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#i gotta cool it with the angst huh
mypoisonedvine · 1 month
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𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 | angus tully x reader
sequel to 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲, won't really make much sense without reading that!
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | holiday break can only last so long, but angus wants this to be more than a fling-- and you, as much as you want to deny it, already know it's more than a fling. the question remains if either one of you will admit it.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 5.3k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | SMUT (18+ only!!), age gap (not huge but angus is 18 and the reader is just out of college), semi-public sex, breeding kink, very inappropriate activities in a church, secret relationship, a wee bit of angst and fluff at the end!
part 3 coming soon!
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“Fuck, I don’t wanna go back,” he groaned, dropping his head defeatedly into the crook of your neck.  “I never wanna go back to that horrible fucking school.”
“I guess you’ll just see me at Easter break then, huh?” you purred, grazing your teeth over his ear.
“You know, if sex with you keeps lining up with the Catholic calendar, it’s gonna give me a complex or something,” he noticed.
“Oh, I can do better than that,” you beamed.  “Next time you see me at Mass, I won’t be wearing any panties.  And you’ll be the only other one who knows.”
He perked up again, balancing himself over you with bent arms against the mattress.  “I swear, you’re a dream come true.  A really fucked up dream I had after seeing a porno mag or something.”
You laughed, but it was cut off with him pulling you into another kiss— sweet and slow, with both of you smiling against each other.  With your limbs tangled together under the sheets, you melted together into your bed; and no, none of it really seemed real yet.  Every time this happened, you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that you were hooking up with Angus Tully.  Frankly, you were sort of trying not to think about it, at least not too much.  If you really tried, you could look at his face and see the little kid you babysat all those years ago, and it just made you feel sort of awful about it… yet you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.
Your smile fell into a gasp when he started to kiss your neck, his hands guiding your back as it arched slightly.  When he pressed his body against yours, you felt him getting hard against your leg, and you groaned softly.
“Fuck, Angus, again?” you whined.  “We already went twice—”
“I’m leaving in two days,” he explained, “I need you as many times as I can get away with it.”
You wanted to protest, say something about how sore you were or about how he needed to leave and go back home before someone noticed he was gone— but his slender fingers were already diving between your legs and making you just moan instead.
“See?  You’re wet already,” he noticed with a playful mockery to his tone.  “I’ve gotta take care of you, baby…”
Oh, you couldn’t stand it when he talked like that— when he made you feel so vulnerable to him, so paradoxically submissive.  When this started a couple weeks back, it was the other way around: you were the cool, older woman with all the power.  You told him what you wanted and he was more than happy to oblige, never questioning you— he was obedient, basically.  But once you’d had a few more encounters, he realized that you wanted him just as badly… that he could make you desperate, if he wanted.  Once he’d had the smallest taste of control, he was suddenly a changed man; now, he loved to tease and taunt you, see how far he could push you, even once he made you beg— and you expected you’d never get to live that down. 
He watched your face with a mischievous smile as he slowly slid two fingers into you, watching the way you winced and then relaxed.  “I’ll be careful,” he promised, “I know you’re all sensitive still… thought you might wake up the whole house with that last one.”
You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks flushed, remembering how he’d had to cover your mouth with his hand when he made you come.  These were issues you hadn’t considered much before, since you spent most of the year living in a dorm where you didn’t really care if anyone heard what you were up to.  Staying in your parents’ house again— and secretly fucking their friends’ son in your childhood bedroom— posed new challenges to say the least.
You gasped when his fingers curled inside you, rubbing that spot that made everything clench for a moment.  “Mm,” he observed encouragingly, “like that?”
“Yes,” you hissed under your breath.  Just when you began to let your eyes fall shut, they shot open when he added a third finger inside you.  “Fuck!” 
“Oh, don’t be dramatic,” he scolded, “you can fit three fingers just fine— my cock’s bigger than all that anyways.”
He twisted the fingers inside you as your hips rocked, shivers running over your skin.  “Yeah, but still— fuck, it’s a lot…”
“You take it just fine,” he assured.  “You take whatever I give you, huh?”
“Sh-shut up,” you whimpered, and he laughed softly.
“You’re so good for me,” he continued anyways, making you bite your lip in hopes he wouldn’t notice his effect on you.  Whenever he said stuff like that, you just wanted to ask him who the fuck he thought he was— it made you want to shove him off of you and pin him down, remind him of his place.  But you never did, because letting him take control always felt so damn good…
His head dipped down a bit under the covers— and his lips latched onto one of your nipples, making you gasp and grab his hair with one of your hands.  “Oh god— yes,” you praised, shuddering a bit as he suckled hard on the bud.
He moaned around it, his free hand holding the other breast and keeping you down even when your back longed to arch deeper.  “You get so wet when I do this,” he noticed as he pulled away briefly, moving to suck the other for a moment as his fingers gently pumped into you.  When he pushed them in all the way to the knuckle, at the same time that his tongue swirled around your nipple just right, your patience finally gave in.
“Just fuck me,” you begged, tugging harder on his curls as you felt him smile against your skin.  “God, I just— fuck—”
He pulled away from your breast with a pop and a grin.  “Just ask nicely, baby, and I’m all yours.”
“I know you want to, just fuck me,” you growled, but he shook his head and you clenched your jaw.
“You can say it,” he encouraged, “just use the magic word.”
You rolled your eyes, hating the juvenile way of describing it, but his fingers were still moving inside you and you just needed it too bad— “Please,” you breathed.  “Please fuck me.”
“There you go,” he praised, slowly pulling his drenched fingers out of you and moving his hips to line up with yours instead.  He was so hard; you were almost impressed with his resolve, though at the moment you were mostly just annoyed with it.  “Look up at me,” he demanded, making you meet his gaze before he pushed himself inside you.
It was almost too intense, looking right into his eyes as he thrust into you carefully— you bit your lip, watching the heavy sigh of relief leave him as he filled you.
“Fuck,” he whispered, his eyes scanning all over your face and watching your expression change as he pressed his cock as deep as possible.  “You’re fucking perfect.”
You didn’t really believe that, but you at least would concede that this moment was perfect.
You held tighter onto him, legs wrapping around his hips, as he leaned in closer and moaned against your neck.  “How am I supposed to leave when you feel this fucking good?” he groaned lowly, and you felt yourself already beginning to pulse inside as you moved closer to the edge.  “I feel good too, right?”
Poor thing— if only he knew that it was his own fault you withheld praise, just because he sounded too precious when he asked you for reassurance like that.  He was really fucking talkative, way more than you expected; sometimes you thought if you didn’t say anything, he’d just go off on these wild tangents about how bad he needs you.  “You feel good,” you replied, trying to keep it a little vague so he’d ask for more.
“How good?” he asked with a grin, and you smiled, too, because he was wonderfully predictable sometimes.
“So good,” you cooed, “so fucking good that I’m gonna come way too fast.”
“Hey, that’s my thing,” he joked.  His stamina had definitely increased a lot in just a few encounters, but he still had a habit of coming quickly if you got him a bit too riled up.  Not that you really minded… it was still cute, after all, and he usually made it up to you one way or another.
He picked up his pace, letting out a low moan against your ear.  “Tell me you want me to come inside you,” he ordered, panting with each quick thrust.
“Fuck, Angus, I want you come,” you replied, whispering against his ear.  “I want you to fill me—”
“Fuck…”
“And put all your come so deep in me—”
“Fuck, baby,” he whined again.  “I’m so fucking close.”
You whined, running your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling your chest get tighter as you moved closer to the edge.
“Tell me you want me to breed you,” he added; okay, so much for predictable…
“Wh-what?” you choked, feeling suddenly hot all over.  “Angus, I—”
“I know, you won’t,” he soothed, “it’s just, you know, pretend… just say you want it, please.”
You swallowed but nodded, holding on tighter to the back of his neck.  “I… I want you to get me pregnant.”
“God, yes,” he whined through his teeth, fucking you faster.
“I-I want you to fill me up so I can have a baby,” you continued in a whisper, and he moaned again as his grip on your hips tightened.  You could hardly believe what you were saying, nor that he had asked you to say it, and yet it made the most wonderfully bizarre feeling stir inside you— strangest of all, it was turning you on.  “F-fuck, Angus, I’m gonna come.”
“You’re gonna come with me?” he pressed, sighing when you nodded.  “Fuck, let’s do it— we’ll come together.  That’ll definitely get you pregnant.”
“Jesus, Angus,” you hissed, “what are you talking about?”
“It doesn’t get you hot, thinking about it?” he challenged.  “Thinking about us making a baby right now?  Imagining how good it would feel to let me breed you and make you a mommy?”
“Sh-shut the fuck up,” you grunted, but you were already trying to hold it back.
“God, you want it so bad,” he noticed— how was he only this perceptive in these sorts of situations?  “You want me to come in you and knock you up, I can tell.  You’re gonna come just thinking about it.”
Even though it wasn’t really just thinking about it— it was him fucking you deep and fast and hard after a whole night of making love— you were forced to bite your lip and nod.
“C’mon, baby, I wanna feel it again,” he purred.  “Feels so fucking perfect when you come around me— you’re mine, aren’t you?”
Your heart jumped and your eyes shut tight.  “God,” you groaned in frustration, but he just smiled and held you tighter.
“It’s okay,” he cooed, “nobody has to know, it’s just me— you’re mine, right?  Say it.  Say you’re mine.”
You whined when it hit you— and nothing had ever hit you quite like that.  Tensing up inside, pulsing uncontrollably, you felt the weight on your chest lift and you dug your nails into his shoulders as he fucked you through it.  “Fuck!  I-I’m yours!” you blurted out, unable to stop it when you were drowning in your ecstasy like that.
He swore against your ear, and gave you hardly one more thrust before falling over the edge himself, groaning weakly as his body sank down onto yours.
You hoped against all odds that he wouldn’t force you to address any of what you’d just said; he looked so exhausted that you almost wanted to let him fall asleep here if it meant avoiding that conversation.  But it was just like him to only give you about ten seconds of silence before running his mouth again.
He started by just sitting up enough to kiss you on the cheek, then the lips, then the side of your forehead when you turned away.  “That was so hot,” he announced, still catching his breath, as he grinned down at you.
“That was… different,” you admitted as you hoped your embarrassment wouldn’t show on your face.  “You weren’t serious, right?  I mean, you know I’m on the pill—”
“Yeah, of course,” he assured, “it’s just, I don’t know, a fantasy.”
You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him.  “Respectfully, I thought it was more of a nightmare— you know, it’s kinda worst-case-scenario here.”
“No, no, I know— that’s why it’s fun,” he explained.  “‘Cause it’s, like, bad.  Well, not bad, but… scary.  In a good way!  Like a rollercoaster or something.”
“Yeah, sure,” you scoffed, “just like a rollercoaster.  That’s why the maternity ward at the hospital looks so much like Six Flags.”
“You know what I mean,” he laughed.  “It’s just… if it actually happened it would be a huge fucking deal… but just imagining it, just for fun I mean, it makes my heart race.  See?”
He picked up one of your hands and put it on his neck, pressing your fingers into his pulse so you could feel its rapidness.  “Fair enough,” you shrugged, “you sure scared the crap out of me for a second.”
“You liked it,” he cooed, kissing the tip of your nose.  “You like being mine, too.”
Even if you could’ve hid the reaction on your face somehow, the way your weak muscles still found the energy to clench around his softening cock gave you away; he purred as he smiled, kissing you more tenderly on the lips this time.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered to you.
“I probably look like a mess,” you laughed quietly, “I don’t even want to know what my hair looks like after a night like this.”
“Yeah, that’s how I like you, though— you look pretty all fucked up,” he explained.
You glanced over as he moved to bury his face in your neck again, only to see the slightest blue glow in the window: the early light just before dawn.  “Angus, it’s almost morning,” you noticed.  “You need to go.”
“Not yet,” he begged, hugging you tighter.  “I bet I can make you come again—”
“No,” you snapped, “if your parents find out you snuck out— and if anyone knows you came here—”
“Baby, c’mon,” he pouted, “I’ll be quick, nobody’s gonna know—”
“I swear to god, Angus—”
“Fine, fine,” he sighed, “then just kiss me before I go.”
He held your cheek and turned your face to his, and you kissed him; you hated these kisses, the ones that felt like goodbye.  They were amazing, of course, but they always broke your heart.
“I’ll see you later?” he assumed.
“You’ll see me on Sunday,” you replied.
“Nooo, I can’t wait that long,” he whined.
“Yes you can,” you breathed.  “Now get up, please, before I have to literally kick you out.”
“Fine,” he relented, climbing off of you and searching the floor for his boxers and t-shirt.
“I still can’t believe you ran here without even putting a coat on,” you remembered, “it’s below freezing out.”
“Whatever, it’s not even a block to my house,” he rolled his eyes.
“Mr. Lindy across the street takes out the trash insanely early in the morning— what if he sees you running back to your house in the snow without any fucking clothes on?!” 
“He was young once, right?  He’ll understand,” Angus laughed.
“I’m hoping he doesn’t understand,” you groaned, “‘cause if he figures it out and tells my parents—”
“I know,” he breathed, slipping on his shoes and leaning over the bed to kiss you quickly.  “It’ll be fine, okay?”
“Okay,” you smiled back.
There was a brief pause before Angus dropped his arms down against his sides, hitting his legs; “Well, I… guess I’ll see you at Mass,” he announced.
“That’s gotta be the weirdest thing to say after hooking up with somebody,” you decided.
“I couldn’t think of anything else!” he defended.  “I’m about to jump out your window, it’s already a pretty weird transition.”
“Okay, first of all, please don’t jump,” you replied, “but fair enough.  I’ll see you at Mass.”
He hesitated, suddenly giving you one more kiss— one that lingered a little more— before opening your window and beginning to climb out.
~
Mass was certainly a lot more interesting when you kept feeling Angus’ eyes on you.  His family had been just barely on time for the service, so you hadn’t been able to talk to him before it started; you could tell he was dying to know if you’d gone through with it.
You tugged on the bottom of your dress as you adjusted yourself in the pew; it was definitely a weird feeling, and you couldn’t stop worrying that someone, somehow, would see up your skirt and get an eyeful.  The anxiety of it was oddly arousing, though— it made you understand a bit better what Angus had said about the whole scary in a good way thing.
When you occasionally spared a glance at him, you noticed that Angus still looked a little underslept; you’d both been up all night just a couple days ago, but the difference was that your parents didn’t really mind if you spent most of the next day in your room, so you’d had a chance to catch up— Angus’ parents were more determined to make use of his time off from school, and had him doing all kinds of chores and activities on Saturday that prevented him from getting more than a quick nap here and there.
And they’d tugged him out of bed bright and early for church today, so he was probably still feeling the effects of an all-nighter.  That said, he certainly didn’t seem lacking in energy at the moment— he kept wringing his hands, constantly glancing at you, so noticeably that his mom lightly smacked him on the shoulder when she noticed it.
But you were looking across the aisle at him, too.  If for no other reason than how cute he looked in his shirt and tie.
After the service, as everyone mingled around coffee and donuts, Angus made a beeline towards you— you’d kind of hoped he would be a little more subtle.
“Hey,” he greeted, and you just nodded at him with a smirk.  “It’s been too long.”
He glanced at all the people passing by, stepping closer to you to let someone walk past but never moving back; he waited until no one was too close before he spoke again in a lower voice.
“Are you really not wearing any…?” he asked, an extra sparkle in his eye and a mischievous smile on his face.  His smile dropped a bit when you nodded, though, and his eyes raked over you in the most intoxicating, lascivious way.  You were sure you’d never had someone look at you like that, like they’d give anything to devour you right then— and with no panties to hold it, you felt your arousal slicken where your thighs rubbed together.
He cleared his throat and glanced over his shoulder, making sure no one was looking over at him as he adjusted his corduroys awkwardly; you licked your lips, a little too flattered by the effect you had on him.
“That’s, um, that’s…” he mumbled, tripping over his words.  “That’s really… yeah.”
“Really what?” you challenged as you bit your lip briefly, moving closer to him and all but batting your eyes up at him.
“It’s really fucking sexy,” he whispered.
“Yeah?” you cooed.  “I think it’s sexy that you think it’s sexy.”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about—” he began.
“I know,” you sighed, “me too.”
“I wasn’t even tired that day— I was wired, actually,” he laughed quietly.  “I just… I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Your heart’s pace picked up a bit, and you glanced away briefly.  “I, um… I thought about you, too.
“There’s gotta be somewhere we can go,” he whispered.  “It’s a big place— everyone’s here, if we just… found an empty room—”
“Jesus, Angus— in a church?!” you hissed.
“Come on,” he begged, “I don’t know when we’ll get a chance again— and I’m leaving tomorrow— and I want you so bad—”
“Shh,” you warned him, making sure no one was nearby again.  “We’ll figure something out— just not here.  It’s too risky.”
“But I need you now,” he insisted, voice lower and darker as he stepped just a bit closer to you.  “It won’t take us long— I mean, it definitely won’t take me long, after spending the last two days thinking about you.”
You crossed your arms, looking down at the floor, and you felt him lean in over you.  “Please, baby?” he whispered under his breath.
Releting, you took a glance at the crowd and made sure nobody was looking in your direction.  “You go find an empty room in the east wing.  I’ll talk to a few people— so it doesn’t look like we’re going together— and I’ll come find you in a few minutes, okay?”
“Great,” he beamed.  “Uh, which way is east again?”
You pointed him in the right direction and watched him bound away, sighing to yourself as you re-entered the crowd.  You got a lot of questions about your plan now that you finished your degree— and you found yourself repeating the same stock answer about how your graduate program didn’t start until the fall so you had the spring and summer to stay home.  Even though you knew you needed to kill some time to look less suspicious, you found yourself glancing constantly towards the east wing, getting more and more impatient for your chance to slip away as unnoticed as possible.
As the crowd was clearing out and nearly everyone’s attention was turned onto somebody’s new baby, you took the opportunity to disappear into the dark hallway.  As you peered around the doors, you saw Angus peeking out at you through one of the little windows; the door opened, and you slipped into an abandoned Sunday school classroom, barely having time to gingerly shut the door behind you before you felt his lips on your neck and his hand sliding up your thigh.
“That took forever,” he complained, and before you could remind him it had hardly been five minutes, his fingers were exploring between your legs.  “Fuck, what’re you so wet for?” he teased, and you groaned as you pulled him closer by his pants and hopped up to sit on the low bookshelf nearby.
“Just hurry up,” you hissed, “we need to get this over with before somebody finds us here.”
He opened his fly quickly, but struggled slightly to free himself from the confines of his trousers; you hummed a bit when he got it out, pressing it against you right away as you moved your hips up.
Thrusting into you all at once, you both sighed slowly; you took hold of his shoulders, he grabbed onto your hips, and instantly he began to fuck into you impatiently.
“God, you’re so tight,” he hissed against your ear.  “Touch yourself— I want you to come, too.”
You reached between your bodies to put a few fingers on your clit, rubbing fast in hopes that you could catch up with him.
“Do you always do what you’re told?” he mocked playfully.
“I think the fact that we’re doing this right after church proves that I don’t,” you replied.
“Guess you only do what I tell you to,” he shrugged, which really made you want to talk back, but you couldn’t because you were trying not to moan too loudly.
He moved faster inside you, and something about the angle of sitting up on the shelf was making him hit just the right spot— or maybe you were sensitive from the exhilarating fear of getting caught.
“What if I got you pregnant here?” he purred, making you arch your back slightly.  “Wouldn’t that be funny?”
“You’ve got a weird sense of humor, Tully,” you breathed, struggling not to let your voice come out all whiny and weak.
“Knocked up at St. Mary’s… it’s what God would want, right?”
“Do you never shut up?” you hissed.
“No,” he smirked, “you’re cute when you’re ticked off at me.”
His eyes met yours, and you felt a strange emotion stir in your chest: you bit your lip, willing yourself to tear away from his gaze, but you found it impossible somehow.
One of his hands moved from your hip up to your chest, palming at you through your dress.  You tensed up inside, making him wince a bit, and you couldn’t believe how close you were already.
“Oh god, baby, m’gonna come,” you whimpered, moving your hand even faster over your clit; he groaned in approval, leaning in to kiss all along your neck.
“Come for me,” he pleaded, “I’m so fucking close— please come, fuck—”
“R-right there,” you gasped, gripping his shoulder tighter— actually, that wasn’t the only place you were gripping him tighter.  He was struggling to maintain the pace of his thrusts, in fact, with how hard your walls were bearing down on him.  “Yes, yes, yes—”
“Not too loud,” he warned you, and you bit hard on your own lip to suppress your moan: it stayed in your throat instead, and you heard him gasp as he heard and felt you reaching your peak.  He had to take his hand off your chest and put it on the bookshelf under you to help keep you upright, and he looked down between your bodies to watch himself give you a few final thrusts.
He stopped suddenly, whimpering slightly as he buried himself in you as deep as he could go; you sighed and laid back on the bookshelf again, having to tilt your head to avoid a figurine of some prophet or saint that you had absolutely no interest in identifying at the moment.
Angus took a moment to catch his breath, before looking back over his shoulder and through the door’s window to make sure no one was in the hallway.  He pulled his cock out of you carefully and did his best to fit it back into his pants.  As you felt a warm oozing feeling between your legs, your face began to heat up.
“Maybe I didn’t think this through,” you realized.
“What?” he mumbled.
“I’m gonna have to go out there with nothing on under my dress, with your come leaking out of me.”
He bit his lip.
“It’s not sexy, Angus!  It’s very inconvenient!” you frowned.
“It’s both,” he insisted.  “It’s very much both.”
~
Though you did get another chance to see Angus before he left, it wasn’t that sort of rendezvous, unfortunately.  Although, just sitting and talking with him was wonderful, too— in an entirely different way.  See, that was the thing that scared you most, even more than how badly you’d come to crave his touch: how happy you felt just being with him.
He was funny, and weird, and seemed to think your stories from college were fascinating; he was well-read, especially for a high school student, and you two could chat about your favorite books— a hobby most of your classmates in college found too nerdy to sympathize with.  
It probably looked totally wholesome from the outside: two childhood friends catching up while they were back home for a while.  And you, you probably looked normal and cool on the outside— you were trying to, at least.  But inside, you were terrified.  You wanted it to be like what Angus said— scary, in a good way, like a rollercoaster— but you were starting to just feel sick.  You know, like an actual rollercoaster would…
“Everyone there is so… dumb,” Angus decided as he leaned back, looking up at the ceiling.
“That can’t be true, it’s a good school,” you tried to encourage him.
“I mean, maybe they could be smart, but they act like morons,” he clarified.  “They hate me, too, and I don’t even really know why.”
“Probably because they can sense that you think they’re all morons,” you suggested; and he looked over at you, as if he’d genuinely never thought of that before.
But instead of addressing that, he sat up again and changed the subject.  “My parents probably want me to go back and, like, put my trunk in the car and stuff…”
“Right,” you nodded, “you should go.”
“Yeah— b-but, listen, um, before I do…” he trailed off, leaning a little closer to you on the couch.  “I wanted to, you know, talk.  About something.”
“We’ve been talking for half an hour,” you noticed.
“Right, uh— I meant something specific,” he explained, his cheeks seeming to get a little bit more pink.  “I… I won’t be back until spring break, you know…”
“Uh huh,” you nodded, raising an eyebrow as you wondered what he was getting at.
“And, you know, we’ve been having such a great time,” he went on, and your heart twisted.  You’d heard this spiel before: the things are so good now, why do we need to put a label on it? why can’t we just have fun talk.  The you’re great, but not good enough for more than this talk.  You decided to jump in and spare him before he said anything too… honest.
“I get it,” you promised, and he looked at you nervously.  “We’re gonna be too far apart for too long— and you shouldn’t, you know, feel like you’re tied down to anything.  It’s okay— I didn’t think I was, like, your girlfriend or anything.”
“R-right,” he coughed, looking away and putting his hand on the back of his neck.  “Yeah, that’s— that’s what I was gonna say.  I knew you’d understand.”
You smiled, wishing you weren’t always so goddamn understanding.  “But it was fun— a good way to kill time over the break, for sure.”
“Yeah,” he agreed alongside a thin laugh.  “I… I think I’ll always owe you, for being my first time and all.”
“Well, you’ve certainly spent your first two weeks of not being a virgin pretty well,” you snorted.  “I had a good time.  We’ll call it even.”
“And… when I come back?” he pressed.  “Maybe we can, I dunno… maybe we can do it again.”
You grinned and tilted your head.  “Yeah, I like that idea.”
“But can I still call you?” he asked nervously.
“Of course!” you beamed.  “You’ll have to tell me if you get any good books assigned this semester.”
“Yeah, I doubt it,” he scoffed, but his smile lifted just a bit.
“I can come see you off, if you want,” you offered, “but it might make your mom suspect something…”
“You’re probably right,” he admitted, “I wish you weren’t, but you are— but I’ll call first thing when I get there!”
You smiled, and he gave you a hug before he left; and he promised to call again, though you’d believed him the first time.  And the next time you stayed up all night with Angus, it was on the phone— he snuck out of bed with a bag of quarters, and told you the phone was free so you wouldn’t feel bad, and talked to you about everything he could possibly think of.
Except, you didn’t quite make it all night: you fell asleep at some point, while he was talking about his English paper… not that he could blame you.
And for some reason, one that even he himself couldn’t quite explain, he kept feeding the phone quarters and listening to you sleep; he didn’t hang up until it was nearly morning and he had to sneak back into his room.
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sharksupermacy · 5 months
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our little place
out little place- huh yunijn x producer! reader
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synopsis: you and yunjin had a place always.
tags: angst, break-up, booo to hybe for making them break up, aespa being oblivious, they were actually so cute before the break up 1.7k words
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now despite you and yunjin or jennifer being on relatively bad-ish terms after the breakup, you would still rush over to her if she were to reach out to her. 
you had a bad experience to be attached to the past. so you made a rule to yourself that if that was the past call you would never answer. it was a toxic trait nonetheless you had but for some odd reason, yunjin was always the exception to this rule. 
even when one of your exes of the past called for some reason you always never answered them except her. 
it was a nice sunny day when she broke up with you. you were a producer at sm and she was a hybe trainee in a secret relationship with each other. both of your companies would definitely not like to see the top-ranked either dating each other or worse 'spilling' company secrets to each other. 
both of you were walking through a secluded park just outside of the center of seoul where the sun was shining down happily. your hand in hers, just looking like a super clingy best friend in public. both you and she sat down near a pond in the shade just admiring how the light refracted in the pool. birds chirping softly all around, the sound of a bush being ruffled while a squirrel went through it, and yunjin head on your shoulder. 
to you, this was the perfect moment until it wasn't. "hey, y/n," yunjin whispered out your name as if she didn't want you to hear it. 
"yea yunjin," you whispered back to her jokingly, still laying your head on top of hers. 
she shifted her head away from you holding your shoulder forcing you to make eye contact with her, "i want to break up."
you stood silent for a second debating if she was joking or actually serious. "is this like a joke or uh you're serious?" you questioned her as she held your shoulder still. 
she only removed her hands from your figure where she had silently nodded as her panicked eyes tried not to meet yours. two figures on the bench no more than strangers now. "can i at least ask why?" you said breaking the silence between the two of you while trying to take her hands in yours to make sure she panicked a bit less. 
she bit her lip and she cried oh so sadly. she shook her head as her hands retreated from yours leaving you alone in our or more like your little place now.
