#i had to very quickly remove the eye makeup before leaving for the teacher training lmao

[ourbastardofsorrows]

looking as fresh as the day i crawled out of my grave

#my face #i had to very quickly remove the eye makeup before leaving for the teacher training lmao #apparently red eyeshadow isnt business casual 🙄

[beyond-the-mirror]

Music of the Night (V x Reader)

Hello everyone! Another chapter done and ready. Now that I got some few chapters done, I’ll go back to writing Nocturnal Encounters as well, so stay tuned.

Special thanks to @minteyeddemon and @thedyingmoon for being awesome writers. If you want to be tagged too, you are free to ask me anytime.

…………

Chapter 5: Revelation

“Bravi! Bravi! Bravissimi!”

A standing ovation was right before you. Tears started forming in your eyes as you curtsied gratefully to the audience. You had just finished performing Elissa’s aria ‘Think of Me’, and judging by the reaction of all the spectators, your performance was an utter success.

The velvet curtains closed in front of you, allowing you to retire back towards the green room where all your colleagues congratulated you warmly for the amazing job you did on the stage.

As an intermission was announced at the end of the act, the Vicomte stood from his seat at one of the boxes and excused himself from his companions. As Raoul walked out and into the hallway, he contemplated what he had just witnessed happening on stage. The way you moved across the stage in smooth and airy strides, the divine emotion conveyed in your voice as you sang the aria, the authenticity and sheer bliss in your smile and your eyes…

Such a wonderful woman you were, skilled, hardworking… When he first laid eyes on you, he felt a unique and tender sensation flowing inside of him. You had bewitched him, and enthralled him to no extend.

As a smile formed on Raoul’s face, he quickly made his way through the hallway.

…………

“What a wonderful night! I am proud to announce that this production has been an outstanding success!” Firmin entered the crowded green room. The opera had just finished and the all the performers and staff members were now reunited there. “Thank you everyone, for we know that tonight’s show couldn’t have been made possible without each and every single one of you. And now, it’s time for a celebration!”

Every time after a successful premiere, one of Fortuna’s most prestigious venues would close off for the day to host a party for all the staff members of the Opera House. Now everybody was looking forward to a nice hangout with food and drinks after all the effort they put in the production finally paid off.

You were currently sitting at your vanity inside your very own private dressing room, given to you since you were now the new lead soprano and actress for ‘Hannibal’. The heavy makeup had finally been removed and your hairdo was already undone, your locks of hair cascading freely down your back. All the accessories and jewelry had now been discarded and carefully put away, your usual earrings now back on your ears, and a lovely white silk robe now over the red and gold costume dress you had been wearing for the musical.

You sat there thoughtfully as you held the portrait of your father in your hands. You had taken it with you and placed it on the vanity of the dressing room for good luck, so that you could feel his spirit right at your side supporting you.

Placing the picture up to your chest, you gently smiled. “Thank you papa.” And with a soft kiss on the image of your father, you placed the picture once again on the vanity before moving a scented candle next to it, carefully lighting it up.

A knock on the door distracted you from your train of thoughts. Moving to open it, you were greeted by Nico as well as…

“Kyrie?! Nero?!” you squealed as the red haired woman ran towards you and pulled you into a warm tight hug. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here in Fortuna?!”

“Wanted to surprise you.” Nero gently hugged you as soon as Kyrie pulled off and let you breathe again. “Although to be honest, we were the ones surprised when we suddenly saw you as the main character.”

“Indeed. Why didn’t you tell us before?” Kyrie questioned you with curiosity and confusion in her eyes. “You were absolutely divine on stage! And your voice was so beautiful, you completely owned that aria!”

Kyrie’s words made a blush appear on your cheeks, that is until Nero asked a question you definitely didn’t want to answer.

“Where did you learn to sing like that?”

“Umm…” you trailed off, unsure of what to tell them. “I-It’s a very long story actually. Let’s just say a… ‘special’ person for me has been giving me a few lessons.”

“Well, whoever this person is hun-” Nico wrapped an arm around your shoulder “-they definitely taught you well judging by that blessed performance of yours. By the way, you going to the party later?”

“Thank you Nico but I’m still not sure. I’m feeling a little tired, that’s all.”

“In that case you should rest, but if you change your mind you can call us anytime and we’ll take you there.” You continued chatting, catching up with every detail that’s happened in your lives. Kyrie has been doing excellently since ‘Wicked!’ turned out to be a huge success in Broadway, and you promised you would save enough money to go see her perform live. You also mentioned the quite eventful times when famous soprano Carlotta Giudicelli used to work at the Opera House, dealing with her meltdowns were a serious handful for everyone and especially for Madame Trish.

After some time, your friends decided to leave so they could get ready for the party, hugging you goodbye and wishing for you to rest enough so that you could join them later. You were about to change out of your costume when another knock sounded on your door.

“Talk about receiving so many visitors in my dressing room.” You thought as you quickly put on your robe and made your way to open the door. Outside was no other than the Vicomte himself, holding a bouquet of luscious red roses.

“Vicomte de Chagny! What do I owe the honor of your visit?”

“There’s no need to keep the formalities dear, you may call me Raoul if you like.” He offered you a warm and charming smile. “May I come in?”

“Oh sure, please do.” You stepped aside to let him enter.

“I came her to congratulate you personally for the outstanding performance tonight, a gifted voice like yours deserves all the praise this world have to offer.” Raoul handed you the bouquet, which you hesitantly accepted since it was a present you didn’t expect at all from the Vicomte.

“I would also like to request, if it’s not too bold for me to ask, if you wanted to assist to our party as my date for the night.”

Your eyes widened in surprise at his request. “Oh… please excuse me Vi- I mean, Raoul, but I’m afraid I… I do not have a proper dress for the occasion.” You weren’t sure to accept Raoul’s invitation, he was the Opera’s patron after all.

“Oh that’s no problem at all, I’m sure we can find an appropriate dress for you in no time. There are a few local designers I know personally who can gladly lend you a gown. ” Now you didn’t know what to say, your eyes glanced around the room, still unsure wether to go with the Vicomte or not.

You took a seat at the vanity. “I’m deeply sorry Raoul, but to be honest I’m feeling a little exhausted after everything that has transpired.” Pausing for a few seconds, the next words came out your mouth without you realizing. “Besides, i don’t think he would agree…”

Raoul raised an eyebrow in confusion “He wouldn’t agree? Your father or… a boyfriend perhaps?”

You mentally scolded yourself. “Oh! Um no… my voice teacher actually. He is a very strict professor and I’m not sure he would like me going.” It was technically true, the phantom took discipline very seriously just like Trish with every rehearsal. He expected you to be always on time and focus on your lessons, no late partying and such shenanigans since he considered them mere earthly matters that would only get in the way of your career.

Still, Raoul kept insisting, always keeping a charming smile and kind eyes. “Please (Y/N), everyone is waiting for our main star to join us to celebrate the premiere’s success. Maybe your professor wants you to relax and have some fun as a reward for all your efforts this season, I’m sure he’ll understand.”

He had a point. Besides, you could still leave the party at a reasonable hour too and still arrive at your lessons on time.

You nodded your answer. “Alright then, I gladly accept your invitation Raoul. I’m just gonna need some time to change and I’ll see you later.”

He flashed a bright grin before taking your hand in his, kissing the knuckles gently. “I shall leave you then, I’m going to wrap up some business affairs with Firmin and Andre and then I’ll come back to you.” He walked to the door, pausing right before stepping out. “See you later, dear (Y/N).”

As door closed, you turned to your father’s portrait. “I’m not sure papa. I mean, he seems to be a nice man, but…” You let out a sigh. Although at first glance it seemed like Raoul was trying to make an advance on you, there was the possibility that maybe you were simply misunderstanding his actions and that he was just being nice to you. Besides, you didn’t consider too appropriate having a close relationship with the very own patron of the Opera, with you choosing to rather keep things as professional as possible.

“Oh papa… what should I do?”

Suddenly, a chill ran down your spine, feeling as if you were no longer alone in the dressing room.

“Such an insolent boy!” the Phantom’s voice resonated through the entire room, a startled gasp leaving your lungs at the anger in his tone. “How dare this young suitor bask in your glory? Requesting you to ditch your singing lessons for a simple night out.”

“No Phantom, do not speak ill of him.” You searched around the room for the source of his voice, but couldn’t find him. “He’s only being nice. My friends want me to go too, everyone has the right to celebrate after a job well done.”

“I hope you haven’t forgotten what I always tell you about earthly matters.” His voice was now calm but chilling, but you didn’t falter. After all, your family has raised you to always stand up and assert yourself in any situation, and if if your decision was to go and celebrate with your friends then the Phantom has no right to decide over you.

“I haven’t Phantom. ‘Detach yourself from all earthly connections, for they only drive you further from the heavenly music’, those are the words you gave me. I did promise you to never forget them, for you have become my guide, my mentor and my guardian after all this time.”

The Phantom hummed thoughtful before speaking once again.

“Flattering, my child. I am glad to have proven myself worthy of your trust, a precious treasure I shall keep with me always.” He now spoke in a very soft tone, the deepness of his voice almost enrapturing you. “And to show my gratitude for the trust you have confided me these last years, I shall now reveal myself to you, see why in shadow I hide.”

Reveal himself? Were you about to truly meet the Phantom? He kept his identity a total secret ever since he appeared to you that day inside the darkness of the storeroom, and now he was about to reveal his real identity to you!

So many questions filled your mind. Who is he really? Was he an actual ghost? What was his real name?

“Phantom, where are you now?”

“My lovely nightingale, look at your face in the mirror behind you. I am there inside.”

You turned back. Hanging on the wall in front of you was a full body mirror that was normally used during fitting tests for the costumes and when putting on big and complex gowns for the play. You slowly approached it while staring at your own reflection, wondering what the Phantom meant with him being ‘inside the mirror’.

You were now standing right in front of it, the only reflection on its surface being yours. It was then that strange a silhouette appeared right next to your own reflection, it was barely visible and you tried your best to identify what it was.

As the image became clearer, you almost fell to the ground in fear. The faint image of a tall man had appeared next to your own reflection, he appeared to be wearing an all-black outfit consisting in a tailored suit, a long cape on his back and an elegant wide brim hat that obscured the upper half of his face.

There was no doubt about it. It was him.

“Phantom… Is that really you?”

“Yes, my child. I am your angel of music, the one watching over you all this time.” A clicking sound rang in your ears, and right before you, the mirror began sliding to the side, revealing what appeared to be an old set of stairs that descended deeply into the dark.

And right at the entrance, was the Phantom itself. The exquisite black suit fitted perfectly over his lithe body, the collar sporting a twin pair of intricate silver brooches at the lapels of his shirt joined together by two silver chains and each piece decorated with tiny green jewels. Right over the knot of his black silk tie, another similar brooch was pinned, this one bigger and crowned with a beautiful emerald. Under the brim of his hat, you noticed a white mask covering the left side of his face, making you wonder about a possible reason for the man to obscure his face.

“My angel of music, hide no longer from me.” Soft plump lips parted as the words left his mouth, his voice deep, full of mirth and power.

He raised a hand dressed in a black glove, offering it to you.

“Come to me, my angel of music.”

Something inside you started pulling you towards him, this man that towered over you and held such power and magnificence in his presence. It was like your mind somehow disconnected itself from reality, and unconsciously, you were already taking steps towards the Phantom.

“Come to me, my angel of music.”

He repeated. Your eyes darkened and half-lidded, your lips slightly parted as steady puffs of air left your lungs. His elegant and mighty figure towered over you, tall and proud, an oddly familiar cane held firmly on his other hand. Why was it so familiar? Why?

“Come to me, my angel of music.”

Entering the passage inside the mirror, you stood right before him. And with a sway of his cape, the Phantom closed the mirror back to its former place right behind you.

…………

“What a performance I say! I even dare to assure we have made the greatest discovery of the year with Miss (Y/N)!” Andre exclaimed loudly as they all made their way towards the main foyer of the theatre, now that the business side had been sorted, the only thing left to do was to celebrate.

“I completely agree, I can see a bright and successful career ahead of her.” Raoul added to the new owners’ compliments about you. “Now if you excuse me, gentlemen, I shall fetch Miss (Y/N) from her dressing room. I assume she must be ready by now to go to the party.”

“Very well then Vicomte, we’ll see you both there.” Andre bowed before leaving alongside Firmin.

Once outside your dressing room Raoul politely knocked at the door, but to his surprise, no answer came. He knocked again, twice, still not answer.

“(Y/N)? Is everything alright there?” No answer.

Fearing something might have happened to you, he quickly opened the door… only to find the dressing room completely empty.

“(Y/N)?” His eyes searched everywhere, but couldn’t find you. Looking down, a single rose from the bouquet he had gifted you earlier had fallen to the floor and now laid forgotten in the middle of the room.

#devil may cry #phantom of the opera au #dmc V #V x reader #V x you #self-insert #fanfiction #fanfic

[nekocosmicgalaxygirl]

☀️KIMETSU NO YAIBA OC☀️

━━━━━━━━※━━━━━━━━

━━━━━━━━※━━━━━━━━

• ~ ✧ Give up? I'm sorry but that's not in my vocabulary ✧ ~ •

      ≫──── ·· ••• ·· ────≪

☀️NAME

=Karui (First Name) Seimei (Last Name) The meaning of his full name is "light of life". It was given by his family, why during his presence is the only light that gives him reason to live for her.  

☀️ NICKNAME

=Ray of light (For his elder brother Taiyo Seimei) Kitsune (For the townspeople because of the fox mask) Dead eyes (for Fuku Saikō) Angel of light (Ryūsa Aisuru)

☀️ AGE

=He is 19 years old, was born on October 29.

☀️ BREED

=Semi Human, because you experienced it with demon parts, you don't even know what it really is.

☀️ GENDER  

=Female.

☀️ SEXUALITY

=Heterosexual.

