#i hate horner but this is hilarious

[two-white-butterflies]

invisible string | m33 | part two

Description: You face a career-ending injury, that forces you to give up your childhood dream. 7 years later, you return to the paddocks as a guest - and as the Team Principal of Prema Racing. What happens when feelings are too difficult to hide?

Pairing: max verstappen/racer!reader

part one | part three

(2022, PARTY AT THE HORNER YACHT.)

"L/N is such an overrated driver, she had one of the most successful engines - anyone could've piloted that thing." Christian chuckled while pouring his guests another round of wine. Max absentmindedly laughed at the joke - he didn't really hear the joke but he figured that it must've been hilarious for all the people around the table to laugh.

Kimi Raikkonen's eyes narrowed - searching the boat for drivers who didn't agree with Horner's statement. "It takes a hundred female pilots to be one man." Horner shrugged and the table erupted into another chorus of laughed. This time, Max wasn't laughing.

itsmee_yn: If suddenly you forget me, do not look for me - for I shall have already forgotten about you. (Pablo Neruda)

912 comments 321,238 likes

oleole: this is totally about max's new interview 😭 - whispersme9: WHERE? - oleole: the one w/ daniel in the redbull yt

ynworld: Some people deserve to be in the past, mother. - itsmee_yn: totally !

selenagomez: ❤️

nicorosberg: Let's talk about it over coffee? - itsmee_yn: you only talk to me when there's tea :(( - - nicorosberg: You know me so well haha

maxverstappen1: What's going on?

192 comments 126,283 likes

ynandmaxuniverse: the hoes are fighting 😭

danielricciardo: I DID NOT START THIS. 🤲🏼 itsmee_yn liked this comment.

formulaonegirlie: ya'll imma need a full article on what the fuck is happening 😢 ALSO QUOTING TAYLOR SWIFT? WHEN SHE'S Y/N'S FAVORITE ARTIST AND FRIEND.

itsmee_yn: Had so much fun with this family ❤️ I'm legally changing my last name to Raikkonen.

912 comments 238,212 likes

kimimatiasraikkonen: 👍🏻 - itsmee_yn: that means so much to me king 👑

nicorosberg: and you didn't invite me? - itsmee_yn: WHO R U? - - nicorosberg: You're new best-friend since the last one got evicted. 🤯 - - - itsmee_yn: NAH

sebastianvettel: Let's catch up soon! - itsmee_yn: u r automatically invited to my house sir

nicorosberg's story

caption: sometimes i wonder if she really hates the man, or if she really hates how she loves him. 🤦🏼‍♂️

replies

itsmee_yn: UR A 37 YEAR OLD BULLY 💀 itsmee_yn: U SHOULD LITERALLY GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA nicorosberg: Why is your message blank? itsmee_yn: I'M TELLING KIMI THAT YOU'RE PUBLICALLY BULLYING HIS 1ST BORN DAUGHTER nicorosberg: publicly* itsmee_yn: GRAMMAR POLICE

itsmee_yn: 3 days before the Hungarian GP ✨

394 comments 458,238 likes

danielricciardo: You coming? - itsmee_yn: I have free tickets 😍

landonorris: OMG QUEEN WE HAVE TO MEET UP - itsmee_yn: ❤️

maxandynlover: Is the war over? CUZ... 😁

maxverstappen1: looking forward to it 😱

sabrinacarpenter: I was rooting for you sis 🙁 - ynprivateaccount: He has me weak on my knees 😭 - - sabrinaprivateaccount: old habits die hard 😢

(2022, HUNGARIAN GRAND PRIX)

"So, are you going to explain?" you placed both of your hands on your hips, staring at him with a glare that told him he wasn't going home scot free. "I talked to Kimi," he mumbled sheepishly. "I know that this isn't an explaination, but I want you to understand that I never meant to disrespect you in that way." he explained.

"Kimi told me what Christian said about you, and it wasn't funny. I shouldn't have laughed, I'm sorry." he apologized, taking another step closer to wrap you in an embrace - but you step away. All your life, you've been told that a woman didn't have room in Formula One - and to hear your best friend laugh at those jokes? It was worse than losing your career.

