#i hate saying this because it sounds so conceited

[teyamsatan]

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕍𝕀𝕀𝕀: 𝕊𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝔽𝕠𝕣 ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕄𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕄𝕪 ℂ𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕕

pairing: Neteyam x (f)Omaticaya!reader

synopsis: In the wake of your separation, your mind is made as to the future of your rocky relationship with your once best friend, now best enemy, Neteyam.

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, aged-up! Neteyam/Reader, enemies-to-lovers, angst (mentions of violence, battle, blood, death, confrontation, admission of feelings), strong language.

wc: 6.7k words

a/n: besties, it brings me sorrow to say that monster in me has come to an end, and i can only hope you enjoy and have enjoyed this story, that turned from a silly little fic about two people who hate/crave each other into so much more than i ever envisioned. i really struggled writing this chapter, and i hope i don't disappoint with the ending, and i hope you like it. what i can say, is that this is not the end for Neteyam and Vi, as I have at least one more oneshot in mind to showcase their ... progress (hehe). having smut in this chapter didn't feel right to me, but it doesn't mean it's not coming ;) pun intended.

as always, thank you so much for reading and engaging with my stories and with me, it means more than I could ever express into words. I love you besties, and i hope you stick around for a long time, because i will x

na'vi compendium: txepvi  - spark, oare - moon, nawm - great, tsakarem - tsa'hik in training, atokirina - seed of the tree of souls, sa'nok - mother, senpu - affectionate term for dad

lightly proof read, if you see something wrong, no you don't

: ̗̀➛ previous chapter (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series playlist (x)

Break my soul in two looking for you But you're right here

“Are you sure, ma ‘ite? You know we wouldn’t force you into anything, but… please think it through. Eywa’s vision was clear, and it showed you two together. Eywa is never wrong, you know this.”

You thought about it, barely able to look into Mo’at's beautiful, sagacious eyes that always felt like they could see through you, through deception and conceit, and get to the soul of problem, the inner core of your amalgamation of conflicting, earth-shattering emotions, covered by a crust of barely-there composure, ready to erupt with any slight friction of the tectonic plates of your heart. You thought about last night, about his words, that still rang in your ears in a muffled cacophony of sounds you were trying your hardest to drown out, that you were scared would end up drowning you, instead. 

“I loved you, Vi.I fucking loved you. You were everything to me. And you broke me.” 

“Even the smallest similarity killed me, reminded me how much I hate you, how much I want to, how much I don't. I've wanted to hate you so much, I tried so hard, but you were in every dream, in every fantasy, you haunted me my whole life."

You thought about his actions, about what drove them, about how, at the end of the day, they were the same driving forces that you acted on. Hurt. Betrayal. Jealousy. Fear. You thought about your actions. How poison crept beneath your skin and pooled in your heart and pumped it through your whole bloodstream, until it was all there was, until it blinded you, and how he started this, but you continued it. 

How his fault was indifference, and yours was madness that only he had the power to force out of you. You thought about his parents, and how his dad was now your dad, and how hard you fought for hearing the magic words: “we couldn’t have done it without you, kid”. Those words, and the “you’re welcome” that followed, became as necessary to you as the air you breathe. It may have started, this need to gain Jake’s approval, as a way to get a rise out of Neteyam, your best attempt at getting him to lash out at you, scream and yell, anything but the horrible silence he ordained you with, but in time, it had less to do with the boy and more to do with you, with how his dad reminded you of your own, how the words of praise and admiration made the ones you were used to, that you’d never hear again, echo through the your tent and through the forest, hidden in between the whistles and sonorous trills of birds, but never forgotten, not to you. 

You thought about his specious assumptions, and your words, and how, despite what you spat at him last night, they weren’t the whole truth. You did tell Jake that you didn’t want to mate with him, but not out of a lack of love or desire. No, the thought of one day being one with the boy who shone light through the broken cracks of your soul every day after your parents died, the boy who himself shone brighter than any star or sun or galaxy out there in the vast unknown, the boy who challenged you, and annoyed you, and loved you, and got you… it made you happy. It made butterflies flutter in your stomach and tingle, it made a fuzzy feeling gather in your brain and haze your mind until it was full of nothing but misty reveries, of a life beyond your wildest dreams and fantasies, of night flights and battles won together, of family found and family kept. 

You told Jake what you did because your dreams couldn’t happen while you were pushed to the side and made to undertake the duties of a Tsakarem, they couldn’t happen if you had to forsake your talents and an integral part of yourself. You thought that, by saying no, you could make your dad proud, you could make Jake proud… make him proud. You thought that by becoming the warrior you knew you could one day be, you could help him… take away some of the burden that you knew he was shouldering all by himself, that of the eldest son, the responsible child, the prodigy of the clan. More than anything, you wanted to be worthy of him and of his love. That’s why you said no. 

If I can't relate to you anymore Then who am I related to?

But now, it was all wrong. Your love, your hate, your history and your future, everything you’ve done, everything you should have done. It was all wrong. O’i’en was right, you realised. You held onto this broken relationship, this hopeless promise of a mateship, not because you wanted revenge, but because you wanted him… in any way you could get him. Your undefeated stubbornness, and the war that left too many collateral victims for you to ever be able to sleep at night again, led to scars in your soul no one could ever fix, that you’d have to mend yourself in time, that you never could while in an arrangement you should have declined to begin with. It was finally time… 

“I’m sure, ma Tsa’hik.”

…time to say goodbye to the child you knew - the one you were, the one he was, and the love that took too much of both of you, the one that turned to ashes in your mouth. 

And if this is the long haul How'd we get here so soon?

Neteyam’s confusion was normal for the dazed, quiet astir he found himself in after just waking up. What wasn’t normal, however, is how the confusion didn’t evaporate once the blurry haze disappeared, but only deepened with the sight, or lack thereof, awaiting him in the green, luscious clearing he felt like he was reclaiming, like it could slowly be his… both of yours again. He didn’t feel this way now, in this place that all of a sudden felt barren and cold, like an endless tundra, like his soul felt. You were gone. 

In a way, it was to be expected. In some way, Neteyam knew last night was a just a fluke, a heady combination of overflowing of intense emotions that were too intense to be contained, that had to be released in the only way you both knew how, in the only way that would push the hurt aside and leave only a mess of denial and pleasure in its wake, because an orgasm is always easier to deal with than the pain that came with the cathartic act of confession, of owning up to your mistakes, of talking through years of hurt pent up in your already broken soul. You both did what you did best, so Neteyam shouldn’t be surprised. And yet he was. 

He wasn’t only surprised, he realises. No, he would be happy if that was all he was. Neteyam was angry. Angry and seething, as he was, he picked himself up from the floor, the smell of you still imbedded in his nostrils, your cum still on him as he took in his naked form, before tightening his loincloth over his hips, a task easier said than done with the furious slashing of his tail whose movements he couldn’t control, no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t know why such intense, overpowering anger was washing over him in tidal waves that were crushing his spirit under their monstrous weight, removing any reason from his mind, any sane reasoning or critical thinking. Why would he expect you to stay? You didn’t owe him anything, and this changed nothing. Nothing’s different. Neither of you admitted to anything, neither were able to admit to the fault either of you had in the unraveling of your relationship, in the actions that lead to death and hurt, to pain and loss. So why did it matter?

"The first step in solving any problem is recognising there is one, brother. The sooner you admit your feelings, the sooner you can work towards fixing your broken relationship."

Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?

With a sigh, Neteyam made his way back to the village, hoping that once he saw you, all the answers would come rushing back to him, would make it perfectly clear as to the path he was supposed to take, the words that he was supposed to utter, which puerile confessions were better said and which better left gathering dust in the back of the rooms of his heart. When he saw you, he'd finally know...

The day was in full swing in the clan, as people were making the final preparations for the funeral processions that would take place once eclipse settled in. Neteyam winced at the mourning families, at the bodies laid on the floor, covered in leaves and flowers, in the way they'd remain, until their flesh would return to Eywa, return to the nature from which they were born, allowing for growth that would keep the community going. One life ends, another begins. That saying was as much part of him as any organ, any physical aspect of him was. That saying was the dogma of the Omaticaya, of the Na'vi as a whole. He knew it by heart, its meaning coursed through his veins, and yet, it didn't lessen the blow. It didn't stop the hurt and the pain of having to watch it, having to know to some extent, he was at fault for it.

He expected to see you by now, lending a hand, despite the fact you should be taking it easy - you were never one for rule following, and although you got better in time, especially after your blooming relationship with O’i’en, who, despite it killing Neteyam to admit, was a positive influence in your life, some things about you would never change. The need to help, to be of use, to prove your worth, the need to feel like you’re making an effort, the need to hide your pain deep inside yourself, no matter how hard life was grinding you down, it was intrinsic to you in a way you would never be able to shake. And so Neteyam was sure he'd see you here. But he didn't. Instead, he saw his mother, spotting him from across the patch of forest they called home, eyeing him intently, with a blend of emotions Neteyam couldn't quite place. There was a heaviness to her, which he couldn't say he felt surprised about, but the twinge of fear and pity in her eyes, clearly directed at her eldest son, was something he didn't expect to see, and it scared him. Without any thought, he tracked towards his family's tent, unable to break his gaze from her, whose own fell to the floor, before turning away and entering the home, the flaps swinging closed behind her, the sudden chasm between them putting a knot in Neteyam's throat. Something was wrong. What else could be wrong?

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering, "Where did my baby go?"

"Sa'nok, nawm sa'nok, Oel Ngati Kameie."

His grandmother's permanent serious expression was somehow even more pronounced now, and Neteyam noticed the signs of weariness and exhaustion clear on her beautiful face. Still, with her most arduous attempt at a smile, she brought her curled fingers to her forehead and extended them in her grandson's direction, before giving her daughter a pointed look.

"What's going on?"

"Ma 'itan..."

The knot in his throat descended until it hit his stomach with a heavy splash, the feeling of dread nearly knocking him over.

"Mother, just tell me. Just please... tell me."

"She... she broke the engagement, Neteyam. What happened between you?"

The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go Sorry for not making you my centrefold

The river that the Omaticaya used as a source of water, and nourishment, and entertainment, and hygiene, the one that was normally bustling with life and energy, was barren and deserted as you settled on its bank, leg mindlessly swinging back and forth in the cold, clear water. You focused on the way it felt, the flawless flow, as it touched your skin and how every once in a while, fish would nibble at your feet, and you were almost relieved that at least some creatures still looked at you like you were still alive. You didn’t feel like it, not anymore.

You didn’t feel like a Na’vi, like a person, more like a mix of pure grief and guilt that managed to swallow you whole, leaving just a cloud of misery in its wake. You knew you shouldn’t be here. There were better, more important things for you to do. Help was needed in the village, you needed to prepare for the ceremony, you needed to claim your ikran, wash her, cover her in the leafy shroud she would spend the rest of time in. You had to say goodbye. You owed her a proper funeral. You owed her a goodbye. And yet, your body was paralysed on the edge of this river, staring into nothingness, trying to find a way to make your mind, which was simultaneously empty and full of thoughts, each one more horrifying then the next, work and move your muscles, do the thing it always does where adrenaline takes over and makes you focus, makes you try, makes you brave. There was nothing now, not anymore.

Your ears twitched as the shrubbery rustled with movement behind you, and your scrunched nose relaxed as it picked up Jake's scent. Your coiled, immobile tail found its place nestled next to your thighs, and when you turned your head, you noticed your surrogate father, the mighty Olo'eyktan, dressed in ceremonial garbs, the red, feathery vest contrasting nicely against his dark, azure skin. You couldn’t look in his inquisitive, shocked eyes, that knew you to your core, the eyes that always looked at you with love and care, with pride and encouragement, that now you assumed would be filled with sorrow and disappointment, so you settled on looking at his headpiece, the imposing, oval stone a much more manageable sight right now.

