#i had to put up with all ur shit on twitter don't even START

[hitomisuzuya]

UR REQS R ON YAYYAYA :')) I loovee ur writing sm I've been meaning to request a scenario like brothers best friend scara x yn smut where scara comes over to hang out w ur brother but then sneaks off to our room?? Have a good day 🤭

Scaramouche x fem!reader. Smut. Modern AU. Fingering. Scara being a horny, sneaky little shit. Choose your own drink here, guys. For the sake of smooth narration I just put my choice.

He can sneak off to my room anytime😳🥰

Scaramouche couldn't lie and say that he didn't have an agenda in hanging out with your brother as often as he did. He'd had you in his crosshairs for awhile now. You both had made eyes at each other numerous times, and he'd gotten handsy with you a few times in passing in the kitchen or the hallway. His fingers always just barely started brushing and groping on your skin before an unwelcome intrusion interrupted him.

Tonight though, he more than noticed that you weren't wearing a bra underneath that clingy shirt, your legs exposed to him by those tiny black shorts. Legs that would look better wrapped around his head while he ate you out.

Your brother was pretty invested in the video game he was playing. How very convenient for him. He didn't even notice when Scaramouche left the living room and headed upstairs, making a beeline right for your room.

Your bedroom door was open a little bit. Scaramouche tapped it open with the knuckle of his finger. You were stretched out on your bed, scrolling through something on your phone.

His eyes were immediately drawn to the way your breasts bounced when you suddenly sat up to greet him. "H-Hey, Scara," You said shyly, your heart pounding.

It was inevitable that you would develop a crush on one of your brother's friends. Scaramouche was that friend. It had taken you hours to get up the courage to leave your room and walk by him without a bra on to get his attention.

He flopped down on the corner of your bed, snatching your phone out of your hand. He held it above his head so you would have to really reach for it. You would have to get in close to him that way.

"I would've brought you one of your gross strawberry daiquiri drinks from the fridge, but I didn't want to taste sugary crap on your mouth when I kiss you," He said, cutting off your protests, "and Twitter is a bunch of nonsense anyways," He tossed your phone to the other side of your bed.

"I..Huh?" You froze. You were clearly flustered and Scaramouche was eating it up. You were in your room alone with him, he'd noticed something so little as what you liked to drink and he said he wanted to kiss you.

"Hmmm?" He purred teasingly, putting a hand on your shoulder as he leaned in towards you. The blush on your cheeks darkened. When you didn't push him away, he took that as consent.

His lips captured yours in a hungry kiss, parting your lips with his tongue to explore your mouth as he pushed you down onto the bed. You moaned into his mouth, melting into the kiss. Pulling away, he sat on his knees between your legs, his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt.

"You want me too, don't you?" Scaramouche teased, brushing his fingers over your stomach. You nodded. "Yes," You couldn't deny it. It was written all over in the way your body was reacting to him.

You sat up so he could tug your shirt over your head. He unbuttoned your shorts before taking off his shirt, his hand immediately folding over one of your breasts. God, he'd wanted to grope your breasts all night.

His fingers pinched and flicked your nipple, tracing the tip of his finger slowly around it. "Look at you squirm," He taunted, soaking in every eager moan from you as his hand trailed down your stomach and into your shorts.

Waves of pleasure made your clit throb and your panties soak as he cupped your cunt, his fingers prodding and rubbing your swelling clit outside of your panties. "Mmph-please--" You moaned, moving your hips up so he could dispense with your shorts.

You moved your panties aside, seeking friction from his fingers. Scaramouche licked his lips scooping your slick to coat his fingers. "Go on, slut. Fuck yourself on them," He scissored your walls apart as you rolled your hips up.

He stroked and palmed his cock, watching his fingers slid in and out of you. You were making the cutest expressions as you fell apart for him. Your walls clenched tight around his fingers, your moans sounding shameless as he curled them over your sweet spot.

Scaramouche made no move to try and make you be quiet. It was very evident he didn't give a shit if your brother heard him impaling you in his cock. "I don't have to ask to ask you to beg for it, do I?" You shook your head, rubbing your clit for him once he pulled your panties off and did away with the rest of his clothes.

"Fuck me, please! Please, Scara, please," You pleaded, earning a praising smack on your clit. You yelped in pleasure, you legs shaking while you quivered with need.

Scaramouche took his cock and hastily lined it up with your sopping hole. "Fucking take all of it," He groaned, pushing his cock inside of you with a fluid snap of his hips. "You are all mine now," All his to fuck, love and enjoy.

He pounded his cock inside of you, his body shuddering in pleasure as it throbbed between your clenching walls. He bullied his cock into your sweet spot until your body was twitching from the tell tale signs of being close to your release.

"Fuck, you sound so pretty cumming," He moaned, dropping his head down into your neck as his thrusts turned sloppy. He nuzzled into your neck when your release gushed out around his cock. You clung to him, babbling between moans about how good he was making you feel.

Scaramouche muffled a long moan into your neck, his cock gobbing cum inside of you. You couldn't have sounded sweeter crying for him to make you cum again.

#genshin impact #genshin smut #fem!reader #genshin imagines #scaramouche #scaramouche smut #modern au #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you

[king-dumbasz]

Hi🫶🏻🫶🏻 could u do a mammon oneshot that takes place after fizz quits.(pretending the twins don’t exist) Like the reader is like the new face of his brand. Ppl start shipping the reader and him online, so he goes along with it for clout and money. But they both eventually end up catching feelings. ( ik it’s rlly specific but I keep thinking about it) also I like ur writing 💜

The internet is a magical place💚

I immediately liked the request and had an idea in mind. It's not something too difficult so my mind was happy Lmao

TW:why do I even put it in if there's never anything to worry about except for swear words, but c'mon, it's Helluva Boss

Mammon x GN! Reader

The news were full of what happened at the last clown pageant. Everything was about Fizzarolli and his relationship with Asmodeus and how Mammon was ridiculed...

Mammon was FURIOUS

He needed a new face, a new someone to put everywhere and make money. He did everything until he finally found it... He found you.

You were perfect! You were funny, good looking and great for the audience! The perfect clown to replace Fizzarolli!

Mammon immediately made plushies, cereal, service bots (you choose what kind of service), hell, even a body pillow of ya!

Phone cases... Halloween costumes for kids... Lamps... Everything!

You became a star!

But like every star, you were a victim of the internet effect of the rule too

For some unknown reason, people shipped you and Mammon

No one knew why, but when you opened your phone, on Envybrl (Tumblr), on Sintter (Twitter or X), there were fanart of you and Mammon

All kind of Fanart! (I know I don't do NSFW, but when I say any kind, I mean any kind)

Mammon saw it too, a lot of it too

"What is that? Wh- why are we hugging in this one?"

He says, pointing at his phone, looking at a fanart of him and you cuddling

"i don't know, sir... The internet scares me"

"Ye..."

Mammon didn't understand why. When Fizzarolli was there no one made these things, but with you it was different

The more Mammon watched, the more he realized how beautiful you looked, and how he liked these fanarts

Mammon started to like every post and imagine these things were true...

Every day, you find a new gift at your door from an unknown person, even if it wasn't that unknown because the wrapping was green black and yellow

One day though, Mammon decides to Rizz you up, because obviously he won't do it normally

"Sir, you wanted me here?"

You said after being called in his office, only to find Mammon in his special valentine outfit (It's just the old one but pink and with hearts)

"Hey, Are you a Wi-Fi signal? Because I’m feeling a strong connection"

That was horrible, adorable, but horrible

"Sir... What?"

"oh, shit uh... Well, I'm out of lines"

"What is happening?"

"Well, I never thought that would've happened, since you're a lower class and shit- but, I found myself liking these fan arts mentally unstable people post of us.."

"Oh!"

You were stunned. Mammon. THE Mammon... Likes you?"

"Well... If I'm gonna be honest... I also found myself liking some of those posts..."

Mammon didn't realise at first and looks at you confused (Idiot)

"I like you too"

Just after you tell him he realises. Mammon smiles widely and hugs you with his four arms, so tightly you couldn't breath

"oh, you're a bloody legend, Y/N!"

"Eh... The internet is really a magical place..."

#i love him #he's so stupid #hb mammon #helluva mammon #helluva boss #helluva boss mammon #helluva boss x reader #mammon x reader hb #mammon x reader #mammon x reader helluva boss #helluva boss mammon x reader #vivziepop #oneshot #mammon helluva boss #gn y/n #hellaverse

[charliespringverse]

iwbft — tuesday: a brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 136

· ouch/ow/owie: 12

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 5

· aroace: 2

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 9

Rowan is on his front, one arm slung over Jimmy's chest. Jimmy's head is tilted ever so slightly towards Rowan. — i've woken up like this with at least half my friends

The shipping itself isn't a major inconvenience to any of us. If anything, it keeps the fans interested. They think Judgement Day will eventually come and there'll be a big reveal that Rowan and I are secretly in love. There won't. We're not. — @larry shippers in the year of our lord 2023

It's always sort of been Rowan and Jimmy, plus Lister. We still love him of course. But that's just the way it is. — PAIN (note: this is all caps, huge, and triple underlined)

'I talk about The Ark all the time. I don't know why this was a surprise.' 'Fereshteh, it was a little bit of a surprise to me too.' 'Why?' 'I suppose... I suppose I never thought you actually cared about this band that much.' — parents vs actually listening to and validating their interests (failed, always)

Juliet chuckles weakly and looks away. I know she's had some bust-ups with her parents in the past. — understatement of the millennium

I'm an optimist. I like to believe that love exists. — it Does it just isn't always romantic/sexual. but it exists So Much

'I feel bad... feeling so happy when they're probably upset,' — ur so close to getting it queen

'Can't we just go home?' Lister mumbles. 'No,' she says. — foreshadowing innit

Rowan and I follow him immediately, like there's a string attaching us — ... invisible string addition to the folklore trilogy?

Lister tells us to go away, but Rowan just walks up to him and starts rubbing his back as he throws up. — ♡ listerowan bestieism

There's a big window on one side of the bathroom. Big enough to climb out, probably. We're on the ground floor. We could just climb out and run. Get up and go. — FORESHADOWING INNIT

Being trans has been a pretty you can big part of my life so far, thanks, but that shouldn't be particularly relevant here, in an interview about our music. — u can Never escape other ppl's obsession w ur transness

Dave laughs and says again, 'Now that's honesty.' — FUCK YOU DAVE (note: this is all caps, huge, and quadruple underlined)

I ask God to give me a bit of extra patience. Because every time Mac speaks, I sort of want to put an entire bag of cotton wool in his mouth. — what God is for x

Being a male fan of obscure old bands is, for some reason, more acceptable than being a female fan of a twenty-first-century boy band. — (also the obscure old bands are rarely that obscure. they're one direction for old white men)

They know exactly who they are. They put it in their blog about' page, they put it in their Twitter bio. I never know what to put in my Twitter bio so I usually just put an Ark lyric in there. — and when u enter ur confident aro-ace era? what then?

