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exciting · 3 years

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As requested, books / series I read in 2020 in the order I read them, with a few brief thoughts. (This took me a hot second because there are a few and also I moved cities) Should I keep a consistent goodreads? Yes I should but I didn’t think of that at the time, so bone apple teeth & sorry if I offend you abt your faves x

P.S. I can’t figure out how to do a read more on mobile so long post ahead!

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas - This is one of the most vivid published fantasy books I have ever read... I read it twice in rapid succession. The fandom POPS off. I must say I have issues with certain aspects e.g. fae lore completely ignored à la Twilight, all love interests 500+ years old and technically a different species, etc (I’m not going to deconstruct the entire series here but just know that I could... Nesta deserves better)

Cruel Prince by Holly Black - This fucking slaps, HB clearly has done her research, the lore is near immaculate, and it explores the Fae in such a unique way, tying it to the modern world subtly and seamlessly. My only qualm was that the books felt quite short; truly wish there had been more content.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas (6/7) - So basically I read this in one single, hyperfixated fit which meant I literally locked myself in my room for three days straight and read all six books back to back in a row from morning to the wee hours. Which is not to say it was spectacular; although it was a VERY rich world, sometimes it was too much... this felt like 6 stories in one. Ik she was young when she wrote this but it is my humble opinion that SJM needs a better editor & I personally think Rowan is a grade A asshole / straight up abusive (& personally think the ACOTAR Tamlin plot was born from that?). It’s good but not as good as ACOTAR. Skip-read the last book.

Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone) by Leigh Bardugo (3) - This is essential to read before SOC but was very much simply a YA fantasy book, although the world was cool and the way the love plot played out was, imo, a subtle middle finger to the fantasy trope. Felt very much aimed at younger readers though? Really liked the sandwhich structure of the Proluge and Epilogue, especially in #2

Six of Crows series by Leigh Bardugo (2) - INCREDIBLE continuation of Grishaverse, better than the original series by a mile. It has the range, the diversity, the representation (the male lead is a disabled asexual and still the most cunning of the entire cast of characters), the plot is phenomenal, and it manages such a well rounded plot in only two books which means nothing is stretched out or squeezed in more than need be. Deserves all the praise it gets.

King of Scars series by Leigh Bardugo (0.5/1) - Personally I don’t consider this book canon, and while it’s nice to see the rest of Nina’s journey & the world again & everyone else, I don't like it. I will, however, be reading book 2 when it comes out, so shame on me, I suppose.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (1/1) - this was incredibly cool although it went off in a completely different direction than I thought it would based off the first few chapters? One of my favourite YA-author-debuts-New-Adult novels in 2020 though!

Crescent City by Sarah J Maas (1/1) - This was supposed to be SJM/s New Adult debut, although personally I would put her other series in New Adult, and I can’t say a remarkable amount was different with this except they said “fuck” and “ass” a lot. WHY is the romantic interest 500 years old AGAIN. I just... don’t... I just don’t think it was necessary... the world was cool though, and the last half of the book was riveting, but the beginning was quite slow and I thought the sword thing was predictable. I am interested to see where this goes though.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab (3) - This world is so fucking cool... four Londons aka parallel universes & the one in ‘our’ world is set in industrial era London. Magic, girls dressing up as boys, thieves, pirates, royalty... it all just slaps. Schwab is an incredible writer & I was completely immersed.

Midnight Sun by SMeyer - I didn’t think anything could possibly detract even further from the Twilight story but I was sorely mistaken... seeing the stalking from Edward’s POV - and it was worse than depicted in Twilight, for the record - completely obliterated any sort of romance the first half of the original book may have portrayed. I still hold the opinion that the entire series would have been better if some kind of vampire lore had been abided by, if only to see all of the villains thwarted by someone dropping a bag of rice on the ground, forcing them to have to count them all.

An ember in the Ash by Sabaa Tahir (3/4) - This was just a very stereotypical ya fantasy series, emphasis on the YOUNG... it wasn’t anything to write home about but I remember quite enjoying it at the time.

The Power by Naomi Alderman - This book is FUCKING incredible and EXCEPTIONALLY thought provoking... essentially women alone develop a power of electric shock etc. and then take over the world from men, and it explores feminism and the balance between equality & tipping the scales in the other direction. Written by a friend of M.Atwood in a similar tone to handmaids tale, I would say? Content warning; there are some exceptionally graphic scenes in the latter half of the novel.

Hamlet by Wllm Shksp - I can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it but Ophelia is my favourite name in the entire world & we love to see a woman go batshit (although she didn’t deserve that).

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas - this was unsettling in the best sense of the word... it was a little slow & honestly more of a concept than a big reveal, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after I finished it? A Secret History vibes but make it blurry like the memory of all those dystopian novels you read when you were young?

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.E. Schwab - This is without a doubt my book of the year, and probably the best book I read in 2020? I stayed up all night on a friend’s couch reading it, got a book hangover and reread the ending, and then thrust it upon my mother who doesn’t usually read but read this, and loved it just as much. HIGHLY recommend and you HAVE to read it, it’s beautiful and endearing and just plain wonderful.

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat (3/3) - I went into this knowing it was going to be terrible, because I had received a blow by blow telling me as much; although I must say that it did learn a remarkable amount of new words, the books did get better as the series went on, and it did have a rather charming ending? BIG content warning for almost everything.

Sapiens by Yuval Harari - mind-expanding & must recommend for everyone, there is everything in this and I daresay everyone should posses this kind of knowledge? I listened to it as an audiobook (which I recommend because it’s rather hearty) but will be buying this in hardcopy & rereading it with annotations.

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful novels I have ever read, and certainly the most beautiful portrayal of the story of Achilles and the battle of Troy I have ever seen. Patroclus deserved the justice that was given to him in this book; indeed, all of the characters were written with justice and grace. Highly recommend.

Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan (3/5) - Apollo is my favourite Greek God, and the sexiest greek god, and Rick Riordan’s writing slaps, as always. It did pain me to see Apollo, the sexy immortal, have to be forced back into a 16 year old’s body but everything else? Whimsical & wonderful, as expected.

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong - a retelling of Romeo and Juliette, except it’s set in Shanghai in the 1920′s, and the protagonists already have a history. Very well done, characters are incredibly diverse in race, sexual orientation, gender, and ability / disability (and honestly, representation has never appeared so effortless and elegant). Also it includes a monster and possible magic. Incredibly underrated and highly recommend.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix. E Harrow - this was such a unique concept, and truly captivating, the story was charming, and felt like the kind of beautiful fairytale you would read as children but with more grit? ABSOLUTELY recommend this one

The Pisces by Melissa Broder - I hated this so much, not my vibe at all. Mermaid smut x therapy but make it cynical and judgemental (I know there was a moral in there but that’s not my point) also the dog dies.

Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith (1/2) - really interesting & unique concept (all unwritten novels / ideas reside in a special library that is part of Hell and then sometimes the books can come to life) however, my first thought upon reading this was “this reads as if it’s stemmed from one of those writing prompt tumblr posts” bc of the tone and whatever and as it turns out I was somewhat correct, it did stem from a short story (not bad just obvious). It did kind of settle down as it went on but I found reading it kind of a drag, and I don’t think I will read the second one.

Abandon by Meg Cabot - 1. Meg Cabot’s writing always fucking slaps 2. Hades and Persephone but make it modern & very 2000′s & somehow kind of unique 3. I literally loved this, sue me

Medusa Girls (Sweet Venom) by Tera Childs - Like Percy Jackson except they are descendants of Medusa so they are Gorgons and have fangs & venom (hence the title). Gave me very 2000′s vibes? Quite cool but tbh I found the books quite short (like two hours each, if that)? Do NOT read the GoodReads description of the book before you read it, you will spoil it for yourself.

Bring me their Hearts by Sara Wolf - In my opinion, this is one of the most underrated YA series I read in 2020. The heroine is endearing, self aware, witty, and loves to look pretty even while kicking ass which in my opinion is an incredibly underrated trait. Also, immortality without being hundreds of years old? VERY sexy. HIGHLY recommend.

A Deal with the Elf King by Elise Kova - High commendation to be given for the fact that it is a standalone and yet manages to fit in the plot of what would usually be a full fantasy trilogy without cutting corners or being a million miles long? Also sweet storyline & beautiful ending? If you liked ACOTAR you should read this as a “what would have / could have been had SJM had a different editor” (No shade I promise).

The Iron Fae by Julie Kagawa (4/4 + novellas) - Incredibly detailed faerie set around the modern world & our current use of technology & iron in it. Very neat adventure-style series, by the time I read the last novella I was well and truly done with the world (aka provided enough content to be fulfilling). Was definitely aimed at a younger audience though, NO smut / smut was brushed over.

The Modern Faerie Tales by Holly Black (3/3 SS) - This is technically the prequel to Cruel prince, set in the modern world, but with the fae world inside it as it traditional? All I have to say is that it is excellent & I highly recommend it.

Bridgerton series (The Duke and I) by Julia Quinn (9/9) - I read this after watching the Netflix show twice through and I am obsessed, although the books were not quite as elegant as the show, and some parts that made me cringe either by their portrayal (it is very firmly set in the 19th century and thus some things are not handled with tact or grace), the characters were exceptionally loveable and I am so excited to see where the show takes them! Lovely language & an abundance of words I had never seen before (always a plus).

#the number of these which I hate with a passion now #fuck my life #HATE SJM #MAD about grishaverse #ASHAMED of bridgerton and the feminism leeched from my soul after reading this

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johannesviii · 4 years

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So I guess I’m hyperfixating on Death Stranding at the moment

And since I’ve finally finished the story after playing it for like 100 hours over the course of seven months or so I guess I have Opinions(tm) about things I didn’t like in the game

They’re eating at my brain so I’m gonna put them all in a single post to get them out of my system once and for all so I can enjoy the rest in peace

Spoilers, obviously

Hi welcome back to ‘Johannes is obsessing over yet another video game with horror elements in it’! I guess!!

Our latest entry in that category was Until Dawn but since UD can be played in like 6/7 hours and I spent 100 hours of my life on DS, as you can guess we’re talking about a full-blown hyperfixation, the kind that physically hurts because I can’t focus on anything else even after having finished the storyline

But it was super gradual. Again, seven months. I barely made any progress from December to May because I was only doing side-deliveries at the beginning of Chapter 3 instead of... you know... advancing the plot. It became an honest-to-god special interest about two months ago, then 6 days ago while playing chapter 10 it reached hyperfixation levels and now I am in PAIN

I hate my brain

Anyhow

At first I wanted to list the good and the bad hings in it but there’s too many good things to list them all in full, excruciatingly long details, so

Very Quick And Very Incomplete List Of Good Things That I Love

It’s a post-apo game based on travel, logistics, and good will, and it straight up goes AGAINST the whole ‘survival of the fittest’ trope that SO MANY post-apo things try to push!! YES

I insist but it’s built on helping each other and keeping everyone alive, seriously that is my shit right there!

