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digital999placebo · 2 years

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since im posting old art here’s some germany i never got around to posting bc i thought it was 2 edgy. 1-4 r panels from a scrapped comic about the rise n fall of germany ca 1800-1920s. also 70s in the middle of everything bc y not! click keep reading to read an unedited excerpt from a unrequited gerame fanfic (that i also scrapped) :)

“Gilbert doesn’t put anyone above himself, and you’re a moron for letting yourself believe you were the exception,” Françoise told him, and Alfred still remembers the shape of her back in the setting sun’s red shine.

And then, a hundred years later, the exception came. The exception was nothing like an exception should be, it had quickly been given the nickname “the ugliest child in the world” by both its neighbouring countries –all of Europe actually– and its own politicians.

“Child,” Alfred had heard Austria say to Françoise after the defeat of Napoleon, “is a generous thing to call it, more like Prussia’s failed attempt to play God.”

Alfred saw this supposed child, named the German empire (a funny name considering what it was. Alfred had almost laughed outright at just that, never before had he seen an empire in this condition), once before the depression, and what had at first seemed like words formed out of Austria’s bitterness suddenly became objective truth. In appearance, Germany was nothing like a child apart from its short stature, it aroused no nurturing instincts, and had it been left at some poor, unsuspecting orphanage’s steps, it’d be left to starve.

Stitches disfigured Germany’s face and body, and one particular stitch in its left eyebrow weighed down heavily on its eyelid, keeping the child from being fully able to open the eye, or perhaps it was just the infection, judging by the way the nation’s eye leaked pink and yellow tears. As if it wasn’t already an eyesore, it was skinny as well and hurried after Prussia on swaying crutches, dressed in uniforms too nicely decorated for its young age and lithe frame. Its mere existence was a long list of complications: asthma, momentary blindness, recurrent seizures, necrosis patches due to infected stitches, always feverish and pale; had it been human a harsh wind would’ve brought death with it.

To say that Germany was Prussia’s attempt to play God was fair, but failed Germany would prove not to be. The boy nearly outgrew Russia as a young adult, and Alfred reckoned if Ludwig was to hit a human man, he could very well kill the man with one swing.

When Alfred met Ludwig again in 1927 –or maybe it was 1926 he couldn’t exactly recall– he didn’t at first believe that the man in front of him had been that same child he saw some decades ago. The man in front of him was taller than him, broader in the shoulders too and most surprisingly: healthy; only a few crookedly healed scars were all that remained of the sickly boy that once had stood before Alfred. Ludwig hadn’t even been able to close his hands into complete fists as a child, yet now he was strong enough to bend cutlery with one hand (well, he was irritated and drunk at that point but still).

More than a failed experiment, Ludwig was Gilbert’s miracle.

#ignore my lacking german in the 70s one -___________- i havent been on a plane since last year i dont remember wat they say #also i love the thought of germany developing body complex/insecurity about his looks bc all the adults around him as a kid bullied him for #his appearance #see last pic who wouldnt bully that #uhm also me n kiwis headcanon that germany cant handle stress at all he just begins consuming himself literally #hetalia #hws germany #tw body horror #i guess if any1 needs that #999art #hws prussia #hws austria #hws veneziano #ugliest kid in the word: germany

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deactivated4evr · 6 days

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just realize me shipping samarina is literally the same thing as me shipping yandere chan x oka ruto when i was 12

#some things never change i guess]#samarie #marina domek #funger #yanderuto #is that a real ship #did people ship that #anyways #i need an original txt tag #lmk if u have any ideas #fear and hunger #f&h #also b4 any1 gets mad obviii samarina is better bcs the characters r more developed and have actual personalities #and arent like one note characters or tropes #i love this type of ship so bad #waiter !! more occult girl x obsessive girl yuri pleaseeee #yuri

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orcelito · 1 year

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i do love that vash is the Definition of high int, low wis. he puts on the goofiness to get ppl to not pay attention to how absolutely Bonkers skilled he is so ppl just assume he's a dumbass. and like. he IS. in some ways. he is SUCH a dumbass. but he's an incredibly intelligent dumbass. he has layers.

