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mareebird · 3 years

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Santa’s Little Helper

It’s my Christmas fic, y’all.

Not relic universe.

TITLE: Santa’s Little Helper

Summary: Loki wrangles Thor into playing Santa at the mall. Family feels are had. It’s sacherine and fluffy.

Wordcount: 2400 (because it’s Dec. 24...)

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In retrospect, it had been the enormous cinnamon roll’s fault.

Loki was half-way through his snack, and half-way to regret over purchasing it in the first place, when he saw the long queue of children waiting to meet the mall Santa.

He was determined to finish the roll, of course, as sickeningly sweet as it was—much like Christmas in general, but Loki rather surprisingly enjoyed that part. Thor had promised to split the dessert with him, but his promise had been empty. One bite and he was satisfied. He had never shared Loki’s love of sweets.

And, well, Thor had put on a lot of sympathy weight since Loki’s last visit.

But part of the problem was that Thor was laden with bags upon bags of Christmas presents. He was responsible for all of the shopping this year. Jane was in no condition to help and Thor was taking his duties very seriously, as he always did. He refused to let Loki vanish anything away, even for the sake of freeing his arms.

So in order for him to share the roll, Loki would have to feed him by hand. And that was not going to happen.

Oh well. More Cinnabon for me, thought Loki. That was before the nausea set in.

But the line of children had spilled out of Santa’s Workshop and was now circling around a fountain and trailing all the way toward the entrance of Bloomingdales. Loki frowned and tilted his head. Thor must have thought he was actually looking at Bloomingdales, because he gestured and mentioned something about buying yet another gift for Jane.

“That line is far too long,” said Loki. “It’s deplorable.”

“Huh?”

“Children should not be made to wait that long to see the Santa.”

“The Santa?”

Loki began tapping his foot on the floor. He tapped his fork against the side of the roll, as well, before stuffing another mouthful of what was mostly icing between his teeth. It tasted like pure childhood. The amount of sugar was beginning to make him vibrate.

“That line must be hours long. The children look as though they are being tortured. Visiting the Santa should be fun. It should be a happy memory.”

“First of all, it’s just Santa. Not The Santa.”

Loki did not care for the correction. It failed to embarrass him, but Thor had been in a very agitated mood as of late, and it was grating on everyone else. Jane had all but begged Loki to take him off her hands for a few hours. He was constantly overwhelmed, constantly worried, and though he had every reason, even Loki thought he might be overdoing it a bit, and that said something.

Then again, the pressure was not on Loki. He was only going to be an Uncle. Jane was due with his nephew any day now.

“They wait in lines like that every year," Thor went on. "You’ve never been to the mall at Christmas before. How do you even know what meeting Santa is?”

Loki shrugged. Context clues. Never mind the fact that the modern-day Midgardian Santa was heavily influenced by Woden, a Germanic interpretation of Odin…

Loki liked Santa far better. A jolly old man who adored children of every race and creed? It was a vast improvement, in his personal opinion.

He sighed.

But Thor was right, Loki had never been to the mall at Christmas. He did spend a good amount of time on Earth these days, paying visits to his brother and Jane that probably out-stretched his welcome, but this was his first visit to encompass a major Midgardian holiday. Loki had quickly decided that Christmas was a good thing and all his favorite parts were the ones that celebrated the happiness of children.

Surprise surprise.

Children made to wait for hours? Loki did not care for that. “I think something’s gone wrong.”

“Wrong?”

Loki pointed with his fork. “See those gnomes? They appear to be discussing grave matters.”

“Gnomes? You mean, elves?”

Elves? Hm. Loki had a very different concept of what elven peoples looked like.

One of the elves was on the telephone. The others were milling about with furrowed brows, wringing their hands. They looked like lunatics, and sounded like them, too, with jiggling bells sewn into their clothes, but it still plucked a minor chord in Loki’s heartstrings. Perhaps his sugar rush was already crashing.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Brother,” sighed Thor. “The line is long because everyone wants to meet Santa. He’s very popular—Loki, where are you going?”

Loki was going to find out what had gone wrong, that was where he was going. If this holiday was about bringing children joy then, by the Norns, he was going to see to it that it did not bring them tears instead.

He stuffed the remainder of his cinnamon roll into his mouth and discarded the evidence in a trash can.

“Excuse me, is something the matter?” he addressed one of the fretful employees, a teenage girl who looked as though she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. From behind, he could hear Thor running to catch up.

“I'm sorry. Santa’s been...detained,” she said, maintaining meager poise in her polite reply. “We’re gonna close the workshop. Can you come back tomorrow…? Oh my god, you’re Loki.”