"Kid..."

His feet picked up pace, the same way your heart did in your chest, and you let out a shocked, pained gasp as he kneeled by your side and took your body into his, his hand finding the back of your head and you melted in his embrace, listening to his erratic heartbeat that mirrored yours, that you focused on like a hymn, that pulled you out of stupor, and you watched as your tears stained his chest, before your hands found his back, tightening your grip on him.

"Sempu..."

"Shh, kid. It's ok. You're ok... we're gonna be ok."

Over and over, lost again with no surprises Disappointments close your eyes And it gets colder and colder When the sun goes down

Neteyam was trying to calm himself as he was pacing the floor of his grandmother's tent, so much so the rugs were now matted and torn. He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe you. After everything, everything that has happened, everything you've both done... after losing O'i'en and Oare, after destroying his relationship and all his plans for the future, after promising him you would never undo this arrangement, after threatening him you'd both get to burn together... after everything... how could you do this?

The anger was all-consuming as it was lighting his every nerve on fire, as it was playing back, in his mind, over and over, your relationship, your rise and fall, the fall that never seemed to end, no matter how hard he wished for it to end, no matter how hard he didn't. He thought about how broken you both were now that the the fall did come to its unsightly end, and how it left you both in pieces, in sharp shards that found each other's flesh to dig into and lacerate, unable to stop yourself from falling apart around each other even at the bitter final act. He thought about how he should be relieved. It was all he wanted, right? You out of his life. He could go back to the girl, the girl he didn't love, no matter how hard he tried, to the life he was once envisioning for himself. If you truly gave up on him, on your quest for revenge, he should be happy. All he's wanted for the past seven years was you out of his life, right? If all you had and all you were was over... if the nightmare was over, that meant a new dawn would be breaking soon. He should want it... right?

And maybe he would want it, maybe he would be happy about it, if only there wasn't this intense hatred blinding him to the truth of the matter, to the potential this new revelation opened up in his life. Because fuck, things changed. Things changed when Oare died, when his sister talked to him, things changed when you woke up, when he found you in the clearing... things changed when you slept together. He told you things, things he didn't even know he felt, but he did feel, as you came around him, as he saw your face writhing in pleasure when you left scratches down his back. He saw your eyes as they locked with his, and in your eyes, for just a moment, there were confessions that maybe you didn't speak out loud, but maybe you didn't have to.

And then... you just... left. You left him, abandoned him without a word, or an explanation, without as much as a disdained "good riddance, asshole". How could you have done this, after everything that's happened? After everything, Neteyam felt like he deserved at least that... or anything, but not this. Not the silence, not to be told about it by his mother. He deserved more than this.

His legs stilled in place and his stomach dropped as your words, the words you shouted at him yesterday kept rushing back to him like the river after a storm, unrelenting and powerful, ready to knock out everything in their wake.

“You keeping your mouth shut and going about your life as if your life wasn’t impermeably connected to mine was what fucking hurt me, Neteyam!"

"You saying nothing, doing nothing, acting like I didn’t exist, like I was just a toy you outgrew, that was worse than anything I could have ever fucking done to you, don’t you understand that?"

"Do you understand that you abandoned me? I was everything to you, and you just acted like that meant nothing at all."

Fuck.

Do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Jake." you tried to contain the cries, you did, but as he held you tightly to his chest, caressing your almost-dry braids and cooing patiently in your ear, it was harder than you could manage in the moment. The sobs were loud and coming out in broken hiccups, but you couldn't find it in you to care anymore, and he didn't seem to mind.

"I did this, we did this... Neteyam and I, this stupid war, all the fights, and the battles, and the never-ending need to make the other pay... and all for nothing! All for something he heard, something I said, that I-... If he just asked, I could have told him, I could have explained, I -... fuck!"

"Shh... hey, look at me, kid." His fingers found your chin, that he raised, despite your silent protests, and you were taken aback by his own tears falling down his face, by the unending depth of emotion behind his beautiful, yellow irises, that reminded you a little too much of his eldest son.

"This wasn't your fault, baby girl. It was mine."

"I love you, you know? So much. I look at you, and I see Neytiri, and I see myself. I see your parents, I see this clan, that I chose to be a part of, that I'm grateful for every day of my life. This clan, this family I have, that includes you, this planet... it saved me from myself, from a broken path. And the thought of losing you, losing any of it... it haunted my every dream, it turned into a recurring nightmare that kept me up at night. So I did the only thing I knew how - I tried to mould you into the soldiers I knew you needed to be in order to survive the humans and their poisoned reach, their need to hurt and kill."

You were in awe of his monologue, that you didn't want to - you couldn't - interrupt. You needed to hear this, and he needed to speak it, and so you waited, and listened, and he spoke and cried.

"I thought I was doing the right thing. A father protects. But I failed to recognise how that would affect you, how much the pressure I put on your shoulders, on Neteyam's shoulders, would come to hurt you, to push you to this point. My words and my actions were what drove you both to the dark place you find yourselves in right now, and I'm sorry."

You tightened your grip on him yet again, and let his words sink in you, pass through you. You let them succumb you, like the water in the lake as it took over your body, until you were submerged in it, until you were a different person as you emerged back into the world.

"I'm still learning, kid. We all are... We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes hurt and they cut and they fester, sometimes they are big enough to take over your whole world and eclipse any light shining through. But... people deserve a second chance. People deserve to be able to make amends, to fight to show you they can do better. And I hope I'm one of those people. And I hope Neteyam is, too. I think you two were meant for each other - I saw it every day of your lives, from when you were best friends to best enemies, you completed each other, complemented each other. You made each other better... and worse. But maybe that shows that one of you can't exist without the other. That maybe the connection you have is more than anything life can throw at you, or that you can throw at each other. Maybe it's time for both of you to get a second chance."

Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

Neteyam felt dizzy and nauseous, a sudden need to anchor himself onto the ground more necessary than he could ever remember feeling. Seven years worth of mistakes came rushing over him, ready to swallow him whole. Is this how you felt? This whole time... this is how you felt? So insignificant and small, so used... abandoned, angry and heartbroken... just how he felt. He made you feel this way, he made 12 year old Vi, the person he loved most in the world, feel this way. You left him, just as he left you, and now Neteyam finally could see, finally understood, that you were right. It was worse. The not knowing, the self-doubt and guilt, the feeling like you were nothing more than a toy, ready to be outgrown, knowing you were disposable to someone you thought loved you... it was worse.

He knew he had to find you, he had to, he had to talk to you, he had to tell you all the words his heart was begging him to shout of the top of his lungs, begging him to stop holding inside of it, for it was done keeping his secrets, for all it wanted was to feel again, to dream again... to love again. But it would have to wait. Just a little bit more, it would have to wait, because right now, Oare needed him. Oare would be put to her eternal rest today, and before the ceremony, she still needed to be cleaned and prepared, and while you might not feel capable of facing such a challenge right now, he could do this for you. This he could do, and would, because he needed to, and he knew, deep down, you did, too.

It took a long time, but near eclipse, the ikran was ready, and Neteyam felt a pang of hurt taking in her beauty, so ethereal and extraordinary, so much like the person who came to call her a sister. The person whose voice stopped Neteyam dead in his tracks and sent shivers down his spine.

“Neteyam…?” 

When he turned, and saw you, eyes puffy and red, filled with tears that weren’t the first you were shedding, based on the deep stains on your beautiful face, your chest heaving in panted, uneven breaths, released in soft, sorrowful sobs, he couldn’t help in himself, and with a few steps, he closed the distance between you and enveloped you in a tight, rib-cracking hug, one that, to his unending relief, you reciprocated immediately. 

“She’s dead, Neteyam… she’s really dead. I wasn’t there for her and now she’s dead.” You were sobbing in his chest, and he tried not to let the moment overwhelm him, this moment that felt more like dreams he’s had than the reality he had to live through, ones in which you came to him, and let your guard down, one in which he got to comfort you instead of bring you pain, ones in which you were his and he was yours, one in which things were good, and pure, like you were. 

Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line, by the gold clock? Did I leave you hanging every single day?

“I’m surprised you’re still alive after today’s training. Dad’s not going easy on you, is he?” Neteyam looked at the little girl, laying on the ground, chest heaving, with eyes of steely determination he doesn’t think are like anything he’s ever see before, and how the tears that pooled in your eyes refused to drop, no matter how oversaturated they got. The tears just didn’t drop. He watched intently, determined to see the first one fall, determined to prove to himself that a girl who’s never trained before, a girl who just lost her parents, a girl who was not from a family of warriors, like his was, wouldn’t be able to withstand the pressure that his father never failed to put on him, and he now seemed intent on putting on you.

But much to his surprise, the tears never did fall. Instead, you got up, canines sunk in so deeply, the blood was pouring out of your lower lip - anything to stop the sob of pain he knew you wanted to let out. When you were on your feet again, you ran your hands over your bloodied knees, where the gashes were still spilling red liquid from when you fell off a cliff and scraped them, before shaking them dry. Neteyam watched in awe as the blood dripped from your fingers and into the ground, and all of a sudden, he was left behind, your footsteps echoing through the forest as you made your way back to the practice arena.

“Guess he knows I can take it.” 

Were you standing in the hallway with a big cake? Happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray? A universe away

"Have you ever considered, Neteyam, that I'm not your enemy? I see you, waiting for me to fail, praying that your dad... and my dad, were wrong about me. Have you ever considered I could help? That if I do this, you don't have to be alone anymore?"

Neteyam's eyes went as wide as his mouth as you turned to face him once more, a soft smile on your face and crinkles around your eyes, that almost hid the soft tears that dropped down your cheeks and mingled with the blood as they reached your lips, and he felt his heart skip a beat, and then two, then three... What was happening to him?

"I'm alone, too. I'm all alone. And I'm scared... of being alone. Of ending up alone. And I think you are, too. So maybe... maybe we can be alone together."

Almost as if controlled by a disembodied presence, Neteyam's body started moving on its own accord until it reached you, until his hand was in your extended one, a peace symbol you both learnt from the once-human Olo'eyktan.

“Friends?”

“Friends.”

And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium I think that I forgot to say your name

“I know… I’m so sorry, Vi.” His hands found your face, that he angled upwards to look into your eyes, holding you tightly, as if letting go meant letting go forever, and he couldn’t, not anymore, not until he told you what he needed to say. Your warm breath brought life into him as he inhaled it, and the courage given by the revelations that loomed over him his entire life, but were only manifested today, it was enough to speak the words nestled in his chest. 

“I’m so sorry… not just about Oare, but about everything. Vi, you were right. I did this, I started this. I should have… I should have trusted you, and confided in you. I should have given you the respect you deserved, the consideration of telling you what hurt me. You deserved the chance to explain your point of view, and I took that from you. What you said hurt me… what my dad said hurt me, but… you were my best friend, and I should have come to you. I should never have let you go, Vi. I’m so sorry.”

The words you've waited for what seemed like your whole life opened the dam of your soul, so carefully put together over so many years, now broken as it flooded your whole being with the full force of the sorrow and relief you've buried so deep, you didn't even know if you'd be able to ever make it surface again. But there it was, and his words brought your own forth, and with Jake's words in mind, with lessons of forgiveness and second chances learnt, you spoke, hoping he'd listen, hoping these words could undo at least some of the hurt you put the other through.

“I’m sorry, too. Teyam, I’m so sorry. After losing my parents, you, this family, were all I had. You were everything to me, and I came to rely on you so much, I couldn’t envision life without you. When you left, it broke something in me. It brought back feelings I was yet to deal with, ghosts that haunted me in the middle of the night, insecurities that continue to plague me to this day, fears of being unlovable, of being too much, of not being enough. I have always been too harsh, too guarded, I have always answered every problem with my fists first and my mind second. I’ve never known how to deal with grief, and so I did it in the only way I knew how - by turning it to anger. By making you the enemy. Every time your absence hurt, I needed my presence to hurt you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being cruel, I’m sorry for taking it too far. I’m so sorry.” 

