#i gave everyone who came across my posts headaches at this point

[sebastianstangirl01]

I’m not going anywhere

Title: I’m not going anywhere

Pairing: Chris Evans x Daughter!Reader and Sebastian Stan x Niece!Reader

Warnings: Teen pregnancy, talks of abortion, scared reader, jerk boyfriend, supportive dad Chris.

Summary: Reader finds herself to be pregnant.

Authors Note: I hope you guys liked my first Chris Evans Daughter writing. Please message me any requests you have, it would make writing so much easier!! In my pinned post is everyone that I write for and things I don’t write for!! I hope you guys like this next writing!!

Reader is 16

Y/N = Your Name

Pregnant

That was all that was going through Y/N’s head as she sat in her bathroom, against the bathtub holding 4 clear blue pregnancy tests in her hands.

The word “Pregnant” displayed across every screen.

How could she let this happen, how did this happen? They were safe, always used a condom and Y/N is on birth control anyway for her period but as a plus it protects her from pregnancy.

Or at least it was suppose to.

She couldn’t imagine her dads reaction. Being a famous actor was hard enough, but when the news broke that Chris Evans 16 year old daughter was knocked up. It could ruin his career, and Y/N didn’t want that she knew how hard Chris has worked to get to the point he is today.

They had been living in a apartment in New York for 2 months because of Chris filming a new movie, and as always that meant that Y/N was pulled out of school and away from her friends and boyfriend.

Y/N and Blake had been dating for a little over a year and had been sexually active, not thinking anything would ever happen because of the precautions that they took.

Blake.

How was she going to tell him? Sure they have been together for a while but they were only kids, Blake is 17 and Y/N is 16. Surly he won’t walk out on her, he loves her.

Y/N sighed before picking up her phone, she decided to go on and call Blake who was back home in Los Angeles.

“Hey babe.” Blake answered

“Hey, could we maybe FaceTime. I have something to tell you and it kinda needs to be face to face and I guess with us being on opposite sides of the country right now FaceTime is as close we can get.” Y/N said fiddling with a string on her sweater

“Yeah sure. Hold on.” Blake said hanging up making Y/N sigh

A few second later Blake’s name popped up on her screen, taking a deep breath Y/N accepted the call and gave him a smile as his face popped up onto the screen.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Blake asked with a concerned look on his face

“I-I uh, I don’t know how to tell you this so I’m just going to say it. I’m pregnant.” Y/N said making Blake’s face drop

“What? Your fucking pregnant?!” Blake exclaimed

“Yeah, I took 4 tests and they all came back positive.” Y/N said

“Get rid of it!” Blake exclaimed making Y/N look at him with wide eyes

“What?” Y/N asked

“I said get rid of it. We can’t have a baby, I don’t want a stupid baby! Do you know how much my reputation will be ruined? No way, either get rid of it or we’re done.” Blake shook his head as Y/N eyes filled with tears

“Done? What? I knew that obviously you wouldn’t be happy and I’m not exactly happy about this either. Your reputation isn’t the only one at stake her, my dad is literally famous if word gets out about this his career could be ruined.” Y/N said

“Exactly, so get rid of it. It will save everyone a headache.” Blake said

“You know I’m against all that stuff, I don’t believe in abortion and I’m not getting rid of it.” Y/N said, she had seen everything that happened during an abortion before in health class and she refused to put herself and the baby through all that.

“Fine, but I want no part in any of this. We’re done.” Blake said hanging up

Y/N just stared blankly at the phone, she couldn’t believe that Blake had said what he did and that now they were over.

How was she going to raise a baby alone? Her dad would hate her, he’d probably kick her out for being such a disappointment.

The only thing she could do was leave before he kicked her out. Y/N got up off the floor and washed her face with some cold water, her eyes were red and swollen from all the crying she had done the past few hours. She went into her temporary room and pulled out her big travel suitcase, she quickly grabbed as many of her clothes as she could. Not sure when her dad would be home, she decided to take as much as she could now and figure the rest out later.

She finished packing her stuff and sat it on the ground, she looked at the nightstand and smiled sadly. There was the picture she takes everywhere, it was Chris holding Y/N when she was a baby. He looked so young but you could practically feel the happiness beaming off him, his smile shines through the frame.

Leaving her dad is the hardest thing she’s ever going to have to do, but she knows that it will be for the best.

She grabbed the picture and stuck it in her suitcase then grabbed a piece of paper and decided to just leave Chris a note, offering a little bit of an explanation so he wouldn’t think that she was kidnapped or something.

Dear Dad,

I’m sorry I’m leaving but I can’t disappoint you. I love you so much and you have been the best dad in the world. Please don’t look for me, it’s for the best that I go.

Love, Y/N

Wiping a tear that escaped the corner of her eye, Y/N grabbed her suitcase and walked out of the apartment.

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Sebastian was sitting on his couch clicking through the channels and sipping on a beer when there was a knock on his door. He got up and answered it but paused when he saw Y/N standing outside with a big suitcase and red eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong? What are you doing here sweetheart? Come in.” Sebastian said gently grabbing Y/N and pulling her into his apartment.

“I messed up, I needed a place to stay and you were the first person I thought of.” Y/N said not making eye contact as she played with her fingers which Sebastian noticed

Sebastian has known Y/N since 2011 when he and Chris had filmed Captain America: The First Avenger. He quickly took Y/N under his wing as a friendship formed between him and Chris leading to Sebastian becoming Y/N’s Uncle Seb.

“Sit down, tell me what’s going on.” Sebastian said leading Y/N over to the couch

“I can’t, you’ll hate me too.” Y/N shook her head as her eyes filled with tears, not catching Sebastian’s confused face

“Hate you? Sweets I could never hate you, never in a million years!” Sebastian said pulling Y/N into his arms. “Is that why you ran? Did you think that your dad would hate you for whatever it is? Because that’s ridiculous, you are the most important thing in your dads life. You are his everything and nothing could ever make him hate you.”

“You don’t know that. It’s bad Uncle Seb.” Y/N shook her head

“Try me.” Sebastian said making Y/N sigh

“I’m pregnant.” Y/N said looking down

Sebastian’s eyes widened and he took a deep breath trying not to show how he really felt. Him being mad wasn’t going to help anything, and it wasn’t that he was really mad it was just that he wished she didn’t have to go through something like this at such a young age.

“Ok, here’s what’s going to happen. Your going to go upstairs to your room here and sleep, you look exhausted. In the morning we’ll talk and figure this out, if you still really think leaving is the best then you can come live with me. But you will not be on the streets alone. I won’t let you go through this alone.” Sebastian said and Y/N nodded

“Thanks. I’m sorry.” Y/N said

“We’ll talk in the morning. Go on.” Sebastian said before pulling her into his side and kissing her forehead before ushering her towards the stairs

A few minutes later there was a frantic knock on the door, Sebastian sighed feeling like he knew who was behind the door. He got up off the couch and opened the door to find a frantic Chris, his eyes were all red his hair disheveled and he seemed out of breath.

“She’s gone, I need your help. Y/N’s gone, I came home from filming and she was gone. Her room was basically empty and she left me a note saying that she needed to leave because she couldn’t disappoint me and that it was for the best. What does that even mean, how could she ever think I would be disappointed by her. She’s my babygirl and I love her more than anything, I need to find her Seb. She must be so scared out there on the streets of New York all alone.” Chris rambled as he pushed past Sebastian into his apartment and paced

“Chris! Dude calm down. She’s here.” Sebastian said grabbing his friends arm

“What? She’s here?” Chris asked with wide eyes

“She is, come sit down before you walk a hole through my floor. I don’t think Ms. Edna would appreciate that.” Sebastian said, thinking about his neighbor who would constantly beat on her ceiling with a broom when Sebastian was “too loud”.

���How long has she been here? Where is she?” Chris asked looking around

“She got here around 30 minutes ago, she’s asleep in her room. She was really upset.” Sebastian said

“What happened?” Chris asked confused to what would make his daughter so upset that she felt like she had to leave

“I think it’s best that she tells you, go upstairs and see her. Your welcome to stay the night, I’m going to hit the hay.” Sebastian said standing up

“Thanks for being there for her Seb. She loves you a lot.” Chris said

“I love her too, night.” Sebastian said

“Night man.” Chris nodded watching as Sebastian walked down the hall to his room

Chris sighed and rubbed his face, when he came home to an empty apartment he was confused. Dodger was staying with Scott since the apartment building was a no pets zone, so Y/N was all he had. And when he couldn’t find her anywhere and found that note, he felt like his whole life shatter before his eyes.

Y/N is truly the best thing to ever happen to him and life without her is something he doesn’t even want to consider.

Chris decided to go on up and see her so he could figure out what was wrong and find a way to help her. Chris walked up the stairs and to Y/N’s room that she claimed when she was 8. He opened the door to see Y/N curled up asleep on the bed with tear marks down her cheeks making him sigh.

Chris closed the door behind him and slipped off his shoes quietly making his way over to the side of the bed, he sat down behind her and rubbed her back. Y/N’s eyes fluttered open and she locked eyes with her fathers.

“Dad? How’d you find me?” Y/N asked quietly

“I know you. I knew you would go somewhere you feel safe.” Chris said

“You shouldn’t be here, I left to protect you.” Y/N said

“Last I checked I’m the dad, I’m suppose to protect you. Not the other way around.” Chris said wiping her cheek

“We protect each other.” Y/N said

“We do. And in order to do my job I need to know what’s going on. Why’d you run bug?” Chris asked pulling her to sit up

“I don’t want you to hate me.” Y/N whimpered

“I could never hate you, ever. You are my daughter and I love you more than anything in this world. There is nothing that could ever happen that would make me think of hating you.” Chris said grabbing her face gently and making her look into his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“I’m pregnant. I’m so sorry daddy. I’m so so sorry.” Y/N cried and Chris pulled her into his arms rocking her back and forth like he use to do when she was a baby.

“It’s ok, it’s ok bug. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this together I promise.” Chris said kissing her forehead.

No matter how shocked he was about this news Chris knew that getting mad wouldn’t help anything. All he could do was be there for her and help her raise this baby if that’s what she chose to do.

No matter what, Chris will always be there for his daughter.

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#chris evans daughter #chris evans fluff #chris evans x daughter!reader

[babu-haitani]

RANDOM and LOCO (Tokyo Revengers)

Genre: Fluff, Crack, Mostly Crack, Suggestive, SMAU

Pairings: Bonten x FEM! Reader

TW: This Series may contain Spoilers from Bonten ARC and it may also contain mentions of suggestive themes, use of cocaine, definitely a lot of cussing, and mainly SANZU. Don't pretend ya'll don't know why Sanzu is in the warning...

A/N: This is just a series I came up with because I need to post my jokes somewhere! I'm a verified clown (That can both mean negative and positive POV's)

RANDOMNESS 4 |Masterlist| RANDOMNESS 5

Arriving at the scene, you were greeted by a strong scent of cocaine, nicotine and the smell of sex and alcohol all mixed together. Heading to the VIP Lounge to where your "KIDS" are staying, you showed your tattoo that was placed on your collar bone to the guard in front of the door. Nodding his head, he let you in.

The room was filled with 8 women swarming over the executives who were high and happily seating on the couch while drinking booze.

Sanzu was snorting cocaine while giving some to the women beside him.

Mikey was unconsciously laughing and swinging a knife.

Ran who was being handsy with 3 girls, slid his hand to one of them and swiftly removed her bra as he threw it across the room.

Rindou on the other hand was in the same situation as Mikey, he was unconsciously laughing while drinking some strawberry-flavored vodka while swaying left and right like a mad man.

The other two, Koko and Mochi, who you sent earlier was on the verge of tears because of the chaos. Walking over to them, you gave them a light pat but instead of feeling safe and secure; they felt shivers as you stared at them with your eyes twitching and the corner of your mouth visibly twitching indicating that you were pissed and was trying not to lash out and throw a bottle.

Standing in the middle of the room, you snapped your fingers, and like the god you are; you caught everyone's attention. It was like on command, I mean...It wasn't their fault...They recognized that snap anywhere, especially when chaos they would remember the chaos that happened when they disregarded that "SNAP".

"You four, go back in the car. NOW" You hissed, one of the girls that Ran was smoldering with kisses walked over to you with a snicker on her face.

"And who are you?" She asked, her eyes trailing up and down as she judged you from head to toe.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you..." Ran and Koko spoke in unison, your face remained the same. Stoic yet enough for the 6 men in the room to swoon over you. The girl in front of you let out a chuckle.

"Or what? Don't tell me you boys are scared of plain-looking ass girls, Do you even take showers? You look like a stressed mother" The girl cooed at you as she took a strand of hair and flicked it on your face making you scrunch your nose. Taking a deep breath, you smiled.

"If you continue on doing that, I'll point that knife---" You spoke, pointing at the knife Mikey was playing with.

"And stab you in your eye to make you more pretty, Second, Yes, I take showers unlike you who does take showers who look good and sexy but I swear to god. Your breath stinks" You heard the six men chuckle at your bluntness, Mikey standing up and went to sit on your leg to cuddle it. You looked down and smiled softly then looked back up to continue speaking.

"I'm sorry if I looked like a mother, aside from taking care of eight men who give me constant headaches, I also have work. You see, I don't rely on other people or go clubbing when I know damn well that I don't have any money. The fake Prada shoes kinda give it away that you don't have any" Grabbing Mikey by his shoulder, you lifted him up and slowly guided him. Leaving the girl you roasted crying on the floor.

"Ran, Go take care of your brother. Koko, and mochi, I expect you both to take care of Sanzu" and with that, you left and headed back to your car.

Driving through the brightly lit road of Shibuya, Mikey sat on your passenger seat as he eyed the city through the window.

"Y/N..." Mikey called out, stopping the car at the red light; you looked over at him in confusion.

"What is it?" You asked, Mikey looked at you and stared at you, The corner of his eyes have tears in them. He studied your features before speaking up.

"Thank you...for always taking care of us, We know were a pain in the ass especially Sanzu but you still put up with our shits despite having constant headaches" Mikey apologized as he looked at you, You turn your head back to the road and started driving again. It was silent...

"Yeah, you guys are a constant headache especially sanzu but if it weren't Ran and Rindou wand with your approval...I wouldn't be able to graduate and have a job as a Doctor, Yeah I'm a doctor of Japan's Most Dangerous Criminal Organization but it's still a job that pays well and What's life with no excite-" Turning your head to look at Mikey, you saw that he fell asleep.

The drive to his penthouse continued in pure silence as you smile to yourself. It was true that you were always mentally tired because of the boys but they love you dearly and care for you.

Maybe that's the reason why you can't seem to quit even if you know damn well that Mikey and the others would respect your decision in leaving this dangerous lifestyle as Bonten's Doctor. They already have a special place in your heart and leaving them gives you severe heartache.

Opening the door to Mikey's Penthouse, you walked inside, not even bothering to remove your shoes as you entered his bedroom and dropped him down on his bed; planting a soft kiss on his forehead, you removed his flip flops and tucked him with his blanket, and even went ahead to place a bucket next to him just in case.

You silently left his penthouse, locked the door, and quickly went back to your car. You let out another sigh.

"It's worth it..." You mumbled before started driving and going back to HQ.

It was worth it, The chaos, The danger, The Headaches, You felt at home and you felt appreciated. It was worth it.

BONUS: "Mochi! Can you fucking stop Sanzu from poking my face?!" Koko yelled, on the verge of stepping on the gas or maybe even constantly banging his head on the steering wheel. "Sanzu! fucking stop before I shoot your brains out!" Mochi yelled as he smacked Sanzu, The pinkenette let out a loud whine as he slumped himself on the back seat. "You guys are no fun! No wonder Y/N doesn't prefer you guys!" Hearing what Sanzu said, Koko stepped on the breaks and eyed the man behind him. "What the hell do you mean by that?!" He yelled, Sanzu let out a smug look as looked outside the window in a dreamy state. "Y/N said he doesn't like men her age and she also said that she hates men who haven't gotten over their first love, men with ugly hairline, men who smoke, and men who see their boss as their first love. So yeah" "Chaos...It's going to be chaos...The next day...

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #mikey x reader #sanzu x reader #takeomi x reader #rindou x reader #ran x reader #kokonoi x reader #mochi x reader #kakucho x reader #bonten #anime #anime x reader #babu #babu shennanigans

[hacawijo]

Alright, If We’re Gonna Play with Az’s Bonus Chapter, Let’s PLAY with Az’s Bonus Chapter (Pt. 1)

I’m going to do a close reading of this bonus chapter, because this whole thing is stressing me out and I want to write out what I think I know what I definitely know and what I’m worried about. Here. We. Go. 

I’m not going to directly quote supporting info in this post, but I will be using a LOT of quotes in the next few weeks, so if anyone wants me to confirm a certain statement I’m making here just let me know and I’ll drop the receipts :)

Also this is super long but I had a lot of thoughts I’m excited about! My commentary is in bold italics!

The river house had finally fallen quiet after the raucous Winter Solstice party, the faelights dimming to cast little pools of gold amid the deep shadow here is an example of contrast between light and dark, which many have made salient points on regarding the counterbalance of Elain/Azriel and their relationship of the longest night of the year.

Amren, Mor, and Varian had finally gone to bed, but Azriel found himself lingering downstairs.

He knew he should get some sleep. He’d need it come dawn, for the snowball battle up at the cabin. Cassian had mentioned no less than six times tonight that he had a secret plan regarding his so-called impending victory. Az had let his brother boast. Especially since Azriel had been planning his own victory for a year now. Had been planning his own victory for a year now, and had one the past 199 years’ worth of fights.

Cassian wouldn’t know what was coming for him. And Az fully planned on capitalizing on the fact that Nesta likely wouldn’t let Cassian sleep much tonight.

Az snickered to himself, to the listening shadows around him. Note the differentiation between himself and the shadows around him - he snickers to them outside of himself, as they are not HIM, they are his companions.

Sleep, they seemed to whisper in his ear. Sleep.

I wish I could, he answered silently. But sleep so rarely found him these days. Again, engaging in a conversation with them. Though he does say that they SEEMED to whisper sleep, which is interesting. He seems to communicate with them beyond worded language, this is a case where he’s translating whatever that communication is into words.

Too many razor-sharp thoughts sliced him any time he grew still long enough for them to strike Yeah this guy needs some therapy for sure, love him but this feels very much like the state of avoidance that Nesta found herself in. Too many wants and needs left his skin overheated and pulling taut across his bones. so he slept only when his body gave out, and even then only for a few hours. This feels very much like an extreme, one that certainly didn’t exist all of the time with Mor (otherwise he’s truly not been sleeping for…ever). I have a very, very hard time believing he would have this reaction because of lust or a coveting kind of obsession.

Azriel surveyed the empty family room, presents and ribbons littering the furniture. Cassian and Nesta hadn’t reappeared downstairs, though that came as no surprise. He was elated for his brother, and yet...

Azriel couldn’t stop it. The envy in his chest. Of Cassian, and Rhys. This is almost exactly the sentiment expressed by Cassian in ACOFAS/ACOSF

He knew he’d be swallowed by it if he went up to his bedroom, so he’d remained down here by the dying light of the fire.

But even the silence weighed too heavily, and though the shadows kept him company, as they always had, as they always would, he found himself leaving the room. Entering the foyer. Entering the foyer for what? Entering in order to go to bed? Or was he drawn there, somehow knowing Elain would be there? I really don’t know the answer and I don’t have a preference as to whether or not they are mates, but it’s worth thinking about. Also important to note that the SHADOWS ARE NOT ENOUGH FOR AZRIEL. They are his friends, an important coping mechanism, but they are not the sum of who he is, nor do they even represent the part of himself that is most realized or fulfilled.

Soft steps padded from under the stair archway, and there she was.

The faelights gilded Elain’s unbound hair, making her glow like the sun at dawn. She halted, her breath catching in her throat. Again, imagery to highlight a contrast between the two of them, Elain as the sun at dawn. Note that it’s talking about dawn, not day. SJM has repeatedly used language about Summer, Dawn, Spring and such to describe Elain, which makes me wonder if her light is meant to transcend the courts - in the same way that the shadows are not the sum of Azriel, the sun (the Day, the Dawn, Spring, Summer etc.) is not the sum of Elain.

“I...” He watched her swallow. She clutched a small gift in her hands. “I was coming to leave this on your pile of presents. I forgot to give it to you earlier.” One thing I noticed on closer examination, she went downstairs to leave it in his pile, not to see him. I wonder if it hurts her to be around HIM as well. Elain has said several times in this book (either on the page or in second- or third-hand account) that she is committed to this court, and I wonder if that same commitment that had her going to the Hewn City is what also has prevented her from ending things with Lucien. It’s not in her nature to be disingenuous, and so she cannot fake certain feelings for him, but it IS in her nature to be selfless, and she probably understands what their mating bond means and how important Lucien’s alliance is. I wonder also if she is unsure as to Azriel’s feelings or if she knows somehow, as Azriel sort of implies she might below.

Lie. Well, the second part was a lie. He didn’t need his shadows to read her tone, the slight tightening of her face. She’d waited until everyone was asleep before venturing down, where she’d leave her gift amongst his other, opened presents, subtle and unnoticed. This is another instance in which Azriel sees her when no one else does, even when she’s not intending or someone to see her. Also, of course, important to note that he can read her without his shadows - a crutch that he uses in interactions with many other people.

Elain closed the distance, and her breathing quickened as she again paused, now a scant foot away. She extended the wrapped gift, her hand shaking. “Here.” Elain makes ALL the moves in this scene - she approaches him, she asks him to put the necklace on her, she leans in, she says yes etc. etc. I think Azriel is actually very respectful and restrained throughout this whole interaction.

Az tried not to look at his scarred fingers as they took the gift. Azriel is ashamed of his scars, and is ashamed of them with Feyre and Mor as well as Elain, this is an across-the-board part of his characterization. She hadn’t bought her mate a present. But she’d gotten Azriel one last year — a headache powder he kept on his nightstand at the House of Wind The headache powder: proof that Elain has been seeing him - specifically seeing him rub his temples. Not to use, but to look at. Which he’d done every night he’d slept there. Or attempted to sleep there.

Azriel unwrapped the box, glancing at the card that merely said, You might find these useful at the House these days, and then opened the lid. Elain is not a casual person, she can’t even handle it when Feyre (her sister) tries to talk to her and Nesta (her other sister) privately about High Fae menstruation. For every lack of flourish or formality that Elain gives Azriel, that is another measured degree of comfort she feels with him - she wouldn’t give an unsigned, familiar note to just anyone.

Two small, bean-shaped fabric blobs lay within. Elain murmured, “You put them in your ears, and they block any sound. With Nesta and Cassian living there with you...”

He chuckled, unable to suppress the impulse. “No wonder you didn’t want me to open it in front of everyone.”

Elain’s mouth twitched into a smile. “Nesta wouldn’t appreciate the joke.” Elain and Azriel have similar senses of humor. Not necessarily in content, but in the way it sort of crops up off-the-cuff and sometimes unnoticed. I like that Elain makes him laugh.

He offered a smile back. “I wasn’t sure if I should give you your present.”

He left the rest unspoken.  Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn’t stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much.

Elain’s large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days. Alright so, this is really curious. Does this mean that they both seem to be aware of the other’s feelings AND aware that the other is aware of their feelings? I really do wonder if, in this case, Az is an unreliable narrator- maybe assuming more certainty of Elain than she actually has. Again, I don’t think he would have such a visceral reaction to Elain and Lucien being in the same room (and not even close to each other at all) if he was just infatuated or in lust with her

But tonight, here in the dark and quiet more juxtaposition, with no one to see... no one to see, except the two of them, who always see more than others and who always see each other more than anyone else He pulled the small velvet box from the shadows around him. Opened it for her.

Elain sucked in a soft breath that whispered over his skin. His shadows skittered back at the sound. They’d always been prone to vanish when she was around. If Azriel is aware of the fact that his shadows disappear around Elain, and is still almost certainly in love with Elain, I think we can gather that it’s a positive thing for his shadows to give them privacy- which- btw, is what I think they are doing. The shadows feel to Azriel, to me, the way that the HoW feels to Nesta. The HoW doesn’t dislike Cassian, but also doesn’t need to be as diligent with Nesta when he’s around, because the House trusts Cassian with her.

