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hestiashand · 10 months

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12, 16 and 22 for naruto n sasuke ^_^! (also if u feel like it can u explain why u don't like deidara? id love to hear it 👀)

this ask game

HAHAHAHAAA okay i’ll explain the deidara thing first. at first i was just annoyed by him but as time went on and he kept showing up i grew to dislike him more... when he got reanimated after i thought he was dead for good that’s when the true hater in me took over LOL literally the reasons i hate him aren’t even deep LOL he just kept showing up which fuelled my anger ajshsksj okay so the reasons i hate him is because he’s annoying to me first and foremost, all his quips and ramblings are dreadful and i think he’s incredibly childish, his fights are all boring to me and are so genuinely a drag to get through (all he does is stand on his bird and monologue for 5 minutes before blowing something up….. IT IS NOT FUN TO WATCH, EVEN THE EXPLOSIONS ARE BORING), and i’m tired of seeing this guy. yeah that’s it. nothing truly deep he just annoyed me and then kept coming back and coming back and coming back….. i got too annoyed by it aksgsjsgjssh

naruto

12. sexuality hc?

gay, although i enjoy bisexual headcanons. i’m not very passionate about him having to be gay, it can go either way. i just genuinely think (outside of his “crush” on sakura… but lets be real what did he actually like about her) he doesn’t show any interest in women… like he’s never interested in peeping on them with jiraiya or konohamaru, he fully tells jiraiya that he doesn’t have to be worried about falling for a woman cause “that doesn’t apply to him” and he “doesn’t really get the whole woman thing”, he’s also not interested in the harem jutsu at all, he just uses it to get by and has no intention of progressing it… although konohamaru puts in all this extra effort to make it better and better…. yet what did naruto practice more than the rasengan… that’s right the REVERSE harem jutsu… hmmmmm…………

16. a childhood head canon?

i’ll add a couple others because i think about naruto at all times, but here’s a couple other answers too! i hc naruto to bleach his hair… so when he’s super young he has black hair hehe.. i think he keeps up on bleaching really well though (which is why you never see him with roots in my drawings) HOWEVER i do think that when he goes on long missions and doesn’t have the access to his stuff his roots start growing in a little bit.. so if i ever draw him on a long mission for w/e reason and he has roots.. that’s why :3 also i like to think naruto has a pretty strong stomach.. since he was never given enough money as a kid to be able to buy enough food until his next pay i think he would do a combination between foraging and digging thru trash… and i don’t think he’d properly wash the stuff he foraged and he definitely ate some spoiled food that was thrown out… uhm he was probably sick a lot as a kid cause of that but i think he kinda built up a bit of an immunity so as he got older he could tolerate more. uhm if you’re thinking about the classic episode with the milk my excuse for that is that i also hc him to be lactose intolerant but he doesn’t care and consumes dairy anyways LMFAOOO so everything but dairy his stomach is a champ for ahahsghsgs

22. when do you think they were at their lowest?

hmm.. this one’s slightly hard. i’m inclined to say during the 5 kage arc when realizing the reality of losing sasuke is an actual possibility (after ay denied his plead to forgive sasuke, and he found out sakura was planning to kill sasuke). most of his other lows he was able to power on just by the thought of being able to reunite with sasuke, but this time he was confronted with the fact that sasuke could potentially be killed. if not by sakura then some bounty hunter. HOWEVER i do think another low for him was honestly just his life pre-academy. i would say during the academy because he was still alone friendship wise, but he wasn’t isolated at that point. people were at the very least in his vicinity even if they were mean to him. however pre academy the only interaction he had with people was being screamed at and threatened… hated and glared at for a reason completely unknown to him. he certainly acted out as a way of coping but he was by no means doing okay in the slightest. he even says to iruka in the beginning of classic something along the lines of “there’s no point in going home, no one’s there for me anyways”…. he spent most of his childhood outside being harassed by adults for something he couldn’t even begin to conceptualize rather than being at home because being alone hurt him more…… anyways enough of that i made me sad LOL

sasuke

12. sexuality hc?

gay. just look at the boy. i don’t need to explain this one just look at him.

16. childhood head canon?

uhm we all know sasuke is trans (that’s real btw, not a hc. just fact.) but i figure he probably realized and vocalized it *really* young.. like sometime around age 6 or 7ish… i think he just kinda told everyone he was actually a boy when he first started having thoughts of it and went from there lol… i think a lot of his ‘rivalry’ with itachi and wanting to be like him/better than him is based off a bit of jealousy from always being undeniably a boy and not having to try to be acknowledged as one…. (that said i do think his family was all very accepting. specially mikoto.. and tbh i think itachi was very happy about it too. on that note i think itachi was the first he told. then his parents at dinnertime). also i like to think that sasuke is really good at identifying flowers and wildlife cause he would pick flowers for mikoto as a kid.. and she’d tell him all about them.. they would go on picnics and walks and she and fugaku would do the same then with any animals or plants they felt like pointing out/whatever sasuke or itachi would ask about… ofc as time went on they got to do this less and less because they became.. busy. uhm. but i think they used to when they were younger! it also branches into a non-childhood hc which is that sasuke ends up tending to a garden of his own when he’s older…. he’s familiar with that kinda stuff from his childhood c: plus the sharingan is very good at identifying plants and any issues/pests on them.

22. when do you think they were at their lowest?

definitely right after the massacre for this one.. unfortunately sasuke has a lot of lows but tbh those to me don’t quite compare to the tragedy of becoming alone and being betrayed after being loved so gently…. i mean every single person he loved and was close to was just brutally murdered by his brother.. the person you’re supposed to be able to relate to and trust and cling to most in the whole world… on top of that he’s then told that he means nothing to his brother and he’s too pathetic to even kill….. then he’s forced to watch his brother kill his parents and his clan over and over and over again for days (to sasuke)… and then he’s left completely alone for the first time. he has to learn how to care for himself after experiencing the most guttural loss of his entire life.. he doesn’t know how to cook for himself, he doesn’t know how to care for himself, and he has absolutely no one to guide him because the only person in konoha that is supposed to look over sasuke’s care doesn’t even want sasuke alive. he has to do this all while working through severe trauma and depression while on his own for the first time in his life. all this to also be dealing with the manipulation and mind games instilled into him by itachi… forcing him to not be able to process or attempt to heal from the uchiha genocide, but to use it to fuel his anger for itachi… yeah…… he was definitely at his lowest while he was new to being all alone as a child. i need to lay down…

#augh……… my lonely boys when they’re all alone..#they choke me up..#thanks for asking about their lowest times.. 😔😔 i could talk about their childhood lonliness forever if it didnt make me so sad.. i have #so many thoughts and feelings about them as kids….#eugh..#in another note tho i hope u like my silly deidara beef #it’s essentially baseless but the anger is real ahskshsksj #ask and i shall answer #kyghostly

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blazingenigma · 4 years

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the height of my cat phase reached a peak when i wanted my last words before i die to be meow

#cats #emo #middle school #yikes #meow #i mean #like im not joking #dont be all like #everyone clapped #i genuinely thought id tell the peeps i love them #and then just as i was about to dip from this mortal plane #id say meow #this is why i was bullied #no cap

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survivormetaverse · 3 years

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Episode 1 - "I know the game will pick up eventually" ~Shaad

chile lemme not get thrown out for making all these stan twitter bitch references I'M LICHERALLY HARMLESS I DON'T MEAN MOST OF WHAT I SAY DKJFHASJKLDG

ngl tho i'm kinda shitting myself over these challenges bc i don't wanna get tossed on the first round JKAHFSJKDGHJ my ant eye et tea is through the ROOF

oh girl, first impressions? ngl, the gays and girls here seem quite lovely, hopefully they won't have to carry me the entire time LMAO