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that incident happened about nine months ago and well yunjin had made it into being an idol. meanwhile, you had gotten lucky and were assigned as aespa exclusive producer at sm. you still couldn't get over the fact that the american had broken up with you in such a matter and blocked you. 
 it was a weird experience moving on to yunjin never having the closure that you had usually gotten from your previous relationships. but there was something about yunjin that you weren't able to let go of. it didn't help that aespa was friends with yunjin always when going over to see her told you about how fun she was and thinking that both of you would get along. 
you of course brushed it off with a cool, "i uh gotta make deadlines," every time though it wasn't an exact truth it wasn't really a lie. even with about a year behind you after the incident, you were definitely not ready to face the new idol, or ever for that matter. turning back towards your bright lighted monitors that were filled with new lyrics and tracks for aespa comeback. as you hear, the four idols behind you discuss random things as you set up the booth for what they need to record next. 
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yunjin was a wreck. 
 or at least that's what she thought she was without you. ever since that fateful day of having to break up with you. in order to save face for both of you since you were outed by one of her fellow trainees. she had never felt so empty on the inside; yes, she had these amazing girls in the world to be in the group with. don’t get her, le sseafim was the most amazing thing to ever happen to her, but was it worth sacrificing her entire half to do this?
 over a month ago, she was so sure of her decision, but yet here she was crying on the floor of a random practice room at 2 a.m. with multiple calls from the two eldests and numerous messages that seemed to never end. her brain has always been scattered for the past week, no matter how much reorganizing, journaling, or songwriting she has done. 
 a blurb of the week is what it was. too fast to recount everything, but too slow to pass by. She could always find time these types of weeks to think about you. did you block her back? maybe you have someone else now? or worse, maybe you had forgotten her completely.
 whatever the case was, it didn't end her undying craving to see you or be in your presence again. the comfort you had provided the past her, the soft sunlight that always seemed to shone down on you with your walks in the parks, and that stupidly adorable laugh. for now, all she could convince herself was to hold herself back while warm tears were streaming down her face. as she utters to herself underneath her breath, ‘"i wish i could see you again,” ' while packing all her things and heading to le sserafim dorms again.
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you on the other hand were also not doing too hot either.
you weren't a complete mess per say but let's just say your bosses weren't very pleased lately with your worth ethic. checking your phone constantly for messages, how you didn't put aespa constantly at work like some fellow producers, or how long it took you to produce a song for them.
all of these criticism were slowly but surely killing your creative output and also the insurmountable pressure from fans to create another song that tops the last didn't help either.
you know what you needed yunjin. no wait. you don't need her, she left you. or at least that the argument you always battle against yourself. you went down to the vending machine as the machine light flickered, with a variety of snacks reflecting your tired figure. it was just another day of the week for you, the company barren at this unholy hour you were here.
another unhealthy energy drink entered your system by the time you had left the place where the machine was as you made your way back towards your second home. you hear slight whispers and giggles from across one of the halls. you look over curious to see who would also be at this hell hole willingly, seeing three figures you could make out. winter, ning ning, and her.
god. she look like she was doing well. you quickly turned back towards the direction of the studio after briefly seeing her not wanting to draw any attention yourself. a small smile plastered over your face as you walked away from the scene.
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oddly enough you never turned back and saw the figure looking back at you with such shock at your state.
yunjin had never once seen you look so disarrayed or sleep-deprived in her life. she knew that you still worked at sm for some time now but never knew what you were up to.
her thoughts were interrupted by an excited ning ning, "oh! that's y/n do you know her?" the youngest asked.
she looked over where your figure once was, lingering a little bit too long in her opinion to be over her ex. a simple reply of  "no," was given as the younger simply pouted, and the eldest being a little skeptical of her answers to her actions. 
“you sure?” the short-haired girl questioned, looking over at the american in disbelief. yunjin noted how her facade was slowly crumbling in front of winter. panic rushed over her taking over her head again as she felt her heartbeat slowly travel to her head like a punch each time it pounded. 
“yep,” she shakily replied as she racked her mind with a single excuse of wanting to see you. the aespa members had bought the lie for now, but she now looked at her sweaty hands gripping her phone again. wanting, no. needing to call out for you just down the hall but she couldn’t then and there, especially with people. 
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it was six am the next morning where you had received a call. you flipped over the incessant noise making phone calls to see who was crazy enough to call a person at this hour. it was you ex. yunjin. 
you looked in pure shock and disbelief. deciding not to pick up the phone but instead let it ring through. picking up the phone a minute after your ex had call you. only too see that she had left a message.
curious to see what your ex had to say after your not so amicable break up you pressed play. there a single sentence was shakily uttered out from the voice you had loved so dearly.
'meet me at our place.'
then the message had ended. you rushed out in your pajamas, towards the park you and yunjin had always visit before. grabbing only your phone and wallet before rushing out.
after 15 minutes of sprinting to the park you saw a figure sitting waiting out on the bench facing out towards the pond that both of you once enjoyed. you walked slowly out on the path now not wanting to disturb her but of course you had to step on a twig, snapping it. making the figure turn its head around facing you wide eyed and seemingly almost out words.
"you came?" yunjin uttered out in a low voice as if she was never truly expected you to show up. after all she was the one who abandoned you for no reason, explanation, and had blocked you on all social media.
you smiled at her gently, before responding softly back "you called?" finally glad too see her and talk to her once again.
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a/n: yk that one cringy like tiktok trend that happened like one year ago... that's legit what this entire premise is centered around. get tricked. anyways wanted to post smth before the smau is released. also hi... been dead for a while lol. have some content.
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nastybuckybarnes · 2 years
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Riding Lessons  -  Two
Pairing: Dbf!Bucky X Reader
Summary: It’s your dad’s summer barbecue and all his friends are there. Including the man who’s spent every moment he can with his head between your thighs. The only problem? He’s brought another woman.
Warnings: Language, Light Angst, Fluff, Smut (oral (f receiving), pussy slapping, choking, degradation, kinda rough, breeding kink, slight voyeurism, name calling), Age Gap (Reader is 21, Bucky is mid-forties),
Word Count: 3.4K
A/n: here’s part two for you guys! I’m shocked at the response to part one, so thank you guys so much!! I love you all and I hope you enjoy this!
Part one
~*~
“C’mon down, Kiddo! Everyone’s here! You gotta make an appearance!” Your dad shouts from the bottom of the stairs, waiting until you finally emerge to head back to the kitchen.
He’s been planning this summer barbecue for weeks, and now the backyard is packed full of people who are all his age, drinking and laughing and having a good time.
And then there’s you.
You’ve been cooped up in your room since the first guest arrived, but it wasn’t his presence that made you hideaway. No, it’s the plus one on his arm.
Bucky showed up an hour early with a blonde woman clinging to his arm and kissing his cheek.
The smirk on his face when his eyes met yours was enough to hurt your heart and bruise your ego, so you took your leave.
Since that first riding lesson, he’s been around far more often, and each time he takes any opportunity to get you alone. Whether that’s to bury his face between your legs or push you to your knees in front of him.
But he hasn’t fucked you since that first night. The night when he ruined all other men for you.
And now he’s showing up with a broad on his arm as if he’s not your property.
As you walk down the stairs you realize that maybe he’s not your property, and if that’s the case then you sure as Hell aren’t his.
“There you are! Everyone’s been asking where you are,” your dad says when you step into the kitchen.
Your eyes dart around the room and relief and disappointment play tug-of-war with your heart when you don’t see Bucky.
Instead, Steve and Sam are there, each of them smiling at you.
“Your dad says you learned how to ride a motorcycle, huh?” Steve asks, stepping forward and offering you a drink.
You take the cool can from him and pop it open, nodding your confirmation.
“Yup! I went on the highway for the first time the other day. I understand why you guys like it so much.”
He chuckles and nods, “we’ll have to take you with us one day. Go for a long ride on a nice day. Nothing beats that.”
You nod again, your smile fading slightly when Bucky walks into the kitchen.
“This is where you guys are? I thought the party was outside?” He jokes, opening the fridge and grabbing a beer.
“Just getting a couple things ready. Sam, you wanna bring the steaks out to the barbecue, and Steve could you grab those two bags of ice for the cooler?”
The two men are quick to help your dad, and you feel your heart drop as you realize that you might be left alone with the man you’re avoiding.
Within seconds, it’s just you and him, and his eyes are burning holes into your forehead.
“If I didn’t know any better, baby girl, I’d think you were avoiding me.”
You purse your lips and shrug, stepping toward the back door only for him to step directly in your path.
You sidestep him and crane your neck back to look up at him, “I don’t see how it concerns you. You brought your own arm candy.”
His eyebrows raise to his hairline as you step outside.
“You jealous, sweetheart?”
You don’t answer, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing the effect he has on you, though you’re sure he already knows.
Instead, you head outside and look for anyone you know that would make good conversation.
Settling on Steve and Sam again, you walk in their direction, only for a firm hand to come around your wrist and tug you backwards.
You inhale sharply, looking up at Bucky as he pulls you back into the kitchen and closes the door to the backyard.
“I asked you a question, Princess. You know I don’t like to repeat myself. Or do you not remember?”
You remember.
By God, do you remember.
He’d fucked your throat so hard that you couldn’t speak for two days, and you loved every minute of it.
“Let me go, James. You came here with someone, and I doubt she wants to see your hands on someone else.”
Shock colours his features and he stares at you for a long moment before grabbing you by the waist and shoving you over the counter.
He flips your skirt up and smacks your ass hard, once, twice, three times, until you’re biting your lip to hold back your yelps and whines.
“I don’t like this attitude from you. What happened to my good girl? Huh? Where did she go? Do I need to fuck this attitude out of you? Is that what it is?” His words are whispered harshly and you whimper, your eyes locked on the party outside.
“Y-you brought a girl… it’s not fair…” You’re not sure if it’s not fair for you or for her, but you know that this isn’t right.
Nothing about this is right, but that’s never stopped you before.
“Yeah, and she knows that she’s just arm candy, ‘cause a certain bratty twenty-one-year-old has the best pussy I’ve ever had, and that bratty little bitch has me addicted.”
Your cunt clenches at his words and you hide your face in your hands, hating the fact that everything this man does turns you on.
He slides his fingers over your centre and groans at the feeling of your wet core dripping through your panties.
“These are coming off. They’re mine now.” He yanks them down your legs then brings them up to his face, taking a deep breath through his nose and groaning lowly.
“God, I need to have this pussy in my mouth. Never tasted anything better, honey, I swear.” He drops to his knees behind you and pushes your legs apart slightly, then traces your slit with his tongue.
You pull in a shaky breath and push onto your elbows, dropping your head as his tongue finds your clit.
“Bucky,” you whisper, arching your back slightly to give him better access to your dripping heat.
He devours you like you’re the first meal he’s had in days, drinking up everything you have to offer and paying special attention to your clit.
“Cum on my tongue, pretty girl, c’mon. I wanna feel you cream on my face.”
You let out a choked moan, your eyes snapping open when you hear a voice approaching the kitchen door.
You push up until you’re almost standing straight, but Bucky smacks your ass once harshly in warning.
“Don’t even try to move, sweetheart. I’m not finished with you. Stay quiet, like the good girl I know you can be.”
You nod, reaching across the counter for a phone to make it seem like you’re busy doing something other than getting eaten out by your dad’s best friend.
“You found your way back inside, huh?” Steve asks after sliding the door open, an easy grin on his face.
“Yeah, it’s, uh, it’s really hot outside,” you whisper, terrified of bringing your voice any higher because you know you’ll moan.
Bucky’s lips wrap around your clit, sucking harshly, and you bite your bottom lip so hard you taste blood.
“Yeah, it’s summer. It’s usually pretty hot,” Steve says with a chuckle, reaching into the fridge to grab a bowl of potato salad.
“C’mon, food’s almost ready.”
You nod, squeezing the phone tighter in your hands when Bucky slides two thick fingers inside you.
“I-I’ll be out in a minute. I just gotta... sen a text...” It’s taking all your self-control not to reach behind you and thread your fingers through Bucky’s hair.
You’re so fucking close.
You can feel your legs trembling and your walls fluttering, but Steve is still in the fucking kitchen.
“You kids and your phones.” He shakes his head and leaves the kitchen, and you groan immediately after, pressing your forehead to the counter and leaning your hips back into Bucky's face more.
He fucks his fingers into you faster, massaging your g-spot every time his fingers slide into your heat, and his mouth works your clot in time with his fingers.
“Bucky… Bucky I’m gonna cum, oh fuck, please, please let me cum.”
He groans against your heat and sucks your clit harder, his tongue working over the bud while his fingers assault your walls.
A choppy moan leaves your lips and you bite your forearm to try and suppress the noise as you cream on his face.
Your legs tremble and your cunt flutters around his fingers, and he slurps up every drop of your essence that he can reach with his talented tongue.
“Fuck, you taste like heaven,” he whispers, placing a kiss on your throbbing clit then pulling his fingers from your core. You can hear the filthy sound of him sucking them clean, and then he’s rubbing the backs of your thighs gently in comfort.
“You okay, honey?”
With a soft whimper, you nod, allowing him to pull you into his arms and hug you softly.
“Good. Now, go on and eat.”
You nod again and he smiles before pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“Good girl.”
~*~
You nibble on a piece of watermelon, eyes focused on Bucky as he talks and laughs with your dad as if he didn’t just have his face buried between your thighs.
“You okay, kid? You seem kinda distracted today,” Steve says gently, nudging your knee with his.
You snap your gaze to his and nod, taking a deep breath then smiling.
“Yeah, I just… I didn’t get a good sleep last night. I’m kinda tired.”
He nods sympathetically and pats your shoulder, ”do you want me to go grab you a red bull or something? Make you some coffee?”
You smile warmly at him and shake your head, “I’m okay, thank you though. I think I just need some water.” You rise to your feet and make your way inside, trying your best to walk normally even though you can feel eyes boring into your back.
When you get inside you go straight to the bathroom to splash cool water on your face.
You can’t keep doing this.
Keep letting him have his way with you and pretend nothing happened. You’re gonna slip up one day and then it’s gonna be game over.
As your mind starts to race to all the worst-case scenarios, the doorknob turns.
“Uh, occupied!” You call.
The doorknob continues turning and then the door is pushed open, and the man who plagued your every thought is standing there.
“Running away again?” He asks, a cocky grin on his face.
Your eyes go wide and you look over his shoulder to make sure no one’s coming.
“You’re gonna get us caught!” You hiss, yanking him into the bathroom and shutting the door.
He only laughs, “yeah, but that’s why you like it so much. Every time we almost get caught, you cum harder,” he says matter-of-factly
“Okay, what if I was peeing? And you just walked in?”
He shrugs, “then I guess I’d just wait till you’re finished to do this.” He spins you around and pushes you toward the bathroom counter, hoisting one of your legs up to rest your knee on the granite.
Your eyes meet his in the mirror as his fingers find your sore centre, rubbing gently.
“B-Bucky we can’t…”
He raises a single brow at your half-hearted protests and slides a finger into your abused heat, chuckling softly when you clamp down on it.
“Yeah, nice try, Princess. This,” he pulls his finger out to slap your pussy, making a startled gasp fall from your lips, “belongs to me. It’s mine. And I’ll use it whenever and however I want, got it?”
You nod your understanding, watching in the mirror as he slowly unbuckles his pants and shoved them down his legs.
His boxers come next, the material stretching over his thick, tanned thighs, and then his cock springs free.
All nine and a half inches -“that half is important, sweetheart, trust me”- of thick, cut, sinful glory, and he’s been saving it for you.
He shoves your dress up until you’re holding it at your chest with one hand, the other braced on the mirror.
You can see his cock sliding through your folds, the weeping tip rubbing against your clit with each pass, and the sight alone is enough to have your mouth watering.
“Yeah, you like that? Hmm?” He asks, his voice low and teasing as he watches your face in the mirror.
Your mouth is slightly open, heavy breaths falling from those fuckable lips, and your eyes are half-closed, focused on where his cock is rubbing against you.
“Gonna let me fuck a baby into you, pretty girl? You gonna be a good girl for me? Let me make you a mommy?”
He feels your cunt flutter and watches the way your brows draw together, a grin on his face.
Bracing himself with one hand on your hip and the other in your hair, he pulls his hips back entirely only to push them forward, spearing into you in one quick thrust.
The breath is knocked from your lungs at the stretch of his fat cock in your heat, and a long moan falls from your mouth.
He slaps his hand across your lips, silencing you as much as he can, and you huff a breath through your nose at the force behind it.
“Sorry, babygirl, but you know you can’t be that loud with so many people around. It’s like you wanna get caught. Like you want someone to walk in while I’m balls deep in your tight snatch. Is that what you want, you filthy slut?”
You shake your head but tears spring to your eyes as he starts moving his hips, each pull and push dragging against your g-spot and making your nerves burst.
“Fuck, you feel so good, babygirl. Like your pussy was made for me. Fuck... tightest little cunt I’ve ever fucked.” His words are whispered in your ear as he pulls your head back to be closer to his, his eyes locked on yours in the mirror.
“Yeah, that’s right. You watch as I fuck your tight little hole. Look at how well you’re taking me, honey. Like a champ.”
You nod desperately, tears falling down your cheeks and dripping into his hand.
A light sheen of sweat covers your body as you meet his thrusts, and the contrast of the cool tile against your knee and the mirror on your hand only add to the sensations running laps through your body.
“Tears again? C’mon, crybaby, I thought you were a big girl.”
Your pussy flutters and you whine into his palm, eyes stuck on where he's fucking you.
There’s a sudden, sharp knock on the door that has your heart in your throat and your cunt squeezing the life out of Bucky’s cock.
“Fuck,” he hisses, his thrusts not slowing.
“Occupied!” He shouts, his voice masking a vicious smack to your ass that has pain prickling. He soothes the sting, rubs the area, and presses a kiss to the back of your head.
“Hurry up, Buck, you’ve been in there for so long,” Steve’s voice rumbles from behind the door.
Bucky drops his head back and holds back a curse when you clench around him again at the sound of Steve’s voice.
“Yeah, I’m almost done. Can’t finish with you standing there.”
Steve grumbles something under his breath, and then his footsteps trail away from the door.
“You want him to catch you? You want him to know what a desperate cumslut I make you? How you turn into a stupid drool baby the moment you see cock? Is that what you want, crybaby?”
You nod desperately, more tears flowing as the coil in your belly tightens.
“Yeah, I bet you want him to fuck you too, huh? You want his cock in your tight little ass while I fuck this pussy? Or maybe, you want him to fuck that cute face so he can see how pretty you look when you cry.”
Your eyes roll back in your head as your release slams into you like a freight train, sending you spiralling through a tunnel of bliss that has you seeing stars.
Your body goes slack against the counter, chest falling forward only to be caught by Bucky’s strong arms.
“I’m not finished with you yet, crybaby.” The nickname shouldn’t make you gush around him, but it does.
He fucks you through your orgasm, not giving you even a moment to rest as his hips slam into your ass, surely leaving bruises.
You groan softly, rivers rushing down your cheeks and finding a new home in the neckline of your sundress.
He smacks your ass then wraps his hand around your throat, cutting off your air and watching your face in the mirror.
Your mouth opens as you struggle to breathe, the tears never ceasing, and Bucky can’t stop himself from cumming.
His hips stutter to a stop as he paints your walls white, his potent cum coating your cervix and warming you from the inside.
His hand drops away from your throat and you suck in a heavy breath, hiccuping a sob as you lean against him.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispers, his eyes closed as he holds you tightly against his body.
As he comes down from his high, his eyes find yours in the mirror.
All pretty and puffy and bloodshot, watching him intently.
“You okay, pretty baby? I wasn’t too rough?” He asks softly, his hands moving to cradle you against his body.
You sniffle and nudge him back with your elbow, giving you enough room to scoot off the counter and turn around in his arms.
You nuzzle your nose against his chest and settle in his arms, your tears slowly ceasing.
“You okay, honey?” He asks again, nervous he was too rough with you.
You sniffle and nod, looking up at him when he tilts your chin up.
“Words, Angel. I need words.”
You sniffle and swallow hard, “I'm okay.”
He raises his eyebrows and you nod.
“I’m okay, I promise.”
He watches you for a moment longer before nodding and kissing your lips gently.
“I’m gonna go get you a glass of water, sweet girl. You stay here. I’ll clean you up in a minute.”
You nod and lean against the counter as he fixes his clothes and leaves, still trying to catch your breath and calm your heart down.
A few moments later, the door opens again.
“That was quick,” you whisper, your voice scratchy and hoarse.
“Try again, crybaby.”
Your eyes snap up as Steve steps into the bathroom, shutting the door behind himself.
Dread swells in your stomach and you shake your head as his eyes roam your figure.
“I-I...”
He brings his eyes back to yours and cocks his head to the side, giving you a grin.
“C’mon now, you guys weren’t exactly quiet. S’like you were begging me to hear you.”
New tears well up and rain down your face and you shake your head desperately.
“Please don’t tell anyone. Please.”
He shushes you softly and steps closer, one hand cupping your face.
“I won’t, honey. I swear. I just... wanna get in on the action.”
Your brows draw together, and then the door opens again.
Bucky pushes inside, freezing for a moment while taking in the scene before himself.
“Outta the way, punk,” he says easily, coming up beside you and lifting you to sit on the counter.
He brings the glass of water up to your mouth and you drink eagerly, your eyes flickering nervously between the two huge men in the bathroom.
“Was wondering when you’d finally get your head out of your ass,” Bucky says nonchalantly, his gaze never leaving your face.
You choke on the water, coughing and sputtering, and Bucky sets the glass down while Steve pats your back gently, wiping a few drops from your chin then popping his finger into his mouth.
“Didn’t wanna interrupt. You guys sounded pretty busy.”
The brunet smiles, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks again.
“You okay?”
You nod slowly, a million questions in your eyes.
“Steve’s not gonna do anything you don’t want him to, okay? You say stop and he stops. And he won’t breathe a word of this to dear old dad. Scout’s honour.”
You nibble on your bottom lip for a moment then look over at Steve.
“What... what exactly do you want to do?”
He smiles and steps closer to you, pulling you to the edge of the counter then dropping to his knees in front of you.
“Lift up that pretty dress and I’ll show you.”
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littlebumblebeesstuff · 2 months
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Request: heyy idk if you write for bucky barnes but if you do could you do a bucky x little reader who's never had someone who actually cared for her? like she never had a cg or her parents always neglected her so she keeps feeling like shes a burden to Bucky?
For @crazyforbarnes - I hope you enjoy!
Notes: GN!Reader, fluff, angst, mentions of trust issues and neglect
Not alone anymore
Work. Home. Eat. Sleep.
Work. Home. Eat. Sleep.
Work. Home. Eat. Sleep.
The repetitive routine was long and hard but you just kept pushing through. You had always had to work hard and you had no choice but to work in the little downtown cafe to pay rent and bills.
Of course Bucky had tried to encourage you to move in with him, but you were so ingrained into your own personal survival mode that you kept refusing.
The only escape you had was stepping into your little apartment, or into Bucky's floor in the Tower and letting yourself regress.
Unfortunately, there was a difference between regressing alone and with Bucky.
When alone you could be as little as 3, and you had the small spare room as your little space so that you wouldn't hurt yourself.
With Bucky, you never got younger than 6/7.
To say you had parental issues was an overstatement. Born the 7th child of a family that couldn't care for themselves you were often neglected and left to look after yourself.
So when Bucky stepped into his place as your dada, you couldn't stop yourself from still trying to be independent.
It was finally the weekend and you were staying with Bucky in the Tower. He was in the kitchen cooking as you finished up some paperwork.
You had been pushing away your regression for the whole week, under pressure to finish this project but now you were just overwhelmed, over tired, hungry, and frustrated.
All too big for your little brain to handle at the moment.
Bucky had a 6th sense about your regression. He knew that you were holding back but he always let you do what you wanted to do so that he could build that trust. He knew that you struggled to let anyone in and to let yourself be loved, but he hated seeing how hard you worked yourself because you believed that was the only way you would be worthy of attention and praise.
With a dish towel slung over his shoulder he walked up behind you where you were working at the dining table and gently starts to rub your shoulders, hoping to give you a little nudge towards regressing.
"Hiya pumpkin, dinner is almost ready. How about we get you into some comfies, huh?"
His voice was a soft rumble, tugging at that loose thread in your head in hopes that it would all unravel.
"Can't da-Bucky, gotta finish 'dis" Your own words were soft and slurred as you did feel yourself slipping.
The appeal of getting into comfy pjs and cuddling your dada while a movie played was slowly starting to take over the urge to finish the project.
"Hmmm.... Pumpkin, it's not your job to finish all this. You can go in on Monday and your team can help you. You need to rest too. You deserve it"
You shook your head, doubling down on your work. Your stubbornness drew a sigh from Bucky who gently took the pencil from you and pulled the chair away from the desk so you couldn't keep working.
He squatted down, cool metal hand cupping your cheek as he guides you to look at him.
"Baby, it's time to stop. No more working tonight, how about we-"
"But I have to finish dis!" You normally would never interrupt Bucky, but right now you were on the verge of regressing and also your exhaustion and frustration was starting to manifest itself as a temper tantrum.
Rather than getting frustrated, Bucky held your hands in his, attempting to calm you down a little bit.
"Pumpkin... can you tell me why you don't want me to look after you and help you regress? Am I doing something wrong?"
Bucky felt confused. He worked so hard to make you feel safe and comfortable when you regressed, but it was as if you didn't trust him.
"I- I, you not doing something wrong.." Your speech started to slip more and more, your own frustrations becoming too difficult to explain.
"I just never had a daddy or mummy.... always jus' me"
You couldn't bring yourself to look at Bucky as you spoke, instead deciding to look at your feet.
Bucky felt his heart break at your words. It wasn't that you didn't trust him- you simply didn't know how to let yourself be little and let someone look after you.
"Ok..... ok. Pumpkin, how about tonight we try something different, hmm? How about dada makes all the big decisions and you can just relax"
Bucky hoped that by getting you to agree to let him make decisions that you would let yourself properly regress without your survival instincts kicking in.
You take a moment to think about it.... it did sound nice to have dada making all the big decisions...
Finally you nod and Bucky breaks out into a big smile, kissing your forehead.
"That's dada's brave lil' pumpkin! Now, let's get you into some comfies"
Scooping you up into his arms, Bucky walks into his room, all the while pressing kisses over your cheeks, forehead, and nose.
By your little giggles, he was already very aware that you had regressed younger than you ever had before with him.
However, when you first brought up age regression he had done so much research and had bought a load of different things for different ages.
Wanting to give you the best experience as he could, he kept you on his hip as he dug around in his drawers for a duck print onesie that he had always wanted to use.
Once he had it, he sat you on the bed and helped you get changed.
"Aaand there goes one sock! And two socks! Now we gotta lift those little arms up to take your top off- that's it, you are doing so good Pumpkin!"
Soon you were in the fluffy duck print onesie, with fluffy socks in to protect your feet from the cold tiles of the floor.
Before leaving the room, he snuck a paci into his pocket.
Bucky took you through to the living room, setting you down on the massive sofa and making sure that you were propped up by pillows. He asked Jarvis to put on Bluey for you while he went and sorted dinner.
