#i get too emotional cause i know how it all ends

[bu-blegh-ost]

Something just occured to me. Circling through each beautiful moment in the campaign, I noticed a pattern. Gillion never initiates hugs. Every time, no matter if he is the one consoling or the one being consoled, he never is the first person to offer an embrace. And I think it says something.

When Jay wants to hug Gill, she always asks first. She opens her arms as an invitation and always gives him a clear sign that she wants to be close to him. And any time she offers, anytime Gillion gets permission, any time he feels like he is allowed one, he clings to her desperately and fully, starved for it, finding himself unable to let go too quickly, savoring it like he isn't sure when he is going to be allowed to have another.

Chip's hugs are unprompted and usually done with just as much desperation. They are completely controlled by emotion, and are a form of a language that Chip uses when love and appreciation cannot be expressed by words anymore. Chip never asks for hugs, he takes them. He needs them, so he is scared to ask like Jay does, cause asking means risking to be denied. It is safer to steal it. In contrast Jay is still asking cause she is still afraid of taking love for granted.

But they both, in the end, ask for hugs and comfort in their own ways. Gillion doesn't. He wants it, he needs it so often, but he never dares to ask for it. Cause he still treats love as a reward that he needs to earn, that he is not allowed to ask for, that can't be had, unless he does something that makes him worthy of being loved. Affection and love is a currency and Gill was taught that he needs to fight for it. That it's something he should never dare to request on his own.

How many times on their journey did he need to feel someone else's body close to his, but his lips were sealed, suffering in silence, thinking he Has not done well enough to be given the privalage of being comforted? How many aches and worries did he swallow down and burried deep inside? How many old wounds is he trying to fill with every single hug he receives, when someone else offers it to him? When he dares to take it, when he grips their clothes in an iron grip, trying to make the best out of it before it's gone? Cause who knows when someone allows him to have that again?

The only person Gill ever hugged first was Edyn, the first time in Allport. It was done with the same ferocity of a hurt child, of a little boy who Has been going through hell and his sister is his only remedy. The only person that always lets him have love for free. The only one he knows he can hug for sure. One who for so many years has been the only source of comfort.

The rest of the world is uncertain and even with Chip and Jay, Gill still strives to fulfill the unsaid cryteria of when he is worthy of their affection.

But I know that with enough reassurance and care, he will be able to ask for love himself and start treating his crew as people he can fall back on. And just so you know, the moment in which Gillion is the first one to hug Chip or Jay is going to make me cry like a little baby.

_______

Edit: more thoughts occured

Did you notice that Jay always seems to match Gill and Chip when it comes to hugging? She never asks Chip for hugs and takes them the same way Chip does, no matter if she is the one seeking or offering comfort. And the same goes with Gill. Regardless of whether she is the one in the need of comfort or she is the one comforting, she always verbally communicates a desire to hug first. Like she kinda feels that this is what Gillion needs from her to accept it.

So maybe Jay is actually always trying to search for the most effective way to get a hug, to increase her chances. She believes she has to, cause she cannot take love for granted anymore, not after Ava's death. She took her for granted and now she is gone. So now Jay struggles to freely express her own desires and instead clings to all the ways that she thinks guarantee her the affection she needs, an act of desperation in its own right. A silent plea for acceptance.

Each Captain on this ship treats each embrace as a treasure to savor and protect. It's a result of their past and their fears, but also a proof of unyielding love they have for each other. It's beautiful and one day the same love that they still dread to take, will heal them.

#jrwi riptide #just roll with it #jrwi #gillion jrwi #gillion tidestrider #chip jrwi #jay jrwi #jrwi spoilers #jay ferin

[calicoheartz]

“Baby I” - Paige Bueckers♡

summary : jealous Paige Bueckers x reader !

wc ; 897

synopsis : inspired by the song “baby i” by Ariana Grande :) Paige’s jealousy often gets in the way of your relationship, so what happens when you interact with a particularly attractive stranger?

warning : angst , suggestive content , jealousy / possessiveness

my master list ㇀♡

a/n : look at me having a posting streak !! decided to try something new today, so I hope yall enjoy ◡̈

You and Paige had been dating for not too long, but your relationship had certainly developed into one where strong feelings and emotions played a huge factor in your everyday lives.

It was no secret to you that Paige was jealous, envious even; it caused you a fair share of problems throughout your relationship. Whether it was through jealous ridden comments, or snarky remarks, it was slowly starting to take a toll on you.

You and Paige were invited to go bar hopping with the team, as a celebration of the victorious win for Uconn. The free spirited and ambient environment encouraged you to let loose, encouraging you to not only grab a drink from the bar, but to strike up a couple of conversations with individuals around you.

It’s not that Paige didn’t want you to talk to other people, it’s just that when it comes to you; she’s very, how do I word this.. Overbearing? Whether it was constantly having her hands glued to your waist, peppering your face with kisses, or shooting bitter looks and whoever even dares to be just a little too friendly.

On this particular night, a very attractive character to say the least, approached you; beginning to start a simple conversation. Asking things like your name, complimenting your outfit, and overall trying to learn more about you

From across the room, you can see the blonde staring intensely at you, giving you a disapproving look; signaling you to end the conversation. You furrowed your brows and gave her a confused look back, not understanding how the conversation was moving south in any way.

You quickly turned back around, further continuing your conversation with the stranger, when all of a sudden you feel a harsh tug on your wrist. “It was nice meeting you, but we have to go.” And just like that, there you were, being dragged out of the bar by your girlfriend. Who seemed incredibly pissed.

The drive back home was unbearable, no words were exchanged between you two. The blonde never acknowledging you on your journey back home, knuckles white due to her intense grip on the steering wheel. You couldn’t tell if she was upset, disappointed, horny, or a mix of all 3.

As soon as you reached your apartment, your nerves were eating you alive. You had no idea what was waiting for you once you reached your apartment door.

You quickly hurried inside, and situated yourself on your shared couch. Waiting for her to say something. You felt your heart pounding, unable to even form coherent words. When you realized the endless silence, you simply muttered out a “I’m..sorry?.” Paige rolled her eyes at you, scoffing in the process. “YOU’RE sorry? They were practically throwing themselves at you and all you did was stand there and let them.” You were shocked, you knew Paige could take things the wrong way, but you never imagined her of all people would think you would be the type to do that.

“Paige…” you started. “You know I love you more than anything, but you know words can’t even touch what’s in my heart,” you continued. Your eyes now spilling out tears you tried your hardest to keep in.

“Then why don’t you ever tell me?”... “I feel like I’m constantly competing with others for your attention” This statement startled you, as you knew Paige was well aware of your difficulty to express yourself, let alone reassure others. Fuck. Oh how badly you wished the floor underneath you would simply collapse, giving you any sort of escape from the high tensioned conversation.

You felt as if you were to speak, your throat would simply close up. You managed to croak out.. “It’s just when I try to explain it, I be sounding insane. Sometimes it feels like the words don’t ever come out right.” She looks at you, her gaze softening a bit; as a reaction to your sudden vulnerability.

“It’s just I don’t know…the words just never come out right when it comes to you. You make me get all tongue tied and twisted, and I literally cannot explain what I’m feeling.” “Baby-” “No.” - you cut her off. Quickly feeling a rush of adrenaline run through you. “Yes, I should’ve been more clear and work on my communication, but you need to realize that not everyone is trying to sabotage our relationship. It’s exhausting. I can’t keep isolating myself due to your jealous fits of rage.”

Paige looks at you, tears welling in her eyes, threatening to spill out if she even mumbles out a word. She muttered a quiet “im sorry…”, her voice cracking at the last word, her eyes glued to the floor as she anticipated your response.

As if she were a magnet, you run towards her and wrap your arms around her tall frame, gently rubbing circles into your back as sobs slowly escape her lips. This entire thing had been a complete misunderstanding, and her jealousy blinded her judgment. Through her weeps you were able to make out “i love you. All i was trying to say is that youre my everything and-”

She wasnt even able to finish her sentence as she felt your warm lips on hers, entangling her in a deep and loving kiss. “If that doesnt show you that i love you, i dont know what will”

not sure how to feel about this tbh, originally i was gonna give this a sad ending but since the song is a love song, it didn’t feel fitting. Lmk ur thoughts !! Thanks for reading ◡̈

#Spotify #wlw #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers #uconn wbb #wcbb x reader #wcbb #wlw imagine #wlw post #ariana grande #arianator

[bestworstcase]

Any Summer Maiden ideas?

Not their identity per se, but rather their role or thematic undertones you think they might have in future volume/s? And how they might contrast to the other Maidens?

Or even the Maidens as a whole, especially as we slowly inch closer and closer to having a 'full set'?

i stand by the gillian theory and my general thoughts on what the maidens are for, thematically. if she isn’t gill, i think she’s definitely starr (& as outlined in the gillian theory post, between gill’s semblance and the ATMs i think the summer maiden might get hot potatoed without character deaths—in the form of gill temporarily stealing the magic by draining the real maiden’s aura with her semblance, or if gill is the maiden, the ATMs being used to permanently transfer half her aura to jax and that causing the maiden power to part from her and go to someone else, probably starr).

there’s also the ‘lessons’ and the divine quality associated with each maiden:

winter + creation + “learn to center yourself and think reflectively to gain awareness of who you are and what you can contribute to the world”

the medical neglect fria is subjected to as an woman with dementia deprives her of this ability, until penny treats her with compassion and dignity, which affords her a moment of clarity and agency in whom she chooses to be her heir;

likewise, penny is subjected to extreme dehumanization even by the standards of the atlesian military and the central conceit of her character arc is her struggle to assert her personhood; becoming the maiden intensifies this struggle and, like fria, she’s unable to escape it in the end;

so the winter maiden passes to winter, who embodied the lesson all along: “emotions can grant you strength, but you must never let them overpower you” + “we must still acknowledge our feelings, wrestle with them. it insures us that we’re on the right path. it’s what makes us human.”

the winter maiden arc is about the act of self-creation—how do we make ourselves human? how do we define ourselves? what does it mean to be a person? to become real?

spring + knowledge + “hard work can be its own reward” and “try to nurture the life around you and remember to ‘stop and smell the roses.’”

the last spring maiden, we’re told, found the burden to great and ran away. raven says that she “never learned,” no matter how much training raven put her through.

vernal, the false maiden, is presented as someone with incredible dedication to her tribe who has trained hard with the magic she was given. (and this is not entirely false: vernal is devoted to the tribe, and she has clearly worked hard to hone her skill.)

raven, the real maiden, “needed to know more” and went looking for the truth on her own; she tells weiss and yang “so far you’ve done nothing but accept what others tell you, but you need to question everything” and that “the truth is hard to come by.”

the spring maiden arc is about the effort it takes to uncover the truth, but also the effort it takes to conceal it, and the connecting thread between all three ‘maidens’ (real or not) is this idea of training-as-duty; something both of the real maidens are said to have ‘abandoned’ whereas the false maiden did not.