Okay like the only person I like/talked to is Jodi but she seems like a smart cookie so ima sleep with one eye open. But idk I'm ready to put on my fake ass smile and my fake ass kind words and get through this part. It's interesting with 6 people per tribe like if we lose I don't have that solid "core" yet but theres a chance that it would be me, jodi, amy because we were the first three on and active so idk. the immunity challenge is cool, the hunt challenge is cool too. im not good at timed puzzles, so I don't think I'm gonna go for it but a part of me feels like everyone across the tribes isnt gonna do it becsuse theyre scared so thats a good opportunity to sneak in and play with less people against me? idk idk idk ahhh

🎶Oh my god we're back again🎶 Hey peeps!! :DDD Here I am againnnn, how fun! Tbh I forgot this was today lowkey and Dylan reminded me and I was like oop 😳 also I am so sorry to everyone that I cannot help but sprinkle the fact that we are now dating in all of my first convos bc IM VERY GAY apologies✨ for how often I'm mentioning it I mean 😂 My tribemates seems so cool, Jennifer and Babs are newbies but seem up to the challenge, Jay A and Colin already giving off immaculate vibes✨ Me and Dyl are hosting Ingary in a month and I do have like work and everything so I don't know exaclty how active I'll be in this game/ how far I'll make it but we'll see won't we!!

not me being a leader of whateva

it's the lack of reading comprehension for me (that was shade directed towards myself)

In the fools tribe !!! Moth is in my tribe which is good because we have played together before. The immunity challenge is divide and conquer! So I believe I will be doing the endurance one. I think I’ll be okay... and the hunt announcement is a good twist !!! I’m not sure if I’ll participate in the first one.. but I’ll probably change my mind. ANYWAYS, I’m ready to kick some ass

Hey guys it's me Brayden and I am so here. I'm so excited to be playing again and stuff and I have already predicted the future that I'll be the winner. Anyways I was at an award ceremony for like the first 3 hours of the game which is kind of scary bc I feel like I missed alot but I'm trying to talk to people and stuff and see what's going on. I've briefly talked to Jodi, Amy, and Ginnifer (who is so hard to talk to btw I like send her messages trying to start a real conversation and she will just respond being like same or something). Anyways the other 2 people on my tribe are offline rn so ig I missed my chance to talk to them tonight so I'll do that tomorrow. Anyways I signed up to do counting and I'm so excited bc I literally KILLED the counting challenge on Kyoshi Islands so I'm so excited to hopefully kill it again. I also decided to play the hunt challenge even though I only have 3 chances bc I'm hoping alot of people will be scared to use one of their three chances to play in the first round and I can have a better chance of winning it. But I think I'm bad at puzzles. I didn't think it through that hard I think I got excited to play a challenge but whatever I'll probably win the advantage then in a few weeks win the whole game anyways see u later.

SO its the morning after the premiere!! Everyone's settled in!! and I kinda don't know how to feel?? Overall the premiere was kinda quiet, nothing happened worth noting tbh. Everyone on the tribe showed up, so thats good, but i think we're all just feeling each other out at the moment as for the people on my tribe! everyone seems chill but also i can't put my finger on it but SOMEHOW this tribe radiates chaotic energy. I don't know HOW or WHY but I just know it DOES. The way we're interacting in the tribe chat it seems like there's a very wide range of personalities and vibes. They're either gonna complement each other or clash, and I guess we're just gonna have to wait to find out which one!!! here are my quick night 1 first impressions that no one asked for :) Anastasia - she showed up kinda late bc she had life happening, understandable. BUT she kinda just jumped right in and started vibing with everyone!! so I think she's gonna be a strong social player. I talked to her and she seems really funny, I think I might really get close with her if I'm able to talk to her more Babs - IF our tribe does end up being chaotic, it's going to be because of Babs. They're definitely the most talkative and prominent person on the tribe, but I think they might come off as messy to others. they're really funny though!! so again I can see myself wanting to work with them if I can get to know them more. They are the biggest question mark on the tribe for me currently Elle - AH. I LOVE THEM ALREADY. Within minutes of us talking they mentioned Dylan and then I found out that they're DATING and I was SCREECHING. cutest shit i've ever heard. I'm so excited to meet and play with them. Dylan is one of my fave people in the org community so ofc I wanna get to know Elle and connect with them as well!! Jay - I think Jay seems like just a very genuine open person?? Like we talked for quite a while yesterday just about games and he was asking me questions about my experience with them and all that. idk if it's because he sees me as a threat or if its because he just actually wanted to get to know me. He lowkey gives me heterosexual vibes and idk if thats true or not but idk how to bring it up. but I def wanna keep talking to him and getting to know him!! I think he might be someone I can form a genuine friendship with Jennifer - kinda have no opinion so far. I think shes the quietest on the tribe. at least for me I didn't get the chance to hear from her much. kinda gives catfish vibes. kinda gives early boot vibes. idk. we'll see what happens!

Not too much yet tbh. Just finding my footing. People are loving my energy so hopefully they’ll keep me around

So i realized Amy is runner up from the season before mine in another org and so we connected over that... of course we are not going to tell anyone else but we did have that going for us to get started. brayden is only 16 but he told me he loves magic and wanted to learn more about it so i told him id teach him some stuff! dennis and i called and connected well BUT hes kinda playing SUPER hard and wanting to throw challenges already to vote people out.. this has never worked out for anybody!! josh is cool, he works at a grocery store so he's gonna kill the "b" challenge. ginnifer has been the most MIA but i have faith that we'll work together well for the popularity contest. yall know i cant play the reverse flirt game i so badly want to coin, but i do have romance tea for yall tomorrow. stay tuned........

Jay and I talked last night so i guess we're best friends. We decided to make an alliance and try to get Elle in it. But everyone has been pretty inactive besides Jay and Collin. I've only slightly talked to Jessica this whole game and Babs hasn't even said one thing to me and I texted them hi. And apperently Babs has left Jay on opened too so they might just suck at talking right now. Hopefully Babs will talk to me they seem so funny and cool D:

I won endurance 👑!!!! Hopefully the fools tribe wins this!!!! I played against Jennifer and Dennis. I could see myself playing with Dennis down the line if we merge. I haven’t talked to anyone but Moth. So I messaged my whole tribe Introducing myself. Hopefully things work out for me!

Thoughts after the first 24hrs: https://youtu.be/I62bDSzgf68

You hear something ??? Same. Why is my tribe so quiet 😂😂😂😂 I’m trying to read off the vibes but I see nothing.

I really love my tribe and the fact that they don’t know I played last season is a good strategy to play on my end

tbh i wish we lost i wanted to go to tribal and vote one of these people out :(

Welp we got second place in the first challenge :| which isn't bad!! But it's not first place 😂😂. But I had a fun day taking pictures so whateverssss. I said I would be chaotic in this game but the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet... Guess we'll have to wait and see✨

I think at this point, my team is shady and won't say anything to me so I am nervous.

The challenges were way harder than I thought. I didn't do well at all and let my tribe down. I feel like I will be the first to get voted out if we have a tribal hearing.

