#i had no idea and now im sobbing

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob: #BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY. #THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM.. #grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM. #I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much... #GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE.. #i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

[skitskatdacat63]

And here is the bull himself >:)

+ lore notes

I was like, ah I should make the shadow something interesting, and then I'm like GIVE HIM BULL HORNS???? OKAY SURE !!!!! I'm glad such thoughts can strike at 7 in the morning....thanks brain. But hehehe I'm glad bcs now this matches up super well with the Nando one!

New ship dynamic: who's the bull and who's the matador :)

I think, in this AU, Fernando is generally pretty fond of Seb when he first meets him. Like "ah yes my very own protégé, very nice, I shall mold him in my image." But then Seb starts veering off that course. Bullfighting is all about being dramatic, but Seb maybe has a bit too much(🤏) flair for the dramatic. This escalation starts while he's still Fernando's assistant but he keeps it generally at bay. But god when he becomes a matador himself, he's just off the rails insane.

Bullfighting, to me, is a sport about reckless endangerment of one's self in the pursuit of drama and performance(its literally described as a tragedy in three acts.) But Fernando thinks Seb endangers himself *too* much, not because he cares or anything, but he's making a mockery of the sport!! Especially when Seb starts doing that bull hand symbol(seen above), Fernando just keeps become more enraged with him, not anything to do with the fact that Seb is threatening his records and threatening his own wellbeing, nah of course not.

Seb's gesture is making a mockery of the sport, he's disrespecting the culture, the very nature of it, blah blah blah. Jenson once asks Fernando, after noticing him seething while watching Seb do his gesture, "Which bull are you really trying to defeat?" One could also describe Fernando and Seb's relationship as a "tragedy with three acts."

Anyways Fernando gets very tied up with this rivalry. Even after suffering a severe injury(I have yet to decide, but y'know mchonda electrocution core), he quickly returns to the sport, loath to let Seb get any more headway. And then Seb gets injured, poor little sweet Seb, and neither of them can handle it. Though I already covered this in my prev lore post 🤭 and I think I put it pretty viscerally there so!! I digress.

They're both matadors, but the bull itself is not the only bull Fernando wants to conquer. Conquer as in death? Hm.

#i love matador au all my homies love matador au #<- its a lot of fun for me to draw and easy to have ref for :) so its like my little comfort drawings #even tho i want to sob every time i write any of the lore down bcs it is so </3 #ah i just like how visceral it is ig #f1 is a dangerous sport but bullfighting is just. such another level of maniacs 😭 #ive talked abt this a lot w cofi lmao its just super interesting to me. just the whole mentality and display and culture of it #also just: trajes de luces go brrrrrrr #ah one day ill draw both of them in green suits 🤭🤭 #i had a chibi art of this au i was working on bcs i didnt have mental energy for a full thing #or at least i THOUGHT so #ive had the refs for this since 2 wks and im like YOU WILL FINISH THIS bcs i rly liked the pose 😭 #so then i just drew for like 5 hours straight. yknow as one does #and wrote this post at uh. 8 am. normal time for one to be drawing and writing. as one does. #WELL ANYWAYS PLEASE ENJOY MATADOR SEB #this au grips me the throat 😭 i rly enjoy it 😭 #i have a lot of thoughts ab the au lore itself but also drawing these is very no thoughts head empty <3 #also god side note. pink stockinks. i hated the idea of them at first. but now im like hehe hot pink time 🥰🥰 #its crazy how it doesnt clash that much??? i thought it would ruin the outfit but ah they suit everything p well #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #catie.art. #matador au

[koravelliumavast]