“What do you mean detained?” Loki ignored the girl’s shock at seeing him. It was a typical reaction, even if he was on better footing with the humans these days. PR was everything. Having an Avenger for a brother helped. But that wasn't important right now. Loki distinctly remembered seeing Santa when he and Thor first arrived, seated upon his Christmas throne, taking photographs with the children. So where was he now?

"He left for lunch and we haven't heard from him… Oh my god, you’re Loki. And Thor!” gasped the second elf. The bells on her pointed hat rung with her surprise.

“Yes, yes...” Loki sighed. Thor laughed with Santa-like jocularity. In the spirit of Christmas, Loki refrained from jabbing him in the ribs.

The third elf had been on the telephone this whole time: an ancient, tan device with a curly cord—how it was able to contact anyone was beyond Loki. Abruptly, she hung up. “I got a hold of him.”

“Where is he?” the other elves asked at once.

“The hospital."

"What?!"

"His son was in a car accident… Oh my god, it’s Loki and Thor.”

Of course, Loki had always known the man dressed as Santa was an actor, but hearing about something so grizzly was jarring. The trio of elves flew into a flurry over the news. The son was hurt, but not seriously. His father needed to mind the grandchildren until someone else could step in. Everything would be fine. The only tragedy was that he could not return to the mall until later that night.

They needed to shut down the Workshop for the rest of the afternoon.

“Would you like the two of us to step in?” asked Loki.

The elves might as well have been smacked upside the head, the way they suddenly lost their balance.

Thor made a sound as though he had choked. “What?” Suddenly, his hand was around Loki's elbow. "That enormous Cinnabon went straight to your head. Are you crazy?"

"That's irrelevant."

"Jane is expecting me home."

"No, she's not," protested Loki. "She kicked you out so you would stop driving her mad with your incessant fawning—"

Thor winced. Loki shut up. He felt a bit bad about pointing out just how annoyingly intense Thor's caregiving had been as of late, but it was the damned truth, although he could hardly blame Thor.

"These gnomes need our help," Loki pressed on. The sugar would power him through. "Are you not sworn to protect this realm?"

Thor rolled his eyes. Loki scowled. How could Thor not understand? It was of the utmost importance that they not send these children away.

"Please."

Thor blinked at him. Slowly. “You really want to play Santa, Loki?”

Loki haughed. "Oh no. Don’t be silly. You’ll have to play Santa. I'm just your agent.”

Thor looked down at himself, frowning, half-dazed. “I admit, I’m not in the best shape of my life, but playing Santa—”

Loki waved a hand. They did not have time for Thor to be ridiculous. “I’ll have to disguise you. Obviously.”

“Wait a minute. You’re the one who actually wants to…” Thor stopped himself, looked around, and lowered his voice. “You’re the one who came up with this idea. You be Santa.”

“Do you want to go back and forth on this? I could never play a believable Santa, even in costume. It’s not my type. It’s laughable. Are you going to do this for the children or not?”

Loki knew he was manipulating his brother, but only the slightest bit, because he also knew that even if Thor began to walk away, he would only turn around and march straight back. He was Thor to a fault.

Slowly, Thor placed his bags on the floor. Loki vanished them away before he could even begin to change his mind.

"I'm not… as good with children as you are…" Thor muttered. He met Loki's eye.

"You'll be fine. I promise."

"Will I, though?"

Loki's breath caught, as he realized Thor might not be asking about the children in the queue.

One of the elves jumped up and down and clapped, unaware of the silent exchange. “Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening.”

Loki’s heart broke just the slightest bit for his brother, but there was no time to have a family chat now. Loki cast a spell over Thor. With a sound like the wind, his clothing filled out and became bright red, a far more brilliant hue than the standard mall costume. Loki much preferred the older depictions of Santa he had seen on Christmas cards, as far as fashion went. He finished off with a long red coat and buttons trimmed to look like cookie icing, and the hat was a proper nisse cap.

“I’m going to sweat to death in this,” said Thor. Loki had kept his face the same beneath it all, but one could hardly tell beneath the long, white beard that extended all the way to his lap.

“You’ll be fine. Think of it as losing your sympathy weight.”

Thor shot him a tiny glare. “And what are you going to wear?”

Loki hardly had to think before changing into a sharply tailored, velvet, forest green suit, complete with a silk waistcoat.

“You look like a butler,” said Thor, wrinkling his nose.