"Am I supposed to believe you?" you frowned, unable to comprehend that he was telling the truth. "You don't have to - but I'm sorry." he breathed with sincerity in his tone. You wanted to believe him, but you needed more convincing.

danielricciardo's story

caption: who u talking to? @itsmee_yn

replies itsmee_yn: secret no clue danielricciardo: 🤣

taglist: @laura-naruto-fan1998 @eternalharry @milaeth @msliz @lifesuckslife @ellamae021 @1-800-simpingcowbaby @trashcanrat @ccallistata @shouq @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @georgeparisole @allenajade-ite @eternalharry @messwithtess21 @benbarneslut @withyoutilltheendofthismess @omgsuperstarg @stillbreathin @mishaandthebrits @lemonsinpanic @styles-sunflower @cassiesworldsworld @1655-1485 @hachrinnen @luanasrta @fdl305 @reidsworld @sarahedwards16 @peargasleeeee @imsorare @sinofwriting

COMMENT TO GET TAGGED

#max verstappen #max verstappen fic #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x female reader #f1 fics #f1 #f1 imagine #max verstappen x reader #f1 smut #f1 fanfic

[dear-ao3]

hello question. what is your opinion on the Homo with a capital H Homoerotic relationship of the f1 tps. why are they fruitier than the twink drivers

they commit to the bit and i love it

whatever the hell toto and christian have going on is so hilarious. the silly little jabs they make at eachother. that line about how “it’s all for wikipedia anyway” that toto said about max breaking records and winning races that christian responded to later with something like “i know people think it’s just for wikipedia” or something. they’re insane. enemies to worse enemies 500000k slowburn.

and then the fact that totos wife is like nah they’re actually besties. they’re so fucking goofy.

for those who don’t know, christian horner is the red bull racing f1 team principle. he’s incredibly disney villain and married to ginger spice. toto wolff the the team principle for mercedes. he’s obsessed with pumpernickel and looks like he could have been a Disney villain but the wires got crossed somewhere. they Hate eachother because mercedes was on a winning streak and then redbull came and ruined their winning streak and now mercedes can’t make a car that goes fast. there’s also this great scene where horner tells toto “if you’ve got a problem change you’re fucking car” and i don’t have the link to that particular moment right now but someone please reblog with it.

also underrated was christian and cyril hating eachother during the whole engine thing

#not a tag #from saph #f1

[agendabymooner]

matilda ! max v. x ofc (hearth sister!ofc)

“you showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days.”

summary: sylvie ford wasn’t fond of the older men who stuck around in her life and those who didn’t even try to be there for her, but she couldn’t speak for him. one thing was clear, though: there’s a silent agreement that they’d take a different route from those who brought nothing but pain into their lives. (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)(9)(10)

content warning: angst angst hurt/comfort, use of explicit language, mentions of emotional traumas, brief description of paternal relationship issues (character’s father and max’s dad), emotional breakdown/crying (max) and support (ofc), “you talk of the pain like it’s no big deal”, christian horner is funny- ofc just hates him but he's cool

note: posting this because i want a lil context for the post after this lmfaoooo. i am sharing my view on max’s relationship with jos based on what i experienced btw— i have problems with paternal figures so 🫡 cheers enjoy xx

masterlist

She never once liked any older men to exist in her life. All but one, but it was mainly because Toto Wolff truly cared for Tilly. Otherwise, older men were the shittiest people to exist and they can choke for all she cares. 

The distasteful feeling that she got from knowing Christian Horner had subsided as she continued to work with him and the team. She was outspoken and passionate about what she believed in for that moment. She told him upfront about how she respected him but preferred to keep her personal life separate from her work. She never shared anything about her family. Everyone around them only got the gist of her life, but never did she share to everyone who she was. And with her dislike for her employer, she preferred to keep it that way. 

Toto merely earned her respect as he treated their relationship as if there's no man’s land. At least that was what had happened at the beginning, when he and her sister became official.

The end of the term exam ended and coincided with the summer break of the 2015 season. She wondered who he was as a person and had asked her chauffeur to take her to the Mercedes factory. Toto had surprisingly picked her up from the lobby when the receptionist called him about a “college student who would like to get an interview with him” named Sylvie, asking her if she actually needed some help with her research. 

To which she replied, “It’s nice to know you’re a considerate man. No, I don’t. I don’t have any paper to write. My term just ended, in fact.” 

She then spent her days in the factory with him being stuck on his desk. Oftentimes, she followed him like a duckling and asked him questions left and right about how communications between drivers and the public worked. 

It started there and she continued to visit the factory, now gaining a special access ID just in case she wished to barge in to pester the Mercedes staff with questions. Well, not to harass them but rather ask questions or observe here and there should they allow her to sit in.

Now the frown that she etched in her face while she worked became a permanent part of her routine. Christian once joked that she was Toto’s clone, to which her frown deepened in annoyance before she continued to work on whatever task she had in hand. 

She wouldn’t admit to Christian that she found it hilarious few hours after because her pride was bigger than her fondness of him.

But she was proud of herself for reaching that phase of mentorship. Toto was the only older man she tolerated. Having to grow up with no father and with only sisters — while both your stepmother and mother coparented — would give you that feeling. 

There was just something about father figures that made her feel so little and stupid. Perhaps it was her father’s expectations to make her a prodigal F1 driver — to put the Hearth name back to the motorsports community after being absent from the tracks for thirty years.

