#i found one of those subtle ones and ive really considered getting it it would be my first one uwu

[sun-stricken]

Gray, Lyon and Ultear family ideas? I like to imagine Gray tells them about one of fairy tail’s exploits and they get concerned about his well-being. Mandatory family trips thatGray definitely doesn’t try to avoid (Lyon and Ultear have learnt to alert the guild when they’re coming so Gray can’t escape).

And if you don’t mind, Gray and Loke being BFFs?

Thanks! This blog makes me happy

im so happy you enjoy my blog!! i enjoy it too ;D

i’ve actually made a post similar to this before, but heres more

ty for the ask and sorry this took a while, ive been busy

Once a month (at least) family trip are a must, It started with Ultear dragging Lyon places during the 7 year gap but it started being a more regular thing when Gray turned back up

the first couple time they tried to do things together, it was a disaster

they werent familiar with each other and were hella awkward

Also, when Lyon & Ultear would mention to Gray they were coming into town, he would try to convince the team to go on an impromptu job

they’ve since learned to warn Erza of their arrival so he cant leave

‘abt to come into town, do not let that mf leave’

‘Guarding the doors & windows rn’

Grays probably walked into the guild to see one or both of them and turned right back around

The first time the showed up when Gray wasnt around they got a shovel-esque talk

it was terrifying and also confusing considering they think of themselves as his siblings so shouldnt they be giving those talks?

Ultear really embraces her oldest sibling role and pays for practically everything they do together

While Gray will try to avoid in person outings, he will blow up their phones (lacrima devices, whatever) at all hours of the night

Lyon probably has a 16 step skin care routine that he tries to nag the other two into trying it

its a fools quest tbh

They argue. so much. cannot do anything together without a disagreement. they probably have fist fought each other too

They are fiercely protective of one another, they can be pretty subtle about it but its clear as day to anyone who even slightly crosses them

They as a whole have a gambling/betting problem

They have run their pockets dry with it

They have been kicked out of multiple restaurants for being too loud

Gray tells them off-handedly abt the jobs and events he went through while growing up in Fairy Tail and they just sit back and listen in horrified fascination

they have absolutely no planned photos of them, they just never got around to it (*coughcough* grayrefusedtobeinone *coughcough*)

however! they have soooo many candid ones, Gray glared and complained when he found out (but he has half of them framed or saved on his phone)

Ultear and Lyon got pretty close duriny the 7 year gap and while Gray swears hes not jealous of it he totally is

Ultear, Lyon, & Gray; Guilt Complex Extraordinaires

Loke & Gray things :D

Nobody knows if Loke had a house, he always crashed on Grays couch

They are the reason for the sassy man apocalypse

When Lucy lets him have a day off his first stop tends to be Gray

Loke taught Gray how to cook

If Gray gets mad at him, Loke will attempt to deescalate it by flirting

Grayll be scolding him and Loke will stare at him and say smth like “are we about to kiss right now🥰”

it only serves to make Gray more angry

Orange cat friend + Black cat friend

Theyre the type to know in detail each others existential crisis’s but not each others favorite color

they do not have blackmail on each other. none. because they know if they ever did and actually released it the other would post absolutely every single humiliating thing they’ve done ever

There is no such thing as a judgement free zone with them

Their tastes are so different that when they have to get gifts for each other that if they look at smth and think “wow this is so ugly” they know its the right one

they probably hooked up at some point but thats neither here nor there

Loke, Gray and Cana were kinda like the mean girls of young fairy tail

They had a dont ask dont tell policy on their pasts, however every other personal detail abt each other was free reign

A lot of their conversations have left them with a sense of dread, confusion and hysteria

Lokes the type to walk into ppls houses like its his own, his most common victim is Gray

Loke, pulling the shower curtain back: Were out of ch— stop screaming

Gray, still screaming: HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE???

Loke, nonplussed: You left the kitchen window unlocked, also we’re out of chips

SORRY ITS SHORT!!

#fairy tail #gray fullbuster #ultear milkovich #lyon vastia #ft loke #loke fairy tail #sun strickens ft #fairy tail headcanons #sun stricken answers #im having writers block with my foc and apparently that extends to hcs #so sorry

[aro-culture-is]

hi im really confused about who i am and it makes me nervous so ive found this account. Firstly im dating with a guy for a while but every day im thinking that am i using him?? cause he always wants to do some romantic things but i do not and i wanna do what im doing with my friends and wanna do sexual things (also we’re doing it too) and thats the problem am i using him?? but when we do the things what friends do im getting happier but i cant want any romantic things in my relationship and i think i never want it idk im so confused…

hi!

being an aromantic person in any kind of relationship is not inherently "using" someone, manipulation, abuse, or anything of that ilk.

what I do think is important to acknowledge is that if your relationship is not comfortable for you, it's time to consider your boundaries and priorities. if you aren't comfortable, that means that communication needs to occur. my number one advice for communication in situations like these is:

SAFETY FIRST. Physical safety - if this conversation occurs, do you have genuine concern that you may experience physical assault or in any way be blocked from accessing essential things like food, drink, sleep, or living space? if ANY of those are yes, please consider that your number one priority. I start with this over the concept of emotional safety because there's a few caveats there: as someone with a history of trauma, I know I have to spend additional energy into confirming if my expectation for emotional hurt is realistic or trauma-informed.

From there: what are realistic expectations and boundaries to enforce. NOT just discuss. Enforce. If you aren't comfortable with romantic actions in your (romantic)-sexual relationship, a good start is redefining your relationship - it probably isn't realistic to continue a romantic relationship with someone if you don't want romance in your relationship. Some relationships can be redefined as romantic on one side and not on the other, but in all honesty, I don't get the impression from your ask that you are emotionally in a place where that is likely to be a realistic expectation. I don't see someone who is terrified that their identity makes them manipulative being able to enforce their boundaries consistently.

Support network setup: if you can, try to make sure you will have ways to handle your emotions following your conversations and boundary setting, no matter how it goes. Consider what helps you process your emotions - is it other friends, therapists, trusted adults? Is it a soothing activity like playing/listening to music, making food, or crafting in some form? Is it mentally stimulating activities that force you to take a break from the intensity of your feelings, like sudoku or other puzzles, reading, or physical activities?

Next: talking time! Use "I" statements - "I've noticed that I feel weird when we have romantic interactions." is WAY better than "When you do a romantic thing towards me, that feels bad." One owns your emotions and encourages listening, the other encourages a subtle sense of blame towards the other and is likely to make them defensive. Speak on your own emotions, and allow and encourage the other to speak to their own feelings as well.

Decompress and process. However that conversation went, let yourself feel it. If you're upset, you can think "I feel upset. When I feel upset, these things often help me to feel better." I would encourage thinking "I feel" rather than "I am", as it helps you to not identify yourself as a feeling. Thinking "I am sad" can encourage you to feel stuck in that emotion, rather than acknowledging an emotion as a state of being. You are allowed to feel, and you are allowed to chose what to do with that feeling.

Overall... everything will be okay. It might not feel like it right now, but you will be okay. Drink some water, eat a small snack, ad try to rest. You deserve to have healthy boundaries, and every day that you can establish them will help to improve your life. I wish you the best.

#Anonymous #not aro culture #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod axel #advice #i might link this in the pinned post actually? #i feel like i write out these communication advice lists a lot lol #lmk in the replies/reblogs/tags if y'all would like that

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

you know, in almost every horror movie ive seen where the premise is that the whole family/community are cannibals and th3ey just have whole rooms for bodies to be hanging about in different pieces

like...99% of the movies just have it in some filthy shed or room covered in old blood and mold, with flies and meat hanging up sans refrigeration

like how has the whole ass cmmunity or family not died from rotten meat? from salmonella? half the time they don't even clean the bodies before they kill them so they're caked in mud

pretty sure humans have weird shit that lives on our skin just chilling and waiting for a cut or microtear to get inside and cause chaos

you would think an entire household or town dedicated to luring tourists and murdering them for meat would have discovered a more efficient and food safe way to do it.

not to MENTION like how does this happen? you go to a town meeting one day and on the ballot is a) lowering the speed limit around the school, b) funding the community garden restoration, and c) becoming a covert murder factory for fun, food and frivolity...

Things that would make more sense than a hotel that traps people: a SPA

the people coming in are usually the health-conscious type, they have some form of bath or soak throughout the process, they're relaxed, and you could put paralytics in the facemasks or something

not to mention, most rural towns (where this shit is usually set?) have butchers and mobile butchers at that with their own set up and clean room type equipment. there's heaps in our area. Wouldn't it be less suspicious to have them turn up, grab the bodies and transport them to another area for dismemberment? People are used to mobile butchers doing this sort of thing with cowsa, pigs, goats, etc. Plus they'd at least have clean equipment and less chance of unsanitary items used for the dispersement of meat etc.

The butcher shop would be the first place you'd think of for cold storage, but what about the freezers in the local supermarket? Assuming there's a walk-in and everyone's on board so the new people in town won't squeal to anyone.

The local ice cream truck or shop? Maybe?

If it's small enough the pub might have one of those converted shipping containers out back that's now a giant freezer.

Not sure how they'd store it, but like there has to be a better premise for the horror of the movie than 'opened fridge in dirty house to find a head or fingers'.

I think you could absolutely pull a subtle horror story out of this, and they could legit gaslight the tourists (only taking specific ones) by advertising the hotel as haunted.

you KNOW that people will already be on edge thinking they might see a ghost, and will manufacture paranormal incidents, which is the real trojan horse here. so you go in thinking its a ghost movie or maybe a cryptid movie, so when the occasional bone or skull is found it's like "oh no, the ghost/cryptid did it"

the whole time the protagonist(s) are having just the most amazing meals and customer service... never suspecting.

NOT TO MENTION none of that bone windchimes bullshit.

What is the one thing a LOT of farmers use? It smells like vomit so you always know its in use? Blood and Bone fertiliser. no questions asked for anyone who has been in a farming area. It really helps gardens bc nutrients (its legit blood and bone with other mixtures, usually the offal and such from abbottoirs)...

Maybe the locals are like super funny about it. There's a whole year-round halloween attraction with real skeletons and just enough tacky decorations that no one questions them.

Or the doctor's office has a like 6ft skeleton and the school uses it on occasion for biology.

the real question is like, what are funeral rights like in a town dedicated to eating people?

Is a town member considered Sacred and Off the Menu?

Or is it an honour to have your body shared amongst your loved ones after death? Does anything change in the event of like, an unexpected or accidental passing?

If you have a combine harvester accident, and you lose an arm, does the amputated limb go on the menu or it is carefully disposed of?

They never really look into how this whole system works in terms of a full town structure. It's always some shitty "protag snaps awake and screams at dead bodies" thing as people leer or masked people cut up bodies"

If they expanded on it, it could be interesting.

But that's just me, I'd want to know WHY a whole town went full hannibal and how that impacted all the other systems. Government, health, education, political/legal, community events?

Do they have a section for Special Meat Dishes in the local show / bake-off?

What age do kids find out what's happening? You can't have little kids knowing, they'll just blurt it out lmao. And teens might want to do a whole "I'm so dark and unique we eat people" shit online... which could be a problem. What happens to the squeemish?

Do they treat the disabled well? Or are they surplus to requirements? You have to admit, in a tight knit town you either get the They're a Member of the Town treatment, or the That's A Burden treatment. What happens in a town of cannibals?

Also do they run any kind of pathology? A lot of people have undetected STIs, blood or muscle disorders, etc. How do you know you wouldn't hit the whole town?

Would they adopt a potential victim if they caught them trying to serial killer soemone? Is there altruism in the murdering...? eg. a pair of tourists come through and one is obviously very abusive, the other is afraid and injured... do they help the victim dispose of them? Keep the victim? That could be a fun protagonist.

What if a potential victim is pregnant? Is it a No Touchy situation or... veal?

Not to mention, placentas... eat them, plant them, or generally dispose of them? Lots of different cultural beliefs...

How do they handle the missing persons reports? And in the age of technology, there'd be a lot of phones that could be tracked to the spa/town area... how do they get around it? Farraday boxes?

How hard do they promote the town for tourism? Are some of the town members sent out to get jobs in travel agencies in the nearby cities under false names? Who disappear when a few too many clients never come back?

Do they create a myth around a local cliff that people come to pass away at prematurely? Or a cave system filled with the skeletons of the lost? Again its about how to offset the missing.

There'd have to be a SYSTEM to shuttle the blame away and turn the eyes of the law elsewhere, etc.

It could be a hell of a thriller for a movie, book or show if someone took the time to really create a functioning society that was based around eating people?

#tw cannibalism #horror movie tropes #something rotten #its so common as a trope and its always just done in such an open and obvious way #oh yeah like me and the joneses have a bbq next week and we'd love you to help us catch the outsiders... #like how does it hit that point #families are more likely to make sense bc they're insular #but a whole town needs PLANNING

[xiao-isms]

Hello I just recently found your Sub Xiao things and oh my god thank you for the food 😍😍 If ur taking requests, Reader with a strap on with a dildo that can vibrate, and Xiao taking it ? 👀 Multiple orgasms would be fun, but anything you write is excellent so I don’t mind where you take this 😳

— dirty.

character. xiao

content warnings. multiple orgasms, semi dirty talk, verbal humiliation, cum eating, a little bit of cross-dressing. note that reader does have a strap-on but i tried to make it as gn as possible !

word count: 1.7k words

voicemail. agshs thank u sm anon! i really liked writing this one so i hope you enjoy <3 ps sorry if the ending is rushed, i recently started uni so ive been superrr busy lately

you slid a hand up xiao’s milky thigh and underneath his blush pink pleated skirt with a mischievous grin on your lips. halting for a moment, you took the opportunity to squeeze that soft, meaty flesh that you loved so dearly, pressing wet kisses and angry red hickies across his skin. once satisfied with your work, you pull away and lift your head to look the mighty yaksha right in his now watery eyes and archons, you doubted even the lord of geo himself would believe you if you told him how pathetic his war-hardened adeptus looked at this very moment, all from a few simple touches. the sight was laughable, really; his hard cock protruded from his pretty little skirt, precum already beginning to stain the garment, accompanied by a face so flushed you swore you could see steam emerging from the top of the other's head. you grabbed the man by his chin and yanked him forward. "you're fucking disgusting." the words came out a bit harsher than intended but xiao, oh xiao, he loved it. he loved it when you made him feel absolutely deplorable; when you broke him until he felt like he couldn't be fixed. he didn't respond, just looked at you with hunger, like he was silently begging you to fuck his brains out.

you could feel a primal need rumbling from deep inside your chest. “does that turn you on?” you asked with a cheeky grin that only seemed to be getting larger by the second. the petite man whimpered in your tight hold, nodding ever so slightly but much too embarrassed to give a direct response. “how naughty of you, xiao. so shy, and yet so, so dirty.” you interlocked your lips with his, sliding your tongue in his small mouth as soon as you got the chance. it was messy and sloppy and it felt like xiao hadn’t kissed anyone a day in his life, saliva running down the sides of his pointed chin while his mouth hung open, completely pliant, but it was so hot. you were the first to pull away which only made the adeptus whine in a desperate, high-pitched voice.