crucially, this arc is not over and won’t be over until we know what really happened to the last spring maiden, but the set up is toward an interrogation and rejection of this ‘training-as-duty’ conceit: hard work is its own reward, but it’s important to stop and smell the roses; ie, training and dedication to a cause is its own reward, but only if the cause itself is worthy. the last spring maiden was a child given too great a burden, raven left because she found that she had been deceived.

fall + choice + “be thankful for what you have and show your gratitude.”

amber is traveling alone when she’s attacked, with qrow tailing her at too great a distance to intervene; it’s unclear whether she was part of the inner circle herself. after the power is divided, they keep her on life support inside the ATM in anticipation of finding a new vessel for the magic still attached to her soul. no apparent attempt to get her actual medical care.

pyrrha is asked to become their sacrificial vessel for amber’s soul, for the sake of keeping the remaining part of the magic from recombining with its other half in cinder. she’s torn between feeling like this is an obstacle preventing her from fulfilling her destiny and fear that this is how she must fulfill her destiny, at the cost of who she is.

cinder—who had nothing—sees the maidens like this: “you think that hoarding power means you’ll have it forever, but that just makes the rest of us hungrier! …and i refuse to starve.” she’s the only maiden in the story who actively wanted to become a maiden and her chief role in the spring and winter arcs has been forcing the other maidens out of the vault-keys paradigm, through opening the vault (spring) or interfering with a machine transfer (winter).

the fall maiden arc is about freeing the maidens so that they can choose themselves; ozpin and his inner circle objectify the maidens and seek to possess and control them. the maidens are disposable, replaceable as long as the other side doesn’t get them. cinder represents the inversion of the fairytale moral, as someone who was deprived and subjugated for her whole life; “be grateful for what you have” becomes the wrathful “it just makes the rest of us hungrier.”

this arc is not over either; what remains is for cinder to let go of her desire for the other maidens and find a way to fulfill what she actually wants, which is freedom and safety. but because the fall maiden arc is so intertwined with the others—cinder as the violent liberator wrenching the other maidens out of this system—her presence in vale with salem has implications for how the summer maiden arc might unfold.

so.

summer + destruction + “don’t view the world at a distance, take an active part in it.”

as i discussed here, i’m skeptical that the mystery girl in B1 is the summer maiden. but if she is, or if she’s a presumptive heir, the secrecy surrounding her and the fact that she isn’t publicly known or acting in the open like winter and raven are would suggest that the inner circle hasn’t shifted its thinking whatsoever on the maidens: winter and raven are free because their vaults are open and salem has their relics, but the summer maiden must be kept hidden to safeguard her vault.

on the other hand, if mystery girl is a spy (emerald), then the summer maiden’s absence could suggest either that she is in hiding or that she is someone outside of the inner circle’s control.

because cinder isn’t in vacuo, i think the latter option is more likely—which is one reason i think it’s probably gillian first and starr becoming the maiden during the vacuo arc. if the summer maiden is already someone outside of, and antagonistic to, the inner circle, then there is no narrative need for cinder to be involved in the summer maiden arc; the summer maiden is already free.

(this would also allow for an interesting inversion of the last two arcs and mirroring with the second beacon arc, in that if gillian is the summer maiden, the crown will be gunning for the sword of destruction, and the conflict is not “how do we keep the key out of salem’s hands” but “how can we prevent an enemy maiden from taking the relic.”)

similarly, if the maiden is starr, then the crown is likely to be gunning for her and between the twins’ semblances and tyrian they certainly have the means to do it if they find her.

the other thing to consider with regard to the summer maiden is the history vacuo has with the sword, and how that intersects with the summer maiden’s theme of taking an active part in the world: eighty years ago, ozma used that sword to end a war and enact dramatic world-wide changes, and then he sealed it away with the presumable intent that it would never be used again. this is antithetical to the thematic purpose of the summer maiden and of destruction conceptually; the summer maiden must act, and destruction is a force which drives constant change.

if the summer maiden is part of the inner circle and on board with keeping the sword locked away at the top of the vacuo arc, i think it’s very likely that she will die, and the power will go to a character who wants to open the vault and use it to protect vacuo. whether that is gillian or starr or both at different points in the narrative, it makes sense to me for the summer maiden to be someone who decides that the sword must be used, for better or worse.

if gillian is the summer maiden, i think her determination to use the sword for vacuo’s sake in combination with her love for her brother might end up being the common ground between the crown and the coalition: they agree to help her heal her brother via partial aura transfer, she agrees to relinquish the maiden power, and everyone comes together to mount a counteroffensive using the sword of destruction. or the summer maiden power might end up divided between multiple people, with gillian keeping half and the half attached to the aura transferred to jax seeking a new host.

generally, i think it’s more likely than not that the summer maiden will break the existing pattern of [vulnerable dead/dying maiden] -> [“false” or “illegitimate” maiden] -> [freed maiden] and in that case the expectation that the initial summer maiden will die might be subverted completely. there is also something compelling about the summer maiden choosing to ‘destroy’ her power by dividing it, in a mirror image of the fall maiden arc.

although that being said i don’t think the maiden cycle itself will be ended, just freed from the artificial system of control imposed by the vaults and the oz conspiracy.

[apollosfavkiddo]

⛧° you promised you’d come back

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

content: jason grace x pluto!fem!reader blurb

warnings: angst, not a happy ending, interrupted friends to lovers, death of character, really short.

a/n: i know, i know, i have to post the leo fic first. whatever?? i wrote this late night in the hospital in my phone and i cried, so you’re gonna read it and cry too. this one doesn’t even have wc or song cause i literally left it just like i wrote. shits really short. good luck 🫡

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

You didn’t have any news on how the damn quest was going.

No Iris message. No letter. Absolutely no indication that your best friend was still alive. lt was a mix of emotions together, but especially fear.

Fear that maybe he wasn’t alive anymore. Maybe he had finally succumbed to one of those damned quests that your parents put you through, because somehow, they can’t do it on their owns.

But you had to cling to the small light of hope that was alive and that he was okay. After all, he promised you he’d come back.

“Of course i’ll come back, y/n/n. I always do.”

And maybe when you do came back, you thought, i’m finally be able to tell you how much i love you.

But all that hope was completely and totally crushed down the moment that Nico came to your apartment, along with Lester, Meg and Piper.

All of them had a dark and intense gaze, but especially Nico.

You obviously knew about the growing friendship that Jason had with the younger boy. Gods, Jason even talked about him like an older brother talks about his baby sibling.

And that’s when you knew. That’s when it hit you, that’s you’d never see Jason again.

“Y/n… can i come in?” Nico asked, his voice cracked. He instantly cleared his throat and stand up straight, swallowing a lump. “I mean- we. Can we come in?”

You just nodded, the tears already welling up in your eyes.

“Hm… Im really sorry to say this, Y/n, but… Jason didn’t make it. Caligula, he-“ Apollo - Jason’s half brother, cause nothing could be better - said, but you interrupted him with a raise of your hand.

“It’s okay. You didn’t have to come all the way here to talk to me about this. You have a quest to continue, i get it. You can go now.” You said, your voice trying to sound firm and certain.

“Y/n, are you-“ Piper said, reaching out a hand to you.

“Yes.” You said, taking a step back away from her. You and Piper never had the best relationship, and you just thought that she was the last person you’d want around in a moment like this - the girl who first killed Jason. “I’m fine. Really.”

You tried to sound reassuring, but Nico quickly caught in your facade. He cleared his throat again and looked back at the trio behind him. “It’s fine.” He said, and they finally backed off.

Meg was the only one who didn’t. She achtualmy took a step forward and pulled you in to a hug. She was a few inches shorter than you, so it was hard for her, but the hug was very appreciated. You quickly reciprocated, and she finally pulled away. She had puffy eyes and a pout on her lips.

“I’m sorry about him. I know you were close.” She said in a whisper, only to both of you hear, and you smiled. She was sweet. You nodded and whispered back a small ‘thank you’. And then, they finally left.

When you closed the door, you immediately broke into sobs. Your brother was quick to cradle you into his arms, and you just sobbed.

Not that far after, you felt his body also shaking. You didn’t think you ever saw Nico cry, but this was understandable, at least. He was his best friend. He was the best friend to both of you.

“W-why, Nico? It’s- it’s not fair! He’s- he was too young, he-“ You groaned as you sobbed into Nico’s old jacked, damping it completely. Bit you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, not when that happened.

He nodded, caressing your back.

He was gone. Jason was gone. Your Jason. Your best friend. The man you were in love with. The person that you grew to admire, looking up to how kind, generous and intelligent he was.

Your favorite person. Your soulmate.

In the end, all that’s left is a broken promise, a crossed heart and a shattered soul.

#all my love 🍀 #postcards from leah #jason grace #jason grace angst #heroes of olympus #pjo hoo toa #jason grace x reader #jason grace x y/n #jason grace x you #heroes of olympus x reader #pjo

[t0ast-ghost]

S2 episode 25 (Bread And Circuses) oh goodness oh my. I’m not ready. I’m so ready.

Okay get ready:

- They’re all standing on the enterprise bridge completely still. As if in tableau.

- Of course they’re beaming down to a dangerous planet with only the top three officers. Why even use reason at this point.

- Kirk outside the ship in his green shirt <3 (I keep thinking of it as his pjs)

- McCoy is very hostile towards Spock today. Hope they don’t get put in a situation with sharp objects…

- “Once, just once, I’d like to land someplace and say, ‘behold, I am the archangel Gabriel.’” “I fail to see the humour in that situation, Doctor.” “Naturally. You could hardly claim to be an angel with those point ears, Mr. Spock. But say you landed someplace with a pitchfork.” This is proving my theory that they’re the angel and devil on Kirk’s shoulders

- “We come from another… province.” Canadian moment

- “What do you call those?” “I call them ears.” There is no end to Spock’s audacity

- “Captain, I thought you might find this interesting.” Spock hands Kirk a newspaper with a shirtless man on the cover

- “Will you help us?” No one can outright deny this twunk

- Spock in a hat

- McCoy in a regular short sleeve shirt and bell bottom pants is <3

- no words for this one

- it’s like this episodes message is mirroring our own world or something… nah

- McCoy is already picking fights. Spock is indulging him. They’re not enemies to lovers. They’re enemies AND lovers.

- McCoy not afraid to slap a bitch

- So Merrick killed all of his crew… right?

- McCoy and Spock just flirting (debating) in public

- AND they threatened McCoy and Spock

- As Jim takes the communicator to assumedly order the crew down he has a shit eating grin… so it’s safe to assume he’s not gonna do that

- “Must you always be so blasted honest?!”

- He’s just talking on his cellphone

- Scotty is talking to his diary, Uhura is listening

- Jim is so scared for what’s about to happen

- McCoy and Spock about to face off against two shirtless men

- “I don’t mind fighting but… why you?” That gladiator took one look at them and went, ‘why are they making us fight these two nerds?’