We lost yay. I had a feeling. Hopefully the tribe will keep me around for now since I won endurance.... lhsisowjshwowpwpwheowowhfiwpqpqpjw. Jared thinks we can vote Bri out. Which I’m fine with, I haven’t really talked to her at all. Jared and I are going to message the others and see where everyone’s head is at. Honestly I don’t care who goes home as long as I’m safe. Everyone is quiet which is so annoying. Blahhhhhhhhhh

Well it’s my 3rd time playing and it’s not off to the best start, no one seems to be talking to anyone. And we lost meaning we are going to tribal council. So fuck- I have no idea what about to happen. I’m just hoping it’s not me or Jess

if i must confess, my strategy is to have a 4-3-2 alliance. i need a 4 to have a majority, but i dont have a 4 yet. within the 4, theres a three person alliance w me jodi and amy, but within that three i believe that the core 2 is myself and jodi. i really dont care who the 4th is. i like having jodi and amy as an alliance because theyre both doing wayy too much which is great for me :) i dont think any of these people have idols but who knows. i would love to throw the next immunity i wanna go to tribal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looks like we’ve got something good. We’ve got an alliance that’s set to (hopefully) vote out bri due to inactivity. Let’s just pray it works

Trying to talk in this tribe is so difficult In both my other seasons I was pretty quiet all the time It is like that x10000 I was hoping to stay under the radar but that doesn’t work if no one talks at all I suppose it depends on if I’m being played or if everyone just doesn’t talk. I think there’s a plan. Let’s hope it goes well

OKAY SO. Moth, Jared and I have a little alliance going on. We are set on voting out Bri. I just talked to Danny and Shaad and they are down with voting Bri out. I have high hopes that I’ll be safe at tribal.

Better communication.. in sticking with that fact, our communication in my team could be better and we need to put more effort into what we do, I believe in us!

https://youtu.be/595h7hmL6VY

The start to this game has been a freaking snails pace...it’s unbelievable to me that these people do not want to talk that much, especially when it’s a tribe of 6. Colin and I talk the most, I’ve gotten a decent amount out of Anastasia, and to me it feels like those 2 wants to work with me and I am fine with working with them. Usually in a larger group you want to figure out who you can work with long term and use the first few tribals to establish trust, I may throw that out the window since there’s only 5 other people on this tribe. My strategy needs to be who the hell can get me past these first few votes before a swap happens, and I feel like I can rely on Colin and Anastasia for that. I’d like to pull in Elle, because she’s the one who’s talked to me the most out of her, Babs, and Jennifer. Everyone seems nice, but it would be lovely if people would be more active.

I’m enjoying the fact our tribe won the first challenge everyone is very nice I love it :)

This round has been pretty smooth sailing. I know the game will pick up eventually but for now, we are just going with the flow as a tribe

