#i found this song and it sounds sooo nice but the lyrics are so sad and honest. i love this song.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary171

3/3-4/2024

sunday - monday

a nice day off i guess.

back 2 feeling bad tomorrow though. not that bad though. the next 2 days are just 3 hour shifts, but after that,,,, 2 more days off, and then 2 more 7.5 hour shifts. isn't that sooo cooooool.

i know people live like that normally but really they should not i think. it is not good for people.

anyway, today i've mostly been mixing this one song, since i'm not going in early tomorrow, i'm gonna be able to record vocals probably tomorrow, so i'm thinking i'm gonna do that for this song, replacement vocals for parts/because i disliked some lyrics. and then maybe some more stuff re: vocals on other songs. whatever i need to do to get things done, and if it's stuff that's like, simple, as in, going in and re-recording, that'll be good.

i should get a list of songs i need to re-record together, for vocals, and songs that need new lyrics. huhmmmmmmmm. i don't want to make it tedious though. but i guess it just might end up that way... frustrating and sad and a whole lot of other things. idk. it's just hard to get practiced rn. my gf and i are like home at the same times mostly. i just need time to myself to like, practice i feel like. but i don't really want her to go when i'm off work or whatever.

testing some stuff out to get these vocals to sound right, the parts/bones i do like/ need to help guide me, i think.

one idea was less distortion, i always do a bit too much, and then another was i forgot on the master fx, the weird high pass filters on psp infinistrip's compressors. i know what they do now, better, they just make the songs i'm making sound better when i push them up higher, i think. so i'm doing that.

i did take a long break at around 11 pm where i played elden ring some, i fought some random bosses, stuff like that, i found a cute chest piece to wear. that is one criticism i have of the game, not enough pretty/cute armor, dark souls had so much, demon's souls was very cool looking imo, ds3 was also good, ds2 was weird but good ultimately. elden ring lacks in that department, i think. very strange.

i also just need to buy a new mouse soon, this one is double clicking by accident/malfunction, super annoying.

another thing, i want to do some stuff to that horse thing i did yesterday, i had an idea for things to draw over top of it/modify it with gut-y things. it could be good, for something, idk what though.

since i am sleepy, i'll cut this one short i guess, a final bit of thinking though, re: today

i was thinking about like, why i like music w/ screaming in it, in the shower today, and about how it reminds me of this noise in my head sometimes, it's not like, coming from anger, it's like a violent and incoherent thought, not violent outwardly, but its happening, it is an eruption of some sort, it is a straight line, or like, an epiphany, a gust of wind from where but leading me elsewhere, it is gravity, it gives me something but its utterances can't really be expressed. this is all to say, it's inarticulate to the point of articulating something, it used to appear a lot more, when i was a lot more unwell i guess, it was like screaming and also the scraping of a machine, it didn't crowd out the ability to think though, it was concurrent with my internal voice, it was a phenomenon, i lived beside it, or it lived through me, idk. i hope it doesn't sound deluded to say it articulated something in its incoherence, because i don't think it articulated anything meaningful on the level of like, what i am, you know. it gave me very little except a feeling, it revealed itself as a feeling speaking totally, its own voice, i guess, cleaved from the semantic structures i live by typically, another voice speaking wrong, i guess the gnashing of the teeth, an abjection appearing inside me, or maybe the waste produced in thought reached out and shook me. that is what it seems like now. it is a theoretical thing, almost, spurred on by difficult circumstance in my life. music like orchid or powerviolence or anything else really excessive along similar lines speaks that same sort of position i think, or it at least seems to emerge from there. not necessarily rage or whatever, it doesn't have to be angry, it is just brittle and coming apart. i was thinking of this beside why my girlfriend doesn't seem to always like that stuff, and i think it's more that to her, it recalls being screamed at, rather than a wall of noise that can be pointed outward (recalling cybernetic hypothesis' idea of a zone of offensive haze now), or used to shroud oneself. this is a difference of experience but not desire, since we want that same thing, but we imagine it differently.

this is what makes us a good couple, i think.

currently waiting for this final export now. i am so actually almost painfully tired i feel like.

okay... that was not the final one, but maybe this will be.. ihope.

i think i will just have to figure this one out tomorrow, but it's getting there, i think the instrumental is sitting at the right volume but idk what's up with the vocal mix. maybe too many scooped mids? idk. a weird sound overall. maybe it has to do w/ the not distorted low end? i can try fooling w/ that tomorrow as well.

anyway, i need to sleep now so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[verwelktesgedicht]

I thought about it but I still don't understand it. Why is just living so painful?

dakara boku ha ongaku wo yameta - yorushika

#i found this song and it sounds sooo nice but the lyrics are so sad and honest. i love this song. #yorushika #dakara boku ha ongaku wo yameta #だから僕は音楽を辞めた #yorushika song translation #my translations

[beels-burger-babe]

Obey Me Character Song Thoughts

***DISCLAIMER: These are my blind reactions to the song. They're my opinion and based off of my personal taste in music as well. You are free to agree or disagree with them as you please, just please no hate***

Lucifer / Arcadia :

Surprisingly, I really like the music in this. I don't usually like electronic music, but this one was nice. His voice isn't my favourite, but is still good. NOW THE LYRICS!! Oh dear. Oh my. Oh boy. I was not expecting to catch feelings for Lucifer today, sir. How dare you do this to me. Update: I just got to the second verse...He's a yandere. He is fucking yandere. He's still so full of himself as usual and I WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE BUT I ALSO WANT TO KISS HIM GAAAAAAAH!!!!! LUCIFER YOU ASSHOLE! UPDATE UPDATE: FINAL VERSE! AND THEN THE PRICK GOES BACK TO BEING A ROMANTIC CHARMING LITTLE SHIT 😡😣😖 Final thoughts: I- I- this whole song was a rollercoaster. I love to hate lucifer and hate to love him. I really do. This song embodied that perfectly. I did enjoy the song though.

Mammon / Are You Ready? :

Opening thought. I am not ready. Very not ready. Mammon is amazing in that art 😍.

Okay, now being serious, I'm sorry Mammon. I adore you to BITS, like so so so much. But this is exactly the kind of EDM that I despise. BUT, I bore through it and kept listening. I don't hate his voice, but he's sing talking. He's not quite rapping, he's sing talking. So it's meh. FUCKING UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: THE CHORUS!!!! THE MF CHORUS!!!! HE SINGS! HE CAN ACTUALLY SING (still not best but pretty good)?! AND THE MUSIC SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER THERE WHEN IT'S SLOW- ... ... ... the auto-tune on his voice on that English line 😤 WHY?!! I WAS JUST GETTING INTO IT!!!

Lyrics time: Honestly, it feels like Mammon got drunk, picked up a mic and started singing to MC, and I mean that in the best way possible. He's being honest in a way we've never seen him be honest before, and he calls himself a tsundere 😂 I love it.

Now the chorus lyrics: I love the chorus. It's so Mammon and just perfect. I love it. The lyrics just- *sighs* it's that possessive side of him that makes him the dork that he is. Okay. t-the lyrics...the lyrics also give me MAJOR suggestive vibes and I'm just here like 😳😳😳 MaMmOn PlEaSe WhAt ArE YoU DoInG?!

Final thoughts: The lyrics are also quite repetitive, which is another pet peeve of mine. All in all, it's not bad. It's just not for me. I'm so sorry Mammon 😭😭😭 That being said, I think it suits Mammon fairly well. Not perfectly, but good.

Leviathan / My Chance:

Opening thoughts: THIS TITLE IS SO CUTE AND IT'S PERFECT FOR HIM uwu Also, the vintage game-esque music is just perfect for Levi's aesthetic. Like, the light piano mixed with it gives me Undertale vibes?? Even before he starts singing, I just think it's really cute and it makes me want to hug him. Again, I'm not in love with his voice, but it's still nice. I do enjoy it.

Lyrics: LEVI BABY ARE YOU OKAY?! SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A THERAPIST 😭😭😭

Chorus: It's so sad, but this is Levi's reality. This song embodies him and everything he is so so so well. It really is perfect for him. But seriously bro. Let me hug you. And then we're gonna work on your self-worth issues because oh boy That last verse though. Oh my goodness 🥺🥺 It is the very definition of pining.

AND THEN THE FINAL CHORUS!!! HE'S BEING SO HONEST ABOUT HIS ANXIETY AND I JUST- 😭😭😭😭 LEVIIIIIIIIII!!!

Final thoughts: *clears throat, wipes tears that are totally not there* Right. So it's obvious that I enjoy this one. It just screams Levi and suits him so well and it also just breaks my heart so...yeah.

Satan / Read My Heart:

The piano. THE 👏 FUCKING 👏 PIANO 👏 So beautiful! The fact that his song is so soft and slow when he himself is meant to represent something so strong and violent is simply poetic. There are moments where I love Satan's singing voice in this and there are moments where I don't like it as much. HIS VOICE IN THE CHORUS IS MY FAVOURITE 😭 So sweet. So just- I love him. I love him so much.

Lyrics: So honest, but I feel that this is almost like a letter from Satan of all the things he wishes he could say. Also, remember that dork who can't say love words out loud headcanon we talked about earlier today? He literally confirms here 🥰🥰 Aww Satan

Chorus: AGAIN! SO HONEST WITH HIS FEELINGS AND HIM TRYING TO KNOW HIMSELF 😭😭😭 It's just so beautiful Stunning. I love it. This one hits all the markers for me. I'm calling it now. I think his lyrics are my favourite, and possibly my favourite song in general. It's just such a beautiful love song. Filled with what he so desperately desires but also his fears and it's so honest it hurts.

Final thoughts: This one made me cry. Like, literally made me cry. It was just so beautiful and perfect. I mean, there's a sad line that uses cats as a metaphor 😭 It's fantastic. Amazing. I can't praise it enough. Where I feel everyone else so far (except poor Levi, poor baby) had something that implied...suggestive things, Satan is just so desperate for love. To feel and experience it and everything that comes with it, and it's just- I love it.

Asmodeus / Pomade:

I actually really really enjoy the music here. It's more pop than EDM and I appreciate that. It's nice. Asmo's voice is also really pleasant to listen to. There's just something about it. I like it a lot. When he holds his notes, it just has this amazing sound and I dunno. I just like it a lot! AND HIS FALSETTO!! HOLY SHIT! AMAZING

Lyrics: I mean... It's exactly what I'd expect from Asmo. It doesn't feel like it's being sung to the MC though. At least not at first. It almost feels like he's singing to an audience at the Fall or something.

Chorus: It's a little more personal, but I feel like we're still only getting that one side of Asmo. We're shown in the second season that he does have insecurities and that there's more to him than being self-obsessed, and I'm kind of disappointed that the song doesn't show that.

Second Verse: We're finally getting personal here. Okay. The table has been turned and now Asmo is finally talking about how he feels about MC and that's more I like it!

Final thoughts: Now that I've listened to the final verse and chorus, I GET IT NOW! It's a story. It's how Asmo first felt like all that was there for him and all he was made for was pleasing the audience. Then you came and it was just a game of trying to make you fall for him, just like he had been able to everyone else. And finally, him realizing that it's him who has become captivated by you and that he loves you! It's actually really sweet and I love that. Sound-wise, this song is fantastic! The music really compliments his voice and it all suits Asmo's character really well.

Beelzebub / Hungry Six-Pack:

So ya'll already know I adore Beel and this ROCK MUSIC AND HIS VOICE MADE ME SWOON! His voice! His voice is FANTASTIC! And the music IS AMAZING!!! I just love the guitar in it. It's (pardon me for this) it's just so damn sexy and I love it so much! THE BRIDGE OF THE SONG IS DAMN HOT OKAY?! I CAN'T GET OVER IT!