He could still see you from the open plan kitchen as he put the meal that he had originally prepared in the fridge and instead made you a plate of chicken nuggets, apple slices, cheese cubes, carrots and some goldfish crackers.
You were really engrossed in the cartoon that Bucky had to sit you on his lap and hand fed you your food.
He praised you for every bite and kissed your cheeks when you finished everything.
It felt so natural to be looking after you like this. You let yourself relax and you were so desperate for it that you couldn't even try to look after yourself.
Soon you were full and snuggled up on Buckys lap, staring to doze off as your day of big emotions caught up with you. Looking down to check up on you, Bucky smiled as he sees that you have put your thumb in your mouth as you self soothe.
"Oh baby, let's not put our fingers in our mouth- look, dada has a paci for you"
He gently pulls your thumb out of your mouth, aware that you are half asleep and eases the paci in to replace it.
Your eyes slip shut as you sook on the paci, your body finally giving in and letting you drift off to dreamland.
Bucky waits for a couple of minutes, to make sure he doesn't disturb you, before slowly standing up and carrying you to bed.
He asks Jarvis to turn everything off as he tucks you into bed before quickly changing into his own pyjama pants and laying in bed, tucking you into his chest.
Sometimes you will have bad days, ones where you feel like you have to look after yourself. But Bucky will always be there to help you.
296 notes · View notes
amsgrey · 2 months
Text
Jumped
Request: I would love to see something Like IT’s Career day at school and Jay and Will come to teach about their jobs along with others. And Halstead's sister gets bullied. During the break of moving in between careers someone comes and beats her up in like the bathroom and leaves her there and no one notices her being gone untill the end of the day. (I kinda want like Fire, Med, and Pd to find her)
sorry if it doesn’t make much sense you can choose how to end it and stuff
I also LOVE your fics I can’t wait to see more❤️
Authors Note; Y’all really love the angst huh, gotta deliver,, and hopefully you enjoy this little drabble. Also, part of me really wanted to title this, 'big sister hugs' because I think that Hailey would be the best big sister and also give the best big sister advice.
warnings: private girls school (yes that's a warning), bullying, getting jumped (i guess?), hospital and injuries,, Jay and Will not knowing girl bullying and being stubborn, a very poorly written plot
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High school was not always easy, but you were comfortable at your school with your friends. That was until there was a security issue and Jay’s information got leaked. Your apartment, school, Jay’s license plate, everything that could be used to track him ended up in the hands of the ‘bad guys’. Jay and Will had broken the news to you that they were pulling you from your current school, and moving to another school closer to Will’s. A private girls school, the ones with the fancy uniforms and stuck-up kids who thought the law didn’t apply to them because they had money. You hated it. You had begged Jay and Will to let you stay, but there was no changing their mind. 
The first week was hell, you knew no one. Starting in the middle of the year meant that everyone knew you were the new girl. You were enrolled under your mother's maiden name, for extra safety. It was weird not hearing your name followed by ‘Halstead’. After the first week was gone, you decided to stick it out until the problem with Jay blew over, by then, you could probably convince them to let you go back to your other school. Three weeks passed by and intelligence solved Jay’s leak. 
“So,” You began on Sunday family dinner, “Now that the whole leak in PD is over…” 
Jay and Will shared a look from across the table. 
You narrowed your eyes, “What?” 
Will ran a hand down his face, “Listen…” 
“You won't let me go back.” 
“It’s a better school-”
“Better?” You spat, “How is it better? I hate it there!”
“It’ll get better,” Jay said, “You just need more time to adjust.” 
“I don’t want to adjust-” 
“We’re not pulling you out,” Jay said, “I know you're struggling right now, but you’ll make some friends and-” 
“I can’t believe you.” You pulled away from the table, leaving your half-eaten dinner where it was and stomping off to your room. Jay stood to follow, ready to scold you for storming away and having such an attitude. 
“Jay,” Hailey grabbed his arm, “Let her cool down.” 
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Jay and Will didn’t budge on your school. You had gone from begging to bargaining with no success. Now you were giving them both the silent treatment. You knew it was immature and frankly ridiculous, but you were too mad to think clearly. Jay had already scolded you for not talking to him for the last week. You had ignored him. 
Hailey was the only one you spoke too, because it wasn’t her fault that Jay was being stubborn. Even so, you didn’t tell her everything when she stopped by your room. Namely, the career day that was coming up. You knew telling her meant she would tell Jay. And Jay and Will had a terrible habit of embarrassing you at school. At your last school's career day, Will and Jay had come and talked for hours about their funniest stories. You knew if they came this time, your peers wouldn’t be as amused. 
When career day did roll around, your dean stood in front of the school in the auditorium, introducing students and their parents. Your school was much smaller than your last one - something about smaller class sizes being better for learning - so the auditorium wasn’t fully packed. 
Not everyone brought their parents, but the popular kids with parents who had good jobs came. Like the group of girls who hated you, who all brought at least one parent. Your dean invited students to the stage by class and then had the student introduce their parents. Your class was last, the biggest number of parents who had come. You were sat at the end of your class, mostly because you didn't have anyone to bring. Not that it bothered you.
“Next up, we have Olivia and her mom, Jen.” 
Jen was a dentist, she spent 10 minutes explaining how her job worked and then opened for questions. There weren’t many, mostly a few questions from seniors about collages and other stuff. 
Then it was Sophie, with her dad the Banker. 
By the time the girls who hated you were called up, you were ready to fall asleep. No one here had an interesting job, most of the jobs were boring well playing jobs that you could never see yourself doing. 
The main girl who didn’t like you was Madison. She wasn’t fond of how the teachers asked you for answers in class, not that you could do anything about that. Her friend group was made up of 5 or 6 girls who were seemingly lovely. All smiles and compliments around teachers but spread vicious rumors and lies when adults couldn’t hear. You had heard them speaking about you a few times, not that you cared. It wasn’t great to be the new girl with all the rumors, but you had banked on leaving the school before for long. Which, you knew now, wasn’t an option. So now you were stuck with the girls who all hated you for rumors or lies that you didn’t even know. 
Madison brought her mum and dad with her, real estate agents who worked together selling multi-billion dollar houses. The whole time she had a smug look on her face. When she sat back down in her row, she turned in her seat, looking back at you. 
“Didn’t bring anyone?” She asked. 
You didn’t bother replying. 
“Is it because your parents are coke addicts?” Her friend beside her pressed. 
How that rumor even started you didn’t know, it was so absurd.
“Or is it because they’re dead?” Madison pressed.
You gave her a bored look, “I’ll take my family over your fraud family any day.” 
Madison opened her mouth to bark something back, but was shushed by your teacher. She turned back to face the front, arms crossed over her chest. No doubt stewing in your words. 
“We now have some guests to speak to you,” The Dean said through the microphone, “We reached out to some of our first responders and invited them to come speak to you too. Everyone please welcome Dr Asher and Dr Halstead from Gaffney Chicago Med.”
Will and Hannah walked to the stage, both in their Med scrubs with doctors coats on. Will was looking for you, you could tell from the way his eyes scanned the faces in the audience. You slumped in your chair, avoiding looking at him at all. 
How did he find out? Did he and Jay find out somehow? Did your school contact them? 
You really wanted to disappear now, your face was no doubt bright red by how much it was burning. You prayed silently that Will hadn’t told Jay, but you knew it was a useless prayer. If Will was here Jay would be too. 
You got your answer when the dean explained that there were more guests outside on the fields. She ordered everyone to head that way, ushering students with promises of something ‘exciting’. 
Outside, firehouse 51 had parked their rigs on the grass. 51 had their ladder extended, Mouch standing at the controls grinning like a champion. Not far from Mouch was Trudy, flanked by two patrol cars and their officers. Looking across the gathered first responders it didn’t take long to spot Jay and Intelligence. Their own cars were parked on the grass, the lights on. Everyone but Voight had their vests on, adding to the dramatic atmosphere already created. 
Students huddled around, entranced by the cars and rigs which you had seen plenty of times. You tried to hide towards the back, but Kelly had spotted you and tried to usher you closer. You shrugged back at him, trying to make it look like you were stuck within the crowd. 
“Firstly, we would like to thank Sergeant Trudy Platt and Sergeant Hank Voight, as well as Chief Wallace Boden for coming today. We are hugely appreciative to hear from you,” The dean spoke into a microphone, “Secondly, I want to ask students to be respectful, as these hard working men and women have taken time out of their busy days to come and speak to us. So we are going to listen and show respect. There will be time for questions and demonstrations at the end. Please Welcome Sergeant Trudy Platt.” 
The crowd clapped as Trudy took the mic, but it wasn’t too enthusiastic. Trudy gave a similar speech to last year. Along the lines of what made district 21 special, intelligence and the hardworking patrol officers. She talked about fake calls and how breaking the law would wind you up in her cells etc. It was funny, a few quips earning laughs from teachers and parents. But you had heard it all before. You were dreading what the others would say. You didn’t want everyone knowing your brother was a cop, that would cause way too many issues. 
So instead, you slipped away from the crowd, heading back towards the school building to hide in the bathroom. 
You didn’t think anyone would notice, most people were paying attention to the speakers or interested in the rigs. You were wrong, of course, being followed almost immediately by Madison and a couple of her friends. 
You got to the lockers before they announced themselves. 
“What did you mean my parents were frauds, bitch?” 
You turned around in fright, not even hearing them sneak up on you.
“I didn’t mean it,” You replied, “I’m sorry.” 
You were, kind of. Mostly you were sorry that you had said it, because she genuinely seemed shocked. But this was Chicago, anyone with any money committed fraud, it was kind of the standard. 
“I don’t care if you're sorry,” Madison snarled, she was taller than you so when she stepped closer you couldn’t help feeling intimidated. “What did you mean?” 
“Madison-” 
One of her friends pushed you hard against the lockers with a forearm over your collar, “Answer the question.” 
You were by no means a confrontational person. Growing up, Jay always tried to teach you to talk out your issues, violence or fighting wasn’t a good solution. Will was the same, although both of them weren’t always the best at doing as they counseled. 
“I just meant that,” You were panicking under the glare of all three girls, “You know, this is chicago and-”
“And what? Everyone is a criminal like your addict parents?” Madison got in your face again. 
“My parents weren’t addicts,” You scoffed, now annoyed that she wouldn’t let that go. 
“No?” The girl who was holding you back moved her arm further up your neck, pressing against your throat, “Then where are they?” 
“If my parents were addicts, would you really think I'd be in a private school?” You pressed, “Use your brain for once, please.” 
You should have known that would piss Madison off. She let out an annoyed scoff then pulled back her fist and punched your square in the nose. The force slammed your head back into the lockers, the sound echoing through the empty halls. The punch wasn’t hard enough to break your nose, but you would feel the blood start to drip down your lip. Madison shook her hand like she had taken more damage than you had. 
“Want to say that again?” The third girl finally spoke up. 
It was like they were all gaining confidence in the security of the three of them. When one of them said something the others would laugh and smirk. 
“I don’t like bullies, you know,” Madison said. 
God, the irony. 
This time the punch came from the third girl, landing in your stomach. You didn't know her name, but she was on the volleyball team, so her punch was much stronger. Your body doubled over, arms crossing over your stomach as your lungs tried to fight your diaphragm for air. The arm holding you up was dropped, and your body fell to the ground as you tried to force yourself to take some deep breaths. 
“This is what you deserve,” A girl said, before another blow landed on your ribs. The wind was knocked out of you again, causing you to cough and choke. 
Madison crouched down to your level, “Bullies like you deserve to be put in their place.” 
You didn’t have time to appreciate the irony this time, because she was kicking your head, hard. 
Your body reacted on instinct, curling into itself to try to protect you from another blow that was sure to come. 
“Hey!” 
The three girls sprinted at the voice, running away from their actions. 
“Hey, kid,” A hand on your shoulder made you flinch, when your vision cleared you realized it was just Kelly. He held his hands out to show you he meant no harm, then gently helped you sit up. 
“You’re alright,” He said softly, steading you sitting against the lockers. You couldn’t even reply, focused solely on breathing through the pain in your head and side. 
“I found her,” Kelly said into his radio, “North Hallway, bring a jump bag.” 
Kelly gently touched the side of your face, tilting your head to look at the side you had been kicked. 
“You still got that med kit in your bag?” He asked, knowing Kidd had taught you that in girls on fire. 
“Yeah,” You said softly, your voice above a whisper. 
Kelly ripped open your bag, rummaging through it until he found the small first aid kit. He was only after gauze, once he secured it, he ripped the package open and pressed the gauze to your head. 
You winced, instinctively pulling away from him. 
“I know,” He said, sitting down next to you so he could hold the gauze in place, “Sorry kid. 
You both looked up as the sound of footsteps came running towards you. You might as well have been on fire, the entire house was rushing towards you. Jay and Intelligence were there too, Will and Asher running along beside everyone. 
“This is overkill,” You said to no one in particular. 
Kelly chuckled, shuffling so that Will could take his place next to you, “We’re all here for you, kid.” 
Will replaced Kelly’s hand with his own, when Kelly pulled away you could see blood on his hand. 
Jay croached on your other side, letting Will, Hannah and Brett take care of you. 
“What happened?” He asked, looking over your bloody nose, head injury and the way you were holding your side. 
You didn’t want to be known as a snitch, one glance behind your brother and you could see students being held back by teachers and 51. The school day was almost over, everyone would be gathering their things to leave. You hoped you weren’t in front of someone's locker who hated you, this would definitely make them hate you more. 
You looked back at Jay, his eyes filled with worry, “What happened, squirt?” 
“I, uh.. I fell.”
Will scoffed, “You fell?” 
“Yeah, I’m clumsy,” You said.
“You fell and hit your nose and the side of your head?” Hannah asked, voice soft, “Are you sure that's the story you want to tell?” 
Over her shoulder, Kelly was talking to Voight and Hailey. Hailey was pointing something out, a camera that was positioned above one of the classroom doors. 
“Yeah,” You didn’t sound confident at all. But right now, you wanted to be anywhere but here.
Jay looked pissed, but he didn’t say anything. He got to his feet and stood out of the way as Hannah and Will helped you stand. They lead you over to the stair chair, despite your very vocal argument that you were fine. 
Being wheeled through the crowd of students and their parents was the most embarrassing thing you had ever experienced. You passed by Madison at one point, who was leaning against her locker talking to her parents like nothing ever happened. You avoided looking her way, instead focusing on what Brett was saying about getting to the rig. 
Outside the building things were less stressful and crowded. You managed to convince the four hovering adults that you could stand on your own to get into the back of the ambulance, even if you didn’t really think you needed one. 
“I’m really fine,” You argued for probably the fifth time, “I think you're overreacting.” 
Will sighed, running a hand down his face, “You are too stubborn for your own good,” He muttered. 
Violet chuckled, “Just lay back, alright? You aren’t getting out of this, no matter how much you complain.” 
She was right, but that didn’t stop you from pouting the whole way to Med. 
At Med, Will hovered as Hannah stapled the laceration on your head. You weren’t too happy about the idea of being stabled back together, but Will had taken a photo of the laceration to prove you needed it. 
“That’s so gross,” You said, pushing the phone away from you. 
“That’s why you need staples,” Will explained, rolling his eyes.
Not long after Hannah had treated you and left you to rest, Jay, Hailey and Voight walked in. 
“Are you doing alright?” Jay asked, hesitant to start another argument. 
“I’m fine,” You repeated, “I don’t know why everyones making such a big deal.” 
“You were attacked at-” 
“I fell.” You interrupted. 
“Y/N-” 
“Jay.” You echoed in the same tone.
Jay's face flashed with irritation, he looked to Will for help. 
“We know that’s not true,” Will said, giving you his best parental disappointed look. 
“The whole thing was caught by the security cameras,” Hailey spoke softly, she was the only person in the room who knew what it was like to be a teenage girl in high school, “We just want to know what they said.” 
You tried to come up with some kind of explanation that wouldn’t get anyone in trouble, but you came up short. 
“It’s not that big of a deal,” You shrugged, avoiding eye contact with all of them. 
Will leaned forward, he looked wary, “Listen, squirt, we want to help, but we can’t unless you tell us the truth.” 
“That is the truth,” You argued back, crossing your arms definitely, “It’s not a big deal.” 
“You’re in the hospital!” Jay gestured around, “What about this is ‘not a big deal’.” 
You scowled, refusing to say anything else and just sitting silently. 
Voight squeezed Jay's shoulder, “We’ll let her rest, come back later?” 
Jay nodded, not bidding you goodbye as he stomped out of the room. You hadn’t seen him this mad in forever, you weren’t sure if this would blow over as easily as your other fights. Voight followed after Jay, he told you to get some rest then followed his detective to try to calm him down. 
Will got up to leave too, he told you to rest and said he would come back soon. When the three left, it was only Hailey who stayed behind. 
“I know you’ve been struggling at school,” She took a seat on the bed next to you, “I know what that’s like.” 
You fiddled with your fingers, not wanting to admit she was right. 
“You know what happened today wasn’t right,” Hailey continued, “Jay wants to press charges.” 
“What? No! That’ll just make it wor…” You stopped yourself.
“Make what worse?” Hailey pressed. 
You took a deep breath, trying not to get upset. 
“Whatever is going on, I can help,” Hailey promised. 
“You can’t get me out of that school,” You scowled. 
“I think after today, that might be possible.” 
You leaned back into the pillows. Dr Asher had given you some pain meds for your head, they removed the sharp pain and replaced it with a dull throb. You could feel it more as you got more upset. 
“There’s this stupid rumor that my parents are addicts,” you explained, “Madison is always taunting me with it, saying that's why no one ever comes to parent evenings or teacher interviews…” 
Hailey didn’t say anything, she just sat listening patiently. 
“Before you guys came, she asked why my parents weren’t here and I said that I would rather have my family over her fraud one.” 
Hailey nodded as she listened. 
“It was stupid and as soon as I said it, I regretted it. When we were outside I went inside to go to the bathroom and Madison and her friends followed me… They, uh… Madison wanted to know why I said it and I apologized but she didn’t- she, she didn’t care and…” 
Hailey got the cue, “Okay. It’s alright.” She pulled you into a gentle hug. “Everything’s going to be alright.”
340 notes · View notes
devildomditzy · 1 year
Text
Pacts - Mammon x MC
part two of ?
haven’t read part one? start here!
done? finish the story here!
Tags: angst w/ eventual comfort, very small mention of blood/endangerment
author’s note + tag list at the end ❤️
——————————————————————————
“And so you see, that’s why it is vitally important that when practicing seductive speechcraft, you annunciate your words very clearly, and -
blah
blah
blah-”
Mammon stopped listening to this lecture awhile ago. In fact, he wasn’t even listening to begin with, how could he? His mind was too focused on you - mainly the fact that no matter how hard he looked around the House of Lamentation, he couldn’t find you, no hide nor hair. After you ran off, he walked towards the house, decidely not running after you. Setting off at a slow pace, he figured he’d give you some distance, some time to cool off. Upon his arrival, he knew he’d be the last demon in this place you’d want to speak to, but nevertheless, you’re his responsibility.
“Oi! Mc! Open up! C‘mon we can’t be late, Lucifer will light both our asses up,” he chides, knocking at your door three times. He waits a bit, only to be met with silence. “MC, I know yer in there, c’mon!”, he raises his voice, annoyance rising with each word. Still, nothing. He sighs, swallowing his pride. He knows what he has to do-
“Listen, if this is ‘bout what I said earlier I…I didn’t mean..i mean..its just…h-how childish can ya be, huh? Not answerin’s gunna get us both in trouble! Now come out!”
-but try as he might, he can’t do it. Why apologize? To the human of all people? The one who had the audacity to do something that caused his pact mark to show up there. Musta done it to make me look stupid to the others, he thinks to himself. Their idea of a joke.
Tired of talking to himself, he reaches a hand towards the doorknob and twists, surprised to find it unlocked. The second born walks into the center of the room, shoving his hands in his pockets. “If yer hidin’, ya can come out now. I’m gettin’ real tired of this game!”
After a minute of no response, Mammon thinks he may really be alone in the house’s guest room. He bends down to peer under your bed, finding it just as empty as the rest of your room. He tried the wardrobe with similar results.
He peeks into your closet, only to find various outfits you had picked up when Lucifer made him take you to Majolish in your first days here. He spots a jacket hanging in the corner.
That stupid jacket. The one you looked great in but weren’t convinced yourself. The one you timidly asked for his opinion on. The one that brought out the color in your eyes and made you smile to yourself in the mirror and kind of matched his own. The one he told you looked as bland as the rest of the stuff in your arms and that you were taking up to much of his time with just by asking a question. He remembers the hurt on your face, it was the same face you made to him this morning. He stares at it a beat too long before making to leave the room. He begins to feel an unpleasant anxiety in his stomach, and he can only assume it’s thanks to your disappearance. ‘M used to them bein’ around is all. Gotta find em before Lucifer freaks.
Now if you had a human from another realm wearing a royal demon academy uniform possibly harboring negative feelings towards their great, all powerful and totally breathtaking bodyguard, where would you put them? Mammon continues to repeat this question in his mind as he searches through the HOL’s most trafficked hangouts. Unfortunately for him, there was no sight of you in the kitchen, the foyer, the library, the common area, any of the bathrooms, the conservatory, or anywhere for that matter.
Annoyed, he takes out his D.D.D. and clicks on your most recent text thread with him.
Mammon: This is stupid! Where ya at!
Mammon: You said you were commin’ back to HOL, so why ain’t ya here?
Hearing the unmistakable ding of your D.D.D notification sound, he whips around to see where the sound came from, before realizing the source of the noise sat abandoned in the backpack around his shoulders. Tch.
Wish this dumb pact worked both ways, he thought to himself as he ran a hand through his hair. Why’d they have to be so difficult…
Why’d I have to go n’ open my stupid mouth.
With no way to contact you and no idea where you could be, Mammon storms off back to R.A.D. If Lucifer was gonna kill him for losing his new brat, he wasn’t gonna give him another reason to revive and kill him again by not showing up to school.
Which brings him to now, nervously shaking his leg while hiding his phone under the table, just in case one of his brothers texts him about you, or says anything about you. It begins to hit him, as he hears his professor drone on, that you’re human. A stupidly soft, extremely fragile, totally marked as food by demons other than the council, human.
What if while you were running back towards HOL, you got lost? What if while you were running back towards HOL, someone took you? What if while you were running away from him because everything he wants to say comes out wrong, someone hurt you.
He can’t take it anymore. He abruptly stands, practically running out of the classroom. “Young man, where do you think you’re going?”, the professor calls out to him, but Mammon chooses to ignore them, slamming the classroom door behind him. He needs to find you, and fast. He needs to know that you’re okay. He needs to protect you, because Lucifer told him to. He needs to protect you, because he wants to protect you.
Pacing in the hallway, he knows what he has to do, but doesn’t know if he has the strength to do it. “Dammit!”, he mutters as he clicks on the chat on his phone that contains all his siblings minus Lucifer.
Mammon: Have any of ya seen the human?
Levi: Us? Weren’t you supposed to be watching them?
Asmo: Oh dear! Don’t tell me you ran them off already!
Satan: How did you manage to lose a whole creature, let alone one that can talk and communicate exactly alike us?
Levi: Lol
Beel: I haven’t seen them. I’ll let you know if I do.
Mammon: Thanks, Beel. At least one of ya are helpful.
Asmo: That’s sad! I was soooo hoping I’d get a turn to play with them <3
Mammon: Can it, Asmodeus!
Satan: Pulling out the full names? You must really be upset.
Levi: Can’t you just text them?
Mammon: I can’t. They...forgot their phone in their room like some idiot.
Satan: My my, stealing from the exchange student already, are we?
Mammon: I didn’t steal nothin’ from ‘em. They just don’t have their phone on them, okay!?
Levi: Have you checked purgatory hall?
Purgatory hall…
Purgatory hall!
How could he be so stupid! Of course! Where else would a human run to when demons have hurt them? To the angels!
He moves faster than he has in a long time, not since the fall, until he finds himself in front of the door to the angel’s and shady sorcerer’s shared dorm room.
A raises a fist to knock but before he can, the door creeks open to reveal a smiling Simeon. Damn angel intuition. Though he beams brightly, the smile does not reach his eyes. He looks a bit sad, and maybe even…disappointed? “Mammon. We’ve been expecting you.”, Simeon courteously bows his head.
“Yea yea hey to you too ‘n all that. Listen, is the human here?”, Mammon questions while nervously drumming his fingers against his thigh. Simeon’s expression softens at the mention of you. “Why yes, they are, but they have been in brighter moods before. Would you care to come in and speak with them?”
Mammon peers around Simeon’s form in the door frame to see you sitting on one of the common room’s couches next to Luke. The chihuahua pours you some more tea from a pot on the table as you wipe at your eyes. The puffy redness under them tells him all he needs to know. He’d made you cry.
In that moment, his mind screams at him. He was awful. He was a scumbag. He was every horrible thing his brothers and those money hungry witches called him combined and-
“Mammon?”, your small voice rings out. Simeon steps aside and gestures for him to enter the room. It takes his mind a minute to catch up to his movements, but after a brief stutter he enters, walking towards your hunched over frame.
Simeon is quick to follow him, calling out to Luke, “Why don’t we go see Barbatos? If he’s not busy, we can see about learning that new recipe you’ve been looking forward to?”
“Yeah!”, Luke excitedly cheers, face falling when he turns back to you, “But-but MC is so sad! We can’t just leave them like this! I swear when I find out who made them cry, I’m gonna give them the what for!”
You give a small chuckle at the little angel’s antics. It’s the same smile that makes Mammon’s stomach fill with butterflies. Gah!- He hates that feeling. He doesn’t know what to do about it. How to make it go away.
“I’m fine Luke, I swear. I just had a rough morning is all. Go with Simeon, I’ve got to get back to class anyway.”
Luke looks to you, then to Mammon, before landing on Simeon. “What’s he doing here?”
“Could ask ya the same thing, Chihuahua!”, Mammon laughs before ruffling Luke’s hat into his hair, much at the angel’s dismay.
“I am NOT a CHIHUAHUA!”, he yells, increasingly becoming more red in the face. Simeon brings a hand to his mouth to hold back a laugh.
“Come along Luke, let’s give them some space. Solomon’s out, so please lock the door behind you when you leave,” Simeon gracefully states while taking Luke’s hand, guiding him out of the room. Before he leaves, he turns and winks at Mammon in a not so secretively way, as you catch it too. The action makes Mammon growl, but pulls another giggle out of you. The sound makes the butterflies stronger.
Mammon awkwardly stands in front of you, almost willing you to speak, like he was the one owed an apology. He shuffles his weight side to side, from one foot to the other before cramming his hands into his pockets. You shyly look away from him, but still reach a hand out to pat the cushion next to you, motioning for him to sit down. Stupid human, still nice to me when ya supposed to be mad. Despite his thoughts, he takes your offer, tense as he carefully sits next to you like a statue.
You both sit in silence for awhile, basking in each other’s presences. He wants to say something, anything to break the suffocating atmosphere you’ve both created here, but he can’t find the words. How can he when every time he looks at you his mind goes blank and his heart yearns to spill.
“Listen, I-” “You know-”
“You go first, Mammon”, you yield, allowing the second born to continue.
“Runnin’ off like that in the middle of the Devildom is dangerous! It’s crazy for a lower level demon, let alone some ballsy human. What would I woulda done if all I found of ya was a pile of bones? A trail of yer blood? Huh?” I thought I lost you.
