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#i genuinely don't know how to refer to these things i mean... i already have such a hard time explaining that i don't ship jo and laurie
wombywoo · 6 months
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Ok! I've finally decided to put together a (somewhat) comprehensive tutorial on my latest art~
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Please enjoy this little step-by-step 💁‍♀️
First things first--references!
Now I'm not saying you have to go overboard, but I always find that this is a crucial starting point in any art piece I intend on making. Especially if you're a detail freak like me and want to make it as realistic as possible 🙃
As such, your web browser should look like this at any given point:
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Since this is a historical piece, it means hours upon hours of meaningless research just to see what color the socks are, but...again. that isn't, strictly, necessary 😅
Once I've compiled all my lovely ref pics, I usually dump them into a big-ass collage ⬇️
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(I will end up not using half of these, alas :'D)
Another reference search for background material, and getting to showcase our models of choice for this occasion~
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When picking a reference for an actor or model, the main thing I keep in mind (besides prettiness 🤭) is lighting and orientation. Because I already kinda know what pose I'm gonna go with for this piece, I can look for specific angles that might fit the criteria. I should mention that I am a reference hound, and my current COD actor ref folder looks like this:
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Also keep in mind, if you're using a ref that you need to flip, make sure you adjust accordingly. This especially applies to clothing, as certain things like pants zippers and belt buckles can be quite specific ☝️
Now that we've spent countless hours googling, it's time to start with a rough sketch:
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It doesn't have to be pretty, folks, just a basic guideline of where you want the figures to be.
The next step is to define it more, and I know this looks like that 'how to draw an owl' meme, but I promise--getting from the loose sketch above to below is not that difficult.
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Things to keep in mind are--don't go too in-depth with the details, because things are still subject to change at this point. In terms of making a suitable anatomically-correct sketch, I would suggest lots of studying. This doesn't even have to be things like figure drawing, I genuinely look at people around me for inspiration all the time. Familiarize yourself with the human form, and things like weight, proportions, posing will seem a little more feasible.
It's also important at this stage to consider your composition. Remember to flip the canvas frequently to make sure you're not leaning to one side too often. I'm sure something can be said for the spiral fibonacci stuff, which I don't really try to do on purpose, but I think keeping things like symmetry and balance in mind is a good start ✌️
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Next step is just blocking in the figures. Standard. No fuss 👍
Now onto the background!
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It's frankly hilarious how many people thought I was *hand-drawing* these maps and stuff 😂😂 I cannot even begin to comprehend how insanely difficult that would be. So yeah, we're just taking the lazy copy and paste way out 🤙
I almost always prepare my backgrounds first, and this is mostly to get a general color scheme off the bat. For collage work, it's really just a matter of trial and error, sticking this here, slapping this there, etc. I like to futz around with different overlay options until I've found a nice arrangement. Advice for this is just--go nuts 🤷‍♀️
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Next, I add a few color adjustments. I tend to make at least 2 colors pop in an art piece, and low and behold, they usually tend to be red and blue ❤️💙There's something about warm/cool vibes, idk man..
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Now we move on to coloring the figures. This is just a basic block and fill, not really defining any of the details yet.
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Next, we add some cursory values. Sloppy airbrush works fine, it'll look better soon I promise 🙏
And now--rendering!
I know a lot of beginner artists are intimidated by rendering, and I can totally understand why. It's just one of those things you have to commit to 💪
I've decided to show a brief process of rendering our dear Johnny's face here:
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Starting off, I usually rely on the trusty airbrush just to get some color values going. Note--I've kept my sketch layer on top, but feel free to turn it on and off as you work, so as to not be too bound to the sketch. For now, it's just a guideline.
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This next stage may look like a huge jump, but it's really just adding more to the foundation. I try to think of it like putting on make-up in a way~ Adding contours, accentuating highlights. This is also where I start adding in more saturation, especially around areas such as ears, nose and lips. Still a bit fuzzy at this point, but that's why we keep adding to it 💪
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A boy has appeared! See--now I've removed most of the line layer, and it holds up on its own. I'll admit that in order to achieve this realistic style, you'll need lots and lots of practice and skill, which shouldn't be discouraging! Just motivate yourself with the prospect of getting to look at pretty men for countless hours 🙆‍♀️
I'll probably do a more in-depth explanation about rendering at some point, but let's keep this rolling~
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Moving forward is just a process of adding to the figures bit by bit. I do lean towards filling in each section from top to bottom, but you can feel free to pop around to certain parts that appeal to you more. I almost always do the faces first though, because if they end up sucking, I feel less guilty about scrapping it 😂 But no--I think he's pretty enough to proceed 😚
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They're coming together now 🙆‍♀️ Another helpful tip--make sure you reuse color. By that, I mean--try to incorporate various colors throughout your piece, using the eyedropper tool to keep a consistent palette. I try to put in bits of red and blue where I can
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Here they are fully rendered! Notice I've made a few subtle changes from the sketch, like adjusting the belt buckles because I made a mistake 😬 Hence why you shouldn't put too much stock in your initial sketch~
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The next step is more of a stylistic choice, but I usually go over everything with an outline, typically in a bright color like green. Occasionally, I can just use my initial line layer, but for this, I've made a brand new, cleaner line 👍
And the final step is adjusting the color and adding some text:
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Tada!! It's done!
All in all, this took me the better part of a week, but I have a lot of free time, so yeah ✌️
I hope you appreciated that little walkthrough~ I know people have been asking me how I do my art, but the truth is--I usually have no clue how to explain myself 😅 So have this half-assed tutorial~
As a bonus, here is a cute (cursed) image of Johnny without his mustache:
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A baby, a literal infant child !!! who put this wee bairn on the front lines ??! 😭
Anyway! peace out ✌️
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ozzgin · 2 months
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Hello.
Do you think I can request headcanons for Nakamaro ?
Like in an alternate route, reader and him (he's in his twenties because... magic ?) are married and reader is pregnant.
But the funny thing is, Nakamaro can't bully the yokais because reader will exorcise him each time he tries.
Aaaaah I finished writing and only afterwards it occurred to me you might've wanted a modern day reader for this. 😭 I imagined the events in his own timeline. Oh well. I think it can work both ways. Just replace the ancient pouch with, I don't know, a visa card that he throws at your parents for wife payment.
Yandere! Onmyōji x Reader
Yokai Harem AU as the wife of Abe no Nakamaro, a legendary sorcerer and collector of yokai. Although you're not quite as powerless as to not keep his cruelty under control.
Content: female reader, arranged marriage, mentions of pregnancy
[Main Story] [Character Guide]
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Your family had vehemently opposed the marriage. To think their one and only daughter would fall into the hands of such a cruel man. The famous Abe no Nakamaro, descendant of Abe no Seimei himself, has quite a contradicting reputation. He has saved many lives, cured countless illnesses, protected villages from monsters and brought peace to the land. Yet many have also witnessed his ruthless nature: the arrogance he has towards humans, the disdain and utter disgust he harbors towards demons. He is quick to punish, rarely forgives, and never forgets. The yokai he’s captured under a binding contract are kept on a leash, like cattle before slaughter.
It is this man who approached your parents one day, when you were still young, demanding your hand. He claimed you had special powers and a lot of potential under the right guidance. Such spiritual prowess would waste away in a family of plebeians. You don’t remember much of the discussion, only the expressions: the man’s mocking grin as he threw a pouch fattened with coins, the frown of your parents who wanted to refuse, the uneasy, grim eyes of the horned demons brought to intimidate. It was clear they were there against their will. One will find just how difficult it is to go against the wishes of the onmyōji, and you happened to be his most ardent desire. Thus, with a heavy heart, you’d been sent away with the stranger who promised you were to live a life of luxury. One your parents could never afford.
True to his word, you have not struggled since. In Akutagawa’s short masterpiece, Hell Screen, artist Yoshihide is wicked and vicious towards everything and everyone except his beloved daughter. Similarly, the sorcerer seems to have a soft spot for you in particular. He often praises your talent, and patiently caters to your whims without complaint. You once inquired about it yourself, as the idea weighed heavily on your mind: why is it that he does not show the same hostility towards you? He stared at you as if you just grew two more heads. "You're my wife. What else is there to question?"
This favoritism, however, is to the benefit of everyone. Especially to the yokai under his command. You've grown rather fond of the demons in your years spent alongside them, and they've quickly learned that your presence means safety from any punishment. Some need reassurance more than others. To these you've even begun to feel like a motherly figure, shielding them from the wrath of an unforgiving master. At last, an authority even Abe no Nakamaro himself can't disobey: the word of his wife.
And soon enough, as if your marriage wasn't already the ultimate argument, you welcome the return of your husband with the news he's always longed for: you are the soon-to-be mother of his child. His name has just been guaranteed to continue its course through time. To say he is elated is an understatement. You've only seen him smile so genuinely once before in your life, on your wedding day.
"Can you imagine the powers this child will command?" He muses, referring most likely to the fact you've both been blessed with an innate, unmatched talent in onmyōdō. You finish rolling the parchment paper and gently tap his head with the scroll in a scolding manner. "You better not burden the kid with your bizarre expectations!" The same man feared throughout the country is chuckling apologetically at your gesture. "As the Mother says."
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ceilidho · 5 months
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coworker soap who frames the fleshlight thing as a joke but with a creepy undercurrent that you cant understand why you know it isnt a joke but you also dont wanna rock the boat so you dont tell hr bc johnny the ex-military man is a model employee otherwise and you cant help but feel hot shame run down ur spine when he says it that you are, at least a little, flattered by it bc shit dude hes HOT. coworker soap who just. doesnt bring it up again. its just boiling rhe frog. he says weird, borderline creepy shit that could be passed off as "guy talk" in any other situation (regardless of readers gender). He follows you around like a puppy and where it used to be normal for you, you feel a little creeped out now but. everyone. already refers to you as a duo. itd be weird if you stopped for no reason? right?
i don't know what broke in my mind long ago that this is like, the weirdly hottest thing in the world to me but im genuinely twitching over it right now.
model employee Johnny, knows the handbook inside and out, walks elderly customers to their cars with their bags, shows up to work early for every shift, always with a smile and a positive attitude. management loves him because his sales are also record high (i mean, it makes sense - i wouldn't be able to say no if he was helping me with a purchase and tried to upsell me). he's also a spokesperson for the company in all of their internal training videos because he was hired through some "jobs for vets" program that they just rolled out (idk i'm making this up). and the guy can stack things on a shelf like no one's business lmao like MILITARY precision/organization.
all your coworkers love him and genuinely like fist pump whenever they get put on the schedule with him because he's a blast to work with, and some of your coworkers are actually incredibly jealous that he just seems to follow you around everywhere. hangs off your every word. always seems to just pop out from around the corner whenever you're having trouble reaching something on a shelf.
but he says weird, uncomfortable shit to you sometimes. way over the line. you don't even know what to say at first when Johnny jokingly tells you that he has a fleshlight at home that he's named after you, just laughs and then stares at you for a second. and you like, give a little awkward laugh, growing more uncomfortable by the second the longer he stares at you without blinking. until something passes over his eyes and suddenly he's back to normal, clapping you on the arm and wandering off back to the men's apparel section.
he does a lot of strange shit actually. maybe insists on walking you to your car when the two of you are on the closing shift and it's well into the evening. laughs a little too hard and with too much vigour when someone calls him your shadow, his eyes just a little too bright and fervent. asks if you want to sit on his lap while he shows you how to use the forklift in the backroom. begs management to let him take his breaks with you and doesn't let you have a moment of peace, just sits with you in the breakroom or follows you to your car when you say that you're going out for lunch.
and you can't complain to any of your coworkers because the second you so much as criticize his work, they bark at you to be nice to him. he's just re-acclimating to civilian life, of course he's not perfect at his job yet. they defend him viciously. and the real jealous ones even tell on you in front of him, leaving you standing there embarrassed and on the spot until Johnny just smiles and says that it's alright. you'll just have to teach him better.
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neechees · 3 months
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Raisedeyebrowemojii Scamming information post
So as some of you know, it's been revealed that @raisedeyebrowemojii was a scammer, and for those of you that don't know, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. This is going to be an information post on raisedeyebrowemojii's scamming, lies, the evidence, and where they stole from, and the debunking of all their claims as comprehensively as possible to help the people they scammed and manipulated get some closure, and hopefully to provide insight on how you might spot them again.
I carried out an investigation on the now confirmed scammer, and now deactivated user @blktransdyke, who deleted within hours of my callout post. On that post I connected blktransdyke as being the same person behind raisedeyebrowemojii due to the information both of them had posted for alleged fundraisers, which you can see in the post here. For a short recap, both blktransdyke and raisedeyebrowemojii "Jay" both had the exact same story of allegedly being trans/homeless/disabled and posted photos of the exact same brown tabby cat named "Trouble", both claiming that it was their "best friend's cat" and raisedeyebrowemojii created a patreon for Trouble the cat, only for me to find that Trouble the cat is a hyperpopular cat vlogging/fanpage with 42K followers on facebook, and both of these blogs stole from this page and neither of them were affiliated with this famous facebook.
Moving on, with some help, ive also found more evidence that raisedeyebrowemojii was a scammer. I know many people were already convinced by the callout post I already did, but I think it's important to debunk a lot of raisedeyebrowemojii's claims due to the fact that so many people thought they were genuine, that they had died, and due to the fact that they stole pretty much every detail of their alleged life from somewhere else, and I can prove it, so I want to clear things up, and maybe allow some people to gain peace in the knowledge that "Jay" did not die, and was never in danger of dying to begin with.
The rest of this post will be under the cut because again, this is going to get long. I encourage everyone who was approached by or donated to raisedeyebrowemojii to reblog to help get the word out, thank you. Image descriptions will be available in alt text.
For starters, raisedeyebrowemojii went by the name "Jay", and on the donation posts of theirs (scams), they used the paypal name "Jay Baldwin", and Jay claimed to be disabled (allegedly they had tourettes, autism, cerebral palsey, were deaf, in a wheelchair, had a terminal kidney disease, and allegedly other undisclosed disabilities), Canadian, that they lived in the city of Toronto (in Ontario, Canada), and a trans lesbian. Screenshots for that below
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Misuse of terminology & racefaking
Let's talk about their bio first. I suspect that the scammer behind this blog is neither Black nor Canadian, due to the fact that, as I mentioned in this post, 1. Black Canadians don't really refer to themselves as "African American" as much here in Canada, partly due to the fact that a lot of Black Canadians actually have roots from the Caribbean & not directly from Africa or America, 2. "Jay" claimed to be Canadian but also said they had an uncle & grandparents still living in South Africa, which means they're implying they're either a first or second generation African Canadian immigrant, so why would they call themselves "African American" if they have no national/ethnic ties to America, and they are Canadian? So, like the blktransdyke blog, who i proved is most likely the same person as raisedeyebrowemojii, both of these blogs are using incorrect/strange terminology for the ethnicities they claim to be, thus indicating racefaking and a falsified Nationality.
Falsified Nationality
Here I also have reason to believe this person is not Canadian, or in the very least, did not live in the city of Toronto, or likely the province of Ontario. Partly due to the evidence ive just given above, but also due to the reasons I'm about to give & the connected next point I'll get to soon. For one example, "Jay" made the donation post in the first screenshot i gave where they claimed they were scared they were going to freeze to death, and that they could hardly even type on their phone due to the absolute insane cold temperatures of Toronto.
However, I took a look at the Toronto weather forecast for the day that raisedeyebrowemojii posted that update (February 12th, 2023) and found that the temperature had gotten up to 6°C (or 42.8°F), with very little wind, and it didn't even get below freezing temperatures that day, and only got two degrees below freezing the night before (which is when they claim they were staying in a shelter). Canadians will know that this type of temperature in FEBRUARY is actually very very warm and pleasant. Like, unseasonably, weirdly warm. Screenshot for that below.
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Now, for an actual homeless person, being outside in the cold, even if it's warmer than usual, this is still difficult and harsh conditions to live under. However, this is still a large exaggeration from what Raisedeyebrowemojii claimed it was, and youre not very likely to freeze to death in this kind of weather compared to the usual Canadian temperatures. The way "Jay" described it makes me think that it is not a Canadian who made this post, and is someone who was not in Toronto to actually know what temperature it was that day, but just assumed it would be very cold.
Impersonation of the real Jay Baldwin
Thanks to some help (of people whom I will keep anonymous for their safety & as a precaution of the scammer harassing them), i managed to locate the identity of the REAL Jay Baldwin, and was able to concretely find out that this person is who raisedeyebrowemojii was impersonating. So, who is the real Jay Baldwin you ask?
Jay Baldwin is a Black, disabled (who uses a wheelchair and has Cerebral Palsey) nonbinary Canadian and the founder of the private Facebook support group "Disabled, Queer, and Fabulous" with over 1.1K members, and is a student at Carleton university in Ontario, Canada, and this Jay Baldwin has actually been doing really well for themselves, and has gotten pretty famous in the Ottawa area. And, as you can see, the raisedeyebrowemojii "Jay" apparently has a lot in common with THIS Jay Baldwin, including their names, being Black, a disabled wheelchair user with Cerebral palsey, nonbinary, Canadian living in Ontario, and both use they/them pronouns. But let me show you how I know they've been stealing from this person.
One way I can tell that raisedeyebrowemojii definitely was not THIS Jay Baldwin is their faces. On the screenshot to the left is the icon that raisedeyebrowemojii (of allegedly "themselves") used for their blog, taken from the webarchive screenshot of their blog, and to the right is a cropped portrait photo of the real Jay Baldwin, taken from this information page on the official Carleton University website, which also lists most of the information I just listed about the REAL Jay.
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Obviously these two people look absolutely nothing alike. And we can tell that raisedeyebrowemojii meant for their scamsona to look like the person on the left, because they also used a photo of another dark-skinned Black person in ANOTHER donation post. So they stole these selfies from a different person altogether, although I haven't yet been able to locate where they'd stolen them.