Julius wasn’t subtle when he’d put Sylvie in a private schooling program just as she started karting at the age of 5. He’d long given up on Tilly and Stevie, but Sylvie was his star driver. How her mother never got full custody of them, she didn’t know, but she disliked the fact that she had to attend driving classes with her father during his week and somehow still had to take the classes despite not living with him. 

She could remember having her piles of books being stored away once after she ended up on the 7th place of their tournament. He said that she didn’t need all of that kind of intelligence and that her education was an easy thing to pursue— it wasn’t a big deal to him. Everything that she wanted, he’d refuse. He wanted her to focus on racing, because the next time she ended up in such a position he’d burn the books. She began to race and fight against other competitors to get a good shot at winning trophies. She became somebody that she didn’t want to be. 

Maybe it was his arrogance and greediness that made her think that all fathers were the same. That… or maybe because she’d seen how Max’s father acted towards him after landing on 5th in Monaco. She felt her heart breaking at the sight of a defeated Max. She had seen it all before, but to hear it up close this time— it was even worse. She could feel his heart pounding, his need to clear his head and possibly cry it out— she could feel it. Because she was in that position before, and it takes a traumatized child to know one. 

Sure, Sylvie had grown a backbone to tell her father about leaving the academy without his knowledge and had somehow loosened her grip on her own ambitious thoughts, but she didn’t think that she’d witness a version of herself in the form of her best friend. This was what she didn’t see after abandoning her friendship with him. But it wasn’t as if she did it just to spite him. 

She merely needed the courage. At some point, Max Verstappen managed to win against his own father — but there was something about the father figures they’ve had in life that were too determined to keep their children on a tight leash. 

She pretended as if she didn’t eavesdrop on Jos’ berating and merely gave him a curt nod and a stink eye before she approached Max’s drivers room. She could hear him throwing his bag in rage… then silence.

He was seething in disappointment. He wasn’t disappointed in anyone but himself. And the anger that he had told Sylvie that he needed to sit down for a moment. By himself. 

There was just something about their fathers that drove them mad. They’re always too greedy and arrogant, and they both damaged their bloodlines at a young age because of their vile desires and lack of empathy towards others and their own children.

Thankfully, his father had flown back to the Netherlands right after the race. Max, from what Christian had told her (with a sympathetic smile), had retired early to his room instead of partying. Good, she told herself, because he needs someone and some ice cream right now. 

Marinara was going to sleep in Stevie’s room tonight. Sylvie was very good at begging until others cave in to her pleading face, and it obviously worked on her older sister too. So after dropping her dog off, her fluffy sandal-cladded feet made their way into another floor and directly to his room. 

She patiently waited for him to open the door after knocking, her plaid pajamas hanging on her hips while she wore a blue jumper over her white cropped shirt. She could hear the faint footsteps gradually moving their way to the door. She was met with Max’s reddening eyes just as he swung the door open. 

Her hands held a tub of ice cream as she shuddered at the cold water the dripped down her hand, “It’s melting. And there’s less calories on it so you’re not gonna fully ruin your diet.” 

He stared at it for a moment, then looked back at her as he stepped aside to let her in.

The night they spent together consisted of watching Miss Congeniality and Easy A (again). While Sylvie laughed along at some jokes, she could hear how he took deep breaths before regaining his composure. It happened every other minute. 

She decided to put the ice cream on the table and turned to look at him. He, acting as if he wasn’t grounding himself ten seconds ago, asked her with a croak, “W-what?” 

She didn’t answer, observing all of him. His facial features. His surprisingly messy bed hair. His bloodshot eyes. His lips were more plump than usual. His cheeks were tinted pink. She could just tell that he wanted to let it out. But he grew up being told that, “his feelings wouldn’t be a big deal when he’s competing.” 

Sylvie pushed her sleeves back and wiped the tear away from his eyes, smiling faintly at him and breathing evenly. She was more grounded than he was, and her simple gestures helped him get back. Somehow. 

Then his deep breathing method didn’t work out, now quietly sobbing as Sylvie hugged him on his side, her hand circling his back gently. Sandra Bullock’s voice tampered his sound of defeat, but it wasn’t as if it mattered. He could cry for as long and as loud as he wanted. 

She hadn’t even realized how late it was until he fell asleep in her arms, head resting on her chest while she ran her fingers through his hair. She could barely see the digital clock and couldn’t figure out if it said eleven or one, having to squint and adjust a little to look closely. 

These days, she has been able to sleep before midnight. After that intimate moment she shared with her best friend, she had been able to close her eyes peacefully. He’ll have to figure out what helps him sleep better. It’ll be easier if he sought help from professionals— that’s what the team was for. He’ll give them success and in exchange, they make things easier for him. Nobody really knew what eased Max off, because he seemed more calmed and relaxed for the past few races. But that was because he knew that she was only a few footsteps away from him.

It was as if they had their little sanctuary that nobody could find. They couldn’t find themselves in the arms of other people, already used to each other’s affection and the solace that came with it. As if it was normal for friends to be this… considerate. 