“so needy,” you whispered in the shell of his ear, rubbing his sensitive sides. “you want it? you want my cock in you, pretty boy?” he makes a sound of affirmation, one that you can’t quite make out, but one nonetheless. xiao shouldn’t be acting like this, he knows he shouldn’t—he’s a yaksha, a seasoned demon slayer, and yet, whenever he’s with you like this, he just can’t seem to control himself. he thrusted his little hips into thin air with vigor in what seemed to be an attempt to get some kind of friction, something—anything—to soothe his aching, leaking dick. “ah, ah,” you hummed, gripping his waist so tightly you were both positive there would be bruises there the next morning. “the only way you’re going to cum tonight is with my cock plowing into your tiny hole.”

the way his face contorted slightly and his brows furrowed while fresh, blood-hot tears ran down his flushed cheeks only spurred you on further. you spread his legs as far as possible, yanking both his cute panties and tight skirt off, throwing it behind you without care. you haphazardly coated your fingers in saliva before inserting them inside your boy with newfound fervor, eager to fuck him until he couldn’t think straight and was unable to scream anything other than your name. he moaned and cried and whimpered as you pumped your wet digits in and out of his hole. the adeptus whined, he was so close, so close, but he desperately wanted to be good for you-- and there's hardly anything that he wouldn't do to achieve that, even if it meant holding back his own orgasm. you scissored your middle and index finger, adding a third once you were sure xiao was stretched well enough. soon, you were able to thrust your digits in back and forth freely while the other's body continuously spasmed and shook with close to unbearable pleasure.

too impatient to keep waiting to enter the small man, you pulled your fingers out entirely, the act ripping a loud wail from your lover. "wh...w-why'd you stop?" the words were slurred and almost incomprehensible—it sounded something akin to what someone drunken on sex would say, certainly not a powerful immortal such as himself. the question truly makes you wonder if he'd actually been paying attention to your previous statement or if he really was that incoherent already. how cute, you hadn't even started and here he was, a drooling, stupid mess. you didn't respond, instead opting to press your lips against his, thrusting your tongue deep into his mouth once again. whether or not he understood you before didn't matter, the night would end the same way: with xiao becoming an inchoate husk of a being, only able to give as much pleasure as he received.

quickly, you fastened the harness onto your waist, clicking the straps in place. the plastic toy connected to the o-ring of the strap-on was useful in more ways than one; you knew the both of you’d love it as soon as you saw it. slowly—or, as slowly as you could, patience thrown to the wind long ago—you slid inside of your boy with ease, his breath hitching in the most adorable ways. you smirked and wrapped your fingers around the small device that activated the dildo. “are you ready?” before the man under you had a chance to answer, you clicked the 'on' button, the sex toy whirling to life. for a second, you thought you could see hearts in xiao’s teary, amber eyes. he looked so, so beautiful like this; spreading his legs and moaning for you like a cheap hooker. nimble fingers landed on his waist once again, allowing your hips to slam against the meat of his thighs. his mouth hung agape in shock at the sudden movement, whimpers and whines spilling from those pretty, swollen lips. "a-ah! mmph, p-please go s—oh!—" the words seemed to have fallen dead on his tongue due to a particularly well aimed thrust, hurling him forward. every little movement felt so good, like he was on cloud nine, and oh god, don't even get him started on the way the pseudo cock vibrated in him, making his head go blank with overwhelming lust. he could feel that familiar heat stirring in his abdomen, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

"mm, 'm gonna cum, ooh, g-gonna cum, p-please!"

with one more rough, domineering push of your hips, he came over the newly washed bed sheets. you slowly came to a stop and slipped your fingers over the head of his now softening sex, swiping away a hefty amount of your lover's seed and putting it towards his face. "open.” you demanded, inserting your moist digits in his mouth. his red, puffy lips wrapped around them, lazily licking you clean. "good boy," you praised as you pulled your fingers from him. "do you like that? you like eating your own cum like a filthy whore, hm?" he didn’t respond, apparently much too fucked out to even nod. you pulled the man’s cheeks together, leaning down and pressing the tip of your nose to his own.

“i asked you a question.”

his mouth opened slightly at the deep, commanding tone of your voice; he was trying to answer you, he was trying to be good, but his mind was so fuzzy he could hardly breathe. with much struggle, he moves his head up and back down. the action was hardly noticeable with how subtle it was, but you took pity on the poor yaksha, placing a kiss that he felt was almost too gentle considering the current situation. you heard a whimper erupt from xiao and a small, close to inaudible humming sound could be heard within the quiet room.

oh.

you had forgotten about that.

the adeptus trembled underneath your form with overstimulation. he feared he was going to cum again, untouched; he could feel it in the way his dick was beginning to harden again, the way the muscles in his stomach churned and tightened in the most delightful ways, ways that made him feel lightheaded and painfully aroused. you were silent, watching your lover’s face scrunch up with a glint of pure lust clear in your half-lidded eyes. you begin to rock your hips back and forth again, only moving a centimeter an inch this time. xiao couldn’t stop thinking about how good you felt inside him, how his slick walls clenched and unclenched around your barely moving cock, making the smallest squelching noises.

it was all so filthy.

with that thought, the warm coil in his lower body burst and he was positive that he was seeing stars from how hard he’d just orgasmed. it was ego-boosting, really, knowing that only you could touch him like this, look at him like this. you hummed, increasing the pace of your thrusts until xiao was crying and incoherent, garbled whines falling from his mouth. “s-sen—o-oh fuck!” tears clouded his vision as you abused his prostate, taking advantage of that sensitive spot inside him. with heavy breaths, you leaned down to look at him directly, the smell of sweat and sex prominent on both of your bodies. “you’re such a good boy, xiao,” you commended between grunts and quiet moans. you brushed his messy hair back so you could see the pleasure on his flushed face, planting kisses on each of his cheeks. he keened at the attention, throwing his arm over his face to hide from the embarrassment.

“you take my cock so well, such a brave boy.” you knew he loved to be showered in praise more than anything, even more than he loved to be pinned down and degraded. he felt as if he’d cum at any second, the way the silicone toy felt inside him was more than exhilarating and your occasionally words only added to that addicing feeling. nimble fingers wrapped around the base of his dick, hard and dripping precum, preparing itself for its third orgasm. you finished him off with just a few strokes, his small form twitching with overstimulation. you slowly came to a stop and cupped his red face with your hands.

“what am i ever going to do with you, baby?”

#hey im not dead #🎐. . . xiao #WAIT I FORGOT TO TITLE THIS #genshin impact smut #xiao genshin impact #xiao x reader #genshin impact #xiao smut #sub xiao #bottom xiao #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #xiao

[ajaviary]

To Dance in a Sea of Stars

To Dance In a Sea of Stars

For @chronic-claire-universe​

Thanks so much for joining my Fall in Love event. I really hope you enjoy this and who you were matched with! I thought Natsuo would fit in a way that goes away from the usual. I also let these two run with this one, it wasn’t my original intention, but I hope you like it, there is just something about being able to be vulnerable with someone that opens a different layer of love, that I felt fit well with them. There will be a part two so I can include what I wanted with them as they haven’t had a chance to do something more fun and mundane and just general get away from the emotional roller coaster that was their part one. 

To everyone else who has taken the time to read this piece. I hope you enjoy it and thanks so much! Likes, Reblogs and comments are always welcomed and appreciated! 🥰

Natsuo Todoroki X Reader

Summary: In the wake of tragedy, healing and love can be found. Shared understanding isn’t always easy to find and loss is never an easy thing to deal with, but it does get easier when you are able to share your most vulnerable feelings with someone who loves you.

TW: I feel this is necessary with this one to place here. There are mentions of a car accident, and a death. I do not label this as dark content as it doesn’t fall in the realm that I’d label it, but if it should be considered that. Let me know and I’ll change it. This is very much an angst/love/fluff please though. 

 Word count: 3988

You lean back in your chair, feeling your shoulder pop and your muscles creak in your back, you reach out over your head allowing your body to work out any remaining kinks. Your gaze drifts to the time on your computer before looking back at the patient's profile you have open, going over their current med list before you finish charting in their profiles that you’ve given them their scheduled medications. Some are IV meds, while others they were given under supervision. 

This work wasn’t exactly in your field, you wouldn’t be doing a nurse’s job, but this residency would help on your resume. Once you finished your rotation in a few weeks, your supervisor was going to write a letter of recommendation for you. It was an opportunity you couldn’t pass up. It left you pretty busy though, you were running on empty, your eight hour shift had turned into extra hours. You weren’t sure when you would be off work and it was already after nine.

Your department was down a night shift nurse and you had  jumped in to help out, not because you would look good for anyone, but because it was just how you were, you lent a hand to those who needed it. Eventually these people could be your real co workers if you got hired here once you finished your final semester.

You had just finished your notes on the four patients you had taken over for, so the few remaining nurses weren’t so overwhelmed on your floor. 

“Y/N, you’re still here. Would you come with me, I want to show you something.” 

You twist around already pushing yourself to your feet, your phone on silent in the pocket of your white coat. “Dr. Reese,” you greeted quickly as you moved over to her, sharing a look with the charge nurse on your floor who gave a subtle nod of her head, a sign it would be fine if you left. 

“You want to be in the pediatric field don’t you?” She asked as she moved to the staff elevators and you both waited for it to arrive on your floor. “Yes ma’am, it’s what I’ve always wanted to do,” You don’t miss the way her lips press together as she sucks in a breath. “I shouldn’t ask you to come,” the words were so low, you almost didn’t catch them. You probably weren’t really supposed to.

Dr. Andrea Reese knew she shouldn’t bring you to the Peds ER,  but the experience would be invaluable, no matter what happened. You needed to be able to handle the good and the bad and sometimes in this line of work, there were not good outcomes. These sort of emergency situations could make or break someone and she felt it was best if possible to do them with another doctor present, better now than when you were shoved in a situation  on your own fresh out of med school feeling you could change the world and be in over your head.

You straighten your shoulders and ask the question you know you don’t want to, but you can’t back out, you won’t back out. Maybe you can do something, maybe you can make a difference, help the most vulnerable. “What’s the situation?” 

The older woman studies you a moment before she brushes a strand of her shoulder length hair behind her ear and motions for you to enter the elevator as she presses the button to the first floor. “We have an incoming John Doe age range five to seven years old, multiple fractures. A drunk driver incident. We won’t know the full extent until they arrive.” You let her fingers grip the metal rail behind your back hoping to hide the shaking in your hands. 

“What about the parents?” You ask your voice low, but firm as you work hard to emotionally detach from this situation. You had to focus and couldn’t let your own personal feelings get in the way. 

“The father is on his way, the mother was airlifted to Memorial. We were given verbal consent to do whatever is necessary,” There is a tension in her shoulder that you had only just now noticed. “Your first emergency can be the hardest,” as she says those words, it’s the squeeze of her hand on your shoulder that gives you the boost you need to go through with this. That little boy would need your help, you had to be on your A-game.

You can’t help but be nervous though, you felt you weren’t qualified for whatever you were about to witness, the horrors of a tragedy you wouldn’t be able to forget. You sucked in another breath and tightened your resolve. You would see this through.

 “You’re really only here to observe and if I need anything from you, you’ll follow through. We’ll handle everything.”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

The elevator dings, signifying your stop and you have to quicken your pace to keep up with Dr. Reese as she moves with all the grace and poise you would expect from someone of her caliber. She takes you into the ER pediatrics wing and what you find is nothing like the laid back atmosphere you’d seen before, it was utter chaos, nurses and the Pediatric doctor whose on rotation tonight are all moving things aside from one of the larger rooms. Everyone is on edge there is no other way to describe it.

Everyone is grim faced and ready for whatever is about to come. 

“ETA two minutes!” The shout of the time causes many who have lined up along the emergency entrance to stiffen, but there is a subtle shift too as though everyone here is going to do the best they can.

“Take a breath everyone and we’ll do the best we can, we’ll do all we can!” Dr. Reese had spoken up and been the beacon in the darkness, many needed to hear. You had needed to hear as you followed her instructions without thought as the first flash of red and white lights reflected off the ambulance entrance. 

Natsuo let his attention drift to his phone as he lingered in the kitchen of his apartment. “She should have been off hours ago,” he muttered as he dragged his hand through his hair. He was trying not to overreact, but usually you texted him and let him know when you were off work, and heading to your car, and when you made it there and were heading home. It might have seemed like over communication, but it was just something you two did, even if you couldn’t always respond back. Knowing you were safe was incredibly important to him.

He tapped his finger against the counter before he tried to call you again and frowned as the call kept ringing and ringing before hitting your voicemail. He knew you were at work, but he couldn’t let his worry go and pressed his hand against the counter as he let his phone slide across the island. “I’m sure she’s fine,” he told himself as his blue eyes went to the clock over the stove. It was a few minutes after eleven now. 

His fingers curled around his car keys as he shoved them in the pockets of his dark gray sweats and reached for his phone. 

But what if she’s not?

It was a thought he couldn’t let go of, he couldn’t just assume everything was fine, not when he couldn’t get ahold of you. He couldn’t just ignore this, he wasn’t like the last guy you dated, who was fine with little communication, not knowing if you were safe. 

Perhaps it was because of his dad’s job, but he couldn’t not know if you were okay, that you were still breathing. It had been an adjustment for you, but you didn’t feel it was overwhelming or over the top, it was just how he showed he cared, that he loved you. You were important to him, you mattered. 

It was that worry that brought him out of his apartment, to his car where he headed toward your work. It wasn’t hard to find the employee parking, he’d been here with you before a couple of times, when he’d stop by to have lunch with you. Sometimes he’d even drop you off and pick you up from work. He enjoyed those days, being able to hold your hand as he drove. It was so mundane, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world. His fingers tightened on the steering wheel at a red light, as for a moment he wondered what his life would be like without you. “Idiot,” he growled to himself as he felt his uneasiness grow as he pressed on the gas pedal a little too hard when the light changed colors.

The hospital looked just like it always did, but he parked and entered through the employee entrance. He wasn’t about to go through either ER entrance, that would be a level of embarrassment he wanted to spare you. As he hit the elevator to the first floor, he swung by the security office and it helped that a lot of people knew him, thanks to his dad and well you. He was around you often enough, he was regular. 

“I don’t mean to bother you Jake,” he told the older man as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “It’s silly really…but Y/N was supposed to be off work hours ago and I can’t get a hold of her.” 

The older man gave him a knowing look before he passed him a visitor’s badge. “Visiting hours are over, but take this. I think she was called down to the Pediatric wing,” he told him his voice grave as he let the badge go. 

At this news Natsuo frowned, his teeth pressing together tightly. He knew that look…it was a look his father had given him before telling him his older brother wasn’t coming home. 

He sucked in a breath and turned his back, not wanting the other to see his face. “Thanks, I’ll check on her.” It was all he could say as he kept his voice steady as he moved past the visitor elevators to the other hallways that didn’t look like they went anywhere to those who weren’t familiar with the layout. He remembered where the Pediatric ER was, because you had been so excited to give him a tour, one day when things had been slow. You had also shown him off a little to your friends and he’s been nice and respectful,  but he hadn’t let go of your hand the whole time. 

He had just slipped through the automatic doors of the Pediatric wing, he saw you at one of the computers, sitting there staring at the screen almost blankly, not comprehending whatever you were trying to do. He felt his body tremble with emotions he wasn’t sure how to name as he slowly moved closer.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him, and he glanced to the side to see a tired middle aged woman, he glanced down at her badge to read her name. “Mr. Todoroki, we were just about to call you.” Her tone wasn’t exactly disapproving, but her gaze darted to the badge in his hand. “I got worried when I couldn’t get a hold of her.” His words weren’t anything special really, but he saw the older woman blink and raise a finger to run under her eye. The emotion he couldn’t help but see made him frown, whatever had happened here…it wasn’t good.

“Please take her home tonight —“ With a hard press of her lips, Dr. Reese couldn’t stop her gaze from shooting to the closed glass door where the screen was drawn, but nothing could hide the anguished, gut wrenching sobs that could still be heard. “Tonight hasn’t been easy, consider Y/N off today. I will see her on Monday.” 

Natsuo frowned at her words before his gaze caught the clock to see it was nearing midnight. He nodded, feeling his throat go tight. He forced himself to swallow before he slowly approached you. You didn’t react to him and instead he crouched down to your level, his fingers settling on your legs. “Hey beautiful,” his greeting and soft words had your eyes tracking him slowly. 

You swallowed your features tight as you took in a slow breath, you opened your mouth but no sound would come out and instead you closed it, your teeth sinking against your lower lip. “Let’s go home,” he said softly, his fingers brushing across your knuckles, watching you pull away from him, your gaze darting to the closed room, your hand curling tighter into a fist, so hard your knuckles were white. 

He knew this wasn’t how you wanted to fall apart, not here, not like this not in front of so many. He doesn’t take it personally as you withdraw from him, whatever happened tonight, it wasn’t good. But, when was it ever? 

Instead of being too pushy he tried a different approach, letting you come to the decision to leave. He sat back on his heels and withdrew his touch from you. He could read the signs and it wasn’t hard to see that you needed space and you needed control. “I’ll be waiting out in the hallway, come find me when you’re ready to leave.” With those parting words he rose to his full height and maneuvered out of the Pediatric ward without any issue. 

As you watched him leave you let your mind wander back to what had happened a short time ago. Your nails biting into your palms as you let your gaze go back to the child’s information, you had a name, a name to associate with the face you couldn’t stop seeing in your head or whose small hand you could still feel in your own. 

A shuddering breath left your lips and you held tight to your ability to weather any storm that came your way. You had to weather through, you had to move past this, but how? The first loss is always the hardest, you knew that…but it wasn’t any easier…to know when you got to go home but that little boy, he didn’t get to go home. That father was without his son and his wife was still fighting for her life at another hospital. Did he even know, had anyone told him? 

Surely someone had, someone must have. You swallowed your whole body tense as the door opened, sliding back in the silence that had descended the Peds Emergency Room. The middle aged man, looked at all of you gathered and bowed his head. His voice was trembling and emotional, but he told you all “Thank you, thank you for t-trying to save my l-little boy.” The chaplain of your hospital placed a hand on his shoulder and directed him out into another hallway. One of the officers on the scene lingered going to drive him to the hospital where his wife had been taken.

You weren’t the only one moved to tears, but you turned away from the child's father and your coworkers. Instead you moved away, slipped into the back hallway. Your arms curled around Natsuo’s waist when you found him lingering in the hallway, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his sweats. You buried your face into his chest and his arms caged you in, protected you from falling too far. His fingers traveled through your hair as he felt your body shutter against his own. He didn’t try and get you to walk with him, instead he stayed right where you were and only after you calmed down enough, did you take his hand and he didn’t mind how tightly you held on to his hand as you both went back to his car. 

He helped you fasten your seatbelt when your hands wouldn’t stop shaking, before he started the car. He laced his fingers with yours when you had prodded at him silently, needing that connection, that reassurance as he left the parking garage. He would always pick you up, he would always support you. This right here, right now was what he wanted for the rest of his life. To be someone you could lean on and be vulnerable with. 