Lifehack! Don’t do this. Unless you want to cry

#stormlight archive #cosmere #brandon sanderson #oathbringer spoilers #RENARIN AND JASNAH SCENE AT THE END IM SOBBING #she prepared to swing but then Renarin turned and looked at her tears streaming down his face he met her eyes and he nodded #suddenly they were young again he was a trembling child weeping on her shoulder for a father who didn’t seem to be able to feel love #little Renarin always so solemn always misunderstood laughed at and condemned by people who said similar things about Jasnah behind her back #Jasnah fell to her knees then pulled Renarin into an embrace. he broke down crying like he had as a boy burying his head in her shoulder #yeah ok I can see why that’s your favorite scene brandon #AND KALADIN NOT BEING ABLE TO SAY THE FOURTH IDEA #and Renarin thinking that dalinar was dead #and YOU CANNOT HAVE MY PAIN #and szeth and lift and nightblood #AND TEFT #AND ASH AND TALN #I’m sobbing right now

[demigod-of-the-agni]

"Spider-Man India: Tangled in Love" takes place during the events of "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse"; between the collapse of the Mumbattan Bridge, to when Pavitr re-appears at the end of the movie with Gwen. This short fan-film is simply a love story and revolves around the idea of Pavitr's dilemma about being with Gayatri since his being Spider-Man will put her at risk. Is this love worth fighting for in spite of all that?

rejoice, my fellow pavitr fanatics, for we will get the closest thing to a spider-man india spinoff film

it drops on 25/02 !!!!! support the creator!!! @\jibberjabber on instagram and youtube

#BABES I AM SHAKING AND SOBBING #HOWLING SCREAMING CLAWING AT THE WALLS #genuinely had no idea this project was in the works #and it's coming out in a few days!!!!!!!!!!! excuse me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW #OKAY but the fact that this short film is so similar to one of my first ever pavitr fics......... :))))))) <- is about to cry #genuinely going insane GOING INSANE GOING CRAZY IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THIS #pavitr prabhakar #gayatri singh #spider man india #spider man #atsv #across the spiderverse #mumbattan #fan film #short film #agnirambles

[the-sweater-lodge]

My headphones at 6AM in Boardbot HQ:

#toonblr #toontag #[ Cogs ] #[ Art ] #IM HENRY THE 8TH... I HAD SIX SORRY WIVES... #I am so sad that I cannot save the original tiktok I got this idea from to show under the cut. Sobbing emoji #Source: bro trust me #This painting is some time old but only now did I edit this. Months later still obsessed <-INSANE #When Holly was talking about positive corporate energy this is what she meant

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak #who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad #and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur #research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a #bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way #i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit #i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like #i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt #wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide #stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the #predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing #i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh. #i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just #send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel #ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart #ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run #this body into the ground. like the good old days. #unrelated

[nerosdayinanime]

ouug hugu h Youth(glass animals) making me think of sabito...

#fratboy sabito posting #every time i fucking hear it it sends me back to the sdv!sabi playlist vibes and the little snippets of ideas i have for his family #i think im gonna finally go with his mom had the purple eyes & fluffy hair while his dad had the rectangle pupils and pink hair #hes oldest w a younger brother & sister #fuck went looking for how some of the hashira parents looked like for hair style refs and instead got to the frame of foxtrio reincarnation #now im fucking sobbing ugly style #uu h h #o u h hggghu #huu ughhuuh #i lovb #il ob ve the mn #wsom uch #i need to calm down a moment #a uhh why am i feeling so strong abt it rn auhh #theyre so small and happy #AU U U HH [starts punching through the walls] #i had something coherent for this post originally its all gone now

[ssoupcup]

i need to do this when s3 ends as well. it feels like a pokemon evolution. when will she unlock her final form

#i really wish i had come up with this wsoup stuff earlier bc i actually could have done interesting stuff with it but alas. #i came up with it in december and the backstory?? that shit arrived in my head about 3 months ago #I realise now this is what I meant when I say I have everything planned out. its not s3 I have incredibly planned out. its the past/s2. #its not relevant now but like its just sitting in my head and I gotta convey it SOMEHOW #so im just making callbacks to it in lore to cover up the fact that i have NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING SOBS/half jokimg #ehh i have plans so itll be fine. for whom? i shan't say. #oh my god. i forgot the regulsr tags. #websmp #websoup #web smp #websmp lore #i am meaning to do a proper lore art piece soon. I dont stream or anytning so im just trying to figure out how to convey this lore in my #head without monologuing to a stream and its a STRUGGLE. which is why theres so many books ive gotta get it down somehow 😭😭 #if u have any ideas on how else to. PLEASE msg me i need help #also. speaking of writing. #I apologise in advcance. #for what I have done

