#i genuinely feel really weird now

[icewindandboringhorror]

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!! To this elderly bapy boye!!! he...!!!

#cats #ghhbbb this is the first time I've genuinely considered tumblr blazing a post lol but no.. i shant.. I feel too weird putting financial #information into tumblr or whatever unless I made like a seperate bank account or something not associated with anyhting else lol #but I gave it serious contemplation which is really sayng something (the evil magical spell that all cats cast over u by their perfection) #ANYWAY.................... old man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #it's technically like march 8th but I did his party a little early. I have other pictures to post later maybe too..hrmm #The '1' candle is actually a '4' candle with the side part cut off because they didn't have any 1s #I went all out (like under $15 still lol) and got new birthday decorations for him instead of using the same old #ones from the past like 5 birthdays that I've done for the cats lol.. #His theme was rainbows mostly in as light of colors as I could find #The legal age to drive a car in the US is 16 so.... honk honk beep beep.. I shall go out and buy him the most expensive car on the market #as soon as March 8th comes. then he can run little errands (probably mostly getting kibbles or chicken somewhere) #stealing the rotisserie chickens from walmart or something lol #AND they would let him have them. He would drive up and walk inside and they'd call the manager to come over #and they would be so moved by his presence and his big goofy stare that they would just be like..... okey.. have all the chicken in the #entire store. Actually. have the store. it's yours now. And This would continue all the way up the chain until he was handed #the entire walmart company. And every other company. a boy who owns everything. probably wouldnt use it for evil. he'd just abolish #everything and then focus on eating chickens.. ........ chibken son...

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!' #hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭 #okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends' #then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

[fluentisonus]

working full time with normal hours has convinced me more than ever that actually high school Could have been a sane & even enjoyable time for me if it weren't for the homework. sick & twisted tbh

#i spent all of high school continually behind on my work/desperately trying to make it up/getting ~4 hrs of sleep a night/full of #guilt over it/feeling like i was losing my mind/not eating properly/trying to do my hw at lunch/etc etc whatever #& now I'm waking up/going out about the same time as i was & getting home only a little later and i have None of that i have to do & I'm #eating regularly & sleeping like 8hrs a night I'm looking back on that like what the fuck. that was so fucked up & evil i had to go through #all that. what the hell. #<- i mean i sort of knew this but i genuinely thought getting up early/spending so long at school/etc was also a major contributer #but like. it's literally not. I can do all that just fine when i ferl like a normal sane healthy person. it was literally just the hw. #hw is evil fr. what are we doing to our kids etc etc #thoughts #I say regular hours bc i have worked full time before but it was w such weird hours I couldn't really make the comparison

[northern-passage]

one thing i find really difficult about navigating the IF space is the direct line of contact between readers and authors. we share the same space, and i think that plays a big part in this weird blurred line we have in this community and overall lack of boundaries.

for a lot of people this is a fun hobby and while i personally try to keep it... semi-professional most of the time, it's easy to get wrapped up in having fun on tumblr (or the forums, or reddit, wherever it is that you mainly post/interact) and have a lot of personal interactions with both readers and authors alike - which is fun! i like it more often than not, but i also think that's why a lot of comments in this space can end up being really entitled, over-familiar, and inappropriate.

it's no secret that most authors get really weird messages on here, and while this is also a problem on social media at large and not just specific to IF tumblr, it is still definitely a big problem in this community.

and to be clear i'm not saying that you can't be friendly with authors or readers (i've become friends with a handful of readers myself) and i definitely don't mean to imply that there needs to be a huge divide between us; that's silly - again, most authors are readers, most readers are authors, we’re just people on the internet sharing the same space. but all of us deserve to have our boundaries respected. this is my story, and we are strangers. as a general rule of thumb: if you wouldn't say it out loud to someone you just met, you probably shouldn't be saying it to a stranger online. especially anonymously.