One of the reasons that raisedeyebrowemojii's lies were so convincing though is that they were stealing or misconstruing some of Jay Baldwin's life experiences almost in real time, and I believe that raisedeyebrowemojii was keeping tabs on Jay in order to harvest their life details. For example, on a Facebook post, Jay Baldwin mentioned the death of their father a few times, but also on June 26th 2022, made the memorial post below about the death of their uncle
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and meanwhile, on August 25th 2022, raisedeyebrowemojii ALSO suddenly started saying that their dad died, which you can see on the screenshot of their tumblr profile, which as webarchive screenshot shows, was not there before. While they changed the dates, raisedeyebrowemojii was clearly pulling from the real Jay's life, so it looks like we can see around the time that the dcammer decided to randomly incorporate this into their scamsona. As far as I can find, raisedeyebrowemojii never made a donation post regarding their "Father" and said that he was abusive, so adding this detail from the real Jay's life shows that it was unnecessary except to look more real and to manipulate people into believing them.
In the ways that raisedeyebrowemojii misconstrued things, they also of course constantly used the story that they were either homeless or on the verge of being homeless. Where Jay would post facebook updates of doing very well and being happy in life and even doing & hosting events for disability rights, raisedeyebrowemojii around the same time would post about needing money due to either allegedly starving, of dying, needing medical attention, or being homeless.
Below are screenshots of, in the order that they appear (so we're going chronologically in time that these were posted by both raisedeyebrowemojii and Jay Baldwin respectively) from left to right, raisedeyebrowemojii asking for money on February 16th 2023 talking about being in allegedly horrific conditions, then Jay Baldwin posting a peppy update on facebook, looking very happy and having a drink with the caption "Cheers to life!" on February 22nd, and then another donation scam post by raisedeyebrowemojii begging for money saying they're "on the streets" and "will die", posted on February 26th 2023.
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You'll be happy to know that the real Jay Baldwin is not homeless or food insecure, and seems to have had a good relationship with both of their parents and is in an accepting home, unlike what raisedeyebrowemojii claimed THEY had, and claimed they were being abused. Raisedeyebrowemojii likely falsified all that while still impersonating Jay and keeping tabs on them in order to create a false sense of urgency whenever they wanted money at random.
Normally I wouldn't go into this much detail about the people who were stolen from in scams, but I feel like this case in particular it was important to point out where the scammer was pulling from to debunk their lies, but also because the real Jay Baldwin has become quite an iconic figure in their area, and all this information was taken from multiple publicly available sources, and so I can only assume that Jay is comfortable with this personal information being known.
Little to no life details, interests, or personality outside of the impersonating Jay Baldwin, and manipulation
As I'm sure many of you know by now (as ive mentioned it in previous posts, and that some of you currently reading this were victims of the scammer), but raisedeyebrowemojii contacted multiple, predominantly Black users to attempt to befriend them, and they did this in order to appear more legitimate, and most likely so that they had "friends" to call upon should any of their scams have been questioned. We've also seen this with multiple other scammers where a new blog will appear and suddenly start tagging mostly Black users to ask them to (unknowingly) reblog their scam posts.
And as a more famous example, we've seen this with the famed scammer Laura Deramas where she befriended multiple users to get them to stick up for her.
But to get down to the title's point, outside of the life details they were stealing or misconstruing from the real Jay, Raisedeyebrowemojii didn't have much of their own personality or traits, which is common in scams. Say, for example, a scammer will create a scamsona who is a lesbian and loves cats and is making a fake donation post for a sick cat, and so in order to make their blog look more convincing, they will randomly reblog popular posts from tags about cats or lesbianism.
In Raisedeyebrowemojii's case, we had one user mention that while Raisedeyebrowemojii was trying to "befriend" them, Raisedeyebrowemojii would only answer very generic questions asked of them despite the fact that they sent the messages first appearing to try to get to know that user, like answering "I like reading!" Instead of answering what their favorite books are if asked about their interests. Below is a screenshot of that conversation. This user emphasizes that they never got an answer to the last question they asked.
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"Kidney disease" and alleged "death"
I stated on my blog that I believe raisedeyebrowemojii randomly said that they were diagnosed with a "terminal kidney disease" (allegedly chronic kidney disease) specifically with the view that they could leave, deactivate, or abandon their blog and then move onto ANOTHER scam blog (and likely this was the blktransdyke blog) without looking suspicious or weird, because then people would just assume they had died, which is exactly what happened.
Raisedeyebrowemojii stopped posting around June 2023, and the blktransdyke blog appeared in early April 2023, which makes me think this is when they started to move to that blog or potentially even another blog we don't yet know about. Funeral scams, or scams where the scammer pretends their persona has "died" in general is not new and is actually pretty common. It's possible that raisedeyebrowemojii was going to (or may still attempt) to return on another blog and pretend to be a family member or "friend" of the raisedeyebrowemojii in order to ask for alleged "funeral money", which we've seen with blogs like the now deleted blog @destrawberry.
But the main reason I think why they stopped posting in specifically June is because that is around the time the real Jay Baldwin was gaining popularity again, doing multiple public events, and was doing very very well, so I think the scammer became aware there was now more of a chance of people discovering their scam. In June, Jay won an award at an LGBT film festival for a documentary they had made ("Supporting Out Selves") and an Academic Hospital wrote a piece on their success, and in August they announced that they teamed up with ASE Community Foundation for Black Canadians with Disabities to host their 3rd student summit in September. You can find evidence of this by googling or by looking at Jay Baldwin's facebook, but of course, please give respect to the real Jay Baldwin & do not pester them.
Conclusion
All in all I hope that this clarifies a lot of things for those of you that were confused by all this, and again, I extend my dearest sympathies to those who donated to raisedeyebrowemojii and were manipulated by them, I know the feeling and I'm so terribly sorry that it's happened to you too. I advise any Black users especially to be very cautious about any new blogs with a donation post up that is new, and this new blog is trying to ask you to reblog their donation post: it's common for scammers to retarget anybody who may have donated to them, talked to them, or even just barely interacted with them before.
I'll put some of raisedeyebrowemojii's old paypals, gfm accounts, etc in either the replies or another reblog, because for now I'm running out of space. If you donated to them at any point, i suggest you report their accounts where you did the donating. And in the mean time, my colleague @kyra45 is taking testimonies on raisedeyebrowemojii, so if you have an experience with this scammer and would like to share that experience with us so we can document this scammer's behavior, please send Kyra an ask.
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kooktrash · 1 year
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campus affairs | jeon jungkook
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summary: you transferred to a new college during second semester and you didn’t expect much excitement out for. that’s until jungkook came along and what had struggled to be a friendship was becoming so much more.
warnings: 11.9k. college au. smut. fluff. f2l. y/n is new. Jungkook is kinda tsundere. mutual pining. friendship. college life. bakery fluff. protected sex. make out. groping/fondling. hand job. oral [m]. riding. light dirty talk. very smitten characters.
He didn't say anything for a long moment. Instead he stared at his two friends blankly. They had huge smiles on their faces as they waited for him to respond. He wasn't sure what they wanted him to say but it didn't matter. Nothing came to mind anyway. What was he supposed to say? He didn't know you, he didn't care to, but it's not like he had a reason for it. He didn't have a single reason to tell them no when you've done anything to him. It wasn't even your fault he felt this way, he just did.
Even when you gave him a bright, polite smile he didn't react. You looked down to the other two awkwardly, "It's fine, I can find another group."
"No, we want you here," Sia told you, "Sit, Jungkook's just an asshole but he'll warm up to you."
"It's alright," you told her looking back to Jungkook in confusion and that made him feel bad. He didn't mean to have such a bored expression or make you feel bad. He just didn't like the effort it took into meeting new people. Hence why his closest friends are the two girls he's known since middle school and nobody else.
"Wait," he called out just as you were turning to leave, "Stay."
You looked down to Sia and Yuna who smiled widely pointing to the empty spot next to Sia. Yuna sat across with Jungkook, "Y/n this is Jungkook, Jungkook this is Y/n. She's new, you would've noticed if you actually went to the lecture today."
"I overslept," Jungkook said with a shrug looking up at the stranger now sitting across from him. Had his friends really befriended you that easy?
They did do it that easy. They were the only ones with an open seat in the lecture hall. When you approached them they were quick to get to know you. It was the second month of the semester and you were transferring Universities. The only reason you did it is because this one provided classes your previous school didn't. When the professor advised you to join a study group Yuna and Sia were quick to invite you to theirs. You didn't expect the other member of the group to be intimidating tatted guy with piercings—not that it looked bad.
"Here's my notes from the unit we just did," Sia said sliding you her laptop letting you type in your email so she could send you the documents. Yuna leaned forward from her spot, "So, any plans tonight?"
"Hm?" You weren't expecting her question considering you'd only met her an hour ago. Yuna smiled, "I asked if you're doing anything tonight? We're going to go out for chicken and Soju. You should join us."
"Yes! You should come with us, we'll go after we're done here and have dinner," Sia added on smiling widely in anticipation. They were like a dose of serotonin Jungkook lacked. Maybe that's why he stuck with them for so long.
"Uh, I don't know..." if it was just the girls you'd say yes. Why wouldn't you want to meet people this quickly? But he was making you debate on going or not. He didn't seem interested in meeting anyone knew and he already didn't look happy letting you into their study group.
Jungkook got up leaving to find a textbook he needed to borrow for reference to an essay he was working on. He roamed the aisle closest to his friends and only looked over when one of them spoke a little too loud. You were smiling now along with them, laughing about something he couldn't hear. Your face lit up when you smiled and it looked genuine. You didn't pay attention to him but Jungkook didn't mind that.
People never expected him to best friends with such lovely girls but that's just how things happened. He was in a rough place in middle school, his parents always fighting, his older sibling moving out, his grades dropping. He was always sad and tired and Yuna was the first to be nice to him. She let him copee her notes, sat with him at lunch and basically befriended him when nobody else did. Then of course Sia came along attached to Yuna and they treated him warmly. He wasn't necessarily a quiet person but he was closed off. He only let certain people in and they were some of them.
This isn't the first time Yuna and Sia have adopted a newbie into their care but they've never stuck around—or one of them would end up crushing on Jungkook and get mad when he's not interested. The only guys that came around wanted just wanted to sleep with them and when Jungkook would tell them off for it they'd leave. He hated hearing guys talk about his friends like that. He wasn't interested in either one of them romantically and he doesn't think he ever has. They're just friends, and they were bringing you along this time.
He wondered if you were gonna be like the last chick they hung out with, Soomin. Sia and Yuna were so nice to her but she didn't care for it. She asked Jungkook out and when he rejected her she was rude to them as if it was their fault. So when he told her off for being a rude bitch apparently he was an asshole. He didn't care, they were like sisters to him. His older brother took care of him so why would he take care of those closest to him?
"I have to work tonight," You had been saying when Jungkook got back to the table. Sia frowned, "Where do you work?"
"A bakery," you told her, "It closes at 9:00 thought since it's a part of a plaza that closes at that time."
"Do you get a lot of customers then?" Yuna asked disregarding her homework leaving Jungkook the only one working surprisingly. You shook your head, "Not really, on slow days we'll get like four customers through the shift and they're usually regulars."
"Tell us the name and we'll stop by some day," She said to you and you did just that.
The second time he saw you was during class, when he actually managed to show up. You were sitting on the inside of the row while Yuna sat at the end of it with Sia. He had to make his way through to get to the empty seat next to you.
"Surprise, surprise," Sia said leaning forward to look at him, "Somebody finally made it to class."
"Don't get used to it," Jungkook said with a huff making his cheeks round as he looked to you for a quick moment. You stood out to him in a pink knitted vest and shoes that matched in color. You wore gold jewelry and your lashes looked long, for some reason that gave you a more enticing look. You turned suddenly, catching him in the act of staring.
"Do you have a pencil I can borrow?" He asked hoping that would cover his awful attempt at being discreet. You opened up your pencil pouch shaped like a caterpillar with antennas and began searching for it. You pulled out two mechanical pencils biting your lips nervously, "Sorry, this is the only one I have unless you want to write with a pink pen."
He looked at the purple mechanical pencil with lavender hearts on it and a heart-shaped eraser. Down on your desk space was a matching pink mechanical pencil that must've been from the same pack and he took it. He had to keep his cover story straight so you wouldn't think he's weird for staring. He studied the pencil, it was cute and he didn't feel embarrassed using it. Every now and then he'd look over and catching you writing with the matching pink one. Sometimes he'd see you two if against your lip when you read something. Throughout the lecture he used the purple pencil, even used the heart eraser a couple times. He got some weird stares from some guys but when they saw yours they shrugged it off probably thinking it was a couple thing.
After class you packed up your things before he did and before he could give it back to you, you were rushing out the class late for another early lecture. With a small sigh he put the pencil in his black backpack and left with Sia and Yuna. The pencil looked ridiculous with his black and white school supplies but it added a pop of color.
"We should go to Y/n's work," Yuna said after her last class when she met up with Sia and Jungkook at the bus stop, "I wanna try whatever pastries they have there."
"Yes! I want to try some too, wanna come with?" Sia asked turning to Jungkook. He thought about it for a second. He could either go home and have some ramen, or he could go try some dessert. Never one to turn down food he hopped on the bus heading toward a different direction than his apartment.
In reality he didn't have to ride the bus. He had a nice Mercedes Benz waiting in his family home's parking garage left unused. His father bought it for him when he was old enough to get a license but Jungkook never uses it. It'd be another thing he's reminded of, how his family controls everything in his life. How they'll use it against him when he doesn't do what they say and he's just not interested in that. Instead he used his allowance for a bus pass and at least that way he can ride with Sia and Yuna whenever.
The bakery you worked at was very warm, it smelled delicious and it was pretty. That's what Jungkook noticed first. The glass cases were lit up with a yellow hue that illuminates whoever stood behind it and currently that was you wearing a cream colored apron and your hair pinned back. You smiled at the group who you'd gotten acquainted with this past week. Even surprised to see Jungkook had willingly come here when he's been pretty closed off.
Not that you minded him being more serious around you. You've heard stories from Sia and Yuna and they always made him way more lively than he is around you. You wondered if you made him uncomfortable or annoyed but this morning he asked for a pencil and the only one you had was covered in hearts. Still though, he used it and it felt like a triumph. He was clearly a private person and you had just recently started hanging out with the other two so there's not much you can say on that matter.
"Hey," you said when they got to the counter after checking the place out. There was a couple at a table and a few high school students at another but beside that it wasn't busy at all. Sia looked down at the bakery case, "I need you to tell me what's the best thing here before I buy everything."
"And she will," Yuna said peering into it too. Jungkook hovered over them taking a peak too, practically tasting the pastry on his tongue. You pointed to the one you liked and they each ordered one and Jungkook ordered a second too. "Can you sit with us for a while or do you have to stay behind the counter?" Yuna asked once they paid with your employee discount added in.
"I can but if someone goes up I have to go look," you said leading them to a round table leaving you between Jungkook and Sia. "This place is so cute, do you have to close alone?" Sia asked you as she cut a slice into the pastry.
"Yeah but it's not hard, it's just pretty dark by the time I'm off," you said with a shrug. You had a full ride scholarship so you really only worked for your housing and food but even that wasn't too expensive. You lived in a pretty cheap old apartment but it was close to your new school and you didn't usually get that many groceries. You worked three days out of the week and once on the weekends so with that plus tips you were making it. Unfortunately that just meant you didn't have much spending money and you had to work longer shifts when you were done with classes.
"Do you walk home?" Jungkook asked suddenly, speaking to you finally aside from when ordered his pastry. You shook your head looking back to him and the big forkful of cake he was holding up. He shoved it in his mouth waiting for an answer from you.
"I usually catch the bus," you told him making his brows furrow. The bus is like a ten minute walk from the shopping plaza and that meant you had to walk to it alone at night.
"That's scary," Sia piped in, "Please be safe when you're closing up."
"When do you work?" Jungkook asked looking at you again like he was concerned but you probably saw wrong. You told him your schedule which was usually Monday's, Wednesday's, Friday's and sometimes Saturday's. He nodded his head in acknowledgement looking back to his pastry as he finished the first one already reaching out for the second.
It's not that he should worry or anything but then he thinks about Sia and Yuna. They're like sisters to him and if either of them got off work so late then he'd be concerned about their safety. He didn't know you well but he couldn't imagine you walking home alone and some creep approaching you. He can remember your schedule, that way Yuna and Sia will feel more at ease knowing you won't walk home alone. Yeah that's it, it's for them not to worry.
"That was literally amazing, how do you work here without eating everything?" Sia asked as she finished up her pastry. You gave her a smile, "After a while it gets tiring but when we have extra dessert usually I'll take it home. I can take you some if you'd like, they'd only be a day old."
"Please!" They said unanimously. Just then the wind chime above the door rang and a gust of wind hit the table making you stand up lifting a finger to them motioning for them to give you a second. You left to the counter feeling a tug on your arm when you were walking making you whip around in surprise.
A smile spread across his face, "Not even gonna say hi?"
Your eyes widened, "Tae Tae!" Your arms flew around his neck suddenly making him stumble back a step as he caught you by the waist. The three you'd gotten to know stared in confusion and surprise as you and the handsome stranger started talking.
"You think that's Y/n's boyfriend?" Sia asked turning to the other two. Jungkook studied the guy a little closer, he seemed warm and friendly compared to him. Jungkook shrugged as he turned to look out the window lit up by large bulb string lights. Yuna nodded, "Probably. Y/n's pretty and that guy is hot. Did you see the way they greeted each other?"
He looked back to the two at the register. Was that your type? He looked like the artistic type, the kind who'd spend his time listening to jazz music and enjoying a piece of art. Jungkook preferred working out, music, photography and sometimes painting. It really depended on his mood. He couldn't deny how soft the man looked compared to Jungkook's harder exterior.
"Guys this is my most bestest friend in the entire world, Taehyung these are my new classmates," you introduced him like a pepperoni pizza with too much pepperoni [lil Caesar's lol]. Taehyung have a subtle wave as he looked over the trio as you said their names.
"Did you come all the way here to surprise Y/n?" Sia asked curiously but Taehyung just shook his head no. "I was in the area and stopped by."
"He would never go out of his way to see me. He doesn't care about me," you joked as you sat back down with the group looking back to him, "Pull up a chair." Taehyung shook his head, his hand going to the top of your head, "I've gotta catch the Subway but thanks for the food, Ugly."