The drive home was quiet, but that was alright, he didn’t fill the silence with meaningless chatter or sugar coated words like “it’ll get better”, or “ things would be alright.” That wasn’t true and he wasn’t about to lie to you. 

You had gotten control over your emotions, on the walk back to his. Just because you had control didn’t mean you were alright, no your boyfriend saw the cracks in your hastily thrown on armor. He didn’t poke or prod at the cracks, no he smoothed over the rough edges and gave you the space you needed to come to terms with letting him in or not. You didn’t need to worry with him, he had proven to take your emotions without fail, without any negative reactions, or possessiveness you had dealt with from your other boyfriend, he wasn’t intimidated by your intelligence and your drive. He supported you wholeheartedly, in every aspect of your life. Sure you both argued, but he was not his father, he would never raise a hand against you and he always kept your disagreements clean, he didn’t chip away at your insecurities or degrade you.

He turned the engine off and sat back in his seat, his fingers still carefully laced with yours, he unbuckled his seat belt and yours before settling back. “I was worried about you,” his admission was low in the silence between you. Your fingers tightened on his own and he continued his voice low and steady as you drew your knees to your chest, he didn't comment on your shoes on his passenger seat, none of that matters.

He ran his other hand through his hair, wondering if he’d stepped out of line. He didn’t want to lose someone else who meant so much to him. The thought of losing you worried him, he’d pieced together what happened tonight, it was too easy not to do that. He may not be in the same field as you, but he wasn’t a slouch in the intelligence department either. He bit back his own words not wanting to make you feel pressured to talk.

“He was only five years old,” you whisper into the darkness of the car, as the heat had been slowly seeping away for some time.

You hadn’t even in the awkward position you were in, let go of his hand, you had kept your fingers laced so tightly with his, that he was sure you were hurting yourself but he didn’t step in, didn’t stop you. 

He grit his teeth as the desperate edge to your voice, the despair he knew all too well. “C’mon beautiful,” he murmured, tugging gently on your clasped hand. 

You didn’t know what set you moving across the console, but you were pressed against him, your legs sliding across his own, your arms wound around his neck and your head bowed, eyes filled with tears once more that trickled slowly down your cheeks. His arms slid around your back as he held you tight as you cried. He was quiet, your pain he shared silently.

He traced small designs into your back and softly told you how much he loved you, but for the most part the exchange was quiet. 

Natsuo felt you shiver in her arms and made the decision to take you inside, sliding carefully from the car and keeping you from hitting your head as he got out of the car with you. You weren’t asleep, but you let him carry you, you let him take care of you. 

Once inside his apartment, he took you into the bathroom, letting you stand on your own as he helped you out of your coat, but you shoved his hands away. You were perfectly capable of doing this yourself, you didn’t need his help. “I can do it!” you hate the bite in your words as you avert your gaze as you strip out of the rest of your clothes. He doesn’t say anything to your anger, he’s been there, before he may have been years younger, but he’s probably one of the few who would understand what you’re going through, who understood you. Instead he moves to fill the tub with hot water, before he heard you move toward the counter, for a moment he didn’t think anything of it until the shattering of hard ceramic against the wall. He swiftly turned, striding over to you, as he watched, your hands moving to slam against the counter. 

“Y/N!” He called loudly to try and get your attention, he was too late as your balled hands met the bathroom counter. His hands swiftly grabbed your wrists, trying to coax you away. “Are you hurt?” He asked you, his eyes looking at your hands at your wrists looking for any injuries, any bleeding. His fingers brushing up your wrists as you pull away from him. 

Your boyfriend carefully backed you away from the other small breakable items on the counter and away from what littered the bathroom entryway. “It’s not fair—“ You told him, your nails biting across your flesh. “I know,” he whispered as he brushed your cheek once more of the tears you hadn’t even known you had shed.

“I couldn’t leave him like that,” you whispered brokenly. “I-I c-could only h-hold his hand.” Your words had him sliding to his knees as you sank against the wall. He moved with you, letting you move. “He must have been so scared, so alone –” your breath hitches and you press your hands against your eyes as though that would somehow make the images flashing across your mind stop, as though that would somehow make it all stop. 

Natsuo grit his teeth as he listened to the bits and pieces that you told him. He kept himself between you and the entryway. He didn’t want you to  accidentally hurt yourself. He didn’t reach for you, he wasn’t sure what the best course of action was, but he felt you needed a little personal space. He didn’t want to crowd you and he slowly sank back on the balls of his feet. Carefully he stroked down your arm, wishing he could make things easier. 

“He wasn’t though,” His soft words caused you to peer at him through your hands, your eyes red rimmed and filled with a sorrow he couldn’t ease, he couldn’t take that away. With time it would get easier, but this was a battle he couldn’t help you with. Slowly his fingers clasped your hand, his gray eyes met yours, his other hand cupping your cheek as you lowered your hands as your elbow rested on your bent knees and he moved carefully into the space your legs provided. “He had you babe, he had someone who showed him love and compassion. You stayed with him.” He whispered as a single tear trailed down his cheek. 

Your fingers brushed across his cheek, slowly and with great care you wiped away the tear he’d shed. As though you were seeing him for the first time. “I’m sorry,” came your faint words. 

“Don’t apologize,” he pressed as his thumb caressed your cheek and you moved with such a speed, that he fell back, your hand tightening on his cheek as your lips found his as your body settled over his own. His fingers laced with yours as his arms curled around your back to draw you closer. You would never be alone, he would always be here to pick up the pieces. 

#mha #bnha #mha fluff #bnha fluff #bnha x reader #mha x reader #natsuo todoroki #natsuo todoroki x reader #natsuo x you #bnha natsuo #natsuo x reader #aj's fics #Aj's Events #fall in love event

[from-a-reckless-writer]

here lads have an angsty supercorp soulmate story

It starts exactly 24 hours after Kara’s departure. 

It’s subtle at first. It actually reminds Lena of the first few days after they met. 

The slow but steady build-up of pain manifesting itself into little things; shaky hands, dizzy spells, chest pains. The pills help, of course. She’s already ingested 5 pills in the span of 3 hours and she’s contemplating taking more. Just to keep the pain—threatening to overtake her—at bay. But what good would she be if Alex finds her passed out on the floor? Veins chock-full of narcotics? 

So, she wills her hands to stop shaking and pushes on. She sends a text to Jess to send a shipment of pills to her home address; tells her to be discreet. 

She can do it. She’s done it before. She can fucking do it again. And she will bring Kara home. 

Because every moment that passes with them apart, means a step closer to Lena’s death. 

You might think she’s exaggerating, but really she isn’t. See, Kara’s her soul mate, not just in the figure of speech wax-poetic sense but literally Kara’s her soul mate. 

But her being a Luthor of course, soul mates wouldn’t come easy. None of it had ever been easy. Why would this one be an exception? It wasn’t unheard of, no, there were a few rare cases of it being recorded. Of course, Lena would be one of those people. Why wouldn’t the universe add shitty soul mate luck into the long list of misfortunes in Lena’s life? What’s one more curse, right? 

See, Kara’s her soul mate but...Lena isn’t Kara’s.

“You look like shit, Luthor. You’re allowed to take a break you know?” 

It’s Alex who breaks her out of her reverie. She prays to God that Alex doesn't notice her shaking hands. She’s well aware she looks like shit. She feels like shit, she doesn’t need Alex of all people to point that one out. But now, Lena notices that the whole place is empty, she didn’t even notice J’onn slip out. She didn’t even notice Alex coming in too, really. 

Brainy had long passed-out in one of the beds in the MedBay in the 2nd level of The Tower, Nia taking up the opposite bed. There was a brief moment when she walked in that made her feel tempted to occupy the third bed and take a break. But then, her chest tightened and a flare of pain lit up her whole insides, it was reason enough to keep her feet moving and back unto the computers trying to pinpoint Kara’s location. 

“I know,” she replies, “But it’s really not necessary, Alex. I’ll rest after.” 

She doesn’t need rest, what she needs is Kara to be here. 

She refuses to look at Alex, fingers flying across the screen. Alex shifts closer to her, lays a hand on her right arm prompting her to stop. Her eyes land on Alex's hand and continue up to Alex’s eyes. 

“We’ll find her, Lena. But you have to rest. I’m serious, Luthor. Come on,” Alex persists, wrapping her hand more firmly and tugging at Lena to follow her. 

She doesn’t say that rest will do her more harm than good. She doesn’t say that if she closes her eyes all she would see is Kara’s body floating all alone in space and the pain would start anew.

First, her chest and then travelling up the rest of her body until all there is is pain. 

She doesn’t say that she needs to work in order to distract her from the pain. 

Instead, she holds her tongue, lets Alex bring her to the 2nd level and tries to have the most fitful sleep of her life. 

***

It gets worse on the 5th day of the second week. It really isn’t a surprise considering this is the longest she’s had to go without Kara around. 

She’s taken mega-doses of painkillers in anticipation for today. Last night was a nightmare, she had to bite down on a hand towel as waves of pain assaulted her, again and again and again.

When morning came, it slowly subsided. Once feeling had returned to her legs she ran into the kitchen and swallowed 3 pills immediately. 

It doesn’t matter if she’s taken 3 or 4 or a whole bottle today, because it will just get worse and worse the longer Kara isn’t by her side. 

And so, she drags herself into The Tower again, because she needs to finally find a way to bring her back. 

She tries to ignore the tightening of her chest even though she’s really having a hard time breathing now. Not to mention the pain behind her eyes that is bit by bit making it difficult for her to coordinate with Brainy’s computations. 

She’s taken to keeping a bottle of pills on her person now. Opting to take them dry as if they were mint candies to keep her tongue moving while programming lines of codes. 

She thinks she’s still being subtle. 

Well, she is.

Until she isn’t. 

She crumples to the floor in front of everyone and a guttural scream of pain breaks free from her lips. 

***

When she wakes it’s to Alex sitting by her bedside. 

She lets out a groan in response to the sore feeling of her entire body. It’s like the time they were forced to do team building exercises all day in Mt. Helena and Lena nearly passed out. 

Alex hands her a bottle of water. She sips greedily before handing it back and wiping her mouth. 

“Hey? How you feeling?”

“Like I wanna die.”

Alex sighs and Lena intentionally avoids her eyes. 

“It’s Kara isn’t it?” Alex says and Lena doesn’t bother with lying anymore.

“It is.”

“How you survived almost two weeks away from her, I wouldn’t know. Two days away from Kelly—” Alex breaks off, inhales deeply and then sighs again, “That’s already torture for me.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” She retorts flatly, hands fiddling with the rough edges of the blanket. Alex looks like she wants to say something about that but Lena beats her there. 

“How?” She asks, gesturing to the IV drip. How am I not feeling pain right now? How am I still breathing? How am I still alive?

“The DEO created a special fluid for agents,” Alex reveals, “They distribute it to agents on field assignments. That way, them and their partners don’t die from pain. Good thing, J’onn had a stash hidden here, well, we always thought it would be for me and Kelly. Never expected you, Luthor.”

Lena takes that in for a moment. So, the DEO had a special formula of Dextrose to stave off the pain of soulmate separation and apparently she’s using up all the remaining bags of it. 

And it’s not even supposed to be for her. 

“Don’t worry about it. Brainy can replicate the formula.”

Worry must’ve shown on her face. So, she works on schooling her features again, she knows that Alex is itching to ask her questions but is trying to be polite. 

There’s really no use hiding anything now though. 

“K-Kara’s my soulmate,” she finally says out loud, and she’s always thought that it’s supposed to feel cathartic and freeing but instead it just feels heavy. 

“But I’m not hers,” she quickly finishes, better to rip the band-aid off. She briefly looks at Alex, whose face doesn’t give her anything; mouth a tight line and eyes shining with curiosity. 

She doesn’t know if Alex had ever had a conversation with Kara about soul mates before. Had they talked about it? Had Kara ever mentioned Lena acting too clingy whenever they don’t see each other for a short period of time? Had Kara ever told Alex if she would want a soul mate of her own?

But the look and silence from Alex’s side makes Lena refrain from asking. 

Instead, she starts to tell her how it had hit her the instant Kara walked in her office. How there was a zing! and her brain had immediately screamed HER. That’s the one. She’s the one. 

How when they met eyes and Kara had told her her name it felt like Lena’s soul finally found her home. 

“I asked for her name and I kind of thought she’d wait for me to get out of the office,” Lena trails off and Alex takes it for what it is. 

Their first meeting was all sparks for Lena but then, the conversation kept going and going and Clark had tried interrogating her and Kara didn’t do anything. 

Didn’t approach her afterwards, didn’t show any reaction that might’ve given Lena a clue that she felt the way Lena did. 

A conclusion was easily reached. 

Kara was hers but she wasn’t Kara’s. 

After the initial shock settled in, Lena set to work. Because that was what she did best. Work out a solution to everything and anything that poses a problem. 

How many people have dreamed about meeting their soul mate? How many years had Lena sat there hoping that tomorrow maybe, maybe she’ll finally meet them? She never expected this, never expected her soul to find a home that isn’t hers. 

Staying away from Kara was a non-starter, it’s only been a day since they parted but Lena can already feel the beginnings of pain. Slow but sharp shots of throbbing from behind her eyes then came the shaky hands then the dizziness and then— 

They became friends and Lena made sure Kara didn’t know anything about her growing need to be close to her; didn't let Kara know about the fact that the universe made Lena its most epic punchline yet. 

She agreed to scheduled game nights and movie nights and lunch dates. She never knew the pain of soulmate separation during those early days. Kara was always around; bringing her a salad, covering an L-Corp gala, crashing on Lena’s couch. 

“It was easy, you know? Kara was always there. What are friends for?” Lena mimics Kara and then repeats somberly, “It was easy, Alex.”

Or at least, Lena kept telling herself it was easy. She had it easy. She didn’t have to think about painkiller pills or cutting her business trips short—because the pain becomes unbearable too soon—like so many of her board members do. 

She had it easy with Kara, she can just call and she’ll be there. 

Until, Kara started going MIA. And for three days pain overtook her entire life. The pain made her unable to think clearly, the pills kicking in at the last minute. 

“You haven't been around. Supergirl's been there for me. Person who judges me on the very premise of my last name, but my best friend hasn't,” she accuses because Goddamnit Kara has no idea what kind of shit Lena had to endure with her going away with no warning. 

Logically, Lena knows it’s partly her fault. 

She knows that if she only just told Kara that she needs her to live, Kara would stay. But she doesn’t want anything to change. 

Of course, Kara would stay, it was the kind of thing a person like her would do. 

Kara would take care of her, whatever Lena needed she would give. 

But Lena didn’t want things that way. 

She wants Kara to want her the same way she wants her. 

But no, Lena’s not going to tell her that. She is never going to know. She will find an alternative. So, she injects as much venom as she can into that accusation, “B-but maybe it’s better if I leave.” 

She makes Kara leave. 

She just got her cure back and immediately Lena had pushed her away. The moment Kara stepped out of the door, a dull throb already kicked in her chest; as if telling Lena she was making a big mistake. 

She regretted that night so much, Jess had to drag her drunken body out of her office. 

Then it became normal again and Lena went back to not worrying about body pains again. 

Because a different kind of pain is trying to make itself known. 

A gaping hole in her heart that is entirely unrelated to the biological consequences of being separated from your soul mate. 

She was falling in love. 

She was falling in love and she wasn’t prepared for how it would hurt to have Kara not love her back. She can endure the physical pain, there are pills for that. 

But there wasn’t any type of medication to see your other half everyday and not have them see you as theirs. 

When Lex told her Kara’s secret. Something broke inside of her. Which was saying something, considering she was getting her heart broken every single day that Kara wouldn’t look her way. 

But to know how stupid she’s been? To realize that the flutter of her heart whenever Supergirl was near was her brain telling her it was Kara? 

There was no word for that. 

“I think, I kept rejecting the idea of Supergirl being Kara you know?” Lena huffs out, laughs drily, “Imagine how fucking painful it would be, Alex, if Supergirl was my soul mate. This person who didn’t trust me wholly, who lies behind my back, imagine if she was my soul mate? It would have felt humiliating. My body knew better, though,” she admitted sadly. 

“When Lex told me, all the little painful outbursts every time Supergirl flew away? It made sense. Everything made sense, but at the same time? Everything hurt too.”

She tried hurting her back. Created Hope. Experimented with Q-waves. Foolishly used Myriad. Teamed up with Lex.

But even through all of those? The separation pain never knocked her out. 

Even when they were fighting, Kara was still always around. Even when the world—the fucking multiverse got reset. The pain wasn’t enough to knock her out. Not like today. 

Because Kara was always lingering around convincing her not to join Lex, crossing paths in CatCo, flying into her home even if it was to call her a villain. 

All of those interactions were still sustenance for Lena. 

But this? This separation? This knowledge that Kara was somewhere out there, unreachable. That she could be lightyears away in space and it has been two weeks since Lena had last saw her, it has her every molecule shouting to go find Kara. 

“It’s never been like this before,” Lena confesses, “I thought I could do it without-”

“Help?” Alex supplies and Lena finally turns to her and she feels a hand squeeze her. 

