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avocado-ramen · 4 months

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My Tybalt Exposition

I read somewhere (likely on Twitter, but no guarantees) about people getting really upset with the depiction of Tybalt in the two most recent October Daye novels (Sleep No More and The Innocent Sleep) which cover the same events, one from October's POV, the other from Tybalt's. This is the first time there's been another narrator in the October Daye series outside of short stories/novellas.

That original poster said that while they saw Tybalt's behaviour as problematic in Sleep No More, they had hoped that The Innocent Sleep, since told from his point of view, would clarify matters and perhaps 'redeem' his character. They went on to say that The Innocent Sleep made it much worse, and (I am completely paraphrasing here, I read this weeks ago and no longer have those posts available for reference) that Tybalt was basically abusive trash. If I recall correctly, they toed the line with calling the author a DV sympathizer/apologizer, but it was a near thing.

Even if I remembered where that original post was, I wouldn’t link to it, because I don’t want to bring attention to what they said, nor do I want to risk people piling onto them as is common when people feel like an IP they love is being attacked in any way. I’d rather just make an entirely too long post explaining my own views, and possibly rambling too much and make no sense – because that’s what I do. 😊

As I’ve now finished The Innocent Sleep, I felt the need to get some thoughts down to address some of the things brought forward in that post/thread/whatever I read just after The Innocent Sleep was released.

The author: people need to realise that these books are FICTION. The bonus of writing fiction is that you can safely explore troublesome parts of humanity and society without actually agreeing with those troublesome things.

A significant portion of the books I read have murder happening either on page or off screen in the first few pages because the mystery of a dead body gives the protagonist something to do. Do I think these authors all believe that people should be able to go around killing each other just for fun? No. So why on earth would people think an author including any other kind of violence in their work approves of that violence? This could be it’s own post, and many others have made this point much better than I ever will. Tybalt’s behavior in Sleep No More: We are seeing Tybalt through October’s eyes. Sure, we as readers are privy to the previous 16 books worth of information (even more if we’ve read all the shorts and novellas), but at this point in time, October doesn’t know Tybalt. She’s never seen a Cait Sidhe. She doesn’t know anything about them aside from what Titania’s illusion tells her. From this framing, Tybalt comes across as brash, angry, controlling, and violent. He has a tendency to storm off if things aren’t going his way. To October, Tybalt’s behaviour is completely out of line, and she’d be correct – from everything she knows at this point. Tybalt’s behaviour in The Innocent Sleep: One thing people need to remember before they start applying present-day human morality to Tybalt is that he is not human. At all. He’s fae. Cait Sidhe. He is both a cat and a humanoid, but he is not, and has never been, human. One of the things the author has reiterated time and time again is that both the fae as a whole, and Cait Sidhe specifically, live by an entirely different set of rules than humanity does. Titania hates the Cait Sidhe because she believes they are beasts and below the perfection of her other descendant lines like the Daione Sidhe. As much as Titania is the villain, she’s not entirely wrong. First and foremost, the Cait Sidhe are cats. When backed into a corner, they’re going to lash out. If they’re stressed, or hurt, etc., they’re going to lash out. It’s what they do. I have the scars from my own cats to prove it.

Tybalt knows he is barely in control of his emotions. He freely admits that, and the fact that he at times needs to walk away before he lashes out and does something he’ll regret, which I feel is smart and responsible of him.

Tybalt’s attack on Ginevra in the throne room in Golden Shore is excessive. And it’s meant to be. It’s completely unexpected and jarring in Sleep No More when seen from October’s point of view. In The Innocent Sleep, being in Tybalt’s head, while still a severe overreaction to a situation he wasn’t paying attention to and therefore didn’t have full context of, it is completely in line for how a) a cat would react, and b) how a Cait Sidhe king would react when they believe someone has attacked/injured/wronged someone that ‘belongs’ to them. Does that make it right? No. And Tybalt himself shows as much shame as his position allows when he sees Ginevra at dinner. Do I think Tybalt is an abusive asshole that needs to be shunned, killed off, or whatever other over the top reaction people have had? No. And no, that doesn’t mean I approve of his behaviour or think he should face no repercussions. But context means a lot. I can see when his behaviour is completely in character for his species and title, while also admitting when he’s crossed a line. The benefit of an ongoing series is that it is quite possible that Tybalt will face the fallout of his behaviour in Book 19, or even further. I don’t expect everything to be wrapped up in a perfect bow at the end of each book. None of the characters in these books is perfect (with the exception of Spike, Cagney, and Lacey), and if the author can foreshadow some of the things we’ve seen in Book 16 way back in Book 1, then we can believe she’s got plans for them for Book 19 and beyond.

This is the same author that took one of the most loathsome characters and made me want to wrap him in wool and protect him at all costs (ok, I still want to shake him now and again), to the point that I named my new kitten after him. Please, admire Simon “The Tiny Terror”.

#Seanan McGuire #The Innocent Sleep #Sleep No More #October Daye #Tybalt #Books #my cat

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honeyteacakes · 9 months

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For the Soft™️ fic prompt meme:

30. ‘this is my husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner etc.’

With Lucienne/Gault please?

(from this prompt list, requests always welcome! 💖)

Lucienne is experimenting with a laptop. She has been experimenting with a laptop- off and on- for the past week and half. It is a beautiful device, gifted to her from the dreams of a software engineer. Dream had insisted upon it, had not allowed her to demure or turn away the gift. It has been over a century since either of them had caught up with human inventions, and he'd seemed confident that she'd be a fan of this one.

In truth, it intimidated her a bit to use the computer- so unlike other data documentation methods that she'd been familiar with for millennia- but she had a hunch that it would grow on her. Matthew agreed, of course.

"No, no- the back button hit the- the one that says delete- yeah, ok." Matthew adjusts himself where he's perched on her shoulder, bends down closer to the laptop's screen. "It would be so much easier to show you how this thing works if I had thumbs. This is like trying to explain it to my grandma over the phone."

"I am older than your grandmother," Lucienne reminds.

"Yeah, I know. Weird to think of it that way, though." Matthew nips at her ear, a playful gesture. If she had hair, she has the sense that he'd be trying to preen it. He's rather affectionate for a raven. "Ok, so now that we've opened up the browser, you're going to want to go to the bar at the top of the screen... yeah that one, and-"

"What are you working on?"

Lucienne glances up over the edge of the laptop screen. Gault is standing at the end of an aisle of shelves, a thin tome under her arm. She's been spending more time in the Library as of late in order to research her new role. She'd taken to it with gusto, and has been glowing from it. It suits her. It suits her so well that even Dream had noticed. And looking at her now, smiling as she walks toward Lucienne, it's a wonder that Lucienne's ribs don't crack open with the joy she feels on Gault's behalf.

"I'm trying to show Lucienne how to use Twitter," Matthew calls from her shoulder. His feathers plump at the mention, proud to be of use. He's sweet, and so young. Lucienne enjoys their time like this, when he's able to ramble and rant about the things most familiar to him. She has the sense that it grounds him. The rest of the Dreaming is unfamiliar, but explaining 'twitter' (whatever that is) seemed to have excited him. Lucienne may have mild trepidation about his excitement, but she doesn't want to spoil it for him.

"Oh, Jed has talked to me about that one," Gault says. She joins them at Lucienne's desk, sets the volume that she'd been carrying down on top of another precarious stack of books that Lucienne has been collecting. "He tells me he likes the 'memes' there."

"God, I miss memes," Matthew says wistfully.

"Maybe Lucienne can share them with you? When she 'tweets'?"

"I have promised no such thing," Lucienne warns. She's still only lukewarm to the whole concept of a 'web site,' but she's trying not to be too externally grumpy about the development.

Gault smacks her shoulder. "Be nice."

"I am nice," Lucienne grouses. She grabs Gault's hand from where it had stopped against her shoulder, brings it to her mouth to press a quick kiss to her palm. "I am just not sure that I will like these 'memes.'"

Matthew squawks, startled. He falls from her shoulder, but quickly rights himself and settles on her desk. He shuffles so that he stands in front of the laptop.

"What was that?" He asks, wings agitated. "What w- you're dating? Why didn't you tell me, Loosh? We're best friends."

"We're not dating, Matthew-"

The raven makes a disbelieving noise.

"- we are married. We haven't made a secret of it."

"What?"

Lucienne sighs. She forgets that mortals are strange about such things, and do not quite have the same sort of perceptions about them as older beings. She lifts Gault's hand and locks their fingers together.

"Matthew, Gault is my wife."

Matthew sputters.

"God, Loosh, way to drop a bomb. We've got to get better about the whole small talk thing. Next thing I know, you'll be saying you've got kids and a dog."

Lucienne arches an eyebrow. "Who says that I don't?"

Matthew practically chokes.

She and Gault share a look, mischief twinkling in the former nightmare's eyes. In truth, they have neither children nor pets, but Matthew doesn't need to know that. Yet.

