#i got tired of it bc i played it so much but it’s so good again

[calumfmu]

your fics are godly. you wouldnt know you were in a slump!

could i request eddie and steve fighting over reader? like eddie shows up at family video and steve is stood between readers legs feeding her red vines and shes playing with his hair and eddie is like 😤 game on steven.

Hiii babe <3 thank you so muchhh. like genuinely, I could cry rn. Im really fucking trying lmfaoo so I hope this is good :)))) Steddie x Reader (who is playing them both) cw: swearing, allusions to sex, 2.1k+ words (I did it y'all + working on edits are next bc I'm shit at them, I can only do collage)

“Just call me for what time to pick you up, okay?” Eddie’s voice was soft when he spoke to you, tires screeching to a halt as the van pulled up in front of the Family Video. You were shy behind the smile that nursed your lips, trying not to fully beam at him as he ran out to open your passenger door.

“Yeah, yeah, I know the deal, Munson,” you teased, hoping out with your bag thrown over your shoulder.

He stood up close in your space, nearly chest to chest with you as he reached up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. He smelled like leather, the familiar scent filling your senses like a heated towel.

“Just looking out for my favorite girl,” he whispered, pecking your nose as you rolled your eyes playfully at his comment. You weren’t his girlfriend, but he loved to tease you when it came to claiming you as his. You couldn’t even pretend to be upset at it, loving the way he called you his and the pet names that followed.

“Is that what I am now?”

“My one and only.”

The look on his face warmed you up, his hair blowing in the wind as he leaned down to press his lips to yours. The kiss was soft, lips touching with the briefest sensation of want— remnants of your time spent in the hazy morning in his trailer, seated on his lap, pushing him down into the mattress.

You heard a throat clear to your right, only for you to look up and see Robin standing with her arms crossed, leaning against the glass door of the video store.

“You’re gonna be late,” she grumbled, shaking her head at the two of you intertwined. Blushing, you pulled away from him, his hand outstretching to hold yours for as long as possible while you took a few steps away. He reluctantly let go, your arms being stretched as the distance increased to be too much for contact.

“Call me!”

You nodded at him, waving him goodbye as he leaned against the van door. Meeting Robin’s side, you bumped your shoulder with hers.

“You know, you’re going to have to make a decision some day,” she said, holding the door open for you as you walked in. Your heart kicked up at her words, clearing your throat to ease away the discomfort.

“What do you mean?”

You fawned innocence, eyes batting up at her as she gave you that all knowing look. The two of you made it a few steps into the business, your eyes immediately searching for that chestnut colored mane, puppy dog eyes lingering amongst the aisles.

“You know what I mean,” she said, leaning into your ear so her words wouldn’t carry far. “They’re not dumb, you know.”

“Still don’t know what you’re talking about.” You called out behind you as you made your way around the counter. She grumbled something in reply, it being lost as you as your mind was set on one thing.

You gave her a cheery smile, walking to the back office to place your things down. Immediately upon entering, there he was— Steve, your other situation, if you could call it that. The serious look on his face immediately flipped around upon laying his eyes on you, teeth bared in a smile with his eyebrows raised.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, no. You didn’t mean to be playing both sides of the fence, Eddie on one hand, reserved for late nights and early mornings, Steve on the other, day time charades and afternoon picnics.

It just happened. Maybe somewhere along the mysterious shit that always happened around Hawkins where you got to spend time with reformed king more or the effort to clear the Munson boys name, you happened to fall for the two of them. At the same time. It wasn’t your fault, okay? They were both too pretty to make a decision, too good to you in their different ways, too much to be able to put down.

“Hi, pretty girl,” he muttered before crossing the floor to meet you in an embrace. You felt safe in his arms too, chest broad in muscle, cinnamon scent encompassing you. It was different than Eddie’s, yet all the same. “You’re late.”

You looked up at him, chin at his chest as his eyes stared down at you. Sleep wore on his face, big eyes drooping slightly, exhaustion from the early morning showing.

“Only 5 minutes,” You pouted, bottom lip jutting out. “You’d cover for me right? My ride was a little hectic.”

“You know I always do.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, pulling you out of the break room to meet Robin on the floor. She was labeling VHS cases, tongue poked out at the corner of her mouth as she focused on getting the stickers straight. Following his lead, he settled next to her, dividing the pile while you took a seat on the countertop, opening a box of candy that had just been shipped in.

Your legs swung in front of you, hitting the backboard of the counter you sat on. While the three of you focused on morning duties, your foot hit Steve’s thigh every now and then, smirk on your lips as you knew he would get “frustrated” eventually and “snap”.

“Babe,” he warned, pushing your foot with his hip as he threw a tape down on the pile. You laughed under your breath, grabbing packs of Red Vines out of the case.

“What am I doing?” You cocked your head to the side, not yet wanting to look up at the look he was giving you. You tapped him again, toe pointed as his hand reached down to grab your ankle.

“Playing dumb is really your strong suit,” Robin commented, raising her eyebrows as she looked at the two of you. You shot her a look, urging her to not continue as Steve rose an eyebrow.

“Rob, shut up,” you laughed, throwing the balled up packing tape you had accumulated from the boxes at her. She dodged it as she laughed, throwing her own scraps from labels towards you.

Steve’s grip on your ankle tightened slightly, he slid in between your parted legs, hips pressed flush against the counter as you tried to maneuver out of the grip, laughing as he locked you in.

“Playing dumb? You’re the smartest girl I know,” he teased, helping you unpack the candy while still seated between your legs. Robin made a face at you from behind him, immediately going serious when Steve turned around to give her a look. She loved teasing you whenever she had the opportunity, all jokes in good fun, no matter what she thought of the predicament you found yourself in.

“That’s so rude, Harrington,” she said, rolling her eyes as she took a stack of tapes to re-shelf. You watched as she walked away, getting lost in an aisle closer to the door.

He ignored her, placing his hands on your thighs as he abandoned the candy. You held a box of licorice in your hands, toying at the corners as you looked at him. The look on his face grew more serious, eyes squinted as he pursed his lips.

“I wanna know though… what are you so good with playing dumb at that Robin had to be oh, so mysterious about?”

Your heart lurched at his question, eyes darting down to look at the blue box in hand. The corner ripped underneath your hand, plastic being pulled back as you found sudden interest in it.

“Nothing.”

He hummed at the short answer, fingers coming up to pull your chin to focus on him. You met his eyes, chocolate brown wide as you melted at the look.

“Is that so?” Steve’s voice was low, a deep grumble coming from his chest. His fingers found your hips, pulling him into you quickly that made you yelp, candy flying everywhere as your hands flew up to grab at him.

“Steve! Look what you made me do!”

