#i guess im gonna post what i havent through this three years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tears-of-boredom · 1 year

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i started thinking about trauma, and that lead to me thinking about how long it would take me to "get over" the death of someone close to me. i estimated about 3 years, and then tried to think of an actual person who I would mourn like that. only people that came to mind were our cats. everyone else is kind of replacable to me. maybe I'd occasionally remember why i havent seen them around, but I dont really care much about any human...I've had this revelation before,, i thought i was some kind of bad boy because of my "heart of stone". But i now realise that it most likely isnt true, that I cant love a person that is. i just havent really been friends with that many people, for that long. our (oldest) cats have been with us for probably 6 years at least. and while I have actually had one person i considered a friend, for about the same time as well,, we never really connected on a deeper level. we half-joked about it, but we really were just kind of two people, who were alone, together....to be honest i kind of feel bad for not having gotten to know anyone that deeper. i suppose i knew some of their basic interests, but like, I wouldnt have been able to make a music playlist for them. atleast not one that i would've been confident they would enjoy.....that realisation is actually new. not really that I didnt have close friends, but that i didn't actually care about the people around me that much. i mean, i liked them, sure,, but I really just liked the fact that i had people who wanted to hang out with me. it didnt matter much who those people were.

okay im gonna cut this here, because i have a screenshot on my pc that i actually want to add here. i mean, im gonna add it so the same post, and probably delete this paragraph, but still. lol my vent posts are evolving.

okay the specific one i was looking for was a bit tricky to find because i apparently took it through steam, instead of like, pressing "windows button+print screen". and i really couldnt figure out how to see my steam screenshots lol. but heres the one i wanted to add to this post:

(from Our Life) this hit me like two trucks(having sex). like, i didnt quite realise exactly what i was doing back then, but i used to do this exact fucking thing. i only really got two chances to do it though. first was in kindergarten, and i didnt quite "succeed", because i was there for only maybe 2 or 3 years. and the friend pair i tried to "infiltrate" ended up sticking together after all. then in school i did it as well, and at least back then i considered it a "success". i think it started maybe in 2nd grade already. i was already basically in the friend group of three, but i guess i was just really insecure, and wanted to make sure that the other of them, L, was my friend. i developed this hatred towards the other one, N, and started complaining about them to L behind their back. in my mind, my complaints were reasonable, but to be honest, being a bit of a sore loser isnt that bad of a trait. im not really sure anymore if any of the parts of N i complained about were even real, but at least in my mind they were. i did "succeed" in pushing them out of the group. it wasnt a huge deal, since back then, the whole class was kind of a friend group, but still. and L turned into that 6 year long friend i mentioned earlier... I actually really regret what i did. i could have had two 6 year long friends, maybe even longer with the friendship having a different dynamic,, and i also kind of denied L and N the chance of friendship. i know that they couldve still been friends if they really wanted to, despite my stupid sabotaging, but it does kind of feel like i forcibly closed a door that was otherwise wide open for them....actually, telling this story from a bit of a different perspective helped a little... i had been carrying that hatred towards N -born out of something i dont even remember- for a really long time. i feel like doing this finally gave me the chance to see N as a genuine human being, a person. not just some kid that "stood between" me and L's "friendship". friendship in quotes, because honestly i didnt even do anything when i "had L all to myself". maybe for a year it was okay, but then i started to realise that i actually wanted more out of it. i wanted a genuine connection. and i wasnt getting that with L. i honestly probably was happier when N still hung around....i feel really disconnected from my younger self, while simultaneously feeling like i havent changed a bit. its weird...i guess i just really wanted to make up for the attention i wasnt getting at home, but didnt even really realise what i was doing. or maybe i wanted something constant in my life, with all the moving around we did until probably my 6th grade. its not like i changed schools any of those times, but it did leave a feeling of nothing around me being permanent, that still kind of holds on. we've been living in this place for maybe 4 years, and i still havent decorated my room at all. granted, i did change rooms about 2 years ago, but its not like my old room had any decoration either. it just feels like a waste, because i have this mindset that everything i add, will eventually have to be taken down and packed in boxes anyway. my mom has assured me that she isnt planning on moving us out of here, "at least not until shes alone". i guess the effects of moving almost every year since you were a baby, cant be really avoided, when its your reality. i was maybe 2 when the moving started, young enough to not remember the time we still lived with my dad, old enough to remember every apartment (and the one house) we lived in after that......i wonder how many times ive repeated this same story on here..at least this time i feel like its from a different perspective, slightly at least...yeah....i feel like now is time for a jokey comment about how im sorry if my writing is bad, because english is my second language. im well aware that im pretty on-par with a native speaker, at least when im using a text format. speaking is horrible though. re: my previous post about only really ever talking to my cats and no one else. and thats done in finnish,

aside from the occasional thought that comes in english, and i dont feel like translating before stating. my junky "english speaking voice" really discourages me from speaking it aloud, even if i do actually do a lot of my thinking in english.

im gonna end it here, i dont want to ramble on any more off-topic. sorry if you read this lol.

#venting #i did not know that tumblr had a character limit to how many words could be in a paragraph..

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atlabeth · 3 years

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10 things i hate about you part 1 - jj maybank x fem!cameron reader

PART 1 | MASTERLIST | PART 2

a/n: okay so i was not expecting this much attention when i posted the masterlist??? like i gained 30 followers and the masterlist got 200+ notes and i havent even posted any chapters lmao. so now im very intimidated bc i wanna do you guys proud

also! everyone goes to the same school in this to make things easier for me and because i can do what i want. alright lets get into it

warning(s): reader is a total bitch, kinda ooc sarah, some cursing and some unwelcome comments

wc: 5.1k

The beginning of the school year wasn’t something that anyone in the OBX really looked forward to. Living in a vacation spot was great in the summer because— well, you could do anything you wanted. You weren’t one to indulge in kook life, but even you could appreciate the liberty it gave you. But the return to the hellhole that was Kildare County was a death sentence to the freedom that seemed to be all the more fleeting, and it also meant a return to—

“Are you done yet?”

—that.

The banging on the bathroom door followed by your sister’s voice nearly caused you to poke your eye out with your mascara wand, and your concentration was the only thing that stopped you from shooting back with an already prepared retort. Once you were satisfied with your look — albeit taking a bit longer on purpose just to annoy Sarah — you tossed the bottle of mascara back into the drawer then threw the door open, ignoring your sister on your heels as you walked through the house to the kitchen.

“I am now,” you said as you picked up your keys, once again ignoring Sarah as you picked up your bag from the couch. “If you don’t like the way I do things, you can walk to school.”

“You don’t threaten to leave Wheezie at home,” she pointed out, slipping her shoes on and picking her own bag up at the same time.

“Wheezie is actually nice to me,” you countered, pointedly ignoring Sarah’s eye roll while you slipped on a jacket. “You’d better shape up or else she’s gonna get shotgun every time I drive you two.”

Sarah leaned against the table and crossed her arms. “What, so you get to be a complete bitch all the time because you’re the one with the keys?”

You gasped and pressed your hands to your heart, the whole sentiment dripping in sarcasm. “Oh my god, you’re finally starting to understand! Sarah, call Dad down. He needs to know about this breakthrough.”

She groaned and hightailed it towards the door. “Just get to the car so I can get away from you as soon as possible, okay?”

You cracked a small smile as she ran outside, a satisfied sigh following after as you filled up your water bottle. It was too easy.

~~~~~~~~

“So… you excited for junior year?”

Your effort at small talk as you backed out of the driveway was almost completely ignored by your sister, more focused on checking her makeup than you. But after a final swipe of lipstick, she shrugged.

“I guess. Mostly just excited to almost be done at this place. I am so sick of Dad constantly breathing down my neck with everything I do.”

“Yeah, well let me know when you manage to get out of that,” you murmured as you turned onto the main road. Your father was the epitome of a control freak. With an image to keep up and a fortune to maintain, there was never a moment where he wasn’t calling the shots on every part of your life. You tried to avoid as much of it as you could, but there was only so much you could do while still living under his roof.

Sarah raised her eyebrows. “I’m sorry, you’re not the one who has her entire life dictated. I mean, part of the reason I want to graduate so badly is so I can finally get a boyfriend! What’s with that stupid rule anyways?”

Ah, yes. The rule. Keeping up the image of a perfect family meant no room for error, and teen pregnancy fell under the classification of error. Ward Cameron’s solution was the rule: no dating until graduation. It was technically meant for all three girls, but with the way things were, it was more directed at Sarah.

You were fine with it, but Sarah… not so much.

“I will never understand why you’re so desperate to get with one of these kooks!” you exclaimed. “They’re all assholes riding off of Daddy’s money, and they don’t care about you at all. Sarah, they are all like Rafe. Do you really want to get with someone like your brother?”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “First of all, you are so dramatic! Second, that is actually disgusting. Maybe you would understand if you actually gave someone a chance instead of spouting your bullshit every time.”

“You only think it’s bullshit because you’re in as deep as they are,” you countered. “If you actually listened to me for once—”

Sarah groaned and turned the music up, apparently not interested in listening at all as she hit her head against the back of the seat and stared longingly out the window. “Keep this up and I might actually start walking to school,” she muttered.

“You say that like it’s a threat,” you retorted. “Besides, if you hate this so much, then you can catch a ride with any of your other friends.” You took your voice up an octave in a mockery of her own. “The ones that are so good to you!”

“Y’know, you have Cameron genes too!” she said, frustrated. “If you could, oh, I don’t know— actually be a normal human being for once, you would have just as many at your feet! Guys don’t…” she gestured at you. “Guys don’t like this kinda thing.”

You huffed a dry laugh. “Sarah, the day that I change myself for any man on this island is the day that I die. You know, the fact that you even say that is a sign of—”

Sarah groaned and put her head in her hands. “Oh my god, I’m sorry I brought it up! And look, one of my friends is over there! I can walk the rest of the way with him. Now, please let me out.”

“It’s a sign of the patriarchy,” you finished despite her interruption. You continued to talk as you checked your mirrors and pulled to the curb, even though Sarah was already gathering her things. “They only want one thing, and when you can’t give it to them anymore they leave! Every guy on this island is a tool and— HEY, ASSHOLE! STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER!”

She slammed the door shut just as you got the last part out, earning a glare and a middle finger from Sarah which you returned with a mocking smile. If everyone was as scared of you as she said they were, then hopefully that was enough to get whoever that guy was off your back.

Because whenever someone wanted to get with Sarah, they always tried to sidle up to you as well for some reason. It was exhausting, and it was part of why you had tried so hard to earn the title of reprehensible bitch.

And hey — it had worked.

But as you pulled back onto the road, you knew one thing: you couldn’t wait to get off of this fucking island.