“This is proper attire for one of Santa's handlers. No offence.” Loki glanced at the elves and, with a shrug, gave himself a pair of pointed ears. Thor rolled his eyes, but Loki did not pay him any mind. He was too busy pushing Thor toward his throne in the Workshop—although why a workshop needed a throne was beyond him. “All you need to do is make this a magical and perfect experience for each child.”

“Piece of cake,” Thor said dryly, or at least, he sounded as though he had said something like that. It was possible that parts of Loki's cinnamon roll had lodged themselves in his brain, never to leave.

A roar of clapping and cheers erupted from the exhausted crowd in the queue. "Your Santa is here!" Loki shouted above it all, and the cheering only grew louder.

Thor waved. Then, he slowly began to grin. Loki had do doubt that his brother would do an excellent job, with his help. This would be a learning experience. Thor was right, Loki was better with children, probably because at heart, he still was one—even if his heart was a bit crusty around the edges. Christmas was an excuse to shed all of that.

A little girl was at the front of the line. Loki could hardly fathom how long she'd been waiting. He met her at the gate and took her by the hand.

"I'm ever so sorry for the wait. I'm...Charles...the North Pole butler. What's your name?" He asked, while one of the mall elves guided her parents to the side of the Workshop.

"Violet," she said, in a sweet, chipmunk-like voice. She was wearing a dress the color of plums. She could not have been more than four years old.

"Oh, that's right! I remember now. Hello, Violet. Are you having a nice day?"

She nodded.

"Excellent! Santa will be so happy to hear that." Loki guided her to Thor, who still looked more nervous than Loki had hoped. He really did need more practice with children before his own arrived. "Mr. Claus, this is Violet. Remember her? She wore such a lovely dress."

"Yes. And...the color matches her name!" Thor's face lit up, no doubt pleased with himself for making the connection.

The three of them chatted for a minute or so—not for too long, because there were dozens and dozens of children to see. Violet asked for a playhouse for her yard. Photos were taken. Candy canes were passed out. Loki was satisfied. No, not merely satisfied, but genuinely contented, which was a Christmas miracle of its own.

He moved to meet the next child at the gate. Thor pulled him back by the hem of his sleeve. "How are you so good at this?"

Loki thought for a moment. A few memories stirred in his heart, some of them happy, some of them sad; feelings he did not know how to explain. In the end, he shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure. I just make it up as I go."

"That's how you do everything," said Thor. Loki laughed. Thor's eyelids fluttered and his eyes glistened behind them, pleading for something a bit more meaningful than a joke. For reassurance, perhaps. It stirred Loki's heart.

Loki cleared his throat. "All you have to do," he said, "is make sure they know they are special to you."

Before they both needed to wipe away a tear, Loki turned away. He dove both fists into the basket of candy canes.

"And if ever they need a little cheering up—" He tossed the sweets into the crowd. The whooped and giggled and waved their eager hands. "I heartily suggest lots of sugar!"

#christmas fic #loki #thor #brodinsons #fatherbood #brotherhood #santa #fluffy as hell #you'll get cavities #definitely didn't write this to spite anyone

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mmikmmik2 · 3 years

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First impressions of episodes five and six under the readmore

The Astro Queue Car

LMFAOOOOOO at Min-Gi jumping from polite and rule-abiding The Nice One to being a smug asshole. I'm so proud of him. Passive-aggressive-ing his little heart out.

PASSIVE AGGRESSION IS AN EXTREME SPORT AND MIN-GI IS WINNING.

But yeah, jokes aside, obviously Min-Gi should be treating Ryan better. I'm definitely interpreting this a lot as Min-Gi acting in perceived emotional self defense but there's probably also some malicious "SEE, YOU WERE WRONG TO GO ON WITHOUT ME" revenge here.

I saw several other people speculating that Ryan might like the train, and I definitely thought that was plausible too, but Min-Gi almost seemed to like in this episode getting to just hang out with Ryan and be superior the whole time. But I also definitely think his anger that (as he saw it, or wanted to believe he saw it) Ryan wasn't learning lessons was legitimate. Feel like both of the guys both have a lot of paradoxical simultaneously contradictory emotions going on and both keep failing to reach the core of their issues with themselves and with each other - it feels believable that they keep ping-ponging back to 202.

LOVED the moment where they realized the astronauts are all dead. Very visually cool and creepy, and I loved Min-Gi's realization that standing still could be just as much of a mistake as making the wrong move.