#i also think this is why some criticisms get so messy in this space as well #authors should not always be in the same space as the readers/reviewers #and readers shouldnt be able to directly @ authors with their extremely negative reviews esp when it's subjective #(‘’i hate this’’ as opposed to pointing out genuinely harmful content or other criticism) #for everyone's sake #& on a kinda related note: speaking as someone who has been receiving targeted harassment for *checks watch* over two years now #some people really need to reevaluate the way they interact with certain media #i think IF feels very personal due to the interactivity and the customization of the mc #but not everything is written for you. and it's fine to just not like something #without sending weird harassing anonymous messages for 2 years straight to a stranger on the internet. lol #honestly criticism is another can of worms and that's not really what i'm talking about here #but i do think that's also part of the entitlement and overfamiliarity as well #so imo it's connected a little bit. something to think about #at the end of the day my advice to other authors about this is to know your limits and know when you need to extract yourself #and know that you don't have to respond to every ask #especially if it makes you uncomfortable #and im definitely not trying to sound like the authority here this is something i've struggled with as well #like i said it is hard to navigate #and authors can be guilty of this too. wanting to defend yourself or insert yourself into conversations where you shouldn't #i've done that myself #and i've also had other authors i dont know be way overly familiar with me in the past #all of this is just an unfortunate part of online community i think. but im trying to be more mindful about it #anyways. this post brought to you by the weird messages in my and my friends' inboxes lately #i just think you should not be telling authors about pesonal bodily functions in anonymous asks #as an example. lol #personal

[godsfavoritescientist]

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

#ford meta #actuallyautistic #everyone go read the wikipedia page for 'stilted speech' right now #long post #ford isnt very good at masking. he doesn't have the kind of (unintentional) autistic coding that is Palatable To Neurotypicals. #definitely looking-too-deeply-at-a-kid-cartoon right now but in *some* ways. a world where the majority of people think its easy to like an #-understand ford is a world that would feel safe for me to unmask in. #i truly truly hate that fully explaining my thoughts on ford requires me to say so much about myself. but god is it such a crime- #-to use a fictional character as a lens through which to try and explain to people how to be more understanding and accepting- #-of things like this. #making fun of stilted speech is so normalized that people don't even realize they're making fun of someone for being weird. #people think its Someone Thinking They're Better Than You but its something people lay awake at night wishing they could stop doing. #and yet they still end up using the Wrong Words and being labeled a Pretentious Asshole just for talking differently than the norm. #maybe there really are people out there who deliberately use big words to try and sound smarter than everyone else. I don't know. #all I know is. in a world where its pretty obvious that people who use a discongruently complex vocabulary get made fun of for doing that. #why would someone deliberately trying to impress people do something that would only get them laughed at. #sorry for being genuine on main. as if its my fault </3

[sapphosclown]

i love stalking the dnp tag after every gamingmas video because it’s just everyone going “yay video!wait wtf how do you know that leave us alone”

#they’re back in their giving the people what they want era but now they’re gay #but is this really what the people want #because i’ll tell you i didn’t not want them pointing out dans ass crack #also the ‘they’re touching!’ bit was actually so funny #tbh pinofs are weird for me to go back and watch bc i too feel a weird time vortex take me over in the process #i genuinely can’t imagine how it makes them feel #dan and phil

[orcelito]

Ok. Real question. How many people Actually have believed in Santa? Bc I never did, mostly bc my dad never bothered with the entire pretense, so the whole concept is just. Really fucking strange to me

Putting an actual poll bc I feel like I'm losing my mind a bit thinking about how apparently widespread it is. Like. It's just so... weird? Why is this the thing people have popularized? It makes no sense.