The golden necklace seemed ordinary — it’s chain unremarkable, the amulet tiny enough that it could be dismissed as an everyday charm. It was a small, flat rose fashioned of stained glass, designed so that when held to the light, the truth depth of the colors would become visible. A thing of secret, lovely beauty. So I don’t think he’s saying that Elain is a thing here. I think he’s saying that HIS FEELINGS for her are a thing of secret, lovely beauty. It’s been made pretty clear that Elain’s physical AND inner beauty are decidedly visible and prominent. She is, the opposite of secret- though she is often described as lovely. I think what’s more interesting here is the time dedicated to describing this gift and the time dedicated to describing Lucien’s gift of pearl earrings (more on that later, but spoiler-alert, that’s the extent of the description)

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, lifting it from the box. The golden faelight shone through the little glass facets this word choice is notable because it’s an indication of layers and depth and different sides, setting the charm glowing with hues of red and pink and white. Azriel let his shadows he let them do it, again the way he interacts with his shadows does not make it seem like they ARE him. It would probably say “Azriel’s shadows whisked away the box” or “Azriel used his shadows to…” etc. whisk away the box as she said softly, “Put it on me?” Again, Elain is driving the action

His head went quiet. But he took the necklace, opening the clasp as she exposed her back sweeping her hair up in one hand to bare her long, creamy neck. That this situation is described in such slow, delicate detail evokes a sense of intimacy and gravity to the reader. Every tiny piece of this little bite of interaction means something to Azriel and probably to Elain.

He knew it was wrong, but there he was, sliding the necklace around her. Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin this word choice is admittedly a little strange, but the use of this and later of the word sacrilege is FAR from the first time SJM uses religiously-coded language to describe a romantic/sexual/intimate situation. In this very book, Cassian describes his sex with Nesta “as close to a religious experience” as he’d ever gotten - furthermore, there is often talk of the worship of bodies. More on this in another post! ALSO, of course he thinks about touching her in relation to himself. He is himself, for one thing, for another, one of the most reinforced aspects of Azriel’s character that has been made clear to us as readers is his belief that he is unworthy. This comes up not at all just with Elain, it comes up everywhere. It comes up when Azriel volunteers for the most dangerous assignments, it comes up with Mor A LOT, it comes up with Rhys and Cassian. I HAVE A LOT MORE TO SAY ABOUT AZRIEL SO I JUST NEED TO STOP TYPING RIGHT N. Letting them brush the side of her throat, savoring the velvet-soft texture. Elain shivered that’s hot and he took a damn long time fastening the clasp.

Azriel’s fingers lingered at her nape, atop the first knob of her spine SUCH precise language, so agonizing. Slowly, Elain pivoted into his touch. Until his palm lay flat against her neck.

It had never gone this far. They’d exchanged looks, the occasional brush of their fingers, but never this. Never blatant, unrestricted touching. Another important line in reiterating the fact that there are two people participating in this interaction and the broader relationship, with the use of ‘exchanged’ and ‘their.’ It could easily also say something like, “Azriel had never gone this far. She’d sometimes caught him looking at her and he her, and every so often he’d taken the risk of brushing his fingers against hers.” Elain’s agency in these interactions and this relationship is SO IMPORTANT! It is the difference between Az viewing Elain as a two-dimensional and unattainable figure and as a real person with wants and needs.

Wrong — it was so wrong. Azriel knows, just as well as Rhys, what is at stake in Elain’s relationship with Lucien. He also has reverence for the mating bond in the same way that many other fae and faeries do. Of course he thinks it’s wrong!

He didn’t care.

He needed to know what the skin of her neck tasted like. What those perfect lips tasted like. Her breasts. Her sex. He needed her coming on his tongue — There is literally so much talk in Feysand and Nessian of tasting and eating out. Both Rhys and Cassian make it very clear that they spent a lot of time thinking about what their partners would taste like and how they might go about finding out for sure.

Azriel’s cock strained behind his pants, aching so fiercely he could hardly think. He prayed she didn’t peer down. Prayed she didn’t understand the shift in his scent.

He had only allowed himself these thoughts in the dead of night. Because he knows it’s a fool’s hope. He never thinks about this as a viable path! Had only allowed his hand to fist his cock and think about her then, when even his shadows had gone to sleep again a recognition of the separation between him and his shadows. How that beautiful face might appear as he entered her, what sounds she’d make. See above: Nessian and Feysand are just as dirty and graphic (especially Nessian) and Rhys and Cassian are JUST AS WORSHIPFUL of their partners.

Elain bit her lower lip, and it took every ounce Azriel’s restraint to keep from putting his own teeth there.

“I should go,” Elain said, but made no move to leave. Again, they are BOTH cognizant, I think, of the risks and dynamics at play here.

“Yes,” he said, his thumb sweeping in long strokes along the side of her throat.

Her arousal drifted up to him, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the sweet scent. He’d beg on his knees for a chance to taste it Rhys’s WHOLE THING is that he kneels before Feyre in reverence. But Azriel just stroked her neck again. SJM repeatedly uses the scent of arousal as a way to confirm sexual interest beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Elain shuddered, drifting closer. So close one deep breath would brush her breasts against his chest. She looked up at him, her face so trusting and hopeful and open that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars. I personally think this is Azriel being self-deprecating. I think that Elain is a seer, and probably has some idea of what Azriel does. Does this mean he puts her on a pedestal or that he views her as pure? It’s possible, but I think Azriel views most people whom he loves as pure compared to himself in one way or another— even Cassian. There is a line I’ll cite eventually where Rhys muses on the similarities between himself and Azriel, since Rhys is the only person Azriel allows to see the full scope of his rage. Ditto with the pedestal.

Such terrible things that it was a sacrilege same story as my point above on the word immaculate, but again I do totally admit that it’s a strange word. I just think that we have had so little of Azriel’s perspective that we can’t really say whether this is a perversion of his connection to Elain or if this is a regular sort of attitude for him for his fingers to touch her skin, tainting her with his presence.

But he could have this. This one moment, and maybe a taste, and that would be it. AND THAT WOULD BE IT. HE DOESN’T THINK IT WILL GO FURTHER!

“Yes,” Elain breathed, like she read the decision. You fucking go Elain get that ass Just this taste in the dead of the longest night of the year, where only the Mother interesting choice of words given Nesta’s association with the Mother and Nesta’s apparent tacit acceptance of Azriel’s feelings for Elain (more on that later) might witness them.

Azriel’s hand slid up her neck, burying in her thick hair. Tilting her face the way he wanted it. Elain’s mouth parted slightly, her eyes scanning his before flirting shut.

Offer and permission. OFFER AND PERMISSION. ELAIN WANTS THE SHADOWSINGER D!!!!!

He nearly groaned with relief and need as he lowered his head toward hers.

Azriel. And suddenly, the one time they both are comfortable with how they’re being seen (that Azriel is being seen by no one else BUT Elain, that Elain is finally being seen intimately, by someone, in the dark, namely, AZRIEL)

Rhys’s voice thundered through him, halting him mere inches from Elain’s sweet mouth.

Azriel. So if you were to ask me what the biggest sign of Elriel’s longevity in this chapter is, it is this: that they did not kiss. SJM built a very tightly worded and wound tension around this moment with her language, and.  the fact that it is not fulfilled is frustrating, right? We know that he touched the knob of her spine - we know that she shivered. For that level of intimacy not to end in a kiss, means something. Rhys could easily have interrupted them after their lips had already touched, and if this relationship were a device serving another, that’s what would have happened.

SJM knows that the tension is built and unfulfilled, and I think she also knows that this wouldn’t have been the right time for them to have their first kiss - which is what I think many readers have noticed in so many words. Where my thoughts differ is that I think SJM is walking a line between romantically coding the moment AND acknowledging that this moment is not ideal, and that it doesn’t deserve to be fulfilled satisfyingly, especially given Azriel’s self-loathing. MORE LATER :) Which should maybe be my catchphrase.

Also, them not kissing can’t just be about the fact that it’s a bonus chapter. You can’t make that argument about their not-kiss and then argue that the interaction with Gwyn is essential to the coming story. Which, I think it is significant, by the way, I’m just not sure how yet :P

Unrelenting command filled his name, and Azriel looked up. Rhysand stood atop the staircase. Glowering down at them.

My office. Now.

Rhys vanished, and Azriel was left standing before Elain, who still awaited his kiss. His stomach twisted as he pulled his hand away from her hair and stepped back. Forced himself to say, “This was a mistake.” UGH. The capital P Pain.

She opened her eyes, hurt and confusion warring there before she whispered, “I’m sorry.” See, this reaction makes me think that she is not as aware of his feelings as he thinks she is. That she later returns the necklace (or did she?) reinforces this. I think that if she was certain how he felt about her, she would be frustrated and maybe angry in the way that she has responded to Feyre’s comments about her mating bond with Lucien, not hurt and confused.

“You don’t — Don’t apologize,” he managed to say. “Never apologize. It’s I who should...”  He shook his head, unable to stand the bleakness he’d brought to her expression. “Goodnight.” But at least it definitely confirms her feelings to Azriel.

PART II IS BEING POSTED BACK-TO-BACK!

#acosf #azriel bonus chapter #azriel shadowsinger #elriel #elain archeron #rhysand #gwyn acosf #acotar #acotar theory #feyre archeron #close reading #line by line #evidence #nessian #lightsinger #elain x azriel #shadowsinger

[ritsushinbro]

My Critique of Rebuild of Evangelion's Characterization: I originally wrote this post on the Evageeks forum and decided to post it here. It discusses the relationship between Misato, WILLE and the pilots and whether it is realistic and in-character. Warning this post contains spoilers and is very long. Also has references to self-harm and suicide.

With each revelation that comes out regarding the measures WILLE take against Shinji and their own pilots, it becomes more and more unrealistic for me to the point where it's almost comical. Let's go through some of them here:

They wear the explosive DSS chokers 24/7 which will kill the pilots should they risk awakening an Eva.

They are kept in a single room rigged with explosives.

In Shinji's case, he is (intended to be) put in 24/7 solitary confinement with explosives fitted as well.

Shinji is escorted around the wunder whilst restrained on a stretcher. (NOTE: The only time he isn't, is when Sakura takes him to Ritsuko).

It is confirmed in another thread that Misato gave clear permission to the crew for them to shoot Shinji on sight if they suspect he is attempting to get into an Eva. 

Now let me attempt to deconstruct these measures one-by-one:

It is understandable that Asuka and Mari wear DSS chokers because after all they are pilots and there is a risk of awakening. However in Shinji's case, he is forbidden from piloting and so there is no risk of awakening (remember Ritsuko did not think NERV would come after him, so they had no reason to think he would escape). So why place the DSS choker on him? Well we have already established it is simply because they have a resentment against him; there is no special, pragmatic reason. Is this realistic? Well I would say no for reasons I will explain later but I can certainly understand why others may say it is.

I don't think I will understand why they would keep their two main "soldiers" if you will, in an explosively rigged room. I believe others have  stated that from a tactical point, it's an extremely dumb move on WILLE's part. After all, if Asuka and Mari didn't have plot armor, what's to stop Gendo from tricking WILLE into killing their own pilots with these explosives? How would WILLE stop Gendo then? Will they use Shinji? No, for reasons I will state later. And another thing, we know that their rooms were already fitted with explosives so why on Earth would they add extra after the events of Q (when they stopped 4th impact). What do they hope to achieve with more bombs? Make the pilots more "deader" than they already are? In my opinion, this doesn't even come across as paranoid but just plain childish. Is this measure realistic from a story standpoint? No not in my eyes.

We know they intended to put Shinji in a solitary cell as this is what they do in Shin. If it was solitary confinement on it's own, then I believe it would be a realistic measure that would happen in real life. However I believe the writers did not factor in the effects of solitary confinement (especially one that is rigged to explode) on fully grown men; never mind a 14 year old who's just come out of a 14 year coma. Many people think solitary confinement is a walk in the park so I made another post a while ago highlighting why that's not the case:

"I remember when before Shin came out people here theorized that if Shinji stayed on the Wunder, they would eventually softened to him and let him help in ways that wouldn't have involved piloting. However with these revelations it looks like they intended to keep him in an isolated room far from everyone else that is (presumably) rigged with explosives as well as keeping the choker on his neck. Not even allowed to freely leave his cell without WILLE's permission (it is unlikely they would let him out judging from these measures). 

Even though Asuka and Mari were treated like this as well, at least they had each other and were able to leave as they had responsibilities in piloting. But Shinji was forbidden from piloting and was to be kept by himself except maybe being checked up on by Sakura now and again. So judging from these leaks (we will have to wait to properly see the full context) WILLE intended to lock Shinji in solitary confinement.

I have copied and pasted some of the effects of Solitary Confinement from Wikipedia below:

“Psychiatric: Research indicates that the psychological effects of solitary confinement may encompass "anxiety, depression, anger, cognitive disturbances, perceptual distortions, obsessive thoughts, paranoia, and psychosis." The lack of human contact, and the sensory deprivation that often go with solitary confinement, can have a severe negative impact on a prisoner's mental state that may lead to certain mental illnesses such as depression, permanent or semi-permanent changes to brain physiology, an existential crisis, and death.

Self-harm: According to a March 2014 article in American Journal of Public Health, "Inmates in jails and prisons attempt to harm themselves in many ways, resulting in outcomes ranging from trivial to fatal." Self harm was seven times higher among the inmates where seven percent of the jail population was confined in isolation. Fifty-three percent of all acts of self harm took place in jail. "Self-harm" included, but was not limited to, cutting, banging heads, self-amputations of fingers or testicles. These inmates were in bare cells, and were prone to jumping off their beds head first into the floor or even biting through their veins in their wrists. A main issue within the prison system and solitary confinement is the high number of inmates who turn to self-harm. Many of the inmates look to self-harm as a way to "avoid the rigors of solitary confinement."

Physical: Solitary confinement has been reported to cause hypertension, headaches and migraines, profuse sweating, dizziness, and heart palpitations. Many inmates also experience extreme weight loss due to digestion complications and abdominal pain. Many of these symptoms are due to the intense anxiety and sensory deprivation. Inmates can also experience neck and back pain and muscle stiffness due to long periods of little to no physical activity. These symptoms often worsen with repeated visits to solitary confinement.

Social: The effects of isolation unfortunately do not stop once the inmate has been released. After release from segregated housing, psychological effects have the ability to sabotage a prisoner's potential to successfully return to the community and adjust back to ‘normal’ life. The inmates are often startled easily, and avoid crowds and public places. They seek out confined small spaces because the public areas overwhelm their sensory stimulation.”

And this is just for solitary confinement. There are so many other things going on with and happening (or could happen) to Shinji such as the things below:

Shinji being only 14 years old.

Shinji being abandoned and neglected by his father.

Shinji being coerced/emotionally blackmailed to pilot Unit 1.

Shinji seeing girls he cared for "die".

Shinji being in a coma for 14 years.

Shinji being told he has a bomb on his neck.

Being told it is because he is being punished.

Being told he cannot pilot the eva anymore (he is effectively "useless" now).

Have his former co-pilot and friend try and punch him after he thought she was dead.

[Potentially] being told he started NTI and devastated the world.

[Potentially] being told that the girl he tried to save is "gone" and that she was a clone of his mother.

Being imprisoned in a cell (presumably) surrounded by explosives and not being able to freely leave.

Be completely isolated from everyone except when being checked up by a girl who's father he got killed. (NOTE: Mari might want to see him so Shinji at least has her, maybe). 

Have his mother figure (the woman who made him pilot the eva the most) threaten to detonate the choker around his neck and blow his head off when he tries to leave.

With the above list, is it any wonder his head is so messed up? I understand the purpose of these films is all about growing up and taking responsibility but expecting Shinji to willingly allow himself to be subjected to the treatment WILLE had in store for him is pure, unadulterated masochism. Much of what was is written here can safely be considered cruel, inhumane and arguably, torture. 

There is a massive difference between taking responsibility for one's mistakes and just letting the whole world torture you because you did something bad. My main fear and problem with Q and Thrice is that their main theme, which is accepting responsibility, is equated with accepting unreasonably cruel treatment. And I just think that is an EXTREMELY unhealthy message to send to people especially if they are depressed or live in abusive relationships."

When you take all these into account, does it place into perspective how messed up Shinji would have been had he stayed on the wunder? This is assuming that they thought they would never have a need for him, but as we find out in Shin, they needed Shinji in the end to defeat Gendo. If Shinji never left with Mark 09 and Misato successfully kept him "protective" custody, then one of three things would have happened when WILLE actually needed him to save everyone:

A: He would not have been in the mental state to pilot Unit 1 and Gendo would have completely wrecked him due to shit synch ratios. 

B: He would have told Misato and co. to fuck off and die. We've seen this nihilism before from Shinji (after the 5th angel). His incarceration alongside the humiliation and guilt from wearing the choker will have ratcheted up by a million.

C: He wouldn't have piloted because he would have killed himself. There's only so much a 14 year old can take and when subjected to a fate that causes even hardened criminals to resort to self-harm, genital mutilation and suicide, then what chance does Shinji have? 

Now back to my original point, do I think this measure is realistic? I would like to say yes if it was the solitary on it's own, however when combined with the other things, then I think the chances of Shinji commiting suicide is extremely high to the point where it's not believable for him to continue as an anime protagonist. You have to make sure the protagonist goes through difficulty in order to experience growth and change, however if you make it too harsh (to the point of committing suicide) then it seems less believable that they live to continue the story. On a separate note, many people think that Shinji was immature for leaving with Mark 09 the first chance he got and that this is proof that he is, in Asuka's words, a "brat". But let's be realistic, if this story is about Shinji's growth and maturation, then how exactly would WILLE's treatment of him be conducive to that? The truth is WILLE's sheer hostility towards him would have completely stunted any emotional growth and maturation in Shinji and it would have destroyed the point of the film. Also no-one can argue that WILLE would have eventually "come round" or "softened-up" towards Shinji because even after 14 years they still don't trust their own pilots. So yeah, Shinji most likely would have been stuck in solitary with a bomb around his neck until he either killed himself or the war ended (but even this doesn't guarantee his freedom).

Regarding the stretcher business. I don't understand why you have to restrain Shinji on a stretcher when the kid has already surrendered himself and has come voluntarily. Maybe WILLE are just full of bondage fetishists; it would certainly explain the chokers as well. 

If the DSS chokers and the explosive rooms weren't enough, Misato actually gave orders to the crew to shoot Shinji if they thought he was trying to pilot again. At this point, I just think this is just overkill. I mean the kid has a bomb on his neck that prevents him from awakening an Eva, you intended to keep him locked up even though he can't really leave the wunder except with outside help and now you intend to shoot him if you think he'll get into an Eva. The problem with this, is that piloting an Eva requires all the bridge-bunnies to sortie the damn thing. Shinji cannot enter Unit 1 by himself, especially since the thing is being used as an engine so why do they assume that Shinji is capable of being Sam Fisher and sneaking into Unit 1? We see that Sakura and Midori are actually willing to shoot Shinji in 3.0+1.0 and do so when he merely suggests that he pilot Unit 1. But seriously what harm would Shinji have done in Unit 1 considering the fact that Gendo was already going to start another impact anyway? Why actively try and kill (or injure in Sakura's case) the only guy that can save your ass? One cannot argue that they were just being "desperate or panicking" because in Midori's case, she actually takes the time to confirm her orders from Misato. This shows that at least, she was still of lucid mind. This particular altercation just beggars belief in my mind and the fact that Misato actually gave those orders on top of all the other measures is absolutely extraordinary. So as you can imagine, I do not think this was realistically executed.

However, I can already hear some detractors say: "So what? Misato hesitated to detonate the DSS choker and also took a bullet for Shinji. She redeemed herself from putting the DSS choker on him and the kill-order for if they thought he would try and get into an Eva." 

And to those people I say….not really. There is an idiom attributed to Benjamin Franklin and it goes like this: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." How does this apply to Misato and Shinji's relationship? Well Misato wouldn't have had to hesitate to pull the trigger if she didn't put it on him in the first place. Misato wouldn't have had to take a bullet for Shinji, if she didn't give permission for the crew to shoot him in the first place. Let's take this following dialogue for example:

916-929:

Kitakami: "It's a good thing we got Major Shikinami back. But why'd we have to take that disease along with her?"

Aoba: "Just leave it alone. Better than Nerv still being able to use him."

Tama: "If he tries to get into an Evangelion, all hands have permission to shoot on sight. There's nothing to worry about this time."

Kitakami: "Come on, that's all for show. The last time he broke out of here, the Captain couldn't put him down. I've got zero trust about this time either."

Nagara: "He was a kid. I can understand why she'd hesitate."

Kitakami: "That 'kid' caused Near Third Impact and murdered my entire family!"

Hyuga: "Near Third was a consequence of what he did, not his goal. The Captain's doing her best to atone for that too."

Takao: "That's right. She's who Kaji entrusted with Wille, and it's our job to trust the captain."

We learn a few things from this dialogue. Firstly, the older WILLE members are much more understanding to Shinji and Misato's situation: Aoba and Hyuga understand that it's better to keep an eye on Shinji and that he never meant to start NTI, Takao is one who always trusts Misato's judgement and Sumire understands that Misato would have found it difficult to kill a child, especially one that Misato was close with. 

Secondly, it appears that the younger WILLE members (Midori, Sakura and Tama) are the ones that are fearful/hateful towards Shinji (NOTE: Tama is a strange case, he strikes me as the sort of kid that just follows what everyone else is feeling. He might not feel anything towards Shinji beyond what you'd expect). 

Finally it appears that most of WILLE crew members are actually reasonable people and are not the extremely desperate and paranoid individuals some people on the forum believe. Remember this is AFTER Shinji started the 4th impact in Q. The fact that some of the WILLE crew members speak of Shinji in this way, show they are capable of understanding. Most actually trust Misato and respect her judgement except for Midori, who questions Misato's capabilities in following through on her threats. 

Which brings me to my next point. Misato has had no hesitation in pulling rank in the past. In 2.0, she even has an altercation with Ritsuko, her best friend, right before they fight the 8th angel. Misato is a woman that will tell even her best friend to STFU, when it comes to doing what she wants. Having said that, (timeskip shenanigans aside) there's no reason why she couldn't have done the same with the younger WILLE crew members. She could have nipped all of it in the bud by telling Sakura, Midori and the rest of them that Shinji was groomed to cause NTI and it was not his fault.

Instead, despite being the captain that everyone loves and fears, she kowtowed to the crew's paranoia and had the pilots fitted with explosive chokers, put in explosively rigged solitary confinement and gave the order to kill Shinji if they feared the worst. This is the sort of thing that drives fully grown men to suicide, never mind 14 year olds that have just come out of a coma. Imagine if Shinji did commit suicide in his cell. Who would Misato and WILLE have turned to in order to defeat Gendo in the end? What if Gendo tricked WILLE into killing their own pilots with the explosives? They would be properly screwed then. If Misato actually cared, as we are led to believe from her hesitation to kill Shinji, then she would have told the rest of the WILLE crew to fuck off, instead of alienating and putting Shinji and the pilots in that much risk. Are we really expected to believe that Misato placed such extreme countermeasures on Shinji just to appease Midori and Sakura? Not likely. This is why I believe that Misato would not have put the DSS choker on Shinji in the first place, and her doing so in Q was extremely unrealistic and out of character, even with anything that happened during the timeskip.

Some of you will say: "Who cares about realism? It's a show about aliens and growing up." While this is true, Anno has proven that he is able to pull the themes off much better when you look at the NGE series. Disregarding the self-contained narrative, it is obvious that the purpose of Q was to bring Shinji to the same point he was at after episode 24 of the series. If we look at how NGE/EOE handled Shinji's depression, we see that it is quite realistic:

The neglect and coercion by the adults in his life, almost dying to angels multiple times, the sexual tension with Asuka, almost killing Touji, finding out Rei is a clone of his mother, Misato putting the moves on him and having to kill Kaworu all culminate towards Shinji's mental state during EOE. Shinji is passively suicidal but it's due to the *situation* and his own introverted tendencies instead of people actively trying to hurt and isolate him. He finds the will to live again due to his mothers words despite knowing just how difficult living might be. If you remove all the Evas and the Angels from the story, the themes that are touched upon (isolation, neglect, misunderstanding) still apply and the audience can still resonate with them. 

The rebuilds however go about it completely differently. They bring Shinji to that same suicidal state by having all the characters/plot actively harm Shinji's mental health by:

Putting him in a coma for 14 years so he is completely clueless. Imagine how groggy you are when you wake up in the morning and then multiply that by a million. 

Have Misato psychologically castrate Shinji by telling him he won't do anything with a look of disdain on her face.

Have Ritsuko make Shinji feel dread by telling him he has a bomb on his neck and it's because he is being "punished".

Not tell him why he is being punished when he asks Misato.

Have Asuka try to punch Shinji after he thought she was dead.

Tell Shinji the girl he saved is "gone”.

Have his "mother figure" threaten to blow his head off for wanting to leave with the girl you just told him is gone.

Have Asuka and Mari attack Shinji in Lilith's chamber even though Shinji was seemingly willing to listen to them had Asuka not kept attacking. (Watch that scene again and you'll see when Asuka learns what Shinji is trying to do, she stops attacking but instead of explaining that he's being manipulated, she just calls him a brat instead).

Even Mari was willing to potentially kill or cripple Shinji with the Anti-AT rounds. (We don't know what the AA rounds are truly capable of because the only time they are used on screen, they don't work. The round cartridges state that they are armor and AT field piercing and have explicit restrictions on their use. The fact that Mari requires Asuka's explicit authorization to use them imply that they are most likely lethal and would have killed/crippled Shinji had he been in a normal Eva). 