"Because you're so cute, right?" You glared looking up at him but he only smiled. "I am."
"Anyways, it was nice meeting you, please take care of Y/n, she's a little slow," Taehyung joked making you smack his arm as he pulled it away from your head. He did a quick wave goodbye and left.
"Oh my God, be honest, is he your boyfriend?" Yuna rushed to speak. Your brows furrowed before a look of disgust crossed your face, "Ew, no. We met in an art study class freshman year of College and we became friends since."
"You're an art major? How didn't we know that?" Sia asked making you shrug. "Because we only take prerequisite courses together and since I've only been here a week and a half I haven't had a project yet?"
Jungkook wasn't fully listening anymore. His eyes were staring out the window where the guy had walked past. So you weren't dating him but you were obviously close enough for him to stop by here. How was he not worried about how late you'd be getting off if he's supposed to be your friend?
"We'll wait for you to close so we can all head home together," Yuna said checking the time. Jungkook nodded in agreement even if he didn't say anything.
         "Jungkook! I said you have to go!" Sia yelled at him the following Friday night. Even though you had to work today you didn't have to close the bakery and got off a little earlier. Once your new friends found out they asked to come over for some drinks and food which was currently what you were doing. You're out of Soju so you all did rock paper scissors to see who would buy and Jungkook lost against the three of you. Now you were all arguing.
"I don't even know where the store is here!" Jungkook said making you sighed. "I'll just go," you said standing up using the coffee table for support. Sia pulled on your pants, "No, he lost he has to go. He's just complaining."
"It's fine, the store's just a couple streets down," you told her watching her let go of you so you could go get your wallet and put your shoes on. With an annoyed huff Jungkook was getting up too, "I'll go with then, that way you can show me which store is closest."
"Ooh can we snoop your art while you're gone?" Yuna asked pointing to the spare room you had filled with art canvases. You nodded letting them go and do that while you waited for Jungkook to finish getting his shoes on, "I can go by myself."
"I lost so I should be going by myself," he shrugged but he didn't tell you to stay behind. He held the door open for you as you left down the hall toward the elevator, neither really saying anything. When you got down to the front entrance you hadn't expected it to be so windy out. You hugged your arms to your chest for warmth and began leading the way to the convenience store late at night.
"Are you cold?" He asked after a minute or two of watching you shiver. You looked back to him shaking your head no. It made him laugh softly before he was coming to a halt making you stop too. You watched as he reached for the back of his hoodie pulling it forward until it was slipping off. "Wear this," he said holding it out to you revealing a white long sleeve shirt.
"Won't you be cold?" You asked moving out of reach so he couldn't hand it to you. He told you no but you were still reluctant to take it. Jungkook has slowly been warming up to you but you can't say you're as close with him as you are with Sia and Yuna. Sure, the four of you were in a group chat and study group together, and often times had lunch together but he didn't talk to you that much.
You face forward to walk again but you didn't even make it a step forward when something thick and warm was being draped over your head covering you in a scent of expensive cologne. Your hands went up to fight his hold as he pulled the hoodie down for your head to peak out. You turned to glare at him as he finished slipping the oversized hoodie on you letting you poke your arms into the sleeves. He cleared his throat as he took a step away from you suddenly shy with how forward he'd been. His fist covered his mouth as he looked away from you, "Isn't that better?"
"Are you sure you won't be cold?" You asked adjusting the hoodie to fit you better but it was no use. It was too big and it smelled just like him. You shamelessly brought the front to your nose, "You smell really good. What do you use?"
"Yves Saint Laurent," he told you, cheeks flushing red along with the tip of his nose walking next to you again. He caught you taking another whiff of the hoodie and it had him pulling his sleeve to his nose to see if he still had the scent on him. The store was in a more populated section of your neighborhood with more store fronts lit up and he held the door open for you to go in.
The hoodie reached about your mid thigh and the sleeves were way too long so you kept having to slide them up.
He grabbed a basket letting you fill it with snacks before going to the liquor section. "Have you ever had cinnamon caramel ice cream?" You asked him suddenly as you stood in front of a freezer filled with ice cream.
"No," he said simply watching you open the door and pull out a pint of the ice cream and dropping it into the basket. Once you had the Soju the two of you headed over to the register. You fumbled with your wallet reaching into the too big front pocket of the hoodie as the cashier finished ringing your total up and when you finally got it out Jungkook was tapping his phone against the machine.
"Have a good night," the female cashier said with starry eyes as she stared at Jungkook. He took the bags before you could reach for them and it had you tugging him back, "I'll help you."
He shook you off making you whine, stomping a foot in the process, "You paid, let me help you."
"No," he said as the two of you stepped back out, "If you want to help you could grab the ice cream and let me try it."
He liked how expressive you were. You didn't shy away from touch or stop yourself from saying things that were on your mind like when you told him his perfume smelled great. You proceeded to smell his hoodie, and ultimately him, maybe he should wear it more often. You also had lively reactions compared to his monotonous ones. It was like a breath of fresh air and when the wind picked up your hair making you fight to tame it, it made you look prettier than usual.
"You're gonna love it, it's so good," you reached for the small plastic spoon that came with the pint and popped the lid open. You scooped up a decent amount going to hand it to him. Jungkook tried sliding the bags down his wrists but they were heavy. You held the spoon out to him, "Here."
He bit his lip in thought as the two of you stopped. He looked down to the spoon before bending his knees so he was eye level with you and let his mouth open slightly. You pushed the spoon past his lips and as they close around the plastic his eyes locked on yours. Your brows raised, "Well?"
He stood straight again swallowing the small bite he took ignoring the sudden race in his heart before nodding, "It's good."
"Told you so," you smiled as you took a bite for yourself. The walk back to your apartment was quiet aside from the time you'd bring the spoon to his lips to give him a taste.
      Jungkook noticed early on that he was really seeing you as a friend. He found himself caring about you the same way he cared about Yuna and Sia. The main difference is he found himself thinking about you even more than necessary. He wasn't sure what it was but you had managed to weasel your way closer to him and he was definitely happy about that.
He'll admit, he did get a little more protective with you when others came around. He wasn't vocal about it but he hovered like he was doing now but with Sia and Yuna.
"Thanks again for letting me borrow your study guide, some guy, Jimin, said catching up with the four when they had gotten back from lunch. Now you were standing a few feet away from them talking to Jimin, "Let me treat you to a meal. When are you free?"
"Oh, um," you didn't know what to say. It's not that you wanted to turn him down but honestly you're so busy with catching up with the semester and work. You bit your lip in thought, "How about I give you my number so we can plan?"
"Do you think he's her type?" Jungkook asked the other two curiously. Don't ask him why he was curious, he just was. Sia shrugged, "Isn't Park Jimin everyone's type?"
"They've been talking a while, should we just go?" Jungkook asked slightly bothered by the fact that you were still talking. You and him had class together next and he wanted to leave already.
"Why? Is it bother you that they're talking? You seem awfully interested in those two," Yuna pointed out making Sia nod in agreement. Jungkook rolled his eyes in time to see you and Jimin say your goodbyes.
"We're gonna be late," Jungkook said when you finally caught up to them. You signed, "I know, sorry."
"It's alright," he said as you two split from Sia and Yuna, "How did it go with Jimin?"
He looked over to you as the two of you walked down the stairs heading toward another prerequisite course you shared.
You gave a shrug, "It was fine I guess. I always feel bad when someone asks me out because I seriously don't have time unless it's last minute."
"Isn't that kind of worse?" Jungkook asked, holding the door to the hall open for you so the two of you could sit in for your next class, "Like always having to tell people you can't hang out if they message you last minute?"
You shook your head, "I mean, like I'm the one making plans last minute. I rarely have free time so when I do, it's unplanned and I end up just hoping someone wants to spend time with me."
He nodded in understanding. He didn't have the same type of busy schedule as you did. Frankly, he just didn't have to pay for school, or anything else. Maybe he was just spoiled but his parents pay for everything including a luxury apartment and a Mercedes Benz.
He already knows that he doesn't have to worry about work and supporting himself so he has way too much free time. He wishes he could understand you better but he also didn't want to act like he did because he didn't. He didn't have to work to feed himself or keep a roof over his head while attending college full time. But, in a sense, if you ever did randomly ask him to hang out because you had time off, he'd be free whenever.
       You hated yourself for thinking Jungkook was so unbelievably attractive. It wouldn't be such a problem if he wasn't your friend but because he was you didn't want to think that. Despite it being close to midterms you've yet to meet that many people aside from Yuna, Jungkook, and Sia.
You didn't want to lose a friend just because you started catching feelings for Jungkook. How awful would that be.
You were too busy cleaning the inside of the muffin case to pay attention to the wind chimes, barely muttering a greeting at the customer who came in. Jungkook smiled a little at the fact you were clearly stepping on a step stool to be able to reach the case, "You open?"
You looked over, a smile spreading across your lips, "What if I say no?"
"Then I guess I'll just have to come back another time," he walked over to where you were passing a couple college students doing homework. He leaned against the front counter smiling warmly, "Hey."
"Hey," you breathed out finally getting down from the stepping stool, "What are you doing here? Came for more cake?"
"And other things," he shrugged looking down at the warm cases, "I was in the area and I had a feeling you'd be closing tonight. I had a sudden craving for some carrot cake and I figured since it's late I can just wait for you to close so I can walk you home."
"Well isn't that sweet of you?" You asked already sliding the glass and grabbing parchment paper to pick up the carrot cake with white frosting and a chocolate orange carrot on top, "Also, this carrot is so you."
"Am I supposed to know what you mean by that?" He asked walking over to the register watching you put the slice of cake on a small plate. He waited for you to ring it up but you didn't, instead sliding it over to him as you said, "You've got bunny teeth, did you know that? And you scrunch your nose a lot."
"Wow, and here I am trying to seem tough while you're comparing me to a fur ball," he sighed dramatically waiting for you to lift the counter top and join him at a table, "What color bunny?"
You didn't hesitate when you said, "Black."
He scrunched his nose in response, "That's fitting. Want me to tell you yours?"
"Have you been thinking about it?" You asked as he cut a small piece of cake with his fork and offered it to you. He nodded, "For the past two minutes, yeah."
"Cat," he said simply, "But personality wise? Puppy?"
"Why puppy?" You asked swallowing the bite of cake he'd given you. He shrugged, "Sometimes you're energetic and it's cute."
You tried finding a proper response without sounding flirty and when you came up blank you were lucky enough to be saved by the wind chimes. You left him at the table to go work and he sat back watching you.
Why did he feel different with you compared to how he felt around Sia and Yuna, speaking of which...
yuna: I'm hungryyyyyyyyy
jungkook: what's that gotta do with me
yuna: bring me food I'm on campus
jungkook: can't
jungkook: I'm walking y/n home
jungkook: there's a cafe by the bus stop
yuna: boo u whore
yuna: y didn't u invite me
jungkook: idk
He waited outside the shop while you finished closing. It was dark and cold out so he made sure to double layer in case you forgot a sweater again. When you came out he watched you double check the door was closed before turning to him with a smile. "Put your hand out."
"Huh?" He asked lifting his hand, "Wh—". You placed a pink hand warmer in his tatted hand making him stutter. "So your hands don't get cold obviously," you said taking yours out of your pocket.
"Well aren't you the sweetest?" He chuckled as he examined it better. It was actually white with a soft pink pattern. He looked at yours and yours was the same but opposite.
"Since you let me borrow your hoodie," you said making him chuckle. "Borrow? I haven't gotten it back, I think you stole it."
"Technically not steal, you knew I had it," you played along knowing he wasn't serious about it.
After some time of walking in comfortable silence it had to be interrupted by his phone. He couldn't hold in the deep sigh as he took his phone out reading his screen.
You didn't mean to snoop but when you turned to look at him you got a good read at whoever was calling him. It was a guy with 'hyung' added to the name. You watched him put his phone away holding his hand warmer a little tighter. It wasn't even a minute later that it was ringing again. Once again he hung up the call and once again it was ringing.
"Sorry, it's uh, it's my older brother," he huffed in annoyance as he tries locking his phone only to receive yet another call.
"Maybe you should answer it," you shrugged walking ahead a little so he could have some more privacy. With a sigh he clicked answer, "Hello?"
"Finally you're done ignoring me," his older brother JungHyun said clearly annoyed, "Dad is asking if you'll be attending for dinner tomorrow. Park Jisoo will be present."
Jungkook couldn't resist the roll of his eyes at the mention of the woman. Jisoo was someone his parents deeply wished he'd date. Her father is a CEO of an entertainment business that works closely to his family's tech business. Since they were kids they've been around each other in hopes that some day they'd marry and expand both business. Clearly that isn't happening if Jungkook has anything to do with it.
He looked over to you who was walking a couple feet in front of him and suddenly he wanted to get off the phone so he didn't have to hear about Jisoo. "Why? Are we having dinner with her?" he cleared his throat awkwardly looking back to you, "Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow."
With that he ended the call before his brother could say anything else releasing a deep sigh. You looked over to him with curiosity, "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," he smiled already catching sight of the bus stop across the street. He looked toward you, eyes landing on your red puffy nose from the cold, "You know I bundled up in case you needed an extra layer."
"Hm?" You stared at him as he held out his sleeve. "I even put extra perfume on for you. See?"
You tried ignoring the sudden race of your heart beat as he pressed the sleeve into your nose trapping warmth so the redness could go down. He was treating you how he treats Sia and Yuna. That means he sees you as a close friend, right? You moved his arm away holding him by the sleeve, "Smells expensive."
He smiled as he held you back from crossing the street unaware of the car coming by, "What would you do without me?"
Once you two were on the bus he sat down next to you keeping you against the window, "So what did your brother want?" You asked turning to look at him better. From behind you a couple girls were being a little too loud with their comments about Jungkook's looks and that made you smile trying to hold back a laugh.
"Oh, he wanted to know if I'd be attending family dinner this Friday," His teeth played with his lip ring as he looked you over.
Your brows furrowed, "He was blowing up your phone for that?"
"I guess, knowing my father he probably told my brother to make sure I go," Jungkook said honestly. You were quiet for a moment leading him to believe he might be over sharing. He knew there was nothing you could really respond with and that made him nervous. He doesn't share a lot about himself much less his family and he probably threw you off. You smiled, "If you eat something really good you better get me something from there."
He laughed a little catching the light hearted tone, "I'll smuggle something in my pocket."
"Ew no, then my food's gonna taste like expensive perfume," you said making him push you playfully toward the window.
       Jungkook didn't even try and act interested in anything that happened over dinner the following Friday. With his phone under the table he was too busy reading messages in the group chat along with having an entirely separate conversation with you.
"Jungkook, Jisoo was saying something, I'm not sure if you heard," his mother had said. They were having dinner in a private room on the top floor of a hotel. It was a large circular table with his parents, his older brother and his fiancé, him, and for some reason Jisoo and her mother.
He looked up clearly bored with the dinner, "Mind repeating that?"
It's not that he completely hated Jisoo it's just that he knew she was in genuine. He's known her for a long time and she's not the saint she acts like in front of his parents. She wants to be in their good graces and Jungkook didn't like that. He didn't like being forced to spend time with someone he doesn't care for. She's a snob and he's seen the way she treats certain people in her life. She's beautiful, sure but he doesn't like her personality.
"Who has you so focused on your phone?" His father asked in clear annoyance that Jungkook mirrored. Well, currently he was talking to only you. "Y/n."
"Who?" JungHyun asked. Jungkook shrugged, "A friend."
"Well if she's anything like the other two always following you around, then I'm sure you can find better company," his mother said making Jungkook huff. "You don't even know her."
Ignoring him, his mother turned to Jisoo and her mother, "I have no doubt in my mind his new friend is only after him for money. He loves to take on charity cases. I try and tell him time and time that he needs to be careful over who he keeps close."
Jungkook couldn't stop the grind of his teeth. His mother had a tendency to act like this, make up her own assumptions and completely disregard her children and their wants. He didn't mind being bashed on, but there was no way he'd allow his friends to be bashed on too. Suddenly, he pushed his chair out raising to his feet. Everyone turned to him, "What are you doing?"
"I'm leaving," Jungkook said firmly as he looked at his parents in particular. His hyung shook his head in disapproval, "Jungkoo—"
"I'm not going to sit here and listen to her make her own assumptions about Y/n," Jungkook said honestly, a little surprised by his own words, "She doesn't even know about any of this. Unlike some people, money isn't everything."
His father made a sound similar to a snicker, "Jungkook, sit down. You're being disrespectful and I won't allow it. We have invited Jisoo and her mother to dinner and I won't let you ruin it."
"Jungkook, aren't you hungry?" Jisoo asked suddenly, "I'm sure they're only looking out for your best interest. Why don't we finish up dinner."
He scoffed, "You think you know them better than I do? They don't care about my best interest, they care about theirs."
"I'm sorry mother but I'm not going to let you insult my friends and force me to hang out with people I don't care for," he was rude. He knows it, but something about his mother's comments about you drove him mad. To top it off, Jisoo has the nerve to butt in and agree with his mom. As if either one of them knew his friends or you. If they got to know you they'd know you're hard working. You're humble and admiring. He's the one who always feels self conscious because you were clearly more independent than he was. But his mom has the nerve to say you're only his friend because of his money. When you didn't even know he was a chaebol!
He didn't give them much time to respond when he was already out the door. He was surprised with himself. He hasn't felt this defensive of his friends since he was a kid but then you came along. He clearly cares about you. But why does it feel so different from how he feels about Sia and Yuna?
They're the ones who got him through his family problems but you're the one he's trying to be closer with to ease his anxiety. Wait, stop, you're friends. You've said it before, you don't have time for much else. He doesn't need to scare you off with how clingy and touchy he can be when he's into someone.
Pause. Is he into you? Is that what this is all about? Can everyone see it but him? Is that why everyone was extra hostile tonight? He can't remember the last time he liked someone. He tries to steer clear of relationships because of his family and if he ever has flings they're lowkey. The second his mother started bashing on his friends, you in particular, he couldn't take it anymore. Usually, he's able to sit there and ignore them but this was different. They didn't even know you. How could he not get upset and defensive? Would Yuna and Sia be mad if he was into you? Oh God, he's crazy into you.