The online community is wholesome?? People leave stuff everywhere, you never see anyone but people put little helpful signs and send you likes, and in my game we almost managed to repair all the roads together

There’s so many new & strange allergies and disabilities and phobias in this post-apo world and? nobody is trying to ““fix”“ anyone?? Like Heartman with his padded floor and his little box that brings him back to life constantly. He’s just... living like that. Nobody’s going “hey maybe you should get another heart operation buddy”

The hero and his phobia of being touched. I. Loved. That. The quiet scenes when he was just talking with Fragile, sitting next to her. In any other context this would just be two people sitting next to each other and talking but it always feels so soft and intimate everytime he allows another human being to just. be next to him. I love it. I love them

Everyone crying constantly because of chiral allergy!!

I loved all the important characters bar one (Bridget/Amelie)!

Why is this walking simulator so enjoyable why am I enjoying the fact that holding L2 + R2 while walking feels like holding your backpack and that you have to relax at times just like you’d have to if you were actually holding a backpack

Seriously. Why

The atmosphere was so great, the music was fantastic and the visuals were on point. A E S T H E T I C

The ghosts!! The giant Beached Things!!! Chiral crystals look! like! creepy hands reaching for the SKY!!

THE RAIN DESTROYS THINGS AND KILLS PEOPLE BY ACCELERATING TIME THIS IS SO COOL SHUT UP

Everytime the game got surreal it was electrifying

THE SURREAL WAR SCENES ON CLIFF’S BEACH

Everyone is using emojis

There’s guys addicted to delivering packages in that game and they’re trying to steal our stuff and we’re like “haha they’re dumb” but we’re basically addicted to delivering packages as the player. So yeah that was pretty fun

Terrorists thinking humanity isn’t going extinct fast enough and wanting to just rip the bandaid and speed things up. Simple but effective concept

People ask for SUPER VITAL ITEMS right next to completely trivial stuff and I’m LIVING for it. “Please fetch my toy dinosaur”. I feel you dude

The most isolated characters are like "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS THING I LIKE" in your emails because they haven't had contact with other humans in years, it's super relatable

There’s a farm where people use the fact that Timefall rain accelerates time to grow food super quickly in one (1) Timefall and harvest everything just before it starts to die and I LOVE that detail of worldbuilding so much

YOU’RE FIGHTING BEACHED THINGS WITH YOUR OWN BODILY FLUIDS IT’S SO STUPID BUT ALSO SO COOL?? I love yeet-ing my own blood at eldritch entities

THE T W I S T S

All the fanservice (bar one detail that I’m gonna complain about later) is on dudes. This game reeeeeeally likes to show dudes naked or somewhat naked. Mostly the main character but this mocap also L O V E S Mads Mikkelsen and there’s a shit ton of homoerotic shots in there

I love Sam the antisocial papa wolf delivery man and if someone touches him or his baby again, I will cry

LOU. LOU LOU LOU PRECIOUS BABY I’D DIE FOR YOU. Wait I did

I love Fragile and how brave she is and how she keeps helping people even if most of them wrongly think she’s a terrorist and yes I will eat this cryptobiote thank you

I love soft science boi Heartman who keeps dying again and again and is a bit too much interested in bodily fluids

I love garbage man Higgs and how complex, funny and still somewhat tragic this memelord actually turned out to be in the end

Seriously I want to stop fixating on this character but you can’t give me YET ANOTHER character who wants to die but at the hands of someone else, that is unfair to do that right after my fixation on the new Doctor Who Master

So yeah Higgs is yet another character who makes me want to grab him by the lapels and shake him and yell WHY! ARE! YOU! LIKE! THIS! STOP! BEING! LIKE! THIS!!

Cliff broke all three of my feelings beautifully and in excruciatingly well-acted scenes that transcended the sometimes lackluster dialogue

John made me cry during That Scene

Mama your background was tragic and terrifying and you didn’t deserve any of this shit and I love you

Deadman was more funny than anything, really, but I still liked him even if he had no sense of personal space whatsoever and it clashed horribly with Sam’s phobias

The ending had some sad parts but was mostly positive, thank goodness

Now I’m gonna explain things I dislike and this looks long but it’s actually only 5 main things so I bolded them to avoid confusion

Things I really disliked (and could have been handled wayyyy better)

We all know it but Kojima isn’t a master of subtlety and some parts of the dialogue kept repeating the same informations again and again AND AGAIN and I was like “ok ok I get it”

The dialogue can be so bad at times seriously

Kojima is a bad writer there I said it

It was particularly annoying with Amelie/Bridget and the fact she’s a horrible person trying (and failing) to justify her actions wasn’t helping

Bridges protocols are incredibly intrusive. All of them. I know it’s framed as bad and Sam hates being spied on all the time and in the end he destroys the device that does that, but I wish someone else would openly criticise it in-game

I guess Deadman sort of did but still

Also I know the whole BB technology was Bridget’s idea, and since she’s the actual villain it’s framed as a twisted, evil thing during the ending, but I wish that had been framed like that much earlier ; a lot of Bridges employees just... seem to accept the idea that their employer is using premature babies and their dead mothers as useful, if disturbing, devices. They seem to justify it by “uh we stole that technology from terrorists” to try to cope with the idea but... yeah.

I mean, one of the points being made very early on is that Sam sees his BB as his child who must be protected at all costs instead of a detection device, but I really wish he wasn’t the only one to object to that thing

Again, the game DOES frame "using babies and their dead mothers as tools” as evil and twisted, I just wish it was given a lot more weight and way sooner

Now let’s talk about the Token Straight(tm) in this game

In any other kind of context it would be a joke! But Death Stranding literally has a Token Straight Guy!

I mean, there IS a few hetero couples among the Preppers. Not a lot, mind you. Like, there’s the Montaineer and his wife for instance. But they’re just there and it’s not what their side plot is about

No I’m talking about this piece of shit right there

This f█cking Junk Dealer guy complains the girl he loves is dead because of Bridges and emotionally blackmails us by sending us old holograms of her before her supposed death (somewhat disturbing holograms too because she looks... pretty young in them), then he sends us on what’s essentially a suicide mission in a BT infested zone, THEN when we give him proof she’s still alive and living in another bunker nearby, he won’t go there himself to check??

But SHE’s like “ok, bring me to him, then!”

He doesn’t deserve you, girl

I’ve already seen several people pointing out that carrying a woman as cargo on your back is... debatable at best and sexist at worst, but that part didn’t really bother me to be honest? She asked to be carried to him and it’s her choice. She was talking to us the entire way too, so that made things a lot less awkward. Also Sam has this phobia of being touched by other people so I bet carrying another human being on his back isn’t fun for him. It was also super stressful to do, to be honest.

And then there’s this EXTREMELY AWKWARD scene when they’re reunited and decide to get married, and thankfully Sam finds it just as awkward as we do because he’s standing super far away from the bunker in a “can’t they talk about this later - I’m right there” way. And I’m under the impression it was intended as cringy, in a “yeppp young people in love are Like That” sort of way, so I can accept that, to be honest. If you don’t take that scene seriously, it’s pretty fun in, again, a cringy sort of way

BUT

Then you receive more emails later and this piece of shit guy complains about her and he’s like “ugh WOMEN” or “marriage is the worst” and they end up divorced in record time and she goes back to her bunker

Which isn’t my problem with this subplot either, I promise I’m gonna explain myself eventually but this context is important. It’s okay to have characters who are pieces of shit like this guy who reeks of incel cologne. It’s alright. Not every character has to be a role-model. It’s good to have characters you can hate.

BUT THEN they get back together later to try to patch things up and you learn he was part of a gang who murdered her parents even though he protected her against the rest of the gang and that’s what I hated about that storyline. I guess if you squint it can be read as “this woman is making REALLY BAD life choices” but I read it as “he saved her so she owes him something, he can’t be entirely bad” and y i k e s this left such a bad taste in my mouth, good lord.

But yeah miss Chiral Artist you’re making really bad life choices please get away from this dude as soon as you can, thank you

Also don’t do this ‘sending Likes’ pose ever again, it was hilarious but also you made me use the word “cringy” several times in this paragraph even though I absolutely hate cringe culture, look what you made me do

Now I have to talk about a scene that was intentionally disturbing as hell but ONE (1) detail in it was disturbing for the wrong reasons

To be honest, I really don’t like the Metal Gear Solid games and one of the reasons is the rampant sexism in them so I... was kind of bracing myself for Death Stranding and expecting it to have at least SOME really bad fanservice with a woman at one point or another but to my surprise?? There was none? All the fanservice is on dudes??? Hello? I really liked that (well at some point Fragile takes a shower in our room but we see literally nothing except her shoulder and then Sam looks away)?? What a refreshing change

THAT BEING SAID

And if you played the game you know exactly what I’m about to talk about

Yep this is the part where Johannes complains about how the bomb flashback was shot

Ok so I guess I should also give some context in case someone is reading this but hasn’t played the game, but the deal with this scene is that our friend Fragile was betrayed by her colleague Higgs who used to be a porter but became a terrorist after meeting the “main“ villain of the game. First he secretly put a thermonuclear bomb in one of her deliveries so she’d nuke an entire city without even knowing it, and everyone after that thought she was a terrorist. And then he tried to do that shit A SECOND TIME, but she noticed and decided to toss the second nuke into a bottomless lake of tar. But he caught her just before she reached the lake and he decided to give her a sadistic choice, which was “teleport away and the bomb stays there and nukes the city, or carry it to the lake but only in your underwear under this rain that speeds up time and it will do enormous damage to your health and your body”

And of course being the hero she is, she decides to take the second option

And it’s an incredibly disturbing scene and it’s genuinely hard to watch

But it’s also the ONLY time a woman is in her underwear in this entire game and there’s A COUPLE of shots that were male-gaze-y at the beginning before she started to run and the really horrific part started.

So in a way I guess it could have been worse? way worse, even

But it still tarnishes an otherwise disturbing (and harrowing at times ; seriously I know I’m oversensitive but it was physically painful to watch) scene with unnecessary shots

We know Fragile had a young body before this happened, this isn’t the point of this scene, guys

Whoever decided to keep these shots (probably Kojima let’s face it), that is bad and you should feel bad

Idk how to do a visual transition for that next one because I do not want to screen that memo

So here’s a screenshot with a nice landscape instead

tw: acephobia

Now I have to talk about something I like the GENERAL IDEA of, but not how the IN-GAME MATERIAL ABOUT IT was written

Because I have to talk about that “asexual world” memo

First I have to say that I absolutely love the fact that a mainstream game openly says in-game “this future is full of asexual people" and?? it’s just that, it’s a part of this world. That’s just how things are. It’s normalised. I love it. For crying out loud this memo has the word demisexual in it. I can’t think of any other mainstream game that had this word in it so far.

