#i hate being sad it’s gross

[biblionerd07]

I think Betty is Daniel’s best friend but Daniel is not Betty’s best friend, you know? And she tries to hide that from him because she knows he thinks he’s nevvvver anyone’s first choice in things that matter but of course he realizes Christina is her best friend (and probably Hilda too but that one doesn’t hurt as badly because hello sisters first) and Betty’s soooo relieved when they start dating because anytime he’s like “:( I’m not your best friend :(“ she can be like “no but you’re my boyfriend!!! a category JUST for you!!!” And then they’re both happy.

#ugly Betty #Daniel Meade #betty suarez #Daniel/Betty #I think Daniel’s never REALLY had a best friend in the sense of a friend he can actually talk to about real things and feelings #and get support #bc honestly becks is not that lmao #I actually hate that becks disappeared without a trace #I liked their friendship even if Becks was staying gross while Daniel was growing #and Daniel could’ve used more friends outside of mode especially after Molly #anyway he kind of imprints on Betty like a baby duck #to steal Amanda’s metaphor #and you know he’d be so sad about it and like sigh deeply and wistfully about it #very dramatically mourning the fact but act like he’s being so brave about it

[soupkiddo]

tried to put myself in the headspace of a transphobe and got pissed off cus it's so fucking stupid

#genuinely i have no fucking idea how people get so up their own ass about other peoples business #you dont like it? it makes you uncomfortable? tough shit buddy thats life #i see dogshit on the sidewalk and it makes me feel gross. but im not going to make hating dogshit my entire personality #im not gonna fucking ban dogs because i dont want to look at dogshit #im not gonna follow people home when they dont clean up after their dogs #ill get pissed about it in the moment sure. i wish people would clean up after their dogs. but its not going to consume the rest of my day #being uncomfortable and not liking things is a part of the human experience baby!!!! #trying to get rid of every little thing that makes you uncomfortable defeats the point of being alive!!! #you just wanna stay in your little bubble?? scared of anyone who doesnt fit your narrow view of what a person should be?? #that sounds so fucking sad #nothing new nothing exciting #just straight cis white folks living their straight cis white lives #AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW FUCKING STUPID RACISM IS HOLY SHIT #there is an entire world of different people with different cultures and experiences and art and foods and you dont want any part of it??? #because somebody spoke in spanish and you didnt understand them #the world does not revolve around you #people should not have to sacrifice their identity for your comfort #literally just mind your own business. someones elses gender is not your business. #terfs eat shit and die

[manasurge]

Tis' the season where I mentally and physically suffer. Complaining below (feel free to ignore, I'm just venting. I usually do this every year to get most of it out of my system lol):

mmm the fall/winter SAD is indeed in full swing. No warmth + no sun = a bad bad time. I always get so annoyed when ppl assume that I love winter bc I'm a "winter baby", as if that has any sort of divine intervention on instantaneously adapting you to perfectly fit the climate you were born in. NOPE. Silly human superstition. I start to freeze once it hits below 20C. I wish I lived in a warmer climate o|-< The depresso is probably going to make me very whiny and moody until next spring, so an early forewarning bc I'm EXTREMELY annoying about it this time of year bc it's the only way I know how to deal with it. But moreso in addition to the physical stuff is how badly it messes with my mind, making me so depressed to the point of just... sitting in non-moving silence where I become stiff as a board (very painful btw) and I isolate, making the bad depresso brain time even worse where I overthink everything bc of the silence and isolation. It's also always the time of year where everyone goes quiet too, which is understandable, but also makes things 10x worse (I am very alone in my life and where I am, and kind of rely on online friends bc they're all I have. I don't even have a pet. I'm literally just, loner mode. I don't really have much family to speak of, and only one family member I do speak to. I have little to no connections at all. But regardless, this is still the best living situation I've been in my whole life, so that's saying something).