They could have a little bit of fun first.

"Oh?" Gault says, voice all sweetness and innocence. "You hadn't heard?"

Lucienne barely restrains a smile.

This is going to be delightful.

#gaulcienne #gaulcienne drabble #mine #my writing #this was so fun!!!! <3 #thanks for the prompt 💖💖💖💖💖#gault #lucienne the librarian #gaulcienne fic #prompt fills #mytumblrsandmanfics

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blackadamschefter · 10 days

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I'll try to be brief and avoid rambling as I like to do lol.

So, I was on twitter for something else and then saw in my lil "what's happening" that "Tutsi" was trending and so it got my attention right away and so I clicked it and saw that it was #Kwibuka30. So then it kinda brought alot of thoughts that I've had for about the past week or so rush straight to the front of my brain.

Its #Kwibuka30, and its essentially a day of remembrance of the 1994 Genocide in Rwanda. Its a day that I don't particularly think about often but I think of that year and period as a whole more often. Its kinda two fold where as in the past I didn't know of it (the specific day not the cause) and now that I have actively chosen to learn, read and fully immerse myself in it vs. just listening to convos and stories through my family members. I'm also close to the end of a book "Do Not Disturb" by Michela Wrong that is focused on the murder of a former high ranking RPF (Rwandan Patriotic Front) member but for me touches on the subject of the things that contributed to and reaction of the '94 genocide. Other books I finished that also touch on the subject. With that I also am a smarter & more informed just based on who I was around and listening to and I'm older, better educated (more educated??) anyways. I saw all that to get to this bit that made me feel like putting this and these thoughts out (so I can come back to and see).

I was personally affected by the '94 genocide and my family as a whole was affected by it. My life would be completely different if what led to it and it happening never happened. So I feel a certain level of pain/hurt when I think of the number of uncles I never got to meet, or cousins I didn't get to know.. I feel for my mom who lost brothers, uncles, friends & my grandma who lost her kids, siblings, nieces/nephews, etc. So it does that to me and to those who I have no relation with I think of more now than then because no one deserves to lose their life like that esp. innocent people who knew nothing and were taken. Its political and a longstanding thing that folks were gonna get their lick back but damn. Knowing now what I know I think its important to clarify that if this were to ever be seen by a person who.. idk just wants to start something or call me or consider me a génocidaire (genocide denier... in french for a reason) for what I'm about to say.. its actually far from it.

I understand that #Kwibuka30 is more or less reserved for "commemoration of the 1994 Genocide Against the Tutsi" I believe its also important that families of innocent Hutus should also be taken into consideration and remembered. Because the bigger play here is fully political in how its handled but its inhumane (to me) to make people feel less than or not be allowed to openly mourn for there own because others who did something so horrific shared the same tribe and that means they don't deserve the same sympathy... fuck that because its not fair. So as I think about my family and everyone who was affected. God Bless to all the lost souls that died, survived and many who feel guilty for being around. I pray for yall & hope you find a second to mourn, celebrate and feel free even if its just for a second.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

This takes me to Gaza & the Palestinian people because it was for them who made me relive things that happened more so when i was younger and knew nothing. I'm glad I was able to get off what I needed in the first part but this was more due to the images I was seeing. I feel for all those impacted by what's happening because at one point that was my reality, and I listen to the people in my family and close friends talk about the periods where we were on the move from refugee camp to refugee camp, walking for ages, just the blur of it all. Its brings you down but my mom and I have convos about it and I see why our bond is so strong and we struggled together to get to where we are. My dad too! Out there put in the frontlines and making it back to check on me or having his men guard where I laid my head in many cases. Owing the chance I got to my uncle who was also in the military like my dad and he & his wife protecting my mom and I and so many stories where God was there for me and mine. Lucky to make it out fr. So I see the images of kids eating, playing, in their parents arms and I feel and get a jolt of emotion that reminds me I was once just like them. So how its imperative to show love, give, pray and what I can to help. Life is unpredictable and my heart goes out to each and everyone impacted by it all.

Idk man.. I had to get that one off my chest and put it somewhere.

#personal

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secondsonaym · 1 year

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Okay, so I've had a bit of time to think on it (not that it bothered me that much, but I did want to try and clarify some things), and a sort of 'follow up' to this post in particular.

A little rambly, so under the cut.

Note that this isn't to talk about that specific anon or the specific issue involved in it, it's just a jumping off point, more or less.

I think people do need a bit of a reminder about 'parasociality' and the boundaries that tend to get ignored/eroded because of it.

To get right to the meat of the issue:

I'm ace. I have a complicated relationship with sex and sexual content. I feel bad when I have to bring up these parts of my identity when explaining these things, but I provide them to sort of give you a better perspective as to why some stuff may not be good to say to me. Why I take them a bit personally.

The long and short of it is, I'm really only comfortable with jokes and the like when either I am the one to publicly initiate, or it's happening between my own friends, in a comfortable environment.

It's why I tend to not let some stuff I tag with 'suggestive' to be reblogged, because that's just not what I want to be spread around and get people making the wrong assumptions about me.

Obviously there's nuance and yadda yadda sometimes exceptions, etc. But this is where I stand, and will not budge, because of a history of people continuously being entitled to the point they think they can disregard my requests to respect this.

So, tying this into the whole 'parasocial' aspect.

Yeah, I'm very casual and chatty, I like to be friendly to you all and I enjoy seeing your commentary and stuff, even if I don't always respond--Honestly wish there was a way to 'like' replies like on twitter, cause I usually use it as an indicator of 'I've seen this and it made me smile :>'

But. And this a big but. That is not an open invitation for you to jump straight to telling me things like "I put your OC in a smash or pass discord channel" or things of a similar nature. That's a bit too much of a boundary break.

Like, removing the context, how weird does it sound for you to tell somebody (who doesn't know who you are) that you put their character in a channel where people rate their desire to 'smash' or 'pass'? It definitely sounds weird to me, and I sure as hell wouldn't say it to somebody I barely even know.

I'm a bit skittish to begin with, so it's definitely not easy for me to loosen up and be comfortable interacting with new people, but stuff like this makes me withdraw back into my shell, so to speak.

I don't mind starting up convos, and if it seems like I'm actively engaging in the dialogue, then you have nothing to worry about, but this also isn't an invitation for Every Single Person to hit me up.

On the internet where those boundaries aren't as visibly noticeable--I can't give you body language to show my mood, for instance--It's very easy to not see that stuff, but I really think people need to take a few moments to consider if they're assuming too much about their relationship with somebody before saying something.

I've heard horror stories about even worse shit happening in the fandom, and it makes me glad y'all are so respectful as it is, which is why I'm not getting boiling mad or anything over this stuff, cause I'm sure you'll listen and understand.

And as far as that specific scenario linked goes: I don't care what y'all discuss about my OCs or my stuff between friends/in private spaces and all that. Out of sight, out of mind. You don't need to tell me, and I'm not gonna Thought Crime you.

The issue I'm taking is with the assumption of things, to the point I do need to go on these several-paragraph rambles, when stuff like that I feel should be basic etiquette.

I love y'all and I am happy people enjoy my things, but please let me stress that as far as interaction with y'all goes, I'm really not that much different from a streamer or something. I'm just a person doing a thing, and people like that thing.

Sorry this got a little long-winded, but I hope I at least made my point, and I'll stress again I'm not mad or anything. It's just been on my mind, so I might as well talk about it.

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trilobi-te · 10 months

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Cider and a theremin! I headcanon that he's able to play it because he just seems like that type of person.. he has those vibes......

Plus some extra doodles

Chip/Theremin rambling and doodle transcriptions below the cut. I included some explanations for the instruments pictured because I'm worried the drawings would otherwise be incomprehensible lmao

In case you can't read my handwriting: Doodle 1: Cider is saying "DANDY NO" and underneath it says *horrible theremin screaming* Doodle 2: the title says THORamin aka singing Tesla coil, and Otto is saying "Okay Cider please step a little closer to the instrument"

I like weird instruments so I assign them to fictional characters whenever it feels realistic to do so. The theremin is one of the world's first electric instruments (patented in 1928) and is played by moving one's hands around the two antennas, which are proximity sensors - vertical controls pitch and horizontal controls volume. Sound-wise, it's kind of like playing a synthesizer by hand? Also the hand gestures that are made when controlling pitch are.. interesting. (That's more or less what Cider is doing, it took an embarrassing amount of attempts to get that hand to look good enough so I just left it hhh)

Re: extra doodle 1 Touching the vertical antenna makes an unpleasant high-pitched noise (you're not meant to touch it at all while playing, just move your hands around like an electric wizard or something)

Re: extra doodle 2 "Thoramin" is another name for the singing Tesla coil, and a play on theremin and Thor (hence why it's here). It's a Tesla coil that's been modified to be a plasma speaker. I find these funny because people on YouTube always seem to be playing them in random suburbs. Just imagine looking out the window at your neighbor's yard and seeing a lightning storm set to Megalovania. Realistically Otto probably wouldn't have one (too loud, draws attention to the player) but for the purposes of The Funny™ he does now.