It was necessary, this moment that was long overdue, and although you were sorrowful of the fact it took losing so much for you to realise it, you were grateful that did come in the end. You were happy that, as you moved your head slightly to rest your ear against his chest, listening to his slowly-calming heartbeat, you felt safe again in his embrace while you finally took in your sister’s body, that he spent more time that you could even conceive getting her ready for the ceremony, when you didn't. You were grateful that you didn’t have to go through it by yourself, but with the one person who’s known Oare just as long as you, who’s loved her just as much as you loved Seze, the person who despite it all, knew you to your core - your biggest dreams, your biggest worries, your biggest fantasies, your biggest fears. And here it was, the biggest fear, manifested in front of you like a sleep-paralysis demon, that you had no choice but to brave through, but at least, right in this moment, you didn’t have to brave it alone. 

"Thank you. For taking care of her while I couldn't."

"You don't have to thank me. So many things might have changed between us, but this... this never will."

The ceremony was as hard on you as you expected, and by the end, you were so spent, both physically and emotionally, you knew you were in dire need of a nap, one that didn't end in the morning, and maybe not for a few good days. You looked over at Neteyam, who kept his distance, allowing you to be caged in between Lo'ak and Kiri's bodies while you mourned, but who helped you lower Oare into the tree nook where she would lay forever, shedding silent tears as he placed an atokirina on her, his hand finding your lower back as you both said your final goodbyes.

One day, you'd find another ikran. One day, you'll be able to fly again, and think of flying as the beautiful, freeing experience you have come to rely on for your sanity and happiness for the last 7 years. One day. But not today. And not for a long time. Oare made your life special, and worth living. Flying meant what it did to you in no small part because of her. Her thoughts, peaceful and serene, a nice balance to your own, kept you steady and focused in battled, mid flight. Not being able to return the favour would be something you'll have to deal with in time, but as you felt your entire family's presence surrounding you, enveloping you in love and care, as you felt Neteyam's lips make contact with the side of your head in a gesture you've known him capable of, just not with you, you knew, one day, you'll be okay again.

'Cause we were like the mall before the internet It was the one place to be The mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams

It was hot and humid in the forest as you trained - something about the deforestation brought about by the humans made the weather feel hotter, or so the human scientists told you. Either way, you felt as though you were inhaling water instead of air as you tried to catch your breath, the last drill always the hardest in the routine, always the one that broke most Na’vi who were unfortunate enough to be considered good enough to be trained directly by Toruk Makto himself… but not you. You did it, feeling fire in your lungs and sweat mingling with the blood spilling from various cuts from across your body and exacerbating the sting you felt prickling like needles throughout your whole being. Each muscle felt like it was being split in half, but you couldn’t care less. Not now, not when you were so close to beating Neteyam, not when victory would feel so sweet, not when you would be able to collapse in the dirt and pass out the moment it was over. 

In the few months since the ceremony, life was more about healing for you than it had ever been. It was a nice change of pace, the peace, one you haven’t known since your parents were still alive, and for the first time in your life, you felt… almost whole. There were still things missing of course - your parents, who you kept in thoughts and prayers every day, and your sister, who you swore Eywa reincarnated in your new ikran, whose thoughts reminded you too much of hers for it to be mere coincidence. 

“Vi, you better focus if you want to have any chance at beating me.”

You scoffed, and watched as he flew past you, not before sending a small wink your way, that made you lose your footing for a second, before quickly composing yourself and continuing.

“Don’t get cocky, mighty warrior.”

As far as your relationship with Neteyam went, it took a long while, but in time, you managed to mend what once seemed unmendable and earn each other’s trust once more. It was an uphill battle, most days, but you were grateful to have your best friend back, and to be able to finally meet the Neteyam everyone knew and loved, the one that was kind and considerate, funny and charming, helpful and loving to everyone around him. You were grateful that now, that included you, too. Your mateship was never brought up again, not to the family, that knew you needed this time, and was happy to let you have it. The possibility of it was no longer looming over you like a threat, but more like a golden aura of inevitability that you wouldn’t mind giving into, once the pieces were soldered back together through the mutual effort you were both willing to put into to rebuild both your broken hearts. One day he'd be yours and you'll be his… 

But not today, as he beat you, with just barely a split second to spare.

“Ah, that’s too bad… maybe one day. One day, you’ll beat me at this, and on that day, Vi, I will fall to my knees in eternal servitude.” 

When you kicked him in the shin, with all your might, and watched as he fell on his knees in front of you, you smirked, the grin wild and unwavering as you circled him, lifting his chin with your index finger and willing him to look in your eyes, mischievous and filled with amusement. 

“Hmm, look! You’re already on your knees, Teyam. Now… about the eternal servitude…”

You had no time to react as he grabbed your wrist in his hand and pulled you towards him, until you both fell on the ground, and when he kissed you, you melted, like you normally did in the few times it has happened since that first time, in your clearing. You promised you’d take it slow, but in your defence, you were only Na’vi, and this was, in fact, a lot slower than how you wanted to take it. 

You let his fingers roam your body and rejoiced at the way his lips were warm and skilled as they moved on yours, his tongue tracing your bottom lip before you parted them, allowing yourself the pleasure of this kiss, that meant so much to you, that you will never ever take for granted again. 

“You taste fucking amazing, tsxepvi. Maybe next time, if you apologise and behave, you’ll actually get to cum.” 

You both laughed in the kiss, and with a mental note to yourself to apologise and behave tonight, you knew you were ready to take the next step in this new life, one which neither you or Neteyam would ever have to brave alone ever again. When your lips parted, and he got up from the ground with a soft groan, images of your childhood flashed before your eyes, warm and beautiful, once more, as he stretched out a hand for you. You took it gratefully, allowing him to help you rise, making a silent promise to yourself to commit to more risings than falls, for as long as you could help it.

"Friends?"

"Friends."

The sight that flashed before me was your face Over and over, when the sound goes down

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[lookismlover]

Goo Kim x Reader: The Fake Date

You had always been infatuated by Gun since the day you met him, the day your father told you he was going to be your bodyguard. 

Whether it was with his fighting prowess, that bleak and mature, yet nasty attitude he had, or the overall mysteriousness he had enveloped himself in. You couldn’t put your finger on why, but you were. 

It had been almost 2 years since he was made your bodyguard, and even though you spoke every day and he was around you enough to see your tells when you were upset, angry or scared you still felt like you didn’t know him at all. 

By this point you realized that the so called “infatuation” you had with him had turned into you liking him, you didn’t know how but it had and yet Gun didn’t even bat an eye at you. 

He was there to protect you, not to be romantically involved with you, not in the slightest and yet you wanted him to be, even at the very least, you wanted him to look at you as a potential romantic partner.

Even though you knew this was never going to happen it was a thought that you kept locked away at the back of your mind because after all, even though you felt so close to him, you knew you were still so far away.

However there was one thing or should I say person that brought you too close together in any situation -  that was your shared annoyance and hatred for Goo.

You too also had that same annoyance and hatred for that yellow headed bastard.

Ever since you met him, you had never liked him. 

I mean what was there to like about him, he was obnoxious, self-obsessed, arrogant, conceited and overall just a money hungry pig.

You hated it whenever you would have to be in the same vicinity as him, let alone talk to him.

You hated that he was your fathers bodyguard and you had to put up with seeing him.

But what you hated more was that you had concocted a plan even you, yourself, hated in order to even try and get a smidge of affection, potentially even a straight up confession out of Guns’ mouth. 

That plan was to fake date Goo and make Gun jealous.

It was a plan that even you were willing to go through just to get Gun to notice you in a romantic sense. 

Was it something you were proud of coming up with - No.

Was it something you wanted to do to potentially get a reaction out of Gun - Maybe.

Was it petty and distasteful that you had even thought about this and were going to act upon it - Yes.

And so with everything you had thought up and concocted it was time to put your plan into action, the next time you were seeing Goo was tomorrow and so it was time to act.

__________

You wake up to the sound of your alarm. That ear piercing sound that aggravates you every morning. You always reach over and turn it off so you don’t have to hear it but again and again, it goes off.  

You soon get up and go do your daily morning routine like always, when you thought about last night, how you were going to act on your plan. When you remembered this fact, you could start to feel your palms sweating and feel heat rising to your face, when you hear a knock at your bedroom door. 

You come out of the bathroom and head to the door to open it when you hear an all too familiar voice behind the door, it was Gun. Gun was at your bedroom door at 9 in the morning. You open the door and see him standing there, already in some designer suit, his hair swept back with what you think is too much gel and those black sunglasses of his. You just look at him for a moment before he breaks the silence. “Hurry up and get ready, your father wants me to take you to get something for tonight” Gun says with the stern way he always does. You go away to say something, but you're too groggy to even think or say a snarky comment back to him and so you just oblige and go get ready. 

Within 20 minutes you're ready for the day but you’re still not eager to respond to anything anyone has to say, not even Gun. You leave the room to see Gun nowhere in sight and so you just think for a moment before realizing that he's probably outside, having a cigarette waiting for you. You walk through the house getting to the front door and long behold he is in fact there having a cigarette leaning against the car in the driveway waiting for you.

“Finally ready, huh?” he questions.

“Yeah” is the only word you're able to say in your still half asleep state, even though it’s been about an hour since you’ve gotten up. You see Gun slightly smirk before he puts his cigarette out and goes to open the passenger side door for you. 

You take this as a silent way of him saying ‘let’s go’ without using any words since you clearly can’t be bothered having a conversation with him. He gets in the driver's side and starts up the car while you sit with your head against the window, almost a sign to Gun that you don’t want to talk and that you’re too tired to even keep up a conversation. That and the fact that you’ve only given him a blank and measly stare at your bedroom door and a simple ‘Yeah’ when he tried to talk to you. 

You do in fact doze off before he even leaves the driveway of your father’s house. You wake up to Gun shaking your arm, you look around to see that you’re outside of a dress shop which you suspect you’re going into with Gun. Your suspicions turn out to be true when he says ‘let’s go then’.

You’re in the shop looking about while Gun sits on a couch, leaning his head back as if it's a chore that he’s even here right now, but after all he is your bodyguard. You pick out a few dresses and take them to the fitting room, each time coming out to try and get Gun’s opinion only to be met with a “mhm” or “just pick one” each time, without him even looking at what you put on. 

Until finally you find a dress that you really like. Not just one that you randomly picked out to hurry this up or a dress that a shop assistant picked out for you saying ‘this would look good on you’. 

It was a long black form fitting dress with a slit that ran up the right side of the leg, a corset type sternum piece that was sheer on the midriff and short off the shoulder sleeves that were barely connected to the dress but was still there. 

You take the dress and put it on in the fitting room with a pair of plain black heels that you also brought in and look in the mirror. You love the dress and the heels that you brought in on a whim look great with it as well. You go out and ask Gun what he thinks and again he just says the usual ‘mhm’ without him even looking. 

You’ve had enough of him being uninterested and so in anger you slightly shout “look at me, what you do think”. 

This definitely prompted a response from him since the first thing he did was pick his head off the back of the coach and look straight at you. You could see his eyebrows raised when he looked at you, but what you would have liked to know is if that was from your slightly over the top reaction or his reaction to the dress.

Without saying a word he stands up and walks over to you, you can’t see his eyes but it almost feels like he’s examining you in the dress. When he eventually gets to you he slightly looks down and then ushers for you to spin around, which you oblige. You slowly spin around while you can still feel Gun staring at you until you come almost face to face with him again, then he eventually speaks.