~~~~~~~~

Sarah had to hold in another groan as she all but ran from the car to the sidewalk. She couldn’t help the small smile though as laughter drifted through the air, courtesy of the friend that had gotten her out of that lecture.

“Hey, John B.” She greeted him with a wave and the two of them quickly fell into step together. “Please tell me you didn’t hear any of that.”

He chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “You mean your sister going insane on you? Yeah, I heard a bit.”

She sighed and shook her head. “Trust me, that’s not even close to the worst. She has got some serious issues. She was all popular and shit freshman year, but it’s like she became more of the Wicked Witch as she went through high school.”

John B shrugged. “She can’t be that bad, can she? I mean, aren’t older sisters supposed to look after their siblings?”

Sarah snorted. “Tell that to her. She’s too busy trying to ‘topple the patriarchy’ or whatever to actually care about us. Between securing valedictorian and trying to claim the title of ‘biggest bitch in the OBX’, it’s a miracle she has any time to do anything else.”

“But enough about my sister!” Sarah bumped shoulders with John B as a mischievous grin spread across her lips. “I… really enjoyed the time we spent together these past few weeks. It really sucks that school gets to interrupt it all.”

John B really hoped that she couldn’t see the way that he was blushing as a smile of his own grew. “Oh, I uh— I did too—”

In the worst luck possible, John B wasn’t even able to save himself from the stammering mess he had backed himself into when a voice he really could’ve gone without hearing made himself known.

“Hey, Sarah!”

He was almost thankful that Sarah turned away to greet the newcomer as he wasn’t able to hide his visible distaste. In a way, this made sense. Because why wouldn’t Topper Thornton show up just when things between him and Sarah were actually going well?

“Topper!”

He especially hated the way that Sarah said his name — it was so happy. Too happy. John B didn’t consider himself a jealous person, but guys like Topper always brought out the worst in him.

“Good to see you, good to see you…” He trailed off as he finally seemed to notice John B, and the two boys shared a look that Sarah was oblivious to. “Why are you walking to school with this pogue?”

“He has a name,” Sarah said pointedly. “I was walking to school with John B because my sister is impossible to be around for more than five minutes. He’s really my savior, if anything.”

Topper rolled his eyes and slung his arm around her shoulder. “I’ll be your savior any day, babe. Thanks for the warm up Jack, but I can take her the rest of the way.”

Their contest of staring daggers at each other was broken when Sarah stood up on her toes and pecked John B on the cheek, the sentiment enough to melt his icy expression towards Topper. “I’ll see you later, John B?” she asked with a smile.

“Uh— yeah. Of course.” He offered a smile of his own and Sarah nodded before turning back to Topper, and before John B knew it, the girl of his dreams was walking away with another man.

He was in the middle of thinking of ways to get around his kook problem when another voice, this one far more welcome, interrupted his thoughts.

“Dude, did you just walk to school with Sarah Cameron?” Pope asked, slightly baffled.

John B’s gaze didn’t waver as she got further away, and when she turned around for a second and waved he returned the gesture with a small one of his own. “Uh… yeah. I did.”

Kie looked wholly unamused as she walked up next to the two boys. “Are you serious? John B, you know you have no chance with her, right?”

“Kie, you weren’t there. She’s not like other kooks, you know that.” He still had a starry gleam in his eye as he turned back to them. “Besides, she— she kissed me on the cheek before she went off with Topper! And we hung out for like, three weeks before school started. She snuck out for me. Have you heard of her doing that for anyone else? She likes me, guys. I know it.”

“Did you already forget about the part where she walked off with Topper?” Kiara asked.

“I think he also forgot the part where Sarah Cameron doesn’t date,” Pope said dryly. “JB, it’s the first day back. You’re shooting too far, man.”

“She probably just hangs out with kooks to keep up appearances!” John B defended. “And that dating thing— whatever. We can just work around it. I’m telling you guys — she is into me.”

Kiara sighed. “Where’s JJ when you need him? He’s gotta knock some sense into you.”

“I heard he’s already in the principal’s office,” Pope muttered. The bell went off right as the words left his mouth and he started walking backwards towards the school. “And we gotta get to class before we join him.”

Kiara stood on her toes and ruffled John B’s hair, cracking a smile to let him know she was (mostly) joking with their conversation. “Get that head out of the clouds, man. I know Sarah Cameron better than you do, and I promise — you’re better off not trying to go after her.”

John B let out a loose sigh and shook his head as they caught up to Pope. “Agree to disagree.”

Pope shrugged. “Hey, man. If you think you have a chance, I heard that she’s looking for a French tutor. She almost failed out sophomore year, so you’d probably be able to get some good money for helping her out. But, uh… Didn’t you almost fail out of French sophomore year too?”

John B patted his friend on the back. “Pope, my good man, it is never too late to learn!”

~~~~~~~~

The first day went as well as you thought it would.

On the bright side, almost everyone avoided you. The easiest way to avoid drama was to never be involved in the first place, and earning the brand of “tempestuous bitch” was one of the best ways to do it. You were everything that people thought your sister was — a complete bitch with zero tolerance for everyone and anyone — and that was how you liked it.

Everything else was on the flip side. After being sent to the office in first block for a bullshit reason and dealing with the Kildare assholes unwise enough to try and talk to you for the rest of the day, you were more than ready to get home and detox from the hell of public school. But the second you and Sarah stepped into the parking lot, a red convertible pulled up causing your almost instinctive eye roll.

Topper slowed to a stop and gave you that little smirk that made you want to punch his lights out. “Hey, your little Rambo look is out, Cameron. Didn’t you read last month’s Cosmo?”

You scoffed. “Clever. Now, run along!”

“I wasn’t done yet,” he stated, his gaze drifting from you to Sarah. “Can I interest you in a ride?”

You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing, genuinely thinking it was a joke, but as Sarah grinned and opened the passenger door your amusement turned to shock. “Oh my god, you’re actually going with this dick?”

Sarah shrugged, slightly ambivalent as she set her bag on the floor. “I’m sorry that I actually want to ride with someone who actually appreciates me!”

Topper gave you that stupid smirk again and shrugged as he started to pull away. “Can’t even keep your sister? Ouch.”

“Take your head out of your ass before you drive, Thornton!” you yelled as the car sped off, his low blow drawing more anger out of you than you wanted. You huffed and rolled your eyes, trying to push it out of your mind as you made your way to your own car. You would never understand what your sister saw in that prick, but… it wouldn’t be the first time a Cameron had made that mistake.

You grimaced. Just thinking about it was enough to make you gag and only strengthened your desire to get out of this place.

After backing out of your spot you started to leave the parking lot, but you nearly hit some blonde idiot as they decided to run across the parking lot right in front of your car. “You have eyes, dumbass!” you yelled out your window after slamming on the breaks. “Use them!”

You let out an exasperated sigh as you continued to drive. Graduation couldn’t come soon enough.

~~~~~~~~

Your pleasant night of reading and nothing else was interrupted almost immediately by your father coming into the living room, and by the way he called your name you could only assume it was more useless mail. As he walked over to your armchair and rifled through the various envelopes, he glanced at you. “Make anyone cry today?”

You chuckled. “Unfortunately, no. But it is only 4:30.”

His sigh had a hint of amusement in it, but his small smile quickly faded as he handed a letter to you. “This one says ‘UCLA’?”

“Oh my god!” You took the envelope from him and ripped it open as quickly as possible, and as you jumped up from your chair and screamed Sarah came running into the room. “Oh my god, I got it!”

“What are you screaming for?” she asked, annoyed. “Are you dying?”

“No, I got in!” You unfolded the letter completely and held it up for your sister and father to see. “I got into UCLA!”

“Wait, wait—” Ward held up a hand that you almost completely ignored. “UCLA is on the other side of the country. I didn’t even know you applied there— what happened to staying close, working in the family business?”

“That was what you wanted me to do,” you muttered. “This is what I want to do. Moving across the country sounds great, Dad.”

“So what?” he scoffed. “Are you just going to pack up and leave, just like that?”

“Hopefully,” Sarah said with a fake smile.

You raised your eyebrows. If she wanted to play this game, you would too. “Why don’t you ask Sarah who took her home today?”

“Hey, do not change the—” He frowned and turned to Sarah. “Who drove you home?”

Sarah laughed mirthlessly and glared daggers at you while she spoke. “Dad, it was just a boy—”

“Who is a flaming imbecile,” you added helpfully.

“It was just a boy,” she started again louder, the daggers in her eyes becoming sharper. “And I think he’s going to ask me—”

“Oh god,” Ward groaned. “I think we all know what he’s going to ask you, and you know what the answer’s going to be.”

“Come on, Dad!” Sarah complained as she threw herself onto the sofa. “I am the only girl in school that doesn’t date — do you know how embarrassing that is?”

“You’re not the only one,” he said with a glance at you. “Your sister doesn’t date.”

“And I don’t intend to,” you said pointedly. “Have you seen the unwashed miscreants that go to that school?”

Sarah’s laugh this time was more of a breathy show of disbelief. “You are actually insane.”

Ward clapped and stopped the arguing between you two before it could start. “Alright! I think I know how to solve this. The old rule is out. The new rule — Sarah can date… but only when she does.” He pointed at you.

Your self-satisfied smile appeared just as Sarah hopped up from the couch. “Are— are you kidding me? She is a literal nightmare; what if she never dates?”

Ward shrugged. “Then you’ll never date. Ooh, I like that.” His phone buzzed and he pulled it out, putting the device up to his ear as he started a call. “I’m sorry, I have to go. We’ll talk about UCLA later!”