Everyone who knew the two as a pairing would simply laugh when you tell them about the peculiarity of their “friendship.” You would think that they’d have intervened by now, but their relatives and friends merely shrugged it off. They returned to their old routine, except they’ve grown. It was normal for their families to see the two together, much to Max’s father’s dismay, knowing that whatever they may have planned was already thought of and agreed on. 

Their closest friends laughed at the thought of their relationship being platonic. What a fucking dream it would be if best friends can just casually buy a house together, or decide to adopt a puppy together (which happens more frequently than not). It would be a wild experience for anyone if their best friends would just platonically steal glances from their other half. 

And friends don’t create their own little family like that. Just the two of them, and their dog. They don’t play mum and dad while they’re just “friends.” No friends would silently agree with raising their kids the way their fathers hadn’t treated them before, just to avoid that pain all over again.

So no, if you were to ask anyone who knew them well — they’d say that Mustang and Cadillac being friends would be a load of rubbish. Even the two knew that the thought was ridiculous. 

Peering down at the Dutchman, she sighed softly while snores escaped his mouth quietly. His weight on top of her was comforting, immediately lulling her to a dreamless sleep. 

They really need to work on not bottling their feelings up.

#formula one fanfiction #formula one fic #formula one imagine #formula one x oc #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #red bull racing imagine #mv33 imagine #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen fic #max verstappen #max verstappen au #max verstappen angst #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen x oc #f1 fics

[hsr-texts]

why do ppl act like the ones saying that hanabi and ratio are racist... have never seen any other piece of media ever?

because they say absolutely braindead shit like "who would've thought a villain would act like a villain" or "hoyo fans dont actually like villains unless they're a dommy mommy"

like BITCH I lovveedd Jack Horner, Goldie, and Death from Puss in Boots too. They're ALL different types of villains who are written so well and fit the plot's narrative really well.

Jack Horner is created to be this absolutely evil being for... well, basically no reason. And he knows this too. When the Ethical Bug tried to redeem him, he came to the conclusion he was a monster.

And he was HILARIOUS

Just because people hate your lil uwu waifu and husbando doesn't mean they "don't like villains"

How absurd

#♡ sugo speaks .ᐟ [ ✦ ]

[proxylynn]

What is the most evil thing Jack Horner has done?

[Hang on, let me check what his villain wiki says. I bet it's hilarious. *grabs list* Keep this in mind...Jack did all of this in just 20minuts of screen time.]

Mass murder (inc. murder by negligence)

Attempted world domination

Organized crime

Conspiracy

Multiple counts of theft

Animal cruelty

Labor law violations

Workplace violence

Mass property destruction

Abuse of power

Psychological abuse

Terrorism

Kidnapping

Blackmail

Abuse

Torture

Death threats

Assault

Endangerment

Arson

Unlawful detainment

Hate crimes

Stalking

#ask op #big jack horner #jack horner

[lolexjpg]

s2e1-2

e1: -first lewis sighting!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳 -"beginning of the season so your dreams are still alive" nico was so real for this -its seb!!!!!!!!! -daniel's visit to renault this episode is So Good and its just daniel being charismatic!! he's not dts's golden boy for nothing lmao -i don't like christian horner but at least he's cunty when he's being awful. that's exactly why i hated otmar so much like if you're gonna be an ass at least be fun about it. anyway christian is good tv, unfortunately -don't have a lot of detail for this but i do love hearing the whole ~future of red bull & max~ bit, especially knowing where that story goes!

e2: -i actually look forward to haas (and williams) episodes because in my previous rewatch i skipped them lmaooooo. so they're more unfamiliar to me! -therefore rich energy feels like a distant fever dream to me. he should legally change his name to richard btw. my consulting fee is 10,000$ -black suits did fuck tho -sat up STRAIGHT in my chair when i saw ayao komatsu's name pop up. hey i've seen that name before!! cool to see him with the team earlier and best of luck man 🫡 -steiner vaguely threatening to replace the guy who goes on to replace him is HILARIOUS btw -love kevin. hate haas love kevin. awesome p5. i would love to see kevin go to another team he deserves SO much better. OR i'd love to see him in indycar (which we almost got!!) -since komatsu and grosjean have such a history together, i wonder if kevin feels slighted in that there might have been bias in the decision of who got to run the "better" car here -all i will say on the crash is i think they should have hate sex about it. you can just assume i'll say this abt any crash honestly -NARRATIVELY stunning episode. i do wish i cared more lmao. GREAT kevin episode. love the tea the drama kevin used to be so hotheaded compared to know. as i've said about SEVERAL drivers -the way gunther lets himself be mic'd up for everything is insane. *eating popcorn gif* -i think gene checked out around this time. i dont think he does interviews after this seasons and i think thats reflective of his investment (financial and otherwise) in the team. bro really checked out the SECOND they had a rough patch like BRO. he made it a self fullfilling prophecy

#i rly wanna play f1manager now so i'm going to! #dtsrewatch #she speaks

[o-wyrmlight]

Puss In Boots: The Last Wish!