#i hate the cold; I hate ice; cold air hurts my skin and burns my lungs #i hate snow (I'm sorry I just don't think it's pretty. It's gross; erases all colour/everything; blinding; kills everything; claustrophobic #I hate long nights; i hate all the darkness #I take Vitamin D drops every day during winter and they don't really help #I also use those special lights meant to help during the long darkness for the same reason; and they also do not help #nothing works!!!!!! eating and drinking hot things doesn't help me stay warm bc heat dissipates away quickly and doesn't help my extremitie #the cold makes me SO dry and dehydrated; makes my bones hurt; makes outside DANGEROUS AF. ICE IS BAD. BE CAREFUL. #I can't retain heat; my hypothyroidism makes me colder by default and I just don't metabolize good/fast enough to keep myself warm #(my body temp is lower than average; fun fact! same with my blood pressure! both of them are very low) #I think my average from all the times I've had it scanned during covid was 32-36C. No idea how that works; I just remember checking it a lo #my fingers and hands are going to freeze; making it harder to draw/type/etc. #I'm not going to wear gloves inside my home bc that's dumb and they don't help anyways. It will just screw up my ability to use my hands #I get to be in pain for months with increased potential of being sick :/ #also I HATE bundling/layering myself with clothing or blankets; it's suffocating; restricting; sensory hell for me; sweaters are uncomfy :( #also whenever I try to do that all it does is insulate the cold for me; keeping me colder for even longer!!!!! it's so unfair!!!! #I've worn out 2 space heaters already and they don't work properly anymore (I used them both so much I wore out my preferred settings lol) #sobs; i'm a sad plant lizard

[fexicoded]

+

#the way hearing about the toxicology reports for his death brought me a bit of a wave of sadness #it's tragic that the shit he was using was likely to be laced with the stuff found in his system #i really hope his family goes after the people who gave him that stuff because fent is an epidemic in the world #and i do truly believe he did not actively seek that out as we know fent drugs itself and being an addict does not discriminate no matter #the person the age or wealth #anyways i hope he's at peace and his demons are no longer temping him and he's safe with his father in heaven #also hate seeing the grossness of people reacting to his death being like he was an idiot for mixing it all #even in death no one cares #it was like a day they cared and now theyre back to calling him names and treating him like he was aways the lower member of society #they thought he always was #he was a person who struggled and more likely his coke was laced and he died #like let him rest now #and give him love that he deserved when he was still living

[gayestbinnie]

why is rob so insecure about his eyebrows like?? has no one ever told him that his droopy eyebrows are cute?? 😭

#the way he’s constantly tensing them so they don’t droop downwards on the ends #babe stop it 😭😭 #literally one of ur best features and ur SQUANDERING IT #watching the podcast and seeing him forget about keeping them flexed up #and they droop for a little bit until he remembers again 💀 #either that or it’s muscle memory and he only sometimes relaxes enough to drop them at this point #idk what it is but it makes me sad #i know he has a fake/forced massive ego like a fake it til you make it ego or whatever #but if i was his irl id make it much worse by calling him cute constantly #friends look away from these tags i’m being a gross rob lover #rob mcelhenney #the way he would HATE ME if he read this #idc rob maybe fuck me about it then

[solarisposting]

guess who's back in their compassion fatigue for library patrons era!!!

#HELLO IT'S ME SIGMUND FRAUD! #i've had one other Episode like this since being in libraries and it's so exhausting #and it makes me hate myself! i suddenly can't DEAL when interacting w/people who have mental illnesses that manifest in this that or the #or the other way. i stop caring about patrons' sob stories or hard days or legitimate crises or whatever else #i'm just angry all the goddamn time about being a brick wall for others' rage and sadness and issues when i'm a fucking book person who also #who also helps with technology. i cant handle my own fucking mental illnesses on any given day sometimes and absorbing others' hardships #when i'm not trained not equipped not PAID ENOUGH and having my own spirals and episodes...it is SO MUVH #i feel evil and heartless when i suddenly stop caring and am actively angry at patrons #this isn't even a carer type of work that i do! #and yet compassion fatigue in librarians is apparently super common. we're like retail workers minus patrons spending money at our #at our establishments. people are extra mean because of the tax dollars shit and the whole 'fulfilling gaps in social services' shit #losing my compassion for others a second time os fucking terrible. i don't want to he so angry and hateful. i don't wamt to be so checked #so checked out of others' suffering if the others are in front of me. it feels gross #and as ashamed as i am to say it? it weighs on me and makes me feel WORSE and so SELFISH #ann with an ie #and i am still tuned into global issues and care and am horrified #but things and people in front of me just...cease to register