It should have stopped there and let me enjoy that in peace but it didn’t

THE MEMO ITSELF WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE CONCEPTS and there’s some really bad stuff there. I’d say it’s accidental acephobia but it’s still there. I’m not the best person to talk about this because I’m bi, but it still rubbed me the wrong way

The words this memo uses near the beginning are “"sexless lifestyle” among young people” and yikes, my dude. “Lifestyle”, uh? Really?

And then it goes on about how these new labels were already more and more common “among young people before the Death Stranding” and it also rubs me the wrong way, in a “wow young people and their weird labels lol” sort of queerphobic way?

However I’ve seen a post pointing out that the line “One theory posits that the Stranding accelerated the proliferation of these sexualities” was maybe a way of saying ‘yo asexuals are causing the end of the world’ but... I don’t see it, tbh? In the context of the game, society is extremely divided and a lot of people live in complete isolation and social norms have heavily shifted and it’s kind of normal that there’s queer people visible everywhere now, aces included obviously, because nobody’s bothering to hide it anymore. It’s a post-apocalyptic world! People are just being themselves! A lot of characters also seem to be bi/pan! They’re just vibing ok

At least that’s how I read that part, I can understand if someone had a problem with that bit but I didn’t

BUT! THAT’S NOT ALL because the memo concludes (I’m paraphrasing) “the birth rate has dropped, which might be a problem, but harassment and assault have also dropped, which is good, so idk it’s 50/50″ and. like. I get the intention. But it’s clumsy as hell and very bad. Please don’t confuse abuse of power and attraction. They don’t go hand in hand. Don’t do that. Please. And you know that aces can have kids if they want to, right. Come on. It’s 2020 my dude. This shit is harmful

Also. Like. It’s the end of the world in this game. People don’t want kids. It... has nothing to do with aces. Reality itself is crashing down. People are reluctant to have kids because reality.exe might f█cking crash down at any given moment!

Or a Beached Thing could VoidOut their city!

Or someone might send them a nuke, not naming names!!

Anyway!!!

It’s really badly written and whoever wrote it should educate themselves and maybe get an ace to re-read their stuff next time??

Again I’m not the right person to talk about acephobia and I bet an actual ace would have plenty more to say about this

Thankfully it’s a memo written in-game by a random Bridges councellor and NOT by any important character that we actually know

"I must preempt myself by admitting that I do not have any empirical data" yeah so, f█ck off maybe

So I’m just gonna call that guy “another piece of shit character” but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that the memo was written by someone who thought it was a good idea to put it in the game

Just let me enjoy my super queer post-apo world in peace and don’t write shit like that in your game thank you and goodbye

Minor stuff I also disliked but it wasn’t as awful

I get that Sam is upset at the end because Lou is dying but the way he said goodbye to Fragile broke my heart. It was abrupt and you KNOW he’s upset and wants to have nothing to do with Bridges anymore and that’s very understandable but it isn’t her fault

Seriously I want them to be friends again

I’m gonna pretend they’re friends again after Lou is saved and that Sam is a freelance porter again and sometimes their paths cross and they just talk together in the middle of nowhere and share cryptobiotes

The pacing is weird, there’s this deluge of plot in the beginning and the end but not much in the middle?

The BT boss fights could have been these epic Shadow of the Colossus showdowns but no, they were relatively standard boss fights. Wasted opportunity

The running on the Beach scene sdfghjhgfdsdfghjhgf that was... dumb

A lot of preppers are interesting in one way or another but some are just boring. Also I wish the design of their bunkers was more varied

Amelie/Bridget’s motivations are all over the place, both creating Bridges AND the Demens is... a lot? I know she both WANTS and DOESN’T want the actual, final end of the world to happen but that is a lot to take in and it’s all very confusing

Who the hell cares about ‘rebuilding America’ I just want to build a network where people can help each other

The ‘likes’ are fun but don’t make much sense

In conclusion

Death Stranding Good

Some stuff Bad

Some stuff Very Bad (but it’s just one memo out of 100+ memos, thank god)

I’m still hyperfixating

Send help

#death stranding #long post #eye contact tw #acephobia tw #from a minor unamed character but still it's there

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vehcments · 4 years

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╰ * ◞ 𝐈’𝐌 𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐍, got blood on my hands, don’t you understand ? i’m a wanted man .

tw : hit & run mention + child abandonment .

* rosa from tik tok vc * zude come here . you wanna read my intro ? i fuckin knew it zude ! introducing the god of romanticizing the rich & born from hyperfixations of villains carrying my favorite shows on their backs . i’m figuring him out as we go , so pleath be soft w us . i’m tokyo , using est though i wouldn’t take it too seriously since quarantine has my schedule in a disarray , nineteen & using femme pronouns . if u wanna plot just click that ♡ & i’ll come bother within a moments notice ! :’)

╰ * ◞ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒 ; they didn't know it when they turned me loose, i shot the sheriff & i slipped the noose .

full name : luciano aleksei suaréz .

nicknames : lucky , luci ( by family primarily ) .

gender identity : cismale , he & him .

sexual orientation : bats eyelashes, blank stare .

date of birth : october 31st .

zodiac sign : scorpio .

current age : twenty one .

hometown : brooklyn , ny .

nationality : american .

ethnicity : mexican , iranian & undistinguished european .

languages spoken : english , spanish & ukranian .

occupation : mechanic at a local autoparts center .

education : incoming junior at cape coral & of the men’s soccer team .

weight : 84kg , 186 lbs .

height : 1.87m , 6′2″ .

the rest of his stats ( family, moral alignment, mbti, virtues & vices, etc ) may be found here !

╰ * ◞ 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄(S) ; the law ain't never been a friend of mine, i would kill again to keep from doing time , you should never trust my kind .

monster — they are either half human or not human at all & usually provoke fear & panic .

reluctant monster — the reluctant monster usually has no idea that they’re a monster at all. they are often a member of a species that traditionally does nasty things to people, but that is not in their own personal nature .

╰ * ◞ 𝐃𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑 ; if you ask me to change, i don't know if i can . i'll always be who i am , i’m a wanted man .

the last of the suaréz clan & one who’s completed the trio of bastard children. fed with the quaint desperation of a fallen star begging to find something to live for. but this one turns out just as faulty, if not more inferior than the last two. lucky was seven years old when his mother finally had enough. it wasn’t the first or even the last humiliation she put to him, but it might’ve been the worst. because he hadn’t been taken from her. she’d tried to surrender him. it wasn’t as if some concerned neighbor had called child services. not like it was a tragic news story of a mother who died in a car crash. not like someone had noticed that her little boy couldn’t form a proper sentence, that his clothes were filled with holes, that his ribs poked from underneath, that he fell asleep anywhere & everywhere far too easily. no one seemed to see the bruises on his throat & pelvis. or the strange men that came & went at all hours from her apartment. she left him at the nearest station in the middle of the night. left him like a box of puppies she couldn’t afford to keep. she might’ve told him that this was for the best. wasn’t until the early hours that he’d been moved to portland to live with his older sibling & begrudging father ( another name on his taxes served as a motivational purpose ) .

he’s best described by the element of fire : passionate, impulsive, could change on a whim, violent, temperamental & when not contained can burn wild. when everyone else is running, keeping secrets, afraid of drama, afraid of pain & afraid of the bad in the world, he takes it head on. forces the pain on others as well because the pain is inevitable. he would choose it all again because he believes in no regrets. he is fire & fire burns absolutely. there is no hiding & there’s no secretive lure that lucky has attained to gain what he wants. rather, if you can believe it, honesty is a virtue & he pays it well. a wolf in sheep’s clothing is never a facade he’s sought out. no, you see him coming. in the morning rays that slice across bronze hues & the pearl light of the moon that reflects them into a ghastly green.

the reason behind such a cruel physique isn’t entirely due to a glum past. no, in fact anyone who’d try to use their misfortunes as an excuse during mandatory therapy sessions were seen as pathetic in his eyes. rather, it’s the likes of one particular night that’s left him unhinged. no longer the class riot, known to play harmless tricks & still feel the need to apologize straight after . the echoing crunch of someone slamming into your windshield & rolling below your wheels is enough to leave your psyche maimed ; vulnerable for the taking, though not without a fight. that much is true. the way you shake as you glance toward the passengers seat, a friend --- more or less --- as inebriated as you are blinking back to reality ( wc ! ) . you both make it back to your respective homes but not before your sibling lets you in to avoid waking your father. you both say nothing. but they know you’ve done something ( wc ! ) . months pass & you’re invited to attend the most prestigious university in the state. looks are certainly not everything you attain. it’s a pain to know that you’ve got to share a room with someone, though. what’s that stupid expression ? money doesn’t grow on trees. splitting the rent seems fair, as long as they don’t ask questions ( wc ! ) .

#* ❪ 🔪 ❫ ﹕ 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗵𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀. / details.#a mix of christian & lu ? true .#capecoral:intro #ya'll : i would die for u .#lucky : u will .

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fullmetal-the-last-alchemist · 4 years

Note

hey hey!!!! for the emoji meme, 🤗💕👽😊💘🍀 AND ⚔! many emotions heart full ; u ; for the other one, would you mind doing 2, 6, 7, 14, 15, 16, 29, and 30? those are a lot, so you definitely don't have to do all of them ^^; also, I hope math has eased off of your back a bit! ;__; it seems like school is a nightmare for everyone right now

SARAH MY DEAREST SARAH ;____;/ math has now finally gotten the FUCK off my back after 10 (TEN) straight hours of doing matrices and getting carpet tunnel and Suffering 😭😭 but its fine cause im done now!!!!!!!!!!! i got both my 80s and im all set. i hope school isn’t too horrible for u right now too!!! ; o ; and of COURSE im gonna answer all of these!!!!! under the cut cause im a polite lesbian <3

first things first, emojis!!!!! i don’t know why im “replying” to these too but!! here!!!!! (its mostly me crying nd saying NO U gfjkdghf 😅)

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you !!!!!! I WOULD HUG U TOO!!!! ;__; i love hugs,,, ilysm bro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

💕 we have a lot in common UR GODDAMN RIGHT we have excellent fucking taste and we r both epic 💖

👽 you’re out of this world SO ARE YOU, MY FUNKY FRIEND 💃🏻💃🏻

😊 Your blog makes me smile !!! that makes me rlly happy to hear!!!!!!! ;__; i hope it does, bc you deserve to smile 💝

💘 I love you so much HHHGJFJKH!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

🍀 I’m lucky to have met you ME TOO!!!!!!!!! I feel so lucky to have you as a friend!!!!!!!!!! 🥺🥺 and even MORE lucky that you feel the same!!!!!!!! wtf!!!!!!!!!!