Note: Probably going to be spoilers for this Awesome Movie

Blorbo: Puss in Boots. Like my goodness, have you seen the character growth he went through in this movie? It's wonderful. It's amazing. It's learning not to take your life (or lives in this case) for granted and just. Living in the moment, with people you love and trust. I love that! God, that scene that cut to him sitting at a campfire alone killed me.

Scrunkly: Perrito! I love Perrito. At first, you think he's one of those comedy-relief characters who's too purposefully written to be annoying, but he's just such a genuinely sweet character who sees the best in everyone and everything. He wants to be a therapy dog, which I think probably comes from his own tragic backstory that he is... very likely repressing. He's an example of 'terrible things can happen to you, but you can still choose to be a good person in spite of that'. He's a sweet little lad and I love him.

Scrimblo Bimblo: You could consider the last wish itself to be a character, or more specifically, the forest itself. Because my goodness, it feels almost as if the forest itself is designed to help you come to peace with your trauma and your issues. The last wish isn't something that it's trying to protect--it's like the wish itself is enchanting the forest so that people will become at peace and realize that they don't need a wish to solve their problems. I just think it's rather interesting and wholesome--and I love how, at the end, the characters realized that they didn't need a wish to be happy.

Glup Shitto: Jimminy Cricket deserved better. How dare they shove him on the shoulder of an irredeemable asshole. It's hilarious. I hope he's not dead.

Poor little meow meow: Is there one in here...? I guess Puss would also apply to this, as well. Like, goodness. Once again, I loved his whole storyline so much.

Horse Plinko: Puss and Kitty! I love how Kitty's character is more about how she could never find concretely somebody that she could trust, and how Puss' fear time and time again got in the way of showing her that he could be trusted. Because he didn't trust her! He didn't trust her enough to tell her anything about what he's going through right now! And that fear--though understandable--is shown to be something that can and does hurt other people! I appreciate Kitty. She's a good character.

Eeby Deeby: I'm delighted to inform you that Big Jack Horner is dead. I love the charisma of the character, but I hate the character himself, and I believe that was the intention. I'm going to die if he becomes the next Tumblr sexyman. Because that's just a thing that would happen, isn't it?

#puss in boots: the last wish #ask game #thank you!!! this was fun #also i do love death's character quite a bit let me just add that in there real quick #not going to get too into it but basically i love a death who appreciates and acknowledges the intrinsic value that is. you know #living your life to the fullest and not taking it for granted

[lancerious]

I decided to do the same hc you thingy so here we go:

1) You are a firmly believer who Sweet Cap'n and Cakes are siblings

2) You like horrors/romance more than you look

3) You are allergic to a specific type of food or pets

4) You adopt your comfort character's vocabulary in yours and don't want to be stopped

5) You prefer more serious, tragic and multi dimensional characters over the 90s twirling mustache villain but hates them when they are either mysoginist(hope I wrote it right) or homophobic or abusive. Despite this your fav cartoon villain is either Bill Chipeer or Jack Horner (and enjoy Villainous)

I never actually thought about it much, but yeah Sweet Cap'n Cakes all being siblings makes the most sense out of any theory I've heard regarding them

I do like horror a decent amount, though I definitely liked it a LOT more a few years back when I was a younger teen. But I don't like romances, never have

Actually, as far as I know, I'm not allergic to any food/pet. It could just be that I haven't come into contact/eaten anything that I AM allergic to, but so far, I haven't had any allergic reactions to anything

Absolutely true, my god is this true. I do this more in-person than online but even here it's true to a degree

This one is definitely true as well. I've always liked the more complex and emotional villains over the "I'm bad because I can be" type of villains. A prime example of this is Spade King, who DESPITE what some people say, has already shown some depth and isn't a one-dimensional villain, i.e caring for Lancer even if he doesn't show it the best way. BUT I will say I do like some purely evil villains too. My fav cartoon villain is actually Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender (or ATLA)--who is admittedly not a purely evil, one-sided villain--but I do like Bill Cipher and Jack Horner a fair amount as well. Especially Bill Cipher lol, that guy is hilarious. Also it's "misogynist", don't feel bad for misspelling it though lol, I had to look it up

Thanks for the submission, and I like your content as well :)

#ask #mutualio

[sennaverstappendiary]

american grand prix ✩ 22.10.2023

i actually have some very fond memories about this weekend!!! to start with, it was during autumn break 🍁🍂 and i was spending it at my grandparent's cabin (they have a new one, where i had never been before) 💕💕🥰🥰🥰🥰‼️‼️ so that was fun in its own right!!!

