#i had a dream about it and just woke up and posted don't judge

[urf1lterr]

lovesick | pedro pascal [4]

"and on this night and in this light i think im falling, im falling for you."

previous chapter: [3] series masterlist

summary: in which a 1975-obsessed film student accidentally falls in love with an older man she can't have.

pairing: actor!pedro x intern!reader

genre: acting world!au, big age-gap!, strangers to friends- maybe lovers?? au | angst, mature, awkward, love- eventually

word count: 10.6k

status: in progress

author's note: so sorry for the long wait! but i tried making this chapter longggg. i typically have my days off altogether and the rest of the week booked with work/school. i try to post many chapters within my short timeframe (bc im booked af) so pls expect another update soon after this one! sadly, it takes me around 8-10 hours to write one bc its hard to think lol. also, i don't want this to be too long of a series and kinda wanna connect the dots- slowly but surely, ya know? not edited.

"So, he just came knocking on your door at 6am?" Joon questioned, taking a sip of his smoothie soon afterwards. "I can't even wake up that early."

"We had to do that everyday for our last job."

"I woke up ten minutes before I had to be out the door," he shrugged. "Men get ready fast."

"Anyway," you eyed him as he cluelessly did the same, confused as to why you wouldn't look away. "I don't remember him coming."

"Yeah, because you fucking freaked out and hallucinated over Lady Gaga," Jules exclaimed, you automatically cringing just at the horrible memories you've recently faced with that damn cat.

Once she explained what had happened hours after you had woken up, you were disturbingly shocked.

And the fact that your sleepiness was to blame had you going insane- imagine all the other odd things you may had committed while under the covers.

But you will admit you did remember some of that night's events clearly, again like you practically making out with Lady Gaga- although she was the one who licked your face endlessly first.

Mortified just by the thoughts, you will never be able to face Pedro again sanely.

How could you when you recently dreamed about a man 25 years older being intimate with you- that's...confusing. And the worst part of it all was you couldn't say anything to anyone with the fear of being judged or laughed at- maybe both.

The thing was you couldn't quite understand why you had to dream about that. Maybe your time of the month was coming and your hormones targeted the first guy you had nonstop contact with?

No, that would've been Joon.

Attraction may had played a part but Joon definitely had that, Pedro as well but a little different...age-wise at least. There's no way you felt allured for men with bad jokes and rough skin- no offense. Right?

He did text you that same morning he dropped by and commented on how creepy you are half asleep and whether or not you agreed to his 'business' proposal. Not trying to start a conversation you knew you couldn't finish, out of second-hand shame, you just replied a simple:

LOL but busy with school atm to make a final decision- tell ya later

That later still hasn't arrived.

Unfortunately, you forgot to ask him why he made a random visit that morning- but you weren't going to ask him days later. In your mind, you need to avoid him. There's no way you'd be able to act normal after have unholy fascinations about him.

Not that it'll be a problem, you two hadn't seen each other for weeks before your cafe encounter, you're sure you can do it again without him noticing your distance.

It's been about two days since then which meant you didn't have to prioritize so much of your time on homework, you'll just save that for Sunday when it's all due.

"Did you bother to ask him why?" Jules added, turning to you. "He obviously wasn't coming to see me- I barely know the guy."

"You do know him!" you argue as she rolls her eyes. "You literally got mad at me for not recognizing him the first time we met."

"He's a celebrity- everybody knows him," she defends before tilting her head in curiosity. "But you two are oddly close, it's kind of weird."

"No," you shake your head, trying to laugh off her suspicions. "We are casual friends who fan girl over the same things."

People did take notice how close Pedro and you were but it wasn't anybody's fault you two had so much in common. Both of you loved Starbucks, going on hikes- when you weren't lazy, and believe Matt Healy is extremely attractive.

If they have a problem with that they can sue you.

"I see it," Joon adds, jumping up a bit. "Him and I barely talk and we're men- we should be bonding easily!"

"You're...you," Jules cringes, making Joon glare in return. "I can understand why he chooses not to be close to you."

Laughing, you watch as Joon quickly flips her the finger before he continues on with the conversation. "I just feel like he always comes around only to see you, it was pretty obvious since the first time he took us home."

Furrowing your eyebrows, you didn't understand what he meant by that. Pedro offered all three of you a ride home, not just you.

Already feeling done with this topic, you wanted to switch it before things started escalating and freaky theories started unfolding. They had every right to question your friendship, but you were starting to think they might be leading down a road where they may soon develop other impressions as to what your friendship might have been.

Why are you even thinking that? That's so inappropriate to imagine.

"You two are silly, he probably needed my advice on something or wanted to workout," you suggest, their faces showing they weren't fully convinced. "But anywho, did you call Yoongi yet?"

"I don't think that's a great idea," Joon declared, adjusting in your warm sofa. "He's not really a skating kind of guy."

Since it was Friday and you had no plans, you thought it would be a fun idea to be adventurous for once and do something you would never do on a regular basis.

Ice Skate.

Your friends were extremely down with the idea, but you needed a fourth person to make the group complete. Why not a skinny, impatient blonde man who would probably spend the whole night complaining about why this plan was awful?

Right now you could use some other grumpiness in your life.

"Just tell him to go," you beam back, clapping your hands in excitement as you'll soon be able to fall countless of times on the ice. "I'll buy him hot cocoa."

"You better do it or he'll never let that go," Joon states.

After hours of sitting around and blasting random music through your speakers, the three of you were ready to set off on your journey of locating the ice rink.

If it wasn't for Joon's constant whining to stop walking to take pictures of the scenery you probably would've arrived 15 minutes sooner than your actual arrival, but too bad your friend is a nature freak.

"You taking pictures of the pigeons better not be the reason why you're late," you heard Yoongi grumble as the three of you finally found him sitting on a bench near the entrance of the rink, staring directly at Joon who just scoffed.

"I'm sorry if my happiness bothers you," Joon snapped back as Yoongi just stood up from his seat and made his way to your trio.

Grabbing your ice skates wasn't too difficult as the long line seemed to flow by smoothly, but standing on them was a different story.

"I can't do this," you squeal as your hurriedly motion your arms around to find some balance. "I'm falling!"

Yoongi sent you a questionable look as he watched your poor attempts to stay still embarrassing. "We're not even on the ice yet."

Feeling a hand grab a hold on your shoulders and practically drag your feet towards the ice, you glance up to see Jules steadily directing you to face your fears.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Are you going to push her in?!" you hear Joon gasp a few feet behind you but you couldn't turn your head as you rather focused your attention on yanking yourself off of Jules.

"It was her idea so she'll be the one going in first."

"Ahh!" you screech, putting all your pressure on your feet to stop her hard pull. Spiraling your ankles in the most crucial ways, you start to lightly slap her arms off you as she continues to fight them off.

One thing about her was she's going to make sure to remind you that this was your idea.

Feeling an arm gently tug you off her grip, you landed on Yoongi's side as Jules whined in return, offended that he ruined her vicious plan. Respectfully, he kept you stable with an arm wrapped behind your middle back as you gripped his other one, fearful she might snatch you away again.

"Why would you do that?!"

"I don't think watching her fall face first on the hard ice would be a fun sight to see," he bluntly returned as Jules huffed. "The sight of blood gives me the ick."

"I was waiting for that moment all afternoon," Jules sighed, disappointed that she wouldn't be seeing you fall- yet.

Waiting for her to walk away to go on the ice, you see Joon follow her before you released your friend, relieved that she wouldn't be partaking in her scandalous scheme just yet.

"You do know how to skate, right?" Yoongi asked, his uncertain eyes on yours as you crazily wave your arms in front of him to rub off his questionable thoughts.

"Do I? Of course I do!" you argue, making your way towards the ice until you were two feet away from it. Putting your feet on the edge, you hesitate as you could feel the cold breeze wrap around you legs. "I'm gonna go now."

"Yippy," he states, waiting at your poor attempts to convince him.

Giving him a thumbs up, you clap your hands together to try to reassure yourself that you could do this, forgetting that he was right behind you secretly laughing.

Taking one final breath, you placed your right foot on top of the ice steadily, trying your best not to make any harsh movements, until you felt a hard jerk on your upper body, making you lose yourself in an instant.

"God, if you don't know how to skate why would you suggest it?" Yoongi grumbled, gliding both your bodies along the ice as he held tightly onto your arms. You were practically skating like a wet dog in front of him, begging with your eyes for him not to abandon you.

"I always wanted to try."

Sending you an annoyed look, you zipped your mouth as his arms were now securing you, closing any gaps there may have been and giving you the ride of your life.

Shutting your eyes harshly, you didn't dare to witness the environment around as you felt the icy wind slap your face the faster you two- or at least by Yoongi's swaying, got.

There were times where he did pretend to lose his balance, causing you to cry in horror and him immediately placing his hand over your mouth by how loud you weaped.

But other than that, you came to enjoy his help as your two other friends rudely abandoned you guys in order to practice their poor attempts of leaping across the rink.

"Okay," Yoongi started, releasing his left hand from your side and keeping you close with only his other. "Now you try on your own."

Fear creeping up in your face, you rapidly shake your head in disagreement and try catching his recent abandoned arm, which he denied. "I can't."

"Can't or won't?" he countered back making you silent.

He did have a point.

"C'mon, it's not that hard. If Joon could do it, you can."

"He's literally on the ground right now," you whine as Yoongi quickly averts his eyes in search of your tall friend, soon finding Joon clutching his knee in pain as Jules records on her phone.

"No."

Sighing, he continues to look around, trying to plan out an idea that would at least convince you to slide a few feet alone without his help until he smirked and met your eyes.

"What would Matt Healy do?"

Widening your eyes, you were taken back by his question.

Only Pedro used that line on you.

And for some reason it felt odd when Yoongi did the same. You shouldn't be bothered by his choice of words...but you were a little.

He wasn't him to be saying it.

"He wouldn't force me to do something I didn't want to do," you reply back, causing him to groan.

"I feel like you just want to be in my arms," he retorted with a grin, immediately making you revolt and fly out of his arms, your bottom hitting the ice hard. "Well that's one way to make you skate."

Feeling immediate pain on the back of your thighs, you just knew you were going to be bruised and swollen the next day. But hey, this technically counts for your workout for the week.

Awkwardly swaying your body around, you couldn't get up off the damn ice. You were sure you looked like a fish out of water by how crazy you were moving.

"Get on your knees," Yoongi commented, causing you to send him a death glare as he lifted his hands up in defense. "It helps you stand."

Or he could just grab your arms and help you himself.

Cautiously following his suggestion, you slowly pull your right leg up and place it firmly on the ice before slowly trying to do so with your left one. As you began to feel satisfied with the weight being supported, you felt your body finally working and lifting up off the ground before he poked your shoulder- making you fall again.

"I'm going to murder you!" you threaten as you stare at him on your back, whole body restlessly laying on the ground in misery as he cackles loudly.

He may have advantage on the ice, but oh man- once you regain your balance off it you were going to end that slender man's life.

"Isn't this just a sight to see," you heard someone exclaim before hands grab your arms and soon lift you back on your feet.

Moving your eyes to the ones in front of you, you burst out in smiles. "Bella! Nico!"

"I take this as my queue to leave,'" you hear Yoongi mumbles but you swiftly grab his arm from his close proximity and halt his plans.

He was not going to desert you now.

"What are you girls doing here?"

Not seeing them for a few weeks didn't make things awkward, but different. It was like catching up with old friends, even though you barely met them less than three months ago.

"Had nothing to do tonight so why not ice skate?" Nico giggled.

Bella examined you up and down before pointing at your head. "My god, your hair grew so long. Has it really been that long?"

Rolling your eyes, you were about to answer her before Yoongi cut in. "No, it's her fake extenstions."

Gasping, you turn your body to him and smack his shoulder as he smacks you back. One thing about him, he's all about equality. You touch him, he touches you- simple.

You don't see the way Nico and Bella exchange smirks to one another before Nico slides in front of you and pulls out her phone. "We should take a selfie! You know, for memories."

Laughing, you agree. You took some pictures with them but never really out of the work environment.

Uncomfortably standing still, Yoongi hastily moves to the side a bit, not wanting to intrude this moment you were having with your friends. He was a pretty sociable person, but only if they had things in common and he fairly knew them.

Yoongi didn't know these two young girls and he sure as hell didn't want to be the one being kicked out of this picture- so why not kick himself out first?

"Where are you going, we need your long arm to get us all in the frame!" Bella exclaimed, motioning Yoongi to move back as he sent her a flustered glance.

"I can just take it with the three of you."

"Nonsense!" Nico argued back, shaking her head as you giggled. "We don't leave people out."

Biting his bottom lip a bit, he scratches the back of his neck swiftly before increasing the speed of his skates to the girl, accepting her phone. "I suppose."

Fixing your posture, you stand behind your friend as he carefully raises his right arm up in the air, positioning the phone that was able to capture all four of you in the frame.

Pulling out the gummiest smile, you bursted out a gigantic grin after seeing the rare radiant expression Yoongi was giving. He was never one to show much emotion so finding him giving in for a picture amused you.

Taking the phone out of his hands, Bella examined the screen before chuckling. "Wow, you've got one adorable smile."

You could've sworn you saw Yoongi blush as he lowered his head while shaking off her compliment, trying to act natural but he wasn't fooling anyone.

He was shy.

Gasping at the sight in front of her, Nico pointed at the concession cart near one of the exits of the ice. "They have hot cocoa! We must get some."

Faking a groan, Bella allowed her friend to drag her away but not before sending you a pout to follow, which you were happy to do. You were freezing to death without even realizing it until you stopped your attempts to skate for the picture.

"I was promised a free cup," Yoongi stated as he was gliding behind you, softly pushing your back as you proceeded to do nothing but allow him to direct you to where your desired hot cocoa was.

Scoffing a little, you shush him as you reached the exit ramp. Jumping off, the two of you slowly waddled to Bella and Nico who were next in line.

"Wait," you start, pausing your footsteps which resulted in him almost falling after slamming to your side. "Shouldn't we ask Joon and Jules if they want one?"

Peeking over your shoulder, Yoongi looks back down to you. "Nah, don't wanna ruin their fun."

Following his recent glance, you could see Joon and Jules in front of one another, both holding hands as they try to catch a faster pace while twirling in big circles.

You were sure they were eventually going to knock a small child over soon.

"Next," you hear the worker call out, sitting behind his register waiting for your arrival.

Quickly walking up, you place your order as nothing else but the hot drinks seemed to interest you. The total came out to be the cost as what four drinks at your local cafe would be, but you shouldn't be surprised since this place was pretty popular to the public.

Pulling out his wallet so fast, you didn't have to process what Yoongi was doing until you caught the view of his credit card as he handed it over to the man in front of you.

"No-" you try intercepting what had just happened by giving your card to the worker who just shrugged as he had already paid for the drinks on Yoongi's card. "Why would you do that?"

"You're too slow," Yoongi bluntly said as he grabbed the two drinks and moved to the side so the next person in line could place their order.

"But it hadn't even been three seconds since he said the total before you handed him the card," you protest.

He handed you your cup, hoping it'll shut you up as he took a small sip from his own. "And?"

Is he being serious? "'And,'" you question as he continued to be unaware as to what you were getting at. "Since the beginning I vowed to buy you hot cocoa."

Yoongi laughed at how stubborn you were becoming. "Vowed? What a great word choice for this scenario, fiance."

Rolling your eyes at his teasing, you hated the fact he was avoiding your question. You knew he did it because he wanted to be a gentleman, but the problem was he didn't want to admit he was one.

Again, he was being shy.

"I see you are kind," you smirk as he gave you a disgusted glance. "Don't worry, I won't tell people you have a heart."

Before he could leave a snarky comeback, Nico and Bella came back in giggles as Yoongi retreated back to his natural state of looking lifeless. "Oh my gosh- we went to get napkins and I kid you not I may have poured my drink on the back of this poor little girl."

Lightly gasping, you widen your eyes as Yoongi confusingly replies back. "May have? You don't know if you did or not?"

Bella makes an accountable face, scrunching her nose in the process. "Okay, I did. But she's the one who ran into me!"

"Well, she was really small and you kind of didn't search your surroundings before kneeing her," Nico exposed, causing Yoongi and you to give each other a concerned look.

"You kneed her?!"

"Only in her side," Bella excused herself, sending Nico a betrayed look. "It wasn't like it was her stomach."

"It practically was...," Nico mumbled but became silent when her co-star eyed her hard.

Coughing uncomfortably, Yoongi caught everyone's attention as he tried to avert the conversation into something that wasn't as horrific as striking a child with hot cocoa and a knee. "We should probably hit the ice again soon before Jules and Joon find out we got these drinks without them."

"Jules is here?!" Bella beamed, searching around for her through the large gatherings of people on the ice. "I missed that crazy lady, she was the only one who would get my coffee order right."

"She told me she would threaten to get the baristas fired if they kept getting it wrong," Nico recalled, chewing her mouth a little. "That's why I stopped letting her take my orders."

Sighing, you looked up in the ceiling in disapproval as you could feel Yoongi laughing his ass off beside you. That was very Jules of her to do.

After another two hours of trying to figure out how to skate, and basically latching onto Yoongi the whole time as Bella and Nico were doing laps around you guys, you finally made it home.

To say you were exhausted would be an understatement- you were drained.

No, seriously. You hadn't worked out this much since Jules and you almost missed the subway two months ago and had to run three blocks to catch it on time.

That day was dreadful, but you were sure if you went to bed you were going to wake up lifeless like a worm.

"I call the shower first!" you hear Jules scream, running to her room in order to grab her belongings but you were faster and instantly made your way to the bathroom, locking the door before she could break in. "You bitch! How dare you steal it with my back turned!"

Grinning evilly to yourself, you wanted to get your night routines over with so you could hit the pillows quickly. Even after taking off all your makeup, taking a very steamy shower, and doing your nightly skin care routine, you were sure you could easily knock out sitting on the toilet if you had the chance.

We all have done it once in our lives.

Opening the door, the steam flows out smoothly as you face your very displeased roommate on the other side, glaring at you. "All yours," you smile, stepping to the side but she roughly pushes you in response, causing you to yelp as you manage to catch your balance midway.

Mental note, burn her eggs next breakfast.

Stepping into your room, you change into an oversized hoodie and sweats before throwing yourself under your covers in excitement.

The moment you've been waiting for all day: sleep.

Closing your eyes, you feel all your senses slowly drifting away from your body as relaxation crept up from all around. It was truly intoxicating how in trance you were.

But of course with your luck, nothing goes as planned- ever.

Wildly jumping up from the loud blaring of your phone, you cover your face in agony as the vibrations and noise cause pain throughout your entire body.

Who the hell was calling you at 10 o'clock at night? This should be illegal.

After taking a minute to control yourself, the ringing stopped. Good, now you won't have to make time to engage in a conversation. Quickly falling back down onto your pillows, it wasn't even ten seconds later before you feel your phone going off like crazy again.

With you eyes shut, you move your hands around your bed until you feel the cool object underneath your pillow. Lazily pressing any button, without batting one eye open, you move the phone to your ear before releasing a groggy, "What?"

"What a lovely way to greet somebody, kiddo."

You instantly freeze, automatically thinking about the vivid dream you had about him, then Lady Gaga, and felt a blush creeping in.

Slowly pulling the phone away, you let out a loud but fast scream before moving it back. How the hell are you going to begin a conversation without thinking about his lips on yours. "What do you want?"

Pausing for a second, you can hear him move around through his end. "Did you just scream?"

It's not like you didn't just dream about him kissing all over your body two nights ago.

"Did you just wake me up to ask me the obvious answer?"

Act like you don't care. Like you are perfectly fine.

He chuckles lightly and you can tell by his tone he was close to passing out too. "Somebody's cranky, is it past your bedtime?" Pedro teased.

You were definitely not in the mood to handle his ridicules at this hour, especially by how nervous he was slowly making you. What did he want?

"Yes," you simply reply before hitting the red button, ending the call and laying your head back on your pillow. Good, just end it before you make a bigger fool out of yourself.

It hadn't even been another ten seconds before your phone was ringing once again. Pulling it up to your face, you let out a huff. What a shocker, it was him again.

"You better have an insanely good reason as to why you chose to wake me up in the middle of my dream," you immediately say as you press the 'accept' button.

Hearing him laugh, you just know he has a sarcastic comment coming any second. "Wake you up? Honey, you're still living your dream talking to me."

Honey.

No, not another nickname for him to call you in future dreams.

Shaking that thought away, you rejected the idea of him being in any more dreams- you forbid it.

Loss at words for a second, you almost let your next words trip over one another before calmly gaining your composure at the incidental choice of your pet name.

"So funny," you reply back, trying your best to sound sane. "Pretty sure I was dreaming of a very shirtless Matt Healy playing 'Please Be Naked' to me."

Why the fuck would you slip that out.

"Are you trying to hint at something?" he smirks, making you press mute and hold your hand over your mouth to hold back the screams you feared would release.

Feeling like your soul was about to leave your body, you couldn't believe he just said that.

Actually, you couldn't believe you would even recommend that song. God, your sleepiness was messing with your mind.

Finding your energy once again, you unmute the call and try to seem unfazed by his last comment. "Yes, that I want to sleep. Goodbye now."

Before you could hit the red button again, you could hear him chanting over the phone to do the exact opposite. "Don't!"

Groaning, you clutch the phone harder in despair. "I am so tired. Don't do this to me, please. I am a girl who values her sleep!" you whine as you hear him continue his light giggles in the background. "If I don't sleep I will die, is this what you want. Are you trying to kill me?"