⚔ I trust that you would have my back YOU BET I WOULD!!!!!!! i’m ride or die, would absolutely fight ANYone for you 🥰🥰

AND NOW QUESTIONS

2. What is your favorite color? is it ok to say rainbow 😅 i rlly do love all the colors!!! if i HAD to pick it’d be like... pink, or purple, or red or blue

6. When’s the last time you felt like you were floating? UHH last night actually? i was on the verge of falling asleep, and i felt like i was falling a long distance, but really, really slowly... it was surreal? i sort of woke up after so it didn’t last long, but it was pretty weird

7. What do you enjoy daydreaming about most? fic ideas mostly 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ when i have something to hyperfixate on, my brain rlly will just grab it and Not Let Go lmao. i also like daydreaming about owning a house someday and doing rlly mundane things and just,, enjoying the peace and freedom and solitude of it all

14. Talk about one of your most cherished childhood memories. uhhhhh. UHHH. im seriously blanking on this......... bro my memory recall sucks 😭😭 i just had to snap LJ to ask for help hjkdshgd ANYWAYS she suggested when we got our cat and like YES!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ll never forget coming home from my basketball game, seeing cat toys on my placemat at the table and being like !!!!! Oh Shit i think i Know whats Going On, and then my mom leading me downstairs, where the sibs and our dad were waiting with our new kitty!!!!!! i think LJ or our dad was trying to hold him for when i came down, but he jumped away at the last second ghdkshjdh accurate as hell tbh. anyways i love my baby and that was the BEST christmas ever, bar none <3

15. Talk about something exciting or good that happened to you this year. I SAW DAVID BYRNE IN CONCERT!!!!!! AND THEN I WENT TO GERMANY FOR TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! (and On God sarah i am GOING to type out those stories for u even if it kills me hhfjdkghh) basically all of january FUCKING SLAPPED and i’m glad that no matter what happens this year, i was able to start the decade on the highest note possible ✌🏼

16. Where do you feel most at home? when i’m somewhere familiar, and alone. when i know that no one will come and disturb me, but they’re there if i want to reach out.

29. Do you collect anything? And what are some hobbies you have? i guess i collect copic markers 😅😅 i have all 5 ciao sets, plus the cool grayscale set and the pastels set. which is definitely excessive BUT i don’t care, i love having markers <3 i also collect elephant figurines!!! i don’t have many, but i got one in germany, and my brother got me two small one for xmas, and i have a jade one from my grandmother, plus a couple more!!!! i just rlly love elephants <3 and as for hobbies: DRAWING!!! AND WRITING!!!!!! if i couldn’t do either of these things i’d probably die lmao, especially drawing. it’s like.. the ONE single craft that i’ve actually put effort into and cultivated for years and years of my life. i love drawing so much and i wouldn’t give it up for anything

30. What do you do to feel at peace? good question!!! :’) this is actually something that’s kind of bothered me for a while... i’ll read or hear about people sitting and breathing to feel at peace, just chilling somewhere and experiencing the moment; or going on drives to different places, somewhere that just puts their mind at ease. maybe writing, or baking, or any other idealistic, pretty-sounding thing that makes them feel at peace. but no matter what i do, nothing ever really works for me? it’s like my brain is Always rushing, always frantic in some way, and i can’t figure out how to make it shut up. idk!!!!!!!! that’s my answer. but i hope i find something, someday? yeah

#thank you so much sarah!!!!!!!!!!! i got this when i had like three problems left on my second quiz and it rlly helped me power through ;__;#ask #me #poptartmochi #i love u so much and i hope ur having a rlly good night!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

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stardustdaemon · 4 years

Note

“Fanfiction Writer Asks” Answer all of the ones that apply to you! (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ you’re welcome!

Finally on desktop so can answer these <3

Got kinda long so putting it under a keep reading but thank you friend <3

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?- I think about 11 oh my god

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one? - Published i write for bts, MysMes, FFVII and Uncharted but in general. Knb, Free!, Nabari no Ou, YGO (lmao) and a few more. I don’t have a fave

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer. - OC’s!!! I’m really bad at reader inserts because I struggle with any kind of first person persepctive.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?- Comedy and Fluff but i do specialise in angst

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?- The Tones of His Voice, it was super tough to write and kind of personal <3

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why? - Ap and Book Recs lmao. I kinda hate it but people seem to enjoy it

7) When is your preferred time to write?- NIIIGGGHHTT TTIIIMMMEEE

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?-Anything and everything. It can be interactions i’ve had, stories my friends tell me, scenes from something I’m watching or music.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?- It’s actually 707 lmao, he’s super dynamic so it’s fun to explore the different sides of him

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?- AOMINE FUCKING DAIKI. idk why but i can’t get the hang of him >:(

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?- I’m a machine for weird and unusual names and i love coming up with names so i tend to come up with the name then build the character around it.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.- “Aw come on, don’t be like that, it’s been fourty eight hours since I last saw you, I don’t even get a hug?” Zack pouted, taking slow but short steps towards his best friend who just shook his head, raising an eyebrow as he approached him before suddenly veering to the side, arm swiping to hit Zack across the back with a quick call of “Look, the bus is here.” - It’s a clack au fic <3

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them? - SO MANY. Mostly because i kind of lost the feel or motivation for them. Or straight up forgot what direction I was going in.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently? - We’re Gonna Be Okay. I wanted it to be longer but I’m afraid of ruining it by doing that.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?- I NEED music to write

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?- Makes me kinda uncomfortabe

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?- oh yes, many a time.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow? - I sometimes plan it all out but I always end up taking it somewhere completely different xD

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction? - Correct format and a better understanding on dialogue to descriptive ratio.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?- That one of my fics actually gave a lot of hope to someone after a bad breakup.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?- I haven’t really recieved any

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest? - Sometimes with a few people but half the time I just write.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s? - It’s cliche af.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?- a mix between second and third

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?- Yes

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?- Seijouro Mikoshiba lmao

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?- Yes, but only kinda

44) What is the last line you wrote?- “They stood like that for a while, smiling at the other before Kise threw a finger over his shoulder, mentioning he should head in. Aomine nodded, allowing himself a few more seconds of watching the other before slowly stepping backwards.” I’m back on my aokise bullshit xD

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?- Music and unfortunately usually hyperfixation.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write? - Meet Cute/ Meet Ugly AU’s

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about? - I think it was a spirit shipping fic called The White Knight

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? - AANNNNGGSSSTTTT. And mostly because I’m just really good at it xD

#roseusuitta #mao talks #thank you <3

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itsallavengers · 6 years

Text

Take Me For A Spin

Commission for @fd1922 , who asked:

Steve is a Police Officer and pulls Tony over for speeding. Tony has no luck charming or bribing him and swears to make Steve’s life hell for giving him a ticket, however nothing works as he plans.

This comes in at 10k

Tony had to admit, he probably hadn’t thought this through.

It was late. The roads were empty. And come on, he’d just finished touching up the sports car he’d been painstakingly hyperfixating on for God only knows how long. That thing was his baby. He loved his car. He’d missed business meetings and weapons demonstrations and charity galas and sex in order to finish this car- that was how serious he’d been about it. And when it had been finished, his first thought had simply been ‘how fast will this thing go?’

And, y’know- the empty roads that winded around the coastline next to his house were right there. In his mind, the idea of taking it all the way to some racetrack for testing was just stupid.

Except for the fact that racetracks tended not to have cops that would chase after you if you started going fifty-odd miles over the speeding limit. That… probably should have been something he had taken into consideration, really.

He flicked his eyes up to the mirror and frowned as the motorbike with the flashing blue lights tried to catch up with him. Tony glanced down to the dash to see- whoa, okay, yeah, perhaps 110 mph was a little bit speedy. He was pretty sure the limit on this road was like, 65.

Whoops.

What cops waited around on empty roads like this one anyway? At 4:56 in the God Damned morning? Come on, this was hardly Tony’s fault.

Groaning in annoyance, he put his foot on the break as slowed himself down. Not that he couldn’t just pay the fine with the spare change in his pocket right there and then, but the cop might talk about removing his licence or something, and then he’d have to jump through all these damn hoops and he really couldn’t be bothered with that at 5 in the morning.

Well. 110 wasn’t that bad, really. And Tony had charmed his way out of worse.

Pulling over, Tony shut his eyes and sighed as he leaned back against the headrest. He hoped it was a woman. Power of averages usually meant that women were easier to flirt with, and he could use a little bit of luck right about n-

The motorbike pulled up behind him, and Tony could see immediately that nope, today there would be no luck for him. That was a guy. That was… a built guy, damn, Tony could see that from all the way back in his damn car.

The man dismounted effortlessly from his bike, and Tony watched as he pulled off his helmet and let it rest on the seat. The only thought that really popped into his mind after that was ‘wow’.

Adonis-Cop marched over, his back straight, his blonde hair sticking up at all angles from the helmet he’d previously had on, and Tony simply watched him through the rear-view mirror, mouth going dry. Okay, yeah, he was definitely changing his mind- he had to thank whatever God was watching him right then and there that this was not a woman, and was in fact a hunky 6-foot beauty. Holy shit. Tony didn’t think he’d ever seen someone so attractive in his life. And that was saying something; he worked alongside Pepper Potts.

He refrained the urge to rev up the engine as Adonis-Cop made his way over to the driver’s seat. That would be crass.

Tony rolled down the window and looked up, smiling at Adonis-Cop with his white teeth. He’d shaved earlier that night, too, so at least he didn’t look scruffy. “Well hello, Offic-“

“Do you know how fast you’re going, sir?” Adonis-Cop cut in swiftly, arms folded, entirely unimpressed in front of him.

Tony stopped, glancing at his dash and then looking back up with another smile. “Well right now, Officer, I’m currently at zero.”

The cop didn’t even blink, but the look on his face made Tony certain that he was going to be one tough nut to crack. Tony couldn’t even blame him- anyone out at this time on the worst most boring shift in the whole world would undoubtedly be in a pissy mood. Tony would be lucky to get anything out of this at all except a hefty fine and some points added to his damned license, again.

“That was over 100 miles an hour back there,” Adonis-Cop waved down the road and then turned back, a dry look on his face. “The limit is 65.”

“Oh, my bad.” He shrugged, and then shot the Greek God-like cop a quick onceover. “What’s your name then, handsome?” He chose wisely to ignore the cop’s previous statements as he tapped his fingers against the wheel and grinned. “And how, may I ask, have I never seen you in these parts before?”

The cop looked at him, jaw clenching. “Rogers, sir. Officer Rogers. And I don’t see why you would be seeing me, unless you’re used to getting stopped by cops on a regular basis?” Rogers raised an eyebrow and hummed.

Tony was about to open his mouth and respond when something caught his attention from the corner of his eye. Behind Rogers was his bike; the ugly yellow painting that signified he was a cop standing out like an eyesore against the craggy roadside. It seemed fine to the average eye- but Tony was no average eye, and his brow creased as he zoned in on the machine.

A second later, he opened the door and stepped outside, neatly sidestepping Officer Adonis and shuffling toward the bike. Rogers turned with him, and Tony guessed there was a slightly confused look on his face. “Uh- sir-“

“Please, call me Tony,” he crouched down next to the bike and trailed his fingers across the metalwork. “I hate being called sir.”