“You still didn’t answer me.”

You groaned, looking at the mess of red candy that laid around you. He picked up a stick of licorice, taking a bite out of it before feeding it to you. You smiled around it, hand coming up to rest at his chest as you went to push him away from you. His scent of cinnamon hit you, preventing you from the motion, instead curling your fingers into the fabric of his striped shirt, sat under his vest. You dragged it up the length of his body, settling into his hair as you curled a piece of it between your fingertips.

“Hey, uhhh… you guys…” Robin’s voice was wary as she spoke across the floor, yet the two of you didn’t register it, focused on each other.

She hurriedly made her ways towards you guys, foot steps coming closer as her gaze was focused on something outside the doors. You took another bite of the candy from Steve’s fingers, looking up at him through your lashes as you made a show of it.

The bell above the door rang, signaling entry as the two of you remained distracted.

“You forgot your jacket in my…”

Your heart stopped. You recognized that voice. Eddie stood there, your jean jacket in his hand as he faltered his steps, feet away from the counter. The look on his face dropped, eyes glaring at Steve who stood in front of you. Pushing him away, you hoped off the counter.

Robin stood frazzled behind him, eyes wide as her eyes glinted between the three of you. Her mouth was dropped open, cringing at the awkward situation it was.

“Steve.”

The tone of the name had you cringing, realizing that Eddie saw you at no fault, this was up to Steve. He slowly made his way up to the counter, jean jacket being placed on the flat surface as he stared down the younger man.

“Than—” You cleared your throat. “Thank you, Eddie.”

He hummed in response, not breaking the staring contest that he found himself in. Steve shifted uncomfortably, quickly swallowing down the piece of candy he had.

“You had her jacket in your van?” The realization of the situation began to dawn on him, voice dripping with the same tone Eddie had. It was all directed towards the long haired man, leaving you out of it.

“Mhmm,” Eddie said, crossing his arms over his chest. You felt small between them, both boys beginning to size each other up. “She must have left it last night when she came over.”

You shot a look at Robin, begging her to help you as you didn’t know what to do. She shrugged at you, mouthing ‘told you so’ before turning on her heel, scurrying away from the budding altercation. Sighing, you placed a hand at your forehead, the temperature in the building rising suddenly.

“Came over?” Steve asked, stepping up to the counter, closer to him. You were grateful for the separation between them, not daring to think about what would’ve happened if it wasn’t there.

“That’s right, pretty boy.” You don’t think you had heard Eddie ever speak to Steve in that manner, them becoming ‘friends’ in the most recent months.

“That must have been after our trip in my car.” Steve’s eyebrow shot up. “To Skull Rock.” His palm pressed on the counter, leaning over in his direction. “After sunset.”

You could’ve passed out right then and there if it weren’t for the way Eddie suddenly smiled at him, teeth bared in a grin you had only seen reserved for you. He walked even closer to the counter, face inches away from Steve’s at this point.

“Touché, Harrington.”

With a quirk of his eyebrow, he turned away, walking towards the door. His hand shot out to push it open, lingering in the frame before turning to face you.

“See you later, sweetheart. Pick you up at 6, normal time?”

The subtle nod of your head had him smiling even wider, the chains around his neck clinking together as he tilted his head in response.

“She’s got plans with me at 7, Munson!” Steve’s voice shouted out to him as he exited, a loud ‘HA!’ left behind in his wake. The counter swung shut, bell ringing as the shutters on the door rattled.

You just stood there for a minute, wondering what the fuck you got yourself into. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, most definitely wasn’t supposed to be discovered like this. You closed your eyes, leaning onto the counter with your elbows, head rested in your hands.

“You are so fucked,” Robin laughed, returning to your side. You just nodded in response, palms digging into your eye sockets. Stars floated behind your closed lids, dancing in the darkness behind them.

“Shut it, Robin.”

Masterlist. Inbox and requests are open! <3

#my writing #Steve Harrington x reader #Steve Harrington x you #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson x you #steddie x reader #steddie x you #fanfic #requests #I finally wrote under 4k #Jesus h christ #hope y'all enjoyed #tell me what you think

[thisloev]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes

[ajdrawshq]

Is there any non-spoilery way you could talk about how isat isn't just about timeloops? because like I do want to check the game out eventually for sure if only because indie fun times but I'm busy for a while before I get the time and tbh I'm just not as curious because I don't know how it's gonna break that formula (also ngl no colors makes me lose 50% interest because I like. looking at colors. lots.)

UHM OK WELL UM. hm. how DO i do this without spoiling anything. im very not good at describing things especially things i Really enjoy so how do i put this . hold on i might need to look at some reviews so i know how to words. ok

as a disclaimer i havent fully interacted with a lot of (if any??) media that has timeloops so i cant say for certain what it does differently from similar media that makes it stand out from others. at the same time ive never seen something that is so directly About Timeloops in this way even if i consider stuff ive heard about in passing but i could be wrong (madoka n utena come to mind ?). ill try to think abt the things that arent Just timeloop related plus the stuff u mentioned and hope that helps it feel more interesting and less generic?

i think one of the main things i can say is that it Really makes you feel what the protagonist is feeling. more than anything ive ever watched or played or whatever . and thats saying a LOT given how much i empathize with protags in games. and its not even just an empathy thing here. both the story progression and the gameplay work in such a way that you experience pretty much everything the same way they do, while still having their own personal stuff u can learn about of course

on that note tho. that is actually something to be careful of for a few reasons. i know ur generally pretty good with darker content so i doubt thatll be a problem for u here (its not that bad tbh but there is IS a warning when u open the game/look at the steam page and it aint lying) but. due to the nature of timeloops. it CAN get tiring and this is very much intended. and this helps a lot w the story and themes in a way that its. like. think how kh days does repetition on purpose. its a lot like that (although i had way easier of a time getting thru isat than days? i cant remember how u feel abt days' gameplay but i think it was positive ? either way getting thru isat was way more bearable than days imo). it does do a good job at balancing this with a couple mechanics that mean u dont have to repeat everything all the time (i had like. Very few actual full loops by the time i finished) and theres ALWAYS new things happening, even if ur super thorough with everything. its pretty easy to do things at whatever pace u feel like and if u wanna focus on the main story only to make it easier it wouldnt take too much away from the experience (tho i do encourage talking to the npcs at least a few times), and theres always a goal to work towards. also dialogue skipping and the banana peel are ur best friends

sort of adding onto that. it really, really helps that u are sharing the experience with the protagonist. not only does that help u relate to them (even if u dont share as many traits w them as i do akvdjsn) but theyre probably the most beloved character in the game and for good reason!! its really fun to see their interactions with the rest of the main cast and the npcs, and watch them all develop in different ways throughout the game. and my goodness all of the characters are beautifully written - at first ur kinda thinking ok its a ragtag group of sillies in an rpg whats new. but their personalities and relationships and hobbies and problems and everything about them is just so well done.. they feel so natural. human even. every conversation feels real to me. one of the main themes of the game is the concept of change, and each of them represent and approach it differently, both positively and negatively. its hard not to fall in love with them as individuals and as a group because they just have so much going on, even the ones i didnt expect to like at all!!