Have Shinji's friend's head explode with the device Shinji's "mother figure" actually meant for him. Imagine seeing someone's head explode and then remember that your "mother figure" actually meant that to be for you. That would certainly mess anyone up.

Have Asuka then kick and manhandle him when he is catatonic.

Have Asuka force feed him to the point where he pukes whilst he is still grieving the death of his friend. 

Have Shinji only be escorted whilst tied to a stretcher despite him coming voluntarily.

Have Misato place Shinji in 24/7 solitary confinement in a cell rigged with explosives.

Have Misato tell the WILLE crew to shoot Shinji on sight if they think he's getting into an EVA.

Have people tell Shinji that he's being a brat the entire time for reacting badly to all this.

By having Misato, Asuka, WILLE reject and "punish" Shinji so harshly so it kicks off his isolation and desperation, it makes Shinji's "recovery" seem less believable. Anno himself didn't even know how to make Shinji recover psychologically in 3.0+1.0 and he actually had to ask the voice actors on how to make that happen. The story made the WILLE crew go full scorched-earth and in doing so made Shinji's "growth" and his reconciliation with Misato seem impossible. 

I have already stated that I believe Q represents "Condemnation" and Shin represents "Compassion" and I think both films pull that off brilliantly. But that doesn't mean I think the characters acted in a realistic manner. I do not believe that Misato would have placed such harsh sanctions on Shinji in the first place for the reasons I have stated above. And if she did, I do not believe that Shinji would have easily forgiven Misato (even IF she took a bullet for him) as we see he does in the film. I do not believe that WILLE were merely "scared and desperate" because as the dialogue above shows, they are surprisingly understanding (but still disapproving) of Shinji's situation despite him literally starting another impact. I do not believe that Misato would have bent over to Sakura and Midori's resentment and taken measures against Shinji, just to ease their minds. 

In summary, my main problem with the post-timeskip rebuilds is that I feel they gaslight the audience in thinking that Shinji was just being a "brat" the entire time by having Asuka and Mari say: "You have grown a little/You smell like an adult now." However, the truth is Shinji's been through so much mental suffering perpetrated by the people he cares about, that it's a miracle he's not killed himself. It would certainly break most of us on this forum. The movies seek to show Shinji "finally" taking responsibility when the truth is, the plot went so above and beyond putting him down in such an extreme manner in the first place.

#evangelion #nge #nte #rebuild of evangelion #evangelion 3.0 you can (not) redo #evangelion 3.33 #evangelion 3.0+1.0 #misato katsuragi #shinji ikari #asuka langley shikinami #mari makinami illustrious #ritsuko akagi #3+1 spoilers #spoilers

[starshine583]

Concert Craziness

(Okay so I found this in a random document and don’t think I ever posted it, but??? it’s adrinette so have fun reading lol)

Marinette squinted underneath the flashing lights. Color invaded her vision- blue, yellow, green, red. Music pounded in her ears, so loud she could feel the steady rhythm in her chest. It drowned out the screaming fans around her, who squeezed together as much as possible to fit in the stadium.

Now I know why Jagged’s concerts are usually outside. She thought to herself, pushing a few people back to keep her spot at the front. Marinette didn’t mind the chaos, though. After all, it was a Jagged Stone concert, one of her favorite musicians who’d personally invited her to come tonight. The headache she was going to get afterwards would absolutely be worth it.

Another shoulder bumped into her, and she sighed.

“Look, sir, if you wanted to be closer to the stage, you should have gotten here earlier.” 

A chuckle came from her left- light and cheerful and something she’d recognize anywhere.

“Actually, I just wanted to say ‘hi’.”

Marinette whirled around, meeting a delightfully green pair of eyes. Heat rushed to her cheeks. “A-Adrien! I didn’t know you’d be here.” 

“Yeah, I managed to get a photoshoot done early so I could come.” He smiled. “It’s cool to see you here too. Concerts are always better with friends.” 

Marinette giggled, ignoring the small jab he accidentally made. At least he wanted to hang out with her, right? That counts for something.

“You know, this is Jagged’s last song for the night, but I have a backstage pass. Would you.. wanna come see him with me?” She asked somewhat shyly. 

Adrien’s eyes sparkled at the very thought. “Really? Can you do that?” 

Marinette’s insides blossomed with an overwhelming warmth, and she giggled. For that smile? I can do anything. 

“Course. I’m sure Jagged won’t mind one extra person.” She assured, waving her hand. So far so good. Adrien was going to go backstage with her! All she had to do now was remember to breathe. 

His shining grin widened, and wow, so much for remembering to breathe. She’s never going to know how to inhale oxygen again. “Ah, you’re the best, Mari. Thanks so much!”

“A-Anytime.” She managed, completely lost in his.. well.. everything. I mean, what was there not to love about Adrien Agreste?

The song ended a few minutes later, starting the rush of the crowds to either get Jagged’s autograph or exit the building. Marinette and Adrien tried to stick together, but with everyone moving in different directions, the task seemed impossible.

She nearly jumped onto the stage itself when the soft touch of Adrien’s fingers wrapped around her hand. 

“Sorry, I just don’t want to lose you. Is this okay?” He asked, ever so slightly brushing his thumb across the back of her hand.

Marinette sucked in a breath to calm herself. It would be plain embarrassing if she full-on fainted in front of him now.

“Sure! The hand, it’s great. I mean, you can handle me if you want to- I MEAN-” She cut herself off with a groan and pinched the bridge of her nose. Then, with all the dignity she had left, Marinette gave his hand a light squeeze. “This is perfect, Adrien.”

He simply smiled at her, so soft and vibrant and- gosh, how could anything be allowed to look so beautiful?

Despite the intoxicating feeling of his touch invading every corner of her being, Marinette guided them through the chaotic fans and eventually found the entrance to Jagged’s dressing room. She opened the door, quickly slipping through and pulling Adrien with her. People can be ruthless in their ways of getting Jagged’s attention. The last thing she wanted was to invite a throng of crazy people into his private space.

“Is this part of the backstage pass?” Adrien asked wide-eyed.

Marinette couldn’t help a smile. “Not exactly. You could say it’s part of my backstage pass.”

Before Adrien could question the comment, another door across the room from them swung open, and in walked Jagged Stone himself.

“Penny, remind me to never do an indoor concert again. Why didn’t you tell me we’d have less people in a closed area?” He said, setting his guitar on his chair. It was then he spotted the two of them, and Marinette gave a small wave.

“Marinette! How’s my favorite niece?” He beamed, coming over to give her a hug. She hugged him back, only a little disappointed that she had to let go of Adrien’s hand to do so.

“Niece?” The boy in question spoke up, jaw practically on the floor at this point. “You’re related to Jagged Stone?”

The two laughed at his expression, and Jagged quickly jumped in to explain.

“She’s my honorary niece. We’re not related by blood, but I count her as my lovely niece despite that.” 

Adrien nodded dumbly, seemingly too stunned to form words. 

“So who is this anyway?” Jagged continued, glancing at Marinette. “He a friend of yours?”

Marinette swallowed a nervous laugh and nodded herself. Yep. Friend. That is absolutely all he is. I totally don’t want him to be anything more. 

“Uncle Jagged, this is Adrien. He’s one of my friends from school.”

Recognition washed over his features. “Oh, yeah! He’s the boy you’re always telling me about, right?”

A squeak escaped her lips, the tip of the iceberg to the emotional turmoil he’d just thrown her into.

“I-I talk about everybody!” She blurted out, face burning. 

Adrien and Jagged gave her a questioning look which only made her want to sink deeper into a hole and never resurface.

“Well, I’m super excited to meet you.” The blonde remarked, graciously changing the subject. “I have all of your CDs.” 

Jagged straightened with pride. “Course you do, kid. My music is sensational. Would you like an autograph?”

Adrien gasped. “Really? I mean, yes! I’d love one! I don’t have any paper with me though.”

“Oh, that’s alright. Tell you what,” Jagged opened his vanity drawer, digging through it for a moment before pulling out two pieces of paper. “I’ll sign these two backstage tickets to my next concert, and when you come, you can get an official signature. My only condition is that you take Marinette with you.”

Marinette had half a mind to just curl into a ball and die on the spot, especially when Jagged winked at her. Thankfully, Adrien was too excited to notice the exchange and eagerly took the tickets.

“Deal!” 

Penny cleared her throat behind them, taking pity on Marinette herself.

Jagged gave his agent a disappointed look. “Aw, I’ve got to go. I promised a few interviews for the press.” 

He turned back to Adrien. “Don’t forget our deal, alright?”

Marinette face-palmed, but Adrien just grinned. 

“I couldn’t if I tried!” 

Jagged chuckled. “Then I’ll see you there. You too, Marinette.”

She forced a smile. “Yep, I’ll see you.”

Penny shoo-ed them out of the room after that, insisting they had no more time to waste. The door closed behind them, leaving Adrien and Marinette in the crowded area of the stadium again. 

Arms wrapped around Marinette’s shoulders, and she squealed despite herself as she was abruptly pulled against Adrien’s chest.

“Marinette, that was amazing! You’re amazing! Thank you so much!” 

Just like that, she was putty in his arms, dissolving into a stuttering, blushing mess. “Amaz- me? No, I- you’re the amazing one. I mean- Jagged’s amazing.”

“I can’t wait to go with you to the next concert!”

Oh, right. They were going to do this again. She was going to officially attend a concert with Adrien Agreste. Marinette supposed there were worse ways to die.

“I have to go before Father gets upset.” He said, finally pulling away from her and taking his warmth and sunshine with him. “See you at school.”

“At the.. Yeah..” She muttered. How her hand came up to wave at him as he passed she’ll never know. 

Adrien Agreste just hugged her. He held her hand, and told her she was amazing.

Oh, yeah. The headache was definitely worth it.

#adrinette #Adrien Agreste #Marinette #Jagged Stone #Miraculous Ladybug

[matbarzyy]

Wasted Love (part 2) [T.S.]

A/N: Wow look at me post part two soon after I started the series! Now I need to hurry up and write the third part but that’s a tomorrow problem. Thank you to everyone who told me what they thought of the start of the series, it really means the world and I hope you’ll like this part too <3

Word count: 2445

Warnings: an abusive boyfriend

.

“Hello you,” Tyler grinned as he fist bumped her as a greeting. It was hard to do anything else over her desk, and it was now a habit between her and all the guys on the team. “How’s your day going?”

“It’s been good,” Alessia smiled back effortlessly, leaning back into her chair to rest her back for a minute. “How was practice?”

“Pretty fun, we’re all going out for dinner tonight with a few other people, if you want to join,” He threw it out there because it was a work thing and he had never seen her out with everyone before. Alessia only ever joined when everyone was getting lunch somewhere together. Most of the people she worked with were older than her, and predominantly men too. Tyler knew it might be hard for her to be included in plans.

“Oh, thanks, but um, I’ve got to be home with my boyfriend tonight,” She said it with a little sigh, and that prompted Tyler to poke a little bit further.

“Is everything okay at home?” He leaned against the wall with a slight frown. Ever since he had met Alessia he had felt protective of her. She was one of the youngest people working for the team, and she was slowly discovering the industry. He didn’t doubt that she had the skills to do amazing, or she would never have gotten hired, but he liked to keep an eye on her to make sure she was fine.

“We had a little fight, nothing to worry about,” She admitted with a shrug. “I had plans with friends and he got a little annoyed that I haven’t been spending enough time with him, and them my friends got pissed that I cancelled so… yeah, it’ll blow over in a day or two,”

“That sucks, I’m sorry,” He didn’t know what to tell her, she would clearly annoy either her friends or boyfriend no matter what she did now. “You guys been living together long?”

“Almost six months, yeah,” Alessia nodded. “It’s nice, plus rent is so much cheaper divided by two,” She chuckled and Tyler faked a little laugh too.

“Fair enough. I’ve gotta run, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” He stopped himself from mentioning how fucked up that sounded.

Sure, regular people had to worry about money a little more than he did, but he was still sure mentioning saving money to describe how great it was to live with a boyfriend was messed up. He had expected her to say she was happy to see him more often, to come home to him every night, to wake up to him in the morning.

“Of course,” Alessia cut him off from his thoughts, and Tyler pushed himself off the wall.

“Good luck tonight, I hope things settle down at home,” He said it sincerely, but a little voice in the back of his mind nagged him. He didn’t hope things would settle down. He hoped she would break up with the guy that clearly wasn’t giving her the happiness she deserved.

“Thanks Ty,” She waved as he left, and he gave her one last smile before he was out of sight.

.

The fact that Jordan didn’t like it when she spent a night with her friends didn’t sit well with Tyler. It bothered him the first time she told him, but after a couple of weeks he noticed a pattern. Whenever Alessia had plans with a friend it had to be lunch, if it was at night the plans would either get cancelled or she’d show up in a bad mood the next day because she argued with her boyfriend.

Their relationship was obviously fucked up, and Tyler didn’t feel like sitting around and letting her be sad. Surely her boyfriend wouldn’t be able to say anything if she stayed out at night for a work event, so he invited her for drinks with the team and a few other people in admin and services that they got along with.

“Be careful Tyler,” Jamie shook his head disapprovingly as they got changed for their morning skate. “She’s taken,”

“I know that,” The other man grumbled. “We let everyone else we like come along, she’s cool, why wouldn’t I invite her?”

“Because you obviously like her, and she’s got a boyfriend,” Jamie was far from stupid and he knew his friend all too well.

“I’m not trying to make a move, the guy’s an asshole though,” Tyler laced up his skates, huffing as he pulled them on tightly.

“Sounds like someone’s jealous.” The bearded man used a teasing tone as he finished adjusting his own gear.

“I’m not,” Was he?

“Just don’t get into something messy, okay? She’s also just twenty two,” Jamie added. The whole scenario screamed recipe for disaster and he didn’t want to see what would go down if Tyler actually let himself fall for her.

“Way to make me feel old Jamie, thanks for that,” Tyler patted his friend’s shoulder and headed out of the locker room, ready to clear his mind on the ice for a while.

.

The bar was relatively quiet that night if you made an abstraction of the team of giants in green taking up most of the space. Alessia was sitting at the bar on one of the far ends, her hair falling in front of her face to hide herself.

“Is that apple juice?” Tyler slid into the seat next to hers with his own drink, lifting her curtain of hair and pushing it behind her shoulder.

“Yeah, work in the morning, remember?” She smiled, and he couldn’t help but notice how cute she was when the side of her eyes crinkled like that.

“I’ve got practice in the morning too, it’s one drink, won’t kill me,”

“I’m half your size with no muscles, my alcohol tolerance is low,” she chuckled when she saw the whiskey in his hand. One of those was enough to give her a headache. “Besides I’m driving, and I don’t want to see Jordan’s face if I come home after drinking at a work thing,”

“So what? He doesn’t like it when you hang out with your friends, he doesn’t like it when you drink, so you’re just not gonna do anything you want to do?” Tyler cocked his head to the side, pointing out everything he didn’t like about the guy while she shrugged.

“I don’t want to drink, and it’s not stupid of him to say, it’s Tuesday night. It’d be different on a weekend,” Alessia defended him and made it all sound like her own decision, but he was far from stupid.

“Fair enough,” Tyler cleared his throat to move on to something a bit more cheerful. Just hearing the name Jordan got on his nerves and he wanted the night to be fun. “Hey look! Jamie needs someone on his team,” He pointed over to the three men around the pool table. “Do you know how to play?”

“Absolutely not,” she curled further into her seat and a wide grin spread over Tyler’s face.

“Time to learn then!” He put a hand on her arm and gently tugged her up after him.

The guys were generally competitive, but considering that it was her first game they used it to teach her rather than try to win. Jamie and her took turns with Tyler coaching her from the side and showing her how to place her hands or telling her what angle she’d need to hit the ball at.

“Here,” He chuckled, standing close behind Alessia and gently grasping her wrist to adjust her.

He ignored the warning look he received from Jamie and went on with his instructions before stepping back, letting her do the rest on her own.

“Dude, you call her Allie?” Jamie groaned when Alessia was gone. “I’ve seen you like this before and you’re so fucked. You can’t have her,”

“It’s not like that!” He tried to defend himself but his friend didn’t buy it. “Fine, maybe I like her, but we’re just friends. I’m not doing anything,”

“Just don’t be stupid, okay?” The older man warned him again but he dismissed it as he had done every other time.

“It’s a nickname Jamie, not a proposal.”

.

The more Alessia went out for drinks at the end of the night the more she got along with the guys on the team. She didn’t talk to all of them, but Tyler, Jamie and their closer friends were now also her friends. It was refreshing to have a group of people close to her outside of home, and she loved to spend her evenings with them before she came home.

The lack of time she spent home translated into hurtful comments and reactions from Jordan almost daily. It was exhausting, but Tyler was always there to lift her mood in the morning so she found it all worth it. She blamed it on Jordan’s job being stressful at the moment, and on most nights they made up rather quickly with a little bit of effort on her part.

“I’ve just got a couple of emails to reply to,” Alessia opened her laptop on thursday night and Jordan huffed.

“Well maybe you wouldn’t need to do that at night if you weren’t always out with those people having drinks.” He stood in front of her across the table, arms crossed over his chest.

“I never even drink,” She defended herself, typing her reply while trying to ignore Jordan’s grumbles in the background. “It’s good for my career if I have contacts,”

“Enjoy your career then, just go take care of that and forget I exist,” he walked around to stand next to her and Alessia turned to him.

“Jordan I’m not-” she started but got cut off immediately.

“Are you sleeping with one of them? Uh? Is that how you’re building your career? Fucking some rich asshole behind my back?” His voice rose and her eyes widened.

“Of course not!” She insisted, flinching when he yelled.

“I’m always here taking care of you!” He stomped forward and Alessia felt her hands shake. “And yet you’re never here when I come home!”

“I’m sorry, Jordan, please,” she said quietly, trying her best to calm him down.

Jordan only shook his head at her, turning on his heels with her trailing close behind. She wanted to fix things, the emails could wait until morning. He didn’t seem to be in the same mindset as he got to the bedroom and turned around with a glare.

“You can stay out here until you’ve sorted out your priorities.” He slammed the bedroom door, missing her face by a few inches and turning the lock.

Alessia remained still behind it, in shock for a full minute.

Knowing he wouldn’t calm down too fast, she went back to her work and quickly did everything she needed to catch up on. She hoped he had settled down as she walked over to the bedroom with a yawn and tried for the door. It was still locked, so she knocked on it softly.

No answer came from the other side. She could hear him moving in bed, but he didn’t even care enough to get up.

Alessia held back her tears and went back to the couch, eyeing the laundry drying on the rack in a corner of the living room. At least she should still be able to throw a decent work outfit together in the morning. The same couldn’t be said for pajamas, there were no casual clothes drying and Jordan didn’t like it when she wore his stuff.

It was too cold to sleep without clothes on, especially with a small throw blanket rather than the comfy thick duvet that she normally had in bed. So, Alessia found herself with her legs bare and a slightly scratchy sweater on her upper body to stay warm as she curled up on the couch.

.

When she made it to the office in the morning she felt like crying. She had barely slept, she was exhausted both mentally and physically and she was already dreading the night ahead of her.

“What do you need?” She nearly growled when Tyler strolled into her office without a knock.

“Uh, never mind,” he swallowed and took a small step back.

“Okay?” Alessia looked up from her screen with an eyebrow raised, waiting on his next move. Did he need her or was he just standing there for no reason?

“I don’t really want to make you work right now, I don’t mean to be rude, but you look like shit,” Tyler unfroze a few seconds later and pulled a chair out to sit across from her.

“Thanks Ty,” A dry chuckle fell from her lips, and she rubbed her hands over her face. “I’m kinda sleep deprived,”

“What happened?” He stopped himself from reaching over to move her hair away from her face.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Alessia sighed. “Jordan and I were arguing over something dumb, I spent the night on the couch and it’s ridiculously uncomfortable,”

“It’s not dumb if you didn’t even want to go back to bed,” Tyler gently pryed a little further.

“More like he didn’t want me in there,” she rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair and fiddling with a pencil. She was staring at her hands rather than at him because she could already guess what he was about to say.

“I know it’s none of my business,” Tyler said it slowly so that he could think over his words. “But you’re my friend, and your relationship sounds really fucked up,”

“I swear it’s not as bad as it sounds, besides it’s just one night,” Alessia argued weakly, she always tried to defend him, she always had an excuse.

“You’re old enough to make your own decisions,” He shrugged. Tyler was good at hiding how furious he was, it wasn’t directed towards her so she didn’t need to see it. “But it he was mad enough to refuse to sleep next to you, he should have been the one taking the couch,”

“He’s not a bad person,” Alessia looked up then, but her words weren’t convincing.

“You know him better than I do, I guess,” Tyler let out a long sigh. He didn’t know what else to say to her, and he was afraid that pushing her would stop her from confiding in him in the future. “Call me if that happens again, okay? I live fifteen minutes away, I’ve got three empty guest rooms, and I’m sure they’re more comfortable than your couch.”

.

Please reblog and let me know what you thought!

#tyler seguin #tyler seguin fic #nhl fic #hockey fic #dallas stars #tyler seguin imagine #wasted love #tyler seguin fluff #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #writing #wasted love 2

[soulwillower]

long way home • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

requested:  please please please do a richie x reader about long way home by 5sos

warnings: nothing really, some mentions of canonic trauma but its really vague and underaged drinking

i was happy to write this bc it def got me out of my slump! lmk if yall want more fics

(also i loved 5sos so much back when the self titled album came out in like 2014. i was such a huge fan in middle school so this was so nostalgic to write!!) 

[reader + losers are in their first year of college, set around early summer 1995.]

2.9k words

♡

"i don't really know what else to do. we have an hour and a half until we meet everyone." you say, breaking the momentary silence that had fallen upon the car after bev had climbed out the back. you hum, settling back against the passenger seat, head lulling to meet richie's gaze.

 you can't help but smile. he's looking at you - just staring, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. he hums, too, turning his head, arm grabbing the shoulder of your seat as he backs up the car. "i have an idea. let's just go - what?" he asks, smiling with a chuckle as he catches you staring at him.

you blink as you flush, "i don't know. just really missed you." you say with a laugh, shaking your head as memories flood your mind. his face flickers for a second and he shakes his head, hair bouncing slightly in his flattery. "gee, i missed you too. it kinda sucks that we all went to opposite sides of the country." 

you blow air from your lips gently in agreement as richie starts to drive somewhere east. "yeah. not seeing you for six months is, surprisingly, pretty shitty." you say, causing richie to snort. "you could barely handle it." he says, hand shifting gears as he stops at a stop sign. 

you roll your eyes, but you don't tell him the truth: he's right. "let me tell you, when i got the bear last, i sure wanted to forget all about you." you say, kicking your feet up on his dash. 

you and the other losers all split ways after graduation. of course, you all still kept in touch with phone calls, letters, and that of the sort. but you all had found a favorite way to all still feel close together: a toy canvas bear bev found that you all signed and drew on, shipping it around the country and letting it stay with each person for a week. 

you'd all been printing photographs of the bear with yourselves at various places around all your campuses and sending them along with the bear as little post cards. the most recent from richie had the tattooed-bear propped next to him at a party, smirking with the bear in a vulgar position that had made you roll your eyes so hard you almost got a headache.

 that was in april, and you spent the month and a half after that missing richie and your other dumbass friends so much it hurt. 

richie smiles, "oh, yeah. that bear had some fun times with us up in the ol' N-Y-C."  "-don't call it that."  "-anyways, i did miss you guys, i wish you could meet my roommate, charlie, he's a hoot. i almost wanted to stay up there and have you come to me, y'know?"  you nod, all too familiar with that feeling. "yeah, i wanted to do that too. there was some kind of-" you stop, frowning. do you really want to admit this to anyone? will they think it's weird? but then you remember it's richie. "-i don't know, some kind of dread i felt at having to come back here." 

it's quiet for a second, and you think you said something wrong, but richie's knuckles tighten slightly and he nods, "me too. i have...bad feelings from this place. i didn't want to say anything, but- i don't know. i feel like something's..." but the thought seems to swim away from his voice, getting lost in the dredges of his brain.  

and then as if on cue, the old car bumps its way over a speedbump and you cross past old neibolt street near the tracks. 

 a sick shiver runs down your spine as your eyes fall on the long road, fading away and extending as far as your eye can see...almost into a foggy dark haze, the train tracks running parallel making you feel desolate. 

clouds suddenly move to cover the sun in the sky and you feel cold - you feel like something happened here, something important - but you have no idea. it makes you anxious, so you just swallow, saying nothing and instead looking ahead. richie does the same, and his knuckles are pale against the wheel. 

"the only reason i came back was so i could see everyone." you say. it's quiet, but you know richie's agreeing with you. 

the car rumbles on, eventually pulling past your old high school. you perk up, pointing to the glass and laughing. "wow, look at that shithole." 