“Okay then, Tony, I’m going to have to ask you to step away from th-“

“Did you know you’ve got a part of the exoskeleton just hanging off up here?” Tony gestured to a piece toward the back of the bike, around where Rogers’ feet would usually sit, and frowned in concern. It was slightly elevated away from the rest of the bike, and when Tony pressed against it, it creaked back into place before falling down again once his fingers left.

Rogers spluttered a little bit, and then when Tony turned to him, he noticed his cheeks had turned a little pink under the half-light of dawn. “I- Sir, Tony, that is none of your concern, I think we should focus on the matter at hand here-“

“Uh, the matter of hand here is that if you turned too sharp and this hit the concrete, you’re dead, buddy.” Tony shot him an incredulous look. “Why haven’t you gone to get this fixed?”

There was the sound of shuffling feet, and then Tony watched Rogers’ enormous shoulders shrug up and down. “I… uh, I’ve already broken two other bikes. Precinct said if I did it again I’d be paying from my own wage. Can’t exactly… afford that. It’s fine. I make sure to be careful around bends.”

Tony gaped at him, and then scoffed. “Well that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever fucking heard.” He stood back up and then marched forward, pulling open the door of his car and then slipping in before looking back up to a thoroughly bewildered Rogers. “Come on. You’re coming with me.”

Rogers blinked. “No I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“No, Tony, I am not. I need to give you your ticket and you need to be on your way-“

“You can give me the damn ticket back at my place, but for now, I’m telling you to come with me so I can sort out your bike before you fall off and die.” He fluttered his eyelashes dramatically and tilted his head. “Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

Rogers just huffed incredulously. “Sir, I like to make a point not to drive home with strangers who I’ve just had to give speeding tickets to.”

Tony watched him for a moment, before it clicked into place and his eyes widened in shock. “You don’t know who I am, do you,” he stated blankly.

Rogers seemed almost amused by that, cocking his head and holding back a smile. “Should I?” He asked.

Tony paused for a moment, and then in answer, he pulled out his wallet from the back of his pocket and handed over his licence to Rogers, before turning back and staring out into the road. He waited the two seconds it took for things to suddenly click in Rogers’ mind, and then he heard the audible gasp and muttered curse from outside the car.

“Tony Stark,” Rogers read out dumbly, “uh… oh. You’re the… the genius guy. The one on the news all the time. Oh.”

Tony turned his head back around, smiling as brightly as he could. “Am I allowed to fix your bike and possibly save your life now, Officer Rogers?” He asked.

The man open and shut his mouth like a goldfish for a few seconds, before looking back to his bike. “I can’t afford it, I already-“

“What, you think I’m gonna charge for this? It’ll take me like, two seconds. And if you hadn’t already gathered, I’m kind of rich as fuck. It’s fine. Freebie.”

Rogers frowned, as if that was just a little too good to be true. Tony figured it probably was pretty unusual, not the usual kind of scenario Officer Rogers would be having to deal with on his nightly shift.

Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity of contemplation from the other man, Rogers threw up his hands in surrender. “Fuck it. Alright. I’m still fining you for speeding though, alright? This isn’t like, bribery. I’m just letting you do me a favour.”

“Don’t worry, your morality is still intact,” Tony rolled his eyes and slid a hand through his hair, gesturing to the motorcycle. “Just drive behind me until we get back to my place- and please, no sharp turns.”

“If you don’t speed, then we have a deal.”

Tony flashed a grin, turning back to the road and then revving up the engine like he’d wanted to do at the very start. “No promises, darling.”

He ended up sticking to the speed limits, if only to stop Rogers from following him and then crashing his faulty fucking bike. He got the feeling that the man would be petty enough to try it, even if it meant his death. Officer Rogers just seemed to radiate that sort of pettiness.

They pulled up to his mansion ten minutes later, and Tony got to watch as Rogers took off his helmet and released that floppy hair all over his face again. It truly was a wonderful sight to behold.

Rogers looked to him, shuffling a little awkwardly on his feet. “This is a… big place,” he stated in the end, looking up at the grand architecture with something akin to awe on his face.

Tony grinned, slipping out of the car. “Sure is,” he said airily, “gotta fit my big personality in there.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Rogers said, a wry note to his voice. Tony glanced at him once, before shaking his head and then walking over to the bike. He got down on his haunches again, stroking the machine gently.

“What’s the nasty cop done to you then, hmm?” Tony asked it softly, whilst Rogers just snorted up above. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll get you fixed in no time.” He looked up, and then glanced to the keys in Rogers’ hand. “I can ride it over to the transport deck and then you can just wait up in the lounge area if you want. Shouldn’t take more than half an hour-“

“I’d rather be there, if you don’t mind.” Rogers told him with an air that spoke of no argument. Seemed he was still a little bit tense about the whole thing. “I can ride it over, don’t worry.”

Tony just shrugged, gesturing the way. Rogers mounted swiftly, and Tony got a lovely view of the rather perfectly formed ass of his as he went, which was certainly a plus. They both made their way down to Tony’s garage where he kept all his tools, and as soon as Tony got inside, he instantly shucked off his jacket, knowing he would probably ruin it completely if he kept it on for a moment more. He clapped his hands once, and all the lights in the room flickered on. Rogers turned in surprise, and that look of awe was back on his face as he stared around the room at all the fancy cars and shining equipment that surrounded them. Tony hid a grin- nothing better than showing off to a pretty blond. And really, officer Rogers was the prettiest blond Tony had seen in a long time.

“Get comfy,” Tony gestured to the couch in the corner of the room, “entertain yourself for a while.”

“What are you gonna do to it?” Rogers asked, walking over to his bike with curiosity instead of the couch.

Tony made a vague gesture. “Solder it back up, nothing much. Looks like your suspension is a little worn-out too, so I might have a mess around with that.” He turned to Steve and shot him a little wink. “If this doesn’t get me out of points on my license, I really do not know what will.”

Rogers huffed and rolled his eyes. “Make no promises, Stark.”

“Ah, well that wasn’t a no, was it?” Tony tilted his head and then turned around to the bike, sitting down on his ass with his legs crossed. He glanced behind and spotted Rogers smiling at his back, face somewhat incredulous.

He settled down into his work, vaguely aware that Rogers was on a stool behind him, fiddling with a pen and paper on the desk as he watched Tony work.

“This feels kinda surreal,” Rogers admitted after a while, and Tony laughed a little as he wrenched a bolt into place. “And also wildly unprofessional.”

Tony shrugged. “It’s a shit job anyway.”

“I…” Steve audibly sighed. “Yeah, it’s true. You’re the first person I’ve even seen on that highway since I got the damned job.”

Tony paused, looking toward Rogers pityingly. The man just shrugged, and his smile was a little weary. “Something’s gotta pay for my apartment, Mr Stark. The early morning shift on a road no one even drives down just happens to be the thing that’ll get me the money.”

I’ll pay it, Tony almost said for a moment; a throwaway comment in the back of his mind. He didn’t, of course- he hadn’t even known Rogers for more than an hour and he already knew there was no way the man would take it. Far too prideful for that. Plus, Pepper had warned him that doing things like that tended to freak normal people out, and that wasn’t exactly what he wanted here. He’d moved on past charming himself out of a ticket to downright wooing techniques here, ever since he’d seen Rogers smile. It was a very, very nice smile. Tony wanted to see it more.

“My name’s Steve, by the way,” Rogers- well, Tony supposed it was Steve now- told him after a moment of silence. “Figured I should probably be on first-name basis with you now, seeing as you’re doing this for me.”

Tony waved a hand. “No problem, Ro- Steve. I could do this in my sleep, honestly.”

Steve chuckled, fiddling at the hem of his uniform. His damn shoulders could barely even fit into the thing, and Tony could see the buttons stretching around his chest. It should just look ridiculous, but it most certainly did not. Tony wanted to rip the damn thing right off him.

Maybe he’d keep the hat on, though.

Some time passed before he noticed Steve moving around the garage, and as he turned his head to check what he was doing, he saw the man looking down at the car that Tony had been speeding around in that night. His eyes were curious, and he had a face like that of a child in a candy shop. Tony got the feeling that Steve Rogers rarely got see expensive cars like that.

“What make is this?” Steve asked after a second, when he realized Tony was looking. “It’s stunning. I’ve never seen it before.”

“That’s because it’s not on the market,” Tony spun around and grinned, unable to stop the flutter of pride. “It’s mine. I built it.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “You’re joking. Seriously? All of it?”

“All of it.”

Pale fingers brushed over the dark purple paintwork delicately. “Wow,” Steve breathed, turning to him. “That’s amazing.”

Tony couldn’t help but preen, and he sat up a little straighter. “Zero to sixty in 1.9 seconds,” he winked again at Steve’s sharp exhale. “You see why I wanted to give her a spin as soon as I could?”

“You’re bullshitting,” Steve shook his head firmly. “No way. Fastest car in the world can’t even get that far.”

“Well darling, that’s not the fastest car in the world any more, is it?” Tony leaned forward on his elbows and grinned wolfishly, feeding off Steve’s disbelief. So sue him, he was a bit of an attention whore when it came to impressing people of the likes of Mr Adonis Rogers. “Anyway, Bugatti bought blueprints for the engine they used off Stark Industries, AKA myself, anyway. So technically, I was just breaking my own record.”

Steve said nothing, but then he laughed somewhat hysterically. “I cannot believe this is happening to me at-” he glanced down at his watch, “-six in the morning. I feel as if I might be dreaming.”

Tony turned back to the motorbike, a smile on his face. “I’ll let you ride it if you agree to drop the speeding ticket.”

That brought on a longer pause, and Tony almost thought he’d got it, but then Steve scoffed. “No chance, Stark.”

Tony just laughed. Stubborn fucking bastard.

They talked through the rest of the night (or, Tony supposed, early morning), and next time Tony looked up, the morning sun was filtering through the basement windows. He blinked, looking down at the motorbike under his hands. He’d fixed up the loose attachment in the first twenty minutes- since then he’d just been tinkering and making upgrades as he talked to Steve.

Huh. He wasn’t sure when the last time had been that he’d managed to talk to someone that long, with barely a pause.

“Done,” he clapped his hands and shook the thought from his head, looking over to Steve who was now lounging over the desk and stroking the pencil over a pad of paper absently. He had beautiful hands, Tony noted. Agile. Strong. And God, the man’s biceps were probably bigger than Tony’s entire head. He really was… beautiful.

“Great!” Steve beamed at him, sitting up straighter, and Tony blinked as he snapped back into focus. Don’t think about Steve’s biceps. Don’t think about Steve’s biceps. Don’t think about Steve’s biceps. “Thank you, Tony. Really, this was great of you. I really appreciate it.”