On Monday you got to campus later than usual, you were running late and already having a hectic morning. When you got to class, the lecture hall was practically filled aside from one spot near your friends and it had Jungkook's backpack on it.
"We saved you a seat," Sia exclaimed once you made it through the filled row. You smiled at her looking down to Jungkook as he slid his backpack off it pulling it down for you to sit.
"Hey," he said softly. His elbows had been pressed against the table with his hands in fists over his mouth almost shyly as he looked at you with sparkly eyes. You smiled, "Hey."
On his notebook was the purple mechanical pencil that matched your own. You pointed it out, "I like your pencil."
"I like you—r, yours too," he stuttered out immediately dropping his head in embarrassment. Snap out of it, Jungkook, you're friends. Why is it that all of a sudden he's acknowledged his feelings for you? Now he's nervous around you for no reason. Sia looked over at you, "Do you work today?"
"No, I switched shifts for a coworker. I work tomorrow," you told her already taking your things out, "Why?"
"I was gonna come visit you after I got off," she said with a sigh, "I was really craving some scones. Do you still wanna go?"
"It's awkward going to work when I'm not scheduled," you said with a little laugh, "And some of my friends are coming down for dinner."
Yuna hit Sia's arm playfully, "I said I'd go with you. Jungkook? Are you craving any of that carrot cake?"
"Not today," Jungkook nipping at his bottom lip nervously. Your friends were coming down to visit and he wondered if that meant that guy, Taehyung.
The topic was dropped and you tried focusing on the class and not Jungkook. You didn't want to stare at him like a creep but you noticed something was off about him. After class when the other two were too distracted to notice, Jungkook pulled you to the side. His hand was on your wrist keeping you in front of him and it wasn't until you looked down at the hold that he let go shyly.
"Should I pick you up from work tomorrow? Do you close?" He asked. You gave him a warm smile, "I do close but you don't have to pick me up. It's probably a hassle for you."
"I don't mind."
You nodded, "Alright, I'll bring your hoodie to you."
"You don't have t—bye!" He rushed when you started heading out the class waving goodbye to him and the others. With a deep, dejected sigh he turned back to the other two, surprised when he caught them staring at him clearly amused. Yuna spoke first, "Well, aren't you desperate?"
"He can't hide his feelings even if he wanted to," Sia laughed as they began walking out. Fuck, he knew they'd catch on fast.
In the evening when you went out for dinner with your friends you kept thinking about Jungkook. Why was he so cute today? You've never seen him act shy or nervous and yet today he was. You're not sure why but it was surprisingly cute. Seeing a guy who looked as intimidating as him act shy.
"Look at Y/n, she's got new friends and doesn't care about us anymore," your friend Yoongi joked after dinner. You were all sitting at the table still, trying to reel back down from how full you all felt.
"Honestly," Taehyung agreed looking over to you, "What are you thinking about?"
"My midterm project," you lied even though you did actually have to decide what it was going to be. You already bought a canvas and the right brushes but you're still iffy on the idea.
jungkook: want to watch a movie on friday after ur off
jungkook: or will u be too busy
you: what kind of movie
jungkook: what do u like
you: horror
jungkook: horror it is :)
jungkook: I'll buy the tix
you: are sia and yuna coming?
jungkook: they can if u want
you: it's ok
you: sometimes I like it when it's just kenskakamkas
"Hey!" You reached for your phone as Jin snatched it from you. Jin pressed his palm into your face to keep you away, "Y/n's too busy planning a date."
Your face reddened, "It's not a date. We're just friends."
Jin rolled his eyes, "Oh really?" He handed the phone back and you read the final text.
jungkook: ?
jungkook: it's a date then
"There," Jungkook said with a sigh as he showed his phone to the girls. Sia cheered, "Atta boy, Kook. I knew something was up with you the second you met Y/n."
"Same, he's like a puppy now just trailing after her. Are you forgetting us?"
On Friday, Jungkook was in front of your work standing next to a Mercedes Benz that made your brows furrow, "This is your car?"
"Uh yeah," Jungkook cleared his throat nervously once you were in, "I don't really use it since I live close to campus and parking is a pain."
"Expensive perfume. Expensive clothes. Expensive car. Are you secretly a chaebol?" You asked jokingly but his silence made the smile wipe off your face. But he had tattoos and piercings and he seemed so care free. Well, except the time he talked about his family. Why didn't you connect the dots? He looked slightly uncomfortable now as if you said something he didn't like so you tried to change the subject.
"So what movie are we watching?" You asked buckling yourself in, "I'll buy snacks since you got the tickets."
He shook his head releasing a breath he didn't know he had been holding, "Can't I treat you to this? You never answered when I said it was a date. Did you think I was kidding?"
"Wow Kook, I didn't realize you'd be so forward," you teased but he seemed not to be as playful tonight, more nervous than everything else.
"Uh, is that okay? That it's a date or... you know. I was just thinks because I, uh, I mean I like talking to you and-"
"Why wouldn't it be okay?" You asked cutting his rambling off. He looked over to you as he drove which only made you smile. When you got to the concessions you still offered to pay but he didn't let you. He ordered one of everything before the two of you went to the right theatre.
"If you're scared don't worry, I'll protect you," he said playfully now as he led you to your seats. You rolled your eyes, "I think you'll be more scared than me."
"Will you hold me if I'm scared?" He smirked, his mood improving from earlier, nerves going back down so he didn't feel as anxious. You nodded going along with the light flirting, "Are you always this cheesy?"
"Not usually, is it bad?" He asked digging into the popcorn before lifting it to you so you could eat from his hand making you laugh a little. You leaned into him, "You're wearing the perfume again."
"Just for you," he said reaching into his pocket for a small roller of the same perfume holding his hand out until you handed him your hand. He twisted it open before rolling the scent onto your hand, "Now we'll both be wearing it."
"Wow, I've never worn YSL perfume," you said honestly in short whispers since the movie started. He smiled a little, it was like this was your signature scent. Like for the both of you now. He'll make sure to get you some since you like it so much.
After the movie the two of you had a good discussion on the movie but nothing else. Clearly there were other stuff to talk about but you both were trying to keep it from getting awkward. You were alone in his car but you were still nervous to speak up, "I had fun, did you?”
"Of course," he smiled warmly as he reached out a hand to touch yours, "I know this might seem too forward but I’m really liking getting to know you more. At first I know I was pretty stand offish, it just takes me a while to open up to people. "
"Yeah, I figured but if it means anything, I’m glad I’m getting to know you more too," you answered letting your hands touch more by pressing yours into his. He smiled at that, "That's good."
"I know you’re busy a lot but what do you say about having more of these little dates?" Jungkook asked as he pulled up to your apartment. You didn’t anything as you began unbuckling your seat belt. You were thinking, obviously you had an attraction toward him but you had no clue he felt the same. On top of that, he’s suddenly done a big shift from how cold he used to be to how warm he’s been lately. After your silence became too much for him, he was calling out to you again, "Y/n?"
“Yes?” You responded back. He gave a soft smile, “If you want to just be friends… I won’t be upset. I mean I will but I also understand.”
“I don’t want to just be friends,” you said honestly. You liked hanging out with Jungkook too much. You didn’t notice it at first but maybe you just liked him too much. His lip was pulled between his teeth and you couldn't help but look down at them. He wanted to kiss you so damn bad. One hand was on the steering wheel and before he knew it the other was coming up to cup your jaw. Instantly you were leaning closer as he craned his neck toward you and then it happened.
Your lips met, barely brushing against each others and it had both of you inching back but his hand never left your face. Should the two of you just go for it? You've only known him for a few weeks but clearly there was something going on between you two? Even if he had been cold toward you that was only in the beginning. It happened again, this time more purposeful.
His lips pressed against yours parting them slightly and you were melting into the touch. Your tongue swiped against his lip ring making him release a deep breath through his nose and just as he was ready to pull you into him you jumped.
On your lap was your cellphone, it was vibrating with Taehyung's contact photo displayed on the screen. You pulled away looking down at the phone and Jungkook did the same, catching his breath for a moment.
"Hey," you said breathlessly, awkwardness beginning to set in between you two. Taehyung was already talking your ear off about something and you knew there was no reason to stay in Jungkook's car.
"I'll get going," you told him shyly and he nodded, "Text me when you're inside. Goodnight."
"Night."
Neither one of you were able to process the kiss until you were in the comfort of your own homes alone with your thoughts. What happened tonight?
It went on like this for weeks. It was hard to find time alone together with midterms, work, and school. Not to mention. You had to balance hanging out with your new friends, school work, and hanging out with your old friends. So far, you and Jungkook had only made out [a few times] but that’s it. Usually when you have free time Sia and Yuna want it all so then you end up hanging out as four.
You have yet to put an actual label on what you have with Jungkook but clearly there’s something there that everyone can see. For instance, he’s definitely gotten clingier to you. It’s comical actually, this big, buff, tatted guy making pouty faces at you when you don’t pay attention to him. Or forcing Yuna to scoot over so he could sit next to you. Always looking annoyed when some guy asks you a question. He was intimidating and yet so soft with you.
“You guys are so gross, you make me sick!” Sia gagged loudly. It was a Sunday and you were over at Jungkook’s having some movie marathon. Or at least trying to but it’s really just been all of you talking. Sia was currently grossed out by the fact that you and Jungkook started having a separate conversation that ended with a kiss on the tip of your throat.
“God I hate couples, makes me want to puke,” Yuna sighed making you look over to her with confusion. She only rolled her eyes playfully, “Don’t give me that look. You two are a couple and don’t deny it.”
Jungkook turned to look at you but neither one of you said anything for a moment. Is that really how you’ll announce it? He smiled leaning in to kiss your forehead, “We’re not denying it, right?”
“I’m leaving, I’m craving some chicken and you two are making me lose my appetite. God I hate being single,” Sia groaned as she got to her feet. Yuna was quick to follow in agreement, “For real. Y/n set us up with some of your hot friends.”
“Bye! Love you two! Use protecti—“ Yuna closed the door before Sia could say anything else and you couldn’t help but laugh. Jungkook laughed with you as he got to his feet, “They’re annoying.”
Honestly this is the first time in a while that you’ve had a full day to yourself with no schoolwork or regular work. Now that the girls were gone you were hoping to spend more time with Jungkook. Frankly you’ve been thinking about going further and the only reason you haven’t expressed it is because you know Jungkook. He’s probably waiting for you to make the move first because he feels like he rushes you, which he doesn’t.
“What?” He asked as he came back from carrying empty chip bags and soda cans to the trash. He looked down at you with a smile when he caught you staring. You lifted your arms up as if reaching for him and it made him laugh softly making his way over to you. You wrapped your arms around his neck as his knees pressed into the cushion between your legs, “Can I get a kiss?”
“As many as you want,” he leaned down enough to capture your lips with his, immediately melting into your arms as you made yourself sit up to give him more room. He was getting used to this now, kissing you on your lips, getting close to you but he obviously wanted more. He’s only keeping himself at bay because he knows how tired you are and he doesn’t want to push you.
Of course he didn’t imagine you to be in the same boat. It was only when your hands began to play with the waist band of his sweats to lift his shirt up a little did his body react. A small groan echoing down your throat that came from him due to your sudden forwardness. His lips didn’t leave yours as he started bunching his t-shirt up feeling your cold hands run along his abdomen muscles before having to sit back so he could pull over his head. The second it was off he was back on you, heads turning in opposite directions trying to deepen the kiss, his tongue tracing against yours.
His hands cupped your jaw, brows scrunched together in concentration just wanting to swallow you whole.
Somehow, he got you to pull your legs up on the couch, so he could kneel between them but it wasn’t comfortable and before you knew his hands were gripped your waist hard. He lifted you up, never giving you a chance to break away from the kiss, as he held you up before flipping you. You ended up straddling Jungkook’s hips with the way he twisted you around. With this new position you were able to press down on his crotch more, and that elicited a deep-throated moan from him. Smirking against the kiss, your hands rested on his chest, nails digging into the solid muscle found there. He was more undressed than you were and he needed to change that but your soft touch on his bare torso was heaven sent.
By now your breathing became labored and you could feel the growing wetness between your legs. It was automatic, your hips grinding down and having your denim-clothed crotch make contact with Jungkook’s growing hardness. The fabric of his sweats only served to turn him on, hands gripping your hips guiding your movement letting his hands trail even lower.
The only time they raised from your backside was to finally inch your shirt off wanting any layer between you two off. With deft fingers, he was quickly yanking the ends of your shirt up, sliding the material over your head while still trying to kiss you. You pulled away with a small laugh at his eagerness giving him the chance to take it off you. You were sitting straight as he looked at you with those sparkly eyes, hands on your waist looking you up and down sitting on his lap.
“You’re so pretty,” his hands flitted across your skin. You automatically tucked your stomach in, feeling self conscious suddenly. It wasn’t even dark out, the sun still shone through his windows and here you were shirtless with Jungkook eyeing you. He bit his lip, “All of you Y/n.”
His hands held firmly onto your hips, clasping tightly before slowly letting his palms slide across your lower back. His arms ended up wrapping around your waist and you found yourself face to face with him, your foreheads touching. Why did this feel so right?
“I like you so much, Y/N,” he pecked your lips lightly. You smiled, “I think you’re pretty too. And I like you so much too.”
His head lowered, lips connecting with your collarbone and peppering it with affectionate kisses. Your lips fell apart as your hands wrapped around the back of his neck keeping him put where he showered you in kisses.
His kisses led down to the valley between your covered breasts, hands coming around to press against the fabric of your bra. He looked up to you again as he move to kiss your lips as his hands began sneaking up your back and fingers quickly undoing the clasp of your bra.
“Are you always so soft?” he whispered as the straps fell off your shoulders. He slid them down your arms and you smiled when you flicked it off with your wrist, “Usually.” His eyebrows shot up at your response making him laugh a little before focusing his attention back to your exposed chest.
Without another word, Jungkook leaned closer and began to press open-mouth kisses to your chest. His hands snuck under your chest sliding his palms up until he was dipping a breast in each hand. You gasped lightly, playing with the ends of the hair on the back of his neck. He was being playful, squeezing lightly here and there, going lower with each peck until he got to the nipple. His thumb flicked at the hardening nipple, his tongue doing the same with the other one. You gasped, your spine arching and pressing your chest further closer to his touch. How was he so damn gentle and sweet with his movements? When you look at him you can’t help but feel intimidated. Yet he holds you with such tenderness and care and it felt soft the way you two talked throughout this so far.
You couldn’t help but to jerk your hips, seeking out the friction that would bring you release when his tongue swirled around your bud. At this, you pressed down onto Jungkook’s erection and he became painfully aware of it once again. His lips were swollen and wet when they pulled away from your breasts, your skin prickling when the air hit the moisture that he had left behind on your skin. He was surprised by the tug on his hair angling his neck back before you crashed your lips onto his going straight for a deepened kiss that had him moaning into your mouth. His hands were still playing with your tits, pinching and your erect nipples.
“Jungkook,” you said between kisses, hands moving to his shoulder for more support to guide your hips over him using his gasps for air as signs to see what he’d like.
“Alright,” he said not needing to hear more from you, already knowing what you wanted. He wanted to do more for your body but that would require him to be a little rougher and he didn’t want that for your first time. Not that you’d mind having him use you however he pleased but he was clearly being considerate of what you’d be open to try. He lifted you off his lap and you got the hint moving to your knees, providing enough space for him to pull the front of his sweats loose and quickly slide them down his legs, along with his underwear. His cock hit his stomach with a thud as he kicked away his clothes.
Before he could move you back down, you were leaning forward, lips attacking his neck just under his jaw bone creating a soft suction on his skin that had his breathing hitching at the action. His hands were hovering over your butt as you moved further down his lap to palm at his erection. You started slow, a soft glide down the length of his cock with a small twist of your wrist around his head, moving some of his foreskin back. His eyes shut tightly and the groan that you elicited from him made you smile against his neck. You left soft little kisses as you stroked him, spreading the precum that dribbled out of his slit down the head of his cock. Everytime you applied more pressure, more came out until you were able to cover his length with it.
“Fucking hell,” he licked his dried lips, head thrown back against the couch as his hips met your hands, quickening the pace, “You’re going to make me cum before I get to be inside you,” he stopped you, gripping your wrist tightly, “I need a condom.”
You climbed off him watching him leave to his room, surprisingly a nice image seeing his naked, toned and tatted body. When he came back his eyes caught sight of his phone’s screen lighting up and passing by he saw a text from the girls but he couldn’t think right now. All he could focus on was the way you shimmied your jeans off watching the snug fit over your hips. You kicked them off and before you do your underwear next, Jungkook was pushing you to the couch.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” he cursed feeling bad for the way he threw you back with more force than he would’ve liked. You brushed it off, “It’s okay. You can push me.”
It made him chuckle but if definitely was a nice thing to know. He pulled your panties down for you as you watched him tear into the condom. He picked you up again so that he could sit and place your over his lap. Jungkook cupped your jaw, his smile still on his lips as he kissed yours, sweetly and slowly. His tongue licked inside your mouth, exploring slowly as he pressed you closer to his chest feeling the dip on where your tits were and feeling your hardened nipples had him grunting in approval.
You felt his hard length press against your hip, you grasped his length and aligned it with your wet slit. His hand went over your hip watching in anticipation for when you’d let him slip inside you. His brows scrunched together as his lips parting making his face contort in pleasure as you slowly sank down taking his length inside you.
You knew this guy was attractive from his looks to his personality and yet right now that you took his cock inside you, he never looked hotter. He bit his bottom lip and held on tightly to your hips when you sank enough to finally sit on his lap and pushed your knees into the couch to raise your hips. He groaned into your neck, “Oh fuck, you’re so tight.”
Jungkook’s hands landed on your hips, grasping tightly as he began to quicken your movements, raising your hips a little more whenever you lifted them only to drop them back down hard. His head was on your shoulder staring down her back to the way his fingers dug into your was making you ride him deep and hard. You squeezed your walls around him, angling yourself to where you knew that the head of his cock would hit your sweet spot just right. You licked your lips leaning into him more rested your arms on his shoulders, barely able to form a full sentence as you moaned, “So big, fuck.”