#speculation nation #focusing on the wiki page's bit that says his IQ is higher than most humans #like YES he's a rabid little guy (big guy tbh) all bark no bite least intimidating motherfucker around (until he Gets Serious)#but he's also like. legit super sharp. like Geeze it takes me by surprise anytime i see it #if any1 thinks he's genuinely stupid. Pls. pls. pay attention. he is VERY smart.#he also is the kind of stupid where he would shoot a hole in a jelly donut #listen you can be highly intelligent and highly stupid at the same time. believe me. that is my entire existence.#me projecting onto vash in yet another way re: high int low wis #im a total dumbass & make all sorts of stupid decisions. many just for the fun of it #like how yesterday i sampled the hazelnut extract. despite knowing FULL WELL that sampling the rose and vanilla extracts #made my tongue numb. guess what happened when i tried the hazelnut extract?#if u guessed that it made my tongue numb. ur right!!! i had to go to the sink to rinse out my mouth just like i did with the rose n vanilla #did i know that was going to happen? yes! did i sample it anyways? YES! this is the kind of chaotic dumbass im talking about here #sometimes life is boring and you gotta do what u gotta do to get ur kicks ok.#vash is an immortal guy living his life trying to be underestimated so he doesnt have to get into fights #but pulling out the Big Guns (heh) if it comes down to it. and STILL manages to be skilled enough to keep it non-lethal #the fucking Precision he needs in order to shoot nonlethally with his pinpoint accuracy is Insane #ok im a wolfwood girlie first and foremost but the more i think about Vash the more im drawing hearts around him in my mind #i think. im more in love with trimax vash than tristamp vash is the thing. i love them both but FUCK dude #trimax vash is just. hooooooooooooo boy #just like wolfwood. i prefer trimax wolfwood over tristamp wolfwood. that's just the facts #idk where im going with this. im just drawing hearts in my mind's eye around them Both now. there is no downside

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b4341 · 2 years

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wishing for my mentally ill mutuals (all of you) a good day and good sleep

#one of those days i guess #anyways… i’m around #if any1 needs to bounce thoughts off of someone #etc etc

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quotemenevervore · 5 months

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Squishy fic time (Shrunken Manhunt Edition) >:)

@brick-a-doodle-do @da3dm @munchkin1156 @i-am-beckyu im over here now >:)

TW for panic, major character injury, weapons, fear, safe vore

(Nevermore: everyone say thank you squishy for another amazing fic 💚💚)

“You’re lucky Sap didn’t burn dinner tonight.” Karl laughed, wrapping said fireborn in a hug. “He would’ve poisoned us!” Karl joked, pressing a kiss to Sapnaps cheek. The fireborn snorted, grabbing tightly onto Karl. “Yeah, you two are so lucky my evil plan didn’t work, I guess you need to give me cuddles to calm me down or I’ll do it for real.” Sapnap playfully teased, grabbing his two laughing fiances into the bed as they got tucked into the sheets.

“Oh no! Q, what will we ever do!” Karl asked dramatically. “Hurry! Give him cuddles!” The avian responded quickly, wrapping his arms around the fireborn. Karl wrapped his arms around the fireborn as the three laughed together.

“I really love you two.” Sapnap spoke. “Okay, cheesy, get new lines.” The avian muttered with a laugh.

“Yeah well what if I like being cheesy?” “Literally no one asked.”

The fireborn smiled, pulling his fiances in closer. “Yeah, whatever, let’s just head to bed, alright?” Karl curled into the fireborn’s chest, soaking in the warmth.

It was a quiet evening at the fiances as they drifted into sleep.

- - -

The shapeshifter stretched a bit before opening his eyes. He pulled his fiances closer, missing their warmth-Honk!

Karl shot up, the things in his arms sliding out. Where were Sap and Q?! Honk! He looked to his left, spotting a beautiful golden duck, sitting on the bed and honking up at him.

He blinked at the animal before he shrieked and slipped off of the bed, knocking his head against the floor before getting up on his feet quickly. Karl backed up, eyeing the duck before he frantically reached for a book, holding it in front of himself protectively.

He was pretty sure ducks were the scary birds, pretty sure. Or was that swans? He wasn’t sure, maybe it was both.

Something rubbed up against his heels, scaring him enough to trip over it and land on the ground again. The shapeshifter groaned, rubbing his head.

He opened his eyes only to meet another pair of eyes, although these were orange with slits. He whimpered, curling up. Prime, please let this be a dream, please. Karl begged.

The shapeshifter seemed to calm down as a small form squirmed it’s way into his curl. Another form rested on his shoulders. Karl dared to open his eyes again, spotting the duck nestled softly in his arms, while a scaly tail rested in front of his face.

“Oh g–, this isn’t a dream, is it…” He muttered. He put a hand on the scaly thing on his neck and the other on the duck as he slowly sat up. “Where did you guys come from?” He asked, not expecting an answer. Honk! The duck responded. Karl laughed as he pulled off the scaly form off of his neck.

It was a small dragon. “Oh honk, yeah it would be nice to know where you two came from.” He carefully shoved the duck off his lap as he stood up, walking over to the bed. He grabbed his comm, checking the messages. Nothing. Karl’s fiances had left their comms and hadn’t told him where they were going.

He was alone.

“Where-” He muttered, turning on Sapnap’s comm to check the messages. Nothing. Quackity’s? Nothing.

He dared to send a message in the chat.

KarlJacobs: has any1 seen q or sap

He pocketed the device, opening the door. His gaze wandered to the two animals in the room who just stared at him. “Come on.” He sighed with a smile, “let’s figure out how to get you guys back home.” The mini-dragon lifted the duck up with their mouth, letting the duck sit on its back.