Something small I don't have anywhere else to bring up so I shall talk about it here: I started my Chipspeech Twitter archive project by just going through the tab on each account that says "Tweets" but it turns out that there are more tweets under the "Replies" tab that actually contain lore. So I am actually nowhere near done with this hhhhh I hate Twitter. I mean I'm still going to document everything because I want the story to be as intact as possible (including the small bits of character trivia that often show up in the replies tweets) but I am. not happy about it. I do not entirely understand the decision to put character information in the replies to fan tweets.. I mean things shared there are never really all that important, but I like weird small story details so I don't want to lose them if Twitter ever actually fully goes down. Also I am going to have to go back and put everything in chronological order (in terms of hours/minutes, everything currently is just organized by date) which means more time on Twitter. I traded efficiency for simplicity of each step in this process, which I guess was good for not becoming overwhelmed by the scale of things but it's dragging out a lot longer than I had initially anticipated. I start college in late August so ideally that's my hard deadline for this, which should absolutely be reachable but I'm still annoyed that it's taking this long in the first place hhhhhhh

#I am directing my autism energy towards the characters I like hehehehehe #I really want to try to play a theremin one day but unfortunately they are like 400+ dollars #afaik the only other way to get one is to rent it or borrow it from a library and all of the libraries in my area are small #there's no way they'd have a theremin.. sad bug hours #also I actually colored/shaded this time.. with office supplies because thin paper and also I like office supplies :)#chipspeech #cidertalk'84 #cidertalk84 #dandy 704 #otto mozer #theremin #posts by the bug

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marengogo · 1 year

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Rambling in INFJese - Part 7: ARMY across; JM down

Perreo Pesau’ - by Rauw Alejandro [Afrodisíaco]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

For the longest time now I’ve debated on whether to make this a “Naked - Series” post or an “INFJese - Series”. When I write posts for the Naked Series I am able to dive deep and completely immerse, because I am able to reason through events given on the multitude of provided facts. Hence I can confidently express my opinions, while obviously trading carefully.

In this case however, I ended up going for INFJese because there is so much to unpack and ironically enough, even though they are clearly visible and meant to be so, they are also the one thing about JK we haven’t heard him discuss or ever directly allude to (except for the number “7” of course), which is an indication to just how personal they are to him. Yet, we can still make a couple of educated guesses and respectful speculation about them; about JK’s Tattooes and a bit of JM’s as well.

This post was brought about by this ask → HERE. Originally, I was just going to reply to it directly, sticking to the POLYC question. However, as I kept researching, questioning and reasoning, I had too many questions formulating and all the answers that I found kept slowly taking me back, one tattoo at a time, to the very beginning. So here we are, rambling about tattoos with a naked-series undertone, I can already tell…😬

So 🎵Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start 🎶the date is August 11, 2019. BTS performs at the LOTTE DUTY FREE FAMILY CONCERT, which will turn out to be their last performance before they embark, for the very first time, a period of break as announced by BH in the following statement:

From this point on, our boys will take a “break” and enjoy their free time. For the most part each member spent time doing things they wanted and didn’t really meet with each other, except on one occasion: JK’s birthday. Jimin and J-Hope would visit our golden maknae for his birthday. JM would bring him presents, a cake, take a picture and post it on twitter on September 1, 2019. Now if you are a JKKer you will have already seen that picture, what however you may not have noticed is that, it appears that JK already had the smiley face tattoo on his finger, as pointed out by this person (don’t worry, I’ll reveal the blackout picture in a sec…)

Here is the original tweet so you can see for yourself, and make your own conclusion on whether or not it appears that he already has the smiley face, or a temporary version of it:

At this point in time JK is happily enjoying his break, exercising to his heart content, potentially has his first tattoo, perhaps as a birthday present to himself. He’s also celebrated his birthday with friends, while being surprised by one particular member JM. Considering the important JK places on birthdays, and special days, I’d say that all was more than peachy in KooKooLand.

However, as life often does, when you reach any happiness-related peak, due to happiness’ ephemeral nature, a descent/fall is bound to happen soon after. September 8, 2019 rolls around. A certain picture starts circulating and trending:

The picture’s source, as always, is uncertain and debated:

Some say it came from JK’s brother's IG account (but by that time he’d already closed his previous account…)

Some say it came from a 2018 picture found on pintrest (which, common now 😑 …)

Some say it came from an OP who mate JK (this is the version I tend to believe, I meddled through a lot of tweets stating this, as I think that picture is indeed JK’s hand, not so much for the ARMY tattoo, but for the 0613 one under his thumb)

Anyways, as always, the bird app began to chirp:

At this point, in this picture that is circulating, his hand only has:

0613

ARMY

🥴

Crown

Though we can’t see the full hand from that picture, so the 💜 might have already been there, his hand will eventually have:

(💜)

ARMY logo (this is also a bit debatable, because of the sleeve in the Churro-Pic we can’t tell if it was there, but the first time it was officially seen was October 9, 2019 on their way to their concert in Saudi Arabia)

+ + +

Now, it is perfectly normal to go back and finish a tattoo, but this usually is, I do the frame and then take my time and do the coloring, which is what the “The hand tattoo is a representative of the members”-brigade says. However, JK’s hand tattoo has no color filling or complicated design, I believe that if writing the members name had been his intent he would have done it all in one go, as it is NOT a complicated tatt to get, and getting in parts would have made NO SENSE.

Anyways, this bird app is chirping and nobody seems to know where the picture came from but eventually the consensus is that it is fake because; “why the hell would JK go around with ARMY tattooed on his hand?!” like so:

And to this point all that JK might be seeing is himself trending for a tattoo he actually has and eventually we would see, not a very bothersome scenario, but most likely one he could live with, but then came September 16, 2019 well into September 17, 2019. They came in like wrecking balls.

September 16, 2019 JK (and the members) is at Incheon airport getting ready to go to Australia to film Bon Voyage 4, and 🎶Oop! There is! 🎵 his first time publicly showing his tattoos.

Cool right? But then, and I don't know exactly the time frame because it all seems to have happened at the same time please remember I’m a 2020 ARMY, JK is shown back hugging and drinking with the now infamous tattoo artist Mijoo on a leaked CCTV camera footage and all hell broke loose. All sorts of speculations are made but the most popular one is that Mijoo is JK’s girlfriend and following are the actions that were instantly taken (by instant I mean 16 were the rumours. 17 the BH statement was made):

Mijoo denied being in a relationship with JK (here → https://www.allkpop.com/article/2019/09/tattoo-artist-denies-shes-dating-btss-jungkook)

BH denied Mijoo being in a relationship with JK (here → https://www.soompi.com/article/1352928wpp/big-hit-entertainment-denies-bts-member-jungkooks-dating-rumors)

I cannot imagine what was going through JK’s mind, given that the way it appeared at the time he took off with people shook at his tattoos and landed with people outraged at him allegedly dating someone and don’t even get me started on him apologising to ARMY on the last episode of Bon Voyage 4 … let’s not get into that right now.

I cannot imagine, but one thing that is for sure is that, going by the Churro-Pic which I think to be real, somewhere between the 8th and 16th of September he potentially added the ARMY logo (unless it was already there), the + + + and the J; the J.

The most infamous J. Because there are so many opinions about it, I think it is only fair that I should share on this post what I think about it as I really do believe it to be an afterthought. Meaning, JK went to get ARMY related tattoos on his hand (even the ARMY logo) just to display his love for ARMY (the crown and the 🥴tho … who knows, right?).

Admittedly, I’m not sure what the “+ + +” are meant to represent but a “J” is a J and this is where it gets tricky as a Jikooker. We have ZERO INFORMATION relating to what happened between September 8 and September 16. This was after jikook was together for JK’s birthday and before the whole “JK scandal”. I have ZERO INFORMATION but I do believe MY PERSONAL OPINION that something happened to make him go and add the J (and all the other hand tattoos). Following are my 3 POSSIBLE theories:

He had it all planned from the very beginning, even before getting the ARMY tattoo, but was still hesitant on whether to have such a statement on his hand, but then decided to go ahead with it so went back to get that J. (I feel this to be highly unlikely, but who knows right?).

He wanted to add a J meaning Jungkook and when the tattoo artist asked “where would you like it?” He looked at his hand and realised, to his amusement and probably joy, that adding it above the M, would actually make “JM” and went with it (this is very likely, but who knows right?) because he obviously was okay for it to be perceived as so. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure he would have found another location for that J it’s not that hard.