Lyrics: What I love about the lyrics is that they confirm my theory of Beel actually being physically impacted by his appetite. He says that it can cause him to get dizzy and I'm just here like 🥺🥺 We really get a sense here of how Beel is actually desperate to stop this appetite. He hates how it impacts him. He hates how it impacts those around him. And I just - 😭😭😭

Chorus: It fucking slaps! The up tempo is just *chefs kiss* and I love everything about it. And the words 😳 Damn Beel...Damn. i love him so much even though if you really think about it these words HURT

THE SECOND VERSE WITH DRUMS IN THE BACK JUST MAKES ME WANT TO JUMP AROUND IN A MOSH PIT! I LOVE THE SOUND OF THIS ONE SOOOOO MUCH! IT'S SO GREAT!

THEN IN THE LAST CHORUS WITH THAT HIGHER OPTION NOTE THAT HE HOLDS AND SHAKES AND I'M LIKE 😍😍😍 GOD I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH

Final thoughts: As you can clearly see, I love this one. Now, lyrics-wise, I found a comment that really broke down the lyrics in terms of Beel's insecurity with his appetite and his sin and how he struggles with that and it made me appreciate the song all that much more and I just- I love this song. (The comment was left by Felix The Lemon on this if you don't understand the utter heartbreak of this song, please read this) Maybe it's my bias towards Beel. Maybe it's because it's rock. But this one, overall, is my favourite.

Belphegor / Dreamscape:

I love the almost lo-fi sound to it! It's perfect cause a lot of people use lo-fi to sleep. Very clever producers. Very clever. I both hate and love his voice at the same time and I DON'T KNOW WHY! Like it has a bit of a filtered sound to it, but what genuine sound I can hear through that filter is really really nice and I love it. I TAKE IT ALL BACK HIS VOICE IN THE CHORUS 😭😭😭 HE HAS MY FAVOURITE VOICE OF THE BROTHERS BY FAR! OH MY GOD IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!

Lyrics: GAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! OKAY OKAY OKAY!!! So! These lyrics are so great because it's showing that soft side of Belphie that I adore! It's not his teasing side, it's the side that only Beel and MC really get to see and I just- I love it.

The whole "I will always wait for you" for some reason made me think of when he was stuck in the attic where literally the only thing he had to look forward to was MC coming to set him free and update him on how Beel was doing. And then afterward, he had to wait for them to be comfortable around him again because he knew that he messed up and he had to wait for their forgiveness. And then finally, Belphie has to wait for them to notice his feelings, amongst the obvious more showy feelings of his brothers and to hopefully maybe choose him 😭😭😭 SO GOOD

Second verse is his insecurities and I just ao;dusg;bfjnaduoh;szvbjxaui;dvkjx AAAAAAHHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN PUT IN TO WORDS!! WHY DO I LOVE THIS?!?!