Karl watched as the two scuttled out of the room. The shapeshifter smiled, leading them down into the kitchen. Neither fiance were down there waiting for him. The dragon pushed him along carefully. He laughed, deciding to pick up the two. “If either of you bite me I will put you down.” He said.

He smiled, holding them close. The two creatures ended up snuggling him back, which he was happy for. “I think I’m going to visit my fathers today. If my fiances don’t want to see me again you bet I’m going to go say hi.” He giggled. The dragon seemed to stiffen before curling around the shapeshifter.

His arm fizzled as one of the watches sped up. His right hand formed a finger gun, shooting energy into the center of the room. A portal formed and he held tightly onto the creatures as he stepped through. When he stepped through to the other side the portal vanished.

Karl smiled happily as he spotted his parents' cabin, excitedly running towards it. The door opened before he got there and a figure ran through, embracing the shapeshifter in a hug. “Karl!” They spoke as the creatures flapped to the ground. “Hey dad.” He smiled.

“You never visit! What’s the occasion?” “My fiances left me. And in my defense there was way too much going on in that place.”

The man looked horrified, frantically scanning him over. “I’m fine, I’m fine, don’t worry.” He smiled sadly. “You must’ve been through so much…Come on, let’s go celebrate, hm?” Karl laughed, wrapping his arms around his father.

“Hasan! Hurry and make some lunch, we need to celebrate!” “What are we celebrating?”

“Karl’s home!” The sound of something dropping rang uncomfortably through his ears before he was wrapped in another encompassing hug. Hasan hugged tightly onto Karl. “We missed you so much.”

“I know, I’m sorry…there were just too many wars to be able to hop without consequence.” He muttered, enjoying the hug. His dad smiled and pulled away, letting his papa enjoy his own hug.

When Hasan pulled away, Karl spotted Austin carefully picking up the creatures. “Where did these guys come from?” “Oh, they gave me a heart attack in my room, but I promised to take them back where they belong.”

“Karl…mobs can’t hop.” Hasan explained. The shapeshifter looked at the other, confused. “People, yes. Hybrids, yes. Mobs and normal animals? No.”

Karl looked back over at the creatures, extending his arms to take them from Austin. Honk! He stared confused at the duck before the dragon spit something up and set it on the bird’s head.

His eyes widened as his gaze shifted between the creatures, Austin, and Hasan. “Holy f—.” He muttered. “No, cause holy f—.” He muttered, arms flapping as he handed the duck to Austin.

The duck who now wore Quackity’s beanie.

He didn’t understand what had happened, and he didn’t want to. He ended up pacing the room, filled with anxiety and concern. He’d been with his fiances all day and hadn’t known! He didn’t even realize he had stopped moving, or that he had started to tear up until the dragon–Sapnap, probably–made himself known by curling tighter around his shoulder. The dragon nipped softly at his ear.

“I-i didn’t-how could I not have known-” Karl muttered. Sapnap adjusted himself on the other’s shoulder, clinging to his face. Karl slowly took a breath, dragging it on until Sapnap wiggled back onto his shoulders.

“Hey, relax. It’s okay, do you want to talk about it?” Austin asked softly, stopping the other in his tracks. “I-they-these two are my fiances-I don’t know what to do-” He started rambling before Austin set Quackity into his arms. The shapeshifter started to relax a bit with the comforting weight in his arms.

“It’s okay Karl, I know it’s hard, but you can figure it out.” Hasan spoke up, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Figure-Figure! That’s it! Thank you so much!” Karl cheered. “I-i’ll be back, promise. I just have to go hunt down a god.”

Karl waved to his parents as he quickly reentered his home, pulling out his comm. “If you two say anything I will tie you up.” He threatened the two now sitting on his shoulders.

KarlJacobs: i need every1 with their animals to meet me @ community building :]

Pocketing the comm, he grabbed a few potions as well as Sapnap’s favorite axe. The dragon huffed. “I know, I know. Trust me, I won’t break it.” In return, the dragon lept of his shoulder, quickly grabbing something.

“Come on, we need to go!” Karl spoke, grabbing a book. The dragon jumped back onto his shoulder, refusing to show the shapeshifter what he had grabbed. “Okay fine, keep your secrets.”

- - -

He sighed, pulling himself out of the cart before grabbing the other two. “Here we go.” He muttered to himself, beginning to go up the steps. Karl huffed as he got to the top. “You two can fly, you know?” He sighed as he stood in the community house.

Inside could only be described as chaos.

Birds flying everywhere, water spilled across the floor, and endless noises met him. He quickly became overwhelmed by the noise, dropping down on his knees to get further from the noise. Karl whimpered. Sapnap acted quickly, flapping off of the shapeshifter’s shoulder and letting out an ear-shattering roar before glaring at the chaos.

Tears dripped out of his eyes until something soft bounded up to him. He reached out, petting the soft white fluff. A sheep, probably Puffy. “Thank you.” He whispered, slowly standing up and letting Sapnap perch proudly on his arm.