[stinkrascal]

the weed alarm has awoken me from my slumber

#its actually my alarm i use to take birth control but i also use it as the weed alarm #i feel gross rn wtf. why didnt the nap help #i had a dream i was at a fair and ppl were sending me anon hate on tumblr so i couldnt enjoy the fair 😭 how sad is that #yes i have tumblr nightmares about being sent anon hate mind your business!! im sensitive ok

[girlwithfish]

having horrible self image i just have to deal w it cuz like hwen am i ever happy with how i look or my body i just want to stop being at war w myself or at least w my looks cuz it just is such a downer always being unhappy with my physical self like im already unhappy w who i am as a person cn i at least be satisfied w how i look😔☹️idk i never grew out of the self hatred phase it just sucks. very ed sh tw in tags i guess

#spent my childhood hating my body too all of middle school and hs basically like how did this happen lmfskdkd #id limit what i ate track calories i would take ice baths cuz i thought id burn calories all of this stuff it was so stupid and idk sad i #guess #no one rly cared either ig cuz my health wasnt in danger but i was so unhappy w myself and always tired and sad and just mde me more depres #depressed #now its like ive never been happy w myself i tried to be satisfied w my face after yrs of hating my looks and e asian features #and my facial deformity lol loke yeah #Ok #so i still hate that . sometimes i can tolerate my face but its not like i love myself or think i look good cuz #i feel like im just objectively ugly and i hate my face and i hate my body usually #unless if i see i lost weight or in the morning when im m*rnjng sk*nny its so gross like lol i need to stop #i hate it sm and i just feel like cutting myself out of my body idk like a lot #its like smth i just have to get over i guess idk what else there is Lol #i try to have a healtby relationship to food nd soemtimes i even like cooking and i dont fast or anything anymore cuz like i hate #feeling sick from hunger nd being tired im already tired in general so i need energy so yeah but #idk </3 #It just sucks idk how to dsal w it lik i just have to be satisfied and accept myself fro who i am #and all my looks and features and everything on my body #i guess #It just sucks cuz i think im the most ugly repulsive thing sometimes and wish i coukd disappear or cut myself away like.

[hella1975]

hey! just wanted to know if you had a schedule or something for twice as many stars. i have some problems with my email ^^' take care, love ya. bye <3

tams doesnt have an update schedule but the unofficial one i keep by is to try and update it once a week. obvs ive gone over that since the last update but some shit's been happening in my personal life and also i was sooooo poorly and sick and pathetic earlier this week so i think im justified <3 so yeah once ch4 is out ill hopefully be back to my once-a-week thing, but again, it's unofficial and im not putting stress on tams bc i love her and dont want her to become a burden x

#i am however SO excited for ch4 like writing-wise it's the exact kind of thing that's a MEAL for me #like i can grab it with both hands and BITE really get my gnashers into it #youse are gonna hate it though lolllll #ask #tams asks #im done being sad on main sorry about that but ty to everyone who supported me i love you a gross sappy amount #i also just ordered £18 worth of chinese food so maybe that's why im not as sad. cancelling out the hangover one spring roll at a time