One of his hands reached up, took a breast in hand and began to firmly fondle it, thumb and forefinger pulling at the nipple making your hips begin to circle in a steady rhythm trying to get him to fuck all your pleasure spots from your clit to your g-spot.
“Kiss me,” he moaned looking up at you as his thumb rubbed over your clit groaning in pleasure, “Fuck, I’m gon—ngh, gonna cum.”
“Cum for me, fucking cum for me,” he moved you faster, his hips meeting yours as they began to gyrate lifting off the couch.
“I’m gonna cum, Jungkook,” You moaned his name as you reached your peak, walls squeezing around his thick cock, hands flat on his chest to take some of the pressure off your shaking legs as you came. His hands were pinching your thighs with a loud cry in bliss, filling the condom with his load, kissing your shoulder softly. Still, he thrusted gently trying to ease himself out so he wouldn’t just drag himself out quickly and potentially cause you any pain.
You laughed softly, bringing your hips up until his cock had completely pulled out of you carefully. He made space for you, his back pressing to back cushion of the sofa as you both faced each other, laughing breathless alongside you.
He looked over to you, head rolling to the side to face you better. Jungkook release soft pants trying to catch his breath bringing his hand up to the back of your head. He brought you close to him pressing a kiss in your hair, “You okay?”
“Yes,” you said moving to stand up, “But I need to use the bathroom.”
He let you go taking your clothes with you and he sat back trying to clean himself up too. He cleaned up with everything in time to catch you coming back out fully dressed. You gave each other shy smiles as you turned to head back in the living room unsure of what to do with yourselves. When he came back to you, he’d just gotten onto the couch when his phone was lighting up.
The group chat appearing on his screen but he ignored it. He already knew it was Sia and Yuna probably to ask them to hang out again. It’s crazy how they were the ones to call them out as a couple when neither of you could bring yourselves to admit it.
Your eyes met and he broke out into a smile, “What are you thinking?”
“I’m hungry,” you said with a little laugh that had him laughing too. Your hand was on the cushion and he reached for it taking it in his own hand. He lifted a brow, “What do you want to eat?”
“Pizza,” that made him roll his eyes playfully speaking with a smile. “We had that yesterday but we can get it. Do you want to order or eat out?”
“Order,” you said with a shrug as his shoulder pressed against yours. He nodded taking his phone out ready to order the food when he finally got a good look at the texts.
sia: I forgot my wallet at ur place
sia: helllllloooooo
sia: let me up
sia: I know y’all are there
sia: ew wait
sia: u suck
He laughed as he read over her last text that she’d be back tomorrow. She must’ve realized what distract you two so much because she left him alone after that.
He had another text from his brother apologizing for not sticking up for him at dinner the other night.
Jungkook will admit he was still upset over that, mostly that they’d all judge you before even getting to know you. He liked you not whoever his parents wanted him to be with and nothing would make him change his mind.
Nothing makes him happier than the fact you transferred to his school earlier this semester.
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::.
tag list: @poopiedookieballz [lol the name] @ughitsvicky @prettyvjrd-blog @screamertannie @kimyishin
like Can we talk about looks like they could kill you, is acc a tsundere cinnamon roll?
that would be Jungkook here
I decided to do something sweet bc lately my fics for Jungkook have been having a lot of angst
and omg I had time three different stories going on for this post and I just couldn’t focus until this week lol
5K notes · View notes
fridaypls · 28 days
Text
Power, Possession, and Personal Autonomy:
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Gif Analyzing Araj and Astarion's First Encounter
Jumping in; she's a bitch? For a Lolth-aligned drow from a matriarchal-and-value-based society, he's a male outsider already, as well as a spawn. Factor in her vampire fetish and nasty BetterThanYou attitude, their interaction was doomed from first glare.
She clocks what he is right away, commenting to Tav, "Please, you think someone in my line of work wouldn't recognize a vampire spawn when they see one?"
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A moment for his "what the fuck, bitch?" face before we go on...
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Alright back to Araj.
She circles right back around to Astarion as soon as she's finished getting what she wants out of Tav. "Although, perhaps there's one more thing we could discuss... you friend? He's a vampire, no? Or one of their spawn, at least."
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Sorry, just a quick cut to Best Boy looking at her with such thinly veiled disgust. The little way he just barely purses his lips irritably at her - just a lovely extra touch on a scene already so well done.
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He tolerated her talking about him in front of him once already in silence, letting you handle it; now she's referred to him outright and she clearly wants something from him. And she's referenced what he is twice now - for a man who seems to genuinely believe he's got his entire camp fooled early on, it's likely less than a fun experience to have that particular hidden facet of himself readily identified by a stranger.
He send her a ''I'm right here, you know” message in the form of a whole lotta face and a very polite, "Don't worry, we're all friends under the Absolute. I won't bite." that holds a lot more depth than the fairly calm words indicate in surface level.
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Let's get a bit closer - as close as it's safe to get to an angry vampire under these circumstances.
First, the lean. When he wants to make a point, he leans in - he gives her that lean here, paired with some delightfully contemptuous side-eye. Whether that's trying to keep his nose averted or refusing to look at her head on for the disrespect, he's sending a very nice fuck you.
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"...all friends under the Absolute..." while actively shaking his head no on the word friends. I love the subtle ways he makes his point.
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Pulling straight out of the very polite smile-and-head-shake-no, he throws subtlety to the wind for a moment and gives her a face we know well. Gone is the faux courtesy, replaced with a beautifully angry sneer.
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"...I won't bite." His words said one thing, but everything else delivers a beautifully poised threat.
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...and she is entirely unfazed, firing back smoothing with "Oh, I'd prefer it if you did," before turning to Tav to ask "I assume he belongs to you?"
He sent a message; she's rejecting it.
"...friends under the Absolute..." vs "I assume he belongs to you?" Up to this point, we've seen a fair amount of deference granted to True Souls by Absolute worshipers. In her eyes, they are not equals under the absolute. He has no autonomy in her eyes, only purpose.
"...I won't bite." vs "I'd prefer if you did." and she immediately looks to Tav to arrange it. Defanging his threat with invitation and, what's more, active solicitation. Treating him like little more than a pet - it almost reminds me of how I saw someone unkind try to treat a barking lapdog once.
Tav: "He's his own person."
Astarion, understandably, is a bit busy reacting with very valid disgust and shock. "I'm sorry... you want to be bitten?"
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Closer and slower; just the beautiful progression from surprise to disgust to shocked disdain to what the fuck is wrong with you?? on the "want to be bitten?" with his little head shake of lol bitch no and also ew and what the fuck??
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Araj ignores that as well, commenting to Tav instead on how adorable it is that you believe "...he's his own person." It's deliberately degrading and derogatory before she attempts to buy his cooperation. Before we get into the rude-ass way she asks his name, spare a moment for this mean girls glance at someone else in the party??
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Seriously, who did she fire that glare at?? Why??
Okay, I'm focused again. Back to rude Araj and her shit-covered olive-branch. First, she attempts to 'make nice' - watch her shift her face after she completes the sentence. Like an afterthought.
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"Do you have a name, spawn?" Not 'what is your name' - but do you have a name, spawn?
While she smiles like she's extended an olive branch, it's covered in caca. He is a thing to her; things do not generally have names, but 'you seem to think you're more than a thing, so I'll play along.'
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So how does Astarion respond?
He answers, immediately, and then puts up his hands in defense before changing his dominant hand into a wait just a second gesture as he recoils away from her. Without moving his feet, he gets as far away from her as he can get in the space without literally bending over backwards.
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Let's watch again, slower. His response to being asked his name is so reflexive. We've seen it elsewhere, the charming smile, the little bow and graceful spread hands with a flourish. Two hundred years of muscle memory taking over for a split second, despite how fucking rude she's been to him.
Because he's used to it.
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He is visibly repulsed and yet, she tries to buy his cooperation, sensing that manipulate or orders are not going to play well here.
Whether self-centered narcissism or plot exposition, Araj gives us a very creepy bit of dialogue about what she wants from him and why. In essence, she’s dreamt of being turned into a vampire since she was a little girl; daydreaming aloud of Astarion’s literal waking nightmare. Some more of her dialogue;
"To feel your life’s blood slipping away? To dance on the edge between life and death? Yes, I want it. I’ll even compensate you - a potion of legendary power that forever increases the strength of the one who consumes."
"I'll even compensate you" - read: 'to you, a thing who does not deserve consideration in this matter, I will graciously offer a reward to entice you.'
She offers him a powerful potion that is "...not for sale, but yours if you bite me." The succession of expressions on her face are incredible. The way she tilts her head back and sneers almost meaningfully as she makes the offer. I don't know if she's returning his earlier sneer to sender or simply feels her trap has closed, but I don't like her face.
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And we're so proud of our boy, he says no. "I will have to decline." He doesn't apologize, doesn't offer an excuse, he just says no.
Remember this later when you need to say no. Astarion says 'no' is a complete answer.
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There will always be pricks like Araj, however, who disagree. "How disappointing." Scorn, distaste. A bit of have it your way, then. The way a mechanic looks at a stubborn bolt they're about to take a torch to because they don't technically need it to cooperate to get the job done.
It's the way one looks at a thing they're about to bend to their will.
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Then, she turns to Tav with a demand. "Can't you talk some sense into your obstinate charge?"
Again, the denial of his autonomy, blatantly asking you to override his free will - let's remember, this is something that doesn't benefit her in any way, she's simply going to enjoy it. Because she's fetishized the experience from a young age.
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Tav: "I’m surprised, Astarion, I thought you’d jump at a chance like this."
Astarion immediately perceives this as an order, simply a gentle way of phrasing one. He's used to his will being overridden - but he trusts you enough to push back.
"I'm sorry, but could you excuse us for a minute?"
That's a beautiful, "let me put you on hold" in perfect customer service voice. Flawless.
Further, he's not antagonizing her any further in case he's about to be ordered to bite her against his will.
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HIS FACE AS HE TURNS. Singularly unimpressed.
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Then he confronts you, both pleading and upset; "Are you serious? Are you actually asking me to do this? Trading me for some potion?"
He's been traded for plenty of things in the past and none of them by his own will or for his benefit. But that was Cazador and this is you - and you, he will push back against. It's a good thing.
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Then, it shifts to anger that would absolutely be justified if you were actually asking him to do this - instead of Larian baiting you into a crucial character-arc-development misunderstanding with a vague prompt. We love them.
LOOK AT THE PLEADING SHIFT TO ANGER ^
I think it's important, the way he's willing to push back against you for his autonomy. That he knows that this is wrong to ask of him, even if he hasn’t realized Tav doesn’t know exactly what’s happening yet.
Next, Astarion offers us and Tav an insight into the situation. ”Because there’s something wrong with her blood! I can smell it from here and it’s - rank!”
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That disgusted look back in her direction as he tells you "It's rank."
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Tav: “What do you mean? What’s wrong with her blood?” 
”I can’t say, it just smells wrong. Unnatural. Drinking it wouldn’t kill me, but it would not be pleasant.” please don't make me do this.
“I don’t have all day, True Soul.” Araj has all day, she's being pushy to claw a yes out of you, like a predatory sales person.
Tav: “Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.”
And Astarion's response is... surprised. A little confused. “Alright. Thank you.”
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And then he turns back to Araj to deliver his final fuck off for this encounter. “It’s still a no, I’m afraid.”
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“How very disappointing.” And Araj finally lets it go... for now. I don't have room in the gif count to show her face here, I'm sorry. But we CAN go back for Astarion's second, much more heartful thank you.
“Thank you… I appreciated that.”
Here it is with a side by side of the first thank you (left) and the second one (right)
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The first thank you is surprised and a bit insincere in it's uncertainty, tainted by his surprise at the blase "don't do anything you don't want, bud," support of his autonomy. The second is beautifully genuine.
The whole interaction transcends mere defiance; it's a powerful act of liberation.
For Astarion, this moment is not just about saying no to a demand but about reclaiming his identity and freedom, underscored by Tav's steadfast support. It's a testament to their growing bond and a beacon of hope in a world that often seeks to diminish individual will.
Anyway, thanks for coming to my gif TED talk, this took at least 3 hours and I hope you found something new to enjoy in this scene!
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comicaurora · 9 months
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One thing I noticed is ever since MAWSM came out is how people in discussions have been decreasingly calling Clark "Superman" and now almost exclusively refer to him with his real name. Yeah, of course. He is Clark first and foremost. The farmboy from Smallville, Kansas; reporter at the Daily Planet. Superman is an extension of Clark. He's not like the other dude whose hero persona is his core identity. He's just a normal guy at heart who happens to be indestructible. He's just... Clark.
I think it's because until My Adventures With Superman, his primary cartoon presence was in series that were overtly superhero shows with threat-of-the-week formats, where Clark's life was the two-minute framing sequence around Superman getting to do the good stuff. Even the original Fleischer superman cartoon was ten-minute shorts that couldn't afford to go slice-of-life when they could be animating Superman punching a hole in a jet.
There have been little moments that hinted at this in other series - the Justice League episode Comfort and Joy springs to mind, being one of the only downtime episodes the team gets, where J'onn sees Clark back home on the farm with Ma and Pa Kent and is surprised at how relaxed and genuine he is when he isn't "working", aka "being superman." But for the most part Clark doesn't get that kind of personal focus, and the seasons that center on him are entirely about Superman's villains and the risk of Superman becoming a despot like his Justice Lord counterpart.
Live-action shows have been a little better about this, if only because of the SFX requirements of superman meaning it's cheaper and simpler to lean into Hometown Hero Clark Kent, exemplified in the series Smallville, which had an actual development policy that Clark was never allowed to put on the cape or costume. It started as teen drama where the protagonist just happened to have superpowers and a weird allergy to green rocks, and for a while it even had a similar gimmick to MAWS, where every other episode he developed a new power or discovered a new trait of his physiology that the audience was already expected to know about. But the problem there is that the audience also has the biggest point of dramatic irony hanging over their heads for the entire show - we know Clark's destiny is to become Superman. So while the show is ABOUT Clark, there's this tonal undercurrent that most of the messy things that make him Clark are things he'll eventually outgrow.
I think what's making My Adventures With Superman work is that it's (a) deeply sincere and (b) centered on the thesis that Clark is an emotional, vulnerable person AND ALSO a flying invulnerable brick with laser eyes, and his stress over his powers isn't just "aw it's tough to be a god now put on the tights already" but it's the very reasonable "I don't know why I'm like this, I don't understand what it means or if it's dangerous, I can't stop breaking the things I touch but I don't want to be alone."
Clark's isolation has always been something other characters muse about privately (usually Batman) or a bit of fridge logic he turns into a cool boast (the World of Cardboard speech reframing every fight he's ever been in by telling the audience he is 100% pulling his punches ALL THE TIME) but to my knowledge it's never been played for this deeply impactful and HIGHLY resonant "there is Something Wrong With Me that I don't have a name for but I will regardless find a way to live with myself and the people I love."
When Superman is framed as Clark's inevitable destiny, we lose sight of the fact that Clark is, by necessity, the kind of person who would create Superman.
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 5 months
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Seven Days to Fall Again | Monday | Jeon Jungkook
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Inspired by the MV "Seven" by Jung Kook ft. Latto (obvi lol) Summary: Dinner and a Breakup. You're ready to end things but Jungkook asks for a second chance, not willing to let you go. Paring: Reader x Jungkook (almost exes to lovers lol) Word Count: 3.4k Warnings: No real warnings honestly just an argument. Start from the beginning
I watch from outside the restaurant window, seeing as he has already been seated and has ordered his favorite wine along with what I can assume is mine right across from his. 'You got this. It's better for the both of us if we just end things here and go our separate ways' I coach myself, hoping to gain some sense of resolve to help carry me through this dinner and do what I've been meaning to do for a while now.
As soon as I grab the handle I see that I've finally caught his eye and he stands up waiting patiently for me to come sit down with him. "There you are" he says with a warm smile and goes to give me a quick kiss to which I turn away a bit, making his lips ultimately land on my cheek. He pull away, giving me a questioning look and I make quick excuses, not wanting to start a fight right away. 
"Lipgloss, sorry. I know you don't like the feeling of it on your lips after kissing me" I say giving his as genuine of a smile as I can muster up, given the circumstances. "I don't really mind it," he says giving me a kiss on my forehead this time instead, "but thank you for telling me anyways" he says with his hands on my cheeks looking at me lovingly, placing a quick pec on my lips before he leads me over to my chair and pulls it out for me to sit down. 
"I thought you had forgotten about me" he teases while he walks back around to sit back down. "Traffic was horrible and I lost track of time" I say taking a quick swig of my wine, praying the alcohol hits my system as fast as possible. Needing what they always refer to as 'liquid courage' to help take the edge off. "Slow down love, let's get some food in you before you start on that" he says, his brows pinched together in confusion. Clearly puzzled as to what might be causing this sudden change in character.
"I just forgot how much I love this wine" I say taking another big gulp, not paying attention to maintaining a lady like image until this alcohol mellows my senses. "We can pick some up whenever you like Noona" he says amused but still concerned at my sudden excitement in my poison of choice as some might say. 
After having what is now my temporary fill of my wine Jungkook suggests we order so the alcohol doesn't hit me too hard, both of us knowing how messy I can get a times but not really voicing it. "Do you know what you'd like to order?" he asks, trying to maintain some sort of conversation between us. "I'm not too sure, I'm trying to decided between these two an-" "Are you ready to order?" our waiter asks while also taking the liberty of refilling our glasses. 
"I think we'll need another minute or so" Jungkook answers for the both of us. "Oh it's okay I think I know what I want now" I say butting in before the waiter leaves. "Oh no that's okay honey we can take an extra second for you to think a little more" he says waving off the waiter, disregarding what what I had said and making the choice for me. 
"Okay" I say dragging out the last syllable a bit and mumbling that I was ready and will order the same thing no matter how much time he thinks I need under my breath. "What was that love?" he questions, catching onto how my demeanor has changed a bit. "Nothing don't worry about it" I say and go back to scanning the menu.