• ~ There is no doubt that there are stupid people here. ✧ ~ •     

 ≫──── ·· ••• ·· ────≪

☀️APPEARANCE

=She measures 1.71 cm, her weight is 48 kg (She eats a lot of meat because she has a demon stomach since, she never tires of eating)

= Its appearance is light brown skin with a light red tone

= Her eyes are yellow with a shade of orange, many seeing her coldness give her an absolute fear, but she smiles a few times only when seeing her like this one is surprised and causes her tenderness.

=Her hair is of a mixture between yellow and light orange and in her very dark orange tips with a mixture of blood of a crimson red color due to a certain amount of demons that she murdered according to the people of other villages oh other hunters but in reality she was born like this with a strange but striking color  

☀️ CLOTHING

=During her missions, she wears the dress of a demon hunter, apart from the fact that she wears a sun Haori from a sunrise to which it is very striking from time to time she occupies her fox mask of disaster prevention, in her spare time she occupies a kimono of a pastel orange and the middle part of the hair is tied

☀️DISABILITIES

=He has a Scar on the abdomen due to an experiment she suffered.

☀️ IRREGULARITIES

=Since her childhood she had been born with fangs as other children bothered her, treating her like hell

• ~ ✧ I don't know why, but I really get happy when I make others feel good ✧ ~ •

「Psychological aspects」

☀️PERSONALITY

=Karui is a very cold Girl with other people, represses her emotions through a mask, rarely demonstrates her emotions to others, because if it is in an extreme situation or if there is something that at that time can express what she feels doing something that makes her feel good but, almost most of the time she demonstrates seriousness without even having a kind of comparison against a demon because she is still frustrated that she will experience it with demon organs and let her live, after her childhood was a Real nightmare

=In situations of her personality, when she is angry but she is not demonstrating it, what she does is give a knee in the face oh a kick in the stomach, she has a lot of patience but if they annoy her all the time she can get angry.

=But in extreme situations, if a demon manages to get Karui out of his boxes, he may show his true self by turning his eyes a crimson red by releasing his half demon.

=There are times when he can no longer bear the pain of the loss of his loved ones, he begins to cry, releasing all his sorrows.

☀️ LIKES

= Meat and vegetables

=To train

=Cheer on others  

=the animals

☀️ DISLIKES  

=Cockroaches

=The womanies

=The demons

=Be Makeup

☀️ DISORDERS

=For having parts of the devil because of that at night she has nightmares where she loses the beings she loves most, there are times that she cannot wake up because the demon that lives inside her tortures her own need.

☀️ FEARS

= He is afraid of becoming fond of other people who he meets along the way Why after a while he suffers witnessing the raw death of what she has loved.

• ~ ✧I won't stop until that demon is totally eliminated✧ ~ •

「Personal issues」

☀️HISTORY

= At the time the tragedy had arisen, it was at the time that Karui was 6 years old, in her childhood she was very happy, she remained happy, but the other children bothered her by calling her a phenomenon or demon just to be born with fangs, there are times that He witnessed those raw scenes that his beloved older brother was beaten by those children just for defending him.

He didn't care if he was beaten because he was immune to pain but she does care, he hates that his brother is seriously hurt, other than that. that he couldn't do anything to avoid it because he didn't have enough courage to face them and protect his brother, it hurt even his soul There were times when Karui wished she hadn't been born in this world with a lot of cruelty.

She felt a lot of guilt that there are people who belittle her parents, but the strange thing for her is that they didn't care at all at all, all they cared about is that she was happy, they did it so that she was not sad and that she continued to draw a beautiful and radiant smile One day she and her older brother were walking through the forest places collecting peaches until they had suddenly witnessed an appearance of a three-eyed demon and had an ax in a rare way in his hand, the demon noticing the presence of the children were heading quickly to kill them and then eat them, but hopefully they had been saved by a demon hunter who was supposedly a member of the pillars, the pillar of the flames, after a few minutes of making sure she and her brother were Well and that will guide you to your home, it was gone.

A few hours later Karui was alone sitting in the forest of plum blossoms where she was before collecting the fruits together with her brother she knew perfectly that it was dangerous to be alone and just when they had seen a demon in these places but she was quite stealthy at Listen to someone approaching her sense of hearing and apart that at that time there was no sun during the apparition of the devil, she was pondering what happened about what her older brother said about being demon hunters and on what breath, when the child returned home for the time the sun was already setting, when she returned home she witnessed the harsh death of her family among the flames, and the townspeople blamed her that she was responsible from the fire of the other houses, for being a demon, treating her as a murderer, she was in a panic, she had not done anything, she simply did nothing and falsely blamed that she was the monster here, she was thrown into a 3-meter cliff to die .

She thinking that she was going to die giving her last breaths had suddenly woken up in a different place, she was lying in a nursing class but with many damages she realized that she had tubes in her arms and in her abdomen She even had a big scar in that place that suddenly started to hurt, she felt weak because she could not move, unknown men approach her saying that she has a very strange blood, she had saved her life because they introduced organs of hell, they wanted to use it as a weapon against the other demons, Karui felt very badly surprised and scared He wanted to escape from here but he could not, why did he realize that they were using it as an experiment since they had not yet finished with her one day he had heard screams and supposed that there was a demon, she finally asked to move escape from the place and The only one she saw before she could leave here was a stranger with a formal suit and red eyes who looked at her from that place, Karui, for the days she had been hungry, she walked aimlessly weakly while the people looked at her for sorrow, she was saved by Tamayo who was in those places at night.

He had healed her wounds and even injected some vaccines so that the demon cells would not have an effect on her, he had taken care of her for 5 years until she considered her as her own mother, made a hairstyle with a tape that matched her his eyes and hair that had kept him with love Karui at the age of 11 Tamayo had told him the descriptions of the demons due to his demon blood, his power, even the 12 demonic moons along with the very person responsible for the appearance of demons and the most powerful, also He said that the death of his father had not been by a simple accident but by the work of a demon who possesses a fire ability, says goodbye to him thanking him for taking care of her since he was leaving the place on his own to be a demon hunter, to find that demon responsible for the death of his family, also defeat the creator of demons called muzan kibutsuji.

☀️ EXTRA

=He is afraid of Tomioka when he gets angry at her when he is seriously hurt due to his stubbornness for his confrontations with demons, because he does not want anything bad to happen to her.

=He takes pity on the pillar of sound and the pillar of the wind as he always discusses with them even hits the blows with sanemi when his patience runs out.

=He doesn't get along with Shinobu, because Karui is annoyed that he insults giyuu that everyone hates him even the annoying he likes and is ashamed of that.

=He hates to remove the tape from his hair since it is of sentimental value.

=When he entered the group of demon hunters he fainted by using concentrated breathing.

=When he met Tanjiro and the others, Tanjiro saw him as the Frenton steel boy, Zenitsu was sad to see him cry and that he needed help from Inosuke with the wild boar mask he looked like a strange semi-human animal that speaks and is a hunter of demons but without the mask she had eyes of a girl and with a bad character, she does not care why she shows potential and motivation but when she met Nezuko she does not decide to kill her because she had a bad time in her past and she is aware own what is right and what is wrong apart that the pink-eyed demon girl gets along very well with karui.

=She rescues children who lost their families by giving home on her teacher's farm that she and her husband welcome them with pleasure treating them like their children.

=Karui is not drinking Sake because when she takes a drop she falls asleep deeply and the next day she gets up with a headache. she is ashamed or blushes when she is praised for the good things she does, such as trying to cheer up others.

=His raven is very disturbing apart from that he insults other people and also says macabre threats, there are times when Karui wonders why the hell this crow touched him.

=Karui almost always occupies a combat at hand to prevent him from breaking his sword, since she is a good example for the blacksmiths of the town.  

=The patron asks Karui to be the pillar of light, for the moment he is thinking about it.

• ~ ✧I express my emotions with the people that matter most to me, not to damn slags like you✧ ~ •

「Battle Info」

☀️SIDE

=Karui fights for his group of demon hunters, wants to defeat Muzan to find a way to return to normal

☀️RANGE

=Kinoe

☀️EQUIPMENT

=His sword is a style of a rod to which the sword handle is a bit long, but for her he can move it easily without any problem, the handle of his sword is rolled up by a black ribbon and a space has written " Sword of light "and a golden handle that is sturdy, has a white sheath.

☀️SKILLS

= At the moment it has Twelfth positions of the breath of light only that in the Twelfth it still does not manage to dominate it

-First form of light illusion: She quickly attacks her opponent with serious damage due to her breath without being able to react to such an attack.

-Second Form Side Illumination: She attacks in multiple ways confusing her opponent by pushing herself with something resistant, to finally cut the head of the demon is like a light passing through several mirrors.

-Third Backlight Form: She attacks from above where the demon is without noticing its presence

-Fourth Form Diffraction: With just one movement of his sword, the demon's head can be cut despite the long distance due to the rapidity of the attack.

- Fifth form dance of light: Through the dance a quantity of light accumulates in your sword by the movement avoiding the attacks of the demon that can be powerful that of a step followed when cutting the head instead of disintegrating in ashes disintegrates disappearing with small lights but in a very painful way for the demon that is burning while it reaches hell.

- Sixth form Dragon of light: within a battle, when making the attack his sword is formed a dragon thus attacking directly

-Seventh form Solar Eclipse: A ray of light is caused that from a distant battle a rotating attack with a glow ends the demon.

- eighth shape fire light twist: Like the seventh way but a close battle, with a surprise attack by the effect of light on the sword but unlike multiple turns before the demon will make its attack

- Ninth Form dazzling lights: She occupies that form if she is in a severe extreme squeeze during a powerful demon that she avoiding the attack by teleporting as small lights arrives on the other side of the battle closely with the enemy.

- Tenth Shape rotating lights: if the enemy attacks it from above or diagonally, avoid the attack with several lights around it that forms a turn of Fire.

- Eleventh Wings of Light Form: A simple illusion is propelled by propelling from the air to avoid a fall of several meters or in a battle.

- Twelfth Angel Guardian of Light Form: In a severely extreme situation a glow is caused in it rising from the air turning its eyes with illumination just like its sword forming the Sun Mark on its forehead, she as a ray of light destroys the demon due to a light of fire caused by the sword, only for the moment he still cannot control it.

- Karui has a good sense of sight that can see the enemy from afar or even in battle see the movements of the attack, also has a good sense of hearing, because he can hear someone approaching from afar

☀️ WEAKNESSES

=She can withstand many attacks by demons, but her weakness is the large scar on her abdomen that if she was hit hard in that place, she would be unable to move.

☀️ STATISTICS

≡ Strength: 10/10

≡ Dexterity: 10/10

≡ Agility: 10/10

≡ Luck: 7/10

≡ Charisma: 6/10

≡ Speed: 9/10

≡ Intelligence: 9/10

• ~ ✧There are certain difficult, complicated and sad moments that there is a certain time that you have to cry to avoid this discomfort✧ ~ •

────────────────────

────────────────────

│││ . . . .

││✧ . . .

│✧ . ︿︿︿︿︿ • • .

✧

Good bye

#my oc art #my oc #my art #kimetsu anime #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba oc #oc kny #kny oc #kny fanart #kny anime #kimetsu no yaiba anime

[strangerivy]

Let The Rain Fall - Seven

Summary: Graduation. The day every High School Senior looks forward to. A day that is supposed to be filled with farewells and happy lasting memories. This is what Elena expected at least.  Warnings: None in this chapter, some anxiety attacks throughout the series Pairings: Jasper  x OC (Elena)  Genre: 17+ | Fluff Word Count: 2605 Author’s Note: Let me know what you think! I am always open to feedback to better my writing ♥  

Links: || One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight || Masterlist ||

12:00PM

Today was the day. Graduation day. The day I would officially become a member of human society. At least for now. Till I become a vampire that is.

I was sitting in Alice's room with Bella and Alice, who insisted on doing our makeup and hair for today. Saying something about how there is nothing like your first graduation. Bella told me to just let her do it and that's what I did. I smiled and took it. I would have just gone to graduation with my hair done and no makeup, but this will do too, and it would make my mom happy. 

Truthfully, I had a lot more going on in my head then the worries of graduation. So many thoughts about the future and what it would be like for me. Jasper and I hadn't set a date yet on when I would be turned. We haven’t really talked about it at all since the first conversation. I honestly had been avoiding the conversation altogether.

I glanced over at Bella, she was sitting over by the windows reading a book as she waited for her turn with Alice. A part of me envied her. She was so sure and so certain about what she wanted with Edward. She was letting go of her old life so easily. I noticed her splint was no longer on.

"How's your wrist?" She looked up at me with an amused smile

"Healed, for the time being," I shook my head at her, Alice patted me on the shoulders, I looked up into the mirror to see her work. Alice kept the make-up simple and natural but curled my hair to have a beachy wave look, it was pretty. It made me kind of wish I had the patience to do it myself more often.

"All done! Bella!" I got up from the chair taking Bella's spot by the window.

"I can't believe the one time I'm not there; you punch a werewolf." We both laughed and Alice shook her head at us.

"If you want to punch him next time, be my guest. Though I would not advise it." It went silent and my face started to fall again as the thought of the future started to take hold again. Bella must have noticed.

"Alice, could I have a minute with Elena." I looked up at her confused and Alice just gave a soft smile placing a comforting hand on my shoulder before exiting her room closing the door behind her.

"What is it, Elena?" I looked back at Bella trying to play it off fine.

"It's nothing," She frowned, getting u and coming over to sit with me, I moved over so she would have room. I sighed knowing she wasn't going to drop it. "It's just... How are you so sure? How are you so okay with...with leaving your human life behind?"

"So, this is what's been bothering you for the past few days? Jasper has just been all over Edward about it." That brought a soft chuckle but then we both went serious.

"Remind me to thank Edward later," I half-joked letting out a weak laugh, "How are you so sure?" I blurted out again looking up at Bella. She gave me a small smile before taking my hands into hers.

"It's because I belong here Elena," I stared at her as she spoke that sentence so calmly without any doubt as I tried to understand what she was saying. "This world feels normal. I know that sounds crazy, but it does."