qualifying... yea i watched that at home still and i had soooo hoped that lap would stay put but NOOO we just had to deal with track limits 😒😒😒💔💔💔💔 but its fine 😭😭😭 we got chole!!!! i fucking love chole!!!!!!!! also charles' helmet was actually kinda great i enjoyed it 👍😁✨

sprint quali was funny. max pole so obviously i was very very happy and enjoying myself but also max SPIIIIINNN 😵😵💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️ also my grandpa wanted to watch with me and i was allowed to watch sprint quali at the dinner table 😁😁😁 with the sound off... but still 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 i spend the entire evening very drunkily defending max from my max-hating mom and grandma... grandpa came to the conclusion max is kinda autistic (wbk) 😁😭😭😭😭😭🌷🌷🌷🌷🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍷🍷🍷🍷

the sprint itself i watched in bed while sharing a room with my sister. first and only time ill watch anything f1 related in silence. it went good tho so i liked it‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ MAX WIN😁😁😁😁🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹 nothing could have prepared me. for. the horrors.

so. race day. aka grandpa's birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA😭😭😭😭😭🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾 yeah i was once again allowed to watch race at the dinner table, because unfortunately for my mom and grandma my grandpa wanted to watch this shit with me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰💌💌💌🍷🍷🍷 yeah. the race. i was genuinely so shell shocked afterwards that i had to sit in silence completely nonverbal for 30 minutes. an hour maybe. i had never felt this kind of fear before. listen. with singapore it was hopeless... this was. it felt like lewis was fucking hunting us down like a LION 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I FELT HIS FEAR. STOP TALKING WHEN IM IN THE BRAKING ZONE MAN 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 the issues with rocky.... the horrors of it all... im sick to my stomach 🥺🥺🥺 us still winning?? somehow?? AND THEN THE FUCKING. DSQ. yeah. very funny. thank you. 😁😁😁✨✨✨☀️☀️☀️☀️🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷 also fuck horner but my mom seeing geri and screaming "WHAT IS A SPICE GIRL DOING HERE" is genuinely hilarious 😭😭😭😭😭😭

✩ song of the race: IT GIRL - aliyah's interlude

i-t-g-i-r-l... you know i am that girl....

✩ extra: a small photodump

#cota gp 2023

[leclerc-s]

i did something bad - part six

THE RED BULL DOMINANCE CONTINUES

masterlist//previous//next

SAUDI ARABIA 2024

teaganhorner in preparation for saudi arabia

view all comments

📍teaganhorner charles wins in monaco and i hard launch my relationship

↳ username charles i swear to all things holy, if your ass doesn't win monaco i'm throwing a rock at you (not literally. i will not be committing assault. it’s a figure of speech.)

landonorris please tell that man didn’t cook pasta. he’s as bad as charles.

↳ charles_leclerc you’ve never had my cooking. shut up.

↳ arthur_leclerc i have. i pray for anyone who eats your food.

↳ teaganhorner i cooked, i don’t want food poisoning. i've also had charles's cooking i ended up with food poisoning before

↳ charles_leclerc THAT WASN'T MY FAULT! IT WAS THE EXPIRED MILK I TOLD YOU AND MAX NOT TO DRINK! YOU SAID, "YOU'RE NOT MY DAD, YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

↳ maxverstappen1 why'd you have expired milk in the first place?

↳ charles_leclerc because i hadn't been home in over 2 months?

username teagan, you have a perfectly good dinner table, why are sitting on the counter?

↳ teaganhorner my boyfriend said i was banned from the table if i kept quoting taylor swift lyrics to him. like it’s my fault he’s the embodiment of daylight and gorgeous?

↳ pierregasly this man can't even defend himself because you two are so secretive.

alex albon added 6+ people

logan sargeant suddenly alex shouting 'was is over' makes sense now.

alex albon it was either i renamed this chat and added you people here or i added you to the red bull chat. the red bull chat is sacred i couldn't add you there

alex albon anyways, even teagan hates your cooking charles

charles leclerc my cooking is fine teagan horner you still owe me a new pan from trying to make pancakes drunk

daniel ricciardo soo...are we going to talk about what teagan commented?

teagan horner it was a heat of the moment thing

daniel ricciardo i don't give a shit. maaxx!!!!

max verstappen i'm not throwing the race so charles can win. charles leclerc he's not throwing the race so i can win. checo perez maybe quali? charles leclerc not you too checo. checo perez fine. may the best man win.

mark webber wait, so no one knows you two are dating? i thought everyone knew already?

pierre gasly no, no besides the people in this chat and carlos know they're dating.

mark webber remind me again how long those two have been dating?

max verstappen almost 2 years. teagan horner 2 years in like 8 months. max verstappen almost 2 years, like i said. they're the longest of my entire life. teagan horner you're just mad i got to date him before you. we all know you've been pinning since the inchident lando norris emotional support rivals at it's finest daniel ricciardo it's like mark and seb in 2010-2014

george russell so the red bull chat thing is real? i thought you guys were fucking with us.