"swore we'd never go back there, didn't we? when we left?" richie says, amusement lacing his tone. you're clearly both relieved to have changed the subject, and you nod, chewing your lip. "yeah. you know, i know it was really terrible and stuff, but i have some pretty fond memories from that place." 

humming, richie nods and slowly pulls into the parking lot. “remember those days?” he says, “kickin back in the ol’ schoolyard during lunch.” 

you do remember those hot days, richie, bill and bev smoking cigs while you and eddie play a game of marbles or scramble to copy richie’s math homework. ben reading a book, mike eating stan’s sandwich. the heat barreling down on the eight of you... 

he stops the car next to the football field and you snort slightly at its misery in the dying purple and blue of the summer twilight. "remember those bonfires that were always over in the woods right there?" he points a chipped nail towards the dense trees on the other side of the field, and you can see it. 

the crackling of the wood, the orange glow reflecting the light strands of stan’s dark curls. there’s a sea of students from your class and the class above, everyone rowdy with drunken fun. there’s laughter drowned out by the boombox placed on the outskirts, blasting a salt-n-peppa song that has eddie bouncing around with some kids from track. over to the side, you can nearly see bev's lips curl around a note as richie strums on someone else's guitar, putting together some surprisingly pleasant chords while mike throws twigs into the fire, singing softly with richie and bev. 

you can almost smell the smoky hot air from those nights and you remember the odd sensation of feeling invincible back in those days, when your greatest fear was nothing more than coming across your parents when you were too hungover to remember anything the next morning. 

it’s almost melancholic, the realization that you’ll never have those years again. you’ll never have your friend group in the same way as you did in high school, and it was barely over a year ago. it hurts a bit, until you realize you’re here, in the car with richie. 

but still, despite the feeling, you grin. “why did we think it was a good idea to party so close to the school?” 

richie chuckles, “it was safer. for some reason.” 

it makes you smile, "i wonder if those pabst cans are still hidden in all those hollow logs." you muse, a gentle smile splaying over your lips. richie huffs a small laugh at the memory of jorge garcia drunkenly stuffing the empty beer cans quickly into the log when the cops came. 

a car pulls into the vacant lot behind you, and richie takes the liberty of driving away again, still not really sure where you're going. 

the trees roll past, and soon you're passing through the downtown section of derry, causing the two of you to fall silent as your eyes flick up and down the nearly desloate streets. the aladdin passes by quickly and you remember going to see so many films with the others for less than five bucks a pop, richie slipping an arm around your shoulders and whispering in your ear about the weird worker who always gave you the eyes. 

you smile lightly as your eyes fall to look ahead, passing the corner store. you remember how many times you and richie and stan stopped there after classes or during lunch to grab slushes while the workers weren’t looking. you remember the sticky fingers and bright blue tongues. 

then as you stare more at the ugly front of the store, memories from middle school scratch the surface of your brain. "didn't the boys..." you say, perking up as you turn and watch it pass, richie looking at you attentively. "-eyes on the road, rich." you say absent-mindedly, "...didn't they... steal stuff from there? i can't remember why... it was for ben. tissues?" you ask, tilting your head. richie's brows furrow. "i had to stay outside with him, all i remember is bein' pissed i couldn't go in. dunno why, though." he mutters. you hum, sinking back in your seat. 

"crazy, how quickly you forget your childhood." he says quietly. 

the town slowly fades away before your eyes, and its just then that you realize you're going the opposite way from bill's. then it's plain grassland and marshes, dipping into the barrens. your lips twitch and the silence, while pleasant, makes you feel nervous. 

you look to richie, all nervous slowly releasing from your body. 

you feel stupid for thinking it, and you don't dare say it, but there's something really sweet about being in the middle of nowhere with him. 

you feel like driving along this ugly, terrible road on the outskirts of a truly ugly and terrible town with someone as beautiful and captivating as richie is such an important moment; as if the roads along here are a place only you and richie share to yourselves. 

"i kind of like taking the long way home with you." you let slip instead, instantly feeling hot and panicked as the words leave your mouth. "y-you know, because i just really didn't want to- er, i don't like being-" 

as you stutter out some excuses, he leans forward towards the wheel, face turning to you with a smirk. "oh?" he asks. you feel flustered, your hands sweating and heart tingling as you stare at his handsome face. 

"god, sorry." you say, feeling flushed, "i don't know why i keep rambling. it's so awkward." 

"y/n, you could talk about anything." he says with a laugh, and you look at him, trying to ignore the sheer zoo of animals parading around in your stomach and instead escaping this moment with a sarcastic, "even dead squirrels?" 

he rolls his eyes and shakes his head, his hair glinting in the light. "yeah, whatever baby. i just don't wanna be wasting my time alone when i could be here with you. that's what i'm trying to say." 

and the stupid pet name almost makes you snort but you also get butterflies, the words that he's said making you smile so wide you're almost embarrassed. "yeah, well." you say bashfully, "i guess spending my time with you is, like... the best part of coming back home." 

you avoid eye contact, staring out the window as you pass the house of your junior year bio partner. "hey," richie nudges your jaw and you almost jump at the feeling of his cold ring against the warmth of your skin. he speaks softly. "i'd never let you down, you know." he says, mischief in his eyes. you smile against his hand and look at him, his blue eyes warm and inviting and looking like home. 

your eyes fall back towards the windshield and you see a sign up ahead. shifting, you look at richie again to find him still staring. 

he's got such a terrible habit of watching you instead of the road (he has since high school), and that combined with his lead foot (also since high school - wentworth tozier was a menace on the streets) has you conditioned into reminding him of every obstacle that he may run into while driving. 

"stop sign, richie." you mutter, knowing in his ramble he won't notice it (it happened way too many times as high schoolers). he seems to not really hear it, and you say again, "stop sign!"

just before it's too late, the car lurches as he slams the breaks and you just barely hit the white line, your hands bracing yourself against the dashboard. "oh my god." you hiss, shaking your head. richie's laughing. 

"we've been hitting every red light. can't i just have one pass to not stop at one of these things?" richie says. you roll your eyes with a slight head shake. you can't believe him. 

"you'll be the death of me, tozier." you mutter. richie's still laughing quietly and then he takes a big sigh, hand reaching out. you lean forward, hand reaching for the volume knob on the stereo just as richie does the same, and your hands brush by accident. you feel warm and instead of pulling away, his hand covers yours and he gently turns your hands, bringing up the volume of a green day song. it's seemingly just in the background as you watch your hand in richie's, then slowly turning your gaze up to his face. 

he just stares at you as you stare back, wanting so badly to kiss him but wondering if he feels the same. 

"hey." he whispers, quiet for the first time possibly ever. "hey." you respond softly, watching as he comes a bit closer. his hand is still in yours. "i am so happy to be home. with you." he says sincerely, his eyes wide and honest behind his glasses and his smile soft.  your breath catches slightly and you smile, "me too. i always feel like this is the way it's supposed to be. u-us." 

something in richie's eyes change, a light of sort, and then he's leaning into you and you're kissing. 

his hand that isn't in yours falls to softly rub your thigh and you're taking a shuddering breath as your lips touch his. he tastes like mint chapstick and those stupid red-hots he was eating earlier, his lips slightly cold but his tongue warm as he slowly pulls you closer to him. 

your mind almost falls blank as the world melts away, the only thing in your mind is how long you've missed out on this - richie is kind of unexpectedly a fantastic kisser. you pull him closer by his hair as his tongue grazes yours, his thumb tilting your jaw for a better angle. 

but suddenly a horn honks loudly behind you and you both spring apart, your stomach panging with anxiety at the noise.

"shit." you hiss as you remember you're at a stop sign. richie snorts slightly, a smirk on his face despite the blush on his high cheekbones, feet going back to the gas pedal and clutch. his hand leaves your thigh as he drives forward and you clear your throat as the car turns behind you at the intersection, leaving you two back in the middle of nowhere with just you two. 

it's tense for a few minutes, neither of you two really talking and you can tell the tension is going to kill richie, his hand twitching on the shift and his leg bouncing. 

you break the silence after a couple more moments, "did you want to pull over-"  "-yes." he says quickly, car almost swerving as he pulls off the road near the quarry. you laugh and grip the handle of the car as you slide to a stop and he laughs too, the feeling of glee unmatchable. 

you both unclick your seatbelts after gaining a few breaths, and then you're leaning over the console to kiss richie hard enough on the lips that he falls back towards the window. he holds your face with his hands and he laughs a bit into the kiss, teeth grazing your bottom lip before tugging it. "goddamn, you're eager." he mutters into your mouth. 

you smirk, pulling back. "fine, i don't have to kiss you. we have to be at bill's soon, anyways." you say, feigning a fake dismissive voice. 

"wait, no, no. we've still got 20 minutes." richie defends after glancing at the stereo on the dash. his eyebrows raising in a plea. you giggle, leaning towards him and bringing your arm over. he's beaming as your face nears his and he moves to kiss you but you turn your head, instead letting his lips graze your neck as you lean to turn off the headlights.

"tease." richie mutters hotly against the skin of your neck before biting down softly, kissing over the skin. "i thought you said i was eager?" you say with a teasing smile. he hums, "y'know, it's pretty unfair to be teasin' me, toots. i've been eager to kiss you since we were seventeen." he says, and you can't help but smile, pulling him in to a kiss as his hands slide up your thighs and yours tangle in his messy curls.

you pull away slightly, "you want to get in the backseat?" 

taglist:  @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier​  @sft-core @clownsloveyou  @moon-shine-baby​ @trashedfortozier  @daughter-of-the-stars11 @oceandog13​ @chl0bee @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @screammin @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters @five-motherfucking-hargreeves @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter  

© all content belongs to soulwillower 2020. do not modify, repost, or redistribute.

#richie tozier x reader #losers x reader #losers club x reader #bill denbrough x reader #stanley uris x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #beverly marsh x reader #mike hanlon x reader #ben hanscom x reader

[crystalrose555]

Don’t make me slap you pt 31

“We’re under attack! Help, send out the royal guard!” No. 2 screamed as he burst into the garden where Diavolo and Barbatos resided with afternoon tea.

However, before he could manage to explain, Little D No. 2 was gripped tightly by an out-of-breath Mammon. As his brothers made their appearance in a gruff and hurried fashion, he squished down the little demon.

“Shut up before people start thinkin’ we’re tryin’ to take over the place!” He growled.

“Once usurpers, always usurpers, Pa-”

Little D No. 2 didn’t even have a chance to finish his taunt as Mammon threw him as hard as he could into the distance. Everyone stared at him as he heaved for breath and dusted off his hands.

“What!? The little jerk can fly and we have more important stuff, remember!?”

“For once, Mammon’s right. Lord Diavolo, do you care to explain?”

Diavolo smiled while placing his cup down on the saucer.

“Explain what, may I ask?”

Levi pushed his way to the front of his brothers as he pulled out his phone and showed its content with a fierce blush on his face.

“Don’t cast Confusion, what is with this!?”

“Ah yes, that is the Devilgram post that Marley sent to tell you all that she was alright.” He answered.

“Yeah, but what’s with that picture!?”

“Oh, Marley believed a picture would be best to announce her recovery since you weren’t answering your D.D.D.s.”

“Then why did she take it while sitting on your lap like that!?” Levi screamed while pointing at the familiar red cloth in the background of Marley who posed provocatively with a seductive cheekiness.

Diavolo scratched his face with his finger and looked away with a small chuckle.

“Ah yes, she claimed it would be a better angle and insisted on taking it that way, something about an interesting background and composition.”

“Aww, she remembered my posting lessons~”

“Asmo, you're the reason behind such a lewd picture!?”

“Yeah, I taught her some secrets of breaking into the top posts on Devilgram but I never dreamed that she would get the top rank ahead of yours truly. That cheeky little minx used Lord Diavolo’s account to promote her selfie. I’m mostly upset because I never thought about taking a picture on Lord Diavolo’s lap. Actually, Lord Diavolo, can I-”

Asmo, however, didn’t get to finish his request as the piercing gaze of his elder brothers burned holes in the back of his head. Surprisingly, the most intense stares were coming from Lucifer whose face had run cold with his full disdain for the overall situation. Diavolo, on the other hand, looked on in confusion.

“I thought you all would be happy to learn that Marley’s alive and well.”

“We were until we saw what was happening in Devilgram. The entire app has crashed three times from the sudden flux of viewers and comments on your account. Not to mention the entire rumor mill from RAD has blown up in multitudes and hasn’t decreased since the picture was posted.” Satan answered.

“The mere thought about the amount of work ahead is giving me a headache that could rival the pain of the fall.” Lucifer coldly added.

Diavolo’s eyes widened at the sudden comment.

“Wait, you still wish to follow me, Lucifer? After everything?”

Lucifer sighed heavily.

“Of course, you saved Lilith and I swore my loyalty to you for it. My oath remains just as it did before, though the burden has shifted in a way that I’ve never planned for.”

Diavolo blinked and turned his attention to the other brothers who showed a range of feelings upon their faces.

“I mean, yeah, y’all lied to all of us but all that don’t matter since Lilith got the chance to live how she wanted.” Mammon added.

“...With the human she loved. And we couldn’t be by her side but her happiness is all that counts at this point.”

“Not to mention their love brought us Mochi in the end and I’ll never regret that~” 

“Y-Yeah, it’s a little cliche but I got a best friend from all of this. A Henry that doesn’t think I’m a worthless otaku and who cares about what I care about.”

“Not to mention she made hangin’ out with y’all more tolerable.”

“You’re only saying that because she had all that gold, you money-grubber.”

“Oi, at least I wasn’t squishin’ her face whenever I saw here, ya blond little geek.”

The brothers’ unity turned to discord as they argue amongst themselves, accusing and ratting out one another’s secrets. Lucifer just held his temples as he felt a dull pain radiating throughout his head. Seeing this, Diavolo’s shoulders slumped as the tension left them upon seeing the brothers whom he took into his kingdom were now freely losing face in front of him. They were still supportive of him despite his hand in the secrets they suffered. However, he couldn’t fully relax as his eyes laid upon the reclusive twins who remained in the background.

“And you two? You both should have the most to say about all of this after everything.” Diavolo asked, directing the conversation.

Beel stood firm while Belphie avoided the prince’s gaze, clinging to his brother’s sleeve. Feeling the tightening grasp, Beel placed his large hand over his twin’s pale one.

“Marley would always snack with me and when she was with me, it didn’t feel like I was alone as much. And I will always be grateful to her for bringing Belphie back to us and letting us know the truth about our sister. Right, Belphie?”

Everyone’s gaze slowly shifted to Belphie who shrunk behind Beel further. Diavolo remained silent before asking the brothers to join him at his table as he did before, with a smile across his face.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“...As long as she’s alright, I don’t care...”

A drawn-out groan came out of some brothers while the other half held their faces. Beel, however, just placed his hand firmly on Belphie’s head while stuffing his face with cake.

“What Belphie meant to say was he wanted to thank her and apologize properly.”

“Yeah, we older brothers have to make sure the baby apologizes when he messes up.” Mammon teased as he pulled on Belphie’s cheek.

“Knock it off, Mammon or-”

“Or what? You gonna push me down the stairs and set me on fire too?”

Nearly all of his brothers gave Mammon a look of disgust and disapproval.

“Oi, I was the one who had to keep everyone’s head above water, so I get a pass!”

“Alright then, when Marley forgives Belphie we can string Mammon up and hit him until he returns all the things he owes us since we’re in a gracious mood for his steady support.” Lucifer coldly suggested.

“How is that thankin’ me!? Where’s Marley anyway, she’ll back me up on this!” Mammon demanded.

“Yes, she’s the reason we all came here, Lord Diavolo. So where is she?”

Diavolo paced his fork down next to his cake.

“Oh, she’s already back home. I sent her back after she took the pictures upon her request.”

Nearly all of the brothers frowned upon hearing the news except for Lucifer and Levi who froze in mid-drink and bite respectively.

“Aww, she went back after all of this, that’s a shame. I wanted to go shopping with her.” Asmo paused.

“And I wanted to talk about the books she left me.” 

“...Diavolo...”

“Yes, Lucifer?”

“You said pictures just now...” He strained out as his teacup trembled slightly in his grasp.

Diavolo blinked obliviously as he nodded with a smile while Levi roughly dropped his fork to the plate with a clang.

“Meaning more than one?”

“Yes, she took multiple pictures to use with my D.D.D.”

Satan, Mammon, and Asmo joined their brothers in astonished horror while Belphie and Beel remained as if nothing was wrong. Barbatos continued to serve with a smile on his face.

“So, the pictures, Lord Diavolo, are they still on your D.D.D.?”

“Oh no, Marley placed them in a thing called a queue.” He answered with a wonderful smile.

“...the queue for Devilgram?” 

“Yes, she then programmed it to release a post every so often so her message wouldn’t get buried.”

The only sound that was heard at the tea-table was Lucifer shattering his teacup in his hand while Levi ripped the table cloth with his own iron grip. The second, fourth, and fifth brother bit their laughing tongues to avoid becoming victim to the impending wave of rage.

“Lucifer, you shattered your teacup.”

“My apologies, my nerves are just reaching their limit. Sir, please hand your D.D.D. over to Leviathan, will you?”

With a disappointed pout, Diavolo followed Lucifer’s request as Levi snatched the device away and frantically tried to purge the possible scandalous pictures of his precious Henry.

“And do you dare save any of those pictures, Leviathan.” Lucifer coldly threatened.

“Yeah unless you’re going to share them with the rest of us~”

“DARMARE!!!*”

*Shut the fuck up! In Japanese

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marley sighed happily as her weary bones were soaked in her own tub. Taking deep breaths, she took in the residue of sea air from her open bathroom window. However, she suddenly felt her skin itching as if someone was poking her with a dull pencil, causing her to leave the bathroom with a sigh. Wrapping herself in her bathrobe, Marley made her way to the ground level of her home where the younglings continued to poke at her resting pelt. 

“Can you all knock it off, I’m trying to relax!”

“Sorry, but it’s so weird. What happened to your pelt?”  

“If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.”

“True but you’ve never been gone that long before.”

“And your pelt is all fancy now. Did you trade in your old one? I wanna new skin.”

Marley chuckled as she took her pelt in hand and sat on the couch while inviting her young interrogators to join her. She then leaned back and closed her eyes.

“So where’s Nixie?”

“They went to get takeout and don’t change the subject. You left for a long time, you didn’t bring any treasure back and your pelt is completely different, so you better start talking, Marley.”

Marley sighed again as she stroke her black and white fur. She opened her eyes only to be greeted by curious eyes.

“Fine, geez, you guys are worse than seagulls. But, I’ll tell you the story when Nixie gets back with the food. For now, I’ll just give you the title.”

“And that is?”

Marley smirked happily.

“Mochi in the realm of Geeks.”

#obey me shall we date #obey me! #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me fanfic #obey me fandom #mochi #mochi story fanfic #crystalrose555 #obey me mc #obey me oc #selkie

[magioftheseas]

Gundham & Yasuke

Summary: The Forbidden Tanaka’s FTEs in the SDR2 Protagonist Matsuda Yasuke AU. YES.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Language and blood/injuries.

Notes: Unsurprisingly, Tanaka was the winner of the poll for which FTEs were to be done next. So his FTEs, quite hilariously, are getting posted on the anniverary date for sdr2′s initial release. That feels pretty...fitting. Writing Tanaka’s dialogue was really hard but I did my best. Despite my best efforts, these two don’t get along the best that they could. Cursed.

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

Commission? Donate?

It went without saying that he didn’t have a normal middle school experience so he didn’t interact with a lot of people who exhibited the so-called eighth-grader syndrome. But he knew that once kids had the cognitive ability to identify their lot in life and long for more, such desires could get...twisted, to say the least.

Just about everyone wants to be fucking special if they’re not too focused on surviving. And most people grew ashamed of the lofty aspirations and special interests they developed in that delicate era. Matsuda understood that much, even if he was considerably detached from it. In some ways, those people were like animals. Strange beasts that acted on impulses and instincts. That still had intelligence but not, like, awareness. When it came to engaging with these types, Matsuda had no choice but to accept them even as he shook his head at their delusions of grandeur.

He understands he’s supposed to do that in theory.

In practice, however...

“Sharp-tongued fool!” Tanaka bellowed. “You draw too near to the barrier of the Ice Kingdom!”

It’s a beautiful day outside. It’s always a beautiful fucking day. Clear, sunny sky. Warm but with a pleasant breeze to keep it from being too sweltering. It’s such a nice day—and Matsuda Yasuke does not want to be here.

Without another word, he turns on his heel.

“Aha!” Tanaka sneered. “To think just the warning prose would be enough to make you turn tail and run. A cowardice I did not expect, but perhaps... I should have.”

While walking away and listening to that guy cackle to himself, all Matsuda had in response was to flip him off.

He proceeded to avoid Tanaka for the rest of the day—and would’ve avoided him for the rest of his life had fate not had something else in store.

--

It was another beautiful day. The perfect day for a walk. He was thinking by the ranch so that he could admire the chickens as he passed. Unfortunately, he not only came across chickens but also the cow that used to be a chicken he quite liked.

Also Tanaka Gundam.

And their eyes ended up meeting.

There’s no real point in reasoning with someone who exhibits grandiose delusions, he reminded himself. It’s no good to denounce them, but it’s also no good to enable them. It’s a delicate line that I do not want to fucking bother with.

Matsuda does look away, intent on ignoring the other. Despite that resolve, his thoughts don’t shut up.

I didn’t have any peers in middle school for obvious reasons. I never actually spoke to someone my own age who felt this way. I was too busy being fixated on my own goals and lofty aspirations.

A couple of steps forward. It’s fine. If he continued the way he was already going, he can just pass Tanaka. It’d be easy. Simple.

...

Fuck.

He pauses. He turns. Tanaka has already turned away, but as if guided by the third sense of a fucking Evil All-Seeing Eye, he turns back to Matsuda. His brow quirks.

“Has the barrier truly weakened so?”

“I don’t know,” Matsuda replied intelligently. “For some reason, I feel too worn down to go through the effort of pretending you don’t exist.”

Tanaka cackled lowly.

“Such an insolent remark. It seems you do not truly know your place. But that is just as well. Even now, your true name is one that seems out of my grasp.”

“I’m Matsuda Yasuke. Nice to meet you.”

Tanaka clicked his tongue, scowling at Matsuda’s blank expression and his deadpan tone.

“That,” he snarled. “Is merely a brush against the surface. It does not encompass the deepest depths of your rogue soul.”

Alright. So he wants to know what makes me tick. If I had to guess.

“Your true name,” Tanaka requested impatiently. “I have no need for superficial titles.”

“That’s cold,” Matsuda huffed. “The name my mom gave me isn’t superficial.”

...even if it is ironic.

For some reason, Tanaka does perk up. He gives a nod of approval.

“A fair retort,” he concedes. “That maternal bond is its own scarring shackle.”

That admission was the first true crack in the wall between them. Or so Matsuda supposed, and he felt himself slip just a little bit further.

What a headache...

“Anyway,” he went on with a wave of his hand. “It’d be incredibly foolish to give you my true name, right? If telling a demon my name gives them possession of my soul and telling them my birthday gives them control of my life... Then telling someone like you...”

Tanaka nodded again, grinning so widely it was damn near grotesque.

“I see...the sharp-tongued fool is still retaining a sharp mind...”

I shouldn’t have played along even in jest. Fuck.

“What special abilities do you possess?” Tanaka purrs, drawing closer now. “What hidden capabilities have you acquired?”

Tanaka stalks even closer, his eyes are flashing with curiosity and hunger. Probably because this fucking weirdo wouldn’t understand a normal interaction if it bit him in the face.

I still hate that stare. I fucking hate that stare.

“You already know that,” Matsuda snapped, forcing himself to stay relaxed. “Neurology is my talent. You even know my name and birthday because of those damn student files...”

Calm down, calm down. It’s just fucking Tanaka—

Tanaka does halt. His head tilts quizzically.

“Hmph.” With nostrils flaring, Tanaka seemed to duck into his own scarf. “I suppose you are human after all.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Simple.” Tanaka chuckled. “I sensed your apprehension, Matsuda Yasuke. I sensed—and yet, I could tell it was not a chill brought about by the Ice Kingdom.”

Matsuda does flinch at that.

“I shall take my leave for now so that you may re-gather your peace,” Tanaka declared. “Till next time, sharp-tongued fool.”

Tanaka gave him a salute. Matsuda barely had a chance to wave back before Tanaka flipped his scarf and coat so that it would dramatically billow behind him as he made his overly dramatic exit. So fucking extra, and yet—

He left so that I could take the time to calm down.

And how the hell was he supposed to feel about that?

--

“Even now, I can hear the crackling of the Ice Kingdom’s barrier.” Tanaka was cackling. Another beautiful day. Yet somehow this weirdo was set on shrouding himself in asinine mystery as well as his own dark layers. How the hell was he not burning up?