You rolled your eyes and picked up your book as you started walking towards the stairs. “Fine.”

“Dad, you can’t be serious!” Sarah stormed after him but he just held up his hand as he went towards the front door.

“Not now, Sarah. This is work.” As he picked up his jacket and walked out the door, her rage was turned on you.

“Can’t you just pick some random kook to go out with so I can go on one date?”

You shook your head, putting your hand to your heart in fake sympathy. “I’m so sorry that you’ll never get to experience Topper Thornton in all of his misery.”

Sarah scoffed and walked away, no doubt to hate you some more on her own. “You suck.”

You rolled your eyes and took your voice up in a mockery of hers. “‘You suck.’”

~~~~~~~~

John B flipped through his French textbook, muttering words under his breath as he tried to make them stick but only really succeeding in wondering why it had to be French. Sarah Cameron couldn’t really need help with surfing, or history, or even Spanish, which he took for two years in middle school. No, it had to be French.

He was jerked out of his thoughts when someone sat across from him, and he was greeted by the smile of the subject of his imagination.

“Hey,” Sarah said with a smile as she flipped her own book open. “Listen, I wish this could last longer but this has gotta be quick. I gotta make it home for this stupid business opening thing that my dad has to do or something—”

“Don’t worry,” John B reassured with a smile of his own. “We can just get started with pronunciations.”

She huffed. “Yay. My favorite.”

“I mean..” he shrugged as she looked up at him. “There is another way. We don’t have to really… speak French. I heard that The Wreck was having a French special Saturday night, and I was thinking that we could go?”

Sarah chuckled, but not in a way that made him feel embarrassed or like he had messed up. “Are you asking me out?”

He gave her a wry smile. “I guess you could say that. And— I know about your dad’s rule, but I figured since it’s for French, we could get around that.”

Her eyes lit up and she placed her hand on top of his. “Actually, my dad just came up with a new rule! I can date if my sister does!”

His eyes lit up. “Oh, great! Do you like surfing, because I can—”

She stopped him with another sigh. “You heard what my sister was like yesterday, John B. It’s not going to be that easy — she sucks.”

“Oh, yeah…” He let out a loose exhale. “I noticed that when she called me an asshole. Why is she like that?”

Sarah shrugged. “I have no idea. She used to be super popular freshman year, but then it’s like she just got tired of it. And now she makes everyone around her miserable with her special brand of bitchiness because she is literally incapable of interacting with another human being without insulting them.”

“I mean… if all you need to get a date is for someone to go out with her first, I’m sure I could find someone to get with her.”

Her eyes softened and she intertwined her fingers with his. “You would do that for me?”

“Yeah! Of course!” He swallowed when he realized how quickly he had exclaimed it and tried to be nonchalant. “I mean… Yeah. Sure.”

“Do you really think you can find someone, though?” she sighed. “My sister is extreme. You think you can find someone to match her?”

John B bit his lip as the gears started to turn in his head. There was only one person he knew that could go against a girl like Sarah Cameron’s sister, and he had no idea if he would even want to.

“Yeah!” It was a bit forced, but he hoped it was convincing enough. “Yeah. I got this, Sarah.”

~~~~~~~~

“So let me get this straight — you ended up in the guidance counselor’s office on the first day after starting a fight on school grounds, and then you almost got hit by some chick in the parking lot at the end of the day?” John B chuckled as he took two beers out of the fridge and threw one to JJ. “Man, that is not a good start to the year.”

He grinned and shrugged, taking a sip of his beer after cracking it open. “What can I say? I have a flair for dramatics.” He flopped onto the couch and glanced at his friend. “Did yours go any better?”

John B set his beer on the kitchen table and switched it for a tennis ball that he started to throw at the wall. His expression brightened almost immediately, a grin of his own forming. “Oh, man — you don’t even know how good it was. I just… I need to ask you something. You know Sarah Cameron, right?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“So you know her older sister too?”

This time, he snorted. “Yeah. She’s the biggest bitch in the OBX — I’m pretty sure she was the one in the parking lot yesterday. What about it?”

John B glanced at his friend as he threw the tennis ball at the wall again, letting the silence between them linger for just a moment too long before he began again. “...I need you to get a date with her.”

It was a good thing the carpets in the living room were already shitty, because the beer that ended up on the floor after JJ spit it out would’ve ruined them. He gave John B an incredulous look as he wiped his mouth. “Dude, what?”

“I’m not crazy, I promise! I just—” A laugh slipped out as he ran his hand through his hair. “There is something going on between Sarah and I, man, I know it. I asked her out today during our tutoring thing, but her dad’s got this new stupid rule where she can’t date until her older sister does.”

JJ’s gaze didn’t waver as he tried to process it all. “Okay, first of all — you’re macking Sarah Cameron? Dude, that is like asking for trouble! If anyone finds out, there’s about ten guys that’ll kill you on the spot. And second— you think I can get a date with her sister? JB, she is the worst. Are you sure you’re good? Because this idea is as bad as she is.”

John B hung his head back as he turned to JJ, tilting his head as he stared at his friends. “I know all of that, trust me. But she’s worth it, man. I have never felt the way that I do with Sarah, and until her sister’s down I can’t even get close to her without her dad trying to murder me. You— you want me to be happy, right?”

“You are not guilt-tripping me right now,” JJ groaned. “Do you know what you’re asking me to do? She’s a kook, man! And not just a kook, she is like, the kook. People say that she’s worse than her brother, and he’s coked up constantly.”

“JJ, please. I— I will pay you.” John B threw the tennis ball to the ground and pulled his wallet out, causing JJ to laugh as he rifled through it.

“With what money, bro? You’re off just as bad as me. Besides, I’m not making you pay me, because I’m not doing this.”

“She can’t be that bad, can she?” John B threw his wallet on the counter and leaned against it, desperate eyes staring into his friend’s. “You’ve fucked girls worse than her, I know it.”

“Yeah, fucked. I can handle one night stands with girls like that, but man— you’re asking me to date her. Take her out and shit.” He knocked back the rest of his beer and shook his head. “Even if I wanted to, she would reject me quicker than I could blink. You’d probably have better luck trying to get one of those kook assholes to do it.”

“Wait. That— that could actually work,” he said, talking with his hands as he got more excited. “I mean, not taking out her sister, but we can definitely use them! Topper Thornton likes Sarah too— that dude’s an asshole, but he is an idiot and he is loaded! You want money? I can definitely trick him into paying you for this.”

And at that, JJ actually laughed out loud. “John B, that’s a terrible fucking idea. I don’t think Topper and I have ever had a conversation where our fists didn’t do most of the talking. Besides, how would you even get him to do it?”

“You don’t have to do the talking! I can do it, or I can get Pope to do it—” JJ raised his eyebrows. “—I will do it, and he won’t beat me up because he cares more about getting Sarah than throwing a few punches. It— it’s easy. I just tell him that in return for clearing the path, he leaves us alone for the school year. And then he’ll give you a fuck ton of cash to ask out a super hot girl, you’ll do it because you’re the best, and I will get the girl of my dreams. It is the perfect plan, JJ!”

And with that, he couldn’t even stop his jaw from dropping slightly. JJ wanted to tell him that, no, it was actually a horrible plan, but he couldn’t bring himself to. It had been ages since he had last seen John B this happy, especially after what had happened with his dad. And if all it cost to keep him like this was going out with some girl…

JJ pushed himself up and stared at the ground for a moment before looking at John B. “You really like her, huh?”

John B nodded. “This is fairytale levels of connection, man.”

He breathed in deeply and let out a loose exhale, nodding as he came to a reluctant conclusion. “...Okay. One date, after you get the money from that asshole.”

John B jumped up from the counter, far too excited for the promise of one, possibly not even successful date, but too into the illusion of success to care. “Yes! Thank you so much, man. You’re my favorite person from now and forever.”

JJ snorted and got up from the sofa himself, dropping the empty can on the counter and turning on his way to the door to face John B. “Yeah, I know. And as fun as signing my life away has been, I gotta get out of here before I regret every decision I’ve ever made. Also, I already have work in some of my classes and I have to at least fool my teachers into thinking I’m gonna try this year.”

It was like the grin on John B’s face was stuck there, the high from JJ’s agreement not fading anytime soon. “Yeah— yeah, whatever man. Do whatever you gotta do. I will get you that money!”

JJ rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop his own smile as he left, holding his hand up in parting. “Don’t make me regret this!”

this chapter's road rage inspired more by my own frustration in my school parking lot than the movie lmao. no one knows how to drive </3

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee

series tags: @pogueslandia @maybankbby @gabiatthedisco @the-romanian-is-bae @obx-pogues-4-life @oliviajaegerswhore @chaoticrichie @its-simply-fanfiction @80strashbag @sinnerluh

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #obx #outer banks #obx fic #jj maybank fic #jj x reader #jj maybank fluff #outer banks x reader #obx x reader #sadie writes

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hello-yue-here · 3 years

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thank you @chiptrillino for tagging me in a wip game!

not quite sure what the rules are but based off of your AMAZING POST OF ART WIPS (check it out here yall chip is so talented) ive decided to just share some parts of my writing wips that i rlly like because i cannot draw whatsoever lmao

enjoy some lil snippets hehe

from heart don't stand a chance:

"Zuko couldn’t get over her eyes. She was looking past the camera towards the man who took it. Zuko could see clear as day the love she held for Sokka in her gaze.

It was a perfect moment that Sokka had captured. No wonder held it with him at all times. If someone had looked at Zuko like that, he’d never want to see anything again.

As he took in the photograph, Sokka sat next to him in silence. His hand was clutching the ring around his neck again in his fist, pressing it close to his mouth as he peered over Zuko’s shoulder to look. Zuko turned to him to compliment the picture and saw a sad fondness lingering in his eyes."

this is a scene i wrote a while ago thats gonna appear in a much later chapter. but yeah. more yue angst for you guys im so sorry.

from i love you (and that's all i really know):

"Mister Sokka," a little voice wishpered in his ear as he felt tiny pokes on his cheek, "Wake up Mister Sokka."