Love the continuing theme of like... rushing ahead alone, and refusing to follow, can both be forms of abandonment

When the lobby of the party tower got weird and I recognized it as the moment in the trailer when the Steward appeared, I legitimately started saying "YESSSS. YESSSS," over and over again out loud. I fucking love the Steward. And Kez freezing? Is that because she's a denizen? Oh my god. I hate seeing denizens harmed but I love when they have vulnerabilities because they're artificial beings (like Atticus being turned into a ghom - we have no definitive proof but I can't imagine Amelia could do that to a human - it feels obvious to me that the orbs could only be used to "reprogram" beings that were created by those orbs in the first place). Listen, seasons two and three spoiled me with existential horror and weirdness, but apart from /maybe/ Lake hitting the invisible walls in The Wasteland they never had any "REALITY IS RIPPING APART AT THE SEAMS" horror moments the way season one did (the sun spasming in the corgi car as the Steward put its claws into that miniature world's guts? the sky behind the sky in the unfinished car? Atticus's transformation? the half-finished world being built within the engine? so good, so juicy) and I am so, so hopeful we're gonna see the Steward bring some of that tastiness this season.

The Party Car

THIS EPISODE WAS SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD

FAVORITE OF THE SEASON SO FAR

Like it delivered on multiple levels

LOVE the development for the guys, love that Ryan tried to hide the Chicken Choice Judy shirt (looks like that logo is also one of the stickers on his guitar case? but the sticker isn't nearly as big a sign of vulnerability as keeping a shirt that's too small for him to wear just because Min-Gi made it for him) and Min-Gi tried to downplay his stylophone.

I really like that Min-Gi explicitly talked about anti-Asian bias and how he was worried they'd hit a glass ceiling (if that's the right phrase to use here?) even if they were relatively successful as musicians. I was expecting this season to make an effort to build on Ryan and Min-Gi's race as part of their characters, because I've gotten the impression the writers of InfTrain do care about doing that kind of thing right, but I assumed it would stay on the level of subtext and minor incidents like Min-Gi's manager mispronouncing his name. I'm glad the show got to go there and have a character talk about racism and how it affects him.

Loved that they repeated the part with Ryan on-stage waiting for Min-Gi, but this time Ryan didn't leave while Min-Gi stayed, they had a reassuring talk between the two of them where they came to understand each other better. I /love/ when InfTrain has moments like that, where characters redo a persistent narrative/theme in their life but change the ending.

Really though I felt so fucking bad for Ryan, I was like hearing the audio from the "You can pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half" meme when he was up on stage and realized Min-Gi wasn't coming, /again/

Really liked Kez being pigeonholed as "the funny one"/"the fuckup" in her friend group. Feels like a major theme this season is characters being afraid of being perceived as failures and trying to control what other people think of them.

Almost teared up at the final moment of Min-Gi inviting Kez to join the private party in the bathroom and him and Ryan quietly, comfortably jamming together. I'm gonna cry I love them all so much

LOOOOOOVED THE TRAIN LORE THIS EPISODE

I loved getting to see a mixed denizen friend group apparently roaming the car looking for parties, that was so juicy

THE FUCKING BOOTS ARE FOR CONTROLLING PASSENGERS? THEY'RE RESTRAINING BOLTS TO GLUE THEIR FEET TO THE FLOOR WHILE THE STEWARD IS TALKING TO THEM? THAT'S HORRIBLE AND I LOVE IT!!!!

So it looks like the jumpsuits and boots DID used to be standard issue for passengers, and Amelia just got her stuff back at some point between boarding and when we saw her in the season premiere! One wtf that sucks!!!

I love that there's this creepy procedure for the Steward to like deliver messages from on high, I love how weird and disturbing it was, I love that Kez iirc said something along the lines of being used to that (i.e. her getting frozen) happening sometimes HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT, ONE?

So, the Steward seemed to have been traveling through the train issuing that message to all passengers? I think that was implied in One's broadcast? So interesting, I wonder how many other changes in procedure have been implemented that way. My first impression was that One was using it to broadcast from a different car, but I guess it wasn't explicitly clear if he was using the Steward like a remote speaker or if he was behind that mask the whole time and just didn't feel the need to flip it up to address the guys more directly.

There was a moment where the Steward paused and there was muffled dialogue but I couldn't hear it at all... I don't have closed captions turned on right now (if they'll even work if I do turn them on, I cannot emphasize enough what a piece of shit the HBO Max website is)... my first thought was that One backed away from the "mic" while he and Amelia were talking (it would make sense if this change in procedure were something Amelia talked him into somehow?) but maybe that was his two personalities murmuring to each other? Hm.

#infinity train spoilers

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