Tanaka noticed his staring and merely smirked. “What brings you today, Matsuda Yasuke?”

Aah. Even with that pompous fucking tone, it’s an understandable question.

“I don’t like things to be unbalanced,” he said which was a bald-faced lie but sounded persuasive enough. “Since you interrogated me last time, I thought I’d ask you a few questions of my own.”

“Hmph!” Tanaka snorted. “You seek a comprehension that may underlie a deep terror that cannot be contained! Do you not fear for your sanity?”

“No, I’m insane already,” Matsuda said flatly. “I drove myself insane years ago.”

“Is that SO?!” Tanaka boomed, incredulous or admiring, Matsuda wasn’t sure. “Your humanity is one that only hangs by a thread, then?!”

I...can’t disagree with that, huh.

Matsuda shrugged.

“We’re not supposed to be talking about me. Let’s talk about you.”

Tanaka remained guarded but gave a nod.

“Very well. Demi-human or no, I shall not lose to you.”

That’s more like it. You’re much less annoying this way.

“What talents do you have?” he settles on since it’s only fair. “Even if it’s not the full roster, I’d like to know some...special abilities.”

“You shall only get a portion,” Tanaka said, sniffing. “Despite my appearance, I’m an active fiend. Between sorcery and human hunting, I manage my website.”

Matsuda blinked, trying to imagine this guy at a computer. Actually, it was really easy to imagine. There’s no way Tanaka learned to talk like an edgelord on his own.

I bet he spends a lot of time looking up stupid shit like Norse mythology. But, if he has a website, then...

“I have encrypted my research with magic,” Tanaka informed him. “Thus, only those worthy can gain access.”

...if he means through password then I could probably hack in with ease.

“If I had to guess what kind of research it was,” Matsuda mused. “Then—probably something like a pet diary, right?”

There were a series of muffled squeaks from Tanaka’s scarf. Tanaka burst into a boisterous boom of laughter.

“Even with your wits, you would only be able to access the dummy site!” Tanaka grinned victoriously, even though no conflict had taken place. “Your skill level would only open the gates of the Exciting Breeding Journal.”

“...Alright. That’s fine by me.”

You’re literally here because of your talent in animal husbandry.

“Favorite food?” Matsuda asked next. Tanaka stiffened. Growled, even. Because he was pissed off about getting such a lukewarm response? Matsuda didn’t bother inquiring, instead pressing, “Do you have one?”

“The orange melon that bears the face of the devil,” Tanaka huffed, put out. “No other food compares in terms of high nutrients or versatility in cooking methods. More importantly, its seeds are the most effective food source for my Four Dark Devas of Destruction.”

...a pumpkin. He’s talking about a pumpkin, right?

“However! Those seeds must be carefully washed, carefully dried, carefully peeled,” Tanaka rambled on. “And lightly fried.”

“How meticulous,” Matsuda muttered. “But nothing less for...them.”

“Indeed. A difficulty that beguiles pain and pleasure alike matters not in the face of a grand purpose.”

I can agree with that even if I hate how it’s worded.

“There is more when it comes to the caring of beasts,” Tanaka rumbled. “Shall I lead you deeper?”

“Uh.” Matsuda waved his hand. “Next time. Let’s talk more next time.”

Tanaka gave him a truly wicked grin. For once, it actually felt malicious.

“Take as much time you need to prepare yourself, sharp-tongued fool.”

Matsuda made a face but bit his tongue.

Piece of shit.

--

Tanaka wasn’t out and about today at the ranch. He wasn’t in the diner, either. It went to reason that he was likely in his cottage.

It’s only because I found some pumpkin seeds that I’m even going...

When he knocked on the door, he found it unlocked. Since he wasn’t an animal, he was going to wait for Tanaka to answer the door rather than barge in but...

“Ku—!”

He heard a noise. A sharp, strangled sound that was undeniably made through gritted teeth. Matsuda opened the door immediately.

“Is everything alright?”

And indeed—Tanaka was holding his bloodied hand in a death grip. The hamsters were chirping and chittering, but unaffected. What happened was clear, especially in how Tanaka’s shoulders were hunched.

Thankfully, Matsuda carried around packets of wet wipes. He rummaged through his pocket for one, stepping forward and reaching out.

“Let me...”

“NO!” Tanaka shrieked, and like a startled beast he scrambled away from his hand. He was panting, still gripping his injury with a wide and wild-eyed stare. Seeing Matsuda there did little to calm him down, as he growled, “The blood that flows through my veins bears a fearsome curse. You must step away now to spare yourself their potency.”

Thankfully, Matsuda carried around disposable gloves. He slipped them on, tearing the wet wipe packet open, and made his way closer.

“Come on. We really don’t want that bite to get infected.”

“This is not my first blood sacrifice,” Tanaka snarled, even showing his teeth. Gross. “I have no need for your medical sorcery. And furthermore, that meager covering...!”

“Oh my fucking god, shut the hell up.” Matsuda snatched up his hand, prying the other off as Tanaka shrieked some more. Thankfully, Matsuda was able to pull it away and got to work dabbing and cleaning the wound. Tanaka had completely frozen now, but Matsuda was still fuming.

“Don’t ever fucking call me meager,” he snapped, and thankfully Tanaka had spare clean bandages for him to re-wrap his hand with. “Crude and foolish I’ll take. Meager I won’t.”

Tanaka finally scoffed as Matsuda made sure the bandaging was secure.

“A demi-human like you has such pride.”

Look who’s fucking talking.

“You should not have endangered yourself, however,” Tanaka went on. “I was not telling falsehoods about my poisonous blood. It is only by a thread that you have not already deteriorated. As crude and foolish as you are, I do not desire your demise.”

“I’ve dealt with my fair share of poison, so you’re worrying too much,” Matsuda replied but winced from a sudden headache. As he rubbed removed his gloves to rub his temples, Tanaka stood up.

“You once again face the ramifications for your hubris!” he exclaimed and rushed back to deal with his hamsters. “I grant you relief, and I advise you to take your leave immediately.”

“I’m fucking fine, it’s just a migraine,” Matsuda griped and disposed of the gloves and wipes. “Should you really be handling those hamsters again so soon?”

“They are not mere hamsters!” Tanaka bellowed. “The fangs I have taken are that of the Crimson Steel Elephant, Maga-Z!”

Maga-Z blinked its bright beady eyes at Matsuda.

“For the sake of the Invading Black Dragon, Cham-P,” Tanaka went to coo over the largest hamster which was orange, not black. “A golden demon, one who understands fear all too well... Much attention should be heeded to make sure they do not get overly stressed out... While many devil beasts of this ilk are aggressive and fearfully territorial, the golden variant is the most docile and intelligent. They recognize me as...”

He trails off. It’s as if he’s too moved to speak.

I have heard hamsters had an unnaturally high rate of cannibalism, Matsuda thought. But I suppose like with dog breeds, they come in all sizes...and temperaments...

It was obvious Tanaka knew his shit, being an Ultimate at all. But seeing it firsthand, watching him dote on the beasts with a cottage interior largely dedicated to their cage and tube, the guy definitely loved animals. Like, a lot. Despite his delusions of grandeur, he at least seemed to love animals a healthy, non-obsessive amount.

“They’re living well,” Matsuda commented blandly.

Tanaka scoffed at him.

“For demons that live a mere 1095 days, the luxuries in life mean everything. I would never settle for less.”

“I see...” He scuffed the end of his shoe against the wooden floor. “That’s good.”

Shouldn’t have worn open-toed shoes, but I don’t have any alternatives. Oh, right.

“I got pumpkin seeds.” He tossed the bag and it landed on Tanaka’s lap. The hamsters jumped, and even Tanaka flinched. Matsuda, however, turned on his heel. “Sorry. Bye.”

With that insincere apology, he headed out. He could feel a disproving stare on his back but that didn’t lessen his steps in the slightest.

--

His favorite chicken-turned-cow was in a good mood today. She was accepting pets and even nipping at his fingers. All he had on him was candy. Not any fruit much less hay although...

“If you plan to feed that creature, you should be wary of apples,” Tanaka rumbled from behind. Where the fuck he came from, Matsuda wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t surprised to be hearing from him. “You can risk over-eating which will cause a bloated stomach for the animal.”

“Ah, thanks for the advice,” Matsuda said sincerely, turning back and frowning when he noticed the other’s own hanging head. “What’s with the long face?”

“I would hope that you do not consider that creature to be your familiar, Matsuda Yasuke,” Tanaka murmured sullenly and solemnly. Like he had come across something truly pitiful to the point of depressing.

Although he seems more focused on the cow itself...

“I don’t have a familiar,” Matsuda huffed.

Tanaka quirks an eyebrow at him. Furrows it, even, as if Matsuda is the one not making sense. How seriously annoying. But rather than inquire further, Tanaka just shakes his head.

“Creatures like that one are born to be slaughtered,” he said, turning on his heel. “What a wretched fate, one that cannot be escaped even with the use of the Evil All-Seeing Eye. If one is to form a bond with such an unfortunate beast, they will invite only calamity.”

“That’s...” Not necessarily true. There is livestock out there allowed to live full lives. But they’re exceptions that prove the rule, I suppose. And the fact that I even thought to use a word like allowed... “Woof.”

Tanaka barked back. “This sentimentality only arose because I have not encountered any new beasts. I shall go searching as to put my mind at ease.”

He walked on, and Matsuda found himself following. Tanaka didn’t seem to mind at all. The opposite, in fact.

“There are many creatures I’ve tamed, sharp-tongued one,” Tanaka went on to say. “The Cerberus. The Phoenix. Even then Midgardian Serpent.”

Looks like I was right on the money about him looking up Norse shit. That’s just another fucking word for Earth, asshole. I’ve read enough shitty fantasy manga to know.

“I saw a toucan one time,” he commented in lieu of verbalizing his thoughts. “And I guess there are the seagulls. Or those mascots.”

“Those uncute fiends cannot be trusted with their speech,” Tanaka hissed. “As for the others... Ah, the ravenous, feathered beasts.” Tanaka nodded sagely with approval at that one. “They are a perilous project as they are quite fearless and impulsive. Even when greater threats arise, they gather like a court waiting to hand down judgment.”

I think...that’s more something that crows do rather than seagulls.

He does think about it though, birds judging one another. If he looked up, he’d even see a seagull or two soar overhead. A phrase rose to his mind, unbidden.

When the seagulls cry...

“Hm?” Tanaka paused when he noticed that Matsuda had stopped dead in his tracks. He turned, and whatever expression was on Matsuda’s face—whatever that was had Tanaka clicking his tongue. “What is on your mind?”

“Something stupid,” he grumbled, shaking his head. “Even in peaceful times, I can’t help but worry about how easily things fall apart. Sometimes for something as petty as a broken promise.”

Is it speech alone that gives us the means of betraying one another?

Tanaka did stiffen.

“It sure is fortunate for us that we’ve yet to deal with any storms,” Matsuda went on to say. “In fact, it’s perfect weather every single day. Isn’t that strange? It almost doesn’t feel real, and if it’s not real... Does anything that happens here matter?” He paused again. “Like I said. It’s stupid.”

“Your inane ponderings still have an air of malice,” Tanaka muttered darkly.

Huh.

“Are you saying I’m someone to be on guard around?” He cracked a dry smile. “I’m not that fucking interested in messing with people. I just lack patience.”

Tanaka gave him a look. Wordlessly, he shook his head.

“I think... I will seek solace elsewhere. Do not follow me.”

Matsuda didn’t. Simply watched the other go. It might’ve been one of those annoying situations where the person was saying the exact opposite of what they wanted, but even if he could tell that was the case, he still wouldn’t have followed.

After all.

He lacked patience.

--

Tanaka seemed especially moody today. Although no matter how sullen his air was, the island sun wouldn’t let up in the slightest. In a way, that was pretty cruel, right? In that much light, it made it difficult to hide. Or something like that.

Wonder what he’s being so fucking temperamental about...

Matsuda makes his way over, waving as he does. He stops, however, when Tanaka regards him coldly.

“Matsuda Yasuke,” he rumbled in a gravelly tone of voice. “The sharp-tongued fool whose practices engage in the constitution of the mind... Would you like to duel?”

Huh?

Matsuda dropped his hand.

“...have you finally fucking gone actually insane?” He sighed. “Don’t answer that. No, I don’t want to duel. And if you push it, I’ll leave. I don’t have time for that bullshit.”

Tanaka’s cold stare became more of a glare.

“I’m afraid I do not have such luxury around you,” Tanaka said sharply. “You grind down my defenses with this continued, unsightly association. Despite wearing the face of a human, you, Matsuda Yasuke are...!”

“I’m just human,” Matsuda replied before he could finish. With an unimpressed shrug, he added. “And if you wanted me to stop bothering you, all you had to fucking do was say so.”

“I allowed these exchanges out of a sense of curiosity, arrogantly unheeding the danger,” Tanaka went on, muttering as he did. “Truly, I have been foolish.”

The sun shone down on him. On a day this bright, there wasn’t anyone to hide. Tanaka ‘Gundam’ looked a bit ill. When Matsuda took a step closer, however, he recoiled. With a sharp hiss, Tanaka held up his hand in warning.

Like an agitated cat.

Matsuda drew back with a sigh.

Someone like this—really is so needlessly fucking difficult. And for what? An inflated sense of importance? Wasn’t getting into Hope’s Peak enough?

...if he complained too much, he’d veer uncomfortably close to hypocrisy.

Hope’s Peak was just another step for me, but I wonder what it was for someone like this? Where the hell would he be if he didn’t get in? Honestly—I doubt it would’ve been all that significant.

“Alright,” he said. “Did you get anything out of our interactions at least?”

Tanaka stared at him, but being a normal fucking person without magical powers, Matsuda was more than capable of staring back, unaffected. For some reason, Tanaka did shy back a little.

“I have keenly observed you,” he said lowly. “Namely how your regard only shifts when directed towards creatures already marked for death. I suspect—you are a creature of calamity. The eye of the storm.”

“So, what,” Matsuda drawled. “Like a demon?”

Tanaka hummed, seemingly considering it. “No... That is not quite right.”

“I’m not sure what you mean, then,” Matsuda huffed, waving his hand dismissively. “But—I think I get what you’re saying. I just think it’s funny coming from you—and that you don’t understand.”

Tanaka’s stare blazed with an offense, and Matsuda paid no heed at all.

“How I regard creatures marked for death...” Matsuda snorted. “I’m a fucking doctor. Obviously, I treat them differently. It’s part of my fucking job.”

Although he’s referring to the cow, isn’t he? Seriously...

“I guess it’s weird,” he admitted. “With how shitty of an attitude I have. But I take my job seriously. If you can’t get something that simple, then your Evil All-Seeing Eye is pretty fucking lacking.”

“You...” Tanaka growled. “You’re truly impertinent. You wield your blade recklessly and foolishly. You and I both know—that it runs deeper than mere duty for you, Matsuda Yasuke.”

...so what if it does?

He supposes he should be impressed that Tanaka isn’t that fucking dense. That the animal freak is, in fact, a little perceptive.

Smiling mirthlessly, Matsuda reached out to pat the flinching other’s shoulder. He gripped him for just a moment.

“That’s all you need to know about me,” he murmured into Tanaka’s ear before pulling back. “I think we’re at enough of an understanding. Thanks for your time.” He gave a salute as he headed on his way. “We don’t need to talk again. We especially don’t need to duel. Have a wonderful fucking day.”

“One day,” Tanaka swore. “You will meet your cruel, disastrous end. That is the decree of the Tanaka Kingdom!” As Matsuda got further away, Tanaka boomed after him. “Mark my words, sharp-tongued FOOL! You are MARKED for des—!”

It was such a headache that Matsuda tuned him out. But as he found himself alone, he did wonder.

Marked for destruction? Or something else? Despite all that time, rather than growing close, that weirdo is now convinced that I’m hopeless. He might be right. Actually, I’d still consider us closer if he can recognize that. I still don’t really care. I don’t.

He walked on, moving forward because he had nowhere else to go.

Decree. What a fucking riot. If I do die, it won’t be because of an idiot like him. But whatever makes him feel better I suppose.

Matsuda shook his head, brushing the whole thing aside except...

If I die... It won’t be until I reach the very fucking pits. I won’t settle for anything less.

#sdr2 #yasuke matsuda #matsuda yasuke #gundham tanaka #gundam tanaka #Magi fics #Protag Matsun

[honey-dewey]

Little Leather Boots Snippets

Pairing: Shane ‘Dio’ Morrissey/Reader

Word Count: 1,743

Warnings: Hospitals, mentions of surgery and c-section, sappy Dio, happy tears. 

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell @star-wars-hell

Based off my previous Dio/Reader one shot, Little Leather Boots. An anon asked me if I could write more for this story, specifically Dio’s first moments with baby Athena in the NICU. I live to please, so here we are! Told from Dio’s perspective, these are the four months between Athena’s birth and her going home. 

-24 hours post Athena-

Life felt lopsided. That was the only way Dio could explain it. He’d been sitting here, by your side as you mostly slept, for 24 hours. The nurses had taken Athena to the NICU a few hours ago, and Dio had been tempted to follow. But one very sweet nurse reassured him that she’d be okay, and that he should stay with you. 

Dio sighed, trying to wrap his head around it all. He was a father. An actual father. Like, to a baby. A little girl, no less. He was euphoric. He was terrified. Athena was tiny, just barely bigger than his hand. She was so fragile, so breakable. And yet, one of the nurses had called her a fighter. A fighter. His tiny newborn, already fighting for her life. 

“Dio?” 

He looked up, seeing your eyes blink open. You were on general painkillers, but the epidural had worn off already. Dio had never had major surgery, but he had expected you to be weak after the birth. He carefully helped you sit up, wincing as you whined. “Does it hurt?” 

“Stupid question,” you pointed out, now sitting up properly. “I feel like I was run over by a bus.” 

Dio smiled, kissing your forehead. “You just had surgery,” he murmured. “I’m proud of you for being so strong.” 

You sighed, leaning back against the pillows. “How’s Athena?” 

“Nurses took her to the NICU,” Dio said. “Said she’s already a tiny little fighter, just like her mom.” 

He watched your eyes flutter again. You’d been up and down, mostly sleeping off the surgery. “Hey,” he said softly, squeezing your hand. “Stay with me babe, I haven’t told you the fun part yet.” 

“Fun part?” 

“My mom texted me,” Dio said, pulling out his phone. “Apparently, Athena looks just like me.” 

He showed you the tiny baby photos, and you laughed. “Aww, look at baby Dio.” 

Dio grinned, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “Get some rest babe. I’m gonna head home to sleep myself. You want anything from the apartment?” 

“Can you bring me Athena’s blanket?” You asked. “And one of your shirts.” 

Chuckling, Dio gave you one last fleeting kiss and nodded. “Of course. I’ll be back tomorrow morning.” 

-One week post Athena-

Dio put a steady arm around your middle, supporting you as you walked slowly through the hospital. You’d recovered well, and the surgery scar was thankfully no longer severely bruised. It still, obviously, hurt like hell, but you were walking with assistance and eating on your own, and it was finally time to visit your baby. 

The NICU doors opened thanks to a nurse Dio now knew was named Mack, and they smiled as they led you and Dio to Athena. 

“She’s doing really well,” they said, gesturing to Athena. “Getting stronger by the day.” 

Dio stared down into the incubator. Athena was still covered in wires, tubes, and patches, but she was absolutely gorgeous. “Can we touch her?” 

Mack shook their head. “She’s still too fragile,” they explained. “You can sing to her or talk to her, because she can hear you, but touching is still iffy. In a few weeks, once some of the tubes aren’t required, you can absolutely touch her.” 

Two chairs were pulled up, and you and Dio sat down. He pressed a hand to the incubator glass, smiling at Athena. “Hey honey. It’s your dad.” 

Athena didn’t respond, but Dio kept going. “I’ve got your momma here too. We’re so proud of you.” 

You looped your arm with Dio’s, resting your head on his shoulder. “Sing her that Elton John song you love,” you said in a tired murmur.

Dio nodded, scooting closer to the incubator and softly beginning to sing Crocodile Rock. He’d been singing it to you all week, and now, he sang it to his daughter. 

-one month post Athena-

To say Dio was excited to have you home was just a mild exaggeration. He was over the moon as you went home with him, Athena still in the NICU. The nurses, who Dio now knew all by name, assured him that they’d call with updates whenever they could. 

You hummed uncomfortably, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom as you headed in to brush your teeth. Dio sighed, looking up at you. “Need help?” 

“Just a headache,” you grumbled, hauling yourself onto the countertop in the bathroom and letting out a breath. “Long ass day.” 

Dio chuckled. “It was,” he agreed. “But you’re home now! And in a few months, so will Athena, and then our beautiful family will be complete.” As he finished, he kissed you, savoring in the feel of your lips on his. “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” you said softly, falling against the safety of Dio’s chest. “But no more babies, okay? One’s enough.” 

Dio smiled, resting his cheek on your head. “Y’know what? I agree.” 

-two months post Athena-

Dio’s heart pounded. Today was the day. The day he met his daughter. The day he held her. 

The NICU nurse on duty, Zenix, led them to Athena. They’d been visiting every few days, whenever they could, but this was different. No more excessive tubes and wires, no more nerves when Athena began showing signs of having jaundice, no more worrying she would take a turn for the worse. Everything would be okay now. 

“Ready?” Zenix asked, and Dio looked at him, almost shocked. 

“What?” 

Zenix grinned. “To hold her, are you ready?” 

Dio’s stomach flipped. She was still so tiny, so breakable. But he knew she was strong. She’s survived this far, she was a fighter. “Yeah.” 

As Zenix lifted Athena out of her bed, Dio took his jacket off, leaving him in the softest shirt he owned, an old Fleetwood Mac shirt. He’d abandoned any and all jewelry today, nervous that any little thing could hurt Athena. 

“Alright,” Zenix instructed, holding Athena out. “Here she comes.” 

Suddenly, Dio was holding Athena. It was such a quick change that he didn’t even have time to register it as Zenix placed her in his arms and began to slowly adjust him so he was holding her properly. 

Athena waved her arms, curling towards the source of heat that was Dio’s chest. He bent inwards, bowing his head to her and lifting her up a bit. Her eyes, which had remained stubbornly closed until now, cracked open, and Dio almost started to cry. She had his eyes. Big and deep and brown, she looked up at him and gurgled. 

“Babe,” you said, and Dio turned to you. You were holding your phone up, smiling. “Say cheese.” 

Dio grinned, angling Athena as best he could. She made a noise, spitting all over herself. 

“She’s hungry,” Zenix said, grabbing a bottle and filling it with formula. “Wanna feed her?” 

Dio looked at you, raising his eyebrows. “You wanna do it?” 

You shook your head. “You do it Dio. I can feed her tomorrow.” 

Zenix came back with a bottle, instructing Dio through feeding Athena. It was a messy process, during which Dio got various fluids on his shirt and you laughed when he chastised Athena for spitting up on him as if she could control it. 

“Nap time,” Dio sang lightly, laying Athena back in her bed and gratefully taking a wipe from Zenix to clean his shirt off. “Let’s see what the jukebox is playing tonight. Hmm, Crocodile Rock or Tiny Dancer?” 

Athena wiggled a bit, and Dio took that as an answer. “Crocodile Rock it is.” 

-two and a half months post Athena-

“Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer. Count the headlights on the highway,” Dio sang softly, sitting in a rocking chair, slowly singing Athena to sleep. She remained stubbornly awake, blinking up at him with those irresistible brown eyes. Was this how you felt whenever he gave you puppy eyes? All mushy inside? 

Athena gurgled, waving one chubby fist in the air, and Dio grinned. Adjusting her so she lay in one arm, he put his other hand across her belly, very gently. Athena blew a raspberry, moving her fist to lay on his hand and uncurling her fingers to wrap them securely around one of his. 

Yet again, Dio was moved to tears. Her hands were so small and his were so big, her tiny little fingers unable to fully wrap around his index finger. He gestured you close with his head. 

“What?” You asked, looking down and immediately Aww-ing. “Look at you!” She said to Athena, poking her nose. “Holding daddy’s hand!” 

Dio smiled. “If it’ll get her to sleep, she can hold my hand all night.” 

-four months post Athena-

Dio waved to the NICU nurses, almost regretful that this would be the last time they saw each other. They waved back, giving you, Dio, and Athena a proper goodbye. 

“Can I carry her into the apartment?” Dio asked eagerly, getting into the car and watching you strap Athena into her car seat. 

“Sure,” you said, getting into the car yourself. “I am taking the biggest nap when we get home.” 

Dio chuckled. “You do that. I’ve got Athena.” 

The drive home was fast, and before Dio knew it, he was carrying Athena into the apartment. Everyone was there, your parents, his mom, Raven. They all cheered as he came through the door, his sleeping daughter in his arms. 

For hours, everyone talked, sitting in the living room. Athena was passed around, and kissed, but ended up back in Dio’s arms in the end. 