"Good morning to you too Izumi," Sokka responded wearily as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He looked towards the little girl who was standing on her tippy toes to see over the edge of the bed and poke his face until he rose.

She smiled at him once she realized he was awake.

"Can we have pancakes?" She asked shyly, hiding her mouth just below the edge of the bed as she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

That look was going to be dangerous for him later on, he could aready tell.

"Sure thing, Izumi, just let me sleep for five more minutes, mkay?" He asked as he shut his eyes again. He was exhausted from last nights events, and the sun had barely risen. How did Zuko do this?"

this is a scene from the next chapter of this fic. so much sokka and izumi bonding you guys are gonna explode hehehe.

from cherry (the mailee fic i wont shut up about that is now a whopping 19 pages):

"Mai never had to guess with Ty Lee. She always knew when Ty Lee was happy about something because she would use an obnoxious amount of exclamation points. She would send gifs of people or cartoons making outlandish expressions whenever she wanted to react to Mai’s text with a specific facial expression. Sometimes Ty Lee would even send voice memos whenever her thoughts became too long, or she got too excited about a story that her fingers couldn’t type as fast as she could speak."

hehe i love mailee.

from yours (the mailee sorority fic that i promise i did not forget about):

"Mai lifted her head off the pillow again and met Zuko’s eyes. She studied his impassive expression, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. He did seem like he missed Mai and Azula, so maybe he did really just want to catch up with them.

But Mai wasn’t going to give up a golden opportunity like this.

“Tell us everything about the boy toy as well and you’ve got yourself a deal,” Mai said.

Zuko rolled his eyes and sighed, “Ugh, fine. And his name is Sokka by the way.”

“Nuance. You also have to wake up Azula.”

“No chance in hell,” Zuko scoffed, “You’re the roommate and her fellow ‘pong princess,’ wake-up duty is all yours.”

“If she murders me, it’s your fault. She’s a bitch when she’s hungover.”

“Whatever you say, Mai,” Zuko grinned before returning back to his phone."

i have decided that zuko is a little shit for this fic and no one can stop me.

from Where'd All the Time Go? (the yuekka fic that i have severe writers block with that i also promis i have not forgotten about):

"“Sokka I really think you need to take a moment and-”

“I am fine Aang, I don’t have time for a feelings talk right now. Right now I need to find the fucking chief of this damn place.” His words came out harsher than he meant, but he didn’t have the time to dwell on that.

Before Sokka could run off again to continue his search, a hand grabbed his arm. One of Arnook’s advisors, Malina, had started dragging him towards the podium.

“Do you not realize how late you are for this Sokka? The ceremony was supposed to begin with your speech nearly an hour ago-” she hissed at him as she pulled him along through the crowd.

“Malina I’m sorry but I really need to speak with Arnook it is urgent-”

“This damn speech of yours is what’s urgent right now Sokka, you can speak with Arnook later but the guests are getting antsy so you need to give your speech right. Now.”

“But-”

“Now.”

Maline shoved Sokka towards the podium and suddenly all eyes were on him. Every guest in attendance had their focus solely on Sokka."

homeboy is stressed in this scene. things are slowly going to shit in this chapter. i promise i will update this before the end of the year. i swear. im so sorry.

from a currently untitled jetko/sukka boiling rock fic:

"“Oh good, you survived after all,” She said in a mocking tone.

Jet didn’t answer. He knew anything he said would be used against him. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know what was happening. But he would be damned if he showed that weakness in front of the fire nation.

“I was told you were more talkative than this,” the girl mused. There was something familiar about her, “my informants were very detailed when discussing your little teashop romance.”

I knew it. Jet snarled in his mind, That bastard betrayed me."

i want this fic to be a little darker but idk how good i am at writing darker fics because i love fluff and humor too much. this could be good angst practice for me.

from a toph and sokka fic that i wrote a while back to help me cope w some shit that i dont know if ill ever post:

"“Sokka? Are you still there?” Toph asked, the slightest hint of concern began to slip into their voice

“Tell me a story,” he was trembling. Despite all of his efforts to sound calm, he knew his voice came out trembling and scratchy and pathetic-

“Is everything okay? You don’t sound too hot,” Toph said through the phone.

Breathe, Sokka, breathe. You don’t want them to be worried, you just need to calm down.

“Please, Toph, I just,” he said through shaky breaths that weren’t nearly deep enough for him to be getting enough oxygen, “I just need a distraction. I just need to hear your voice okay?”"

nonbinary toph anyone?

from a 10 things i hate about you kataang and zukka au:

"“What? Something on my face?” the guy asked deadpanned. He rubbed at his scar as if he were wiping off a smudge of mustard, and Aang’s face went pale.

“Stop scaring the sophomores Zuko, this one’s new. He won’t get your… humor… just yet,” Ms. Wu said as she waved Aang off again.

“I’m hurt that you’d imply I’m not funny, Wu. I’m hilarious,” the senior, Zuko, said as he walked past Aang.

Aang let out a sigh of relief knowing that this Zuko guy didn’t seem all that offended by his awkwardness, and darted out of the room."

zuko is a little shit part 2. the amount of sarcasm i have dripping off of heath ledger zuko is glorious. let zuko be a little shit. i havent added to this in months but when i finish some of my other wips i cant wait to get back to this.

i have more wips and drafts saved but none of them have anything juicy or funny or interesting yet because all of them are like less than three pages so far

but yeah, heres a good chunk of sneaky peakys from my wips!

I hope you liked them!

anyone who wants to do this can totally go for it. imma tag @ambykinns @lumities and @flowers-inthepieshop (only if you all want too!!) because this was fun :)

#liv talks about writing #liv talks ab fanfic #liv wips #liv fics #i love sharing my writing #especially when i have a bit of a block going on with well.... every fic #maybe this will give me inspiration!!!#i love sharing my writing im proud of these little snippets and i hope you all likes them as well :)#atla #avatar: the last airbender

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ljbrary · 2 years

Text

2021 fic review 🤠

tysm for the tag AB!! @anxiety-banana 😊

now sit tight while i overshare 🥰✨

total number of completed works: 18! wow i know thats not a lot in the grand scheme of things but its more than i was expecting considering last January i was proud of myself for posting 2 fics 😭

total word count: on ao3, 65,292! but thats not including wattpad or wips ive done this year, so hold on one moment....

oh... oh wow... i have more words in wips than i do in posted works and it comes to about a whopping 67,271 words but thats not including stuff in my notes app or on paper because im too lazy to go through that lmao

but anyway that puts the rough total at... 132,563 words holy crap i need to get a life-

looking back did you write more, less, or the expected amount of fic this year?: MORE DEFINITELY MORE LAKSDJLJDS,F i didnt really expect to write at all really so yeah definitely a lot more

your own favorite story of this year?: dont- dont ask me to choose something i am the most indecisive person i know- especially when all the options are bad ones

okay in all seriousness id say weighted words hurt more than loaded fists (if you know how to use them) because its three of my all time favorite things: rex and ahsoka brotp, pure and unrefined angst, and modern aus.

did you take any writing risks this year?: um id say posting my writing to begin with? considering im mortified of people finding out about this lmao (eg. this summer when my older brother sent this text to me after finding my wattpad, tumblr, and ao3: “so I just found out you’re a fucking nerd. the jig is up.” with a screenshot of my tumblr page and i wanted to either kill my brother or myself but unfortunately chose to do neither and just panicked by digging up blackmail to hang over his head 🤩

do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?: idk, nothing too big probably, but i really really really want to finish some of the wips im super excited about, like this angsty modern au one shot i started like last feb/march featuring anakin and ahsoka that i have sitting in my google docs with no discernible plot yet and 16,110 words

most popular story of the year?: in terms of kudos/hits, lean on me (but let me laugh, first). basically, ahsoka purrs in her sleep, and everyone finds it very amusing (except for her). ill be honest i dont like this one; i dont like the writing but ig people seem to like it well enough?? somehow the only angst-free fic i wrote is my most popular and idk how that tracks but it does ig

in terms of how people have received my fics, ive been told by people that they like it’s not good grief (but it’s better) which is just anakin and ahsoka post wrong jedi arc (and angst, per usual)

story most under-appreciated?: id say weighted words hurt more than loaded fists (if you know how to use them) because its pretty much at the bottom of my stats on ao3 for both kudos and hits yet it if i had to choose one i like the best it would probably be that one

most fun story to write?: OOOH DEFINITELY MY CRIME AU SERIES JSKDHFS

trust goes both ways (or neither) its not the most glorious of writing but hey it was so so so fun to plan and write and- oh hey author look! its not done yet! (im sorry i promise i havent forgotten about it skjdhfdsljfk sorry AB @anxiety-banana 😭)

most unintentionally telling story?: idrk what this question is supposed to mean in all honesty but maybe im just dumb but im still gonna pretend i know how to answer it

maybe when there is nothing left but us (and of course it had to be you)??? because its my first fic on ao3 and yeah i guess thats kind of self explanatory. its basically an order 66 au where (spoiler alert), rex sacrifices himself for ahsoka to escape, and in the process maul tags along -- uninvited, as always.

biggest disappointment?: myself

sorry i couldnt help it it was asking for it.

i guess id say the road to hell is paved with good intentions because i planned it all out and then never worked on it again which sucks because its totally something i want to read but ig thats not happening anytime soon 💀

biggest surprise?: all of them. im not kidding. none of them were planned and all of them were the product of both poor life decisions and even poorer executive functioning skills.

but maybe i’m not here to save you (you will save yourself)?? because its a six of crows fic and id only written star wars stuff until that point, which was in fact like four weeks ago so-

no pressure tags: (sorry if youve already been tagged haha) @ashgryff @ahsokryze @lynnpaper @hannah-schooler @dashedwithromance and anyone else who wants to do it!! 😊

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figuringouthowtobehere · 3 years

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please dont reblog this

i dont have many ppl to talk to. so here i am, screaming into the void that is my tumblr again.

im mostly posting this because im alone. im really really fucking alone. and im hoping i might, idfk, make a solid, trustable connection from tumblr??? idfk. im alone in the world.