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

bestie is coming home on 1st im having thoughts

#obviously i missed her and would love to see her but seeing her brings so many complicated feelings and i hate it #i realised somewhere in the middle of a metro surrounded by a crowd that my bestfriend loves her boyfriend more than she loves me #i saw them flirt and hug and ive known her since we were 11 okay i had never seen her be so happy and calm and peaceful and CONTENT #and it made me feel yuck disgusting gross that i could never give her anything like this in years of our friendship so ofc she loves him #more than me #i used to be annoyed at her telling me about him what he did down to evey detail but there's one i can remember really well #how she was upset with him and he got angry too very angry so she thought he was breaking up with her and she started sobbing so #uncontrollably on the phone itself because she couldn't lose him and so he at like 11 pm?? he left his pg and showed up at her house told #her to come down just to give her a hug and then they went to have ice cream to make her feel better #and i just. #obviously she loves him more ivy you don't even talk to her unless she talks to you you talk once in like 2 months #she has made me realise so many things about love 😭 #i think i get it love means showing up being there when the person you love needs you no matter what #like i get it's not always possible real life problems but #like he did have real life problems going out so late getting an auto not even being sure if she would come down cause she has very strict #parents #he was willing to put in all that effort just cause she was sad and that's why she loves him more than me it makes sense #but this is why i feel so scared im not even 2% of the person he is i always feel she is going to realise im an asshole and leave me #but we talk so less it wouldn't even affect me realistically #but then i would have lost all my childhood friends everyone who knew me when i was happy better than present atleast #i would have lost all friends period since i don't have any irl friends 😭 #this is why i feel conflicted 😭😭😭

[emmyspov]

today was so stressful already and now i still have to clean my flat and do the dishes so the handyman can come into my flat tomorrow with my landlord while i am not home :|

#i don't like the thought of them being in my flat without me at all #but i am in university so i don't have a choice if i don't wanna pay extra #i also just got off the phone with my dad and it left me feeling so weird #i hate it #not in a sad way just in a- i'm feel gross way #like i am mad and annoyed at him and how little he cares about my life #i just want this day to be over #while every item is ticked off of my to-do list #emmy's life

[nomaishuttle]

u guys cant judge me for anything i say after the first two sentences of this post are we clear. ok good. So ive been watching spn famously and there was one episode where theyre like you know. doing spn things.but supermassive black hole came on in the background and me and hal (im watching with hal obv) both shot up it was awesome

#it was super mega in the backgrojnd like as in it was playing in another room behind the dialogue. but i heard it and.got excited #bc its been stuck in my head for weeks #tisbe dont look #also im rly rly rly sry to say but i do think it had potential I HAVENT GOTTEN THAT FAR were watching the s2 finale today and ik the show #gets wayyy worse.. but like. i hate to say it some of the jokes do kinda land and the ones that dont are Rly fun to make fun of #there are some parts where im like. Oh dear god uts 2005 and your audience is 30 year old white dads whos only personality trait #is that they think theyd be able to survive a zombie apocalypse #and like there genuinely some gross shit in there . like badddd. but i like watching it and being able to turn to hal and were both like #Yeah that was bad. hashrag media literacy and stuff of that nature #abd then i theow my media literacy out the wjndow for asecond to think abt my spn rewrite thta isnt real and that would never happen but it #isss sort of slay i could fix her (the entire show) #ok sry. i dont post abt it bc well i dont post abt anything fandom or media related rly unless im lbing. but its a bit funny.... im like #simultaneously excited and scared to see how downhill the show goes #excited bc ik its gonna be rly funny in like A mocking it way but sad bc ik th show just like. forgets every interesting thing that it had #going for it.. #i will say watchnng it is like a rollercoaster bc first of all istg it alternates between good episodes and bad episodes frequently #and second of all WITHIN the episode itll be like okay? good good borjng bad bad good Thats Racist. boring cliche Good Good okay whatever #interesting character motivation that they shit on Oh i love that song :] the end. #and rhen add in 50000 homophobic jokes #ALSO IM RLY SRY TO SAY IT BUT I HAVE LAUGHED AT THE HOMOPHOBIC JOKES IM RLY SRY. THEYRE AWFUL LIKE GENUINELY #BUT THEYRE SO OUT OF POCKER SOMETIMES .. theyve had lke 3 seperate hotel front desk ppl go Oh fags? you need a fag bed for gay people? #fslur #sorry. its a little funny to me in like Wow thats rly homophobic. yk. its complicated ok. im allowed to say this I legit grew up gay in ky #anywyas NOW rhats all. sry i always ramble.i prommy i wont be posting abt it that much ^-^ i should make a liveblogging blog though maybe.. #not just for spn but just bc my lbs ALWAYS flood da dash... much 2 think abt