I like to think God does have a plan for everyone. But I also think there's too much shit in the world for all these plans to be perfect ones. Or maybe God doesn't have time to write a plan for everyone. And some of us are just trying our best and getting it a bit wrong. — i think this is why faith doesnt work for me

Everything's still there, though. My journals, my guitar, my main laptop, my childhood teddy bear, and the knife that Grandad gave me when I was sixteen. — now i want to know what he would admit to in one of them essentials interviews

It'd be useless as an actual weapon, since it's completely blunt - you can run your finger along the edge and not even get a scratch. — hhhh foreshadowing innit ☹

Not that he particularly goes seeking it. Everyone just wants to be friends with Lister Bird. — and yet he cares most abt getting closer to the two he shouldn't have to try for ☹

David [Tennant] thought she wanted a selfie, when in fact she was just trying to find the nearest toilet. — iconic

'Now, there'd better be some fucking Capri-Suns somewhere around here.' — me @ every function

When they were together they both seemed to stop worrying about everything else in their lives - Rowan was no longer an overworked band boy and Bliss was no longer a struggling student. They were just together. — ☹ justice for laimondi

Then he leans in and presses his lips against mine. Oh. Okay. Fine. This is fine. Can't say I realised this conversa- tion was going in this direction, but fine. — BAD (note: this is all caps, huge, and double underlined)

'But we're gods, Jimmy. What's better than that?' — pain. suffering. agony. heartache. torture, torment, anguish.

Holding it makes me feel real. It reminds me that I was born. That my life is something other than this birdcage I'm trapped in. Isn't it? Isn't it? — has his therapist ever discussed depersonalisation with him?

#iwbftreread #les go day 2 babey #(i reas this a lot earlier in the day i've just not rlly had the chance to access tumblr while travelling) #anygay less longwinded post coming later

[hazbincalifornia]

(I’m pretty sure the way I type is recognizable but I need to like pretend at anonymity bc I feel. Remarkably silly about this)

I wanted to like idk rant to someone in the HB fandom who isn’t balls deep in the “anti proship” sphere bc like, I’ve been struggling w guilt over enjoying a certain ship that everyone hates and considers problematic (I think Loona and Octavia is rlly cute!) and I’d like to make content for it but I also rlly fear being seen as like a pedophile. Do u ever worry abt that kind of thing? And is there anyway ur able to get over it if u do? I don’t like getting into anti/anti anti discourse bc I feel like it’s a very reductive way to view and interpret media but I still have a crazy amount of worry/guilt

First off, it is still ridiculous to me that this is even a problem in this fandom. This is an adult show about characters in Hell, and the main characters are, respectively, assassins and the eclectic cast of the Hotel which includes a cannibal serial killer. (I am eternally both amused and completely baffled that like half the awful puritanical takes I see are from Val icons. Buddy. Pal. The fucked up fiction is coming from inside the house.) I saw waaaaay more fucked up shit on Zim nsfw twitter than I see on Hellaverse twitter and that show was Y7. Up your game, guys.

Personally, I don't really see Loona and Via as siblings/sisters as much as I think a lot of others do, more just friends (and honestly I think canon moved much too quickly to give them such a heartfelt scene together, they hadn't even met officially before that point?) so it's really only the age thing and even then, the plot of HB has seemed to imply that a fair amount of time has passed since the series started, probably around a year- so Via would be 18 or older by the time anything actually started anyway, especially if they became friends first. Setting aside the 'justification' though... they're not real. They're cute together, I agree, and I think you should be perfectly fine enjoying them just in the lens of 'they're similar, I like how they'd interact, and I think they're cute together'!

I was pretty much forged in my opinions about this from Invader Zim stuff, where people insisted that liking two characters that I'd liked together since I was thirteen made you a pedophile. Obviously, I could tell that wasn't true, because it had never been the case in all those years up to people starting to be bitchy about it in 2019. (Before that, it was that it was bad because it was enemies to lovers and, more importantly, gay. Great hater throne to inherit, guys!)

Unfortunately... as stupid as it is, this fandom is way more puritanical than it should be, so it wouldn't be wrong to engage through anonymity to protect yourself. Find the people in the tag who are using 'proship/proship interact' or something along those lines (I've seen a few, although some tend to lean more on hard/dead dove content), post on ao3 into the anonymous collection which removes your name, make a tumblr sideblog that doesn't connect to your main, find fellow shippers and interact with them specifically. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe from people who can't understand that thinking something is cute or interesting to explore in fiction is automatically bad just because they don't like it. The more stuff that's put out there about the ship, the more likely you are to find kindred spirits, that's honestly part of how I gathered my mpreg weirdos to me in both this fandom and the last.

I'm pretty sure that the callout I got for Sunny was why several mutuals who were a friend group unfollowed (and likely muted) me on twitter. Unfortunately, it left me worrying that the other shoe was going to drop any day for about a week because it got just enough notes to make me worry but not enough to get to anyone with any real reach to spread and get it 'over with'.

At this point, I've sort of reached a state of 'fuck it', because if it happens, it happens. I know that I'm fine, and the people I genuinely care about know that too. I know that what I'm making is entirely separate from my morals as a person, if not from how dumb the IZ stuff was than from the fact that I was an English major. Literature is full of stuff that authors don't make as a 1:1 with their real-life morals! And the one you're thinking about isn't 'bad' comparatively at all.

I think the fandom is starting to see that being a dick about fictional content is bad through the backlash to Poison and 'hey, maybe telling somebody that they need to detail their trauma to the public to make fiction is bad?', but it seems to mostly be centered on dub/noncon, so I wouldn't necessarily hold my breath.

At the end of the day though, remember this: You, as a person, are completely fine, no matter what others might think. Octavia and Loona would probably be seen as a totally normal ship like ten years ago (except for people who'd be dicks about them being gay) and there is no judgement to be made on your character in any reasonable way for thinking they're a good ship. You're not a pedophile for thinking a fictional owl and hellhound look cute together, any more than I was for smacking together two Nicktoon characters, and frankly the IZ argument held slightly more water than 'the almost-18-year-old and the 22-year-old' because Zim's age was so ambigious. Try explaining this 'people think the young adult animals holding hands are bad' to any adult who isn't sucked into fandom discourse and they'd probably be baffled that it's a problem.

I know that the guilty feelings aren't always rational and it took a bit of time for me to unwind how I felt about creating certain stuff too, but try to remember that above all else- exploring things in fiction has been a thing people have done for a very, very long time. What matters is your actions towards other real people, not what you do with fictional dolls.

If nothing else, if you want you can always send me a dm and chat that way, I'd be happy to talk.

#discourse #asks #anonymous

[creativeartgal]

Ok so Im just going to rant for a bit. Sorry if it not coherent.

Yo devs what the hell!!! Why didn't you give Asmo a bday event. If your going to stop doing events then couldn't you have waited till Lucifer's bday? Dude ain't even my favorite but I'm still annoyed at this shit. Also I really don't like that the URs are going to be in nightmare now. I loved that Obey me did full events for characters bithdays. It was nice to read through the events even when it wasn't my favorite character. I thought that they were really cute. The only other time a game I played had that was when Mystic Messenger did it for Zen and it was more just an April Fool's event that was also his bday. Idk. Just sucks dude. I mean if you were going to stop doing events then finish all the bdays first. It just seems like incomplete that the other brothers having 3 bday events while Asmo will only have 2. Granted same would be the case for the side characters also but I mean the bros are the main focus so whatever still sucks for them too. Also something I didn't notice till I saw on Twitter there's no ssr for Asmo. I'm hoping it will come later like what they did for his ssr in the past event but I'm not optimistic about it.

Going back to the cards I really don't like it being a gatcha thing. I liked that it was possible to get a ur relatively easy (for me at least) if I just made sure to save up for it before hand. For a while that was how I got most of my URs when I first started. Like I already got to deal with that in twist for their bdays. And I have the worst gatcha luck in twist the last time I got an ssr was because I summoned 100x in the normal gatcha. Granted I have better luck when it comes to obey me but that's not the point. Honestly I'm not really sure if I wanna try to get Asmos card or if I should just hold on to my DV for when it's Mammon bday since it's most likely how all bday will go so far. (Sorry I am a simp for that man)

Also what the hell is with the yoga ball in the wanderer whereabouts? I thought that it would cost karma. Probably a little more than normal. But you have to pay money for it!? Dude I haven't even gotten any of the items using karma and now you gonna ask for actual money for this thing? Idk ever since nb came out I feel like the devs have been more money hungry. Like you can only get 10 DV with ravens, you actually need multiple versions of a card to fully level it up and more to raise the level even more and over really seems like they want f2p players like me to spend money. I wish I could say that it would make stop playing but I really enjoy the main story and want to see where the story goes so I will still be playing so I guess will still have to put up with this. Hell I'm probably going to forget about it after posting this cause at the end of the day it's a company. They are going to do whatever they want that they think will give them more money. Sure we can bitch and moan all we want but they probably aren't going to do anything about it.

So yeah sorry for the long rant just needed to get this out.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #rant #honestly i do still love the game but just not enjoying some the changes #i know its probably more if a me thing but whatever

[creedslove]

LOVE LOVE LOVE HOW UR BUILDING UP THE PLOT!!!!

Loved part 3 so much!!!!!! <333

I just hope you don’t rush with the story, you’re an amazing writer I am so impressed, I usually only see smut or the storyline doesn’t resonate or feels forced. The fact that for once you’re giving so much thought into this, you’re building the anticipation, you have gotten us rooting for the reader, even if you write 100 parts of the story I know it’ll all be amazing because you’re great at delivering !!

For a long time I was looking for a fic with Pedro x reader but writers only choose his characters from shows/movies. I wonder what made you think to start writing about him and not his characters?

Take care writer, you’re putting amazing work out here, we love uuuuu <3

🤍🩶🤍🩶🤍

thank you so much anon, your words are motivating and really sweet! ❤️💖

I don't think I'll rush any chapters I mean, all the chapters were absolutely not planned, I wrote Betrayed as an one shot but people got into it and asked for a part two, which brought a part three, then part four and five (that's being written right now) I have absolutely no idea how many chapters we still have ahead, I just hope I won't go into any writer's block because I'm really enjoying this story and the ideas come naturally and when they don't, I get lots of amazing anon suggestions to work on, so I feel really lucky, to see people are actually invested.

I'm happy you are enjoying it, when I write a story, I try to write something interesting it would catch my attention and I would read it if I someone else had written it, you know what I mean? And I've always loved angst with happy endings, but I like the build up more than the ending when it's done properly and I noticed there's a lot Pedro stories that are rushed to the happy ending, which I don't blame because honestly who wouldn't want to live happily ever after with that man lmao and he is all the time a ray of sunshine to reader which I also enjoy because it brings us comfort when we read it but I thought to myself: what if he is just a normal guy who screws up like everyone else and is too stubborn to admit it? And people enjoyed that portrait! And we all project ourselves into reader, just like I said in another ask, in my mind reader is me just like she is you when you reader and so on, so we honestly just root for ourselves to be strong enough to fend for ourselves no matter how hot Pedro is while breaking our heart 😂😂😂

And the main reason why I began writing about Pedro is because I got into him because of him and not his characters. I had never watched anything he was on and I always saw people gushing about him on Twitter but never got the fuss about it, until about a month or so when whenever I logged on Instagram random pictures or reels of him would show up in my suggestions. I would usually ignore them until I came across that one where he talks about how people usually pronounce 'Pedro' and then he tells the interviewer his full name, using his beautiful accent and as I study Spanish I just LOVED the sound of that. Then other videos of him would appear and I would send them to my friend who really loves him because it reminded me of her. So I went from this guy isn't that ugly to he's not ugly at all to holy shit he's very handsome.

But the cherry on top was about three weeks ago I was going through a rough time where my immune system wasn't great or whatever and I was constantly sick, I had been sick for over a month before that and each week I would have a different problem lol and that week i was again sick and it just drained me emotionally because i was feeling so weak and all the antibiotics I took made me feel physically bad as well and my work schedule was hectic as always, long story short I was a walking corpse that week until I began dreaming about him at night.