please dont reblog this

cw family issues, su*cidality, abandonment, abuse, childhood abuse, trauma, being alone in the world

i have no one to go to. my entire life since i was a baby all ive ever been able to do is survive at the skin of my teeth. and here i am, 20, breathing, trying so fucking hard to live and, idk if im succeeding. im doing my film shit which is cool but. im alone. im on my own. im alone in the world. i never had parents. like, obviously i had parents, but they were never parents, dyou know what i mean? like the people who genetically made me were around but they were abusing me or just being awful or refusing to listen to me about what i needed from them, from their parenthood.

i had a conversation with my mom yesterday (after two days of not being able to get a hold of her and really really needing to) and i was basically just like ‘why cant you be my mom’ and she was like ‘i am your mom’ and i was like ‘well, yeah, but youre not--you cant--you dont mother me. and you dont mother me in the ways i need you to.’ and she was like ‘what does that look like to you?’ and i said ‘someone who i can turn to, always, someone who has my back no matter what, someone who respects me and what i need and who listens to me and trusts my experience and, yeah, someone who i can turn to always’ and she said ‘i mean i can talk with you on the phone, i can tell you what i think you should do, i can try to give you advice from my experience, but as far as someone having your back 24/7 always, i cant do that’ and we ended up talking about how im an adult now - and she was talking about it in the sense of ‘youre a grown man now, you dont need your mom like that anymore’ - and im like ‘ya, i am basically a grown man but i still need my mom. i still need parents.’ and i think im gonna end up cutting contact with her again because its too hard to simultaneously grieve her not being the mom i need and also talk to her. if im not talking to her then i can deal with the idea that i dont have a mother, that i dont have parents and i probably never will.

ive never really had people. i never really had friends when i was a child and i dont really have friends now. maybe its cause im trans, maybe its cause im autistic, maybe its cause im mixed, i dont know, but generally people in the world dont like me or it takes them a long time to not hate me. it doesnt matter why right now the point is i never had people (like, a support system) and i dont now.

so yeah im pretty seriously thinking about killing myself (or, trying to anyway). i dont wanna die but ive spent my whole life trying to just. be a person. and find contentment. and everything in my life ends up going awful or causing me a lot of trouble at some point or another. ive come to expect it. whenever anything happens in my life im just like ‘when will this go wrong. how long will it take this time.’ and im alone. im just fucking on my own. and i know theres lots of people who are and have been more alone than i am/have been and i admire these people so fucking much like GO YOU!! YOUFUCKING DID IT!!! HELL YEAH! im so proud of u. for real, i have so much respect for all yall reading this who have made it through shit and made it through being alone in the world. you fucking got this. youre doing it. good fucking job!!!!! ✨ but then. idk ig it doesnt take away from this being incredibly fucking difficult for me. pretty much everything in my life was fucked from birth to age 18 and now over half of everything in my life is fucked. which is better, for sure, but its still. ive never had a chance. idk it just seems to me like it doesnt matter. i can try and try and do all the therapies and take all the psych meds a psychiatrist might give me and i can meditate all the time. it just seems like im Doomed. (WOW i sound dumb and childish) like ik logically this is probably incorrect, that im not actually just.. doomed but thats how it feels. whenever a good thing happens im just waiting for it to collapse on me. and usually it does in way or another. generally not because of anything ive done or havent done, it just ends up being shit.

and then. ive never had anyone. i dont have anyone. im alone in the world. like its not that im ignoring people i do have or choosing to omit them from my mind right now. i have a singular friend in the place where i live; my other two friends both live in the states. i live with someone who was a support for me until like last ... july or so, i think, who now makes me feel like shit (they arent being malicious its just a bunch of issues in our relationship. theres more on that in stuff ive posted before, if you feel like digging through my posts for a while go ahead and youll find more on that) and i have like 5% (out of 100%) trust for them. i have a therapist who i see once a week and ik shes invested in me, but thats her job. and i cant just call her whenever i want. i have several people for film stuff but theyre either just casual pals and then colleagues or just colleagues. i know a lot of people, who dont really show any investment in me as a person or their relationship with me and who i dont really click well with. and thats it.

and im so. im so in love with Film. all of it. (not The Film Industry obviously.) im so fucking in love with it. the only real concrete reason that i wont end up killing myself in the next like month or two is because Film. and i just. need. people. i need parents. or something. fuck.

i think part of this is probably the long-term ramifications of ongoing childhood sexual, physical, and psychological abuse and never really having good, consistent support cause id be surprised if that didnt fuck with my brain (and, yk, untreated severe childhood brain damage from tbis beginning at less than a year old). but it doesnt really matter does it. ive been through the shit time and again and its not like anyone has appeared and been like ‘hello, i see you never had parents, this is who i am, would you like to get to know each other for a while and maybe i could be your mom?’ cause thats literally what i need. i need parents. like i know theres a thing of ‘if you didnt have parents then you cant undo that damage’ but like idk. if someone has a bunch of unhealed broken bones that got broken years ago that are now causing them a lot of pain you wouldnt just be like ‘sorry, i see youre in trouble from this shit, but because it happened years ago theres nothing we can do’ cause there is??? i forget how i was gonna say this before but like. i didnt have parents. with the ‘parents’ i had its a scientific anomaly i lived past age three. i refuse to believe that having Good Parents and a Good Support System now would do nothing for me. cause it would.

im also facing impending homelessness due to a) welfare/disability programs not giving you enough to live off and b) not having a roommate/not having support systems/not having people. so that doesnt help.

i dont know how to do this. im on my own. im doing all i can. ive reached out to everyone i feel like i could reach out to and. im on my own.

help. i guess. idk what that means but im, once again, at an incredibly fucking AWFUL point in my life and i need help. i doubt anyone will be able to but. if youre able to then. idk. do something. ik that i sound desperate and pitiful and i literally dont care at all because i literally am desperate for support and i literally am at - ANOTHER - extremely low point in my life and its pitiful. im cringing at myself actually posting this because its like ‘you think youre actually find what you need via a tumblr post? where are you? cause thats not real life dude’ but i dont fucking have people to talk to (as you have already understood 🙃) and im tired and tired and tired and tired.

if you took the time to read this i thank you and i hope ur day is going vvv well

please dont reblog this!!

#childhood abuse tw #tw #tw alone in the world #suicide tw #please dont reblog this #no rb #homelessness tw

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wickymicky · 4 years

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while ive been doing other stuff, ive been putting music on, but constantly having to choose a song is annoying, so what ive been doing is just playing my playlist of kpop songs in chronological order lol. like, when i first got into kpop i assumed i’d only find a handful of kpop songs that were worth my time, so this playlist started with only around 10 or 15 songs. well it’s like a year and three months later and it has 380 songs in it, so i wonder how long it’ll take me to get through it... and by chronological order i mean release date. well, actually the upload date of the video since this is a youtube playlist, which usually is the same as the release date except i do know that ioi very very very isnt gonna come till 2018 cause it was deleted and reuploaded lol, but anyway. ive actually been doing this for a day or two, off and on, but im only posting about it now... i’m on 34 out of 380 which for me is blackpink boombayah, august 2016.

you can tell how new i am to kpop still by the fact that i’m only a 10th into my kpop playlist and i’m already at summer 2016... 9/10ths of the playlist was released after that date... lmao...

anyway it’s been a fun little game for me, trying to guess what might come next. i definitely dont have release dates memorized, but for example like i’ll pause at the end of a song before it autoplays the next one and i’ll try to think of what might be in summer 2016 before resuming and finding out. so like there was just nct 127 fire truck and gfriend navillera, and i was brainstorming like “hmmm... when was the last red velvet song? i dont remember rn... another one might be coming up soon... 2016 was uhhhhhh russian roulette? was that 2016? is that coming up? what else happened in 2016? twice did uh.... oh tt wasnt till the end of the year, there’ll be some songs here before that. hmmmm...” and then what came up was boombayah and i was like “oooooh yeah duh of course” lol. and it’s just interesting cause even tho i do listen to a lot of songs all the time, i dont listen to 380 regularly lmao, so revisiting a lot of these that i havent heard in a while is cool. like boombayah, for instance. not my favorite, but it’s not bad for what it is, lol. i think it’s aged fairly well. anyway thats what im up to lol

#things are really gonna start picking up in 2017 though #or slowing down?#2017 is the first year with a looooot of songs in my playlist i think #a lot of my favorite groups debuted then or put out major bops then #2018 is gonna be dense #and then obviously 2019 is gonna have the most just because i made this playlist at the beginning of 2019 #probably about half of the playlist or more is 2019 and 2020 maybe #like half the playlist is stuff that came out after i made the playlist i imaginge #imagine*#long post #i wonder what percentage of the playlist is bsides cause so far there havent been many but thatll pick up eventually #as i get to more albums that i actually checked out

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dulharpa · 4 years

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this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home - bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in 👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow??

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations!

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :((

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’ jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E I T

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol

thank you so much for everything hayley!

#i love you sm hayley!!!! thank you for EVERYTHING #AND THIS IS A FIC REC PLS CHECK HAYLEYS STUFF OUT

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weirdlizard26 · 5 years

Note

For the ask meme? All of them.

jay,,,

give me a sec to edit this post ok

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

wine glasses are like reading glasses except you wear them while drinking wine

i’d say water bottles but only the ones that can handle heat and stuff and not poison your drink with plastic or whatever

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

i havent had a lollipop in a good while so thats my choice

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

havent tried either but boy i’d love to try just a little bit of cotton candy at leastonce

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

bro,,,,,, that was like 10 years ago, how am i supposed to remember that,,,,,,,

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i usually drink soda from plastic cups but honestly? nothing beats the experience of sipping that sweet sweet ambrosia from the bottle,,, but also i’d love to try soda in a can some day!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

idk what half of these would look like but sportswear always wins in my book

7. earbuds or headphones?

ok i actually googled whats the difference and im more of an earbuds person! theyrejust safer i think and it makes me kinda anxious when im home listening tomusic and cant hear anything going on around me

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows! well, unless the episodes are like 40 minutes or a full hour because its hard to focus for that long kfjsndkfs

9. favorite smell in the summer?

pavement after rain and also. grass.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

haha thats a funny joke you made there *starts crying*

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

just a couple of meat+cheese+mayo sandwiches! if its summer mom cuts tomatoes or cucumbers for us and as they start getting more and more expensive we replace them with pickles!