That's when I got it. My life before the Cullen's, before Jasper, was exhausting. The continuous battle with trying to fit into some sort of group at schools or with people in general. Then I moved here, and everything was easy. Being here was easy, just like breathing. It was like I was born into the wrong...species. I guess that would be the correct word. I was meant to be here, right here. I let out a loud laugh as the realization sunk in and it felt like a weight, I had been carrying my whole life was being lifted off my chest.

"I get it," I smiled back at her and she beamed back at me before giving my hands a squeeze and getting back into her seat and calling Alice back in.

"Now! Back to my work, we are almost done, and it is almost time to go!" Alice clapped her hands in excitement which only made us laugh.

1:30PM

I waited in my designated place in line as we waited to be called into the gym. We were in alphabetical order my name is towards the end of the alphabet I looked ahead and spotted the blonde hair I was looking for and as if he knew I was looking at him he turned his head locking eyes with me and I smiled at him and he returned it mouthing an 'I love you' before a teacher came out telling us to head in.

Once seated the ceremony began, a speech from the principle and then a speech from a school administrative none of us had ever interacted with and then they started naming the students, I clapped and cheered for all of the Cullen's, even though I knew this was just another graduation for them and screamed for Bella almost louder than her dad. Then when my name was called and I walked up onto the stage, I looked around and spotted my mom. She was crying and cheering and clapping. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I saw the happiness in her eyes and then the anxiety struck. My chest tightened and I fought so hard to keep it together. I sucked in a breath and before the hyperventilating, I could feel start a wave of relief rushed over and I knew it was Jasper.

I thanked the teacher handing out the diplomas and quickly went back to my seat. The one thing that didn't cross my mind when I was speaking to Bella earlier. My mother. My innocent mom, who had been through so much was now going to lose a daughter. Her only child. I looked up to meet Jaspers eyes full of concern and worry. I gave him a weak smile before looking back up the stage not meeting his eyes again the rest of the ceremony. I knew Edward was reading my mind, so I tried to keep my head clear of any thoughts.

After it was over, I met my mom outside who embraced me in a teary hug bring a happy laugh. That's when I saw him. My brief moment of happiness ruined. I frowned as he walked over.

"Proud of you bug," He said giving me a hug that I didn't return. I kept my eyes straight. "Your mother tells me-"

"What are you doing here?" I cut him off not wanting to make any small talk with him. My father frowned but kept his composure.

"It's your graduation," He simply stated, my body was fuming. It didn't help that I was already upset, to begin with.

"Sweetheart," my mother whispered placing a comforting hand on my shoulder that I shrugged off.

"Well it’s over now, you can leave." I stared at him in the eyes and anger flashed in his eyes but was gone within seconds, not wanting to make the scene most likely. I turned to my mother giving her a hug.

"I have to go get ready for the party; I love you," I said before walking off before my father could say anything more. I walked away not heading in any direction in particular before I collided into what felt like a wall. I looked up after regaining my composure to see a grinning Emmet.

"There you are! Jasper has been looking for you," He beamed throwing an arm around my shoulder

"Excuse me but who the hell are you," I groaned turning to see my father marching over to us, Emmet looked down at me and I shook my head.

"Dad, go." I urged stepping in between him and Emmet. Not that I wouldn't mind see Emmet break a bone, but this was neither the time nor place for that. 

"Is this the guy you've been seeing?" he questioned gesturing to Emmet, Emmet stepped forward this time in a very brotherly proactive manner.

"No, but that would be my brother." He said defensively "I don't suppose you have a problem with him?" I could tell by the way my father was shuffling on his feet that Emmet made him nervous.

"Emmet," I whispered trying to get him to be quiet knowing he was only making the situation worse.

"Dad, you lost your father privileges a long time ago, now, please. Leave." I grabbed Emmet's arm pulling on it signaling him I wanted to go, knowing very well I could not force the freight train if he didn't want to.

"I am still your Father Elena. Like it or not." I turned this time rage taking over. I let go of Emmet storming my way over to him stopping a few feet from him.

"You don't get to come here and pretend to be this" I half yelled motioning to all of him, "I didn't need you as a child and I especially don't need you now." I walked back over to Emmett and he led me over to the rest of the Cullen's who were standing near their cars. I spotted Jasper who was looking past me I looked behind my shoulder to see my father still standing there looking defeated and broken. I almost felt bad for the man but the damage was already done. Once over to Jasper he pulled me into a hug kissing the top of my head.

"Congratulations," he smiled down at me and I laughed shaking my head at him 

"The first of many," I joked getting a small laugh from him. He led me over to Edwards Volvo opening the backdoor for me.

"Let's go, people! We have a party to get ready for!" Alice shouted excitedly getting into Emmet's jeep. We all groaned at her but with smiles on our faces.

6:00PM

I was really impressed with how Alice transformed the downstairs of the Cullen’s house, removing the furniture to create a dance floor and hired a caterer to have some food. I stayed in Jasper's room as the set up began. Seeing my father really put a strain on my mood.

I sat on the bed staring out into the woods, a knock from the doorway pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked over to see Jasper standing there with a soft smile, I returned it turning my head to look back into the woods. I felt the bed sink as he sat down next to me his hand rubbing my back gently.

"Do you want to talk about today?" I tensed up knowing what he was talking about. The ceremony. When my anxiety suddenly acted up. I remained silent feeling my eyes began to water. I sucked in a breath unsure of what to say. I put my head in my hands staring down at the floor.

"My mother." Was all I was able to mutter out between the tears that were now flowing freely. He reached under my arms lifting my head up by my chin making me look into his golden eyes. "I'd never get to see her again." He gave me a broken smile.

"We can wait, Elena." He said and I shook my head looking back out into the woods.

"No, it would only make it harder." I wiped away the tears standing up flattening out the dress that Alice had picked out for me. It was a simple emerald green dress the went just above the knee. She said it was the perfect color to bring out my eye color. I took a deep breath trying to collect myself.

"Elena," Jasper whispered placing a hand in my shoulder, I turned to face him.

"Not tonight Jasper, please," I begged giving him the best smile I could muster up. He looked at me worried but nodded anyway offering me his hand. I took it and he led me down the stairs. I heard the music before we fully got down the stairs. It was already filled with people. I spotted Bella talking with Jessica and Angela. I looked up at Jasper and he smiled motioning his head for me to go over there. I maneuvered my way around the new graduates who were enjoying the first night of adulthood.

"Elena, " Bella greeted once I got over to them "I was wondering when you would come down." she pulled me into a hug when we pulled away she raised an eyebrow at me in question when she noticed my slightly puffy eyes.

"Jessica that speech was amazing!" I said before Bella could say anything.

"You think? It wasn't too cliché?" She asked even though I knew that she knew it was amazing. I nodded my head with a smile.

"Oh my god! I love this song!" Angela cheered pulling Jessica with her to the dance floor. I looked over at Bella to see she was looking past me with a very pissed off expression. I looked over my shoulder to see what she was staring at and then I saw him. Jacob. Along with Quil and Embry. Now I was starting to get upset, the memory of Jake and I's last meeting still very fresh in my mind.

"What are they doing here?" I turned my head back looking back at Bella. She shook her head and then started walking towards them. I stayed back but turning to face them keeping an eye on the situation. Jacob looked over at me and it made me tense up and I looked away deciding I needed some air. I went out on to the porch. It was chilly out but bearable at least for a little awhile. I took a deep breath closing my eyes and leaning my head back slightly. The fresh air felt good and it was calming my nerves.

"Thought I would find you out here." I looked over at where the voice came from and saw Jasper smiling at me, his hands in his pockets. I smiled back at him chuckling a little from a bit of embarrassment. He walked over to me grabbing my hand and brought it up to his lips kissing it softly. I turned pulling him into a hug bearing my face into his chest taking a deep breath. He rubbed my back softly letting me relax into him. "It's been quite a day." I laughed at that pulling back to look up at him. There was something in his eyes telling me that there was something wrong. I pulled back a little from him.

"What is it?" I asked worried evident in my voice.

"The army." Was all he said, I dropped my head knowing what this meant. It was time. The vampire army that they had been watching was finally coming. "We are having a training session with the wolves,"

"I want to come." He signed running his hand through his hair when he looked back at me with a half-grin. I crossed my arms showing that I wasn't budging on this. I wanted to see. I wanted to know what he was going to be going through.

"I knew you would say that."

#jasper x oc #jasper Cullen x oc #jasper hale x oc #jasper whitlock x oc #jasper cullen #jasper hale #jasper whitlock #jasper fanfic #jasper Cullen fanfic #jasper hale fanfic #jasper whitlock fanfic #jasper hale x reader #jasper Cullen x reader #jasper whitlock x reader #twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight fandom #twilight fanfic

[missnctyukhei]

Forbidden Fruit (M) pt.1

Pairing: teacher!jaehyun x reader Request: Hi can i request teacher Jaehyun smut? Thank you 💞💞 Genre: smut, teacher!au Warnings: AU teacher!jaehyun, student!reader - student/teacher relationship, cheating, smut, smut and smut Word count: 5.4k

PART 2  I  Masterlist  I  Tell me what you think

“I’m gonna cum!” “No wait. I’m not ready.” It was too late. Your boyfriend Nicolas collapse on your body and he's breathing heavily. You roll your eyes and pushed with your palms his heavy upper body a little away from you. Nicolas removed the condom, gets up and starts dressing himself. “And what about me?” You sit up and look at your boyfriend who just pulled the sweater over his head. You could not remember when you had your last orgasm. When you reach your climax, then only when you do it on your own. The sex with Nicolas was never breath-taking, but you thought that was because you had your first time with him and you were inexperienced. But lately he didn’t even care that you somehow reach your climax. “Sorry bae, I need to go to training.” He takes his smartphone from your nightstand and puts a half-hearted kiss on your cheek. “It's just my birthday.” You almost mumble it ironical into yourself, but still so loud that he could hear it. Nicolas turns around once again and looks annoyed over to you. “Yeah…later then.” His eyes turned back to the door and you watch him disappear from your room. You wonder how it could have gotten so far with Nicolas and what you've ever found in him especially. There was a time where you looked up to him and your only goal was to get closer to him. That's why you felt honoured when he wanted you as his girlfriend. Far too soon have you get involved with him, far too soon have you given him your virginity. But you were naive and let yourself blinded by his popularity and appearance.

Your eyes are fixed on the ceiling and you wonder how long you would go through this. You lay naked on the bed, the smell of Nicolas was still everywhere. You feel used and alone. He has not even managed to throw his condom in the bin. You were 18 years old today and somehow you felt like you were stuck in the eternal high school rut. Everything was always the same, nothing changed, just because you suddenly came of age. Sometimes you were not sure if you felt something. There was no love in your life, no orgasm and you are more and more doubtful of ever feeling anything. Is that the life now? Will it stay that way forever?

You got out of your bed and went quickly into the shower to get rid of the smell of Nicolas. When you were done, you felt like a new person for a moment. You put your makeup on and pull your school uniform over. In the kitchen stand a cupcake, where a small piece of paper was enclosed. "All the best for your 18th birthday, we're celebrating tonight, we love you, Mum & Dad." You read and bite into the fluffy cake. Your parents were already at work and so you take your bag to go to school alone. Your dad didn’t start so early every day. When his office started late, he always took you to school by car. But today you were somehow happy to be alone. 

You take your bike and your headphones and struck off. The song Dye the Water Green by Bibio sounds in the speakers of your headphones. It fits perfectly with your mood. It’s getting autumn, the leaves turned slowly golden and you feel how fresh it has become on such a morning like this. The cold air runs through your hair and the freshness makes your cheeks blush. You enjoy the movement and the music. It was the few quiet minutes you had only for you before you had to be with hundreds of students in a school building. You already dreaded when you saw the people in the forecourt. But it was Friday and therefore very close to the weekend.

You parked your bike and walked slowly into the crowd. On the same bench, as every day, gather together your friends Bibi, Rose and Kate. When they saw you they almost screamed. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!" The three hugged you and Rose puts a small crown on your head. The gesture was really cute, but you didn’t want to attract too much attention. But there was no need to worry about it, because the gaze of your friends were suddenly directed somewhere else. At this moment, everything was almost like slow motion. Your three friends are turning around, their hair flying with their movements. Their mouths open slowly, while their eyes watching someone closely. You follow their movements and see how Professor Jaehyun Jung comes in your direction. He was still quite young, unlike the other teachers. Jaehyun Jung teaches history and art in your school, who were you favourite subjects. Every girl at your school loved him and everyone was crazy about getting his attention. But he always behaved professionally. He was polite, friendly, but refused the girls always.

"Good morning Professor!" Rose called and waved to the teacher. It would be almost embarrassing if not everyone would reacted that way. Jaehyun looked over to your group for a moment, smiled and stopped. "Good morning ladies, is there anything to celebrate?" He pointed to the crown on your head and uncertain you reach for it. Rose knees getting soft and she looks excited to her teacher. She felt special because Jaehyun had stopped because of her. She could literally feel the jealous eyes of the other girls and she could not wait to tell everyone about it in the big break. She literally lived because of stuff like this and she was sure she was the only one who were mature enough to do it with an adult. Rose's self-esteem was big and you could not deny that it bothered you in moments like these. “It’s Y/N’s 18th birthday!” She hugged you with one hand and smiled widely. She was able to show him what a good friend she was. You take the crown off, because this whole theatre was quite annoying. Jaehyun looked at you, but his face barely changed. “18? Really? An interesting age.” His gaze was rigidly on you for a few more seconds and that brought your pulse up. Then he smiled slight and made his way back to the school building. While Rose excitedly reflects her actual experience, you can still feel his gaze on your skin. Your hair got up and you gently stroke your upper arm. You couldn’t understand what was happening right now. You hear the words of your friend, but everything around you were blurred. You just could not understand what was going on. “Do you think so also, Y/N?” When Rose addressed you directly, you fell from the clouds. You try to recollect yourself and just nod in agreement. The girls began to giggle and you follow them, although you were still not sure what was going on. “Tell us, did Nicolas give you a birthday present?” Asked Bibi then and you four move slowly into the building. “No, not yet, he has certainly prepared something for tonight.” You don’t know why you are lying. They are your friends and you can tell them the truth. But it was humiliating. For them, you and Nicolas were the perfect couple. You never talked about your relationship, what bothered you and how alone you were. Not because you don’t trust them, you didn’t really get the words out of your mouth. That's probably why it was so hard for you to end the relationship. You'd rather spend your time in a one-sided relationship than pronounce these final words. “I'm sure he gives you something expensive.” Kate looked at you with excited eyes. But you just wave and open your locker to get your books. You didn’t want to hear anything from Nicolas anymore and would like to forget everything. It was just right that the school bell rang and you had to go to class.