liam lawson oh it is very much real. daniel spoiled charles signing to red bull by adding him. pierre and alex had no clue what was happening. it was hilarious.

charles leclerc and for the record, i didn't ban her from the table, she got mad because i told her to stop singing i did something bad.

teagan horner lies. slander. dishonor on you! dishonor on your cow! daniel ricciardo did you seriously just quote mulan? teagan horner it's mushu not mulan you uncultured fuck daniel ricciardo it's the same movie?

sebastian vettel you're all children

mark webber i agree fernando alonso so do i lewis hamilton me too

lando norris better to be known as children than the f1 sluts

george russell that is not the flex you think it is buddy

AUSTRALIA 2024

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @spilled-coffee-cup @evans-dejong @elliegrey2803 @bingewatche

¡leclerc-s speaks! i swear this is probably the most boring chapter i've put out so far so i used shitty humor to cope with that fact. i've also created a google form for people to fill out if you wish to be added to the taglist. this was supposed to go up after the grand prix and a hopeful podium for charles but this man is so unlucky he was out in the formation lap. his bad luck needs to seriously be studied.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #i did something bad series #f1 instagram au #f1 x oc #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 #formula one #f1 fic #formula 1 fic #f1 x female oc #charles leclerc x female oc

[holdmyhopeinyourhands]

This is literally the funniest shit I've ever seen heeeeelp. I can just imagine Horner rolling up with his entire redbull crew and merc just showing him like the washing rooms insisting that that is their entire factory. "We're downsizing, haven't you heard."

I need someone to film this. Please.

#f1 #mercedes #redbull #christian Horner #finally some fun news #i hate horner but this is hilarious

[momimf1ne]

christian horner is just undiagnosed mental illness really

#i say as a mentally ill person #idk it’s hilarious to me #i hate this man with a burning passion #christian horner #redbull #f1 #formula one

[lewdo]

Max basically indirectly confirmed on the pitwall stream that lando does have an exit clause in his contract.

Also, the watch along with Will was pretty funny and if you are ready to go through that race again you will get loads of christian horner/ rbr hate from Will which is honestly hilarious.

ooh did he?? do you know when he did it? i watched the first half of the race with it on aswell then gave up as the race was boring lol but i did watch the last lap reactions solely for wills reaction because i love that man and his hatred for anything bull related

#ask #anon

[fcb-mv33]

Horner cheated on his pregnant wife. Max got his title gifted. Your daddy Jos abused his wife Max supported him in that. He's racist. Are you that dumb, Cassie? /

Op will gladly tell Christian all about how displeased they are about him cheating on his then pregnant wife so many years ago 🙄🙄. I'm not going to defend cheating, as it is a pretty dick thing to do especially to someone who is having your child but that is personal family matter, we don't know any of the parties involved, we don't know what transpired, we literally know jack shit. Cheating is wrong but it's not always an indicator of someone is good or bad like allegedly Lewis cheated on Nicole, does that make him a bad person? I say allegedly because like Christian these are rumors from the daily fucking mail. Your sources are a pile of bullshit. They're a joke. And please don't pretend to care about Horner's ex because I doubt you even know her name.

Pissing myself at the Max got gifted his title last season. Only team LH anons are so blind lmao. Did you even watch last season?

Fucking hilarious how you think op even tolerates Jos when they've been more than open about how much they hate and dislike him for good reason. Max was a kid and teenage during this period of time, if you were fortunate enough to grow up without an abusive parent literally shut the fuck up. I'm not going to speculate on Max's relationship with his father but there are so many red flags from stories about how Jos treated him, safe to say it wasn't a healthy environment at the very least. Unless you had a parent like Jos you can't say jackshit. You hear stories about it, Max had to survive them. You know who else suffered under Jos? Sophie, Max's mother. I'm pretty sure she still has a restraining order against him with good reason. Max's relationship with her tells you everything you need to know about Max.

Lol genuinely like I have Christian on speed dial I’ll give him a ring and let him know an anon is so displeased at him lol. Like seriously it’s bad af cheating is disgusting but Lewis has a good few accusations as well.

And they literally only watched the last three races and decided Lewis deserved the title lol, forgot all the other races where Max was so much better.

And if they looked through my blog they would know I genuinely cannot stand jos but he is Max’s dad…like you cannot expect a child to chose between one parent and Max did not cause he he literally loves him mother so fucking much…that’s not even a question so for them to bring that up is vile. But I like this…you got great points anon🧡🧡

#anon💜 #pls they act like imma call Christian #like hold on give me a minute😂😂 #literally cannot see they can act like that #but your points are beautiful #lots of love honey🧡🧡

[semperama]

DTS Season 4, Ep 4

Legit just thought about skipping the dumb Haas episode, but here we go.