[bean-pronounced-bawn]

I have leftovers. I ate out for lunch. I want to order food for dinner

#I'm moving out this week and I got rid of my couch which makes me sad bc I don't really have anywhere else comfortable to sit #besides my bed and maybe my desk chair for short periods of time #and I hate eating in bed and my desk chair isn't the same vibe as the couch ofc #so now I gotta either eat at a table (gross) #eat in bed (gross) #or eat at my desk (gross) #my desk is being picked up tomorrow and I will likely be dismantling my bed frame tomorrow as well #aside from large furniture pieces I actually don't have much left in ny apartment #I've been slowly sending it back home with my parents every time they visit #I got most of my miscellaneous stuff in one box #probably one or two boxes for clothes #and a box or two for kitchen items (awkward shaped may be hard to fit in one box) #I don't want to leave I love it here and I'm sad #anyway

[gregoftom]

euuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggggghhhhhhhheeeeeerughrughgh

#txt #sorry i just watched the t*m and sh*v scene #IM SORRY OK IT JUST MADE ME FEEL UH....... NOT GOOD!!! #FOR EITHER OF THEM!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF THERE!!!!!! #tom looked like he was disassociating the entire time i really hate it #i know i Know the show is sad but god fucking damn this is just horrendous and gross and does such a disservice to like. sh*v?? erm. A #''you learn to disassociate fairly early'' oh he knows already sh*v. he knows. #WHEN HE SAID I WANNA SAY IM SORRY I ALMOST ATE PAINT but then he said for being there and i was like ok. hmmm but ok #then getting permission to go back and get a basic human function of sleep?? it's just. i dont like iiiit #I WANT THEM BOTH OUT IMMA BE REAL

[the-trans-dragon]

Accidentally brought up my microbial vats to a pretty woman but by some miracle she thought they sounded cool and asked for pics so uh, for anyone else interested here’s my ~proprietary blend of microbial life~ hanging out in their cozy little jugs

#sorenhoots #no idea what to tag this as lol #I put them under a readmore because I love them deeply and don’t want anyone to see them if they don’t want to #so they don’t think Oh Gross That’s Nasty and I Hate That #it would make me sad #feel free to think they are super cool though >:3 #I guess ^vat^ is maybe an exaggeration but considering I’ve only grown other things in little Petri dishes or small vials #these feel a lot like BIG VATS #and they’d feel even more like huge gigantic massive vats if I ever spilled one alcjkwjfd #they have such a unique and oddly pleasant smell #kinda like a mix between like #river muck; fresh cow poop; sweet wine. #sorry for saying cow poop smells good but I grew up in a cow field so it smells like home to me lol #I know that’s weird but I PROMISE ON MY LIFE if you grew up being around cow poop in a happy setting you would understand #like herbivore poop just kinda has a pleasant herby sweet smell and #yknow what I’m gonna shut up now cos this is just getting weirder and weirder and I would like people to think of me as Cool Sexy Butch With #Cool Sexy Microbe Tubs and not Absolute Freak Who Says Cow Shit Smells Good so #sorry and if you read this far I’m extra sorry and also thank you and I appreciate your attention

[gayforminatozaki]

why can't my mom ever let me feel good about myself. no matter what I wear, she always has to comment. if I wear a dress she likes she tells me to suck in my stomach bc I "look fat". if I wear a dress I like she says it looks ugly and cheap and shames me for buying it.

"it's not your style" she says, as if she knows shit about me. it's because of her that I don't feel comfortable in anything but a baggy coat. if it were up to me I'd wear crop tops and shorts and skirts that don't reach the fucking floor.

she says my shirt is too short when my friends think it's long.

she says I look fat when my friends say I'm thin.

she says I look like a slut wearing a short dress even though I look fucking fine.

sometimes I really do hate her, but there's nothing I can do about it.

and that kills me.

#mommy issues #body dysmorphia #idk what else to tag this #im just really mad and sad rn #i hate being tied to this stupid family and their stupid family traditions #and this shit religion that makes me feel gross for wearing shorts #ex muslim #exmuslim