FINAL THOUGHTS: THIS SONG ALONE HAS CAUSED ME TO FALL IN LOVE WITH BELPHEGOR ADU;SFBKJACDZS IT'S JUST SO PERFECT!!! His voice! The sound! The words! It has it all! I know I just said Beel's was my overall favourite, and I'm so so sorry Beelzebaby, but Belphie takes the cake. We get his anger, his sadness, his fondness, HIS DESPERATION, IT JUST HAS SO MUCH EMOTION!!!! I CAN'T GET OVER THIS SONG!

~~~~~~~

The songs were all incredible and I love them to bits. I feel like I know the brothers better know and I know have more feelings for Belphie than I know what to do with, so there's that 😅😅 If you're still here reading this, thanks for joining me on this chaotic journey and dealing with my bullshit. Love you guys ❤❤❤

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me character song #obey me song #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me review #character analysis #review #my thoughts #my opinon #b talks #🐝 talks #the hive

[wallflower-bunbun]

Answers to some unusual asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? I don’t use any of these.

is your room messy or clean? Pretty clean (mostly because of my mom though lol)

what color are your eyes? Brown

do you like your name? why? Yes, I do. It’s unique and It sounds nice

what is your relationship status? Taken

describe your personality in 3 words or less. Kind

what color hair do you have? Dark Brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? I don’t drive.. lol

where do you shop? The dollar store lmao

how would you describe your style? Lazy/comfortable

favorite social media account? Tumblr

what size bed do you have? Single

any siblings? An adopted sister, 

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Probably, where I live now, which is in Canada. I really like it here. 

favorite snapchat filter? I don;t usually use snapchat but anything with freckles. 

favorite makeup brand(s) Don’t have any

how many times a week do you shower? about 4 or 5

favorite tv show? Criminal Minds

shoe size? 12

how tall are you? 5′8

sandals or sneakers? Sneakers

do you go to the gym? Nope 

describe your dream date. A picnic at the park while watching the sunset. 

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? none lmao

what color socks are you wearing? black

how many pillows do you sleep with? 3 

do you have a job? what do you do? No i don’t 

how many friends do you have? probably around 15

whats the worst thing you have ever done? I have no idea

whats your favorite candle scent? buttercup

3 favorite boy names? Sean, Mitch, and Jack

3 favorite girl names? Dawn, Sky, and Evelyn

favorite actor? Ryan Reynolds

favorite actress? Don’t have one

who is your celebrity crush? Don’t have one

favorite movie? Hot Fuzz

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read at all really 

money or brains? Brains

do you have a nickname? what is it? Sky

how many times have you been to the hospital? for myself, once, to see others, I can’t count. 

top 10 favorite songs. 21, Guns For Hands, Flares, pajamas, The Kids Aren’t Alright, Twin Skeleton’s, Are You Bored Yet?, Half a Man, Electric Love, and You should be sad. 

do you take any medications daily? Yes, i do

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Smooth?

what is your biggest fear? The ocean

how many kids do you want? 1

whats your go to hair style? my everyday hairstyle (look at my pfp)

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) Medium sized. 

who is your role model? My dad

what was the last compliment you received? My bf called me beautiful

what was the last text you sent? “I love you”

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? about 9

what is your dream car? Any kind of convertible. 

opinion on smoking? Unhealthy and unnecessary. 

do you go to college? No, not yet. 

what is your dream job? Vet Tech

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Rural

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? I’ve never been to a hotel. 

do you have freckles? No

do you smile for pictures? Yes

how many pictures do you have on your phone? Probably over 2,000

have you ever peed in the woods? No

do you still watch cartoons? Yes

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? I’ve never had then from Wendy’s, so McDonalds lol

Favorite dipping sauce? bbq

what do you wear to bed? Pjs

have you ever won a spelling bee? No

what are your hobbies? Drawing and playing video games

can you draw? I think so, yeah

do you play an instrument? I’ve played drums before

what was the last concert you saw? Never been to a real one

tea or coffee? coffee

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I’ve never had either

do you want to get married? Yes

what is your crush’s first and last initial? I don’t really have a crush, unless you count my bf, which would be L.H

are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yesss

what color looks best on you? Black

do you miss anyone right now? Yes, my bf

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed

do you believe in ghosts? yeah

what is your biggest pet peeve? coffee that costs more than $2

last person you called? My dad 

favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry

regular oreos or golden oreos? Regular

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow

what shirt are you wearing? A dark green tank top

what is your phone background? Something

are you outgoing or shy? shy

do you like it when people play with your hair? yes

do you like your neighbors? kind of

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? In the morning I do

have you ever been high? No

have you ever been drunk? Kind of

last thing you ate? Chips

favorite lyrics right now? “sometimes to stay alive you’ve got to kill your mind.”

summer or winter? winter

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk chocolate

favorite month? June

what is your zodiac sign? Taurus

who was the last person you cried in front of? My bf

I’m going to start answering random asks just because I get really bored and no one sends me asks themselves sooo yeah! :D

Btw, I got this from @/luxet

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

MONICA YOU LOVED MANIC TOO??!?!? I'm overjoyed because I've only spoken to one (1) other person who really loved it & I feel so relieved, somehow, that you love it since you're the BEST OF US and what YOU love always gets right to the heart of a thing or a story. ANYWAY. Finally // and I Hate Everybody are my absolute favorites, and don't you think this album is like Ashley's version of Lover??? it's her most honest, and maybe lowest but also sweetest and steadiest album. I'M IN LOVE

YES YES YES YES YES I AM SOOO EXCITED YOU LOVE IT WILL YOU BE MY MANIC BUDDY *SINGS IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND WHO LOVES HALSEY*

also thank you sincerely and seriously so much for the glowing shoutout

#WONDER WOMAN SPEAKS MY HEART AND ALSO THIS IS SURPRISINGLY (?) RELEVANT TO THE ONCOMING STORM OF AN ESSAY

before I go any further I want to inform you I am drinking hot chocolate and Bailey’s out of my Batman/Catwoman mug and I still have Christmas lights up. This is not relevant to the following essay but I just thought you should know

I should start the essay shouldn’t I

First of all, I LOVE what you say about this being Ashley’s version of Lover. Both are a...finding of self, more or less complete. This isn’t to say that Taylor’s journey is over—she still has a lot of life and song left to fight through and to enjoy—but by the last words of “Daylight,” it seems to me that through all her struggles, she has finally discovered how to be gentle with herself and how to light her world.

I want to be defined by the things I love,

Not the things I hate

Not the things I am afraid of, I’m afraid of,

The things that haunt me in the middle of the

night, I

I just think that you are what you love.

In Lover, through Lover, by Lover, Taylor is whole again in her soul, and being thus whole and free, her future is quietly hopeful—even in the reality of the sorrowful “Soon You’ll Get Better” (which I still cannot listen to because it wounds my heart). I cannot imagine what she will do next, for she has the most expansive possibilities ahead of her.

Going back to Ashley, or Halsey, well, I can say nothing so clear about Manic other than that it aches. It aches because the whole thing is a confession. It is a spilling out of herself, all her hurts and frustrations and failures and most importantly the confusion of it all that lasts till this day and may last many more. Somehow, somewhere, in all this mess, I feel that by the end of the album, Ashley has found a grain of peace. She is still searching, still longing for things she maybe doesn’t even understand, but she understands herself, and, I hope, understands in a small way that it is okay to be in a state of longing and aching and messing up and trying again.

I’m sleepy so I’m not sure I am being coherent or cohesive, forgive me. I’m just going to say a few things about my favorite songs!

“Ashley.” So this wasn’t the first song I listened to, because of the singles released earlier. But how powerful is it that Halsey opens up with her name? There is nothing I like better than an album that tells a story (surprise!) and the instant I saw the track listing, I was shook.

Seems like now it's impossible to work this outI'm so committed to an old ghost townIs it really that strange if I always wanna change?And if only the time and space between us wasn't lonelyI'd disintegrate into a thousand piecesI think I'm making a mistakeBut if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?

This verse—I don’t know if it is just where I am in my own life, but really, who hasn’t felt this strange rending of desires in some capacity. Cling to the past? Leap toward the unknown? I want to live near my parents forever, and see my mom every Sunday like I have for years now. I want to live in a foreign country, or even out near my old college, or heck even live in a city for year or six months, just because it would be an Experience. (Couldn’t live there indefinitely, not this girl who loves endless trees and hills and warm summer night country roads and rustling corn.)

How do we know what to do? How do we decide? What if we get left alone, with no one to comfort and support us? What if we cannot handle the consequences of our choices?

Apart from my beating heartIt's a muscle but it's still not strong enoughTo carry the weight of the choices I've madeI told you I'd ride this outIt's getting harder every day somehowI'm bursting out of myself

LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT IT! I DARE YOU TO SAY THIS IS NOT A UNIVERSAL EMOTION. THIS IS WHAT THE ALBUM WILL BE ABOUT SO IF YOU CANNOT OPEN YOUR HEART AND BE PREPARED TO FEEL EMPATHY AND COMPASSION FOR THE YOUNG WOMAN WHO IS ABOUT TO SPILL HER GUTS TO YOU THEN GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

Ahem, I’m sorry, please stay, I don’t actually want you to go. Just sit down and I’ll give you your own hot chocolate. But listen. Ashley is, before anything, a human being. Therefore, she is going to mess up, just the same as any of us, maybe more, maybe less, but that is never going to take away a speck of her intrinsic worth, or the way that God loves her. Her struggles will not obliterate her humanity, but if I ignore her sorrows, her need for something more, her brilliance and strength and longing to love, then I would nigh obliterate my own.

Also, can I just say she has gone through some REALLY hard things in her life, things I couldn’t imagine, and for her to be where she is now—I just want the best for her. Do I agree with everything she does or believes? No. Is my life at all similar to hers? Not really. But I still feel a kinship with her, and it bleeds through in her music.

This is getting away from me isn’t it. I’m just trying to say that Manic struck a chord in my heart that has been reverberating ever since I first perceived it.

Oh gosh it is 12:30, I have to be up at 6. I’m going to fly through a few other songs and then you can message me about the rest or something 😊

“Clementine” has such color, doesn’t it? Also the line about her wondering what it’s like to be the blood in her veins—I love it!

“Graveyard” with the thing you love the most being the detriment—not going to lie, this is a story song for me, it fits into the Gold Rush Silmarillion AU I am co-authoring. Feanor and his own pride, Maedhros and half the people he loves, Fingon and Maedhros—the list could go on.

“You should be sad” and “More” gutted me because I had only just learned she has endometriosis, and has experienced a miscarriage before.

“Forever...(is a long time)”:

It's a nice surprise knowing six feet highWould reach and grab the moon if I should ask

Or just imply that I want you to be more lightSo I could look inside his eyesAnd get the colors just right

And

What am I thinking? What does this mean?How could somebody ever love me?

Self-doubt and questioning one’s ability to be loved ☹

“Without Me” gets stuck in my head and I LOVE IT I SING IT.

Found you when your heart was brokeI filled your cup until it overflowedTook it so far to keep you close (Keep you close)I was afraid to leave you on your own

 Is there anything more painful than giving all of yourself to someone, loving them so much that you do anything to help them heal—and then all they do is hurt you.

“Finally// beautiful stranger” I’m ashamed to say the first time I listened to it I wasn’t paying attention and so I was like eh it’s fine. THEN I LISTENED TO IT AGAIN. WHY IS THIS SONG HALSEY’S “ENCHANTED” (I can probably explain this, but just after I’ve had sleep)

“killing boys” there are a lot of things I could say about this song but the main thing I want to say is if there was a song that is ME regarding the sound of it only, it is this one. When she sings “you don’t need me anymore” and “I don’t need you anymore” OOH IT GETS ME IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

Also

Told me pick my battles and be picking 'em wiseBut I wanna pick 'em all and I don't want to decideNo more, no more, anymore

THIS IS THAT TUMBLR THING  “MY MOM LIKES TO TELL ME ‘YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR BATTLES’ WELL I’M FULL OF RAGE AND I’M PICKING ALL OF THEM”

ALSO ALSO GETTING INTO THE LYRICS THIS IS HER MOVING ON, THIS IS HER DECISIVELY SAYING NO THIS NOT RIGHT THIS IS HARMFUL TO ME I AM DONE. AND FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS EXPRESSED UNCERTAINTY AND DIFFICULTY MAKING DECISIONS, IT SO GOOD TO SEE HER MAKE A HEALTHY CHOICE FOR HERSELF

“Suga’s Interlude:” LOOK YOU LOVE BTS TOO SO I’M SURE YOU KNOW THE STORY OF HOW IT CAME TO BE AND YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT BTS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH HALSEY BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE READERS LET ME SUM UP

Halsey did a collaboration with BTS called “Boy with Luv” and it shook the charts and is wonderful and I love it. Not only did they create that song though, but she flew out to South Korea and learned the dance choreography so that she could sing and dance in the song’s music video. This was the beginning of a beautiful, cross-language, cross-cultural friendship that has involved friendship bracelets, churros, a personalized microphone, and mutual teasing.

Anyway, Halsey had been really impressed with BTS member Suga, saying “Yoongi is really introspective and has this really intelligent perspective on where we are and what we are doing in our unique lifestyles.” She also was moved by the hard work and sacrifices he (and his fellow band members) have made. Anyway, she asked Suga to write and sing a song with her. He was initially surprised, saying that he can’t rap in English. Halsey, gem that she is, was like bro, pls rap in Korean, that would be awesome. Pardon me for copying half the lyrics for this song but to me it is pivotal in Manic as a whole:

I’ve been trying all my lifeTo separate the timeIn between the having it allAnd giving it up, yeah...

Here is the conflict and strife that Halsey has dealt with all her life—there is fear of loss there, and also fear of what one has. The power it has over you. The way things might go wrong.

I believe your faith, efforts, beliefs, and greed,are not hideous...Although the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest,Never forget that the stars that you wish for,can only rise within the dark...

Suga reminding himself, Halsey, and us to cling to hope, ragged and worn, even in the most difficult of times. Also—in the face of our insecurities and self-recrimination for the goals we set—he tell us that our deepest parts are valid