https://youtu.be/UZVzZ6d6GRU

ok so apparently ginnifer isn't famous. she's just a bit quiet and mysterious. ok with me, just gonna take a while because I'm a loud and outspoken person (and player). amy, dennis and I have an alliance called "fang gang" (it's really just 3 emojis of vampires) and we're going to run the premerge hopefully. I do like brayden a lot, and maybe I'll propose a 3 with him, amy and myself to have a solid 4 control the votes until a swap. round 1 not bad so far!

~~~

Edgics:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jodi: I believe Jodi is thriving on this tribe. She is very obviously a social player who picks up on the littlest details. I’m sure she can sniff out a plot if it comes down to it. However, Jodi is the plot. She is the leader of her tribe and is easily the most active person in the game at the moment. So long as she keeps a smile on her face and doesn’t overextend to do something messy, she will find that she will make it safely to merge. Allying with Amy could be dangerous however since Amy has stated she needs to be voted out before a certain date. This means that Jodi needs to socialize with other members of her tribe and get new allies before hers will inevitably be voted out of the game.

Amy: Even though she wants to get voted out, Amy has set herself up perfectly at Jodi’s side. She can take the heat off of herself using Jodi and is able to hide better than others. As always, her UTR game has come out to shine. She hasn’t had anyone call her out and even though Jodi has seen her play she is still able to gain her trust.

Josh: Doing so well in the challenge has earned Josh’s place here. He makes his worth known early and has a great personality as well. This makes him very safe for any early tribal councils as no one is going to want to take him out; they want him on their side. Similar to Amy, he just seems to be using an under the radar social game which he is executing well at the present moment. And, as the star of the challenge, he makes himself safe for future tribals before the swap. However, I do fear that this early impression of competition prowess will come back to haunt him if he makes it to the merge.

Dennis: I would put Dennis higher, but Jodi, his ally, already is suspicious of him. She seems to think of him as a bit of a sneak and, as the tribe leader, her opinions matter the most. It is good that he is able to be Jodi’s ally so she might stray away from voting him out. However, his desire to go to tribal and play the game so early may bite him in the butt later down the line. I can definitely see him being called out for trying to play too hard too fast. At the moment, he remains high because he seems to be decently social and no one except Jodi has sniffed him out.

Brayden: There’s not much to say on Brayden’s game. He doesn’t seem to have any allies, his challenge performance wasn’t as good as others on his tribe, and he is not in any alliances yet. This spells disaster for Brayden if his tribe goes to consecutive tribal councils. Additionally, even though he was one of the few to play in the Hunt, he didn’t win and wasn’t even close to doing so. He even gave up part way through to do the immunity challenge. I would be saving them if I were Brayden, but hindsight is 20/20. If Brayden can squeeze into being the fourth of the Jodi, Amy, Dennis alliance instead of Josh then maybe his game forecast will be better.

Ginnifer: The thing that lands Ginnifer on the bottom is that she said that her tribe could vote her out if they lost the challenge. This primes people to already be willing to get rid of her in this game. Additionally, some people have expressed difficulty with talking to Ginny such as Jodi and Amy. The former still wants to give Ginny a try at being an ally while the latter was ready to vote her out if necessary. Ginny just needs to pick up social steam and outperform in the next comp if she’s going to have longevity in this game.

Fools

Jessica: In lieu of a clear leader, Jessica has stepped up as she started the first alliance on her tribe with Moth and Jared. No doubt, Jessica’s prior relationship with Moth helped facilitate. Additionally, this seems to paint them as the “active” members of this not active tribe. Therefore, it will be very easy for Jessica to dictate votes without getting labelled as a threat since her tribe is not active enough to do so. I can definitely see her leaning on Moth as a crutch, but for now she is the topdog of her tribe. Especially so since she was the only member of her tribe to win a challenge in Divide and Conquer.

Moth: As Jessica’s right-hand person, Moth is a secure spot. It also helped that they have played this game before and is on a not active tribe. This vibes well with Moth’s gameplay style since they aren’t a social powerhouse like Jodi or Colin. Instead, she keeps it more lowkey which makes this tribe in particular a great tribe for her to thrive in.

Jared: While he hasn’t provided a confessional yet, it’s clear he’s positioned himself well with Moth and Jessica. As the topdogs of the tribe, they are key people to get in with. Besides that, he seems to be a little more active than some others, but there’s not much else to say as of right now.

Danny/Shaad: Him and Shaad can trade spots on this ranking because they are playing similar games at the moment. They are both quiet and inactive, yet are not part of the core alliance of this tribe. This could spell danger for them in upcoming tribal councils if they don’t start working on people now. They seem to be safe for now based solely on Bri’s inactivity, but, otherwise, they need to pick up their socio-strategic game before it is too late.

Bri: She seems to be the most likely person to get voted out. She was not online at all for the first two days of the game and has since remained inactive. She is easy pickings for the top 3 of this tribe which really hurts my heart. I know her in real life and she is very sociable and easy to get along with. I have no doubt that in a real life game of Survivor or Big Brother, she would kill the social game.

S.E.E.S.

Colin: Similar to Jodi, Colin is the most social person on his tribe at the moment. However, unlike Jodi, he has not taken a leader position which works to his benefit. Despite being social, Colin has been able to slip under the radar of most people with a lot of them wanting to work with him. Colin is easily going to survive until the swap, but I will caution him from getting too many allies too quickly. This tribe in particular has a wildcard willing to blow things like that up so he needs to be careful.

Elle: Similar to her previous games, Elle plays an extraordinary social game and becomes very well-liked very easily. They have no problem fitting into any situation and I foresee them making it far if they gain the right allies. What puts her at number 2 as opposed to number 1 is that she hasn’t made any strategic comments yet. Instead, she is focusing on a social game which is not a bad thing. Colin has just shown more of his gameplay in these rounds.

Anastasia: Anastasia, despite being late to the premiere, has been able to socialize with key people such as Colin and Jay. Her prior connection with Elle has also sparked an interest in Colin in working with the two of them as an alliance. Overall, her and Elle sort of share the 2 and 3 spot since they are both well-liked, did well in the challenge, and are prime allies for Colin whose word will feel like law if this tribe ever goes to tribal.

Jay: Jay is neither here nor there. He isn’t in the bottom, but he is not calling the shots either. It is good that Colin wants him as his number 1 and that Anastasia likes him. Out of the three outside of this potential Elle, Colin, Anastasia alliance, he seems like he will be most likely to be saved until a swap occurs. His calls with people have certainly been helping with that as people are able to bond more with him through there. His activity could use work, but he doesn’t need to be active if he’s liked.

Babs: With another Jodi comparison, Babs has taken the leadership position of their tribe. However, they are not as social and, in fact, considered a big threat since they are so willing to talk freely and openly in the tribe chat. Their gameplay is going to be Messy, and people have already pointed that out, making them a clear target if this tribe goes to tribal council. Despite that, they aren’t at the bottom since some people, like Colin, have expressed interest in working with that kind of player as a sort of shield. If Babs were to tone it down and be more social with people (another problem with their game), they may be able to crawl up these rankings.

Jennifer: Sadly I have to put another phonetic Jennifer at the bottom. She did the worst in the challenge across her tribe and isn’t active either. For this round, it seems she would be the easy vote if this tribe had gone to tribal. She needs to start being more social and be more of a presence in people’s minds.

#episode #episodes

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smallblueandloud · 4 years

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hi essbie!! you seem super awesome❤️❤️ if you would like to talk to me about the west wing i would love that! i’m watching for the first time now and i’m in LOVE with it- tell me all your thoughts! otps, favorite episodes, arcs, characters... anything!

oh my god, this is my FAVORITE ASK THAT I HAVE EVER RECEIVED EVER. i’m so happy to talk about the west wing because the fandom that’s still alive today seems to be TINY (although high-spirited!!). thank you for asking!! i will endeavor to talk a lot.... which isn’t hard for me, lol.

(psst, before we begin, can i recommend you check out @donnajosh, who posts gorgeous new gifsets of tww pretty regularly [and also has gifs tagged by episode so you can find the right post to reblog when you’re liveblogging, shh], @etraytin, who’s written some AMAZING multichaps that have gotten me through this very stressful week, and @cassiesinsanity, who’s just plain genuinely amazing?? okay. now that that’s out of the way.)