“She’s gonna be a total daddy’s girl,” Dio’s mother said. “Sorry hon, but that’s Shane’s baby.” 

“I know,” you said with a grin. “He’s gonna be a great dad.” 

That night, Dio gave Athena a sleepy apartment tour while you brushed your teeth.

“And this is your room,” Dio said, nudging open the nursery door. “Isn’t it pretty?” 

Athena didn’t respond, asleep in Dio’s arms. 

“Hey, don’t tell your momma, but there’s a ring in my pocket for her,” Dio admitted. “Figured now that you were home, we should make it official.” 

Again, Athena remained silent.  

“Yeah, I agree,” Dio said, sitting in the rocking chair and sighing, a deep joy settling over his bones. “I’m happy she’s here too.” 

He bent down, kissing Athena’s forehead and feeling her take a breath. “I love you. More than the moon and the sun and every star in the sky. I love you.”

#nypd blue #shane 'dio' morrissey #dio morrissey #dio morrissey x reader #dio morrissey x you #Pedro Pascal #My writing

[livia-dovehallow]

shooting stars - gabriel lightwood & cecily herondale

A Gabrily Valentine’s Day! Set in a Modern AU. Read on AO3

Cecily had forced herself to remain cool and collected. 

She shouldn’t be surprised that Gabriel, whom she’d been dating for a few months now, had asked her to join him at the football team’s starlight picnic on Valentine’s Day. There was to be a meteor shower that night; a very unique and romantic night for valentine’s indeed. She may or may not have totally enjoyed arriving to campus the week before to find Gabriel waiting by her first class with a small bouquet of flowers and her morning coffee and asked her to be his valentine. And she may or may not have smiled like an idiot for the rest of the day.

But she most definitely found herself now struggling to keep her racing heart under control. She’d never had a valentine before. Will had always scared off the admirers she had when they were children, much to her annoyance. It was only when she finally became an adult, and joined him at university, that she made it a point to blatantly ignore his protests whenever she went on a date. Not that any of those dates mattered until Gabriel Lightwood came along.

“You don’t have to go, you know,” said Will across from her at the dining room table. She sighed inwardly. If only she hadn’t been forced to live with her brother at university. Her life would be so much simpler. “You can watch the shower with us instead. Much more enjoyable.”

Cecily gave her brother an annoyed look. “Why would I voluntarily subject myself to hanging out with the three of you on Valentine’s Day when I have a perfectly good boyfriend who has asked me to spend it with him?”

Will grumbled over his dinner. “I wouldn’t describe him as ‘perfectly good’—“

“Will,” Tessa sighed, holding her head as if his voice had given her a massive headache. Cecily was sure it had. “Leave her alone. Gabriel is a perfectly nice boy who is taking her to a school event. I hardly think this is grounds for you to be ridiculous.”

“Everything is grounds for me to be ridiculous,” countered Will. 

“Save yourself,” added Jem, looking at Cecily. “Get out while you can.”

There was a knock on the door. Cecily shot out of her seat and grabbed her bag. “I will do just that, Jem,” she said and gave a cheeky grin to her brother, who squinted his eyes at her over his fork. “Don’t wait up for me!” .

For the thousandth time that night, Gabriel made sure his hair was neat, there nothing in his teeth, and his clothes were acceptable. 

He’d never had a valentine before, but he was excited for Cecily to be his. He was excited that she was his girlfriend at all. He was sure he had destroyed all his chances with his poorly developed flirting ability.

He blamed Gideon.

The door opened and Cecily stood in the light of the doorway. Gabriel’s breath went out of him. She was always incredibly beautiful, but it was obvious she had spent extra time on her look that evening. She smiled brightly at him. “Shall we go?”

Gabriel blinked himself back into the mortal plane. “We shall,” he answered, returning her smile. He held out his arm to her, like a proper gentleman. “You look particularly beautiful today,” he said. He had absolutely no idea where it came from.

Cecily closed the door behind her, effectively cutting off her brother in mid shout. Something about having her home early. “Do I not look particularly beautiful everyday?” she asked, a tease in her voice. 

“I should just never speak again, shouldn’t I?”

“I rather enjoy it.” .

The field was spotted with blankets and couples, flowers and chocolates, and quite a few bottles of cheap champagne. Gabriel had ordered Cecily’s favorite dish from the best restaurant in town and carefully tucked it away in the picnic basket Sophie lent him. He swore that his soon-to-be sister-in-law was much more help in the relationship department than his brother was. 

He’d also gotten her a box of her favorite chocolates from a small shop in town, owned by the Branwells, who’d always smiled knowingly at him since the first time Cecily dragged him in, gushing about the treats. He’d become a regular patron after that. 

Gabriel lifted everything out of the picnic basket and glanced up to find Cecily holding out a box wrapped neatly with a perfectly tied bow. He blinked at her several times until she laughed. “Well, are you going to open it or stare at me until my arms get tired?”

“You got me something?” he asked in awe. Cecily only laughed again.

“Of course I did. I am not a freeloading girlfriend, you know.”

Gabriel smiled brightly and took the box from her, eagerly opening it as if he was a child at Christmas. He froze once he realized what it was. “Cecily, you didn’t.”

She grinned. “Oh yes, I did.”

Gabriel lifted the brand new cleats out of the box, perfectly sized and exactly the ones he’d had his eye on for weeks. He’d never even mentioned to Cecily that he’d wanted to get a new pair, let alone this exact one. He gaped at her, his eyes flickering between her and the shoes. “How—“

“I am a fantastic girlfriend,” she stated, her eyes shining. “That is how.”

“Fantastic is an understatement!” He threw the box aside and immediately kicked his sneakers off to try on the cleats. He could hear Cecily laughing beside him as he hurried to tie the laces. “This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

Cecily playfully shoved his arm. “Are you saying you didn’t like my Christmas present?”

Gabriel turned to her with a shy smile. “I was too nervous to tell you that I don’t like seafood.”

“Gabriel!” Cecily gasped. “Then why did you eat that whole plate?”

“Because you bought it for me.”

Cecily dropped her shoulders and smiled at him. “You’re sweet.”

Heat filled Gabriel’s face but the stupid grin on his face remained. “Now I feel silly with what I got you.”

Cecily looked down at the picnic, with their plates and chocolates and flowers neatly arranged. She looked back up at him. “If this is silly, then please, keep being silly.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, making the heat in his face grow warmer. “It’s romantic that you remembered my favorites and brought me to a starlight picnic to watch a meteor shower.”

Until he met Cecily, no one had ever called him a romantic before. He quite liked it, actually. And he found that he didn’t care if everyone else knew about it, too.  .

“Look at this!” Will exclaimed, shoving his phone at Tessa and Jem. “I don’t want to see this!”

Tessa rolled her eyes. On his screen was his Instagram feed, of which the most recent post was from Cecily, smiling brightly at the camera while Gabriel kissed her forehead, captioned simply with a heart emoji. She thought it was rather sweet.

Jem had another idea. He turned his own phone toward Will, showing Gabriel’s post. It was of Cecily, surrounded by dinner, chocolates, and flowers, the same bright smile on her face as if she had been in mid laugh. It was a rather good picture of Cecily, indeed. Will scowled.

“This—This is why I don’t follow him!”

“’Isn’t she lovely,’” Jem quoted from the caption. Tessa awed.

“That’s so sweet!” She exclaimed. 

Will’s scowl deepened. “I don’t want to see that either.”

“What?” Jem teased. “You don’t think your sister is lovely?”

Will huffed. “Of course she is,” he said. “That doesn’t mean I want to see him saying it. I may vomit.”

.

A dull roar of chatter settled across the football field. Cecily, after happily consuming every last drop of her plate and chocolates, made herself comfortable in Gabriel’s arms. She liked the feeling; his arms were long and well-muscled, engulfing her relatively small body in warmth and comfort. She was a strong, independent lady, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t allowed to enjoy a bit of cuddling.

She thought about how jealous she’d been of Will for the longest time, having not one but two people he could be with. They were kind to her, of course, but it was not the same as having someone like them for herself. She’d always been a romantic. 

It was only an added bonus that being with Gabriel made Will short circuit.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Cecily asked suddenly after a long but comforting silence.

Gabriel paused. “Do you?”

“Yes.” He lifted her head gently and slid his arm and a pillow underneath it before laying it back down. “Soulmates need not always be romantic. They can be platonic as well. Some people are lucky enough to find both in their lives. But I think the luckiest ones are the ones who find both in the same person.”

She bit her lip. She was definitely being obvious about her thoughts, but she hoped it wasn’t too forward. Gabriel brushed his thumb against her arm, which was reassuring. “I’ve never thought about it that way,” he answered. “Platonic soulmates, I mean. It makes sense, though. What made you believe?”

Cecily smiled gently toward the stars. “My parents. I’ve always believed in soulmates because of them.” A star shot across the sky, growing closer to the impending shower. “I don’t think anyone else on earth could have been better suited for them than each other.”

Gabriel’s chest rose and fell beneath her shoulder, his arm warm around her. “I admire your parents,” he said, vibrating her body with this voice; and not just because she was laying partially on top of him. “I guess I didn’t think I believed in soulmates until I met you.”

Cecily’s breath hitched in her throat. Of course she had wanted him to say that, but she didn’t expect that he would. “You’re only saying that,” she whispered. 

“Am not,” he retorted. She could hear the smile in his voice. Cecily bit her lip again. A nervous habit. “So many things have changed in my life in the past year that have entirely changed my outlook on the world. It wasn’t easy to learn that my father had cheated on my mom before she died and still be open enough to believe in soulmates. But you…” His arm tightened around her. “I met you. And Gideon proposed to Sophie. And I met your parents.”

“Gideon is quite lucky to have Sophie,” said Cecily. “Sophie is a very lovely person.”

“I know,” Gabriel laughed. “That bastard better not screw it up.”

Cecily smiled and moved closer to him, pressing her body as close to him as she could get while they lay on their backs looking up at the sky. Gabriel shifted beneath her to pull her pillow closer. “Are you cold?” he asked her.

“Ella, Will, and I used to lay out in the fields in Wales and watch the stars at night,” Cecily whispered instead of answering him. Gabriel fell silent, but she knew very well he was listening. “We lived so far out in the country that the city lights never blocked out the stars. It was my favorite time; just the three of us.” A tear streaked down Cecily’s cheek involuntarily. “I haven’t watched the stars since she died.”

“Cecy—“

“I am glad to watch them again,” she continued. She felt around the blanket until she found his hand and squeezed it tight. “With you.”

“She must have been an incredible person. You and your family only ever speak highly of her.”

Cecily nodded. “She was definitely much less of a pain in the ass than Will was.” She imagined her brother now, laying on the roof of their apartment building with Tessa and Jem, watching the same stars she was; both of them sharing the same memory of Ella. “No one will ever replace Ella for me, but I must admit it was nice to meet Tessa when Will first brought her home. She was kind to me. She even helped me prank Will the first holiday she was with us and helped me clean my bathroom when my period came early.” Gabriel’s hands engulfed hers and slowly played with her fingers as she spoke, calming her. “She knew that Will and I were close and made an effort to get to know me; I had forgotten what it felt like to have a sister. I am grateful to Tessa.”

“It seems that even Will is capable of making good decisions on occasion,” Gabriel commented, making Cecily laugh. He shifted again beneath her and suddenly Cecily was engulfed in a large blanket. She craned her neck upward to look at Gabriel, who was only smiling and rolling her into the blanket.

“Are you trying to make me into a burrito?” Cecily asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“Of course not,” he answered, bringing his arms about her once more. “Obviously you are a taquito.”

Cecily called him a not-so-romantic name in Welsh, but her heart was happy. She did feel much warmer under the blanket with her head on his shoulder. She felt at peace. “I understand how you feel, though,” he added after a moment. “Granted, Tatiana is younger, but we were never truly close. And I lost my mother so young, I didn’t understand what having genuine affection was like. I thought all fathers were like mine. I only ever had him and Gideon show me how to be. Gideon was not the same person he is now before he studied abroad.”

“He changed,” Cecily whispered, digging her arm out from beneath the blankets to lay her hand over his heart. “As did you. There isn’t anything wrong with that.”

Gabriel looked down at her; his eyes, his green, green eyes making her heart skip a beat. “Spain and Sophie helped Gideon feel comfortable being his actual self. For me, it was Gideon and you.”

“I like this Gabriel,” she whispered, her eyes flickering between his eyes and his lips. “You’re happier. I like that.”

Gabriel inhaled deeply, his eyes never leaving hers. “I love you,” he breathed. 

Cecily’s heart raced, her eyes widening. She’d imagined him saying those words to her in the privacy and comfort of her own mind. She’d known, perhaps all along, that she loved him. He made her feel special, beautiful, and strong. He never once made her feel inferior or small—his jokes about her height excluded. Being with him made the rough seas of her life calm. She was happy. She loved him. 

And he just told her he loved her.

He had begun to grow nervous at her silence, clearing his throat in attempt to clear the tension. Tell him you love him, idiot! Cecily screamed at herself, but her throat had closed, thick with emotion. She did what she needed to do. She pulled his head down to her and kissed him.

There was no hesitation from him in his response. He kissed her back, his hands pressed gently against her back, holding her to him. Cecily hadn’t even noticed she was crying until their kiss began to taste salty and Gabriel pulled away, his forehead still pressed against hers. “Cecy?” he asked, worried. “I’m—“

“I love you,” she said, cutting him off before he could apologize to her for doing nothing wrong. He stared at her. “I love you, too.”

A brilliant smile grew across his face, erasing his anxious expression. He released a long breath and laughed. “Oh, god, I thought I had scared you off. It came out of me, I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you for so long—“

Cecily shook her head. “Do stop apologizing for telling me you love me,” she teased. “I’ll start to believe you regret it.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened, the panic back. “No!” he said quickly. “No, I don’t regret it! Not one bit. I do love you. I love you. A lot, actually.”

She buried her face against his neck and ran her fingers through his ever-tousled hair. “Then don’t let me go,” she whispered. His grip tightened.

“I don’t plan on it,” he said. 

A wave of awes and cheers rose from the crowd around them on the field. The meteor shower had begun, lighting up the sky. Cecily kept her eyes locked with Gabriel’s. He smiled at her. “I do hope this means your sister approves of me.”

Cecily laughed, the pain of missing Ella and the joy that she had Gabriel in her life to share her thoughts. She turned to look at the stars. “You know, I think she just might.”

.

The porch light was bright when Gabriel walked Cecily to the door of her and Will’s apartment. She was draped in his jacket, despite her protests. “You’re smaller. Less mass. You get colder than I do,” had been Gabriel’s response. She was stubborn, but he could be too. Even now he was refusing to take it back. Secretly, Cecily was glad.

“I had fun,” she told him, smiling happily. “This was a very nice Valentine’s Day.”

Gabriel looked relieved. “I had fun, too.” He hesitated then, which told Cecily exactly what he wanted to do.

“Kiss me,” she said, not as a request but a stern demand. Gabriel’s smile morphed into a small laugh.

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded and dipped low. The moment his lips met hers, the porch light began flickering.

Cecily ignored it but Gabriel pulled back, amused. “I wager we have peeping Toms.”

“More like a single peeping Will,” she muttered. She lifted her hand toward the door and flipped off her brother. “I suppose I should see you off now, before Will comes out here with empty threats.”

Gabriel laughed. “All right,” he said. “I’ll leave when you’re inside.”

“The door is two feet away.”

“It will make me feel better,” he answered assuredly. “Please indulge my masculinity.”

Cecily would never admit it, but her heart fluttered. She knew Gabriel didn’t care much for keeping masculine appearances anymore, but it set butterflies in her stomach to know he wanted to make sure she was truly home before leaving. Her father would like that.

“All right,” she agreed. She pressed her key into the lock and turned it, but paused before opening the door. She glanced over her shoulder at him. “Goodnight,” she said. “Do tell me when you’re home.”

His eyes brightened. “I will,” he said. “Goodnight, Cecy.”

The door swung open and Cecily yelped. She was yanked in the doorway before she could swear. “Take care then!” her brother called before shutting the door. Cecily twisted her arm out of his grip before unleashing a sea of curses and swears at him, a mix of English and Welsh, all angry and annoyed. 

“Can I not have my own life, Will?” she shouted. “You parade Tessa and Jem around here as if they live here but I can’t even wish Gabriel a goodnight on the porch without you ruining it?” She turned to Tessa and Jem, who remained seated at the kitchen table. “No offense.”

“None taken,” they both replied, lifting their mugs to their lips.

She turned back to Will, who looked a bit surprised. “Mam and Dad like Gabriel, and Ella would have, too. What is your problem? Gabriel has tried to make amends with you and treats me well. Better than well, actually. Not once has he ever made me feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Quite the opposite actually. You’re lucky Mam and Dad help us pay rent because otherwise I would have never moved in with you.”

At that, she threw her keys onto the counter and marched to her bedroom. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of slamming her door, so instead she left it wide open. 

.

Fifteen minutes later, she received her text from Gabriel assuring her he was home, safe and sound, being interrogated by his brother and Sophie. She smiled at her phone. She thought about telling him about her blow up at Will when a soft knock sounded at the door. She glanced up to see Tessa standing there, holding her mug, smiling gently. “May I come in?”

Cecily nodded, shooting Gabriel a quick I love you before tossing her phone to the side. She hoped she’d wake to a similar message in the morning.

Tessa came and sat beside her on the bed. “I’m sorry about Will,” she started. “We tried to convince him to to go bed earlier but he refused.”

“Thanks for trying,” Cecily grumbled, kicking her blanket with her feet.

Tessa set down her mug and turned to face Cecily. “I am not Will,” she said happily. “And I, for one, would love to hear how the picnic went. Did you enjoy it?”

Cecily turned to her and released the tension in her muscles. Tessa really was like a sister. “I did,” she said, a smile growing. “It was everything I’d hoped it would be.”

Tessa’s eyes widened. “I see that smile,” she said, bouncing. “Tell me, Cecily, or I swear I will force it out of you!”

“Shh!” Cecily hissed, glancing at the doorway. “The last thing I need or want is my brother barging in here demanding to know as well.”

Tessa nodded, but her smile and eyes were eager. “Tell me.”

Cecily bit her lip, supressing an idiot smile. “He told me he loves me.”

Tessa grabbed a pillow and began smacking Cecily with it, whispering-screaming in excitement. “Cecy!” Whack. “I’m so—“ Whack. “—happy for you!”

“Wait,” Cecily said, and Tessa paused, holding the pillow in mid-whack. “There’s more. I told him I love him, too.”

WHACK.

.

Gabriel waltzed through the front door feeling on top of the world. The moment the door shut, Gideon and Sophie’s heads popped up over the sofa. “How did it go?” Sophie asked eagerly.

“Did you tell her?” Gideon added.

Gabriel grinned. “Yes, I told her. And she said it back.”

Sophie screamed and jumped over the couch, crushing Gabriel in a hug. “Look at you! A new man in love!”

Gideon smiled at him, amused. “Proud of you,” he said. “Didn’t think you had the guts to actually do it.”

“Thank you for your faith in me, brother,” Gabriel answered. “At least Sophie believed in me.”

Sophie let go of him and nodded, smiling happily at him. She’d always been quite supportive of him ever since he apologized to her for being an ass for so long. “Well, I knew that you would tell her intentionally or not. The two of you are much alike.”

Gabriel and Gideon both protested this statement. Then, Gabriel remembered. “Shit,” he said under his breath, digging his phone out. “I promised her I’d tell her when I got home.”

Gideon pointed at him accusingly. “You’re whipped!”

“And you’re engaged,” Gabriel retorted, retreating to his bedroom, his eyes glued to the screen, typing his message to Cecily.

Ding.

I love you, she replied. 

Gabriel immediately updated his phone screen to the new photo of her he’d taken that night and stared at it before writing out his response.

Gideon told me I’m whipped. He isn’t wrong. Goodnight, Cecy. I love you.

I take requests! Shoot me a message and I’ll be happy to indulge.

@tsccreatorsnet || Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future fic posts.

#gabriel lightwood #cecily herondale #gabrily #the infernal devices #tsc #tid #clockwork princess #modern au #gabriel and cecily #will herondale #tessa gray #jem carstairs #gideon lightwood #sophie collins #cecily lightwood #shadowhunters #gabriel and cecily lightwood #maggie writes

[robinrunsfiction]

Style

Pairing: Frank Iero x Female Reader Rating: Teen Requested By: None Word Count: ~3,900 Author’s Note: This is the first in a series of stories inspired by songs by Taylor Swift, this one of course being Style from the album 1989. I had intended on holding on to the series until I had all of them done, but I’m struggling to write... anything lately so I’m posting the two that I do have done. Full honesty, this story is one I originally wrote about two years ago for a different fandom and then modified for this challenge. I hope you enjoy.

The vibrating of her phone on the nightstand next to her woke her from her light sleep. She rolled over, bleary eyed, and checked the screen.

From: Frank Iero Message: hey

"Oh for fucks sake" she muttered to herself. She glanced at the clock, just before midnight, no surprise there. 'What's up?' She texted back. She set her phone down and rolled back over, willing it to stay silent.

Until it vibrated again.

'So you are up…' he replied

'Because you woke me up' she replied.

'Anyway, wanna come over?'

'Where's your girl tonight?'

They had an arrangement. They would only contact each other if they knew the other wasn't seeing anyone and they'd hook up, no strings attached. It had been working out pretty well for a few years now. They were each occasionally with a significant other for a while, him more usually than her, but nothing long term, so they weren't ever out of their routine for too long.

'She's gone' he replied.

'At the very least you come to my place' she replied back.

'Already on my way'

(YN) dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom to check her reflection in the mirror before curling up on the couch and waiting for the doorbell to ring. About 20 minutes later, she had almost fallen back to sleep, when there was a knock. Trudging to the door, she opened to find that familiar face.

"Hey" she said, letting him in.

"Hey, glad you were up," he said with a smirk as he took off his coat and tossed it on the couch where she had just been sitting.

"I wasn't, remember?"

"But you are now," he said, taking a step toward her, putting his hands on her hips.

"Lucky you," she replied as she slipped from his grasp leading the way to her bedroom. Frank had hardly taken a step when she pulled off her tank top and flinging over her shoulder at him. 

It always amazed (YN) that no matter how long they may have been apart, they were always able to pick right up. She could remember exactly what to do to drive him wild, he remembered all the spots that she loved him to kiss and touch. 

When they both finished and were both lying back, catching their breath, he looked over at her and chuckled.

"What?" She asked with a laugh as well.

"I dunno" he muttered.

"So what happened with your girl?" She asked after a few moments of silence.

"Nice pillow talk, (YN)."

"Oh come on, you know how I am" she said rolling over onto her elbow to look at him.

"Nosey?"

“I was gonna say kind of a bitch, but I suppose that’s true too,” she said with a shrug and he laughed.

"She said I wasn't giving her the attention she deserved, so she found someone who could."

"So she starts dating a touring musician,  someone who everyone knows is busy as hell, and bails when he's busy as hell? What a bitch."

"Eh, it was fun while it lasted."

(YN) rolled her eyes. "If you say so."

"What have you been up to?" He asked.

"Ya know, the usual" she said with a shrug.

"Been seeing anyone?"

"Why?"

"Making conversation."

"Nah. Been on a few dates, but nothing worth the effort." She said rolling on to her back again. He then rolled onto his side and looked at her.

"What?" She asked again, with a sideways glance.

"Admit it, you missed me."

"Ugh, you are the worst."

"You know you did."

"I missed... parts of you" with that same sly grin from before.

"Well, let's get reacquainted again."

~

The next morning (YN) woke up with the sun streaming in around the blinds. She was glad she had the day off because Frank had kept her up late. She looked over at where he slept beside her, back turned to her and she couldn't help but smile fondly at his tattooed back. She pulled herself out of bed and slipped into the shower.

Frank woke up and didn't find (YN) next to him, but soon realized he heard the shower running. Even when he was with his ex, he missed coming over to (YN)'s place, or when she would stop by his house unannounced. They were friends first and foremost, but the physical chemistry between them was undeniable. Their agreement had been working so well for so long that he didn't dare say what he had been feeling for a while now.

He heard the shower shut off and a minute later she came back into her room with her plush towel wrapped around herself.

"Oh you're up" she smiled. She thought maybe he would have slipped out by the time she got out of the shower.

"Yea I just woke up. You gotta work today?"

"No, today's my day off. You?"

"We got a meeting this afternoon."

"Sucks to suck" she said with a grin, pulling on underwear from her drawer.

He laughed lightly as he got up from the bed and got dressed. She glanced over at him while pulling on her shirt. It looked like there was something on his mind, but she didn't know if she should pry. "Wanna get brunch? Your treat?" She asked with a grin.

"Sure," he replied with a laugh.

They headed to a diner down the street and ordered their meals and caught up a bit more since it had been a while since they had been face to face.

"I have to go to this bachelorette party for my coworker tomorrow after working all day." (YN) said, rolling her eyes. She was a hair stylist and knew she had a busy Saturday booked. After being on her feet for hours, she knew she'd rather just crash in bed than go out.