The only humans he saw were George, Tommy and Niki. Well that was absolutely underwhelming. “You wanted to meet us?” George spoke first. “Yeah! It’s a bit crazy, but hear me out.” He began, smiling as a crow settled on his arm next to Quackity.

“Hey Phil.” He smiled, looking at the bird. “Karl, what he f—.” Tommy began. “You-”

“The crow is Phil! The dragon’s Sapnap, and the duck is Quackity!” Karl explained. “Karl, love, you’re going to need to explain a bit more.” Niki spoke.

“I know. And I don’t understand this enough. But somehow our friends aren’t hybrids anymore. Now they’re just animals. The axolotl! That’s Dream! The hoglin is Techn-” “Karl, you are literally sounding insane. Let’s get you back to bed.” George spoke kindly, approaching the shapeshifter.

“No, no, no, George, I know what I’m talking about, I know what to do please-” “No, you need a break, you’ve been dealing with too much-OW-s—!” George shouted when Sapnap bit his arm. The human frowned, trying to pull him off.

“Sapnap, biting isn’t nice.”

The dragon growled before pulling himself off. “Karl, I don’t normally like to agree with people but you need a break, you are literally sounding insane.” Tommy announced. “I’m being serious! Come on, you need to believe me! You had to have noticed something!”

“Let’s calm down and talk this out, okay? I see what Karl’s getting at.” Niki announced. “What do you mean?” George turned.

“This sheep does act a lot like Puffy, and the lizard acts like Jack. I get it-”

Purpled opened the door before he rowed a boat inside. “Sorry, I don’t have any way to bring them here.” The boat held a fish tank, and inside was a shark. Behind him was a fox, and a dog. Purpled held up a jar filled with goop.

“I’m going to sound so insane, but I swear these guys are actually the Las Nevadas group-” Honk! Purpled blinked at Quackity. “Oh.”

“See! I’m not crazy!” Karl insisted, directed at George. “I know what I’m saying.” A cat slunk into the building next. “How did you find out?!” Purpled asked in shock.

“I found out when Sapnap decided to spit up Quackity’s beanie. And I will not be washing that.” Karl added, cutting out any of the other parts. “Yeah, that works. I could just hear their voices.” The teen spoke.

“Okay, so this is a real thing? Like an actual thing?” Tommy asked softly, eyeing the falcon next to him. “Yep, I just don’t know how to undo it.”

“I think I do.” Karl spoke boldly. “Could you guys move? I need my arms for a moment.” He asked. The three flapped off of him, although Quackity just sat on his head. He pulled out the book and wrote his name in it, slamming the pages shut. He walked outside and dug a hole, pouring lava into it.

“Karl Jacobs.” He muttered, throwing the book inside, pulling out the axe. Everyone else joined him outside just before the hairs on the back of his head stood up. He watched reality morph, a geometric shifting hole formed in the sky. A massive figure pulled itself into reality, staring down at Karl.

“You called?” A voice spoke demandingly. He stood his ground, gripping the axe tighter. “You owe me, XD.”

“I do not.” The being insisted. “Yeah? What about the memory loss? Time travel? The whole ‘gods plaything’? I think it’s about time you do something for me.” Karl spat, staring up.

The duck on his head was trembling, but Karl was too scared to move, to scared to do anything beside talk.

“Fine. Three wishes, Karl Jacobs. And that is all.” The being spoke. “And?” Karl asked expectantly.

“And?” “Undo what you did to my friends and fiances.”

“Fine, that too. It’ll be undone when the clock strikes midnight.” The being hissed. “But I warn you, Jacobs, once you run out of wishes, I run out of patience.”

The being disappeared the same way it came. Karl finally took a breath, shaking. “...Karl?” He fell to the ground, shaking, and finding himself unable to do much more, just staring into the distance. “Karl! Oh g–, George do you have a healing potion?!”

He began to cry, anxiety and fear radiating out of his body. Quackity was padding around him, trying to make him feel better. He was moved awkwardly, head tilted upwards as a potion was poured down his throat.

His leg tingled as he glanced down at it. Long enough to watch Purpled pull the axe out of the limb.

He let out a scream, muffled by the drink sliding through and cooling his insides. George maintained eye contact with him, saying things that he couldn’t hear.

His friend did eventually move before blue liquid splashed just out of his vision. He felt nauseous as he rolled over, finally managing to move all of his heavy limbs. Karl looked up, meeting the massive scaly face of Sapnap. “‘Ey sapn’p.” He managed to mutter. The dragon pressed his nose to Karl’s forehead.

Quackity padded up to him again, sitting down next to his shrunken form. Sapnap glared at Quackity before lifting Karl up by his teeth and resting him on his back.

“Alright, let’s let them go.” Purpled spoke, herding the group back inside. Sapnap nodded and slowly began to lift himself up with his wings. Karl watched as his two fiances began to fly together.

His hands rested on Sapnap’s top horns as the two began to pick up speed. Karl’s head began to droop a bit as he grew more and more tired from before.