i tried to figure out from your blog where you are in the show, but i can’t find anything more detailed than “probably has finished in the shadow of two gunmen”, so i’m just gonna keep things anti-spoilers. there are some really, really cool plot developments in tww, and i don’t recommend you spoil yourself for things on purpose! but also like. i DEFINITELY spoil things for myself all the time. so what the hell, don’t listen to me lol.

(i tried to put this under a cut, but tumblr glitched. sorry, peeps who don’t care about the west wing. also, WATCH THE WEST WING.)

my ALL TIME, dearest headcanon is adhd josh. i just. i love my boy so much. i love my impulsive, ridiculously-sensitive-to-perceived-rejection, loud, hyperfixated boy so much. i don’t know everything about adhd, but from what i know josh is TEXTBOOK. or at least he’s a lot like me! and i’m reasonably sure i have adhd. so. i’m REALLY, REALLY into that headcanon and everything about it. (i actually wrote a fic in which i wrote him the way i see his adhd presenting, because i love him so much. hmm, i should write a fic about josh being adhd. what kind of stims would josh like??)

i love and adore josh/donna, like many many other people. i like zoey/charlie, just because i think they make each other happy and both of them deserve that. i... like cj/danny? sorta? i think they’re adorable, and they have some REALLY good moments (no spoilers but. oh my god. danny really out here chugging his respect women juice and i love him for it). but also i am EXTREMELY ATTACHED to cj/toby and more specifically cj/toby/andy.

HEAR ME OUT. cj has EXTREME wlw energy and cj and toby have A LOT of married energy but then toby and andy... love each other so much, it’s so clear, in literally everything they do, i don’t know if you’ve gotten to the end of s5 yet but i cry. so like?? obviously, because i am who i am, polyamory is the answer! basically the rundown is: andy and toby are a typical couple except that they fight a lot. cj is kinda in the middle. if gay marriage had been legal / socially acceptable in the 80s (because god knows this ot3 has been thinking about optics since they graduated college), cj and andy would’ve gotten married and toby would’ve come and gone depending on who he’d pissed off recently, and everything would’ve been perfect. instead, andy and toby got married and it didn’t work because they really just couldn’t function as a unit, especially since their getting married meant that cj isolated herself a bit more. definitely cj and toby have a couple of SCREAMING arguments about the whole relationship. idk.

but just like. imagine with me, if you will, cj and toby... not dating, while working in the white house, but being exes. friendly exes. friendly exes who are still in love with each other and know it. please imagine that and then think about “i love you desperately / i know” and “you wanna make out with me right now, don’t you? / well, when don’t i?” and “we had it good there for a while / yeah, we did” and then join me in the pit of sadness.

(sidenote i have a sense8 au for the west wing and the second story is just me being emotional about their cluster for 5k. i have another story vaguely planned that i’ll probably never write about the development of the ot3 and about their cluster and how it functions. but don’t read that story until you finish... the first half of s7? or thereabouts? actually probably you should finish the show before you read the sense8 au in general if you’re avoiding spoilers.)

(when i say “i’ll probably never write”, i mean “until the next time i get obsessed with the west wing”. which will probably be years from now. oh, well, we can all hope the muse actually does something efficient for once.)

so yeah. those are my ships. i know a lot of people shipped josh/sam, but i don’t really see it? sam always seemed Way Too Straight for that to work lol, although i DO like the idea of sam pining tragically for josh for years just like donna does. (can you tell i read such a winter’s day a few days ago? it’s amazing. i haven’t left a review yet because i have not been a human being recently, but go read it!! it’s awesome!!)

also, i love the idea of bartlet/abbey/leo, although i can’t really visualize it lol. but there’s some amazing fic for them out there. maybe one day my stupid brain will realize the angst potential and actually let me write something for them, hopefully within the sense8 au. (sam also has a cluster! and i would love to write about them! .....but my brain doesn’t do what i tell it to. ever.)

my favorite arc.... i don’t know. i really loved the early seasons, which were a little more episodic, but ALSO i actually really liked the tone after aaron sorkin left after s4? it takes some getting used to, but it’s WAY more emotional, and i am ALL HERE FOR THAT. i definitely have a least favoite arc, or at least a least-favorite way-that-they-handled-a-storyline (spoiler alert: i hated how they handled the end of bartlet’s presidency in the white house. like. SHE’S ALL ALONE IN THERE- anyways. trying not to give detailed spoilers!)

favorite episodes: hmm. i love the thanksgiving episodes. i loved any episode with the ainsley-and-sam dynamic. noel is a phenomenal episode. 26 could make anyone weep. the flashbacks are the best. the fucking- the fucking what’s next motif.

honestly, probably i’d have to say my favorite episode is either 4x20 (evidence of things not seen, for “stupidly noble cluster” reasons and cj/toby reasons and bartlet & charlie reasons. also i feel like there’s some good josh/donna there too but i can’t remember exactly?) or 7x21 (institutional memory, because i’m pretty sure the writers reached into my id and pulled out EXACTLY what i needed from them to be okay with the show ending. jesus CHRIST i have never felt so satisfied after an episode. literally everything i ever could have wanted happened in that episode. i’m STILL reeling. it’s a perfect episode.)

my favorite characters are... literally everyone? i know that’s cheating but i love them all SO MUCH (except mandy and amy, of course). josh is my favorite, always and forever, but i love cj more than words and sometimes i can’t breathe for love of toby. leo and bartlet and charlie and sam and donna- here i was thinking i was gonna resent will forever but i LOVE will. ainsley is an amazing woman. abbey is such a good character, god, talk about a flawed woman who’s allowed to be a good person.

AND THEN THEY MADE ME ROOT FOR A REPUBLICAN. again, i doubt you’ve gotten to s7, but the republican nominee in the last election... jesus christ. i love that man so much. arguably, i’m very biased, but also how D A R E they expect me to root against him. how DARE.

(i swear this will make more sense once you meet him. i just love the actor a lot, okay?)

anyways. this got ridiculously long. i would LOVE to talk about the west wing with you, feel free to reblog this with your own thoughts or tag me in your own post or message me or something. i would love to hear your reactions!! it’s such a good show, and such a smart show, and every character is so mcfreaking good at what they do and i adore it. enjoy the ride because there’s nothing as perfect and as quality as the west wing. if you’ll please excuse me, i’m going to go cry about 7x21 again.

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groundramon · 4 years

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So curiouscat has stupid short reply lengths so i had to post this here

Tw for: bullying, fatphobia, discussion of sexual harassment (oh it feels good to have enough characters to write a proper tw)

So it might surprise ppl to know that my favorite frontier character is JP, the raging heterosexual. But like, to me...hes so much more than that. JP is a character that I saw so much of myself in. His social isolation from his peers, leading him to push away others to avoid getting hurt...its not that people outwardly bully him, its that no one sees behind his surface and nobody bothers to truly care about him. People only recognize him as the class clown - no one actually wants to hang out with him. And that...that hit me HARD as a kid. It was the experience i had growing up. I wasn't outright bullied, I just felt...excluded. Judged. I wanted friends but was too afraid of being judged or excluded. And sometimes it caused me to be dismissive of genuinely good people. And quite frankly, that's STILL a problem I have, not even a year after an exfriend of 7 years said that our interests were one of the things driving us apart. My intense fear of being ridiculed for my interests drove me as a kid, and sometimes even now as an adult, to completely stop caring what my peers thought about anything. For all intents and purposes, im a bit of a hipster - i hate on what's popular and i tote my more obscure interests. Because I feel like that's the only way. Obviously i have fairly mainstream interests but lemme tell ya, i went to a christian school in the late 2000s/early 2010s - goddamn pokemon was obscure/counter-culture in a setting like that. But despite my desperate attempts not to care, I DO care, just like JP. It fuckin stung. And now i have depression and social anxiety whoops. Honestly ngl, it got so bad that I genuinely projected that it was implied JP was isolated for being fat/not conventionally attracted, until i was like "wait a minute...frontier didnt go that hard"

But what makes JP such a tragic character to me now is that at the end of Frontier nowadays when i watch it, im left asking myself....DID JP make any friends?

I know JP is a raging heterosexual but quite frankly, he is dealt such a shitty, judgemental hand for an innocent crush. JP's most nsfw fantasy is marrying Zoe and holding her hand, like... And yet, despite this, he's accused time and time again of being a perv. JP is, well, a big fuckin guy. As such, he thinks "its probably a good idea to let all my friends climb up this latter before me, so i dont crush them all if i fall - plus ill look chivalrous too!" But he unfortunately forgets that Zoe has a skirt on and, y'know, not pants. I understand Zoe's hesitation completely - i wouldnt trust a man who kept hitting on me either. Her relationship with JP is completely justified. Like, its not like JP doesn't take no for an answer - he just still has a crush on her. Yes he should probably give it a rest but like, he's 13 and his most nsfw fantasy is to hold hands and marry and respect his crush. Inb4 you say "but its a kids show of course it is-" literally everything about Zoe is sexualized so no the fuck its not lol