"I can reassure you I don't plan on keeping you up long," he explains. "And I wouldn't dare wish for your death."

Your heart fluttering, you glare at your chest. "Then what do you want?"

Moving his phone from one ear to the other, he lays in his bed while smiling at his ceiling. "You," he declares, making you widen your eyes as he shuffles around in his blanket. "Tomorrow, let's hang out."

Sitting up against your bed frame, you furrow your brow. "Hang out? For what?" There's no way you will be able to act normal for a long period of time, your weak-self can't do it.

Placing a hand over his chest, he lets out a light hiss in fake hurt by your comeback before continuing. "Can't I hang out with you by choice and not by a work schedule? Unless you're so disgusted by me." That's when he started his fake cries. "I'm so sorry I am not Matt Healy and can't do a great British accent."

Shaking your head, you try to intervene as his ugly cries become louder through the line. "That's not what I meant, stop being dramatic," you complain as he instantly stops while smiling widely. "Is there a specific reason why you want to hang out?"

Taking a deep breath, he fiddles with the fingers on his non-occupied hand. "Does there need to be a reason?"

You pause for a second. He's acting too kind for your liking and it's making you question what his intentions are. In this point of time, you're sure he's going to take that moment to convince you to work with him in Canada.

"With you there's always a reason."

Scoffing lightly, he grumbles. "I just want to go on a hike and need a hiking partner."

Oh hell no, you already did enough working out this evening. You were not about to do that again, that's for sure.

"Yeah, nooo," you exhale lowly. "I already did too much working out with my body if you know what I mean and-"

"I don't know what that means," he cuts you off.

"It means I am going to be sore for days so my body has no strength to walk for more than five minutes," you declare as he falls silent.

After a few seconds that felt like forever, he replies. "Fine," he blankly states. "Have a goodnight, sweetheart."

The warmth as blood began drawing to your face became present as you quickly reply with a simple "night" before ending the call. And for some reason you felt as if you couldn't breathe normally by the pounding on your chest.

What the hell was happening to you. Looking up at the ceiling, you silently pray you don't have a Lady Gaga 2.0 fiasco.

As you were questioning why your heart made you feel as if you were going under cardiac arrest the night before, your body was currently making you feel if you really needed to make that trip to the ER by how tender you were.

It also didn't help that Jules was the one waking you up at the crack of dawn, half asleep with her eye mask clinging onto her forehead.

"W-why are you-" you grumble, rubbing your eyes as you look at the alarm clock near your bedside. "-waking me up at 6:18am? It's Saturday."

She sent you a death glare for assuming she randomly wanted to wake you up for the fun of it as she was the one who was woken up first. "Someone's here for you."

Positioning your body upwards, you squint your eyes up at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you take a look for yourself," she gritted her teeth, swaying her head towards your door.

Slowly standing up, you make your way to it before sneaking a peak of the view of your living room. That's when you see a very annoying man you were sure you both agreed on the phone last night to not go hiking.

Luckily, he didn't notice your wandering eyes as his were glued to his phone, scrolling through his social media.

What was he doing here? You can't face him without thinking about his body wrapped around yours and his lips doing dangerous things.

Oh no, you truly were screwed.

Lightly shutting your door, you nervously turn back to your roommate who looks displeased. "I told him no."

"No means yes, I guess," she replies, snaking her arms around her body for warmth. "I'm going back to bed."

You could hear her walk out of your room as you frantically begin searching for something warm yet comfortable clothes to wear on this undesired hike. You knew if you tried backing out he would stay until you caved, he was very persistent to get what he wanted.

And what he wanted was for you to get your ass up and exercise.

You were also certain you heard Jules let out a "thanks for the invite" to him before hearing her bedroom door shut.

Running out of your room, you made sure not to look in his direction so he wouldn't see your morning appearance clearly- well he already has but why reveal yourself in this state again?

Quickly brushing your hair, teeth, and washing your face, you change into a baggy green sweatshirt and some black workout leggings before slipping on suited running shoes.

Try to act natural. Give him little attention so he won't speculate anything. You aren't into old men and did not vision him smooching you on your sofa.

"You are so buying me breakfast," you deadpan as you walked straight out of your door, not even daring to wait for him to follow.

Good, be straightforward.

Laughing to himself, Pedro promptly jumped off the couch and jogged after you once you shut the door on him and continued down the halls to the elevators.

Finally catching up, he barely made it through the elevator doors as they were closing to find you leaning against the corner, mad and tired. "Good morning to you, too."

You let out a small cry as you lay your head against the wall in pain from how frustratingly exhausted you were. If one cold breeze hit you outside you were sure you were going to burst into tears.

"Oh, come one," he walks over to you and nudged your shoulder to wake up some more. If he unexpectedly touched you again you were sure you were going to rip his arm off. "In a few minutes you'll be wide awake and fine."

"How dare you assume I'm going to be fine!" you whine, trying to hit his side but he manages to capture your arm and that's when you give up and allow your worn out body to fall on him.

He instantly wraps his arms around you as your head falls just beneath his chin, your eyes slowly closing and your thoughts drifting away as his warmth was making you drowsy.

You tried to stay focus, but your poor state was taking over and you suddenly weren't as anxious as you once were. Being sleepy really made your mind roam.

"Hey, now," he whispers and looks down to see you snuggling up against him. "You can't fall asleep on me. I do not want your security guards thinking I drugged you."

Tightening your arms on how lower sides, you ignore him as you feel yourself easing closer to dozing off by the constant beating of his heart. "Stop," you mumble, clutching your ears softly before positioning your head on the other side of his chest.

"What?" he curiously glances down at you.

"You heartbeat's annoying me," you lightly whine. "It's pounding against my ears."

Pedro was extremely glad you were too tired to process his heartbeat and the bright red tint plastered across his face. Your drained-self definitely saved him from embarrassment.

Finally, the elevator doors opened and you still weren't moving. You were too comfortable to make any effort to walk on your own and if he really wanted you to hang out this morning then he was going to have to find a way to make you move.

And to him, dragging you was his best option yet. But with care.

Delicately keeping his arms secured around you, he gradually walked out with you still engulfed by him, eyes shut and only moving your feet with his pace.

Honestly, you were surprised how much rhythm you had.

Stopping to pull out his car keys, he unlocked his car and opened his passenger side door once you two reached the garage complex. Gently, laying you on the seat, you station you head against the headrest as he buckled you in. "God, I really hope security doesn't report me."

And once he made it to his side and hopped in, he laughed at the state you were in, head instantly bent to your side and legs tangled together in hope to create some kind of warmth. "Adorable."

But of course you were too dumb to not catch that.

You were awoken by a small speed bump and the instant hit of warmth through the heat vents, your eyes slowly glancing around your surroundings. Taking a quick peep at the screen indicating the time, you read that it was almost 7am.

Tilting your head and leaning against the headrest, you lazily stare at Pedro as he continues to drive to god knows where.

"Don't I look so handsome in the morning?" he jokes before meeting your eyes, sending you a warm grin.

And handsome on top of you.

Shutting your eyes tightly, you beg your imagination to please shut the fuck up.

"You mean drastic," you mutter, moving your head to the opposite side, against the window to force some sleep again.

Better to make time fly by faster knocking out where you were sure you wouldn't say anything stupid.

"Hey, no..." he whines, moving his right arm across to shake your chin softly to keep you conscious. "Don't pass out on me again, I'm lonely."

"And I'm tired, deal with it."

Shuffling in his seat, he looks over to see you curling yourself up in a ball with your legs to your knees and arms wrapped around. Not thinking things throughly, he hits the brakes hard for a split second and watches as your body jolts forward before swinging back against his seat.

"What the fuck!" you shriek, propping your body up and facing him in pure rage. "Are you trying to irritate me?!"

"I'm lonely and you're not helping," Pedro calmly states, shrugging as you continue your daggers his way.

You were beyond pissed. How could he think you would be energetic and talkative right now? How could he attempt to make you fly out the window? You could feel your nerves slowly fading away by the fury growing inside you.

If he wanted you awake then fine, you were going to be awake.

Doesn't mean you had to talk though.

Silently sitting up, you stare at the windshield in front of you and watch the cars drive as he continues to spare you a glance every once in a while.

Honestly, your silence was terrifying the fuck out of him. Normally, you would have some snarky comeback or violent punch to return to his evil tactics, but you were doing nothing.

Literally nothing.

And he knows damn well the sights of trees and cars did not interest you.

"Hey...," you feel Pedro lightly poke your side, pursing his lips once he saw your non-existent reaction. "You're not mad, right?"

Ignoring him, you continue your deep stare now onto more trees as you two were getting closer to nature than streets. You must've been out for some time as you barely noticed how far away from the city you really were.

Joon would really love this.

Gradually lifting his arm up, his places it on top of your own and gives it a small squeeze while laying it there. "C'mon, don't ignore me."

As if that would make you stop your scheme.

Blinking slowly, you acted like you paid no attention to his puppy dog pleads as the car was making its way towards an almost empty parking lot, all surrounded by a forest that only had one route starting within an old wooden bridge.

Pulling up to a nearby parking spot, Pedro parked the car before turning back to try and capture your attention but nothing was working.

You were so damn frustrating, it was infuriating. But he was still desperate to gain your attention.

"Are you just going to sit in here all day or what?" he questions as he waves a hand over your face to make you blink.

You didn't and that kind of frightened him. Work of the devil.

"I am going to cry," he warned, swatting his hand over his face to prepare for his fake tears.

Yet you showed no mercy. Sitting there patiently, you inhaled and exhaled softly, causing him to internally flip the fuck out because why were you being so aggravating when the two of you should be walking and pointing out the squirrels fighting over nuts.

And sadly, he was slowly giving up.

"Imagine if I really was crying," he began, offended you did not care one bit. "Really means a lot how unconcerned you are."

But when you suddenly started examining your nails and carefully picking at them is when he totally lost it.

Reaching over to you and moving his arm down your arm, he swiftly intertwined your fingers with his before moving you posture to face him.

His hand was huge.

"No, no-" he started, pulling a face as you gave him a blank stare back. Act natural. Pulling your shared hands in front of his chest, he sulks. "-please, for the love of whichever god you believe in, or if you're an atheist- for the love of you, please talk to me."

Watching him beg for forgiveness has always been funny in the past, but his pleading for attention now makes you feel bad.

"If you talk to me I will buy you breakfast and a very delicious milkshake that will make you extremely happy for the rest of the day," he continues, using his free left arm to wrap around you as his right one still clutches onto your palm.

He's so warm.

Pursing your lips a bit, you send him a skeptical glance. "Oreo shake with a lot of whipped cream?"

He instantly nods, a smile breaking out. "Of course, anything you want."

You look at the car's steering wheel before averting your eyes back to his. "And a red cherry?"

"I'll buy you a full jar of cherries if it makes you happy," he declares.

"And fries?"

Agreeing, he lets out a quick nod again. "With extra seasoning."

Biting your lip, you proceed to think about other stuff you may want with your milkshake and fries. "A burger?"

"My goodness, woman" he sighs, letting go of you and jumping out of the car before running around to your side and opening your door. "I'll buy you the whole menu, now let's go!"

With that, he vigorously yet cautiously pulls you out of your seat and throws you over his shoulders.

"Oh no!" you squeal, trying to find something to hold on to as he begins his journey, walking towards the bridge to start the hike. Grabbing a hold of his neck, you try not to choke him as you place your arm around it.

If you were going down, you were sure you were going to break his neck in the process. At least it would be a learning lesson for him.

"If you drop me I am never talking to you again," you threaten as he continues down a path.

"Said that before and just did it half the car ride here," he begins, moving his shoulder to give you a little fright of your life. "Now I just found out that all I have to do is buy you food and you'll yap again."

Glaring, you choke him a little to which he chuckles. "Didn't know you were into that."

Speechless, you couldn't believe his words. What the hell was he on this morning?

"Put me down!" you exclaim, immediately moving your body so he would lose his balance. Once he did so, you scowl as he ruffles your hair, making it tangle around. "Hey!"

"Can you stop being negative for a few minutes and enjoy the environment?" he asks, pulling his arms up to twirl around. "Just take in that fresh air mother nature gifted us."

Scrunching your nose, you frown. "It smells like rotten eggs."

"Because of the ducks," he pointed out before patting his pockets. "Which we will be feeding with the bread I brought."

Examining his pocket, you shoot him a curious glance. "How big are your pockets?"

"Not important," he states, grabbing your arms and dragging you along with him down the long trail. "What's important is finishing this trail to feel accomplished."

Pouting, you allowed him to drag you along as you miserably dreaded the next few hours to come. The energy you had to give off just for some damn breakfast.

Shame on you for loving food so much.

Encountering many frogs, lizards, and pigeons who loved flying right by both of your heads and scaring you to death, you had long forgotten about how anxious you were being around him. Being distracted constantly had you occupied which was a relief.

Eventually, you two finally found the drugs.

Or the ducks.

Walking by a huge pond, there were numerous amounts of ducks leaping around with their families following behind. It was really cute, but the smell wasn't.

"I wonder if they can choke on this?" Pedro muttered as he pulled out a large bread. Slowly nearing one medium-seized one in caution, he rips a piece apart and throws it. "It is kind of thick."

Taking a moment to check the bread out, you sigh. "Are you feeding these ducks bolillo bread?"

He pauses, not sure why you would care to ask. "Yes and?"

"They have thick crusts!" you exclaim. "And why not just feed them normal wheat bread?"

"Who even eats wheat? It's bland." he protests. "Plus, this is leftovers from my dinner last night."

"They're ducks! They don't care," you argue as he shakes his head.

"Just imagine if you were a duck," he began, making you huff in annoyance as you just knew he was going to say something ridiculous. "Wouldn't you love to eat this nice bolillo bread, maybe visualize a torta with some carnitas, onions, avocado, can't forget the refried bean-"

"The duck is choking!" you squeal and stare in fear as the poor duck starts to wheeze sharply.

Pedro's facial expressions drops as he sees the poor duck quacking in agony. Nervously rushing to its side, he looks up at you. "Do we pat its back? CPR? Call 911?!"

Pulling out your phone, you type away to find answers for your current problem. It was indeed true that you aren't supposed to feed ducks bread.

Especially thick Mexican ones.

"Give it mouth to mouth if you want chlamydia," you read aloud, causing Pedro to instantly leap away from the duck as it hastily begins to lay on the ground. "Wait, you get that from birds, not ducks. Silly me."

"Ducks are birds," he discloses, trying his best to softly pat the ducks back, finally giving it one powerful swat to help but instead the duck ends ups being thrown a few feet away by his force.

"Do I look like a fucking duck doctor?" you spit out, making him look up confused.

"You mean a veterarian."

Ignoring his last comment, you continue scrolling through more of google's suggestions, finally finding some information that may help. "You need to press down on its chest with 1-2 fingers or just give them water to drown it down."

Immediately grabbing the duck and placing it on its back, you worriedly watch over the duck from Pedro's shoulder as he works his fingers on the poor animal.

However, no luck was given as the duck was beginning to look weak and drowsy as pressure kept being projected on its chest. "We need water!"

Running towards the pond, you motion for Pedro to follow along with the duck as you look for a safe ramp to lead the duck onto. "Let's just lay him down near the water and splash him with it."

"He?" Pedro asks, stopping his movements. "But it looks like a she-"

"We are not arguing over its gender when its literally dying in your arms!" you exclaim, causing him to quickly nod and follow the ramp you found towards the water.

Gently, Pedro lowered his arms near the water with the poor duck taking over his hands. Trying to move the flow of water towards its face, he calls you over. "He's not accepting it, you need to scoop some up in your hand and pour it over his beak."

Rapidly nodding, you do as he says and take a handful and try not to spill it before gradually pouring it over the duck's beak. This water was not clean, but at least it was something. Nothing was happening until your third scoop once the duck began to actually swallow some of the water slowly.

"I-I think it's working! We did it!" Pedro cheered, trying to give you a high-five, failing incredibly as he somehow managed to lose his grip and dump the poor duck hard in the pond. "Oh shit!"

Squatting down, you try to reach for the duck as its face was buried underneath the water before Pedro's body slams into yours, causing you to fall into the dirty, cold pond.

The feeling of thick, muddy water overtakes your body as you lose all sight of air. Quickly moving your arms up and down, you rise back to the surface to find Pedro with his hands over his mouth and his jaw dropped.

He knew he wasn't going to hear the end of it.

"Fuck," he nervously muttered to himself before reaching out for you. "I am so so so sorry, the leaf made me slip AH!-"

He couldn't finish his sentence as you yanked his arm down with you, pulling with almighty to get him to land in the pond. The weight of the water going down with his body diving harshly against it, you knew he was completely soaked.

And probably pissed, but its okay. It's what he deserves.

Waiting for him to come up, he finally did so in seconds looking very unhappy. It made you delighted.

"You did that on purpose!"

Scoffing, you splash him and watch as he gasps harder. "You do a lot of things on purpose."

Using both hands to release bigger waves, he splashes you back. "Don't splash me!"

Growling, you slap his chest as he clutches your wrist afterwards. "You're so lucky I forgot my phone at home."

Gasping, you feel one of his hands fly underwater. "I didn't!" You hold in your giggles as he shuffles frantically before moving his gaze back up. "Wait, I never removed it from my glove department. Be fortunate I forgot it because if you destroyed it I would've made you walk home."

Furrowing your brows, you push his shoulders and make him move back by the force of it. "You're the one who started it. We're gonna get duck chlamydia now!"

Rolling his eyes, he pushed you back, causing you to fall under the water. Once you caught your breath again you notice the way he glares at you. "That's not even a thing."

"Just another STD to add to your list," you jokingly mumble to yourself, sure he didn't catch it.

You were wrong, again.

Launching himself onto you, the two of you fall underwater as he shoves you body around in revenge. Swimming back up, you gasp for air while slapping his arms off you as he tried blocking all your attempts.

Wrapping his arms around your waist, he clings his face on your shoulder as he proceeds to try and bring you down under but somehow you manage to wrap your leg around his thigh, causing him to lose his strength and fall backwards with you on top of him.

He sure has one strong grip.

Now, not saying you were going to kill him. But this was your chance to kill him with no witnesses.

Well- besides the ducks, but they wouldn't quack a soul.

Regaining his energy, he lifts himself back up and holds you up, about to drag you under again before you crazily oppose while shaking your head, "Don't! We're gonna get sick!"

"That's not a very sincere apology," he tilts his head, his wet hair scattered across his face as he awaits your alibi.

Huffing, you fight back a rude remark. "Do you understand how much poop were swimming in right now? These ducks are probably laughing at us by how much they are quacking."

Swiftly looking around, the two of you check the surrounding ducks around who blankly stare back. The older looking ones hollering nonsense, probably making plans to kill you and Pedro.

"I bet their releasing their chlamydia right now," you cry, hiding your face in his shoulder as he bursts out laughing.

"I don't think that's how it works."

Glancing down on him, you're surprised by his strength. He's been holding you up by your waist for so long you're shocked he hasn't dropped you accidentally yet. "Let's not find out, let's get out."

"You're forgetting something," he smiles, staring innocently at you, knowing damn well you can't leave without his release. "And I wouldn't wait this one out because I am pretty sure I feel toads swimming near my feet."

Instantaneously, you clung onto him tighter in fear as you could imagine the feeling of something swarming around your body. It was like hundred of spiders crawling all over you, you needed to get out of here.

Pulling yourself back up, you place your hands on his shoulders as he impassively stares back at you, waiting. "Fine," you huff. "I'm sorry for claiming you had STD's before."

Pedro just stays there, not moving an inch as if he wants more. Groaning, you knew he wasn't going to give in so easy. "And I am sorry for stimulating the idea that you would get duck chlamydia," you apologize. "But you can get E. coli."

That didn't help as he just helplessly eyed you, not impressed with your poor excuses of your so-called apologies. What more did he want? You can't necessarily beg on your knees, you're in the water!

Whining, you knew you had to pull out your sincere face. You just knew your Oscar-worthy acting was about to award you freedom.

Softly, you move strands of hair stuck near his eyes away from his face and brush his hair back before quivering your lips and looking down upon him in sorrow.

He has really pretty eyes.

"I'm really sorry," you start as you push your face inside his neck and lock him inside your arms. "I know you don't have any infections, you don't even have visible rashes or sores to prove it."

Pedro finds your plead for forgiveness charming as you squeeze him tighter. He begins to release you until he hears the mutter of your "-that are visible."

"You couldn't hold it in for a few more seconds?!" he whined at how fast you went back to insulting him.

Sighing heavily, you slap a hand to your face. "It's hard!"

Suppressing a laugh, he unwrapped his arms around you and let you get back to the sidewalk. But once you were back on your feet, you looked down to find your body filled with random pieces of dirt, sticks, and grass. "Ew!"

"You're not sitting in my car," Pedro states, waving his head side to side to release some water from his ears.

"You're worse than me!"

"My car, my rules."

Frowning, you weren't sure if he was kidding or not. "Well, you almost committed first-degree-murder so if you don't want people to know you must be my personal servant."

His instant glare turned into confusion as he abruptly moved his attention back towards the pond. "Where did the duck go?"

Widening your eyes, you forgot that you had a helpless duck in your hands minutes ago before your splash attack with Pedro. Scanning your eyes from the sidewalks to the ramps to the pond, you noticed a duck floating nearby. "I think that's them."

Pointing at a duck with the closest familiar colors than the rest, you felt Pedro let out of sigh of relief. "Thank goodness, I would have felt extremely guilty if she would have died."