If I run endlessly towards the end of the tunnel,what will there beIt’s true, it’s honestly differentfrom the future that I had hoped forBut it doesn’t matter, now it’s a matter of living/survivingIt doesn’t matter what happenedYeah yeah it might bedifferent from the things that you expectedYour living and your loving might changeThat’s true That’s true That’s trueYeah so are you gonna moveWe’re still too youthful and young to hesitateLet’s face it (our lives)...

This, this verse is so important. Look back at the song “Ashley”, particularly the lines I already quoted. Indecision because the fear of what might be, of what failure could do, wrecking her worse than ever, with no one to help her. Indecision because of a nostalgia that might be bitter or softly sad, what was past was at least known. It was good perhaps, it was awful more likely. But it was gotten through. There is no guarantee that Halsey will be able to get through whatever the future holds. But Suga comes in here, having faced struggles similar at their core, and he embodies the Nike slogan. Just DO IT. Don’t hold yourself back. Don’t let yourself drown, stuck in sinking mud. Embrace the unknown. If you let fear hold you back, you are as good as dead. There will be no growth, no hope battling through the dark for something better. You have to MOVE! And maybe you were right, things will never be the same, or the way you want it to be, but MAYBE THE DIFFERENT WILL BE BETTER!!!

Anyway, this section really should have been its own essay, because I’m still not done with it. You may have noticed I have been calling them Halsey and Suga, and the song is indeed called “Suga’s Interlude” but this song is so deep and personal to them both, it feels wrong to use their stage names. This is Ashley speaking, this is Yoongi speaking. Halsey posted a cute, stick figure drawing as artwork for the song, and the two singers are pictured there—and named as Ashley and Yoongi. This song is not just a collaboration by two talented artists, this is a look into the souls of a woman and a man who’ve shed blood, sweat, and tears to become the people they are. This intimacy fits the whole theme of the album so well, I LITERALLY CANNOT

I am so sorry I will move on now. It is 2:00 am. I need to go to bed. I am not. I need to talk about 929.

Well first let me say that “Still Learning” is also super important to the theme of the album.

I know that I've done some wrongBut I'm trying to make it rightDid the one I love do me wrong?Give me up right now

I know that I love you but I'm still learningTo love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)I'm still learning to love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)

She has made confessions and declarations and sung her frustration, and now she is moving forward. The road may be long and hard, but she is moving forward. I had something else to say but I forgot it sorry.

And NOW

929!!!!

This song miiiiight be my favorite on the album, not sure. My heart trembles and I get chills listening to it, because the music and her voice are so gentle and soothing but the lyrics are essentially a list of moments that have been needles and knives to Ashley, all her fears revealed, that she wasn’t enough then and she isn’t enough now, that the girl with the pink hair lied when she said that everyone needed Ashley. It’s a soft confession, a stream of consciousness, so it was written and so I hear it. And in this moment, how can I not love her? How can I not cry for her, for me, for anyone and everyone who struggles with self-worth, with being wanted, with being loved, with loving, with forgiving self and others?Halsey is flawed, and I just want to give her extra love because of that.

But you know what? I think she is going to be ok.

This is where I want to go back and compare Manic to Lover. There is this knowledge of the self, a kind of peace with who one is. I don’t mean that either Taylor or Ashley have reached their pinnacle of self, but they see themselves a little more clearly, and are not suppressing that knowledge.

929 sounds like water gently pouring out of a pitcher into a basin, and water, properly placed, does not drown but gives life. There is hope by the end of this song, hope despite her difficult life, hope despite the fact that she was never even telling the truth about her time of birth. (That story could be a despairing one, the “I’m a fucking liar” could be the miniscule mistake that breaks her after all the rest of her mistakes, but instead...I don’t know she just sounds kind of amused, like even if she is disappointed or upset about it, there is still this “oh well, whatever, can’t believe that happened lol” to her voice and laughter. She knows who she is now, and there is a better woman she might be, but she is not angry with herself for being who she is, and she will move forward, letting go of her ghost towns and all her fears.

Let me end with a quote about 929: “I just start spilling all of my thoughts about myself and my fans and my family, and I admit so many faults and flaws all in one go. It’s forgiving, however, it ends with the acknowledgment that I am learning and growing, minute by minute.”

Ashley, like Taylor, is making a new start. They have both found a sort of daylight, and though there may always be shadows, I really really hope that they will know mostly sun, and spread it around for others.

ALSO I JUST REALIZED I COULD NOW BE SOMEONE’S MANIC PIXIE DREAMGIRL :D 

*Disclaimer: I AM SO FREAKING TIRED I AM GOING TO BED, THIS WHOLE THING IS ENTIRELY UNEDITED, ALSO I LEFT SOME SONGS OUT OOPS WELL TWO OF THEM I DON’T CARE FOR AS MUCH BUT I THINK I FORGOT 3 AM WHICH I DO  LIKE BUT I AM NOT GOING BACK TO WRITE ABOUT IT NOW. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE RAMBLING MESS AND LACK OF ELOQUENCE BUT HERE WE BE THIS IS WHAT YOU GET HOPE IT MADE YOU SMILE

#halsey #manic #taylor swift #lover #madamescarlette #eden you know I will want to hear your thoughts #which will be so much more well-written then mine lol #asks #<3 <3 <3

[misfit-among-the-angels]

Ah I love so many of those cute questions! And I know you like stuff to distract you, so how about you answer all of them? 😘 Can be in batches or all at once.

I hope you are talking about these questions c:

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?I don’t eat cereal tbh

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?YES! I loove cold, especially when it’s all snowy around, then I feel so alive!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?I have two bookmarks so I don’t use any other objects as bookmarks

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?I take my tea with two spoons of sugar and sometimes with milk if it’s black tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?Oh hell yea, I hate my smile most of the time

6: do you keep plants?Nope, I’m not much into keeping plans

7: do you name your plants?Nope

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?I used to write... Now i barely use any artistic stuff to express them :/

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?Nope

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?I sleep on back and on my both sides

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?Oh, I had so many that are now dead because I don’t talk to them anymore. One of them was naming my bag after Janick (lol). That there is one where we call Richard Kruspe Diva, this is such an old inside joke that usually I’m not even saying his name, just saying Diva. 

12: what’s your favorite planet?Saturn probably

13: what’s something that made you smile today?That Tobi post on facebook

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?Oh it would be messy but with so many posters all around since we both love them

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!Mercury is still shrinking

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?Idk, I just love every kind of pasta

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?I’d love to try black and maybe turquoise 

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.Me talking only about Rammstein for 5 hours straight and my best friend had to listen to that and he did. I still say sorry every time we remember that

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?I have my travel journal where I write about every trip I went to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?Green and brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.Oh that’s got to be my red backpack. She’s been to almost every trip I went to since probably 2016. She is old but she is the best one but soon it’s gonna be the time for her to retire 

22: are you a morning person?Hell no

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Sleep

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?Maybe my best friend, I mean he already know probably every secret I had

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?I haven’t broken into any place

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?Maybe my New rock boots?? I mean idk

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?Spearmint

28: sunrise or sunset?Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?She used to make necklaces and make it as a birthday gift. I still have two  necklaces that she made for me as a gift and I still wear them and I still love them

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?Oh yea

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.Socks are cool and I love them, only that I usually forget to buy them and then I’m like “damn it, I’d love some nice socks to this outfit but I don’t have any..”

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.I think it was 2015 summer and I was totally drunk with my best friend, we were both fangirling/fanboying over Tobi and I remember he did something really hot and sexy - he poured some whiskey on my neck and licked it. Idk if he remembers that but my gods, I still can remember that and yea lol

33: what’s your fave pastry?Pies, cakes, buns of various kinds

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?It was a big pink sheep, I loved it so much because it was so cute and big and yea. I don’t think I named it. Idk, I hope my mother didn’t throw it away

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?I don’t really use them, tho I have one for when I’m writing

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?Danheim and Wardruna

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?Totally messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I really hate those fans who are like “I’m gonna die if I won’t be in a first row and I’ll do absolutely EVERYTHING to be there”. Yes, I get them and yes we all live being in a first row but man, those fans are so damn annoying. Like sure, I always try to be in a first row but I don’t bitch if I’m not

39: what color do you wear the most?Black, bit of red and blue

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?My Mjolnir necklace. Well my old one was missing and till this day I haven’t found it so I bought the one I have now and well, it’s my amulet so it means a lot to me

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?Good omens by  Terry Pratchett‎ and ‎Neil Gaiman

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!I don’t really have favorite one

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?This makes me sad because I never did that

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?Last autumn when I was in Krakow

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?I dunno

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.I’m so bad and thinking of puns tbh

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?Beetroot soup

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?Darkness. Oh no, I loooove darkness now

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?YES, I love it. Last ones were the newest Rammstein album and Wardruna -  Runaljod - Ragnarok

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?I don’t think I collect any odd things

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?Sooner than now by Sin cos tan

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?I don’t think I have any???

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?I’ve seen Beetlejuice and Pulp fiction and I love both of them

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?Me

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?Cry

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?The way they talk about something they are passionate about, the way they blush or try to be modest

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?I always have goosebumps when listening to it and yes I do sing along 

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?Group of friends? hahah, it’s so bold to assume that I have a group of friends.. 

59: what’s your favorite myth?I love the myth of Ragnarok

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?Nope, I don’t like it

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?Can’t remember in both cases tbh

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?I don’t drink juice in the morning

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?I try to keep them organized 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?Dark but almost clear with few clouds

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?YES

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Maybe something like this

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?I dunno, sometimes I love it sometimes I don’t

68: what’s winter like where you live?We used to have cool snowy winters

69: what are your favorite board games?Monopoly

70: have you ever used a ouija board?Nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?Black

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?I guess, never thought about this much

73: what are some of your worst habits?Being lazy, kinda being hot head

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.Smart, pretty, tall, has a good heart, funny, serious, helpful, has their own strong opinion about a lot of things, stubborn 

75: tell us about your pets!I don’t have any :/

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?I dunno, maybe

77: pink or yellow lemonade?Neither

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?Neither

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?My best friend giving me a nickname which happened to be the one I use a lot now

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?It’s creamy color, well I had a small voice of choosing them but I’m okay with them 

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.Oh no, I suck at describing stuff like this

82: are/were you good in school?Noo, I was sooo bad in school

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?Yep, I have so many plans for them. I’m still planning on getting more band/lyric related tattoos, also Tolkien one and the one with wolf and triquetra

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?I tried to get into reading them but I can’t buy any of them here and I hate reading them online

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?Yep, well basically all Avantasia albums lol

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?The Matrix, Kill Bill, Intouchables, Wild tales, The legend of 1900, Scent of a woman, Wag the dog

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?Idk

89: are you close to your parents?Not really

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.Krakow. The city that feels home to me, not only because it holds so much history of Lithuania but also because there is something about it that I just can’t describe... As my dad said it is a king city and it feels so, Krakow has a Wavel castle and so many other ancient buildings, maybe that’s why I love it so much. Even it seems that the life in it goes bit differently from any other cities, but from small Old town streets to Jewish district and to beautiful cemeteries everything makes me so happy there.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?I do plan to travel to Poland, then to Czech republic and then to Germany

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?Cheese, yes I love myself a lot of cheese on my pasta

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?I don’t have any other hairstyles other than the one I have in all my pictures

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?My best friend

95: what are your plans for this weekend?Don’t have any