- Camera goes to McCoy -> sound guy ups the catcalls

- I love Spock fighting really hard in the background and McCoy just.. he don’t want to

- “Do you need any help, Doctor?” “What ever gave you that idea?” “[random gladiator]Fight, you pointed eared freak!” “You tell him, buster! Of all the completely… ridiculous, illogical questions I ever heard in my life!” Then Bones falls on his ass and Spock comes to his rescue, happily ever after

- Those pants make Kirk’s ass look flat… unfair

- Spock trying to break the bars while McCoy sits in the most strange way possible

- Spock has tried to get them out the same way fifteen times. He wants his boyfriends safe.

- Me: awww McCoy and Spock having a genuine moment… nope they can’t last ten seconds (maybe they are divorced)

- McCoy pins Spock against the wall of the cell to make his point

- Spock’s pouty expression…

- “Why you wouldn’t know what to do with a genuine warm decent feeling.” “Really doctor?” They’re giving each other ‘fuck me’ eyes

- Their fight ended with “I’m worried about Jim too” like McCoy knows Spock feels emotions but represses them and is ‘trying’ to understand him

- Kirk, I implore you not to kiss this woman- that went out the window so fast

- Never mind what I said about the pants making his ass flat. I was severely wrong. Forgive me.

- KIRK STRAIGHT UP KILLED THOSE GUYS

- Ohhh Merrick stole the communicator

- Kirk giving commendation to Scotty for not breaking the prime directive is priceless. ‘Good self control, Mr Scott.’

- I love how Spock and McCoy are both saying things about Flavius (agreeing with each other)and as soon as Spock speaks about studying the sun religion, McCoy looks like he’s going to explode

I both like and hate the relationship they have with Spock and McCoy in this one cause it’s so magnetic but I don’t know if it’ll ever be evolved past this and that makes me sad.

Masterpost

Episode written by Gene Roddenberry and Gene L. Coon

#star trek #star trek tos #star trek the original series #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #tos spock #leonard bones mccoy #tos bones #tos mccoy #captain james kirk #tos kirk

[mhahaikyuus]

Hair

wc:; 1.4k

tags: black reader x katsuki, newly established relationship (still trying to keep up the illusion for your partner), black reader doing her hair, emotional reader, Katsuki being the rational calm boyfriend, fluffy, cute ending.

a/n: i skimmed barely proofread sorry for any mistakes, hope you guys enjoy. reblogs appreciated.

“I can come over tonight?” Katsuki asked on speaker of your phone. 

You two spent everyday together since he had confessed to you by shoving flowers into your hands and running off before you had a chance to respond in slight shock. 

“Uh I’m busy tonight sorry.” You said watching yourself in the mirror studying your scalp distracted. 

“Okay what about tomorrow?” Katsuki grunted unhappy he would spend time away from you. 

“Tomorrow I'm busy too, i can’t hang out this weekend.” You said eyeing the thin black plastic bag filled with beauty supplies sitting on your vanity. 

He frowned, you always told him about upcoming plans you had. At lunch always rambling about whatever you wanted and him listening with small grunts and nods. You didn’t mention anything before about plans. 

“What are you doing?” He asked. Not wanting to pry so early into a relationship and scare you off. He had plans to make you his permanently but he was nosey. 

“My hair,” You answered honestly.

“What do you mean your hair? It takes that long?” He asked confused. 

“Yeah, it does. I have a lot of hair and it takes a lot of hours sometimes a couple of days.” You admitted with a sigh already dreading the process. 

Katsuki sat there on the other side of the phone with a small sigh of relief. You weren’t blowing him off with anyone else, just your hair. He had no idea about black hair but he knew he cared about you and that meant this was important. 

“Do you need help?” He offered making you silent in surprise widely blinking at the phone. 

The man that would tell his partner in the field to fuck off when he asked. Was readily offering you his help. 

You let out a small laugh, “I do but I don’t think you know what that entails. It’s a really long process and it’s tiring. Im okay though thanks for asking.” 

He just wanted to see you. After spending every day together for a month, he doesn’t know if he could go 3 days. 

“Alright the offer still stands if you change your mind. Don’t tire yourself out.” He sighed and you both said your goodbyes. 

You fiddled with the ends of your hair with a huff. 

“Let’s get this over with.” 

~

You wanted to ram your head into a wall. Staring at half your head being braided, 10 hours down and probably another 7 to go. 

Your back hurt, your arms hurt, your head hurt it was not ideal. Not eating all day and getting irritated at everything you were in a mood. 

Throwing the rat tail comb from your hands on the floor you flopped onto your bed in tears needing a break. 

Your phone began buzzing, face still in the mattress you reached around til you found it and pressed answer button. 

“Hello,” You answered muffled 

“Hey how’s it going?” Bakugo asked 

You sniffled pulling your head up tears running. 

“It’s fine.” 

Bakugo heard how upset you were causing his forehead to crease, “What’s wrong baby?” in a softer voice. 

“It’s nothing it’s just my hair and i’m tired and cranky and i haven’t eaten all day. I’ve only done maybe half of my head and i want to stop.” You said through tears. 

“Hey, hey please stop crying it’ll be okay.” Katsuki said trying to soothe you through the phone but it wasn’t working. Noticing a twinge in his chest at the sound of your soft sniffles.

You left out small huffs trying to control your breathing, “Yeah…sorry I should go you don’t want to hear me crying. Sorry to bother.” You realized you were probably scaring away the one guy you did like with your hysterics. 

“No I didn-“ 

“I have to go thanks for calling.” 

Katsuki stared at the phone feeling his stomach sink. 

~

You cried until your eyes were puffy and reluctantly went back to braiding your hair. You were so impatient and tender headed but you would not spend 200+ dollars on box braids. 

After about an hour you heard a knock on your door. You opened it to your boyfriend with a bag of takeout and one from the pharmacy. 

You yelped in surprise slamming the door just as fast as you opened it. 

Katsuki was very confused and kind of hurt at your reaction. 

“Y/n! What the fuck come on.” He yelled from the other side of the door. 

Your face held such embarrassment, hoping this was a figment of your imagination. 

Your boyfriend was NOT here when you looked like a hot mess. 

Your non-black boyfriend at that. 

This is a nightmare. 

“What are you doing here!” You yelled back through the door. 

“Baby you were crying and I haven’t seen you in almost 2 days!"

You groaned, “You can’t see me like this! you have to go home.” 

He grunted in annoyance, “You better open up. Im not leaving when you were crying.” 

You were silent waiting for him to go home and he wasn’t budging. With a sigh you opened the door peaking out at him. 

“Are ya gonna let me in?” He asked with raised blond eyebrows and pretty crimson eyes.

You opened the door and stepped aside. 

“What’s wrong why are you slamming doors and crying?” He asked looking down at you as he entered your apartment.  

You slowly closed the door behind you and leaned back against it. 

“I didn’t want you to see me like this.” You admitted thankful that you didn't blush noticeably.

“Baby like what.” He sighed dropping the bags on your coffee table and bringing you in close. 

Your head fell into his muscular chest, smelling his cologne.

“My hair.” You mumbled into his shirt.

He pulled back and used one hand to push back your hair to see your face. Your hair is in sections and a half-braided mess. 

“I like you and your hair. So will you calm down please?” 

“Really?” You asked with teary eyes looking up at him. 

“Yes, I do.” He reassured his hands gently holding you, his main goal to calm you down from this tired anxiety driven mood.

“Okay.” You mumbled head falling back into his chest. 

He rubbed your back, “What’s going on?” asking again. 

“I stayed up all night and im not even halfway done. I have a headache.” You mumbled in tears. 

Katsuki led you to the couch and made you take a seat. 

“Take a break. You look hangry and I brought food.” He said propping you in his lap and handing you takeout. 

You finished your food and leaned your head in his neck. Your headache stopping. He was right as usual, you were hangry. 

“I’m sorry for slamming the door in your face that was mean.” You said wrapping him in a side hug. 

His hand rubbed the side of your thigh with a light kiss on your nose. 

“It’s okay, ya didnt break my nose with the door slam.” Katsuki said making you laugh.

“Can I?” He asked gesturing to your head and you nodded. 

Katsuki’s thick fingers touching your blow dried hair. 

“It’s soft.” He said with mild surprise, “Like really soft.” 

You laughed, “Yeah I do have soft hair, but so do you.” Reaching up and lightly tugging on his spiky blonde hair. His hair was getting longer in the back. It may be because he loves your hands all over him and especially his head, giving you more hair to yank. Just a theory of course you would never say to him.

He grunted, “You feel better?” 

“Yes…” You nodded as he smiled knowing what he was gonna say

“Crying over the being hungry?” He teased showing his canines with his smile and you rolled your eyes. 

“Shut up.” 

“I’m just saying.” 

“Are you discriminating against a black woman?” You squinted but Bakugo had heard that before. 

“I just came over here with food to stop your crying and got a door slammed in my face.” He said with narrowed eyes matching your own.

“Uh fine.” You sighed, “Can you not be a good boyfriend so I can call you a bigot.” Your hand trailing up his stomach under his shirt, wanting skin to skin contact.

He pinched the inside of your thigh making you yelp in pain in response. His head deeply buried into your neck just enjoying your touch

“Ow…”You whined rubbing the bruised spot. 

#mha #mha imagines #mha scenarios #my hero academia #mha x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo katuski #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki #katsuki x y/n #bakugo x y/n #bakugo x reader #katsuki x you #katsuki fluff #bakugo fluff #bakugo x black reader

[detectivestucks]

A Jealous Hokage XV

18+ content, Minors do NOT interact

Pairing: Kakashi x F!Reader x Obito

Summery: Last chapter babes! You start your new role as the intelligence department head and go on your first date only to be interrupted by work. The night's activities resulting in a surprise.

Warnings: NSFW, sexual teasing, toy usage, biting, nipple play, unprotected penetration, mentions of period.

Word Count: 7.3k

Art Credit: @akirasukuna

Part 14 New Here? Check out Part 1

A/N: Lightly edited so be kind. The alternate ending will be up later this week. :)

There he is, the last person you wanted to see. So why did his mere presence in your doorway steal your breath? Maybe it was how he stood there tall and slender, hair in a pristine swoop, red armband snug around his bicep, and soft brown eyes focused on your starstruck face. 

The two of you stand there, staring at each other, unable to think, speak, or move. 

His apologetic face makes it all feel raw. Once more tearing open your wounds. Seeing his hurt expression did exactly what you feared it would. The love never went away, it pangs your heart to see him. How are you supposed to work together when there is this much tension caught between you? 

“May I…may I come in?”

“I guess”

Kakashi hesitantly strides into your new office, inspecting the floors, walls and oak desk.

“Congratulations by the way.”

“Thank you Lord Sixth”

Kakashi visibly cringes. “Please don’t ever call me by that title again.”