“I-I can handle myself just fin-”
“Clearly. Is that why you went and made a pact with a demon? One of hell’s lords? Cause ya can handle everything by yerself? Cause ya so big and strong by yerself?” I’m supposed to protect you.
“T-that’s not fair, Levi coerced me-”
“And then ya ran to the angels when you were upset? Whadda they have that we don’t? What can they do that we can’t?” What can they do for you that I can’t.
“You said our pact mark was a blemish-”
“It is! Who the hell would want the symbol of some good for nuthin’, money grubbin’ scumbag like me on their heart! It should be Lucifer’s, o-or Beel’s, or…someone else. Anyone else.” I’m not worthy of you.
“Mammon,” your voice shakes, but remains sickly sweet. You place a hand over top his. His face shoots up to meet your gaze. The butterflies are swarming like crazy.
“If you hate our pact that much, if you hate where the sigil formed that much, let’s ask Lord Diavolo how to break it-”
“NO!”, Mammon shoots up to his feet, running a hand through his hair to calm his nerves. He can hear a similar waver in his own voice. “No, no that’s not what I meant. Tch! Why doesn’t it ever come out right! I swear when it comes ta you i just-”, Mammon sighs, trying to calm himself down. His face is beet red, he just knows it and father, do you have to look at him like that? With a face full of kindness and concern and love for him, the expression that you only give him and none of his brothers and none of the angels and none of the royals and no one else but him.
“MC, do ya know what it means when a pact mark forms there?”
——————————————————————————
Author’s Note: Gaaaah!!! Thank you all so much for your response on this series! It’s been kinda insane! I’m really thankful for all your notes and I’ve read every tag that was left for me. You’re all so sweet! This should have at the very least one more part, so please let me know if you want to be a part of the tag list for part 3! 
Taglist: @someoneunkownforyou @fandomhell97 @crocrafts @dragonageoregons @furblrwurblr @youaskedfurret @simpinginthecorner @astarotha @glitterandgoldfinds @liminalimmortal @bestblob @crow-charlie @hauntedcatnerd @aprilwallflower @ungodlywoes
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riverbutghost · 7 months
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Can you write a one shot where Y/n is self harming and how Simon is reacting to that?
This is my first request!!!!!!!
Also, I’m so so so sorry for this, this isn’t how i expected it to turn out, also I have a severe migraine right now and can’t look at screen too much. I wrote it super fast. Apologies, and promise that i’ll write more soon.
Go ahead and request with an angst prompt !!
Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x GN!Reader
Summary: You used to self harm, but after attending military you stopped. Certain someone made you break, though.
Warnings: Graves is an asshole, no touching but cat calling?, Self harm, depression topics, kind of ooc simon, mentions of suicide…
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Even though you were feeling down lately, your friends were always there for you. You knew it.
Your mental health wasn’t always perfect, and you knew it would take a while to heal. But even after healing, you knew it would always come back.
“It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m glad you chose me to vent about it.”
It was always easy to vent to Soap, he would always make you chuckle or smile.
“It’s cool y’know? I know why you’re feeling this way. But it will always get better.”
Gaz would pat your hair, cuddle you a little like a brother and give you a chocolate. He would make you smile.
Simon wasn’t there usually. And no, you wouldn’t seek comfort from him either way. You knew the man wasn’t a people person, and he wouldn’t do anything other than getting annoyed.
So after your mission went smoothly, everyone wanted to celebrate and drink. Not you for sure.
You weren’t feeling good and stable so you politely declined. This, of course drew your friends’ attention. You just told them you were tired, because you didn’t want them to miss out on their time. They finally accepted and left the base to have fun.
You, on the other hand wasn’t feeling too well. It was overwhelming, to feel that way after a success.
“Congratulations, soldier. But you missed your shot. It was a stupid thing to do, the target wasn’t even moving ahahah.”
You furrowed your eyebrows after remembering your commander’s words. Graves, he was something. He would constantly pick on you, even though he had told you he liked you. You couldn’t understand him, was he that kind of person who would bully their crushes? Yeah, no.
You shook your head, clearing your mind of those thoughts. You needed a bath, and the base was empty. You smiled to yourself weakly. This was going to be a long shower.
You closed your door, but didn’t lock it. You didn’t care because the base was empty. You stripped off your clothes and got in.
-
“Is she okay?”
Simon furrowed his eyebrows.
“Who?”
Soap rolled his eyes and cursed through the phone. He told him your name, and Simon cursed himself too.
“Didn’t know she was here,”
Simon swore that he heard Soap rolling his eyes.
“Whatever, I gotta go. Don’t get wasted, yeah?”
Simon didn’t wait for an answer before shutting the phone down. He got up and went to his bathroom, ready to take a shower. He locked the door before pulling his mask off.
He got in, warm water immediately softening his tense shoulders. He sighed and closed his eyes.
-
You had decided to grab something from the kitchen before combing your hair. So here you were, eating an apple while going to your room.
“Ooof, here you are.”
You stopped dead in your tracks after someone grabbed your shoulders from behind.
“Our talk was interrupted,”
You swallowed and smiled at him, even though his eyes were raking up and down your body. You shifted uncomfortably.
“Oh, uhm- yeah. I don’t see you like that-“
His hands moved to your waist and you gasped quietly.
“C’mon, we both know what you want. Don’t resist it.”
You pushed him hard enough to let him off and he just snorted.
“I told you. I don’t want you, Graves.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Is that why you wear these shorts huh? Why your hair is wet and free? Don’t play dumb, you want it. Don’t worry, even if you’re bad in bed it would worth it and I won’t tell anyone.”
He winked and that was the final straw. You kicked him in his crotch, and pushed him with all your force. He groaned and gritted his teeth.
“Fuckin’ bitch. You’re gonna regret that!”
You just walked hurriedly to your room and locked the door behind you.
You didn’t know when, but you had started crying. You sat down in front of your door and cried silently.
When you realized you had dropped your apple there, you started crying harder.
“Fuck,”
You sniffled and gripped your phone. But you couldn’t, they were having fun and you wouldn’t dare to ruin it.
You closed your eyes, tried doing the breathing techniques your therapist had taught you.
“I can’t believe you’re our teammate now, you should be a model.”
“I can keep you company, you know?”
“But you’re asking for it.”
“You don’t have a boyfriend? Such a shame, you have a good physique.”
“Believe me sweetheart, no one would talk to you if you weren’t that beautiful.”
“That pretty face is missing something, a smile?”
“Oh my God, be a lady and bow down to me will you? ahahah..”
“Fuck!”
You quickly got up, the voices in your head were ringing and ringing. Graves’ voice was ringing. It kept getting louder.
You opened your drawer and took out your knife, and held it in your hand for a second.
The voices are going to stop, you thought. It will get better if I do this, you convinced yourself.
You cut your wrist, hands shaky from the panic attack. Your breaths were unstable, shallow.
You cut your wrist again, the voices were now getting weaker.
“What the fuck is going on?!”
You jumped forward with the knife in your hand. Simon gasped for a second before holding you and looking at you.
“What happened?!”
Simon shook your shoulders, not knowing what to do. You were just as shocked as him, and didn’t move a muscle.
Simon’s eyes went up to your hair and down to your feet. His breath shook as he noticed the blood dropping from your cuts.
“What the- What did you do?!”
Simon quickly took the knife and threw it across the room, then he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom.
He put you down to the floor of the shower cabin and washed your face.
“Wait here, ‘kay? I’ll be back.”
He quickly went back to his room, grabbed the first aid kit and came rushing back.
He carefully took your wrist, inspected it and worked on it quietly.
You were still in shock, eyes looking empty at the ground. It was all so quick, and your mind wasn’t comprehending it.
Simon called your real name and you suddenly looked up. It was like a switch. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at your wrist.
“Oh my God- I fuck!”
“Shh-“
You silently cried as he bandaged your wrist, thankfully you didn’t cut that deep.
After a minute or so, he got up and picked you up. He went towards your bed, and put you down. He sat down as well.
“Why? I don’t understand anything.”
You swallowed and looked down.
“I was suicidal before. And it just, I don’t know. I got triggered I guess.” You mumbled and shrugged.
Simon just narrowed his eyes. How could you be so calm about it?
“But what happened? What triggered it?”
You sighed as you let yourself down on your mattress.
“Don’twannatalkaboutit.”
Simon raised an eyebrow.
“What? Speak up soldier. C’mon now, you know you can talk to me.”
“Graves…”
Simon shot up.
“What did that fucker do?!”
You just sighed and curled up more.
“Nothing,I-“
Simon quickly got out of your room, leaving you speechless and scared. You were scared to be alone, and scared that Graves would say some shit and Ghost would believe them.
You just closed your eyes and sighed again, suddenly fee exhausted and tired.
It was so quick, so fast like it was a dream.
“What the fuck just happened..” You mumbled to yourself.
Soon enough, Simon came back. He knocked on your door and you mumbled for him to come in.
“Took care of it.”
Your heart broke a little after that. Not in a bad way, you might add.
“Thank you. I’m just exhausted, I guess. Never really thought I would ever do that again.”
Simon held your hand as you looked up at him. His eyes took you in and left you breathless in an instant. He attempted to say something, but didn’t. You smiled at him softly, laying down on the bed.
“I’m gonna go, yeah..”
He scratched the back of his neck, and contemplated for a moment to say anything else.
But he got up, leaving your room after looking you one last time.
It was probably for another day. You would talk with him another day.
319 notes · View notes
atinylittlepain · 8 months
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I'm On Fire
no outbreak!joel miller x fem!reader
Hungry Hearts masterlist
warnings | 18+ cursing, smut right out of the starting blocks, young joel is a goddamn menace, a little angst as well
wordcount | 8.5K
a/n | thank you all for reading this series, i really loved writing this part and i hope y'all enjoy - as always, drop me a line and tell me what you think. oh also, obviously you should listen to I'm On Fire while reading this. But, if I could offer a non-Bruce song (blasphemy, I know) for your listening-while-reading pleasure, it would be Fruits of My Labor by Lucinda Williams, it is so goddamn Cherry-coded. Okay, that's all, thank you for reading.
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(gif by @santigarcia)
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“Hmm.”
“Cher.” His lips against the bare wing of her shoulder blade, his fingers curling around the sheet to pull it down over her ass, his palm stopping on the curve before slipping up and along the slope of her spine, all the way to the nape of her neck. 
“Hmm?” His lips right at the shell of her ear, the whole heat of him draped over her prone body. She can already feel his cock smearing pearled pleasure against her low back.
“We gotta get up.” A kiss to the side of her neck, just under her jaw. She still doesn’t move, keeping her nose buried in his pillow and breathing so deeply it’s just him in her lungs. Sweat and salt and him. 
“No we don’t.” His nose skates down the center of her spine, the loss of his presence making her shiver under the weak breeze of the box fan in his window, still morning, still cool before the heat starts to creep in. 
“It’s Sunday.” He coaxes her legs apart, completely limp in his hands, so he can settle between them, his palms finding her hips and hitching them up in the air ever so slightly.
“Amen.” His laugh washes over her, still wet, still tender from last night, now spread open for him.
“We gotta get to church.” A kiss to where her thigh meets the crease of her ass, one on each side before his palms spread her open even more, her whole body clenching in anticipation.
“I’m not going.” She tries to keep her voice steady when he noses through her swollen cunt, lips finding her clit in a soft suckle, but her words come out a bit breathless anyways, her face still pressed into his pillow.
“No? Not going?” He speaks with his mouth still so close that she can feel the low thrum of it in her pelvis, resisting the urge to buck her hips back to seek out more of that burn.
“Nope.” He does it again, letting his jaw go slack and putting the open heat of his mouth flat over her cunt, tongue dragging heavy and straight through her. She wonders if he can taste himself, still slipping out of her, still a bit sore, so she blindly reaches back, finding the crown of his head and tugging. A low mumble, need it gentle, need it slow, because we weren’t either of those things last night. 
“We have to go, Cherry. People will talk.” His palm wide over her ass, he uses his thumb to keep her spread for him, dipping his tongue into her clenching hole, kissing it better. Always aching, always dripping, always so blisteringly ready for him. She starts to hum into his pillow. 
“Don’t care.” She cries out when he slips two fingers inside her, too much, tears with how too much it is, though she still rocks back against his hand when he slowly pumps deeper. 
“Tough girl doesn’t care, huh?” She’s starting to sweat, spit pooling under her tongue, open mouthed and dripping onto his pillow in a silent whine when he crooks his fingers against that spot, that spot he likes to tease and toy with so much, that spot that would’ve had her leg kicking out behind her if his other hand didn’t have a firm grip around her thigh to keep her on her knees, her hips up high and quivering. 
“None of them matter.” He works her until she’s starting to twitch with it, broken little sounds in the back of her throat that turn into a dejected sigh when he pulls away, leaving his hand on the small of her back, the slick coating his fingers cooling and sticking against her skin. 
“That right?” Not gone for long, she preens when she feels the thick heat of his cock slip through her aching cunt, her spine stretching out long and languid, a perfect arc that he curls over as he splits her open. It hurts, good hurt, stretching hurt, her eyes scrunching shut, so sensitive still. He shushes her groans, pressing his lips to her temple, coaxing her face to turn and seek out his in a kiss that tastes like herself, her eyes still closed tight.
“Uh-huh.” He doesn’t really pull out, just ruts his hips deeper and deeper against the curve of her ass and it’s so much, so early, all she can do is take it, slack and simmering at the same time. 
“Do I matter, Cher?” One hand pressed against her belly, palm splayed out over softness, the other wrapping around her torso, palming the weight of her breast as he hoists her up against his chest, limbless and keening in his grip, her head falling back on his shoulder. 
“So much.” He holds her, suspended, strung and taut in his hands as he fucks up into her, his nose dragging along the line of her jaw. 
“So much?” It’s all she can do to reach her hand back and grip his ass, that tight clench of muscle as he grinds his hips against hers. His hand that had been clutching her breast drags up to rest over the front of her throat, thumb and forefinger framing her jaw to tilt her head toward him, a silent ask that she obliges, her eyes finally slipping open to look at him.
“The most.” Good morning, what a sight. His hair sticking up all which ways, sleep still heavy and dark around his eyes, his lips parted and shiny with her and the quick pink of his tongue. His fingers pinch at her jaw, opening her up for him to lick into her mouth. He mouths at her like he’s trying to swallow up the high little cries he keeps punching out of her with the way he’s keeping her so full of him, throbbing and dripping down her thighs. And it still hurts, still fucked out, raw and red and reeling, but this is all she wants lately, to have him so deep that she knows she’ll be thinking about him for the rest of the day. 
“Just want one, Cher. Then we gotta– fuck– gotta get to church because we-we’re both going to hell at this rate.” That makes her laugh into his mouth, Joel cursing low when her cunt clenches around him, a brutal drag. 
“You and me, baby.” She knows exactly what she’s doing by saying that, that little word that seems to make his brain fry. She saves it, rations it, only letting it slip up her throat on spare occasions so he doesn’t get too accustomed to it, so he still reacts like he does now, his eyes scrunching shut, pained pleasure, and his hips snapping against her ass a little harder. His hand slips a little lower from where it was splayed against her stomach, finding her clit in a greedy swirl. And it isn’t long before her spine is stringing so tight that the stick of her skin pulls away from his chest, a sharp gasp of his name before everything turns liquid. 
Even as he continues to fuck into her, he’s gentle, so gentle guiding her down in her slump back onto her stomach, holding her hips up with his hands curled around her waist. His warmth starts to spread inside her with a quiet groan, hips close and jolting against her, his face pressed between her shoulder blades before he slackens on top of her entirely. She likes the weight of him, the whole body press down into his mattress, pushed and pulled by his breath battering against hers in their ribs. Always missing it when he presses his palms into the mattress to lift his torso up and off of her, still inside her, starting to soften and spill. He traces a finger from the side of her cheekbone along the curve of her ear, a silent ask that makes her turn her face to the side so he can dip down and find her mouth with his. 
“For the record, I don’t wanna go either.” Another kiss, just a quick, smacking thing before he rolls over beside her, flopping down onto his back and dragging his hand through his muss of hair. 
“I know.” She props up on her elbow, her cheek in her hand so she can look at him, reaching out because she can, letting her thumb slide gently beneath his lashes because she can, his cheek rounding under her ministrations. 
“Ma would throttle me if I didn’t.” He tilts his chin up, lips to the pad of her thumb, and then teeth just to get a laugh out of her. 
“I know.” Said on a long sigh as she finally turns over and sits up in bed, Joel’s palm immediately finding her spine, running the length of it, fingers curling over her shoulder at the top before slipping back down. 
“And your parents, well.” He doesn’t finish the thought, well coming out long and low on an exhale. She silently thanks him for not finishing the thought, looking at him over her shoulder, small smile before she gets out of bed, his eyes trailing her bare body as she shuffles around the room, the remnants of him already starting to slick down her thighs. His hands are crossed behind his head, young muscles tensing in his arms, suddenly seemingly content to stay splayed in bed while she puts on the dress she had packed last night for church. Her parents think that she’s sleeping over at Lisa-Anne’s house. She’s been sleeping over at Lisa-Anne’s house a lot lately.
“C’mere, Cherry baby.” She ignores him, padding into his bathroom and running her fingers back through her hair a few times, good enough. Joel has turned over onto his side to watch, a low rasp of singing that she has to roll her eyes at. 
Cherryyyyyy, cherry baby
Mmm, you look so fine
I’m gonna make you miiiine
“That’s not even how the lyrics go.” 
“No?” 
“No.” She knows that she’ll break if she actually looks at him, so she keeps her eyes pointedly focused on slipping the kitten heels her mother insisted on getting her for church onto her feet while Joel huffs at her cold shoulder.
“Come teach them to me then, Cherry baby.” She finally breaks, and of course he’s smiling, his dimple deep and endearing and annoying.
“Joel, get up. You’re the one that was so worried about being late to church.” He scoffs, slumping back down into the sheets with all the drama of a swooning maiden. She’s going to have to use a different tactic.
“I’ll do that thing you like so much later if you get dressed right now.” His whole torso shoots back up at that, eyes wide and mouth agape.
“Today?”
“This afternoon, yeah, after we atone for our sins.” He’s already up and stumbling into the bathroom, his bare ass giving her quite the show. 
They drive separate, of course, and they’re both still ten minutes late to church. 
She’s on the phone when she answers the door, her eyes lighting up, big smile even as she keeps talking, tilting her chin to welcome him into the front hallway.
“Well, I don’t have twenty thousand more words for you yet, and since when are we on some insane time crunch anyways?” He can’t help smiling watching her, pacing a little back and forth, a deep pull to her brow as she fires off sharp words down the line.
“Look, I can’t tell you when it’s going to be done, you know I don’t work like that.” She holds up her finger to him, mouthing one minute. He nods, staying right where he is as she pads further into the house, still muttering into her phone. His eyes start to wander, looking into what must be the living room off to his right, awash in full light from the large windows in the front. To his left is a staircase, pictures already hanging along the hall opposite it. Mostly of her and Ellie, one sending a particular pang though his chest. It’s her holding what must have been Ellie as a toddler, all bundled up, her tiny cheek pressed against Cherry’s, rounded with smiles. They’re standing in front of a huge Christmas tree, that one they put up every year in New York, he recognizes. Cherry couldn’t be more than twenty-four, maybe twenty-five in the picture, still so young. 
“What’re you doing here?” He whips around to see Ellie coming down the stairs, death glare in fine form this morning as she comes to stand in front of him with her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed. 
“I’m gonna be fixing the porch.”
“That better be all you’re fixing, old man.” Absolutely no clue how to respond to that, and luckily he doesn’t need to because Cherry is coming back down the hall, no phone in hand this time.
“Hey, babe, carpool is gonna be here soon, have you had something to eat yet?” He feels like he shouldn’t get to see this, their quiet rush of a morning routine, Cherry already flitting away into what he assumes is the kitchen as Ellie groans that she isn’t hungry this early, Cherry back just as quick with a banana and a just humor me, please when she hands it to the kid. And then the phone rings again and Cherry groans, quick kiss to Ellie’s forehead which she scoffs and squirms out from under as Cherry darts back down the hall to pick up whoever is calling. Ellie meanwhile shoulders on a backpack and opens the front door, but not without turning around to shoot Joel one more look.
“I’m watching you, old man. Even when I’m not, I am.” She points a sharp finger at him, though he has no time to respond to that either, Ellie shouting a quick love you, mom down the hall which is easily answered by Cherry’s love you, babe, have fun before the kid is out the door with a hard slam. Joel already feels exhausted, and he’s only been here for all of five minutes. 
He decides that it’s okay to shuffle a little further into the house, following the sound of Cherry’s voice, still rattling off rapid fire to whoever she’s talking to on the phone. He hovers just in the doorway of what he assumes must be her office, sparsely furnished, just a desk with one of those fancy new Apple desktops on it and a slew of pens and notebooks surrounding it. Still a tall stack of boxes in one corner, though there’s already a shelf built and packed with books along the wall. 
“No, no, no, we tried to get her to do the cover art for the last one, and it was a complete fucking mess. I don’t– why are we even talking about this? The book is nowhere near finished yet– this is actually ridiculous. You know what the best thing you could do for me right now is? Leave me alone so maybe I can actually get some work done. Okay? Great, thanks so much, bye.” He winces at how hard she shuts her cell phone. But when she turns around to look at him, the scowl on her face melts into more of a resigned grimace. 
“Sorry about that.” 
“If it’s a bad time, Cher, I can come back another day.” She’s breezing right past him, always at a clipped pace it seems, and all he can think is that he should probably be following behind her and into the kitchen, so he does, albeit a little tentatively, not wanting to disrupt whatever warpath she seems to be on.
“No, it’s a perfect time, I swear, I will throw my phone in the garbage disposal if anyone else calls me.” She has a hand held up, as if she’s trying to remember something and pointing one finger into the air will help, her eyes scrunched shut. Honestly, she looks completely fritzed, taking a few steps toward the refrigerator, then seeming to change her mind and walk back over to him where he’s standing in the doorway. 
“Right, the porch, sorry, let me just get my brain out of my editor’s ass and–” He cuts her off with a hand on her bicep, easy, friendly. He can do friendly.
“Cher, really, it’s okay, I have all day.” She finally seems to take a breath that makes it past her throat, that frantic tilt in her eyes already starting to smooth. 
“Is Sarah’s team doing the whole bonding thing today too?” He nods, sharing a quick smile with her, and then remembering that no, not friendly to just keep his hand on her bicep and no, there is no non-awkward way to retract his hand, though he does his best.
“So the porch, what am I working with here?”  She leads him out to the backdoor and he finds that he’s working with exactly what she described. The planks are all rotten, pock-marked and fraying, a complete hazard. He doesn’t even try to walk on it, it's that bad. 
“Well, what do you think?” She says it with the corner of her thumbnail worrying between her teeth, leaning in the doorframe beside him.
“I think you’re gonna need a whole new porch, Cher. Just looking at it, I can tell you right now that none of this is safe to salvage.”
“That sounds expensive.” Not for you, he’d like to say. Not anything for you. But he can’t say that because then she’d never let him do it in the first place. 
“Nah, it’s easy stuff. Maybe a few days, but really, not major at all.” Her eyes scan out over the porch, and he can practically see the gears turning in her head.
“How much do you think, altogether?” 
“Uh, well–”
“Joel, no.”
“What no?” 
“No, I know what you’re doing, and I’m not gonna let you undersell your work just because it’s me.”
“Friends and family discount, Cher.” There is no friends and family discount. His uncle asked them to build a new addition to his house last year and the Miller brothers were happy to charge him full price, just good business. 
“I want you to tell me how much it would be if I was just some random person that hired you.” If it gets her to drop it, he’ll indulge it, he’ll just leave out the fact that he’s never going to accept a single dime of it.
“Well there’s the cost of materials and labor to consider. I could probably get this done over three or four days. You’d be looking at anywhere from four to maybe six thousand dollars.” She nods, working her jaw as she squints out at the porch again before finally holding her hand out to him, though it takes him a beat to realize that she’s looking for a shake. 
“Alright, sounds like a deal. And I will be paying full price, just so you know. I’ll send the check to Tommy if I have to.” He’s still holding her hand in a ridiculous shake, nodding along even though he’d throttle Tommy if she really did that. 
“Whatever you say, Cher. So am I good to go ahead and get to work out there?” 
“Yes, yeah, absolutely, it’s all yours to have at it–” She’s cut off by the sound of her phone ringing in the other room, her whole face scrunching up at the sound.
“Sorry, I just– well, you know your way around the house, right?” She’s already shuffling down the hall toward her office.
“Yeah, I think I can manage, don’t worry about it, Cher.” Her phone is still ringing as she leans out of the doorway of her office, smiling at him, all apologetic. 
“Thank you, so fucking much. If you need anything I will most likely be in here for the rest of the day.” She slams the door behind her, and he figures that’s where Ellie gets it from. 
She almost didn’t return to the auto shop, wan and worn out from what being ten minutes late to church got her, a sharp look from her mother when she slid into the pew next to her, the least of hers worries when she got home after the service. Her parents, so hell-bent on everything being prim and perfect and in its right place, and god forbid anything ever be not that. Nothing prim and perfect about it, really. 
She parks at the back of the shop, her usual spot, a quick swipe of her knuckles under both of her eyes, sniff, a bit stiff. She can’t believe that after all this time, this stuff still manages to make her cry. She wishes that it didn’t. 
He’s finishing up for the day. She always comes around just when he’s punching out, hovering around the front office, usually a little giddy with it. But tonight she only feels a tired anticipation, trying to get herself ready to be okay for him, when really all she wants is to lay down and be very still for a few hours. She can’t do that though, because he’s there, covered in grease with his ball cap hanging out of the backpocket of his coveralls, all smiles when he sees her through the window of the front office looking in on the garage, laughing and getting ribbed by the other men he works with when he sends her a little wave. She waves back, trying to make a smile happen, though she sees that it looks more like a wince in the reflection of the window. But then he’s really there, coming through the front office, keeping his hands to himself when he smacks a quick kiss to her cheek on his way to the sink to wash up, his neck craned to look at her even as he does. And he’s singing again, and she doesn’t know why, but it’s making her throat curl up tight and hot with tears all over. 
Cherryyyyy, cherry baby
Cherryyyy, can you come out tonight
She blinks hard to hold back the salt, trying to make another smile happen as he walks over to her, taking her bag from her shoulder into his hand. And she knows he knows that something isn’t quite right, his brows falling, a barely there question that she’s grateful he doesn’t ask, tugging on her hand to lead her up the back stairs to his apartment above the shop. 
“Just gonna get a quick shower, but then I’m all yours.” A small kiss to her lips, she just nods, worried that her voice will give her away, so quick to fall apart under his gaze. While he cleans up in the bathroom, she sits down on the edge of his bed, steepling her hands along her temples, her elbows resting on her knees. It’s a small thing of an apartment, one room, a bed in one corner, and what could be called a kitchen in the other, counter and refrigerator and an ancient looking stove. A small table with two chairs tucked into another corner, and a dresser she knows came directly from his childhood bedroom in the other. The simplicity is soothing to the dull throb settling under her skull. 