#speculation nation #polls #like ok my dad's an atheist raised by jewish parents so xmas has never really been a religious sort of holiday to me #we celebrate it bc it's fun to give gifts and spend time with family #but that's... it. #all the lore and mythos of xmas is just so weird to me #like baby jesus etc etc but now here comes saint nicholas with the steel chair! (breaking into your house to eat your cookies #and leave presents Only for the rich kids! why only the rich ones? uhmmm Dont worry about it!) #genuinely speaking my dad's worked at ups my whole life so growing up he'd say he (and the rest of his coworkers) were the real santas #said as a joke mostly bc theyre the ones Actually delivering the packages #but i took it to heart. told people at school that my dad was the Real santa. #no one believed me lol which i found quite frustrating. #but yeah i have never once in my entire life believed in Santa #and im content with that. it seems like such a stupid thing i will be honest. #'what about the magic of christmas' what about the poor kids who dont get gifts & feel abandoned by this all-powerful man? #in fact why do we Want kids to not think it's their parents giving gifts? they cant thank the right people if we trick them. #it's a convoluted setup that makes absolutely 0 sense to me #trust me christmas had more than enough 'magic' for me as a kid just bc of all the cool lights and all the free gifts #dont need some mythological man who can travel the globe in one night and is a professional in B&E #makes no sense for Real. #there was a time with my ex step siblings where me n my sister were told not to spoil the fun for them #so i had to pretend like santa existed as they opened presents marked from him #and even back then i was just thinking 'this is So Dumb' #this is an anti santa zone i guess. me and myself hate the popularized version of this strange strange belief system.

[dashiellqvverty]

we NEED to get weirder (hornier) about royjamie

#royjamie #ppl are a little bit weird about them but we can do MORE #THEYRE very weird and the fic energy doesn’t often match #i’ve burned through just about every amount of d/s dynamic/bdsm/whatever #and i am really scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of quality now #AND so few of them even capture the vibes that feel Right for them. to me. #more s1 era that gets agressive and a little too genuinely mean #more weird messing around with the coach dynamic and blurring of lines with training and sex stuff #there’s a little of that but not the way i WANT #i don’t have anything specific to write tho <3 i will only know what i’m looking for when i see it #r.txt #ted lasso

[writhe]

#TAGS TLDR YOU CAN NEVER TRULY GO HOME BUT DO YOU WANT TO? #writing a little for d&d and having feelings about this #it was really interesting jasper and i were working on some game mechanics and we kept getting stuck at weird parts and it developed into #this conversation where we realized we experience the world #in such fundamentally different ways. like specifically talking about how paranoia #manifests and stuff but even later in a broader sense like our experiences of time and everything is so different #and they'd be like 'well what if this is something that happened to lock' and id be like 'how could that be something that anyone would #experience' and they were like 'oh because i do' #(example here was my character not realizing he had been magically transported and filling in the blank with vague memories of travel but i #was like. are you not acutely aware of every single moment you are awake and in motion even if it is excruciatingly boring. and jasper #was like. 'oh...no. i could be transported from one place to another and if time passed i wouldnt even think about having traveled or not' #which was WILD to me but then we were like 'okay i guess this cannot be something that happened to lock' because i couldnt even fathom that #but like anyway idk we got weirdly deep dive-y about d&d stuff and personal lives and i had big feelings on it bc genuinely i feel like #there are facets and caverns in myself i have only ever touched in storytelling but particularly in this campaign #and i've joked a lot about Lock and other chars in this game being self inserts #but i mean it in a good way #like the ways we tell stories or experience a world we created together is going to be through an extension of ourselves etc #but it's interesting to me to consider the limitations that brings yknow? we all live by such vastly different sets of rules and #understandings #and im writing out some stuff now and im like. yknow. #lock can never truly go home. i can never truly go home. none of us can ever truly go home #home as shifting impermanence home as transience etc #2017 levi is back apparently but hes always been right

[alexclaain]

being asexual, an adult and still never having had sex without wanting to change it, feels fucking lonely at times. Because majority of asexuals I met with similiar experiences as mine were of the sort of "golden star asexual" or whatever and that's just bullshit and I don't want to associate with that crap.

I just feel really really lonely among other asexuals who still, in the end, have more experience than me, because in this society that marks me as the "weird one", the "childish one", because sex is just connected to adulthood and without you're immature in this worlds eyes.