The first time I dreamed about Pedro, it was silly but also really sweet, I dreamed I was at the mall, running some errands and with my headphones on, then the song 'Otro día que va' by RBD began playing and I sang along to it and it caught his attention because it was in Spanish so he made small talk and we began chatting, then he invited me for lunch and it was adorable because it was kinda a lunch day. So when I woke up I felt so happy and comforted about the dream and the following nights I also dreamed about him, he was always so sweet in flirty in my dreams and we spoke a lot of Spanish that spiced up things a little bit lol and by the end of the week I already had a massive crush on him, lol

But I wrote for one of his characters: Javier Peña because he makes me feel things™ and I'll probably write more when inspiration comes, just like I'll probably write for Joel Miller in the future because he also makes me feel things™ but so far, my main focus is nuestro dulce pedrito porque lo amo 💖

Thanks a lot anon, your ask was amazing and don't forget the only reason I write it's because of you all and how amazing and support of my work you all are!

❤️❤️❤️

#ask #answered #pedro #pascal

[eroticcannibal]

Hey Risu I think ud have some sound advice about this... I want to learn to draw n be an artist (digitally) but my brain screams when I try cos I'm new n not good at all and idk how to counteract the brain so I can draw shitty things until I get good.... It's hard to have fun when my brain is saying I'm shit and should quit :( Any advice? (I love ur art on ur art blog BTW... Ur art is good but like, not what I'm used to seeing and it's kinda nice to see how a hobby artist art looks cos I'm so used to more professional artists who take comms on twitter)

I was thinking of doing some of my shitty art to song lyrics (they're some of my fav, I draw my ocs in some sort of pose and then slap the lyrics on top in fancy font text or write it on my drawing tablet by hand) - and just don't care how bad it looks but I'm unsure if I can get my brain to not scream at me for not being enough long enough to do it :(

Any advice would be nice <3 p.s. My art is so bad it's like a kid trying to draw (derogatory but only at me) n I don't really have anyone in my life for support cos if it's not good they don't care :/// (well I have one friend, he's also a hobbyist as well, rarely draws cos he has the same issue of not being good and perfect type deal)

Oh hey its how I feel about my art 24/7 (and how most artists do!) So I will run u through all the things I find helpful

Listen. Brains are little bitches, ok? They LIE. They are MEAN. You need to practice telling ur brain to shut up. Like "hey, thats not fucking nice, I'm not listening to u until u have something helpful to say!" And its hard, cus its you, but with practice it gets easier to ignore ur brain being on one. Treat it like a toddler who is kicking off and calling u mean names cus u won't give it chocolate. "Thats nice dear im busy with my art". Like u gotta remember, for anyone trying to get started with art, it looks like a kid trying to draw because that's when most people stopped drawing. Same with any other skill u stop in childhood. My kid struggled so much with handwriting due to being ND that it switched to typing and guess what? Still has the handwriting u would expect from a small child. Because it stopped writing as a small child. I have the coordination with running and throwing of a young kid cus thats when I stopped doing sports. People who stop reading books young will find it harder to read books for an older audience. U do those kiddy drawings, do lots of them, you WILL get better.

Another thing. Heres a secret. For every artist, the majority of what they produce is shit. No really, all of them. Not just the crap you have to produce to git gud, but like, every amazing piece of art you have seen has like at least 5 fucked up sketches that got scrapped. Whole bits of painting that got covered up. All art is made up of mistakes and fuck ups. And even if u are sat there going wow this is perfect! The artist is DYING because they can see a hundred little mistakes that u cant. Art is all about perspective and honestly the perspective of the artist is the worst one. We are too familiar with the details to see our art for what it really is.

The thing that helped me most tho was when I went to art museums in Paris. I saw so much "good" art and im like. OK. This is technically good I guess? But it was kinda meh. The museum of modern art was the most disappointing cus, and listen I stan modern art ok there was some good shit in there, but there was a fucking rack of skis. Someone gone bought some skis and put them away and thats art. Hello? Oh someone painted some squares and came up with some deep meaning and im meant to be impressed. And then I go outside for a fag and I open tumblr and see some crappy 2 minute MSpaint vent art and u know what? It made me fucking feel. It make me feel like NOTHING in that museum had. Who is fucking deciding what "good" art is? I dont remember being consulted! I dont think I fucking agree that "good" art is good! I think shit art is good! Some fucking ship art scribbles has more meaning for me than the fucking mona Lisa, yknow?

And then I went to an exhibit of Picasso's sketches and doodles. Napkins with little scribbles on and shit. And they were so normal. Nothing impressive. And it was wonderful. I've done better sketches! I promise u u have done better than some of that stuff. Honestly so many artists aren't even "better", they're just successful. And idk but I think success is a poor way to measure arts worth.

There is a genuine magic to a hobby artist just. Doodling what makes them happy. Not for money, not for fame, not for skill, just because they want to. Art for arts sake, yknow?

Also I understand it can be very hard to share ur work but I would encourage u to do so with ppl u trust to give u fair feedback. Feel free to send me what u make I will be more than happy to tell u how great it is

[grgie]

I posted 1,266 times in 2022

That's 166 more posts than 2021!

59 posts created (5%)

1,207 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dingdongyouarewrong

@deathbyfiction

@colemckenzies

@spyderverse

@leaf-is-tired

I tagged 356 of my posts in 2022

#helena talks to the void - 29 posts

#goncharov - 16 posts

#helena speaks to people - 15 posts

#unreality - 12 posts

#knife gang - 12 posts

#taz duck - 5 posts

#work things - 4 posts

#my posts - 4 posts

#hmm - 3 posts

#tagged - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#he is also slightly blue bc i once got bright blue bedsheets without washing them first and they stained everything (including my skin) blue

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i never give customers my name at work whenever they ask for it, not because i dont want them to use it to report me to my managers (although thats a bonus) but because of the fae. "can i have your name?" no :) nice try tho you tricky bastards

13 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

#4

uglystudies → grgie

url change!! i now track #grgie (although i'll still keep an eye on the uglystudies tag too, i just wont be reblogging study content to this blog anymore)

19 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

#3

my friend knows nothing about the dsmp or dream and george and is trying to put the pieces together through twitter

23 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

#2

a lil timelapse of me finishing and submitting my dissertation (32 minutes before the deadline) but i realised that this is likely the last study post i'll ever make (not that i was ever regularly posting lol) so its a little bittersweet! ive had this studyblr since 2015 (seven years holy shit thats a long time) and i do think its been an incredibly important part of my life, for better or worse. i started this blog in an attempt to hold myself more accountable whilst studying for my gcses and i think for most part it was helpful (ignoring 2016/17 studyblr... muji and overexposing our pictures really had a grip on us huh) despite the weirdly large number of asks i got from people telling me that i shouldnt do 5 a-levels (i did 5 and i aced all of them. suck it. AND i did an epq as well! extra suck it!)

apparently theres 15k of you, which i simply do not think is true (i imagine the vast majority of my followers are made up of long abandoned studyblrs) but for those of you who continue to stick around and like my silly little posts, even if we don't interact, ur huge and i appreciate u. ive made some many wonderful (and hopefully lifelong) friends as a result of studyblr and genuinely wouldnt change it for the world :')

i've mentioned this in the tags of a post recently but im going to change my url soon to a non study related one because im not studying anymore lol, but dw im not deleting this blog or anything, this blog has always been very loosely defined as a studyblr so you can expect plenty more dracula daily memes in the near future

also yikes that is not the most flattering angle lmao

44 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

[getting validation from mutuals about my spotify wrapped songs]: ah yes, i am winning in being a good mutual with good music taste, something both normal and possible to achieve

172 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[d4t-webserial]

D4T Extras: "Alice's Page 7"

//cw: transphobic, homophobic, and ableist slurs // go here for more info on d4t

She lays on her bed for a while sitting in her anxiety, unsure what their relationship even was anymore. After a while he responds to her text.

trashbag_minister (Lu): “it’s… complicated”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “i’ll try to answer questions as good as i can…”

She takes him up on that in fact she asks *alot* of questions, he doesn’t do a good job answering but she thinks that’s probably her fault (everything she was saying was pretty retarded). Thinking on it more she realized that her weird feelings about it probably was more about her than it was him. So she decided she just needed some time to think.

She couldn’t really talk to anyone else about this, and when she tried looking into detransition all she found new fun ways to hate herself. Now she only had access to google and twitter which might not be the best places to look, but she wouldn’t know where to find communities where trans supportive detransitioners (detrans people? detrannies?) hung out, people like Lu… even he said he didn’t know any other detrans people, not in person or online. So instead she just thought about it, she was kinda confused but she thought to herself “what would i want someone who had no idea what transness was to do”, he just… thought he was a girl, but wasn’t (right?). Did it have to be more complicated than that? He always treated her nice, he never said transness was wrong or unnatural. And he… expected her to leave kinda, like he didn’t say it he’d just say “i’ll understand if things can’t go back because of this” bracing himself for her to not be supportive, not be kind, she *hated* that, she hated that way more than she gave a shit he used to be a tranny. He was way too kind to need to have that reaction, like he didn’t *do* anything, not to her at least. He was just… himself.

She missed him, she wanted to be near him, and she wanted him to kiss her despite his gender bullshit. Hell if she was fine with him being a tranny why not be fine with him being a “detrans” boy, he was still *her* boy…

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “r u free today?”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “ye, why?”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “can i hang at urs?”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “sure thing”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “yay!”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “when will you get here btw”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “around 20 minutes”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “❤️❤️❤️❤️”

She was so excited, nervous too but more so excited. She was gonna tell him she liked him… again, but like… it’s different this time cause she knows he’ll reciprocate.

When he comes to get her, she remembers how pretty he is. She just… stares at him for a second but before too long she snaps out of it and says hi. It started to dawn on her how scary this was, like she *thinks* he likes her but she doesn’t *know* he likes her, what if the detrans thing was his way off getting her to back off. She continues to spiral about this until Lu tells her they arrived at his campus, she tries to put the words together in her head as she gets to his dorm, but by the time she’s there she hasn’t gotten far. She realizes as she was about to talk that just coming out trails blazing talking about it might be… awkward (she wouldn’t want him to think she just came here to get with him… she really does miss him). So she tries to make some meaningless conversation but…

Lu: “Is there something you wanna talk about?”

Alice: “...”

(god damn it! stop being so fucking observing you bitch)

Alice: “yeah…”

his pretty brown eyes are staring into her soul

(okay… here goes nothing)

Alice: “I don't super know what your detransition means to you…”

Alice: “... i mean, i tried to learn, but there aren’t many… resources or anything”

Alice: “anyway i don’t know what it means, but i still like *you*”

he lets out a deep breath 

Lu: “Cool…”

(cool?!? the fuck does that mean)

Alice: “...”

Alice: “Do you… like me too?”

Lu: “Oh… you meant like *like like*.”

(this fucking retard…)

Alice: “Yeah no fucking duh, also who says ‘like like’ past the age of ten”

Lu: “i don’t umm…”

(fuck fuck fuck… she shouldn’t have assumed she’s so fucking stupid)

Alice: “Do you not? It’s okay if you don’t i… just thought you did…”

Lu: “No i d-do- i do, i just…”

(SHE FUCKING KNEW IT!!!)

Lu: “You shouldn’t,,n’t l-like me.”

(oh-no what gayass shit was this faggot gonna say now… he’s lucky she finds him so cute)

Alice: “Why???”

Lu: “Be-be-be-cau-cause you can do better-ter…”

(THATS RETARDED)

Alice: “That’s retarded!”

Lu: “L-Lys! You can’t sssay that!”

(shut the fuck up you stupid virgin bitch)

Alice: “Jesus fucking christ Lu, i… i just *fucking confessed to you*, and you respond with the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard, i can respond however the fuck i god damn want!”