Tony watched Steve as he inspected the bike in curiosity, his hands moving over the bike fondly. Steve probably wouldn’t notice any of the other modifications until he actually rode the thing, and so Tony kept his mouth shut about it. He preferred surprising him.

They brought the thing out from the garage, still chatting as they went. By that time, the sun was up and sending golden bursts of light over Steve’s face, his hair. He glowed under the sunbeams. His eyes were like oceans.

Oh God, since when had Tony become Shakespeare? This was just embarrassing.

“Well, I should probably get going,” Steve gestured awkwardly toward the gates of Tony’s mansion. “Thank you again. You did me a really big favour there. Oh, and before I forget-“ he shuffled around in his pockets, before pulling out the ticket pad with a wry smile.

Tony’s face fell, and he sighed loudly. “Really? After everything we’ve been through, Steven?”

“This was always the deal.”

“Oh, come on, I cannot believe-“

“110 miles per hour, Tony. 110. I have to do my job, unfortunately. I’m sure you’ll be able to scrape together the funds.” Steve shot him a dry look and then glanced over to Tony’s larger than life mansion, before breaking out into a small smile and then tearing off the ticket, holding it out for Tony to take with a look on his face that was far too smug for his liking.

Tony glared at him for a moment, before pinching the paper between two fingers and snatching it down, glaring at it mutinously. “I’m very offended at this betrayal,” he declared sulkily.

Steve beamed at him. Tony ended up grinning back. Damn it.

“Don’t let me catch you at that speed again, you hear me?” Steve called out behind him, mounting the bike once more and slipping the helmet onto his head. Tony folded his arms and watched him.

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“I mean- I could get you arrested, so technically-“

“Alright, alright, don’t pull me up on technicalities, I’ve been awake for two days.” Tony waved him off with a huff, catching the man’s blue eyes through the visor and tamping down a smile. He opened his mouth, trying to figure out the right way to ask the officer who had ticketed him for speeding if he wanted to go get coffee sometime- somehow it felt harder than just asking your average Joe, really. Plus, he didn’t even know if Steve swung that way. He’d been getting that vibe, maybe, but that wasn’t exactly conclusive proof, and Tony didn’t really fancy getting rejected by what was probably the hottest and strangely genuine man he’d ever met in his entire life-

Of course, he was so lost in thought that by the time he managed to snap out of it and just ask, Steve was already revving up the engine and looking back down Tony’s driveway.

“Thanks for everything, Tony! Stay safe on the roads!” Steve called, waving a hand- and then he was gone, zooming down the concrete in what Tony was certain was over the speed limit.

Bastard.

He watched Officer Steve Rogers’ back as it disappeared around the corner, mouth still half-open with words he’d never been able to speak, and felt himself deflate a little. Not that he’d really been expecting anything from that, but…

Well. He’d had a nice night, that was all.

It was three days later until Tony had his idea.

Halfway through a mouthful of lucky charms he’d been eating directly from the box, he inhaled sharply and then shot a look off to the clock on the counter. 4:13am. Insomnia was being a bitch again- but in this one instance, it may just have been his silver lining.

“JARVIS, I’m going out,” Tony declared, jumping off the counter and brushing crumbs from his shirt.

“Of course you are, Sir,” JARVIS answered, somewhat despairingly. “May I ask what the nature of this trip is?”

“True love.”

“That does make perfect sense. Will I need to have the Emergency Services on standby?”

Tony paused, before thinking it over and shrugging. “I don’t think so. I am merely going to do my best at wooing a particularly sarcastic Police officer who booked me for speeding a few days ago.”

“In that case, I wish you the best of luck, sir,” JARVIS told him, before adding in a quieter tone, “and will inform the fire services that something may possibly explode.”

Tony looked at the security camera, unimpressed. If JARVIS had a human body, he would’ve shrugged. “I am simply thinking ahead. Your track record with ‘wooing’ people has been almost comically disastrous so far.”

“Shut up, you stupid robot,” Tony groused, grabbing his keys and sticking his middle finger up into the empty room. JARVIS may have had a point there, but that didn’t mean that he had to say it.

Anyway. This time was going to be different. Tony was going to woo the fuck out of Officer Steve Rogers.

Slipping into the car that had got him into this mess in the first place, Tony sped out of the gates and onto the road, fingers tapping against the wheel as he drove. It was a bit earlier than it had been the first time, but Tony figured he could just spend some time going back and forth down the highway if he had to.

He kept his eyes peeled as he drove, this time making sure to keep just slighty over the speed limit as he went. No need to piss Steve off further, after all. And this time, he wouldn’t be able to soften him up by fixing his bike. That piece of machinery probably wouldn’t need fixing for the next ten years now that Tony had messed around with it.

What could he say? He never did things by halves.

Turning the corner, he spun onto the road that followed the edge of the cliffs and couldn’t help but grin to himself as he felt the power in the engine. He fucking loved cars- he’d always wanted to work in a garage when he’d been a kid. There was just something intrinsically thrilling about them.

He wanted Steve in this car. Now that would be a thing of true beauty.

The powerful headlights lit the way for him, and he checked out his reflection in the rear-view mirror as he cut through the terrain. He’d gotten back from a late-night meeting a few hours earlier, so he was still in a semi-decent state. Small coffee stain on his chest, but that would probably go unnoticed, right? Unless Steve was observant, which he probably was, because, y’know, cop- should he go back and change? Was Steve going to think he was a clumsy unhygienic idiot if he didn’t? God, the shirt wasn’t even nice anyway, who the hell even wore Armani these days-

He spotted a yellow and blue motorcycle come into view under his headlights, and quickly slowed down before Steve caught him. Honest to God, he hadn’t even been that far above the limit that time- just been a bit tied up in his own thoughts.

With a sly grin, he pressed down on the horn and then watched Steve jump wildly up ahead, head turning to face the sound of the noise. He was lit up by the lights for a moment before Tony braked rapidly and then ground to a halt directly in front of Steve.

The look on the other man’s face was priceless.

“Hey, Officer,” Tony cocked his head and shot Steve a once-over. “Fancy seeing you again.”

“Tony,” Steve said his name dumbly, before blinking a few times and then huffing in surprise. “What are you- why-“

“I was bored,” Tony shrugged absently, pulling off the road and then cutting the engine. “Figured no one else would be awake at such a ridiculous time other than my favourite police officer.”

“I- I gave you a speeding ticket and made you fix my bike at 6 in the morning.”

Tony just rolled his eyes, slipping out of the car and then brushing against Steve’s shoulder as he hopped onto the hood of his car. Steve’s hand half went out as if to stop him before he caught himself and just curled it into a fist. Tony grinned. “Worried about the paintwork?”

“That paintwork probably costs more than my whole apartment, so yes, you could say I am,” Steve told him, leaning back on his bike in a way that made Tony’s mouth go dry. Oblivious to that fact, Steve simply grinned, looking over to Tony in amusement. “What are you really doing here, Tony? Trying to land yourself another ticket?”

Tony lay back on the hood, hands pillowing behind his head as he gazed up at the stars. “I wanted to see you again,” he admitted bluntly, “you interest me.”

“Is that so?” Steve asked him, voice sounding as if he was simply humouring Tony. “Because yeah, I am definitely one of the most interesting things you could be engaging with in Malibu.”

Tony looked up at him. “Pretty much, yeah,” he shrugged, flopping back down. “You make me laugh. And you didn’t take my bullshit. Kinda dig that, not gonna lie.”

He watched Steve shake his head and smile, looking away. When he rested his hands behind him and on the bike, Tony watched his muscles tense with a riveting sort of fascination. God, Tony wasn’t even sure what he was doing- it was almost impossible that someone like Steve wasn’t already taken. The notion of Tony even having a shot was just ridiculous.

Ah, well. Tony was going to try anyway.

“What’s your favourite colour?” He asked when the silence got a little too long, and Steve turned to him with a small frown, thrown by the randomness of the question.

“Orange,” he said slowly.

“Why?”

Steve turned his head, and looked toward the horizon, where the first few rays of light were just beginning to wake the world around them. “I love the sunlight,” he said simply. “It’s the most beautiful thing in the world that is available to the masses, for free, every day.”

Tony couldn’t say he’d ever thought about it like that. Sun was just that star thing that told him it was time to get some fucking sleep. But he liked how Steve put it. “What about your favourite number?”

Steve turned to him, half amused, half confused. “Why are we playing twenty questions?”

Tony sat up, rubbing absently at the coffee stain on his chest. When he looked up, Steve was staring at him. “I want to get to know you,” Tony told him simply.

A small crease popped up on Steve’s face, before smoothing out into a bashful smile. “Eight,” he said, “my favourite number is eight.”

“Favourite food?”

“Street Vendor corndogs.”

“God, I knew you were a New Yorker!” Tony pointed a finger accusingly and Steve laughed, “absolutely no one except New Yorkers would ever say that, ever.”

Steve’s laugh was lovely. Tony wanted to record the thing and then just listen to it, or bottle it and then keep it on his desk or something equally ridiculous. Over the course of their conversation, he got to hear that laugh a handful more times, and each time it just seemed to get better and better. As time went on, Tony noticed that the way Steve moved was entrancing as well- he was huge, but fluid. Almost graceful. And his hands, God, Tony couldn’t stop looking at them, he was pretty sure he was developing an obsession. As Steve moved them up to run through his hair, Tony caught a fleck of something purple crawling around his thumb. There was some green too, just under his cuff.

“You paint,” Tony blurted in surprise, and then watched as Steve paused, looking at Tony in surprise. In response, Tony gestured to his wrist. “You’ve… there’s paint on your hands.”

Steve looked down, and then rubbed at the marks. “Oh,” he said slowly, “yeah. Yeah, when I can afford to.”

Tony watched him; the way his face clouded over for just a moment, before he hid it away again and smiled. Tony guessed that Steve rarely got around to affording it. There was a reason he took this boring shift, after all.

“You should meet Pepper,” he said firmly, “she’s an art freak too. She’d love to have someone to gossip with it about. Gotta admit, it goes right over my head, but I’m sure I’d love whatever you drew anyway.”

Steve smiled and looked down, adorably bashful. God, it was slightly concerning how fast Tony was swooning over that. “I’d like that,” he murmured, “you- y’know, seeing it. If you want.”

Tony smiled, his heart ratcheting up a few beats. That was definitely an opening. That right there was definitely an opening, and Tony needed to take that, right now-

At that moment, a car rounded the corner revving loudly, and way over the speed limit.

Of fucking course.

Steve jerked his head up, and then a second later he was stumbling onto his bike, ramming the helmet onto his head. “Sorry, gotta go!” He yelled, before kicking off the brake and turning onto the road after him, lights flashing.

Tony watched him, bemused as he rode off after the poor speeder. Well- that had been a very abrupt ending to what had almost been a date. He huffed in annoyance and kicked a rock that was too near to his foot. It didn’t really help vent his frustrations much.

With a small sigh, Tony checked his watch. 6am. He’d been talking to Steve for two hours, again. And he still hadn’t ballsed up and just asked the guy on a goddamn date.