12. name of your favorite playlist?

sorry i couldnt choose!

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

aaaa i love fruit flavored ones!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

aaaaaaaa i dont remember if it was elementary or middle school but we were assigned this really cool ukrainian book that ive actually read before they assigned it. well, nobody here will recognize it but it was Тореадори з Васюківки by Всеволод Нестайко and it was about 2 boys who were best friends growing up in the countryside and they went on adventures and had fun and their friendship made me so happy,,, i guess i was all for cool friendship portrayal even back then! it was mostly laughs and jokes but some moments were actually serious and hit me really hard and i remember them to this day actually

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

its a myth, sitting was created as a personal attack on me

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

my trusty old sneakers!! theyre all black and the sole is very soft and nice

18. ideal weather?

when the sun is out and its just warm enough to show off your new graphic tee and also very soft and nice

19. sleeping position?

i just lie on my left side like a fool

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

notebook!

21. obsession from childhood?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! AND DANNY PHANTOM!!!! i even made a ghost fighting costume once,,,, tho it wasnt much of a costume, it was just fingerless gloves i cut out of paper. they were extremely uncomfortable. but very effective in fighting ghosts!

22. role model?

kfjsdnfk i have a bunch! might sound weird but one of them is bdg i think??? and the other 2 are some online acquaintances whom im too afraid to interact with more often than i do

23. strange habits?

repeating silly lines i hear on tv / in anime/cartoons? and also i never touch food with my right hand unless its plums?? and there are more but. you know. bad memory.

24. favorite crystal?

all of them!!!!!

25. first song you remember hearing?

my grandma used to sing this to me over the phone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPnqqPXQsw

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

go for a walk!

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

slep

28. five songs to describe you?

we are the people by empire of the sun

home by cavetown

strawberry blonde by mitski

smile like you mean it by the killers

afterlife by arcade fire

29. best way to bond with you?

wash your hands very thoroughly and make jokes

30. places that you find sacred?

i see nature i go crazy from how much respect i have for it

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass andtake names?

*wearing hinata cosplay* im here to play volleyball and kick your ass and as you can see ive already played today’s match

32. top five favorite vines?

road work ahead

a avocado!! thanks!!!!!

REBECCA THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

i fell can you help me :(

that vine where ukulele sounds like human voices and people sounds like ukuleles

33. most used phrase in your phone?

idk how to check that??? sowwy

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

the stomach meds ad they keep showing on tv

35. average time you fall asleep?

3am? 4am? idk for sure

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

t-trollface…

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

havent used either (cause ive never traveled anywhere too far away) but the latter looks pretty and i feel like it would fit more stuff

38. lemonade or tea?

depends on my mood!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

dont kick me but im not sure if ive ever tried either ;w;

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

the school’s cat who hates most people actually kinda warmed up to me even tho im terrible with animals

41. last person you texted?

jay uwu

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

afabs cant have both huh

but i want both. please give me both.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all of these sound nice but my lazy ass will always go for hoodies

44. favorite scent for soap?

aaaaaaaa im allergic to a lot of soaps but i like flower scented ones

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

i love all of them dearly but lately ive been more into superheroes i think. im not sure really sure what exactly i feel

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

something really really long

47. favorite type of cheese?

there are different types????

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

i hope im a pear

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

become a good person. thats all.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i dont remember what it was but i remember i was with my friends and we couldnt stop laughing for several minutes and ive never felt happier

51. current stresses?

UNIVERSITY FUCK OFF!!!

52. favorite font?

i like comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

they arent doing so hot tbh, my dermatitis is back again

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i dont have one!

55. favorite fairy tale?

gonna be honest chief, i dont remember too many of them ;w;

56. favorite tradition?

on new year’s we turn the lights off, light up a candle in the kitchen, laugh at president’s speech and only then starts eating

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

getting over a lost friendship, passing high school finals and uni entrance exams and coming out to my best friend

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

singing!! being able to learn how to do most things pretty quickly!!! and i cant think of anything else but honestly these two are quite enough for me

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

uh oh! guess what! i dont have a catchphrase and im very self-conscious about it!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

im torn between sports anime and slice of life

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

because humans dont have wings we look for other ways to fly

from haikyuu

obviously

62. seven characters you relate to?

tsukishima kei from haikyuu

mae borowski from nitw

apollo justice from ace attorney

flame princess from adventure time

donatello from tmnt

sokka from atla

kageyama shigeo from mob psycho 100

63. five songs that would play in your club?

mr brightside, bohemian rhapsody, smile like you mean it by the killers and allof haikyuu ops and eds

64. favorite website from your childhood?

if social media counts, vkontakte i guess?? i didnt really go anywhere else and it still exists and i thriving so im not sure if it should count fkjsndkjf

65. any permanent scars?

yeah, the one from my very first vaccination from when i was a few months old i think and also some traces of when i had chickenpox

66. favorite flower(s)?

idk a lot of flower names but i really like tulips

67. good luck charms?

dont have any at the moment but i’d love to get one!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

whatever fish mom used to buy when we were kids >:(

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

bro my memory isnt good enough to remember those,,

70. left or right handed?

im a righty but i had to become a lefty for like a month when i broke my pinkie

71. least favorite pattern?

i like traditional ukrainian ornaments

72. worst subject?

history :P

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

ice cream + fries

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

idk how pain levels work but i try not to take meds unless the pain is interfering with studying

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

idk but i had a box full of my teeth for so long they turned to dust and i had to throw it away

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

RHNGRHGNRHGRNH EVERYTHING except for freshly made mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

if its green it can stay

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

have never had either of those and i hope i never will cause they sound gross!

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i dont have a license, so.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

kfjsndfks depends on the mood tbh!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies!

82. pc or console?

i WISH i had a console but this is too broke for that,, i played a couple of times tho and it feels more fun than pc!

83. writing or drawing?

please dont make me choose, ive abandoned both and its making me feel bad

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts :O

84. barbie or polly pocket?

idk what polly pocket is but barbie rules!!!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

i feel like sometimes fairy tales are kinda like watered down myths so i have a right to say i like both

86. cookies or cupcakes?

my heart goes to cookies

87. your greatest fear?

finding out im faking any part of my identity

88. your greatest wish?

get through whatever’s going on right now

89. who would you put before everyone else?

mom

90. luckiest mistake?

when i recorded an undertale medley and got a few notes wrong but it actually ended up sounding better than originally

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights……

93. nicknames?

never really had many? my bff calls me mr smith sometimes but thats all i can think of fkjsdnfs but also! steve used to be my nickname before i decided my life my own and i get to choose my name

94. favorite season?

spring ;w;

95. favorite app on your phone?

sudoku

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

my own and my mom’s

98. favorite historical era?

eh im not very fond of the past because not every time period had soap

#wl26 #wl26 answers #flamingerrs #jay just so you know i love you a whole lot #i really did that huh #long post

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mysteriouskod · 5 years

Text

TW: possible stalking, sexual(?) Harassment, harassment in general, toxic masculinity(? I guess), just.. it's about a creep.

So, I didnt really wanna post this. I really, really didnt, but I'm fighting off an anxiety attack right now.

As you guys may know, I've been with out a job since December 2017. I have only recently decided to go back to work, despite not fully feeling ready. I need money, I have goals, if I could bull my way through work at my worst point, I figured I could do it now.

Abou 2 to 3 weeks ago, when I first started working the night shift, I walked to work as per usual. I love walking. It's my favorite way to prepare for or unwind from something. I went to Tim Hortons, a Canadian Coffee shop that made it's way here in Buffalo, before my shift because I was an hour and a half early. After eating a donut, I back tracked to work cause it's less than a five minute walk. I sit on the bench and smoke a cigarette.

Then he approaches me.

Now, I'm from South Buffalo. It's a little neighborhood pretty much right outside the outer city(so like, the outer outer city. I'm a block or so up from where the city of Buffalo actually starts, I think.) I also went to college inside the city. I'm used to weird people from all walks of life.

But this guy felt different.

I took my head phones out to see what he wanted, assuming it was a cigarette. He was visibly drunk, and high off something. Again, nothing I'm not used to. He hung around for about 15 minutes. He spoke in a way that didnt make sense. HE knew what he was talking about, but it literally made no sense. He leaves, I write it off as nothing.

Until Thursday.

I go out for my break around 10, cause the last cashier wants to go hone early. No problem. I really dont give a shit. Like always, I scan the parking lot. Not a paranoia thing, more like a "am I gonna get in anyone's way/How many customers do we have rn" type deal. I sit on the bench.

As soon as I sit on the bench, he approaches me.

Hes high/drunk again.

He again tries giving me cigarettes, I again try declining. He asks my name. I panic and give him my chosen name, cause no one at work knows that name since I cant have my name tag have that name(i hate it but I'm honestly glad) This way, he goes in asking for a Kinsey, no one will know who hes talking about.

Hes so fucked up he cant even say it right.

He asks my age, I tell him 21 thinking "mayhaps thisll make him leave me alone".

His response: "score! I am too..... just add a few"

Now, the man is clearly 40(well, 39 as I learned later). I have no problem with this. I dont give a shit how old someone is. I'll talk to anyone in normally conversation. I am more attracted to people older than myself. If I click, I click.

But I dont know any one in that age group in their right mind who would respond that way. Sure, I do know people who are older and like younger(LEGAL) people, but the difference is they know how to fucking act and dont ducking harass people so that's not my problem here.

I'm legitimately scared.

He gets a phone call, makes a really weird comment about me. Is talking about me like he actually KNOWS me.

The moment he turns his back and walks the other way I run inside and tell the cashier who then tells our manager on duty.

Fast forward an hour.

He fucking comes in.

Theres 4 to 5 other people at my station cause it's the easy scan and the only thing open for people to cash out.

He doesnt really try talking to me.