"If you don't wanna go, don't go."

"No, I'm gonna go, I don't just bail, but I am gonna hate it the whole time. I'll just have to get a good night of sleep tonight." She said, narrowing her eyes at her friend across the table.

Frank shrugged and put his hands up defensively. "You coulda told me not to come over."

"Oh, you and I both know that wasn't gonna happen."

"Again, you missed me."

"Stop projecting your feelings on to me" she said hitting his arm from across the table and he laughed.

"Anyway, I gotta get home and shower, let's get outta here."

Frank paid for their meals, and they walked back down to her building.

“Good to see you again, (YN),” he said as he turned toward his car.

“Welcome back to the land of living Mr. Iero,” she replied as she let herself into her building.

~

The next morning (YN) woke up without any text messages interrupting her sleep. She got out of bed, showered and got ready for her day. She had a full schedule that included two of her more difficult clients in the afternoon.

Thankfully the day went quickly, but by the time her last client was done she had a splitting headache. She knew if she wanted to leave Jenny wouldn’t hold it against her, but Susie who organized the bachelorette party for Jenny would never let her forget it. As she cleaned up her station, she heard champagne bottles popping in the back room and decided she could at least go to dinner if it involved champagne.

After pre-gaming in the back of the salon, the group headed out to dinner and (YN) found her patience growing thinner, and the drinks she was consuming weren’t helping. There were multiple conversations happening, but she found herself sitting back, wishing she was anywhere else at that moment.

 “(YN), you’re single, what’s up with that? You’re so pretty and feisty, I can’t believe you can’t find a guy who can put up with that!” One of her coworkers asked. She opened her mouth to reply to the back handed compliment, when Susie jumped in.

“I heard she’s got a friend with benefits!”

“Well yes Susie, you’re right! Because I don’t see the point in being in a relationship. I can get laid without all the unnecessary bullshit that goes along with it! Win-win!” She said taking a smug sip of her drink, relishing in the dumbfounded looks and glares being shot at her from her coworkers who were celebrating the idea of long-term commitment and romantic love.

She finished her dinner and glanced at the time on her phone, it wasn’t very late, but waved down the waiter and paid her check. As she left, she gave Jenny a hug and whispered an apology into her ear for her bitchy comment earlier.

“Don’t worry, I understand” Jenny replied with a smile.

(YN)'s uber was outside when she exited the restaurant. She gave the driver the address and rested her head against the cool window.

If she was to be honest with herself, she wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of a relationship, but she was really satisfied with where her life was, especially now that Frank was coming around again. He really was the best sex she had ever had, probably because they had been in each other’s lives for so long.

When she arrived at her destination, she breathed a sigh of relief that the lights in the living room were on and no other cars were around.

“I knew you’d turn up sooner or later, but I didn’t think it would be this soon” Frank said with a smirk when he opened the door.

“Are you gonna chastise me, or are you gonna invite me in?” She asked, rolling her eyes. He stood back and opened the door for her and she came in. The place looked the same as always, kind of cluttered with guitars and horror movie memorabilia all over the place.

“How was your party?”

“It was ok. I like my coworkers at work, much more than that, I’ll pass. They get real catty when they start drinking," she said flopping down on the couch. "I see you have a real exciting evening going on here.”

“Well it’s a good thing you came along to save me from it” he said sitting down next to her, putting his hand on her thigh.

“What can I say, it’s my super power,” she said, turning her body into his, putting her hand on his chest. He leaned in and they started making out. He ran his hand further up her thigh over her tight jeans, the other hand on her back pulling her closer to him. She ran her nails up the back of his neck, raking over his scalp sending goosebumps up and down his body.

He leaned back pulling her onto his lap, and she took the opportunity to pull her top off. He pulled her back down to kiss him, hand roaming over her back, easily undoing her bra and tossing it aside, as she ground her hips into his with an increasing urgency. He sat up and she pulled his shirt off and then raked her nails over his tattooed chest.

Moans and muttered curses filled the room until they both came. She fell forward onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. She was surprised at first by the affection of the action, but didn’t care because it did feel nice to be held like that. They stayed like that for a few minutes before she pulled back.

“I guess I should get goin' then” she said reaching down to gather her clothes from the floor.

“Why?” He asked. “I mean, we haven’t hung out in a while, just stay.”

She considered the offer. He had a point, they used to hang out much more. And it wasn’t like she had anything to do that night.

“Ok sure, but I’m still putting on some of my clothes," she retorted.

“You want something to drink?” He asked, getting up after pulling his sweatpants back on and wandering into the kitchen.

“Yea, I’ll take a beer” she said following him into the kitchen in just her bra and panties.

“That’s a good look,” he said, handing her a beer.

“Thanks, I was thinking this bra wasn’t getting enough appreciation for the hard work it does.”

“Well I for one would like to salute it. It truly is doing God’s work.” He replied with a wink.

They went back to the couch and sat on opposite sides while he picked a movie on Netflix. As the movie played, they talked about the party she had been at and some new songs he was working on. As the evening wore on, (YN) could feel herself getting sleepier from her long day. She felt her head getting heavy as she slowly leaned toward Frank.

She woke up the next morning still on the couch, her head was on this chest and his arms were wrapped around her. She didn't move, not sure of how to react to the position she was in.

They had been friends for a long time before that one night when they were at a party and someone suggested Seven Minutes in Heaven. (YN) had been a little worried, but also quite exhilarated when she realized her partner was Frank. They had both been liquored up enough to throw caution to the wind the second the door to the closet shut behind them.

Their lips crashed together, hands in hair and all over each other. The seven minutes passed too quickly, so when the attention of the party was off them and their disheveled state, they snuck off to another room to finish what they had started.

At that point in their lives, (YN) had just gotten out of a shitty relationship and had no interest in getting into anything else serious anytime soon, and Frank was fine with just having fun. She and Frank’s chemistry led them to hooking up a few more times before they officially agreed to do the friends with benefits thing. Over time she warmed back up to the idea of being in a relationship, but she didn’t actively pursue anything because she didn’t want to miss the opportunity to be with Frank. She always had felt jealous when he let her know he was seeing someone, but she was terrified of ruining things with him, so she never let on to how she felt.

Now as she woke up with his arms around her like that, it felt quite intimate, bordering on relationship-y behavior. Even if she did decide to risk it all with Frank, now wouldn't be the time as she'd just be a rebound, so in that moment she decided she just needed to back off for a minute and let things even out a little, and get back to normal.

"Hey," he murmured, waking up.

"Hey" she replied, pulling herself up from his arms.

"You want some coffee?" He asked sitting up and shuffling off to the kitchen.

"Yea sure" she said following behind him, sitting on a barstool at the counter as she watched him make the coffee.

"What are you doing today?" She asked. That voice in the back of her head nagged for even asking the question. They weren't a couple, they didn't just hang out every day they were free, why even bring up the topic?

"I'm gonna go down to record a few of those demos I was telling you about last night" he replied, pulling out a couple mugs. "But you wanna hang out later?"

"Nah" She replied, shaking her head. A concerned look crossed his face. He wondered what he had done as he handed her the mug.

"You got something better to do?"

"Frank, I'm gonna be straight with you, I'm not looking to be a rebound, you know that. That’s not what I signed up for.”

"I'm not trying to use you as a rebound! I just thought you’d want to hang out since it’s been a while. I don't want anything to change what’s going on with us," he lied. 

It wasn't completely a lie, he didn't want her to be a rebound, but he did want things to change between them, he wanted them to be more. He did want a relationship with (YN), that's why he never put effort into his other relationships, because they never were with her. But he didn't want to drive her away, so he kept being friends with benefits, so at least he could be with her in some way.

She considered what he was telling her, not completely believing him. "Mmk," she replied, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Can I at least give you a ride back to your place?”

“You're such a gentleman," she smirked. "But I’d appreciate it.”

~

Over the next few weeks, (YN) and Frank settled back into their usual routine for when they were both single. They would text regularly, stop by each other’s place to hook up at least once a week, and sometimes hang out if a group was getting together.

Once things had normalized between them, she started to stop worrying so much about whether Frank was using her as a rebound. She did notice though that he still was being more physically affectionate than he used to be, putting his arm casually around the back of her chair when they were sitting next to each other, holding her for a little longer after hooking up, she'd wake up sleeping against him. She realized that maybe she was keeping up the affection just as much as he was, but that didn't change the fact that she just didn't think they should be pursuing a relationship.

On a quiet Tuesday in the salon, Jenny and (YN) were the only two working and chatting about life between clients.

"(YN) , don't take this the wrong way, but I have to ask. Are you still just hooking up with your friend?" Jenny asked

"Yea, but it's good, it's fine! It's what we want to do, ya know? Like for a while I was worried that he was catching feelings, and sometimes I get jealous, but we're just having fun and we're good."

"Yea, but have you talked about it recently? Like you said it seemed like he was getting attached."

"We did talk about it, and he said he wasn't trying to rebound and I believe him, and things went back to normal."

"And what about your jealousy?"

"Damn Dr. Phil!" (YN) retorted. She was surprised at the intense line of questioning coming from her friend. She was even more surprised at the knowing smirk that was on Jenny's face. "What?!" She snapped.

"There's nothing wrong with being vulnerable! Let him crack that hard shell you have around you, I'm sure you have a soft, gooey center in there somewhere!"

"He's found my soft center plenty of times, he's very good at that actually." (YN) said with a wink, getting up to prepare her work station for her next client.

"(YN), ew! But just think about it. What honestly could be the worst that would happen?" Jenny called after her.

"I could lose him and everything we have," she muttered under her breath.

~

(YN) was crammed in a booth with Frank, Mikey, Gerard, Ray and a few others at the afterparty celebrating another sold out show. It had been a long night of partying, but (YN) was having a lot of fun since it had been a long time since she got to hang out with the whole band. She did notice that Frank had kept his arm around her shoulder for most of the night, but she decided to let it slide.

Eventually the group started to get pulled away into different conversations until (YN), Frank and Ray were the only ones left in the booth.

"Ray, that girl over at the bar has been tryna to eye fuck you for a while now. Are you gonna do something about it?" (YN) asked, as she drew their attention to the girl at the bar.

"I see that," he said, taking the last swig of his drink and sliding out of the booth. (YN) and Frank both laughed as he made his way over to her.

"What do you think his chances are?" She asked, taking a drink.

"Eh, probably pretty good, she does seem into him."

(YN) could feel Frank's eyes on her. "What?" She asked, turning to look at him. He reached up to her cheek and pulled her in to kiss him. She didn't protest as he deepened the kiss, but after a moment the voice in her head started screaming 'What are you doing? This isn't how you two act in public!'

"Frank, what are you doing?" She asked, pulling back.

"I don't know anymore, (YN). I... fuck..." he stammered.

She knew where this was going because she had felt it building for a while now. She grabbed her bag and slid out from the booth.

"(YN) , come on, don't leave like this." He said following her out of the bar into the cool night.

"Frank, what are you doing?" She said putting an emphasis on each individual word, as if saying it more clearly would somehow spark clarity in his mind. She looked up at him, his hazel puppy dog eyes filled with fear and frustration. After a long moment, he still hadn't replied so she turned leave when he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him.

"(YN), I love you, ok? I fucking care about you and I don't give two shits about what we've agreed we're supposed to be, or what we aren't supposed to say. You are the reason none of those other relationships worked out. You're the one I always come back to, over and over again."

"Fucking hell man!" She shouted as she put her hands over her face. Her head was spinning. This was everything she had known deep down all along, it was all she wanted to hear for so long. But now that it was happening, she was panicking.

Frank took her wrists and pulled her hands away from her face, but she pulled her wrists away from him with a jerk, taking a step back and drawing in a deep breath.

"Ok, fine! I'm out of excuses. I've always had feelings for you too. Every time you tell me you have some girl you're seeing it made me so mad, and at first I didn't want anything more with you or anyone, but now I do and now I know you do too, so let's fucking do this Frank. I'm in. I love you too, goddamn it."

"You're mad that you love me?" He asked, laughing.

"Shut up" she said, pushing on his arm. He laughed again and took her face in his hands and placed a kiss on her lips with every ounce of passion he had been holding back for all the years and she wrapped her arms around his neck. When they separated, he took her hand and they went back into the bar to find Ray back at the table alone.

Even though he was dejected from his strikeout, Ray couldn't have been happier to see his plan to play Seven Minutes in Heaven all those years ago had finally paid off.

#frank iero x reader #frank iero fan fic #frank iero fan fiction #frank iero imagine #my chemical romance fan fic #my chemical romance fan fiction

[hold-me-sickfics]

14 Days: Taehyung

Hi guys! I’m really happy to be able to post this (somehow my internet came back, and I decided to post while I have it). I hope this is alright, I had a hard time writing it because I’m back home for the weekend and it’s hard to find somewhere quiet lol. I hope you guys like it!

TW: Food, Emeto, Nightmares, Slight anxiety attacks, Bruises are mentioned,  (If there are any more, let me know and I’ll add them in!)

Note: Also, I wanna give some major credit to @thatoneemokpop-02 for all their help with ideas and getting me started. I kid you not, I was entirely blank earlier and in a few texts with them, they had me ready to write! Please go check out their writing, because they’re so kind and amazing and not to mention, they have some of the most well-developed fics I have ever seen. Especially their “You’re my Yellow” fic. I love it!!! <3

Prompt: “What they don’t know, won’t hurt them.” That’s Taehyung’s thought process when it comes to the other members. For the past several weeks, Taehyung has been having relatively frequent nightmares. Only these nightmares aren’t just “bad dreams.” No, they have him waking up gasping for breath, tending to an anxious stomach, and really whatever else bad can happen with nightmares. At first, he had a nightmare every week, but now it’s gotten to the point of every other night. Lack of sleep is catching up with Taehyung, causing him to really need some extra love from the other members. The only thing is, he’s too embarrassed and afraid to talk about them. Luckily for Taehyung, one of the members happens to find out on their own… 

“Ladies and gentlemen, BTS!” The host gestured to the boys who were currently walking on stage.

Once the crowd quieted, the host began talking about BTS’ most recent accomplishments and asking questions to each of the members. As usual, Namjoon translated for them… mostly. BigHit had made a huge deal over them learning English and at least answering one question without Namjoon having to translate. Something about boosting their American support? The boys thought this was rather strange, considering their fans didn’t seem to care whether they spoke in Korean or not, but they did what they were told.

Taehyung watched and listened as the other boys answered their questions in perfect English, and the crowd squealed after every word they spoke. Then, it was his turn.

“Taehyung, let’s talk a little about you. A lot of fans, including myself, were absolutely stunned at your Singularity performance. How did you feel about the song? Any favorite parts in the choreography?”

Taehyung couldn’t breathe. He knew he was supposed to answer in English, but he couldn’t remember the words. Not even the first one.

He said his answer in Korean, hoping Namjoon would cover for him. Namjoon just gave him a look, seemingly saying “I’m not helping. Say what you’ve gotta say.”

Taehyung felt his blood run cold. Everyone was staring and starting to gasp… the cameraman looked worried as to whether or not to shut off the cameras and the members… they were looking at him… disappointed and somewhat angry…

Taehyung woke up unable to catch his breath. He was sweating all over, and not to mention trembling. His vision was blurry with tears.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. He’d had a nightmare every night since Saturday (which was when their manager told them they’d be doing an English interview soon), and it was Wednesday now.  He’d thought about telling the others, but he turned the idea down. He felt too embarrassed about not knowing as much English as they did, and he also knew they were exhausted and he wanted to make sure they got sleep. Or at least, as much as they could get. The boys already weren’t getting home until 11:45 every night, so when Taehyung actually could come home and go to sleep, he’d usually wake up around 2:00 with the nightmare, and wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after that. Part of this was because of his anxious stomach.

Speaking of which, Taehyung was now frantically pushing his covers off, and covering his mouth. He knew he had about 10 seconds before his late-night dinner would reappear. Luckily, he made it to the bathroom in time, and was able to kneel in front of the toilet. His knees had hit the tile hard, but he figured a couple bruises wouldn’t be as bad as having his dinner projected across the floor.

No sooner than his hands were gripping the sides of the bowl, was his dinner coming up and to the back of his throat. In one retch, he’d brought up a small stream. Followed by another, and another. Taehyung’s stomach was killing him, since he was so sore from having thrown up so much.

After what felt like an eternity, it was over. Taehyung rested his head on the rim of the toilet, and reached up with a sweaty hand to flush it.

Shakily, he stood up and looked himself in the mirror. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, then went back to his bed.

He walked slowly so he wouldn’t jostle his stomach.

Taehyung got into his bed, and pulled the covers up over himself. The warmth felt nice, being as his sweaty skin had felt like ice in the bathroom earlier. He decided to follow his normal routine after this kind of stuff happened…

“Siri, open LanguageGuru.” He whispered, his throat still sore from all the acid.

The app opened, and Taehyung spent the next two hours working on his English. Somehow, he’d gotten lucky, and at 4:30, he’d fallen back asleep. However, since they had to be up and out of the house by 6:00, he had to wake back up at 5:15.

When 5:15 came, he jolted awake, and went to the bathroom to puke again. It had just become part of the routine by now. He threw on a t-shirt and sweats, brushed his teeth, and combed his hair. Each action made his core hurt. Putting on deodorant was one of the worst parts, being as he had to put his arm up and then use his other one to put it on. Every motion felt like his insides had just been squeezed and beaten. By 5:30, he was able to head to the kitchen.

Jungkook just happened to come out of his room at the same time.

“Morning Taehyung!” Jungkook was awake… somehow.

“Morning Kook.” Taehyung’s voice was at a mere croak.

“Woah, hold on are you okay?” Jungkook gently took Taehyung’s wrist to get him to turn and look at him.

“I’m good. Just tired.” Taehyung hoped he’d believe it.

“Yeah, I don’t know about that. Tired is what Yoongi looks like right now… you look sick.” Despite popular belief, Jungkook was actually following in Jin’s footsteps as a lead caregiver for the group.

The maknae pressed the back of his hand to Taehyung’s cheek.

“You don’t have a fever… what else is wrong?”

“Nothing Kook, like I said, I’m just sorta out of it since I didn’t get much sleep.” Taehyung still allowed Jungkook to hold his wrist since for some reason, JK’s touch comforted him.

“I don’t think so.” Jungkook moved his hand from Taehyung’s wrist to Taehyung’s back. He rubbed up and down, and watched as Taehyung leaned into the touch.

“We’ve got dance practice this morning, but if you feel sick, tell me. I’ll get Namjoon hyung to let you come home. Alright?” The concern in JK’s eyes was shining.

“Thanks Kookie.” Taehyung smiled slightly, and then continued walking to the kitchen.

Jin was already rolling with cooking.

“Okay guys, we’ve got 20 minutes till we’ve gotta be in the car. I’ve made toast, and there’s bacon if you can get it away from Namjoon. Taehyung, Jungkook, what do you want to drink?” Jin was pouring “on the go” cups for each of the boys.

“Orange juice. Thanks Hyung.” Jungkook looked over at Taehyung.

“Coffee please.” Taehyung’s bags under his eyes seemed to be deeper and darker than everyone else’s.

Jungkook didn’t approve of Taehyung’s choice, being as coffee in the morning always upset his stomach, but he allowed it, hoping that it would at least make Taehyung feel less exhausted.

By the time everyone had eaten, it was time to load up and head to the studio.

The car ride was torture. Taehyung had developed a mean headache, and felt like he was gonna throw up at the first stop sign.

Jungkook had sat in the seat next to him, since he still wasn’t convinced that Taehyung was as “alright” as he said he was.

They were almost 15 minutes from BigHit when Taehyung’s stomach finally revolted. Before he even had a chance to ask for a bag, coffee and chewed up bacon and toast was spilling down his legs.  Jungkook was quick to put a bag under his chin for the next round, but it didn’t come. That first one and a mean wave of post-vomiting nausea was enough for him.

Taehyung cried, and Jungkook just held him. Jungkook knew he was sick now, and he could prove it. Before he could even tell Namjoon, the leader had already stood up and looked back at them.

“Oh no,” the concern in his eyes was evident. “It’s okay Taehyung, we’ll be at BigHit in a minute and we can get you cleaned up. Jungkook, can you help him get to the showers?”

“Yeah Hyung, I’ve got him.” Jungkook was wiping the leftover vomit from Taehyung’s chin.

“Taehyung, bud, I’m sorry you feel bad.” Jin spoke up, as he came back from the front. He’d brought a water bottle out of the cooler and a paper towel.

Jungkook helped Taehyung sip the water, and Jin dabbed the sweat from the younger’s face.

“Hey, this is Namjoon…” he went on to tell their choreographer what had happened. (It was always a big deal when one of them threw up. That could mean they were catching a virus, and since their trainer worked with other groups as well, he had to be strict about that kind of thing. It was the same way a few months ago when Namjoon came down with the flu.)

A faint noise told Taehyung that they’d been given the rest of the day off, which they were all more happy about than anything.

Then, they got a second phone call.

“Oh hey um-“ Namjoon wasn’t even able to get a word in. Judging by his expression, whoever was on the other end was yelling- a lot.

“Alright. We’ll be there soon.” Namjoon hung up, and then turned to the group.

“That was the head choreographer.”

Jungkook was still holding Taehyung close. He never was one to let a little throw up bother him.

“He’s still bringing us in. Taehyung… I’m so sorry. He’s letting you take a half-hour to clean up but then you’re supposed to join us…” Namjoon knew they weren’t his own orders, but he still felt like the bad guy having to say it.

“I-I’m okay hyung.” Taehyung shivered mid-sentence. “It was just the c-coffee. My stomach didn’t like it. I’m okay.”

How he looked said otherwise, and Jungkook piped up to mention that.

“Hyung isn’t there anything we can do? We’re all exhausted but Taehyung looks like he’s gonna collapse the second he gets off.”

“I’m sorry guys… he sounded serious… I’d talk to him but it seems the only thing he’s gonna do is make practice worse if we keep bugging him.”

The car stopped, and all of the boys stood up. Hoseok had his earbuds in before, but now that he’d taken them out, Yoongi was quick to get him out of the car and explain to Hoseok what was happening before he saw it. Hoseok’s sympathy sickness was not gonna help the situation at all.

Jin and Namjoon got off as well, followed by Jimin who was headed inside to find some clothes for Taehyung to change into when he got out of the shower.

“Taehyungie, can you stand?” Jungkook sweetly placed his hand on Taehyung’s upper back.

“Yeah I’m alright.”

Taehyung stood up, and Jungkook came right behind him. Luckily, the showers were on the first floor to the left, so Jungkook and Taehyung got there quickly.

Taehyung undressed himself, and then stepped into the shower. The hot water helped to soothe his sore muscles. He used the time in the shower to calm down, and try to refocus on his main mission for the day. Staying awake.

“Hey Taehyung, I’ve got your towel out here and Jimin brought clothes and a toothbrush. I’m out here when you’re ready.”

Taehyung knew what that meant. They’d been called back, and Taehyung’s time for showering was over.

He stepped out of the shower, and Jungkook handed him the towel. He got dressed quickly, and he and JK went to the studio.

By the time they got to the studio, the choreographer had already left, and the rest of the boys were already being led by Hoseok in the routines.

“Woah woah, pause it.” Hoseok waved the music off, and everyone stopped for a moment.

“Feeling better Taehyung?” Hoseok asked, walking toward the two.

“Yeah. The coffee just got me a little. I’m alright now.”

“Okay but if you need to stop just tell me. Joon, can you hit play again?”

Namjoon hit “play” and they started practice up again. Jungkook kept a close eye on Taehyung throughout the day, wanting to make sure that he really was alright.

Rehearsal lasted until 8:30 p.m. When it was over, the boys loaded up and headed back to the apartment.

“I’m making supper for anyone that wants it.” Jin got the chicken nuggets out of the refrigerator, and started to put them in the fryer.

“I think I’m gonna go ahead and turn in.” Taehyung both dreaded sleep and longed for it. H knew he’d end up having a nightmare anyway, so he might as well get some sleep while he could.

“Alright, night Taehyungie.” All the boys said their goodnights, except Jungkook who went with him back there.

“You going to sleep early too Kookie?” Taehyung asked, his eyes already heavy.

“Yeah… hey um if you need me tonight, wake me up okay?” Jungkook gave Taehyung a tight hug.

“I will Kookie. Don’t worry. Just get some rest.”

The boys said goodnight, and Taehyung was asleep almost instantly.

---

2:00 rolled around quickly, and as usual, Taehyung woke up unable to catch his breath. He was crying, terrified once again of forgetting how to speak in their upcoming interview. He felt sweat coating his skin, and he was almost at the part where he pukes, then someone came in.

“Tae Tae, it’s okay. It’s alright. I’m here. Breathe.” Jungkook was at his side, holding him tightly. Taehyung didn’t know how he got there, but he was glad to see him.