“Yeah.” She mutters back softly. 

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong, Luthor. You’re part of the team now whether you like it or not. We are going to help you, we’re going to find a temporary solution for that pain and then we’ll get back to work and we’ll find Kara.”

#im thinking if i'll continue this after the 2nd ep but hmm we'll see #anyways hope u liked that little blurb #the reckless writer writes #a supercorp ficlet of sorts #supercorp fic #soul mate au #supercorp #rcklss writes

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 2

photo credits - @ssahotchnerr

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, show rating 16+ for reference. depictions of violence, stalking, murder, angst, age gap couple, language 

summary - You and Aaron reunite, but it’s not exactly anything to celebrate over. The case moves forward, but you really wish it hadn’t like this.  

a/n - no one is allowed to call me out on my lack of LA/california geographical knowledge. ive also started including readers mental thought train which is italicized (flashbacks will also be in italics, but ill always properly mark a flashback). if you arent tagged but asked, just send another ask/reply! i mustve missed it on accident.

blog rules 

masterlist // read it on ao3 here

chapter 1 // chapter 3

-----

Chapter 2 

Aaron Hotchner was standing in front of you. Impeccable, not even a slight crease in his shoes and suit pressed to perfection. He still smelled faintly like cedar, a thought you quickly tried to send away; it was too late though, already remembering how pitiful it was post breakup, when you would smell the shirts he left at your house, a desperate attempt to remember that he existed in your life. You’d spent hours, days even, thinking about how you’d react if you were ever to see Aaron in person again. At the top of the list was screaming at him, really giving him a piece of your mind for leaving the way he did. Or, maybe you’d be cool and composed, the epitome of maturity and ‘I’m Totally Over You’. You’d even considered completely ignoring him, not even giving him a second glance. Instead you were frozen to the spot, staring up at the man who broke your heart. 

Pulling your eyes away from him, they darted towards the gap between his body and outside, internally debating if you’d be able to somehow sneak around him. As if he could read your mind, not like you had been particularly subtle, he moved to close the gap before you had the chance to fully formulate an escape. 

“Y/N,” he tried again, voice a bit firmer this time around. It’d be better if he couldn’t speak. But then again he had such a beautiful voice-. No, you mentally clamped down on that thought before it could lead you down another rabbit hole. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Tell you, uh, what?” You asked, hyper aware of how mousy you must’ve sounded.

“That someone was murdering women that looked like you. You should’ve called my team sooner, it was irresponsible to put yourself at further risk of-” 

“Are you trying to imply that this is somehow my fault, Agent Hotchner?” The words felt bitter on your tongue. It wasn’t like you, to suddenly be so quick to anger. Years in the spotlight had taught you to hold your tongue, but Aaron’s words managed to cut right through. 

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know that-,” he tried to interject, but you weren’t going to back down so easy. 

“I know what Agent? Please, tell me the acceptable response to this situation,” you spat out at him, finding a brief enjoyment in the way his face scrunched up ever so slightly. “The police were working on the case, I’ve dealt with weirdos before.” Aaron opened his mouth again as if to speak, but you weren’t finished, “You really think I believed you’d answer if I called?” 

His face fell at that and you felt some form of internal victory swell in your chest. Y/N 1 point, Aaron Hotchner 0. The victory was short lived though, as you came to the realization that the two of you were still in a very public setting. 

“I’m not going to fight with you Agent, I suggest you get back to your team.” With that you shoved your way past him, stomping the entire way to your car. It was a shame, the way the anger and sadness was consuming you, maybe if it hadn’t, this time you would’ve noticed the clicking coming from the tree line. 

----

Hotch wished you had been angry; it would’ve been easier to handle you if you had been screaming in his face or throwing low-blow comments his way. He could deal with anger. It’d be easier if he could pretend that you were being completely out of line and could warrant being ignored for the rest of the case. 

That wasn’t you though, and he knew this. He didn’t have to be a profiler to see and hear the way you struggled to hold yourself together. He didn’t need to be a profiler to feel how disappointed you were with him. Hotch didn’t know how to deal with this or you.  Even though it had been months, had he truly fallen so far from your graces; was your opinion so lowly of him now? 

Hotch wasn’t sure which was worse to stomach, the fact that you had such little faith in him or the deep rooted feeling in his gut that told him you were right- had you called him unannounced two months ago, he wouldn’t have picked up the phone. 

----

You sat in your car for twenty minutes, at least. It was pitiful, the way you were crying in your car, to a sad playlist, over a guy who hurt your feelings; it felt like high school all over again. In the moment, you had felt good, the way you watched Aaron’s face twist and fall at your words giving you some sick form of satisfaction. 

It’s not like you had lied to him or anything. You hadn’t even stretched the truth for ultimate impact. The whole overly formal ‘Agent’ thing was definitely on purpose though. No, you had meant every word you said to Aaron, especially about not believing he’d answer if you called. What would you have even said if you called and he did pick up? Hi Aaron, remember me? Good, anyway hope you’re doing well but I think I have a murderous stalker, can you help? Actually, that’s probably exactly how the conversation would’ve gone, but that’s beside the point. 

The point was that even if you could trust the Unit Chief of the BAU to do his job, you weren’t sure you could trust Aaron Hotchner anymore. 

----

When you finally did muster up the courage to return to the conference room, you really wished you hadn’t. You should’ve just turned your car on and left. Was it possible to ghost the FBI? You’d heard enough stories from Aaron about how their tech wizard had found people with just a single loose thread, there was definitely no way you were going to make some spy like disappearance. 

Aaron wasn’t in the room, something you were grateful for in the moment. But what you weren’t grateful for was how the team had managed to set up multiple bulletin boards in your absence; filled with your photo, crime scene photos, the dead women and your personal least favorite, the dead women’s bodies. 

Of course, you knew what was going on, you were a big girl, well old enough to understand and process the gravity of the situation. But you’d only seen photos of the women alive, with personality and humanity; something about that made them look less like you and more like them. Looking at them now- dead, eyes closed, faces tilted away from the camera- these women didn’t just look like you, they were you. 

You hadn’t even realized you were drifting closer to one of the boards until you felt a hand pull at the crook of your elbow. Turning your head ever so slightly you saw JJ, giving you one of her nice looks again. 

“Y/N, you don’t need to see these,” JJ started, already pulling you in the opposite direction. You were about to agree, head already halfway to a full nod when you noticed something from the corner of your eye. 

“Wait!” You exclaimed, pulling your arm back and getting right in front of a photo of victim #2. You very gently pulled the photo of the wall and held it closely in front of your face. Were you allowed to move it? Oh well. You felt the rest of the team’s eyes burning holes through your back so you turned to face them. “I, um, I’m pretty sure the sweater she’s wearing is mine.” You said, voice coming out as a whisper. 

The team certainly seemed to liven up at that statement. Even though they hadn’t even been in LA for a full 24 hours yet, it was obvious from the start that LAPD hadn’t been lacking on the case, rather the unsub was just that good. They reported no evidence from any dump sites,- and now those sites had been contaminated far too much to double check- there had been no witnesses for any of the abductions, and the unsub hadn’t attempted any contact with Y/N; all in all, they had nothing. 

“Y/N, are you sure?” Emily asked, she was quickly pulling photos of the other three women down, bringing them over to the roundtable. “Are the women in these photos wearing anything else you recognize?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure. There’s a little hole right there, on the side, the threads were pretty loose and I got stuck on a doorknob once, ripped it right open. I couldn’t find it when I went to fix it, just assumed I threw it away and forgot.” You said quietly, moving your way to the table. Your brain wasn’t working properly, hadn’t quite yet come to the conclusion that the rest of the agents already reached. He had gotten into your house. “Oh my god.” You whispered, voice shaking. “He was in my house, wasn’t he?” 

The agents all looked down at you with sympathetic gazes before Emily finally spoke up again. “We can’t be sure just yet, but I need you to look at these photos and tell me if you recognize anything else okay? Can you do that for me?” 

You nodded, making your way over to the table and taking a seat. You were well aware one of the agents just called for Hotch, but you couldn’t be bothered with that right now. 

----

“Hotch,” Derek said, his voice urgent as he rounded the corner, interrupting whatever conversation Hotch was having with a random officer, “Y/N recognized the sweater victim #2 was wearing at the dumpsite as hers. Emily’s showing her the rest of the photos and it’s looking like the unsub left something of hers on each one.” 

That certainly got Hotch’s attention. He didn’t need Derek to fill in the blank, the unsub had been in your house. His fists tightened at his side and he couldn’t help the way his face twisted in anger. In this state, Derek knew better than to question this unusually personal reaction, instead just angling his body back towards the conference room. He didn’t even have a chance to open his mouth before Hotch brushed past him, making his way back to you. 

----

Starting with a photo of victim #1, you very slowly pulled it closer in front of you. Oh my god, her neck. Obviously, you’ve seen bruises before, been on a whole bunch of film sets that used makeup to create some pretty gory pieces, but nothing like this. The unsub didn’t just stangle these women, it was like he wanted to completely crush their throats. 

One of the agents behind you was questioning your ability to stomach this, so you quickly forced yourself to focus. It was the least you could do for these poor women, just give them your undivided attention for ten minutes, and then you could deal with everything else later.

Your finger traced over the bracelet victim #1 was wearing. “This is mine. There’s a singular heart engraved on the back of the third diamond’s plating. I bought it for myself after I got cast in my first big role, cried for weeks when I ‘lost’ it.” 

“And what about this one?” Emily asked, gently pulling victim #1’s photo away from you and replacing it with #4. You didn’t miss the way she turned the photos you’d already looked at upside down, as if to further shield you from them. Nor did you miss that she was technically skipping victim #3. 

It didn’t take you long to notice what was yours on victim #4. “It’s the dress, it’s really comfy, I used to wear it a lot, like a lot a lot. I brought it with me so often on trips I just assumed it got left in a hotel room somewhere.” 

Emily nodded, taking back that photo and turning it over as well. You could see her hesitation in showing you victim #3, but she slid it across the table to you as well. Her fingertips ghosting on the edge of the photo, ready to pull it back as soon as you gave an answer.

Victim #3 was tough. She looked the most like you, both when she was alive and certainly the way she looked now. 

You took a sharp intake of breath as you looked down at her the first thing that caught your eye was the necklace. Most certainly yours and most certainly the one that Aaron had given you for your three year anniversary. You realized it was lost a few months after the breakup and nearly tore your house apart looking for it; you didn’t have many things from your relationship with Aaron to prove he was once part of your life, making the few things you did have all the more important. “The necklace, there’s an A engraved on the back and I’m pretty sure those shoes are mine too.” Emily swept the photo back and out of view as soon as the last words left your lips. 

“JJ, get those items out of evidence immediately so we can be absolutely sure,” Hotch ordered. Aaron. You hadn’t even realized he had walked into the room, you turned to look at him, eyes wide with sadness and fear. The tears that were beginning to form tugged viciously on his heart.  “Miss L/N, my team and I are going to escort you back to your home and we’re going to need to canvas it for signs of entry and identify if anything else is missing. Is that okay?” He asked, his voice soft with something most of the members couldn’t place. 

You simply nodded at that, glad that you wouldn’t have to be alone, “Do you need my address, or will you just follow my car?” There was definitely humor in that, Aaron already knew exactly where you lived and the code to get through the gates. 

“Your address is already in our files, but for your safety we’ll be following close behind.” He assured you. The rest of the team was jumping into action, grabbing their personal belongings along with copious amounts of gloves and bags you assumed would be for potential evidence. 

As you all exited the building and entered your respective vehicles, it was Reid who realized where he’d heard that softness in Hotch’s voice before. It was the same tone he used to use with Hayley, back when things were good. 

----

Your house wasn’t far and it was a drive you knew well; grateful for the ability to somewhat distract yourself on the road. The gatesman to your development gave you a real odd look when you told him the two black SUV’s filled with FBI agents were with you, but you couldn’t care less about which neighbor he might spread that info too. Did you see? L/N brought in the FBI, wonder what she’s caught up in. At least all the neighbors and workers had signed airtight NDAs, no one was allowed to talk to any outsiders about the personal happenings of their fellow residents. 

Your house was towards the top of the hill, with a great overlook to the ocean. You had only been 20 when you bought the house and you viewed it as the ultimate achievement of all your hard work and determination. You couldn't shake the bad taste in your mouth as you pulled up the driveway. The house felt tainted now, something you were never sure you’d be able to shake. 

----

Once again, not exactly how you imagined the entire team entering your house for the first time. Your house was extensive, as were the grounds; the team quickly realized they would probably be here for the rest of the day and well into the night.

You were standing awkwardly in the middle of your foyer, unsure of how to exactly approach this situation. “So, there’s about 10 rooms in the house, not including the kitchen and general living spaces, as well with the basement which is technically one big room. I made maps once as a joke, I think I have some in the office, if you wanted those? Or we could do one big house tour and you can break off that way,” you were so rambling, but them being in your house and why they were in your house was setting in, “or you can just go off however you want-” 

“Miss L/N,” JJ said, there was that nice look again, “why don’t you show me around the house so I can get a base level understanding of everything there is. The rest of my team will go start a basic canvas of the inside and the grounds as well.” Thank you JJ. 

You nodded at this, glad that someone else was taking control of the situation. Before you could lead JJ towards the kitchen, your phone started to ring, startling you. When did you get this skittish? 

“My friend is calling,” you said, holding up your phone, “I gotta take this, I was supposed to meet him for coffee a few minutes ago.” You excused yourself, quickly making your way to an empty room away from the rest of the team. Your friend was annoyed at your more than last minute cancellation, but luckily he didn’t pry too hard and accepted your flimsy “I’m not feeling too well’ excuse on the first go. 

“I know, I’m sorry, but I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as I feel better. Yeah, I love you too. I gotta go, bye.” As you hung up, you could feel a gaze burning into the back of your head. Turning around, you found Aaron staring down at you from the doorway. How long had he been there? 

“You should have told us about your boyfriend sooner. Trying to protect him from questioning will only-”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you exclaimed, a bit too hurriedly, “I, uh, I’m not seeing anyone at all actually, haven’t in a while.” Smooth. 

Aaron was smart enough to read through the lines and understand what you had left unsaid. His gaze didn’t give up, but you could’ve swore you saw relief somewhere in his eyes. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to say something, or if he was supposed to say something, or should you walk out, or- 

“Neither have I.” Hotch’s voice broke through your thoughts, but just as quickly as he said it, he turned on his heel and left you alone in the room.

----

a/n - if anyone is wondering ive 100% cried multiple times at how kind and supportive everyone has been with me about this story. we’re only 2 chapters in but im already sad for it to end. yes i 100% have a bunch of other wip ideas for hotch. anywaaaaaaay, replies/asks/comments/reblogs/likes always appreciated! thank you so much for reading 

Taglist: @mac99martin @iwaizumiee @kylorendrip @hqtchner @lieswithoutfairytales @ssahoodrathotchner @midsummernightdream @weasleylovers @evans-dejong @itsmytimetoodream @yoshigguk @28cnn @cuddlyklaus @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

no permission is given to republish or upload my fics anywhere else. if you see this story not on my tumblr or ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own criminal minds or any of the characters involved

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotchner x reader #hotch #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #'stori writes #in the stars

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Smoke & Mirrors - part 2

Neil x Reader

Chapter 2: What kind of man

(see chapter 1)

summary: the matchmaking trio changes their strategy, and you end up on a sparring mat with Neil

warnings: language and other explicit things, 18+ and I MEAN IT

author’s note:  ...you know what? I don’t want to take any responsibility for where this chapter ended up going. Those characters have mind of their own and at this point I can just write it down and try not to die on the way. (I know it’s far from what we’ve discussed A, but it’s best I could do with what these two had given me, promise to do better next time)

The song for this chapter is Florence + The Machine - “What kind of man”  (changed from “Undisclosed desires”, don’t ask me, I don’t know either)

Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think, please?

___

“...and you really think this is a good idea?” 

“It sure beats yours,” said Ives and took a sip from his cup.

TP huffed and smacked his arm. “Hey, I thought it was our idea!”

“What matters is,” - Wheeler chimed in, fighting a losing battle to hide the annoyance in her voice - “it was a terrible one, and we have to do better if you want them to not get each other killed on the field.”

Ives pondered for a while. When he looked at Wheeler, his eyes were full of concern. “Honestly? This sounds like a recipe for someone getting hurt.”

She kept forgetting how protective he could be over his friend. Although this time, she thought, the one at risk was definitely Neil. 

Wheeler smiled reassuringly. “Trust me, it’s gonna work.”

_________________

There was a certain peace in the emptiness of the HQ’s shooting range in the early morning. It always helped you clear your head - there was no place for emotions while you were holding a gun. And you always knew when to come there to be alone. 

At least up until today.

Just as you finished your routine and grabbed your bag, the door opened and you were greeted by the smirk from under the messy blonde mane. 

Bloody perfect.

A week had passed since the bar encounter, seven long days filled with Neil’s tiresome presence during your work time. If it wasn’t a merged mission of your squads, there were training sessions. The shooting range was your last place free from the walking reminder of your recent failure. 

