#i gotta stop its not good for me

[deoidesign]

Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...

#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'??? #because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively #and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop #and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like #'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol' #anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics #oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really #sorta like afterword stuff #gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset... #im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes #anyways. #time and time again #spoilers #what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option?????? #uh #adam and steve #ttawebcomic #sketches #sketch dump #these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe #the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL

[captaintrio]

hey so I'm literally starting to hate the word "radical" in its political usage.

it is not radical to think that people deserve food and clean water.

it is not radical to think that people deserve safe housing, full stop.

it is not radical to think that bodily autonomy is a human right.

it is not radical to think that queer and trans folks should be allowed to exist comfortably and happily, be allowed to marry each other, and have access to medical care, gender-affirming or otherwise.

it is not radical to think that children shouldn't be going into debt over school lunches.

it is not radical to think that education should be free.

it is not radical to think that nobody should have to die of preventable/treatable illnesses.

it is not radical to think that poverty shouldn't fucking exist.

belief in basic human rights and dignities for everyone that exists is not a radical stance, we're a cooperative species, we are LITERALLY built to care for and help each other.

attaching the term "radical" to any stance that approaches compassionate and decent is a tool of the oppressor class, and we are literally 200 years behind the curve. we HAVE to re-frame the way we talk about these things and throw the fucking shackles off.

#av speaks #don't come after me about radical vs reactionary #I know what the words mean i've written so many gd papers you would not believe #I'm saying that irrespective of the current political usage #that word is wrong and is a mechanism that is in use to like #purposefully keep everyone desperate and scattered #nobody wants to be part of a radical group because we've been socialized to conform #so labeling anything good for us as radical taps into a lizard brain fear response #of being part of the out-group #gotta stop looking at people as out- vs in-groups #its a rabbit hole of suck and it's killing us

[vorpan-yaimi]

boba fett forever on my mind

#i love how so far tbobf is just him being ok at politcis #absolutely ignoring how in a few episodes he is meant to stop showing up #reading a bobadin fic rn that is kinda set in the same time as tbobf and holy shit its kinda messing with me but its so good #you gotta love a self hating religiously traumatised din djarin fooling around with the man himself boba fett #boba fett #the book of boba fett

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it... #I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀 #irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living... #just the ol regulars yknow? #and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want? #I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what? #whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate? #so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it? #that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

[b4kuch1n]

pre-holiday leave crumbs

#sk8 the infinity #kyan reki #hasegawa langa #renga #hey. if I give u a bottle labeled wine with somethin else inside. would u drink it #anyways. tomorrow I Travel #The Turbulance evened out alright! so the Traveling could no longer be postponed #three days on da road babeyy (<- shaking and crying) #goin to a market! I'll try to get a new kitchen knife there. will be better than whatever the fucks goin on in our kitchen rn #anyways. post-fic haze has settled in once again I am simply no thought. this will continue for hopefully five hours #until I gotta get up for car time #kinda whittling down the 20yo reki design slowly to get to a point where it feels Correct #20yo langa is already perfect. maybe to nobody but me but I stand the fuck by it #I believe in langa looking like a guy lesbians would hit on by accident in his 20s. I hold myself to it #oh yeah if ur asking. no that was not a cigarette in the first pic. sorry Im a tightass about smoking thats a lollipop #in my head its the pickled mango flavour that alpenliebe already made a hard candy version of here #hard sour candy shell with. chili salt core. it is good (?) but it hurts my stomach (I will not stop eating them) #also if u catch the acc name going outside the panel in the comic. its bc I could NOT leave it at just 'random white girl' #it has to be the full thing I cannot do this fake fictional twitter user like that #literally the only preliminary caution I take for funny comics. nothign else makes sense I dont care. this is necessary however #anyways. it is time for baku to be horizontal and shit. so here we goooo #have a good nite lads! idk what will happen in the next 3 days! will most probably be silent! and then dip pen comms will open again #eat well sleep well! two daysborday until labor day

[kurjakani]

Please never stop being thirsty for Columbo it's making my day seeing these (almost) cryptic thirst posts

Augsjhdh IM SO GLAD SM OF U R ENJOYING IT i do worry sometimes... well BACK 2 WORK!!!!

#ask #mutuals #columbo #i have a LOT left 2 watch so there is NO worry of me stopping lumboposti g for a good while 😭😭 #its kinda perfect bg watchinf while working! just slow enough #i think i gotta get a full dvd box set tho

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King Seb :D

#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333 #he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today #this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!! #can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant #i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am' #this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!! #i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;; #okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH): #this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved) #its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph? #but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010) #its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves #seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his #so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better #whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it) #not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh #anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO #its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation #pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!) #i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #f1 art #formula 1 art #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art. #*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such #boy king au

[jfkisonthemoon]

thinking about 999th regression yjh...

[ID: A moodboard composed of alternating images of cartoon art: a stick figure gorily stomping on another's head and a person kneeling and wailing. End ID]

huge thanks to @princess-of-purple-prose for writing this ID!