“Kakashi, there’s a time and a place-”

“Not with you there’s not.”

“Kashi…”

You don’t know what to say in response to the pain coating his face. He regretted it. He has so many regrets in his life but the ones that lead to losing you hurt the most. One expects to lose loved ones during times of war, but he never expected to lose you. He thought you were his just as much as he was yours, but he was wrong.

“How-how are you doing?” you ask

Kakashi looked down. A normal question for most conversations but between the two of you it was loaded like a gun.

“I don’t think I can bring myself to answer that honestly right now.” he says with downcast eyes.

Your gaze drops to the floor. “I’m sorry.” you whisper. You never wanted things to be like this between you.

In a deep low voice you hear Kakashi respond, “That’s what I should be saying to you.”

“You’ve already apologized enough.”

“No, I haven’t. I could never apologize enough.”

“Kakashi, I-” but the words get caught in your choked throat as your eyes turn up to see tears streaming down Kakashi’s cheeks while he continues to stare at the floor. You rush over to hug him, incapable of seeing him so heartbroken. You bury your face in his chest. “It’ll be okay Kashi.”

He silently hugs you and cries as you feel your heart being ripped from your chest. You did this to him. You caused him this pain. This is what regret feels like. You start to bawl into his vest.

“I’m sorry Kakashi. I didn’t mean it. I was just hurt and I felt like I was backed into a corner. I wish I could take it back.”

“Don’t apologize to me.” He squeezes you tight. “Please, I only have myself to blame.”

“No Kakashi, you’re a good man.” You lift your teary face from his chest to stare into his eyes. “Amazing in fact.”

Kakashi’s soft eyes sparkled as they looked down on you. Overcome by a wave of affection, he leans down to press his lips into yours when you pull back. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t. I-” 

That’s when it hit you. It felt wrong. Pulling away from Kakashi felt wrong. Trying to tell him there was someone else felt wrong. Choosing Obito was wrong. 

You look back up at Kakashi’s crushed face. There was someone else, he knows it. And he’s pretty sure who knows who too. “I’m sorry. I overstepped.” Kakashi quickly withdraws from your arms and retreats to his office, trying to collect his emotions. 

“Kakashi, wait!”

You run after him, grabbing him by the arm and pulling so he’d turn around and face you. “Please Kakashi, don’t go.”

“Are you dating him?” He snuffles

“No…it was only one night and we never got the chance to talk about it.”

“What do you mean you never got the chance?”

“He kinda freaked out when I said I was going to take the position with Gaara.”

That piece of news caught Kakashi off guard. “You were gonna leave?”

You bite your lip and l look to the side feeling a little awkward. “...well, yeah… I just didn’t have any reason to stay and it would’ve been a promotion for me so...”

Kakashi’s eyes fall to the floor. “I’m sorry I put you in a position where you wanted to leave. I-I would’ve really missed you but… I would’ve been proud of you too. It was a good offer.”

“Thank you…but please stop apologizing.”

Kakashi’s eyes fluttered up to look at you. “I don’t think I can.”

You feel solemn and need comfort. “May I hug you again?”

“You don’t have to ask”

You dive in to embrace him, squeezing him tight. 

“I still love you.” you whisper

“I love you too.” he whispers back. 

Tears leak out of your eyes as the two of you stand there holding each other. You almost feel yourself center as you soak in his body heat and his scent. You take one last deep breath before he speaks.

“I, um, I need to get back to my office. I have a mission briefing to complete.”

“Okay” you whisper as you withdraw from him.

He kisses the top of your head before he lets you go. His glassy eyes looking down at you with complete adoration. You catch his hand as it drops from your shoulder and hold it in yours.

“I uh-I think I need to have a talk with Obito…”

“Yeah?...”

You can hear the hope in his husky dry voice. 

“Yeah.” 

After giving his hand a quick squeeze you let it go, walking backwards towards your door, maintaining eye contact with him till you reach the threshold. You lean against the doorframe staring at him. A small smile gracing your lips. 

“I’ll see you later Kashi.”

He turns away to walk to his office when he stops and looks over his shoulder.

“See you later, Angel.”

A smile stretching his lips under his noir mask before he walks away. You linger a little while longer, watching him walk away before you turn back inside your office and close the door, finishing what you started. 

********************************************

Kakashi sits down working on his mission report for Obito. After a half hour he hears a knock on the double doors. 

“Enter”

Obito turns the knob, stepping in a bit nervous. It was the first time he’d seen Kakashi since professing his love to you and he wasn’t sure how to act. Should he tell him? Should he ask permission to date you? Should he wait? He didn’t know what to do.

“Hey Kakashi”

Kakashi clears his throat, “Uh, Hey.”

Kakashi extends the mission briefing that was on his desk towards Obito. “Here’s everything you need to know for your next mission.”

“This is the one that’s gonna be a little over a month?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.” Obito grabs the scroll and unfurls it, giving it a once over. He turns to leave but before he walks out he pauses. “I’m sorry Kakashi...”

“I’m sorry too, Obito.”

Kakashi’s response caught Obito off guard. He had no idea why Kakashi would apologize to him. He had done nothing wrong, but instead of questioning him he just nodded his head and strode away heading home to pack. 

At his house Obito put a change of clothes, some food pills, and medical supplies in his pack. Stashing some creature comforts in his void, he stopped a moment in the vast gray space to think. He needed to see you. He didn’t want you to leave him but maybe he could come with you. The Leaf and the Sand were allies. Maybe they would welcome him, allow him to join their shinobi forces. Taking a deep breath he focuses on the image of your home and materializes there.

You leap off the couch out of terror. “Obito!! What the hell?! You scared me!”

Obito only laughs in his rich raspy voice that makes you close your eyes and hum. 

“Sorry Princess”, he says as he approaches and kisses you deeply in a breath stealing kiss.

You melt slightly in his arms, enjoying the feeling of him embracing you.

This is gonna be harder than I thought.

He finally releases your lips and presses his forehead against yours, “Hi Princess.” He pecks your cheek before standing up to his full height.

You take a moment to recover from the searing heat on your lips and cheek as you gather your wits. “Hi Obi”

You look up into his adoring eyes and feel yourself shrink. 

“I leave for a mission tomorrow and I wanted to talk to you.”

“I wanted to talk to you too.”

“I’d like to go first.”

You bite your lip before you agree, offering to sit down while you speak. Obito takes  your hand and begins to play with it, watching how he toys with your fingers as he speaks.

“I know you want to move to the Sand and if that’s what you need to do, I support you and maybe…maybe I’ll go with you.” His eyes snap up to your face, reading your expression. “I love you and, I-I want to make this work.”

You feel your heart twist in your rib cage. Your eyebrows falling to an empathetic gaze.

“Obito…I umm…”

He takes your hand and squeezes it, lifting it to his lips to give it a kiss. 

“Obito, I have news.”

“Yeah?”

“Lady Tsunade, she came to the flower shop last night.” he looks at you with keen interest. 

“And…she offered me the position of Intelligence Department Head.”

“That’s amazing!” He hugs you tightly and you can tell he’s brimming with pride.

“But-um, Obito, I…” You push him off of you to look him in the eye as you speak the next few words. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. “Obito, I, I don’t think-”

“-don’t say it.”

“Obito-”

“Please Princess, don’t.” He looks down in his lap and you can quite visibly see his heart shattering before your eyes. “I already know where you’re going with this.”

“Obito-”

“I was in Kakashi’s office earlier and he apologized to me. …now I know why.”

“I’m sorry. I have feelings for you but-”

“I already know.” Tears start to leak out of your eyes as he speaks. “You’ve always been his…I wish I had met you first. If I had just met you first then just maybe…”He drops his head defeated, tears freely falling from his lashline.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Do you love me?”

“Yes…”

“But you love him more…”

“I’m sorry. I really am, but Obito, you don’t deserve to be someone’s second choice. You should be her first.”

“Not if she’s you.”

“No Obi.” You begin to cry.

He pulls you into a hug and you can feel tear drops fall into your hair. “It’s okay Princess. I’ll be okay.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

He squeezes you tighter before pulling back to kiss your forehead. Murmuring softly,

“I love you. I probably always will, so just be happy for me. Okay?”

“Okay” you sob.

He pulls you in for one more hug, “I gotta go finish packing for my mission. I’ll see you around, Princess.”

He releases you and stands up. His eyes locked on yours as he swirls away. Leaving you alone on your couch staring blankly at the space he left.

********************************************

Sunday passed in a blur but now it’s Monday morning and you are a nervous mess. You changed your outfit several times before settling on a simple cream colored knitted body con dress with gold stud earrings, and low heels. You stride into your new office and take a seat behind the big oak desk, taking a moment to savor it. 

You hear a familiar light knock on the doorframe and look up to see Kakashi holding a flower in his hand. 

“May I come in Ms. Department Head?”

A smile splits your face. “Yes, Mr. Hokage.”

Kakashi walks in and extends the flower in his hand. “This is for you.”

“Thank you.”

You grab the flower, resisting the urge to pull down his mask, giving him a peck on the cheek instead.

“I’m sure Lady Tsunade will be in soon looking for you. There’s a translation about the Otsutsuki that she wants your opinion on.”

“Oh, that could be serious.”

“Yes, it could be. Plus she’s your biggest fan. …besides me of course.”

You can’t help the rose color that flushes your cheeks at his words. Looking at the ground unable to handle his flattery. A singular finger lifts your chin, causing your eyes to flutter up to his. 

“You’re going to be brilliant. You’re incapable of anything less.”

Your cheeks tint from pink to red. 

“Don’t go giving me a big head, Kashi.”

He chuckles and kisses your nose. “We have a briefing with the entire Intelligence Department in 30 minutes and then a council meeting right after. Then you and I are grabbing lunch. Okay?”

“Got it.” you smile with a nod.

Kakashi turns to leave just as Lady Tsunade walks in. 

“Lord Sixth”

“Lady Fifth”

The two smile as Kakashi turns down the hall.

“Well Y/N, I see you’re in your new office.”

“Yes. Just as you asked”

“And I see you and Kakashi are doing better.”

“Uh, I uh…” you scratch the base of your ponytail as Tsunade laughs at you. 

“Oh this is gonna be a fun day!”

“Lady Tsunade-”

“Relax! Come on, here”

She pulls out a small vile of sake from her coat pocket and takes a sip, extending it to you.

“Lady Tsunade!” you squeal with wide eyes.

“Come ooon! It’s not big deal. I did it all the time as Hokage.”

You quickly glance over to the door before taking the bottle and having a drink.

“Thata girl!”

“You’re so embarrassing.” you laugh as you hand the sake back

“Come on, let me show you what the current projects are before we get to the department briefing.”

“Sounds good.”

The rest of the morning went well. There was not a single smirk or snicker during your introduction as the new department head. Shiho talked to you afterwards and told you that they had been struggling quite a bit since you left. This gave you some vindication as you enjoyed the thought of them regretting their earlier teasing. 