Lu: “go-ju-Alice! I- it’s- god like you- you- you could- could have any s-s-ssself respecting man you want, you sh-shouldn’t se–se-set-t-tle for… *me*”

Alice: “I’m not settling, i *like* you, you’re smart and caring and sweet, why wouldn’t i like you.”

he looks like he can’t even understand the language she’s speaking

Lu: “Why *w-would* you! I’m a fu-fu-fu shit fuck god damn it! I’m a- I’m a fucking pathetic little shit preten-pretending to be a man, i-i-i can b-b-b-barely even s-sb-sp-speak, i…

he’s never stuttered this much before, he’s crying and she doesn’t know why, so she just reaches out to him

Alice: “Are you okay?”

Lu: “...ye i just, it’s nothing, my brain is stupid sometimes”

(she already knew that, but he seems to be talking about something else)

Alice: “That's okay, i’m sorry for getting you worked up.

Alice: “I’m just… if you like me and i like you there isn’t any real reason not to date right?”

Lu: “But it’s more,, complicated than that-t”

(don’t blow up on him)

Alice: “Why? Why does it have to be?”

Lu: “Because of all the s-st-stuff i said.”

Alice: “But i don’t care about any of that.”

he pulls back and looks a bit away from her

Lu: “I don’t even have a f-f-d-di-dick Alice… how would that- how would that even work”

(oh shit)

Alice: “Tons of people make that work.”

Lu: “But you shouldn’t- you shoulnt have too, your boy-boyfriend should be a real man not a tr-tr-trans girl in denial”

(trans girl in denial?)

Alice: “You could be my girlfriend then, we don’t hav-”

Lu: “I don’t want to be your girlfriend!”

(she feels her insides twisting)

Alice: “...”

Alice: “ok”

after a while she says

Alice: “I want to go home”

.

.

.

Lu: “ok… can i go to the bathroom first”

Alice: “of course”

Lu walks towards his bathroom

Fuck… why was he being so retarded. Did he hate himself so much that he can’t even allow someone else to love him, fuck… did she love him… no not important, he made his feelings known, if she does she’ll… stop. She *wanted* more than anything to say all the things to make him reconsider, but it was his choice. She couldn’t *make* them be together. Fuck…

when Lu returns she wipes the tears from her face

Lu: “What’s wrong?”

(she’s gonna kill him)

Alice: “...nothing”

Lu: “mhm?”

he puts his arm around her, and she lays her head on him

(why did he have to be so comfortable)

Lu: “You don’t have to say you’re fine.”

she looks up at him

Alice: “*I am fine*”

he clearly doesn’t believe her

Lu looks like he’s trying to tie a knot with his tongue

(why does he have to talk, can’t he just let her have this)

he puts his hand on her cheek

(mgddfmnsafsdm)

Lu: “Look as your boyfriend, you should- you should tell me when you aren’t ok.”

(what the fuck is happening)

Alice: “You’re my boyfriend?”

Lu: “I mean, even if i think you have bad taste, who would i be to deny the most b-b-gorgeous woman i-i’ve ever laid eyes on”

(since when did he have game?!?)

Alice: “... i… you think i…”

Alice: “I don’t have bad taste, you’re very…”

Lu: “The point is you should tell me why you feel bad.”

(he’s so stupid, it’s great)

Alice: “I actually feel alot better now.”

as he hears that he smiles and kisses her

(bfvbwjrbwfkregbhvbdhsmbrhfbiwsfkvbsfjh)

Lu: “I hope that means you don’t have to go home right now, cause i,, i really wanna,, be with you a bit longer”

she responds by grabbing onto his shirt and nuzzling further into him

Alice is so giddy. She has a boyfriend, *Lu* is her boyfriend. As she buries her face into him she thinks about how she never wants to leave.

#d4t #webnovel #web fiction #webfiction #web serial #webserial #romance #queer #trans #transgender #detrans #alice #alice d4t #alice d4twebnovel #d4t extras #d4t extra #d4t-webserial

[adhdvane]

tbh on one hand i'd love to come off anon, but on the other i'm not sure i'm actually somebody to whom talking to is enjoyable? and then you'd know who got all stupid in ur askbox plus yes we're not even mutuals and i avoid twitter as a life style (even tho sometimes it's hard to convince yourself to keep doing so especially when ur favorite artist is mainly active there)

i totally get that feeling. (i only have twitter bc on of my best friends has a twitter as like the only social media they use anymore. and sometimes i spam other liveblogging shit there. esp if i'm doing it from a phone. i will never use/download mobile tumblr lol. i don't think i've like ever looked at my twitter feed? timeline? idk what they call it. and i've used twitter dm's exactly 1 time. and it was bc a digital college text book site literally had zero way to contact them on their help page. No Email. No Phone number. I HAD TO FIND THEIR TWITTER AND TWEET THEM AND THEN TALK TO THEM IN THEIR DM'S. it was pretty stupid.) honestly i struggle to wrap my head around there being artists on twitter? like twitter compresses the fuck out of art????? at least, a long time ago when i was trying to put art there, it would ALWAYS turn my .png's into .jpegs and ruin them. so i started like, hiding an invisible pixel in them so it would stay a .png. idk if they changed that or something. tumblr just always seemed like the better place for art. bc i used to be a deviantart user a loooong time ago. but then i joined tumblr and it was like O: photosets? and photosets of gif art??? i couldn't do that and make it look nice on DA. I look at DA nowadays and cry like wtf did you guys do, you ruined the UI. that green/grey is gone and it’s sad. also do not worry anon. I am not judging you about sending stupid asks. i literally ramble like an idiot and don't shut up about stupid thing. You cannot be annoying to me.

#ask #anon #sammy no #sammy be quiet #i am the most annoying shh

[streaming-yn]

(☁️)

HIIII it's 3 am and i'm trying to sleep but brain went brr with ideas n shit and oh well- thing is ; i was wondering if i could make my first request? (smth simple if u want to, no need to be very long or anything + pls don't rush nd take ur time AND don't feel pressured to actually do my request :] ! ) maybe smth ab faceless art streamer! y/n [they/them]?? (if u could add that the reader is like an indie game dev or works for smth like that u'd be sosososososo cool omg) with maybe quackity, tommy, dream, ranboo, niki and/or jack?? idk brain did the storming and its all messy hsdnshhfjsjz (btw! i know it's a lot of CCs so feel free to remove some or do the ones ur only comfy with !!! take care nd stay safe !!! luv ya <3 (/p))

AS SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO GAME DESIGN, CHARACTER, AND PLOT DESIGN YOU BET I CAN MAKE THE READER AND INDIE GAME DEV (and aaaa ty for adding jack!!! I think he's really neat and not enough people acknowledge him :))!!)

Multiple x indie game dev!artist!y/n

pairings: quackity, tommy, dream, ranboo, niki, jack manifold (separate) x indie game dev!artist!y/n

pronouns: they/them

other information on the reader:

. faceless

. knows how to code

. artist

. streams them drawing video game characters

. minor

. makes indie / horror games

form: headcanons

genre: platonic, fluff(??)

warnings: horror games / horror mods, ranboo enderwalk lore in his section

abbreviations: y/n -> your name

quackity

okay let's get the obvious out of the way; definitely going to be the type of person that's like "I'm going to play this game first after you're finished" yk? playfully ofc, n playfully fight with anyone who says the same thing (*cough* Wilbur, tommy, dream *cough*)

he probably wouldn't be on your art streams often – he doesn't really enjoy watching people draw, but he would want to see the finished pics

he would happily be on voice chat with you while you're drawing though!! :D

would be proud to answer any questions you have about character / scene / etc designs!!

"quackity!! so for this character – check your dms for a current picture – would red or purple antenna be better? also, two or four antenna?"

"*gasp* you're asking me?? 🥺" /j

"y'know what, nevermind, chat wh-"

"NO WAIT WAIT"

"so what do you think?"

also, if you do end up sending him the finished pics of the art he will hype you tf up !!!!

would try to get you make joke games – not like actually, it's just an ongoing bit between you two!

if you make a game for him – or give him a sneak peek of a game before anyone else he's going to freak out!! and he won't really know what to say bc putting feelings into words is hard

if y'all ever meet up and you're fine w hugs he's gonna give you a huge hug, hoping that makes up for the lack of words to describe how just,, proud of you he is bc he really really is!!

you're not even in your 20s yet and you can make video games, or help with them?? not to mention how creative you are with the characters and story line??? he's amazed by you

might actually cry /pos if you base a character off of him

like let's say a part of a puzzle is to get a rubber duck and place it into a pond to get the next hint or thing you need – only when he plays it on stream, he doesn't know anything about the game, so you're watching and waiting for him to get there

when he does get there – he finds out the duck has a beanie and has a white ring appear around it that flashes to life before fading out after picking it up, signifying it was the right thing to get

at first he doesn't really notice the ring, "oh! that animation is different than normal" he notes, but mainly focuses on the beanie, comparing it to himself before he glances at chat to see them freaking out over the planet duck reference

then he's just talking about it, shocked of course but flattered, and then you type in chat "you helped me a ton with things I couldn't decide during this game, I couldn't not add you! :)" everyone's just :(((( !!! /pos

overall supportive n proud, maybe a bit loud about games in progress, but just a really nice guy in general :)

tommy

he is ABSOLUTELY loud about your games in progress!! if you don't want something said you have to tell that to him before telling him or else he's going to brag about how cool it is the next time he streams

"chat!! chat, y/n is making this new game and they told me that one of the outfits you can collect for the player is going to be based off me!- right!! that sounds pog!!"

if he ever accidentally let's anything slip on stream that he was supposed to say, everyone who's a fan of you is just like "wow! suddenly! I cannot hear anymore!", sometimes they're like that even if it was okay to say

the just like being surprised :)

as for art streams, he'll try his best to tune in but obviously won't be there all the time! he's usually very active in chat too! likes being on call with you while you do art streams if you let him!

he once convinced you to make a texture pack and a shader (meant for both to be active at the same time), the fans loved it and a lot of them use it more often than the original!!

tommy however, not to much, proud of you bc that must've been a ton of work!! but at some time it slipped his mind that you make indie and horror games; I think we all know he doesn't do well with horror games

so you liking horror and such made the textures look more ominous and just make it look like and area you don't want to be in, and the spook goes up even more with the shader!! it's darker than usual, there's unusual fog, the portals look too dangerous now, so on and so forth yk

so,, tommy didn't use the texture pack for long;;

if you ever raid him after you're done streaming and he has a question, he's literally just gonna ask you on stream

"y/n raid? oh! are they still here?" when you confirm you're in chat, he continues "great! okay I had a question about your new game that's going to be available soon and how to download it-"

fans love how casual you guys are about game information, like you had to teach him how to export a game character he made on the website you usually make yours on (it was for a fun stream) and it was just a simple back and forth but everyone's like omg :((( omg them :((

also if you're the type of person to go insane over tiny details in other games, he will absolutely tease you for it

like you can just be going on and on about how this game had a sentence at the start that had a backhanded meaning by the end and he's just gonna call you a nerd (genuinely thinks is cool how much of the small things you notice in games though)

dream

COMPLAINING ABOUT CODING AND HOW HARD IT IS 🤝🤝

and if you took other coding classes hoping that I'd help with video game coding he'd just listen to you talk about it

"I actually took robotics for a while before because the school didn't have any video game coding classes and I was hoping it'd help either way" "oh?" "it,, it didn't help, it's so hard to code robots and considering how fast I caught onto video game code you think it'd be easier to understand the robot code" "yeah, that sounds reasonable" "NOPE,, WHY R THEY SO DIFFERENT I ALMOST FAILED" "D:"

fanartists like those moments, if one of those talks happen expect a bit of fanart of just dream and you chilling while you talk and he listens, the art always gives off comfy vibes n it's just cute :)

offering him to play a semi-rough draft of the demo so that he could see if it's good or what you needed to do to make it more enticing for the player

power duo fr fr o/

people like comparing y'all to hackers sometimes bc y'all know how to code???