A mix of 1 & 2. After the ARMY tattoo, he might have eventually decided that he did want a Jimin tattoo and realised how perfectly that M was placed; almost like fate …😬 let’s not forget the seriousness with which he makes sure not to have any ring between J and M (this is the theory I personally believe, but who knows right?).

Now we don’t know the reason/s and meaning of his hand tattoos, but through the good and bad times that JK experienced during his well deserved break from August 11 to September 16, 2019, when looking at his hand, and when I say looking, I mean at first glance, I mean right in your face, I mean you don’t even have to second guess even among all the other symbols; the letters read: ARMY across. JM down. FIGHT ME.

I could go on talking about the progression of all his Tattoos up to June 18, 2022 (which is when POLYC posted the finished Tattoo reveal), but that would make this post 1300 pages long, so I’ll some space here —> [ ] just in case I do another post about the progression, or please let me know if you’d like me to do it. For now, let fast forward 3 years into 2022, so that I can finally answer the ASK 🥴.

Now, I cannot tell you what the eye might have meant and what the time on the clock means, whereas it is a bit easier to speculate on word-tattoo, speculating on drawing-tattoo is like playing the lottery: it could literally mean ANYTHING depending on the person who got them. It would be a bit easier if JK had said even one thing about his art but it is safe to say that they are things that somehow relate to his life and things he believes in or had believed and not anymore? If I had to make an educated guess however:

EYE: Just by googling you will find this definition about the possible meaning of an eye tattoos - Depending on your chosen design, a tattoo of an eye can mean many things. There are several popular ocular pieces, including the Eye of Horus and the Third Eye. That said, in general, the eye is commonly associated with protection, guidance, knowledge, and clarity. - (from the FAQs of this site → https://www.thetrendspotter.net/eye-tattoos/).

So he has now changed the eye into Bullet Proof. We all know the meaning of that for JK and all members in particular. In general, something bulletproof, is invincible, free from harm, so in a way a sort of protection as well. But once again … who knows right?.

CLOCK: Just by googling you will find this definition about the possible meaning of an clock tattoos - x Generally speaking, a clock tattoo might symbolize a range of meanings from simply time to life and death, mortality, existence, infinity, endless love, stability, and structure, or referencing a specific special moment in one's life. (from this site → https://customtattoodesign.ca/tattoo-meanings/clock-tattoo-meanings#:~:text=Generally%20speaking%2C%20a%20clock%20tattoo,special%20moment%20in%20one's%20life. )

My brother made me draw the design for his clock tattoo which he wanted to have on his shoulder. He wanted the 12, 3, 6, and 9 to be substituted with our names initials (myself, him, mom and dad) as we just so happen to have the same initial letter the devil works hard, but my parents worked harder 🙃🙃, and then he wanted the hands of time to indicated the time he was born. So I am very inclined to think that perhaps it was a special moment in his life, even his time of birth but, unless he tells us, we would never know.

One thing I will say is that, he seems to have added a hand of time in the new version of the time, so he seems to have changed the time. In the original version it seems to be 3 o’clock, but in the new version it seems to be indeed 3:24. It could be intentional, it could be random, thought would feel weird for it to be random, in my opinion, but once again … who knows right?.

Aaaand last but not least here is my theory with regards to Polyc_sj arm-signature-tattoo.

As we all know all members have gotten their Friendship-7 tattoo from him as shown by the signatures of the members in his studio, and even though I don’t know why Tae didn’t sign, Polyc confirmed on a live he did on the October 23, 2022 that he did indeed give Tae his tattoo, but we do not know the location they also asked about the location of Suga’s and he said it was a secret 🥴🥴🥴. I would have linked an english translation but all I could find were ones of bitter Capulets so yeah … no.

But here is a link to the tweet I put in the image, google translate is “okay” in this instance: https://twitter.com/hangbokmanhaeu/status/1584054029713539073

So when it comes to signatures, if it were just about having their signatures except for Tae from what we’ve seen he has them all. So my opinion is that those are the dates when both JK and JM came to do an actual piece, so: JK February 25 (2.25) & JM April 22 (4.22). February 28, 2022 will be the last time we would see Jk wearing something akin to a short sleeve, before June 18, 2022, which is why I believe that February 25 is the day JK went in to start working on his sleeve (and of course we don’t really know when the videos were taken but it after this, I couldn’t find any other T-Shirt JK pics before June).

Actually the only other one was when JayPark posted with JK, on April 19, 2022 but that was with his old tattoos, which also bring forth another point. Tattoos are made to be seen. They are personal, they are significant but also you have them on your skin because in most cases is like wearing your heart on your sleeves. So I do believe that JK kept them hidden until they were ready to tell us whatever it is he wanted the world to know, which in this case was June 18, 2022.

And JM? Well well well. Differently from JK we haven’t seen the rest of the crescent moons yet, even though he did tell us he would show us at some point, but my believe is that Polyc might have been the one to finish the rest of the moons, which is a weird thought because he has a very different style and I am not sure how that makes sense but what I have to go on is the following:

March 13, 2022 - Permission To Dance on Stage in SEOUL, we see JM’ new tattoos.

June 2, 2022 - Incheon Airport (returning from the USA), we spot that JM seems to have even more tattoos under the crescent moon.

Now, we know BTS left for the USA March 28, 2022 for PTD in LV IN April where he was still pretty clothed when it came to his back. They then came back April 19, 2022 and stayed in SK until May 29, 2022 when they left to go see president Biden. The signature says 4.25, which is why I believe he might have had Polyc finish the moons on April 25, 2022, after Las Vegas, before DC. However until we see the whole tattoo it is just what it is: my speculation.

Obviously I don’t know the relationship Polyc have with JK and JM, but him having made an actual piece on them and wanting to have a signature from two members of BTS that also seem to have a great appreciation for tattoos, seems to be plausible. In the same way that JK has POLYC tattooed on himself, probably thinking of him as the person who, as he said, saved his arm.

But maybe there is more to the story, and if so, how are we supposed to know if the people involved don’t tell us? What I actually do think you should be asking yourself is, if Polyc really did finish JM’s crescent moon tattoos, does JM also have a POLYC signature on his back? … who knows right?.

Always respectfully yours 💜,

Marengo.

#Rambling in INFJese #Jikook #Jikook Tattoos #Jikook & PolyC #Jungkook's Hand Tattoo

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hollymbryan · 10 months

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Blog Tour: Top 5 Reasons to Read SOME SHALL BREAK by Ellie Marney! #tbrbeyondtours

Welcome to Book-Keeping and my stop on the TBR and Beyond Tours blog + bookstagram tour for Some Shall Break by Ellie Marney, the sequel to 2020’s breakout hit None Shall Sleep! I absolutely loved the first book and this follow-up, and below you’ll find my top 5 reasons to read the series!

About the Book

title: Some Shall Break (None Shall Sleep #2) author: Ellie Marney publisher: Little, Brown release date: 6 June 2023

This sequel to the New York Times bestselling None Shall Sleep is an equally electrifying, chilling thriller that brings us back into the lives of junior FBI consultants Travis Bell and Emma Lewis with a new case that may unravel everything they’ve been working for.

After a harrowingly close contact with juvenile sociopath Simon Gutmunsson, junior FBI consultants Emma Lewis and Travis Bell went their separate ways: Emma rejected her Quantico offer and Travis stayed to train within a new unit of the FBI Behavioral Science division. But the unit’s latest case is feeling eerily familiar and Kristin Gutmunsson—Simon Gutmunsson’s eccentric twin—reaches out to Travis to send a warning: Emma is in peril. When Travis and Kristin turn up evidence that points back to Daniel Huxton, the serial killer that Emma had escaped, things become more complicated. With a copycat on the loose, Emma returns to Quantico and is thrown back into her past traumas. Compelled to prevent more tragedy—even if it means putting herself in danger—Emma turns to Simon for help once again. But Simon is keeping secrets that could impact their entire investigation. Will the team be able to stop the Huxton copycat before time runs out for his next victims?

Content Warning: Murder, gore, trauma, sexual assault, sexism, violence, drug use, racism

Add to Goodreads: Some Shall Break (None Shall Sleep #2) Purchase the Book: Amazon | B&N | Bookshop.org

About the Author

Ellie Marney is a NYT bestselling author of crime fiction. Her most recent book is The Killing Code, and her other titles include the Aurealis-winning None Shall Sleep, the Every series – starting with Every Breath – and the companion novel No Limits, White Night, and the Circus Hearts series, starting with Circus Hearts 1. Ellie’s next book, Some Shall Break, the sequel to None Shall Sleep, will be released June 2023.

Ellie’s books are published in eleven countries and have been optioned for television. She’s spent a lifetime researching in mortuaries, talking to autopsy specialists, and asking former spies how to make explosives from household items, and now she lives quite sedately in south-eastern Australia with her family.