“Next time,” he hissed to himself, sliding back into his car and pouting at his reflection in the mirror. “Next time, Stark, you hear?”

Steve hadn’t shown up the next day when Tony drove down.

Obviously, it hadn’t been guaranteed that he would. But Tony had been sort of expecting to be able to ask him, and so he’d stayed up all night preparing, and then when no Steve had appeared, he could admit he’d been a little disappointed.

But no matter, Tony thought as he drove home at seven that morning, rubbing his eyes tiredly. There was always tomorrow.

So he went home. Didn’t get more than an hour’s sleep, mind you- too busy working on projects and thinking about how best to ask Steve for coffee in a way that didn’t sound ridiculous. It was surprisingly difficult. He just… he really didn’t want to mess this up before anything could even begin. He really liked Steve. Like… really liked him. It was weird. Tony didn’t usually feel this strongly toward people he had only met a handful of times. But there was just something about the guy- like Tony had said earlier, he didn’t take any of Tony’s bullshit. He was genuine. Kind. Funny, but in a way that you would easily miss if you didn’t look hard enough.

It had been less than a goddamn week, and Tony was smitten.

Fuck.

He sighed, knocking his head against the desk and shutting his eyes. He could feel a headache forming behind his eyes from the lack of sleep, and he could barely focus on any of the work in front of him. Pepper would probably kill him when she next saw him. That was, if he didn’t die of blue balls first.

“May I point out that it has been 68 hours since your last proper rest, and in that period of time you have yet to consume a product that is not coffee or Twinkies, Sir,” his AI spoke up above him, his voice calmly exasperated. Like he always did, Tony felt himself taken back to his childhood; to the real Jarvis, who’d taken exactly the same tone with him when he’d been pulling shit like this back then. It brought a wave of soothing fondness over him and he smiled against the tabletop, pushing himself back up.

“Coffee and Twinkies have all the nutrients my body requires, J.”

“I’m afraid to tell you that you are absolutely incorrect.”

“You don’t know my body, JARV- I am a temple of health, of knowledge-“

“With your best interests at heart, Sir, I must say your body is more akin to a wasting pile of garbage than a temple of health right now.”

Tony stopped, and then shot off a dirty look to the security camera. “You are the worst, most unsupportive Robot ever.”

“Merely trying to keep you alive, sir,” JARVIS replied primly, and Tony just huffed, rolling his eyes. He was being bullied by his own AI- this was really what his life had come to. Being called a pile of human garbage by your own supercomputer. This really was a new low.

He leaned back and stretched like a cat, feeling the vertebrae pop in his spine. He’d been hunched over the desk for far too long, he needed to get out. Go for another spin or something- maybe just drive by the road Steve worked on, just to check. Plus he’d tweaked the engine a tad whilst he’d been sulking, and so he might have even shaved off a little bit of the pretty much non-existent lag. Had to test that out, right?

“Okay, I’m going out,” Tony declared to the empty room, getting to his feet clumsily and grabbing his keys from the desk, “don’t wait up, JARV.”

“Sir, are you really sure that it is a good idea for you to be in control of the wheel right now?” JARVIS asked him in exasperation. “You run the risk of falling asleep on the road-“

“I have never in my life fallen asleep behind the wheel,” Tony held up a finger pointedly, “except from one time, and it was barely even a car. It was a dodgem, and I was slightly intoxicated at a fair-“

“-Heavily inebriated at a children’s party, you mean?”

Tony glared. “You are the worst. I told you not to mention that day. And it wasn’t a children’s…” He shook his head and turned on his heel. “You know what, never mind. I do not have time for this. I need to leave and find the official love of my life, Officer Steve Rogers.” He lifted his chin haughtily and stalked out of the workshop, keys clutched in his hand. If JARVIS could have rolled his eyes, Tony knew he would’ve. It was the reason he hadn’t built a body for the asshole- he wasn’t sure he could bear that level of sarcasm thrown his way on a daily basis.

Jumping up the steps two at a time, he checked out his appearance in the reflective chrome surface and pulled a face. He could probably do with brushing his hair. And putting on socks.

Ah, well. He was sure Steve wouldn’t mind, right?

He jumped into the car without a second thought, rubbing his eyes and then slapping his cheeks a few time. He had to be on top form if he wanted to woo Steve. Steve deserved a quality wooing.

Fuck, he was tired.

He shook his head and tried not to think about how it probably wasn’t a good idea to try seducing a cop whilst severely sleep deprived. He was Tony Stark- he could totally seduce a cop whilst sleep deprived. It would be fine. And Steve liked him- Tony was pretty much sure of it. It’d be a piece of cake.

Without a second thought, he put the keys in ignition and then revved the engine, pulling out of his drive and into the night.

He’d been driving for ten minutes, and he could already feel his eyelids start to droop.

Whoops.

Sighing heavily, he turned on the overhead lights and put the music on blast in an attempt to attack his senses enough to keep him conscious. But when that failed to help, he admitted defeat and pulled over with a loud groan.

Great. Now he was going to miss Steve, again.

He was still a mile or so away from where Steve was usually stationed. Tony would miss him; too busy napping on the side of the damn road. Maybe JARVIS had been right thirty hours ago, when he’d suggested Tony got some rest. Sure was coming to bite him in the ass now.

Well. He was here now- he might as well get in a small amount of rest before the sun rose.

Leaning forward, he braced his forearms over the wheel and then sunk his head into the crook of them, letting his heavy eyelids droop and shut completely. The overly loud rock music was nothing more than background noise in his ears, and he could already feel the first pull of sleep begin to wrap itself around his mind-

“Sir, are you oka- wait, Tony?”

Jerking upright rapidly at the sound of that familiar deep voice, he blinked in surprise and turned his head to the window. Above him, Officer Steve Rogers was leaning over the car in concern and surprise, staring at Tony as if he’d just grown a second head. “What the hell are you doing at the side of the road playing Bohemian Rhapsody loud enough to wake the dead?” He asked incredulously.

Tony zoned back in to the sound of echoing voices all screaming ‘Galileo!’ obnoxiously loudly. He blinked again. “Oh.”

“Tony?” Steve sounded concerned now. “Are you okay?”

“Mm,” Tony nodded his head and rubbed his eyes, hand fumbling for the volume and turning down the classic but also slightly grating music. “Sorry. I was just… catching some sleep. Tired.”

Steve shook his head. “Why were you out at this time driving if you’re so…” he broke off and then widened his eyes, cocking his head. “Were you coming out to see me?” He asked.

Tony sighed, leaning back and smiling. “I was going to woo you with my seductive charm,” he said, the words jumbling into one another in their haste. “You know how it is. I’m Tony Stark- I don’t need sleep. But you didn’t show up yesterday. I didn’t go to sleep, I was too busy plotting. And then… it’s been 70 hours? Ish? I’m kinda tired.”

Steve paused, trying to process the stilted and pretty much nonsensical words that fell from Tony’s mouth. Then the tiniest, most tentative smile began to crawl over his face. It was lovely. “You were trying to woo me?” He asked slowly.

Tony just nodded. He was too tired to think of any other bullshit. “With my seductive charm,” he clarified.

Steve didn’t say anything for a moment- but then he laughed. A surprised little snort that sounded absolutely wonderful. “You’re mad,” he said with a shake of his head. “You’re absolutely… so what? You haven’t slept for three days because you kept trying to catch me?”

“Pretty much?”

“Oh God.” Steve held his head in his hands and chuckled, head still shaking back and forth. Tony was unsure of the signals he was receiving here- was Steve happy or despairing?”

“I’d say a little bit of both,” Steve told him, and oh- Tony must have been talking out loud. “Tony Stark, you are… absolutely ridiculous. Do you know how stupid that was? Driving whilst sleep deprived is completely idiotic. You could easily have fallen asleep at the wheel, and no amount of Freddie Mercury would’ve helped that.” He sighed, and then stepped back, hand going for the handle of Tony’s door. “I’m going to have to ask you to exist the vehicle, sir,”

Uh oh. That never boded well. Tony looked up at him in concern, trying to discern whether or not Steve was frowning or smiling. “Uhhhh- why?” He asked curiously.

Steve folded his arms, pulling open the door and then gesturing Tony out of it. “Just get out of the damn car, Tony,” he said through a fond sigh. His eyes were twinkling under the half-light of dawn again, and Tony thought about how beautiful he looked. God, Steve could do so much better than some shitty nightshift on a road no one even gave a fuck about. He should be a model. Or- or an artist. Tony hadn’t seen any of his stuff, but he bet that he was good. He had the hands for it. And the temperament. Yeah- he’d make a call to Pepper, have her introduced to Steve, and then he’d see what they could-

“Tony?” Steve asked, waving a hand in front of Tony’s face, and he jerked a little in surprise, coming back to the present.

“Right,” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Out the car. Got it.”

With a small stumble, he slipped off the black leather seats and then stood upright, straightening out his collar self-consciously as he did so. Steve looked at him as if he were holding back a smile, and then he took Tony by the arm with gentle fingers. His touch was warm, skin soft. “Come on,” he said slowly, beginning to pull Tony around the hood of the car.

Tony frowned, looking up at Steve in confusion. “Where are we going?” He asked, searching around them for a sign. Steve just shook his head and turned his head again, trying to hide the smile that Tony knew was on his face.

Well. At least he was making the guy laugh, he supposed.

Steve walked them around to the other side of the car, and then opened the door of the shotgun seat, one hand still around Tony’s bicep. He made a gesture, and then soft hands moved from his arm to his head, pushing down gently. “In you go,” he said in amusement, and Tony obeyed, ducking under the roof of the car and then plopping clumsily into the passenger seat. Steve shut the door with a soft click and then straightened up, walking back around the hood until he got to the driver’s seat. Without hesitation, he slipped in and put his hands on the wheel before turning to Tony. “I’m taking you home,” he said with a smile. “Any arguments will be considered an obstruction of Justice and I will arrest you.”

Tony blinked at him as Steve stared, completely serious except for the twinkle in his lovely blue eyes. Eventually, Tony just grinned, leaning forward against the dash and winking. “Only if you cuff me first.”

At that, a wonderful pink blush crawled up the side of Steve’s face, and his hands spasmed against the steering wheel. “Careful what you wish for, Stark,” he muttered, before pressing a foot down on the accelerate and then pulling out onto the road. His eyes widened in surprise, and he whistled under his breath. “Oh, wow,” he looked at the dashboard, awed, “this thing has a hell’uva kick.”

Tony smiled, turning his body so that he was facing Steve on the seat. “That’s what it is,” he clicked his fingers clumsily. “Brooklyn. I fucking knew it was Brooklyn.”

When Steve turned to him, Tony waved a hand at Steve’s face. “Your accent,” he mumbled in response, “it’s a Brooklyn accent. I’ve been trying to discern it ever since I met you.”