the worldbuilding is also a fun spin on fantasy rpg worlds. it mostly revolves around the area u play in bc well. of course it does. but its vv interesting to learn about all the different cultures within the world and how they interact with and build on the themes of the game. theres all sorts of queer stuff going on and its all handled like a love letter to people who relate, and i can feel it even with what i dont relate to at all!! the way "magic" works and the ways people use it in battle and everyday life is super cool too, makes the whole thing feel a lot more believable and realistic :3 i dont wanna talk abt any specifics bc its more fun to learn abt this stuff ingame

OH AND THE TEXT.. EFFECTS?.. idk what to call that but the way dialogue (both internal and external) is written and programmed is funky as hell (affectionate). it was weird at first bc oftentimes (mostly for humor) its like. almost the way i type actually?? which feels strange in a legit game but it Works. it works so well and adds tone and vibes and a Voice in a way u usually cant get in a game without any voice acting. deltarune is also good at that but this one does it differently enough for me to consider it unique

HAVE I MENTIONED THE ART STYLE i love the art style . its so charming and expressive especially all the talking sprites n battle portraits. simultaneously silly n adorable while fully capable of being serious. and creepy. anyway look at the sillies i love them n their designs dearly (especially Siffrin (1st on the left) and Mirabelle (2nd on the left))

also on that note, the lack of colors....... i both totally understand being put off by that (i also love looking at colors n this part made me feel weird abt it when i was thinking abt getting it at first) and personally enjoy it? without saying anything spoilery (bc its really not), its just another part of the worldbuilding and themes that i now find really fun :3 should be noted that i usually have an anti blue light filter so it mightve been easier to look at w the yellowish tint going on. maybe it even looks better that way ? kinda reminded me of old films now that i think abt it.. neat!!

as a last thing i couldnt quite insert somewhere else. it is equal parts a comedy and a tragedy, and it is so, so effective at accomplishing this. the humor is fantastic and adds to the games' and characters' personality, every tragic moment is . for lack of a better word or phrase. absolutely fucking delicious. and i adore how well it can shift from one to the other gradually or in an instant, or just be both at once!!!! yippee!!!!!!!

aaand thats all i can say. i have no idea if that cleared anything up BUT i encourage u to give it a try bc i do think youd like it in the end. u probably wouldnt finish it as fast as i did but that might be a good thing jfbskndj but yeah!!!! in stars and time!!!!!! its good and i love it!!!!!!!!

#this started as me actually answering ur question n evolved into me gushing abt whatever i could get away with without revealing anything;; #literally started shaking as soon as u sent this i got so excited skgcjsbksns #(guy whos still reeling from writing several essays in 72 hour timeframe voice) i need to write an essay length post on this #i think i said a few words way too often here but im too tired to think abt that. head empty #also as a side note it works perfectly on my shitty computer that has trouble running 3ds emulator stuff so i can guarantee ur good there #theres SO MUCH i wish i could say but its either spoilers or hints too much at things that could lessen the experience. alas #it does have its flaws as all games do but its so worth it. so so worth it. im considering 100%ing it bc i just cant be done with it yet #OH its also on itchio if youd rather get it there #if ur not willing to put money into it bc u dont wanna waste it i will legit let u sign into my steam accoutn and download i am so serious #there IS a demo. but i actually recommend not playing it first. this will make things easier in the long run #ANYWAY!!!!!!! THANK U FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 #ask #mortellanarts

[myname-isnia]

Zoned out in literature and imagined an entire Kuviren smut scene and I don't know how I'll manage another lesson and then the tram ride home with it at the forefront of my mind

#kuviren #concept is such: #suiren has a bad day with resurfacing trauma and general overstimulation #kuvira tried to talk to her but suiren tells her to fuck off in no uncertain terms #unfortunately kuvira's too stubborn and cares too much to leave it be and pushes #also yeah it's established relationship at that point #eventually suiren confesses that she keeps hearing Haya's voice in her head calling her a curse and a worthless good for nothing #kuvira comforts her and then offwrs to help her with a distraction to get her out of her head #she's got a glint in her eyes. suiren is only half into is bc she's tired but agrees anyway #and the idea is that it's after they leave the anarchist commune hiding out in the mountains and forge their own path #so i guess after the gears of revolution were put in place too. but that's half relevant #point is. wherever they are now there's a floor length mirror in the room. kuvira takes suiren by the hand and leads her to it #slowly she runs her hands over her body showering her with flowing praise. telling her how beautiful she is #suiren's wearing an oversized shirt as a night gown. kuvira easily pulls it down to below her chest #and i don't think tumblr will like me continuing to describe what happens after that in detail #but the gist is that suiren is made to watch herself be absolutely done in so she can see that kuvira's praise aren't just empty words #playing with blades and edging are involved too #and eventually suiren can't think of anything else so mission completed #she finishes long and hard and looks stunning in the afterglow #kinda wanna actually write it ngl

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i am going to describe the state of being that i call: feeling unhinged #at least according to how i experienced it today. sometimes its a lil different #but i woke up at like 5am with racing thoughts. not racing in an anxious way but too much to think and trying to think all of it at the #same time. so much to think that it was hard to listen to anything because it was like my thoughts were a radio playing discordant sound #over everything else. so it was like i wasn't all the way in the present. most of me was in my head. and its like when i stop listening to #things my brain has echos. like someone's whispering in the peripherals of my mind. not in like a auditory hallucination way #just like in my head and ever so slightly out of control. its not bad. just kinda weird #and then energy. so so much energy. too much to hold in my chest. i could not be still so i ran and ran and ran and i still wasnt tired #and it was still hard to focus bc my brain was everywhere. around 1 i started to calm down and now im laying down #but i mean im not exhausted. for some reason i guess i was just possessed by a demon for a few hours. how am i supposed to get things done #bc like it would b nice if i could stop my brain from catching on fire 🔥 #like idk what to call that tho. bc it didnt feel good. it felt like im holding my head together so it doesn't explode so i dont burst into #flames. ive got so many ideas but im just sitting here with my head in my hands #just kinda unhinged #unrelated

[magical-xirl-4]

Thinking about Rukkhadevata’s design again in Genshin and how fucking bleak it is. It makes me upset because after Nahida was leaked, I thought the ORIGINAL Dendro Archon was going to look completely different and take actual inspiration from SWANA, because to me she was the TRUE Dendro Archon. I was looking forward to her so much, only to be dismayed when I realised Nahida is the actual Archon, and especially broken up about how Rukkhadevata looked. She is just… nothing. She’s beautiful, sure. But she’s just. Nothing.