Not anymore, apparently. 

“Going out already? Too bad, I was hoping to get some tips from you.”

“Aim and pull the trigger. Repeat. It’s really that simple,” you said, shrugging.

The blue eyes narrowed behind yellow-tinted lenses of the safety glasses as Neil sent a forced smile your way. “Never would have guessed,” he deadpanned.

You passed by him, not willing to allow him to get under your skin. But then, just as you were about to exit the room, you stopped and cursed internally at yourself. Closing the door and turning around, you placed your bag quietly on the ground and leaned back against the wall. With your arms crossed, you watched Neil as he prepared his pistol and started the practice. 

You studied his posture, the way he held the gun in his gloved hands, trying to find any weak points in his technical side. There wasn’t too much to improve, his problem with shooting during the missions must have been elsewhere. You briefly glanced over the rolled sleeves of his navy blue shirt and the way his jaw tightened when he checked the target to grade his accuracy. 

“Look at that, you actually can hit a target,” you said and the corner of your lips twitched. “An easy one and not quite lethally but still, I’d call that a progress.”

Neil scoffed and glared at you over the shoulder. “I thought you were done for today.”

The subtle hints of frustration rang in his voice, catching you by surprise. You didn’t know why, but all of the sudden, the satisfaction you felt had a bitter aftertaste. 

You eyed him carefully before speaking again, this time easing up on the mocking tone. Just a bit. “Maybe you just need to train in a more stressful environment.”

A sardonic smile tainted Neil’s lips as he focused on the target again. 

“Keep talking then.”

You snorted, shaking your head as you left the shooting range. 

Fucking hell, he was just infuriating.

_________________

You stared at the bulletin board in disbelief. The new training lineup added one-on-one sparring sessions, and your name was all the way at the bottom of the list, which only meant more late evenings at the headquarters. And as for the choice of your sparring partner-...

With the corner of your eye, you spotted a familiar figure, trying to sneak by you unnoticed. You turned around quickly. “Ives, why do you guys hate me so much?”

He sighed slowly and patted you on the arm. “It’s nothing personal,” he said, his voice almost sincere. But you knew better, and after the crap they’d pulled on you last time, you had every right to be suspicious. 

“You could have picked anyone else for him,” you complained, quite desperate to try anything to avoid spending more time with that blonde pain in the ass.

“I didn’t pick shit,” Ives scoffed. “Besides, it’s just the combat practice, the usual training rotation stays the same.”

“And it’s a coincidence-”

“It’s not,” TP’s voice rang from behind you. “It’s the result of your recent evaluation.”

You stifled a curse. 

_________________

Neil’s brows furrowed in fake concern while he looked you up and down as you kicked off your shoes and stepped on the mat. The fact that you accidentally matched your black tank top and shorts to his black t-shirt and sweatpants didn’t get lost on him.

“What’s with the frown, sweetheart?” he teased. “I thought you might enjoy it, I saw the way you look at me.”

You smacked your lips as you began to stretch your arms and sneered, “Good, so you know how much I want to punch your stupid face.”

Neil kept his features casual, but the taunting sparks in his eyes were saying plenty. 

“I can’t wait to see you try.”

You started circling each other slowly. After seeing him in combat, you knew that you were in his domain. You tapped into all your bottled anger to cover the lack of confidence you suddenly felt in his calm presence. 

“Ground rules?” you asked, putting your guard up.

Neil’s shoulders raised in a slight shrug as he mirrored your pose nonchalantly. 

“Just show me what you got.”

And that’s what you did. 

You always considered your close combat skills adequate. Good enough to let you get out of most of the situations you’d found yourselves into during missions. But after yet another blocked hit, you weren’t so sure about that anymore. 

Meanwhile, Neil was clearly having fun watching you struggle to break through his defense. “You don’t like hand-to-hand combat,” he rather stated the fact than asked as he dodged under swing aimed for his head and lunged forward, tapping your right side to mark the exposed area. 

“If you’re that close, it means I’ve failed to shoot you,” huffing in frustration, you spun around and kicked, missing him just barely. Neil didn’t give you too much time to regain your balance, making you jump out of the way of his flying knee. He flitted around you and grabbed your wrist, twisting it quickly and pressing it to your back, quickly adding your other one there before you could do anything about it. 

“You never let anyone near you, huh?”

A cold shiver ran down your spine as you tried to wriggle your way out. Neil was definitely too close for comfort, both literally and figuratively. “You’re not my therapist, blondie,” you uttered through gritted teeth, taking a sudden step back right into his arms, a change of direction finally allowing you to escape his grasp.

“Thank god, because I feel sorry for them already,” Neil laughed dryly. His eyes narrowed as he watched your mouth open in disbelief at his remark and a shit-eating grin crept on his face. 

You don’t know what pissed you off more - the fact that he was bent on driving you mad, or the sudden realization that the fucker was clearly holding back. It didn’t matter that you were struggling enough with the moderate effort from his side; to you, it was an insult worse than the comment. 

You brushed a sweaty strand of hair from your forehead. “Aren’t you tired?” you snarled, shifting your balance back and forth. The question was vague enough, but from the way his expression changed, you knew he got the hint. The predatory flare in his eyes made the heart race in your chest. 

Neil sprung at you, faking a misstep on the way to throw you off balance. Your senses sharpened enough to predict his next move and you were there to deflect a lightning-quick hit to your abdomen. You returned with a strike at his side but to no luck. Neil ducked under your elbow and closed in on you, giving himself enough momentum to knock you down and pin you to the mat.

The self-satisfied stare just a few inches from your face was making the blood boil in your veins. Cursing internally at both his reach and flexibility, you squirmed under Neil and that only made him press his forearm to your chest even harder, a roguish smile tainting his lips. “See, there’s one thing you need to learn. You need to work smarter, not harder.”

An outraged cry built in your throat as you clenched your hands on his arms, trying to gain any leverage in your position. You glared into the blue eyes, the nauseating hate burning in every cell of your body.

Neil raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Oh no, did I hit a nerve?”

You let out a frustrated groan. Of course, that son of a bitch hit a fucking bullseye. And to make matters worse - he had a point, too. 

Neil spotted a change in your expression a second too late. You swiftly moved your hands and sneaked them under his t-shirt, sliding them up his stomach. His eyes widened as he gasped, reducing the pressure on your chest. That gave you enough room to maneuver, rolling him off you and pinning him with his wrists above his head. 

With your faces again just inches away from each other, both of you panted heavily; a part of you enjoyed Neil’s amused gaze, his mouth slightly open as he tried to level his breath. And then - 

“Good girl. Just like that.”

...fuck.

You didn’t know what exactly made your brain short-circuit. Was it the hoarse voice combined with the praise? The way the blue eyes suddenly got darker? Or both together?

And you didn’t even know how you found yourself underneath Neil again, flipped on your stomach, your hands behind your back. With one cheek pressed against the cold mat, you shivered at the sudden warmth of his uneven breath on your neck. 

A throaty chuckle made your heart skip a bit. “Two can play the game, darling,” he purred as his lips brushed against your ear. 

Your mind went blank again. 

Somehow, you made your way back to the shared locker room.

You leaned your back against the wall, crossing your arms. The tension between the two of you was almost volatile, elevating your heartbeat with every second passed and every step Neil made your way. 

“You’re insufferable.”

You grinned slyly as your eyes flared up. 

“The feeling is mutual, blondie.”

The way his gaze got even darker made your breath hitch. The burning sensation inside of you was something more than hatred now, not caring if you were ready to admit it or not.

He smacked his tongue, a vicious smile dangled in the corner of his lips. 

“You really should stop calling me that.”

The hidden threat in his tone made your mouth dry. You raised a brow and held your breath. 

“Or?”

He closed in on you and grabbed your chin harshly.

“Or I’ll make you.” 

You flashed your teeth and taunted him again. 

“Can’t wait to see you try.”

Neil hummed and moved a pad of his thumb against your lips, making you gasp breathlessly and lose all the resolve you had left. A dry chuckle in response to your expression was enough to haze your mind. You tilted your head as Neil leaned in, drawing his attention just where you wanted him. It took all your willpower not to sigh when he sucked at the skin just below your ear and your fingers raked through blonde hair, pulling Neil even closer. 

His hands roamed your body hungrily while his mouth moved down your neck. When you felt his fingers going up your thigh, you tugged at his t-shirt, and as they moved even higher, your hips bucked involuntarily, so eager to feel him where you needed him the most.

A sharp chuckle against your collarbone as he palmed over the almost completely soaked-through fabric of your shorts sent a bolt of pleasure through your every nerve. You could feel your core pulsing even harder as his long fingers rubbed you just right.

Your hand flew back up and yanked at his hair, making him look at you just before you trailed his jawline with your mouth. Neil groaned and a laugh rattled in your chest. 

You reached for his waistband, but he was faster. Next thing you knew, your shorts and panties were gone and Neil lifted you and pinned you to the wall. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he slid his arm around your lower back. You nearly cried out when he thrust into you mercilessly; instead, you dug your nails into his back and sank your teeth in your bottom lip. As Neil picked up the pace, you clung to him for dear life. The heat radiating from his body carried the musky smell mixed with the almost fade-out scent of his cologne, the combination so intoxicating it made you lightheaded. You felt yourself tighten around him as he ground into you relentlessly, and pathetic whine escaped your mouth. Hearing that, Neil slowed down, almost stopping and you groaned in frustration when you realized what he was doing. 

“I hate you,” you uttered through gritted teeth, panting heavily, rolling your hips, longing for the friction that son of a bitch was purposely denying you.

Neil pulled back enough so you could see the roguish sparks in his eyes accompanied by a mischievous grin. 

“Don’t be so dramatic,” he teased, his voice low and raspy.

You huffed, outraged by the audacity and he laughed, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he picked up where he’d left off. The fire he’d just fueled blazed in your veins, your heart raced in your chest and you felt yourself climbing the peak again. Wrapping your arms around him and pulling yourself closer, you frantically gasped for air and squeezed your eyes shut as you came undone with a loud moan, the pleasure hitting every fiber of your body in violent shockwaves. That was enough to send Neil over the edge, a deep groan escaping his mouth as he came into you, tightening his grasp on you almost painfully. 

At that moment, you were nothing but a trembling mess in his arms. Coming down, you pressed your forehead to his, enjoying the way your breaths intertwined. 

When both of you regained your senses, you pushed him away and picked up your clothes. As you were both decent enough, you glared at Neil.

“This changes nothing,” you said. 

The self-satisfied look in his eyes made you realize your mistake. 

No nickname. 

You cursed internally, but it was already too late. He’d had it his way, in the end. 

Neil’s lips curled in a half-smile.

“How tragic.”

(next chapter ->)

#neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #tenet #robert pattinson #neil tenet fanfiction #tenet fanfiction #the protagonist tenet #ives tenet #wheeler tenet #neil tenet imagine #smoke & mirrors

[rumor-imbris]

Hello, Lady Connor! I want to ask out of unbearable, suffocating curiosity in my heart, even though in the previous post you already said to not mention "that certain comic". Could you please enlighten me about your view on that comic and what you despise about it? I would love to read your detailed thoughts about it even if just once. But if this is too triggering for you, I'm truly sorry for your discomfort and you don't need to answer it.

Hello, dear Anon and welcome ^-^ It's weird you naturally called me Lady Connor, as usually only my little fairy @giuliettaluce does. Well, I guess her magic put a spell on everybody here!!

If you really care to know, I'll answer, but brace yourself, it's going to be very long, almost an essay, because I can be very detailed about that comic being a failure in its every part. There's so much to say. You're right, as I mentioned before, it can trigger me, but I have attentively analized it and I know it makes not a single atom of sense. So nothing can actually bother me that much, don't worry ^_-

First of all, my general consideration of the AC Reflections comic issue #4, (yeah, that thing -.-) is that of a mere attempt to desperately make Bayek's remote vision through Senu's eyes a canon feature. It was created and published in 2017, the same year AC Origins was released and yes, they needed an excuse to make believe Connor's alleged daughter inherited a skill someone (who isn't even their direct ancestor!!) that lived 1700 years ago in ancient Egypt had! OMG, this should be funny enough, but I'll go on. Also, I think it was likely a carelessly arranged way to satisfy those AC3 fans demanding a "happy ending" for unlucky Connor (quite 5 years later, of course).

I'll better go step by step to figure out where to start from, seriously.

1) In the comic, when Otso Berg opens the file related to Connor, the scene is set in "1796: Upstate New York." Now this is chronologically and spacially incoherent and illogical. We see Connor still wears his assassin outfit in it, right? According to AC Initiates (2012) in 1804 Connor invites the Dominican assassin Eseosa at the Davenport homestead to provide him some advices and further training as he's involved in the leading of the Haitian Revolution. That's a really cool character, read about him, if you want!

So, until then Connor is still an assassin, probably the mentor (by now) of the Colonial Brotherhood. He still runs the homestead and he still commands the Aquila, I guess, he's the captain still. I calculated the distance between the homestead and the then upper NY frontier territories is approximately 260 miles (quite far nowadays with cars and planes as well). Then, why the hell should he have a family located in the forest upstate NY? It sounds very unconfortable to run back and forth to reach them and go back to take care of all the Brotherhood matters, doesn't it? Unless he knew about teleportation!!! Also, wow, he lives all alone in a nice massive villa with all the comforts of that time while his children and wife still live in a Native village constantly menaced by settlers wanting to steal their land? Beside the fact that Connor, at least in my point of view, seemed at last very familiar with european way of living by the end of the game, this leads us to the next point.

2) By the time the game and the comic are set (second half of 18th century), most of the East Coast Native tribes were facing the tragic and forced migration to western and northern territories (mostly towards Canada, protected by the British) because of all the consequences of the Revolutionary War (lost territories, failed alliances, settlers advancing and buying their lands and so on). So tells us history, unfortunately. It's a fact. And this is wisely showed to us in the AC3 main game when, after all the Kanien'kehá:ka tribes had left the territory around Connor's village (yes, even those near New York, to be clear) even Connor's own tribe at last migrates west, leaving an empty ghost village. They had remained all along to protect the secret temple, but in the end they as well were forced to leave. So, to me it's highly improbable that in upstate NY, one could still find a tribe and even if so, that Connor would let his family live there and risk their safety everyday.

3) The whole comic plot revolves around the fact that Io:nhiòte has a "special gift"... She inexplicably knows how to read the ground and find animal traces, she also can perform a perfect twisted acrobatic flip in the air and land unharmed to the ground. Do we know why? No, don't ask! xD She simply knows U.U, even if right after the next scene she slips and falls miserably down a cliff xD, but... ok!! Beside that, when Connor is far away to search for some water and is about to be attacked by a wolf hidden in the grass nearby, she sees the whole scene from the eyes of an eagle flying in the sky above her. As I said before, this reminds us of Bayek's (never clearly explained) ability to see through his eagle Senu's eyes and spot dangers and enemies. Now can you tell me why the hell this little girl has super powers and a skill Bayek had? As I said, they are not even directely related, as Bayek is not one of Desmond Miles' ancestor, we know him simply because Layla's new Animus is magical and can inexplicably read fragmented DNA from people who died a thousand years ago (it can also prepair coffee, I think!). So, where did she get that from? Magic? Mysteries of life? Convenient improbable connections for marketing's sake? We'll never know and you should simply accept that and ask no question!

4) From her height, way of speaking/moving/running, I assume Io:nhiòte is at least 8 years old, 8 - 9 minimum. She's the youngest of three siblings, who must be at least two years older than her and than each other (according to a human woman pregnancy timing!). If the comic events are set 12 years after the main game ending (1784, when Connor also starts to train the young ex-slave Patience Gibbs, arriving at the Davenport homestead with Aveline De Grandpré, according to AC IV Black Flag bonus mission with Aveline), so, this means that in that same year Connor must have found hastily the love of his life in a Native village (as if he was easy to open himself with other people after all he's been through), married her, impregnated her and seen her give birth to their first child, all in the same year when (let's not foget! xD) he still is the leader of the Colonial Assassin Brotherhood at the Davenport homestead training novices. Now, this may even be possible humanly speaking, (well, if you force the things a bit and hurry up!) but highly unlikely to happen!! xD

These are the main problems affecting the logic of the comic in my opinion, the points making its foundations crumble apart. Though I'm sure there are many little others to point out, such as Otso Berg "opening" Connor's files... like what? Where did those data come out from? I remember playing AC IV Black Flag and uncovering a file where Abstergo researchers themselves closed access to his memories as there was "nothing appealing to this character anymore"! So, if no more researches were conducted on him since 2013, where did Mr Berg magically or conveniently discovered such data in 2017?

Or... do we want to talk about the cover? It shows Connor in the spirit outfit from the Tyranny of King Washington DLC, which has apparently nothing to do with the comic, since it is set in his present day and he wears his assassin standard robe. Now, I think that can be either a simple marketing choice to make the comic more appealing, as... well, that cover is so cool, let's admit that, or maybe the subtle suggestion that the events told in it are just a parallel Disney-like reality and are not to be considered true at all! xD i don't know, maybe both explanations are right.