[thatone-highlighter]

What songs have u been thinking of adding to strengths playlist :0 [and the others if u have any you’ve been thinking of for them] Also you could make a streatney+ playlist, just sayin

I have been creating a list of Set It Off songs to put in here, and this is on top of the ones ive already added. I am also just now realising that even tho i associate the band in general with Strength the distribution of songs does Not favour Strength much if at all.

Theres a few of the songs where its just the general vibe or just so much of the song works its hard to pick one section, but i went and grabbed some of my fav sections

Peekaboo; like i mean it LITERALLY says this what do you want from me

Why Not Me?; it feels alot like things a Strength vessel would say. I especially like the bit about „a little voice is shouting get up“

Catch A Break; i mean isnt that such a Witney concept, shes put thru so much bullshit after bullshit and everyone is So mean to her Constantly. And „same tragedy different day“ thinking about Witney,,,, hhnnnggg

Playing With Bad Luck; a very similar idea to Catch A Break because the guy is literally the whole time just talking about how all this bad stuff keeps happening but hes done nothing to deserve any of it, which again, yeah. Man thinking about Witney makes me Feral

Unopened Windows; honestly a streartney song to me but i feel like Witney would be the most nostalgic about it like this. Like hes def the one to look back at it like what-could-have-been the most

Who‘s In Control?; it especially makes me think of Anne at her peak blaming herself for Heart and all that, like „living in fear living afraid/hysterical every day“ TELL me that doesnt remind u of Heart and Anne in ibybf

Me W/O You; it feels vaugely manipulative and vaugely genuine in a way i can only compare to Heart. Plus the whole „theres no me without us“ over-reliance and codependence feels very Heart as well

And i didnt add a part of the song because i cant EXPLAIN it but. Dancing With The Devil in my head just makes me think of Streart. imagining it as like the two of them alternating screaming the lines at eachother, they both see eachother as the counterpart in the song. And this song also lead me to for some reason learning how to draw partner dancing Just so i could draw streart partner dancing and then also went a bit insane about who would be lead dw about it

#i dont know wjat to SAY to you about DWTD it just IS okay i thought it by accident and then Went Insane #maybe in the back of my head i was thinking about sashanne knife dance who knows #its like. a very violent but beautiful dance i think they would have #ANYWAYS SOBBING OVER WITNEY DONT TOUCH ME #admit it and taste of the good life. same sorta idea as liar and no disrepsect thats already on its playlist #i didnt include a ss of it because its the whole thibg but BETTER THAN THIS HEARTNEY REAL PLEASE #i have developed a version of the heartney dynamic in my head that im terrified to talk about because im scared i misinterpreted or am wrong #but yeah better than this is So hearts side to me. them lovibg her but being terrified they didbit wrong and scared her off before they coul #before they could fix it. mmmmmmm tasty mmmm munchy #and ohhh myyy fucking helllllll Different Songs. im feral about that song real #the lyrics r all about like they lived eachother they still live eachother but can they fix it/get along now theyre all so different #none of them are the same people they were the first time round can they even still make it work? #hnnnngggggg insane feral why do these ppl make so so FERAL HHNNNGGGGG eating biting ripping to shreads w/ my teeth rn maiming killing biting #also when i went to find that list i had put anti-hero by taylor swift beneath it and labeled it heart ???? #i have not listened to antihero enough to make an educated call on that one but sure okay #Tree Man Posts #asks #wjh #strength #witney #heart #gem playlists #is that a tag i have?? What?? sure

[marciego]

hi what the FUCK. would yall believe me if i told you there are tears running down my face rn

#LIKE #i can't even begin to describe this feeling #like! oversharing time but! #the last time i waited for new violetta content i was in middle school struggling and going through hell #and violetta was one of the things helping me keep my shit somewhat together #it brought me so much comfort despite everything #and now im in my last year of uni and honestly this shit is (vague hand gesture) #like reading the news made me feel such a rush of emotions i had no idea i had in me #im sobbing my eyes out i can't BELIEVE this

[garoujo]

constantly torn between playing genshin or writing on my lil hours break at work ;;;_;;; !