The next few hours passed relatively fast by. Your classmates congratulated on your birthday and you were able to get the worst off quickly. The last break was relatively quiet. There were hardly any students left, just your class. Since you were in the final year, you had a little more hours than the other classes. That's why Friday took a little longer. But it was not so bad, because the last lesson was your favourite subject: Art with Professor Jaehyun Jung. You, Rose, Kate and Bibi immediately seat down in the front row, Rose direct in the front of the teacher's desk. She had in the meantime refreshed her makeup and is currently trying to position herself correctly. The professor was still in front of the class and discussing the current photo series, which had to be submitted next week. Photography was one of your passions and so you submitted your project earlier. You put a lot of passion in your work, but not because you wanted to impress Jaehyun Jung. You have gained a new hobby with photography and you were grateful that you came across it, thanks to your art teacher.

"Do you think he is married?" Ask Bibi and study her teacher. "No, I've already checked that out, he does not wear a ring, and he's too young for that." Of course had Rose an answer for that question. "But he certainly has a girlfriend." Kate also looked at her teacher and stroked her lips with her pencil. "That's all nonsense, like he will date one of his students, he's just nice and polite and you misinterpret that." This rapture was enough for you. Yes, you thought too that he was handsome and of course you've thought of touching him. But not every topic of conversation was about him because of this thoughts. You appreciate Professor Jaehyun Jung as a teacher. He did his job well, took the students seriously and encouraged them in their skills. The fact that all the girls had a crush on him made his work only difficult. "You're just jealous that he stopped because of me today, he's doing that to no other student." Rose was in bitch mode. But you just ignore her statement. It didn’t make sense anyway. She had firmly imagined that the professor had an crush on her. It was only a matter of time for her before he asked her out. You could not blame her for that. She was a good friend, but desperate for attention. You just had to learn to ignore Rose sometimes. When the school bell rang, everyone was in their seats very quickly and Professor Jaehyun Jung entered the classroom.

“The Café Terrace at Night was one of the first scenes Van Gogh painted during his stay in Arles. He using contrasting colours and tones and the lines of composition all point to the centre of the work drawing. The brushstrokes vibrate with the sense of excitement and pleasure he experienced while painting this work.” The school bell interrupted his lecture and the students packed their things together to go to the weekend. "Please don’t forget that you should submit the photo series next week, I have already received some contributions, but next week is the deadline.” His voice grew louder and he hoped his words would still appeal to some of his students. Most of them rushed out of class while you still put your school stuff in your pocket. Your friends were already ready to go to the weekend when Professor Jaehyun Jung called you. “Miss Y/L/N can I speak to you?” His voice was serious and decisive. His eyes fell on the papers on his desk, which he went through individually. It all sounded very strange and even the looks of Rose, Kate and Bibi were terrifying. They waved goodbye to you and left the classroom. You got nervous and slowly you stroll to the teacher's desk.It sounded like you were getting in trouble. Many thoughts were in your head. Was your photo series bad? Did you make a mistake? It was quiet for a while, Jaehyun did not say any word. He was still deepened in the documents on his desk. It became quieter in the corridors of the school. Most of them were already in the weekend and you were still sitting in class...at your birthday.

You sit at the table and bob up and down impatiently with your foot. When the last voice in the corridor fell silent, Jaehyun got up and closed the door. He turns around slowly and puts his hands in his pockets. “I looked at your photo series…” When he started his sentence his gaze was focused on the floor. He had not looked at you a single time since he summoned you. You straighten yourself up and wait what would come now. “I was really excited and I think you are very talented.” He looks up at you and it hit you like a lightning strike. Since this morning, his presence made you restless, but in a good way. It all starts to tingling in you and your pulse increases from beat to beat. "The West Side Gallery has put out a contest. The prize is money, a new camera and it would work well in your college application, as one of the gallery's investors is a director of a very prestigious university.” His eyes turn away from you again and he walked up and down in the classroom. “I think you have a really good chance of winning the competition.” With big eyes you look at him. You didn’t expect that. You've already applied to a few universities, but you were generally average. Your grades were normal, you were not in a sports team. Actually, you have already excluded an elite university. "I would like to participate. Are there any regulations?" You smile excitedly and also Jaehyun escaped a satisfied smile. “The forbidden fruit.” He said and stopped his steps. At first you could not completely assign the topic. There was certainly a background to it. But Jaehyun realized that you couldn’t classify the subject. “Do you know the story of Adam and Eva and the forbidden fruit?” You shake your head in disbelief and wait eagerly for his next words. “The Old Testament tells about Adam and Eva who lived in the paradise till the serpent enticed them to eat the forbidden fruit.” His hands were still in his pocket, and he strode to the desk where you were sitting. “The serpent said to the woman, did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden?‘“ He stops only a few millimetres from your knee and he raised his head slightly so he could look deep into your eyes. Goose bumps ran all over your body and the little hairs that just standing up and were almost so far that you could feel him. „And Eva said, We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden, God said, the tree that is in the middle of the garden, you must not touch it, or you will die.“ His eyes were still fixed on you. You try to follow his words attentively, but it has always been harder for you to listen. „Then said the serpent, You will not certainly die, when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.“ He bends his upper body forward to you. His face was close to yours, his gaze still pinned on your eyes. His palms rest on the table next to your hips. He was so close that you could already feel his breath. You feel the blood rise faster and faster in you and your pulse goes up and up. “Eva saw the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.“ His lips were almost on yours, but then he suddenly stopped. You open your eyes slightly and you can see him breathing deeply. He takes a big step back and tries to recollect.

It was quiet between you and him and it also became unpleasant with time. You decide to speak. “The topic seems to be difficult. I don’t know the Bible and I have never dealt with religions.” Jaehyun was halfway turned away from you, his right hand running through his hair. It bothered him something and you were not sure if it was this inexplicable tension between you two. “It does not automatically mean that you have to draw a biblical context. It's about a desire that is forbidden.” He puts his head back and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he turns back to you and looked deep into your eyes. His body was leaning toward to you, taking the position where you almost touched earlier. “Everyone has a craving that he knows is wrong. But this desire grows sometimes to infinity and all you want is to bite into the apple.” His lips were close to yours again. But this time your eyes were wide open. Your heart was pounding and you feel your knees getting soft. "Then bite off." You breath these words and wait for his reaction. It didn’t take a second and his lips found yours. His lips felt so warm and soft. His hands hesitantly roamed up and down your sides back. You lightly open your legs so that Jaehyun could press his body closer to yours. He was still not sure if his actions were right. But everything about you felt good. His hands moved from your hip down to your thighs. He stroked them up and down again and again, so that the hem of your skirt always pulled up a little bit more. Your arms clasped his neck and you pulled your teacher a little closer to you.

“I want you Professor.” You whispered in his ear. “You can call me Jaehyun.” His lips crushed against yours roughly and you gasped as he lifted you up to drag you on his desk. You wrapped your legs around his waist. He unbuttoned your white blouse and when your breasts showed in your pink bra, his kisses shifted to it. You put your head back and Jaehyun strips the blouse over your arms. As he continued to spread kisses on your chest, he opened the closure on your bra to release it from you. He began to massage your bare breasts and pushes you back until you lying completely on the table. His mouth was still on your breasts. He lay over you and with his hands he moved from your thighs upwards. When he arrived with his fingers in your centre, he stopped for a few seconds. He stroked the fine fabric of your underpants and then pushed it a little bit aside. He touched everything on it, every inch was explored. As he strokes over your most sensitive spot, you moan. His eyes turned now to your face and he smiled like he had found an expansive treasure. His fingers stayed in the place where you groaned and he worked on them in a circular motion. At first they were very calm and gentle, but in time they became more demanding. Your breathing and your hips moved with his movements and it seems to you doing a dance on which both of you perfectly interacted. But then he took his fingers, wandered down a little bit and slowly pushed one into you. “Mhmm…already so wet.” He sighed pleased and moved his finger in and out. His eyes were still on you. He enjoyed seeing you like that, give yourself to him completely. Your back is bending in pleasure and you can hardly wait to receive his dick. Jaehyun took a second finger and stretched you a little bit more. His movements became faster and harder. You decide that you could not wait any longer. The desire rose completely and all you want is his dick inside you. “I want you so bad inside me Jaehyun…Please…I need you.” Jaehyun groaned and remove his fingers. He unbuttoned his shirt and released it from his body. Meanwhile, you also remove your last garments. He pulled up his pants and you saw him fully and making you wonder if he could really fit inside you. He presses down against you and you feel the heat of his arousal on your body. You stroke him with one hand and Jaehyun let out a softly moan. He wanted to get his cock in the right place until he thought of something. “Are you on birth control?” He asked and his voice suddenly became serious and decisive again. You shake your head and he went to his bag to pull out a condom pack. At that moment, you wonder if he always had them with him. Did he wait for this day or did he often sleep with other students or teachers? But your thoughts disappear when he stood in front of you. With one hand he touched your hip and with the other he placed his dick in front of your entrance. With his tip he pushed between your folds and pointed again and again to penetrate. This game made you crazy and all you wanted was his dick inside you. Also Jaehyun became impatient and pushed his best piece slowly into you. You moan as he filled you up more and more. What you feel was different than you have ever experienced before. It's like a part of your desire is already satisfied. It was the best gift you could have received. He was everything you wanted at that moment. “Oh my god. I couldn’t wait till you getting 18 years old.” He groaned after he was full into you. You wanted to ask him so many questions. Did he always like you? Did he really wait for you? But Jaehyun caught your breath as his thrusts got faster and harder. His thumb strokes over your wet lips and he looks at you intently as you give yourself completely to him. “You are so beautiful Y/N.” He gasped and shoving his thumb in your mouth. You start to suck on it and Jaehyun's eyes turned inward. His head falls back and a loud moan escaped his lips. His thumb came away from your mouth and he put both hands on your hips to push himself deeper into you. Your legs wrapped around his hips and your palms buried firmly into the table. You enjoy each of his single moves. Every push he gave you, made you want more. It was like an addiction you have never heard of. Everything about him felt good, his smell took you completely in and his touch led you into a complete trance state. His bumps got faster and harder and you feel an unusual warmth coming up in you. But then he stops, but still remains in you. “Which position is the best for you to reach your orgasm?” He asked and starts again to move slowly inside you while holding your face with one hand. His pace was calm and pleasant. It was perfect to be clear for a moment. “I…I never had an orgasm.” You stutter a little, because you were embarrassed to admit that. He stopped his movement for a moment and looked at you in surprise. “Really?” You nod insecure and don’t know how you should act. But he smiles then and turned you around and pushed you back on the table. You lie now with the stomach on the table top. You support yourself with your elbows a bit to lift off your upper body. “Then we should change that.” He raised your leg to put it on the table and push himself inside you again.

You put up your leg, that was already on the table and straighten up your body, so that you could only support yourself with your palms. As he continued to push inside you fast and hard, he took his hand and massaged your clit. You lean your head back on his shoulder as you moan, and he lays his face in your hair. The movements with his cock and his fingers got faster and faster and you didn’t know how to handle it anymore. An unfamiliar, but pleasant feeling came up in you. But slowly you were able to classify the feeling and you think that you are gradually reaching your climax. “Jaehyun…” You whined knowing that if he continued like this you were going to come without any control. Your whimpering drives him even more to the top and he moved even faster. You thought that was no longer possible, but he also increased the pressure on your clitoris. “Are you gonna come for me the first time?” He whispers and tries to keep up the pace. You feel your muscles start to twitch, everything in you vibrate. You let out a loud groan and try somehow to hold on as you reach your climax. Your whole body came and you were over-sensitive. The feeling in you was so powerful, so unique. It was like experiencing the most beautiful thing in the world. Tears gathered in your eyelids and ran down your cheeks. Jaehyun reduced the tempo to the minimum and released his hand from your most sensitive point. He pulled himself out and turned you around. He pulled you over and hugged you. Your body was still twitching and you still had a whimpering on your lips. He holds you tight and waits until you calm down. After your body came to rest, Jaehyun gave you an intense kiss. “Are you ready for me again?” You nod and he took your legs to put them on his shoulders. He took his dick in his hand and pushed himself in you again. His movements were gently at first, but he was getting faster and faster. “Oh god…Jaehyun, you are so fucking good.” You adulate and with your praise he trust harder. One of his hand clutching your breast and you grab your fingers in his shoulders. “I’m gonna…Oh god…Y/N can I cum on you?” You nod, lean back and support yourself with your elbow. He pulled his dick out as quickly as possible, peeled off the condom and began to jerk himself off in front of you. He went over the edge when the white substance splashes over your stomach up to your breasts. He groaned loudly as he continued milking himself, but his movements slowed down. The last cum drips slowly out of him and he stop to jerk off. You look down at you and see that the white substance was over your whole torso.