She didn’t even have to be that pale!! Nahida/Kusanali (can’t remember which name) is said to be very pale in mythology which, okay fine, make her pale, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ORIGINAL AND HER PREDECESSOR? SHE DIDN’T NEED TO LOOK LIKE A GROWN VERSION OF HER OMG.

#genshin impact #Nahida #rukkhadevata #I actually still feel betrayed over this #we could’ve had it all. it could’ve been so good #I clearly put WAAY too much faith in Hoyo #I’m not even from SWANA but I was looking forward to Sumeru SO MUCH #but they gave us tired orientalist tropes and complete lack of care for visual elements #it’s just so disappointing. I really wanted to love the Dendro Archon but I can’t completely bc of what we got #like it could’ve been so good to see soemthing so visually diverse especially in a genshin character #fuck I was really looking forward to rukkhadevata and actually tricked myself that she would be different #I’m sure it’s because I love how genshin showed fantasy through different cultures. Mondstat was very run of the mill European fantasy #and getting to see Liyue was so enthralling for the first time bc I had never played a fantasy game with heavy Chinese inspiration #with both the setting. music. and characters/designs of them. same with Inazuma but to a lesser extent #bc I was more familiar with Japanese iconography (even then they didn't get the time periods right with Inazuma and Mond was mishmashed too #so SUMERU? I was so looking forward to how diverse the characters would look BC IVE NEVER SEEN THAT IN HIGH FANTASY BEFORE #only for that be totally crushed #now I have a big interest in SWANA. I never have it much thought before but genshin gave that to me #and also Gnosticism (also thanks to FFVII lol) #sumeru and SWANA representation deserve(d) so much better and way more respect in video games and other media #I’d love to see a story one day that faithfully adapts myth and legend and mixes it with accurate design

[orcelito]

the unfortunate thing about using half of my free time today to clean is that half of my free time was spent cleaning and now i have to go to work for 7 hours. sad.

#speculation nation #went to class and was like 'man im feeling Productive' so i went to the store and got a few things #came back and took out the trash replaced the cat litter and started doing dishes. AND made ramen #didnt finish the dishes bc i wanted to eat lol but i sure did get a start #and then i ate and then i was like 'fuck i dont have much time left' certainly not enough to take a nap #so i played stardew valley and took no nap and i am tired and i have to work for 7 hours #(and theres the manager meeting today. cant forget that) #waaa waaa <- sound of me realizing being productive means there's little time to be lazy. and i am tired #gotta try to go to sleep at a good time tonight bc im gonna b waking up in the morning for a Lab. 9:30 lab. tragic </3 #but i dont have to work tomorrow!!! there's that at least...

[iwantabatlleaxe]

Vent in the tags my beloved OMG THE LIMIT IS 30 TAGS NOW??

#im upset bc my boyfriend made a joke w a really sexist 'slogan' #he used quem cala consente which means who doesnt say anything is consenting which is just... i hate it so much #ive heard this so many times throughout my life and my teachers would say it frequently when it's about excusing rape #he said he wouldn't do it anymore bc I was uncomfortable but that + my gender journey + his red flags of anger issues are just... too much #for me rn. i feel stuck to him in a social context. i just wanna be myself #i hate the idea that guys are misogynists and stuff. i really want to believe my group friend isn't- and they've proved over and over that #they arent but this joke really upset me for some reason. #im tired. #also good news! i got a cane in case I have leg pain until my next appointment! #but uh. my bf kinda joked about that too. #it isnt as bad as it sounds #actually no im tired as fuck #i miss him only when I'm in need of uhm. comfort if u know what I mean #and the way he keeps saying ily makes it hard to break up. its not like i dont have reason to but still #i wanna be with him... but in this moment its hard. im. trans. and hes straight. he's straight. and I wanna be in a relationship with #someone who gets me. respecting is the minimum but I wanna be with someone who I can talk to about being trans without explaining #or- oh fuck home is playing rn. im emotional #i love him. hes great. but he has some red flags i dont want to ignore #i know he wouldnt do anything bad to me- he's always extra careful and respects my bodily boundries but I need this space for myself #what a shitty situation #im having a heartbreak? #i dont even. know anymore. #home just ended playing and a tear broke #also he keeps making jokes about me breaking up w him in like two weeks bc he keeps making shitty jokes #none are ever sexist/anyphobic #he loves and he loves with his full being and I just don't think i can handle that. i love with my fingertips then hands he loves with his #blood and smile and it's a lot #fuck #. #vent

[thingswhatareawesome]

just could not get that 12th star in pure fiction. have retried so many times, ended up playing until way fucking longer than i should have. and yet i see people clearing the whole thing with fucking 70s. partly this is what i get for not having prioritized traces on my buffing characters. also this i guess is what i get for not pulling every single uber ranked 5 star even though part of it is getting fucked over by rng (I SEE YOU STANDARD WARP AND GEPARD AND FX). but also i guess this is what i get for rng fucking me over on so many halfassed to lousy relics? i think that's what gets me--is that it's just never enough. never enough 5* never enough pulling the RIGHT ones, never enough traces done never enough truly good relics bc the game won't GIVE me them

and it's not that i'm ftp anymore, i'm doing that little monthly jades subscription and the occasional bp here and there. but it's just never ENOUGH.

#seriously i've got 80s with 80 lcs and i am pushing so many of my dps traces to completion #stats and main traces (and secondary ones on many) #but i was prioritizing dps so much that my buffers aren't the best #and ofc the chars that are perfect for this i haven't put as much work into bc they're not great otherwise??? #ie himeko and well idc if herta's great for this i don't like her or her animations/vocalizations/girl design #but like it's not enough to have argenti and jingliu and jing yuan and dhil and now blade #i guess i'll look at more guides on teams tomorrow but it always comes down to buffers #and every guide wanting tingyun and pela on every damned team well they cant' be on two at once come ON #it's like i'm being punished for daring to not like herta or topaz or rm as well as for my rng fail luck #please ignore my sr bs #no matter what i do or how many hours every day or all the info i look up and read i just am never good enough #and for everyone else it's ez even at much lower levels and i just #frustration frustration frustration everywhere i turn in this game no matter how hard i work at it #sometimes i get so fucking tired of how much HOMEWORK i'm expected to do for xiv and star rail #like you can't just have fun or play to relax everything has to be researched and minmaxed and improved to the nth degree #and you have to memorize fucking encylopedias of theory and meta and rotations and i am TIRED #can't i play to have fun without this expectation that means i get left out of everything and can't participate bc you're only allowed in #if you spend every waking gaming moment perfecting EVERY tiny miniscule tidbit about every character ever skill ever gear piece #i wish these games had a fucking middle ground and not constant casual/fun/get left out of all content vs HARDCOOOORRRRREEEE #like why are there only two extremes