The shower squeaks off and she hates that she takes a deep breath as if to brace herself for his presence again. He’s quiet padding out of the bathroom, she only feels the slight dip of the mattress as he crawls up behind her, the smell of that irish spring soap he uses washing heady and heavy over her mind when he presses a kiss to the top of her shoulder. 
“What’s going on, Cher?” It always shocks her, how quiet he can get, usually all brass and brash, and it certainly doesn’t help the whole not crying thing either. 
“I know I said– this morning– um, I know I said that I’d– that I would–” Her fists are clenched so tight in her lap that she thinks her fingernails might break skin, trying and failing to get the words out before the flood comes. But Joel is already springing into action, coming to sit next to her on the edge of the bed, nothing but a towel around his hips, collecting both of her hands in his, unfurling them in his. 
“Hey, hey, what’s– what is it? What’s wrong?” Just a few, enough for her vision to start to cloud with them, though she can still see the way he ducks his head down to catch her gaze, his brow crumpled and a deep frown pulling at his lips. She takes one of her hands from his to pinch the bridge of her nose, trying to cut off the tears before they can really start falling. 
“I think I’m just tired. I’m sorry, Joel. Would it be okay if we, um, if we just–” He squeezes her hand, a relief in its quiet reassurance.
“Why don’t we just lay down, Cher, huh? It’s too hot out for anything else anyways.” She mumbles a warbly okay, but he’s already up and rummaging through his dresser, pulling on a pair of boxers before digging out a shirt for her as well, because she’s still in the stupid dress from this morning, only now realizing how badly she’d like to claw it off right now. 
Finally, they settle down around each other on the mattress, only the sparsest of clothing, the sheets kicked off the end so they can stay close even with the humid warmth in the air. And after dozing for an hour or two like that, letting that thick crush of tears dissolve itself with her cheek smushed against his bare chest, she lifts her head up to meet his half-shut eyes. 
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, Cher.” 
“Do you ever think about leaving?” He drags his finger down the line of her nose, then back up and over the arc of her eyebrow, idle and easy. 
“You mean– like leaving town?”
“Yeah, getting out of here.” 
“Sometimes, a lot less than you do, I bet.” 
“Sometimes it seems like it’s all I think about.” Joel lets out a long sigh at her words, his finger continuing a random path along her jaw, over her bottom lip, mismatched mapping.
“I know it is, Cher.”
“Do you think I could do it? Just not come back?”
“I know you could. Go and be a big time writer and all that.” 
“You could too, you know.” Joel snorts, and she brings her palm down on his chest, a small don’t.
“Yeah right.”
“You could. There’s auto shops in the big cities too, Joel.” 
“I don’t wanna work in an auto shop for the rest of my life, Cher.” 
“What do you wanna do?”
“I’m still figuring that out.” She hums, pressing a kiss to his chest, her bare legs shifting in their tangle with his. 
“Would you do it with me?” It comes out, bubbles up from her chest before she can stop it. And she only realizes how badly she wants it after she has asked it. How quickly this has turned into the only thing she wants, her mind finally catching up with everything else. How somewhere along the way, nothing serious, just for the summer, became something else entirely. 
“Do what?”
“Leave and not come back, with me.” 
“Cherry.” Said long and low, like don’t tease, not this, please don’t. It makes her sit up a bit more so she can fully look at him..
“I’m serious, Joel.” Yes, she thinks, she is really, really serious about this. So serious about this it feels like her heart might split at the seams if he tells her anything other than yes. Joel still looks skeptical, unsure, his head tilted and his brow furrowed up at her. 
“Like, now?”
“No, at the end of the summer, two weeks from now. Just come with me when I go back to college.”
“And what, Cher? You’re gonna tuck me away in your dorm room or something?” She hates that now is the time he chooses to be such the pragmatist, frustrated heat creeping up her throat as she lets her nails scratch lightly against his chest, as if she might be able to coax something else out from behind his ribs. 
“We’ll get an apartment. I’m eligible to work as a TA next year, and you’ll find work too and then– and then I only have two more years left of school and–”
“Are you really serious about this?” He has finally sat up with her, stopping her ramble into the future with his palm cupping her cheek. 
“I’m so serious, Joel.”
“We’d be dirt poor.”
“Probably.”
“We’d probably kill each other after a month of living together.” 
“It’s possible.”
“Goddamn it, why am I actually considering this?” That makes a laugh burst from her chest, her smile curling against his, her forehead pressed against his. 
“Just say that you will, Joel, please.” He takes a kiss from her, then another, then another until there’s no space between them, mouths moving mouths and sighs being swallowed and his hands coaxing her into his lap, holding her as close as he can.  
“You really want to do that– with me?” There it is, that smallness, that youngness, his eyes wide and rounded and looking at her and only her. Asking for something, anything from her. She gives him only the truth in return.
“I wouldn’t want to leave with anyone else but you.”
It’s impossibly hot out, humid too, and by the time one o’clock rolls around, he’s doing less actual work and more swiping away sweat before it drips into his eyes. Though he’s pleased with the progress he’s made, having already broken down the dilapidated porch, a huge pile of scrap wood all that remains of it, not much more to do now until he gets the materials needed to start building. 
“Cher?” He knocks on her office door, still shut, and he reckons it’s been shut since she slammed it earlier that morning. He thinks that he can hear the faint sound of typing, a small curl of guilt in his gut that he’s interrupting, but he knocks again, a little louder, the typing coming to an abrupt stop. 
“Hey, how’s it going out there?” She’s wearing glasses, thick, square frames that hang low on her nose, peering at him over the top of them. It stops his mind short for a moment, something new that he tries to quickly tuck away, but she still seems to catch his stuttered moment, her smile turning slanted as she pushes the glasses up and into her hair.
“Readers, can you believe that? I’m not even forty and I need readers. My doctor says it’s because I press my face too close to the screen while I’m writing, so chalk it up to occupational hazard I guess.” That makes him smile with a quick string of memories, her when they were kids, curled over her notebook with her nose pressed right alongside the quick scrawl of her pencil. Maybe not so new then. 
“Reckon I’ll need them soon too.”
“Well, I’ll give you a pair of mine when you do, I have about a dozen of them scattered in various places around the house.” She sighs, a glance over her shoulder to her computer, screen still on, mouse still blinking, and he remembers what he actually came to bother her for. 
“Just wanted to let you know that the old porch is all broken down. I’ll have one of the guys come by and pick up all the scrap in a day or two. Next step will be you deciding on what kind of wood you want the new one built with.” 
“Oh wow, you moved fast, huh?” He palms the back of his neck, just a bit bashful under her wide eyes and small praise. But then he realizes that he just showed her the huge sweat stain under the arm of his t-shirt, quickly dropping his arm back down with a shrug.
“It’s nothing, Cher, that wood was so rotten most of the work was already done for me.” 
“Thank you anyways, seriously, I– oh shit, is it really one already?” He realizes that she’s looking over his shoulder at a clock hanging on the wall outside her office, another long sigh deflating her shoulders.
“I can’t believe you’ve been working this whole time, Joel. Jesus, it’s so hot out– here–” She’s already on the move, and he just barely keeps up on her heels and into the kitchen. Whatever this is, this frantic and flighty energy, it’s definitely new. His protests fall on deaf ears as she bangs and barges around the kitchen, filling a glass with ice and water and– 
“We don’t have much to eat, and I know you aren’t exactly interested in tofu but–”
“Cher–”
“There’s a new sandwich place that I saw opened down the street? I forget the name but I could–”
“Cher, I–”
“I always have eggs in the fridge, not exactly lunch but–”
“Cherry.” Just enough volume, enough firmness for her to stop in her tracks, still that flustered look on her face, and it confirms what he had suspected. 
“Are you– are you nervous about something?” Another long sigh, the tense lift of her brow slackening as she hands him the glass of water, finally slowing down. 
“Do you want the truth?” He can’t help the short bark of laughter that comes out at her question, though she seems dead serious, looking up at him from under a rather timid pout.
“I’d prefer it, yeah.” 
“It’s gonna sound stupid.”
“Try me, Cher.” She rounds the kitchen counter to stand in front of him. He swears his heart jumps and jolts into his throat when she picks up one of his hands in both of hers, turning over his palm. He doesn’t dare move, not a muscle, watching the way her lashes drop down to her cheeks from the way she keeps her eyes focused on his hand.
“Well, I– oh, you have a splinter in your palm.” He is so completely uninterested in the fact that there’s a splinter in his palm right now, willing her to get back to whatever track she was just on, but she’s already tugging him by his hand through the house and up the stairs and into a bedroom, her bedroom, he thinks, and finally into her bathroom. And there’s no real thought formed in his mind as he watches her rummage in her medicine cabinet for tweezers, just that tightness in his throat and the strange kick in his chest. 
“Alright, quick pinch.” Something that a mother would say, his eyes prick with it, and not because of the swift pull of the splinter coming out of his palm. And she’s so close, her chin tucked down to look at his hand, her forehead almost grazing his. And her hand that isn’t daubing disinfectant into his palm is cupped so lightly beneath his own, her thumb stroking along the side of his. A small whisper of that’s better, though he doesn’t let her flit away when she’s finished, turning his hand to lace his fingers with hers. Her eyes stay focused on their hands, but he ducks his head down to finally catch her gaze. 
“Now what’s got you so nervous, Cher?” Quiet, something that she taught him how to do first, before Sarah did. How quiet he could be for her, and what a gift it was.
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yes, Joel, you.”
“What did I do?” The small curl of a smile, somewhere in the sway his forehead has pressed against hers so he can feel the ghost of that curve against his own.
“You’re here, in my house.” 
“Do you want me to leave?” So light, so barely, her nose brushing along the line of his. His eyes flutter shut with the sigh she lets out. 
“No, I very much do not want you to leave.” A fleeting thought, how easy this was two decades ago. How easy it was to reach out for her and now, now it takes every strung snap of his heart pulling and pulsing to close that space. But when he does, the world doesn't stop spinning, there is no orchestral swell. In fact, he can hear a car alarm going off outside. And it isn’t exactly good either, because the moment his lips brush hers, she is just as soon jerking her head away, a quiet curse in the back of her throat. Not exactly the reaction he was looking for.
“Shit, Cher, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have–”
“No, no, that one is on me. I just– could you– could we–” She takes another deep breath, like she’s trying to stop herself from tripping over any more words. He’s happy to fill in the rest for her.
“Try again?” 
“Yeah, please.” 
This time, he thinks it through a bit more. He brings his hand that isn’t held in hers to the side of her neck, his fingers curling around her nape, something steady to smooth out her fret. Nothing like this, not in years, though he wills himself to remember. A small one to the corner of her mouth, still an out, a chance to decide that no, big mistake, because if this goes any further, he doesn’t know if he could take no without falling to pieces. But she doesn’t pull away this time, her palm coming to splay against his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his t-shirt, the smallest tug to come closer. 
The next one is good. The next one is a shared sigh, a yes, please, this. Missed this. Missed the soft puff of her breath against his mouth before pressing his lips to hers. Missed that sound, that broken little thing in the back of her throat when he slips his tongue along her bottom lip. Missed the way her jaw hinges, opening up to him easy. Yes, he thinks, this feels easy. Like they never stopped. 
Neither of them speak, silent understanding in the shuffle of their feet, knees bumping into each other as they stumble out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. He should be more careful, he should be less greedy. He should, but. But she’s here, and she’s pressing the perfect length of her body against his, and she keeps kissing him, surprising him when she pulls away only to put her lips in that one patch of his beard that has never grown right, holding her mouth there like yes, she has always been right there. 
So he grows greedy with it, his hands almost unsure of where they would like to start first. Her hips, holding the frame of them, feeling that presence before his palms slip up under the hem of her t-shirt, warm skin and the notches of her spine, known and unknown at the same time. And he thinks to himself that it must be a New York thing, this no bra streak she seems to be on, but he’s happy for it, makes it easier for his palms to spread out over the planes of her shoulder blades, the fragile flutter of bone and muscle as she circles her arms around his shoulders. Her fingers slip under the neck of his t-shirt, seeking out skin the same as him, and suddenly that little worry, that little fear creeps in. He could excuse it as insecurity, that would be easiest, so he does.
“Cher, I– I’ve been working all morning and I’m pretty sure I smell and–” The words fizzle out in his throat when her nails scratch along his shoulder blades, holding him in place as she noses along the line of his neck, her lips coming to rest just beneath the hinge of his jaw. Still surprising him, she ducks her head down, pressing her face into his chest, an inhale that feels deeper from the rise and fall of it against where his palms are still splayed on her back. 
“Joel, I really don’t give a fuck about that.” No, no retreat, not now, her small nod enough for him to take a little more, to keep going. She wants this too. Wants him too. And maybe, maybe she never stopped. Because she’s moving like him, desperate like him, searching like him, so maybe like him, she never stopped. 
Each article of clothing is asked after. Is this okay? Yes, please, yes. Still okay? Yes, still okay, please, yes. Until she’s bare and so is he, and it’s the same, and it’s so very different. His palm settles wide over her stomach, fingers slipping down along the dark scar just over her pelvis, her breath tensing and catching there as he does.
“Ellie was a c-section.” She says it shy, her eyes focused on where her hand is curled around his bicep. 
“That right?”
“Hmm, nothing ever easy with that one.” He smiles against her temple, his palm dragging up, settling at the curve of her breast, earning a laugh from her when he squeezes just a little mean. Up even further, to her shoulder, to that tattoo, that blooming branch of a cherry tree.
“When, Cher?” 
“Three years ago, and this one–” She pulls his hand down the side of her body, all the way to her thigh where the bundle of chrysanthemums is inked. 
“Two years ago.” He likes that it was so recent. The small, childish part of his brain does, at least. That she was still thinking about it, that she wanted to keep thinking about it. Something big and proud pressing against his ribs, just so to make him bold enough to coax her back and down onto her bed. 
He keeps his palm on the chrysanthemums, only removing it once he has settled on his stomach between her legs, quickly replaced by the open heat of his mouth, dragging along each dark bloom. 
“You’re bigger, Joel.” His first instinct is to turn sheepish under her gaze, nearly ready to tell her that actually, he’s doing Atkins. But then he gets a better look at her expression, the heavy droop of her eyes and the soft, small part of her lips. And she’s looking at him, all at him. He puffs up with that look, coaxing her thighs over his shoulders, only wanting it to ache a little with how wide he has her spread open. 
“Can I?” 
“Please.” All the nerves he remembers from two decades ago, anxious to do it right, to make it right for her. Though that’s tempered beneath the throbbing want he feels, no room to be bashful when he’s hurting so bad for it. And no room to be precious about it either, dragging the flat of his tongue through her cunt, a groan already crackling in the back of his throat when she says his name like a sigh, long and languoring. He stills remembers her fingers in his hair, and he can’t help the way his eyes flick up to her face, brow pulled down deep and wanting, trying to ask for it without having to as he sucks and laps at her clit. And when he pulls his mouth away enough to spit on her swollen sex, only to chase right after it with his tongue, pressing into her clenching entrance with his jaw dropped and heavy, she finally gives him what he wants, her fingers threading through his hair to cup the back of his head. A light tug, always in charge. 
“Like that– so good like that– fuck.” That’s another thing he’s noticed, a new habit she must have picked up along the way, her words a little crasser, a little more swearing mixing with everything else. It both shocks and delights him that her bite got bigger through the years. 
His hips have started to jolt into the mattress like a damn teenager, but he can’t help it, not when he’s watching the way the tendons in her neck arch and jump as he slides one finger into her cunt, quickly followed by a second when she preens more, please, more. He rests his cheek on her thigh, a kiss to the crease of her hip as he fucks her open on his fingers, that close curl he remembers her liking making her stomach clench and her back arch. 
“Look at me, Cher, please.” It feels more like a need than a want, to have her eyes on him, to make this real, and he’ll beg for it if he has to, but her eyes are already cracking open, still half-shut, the downturned fan of her lashes barely lifting. But she’s looking at him, her lips parting as she watches him press his mouth over her clit, holding steady swirling heat and pressure, chasing down her pleasure for her. 
“Baby– I want– I want– I–” He didn’t know he was waiting to hear that, how badly he wanted to hear that, has been wanting to hear that. And now it’s all he wants, that word, from her, over and over and over. He smooths his other palm out over her pelvis, holding her steady even when she tries to curl back into the mattress, away from the insistent press of his fingers and the heat of his mouth. 
“Say that again, Cherry. I’ll give you everything you want if you just say that again for me.” Her head is tilted to the side, her ear almost on her shoulder as she looks down at him, her face crumpled somewhere between hurt and want. But it smooths out all at once, and he knows she knows, an I got you in the small smugness of her slanted smile. 
“Baby, you’re gonna make me come.” 
“Who is, Cher?” His words slur hot and heavy over her clit, and he can feel the muscles in her stomach jump beneath his palm. 
“You–” She cuts herself off with a stuttered whine when he lets his fingers stretch and curl inside her, though she continues on a drawn exhale youyouyouyou.
“Close?” He doesn’t need to ask it, he can feel it in the way she’s clenching around his fingers, in the way her slick is smearing against the inside of her thighs, against his scruff. 
“Uh-huh.” 
“You want it?” Another uh-huh and a jerky nod, her fingers curling tighter in his hair and her heel slipping down his back, digging into muscle as he takes and takes and takes. 
“It’s yours, Cher. Take it, it’s all yours.” She does, perfectly, with his name small and nearly soundless in her throat, her whole body curling up tight around him before going limp, slackening slow. Just a weak pull of her fingers in his hair and a mumbled come here, please, come here, to coax him up the length of her body. 
His cock rests hard and aching against the crease of her thigh, and he hasn’t wanted something so badly, so entirely, in a very long time. She rests her hand on his chest, letting her nails graze down his front, particular attention paid to his stomach, something that makes him grumble, though she’s smiling as she does it, eyes crinkling up. Smiling like that, here with him like that, all he can do to duck down to make sure that it’s real with his mouth against hers.
And no, he thinks, they’re definitely not doing this in the right order. Probably should have had a healthy, adult conversation. Probably should have done a lot of things differently before ending up like this. But she moves so good for him, and he hopes he can for her too, his hand curling around the back of her knee to hitch it against his hip, opening her up as his cock drags heavy and wanting through her swollen cunt.  No words when he presses his hips forward, to the very end of her, just open mouths breathing each other in, and stillness that makes his head spin in the impossible heat of her. 
“Cher, I– been a little while for me and I don’t– I’m sorry– I don’t think–” Soothing, her palm brushing back his hair from his face, drawing his eyes to hers and she’s still smiling. Not mirthful or mocking, just presence, just feeling it too, her other palm smoothing circles along his shoulders.
“It’s okay, Joel, just let me feel you. That’s all I want.” He can’t help the sound that skitters up his throat at her words, something broken and small, because she just keeps looking at him, eyes wide and reassuring, still brushing her hand back through his hair, taking care as he falls apart for her. And it’s devastating when he finally moves, a full tilt unraveling as they both let out sharp breaths, her spine curling off the mattress when he thrusts forward again. 
They take it slow but strong, each press of his hips driving them further up the mattress until he has to curl his forearm around the crown of her head to keep her from jolting into the headboard. And he was right, it has been a while, and it’s her, and he’s already embarrassingly gone. And it doesn’t help that she’s murmuring in his ear all the while, that it’s okay, just want you, Joel, just want this, just give it to me, I want it. 
He comes with his hips bruisingly pressed against hers, with her whispered praises swirling around in his skull, and with his heart beating so hard he thinks his ribs might break with the ache of it. 
“You’re perfect, Cher. Nothing like this, ever. Just you.” The words don’t make much sense to him coming out, his mouth pressed over her sternum as he speaks. He just knows he means them, softening slow inside her, half a mind to apologize for thinking with his dick, but judging by the way her ankle is still hooked around his waist, holding him close, he doesn’t think she minds. 
And no, he thinks, this doesn’t solve any of their problems. So much that still needs to be said and understood and relearned. So much that needs to be sorry, so sorry. Two decades worth of sorry. But right now, she’s dragging her fingers through his scruff to pull his face to hers and she’s kissing him, and her chest is sticking to his with their sweat. 
“Missed you.” He’s not sure if he heard it right, mumbled out against his chin. Such a small sentiment to span all that time. 
“Missed you too, Cher.” 
...................................................
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adaptacy · 7 months
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Hi! Since requests are open I wanted to suggest a second part to the fic you wrote about Johnny escaping from prison and tracking you down, obviously sexually frustrated, missing the touch of his partner and being treated with basic human decency. It would be so cool if you could make it angsty too 🥲
hiiii anon! here you go :)
no smut here but rough treatment/handling and angst.
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It was gentle, but it was still a push. A push away. He remained in the same spot, though his head recoiled, and he looked down at you, eyes narrowed, irritated with your choice. "Why?" He hissed.
"It's been twelve years. You're a fugitive, Johnny. I- I have a son. We can't be doing this," you stammer, shaking your head as you keep him away with a palm against his chest. "I'm sorry."
"None of that shit matters. C'mon, darlin'. I've missed you," he stressed, pushing back against your hand and nearing your lips again, but you pulled away.
"I'm serious. I'm sorry, maybe I led you on, but... I never intended to- Can't you see? Don't you... see the problem?" You asked, your voice light, trying to remain unaccusatory. You understood him to an extent; you'd been able to make a life for yourself, and he'd been nothing but a spectator to the outside world. You were living a completely different story from his. And your paths had crossed in the past, but they weren't meant to cross again.
Hell, he was supposed to be in jail. Both of you knew that very well. Every day that he was out may be his last day before the cops found him again. You couldn't just cling onto a fading memory like that. Never knowing when your kiss may be the last, never knowing how long he was going to be in your life. That was way too much stress, even if some part of you did still love him.
You'd tried loving others. Hell, you'd married one of them. Had a kid. But it wasn't the same. Nothing ever came close to what you and Johnny had all those years ago. And when the marriage fell through, he conveniently showed up a few months later. A possibility you never could've even dreamed of being real. And you dreamed about him quite often.
With a quiet sigh, you pushed him off of you and tried to step out of the way, but he grabbed the middle of your shirt and tugged you backwards, pushing you against the brick wall of the alley the two of you were in. He was tipsy, but he wasn't drunk enough to accidentally be rough. He was doing it on purpose. "Johnny, I'm not doing this."
"Just fuckin' explain it to me again. Tell me why," he demanded, looming over you, his tone nothing short of menacing.
"I have a family."
"No, you have a kid. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."
"I have a life- I can't go housing a fugitive," you argued.
"I got my own place. You ain't gotta house shit."
"I hardly even know you, it's been forever," you pushed.
"So? We'll get to know each other again."
"You're dangerous, Johnny!" You snapped, heart picking up it's pace as you shook your head at him. His expression fell, his head retracting a few inches. "You killed people. Broke out of prison. You-" You huffed, finding your voice shaky despite trying your best to remain calm. "You're bad news," you whispered.
There was silence on Johnny's end, his chest rising and falling with a sort of determination as if his anger was slowly bubbling up. "What the hell did you just say to me?"
"Please, just... let me go. I shouldn't have encouraged this, I'm sorry, Johnny. I think it's best if we part-"
"No. What the fuck did you just say to me?" He snarled, and you flinched, your breath caught in your throat. His grip on your shirt tightened, and he pushed his fist harsher into your chest, his breaths coming out in rough bouts. "You didn't give a shit about any of that twelve years ago. That husband of yours fuck you that good, huh? Think you're too good for someone like me now? Think you're gonna be a good little suburban wife who can't be caught with a criminal like me?"
"I didn't say any of that. And, god, no- He's an ex, for one, and-"
"Listen, little miss picket fence, I don't give a shit about your new life. Whether yer believin' you changed, whether you think I'm nothin' more than a fugitive, it-" Johnny huffed, looking down, some unfamiliar emotion crossing over his eyes. "It don't change what we had. You wanna go denyin' that?"
"Johnny, that was twelve years ago. You-"
"It don't matter. None of it fuckin' matters. Ain't you able to see that? You wouldn't have given me the time of day if you didn't miss me."
"Of course I missed you. But you're insane if you think that just... randomly showing up as a goddamn jailbird escapee is going to suddenly have me back on my knees, you need to have a reality check. Please understand," you begged, scoffing at his inability to see clearly.
"That's all I am to you now, huh?"
"What?"
"You were the only thing I thought about in those walls. The only thing encouragin' me to break out. The only thing keepin' me fightin' back against the rat bastards who went around pickin' fights. You think you're just gonna say no?" He scoffed, looking back up as he searched your eyes for something. What exactly, you weren't sure. "Ain't you scared, pumpkin? You think yer safe from me?"
You frowned, lifting a hand and slapping him square across the face, staring him dead in the eyes. His head turned at the impact, and he stared down the alley for a few moments. "I know I am. Get the fuck off of me, Sawyer."
"The hell'd you just call me?" Johnny finally returned his sights to you, and he released your shirt just to slide his hand up to your throat, tightening his fingers around it and forcing your head back.
"Get. Off," you repeated, stern despite how incredibly intimidated you were. He could very well snap your neck like it was nothing, and he had no reason not to; he was already on the run, it wasn't like crimes were something he was scared of. Especially not murder.
"You think you can just talk to me however the hell you want? You think I won't kill you?" He growled, and you grabbed at his arm as he squeezed even more, causing genuine difficulty breathing. As you strained for an inhale, he leaned down, his mouth right next to your ear, his every huff making you flinch. "I was made for you. You're s'posed to be mine. Ain't that what you said? Promised me you'd be mine forever. I'm just comin' to claim my property."
"I'm not- an object, Johnny," you choked, but he hardly seemed convinced. "I said that because I was young, and dumb. And I was in love," you strained, squeezing at his arm. "I don't love you anymore, Johnny."
He stared for a moment, and then surprisingly, released you. You coughed, rubbing your throat where he'd grabbed you, breathing heavily. You never realized you could take breathing for granted, but you certainly had.
"You left. You killed. And clearly, you haven't changed," you muttered, taking in a deep breath as you panted. "I thought you didn't belong in prison. But I read about what you did. I... I guess I thought you'd changed. Thought you'd learned your lesson. But you're still as aggressive as ever."
"Sweetpea, I-"
"Don't. You just tried to kill me. Don't- Just... I'm going to go. I don't want to see you again. Especially not around my kid," you demanded, and his mouth hung slightly open, some apologetic rage behind his eyes.
But he didn't say anything else. Just... let you walk away.
Truth be told, he would've killed you. You knew that. He had the means to, had the reasons to.
Why he didn't, you had no clue.
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murdock-barnes · 1 year
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I NEED A MATTHEW MURDOCK ANGST sort of? based on the she hulk episode. so they're like married but he's still this huge player and sleeps with random women when his wife isn't at home, like when he went to LA or whatever he fucked she hulk even when he's in a relationship and she finds out and just breaks down preferably no smut with reader and matty but add whatever u want with him and anyone else ty!!
A Million Heartbreaks
Matt Murdock x Fem!Wife!Reader
Warnings: Manwhore Matt(he deserves his own warning lmao), pure angst
Word Count: 1,8K
A/N: Reblogs and comments are sooo appreciated! I really wanna hear what you think of this🥹
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You stirred awake upon hearing the door being shut. Confusion and panic filled you for a second but then you remembered that your husband had a late flight. It must have been him.
"Matthew?" you called out.
"Yeah, it's me," his voice came. A relief filled you when you heard his voice, accompanied by deep sorrow.
He entered the bedroom, dropping his suitcase. "Sorry, did I wake you up?"