Jaehyun put his hand under your back, pulled you up and kissed you. He was very soft, gentle and your pulse went slowly down. He took a deep breath as he pulled himself away from your lips and rested his forehead on yours. “That…that was…” You didn’t have any words. You've never experienced anything like that, never had you ever felt anything like this. You feel like new born. Drunk of the different feelings you felt. It was like being someone else, but this experience was still so intense and overwhelming that it makes you believe you'll ever be able to feel that again. It was like being immortal, only better. “It was incredible.” He ends your sentence and release himself from you to get a tissue out of his pocket. He gently wiped his orgasm off you until you were clean again. You watched each of his movements carefully and enjoy his last touches. After he cleaned you up, he took your face again and looked deep into your eyes. “You are so beautiful.” You look up to him with big eyes and you ask yourself why you deserve this. But you also knew the reality. He was your teacher and you his student. It could not go on so naturally. “I think I can rely on that this adventure will not leave the room.” He also realise the reality and knew exactly what he was doing was not right. He bit into the apple and dealed with the devil. “Nobody will now." You whisper these words to him and you fall one last time in an infinite kiss.

It had been several months. You had graduated and would soon go to college. Time flew by and you spent the last summer with your family on the Cote d'Azure. In the last months of your school days, you didn’t talk much to Jaehyun. He didn’t avoid you, but your relationship was normal, as if your adventure hadn’t existed. But there was always a moment where your eyes met and it felt seconds like this one afternoon on your 18th birthday again. Nicolas was no longer an issue. After Jaehyun has shown you what desire and pleasure is, the only right thing to do with him was to break up. You could not deny that your life was better. But it would be even nicer if you could see Jaeyhun more often. Since this adventure with him, he has not gotten out of your head. The sex with him stucked like a tumour in your brain. And now you're standing in the West Side gallery waiting for your name to be called.

"And the first prize goes to Y/L/N!” You step on the stage, the people around you applauded and you try to recognize his face from the crowd. But you could not see him anywhere. Was he not here? You thanked everyone and receive your prize. It was a moment that filled you with happiness and you could hardly believe that you had won the contest. Many people approached and congratulated you, and you were able to build up an incredible amount of contacts.

After several conversations, you needed a short break and you went into a small side room of the gallery, where only a few pictures were exhibited. In the middle of the room was a white leather padded bench on which someone sat. You knew his silhouette immediately and with slow steps you walked towards to him and sit down. “Hey!” Jaehyun whisper and a wide grin spreads over his face. He looked incredible. His hair was perfect and he was wearing a tuxedo. He also wearing a bow tie around the neck and he looked overall just perfect. “Hey!” Your voice was also quiet. You had not seen Jaehyun for a long time. The summer holidays were there and you were away with your family. You had no contact, no touch since that time. “Congratulation. I knew you could do it.” He looked deep into your eyes, each of his single words were honest. You smile and stroke a strand of hair behind your ear. Your heart started to throb again and it felt like butterflies were spreading their wings in your stomach. "I would never have gotten this far without you." You leaning a little forward to him and look at him with your big eyes. He had to swallow, all of his desire was back. He would like to have you here naked again. Feel your breasts, kiss your soft lips. He had to take a deep breath, not to make another mistake again. But he wanted you, he desired you. “Y/N…I want to say that…” “Here you are. We searched everywhere for you.” Your parents came with quick steps into the room. Jaehyun immediately jumped up and you followed him. “Mum, Dad. This is Professor Jaehyun Jung. He suggested me for this competition. I owe him a lot.” You look at him intently and smile lovingly at him. His cheeks blushed and he lowered his head slightly ashamed. Your parents shake his hand gratefully, said a few words of thanks and turned back to you. “Come on, some important people want to know you.” Your parents pulled you almost violently out of the room. You turn back to Jaehyun and looked at him desperately. He followed you with his eyes until you were completely gone.

Now he was alone in the room again and his words could not be pronounced…

#nct #nct smut #jaehyun #jaehyun jung #jaehyun smut #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x you #nct x reader #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenario #nct 127 smut #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenario #jung jaehyun

[creativeashproductions]

Thanksgiving Brings New Dawns // Noah Centineo

Summary: Meeting someone at their worsts brings both pain and some positives. Meeting an actor who lost himself in his new world isn’t what you like but apparently the universe sees it as a necessity.

Characters: Noah Centineo x Reader, and Centineo Family

Words: 2.8k

Disclaimer: This is part of @thewackywriter‘s Fall Writing Challenge! I’m Canadian so our thanksgiving is in October but I thought I’ll get it earlier! I’m also very sorry for not posting fics because I had slammed into writer’s block but this challenge helped!

Warnings: Swearing, mention of drugs and alcohol, mention of illicit sex (no smut), angst (I mean it is expected from me) and a lot of fluff!

A/N: We are now taking requests for Noah Centineo and To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Do post our work anywhere else without our explicit approval

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If you had been told you would be married by twenty-one years old following a harsh breakup when you were just discovering boys you would have sighed longingly at the mere thought. What girl didn't want to be married young and have a handsome husband until you were in high school. The years of awkward puberty, changing voices and developing cliques from the moment you were at high school orientation.

In freshmen year you found your best friend who you would share secrets, makeup, and clothes with until somehow you both couldn't fit into the other's clothing. The joys of having different cup sizes and different shaped curves; that was okay because you shared the other things instead. Her name was Allison with gorgeous long dark hair and glittering brown eyes, well they were until she started eating on the bleachers with her boyfriend. The boyfriend that carefully and slowly separated Lis from her friends and family. Over the months you would try to speak, but Lis would walk away to her boyfriend's side with sadness etched into her form. The entirety of Sophomore year was spent with a new group of friends, and a boyfriend on the football team, a cliche of course, with big blue eyes and hair you swore was spun by angels.

He was your everything. Until one day he wasn't. Apparently, he needed tutoring for his English Lit class where you couldn't help him in as he took the AP class. It was Allison that found you staring in disgust in the tutoring center on her way to the bathroom. The same Allison that knew you needed her more than anything.

It was Allison who brought you to the police station to report that a teacher was having illicit relations with her student. The same Allison who protected you from your seething ex-boyfriend screaming profanity and threats on his way out to stalk the police station the teacher was awaiting bail. The teacher who was teaching him the Kamasutra's many sex positions as if it was one of the assigned books in class.

Allison would soon explain precisely why she closed off from everyone and you wouldn't take her to the police station instead. You swore off relationships together. That was it you believed.

Until you met him.

It was your favourite time of the year when the leaves started turning different colours just before they would start falling off the tree branches. God, you loved the fall and what it would bring each year with the pumpkin patches and candy on every shelf in the stores. It was also the most significant time to lay in the park on one of the last days that would be warm enough to avoid layers but not cold enough to need thick leggings and a sweater.

You were reading among the children running around the lush green grass with footballs, baseballs with gloves and a few frisbees. You were in the middle of some novel you had been recommended a while back when you were still finding yourself as a soon to be senior in high school. Brushing the threshold of adulthood. It was a book about finding yourself again in dark times as a memoir by Cheryl Strayed.

"Hey."

"Hi." You spoke without really thinking about it. Your eyes still glued to the words written in the battered book from the many times you had read it since you first picked up.

"What are you reading?"

"How to convince someone to leave them alone without murdering them." You spoke once more humming as you found your favourite sentence of the chapter.

"Who is it by?"

"A wonderful author named 'Screw Off'."

"I've heard of them." Dog-earing the page you looked up to see the shadow casting down on your blanket.

"Who are you?"

"Noah." He spoke sitting down on the edge of the blanket showcasing a pair of black jeans worn beyond belief with the skin of his knees showing through the frayed holes, you saw it wasn't bought worn either.

"You look like shit." You spoke when you finally looked up to see his face. There were bags under his eyes that looked as if they were permanent. You could smell the cigarette smoke on his clothes, and a stain you believed was some form of alcohol on his shirt.

"Thanks. Really awesome to hear a stranger say that." Noah snarked uncomfortably, "Can I just sit here? You seem cool."

"Are you hungover? It's Monday morning man." You spoke giving him your full attention.

"I'm avoiding the third degree from my sister." He sighed throwing himself down to look up at the sky, "She was blowing up my phone all night and until it went dead a few minutes ago. I love her, but she needs to back off."

"She's doing it because she loves you. Be happy about that. Be happy she cares enough to do something about it."

"What's your name?"

“Y/N" You merely spoke once more turning your attention to the clear blue sky.

"Well Yn you don't know the reasons behind my irritation." Noah snarked once more, "What are you reading?"

"A memoir of a woman that almost lost everything and decided to do something about it. She went on this great crazy adventure hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. She didn't have any guidance or experience, but she did-"

"She sounds stupid to go out without any training." Noah interrupted.

"She needed to do it to find herself."

"She could do that anywhere."

"Look man. Just because your life is shit doesn't make you an expert on how people should deal with their issues. How can you discover yourself in a society that has the internet at the simplest touch on their screens? She hiked because it gave her time to think without the disease of social media." You swiftly started gathering things up, "I don't know why you're drowning your demons in drugs, alcohol and partying in some typical teenage angst but honestly sounds like you need to find yourself."

"No, I-"

"Turn your phone off, talk with your sister and for god sake stop the self-medicating bullshit of drugs your 'friends' give you and the alcohol to numb the pain." You spat, "I don't understand people. You should find healthy alternatives. Gave a wonderful day you shitty person."

That was it. The toxicity of the 21st generation officially shattered your beliefs in humankind. Apparently, you were among the few handfuls of people that didn't judge and be terrible people in general. You wished you never met Noah even if you only interacted for a few minutes at most.

Noah stared after you quietly until you were a speck in the distant parking lot dragging a blanket and book in hand. It was then that Noah started the metamorphosis that would save him even if he wouldn't know for another few years. He began by buying "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed in the nearest bookstore. However, he would toss it in the back of his closet when his girlfriend Angeline texted about a party.

Two years later Noah would be trying to find his old iPod after his current one broke when he saw the sharp corner of something. Buried under clothing, near ancient scripts and unless items sat the book from two years back when he met that girl in the park who tore him a new one.

Despite the massive rager, his friend was throwing that included strippers, drugs, and a shit ton of alcohol of every kind something switched inside him. He forgot the iPod and sat down on the bed in his room to crack open the unread book. By the second chapter, he had texted his friends explaining he was done living the way he was before blocking the numbers and deleting the contacts. He took up healthy alternatives while finally opening up to his sister.tearfully.

September of that year you were picking up a few candles before you wandered over to the aisles of books you had always loved. You immediately went to the spiritual aisle where you perused the rows until a tan hand reached around you.

"This one is amazing." The hand gently removed a book as if it was an injured bird in dire need of help. You took the book from the person, "It's one of my favourites by far."

"'The Celestine Prophecy' by James Redfield ." You mumbled turning to face the person. There standing with a fresh complexion and calmness in his eyes was the boy from years before. The guy standing in front of you was the pessimistic asshole from the park.

"What the hell are you doing here?" You snapped.

"So you remember me." Noah spoke shoving his hands into his pants pockets, "I'm really sorry about that. I was a complete insensitive dick. I want to thank you though. Without you, I might be dead or on the cusp."

"How did I help you."

"You tore into me about self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. I ended up buying that book twenty minutes after you left the park. I didn't read it until I found it two months ago in the back of my closest. I swore off alcohol and partying." Noah quickly spoke as he blocked your path of escaping, "I'm completely sober now. I stopped smoking, drugs, alcohol and everything bad. I changed from relying on anxiety medication to working out routinely and doing yoga."

"You did?"

"In the four months I've been sober I've never felt so refreshed, awake and inspired." Noah grinned, "I have you to thank you for that. I'd think to take you out as a thank you."

You decided on the spot that Fall was definitely your favourite season, and Noah was the first person to crack your guarded heart. He was the first boy that awakened feelings you had felt since you first started dating your first boyfriend in high school.

By Thanksgiving, you were so in love with each other even if it seemed impossible in such a short amount of time. You spent as much time together as you could with his acting career and your school work and most nights you traded books on so many topics.

November was the official month Noah would blame the weather for the amount of cuddling he demanded. You didn't mind even when he tried to bribe you into coming to his family's Thanksgiving. He won.

By twenty-one you were engaged and married during October, you were adamant with your love of Fall and the season you got together with Noah. The first handful of months you were utterly wrapped in your love bubble surrounded by your animals in your house with your husband. You lived in blissed from the wedding until that fateful day you discovered you were pregnant.

Was it the most convenient time to be having a baby with Noah's exploding career? No, but when was it ever convenient to have a baby. You loved Dot from the pregnancy test you took.

Thanksgiving 2018

You hated your body while simultaneously adoring the bump you had grown over the months. The problem was trying to find clothing that flattered you was impossible. To the point, you stood in front of the full-length mirror in a bright orange cable knit sweater and maternity jeans.

"You look good in Orange.”  Your husband spoke from the entrance of the ensuite.

"I look like a pumpkin Noah." You huffed crossing your arms.

"Pumpkin is the best part of Thanksgiving! You know that." Noah exclaimed pulling you into his chest. He was completely over the moon feeling the firm bump on his abdomen.

"I'm allergic to pumpkin." You emotionlessly spoke staring at the tiny stain on his lazy day shirt. The blue one that brought more vibrancy to the colour in his eyes with the minimal holes in the material. The sweater that mysteriously would reappear in the wash every time you tried to throw it out.

"Okay, gloom and doom we have places to be," Noah spoke yanking his shirt off by the neck of it. Your eyes scanning his excellent form that never failed you arouse you, especially with the pregnancy hormones, to his amusement.

"You know you can't do that!" You whined stomping your foot.

"Sweetheart we really don't have time for-"

"You say, and we won't be leaving until I've had my fill of you." You warned him as he gripped your hand to sit you down on the chair in the foyer.

He kneeled in front of you with your boots, once that fit your swollen ankles, to carefully place them up for you while grabbing the backpack he had lovingly filled with everything he read a pregnancy may need. A pair of flats that were black, a couple of dressy slippers along with some personal hygiene wipes explicitly made for pregnancy to be safe for baby. A few pairs of underwear just in case along with natural lotion and scrunchies.

"I love you." You mumbled looking down at the man that had ruined you for anyone else. All he did was grin up at you with his hands settled on your baby bump to press a lingering kiss to your unborn child.