[astrxealis]

on a whim and in spite of my responsibilities i have started on making a whole 9 chapter self-indulgent fic for mr. grim reaper from the hit game 'a date with death'

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #haha... so quickly did i finish the game and all endings and achievements..... #started at 3 am on a school day :)) damn. #so i have a lot of thoughts and things to say but writing is tiring so i will just say. fuck me. fuck hell. fuck all. oh god. #...so i have a big thing for white-haired fictional guys w/ red hair. at the top of my head i can think of two vampires and one grim reaper! #haha. oops. #then there is an angel... a ghoul... and idk what the fuck to call him but he isn't a normal guy. #and there's more. but. i cannot recall at the moment. uh. anyway! #wowed tbh bcs this game got me my inspiration to write for myself back....... and also to write for others. and also to write in general. #even as i yet procrastinate on something i am actually required to write! two of those #actually so uhm haha rip!!!!! but it's fun at least. writing :3 #i like having a sense of dread creeping up on me bcs when i have nothing needed to do i feel empty... gotta improve that..... #idk what game to play now tho. sigh. haven't played undertale in a bit even as i am trying to finish it and idk where i left off <//3 #omori... i am just Scared..... but will finish that alongside undertale! #currently playing persona 4 golden actually but bit tiring going through my routine of having to use my dad's laptop bcs i own a macbook he #owns a whole ass gaming windows laptop so. yeah. uhh genshin is on to grinding again so i'm sick of that. uhhh. #ffxiv..!!! i am avoiding it rn for the sake of my sanity bcs i love that game too much. in a good healthy way but also it takes up #everything i have in me so i have to. prepare for it. oops. #the recent news tho... i am trying not to perceive so i don't go insane..... #oh. i could read books. but i want to make a bunch of notes and uh that is Something indeed! bcs i am currently reading classics + #nonfiction ... science or philosophical books..... and there's rereading pjo. :)) fun

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Covid update, the vice grip pressure headache is gone, I was able to get out of bed without issues today, I actually slept through the night, AND don't feel feverish anymore 😤

#is this what yall mean by ''acute'' infection.. those past 2 days were easily some of the worst in recent memory jsjdkd #i could barely get out of bed and was half asleep most of the day; couldn't even watch a youtube video bc i was so tired #the migraine headache made me wanna avoid sound too U_U i had flashbacks to my ten week covid infection 3 years ago #and was like. oh god oh no it's happening again but i actually feel a lot better rn! gonna work on actually sitting up #for most of the day bc my POTS has been going wild since i got sick and i wanna try to mitigate those effects #i think. i want to sit outside today. idk what I'll do yet. maybe just enjoy the clouds and the breeze #i am. so excited to feel good enough to do laundry kdhfkd my bedsheets. full of fever sweat and VIRUS.... i want them CLEAN... #i have a backup set of sheets i might just slap on before doing actual laundry.. haven't decided yet #thinking out loud bc my brain is working again!!! i *was* able to play some isaac and w/ the coordination and thinking necessary #for it i think it was safe to say I'd avoided the brain fog; oh my god i might be able to read a book!! #just gotta hope. for no long covid #frankly amazed how much better i feel and am PRAYING it is a linear recovery 👁👁 #shai speaks

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hhhhh 🫠 gotta love when instead of doing literally anything im stuck anxiously vibrating for hours #like if u just did things. things would get done! thats how this works! wtf r u doing??? #2 manuscripts that r supposed to be done now and 2 applications left to complete #my mum thinks i should let my boss kno thst my brain is collapsing in on itself and like yea i prob should bc i should apologize for being #all weird and disorganized. my brain feels so weird. like it takes so so much processing power for me to remember wtf i was doing and what #i have to do next but like if i tell her it wont really change anything bc its like i have to meet these deadlines either way #also i have to b careful bc i dont wanna say yea i got horrifically burned out taking measurements but like im sure itll be fine that i #have to go back to taking measurements in January. like no prob. weve only been building up to it all year #and i kno if i say im burned out she'll be like u gotta relax more! i told u to relax so we wouldnt b here! #and then i have to be like no u dont fucking understand that i cant relax. i never relax. my life is a series of tasks and thinking abt #tasks and worrying forever. if u tell me to relax i will agony spiral for hours not relaxing and not being productive 🙃 #i just need my brain to allow me to focus long enough to get these fucking manuscripts done #but no my brain is like if u wanna do thing u gotta find the perfect audio but also i cant focus as well with audio but also i cant even #find the right thing to listen to anyway. and my brain is like u need one device playing media and 1 playing music #and like no stop. just fucking focus and stop falling apart #time time time not enough and far too much #its so weird bc i think im pretty level headed and self aware despite how my brain is sometimes. but it keeps doing this thing where #like everything gets so distorted and im like jesus its a good thing otherwise pretty grounded #blah tomorrow well see whst comes outta my mouth when i tslk to my boss #ugh im so tired whyyyyyyyyy #i cant even make proper time to draw #unrelated

[technicolorxsn]

I'm so fucking scared I feel like I'm gna throw up lol

#god #so much shit all at once and i just... fuck #last week of asl is overlapping with first week of fall term and thats fucking terrifying #im going to fucking college and thats terrifying #commuting an hour and a half over mountains every day is terrifying #and theres 2 other things im scared about and neither i should even care about but i do and one of them is paralyzing #and it shouldnt be bc its been months and it shouldnt even matter anymore but it does #i hate all this change all at once.... i just wanna go back to working at summer camp #i was so happy there.... #i got to be helpful and make people happy and have fun and play games and eat the same shitty snacks every day (youd never think u could #get tired of scooby snacks but i promise you. you can.) #i had a routine every day #my mornings were organized and my afternoons were work but it was fun #i was doing so good..... and now its all gonna change and im scared i wont be able to get my feet under me again

[wwwbestgoredotcom]

Francis Mosses NSFW A-Z ♡♡

I love him <33

Reader is gn but has female anatomy.

A-ftercare (What're they like after sex)♡

Very very tired. Everything he says afterwards is either slurred or murmured. Very cuddly tho. Will not let you go. Very sappy afterwards too; telling you he loves you and how pretty and perfect you were/are.