I get an opportunity after he leaves to call my manager up to help customers, and let him know the guy came in. Gives me a very firm "if you need me, call me" with that like... I really dont know how to describe it. I know the look cause my guy friends have given it to me before. You know... that like protective "I got your back, I wont let anything happen to you" look. Says he will let the over night manager who will be there for the rest of my shift know.

Fast forward to roughly 1215ish, the last 30 minutes of my shift.

Like three people in my store.

He comes in.

Starts accosting me for lack of a better word. Making no sense.

Trying to buy me food. I politely decline. He gets mad at my excuses(that could have been legitimate) Goes on about how nice I am (IM FUCKING NICE TO EVERYONE) Moves to the other side of my stand podium thingy. Doesnt realize I specifically adjusted my stance to not give him an opening. Continues to try giving me food, that im nice, getting mad I'm rejecting him. I'm desperately trying to get him to leave me alone. Even pointing out I think hes too drunk and needs to go sit down which makes him more angry. I consider telling him about my boyfriend.

Then a Male customer (one of 3 people who came up in the time guy was there, whom I was desperately trying to signal via eye contact that I needed help) says bye to me, and I say bye back. You know, my job.

The RAGE in this man's eyes that I DARE give another man attention was staggering.

Cant tell him I have boyfriend, he may get violent.

He finally decides go go grab MORE beer. I call my manager up.

Manager stands next to me, and when guy gets to a scanner, tells me to go to the back.

I literally have to hold myself back from RUNNING.

My manager calls for the other guy on shift who was cleaning the meat room to have him tell me I can come up. I think he did it on purpose so a) guy wouldnt get my work name and b) guy would know theres another man on shift.

I didnt stop shaking until I went to bed that night.

I bought a knife.

I havent touched a knife in over two years for personal reasons.

The guy only approaches me when I'm alone. When it's dark.

No body tried to fucking help.

I'm scared to go to work now. I'm scared that if I take my break outside, like I always do, he will approach me. I'm afraid that he will see me get out of my moms car (or the vehicle of who ever drives me) and come in.

I am afraid and do not know what to do; I need this job.

#harassment mention #tw harassment #stalking #tw stalking #harassment cw #harassment #this is harassment

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ssj4 · 5 years

Note

Sorry to bother you, but I keep seeing posts about a future Goten AU and I keep getting really curious! However, when I try to find links to anything about it I end up at some abandoned URLs.

SECOND TIME TRYING TO ANSWER THIS CAUSE MY IDIOT ASS FORGOT I HAD ONE TYPED OUT AND CLOSED EVERYTHING :)

some disclaimers im getting most of this from an old draft i had written about the au, i havent watched the specific scenes in dbz and dbs that these are based on in well over 2+ years so i dont remember the timeline of events that well so im sorry if some of it just straight up doesnt make sense lol

this whole thing did start out as an excuse to replace the romantic scenes with mai in dbs with goten actually so the truten themes are pretty significant but that aside future goten is a very good boy with a much different personality and outlook on things… much like how future trunks is compared to his main timeline counterpart :3c the whole thing was developed by me and my gf together and we never rly posted too much about it and the broken links you did end up finding were probably from like the one or two times we did but here u go im glad u asked

I HOPE THE READ MORE LINK WORKS ON MOBILE IF NOT IM SORRY

the big change is it starts out with chi chi getting pregnant before goku dies of heart disease or whatever in the android saga instead of the cell saga, so even after he dies in that timeline she still has their 2nd son and he grows up in the future timeline with trunks.

when they were kids (like 10-15) goten was stronger than trunks just bc gohan and chi chi were there to teach him just a little bit. trunks and goten sparred a lot though so he was able to keep up but never really passed him. (that part isnt really important but i figured it was a nice detail that made sense)

thats when history of trunks comes into play, and they both get really serious about gohan training them. the scene in the movie where gohan knocks trunks out before flying off and getting killed is the same except now he just knocks out 2 kids instead of 1 i guess.

i feel i gotta add that this au was created when the future trunks arc in dbs was airing, and mai was introduced as his love interest, and honestly in my opinion the scenes were written really well but i just wasnt digging the fact that before she was granted a younger appearance she was already middle aged, like she was old enough to be his mom if that makes sense. so it really isnt a dig on mai at all cause i love her and id die for her its just the romantic plot that i didnt like. so when that was airing i thought “WELL what if that was someone else”

she’s still with them though in this timeline and she still has her younger appearance!

the future timeline is still progressing the same as it did in canon, the androids still wrecked the place and no one was strong enough to do much about it so trunks is still set up with a time machine to meet with the other timeline. goten stays back and does his best to protect everyone while hes gone just in case

some stuff happens in between here but skip ahead to trunks coming back from the trip after the cell games i guess! lots of stuff happened obviously like trunks literally dying, spending years in the time chamber with his dad, meeting a whole gaggle of clowns that he’d only heard stories about, seeing gohan as a preteen. hes got a lot of stuff to share!!! now hes back and he can take care of the androids + cell + and goten can catch up and lifes pretty good over there! 😇

during the rebuilding period goten would spend a lot of time with chi-chi and ox-king and still slept over there occasionally which she really appreciated, and he invited trunks and bulma over there with him frequently.

despite this he wasnt present when she died as no one really expected goku black to wipe out the landscape so far from the city, but she and ox-king died along with more than half of the population. (ugh god im so sorry queen i love you😓)

as i said before mai is still here and she’s still the leader of the resistance!

events of future bulmas death is the same as well as mai originally intending to go with trunks when they meet up together in an abandoned building. goten is already there as the three of them rest up a bit and start making their way to capsule corp. goten was planning on staying behind anyways but he wanted to see the two of them off. when goku black interrupts them as they arrive, trunks and goten encourage mai to escape, seeing as she only has a gun and everyone already knows bullets arent gonna work.

this scene is the same as it was in canon, where trunks tries to rush black but gets beaten quickly. mai trying to buy him time to let him escape is replaced with goten actually fighting him and taking a hit for trunks but getting knocked out as mai did. trunks under extreme stress from already losing his mom today assumes hes dead instantly, (he has dumb bitch disease, he didnt even check for a pulse in canon!🤔) and fires a masenko to escape into capsule on his own

after trunks pops back in time and black is focused on searching for him, mai sneaks back in to retrieve goten (even though they told her to leave she really just ducked behind some rubble and stayed close, because she wasnt just gonna leave them!)

she takes him back to an underground bunker with other members of earths resistance and when he wakes up she tells him that trunks made it to the time machine and that hes presumably in the other timeline now.

idk if yall remember it well but i rewatched some of the episodes just for this, and trunks in the main timeline believing goten was killed and mai is alone and he wont be able to get back is so sad. and when he spent that day with gohan and his family and cried thinking about how if black hadn’t have shown up, he couldve had a family too… he doesnt deserve to be this sad 😥

skip to when he’s finally able to get back home with goku and vegeta with him and they make their way to the bunker where he sees mai and goten together! the scene in canon where he rushes over and starts spilling his heart out is the same, with him telling goten he thought he died

they get a really sweet hug moment here when theyre both happy to see the other is still safe and it gives both goku and vegeta some Food For Thought, because goku actually didnt know there was a goten in this timeline, and he doesnt really recognize him at first. vegeta has the idea in his head that this is probably goten.

goten never really had any sort of real attachment to his dad. it makes sense hes never met him, hes only ever really heard about him through others, (his mom, his brother, trunks, and probably bulma has mentioned him as well) so he definitely knows OF him its just that, he doesnt know him. so when he sees the real goku standing there for once a lot of thoughts run though his mind, like, “that looks A LOT like goku black!” “thats definitely my old hairstyle” and “holy shit is that my dad?” but the first thing he actually says out loud is “Holy shit its goku orange” and vegeta really almost loses it because cause any doubt in his mind about this kid being related to kakarot just went right out the window cause only someone related to him would say that

and as you probably know a lot happens after that with them all finding a way to defeat zamasu but i dont want to include all of the rest when you can probably just interpret which scenes were changed

ANYWAYS now instead of trunks surviving the apocalypse its trunks and goten surviving the apocalypse. thats why its not a really super romantic deal like Who has time for dates when goku black Might possibly be hiding in this abandoned olive garden?? so theyre just very close and privately affectionate

the ending where trunks and mai get to live in a new world with their counterparts is the same except gotens there with them of course, dbs left their ending pretty open

so that takes care of the story changes, heres some additional details and information on gotens character in this au!

heres his design, drawn by my girlfriend @ssj2 uwu !!

he kept his natural hairstyle for a while, but i think he changed it sometime during the rebuilding period after the androids and just let it grow out a bunch. up until then he kept his natural style purely to honor the guy he’s heard so fondly of even if it brought him a lot of mixed feelings when people said he looks just like him. a really distinct feature about his new hairstyle is that the spikes look like horns and i love that a lot !!

and the shawl he wears was the same one chi chi wore

some personality traits for future goten is that he has a habit of bottling up his negative emotions and has trouble taking care of himself, as hes always more focused on the well being of his loved ones. he can be mischievous and cocky but hes not overconfident (or he hasnt been since gohans death) however in some situations he can be charismatic and assertive which works really well imowhen their timeline is erased and theyre temporarily in the main timeline, goten gets to meet a bunch of people like gohan and his family, chi chi, and even his counterpart

sorry if this post was messy i wasnt really sure how i wanted to make it look and im kinda bad at dumping information out so if any of its confusing just redirect me to it and ill try again gdjfksjdgsfk 😭❤

hmmm anyways thank u for reading!! its an au we made years ago and we love a lot and i hope u do too! be nice pls!! and send asks about it if you’d like cause its fun to think about!