Connect with Ellie: Website | Twitter | Instagram | Goodreads | Facebook

Top 5 Reasons to Read

I must admit I’m kind of glad this isn’t a traditional review because I’d just be gushing incoherently about how freaking much I loved Some Shall Break (and its predecessor, None Shall Sleep). So instead of rambling, let me give you my top 5 reasons to read this incredible series!

1. The early 1980s setting had me nostalgic for my childhood! Granted, I was only 7 in 1982, but I loved all the little references to things I remember from that time - songs, fashion, cars, etc.

2. I loved getting a (fictional) peek inside the beginnings of the FBI’s now-famed Behavioral Science Unit, which quickly became the gold standard for serial killer profiling.

3. These books give us the most creepy and terrifying serial killer this side of Hannibal Lecter, and I am absolutely chuffed to see the grittiness of this thriller series in young adult lit!

4. Emma Lewis is a badass, incredibly complex character that you root for with every single page you turn. Her badassery lies not in brute strength or actual abilities to kick butt, but in her strength of character, her tenacity, her intelligence, her unwillingness to be pushed around, and her feminist sensibilities (back when more mainstream feminism was still fairly new). She has *been through some shit* and has come out the other side fierce and strong, while also still dealing with the effects of her captivity. I love the quote from Adrienne Rich that she cites as her favorite: “Her wounds came from the same source as her power.”

5. Finally, more on the feminism: again, we’re dealing with very early ‘80s, so mainstream feminism was in its nascent stage, but Marney exposes the sexism inherent in not just police culture but also the culture at large at the time -- and which unfortunately still exists today. At one point Kristen says, “People only listen when women expose their pain, I suppose.” Emma later remarks, “Every woman lives in a constant state of battle-readiness.” Later, when Emma shoos away a creep in a bar by referring to her FBI partner, Travis, as her boyfriend, she notes “the irony that she has to claim connection with one man to avoid another.” I doubt I’m alone in saying each of these is all too familiar even now, 40 years after the setting of this book.

I’m not sure I can adequately convey how darn much I love this series, but I hope this list is a start! If you are *at all* a mystery/thriller lover, PICK THESE UP! Even if you don’t normally read YA, I am confident you’ll love these. And DM me with thoughts once you’re done!

RATING: 5 stars!

**Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of this blog tour. I also bought myself the audiobook to alternate between audio and physical.

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minhxiao · 3 months

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1.30.24

i am drinking longan, red date, and goji berry tea. lately i've really taken to it and have been drinking it every night. it makes me feel like an old apothecary, reaching into my cabinet to find the jars of dried herbs and tossing a little bit of this and that into my cup to brew my nightly health elixir. this particular combination is great to drink in the winter and can help with blood circulation (something i am always in need of). it's warming my cold fingers as i write this.

lately whenever i open up twitter wanting to tweet something, i just get overwhelmed and i end up closing the app with a slight sigh. i don't feel bad. people take breaks from fandom all the time. but it always feels a bit difficult to come back and makes me question if i even should. i do feel a little bad about the messages in my ao3 inbox that i haven't responded to yet. i feel an obligation to the people who read my writing even though it's an obligation not tied by anything except a love for fanworks. and nearly all of those people are extremely patient and understanding of me.

truthfully, i haven't really been excited about genshin and genshin fandom lately. the excitement will come back (maybe soon, with the new patch) and maybe i'll dive back into it with a renewed vigor. but for now, i'm letting myself enjoy other things. (i have caught up on a lot of shows and books recently and it's felt really nice).

i also have had some major life updates recently. it's a little scary but change is always like that. despite the good things, i still feel a strange string of melancholy and dread permeating through my days. the universe has granted me the blessing of something new, so i should welcome it with open arms and here i am, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. i always expect awful things to happen, because in my life, something good is always accompanied by something disastrous. my therapist and i talked about how i am like orpheus looking back at the last second, wondering, "is it really true? is everything i love gonna follow me?" only to find my own shadow staring back at me. funny, how that story goes. i'll do my best to resist looking back.

anyway, despite how inactive i've been, i still have been writing though. quite a bit, surprisingly. i've been pouring a lot into this haikaveh/kavetham wip recently (a ship that i never thought i'd ever write for. but maybe it's bc of my life recently and i've been feeling like a kaveh kinnie). it's currently at 20k words and writing it has made me fall in love with writing again. partially i think it's because i haven't announced much about it (or made the mistake of eagerly posting the first chapter before it's all finished) and there are no expectations, just me and my outline and a cup of tea. it feels so much better writing when i let go of the perceived expectations i have for myself. i feel so creative lately. maybe the best work really does come from stillness and endurance. i've outlined tbal all the way to the end (although writing it has been admittedly difficult. there's something bittersweet to me, thinking about tbal ending). and also, i'm extremely grateful to have been accepted into 2 zines recently (meriwether: an anemo boys zine! and another, secret one that i'm not sure i'm allowed to announce yet) and i'm really excited about the pitches i made for those. i can't wait to share it all soon. if you are waiting, thank you for your patience.

if you've read through this rambling personal update, thank you. i hope life has been treating you well. and if life hasn't, then i hope you're treating yourself well. i hope you have things that bring you joy and that your hands are always warm and if not, then i'll recommend some longan, red date, and goji berry tea. cheers, minh.

#minh.log

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buffenny · 2 years

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i’ve avoided putting anything on here, on my public accounts because i’m not exactly a public griever. i never will be. i originally wasn’t going to put anything here either, but i think this is the next step in this whole grieving thingy for me.

idec if anyone actually reads this, because this is a comfort for me, plus i don’t think i can stomach not saying anything about someone that meant so much to me despite having never met him. he’s got me through so much. so fucking much.

also before i get into it, i do want to mention that this is very much me rambling and may also come across sort of vent-like.

things were really rough for me last night (as im sure it was for so many other people). i cried for so so long to the point where i couldn’t breathe and the only thing i could feel was the pressure of my headache that had formed, it wasn’t even one of those pounding headaches, it was just constant. honestly i blame it on being dehydrated, L to me for not drinking water ig.

at first i thought it was some kinda of sick joke. about 10 seconds into the video i was actively hoping that it was. i don’t know how to fucking process this or how to properly grieve and i cant even imagine how anyone close to him must be feeling right now. but i bet that they’re fucking proud of him. he’s made such a positive impact on so many fucking people.

he was the first person i watched when i started watching minecrafters again. instantly i grew attached to his content and his personality. the way he interacted with his friends was just so fucking nice to watch. i cant even explain it well because who the fuck actually manages describes complex emotions like this in full??

my first art post on my twitter account was him and my first mcyt post on my instagram account was him. i

remember being fifteen fucking years old, having no friends and no one to even talk to. i remember being the loneliest i had ever been in my entire life, and i remember how much technos content helped me through that.

yesterday, when the video was uploaded to his channel, i cried the hardest i had ever cried in my entire life. i have never dealt with grief like this. i’ve never experienced death. but yesterday, everything felt wrong. nothing felt real, it didn’t feel real. i straight up, could not fucking believe it. i still cant believe it. because it doesn’t feel real. i cant wrap my head around him actually being gone.

and when i say that everything felt wrong, i mean that it felt like i couldn’t do anything. everyone was talking about distractions but i couldn’t distract myself because just the action of doing so felt like i was doing him a disservice. and don’t get me wrong, i know that’s not true, but that’s how it felt. i couldn’t listen to fucking music all day yesterday because the noise was just too loud, and the lights on in my room were too bright so i had to shut them off as well. it all felt so wrong.

today, seeing the rest of the world move on with their lives was so confusing to me. people have been so excited to watch the new stranger things episodes and i just cant. i cant bring myself to do anything like that. anything that i can’t relate back to technoblade i cant distract myself with.

i played a bit of minecraft, i watched some of his old videos, i watched phil’s stream.

it was really nice to laugh with my friends though. i’m glad that i was able to do that today. really fucking glad.

i’ve been spending a lot of time on twitter. right now the whole place is just full of love and support and other people who are grieving just as much as i am and it’s really fucking nice.

i’m kind of scared to post this because i’m not really one for being public with my emotions, and i don’t have anything like this on any of my accounts. also the fact that i know my friends will probably see this. but like i said, it felt wrong not to post anything.

it’s true that i could post something significantly shorter, but i think i’d rather post something that feels more me.

#technoblade fanart

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shiningwonderland · 6 months

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Cecil Aijima (Repeat)

Translator: Raz (twitter: agnadance) Proofreader: Sera (twitter: serayagami) Editors: Melanie (twitter: melabonbon), Plaid (twitter: cecillovemail)

March — A Song for You

February has ended. At night, while gentle flakes of snow swirled, Cecil-san chose our song over his country.

However, they wouldn’t allow it. So, we hid in the recording room under the dorms.

This is the secret base that Ittoki-kun and the others stayed in when Satan was running amok.

The room next to the recording room is normal, so we won’t have any issues leading our everyday lives for a while.