"God I love you both so much." Noah breathlessly spoke all the while resting his nose against your belly, "I'm going to raise you to know you don't have to be a boy to be a knight in shining armour to save someone. Your Momma was my knight, she saved me from myself when I didn't know I needed to be saved."

"We're going to be late." You choked out as your emotions got the best of you.

Noah helped you get settled in the passenger seat of the SUV he bought mere weeks after learning about your pregnancy. The baby's room had been set up for months now with the door closed permanently to keep the baby's existence a secret. There was something about surprising your family with a joining member that had you keeping your lips sealed.

You were really early at Noah's parents, you traded locations each year for holidays, where they were still out for a while. As you waited in the car, he grabbed the box holding the high chair to set it up at the long dining room table. By the time he finished, you were waddling to the front door intent on getting to the bathroom. You struggled the whole time before coming out to find your in-laws just coming through the entrance.

"Noah!" Kellee exclaimed rushing to pull him into her arms, "I missed you!"

"Mom! You're squeezing too tight." Noah spoke squirming in her arms, "We had lunch a few days ago!"

"Well sorry for missing you." She sighed pushing back, "I still can't believe you bought a house here!"

"Hey, son," Greg spoke pulling him into a quick hug.

"Hey, Dad. We have a question, do you think we have enough room for another person to join us?"

"I guess. We can make room." Your mother-in-law spoke already trying to plan it out, "When are they arriving?"

It was that moment your immediate family walked into the room just hearing the end of her sentence. It seemed no one had noticed the high chair just yet.

"They're here already," Noah spoke with a half smile. You came around the couch that had hidden your stomach just as Taylor's eyes settled on the paper resting against your bump, 'Mommy ate a pumpkin seed'.

"Oh my god."

"Are you?"

"Seven months. Noah thought it would be funny to wear orange and be a pumpkin to announce it."

"Congratulations!" Mom exclaimed yanking you into her arms tightly. She leaned back to gaze down, "How did you keep it from us?!"

"By keeping busy and strategically already sitting in any cafe and the weather is great for baggy sweaters of Noah's." You answered swiftly. They all blinked in shock before crowding closer to ask more questions on the pregnancy.

"When are you due?" Taylor asked sitting on the couch near you. Kellee and your mom barred you from the kitchen with Taylor moving between rooms. Noah was watching some sports game with the rest of the people.

"Mid January." You grinned, "Your brother is best. He had this bag packed of everything. He researched brands of baby clothing and sheets that are the best for baby's skin. The nursery is set up with a bassinet in our room for the first two or three months."

"You're good for him," Tay spoke with a small grin.

"He's good to us." You breathed staring at his glowing complexion. Without knowing the rest of the world believed he was perfect and fought tooth and nail to defend your little family against the haters.

With a gleaming smile, Noah looked over to you holding his phone in his hand as your own pinged in your pocket. Glaring on the screen was simple from Twitter.

@noahcent has mentioned you.

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#twwfall2018 #noah centineo imagines #noah centineo #thanksgiving au #fall au #agentsofsupernaturalmarvel #agentsofsupernaturalmarvel masterlist #caitsy and ash productions #angst #pregnancy #fluff

[hellimagines]

Proof of Caring--Billy Hargrove

Request: “Hi there! i was wondering at some point could you write a story with billy hargrove and the reader and in the story basically the girl reader likes billy but doesn’t like how he acts or presents himself so she plays hard to get but lowkey wants to fuck him but tries her hardest not to show it & one day billy and her end up hanging together (can be anyway u like, at a party or just whatever) and he ends up seducing and teasing her and she finally gives in. thanks so much! if not its fine!” & “Can you do a Billy Hargrove imagine where he changes for the reader in a good way and they have sex. It’s her first time and it’s smutty and fluffy?”

Summary: Billy wants to prove to you how much he cares about you, and how much he’s changed.

Warnings: cursing, oral sex

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,591

A/N: This isn’t full-on smut, and there’s not much plot.

“Hey, doll,” the familiar voice of Hawkins’ egotistical maniac rang out beside you. You had to suppress an eye roll as you peered around your locker door to give Billy an unamused look.

“Yes, Hargrove?” you questioned, not in the mood for his usual antics. It’d been a bad day. A very, very bad day. You’d been late to school because your dog had decided to run out the front door, and while chasing him, you had fallen and ruined your pants, while also scraping your knee. Not only that, but you walked in late to your Calculus test, and your teacher wasn’t going to allow you to makeup it up unless you stayed after class for an hour and a half, helping her tutor other students tomorrow. Then, you’d forgotten your lunch during the hassle of getting to school. Overall, you were pissed off and angry.

“What happened to your knee? It’s bloody,” Billy stated obviously, his eyes trained on the stained pant leg.

“Why do you give a shit?” you snapped, slamming your locker shut. Unfortunately, when you had whipped your head around to look at him, your hair got caught in the frame of the locker, getting trapped. You cried out in pain, instantly trying to tug your hair free.

“Hey, hey!” Billy called out, trying to get you to stop moving. “Give me the combo, you don’t wanna be walking around with a bald head, gorgeous,” he said sternly, grabbing your hand so you could no longer pull at your (h/c) hair.

“Then what? You break into it later?” you growled, trying to tug at it again, but Billy’s grip was too strong.

“No. Then I take you to the nurse, get you an ice pack and shit for your knee, and you go home,” Billy snapped just as harshly.

For the past month and a half, Billy had been trying his hardest to get you to notice him. Sadly, it had been the wrong attention. Anything he did, you found a way to make it seem horrible. When he brought his grade up in your shared Chemistry class, you accused him of cheating. When you saw him helping Max out at the arcade, you said it was just to ‘pick up chicks’ with the big-brother act. When he offered to drive you home in the rain, you told him he was just gonna force you into his house. But the truth was, Billy was trying his hardest to change. Not just for you, but for himself. He didn’t want a repeat of California. He didn’t want his dad to keep beating him because he couldn’t keep his anger in check. And he just wanted you to see how hard he was trying. But nothing was working, and he was so close to giving up. With everything.

As for you, you wanted nothing more than to believe that Billy Hargrove was changing. That the angry, psychotic teenager was being mellowed out. But you couldn’t, not yet. When Billy had first walked through Hawkins High School, you were captivated. Utterly starstruck. But then you noticed that so was everyone else. Which means if you were ever to get your chance with him, so would the entirety of the high school population, and you didn’t want to be added to a rotation. Then when Steve came to school looking like roadkill, and Billy’s hands bandaged, you told yourself it was never going to happen. But now? Now Billy’s changing. And whenever a good milestone makes its way into his life, he manages to tell you about it. Always you. You caught on quick that Billy was doing it for you, at least partially, and it made your heart swell. You wanted nothing more than to help him. But he needed to do it on his own if it was something that he truly wanted.

“Fuck, okay,” you hissed when you felt the roots of your hair beginning to strain, “13, 2, 43,” you told him. Billy put in the combo quickly, and once the door opened you fell forward. Billy’s arm shot out, keeping you from face-planting the tiled floor. Shutting your locker door, he helped balance you out before retracting his arm. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, of course,” Billy said, hiking his bag over his shoulder. “Now come on, let’s catch the nurse before she leaves for the football field,” Billy told you, putting his hand on the small of your back briefly and leading you to the nurse’s office.

You guys had managed to catch her just in time. She gave you a bag of ice for your head, and ointment, gauze and medical tape for your knee. The blood had longed dried since it all happened that morning, which meant the gash was most definitely infected, and a band-aid would only do more damage. The both of you thanked her and she left, heading to the football field.

“I can clean this on my own,” you informed Billy as he began ripping the packet of the gauze. Billy quirked his eyebrow, eyeing the ice bag on your head, being held on there by your hand.

“Yeah? You’re gonna do all of this one handed?” he questioned, leaning back against the sink, still holding the gauze pad, medical tape, and antibiotic ointment packet. You stared up at him from the medical bed, impatiently tapping your foot on the ground.

“Yes, yes I can. Now give me the damn shit, Hargrove,” you snapped, holding out your free hand. Billy shrugged, knowing it was going to be a disaster, yet handed you the supplies anyways.

You had to rip your pants even more in order to get to the wound. Since you had cleaned it when you got school, it wasn’t too horrible. Bringing the ointment packet to your mouth, you used your teeth to tear it open, gagging when some got on your tongue. You smeared the ointment on your knee, trying not to drop the packet, but groaned when you realized how sticky your hand was.

“Sure you don’t need help there, doll?” Billy snickered, eyeing your frustrated form. You looked up at him quickly and flung the empty packet his way, which he quickly dodged.

“I won’t be able to get the gauze on my knee with my pants on. And I can’t do it one handed,” you growled, keeping your eyes trained on your bloody knee. Billy’s teeth sank into his bottom lip.

“Okay,” he finally said, pushing himself off of the counter. You watched him as he walked over to the nurse’s door, closing it. Your eyes widened in shock while he walked back over to you, kneeling in front of you. “Let’s go, doll. We don’t have much time,” he informed you with a smirk.

You gave him an incredulous look before narrowing your eyes. Letting out a soft string of curse words, you pressed the ice bag to your head with more strength, and unbuttoned your jeans for him. Lifting your hips, Billy was able to pull them down, being careful of your injured knee. He brought the jeans down to your ankles, trying his hardest not to stare directly at your black panties. Billy evened out the ointment on your knee, making sure it covered the wound and the surrounding area. You hissed in pain when he touched the sensitive spot, nearly kicking him.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he apologized halfheartedly, trying to stay focused on the task at hand. Grabbing the gauze pad, he centered it over your knee before unraveling the medical tape and wrapping it around the padz.

Once Billy was certain that the gauze was in place, and wasn’t going to slip around, he looked up. His eyes landed on your own, which were staring down at him intently. You had wiped your fingers off with the wet ice bag, and you were now playing with your bottom lip to keep yourself busy. Billy’s thumb was absent-mindedly running up and down your calf while he looked at you.

“I uh… Thanks, I guess. For your help,” you said quietly, removing the ice bag from your head and placing it beside your thigh.

“Yeah, no problem, (Y/N). You feeling okay?” Billy questioned, noticing your red cheeks. They became even more red at his question, but you nodded.

“Yeah, just um, confused. Yeah, just confused,” you clarified, more for yourself than for him. Billy’s eyebrows furrowed while narrowing his eyes.

“Confused? And why’s that?” Billy asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His hands traveled from the back of your calves, to your thighs, resting there.

“You. You’ve changed, and I don’t know how I feel about it,” you told him, trying to ignore the hands on your thighs.

“I’m trying to be a better person. I’ve been trying for a while, but nobody seems to understand that,” Billy said, his voice cracking at the end. You stared down at him, your hands finally moving on top of his. But you didn’t move them away, instead you ran your finger tips of the ridges of his knuckles and veins.

“I understand. But you have to give me time to fully accept it. You need to prove to me, that this isn’t some act,” you said to him, reaching a hand out to push one of his curls behind his ear. Billy’s eyes widened. You were giving him a chance, you were actually willing to let him prove to you how much he cared now.

“Then let me prove it,” he whispered, bringing his face down to kiss the inner of your thigh. He only placed a small kiss there, not wanting to scare you off. “Please, (Y/N/N), let me show you that I’ve changed. That I’m trying to be better.”

When Billy’s lips touched your inner thigh, your breath hitched from their warmth. His thumbs were slowly dragging along your thigh, from the inside to the out, while he rested his chin on your left thigh. His blue eyes were looking up at you with hope, care, and adoration. There was no malice, lust, or anger in them. Not like there used to be.

“Promise you won’t leave after? That this isn’t a quick fuck, then you never talk to me again? I can’t handle that Billy… I’ve never… I’ve never had sex before, and I don’t want my first time to be horrible,” you told him, keeping your voice strong. Billy moved his hand to hold your own, and squeezed it.

“I promise, doll. Hell, we don’t even have to have sex. I just want to show you how much I care about you, how much I’ve always cared about you,” Billy sighed, kissing the inside of your wrist.  You moved your hand so you could caress the side of his face, slowly nodding your head.

“Okay,” you said softly, giving Billy a small smile. Billy smiled back at you, before bowing his head and kissing at your thighs.

Soft, feather-like kisses made their way up your inner thigh, right before your panty line. He stopped there, before trailing the kisses back down your thighs. Billy moved his hand so it could rest on your hip, hiking up your thin t-shirt, his other hand knocking the ice bag off the bed so he could lay his hand down. The hand that was on your hip, then began pulling the waistband of your underwear down, Billy briefly lifting his head so he could see what he was doing. You lifted your hips up, and just like he had with your jeans, he pulled your underwear down to your ankles. Billy went back to kissing your thighs, leaving the occasional bite or two, while his index finger traveled between your lips.

A staggered breath escaped your lips, your hips involuntarily bucking. Billy’s finger was freezing from moving the ice bag, but it felt amazing on your burning clit. He brought his middle finger in next, the two fingers running your juices from your opening, up to your clit.

“Lay down,” Billy suddenly said, gently pushing at your abdomen. You obeyed him, and laid down on the medical bed, as Billy gripped the back of your thighs, pulling you towards him. His spread your lips open, slowly licking a strip up to your clit. You whimpered quietly, reaching down to tangle your fingers in his hair. Billy smirked against your pussy, before pressing his tongue down harder, licking the sensitive nub. He was making obnoxious noises, making sure you knew how much he was enjoying this.

“Billy,” you gasped, your hand tightening in his curls. Billy had pressed his tongue directly on your clit, moving it side to side before pulling away. Then, bringing the tip of his tongue to gently flick at the very top of the nub, grinning each time your hips bucked. Once Billy felt you were wet enough, he pushed in one of his fingers, watching your expression. Your closed eyes fluttered open, your mouth opening in an ‘o’ shape. He moved the single finger around, kissing at your clit occasionally. After a couple minutes, Billy entered a second finger. Your pussy squeezed around his fingers, and Billy’s free hand gripped your hip tightly.

“This okay, gorgeous?” he asked, curling his two fingers. The only response he got was a moan, and your body pushing farther down onto his fingers. He grinned widely, starting to pump them in and out of you. Billy lowered his head again, going back to your clit. You cried out at the sensation, his fingers hitting that special spot inside you while his tongue flicked over your bundle of nerves.

