#i hate being like this

[theephemeralbones]

No matter how much you apologize, it doesn't matter anymore, dear.

Only wrath by the internal fiends.

#girlblogging #this is a girlblog #aesthetic #grunge #alternative #dark #goth #gothic #wrath #blue aesthetic #blue #female rage #femalerage #feminine rage #writers #writers on tumblr #quotes #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #i hate being like this #occult #alone with my thoughts #thoughts #tumblr

[important-question-anon]

Me getting impulsive thoughts to delete my account but I have 14 people that I don't want to scam out of a design so I must push through

#anon-sense #exhaustion hits like a bitch #im not destined to be a popular creator #not with my low social battery and horrible communication skills #the fantasy is nice #but the reality of it is just...daunting. exhausting. #don't get me wrong #i love that i can make people happy and that people actually like me #but i feel so tired...all the time nowadays #i can barely talk to my close friends because if how socially burnt out i am #i hate being like this #i feel like a horrible person because I can barely keep in touch #ew okay sorry for the vent back to our regularly scheduled programming

[thatfailedpokemontrainer]

When you've been awake too long and suddenly you'll never be a man because you cry too much

#tw dysphoria #I hate being like this #sprite :> #pkmn irl #pokeblogging #rotumblr #pokemon #pokemon irl #rotomblr #pkmn

[nerdgirlnarrates]

med school has lowkey broken me, my friend asked me a question about football yesterday and I got too nervous to answer even though I knew it

#like I immediately started doing my nervous fidgeting with my hands #it is not subtle #and then I said “I can't answer when I'm on the spot” #and then I tried to answer and trailed off and said “I don't know” halfway through #even though I was actually right #it's a little pathetic #but I am so goddamn nervous about getting asked any questions ever #like oh god they're gonna find out I'm stupid #and I did not use to be this way #I hate being like this #I should be able to answer a question MY FRIEND asks me without freaking out #but it's gonna take a while to stop having this reaction #this is one of the things I hate about med school #like people will defend the harsh treatment of students as necessary #but I was so much more functional before this #way more capable #the anxiety this has given me has made it way harder to get things done #or apparently just exist in social settings #well this will be another story for therapy #medblr #med school #medicine #med student #my content #my text posts

[huneyism]

person: “i like you and i like talking to you. “

me: “god they probably hate me. what if they pity me? what if they talk to me because they’re bored and have nothing else to do?”

#i hate being like this #no wonder i can’t fucking date i can’t trust anyone

[mightymizora]

God I am literally in my thirties and still sometimes the way my brain works is a complete mystery to me

#something broke and it’s just done now #I don’t know if it will come back or if that’s it #I hate being like this #I just want to be a consistent person!

[doors-worstenemy]

>wake up to gum gum's wake-a-by

>turn on the stinky dragon podcast

>rot rot rot

>turn on the stinky dragon soundtrack

>go to bed

#i do the same thing #every fucking day #i hate being like this

[bl00dylavender]

sometimes.

most of the time i’m okay when i’m around you. most of the time i’m me and i’m myself. most of the time we are just two friends laughing together. but there are sometimes. sometimes my dysphoria takes over. and i become a different person. and it makes me hate you. it makes me hate your voice and your muscles and your jokes and your laugh and everything else in between. it makes me angry. it makes me feel robbed. because that should be me. that should be me. i should have the flat chest and the deep voice and the boyish charm and the strong muscles. i should be roughhousing with our other roommates. i should be making sex jokes at you all too. but instead it isn’t. and instead i’m me. sometimes i get enraged. and i want to scream and cry. i want to throw myself at the cold hard ground until i look bloodied and beat up and you can’t tell if it’s a boy or a girl you’re looking at. i want to rip the guitar out of your hands and smash it over your head. i want to punch you and scream and yell because you have everything i want. and it isn’t fair. and when these sometimes happen, i feel so guilty afterwards that i can barely look you in the eye. it isn’t your fault. it’s not your fault i was born wrong. but during these sometimes it sure does feel like it.

#trans vent #tw vent #this one is specifically about my one cisman roommate #he brought back his guitar after his trip home and he’s been playing it and it makes me so sad and so mad #because i used to play guitar and i feel like a failure and my dysphoria makes it 100 times worse #is this poetry? #poetry maybe #trans poem #tw dysphoria #dysphoria vent #dysphoria poem #sighhhhh #dysphoria makes me feel silly #i hate being like this #trans #trans ftm #trans ftm vent

[neonnoir-ao3]

When the disability is actually disabling and I say to another person that we had the exact same concept for something and despite making sure I came across as “omg great minds think alike, high five! :)” as I possibly could, I still think I made a social blunder and that they think I’m an absolute asshole.

So now I’m going to sit in silence for a few days and Think About What I’ve Done. Toodles

#also I’m blabbing too much in the Showtime tags so I think shutting up for a while might be beneficial to all parties involved in this blog #I’d give just about anything to wake up as a kid and redo my life without autism #i hate being like this #anyway Alexa play Sweet Hibiscus Tea

[bpdohwhatajoy]

I’m the most socially regressed I’ve been in my life. Irl conversations have always been difficult, but now I struggle to even text people. I’ve never struggled with it before this much. Now it freaks me out and stresses me out

#autism #actually autistic #ryan.txt #so fun😐 #wtf #I hate being like this

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

y'all I forgot to take my nighttime meds last night, so I woke up super anxious this morning, so bad that I'm shaking. hopefully my morning meds kick in soon and I'll feel better

#i hate being like this

[s0urte3th]

i know

#but it feels like you should #i hate having these thiughts #i hate being like this #i wish i cojld be normal for you #because no one wants to deal with a mentally ill freak

[theyluvkarolina]

smallish vent

————

when life starts to be too similar to ‘prom dress’ and ‘suffice’ by mxmtoon

#☆ﾟ user ↳ theyluvkarolina ◝ #i hate life rn #i hate everything #i hate school #i hate my body #why dont you love me #why do boys #i hate love #i hate being like this #prom dress from mxmtoon is getting to relatable #i just want to be loved

[sleepysuccubi]

i’m fucking YEARNING yall

#ugh #I hate being like this #like I don’t need anyone #but why does my soul tell me I need someone #I need to chill

[that-vampire-loser]

How in The Bell Jar, Esther could no longer write due to a major depressive episode <<<<<

#I’m thinking about reading it again #I’m sorta going through the same thing rn #I can’t bring myself to do much of anything #it’s whatever #depression #depressing shit #writing #writers block #writeblr #bpd #I hate being like this #I feel so unproductive #so much so that I cleaned the whole house the other day just to feel something #but I open my laptop and it’s like I just can’t #anyway sorry for being depressing

[catboyrichardkarinsky]

the neurodivergent moment when a 1 minute interaction is to be expected sometime during the day so now you can't do literally anything until then because you're only able to focus on one task at a time

#i hate being like this #my fucking dad should get his ass over here for my gym clothes or else