More importantly, we can complete our song if we use the equipment here.

The “Song of Agna” that defeated Satan is still only one verse and a chorus long. We’ll expand it to a full song and Cecil-san will sing it for the graduation audition.

It will be the first time I hear this song in its completion.

Of course, there isn’t a true “completion” of a song. The graduation audition doesn’t make it final.

However, that is the beginning of the end.

Right now, this song is just a chick lying dormant in its egg. It’s waiting for the moment when it will break open its shell and be born.

I won’t let it stay an egg.

Thankfully, the principal is siding with us, so even when the people of Agna Palace come for us, the teachers will turn them back.

They will say that we’ve already fled the school grounds to elope…. I don’t think they’ll find this place, but we’re trying not to leave the recording room as much as we can.

… Which means Cecil-san and I have a lot of time alone together.

Cecil Aijima: Haruka. My sweetheart.

Haruka Nanami: Kya! U-um….

Once I notice arms wrapping around my shoulders, I am kissed on the cheek.

That surprise kiss is bad for my heart. Ba-dump!

Cecil Aijima: Deep in thought…?

Select the phrase!

Thinking about the song…. (+10 Love, +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I was thinking that I’ll definitely bring this song to its completion….

Ah, no…. (+10 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I’m just spacing out a little, that’s all.

I had some rambling thoughts but…. It’s not really worth the effort of saying.

Now we just have to keep working hard….

I’m not thinking about anything important…. (+0 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I just thought of how much professional equipment there is and how this is such a good space....

I can’t admit that my heart’s racing because we’re alone together for such a long time….

Cecil Aijima: Yes…. I have also thought of things. Will you listen?

Haruka Nanami: Yes.

Cecil Aijima: I am writing lyrics. I have imbued them with my love for you. However, Japanese is difficult.

Haruka Nanami: Really? But Cecil-san, you’ve become so much better at Japanese in such a short time.

Your hearing must be very good. You grasp pronunciation and intonation so quickly.

Cecil Aijima: Thank you. But, it is not enough. Teach me, Haruka. Teach me how to convey these feelings in words….

Ah, yes, the number of syllables is important when writing lyrics, so it might be a good thing to know different words.

Haruka Nanami: Yes, feel free to ask me anything. I hope I can help.

Cecil Aijima: Okay. Are there any other words that can convey the meaning of the word, “I”?

Haruka Nanami: Yes. Men, for example, might say….

Select the phrase!

“Boku”, formal and masculine (+20 Love, +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: You have a soft demeanor, so I think “boku” works best for you.

Cecil Aijima: “Boku”.... Okay, I shall try using it. Haruka, please kiss me.

Haruka Nanami: Eh…?

Kiss… now?

Ba-dump, ba-dump!

Cecil Aijima: Reflect me in your glistening eyes and carve every scene into them that takes place until the moment our lips touch, as if in slow motion, in your heart….

Then feel me…. I will engrave my existence into you. Deeply…. And it will never fade.

Mm….

Haruka Nanami: … Mm….

The warmth, like an aphrodisiac, flows from his lips into mine and etches the feeling called love deep into my heart.

I feel like Cecil-san’s existence is filling every part of me, from the top of my head down to my toes.

My whole body is being imbued with Cecil-san, but it feels unusually good so I give up all of myself to him.

Cecil Aijima: Mm…. Did you feel me deeply…?

Haruka Nanami: … Yes, I think so, very much so.

Cecil Aijima: Good, I am glad. Then I will fill you with enough of my feelings till your body and heart begin to overflow.

Haruka Nanami: … Yes.

Cecil-san continues whispering his love to me while calling himself “boku” for a period of time.

“Ore”, most masculine sounding and informal (+10 Love, +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Many of the students in class use “ore”.

Cecil Aijima: “Ore”.... I see… Haruka.

Haruka Nanami: Yes, what is it?

Cecil Aijima: Do… you love me?

BA-DUMP!

Wh-what is this? His impression changes so much just by changing the way he refers to himself.

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes. Um…. I love… you.

Aaah…. I can’t seem to look Cecil-san straight in the eye.

Cecil Aijima: I love you… Haruka. Look… look only at me. Only have me in the reflection of your eyes. Love only me, just me….

He wraps his arms around my shoulders and whispers sweetly into my ear. He’s saying the same thing that he usually says, but….

My heart’s racing.

Cecil Aijima: Hehehe. “Ore” is also very interesting.

He releases me and smiles.

Haruka Nanami: Ah…. Yes, it seems so.

Haa, my heart was beating so much.

“Jibun”, Equivalent to saying “me” or “myself”, kind of unusual (+0 Love, +0 Music)

Cecil Aijima: “Me”?

Haruka Nanami: Ahh, for example, you can say things like “I’m so awkward, me!”

Cecil Aijima: Hmm. I find this somewhat difficult.

Cecil Aijima: Then how many words are there for saying “you”?

Select the phrase!

“Kimi”, a little informal (+10 Love, +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Ittoki-kun and Ichinose-san seem to use it often. It’s one of the more formal ways of calling someone, comparatively speaking.

The word is often used in song lyrics. “Kimi no tame ni” (For Your Sake), “Kimi ni sasagu” (I Devote This to You), and so on.

“Omae”, very strong (+5 Love, +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Hijirikawa-sama says this word often. The impression of this word is a bit strong.

I think if you were to use “omae”, then using “ore” for yourself is suitable.

“Anta”, kind of rude (+0 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: “Anta” and “kisama” also exist, but these words are both somewhat harsh.

This varies case by case, but if you were to use “you” in lyrics, then using “anata” or “boku” should be safe candidates.

Cecil Aijima: I see…. However, My Princess, that is not enough to convey my feelings for you.

Teach me more…. More words, more romance, and more love….

Haruka Nanami: … Okay. Well, then let me teach you more words that convey feelings….

We kept inside the secret recording room and completed the song with just the two of us.

Sometimes whispering love, and sometimes singing and exploring our feelings for each other.

Our feelings for music… for dreams.

We talk extensively during our short time, about ourselves, our parents, our countries….

Every day is fun and shines brightly. I wish this time would continue forever.

I pray for that. I know that is an unattainable dream. I know that the end will come no matter what.

The day of the graduation audition is now here.

Cecil-san is dressed in his stage outfit.

Cecil Aijima: How… is it?

Select the phrase!

You’re handsome. (+20 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I’ve fallen in love with you all over again!

Cecil-san’s cheeks flush bashfully.

It suits you. (+10 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: You already look like a professional idol with your appearance. Ah, you jumped onto the stage in Song Station just awhile ago, huh….

I’m sure if you were to debut, you would immediately become famous….

But that dream will never come true….

I’ll think of the graduation audition that is in front of us.

So blinding! (+5 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Your idol aura is overpowering! You’ll stand out on stage for sure!

Haruka Nanami: I’m excited for your turn.

Cecil Aijima: Yes, But… this is the last….

Haruka Nanami: Yes.

An uncomfortable silence follows.

We have been so happy up till now, but the pressure of our eventual parting weighs down on us.

We’ve prepared ourselves for this, and yet I can’t help but feel deeply lonely.

Cecil-san takes my hand and grips it tightly.

Haruka Nanami: Cecil… san.

Cecil Aijima: I cannot help but wish that I could whisk you away and live together in a faraway foreign country that nobody knows about.

However, I know even if I were to do that, neither of us would be happy. We cannot give up on our dreams.

You… think so too, do you not?

If I were to deny his statement out loud, I wonder if Cecil-san would always stay with me…? But….

Select the phrase!

They are both dear. (+20 Love, +0 Music)

Cecil Aijima: When you say “both”, do you mean that I am also dear to you?

Haruka Nanami: Yes, I do....

Cecil Aijima: Thank you, My Princess. My beloved….

Truthfully, I do not want to part with you. I want to put you in a small, hidden box and whisper my love to you for eternity, but….

If I were to do that, you would not be able to sing. You would not be able to create music. I cannot sever you from music.

That is why….

Dreams are precious. (+0 Love, +10 Music)

Cecil Aijima: I could not help but be drawn to the Muse inside of you. You, in turn, are moved by the Muse.

I cannot take music away from you.

Yes. (+0 Love, +5 Music)

Cecil Aijima: You are the holy bringer of music. You are beautiful when you are aiming and working towards your dreams.

Even if we were to be physically apart, we are connected with music.

Even if I were to reform my contract of the soul with the Muse, I only love one person. I will only love you, forevermore….

He hugs me tightly.

Cecil Aijima: This is goodbye, My Princess. However, I will not allow you to be alone. I will leave you a song. A song of love….

I will think of you and sing only for you…. Think of me as this song.

Haruka Nanami: I will.

Mini Game

Our performance is coming up. This is our last practice session.

Once the lesson ends, we go to the auditorium and head to our final performance.