“This ones the winner I think” 

“You didn’t even look at the other ones, obviously you would say that this ones the winner” You say almost annoyed that he hadn’t been looking at you more. 

“I did look at the others, but there wasn’t much to look at with those” 

“Even if you did look at the others, what do you mean by there wasn't much to look at?” You ask, confused by what he means. 

“I mean those weren’t good enough for you, they didn’t suit you either, so this one really is the winner” He says almost sincerely, as if trying to pay you a compliment.

You can’t say anything to what he just said but you can feel your cheeks start to heat up a little bit and so you go back to the fitting room to take the dress and heels off before you go to pay for them. After leaving the shop Gun drops you back off at your home, saying that he has business to take care of and will see you at the event your father's hosting later that evening. 

You go into the house only to hear such an irritating voice coming from down the hall, it was Goo. You drop your bags in your room before going to look for the source of your sudden irritation. He was in your father’s study talking to him. You're about to walk away but hear the conversation between them both finish and then Goo walks out spotting you eavesdropping.

“Well well well…did ya have fun listening to the conversation princess?” He says sarcastically, knowing that him speaking to you is enough to get under your skin. But calling you princess however, he knows that will piss you off and it does. You scoff at him, not even saying a word before turning away until he speaks again. 

“Heyyyyy princess where are you going, lets talk for a bit” 

You stop walking when he says that only to turn and walk towards him. You get face to face with him, being a slight bit childish by putting your finger in his face before speaking to him.

“Stop talking to me and stop fucking calling me princess” You say angrily.

Goo starts to laugh which pisses you off and your anger bubbles over, you take your finger out of his face and go to slap him, but he just leans back and dodges it with ease.

“What was that for, I thought we were having a good conversation…princess” He says still smirking and lightly laughing while knowing that you're getting more and more pissed off.

“Fuck off dickhead” You say angrily, trying no to lash out again and turning around to walk away. But of course Goo couldn’t let you have the last word.

“Well either way i’ll see you later tonight” He says before putting his hands in his pockets and turning around to walk away.

You pause again while walking away to turn your head around to look at the yellow hair bastard that is now walking away from you. Again you scoff while you start to walk back to your room. 

You get back to your room and flop down on your bed laying on your back, hand over your face and thinking about your plan. After what’s just happened you don’t want to go through with it but you know that this is probably the only way to get Gun’s attention. 

But then your mind drifts back to the dress shop you were at earlier today, where Gun had hardly paid attention to you but complimented you in his own way. You start to think to yourself that this is a bad idea and that you don’t want to go through with it but at the back of your mind you know and you hate that you know this is the best opportunity you have to get Gun’s full attention on you, to get Gun to admit to himself that he might have any feelings at all towards you.

So even though you still think it’s a bad idea, all the thoughts that shoot through your mind get pushed aside with the realization that this is the only way to get Gun.

__________

It was now time for your fathers event, you had got ready, done your hair, makeup, the works.

You were now ready to try and have a civil conversation with Goo, or at least try your best to. 

You leave your room taking in a deep breath and walk towards the main area of your home where the event is taking place. 

By this point your stomach is in knots, not only thinking about what is going to happen when you eventually ask Goo about fake dating each other, but also what Gun might think of you.

You make your way to the end of the hall, where you take one more deep breath in rounding the corner before inevitably facing all of your father colleagues, work associates and other personnel at the event. 

You notice a few faces in the crowd and they notice you, you flash a quick smile at each of them before scanning the room again and spotting Gun. 

Gun was talking to your father, presumably about the ‘business’ he had to take care of earlier that day. Out of ethics however, you decide to go over and say hi to your father before trying to find Goo.

You make your way over, then you watch as your father slightly motions for Gun to quiet down as you’re arriving. You didn’t really care what they were saying to each other, you just wanted to find Goo and ask him if he would help - God, you never thought for a million years you would be saying that to yourself. Goo, helping you. HA it was actually laughable. 

You swiftly say hi to your father, Gun as well and then make your way to scan the crowd in search of the yellow headed prick himself. Eventually you spot him. Spending time, talking to the women that are there. I mean you say spending, but it is Goo, so you never know if the women are talking to him willingly or if he’s just harassing them. 

Whichever one it was you make your way over. Hesitantly, given the circumstances that happened hours before, you speak.

“Goo can i talk to you for a minute” you say in the nicest way you possibly can given that you hate him.

Goo turned around in utter shock that you were even talking to him.

“Wait me!?” “As in me, me, Goo Kim me” he says in sheer disbelief.

“Yes, you, can we talk for a second…away from everyone” you said semi-whispering so nobody could hear. After all, you were embarrassed that you were talking to him, let alone asking him to talk away from open ears and prying eyes.

Both of you exit the busy room as business associates of your father are crowding around him, talking about their next ideas and how great of a business man your father has become.

Unbeknownst to both of you though Gun saw you both leave, thankfully however he didn’t bother to follow you both.

He just thought it was odd that the both of you, of all people, would be talking and leaving a room together.

You decide it would be a good idea to drag Goo into the most secluded place you can think of, at least when it was so busy with your fathers’ business associates - his office.

After the two of you are alone, regret starts to come over you and then follows guilt.

You start to question why you're doing this, not only to yourself but also to Gun, the person you like. 

That is until Goo opens that obnoxious mouth of his. That regret and guilt soon turns to anger with the next two sentences that leave his mouth.

“Sooooo…are we here because you want a secret rendezvous and you want me to be the lover in this equation” he pauses for a second.

“If so I’m not interested in doing that with a bitch like you” he says bluntly and then smiles.

Already you can sense that this was a bad idea and that you're also about to explode with anger that he could even be so bold as to say that to you.

But then again, this is Goo and you hate him anyways with how self-obsessed he always is.

You calm yourself down as best you can in the situation and somehow you plaster a fake smile on your face, that even Goo can tell is fake before saying your next few words.

“No, i can assure you that’s not what this is” you deadpan.

“Oh, then what is this?” he asks, now slightly curious about the circumstances.

So, hesitantly, you tell him about what's going on with Gun and your feelings towards him, leaving out the part about fake dating the bastard himself in front of you until you hear what he has to say about all of this first. 

After you’re done explaining you look at Goo, no reaction is evident upon his face until an insane smile comes across it and then hysterical laughter follows. 

You let him laugh all he wants and then he eventually calms down, after 5 minutes or so, but he does calm down and his laughing spell comes to an end.

That is until he abruptly says.

“So why am I here then?”

“I’m not just here because you wanted someone to confide your feeling to and even then I’m not the one you want to confess to”

He wasn’t wrong, not in the slightest.

You ponder for a moment , trying to convince yourself that this was a good idea but in no sense of this was it a ‘GOOD’ idea.

Putting your pride aside and leaving your last shred of dignity that you still have left after telling Goo all of this, that so-called ‘secret’ that you keep hidden away.

You shakily say. 

“Well Gun doesn’t see me as a romantic partner, so-”

 He cuts you off before you can say anything else.

“Yeah no shit, he doesn’t see anyone like that, what do you want me to do about-”

“SHUT UP” you screamed.

This time you cut him off before he could finish.

You steady your voice as best you could before continuing on with what you were saying, while also answering his question that you screamed in the middle of.

“What I want you to do is…fake date me in order to make Gun jealous”

The room goes silent, even though it’s just you and Goo in it to begin with.

Even at that moment you could have swore that Goo had even stopped breathing in order to keep quiet.

But the silence was broken by the yellow headed bastard laughing. 

Not just hysterically laughing like before, but kackling, almost as if he was mocking you through his laughter this time.

“That’s the dumbest idea i’ve ever heard and i’ve heard some pretty dumb ideas in my time”

You think for a second before calculating your response.

“I know it is, but if you think about it and I mean honestly think about it, what is there to lose?”

You pause and then continue, answering your own question while Goo just lets you speak.

“You hate Gun and like to annoy him, I want to make Gun jealous or annoyed or feel some, ANY,  type of emotion towards me - at least the kind that’s visible”

“You don’t have to say yes and even I know that it’s a stupid idea but come on, what wrong with giving it a try, we would both get something out of it”

“Even if you say no though…DON’T… TELL…GUN…”

You stop talking to let Goo speak, then you hear footsteps coming towards you.

Not from outside but from inside, you hadn’t realized it but at some point during your monologue you had closed your eyes and tilted your head down.

The footsteps stopped about an arms length away from you and that’s when you looked up and opened your eyes to see Goo with a sinister grin on his face.

With the room still silent and you being slightly terrified of what was about to come out of his mouth, you back up, just slightly to be a little ways away from Goo. 

He just continues to move forward with that sinister smile of his.

You both continued to do this thing, Goo moving forward, you moving backwards, still not saying a word to each other. 

The only way you could describe it, was as though it was a weird game of cat and mouse.

But in this equation it felt like predator and prey. 

That is until you came to a stop, you had hit your fathers desk that sat almost at the back of the room, so you knew that by this point Goo had won this frivolous game of whatever it was. 

After hitting the desk however, Goo didn’t stop coming towards you - No, in fact he continued until you and him were practically face to face. 

Enough room to where your lips weren’t touching but you could feel his breath on your face and then he finally spoke.

“Sure”

With that, he spun on his heel and left the office leaving you wondering what he meant by sure.

Sure he’ll fake date you. Sure he won’t say anything to Gun. Sure…sure…sure. It played through your mind, again and again and again. Sure. What did he mean?. 

He left wondering what he meant and all you could continue to do was play the entire conversation in your mind. 

Still just repeating that one word over and over in your head, sure.

You soon snapped back into reality wondering how long you had been thinking about what he said, you also had to wonder how long you had been gone from the event. 

Then your mind started racing again when this time you really did hear footsteps coming from outside of the room. 

__________

The air around you felt heavy and thick. Almost like being crushed, due to the overwhelming anxiety that you could feel with each footstep getting closer and closer to the door. 

Eventually you snapped back into reality. Making a dash behind your father’s desk and sitting in his chair, legs crossed under the desk, elbows on the desk with your phone in hand trying to look busy and not like you just had an infuriating, yet confusing conversation.

Within a few seconds one of the doors swung open, you made it just in time and thank god you did because it was Gun. 

Gun looked confused at first, you however were worried at what he was confused about - Was it because you were behind your father’s desk? Was it because you were in your father’s office? Or was it because he saw Goo leave and now he’s seen you in here as well?.

Your mind raced with all the possibilities of what could be going through his mind, then he spoke and it was the one question you really didn’t want to hear.

“Was that Goo leaving here just now?” Gun asked in a stern yet confused manner.

“Actually yes, it was. Why do you ask?” You say somewhat smugly, yet anxious.

“I just never thought I would see the day when you and Goo would be talking, after all we both know how you feel about him.” Gun says in a monotone voice, now not sounding confused at all.

This was now your chance, your chance to see if he would react, your chance to see how far you could potentially push Gun.

You turned off your phone, putting it down next to a pile of papers and files on the desk. Then with the most sheepish grin you looked up at Gun and started to speak.

“Even if I do feel a certain way about Goo, why do you care if I see him or not. Hell this whole time I might have been pretending not to like him.” You spat. The words coming out as calmly yet as teasingly as you could make them.

Gun stood there expressionless, not saying a single word and not showing a single emotion, at least that was visible. After all, he still had his glasses on so you couldn’t see his eyes. 

But something felt off, more with Gun rather than anything. You thought that you had finally gotten a reaction out of him, but that’s not what it was. Someone was getting a reaction out of him but it wasn’t you. That's when you heard it, or rather heard him. Goo was laughing down the hallway, an audible cackle could be heard probably from miles away. 

Goo had heard the entire conversation that you and Gun were having. The only thing he could do was cackle at your little comment. 