What gets me the most though is the beach episode... again, not because of Zoe. She thinks someone has peeped on her (understandable but it was a digimon) and confronts them about it. But koji and takuya IMMEDIATELY suspect JP, and only believe his immediate denial when Tommy points out that JP was with them the whole time. Like first of all, YOU FORGOT HE WAS THERE??? it took the baby of the group pointing that out for you to remember???? Second of all, JP has never done anything to warrant not being believed - again for zoe id understand, a bitch has gotta be weary, but not for the guys? And thirdly, and perhaps most importantly of all, YOU GUYS CONSIDER SOMEONE YOU'D EASILY SUSPECT OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT YOUR "FRIEND"???? i would NEVER be friends with someone who i could see sexually harassing another one of my friends!! What the shit!! I realize they're kids but GEEZ. And i know its implied JP only cares about the perpetrator because he likes Zoe but idc, despite being persistent in his crush JP has literally NEVER done ANYTHING to disrespect women. And if the scene where takuya and jp run into Zoe's changing room to see whats wrong after she screams counts - well lol takuya was there too.

Zoe was dealt a terrible hand by the writers (worse than JP imo) so I understand people being weary of JP, but - in the dub at least - he literally did nothing wrong... dont confuse the writers sexualizing zoe and being misogynistic with JP sexualizing zoe and being misogynistic.

And im gonna say it - JP is only treated this way cuz hes fat lol. Its not a coincidence that the only MC in the digimon anime who's treated like a perv (despite the fact that they failed in writing one, cuz hes not a perv) is the fat guy. Japan LOVES the fat otaku stereotype (America, look what you did, you made it fatphobic) and in JP's case he's treated completely differently because he's fat. Takuya doesn't have an explicit crush on Zoe but just look at how he treats her vs JP. And which one is demonized lmao? Like, frontier has major problems in general, but to me this isnt a coincidence.

Also, I think JP's crush on zoe is initially just flirting/wanting to impress a girl to fill the void in his heart, but then he genuinely comes to respect her and like her for who she is. He likes that she's kind but stands up for herself and even though he's hopelessly infatuated with her, he just wants her to be happy, even if its not with him. He relates to her struggles to fit in despite not understanding how someone so beautiful and charismatic (in his eyes) could be disliked by her peers.

Hackers Memory discussion coming up, but the spoilers are minor/vague. Frank discussion of sexual harassment and...pedophilia i guess? But its like...ephebophilia, not literal children.

I realize the Story games and the anime are two different beasts entirely, and Cyber Sleuth especially is targeted at an older audience. BUT... compare how JP is treated in Frontier to how Chitose and even Keisuke are treated in HM. Chitose goes after countless women and isn't even reprimanded for going after someone he considers a CHILD. To clarify - Ryuji and Chitose both call Arata a child. Arata is canonically older than Yuuko. Chitose flirts with Yuuko. It is gross. Like he gets the physical embodiment of the cold shoulder and you get to insult him for it, but that's not proper reprimanding. In comparison, yes JP is older than Zoe...by a year/grade. But JP gets accused of SEXUAL HARASSMENT BY HIS "FRIENDS" and Chitose just gets "haha good ol chitose, hes a wild one." Plus i think Chitose and JP get the shit smacked out of each other an equal amount of times in the story, which like...one of these people is worse than the other!

Then there's Keisuke, the protagonist of HM, who's significantly better than Chitose but still gets dirty thoughts about Yuuko and is only reprimanded by Erika. And honestly I love Erika but HM plays up the tsundere heterosexual couple aspect. So imagine the only person who calls you out on your shit is your fucking love interest, who also beat the shit out of you with a plush toy for entering her room without knocking, not knowing anyone was in there (id say hes not a playboy but considering he befriends a stranger to practice "getting chicks" at chitose's recommendation, hes totally a playboy) and yet all she does when you start thinking weird shit about Yuuko is be like "hey. Stop that. Get some help"

Also Erika's best friend is chitose so like, someone save this poor girl PLEASE

But my point is that Chitose is conventionally attractive and...well they play up the idea that Keisuke isn't but hes not conventionally unattractive like JP is.

Gee, i wonder why they're treated differently? /s

TLDR: JP drinks respecting women juice and i kin him

#Stormy speaks

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intothedanvers-e · 6 years

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Young, Dumb, & Broke

Word Count: 1820

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Author’s Note: Thank you for all the love on Chapter 1!! I’ll like that below if you want to read that! Sorry this is up so late (its 8:50 pm here) i was busy after class and didn’t get home till now! I honestly didn’t ever think so many people would like my writing so truly all the comments and notes mean the world to me!! Again if you’d like to be part of the taglist let me know! and if you have any feedback pls let me know! Also the italics in the beginning are the other person on the phone, just so no one is confused!

Summary: You just graduated high school and were ready to embark on your last summer of being a dumb teen and going on adventures before having to face the realities of the adult world. One day you were driving to a lake to meet some of your friends when your car broke down in the middle of nowhere. With no service and no gas stations around you wandered a little down the street and found one house where you went to ask for help. You expected to find an old couple living in the middle of nowhere, but a nice young British guy (Tom) answered the door. Due to unforeseen circumstances you spend the rest of the afternoon and most of the night together, but when it’s time to leave he says he wants to see you again. You exchange numbers with the cute British guy and embark on a long, secretive summer fling. You both lie about what you do for a living and what you were both doing in the middle of nowhere, but the moments you too bonded were all genuine. Will he find out about your plans after summer? Will you find out what he actually does for a living? Will this fling extend past summer?

Chapter 1 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 2

“Sorry ma’am but our tow truck is currently out on a job so we can get to you anywhere from 2 to 12 hours from now. Will you be by the car for the next 2 to 12 hours?”

You closed your eyes and sighed. You didn’t want to be a bother and make Tom wait 12 HOURS with you, especially when you two barely knew each other.

“Yeah that’s fine. Do you guys do phone calls before you come? Just so I can send the car off and get a ride home.”

“Yes ma’am we will call this number before we dispatch our truck and once we get word that they are in tow with your car we will also call then to double check. If it gets to you in the next 4 hours you are welcome to come and get a quote for the work, if its after the 4 hours we will simply bring it in and leave it overnight and you can come in the morning to discuss the issues.”

“Okay thank you sir.”

You hung up and leaned your forehead against the wall in front of you. How were you going to tell Tom that the tow truck would be here anywhere from 2 to 12 hours from now? You stood there for a little bit trying to gain the courage to tell him the news. I mean worse scenario he kicks you out and you have to sit in your car for the next 2 to 12 hours. No big deal right? At least that’s what you told yourself to make yourself feel better.

“Any luck?” he said as you walked into the living room. He looked much comfier. He went from skinny jeans and a tight shirt to sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt.

“So good news and bad news.”

You sat down on the other side of the couch, as far away from him as you could. You tried to scan his face for any negative reactions.

“Hit me”, he said with a huge goofy grin glued to his face.

“So they do have a tow truck but its on a job currently and they don’t know when it’ll be back so they said anywhere from 2 to 12 hours.”

You crossed your legs expecting a negative reaction from him.

“Sounds good. At least they’ll get to you. What’s the bad news?”

“The bad news was that you’re technically stuck with me for the next 2 to 12 hours!”

“Oh that’s fine! I think you get the short end of the stick Y/N. Essentially you’re being forced to spend the next 2 to 12 hours with me, an unknown British boy who you thought was a murderer.”

You laughed.

“Only because I’ve seen waaay too many horror movies! None of that was based off of who you are as a person, I promise.”

“That’s fine America is a scary place so I understand the doubts. I take it you haven’t had anything to eat, would you like me to make you something?”

“Oh no please I don’t want to be an inconvenience to you! You just go about your night and I’ll sit in the corner with a good book and you won’t hear a peep out of me.”

“Jokes on you because you see I’m from southwest London darling, I have polite Englishman flowing through my veins so I will treat you as I treat all my guests. I was going to make myself dinner anyway and I usually make too much for myself so I don’t mind sharing. Do you have any dietary restrictions or allergies?”

You were taken aback. He was genuinely being so nice to you, and for some unknown reason it made your stomach flutter.

“Uhh no I just really hate tomatoes but I can pick them out of anything!”

“No tomatoes it is.”

He gave you the sweetest smile and turned on his heels toward the kitchen. You kept checking your messages to see if any of your friends replied, but no luck. You weren’t surprised, you all had a no phones rule for the first of summer bonfire. You were just wondering if any of them noticed you weren’t there, or even really cared. You tried to push the thoughts to the back of your mind. You got up remembering your good ole American manners. You walked toward the kitchen.