Adding to that, most representation I've seen of asexuals in media has been of the sort that still has (or had) sex - and that's great for them! But I wish people like myself would be more than the weird nerd person or robot sidekick. I wish adults who choose to never have sex would be treated as adults and full fletched humans too.

#also fuck every allo who heard some asexuals explain that part of us have sex #and now enter every relationship with an ace person expecting them to make exceptions #because some wont!!!!!! #and im tired of allos expecting it from the ace peeps who wont!!!! #this is a really fucking personal rant tbh #if any weird gatekeepy person feels spoken to please fuck off #i genuinely love my asexual pals who had or have sex and they deserve the recognition they all get #i just hate being so othered by society as a result of their visibility #but thats SOCIETIES fault and not of my fellow aspec people #claain rambles #asexual #asexuality #allosexuality #asexual discourse #sexuality discourse

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

anyone else ever get struck with a sudden feeling of distaste or being tired of someone who you usually really like/are friends with for literally no reason whatsoever? or is that just me

#like this has been happening with various people all summer #I'll be like... the thought of this person causes negative emotions that are literally directed at nothing #it isn't anything the person has done I just. feel like I don't care and don't really want to put in the effort with whatever friend #which is really weird bc I KNOW if I DO just put in the effort and ignore that random feeling I'll have fun and enjoy myself!! #bc I DO still like my friends actually!!! I just sometimes feel like I Don't and idk why #Lu rambles #this is especially odd when it's the sound guy bc like. not only have I been massively crushing on him all summer #but he's also one of the few people I genuinely have clicked with here. like we get along. it's cool. I've been slightly in love with him #so why do I now have this weird feeling like I want nothing to do with him/don't care #actually I feel extremely ambivalent about just about everyone right now but for some reason especially him #wait maybe it's PMS actually.... the Leave Me Alone Don't Talk To Me Don't Look At Me Don't Make Me Show Up hormones have hit :/ #...that would actually explain several things from the last couple days. I should start tracking it #ok sorry I'm done externally processing my emotions on Tumblr dot com. bye

[eggs-can-draw]

Wanted to draw a bit of isolation, I need to do slice of life more often

#eggs can art #danganronpa #drthh #makoto naegi #so weird to have so little to tag #this was like #genuinely therapeutic to draw #I think I've been getting myself a little too worked up about these. the only reason I started posting every other day was just to keep #myself going and to give myself an easy way to watch my improvement but like. I unno. It almost feels like a Job now #not saying I plan on going on a hiatus anytime soon I absolutely adore creating and doodling and sharing my thoughts and actually having #people who will Listen but like. it kinda started to feel more like an obligation than something I do for fun. this doodle set felt a lot m #ore comfortable to make. nobody to consider and nobody to try and impress. just me and my favorite character. living life. #I think I'm going to try and draw more like that #I want to make something colored next time so we'll see #I really wanna draw him cooking :]

[sequoiareachesforthesky]

So uhm, consider this. After trial 1 ended, Kotoko attacked the guilty prisoners in a specific order based on the percentage of guilty verdict they received (highest was mikoto: 69%, then Mahiru: 55.40%, then Fuuta: 55.08%, and finally Amane: 51%), although in the end she didn't attack Amane, either because she was too tired after fighting both Mikoto and Kazui, or Kazui stopped her, or she just doesn't attack children.

In any case, I wanted to take a look at what might happen if Kotoko gets voted innocent again this trial (which is unlikely but not impossible). She's gonna start by attacking Muu (highest guilty rate queen!! 74%, I doubt she'll be surpassed by someone else before the end of the second trial). Muu, since she can't defend herself, will probably end up in a similar state as Mahiru. Then Haruka will be attacked (well, for now he's the only other one who got a guilty verdict so I'll assume that's how things will play out for now). And here's there's two possibilities: either someone defends him (because he probably won't be able to defend himself against Kotoko), or he gets beaten up just as much as Muu. Seeing how Kazui's verdict is slowly but surely leaning towards guilty, he'll probably only be able defend himself. So we already have two kids on the verge of dying (great!!).