Let’s do our best so we have no regrets….

Ryuya Hyuga: No matter what happens, you only have one chance for the graduation audition. There are no redos.

In order to create the best performance on stage, you must constantly keep practicing where nobody can see you. You must listen, perform, and polish your song again and again.

Perform as if on stage. If you find faults, clean them out and prepare for the last performance. Got it!?

This is the last lesson. Give it your all!

Rank S

Cecil Aijima: I do not want to believe that this is the last…. I shall extol my love for you forevermore. I vow to you that I will never cease. This love, forever….

Haruka Nanami: … Thank you. Do your best on stage.

We hold hands and walk down the path towards the auditorium.

I don’t need words anymore. All I need is the warmth from his hand and the song that he will sing.

Disciple A: I saw him, he’s over there!

Disciple B: I knew he was hiding on school grounds. Ambush him!

Disciple A: Roger!

Cecil Aijima: Disciples of Agna Palace? Not good—if we are caught, I will be brought back to my country. Let us flee!

Haruka Nanami: Right!

We start running, still holding each other’s hands.

Haruka Nanami: Haa, haa, haa… they’re pretty persistent, huh!

Cecil Aijima: They’ll catch up with us at this rate….

Then….

Ringo Tsukimiya: Over here!

The wall of the school building opens and Tsukimiya-sensei gestures at us with his hand to come inside.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Quickly! We can get to the auditorium from here, hurry up!

Haruka Nanami: Okay!

Cecil Aijima: Let us go in.

Ringo-sensei guides us through the hidden path and we make it to the backstage area.

Cecil Aijima: … Haa, haa, haa…. It seems like we made it.

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes….

Cecil Aijima: This really is the end. The beginning of the end…. I will never forget…. You are the only woman I will love for the rest of my life….

The last kiss.

Cecil Aijima: … !!!

Cecil-san gives me a mournful look and hugs me tightly.

Haruka Nanami: Cecil...san?

Cecil Aijima: The end… this is the end. Once I let go of your hand, this illusion—this love—will end. I do not want to go… but….

I want to begin your song. I want to tell you my feelings, but… I am scared. I will become alone again….

… Once he returns to his country, he’ll be all alone.

I will, too…. But….

Haruka Nanami: We won’t be alone. Even when we’re apart, our hearts are connected. Song will be what binds us together.

I want to stop him from leaving, but if I do that, Cecil-san will suffer.

This is how things should be.

Cecil Aijima: Haruka. You… are right. I cannot… let your song end here.

Cecil-san makes up his mind and raises his head.

Then….

Cecil Aijima: I will weave our music and my love for you….

Goodbye and thank you. My one and only... soulmate….

He walks forward onto the stage.

Chapter End

#utapri #cecil aijima #cecil repeat

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dalesramblingsblog · 8 months

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Think I've broadly settled on my approaches for both The Dying Days and The Well-Mannered War, which means that we are getting *very* close to the end of the 98 novels I originally set out to review, before I changed my mind along the way and decided to add in the Benny books and the later BBC lines.

Heads-up that The Dying Days is definitely going to be the more celebratory and self-indulgent piece. There's lengthy political analysis of the 1997 general election, at least one reference to Gordon Brown - a recurring Dale's Ramblings joke that only me and @cynicalclassicist probably find funny, but that I couldn't in good conscience ignore in what is essentially the series finale for this particular iteration of my reviews, even though there are 23 NAs past this point - and opinions on an all-female band from New York's 1990s post-punk/alternative rock scene thrown in as an aside.

The Well-Mannered War is... well, to be honest, that one's going to be bittersweet, and I've known that for a while. It's a big milestone as the final Virgin novel to feature the Doctor, but the identity of its author means I can't quite take the same tone that I would like to. I will probably be a lot more engaged with the text of the novel than I was with The Plotters, but equally a lot of it will focus on wrapping up my personal disillusionment with Roberts, and also briefly touching upon how this whole project did, in a very real sense, give me a will to live in the aftermath of my two suicide attempts in late 2017, because I wanted to convey just how much this nonsense has meant to me over the years as I bring to a close the chapter that I had originally envisioned back in the day. So... yeah, if you just want to skip that one and read the more straightforwardly triumphant and fun tone of The Dying Days, I wouldn't blame you.

But mostly I'm just glad anyone has ever supported this stuff at all, so in case you miss either of the big finale posts, for whatever reason, I'll just say now that I am so thankful for each and every person who's ever found Dale's Ramblings a worthwhile thing. I have met so many wonderful people through my writing, and I'm genuinely proud of the community I built up over the years. Some of them are only on Twitter, and some of them have rightfully left thanks to Melon Husk's lamentable bullshit, and some of them just plain dropped out of touch in that way acquaintances often do, so I can't thank each of them individually here, but I can honestly say that I have rarely ever had cause to regret any of the relationships I have forged through this endeavour. You're all wonderful people, and I'm proud to have ever considered you a part of the community, no matter how long you ultimately stayed.

Thank you all, and good night for now.

#dale's ramblings #tw suicide mention

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mytragedyperson · 8 months

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OK tumblr apparently hates me because twice now I've wrote out a relatively long slightly ramble post and it's let me click post and then just not posted, and as far as I can see there not in my drafts so, instead of that post, I will be watching all the episodes of bsd 5 tomorrow and just noting down any thoughts I have, probably mostly appreciating Ranpo and making fun of Fukuchi, because that's fun to me. However there are 2 thoughts that won't leave my head and so tumblr gets to have them.

So first of all I've seen manga panels of Dazai getting shot and presumably dying, which I guess is a spoiler but has also been all over tumblr and it looked like it was on twitter too. Quite frankly, I'm not buying it, and not just because I love Dazai and am living in denial. I've already been burned by BSD in this department of being convinced a character is dead and then bringing them back. I am, of course, talking about Margaret. I thought Akutagawa had killed her and then, a season later, she was brought back, albeit in a coma, to further a plot. Also this is Dazai, if anyone could come back from being shot in to head it's him. For all that he's suicidal and has no will to live, hes really bad at dying, which is good for those of us who like Dazai and I won't complain about that. The only people that have died and stayed so far are Oda and his orphans and Rando (I only watch anime). There may be others but I can't remember them. There were a couple characters who appeared in one episode and were killed off in the episode but everyone else has simply said no to death, which I can respect. Honestly they could get his body out of the prison and have a whole like funeral/memorial scene with all of the characters mourning him and I still wouldn't be fully convinced he's dead. So maybe it is slight denial but I stand by what I said.

My second thought was that I still feel sorry for Bram stoker. I dont care what terrible things he's done, he doesn't deserve the fate he's been given. I can just imagine Fukuchi going on and on about his plan, sounding so confident since he always has turn back time as a backup plan, and he just can't escape it. He's stuck forced to listen. That's the true evil right there.

Also I have a lot of thoughts about how Fukuchi is actually not a good villain, as in I'm not intimidated by him and don't truly see him as a threat. Like his sword is a threat, moreso when he weilds it, since he makes it more effective, but the guy himself? He should be more of a threat than he is. I'll address that tomorrow as I rewatch the episodes because its a big part of my mental commentary and making fun of Fukuchi hours. He might actually be one of the worst villains in the show. I'll address that on a later date. Another thought I'll be addressing tomorrow is my theory that Fyodor is the true leader of the Decay of Angels. Like if they had to listen to one of them regarding a plan they'd listen to Fyodor over Fukuchi. They just can't be bothered with Fukuchis attempts to murder or control them with the sword. Also, bing is my search engine and when I looked up who is the leader of the decay of angels? You know to double check it was Fukuchi, it had his name but the picture next to his name was Fyodor so do with that what you will. Anyway no more thoughts head empty.

Also if anyone has asks regarding anything to do with the BSD anime, I'd be happy to answer them because thinking about/discussing BSD is fun and I do have opinions on a lot of things

edit: change of plans. while i do still plan to do this it's gonna take a little longer. I have a blog, not a tumblr one, though, that I basically never use, so I'm gonna use that to note down any thoughts, opinions and just things in general that I feel like noting down. After I've done that, I'll share it here. Again, asks will be open and this will probably take me a while so, if anyone wants to discuss the BSD anime, feel free to send asks or messages or comment or whatever

#bsd #bungou stray dogs s5 #bungou stray dogs #bsd 5 spoilers #bsd manga #bsd manga spoilers #dazai osamu #fukuchi ouchi #bram stoker

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galactic-pirates · 1 year

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Nobody probably noticed that I didn’t ramble about Picard last Friday. Honestly I didn’t have the spoons and also honestly I just really didn’t care.

I think that was a situation where being less than halfway through TNG meant I didn’t have a stake in things. There was clearly an emotional callback with the guest character that I just had no context for.

BUT

Actually I think that is a sort of useful perspective? As without that nostalgia trip (as I only know what I read on wiki afterwards) I can tell you the episode made very little impact. It was like a non-episode.