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?It depends on my mood

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?ENFP, libra and i have no idea of my hogwarts house and I don’t really care

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?Last autumn, yes, I love hiking

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Far From Heaven by Battle beast Dancing With The Beast by Battle beast So Good It Hurts by Lord of the lost Harvest by NightwishRunaway train by Avantasia Hoffnung by Doro I Wish by Battle beast Traust by Heilung Serpentine by Pretty maids Ich weiß es nicht by Lindemann

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?Definitely past, because I have so many mistakes to fix and so many moments to relive

Thank you and sorry if my answers suck

#anon #answered

[nick-xftime]

First reactions to Lover:

I forgot that you existed: WHY IS THIS MY BREAK UP SONG? I BROKE UP WITH MY EX OVER A YEAR AGO BUT I STILL REMEMBER THAT FIRST TIME I FORGOT ABOUT THEM AND HOW FREEING IT WAS SHUT UP... also the "sooo yeah" at the end of the song stop that miss swift

Cruel summer: the rhythm, the lyrics, I really enjoy this one but THE BRIDGE KILLED ME BECAUSE SHE WAS CRYING AT THE BACK OF A CAB WHEN YOU ARE DEUNK BECAUSE DHE DIDNT WANT TO KEEP SECRETS JUST TO KEEP HIM STOP THIS

The man: I LOVE THIS JUST FROM THE LYRICS WE GOT BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL SO POWERFUL?? But also kinda angry???? LIKE SHES SO RIGHT AND SHE SHOULD SAY IT AND I WILL SUPPORT HER. ALSO TAYLOR SWIFT TALKING ABOUT GETTING BITCHES AND MODELS REBLOG IF YOU AGREE

I think he knows: THE RYTHM IN THIS ONE IS LIKE AMAZING? A R T. ALSO THE NO ONE UNDERSTANDS IN THE PRE CHORUS REBLOG IF YOU AGREE. AND HOW SHE CHANGES IT FROM BOY I UDNERSTAND IN THE SECOND PREC CHORUS AND HOW SHE SAYS SHE UNDERSTANDS WHY HES OBSESSED WITH HER A MOOD.

Miss Americana & The heartbreak prince (aka the song I have been claiming for months): I love the whole vibe of the song? It’s weird but I feel like I KNOW this song? Like not the lyrics but the production and/or the instrumentation feels like something I know? Also the imagery of rumors being spread in a high school? Love that. Basically this songs feels like something I already know and love even if I just listened to it for the first time, 13/10 would choose to stan it again.

Paper rings: I- i didnt expect this? I thought it was gonna be another soft ballad?? But I love it? Her talking about meeting his friends and the comparison between when they first met and now she has read all the books on his beside? Love that for her. The chorus is really cute and we all know she loves shiny things but SHE WOULD MARRY HIM WOTH PAPER RINGS LOL IN CEYING. ALSO SHE WROTE ABOUT THAT WALL THEY PAINTED AND THE VODEO FEOM CIWYW AND IM CRYING AGAIN, THEY ARE SO IN LOVE. SHE HATES ACCIDENTS EXCEPT WHEN THEY WENT FROM FRIENDS TO THIS ME TOO TAYLOR ME TOO!

Cornelia street: HERES THE SOFT BALLAD I WAS EXPECTING BUT IT HAS LIKE A SAD AIR TO IT?? I WOULD NEVER ESLK CORNELIA STREET AGAIN YEP, IM CEYING A LITTLE BIT TAYLOR, I GET MYSTIFIED BY HOW THIS CITY SCREAMS YOUR NAME!!1!1!!1 SACRED NEW BEGINNINGS THAT BECAME MY RELIGION, I LOVE LOVE AND I LOVE THAT SHES SO IN LOVE

Death by a thousand cuts: REMEMBER WHEN I SAID THAT I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED WAS MY BREAK UP SONG FOR MY EX? WELL APPARENTLY YOU CAN STILL RELATE TO A SUPER SAD BREAK UP SONG AND CRY A LOT TO IT EVEN IF YOU THINK/ARE OVER IT! I really love it tho, it really puts you in that place of heartbreak and having to act like you’re okay and like you’re tough when in reality all you want/need is to cry alone in your bedroom

London boy: that recording is a mood? Okay the production on this album is killing me @ taylor how is this so cool? THEY SAY HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS BUT GOD I LOVE THE ENGLISH SHUT UP I LOVE HER. This is really cute and gorgeous 2.0 I love it 13/10 would love to find a London boy and dedicate this to (?)

Soon you’ll get better: I don’t have the words for this one, it’s just heartbreaking to know the whole family had to go through this and to know so many families go through the same stuff, it was really difficult for me and I can’t begin to imagine how difficult it must have been to write and record this, I love you Taylor, I love Andrea and I send you both the biggest hugs

False god: it’s not really my type of song but it’s still really amazing and the religious imagery compared with their relationship is really well done

Afterglow: this one hits closer to home. "I lived like an island, punished you in silence, went off like sirens, just crying" literally me in my last relationship, @ ex I was shitty too and I’m sorry!

It’s nice to have a friend: IT IS NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND and this is a cute short song and I like it very much, it’s really soothing to me??

Daylight: MY LOVE WAS AS CRUEL AS THE CITIES I LIVED IN. I WOUNDED THE GOOD AND TRUSTED THE WICKED. I ONLY SEE DAYLIGHT. I ONCE BELIEVED LOVE WOULD BE BURNING RED BUT IT IS GOLDEN SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP RED PROLOGUE STANS WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER SHE FOUND THE LOVE THST SHINES GOLDEN LIKE DAYLIGHT!!! THAT RECORDING ST THE END I ESNNS BE DEFINED BY THE THINGS THST I LOVE... I JUSR RHINK THAT YOU SRE WHAT YOU LVOE!!! I LOVE YOU MISS TSYLLR SWIFR AND YOUR MUSIC AND YOU AND YOUR MUSIC ARE FOREVER A PART OF ME!

In conclusion, I love this album, IT IS the healthier option, I’m so happy she’s this happy and in love, and I’m really proud of everything she has accomplished with it! Like all the songs sound amazing together but I also feel like they could all be like singles?

@taylorswift i love you, thank you

#taylor swift #lover #lover album #lover first listen #taylurking #ts #taylor #swift

[orowit]

LOVER EXPECTATIONS!!!

okAY the album lover comes out tonight and you can bet i am getting my ass to go get it to my local store... and because i am bored AF i thought i would do a rundown through my expectations of the songs that this magical masterpiece is going to have. i have managed to avoid spoilers (actually no, i almost read the lyrics of i forgot you existed, thank u genius!! lol) so this is just going to be laura shitposting. thanks!!! they are probs all wrong anyway and no one is going to read it 

I Forgot You Existed: okaaaay this is such a sassy title!!! this gives me this is why we cant have nice things vibes and it seems perfect to send to an ex, or a friend that used to be the meanest but you did not want to seem lonely. perfect abum starter, hoping for state of grace like start...

Cruel Summer: idk but i feel like this is MY BOP, i have been having THE worst summer and i hope i can relate cause i am single af and this album is kinda caotic in the best way… // also the whole devils angels and summer knife sound like such cool concepts, i think that this is going to sound like 1989 vibes like i know places and out of the Woods lyrics and production

Lover: when this song first came out everyone was obsessed with it and i was very happy for tay because she found someone worthy BUT i did not love it so much??? i thought it was cute but it felt too soft in all my misery?? anyways i listened to it before sleep and it was just sooo good like so HEAVENLY and the bridge is soooo goood anyways i want a lover now with blue hearts around them (also like such a cute concept calling them lover aaah)

The Man: honestly the whole concept of everyone would love her if she was a man is the teaaaaa, FEARLESS LEADER ALPHA TYPE WHEN EVRYONE BELIEVES YA WHAT IT LIKE!!!! anywyas miss Swift feminist icon queen of bangers

The Archer: okay this is MY sad jam i have taken it for myself it has not cured my depression but it had made it a nice shelter for me lol i love it i am the archer and the prey. in all states, except physical, i am this song. perfect for when the insomnia hits i love her 

I Think He Knows: yes tay you are in love we know it lol. feel like this song is gonna be yeah yeah i am in love with one (1) man and he knows i have writen multiple songs about it OOOR like my ex just found out what is going i am with someone and he just heartbroken duuude he just broken and HE KNOOOWS maybe sassy tay like snl monologue sassy I JUST LOVE SASSY SWIFT

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: this is THE best title, i love the length it almost tells a story i am too excited probs one of my favs. and also i can really relate to being the hertbreaker so i am VERY excited for this probs had i knew you were trouble vibes which i love im going go drow Stone cold hearts all around this song and arrows and bows and cupid references aaaaaaaaahhhhh best one

Paper Rings: idk about this song what all are these marriage references anyway im so tired and we are just by the half. hopefully a great one but tbh all of them are good

Cornelia Street: i love the fact that she is such a hopeless romantic to even remember the streeet lol such a mood i get the feeling!!! this seems like such a fun song!!! and also a if i ever lose you i Will die and write fifty poems about how this Street looks        EDIT: apparently this is the Street of their apartment so yes i was right as always

Soon You’ll Get Better: apperently this is going to be country take me to your rodeo home boy country, i love that this seems to be dedicated to her mom, probably going to cry to this. we all hope you get better Andrea!! those are some good chicks

Death By A Thousand Cuts: here she is…. my overdramatic queen… its not a big of a deal honey… im just kidding plesase be dramatic plese keep writing i just need more exagerations of true looove probs gonna be sad probs gonna be reaaly good banger like i feel like this is gonna have a intense chorus

London Boy: okay mister London boy you and i need to talk are you avaliable next week, what happened, probs style production!! this seems like a song to listen to when you are on a date with this really cute boy in London and it starts raining and you are like oh no!! but he walks you to your door and covers you with their coat and kisses you in the middle on the rain and you have that beautiful memory to dwell on for years and years

False God: this gives me big  god by florence and the maching vibes, all the songs with god on it are sooo powerfull hell yeah who wants a false god to go pls  POWER SONG

You Need to Calm Down: GAY GAY gay masterpiece this song just called my bi ass off the closet and it has such a good representation on the video. also very happy and fun but Street rat fight kind of fun lol i love this song anyway go vote and vote well

Afterglow: is this about sex lmao? yeah go for it

ME!: it is true you are me and i am you and you are not going to find another one of me and you are algo not going to find a more happy beat that this one. and the collab with brendon urie LIKE!!!! also the video is just so colorful and cute and weird and happy and i want to live in one (1) fantasy world

It’s Nice To Have A Friend: hell yeah i want Friends but people cannot handle being nice so this is why we cant have nice things!!!

Daylight: this is going to be sooooft just like real soft also self written this is going to be poem like the poems from the rep magazines i just KNOW i am going to love this song. the poetry writer part of myself is shaking in her pastel pink boots 

and that is all folks

@taylorswift hope you have the nicest day!!! you are heavenly and lovely and the sweetest! 💘💘💘

and also if you are excited comment or something about the track you are most excited about!! or the one you think i would like the most!!! 💗💗💗💗

happy lover night 💕💕💕

#okay im just too excited sorrry i needed to put my thoughts in order #its tonight!!!! #lover expectations #lover #taylor swift #i think he knows #cruel summer #the man #the archer #i forgot you existed #miss americana and the heartbreak prince #paper rings #cornelia street #death by a thousand cuts #london boy #soon you'll get better #false god #you need to calm down #afterglow #me! #it's nice to have a friend #daylight

[mum-for-da-sons]

Very messy Delta review

Hey gang, i sat & typed & spiraled while listening to delta for the first time just now, so if that interests you to read barely legible thoughts, it’ll be under the read more thing. dang i’m sad!! BUt spoiler alert: GOOOD ALBUM! I’m SAD!! (do note I don’t find the album or many tracks all-around too sad, I’m just a depressed bih)

Delta thoughts: okay i’m not gonna really edit what i wrote but for everyone’s sanity i’ll bold the song titles, okay?

42: BINCH! See a sign, I need some guiding light,,, eff ME UP OKAY?? This is such a strong start i’m already getting teary-eyed, huh. Ugh, it’s so satisfying… well effing done lads,, well done

Guiding Light: Hot dang the whispered beginning?? I really need to fix my computer speakers because this sounds heavenly in my over-ear headphones,, gosh dang. Discover some new TRUTH! Gosh dang this is not a comprehensive review in the slightest but i don’t care!! Binch!! I can’t even say anything good… when beloved or darkness visible makes me cry, i guess beloved is fourth? So if it does it’ll be first, anyway, when i start crying maybe i have something cooler to say. Not crazy about the “dubstep build” on this, after the bridge, just because i don’t believe it, like it’s not long enough, and resolves unconvincingly. But, anyway.

Woman: literally FRICK i thought if i say was next this start is cool and very Winston. Oh vibes?? Oh worm?? Woman?? I’m like 15 seconds in and this is… yes. Can you ever really know? No. is ths song even about anything lol i don’t think i care?? Issa vibe, gang. Chorus?? Eff me up. He said frosty… wendy’s come collect. Oh that was the pre-chorus?? This is f*cking me up… VIBES. i ‘ve been waiting for them to try this in a song of theirs and not like a cover.. I knew they were capable…. The range they’re displaying rn? I love it. I love them wtf!!  Oooh man i wanna see this live? There’s this drumstick noise, like rimshots? That sounds so satisfying. Yes, clackety clack. This is nice. Nice song. Don’t really know what they’re singing, bt this is warm. I like it. Mumford & sons finally said it’s 2018, huh. I just got a youtube notification of me commenting on their radio appearance and i literally said “the range they’re showing? Fantastic” and yanno what,, same

Beloved: this song started like right away huh. He said darling… dang he did that. He’s fitting a lot of words in on this one. Ohh the lord has a plan? It is hard to understand… i love these lyrics.. Big brain meme. Are you afraid? The attack.. Hand come through the mirror?? That visual!!! O f*ck me up. Before you leave :(( yeah it’s getting to me aHAHA.ohh this breakdown? Yes. these drums are especially nice. Ugh i really missed these guys wtf :(. AND AS YOU LEAVE, YOU MUST KNOW YOU ARE BELOVED> yes. Yes. as you LEeeeEEeaaveee. See my children playing at your feet?? BOI.. i’m so soft wtf.. They’re really putting it all out… i wanna hug them i’m so… this is so sweet aw. Oh no the song is fading, no don’t do that song

What song is this the piano can f*ck me up: ben man, you’re doin that huh. No literally did we have to jump to this painful… frick. This violin? Is nice. WE SAW BIRTH AND DEATH. Oh frick. They’re just going for it this is a lot i’m soft. Lemme actually see what song this is lol.. It’s The Wild. i have like chills & i can’t tell if it’s because i’m cold or not. Do not be afraid :(. OH they stripped it back!!! THIS IS NICE! Binch! Puts the fear of God in me :( this is so nice .. it’s hard to pick what to focus on. What’s that i see binch? I think it’s the wild… marcus is really do THAT with these vocals, huh. There was like a breath and.. The atmosphere during this part?? Nat Geo who??? Ohhh i like this so much.. It’s like a soundtrack.. The sampling of noise?? The background?? It’s cool, doesn’t specifically sound like them at all, but, aw these drums :( now it’s like a war movie.. This is so interesting. Those drums remind me of the drums in winter winds that i can sometimes here & it’s very drill-like and marching band-esqe and i love it. Aw birds??? You know what this reminds me of…. I won’t say

Next song: marcus is playing no games with these vocals, jesus. October Skies.. Isn’t this his favorite one… ooh ted I hear that bass,, eff it up.OooooOOOoooHH. The range… i love these guys. I’m blinded by the light of october skies… the movie with Jake Gylenhaal, and in the valley I am free :( where’d the silehute go? OOOooooOOOOooooHH YOUr’e esesjfsfshesal!! The fear of what’s to come.. CRIPlin’ me :( binch. Is this synth lowkey?? Brand it on my mind is such a great visual, like the “press my nose up to the glass around your heart” line.. Who wrote it. Oh is the sonG_ OOOOOOoooooOOOOOOoooooHHHH. Maggie rogers is that you? Hot dang