Truly why do we need to give a WHOLE EPISODE to a team that fights itself for last place? Snore.

Ahh yes, the cash infusion that came from the Russian oligarch. Aged like milk.

"Who came up with the Russian color scheme?" "It isn't a Russian color scheme." Oh, Gunther.

Honestly, I still don't know how I feel about Mick. He really does seem like a perfectly sweet kid, and I feel so much empathy for him for what he's had to go through with his dad. It would be nice if he could get onto a better team and be able to make a name for himself independent of the hype he can bring to the team with the most rancid vibes on the grid.

Can already tell you this episode does not spark joy.

Look, we hate Mazespin for myriad very legitimate reasons, but don't we all know it's bullshit to blame him for not being able to drive a fundamentally undrivable car? Yeah, he's not on par with Mick, but it feels to me like knocking him for not being able to ride a pogo stick around the track as fast as Mick. It just 1. doesn't matter, and 2. doesn't say much about his ability to drive.

This episode is my Everest. If I can make it through this, I can make it through anything.

I realize there's always going to be backmarker teams, but I honestly think maybe they should do something where if a team isn't consistently within so many seconds of the leaders, they lose their spot. How does it really help the sport for Haas to even exist? If anything, it's detrimental.

Hilarious that the downtime shots of Horner are at his country mansion and the downtime shots of Gunther are like...climbing an extremely treacherous looking mountain, lmao.

Re: Sochi: "They want to show their countrymen what they are able to do." Again...you gonna do that in a Haas??

Glad they got in that shot of Lando screaming "NO!" about inters. Needed that after episode 2. Needed that amid this travesty of an episode.

Petition for no Haas-specific episodes next season. This was bad. 0/10, do not recommend.

#drive to survive #dts spoilers #dts liveblogging #annnddd that's all i have in me for today

[leham-n-daavocado]

Formula 1: Drive to Survive, S2:E2 "Boiling Point"

And I'm back!

This is the Haas-Rich Energy Saga episode. It opens up with Guenther going on a run of curses due to the Haas' poor performance in 2019 after finishing 5th in 2018. And it's not surprising they're not doing well when the leader treats people so poorly. He literally denigrates his team in the meetings. Even Gene Haas is the same towards Guenther. It's no wonder things are going bad.

Knowing what I know now, a lot is put into perspective. Renault must have felt duty bound to beat a small team running after market Ferrari parts that outsources its chassis when they were an engine manufacturer and constructor.

That being said, the very thing that made Haas successful in 2018 has really come to bite them. The reliance on Ferrari and other outsourced designers. It's hard to know what's wrong with a car when you don't really know what other have done. They want to be a strong F1 team, but they lack the vision to pull them out of being a small operation. As long as they want to do F1 cheap, they're never going to have the success of teams with a larger vision because their focus is too narrow. Their vision is the bare minimum it takes to be in F1. It also forces them to make desperate deals with shady billionaires.

We see the Haas car launch and the location is just freaking weird. It's this super bougee building with old European art (stuff from the 1700s to late 1800s of my eyes don't deceive me) and it just doesn't fit Haas' brand as an upstart American brand.

LMAO at that clip of Christian Horner saying everything is going well given a Red Bull front row lockout in Austria.

Ouch. You can't help but feel bad for Kevin, Romain and everyone in the garage with that bad race in Austria. Poor Kevin started 5th and ended up 19th because it had no pace.

It's hilarious he drives a Mercedes road car though. Kevin sailing in Denmark is one of the most iconic cinematography moments of DTS. It's beautiful.

Guenther's wife Gertraud makes this face when Guenther says he doesn't take the emotion of work home with him 😬... and we all know that isn't true lol.

And then Rich Energy pulls out because of Haas' poor results. We also learn from Gene Haas that they've reneged on full payment having only made an initial payment. Can you say clusterfuck?

And speaking of clusterfuck, Haas has to go back to an old spec car to see if they can find out what is wrong with the car. Romain gets the go to run the old spec. Not only that, Romain and Kevin run into each other, get punctures and both DNF. Oh, and they have to keep the livery of the sponsor that dumped them.

And now we have set the scene for the infamous door smashing. I'm not surprized it happened. Yes, Kevin and Romain deserved to be chewed out for their actions on track, but Guenther made it personal and not about their behaviour. He degraded them as people. In contrast, if you talk about behaviour and how it affects other people, a situation isn't personal and the emotions don't spill over. Of course it's at Silverstone because DTS love it....

Rating: 5/10

I haven't cared about Haas since season one. I hate watching the way the leadership treats people poorly. Like, I may not like all the teams, but no one else treats people like Guenther does on DTS and I just can't find it entertaining to watch him actively use insults to try and get positive behaviour out of people.

#f1 #formula 1 #formula 1: drive to survive #drive to survive #haas #kevin magnussen #romain grosjean #guenther steiner #boiling point