What do you think Shidou will do. Like seriously. He might have been able to keep Mahiru alive, but it's only because she was the only one who got hurt that badly. Plus from a storytelling perspective, the author probably didn't intend to kill anyone between trial 1 and trial 2. But now that we've been warned, someone could definitely die at any moment. And if Shidou has to take care of two dying patients, well he might have to make a choice between who lives and who dies. As he says in Throw down, "someone's value cannot be the same as another", so which life will he value more? Muu's or Haruka's? If he ends up having to sacrifice one to save the other, how will he choose which life is worth saving and which is expendable?

Like I'm genuinely wondering, maybe he would save Haruka since he's more "childlike" (and therefore would remind Shidou of his kids), or maybe Muu because she's technically younger? Idk, Haruka would probably ask to be sacrificed for Muu, but that's assuming he's in a state to talk.

But all of this only matters if Kotoko is voted innocent AND Kazui is voted guilty AND Kotoko would actually attack children. Which, well, none of this is certain yet, but it could happen.

So anyway, I'm voting Kazui innocent because if someone dies, it means we'll have less songs in trial 3, which is just sad :(

#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #shidou kirisaki #muu kusunoki #haruka sakurai #i hadn't participated in votes until now because uuuh I don't feel like i have the right to judge these people #but if a character's life is on the line not voting is even worse #also how can anyone be comfortable voting these people guilty now that we know they basically go through mental torture when we do #“i'm voting them guilty for their own good” does it really work tho :/ #this is the first time i post something on tumblr this feels weird #btw i didn't make this post to convince people to vote kazui inno #i genuinely just wanna know who Shidou would view as worth saving if it ever comes to this kind of dire situation #cause let's be real. this guy doesn't see others as actual people #just as medical records and factors in larger equations

[todayisafridaynight]

any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

#snap chats #no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game #oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH. #id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k #OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think #my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious #rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final #HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE #i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that #i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki #someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it #like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but #i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital #the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe #cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion. #yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3 #its a real head scratcher ... #a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think #it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little #and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened' #im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways.... #sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly #idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me #THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED #i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell #is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form #i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments #BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow #im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#tis i! tragic daughter one of three! #motherless at age 26 #the last wake was today and this was more fun than the 1st. more casual. my moms childhood friends were there #ans it was fun to catch up with my uncle and his side of the family #i feel so weird tho. bc ppl r asking how we r and like genuinely i feel fine most of the time #like my sister is like: i sacrificed so much for my mom and i saw her downslide into death #and im like yea i fucked off to [redacted state] and showed uo after the horrible part was over #and bc im finally on medication i really feel better than i have possibly ever. so its just weird #weird to br at my mother's wake and think: god ive wasted so much fucking time being miserable. i dont want to do that anymore #and i feel like thats an option now. i mean ill always be frustrated by the same things. the difficulty reading and focusing #and the lack of social ease. but it feels like less of a big deal now #i say that now before im entrenched in school again. but idk. its just weird #but idk i love my mom but there was distance there and i have weird insect brain which i think makes it hurt less #i dunno. maybr ill feel it more later. when im on my own again #its just that i never reached out to her. i didnt realy on her and she didnt reach out to me so now things won't change much #i dunno. well see #unrelated

[velvettvomit]

oh shit its been over a year since i publicly came out as a necrophile

#velvettvomit #my irls were a bit hesitant at first but over the course of the year and w the proper amount of education theyve come 2 terms w it or #are in some ways trying 2 accept it #they ask me questions all the time and its really honestly so endearing 2 see the genuineness behind each question #some people have obviously treated me ALOT differently and now just overall dont speak 2 me but its fine no hard feelings im very happy #also this isnt something i will ever shut up about im not ashamed #and yes im fully aware this is a mental illness but its not something i can control nor should i be made 2 feel bad about something #AND FOR THE RECORD THIS ISNT A PHASE AND ISNT SOME WEIRD ONLINE BS