The meeting with the counsel went well too. They did bring up some rules about interpersonal relationships which left you flustered but all around they seemed pleased to welcome you into their ranks.

After everyone was dismissed, you went to the breakroom to get some hot water for your tea. You stand up in the empty room and put your mug on the counter as you steep the tea bag when strong arms envelop you. 

“Hi” a deep whisper softly speaks in your ear.

“Hi” you hum back as you sink into Kakashi’s arms. 

You spin around to face him and bury your nose in his chest as your arms sling around his waist. He nudges the top of your head with his masked nose and you look up at him.

“There’s those pretty eyes I missed so much.” He smiles

“Yeah? What else did you miss?” you giggle

Kakashi slides your mug to the side and lifts you up onto the countertop, spreading your legs so he can slot himself between them. He lowers his mask before wrapping his arms back around you. 

“I missed these lips.”

“Yeah?” you breathe the sound barely audible as you lean in. 

Your mouths connect in a hot and passionate kiss swirling your minds and leaving everything hazy. You forget for a moment that you’re not on your kitchen counter at home as you moan into him, wrapping your legs around his waist and threading your fingers into his hair. Deep wimpers come from him as he pulls you closer, letting desire get the better of him. His hands fist your clothes and he feels himself about to get carried away when he pulls back. 

The both of you pant heavily as you calm yourselves down. 

“Sorry, I-I missed you.”

You nuzzle your face into his neck. “I missed you too.”

You continue to hold each other as you let your ankles unhook and fall to either side of Kakashi’s hips. 

Kakashi hears footsteps approaching and grabs your hand, to steady you as you hop off of the counter. 

“Lunch?”

“Lunch sounds good.”

The two of you hold hands as you walk through the halls. It felt right to stand by his side, your fingers interlaced with his. You hold your head high as you walk past the gawking faces. You weren’t going to let other people’s opinions bother you anymore. They can say what they wanna say. You know your worth and you know how you feel. You grip Kakashi’s hand tighter causing him to turn and look at you. He sees your lips pull up at the corners and he can feel his heart soar. 

********************************************

After a week, everything was going good. Like really good. Not even your period could ruin your mood after the week you’ve had. The transition into your new position went smoothly and on Friday you left the building with a skip in your step. On your way out you stopped by Kakashi’s office but noticed he went home already. You couldn't blame him for slipping away after all the late nights he had this week. So you went on your way home to go relax on your couch. Only when you arrive home you find Kakashi standing outside your door with a bouquet of roses and baby’s breath. 

“What’s this?”

“Y/N, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?”

“Us? Go on a date?” You say with a smile on your face.

“Yes. A date. A real date. Like a real couple.”

“I don’t know, that sounds a little too normal for us.”

“Don’t make me beg.”

You laugh as you throw your arms around him. “Of course I’ll go on a date with you, but can we wait till my period is finished? I don’t wanna be all bloated and gross.”

Now it was Kakashi’s turn to laugh. “You could never be bloated and gross to me.”

You give him a smooch on the cheek. “I know, I know, you love running red lights.”

Kakashi laughs nuzzling into you. “So when can I take you out?”

“Monday.”

“Then I’m making a reservation for Monday.”

“A reservation? Where are we going?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just dress to impress and let me handle dinner”

You give him a slightly suspicious look before breaking into a smile. “Fine, I guess.”

“Now about running those red lights…”

“Sorry, Mr. Horn Dog.” you say as you poke him in the forehead with your finger. 

“Fine …” 

He nuzzles into the crook of your neck before you finally move to put your key in the door. 

“Come on, let's go inside.”

********************************************

All day on Monday Kakashi was an absolute tease. You walked into your office to find a bouquet of flowers already sitting on your desk with a note: Can’t wait for tonight, my Angel

You smile as you set the note down on your desk. 

During your weekly briefing with your team, you catch Kakashi slide into the back of the room. He leans against the wall, folding his arms, and gives you that stare you only see when he wants to take you in the closet. Your throat goes dry mid-sentence causing your voice to crack. You gave Kakashi a quick look before he smiled and walked out of the room.

In a council meeting he sits down next to you and keeps his hand on the inside of your thigh, making you clench your legs together. Moreover in the hallways, when no one is around, he presses you up against the wall, his breath tickling your ear as he tells you exactly what he wants to do to you during dinner tonight. The two of you hadn’t been intimate since before your last mission and the sexual tension is causing you to slowly snap. Finally you were nearing the end of the day, however, after a quick meeting in the Hokage’s office he corners you once the room is vacant. Kakashi cages you in with his arms and props his leg between yours. 

“Ms. Yamanaka, where do you think you’re going?”

The position steals your breath away.

“I, umm, I was going to go back to my office, Lord Kakashi.”

“I think instead you better head home and get ready for a very important evening.”

“I should?” you say as a whisper, still feeling breathless from the compromising position. 

“Yes, you have a very hungry man anxious to see you.”

“But I don’t get off for another hour.”

“Maybe the Hoakge is willing to grant you permission to leave early. He also wanted me to tell you to wear this.”

Kakashi slips out the pink vibrating pad from the Gala and pushes it into your hands. Your eyes dart back up to his and you immediately chew on your lip out of nervousness.

“Consider it an apology for sleeping with Obito.”

“Yes, Sir” you whisper in his ear as you tuck the pad away feeling your mouth going dry at the memory of last time he made you wear this.

“Now hurry home, Angel. I don’t want you to be late.”

********************************************

Kakashi was right to send you home early. You took an extra long time getting ready cause you wanted to look perfect. Just like you did for the Gala, you style your hair into long soft waves, pinned back on one side. You bring out the earrings and bracelet Kakashi got you for the Gala, and slip on your strappy black heels. Standing in front of the mirror you smooth out the wrinkles in the black fabric with your hands as you admire your choice in dress. It was a beautiful all satin strapless corset top with a calf-length flowing chiffon skirt, complete with a little thigh slit just how Kakashi likes. 

You hear a light rap on the door and go to answer it. There stood Kakashi in a white button up with a black tie and gray dress slacks. And of course in the hands of the Copy Ninja is a bouquet of flowers.

“Wow Kashi, you look so handsome.”

“Look who’s talking. You are absolutely breathtaking, my love.”

He steps inside so he can remove his mask to give you a proper kiss. After your lips disconnect he hands you the flowers.

“These are for you, Angel.”

You take them and giggle. “At this rate I’m going to run out of vases Kashi.”

He lets out a light chortle before he grabs your waist and pulls you near.

“You ready for dinner?”

“Of course.”

Arm snug around your waist, the two of you walk to a beautiful and very fancy restaurant. Apparently it was an establishment frequented by the Feudal Lord. They had live music and extravagant decorations. Everything was plated in gold, the walls, the plates, the chopsticks. You felt timid to touch anything so expensive, lest you break it.

“Kashi, this is quite the space”

“I wanted to go big for our first date. Plus there are certain perks to being Hokage.”

“I don’t know if I belong in a place like this.” You say as your eyes dart around the room nervously.

“Angel, you most definitely fit in a place like this. You are finally standing in a room almost as beautiful as you are.”

Kakashi tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear looking down on you with every drop of adoration a human could possibly muster. The two of you are led to a secluded table near the back of the restaurant. You sit down beside each other and not a second too soon your breath hitches as Kakashi turns on the pad. Your hand immediately shoots out to clutch his bicep in an attempt to brace yourself. Kakashi cooly reaches over, resting his hand on your thigh, stroking it with his thumb.

“Something wrong dear?”

You turn your head with wide eyes and Kakashi increases the intensity. Your fingers dig deeper into his arm as you attempt to catch your breath.

A huge smirk is seen under his mask. 

“It’s not funny Kashi!” you say in a panic, feeling yourself pant from the vibrations tickling your clit.

“I’d beg to differ. Now be a good girl and enjoy yourself.”

“Kashi-”

“Good Evening!” The waiter interjects.

“Good Evening!” Kakashi greets sitting up straight

“Hi” you say looking down. Redness flooding your cheeks in embarrassment.

“Can I start you off with any drinks tonight?”

“Two glasses of awamori, please”

“Great, and have you had a chance to look over the menu?”

“Actually we will get two of what the Feudal Lord normally has.”

The waiter raises a brow at Kakashi, knowing the price tag of the meal but Kakashi simply smiles beneath his mask and nods. Satisfied, the waiter returns the nod and heads to the kitchen. As soon as the waiter is out of earshot Kakashi turns off the pad allowing you to breathe. 

“Well that was fun.” he says as you pant beside him.

“It most certainly is not.”

Kakashi turns the pad back on. “I wholeheartedly disagree.” he muses before leaning in and whispering in his deep voice, “I love watching you squirm in public.”

“S’not fair, Kashi.” you cry as your eyes screw shut in the intense pleasure of the vibrator. 

“Sweet Angel, can we have a nice meal before you get so needy?” he jests 

You open your eyes pleading with him to turn it off. You feel your underwear soak and you’re worried your arousal is seeping onto your dress.

“Tell me, how wet is my Angel?”

“Kashi,” your hand goes back to gripping him “People will think I’ve wet myself.”

You spread your legs and readjusted the position of your hips to let the pad sink between your folds even more.

“Mmmm, seems like you wanna ride.”

Your head nods to the side, your mouth falling open. You feel yourself going dumb to the stimulation and shift slightly back and forth on the pad.

‘What a good girl.”

You turn towards him and bury your face in his shoulder. “This is so embarrassing.” you whisper as you continue to rut on the pad.

“I’m going to need you to cum before our waiter gets back, my love. I’d hate for him to see you like this.”

Your embarrassment dusts a shade of crimson on the tips of your ears as you rub more purposefully against the pad. Kakashi bumps up the vibrations and your knees begin to shake. Your breath catches in your throat before you fully collapse against Kakashi. Finally he turns off the toy right as the waiter arrives with your drinks and food. 

Everything about dinner was nothing short of amazing. The food, the drink, the conversation, you wanted to commit every moment of it to memory. This was turning into one of the best nights of your life until a member of intelligence approaches your table. 

“Lord Hokage, forgive me. A raven came in, they need Ms. Yamanaka’s assistance urgently.”

You and Kakashi look at each other, then back at the messenger. 

“Give us a moment to settle our tab and we will be right there.”

The three of you make your way over to headquarters, speed walking across the village in your high heels. As you walk you are briefed on the situation. The Sand asked for an emergency intelligence consultation. A band of rogue shinobi have been raiding the outskirts of the village but are starting to escalate in violence. Tonight they came across a warning in an unknown language. They don’t know if it’s a cypher or a dead language but since the Leaf is notorious for their intelligence team’s translations, they are asking for your help. The only clue they can make out is the date which shows tomorrow. 

Upon entry, you ask that the memo and the scroll be brought to your office where you have your textbooks. All the usual faces arrive including Shikamaru and Shiho. Much to your dismay it is not in fact a rare language but is rather a cypher. 