Takes him a second to do it but eventually gets up to get you some water while you go to the bathroom (always pee after sex!).

B-ody part (favorite body part on you & him)♡

On you, he loves your hands and lips. He holds your hand a lot during sex even if hes absolutely destroying you. And he loves your lips because he just likes kisses (and how they look wrapped around his dick). Between tits or ass tho, I think he'd prefer boobs (not pun intended). Even if their small, he looves them.

On him, he'd say his hands are his favorite. He likes the way the have so much effect on you. Like when he fingers you or grabs onto your hips or thighs or when he grabs your hand during sex.

C-um (anything to do w cum basically)♡

I think he'd prefer to cum on your stomach or ass. Though I do think he'd cum inside every once in a while. When you suck him off, he let's you take control of his dick tbh. If you want him to cum all over your face, then he will. If you want it in your mouth, then he will. If you want it on your boobs, he will. He just wants to please you fr.

D-irty secret ♡

I feel like he'd have plenty of them. A main one tho is that he's stolen one of your panties and jerked off with them before. He felt guilty afterwards so that was the only time he did that. The others are small enough for him to forget about it

E-xperience (his past experiences)

♡

I feel like he had NO BITCHES before you came (tee hee) along. He was a quiet kid and just focused on himself, maybe had a couple gfs and intimate moments but you're probably the first "real deal" to come into his life in terms of love.

F-avorite position ♡

He'd like the classics. Like missionary, cowgirl, doggie, etc etc. He'd probably like missionary and cowgirl most. Missionary because of the intimacy. Cowgirl bc sometimes he wants some but he's tired (and boobs).

G-oofy (how serious/unserious are they during sex)♡

He's pretty in the middle. Sometimes he likes to slowly fuck you while you two have a normal conversations so sometimes there's jokes thrown in there. But if it's rougher/faster, he's more serious.

H-air (what kind of hair they got down there)♡

I think he trims it. Keeps it tame. He doesn't shave it clean tho, unless you tell him to, then he might. For the rest of his body, he does have some hair but not a lot.

I-ntimacy ♡

Oh this boy is INTIMATE. The kind of mf that looks at sex like "love-making" instead of just "fuck". Loves praising and listening to what you say. You say harder and he goes harder, you say slower and he goes slower, etc etc. Most of the sex you two have will most likely be when he's tired/half awake so all the praise and such are slurred in such a beautiful way yk.

J-ack off (how often does he jack off)♡

Other than what I said in the dirty secret section, he doesn't really do it anymore. Why imagine you when he has you right there?

K-inks ♡

Praise - he likes receiving and giving praise. He likes talking you through it, telling you how good you feel and how much he loves you.

Marking - he'd like to leave hickeys on you, not for a way to "claim" you, but just because he wants to and he likes your reaction to it when I sucks on your sweet spots.

Overstimulation - he likes to BE overstimulated. Sometimes he wants to keep going but his body doesn't or he's too tired so he just begs you to just ride him til he cries or passes out.

Nipple play - he likes to pinch and massage your boobs a lot. Even if you're not having sex, his hand lives on your boob. Most of your foreplay is him sucking and nibbling on your nipple, pinching your other one while he fingers you.

L-ocation (their favorite locations to do it)♡

I feel like he'd only want to do it at home. He doesn't like public stuff. At home tho, he'd do it anywhere; on the dinner table, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, living room, anywhere. He could do it in the car tho. Maybe if he gets too worked up after a date and your apartment is too far away.

M-otivation (what turns him on)♡

Tbh. Everything. Skin tight shirts, your sleepwear (no matter what it is), etc. He likes when you take care of him too, just loving him turns him on.

N-o (some turn offs)♡

I'm so sorry yall but I think he'd say no to bdsm. Like maybe SOME parts of it he can do but like hard-core bdsm is a no.

He wouldn't want to actually hurt you in any way. Spanking is ok if it's not full force but like actually causing you pain is a no.

And he wouldn't like shit with pee, poop, and vomit. Shits nasty.

O-ral ♡

Oh bro. He EATS. Man can eat you out for hourss if you let him. He was a little shit at eating pussy at first but with more practice, he gets better and better. Like I'm talking about EATING pussy. There's no kitten licking with him, he is in. There.

And he loves when you suck him off. He talks while you do but they're all murmurs so no one knows what he's saying. He fucks your face gently (unless you tell him you want it rough) everytime. Mutters praises all throughout it and let's out of raspy moan when he cums.

P-ace ♡

Unless he's dead tired, he goes at whatever pace you want. When he's dead tired he wants to go slow and sensual. But if he had energy, he'll go at whatever pace you want him to go at. He starts off slow but if you tell him to go harder and harder he will beat that pussy numb.

Q-uickie (opinions on quickies)♡

I think he'd want to take his time with you so quickies are eh to him. If you seriously cannot wait but you can't leave wherever you are for too long, he'll take you somewhere private to eat you out till you're satisfied (or suck him off until he's satisfied).

He will leave an event for the day to have sex with you tho. If it gets that bad.

R-isk♡

To keep it short, he'd be down for experimenting as long as it's not in his "no" list.

S-tamina ♡

Again, depends on you. If you wanna ride him till the sun comes up, he'll thug it out for you. He likes overstimulation anyway. But tbh he rlly only goes for 2 rounds until you have to take over.

T-toys (toys they own)♡

I don't think he has any toys for himself. And he wouldn't really care if you had your own toys. He's fucked you with your toys before; like a vibrator up to your clit while he fucks you or a dildo in you while he sucks on your clit.

U-nfair (do they tease? And how often)♡

He doesn't really edge or tease you, but when he does, it's on accident. Sometimes he pulls out to cum on your stomach and accidently edges you. He doesn't mind when you do it to him. Feels good.

V-olume (how loud are they during sex)♡

Loud asf. Like I said, he talks during it, like murmuring and slurring his words. He's a moaner and whimperer too. Occasionally groaning but not really.

He LOVES when you're loud tho. He encourages it actually. Turns him on more.

W-ild card ♡

To add onto "volume", he talks dirty so much, even if it's under his breath. Like omfg the filth that comes out of his mouth is so unexpected.

Also, the amount of times you two were getting rough with it and he got that phone call (ykwim), he doesn't stop. He slows down a bit but just continues while you struggle to not blow you're cover.

X-ray (what's in those pants)♡

He's pretty average. Long, kinda thin, a vein on the top of his shaft from the base to the middle of it. He's about 6-7 inches, and he knows how to use it. Tbh I can't decide whether he's circumcised or not so you can personally decide that.

Y-earning (how high/low is his sex drive)♡

Surprisingly high. He's down to fuck whenever. Unless he's literally about to knock out cold. But if he's awake then so is his dick. He barley asks for sex tho, he wants YOU to initiate it. He just gives hints.