“Hey so I have mediocre American manners running through my veins and I just remembered I have a cooler with drinks in my trunk that would otherwise go to waste. So tonight the drinks are on me.”

He turned around and gave you a thumbs up. You powerwalked to your car and took the cooler out of your trunk. Most of the ice was still in tact, which was surprising given how hard the sun was hitting your car just an hour ago. It was 7:30 now and it was the time just before sunset when the sun isn’t as harsh and the wind starts to feel really cool.

You walked into the kitchen rolling the cooler behind you. You had also grabbed a few blankets and your leggings that you could change into so you didn’t have to be in shorts all night. You left those along with your backpack on the floor in the living room. You knelt down next to the cooler in front of Tom, who was about halfway with what seemed like some kind of pasta.

“We have a great selection of 3 different wines, we have a few hard liquors that I don’t think match the occasion, and a few American beers if you want to have a mediocre beer along with dinner.”

“Are you old enough to have that much alcohol in there? I’m only 20 and I don’t think I can even walk into the liquor section of a grocery store!”

“Uhh technically no, but like every good American teen I used a not real ID and got all of this. I don’t drink this all myself okay! It was for a celebration.”

He looked at you concerned.

“Were you going to a birthday party Y/N? Oh my god is it your birthday?!”

“NO! No no, a few friends and I were just having a graduation celebration. I graduated high school yesterday.”

“Congratulations Y/N! Aw man now I feel even shittier that you’re forced to spend this time with me and not your friends.”

“Don’t even worry about it, it’s not your fault anyway. Plus, I think I lucked out on not stumbling upon a murderer in the middle of nowhere.”

“Alright well we’ll start with the wines, then if god forbid we go through all three bottles we’ll do the heavier stuff.”

You took the three bottles of wine and closed the cooler.

“I’ll set these on the table and come and help you finish that up.”

“Are you joking? No you’re the guest and you’re providing drinks, you go take a seat on the couch and wait till Chef Holland calls you okay?”

“Your last name is really Holland?”

“Fuck off.”

You laughed as you walked out of the kitchen. You walked over to the desk with the Spiderman comic on it.

“Do you mind if I read the Spiderman comic while I wait?”

“Go for it!”

You grabbed the comic and laid on the couch, your legs hanging off the arm rest. As you were reading it you realized Tom had written notes on the edges and circled certain boxes. Most of the notes were about certain Peter Parker mannerisms and personality traits. You were so intrigued by his notes, every time you tried to bring up comics to your friends they rolled their eyes and called you a nerd. Most of his notes were things you noticed yourself every time you re-read this comic book.

“Dinner is ready!” he called out in his best American accent.

“You sounded like my aunt Shirley just now,” you said walking into the dining room.

He had made what seemed like a chicken fettuccine in alfredo sauce with a nice bright green salad.

“Just trying out my American accent,” he smiled at you.

“I was really hoping I’d hear you yell something more British.”

“Like what?! Oi Y/N supper is ready mate come get ya crumpets and tea!”

“Perfect!”

The two of you started eating in silence. You remembered the comic you brought with you to the table.

“I think we have more in common than we think Tom,” you said pointing to the comic book.

“Whatdya mean?”

“It might just be because none of my friends are into the nerdy shit I am but while I was reading this all your notes seem like something I could’ve written in there myself.”

He smiled at you and blushed, immediately looking down at his plate.

“Seems like we both have good taste.”

You both finished dinner having some nice casual discussion about comic books. You didn’t get an opportunity to nerd out around your friends so when Tom kept replicating your enthusiasm, you just kept getting more and more excited. You tried to offer to wash the dishes after you finished eating but Tom insisted that he was excited about having a full dishwasher and finally being able to use it. With wine drunk rosy cheeks the two of you walked into the living room after almost a half hour of teaching Tom how to use the dishwasher.

An alarm on your phone went off. You turned it off and quickly took a pill from your backpack and swallowed it before Tom could see. Of course he was too distracted by the fact that you had an Iron Man backpack.

“Hey I know him!”

“Yeah it’s Iron Man, everyone knows him.”

Toms eyes went wide realizing he actually meant Robert Downey Jr. Luckily you saved him from almost outing himself as Spiderman.

“Uhh yeah that’s what I meant Y/N sheesh.”

You looked up at the clock. It was 10:00 now and you felt bad knowing that you had to be a bother to Tom for almost 9 more hours.

“If you want to go to sleep or have some quiet time to yourself I totally get it. I’ll be down here waiting for the sacred phone call and I’ll probably read a few books from this family’s library.”

“Are you joking? That’s just the tip of the iceberg! I want to get to know more of Y/N because so far I like what I hear.”

“Really?” you said blushing. “I feel like I’ve been talking too much.”

“I could listen to you talk for hours.”

He was staring intensely into your eyes, but for the first time ever it didn’t make you anxious. Your stomach was basically doing backflips now as you kept trying to convince yourself it was just the wine buzz that was causing it.

tag list: @greenarrowhead @justanotherfangirl2015 @oh-dear-tommy @hollandlovely

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optimistic-blonde · 6 years

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I wrote this about a year ago and it’s finally coming full circle... i had a small relapse and I stumbled across this in my drafts and it’s really helped me see how far I’ve come and figure out where i need to go from here.

I wasn’t going to post but I am just in case it could help one person feel normal or okay!!!!!

A few months ago I learned that I’m living with anxiety. Ive lived my whole life telling myself to suck it up, and that the thoughts I was having were normal and everyone dealt with them. I thought that absolutely hating myself inside and out and feeling like Id never be good enough for anyone was a normal feeling. I always thought that I was a bad person and there was something fundamentally wrong with me because I would get panic attacks or burst out crying at random times over seemingly little things that felt like my world was crumbling. And for the first time ever I feel like my feelings are VALIDATED.

My high school friends continually played into the narrative that I was stupid at my core and made bad decisions (specifically with boys) because of who i was as a person and because of that, feeling upset or hurt when they treated me badly wasn’t valid. Ive felt like such an idiot, and not worthy of genuine love (romantically or otherwise) because I thought I’d been doing this to myself and i was supposed to know better. After a falling out with them, and a break up with the boy I was seeing, my abandonment issue bells were ringing off and suddenly I was never okay.

A lot of anxiety, depression and ED triggers came from this. I had an extremely unhealthy summer in 2016. I’d never felt so alone or worthless. After a panic attack that resulted in a visit to the hospital, i started to see someone that helped ease my anxiety. I came back to school and the triggers weren’t as apparent as I had a busy semester and was surrounded by my friends now, who truly do love, accept and validate me. After a panic attack in the fall witnessed by my roommates, I started seeing a counselor here that specialized in social and relationship anxiety, self esteem and eating disorders.

Every day is a struggle for me, especially when faced with adversity and especially being home for summer results in certain triggers but after about 6 months of seeing a counselor I am doing so much better!! The way I look at myself and relationships has drastically changed and putting myself first has become my main priority.

Basically what I’ve learned from all of this is that people that abandon you when you’re not doing well aren’t your friends and you don’t want them in your life. People that aren't going to be there for you in hard times aren't your friends and you don’t want them in your life. People that hide things from you that you should be in the know about aren’t your friends in you don’t want them in your life. People that don’t check in on you when you’re obviously not okay aren't your friends and you don’t want them in your life. People that don’t stick up for you in your time of need aren’t your friends and you don't want them in your life. Be nice to people, but when they cross a line don’t be afraid to cut them out of your life. Only surround yourself with people that make you feel good. Just because you’ve been friends with people for a long time doesn’t mean you have to keep being their friend if they make you feel bad. And also there is no shame in seeking help!! It works! It shouldn’t be embarrassing and people understand. Everyone has issues, trust me.

Take care of yourselves peeps <3

#personal

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come-join-themurder · 7 years

Photo

“Home”

Tig Trager x Reader SMUT!

@id-rather-be-high-and-fucked said she really wanted a new Tig one shot, and @girl-with-no-faith-in-medicine just really needed Tiggy in her life at the moment so this is for you two. I love y’all! 😚😚😚 . . .