“Kakashi, can you get Gaara on the phone? We’re gonna need someone with more knowledge about the Land of Wind to help us crack this one.”

********************************************

With the help of Gaara, Timarri, the Sand’s Intel team, as well as Kakashi, Shiho, and Shikamaru, you discovered that the note worked two ways. With one letter shift, it warned of a bombing to the village gates, however with a different letter shift it warned of a robbery to the village treasury. Shikamaru was the one who wondered why the bandits would warn of the bombing when they had never left clues for an attack before. Something told you it was an ego feeding itself and there may be more to the message than what they originally thought. It was quite an impressive feat. You felt disappointed in the decisions of the brilliant mind who could pull off such a work of art as this cypher. It was one of the most impressive intel projects you worked on. 

You dismissed everyone around 4am however you and Kakashi stayed behind to finish up the paperwork that went along with the request and put together the invoice for Gaara. You felt so tired you didn’t think you could walk home. Kakashi suggested that the two of you spend the night on the sleeping pad in his office. You happily agreed and thought it was a humorous turn of events to have to have pulled an all nighter on your first date. It definitely fits your love story.

You and Kakashi enter his office, holding hands and lock the door behind you so no one will disturb you as you sleep through the day tomorrow. He pulls out the small mat he keeps on hand for days like this and climbs in with you, both still wearing your dress clothes. 

Though the mat was small you shared it while you cuddle under a wool blanket. You lay facing each other, Kakashi with his mask off, each staring into the other’s eyes. The two of you memorizing your faces in the pale light of night. You couldn’t help but get lost in his mahogany irises, watching how they bore into you.

You gazed at his face, feeling his chest push into yours with each deep breath. Each inhalation coursing oxygen through your vessels, replenishing the weary cells, and centering your mass. You tuck your arms into your chest while he holds you close. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” he suddenly confesses. You realize he’s not talking about your date getting interrupted but about everything since the gala.

“I know,” you whisper. “and I’m sorry too.”

Like magnets, your lips draw together. A long soft kiss, resetting the balance of the world. The usual butterflies returning to your stomach as you lay with him. He is your person. He owns your soul. This is a fact. No matter the difficulties, you will always fall back into his arms.

As you kiss you begin to feel hardness form on your thigh.

“Sorry.” Kakashi says, embarrassed. “We haven’t, you know, in awhile and now that you're here it just um…”

You smile, “I see I was missed.”

“So much” He says as he dives back in to kiss you but this time with more heat. You return his passion as you lift your leg wrapping it over his hip. He rolls on top of you, laying all his weight on your chest before tucking his knees between your legs and pulling you up into his lap. You sit straddling him, rolling your hips and you feel his erection through your pants. It’s enough to make you moan. 

“I missed those sounds. I thought I would never hear them again.” he says as he buries his face in your neck pushing his hips up into yours.

He begins to suck on your neck. “Kashi, please, people will see.”

“Sorry” he whispers as he lowers his head to suck at the top of your breast.

“Just take the damn thing off if you’re gonna do that.” you say.

You don’t have to tell him twice. Your black dress disappears to a dark corner of the office before you could take your next breath. 

He runs his thumbs over your collar bone, tracing your shoulders before he drops his gaze. He stared intensely at your chest. His eyes tore over your smooth skin now adorned with goosebumps. He studied the peaks and valley of your breasts, ingraining them into his memory. The small bumps around your nipple and the color of your areola, memorizing it all. He lowered his head to taste the familiar soft skin, salty from the day's toll. He licked the entire surface, savoring the flavor before making his way to the nubs. He lightly petted them with his tongue. They were delicate but they were too tantalizing and he couldn’t resist the urge to sink his teeth around them when they were so close to his mouth. You let out the most erotic whine he has ever heard and it’s enough to make precum soak through his briefs. 

Pushing you down on the ground he rips off your panties and rids himself of his clothes. He needs you now. He attacked your chest with his mouth unable to restrain himself. Your breathy moans as he assaulted your sensitive skin were euphoric, ringing in his ears. He could’ve cum from your sound alone. You planted the soles of your feet into the floor as your hips bucked up, rutting your fluids all over his chest, one hand in his hair,  while the other searched for fantom bedsheets to hold on to. 

“Kashi, don’t stop.”

“‘Wasn’t planning on it.” he breathed as he broke your skin. Blood pooling in his mouth. He sucked on the copper taste, licking his lips before trailing down your body. 

“So fucking wet for me. Always so wet. I could feed myself for the rest of my life down here.” he says as he dives in on your slippery folds. Bare feet still planted, now both hands search for something to grab onto as his tongue plays with your slit. Diving in and out, nose tickling your bundle of nerves, he was a ravenous wolf and your hips straining to free yourself from his jaws.

“Kashiiiii! Oh gods!” You raised your hand, grabbing a fistfull of his hair, pushing him into your heat as he happily lapped away licking and sucking on your lips and clit.

He kissed a trail of hickies up to your collarbone before licking along your clavicle and the column of you neck. He landed a wet sloppy kiss on your mouth while he aligned his tip with your slit. Prodding your clit as he rubbed your labia with his shaft.

Your mouth dropped into a sinful O as he pulled back and slid inside of you. You exhale with a broken breath, feeling the familiar stretch. You melted into a puddle under his strong figure. He could swear he saw stars in your eyes as you gazed up at him. 

Establishing a slow rhythm, he savored the feeling of his veins catching each ridge in your gummy interior. Nothing felt more like home than being inside of your warm walls, having them hug his manhood tightly as you lost your breath with each stroke. 

He holds his body close to yours, feeling your stiffened peaks rub against his chiseled chest while he glides in and out of you. You feel the tension build in your lower abdomen. Each sweet kiss of your cervix eliciting a soft sound from your lips directly into his ear. You could feel him twitch with each little noise. 

One of your hands grabbed a firm hold of the back of his neck but the other wandered freely. Slowly exploring his arm, then his chest and gliding up to his back, feeling the scars of battles fought long ago. Thrusts continue to slide his girth in and out of you, still you aimlessly glide your hand along each indent of muscle overlapping with another, feeling up his spine and into his hair. He closed his eyes as you toyed with the silver strands. Focused on the feeling over his entire body, not just what your cunt was doing to his length but on every touch of your delicate hands. 

He was brimming with love for you. It was taking over his entire body. Studying each stray strand of hair, each eyelash, each pore on your skin, lowering his gaze to your newly adorned chest, covered in fresh love bites. He started to snap up into you sharply, feeling himself ready to cum. 

“I love you, Y/N” he whispers

“I love you too, Kakashi” you breathe back

And with your confession you feel the familiar wave of orgasmic warmth flood through your body reaching each finger and toe. Kakashi thrusts as he finishes, letting your needy walls milk him for all he’s worth. Once done he falls on top of you, tip still inside, catching his breath as his spend begins to leak out.

Grateful that he locked the door ahead of time, you and he fall asleep just as you are, on his tiny sleeping pad with only a wool blanket covering the Hokage’s bare behind, feeling the kind of peace of mind that had eluded you for months.

********************************************

Life sped past over the next few weeks. You took really well to your new role and all the teasing you used to receive for dating Kakashi finally slipped down the storm drain. You felt at peace but furthermore you felt a sense of smugness knowing that they now know how much they need what’s between your ears. They no longer care about who’s between your legs and the more you and Kakashi interact publicly, the less stares you receive. Everything is finally going according to plan. 

You sit at your desk and start to think about lunch when you smell something wonderful waft down the hall. It smelled like someone was cooking something over a campfire. Suddenly craving whatever was being had in the break room, you decide to head down the hall so you can ask what it is. When you step into the break room you see none other than Obito standing there holding a bowl of chicken and sticky rice.

“Obito?”

“Hi Princess.”

You feel your chest tighten, your eyes closing at the sound of his voice saying your nickname.

“How-um-how…how was your mission?”

“Long, but it gave me plenty of time to think.”

You feel your stomach flip in anxiety. “Obito, I’m so sorry.”

“I know Princess I-”

“Oh my gods!”

You run to the trash can and throw up what was left of your breakfast. 

“Princess, are you okay?”

“Sorry, I just ah-I guess I’m not feeling well.” You didn’t want to admit that the guilt of everything made you empty your stomach of its contents. 

“Hmm, maybe you should go home.”

“I’ll be fine.” you say feeling incredibly embarrassed.

Obito gives you a questioning look. 

“Really, I’ll be fine. Maybe just some rice and water for lunch and I’ll be fine.” you say with a shrug as you speed walk away from the break room. You turn towards Kakashi’s office hoping he had some water for you to rinse out your mouth when you realize the smell of ramen is getting stronger with each step in his direction. Sure enough, when you open the door to his office the smell hits you like a ton of bricks. You try to wave the smell away from your nose with your hand as you speak.

“Geez, Kashi, what’d they put in your ramen?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a bit strong, don’t you think?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your ramen. I can smell it down the hall.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Do you have water?”

“I think I have some over in that corner.” he says as he points “Why? Forget your tea?”

“No, I just threw up and I need to wash out my mouth.”

“You threw up?”

“Yeah. I smelled some delicious campfire smell and then I ran into Obito and felt sick all of a sudden. It was really embarrassing.”

“You smelled Obito?”

“What?! No! I smelled a campfire and…oh.”

“Angel, when was your last period?”

“Right before our date…”

“Angel, I think we need to get you checked.”

You zone out a bit as you consider what this means. You look over at Kakashi, “But I’m on birth control. You really think that we’re, that I’m...”

“Possibly.” 

Kakashi rounds his desk and kisses your forehead before pulling you into a hug. 

“Kashi…” you whisper, ‘I still haven’t rinsed my mouth out yet.”

He chuckles and lets you go to grab your water. “Here, make it quick cause I want to kiss you.”

You blush and take the water and swish. You chug the remainder of the bottle before Kakashi pulls you into him to kiss you as if it were your wedding day. When your lips disconnect he holds you close, eyes closed, foreheads touching.

“What was that for?”

“Marry me.”

“What?” Kakashi opens his eyes and stares at you through your lashes.

“Marry me.”

“Are you joking??”

“No. I want to marry you. I’ve wanted to marry you from the day you first saw my face.”

“Kakashi, we don’t even know if I’m pregnant.”

“It’s irrelevant. I love you and I want to marry you. What do you say?”

“Kakashi, are you seriously proposing after I just threw up?”

“I’ll give you a real proposal later. Just tell me yes.”

You swallow and nod your head, “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

He squeezes  you tight and spins you around the room.

“Kashiiii I’m gonna throw up again.”

“Right.” he says as he sets you down, “Let's get you to a doctor.”

Leaving his lunch behind, you and Kakashi interlace your fingers as you walk down the hallway and out the building towards the hospital. The medical staff set you up in a room with a paper gown, where the two of you wait for Sakura to join you.

You’re swinging your legs as you sit on the table when finally a head of pink hair comes breezing through the door.