“Fuck,” you whined, unable to help yourself from grinding into him. Billy pushed in a third finger at your eagerness, moaning to himself when you tugged on his hair.

“Damn, princess. You sound so beautiful right now,” Billy praised, briefly leaning over to nip at your thigh. Your body became warm at the comment, a soft sigh escaping.

“Billy, I’m gonna cum,” you warned, your knees hooking over his shoulders to bring him closer.

“Go on, baby,” Billy ordered, pushing his fingers deeper inside you and pumping them faster. He continued to lap at your cunt, moaning into it when your walls squeezed around his fingers. You cried out loudly, your hand barely coming up in time to muffle the loud sounds. You felt the heat at the bottom of your stomach release, while washing over your entire body simultaneously.

“Oh god, Billy!” you yelled, your thighs shaking on his shoulders. Billy didn’t let up his ministrations, waiting for your hips to stop their convulsing before he gently removed his fingers from you. You whimpered at the loss, moaning quietly as you watched him duck out from under your thighs. He reached out, helping to pull you into a sitting position.

“That enough proof, doll?” Billy gloated, sitting beside you while you pulled your underwear and pants up. You snickered, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, you could say that, Hargrove,” you smirked, turning to look at him. You swiped your thumb across the edge of his mouth, wiping away some of the wetness left behind. “Now, I believe I was promised a ride home?” you asked, keeping eye contact with him as you licked the cum off your finger.

“Think I promised you a lot more than that, baby,” Billy grinned, standing up and holding his hand out. You gladly took it, allowing him to pull you into a gentle kiss.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfic #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things smut #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic

[kpopfanficsforthesoul]

Divine- Nana (Im Jinah) After School- Part One

- PART ONE - PART TWO - 

Plot: You’ll never understand how people can turn on their friends so easily. Some will do anything for popularity, like giving up all their kindness, loyalty, and friends… you just never expected Nana to.

Pairing: Nana x Reader

Genre: Resolved Angst, High School! Au

Author’s note: I was really inspired by SNSD’s Divine MV. You know, the Japanese ver. where the girl gets betrayed by a trusted friend? It’s kind of like that, except without the drama club and the teacher affair. Enjoy!

……..

They’re way too fragile aren’t they, These feelings that sway ever so lightly, I’m looking for the answer that disappears at dawn.

……….

“Alright, who’s next?” You asked from your table, purple pen in hand. You barely glanced at the person as they slid their book in front of you. You flipped to the inside cover and began to write a short message. Halfway through your signature, you were interrupted by the hand placed next to yours. It was bedazzled with red nail polish and graced with several flashy rings.

“Hello old friend.” The girl said. You looked up and nearly fainted at that familiar red lipped smile.

“Nana?” You asked, wide eyed. All the moisture escaped from your throat. “Is that really you?”

The girl removed her Prada sunglasses. You got lost in those familiar bright shining eyes. You had missed the comfort of their gaze. “It feels as if it’s been forever.” She said.

You nodded before quietly responding. “I didn’t know you were in this town…”

“We’re on tour right now.” she told you. “Wanna meet for coffee after you’re done signing autographs?”

You stared at your table. “Sure.” you muttered. She gave you a hopeful gaze before taking her book and walking away from your table. You couldn’t help but look at her back as she did so. Even though different garments on her affected her appearance, you know the Nana that you once knew was still underneath. You recalled upon your memories of her, the carefree innocence of newfound friendship. You wished for everything to be as it once was.

Before…

…………..

This starlight that becomes my guide Hey, I want you to tell me where I should go.

No matter how far away, even if I’ll be crushed I’m waiting for God’s will, this is destiny.

……………

“Kimchi Jiggae? Again?” Your best friend scowled as she linked arms with you. You took notice of her sweet scent wafting towards her as she rushed up to you.

“Well, the school gives so much money to the athletics teams that we end up eating the same thing every day.” You told her. “New perfume?”

She nodded with a small smile. “When my mom becomes the principal of the school, we’ll eat like kings.”

“Well until that day comes, my dear, we’re stuck eating this slop.” You said with a scowl as another student walked by with a bowl of today’s school lunch.

A couple years ago, you were a new student at this school. Not shockingly to you, you were practically invisible to everyone. Well, except the queen bees of the school who targeted people like you everyday. So you remained in the shadows, in the back of the classes, thinking you were alone. Until you met a beautiful girl in that very place. Jinah wasn’t an outcast, just a loner. You never understood why, because she was so pretty you thought she was a doll when you first met her. However, you quickly formed a bond, and soon became each other’s only friends.

You both sat down at your designated table in the back of the cafeteria, Jinah lending you one of her earbuds as you both picked through your lunches. It was quiet silences like this that you appreciated most, where you could just sit close to her and enjoy her company. Jinah was pretty much the first person to show you kindness and friendship in your life.

“You wanna come over to my house to study tonight?” She asked, pausing the music.

You set down your unused spoon and nodded. You both used “studying” as a code word to allow your parents to let you hang out so much. Neither of you cared about academics so much. You were more into writing and drawing on your own time, and she was more concerned with dancing and singing. Your mutual love of creativity is really what made you two such good friends.

…………….

So to speak, this small me is powerless against the raging waves that give their loud roars, but the sea will surely part and make a path for me.

……………..

Jinah’s long chestnut colored hair flew behind her as she thrusted into action with her routine. Moving her body with strategic and graceful bends of the arms and pairing them perfectly with her footsteps, all in perfect tune with the rhythm.

You nodded your head to the music from your place on the bed as you watched her. You couldn’t help but tap your feet. The song she arranged was a catchy tune.

You clapped your hands as she finished. “You’ve really improved since you started putting this together!”

“Really?” She asked. You never understood why she was so surprised to receive compliments. “Do you think it’s good enough for my audition?”

You rolled your eyes. “Unni, you’ve prepared for this your whole life. If Pledis doesn’t see your talent, they must be sight impaired.”

She smiled. “Aw, thanks Y/N!” She squeezed your shoulders in a quick hug. Jinah had wrote her own song, arranged it, and choreographed it for her audition tape. All she had ever wanted to be was an be idol. And by God, she would do all she could to prove her talent.

She sat down on the bed with you, throwing the pink comforter over the both of you. She grabbed her remote, turning on the TV. You had always loved her room. The pastel aesthetic, the sweet smell of her everywhere, the white floors…

You both sat together and began watching your new favorite drama, You’re Beautiful.

Atop the ground that grew cold, I’m going to walk barefooted, And your warmth will support me. You’re always by my side. I was born alone and yet. It’s as if I was bound to meet you. You know me more than anyone else does.

Jinah took a sip from her juice box, then pointed to the character on the screen. The idol character UEE was currently at a movie premiere. “I’m gonna be like her someday. A singer, a performer, an actress… you know she’s an artist at Pledis, right?”

You nodded, then looked at the floor as soon as her attention was back to the screen. You couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Jinah really did make it into that company. She was all you had… but if she left you…

You were about to bring it up, but as you looked over at her, your heart sank. She was smiling, looking bright eyed at the screen as the idols in the drama started performing. Her eyes lit up at the thought of herself being in the same company as Sho-ee, or whatever the actress’s name was.

You couldn’t stand being a restriction to her. After all she had given you, you thought she deserved all the happiness in the world.

“Is something wrong Y/N?” She asked you, looking concerned.

You snapped back to reality. “Nah, I’m just tired. I should get going soon.”

“Alright, but you have to finish this episode with me!” She squealed. Your heart stopped as she rested her head against your shoulder. “It won’t be the same if you leave.”

You closed your eyes in frustration. Not at her, but the way she made you feel. To finally have a friend, someone in the world to care if you died without being obligated to, was the most comforting thing in the world. And… somewhere along the way, you came to love everything about Im Jinah. Her bright eyes, her comforting smile, her determination…

But you could never tell her that. Not only would it jeopordize your friendship, but her focus in life was to become an idol. You couldn’t help  but feel as if your friendship was like a train ride, and that you were just riding along for a temporary amount of time, that you would hop off the train as soon as it started going too fast.

As Jinah sighed at the beautiful Lee Hongki, you couldn’t imagine a life without her.

We can be divine…

……………

I was supposed to be scared of nothing And yet hey, I don’t want to lose you.

……………..

“Y/N!!!” A voice cheered. You look behind your shoulder, clutching your school bag. Jinah was running up to you, a huge smile on her face, chestnut hair blowing back in the wind. She engulfed you in a hug as soon as she reached you.

“What is it, Jinah?” you giggled, putting your arms around her.

She stepped back a bit, and waved a paper in front of your face. “Pledis accepted me!”

You squealed with her. Finally, her dream had become a reality. All she had worked for was paying off. “That’s amazing! Did they say what you’ll be doing?”

She let out a deep breath before saying to you: “They want me and two other girls to join Afterschool!”

You grabbed her into a hug. She was practically crying tears of joy. Everyone walked past you guys, giving disaproving side eyes.

“Quiet down, freaks!” Minah, the school’s queen bee scowled as she walked past you.

You rolled your eyes, quickly forgetting about the snide remark. Your mind went back to your friend. So it was actually happening. Everything will be okay. Jinah will still make time for me. We’ve been through too much.

You had to tell yourself this. You HAD to keep hope. You had to trust her.

I love you Im Jinah. Don’t leave me.

…………..

Until the day comes when the light shines Through the gaps in the clouds, I won’t say goodbye.

………….

“Yep, that’s her!”

“I can’t believe she went to school with us this whole time!”

“How did we not notice how pretty she is?”

“Or how talented?”

“I should become her friend…”

The things you heard this morning when you walked into the school yard echoed through your head. This was exactly what you had feared. A huge crowd was gathered around a bulletin board by the building. After pushing your way to the front, you saw it. A poster of three girls, wearing colorful outfits and expertly applied makeup. “Three new members added to popular girl group ‘After School!’” said the title. “Raina, Lizzy, and Nana!” Your heart stopped as you realized that the flawless face in the middle belonged to your best friend. She had never even told you about a photo shoot…

“Why are they calling her Nana?” you asked yourself.

You whipped out your phone to call her. After a few rings

“Hello?”

“Jinah, everyone knows! You have to-”

You were interrupted by a loud screaming crowd. As you looked over your shoulder, you saw all of them crowding around something. Jinah stepped out of the middle of them, smiling. You watched her hang up on your call, answering everyone’s questions and giving them autographs.

So this is what she wanted. She could finally live this way. You swallowed hard at the realization.

…………..

When various paths open up to me, I’ll surely remember this wish, The journey we both walked together.

…………….

“Ready for lunch?” You asked her as she emerged from the lunch line, waving goodbye to three underclassmen who wanted to befriend her. Gosh, these people never left her alone.

“Yeah, but I was hoping we could sit with someone else today.” She said with smile.

“Who?” You asked, worriedly. Nana may have become popular with the other students these last few days, but you still remained invisible. She was still the only person in the whole school who you knew and loved.

“Well… Minah.” She responded.

“Jinah, have you lost your mind?” You shrieked. “Minah and her squad have spewed nothing but insulting comments at every innocent girl who walks within five feet of them! Are you trying to befriend her?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not a big deal Y/N. Her uncle works for Pledis, so I think it could be a nice relationship. I just don’t want her to put in any bad words about me. So, when she invited me to sit with her, I couldn’t say no.”

You shook your head, about to tell her all the reasons not to, but then something stopped you.

“Please… for me?” She asked you with a sincere gaze. Dang her and those comforting eyes.

“Fine.” you said sternly. Nana smiled and led you over to the shiny round table in the center of the cafeteria. She greeted the girls, then sat down in one of the seats. You were about to sit in the seat next to her, until one of the other girls put her Kate Spade right where you were about to sit.

“Sorry, but we only invited Nana to sit with us.” Minah said at the head of the table with a glare at you.

You looked over at your friend with a laugh. “Good luck keeping Jinah then…”

But she didn’t budge. She just sat there nervously. She finally looked up at you with pleading eyes.

Your smile dropped as you stared at her in shock. “Jinah… lets go…”

She shook her head. “I wanna sit with Minah…”

“You don’t sound so sure about that.” You told her.

Minah snapped her hand. “Are you really surprised?” All the girls at the table laughed with her, except Jinah, who looked nervous. “Yah, wake up, zero. Nana is an idol now. She’s got new people. So don’t be shocked when she’d rather hang out with higher class people like herself.”

You looked over at your friend. “Is this who you are now? You’re just Nana? What happened to my friend Jinah?”

“Y/N please, don’t be stupid…” she pleaded.

“No. I’m not doing this anymore.” You told her with a cold stare. “If you’re going to choose these jerks over me. The girls that used to bully us and call us names- then you’re the stupid one.”

Nana stared at the table. She swallowed, then said quietly. “Get away from this table Y/N.”

It hurt you. It hurt that you were in love with her and she was willing to give you up. For popularity. You could live with her being an idol. You could live with not seeing her as much. You could live with people bombarding her with friendly gestures. But this- no.

“Get away from my life, Nana.” you said coldly. And you left, not letting your tears spill until you reached the bathroom.

……………..

We’ll make that our proof, forever We are always one.

……………….

It had been weeks since you spoke to Jinah. Going to her house after school was now unheard of. During school hours she was with Minah’s queen bee squad and after school hours she was with her group mates from After School. You knew this from all the times you saw her on television doing interviews.

“The girls in this group are the only girls I’ve ever met to show me true friendship.” You watched her say with a smile.

After that, you’d turn off the TV and go right back to the way things used to be. Going to school to lurk in the shadows. To sit in the backs of the class. Alone. Only this time… no one was there with a comforting support.

You needed Jinah. But she didn’t need you. You loved her. But she didn’t love you.

‘Nana’ had quickly become the it girl of the school. She wore makeup, pretty clothes, and strutted through the hallways like some model on a Paris Runway. You felt like crying everytime you saw her.