"Oh shit, Mmm, Oh yes..." Tig moaned as he sat on the edge of his bed, the girl kneeling in front of him sucking him off as he leaned back, supporting himself with his arms stretched out behind him. "Fuck baby..." he groaned, leaning forward to grab her hair, pushing her throat down on his dick as she choked and he let her go. She pulled away from him to recover for a moment before her mouth descended on his shaft again and he closed his eyes and gasped, "Oh God, just like that (Y/N). That feels so good, just like--" His sentence was interrupted as she pulled her mouth off of him and slapped him straight across the face, standing up and scowling at him before wiping her mouth and storming out of the room. She wasn't (Y/N)... "Fuck!" Tig cursed, throwing himself back onto the bed and covering his face with his hands. He felt so stupid, laying there with a raging hard on as the woman he thought he was going to fuck tonight was rejoining the party, and probably telling the other croweaters what he had done. He felt bad, like he should apologize, but that was low on his list of priorities. Right how the only thing he needed to do was avoid blue balls. He stood up, ridding himself of his black jeans, boxers, and dark blue shirt and stalking to the shower. He hated masturbating, what the fuck is the point of croweaters if he had to jerk himself off, but he knew he had messed up by calling her the wrong name. In all actuality, he thought, he had called the right name, he was just with the wrong woman. He came in the shower as the water cascaded over his body, his seed spilling onto the tile below him as he watched it wash down the drain, wishing he had been able give that to someone else...to you. Tig knew that'd never happen again, remembering how bad he had fucked you over just made him hate himself more. He finished bathing, washing the croweater scent off of his skin before stepping out and digging in the duffel bag that you had dropped off for him when he first began sleeping in the clubhouse for clothes. He pulled on the dark blue jeans and black button up, heaving his kutte over his back and shaking his wet head before ruffling his hair with his hands. He needed to get drunk, and fast, to push past the hurt he felt. It was just after 2 o'clock in the morning when you heard a motorcycle pull up outside your house, "Not again," you groaned, rolling out of bed, walking down the hall to your front door, and looking through the peep hole just in time to see him ambling up the path. You furrowed your brows, he was in no condition to be driving by the looks of him and you knew you couldn't just ignore him tonight, he broke your heart but you didn't want him to kill himself.

You opened the door, sighing as he leaned against the door frame for support, "Tig what are you doing here?" you asked, trying to keep your cool. You told yourself you were done crying over him but every time he showed back up the flood gates opened and you cried some more. "Baby... I love you," he slurred, a drunk burp bursting from his mouth as he spoke. He smelled like soap and bourbon, so you knew him coming here was calculated, whether he knew it or not, he wouldn't have bothered to wash the perfume off from the croweaters that hang all over him otherwise. "Tig..." you huffed, "you're drunk," you stood blocking the doorway. In actuality he wasn't just drunk, he was plastered; this was the worst you'd ever seen him. "Maybe.... But I'm thinkin more clearly than I ever have...." his expression was sad, and you could tell he had been crying, like every other time he got drunk. The demons he had created, that he did such a good job of shoving down when he was sober, ate him up when he was wasted until he was broken and he crawled to you to put him back together again.

Recently you had stopped allowing him to come to you. You had refused to be there for a man who could claim he loved you and still find himself face down in another woman at a party that the two of you arrived at together, while the ink was still drying from the crow on your skin.

It had been two weeks but he showed up almost every night, with the exception of nights when one of his brothers was able to stop him.

"Please let me in," he looked at you with his sad beautiful eyes, a pout on his face that wasn't exaggerated for effect, he was genuinely that upset. You folded your arms across your chest and stepped aside, creating a path for him to step inside which he took while you closed and locked the door behind him. When you turned around he was making his way down the hall to your bedroom, the bedroom you used to share. You groaned, not wanting to have this fight with him. You didn't even bother going after him, instead you simply plopped down on the couch, pulling the blanket you kept there off the back rest and covering yourself back up to go to sleep. You were awakened again by the sound of sobbing right next to you and you opened your eyes to see Tig sitting on the floor with his back against the couch near your torso, his knees pulled up and his head sunk down as he cried.

Your heart was breaking over the amount of hatred he had been throwing at himself. As much as you said your whole life you'd never stay with a cheater, seeing him in this state over his mistake made you want to forgive him. "Hey," you spoke, sitting up and getting his attention. His head whipped up to meet your gaze as he peered up at you through the darkness, tears streaming down his face. He appeared to have sobered up at least and you checked the time, 5:36am. Guessing he had just needed to sleep some of the alcohol off, you waited for him to speak. "I know I fucked up, (Y/N), I know I did. I do stupid shit when I'm drunk. I still don't even remember what I did... That next morning when I woke up on the floor behind the bar... and I realized you hadn't carried me home like you usually do.... That’s when Chibs told me what I had done,” he looked down again, blubbering into his hands as he covered his face, “I don't know what I was thinking baby. The last two weeks have been hell. I can't sleep by myself anymore," he turned so he was facing you, literally on his knees right in front of you as he begged you, "I love you, please let me come home." Tears welled up in your eyes as you stared back at him, unable to talk past the lump in your throat. "You broke me," you choked out finally as a single tear slid down your cheek and you looked down at your lap. "I know, baby, I know," he whimpered, placing his hand on either side of your face as he leaned into you, pressing his lips against yours, "Let me fix it," he spoke as he pulled away from you, both of you crying as he kissed you again, his movements frantic, kissing you over and over again, "just let me fix it baby," he stood up, climbing onto the couch with you as he continued to pepper your lips with kisses. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he laid you down, kissing down your throat and collarbone while you cried and held him tightly. "I love you so much," his voice cracked as he kissed you again, pulling your shirt up over your head and reattaching his lips to yours. He pulled the boxers, his boxers, you were wearing as sleep shorts off of you so you were fully naked and he ripped his shirt open, pulling it off and tossing it aside and he fumbled with his jeans, stopping as he got his belt undone to pick you up and carry you you into the bedroom, both of you sniffling as the tears subsided. "I fucking love you," he sniffed as he walked in the bedroom, setting you down on your bed and pulling his jeans and boxers down, stepping out of them and then holding your face in his hands, "I'm gonna show you how much I love you baby," he planted a kiss on your lips and leaned into you, causing you to fall back as he settled between your legs, kissing down your chest and stomach, licking over to your ribs as he kissed the crow tattoo that was inked into the skin there, just barely healed, before advancing to your core. He immediately began placing open mouthed kisses against your folds, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking as he fingered you. “I’ll never hurt you again” he mouthed against your center as he pressed his lips into you. When he was sure your arousal was heightened, he moved back on top of you and pressed his chest into yours, palming his thick cock and easing it inside you, a defeated moan leaving his mouth as he sank into you, "Tell me you love me (Y/N)," he whined as he thrusted deeply and slowly into you, his tip pressing against your innermost walls as he grimaced, moving in and out of you and fighting back his tears. "Please baby," groaning as he pushed into you. "I love you Alexander," you sniffled as the words left your lips, tears staining your cheeks again as he made love to you, desperately, wantingly. He reattached his lips to yours, his tongue moving inside your mouth and begging for you to kiss him back. You curled your fingers in his hair, his face against yours as you bit his bottom lip and pulled it out before dipping your tongue into his mouth to dance with his. Breaking away from you, he buried his face in your neck and gasped as he began to thrust more quickly and rigidly, hitting your g-spot at a perfect angle.

God he was the best sex you'd ever had. He was the only man you’d ever truly loved. You tossed your head back, your fingers still tangled in his hair while he sucked and licked your neck, leaving hickies and bite marks as your stomach was set aflame, your orgasm quickly approaching. You could tell his was too as his breathing labored and he panted your name over and over again in time with his thrusts.

"(Y/N)... (Y/N)... (Y.... --" You both came at the same time, his thick seed shooting inside of you as he rode you through yours and you arched your back and gripped the sheets, biting your lip to stifle your moans. He collapsed on top of you, tears still threatening to burst forth at any moment as he spoke, "I wanna come back home, doll. I miss you and I want to come home," he whispered, his voice weak with despair and fear of rejection. Unable to stomach the anguish and torture he was putting himself through, and knowing what he had been through his whole life before finding you, his one ray of sunshine, you couldn't bear to shut him out. Somehow you knew he wouldn’t make the mistake of cheating on you ever again and you took solace in the fact that he had made the decision to do right by you. "I miss you too Tiggy...and I want you to come back home." you whispered his his ear as your fingers played in his dark curly locks and he breathed a sigh of relief into your shoulder, knowing he didn’t deserve you, but grateful to have you back.

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