#ʚ・◞📎 — em entry. #I WANNA DO BOTH ! #like i do hav some v good nagi / rin ideas & sum bllk hcs i wanna work on #also emmie is currently 50% blind cause there was a rip in my contact sob .. i had 2 take it out n im not smart enough 2 bring more #or my glasses ! #snifle maybe i’ll write the nagi thirst or kind of map it out b4 i play genshin #i wanna write bassist shuji now tht anon brought him up .. & i have another shuji thirst 2 finish 2 #SO MANY IDEAS <3

[skitskatdacat63]

catie hello :))) roman empire seb nando au?? saw the sketch you made during suzuka & would love to hear your thoughts!! <3

Aaaah Claire hello!!!! I think you're talking about this one, right?

I joked in the tags "Hadrian and Antonius who?????"so I guess that would be the basis??? Seb is a favorite lover of Fernando's and when he dies, Fernando deifies him 😥

This Seb is obv from a different au, but this would be how I'd vizualize them:

#GODDDDDDD ALTERNATE UNIVERSE - AGE CHANGE #could you imagine Aston Fernando with Toro Rosso Seb?????????? 🫠 #but Fernando would be like an older emperor whos very settled in his rule #and then this little twink comes out of nowhere and he falls for him #and then seb dies(retires) and fernando misses him so much AAAGGHHHH #sorry idk if you intended this ask to be made angsty but now it is :) #im just so obsessed with how fernando acted during the last few months of seb's career #hes used to this common presence in his life and he doesnt think too deeply about it #in au: hes had many lovers. how could this one be any different? #but then when its taken from him. thats the moment when he realizes just how important it was #in this au younger seb would revitalize him ig!! #hes a young senator and fernando sees himself in him #and wants to take care of him and treat him like he never was sob sob sob #anyways uh yeah yes those are my thoughts :) i am too tragic today #sorry i domt know why i always put all my deepest ideas and thoughts in the tags ajdkkf #catie.asks. #catie.rambling.txt #vettonso

[cherriesandcharms]

.

#I'm sick and exhausted so pls excuse the sad posting #but grief is so fucking weird and near impossible to make sense of #im sobbing at 10:30pm bc tiktok showed me a clip of yellowstone #and i burst into tears thinking about how dad will never see how it ends #the worst part is this has happend twice now with different shows #the first time was i saw an ad for Picard #the most innocuous shit causes the biggest breakdowns atm #and i can guard against the obvious stuff so its not as bad #but some things come out of nowhere #associations i had no idea my brain had even made #like how am i meant to prepare for crying in public all bc i saw a man whose mustache looked similar to dads #(this man was at least 20 years older than dad and a different ethnicity #but my brain made the connection before i was even aware i had seen him) #its so bizarre and incredibly painful

[yawn-emoji]