Steve laughed again, and Tony felt the car speed up a little more on the road. He glanced at the dash- any faster, and it was going to be Steve who was breaking the limit, which sure would be fucking ironic. “Why didn’t you just ask?”

“Well, that’d be no fun, would it?”

Steve shook his head again, and when he glanced over to Tony, his gaze was remarkably soft. He opened his mouth a fraction, words on the tip of his tongue- but nothing was said. Steve closed his mouth again, simply sighing. “You can nap in the car if you want,” he said, “in fact, I recommend it.”

Tony didn’t want to. He wanted to look at Officer Steve Rogers for as long as physically possible. “’M’Good,” he said, hitching his legs up and then resting them on the dash- or at least, until Steve leaned over and slapped them off. Tony glared at him as the man just looked out onto the road and hid another smile. “You do realise this is my car, right?”

“Your very expensive car. Anyway, I’m driver for the night. Shotguns have no authority over car control.”

“That’s complete bullshit.”

“Check the highway code, I learned that at Police Academy.”

Tony spluttered. “I’m pretty sure they don’t teach that at Police Academy, Steve.”

“Out of the two of us, which one has been to Police Academy?” Steve challenged with a raised eyebrow, before nodding resolutely when Tony said nothing. “See. Your silence means I’m right.”

Tony just rolled his eyes and flicked Steve behind the ear. His heart felt warm and full. It was an unusual feeling- then again, Steve was an unusual person. An anomalous. Tony didn’t know why he had the effect he did on Tony, but whatever the reason, Tony was falling for it. Hard. Steve was… great.

Despite his best efforts, he must have drifted off sometime during the ride, because the next time he opened his eyes, Steve was in the process of getting out of the car and walking over to Tony’s side. Once more, dawn was just beginning to throw some light on the world, and the milky light made Steve’s face glow like an angel’s. Tony could look at him all day. He watched all the way as Steve moved over to him, and when he opened Tony’s door, he smiled.

“Home sweet home,” Steve said. “Come on. Let’s get you inside.”

Tony unbuckled once more and stumbled out of the car with all the grace of what he could only really describe as a demented seal. Steve didn’t seem to mind though- he was still smiling. Tony would take that as a win. And of course; when Steve wrapped his hand tentatively around Tony’s waist and pulled him a little closer in order to ‘help him get inside’, Tony decided that yes, his wooing had definitely worked.

Leaning in further to Steve’s warm side, Tony felt his eyes begin to droop once more. He really was exhausted. And Steve was comfy. Like a big, muscly pillow. Tony would definitely like to fall asleep on Steve at some point. Hopefully soon.

He heard JARVIS greeting them quietly as they walked in, and quickly explained the basics of him to Steve before he could freak out about it. Steve seemed thoroughly impressed by it, and his hand squeezed against Tony’s side. Tony got the feeling that Steve was going to be very good for his ego.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been grateful for getting a speeding ticket before,” Tony mumbled against his shoulder, whilst trying to force his eyes to remain open.

He heard Steve’s laughter vibrating through his throat. “I don’t think I’ve ever been grateful for giving out a speeding ticket before,” he responded softly. “Now- I am just wandering aimlessly through your building right now, so you mind telling me where your room is?

Tony waved a vague hand, allowing JARVIS to take over and lead Steve toward his room on the other side of the mansion. As they walked through, Tony watched Steve’s fascinated gaze roam through every art piece that Pepper had made him put up on the walls. To him, they just looked like mismatched splotches of paint, but apparently to Steve they meant something else entirely, because the man seemed enthralled by them.

“You can have ‘em, if y’want,” Tony mumbled into his skin, looking up. “Prob’ly appreciate ‘em more than me.”

Steve spluttered, shaking his head. “Tony, these are way too expensive. They’re beautiful. They’re… true art. They might belong in your mansion, but they sure as hell don’t belong in my apartment.

Tony scoffed. “You’re beautiful art, and you’re living in your apartment. They’d fit right in.”

Steve froze for a moment, and then he guffawed loudly. He turned down to look at Tony with a huge smile and pink-coloured cheeks, and Tony wanted to kiss them so bad. “Wow. That was smooth, Stark.”

“See- totally got the wooing thing down. You just… throw me off sometimes.” Tony pouted, pushing his hair away from his eyes. “But I am totally cool. Really. Like, I’m talking a completely suave, professional dude. I can charm the pants of a rattlesnake, that’s me-“

“You just stayed awake for three days in order to try and ask me on a date,” Steve told him wryly. “I found you drooling over your steering wheel and playing Queen at 4 in the morning.”

Tony didn’t really have anything to say to that, so he settled for simply shoving Steve into the wall. Which, of course, failed- Steve was built like a brick. He actually ended up falling back himself, stumbling over his own feet at the momentum gained from trying to push Steve away. It was okay though, because before he could land on his ass, a quick pair of hands grabbed his waist and held him in place. Tony’s arms wrapped instinctively around Steve’s neck, and then suddenly they were almost nose to nose, Steve’s beautiful blue eyes staring intently at Tony’s own for a moment, before dropping helplessly down to his mouth.

Tony licked his lips, and then before he could even process it, Steve had spun them back upright and had Tony pinned against the wall, one hand braced above Tony’s head, and the other pressing down on his chest firmly. He was still looking at Tony’s mouth.

“Please can I kiss you?” Steve asked quietly, because of course Steve was the type of person to ask that sort of question in a situation like this. It wasn’t exactly like Tony could have been any more obvious, save for painting ‘I am nuts for Steve Rogers’ on his forehead- but apparently that wasn’t good enough for Mr. Morality over there.

“Go for it, Officer,” Tony said with a grin, and then before he could even take another breath, Steve’s mouth was on his, hot and heavy and absolutely delicious. Tony felt a big hand wrap around his neck, and his own fingers curled across Steve’s chest, felt all that glorious muscle under his digits, wow-

Steve made a low noise in the back of his throat and pressed Tony further into the wall. Tony breathed in sharply, tracing the seam of Steve’s lips with his tongue and then barely holding back a whine as Steve suddenly bent down and hefted him up into his arms, hands curled around Tony’s ass.

Oh wow.

It was only when Steve pushed Tony against the door and then fumbled it open that Tony realised they’d reached his room, and immediately his excitement rocketed. So, Steve counted this as third date, huh? Brilliant. Tony was absolutely, utterly down for that.

Steve walked them forward a few more steps, his mouth working against Tony’s own with boundless enthusiasm, and once he’d reached the centre of the room, he threw Tony on the bed as if he didn’t weigh a thing- and okay, yeah, this time Tony groaned. So fucking sue him, Steve was strong as shit-

He was rather surprised, of course, when instead of covering Tony’s body with his own, he yanked at the blanket at the bottom of Tony’s bed, and then placed that over Tony instead.

He stared at it for a moment, and then at Steve- breathing slightly heavily and with dark eyes, but a shit-eating grin on his face- and then it clicked.

“Oh you teasing bastard,” Tony hissed, starting to sit up- but Steve pushed him back down again, his hand firm against Tony’s shoulder. “I cannot believe- no, this is not allowed-“

“You need to sleep, Tony,” Steve told him through a smile, leaning closer as he whispered in Tony’s ear, “now get some, or I swear I will cuff you to the bed. And not even in the sexy way.”

Tony paused, before cocking an eyebrow and tucking his head against Steve’s cheek. “Darling, there is no way I will not find that at least a little bit sexy, come on.”

Steve just rolled his eyes. His hand was still running along Tony’s shoulder, and it was pretty soothing- and now that he was lying horizontally in his bed, he could admit that his eyes were beginning to get heavy again.

Dammit.

“I hate you,” Tony muttered, already feeling the pull of sleep begin just under his eyelids. “Hate you so much.”

Steve chuckled, hand moving to stroke though Tony’s hair, which was the worst decision, really, fuck, that just felt even better- “No you don’t,” he whispered, leaning over and then pressing a soft kiss to Tony’s forehead. “Get some sleep, Tony. Then we’ll talk, okay?”

Tony grumbled incoherently, pushing his head into Steve’s touch. His eyes shut of their own accord, and he savoured the feeling of hands in his hair whilst it lasted, because at this rate he knew he was going to be out any second- God, Steve was good, and he’d only known Tony for a handful of days, what the fuck-

“Goodnight, Tony,” Steve said softly, and that was the last thing that Tony got to hear before he clocked out entirely, drifting off into a well-needed sleep.

He woke up slowly, to sunlight streaming through the windows behind him.

His face was smushed into the pillow uncomfortably, and his hair covered his eyes. With a few blinks, he nudged it out of the way and then opened his eyes painfully, squinting against the brightness of the room.

He felt… strangely well-rested. Huh.

Sitting up slowly, he yawned and then palmed a hand over his face. It was a beautiful day outside, and he could see the bright blue waves crash into the beach down below him when he peered out of the window.

When he checked the clock on the bedside table, however, he had to do a double-take.

13:09. What in the fuck?

“JARVIS?” Tony asked incredulously, “have I just slept through the entire morning?”

“It appears so, sir,” His AI replied wryly, and Tony choked, because no way, that never happened. He was an early riser and late sleeper- he must have been absolutely exhausted for him to sleep for that long.

A second later, however, everything from last night came rushing back, and he gasped audibly into the empty room.

Steve. Steve had taken him home after he’d found him asleep by the side of the road. Steve had kissed him, Shit, Tony could remember how good that had felt. And then he’d been thrown on the bed and somehow bamboozled into falling asleep, though God knows how, not when Steve had been pressing up against him like that.

“Is he still here?” Tony got out of bed hurriedly, looking around the room as if expecting Steve to pop out from behind the curtains or something.

“I’m afraid he left a few minutes after you fell asleep, Sir,” JARVIS responded, and Tony stopped, sagging in the middle of the room. Oh. Right. “He did, however, leave something for you on the dressing table, if you would like to see it.”

Tony paused, and then turned to the piece of furniture on his left. Walking over to it, he looked around for something out of place, and found it pretty sharpish. He noticed, with a huff of surprised laughter, that it was the speeding ticket Steve had given him the first time they’d met. Tony had been keeping it on the dash of his car ever since, and Steve must have spotted it whilst he’d been driving Tony home.

Picking it up with two delicate fingers, he held it up to the light and then saw that there was writing on the back of it. He turned it around, and then felt his heart speed up at the sight of what could only be Steve’s phone number, sprawled out in pencil. Underneath it was a short note:

‘Sorry for leaving you hanging last night. Call me when you feel a little bit more alive- hell, I’ll probably go over the limit in order to get to you faster.

65 is a shit speed anyway. Especially with a car like that’

Tony burst out laughing. “JARVIS?” he asked into the room.

“Yes, sir?”

“Remind me to take Steve to a racetrack for our first date.”

AO3 // Donate to my ko-fi!

#itsallavengers writes #no power au #stevetony #commissions #this was actually great fun to write I loved it thank you so much for the commssion!

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