"It could be a he," you snap back.

He was about to protest but honestly, you were done for the day. You just wanted to take a long and hot shower and knock back out. Not only that, but you ruined your cute running shoes you gifted yourself months ago for your work out journey.

You never really wore them, but it's the thought that counts.

"We can get breakfast another day," you plead to which he didn't argue over because he really wanted to remove the unknown substances off his body asap.

He wouldn't admit it, but he was genuinely scared he may have gotten duck chlamydia .

"Okay, but no sleeping in the car," Pedro states as you exhale loudly. All this and you still weren't allowed to doze off, how cruel is life at the moment.

Walking back to the car would've went down smoothly if the two of you weren't given disturbed looks from strangers and your clothes weren't clinging uncomfortably to your bodies, especially your shoes.

Luckily, Pedro had towels in his trunk and set them down on the seats. "God, I am definitely going to need a deep cleaning after this."

Slipping inside, your hands find the heater and turn it on full blast. Not only was it freezing outside, but your drenched state made you feel like an icicle.

Setting off back to the road, your mind begins to wander back to the question that has been flooding your mind lately. Craning you neck towards his presence, you make out his comfort state. Cool, he's calm.

Here goes nothing.

"So," you start, awkwardly playing with your hands as you try to make direct eye-contact with him as he turns his head to you. "Why did you visit the other morning?"

Lifting a brow, he pulls a face. "Other morning?"

Biting the inside of the cheek, you try to sound composed. "Yeah, remember? You dropped by around 6am-"

"-and you thought I was Lady Gaga, slammed the door on my face, and went back to bed?" he finished, grinning while finding your eyes again. "You mean that day?"

"Well if you knew what I was talking about why make me recall those mortifying details?" you grumble, leaning back against your seat. "And I thought you were a cat."

"I figured, I always questioned why Jules would ramble on about buying Lady Gaga a new electric litter box until I connected the dots," he confessed making you let out a small chuckle.

Yeah, you clearly remember how upset Jules became when Lady Gaga neglected the expensive box.

"But if you're curious, it wasn't because I wanted to go hiking," he smiled, referring to the current day.

"Then why?"

He paused for a minute, checking his mirrors before switching lanes. "I'm not really sure."

Tilting your head a bit, you express curiosity as you glance back. "I don't understand?"

Laughing lowly, he slightly shook his head. "I did wake up real fucking early that day," he started. "Maybe around 4am? Which sucked because I must've gotten like 3-4 hours of sleep."

"So you decided to wake me up so I could feel your pain?"

"No," he stifled another chuckle. "To plant trees."

Squinting your eyes, you become very confused. What is he talking about? He noticed your puzzlement immediately. "You know, go early in the morning to different areas in the city and help dig and replace old trees to plant new ones."

This whole time you were flipping out, wondering why he randomly came early in the morning just to find out it was because he's a nature boy who wants to help out the community?

It was very sweet of him to be as helpful as he was, but you were a little disappointment it wasn't something more.

"That's why?" you ask and he nods. "And why no warning?"

"Well, I was going to call but I figured all that studying you had done the evening before may have knocked you out early," he confessed.

Yet he still made you wake up early today knowing damn well you were exhausted last night. Strange.

"Why me?" you giggle. "I'm not your typical nature girl, Joon would've been perfect for the job."

Shrugging, he leaned his elbow on his middle console. "I thought about asking him, but to be honest I didn't want to pay for any damages he may have caused."

That was a very accurate insight of what Joon really was, clumsy. The amount of times he accidentally dropped his coffee cups, tripped over wires backstage, and face-planted against glass doors would be too much to count on both your palms.

You're surprised he hasn't broken his back again- but still glad he hasn't. That would really suck.

"But have you thought things over yet?" Pedro glanced your way before looking back forward. "About Canada?"

Stiffing up a bit, you move your eyes to the dashboard. You weren't dreading this conversation, but you didn't want to talk about it.

This was a situation where it was a win but also a loss.

Win as in gaining incredible experience, loss that your parent's wouldn't be pleased, it was in a different country, and you'd be missing out on your social life for almost a year.

"Not really," you admit and sense from the corner of your eyes his shoulders fall. "Still indecisive, as always," you try joking to lighten the mood.

Sending over a tiny grin, he mirrors your same expression, doubtful. His face turns concentrated again, leaning closer to you before he shuts down again, ultimately rejecting whatever idea he had going on.

The rest of the drive back to your place went by fast. The two of you made little talk about each other's life and how school was going for you, but he already knew so much already from past encounters.

Pulling up to the red curb you loathe, you crack a scowl as he only returns a smirk at his doing. "I will personally send my property manager to you so she can threaten you."

"I do love threats," he beamed, watching as you reach for the handle before stopping you by his voice. "-but I had fun this morning, despite our little uh...catastrophe," he chuckled, looking down at his clothes.

"I totally agree," you grin. "Dirt just looks so good on me."

He sniggers lightly before slightly sobering up. "But seriously, think about the offer," he begins, nipping at his lip a bit, not trying to put too much pressure on you. "It'll be good for you, you know- your future."

Sighing, you nod. You knew where he was coming from since he's been doing this for so long, but you were still young and had a lot on your mind.

"I'll think about it," you smile, reaching for the door handle and swiftly getting out, missing the way his smile slowly vanishes.

Taking your usual step back, you send him a farewell wave but he does his habitual goodbyes as he gets out of his car and grins to you. "See you around." Laughing, you walk inside the doors and make your way to the elevators, his followed soft "beautiful" being muffled by the traffic on the streets.

It seemed like both of you were screwed.

+

taglist: @thesapphirequeen @floralsightings @wrathofcats @avengersheart @fafik7  @chimchimjiminie16 @adriennemichelle98

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #joel miller #tlou #tlou joel #pascalispunk #joel miller x reader #the last of us #pedro pascal angst #pedro pascal fluff #pedropascaledit #fanfiction

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

Just so y'all know, I'm pouring some of my soul out in this post. It gets emotional-please mind the gaslighting tw <3 There's no pressure to read this, I just feel this needs to be said and hopefully will help someone out there.

In case this helps someone, the reason I say "Telling witchlings/baby witches that negative entities will pretend to be deities, or that they can't trust their deities is damaging" is because it damaged my craft directly. Not only as a witchling, but even now.

When I first started it was because I hid that I was working with Persephone from everyone except close friends, because I was scared I would be judged. Persephone came to me, and I had no reason to ignore the call. There was no questioning whether it was truly a goddess that had stepped into my head when I woke up from the fever dream (affectionate) that she sent me with the name "Persephone" blaring in my head.

Even now, Loki spent a solid chunk last night, late as hell, sitting with me while I spiraled. And it was a bad spiral, at least by my standards. I'm really good at gaslighting myself, not-so-fun fact, and I saw something talking about people convincing themselves that deities were around when really it was just their own imagination. I understand that that post might be helpful to some, so if anyone knows what post I'm talking about PLEASE do not attack them. And if you happen to have posted that, PLEASE do not continue reading this post and please don't feel bad. I don't remember if it was in my following or for you or your tags- but that's not the point.

The point is, of course my brain decided that today was the day to fuck me up! Yayyyyy. /s I had already been, due to some recent information I got about where my deity work will be going (that's a separate post) questioning the validity of my craft. Who the HELL am I to do that sort of work? Why me? I'm just some dude. I'm not even "just some dude" I'm some dude who actively struggles to do just about anything in life. Y'all I was having A TimeTM and seeing that post was the final straw.

So I sat there, cards in hand, completely unable to get any direct communication from Loki because my head was too loud and I was questioning whether or not they were even real at all. And I've gone from "trickster energy = asshole who laughs at others" to trusting Loki with all I have so quickly, because they sat with me. I could feel them even if I couldn't "hear" them. Card after card telling me I'm supported, I'm on the right path, what I've been told I'm meant to do is my path and not some "'chosen one' bullshit" as I remember wording it. Nothing but love and support. I pulled The Fool twice, which just felt like a nudge of "Hey, I really am here." (For those of you who may not know, The Fool is associated with Loki!)

This is.... a vulnerable thing to put in a tumblr post, but I leave it here anyway. I did get one thing from him, as I was going to bed. I thanked them for staying, even when I was too stressed and overwhelmed to hear them. And somewhere in the back of my mind, very firmly, I get; "I will ALWAYS be here." Long pause at the implication, because I know that deities often come and go just like people. "Always?" "Mhm." cue the clear image of them grinning.

So, apparently, Loki is here to stay with me for good. I'm so grateful to have them in my life.

But this is what I mean when I say it's bad to scare the witchlings. That post scared me, outright triggered me, and I've been around witchcraft my whole life and actively practicing for four years. Please stop telling people they're "just imagining" their deities.

#witchcraft #paganism #witchblr #pagan witch #pagan #eclectic pagan #paganblr #witch community #deity work #witch blog #tw gaslighting #tw gaslighting mention

[sawyerconfort]

songbird | misty day x reader

 Well, here I am, writing and opening the imagines for American Horror Story: Coven over here.

I was dying to write something to post here again and this one came to mind because firstly I love Misty and she deserves all the love in this world and secondly because I love this song, I love Fleetwood Mac and I love Christine McVie forever.

I hope you like it anyway.

There are open requests and a list of prompts if you want, just click here!

Enjoy!

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Prompt: You go through the same problem as your older brother: the fact that you fell in love with a witch. But Misty is different, and will show you that love is not wrong, even with tragic fates awaiting you.

* * *

Fate couldn't be crueler to you.

It was hard to look at her and know that the two of you would possibly have little time to enjoy each other's company, or that you would have to kill her soon, or that it would hurt her. And mostly it was even harder to admit to yourself that you loved her and that you didn't want to lose her.

It hurt to look at Misty and know you would have to do this. You would have to end it without asking permission or changing the fate of the thing. Either way, she'd come back to life, and you'd need to stay far enough away that you never cross paths with her again, avoiding the guilt and pain that would come later.

It was an easier task for Hank, that was for sure. Your brother was the husband of a witch - Cordelia Goode, the daughter of the Supreme - and he seemed to be fine with the fact that one day he would have to watch her bleed. But he was older, had more experience, and had stronger blood than you.

Every night, you found yourself dreaming of the ultimate moment. You'd barely close your eyes and wake up sweating with flashes of a dagger being plunged into Misty's chest, or a silver bullet going through her chest. And she woke up when she saw you having nightmares, and you had to hide your discomfort, leave the cabin in the swamp and drink water far away so as not to prolong the conversation.

That would kill you first then her.

And the worst part is that your girlfriend didn't suspect anything.

* * *

There you were, training, devising new strategies so you wouldn't have to suffer in completing your mission, internally fighting your desire to end it all and the desire to burst into tears, knowing your father would never forgive you for it.

“Hey, cutie...”

You heard Misty's voice and, in fright, you hit one of the professional darts in the target, causing a hole bigger than it should have been. You turned to her and gulped as your dream passed like a gust of wind in front of you and brought the painful sight of her clutching her chest to her eyes.

“Are you all right? You're a little pale... Haven't you had your morning sun today, my love?”, she asked, showing the concern that took over when she was near you, and that left your heart completely melted.

“I'm fine,” you insisted. “What do you need, Misty?”

Cover-up. Don't feel. She can't guess. Her powers aren't that great yet.

“Oh yes, I came because… I found something out there and I wanted you to explain it to me,” she said, taking you by surprise. In her hand was a dagger, your dagger, and you swallowed harder. “You haven't been killing animals to eat the meat, have you? You know I don't like that..."

"No, I..."

You realized that your vision was getting blurred, that you were about to pass out and you sat down - or rather threw yourself - on the ground. Misty knelt next, those eyes you loved that were north of you staring at you with all the love in the world.

“You can trust me, (Y\NN), I swear, I won't judge you,” she whispered.

"I'm... I..."

“You're one of them, right? One of the hunters that occasionally shows up here to kill witches and the others...”, she replied, her voice low, deciphering everything. “Yeah, I knew it. From the beginning, I was just waiting for you to tell me.”

You looked at her in disbelief and her eyes lit up because she was smiling and you were crying. Misty didn't seem mad or disappointed in you at all. You couldn't decipher what that look and that smile meant.

"Did you knew? How did you knew?"

“Your dreams,” she said. "You didn't know it, but you talk in your sleep, and without meaning to, I end up hearing you calling my name and begging me to forgive you, or screaming... It's not on purpose, I swear, it's just... inevitable."

You were speechless. Looking at your girlfriend and getting that beautiful, generous look in return, you'd wonder how you managed to get so lucky. There was nothing that could change the fact that you loved Misty one way or another, not even your family.

“But hey, can you listen to me for a minute, honey?” she continued whispering, sitting down next to you and using her hand to hold yours. “It's okay, you don't have to feel guilty about this, okay?”

You did not answer. You couldn't find the words to say.

“I suppose the size of your pain, I imagine how difficult it must have been for you to deal with all of this, I can understand, even though I don't feel it. But you must know that nothing, nothing, and no one in this world will be able to change what I feel for you. The love, the care, the affection, the desire I feel for you...”, she smiled. “And you know, deep inside you, that you don't want to do that. And that you won't do it.”

She slowly ran her fingers through yours and smiled sadly.

“I love you, (Y\NN), and I just need you to know that, no matter what happens between us,” she kept saying. “I promise with all my heart that I will make an effort and I will do my best to be by your side and help you get through this whole idea. You are not a failure just for having feelings and not being able to do what your family does, you know that, right?”

You looked at her. “Misty...”

“I promise, with all my heart, my love. I promise that starting with today, you won't have to go through this anymore if you don't want to. And it won't be wrong, ever, because I'll be here by your side, and I'll love you until the last beat of my heart. If need be, I'll give you the world, to make up for the weight of all this burden. But you're not alone and you never will be, do you hear me?"

She brought your faces close and kissed you tenderly, brushing a strand of hair from your face and cupping your cheek reflexively, resting her hand there.

“I forgive you, my love. I forgive you because you are different from them”, she whispered. “You would never hurt me, I know that. And I won't let anyone hurt you either, not even me. You deserve all the love in the world, all the support, and all the validation, and I'm here to give you that and more.”

You smiled and kissed her once more, sniffling. Misty wiped away some of your tears and smiled the same smile as always, biting her lip and squeezing the hand that was still holding yours.

“Thank you, Misty. I promise I won't try anything against you. I promise from the heart.”

She laughed. “Okay, okay, cutie, I believe you, is that okay?”, you nodded and kissed her again. As you pulled away, Misty looked at you and away. “But now, please let me get rid of that awful pallor of yours, babe. Let's get some morning sun and take the opportunity to visit my garden halfway through. We have some beauties to water and ressurrect.”

#misty day #misty day x reader #ahs x reader #american horror story coven #american horror story #lgbt #romance #oneshot #fluffy #angst #lily rabe #lily rabe x reader #please send me requests #i love misty #i'm obsessed with her and her swamp i want to live in there

[1julak1]

Fortuitous pt. 1

Sanemi cosplayer x fem!reader

_____________________________

Word count: 1.5k

Notes: So, I'll be completely honest - I have no idea what i'm doing there and why. The idea just popped in my head - as something i'd like to do, haha - but then i thought of making a story out of it. So! I want to say - this is not a typical fanfiction with Sanemi, it's about reader with a cosplayer!

Enjoy!

Since her childhood years, YN has been always viewed as a normal, sweet, intelligent girl. Everybody, always, has been jealous of her knowledge, grades, judged her every move and pointed out smallest mistakes.

But yes, YN has always been a normal girl.

Going into her teenage years, she had plans - ambitions, big hopes for the future, aiming for college and a good middle school to get her ready info further life.

But when she actually got accepted into her new school, she didn't realise how much of a mistake it would actually be.

The first year was going quite well, nothing seemed to be foreshadowing the nightmare that her school days would become. But as YN's best friend - only true friend in class she had - changed schools. Gradually, YN has dropped her grades, and started closing up from others.

Going into second year, her life became an absolute nightmare. Scared of talking to people, teachers, ditching school, getting authorities over her head - it seemed like NOTHING was going well anymore.

Her cousin enraged her, also. She never had perfect relationship with her, but what made her most furious was their conversation weeks ago.

°°°

Why do you even want to switch schools?? With your attitude, you're always going to complain about anything. Everything's going to be the same whatever you do. <

YN gazed at the message, her mind flaring with anger.

The next messages her cousin sent were just self-centered yapping about how she struggled with her own work, her colleagues, her situation, her mood, her feelings - her, her, her, her. Not even once has she thought of YN's feelings. The fact she may not be in total control of the things going on in her life.

> Go fuck yourself

YN texted back, seething the same words trough her gritted teeth.

Since then, she understood that she doesn't want to have anything to do with that bitch.

°°°

YN was scrolling trough Instagram - once again ignoring the fact she should study - and noticed a quite pretty post. A cosplay of her favorite character.

Oh, right! Because there was an obsession YN had. It was Sanemi Shinazugawa - a character of her all time favorite anime.

- Fucking hot.. it would be lucky to have someone cosplay him for me.. -

She stared at the pic for a moment with a blank expression on her face. And then she blinked, because then it clicked.

Usually YN overthinked everything she did - but not this time. She texted the man without hesitation.

> I've got a deal for you???

And then she waited.

Regretted her decision.

Then waited, waited, waited.

It was agonizing, almost. The hope of the man texting back was slowly fading, replaced by a shame caused by her doing. She was so taken over by this revelation that she dreamed of it, until one day, finally, she woke up to a reply.

What kind of deal?? <

Oh now THAT was the moment for action.

Seeing he was active, she carefully chose a reply.

> I'll pay you to cosplay Sanemi for me

Oh now that's new. If you want a pic with me, i won't make you pay. I suppose you live nearby??? <

The girl's face heated up at his words. From embarrassment, but also because he would be willing to take a picture with her for free. But that wasn't what she wanted.

> No, i don't want a picture. I'll pay you, for pretending to be my boyfriend.

He read that. He's seen that.

Silence.

And do I get to be a lil touchy 😏 <

> I'll cut your salary in half

Worth it <

> Is that a yes??

Let's say so. Where do i meet you up, princess? <

> In front of my school tomorrow, 7.50. I'll send you the adress later

YN felt like she needed a cold shower to take that news. And so, she went to the bathroom and spend nearly an hour there, nearly dying from excitement.

Then it was time to tuck herself to bed, to the thoughts of having a.. new boyfriend???

°°°

The next day, YN was waiting for her "boyfriend" in front of the school. And just when she was about to give up to her anxiousness and get inside the building, somebody grabbed her by the hips and she was pulled against a firm chest.

- Hey, princess~! Not like i stalked your profile, but i did stalk your profile. You're looking even cuter in real life than those silly pictures -

- W-WHAT?!! -

YN was so startled, she almost pushed her elbow into the guy's face.

- Are you insane?? Stop attacking, immediately! -

Just in case not to get murdered, the guy let go of her and stepped aside.

And when YN looked up she was even more startled than before. The guy was towering above her, at least a head taller than her. His hair were white, and he had this makeup indicating those iconic scars on his face. He was wearing a simple white button up shirt - with a few top buttons left undone - and black pants that were tight around his waist.

- I-is that a wig..? -

The guy's face expression softened as a chuckle left his lips. She didn't miss the fact that he had purple contacts.

- Oh? No, i dyed them this way. -

He put a hand over her shoulder, bringing her a tiny bit closer to himself.

- You wanted me to be your boyfriend, why so silent now?? Do you not love me?? -

He pouted, enjoying the teasing. YN huffed, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pulling him after her.

- Let's just get inside -

They didn't exchange a word while walking, but he changed their position, so that now their hands were entwined together.

As they walked down the hallway, some people who knew YN were eyeing her - and she, deep down, swelled with pride.

°°°

YN had to be honest. Having a man like that walking around with her for the whole day, like a puppy, was satisfying. Her lovely "Sanemi" was all smiley - a little out of character - and his acting skills were perfect. He had no problems with playing pretend, as if he and YN knew themselves for a longer time than just those few hours.

- Wait. What even is your name? -

YN spoke about that matter after the first lesson, when she realised she never asked him this - and there were no informations about it on his profile.

- Oh fuck, right, i never told you. I'm loosing my head here with you, see? -

He let our a chuckle and brushed a hand trough his white hair.

- My name's Aiden. But you can just call me Sanemi, you know. That's what i just am for you, right? -

YN raised her eyebrow questionably.

- You sound pretentious -

- Huh?? No offense. You're just oversensitive -

The girl didn't like his response at all, but decided to just wave it off.

For the rest of the day, she had a loyal puppet running around her like he was over the moon with her.

Maybe he was?

Or what's more possible, he just wanted to be worth the money.

What YN noticed, and wasn't against, was for sure, how touchy he was getting. Seems like his message wasn't just a joke and he really was taking the opportunity. Though they knew each other for like... Max 9 hours, YN didn't complain. It would probably be the only time a man would be touching her anyways.

After school, it was time to pay him off. Aiden got dragged out of the school by his "girlfriend" - while he talked with the friends he apparently made - and when YN made sure they were far enough from familiar people, stuck a bunch of bills into his hand.

- Isn't it too much? -

His purple contacts pierced trough her as his confused face expression almost made her giggle.

- I'm paying in advance -

Her explanation was fairly brief, but Aiden didn't comment it. The thing that surprised him was how she just chose to ignore him as she quickly walked down the street.

The girl jolted in surprise as she felt her hand being grabbed.