You shook your head no, he could tell. Matt was always so sweet... until he's not.
You sat up, your back on the bedframe. "How was your trip?"
"Uh... it was okay." He was shaking off his clothes as he talked.
"That's it?" you asked. "Tell me more. I would love to hear about She-Hulk. She's so famous these days."
"Yeah... she was cool. Jen is a great lawyer."
"Jen?" you mumbled under your breath.
He noticed the change in your tone but didn't want to further investigate. He was left in his boxers and now slipped under the covers beside you. He seemed ready to sleep.
"I saw the trial, you know? On the news," you said. "Jennifer was talking to the reporters outside the court and I saw you in the back, leaving the building with that designer guy."
"Uh huh."
"You weren't wearing your wedding ring."
Matt's eyes opened. You couldn't hear heartbeats but you knew his got way quicker now.
"Baby..." he started.
“You just can’t help it, can you?" The disappointment in your voice burned his chest. Matt was truly sorry but yes he knew he just couldn't help it.
"What are you talking about?" His brows furrowed. Oh, he was gonna take the highway again.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about! You couldn't keep it in your pants... AGAIN. You fucked Jennifer."
"Oh, you gotta be kidding me... I don't have to explain myself but that did not happen."
There he was. The same old same old.
"I can't believe you..."
"Sweetheart, I swear nothing happened between me and her. Can we just talk about this in the morning?" He closed his eyes and shuffled to get into a more comfortable position.
"Oh my God! You're unbelievable and insufferable!"
He opened his eyes with a huff. His attitude only made you more annoyed and angry.
"Don't even try, Matt. There's a literal video of you leaving her house, doing the walk of shame. Some dude recognized your pathetic ass, filmed it, and put it on Twitter."
"What? That couldn't be me. I was in my hotel room all night."
He was kidding, right? Did he really think you were that dumb?
"I swear to God, if you attempt to gaslight me one more time, I'm gonna smack you so hard in the face."
He squeezed his eyes shut with a grunt. You didn't say a word and just waited for him to admit it. It's always been the same. He cheated, you confronted him, he denied it, and then confessed his sins. The same cat and mouse game.
"I did it." His voice was bitter, guilt dripping from every word. You couldn't give two fucks about his so-called guilt.
You chuckled, knowingly. He did it again despite his promises... and the promises before that... and before that. You gave him another chance every time because you wanted to believe in him. You've seen how determined he could be with his vigilante shit. Maybe he could put the same effort into his marriage. He never did.
"I'm sorry... I don't know what-"
"Shut it!" your voice grew stronger now. Your body was burning with rage and sadness and disappointment.
"How could you, Matt? Again?" You threw off the covers, sitting taller. "I am so sick and tired. I can't take it anymore."
He got up and sit, turning to you. His hands reached yours to hold but you drew them back, away from his touch. You got off the bed and started pacing the room.
"Please, I'll make it up-"
You couldn't stand hearing his whining, honestly. "Oh, stop it! It's the same thing every time. You go fuck around and come back, begging me to forgive you. You have no fucking respect for me, let alone love! I've had enough."
He pouted "Don't say that, you know I love you."
"No, you don't... No. If you were, you wouldn't do any of this."
He got up quickly and before you know it, he was at your feet, groveling. His forehead hit the ground and his hands grabbed your ankles. "I'll pray. I'll confess and repent my sins. Please, forgive me. I truly am sorry. Please."
Was he fucking for real? You backed away, slipping away from his clutch.
"You're such a good Catholic boy, aren't you? Catholic, my ass! Your conscience only seems to be working when it comes to killing but adultery and lying are okay, huh?"
A pained grunt came from him but he stayed in the same position. "I know, I'm a horrible person. I've made a mistake again. Please, take me back."
"You said it was a mistake with Claire, too and it was just one time with Karen. And Elektra... don't even get me started on her." You took in a sharp breath. Tears were burning your eyes. "You always went back to her. Whenever you were in trouble, you didn't come to me. Instead, you went into her arms."
He was silent as he sat up, taking his head between his hands.
"I don't know... maybe I am the problem. Maybe I couldn't give you the comfort that a wife should've given but I tried my best, Matt. You didn't even try." Your voice cracked in the last part and tears started to spill down your face.
"No... no. It's not you. You've been nothing but supportive and loving to me. I... I ruin everything." He swallowed hard with that lump in his throat. He hated seeing you sad and especially knowing that he was the one that was making you sad.
"You can't just say you ruin everything and move on with your life being an impending doom, Matt. You gave up. You're not even trying to be better. I've been on my own in this marriage for a long time now."
You sat on the bed with a huff. How did your relationship turn into this? It was all so sweet in the beginning. That night at the bar changed your life. This handsome, mysterious stranger approached you, buying you a drink. Honestly, you just wanted a free drink but the conversation hooked you. He was a charming man and a dangerous one. It felt like he was luring you into dark, shady waters but he was oh-so-sweet.
It was a month into your relationship when you found out he was the devil of Hell's Kitchen. One night, he stumbled into your apartment, beaten up and bloody. You spent the rest of the night tending his wounds. For you, it was hard to accept that he was risking his life out there every night. Somehow you got used to it.
Three months after getting married, you got promoted at work. Everything was so great, you were so happy. However, now your position required you to travel sometimes and you hated being away from Matt.
It was one of those nights that you came from a trip. Matt wasn't home so you just changed and decided to wait for him. You poured yourself a glass of wine and right when you were about to sit on the couch, something caught your eye. You leaned down to check. There was a red thong beside the couch, almost under it. Your body froze, all the air in your lungs emptying. It definitely wasn't yours. When you confronted Matt about it, he refused to recognize the underwear. Shocking! He even claimed that it was yours. That was your first big fight and when you find out about Claire.
There have been more work trips and more women. You only knew about Claire, Karen, and Elektra but you were certain that there were so much more. Why was he doing this? Why having you wasn't enough?
"Was I ever enough for you, Matthew?"
Matt never ever heard your voice so broken. He was drowning in your sadness while the taste of your tears filled the room.
"I gave you all of me and I did it gladly. I love you with all my heart, all my existence. We took a vow. We swore before God. We promised to honor each other." Your voice was barely a whisper now but he heard you loud and clear.
You fiddled with your ring, it almost burned your flesh now. "We promised to wear these rings to show our love and faithfulness."
Matt was sitting there silently and tears were falling out of his eyes. He was well aware that he fucked up. He ruined the best thing in his life. He made his one and only's heart bleed.
You were just sitting there contemplating the broken shards that were your marriage. You never loved anyone as much as you loved him. Hell, that was probably the only reason you kept forgiving him. He was a good man, you knew but he was in a constant battle with his demons. He would sometimes be off the rails but he always came back to you.
How long could you do this? How many more women? All these years, he trampled down your honor and dignity in the name of love and mistakes but no more.
No more.
You took a deep breath in and got up. It might've looked like a simple movement but it took all your courage and what's left of your dignity. You wouldn't take this man's disrespect and dishonesty anymore. Matt's head snapped in your direction, following every little movement.
You walked to the front door, grabbing your purse and coat. When Matt realized what was happening, he was by your side before you know it.
"Baby, please don't go. Let's just talk." He grabbed you by the waist and tried to halt your motion.
You tried to shrug him off but his hold was strong. "There's nothing to talk about. Let me go."
Matt's heart was breaking into million pieces. The idea of you leaving him... the idea of moving on with his life without you... he wished he could take back the time and undo every misdeed he committed.
"Don't leave me. Please... I'll change... for good this time, I swear. Baby, please don't do this to me."
His words burned through your chest. Even though he broke your heart a million times, you still felt sad because he was sad. His pretty face was contorted in pain. His unfocused eyes were filled with tears. You wanted to reach and wipe his tears away, give him a kiss and hug him.
No more.
"I'm done, Matt. I can't do this anymore. I don't deserve to be treated like this. I never did." You freed yourself from his grip and opened the door.
He fell onto his knees with a sob. "Please..."
You took in the view in front of you, feeling pity for him. Right before you walked out of the door, you said "Sign the divorce papers when they arrive."
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yourlocalmerchgirl · 28 days
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The War Within - Part Two
Briefly Joel x Neurodivergant Reader Then Tommy x Neurodivergant wife reader
Part 1
Summary: The time has come after all these years for you to face Joel again. But when a conversation goes wrong and leaves you reeling after he finds out you and Tommy are married, your fierce protectiveness comes out as you defend Tommy after Joel accuses him of taking you from him
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, Reader admits to not wanting to be alive anymore in the last, Angst- Lots and lots of it in this chapter, Verbal fighting- lots of it , course language and lots of swearing, emotional, talks of anxiety, depression, Panic attacks, Neurodivergant reader. No use of y/n. Reader goes by the nickname Birdie. Use of typical pet names.
A/N: I hope you all love this new multi part journey I've been working on, I'm extremely proud of this story. I understand that this storyline/ themes aren't for everyone.
There is a possibility for a part 3 if everyone is interested that would be a look at Reader and Tommy's relationship and the love they have for each other and how they take care of each other following the events in this chapter so please let me know if you are interested in seeing that happen.
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Your chest tightens, your thoughts dizzying as you try to comprehend what Tommy’s telling you.
“W-what?”
“He arrived today with some Firefly kid Marlene hired him to transport out here to some base. He immediately started asking about you, askin to see you.”
The look of panic in your eyes as you try to steady your breath has Tommy engulfing you in his warm embrace pulling you to his chest.
“I-I don’t think I’m ready to see him Tommy, I don’t think I can handle it”
“Sweet girl it’s ok, but I put him in his place, told him he had no right to demand to see you and that you had the right to decide. If you don’t want to see him you don’t have too, nobody’s gonna make you”
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Joels zoning out during dinner, they’ve been in Jackson for a couple of days, him and Ellie leave the day after tomorrow and he still hasn’t seen you much less heard anyone mention you. He’s starting to feel like you’re not here but that nobody wants to tell him. He’s pulled from his thoughts by Ellie’s constant chatter.
“Are you paying attention Joel?” Ellie teases
“Huh?”
“ I said I made a friend here at the stables?”
“Oh yea? The kids here do seem pretty nice”
“Not a kid dummy, an adult lady. She works at the stables and the barn”
“Ellie what did I tell you about bothering the people here?”
“I’m not bothering her, she’s really nice, pretty too. I’m not sure how old she, definitely not as old as you because you’re like ancient”
Joel chuckles at Ellie’s dig at him, but she doesn’t miss a beat.
“I met her the other day, I was trying to find somewhere quiet away from the other kids to eat and I ducked into the stables and she was there taking care of the horses and she said I could hang out in there. She’s been letting me help her feed the animals and talks with me. She keeps telling me I can come back and she teaches me more about the animals.”
“She sounds very nice, this mystery girl have a name?”
“Here’s the thing, she said her names Birdie, which i gotta admit at first I thought that was a friggen weird name but then she said everyone calls her that because of her love of animals which i think is pretty cool!”
Joel’s in shock, his mouth falls open when he hears your name, hears that you’re still going by that all these years later. Birdie was a nickname him and Tommy had given you before the outbreak because of you love of all animals. He’s able to snap his mouth closed before Ellie noticed his reaction.
“She has a radio in there and has these cassettes that my friend found when we were back at the QZ that she lets me listen too.”
“You should meet her, I bet you’d think she was pretty cool”
“Oh ah yea maybe, I’ll have to see if I can make it over there before we leave. I wouldn’t want to bother her.”
“Hey will you be alright here for a while? I gotta go talk to Tommy about some stuff before we depart”
“Oh yea sure, I’ll read more of those diaries I found in the bedroom”
Ellie hardly gets her answer out before Joel’s grabbing his jacket and racing out the door.
You’re already upstairs when you hear the frantic knocks at your front door.
You’re shutting off all the lights when you hear another frantic series of knocks before you hear him.
“Tommy you in there?” Joel’s muffled voice shouts through the door from the other side.
Tommy glances up the stairs to see you peeking downstairs from the darkness.
“What’s going on Joel? Everything alright?” Tommy asks as he opens the door.
Joel says nothing, just pushes past him into the house.
“Please Tommy just tell me where I can find her, we leave day after tomorrow and I just want to see her”
“Joel I don’t know what to tell you, I don’t think she wants to see you”
“Tommy please” Joel’s voice sounding more and more pained as they moved around the main floor of the house.
“Look I’m not sure if I’m gonna make it back from my journey. I ain’t what I used to be, I’m getting old, I’m slower than I used to be, I can’t think as quickly. Don’t hear so well out of my one ear. Im failing in my sleep Tommy, every morning when I wake up I feel like I’ve lost something. Please. If I’m gonna die I don’t want too of never seen her again.” Joel’s voice cracks as the tears start to well.
You’ve never heard Joel speak like that, with that kind of desperation and pain.
“I-it’s ok Tommy, I’ll talk to him” you say from partially down the stairs.
Joel stops, heart beat racing at the sound of your voice.
“She-she’s here?”
Tommy nods his head.
“Stay in here and let her come down on her own when she’s ready.”
Tommy heads up the stairs to meet you, he can tell by the way the dim light seeps into the stairway that your already crying.
“Ill be right up here if you need me sweet girl” Tommy whispers as he places a silent kiss on your forehead.
You wait a few beats before you slowly head down into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. Youre so quiet that it seems as though you’ve popped out of thin air when Joel looks up to see you sitting there eyes glued to the floor.
“Birdie?” Joels voice is just above a whisper, but you still hear it.
You pick your head up to look at him but quickly whip your head back down because the tears start as soon as you make eye contact with him.
Joel slowly makes his way to the couch, so quietly it’s as if he might scare you if he moves too quick. His work boots, the same boots he always had come into your life of vision.
“C-can I sit?”
You nod your head yes, still unable to get any words out.
“Birdie its-its so good to see you, I never thought I’d see you again”
“You too Joel” your voice is meek, your trying like hell to keep it together.
You can feel his gaze on you even though you’re not looking at him.
“I wish you would have told me you were leaving, we could have fixed things…. We can still fix things. I just don’t understand”
His emphasis on we can still fix things makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
“We couldn’t talk about things without getting into a screaming match Joel, how were we supposed to fix things?” You say finally letting your eyes meet his, tears rolling down your cheeks.
You flinch away when Joel reaches up to bush the tears away, but a couple of his fingers make contact, smoothing along the curve of your cheek.
“Sorry, force of habit” you mumble when you see his hurt expression at you flinching. Never in all your time with him had you ever flinched away from him.
“I just….I just don’t understand why you left.”
“You didn’t see my note?”
“I did I just….I would of done anything to figure things out. I would of done anything to take care of you”
“You say that now Joel but do you not remember telling me that night during our last fight that you should be taking care of Sarah instead of me, that for the Hundredth time you were upset that I was crying during our argument. Reminding me that I was too sensitive for the state of the world”
“I will never fuckin’ forgive myself for saying stuff like that in the heat of the moment that I never meant.”
“I know and take responsibility for the fact that I was a lot to deal with. I’m not trying to blame you solely for our issues. I know that i spiraled when the outbreak happened. Forcing me to cold turkey not to have therapy, to not have the schedule and consistency that I desperately needed to making it through life day to day. I know that my panic attacks, anxiety and dissociative tendencies where thrown at you all at once when you where trying to navigate the loss of Sarah.”
You pull your gaze back down to your feet before you continue.
“You have no idea how badly I wanted to of had the chance to show you those parts of myself slowly, in a different way. But our relationship was doomed from the start, we’d only been together six months When the outbreak happened. Nothing we could of done to fix anything, we just weren’t meant to be Joel and that’s ok.”
Joel scowls slightly at you. You didn’t mean for your words be be painful but they clearly stung him.
Joel sighs, rubbing his face with both of his callused hands.
“ I loved you. I hope you know that”
“That’s unbeknownst to me Joel”
“You can’t be serious”
“I’m not a fucking mind reader Joel. There are times when I thought you did. But we were together for years…years Joel and you never once told me you loved me. I told you everyday that I loved you. Hell I told you I loved you even on the days where all we did was fight and fuck. The only time I ever heard you say it was.” You stopped your self before you could finish your thought. You didn’t want to go there, to dig up all again.
You should of known Joel wasn’t going up give up so easily.
“The only time you heard it was when?” Joel pressed, eager to know what you had to say.
“ it doesn’t matter Joel, just drop it.”
“No I wanna hear it, I wanna figure this out”
“Please Joel just drop it, it’s not going to do anyone any good bringing all this up again. it doesn’t matter”
Joel sits back a little bit folding his arms over is chest. “ please just continue I want to hear it”
“ Fucking a Joel FINE, if you really want to hear it. The only time I ever heard you say I love you to anyone other than Sarah was the night I came home to see you buried deep inside Tess. Hearing you call her baby girl, telling her how much you loved her as you fucked her.”
You’re seething at this point. Burning so hot with anger that you feel like you could just burst into flames. Joel on the other hand looks like he’s just seen a ghost as all the color drains from his face.
“Oh my god…you-you saw that?”
“Of course I saw it Joel, I came home after being out all night looking for you to that”
“That’s why you were weren’t home? You were out looking for me after curfew? You shouldn’t have done that, those places are dangerous, you could of gotten hurt without me there to protect you”
“I shouldn’t of done that? No Joel you shouldn’t of fucked another women in our bed. I’m sorry that I risked myself to search all over the dark and seedy areas of the QZ for you because I was scared to death about the fedra guards catching you and beating the shit out of you when you were likely to drunk to defend yourself”
“I can’t keep having this conversation, it doesn’t matter Joel because in the end you both got what you wanted, Tess got you and you got someone you didn’t have to take care of”
You can feel the panic seeping in as your chest tightens and your heart races. Your desperately trying to breath deeply, trying to calm yourself as the panic spreads throughout your body. Joel notices your having a hard time and moves to wrap you in his arms, to try to comfort you the way he always should have.
“Ple-please don’t fucking touch me Joel, give me room to breath” you breath out as you snap your head up.
Tommy’s there before you in a flash. Running down the stair two to three steps at a time when he hears your breathy tone. The way your voice sounds when a panic attack is coming on, When he knows you need him without you having to express it.
Joel watches how good Tommy is with you with guilt and admiration. Seeing how Tommy’s able to help you through your episode, with the care that he himself should of shown you.
But those feelings are quickly replaced with red hot anger when he notices the matching rings you are both wearing when you bring your hands up to cup over Tommy’s hands as he cradles your face.
“Christ are you two fucking married!” Joel shouts, unable to hold it in.
Tommy feels you tense and whimper under his touch as Joel stands.
“We are, but now is not the time to discuss this” Tommy says in warning as he looks up at Joel, but his hands never leave you as he smooths his thumbs back and fourth on your cheeks to sooth you.
“This is why you stopped messaging me back isn’t it?”
“Enough Joel”
“It is isn’t it? Because you were ashamed to tell me, to admit that you took the one thing I had left away from me”
“Isn’t it?” Joel continues to press, seeing red and really unsure about what he’s even saying at this point.
You let out a strangled whimper, all the yelling and emotions overstimulating you, becoming to much to bare.
“It’s ok baby, don’t listen to him, just focus on my voice. I’ll protect you.. we can get through this” Tommy whispers as he rests his forehead against your head. He knew he wouldn’t take it well, and he was prepared to take all the verbal jabs, all the yelling and anger from Joel. He’s taken it before this time would be no different. All he cared about was shielding you, protecting you the best he could. It’s all he ever cared about was protecting you, keeping you safe. Tommy was terrified how damaging this was going to be for you.
“C’mon Tommy let me hear you say it! You never could stand me having something you didn’t.”
That what the final straw for Tommy.
“Fucking a Joel that’s enough, I said! You’re really going to do this in front of her even though you can tell she’s distressed.”
“I think she should hear it too, because I really have a hard time believing she just left without being persuaded”
Tommy’s standing now, facing Joel and directly in front of you as if he’s acting as a shield trying his hardest to protect you from the blow Joel is about to deal.
“What exactly are you tryin’ to get at Joel?”
“She wouldn’t just go off by herself, she was always by my side, to nervous to wonder around on her own much less leave the fucking QZ without me.”
“Funny, she might of never left you’re side but you ever think about all times you left her fucking side Joel?” Tommy snarls. Tommy feels you gripping his leg from behind him at the sound of him defending you.
“She was fucking fragile, always havin’ those episodes…”
“They’re not just fucking episodes Joel, they’re panic attacks” Tommy cuts Joel off, getting madder by the second. The fact that Joel is talking about you this way, insinuating what he’s insinuating.
“My point is she was fragile, she wasn’t of right mind, there’s no way she would of just decided to leave. You were around all the time, you knew she wasn’t ok and you used that to get her to leave”
Your squeezing tighter on Tommy’s leg.
“Enough Joel! This ends now. Do you even fucking hear yourself?
You let out a strangled guttural noise as you gripped Tommy’s leg to stand up on shaky legs.
Tommy turns giving you his full attention
“Baby it’s ok, dont push yourself. It’s not worth it”
“No I need to say something that he needs to hear” you say pulling away from Tommy, your piercing hazel eyes locked on Joel.
“ Your not the only one in pain Joel, your not the only one that’s hurting, that’s lost a loved one or experienced death. Did you ever even consider what it was like for Tommy to loose Sarah too? Or how going through the outbreak and doing some of the things we’ve all had to do to survive could have brought back horrific memories of his time in the military?”
Joel can’t do anything but stare back at you like a deer in head lights. So you take a deep breath and press on.
“The fact you would even think that Tommy would be capable of using my mental state to manipulate me into leaving you is low Joel, even for you. Like I can’t even fathom that you think he would do that to you and I. I’m going to make something very fucking clear to, I’m the one that asked him to join the fireflies. I’m the one that showed up at his door that early morning after seeing you and Tess because I needed to get away and I had no other options. Because if I’m being honest I wouldn’t have lived much longer if I stayed at the QZ.”
Joel arches his eyebrow in a concerned manner “wh-what do you mean you wouldn’t of lived much longer?”
Taking a ragged breath in as the tears begin to cascade down your cheeks you reply.
“I-I I didn’t want to live anymore. I was being suffocated by life, everyday the weight on my chest got heavier and heavier. Somedays it was nearly impossible to breath. I didn’t even feel like I was in my fucking body anymore. So i made the decision to leave on my own because I was fragile, because I didn’t want to die but I wouldn’t of survived feeling like that. To hear you admit you knew how fragile I was, how off I was is a special kind of hell thats going to take me along time to heal from.”
“Birdie…. It hurts me so much that I hurt you so badly” Joel moves forward to try to embrace you , to comfort you but you pull away from him.
“I always felt so small and weak compared to you. All I ever wanted was a fraction of the love and support I gave you in return. For someone to tell me it was ok, that I’d get through it. Just someone to fucking be there for me. The love between Tommy and I came slow. I agonized for 2 years about leaving, feeling selfish for not being there to care for you. But I had to think about taking care of myself.” You said before running up the stairs into the dark abyss of your room.
“ I hope your fucking happy with the damage you caused with what ever kind of point you were trying to make. I suggest you get the fuck out of this house before you cause anymore trauma for her, because I can guarantee you she will be reeling from this for a long time.”
“Tommy please I…”
“ I’m not messing around Joel get the fuck out. I need to go check on her and make sure she’s ok and I’m sure as hell not going to continue to fucking go there with you tonight” Tommy shouts as he slams the door.
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shayyprasad · 1 month
Text
for a lunch break, i take you | peter parker
this post is a part of a series called "but you're the one i want"! click here to read parts one and two!
ask to be added to the taglist, and check out my full masterlist here...
reblog, like, and comment <3
summary: summary: you've fallen in love with peter, and the worst part? you can't. not when you know you must be with someone else.
warning: flirting, maybe cursing, teeny bit of angst/sad petey for a second (lemme know if i missed any)
pairing: peter parker x fem!reader (this is in 3rd person!)
word count: 1.1k+ words
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peter
they walked the streets together, in a silence that was comforting enough. but peter decided that he would rather use this time to talk to her.
he was still mentally fussing over the platonic flirting. if y/n got to do that, he should be able to do that too, right? and peter totally would, was it not for the fact that he didn't know how to flirt. well, he used to with gwen a little, but after she died, he kinda lost his game.
and if he wanted y/n/n to like him, he would need to find that game.
then another thing popped in his head.
what if she was friend zoning peter so that she could pursue her romance with spider-man? that brought a grin to his face… because if not anything, at least she liked him in one way or another.
"whatcha giggling about over there?"
"i don't giggle. my laugh is actually very manly."
"uh-huh. i'm sure, darling."
and then, out of literally nowhere, this newfound confidence appeared.
"so, y/n/n, what do you think about spider-man?" he paused, waiting for an answer. "you know, since you write about him a lot, i'm guessing," peter added, trying to not look suspicious.
"i- uh, he's, um..."
he smirked.
caught you.
she was a bright, bright red. at least peter knew that he did have a chance as spider-man. but for some reason, that really killed his self-confidence.
the only way he can get a girl is by being spider-man. a superhero. but spider-man isn't who he is. he's peter. a dorky dude that skateboards and takes photos.
spider-man is only there to protect his identity. he wants to be able to get people to like him by being himself. by being peter. of course, everyone likes spider-man. why can't they like peter the same way?
i guess i'll make an exception just this once.
"so, what about him?" pete pressed.
"he's, uh, cool. i guess. bearable enough."
"oh?"
"yeah."
"me personally, i would love to meet him. he's pretty good at what does."
"what he does?" she squeaked out.
"don't you think?"
"...how would i know?"
now who's got the upper hand?
"oh, well, would you look at that? we're here!" she exclaimed, straining her voice.
the parker boy/man/spider/thing hummed in amusement, "actually, i think i've been here before."
y/n smiled, pushing the door open for her and peter. they walked inside and picked a table for two.
"hey, how can i help y-"
"hi cindy," y/n smiled. jeez, peter loved that smile.
"what can i get for you? it's on the house."
"um, one coffee and a turkey sandwich for me. what about you, darling?"
"just a coffee with a ham and cheese sandwich."
"so, y/n/n," cindy started. "this your boyfriend? like, how could you not tell me?"
"slipped my mind."
"she's kidding," peter chuckled, "just friends." those words pained him more than he thought they would.
"yeah? seem extra friendly for just friends."
"she insists on the pet name."
y/n/n grinned.
"well, i'll get that to you right away."
"i told you people would think we're dating!" peter whisper-yelled when cindy walked away.
she just shrugged. "it's fun, isn't it?"
"trolling people? is that some pastime i don't know about?"
"i dunno. gotta find entertainment somehow, right peter?"
he sighed.
she grinned, finding enjoyment in this, "you know, you aren't the worst person to be around."
he rolled his eyes playfully. "yeah, you've mentioned that."
"yeah, yeah. making sure you knew. this is what they call good communication."
they spent most of the time going back in forth with witty banter and occasional burns until their food came.
"enjoy, lovebirds!" cindy chirped.
peter noticed how y/n/n didn't make anything of the comment, and that made his insides burst.
oh jeez, he really liked her. maybe even loved her, which was crazy considering that they had only met a couple days ago. peter just found her to be so... special. she was different and her happy energy was almost contagious. her smile could light up a room.
y/n was like a shot of expresso bathed in sunlight, he decided.
currently, she was rambling on about her favorite book and something to do with how unrequited love is one thing, and your lover dying was another. i.e. the fault in our stars. she just went on about which was worse and why. he wasn't really paying attention, peter was gazing at her with a lovesick smile on his face, admiring every part of her.