Z-zz (how fast he goes to sleep)♡

Like I said before, he's literally so tired afterwards. Once he makes sure you're okay and comfy, he snuggles close to you and sleeps.

I love him your honor.

#fanfics #oneshot #x reader #female reader #gn reader #i love him so much omg #smut #fluff #francis mosses #Francis mosses x reader #not my neighbor #francis mosses x you #milkman x reader

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

Paying For Someone Else's Mistake - Logan Sargeant

Request from @monacosprince - tbh i’m so mad and williams for what they’re doing to logan! can you please write a fic where logan is upset and self doubting over the situation and reader helps him???

Ngl reader is going to be an angry, overprotective little girlfriend in this. If you don't like that vibe, I'm sorry but I feel like Logan needs a girlfriend who will stand up for him when he's feeling down. She's a little bit...bad-tempered shall we say. We are also going to feature bestie!Oscar being a good friend bc despite popular belief I'm sure he's there for Logan to make sure he's ok.

When it comes to dating Logan, y/n is not afraid to use her voice where Logan might try to be quiet. He's got an image as a patriotic America but he's such a soft soul and so isolated as a driver on the grid. Y/n can't help but let a more protective over him.

Y/n and Logan started dating towards the end of the season last year. She's been his main support system in giving him the confidence her gained back after losing it so much last season. He absolutely adores her and he would do anything for her. But she does a hell of a lot in return for him and he's given a lot of credit to her publicly for everything because he isn't ashamed to admit that she's genuinely that amazing to him.

"Hey, I was wondering where you'd got to." Logan smiles as y/n appears in his drivers room ahead of FP1.

"I always here when you need me." Y/n states brightly moving to kiss him. "How you feeling?"

"Good. Have you been enjoying the sun? You're warm." Logan comments making her laugh a little as he places the back of his hand to her cheek.

"Yeah, it's nice out. Before we go to Japan we should get ourselves down the the beach for a day or something." Y/n grins before Logan's trainer, Ben appears smiling at the two. "Time to go?"

"Time to go." Ben confirms making her gesture for Logan to go ahead, but he links their hands and pulls her with him as Ben leads them.

-

Y/n felt bad for Alex. She knows Logan has anxiety about crashing and causing damage to the car sometimes means he plays it on the safer side or if he does push himself like he wants to and it doesn't work out, then she makes sure he remembers that everyone makes mistakes. Even Max managed to give his floor a beating today.

Obviously y/n isn't involved in the debriefs and meetings following practices but James and the team need to talk with the boys about a problem.

Ben appears before Logan does and he looks like he's just been kicked in the stomach.

"What's going on?" Y/n frowns but before he can answer, Logan appears looking disheveled and like he's been trying to stop himself from crying. "Baby? What's happening?"

"Nothing. I'm tired, just want to get out of here." Logan states which raises alarms anyway because Logan is never that eager to leave. Even tired and jet lagged.

"Probably best to go back to the hotel and rest." Ben confirms making y/n's frowns deepen. They're not telling her something and she doesn't like being kept in the dark.

Logan all but rips his suit off as if it's burning him to wear it and actually he does tear his fireproofs in the rush to get them off.

Y/n has to bite her tongue to not demand an explanation. She feels like she's sort of on the verge of stomping her foot like a toddler and shouting for someone to say something. There's nothing more upsetting than seeing Logan so upset.

They finally get out and when they do, they pass Oscar who stops them to talk to his long term friend.

"Hey, mate. How's it going?" Oscar smiles, him in a good mood since it's his home race.

"Hey, sorry man. We're just heading off to the hotel. Y/n doesn't feel well." Logan lies annoyingly well, but his tone is tight and strained which makes Oscar's gaze flick to y/n.

"Sorry, you feel better y/n. I'll see you tomorrow mate." Oscar nods but Logan is already tugging her away and the questioning look on Oscar's face making her shrug in a silent conversation.

Whatever has happened, Logan doesn't want to talk about it. At least not right in this moment. In fact they get to the hotel and she's given a kiss before he mumbles that he's going to shower.

Y/n huffs sitting down with a frown before she decides to change and order room service. Which actually arrives before Logan comes out the shower. But when he does she decides to finally force it out of him, whether she has to poke him into a corner to do it.

"Logan, please tell me what's going on." Y/n pleads deciding to try the softer approach since his eyes are bloodshot and it's obvious he has been crying in the shower. He'd never want her to see it because he hates the idea of her seeing him in such a weak position. "I can't help you if you don't tell me."

"James decided to give Alex my car...they don't have the parts to repair his and he wants Alex in the race." Logan states clearing trying not to choke on his words.

"He what?" Y/n frowns actually retracting back in disgust and trying to figure out if she really just heard him wrong. "Say that again."

"Baby-"

"No. No. That's-That's not ok. What the hell?" Y/n frowns getting up and beginning to pace. "Was I watching the wrong car when I saw a driver send a Williams into the wall? I don't remember you climbing out the smashed up car."

"Baby, it's-"

"Don't you dare say this is ok. This is not ok. I-" Y/n cuts herself short about to say something that would only add to his upset which is pretty visible really. "You deserve better, Logan. They have no right to do that."

"I know. But they've done it for the better of the team. I understand. Alex is the stronger driver-"

"Alex sent his fucking car into a wall! No other team would do this. If he can't keep his car on the track knowing the team doesn't have the means to fix it. Then that is not for him to get to continue! It is not your mistake to pay for." Y/n snaps not angry at Logan but she can't contain it. She softens a little, her body unable to fight the instinct to hug him tightly. "You are worth so much more than how they treat you."

Logan sighs resting his chin on top of her head as she rests in on his chest.

"I just need you right now." Logan whispers making her close her eyes hoping to prevent tears that are building.

Y/n hates this. Right now she'd go as far to say she hates the whole team for hurting Logan like this.

"We can eat, get in bed and cuddle?" Y/n offers moving her head back to look up at the blonde. "Yeah?"

"Sounds good." He nods managing a ghost of a smile.

-

Logan's alarms came and went. He's awake but certainly in no rush to get out of bed, favouring lying his head on y/n's stomach while she plays with his hair.

"Would you stay with me if I lose my seat before the end of the season?" Logan asks breaking the peaceful but cold silence between them.

"Don't even talk like that." Y/n mutters trying to keep her voice void of the anger that it's verging on the edge of. "You are not going to lose your seat before the end of the season and even if you did-which is not going to happen. I would never leave you because of it...I would never leave you if you gave me the choice. Full stop."

Logan only responds by turning his head to hide his face against her skin.