Once the waiter has taken our order Jungkook decides to start asking me about my day. "It was okay, I wasn't too busy at work so it was kind of boring" I reply, giving somewhat of a vague answer but not enough for him to get suspicious. I decide to ask him about his day in turn so he can ramble off for a bit while I try to figure out how to go about this. 
"Jungkook" I say grabbing his attention after he's spoken for a while, cutting him off. He hums in acknowledgment, not bothered at my sudden interruption. But before I'm able to say anything else our food is brought out to our table.
"Was there anything else I could get you?" the waiter asks cutting off the conversation for a moment, another interruption by him added to the tally. "Oh no that's okay I think we're fine" Jungkook answers again for both of us before checking in with me and once again the waiter is sent on his way.
"Now what were you saying love?" he asks now bringing his attention back to me but the rumbling in my stomach leaving me unable to focus. "Nothing can we just eat now? I didn't realize how hungry I was" I laugh off awkwardly.
"Of course go ahead. I hope you end up liking what you ordered" he smiles. 'I had more than enough time to think about it thanks to you' I say to myself, irritated by that previous event that happened moments ago yet again.
"I'm sure I will" I say and take that first bite, realizing it's not what I ordered. "What's wrong?" he says immediately noticing the look on my face. "No I'm fine, it's just the wrong order" I say and take a drink of water to wash out the flavor, being caught off guard by the taste. "I can call the waiter back if you want to send it back" he says and takes a quick look around trying to find him. 
"No it's fine don't worry about it. I don't mind" I say and go ahead to make the effort and take another bite, now tasting a bit better since I know what to expect this time. "But it's not what you ordered" he says, but before he's able to lift his hand up to wave them down I take his hand in mine bringing his attention back over to me. "Jungkook it's fine, let's just go back to eating" I say sternly to which he finally pays attention to, now clearly using my age as a reminder to get him to listen to me.
"Okay Noona. But can we at least switch dishes? I know you'll like mine better than yours!" he offers, hoping this will provide some sort of solution. "Sure" I say and give him a sweet smile after seeing his doe eyes go round, genuinely wanting to find a way to make me happy. We switch plates but end up spilling some water on the floor in the meantime leaving a big puddle right next to us. 
"Waiter!" Jungkook calls for someone to come help. "I'm so sorry do you think you could give us some napkins so I can clean this up?" he asks, clearly embarrassed by the situation once they reach us. "Oh don't worry about it sir, I'll have someone come out to clean it up" the waiter says before scurrying off to the back to find someone to help with the mess. 
"I'm sorry" I say and try to come out from around the table and help pick up some of the bigger shards of glass. "Don't apologize, it was my fault" he excuses. "And don't worry about picking up the glass, I've got it" he says going to grab a smaller piece but pulls his hand back after having sliced his finger right on contact. 
"This is why you need to leave things to me sometimes" I say sitting back up and giving him a napkin to wrap his finger in to stop the bleeding.  "I'm sorry Noona I-" "Keep some pressure on it and go to the bathroom to wash it off" I say sternly cutting him off, not looking for any arguments to which he mouthes a silent 'okay' and heads towards the bathroom to do as I say.
"Is everything okay over here?" a bus boy says, coming over to clean up the mess. "Um yeah everything is fine" I say not really wanting to get into it. "If you're planning on breaking up with him then go for it. It'll be less messy if you just get it over with.
"How did you know?" I say widening my eyes at him once the words have left his mouth. "Girly it doesn't take a genius to tell that you're unhappy" he says before turning to leave, me now confused more than ever. "Are you okay?" Jungkook asks me, somehow sneaking up on me on his way back. 
"I think we should break up" I blurt out, surprising even myself by how easily it came out after talking to that bus boy. Who knew that it would just take one last push for me to finally speak my mind. "What? Why?" he asks completely caught off guard by the abrupt nature of the statement.
"Jungkook, I haven't been happy for a while and I know you probably haven't noticed that you're unhappy as well because you've just become too comfortable in this relationship" he tries to interrupt but I stop him by raising my hand and he gets the memo and sinks back in his chair to listen.
"We've been together for two years already and I feel like we're at the same place we were back then. It feels like I'm the same person I was back then and so are you. We haven't grown and changed at all, as a couple or individually. I feel like my life is going in slow motion, I'm still working on my damn degree because I cut down on my class load to get a job to help pay for our bills and I've lost all motivation to continue pursuing it" I say and take a deep breath.
"You could always quit your job so you can focus on your studies. I told you before that I make enough to support the both of us" he says, having been given an opportunity to jump in. "That's not the point. Do you know how horrible I would feel if I was living off of my younger boyfriend's money? Do you know what people would say about us, about me?" I say, him adding more fuel to the fire unknowingly. 
"They would say I'm a gold digger and that I was too lazy to try and make something out of my life. That I'm taking too much time to finish college and I should just give up on it all together and get a real job" I continue. "I thought you didn't care about what people think" he says quietly infuriating me even more since he obviously knows the answer to his stupid question but decides to make that comment anyways. 
"Well I obviously do" I say and sit back taking a breather for a second, giving him a chance to say something since he obviously feels the need to interrupt. "Did I do something? Did I say something that might've caused you to feel this way? I'll fix, it just tell me" he says trying to understand my reasoning. 
"Oh so now you want to put in an effort? Jungkook you're hardly ever around, and when you are, you're too tired to spend time together. For the most part just heading to bed or getting back when I'm already sleeping. Do you even know how long it's been since you've even bothered to touch me? How long it's been since we had a conversation that wasn't accompanied by a meal. How long it's been since we watched a movie together" I list off and the realization of the actual state of our relationship washes over him.
"Baby I'm so-" "You know it was my birthday last month right? I waited around all day hoping you just weren't saying anything because you had a surprise planned for me but at the end of the night all I had received from you was a simple good morning kiss and then you went about your day, paying no mind to me at all. Holed up in your office on your day off, working and making phone calls, not even bothering to come out to eat dinner" I say getting upset all over again at the memory. 
"Let's celebra-" he tries again. "This isn't about celebrating my birthday! This is about the fact that it feels like you don't even care about me anymore. Every time I try to make an effort to spend time together you cancel at the last minute and come home with a bouquet of tiger lilies asking me for forgiveness and promising to be there next time. Even the simple dinners that I've made when you told me you would be home early enough would go cold, leaving me to eat alone yet again with no call, no text, nothing" I say and I see him hang his head a bit finally seeing things from my side. 
"Is there someone else? Someone else in your life that you're wasting your love on, leaving just a shell of a person to come crawl into bed with me. Then in the morning I wake up alone, the only indicator that you even been there being some new clothes in the laundry basket and the rumpled sheets next to me. I've been thinking recently, 'What are either of us getting out of this relationship?'. At this point we could honestly be roommates and not much would change at all compared to what's going on with us right now" I say and see that he's been holding back from saying anything so I give him a chance to say his piece. 
"There's no one else and you know that" he says sternly, clenching his jaw at the thought that I would actually think that he would cheat on me. "How would I know that" I lower my voice and lean forward trying to provoke him but he's not taking the bait, too concerned about the people around us. "I only have eyes for you and it's been like that for years. I don't even find other women attractive anymore now that I have you". "Flattery will get you no where Jungkook" I roll my eyes at him. 
"Well you're just going to have to believe me then" he says sitting back, fixing his suit jacket a bit to straighten himself out and takes a deep breath. I wait for him to say something else but he just stays silent, I can see the wheels turning in his head but from the looks of it he just can't seem to formulate them the way he wants to. 
"That's another thing, I hate the fact that you're so cautious with me. Always carefully formulating your sentences so they come out perfectly, making choices for me because you think you know best, never even trying to do something new together because you don't want to push me out of my comfort zone" I argue, continuing to point out all of the big things he's done that frustrate me. 
"I just want you to enjoy everything we do together. I don't want something to not meet your expectations and then it all goes to waste" he explains, trying to get me to see some of these things from his perspective. "I understand that, really I do, but people are meant to grow and change and learn new thing, but I feel like since we've been together we've done none of that. Our first few months of course were exciting and new but we soon started to settle into a routine and that's not what I want. To me that's not living" I explain to him, making sure he sees my side as well. 
"This relationship just isn't good for either of us. We're stifling each other's growth and it seems like our ideas of how we want to live are at odds" I say trying to wrap it up. "What's wrong with the way we live? I thought you liked our apartment?" he asks clearly not understanding where I'm going with this.
"Jungkook I literally just explained to you everything that I was unhappy about with the way that we're living. It's not the material things it's us. The day to day with how we do or don't interact with each other. The consideration of making sure you'll follow through on something instead of just expecting forgiveness when you decide to apologize for failing after the fact. The way that I don't even feel like you love me anymore, you're just used to me now so you don't feel the need to put effort into our relationship" 
"But I do love you" he starts but I cut him off without a single care. "You know our anniversary was three days ago right? I wouldn't be surprised if you just took a shot in the dark and picked a random day and convinced yourself into thinking it was the right one" I scoff. "Really?" he asks softly, embarrassed that even now he's messed up. "Yes Jungkook why would I lie to you I-" I start but I cut myself off when the waiter comes by. 
"Would you both like some more wine?" he asks with bottle in hand and as soon as I'm about to accept, hoping to cool myself down a bit Jungkook places his hand over my wine glass, preventing him from refilling it. "No, I think she's had enough don't worry" Jungkook says and takes that as a not so subtle note to not come back over until he asks for the bill. 
"This is exactly what I was talking about Jungkook! You haven't listened to a word I've said have you?" "No I have I ju-" "I want to break up and I don't want to fix thing" I say stating my case, feeling like this whole conversation was meaningless and decide to stop explaining myself. "I'm sorry it was just a habit. I'm listening I promise, if you just give me some time I'll clean up my act and put more effort into us" he pleads with me.
"I said no! End of discussion" I huff, tired of playing his games. "One week, that's all I'll need" he asks, doing better than I am at maintaining a sense of decorum. "I said we're done! Why is that something that you just can't get through your head?" I argue. 
"Please Noona, can you keep your voice down?" he pleads with me, noticing a few more people have taken notice of our conversation. "You can't tell me what to do Jungkook. I'm still your elder whether we are together or not so you do not get to disrespect me like that!" I say getting up from my chair making moves to leave.
"All this time you've been messing around and playing with my heart and I'm done Jungkook. I'm sick of yo-" "Noona watch out!" he yells, grabbing me by my arm and yanking me towards him. "What? What happened?" I say after looking around once I've regained stability.
"There was a fire at that table and it got pretty close to you so..." he trails off getting embarrassed, now noticing that he's the only one that go scared by it. I turn around and take a look a said table where the supposed fire was and see that in fact is a fire over there. 
"It was a flambé Jungkook that's normal and it's far away from us anyway so I don't see why you would act like that" I say turning my vision back over to Jungkook and just now taking notice of how close he is to me. I look at him and I look down and realize that in his panic I somehow ended up on his lap. 
He gives me a shy smile which soon turns into a look of panic when I get up off his lap grabbing my stuff and walking towards the door. "Noona wait please" he says and grabs onto my wrist but I pull it out of his grasp, turning around to face him at the same time.
"Don't bother coming home tonight. Stay at a friend's house or wherever you want, just leave me alone. We'll talk about this later" I say and he calls out to me one final time but I leave before he's able to stop me again.
Teaser / Tuesday
Series Masterlist
a/n: I really hope you like Monday! I said I was going to post something else but I had this done already and I was too excited so I decided to post it! I really hope you guys like it! Also barely edited so have mercy on me. Thanks for all of the support recently on my fics as well! Love you guys <3
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aromanticbuck · 12 days
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Tommy was nowhere to be found when Buck was in the gym though. That was 100% about Eddie. As was the Christopher thing because he didn't want to be replaced in Eddie and Christophers lives by anyone, for any length of time. The only time I really felt him trying to get Tommy's attention was their first scene together. But that was purposeful by the writers. They wanted to have it both ways and needed Buck to want both of their attention but have no idea why.
I've sat here for almost a full day wondering how to respond to this, and honestly, I very nearly deleted it without responding because... I barely go here. I just shifted over to 911 as my main fandom. I was a One Chicago blog a little over a week ago and yeah, one well timed rewatch might put me back on that train.
I just came over here because I watched the show, enjoyed it, and wanted to have fun with other fans. My posts are my opinion and my observations, and are obviously not meant to speak for all of canon or even any faction of the fandom besides myself (and maybe Kit, but our opinions vary sometimes too, and we live together). I just pointed out what I noticed, and the trends that I picked up on, and how I thought they were intending to establish Buck wanting Tommy's attention - which, in my opinion, they did really well.
So, I'm just gonna put a screenshot of the post this is referring to right here:
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Here's the thing. If you watch every single episode of the show looking for Buddie moments whenever Buck or Eddie is on screen (and I saw a lot of that after last night's episode to the point that I'm getting exhausted and annoyed), then that's all you're going to see, even if that's not what they're trying to show us.
It's been especially bad since 7x04 and the BuckTommy kiss. Everyone is looking at his canon queerness through a Buddie lens and ignoring everything else around it. They're making his coming out to Maddie about Buddie, and they're making his attraction to Tommy about Buddie, they're making episodes we haven't even seen about Buddie.
In reality, none of that is about Buddie or confirming future Buddie or anything of the sort. He and Maddie mentioned Eddie in that scene because the conversation started when he said he felt like he was lying to Eddie and he didn't like it. Yes, Eddie and Tommy are similar, and I understand joking about Buck having A Type, but that doesn't make his attraction to Tommy any less genuine. And we don't know anything about 7x06 yet, but everyone is talking about Buddie getting drunk and sleeping together, or Tommy seeing them interact - as he's already seen because the three of them have had scenes together and he's canonically spent time with Chris - and immediately stepping back from the relationship because there might be something there.
Buck is going to his sister's wedding with Tommy. Buck told Maddie and Eddie about Tommy. Buck wants to dance at the wedding with Tommy. He wants to try for something with Tommy. Eddie encouraged him to go call Tommy and work things out. Buck is going to be out to everyone at the Madney wedding because he wants to be there with Tommy as his date.
I don't know. It's just frustrating to see this really good queer relationship tossed to the side because it's not the Popular Ship. Just because you don't ship it or you aren't looking at it directly, it doesn't mean it's not still there.
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lowkeyrobin · 2 months
Text
SHAWN HUNTER ; moonlight
summary ; friends to lovers makeout sesh
warnings ; language, horribley written makeout session, no smut you degenerates
genre ; fluff / idk
word count ; 1.5k
masterlist
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Y/n and Shawn, Shawn and Y/n. A duo to last centuries and possibly go down in history, at this rate. Obviously, the two had other friends, but they shared a weird bond.
Meeting in eighth grade in English class, due to a music reference that bonded the two, they became very close friends. Now, juniors in high school, they sit in Corey Matthew's bedroom, also accompanied by Topanga Lawrence and Angela Moore. The group were having a sleepover, playing typical 90s teen games such as truth or dare and telephone.
"Hey, should we get snacks and watch a movie downstairs?" Corey asks, seeing the clock read 9:30 beside him.
The group nod and agree.
Corey leads Topanga and Angela to his bedroom door, and notices Y/n and Shawn falling behind, ruffling through their backpacks. He turns away, assuming they were looking for their pajamas or blankets, and leads the two girls downstairs to the kitchen. Seeing the coast is clear, the two look at each other, sharing an awkward look.
Brows furrowed and lips sealed, Shawn is the first to move, making his way to sit next to Y/n. In response, they move their backpack over and lean against the side of Corey's bed. Shawn fidgets with his fingers, avoiding eye contact. Y/n does the same, biting the inside of their cheek, fidgeting with the hem of their shirt.
"So, uhm..." Shawn mumbles, looking up at them for a moment, "What're we gonna do about the obvious?..."
They shrug in response, glancing at Shawn next to them. "We don't have to do anything, I mean, I thought you were going out wirh Angela-"
"Enough about Angela, please" Shawn speaks, "This is about me and you. Shawn and Y/n. We obviously like each other, right? I mean, I'm not getting this wrong, right?" He asks them.
They shake their head no, "I mean, I like you if you like me, I don't fucking know" They awkwardly chuckle.
He nods.
The two bask in silence for a few minutes, unaware of where to take the conversation or handle the situation.
Shawn looks up at Y/n as they glance at him, and holds eye contact, staring into their eyes. He admires their face, unable to think in the moment. He's just mesmerized by how perfect their physical appearance was. Their nose was perfect, their eyes were beautiful, their lips perfectly shaped for his.
He'd already realized that he genuinely liked his friend for more than their appearance, their personality is what got him invested in them anyways. How they had such an amazing music taste, their kindness, their comedic sarcasm, their reasonability, their anxiousness that skyrocketed even over small things. It made him crumble to see them smiling and giggling over one of his jokes.
"Can I kiss you?" Shawn quickly asks, voice almost cracking as he speaks. "Please?"
They nod, slowly moving their right hand to his jawline.
Once he feels the light pressure of their fingers on his jawline, he quickly smashes his lips against theirs, and cups their face with his hands. His fingers brush against their hair a bit, sending a shiver down their spine.
He pulls them closer, feeling that they weren't pulling away from the kiss as he deepens it some more, pressing his lips onto theirs as hard as he could.
He pulls them onto his lap, their knees on each side of his thighs to support their weight. They pull away for a moment and look down at him, hands on his shoulders, silently asking if he's okay with the situation. He leans back in, pulling them forward as a response.
They tug on his hair a bit, pressing their body as physically close to his as they could. He takes a deep sigh, breathing for a moment before looking back up at them.
"You okay? Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!-" Y/n quickly speaks, pulling their hands away, holding them up.
"No, no, no, no" Shawn shakes his head. "You're fine, uhm... I like that...?"
They furrow their brows, "Is that a question or a statement?"
Shawn rolls his eyes in embarrassment as he mumbles his answer. "Statement"
They giggle, covering their mouth with their dominant hand.
"Don't laugh at me, asshole!" Shawn smiles, "You're the one sitting on my lap"
They quickly change their smile to a blank face, quickly placing one hand in the back of his hair, the other on his shoulder.
Shawn's eyes slightly widen as his smile falters, feeling embarrassed, slightly scared, and very flustered. He knows they'll tug at his hair at any given second, trying to scare him.