“Kakashi sensei, do you mind explaining why my other appointments got bumped back fifteen minutes?”

“I needed you to check on Y/N.”

You wave your fingers, feeling a pink tint your cheeks. Sakura’s eyes scan you up and down and she understands. She pulls the sonogram cart from the corner and asks when your last period was.

“It was about 7 weeks ago.”

“And you’re just getting checked?”

“I didn’t really think about it. Time kinda slipped by plus I’m on birth control so I didn’t think-”

“Well things can still happen.” Sakura squirts jelly onto a probe and directs Kakashi to sit near your face. “This is gonna feel a little cold.”

“Okay” You nod before looking over at Kakashi and nervously grasping his hand. You feel the probe get inserted and soon after you hear a tiny fluttering pulse. You watch as Kakashi’s eyes widen with joy while looking at the screen. You peel your pupils off of him and turn to look.

“Yup, congratulations you two! You’re having a baby!”

Alternate Ending coming later this week.

Masterlist

#obito x reader #kakashi x reader #kakashi smut #obito uchiha #kakashi hatake #obito is daddy #kakashi senpai #kakashi is daddy #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi sensei #hatake kakashi #hatake smut #daddy hokage #jealous hokage #Jealous Kakashi #detective stucks #obito x reader x kakashi #obito x you #kakashi x you #Kakashi x you x Obito #Obito x you x Kakashi

[katyspersonal]

#personal #internets #at this rate I've unfollowed both of the kinda.. 'controvercial' blogs I've been following #since there was a good chunk of actually good takes about how bad media is now and society and braindead internet 'activists' that- #-had it too good in their western countries and NEEDED to invent the reason to bully and excile people #could honestly resonate with it despite some other posts causing genuine pain. but mostly about terribly handled media #like you know that thing when corporations do terrible ass rep to pretend that they care for minorities #or artificially fabricate online backlash against their new actors to show investors that people show interest for their product because- #-of all the clicks on their article? #like discussion of this kind sorta keeps me sober #as a person with BPD I get contaminated by opinions VERY easily and as an autist I will believe everything if it is put together 'logically #that's why I HAVE to be exposed to every possible opinion so I am forced to make out my own rather than being swayed anywhere #but at this point those blog became kinda.. bad? like they don't just have 'opinions' but they hate just to hate #but now my dashboard and recs are full of exclusively things I can fully agree with and I am scared that it will rot my brain #like.. emotions are always the same. where is the 'wait WHAT' effect? where is anger? where is self-reflection? #but ALSO I realized that 'those' blogs are no better than those western 'warriors' I despise and they become narrow-minded too in the end #they advertise themselves as 'open to debate' only to always sway debate into trying to win and not into actually discovering the truth #I cannot trust any side because they're all narrow-minded and hostile but I cannot trust people without any side because- #-they're fence-sitters without morals that side with the winner #is there a secret third thing? like is there a way to not take a side but to still HAVE ideals and opinions? #my problem is that if I am not exposed to people that trash everything I value I forget why AM I valuing [a thing] to BEGIN with #and that won't do will it

[songofwizardry]

hey there's a lot of shit out in the world but like. there's also 300k fanfics written as labours of love and exuberant comment threads on art that point out and gush over little details and there's people who spend hours sewing tiny details on their cosplays and there's fragments of poetry that get shared over and over and bring emotions over and over and there's entire communities of people built around 'we loved a story together' or 'we made a story together' and there's people poring over every line in a work and building theories together and there's getting together with your friends to have ridiculous fantasy adventures every week and yeah. there's some good stories here too yknow.

#text post #my post #yes this post was made immediately after d&d when i am emotional about the absolute fucking luck and joy of getting to do this regularly #but like #yknow not to quote the 11th doctor on you but it's TRUE we are all stories in the end #anyway i've been listening to lilli furfaro's stories a lot can you tell #just like. art and people and shared story and yeah #i got like three ao3 comments from the same person last week cause i'd left a comment on their work #and like. we don't know each other we've never met but now we've gone through each other pages and realised we feel the same way about this #and we have made each other smile with comments multiple times over the last week. that's fucking wild #like you know you watch a cosplay video and you see how many people and how much love and how much togetherness has gone into it #you recommend a book to a friend with your favourite passages underlined #you take part in a fic exchange and you make each other cry with words #you watch your friends roll dice and have emotions and fight and succeed and fail and you build a world together #idk idk i'd say i'm too emotional about this but i think i am the right amount of emotional actually #as lilli furfaro said. stories stitched together are how families are born

[clenastia]

i dont know why the running joke of this chapter is kakashi fearing for his kidneys. where did that come from. WHY did that come from.

i should probably cut that in editing it's a little ridiculous.

except it makes me giggle every time so maybe i should leave it there.

#girl's mind fanfic #clena's writing progress #just have to write ONE more conversation and the whole chapter is done. but DAMN if editing wont be a bitch #still wondering if i should cut jiraiya's 3-page infodump #because while most people dont mind #some people keep commenting saying that my fic is too wordy and i keep adding unnecessary things #and like. they're 1% of reviews but i have the emotional fragility of a china teacup #i cry when i get those sorts of reviews and they ruin my day even tho i get twenty comments who love my rambling #but like. also. i shouldnt delete stuff from my fic just for the 1% of assholes who will say mean things about it #but also i dont want to cry when someone inevitably says something mean about it. #most if not all of said assholes are on fanfiction dot net so technically i could just stop cross posting #except there are people on that site who DO like my rambles so #ugh. why am i such an emotionally sensitive crybaby. my life would be so much better #if i didnt have such thin skin #i'm 90% certain that jiraiya's 3-page infodump is going to get LONGER with editing cause i'm gonna turn it from infodump into #an actual conversation. so who knows how many pages it'll be by the end. the chapter's already 6500 words #which is double my average chapter length #and i DO like the info he presents even if it maybe ISNT strictly required for progressing the story. probably only the last paragraph is #ugh. i wish people would just never say mean things ever. then i wouldn't have a problem with anything xD

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you. #I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible. #I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me. #I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth. #I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely. #I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin #I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't... #I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it #or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away... #to this day... #I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again #I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that. #I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY #that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back #that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed. #“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again. #By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant. #I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did. #The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement. #Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF. #You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do. #I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha #No I do not look at your blogs. #The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one. #I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel #safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time. #I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore. #And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry... #I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too... #vent

[milo-is-rambling]

Recently every conversation with my mom has left me feeling like a child again

#y'know when you were little and your parents were upset but you wanted to tell them something you cared about and they got angry at you for #being happy and wanting to share it with them #that's been how every conversation with my mom has ended for the last two days #i just empty and emotional but I can't do anything about it cause I'm too small and young to help her #i just have to keep being around her and try to make her feel better #it's hard. it's really hard. i miss my dad #i know she's struggling but she doesn't have to act like that to me #and we had been doing so well before my brother came home and now that he's back at school it's like we have to learn to live together all #over again and I don't want to #i just want to lay in bed and cry #i feel like how I felt in middle school when I would lock myself in the bathroom to cry bc my bedroom door didn't have a lock and my family #would just walk in whenever they wanted to do I cried in the bathroom and it was always while I was crying I could hear my whole family #making fun of me for crying in the bathroom and making jokes about how I was crying again and being dramatic and stupid and it kind of #forever tainted my connection with my own emotions and being brushed off by my mom brings me back to that exact feeling #i wanna lock myself in the bathroom and cry so hard I can't breathe while listening to my parents make fun of me for crying #I'm just having a rough day and I'm stressed and sad and it's the first showing of the play tonight and I'm terrified I'm gonna fuck up #and I just want to have a good day but it's all been sucky so far #i hate it #i wake up happy and then I go to start my day and I talk to my mom and then it's like all motivation is drained from me and I want to just #get back into bed again #:((((

[sttoru]

·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you’ve been one of sukuna’s many concubines for quite a while now. yet, you still cannot get rid of the jealousy in your system whenever he interacts with the other women in his harem.

wc. idk around 1 to 2k

tags. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (hurt to comfort), fluff, suggestive at the end. heian era. you call sukuna ‘my lord’. reader gets called ‘brat, little girl’. size difference. no part2, don’t ask i beg. not beta read.

“get back here, brat,” sukuna raises his voice as he follows you. he isn’t one to care about others’ emotional outbursts, yet here he is, chasing you after you’ve poured out your heart to him.

you don’t know why you’re this upset. you do know, however, that it’s childish of you to walk away mid dinner. you should’ve just stayed seated and refuse to let the thoughts consume you.

now you’re speed walking down the hallways of the estate—your legs carrying you as fast as they can without actually making a run for it. your mind keeps replaying the ‘unsettling’ scene that caused you to flee.

you remember it vividly. the sound of sukuna’s low, amused chuckle. how intrigued it was because of something another concubine told him—how he stopped chewing to say something back to her. which he rarely does.

hell, you’ve never seen him laugh around his other concubines.

“i do not wish to talk to you right now, my lord,” you reply, voice raised so the distance wouldn’t make it a hassle for the king of curses to hear you. you know that feisty attitude of yours entertains sukuna to no end.

he raises an eyebrow once he’s heard your voice; how it’s dripping with envy and hurt. you’ve never reacted like that before—at least not in his presence. it made him want to figure out why and how.

though, he can easily guess the reasoning behind your sudden defiance.

“oh, that so?” sukuna hums. he’s lenient with you this time around. he could catch up to you in under a split second, but he decides to give you that sense of accomplishment first before completely destroying it. he walks after you slowly, your fast steps being the same tempo as his slow pace.

you don’t answer. you’re stubborn. you have no right to feel jealous. you are a fairly new concubine—only a couple months ago did you join sukuna’s harem. yet, the time spent with him was precious.

he treats you differently. everyone notices that. everyone tells you the same. you know he does by the way he lets you off the hook with most stuff you say and do.

you don’t know what you did to gain his favouritsm, but it’s addicting. his attention is addictive. real addictive.

you had sworn not to develop any unneccessary feelings for that ruthless sorcerer. but, with the way sukuna treated you so gently behind closed doors, it was impossible not to.

you eventually reach the doors to your chambers. you slide them open and wish to close them behind you, only for a big hand to halt those movements. you freeze in place and refuse to look up at the owner of that said hand.

“look up,” sukuna demands. his voice causes goosebumps to appear on your arms, but you still don't budge. he clicks his tongue. that’s your first warning. two more and your punishment will be carried out, “we can do this the hard way too if you want.”

you turn your head, your fingers curling around the material of your kimono. you really should not feel this way about a little interaction between sukuna and his other concubine. that is none of your concern. what he does with those other women is none of your concern.

and yet. . .

“i don't want to,” you retort. sukuna walks into your room with a sigh. each step he takes forwards, you take backwards. your back finally bumps against the wall next to your bed.

sukuna towers over you, his tall and big frame making you feel vulnerable. especially with the way those red eyes of his are staring down at you. he crosses all four of his arms before speaking.