In the hallway after your science class, someone caught your attention. “Yah, Y/N, you dropped your book!” You turned around to see Minah with her entourage. Nana stood next to her. All the girls had snide smirks on their faces, except for Nana. She looked like she was about to throw up.

You looked down. A book was lying on the floor.

“That’s funny, I don’t remember dropping it…” you walked towards it to get it. However, once you grabbed it, it yanked forward on a string, with you clutching onto it. You landed face first on the floor. Laughing erupted from the crowd of classmates surrounding you. Humiliated by a pathetic prank, you began to stand up.

“Now, everyone!” Minah declared, hands on hips, with an evil grin plastered on her face.

You saw a tear fall down Nana’s face, and then it hit you in the back of the head. Slime ran down your neck. You looked at the white shell at your feet. An egg.

More and more came, and just when you thought you were covered, Minah declared, “More eggs! Throw more at her!”

You stood there, staring at Jinah. She stepped forward to approach you, but two girls grabbed her arms and held her back. She swallowed, then relaxed. She gave up, and stared at the floor.

It was official. You had lost your best friend. She wasn’t going to be your support anymore. No longer would the comforting warmth of friendship radiate through your body. Never again would you cuddle up to her to watch kdramas and enjoy her company. The only time you’d see her would be on stage or in a crowd of popular girls at the mall. She had given up on you. She wasn’t going to help you. She wasn’t going to stand up for you. She was going to sit there on the side of the people throwing eggs at you.

“Next time think twice before you call our Nana stupid!” Minah sneered.

You couldn’t take anymore. You pushed through the crowd, running away as some still fired eggs at you. You burst through the school doors, not caring that you were leaving in the middle of a school day. You ran as fast as you could to your house. You never wanted to go to that building again.

…………….

Once we stand before the roaring waves What will we say we’re capable of? We’ll meet this distress With a gentle intimacy (Wow) I believe that we can be divine

……………..

You ran upstairs to your room and flopped down on your bed. Your tears washed all the egg off of your face. You looked over at your cork board with pictures on it. In the center was a picture of you and Jinah at the park together. You held the camera as she put her arm around you. Sobbing, you walked up to it and took it off the board to look at it. You remembered her. How she used to be. Her face was pretty without being overdone. She was warm and kind. She was humble and loyal.

It was then that you realized: Im Jinah was still your best friend. You still loved Im Jinah. Im Jinah was kind and warm. You knew everything about Im Jinah. But this new girl, this girl who joined in on torturing others, this girl who glued on false eyelashes and wouldn’t leave home without makeup, this girl who wore dresses and heels to school… why, you didn’t know her.

You ripped the picture down the middle and threw it away.

I don’t know Nana. You said to yourself.

How could this happen- why did you have to lose the only person you had? You felt unstable without her. You didn’t want to be alone. You wiped a tear from your cheek before breaking out into sobs.

I miss you Im Jinah. Please come back!

We can be divine.

Author’s Note: There will be a second part to this. Sorry it’s so long! This idea just suddely popped in my head. :p Anyway, hope you enjoyed!

-Marie 💗

[Masterlist]

#after school #nana #im jinah #nana after school #nana scenarios #after school scenarios #after school reactions #kpop scenarios

[readfelice-blog]

moominland chronicles 06 my trip to ableton

Just quickly before i begin, ableton make software and hardware you use to make music

https://www.ableton.com

BCR / berlin community radio is a forward thinking and diverse online radio station

http://www.berlincommunityradio.com/about

It’s Friday night, though it’ll be Sunday when you read this post, I’m lying in bed in my pjs, its nearly 21h and I imagine a lot of the sexy young things that swell the streets of Berlin are out at the lake or alternately gearing up for Griessmuehle or Berghain later. Not me though, once it gets dark hopefully I’ll be able to fall asleep, I could of slept at 15h today but there’s a demanding heatwave lashing the city which expects attention, so I’ve just been wandering around my little yellow house eating and fiddling with a track I’m working on.

All my songs are about the moon these days.

There is zero,null, none, void romantic or sexual intrigues in my life in this moment: No booze, no sex, no men, now vegan, just 3 steps away from enlightenment perhaps. It sounds dreadfully unexciting but conversely I’m finding it to be rapturously liberating, I have an enormous girth of time to focus and recalibrate, to add the padding of my own space back in to my life and shine a light on all the things which fulfil me and aren’t centred around whether he will call or text or Facebook message me, what he’s doing right now, or how many other girl’s he doing it to (5? 10? 15?).

What does a young woman in a cosmopolitan city write about if it’s not boys and sex?

She writes about what she likes, that’s what she writes about…..

I went to a workshop put on by Ableton and Berlin Community Radio on Wednesday, I was racked with nerves during the lead up to the proceedings, envisioning getting in there and them sussing me as a fraud straight away.

It would play out like this:

“ You don’t make music! You don’t even know what a hi hat is! GET OUT CHARLATAN”

I am forcibly removed by a stocky man in sunglasses, Courtney Love is standing at a window above the courtyard I’m thrown onto, she looks down and shakes her head, then she fades into the dusk of the room behind her. And I just huff and puff, all fours on the concrete, a wheezing in my lungs and kick myself mentally for pretending I could pretend.

CHARLATAN.

And the gates to music are firmly shut for the rest of my pained life.

It wasn’t like that, surprise.

It was built as an inclusive space for women and non binary people working in music production, specifically on ableton, it was never going to be like that.

I walked from my little yellow house because it wasn’t very far and a lovely walk through the gentrified streets of Prenzlauer Berg and into Mitte past my favourite organic shop and lots of al fresco cafes where gorgeous shiny people were spread across tables, swilling expensive drinks and smiling beatifically at each other

I like getting stolen looks from men on those streets, it makes me feel special.

At first I walked past the entrance of Ableton and trundled about glued to maps trying to work out where my little blue dot was supposed to go, (the arrow frequently points the wrong way, I’m like a lemming with no semblance of orientation), it took me a hot minute to get my bearings: 

‘Go through an archway nestled casually between buildings, through the first courtyard and into the next.

You have reached your destination. Congratulations, goodbye.’

There wasn’t much outside seating aside from one modest wooden bench, so I perched on a wall and had a cigarette before going in, I still smoke, I’m not totally organic yet. The day was thick with heat, so hiding from the sun was a legitimate pastime, I chased some shade, inhaled and exhaled and then headed to the front door, which I approached in conjunction with a slender young brunette, clearly another member of my party.

We rang the bell, introduced ourselves, got confused at the first floor due to lack of any clear signage for reception and fooled by the meagre interior of the hallway. But the thick weighted door gave way to a carnivorous airy room with bare brick walls divided by screens, there was a reception, and plush waiting area, a kitchen and then ubiquitous tables that looked multi dimensional in purpose.

Me and the brunette sat down amongst the other girls, the receptionist (office manager?) was a bit fractious because most of us were early and her assistant was directed to make us drinks which were uniformly accepted. We were 4, then 6, then about 10 of us, which is when I gauged that I’d been selected and it was a privilege to be at this workshop.

“GET OUT, c h a r l a ta n.”

The majority of our trope were casual, dressed in the obligatory heat swayed sleeveless top, au natural or barely any makeup. All engaged in the awkward pre event chit chat, where do you come from, how long have you lived in Berlin, what are you doing here. My internal voice tends to become splattered in these scenarios, so I struggled to make nice but everyone seemed kind and curious. Despite being uniformly downtempo, we were quite the motley crew assembled, jazz singers, pop princesses, understated producers.

A woman appeared among us and quietly slotted into the circle, she seemed to be a student but then in a very uncanny way introduced herself as one of the BCR crew and shortly thereafter we were led through the door into another scant corridor and then in to our place of study where neat square desks with a Dell pc and ableton push were arranged in a very orderly fashion. The focal point of our gaze was directed to our teacher Chagall, who was sporting an exotic dress with a curving tropical print, curly long pale blonde hair brushed against the green of the leaves. My fear of being spotted as an interloper was sliding off me like grease in the heat and, with a screen in front of me, I started to relax into the swing of things.

Chagall was nervous to, in an approachable and personal sort of way, it opened up the room and she got us to introduce ourselves,

“I am/ was a visual artist (disclaimer).”

Then she set about presenting herself. She was a creature totally in her element in music who had been doing it her entire adult life and seemed like a woman unrestricted by her gender, overcoming technological quandaries by interrogating them herself and not deferring to a man in her life to fix them. She presented a project she had been working on as her day job to us and we watched, mouths agape, as she seemed to give music a physical prescence, distorting and extending her voice with her body, it was something quite beautiful, to see this unfold first hand.

It indicated a utopian vision of the future where creating music would be accessible and intuitive to a increasing volume of the populous.

Then we got to the crux of the lesson, she wanted us to make an instrument with our voices.

“How do you make an instrument with your voice on ableton?”

Perplexed and again worried I’d out myself as a total dope, I tried to work it through by myself. First off during the cigarette break where I encountered ableton’s detailed instructions on how to use a toilet brush in my white stall, then when back at my computer having gulped down a little bottle of sparkling water. I recorded myself rather indiscreetly at my station on my phone and played around with audio effects I hadn’t considered before, but this wasn’t an instrument, I poked the midi tracks in a ham fisted way, pushed buttons on the push, at the best of times I’m conspicuous but when I’m confused I pulsate and send out waves, I caught Chagalls eyes accidentally a few times and embarrassed went back to my silent blustering.

But with grace she manifested (almost like I dream of genie) by my side and asked if I needed help: Thank goodness. If she hadn’t I was one step away from googling how to make an instrument on ableton, and really what would have been the point of going to the workshop at all then? Chagall sensually guided my hand across the interface of ableton, her aura mirroring an ebbing waveform, gently brushing over my total ignorance of Midi.

Midi is a thing I can use it turns out, I can sample my voice and make instruments out of it, most of you don’t care or understand probably, but for me it has opened up a world of new possibilities. Once upon a time I sat at my laptop and marvelled at the mystics that could make a song longer than 3 minutes. But as if I’m being let in on a universally sacred secret, it makes sense, and like all things it’s about understanding and then customising the process.

The first part is getting the raw material down, the second part, the bulk of the work, is in the details, akin to me me writing this blog on a Friday night and then editing and ignoring it throughout the weekend to post on Sunday.

Afterwards we were asked to volunteer to share and a handful of the group took the aux cable and presented what they’d done, the most accomplished and quietly confident girl in the room played a stimulating rich bodied ambient stroll that was met with starstruck applause. One of the most gripping pieces of sonic material came from the girl behind me, who had created a short looping clip that was addictive in its playfulness and bubbled away, panning gently in a manner that coalesced the spirit. She was one of the trained jazz singers and it was clear this had opened a new door to her also.

It was the end before it really began, but then I could of stayed in that room for months. We packed away our things and wound up the session, I was still nervous but the staff and participants were so friendly and lacking in artifice, my anxiety was disarmed. I ended up standing with a young woman from the team in an oversized t-shirt dress, who was Russian and had her own ex husband.

I felt safe there, the second time in Berlin that I’ve felt really safe amongst relative strangers in an engineered environment, the second in my life in this context (the first was at room 4 resistance at about blank afew weeks ago).

I exited the building with a kind of full spirit calm floating over me, breezing down the streets of Prenzlauer Berg teeming with how best to direct this new energy and play with the tricks I’d been introduced to. Excited, very very excited. When a creative thing grows and you’re given new skills to hone, its like you’ve been endowed with magical powers (WITCH!) that can unlock parts of your soul. I count myself as one of the army of undiagnosed asperger's sufferers that work in the creative field, so any new method of communication that does not entail actually talking is a welcome part of my social artillery.

Unwrapping music is becoming a passion which I slighted in my teenage years.

When I was 15 I wanted to be a rockstar, but my mum having borne witness to the countless instruments encountered and discarded throughout my childhood, told me to focus on one thing at a time and I went to art school. My sister was the opera singer and the writer, I was the painter and visuals girl.

Now I’m 31 I’ve been making art for over half my life and I haven’t ever really felt comfortable with the idea of being utterly immersed in the art world, at least not in London, there was always an element of distrust and tainted, unmerited arrogance that had to be accepted implicitly in order to function. I’m not naive enough to think that the music scene is any different to this, at least in certain areas, but I have barely come into contact with that yet. All I’ve met thus far is interested people who want to collaborate or to include me in things: with my small contribution I’m receiving more interest than I did in 16 years, after my art education, after countless uploads onto a myriad of social media and having had about 6/7 studio’s.

And what I’m finding particularly positive about this new adventure, as I progressively learn the tools I’m using, the hardware, the software, the instrument inside me, is that this fixation I’ve had with male musicians for my entire life, is starting to fade away, as I become more competent and able, the mystery of their creative gifts to the world unravels and I start to see these men as human.

After having very recently gone through a fixation with a certain producer, who was so significant in terms of my public breakdown, I can say with curving upward lips that he now just seems like a man, not a divinity, like the man he always was, I don’t really think about him anymore.

It makes me wonder about groupies, about these women that fervently followed men in the 60’s and 70’s, in the now tee’s, who actually, maybe, were themselves talented musicians but because of a fear to step on to stage and take ownership of the medium they loved so much, they instead projected this on to (male) individuals that they identified with.

Marianne Faithful anyone?

I was once all the parts of a groupie except being present to the people I ardently adored, now I’m getting closer to being a peer..

So I think I’m still an artist, I mean, I’m doing all the visual stuff to, in my spare time now, but my concentrated outpouring has become devoted to fades and audio effects and working out how to record my voice without feedback, and heavy breathing, and singing in the shower. And fantasising about good monitors.

And coming to terms with the material aspect of music, or rather, its lack of fixed form, its transcendent invisible nature which permeates our lives everyday.

And how to deconstruct a song.

And how to write a song.

And how to make sheet music that isn’t notated, my own variety.

And and and. You get the picture.

 To quote Kate Hudson // Penny Lane in Almost Famous:

“It’s all happening.”

#ableton #berlin community radio #chagall #bcr #female producer