- Why are you running away from me? Let me just walk you home -

The white haired man spoke, taking YN's silence as an agreement. When they stood in the door to her house, he did so much as to lean down, kiss her cheek and smile before walking away with a little wave.

- See you tomorrow! -

YN was too stunned to answer to his words, as she stared at him before he disappeared around the corner.

°°°

When she laid in bed, the only thing she could think about were his hands over her, the WHOLE day. She knew she shouldn't, but she felt a tiny squeeze in her heart anytime she recalled how his hands would squeeze her waist or hold onto her own.

And so, even though he wasn't hers, it seemed that YN's "boyfriend" would be what pulls her out of the cage of her own misery.

#kny sanemi #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #cosplayer x reader #cosplay #demon slayer cosplay #Sanemi Shinazugawa cosplay #kimetsu no yaiba sanemi #kimetsu no yaiba ff #kimetsu no yaiba #Sanemi Shinazugawa #sanemi x reader #sanemi x yn #sanemi x you

[konniesreality]

My Sleep Paralysis Experience From Last Night

Hello, guys! Back with another post! Today, I'll be talking about my sleep paralysis experience from last night! Also how I did it! Stay tuned!

What Happened

So, last night, I decided I wanted to have sleep paralysis since I got it a lot when I was younger. I lay on my back, and then almost fell asleep. But then I turned on my side. The reason why was that I was kind of scared to get sleep paralysis so I told myself that I would do it next time. I wasn't rushing anything, and I wanted to just sleep.

But then in my sleep, I turned on my back again. I ended up having a weird but really fun dream (read pink highlights below to read my dream experience) After the dream, I realized that I couldn't move. I was a little freaked out, and for some reason, I was still experiencing the dream while I was awake. I decided to affirm for the void but I got too scared and woke up from the paralysis state.

Honestly, I am not judging the way anyone does stuff, but you really don't need subliminals, affirmation tapes, or any of that stuff, or to set alarms for no reason, you really just need intention. Like I was scared to get into sleep paralysis, but I still had that intention too.

It's very easy and I NEVER see demons in that state, it can be scary but it's pretty relaxing!

I'm going to try again in a few days, It is winter break where I am so I'll have more time. I don't sleep on my back often, and sleeping on your back actually causes sleep paralysis. but anyways, that was a fun experience!

The Fun Dream

So in my dream, I was at my house, and my favorite movie characters were in the dream. They were from Harry Potter (Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna, and Draco) and in this dream, a robber broke into our house. I had ice and water powers in this dream, so I threatened to drown the robber if he didn't tell us the truth. Harry tied up the robber on a chair, and water shot out of my hands. I then ended up using my ice powers and that froze and killed him. Then, I was so mad at my dad (I was 15 in the dream, and I'm not even 15 IRL) I was so mad at him that I drove his car and crashed it. And my cousin was in the passenger seat. We got out of the car and then, Hermione, Ron, Luna, Draco and I got locked up in PRISON. Draco got on his broomstick, used his wand, and we all escaped. Then the dream ended. After that, I had a dream about my BFF. It was so weird.

Honestly, dreams are so fun and random! Like you have no choice but to experience it LMAO!

Thanks for reading! Happy manifesting!

-Konnie

#void success #void #sleep #paralysis #sleepparalysis #fun #dream #dreaming #ask #void success story

[blackwitchspace]

Cw: Reflection, Meditation Afterthought, Long Post

Tw: De_th, Spirits, Veil, Supernatural

Since growing up, I didn't understand why I couldn't be up at night while everyone else was sleeping and the earth, at least on our side, was quiet and still. I would constantly ask my mother to put me in "night school" because day time really disturbed me lmao. During that particular time my premonitions were becoming more frequent, spirits revealed themselves more and downloads sounded like a static filled radio stations (on was still learning how to hone my gift) and I know people joke about "witching hours" but the energy is completely different around a certain time of night.

Witching hours, depending on who you ask, start around 1am but the Veil between life and death are it's thinnest between 3&4. Typically during this time the Spirit World is able to visit us a lot easier. The witching hour came from ppl assuming witches cast their spells in the blackness of night undetected 🙄 When certain religions like Christians refer to WH it's bc its believed that's when Christ died. Religious beliefs place his death at 3 pm, and because the "devil" works in inversions, the witching hour, or the time when we are farthest from holy power and supernatural activity is at its greatest, is 3 am.

I've had the pleasure of sitting with people as they cross over, a Death Doula of sorts, and it's usually around the 3am mark. My grandfather reached for me while taking his last breathe around 312 I was angry at him bc I'd just warmed up a quesadilla and was so looking forward to eating it. I was awaken from my sleep unable to breathe when my cousin expired from asphyxiation around 320. I thought I was having an asthma attack, we did everything I knew to do. Breathing treatment, cool air, nothing was working. I remember receiving a phone call about thirty minutes later that he was gone. He was in Cali and Me in Chicago but it felt like for that moment we were every where and no where together.

My earliest memory is of my father which I share often. Around 330 on the 4th of July. I was five. I woke from my sleep telling everyone he was about to d_e but the adults around me assumed it was a fever dream and gave me meds that put me back to sleep which I'm told it was a very active sleep. He succumbed to his injury soon after I settled. I was visiting Alabama at the time and he was in Texas.

Other than de_ath, spiritual downloads are easier to be received during this time and manifesting is also better (especially if you manifest simultaneously with a release/orgasm truthfully masturbation is a great spiritual tool).

A lot of us are doing some sort of work on ourselves that include being comfortable with yourself as your personal gifts are introduced. Till this day I surprise myself being able to tell someone what I see in front of them while being no where near them. Admittedly it used to be scary bc I thought "there's no way this is for real" or I'd be afraid that I'd get judged and talked about (which is a story for another day).

I don't know what prompted me to share any of this, as you all know I don't tell y'all my business outside of sharing my shadow work journey but it's clear one of you needed it.

So the next time you're wide awake those hours, pray (talk to the Universe), meditate (listen to the Universe), then release (let go and allow things to manifest).

This also isn't an invitation to ask my for spiritual help, I'm not an adviser just a Veiled Bae sharing experiences.

I hope today brings each of you warmth.

🌑

#personal #witch of color #black witch #witch

[killerandhealerqueen]

2022 in Review (Aka all the fics I wrote in 2022)

This will be a very long post so don't worry, I'll make sure to put "keep reading" because I'm pretty sure that I wrote like...80+ fics this year or something like that. (Also, just fyi, all of these fics are in order by the day they were posted, starting from January 1st)

Red Lipstick | Rating: T | Word Count: 2,645

Summary: Keying gets red lipstick from Zhong Yiren and asks Chen Yuzhi to put it on her. She then puts the red lipstick on Chen Yuzhi and Chen Yuzhi finds that he looks rather good in red lipsticks. Jiang Yuelou has to agree.

First fic of 2022. It was inspired by a headcanon that was sent to me about Chen Yuzhi wearing red lipstick and I loved the headcanon so much that I had to turn it into a fic

Sweet Dreams | Rating: G | Word Count: 1,321

Summary: It was a quiet night as Kim Gaon was sitting in the in dining room, working on some case work for an upcoming case that they were working on, his fingers flying over the keys of his laptop. As he was working, he reached over and picked up his coffee cup, about to take a sip when a loud scream echoed throughout the mansion. Gaon’s eyes widened and his head whipped to the sound, immediately putting the coffee cup down. “Elijah” he breathed, quickly shooting up out of his chair and running out of the dining room.

A writing prompt sent to me that asked for worried parents!Kim Gaon and Kang Yohan.

路人甲 | Passerby | Rating: M | Word Count: 50,954

Summary: Jiang Yuelou knew that nothing good could come from being called to the throne room by himself. Now, there was nothing wrong with being called to the throne room, except Jiang Yuelou was usually called to the throne room with the other generals for strategy meetings or other manners of business that the Emperor wanted them involved in. Jiang Yuelou was never called to the throne room alone unless the Emperor wanted someone assassinated as Jiang Yuelou was not only the Southern Kingdom’s finest war general, but also the Emperor’s personal assassin who took care of people the Emperor considered a “problem”.

My Killer and Healer wuxia au. I had never written a wuxia au before but I had gotten two headcanons asking for wuxia aus for Killer and Healer (as Mao Zijun and Ian Yi both have acted in wuxias) so I decided to write a fic. I really do love it; it was a great fic to work on

My Judge | Rating: T | Word Count: 1,830

Summary: Today was probably the worst day for Jinjoo to be sick. They had a fuckton of trials to preside over and when Gaon had gotten the call that morning from Jinjoo that she woke up feeling really bad and that she probably couldn’t come in, Gaon let out a groan.

Inspired by a fic prompt sent to me by an AO3 reader who requested a prompt where a new judge flirts with Gaon and Yohan gets jealous

Undercover | Rating: M | Word Count: 6,984

Summary: It was a quiet afternoon in the Jingcheng Police Department as Jin Dacheng sat at his desk, holding his head in his hands as he wracked his brain for a solution. See, he was very close to closing a case of his as he had all the pieces lined up, but he just needed the last piece, which was his mark, whom they couldn’t let it be known that he was their mark, so the whole case was very…frustrating. As he sat there at his desk, wracking his brain, one name kept coming up over and over again and every time he pushed the name out of his mind, but it kept coming back, causing him to groan. ‘No, no, no. Anybody but him. Can we ask anybody else but him?!’ he exclaimed.

Inspired by a headcanon where Jin Dacheng asks Chen Yuzhi to help him go undercover for a mission and the mission goes terribly but thankfully Jiang Yuelou' there to save the day

Fever | Rating: T | Word Count:

Summary: Chen Yuzhi hated being sick.

A writing prompt that asked for a sick Chen Yuzhi and a caretaking Jiang Yuelou

Through the Eyes of Another | Rating: T | Word Count: 1,541

Summary: Kang Yohan and Kim Gaon's relationships through the eyes of the people around them

A writing prompt asking for Kang Yohan and Kim Gaon's relationship through the eyes of the people around them

新年快乐 | Happy New Year | Rating: T | Word Count: 5,212

Summary: Chen Yuzhi had never really a big fan of the Lunar New Year, even when he was a child.

A fic that I wrote for the Chinese New Year. Since I'm 1/4th Chinese, I felt it was only fair to celebrate my heritage with this fic (also since I did a New Years fic, I figured I should do a Chinese New Years one as well)

Good Kitty | Rating: G | Word Count: 2,487

Summary: When Xiao Bai first met Jiang Yuelou, he was literally just a baby, just a scrawny little dirty thing under some boxes in an alley, meowing pitifully from the cold and the hunger.

A writing prompt that asked for Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi's relationship through the eyes of Jiang Yuelou's cat, Xiao Bai. The little rascal plays matchmaker between the police chief and the young doctor

Chocolate-Covered Strawberries and Roses | Rating: G | Word Count: 3,213

Summary: Chen Yuzhi had always found the concept of Valentine’s Day fascinating. Mainly because it wasn’t a thing he experienced when growing up in China. Only when he moved away to go to medical school did he understand what the day was about. And of course he learned there were many different ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day: between couples, between friends, candygrams for school children…it was a whole new experience for him and he quite enjoyed it, especially when he was on the receiving end of many gifts (he liked the gifts more than he did the confessions but of course he was never rude about them and politely took the cards before promptly hiding them in a box and never opening them).

A Valentine's Day fic for our beloved doctor and police chief...also I just wanted to write a cute and fluffy fic without any angst

In Too Deep | Rating: M | Word Count: 62,178

Summary: It was a dark and quiet early morning as Dr. Chen Yuzhi stood at the nurse’s station in the ER, signing off on some paperwork when three men dressed in suits came walking towards the emergency room door. As they got closer, Chen Yuzhi noticed them out of the corner of his eye and felt his blood run cold; nothing good ever came from people dressed in suits walking towards a hospital emergency room, especially not at one o’clock in the morning.

A revamp/rewrite of this fic that I first wrote in 2021...I didn't like how the second half of the fic went in 2021 so I decided to rewrite it and make it better. Very happy with how it turned out

Lullaby | Rating: G | Word Count: 2,151

Summary:

“Where the hell have you been?” he demanded. Gaon huffed. “It’s a long story…can I come inside? It’s cold” he stated. Yohan hummed before he stepped aside, letting Gaon inside the mansion as he shut the door behind him before turning to look at him. “Now where were you? I didn’t think you had that much work to finish” he mused. Gaon shook his head. “I didn’t. I finished and went to get some dinner when I found them” he replied as he turned to face Yohan, showing him the baby in his arms.

A writing prompt that asked for Gaon finding a baby in an alley and taking it home for he and Yohan to take care of for the night before calling child services in the morning. Cue soft/fatherly!Kim Gaon and Kang Yohan

Oh Jinjoo's Keen Observation | Rating: G | Word Count: 2,797

Summary: Oh Jinjoo wasn’t stupid like everyone liked to believe. She was a judge for Christ’s sake and not just any judge, oh no, she was one of Kang Yohan’s judges which meant that while she was chosen for her looks (that’s at least what the producers told her), she was also chosen for her brains because Kang Yohan refused to work with stupid people. And Oh Jinjoo wasn’t stupid. She also had rather keen observation skills, which came in quite handy, especially when it came to her coworker and friend, Kim Gaon, and their boss, Kang Yohan.

A writing prompt that asked for a fic that had the people of the courthouse's pov of Kim Gaon and Kang Yohan's relationship. And since Jinjoo is a part of the courthouse, I decided to write the fic from her perspective

恨君不似江楼月 | Killer and Healer | Rating: M | Word Count: 172,474

Summary: It was a dark and stormy night as a tall man with light skin, brown eyes, and dark brown hair dressed in a three-piece suit was riding his bicycle down a dirt road, a doctor’s kit in the bicycle’s side basket.

My beloved Killer and Healer rewrite that is still a WIP. I decided that in honor of Killer and Healer's one year anniversary, I was going to rewrite the drama and give our characters (majority of them anyways) their happy fucking ending. Because we don't speak about episode 37

Pandora's Box | Rating: T | Word Count: 2,803

Summary: Jin Dacheng never understood Jiang Yuelou, not even when he met him for the first time when he joined the police bureau as a new officer. Unlike most officers who were bright eyed and bushy-tailed, Jiang Yuelou’s eyes were like that of a veteran police officer, who had seen things most people never in their lives ever dreamed of seeing. Jin Dacheng had always wondered what made Jiang Yuelou tick because the man hardly ever revealed anything personal about himself and really the only emotions Jiang Yuelou ever showed anyone at the police bureau, besides his two subordinates and Commissioner Bai, was contempt, distain, or rage. Honestly, if you asked anyone at the Jingcheng Police Bureau, they would tell you that Jiang Yuelou was like Pandora’s Box, full of demons, and anger and horrible things. No one dared to get close, in fear that they might release his inner demons, yet one person dared to not only get close to Jiang Yuelou but to open him up and release his demons…and see the real man behind the mask. Jiang Yuelou’s own Pandora: Chen Yuzhi.

A writing prompt that requested a fic where Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi are being all lovey-dovey and Jin Dacheng sees it. I decided to do a 5+1 fic for this particular prompt because I felt like it fit the request

"Z" for Zhan | Rating: M | Word Count: 9,431

Summary: Killing was either incredibly easy or incredibly difficult for people. And for Zhan Yao, killing was as easy as breathing air.

A writing prompt that requested an assassin!Zhan Yao fic and I cannot say no to anything mafia or assassin related

Don't Touch Jiang Yuelou's Doctor | Rating: T | Word Count: 5,798

Summary: It was a nice and quiet evening as Jiang Yuelou, local triad leader of the 天狗吃日, and his husband, Dr. Chen Yuzhi, sat across from each other at a rather fancy restaurant, just enjoying each other’s company. “Is this nice, Yuzhi? Just the two of us” Jiang Yuelou mused. Chen Yuzhi smiled and nodded. “Mm. I can’t remember the last time we actually got to sit down and just…enjoy ourselves. Without being called away to work or…business” he replied.

A writing prompt that requested a mafia au where Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi are out to dinner and Chen Yuzhi gets poisoned after eating Jiang Yuelou's food (since they brought out the wrong order). Always enjoy writing mafia aus. Always, always, always

Can't Lose You | Rating: T | Word Count: 2,892

Summary: Wushuang knew better than to turn his back on Dayu. He knew better.

A writing prompt that was requested by a mutual. My first Master, Wait a Moment fic

Kang Yohan's Bodyguard (And Sugar Baby) | Rating: T | Word Count: 3,227

Summary: Never in his life did Kim Gaon think that he was going to be a bodyguard, let alone a bodyguard for the biggest judge in all of Korea, Kang Yohan. Hell, Gaon didn’t even know what he was signing up for whenever he agreed to take on the job assignment, he was just told that he would be paid well if he acted as a bodyguard for a client attending a gala. Which he could do. He could stand by someone’s side or just within their line of vision while they shmoozed and rubbed elbows with the richest of the rich. That wasn’t that hard. But little did he know that when he pulled up to the big, black imposing mansion on the day of the event, that he was stepping into the lion’s den.

A writing prompt that requested a lawful husband bodyguard au where Gaon is Yohan's bodyguard and every time they attend a fancy event, the rich people think he's Yohan's sugar baby

Indebted to You | Rating: T | Word Count: 5,325

Summary: Kang Yohan did not like to be indebted to people. He did not like having to pay people back after requesting their help…he was brought up to be independent and to not ask for help but there were times when sometimes…asking for help was the only option.

A writing prompt that requested a role reversal au where Gaon is the leader of a gang and Yohan goes to him for help when Elijah is kidnapped

A Beautiful Day with the Man I Love | Rating: T | Word Count: 3,225

Summary: It was a bright and beautiful day in Jing City but instead of enjoying it like everyone else, Chief Jiang Yuelou was sitting in his office, going over some case files.

A writing prompt that requested Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi being lovey-dovey in Chen Yuzhi's clinic and Jiang Yuelou's subordinates see them. A very cute and fluffy fic. I had fun with this one

You're Safe Now | Rating: M | Word Count: 8,574

Summary:

“Yuelou” he greeted, a soft smile on his face. Jiang Yuelou smiled in return, but it looked strained and his eyes looked sad, causing Chen Yuzhi to frown. “What’s wrong?” he asked. Jiang Yuelou looked at him before he sighed. “Follow me” he murmured. Chen Yuzhi raised an eyebrow but followed after him as they headed to the morgue, walking over to one of the many refrigerators. Jiang Yuelou then opened the refrigerator door and pulled out the tray, the body covered with a white sheet. However, instead of immediately lowering the sheet so that Chen Yuzhi could see the deceased’s face, he hesitated and took a deep breath before he looked at Chen Yuzhi. “Are you ready?” he asked. Chen Yuzhi frowned slightly before he nodded, Jiang Yuelou taking another deep breath before he lowered the white away from the body’s face, revealing a little girl, almost around the same age as Keying, maybe a few years younger. 

A very gruesome, dark, and graphic case fic. It was a writing prompt that was already rather dark to begin with but being me, with my forensic background and love of watching detective/crime dramas/shows, I had to make it darker. I love this fic but holy shit is it dark

Bathed in Blood | Rating: T | Word Count: 3,787

Summary: Qingming was used to seeing blood, he was an ER doctor after all. However, he had never met someone constantly covered in it, until he met Boya, known throughout the criminal underworld as “Demon Hunter”.

A writing prompt that requested a fic using the prompts “whose blood is that?”” and ““are they dead? did you kill them?” And you know me, when I hear prompts like this, it just screams mafia au...so that's what I wrote

Bubble Tea and Guns | Rating: T | Word Count: 4,110

Summary: It was a bright and sunny day as Kim Gaon, a young manager of a café, was working behind the counter of a coffee shop when a young girl with light skin, long black hair, and brown eyes wearing a backpack walked into the coffee shop, looking around.

A writing prompt that requested for mafia leader Kang Yohan to request Kim Gaon's help to figure out who's pinning a child/human trafficking ring on him. I love writing mafia aus, as we all know, so I had to take this request

Don't Touch My Family | Rating: T | Word Count: 2,835

Summary: People should know better than to not touch what doesn’t belong to them but unfortunately for Tang Fan and the line of work he was in…people didn’t know better because when he returned home from work that day, he was surprised to find the house…eerily quiet.

A writing prompt that requested unhinged/feral!Tang Fan. Another mafia au, of course because why the fuck not?

Asking Permission | Rating: T | Word Count: 2,998

Summary:

It was a quiet afternoon as Dr. Chen Yuzhi sat in his office, looking over some patient files on his computer when there was a knock on his door, making him look up in surprise. “Come in” he called out, the door opening before a tall man with light skin, brown eyes, and short black hair poked his head inside, a small smile on his face. “Yuzhi” he replied, making Chen Yuzhi look at him in surprise before he smiled. “Yuelou” he greeted, quickly saving and exiting out of the file before he stood up and walked over to the man, Chief Jiang Yuelou, as he stepped into the office and shut the door behind him.

A writing prompt that requested a modern au where Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi are boyfriends/dating and they ask each other's parents permission to get married

Welcome Home | Rating: G | Word Count: 1,210

Summary: t was a quiet evening at the Sui-Tang residence, with Sui Zhou and Tang Fan in the kitchen, Tang Fan supervising Sui Zhou’s cooking while Dong’er played with their pet sheep in the courtyard, when there was a sudden knock at their door, making Tang Fan, Dong’er, and Sui Zhou towards the door in surprise.