"what do you think, peter?"
"uh, absolutely."
"yeah, that didn't really answer the question," she noted as she finished up her food. he was just about done, too.
"the question was; which is worse? unrequited love or having the absolute love of your life dying?"
this was a little hard to answer for him. the time he lost gwen were the darkest days of his life.
"having the absolute love of your life dying," he said after a moment, "y/n/n, unrequited love isn't that tragic. it's actually quite beautiful when you think about it. sure, it may be painful to know that they don't feel the same. but think about it, someone loving you knowing that you won't return the feelings? that’s commitment. that's sweet. that's true love."
"woah. i honestly had no clue you were that wise." she pushed her chair back and got up, watching as peter did the same.
"yeah. i guess there's a lot you don't know."
"well, parker, i'll just have to uncover all your mysteries," she said to him. "bye cindy! love you!"
"bye, y/n, peter."
he held the door open for her, and she walked out.
"you know, having the love of your life die is really hard, because i would have had it to be unrequited love if i could, if that would have saved her," he whispered solemnly.
"what do you mean?"
he shrugged, flaming red. that was not supposed to come out. damn you, y/n, he thought. peter just completely let loose around her, and it was normally a good thing. y’know, aside from when he blurted out too much. he just wanted this conversation to be done with.
"my girlfriend- er, ex-girlfriend died a couple years ago. whole spider-man fiasco.” he watched you carefully, waiting to gauge y/n’s  reaction. she seemed as if she was thinking, so he added, “clock tower.”
"oh! i think i read about that, gwen stacy? i had no idea you two were... i'm so sorry, peter."
"it's okay. i’ve moved on," he smiled.
y/n/n wrapped her arms around him, giving him a comforting hug.
she gives great hugs.
it caught him slightly off guard, but he returned the gesture. the two of them stayed like that, at least for a couple minutes right in front of the café, unbeknownst to the pair that cindy was smiling at them.
taglist: @whatsupstark @ell0ra-br3kk3r @idli-dosa @susvale @kdbsr-h
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i will
 Summary: You’ve been dealing with some serious shit and Bakugo does his best to help you through it. (feat. bonus Kirishima!)
cw: angst, reader is emotionally distraught and has a good cry, bakugo isn’t the best at comfort but he’s trying, kirishima (kinda?) makes an appearance
                                                     .⋆。⋆☂˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆.
You pull the door shut behind you, sliding down to the floor before it can click. A choked sob falls past your lips. Now that you’re alone you don’t bother to stifle your noises; you bawl unabashedly into the empty air of your apartment.
Well at least you’d thought the apartment was empty. Heavy footsteps thud down the hallway after the first wail. Katsuki rounds the corner with uncharacteristic worry written all over his face.
 At the sight of your beloved you startle, hands flying to cover your tears. He’s having none of that, dropping down beside you, tugging your arms away. “Hey, hey, hey none of that! What’s wrong, huh? What happened?”
 There’s no point in trying to deflect with Katsuki and you know it. It’s not easy to speak through the tears at first, but once you get through those first words it all comes pouring out like a busted floodgate. Sniveling, fists gripping onto his shirt for dear life, you let out all the things you’ve been bottling up this week. All the fake smiles, people’s stupid bullshit, every time you’ve had to tell the lie “I’m fine!” or whisper to yourself that you’ve “just gotta make through one more day”--all of it.
 Katsuki is silent throughout your rant, offering his support with gentle kisses to your head and the arms that hold you tight to his chest.
When your finally spent he carefully pulls you upright and leads you to the leaving room. He wraps a blanket around your shoulders and guides you to sit on the couch with a quiet “be right back.”
Speed-walking to the kitchen, he whips out his phone. Panicked fingers type a quick text to Kirishima:
 kiri my babys cryin n really upset rn what the FUCK do i say????
While waiting for his friend’s response he gets out a towel and runs it under cool water. He may not be able to think of the words that will fix this but he can at least get you cleaned up.
 There’s a ping! as he wrings out the towel. Katsuki wipes his hand on his shirt--he can worry about changing later--and opens his messages.
 shittyhair:
> oh no!!! try some pos affirmations like ‘itll be okay’ + ‘im right here’ + ‘ur safe w me’
> if that doesn’t work u can nvr go wrong w comfy movies + cuddles!!
With Kirishima’s advice he returns to you a little more confident. Tenderly wiping the mess off you nose and cheeks he mumbles “It’s gonna be okay, understand? I’m right here.”
 The words fall clumsily off his tongue. He can’t help but blush, embarrassed by the stiffness in his voice. It just doesn’t come naturally to him, this softness, but for you he’s more than willing to make a fool of himself.
 And for all his worry, you respond well to his sweet nothings, leaning into his touch and letting your eyes flutter closed. Circling his arms around your shoulders he repeats the affirmations like a prayer; “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. I’m right here, you’re safe with me.”
 Somewhere along the line your breathing evens out. Katsuki continues his mantra of “It’s okay”s, as if they will somehow seep though your sleeping head and into your dreams.
 Carefully, slowly, he shifts so that he’s laying down flat with you snuggled up on top. As he readjusts the blanket he sighs against the crown of your head.
 “See? What’d I tell you? It’s all gonna be alright. We’re gonna get through this. One way or another.”
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ichorai · 2 years
Text
almost (sweet music) ; robin buckley.
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track two of WASTELAND, BABY!
pairing ; robin buckley x harrington!f!reader
synopsis ; five instances robin fell in love with you just a bit more.
words ; 3.7k
themes ; fluff, mild angst
warnings / includes ; profanity, reader is steve's sister, mild season four spoilers, brief description of injury, one kiss (!!!), lots of seventies/eighties movies, eddie LIVES bcs fuck the suffer bros, steve being annoying but we love him, it's a gay mess in there folks :D two awkward lovesick lesbians <3
main masterlist.
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“Back again, nerd?” your brother called out from behind the counter of Home Video, cocking an eyebrow at you as he splayed his palms over the smooth surface. His elbow knocked against the metal rack of snacks just to the side, brightly-colored boxes of Raisinets and Goobers toppling to the ground. 
Barely holding back a snort, you stuck your tongue out at him. “I’m not helping you pick those up. And I’m not here for you. I finished Footloose, so I’m in the mood for something a bit more on the darker side.”
Steve glared at you as he shuffled around the counter, grumpily picking up the boxes from the floor. “Over there,” he bit out, dumping the Raisinets back on the counter with a derisive huff before using his head to beckon towards the back of the store. “Horrors and thrillers are near the back. Robin’s doing inventory, go ask her what’s available.”
Your heart seemed to crawl into your throat at his words, and you managed a tight nod, swiveling on your heel to make your way to the back.
The store was dimly lit with few overhead lights the color of molten honey, accompanied by the neon red signs littered around the store. Your teeth worried on your bottom lip upon seeing the back of Robin’s head pop up from an aisle over.
“Hey Robin,” you said, which startled a small noise of shock out of her. Her head whipped around, eyes blown wide open. 
“Oh my God, you scared the crap outta me!” she spoke over the shelf of films. “You really know how to sneak up on a person, huh?” 
A wince fell from your lips. “Sorry. Steve told me you could fix me up with a couple watches. Anything with horror or action would be great.”
“Yeah, for sure. We’ve got Terminator, The Exorcist, Scarface, Star Wars, Jaws, Mad Max, Nightmare on Elm Street… any of those seem interesting? I personally recommend the last one if you’re in for a good spook. Plus Nancy Thompson in that movie is super—” She abruptly paused in her words, staring at you with owlish eyes. 
You tilted your head. “Super…?”
Scratching the back of her neck, she slowly winced out, “Super, uh, cool. Love her character.” She fumbled for a moment on her side before handing the movie’s sleeve to you over the aisle. 
A gentle smile graced the corner of your lips as you observed the cover art. “I’ll let you know what I think.”
“Yeah!” she blurted out, a bit louder than she meant to be. Rouge dusted over the freckles on her cheeks. She started walking around the aisle to make her way over to you, another movie clutched between her fingers. Before she could even think to stop herself, the words were already tumbling from her mouth, “I mean it doesn’t have much action or horror but one of my favorites is this one called E.T. You should totally watch it, one of my all-time favorites now. I know it seems absurd, your brother tells me I’m a lunatic, but I believe UFOs a hundred percent exist. The universe is just so big, you know? There’s gotta be aliens somewhere out there. Now, I’m not completely bonkers, I don’t believe in stuff like the Jersey Devil—though I’m on the fence with Bigfoot. Big hairy ape-like creatures living in the mountains doesn’t seem too absurd, right? Oh God, I’m talking too much. Am I talking too much? I should shut up. God, this is so embarrassing. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m saying all this.”
You stood there, smile just about permanently etched into your lips as you listened to her endearing rambles. “No, no, it’s nice,” you said quietly, a stark juxtaposition to her lively chatter. “I like hearing you talk. It’s very insightful.”
The genuine surprise that flooded Robin’s features made your heart break just slightly. How many times has she been told to be quiet and keep her thoughts to herself? You gently took the second movie from her, your fingertips grazing her own.
A quiet, awkward silence filled the space between you, and you scuffed your shoe against the wooden floors before jerking your head to Steve trying to balance a pencil between his nose and mouth. “Thanks for the recommendations, Robin. I’m sure I’ll love them. Make sure my brother doesn’t torture some poor girl into going on a date with him.”
A chuckle bubbled in her throat. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure he’s hit a decade-long dry spell—and believe me, celibacy makes him very cranky. I can assure you, that is not fun to deal with.” Robin paused for a moment when you started cracking up with laughter, her stomach squirming with glee. “See you later! Or, maybe not. I hope I do. But if I don’t, that’s fine too, I—I’m doing it again. Shit.”
You wrinkled your nose in amusement, and Robin felt like she was going to spontaneously combust into flames. Did you have to be so cute? 
“I’ll definitely be back sometime soon. See you later!” you said before turning on your heel. Pausing at the end of the aisle, you looked over your shoulder one last time. “Oh, and, for the record, I think you’re right. Our universe is way too big for there not to be any aliens.”
With that, you strode out of the store, flipping Steve the middle finger and high-fiving Dustin who was just making his way inside. 
Robin’s feet were planted to the same spot, her eyes fixated on nothing in particular as she replayed your conversation in her head over and over again. A silly smile had plastered itself over her mouth. 
Shit. This wasn’t good. She wasn’t into her best friend’s sibling, was she? No, that was just absurd. 
You did have a really pretty smile, though.
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The Harrington’s doorbell trilled faintly when Robin pressed her finger on the round button. Not even a full second passed by before she pushed on it twice more, tapping her foot against the welcome mat with impatience. Absent-mindedly, she tucked a strand of her short, mousy hair behind her ear—it’d recently been trimmed; partially due to the heat of summer approaching, and partially because Robin knew she’d get back into the nervous habit of chewing on her hair if it got too long.
Finally, the door swung open.
But it wasn’t Steve who greeted her, it was you.
You, with that curious smile Robin had grown so fond of. You, with your multi-hued checkered button down that was far too large for you. You, with a birthmark she’d never noticed before just beside the corner of your eye that Robin wanted to kiss so very badly—
“Hi, Robin,” you said, effectively snapping her out of her reverie. “Are you here for my brother?”
It took her a good second to swallow down the lump in her throat and croak out, “Yeah! Yeah, is he here? See, we’re supposed to go to the arcade today but he told me the arcade isn’t a fun place to hang out anymore, which he only says because I absolutely demolish him in every game we play. So, I’m not so sure, we might be going somewhere else. I’m running my mouth again, aren’t I?”
“It’s fine,” you waved her off with an easy shrug before she could apologize. “I finished Nightmare on Elm Street, by the way. It was really fun! And you were right, Nancy Thompson is super cool in this one. The actress is gorgeous.”
You felt a sudden scuff on your shoulder, Steve’s face appearing only inches away from yours, twisted into a sneer. “Who’s gorgeous? Me?”
“Get off me,” you barked lowly, shoving him away with a palm flat against his cheek. “And none of your business.”
Steve reached over to muss your hair, and you fruitlessly attempted to duck out of his reach, but his damned long arms managed to twist you over and rub his fist over the crown of your head. “Stop, you’re such an ass!” you hissed out, grabbing his thumb to bite down on it. 
Robin watched with amusement as Steve yowled out a string of profanities, jumping back and wiping his finger down his jacket. He glanced over at her before saying, “You know, Y/N has a bunch of posters of actresses she likes. One of Jessica Lange, another of… Jennifer Beals, was it? Oh, and one of Carrie Fisher in that Star Wars movie! In a bikini.”
Eyebrows raised in surprise, Robin swiveled her gaze to you just in time to see your scowl deepen, fist colliding with Steve’s bicep with a satisfying smack. “Shut up, you dickhead! Oh my God!” 
You threw your hands up in exasperation, briefly shooting Robin an apologetic look before swiveling on your heel and storming away.
“Bye, Y/N!” Robin called over Steve’s cackling shoulder. “That was uncalled for,” she said to her friend, who had righted himself whilst swinging the car keys around his pointer finger. “Great taste in actresses, though.”
Mirth danced in Steve’s eyes. He unlocked his car, clambering into the driver’s seat. “You have my approval, by the way,” he commented as soon as Robin swung in. 
The brunette quirked an eyebrow upwards with confusion. “Huh? Approval for what?”
Steve snorted. “If you wanna date Y/N, you have my approval. I say go for it.”
Uncharacteristically, Robin stayed quiet, her mind moving a million miles a minute. If Steve looked over, he probably would’ve seen steam coming out of her ears.
“It’s clear she’s into boobies, too.”
Robin’s heart lurched into her throat. Hollowing her cheeks for a moment, she leaned back into the carseat and shot him a half-hearted glare.
“God, Steve, don’t say boobies!”
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A gush of cold air from inside Family Video greeted you as you pushed open the glass door, sheepishly grinning when Robin’s head snapped upwards, a surprised grin flourishing over her face.
“Hey, Y/N! How may I assist you on this fine day?” 
You leaned over the counter and slid E.T. towards her. For a second, Robin seemed mortified, carefully studying your expression for any sign of aversion to the film.
“I liked it,” you reassured her, smoothing your hands down your shirt, exhaling a shallow breath. Damn it, you couldn’t remember the last time you were this nervous. “I was hoping you could recommend something similar! Turns out I’m more into sci-fi than I thought. I never really explored the genre outside of Star Wars, to be honest.”
“Of course!” Robin twisted to snatch a long sheet of laminated paper. “This is a catalogue of all the films we got in here. Pretty stacked—listed in alphabetical order, and the genres are color-coded. Blue for science fiction… right there. I mean, I’d personally recommend Westworld and Alien. Those are classics you can’t miss out on.”
The way your eyes widened as you peered over the list, accompanied by your slightly-parted lips and your nearly intoxicating citrus-scented perfume made Robin’s head spin in the best of ways. Subconsciously, she leaned over closer, the sleeve of her striped tee brushing your arm. 
“I’ve heard Westworld is really good,” you said, looking upwards, mildly surprised to see Robin’s face only inches away from yours. Blinking, you managed a nervous smile before continuing, “Would you, uhm, be willing to rewatch it?”
Robin’s eyebrows inched closer to her hairline in thought. “Westworld? Yeah, I haven’t watched it in a long while. Would be nice to revisit.” 
“Sorry, let me rephrase.” You internally cursed when your voice cracked, and you straightened your spine before stiffly asking, “Would you be willing to rewatch it… with me?”
It took around ten seconds for Robin’s malfunctioning brain to piece together the implications of your original question and it dawned on her that you were asking her out. You were asking her out.
Holy fucking shit.
“Yes!” she blurted out, leaning even closer in her fervor. This close, she could see the tint of your shiny lip gloss, the roiling hues of your eyes, the small, faded scar on the side of your jaw. You were whittled from pure angel’s light, she was nearly sure of it—clementine in aroma, tangerine in joy, marigold in joy. Robin wanted all of you.
The softest of beams canvased itself across your visage. “Perfect. How does this weekend at my place sound?”
“Perfect,” Robin breathily parroted. God, she wanted to kiss you so very badly. “Even if I had plans, I’d cancel ‘em just for this. There’s no way I’m missing out on rewatching Westworld. Nothing like gun-slinging robot cowboys to kick off the weekend. What should I bring?”
You puckered your lips to the side in thought. “Just you,” you said after a short moment, so quiet that it just barely bordered on whispering. 
Her mouth twitched upwards in amusement, mirth dancing amongst the sapphire of her bright irises. “That, I can do.”
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“So remind me what we’re making again?” Robin asked as she pushed the cart along.
Your fingers skimmed along the shelves, muttering the labels under your breath until you abruptly stopped. “Molotov cocktails. They’re easy to make, and can do a lot of damage in a short amount of time—let’s just hope Vecna isn’t fireproof. Here, we’re gonna need around four of these jugs of kerosene. Actually, make it five. A little extra won’t hurt.”
Robin helped you load the cart, her eyes trained on you as you pulled out a crumpled list of ingredients from your pocket. “So what’s all this kerosene for?”
“It’s highly flammable—so we’re filling up as many fragile bottles as we can and sticking rags into ‘em to light up when the time comes. Gotta be careful with this stuff though, if it gets too hot, it might just catch on fire and our supply would dry out.”
 “Right,” Robin piped up, following after you with a dazed smile. “You’re really smart, you know that?”
For a second, you froze in place, heat flourishing over your cheeks. “Thanks,” you grunted out, pointedly avoiding her gaze so she wouldn’t see your evidently flustered features.
The two of you left the store hurriedly once Nancy spotted Jason by the gun rack. Nearly half an hour later, you were outside the RV with your brother and Robin, filling the umpteenth bottle with kerosene. Your nerves were practically alight on fire, anxiety clawing away at your insides at the prospect of coming face to face with Vecna—but you managed not to break down into a panicked mess. It was the last thing any of you needed right now.
“I gotta go take a leak,” Steve announced unceremoniously as he hefted himself onto his feet, glancing down at the two of you. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
As he trudged away, you could feel Robin’s eyes shift back onto you. “Y’know, I usually consider myself to be more of a glass half-full kind of person. But…” she bit down on her tongue, forcing her gaze away when you quirked an eyebrow at her.
“But…?”
“I don’t know, I just… I don’t know if we’re going to make it out of this one.”
You tightly pursed your lips at her words, setting down an almost-empty jug of kerosene onto the grass. Boldly, you moved your hands to shift on top of Robin’s knuckles, your thumbs stroking comforting circles into her skin.
“Look, I’m not very good at comforting people—that’s honestly more of Steve’s thing, so bear with me here. Even if this is gonna be the end of the world… I’m glad I’m gonna be by your side when it happens. Besides,” you added, shrugging just slightly with a mild smile twitching at the corner of your mouth, “I always imagined the end of the world to include an alien invasion of some sorts so… I guess this is something of an upgrade.”
An amused snort erupted from Robin and she tossed her head back to laugh full-bellied chuckles. You slipped your hands away from hers so you could get back to work. “It’s a shame we never got around to watching Westworld. A lot’s happened since then, huh? Feels like that was years ago.”
A twinge of sadness splayed over your chest. “Yeah,” you breathed out.
“Would’ve loved to go to England or something before I died,” she hummed absentmindedly as she grabbed another rag to stuff into the glass bottle. “Maybe Greece. Oh, Japan! There’s so many places I’d love to visit. What about you? Do you have any dream destinations?”
“I’d love to go to New Zealand,” you postulated, unscrewing the cap of another kerosene jug.
“Yeah?” asked Robin with a curious lilt to her tone.
You bobbed your head once. “Yeah. It’s quiet there… tucked away at the corner of the world. Away from everything. Gorgeous scenery, too.”
“That does sound nice,” she said, chewing on her bottom lip in thought. “Don’t think I’d have any money for those trips though—at least not if I decide to keep working at Home Video for the rest of my life.”
“I like that you work there,” you put forth without thinking. “Movies made a good reason for me to come and talk to you.”
The grin that flourished over her lips made your stomach turn over with nerves. “You know, in the beginning, I thought you hated me. You’d never talk to me whenever I came over.”
“I was intimidated,” you admitted, wrinkling your nose at the memory. “You were a pretty girl that was friends with Steve. I think I just assumed the worst.”
“Your brother’s a good friend.” She took extra care to emphasize that last word. “But you? Unclear. I mean, it’s totally okay for it to be unclear right now. Besides, it’s not really the time to—”
“It doesn’t have to be unclear,” you interrupted a second too quickly, before wincing at your initial vigor. 
Surprise painted itself crimson over the freckled canvas of her face. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you murmured, sending her a shy smile.
Robin could only beam back dopily, muttering out a dazed, “Cool. Cool, cool, cool,” beneath her breath. Then, she tacked on, “I really, really like you. If that wasn’t clear yet.”
 Before you could vocalize your reciprocation, Steve rounded the corner of the RV, throwing his hands up into the air and exclaiming in exasperation, “Finally! Took the two of you long enough. Jesus, I thought I’d have to lock you guys in a room together or something.”
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Hawkins High was transformed into a makeshift shelter after the ‘earthquake’ that Vecna caused. You were hunched over on a medical stretcher, head throbbing from the healing gash on the side of your head. The memory of dried crimson caking the expanse of your cheek lingered in the back of your mind—you had used an alcohol wipe to gently clean the wound, tears stinging the corner of your eyes from the burn. There was also a temporary brace fixed over your badly sprained ankle—an injury you acquired when hacking away at the tentacle-like vines suffocating you and your friends.
Despite your battered state, you still tried helping out, sorting through a couple boxes of clothes beside your brother, who wore an expression of clear concern, constantly mother-henning you into taking a break when that was the very last thing you wanted. 
“Okay, okay, you can sort through these,” Steve relented, rolling his eyes with an exasperated huff. “But you stay sitting. You hear me?”
“Fine!” you snapped back, before biting down on your tongue and shaking your head. “Thanks, Steve.”
Your older brother shot you an indiscernible look, before bending down at the waist and planting a firm kiss onto the top of your head, mussing your hair slightly when he righted himself back up.
The sound of Robin’s voice appearing by your side made a startled noise fall from your throat. “Hey, guys!”
“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” Steve asked, using his head to beckon to the empty food station.
Faint pink canvassed over Robin’s freckled cheeks. “Yeah, I’m just taking a five minute break—I’ve made enough PB and J sandwiches to last a lifetime. Maybe you should go on a break, too.” She glared at him pointedly, clearing her throat whilst using her eyes to gesture to Dustin and Eddie at the other end of the school gym.
Steve wrinkled his nose. “Just say you want to be alone with my sister and go! Jeez, you don’t need to be so cryptic.” The two of you snickered as he grumbled under his breath, folding up the last in his box before clapping Robin on the shoulder and heading off to Dustin, who beckoned him over with a wide grin.
“You alright?” Robin asked, voice suddenly far more tender, gazing across your tired features with a tender expression. “How’s the foot? And the head? Man, you really… really took a beating there, huh? I have to admit, I was genuinely scared that was the last time I’d see you.”
 “I’m okay, I think,” you admitted, shifting slightly so she could sit beside you on the edge of the bleachers with a pained grunt. Robin took a seat, her arm pressed right against yours. She was warm, so very warm, and your sleepy eyes grew hooded with exhaust. “Considering we all almost died.”
A comfortable silence stretched over the two of you, a blanket of security and trust, unspoken feelings.
“I never got to say it,” you mumbled drowsily, the uninjured side of your head dropping to rest onto her shoulder. Robin’s arm went around your back, clutching you to her side with a pleasant hum. She couldn’t help but notice just how nicely you fit against her. “I really, really like you, too.”
Your head lifted just for a moment to get a good look at her expression, which had gotten considerably softer, her bright eyes flickering down to glance at your lips for a moment. You dipped your head once as if to give her the green light—that you wanted her to kiss you.
And she did.
The kiss wasn’t like how they described kisses to be in the movies. There were no fireworks, no explosive passion, no feverish desperation. Only bumping noses and gentle smiles. And it was utterly perfect.
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lokisprettygirl · 1 year
Text
Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)
Read chapter 3 here // Series Masterlist
Chapter 4
Summary : Disastrous Dinner with your parents leads to a small quarrel between you two.
Warning: Smoking, mention of recreational drug use, insecurities, a bit of angst, not so great parenting , 4.5 k words
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After your mom left you immediately took a shower to cool down a little bit, it was 10 am and you had plenty of time to prepare for the evening.
He went to the bathroom after you and when he came out you could feel him staring at you but he wasn't saying anything.
"What?" You looked at him so he averted his gaze and pretended to read his book. "Gotta call my boss, i don't think I can go to work today"
You mumbled as you dialed the manager's number and put it on speaker phone because you wanted to paint your toenails.
"Hiii Mark it's y/n" you said cheerfully and you heard him grumbling in response. Just great
"I just ..uhh wanted to tell you that I won't be able to make it today, sooo"
"Whyyyyy?"
"Uhhh it's a family emergency"
"You can't just take a leave out of nowhere, you have to inform way beforehand, " he said, clearly sounding upset. Did he understand the meaning of emergency? Doofus
"Yeah I would have but it's umm I don't think you heard me right. I said that my family's car was hit by a bulldozer and some of them were still in it. And now they're in an emergency ward so I have to go see them..see you tomorrow byee" you tapped on your head in frustration as you hung up "Argggghh I hate this day already"
Also, why did you have to keep the phone on the speaker?
"So your mother seem ..a bit ahhh –" you found him to struggling to form a complete sentence which wasn't like him at all.
"Overbearing?"
"That. Yes. That"
"She is like that, but she means well"
His brows furrowed as you said that. He was finding it a tad harder to believe.
"Okay, we need to make a man, asap" you said to him as you tightly closed the bottle of the nail paint after you were done using it. He laughed in response because he thought you were joking.
"Darling, I promise it can not be Asap. I mean it would take months for him to grow in your womb before he's birthed and–" he stopped talking as you gave him the look that he had learned to understand as a sign for Stop right now. You sighed as you stood up and went down on your knees in front of him, you placed your hands on his thighs and the position made him gulp.
"I want you to be my boyfriend" his eyes flickered as you said that.
"Ohhhhh?"
"Just for the evening" you clarified it immediately. God you hoped he didn't think of you as some midgardian desperate creep.
"Oh"
"Will you do it for me please?"
"I uhhh–"
"Pleaseee please do it .. please I'm begging you Loki please I'll do anything you'd ask please " you joined your palms together and begged him to just help you out. You didn't really have to beg he thought, you saved his arse, he would walk right into the sun if you'd ask him to.
"I just..never have been a boyfriend before "
"You said you had relationships "
"What is the correlation here?"
"Huh?" He sighed as you failed to understand him.
"I just don't want to ruin this evening which I am sensing- is already a very stressful affair for you" he mumbled as he placed his elbows down on his thighs to rest his chin in the palms of his hand.
"You won't ruin it, oh no please. I'd love to have a friend while we eat dinner..a friend who actually likes me..you know" your eyes teared up so he cupped your cheeks and leaned forward to press a soft kiss on your forehead. That gesture made you feel so warm but you wished you had more time to relish in this feeling.