you play into the bit with the fans though and honestly it's so fun !!!

fans: omg,, hackers (affectionate),,,

you next time you stream: hacker voice; I'm in

AND THEY GOT SHOCKED??? LIKE THEY FORGOT YOU CAN SEE THE STUFF THEY POST????

wouldn't be able to watch your art streams for long because he would get side tracked, the streams are just too under stimulating for his brain to focus on, but he'd hang around as long as he could though :)

would be glad to be on call with you while you're doing an art stream – though if he has is game sounds on you may occasionally have to repeat a question that was aimed at him

you're also in his streams when you can :)

also, you like sending donations to communicate rather than chat

one stream dream turned off his donos because you wouldn't stop giving him money 💀

being friends with such a popular creator and being a game creator yourself has it's downs as well

nothing thats too hard to deal with – the most common one is actually kinda funny – some people will slide in your dms acting like they're dream and just got locked out of his account, trying to get you to make them a game

like ??? do they think that dream would mssg you over Twitter or insta?? he has your phone number bro ,😭

also!!! when dream plays through new games you made he complements the small things and complements how hard something must've been to code :)

and I'm ngl, he kinda sucks with every game he plays at first but he's a quick learner so dw :)

would be glad to help if you're having a difficult time choosing between things too! except he'll answer right away without any teasing

"dreammm" "y/nnnn" "for this area should I do like shattered stone walls or mossy stone walls like with vines n stuff?" "depends on the vibe you want, shattered stone would give it a dangerous and uneasy undertone and mossy stone would be more of ominous, if that makes sense?" "oh! okay, thank youuu!!"

ofc if you didn't have a specific vibe or couldn't choose which was better he would just give a straight up answer so you didn't stress out trying to choose one \o/

would absolutely like being a guest in a drawing stream, he isn't the best at art or character design but it's fun to see him try

maybe you both plus some friends do a "drawing Minecraft mobs from memory" stream? ,, with that the thing is; his would mostly be relatively accurate if you could understand wtf he was drawing 😭

dream may or may or have some of your art as his phone homescreen, he loves your style so much :(( /pos

ranboo

first off; he's incredibly impressed!! like!!! you made this game?? this playable game, completely from scratch??? how??

also you may or may not have made a small Minecraft mod for him to tryout on stream,, little gift from you to both chat n ranboo 🤲

its literally all based off his lore,, if you get close to obsidian and crying obsidian fallen down from Undertale starts playing, if you splash water on yourself 1) you get hurt 2) your screen blacks out and when it comes back, your in a different place than before, some things art taken, maybe a few extra things are added

and there's a 50% chance that when you go into your "enderwalk" state (the blackout) you blow something up, so there may or may not be an explosion somewhere nearby, you also have a 20% chance of building something small in you enderwalk state :)

he found it so incredibly cool!!! chat was crying while complementing you while ranboo thanked you and complemented you over n over again

he won't shut up about how cool the mod is for several weeks, maybe even a few months, it's just so cool!!

will absolutely use it as a comeback if you let him; "oh? you got first place? well y/n made me a really really cool mod, so who's the actual winner here?"

will absolutely play every single game you come out with – it doesn't matter if it's his style or not – and he thoroughly enjoys all of the games as well

as for art streams, he will absolutely try to tune in every time he can!! active in chat and donos!!

doesn't really like being in art streams – like in call is fine but actually drawing? not really, he just doesn't love drawing in front of a ton of people

but will join an art stream if you ask

will listen to you rant about whatever, even if he doesn't understand it! like will listen to you go on and on about how well a game set up the atmosphere or maybe talking about how difficult coding is, and he'll converse back with you but won't really understand yk?

"ranboo I just played a really cool game do you wanna hear about it?" "yeah yeah- of course!!" "ok so like, the atmosphere was so well put together- like it was a horror game and I didn't even see the monster but the vibe was so well put together that it was still unnerving!!" "that's awesome! how did the atmosphere get set up the best and when you saw the monster, was it scarier?"

yk what I mean? like engages in convo so you don't feel bad about talking so much, plus shows his interest without the constant "hm?" "cool" etc a lot of people do and even though he does talk more than the acknowledgment sounds many people make he also manages to almost never sidetrack you and when he does it's on accident :)

if your way of learning is teaching then he'll gladly be the person you teach it to if you want! most likely won't use the information therefore his brain won't retain it but that's not on you, and the whole reason is so you can learn, not him, so! ^^

will make sure to take care of yourself, and he has a through way of telling if you have or not bc he's known you for long enough to know that even if you try to hide it a little bit of your tired voice shows so he knows if you've been sleeping like you should

also friends with you on discord, where you have your Spotify attached,, you like listening to music while you work on things that aren't sound related and if it's active later than it should be he's going to confront you

overall wholesome mixed in with a little pain bc both of you are like "ah yes, lore <3" and like to see fans cry /lh

niki

I feel like this is expected but if you need to get extra motivation she would probably be your go-to

she hypes you up but like, in a sweet and quiet kinda way, where as everyone else here would probably be relatively loud ;;

honored to be on an art stream if you invite her :')

and would absolutely watch your art streams when she can :D hypes you up in chat

also compliments, tons of compliments!

might call you a prodigy? bc you're so young but can already make games?? and make income off of them?? and do really good art??? and so much more??? like tell me that's not prodigy energy,

if you make a video game character based off her she might cry,, like in a positive way obviously but like at the same time :(( no don't cry!!

I say might bc it's dependant on how she feels that day yk? like she might just have the almost-cry wobble to her voice or she might actually, if that makes sense?

she genuinely loves your art style!! even if it's pointy and kinda creepy she really likes it!!

yk the "awww (name) :(" /pos she does sometimes? 100% does that with you

there are a few compilations of just "aww y/nnn" on YouTube and all the comments on those videos are just crying over y'all /pos

would be happy to help if you're stuck between some options in a game, but would feel kinda bad bc it's your game, you're supposed to be the one choosing the stuff

assure her that it's okay n stuff n she'll be ok tho !

I can't decide if she would play your games or not

bc on one hand she's a huge supporter of you and your work and would like to experience it first hand

but on the other hand she isn't the best with scry games,,

so maybe she'd do both? maybe she'd react on stream to a playthrough, maybe your playthrough? or maybe she would only play some of your games? I haven't decided so up to you I suppose!

jack manifold

genuinely amazed by your talent and will make it quite clear!!

can and will go on tangents about you on stream if someone brings it up

everyone is so :(( <333 /pos bc of it

will play the games you've made as soon as he can

if there are different games that line up in a story he'll make sure to play them in order :)

people also sometimes compare you two to hackers bc you code a ton and he kinda looks like a hacker

difference here is that both of you play into the bit, it's tons of fun!!

listen, I know he doesn't draw much but I am a firm believer that he will doodle his favorite character(s) from your games after he's done playing them

like after he plays a game of yours then expect a small doodle in your texts :)

you compiled a bunch of these doodles into one picture and made it you phone background and he only found out after y'all met irl and it caught the corner of his eye and he registered "oh hey wait that looks familiar"

he found out while recording the vlog n when editing, the editor was like "hey let's leave this in, it'd be funny if the fans knew right?" ,, the fans were crying for two weeks,, /pos

and speaking of drawings; he would like to be on a drawing stream with you, thinks it's be tons of fun!! :D

and he's usually free to call while your streaming and doesn't mind so if you wanna talk to him while drawing just call :)

and he will watch the streams he can make it to!! he may leave a bit early but he stays for the majority of it

if you make a character based off of him he's going to constantly thank you and brag about how cool you are anywhere he can

"hello manifolders, if you haven't done it already go download (game name)! I'm there!" with a ss of his character from the game and he'll reply to the tweet on his alt to talk more about the game and how much he really liked it :)

another that'll help you were you need it! he'll make it into a joke before anything else, but he'll get to the point

taglist (sorry i forgot to do it on the past two): @cvsmixplant // @l0ver0fj0y // @youngstarfishdinosaur

#asked and answered #request #headcanons #platonic!reader #platonic fanfic #platonic x reader #jack manifold x reader #niki x reader #dream x reader #tommy x reader #quackity x reader #ranboo x reader #streamer!au #mcyt x reader #streamer!reader #streamer!y/n #fanfic #headcanon #☁️ anon #game dev!reader #game dev! reader #artist!reader #artist! reader #platonic ranboo x reader #platonic dream x reader #platonic tommy x reader #platonic quackity x reader #platonic niki x reader #platonic jack manifold x reader #jack x reader

[moondonky]

Id go to jail

People be like,, u should buy a fast car,, nah id prolly go to jail.. u should get a motercyle,, nah id prolly go to jail, u should sell sum bitcoin, nah id prolly go to jail, u should by a house, nah id prolly go to jail, u should travel to sum foreign countries, nah id prolly go to jail.. u should start a buisness,, nah id prolly go to jail... u should have fun hit up sum clubs, nah id prolly go to jail...

They laugh, think im joking,, not alot of people know me very well, for fucked up reasons, the feds and cia prolly now me best,, my name will turn up on every list,, every chance they get,, ive had dudes interrogate me in a smoking lobby at an airport, ill have chicks swipe me on tinder just to get alil close,, like im a spy or sum shit,, idk I have fun, ill fuk with them,, but prolly shouldnt,, I never did anything illegal,, I just know things that I shoulnt, and im good with words and can talk alot of shit, its weird cuz its a crime to investigate corruption and lives of powerful people,, behind closed doors,, they are not who they act like they are, in many ways they only tell you what u wanna hear,, all these things there doing now legally, like forcing on people, censorship, tracking, all the heavy news propaganda, blacklisting, marking concerned people as like an enemy of the country,, they were already doing all that years ago,, face book was literally doing psychological research and studies on users,, simply targeting ur emotions with what they put in your feeds, deliberately making people depressed n shit, just to see if they could,, and they got caught, and in the court process,, they made it legal,, why theres nothing u can do about it now,, they can legally psychologically manipulate you,, and track you, and record you, and sell ur data and do whatever the fuck they want, its not even Facebook anymore, or Twitter, or amazon,, because our country has been in a state of emergency for the last 20 years,, and people don't even understand wtf that means,, these unpresidented times that is perpetuated, it is done on purpose,, war, economic collapse, drought, civil disobedience, disease, are all reasons for martial law, to be in a state of national emergency,, everything that is happening,, only reason a president can even use executive orders, to bypass the senate and congress, everything that seems so fake, why it seems like there all lying, in every word they say,, even the money "printing", secretly they were already 23 trillion dollars in debt,, over the last 15 years.. money that dissapeared in to there pockets,, this aint a new bill, this is them openly pinning it on Americans in raised taxes,, and inflation,, ur seeing the removal of national military, and the insertion of privatized contractor mercenaries,, and trust me u do not want rich people to be able to buy there own army's, they armed and destabilized an entire continent to create a neverending privatized buisness of war,, if u remember in ukrain way back when,, we sent in blackwater mercs,, Russia sent in a bunch more of theres and kept crimea, if u remember what started all that,, was ukrain was stealing and selling gas, from russia, how biden through his son ties into it,, and Russia just shut the pipeline off, and then civil war broke out and a passenger plane got shot of the sky,, which was a missed target, and suppose to be the Russian presidents,, most people don't have a clue all that happened,, we even extracted all of ukrains gold for safekeeping.. and I say we,, but I mean was the Obama administration, which is still in control of things, technically, through Hillary or biden,, democratic party, all same the people, even trump,, a lifelong friend of the clintons.. they all fuk in the same beds...