A writing prompt that requested domestic/soft Sui Zhou and Tang Fan with a splash of Wang Zhi and Dong'er. A fun and cute family fic

I'll Watch Over You | Rating: T | Word Count: 4,297

Summary: Gaon hated bodyguards. He didn’t see the point of them, and they gave away his status as someone of power. Sure, he was the son of a gang boss, but he didn’t want to be associated with that sort of lifestyle. He was a lawyer now and he didn’t need some buff dude dressed in a suit following him around all of the time. And while yes, he still some…bad habits, like punching defendants when they got on his last nerve, he really didn’t need a fucking…babysitter.

A writing prompt that requested a fic where Gaon, who is the reckless young son of a gang leader, gets a bodyguard by the name of Kang Yohan. Gaon hates his fucking guts but for good fucking reason

The Detective and the Assassin | Rating: T | Word Count: 23,598

Summary: Jiang Yuelou was probably one of the most, if not the most, feared police officers in Jing City. Every criminal, both career and petty, knew his name and trembled at the very thought of him because Jiang Yuelou was just that damn good. The minute you assigned him to a case, he wouldn’t stop or rest until the criminal was apprehended and placed behind bars and because of this tenacity and work ethic, he was assigned to work a new case, but little did he know that this case would change his life forever.

Y'all know me, I love detective/case fics, mafia aus, and assassin aus so I decided to write this fic. Loved working on it, it was so much fun

Sleep Well | Rating: G | Word Count: 1,678

Summary: Bai Jinbo loved Jiang Yuelou.  Even though he was not his biological son, he was still Bai Jinbo’s son.

A writing prompt that requested a Killer and Healer fic full of fluff and cuddles for Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi and Bai Jinbo accidentally sees. It turned more into a Bai Jinbo pov fic but that's okay because it's a cute fic

Good Boy | Rating: T | Word Count: 4,767

Summary: Gaon used to consider himself a “good boy”.

A writing prompt that requested a mafia au for lawful husbands. Gaon is a lawyer who had an...interesting/rough past and one day he saves Kang Yohan, the head of the largest mafia family in Seoul

Happy Birthday, Cat | Rating: T | Word Count: 2,283

Summary: Zhan Yao was never really a big fan of his birthday. To him, it was just a day that he had been born on, nothing special, nothing really worth celebrating. When he was growing up, he had gotten the occasional “happy birthday” from his parents, and maybe a present if his father was feeling generous, but his birthday had never really been a birthday until he met Bai Yutong. Bai Yutong made his birthdays fun and made him…not hate his birthdays. Which was something he never thought he would ever say.

A writing prompt that requested a fic where Bai Yutong "forgot" Zhan Yao's birthday and spent it with Feng Jie instead. Once Bai Yutong realizes what an asshole he is, he makes it up to Zhan Yao

Into the Woods | Rating: M | Word Count: 43,614

Summary: It was a calm and peaceful night as a tall young man dressed in black robes, with light skin, brown eyes, and long dark brown hair pulled up in a half-up, half-down, the half-up part of the ponytail adorned with four braids while four smaller braids framed his face, walked through the forest that surrounded the kingdom, basket in hand as he was out collecting ingredients for his latest potion. As he walked through the forest, enjoying the crisp night air that caressed his face, a scream suddenly echoed throughout the forest, an explosion following shortly afterwards. At the scream, the young man paused and looked around, a frown of confusion on his face. ‘I thought I was the only one out here at this hour…so who screamed?’

I also love witch aus, so I wanted to write a multi-chaptered fic where Chen Yuzhi was a witch, Jiang Yuelou was a king, and Keying was a princess. My favorite type of fairytale fic

Family Surrounding Me | Rating: T | Word Count: 6,154

Summary: Gaon knew that he was being watched. He wasn’t dumb; his best friend was a fucking cop and his boss was Kang fucking Yohan , so of course he learned how to pick up when someone was staring and follow him. And they had been…for a while. Ever since Gaon went back to work at the Court after the whole…explosion, he had gained more fans (which was fine, he guessed) but some of them…some of them had no boundaries. Especially the one that had been following him for the past couple of months. Gaon didn’t know them…he never knew any of his fans personally, which was probably for the best because if he knew them personally…they would want more. And Gaon didn’t want to give them more; he didn’t want to give them anything at all! He just wanted them to leave him the hell alone.

A gift for a friend who had written a fic for me...so I thought I was going to return the favor

Safe and Sound | Rating: M | Word Count: 13,008

Summary: It was a quiet night as Chen Yuzhi was heading home from a long day at his clinic, and he was tired. Honestly, all he wanted to do was relax and eat a hot meal with his sister, take a shower, and then go to bed. However, the universe did not seem to share his ideals of a perfect night because as he got closer to his home, he noticed a black car parked in front of his house, making him frown. ‘Who the hell is that?’ he wondered as he continued to walk closer, only to let out a horrified gasp when he saw two men get out of the car and yank his little sister, Keying, who had been sitting on the steps waiting for him, into the car. “Keying!” he shouted, immediately running towards the car.

A fic prompt from a good friend/reader on AO3 who requested a fic where Keying gets kidnapped by human traffickers and Chen Yuzhi has to agree to be a messenger/drug runner/supplier for the triads. Jiang Yuelou, another triad leader, offers to help Chen Yuzhi get his sister back without dirtying his hands. I absolutely loved this prompt and had so much fun working on it

Chen Yuzhi is MINE | Rating: T | Word Count: 6,360

Summary: Jiang Yuelou never considered himself a jealous person.  He never cared if someone had a higher rank than him, if someone had more than him, if someone had more cases solved than him…he never cared about that.  He was grateful for what he had and because of his background, he knew not to be jealous or covet things because of he knew what that could do to a person.  But then…then he met Dr. Chen Yuzhi, and everything changed.  He always wanted to be around the young man and anytime a case required his assistance, Jiang Yuelou wanted to be the one to fetch him.  Not Song Rong, not Sun Yongren, not any other officer.  Him.  He wanted any chance to spend time with the young doctor and he did not like sharing.

A writing prompt that requested a fic where Jiang Yuelou was possessive of Chen Yuzhi and did not like sharing his doctor with anyone. A delight to write because writing jealous/possessive Jiang Yuelou is always fun

I Missed You | Rating: T | Word Count: 4,220

Summary: Lee Joongyeop hadn’t set foot in Korea in years. After leaving after the Chimera case, he had decided to go back to England and work there as a doctor at the St. Thomas’ Hospital for a few years before he realized that…he wasn’t happy and that he missed Korea. Well, no. He didn’t miss Korea, but he missed a certain loudmouthed Korean, so he decided to head back to Korea for good. And he hoped…he hoped the person he missed would be happy to see him.

My first fic for the Chimera fandom. A lovely little post-canon reunion fic between Lee Joongyeop and Cha Jaehwan

Two Heads are Better than One | Rating: G | Word Count: 2,897

Summary: Chen Keying never had a problem making friends. With her kind demeanor and bubbly personality, she was a friend to everyone she met, so when she heard that there was a new student transferring to her school, she knew that it was her mission to become friends with them.

A writing prompt that requested a crossover fic between Killer and Healer and The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty. Since Keying and Dong'er are very similar, it was a no brainer to write a fic of them together

Miscommunication, My Beloved | Rating: T | Word Count: 3,800

Summary: Jiang Yuelou was a very observant person, especially when it came to Chen Yuzhi. He was always watching the young doctor, but not in a creepy way, he just…wanted to make sure that nothing bad ever happened to him, as Chen Yuzhi had the unfortunate luck of always somehow getting into trouble. So Jiang Yuelou just watched him to make sure that…he was alright. (And maybe he just liked seeing the young man. You couldn’t fault him for that).

While I hate miscommunication in fics, sometimes it can make for a good story...but they need to talk in the end because if they don't, it just drives me fucking insane. Like no, just fucking talk to each other damn it

You're Not Alone | Rating: T | Word Count: 2,090

Summary: Shen Yi didn’t like talking about his past. Hell, he didn’t like talking about himself in general. He was personable, sure, but anything he told you was superficial and surface level information…nothing truly deep or to the heart. But Du Cheng…fucking Du Cheng somehow managed to worm his way under his skin and know things about him that he…never wanted people to know. But he didn’t know everything…and Shen Yi was determined to keep it that way.

A writing prompt requesting a fic about Shen Yi's past. My first fic for the Under the Skin fandom

The Doctor and the Demon | Rating: T | Word Count: 9,409

Summary: Jiang Yuelou hated being bored. And when you’re a high-ranking demon who spends his days doing nothing but torturing souls, you can’t help but be bored.

Supernatural fics are my jam, like seriously, so I always enjoy getting writing ideas about them. And this one was just...so good. Just so good

Always Be There For You | Rating: T | Word Count: 4,514

Summary: Du Cheng knew this mission was a bad idea the moment it came out of Shen Yi’s mouth. As he sat there, listening to Shen Yi explain that he would act as a buyer to try and buy back an incredibly rare and stolen piece of artwork that was going to be auctioned off at an underground, illegal art auction, the frown on Du Cheng’s face kept deepening until he was practically scowling. Once the meeting was over, Du Cheng quickly stood up from his chair and grabbed Shen Yi by the wrist before he dragged him to Shen Yi’s office, Jiang Feng and Li Han watching them leaving with small frowns on their faces. “How mad, on a scale of one to ten, is Captain Du?” Li Han murmured. Jiang Feng scoffed. “Hella” he answered.

A writing prompt requesting a fic where Shen Yi goes off on his own and gets kidnapped. And Du Cheng is not happy about it

Ready for War | Rating: M | Word Count: 8,479

Summary: Chen Yuzhi had never been on the front lines before. Honestly, he had never actually wanted to work as a doctor in the military, but he was told as soon as he finished residency that the army was looking for another doctor to help out in the clinic and being the kindhearted person that he was, he agreed. Besides, it couldn’t be that bad, could it?

A Soldier!Jiang Yuelou x Medic!Chen Yuzhi. It originally came in as a headcanon request and I liked the idea so much that I decided to turn it into a fic. It was my first time writing something like this, but I really enjoyed the challenge

Golden Retriever, Black Cat | Rating: G | Word Count: 2,887

Summary: Shen Yi was like a cat.

A writing prompt that requested a fic of Du Cheng and Shen Yi's first kiss. It's a cute little fic and the way the first kiss happened was just...so cute. So Du Cheng and Shen Yi

Pretty Eyes, Pretty Knives | Rating: T | Word Count: 11,770

Summary:

It was a quiet night in Jing An as Prince Jiang Yuelou lay in his bed, fast asleep in peaceful slumber. As he slept, unbeknownst to him, a figure dressed in all white with a white scarf covering half of his face quietly crept through his open window and walked over to his bed, only to freeze when their foot stepped on a creaky board. At the sound, Jiang Yuelou’s eyes flew open (as he was a rather light sleeper), and he turned towards the intruder, only to have a blade suddenly pressed against his throat. He froze for a moment before he suddenly lashed out and grabbed the assassin’s wrist, first pushing the blade away from his throat before he yanked the assassin onto his bed and used his strength to flip himself over so that he was on top, pinning the assassin down. “Who sent you?” he growled.

This was another headcanon that I decided to turn into a fic because I liked the idea so much. Like I said, I love assassin aus and fantasy aus so...the two together are a match made in heaven

Sing For Me | Rating: T | Word Count: 7,326

Summary: Yu Tangchun loved his job. Some people, of course, thought it shameful, as he worked as a lounge singer, but Yu Tangchun didn’t care. Singing was his passion so to be able to do something that he loved every day as a job was just…it just made Yu Tangchun happy.

This fic was written because I hadn't written a Junchun fic in months and I was itching to write another one. It's another mafia au because...I can and I like them

Sink or Swim | Rating: T | Word Count: 1,863

Summary: As Shen Yi stood on the edge of the rocks, overlooking the sea, he knew what he was about to do was risky, even downright stupid. He knew that if Du Cheng saw him standing here, he would scold him, maybe even drag him back from the ledge…but Du Cheng wasn’t there right now. It was only Shen Yi and the sea.

A writing prompt that requested a fic that expanded on the scene where Shen Yi was about to jump into the ocean to try and regain his memory and instead of having Du Cheng stopping him in time...he came too late

Fate Led Me to You | Rating: T | Word Count: 6,078

Summary: Chen Yuzhi was used to seeing some weird shit in his time as a doctor as he was a former ER doctor, so he had seen…just about everything. Nothing really phased him anymore. However, because he had seen so much shit, it had taken a toll on his mental health, and he decided that he needed to leave the emergency room and…settle down somewhere quiet. And he wasn’t going to lie, after opening up his private clinic, he was so much happier. He enjoyed getting to really know his patients, he enjoyed the slower pace, he loved setting his own hours…and he loved how much calmer everything was. He no longer had to worry about seeing weird shit at all hours of the day…or so he thought.

My 90th fic for the Killer and Healer fandom...this was another self-indulgent fic (like all of my fics are)

Hypnotize Me | Rating: T | Word Count: 3,799

Summary: Zhan Yao knew that something was wrong the minute Bai Yutong walked into the S.C.I. office and made a beeline straight for his office instead of stopping by to talk to Zhan Yao like he did every morning.

A writing prompt that requested a fic where Feng Jie had hypnotized Bai Yutong and Bai Yutong is rude and dimissive to Zhan Yao, much to everyone's, especially Zhan Yao's, surprise and confusion. Don't worry, Feng Jie gets punched for it

Manhunter | Rating: M | Word Count: 13,726

Summary:

It was a pretty normal day in Beijiang as Du Cheng stepped into the Beijiang Police Department, heading for the investigation unit when Jiang Feng quickly rushed over to him, holding a case file in his hand. “Sir. We’ve got a new case” he stated. Du Cheng raised an eyebrow. “So early? Jesus” he murmured before he sighed. “Alright, let me get Shen Yi, I’ll be right there” he stated. Jiang Feng nodded and turned to get things ready as Du Cheng headed over to Shen Yi’s office and knocked before he opened the door and popped his head in. “Hey” he called out, making Shen Yi look up from a sketch he was working on for another case. “Yeah?” he replied. Du Cheng motioned with his head outside. “Come on, we’ve got a case” he stated.

A crossover fic between Under the Skin and S.C.I. The case in this fic is inspired by the Aileen Wuornos case and the Catching Killers episode “Manhunter: Aileen Wurnos”

Drunken Mistake (Sort Of) | Rating: T | Word Count: 1,872

Summary: Jiang Shuo knew he shouldn’t have drunk so much at the bar, but he had a really shitty week and he honestly just kind of wanted to drown it in alcohol.

A writing prompt that requested a fic where Jiang Yuelou kisses a girl and then her boyfriend, just so that he doesn't feel left out. It's a fun fic. It was an interesting prompt and I had never written something like it before, but I always enjoy a challenge

Cross Jurisdiction | Rating: T | Word Count: 8,194

Summary: Every parent’s worst nightmare was getting a call saying that something happened to your kid, so when Bai Yutong’s phone rang early in the morning, just a little after midnight, he was concerned.

A crossover fic between Killer and Healer and S.C.I. Sort of a sequel to my first crossover fic for these two fandoms: Jing City Meets Hong Kong. I had wanted to write a sequel for a long time and I finally got around to write it

The Demon and the Angel | Rating: M | Word Count: 53,869

Summary: Jiang Yuelou worked alone. He didn’t do partners, he didn’t like partners, he didn’t want a partner. So imagine his surprise when he walked into the Crimes Division of the Jing City Police Department to find a tall man with light skin, brown eyes, and dark brown hair dressed in a cream three-piece suit placing his things down on the desk next to Jiang Yuelou’s that usually sat empty.

Funnily enough, this fic came to me while I was actually working on another fic and it just would not leave me the fuck alone until I started working on it. Supernatural fics, like I said before, are my jam and so are case fics, so this was a great mash-up of my favorite things

Walk You Home | Rating: T | Word Count: 4,505

Summary: Du Cheng hated the alley that connected Shen Yi’s house to the road. He hated that it had no lights anywhere at all and he hated that Shen Yi wouldn’t allow him to walk him home. He had offered a few times, especially after he had seen the dark alley for the first time, but Shen Yi always told him he was “perfectly fine” and that “nothing would happen to him”.

A writing prompt that requested a fic where Shen Yi got stabbed in the alley that leads to Shen Yi's house and Du Cheng freaks the fuck out when he finds him, nearly dead due to blood loss

The Revolution | Rating: T | Word Count: 11,353

Summary: Chen Yuzhi hated the government. Hated the way it threw its people like trash, hated the way it treated its workers and those of middle to lower status like they were lesser or even nothing…and most of all, he hated the way the government acted as if nothing was wrong. Everything was wrong and they were doing nothing to fix it. In his opinion, a revolution needed to happen…and happen soon. Or more people were going to suffer and even die. Not like the government cared.

A prompt requested by a friend who asked for a dystopian au fic for Killer and Healer. I had never written a dystopian au before (not really my type of fic) but it was a fun challenge and I think it turned out well

Prettiest Flower in Town | Rating: T | Word Count: 5,902

Summary: It was a rather quiet morning as Chen Yuzhi, owner of Jing City Flowers, was sweeping the floor of his flower shop, getting ready to open when the door to his shop suddenly burst open, causing one of the pots on the shelf by the door to fall to the ground with a loud crash. Chen Yuzhi’s eyes widened and he looked up to see a tall man with light skin, brown eyes, and short black hair dressed in a three-piece grey pinstripe suit and a long black overcoat standing just inside his shop.

A classic au of mafia x florist and we all know I'm a sucker for mafia aus. Funnily enough, this was the fic I was working on when the idea for The Demon and the Angel came to me

Sunshine and Pomegranates | Rating: T | Word Count: 10,438

Summary: It was a bright and sunny day as Chen Yuzhi, the God of Spring, sat in his garden, tending to his flowers. As he lovingly ran his fingers over his flowers, he heard a crunch come from the forest surrounding his garden, causing him to freeze before he slowly turned to see a little girl, no older than eight or nine, looking at him with curious eyes from the shadows.

I am a slut for Greek Mythology and I always loved the myth of Hades and Persephone and I was so shocked that Killer and Healer didn't have a fic using the myth so I decided to take it upon myself to write such a fic but with a twist

So This Is What Love Feels Like | Rating: G | Word Count: 1,833

Summary: Jiang Yuelou had experienced many things in his life; pain, anger, sadness, rage…but he had never experienced something like this. And it was all because of Chen Yuzhi.

This was a lovely, lovely headcanon sent it by an anonymous reader of mine and the message they had written before the request was just so beautiful, it brought me to tears. But anyways, I took the headcanon and turned it into a fic because it NEEDED to be a fic

My Everything | Rating: T | Word Count: 3,995

Summary: Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi hardly ever fought. They had great communication skills, they talked out everything that was bothering them…they really hardly ever got into arguments, unless Jiang Yuelou was being stubborn in his ways and refused to see any other way or listen to anyone else’s opinion. Today was one of those days.

This was a writing prompt that was sent at the perfect time because I was itching to write a prompt and this prompt was just...so perfect. So full of angst, which is just...so me

The Demon of Jing City | Rating: M | Word Count: 14,095

Summary: It was a loud and boisterous evening as Dr. Chen Yuzhi, dressed in a fancy white suit with a silver masquerade mask over his face, pressed himself up against the wall of the mansion the masquerade party was being held at. He honestly hated attending parties like this. He wasn’t very much of a party person and being here just made him feel overdressed, out of place and just over all…very uncomfortable.

I wrote a lot of mafia aus this year, but this was one of my favorites that I had written. I love me some mafia aus, if you already couldn't tell

Burn the World to the Ground for You | Rating: T | Word Count: 4,274

Summary: Bai Yutong was fucking pissed. It had been months now that he and his team had been trying to bring Jiang Yuelou, head of the 天狗吃日, to justice but they just couldn’t because 1) Jiang Yuelou was a slippery motherfucker and 2) anytime he was in Hong Kong, he always seemed to leave just before Bai Yutong and his team could catch him.

Another crossover fic between S.C.I. and Killer and Healer. This was a headcanon prompt that I turned into a fic because 1) I love crossovers and 2) it's a mafia au. I can't so no to mafia aus. I just can't

The Doctor's Bodyguard | Rating: T | Word Count: 11,509

Summary: Chen Yuzhi, quite frankly, hated bodyguards. Even though he was the heir to one of the largest triads in Jing City, he wanted nothing to do with the triad lifestyle and just wanted to live a normal life as a doctor. His father, however, had other ideas and told him that he had hired a bodyguard for his safety, much to his horror.

Again, another mafia au. Like I said, I love mafia aus and I always have ideas for them. They're just so much...fun! And they have so much potential!

Take a Bullet for You | Rating: T | Word Count: 4,610

Summary: Run.  Just keep running.  That’s all Gaon could think to himself as he ran through the ratty and run down area that the Blue House wanted to turn into some glorious and beautiful sanctuary for its people.  Juk Chang was right on his fucking heels and Gaon knew that if he even slowed for a second, that psychopath and his goons would catch him and tear him apart.

This was a prompt that I had in my abandoned prompts folder because I had just gotten overwhelmed with the amount of prompts coming in for the Devil Judge fandom. But I had gotten bored and wanted to go through some of the old prompts and see what I had and picked this one

圣痕 | Stigmata | Rating: M | Word Count: 24,479

Summary: Detective Chen Yuzhi had a "unique constitution". He could sense the lingering thoughts of murder victims, and experience the circumstances of how they died with his own body in a reaction similar to stigmata. Due to his "constitution", he was placed in a newly created unit known as "Unit Six" headed by Chief Jiang Yuelou, Chen Yuzhi's supervisor and partner.