#future goten au #goten #trunks #truten #i GUESS. im shy #long post #made an edit cause i rewatched the android saga a few days ago and i forgot trunks fucking died lol #tumblr stop deleting my tags challenge

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whaleyoufeedmenuggets · 5 years

Note

Im too lazy to look at the questions so DO ALL OF THEM. (if you dont wanna then go on a random number generator and get 5 random numbers)

ITS REALLY LONG BUT I DID IT KJSHADJS HERE GOES i love oversharing my lifealso im putting a read more line bc its hella long

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ehhh depends on my mood. i’d say it’s (dark) chocolate most of the time (love that 70% dark chocolate mmMmMm)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!! except when it gets all over my face and hair o no

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

common report book comments included

- very active

- bright

- “the live wire of the class”

- usually distracted but still does well

- mischievous

- playful

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

bottles so that i can close it and save the rest for later and not have to chug it yeet

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

sportswear #sweatpantsalldayeveryday

7. earbuds or headphones?

def headphones but they’re inconvenient sometimes :/

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! (also, my adhd ass can’t get through a movie without zoning out oops)

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i haven’t experienced /real/ summer (thank u singapore’s tropical climate) but i rly like the smell of rain :”)

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

making up excuses to skip pe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

belvitas before morning practice

croissant sandwich and chocolate milk after practice

if there’s no practice, then scrambled eggs from the dining hall lolol

if i’m too lazy to go to the dining hall, then cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist?

it’s literally called jams and the description is “a clusterfuck of stuff i’ve jammed to at some point”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

gummy bears/sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

death of a salesman - arthur miller

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

with one foot up on the chair and the other leg sitting normally

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

a pair of asics sneakers

18. ideal weather?

15ºc/60ºf when its like cool but not too cold but also not ridiculously hot and also when theres no insane wind (a light breeze is fine)

19. sleeping position?

on my left side and hugging a pillow/bolster/soft toy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like the feeling of pen and paper but im disorganized as hell so an apple pencil + ipad makes a good enough substitute

21. obsession from childhood?

frogs (i’ve loved them since i was 3 hehe)

22. role model?

a dude i used to train with for a while in 2014. he retired last year but he’s always looked out for me like an older brother since we trained together (he’s 8 years older than me lmao) and even thought i’m so far away rn he still checks in on me and stuff and idk he’s probably one of the swimmers i respect the most.

23. strange habits?

i cant fall asleep at night if im not hugging something. like. it could be a pillow. or a soft toy. literally anything. once on a school trip i hugged a pair of sweatpants to sleep bc i legit cant fall asleep if im not hugging something.i have no problem falling asleep in class/on buses/cars/planes though.

24. favorite crystal?

idk i never really paid enough attention to crystals to actually have a favorite and know their names. they’re all rly pretty tho.

25. first song you remember hearing?

uhh h h i honestly can’t remember. probably some classical music bc i played the violin and that was my first experience of music that i was actually aware of????

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

switch on the aircon and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch. and swimming outdoors i guess.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

switch on the heater and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch.

do u see a pattern here

28. five songs to describe you?

jet lag - simple plan (bc time zones suck and i miss my fam & friends)

avalanche - bring me the horizon (pretty much sums up how tf my brain feels)

high hopes - p!atd

astronaut - simple plan

the reckless and the brave - all time low

29. best way to bond with you?

doing dumb shit with me

also Quality Time™️ like idk even if we’re chilling and doing our own shit i like just spending time with people im comfortable enough with

30. places that you find sacred?

idk

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a hoodie and sweatpants

for no reason other than that’s what i wear 90% of the time

32. top five favorite vines?

I AM CONFUSION!!! AMERICA EXPLAIN

this bitch empty. yeet.

im in my mom’s car VROOM VROOM

the one of that dad playing the saxophone (???) and the kid slamming the oven door open and shut

road works ahead “haha yea sure hope it does!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either lmao or lolol or LMFAO or yeet

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

gOD i had spotify ads stuck in my head all the time before i switched to premium and now i cant remember any of them (thank god)

35. average time you fall asleep?

i’d say 12:30-1ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

the tROLL FACE MEME LIKE those rage faces idk what they’re called but BASICALLY THOSE 2010-2012 era memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!!! i like sitting on them and yeeting myself around on them or getting people to push me around and then falling off

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

ngl i havent had either of them before

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

so in jc2 (aka 12th grade), for some reason PEOPLE WERE PUTTING PRE-PACKAGED HARD BOILED EGGS ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. like they were still in their wrappers and all but u could open ur schoolbag and find like 5 eggs in there. and no one knew where they came from. i think at one point there were even eggs hanging from the pull-up bars. all i know is that they were everywhere and people in my batch still remember it as the egg invasion of acjc.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

def jacket!!! especially when they have zips hehe

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

idk man depends on my mood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi bc im a fricken nerd

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

shirt and sweats

47. favorite type of cheese?

cheddarrr also i like mozzerrella sticks

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a fineapple B)

lmao jk ummmm maybe a watermelon bc when u hit it it sounds hollow, just like how my skull would sound if someone hit it (h a)

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

here for a good time not for a long time

never give up without a fight

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk probably some dumb meme. i laugh at a lot of stuff like i laugh anything even mildly funny. some that i can think of off the top of my head are:

- i was tryna type ducky but typed fucky instead and sOmEOnE (could be the person who submitted this ask, idk tho) changed my facebook messenger nickname to fucky and the notification was like ”poopy butthole changed your nickname to fucky” and i think that’s still the funniest sentence i’ve read in my whole life

- one time we went to mcdonalds and a friend said mcfluffy instead of mcflurry and idk why but i laughed so hard at that

- once @doduo and i spent half a chinese lesson cutting out random faces from the chinese newspaper and sticking them randomly all over the classroom and idk. it was the funniest thing ever. until the teacher came over and confiscated my scissors rip.

51. current stresses?

- an essay draft (that i am procrastinating rn by doing this, oops)

- CANADIAN TRIALS (but thats a good kind of stress)

- submitting a proposal for a group project but none of my groupmates are freaking replying my texts ugh

52. favorite font?

avenir next!! i find san serif fonts way easier to read than serif lolol.i like helvetica neue too.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry af but also i just got my nails done so they pretty rn hehe

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i…havent had a real job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk i was never rly one for fairy tales even as a kid.

56. favorite tradition?

chinese new year when we get CASH and we spend 3 days just eating junk yEET im rly sad im gonna be missing it the next few years tho

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hh h h hh hhh hh hh they’re pretty personal i don’t /really/ wanna put it out here but i can text you the answer to this if you want (i’m perfectly fine with that!!)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

- i think i’m pretty intuitive!!! i can guess anyone’s mbti if i’ve spent enough time with them/gotten a detailed enough description of them /winks/ and i can read people pretty well in general and i can draw links to themes/symbols in lit pretty well….???

- i’m somewhat decent at lettering…i think

- i’m good at pull-ups and also vertical jumps i’m secretly a froge

- i’m decent at photography…i guess….

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

yeet

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

pokemon !!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

/sweats/ i’m not very good at remembering lines from books/movies/shows WELP

62. seven characters you relate to?

JAKE PERALTA - b99

rosa diaz - b99

linguine - ratatouille (he’s permanently confused and he let a ratto take over his job bc he had no idea what he was doing like damn what a big mood)

dory - finding nemo/finding dory (i relate to the forgetfulness)

percy jackson

kale bae /winks/

mitt (during bad phases) /winks again, but sadly/

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idek man i wouldnt even be at my own club i’d be at home taking a nap i’ll just ask someone else to handle my playlist

64. favorite website from your childhood?

club penguin !!!

65. any permanent scars?

yE one of them was from jumping onto a treadmill going at 13km/h 2 years ago bc i thought i was a good idea

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont have any

67. good luck charms?

i eat pancakes for breakfast on meet days!!!! altho i think this is more of a habit than a good luck charm tbh lmao.

also i guess pip???? he’s my emotional support narwhal :’)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

durian. i cant stand the stuff or anything flavored like it ugh.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

red food coloring is derived from beetles

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

overly-floral patterns i guessssss. also i hate wearing stripes.

72. worst subject?

chinese

besides that, math and physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i rly like vanilla ice cream and fries

also i would eat ketchup with nearly anything

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i usually just suck it up and go to sleep when it comes to pain but i guess an 8??? idk. i usually take advil/ibuprofen only for fevers

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got my first loose tooth on january 11 2005 and it fell out on january 18 2005 & it was a tuesday (pls don’t ask me how i remember this bc i dont know)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

tater tots

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

cactus i guess. idk im not good at plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

grocery store sushi (it was pretty decent in singapore so yeeeee lmao also i ate a lot of that as a kid)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

its the same photo for both so yeAh

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

idk i always called them fireflies

82. pc or console?

console I LOVE THE FEEL OF BUTTONS

83. writing or drawing?

drawing (more like doodlign for me bc i cant draw for shit)

84. podcasts or talk radio?

neither but if i rlllllly had to choose then podcasts i guessss s sss

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither LMAO i gave all my barbies haircuts when i was a kid bc i didnt know what to do with them

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology for sure!! i love greek mythology (may or may not be bc of percy jackson lolol)

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

losing those i love and care about (could be drifting or actual death it goes both ways)

88. your greatest wish?

rn, for my essay to write itself

for the short-term, to make the olympics (and WUGs…and worlds…and sea games…and asian games…and commonwealth games lmao)

for the long-term, uhhh idk. i just wanna live a life i’m satisfied with and to have a job i actually like and to be able to support my parents

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my mom

90. luckiest mistake?

i always say that i regret doing a year of college in singapore instead of coming here for freshman year but if i’d come in a year earlier like i was supposed to, i proba wouldn’t have made it past swim team tryouts and i made some pretty great friends in my first year of college soooo it all worked out i guessi cant think of any others rn

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights are rly pretty!!but i like natural light :”)

93. nicknames?

deb

debs

debo

debbo

alpha childuhh h h i think thats about it??? i cant remember any others

94. favorite season?

spring’s pretty great rni like fall too (before it gets cOLd)

95. favorite app on your phone?

insta/tumblr/telegram

96. desktop background?

a photo of me looking rly cool at the starting blocks before a race B)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4 - mine (singapore & US), my mom’s and my dad’s

98. favorite historical era?

uhh h h idk the ice age seemed pretty cool haha sike it was actually coldmedieval times seemed pretty cool too like damn i want a suit of armorWHEW I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS but i had fun so yeet

also if you read all the way down here ily and you’re cool

#ask #this was hella long #but also hella fun

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