An upbeater!! Wipe those tears baby! Is this the just smoke of this album. This is.. Slip Away. “stoic smile” i see you… haha. Ooh this chorus is nice COME AND SUFFER HERE, LADIES! Mood!! Holding my breathe for you? F! In this violence of a mind’s eye… i like everything except maybe---- ohh this falsetto?? I’m.. i’m tearing.. Oooh we just found a song to cry to in the middle of the night, huh. It’s misleading with the beat vs. the lyrics.. I wouldn’t have it any other way!! Gosh i’m so depressed! Lol!! There’s a pulsing beat of some kind that’s nice.. Also some nice guitar work on here, some clackety things… go gently… be still…. Go gently….now… be still… Go Gentlyyyyy nowwwww, be stiiiilllll. Ugh they.. They’re doing this… i’m so proud of them wtf. Is this winston?? Who is singing.. Marcus?? I can’t.. Tell? No i think its marcus but we’ve truly never heard that high-end from him for that long

Okay: next song is pretty interesting- ooh! Right off the bat! This has to be the one they said sounded like ngalma? However you spell it… clap clap clap clap clap, this is a drum-machiner one for sure. I will be yours & you will be mine, ever our lives will be entwined binch! This noise after “my rose of sharon” is a mood. Ugh this is so cute.. Imagine being happy w/ someone else, what a concept ! eeeeeee yuh! That’s what they’re singing in the back.. My rose of sharon, my rose of sharon, BRR BRR BRN NER! Did the song-- what’s up with these abrupt endings

That being said, Picture You sounds v vibey right off the bat. Okay lads! I thought it best you didn’t knowww. I’m so proud of Marcus for flaunting these vocals, i stg, I’ve spoken on this before but... like he can do that!! I’m so glad he’s,, doing it! Ooh the “away” is v nice. I love full-stops in music, where the sound gets sucked out like here or just stops entirely… yes boys. Okay.. not crazy about this kind of.. Breakdown but it’s still cool. Just not in-rand as much as some other things. I mean, this sound is V different of course but they’re workin’ it. Okay i kind of stopped paying attention for a sec… there’s sampling… ohhh oh no it’s getting dark… hohoho no guys.. I’m excited but the anxiety is jumping out… holy smokes this is cool tho. It’s pretty. Hope that never comes, that comes to all.. Torture without end… yet from the great flames no light,,, but rather.. .DARKNESS VISIBLE. I’m gonna check if it didn’t seamlessly bleed into darkness visible…

Oh it did!! Their minds!! God, i already know i love darkness visible,, it was my pre-album listen fave on details about it alone,, we’re depressed sweeties let’s pop off… it’s so nice >:(. And just like that it ended!!!! BINCH!!! Ooh they’re like not even vocally in that one… i like that ish!! Not the “them not being in it” in that way but OOH! That was effing cool

If I Say: is still v v nice,, sounds effing expansive and beautiful with good headphones, i’m picking up all the lil details and prettiness.. The synth line after “if i say i love you, well then i love you” is sooo satisfying too. Ugh this orchestra,,, it’s building.. Truly their minds were so big on this album, huh. I’ll tell you what It doesn’t mean that i feel better! It doesn’t mean that I feel better! I’m, haha i still kinda hate this chorus but their so passionate i can’t hate it all the way,, like they love this ish and are into it & i love them so it’s allll good homies. I dig. I’ll be fake and wild out when they play it live, don’t worry. But peace you never find :( the guitar tone is crispyyyy,, the instrumentation… ugh it’s so nice. Violins can murder me or someat and I’d accept it. AND IF I SAY I LOVE YOU, THEN I LOVE YOUUUU. Ugh,, so so nice man

What’s NEXT: ooh some seamlessness in that transition.. .is this ghost of tom joad i’m hearing lol, mortal once again!! Oh this is a mood, freak.. Sigh no more marcus really jumped out on this one. This shuffling maraca thing is so nice. I’ll hold you by the jaw!! Hoo hoo bihhh. “It took a wild heart to tame mIIiine” this is so nice wtf!! Ugh this is so nice. I wouldn’t have you any other way,, awwwwwWWW!! Who want a love that makes sense anyway? I’ll effing say! Ugh this is very nice. These lyrics are so interesting… this is a good one guys, quiet & sweet but there’s some pretty cool things also going on, like it’s simple but its… this is it, ya know? This piano is sweet too. This whole thing is sweet, maybe that’s a dumb word to use but. This is so sweeeeet ugh!!! The vocal riffs on “mine” … ugh!! I kind of like the echoey vocals too.. Soft rain patter for two seconds at the end??

Reverse noises w/ a big breath from Marcus: let’s effing go w/ this album, gang!! What song is this reminding me of… whispers in the dark? He did some late-babel, early wilder mind voice thing.. Wait it’s forever isn’t it. I heard this one i think, like 3 yrs ago.. Yup, Dare I Say Forever.. I still don’t like do it for the girl” cos it’s too straightfoward, ,”i’ve known pious women” LOL where is this going. Only mumford & sons can really put that word in a song and just, keep singing. We stan tho, we stan. Think of london,,, we love. The DAAaaYS you defend will turn to gold,, this could easily be the last song on the album, this is like a last-call at the bar song,, in a good way, i’ve linked arms with my buddies & we’re all yelling this song like goons,, yes. Lighters a-waving,, are we too sentimental to not look back atnd!! WOW he realy did that with stare!! I couldnt finish typing that.. Is this part auto-tuned?? Dare I say.. Why? I’m choosing to hear it as a vocoder and many harmonies so i don’t hate that but uhaha they.. Hm they tried that i guess. Other than that the vi- oh why did the violin exit like that

The song is bouncing in my ears weird!! It’s giving me monster vibes atm. There’s a definite thread of messages goin thru this album & oof i love being sad,, the children come & go as you weep? Lol i love being sad. I am a waste?? My words are empty [as the bed we made]. Wilder mind is comin out on this, the album, huh!! The optimism on this album is-- I”LL MEET YOU OUT THE DELTAAA< WHERE THE RIVER”S RUINNING TO THE SEA,, GOD i love it. Ooh these drums, cool cool, it’s.. This is cool. Also sampling marcus’s children is sure way to eff everyone up, but that’s for another post,, ooooh i’m soft!! When it feels like nothing else matters :((((( lets go with this build!!! I wanna go for a run and have a cry.. Ooh man i took a moment there… this is so nice :( i’v missed them!!! Whats goin on with his vocals here,, the recording is like too close,, on purpose?? Hm. dust to dust!! I see you!! Marcus is truly giving his all here,, ugh I”m so proud of all of them, they put their LIVES on this, didn’t they!!! This song is such a feeling,, i can’t describe it i’m sad, but awwwW! I don’t kno wtf these kids are saying but wow that was cute as all heck!!! I”m so soft!! The album is over!! They did it!! Frick i don’t know how to feel!! Good really, but wow!!! Trying to not let my own sadness affect this review haha but !! what a nice body of work they produced!! In all the best ways, mostly!! I love them!!  I wanna have another listen!! Aw!!!! Frick guys. Frick. Can’t imagine anyone wants to slog thru this and have a read but,, anyway thanks if you did i guess, special thanks to Mumford & Sons for being my favorite band and always :( always being there when I need it. I needed this. wow. wow. Wowww!!!  Oof, haha i’m sad

Okay wait also he should’ve repeated the “I’ll meet you at the delta part” at least one more time but eff my criticism that song captures all stages of life and i truly wanna cry, so there’s that. Theses guys put it all out there & I really love them for that.

#mumford & sons #mumford and sons #oooof im sad!! #mumfamily #wow! #delta

[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

What Are You Listening To? Volume 2

“Is it LA sunny or Memphis blue Oh, I wish I knew, I wish I knew What are you listening to” -Chris Stapleton

Sooo…I know last time I penned this column and asked “What Are You Listening To,” I said this was going to be a weekly event—but what had happened was….I got lost. Lost in the music. Followed Alice down the rabbit hole of resplendent tunes where time stood still. Yeah, we’ll go with that. In the words of the great Colin Raye, “that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.” Life happens! HOWEVER, I am finally back with some solid songs you need to have constantly revolvin’ in your library like they do in mine. So, without further ado, I bring to you five of the best of the new new. Did ya hear that rhyme? I’m a poet and didn’t know it. (Ya’ll ignore me, I’m sleep deprived and halfway past silly, so just turn up these tracks, tune me out, and fall in love like I did!)

1) Shelby Lore, “I’m All In”

As much as I love the sad songs, I’m a sucker for a heartfelt love song that makes me actually WANT to fall in love again, and have it stick. Shelby Lore effortlessly accomplished that feeling with his recent single, “I’m All In.” His brooding, gritty vocals pair nicely with a lovesick melody that is primed and ready for summer slow dances under the stars. The romantic lyrics reflect upon a burgeoning relationship where the fella is promising his new lover that though “[he doesn’t] know where this is headed, and [he doesn’t] know where it will end, but if it comes down to sink or swim, [he’s] all in,” promising an enduring love rather than a one night stand. My initial listen of this song was the first time Shelby had crossed my radar, and by the end of it I was a huge fan, impatiently wanting to hear more....so I listened to “I’m All In” about ten times in a row, soaking in every iota of emotion, drowning in a well of my own lovelorn blues letting it both break and heal my heart at the same time. My most favorite part? ‘Twas when he’s reflecting on the first night they shared, with the promise he’d do it all over again if only he could rewind time. Swoooooon.

 2) Kudzu Killers, “I Won’t Drown”

From the first chord of “I Won’t Drown,” I knew it was my type of jam with its vibrant, southern rock-tinged sound. By the beginning of the single, I was hooked: “reckless heart and childish games, stoked my heart and set these flames, your gypsy heart ran wild and free, I just didn’t know it wasn’t with me.” MAN...what a way to start off a song and draw you in! The harmonica solo that enters after the second verse is enough to get you on your feet dancing and clapping along, if you weren’t already--and it’ll keep you rockin’ through the duration of the song. It’s a melodious look at redemption from the burn and scorn of a former flame, while simultaneously acting as a lyrical warning about the karma that will eventually come back around. While the single is a very well-written song, the melody is played out in such a rousing way that it takes a few listens before the gravity of the lyrics begins to set in--so make sure you give it a few listens. The Kudzu Killers are at the top of my list for “Bands to Watch” in 2021 and “I Won’t Drown” is the perfect example as to why. Trust me.

 3) Gabe Lee, “’Ol Smokey”

One of my favorite Nashville treasures, Gabe Lee, is a musical force to be reckoned with—I truly believe his talent knows no bounds. “’Ol Smokey” has become a favorite of mine to blast in the car with my windows down, singing my heart out because it’s just that GOOD. This tune can originally be found on Gabe’s 2019 debut release, Farmland, but here it gets re-cut with a bit more funky folk flavor that speaks right to my heart, featuring a rockin’ bluegrass band. Lee is a master storyteller, and I both admire and envy his craft as it typically leaves me spellbound. Here, he spins the tale of a heartsick, forlorn woman still bound by the shackles of the love she shares with a downtrodden man who just can’t seem to cross back over to the right side of the tracks, despite numerous chances. The lyrics allude to Lucy Ann watching the evolution of the demise of her relationship play out on a desolate TV screen as the boys in blue roll in, but perhaps its merely a metaphor of the storm brewing in the jail cell of her mind. Give it a listen and decide for yourself.

 4) Vodka Something, “Just So You Know”

Story time: One night while absentmindedly scrolling through social media, I came across this short clip on Instagram of a wickedly talented, shirtless, heavily tattooed guy with long braids and a backwards cap playing the most beautiful song on my favorite instrument and within seconds, I was hooked. The juxtaposition of the lovely, intricate melody with the eye-catching scene seen in the video drew me in almost instantaneously, and I’ve been enamored with “Just So You Know” since that evening. So enamored to the point that I cannot accurately fathom the words to describe it. To me, it’s a bit like emo bluegrass, as if Panic at the Disco bore a musical lovechild somewhere in the foothills of Kentucky with Bill Monroe. Alternative folk is likely a better categorization, but whatever it is, it’s perfect. The pickin’ of the banjo, the lyrics, the inflection and intonation of his voice, and the whole vibe of the song and music video are jaw dropping. I don’t ever assign numerical ratings to any music I review, but if I had to—I’d give this one a 1000/10 simply for how uniquely beautiful and soul-stirring it is. Consider this an important lesson in not judging a book by its cover and to give everyone a chance--you never know what magic you may find, if only you’ll lend an ear. Now, go do your homework and L I S T E N.

 5) Bella White, “Just Like Living”

Canadian songstress Bella White has found a loving home amidst the bluegrass genre making the style her own with her 2020 album release, Just Like Living. On the title track, her piercing voice is seeped in the folklore of the past, as the euphonic instrumentals pair perfectly with the lyrics to create the quintessential bluegrass track we’ve all been missing, yet it’s wrapped neatly in a new-age sound. At times, her mellifluous vocals remind me of a female Benjamin Tod with the subtle howl and cadence she has to her flow, and I have adored what I’ve heard so far with this coming-of-age tune about leaving home behind to chase love that always seems to be just quite out of reach. Not only does she utilize her voice as an instrument, but Bella is a true wordsmith weaving her words together both vividly and poetically, as evidenced from the very first verse: “The lights pourin’ through my window dressin’ everything up in gold, and I don’t know what I’m doin’ here, I left the howlin’ winds and the prairies to find some kind of idea, am I full or am I empty?” Wow. “Just Like Living” is a must listen.

-------------------------------------

Do me a favor--while you listen to these fabulous creations, tell someone you love ‘em today. Peace, love, and music, ya’ll. They make the world go round.

-Lyssa

[thisloveistaylorreputation]

For the ask thing: What do you think of that (unofficial) "new track" from the UPS ad? What's the best advice you've ever been given? What was your reaction when you found out you were going too Taylor's tours? Do you play instruments? Write songs/stories/poetry? What's the best book you've read? Sorry this is probably like way too much but I really love you and your blog and I know answering questions is fun, lol, so I hope this wasn't overwhelming!! (PS you and I have the same name!! Awesome!)

OKAY JUST A WARNING I AM S O SORRY THIS IS SUPER LONG

OMG OKAY FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR FOLLOWING MY BLOG AND BEING THE CUTEST SWEETIE EVER AND TWINNING NAMES WITH ME AND ASKING ALL THESE QUESTIONS I LOVE YOU (also dm me if you wanna be friends or something *hint hint wink wink* ❤️❤️❤️)

I think the UPS "New" track is a highly distorted version of the background vocals for a song off reputation. I don't think there's enough there for it to be a main part of the song, and since it's mostly repeating the same line I'm assuming background vocals. I don't really think at this stage I can say if I like it or not, but right now I'm leaning toward I like it, but not my favorite.

I'm literally like KNOWN for giving advice (I am wise beyond my years, I've been told). But I can't think of any specific time. Often I quote Taylor or the lessons she's taught me or things and ideas she's inspired me about.