This case fic was inspired by a manga that I had read by the same name. I loved the manga and decided that I had to turn it into a fic for Killer and Healer. I highly recommend you read the manga, it's so good

Beast & Feast | Rating; T | Word Count: 16,974

Summary:

“Triad members…shit” Chen Yuzhi whispered before he turned and made to head back when his arm was suddenly grabbed, forcing him to stop and turn to see a tall man with light skin, brown eyes, and short black hair looking at him with wide eyes before he smiled. “I knew it was you, Yuzhi” he purred. Chen Yuzhi blinked before he gasped. “Jiang Yuelou?!”

Another case fic that was inspired by a manga by the same name. I changed some of the cases because the original manga is yaoi and I don't write smut; I much prefer my version to the original but I do like reading the original every now and then

托斯卡的狗 | Dogs of Tosca | Rating: T | Word Count: 14,929

Summary:

“Shuliang! Downstairs, people from the 白龙 are—” one of the men started, causing the other man, Ma Shuliang, to shake his head. “There’s no way they’d start a gun fight here!” he exclaimed. The other man hummed. “Well, we’ll go check it out” he declared before he turned and headed out of the room, taking another man with him. As they headed downstairs to where the large group of people was, a tall man with light skin, brown eyes, and dark brown hair dressed in a cream suit made his way towards the room that Ma Shuliang was in and stepped inside, looking around before he slowly and quietly walked towards Ma Shuliang, who was distracted by the fighting going on downstairs, and quickly chopped him between the shoulder blades, sending him to the ground. Once he fell, the man pulled a gun out of his waist band and knelt down, pointing the gun at the back of Ma Shuliang’s head. “My my…as to be expected of the Silent Assassin” a voice called out, causing the man in the cream suit to turn and look up to see a tall man with light skin, brown eyes, and short black hair pointing a gun at his head.

A mafia manga that I had to turn into a fic because 1) it's a mafia au and 2) I loved the manga and wanted it to be a fic

Tattoo on My Arm and In My Heart | Rating: T | Word Count: 2,355

Summary: Zhan Junbai really wasn’t the most talkative tattoo artist out there and he certainly wasn’t as talkative as most of his co-workers. Sure, he was informative when it came to one’s tattoo and how to take care of it, the payment method, the placement, allergens, and other important aspects when it came to tattoos, but when it came time to actually tattoo the tattoo, he didn’t really talk and preferred to focus on making sure that the tattoo was perfect.

Okay, this fic was literally so self-indulgent and brought on because I saw a flash of Chen Yucheng's forearm tattoo in a Killer and Healer bts video and I decided that I needed a tattoo artist!Zhan Junbai x busker!Yu Tangchun fic

Stake Me Through the Heart | Rating: T | Word Count: 7,292

Summary: Jiang Yuelou was the greatest and most feared vampire hunter in the world, and he was quite proud of that title too. Every vampire trembled at the mere mention of his name, and from what he heard, other monsters too. That made him chuckle; he knew he was terrifying, but he didn’t realize that he was that terrifying. ‘Good…they should fear me’ he thought to himself.

The first of two fics that I posted for Halloween; I posted it on the first of October and the second fic on the 31st of October. I loved working on this fic because again, it's a supernatural fic. I love me some supernatural fics

Welcome Home | Rating: T | Word Count: 2,267

Summary: After Yohan left Gaon a second time to go back to Switzerland, Gaon tried his best to change the justice system and make it into a system that Yohan would be proud of. However, Kim Gaon was just one man against an entire generation of people who did not want to change the justice system because then they would have to recognize that their justice system was flawed, just like Yohan said, and showed, it was. And no one wanted to admit that Kang Yohan could have possibly been right (heaven forbid).

Another fic prompt from my abandoned prompt folder. I enjoyed working on it; it was a good headcanon when I worked on it originally, so it was nice to turn it into fic form

You're a Good Father, Jiang Yuelou | Rating: T | Word Count: 7,464

Summary: Jiang Yuelou was not the friendliest neighbor. He rarely said hello to anyone that lived around him, save for the woman who worked the wonton stall across from his house, and if he saw someone struggling to open their door if their hands were full…he really wouldn’t rush to help them. However. One day, when he was walking home from work, he noticed a tall man with light skin, brown eyes, and dark brown hair struggling to unlock his gate as his hands were full of what looked like groceries, a little girl, and a medical kit. Now, Jiang Yuelou normally wouldn’t offer help and would just keep walking, but something about the man made him want to help so he quickly walked over to him and reached out, taking his keys from him.

I like the idea of single parent!Chen Yuzhi meeting Jiang Yuelou and Jiang Yuelou being a grump/an asshole to everyone but Chen Yuzhi and Keying and everyone is so shocked by how good of a father Jiang Yuelou is

Hand in Bloody Hand | Rating: M | Word Count: 17,323

Summary:

         ‘This is bad…this is very bad’ Jiang Yuelou thought to himself as he clutched at his bleeding abdomen and stumbled through a dark alleyway.  Just his fucking luck…the one time he tells his subordinates to go home, he’ll be fine…he gets fucking stabbed.          ‘Fuck me’ he grumbled as he continued to stumble through the alley, his warm blood slipping through his fingers onto the ground with every step he took.  He continued to stumble and stagger until he finally could see light coming from a streetlamp and once he finally reached the entrance, his knees suddenly gave out and he collapsed to the ground with a grunt.          ‘Ha…I’m going to die here’ he thought to himself, just as the outline of a person stepped into his blurring line of vision, causing him to frown slightly before his eyes fluttered and everything went black.

Okay, I know I have a lot of mafia aus that I love, but I really loved this one. It's also an omegaverse fic that I haven't written since 2021 so I wanted to try my hand at it again. Really, really proud of this one. One of my favorite mafia aus I've written

My Pirate, My Prince | Rating: T | Word Count: 8,144

Summary: It was a bright and beautiful day as Jiang Yuelou, pirate captain of the Black Opal, looked out over the vast blue ocean, a small smile on his face. There really was nothing better, in his opinion, than looking out over the ocean and having the ocean breeze run through your hair.

This was a headcanon that I turned into a fic because it's a pirate au and I...love pirate aus. I love a lot of aus, okay? Don't judge me

灵魂档案 | The Spirit Files | Rating: M | Word Count: 37,502

Summary:

It was a bright and beautiful day in the kingdom of Jing’an as Inspector Jiang Yuelou walked around the kingdom, just enjoying the sunshine, when one of his most trusted investigators, Song Rong, rushed over to him. “Sir” he breathed, Jiang Yuelou looking over at him with a raised eyebrow. “Song Rong. What is it?” he asked. Song Rong dipped his head. “We have a case, sir” he stated. Jiang Yuelou’s eyes widened before he nodded. “Let’s go” he ordered. Song Rong nodded before he and Jiang Yuelou headed off to the crime scene.

Another wuxia fic! I enjoyed writing my first one so I thought I would write another one. It's still a WIP but I hope to continue it in 2023

死神 | The Grim Reapers | Rating: T | Word Count: 8,319

Summary: Ever since he was a child, Chen Yuzhi had been able to see ghosts. Or spirits, rather. Either way, it was a rather unfortunate gift for one to have, especially if one worked as a doctor, like Chen Yuzhi. Because of his lovely little “gift”, he constantly saw the spirits of people’s loved ones, both young and old, wandering around the hospital and seeing those spirits, day in and day out, was rather taxing on him, both mentally and physically. However, if he ever saw one of those wandering spirits, and no one was around, he would dip his head and greet them with a small smile, causing them to look at him in shock because…he could see them? Also, thanks to his little gift, passings on the operation table were almost twice as painful because he was right there, and he couldn’t save them. So, to clear his head after long days of surgeries and visiting patients, Chen Yuzhi would head outside, walk over to an empty bench, sit down, and sigh.

The second of two fics that I wrote for Halloween. I had always wanted to write a grim reaper fic, so it was fun to work on and it did make me cry at one point, but it was so worth it

Release the Beast | Rating: T | Word Count: 3,971

Summary: Bai Yutong was never late to work. He was such a stickler for people being on time so for him to be late…everyone found it odd, especially Zhan Yao.

A writing prompt that requested a fic where Bai Yutong gets kidnapped instead of Zhan Yao and Zhan Yao...goes feral

Yin and Yang | Rating: T | Word Count: 3,161

Summary: Zhan Yao was a quiet person.  He enjoyed his evenings in silence, mainly using them to decompress and destress from the day, so he certainly wasn’t expecting to hear a loud banging at his door at…one o’clock in the morning (yes, he had a terrible sleep habit, but it was already too late to fix now).  At first when he heard the bang, he thought it was just his neighbor coming home late (because sometimes they worked nights) but at the second loud bang, Zhan Yao slowly looked up from his book and turned towards the door, narrowing his eyes before he quietly closed his book and placed it down, quietly standing to his feet.  He then summoned a ball of black energy and slowly made his way over to the door, standing before it for a moment before he slowly cracked it open and peeked out, only to immediately snuff out the ball of energy and remove all the locks before he threw open the door to see Bai Yutong, Hong Kong’s very own “White Knight” and Zhan Yao’s best friend, standing before him.

A writing prompt that requested a modern magic au for Bai Yutong/Zhan Yao so I decided to do a hero x villain au mixed with magic

Villain and Healer | Rating: T | Word Count: 7,720

Summary: In a world full of heroes and villains…Chen Yuzhi was neither; he was known as a “healer”, someone who came in after the fights between the hero and the villain to heal those who got hurt in the crossfire. And he didn’t mind being a healer, quite the contrary, but…being the only healer in Jing City made things a little…difficult for him because not only did he heal people after major fights between heroes and villains, but he healed them on a daily basis as his…”secret identity” was a doctor (but since he wasn’t considered a hero or a villain, it wasn’t exactly a secret identity). Some days, of course, were harder than other but Chen Yuzhi didn’t mind; he liked being a healer and he was quite proud to be one.

I've really only written villain x hero aus for S.C.I. but I wanted to write one for Killer and Healer, but I decided to do a twist and make it villain x healer instead

Can't Lose You | Rating: T | Word Count: 3,485

Summary: Gaon needed to get out of the house. He was feeling antsy and cagey and he knew that if he stayed in the mansion any longer, he was going to go out of his fucking mind. So, he decided to go out for run, since that seemed to always calm the jitters in his body.

The final fic I wrote for The Devil Judge fandom. I didn't want to write anymore for the fandom, but an anon requested this fic and they asked so politely for it that I couldn't say no

心弦 | Heart Strings | Rating: T | Word Count: 12,194

Summary:  It was a peaceful evening as Chen Yuzhi was heading home from work when he noticed a group of men surrounding one of his co-workers.          “Chu Min?” he called out, making the group of men and his co-worker, a young man by the name of Chu Min, look over at him as he made his way over to them, a small frown on his face.          “What’s going on here?” he asked.

Another manga by the same name that I transformed into a fic. I love this manga a lot and I just love the idea of triad leader!Jiang Yuelou x bartender!Chen Yuzhi.

SPY x FAMILY | Rating: T | Word Count: 52,210

Summary:

It was a bright and beautiful day as a black car was speeding down the highway.          “How much longer to the embassy?” an older gentleman asked.  His driver hummed.          “I believe it’ll be around twenty minutes, sir” he replied, just as they came upon a turn.  He then stepped on the brakes so that they could slow down and safely make the turn but to his horror, he found that the brakes weren’t working.           “Huh?  The brakes aren’t working” he muttered, continuously trying to step on them, just as his passenger looked up, his eyes wide with horror.          “Hey!  In front of you!  Watch out!  Stop!” he exclaimed, just as the car crashed through the guardrails and fell to the empty street below, the entire car exploding in a fiery blaze.

This is the anime that I decided to turn into a fic because as I was watching it, I was like...I need to write this and make an au for Killer and Healer because Loid, Yor, and Anya just fit with Jiang Yuelou, Chen Yuzhi, and Keying. I'm having so much fun with this WIP and I can't wait to finish it sometime this year

Mine and Mine Alone | Rating: T | Word Count: 5,366

Summary: Wushuang didn’t do disciples. It’s not that he hated them, he just didn’t do them. He didn’t like being responsible for someone so much younger than him, even though his master always told him that he would make a great teacher.

My second fic for Master, Wait a Moment and it's a wuxia au. I find that I enjoy writing wuxia aus, almost as much as I enjoy writing mafia aus and case fics

Don't Touch Our Son | Rating: T | Word Count: 4,122

Summary: Bai Yutong and Zhan Yao loved their adoptive son Yangyang and were incredibly protective of him.  So, when Bao Heizei asked them one day if they were willing to let him participate in an upcoming case, alarm bells began going off in their heads.

A writing prompt that requested a fic where Bai Yutong and Zhan Yao's son is used for a case and uh...Bai Yutong and Zhan Yao are not happy about it

Something Good | Rating: T | Word Count: 4,698

Summary:

It was a rather normal day for Tang Fan as he sat at his desk in the government office, working on some paperwork when Jia Kui walked over to him and stood before his desk. “Wang Zhi wishes to see you” he stated. Tang Fan looked up at him before he sighed heavily and pushed himself to his feet; this couldn’t be good. He then followed Jia Kui to Huanyi Brothel, where Wang Zhi did most of his meetings, and headed to the private room that Wang Zhi used to hold his meetings, walking over and sitting down before the young man. “Ah good, you’re here. I need your help” Wang Zhi declared. Tang Fan huffed. “Nothing ever good comes from you asking for my help” he stated. Wang Zhi smiled. “I promise you, something good will come out of this” he promised. 

My last fic of 2022. A case fic where Tang Fan and Sui Zhou have to pretend to be dating to get into a party and Tang Fan has to dress as a woman, which proves both good and bad for the case

#2022 in review #my fics #long post #i wrote so many fics last year holy shit #i hope to write many more this year

[sweetswesf]

Check In

What I Did Today

Leg day

Waved to my crush

Got up BEFORE 5:30 AM & stayed up!

Woke up from what was a good dream right before what was supposed to be the best part

Started 100 Days of Python

Took a VERY long nap that I WANTED to make longer

Argued with my grandmother over text...it was not grand at all

Caught like a runner's high or something...ended up tearing up in the gym

Cried washing dishes listening to a rap-gospel song...yes, I know...judge me if you'd like...I feel HIM all around me!

What I Learned Today

Python's input function...I don't see me using it much, but it was really cool! I had never used it before

Trees

I've been getting more activity than 22 days ago, according to my Apple health metrics...GEEE I wonder why!??!?

The layered "liiiiikkkkeee" background vocals Syd did here around 1:40 (which happens to be the most replayed part of this video, so apparently I'm not the only one that thinks so) !? *CHEF'S KISS*

Feeling

Happy...I have ONE MORE ALGO EXPERT DATA STRUCTURES VIDEO LEFT! I am proud I have been fairly consistent with it, but want to be more consistent with it...

Thinking of focusing on algo patterns next before hopping into the algo videos, just so that I have the context of how to solve things

Nervous for tomorrow...for many reasons...read my last post...I ALREADY have butterflies...these feel like the ones I get before taking a flight...my nervous system is BOOMIN' fam smdh

Sad at the tarnished relationships with my family members

Missing LA AND NY

Takeaways

Gotta block them hata's!

I need this type of prayer and focus when things are going really well in my life...and I try, but my praying wasn't this specific/consistent

How I Got Myself Out of a Rut Today

Pushed myself

Goals Completed

Found a therapist

Stopped listening to people worried about their own circumstances and remembering God works on his own time and that I am in no rush...

Got back on the ball

Being kinder to myself and stopping guilting myself if my energy isn't always on 100%

Goals After Today

Strengthen my relationship with God

Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in 6 months, NOT less than 3

Drop my body fat percentage to Marion Jones, Michaela Cole, or Jade Cargill levels

Consistently fight urge to fill up my time with social media/YouTube

Fully forgive my family & build a great relationship with them

Be more confident & faithful

250 steps/hour & 10k steps/daily consistently

Drink more than 64oz a day consistently

Go on a date with a guy I actually like who actually likes me too

Learn more about my gym crush & get him to ask for my number

Get a house similar to that one in Spain

Update my personal app

#Youtube #tech #software engineering #software engineer #check in #black in tech #black in the bay #san francisco #silicon valley #engineer #python #black women in tech #algoexpert #interview cake #women in tech #technology #startup #tech company #tech company layoffs #layoff #layoffs #syd #the internet #chance the rapper #100 days of code #100 days of python

[anistarrose]

2, 3, 8, 12, 19, 30!

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

Oh god. I think I could do it, but it's actually embarrassing at this point how fast my typing has gotten while my handwriting speed and neatness have degraded. I'd take a phone keyboard over writing by hand tbh, and I am not a fast texter at all. My handwriting's just that bad!

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

Recently I've had a hell of a time writing unless it's either right after I ate something, or right after I got out of the shower. I have no clue how or when I started conditioning myself into this. I don't know how to stop. If you see a really good line in any of my fics, just know there's like a 70% chance I wrote it in my pjs. This will probably remain the case for quite some time.

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

I've written at least one no-dialogue fic before! ...If a teensy tiny 350-word character study counts. But tbh I wrote that one within my first few months in the TAZ fandom and it's still a headcanon I like a lot, so I totally count it.

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

one: the ability to be a fair judge of the quality of my own writing, even when normally my opinion would be clouded by looking at the damn thing for way too long

two: the ability to catch every typo before posting

three: the ability to satisfactorily finish the one specific WIP I started in early 2021 that's 90% done but far too dear to me to post if it's anything less than perfect

19. was already answered!

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

I can't think of an example off the top of my head, but I'm pretty sure I've taken inspiration from dreams before... it's usually pretty vague though, because my ability to remember dreams is pretty low. More often, my good ideas that actually make their way into writing are things I think of right before I fall asleep!

#thank you fex! #ask meme #rosalia answers

[icharchivist]

i obviously respect your choice to remain anonymous about it but i think its very funny that you preside over your completely brainrotted anons every day and still feel mortified about your mystery blorbo. even though were all going insane over granblue people mostly

YEAH NO I ALSO SEE THE IRONY TRUST ME THIS IS REALLY FUNNY TO ME

Like i think it's just in general i am more comfortable talking about things where i do have a layer of separation to it. Like i adore Belial and yes i would kiss him on the lips and more, but at the same time he's not a character who actually affects me on a deeply emotional level where i would be embarassed to talk about him. (or well, not most of the time, there are times where i can get embarassed about him, esp when he shows up in my dreams, but at this point the fact it's BELIAL just makes it so funny to me that the embarrassment feels worth it just because of this fucker. his power.)

In general i do happen to be more shy talking about characters i really, really insanely love. I tend to be more shy talking about Percival for instance, despite the fact the anons all know i adore him and he's my husband and everything.

And it extends to others fanbases because even when it comes to a3 i could literally post long analysis posts on every single characters - except on the two characters i relate deeply about and the one character that makes me go ahhooghhhh so much so i'm embarassed to even say i love him.

It's actually kind of a trend in fandom that i actually don't talk all that much about the character of the franchise in question that makes me fully unwise. on a certain degree, i think i'm just embarassed that my thoughts about them end up being this disorienting to me, all over the place, extremely emotional. And it's not really about being judged, it's more than i'm not used to not be collected about my thoughts and emotions so i end up embarrassed fully on my own behalf.

Mystery Blorbo just is on a whole other level for various reasons, mainly that they've been in my radar for a very very very long while because i knew their themes would interest me but i never got the motivation to get into it until the mofo started to haunt my dreams literally out of nowhere, and it led to a whole lot of very embarrassing situation where i woke up from fever dreams thinking the Blorbo was There and i needed to Do Something About It. Which is MORTIFYING. And as an analytic person, the degree of "oh yeah i know they're like that because i saw it in a dream and then 2 days later i found a canon piece of information that confirmed my dream" is the most bewildering way to interreact with a character i've ever had.

And while there is a degree of being embarrassed of being perceived while the way those feelings are manifesting themselves is pretty weird even by obsessing over characters standards, i'm just also extremely shy about it, and most of the thoughts i have just make me a flustered mess and it's not so much that i think people would judge me for it --- it's really just, "oh yeah no that's too personal to share what the fuck"

so like it's not even that i don't trust people here or that i'm afraid to humiliate myself or something like that, it's really just that the feelings themselves are leaving me "what the FUCK" that it's an experience i'd rather keep to myself. Or at least, i don't want to share it with fans of the character even. (i lurked a bit and figured i don't like the fandom of this thing, so it's even more reason to keep my experience personal yaknow? even if i know i have the anons supporting me even without knowing shit about it)

but the contrast is indeed extremely funny to me because meanwhile i manage the world's most horny and dedicated fans in my inbox, the brainrot runs deep, we discuss a lot of extremely emotional stuff over here, and it's also super humbling the anons are all so comfortable sharing it on here as well!

and meanwhile i'm like, nodding along discussing all sort of various level of brainrot, meanwhile as soon as Mystery Blorbo is involved i'm like

and it IS very funny to me!

Either way i think the vague way to just talk about Mystery Blorbo that way fits me better anyway, that way i can share the embarrassing funny stuff i do without actually sharing information on the Blorbo that would give too much context on everything. Which also means people don't need to know the lore of another fanbase or something to understand when i'm Going Through. Considering the state they put me in anyway it's not like i'd be able to have any constructive conversation about them.

And meanwhile we can then focus more on actual Granblue characters who actually don't fully drive me insane. Except maybe Percival. But even there i'm being so brave about it.