I’m not sure do I still have to do spoilers? I guess it’s been less than a week, so warning.

The Worf and Raffi interaction was the highlight. Just give me a show of Raffi being badass snarky undercover.

They didn’t really bring the main plot along very much. It was like 2 mins around the “person from Picard’s past” nostalgia which just passed me by.

The whole “seeing peoples veins” thing that Jack Crusher is doing makes me think it’s connected to the changelings being able to replicate people more accurately. Honestly I still think he touched something he shouldn’t and maybe they need him to make their replicants perfect or something. I’m not sure. Honestly I’m expecting to be disappointed with this whole MacGuffin thing. It’s likely to fall flat.

@purlturtle theorised that Jack and Beverley were changelings. I would like this to be true as I really hate the plot of “secret baby” because they were friends before anything so still don’t understand why she would cut herself off from everyone to hide it. The whole “danger” thing… I don’t know. She just doesn’t strike me as someone afraid of hard decisions. Even if she made a decision made of fear when pregnant (and merlin knows I loathe blaming hormones because pregnant women can be sensible!) but yeah anyway, even handwaving she made an emotional fear decision, nothing stops her from taking it back. Yeah it would be “oh here’s a baby, sorry didn’t tell you sooner” but hiding it for 20 years? She is not that much of a coward.

Anyway I digress because while I hate this ^^ and think the character of Beverley Crusher deserves a hell of a lot better, I just can’t see that the proud writers who tweeted (oh boy I have something to say about that shit) about this “epic romance” when it came to Beverley and Picard talking when she explained keeping the secret - that wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t really Beverley. So it’s sad because it would be a cool theory but I just can’t see the writers going for that ‘moment’ and then be like ‘not really her’.

Anyway my last ramble is more of well kinda this I guess ^^ I am not on Twitter. Haven’t been in a decade or so. I had an account for a while when it first launched but deleted it. I saw some tweet feeds virtue of a Trek server I have now muted as I couldn’t take it anymore. I ranted about this in the nice Trek server a bit but people are shipping Seven and Shaw? Like I want to throw the man out of the airlock. He’s a piece of work. I haven’t experienced this level of dissonance of “hang on are we watching the same show?” since Once Upon a Time and the mess that was Hook and Emma as a ship.

I can’t believe that we’re getting to the half point of the season and Seven and Raffi haven’t been on screen together once. I want them very much to reunite and be together. I still want a spin-off. Give me Seven and Raffi and the Fenris Rangers, doing the friendly neighbourhood making a small part of the Galaxy better thing. Honestly though at this point I will settle for Seven just getting away from Shaw. It makes me blood boil that he has basically been emotionally abusive, taking advantage as the commanding officer, and there’s no justice.

Watching old Trek I have seen some gross stuff. I saw some last night on TNG with the holodeck producing Troi for Barclay to kiss. So so wrong. Where’s the consent? But anyway you can say it was 30 years ago and we can now see that’s wrong (it’s always been wrong but ok) but yet even new Trek seems to suffer from some very gross disturbing stuff and the poor female characters still don’t get any justice. I really would have hoped we were beyond this by now but apparently not.

Anyway hopefully next week will be better.

#picard spoilers #star trek: picard

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frostbite-the-bat · 1 year

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I rambled abt this on Discord to my friends, but, ironically enough, I hate the Discord/Tiktok-ification of everything.

I try to access information on some thing - but uh oh! I am linked to a Discord server to join, or a Tiktok account!

I don't use Tiktok, I am not going near that fucking app - and despite being a very, VERY active Discord user, I do not want to pointlessly join servers anymore! Especially if it's for one piece of info I just need about a game or a project!

And if I ask about this information elsewhere, or look up other people who are asking this question rather, they are often passively aggressively told "It's on the Discord just join it bro"

What if I don't want to? I shouldn't need to join a community intended for chatting just to access some information I may need once! I want websites back! I want custom WIkis back, because most Fandom Wikis on any topics are shitty and or extremely out-dated!!!

I hate this shit so much!!!

(More personal rambles about this below.)

This may be a personal thing, but for certain things I also hate getting my information off Youtube, but... This is a Roblox game fan specific issue for me, I think, and I shouldn't expect more from a community geared towards children, and we all know how many there views are from children.

But for other games, or projects, etc... I feel like we should just bring websites back for those. Hell... Even active blogs or Twitters may do, as long as they have actual, like, logs for longer things like accessible Google Docs with more info. Like, for example, I have gotten back into Club Penguin recently, and I have been playing on a nice private server, since the original game has shut down.

I really would like to meet the mascots - however, none of this info is listed anywhere! I remember there being fan-sites and other things dedicated to mascot trackers! Since this is a fairly small, fan-owned community - it surely wouldn't kill them to add trackers to their own site for the game?? Then again, even their community stuff isn't updated...

And guess what? The only place to access the time mascots may be meet-able in the game, are on a fucking Discord server! And for another game I was introduced to by a friend, which receives frequent updates - because it was first made popular thanks to Tiktok in the first place, a lot of information on it is there (in often, admittedly, hard to bear/annoying formats), and the only other place is a Discord server. Which I am actually a part of, even if I don't chat there, just because I had no other place for info to join. (Especially with the wiki updating very slowly for it.)

The community there does provide a bunch of info and their own stuff - and there is info on the game, though it is sometimes a bit hard to navigate through it. But, info in-game? Not much! But it does fit into the nature of the game, so it makes a bit more sense.

But what is no excuse is fully relying on your fans for info... Youtubers, Discord mods, and a shittily put-together, barely updated Wiki. My god, even on the Discord server there is basically ZERO proper update logs!! And often they just let fans hammer them on for the updates they put out, not to mention the mods there are fans, which are usually fucking teenagers. I know this is about a Roblox game, but it's ridiculous... But I won't ramble on it further, lol.

I do understand Roblox servers are easier to use than Forums, hell - despite joining some forums myself I... Am too scared to talk there. Well, same goes for Discord servers, but I am less-so scared I'll mess something up there. But still... That's for communication... There should be a separate place for information on things. Sure, info can be here, but like, the more fun, not extra necessary stuff, y'know???

I am not sure if I am the only one angry about this, but I am so annoyed I had to get it off my chest.

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gotouhitori · 1 year

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Idle thoughts about Twitter dying

So like with a lot of people, the imminent demise of Twitter has got me thinking about communication over the internet, and how that interacts with society as a whole.

The real problem, as I see it, is that humans just aren't suited to communication on the kind of scale that Twitter allows. For the vast majority of human history, there's been practical limits to the number of people anyone can interact with in any real way, and those are basically the limits we've evolved with. You have your family, your friends, people you work with, various other members of your community. A limited number of people you have to think about and talk to, but more importantly a limited number of people who are going to be directing their attention towards you, telling you things, demanding things of you, etc. This is why people who rise to national or international fame tend to lose the plot; it's more than people can cope with.

And platforms like Twitter basically put that on everyone. Everyone can say something that will, if they're really unlucky, get the whole world's attention. If it was just "This person said this thing. Anyway, moving on..." it wouldn't be so bad, but that's rarely the end of it. Everyone has their own piece to say about whatever issue it was. People pick over every little detail of what was said and who said it, and extrapolate all kinds of things from that, some occasionally vaguely approaching accurate. That it has to be wrong, because this person said it. That it must be true, because that person said it. That the person saying it must be a visionary saint because they said it. That the person saying it must be evil personified because they said it.

This didn't used to happen, not to anywhere near this kind of degree. The problem is that the internet is no longer a whole lot of small(-ish) communities largely focused around intersections of geographical location and subject/interest. Even the broader platforms like IRC networks back in the day worked because there was fragmentation; multiple different networks, each network consisting of countless different channels, no one person ever really being able to come to the attention of more than a handful of communities.

So what does all this mean for society as a whole? Well on the positive side, it's allowed various kinds of marginalised and misunderstood people to find others like them, to find acceptance, to have community, to live, rather than merely existing. But on the negative... the bigots, the toxic arseholes, they found others like themselves too. They gathered together, fed off and reinforced each other's worst aspects, worked together to bring about the maximum possible impact of their horrible ideologies in the real world. They always did that to some extent of course, but the kind of reach a massive platform like Twitter allows makes it much worse than it otherwise would be.

So what can be done about it? Buggered if I know. Twitter's probably going to die off, but people still have a tendency to gravitate to large platforms, so it's all just going to happen again on some other site. Some smaller sites might have the foresight to limit membership and keep things manageable, but being exclusive like that always has other problems, and in any case there's always going to be someone who thinks that they can handle being the big site everyone is on.

So why am I making this long-arse rambling post? Just getting things off my chest, I guess. Griping about the whole situation. To a certain extent being nostalgic for the good old days of how the internet used to be, and likely forgetting the various problems it had back then.

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