#i hate it and like it at the same time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

areyouscaredyet · 5 months

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if they dated i think it would be like this

#squishing the barbies together again...#i feel like they have nothing in common but also everything at the same time #spto #they hate each other #joining forces to be extra evil #scott pilgrim takes off #gideon graves #matthew patel #throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks #gravespatel

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peachybunana · 3 months

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THEYRE HERE AND THEYRE REAL

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #shadow the hedgehog #sonic generations #sonic x shadow generations #sonadow #IM FREAKING OUTTTT #AAAAAAAAA #peachys art #2k #this INSTA BLEW UP #THANK U TUMBLR... UR A REAL ONE... TWITTER ALGORITHM HATED THIS ONE (got around 50 likes in the same time as this one)#maybe i will ... draw them more. who knows.#3k #THIS IS INSANE #U GUYS ARE INSANE #/POS #4k #ok this is getting long this is the last time im updating the tags

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kennythetrampvamp · 8 months

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inkskinned · 3 months

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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

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egophiliac · 2 months

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CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS

there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head

I don't know why I decided to draw it this way

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #(these will be relevant in a moment)#this isn't going to happen. but WHAT IF.#anyway i didn't get him (damnit birdman come home) so i had to look up his story #and let me tell you friends my findings were SHOCKING #crowley canonically likes vegetables which means that the crowley is revaan theory = BUSTED #crowley is sailor venus = CONFIRMED #(i know 'whip of love' is a saying but that's where my mind always goes)#DISCLAIMER: this is (mostly) a joke please continue to hold whatever theories and headcanons you want #but look. c'mon. look over here at this whiteboard i've covered in red yarn.#revaan being a picky eater has come up multiple times and there is an entire whole bit about how much he hated jerky and refused to eat it #and now they've made a point of talking about how crowley will eat almost anything and loOoOoves wild game meat especially #it's SO stupid but i can't help but read way too much into it #(this is tumblr if you don't want to see incredibly stupid overanalysis of anime guys then why are you HERE)#and i gotta hold on to something because otherwise whenever malleus and crowley are onscreen together i just keep going 'same hair color...#unless this is like. some kind of deep cover thing.#lilia doesn't recognize him because he saw him eat a green bean once and revaan would NEVER #crowley's secret is safe for another day #(serious hat on: i do think they're probably connected in some way)#(but there's something deeper going on that we're just not clued into yet that will hopefully explain things)#man forget revaan what if crowley whips off his mask and it turns out he was meleanor this whole time #wait hold on meleanor loves jerky. IT ALL FITS...

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bixels · 2 months

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Posting a sneak-peak of this now because I'm about to be In The Shit school workload-wise, so this'll take me a while to finish.

Doing some character design exploration/expression sheets for Celestia and Luna. Figuring out Celestia's weird ass anatomy while I'm at it.

#mlp #celestia #fanart #my art #wip #the grand galloping 20s #delete later #look at me fucking smart guy signed up for 4 art classes in one quarter #so now i have 4 concurrent art/film/creative writing projects going on at the same fucking time #taking bets on how fast i burn out #anyways the idea behind the faces is the front face is the surface. it displays whatever emotions celestia intends when she's in control.#the two side faces––sadness and anger––are sides of her she has less control over. i drew all 3 faces active for the exploration #but in reality only 1 is active at a time. the others will either close their eyes or go catatonic like a puppet or doll #the final face on the back of the head is the deep subconscious. every ugly and violent and hateful thought and emotion #that lies buried under the surface. celestia has no control over that side of her. if she ever wakes

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lazycranberrydoodles · 6 months

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english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness

#so the part of the book where kid hua cheng suddenly sits bolt upright #because he senses something in the room #and this 7 year old is just 👁️👁️ and radiating immense killing intent #hes so fucking funny 😭#i love him being weird and strange and offputting #‘dianxia why does the high schooler that hangs around your house sometimes have glowing red eyes and know things he definitely shouldnt #and crush things into dust with his bare hands and seem to hate the sun an-‘ mind your own fucking business #drawing baby hc was so much fun i hope i do it again soon #the secret is that xie lian is JUST as deeply weird as his husband but in a less obvious and threatening manner.#guy who has to keep his internal monologue internal because he is thinking things like “wouldnt wanna get choked by those hands!”#out of every god character he is the one who seems to have changed the most from immortality #dying presumably hundreds of times and being alone for hundreds of years does something to your brain #“xiao hua why does your cultivator talk weird and wear the same clothes and eat the same food and-” HE IS AUTISTIC!!!! AND JADED BY THE #PASSAGE OF CENTURIES!!! YOULL NEVER KNOW WHICH IS WHICH!!#my art #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #art #tgcf meme #mxtx #天官赐福 #lmao #hob #heaven official's blessing #the people have spoken...

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4.5: Morning Period.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #mdzs au #Yunmeng Jiang training arc AU #This is 4.5 because it was originally all supposed to be part of the same comic #This part wasn't as punchy and I was close to scrapping it but I figured I'd at least give it a chance.#Despite the fact I already had it in pencils...cleaning it up took a very long time. Still hate it. Sunken cost fallacy enacted: It lives.#Okay quick commentary (I'm very late to post today)#While this is supposed to be a 'snapshot' of routine - Wei Wuxian slept in. Normally he is up earlier.#Meaning he delayed the dueling part of the day. Hence LWJ's hand gesture.#I also imagine that LWJ and JC have a bit more of a friendship in this AU since they spend a few hours in the morning sans WWX #I always enjoyed how JC and LWJ on paper seem like they would get along but Do Not in canon. Let me have a world where they do.

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couch-house · 5 months

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I think sonic had a really good time not being playable for once and just being supporting cast for his friend shadow. i just know he was soooo excited to explain the controls and not worry about rings and cheer on his friend (and sometimes be a final boss :3)

#sth #shth #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the character #fanart #id in alt text #i have. another batch of shadow (game) drawings after this #bc im having a really good time with it #it is definitely somewhere in the top 3 sonic games for me. it's good! and anyone who says otherwise just hates fun #sonic in this game soooo funny he IS so annoying but it is so cute truly #im really bad at the hero mission in space gadget but sonics dialogue is sooooo cute in that..#he's just having fun racing with his friend again 🥺#shadow is having the most intense and miserable experience of his short life and sonic is just like yaayayayay video game yaaay!#anyway. return of my adventure-era sonic design. even tho shth canonically takes place A While after sa2 #whatever. they r the same to me

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koboldfactory · 1 month

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what do you think of your dragon sona in a business shirt and tie suit ?