You thought to yourself for a moment that this was the source of Gun's irritation and that off feeling you had and you would have been right, even though you wished it was your comment about Goo. But what you couldn’t predict was that the conversation between you and Gun, as well as his expressionless face, was going to change in a matter of seconds after what Goo had just opened his mouth and said.

What Goo said snapped you back into your conscious mind and it rang through your ears, like a blood curdling scream. Like the alarm you had to wake up to every morning. Like nails on a chalkboard or a fork running across a plate. Your confusion about what Goo meant earlier when he said ‘sure’ was gone within seconds and given that you came up with the idea in the first place, you just had to act like you knew it was coming when you heard it.

“Y’know she’s right, she really was pretending not to like me this whole time. Hell if you paid  closer attention to her, you would've known that we've been dating for about 2, no 3 months now.” That’s what Goo said, that’s why Gun’s expression changed after hearing it and that's what you had to play along with.

Gun now looked visibly irritated, glancing back and forth at you and Goo. Goo with that smug smirk of his and you with your now sheepish yet irritated grin. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. I mean come on who could?. You and Goo. Like he said, you both hated each other, at least that's what he thought.

The looks between you and Goo continued until Goo spoke again. “Come on, isn’t now the perfect time to tell him that we’re dating?” Goo said nonchalantly, almost trying to get a reaction out of both you and Gun.

“There is no way in hell, you both are going out with each other. Or as you say, ‘have been’ for the past 3 months like someone said.” Gun spoke in a sarcastic tone, looking directly at Goo when using the word someone and also using air quotes at the words have been.

Goo was away to speak when you stood up from behind the desk, cutting him off before a word could even leave his mouth.

“We actually have been and why are you so skeptical about it Gun?” You question, but also holding firm that you and Goo have had this ‘secret’ relationship going for the past few months. 

“Well, I just never thought that you two of all people would be a couple. But apparently I'm wrong.” Gun said in a now irritated voice.

“Guess you were.” You and Goo say in unison, looking at each other and giving each other a very odd small smile. Almost reassuring each other that, yes, you both were going to fake date each other and that, yes, you are definitely going to irritate Gun with this. 

Gun by this point was taken aback by what was transpiring in front of him, but still didn’t believe that yourself and Goo were dating. So that’s when he came up with a plan of his own. A plan that not even you thought about.

“Ok I’ll give you both the benefit of the doubt that you're actually going out with one another. But only if you kiss each other right now.” Gun said, smiling intently while looking back and forth between the both of you, to see and also to make sure that you both were in fact dating.

__________

While Gun was looking between you both chuckling to himself because he knew that you both were not dating. Your mind started to swirl with what you could do to convince him.

Until your mind started to short circuit when you felt Goo’s lips press against your own. The kiss then stopped and Goo pulled back hugging you and whispered into your ear.

“Just go along with it” That's all he said and that’s exactly what you did.

Goo kept his arm around you and then moved beside you. This was the point that you could see Gun’s face and god do you wish you could take a picture of it. 

Gun stood there with his eyebrows raised and mouth slightly ajar, not knowing what to make of the situation, or potentially being too embarrassed to do anything. 

Of course, Goo had to break the silence. “Well get what you wanted?” He asked in an almost mocking tone. 

Gun cleared his throat and then spoke in a mocking tone to both of you but mainly Goo. “Well I guess you are going out, who would have thought”. 

With that he turned and left. As soon as Gun was no longer in sight you pushed Goo off with as much force as you could, hoping he would fall, but he didn’t.

“What the fuck was that!” You say in a loud whispered scream. 

“Didn’t YOU want this? Weren’t YOU the one to ask me to fake date YOU and if so why shouldn’t we kiss to prove OUR relationship, fake or not?” The very few words that Goo then spoke left you speechless because you knew he was right. You knew you couldn’t argue with him and he knew this as well. 

With that Goo left and you sat down, thinking and imagining what had just transpired and what was going to happen if this continued.

Either way you didn’t want to stick around at the party any longer and so you went to your room and slept.

__________

The next morning you woke up before your alarm, got ready for the day and headed downstairs. Only to find that Goo and Gun were there with your father, speaking about something that seemed to be important.

You didn’t want to interrupt and as quietly as you could, you tried to tip-toe past them as they were sitting in the living room talking. Unbeknown to you however, you were the main topic of conversation and they did in fact see you, but didn’t call over to you.

You could feel the conversation stop, even only for a moment as you passed. Then as you entered the kitchen, you could hear the conversation pick back up to what it was like before. 

You subconsciously shut the door to the kitchen, not wanting to be rude and eavesdrop anymore than you tried to do yesterday (which obviously didn’t end well) and made some cereal for yourself. You sat at the island to let the conversation die before even thinking about going back to your room. 

The conversation however, didn’t die down, instead it got more heated. You could hear your father scream at Gun, then pause, then all his anger turned to Goo. You didn’t know what he was angry at, you could only assume that Goo did something stupid like he always did, and he pissed off your father to the max this time, but only if you knew what was really happening.

You looked at your phone to see what time it was, 9:48am. By this point you had finished eating, rinsed out the bowl, put it in the dishwasher and done a few other mundane tasks that you didn’t have to do, but done to kill time.

The conversation had been going since about 9:12am, potentially longer since you remember coming downstairs at that point. You gave yourself another 15 minutes or so before going back through the chaos. 

Then at 9:51am, your father called for you, anger clear in his voice. You didn’t know why, but you only assumed that it had something to do with Goo. You also assumed that the conversation was over and he was just calling you out, still stressed, to have a regular father daughter conversation. 

You made your way out of the kitchen eagerly to hopefully find out what was going on, or at least get a hint about what happened and you hoped that you could calm your father, even just a small amount. You always hated talking to your father when he was stressed or angry because you felt like you were getting the back end of what happened, but he always apologized to you, saying he didn’t mean it which you knew.

You still left eagerly, walking and contemplating what had happened and wondering how you could console your father this time, or what the conversation was going to be like. Until you saw Gun still sitting on the couch and Goo standing up somewhat defensively with his arms folded across his chest.

You looked from Gun, to Goo, to your father and saw that all of them were looking back at you. Gun looking stoic, yet smug. Goo looking amused as always, but at the same time, almost worried?. And your father looking at you with anger and hurt, almost as though he felt betrayed.

“What’s going on, is everything ok?” you ask.

“Please, sit” Your father said, in what you knew to be his angry voice, while he still tried to keep his cool.

You did as he asked and sat on the chair that was opposite Goo, facing your father, Gun visible at the right side of your peripheral.

“Again, what’s going on?” You ask, still confused.

Your father, still ignoring what you ask then says - “Goo, sit down as well please” practically commanding the room at this point. Goo, not wanting to anger your father further, does just that and sits.

Then your father starts the conversation, eventually answering your question almost immediately and you're shocked by what he asks and also how he found out so quickly.

“Is it true that yourself and Goo are in a…relationship?” Your father practically spat those words at you. Almost like he wanted to stab Goo and send you to your room, telling you not to come out until he permitted it. 

You look at your father in shock, again not believing how he found out so quickly. Then looking at Goo to see he was staring straight at you with a death stare. Not the kind of, I hate you one, that you're used to from him. But the kind that immediately sends chills down your spine, a way more accurate representation of a death stare. The kind that says, you caused this situation and I want to kill you, kind of death stare.

You look back at your father, fearful now of what was to come, not being able to say yes or no. But you were able to ask a question that almost confirmed what he was saying, fake relationship or not. “Who told you” was all you said.

“Gun did and thank god he did”

“Why is it so bad if she is going out with me?” Goo questions. While you just stare directly at Gun in shock.

“There is nothing wrong with you, but I don’t want you going out with my daughter” Your father says back. All while you just sit in silence looking directly at Gun, now giving him the same death stare as Goo had just given you.

Gun then chimes into the conversation, but mainly aiming the words directly at you. “I thought it would be best if your father knew what was happening between the both of you, after all I do still need to keep you safe” He says.

“And thank you for telling me Gun, you did the right thing here” Your father says, now somewhat calm at this point.

Gun just bows his head slightly, in a manner that’s clear to everyone to say that he doesn’t want to converse anymore, but also to say, you’re welcome, to your father.

“Even if I am going out with Goo, what’s so wrong about it?” You say, before you even realize that you were speaking again.

You could see that Goo was shocked by this, that you were somewhat…standing up for him?. Your father doesn’t say anything and instead just looks at you in surprise.

“Wasn’t it only yesterday that you hated Goo? And now you're in a relationship with him” Your father asks, as though he was surprised by the revelation that’s happening before him. That you might really be in a relationship with Goo.

You stay quiet for a moment. Then you quickly think back to the conversation yesterday between Goo, Gun and yourself. Realizing that Goo had said you both have been together for 3 months. 

Before you spoke you could see Goo getting ready to say something. Not sure what he was about to say, potentially that you both WEREN’T dating. You started speaking before he could even say one word. 

“Dad, we’ve been going out for 3 months already. I didn’t want to tell you because I was worried how you would react and clearly I was right in thinking that. We kept up the hating act because it was easier that way and it still does somewhat represent how we are with each other, even now. But please just accept it” You say this, not even recognising how sincere and calm that came across. Also while thinking you could be a great actress. 

Everyone now looked at you surprised, but the one person you looked at first wasn’t your father and it certainly wasn’t Gun at this moment in time. It was Goo and he was staring back at you in shock, but what also felt like appreciation for standing up for him.

The conversation continued for what felt like another 40 minutes, but was probably only 5. As your father continued to say that he wasn’t happy with what was going on, but would allow it as long as you were ‘happy’. 

He may or may not have threatened Goo about 10 or so times in the process, but allowed the “relationship” to continue as is. But by that point you had withdrawn yourself from the conversation that was happening before you, so many thoughts racing through your mind. But, there were two that were constantly sticking out at you. 

The first being that Gun might actually be getting jealous. Jealous enough to go to your father. Sure he might say it’s because it’s his duty to protect you, but you could sense that wasn’t the case.

And the second being that you couldn’t shake the feeling that dating Goo, fake or not, might not be such a bad thing. It might actually be fun…nice even?.

__________

After everything that just happened, you went back to your room, not speaking to anyone after everything was said and done. The only thing you did was check the time on your phone to see how long you had been, 11:37am. It had been almost 2 hours that you were stuck there. 2 hours that you had to listen to your father, but thinking back it must have been longer for Goo and Gun.

You sat in your room for another hour or so to wrap your head around everything, before it all felt suffocating. You wanted to get out, you needed to get out and so you did just that.

You left the house as quietly as you could, not wanting to alarm your father or have Gun trail behind you. You just wanted to be alone and so that’s what you were going to do.

You noted the time on your phone again, 1:03pm and then you told yourself that you would be back before 4pm so as to not alarm anyone. Or at least so you thought.

As time went on and you were just aimlessly walking about to clear your head, while also continuously looking down at your phone to check the time over and over again, you heard a noise.

You didn’t think much of it because you knew better than to poke your nose into other peoples business. Hell, think about what your father did for a living. Basically controlling Goo and Gun, having them take down powerful fighters, while your father hid in the shadows and took down some of his own business associates. You didn’t want to get involved in that, at least not anytime soon if you could help it.

You walked a slight bit faster until the noise was no longer there. You were relieved, then you just walked aimlessly again. 

After hearing the noise and getting a bit freaked out, you lost track of time. It had been 3:13pm when you last looked and much like you said to yourself, you had to be back by 4pm so as to not raise concern. 

By the time you remembered that fact, you had probably walked around another 3 miles or so. Rather than worry by this point, you broke your rule and just continued to walk, until you were in Seoul.

It had taken about 5 hours to walk to Seoul, even though it should have only taken about an hour, but you didn’t mind. The walk cleared your head and you could just text your father and say you were in Seoul if he asked. 