I'm sure that the deeper i dig, the more nothing rational I'll find!

If you played the old games, if you know well the franchise and its lore, the true, good, old AC lore, you definitely realize by yourself how that comic is useless and senseless.

This doesn't mean I do not wish an "happy ending" for Connor. But I'd rather accept something coherent with the main game events and AC chronology. Also, it doesn't necessarily needs to be a "happy" ending, as they conveniently created to please complaining fans. I wished for something real... coherent with his personality, acquired life-style and endless sense of duty and values.

Maybe that's what pushed me to write my FanFic novel in the first place, after all... To give him MY OWN cohesive ending, including my love, for love is always needed, I guess.

I'm so sorry if the answer took this long in time and words, but you were warned! ^w^

Though, thank you... Seriously, thank you so much for asking. You made me reflect once more about this matter.

Come visit me again, if you want. Take care

- Rumor Imbris 🦋

P.S. Oh, and if you're interested, this is my "jelousy song", for when things like this trigger my inner witch!! xD

#ask #ask me anything #I Am the Storm!!!! #AC3 Reflections #why it sucks #why it makes no sense #thanks for asking #anon ask

[words-for-holland]

Happier (9) | T.H

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Y/N & Tom seem to be in the process of rebuilding their relationship. Natalie is up to no good. How much more can Y/N & Tom take?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

Masterlist

A/N: Ive been reading all your responses lately and I appreciate them so much! Im so glad you’re all still on this crazy dramatic ride! Thank you so much for reading and supporting!

Spontaneity

There are certain moments in your life where things go according to plan, and others when they dont...but those are the best kinds. The moments that happen because it feels right and everything just falls into place. After all, everything happens for a reason.

It had been three weeks since Tom and Y/N had their heart to heart, promising to find Unknown together along with Harrison and Harry. While there were no threats taking place, one could never be too careful. The more they waited, the more vulnerable they became, letting down their guard ever so slightly.

Everyone kept a close eye on Natalie, but she convinced them enough to think she was on their side and the PR had nothing to do with Unknown. Show the boys one made up threat message from Unknown and you gained most of their trust. Tom had asked Natalie to stop the PR for the sake of mending his broken relationship with Y/N. She told him that her and her publicist agreed to put it on hold...but kept no promise of stopping it forever.

Natalie’s mother was getting furious, not happy with how her daughter handled the situation. “I told you to keep Y/N away, you insolent girl. You are ruining everything and your chance with Tom.”, she spat through the phone.

Natalie listened to her mother’s rant, rolling her eyes. “Relax mother.” She says sourily. “This is just the beginning. Y/N wont know what hit her and after this...She’s going to wish she never came back to London.” She hangs up the phone smirking as she goes through fan accounts that continued to spark the PR flame.

Meanwhile as the three weeks passed Tom & Y/N had slowly rebuilt their relationship. Occasional glances and banters left their tongue, subtle compliments were thrown out, and it almost seemed as if things would be back just the way they were. Even more so, one day in the kitchen. Y/N was making dinner the for the group as she took the time to cut the asparagus and broccoli. Tom passed by her, as he saw her lose herself in the soft music playing in the background, singing to herself all while still being focused on the food.

He leaned against the doorway and continued to observe her, admiring how cute she looked with her hair up and how sweet her voice sounded with the music. It almost made him think why she didn’t pursue a career in music instead of business. “Wow.” Tom muttered under his breath.

His voice must have been too loud, since Y/N looked up startled, but all the more happy to see the man she once loved..and still does deep down. “Oh..I didn’t see you there.” She giggles. “Don’t worry I’ll stop singing in the kitchen. I know how you guys are when I get into it.”

Tom quickly shook his head as he came closer to her, smiling back. “No. You don’t have to. I think your voice sounds lovely. I mean the kitchen’s got great acoustics.” He laughs nervously. Tom can’t remember the last time he felt so nervous with her, but in the good type of nervous. The type of feeling, one gets when they’re in front of their crush and all the butterlies in their stomach start fluttering. “You just sound and look so beautiful.” He admits, sheepishly.

“Thomas Stanley Holland are you trying to flirt with me?” She asks amused at his attempt pointing the knife at him from a safe distance.

“Am not.” He dramatically answers. “I can’t compliment a friend, who happens to be really beautiful.” Y/N shies away hiding her face, by looking down at the cutting board. “I mean it. I really do think you’re beautiful, even if you dont think like that.”

“Well..I’m definitely no model or Natalie, since the people say you both are London’s to die for couple.” She says bitterly.

Tom rolls his eyes as he takes her hand. “Hey..I told you we stopped it for now and Natalie agreed. You know, I get that we all have our suspicions of her after everything, but she said and proved she was a victim herself. Plus Unknown’s been quiet for the past three weeks.” Y/N scoffs at his defense for Natalie as she heads to the stove with Tom following right behind her. He taps on her should as she reluctantly turns to look at him. “I am only ever going to have feelings for you.” Tom confesses. In this moment their faces are inches apart, eyes are slowing moving down to their lips and back up to their eyes, breaths slowing, and just when it seemed like everything would fall into place, both quickly turn away clearing their throats

Y/N calms her heartbeat as she stirs the pasta while Tom helps stir the sauce. The room was quiet only the sound of bubbling from the pots filling the room. It only took five seconds before they both turned back to each other quickly connecting their lips. The fever and the passion increasing rapidly with every touch and pull. The warmth coming from their breaths and the tingling feeling everytime their lips touched. It was like coming back from an addicition you had quit for so long but craved every single time. They couldn’t stop no matter how wrong this was right now, but it felt so right so spontaneous, so in the moment.

Tom quickly signaled her to jump and did as she told, wrapping her legs around his toned torso, cupping her hands under his jaw. He pushed her back against the kitchen wall, as he slow let on of his hands linger under her shirt. It may have been months apart, but both knew exactly what the other needed and how to handle it. Almost as if it were instinctive. They were in complete bliss, forgetting the world around them. Until, the pasta water started overflowing on the stove.

Y/N opened her eyes and quickly pushed Tom away. “Shit. The food.” She yells out, jumping from Tom’s embrace. Both of them tried to calm their heart rate and Tom stood their watching Y/N, smiling at what had just happened. For once he had his girl back, and everything felt normal. Y/N looks at him, giggling. “What?” She asks.

“Nothing.” He replies, grinning like a little boy. “I’ve waited to do that for so long.”

Y/N blushes at his statement, as she sets up the table with the food. “Come on. It’s time to eat.”

Life seemed surreal after her encounter with Tom. Y/N told herself that it was a one time thing until they found Unknown. She didnt want to put anyone at risk especially both her’s and Tom’s heart. But everytime she told herself, the more she got lost in Tom. Every stolen moment, stolen kisses, stolen touch...he always had a way of making her forget. So while she vowed to herself that it would stop, her heart simply couldn’t. Tom was right, there was no PR, no text messages, no insane fan account rumor. Natalie hadn’t even bothered either of them, always focused on her own thing, and truthfully seemed a lot nicer when she came forth about being a victim of Unknown. The questions came to Y/N’s mind. Why should she have to live in fear? Why not just live in the moment?

It was a slow night. Harrison had spent the weekend at his mother’s while Harry did the same. Tom and Y/N were the only ones that roamed aroundthe house. While Natalie spent her time contemplating everything. Her initial plan to crush Y/N when she least expected was approaching ever so quickly after all the time it took to set up. Within that time, she had gotten to know Y/N and Tom even more so a part from the hatred and the jealousy. For a second...just a second, she considered not to follow through. But her mother’s words and the thought of losing her chances with Tom overtook her the moment she saw the two fall in love all over again. Her suspicions only became worse when she recirved a text from her mother.

Unknown

Just remember, your acting career and your dreams depend on Tom. If you want Tom to choose you, you better get rid of the girl stealing your chances.

Filled with worry, Natalie quickly grabbed her things and made her way out the door.

Meanwhile, Tom and Y/N continued to spend time in each others arms everywhere they went in the house. They settled on the couch, Tom’s stong hands wrapping around her torso as Y/N curled herself into Tom. “I wish we could stay like this forever.” She whispers to him.

Tom hums at the idea, smiling wide. “Me too.” He brings her soft lips to his, letting them linger for a couple seconds more. “Do you really enjoy staying in the guest room?” Tom asks.

Y/N looks up at him, with curious eyes. “I mean yeah it’s okay. Why?”

Tom takes a deep breath before asking, “Well...I was uh wondering, if you didn’t like it as much there, you could..maybe stay with me...again.” He suggested muttering the last word. Tom smiled nervously, as he observes Y/N’s emotions. She was calm like the sea before a storm.

Y/N smiles at his offer, but shakes her head. “Mmm..it’s okay. Im fine where I am, but thank you for the generous offer.” She responds, placing a small kiss on his cheek.

“Yeah...I guess I should have seen that coming.” Tom admits, his face showing signs of disappointment.

Y/N pouts her lips, and lifts her small hand to move a piece of his hair. “Hey..believe me. I want to but nows the not the time..at least not yet. One day, I promise.” She whispers leaving a chaste kiss on his lips. “C’mon we got another day tomorrow. I’m gonna head into my room for a bit.”

“I’ll come up later just wanna make a call to Harrison.” Tom replies. Y/N looks at him and smiles as she nods and heads back up to her room.

As the night came to an end, Y/N took the time to unwind with a book in hand when her phone went off. Her face dropped when she saw the messages.

Pictures of Natalie out and about wearing Tom’s clothes and jewlery, smiling into the sun and enjoying her day out with friends. Gossips left and right from fans and media, talking about how adorable it was that Natalie was the type of girlfriend to steal her boyfriends clothes because it looks cuter on her. Y/N knew deep down it wasn’t true but the words and pictures taunted her. Slowly and surely, she started to get mad, furious that Natalie would start the flame again out of nowhere when she promised Tom they would stopped. Another message popped up for Y/N, and it was from someone she so willingly prayed it wouldnt be who she thought.

Unknown

Doesn’t she look cute in his clothes. Probably better than you ever could. BTW..where is lover boy? 😉

Y/N throws her phone against the wall, pissed more than ever. She should have known this was going to happen. Y/N contemplated the message, she wondered what the text meant. After all Unknown seeemed to know more about everyone here better than they knew themselves. Y/N slowly went downstairs only to hear whispering coming from the kitchen. She couldn’t make out the exact words but she could identify the voice. It was Tom and Natalie? She took a peak at the kitchen where the two stood facing each other. Y/N couldn’t make out Tom’s face but she could see Natalie’s very clearly. “Kiss me.” Natalie whispers, as she quickly places her lips on Tom’s cradling his neck, but Tom didn’t stop. The moment his eyes opened up to see Y/N’s he pushed Natalie off with all his might.

Y/N standing there in shock and sadness. Her eyes tearing up, her breaths shortening. She shakes her head, as she replays the disturbing image in her mind. “Y/N... it’s not what it looks like.” Tom quickly defends, trying to reach for Y/N as she steps back. Natalie observing the two, a slight smirk forming across her face. “I swear it was for the PR and movie.” He yells out, trying to chase her.

Y/N whips back as she faces Tom, the angriest she has ever been with him. “Who are you putting a show for in this house? Me? Because I sure as hell didn’t fucking like it one bit. I should have known better.” She spits out, heading up the stairs with Tom following.

“Y/N..please. It didn’t mean anything. I swear. I was put in a compromising position. Please listen to me.” Tom pleads. The door to her room is shut locked, but he stays there waiting and knocking at the door. “Y/N. Don’t do this. Dont walk away. Please just let me explain. You know what we have is special and the moment at the kitchen and everything this past month...”

“Was ruined and a complete and utter mistake. Leave me alone and I swear Tom you even try to get near me I will make sure you never see the light of day. I should have fucking stayed back.” Y/N yells out, sobbing against the door. It was a nightmare, and this time she couldn’t get out. She sat there now realizing, her heart had broken completely for the second time.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs @joyleenl @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @viwihere @marvelobsessedteenager @panicattheeverywherekid @oswinO5 @jillanaholland

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

[letteredlettered]

hi! ive been following your writing for a few years now and i drop by periodically to check if you have anything new posted, and im really surprised that you seem to be enjoying the untamed? im curious what you think about the show - its story and characters, the acting, the production, etc. idk if you know, but the untamed is the most successful example of a current trend in chinese entertainment, where popular online novels centered around a gay romance is adapted into a 'safe' drama.

continued:

due to the many explicit and implicit restrictions imposed on creative media in china, many crucial plot points have to be changed (often badly) or removed, including the nature of the relationship between the main characters. the untamed is considered the most loyal adaptation so far, but like all other works in the genre, it received criticism for weak acting and queerbaiting. that's why im really curious about what you think of the show as it is, as itself, free from its context.

if you're interested, you could also check out guardian! it features much better performance and chemistry by the leads imo, but the story was heavily botched bc the original incorporates and reinvents a lot of classic chinese folklore beautifully and stuff like that is considered disrespectful and not-pc. i think it's really sad how so many great pieces of writing with complex world-building and plotlines are simplified into... idek what to call them, but just, less than what they are.

im sorry this turned into a rant. as a mainland chinese person with oh so many frustrations about our current society, it's hard to comprehensively describe my feelings about the untamed's popularity. it's the first mainland chinese show/movie to gain this much organic interest abroad so i should be glad? but, but. anyway, yes, im sorry.

There’s no need to apologize for ranting, but I admit to some confusion as to whether you want your question addressed or the rant. Because I’m me and tend to be thorough, I’ll address everything, in reverse order.

First of all, I’m sorry that this show is sad to you. I’m sorry that the popularity of it is difficult. I’m also deeply sympathetic to your frustrations about your society, as I too am deeply frustrated by my own.

Secondly, yes, I’m aware of the context of The Untamed. I’m aware that the book it’s based on is a BL novel, and that, in order to align with Chinese politics, overt queerness was erased from the adaptation. I’m aware of the censure laws of gay media in China. I’m also aware that some aspects of necromancy and morality were adjusted to make the show more palatable for general audiences, but I’m fuzzier on those details. Lastly, I’m aware that the popularity of the show calls attention to certain things, such as fanfic, and that attention results in more censorship,

The fact of this erasure and this censure provokes a lot of questions: by consuming this product, which contains erasure and censure, do we engage in the erasure and censure? By posting gifs and writing fanfic and talking about this product, do we increase its popularity, thereby encouraging additional erasure and censure? By increasing the popularity of this product, do we diminish the popularity of the original gay morally gray canon, thereby decreasing representation? Do we discourage other authors in China from writing explicitly gay morally gray material? In short, are we allowed to enjoy this media?

I don’t know the answer to these questions. However, I do know that boycott is a very effective tool when it can inflict economic pain on the producer, or when it can exert pressure on an entity to change. That said, I feel like a lot of the calls to boycott certain media these days are a lot like telling people to stop driving their cars to stop climate change: it’s suggesting that individuals can solve the problem, which presupposes individuals are the problem, and therefore fails to address the scope of the problem, or present the possibility of a real solution. Not watching The Untamed isn’t going to change laws about portrayals of homosexuality onscreen in China, partly because the laws in China are a much bigger problem.

The other part of it is that The Untamed is coded queer, so if you run a successful boycott against it, you end up with . . . less queer TV. I know a whole lot less about China than I do about the Hays Code, but if you had told gay people during the Golden Age of Hollywood that they couldn’t enjoy movies that were coded queer because they weren’t explicitly queer, they’d have said you were crazy. In fact, many people will tell you that media that was coded queer was a big reason we got more explicit queer stuff later. And as I’m sure you’re aware, the US is still fighting that battle . . . partly because it wants to sell movies to China.

So then there’s a question about whether me, an American in the US, liking something coded queer from China but not explicitly queer--does that encourage Chinese censorship? Should I only support texts that are explicitly queer? But the answer is the same--it’s not addressing the scope of the problem, and by supporting texts that are coded queer, you could be paving the way in the future for something brighter.

But you weren’t talking about boycott! You were talking about your discomfort with the popularity with this show, which I accept. I understand feeling uncomfortable. I can only hope it makes you a bit more comfortable to know that plenty of fans are deeply aware of the context and do wrestle with the question of what liking this show means in the context of a society that would never allow aspects of the original to be portrayed onscreen.

Thirdly, I’m not against trying Guardian at some point, but by comparing the acting and chemistry of the leads to The Untamed, I feel like you prove our tastes are very different in these regards. I love the acting of the leads in The Untamed; I found their chemistry off the charts. It’s okay you don’t feel the same.