When people say wake up,, what they are trying to say,, our country was hijacked,, and we are being manipulated,, by the people who are in control of everything, the people are being deliberately put in a psychosis of propaganda and isolation from thinking for themselves,, kept in narrow bands of dialog and comunications...

When people say new world order, sustainable development, green new deals,, sounds all peachy,, untill your whats removed,, you know like take that jab or what every they call it, that turns u into gmo intelectual property.. which im sure u also didn't know, anouther law passed so u cant sue them if anything goes wrong... like side effects, because its not a vaccine by definition, so they had to create a new law to protect themselves, just like if vaccines have side effect u cant sue them.. and that can get very concerning when u really look into shit,, like there were riots and protests by the people of wuhan, the week prior to the "outbreak".. when they welded doors shut, and incinerated the "infected", by the garbage incinerator they where protesting.. there are videos of people yelling out there windows, "its all fake",, there are videos of trucks driving around using gas to "disinfect" the entire province,, there was a loss of 8 million cellphone subscriptions in china at start of the "pandemic",, social credit scores, facial recognition, cameras everywhere,, that is sum shit they are trying to make legal in america, and are already prepared for,, that is the "infrastructure" they want to build.. even where I live in seatlle,, there are thousands of cameras everywere that are not legally turned on,, because there backed my facial recognition software that is not legal yet...

And I say no, I dont like that, thats not american

And I'd prolly go to jail if I did,, so I listen to my bible,, and it says to flee to the mountains, avoid it, when all the shit thats happening starts hapening, sounds like camping to me.. im always waiting,, still working, small crew small shop, under 100, but I refuse to take that shot, no tests, no pills, none of it,, I could have cancer or a tumor, I would never find out, I let doctors stitch up cuts, set bones, I do not like the idea of them playing god, I have my own God, it is what it is, grateful for days alloted, not in distress, not in need of saving, only God gets to judge my fate, I would never want to live forever, because I know I am eternal,, eternity is eternity, heavon or hell, figuratively u only die on earth,, u dont get to bring your money or what uve built, or acquired, when u die, what u have is what dies,, its you, as a person, if u even know yourself,, do u look up, or do u look down,, in the end u judge yourself, because u cannot lie to yourself,, u will know exactly where u belong, there was never need to hear repremandation..

Only sinners are afraid of death, rather believe its just the end... that dudes my friend lol.. in the end from the begining, it is Gods judgement, I would not advise partaking in the traditions of men, seems kinda Greek if u ask me

[mellometal]

I know I said I don't associate myself with the Panic! fandom anymore, but this is something I have been ACHING to talk about. This is some bad timing, since it was Brent Wilson's birthday recently (yes, his birthday is July 20th, NOT August 20th; source: I've been following him on Twitter for five years and he's actually said this), but this is going to be about Brent and the whole situation with him.

Warning: What I'm about to say about the situation with Brent Wilson (original bassist) is heavily biased, since I do stan him. YEAH. I STAN BRENT MATTHEW WILSON, THE ORIGINAL BASSIST OF PANIC! AT THE DISCO. CRY ABOUT IT. STAY MAD. He's one of the ONLY members of Panic! At The Disco (past and present) who I give a fuck about, besides Ryan Ross, Spencer Smith, and Ian Crawford.

Trigger warning: This will be talking about arrest, jail, drugs (doing and selling), weapons (guns), childbirth, parenthood, and some other things. If these things are triggering for you or make you uncomfortable in any way, you do not have to read this post. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

Disclaimer: I don't know Brent in real life, I'm not in his circle of friends or people he's closest to (like his wife Taylor, his parents, his brother Blake, his in-laws, his irl friends, coworkers, etc.), and this is not me acting like I do. I don't know what his life is like outside of Twitter. The only contact I've ever had with him has been on Twitter, but it was pretty limited.

My thoughts on this situation are MY opinion, any possibilities in my thoughts are just theories and not proven to be true, and I'm not trying to excuse whatever he was allegedly charged with.

Just for the record, I am willing to have a civil conversation with anyone who hates Brent. The minute you attack me or anyone else who likes Brent, or a whole bunch of you start circle jerking about how much you hate him, you're getting blocked. If all you're going to bring up is the shit Brent did when he was in his late teens instead of adding anything useful to the discussion, you're getting blocked too. I already know about that. It happened back in 2004-2006. They were all still kids, to a point. Brent has changed quite a bit since then. The whole "Hate on Brent Wilson" bandwagon is stupid, toxic, and I refuse to jump on it. I've never jumped on it when I was in the Panic! fandom, so why would I do it now?

Remember, without Brent bringing Br3nd0n Ur!3 into Panic!, your precious Br3nd0n wouldn't be successful today. JUST SO YA KNOW. (I'm very salty right now, if you can't already tell.)

If you would like to know about what happened with Brent, a few months ago, he was arrested on (alleged) drug charges and illegal possession of a weapon, along with a traffic violation and something to do with a probation violation too. He was set to go to court back in March for his sentencing, but that's the most recent information I've found. I don't know what the fuck is going on at this point. I don't know if he's been sentenced, if he's doing anything alternative like rehabilitation, nothing. (The reason why I said they're alleged charges is because I don't know if he's even been to court for sentencing or anything like that.)

People's reactions were mixed. Some actually LAUGHED and made a whole bunch of jokes about him being arrested (that's fucking insensitive and cruel). Some felt bad for Brent because he just became a dad (yes, he's a dad, but I'm not posting any pictures of the kid out of respect for Brent and Taylor). Some were shocked. Some weren't surprised (how and why????).

My reaction? It was pretty mixed. I was shocked. I thought I was having a fever dream and what I was seeing was fake at first. When I realized it wasn't fake, I was crushed. I felt absolutely horrible for Brent, Taylor, their kid, and all their loved ones. Like, I care about the guy a lot. Obviously.

Ironically, the band members and/or group members I stan are either the black sheep or they're just not as popular. Or they're the fucking scapegoat almost EVERYONE attacks for the stupidest shit. Brent's the black sheep as well as the scapegoat of Panic!, for example....and I would say that Ian is another black sheep too. Not for any negative reasons. He's simply not as popular, due to the fact he was only in Panic! during the Vices era for a short time. He's underrated as FUCK. I'm one of the black sheep in a lot of places [except for friend groups], even in my own family, so it explains why I stan Brent still.

I just want to say that selling drugs and doing drugs aren't inherently bad things to do. This doesn't mean that I'm for kids doing drugs and selling them. Absolutely not. I want people who do drugs or sell drugs to be treated like human beings. I also want them to be able to seek help easier without the judgment or being treated like a criminal. Personally, I don't do any of that, but I understand why someone would. (This kind of thing hits home for me.)

As far as the whole weapon thing is concerned (it was a gun), I personally don't like them and we need better gun control in the United States. I don't think I'd trust anyone who owns a gun because of the possibility that they would hurt me or worse in an argument or something. I've seen my abuser threaten to pull a gun out on my dad when I was a kid. Thankfully it wasn't loaded, but still. It was scary. I wouldn't own a gun because I'm autistic, mentally ill, and I'm afraid of what I might do in certain situations. If someone wants to own a gun for protection, hunting, target practice, or to collect them, fine. BUT YOU DON'T NEED A HUGE ASS GUN THAT THE MILITARY USES TO GO HUNTING OR FOR TARGET PRACTICE. I don't like them, I don't want one, I don't trust myself with one, guns scare me, and I want better gun control in the United States. It terrifies me that people openly carry. I understand that's the Second Amendment and all, but it doesn't change the fact that it terrifies me. As long as you're responsible with that kind of thing, I don't really care.

I don't know what Brent's reason was for (allegedly) owning a weapon (maybe for protection or something?), but it's none of my business.

In my opinion, this is all stupid shit. There are people who have done horrible things and they're STILL free people, but oh, god forbid you do or sell drugs! THAT'S bad. /s

Here's my response below. I'll type out everything, except for the disclaimers and what he was arrested for. I will start from the fifth paragraph on the first screenshot and continue from there. This is so anyone who has a hard time reading any of the screenshots can read them easier.

(My response was from around the time it was announced that he was arrested. Just so you know.)

First screenshot, fifth paragraph:

First off, I just want to say that this situation is a fucked up one for anyone to be in. I would never wish this on anyone. Especially because now, there's a baby involved, so this makes the situation worse. This is pretty difficult for me to put into words without coming off as bitchy or anything like that, so if I get bitchy here, I apologize.

Second screenshot, fifth paragraph:

I don't know what caused this mess to begin with, but I do know that Brent and his wife Taylor just had a baby a couple months ago (when I was typing this out initially). While it's a good thing for them, it can be assumed that this is also a very stressful time for them.

Combination of third and fourth screenshots (These are pretty much only theories; not facts, and they will be broken up into paragraphs): 

The pandemic most likely isn’t helping their case. Las Vegas is a HUGE city and I’m sure A LOT of people there are REALLY struggling right now in all aspects. Maybe Brent and Taylor are struggling to pay off hospital bills or whatever (to put this into perspective, the average cost for hospital childbirth in Nevada is around $21,239, according to CBS News). The average salary for an accountant in Nevada is anywhere from $34k to $150k, and that all depends on education, experience (how long you’ve been in said career), certifications, and any additional skills. Take into account any other necessities they have to pay for, like their mortgage, bills, insurance, etc. 

Let’s say that they did manage to pay everything else off, but they’re struggling to pay the hospital bills from when they had their baby. (Having a baby is fucking expensive in the United States, regardless of whether there are complications or not, and regardless of whether you have insurance or not.) Let’s say they’ve tried every single option out there, but nothing seems to give still. Maybe the drug selling was a last resort on Brent’s part. (As I’ve said, I don’t know the full story.)

The whole subject of drug paraphernalia hits home for me. My parents both did drugs when I was a kid. I’ve seen it a lot growing up. My dad was, in the past, in and out of jail for drugs and other things that aren’t relevant here. I’m not sure if my mom was in and out of jail for the same shit, but I know for a fact my dad was. Y’know, because he told me. ANYWAYS. 

I get it. You gotta do what you gotta do. It’s not something I’d do personally, but I understand why somebody would do it. I wouldn’t treat them any differently. Maybe they’re selling drugs or whatever to keep themselves from losing their homes, put food on the table for their families, help pay their bills, pay for their education, whatever. It could be a number of things.

Fifth screenshot (people’s reactions to the news and my thoughts on them):

Now...let’s move on to how people are reacting to the news. There’s a lot of mixed reactions. A lot of people feel bad for Brent, especially since he and Taylor just had a baby a couple months ago (as I was typing this). Some people “aren’t surprised” because they were never fans of him in the first place. Others think this is amusing. I’ve seen some people who are solely involved in celebrity news (similar to TMZ) making jokes about the situation, which to me, is appalling.

Let me tell you something. It doesn’t matter if you’re a fan of Brent or not. This shit isn’t funny or cute in the slightest. It sure isn’t funny or cute to anyone who is being affected by the situation, which includes Brent himself, Taylor, their son, and all their loved ones. Like, full stop. Have some decency. Y’all are fucking gross. You can dislike Brent all you want, but he’s a real human being who fucked up. Personally, when I first heard the news, I couldn’t believe it at first. I thought I was having a fever dream. That is, until I looked it up and actually found that it was true. I was CRUSHED. Why? Because Brent is one of the last people I’d even expect to get into this whole mess. 