"Sorry, sorry!"
They shake their head with a little smile and lean back in, the hand on his shoulder moving towards his neck. He groans again as they pull at his hair, and he moves one hand down to their waist, the other resting at the nape of their neck to hold them close.
The two sit against the side of Corey's bed, making out while their three friends were downstairs debating over the choice of movie to watch. They mutually pull away to breathe, and they smile, giggling a bit.
"Your tooth gap is really cute by the way, I dunno if I said that four years ago" Y/n whispers, their thumb caressing his cheek.
Shawn smiles and giggles, "Thank you" He says, speaking quietly as he's flustered. "I think I like you on top of me like this"
"I think I do too" They shrug, tugging at his hair lightly.
He groans, "Mmm-stop! They'll hear us!" He gasps, glancing back at the bedroom door behind him.
They tug at his hair again to tease him, and he makes them stop by pulling them in for another kiss. He slowly maneuvers them off his lap, and shoves them by the shoulders onto the floor, and he crawls on top of them, and straddles them. The straps of his leather jacket dangle as he looks down at them with a smug smile.
"Told you to stop"
They smile as well, moving some hair out of their face. "Doesn't mean I will"
They tug at his hair again, just a little too hard, however.
Downstairs, Corey, Topanga, and Angela hear Shawn yelp in pain and shout Y/n's name. Then some profuse apologizing.
"I'm pretty sure they heard us, Shawn"
"That hurt!"
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artmunstudios · 7 months
Text
Lies of P Character Analysis: P and Carlo
Spoilers for the ending of the game lie ahead under the cut!
I have been seeing a lot of people refer to P as Carlo, specifically in the Rise of P ending, and I think it is very important to think about this fact, because it kind of goes hand in hand with the themes of the game overall. And on top of that, it's important for when making theories too!
P isn’t Carlo—he never was, and won’t ever be no matter what ending you get. Not even the Nameless Puppet is really Carlo. (His corpse maybe which is,,,,, so fucked)
I'm kinda driving this home, because I think it is really important to understand the difference between P and Carlo, because despite Geppetto claiming that P inherited his personality instead of the memories, they clearly are very different people, and that is solely because of their environments.
He’s much more like a reflection of Carlo, if he was raised in a more loving/nurturing environment. P is a Carlo that isn’t solely filled with nothing but spite and anger towards his father that literally abandoned and clearly even resented him. Compare this to the people around P at the home he knew, Hotel Krat.
Sofia— Never once really says a bad word to P. Not even in the bad ending. She is that gentle guide that, despite claiming to have awakened P for selfish reasons, acts entirely selfless and is willing for her freedom to be put on hold to help P in aiding in lessening the damage in Krat. She compliments him, gives encouraging words, and I would even dare to say she teaches P the value of life.
Antonia— Grandma. Of. The Year. Can we please give this classy lady of all sass and glory more than a peaceful death? Like???? I dunno, sneak her a bottle of that good wine, Tipple Lady seemed to really dig it. If she wasn't so sick I am more than certain that she would have been doting on P more than just verbally. I'm talking that kind of grandma, and you know exactly what I mean. This lady would somehow find a way for there to be ingredients for cookies because goddammit, she may be classy but I bet you any money she makes the best goddamn peanut butter cookies and YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE. Every time P would come back all dirty, he would get the scolding of a lifetime because how many times does she have to tell him to leave that dirty coat and boots at the entry and let Polendina get them for a wash— And finally, if she were well enough you know damn well P would have been even more classy than he already was with those outfits. She would spend an entire day going through wardrobes and having P try each outfit on to see what looks good, because no grandson of hers is going out in drabs she will not have it— Ahem. Er. ANywayyy...that grandma. she would be that grandma. And still kind of is, she just couldn't do much being so ill. And, kind of on the flipside, I think Antonia in a way taught P the importance of death, and how it can be drawing near, but you can still be full of hope like she was.
Polendina and Pulcinella — These two taught P a very important lesson, and even taught it to him fairly early on! Puppets are not inherently evil; in fact, they can be just as alive as any human. They both love the ones they take care of, and provide that sense of kinship that P really needed. In a way, P is biracial (racial....or...????bispecies???? I????? I don't know what to call it?????) so seeing both sides of each half in him is such a great influence, and helps him realize that he may be different to both, he can belong in both worlds.
Eugenie— Sweetie. Babygirl. Bestie. She was thrown into the position of big sister so fast she didn't even realize it until like. The end of the game, I think. That conversation about her big brother seemed to make her realize that she was a big sister to P in a way, I think. Which is why the realization about her own older sibling made things much harder, I think.
Lorenzini— An eccentric, but genuinely kind hearted man. A human, that despite everything, still treats the puppets as family. Hell, he doesn't even convinced that they are the villains, and he is the one to actually initiate the whole path to when the group discovers that Geppetto is the one behind the frenzy. 1000/10, coolest uncle; he probably will buy P so many ridiculous things the moment things have calmed down in Krat. What's that? Oh, yes you need a place to stay--HAVE A HOUSE. DO YOU WANT THE BLOCK I CAN BUY YOU A BLOCK-- (Pulcinella has to withhold finances because Lorenzini will NOT stop buying P shit, and the poor lad doesn't really have a concept of money so of course he's gonna accept it all and just say yes!) .... (The realization of P not really having a concept of currency suddenly startles me. WHAT IS HE GONNA DO WHEN KRAT IS RESTORED??? POLENDINA WHY DID YOU RESET HE NEEDS FUCKIN HELP— )
Geppetto— Ah. Yes. Rat bastard (derogatory). Deadbeat dad. Control freak. YOU. I will. Give him this, and I do genuinely mean this; despite everything he has done, and how manipulative he is, he, ironically, gave P exactly what he needed from a father in some ways. Specifically, Geppetto always reminded P that he was precious and important to him, and that he genuinely did not like sending him out into dangerous situations. Even though, it was for different reasons, and the majority of us were suspicious from the start, we have to think about it from P's perspective. Think about all the things he said to him, until the end at least. P had legitimately no reason to suspect Geppetto. In many ways, as far as P could tell, he was perfect. Encouraging, gentle, he made sure P was always in tip-top shape, and he told him that he was proud to see him fight the King of Puppets (yes it's fucked up knowing it was Romeo, Carlo's possible only friend, but again, P doesn't know that until the very end). In a way, he taught P his own worth, to the point that he valued his own individuality, and refused to give up his sense of self. And in the very end, I think Geppetto realized that P was not Carlo, but he loved him like a father, despite everything.
Gemini (I FORGOT GEMINI AND HAD TO EDIT TO ADD HIM IN CAST ME INTO THE FUCKIN FIRE I AM A FAKE PINOCCHIO LORE FANATIC) - Gemini, in my opinion, in this iteration is less of a conscious and more of a??? He's kinda like Romeo's replacement, in a way; he's P's best friend. He kinda also teaches P humor as well, which is honestly a take on the talking Cricket that is so unique. He's like that awkward teacher that is young but still a little out of touch with the generation he's teaching that it's like the equivalent of hearing your 30 something professor tell a fucking dad pun. Speaking of teaching, he teaches P a lot! Especially history, and cultural stuff for Krat; and I think that's also really important for development! And it is really sweet how he still, despite Krat being in disarray, tries to kinda give the city that sense of wonder and joy for P that maybe other tourists would have.
Now, contrast that with Carlo's life:
His father drops him off randomly at a place he doesn't know (a fucking orphanage dude, you couldn't even be fucked to ship him to a proper private school at least Geppetto?) at we can assume age 10-12, without even bothering to tell him when or if he would come back, based on that first memory we see. How many more sleeps until daddy comes back? Geppetto couldn't even be bothered to see his graduation, and he claims that he would not care if he just dropped over dead. And, I'm gonna be real, just based on the line delivery, as well as some personal experiences (get into that a little later with some dissection) I fully believe he means it. I'm gonna be real, the people who say stuff like that, specifically older kids edging adulthood, most of the time they really mean that shit. And, to make matters worse, it's not even just Geppetto that brushes him off, even people that you could argue are supposed to be mentor figures, brush him off. But we don't know enough yet about the Stalker Woman, so I won't go too deep into that. Right to his death (which we have to assume was homicide) it seemed like the entire world, but Romeo, rejected him.
In a way, it makes sense that the Nameless Puppet is just a rage-filled, calculating, killing machine when it gets P's heart. It doesn't inherit the personality, just the memories. And that, with the kind of life Carlo lived, makes for a very dangerous being.
Let's also think about what Giangio said, too. He calls P a new kind of human. P doesn't just magically get human guts and whatnot. He's not human, he's a cyborg, I suppose, but even that doesn't seem entirely right. It's just kinda as Giangio calls him; a new kind of human. I guess, if we want to get cheeky, P is a Legion Human. Carlo was human, and that's just how it was. Carlo never comes back, but the memory of him does seem to live on in P. He's like??? He starts off as a reflection, and ends up becoming a legacy to Carlo, in a way.
But there is one huge indicator yet that shows that P and Carlo are separate people.
I'm gonna be honest, and say potentially a bold take, but I genuinely don't think Carlo would have cried if he were there when Geppetto dies, I really don't. Just speaking from personal experience (yet again), I have an absentee parent that, the older I get, I kind of realized was never really in my life. Similar to Geppetto in a way, too, in the concept of wanting more of a concept rather than actually being a parent. So, just speaking from that perspective, if my absentee father who never bothered to get to know me or even cared about who I was as a person died in such a way (lowkey from his own hubris) I can't say it's realistic to think that someone with that kind of relationship would cry for that parent. Feel sad? Absolutely, it's not like you are heartless and just lose all sense of apathy for that person. But it's hard to really mourn for a stranger at worst, and a associate at best.
However, P does cry. More than that, when you see him curl over Geppetto's body in the true end, that right there, is fucking despair. Again, just kind of speaking from experience, your body does some weird shit to cope when you are upset over a death. You kinda revert back to that state of being a kid, wanting to coddle your precious thing because when you were at that age, you believed that things could be fixed with stuff like a hug, or cradling, etc. It's not a conscious thought, but that is part of the reflex. P holds Geppetto, the man that he genuinely sees as his father, close; because it's the only thing he knows what to do in that moment. If we think about Carlo and Geppetto's relationship, can we really see Carlo holding his father close like that?
TLDR: P and Carlo are two entirely different people; and it is almost solely because of the environments they were in.
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drdemonprince · 3 months
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I read your newsletter about "transmisandry" today. I'm a trans man and I generally agree with what you said. However, I was wondering how you would classify a particular experience of mine and other trans men I know irl or have seen online.
In short, I find that in some queer spaces, masculine and/or "binary" (meaning, not non-binary) trans men are treated as outsiders and enemies. I imagine some straight-passing queer cis men experience similar.
This prejudice against masculinity has nothing to do with us being trans, and is in no way oppressive, but it seems to me that some people have a hatred/disgust/discomfort/etc. with masculine men, especially if we are proud of our manhood. I sometimes feel excluded in queer or progressive spaces, and like I have to change myself to fit into others' idea of "acceptable" manhood.
I think this tends to emotionally affect trans men in particular because being a man is generally hard-won and joyful for us. Have you experienced prejudice in queer spaces, especially trans spaces, for being transmasculine? And while I don't believe there exists systemic misandry, is this not a form of misandry, just interpersonal?
Thanks, I really appreciate your work.
Hi there, thank you for great question. What you are describing is certainly a very real and troubling dynamic within both queer and feminist spaces, and it's put me off for a very long time. I have sometimes referred to this as "playful 'misandry' feminism", always with "misandry" in quotes because, as we've already established, it's not a real locus of systemic oppression. I have also sometimes in the past likened it to "Men's Tears Coffee Mug" feminism in its performative, self-congratulatory, typically white feminist stance.*
*in the Koa Beck sense of the term. Someone who is not white can be a white feminist.
I was always put off by performative man-hating jokes and the exclusion of men within feminist spaces because, well, I was one, and because it nearly always played out in transmisogynistic ways that were transparent to me, and because I was a major ride-or-die for men who were victims of sexual violence yet were frequently excluded from survivors' spaces (again, because I was one, even before I realized that I was).
There are a lot of troubling effects that happen when feminist women make a big performance out of finding all men to be disgusting and evil and frequently express disinterest in men's feelings or suffering (which used to be way more common in my estimation, around the early 2010's or so it seemed to peak). I was driven away from feminist spaces as a young closeted trans man because I could see such spaces were not for me or for any of the other men that I cared about and needed support. On the inverse side of things, I have spoken to many trans men who said that "playful "misandry"" feminism actively made it harder for them to realize that they were guys. Men were seen as the enemy and inherently evil and destructive and so they felt absolutely disgusting about the possibility of being a man, or feared transitioning would get them seen as a betrayer of the feminist movement.
As you rightly note, it is not just trans guys who get excluded by such dynamics. Cis men who are genuinely avowed feminists can be driven away by such forces, which is especially upsetting in the case of sexual assault survivors and queer men. Trans women and TMA enbies are excluded from feminist and women's spaces because they supposedly "look like" men to these types, and their own feelings of superficial safety rank above the actual data on who is the most at risk structurally (which is trans women). Butches are regarded in some spaces as too aggressive or unacceptably masculine because of it. And people's analysis of gender oppression just overall sucks when they buy into "playful misandry" style feminism because they go around saying shit like "femme people are oppressed by masc folks." what the hell does that mean. Does a cis, gender conforming feminine woman have less structural power than a butch lesbian? I don't think so.
It seems to me that the big problem here is that "playful misandry" feminism is rooted in a deep deep misunderstanding of the structural nature of oppression. Sexism isn't caused by patriarchy and capitalism, it's caused by "men" and so hating men and excluding them is what will fix things. Men as individuals are responsible for sexism and so women should be as detached from them and unsupportive of them as possible. This logic leads to a TERFy place really quickly, and yes, it also really really damages trans men.
My opinion is that it's best to critique this problem as the political failure that it is: a misunderstanding of sexism as individualistic rather than systemic. That's the core issue from which all the problems flow -- from rampant transmisogyny to the exclusion of cis male sexual assault survivors to the feelings of alienation of trans men. Yes sometimes naming the performative nature of "man hating" jokes and the like is helpful because people recognize instantly what that dynamic is when they hear it. But the "misandry" itself is not the core problem -- it's the shitty gender politics and white feminism.
Does that make sense? To be clear, I think it's something trans men get to talk about. I talk about it from my positionality quite a lot really. I don't think "misandry" is ultimately the helpful or clarifying way to name it, but I will sometimes throw around that term with a TON of qualifiers if I'm discussing the specific interpersonal dynamic of women saying that men are evil rapists innately or whatever. But really discussing the broader gender politics failure that leads to those little shitty comments and looks is almost always more helpful. If trans guys and cis guys are feeling excluded from a space due to these dynamics it's almost always the case that trans women, TMA enbies, butch women, and lots of women of color are too.
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punkascas · 3 months
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okay, so i don't want to, like, Start Something or whatever so we're doing a barely-tagged, separate post. i also realise this is mostly pointless because others have already said what i'm going to say, and did it better, with far more grace, and sound less like an asshole than i do.
but jesus louise helen christ, the weird fucked up ideas people have around abuse and personal responsibility and the effect of trauma. like as an abuse and csa survivor, it genuinely alarms me to read posts that use arguments i remember my dad making. like, i'm assuming most of this rhetoric comes from gen z — maybe that's inaccurate; maybe that's unfair. but right now i'm very much Having A Moment Here that the kids aren't alright.
no 22-year-old should be repeating the same awful, manipulative, logically and morally bankrupt justifications for violence and torture my dad says. like literally what's in the first two episodes of ofmd s2 is torture.
i love ed; he's an amazing character. taika is hella wowza top marks acting him. but like.
like.
torture, my dude. physical and psychological. trauma. harassment. that we see the lasting effects of through s2.
just. i. what??
so here we go, okay. have too many, zealously highlighted screenshots so i can dig into details.
cut to save your dashes. content warning for discussions of abuse and trauma (if that wasn't obvious), as well as spoilers for ofmd s2.
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re: ed knew what he was doing was wrong and felt guilty about it at the time:
we have no on-screen, textual examples of this. not in the dialogue; not in the acting; not in the blocking; not in the cinematography or music. nothing.
knowing the crew are overworked and kind of traumatised by all the violence, ed bribes them with cake. because, as we know, cake like tea fixes everything. only ed wasn't even with them to share in the eating of the cake. he made izzy responsible for that. he doesn't give the crew a break; he doesn't choose less ethically-fraught prizes to hunt. there is not one scene of ed talking directly to the crew — until he points a gun at each of them.
we see ed crying (and drinking, and rhino horn-ing [way to help further extinction, man]) but it's always paired with shots or flashbacks that reference stede. ed is still all up in his feelings about stede, and ed confirms this when he tells frenchie the myth about albatrosses never needing to return to land. ed cannot go back, does not want to go back, because he was rejected. (like, stede is literally landed gentry, come on!) all he wants to do instead is stay at sea committing to this unhinged version of unstable, sadistic piracy.
but okay, okay. say we ignore all of that. let's say ed does feel sorry and guilty and ashamed of his actions. he knows what he's doing is wrong and unfair and cruel. that it's harming others. that it's particularly harming the dude that ed has, for better or worse, basically spent his life with (izzy; i mean izzy). ed… still continues to do the things! how far off are we at this point from the definition of malicious? you know action x hurts person b and then you do it anyway. is that honestly a better, happier, more ethically defensible reading of the character?
re: the crew didn't mutiny because they love ed despite his violent, sadistic actions.
mutinies were a thing, yes. but both historically and in the world rules established by the show, mutiny is disincentivised through threats, distraction via extra work, and corporeal punishment. we see both ed and izzy use all three of these to try to prevent the crew from disobeying orders. they didn't wait until the storm and izzy shooting ed to mutiny because they understood or sympathised with ed; they took the chance to kill him then because that was the first real opportunity they'd had. the reward finally out-weighed the risk given that ed was going to kill them all that night anyway.
again, we have no scenes, no dialogue, no visual or audio cues to tell us that the crew understands or loves ed — excluding izzy, obviously. fang could also be on that list, if you take into account his personality and his behaviour both in s1 and later in s2 in the fishing boat scene. but in the first two episodes, we only see the crew show trauma responses around ed. they talk about him but almost never to him. and when they do have a direct conversation with ed, it is either confrontation or head down, submissive, "of course, blackbeard; anything you say" placating. i'm so baffled where the show points to any sign of love from the crew towards ed before his "death".