OKAY SO this is a hard one to explain BUT!!! When I was little I didn't listen to music much. I heard the huge hits but didn't associate them with artist names. I jammed to fifteen, love story, you belong with me, mean, and mine, and later WANEGBT without EVER realizing that they were all Taylor. Around the time that the Red Tour came around I was 12/13 and just starting to get into music - emo, punk, and metal music. I reallyyyyy wanted to go to a concert and I was very vocal about it. So one day my mom says, Taylor Swift is going to be touring in the area, should we buy tickets? And I said, "I don't know who she is and I don't know her songs." (SHOCKING, I know). Tbh, I really wanted to go to a Fall Out Boy concert. Anyways, so we bought the Red cd and I started listening to it every day (but usually just got through the first half) and I liked it a lot!! We bought the tickets and on July 13th, 2013, we went to the Red Tour. We got there early, I bought the shirt with the album cover on it, and we sat alllll the way in the other end zone. She looked like a speck (but there were screens). Apart from the hits I didn't know the songs too well. She looked stunning, and after hearing her in between monologues during the tour I really fell in love with her and became a fan. It was a super fun atmosphere to be in!! Sadly, I lost all my tour videos. This was also when I found out that her favorite number was 13 (she talked about how it was super important that this concert be on the 13th). ALSO our special guest during the concert was Patrick Stump THE LEAD SINGER OF FALL OUT BOY so I died and looking back I got to see 2 of my faves it's so surreal. After the concert, I started listening to Red a LOT more, and started dabbing into her old stuff too (Our song was the first old thing I heard I think).

Okay so for 1989 I was more pumped because at this point I was a fan. I watched the livestream when it came out and bought the deluxe album on release day and set up 3 computers to buy tickets. We got better seats!!! I went to the concert wearing the red tour shirt and switched into my new 1989 tour shirt (the blue one). We saw a few people is costumes and were slightly confused (I was not a diehard swiftie or on tumblr at the time but I was keeping up with weekly Taylor updates and considered myself to be quite the fan). I also bought the drawstring bag and the 2 thin 1989 tour bracelets. Buying the tickets and leading up to the tour I was SO EXCITED because all I could remember is how amazing the last tour was and how it inspired me and changed my life forever and made me find Taylor. The tour was AMAZING!!! And I only lost my shake it off video!!! Haha.

I would add my thoughts for the reputation tour already but this is post is already long enough.

I play a lot of instruments. I've been playing the clarinet since elementary school. My first real expense was spending $100 to buy a flute. I bought a flute because all my friends at the time played the flute and it was uncool to be a clarinet player. I also felt ostracized in my section with no fellow clarinet friends or even other girls (I now realize that playing the clarinet has helped me to be one step closer to squidward). I picked up guitar after I begged for lessons so that I could play chords and cool rifts like all of my favorite band members. My guitar teacher basically told me that I'll never be good at guitar because my hands are p abnormally small and I eventually lost interest and faith in myself. I rediscovered guitar after watching a million of Taylor's acoustic performances back to back and bought myself a nice new guitar at the end of 2016 and began playing a lot, wanting to be good at playing despite my small hands and not caring about if my form was "correct" or not. I also can play a few chords to some of Taylor's songs on piano. I love singing and I try to do it as much as I can but I don't really sing with other people around and if I do I try to sound bad because I'm afraid that people will think my real singing voice is bad and I think it's decent so I don't want to ruin that.

I used to try writing stories but it's not really my forte. I have written quite a few songs ~50 with lyrics, music, and background. I'm hoping maybe I can try making a demo sometime next year in college. I would share and try to get a following or something, but I don't want any of my work stolen. I do write poems sometimes too, or sometimes poems turn into songs. My poems are usually very emotional, usually very sad.

I do not read often. It's partly because I don't have time, and partly because I feel uncomfortable reading. I have a reading problem (idk if it has an official diagnosis) where basically I read really slowly and sometimes I add words or skip words to sentences and I can't really understand things unless I am reading with my finger tracing under each word. I don't like reading because people usually judge me for the pace I'm reading at, or I can't put my finger under the words to help me or I'll be judged, or when people think I am dumb because of the struggles I have when it comes to reading. I'm not really a fan of fiction, so I'm currently reading a few self help books, the most recent called "make your bed". It's a short book that teaches you life lessons through short stories about a former Navy SEAL.

Sorry that this is so long! I hope you enjoyed!!! (If you did, please like this so that I can feel good about taking all this time to write it and knowing someone appreciates it) thank you so much!!!

Ask me more questions if you want (you probably won't want to after this long answer lmao)

#IM SO SORRY #ask #me #thisloveistaylorreputation

[convenience93]

Top 10 Favourite KPop Releases Jan - July 2017 Part 2

Now here’s my top 5 favourite KPop releases of January to July 2017. For No. 10 to no. 6, go here! 

Just a quick heads up, everything here is my own opinion, and is by no means factual. 

Well then, let’s go to the top 5!

5. Movie - BTOB

I think what I particularly enjoyed about this was how the individuality and role of each member of BTOB really stood out in this MV. They all took on roles suitable to their own personalities and characters, and the line distribution was also pretty good! I felt like everyone really shone in their own ways be it in their vocals, their quirkiness, their swag, their visuals, their acting skills etc. The song itself is a very old-school sound. It was as though you were sitting down and watching a marathon of old classic movies. Vocally, the boys always deliver too. The song itself is pretty different and unique from other recent popular KPop music offered by other boy groups, so it was nice change of pace and style. One of the members, Ilhoon, was the one in charge of being the one who composed the song, and it was a job well done indeed! I do think the song’s hook was a little weak though. But as always, they boys really made up for it with their strong and solid vocals and rap! That made the song really pleasant and entertaining even just to listen to!

4. Not Today - BTS

First of all, let’s talk about this music video’s cinematography. Love or hate BTS, the effects here are incredible, and this was just really filmed sooo well. Concept-wise I don’t think it was that original, but the boys and their slick dance moves and dance crew could make anyone gape in awe.  While I think out of all the BTS songs, this song does have the most punch and impact to it, if it wasn’t accompanied by the music video and dance choreography, I don’t think the song would have been as powerful. As a standalone, I do enjoy the song and think that is good. But I also think it does get slightly repetitive. While it has everything to be a catchy KPop hit, I wouldn’t really call the composition and arrangement anything out of the ordinary if that makes sense. Lyrics were decent though, and the message was good. The song fulfilled its purpose to be a song that would be a hit with audiences, but I actually find its visual aspects like the stunning MV and the dance choreography to be more striking and memorable than the song itself alone. That’s why this release just fell short of my top 3.

3. Yesterday - Block B

Top 3 was honestly a tough call for me. This music video was meant to have a comical feel to match the comical mood of the song, and it really delivered in that! But what I loved most about this release was the song itself. From the first second of this song until the end, I found myself completely hooked to this song. While songs like Movie and Not Today were really good enjoyable songs, when it comes to the hook, both wane completely to this song. The fun, upbeat tone of this bubblegum pop song could really make anyone smile. It’s such a feel-good song!! What a jam!!! Too bad, this song was really only released digitally, so it didn’t get as much media attention. Also, it wasn’t Block B’s leader, Zico, who composed this song. He did help out with it I think but the one who was the song’s composer this time Park Kyung, the guy who starts the song. And really hats off to him because it’s been a while since I’ve got a song stuck in my head like that after only 20 seconds into it haha.

2. GOOD NIGHT - Dreamcatcher

Dreamcatcher are actually fairly new to me, but the moment I listened to this song, I knew it was going to be one of my top jams. I thought this was very unique of them because while you can hear songs like this in Japan for anisongs, they are a lot rarer in Korea. I love the rock, badass style of the song and the intriguing MV to go with it! They also had another song before this called Chase Me, but I thought Good Night had a stronger hook, and it also came off more dramatically imo.  I love their gap too. Visually, they look like they could be a typical Korean girl group, but they are a lot more badass than that. It’s just everything about this works to accentuate the song itself from the song’s melody, arrangement, MV colour scheme, the girls’ expressions, and even just the way the instruments were utilised to create such a masterpiece. Tbh I actually think it’s even better than some of the anisongs out there. The production level of the song is just amazing. A dark, catchy song with powerful vocals and a kickass dance. Totally my kind of jam!

1. ANTI - ZICO feat. G. Soul

Hahah one creepy MV after another. But this time we have ZICO from Block B with a solo piece. Even this MV started kinda eerily like the Dreamcatcher MV lol. Ok real talk though, I just discovered this song recently, and I was mindblown. I don’t usually spazz and make a lot of noise about KPop lyrics because I never really find them that impressive, but once in a while, ZICO writes something and my jaw literally DROPS.

You can check out the lyrics to ANTI here: https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2017/07/zico-anti-feat-g-soul

Just looking at the lyrics, I was amazed at how real and raw the lyrics were. Everything he depicted and wrote in the song I’ve actually seen “fans/antis” like that...and it’s true how there are times fans to a certain extent as the customers treat artists/idols like “products” they expect to satisfy their needs and expectations rather than human beings. Even if they are trying their best to please their audience, these “fans” will always find something negative to bring the artist/idol down. It’s sad but it’s true. 

Some people may think of ZICO lyrics as just an angry rant to the world which I guess in some ways it is. But I also think it’s a really realistic portrayal of what they as celebrities in the showbiz have to go through, and how they sometimes have to suck it up if they want to survive. It’s so profound and something I feel myself being able to really connect to.

As for the song itself, the moment it starts with G. Soul’s vocals, my eyes widened. This is my first time listening to him, but his voice sounds so good in this; it’s like a perfect fit?! Then ZICO came up with his rap, and I’m not that knowledgeable about rap, but his sense of rhythm always is such a pleasure to listen to. Both this song’s melody and rhythm is just so dramatic and addictive - this was just such an amazing collab. I saw some people comment this, but the feel does really remind me of something Eminem. 

The music video itself was so really interesting to watch and I really liked all the symbolisms that seemed to be going on in the MV. It was 4 minutes long but the song really went by way too fast for me. I don’t know whether there’s gonna be anything later in this year that’s going to be capable of topping this, but it’s gonna be very hard since this song really ticked all the boxes for me. ZICO really outdid himself this time!

#kpop #january to july #2017 #block b #btob #bts #day6 #dreamcatcher #g. soul #im hyunsik #mamamoo #zico

[verwelktesgedicht]

Special vk moments in Japan (2019)

After 2 1/2 years I returned to Japan. Mostly this time I met friends and went to concerts. Since I would like to make my tumblr a bit more personal again I decided to text a bit about this and write down about the moments and concerts that touched me the most. Well, actually I write a few things about all concerts I went to this time but.. you will notice which one touched me the most xDD If you want to know more about one or anything else.. please just send me a message ^^

First of all, my first concert after returning to Japan: an Arlequin oneman! I actually wanted to see Royz live that day but ticket prices for fan-sold tickets were ridiculous, even for bad numbers. Regular kombini-tickets had soo bad numbers at that time that it was like... standing in the hallway. And travelling to that city where they played would have cost me too much for it being worth standing in the hallway. So I wondered if there is any other concert I might be interested in to go instead and i decided 3 days before the concert that I will stay in Osaka to see Arlequin live instead of Royz in Hamamatsu. Other way I wouldn’t have seen Arlequin while I would see Royz at their 10th anni. So, Arlequin was so much better than expected! It sounds mean but let me tell you: I DID enjoy every of their taiban/twoman I went to so much. Just for some reason the oneman I went to in 2015.. wasn’t the best live ever. Some parts of the live were so boring?! So I realized, maybe Arlequin just isn’t a oneman band but a taiban band for me. Because their taibans were so damn fun! Anyway, I went to see them live in Sep 2019 because i wanted to see them and it was the only chance for that trip! And it was SO good. It felt like they improved a lot - performance-wise and setlist-wise. Aki’s talk improved a lot. He got so emotional?! --> I got so emotional?!? They even made me cry at one point.... I was like wtf. But somehow... it might also because it made me feel like “Damn. I guess I forgot what it feels like. This is it. Live houses are truly my home.”???? “Utopia” was really great because we all messed up the “lalala”-part... 3 times. We could do the melody but not the very ending of it but Aki didn’t want to have any of that shit and let us do it over and over again WITHOUT SHOWING US THE CORRECT MELODY!! It just broke when we didn’t know how to continue. It was so funny actually xD Embarassing and funny. In the end he helped us. I’m still a bit sad I couldn’t see a small live house live of Royz but I am very happy I went to see Arlequin again. I’m fine with how things turned out!

Next was kizu-DIAURA-twoman (with gulu gulu as opening act). It was fun! I wanted to see kizu live so much ^__^ And I’m happy I finally did because them and arlequin are the bands I listen to the most during the past 1-2 years. But after them DIAURA played and I realized how high-quality DIAURA’s performances are xDD They are so GOOD! I took my not-vk-fan-friend with me and she enjoyed it too ^___^ And I got MASTER’s ゴミ aka water bottle.

Then I saw alice nine live?!? Spontanously decided. The live was nice. I’m so happy i FINALLY saw them. After 12 years. And they played shunkashuuto with Tora singing (... trying to sing. xDD). NOSTALGIA kicked through!!!

Then I went to see ACME at a taiban. It was my first live of them and it was great! I ended up in Saizen.. and need to write about this in another entry because holy shit.

GUILD was special. I saw them spontaneously back in 2015 and 2014. once as oneman, once as 2man and once at a taiban. Before that I saw them in 2010 in Europe without actually knowing them. It was 1 year after they formed. So.. it’s quite interesting to see them every 4 years xDD I see their improvement. Their change. The live was very nice and funny. I went with 2 friends. One of them I saw GUILD in 2010 together with. I really like GUILD’s songs and enjoyed the live a lot since.. they were on hiatus for quite some time so there aren’t TOO many songs I don’t know. And even the new songs I knew more or less xD It was a lot of nostalgia. And a lot of fun. I missed GUILD and I’m glad they are back.