“J-Jungkook?”

“It’s me. Taehyung, you’re shaking…” Jungkook’s eyes widened.

Taehyung felt the bile rise in his throat, and he quickly went around Jungkook and ran to the bathroom. Once again, he crashed down, and vomit spilled out of him.

Jungkook came up behind him, holding his middle.

“Just get it up Taehyung. It’s alright. I’m here with you.”

The vomiting part didn’t last as long as usual, and Taehyung attributed that to Jungkook being there. Soon, they were back in Taehyung’s room. Jungkook decided to sleep with Taehyung in case he had another nightmare, but they couldn’t sleep until Taehyung told Jungkook what had him so upset.

“It’s that interview on the 25th. I’m- I’m afraid I won’t be able to speak correctly… or at all.”

Jungkook’s eyes filled with compassion.

“How come you didn’t say anything?” Jungkook rubbed Taehyung’s arm.

“I felt embarrassed about not knowing as much as you guys, and I didn’t want anyone to be worried about me since none of us are getting any sleep anyway…”

Jungkook took Taehyung’s hand, and gently squeezed it.

“First of all, I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with this by yourself. I know it must have been scary. But now you’ve got me and everyone else. The truth is, all of us have been nervous about the interview. Or at least, I know I have. But that’s a good thing because it means maybe we can help each other.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve been studying pretty hard, and I know you have too… so maybe we can study together! Then if one of us has trouble in the interview, the other once can step in and help them out.” Jungkook smiled.

Taehyung liked the idea, and agreed.

“Good. We start tomorrow.”

After that, both boys went to sleep and thankfully, slept through the night.

For the next couple weeks, they worked hard together on learning English. Namjoon got them some extra time by firing their old choreographer and hiring one that gave them more time between rehearsals so they wouldn’t burn themselves out.

By the time the interview came, Taehyung and Jungkook both aced it. Including the part where Taehyung introduced himself.

“My name is V, and I’m good boy.”

#RPF #Emeto #Nightmares #14DayFics #Taehyung!Sickfics #Caretaker!JK #TW Food #Hoping to post JK tomorrow! #Slight Anxiety Attacks #Bruises mentioned

[mayraki]

The Trained Assassin

Spencer Reid series. Part 11 (The End)

Not my gif! Credits to the owner.

Summary: Life’s not easy when you found out that instead of being trained to be a spy for the CIA, you are being trained to be an assassin, a killer. The people you wanted to stop, they were making you one. That’s when you joined the BAU to become someone new, you didn’t want to be someone’s toy. You wanted your past to be arrased, that’s all. But it’s not easy to hide a past like that.

Note: Well, the end is here! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who followed the story since the beginning. This is my first series and I couldn’t be more grateful for every comment, like and reblog. This has been a really beautiful journey as a writer and thank you for being a part of that. I love you all and see you at another one of my stories!

warning: graphic descriptions!

MASTERLIST

“The Family Grows”

Time flies when you are having a good time. Six months passed since you and Spencer decided to be together. At first, as you two suspected, it was weird. Morgan and Garcia teasing you about it, and you were pretty sure you heard Emily said at least four times the phrase “I was right.”

When you told your little brother, Max, he was so excited and started to talk about a future with Spencer and all the magic tricks he was going to learn from him.

“You are a great cook, Spencer.” Max said when dinner was over.

“Yeah, you never stop learning things about each other.” You said surprised at him.

After spending almost an hour watching Spencer make magic tricks to Max, you told him that it was time to go bed.

“But I’m on vacation!” He protested and you lifted your eyebrow.

“Max, bed.”

He sighed and hugged Spencer goodbye. He let out a little smile and looked at you once Max was our of your sight.

“You know, we don’t have to wake up early tomorrow either. We can do something.” He said getting closer to you.

“Right... what do you have in mind?” You let your arms rest on top of his shoulders and he grabbed your waist to pull you closer.

“Uh, I don’t know.” You smiled and kissed him slowly.

“I have an idea, but we have to go to the bedroom.”

You lifted your eyebrow and smiled “Oh, we do?”

He nodded and you kissed him again, but when his phone rang he sighed.

“It’s JJ.” He said confused looking at the screen.

“That’s not good.” You said and walked to your room to get changed, because you knew you had to leave soon.

After taking Max to one of his friend’s house to stay for as long as you were working on the case, you drove to the BAU. Spencer and you ran to the meeting room because you knew you were late.

“Sorry we’re late!” You said once you entered the room but noticed that JJ and Hotch weren’t there.

“Now, what were you two doing that made you late?” Morgan asked with a smirk on his face and you punched him in the arm.

“Nothing, we had to do something before coming in here.”

“Yeah, and is that thing you had to do, be connected to the fact that Spencer has shiny lips gloss all over his lips?” Garcia said and you quickly looked up to Spencer.

“Wow, that really is a a long lasting lip gloss.” You said but you turned to the team. “But that’s not what we were doing, now, drop it.”

No one could say anything else because JJ entered the room and without hesitation said quickly “Grab your go bag and let’s go. I’ll explain everything in the plane.”

“A kid has been abducted ten minutes ago. They want us because they had similar cases, once a week a kid’s reported missing. Now, her name is Julia Porter. She’s eight years old.” JJ said once the plane started to move.

“Like we all know, the first hours of an abduction are the most important. So let’s act quick.” Hotch said and everyone nodded.

The team arrived at the destination and once you were able to get to the police station, you started to do your job.

“Julia’s father is here.” JJ said.

“I’ll talk to him.” Emily offered.

“There’s going to be a bonfire this afternoon for the lost children, if this person is capable of remorse he’s going to be there. Y/n and Morgan, I need you to go there.” You nodded and turned to the board Spencer was building.

“Do you have something?” You asked him.

“Well, all of his victims are the same age. But they go for boys and girls. And the fact that they still haven’t found them, that indicated that, maybe, they’re still alive.”

“Yeah, let’s pray that and not that they’re keeping the bodies..” you said and felt your stomach turned at the thought of that.

The smell of fire came into your nose once you arrived at the bonfire. A ton of pictures and toys were on the floor, people were leaving flowers and you started to look at their behaviour.

You walked to the side of the fire and Morgan to the other. Then, you noticed a guy with a black jacket on. He wasn’t talking to anyone and he seemed nervous. He was looking down and he had a single flower on his hands.

He approached the fire and let the flower close to the photo of the most recent girl who went missing. That made you even more curious about him, that’s when you locked eyes with him and you noticed that his nerves went up. He tried to not look at you but he kept glancing. He was trying to keep calm but when you started to walk to him he quickly turned to the other side and ran towards the houses.

You ran after him and tried to get Morgan’s attention, but then you decided it was best for him to keep looking at the people there. He was fast and while he was running, he turned to you to see if you were still following him.

“Stop! FBI! Stop!” You sreamed at him but he didn’t listened to you.

It was extremely difficult trying to not lose him, the houses were big and he kept turning in weird ways around the houses. The trees didn’t let a lot of day light trough so that didn’t help either. He turned to the left and lost him on the trees.

“Fuck.” You whispered and headed back to where Morgan was.

“Where did you go?” He asked once you got next him.

“There was this guy, he seemed suspicious. He left a flower for the last girl who disappeared, and then he started to run. That’s when I followed him but I lost him on the trees.” Morgan nodded. “I’m not sure is he’s the unsub, but I’m going to find out more about him.”

***

“Yes, I’ve seen him around. He’s a pretty weird kid, he always uses the same jacket.” A neighbor told you “But I don’t think he’s capable of doing such a bad thing, I think he’s a little bit slow.”

“Slow?” You asked.

“Yeah, one time I tried to talk to him because he was in the middle of the road, but he couldn’t take a word out. He was shaking and couldn’t keep his posture straight.”

“Was he drunk?” Morgan asked.

“No, I don’t think so. I’ve never seen him with a bottle in his hands.” The neighbor said and you thanked her.

“So he lives here.” Morgan said and you nodded while walking towards the car.

“Yeah, but his house has to be behind the trees. Otherwise, out of all the neighbors we interviewed, at least one would’ve been able to tell us where he lives.”

You arrived at the police station and noticed Spencer looking at the board where all the clues were hanged.

“Is there anything new?” You asked him once you stood next to him.

“The father told us that he saw a white van across the street a couple of times.” He said without taking his eyes from the board.

“Does he remembers the type of van?”

He shook his head “he said a normal looking van.”

You slowly nodded and felt a headache appeared in your head. You sighed and closed your eyes, trying to ignore the pain.

“You ok?” He asked and you opened your eyes. His sweet eyes were looking at you concerned.

“When I don’t sleep I get this headaches. It’s alright.”

“Maybe you should take a break.”

You shook your head. “No, I won’t stop until we find this little girl.” He nodded and went back to the board.

After going back to the neighbourhood, this time with Spencer, you decided to go and look around at the houses that were hidden by the trees. They looked old and rusty, like no one took care of them. They were far away from each other.

“It looks like they are abandoned.” Spencer said and you slowly nodded.

“This is the last house?” You asked once you arrived at the end of the little road.

“Looks like it.”

You didn’t see anything strange and that made you frustrated. Because, maybe that meant you were looking on the wrong place.

“Wait, there’s a house down there.” Spencer said and you looked to where he was pointing.

There was a house behind another one. To go to it, you had to drive in a little road next to the house. But that seems to be blocked by some branches.

“That looks intentional.” You said and Spencer nodded.

You got out of the car and headed to the house that was in front of it. You knocked on the door and seconds later a old lady appeared on the door.

“How can I help you?” She asked with a sweet voice.

“Hi, we’re the FBI and we would like to ask you some questions.” The lady nodded “What can you tell us about the house you have behind yours?”

“That old thing? No one has come out of it in years. But I’m sure someone lives there.”

“How are you so sure?” Spencer asked.

“They get a lot of mail. There’s always a van that comes every morning, stays for a couple of minutes and then leaves.”

“A white van?” You asked and the lady nodded. You looked at Spencer and he had the same expression. You thanked the lady and grabbed your phone while you were walking back to the car.

“Y/n.” Hotch said on the phone.

“We talked to a lady and found out that a white van comes to a house down the road every morning.” You said while getting inside the car.

“Can you see the house and notice if anyone is inside?”

“No, the house in front of it hides it perfectly.”

“Ok. Approach it and wait for a response. Be careful. Keep me posted.”

You hanged the phone call and told Spencer the orders Hotch gave you. He nodded and just when you were about to open the door, you heard a car driving to you. That’s when you saw a van passing you by and going trough the branches.

“Didn’t the woman told us they came every morning?” Spencer asked.

“What’s so special about today?”

“I’ll call Hotch.” He said and you didn’t take your eyes off the van.

It was moving slowly and then you lost it because of the house in front of it. You sighed and then heard Spencer talking to Hotch.

“He says that we stick with the original order, if there’s nothing to hide. They won’t panick.” You nodded and got out of the car.

Once you were close enough to the house you saw the van parked next to the porche. There was completely silence taking over your surroundings and you got closer to Spencer. You stood in front of the door and knocked on it. But no response. Knocked on it again and no response.

“FBI, open up.” You said and still, no response. That’s when you heard a noise coming from the van and you walked towards it. A louder noise came to your ears and you pulled out your gun, Spencer did the same and walked towards the door of the van, you nodded when he looked at you. But when he was about to open the door, the van started and it drove backwards.

“Stop!” You didn’t want to shot the van because maybe whoever was inside could be of help.

But the van, instead of driving away, it drove into the trees and smoke started to come out of if.

You walked towards it next to Spencer, with your gun out. Once you got next to the van you headed to the door and Spencer walked to the other side.

“FBI! Get out of the van with your hands where I can see them!” You yelled but no noise came out of the van. “Spencer, I’m going in.” You said and he nodded.

You opened the door and quickly pointed your gun. Nobody was in the front seat. There was a curtain that covered the back of the van, so you slowly grabbed it and then quickly pulled. A man was laying there in pain and you pointed your gun towards him. It was the man from the bonfire.

“Don’t move!” You yelled and you heard Spencer ran to you. You walked towards the man and handcuffed him. “You have some explanation to do, buddy.” You said and got out of the van.

***

“There’s no way this kid could pulled out an abduction by himself.” Hotch said while the team watched Morgan interview him.

He couldn’t say a word and you noticed his hands were shaking. He looked like he was under a drug and he consumed way more than his body could handle. Hotch was right, but something didn’t add up.

“Then I don’t know what to think anymore. There’s no more clues.” You said and sighed.

You felt frustrated. This never happened to you, you always knew your next move. You were always ahead of time and never felt like the case was winning you, but this time, it was.

You walked out of the room and felt Spencer follow you. “Hey..” he said and you felt his hands touch your arms. “Don’t let it get to you, we are going to find her.”

“Did I just waist time by going after this guy?” Spencer shook his head and got in front of you.

“You’re doing the best you can, Y/n. We all are.”

“And sometimes that’s not enough, and that sucks.” Spencer nodded and hugged you.

“Yeah, our job sucks sometimes.” He said and you let your head rest in his shoulder.

“I don’t know why I’m letting it get to me so much, I’m not usually like this.” You said.

“It’s ok, kids cases can be difficult sometimes.”

You slowly nodded and tried to keep yourself together and continue with the case.

After a couple of hours trying to get the kid to talk, Hotch decided to let him go because he didn’t fit the profile and there was no way a kid like him could commit something so difficult like an abduction. And he was right.

You offered yourself to take the kid back to the house, and Spencer told you he was not going to let you go alone. So, when everything was ready, you got to the car and started to drive it back to the house.

The ride was silent and you could feel the kid looking at you most of the time. But it wasn’t a serious look, he had sweet in his eyes, but you don’t want to let him know that you noticed that, because that could be pretended.

Once you arrived at the house, you let the kid out and went to the door to knock on it again to see if anyone was there. And this time, a woman open the door. He had a messy bun and had cleaning clothes on.

After the woman let Spencer and you in, you explained the situation and the woman nodded. “You know, I’m sorry he did that. I told him a million times to not drive that van.”

The woman put his arm around the kid’s shoulder and you noticed he flinched for a second. You looked at Spencer, and for the look on his face you knew he saw the same thing.

Something about this house and the woman made your suspicious about the situation go up.

“Ben, why don’t you go to your room and let me talk to the agents?” The woman said and he slowly got up from the couch and Spencer did the same thing.

“It’s alright if I go with him? You know, for kids like him this situations can be a little bit traumatic, I just want to let him know it’s alright.” He said and the woman hesitated, but then she nodded.

Once he was behind the woman he gave you a look letting you know that he also thinked that something was wrong.

“Does he get in trouble a lot?” You asked once Spencer and Ben were out of the living room.

“Yeah, sometimes. But he doesn’t mean it, he doesn’t understand why he does stuff, you know?” She said and you felt like she wasn’t telling the complete truth. “He’s been like this since he was a kid, it’s hard for me. I’ve been his tutor since his mother passed away.”

“And what about his father?” You asked and looked around. The were no photos. No mother, no father, not even her and Ben.

“He left his mother when he found out she was pregnant. He was a bastard. A told Lily to stay away from that man. But she never listened.”

“How did you knew his mother?”

“We were best friends.” She said quickly. “I knew here since I can remember. I’m Ben’s godmother.” You noticed that it was barely any reaction in her face.

If she was so close to his mother, how come there’s no pictures of her?

“I’m going to check on Ben, if he’s alone with strangers he gets a little bit nervous.” She said and you slowly nodded.

Once she was gone, you got up and started to look for details in her living room. Everything was so clean, for a house that was surrounded by trees and dirt it was very difficult to keep the house clean. But there was definitely not sight of dust. When you were about to walk to the kitchen you heard a noise coming from the back of the house and Spencer came into your mind.

You walked towards the noise and saw the kid laying on the floor, but he was not hurt, he was shaking more than before.

“Hey, Ben, you’re ok?” You entered the room and your eyes went immediately to the body that was laying on the floor.

“Spencer!” Before you could do anything else, something hit you hard on the head and you fell on your knees.

The pain in your head came like a fast truck and you closed your eyes trying to get over the pain. You tried to pulled out your gun but the same thing that hit you before, made it’s way to your arm and you screamed in pain. That’s when you noticed the woman trying to get your gun. When she did it, she throw it across the room where you noticed Spencer’s gun was also there. She hit you again on your back and this time, you fell entirely on the floor.

“You’re being more difficult than this one over here.” She pointed to Spencer. “One hit and he was all over the floor. Men. They are weak. But you... you are strong.” The pain in your head was getting harder to ignore and everything was becoming blurry. She tried to hit you again but you avoided it by moving to you side, and then punched her in her knee with your foot.

You tried to go towards your gun but she hit you again in the back. This woman was extremely strong. The pain in your back was hard to ignore and you coughed. You noticed blood on the floor and touched your head, your hands were covered in blood.

The woman walked to the guns and grabbed them. Walked away for a second and then she came back, with nothing but a baseball bat on her hands.

“Oh, you’re a really trying hard to stay awake. I like that.” She said and you remembered that Ben was still in the room. You were trying to get his attention but the woman got in front of him, kicking you in the face with her foot. You hit the floor by the impact and everything was starting to get black. You moved again and you noticed the woman was getting frustrated.

“I’m starting to get bored with you! Go to fucking sleep!” She hit you again in the back and your insides moved. You pretended to black out, so you could see what the woman was going to do. “Finally!” She said. You heard her walked to the other room and you slightly opened your eyes. Ben was still shaking but this time he was looking at you. You tried to move but the pain made it impossible.

You locked eyes with Ben and you noticed he was trying to say something to you. He slowly moved his hands and pointed to the floor with his index finger. When you were trying to understand what he was saying, you heard that the woman was coming back so you closed your eyes.

“C’mon, Ben, we’re going to continue with our daily routine. Just because this two stupid agents are here, I’m not going to stop. I’m pretty sure they are not going to wake up before we get back.” She said and you heard two people heading out the room. You waited for the van to start and drove away, before you open your eyes and try to move. The pain was still there but this time you were able to get up.

“Spencer..” you tried to say but the pain inside of you made it so difficult. You slowly walked outside and noticed that your car was still there.

You lifted Spencer and you screamed in pain. Once he was up, you noticed blood where his head was. You felt a tear coming down your face and you didn’t know if it was for the pain you were feeling or for Spencer. Probably both.

You walked towards your car and carefully left Spencer in the back seat. But when you were about to opened your door, you noticed a door that leaded to an outside basement. You remembered Ben pointing to the floor and it hit you. He was telling you to go to the basement.

You hesitated, should you trust him?

But the woman was gone, so you decided to go and check it out. You pulled out the gun you had hidden in your leg, and walked slowly to the door, trying to not scream in pain.

You walked down the stairs once you opened the door and grabbed the flashlight you had on your back pocket.

Clothes were all over the place and the smell of blood came into your nose.

“Hello?” A kid’s voice said and you looked to where it came from.

“Julia?” You asked and the kid coughed.

“Yeah.” You walked to her and pointed your flashlight at her. She had bruises all over her arms and legs.

“Julia.” You kneeled down at her. “Hi, I’m Y/n, I work for the FBI. You’re safe now. Can you walk sweetie?” She nodded and when you gently grabbed her arm you noticed needle marks on her arm. She was drugged.

Once you walked to your car, you noticed Spencer was still not awake and that made your heart sink. That was not good.

You helped Julia get in the car and you got in after everything was ready.

You started the car and drove quickly out of there. You looked at Julia and she was falling asleep.

“No! No! Julia, don’t go to sleep. Don’t let the drugs take over your body, sweetie.” You said quickly and tried to drove as fast as you could.

You felt blood coming down your face and tears started to drop down your cheeks. “Spencer! Wake up! Please!” You tried to control your emotions but the pain you felt inside made you break down. “Spencer!”

You remembered the car phone and you marked Hotch’s number.

“Y/n? Where are you?” He said and you noticed the concern in his tone.

“Hotch! Hotch! I need you to listen to me! I have Julia with me, it was the kid’s godmother. There’s no time to explain, but Spencer and I are really hurt and I’m heading to the hospital. Julia was drugged.” You said as quickly as possible and tried to keep your breathing normal.

“Y/n, which hospital?” He asked.

“No! Hotch, listen to me! I’ve got this, you go with the team after the woman. It’s the same van, I think they are going after another kid. You go after her, Hotch.”

“Y/n! I’m not going to let you do this alone! Where are you? Tell me, that’s an order!”

“I’m sorry, Hotch.” You hanged the call and the tears were coming fast down your face.

When you arrived at the hospital, you left the car and ran inside.

“Please! Help!” You said and tried to get anyone’s attention.

“Doctor!” A woman yelled and got close to you.

“The car! Outside!” You said but felt your stomach shut down at the pain. The last thing you heard was people runing outside.

***

You opened your eyes and immediately felt the pain in your body appeared again. You tried to sat down but a lot of cables were connected to you so that made it impossible.

“Hey, hey” Emily said next to you. “You need to rest.”

“Where’s Spencer?” You asked.

“He’s ok. He’s in the next room.” She said with a half smile.

“I need to see him.” You tried to disconnect the cables but Emily was quick and stopped you.

“He’s fine. I promise you.”

“What about the little girl?”

“She’s fine. You saved her life. Hers and Spencer’s.” You were about to ask another question but Emily stopped you “Yes, we got her.” You slowly nodded.

You closed your eyes and your body immediately fell asleep.

You opened your eyes once again and this time the person who was there with you was Garcia.

“Hi, sweet girl, how you feeling?” She asked you once she got up and was close to you.

“I’m better now.” You said and gave her a little smile. You drank from your glass of water you had on your side table and heard someone walk inside the room. It was Hotch.

“I’m going to let you two talk.” She said giving you a smile and walked out of the room.

“Hotch, I’m sorry.”

“You ignored my order.” He said with a serious face and you looked down. You were preparing yourself to hear him fire you but what he said next, surprised you. “You risked your life to save others. And at the same time, helped us catch the unsub. Now, I don’t know how you’re still alive, I have to be honest. But I do know that thanks to you, one of my agents and a little girl are alive. You saved them, Y/n.” He gave you a little smile and you gave him one back.

“You’re not going to fire me?”

He shook his head “No, but I do know that you’re going to make the right decision.”

You looked at him confused but he walked out of the room.

You let your hand rest on your stomach and closed your eyes. That’s when you heard your phone buzz and looked at it.

“Your period it late: four weeks!” You read on the little screen. You never gave much thought into it. You were used to getting your period late, for the stress you felt at work, it was common. But this time you felt different.

So, you decided to call Garcia and ask her for a little favor.

***

“Spencer..” you said once the doctors let you two walked out of the room to see each other. You walked towards him and gave him a soft hug. You were still in pain and didn’t want to mess things up for the two of you. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. But the headache doesn’t go away.” He said and gave you a little smile. “Does Maxim know?”

You shook your head. “I never tell him when I’m at the hospital, it’s pretty often with this job.” You let out a little laugh “I don’t want to concern him.”

Spencer nodded and hugged you once again. “You saved my life.” He said almost in a whisper.

“Of course, I would never hesitate.” You said in the same tone as him.

“Next time, it’s my turn.” He said jokingly but you didn’t laugh. You had another thing in mind.

“You already did.” He looked you in the eyes “You make me happy, Spencer.” He gave you a little smile and united his lips with yours. “I think the universe is telling me to stop.” You said once the kiss was over.

“Maybe.” He said and gently grabbed your cheeks. “This is our job.”

“Spencer, I’m not talking about our job.” You said and Spencer lifted his left eyebrow confused.

You reached your back pocket and grabbed the positive pregnancy test. He looked at it and it took him a second to get it together.

“You’re pregnant?” He asked in a whisper and you nodded. You were afraid of his answer but he smiled went as bigger as his face allowed it. He had tears coming down his face and that made you teared up. He grabbed your cheeks and gave you a big kiss. “I’m going to be a father.” He said with excitement.

“And I’m going to be a mother.” You said and you let out a little smile but then reality just hit you. You were going to be a mother. “I don’t even know how to be one.” Your face changed with fear and Spencer made you look up to him.

“Hey, hey. I don’t know either, how to be a father. But we’ll figure it out together. I’ll read as many books as I can in 9 months and...”

“That’s probably a lot.” You said and let out a little laugh.

He nodded giving a little smile “The important thing is that we’re a team. We have Max too. He’s a little genius, he’s going to be a great uncle.”

“Oh my god, the baby’s father and uncle are both nerds, it’s destiny is already written.” You said jokingly and Spencer smiled at you.

He united his lips with yours and hugged you. “You make me so happy, Y/n. And I can’t imagine my life without you.” He kissed you again. “You’re my entire world. And I can’t believe your mine. You’re so damn beautiful... I can wait to meet this little baby and give it this awesome life. And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, my little trained assasin.”

***

Well, here’s the ending! Did I cry when I finished it!? Yes, absolutely. I hope y’all liked it and you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This has been amazing. Again, thank you so much for every like, comment and reblog. It means the world to me. So, thank you. See your later :)

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