Sixth screenshot (my thoughts):

If I’m being honest here...like, BRUTALLY honest, Brent needs to be put in REHAB, not jail. For anyone who has been here (on my Instagram) from when I used to dedicate this account to vintage Panic!, you know how I’ve never said anything but kind things about Brent. From the few times I’ve interacted with him a little bit on Twitter and from how I’ve seen him interact with others on the site, Brent is one of the sweetest people ever. I’m being genuine here. He’s a good guy who fucked up and did some dumb shit. Does that make him bad? No. Then again, as far as I’ve read about the current situation at hand, it’s too early to really determine anything. None of us know what caused him to have drug paraphernalia or anything else that he was arrested for in the first place.

Seventh screenshot (wrap-up):

I’m gonna wrap this up here. My heart aches for Brent, Taylor, their son, and all their loved ones. I hope that everything gets straightened out, all sides of the story come out, and that Brent can get his shit together again. Like he had been doing since he was kicked out of Panic!. I wish everyone involved nothing but the absolute best right now, given how fucked up the whole situation is. (Just to clear up any confusion, when I was referring to Taylor, I’m NOT referring to Taylor Swift or any other celebrity with the name Taylor. I’m referring to Brent’s wife.) 

If you’ve read this far, thank you! If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I’ll try to answer as best as I can.

Have my thoughts on the situation changed since February - March of this year? No.

I think that Brent needs some kind of help. That's why I mentioned rehab. It's obvious to me that's the kind of help he needs. I don't believe jail is helpful in certain circumstances (like drug charges, traffic violations, and other nonviolent crimes)....at least in the United States. They treat people who do drugs and/or sell drugs like they're subhuman. Yet there are people who have committed violent, deplorable, horrific crimes, and they're still free people. Funny how that works. I'm not too educated about how the jail system works in other countries, so I can't exactly tell you how I feel about that system on an international standpoint.

Brent should be with his wife and child. I hope the guy gets his shit together again. I believe Brent WILL get his shit together. Genuinely. I would never wish anything bad on him.

I don't crucify Brent like a lot of people in the Panic! fandom do. The only reason I would hypothetically do so is if Brent actually committed violent, deplorable, horrific crimes (i.e., chomo bullshit, trafficking...like, extreme shit) that would warrant him being locked up and I'd drop him completely at that point. OBVIOUSLY I DON'T SEE HIM DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT. EVER. THAT'S JUST HYPOTHETICAL.

Anyways....have a good day, y'all.

#mello speaks #brent wilson #panic! at the disco #tw drugs #tw possession of a weapon #tw weapon mention #brent matthew wilson #holy shit I'm talking about PANIC! despite not associating with the fandom anymore? wow! #cw arrest #i really hope they're okay though #this situation is a fucked up one for anyone to be in

[krakido]

Dani Dani Dani Dani Dani!!!! Tell us abt ur bf!! & how u started dating if ur comfortable!! I don't follow so all I know about him, being named Bubble, is that he's probably the son of Bubble Buddy from spongebob

o-oh! i’m sure i can do that aha, i dont have a lot of spoons rn but i’ll try my best!! also he’s totally related to bubble buddy

i’l put it under a readmore cuz it’s probs gonna get long cuz im a mushy nerd and i need to ask bobbles too cuz my memory is HORRIFIC

so! i met him at the beginning of january when a mutual friend of ours accidentally invited me to a server they were all in and they just kinda let me chill in there so we were all just chattin n hangin’ out n stuff, not really talking one on one but still messing around with each other

we first started gettin friendly when someone brought up sealife and i infodumped for like 10 years and bob was rly interested so i just. spewed a shit load of facts at him and that was really when we started talking properly? we started dming each other when i sent him a daily duck twitter and it just sorta went from there! it was a lil awk at first but soon we were talking till morning about everything and anything, and we had other rooms in other servers where we’d have heart to hearts a lot and stuff

it kinda came apparent we’d both had shitty lives so we gave each other a lot of comfort ykno? on my end he was SO understanding because my previous relationships gave me a fear of men and their motives so... it did take me a while to warm up but he also made me feel so safe? i really can’t explain it he was just so soothing! so we started talking one on one more, playing games alone together and thats when the ‘platonic’ i love yous started droppin’ (ofc we didn't realise at the time they weren't platonic at all ahaha)

this went on for months and months and moooonths to the point we were practically a couple even if not officially, lots of talk about kissing each other and holding hands and all that but still under the guise of being 'platonic' :') i still thought i only liked girls at this point so there was also a lot of sexuality crises on my end (and lots of gushing about him to my best friend sorry pinkie ily)

anyway one day bob basically went 'dude im crushin like fuck' and i was like 'dude same but we should wait cuz i'm a mess' which he respected (and how was willing to work with me and my difficulties with mental illness and ptsd and aspergers etc etc was SO NICE like i'm still reeling over that i'm so!!! i love him cries)

so we were already planning to meet at mcm manchester and i said i wanted to wait until then before i decide what to do, that was in may i think? though we'd been very couply together even before that

anyway june 13th we had a huge heart to heart and we spilled our feelings and i just went 'i can't wait any longer we should be a pair' and of course he said yes so! that's like. the abridged version of it cuz my memory is horrific but he remembers more so feel free to ask him!!! (or if ur readin this bobbles feel free to add onto this cuz im a dumbo)

i've never met someone so understanding and lovely before though and i've never felt so... safe? he doesn't hold my outbursts against me and we both know if we do something the other one is hurt by we can talk it out, and we regularly talk about how to deal with possible problems in the future and i'll tell him what he can do when i have meltdowns or i'm triggered and other such things... plus he's just. aa!! so good like he said he'd read to me if i wanted cuz i have trouble reading stuff cuz of my dyslexia it's things like that!!! i just really love him a lot and when i met him in person last month i finally felt like i had a place to belong ykno?

he's my home and i adore him to pieces.... even tho we've technically only been together for just under 2 months we've basically been a couple for so much longer and that's why my feelings are so intense like ahh.. im gonna shut up now this is way too long but yeah!! that's the gist of it

@bobmcduck I LOVE U A LOT U BIG FUCKIN BEAN AAAA

#im gonna tag these as #mush post #so ppl can block my mushy ass posts if they so wish haha #i just love him a lot guys hhhhhhh #long post #shades dude #asks n shit

[ignisgayentia]

I see that you've blocked me on Twitter. You know, I don't want to be an asshole, I have every intention to send u a DM before I unfollow u, but then I saw ur post that u are now "TERRIFIED". Of me. I thought we used to be friends, and I actually unfollowed u not bc I disrespected ur opinion, but bc I do, and I don't wanna get upset seeing ur tweets. Which is what you're allowed to do, too, and I respect you. But I'm honestly really hurt by how you handled this, Ari. I thought we were friends.

WELL THIS IS REALLY CREEPY CONSIDERING U DELETED UR BLOG so ur like stalking my personal posts BUT HERE WE GO

u deleted ur blog

i wanted to stay in touch, not knowing much abt u, so we followed each other on twitter

out of nowhere u UNFOLLOWED me first on twitter, and i hAD NO FUCKING IDEA WHY

I GO TO UR TWITTER and find out that u basically think americans are privileged and have NO oppression

there is like an ENTIRE thread of u talking shit about me saying that i, or any americans whatsoever, don’t experience oppression and that i’m too privileged

like?? wtf is this tweet:

u calling me immature for blocking someone who has no idea what america is like and telling me that sexism, racism, and/or oppression doesn’t exist in america just because it doesn’t exist in the same way that u experience it (which i never denied) and having an OPPRESSION WAR that i never even fucken started with anyone, let alone u

instead of u coming to me about it i have to read all this horror story bullshit on ur twitter.. u really can’t expect to be friends with someone if u can’t stand to read my tweets or my point of view of anything bc i’m a ‘privileged american’. u don’t support BLM or antifa bc it doesn’t “benefit u” so u have no idea what happens to the unprivileged here but u pretend u do bc u read stuff on the news abt america… Like. i don’t pretend to know what it’s like to live in ur country but u get to pretend to know everything about my experiences in mine?

ANYWAY HERE’s SOME MORE GOD AWFUL TWEETS u wrote about me while u call me “immature”

(TELLING A RAPE VICTIM THAT RAPE CULTURE ISNT REAL IN AMERICA, how classy)

this one is my fav bit of irony:

 and my “political” tweets were about supporting women who come forward against r*pists and shit and u have the nerve to call it ~political opinions u dont wanna see?

u respect my opinions? u care about me? u wanna be friends with me? BITCH WHERE

u “don’t wanna be an asshole” ALRIGHT… sure was it petty to make a post abt u? sure was.. didn’t think u’d see it, didn’t think we’d ever interact again nor were we friends.. u don’t support me or believe in what i go thru is valid bc im an american, that’s not friendship.. 

in ALL SERIOUSNESS, if u have read this far: don’t ever tell someone that they’ve never experienced oppression. don’t ever dismiss the struggle of lives u have no comprehension of understanding. yes, america has privileges that most countries do not. this does not mean that oppression does not exist. an hour away from me, 49 lgbt people were gunned down in a senseless act of homophobia and terrorism. sure, we can get married - but we have to fear for our lives ANY time we want to step outside and live normal lives. this is not simply erased in america. black people and black children are GUNNED down by law enforcement at almost a DAILY rate in america due to systematic racism. those people are afraid to step out of their homes on the daily, but sure - ~slavery and jim crow laws aren’t in effect anymore. trans ppl are murdered almost DAILY here - but sure, technically it’s not illegal for them to wear binders or step outside (as u put, not me). i’m not an idiot; i’m fully aware of how much worse other countries can and do have when it comes to minority groups struggles and struggles in general. but pretending america doesn’t have flaws or struggles simply because we’re america is ignorant, sickening, and honestly hurtful. as people who experience oppression, whether it every day things or in violent deadly ways - we have to support one another, we have to uplift one another and give voice to struggles happening everywhere, even if u think u have it “worse”. change doesn’t happen when one cannot see outside their own way of thinking or footsteps. people are dying. HERE, too. grow the FUCK up.

oh, and ur little “fake rape culture dystopia” comment was absolutely disgusting. as a rape victim at the age of 9-10, by someone i TRUSTED. having to save my best friend from rape - TWICE by OUR (former) best friend. having to walk with her to the bathroom just to pray they won’t target more than one person. someone i knew of at college was drugged, raped, murdered - and they didn’t find the body for YEARS. no one is pretending other countries don’t have it worse, but pretending it doesn’t exist here is absolutely NASTY. 

byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

#Anonymous #asks #OKAY IGNORE THIS GUYS #takin out the trash #rape mention cw #negativity cw #personal for ts #anyway ur disgusting? #i cant believe u trying to tell r*pe victims that r*pe culture isnt real and shit #N A S TY #didnt owe u an explanation since u didnt give me one when i didnt do a tHING to u #but since i had to read this dumb shit HERE YA GO

[sanaseva-archive]

i read ur tag about how people don't read ur evak headcanons but im new here and would love the shit out of them

sorry this took ages because it’s a lot to collect from a lot of places, but like. it’s not that they don’t read them. it’s that when i tell them they tell me to stop (probably bc it’s emotionalé :P)

but i usually send headcanons to sunny, anki and faiza!!! (and a couple of others on twitter but that was between seasons mostly lol)

read under break!!