We spontaneously saw LEZARD and DaizyStripper live next. I was so so happy to see Sora again. I didn’t since I went to my last ALIVE live in 2015. So it was really nice.... I loved to see him having fun!! I loved to see him being in a band he enjoys and belongs to. I’m really glad he seems fine ^^ That was all that counted for me that day! And Daizy were more fun than I expected. Saw them at an open air live in 2014 and it was.. okay. But this 2man was a blast. I was surprised!

Gazette tourfinal at Yokohama Arena was a cool experience but we stood/sat quite in one of the highest rows and were far (not the most in the back but far) from stage, so.. well, yeah. It was a nice experience but I guess I prefer smaller lives?? Best moment was probably when Kai shout without microphone xD his usual “kakattekoi!!” could be heard EVERYWHERE and I was like “so this is what it sounds like live.” and loved it.

One of the lives that made me the happiest was HELLO. taiban. I wanted to see Aki live, my ALIVE boy xD But then I noticed that Nao (ex-ALIVE as well), would be support guitarist for that live and it couldn’t be better??? I ended up in saizen kami2 because the saizen girl wasn’t there for ALIVE and nobody wanted to be in saizen for the support guy and she BEGGED me to be in saizen when she found out I considered being there. So I was 1st row almost in front of Nao. It was soo great ._. I had perfect view on him and Aki and since at least Nao knew I would be there...... Not gonna brag stuff like “omg his smile was so cute T___T” ... but I loved seeing him smile at me. I loved seeing him kinda happy? He looked happy at least ^^ Nao isn’t in a band anymore but I think he does miss that time. At least it looked like that xD I don’t think they have THAAAT many fans. I mean... saizen was free right of me. But yeah, those were the support-spots, so maybe it was because of that xDD Anyway, I loved it. I loved to see them live again. I would love to see them live once again. I’m really so so happy I could go to this live. I mean, I didn’t know the furi well but I had a great Aki-gya next to me who was sooo nice and tried to help me and showed me the furi clearly while doing them during the songs. She even gave me their new CD as gift afterwards! It was only a taiban, so it was very short and I waited through 6 other bands of which I cared for only one but I definitely count this concert as one of the best during that trip. One of the few ones that made me the happiest. Because I could see the boys of the band smile that once were my (closest to-)honmei.

Another highlight of the trip was R-Shitei’s concert in Mito. I was sick and my voice was GONE that day. Really. Gone. I don’t know if this ever happened to me before but ... I couldn’t have ANY conversation. Anyway, the live was really fun!! And... at one point Mamo pointed at us saying that foreigners are here too today and if we’re having fun........ I screamed inside for two reasons: - First.. mamo-nii-chan noticed us ûu ..... xDDDD - Second: “... I NEED to answer but what if my voice isn’t existent again??” And my friend can’t speak Japanese so she had no idea what was going on...... I shout a bit during the live and sometimes it started working again a bit, sometimes it just died right away, so I took my chances and shout as loud as I could “Haaaaai!!” and ended it here because it came out fine and I didn’t want to tempt fate... xDDD I also met a friend from my year in Japan - by chance! She actually said she won’t go but she ended up there anyway xD Nice girl! She helped me with quite a few important things back then.

Then Royz’ 10th anni. When I went to their 5th anni I told myself I will be back for the 10th one. And I made it. 5 years ago I had no idea where I would be in 2019 and how my life would be and if Royz was even still around. But I told myself... if there is any chance for me to go to their 10th anniversary I would do it. I decided for the time of this trip because of this concert. Tbh, I was a bit pissed it was the very first time they made the anniversary live their tour final and also the very first time they held their anniversary in Tokyo. They always held it in their hometown Osaka. But maybe that time is over now. I wanted it to be in Osaka. But anyway...... You have to go with the flow? The live was nice! And the song Anniversary made me cry. I love the lyrics so much!? Also, they talked about Kazuki and his messages that morning. And ACROSS WORLD made me the happiest. It was the last song (of course?) and I was so happy... And seeing the people around me smile like crazy made me even happier xD I know I am not the best Royz fan anymore. I know maybe someone who is more of a fan should lead Royz-yade. I lost them a bit during the past years. But they are still awesome and I still enjoy their music and their concerts. I have so many memories connected to them and I won’t give up on them ^_^ I still love them. I am still happy for every step they make. For every goal they archive. Also, I talked to Kento!? xDDD Pretty boy.

R-Shitei in Wakayama was fun but Mito was more fun xD So no real review here. Except for... they played THREE ENCORE!

Last but not least, ACME. Nice concert! But the fans were strange... Yes, it was a small concert but nobody really called their names like bangya use to. Nobody shout. Many didn’t dance along. It was very strange?!? The band itself was great though! The songs are great, they are funny, their performance is good - and SHOGO is desperately afraid of guitar solo... xDD

I said last but not least, but actually... there was another concert xDD I went to see ALTL. It’s a tiny idol group with bandmen, one of them I like from his previous bands xD So.. actually I wanted to go with a friend but she didn’t make it so I went alone. And it was SO strange. It was in a club/small live house thingy and it was so strange to be there for an idol group??? The fans were different. The atmosphere was different. THE MUSIC WAS DIFFERENT XDDD But it was fun in the end? Way more than I thought. And you could take 2shots with your favorite member and talk a bit. I took.. 3 ûu” for 3000 Yen xD I enjoyed it but I felt lost xD I mean, I’ve been to many vk concerts alone. Also to very very small ones with only like 15 people. But at least that is my scene ^^” At least I knew what to do and what to expect. With that idol concert I was completely lost xDDD But I’m really glad I still went!

#vk #personal #text

[hey-kids-want-some-avengers]

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84,85,86,87,88,89,90,91,92,93,94,95,96,97,98,99,100 (lol, I'm sorry)

Holy mother of- alright, I did this to myself. Answers are below the cut!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal! I’m hella lactose intolerant so I rarely even have milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Sometimes, it depends if I was already too cold or not.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Usually I use drawings or a bit of cardboard.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I take my tea with a little honey and my coffee with lots of flavored creamer.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? VERY MUCH YES

6: do you keep plants? Cacti mostly:)

7: do you name your plants? YEP

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Pencil or acrylic, though I’m digging clay now.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I spend almost every hour of every day singing, it’s one of my absolute favorite things!

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? back or side depending on how my jaw is doing.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? OH GoD, so many...

12: what's your favorite planet? Mars >3

13: what's something that made you smile today? I got to spend all day with my pupper AND I got called for an interview tomorrow.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Brick walls, lots of floor space for art, ect. a window seat, high ceilings and a cozy atmosphere please and thank you.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of our solar systems mass is the sun. :3

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Baked Penne!

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? It’s already blue but I wanna do it red, orange and yellow at some point for a crazy fire look.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. The time I jumped off the lid to my friends hot tub and hit my head, knocking myself unconscious and almost dying.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Kinda, it’s mostly art and random facts??

20: what's your favorite eye color? Blue

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My art bag that looks like a freaking paint towel at this point.

22: are you a morning person? Ye!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Write, draw, take a bath and bake.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Yes, my bestfren Chloe -w-

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? An abandoned house down the block while chasing a cat. There was some guy sleeping in there.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My red Converse!

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Wintergreen

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset, for sure.

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? She blushes in her ears and gets really shy around guys.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Umm, yes. When my mom had emergency surgery.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. OKAY, I LIKE SOCKS, I WEAR EM ALL THE TIME AND THEY NEVER MATCH. BOOM.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I went to down my iced tea and found out too late that it was my dads whiskey and I got drunk off my ass.

33: what's your fave pastry? oooh, I love pastries with all my heart, probably lemon bars.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It’s in my room somewhere, a little weasel puppet named “wonder weasel” and I made him a mask.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yes, I keep at least one on me at all times.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Panic!

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I reaaaaally like it clean but it never happens. I’m a pig.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! I hate when people never show up on time, ignore me when I’m talking to check their phones and I hate when people pretend to like me.

39: what color do you wear the most? Black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? It’s a bumble bee necklace my sister got me and I love it.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The book thief.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! It’s a local place here and they make really pretty pastries and coffee, it’s very modern inside but it’s cozy and everyone’s super nice. It smells like autumn leaves and spices.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? myself???

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Last week in a bath tbh

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes and no? It kinda depends but I usually second guess myself.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I changed my ipods name to titanic. It’s syncing now. (I hate myself)

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? LETTUCE

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Burning alive, and it kinda is kinda isn’t still.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I like to but I never have money, the last one was a panic! at the disco cd.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? Fish????? I have five tanks in my room ok????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Can’t help falling in love with you and phantom of the opera (my gf) IM CHEESEY

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? THEY ALL SUCK

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I’ve seen all but pulp fiction and I adore them all, beetlejuice is one of my favorite movies.

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Besides myself idk

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? I don’t even know honestly.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Their sense of humor, laugh and comfortableness.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Doesn’t it always?!

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? My friend hates wine but is totally the wine mom, sooo that makes me the vodka aunt bc I only have one friend.

59: what's your favorite myth? Icarus

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? YES! I love the raven, tyger and the tell tale heart??

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Socks for received I guess? Probably the dumbest thing I’ve given was a dirty shirt to my friend????

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Almost always, grape or orange usually. 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I’m really particular about them and I don’t let anyone touch em.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Ink black.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? My gf..; ;

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Seashells, blue flowers and tiny pink ones, probably a lil glitter.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? They feel relaxing to me.

68: what's winter like where you live? ITS LIKE A NEVER ENDING HELLL

69: what are your favorite board games? Fury of Dracula, d&d, ect.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Yep! I own one.

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? cranberry??

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? YES. My ADHD is scary bad ok.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Not eating healthily/not drinking enough, secluding myself.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Humorous, kind and caring and wonderful and supporting. The most fantastic person to live.

75: tell us about your pets! OK!!!!!! I have three cats, a tabby (ponyo), a massive grey one(rory) and a smol floofy white and black one(lydia). I have four betta fish, Lafayette, Remus, Pietro, and Marvel. I have 12 guppy/platty and I could list their names but I wontttt, and my sweet pupper girl, Matilda

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Writing requests..............

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? HATE

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My girlfriend sent me chocolates and my fren bought me a bee pillow, they’re pretty great.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Light purple and I didn’t choose them, my mom painted that room before she got sick so I kept it.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Deep sand washing over dark beaches and charcoal mixed in a vat of dark clay.

82: are/were you good in school? No, not really. I listened tho

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Pretty odd, believers never die, infinity on high

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have two right now and I have MANY more planned.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? OF COURSE, CAPTAIN AMERICA AND DEADPOOL, SANDMAN EVEN THO THAT DON’T REALLY COUNT.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? um? Nirvana? Am I doing this right?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Perks of being a wall flower, three idiots.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? All of them??

89: are you close to your parents? I like to think so

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Ohhh um, I dunno, probably Denver?? I’m really isolated.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’m going to Denver for a concert and a huge road trip to California this summer to see my family.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? It GoN DRoWN SOn

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Down. It’s too short for anything.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My grandpa

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Hanging with my fren and watching shameless.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Sadly, I put them off until it does it automatically. I regret it every time.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Advocate, Taurus, hufflepuff! 

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Yesterday and I loved it.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Hamilton tbh, think of me, riptide and I found.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Five years into the past because I’m not fucking ready to grow up.