But yeah the fact i can be this calm and collected managing conversations about the deepest of brainrots and then on the flipside refusing to talk about the one brainrot that makes me crumble into dust is definitely an irony that isn't lost on me and that i find really funny as well

thank you for the support 🫡

#ichareply #anonymous #ichafantalks gbf #sort of #all in all the gbf fandom here is family so it's more comfortable just rambling about anything under the sun gbf could offer #Mystery Blorbo's fandom is a strange land i want nothing to do with #and while i can talk about it to the Family i have here it doesn't make me want to share details yaknow?

[coolgirl32]

DC Injustice League guys x My OC nightmare. Like always I will be listing the villains I do like and I will not be putting the villains I do not like on here you all will know that when you see there will be no joker no villains I cannot stand anyway please do enjoy

Owlman yes I know I know but he does have that Wayne good looks also there might be some breeding at who am I kidding there's always breeding in my post 🤣😉😏 what can I say I'm a hoe for this type of stuff don't judge me

The first time she slept with him. Was after she accidentally went to earth-3. there she learns that there was a version of her on Earth-3 but she sadly passed away. So nightmare is now walking around in her civilian disguise but what she doesn't know is that she is being followed by owlman. But she already figured that out so her plan was to lure him and to see what he does next.

While owlman was coming up with a plan he couldn't help but see Jacqulyn? But that was not possible Jacqulyn died 2 years ago how could it be that she was still alive and beautiful as ever so he decided to follow her. When he saw there were some thieves about to jump her he couldn't help but want to save her. But then he couldn't believe his own eyes he saw that she was defending herself and she had powers too. This was getting weird even for him he didn't know who this woman was but he knows it's not his Jacqulyn. So he went back to his lair and looked her up he realized that she was not from this world she was from a different world one where she has magical abilities to make anything and do anything she wants. He doesn't know how and he doesn't know why but he doesn't care because he finally gets a second chance to reunite with his love. That night he came up with a plan to trap her and keep her with him and make sure not to let her go. Nightmare was walking along in Gotham there were a few things that she noticed that this Gotham wasn't the Gotham she knew. Everything was really different. Without noticing anything 2 thieves we're trying to jump her but she stopped them and had them arrested. She then afforded a hotel room just to get some sleep. While she was in the bathroom getting ready. She couldn't quite hear the window opening due to the shower running. Owlman was looking at nightmare naked in the shower his cock was starting to get hard he then palmed his harden cock he then decided to get undressed and went to the shower. He then covered up her eyes and mouth with his hands. Nightmare thought it was Batman so she turned off the water and went to the bed where she laid down. Owlman still had a hand covering her eyes. He then got a blindfold and blindfolded her eyes. He then started to go down on her and started eating her out. Nightmare thought this was just a dream but oh it was no dream. When she orgasmed all over his face. Owlman knew she was waiting up to slide in. So he lined his cock pushed right inside her. He started to study pace then when he felt her being tied around him he knew he had the speed up. He then went faster and faster. Until he had an idea he then slid out of her and turned her around lifting her ass up and begin to fuck her pussy but this time even faster he was fucking her so fast and hard that the bed started shaking. He was about to burst his load inside her when he had an even better idea. He then turned her around and put her legs where they reached to her ears he was planning on getting her pregnant and so he slid back in and went faster and harder this time by the time we couldn't hold it in anymore he came right inside her all the way into her womb. The next morning nightmare woke up and there she saw him owlman sleeping peacefully she recognized him now he was the villain that Batman told her not to go near or even meet so when she put on her outfit back on she teleported back to her earth. When owlman woke up he saw that the side of the bed nightmare was on was empty he was not happy that the love of his life from another Earth was gone along with the baby he put inside her.

Talon ok I say this with all my heart I'm going to say it anyway damn he's so fine like I feel so bad for him already he went through so much shit so I'm going to be a nice hoe and let him have a breeding Kink

The first time she slept with him. Was when talon was looking for child to be his successor. So when he found out about nightmare and what he heard about her. In about all the heroes and villains she had slept with, he made a plan get her to sleep with him and instead of finding a child to be his successor why not he may a successor. His DNA mixed with nightmare's DNA to make a very powerful talon. So one night while nightmare was in bed asleep naked cuz she felt like it'd be more comfortable. Talon snuck in through her window . When he saw that nightmare that's naked he thought she wanted him in bed with her so he got undressed and got in bed when it looked like she was about to wake up he had a blindfold covered her eyes with it when she went back to sleep he knew that it was the perfect time to strike. When he heard her call him Batman talon was very upset and very jealous he heard that she slept with Batman when he heard her call him Batman there was something in him deep downside that he wanted her to call him instead of Batman. So without hesitation he began to spread her legs and began to eat her pussy out. Talon was so focused on eating her pussy out that he didn't realize that nightmare lifted up with blindfold and saw that talon was in her apartment and was naked and he was in her bed and harassing her. Although she couldn't lie he was pretty good at oral so why not take advantage of this so she went back to pretending to be asleep she was trying really hard not to moan. When her climax came she squirted all over his face Talon's cock started getting hard. he then stroke his cock but he kept on being a bit quiet about it he didn't want nightmare to wake up and be angry. Without paying attention and without realizing it nightmare took off the blindfold and was looking at him. When you realize that she woke up and the blindfold was Off her his eyes widen that's when they both swap positions her on top of him and him laying on his back. She then kissed him and they were having a makeout session. When she angled his Cock were her pussy is she slowly sank down on to his cock it was a little bit painful but slowly became pleasurable. Nightmare then began to ride him. He then put his hand on one of her breasts and the other on her ass cheek and he put his mouth on the other breast and began to suck it nightmare was a moaning mess. They then swapped positions again this time talon had nightmare in a mating press and began to fuck her nice fast and hard until he finds me shoot his hot cum inside her womb the next morning nightmare woke up to finding talon sleep ing on the other side of her bed she then used her magical abilities to teleport him to wherever he lived on his own bed after she did that she then laid back down and had a really weird feeling something is not right. When talon woke up in his own bed he realized that nightmare used to powers on him to go to his home (well at least she is now carrying the new talon) he thought

(Gender swap Talia Al ghoul sorry I couldn't get a photo of her as a guy but imagine him looking a older Damian Wayne you know the one where Batman hallucinated of Damian being a dark Batman well imagine him looking more like Talia but like a guy also his name is Terrence)

The first time she slept with him. Was after they both met at a gala in Gotham nightmare (aka) Jacqulyn who was also Bruce Wayne's secretary she caught the eye of Terrence al ghul. ra's Al ghul wanted his son be happy and thought that Jacqulyn would be a great mother for his future grandson or granddaughter so when Jacqulyn gets kidnapped by the League of assassins. Bruce is already looking for her. Meanwhile at the league of assassin's layer nightmare woke up her head and woozy and she's in a sexy emerald green race lingerie?

When the door open nightmare was ready to attack anyone who kidnapped her but then she remembered she's not supposed to show the magical powers to anybody so she acted normal. That's when Terrence al ghul entered and nothing but boxer briefs with two champagne glasses and her favorite drink.(hello my beloved did you sleep well I hope so because tonight you and I are going to be spending our wedding night making love and making a few heirs) nightmare's eyes widen she did not know what he was talking about when he saw that look in her eyes he then explained to her that she signed a contract that states she is now married to him. She couldn't believe it she didn't even know how she got here. That's when she remembered someone slipped something in her drink and she was knocked out. When Terrence asked her if she was okay nightmare had an idea all she had to do was play along she said yes. And got a really good idea. She then kissed him and told him if he wants to make love to her then he'll have to catch her she then ran off and Terrence loved a good challenge so as he was chasing her She ran back to the love chamber their Terrence caught her he closed the door and pins her on to the mattress where he kisses her passionately she kisses him back and that's when she felt his cock harden she had no idea that he would be this big. So as Terrance begin to kiss nightmare on her neck and then ripping her lingerie off of her. He then begin to suck on her breast and then he went down to eat her pussy out she sure hopes that Batman will come and save her but she's too busy focusing on being pleasure. When Terrence moved his underwear he told her to suck his cock she obliged. And begin to suck his cock she deepthroated him. when she remove her mouth from his enormous cock she then begin to suck on his balls. He then grabbed her hair and told her to lie down and spread her legs she did as she was told. And Terrence went between her legs and started to thrust inside her. Hours of deferent sex positions mostly ones that involves breeding. When Terrence. Shoot his cum inside nightmare's womb he knew that he'll be a father in 9 months. He then lay down with nightmare still attached to him because he didn't want all his cum to go to waste the next morning nightmare woke up and saw that Terrence wasn't in the room then she got really sick from them she then rushed to the bathroom and threw up in the when Terrence went into the bedroom he saw the bathroom door open and that's when he saw nightmare throwing up. 9 months later nightmare gave birth to a baby boy they named him Damian. That night while everyone was asleep nightmare decided to write a letter and then take Damian with her she found out about Terrance and his father's plan I didn't like it one bit that's when Batman snuck in the bedroom nightmare knew she was saved when she grabbed her son they both escaped

Stanley Kyle okay so this is the male version of Selena Kyle

The first time she slept with him. Was when she was chasing him after he stole something at a bank when she caught up to him she ordered him to give whatever he stole back to the bank Stanley then grabbed nightmare and pinned her to the wall luckily they were both on the roof so no one never see them. When Stanley then kissed her she can help but kiss him back they then begin to remove their costumes. Stanley then wrapped nightmare's legs around his waste. He then lade her down on the ground and put his cock in her pussy. He thrust inside her really hard and fast. They fucked for until the sun came up. After they got done they were both lying on the ground sweating panting and their hair mess and they were cuddling. Stanley then begin to kiss nightmare she kissed him back what seems like they were about to have sex again but nightmare put handcuffs on Stanley. he wonder why she did that he must have thought that she wanted to be kinky but no she just arrested him and she told him that he's going to jail for his crime.(at least I got a good fucking from you 😉) he said to her.(🙄 Whatever you're still going to jail) she told him. While Stanley was in jail he and nightmare did not know that they forgot to use protection now nightmare has to deal with the little bundle of joy in 9 months later

#dcamu x my oc jacqulyn aka nightmare

[mishkatelwarriorgoddess]

I posted 935 times in 2022

That's 217 more posts than 2021!

12 posts created (1%)

923 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thefallenbibliophilequote

@dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

@hellolovelyscientist

@writingamongther0ses

@bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

I tagged 64 of my posts in 2022

#fluffy bucky - 3 posts

#soft bucky - 3 posts

#subject notes - 2 posts

#reblog reply - 2 posts

#soft dean - 2 posts

#supernatural - 2 posts

#mcu - 2 posts

#mental health - 2 posts

#abbot and costello vs fairies - 1 post

#who's on first - 1 post

Longest Tag: 67 characters

#i am not a gary gygax bimbo barbarian babe but i played one for d&d

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Peace and love

To all the teachers who either have or are about to go back into their classrooms, may this school year be peaceful for you all. May your students show you some love and respect. And may you have a great year!

5 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#4

Music of the Night

Pairing: JBB X F!Reader, other Avengers mentioned and s specific villain

A/N: Here is the version of the song that I am using as inspiration. I am a Phantom fan from when I was originally away from home at college in 1987 (yes, I know I'm old...don't care!). Came across this version tonight/today and this bubbled out. Enjoy!

Word Count: 735

You woke up and looked around to see that there was a fog around you. You heard rustling behind you and turned to look who was there. You saw someone with their face partly hidden with a mask.

Oh great, you thought. You're in another one of your dream. Just wake up. Just wake up.

But when you opened your eyes again, you were still there.

"Oh Christine, don't you see..."

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation.

Darkness stirs and wakes imagination.

Silently the senses abandon their defenses...

You reached for the man, even though you couldn't see who it was. You KNEW that you cared for him; maybe even loved him, if you could just see his face.

He continued to sing and mesmerize you. You stood and he slowly circled you as he continued to sing until he stood behind you.

Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor.

Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender.

Turn your face away from the garish light of day.

Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light.

And listen to the music of the night.

You felt his hand take yours, and something felt...familiar. Shivers ran up your spine as his hand ran up your side to your face, and then down to your throat. The grip he had on your throat was tight enough to keep you in place, but not enough to hurt. You heard something softly in your ear...was it gears??? Where had you heard that before? You couldn't think about anything except the hard muscles of the man's chest and his hold his voice and body had on you.

Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world

Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before

Let your soul take you where you long to be

Only then can you belong to me.

You were breathing ragged breaths as he held you and spun you around to face him. You breathed in and smelled it...bergamot, cinnamon, mint. Your eyes flew open!

"James...." you whispered.

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication

Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation

let the dream begin let your darker side give in

to the power of the music that I write

The power of the music of the night

See the full post

10 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

#3

Beautiful

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Word Count: 799

Warnings: angst, sadness, feelings of worthlessness hinted at

A/N: After I read @shurisneakers Reform, this song came to mind. Reform just reminds me that we all need that 1 person in our lives who will be there for us, when we need their help but don’t know how to ask for it, and won’t judge us for being who we are. Thank you for being who you are Ari; kind, wonderful, and beautiful.

Breathe in. Hold it, hold it, hold it. Let it go. You could almost hear your therapist’s voice telling you that everything would be okay. Yeah, things are NOT okay. Not by a long-shot.

You felt him behind you more than you heard or saw him. He had become somewhat of a fixture around you lately. Not that having the former Winter Soldier as your best friend was bad. In fact, it was pretty awesome. Although he would never admit it.

“What’s wrong Doll?” he whispered as he gently turned you around. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“The voices, they’re just -” you took in a short breath, “I’ve tried everything I can think of and they just won’t be quiet.” You played with the hem of the shirt you’d ‘borrowed’ from him a few weeks ago as you shrugged.

He gently put his hands, one warm and one cool, on either side of your face and started to tilt it to look at you. You wiggled out of his hands and just hung your head while you felt the white hot tears stream down your face.

“Why can’t I just be normal?” you whispered. You weren’t sure that he had heard you, until he crushed you to his chest.

“Why would you want that Doll?” you felt it more than heard it. His chest rumbled, even when he was being quiet. It seemed like even though his voice understood how to be quiet, the rest of him had trouble with it sometimes. You felt him kiss the top of your head.

You finally decided to sneak a look at him through your lashes. You could see the worry etched on his face, it was heartbreaking. It just made you feel even worse. Here was an Adonis of a man that was holding and comforting YOU, when he surely had better things to be doing on a crisp, clear, late Spring evening.

“Why do you even care, Bucky?” you sniffled.

He looked at you like you’d landed a punch to his gut. He took your hand and walked backward until he sat on the edge of your bed and you were standing between his legs. He placed his hands on either side of your hips, and you used his shoulders to help ground you.

“There’s this song that I know. It talks about how words don’t mean anything. I bet you might know it.” He has that wonderful smirk on his face, where only one side of his mouth is turned up and he’s acting kind of shy. It’s one of the things you love about him. He knows exactly how to get through to you, and he’s always happy to be there for you.

“I might. Do you know who sings it?” and he starts to hum the tune for you. You give him a slight laugh. “Yeah, I know it. Give me a sec. FRIDAY, play Beautiful by Christina Agulera.”

“Gladly miss.” And you begin to hear the piano playing. You start to hum along with the music.

Every day is so wonderful

Then suddenly it's hard to breathe

Now and then I get insecure

From all the pain

I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring me down

I am beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no

So don't you bring me down today....

You just feel strong arms around your waist and feel Bucky nuzzling into your hair. “Keep singing Doll. You got this.” he whispers. You squeeze his arms and continue singing.

See the full post

10 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#2

Open Up Your Loving Arms

Pairing: Dean X F!Reader

Word Count: 455

Summary: You need to hit a certain green-eyed hunter over the head to get him to notice you.

A/N: Okay, I'm semi-addicted to watching the Voice global on YouTube. The inspiration for this version came while I was watching and can be found here. I hope you enjoy!

Sam was helping you out with things, so you knew that they'd be here at the bar for listening to the band, who you just happened to be friends with because the lead singer was your sister; you just hoped that you wouldn't chicken out!

You saw them come in the door and head to the bar. Sam looked around and happened to see you standing in the wings and gave you a thumbs up. 'Okay, you can do this.' you whispered to yourself.

The bass started strumming along, and you came out on stage to whoops and hollers from the guys that were in the bar. "Thank you everyone. I'd like to dedicate this song to a special someone who just happened to show up tonight. De, this one's for you!" You pointed straight towards him, and he looked at you with his jaw dropped and eyes a little incredulous at how you looked.

"Dean, dude. Close your mouth. You're starting to drool." Sam joked with him.

"Hold my beer Sam." is all he said, as he made his way toward the stage.

I gotta know your name

And I get your private number baby....

You were looking straight at Dean as he wove his way through the crowd to the edge of the stage. He looked like he was a hunter all right, but he was looking at you like you were his prey. His eyes never left you the whole time you sang.

All I know is that to me

You look like you're lots of fun

Open up your loving arms

Watch out here I come

You stooped down to tap him on the nose as you continued to sing. He tried to reach for you, but you always made sure you were just out of reach each time....

Until you started singing

I'd like to move in just a little bit closer!

That was when Dean took things into his own hands. When you bent down that time he grabbed your wrist to bring you on to the floor with the crowd. He wrapped you in his arms as you turned your back to him so you'd be able to finish the song.

All I know is that to me

You look like you're lots of fun

Open up your loving arms

Watch out..

"You'll be coming tonight when we get back to the bunker." he whispered in your ear. You ALMOST lost your place in the song. But you were able to finish to the song to the thunderous applause of everyone around you.

"Well, I guess we have a lot to talk about, huh?" he said as he planted a kiss to my lips and spun me around!

Tags: @dailyreverie @navybrat817 @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

@msmarvelwrites @shurisneakers

13 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Pain and Comfort

Pairing: Bucky X F!Reader, other Avengers mentioned

Word Count: 1154

A/N and Summary: I just needed to have a certain super soldier give the reader a little comfort.

Sitting in YOUR window seat in the common room, you hold on to the hot tea in your hands a little tighter. It's 5 o-freakin'-clock in the morning, and it looked like you weren't going to get any more sleep today. It's that time between Christmas and your birthday, when no one seems to notice you or how you're doing right now.

Well, that wouldn't be totally accurate, if you thought about it - which you couldn't at the moment. At the moment, you were up battling another bout of pain that didn't want to go away. Some of it was physical, but it was mostly mental this time.

This pain wouldn't go away any time soon. Sighing, you finished your tea and went to go wash your mug in the sink. After you put it in the strainer to dry, you walked back down to your room to change into some warmer clothes so you could go outside and not freeze to death. You picked out some fleece lined leggings that Natasha had bought for you, a lightweight turtle-neck, and your favorite red Henley that you had borrowed from someone.

You grabbed your boots and socks and left to go finished getting ready in the living area. You put down your boots and pulled up the socks as you watched the snow drift down past the windows. Everything outside looked pristine and angelic, quite the opposite of how you were feeling at this time. You sighed and started to lace up your boots, when you heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

"Morning doll." Bucky yawned as he walked past you in just his sleep pants and nothing else. You didn't even say anything to him, and that caused him to stop what he was doing and come join you on the couch.

"Where you going all bundled up? Everything okay?" he asked, and you could hear the concern in his voice.

You continued to lace up your boots, and just shrugged your shoulders in response. You knew if you started talking right now, you wouldn't stop and the tears would probably fall along with the words. That wasn't what you wanted right now. Right now you just wanted to go outside and FEEL, even if it meant feeling cold.

"Hey, just give me a minute and I'll go with you. You don't gotta talk or anything, I just don't want you alone is all. Be right back, doll." He kissed the top of your head as he jogged back to his room to change. You took advantage of the fact that he'd be a couple of minutes and started walking up the stairwell to the rooftop.

Like you thought, it was cold outside, but not totally unbearable. Plus, as you walked over to the outside kitchen area....YES! It was still there, you were able to find the bottle of liquid courage that you had hidden last time you were up here alone. You knew that you'd be back at some point and time, and if it was found by any of the others you'd just replace it.

You heard the door open and close and then Bucky calling softly for you. "Y/N? Are you up here? Oh there you are doll." He rounded the corner and found you with your back to him, which allowed you to swallow the amber liquid before turning around to face him.

"Hey, what's going on in that pretty head of yours, huh? Why so quiet? That's not like you, doll. You need to talk?"

"No, I need to drink right now is what I need to do." You stated as you took another swig from the bottle. As you brought it down, he took it out of your hands and screwed the cap back on.

"Do you think that's such a good idea? Come on doll, talk to me. Please?" He gave you the biggest blue puppy dog eyes that you had ever seen.

"Damn you Barnes, you should NOT be able to look so adorable with how lethal you are, ya know?" The laugh that escaped your lips, however, did not sound like you were amused. It sounded to your super solder bestie that you were holding in something, but he didn't know what.

"What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours Y/N?" he prodded. "You holdin' back on me?" He carefully reached out a hand to you and waited for you to take it.

You looked at his hand, all black and gold, power and gentleness. Looking up at his face, with his chiseled jaw and hair that's grown out some; you breathed in and reached for him, this lifeline that you were being given.

As he slowly pulled you to his chest, he just held you. He didn't press you for talking about whatever was bothering you. He figured that if you wanted to talk you would.

He kissed the top of your head and rocked on his feet. He started humming, and it reverberated through his chest.

"What 'cha singin' there soldier?" you asked as you looked up at him through damp eyelashes.