The two took a pit stop, landing softly in a nearby tree. Sapnap reached his head back and carefully pushed Karl into his mouth. The dragon swallowed his fiance slowly, letting the tired shapeshifter slide into his storage.

Karl felt safe, nestled into his fiance’s storage. He finally let himself sleep, awaiting whatever would happen when he went to sleep.

- - -

Karl woke up slowly, mumbling to himself. Sapnap and Quackity–who were thankfully human again–laid beside him, curled around him protectively as they slept. The words of XD rang through his mind as he tried to fall back asleep, and he prayed to prime that he would find a way out of this mess.

#submission #mcyt g/t #dsmp g/t #tw vore #tiny!karl #giant!quackity #giant!sapnap #giant!karl #tiny!sapnap #tiny!quackity #shrunken manhunt

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pup-pee · 6 months

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*presents u my dick grayson hcs like ur @ my garage sale* (dick hcs #1?)

♡ this

♡ hes a passenger princess(no this is cannon whoopsie)

♡ dick is like the first girl 2 b killed in a slaughter movie, but just as a 27-ish yr old adult man

♡ draws on a beauty mark in a different spot everytime & gaslights any1 who asks about it -"hey wasnt ur beauty mark under ur other eye?" -"idk i cant see my own face"

♡ hes always losing his hairties bc he keeps shooting them @ ppl -& rubberbands 4 that matter

♡ we dont talk about the skin grip example -it involves a lot of falling & a lot of crashing -if ykyk

♡ dick usually has a twix in his pocket, but in order 2 get it u have 2 guess if its a left or right twix -he also respectfully keeps the left twin in his left pocket & the right twix in the right pocket

♡ he never believed in santa claus but is terrified that watermelon will grow inside him if he swallows the seeds

♡ not rlly a hc but hes vry mcdonals girl toy coded

♡ says "fuck it we ball" b4 jumping in2 a drug ring

♡ the hardest hes laughed in a while was @ a bucket falling over

♡ "masculine but in a peacock way" quotes,,,,,

♡ makes hot chocolate in a pot -refuses 2 make it in a mug it HAS 2 b done on the stove or its not the same

♡ knows how to do his make-up but doesnt know the name of the product he uses -foundation? no thats just my face paint

♡ if u ask him 2 draw, hell say "i cant even draw a straight line!"

♡ dick; *pulls out sticker sheet* *puts mlp sticker some1s face*

♡ swallowed grapes/blue berries whole as a kid bc he didnt know better -didnt chew them*

♡ dicks fav turtle is leo

♡ fixates on tinkering w/his bits & bots

♡ wears crocs -"y do u wear crocs?" -dick; kicks in their direction so the croc hits theyre face

♡ eyeballs measurements(like cooking) -until it comes 2 clothes, then its ultra mega super duper whopper popper deluxe edition focus

♡ h8s grippy socks -the textures weird + attracts halys hair(as if all socks wouldnt but-) -prolly h8s socks in gen

♡ had 2 have snorted pixie stick as a kid -i am such a believer that every kid has done this so he will 2 -as a dare @ LEAST

♡ when hes angry he plops 1 of those sweet cough drops in his mouth 2 chew on just so that he doesnt go off -any hard candy works 2 -he needs 1 of those chewie chewables

♡ biting/chewing hcs bc it needs a separate category @ this point -keeps chewing on earbuds -h8s biting his nails actually -no pen or pencil or eraser is safe -loves biting but h8s when his food is 2 chewy/has 2 bite harder than usual -has more than 1nce caught himself about 2 chew on electrical wire -bites ppl he loves 2 show appreciation/love nom -(i will defend this goddamn hc till the day i die)

♡ pizza bagels -if ur confused, come see me after class

♡ titans have basically banned horror movies from movie nights bc dick would complain about the gore/physics/traps/mo/literally anything 'inaccurate' -"dick its just a movie" "U DONT UNDERSTAND."

♡ has the most social media followers out of batfam but only posts 1nce a month(sometimes not) -its just a picture of his half eaten cereal captioned "beautiful day today"

♡ titians walked in on him doing a backbend & thought some1 murdered him(not 4 vry long though cause oviously he was alive i just like the thought of some1 like roy when he 1st joined the team walking in & doing the most dramatic gasp ever)

♡ listen, i like contortionist dick -its fun & silly

♡ takes 'cringe' as a compliment

♡ "ur mature 4 ur age!" dick; "let me fix that real quick"

♡ hair grows vry quickly

♡ h8s functioning labels(i mean we all should but yk)

♡ skilled in bingo

♡ over buys treats 4 haly -& toys

♡ insane internal clock -kinda ties in; tells ppl specific times -"meet me @ 2;37 pm" as an example

♡ comic sans enjoyer(literally stole from ttg but shhhhhh)