Lastly, you asked my opinion of The Untamed: its story and characters, the acting, the production, sans context of the canon upon which its based and censorship laws in China.

a. I love the overall story, but the plot has deep plot holes. Quite a few segments do not actually make sense to me, because the plot is so haywire. However, I’ve never cared that much about plot, except when it gets in the way of characters and themes, and for the most part, this plot serves its characters and themes, except when the parts they leave out are so confusing that I cannot follow the story. As for the story, it feels like it’s built for me, because ultimately it’s about moral decisions and how to make them; it’s about guilt and paying for mistakes; it’s about learning, changing your mind, and remaking yourself. Really, I’m not sure there are many stories I love more--except they killed my favorite character, and I almost quit. So, that certainly put a damper on things.

b. I love the characters most of all, although the villains are really two-dimensional. However, large parts of the plot are not Hero vs Villain, they’re Hero vs Society, and then some Hero vs Himself in a way that suggests the Hero is no longer a hero. I could talk about the characters forever, but suffice it to say I think they’re really strong. Also, the relationships are really exquisite, particularly when it comes to family dynamics. Unfortunately, they killed my favorite character off. Also unfortunately, there are six women in this show, only two of them are main characters, and every single one of them dies. It disgusts me.

c. I think the two leads are exceptional, in particular Xiao Zhan . . . when he’s not being too broad, which he is quite a bit. However, I do wonder how much of this is direction and production style, because in many instances, he’s quite subtle, and the choices he makes are astounding. Then there are times where it’s like they needed more footage, or wanted to drive home a point, and he turns on the extra, and it’s awful. It could just be him, but I actually feel it’s the case with most of the actors, which does make me think it’s a directing issue. Meng Ziyi never really has that problem though, because she is the most perfect of all. But then take He Peng, who I actually thought could be incredible, but every scene was just SO BROAD that I began to feel sorry for the poor dude having to act that part. But there is nothing to be said for Wang Zhuo Cheng, who really is just terrible, which is sad, because it’s a great part.

d. Production-wise, it’s really hit and miss. So much of the locations are truly beautiful. A lot of the costumes are too, unless the shot is too close. I actually don’t mind the wigs; I love the long hair. The CGI is terrible. And then while a lot of the shots are beautiful, some of them are awkward, and the pacing is really difficult, imo. It really seems like they wanted to drag it out, and there are so, so many scenes where I’m sort of embarrassed that we’re in the same scene or that we’re still looking at someone’s face, or that everyone is just standing there waiting for the shot to finally end.

I will say that film is a language that does differ from culture to culture. It could be that both the broadness of the acting and the awkwardness of the editing are my cultural lens based on American and a lot of western film. When I watched older Hollywood films, the acting is a lot more broad and maybe a little less “true” feeling, but I understand that it’s not the case everyone in the past was a bad actor. It was just a different style, so I’m not sure I’m equipped with the cultural knowledge of Chinese acting, cinematography, and editing to be able to really judge the value of these things.

I do know how I feel, which is that the editing is the biggest hurdle for me while watching the show. However, I feel that the beauty of it makes up for a lot, and the strength of the characters and themes really carries it.

I hope I addressed your points adequately, and I wish you well.

#Anonymous #the untamed #china

[zed-36]

basis for the evil!taro au <3

bouta have top surgery next week and all i can think about is evil taro so here we are.

the gist of it: based off the minor interactions had with gelorum/the drones- from the moment taro entered the drone realm on accident he was infected during the incident by the drones, giving gelorum easy access to taro on a mental level- thus explaining some of the weird time he had in the ice realm. turns into full blown “evil” taro based lightly off a dream i had, and while i would say it redoes numerous parts of the existing story, it mostly is based off what happens after the cliff hanger in the series.

the one thing i wanted to get figured out is what is evil taro’s drive for being evil??? well, it got me invested on the Why’s of my dream’s aesthetics first... because in my dream taro eventually took on a similar appearance to gelorum with the facial markings and stuff. so my idea is that its not 100% taro’s own personal drive to be evil. but instead, hes being partially controlled/manipulated to thinking these ideas are his own and he agrees with them. but lets go over the incidents in canon that get altered to affect this-

first off- it starts the moment he accidentally went to the drone realm. in my head i actually prefer the idea of him getting trapped there for a bit longer (which was gonna happen in my dropped fic from a while back) and in that case while he is seemingly unharmed, has been unknowingly infected w a sorta device/chip that has connected him to the drone hivemind.

which is another thing- ive had ideas about a drone ‘hivemind’ sorta thing gelorum and all the drones are a part of- its actually a virtual dimension the Accelerons created to manage the code and AI or the drones, but its been manipulated into Gelorum’s own hivemind. as i said “virtual reality dimension”, it is a place. those with the right tools (from the accelerons) or with a connection to gelorum’s AI/hivemind, are there. for someone like taro or a drone is present in reality, but is also present in the vr world on a mental level.

so taro is normal for some time, but hes being fed ideas and thoughts on a small scale that influence his personality a bit. it drives him away from teku friendships and starts an urge to be more of a vocal leader when he doesnt like what MM does. and hey, its hard to disagree with taro... hes a great racer, hes smart, and when the quiet cool guy starts to speak up people tend to listen. still, things are normal enough... until gelorum decides she needs to step it up in the ice realm and directly tap into him fully. at this point taro’s found confidence in his minor changes but gelorum saying hey bitch i own u isnt the most fun thing regardless... still, with this connection shes able to communicate with him and basically voices all kinds of concerns about tezla- i mean, the guy is sketchy as hell and she knows things the main characters dont. taro was not ever a fan of tezla, he wasnt ever doing this race for him and hed been suspicious of him from the start, so its really not hard for taro to decide on his own accord that he doesnt exactly want to keep doing this for tezla anymore... gelorum has an easy time convincing him considering all the extra dirt she has about him and the silencerz.

i would love to write this in fanfic form... and i wont go into crazy detail due to that potential- but id imagine from the ice realm moment to the cliffhanger, there is a subtle but slow change in taro becoming the head figure in MM. the conflicts of canon between MM and teku are loosely forgotten as other issues arise in conflict with taro’s own interest, starting to pit them more against tezla and teku than anything else. past the cliffhanger, the characters’ teams breaking down walls, they regroup- but this is when Taro really becomes leader. with the teams in pieces and tension still lingering from their suspicions for tezla, taro reforms a team but only with those who plan to follow what is “right” he doesnt want to focus on vert, he wants to go straight to tezla and solve the mystery of the accelerons. so, those who are more towards simply helping vert above all dont join taro, and those who agree that tezla is the key problem with his manipulation and secrecy join Taro. both get split up and renamed- Rippers in honor of Vert and Taro reclaiming the old name Scorchers. in the end taro is fighting a conflict of two things- hes following “himself” but that self isnt really who he is, and the conflict that he is merely following the plan gelorum lays out for him. in the end he will not realize how he’s fallen right into her trap and as he does he will fully agree with it because hes swapped sides so long ago. 

note on my dream’s interesting take on taro’s appearance: i think perhaps it would be neat is the more he started to follow the path of gelorum, the more it awakened the drone chip inside him. it could be a further point to accepting his situation, realizing he’ll be harder to stop because hes gained the knowledge of drones and their perfect racing.... but also a fun inner conflict for the moments of clarity.

i have some other specific relations in mind like that of kadeem and marky due to their drone related moments... there is a lot to explore with it and im not sure if itll just live in my head rent free or not lol. but feel free to send asks about it!

#taro kitano #au #Hot Wheels World Race #hot wheels acceleracers #hot wheels #text

[tendoki]

yesss you write for the loml tendou 🥺 but could you write something where tendou s/o gets jealous and is kinda in a sour mood the whole day but after when he peeps she jealous he comforts her 🥺🥺

GREEN EYED MONSTER - pt 1

┏━━━━━━•❅•°•❈•°•❅•━━━━━━┓

🥺 i decided to do this in 2 parts! i hope you like it! the last time i wrote something like this was a villain y/n fic for mha so it was a bit weird writing something a bit tamer lol. i tried not to make the girl flirting with Tendou too unlikeable, but i dunno how well ive done with that? there is gonna be a part two! hope you enjoy :)

Please let me know what i can do to improve!! i need critiscm to grow :((

┗━━━━━━•❅•°•❈•°•❅•━━━━━━┛

TENDOU SATORI

-> genre: mild angst

-> warnings: jealousy, very very mild mentions of violence(?), dark thoughts (could be considered intrusive? not sure)

edited, let me know if you see any mistakes though :)

PART 2

You never had been very subtle. Though not an open book, you had always thought it was simply more polite to keep your grievances to yourself, more appropriate to leave your thoughts for those that asked to hear them.

But you were beginning to lose your patience.

After the match against Karasuno, and your schools consequent defeat, things had been different at Shiratorizawa. Not enough that it shook you to your core, but certainly concerning. A new person had entered the wolves (or eagles?) den that was the gym, and they had plopped themselves right in the middle of it, snuggling up as close as your boyfriend would let them.

The two of you had spoken in passing, and really, there wasnt anything to be worried about. The girl was a newly transferred first year, what she felt for your boyfriend was just puppy love, something sure to pass when the next guy piques her interest. This didnt stop you from watching her though, during the match, you had seen how the aspiring manager had gawked at Tendou, and while part of you felt proud, a deeper, uglier side of your psyche seemed to activate.

「you're the only one who should be looking at him like that, she has no business openly drooling over sold meat.」

You brushed it off, of course; scolding yourself for thinking of him so possessively. You had always prided yourself on your ability to adapt, and if this kids fleeting crush on your Tendou, was something you had to adjust to, then you'd do just that.

That was of course, before the match had ended.

A flash of fabric and a squeal was the only warning you got, before she had pulled him into a hug.

You were fine. The minor jealousy over this stupid little phase your kouhai had found herself indulging in was immature, and hopefully, not noticeable in the slightest.

But, as previously stated, you never were one for subtelty.

You knew your boyfriend wasn't to blame for how... affectionate the girl was, but seeing someone else's arms wrapped around his waist, watching as she burrowed into your Tendou's chest; something dark stirred within you.

「you could do something about this, you know? you could march over there, teach her a lesson if you really wanted. isnt it killing you? it only takes a few seconds, grab her by the collar and pull her away. reclaim what's yours, remark your territory.」

You had no control over how dark your gaze had gotten, you were ignorant to the silence encasing the gym. Your focus was stuck on the sight of him, with her. He was looking at you, a wide-eyed, tense. He was uncomfortable with her, scared to push her away but unwilling to reciprocate.

Calmly, you stood, laying your notebook where you had sat; and walked out, telling the team, your team, the voice seemed to taunt, that you were heading off early. It seemed your wonderful guest had taken notice of her own behaviour and its implications, as you heard her voice rushing to apologise for hugging him so suddenly.

「that's not what she sounded like when you were talking to her. shes putting it on to sound cute for Tendou, what if he's falling for it?」

You don't bother responding to those thoughts as you pull out your earphones and begin blast whatever nonsense your shaking fingers could tap first.

After you had left, the whole volleyball team had shared a look of 'Fuck'. The girl, stuttering out apologies with batting lashes didnt seem to pick up on the tension in the room; not noticing the dilemma she had inadvertently put the object of her affections in.

Tendou had no idea what he should do in this situation. He had been shocked enough when you had confessed to him, the idea of two girls being interested in him at the same time was something unfathomable. Clearing his throat uncomfortably, he spoke,

"It's uh, fine. Practice is usually done around now so you can uh, start packing up and making your way home, right?"

His junior pouted at this, shyly admitting that, "actually, I was sorta hoping we could walk together". She was embarrassed, shifting her weight between her feet, and Tendou was cringing. Before he could respond, Ushijima stepped in, telling the girl to leave and that they would consider her application of assistant manager.

Before she left, Tendou watched as she tore out a corner of your notebook, writing her number and handing it to the frozen male. No words were spoken of what just occurred, the whole team sharing bewildered stares, eyes darting back and forth from the slip of paper, to Tendou, to your abandoned managerial notebook.

When Tendou got home that night, he thought about messaging you, or calling to check up on how you were doing. You had never been a particularly jealous partner, he had friends and you had your own, generally, you were fairly accepting and cool with most attention your boyfriend would receive. But everyone had a limit, and he saw how you had hit yours, it wasnt something he could blame you for, his own history with jealousy taught him that it was an awful, invasive feeling, and the fact that you had left as to avoid confrontation with a girl you knew had no chance 'stealing' from you, was commendable.

School the next day was a ride.

#tendou satori x reader #tendou satori fluff #tendou satori #tendou angst #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #fanfic #hq fanfic #x reader

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

I posted 30,648 times in 2022

That's 2,423 more posts than 2021!

378 posts created (1%)

30,270 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@stop-pressing-e

@the-other-jugs

@cutiebooties-and-cumberbatch

@fucking-straight

@stupid-lemon-eater

I tagged 378 of my posts in 2022

#youtube - 110 posts

#vox machina - 17 posts

#apex legends - 12 posts

#lmao - 7 posts

#mood - 6 posts

#yes - 4 posts

#pokemon go - 3 posts

#caustic - 3 posts

#apex - 3 posts

#lmaoooo - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#like... i think thee'd have to be thunderbolts raining down as i flipped off the sky to motivate me to even consider... how i would tell th

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

you know, in almost every horror movie ive seen where the premise is that the whole family/community are cannibals and th3ey just have whole rooms for bodies to be hanging about in different pieces

like...99% of the movies just have it in some filthy shed or room covered in old blood and mold, with flies and meat hanging up sans refrigeration

like how has the whole ass cmmunity or family not died from rotten meat? from salmonella? half the time they don't even clean the bodies before they kill them so they're caked in mud

pretty sure humans have weird shit that lives on our skin just chilling and waiting for a cut or microtear to get inside and cause chaos

you would think an entire household or town dedicated to luring tourists and murdering them for meat would have discovered a more efficient and food safe way to do it.

not to MENTION like how does this happen? you go to a town meeting one day and on the ballot is a) lowering the speed limit around the school, b) funding the community garden restoration, and c) becoming a covert murder factory for fun, food and frivolity...

Things that would make more sense than a hotel that traps people: a SPA

the people coming in are usually the health-conscious type, they have some form of bath or soak throughout the process, they're relaxed, and you could put paralytics in the facemasks or something

not to mention, most rural towns (where this shit is usually set?) have butchers and mobile butchers at that with their own set up and clean room type equipment. there's heaps in our area. Wouldn't it be less suspicious to have them turn up, grab the bodies and transport them to another area for dismemberment? People are used to mobile butchers doing this sort of thing with cowsa, pigs, goats, etc. Plus they'd at least have clean equipment and less chance of unsanitary items used for the dispersement of meat etc.

The butcher shop would be the first place you'd think of for cold storage, but what about the freezers in the local supermarket? Assuming there's a walk-in and everyone's on board so the new people in town won't squeal to anyone.

The local ice cream truck or shop? Maybe?

If it's small enough the pub might have one of those converted shipping containers out back that's now a giant freezer.

Not sure how they'd store it, but like there has to be a better premise for the horror of the movie than 'opened fridge in dirty house to find a head or fingers'.

I think you could absolutely pull a subtle horror story out of this, and they could legit gaslight the tourists (only taking specific ones) by advertising the hotel as haunted.

you KNOW that people will already be on edge thinking they might see a ghost, and will manufacture paranormal incidents, which is the real trojan horse here. so you go in thinking its a ghost movie or maybe a cryptid movie, so when the occasional bone or skull is found it's like "oh no, the ghost/cryptid did it"

the whole time the protagonist(s) are having just the most amazing meals and customer service... never suspecting.

NOT TO MENTION none of that bone windchimes bullshit.

What is the one thing a LOT of farmers use? It smells like vomit so you always know its in use? Blood and Bone fertiliser. no questions asked for anyone who has been in a farming area. It really helps gardens bc nutrients (its legit blood and bone with other mixtures, usually the offal and such from abbottoirs)...

Maybe the locals are like super funny about it. There's a whole year-round halloween attraction with real skeletons and just enough tacky decorations that no one questions them.

Or the doctor's office has a like 6ft skeleton and the school uses it on occasion for biology.

the real question is like, what are funeral rights like in a town dedicated to eating people?

Is a town member considered Sacred and Off the Menu?

Or is it an honour to have your body shared amongst your loved ones after death? Does anything change in the event of like, an unexpected or accidental passing?

If you have a combine harvester accident, and you lose an arm, does the amputated limb go on the menu or it is carefully disposed of?

They never really look into how this whole system works in terms of a full town structure. It's always some shitty "protag snaps awake and screams at dead bodies" thing as people leer or masked people cut up bodies"

If they expanded on it, it could be interesting.

But that's just me, I'd want to know WHY a whole town went full hannibal and how that impacted all the other systems. Government, health, education, political/legal, community events?

Do they have a section for Special Meat Dishes in the local show / bake-off?

See the full post

57 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

#4

...can a mimic get into a hospital/magical medical center with dr clerics or whatever, and pretend to be an organ?

Like, eat what was in the transport carrier, and get transplanted?

That could be a really fucked up DnD campaign where it slowly starts to bond to the body and fights for ful control of the limbs, and noone in the party knows until the changes are physical...