By this point you realized that it was 6:37pm when you had gotten to Seoul. So what better time than to go eat, and potentially go look for some things to buy?. 

You went and got some Samgyeopsal (Korean BBQ) and decided that after this you would go window shopping just so you could stay out of the house a little longer. Obviously not wanting to get scolded for running out of the house. But also because of the lecture that would follow the scolding about how ‘reckless’ you had been for leaving in the first place with nobody (Gun) to protect you.

Either way you ate while also swallowing down some guilt as well as anger. Even though the walk was a good way for you to clear your head, you also realized how forthcoming your father was and how overprotective he was. Sure he had his reasons, but you just realized how smothering that started to feel today. 

After the meal you did exactly what you had in mind, window shopping. You started to walk around again feeling happy that you had a meal and also had time to think and forget certain things.

Another look at your phone as you were walking about revealed the time to be 7:36pm. It would be getting dark in about 30 minutes and so with this in mind, you decided to head for the subway so that you could hopefully be back before dark. Even though you would have an earful from your father, you figured that with a talk, he would understand your reasons for wanting to leave for a little while.

Before you could reach the subway though, it started to rain. You tried to run but almost slipped and with no umbrella you were getting soaked. You decided to go buy one but to no avail, all of them at the nearest shop had been sold out within minutes of the rain starting. 

So you decided to wait, at least until it calmed down a little, but it didn’t. The rain just continued to pour down and get heavier. Your clothes by this point had become weapons against you. The drenched pieces of fabric had become so wet in the few minutes that it had taken you to run to the shop to find an umbrella, that now they were clinging to your skin. Making you almost freeze with every gust of wind or even slight breeze that came your way.

At this point you knew you didn’t have a choice but to run to the subway if you wanted to get home quickly. So you ran, attempting not to slip while running, which you almost failed a few times, but you still made it to the subway in a matter of a few minutes. 

To your dismay though, as soon as you looked at the announcements board displaying the trains, times and where they were going to, each of them read delayed. Over and over you read that word, worrying now that you would need to call your father and have him or someone come and get you. 

Even though you knew you would be in trouble for having left without a word or also having left without having a so-called “bodyguard” by your side, you figured there was no other way of getting home tonight.

Until you remembered something. Goo lived in an apartment just outside the center of Seoul. You could make it there in about 10 minutes if you wanted to and it would save the lecture. You could say to your father that you were just staying at a friend's house and that had been where you were the entire day.

You didn’t know why you hadn’t thought about that idea before now. But then again until last night, which was now about a day ago, technically 2 days ago if you counted separate days on a callander, you didn’t really have a conversation with Goo, at least not a civilized one.

With this in mind though, you thought to yourself about how it would be fine, that Goo would let you in, at least for the night, right?. Either way you didn’t really have a choice. Because as soon as you picked up your phone and pressed the call button on the contact that was named ‘Father’, you needed to stay.

_________

Your father answered and you explained everything, about how it was all too much this morning, about how you needed to get out of the house and about where you were right now. 

To say he was mad would be an understatement, yet he also understood where you were coming from. He apologized and you did the same. Then you brought up that you were going to stay at a friend’s house for the night. That you were only doing this to get some time away and he didn’t question you. 

He asked if you needed anything, to which you told him you didn't and you would buy anything if you needed it. He told you that was fine, apologized one last time and with that the phone call ended. Now you knew had no choice but to go to Goo’s apartment.

You started walking through the rain that was still pouring down, not caring about an umbrella by this point. You just wanted to get somewhere warm and that was hopefully where you were going right now.

After walking about 5 minutes, you looked up at his apartment building that was standing tall just outside the center of Seoul. While doing this you were glad that at some points you did listen to the idiot while he was talking, otherwise you wouldn’t have known about him living so close to where you currently were. 

You were also happy that you were almost there. Excited almost. Maybe due to this being one of the most ‘rebellious’ things you’ve done especially in recent years - but oh well, you needed to get out even for one night.

After another 7 minutes, and getting slightly lost trying to find the entrance, you eventually made it. You were outside his apartment building, getting ready to walk inside. You took a breath and did just that. 

Security was looking at you as if you didn’t belong there. I mean you couldn’t blame them. Soaking wet hair, clothes that were now stuck to your body and dripping water all over the floor. Yeah - you couldn’t blame them for thinking that.

Either way you walked past slightly nervous, while also trying to crack a joke about how wet it was outside. But to no avail, there wasn’t even a small chuckle from any of them, not even the receptionist. 

You continued on, trying to look like you knew where you were going so nobody would question you. You got into the elevator with no questions asked, but distasteful staring looking your way as you were leaving wet footprints on the marble as you walked through the lobby. 

In the elevator you clicked 2 floor buttons that you thought his apartment could be on, the first being the 14th floor and the second being the 16th. In your mind, you thought that if those floors weren’t where his apartment was then it had to be the 15th. When the doors opened up on the 14th floor, you knew that this wasn’t the right floor when the apartments didn’t look “expensive” enough - at least not for Goo. 

You then reached the 16th floor where all of the penthouse apartments were and then you knew you were right with at least one of your three guesses. 

Penthouse apartment number 113, that was his. You remembered because anything with the number 13 always stuck in your head for some odd reason. You stepped out, not knowing if someone else would see you and judge you even more than the security or receptionist had when you arrived. 

There was no one. You breathed a sigh of relief and started to walk to his door, rehearsing what you could say to persuade him to let you into his home. 

Then it hit you, what if he wasn’t there?. What if he was out? What if your father had called ahead and warned him that you might be coming, that he would then come and get you if you showed up at Goo’s?.

No, you had to clear your mind. Plus you also told your father that you would be staying at a friend’s house, so why would he question you.

You arrived in front of his door, it was almost obnoxious as Goo himself. Gold outlines of vines spewed across the matt black door. A gold doorbell at the side of his door, along with a gold door knocker with a wolf’s face on it?. 

You looked disgustingly at the door knocker, but again this was Goo’s apartment you thought, so this was normal. He liked money and even though he didn’t like spending it all that often, when he did, he really went all out on expensive things. But then again money can’t always buy taste…clearly.

By this point you had enough courage to ring the doorbell and so you did. Ring… wait…nothing. Ring…wait…nothing. Ring…wait…nothing.

In that instant your fear was coming to life. He wasn’t there. What were you going to do now?. Go back into the rain?. Try to call a friend at 8:13pm and hope that their parents would let you stay with, well, nothing for one night just because you didn’t want to go home and was too stubborn to let your father have someone drop things off?.

You thought for another minute and then gave the bell one last ring, hoping that he was in. Ring…wait…nothi - in that moment the door slammed open, revealing Goo with no glasses on, his hair and body just as wet as yours and a towel wrapped around his waist. 

He was in the shower. That’s why he wasn’t answering. Goo clicked his fingers in your face a few times before you snapped back from your thoughts and then he spoke.

“My eyes are up here princess” he said with a slight bit of sarcasm, adding the nickname that you hated for good measure. 

“Huh?” You muttered confused.

“What too shy to admit that you’ve wanted to see my abs all this time, that’s ok, here you go” Goo said with all the flirtiness and sarcasm he could muster. 

You let out a sigh along with a small chuckle, before you spoke again.

“Listen Goo, I’m not here for you I… I need a place to stay tonight, so can I stay here?” You say with a hint of sadness in your voice.

Goo looks at you for a moment before the smile tugging on his lips, drops to a straight line . Then without another word he moves aside, letting you in. No questions, no snarkiness, nothing, just Goo purely showing kindness.

You walk inside taking in all the expensive furniture. The dark wallpaper and paint, with accents of blue, gold and silver in different parts of the house. It was a bit different from what you had expected, especially for Goo. I mean he always wears bright colors.

The door shuts and then you hear a lock click into place. Much like when the door slammed open, the door locking snapped you out of your train of thought. 

You turn to Goo, then just stare because you don't know what to say. You expected him to put up more of a fight. To question you on why you were here. Hell, you even expected him not to be here or even for him not to let you inside. But this scenario, you didn’t plan for. You hadn’t even thought it was a possibility. Goo saying a few sarcastic and flirtatious comments like he always did, even while being an ass and then letting you in when you said you needed a place to stay for the night. This was not something you were expecting - you didn’t expect kindness from him at all.

__________

Without a second thought in Goo’s mind, he breaks the silence. “Well my showers been ruined now and clearly you’ve already had a shower. But not a very hot one I'm assuming?”

With another slight chuckle leaving your lips and Goo then smiling again, the tension is then gone between you both. You both just laugh until there is a breeze and you shiver. Goo takes note of this and grabs your wrist, leading you to the bathroom, not saying a word.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

Goo doesn’t say anything but hands you a towel and then leaves for a moment. He then returns with one of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants. He hands them to you without saying anything else, while grabbing the ones that were already in the bathroom and throwing them outside onto a nearby sofa, nicely taking his glasses in his hand and then grabbing the door handle. 

As he’s leaving, that's when he finally speaks. “Go in the showers and change before you catch a cold”. With that the door shuts. You lock it and then hear rustling on the outside of the door, presumably Goo changing. But then you take into account how kind he’s being. 

You reiterate to yourself about how, technically, it’s only been 2 days since the both of you have started to talk civilly to one another and how in those 2 days, so much has happened.

You’ve had multiple conversations, started to fake date, Gun then found out almost immediately, you’ve kissed, Gun told your father, your father lectured you, screamed at you and Goo, you stood up for Goo and then that same day you walked to his apartment in the rain needing a place to stay for the night. Now you're in his bathroom, in his house, getting ready to shower and staying the night. 

How all of this has happened you have no idea and you don’t really want to know, or rather, you don’t want to admit that this is all your doing, just to get Gun’s attention. But now thinking about how you might have his attention, you’re not that bothered. 

Instead, right here, right now, in Goo’s bathroom, you care more about what he will think of you when you walk out. You care more about what the supposed ‘yellow haired bastard’ thinks of you rather than the person you have been fascinated about for years, and you don’t know what to make of it.

__________

You get out of the shower and put on Goo’s clothes. Tying the waistband of the sweatpants as far as they can go so they won’t fall off of you, and trying to sit the shirt across your shoulders but to no avail as it keeps slipping down your left shoulder. 

You sigh and realize that there is no hairbrush for you to comb your hair and that there also isn’t a toothbrush for you. Although thinking any of these thoughts isn’t exactly helping your case, considering you did show up at his house unannounced. 

You tidy the bathroom as best you can before leaving and going to find Goo to ask if he has a spare toothbrush and hairbrush that you could use while you're here. However, once you leave the bathroom the house seems oddly quiet.

You shout out to Goo to ask him the questions, but no response. You wonder if this is the part of your earlier thoughts where your father comes through the door and takes you home. But again you say to yourself that he doesn’t know you're here, he thinks you're at a friend's house. Either way, you don't have a choice but to wait and see what happens. So you sit on his sofa and go on your phone.

Another 15 minutes goes by and then Goo comes through the door, almost tripping on himself, until you see he’s holding some bags. Goo looks up and sees that you’re out of the shower. Meanwhile, you're looking at him trying to not laugh as he did almost fall over. Then you take in his appearance, only for a few seconds. His hair is still wet but neat enough and he’s in regular no name brand clothes with his glasses on. 

Trying to ignore that he almost fell, he nonchalantly takes off his shoes and hands you one of the two bags. With a gesture of his head, you know that this is somehow his way of saying ‘open it’ and so you do just that.

Inside the bag is everything you might need to stay at his place for a night, or by the looks of things, maybe more. There’s a hairbrush, toothbrush, some makeup wipes, hair ties, deodorant, everything that you might need and more. You’re left speechless. 