#I AM STILL READING IM ON CHAPTER 454 DO NOT SPOIL #and every yjh makes me feel like this but fuck. man. #i read at least a chapter a day so its been days and days and days of reading about #hold on i gotta make sure this ends up under a read more so my siblings dont accidentally get spoiled hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #secretive plotter. and 999. and our yjh. basically yjh has been killing me lately. #yjh my lovely wife my beautiful wife yjh. #i should be forbidden from thinking about yjh. its not good for my health. #reading a chapter a day is good but its also terrible #because it means everywhere i go and everything i do i cant stop thinking about yjh #jessie speaks

[uris-stanley]

this is mike to will in a little note when he gives will a mixtape he made for him

#gotta b #anyway i think youll love it. sorry i couldn't get it done in time for your birthday. i know we havent talked much but you mean #so much to me and its been so weird and sad without you here #hope this is good. you gotta make the songs last until i see you again. love mike #OR SOMETHING #byler #byeler #st #stranger things #stranger things 4 #mike wheeler #will byers #st4 #spoilers beyond this tag pls stop reading pls pls pls ok #AND IF MIKE USES IT TO BREAK WILL OUT OF VECNAS CURSE WHAT THEN!! #FUCKING. WILL GETS ATTACKED AS EL IS TRYING TO KILL VECNA AND MIKE PUTS THE MIXTAPE ON WHILE TALKING ABOUTBHOW MUCH HE MEANS TO WILL AND HOW #HE NEED TO HANG ON SO MIKE CAN TELL HIM PROPERLY DKDNBDJDJ

[soldier-poet-king]

SAD!

#the duality of fran #ignore me theres just so much its midnight i am perpetually exhausted snd yet cant sleep #melatonin. melatonin save me. save me melatonin #just hugely sad suddenly #desperately terribly sad and idk why #annoyed af bc politics at family dinner my shitty uncles alabaman wife was like IM VOTING FOR TRUMP #MAAM???? MAAM?????????? #it turned into a Whole thing #and ive stopped drinking most weekends. im trying to be good I know how easy it is to just have a glass or two or three of wine #so i only drink when i want to and am in a good mood #so not. just bc shitty family #BUT YKWIM #and then idk. im just. really sad and despairingly lonely and idk whY #OBJECTIVELY LIFE IS GOOD AND EVERYTHING IS FINE #and YET #idk man. im going to curl up into the tiniest ball possible under all my blankets #and pretend that weight is comforting human contact #my joints will complain but i gotta squish myself #touch starved touch averse meltdown yknow. yknow. one of those #disgusting and pathetic and selfish!!!! to delete later #tmrw i have to be responsible and good again #and i will stop moping stop thinking abt it go back to pretending that there isnt a void in my chest!!! #fine!!! this is fine!!!

[ducktollers]

who up feeling their spirit get crushed into dust by this ai shit 😂😂😂

#turns out my laptop isnt strong enough to run glaze so now i gotta wait at least a month for them to reply to my dm 😃 #not on them at all ik theyre swamped but im just like. why do we have to fucking do this #like ​putting poison on our lunch so coworkers stop stealing it. Why do the coworkers get away with stealing it in the first place #why is this how things have worked out. the amount of companies ive seen use ai generation for their ads (TABLET COMPANIES.)……… #im like. u used to have to pay an artist to do that. and instead of putting technicology to good use #where it can do things that are tedious/difficult/impossible for humans to do #we’ve decided to have the machines do the one job we thought a machine COULDNT steal. bc its abt human creativity and passion #why. bc it saves a bunch of rich fucks even more money and they dont give a fuck about the rest of us #this shit wouldnt even exist if human artists werent here first for it to copy its souless its nothing its cold and dead i fucking hate it #YEARS of work and experience and craft honing and nobody gives a fuck they just see a person they dont have to pay anymore #steals our lifes work without our permission without paying us without a care how is my spirit NOT supposed to feel crushed #i see an ai image and all i see is decades of hard work that was stolen like if u ripped the bones out of a living person #ik jts dramatic and i keep going on abt rhis but it just bothers me SO fucking much #every time i have to think abt it ​its like a thousand pound rock dropped into my stomach #x

[devilsskettle]

i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/

#stop it...... #i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take #i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in....... #ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday #each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy #selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need #standing all day long just fucking bored #hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in #ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day #when nothing new ever happens #and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either #i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling #and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me #i walk there i stand all day and i walk home #that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like. #i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in #if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy #but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot #idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do #there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits #and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future #so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless. #sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol #all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that

[rox-of-iu]

heads up i finally scrambled together enough brain power and caught up with cultivate and i am not going to be normal about it and im going to make it everyone elses problem <33

#cultivate🥰🥰🤗☺️😊🤩😊🤗🥰🥰🤩☺️🤗🥰 #ykno that feeling when u have a beloved fic but are not in the right vibe to read it even tho you want to so you gotta wait #until that breaks because its so good and you dont want to ruin the experience and it deserves the right vibes tm or am i tripping- #fhkjfhdkANYWAY IFINALLY DID AND 🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖 hdkjfhs #sooner or later doodles are back on the menu boys because im sooooooooo normal about this fic aha smile :)))))))) #speaking of being normal #BEES BESS HBBEES BEES BEES BES BEES AHHAHAHA #LISTEN im gonna sound like a loonie right noW BUT LISNETN #ever since those arctic bees were mentioned way beck when I DID NOT. STOP THINKING ABOUT THEMM. buzzing in my brain THIS WHOLE TIME #and ever since then i was like ☺️what if that concept actually showed up aha 🤗 and it wasnt just throwaway LQG thought ☺️aha #AND I KNOW THIS ISNT EVEN MAYBE A CALLBACK TO IT I KNOW I KNOW OK MAYBE IM CRAZY BUT LET ME HAVE THIS #crystal cave bees are a callback to arctic bees in my heart 💖 #you dont understand fuzzy litol blue bbys so beloved i was even planning to sneak them into a future piece thats in the microwave lmao #AND NOW THEYRE PROPERLY CANON AYO B)) #speaking of future pieces absolutely do not let me forget that i wanna do bai zhan and taoren spouses outfits properly thats also very 💖💖 #im just waiting if we get more details on howd they look #ok enough rambling more sleeping gbyyyeeee