"Logan..." Y/n tries, swallowing thickly at the knowledge he's hurting in such a way.

She tried not to think much of him deciding he doesn't need to be in any rush to get to the paddock. But he did reach over and put his phone onto do not disturb after the alarm and it seemed to starting going crazy. People had definitely tried to call, he was meant to be in.

"We can't stay here forever." Y/n whispers rubbing her hand through his hair but he doesn't reply.

So instead of pushing, she just remains quiet and gives him the time she knows he's silently asking for.

After another 15 minutes of just playing with his hair. She keeps herself quiet when he finally shifts up and looks at her, but he quickly kisses her softly and smiles at her but it's forced.

"Are you practicing smiling with me?"

"Apparently not if you have to ask." Logan sighs then sitting up. "I just want to stay here with you."

"I know. I don't think anyone would blame you for not showing up today. Or even just saying you want to fly over to Japan."

"You think?" He asks looking slightly amused but not quite enough for it to reach his eyes.

"Well I'd understand and I'm the only one who matters here." Y/n smiles earning a small laugh. "I love your smile...don't let them ruin your smile today."

"For you, I'll keep smiling." Logan promises making her smile and move to kiss him.

And just like that they're up getting on with the day.

When they get to the paddock the level of support for Logan is overwhelming, though y/n actually had already found the support for her boyfriend online was insane. A little harsh on Alex, though maybe initially she'd felt like finding a car to run over the rebuilt F1 car and destroy the second chassis to make a point.

Logan doesn't really see Alex but y/n couldn't promise not to be slightly cold towards him.

It wasn't Alex's decision. James made the decision.

But it's Alex's crash, so she holds him somewhat at fault for this. Even if it's more on the team's completely unacceptable state of not having spare parts like the spare chassis they need.

"You're not smiling." Logan comments making y/n lift her eyebrows quickly from how deep they'd furrowed.

"Just thinking." Y/n mumbles before managing a smile at him as he relinks their hands. "I like seeing them show you all the love you. I think you needed to see that people are here for you."

-

Y/n doesn't know if she's spent so much of her life straining herself from punching people in the face. She'd happily use most of the Sky Sports commentators as target practice.

Her mum would scold her for such violent thoughts. Hell if Logan could read her mind then he might even try to settle her fiery urges.

She's flexed her hands more times to try and unfurl them from the tight fists she'd held them in for the better part of an hour.

She's not even been watching the screens. Only focusing on Logan while he stands with engineers.

Only once they're out of the garage when practice is when she discover fans saw her on broadcast and have duped her as Logan's "scary dog privileges" and apparently fear for Alex or James to cross her.

"Fantastic." Y/n mumbles walking around the paddock only to find herself caught in Oscar's company and he looks pretty amused.

"You look like you might be ready to knock someone down with a headbutt." Oscar comments making her hum. "How's he doing? I haven't got to talk to him?"

"Better now he knows the amount support he's getting." Y/n sighs while crossing her arms. "But he doesn't really want to be here. He'll probably leave early."

"I don't blame him. I get it, but-"

"No. It wasn't his crash to pay the price for." Y/n cuts in not standing for a second of it. "I'm sick of seeing people try to justify it. If one more person tries to say that it's understandable but not fair, I'm going to knock them down and stand on their windpipe till they're blue."

"Every time we talk I'm happier and happier that I'm on your good side." Oscar comments earning a small smile that in different circumstances would've been a laugh. "I'm glad Logan has you...It took him a long time to find you, but you perfectly balance him out. I think he needed someone who so...loyally defends him."

"People talk shit about him constantly. Then this happens...How is he supposed to stand by a team when they publicly humiliate him like this?"

Oscar only looks at her in sympathy.

"Anyway, I don't want to bring down your mood for your home race...you're looking really good out there." Y/n smiles lightly trying not to be a completely moody bitch.

"Thanks. If there's one race I want to go well, it's the home race."

"Well I have faith in your capabilities to make that happen." Y/n smiles before she swallows. "I'll be rooting for you to take pole in qualifying."

"That might be pushing it." Oscar chuckles but she shrugs and just leans over kissing his cheek with a one armed hug.

"I'll still be rooting for you, I'm going to go be a moody bitch elsewhere."

"I know Logan appreciates it."

Y/n sighs moving through the paddock frowning at cameras focusing on her and burning some holes through any sight of Sky commentators. No doubt that will be clipped and posted soon enough.

By the time she sees Logan briefly before qualifying, she finds he's with Alex.

"Hey, y/n." Alex greets seeming to try to be his usual friendly self but he's met with a cold shoulder.

"Alex."

"What y/n means is...happy birthday." Logan smiles linking their hands and squeezing hers in a push to be nicer but she only shoots a fake smile to the older man.

Alex makes a quick excuse of needing to get ready before he leaves while Logan sighs turning to her with a look that is supposed to make her feel guilty.

"I don't feel bad." Y/n states making Logan sigh.

"I know you're being protective. But you can't make Alex the enemy." Logan smiles sadly while tucking some strands behind her ear. "You know I love you...and I love that you're upset for me. But you can be nice to Alex...especially on his birthday."

"I'll consider it." Y/n murmurs earning a smile from the American since he knows she's still just being hesitant because she's upset.

"He was saying he will had to tread carefully after seeing the clips of you in practice." Logan smiles earning a small smile before he gently cups her face. "It's just one weekend."

"I know."

She hopes he's right. Though she's seen James talk about them "hoping" to have a chassis ready for Japan.

But that's a problem for another day.

"How are you feeling?" Y/n asks making Logan look at her for a moment.

It reads on his face. He can paint a smile on but damage goes deeper than skin deep.

"It still hurts. But it's my hurt to feel."

"You know asking me not to hurt for you is like asking me to just stop caring."

This decision is damaging to the team. It's damaging to Logan's confidence. If Alex fails to get even 1 point, it's damaging to his reputation. But for y/n, she knows that regardless of what's said, and regardless of how James might try. This is going to stick with Logan possibly long after he's out of the team.

Y/n hates that someone has the power to hurt him like that and did hurt him like that. James used that power and swung it like an axe into Logan's side, whether he wanted to or not that's exactly the damage that's been done. But the only thing y/n hates more than that, is she hates that she can't fix it.

"I'll try to be better." Y/n sighs making him smile lightly and pat her.

"That's all I ask."

Y/n grunts a little still not being able to stop herself from voicing her disapproval.

"I love you." Logan smiles lightly then gently kissing her.

"I love you too."

"Alright, let's get moving. And please try not to look like you might bite James' ear off if he gets too close."

"No promises that I won't bite his ear off if he gets too close. At least if I look like I'm going to do it, he'll not risk coming too close to me."

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