It could go:

a) the horror route, where they lose out to them and become a monster, and perhaps this is how mimics gain the mass to become a greater threat

b) the tragic hero route, where they see they are being consumed and sacrifice themselves to save the others

c) the changeling route, where the two mix into a new entity either with, or against, the will of both the mimic and the host

d) the symbiote route, where they bond and learn to live together, even begin to work together and maybe even love one another much to the discomfort of the other party members sharing the tent

e) the trial by fire route, where only through great suffering can the means to remove the creature or make it inert be gained

f) the medusa route, where the host is strengthened through (faith, medicine, magic, other) and is able to overcome the parasitic thing and force it into inertia so it 'dies' but remains as the organ itself

g) the feral route, where the host embraces the desires radiating through them and becomes wildly unhinged around concepts like 'good/bad' and 'friend/food' as the tendrils slip into their mind but still retains primary consciousness

h) the mirror route, where the creature takes control if the host is unconsious and has a different 'self', but will usually only act to preserve the body

i) the What? route, where the hero just wakes up as a normal person with a strange ability to shapeshift or blend into surroundings without any explanation and is just like 'fuck it let's gooooo'

j) the Aw YEah route, the same as i) but it's a bard, and they use it for... reasons of charisma, seduction and experimentation

k) the What To Do When You're Expecting route, this could be the final part of a mimic lifecycle and the hero was a good option to carry their spawn or eggs or magical essence or however you want to play that. mostly bc it would be hilarious to have someone being healed mid-battle and the cleric being like, 'uh, congratulations and im not sure what it is but there's a lot of teeth...'

l) the Choose route, where the host has a crucial moment to choose to keep the mimic or destroy it despite the cost and has to think about the benefits and problems. like, it could be attached to any other letter scenario as well, or random.

m) the PAssive route, weird but hear me out... the cleric catches it, and believes fervently that their patron or deity would want them to help soothe the anger and bloodlust, to bring this creature to peace and handles the issues through intense meditation or calm

n) the Zombie route, where the creature bonds to the hero and fills their blood with spores. non toxic, not harmful, but it does push for them to bring their bodily fluids into contact with the others around them. maybe they get hurt in battle more easily, maybe they're more seductive than usual, or more violent (eg biting in fights), and it targets the party. because it wants to build a protective brood around the host that are loyal to the mimic and will die to keep it safe / has readily available back-up hosts around.

o) the It Takes a Village route, smooshing concepts (k) and (n) together, so that the mimic builds a whole interconnected family of ifferent biologies to spawn through. giving the future mimics unique and durable genetics. more autonomy for hosts, but it pushes emotional bonds as well, and builds an army to protect spawn.

p) the Bonding Song route, where it uses the basic idea of (n) but to gradually make the infected cease movement and settle in a safe, secluded place all together with one mobile to bring food to them as the others meld together physically into a big organic Thing that will slowly form into a Boss Mimic. The mobile one remaining will continue to feed it, and help lead adventurers to it.

Probably others

74 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

#3

cant shake this shitty headcanon in my brain of percy accidentally seducing the others in vox machina by teaching them how to do court dances

something the gentry and nobility are schooled in from a young age bc half their interactions with other noble houses are at balls where all dancing is regimented and very public, the most physical contact with someone outside your own household, usually

But it's all 'hands pressed as you step in counterpoint' and maybe a few flourishes or dips to show you have some mastery

its all fun and games until you realise how close you both are, and that you have the instructors full attention as he shows you how to dance (and not make an ass of yourself at the next formal dinner/ball / charity royal or-gee or whatever the money havers get up to in their free time)

Scanlan would be fun, though, imagine the strict discipline of dance trying to quell a bard whose entire way of motion to music involves hip thrusts and disco moves???

just saying, could be hilarious, could be very cute too

having trouble picturing a few of them, but as a spectator sport it would be very entertaining

89 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#2

Master List - Creativity Help/Art Block Busting for Writers & Artists

Post for AUs & Tropes

Post for Monster-Making (Mundane Items)

Post for Dryad Creation

Post for Fae/Fairy Creation

Post for Random Character Weaknesses

Post for Random Superpowers

Post for Mermaid Making

Post for Monster Mixology

Post for Making a Randomised Centaur/Taur

Post for Winged Creatures

96 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i feel like the voix machina group could have handled the percy situation much easier if they have an enchanted like, pole catcher thing

like... "I am death and vengeance and-"

*snick* "Gotcha, let's get you a snickers."

324 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[halfwayinlight]

I wrote a thing today. It was supposed to be for Valentine’s Day

Title: Holding Space Fandom: Star Trek TNG Pairing: Will Riker/Deanna Troi Rating: PG Notes: set between Season 3 episodes The Bonding and The Booby Trap

Commander Will Riker would be lying if he didn’t admit that he was disappointed Deanna had not yet come to the bridge to report she was back on board. It wasn’t an official protocol, but it was a courtesy that the senior staff generally observed. It was, in fact, out of the ordinary that Deanna didn’t report to the bridge officer on duty.

He told himself he would wait a full half hour past her anticipated arrival time to call down to O’Brien. It would be a very long half hour, and he knew that at least some of the bridge crew were very aware he was antsy. So Will had dutifully read through the various daily reports sent in. And he checked the logs three times to make sure there wasn’t some mental health crisis that would’ve pulled her immediately back into work.

Eventually, he’d taken to the ready room, vacant since the captain was off duty at the moment. Catching up on reports was no help in the distraction department because the only remaining reports they were still working on were the reports over the Mintaka III duck blind. It had been an utter failure in all aspects of First Contact. Not that the Enterprise crew had been able to really help it. It was more an Act of Fate.

Privately, though, Will still felt guilty about the whole thing. Guilty for leaving Deanna behind. He knew, rationally, that there was no help for it. Palmer had needed immediate medical care. There had been no reason to think that Deanna wouldn’t be able to slip quietly away and be beamed back on board.

“You’re beating yourself up over it,” she’d observed one night in Ten Forward, about a week ago. Her fingers played with the glass containing her Sumerian sunrise, idly tracing the bands etched around the cup.

He shifted, elbow on the table to lean against it for support, suddenly uncomfortable with the turn this evening was taking. Rather than answer immediately, he took a slow inventory of the lounge. It was a slow night, and they were relatively isolated. As his gaze swept the bar, Guinan had given him a long look and a subtle nod. He wasn’t even really sure what the nod meant, except that they would be given some space. “We should’ve come up with a better plan. One that had less risk.”

“We had limited intelligence. Given what we knew at the time, the risks seemed minimal. In retrospect, I don’t see what we could’ve done any differently.  And, Will, I’m fine. I wasn’t hurt.”

He shook his head. “You were almost sacrificed to a non-existent deity,” he ground out, one hand lifting to rub his beard in frustration. “Do you know what it’s like to sit in a meeting with the captain and the current expert in Mintakan culture and hear that under these extraordinary circumstances, they might actually kill someone you care about?”

Deanna was leaning in now, arms resting on the table, hands clasped. He envied her level of calm and acceptance about this. “No, I do not. But,” she quickly added, “I do know what it’s like to sit on the bridge or in meetings and hear about missions where the people that I care deeply about may die. To see you and our friends leave on away teams when there are serious risks. To coordinate evacuations and general quarters, especially sauce separations, that leave me with the low-risk group and people I care for very much on the battle bridge.”

The intensity of her words hit him like a phaser blast, and Will was left speechless for long moments. He’d never taken much time to consider what it looked like from her end of things. And given her sympathetic smile, she realized this.

“It’s the life I chose, Will,” she added quietly after giving him some time to absorb her first statements. “We all signed up for Starfleet understanding the risks. Some of us have already lost loved ones in the line of duty…”

It was the line of duty that was the hardest to absorb. That reminder that her own father had died while serving. Amplified days later when Lieutenant Aster died on the archeological dig. It had impacted the crew, shocked them all because this had seemed like such a routine exploration. Worsened because she left behind Jeremy, now parent-less.

And in the last six days since that incident, Deanna had been on duty, more or less continuously caring for the boy. Worf had wanted to accompany both her and Jeremy to Starbase 24, where they would rendezvous with the boy’s aunt and uncle, but the Enterprise couldn’t spare him long enough. As it was, Deanna would barely make the connection back before they needed to jump to high warp in order to make their next mission. If she was delayed, it would be another week or more before a shuttle or transport would cross their path to bring her back.

In the end, it was O’Brien calling. “Transporter Room 3 to Commander Riker.”

“Riker here,” he replied instantly, straightening in his seat on the couch. He never used the desk in the ready room because it felt too much like the captain’s personal space.

“The counselor is back on board. You can take us to warp now.”

“Acknowledged,” Will replied, feeling a bit silly for not realizing sooner that O’Brien would be aware they were waiting for her arrival before moving on. That he would have anticipated the need to notify the bridge so they could go to warp.

Gathering the PADD he had been using, Will made his way back to the bridge. “Counselor Troi is back on board. Warp eight, on to our next coordinates,” he called to the helm before settling into the captain’s chair. He continued to fight his eagerness to see her back on board for himself. With a few commands from his PADD, he finished the plans he’d settled on the night before in anticipation of her return.

She had sent two communiques to him in as many days. They’d spoken only once through subspace, the first night after Jeremy had fallen asleep in one of the bunks on a small thirty passenger supply ship they’d caught a ride with. Deanna had looked very tired, eyes shadowed from lack of sleep that he hadn’t seen from her in a long time. It had been a rough past few months for her-- the psychological torment on Rana IV, nearly being sacrificed on Mintaka III, and the aftermath of Aster’s death. He’d set a hot bath to run in her quarters and left out some real chocolate that he’d managed to obtain on a recent starbase and kept a secret stash for the rough days when hot chocolate from the replicator wasn’t enough. Will had the sense from their subspace call that this would be one of those days.

And yet the bridge held only the scheduled crew members on a very routine shift. Textbook even. He’d rarely been so glad to hand over command to Data when it finally did end. In reality, he should be finding his way to the mess hall or Ten Forward for a meal. But he was determined not to wait any longer.

It didn’t take long to gain her quarters, and he politely pressed the button to notify her that she had a visitor. They came and went freely from each other’s quarters. They were both visitors with full access at any time. Besides that, as First Officer, he had override access to all parts of the ship. But he was a gentleman and would announce himself.

When there was no answer, he paused for a long moment. A glance up and down the hall confirmed that he was alone for now, and he was grateful. Everyone on board knew they were close. It wouldn't have been the first time either of them had been spotted outside the other’s quarters. Besides, their roles on the ship meant they often worked closely together. But he was also acutely aware that the crew knew their relationship was much more complicated than that.

“Computer, location of Counselor Deanna Troi,” he finally decided to consult on this, instead of simply assuming she was in her quarters. It would be easy enough to gain entry, but he hesitated to simply go in. She might be sleeping. Or she might want to be alone. A few dozen less rational explanations for no answer flitted through his mind, but he dismissed the various scenarios as absurd and unlikely.

“Counselor Deanna Troi is in Commander Riker’s quarters.”

Now that was not something he had not considered. With an about-face, he moved just down the corridor and through his own door. His lounge showed no evidence of a visitor, and he frowned to himself as he scanned the room to be sure he hadn’t missed anything. He gained his room and came to a full halt at the doorway.

There was a Betazoid in his bed. Soundly asleep. In the chair in the corner, her maroon uniform was folded neatly and her boots tucked out of the walkway. He was pretty sure he’d left at least a few articles of clothing on the floor, but it had been cleared out, most likely tossed in the laundry.

But what caught his breath was how small and worn out Deanna looked under the silvery Starfleet-issued blanket. The shadows under her eyes were more pronounced in the low light seeping in from the lounge. He wondered if she had even gone to her own quarters at all, and he suspected likely not.

For now, he was too awake to sleep. So he let himself linger for several moments more, absorbing that she was back on board. That she was getting the rest she so clearly needed. There would be time to catch up later. Will finally returned to his lounge and found something in the replicator menu that sounded appetizing and was able to focus enough to wrap up his daily report and close out two older reports before his mind wound down enough that he could think about sleeping, too.

A quick sonic shower relaxed him enough that Will knew meant he could finally get some rest. When he went in search of his usual blue pajamas, he found the top missing but tugged on the trousers and eased in beside Deanna. And he quickly found his missing top, which she had appropriated for her own sleepwear.

That particular realization touched on a mix of new feelings. Attraction. It wouldn't be the first time she had swiped something of his to sleep in. Secretly, he hoped it wouldn’t be the last time, either. And it touched on something tender, which surprised him all the more. That she was tired enough to borrow something, rather than make the effort of going to her own quarters, one room away, for her own things.

“Mmmm,” she murmured now, though Will could tell she remained on the other side of sleep.

“Sssh,” Will soothed, arms banding around her and pulling her closer to him, his body warmer than usual from the sonic shower. She relaxed into the comfort, as he’d hoped she would. “Back to sleep,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss into her hair. “I’m glad you’re back,” he breathed, thumb pressing at the nape of her neck, seeking those pressure points to soothe and relax her. He rubbed small circles until her breath evened out again, familiar and soothing against the crook of his neck and he followed her into deep sleep.

#imzadi #otp: imzadi #will riker #deanna troi #counselor troi #commander riker #my messed up space cinnamon nugget rolls

[saigonharrington]

uhh hey so this is probably the first time ive ever requested anything in tumblr and im kinda nervous but can u do 🍀 for me?? a male ship from either tw or hp since im a fan of both

so i just turned 18 a few days ago. my hogwarts house is hufflepuff and i am a pretty shy and awkward kid. ive always had trouble opening up and letting people in but once i do, i can be very attached and carefree around them. i love superheroes, scifi and fantasy movies and i can be a little bit of a geek. i enjoy late night talks, warm baths, laughing over inside jokes, pasta and i absolutely hate cheesy things.

so yeah i think thats it. im sorry if that’s too much

thank youu and congrats on 100 followers! 🤍

Hi darling, thanks for your request! No, it’s not too much ☺️ you could write even more.

But back to ships, I decided that I can do a ship not only from teen wolf but also harry potter.

Let’s start with Harry Potter.

I ship you with… Dean Thomas

I feel like Dean isn’t the most extroverted, yet he has the confidence to tell the girl that he likes her

I think he would get a little afraid of your response, messing some words but that boy is so charming, believe me.

Seamus being his wingman, made them sit next to you and your friends on a casual day in the great hall when you were eating dinner.

Thanks to Seamus, who talked to you first, Dean opened up and showed his funny and careless side, admitting that he likes you.

He didn’t realize that he said that for the first minutes.

But boy when he finally understood he was blushing a lot. LIKE A LOT.

He found it cute that you had trouble with saying some things and all of your statements were thoughtful

It became a tradition that even if you two hadn’t had the lessons together, he waited for you in front of the class, wanting to catch you for a little chat about anything.

You got comfortable with him very quickly, making many, many inside jokes that only two of you understood, and cracking because of them in the most inappropriate moments

Considering the fact that Dean was an artist, he would draw you so often, focusing on details that made you beautiful, and he wasn’t afraid to say it, even though he wasn’t so sure of his skills when you saw his works for the first time.

Dean liked reading the comic books, for some time of his life he thought that he’s a muggle, so he knows superheroes as well as you, both of you always argued which one is the best (but it was only playfully)

I’m pretty sure Dean likes neck kisses. Both, giving and receiving. It makes the boy go crazy

When the two of you were watching movies, both of you commented on everything and laughed when something didn’t make sense

I feel like he could be very dorky and there was no time for boredom, because his friend was a freaking pyromaniac and made your lives more interesting…

Now to the teen wolf!

I ship you with… Isaac Lahey!

I got only a little bit inspired by your username, but reading the description made me think “that SCREAMS Isaac Lahey” and here’s an explanation

Well, depending on his era, the pre-werewolf one or after he got bitten, he still was a little bit awkward, talking only when it’s needed but he really often mentioned something funny, turning everything into a joke and that made you have a crush on him

When he likes someone, he’s not afraid to admit that, and I bet he told about it to Scott right after he realized that he likes you too much

Not gonna lie, the first conversations between you two were a little weird, because neither of you were sure if you crossed the line with jokes

But you made it through and then everything was just a pure chaos, laughing even about your past traumas.

Isaac had his problems (as we know) and he didn’t have anyone to talk to then so he made sure that you knew that he is always there for you, ready to listen about your issues

Knowing that he’s a geek too, he would love to read with you and watch movies, getting way too excited with everything, getting into the film like it’s his own life

He had only problems with chemistry so if you wanted him to tutor you in something else, he would be eager

Sometimes the two of you would have little fights when doing school related stuff, but it was quickly solved and the reason to laugh later

He would love to talk with you at night. That’s the only time when he found it easier to open up and be honest, sharing with you all his about the future and being a werewolf, also, dreaming about the future with you

If you say something about taking baths with you, he would be so in… I mean, life in Beacon Hills is stressful, and everyone knows that baths are relaxing...right?

I take no criticism but I think Isaac is a great cook. He doesn’t cook too much but definitely gets you surprised when he does it, and each dinner is delicious.

Obviously you wearing his lacrosse shirt with his surname on it

He gets butterflies when you do that

He is not the person who likes public affections, but he shows you his love in a subtle way, caring about you, confessing his love, talking with you and complementing a lot

I’m sorry I didn’t write more, while I was focusing on those requests i realized i have to study 🤢 so the rest of the requests (mostly ships) might be done tomorrow or even later 😪 but im trying!!!

join the sleepover party

#request #answered asks #Harry potter #dean thomas #teen wolf #isaac lahey