“tell me what’s running through that head of yours,” sukuna inquires sternly. he isn’t playing around anymore, you can tell. you glance the other way—knowing that he will laugh at you the moment you tell him why you’re upset.

you have a feeling he knows the reason behind your tantrum anyway.

“it’s nothing of importance, my lord,” you shake your head and relax your tense shoulders to make you seem less upset. your words have some truth in them—you don’t think your feelings of envy hold any value to him.

sukuna sighs again. he’s trying his best not to be annoyed at you. you’re his favorite and he wishes not to sadden you any further. he steps forwards, one hand moving to cup the side of your face.

his rough fingers play with a string of your hair, “i’m not stupid, little girl. i don’t like it when my woman is in distress.”

your heart skips a beat. this is what confuses you—how he can go from stern to gentle and vice versa. it’s surprisingly unexpected, which makes you long for more. even if his behaviour is confusing.

you look up at sukuna. your eyes meet for the first time in a good couple minutes. the corner of sukuna’s lips curls up into a satisfied smirk. that’s one step closer to getting you to open up.

“now,” the king of curses lowers his head to your eye level, the proximity all the more nerve wracking. he holds your jaw super tightly out of the blue. it makes you whimper.

“spit it out.”

there it is. the duality of the man strikes once more. you swallow the spit that’s been building up in your mouth. you bite your bottom lip lightly, trying to gather and form the right words to explain yourself.

sukuna wouldn’t understand. he’s a cold-hearted man who doesn’t care about such ‘trivial’ matters. he’ll just call you stupid, pathetic or whatever other derogatory term.

you stop your thoughts for a moment.

“it’s really just a stupid thing,” you mutter. your fingers curl around sukuna’s wrist—the one hand he’s using to firmly hold your jaw. you take a deep breath in, “i did not like it when you, errr. . . when that woman talked to you at the dinner table.”

your voice is clearly dripping with jealousy. pure, pure jealousy. and for what? because he talked to his other concubine. you feel stupid. you thought you discarded your personal feelings for the sorcerer before you the moment you turned into one of his many women.

“that woman?” sukuna tilts his head, feigning ignorance. that little grin on his face tells you enough. he’s playing with you like some form of entertainment. well, technically you are.

he wants you to be specific. he’s forcing you to be by acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.

in all honesty, sukuna’s already forgotten what that woman had said to him. it wasn’t and still isn’t worth remembering. all he can recall is your adorable facial expression when you saw him interact like that with his other concubine.

that little frown on your face was priceless. it makes him want to keep teasing you.

“you know who i am talking about, my lord,” you huff, trying to look away, but get stopped by sukuna readjusting his grip on your jaw. he firmly yet gently taps your cheek once and you know what it means.

“attitude,” sukuna warns with a quick hiss. he can let you say whatever you want to him, but you also have some limits regarding which tone you use with him. you apologise quietly under your breath.

the king of curses nods in satisfaction before releasing the grip on your jaw. his large hand trails down to your neck, thumb rubbing up and down your throat, “so, my little girl is mad at me because i talked to another concubine of mine, huh?”

you nod mindlessly. sukuna can easily get you to comply with him—to obey his every word, simply with his actions. the terms of endearment he uses are the cherry on top. they slip off his tongue so easily with you.

“tsk tsk,” sukuna shakes his head. his hand is now on the back of your head, fingers tangled into your hair. he’s staring down at you with a smug expression. he knows he’s got you wrapped around his finger, “how childish of you.”

you knew that would be one of the things he’d say to you. what you didn’t expect is for him to go for a kiss right after. his lips land on yours firmly, and to no surprise, you instantly return the gesture.

your arms wrap around his neck—your chest pressing against his. sukuna wastes no time in picking you up and letting your legs encircle his waist. he’s not pulling away for air to breathe and you don’t either.

“you’re going to listen to me, yeah?” sukuna murmurs between passionate kisses. he’s holding onto you tightly with two arms, his free hands roaming over your body whilst he pins you against the wall.

when you whimper out a weak, high-pitched ‘yes, my lord’, he smirks against your mouth before turning to kiss your neck. he slightly bites the skin to make sure you’re paying attention to him.

“i don’t remember what that woman said,” sukuna continues, nearly out of breath because of the kisses he’s leaving all over you. he easily grabs both your wrists and pins them above your head on the wall, “i was too busy lookin’ at a much prettier concubine of mine.”

he pulls back a little so he can look you in the eyes. you’re panting and embarrassed by what he just said. one of his hands finds your face again, tracing the shape of your mouth.

“my favourite,” sukuna whispers whilst licking his lips. you can see it in his eyes: he’s silently planning out how he’s going to remind you of your place. your place as his favorite concubine.

he dips his head back down, aiming for the valley between your breasts. he closes his eyes before sucking on the surrounding flesh;

“guess i’ll be nice for once ‘nd show you just what it means to be my favorite so that you’ll never dare forget it again.”

#sttoru writes. #jjk x reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #jjk x you #jjk #jjk x y/n #sukuna x y/n

[seventh-district]

.

#vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #i wanna vent but. i don’t even know what to say #maybe i’ll just go write something instead. like. fiction. a story. #get the pain out by putting it into a story instead. #it worked with Paralyzed. and it seemed to be appreciated by/helpful to a number of other people as well. maybe it’ll work again #don’t know if i can though. brain just wants to clock out for the rest of the day #but i can’t vent abt this here cause i do that enough already and it just makes people feel sorry for me #i appreciate the concern i just. i don’t want to drag anyone else down anymore #i’m the way that i am because other people couldn’t keep their trauma to their selves. or deal with it in appropriate ways #so maybe i’m not any better than them if i keep subjecting people to all my negative emotions every time i’m upset #like. where does the cycle end. i feel like a container that people keep dumping their life’s waste in and i just have to. hold onto it #because if i go and dump it somewhere else then it’s just someone else’s problem to clean up #what do i do with it all though. it’s making me sick. #how do i process it and purify it into something that can safely be put back into the world when i feel like i’m going to explode #i’m just so tired of the yelling. how loud can a humans voice even get jesus fucking christ #i don’t know why it’s so terrifying. they’re just words. i mean they’re not. they’re not baseless threats. ive learned that from experience #anyways i’m sharing too much again. i gotta stop mentioning so many specifics on this blog cause one day someone irl will find it #and ohhhhhh the fallout that would cause! terrifying #so i should. choose my words more carefully and be a bit less specific in these vent posts going forward #anyways. today was going great until i got triggered pretty badly again so. i guess i can kids the rest of my plans goodbye for today #i’ve been productive for 12 hours now though so. good enough i guess. #still really wanted to be able to enjoy my evening and be Social but i don’t think i can anymore. i’ll try again tomorrow #i did manage to pack the work i had planned for the next three days all into today though so that’s good. #helps free up a bit of my packed schedule for the rest of this month. hopefully i’ll be able to make good use of the extra time #but knowing myself i might just squander it on something unhealthy and self-indulgent #whadaya want from me im just a tired little creature trying to survive in a harsh environment #so sometimes doing my best is ignoring everything and sitting alone in the dark eating pasta while watching ppl play shitty horror games

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

I don't think Buddy asks Helio any questions.

Kristen asked 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' because she believed in all the good things she was taught, but noticed the strange disconnect between the world as it was and the world as it was taught to her. So she thought, surely, if I can't come up with the answer, Helio will have it. And she hates him for dodging her question.

Buddy is far more deluded than Kristen ever was. And he is far, far angrier inside as a result, even if he deliberately conceals this fact from himself to protect himself from the inevitable mental breakdown this would cause. Buddy is not as altruistic and giving and caring as Kristen is. He wouldn't question why he was betrayed or dig into a question like 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' Those aren't the answers he needs, because of course he'd be betrayed by someone outside the church, that makes perfect sense. Of course bad things happen to good people, we simply live in a fallen world.

Or, well. He used to live in a fallen world. Now he's dead here. In Helio's divine domain.

I think Buddy, as he wanders through fields of corn to the big farmhouse where Helio is chilling out, privately thinks about the fact that Kristen Applebees' horrified expression was the last thing he ever saw before a sharp pain in his throat. I think Buddy assumes Helio knows he's thinking this and apologizes for bringing thoughts like that into paradise. I think he thanks Helio for recognizing his devotion and bringing him here once he died and dutifully deceives himself about his own rising emotions at contending with the fact that he's dead now.

After all, he was raised to die. He was raised to want to die.

To want to be here with his god whenever it was he called Buddy to him. So he doesn't feel upset, no, of course not. He's just a little surprised at how sudden it was. (How completely random. How unceremonious and unfair.) He's a little bit worried how his grandparents would react to the news is all. (He cracks a joke that maybe he'll see them here shortly after they do get the news. He doesn't laugh at it.) He had his own plans for how he'd spread the good word in life, but of course, Helio had other plans. (Nothing Buddy ever wanted really mattered. He knew that, he knew the will of Helio was the real thing that mattered, and everything else was just a small list of preapproved extracurriculars in the syllabus of his life.)

He can't be upset about this.

He shouldn't be upset about this.

This is his reward.

This place and these people and this god are his reward for a life of service and devotion and walking in the light.

It's not his place to be upset about his own reward. Kristen got upset when she went to heaven, when she met Helio, and look where that got her.

Look... look where that got her.

He thinks he hates her. For looking at him like that. All the ways she looked at him. Like he was something pitiful and contemptible. Someone she needed to threaten away from her little brother. Someone she has to double and triple check if he's going to revive her when he's under magical oath to do just that or lose his connection to a divinity she threw away after being chosen.

And then. In that last moment, she looked at him and he saw grief and horror and caring. Like his death was awful and unfair and tragic.

And he thinks maybe he hates her for that. For challenging him every conversation they had and looking at him like she knew something he didn't. Like she was above him. Like killing your own god twice in life is a preferable fate to living for the promise of eternal sunlight and cornbread in death. A promise which was kept to him.

Kristen was promised to Helio, too.

And he can't unsee her face. He can't move along and focus on what truly matters (Helio, the church, spreading the word, doling out divine punishment when needed) because he's reached the end. There is nothing left. Only this bright sunny cornfield and a god who... is nice. And who cares about him, personally. He got Buddy's name wrong the first and only time they held audience.

He thinks he hates Kristen, and he hates that that hatred isn't immediately squashed out of his soul just by being here. In paradise. Where he belongs. Where every follower of Helio belongs. Where he never has to have anyone look at him the way Kristen did ever again.

I don't think Buddy Dawn asks Helio any questions. Because how do you ask the god you devoted every waking minute of your life to, 'Why do I hate it here? Why does this feel like hell?'

#fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #d20 fhjy #dimension 20 #buddy dawn #kristen applebees #kristin applebees #cw death #religious trauma #wow I really said 'he was raised to want to die' without even flinching didn't I?