♡ more invested in presidential gay love affairs than WW1 or 2

♡ hes about yay high

♡ hyperfixates on languages istg

i literally could go on 4ever bc my brain is that highway in germany but i wont i regret nothing

pt 2 <- if i make 1 lol

#the amount of times i wanted 2 write “y? bc i say so” after a hc was crazy #my worst fear is that i make hcs off of a hc'd dick from another hc'd that was based off ao3 from some1 whos never read the comics #dyinf on the biting hc hill #dick grayson #dc #puppee hcs

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strawberrybabydog · 11 days

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Hi! Regarding your reblogged personal post on abuse and system accountability, we wanted to reach out to say that we personally don’t see anything wrong with being cold, dismissive, or even lashing out at your abuser. While it might make you seem like an asshole to those who don’t know about what you went through, that doesn’t change the fact that you were abused. No victim should ever be forced or expected to treat their abuser with kindness and respect, especially if their abuser still behaves poorly or hasn’t taken ownership of their past actions.

You don’t owe your abuser an apology. You don’t owe him feelings of remorse, either. Outsiders aren’t aware of the full story, and that may lead them to the wrong conclusions, but that is in no way your fault.

So sorry if this ask is invasive or unwanted. We just want to let you know that we’re in your corner, we understand what you’re feeling, and we’re wishing you peace, respite, and comfort! Hopefully better system accountability will come with time and practice, but in this particular instance, we don’t think any member of your system has behaved rashly or in a way that’s unjustified!

thank u i really needed to hear this. i feel like in general you might be right but yeah its complicated . more abt it below sorta if any1 is interested

our abuser does recognize what he does to us to some extent? but doesnt stop and keeps... trying??

we had more level-headed protectors near the beginning but This One Fella's anger just grows and grows with every betrayal. it is also (primarily) a prosecutor though and another problem with it, is it turns it's anger onto us as well during these times. i, myself, do not remember the specifics of what it says to our abuser, but our abuser describes her as having no limits and suddenly cutting deep. i do know that whatever she says can be very personal, and she is very mean-spirited. this is mostly the behavior we're unproud of - not just lashing out in anger, but throwing personal specific insults or using sensitive personal information against abuser. it's justified i guess, but still doesnt fully feel right. it feels relieving, but it's still Bad Coping

now that im typing this... maybe our hosts just need to become more comfortable sitting in anger in general. i feel like im describing a feeling of, all of my anger is unjustified and i should just Not Be Angry, and maybe thats just not fair to us? i dont know. it still doesnt feel right to use personal attacks, even if it feels good

it is a complicated situation and idk if there is a correct answer or not. im trying to figure it out. i know my words could never do even close to the damage he has done to me but hhhhh Hurt People Is Bad !!!!!! it is not good it sux !!!

#or idk maybe i have le woke liberal mind virus or whatever and my brain is just like Everyone Should Hold Hands Forever Yippie ^_^#WHATEVA I GUESS. WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT IN THERAPY. HOPEFULLY #only good useful thing my dumbass abuser ever did 4 me is this bitch is sending me to therapy after 3 years. amen #after the amount of lying and putting me in psychosis on purpose/delusion planting i think its about time i go to therapy about it damn #bottom teir #help babydog #babydog helped #systema sobaky #big feelings #asks #personal #not dog

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jwowwsboobs · 3 months

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tagged by @seekdestr0y TY G <3333

are you named after anyone?

well my middle name is a saints but other thn that no …

when was the last time you cried?

yesterday well thismorning but it was like 1am b4 i went 2 bed

do you have kids?

no but i HAVE had one real pregnancy scare n two fake ones. by fake i mean it was the week b4 my period n i was catastrophizing

what sports do you play/have you played?

i did ballet 4 like 12 years … that was it. i work out slash stretch slash do yoga sometimes but not very often. need 2 do tht in the morning

do you use sarcasm?

yes😭😭 i do like a valley girl voice bcuz its funny but i try not 2 use it over text

what’s the first thing you notice about people?

hair & shoe or pants. it says a lot abt someone !

what’s your eye color?

blue 🔵_🔵

scary movies or happy endings?

BOTH i love a scare n i love happy endings…is th final girl getting away not a happy ending ?? get real

any talents?

in MY opinion not really i just do things . i guess writing but honestly thts just a skill for me. playing guitar slash bass ?? drawing? im not super great at either but i can do it so thats u know. smthing i guess

where were you born?

long island #eastcoastbeastcoast

what are your hobbies?

liie beyond th making music n writing thing i like reading nonfiction books n going 2 concerts n partying??

how tall are you?

5’6” 🩷🩷

favorite subject in school?

auto tech omg it was so fun n im so glad i get 2 do it in college :))

dream job?

well artist / musician still … but im super excited 2 work as a mechanic i LOVE auto tech so much i feel like i say tht so much but i LOVE it ... it makes me so happy !!

tagging @cliffburton @lemonfloatz @therearecowboysinmysoul n any1 who want 2 do it <3

#xoxo #tagged

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miraculousalt · 1 year

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Love how the S5 finale proofed that Adriens life rlly is just handwoven away in the terms LadyNoir was set by Marinette thru season 4. If Chats life threateningly endangered as civilian o in th hands of villains & in desperate need of help physically an emotionally hes not allowed to ask for Ladybugs help n shouldnt expect bein worth gettin help from any1 else of the 70 billion heros on their side either. bc him gettin help equals "leaving LB high and dry and selfishly asking too much of her". His worth in this partnership depends on how little he inconveniences Ladybug. How lovely.