1. pianist!isak

when isak was younger, he played the piano. he took classes, he understood the instrument, he felt the music flowing through his fingers and into the air, an echo from his very soul. he could switch it up and he could make a happy song sad.

then, people started to comment on how gay it all was. he started to panic and put the piano lid down, never to touch it again.

his father moved out, brought the piano with him, and isak never really cared. he could skateboard instead, hang out with jonas and play video games instead. jonas tried to ask once, “what’s up with you never playing the piano anymore?” but isak shuts him down easily with “it’s boring and i hate it”. they never touch on the subject again.

years later, when even and isak are out travelling, isak finds a public piano. he gravitates too it and even says something about “no, let it be, it’s not a toy, love,” but isak doesn’t care-- doesn’t listen. he hasn’t touched a piano since-- well-- since he stopped playing. he has, however, missed the piano so much. he missed the control he had. god knows he can’t sing to save his own life, but the piano? that’s something he can do.

he goes there, and does the thing, leaving even and the crowd speechless. who could’ve guessed, that the young man in trainers and snapback could do that?

even shines with pride, he hugs isak tightly when he’s finished and kisses him, and tells everyone to “look at my boyfriend!!! isn’t he fantastic? amazing? absolutely perfect?”

2. even + the balloon squad, growing up

okay so, this one was with faiza. remember the handshake in the hei briskeby video?

even was there when it became a thing. he was there for a long time. they knew each other for a long time, in fact.

so i couldn’t stop thinking about all !! the !! events !! they have shared, all the things they remember doing together, all the things they grew up doing together. such as:

at the bakkoush' it was not uncommon for many years to see the boys pretend wrestling and hugging and racing the house. when the boys were really small they used to run outside on various branches pretending to play quidditch and even could recite his favourite parts by heart and mikael too

about painting nails

imagine even and mikael and yousef painting their nails together for the first time and they spill probably on sana's favourite shirt and they're super sorry and sana is like UGH YOU CAN'T EVEN PAINT YOUR NAILS PROPERLY ALRIGHT LET ME DO IT SO YOU DON'T SPILL IT ALL OVER THE PLACE and they're like YES PLEASE SANA HELP US

faiza added:

SHE WOULD HELP THEM DO IT LIKE LOOK BOYS "THIS IS THE TRICK"

i continued

and then they can't stop showing elias and mutasim and mama and papa bakkoush their nails and they keep complimenting sana's skills like "we ruined her shirt" "were so sorry :(" "but she helped us with the nails and LOOK LOOK!!!" and mutasim is probably like "looking good bros" and mama bakkoush goes "very nice boys, ooo look at that colour even!! it really brings out your eyes" and even literally shines up and sana is like ughhhhh these boys can't do shit

about biking

imagine them biking and racing each other and then like. elias falls and scrapes his knees and it Really Hurts and the boys are like oh No and try to help him and they get Elias back home and nobody's home and Yousef is like. "Well, first we need to clean it" and Elias tries to Be Cool but his eyes sting when they help cleaning the cuts and Sana comes home and Elias is crying in the bathroom with all the boys, Muta probably tries to calm the situation but Sana is like WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHER and they're like "no no he fell when we were biking" and Sana puffs out some air and takes the charge and she calls their dad to get help over the phone and then they help Elias to his bed to lie down and they're all So Concerned but by the next week they're at it again, biking down the streets because it's what they do 

If they were really young when they met imagine them learning how to bike 😭😭😭 

about harry potter nerding

(imagine that, a preteen even is sitting on his bed, his legs crossed and he tries to do magic like they do in harry potter, and he tries to magically make sure his friends are okay before he goes to bed every night, and later, when he doesn't understand why he's starting to loose interest in things and feel endlessly sad all the time, he puts a hand to his heart and whispers lumos, because once, when he was crying because someone had been mean to him, mikael tried to cheer him up by putting his hand on even's heart and said lumos with a small smile, saying that now his heart should feel lightened)

faiza added:

all the boys having / a harry potter marathon / though /those are what nights are made for

i continued:

And Even and Mikael battling about who knows the most trivia / Yousef is always the one butting in about "but that's not how it is in the books" but even just laughs and says "its a movie, they can't have everything in it" and mikael just nods enthusiastically and they both sigh and blows out a wish about how they want to be a director one day 

3. random evak headcanons

i sent this to anki, for example:

imagine when they're like 30, even blows out a sigh in the car and wishfully says something about wishing to have a motorcycle and just,,, couple of months later, isak has bought him a motorcycle and (if the license for motorcycle doesn't come with the regular driving license as it used to in Sweden in like the seventies or smth) he takes the license with even, and then they go on a trip somewhere ;nnnn;

and we’ve talked about isak’s sleeping problems too. here’s the convo:

me:

okay, but like. i can't fall asleep. so im thinking about isak not being able to fall asleep. and that makes me just Upset

anki: 

it's gotten a lot better now that he gets to sleep next to even every night. but sometimes, the thoughts still creep up on him, making it impossible for him to fall asleep and then he tosses and turns around in bed, kicking the bed linen off himself, then covers himself up again because he freezes and even wakes up from it, whispers a "can't sleep?" all groggy and isak nods, cuddles closer to even and takes a breath. one, two, three, four. tries to calm himself down. even's hands hold isak's, firmly but soft. "i'm here"  even whispers and isak breathes out again. one two three four

anki: 

and even doesn't force isak to tell him all his thoughts, if isak wanted to he'd tell him, and that makes isak calm down even more, he's getting a lil sleepier still not sleepy enough to actually fall asleep but at least he's napping a little

me:

even notices the difference immediately. isak's response time slows down, his words get bundled together before they leave his mouth, his gaze is glassy and far-away, and sometimes, it feels like he's speaking to a ghost.

even tries to do a lot of things for isak. but he knows this isn't something he just can't. fix. much like how isak can't fix /him/. but that doesn't mean he doesn't try.

he lets isak rest against his chest because the even's heartbeats makes it easier for isak to find some peace.

he lets isak gaze off mid-conversation, and easily gets him back to track when isak blinks a couple of times to find himself in the present.

he helps isak find someone to talk to-- a professional-- and he hates to see how it doesn't get any better. it's not that it's getting worse per se, but isak feels a lot worse (which makes even feel much worse) because he got his hopes up. instead he's just. a walking zombie sometimes.

one day on the weekend, even wakes up to isak softly snoring. he rolls off the bed, gently, to make some breakfast. and when he gets back to their bedroom, he can see the absolute terror in isak's eyes.

"what's wrong" he asks, and he's starting to panic.

it takes a while-- most of this part of the memory is locked behind a door in even's mind, but later when isak comes back from another doctor's appointment, he learns that it's called sleep paralysis.

"i saw monsters," isak tells him quietly, and even can see isak's hand shaking a little. "i thought i was going to die."

even doesn't know what to say. he recognises the feeling-- from the monster inside his own head that sometimes visits him and overstays its welcome. when he wakes up one day, feeling the depression slowly dissipate, he tends to think, "i thought i was going to die" too.

he holds isak tightly instead, and doesn't really say anything. but isak hugs him back tighter (but much weaker than he would've a month ago) and he knows that they'll get through this. 

and i’ve talked to both anki and sunny about pokémon go and the boy sqad so...

since even is a '97 there's no reason for him not to be completely hyped up about pokemon go. like. magnus is like lowkey, jonas is probably more with even on this and mahdi and isak are like ?? but even and jonas definitely drags them all around oslo, trying to catch the fucking digital creatures and nearly screams when a Rare appears on their nearby list.

guess who gasped when gen2 was released? even. 

guess who groaned? isak.

but it's actually quite useful, isak finds, for when even is getting restless and can't sleep. isak suggests, "let's see if there's any new pokémon, shall we?" and out they go. for half an hour, an hour-- maybe two hours late at night, just strolling and trying to get them. when they get back home, even finally manages to fall asleep, and isak is holding him tightly, muttering about "guess im not the only nerd in this relationship," before he too falls asleep.

what they’re scared of:

what even is scared of:

being alone for too long, being left, being lost at an unfamiliar place, breaking something he's gotten as a gift, forgetting important dates, losing someone he loves, baring his soul, of himself when something feels Wrong but still not really wrong at all, making mistakes

what isak is scared of:

being left, dark and small spaces, getting bad grades, Weird Insects™, hurting someone he cares about,

(spiders especially:

me: so i totally think isak would be scared of spiders and literally shriek when he sees one this summer and jumps up on a chair calling for even to come save him and even is like..... mate It's our roommate Bengt or smth

And isak is like no take it outside!!!! and then when Bengt has been let out to live its spidery life even just gently teases isak a little and isak is like no this didn't happen idk what you're talking about WHERE'S YOUR PROOF 

anki: "I'm the master of liking spiders. they're so very...... nice"

me: "especially their..... legs?"

anki: "they have like....... eight legs don't you think that's......................... A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH"

me: "a little bit too much" is definitely said with a squeak)

and

whatever you do absolutely do not think about the squads having a movie night at evak's place and isak falls asleep on even's shoulder, and even lets him sleep there for a while, even though he notices how isak starts to drool all over him, and when the movie is over the squads fall quiet because-- wow isak really is the softest boy around even???? and even just gestures them to be quiet and carries isak over to their bed and isak wakes up a bit, asking if the movie is over and if it was any good and he's sorry he fell asleep and please tell everyone good night from me and that i love my friends

and even does that, and when he comes back to bed isak is fast asleep again and he was honestly just going to lie close to isak for a while before cleaning up the plates and bowls for snacks they've used but he falls asleep to, holding isak closely and hearing his boy's deep breathing.

when he wakes up, in the middle of the night however, isak has managed to turn the tables and he's being held by isak again. he doesn't mind, even if isak has started drooling on his neck again

about even’s first movie being about isak:

me:

do you ever think abt even making his first movie and it isn't directly about isak but it's about his /love/ for isak and when isak watches it for the first time he is a sobbing mess

anki:

also the credits just begin with "for you" without putting a name in there and isak just SOBS AND SOBS AND SOBS

evak + snowboarding

next winter even definitely takes isak out for some snowboarding but isak is definitely hopeless at it and isak can be heard muttering about "is it even normal to want to be this high up on a fucking mountain and wanting to race down this shit on a fucking snowboard"

u know when u eaten spicy food and u wake up feeling hangover the next day? (i don’t but my apparently this is a thing lmao)

one day even makes the food too spicy but isak really wants to prove him he's Tough(TM) and eats it all and tries not to complain or show he's suffering and the next day isak wakes up feeling like he's hungover because there was so much salt and seasoning and shit that his body is like. mate. water pls.even laughs as he hands isak a waterbottle.

this summer evak moment we won’t see:

one day this summer, even will wake isak up at like 9am and be like "we're going to the beach today yes we aaaaree" and isak is like, tiredly, "we are?" and even is like YEP GET UP YOU LAZY BOY and the breakfast is in the table for isak when he has finally managed to roll out of bed and when he enters the kitchen isak opens the freezer bc "it's too hot even I can't live like this" and even closes the freezer bc "we have food in there isak, please" and then they get to the beach and isak rolls out the blanket or the towel and literally slumps down and falls asleep again, only to wake up to even touches his legs with.... something??? and isak squeaks "what are you DOING" and even stops for a second before he says "you need sun protection my pale boy, or do you want to turn into Donald trump?"

and then even plays some music on his phone, probably nas bc why not, and then isak wakes up again and is like "I need water NOW im BURNING" and they race into the water laughing and tripping and then they probably kiss in the water and isak challenges even into another hold your breath under the water competition and isak is so so grumpy that he never wins that shit 

like there’s a lot? of shit i’ve shared? like ?? i can’t go through everything im sorry ;n;

this is a fkn mess, im so so so so sorry

and i’ve shared tonnes of headcanons with sunny amongst others, like. it’s impossible to mention all of them rip

also this is super not in order we’ve spoken about them?? and they’re like. sometimes in swedish and sometimes in english it’s? a mess honestly? and like. all of the above is basicaly copy paste bc im too lazy trying to make sense hahhahaa sorr,y

#. en jävligt lång post #anonymous #owlpost