But it doesn’t end there, Goo motions for another bag, the bag he almost tripped on. You pick it up and see that it’s another regular black bag, as if he also got it from the convenience store. In this bag though is clothes. Some luxury brands sit in the bag like Dior and Saint Laurent and then some regular clothes like a plain black hoodie and ripped blue jeans. 

You look at Goo in shock, complete and utter shock. Clearly it was evident on your face and he realized that because he spoke, in a calm yet unconcerned tone. 

“I know you said you needed a place to stay for tonight, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to buy a few things in case you’re in this…predicament again”. He then stopped speaking for a few seconds and added onto the initial sentence. 

“Also I'll be invoicing you for the clothes. They were expensive after all”. You pause for a second to look at him and he’s entirely serious. By this point you can’t help but laugh uncontrollably, he does the same after seeing you practically doubled over. But he also reiterates that he’s in fact entirely serious about invoicing you. 

You don’t fight him, instead you transfer the money that he asks for because you didn’t want to hear him complain if it came to that. Once all was said and done, you both sat down, not saying a word, rather you both soaked up the silence. The odd thing was, the silence wasn’t eerie, rather it was tranquil and you both could feel it. You sat like that for a good few minutes before Goo finally asked the question that you would rather not answer, at least for tonight. 

“So why are you here?”

“Well, I needed time away and given everything that happened today I think it’s only fitting that I come and stay at my ‘boyfriends’ house, don’t you think?” You say jokingly, trying to avoid the question, while also answering it and trying to sound lighthearted. 

“True, very true. I mean what type of ‘boyfriend’ would let their ‘girlfriend’ spend a night out on the streets, especially when there’s a downpour, even if they might have wanted them to” 

You look at Goo after he speaks, registering the last part of his sentence. Then he laughs and you join him. You both continue to talk, not about your father, not about what happened today, but just talk. It started with the weather, then how you got here and about why Goo went out and bought you clothes and such. Then the conversation turned to your feelings, more specifically about Gun. 

“Listen, I get that you have this weird fascination with Gun. But of all people to choose from to date, HIM!?” Goo says in a confused and mocking way. 

Feeling a sense of  deja vu, you try to steer away from the topic but he keeps coming back round to it. Eventually you think Goo is done when he gets up, but instead he comes back with a bottle of wine and two glasses. 

You look at him with a disappointed look on your face given you're both underage, but you feel like you need it and you figure that your father would be fine with it even if he did find out, since he does give you drinks at home. So once the bottle is open and there’s a half full glass that's being handed to you, you oblige and take it from Goo. 

You swirl the glass around a few times before taking a drink, it’s not as bitter as other red wines you’ve had and so you pick up the bottle. Black raspberry. Huh, at least Goo has good taste.

You put the bottle back down and take another sip, then your mind slips back to the earlier conversation about Gun. You take one last sip and then you start to speak. 

“I guess the fascination comes from the fact that Gun understands me. I don’t know how to explain it, but he does. I don’t like that he does, but then again he has been with me for so long that I can’t exactly deny the obvious. There’s also him being, well…mysterious I guess. You’ve both been with me and my father for so long that I can’t help but wonder about him, about what he was like in Japan. I mean I know some bits and pieces but nothing substantial. I don’t think anyone knows about Gun’s past fully apart from my father and some people that came to Korea to kill him for what he’s done to them. I think that’s why, but who knows really” You say this and turn to Goo, he’s leaning forward, attentively listening to every word you’re saying and you appreciate it. 

“Again, true, but what about me?” Goo asks.

“Huh?” You say confused about what he's asking.

“I mean much like you said, ME and Gun have been with you and your father for so long now, so aren’t you curious about me, or is it just Gun?” Goo asks, as if trying to pry some of your feelings out on what you think about him. 

For some reason with that question, you feel your heart start to race slightly. You ignore it and start to think. You think about what you’re going to say, if you’re going to tell him what you’re thinking right now, if you’re going to stretch the truth a little, or, if you’re going to lie to him. You have another sip of your wine, sigh, and then settle on telling him the truth.

“Sure, I've been curious about you as well, but not as much as Gun. It’s also not like I could have asked you this and that about yourself though. I mean we hated each other and I think partially we still do. We have this whole bargain, fake dating thing going on obviously. Which we each get benefits out of. You piss off Gun, I get his attention and also see if he might have at least some feelings for me. But it’s not like we actually care about each other. I mean we never have really. From the time that we first met each other, we’ve just never..clicked. At least I don’t think we have. I also honestly think that in the past 2 days, we’ve spoken more to each other than in the past 2 almost 3 years that we’ve known each other. It’s funny though. I mean thinking back, I don’t think there was ever a time when we were in the same proximity and didn’t argue. Yet right now, we're sitting down, having a drink, while also holding a regular open and honest conversation with one another. It’s a miracle if you really think about it”. 

After saying everything you think about Goo and your relationship with him, you feel some sort of weight lift from your shoulders. As if this has been burdening you for a while and you're glad it’s out now. You look up from the wine glass to see that Goo is still looking at you and listening to you so attentively. Then he speaks.  

“What if this entire time, I've never hated you?” 

__________

You continue to look at Goo but this time it’s with confusion. You both stare at each other for what feels like hours, but you know it’s only been about 20 seconds. Goo then breaks the silence first.

“Don’t look at me like that”

“Don’t look at you like what. Like you didn’t just say that you’ve never hated me? Also, what do you even mean by that? You mean you’ve never hated me ever, even when I was a bitch to you or you’ve never hated me because you…”

You stall with the last thing that you’re about to say because you’re not sure if you want to know the answer to it. Goo looks at you as if forming his answer, but then he just starts to speak his mind. Or at least what you think is him speaking his mind, but then again this is Goo, he always says what he’s thinking. 

“What I mean when I say I've never hated you is that, well, I've never hated you. I can’t explain it, I just never have. I think it’s because you’re so easy to rile up that even when you are a bitch, it’s fun. You speak the truth, try and hit me, obviously I dodge with ease and you just gradually get more and more pissy, which in turn makes it even more fun. It's a constant cycle you see” Goo says this with so much conviction and pleasure in his voice that you think he’s getting a kick out of it. Almost as if at this very moment he’s trying to piss you off. 

You just continue to look at Goo with a little less confusion now, but more annoyance rather than anything else. Goo just looks at you and starts to laugh because he knows that he’s got you annoyed. Which makes you even more annoyed.

“You know it really is easy to piss you off” Goo says while trying to stifle his laughter. 

“Oh fuck off” You say as you’re gradually getting more angry.

“What, it is. It’s not my fault it’s easy, that part is kinda on you” 

“You know how you just said that you’ve never hated me?” You say lacing it with a hint of snarkiness.

“Yes?” Goo says confused.

“Well I can’t say the same thing about you” You say this with all the snarkiness and pettiness you can muster. 

“Oh come on, don’t be like that” Goo says sarcastically.

“Oh yeah and why shouldn’t I be like this?” You say, snapping back at him.

“Because you’re just proving my point” 

You know that you can’t argue with him anymore because he’s right. You will be proving his point if you continue to argue with him and get even more snappier. But the thing is that right now you are proving his point. Even the way that you just spoke to him proves his point and you hate that he’s right. 

“Also what were you going to say?” Goo asks you.

“What was I going to say, when?” You ask.

“When you were asking me what I mean when I said I didn’t hate you”

You just look at Goo confused because you’ve already forgotten the conversation with Goo being such a pain. Goo then sighs and speaks again.

“Y’know, the part where you trailed off. “Or you’ve never hated me because you…”. Y’know that part?” Goo questions, but the only thing you can think of is how he just tried to mimic your voice. You’re slightly annoyed but at the same time you also try not to laugh at him. But then you remember what you were going to say after that last part.

“OH, that was nothing, just ignore that last part” You say now getting slightly flustered by what you thought.

Goo just looks at you, his brows furrowed as if he’s saying that’s bullshit and you know it. But you’re not about to tell him the truth and you’re sure as hell not going to tell him that you were thinking that he might…like you. That thought has to be burned out of your brain immediately. Goo just nods his head and then doesn’t speak of it again. 

You both finish your glasses of wine, not saying a word to one another. Eventually Goo gets up and you think he’s going to pour you both another glass, but instead he walks upstairs. You assume he’s going to bed and that he’s leaving you to fend for yourself. Selfish asshole. But then Goo emerges with a blanket and a few pillows. 

“I’m tired so I'm going to bed. You take the bed, it’s upstairs, first door on the left. I’ll take the sofa” Goo says.

You’re not entirely sure what to make of it. He’s letting you take the bed and he’s the one taking the sofa, after you show up unannounced. That doesn’t seem right.

“No it’s ok. I'll take the sofa, I mean I am the one who just turned up” You say sarcastically. Goo laughs at your statement, but then proceeds to usher you off the sofa as he lays down the pillows and the blanket and lays down. 

“I did just say that I would take the couch. I mean I'm pretty sure you heard me say it right?” You question Goo because his actions are surprising you even more now. 

“Yup I heard you. But I just didn’t care enough to go back upstairs. Anyway, off you go, go to bed” The way that Goo says this makes you feel little. Not little as if you feel beneath him, but little as if you're a little kid again and you don’t like it.

“Goo seriously. You're really annoying me now. I told you I'll take the sofa, you go back up to bed. It’s your apartment so I'm fine with it, just go” Your words come off frosty, which is what you were intending. But as you're walking towards him getting ready to yank the blanket back and push him off the sofa if need be, he turns, just as your about to do so.

“I told you take the bed”

“And I told you no” 

You’re standing over Goo now, arms folded over your chest. You do feel as if you're being a little child at this moment. But in all honesty, you’re not letting Goo have the couch because you would feel bad.

“Fine” Goo says after about 10 seconds or so of you standing in front of him. 

“Good” You say somewhat feeling accomplished that you’ve now won the argument. But Goo doesn’t get up. 

“Are you getting up?” You question. But before he even gives you an answer, you’re pulled down onto the sofa next to Goo. 

“What are you doing!” You yell.

“All I said was fine. I never said I was going to go to bed. But you were adamant about having the sofa. So now you’ve got the sofa” You shiver at his words because he’s right behind you, whispering in your ear. Holding onto your waist as he’s speaking. 

“But…” Is all you can say before Goo grumbles into the back of your neck. You don’t want to move because you wouldn’t feel as if you won. And I mean technically you hadn’t won, but you still got the sofa, right?.

__________

You’re not sure how long you had been lying for now, but you gather it had been a while. Goo still had an arm slung around your waist, but his breathing was steady now. He was asleep. You were just lying there. Still as can be. 

You tried not to move too much because you didn’t want to be cuddling up with Goo. At the rate it was going though, there would only be 2 options. Either you cuddle up with Goo and somewhat still “win” the argument you both had, or you could go to his bed. 

You tried to crane your head to see Goo as best you could. What you saw was Goo face, peaceful as could be. You didn’t think you would ever see Goo this peaceful in his life. But yet here he was. Eyes closed, his long eyelashes visible, hair messy, no glasses and looking so peaceful.

You turned back around and did what you didn’t want to do. But you also didn’t want to disturb his sleep. So, you back your way up just slightly until you felt your back hit his chest. That was when you heard him mumble again. 

You weren’t sure if he was awake, but either way you still kept quiet. Then you felt his arms. Instead of there being one arm just slung around your waist, there was now 2. One underneath your waist, holding you tightly and the other also now holding you tightly. 

Goo then pulled you even closer to him. So close that the only thing you could think of was him. How nice it felt to be so close to him. How you both fit together so well, almost like a piece of a puzzle and how nice he smelt. 

Then without you meaning to. You put your hands on top of his. Grabbing onto his arms and locking yours in place. Then you laid your head down on one of the pillows, ready to fall asleep. 