#who i was march 24 2022 and who i am now are completely different people. i remember crying in caffe reggio to zay sun and adiba because #my dad was in the hospital and we didnt know why and we werent even there to support him and my mom because we had travelled to nyc that #morning. and the whole trip was overshadowed by this sense of grief and fear and horror at what was unfolding back at home while i was #trying to pretend everything was okay and that i was fine. i never cry in public but i cried on the q train while visiting my coworker who #lives in manhattan and then i sobbed in a xi’an famous foods location in manhattan w my brothers because the cheapest and earliest train #home was that night and i had no idea what to do w myself #and when we got home finally we all knew what the diagnosis was but nobody wanted to say it not even the doctors. i dont think anyone used #the actual word cancer to us for months. they cloaked it in such technical terms so as to make it easier to swallow but it was still like. #an elephant in the room yk? nobody told us the stage either but it was a stage iv glioblastoma and i remember going on r/glioblastoma and #just crying reading all the posts abt how difficult this disease is. most projections were six months to a year and a half. a lot of people #even chose not to get treatment because of the high probability that it would make no difference to the prognosis. i have no idea whether we #made the right choice going w chemo or not honestly. only time will tell i guess. inshaAllah this will prove to have been the right choice #idk what im even trying to say now. i just dont reflect a lot on where i was when this started because it’s… almost too painful. i have #given up so much for my dad at this point and i still feel like it’s not enough but also i’ve been trapped by this sickness and i’ve given #up my life to it and idk how to rebuild myself from here. i need to move on w my life but what if these are the last moments w him and i #take those for granted by not staying home to take care of him and spend time w him. again idk what im trying to say here i just have no #idea how we got to this place. it still feels like some insane fever dream that i will suddenly awaken from #seeing pictures of my dad even from 2021 is the hardest thing. i have no idea what happened to that bright funny charismatic loving man. he #is literally a shell of himself at this point and i hate it. it actually turns my stomach sometimes because it all is so wrong #none of this was supposed to happen he was supposed to retire peacefully somewhere tropical in a couple years not get diagnosed w cancer #journal #illness tw

[izzy-b-hands]

Had a minor breakdown over Family Feelings and my grandparents selling their house

Have rediscovered David Bowie's song 'Cactus' (u should go listen to it. Yes, u.)

...these two things combined mean I now somehow have an idea for an Ed/Izzy fill for the 'Epistolary' prompt coming up but also. also. I would sound insane trying to explain it bc idk if i can imply the emotions well enough thru letters between two emotionally backed up ppl and god. if I can't do this idea justice then i feel like i cant do anything else for that prompt. like if i could do it WELL it would be so fucking good. It would also be a continuation of the music/band au from earlier in the month and like i just !!!!!!

i didn't sleep till 4 am thinking this over and now im AWAKE and should WRITE IT but what if i FUCK IT UP

Im fine

#text post #im going to be fine ofc but #in the meantime i am again Emotions Georg who is experiencing Too Many Emotions at one time #like literally got up to shower was mumbling aloud to myself abt the story idea and trying to communicate thru text #when the base emotion of one sort of love or another is still there but it's been buried #by the other emotions that come with the complexities of keeping up any relationship romantic or not #and immediately my brain was like 'oh like u not processing how ur grandparents house was one of the only places that ever felt like Home #and now it's gone and you barely had one last time in it' #and spent an hour sobbing on the bathroom floor before i even got in the fkn shower lmao #interspersed with moments of 'oh but i can take this emotion and shove it away via Ed and Izzy in this fic: #like i can great sure but it would have been nice to do it sans breakdown lol #anyway apologies to anyone who asks to talk to me abt this fic idea today bc i will b v excited if u do #and will lose my entire shit talking abt it like a happy dog knocking over stuff with their wagging tail ansndmfnfjf

[todayisafridaynight]

i know i’m not normal about daigo and mine but then i reread the RGGO stories and i somehow become even more deranged

#snap chats #im rereading the bar one because i wanted to make a joke and i was just rechecking the stuff and w/e #and now im just rereading it and...... *gross sobbing* #god i wanna write a fic with them so bad but i dont have any ideas #my usual medium's comics This We Know but UGH sometimes i dont wanna draw but then i do but then i dont but #my remedy of course would be to just write the thing first and draw second- or maybe inverse it.. idk ive had this issue for years now loool #anyways Point Is i need to see more of them #cmon RGG yall can drop another online story with them it'll be fun and cute i promise #you can somehow inject aspects of RGGO into YK3 if that ever happens it'll be fun #ok back to reading and drawing- or more realistically staring at the wall and thinking