Chats job on LBs side s rlly just to be the 1 team member Marinette has no obligations towards n flawlessly takin care of her while hardly askin anything in return but owing her to remain all isolated n endurin whatever civilian problems he has by himself if something happens. Which it did. Adrien was locked up ina diffrent country under constant monitoring of Monarch an Tomoe who stands above Gabriel & was put thru agonizing nightmares on purpose so Adrien gives in, puts on the alliance ring n stayed completly @ Tomoes mercy while bein kept unconscious by the ring. That woman could have done anythin she wanted to Adrien once Gabriel failed his mission. Adriens purpose in her eyes IS her deal with Gabriel.

But hey it's fine. Marinette made sure Adrien understands that HE needs no help bc thats HER privilege & if he ever needs it it betta be solvable for her with a band-aid slapped on a open wound or a quick save. If its more or even *gasp* inconvenient for her then Adrien owes LB to die quietly n alone. & that Adrien did so nicely didnt he? Complete refusal to ask for any help cuz poor Ladybug can only be ina partnership with her isolated anonymous partner if she gets all the benefits, a second partner behind his back & Chats acceptance that his suicidal tendencies are not her problem. Cuz thats what Adrien did in the finale. He gave up fightin & gave away his only way of escapin or reaching help on the outside thru Plagg.

Cuz well, Unlike Ladybug Adrien actlly has to follow all the rules forced on them bc LB said she gets to be the exception to evrything but hes selfish if he steps one foot out of the line she sets o reinforces.

Thx S5 finale for makin clear what the priorities r in this partnership. This is so fucking awful but I guess it does validate why I lost all respect for Ladybug an her leadership in this "partnership" in season 4.

The LadyNoir terms Marinette "lovingly" beat in Adriens head r nothin short of glorified abandonment. And when evry danger in Adriens civilian life did eventually end up gettin him its good to know that LadyNoir was settled for good in the Ladybug biased way that Chat thinks it's his responsibility to give up on himself an rather wither away in the prison that is Adriens life before asking a single thing from his partner.

Fucking amazing. & of course Marinette gets to teach it to children for almost a decade as a GOOD thing! Guess theres rlly not much else to expect from Marinette an her stories morality.

#Ml salt #Ml season 5 finale salt #ml season 4 salt #Ml Ladynoir salt #ml leaks #marinette salt #ladynoir critical #ladybug salt #i'm tagging it salt fuck off #ladynoir salt #ladynoir conflict salt

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intersex-support · 1 year

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sometimes I badly want to send asks to these kinds of blogs or reach out to ppl who know more abt specific intersex variations than me and try to figure out if theres any name for what I specifically experience. I know I'm intersex, but I'm also so terrified of bein told I'm "normal" and then no longer have a word to describe my experiences and existence I *know* is right, even my gender I describe best as intersex as my experience w bein intersex heavily impacts my gender. my brother is also #confirmed intersex with medical diagnosis and I know some variations can run in families but I also know I probably don't have what he has or at least not to the degree he does as his variation causes wayyy more trouble than what I believe to be the slightly similar symptoms of whatever intersex flavour I am. my main fear I guess lies in that all my intersex traits ppl have listed as seperate things that can be a sign of intersexuality, but I have never met another person who checked all the boxes in the same way- always seemed to be some thing that debunked a variation... but I know there's a lot I don't know about. but fear. and it'd also be a slap in the face too if a more knowledgeable person didn't agree I was intersex as I literally have gender dysphoria from my intersex traits. also I'm terrified to try to bring this up to a doctor cause invasive tests I know would happen, and my variation isn't dangerous, and my issues are still be talked about in other ways. but also. do I even need to know a specific variation?? I don't know. this ask has no point. I am just frettin in your inbox hi. there is some relief though and that when I speak more of intersex experiences, no one seems to question and even agree it be like that sometimes? I am just terrified to talk abt specifcs to any1 in fear of Not Bein Valid. ack.

Hey anon I'm sorry for how long this has been sitting in our inbox, I think you're totally fair in feeling this way. It's honestly really hard sitting between the "I know my experience is this" and "my experience could also be seen differently by others" spaces.

I've seen a lot of us experience this kind of feeling to some degree, even with a diagnosis, because we're made to be so hyper-critical of the labels we use, and intersex is often misused, fetishized, or not taken seriously. I also know that there are people out there with bodies that do not fit within the sex binary, that cannot find a reason for why, but still share their stories in intersex spaces.

There are also so many variations that are under-studied, there's variations that are just being found, just being understood, or considered so rare that they just get lumped into other groups because there just is not the investment in study about these things- not to mention the bias in those who might be researching.