"I am very fond of you my darling" he mumbled softly. The words made the butterflies go crazy in your stomach. Okay so you were attracted to him which you had already figured by the intense feeling you kept having where you wanted to fuck him all the time, there was the bubbling scorching heat between you two and you also wanted to cuddle him all the time now, all of these things combined together looked bad when you considered how he was literally unattainable. A fucking prince, he was a god that you couldn't even dream of having. He probably wouldn't even look twice at you if you were in a crowded room full of all the beautiful women in the world, women that he probably deserved to have.
Everyone kept telling you that you had higher standards for yourself but then he must have them too right? You weren't it unfortunately.
"Is that a yes?"
"Yess" you stood up and jumped around a little in excitement.
"Oh wait butt oh no.. they can't see you..my mom will recognise you, she's obsessed with you..but in a very bad way"
"She is?"
"Yeah she hates you "
"I figured that..umm do not worry about that. I'll take care of this" he pointed towards his face so you went down on your knees again. You had to stop doing this in front of him because one of these times he'd forget to enchant his cock to not get hard in a jiffy.
"But .. I don't want anyone else there, I want you, I mean. I like this face..it's such a loki looking face that I like" he chuckled as you said that. Sometimes your words hardly made any sense and that's exactly why he adored them so much.
"How about I change my hair and the color of my eyes, maybe get a bit of facial hair, the face stays" you tilted your head as he said that.
"That could work besides there's no way she'd think that you're him with all those modifications you know..oh that's a great idea. Well I'm going to cook now..by the way can I paint your toenails afterwards? You have such pretty toes" you got up from the floor again so he looked down at his feet.
"Noooo" he yelled, making you giggle but now another thing was starting to bother you.
"Wait a second!! You don't have clothes, I need to get you earth people clothes"
"Yes I was troubled by that thought" He did have a suit he had stolen from a midgardian shop when he visited Thor a few years prior after he was banished but for some reason the idea of putting it on again disgusted him. And he couldn't have worn his famous Terrorist from Asgard terrorising Stuttgart overcoat either for obvious reasons.
"Oh no I have to go get it for you then ..it's 11 already and I have to make dinner, and dessert also and oh my god it's so dirty around here, what I'm gonna doooo??" he walked towards as you started to freak out again.
"Now let us pause for a moment here. Take a deep breath for me, can you?" He told you as he grabbed your shoulders to calm you down.
"Okayy..okay..i'm just freaking out" you took a deep breath in order to not pass out right this moment.
"You go purchase the attire for me and I will tidy up the space until then. That is alright?" He asked you so you hugged him tightly, his arms instantly wrapped around your waist as if it was the most natural state in the world, breathing in the scent of your hair he sighed deeply.
He really needed to get a grip. A woman like you deserved a man so noble and not a hideous looking frost giant like him whose moral compass has broken a long time ago. You have waited so long for the man of your dreams and he could never be it for you.
"I'll be back soon"
It took you two hours to find something decent for him to wear, you even had to buy a pair of shoes for him, you saw a bunch of cute t-shirts so you bought that as well. You heard the shower running when you came back from the mall, you couldn't even recognise your apartment. It looked beautiful. First of all it was clean, ofcourse. But he had done something with the lighting as well, it seemed fancier, like a classy restaurant, and it smelled really good too. He had also filled the space with a much needed furniture you didn't have.
There was an elegant looking table right in front of the kitchenette. Bonus point? It also had chairs, you had chairs in your apartment.
The bed was covered in a beautiful satin sheet. Asgardian sheet. He also had that sofa all cleaned up, it looked brand new.
You put the shopping bags down on the sofa as your eyes circled around again. When he entered the room you immediately ran towards him to hug him, momentarily forgetting that he was naked from the waist up and dripping wet.
"This is.. gorgeous..you're like a sorcerer" you mumbled as you pulled away from him and took a few steps back, he was freezing cold. He smiled as he walked closer and wiped the droplets of water from your cheeks, the ones you had gotten by hugging onto his naked wet chest so tightly.
"I'm a sorcerer " he giggled and it made your heart grow ten times larger.
"Thank you Loki, you have no idea what you have done for me" your eyes teared up and so did his, but then again you didn't have time to enjoy this moment, they would be here in like three hours, you also had to get ready.
He tried to help you in the kitchen as much as he could but he wasn't really helping plus the heat bothered him a lot so you made him sit down on the sofa, he had done enough already and you were very grateful for that.
After cooking and assembling the cutleries on the table which again was the courtesy of your alien friend, you put on a dress and finished your makeup. You looked good for a change, the black dress complimented your dark soul. It always did.
You looked at him as he got himself dressed too, you didn't want to go overboard with his attire, there was a dark green jacket because you remembered that to be his favorite color, a plain black t shirt underneath with a tight fitted trouser. For some reason you knew he wasn't the denim jeans type of alien god.
His tush looked extremely good in those pants but that's not what shocked you, it was the change in his appearance. He kept his face but his hair was no longer raven, it was light brown and shorter, you could finally see the back of his neck and it was as smooth as the rest of his skin, his eyes were hazel brown, light freckles adorned his nose and cheeks. The finishing touch was the golden tan on his skin and that I haven't shaved in a week stubble. Even though he had the same face he didn't look like himself. He actually reminded you of that guy from that one King Kong movie you couldn't remember the name of.
"This okay? Or do I resemble my oaf brother a little too much" He asked you so you smiled.
"You look very handsome mister" And hot, and sexy, delicious.
A nervous laughter escaped his throat at the compliment.
"And you my lady, you look–-" before he could finish his words you heard the buzzer going off so you hurriedly stepped towards the door and got them in. You felt anxious and awkward like always, having dinner with four people where you didn't really like the three of them was not your idea of fun. As you opened the door you saw your mom and her husband David first so you hugged her and your step father gave you a side hug.
"Welcome to my humble abode" you chuckled as they stepped in, then you met his daughters from hell, his perfect little princesses, the elder one was named Chelsea, she was a year younger than you and married. Ofcourse because she was just perfect like that. You weren't expecting her to bring her husband Shawn though.
"Wow i didn't know husbands were coming" you mumbled as you hugged her and your mom glared at you.
The younger sister Courtney gave you cheek kisses. Pretentious bitch. She was just 25 but obviously more accomplished and much more successful in her career according to your mother.
As they all stepped inside you noticed them looking around, they had never been here before.
"Wow, this is so tiny and adorable, you know when daddy said you were renting a studio apartment i thought it'd be bigger" Courtney said and you resisted the urge to poke her eyes out.
"It's actually bigger than most studio apartments, I'm actually not supposed to have that whole window area, default in their infrastructure, goodie goodie for me" you felt everyone's eyes on you so you stopped talking immediately, turned around and walked towards Loki, you grabbed his arm and decided to introduce him to everyone, most of them looked shocked but atleast your mother was smiling from ear to ear.
"This is uhh.." oh god you didn't think of a name. Ofcourse you didn't. You see Perfect Chelsea over there would have thought of a name.
"Mark, this is Mark Johnson..he's an auditor for the ..uhhh Marks and Spencers" they smiled at him as you introduced him. No, that name didn't sound fake at all. Nope.
"Hello Mrs. Umm –" he looked at your mother. Wow you two really should have discussed this part a little more. Like for real.
"Used to be something else now she's Mrs Jackson" you told him so he gave your mom a hug. She looked at you as she hugged him and mumbled a wow behind his back which made you want to die from embarrassment.
You didn't want to waste much time so you all sat down for dinner. The problem was he only made six chairs, and there were 7 of you. Gee, No thanks husband Shawn.
"You sit down okay?" You made Loki sit down so he grabbed your arm and scooted a little to the side, one of his buttocks was hanging in the air but he didn't care, he didn't want you to feel left out at your own family dinner.
As you sat down next to him, well almost onto him, everyone cooed. It's not as if you weren't getting used to being squished against him.
"So i noticed the accent, are you a London boy Mr. Mark" you wanted to hurl at the way Courtney was looking at him.
"Uhh yes, England" You took a sip of the wine you had in front of you, for the god of lies, he wasn't really good at living up to that status.
"So you're here on business? How did you two meet?" Your mom asked you so this time you answered instead.
"Ohh he's a member at the gym I work for" you smiled.
"Why do I feel like I have seen you somewhere?" Your mom squinted her eyes and it made you nervous.
"Ohh he looks like that guy from that movie.. I don't remember..the one with the big burly ape" you agreed as Shawn said that. Well thanks Shawn
"Ohhhh yeah..yeah you're right"
"So auditing? You like that job, son?" David asked him. Oh!! he's not your son David. No no considering his age, David was the son, his father was the son, his grandfather was the son. Why couldn't you just stop having thoughts for once?
"No. I don't know what that is actually" he chuckled and then you heard them all laughing in unison. You did too before you glared at him,
"Wow, good looking and funny. By the way, raise your glasses everyone.. I have an announcement" Courtney grabbed her glass of wine and took a deep breath before she proceeded to speak.
"I got the job in London..ahhhh" she squealed as she celebrated herself and everyone then squealed for her, she worked for an embassy or something, you never cared to find out. Your mother did remind you now and again as how it could have been you if you'd have been a little sincere about your life.
"Ohh honey congratulations, that's amazing, I'm sooo proud of you" your mom said to her so you smiled in disbelief.
"Okay okay..i have a news too. We have a news" Chelsea said as she smiled from ear to ear and looked at her husband "So I'm not drinking wine because I'm abstaining, I lied sorry.. hint hint" She pointed towards her belly and the whole world gasped for her.
"Call Odin and ask him if he heard the gasps" you mumbled in his ear and he bit on his cheek to stop himself from smiling. She was pregnant ofcourse. They all hugged her and congratulated the lovely couple, so did you, you had no other choice.
"Both of our daughters make me so happy sweetie" David's eyes teared up as he held your mother's hand.
"I am so proud of them"
After the happiness died down a little, Courtney looked at you.
"So y/n you're a trainer at the gym right..don't they like pay very less?"
"It actually depends on my competence and how many clients I can get in a month," you said to her. No you didn't miss the snark, you just wanted to ignore it.
"Oh.. so less huh"
God you hated her.
"Shoot i am out" David said as he opened the box of his cigarettes.
"Oh honey" your mom comforted him and then she glared at you as Courtney made another comment.
"Y/n smokes, just ask her for one dad"
"It was just that one time.."
You tried to defend yourself but your mom cut you off as she shook her head in disappointment.
"Look if you have it, just be a good hostess and give one to him" she said to you so you were about to get up but Loki stopped you.
"I'll get it darling. I found it while cleaning" he said to you so you smiled, as he walked towards the closet you wondered what he meant, what did he find? As he returned he passed the lighter to David along with that fucking joint you couldn't find yesterday.
"Uhhh this is not..is this weed?"
You stood up and snatched it from his hand. Loki felt mortified now, maybe he should have asked first if your stepfather wanted to smoke weed or something else. He really should have thought a little harder about it.
"It's not mine, it's a friend's" you mumbled so your mom looked at you.
"Oh sweetie, are you in the wrong company again?" She questioned and you immediately denied. You felt overwhelmed now, you just wanted to go cry in your bathroom.
"I apologise darling, i had no clue what he wanted" he whispered in your ear so you sighed. He just wanted to help.
"It's fine..it's okay " you told him, you didn't want him to feel bad about this even though you felt completely mortified now.
"So what are your plans for marriage?" The wine came out of your nose as your mom questioned Loki.
"Mommm" you glared at her and gestured to cut it out but ofcourse she ignored the cue.
"I'm just asking, you two make a cute couple..what do you guys think?" She looked around the table for approval.
"Ohhh yess hook him in y/n before you lose this one too" Courtney cackled like a witch. Loki felt awful, these people reminded him of those bilgesnipes, all ready to pounce and attack you for no reason. He felt something grazing over his shin so he looked under the table and saw a bunch of toes rubbing against him. It belonged to one of your sisters.
"She's touching me" he whispered in your ear so you looked under the table and she stopped immediately.
"Marriage is such a beautiful thing, it just makes me sad that y/n is going to be in her thirties now and she's still..so lonely" Chelsea gave you a sad look making you scoff in response.
"But I'm happy.. and I don't really care alright?"
"Well you should care honey, when you're sixty and alone with no-one to take care of you you'll regret this attitude" your eyes teared up as your mother chimed in. You saw your step sisters smiling and passing glances to each other.
"Didn't you marry twice?" Loki asked your mother so you glared at him and asked him to cut it out.
"Excuse me?" Your mom had the typical look of disapproval now. You could just tell she didn't really like him any longer.
"You married her father and it must not have worked very well since you are married to this gentleman here now?" He asked her again so you facepalmed.
"But that's life, that happens, sometimes things don't work out between two people, there are several different reasons why people get divorced" she raised her voice a little and you could feel everything getting out of your hand now.
"Well pardon my interference but perhaps she doesn't want that to happen to her as well, maybe she wants to spend her life with someone who would be there for every reason and not only for a season" your mom gave him a death glare as he said that and so did you. The tension in the room kept on piling up.
He could tell you were upset with him for opening his big mouth today.
After the dinner and dessert ended, you were hoping for them to just leave, you had no energy to take more insults.
"Sooo we are going to be here for two days, let's go somewhere tomorrow" your mom hugged you as she spoke so you hummed in agreement "And lose this one, he's not the type of man who is going to marry you" she said to you as she pulled away.
"Yeah? Why do you think that?" You chuckled but it was because of the frustration you were feeling in the moment.
"Look at him honey. Don't be such a fool, men like him don't settle for women like us, he's just having his fun I can tell" you nodded as she said that. Once they all left you shut the main door with a force and then you turned around to glare at him.
"Y/n i –"
"You could have just kept your mouth shut you know"
"I didn't intend to disrespect her, she just--"
"What were you trying to do then huh? Do you know how hard that divorce was on her? On me?" Your eyes welled up as you questioned him. That comment your mom made was the last nail in the coffin and unfortunately she wasn't here to bear the brunt of it so you took it out on him.
"I am sorry, please don't be upset darling" he mumbled softly but you were too angry to care right now.
"I'm not your darling, giving him the roll of weed wasn't enough for you huh? God I wish you weren't here today, it's all my fault" his eyes filled with tears as you said that. A part of you knew you were misdirecting your anger and frustration on him but you still couldn't stop, you wished you would have though because the look on his face bothered you a lot, you never wanted to see him look so sad and that too because of you.
You scurried towards the bathroom and then the tears couldn't stop coming, your step sisters were younger and better than you and they were living their best lives while nothing turned your life around no matter how much you worked for it, they were accomplishing everything they had dreamt of while several of your dreams had already been shattered, you had successfully wasted half of your life so far and accomplished nothing. Your mother probably wished for a daughter like them and that's why she found love in David again.
When you came out, he looked at you with a worried look on his face, he still had the same clothes on but he was back to looking like himself. Did you really just tell him that you wished he wasn't here after everything he had done for you today? God, you felt like a selfish asshole. No wonder you didn't have anyone in life that you could actually count on.
"Do you want me to disappear?" He asked you and you suddenly felt so anxious.
"No. I'm sorry..I'm so sorry Loki" as you started to sob he walked towards you and hugged you as tightly as he could, that was it for you in that moment, you broke down and cried until you couldn't cry any more.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean it, please don't go, i ..you're the only true friend I have..the best one i have ever had, and you were so good to me today, so sweet and I'm so sorry lo" you pulled away to look at him so he cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead.
"I'm sorry I ruined the feast with my callousness" you smiled as he said that. He wasn't being callous, he just wanted to defend you. What a sweet sweet man.
"Well it's not as if it was going any better before..so I'm not really sorry about it" he kissed your forehead again and you just wanted to kiss him, it took everything to not clash your lips against his in that moment.
"You don't deserve to be treated in such a manner, you went through such pain today to make this enjoyable for them and you don't deserve anyone hurting you like that, none of the things they said hold true whatsoever" he said to you softly.
"You don't either Loki, I'm sorry it was me who hurt you today but I never want to be such a jerk to you again" he smiled at the statement.
"I understand, I have had my fair share of outbursts to comprehend that it didn't come from a place of malice but mere frustration and it wasn't intended for me" he mumbled and it made you smile. God he really was a dreamboat.
"Thank you Loki for everything you did today. You have no idea how much I appreciate you being here for me right now, i really do"
You hugged him again and took a deep breath, his hugs and sweet words really made you feel better than before. He was your friend, you loved having him as your friend. You looked up at him and the look in his eyes made you aware of the close proximity so you stepped away a little, he placed his hands inside the pocket of his pants to avoid the awkwardness but he had something in there so he took it out.
"What is it?"
"Something one of your sisters shoved into the pocket when we greeted each other" he said as he passed the slip to you. It was her phone number. What a bitch.
"Burn it down"
"Yes madam" you smiled as he said that.
"Umm..I'll go sleep, I'm tired" you mumbled as turned around and stepped towards the closet to take your pyjamas out.
"Uhh..What can I do to make you feel better?" he asked you, so you sighed.
"Nothing i– " Well actually "There's something you can do" you gave him a mischievous smile and he sighed as he understood what you wanted from him.
That's how he ended up on the sofa with you sitting on the floor with his feet resting on your thighs while you painted his toenails the same colour as yours.
"So pretty" you giggled as you finished the one leg and it warmed his heart. It was unbearable for him to see that hurt look on your face throughout the evening, knowing that there were people in the world who hurt you like that made his heart clench, he just wanted you to not feel that way like ever. He wanted to keep you protected.
"Maybe tomorrow we can do your makeup" you said nonchalantly making him tilt his head in response.
"How about no?" He responded and you feigned a look of disappointment.
At night he slept in that bed of yours, his sad brows were faster than your resistance today. You couldn't sleep though. You kept wondering if he'd come cuddle you but it has been an hour and he seemed asleep now. Wow this really bothered you, him not cuddling you by force like he had done in the last two days really really bothered you.
You sat up and got off from his princely bed then you took a few steps towards yours, you thought about what you were going to do for a moment. When he cuddled you, it was circumstancial, he had a nightmare the first night and then his body ached the other, you had no choice in that matter, you could have always pretended that you didn't love his cuddles but getting in the bed now would affirm that you indeed enjoyed sleeping with him like that and wanted it as much as he did.
Fuck it your cursed in your head before crawling into the bed. He was asleep but he did feel your body next to him, maybe he'd think that he was dreaming. Goddss he smelled divine.
He was lying on his side facing towards you so you sneaked your hand in the space between his neck and the pillow, he felt the invasion and instead of opening his eyes and calling you out for it he scooted closer to you instead and pressed his head down on your chest like he had done before. One of his arms went under your waist to pull you even closer while the other wrapped around you.
He embraced you as intimately as he could without it turning too sexual, this was the most intimate you had ever been with a man. Sure you had sex but even then you had several inches of distance between your bodies somehow. You hooked your legs around his waist in the usual position.
"Thank you" you mumbled softly in his ears and he hummed in response. You were thankful for him, you had known him for mere few weeks but you had never felt so strongly understood by someone.
"I'm overjoyed that you came. I just figured you needed your personal space tonight, perhaps I was mistaken " you smiled as he mumbled against your chest.
"Perhaps"
You knew it won't take you long enough to fall asleep now, you wondered if this was appropriate or not but you no longer cared for it. You also knew that you were only digging a deeper hole for yourself. Getting addicted to the feeling of cuddling him like this will only hurt you later when he won't be here with you. Your mother wasn't wrong, men like him didn't choose women like you for life but then you knew that already, didn't you?
Nothing so good could ever last forever, nothing so sweet and gentle could ever be wholly yours. Maybe you can press the stop button on this tomorrow but tonight you just wanted to indulge a little. Tonight you just wanted to live a little. Something that you haven't done for as long as you could remember.
🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶
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rottenroyalebooks · 3 months
Text
Love Drunk - 0.3
Pairing: Eddie Munson x older sister!Harrington reader
Also includes: Steve Harrington x sister!reader (siblings)
AU: No Upside Down.
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Summary: Y/N Harrington left Hawkins as soon as she turned eighteen with her boyfriend to follow her dreams of being a Rockstar. Three years later, she returns to Hawkins alone and scarred. Now, she has to repair her broken relationship with her younger brother, all while trying to prevent herself from falling for a cute metal head who plays at the Hideout, where she works.
Warnings: Announced each chapter.
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The hideout was just as busy as I remembered.
Live music, the smell of weed and cigarettes lingering in the air, the bustling of customers and waitstaff, the unknown sticky stubstance that seemed to coat the floor, and Jim's voice hollering at the cooks.
Yep, same place, different year.
"Y/N Harrington as I live and breathe." Sarah, Jim's wife's voice came from the bar, gaining my attention quickly.
I smiled and waved, walking over to the bar with a small pep in my step.
She looked me over once, "When Jim told me you were calling our house that early to ask for a job, I thought we were being punked. What the hell are you doing here?"
A chuckle escaped my lips, and I ran my hand through my hair, "Stuff happened, and I had to come back. I'd rather not get into it if you don't mind."
She waved it off, "Understood. Come on, get back here and show me what you know."
♡♡♡
The night at The Hideout was in full swing, and I was mixing drinks for the bar patrons.
The night was still young, and once I got a chance to breathe, Jim was standing at the bar.
"There's a live band playing tonight. They're a cover band called Corroded Coffin. Pretty good group of guys." He explained, leaving against the bar, "I gotta warn ya, one of the guys, he's got these high school friends that like to come watch. They're allowed to be in here but no alcoholic beverages. Only food, water, soda, or a virgin drink if you're nice enough."
I nodded, understanding what he was telling me, "It's cool that you let them come watch."
"They bring business, and that's all I care about. Same reason why I let you perform whenever you wanted, starting at age sixteen."
I laughed, shaking my head as I handed one of the patrons their drink, "God, that feels like a lifetime ago."
He nodded, smirking as he sat in one of the barstools, "Why don't you help out your old pal and perform one of these nights, huh? I'm sure you'll get quite the audience when people realize Y/N Harrington has come back to town."
"People already know. I got five calls from people asking if she was performing or not." Sarah joked, which made me chuckle lightly, shaking my head.
"Sorry guys, my rockstar days are merely a distant dream."
Jim furrowed his eyebrows, watching me move from the bar to the sink as I started to clean the glasses, "Is that why you're back? Because you didn't get your big break in three years?"
There was a pregnant pause before I answered. I didn't want to tell the truth, so I didn't, "Yeah, that's it."
A group of young teenagers raced to the bar; the tallest had shaggy brown hair and looked very excited as he was bouncing off the walls, he had an anxious looking girl with long brown hair gripping his arm as she looked around.
"Hey Jim!" Another boy with curly brown hair greeted, before looking over at me, "You're new."
I shrugged, amused at the teens, "Not really, just moved back. Want some nachos?"
A read head nodded, glaring lightly, "You look familiar."
I shrugged, "I've got one of those faces; what can I say."
The curly-haired kid interjected, "Can I get a Sherly Temple?"
"You've got it," I said grabbing my notepad, "Anything else?"
The group of teens gave me their drink orders from various sodas, and the redhead asked if I could make her a fruity mocktail. I agreed as I loved mixing drinks of all kinds; it shouldn't be too difficult to replace tequila with Sprite.
"You guys find us a table; I'll wait for our stuff." The curly kid said, and they all nodded, moving off in separate directions to attempt to find a table big enough.
The kid turned to look at me as I was making their drinks, "What's your name?"
"Y/N." I said, moving my hip so he could see my name badge on the apron that was tied around my waist, "What about you?"
"I'm Dustin." He greeted, "It's nice to meet you"
I smiled at his kindness, "It's nice to meet you too."
A very familiar voice that approached the bar, "Henderson, where are the others?" Steve, in a bar, seemed to know many kids. I smirked, passing Dustin his drink as Steve made eye contact with me, freezing.
"Why, hello, Steve. What can I get for you?"
He blinked, snapping out of his shocked state, "What are you doing here?"
"What does it look like? Making your little friends Mocktails just as the good lord intended."
He rolled his eyes, "Really, Y/N, what are you doing here?"
"I'm working, Steve. Can't you tell?"
Dustin looked confused, looking between the two of us, "Do you know her, Steve?"
"She's my sister." He gritted out, not taking his eyes off me as I put the drinks on a tray so I could bring them to the kid's table.
Dustin blinked, "You have a sister?"
"Go find the others, Dustin." He said and the boys' eyes widened, scurrying off with his drink.
He sighed, "Put their stuff on my tab." He mumbled and some other older teenagers walked over to him, including Robin whose eyes widened as she saw me.
"Right on." I say as I write it down in my notebook, "Can I get you anything else? Sodas? Another plate of Nachos?"
He turned to his friends, and they ordered, and I wrote it down, "Cool. You can find a table, and I'll get right on it after I deliver these drinks."
Nodding, they all turned and walked off, and I grabbed the tray of drinks. Spotting the kids at the table, I saw Jim approaching them with the Nachos as I approached, "Alright! A Coke, Sprite, Fruity Concoction, another Coke, and water for the little lady. If you need anything else just come and find me, yeah?"
They all stared at me; Dustin must've told them I was Steve's sister. Apparently, it's uncommon knowledge. I wasn't too surprised.
"Alright, enjoy your night." I slipped off and back to the bar, a waitress was clocking in which meant I could stay behind the bar for as long as I needed.
I heard tapping on the microphone, and I glanced over at the stage, seeing the band that was playing that night. Corroded Coffin was written on the drums, and they seemed like they were a relatively normal rock band.
My eyes found the frontman right away.
He wore a Metallica shirt with the sleeves cut off, black ripped jeans with a studded belt, he held a beautiful electric guitar, and he had silver rings on his fingers on his hands. His hair was long and curly, and he had big brown eyes that excitedly looked through the crowd.
He had a stage presence like no other.
His eyes scanned the bar and they landed on me, where he stopped looking around. Our eyes met and I felt my stomach drop, so I looked away as a customer walked up to the bar.
I smiled at Robin, who greeted me as she sat at the bar.
"Sorry, Robin, I'd hook you up with something good if Jim weren't here." I said with a smile as I leaned against the bar, "Can I make you a fruity virgin?"
"I already am one." She joked, but her face turned pink, and she looked away from me, looking down at the ground, "Sorry, bad joke."
I smiled, laughing, "I spent the last three years in California, Robin; I don't care if you do swing a certain way." I winked at her and grabbed an empty glass from a customer returning it, placing it in the sink for later.
She nodded, tapping on the counter as the band started playing.
I looked at Steve's table, and they were all paying attention to the stage intently; they must know someone from the band; I decided not to inquire since Steve didn't seem to want me to know his business.
"I'll take whatever you made for Max, though," Robin brought my attention back to her, "Just so you know, I know that things between you and Steve are tense right now, but he loves you. He's just a dingus who can't healthily express his emotions."
I chuckled, nodding, "Cheers to our parents for that. Thank you, Robin. I'll get right on it; bring it to your table if you want to enjoy the show."
"Oh, we come here every Tuesday. Supporting the band and all," She turned, pointing to the first band member, "Jeff is on the guitar to the left, Gareth is on the drums, Dougie is on the Bass, and Eddie is the frontman, singing and playing the guitar. We're mostly here for Eddie."
Ah, so the man has a name.
I nodded, handing her the drink, "Enjoy the show."
She grabbed the drink and nodded, disappearing into the crowd.
I looked back at the band, and my eyes went to Eddie immediately. His playing was good, but his voice was fantastic. I was surprised to find out about any other talent coming from Hawkins, Indiana. I leaned against the counter and watched since no customers needed my attention.
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