"Just somethin' my ma used to sing to my sister and me whenever we were down. Don't remember what it's called anymore, but it was always something I'd hum when I was in HYDRA too."

You couldn't believe he was opening up to you about something from the time that he was controlled by HYDRA. You just lay your head back on his chest and allowed his warmth to help calm you down.

"Thanks Buck. Can we go back in now? I'm starting to get a little cold now." you asked as you started to move.

"Sure doll." as he picked you up and carried you inside. He expected you to complain, but was pleasantly surprised when you didn't. He put you down on the couch as carefully as he could, but you still winced.

"How long you been in pain? Snow's not supposed to let up for at least a day."

"Well then, I guess I'll have to keep my favorite super soldier close by to be my personal heating pad until this storm rolls through." you sassed but couldn't bring yourself to look at him in case he didn't want to.

"Sounds like a plan." as you feel him easing you back into his chest while he gets comfortable on the couch, covering the two of you with a blanket. You just burrow down and sigh while you start to drift back to sleep.

See the full post

101 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[hypeboymp3]

No one wants to wake up to the news I woke up to this morning. No one. I was preparing my coffee, turning on wi-fi and the first thing I read is: “BlockBerry Creative kicks Chuu out of LOONA”. I blinked my eyes countless times and I went on Facebook just to see more and more posts about it. I couldn’t believe it. My LOONA dream was over and there I was at 8AM sitting in my kitchen looking at the screen of my iPhone.

I know this may sound a bit too much but… Yes. Tears started falling from my eyes and they wouldn’t stop. I don’t consider this to be an over dramatic reaction like many of you could easily consider. I look at it as unconditional love, dedication and passion. Something unexplainable, no one can translate love into words or even admiration. Some people get your attention and you don’t know why. And while I am fully aware that LOONA are probably not over, they’re just down to eleven, I also am aware that it’s never going to be the same. It doesn’t matter if it is Kim Lip or Vivi or Yves or Heejin or Jinsoul. It doesn’t. I saw this girlgroup being born when they were just twelve predebut girls. A few years later they turned into strong and confident women and extremely inspirational. They brought the term “lore” back in the music industry and scored several of the biggest flops of this new decade. I was obsessed and extremely proud of it.

I’ve always been aware that girlgroups are not meant to last and that’s why I flew to New York just to see them live this year. I knew this was a fast career and that’s why I spent over 800€ on this girlgroup (I’ve watched their stages, I saw them graduate from nugupromoter, I bought their music, I took a trip just to see them, paid hotel… You make the counts!). I wanted to live it as much as I could and looking back I am so proud of every single thing I did for them. They brought back my fan vein in a way I’ve never experienced before. Girls Generation, IU… They’re both established artists and it’s another story on how their careers are handled.

Every orbit was aware that Chuu was not happy. Ever since “Chuu Can Do It” became a smash, something went wrong and the relationship between Chuu and the company has always been weird. There’s indifference and I don’t know what to think. Nonetheless, I am no one to judge that. All I want to make clear is: LOONA are never going to be LOONA again and that’s why I feel like my dream has been crashed. My LOONA dream has ended. It hurts so bad when you’re not prepared… After all they lost Queendom 2 to WJSN just this year.

And no. I am not turning my back on Chuu. This was a rough decision but I know what it's like to be in a place where you don't belong or feel included and sometimes... It's better to just go for it.

Yet, I always like to see things from the bright side and I am going to always support LOONA as a group just like any of the twelve girls as individual acts. They’ve had an amazing and beautiful impact in my life.

LOON/A… Good luck. Chuu… Good Luck.

LOONA… Thank You. You’ve given me the ultimate fan experience and you’ve been so inspirational. All of you.

“김밥처럼 넌 만두처럼 달콤해” LOONA, “김밥처럼 넌 만두처럼 달콤해”

#shoutout to that harmonizer who made the original

[bamboozled-and-alone]

Damian: Drake, do you know what a Neanderthal is?

Tim: Yeah, I've been called one before.

Bruce: By who?

Tim: ...

Bruce: Damian?

Damian: Yes, it was me father.

#dc #batfam #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #robin #batman #bruce wayne #tim drake #damian wayne #red robin #i had a dream about it and just woke up and posted don't judge

[lovinhub]

FAR FROM HOME PT.2

Rafe Cameron x reader

Plot: Moving away from home had been a dream of yours. Finding yourself in Kildare, meant you were always bound to meet the infamous Rafe Cameron. What happens when finally he returns home?

Warnings: Smut (male receiving), mentions of drugs, language

fuck I’m nervous to post this !!

———————————————

Walking back home, Rafe’s mind was filled with thoughts about y/n. Who was this girl? How has she made such a difference to his life after only meeting 6 hours ago? He thought back to a week ago, living in the family home on paradise island, packing up all his belongings to come home. He hadn’t told a soul, but he was terrified to return. What would happen if he relapsed? He was determined to stay sober, but he needed a hobby or distraction. The plan would be to immerse himself in his work, and spend his free time playing golf or working out. It seemed like a solid plan, but he knew that as soon as things turned sour he would crave the one thing that helped him escape his reality.

It was a shock to the system to meet y/n. Sure, Sarah had told him stories which she often dropped your name, but he didn’t pay too much attention. He’d even forgotten you lived on the island until Sarah introduced you both at the party. But once he saw her for the first time, he felt like his breath had been stolen. As soon as she spoke her first words to him, he knew he wasn’t going to let her just walk away.

The offer of playing beer pong shocked even himself. Any other time he saw a girl that caught his eye, he was just leave the game and eventually take her upstairs. However, he felt like he wanted to know y/n. Wanted to know her likes and dislikes, what makes her smile, laugh and cry. He wanted to know what her journey was to land herself in Kildare.

When he heard she was going to walk all the way home, he didn’t even hesitate to offer to walk with her. Usually, he’d let them find their own way home, but he would do nothing but worry whether she was safe or not.

He’d opened up to y/n like he’d never done so before. It shocked even himself for what he was saying. The words just flowed so easily out of his mouth, he had the strongest feeling that he could trust y/n. She didn’t judge him, or even scrunch her face at the particularly bad moments of his stories. Instead, she just nodded and listened. She could tell he needed to talk about his feelings, but it was upsetting when he would apologize for over sharing like he’d been shunned to speak about his feelings before. Multiple times, she gave a reassuring ‘please don’t apologize, you can tell me anything’ as she carefully patted his arm.

Once he’d arrived home, he made sure to send you a text. He was dying to see you again, away from everyone like how you both were walking home. He was ecstatic when you happily accepted his offer to join you in the morning.

————————————————

You woke up the next morning, being careful not to wake JJ up whilst you sorted yourself out around the flat. You’d wondered if Rafe had woke up in time, not wanting to be pushy you decided against texting him. The last thing you wanted to do is wake him up. You put on your favorite light blue bikini, and put your hair in a messy French plait to keep it out of your face. As you tied the end of your hair, you saw your phone screen light up in the corner of your eye.

[Rafe] good morning! v excited about this mornings swim, I’ll pick you up. See you in 15?

You smiled as you read the text. You weren’t sure what it was about Rafe, but you felt yourself gravitating towards him. You felt the shift on the island from the morning he landed. The air felt different, like all the negativity had disappeared and he finally allowed you to breathe.

[you] I’m surprised ur actually awake in time with the amount u drank last night!! Ok sweet I’ll see u soon x

[Rafe] ha ha very funny.. couldn’t let the island think I’d gone soft with my drinking now could I x

The sentence worried you. Although you hadn’t been around Rafe when he previously lived here, you knew you didn’t want him to revert back to his old habits. You felt like you had a bond with him now, as crazy as it sounds. You wanted to secretly make it your mission to keep him away from doing something stupid. That’s what friends do, right?

[you] txt me when ur outside :))) x

You put a matching pair of pink trackies and a jumper on, as well as sliders. Although it was September and still warm, it’s partially cold at 6am. You made sure you had packed water, a towel, sun lotion and sunglasses in case you were out on the beach longer than planned.

[Rafe] outside x

You grabbed your keys and locked the door behind you. Once you got to his truck, you pulled the door open and got in. You took note of what he was wearing, dark shorts that you assumed were his trunks, and a black jumper. He had a baseball hat on as well, which he looked particularly good wearing.

“What is the idea behind swimming at 6am then?” He asked. He wasn’t complaining, it’s just not something he’d known anyone do to on a Saturday morning after a night of partying.

“It’s just so.. refreshing. I’d never do it back home, the water is way too disgusting” you replied, pulling a face to add to your disgust.

“Also, I moved to an island to spend as much time in the water as I can” you added. He nodded as to say he understands.

“So you aren’t hungover this morning then?” He asked, with a slight laugh.

“No way, that walk sobered me right up. What about you? Feeling the effects this morning?” You chuckled.

“Nothing a morning swim can’t solve” he said, turning to you to smile.

You two made small talk as he drove to the beach, pointing out key places on the island that he thought you should try.

Once you’d arrived, you both quickly took off your clothes leaving you in just your swimming gear.

“Race you to the water?” You said, already starting to run.

He quickly began to run, making you scream and run just a little faster. You both hit the water at the same time, which by the way was absolutely freezing.

“Holy shit y/n” Rafe said, once he’d fully submerged himself in the ocean.

“It’s refreshing, huh” you said with a small laugh

“It’s fucking cold is what it is” he replied, splashing water your way.

“Fuck off, we’re here to swim not act like 5 year olds” you replied, splashing him back.

After being in the water for around half an hour (but only actually swimming for around 10 minutes, the rest of the time you spent annoying one another), you both exited the water and dried off. You spent another hour just sitting on the beach, listening to the waves crash and people watching. Every so often, either you or Rafe would make a comment like ‘he’s definitely too old for her’ or ‘what do you reckon, is that her dad or husband?’. It’s was relaxing to just sit there and be yourself around Rafe, like no one else in the world understood you both.

“Fancy going for breakfast? We can go to the Island Club?” He asked, pulling the jumper over his head.

“Yeah definitely I’m starving, but no to the club. I don’t fancy going into work on my day off” you replied, picking up the last of your belongings.

“You work at the club? How have you not mentioned that yet!” He said, shocking himself that he hadn’t already asked such a basic question on where you work.

You laughed, replying with “It’s not that interesting, I only waitress there”

“Well it’s a good job I like to have lunch there, I’ll be seeing more of you than I thought” he said, smiling down at her

“We can go back to mine? I’ve got some food in, I’ll make you a proper English breakfast” you responded

“Yeah that sounds great, you can take my English breakfast virginity” he laughed

“I’ll be sure to be gentle with you” you said, winking at him.

Once you got to the truck, he offered to let you connect your phone.

“You know who Ed Sheeran Is don’t you?” You asked.

“Kinda, he has a few good songs” Rafe answered.

“Ok, I’ll play you one of his best songs. I’ll warn you, I know all the words and i am definitely rapping every single one” you said, finding it on your playlist.

You played ‘You need me , I don’t need you’ which had always been one of your favorites. You laughed as you got in the rhythm, rapping every word not missing a beat.

“That was.. something else” he said once the song had ended.

“He’s a babe, I love all his songs” you said, flicking through your playlist to find a background song to play.

Once you had arrived back to your place, you’d hoped JJ would be up by now. You didn’t want to worry about being quiet.

You opened the door to find JJ laying on the living room floor.

“What the fuck are you doing you creep” you said, lightly kicking his legs.

He replied with a groan, following with a small ‘head hurts’. He finally sat up and made his way to the sofa.

“Oh hey Rafe, welcome back bro” he said once he’d clocked Rafe standing behind you.

“Hey man, you look like you had fun last night” he chucked, resulting in JJ smiling and sticking his finger up.

JJ saw you get out the ingredients for breakfast, suddenly perking up.

“Oh please tell me you’re cooking a full English” he asked, silently praying you’d make him one too. After living with you for a while, he’d grown custom to your breakfast. No matter how many times you told him how to make it, he’d always insist you could do it better.

“I’ll make you one too don’t worry” you said rolling your eyes.

You all talked in the kitchen whilst you cooked the breakfast. You got Rafe to lay the table and take a seat with JJ. Once it had been plated up, you placed it infront of them both, their eyes widening and mouths watering.

You all ate together, and cleared the mess up.

“Wait, are you two like banging or something” JJ asked, finally questioning why Rafe was in fact in your flat at 9am.

“What? No JJ, unlike you, I can hold a friendship with the opposite gender” you retorted.

“Dude, you’re my best friend, so is Kie and Sarah. I’ve never banged any of you” he replied with sass.

“Yeah, but you’ve tried with Kie , Sarah’s with John B and I wouldn’t go near you with a ten foot pole mate” you replied, matching his sassy tone. You all laughed, knowing that you and JJ would never offend each other on purpose.

You all chilled on the balcony for a while, making small talk. Rafes phone suddenly rang, so he excused himself and walked inside to answer.

He came back looking annoyed. “My dad needs me to go into work” he said, notifying you he has to leave.

“Oh shit. Ok, well text me later?” You replied, getting up to see him out the door.

“Will do, thanks for this morning, I definitely needed a moment away from everyone. I honestly enjoyed the fuck out of it, even if it was freezing cold” he replied, leaning in for a hug. This one was longer, and you squeezed him as if to say ‘you’ll be okay’.

The weekend flew by, spending most of it either texting Rafe, or searching small adventures you can do with your days off.

As Monday came around, you sadly made your way into work. It wasn’t particularly busy, however the last hour of your shift suddenly improved when you seated Rafe, Kelce and Topper for a late lunch.

“Hey boys, how you all doing?” You asked, standing in between a seated Rafe and Topper.

They all replied in unison, saying “yeah good”

“How’s your shift?” Rafe asked, catching your eyes.

“Boring, I’ll be done in an hour then I’ll be off home” you replied, looking over to the clock to make sure time was still moving.

“You walking?” He asked, raising an eyebrow

“Yeah, I’ve got my music I’ll be home in no time” you replied, already knowing what he was going to offer.

“It’s ok, I’ll drop you home. I’ll have just a portion of fries and a lemonade” He said, handing the menu back to you, not giving you a chance to reject his offer.

Once you’d served the boys, you carried on caring for your other tables. The customers were lovely, always making small talk and asking you about yourself. You were sure it was just so they could hear your accent, but if it raised your tips you could talk all day long.

Your shift ended, and you packed your things from the locker. Walking outside, you saw Rafe leaving on the outside of his truck with his head hung low, paying attention to his phone. He felt your presence as you walked closer, causing him to raise his head and smile.

It was a short drive home, which mainly consisted of you telling him a story from earlier in the day, making you both laugh hard. Everything felt so effortless with him, and you felt so incredibly comfortable around him, like you’d known each other your whole lives.

This act carried on for a few weeks, him insisting on picking you up after every shift, no matter the time. In between, you hung out countless of times, going out to dinner and spending your days on the beach. On one of the days, you spent the day on the mainland, just aimlessly walking around for hours, stopping for drinks and ice cream. You both also hung out the with group. From afar, JJ could see you liked him. The way your stories would always start with ‘oh and when Rafe…’ was a clear sign he took over your mind.

One Thursday evening, you’d finished at 7pm. You made your way outside, expecting to see Rafe and his truck. However, when you arrived, he was no where to be seen. You called him a few times, but had no luck with an answer. It wasn’t like him to just leave you, which made you even more worried.

You called JJ, Sarah and Topper, hoping one of them would know his whereabouts, but none of them had heard from him. You didn’t care you had to walk home, you were worried for him. He’d always answer your phone calls, so the fact that you couldn’t get ahold of him terrified you.

You made your way home, sending him countless of texts and continuously ringing his mobile.

[you] hey Rafe, u ok? Xx

[you] call me when you see this xx

[you] just lmk if ur still at work! u little hard worker x

[you] just fyi, I’m walking home I’ll txt u when I’m in xx

[you] I’m home, call me back pls I’m worried xx

[you] I’m here if u need to talk, always xx

[you] just a simple thumbs up would work for me!! Xx

You made yourself some dinner and a tea, but couldn’t stomach the thought of finishing it until you’d at least heard from him.

The night went by so slow, consisting on you calling Rafe, and checking your phone every 2 minutes.

It was around 12:30am when you thought you heard a knock on your front door. JJ was still watching tv, so quickly got up to answer.

He opened the door to find Rafe, in desperate need to see you.

“Hey, is she home?” He asked, walking past JJ as he closed the door behind him.

“Yeah she’s in her room. Are you okay man?” He asked, clearly seeing something was bothering Rafe.

“Yeah, Um I’m just gonna..” he said, pointing towards your room.

“Yeah go for it bro” JJ replied, making his way back to the sofa.

Rafe slowly opened your door, not wanted to wake you if you were sleeping. Much to his surprise, he walked in to see you sat up, with a drink in your hand. When you saw his face, you quickly put the hot drink on the side, jumping up and giving him the biggest hug you’d ever given. Mostly out of relief, but a part of you wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to go anywhere. Once you pulled away, you looked at his face properly. You could see he had a slightly red face, and bloodshot eyes.

“Are you okay?” You asked stroking his face

“Can I just lay with you for a bit?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper. You nodded, telling him he can stay over. You helped him strip down to just his boxers. Under any other circumstance, you’d feel this act to be particularly sexual (not that you would mind), however in this moment, you just wanted him to be comfortable.

You pulled his arm and got into bed, sitting up so he could lay his head on your lap. You ran your fingers through his hair, playing with it to keep him calm.

“I’m sorry I didn’t pick you up. I’m so sorry” he said, sniffing afterwards.

“Please don’t apologize, I just want to make sure you’re okay darling” you replied. You wanted to ask him what had happened, but before you got the chance he spoke up.

“I went to my dealers house” he said. His confession cause you to momentarily stop your hands, shocked at what he’d just said.

“Ok, what happened?” You asked softly

“I had one of the worst days I’ve ever had. I broke my phone because I threw it at the wall. I left work so fast, I just had to get away from Ward. All I wanted was to see you, but I didn’t want to burden you. Before I knew it, I was at Barry’s place. It all happened so fast, like the act of handing him cash was a muscle memory for me. He gave me coke in return” he paused, waiting to hear your reaction.

“and?..” you replied, letting him know it’s okay to carry on

“and I drove to the parking lot at the beach. I just sat there in my fucking truck, holding the bag. I held it for fucking hours. I can’t tell you how much I wanted to do it, just take the whole lot and pass out.”

“why didn’t you?” You asked

“I thought, I have someone so much better that I can see. It’s fucking stupid going back to my old habits when instead I have you to help me. I poured it all into the bin and drove straight over here.”

“I’m proud of you Rafe, I’m so fucking proud of you.” You boasted, leaning down to kiss his forehead. The action took Rafe by surprise, but he gladly accepted it. He sat up next to you, looking into your eyes.

“Always come to me, no matter what need you hear me? You will never be a burden to me. Promise me Rafe” You said, holding out your pinky for him to take. He wrapped his own around your finger, promising to always come to you.

You both sat there, just staring at each other. Your eyes darted down to his lips, looking as if they’re begging you to attach your own. He noticed this action, and raised his hand to stroke your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss.

As soon as your lips touched, you felt like everything was right in the world. Your lips moved together in the perfect rhythm, tongues dancing with one another. It was the most passionate kiss you had ever experienced, feeling fireworks explode around you.

He pulled you onto his lap, sinking yourself down to where you could already feel him hardening. You kissed him deeper whilst he held your hips, grinding you against him. It caused a slight gasp escape your lips, resulting in him smirking.

“Let me show you how proud I am of you” you whispered, pulling away. He raised his eyebrows, thanking every god to exist for allowing him to refrain from getting high. This feeling right now felt better than any drug could give him.

You moved down his body, kissing down his neck all the way to the top of his boxers. You looked up at him, which rewarded you with a low groan to move past his lips. You tucked your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, and pulled them off. You felt slightly lightheaded seeing his cock. It was bigger, and thicker than you thought. Your mouth watered at the sight of his laying naked In front of you, and you wondered why it took you so long to make a move.

You placed your hand around the base of his cock, and started giving the head small, slow licks in a teasing manner.

“Fuck baby, you’re supposed to be rewarding me not teasing me” he groaned, not taking his eyes off of you. He wrapped his hands in your hair, pulling the lose strands away from your face to see you better.

You looked directly into his eyes as you lowered your mouth around his cock, taking him as deep as you can. He rolled his eyes and threw his head back, giving you the confidence to carry on.

You bobbed your head up and down, running your tongue on the underside of his cock directly on a pulsing vein at the same time. The act caused him to frequently moan, groan and praise you at how good it felt.

You slowly managed to take him all in, causing Rafe to grip onto your hair tighter than before. You kept your eyes locked onto his face, meaning when he finally pulled his head forward, you made direct eye contact. Watching him pant and groan from your actions was hands down one of the hottest things you’d ever seen.

“baby I’m so close” he commented, causing you to go faster and suck harder.

He let out a godly moan as you felt him twitch, allowing him to coat the insides of mouth. He pulled you off of him, watching you swallow any remains of him in your mouth.

You smirked as you crawled back up to your former spot next to him, laying down as he pulled you into his chest.

“you’re fucking amazing” he said, pulling you in for a kiss. He didn’t care where your mouth had just been, all he wanted to do was kiss you.

“Like I said, I’m so proud of you”

You both laid there in silence, comfortably drifting off to sleep. It felt so natural laying in his arm as he occasionally kissed the back of your head. It was one of the best nights sleep you’d ever gotten.

You couldn’t believe what had just happened, but hoped to god it would happen again.

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