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re: ed can't be held responsible because he was suicidal.
uhm. no. hard no. a harder no than stede's brazilian cherry wood mast. fucked up people do fucked up things but part of being an adult is owning your fucked-upped-ness and not fucking up others while you work on unfucking yourself. children, children are not fully responsible for the impact of their actions on others when they're deep in their feelings, especially if they're feeling their feelings as a trauma response. this is because literally their brain cannot do that kind of control. it doesn't have that software pack installed yet. ed does have all the adult updates installed, even if he isn't running them at that moment. he has no right to take out his feelings on other people: to maim them, to psychologically torture them, to abuse them, to work them to exhaustion. to kill them. he does not get a free pass to do suicide by abused employees. (like suicide by cop but more indirect and passive and harmful.) talk about passive aggressive.
secondly, ed is not just passively suicidal and happy to find new risks that might end his life. he is very purposefully taking izzy with him (see: literally removing the bits of izzy that would help let him walk away from ed; the fact that ed becomes actively suicidal only once he thinks izzy is dead; the whole keeping izzy's corpse in front of his and stede's beach shack i mean inn — the codependence, she runs deep). ed is also putting the crew through the same risks, the same isolation, the same danger. both stede and izzy agreed that ed had gone full scorched earth policy. you don't get forgiven for the murder part of a murder-suicide pact just because of the suicide part. not to mention that no one (once again, you could potentially argue izzy as an exception) was good on a murder-suicide pact with blackbeard.
and then to say the crew felt guilty? i assume i'm misreading that. the crew. felt guilty. for ed's actions. that is, if not victim blaming and if not darvo, a very close inbred cousin of them. like hapsburg jaw inbred close.
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re: ed healing and his view of himself as a monster.
to heal means, in part, to accept responsibility for the harm you've caused, whether it was intentional or not. it means making amends. it means building or rebuilding relationships where possible. it means putting the other person or persons' feelings and boundaries and need for safety above your desire for absolution or forgiveness. it means working through your own guilt and shame and anger (or whatever drove you to act the way you did) in a separate space, not with the people you hurt, but someone who can be a step removed, more impersonal and objective to help you reflect and face hard truths as needed. i say this as both someone involved in activism and community reparations and as an abuse survivor who has done nearly 30 years of therapy learning this in order to not hurt people. it's not ed's fault he's fucked up just like it isn't my fault i am. but it is on me, like it is on anyone, to make sure i limited as much as possible the harm i can cause to others because i learned some awful but very effective tricks at a young age to survive.
ed does not really do any of the above. he doesn't say "sorry". he speaks in generalised language. he complains about the cat bell (which he seems to wear only for one day, given the implied timeline with lucius and pete's engagement). i have a model ship on a stand that says "this is a safe space ship" as a joke because i work for the government and have written press releases that sound just like ed's "apology". where you take no responsibility and encourage "the culture" to move on.
so, really, my question becomes: ed sees himself as a monster. in s1, we had enough balance between ed's current actions and his referenced past actions to see this belief as likely untrue. in s2 though — i mean, is it? is that an unfair or inaccurate belief? i can understand how carrying that belief can get in the way of ed's growth and eventual healing but like. from an outside perspective of ed-the-fictional-character. he's not a "good" person. he's capable of and has done and continued to do horrible, cruel things. ethically, can you argue with that statement about him?
re: ed trying to destroy relationships because of his self-worth issues and instead the consequences of his actions proving that he's loved.
this is the point that made me go: right, no, i need to respond. i need to say my piece about this. izzy and the crew suffering ed's violent tyranny and then sticking around on the revenge anyway afterwards is not a sign of love. it is not showing love to bear pain for someone. it not showing love to let someone mistreat you, threaten you, hurt you, maim you. their actions are selfish and done to give them feelings of power and control over you. lying back and thinking of england to get through it is not love. it is absolutely a survival technique. but it is not love when you do it at the expense of yourself or others.
i also disagree that ed was trying to push people away or break his relationships with others. we know from s1 that ed is fairly blasé about whether crew members die. again, we don't see any friendly or intimate exchanges between ed and any of the crew to imply any kind of relationship there beyond "tools who accomplish ed's goals". the one exception, as always, is izzy. and as previously stated, ed seems bound and determined, in a very conscious way, to bring izzy into death with him. ed does everything in his power to make izzy want to kill ed, or at least agree that it's best if ed dies, and to want to kill himself so ed doesn't have to die alone. that isn't ed breaking that relationship; it's making it permanent in a really fucked up shakespearian way. the only relationship we see ed waffle between wanting to keep and wanting to push away is stede. after his corporate "apology" and the fishing trip with fang, all of ed's dialogue is with stede and a little bit with zheng until izzy's death scene. the crew loving ed just isn't a thing, at least not one we're shown. not from either side. ed's relationships are with stede and kind of, sort of with izzy (because he does manage to, if not fully break, do some major damage to that).
love did not save ed. ed wanting to live, because stede came back, because he didn't want to jump off hornigold's cliff in the first place, saved ed. izzy saved everyone else.
so yeah: that's it; that's the post. the rhetoric that abuse is love or that abuse can be "cured" with love or that trauma isn't lasting and serious and has impacts on people's daily lives is just. wild. wild.
and terrifying.
my dad was born in the 40s. why is anyone born in the 80s or later still defending this mindset? it honestly, truly freaks me out.
guess it's good i have a fucking therapy appointment on monday.
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mitraoki · 1 year
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Hii, can I request headcanons on the JJK men’s sleeping habits + positions, including Suguru Geto pls? Thank youu
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their sleeping positions/habits. (jjk hcs!)
note; omg anon hiiiii! thank you for requesting!!🤍🥺 this is certainly new for me to write, so i hope i did a good job with it!
come on in requests are open! <33 you can always refer to who i write for in my rules :3
i also referred to this link! wanted to give you the best experience <3
masterlist.
gojo satoru
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+ would like to properly start these hc's with letting everyone know that gojo is a heavy sleeper. shake him as much as you'd like, bang pots and pans, set hundreds of alarm clocks around him and it would seem like he's not even physically there - he's probably living in his dream at this point. built himself a house and is sleeping there.
+ he claims that the strongest jujutsu sorcerer does not require much rest because he's always out and about, completing missions under his care. but we all know how much fatigue that can cost. one thing you should take note of gojo is how much he's in denial when it comes to taking care of himself. he will continue to tell you he's okay but we all know he's not.... so tell me why is he sleeping like a baby now, hm?
+ just shove gojo onto the bed, that's more than enough for him. that is why he doesn't want to admit he needs sleep - he KNOWS for a fact that if he finds a place to rest, he wouldn't be able to get up anymore, unless he's all recharged for a new day. a bonus for him is that now that you two were sharing a bed, he gets to have you in his arms, too. this means that he needs you in the bed with him at the exact moment as he is; if not he'd already be fast asleep and he'd miss a chance to hold you😭😭😭
+ he adores having you in his arms. this also means that he enjoys being big spoon so much (you're also his bolster). he does know that holding you tight wouldn't give you the best sleeping experience, so he ensures that his grip is loose enough for you to breathe <3 it's genuinely a miracle with how stable this man is when it comes to sleeping, because he can stay in the same. position. the whole. night. 
+ the only time the position actually changes is when he's having nightmares and startles both of you awake. i've mentioned this a number of times before but gojo does not mind being vulnerable in front of you. you might see him sweating, hyperventilating, shedding a tear or two; but he's not going to be running away from you. he needs you to understand the person you're with. when he eventually calms down and gets a glimpse of you, he kisses you, whispering a thank you before laying back down, drifting off to sleep once again.
+ gojo has a good night routine. it's simple, doesn't require a lot of work. he does offer you some advice, and is also not afraid to seek some help from you if he does feel like he's missing out. i feel like the products he uses are super high end ones (no but think about how much he invests in them... his glossy lips say it all), and absolutely does not mind getting you the best ones too :>
geto suguru
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+ okay so geto's 100% a light sleeper. i feel like he's the kind where he would lowkey worry about something potentially happening to him or you, or maybe some kind of issue will pop up. so he definitely adapted to waking up the moment he hears noise. of course, when it's nothing to be worried of, he gets all grumpy and has this face >:( on until he falls asleep again.
+ i hc his sleep schedule to be quite admirable :0 geto makes sure he gets the right amount of sleep. not the kind where he has set a specific time to head to bed, but rather how long he must sleep in order to actually be able to function the next day. not one hour must he leave behind because if he does, it's over. geto is now having one of his worst days yet :( but don't blame him, he's so accustomed to it and he doesn't think he can ever overcome it either🥹 poor geto is worried he might unconsciously hurt your feelings due to his bad mood; so when he's quiet, try comforting him, make him his favorite drink, maybe hum a tune or two - he would love a relaxing day <3
+ geto talks to you a lot about his dreams. he doesn't really have a dream journal to write them on (he prefers not to), but he can surprisingly remember whatever he'd dreamt of, and tell them to you. sometimes he researches what his dreams mean too, to see if they have good or bad omen. he looks like a puppy when he's conveying his thoughts about them. if he had a tail you would probably notice it waggling a LOT. 
+ now geto loves holding you. whenever he has the opportunity, he holds you. he keeps you in his embrace, never lets go. something about the two of you fitting together like puzzle pieces makes him so happy. no doubt that he's gonna have a cuddle session before you two doze off hehe :> he tells you about his day, you tell him about yours, and the conversation goes on an on until you two end up falling asleep, completely intertwined with one another. he finds it extremely cozy being able to do this with you every night. it's some form of security for him, and a promise to keep you close no matter what. 
+ he does move a lot though, so you two might end up in completely different positions when you wake up OOPS😭i can see the confused look on both your faces when you see geto upside down and you holding his legs AUGHHH SO CUTEEE
nanami kento
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+ oh wow.... our beloved nanami..... my fingers are itching to type this NOW
+ unlike geto, i think this man just forgets about his dreams. whenever you describe yours he's just gonna sit back in his chair, contemplating for so long about what he just dreamt. surely he has to remember something.... was it bad that he didn't...? all he can remember is seeing little dots of green or yellow light illuminating before he goes into a deep sleep.... he's trying okay😭
+ nanami has the BEST sleep schedule out of all the men i've written here. i feel like he hasn't gone through any struggle, neither has it physically bothered him if he had to stay up a little later than usual but everybody deserves good sleep, and he values it a lot. though sometimes you can hear him grumble a little if anything requires him to stay up the entire night. he wants you to have a good sleeping habits too, so it's just him constantly reminding you to take good care of yourself before 'i have to take matters into my own hands' (i personally do NOT mind that. it's nanami we're talking about-)
+ with that said, nanami cannot go to sleep unless you fall asleep first. he's always so worried if you cannot get some shut eye just for the night - his heart aches if he ever learns from you about your struggles with sleep. he's worried you might have nightmares and would continue thinking about it till the sun rises. it's unfair that his dearly beloved would have to go through something without his knowledge. 
+ 'please, 'nami. sleep. i'll be fine', and he immediately replies with a 'no. i'm okay. i enjoy this.' and he really does. he enjoys the faint sounds he gets to hear out the window, the moonlight being your shared room's only light source. the feeling of you nuzzling into his chest further as his arm over your shoulder and behind your back positions itself. you using him as your bolster this time, with your knee in between his legs. him slowly caressing your hand with his fingers, which works like a charm, as he could feel your breaths gradually relaxing on his chest. your eyelids finally win, letting you drift off to dream world. once he's sure that you are fast asleep, he plants a kiss on your forehead. his chest finally matching the rise and fall of yours, dozing off as well. 
+ i mean COME ONNNN of course he's holding you in a sweetheart cradle style!!!!!! nanami sleeps like a log as well, so that means he will not move around as much till he wakes up. he finds it super worth it to have you in his arms. i GUARANTEE YOU if he does have afternoon naps (which i think he has if he had to work overtime), he's going to hold you the same way he always has. if you ever have to get up and start your day, groggy (but too stunning to handle) nanami would pull you back, claiming that he's only going to need you for five more (which turned to ten, then fifteen) minutes.
+ 'i hope you slept well, my love,' he half-whispers with his morning voice so smooth, you just wished there was a way to kiss it. but all you could do was just melt in his touch, praying that this moment could last for as long as you could.
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ezlo-x · 9 months
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tbh my biggest gripes with totk is the fact that they did it beginner friendly new comer friendly... like i know this is gonna sound mean but genuinely I wish it didn't try to cater to new fans who want to get into tloz cause totk's story failed cause it needed to cater to new zelda fans
idc abt the lore getting rebooted, sure im going to miss the triforce being an essential piece of the story and lore, only to become the Hylian symbol and game's logo (which tbh is strange its like pokemon using the pokeball as their logo/symbol but pokeballs becoming obsolete in new pkmn games). But because it wanted to be new comer friendly botw's story and lore aspects are long gone and only to be referred to as easter eggs to ppl who played botw know. When characters talk about things that happened in botw as if it was a long time ago like the attack of the Calamity 100 years ago but things that actually happened a very long time ago make it sound like its pretty recent.
I don't like how the new sages just don't remember the champions at all. If you get the divine beast helms through sidequests and read their dialogue they speak in this way as it is their first time seeing it like?? Which is so strange cause totk would gladly reference Sidon and Link's companionship with a statue when trying to access Vah Ruta in BotW, but Mipha gets barely a mention from him? My biggest hopes before we got the title of the game was to let go of the champions, as in we don't need them to be back as they already have done what they need to do. But also I didn't want them to be completely gone from the game and only know them through easter eggs and references.
Like yeah TotK is a sequel to BotW but its more so "ok botw was a rough draft, THIS is the story we wanted to do" and it turns out to have inconsistencies. Zelda mentions the Calamity a few times, there are tombstones to placed around Hyrule commemorating people who lost their lives by the Calamity. But the Sheikah technology is completely gone, the towers that were there for eons are gone. I feel like the towers could've been an easy fix to explain why they are gone like "oh these chasms appeared and collapsed the towers, so now we built these new towers in replacement."
Like with Majora's Mask being separate but also a follow up to Ocarina of Time works because. While yes they are using the same characters and same game mechanics. They are using a whole different world/setting that is different from OoT. Where it excuses using the same characters and same game mechanics, cause it has a complete different story but is consistent on where it left off with Ocarina of Time. I honestly thought TotK was going to take place mostly in the skies than in the surface. Since they kept hyping people up with the teaser trailers and then we had SkSw HD being released. Like yeah it will be like some glorified version of SkSw
When I was reading the interviews Nintendo uploaded a few days before TotK's release and saw Fujibayashi say ,"We put in some effort to make sure that it feels comfortable for both first-time players and those with experience of the previous game." In the back of my mind I questioned a bit this cause I mostly asked myself "isn't this a sequel?" but then I reassured myself that they'll probably would reexplain certain things about the previous game and what happened in the story for new comers. But not to this extreme
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About the whole "Fyodor-switch personality" thing: We don't have enough information to confirm whether it was real or fake right now, and besides, both possibilities are really interesting.
If the switch was real and Fyodor was lying to cover it up (...because 'you know characters can lie, right' could mean... this part of it was the lie too...), that could easily be made a reference to Dostoevsky's The Double, as I was kindly made aware of. We've also already had an image of a young woman who looks like Aya from potentially a long time ago, given the outfit and that it is Bram's memory we're presumably seeing there, which may tie in interestingly with "what year is it?" The knife he pulled out also is genuinely a unique design for the series, and looks like it might be an old make. If this original is very old, then something in the takeover of personalities may explain why he hasn't seemed to age. Fyodor being a separate personality created from his ability and kicking out the original could tie in with his ability not attacking him in Dead Apple. This also raises more questions about Fyodor's motives, and I think opens the path for some pretty fascinating theory making. It also places Fyodor as something both human and not... intriguing for the ongoing theme of humanity in the series.
If the switch was a fake and Fyodor was being a completely hilarious little shit (which, we know the Joker is part of his inspiration and he is often contrasted with Dazai, Nikolai, and Mori, for whom this kind of behaviour would be expected - it's characterization, that's not 'done for no reason'), it would quite possibly be the funniest thing he's done in the series so far. But! More importantly, it strengthens Fyodor's connection with the Book (or rather, with altering the narrative). He's told a lie that sounds completely ridiculous but makes sense given the world and situation he's in - and notably, could fool Sigma... and the readers. Fyodor also managed to change the lightness of his eyes without changing the state of his soul - something that no other character seems to be able to do. (I know Dazai can feign the shocked expression, but that's not the clear lightness we saw in Fyodor's eyes in this panel. Nikolai's eyes change lightness but that actually seems to be genuine.) While this doesn't help us discern anything more about Fyodor's motives, it does emphasize his expertise at information manipulation - we cannot trust a single thing this character says, not just in universe, but out of it too. We, the readers, cannot listen to Fyodor and take anything he says as supporting evidence for theories. If this is true - that's fascinating. The other characters will have to solve the mystery of this man completely indirectly, and so will we.
Of course, there is the secret third option: it was a lie mostly, but there is an element of truth to it somewhere, which is actually par for the course for BSD as a whole. It is very rare that a character turns out to be lying completely. The question then becomes "what part is true and how much is it true", which is also very compelling. This, personally, is what I'm ascribing to for now until new info comes up.
Anyways, the last thing I wanted to point out is that if it was genuine, then remember The Double was inspired by Hohol's works, and if it was a lie, then that is very similar to the bait-and-switch performances that Nikolai has done multiple times in the series. Either way, it implies some influence on Fyodor by Nikolai and of course vice versa, which probably means the return of the clown (finally!) and more focus on their dynamic, which is a funny thing to show Nikolai having apparently had influence on Fyodor (even if in more of a meta way) as he is actively trying to kill him right now.
Love wins/loses?
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