It sounds like you experience a lot of distress over this, on top of what you consider to be your intersex experience. I know people "more knowledgeable" telling you different things can be extremely disheartening, but those people should be knowledgeable enough to understand you are a person who has struggled and needs support and acceptance, whether or not you'll ever be diagnosed, some of us never are.

I hope you're able to come to an understanding of yourself that makes you feel alright, that you don't compare yourself to others in order to feel valid, that you find a way to talk about your experiences so you don't feel afraid and isolated.

#mod stev

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morn1e · 1 year

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Op pls tell us more abt johannes mom pls 🙏

OK ERMM……since she is not around she is not rly that significant? but some key things is that she is half swiss half german, making johanne 1/4 swiss lol. idk what she would specialise in but totally not paediatrics. if she was around i am 94739% sure medic would have never bcome a merc&would have been stuck working as a surgeon @ his old job&never losing his medical license. &johanne would have been a different person.maybe not as much but totally more positive&nicer 2 ppl i guess</3 idk i guess traudl did not lack empathy 4 others especially patients(unlike medic)&was generally a pleasant person around but did not take shit from any1. she had a tough fist when it was needed. she always stood her ground knowing when she is right&if she were alive would totally have the iconic mom stare that would make both medic&their dumbass noob daughter fear her hahah. maybe when traudl was still alive she was that smth medic needed 2 stay ground&not give into his curiosity&do heinous things 2 patients 4 his own amusement?i mean he was always eccentric&wild but when the wife was around he actually thought abt the consequences 4 once&how it would impact others. when traudl died that minimal regard 4 others died in the guy&he bcame even more weird than he was b4 until a breaking point where his curiosity got the best of him&dude stole some1s skeleton. maybe it was justified?*</3 in summary too bad she kicked the bucket. literally doomed the whole family smh

#*i once considered the possibility that medic stole the skeleton of a patient who was actually a doctor who looked after traudl&#by a mix of his mistake+complications she died under his care.so med saw this as a valid excuse 2 take out his skeleton #but idk.sounds too cheesy #‘my wife died under ur care so u r dying under mine😂😂👎stupid ass took ur skeleton&its whole nervous system too.have fun in hell’#man this was so much thank u 4 taking interest in her!!!!!!:)#traudl #ask

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videostak · 9 months

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so sick of having my entire life being dictated by having to accommodate for other ppl who then go to shit on my life even more. like having to watch the doors anytime my dad is in the house having my mom keep every1 up thru out the night and acting oblivious to how someones sleep schedule is affected by the sounds of food being made in a microwave at 12 am or hearing 2hour long drunken phone calls from her room to the hallway to the bathroom to the kitchen etc and having in general let ppl know beforehand what i have planned for a day just so they can reveal that they were never even listening to what i told them or just straight up did not care and do their own random impuse thing that i then have to build my schedule around . like fuuuuuck you. only word on the tip of my tongue atm. genuinely no reason to try to be cooperative or understanding if they dont even ATTEMPT to do the same. i mean atleast i get to sleep in but thats only after they come back at like 1 or 2am. and forget abt me my sister literally works at 10 2mrw and has to get up early to get ready and my mom just shat on that despite my sister telling her immediately she brought up the idea of going somewhere for drinks. i feel so sorry for my cousin who like tries her hardest to be nice or like a inbetween ground just to have my mom creepily vent to her and overall make her feel extremely uncomfortable telling her rly in depth stories and secrets abt ppl who told my mom personal stuff in confidence not thinking my mom would immediately tell absolutely any1 the moment she felt the need to have a conversation. am p sure shes drunk rn cause she sounded very drunk and is just being v loud rn so like im sure she got drunk and then wanted to go to a bar to drink more and not have to worry abt getting caught. :| i mean idk if shell take my sister to work tomorrow but if she is too fucked up too then i guess ill just have to take her. but rly just insanely annoying shit. she refuses to go to therapy or somewhere where u address being dependent on alcohol so i think the only real tangible solution atm is to just give my all to cleaning out her room and then just monitor her like a hospital patient constantly. for the foreseeable future. its hard cause she spends all her time in her room and gets mad when i try to clean it and then my dad gets mad at me when i dont clean it and then when i do clean it my dad gets mad that we dont have any space for half the shit in her room or if we do idk where it goes cause im not even a very good cleaner its just 99% of the stuff falls on me cause no one else does it consistently. so like i just go back and forth at them both giving me shit so fuck everything huh. not in an awful bleak mood but regardless things on both fronts are v bleak. guess im not in an awful mood cause worst case scenario tomorrow i drive my sister to work which gives me more chance to drive and im rly rly looking forward to practicing in my actual manual car... cause its so pretty. so like im not at the end of my rope quite yet and dont think things will get super bleak. worst thing is me losing my job but dont think thats gonna happen quite about yet. and if it does ill atleast have the ability to drive places. so i cant say i didnt grow in some way

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