But you felt Goo graze the back of your neck with his nose, it made you giggle because it tickled slightly. Then you felt him kiss the back of your neck, before he spoke in a raspy i’m just up voice. “Goodnight” Was all he said but that made your heart skip a beat. 

You kept your eyes open for a few more minutes just processing what had happened. But with the warmth you were feeling and not wanting to think about anything else until tomorrow, you shut your eyes and fell asleep.

__________

You wake up with a slight headache, but what really draws your attention is that you feel breath on your face. You eventually open your eyes and see that you’re face to face with Goo. You don’t know what to do, but you think back to last night and then it clicks. You fell asleep after he kissed the back of your neck and told you goodnight and you both fell asleep.

You think about what to do and while you’re doing so, you’re frightened by a voice. 

“Good morning” Goo says to you in a raspy voice and it reminds you of what he sounded like last night. 

“Morning” You say back to him. 

Goo then slowly opens his eyes and you’re just staring right at him when his eyes do open. You wonder if he’g he's going to say something, but nothing leaves his mouth. He just stares back at you, while you stare at him.

There’s something in his eyes that you can’t quite place. You think it might be confusion or perhaps regret. But Goo doesn’t say anything. He just continues to stare with that something being present in his eyes. 

“So are we going to get up or are we just going to lay down and look awkwardly at each other?” You question Goo on the matter. Partially to break the tension, but mostly because you’re so close to him. 

“Uh yeah, yeah” Goo says back to you. But when he says this to you his voice almost sounds sad. After hearing him say yes though, you waste no time in getting out of his grip and getting up from the safe. After doing that you look at the wine glasses and bottle. Now you remember why you woke up with a headache.

You pick up the glasses and bottle as Goo is just continuing to stare. Like fully STARE at you. You feel like if he could stare harder and potentially cause a hole to form through you, he would do it. 

Either way, you do your best to ignore him and clean up. Which you do. But it’s mostly to keep yourself distracted from the awkwardness. After cleaning, you practically do your morning routine. Brushing your hair, brushing your teeth, getting something to eat. 

You’re doing the last part of your routine while Goo is still on the sofa just looking at you. You don’t know why he’s staring at you but it’s starting to annoy you. But even though it’s starting to annoy you, you can’t help but feel giddy that he’s staring at you so much. 

You start to make breakfast with what Goo has in his fridge, he doesn’t have much but you can make do. You shout back to Goo asking if he wants anything and he just responds with “Whatever you're having”. So you make 2 omelets.

Once you finish making them you take both plates and go back to the sofa, handing one to Goo as you pass. But you don’t sit on the sofa, you sit on the floor, which garners a what are you doing look from Goo.

“What are you doing?” Goo asks. Yup, it was a what are you doing look. 

“Sitting and eating” You say back.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re on the floor” 

“Because I wanted to sit on the floor” You say back to him sarcastically. 

“Why?” Goo asks, confused.

 “Because, why not?” 

Goo just sighs and starts eating. So you do the same. Both of you finish and then Goo gets up and takes the plates. But you feel as if there is a specific conversation that needs to be had. You’re just not sure which conversation that is going to be yet.

After breakfast Goo went and did his normal routine, or at least what you expect to be his normal routine. Finally, he sits down. Before you even think about what conversation needs to be had, he speaks.

“So”

“So?”

“So, are you going back today?” Goo asks.

“Back home?” You say back to him. 

“Yup” 

“Probably”

“Why?” Goo questions, as if he’s expecting you to stay another day.

“Why?” You question back.

“Yes, why?” Goo questions again.

“Because I should probably go back home” You say back to him.

“But didn’t you come here to get away?. I mean seriously. One day and that’s enough for you?” Goo questions again.

Sure you needed to get away, but you were only going to be gone for one night. More importantly though, is Goo asking you to stay?.

“I mean I did get away right?”

“Yes, you did”

“Ok, so we’ve clarified that I got away”

“That we have”

“Ok great. So why are you being so pushy on me staying here another night. I mean do you want me to stay?” 

“Yes” Goo says matter-of-factly.

Well you weren’t expecting that. I mean you liked the honesty, but wow, that caught you by surprise. You think about it for a moment. I mean could you really stay away for another night?. You told your father that you were only going to be gone for the night. What would he say if you were staying out another night?. 

You think and think. Mainly thinking about what your father would say and then you think about the fact that Goo actually wants you to stay another night. Once you’ve cleared your thoughts you pick up your phone and walk away from Goo. You click on the same contact that you clicked on last night. Father. Then you press call again.

This time he doesn’t pick up after the first call, so you call again. Then he picks up. 

“Hi, how are you this morning?. Do you need a car to come and pick you up?” Your father says from the other end of the phone. You’re quiet for a moment and in that moment you look at Goo. He’s just staring back at you. The look on his face is that of confusion and uncertainty, but you think he knows what you’re doing. 

“Hi. I’m fine dad and no the car won’t be necessary. I’m..uh…I’m going to stay another night with my friends, maybe even two. I hope that’s ok?” You say to your father. Your voice hushed so that Goo couldn't hear. 

Your father sighs. This is your way of knowing that your father isn’t happy that you're staying over again but he’s going to let you and sure enough he did. The call ended and the only thing he asked of you, was that you call him every morning and night. You agreed and so that was that. You were going to stay with Goo another night. Possibly 2. 

You went back over and sat down - this time on the sofa.

“Well, looks like I’m stuck here again” You say to Goo playfully as you lay your head down on the back of the sofa. Goo just looks at you with a smile on his face and you’re not sure how to take it. I mean why did he want you to stay?. 

“Hey Goo, why did you want me to stay?” You ask him, hoping to clear your mind a little. 

“Good question and I’ll be honest. It’s because you’re good company” He says back.

Safe to say you’re not sure how you feel about that. But the most you do know is that you don’t mind that answer. And that was obvious to Goo as well considering the smile that was plastered on your face. Goo just smiles back at you. 

A few minutes later, both you and Goo are cleaning the house. He did say he could do it alone, but you had already started lifting the blanket and pillows off of the sofa before he could argue with you. 

“So, the first door on the left upstairs, right?” You ask him just to clarify where you’re taking the blanket and pillows.

“Yup” 

“Cool. Where do you want them?” You ask.

“Just put the pillows back on the bed and the blanked at the bottom” 

“Ok”

After asking you walk upstairs and into his bedroom. Odd, was the first word that came to mind. Much like the house itself, you expected it to be colorful, but it wasn’t. It was also just really…clean?. You, yourself are even confused as to why you were expecting his room to be a mess, but nevertheless, you were. 

You continue to look around and then you see the color you’ve been waiting to see. His closet door is slightly ajar and all you see are his obnoxious suits in all different colors. You laugh to yourself at just the thought of his house being painted bright colors. You’re definitely glad that he didn’t do that to himself or anyone else for that matter.

After your laughing fit is over with, you do as Goo told you to do with the pillows and blanket. Once you’re done you take one last look around the room, nodding in approval of the cleanliness. But as you’re walking out you see a framed picture on the drawers by his door. 

It’s of Gun, Goo and yourself. You pick up the picture and study it more closely, only to remember that this is the day that the both of them and your father took you to a theme park for your birthday a few years back. You smile at the memory and then look at the picture again, only to see that you’re looking at Gun and Goo…Goo’s look at you. But not with disgust or anger or any emotion you correlate to a grievance in a person. He’s looking at you like your father looks at you, with eyes full of…love?. 

You put the picture down and leave the room, unsure if that’s the right emotion he’s got in his eyes. You’re sure you’re overthinking this. Yes, that has to be it. You’re overthinking it, you say to yourself. You walk back downstairs and look around. Goo isn’t anywhere you can see. You shout for him a couple of times, but to no avail. There’s no answer, he left.  

An hour passes and Goo still isn’t back. Then another hour. Then another. By the fourth hour you wonder if your father had called him when you were upstairs and you figured he had. It’s now lunchtime and you’re getting hungry. So much like this morning you go over to the kitchen and start making something. Only then do you see the note that Goo must have left for you.

‘Your dad called. I have to go out and deal with a few things. Be back when I’m back, Goo. x”

Once you read it you nod in appreciation that he left a note at all. Then you do a double take back to the note. Your eyes grow wide as you see he’s left an ‘x’ at the end of the note. Once again your heart starts beating faster and you’re not sure what to make of it. God, Goo really is messing with your head and you don’t like it one bit. 

_________

You're sleeping when Goo arrives back at his apartment, so you don’t hear him come in or come over to you at all. It isn’t until you feel your head being lifted up ever so slightly, that you stir and open your eyes only a fraction. 

When you do, you see Goo looking up at the TV while eating his dinner and then you realize that your head is on his lap. You don’t want to move or even let on that you’re away. So instead you just close your eyes again. Falling asleep.

Once you wake up for the second time, Goo is nowhere to be seen. You think for a moment. Was that a dream?. Was I just dreaming?. No. No, that had to be real. That was real. Only a few moments after reassuring yourself that what happened wasn’t a dream, Goo appeared at the top of the stairs.

“Oh, she lives” Goo Says sarcastically.

“Ha ha. What time is it?” 

“No need to be so miserable after you wake. I mean you were dead to the world. I was having my doubts you were still alive. Oh and it’s…6:08pm” 

“Ok, thanks. When did you get back?” 

“Abooouut, an hour about” 

“Ok. Oh, thanks for leaving the note. I was slightly worried when you weren’t here” You say this as you’re still in your groggy stage of getting up. So you don’t even recognise that you just said you were worried about Goo. 

Once you’re up and not feeling groggy, you look over at Goo. He’s just smiling. He’s not looking at the TV or his phone or anything in the apartment. He’s just smiling, so sheepishly that you’re intrigued to know what’s causing him to smile so much. But then Goo looks at you, still smiling. 

You raise and eyebrow at him. In response Goo just shrugs his shoulders. You sigh and shake your head back and forth. Then after all the dramatical effects both of you have been doing to one another. You look at each other and just burst out laughing. None of you stop until you start wheezing and Goo starts snorting. But again, you both just look at each and laugh even harder.

This goes on for another 5 minutes, in which time, things only get funnier. Eventually after another few minutes, you stop. Both trying to catch a breath. You hadn’t laughed like that in so long, it was nice, this was nice. You think for a minute and discover that you’re calling this moment with Goo, nice, fun even. Wow, he’s really gotten under your skin these last few days.

Then you think back, back to when you both hated each other. Well, when you just hated Goo. After all, Goo never really hated you. He admitted that. You think back to the night in the study, how he was so close to your face when you first brought up the fake dating idea to him. You think about how your father reacted and how you defended Goo. Then how Goo reacted to you defending him. You think about how he let you in last night, bought you clothes and necessities that you would need. He even bought you extras, ‘just incase’. 

Then you think about how you fell asleep together. How Goo kissed the back of your neck and wished you goodnight. How he left the note for you. How he was looking at you in the picture at the theme park and eventually your mind fell back to the time where Goo had kissed you. He kissed you to ‘prove’ your relationship wasn’t “fake”. 

You smile at the thought of the kiss. At the thought that just a few days ago he kissed you and you felt disgusted and angry. Then you look at Goo, who’s just now caught his breath. You look at him and just think some more. You watch him. Then you smile. You’re smiling at everything that’s happened the last couple of days. 

But what you’re really smiling about is the thought you just had. That thought being that you wouldn’t have wanted to go through this with Gun. I mean you hadn’t really thought about him at all these last couple of days, even though you’re doing all of this to get Gun’s attention. The irony. But the one person you were happy to go through this all with, is Goo. 

Goo eventually catches his breath, then looks in your direction. You're already staring at him of course. But you’re not sure how to ask the questions you’re thinking of right now. And there’s A LOT.

“Goo” You eventually manage to say. 

“Yes?” He says back with worry lacing through his voice.

“If I ask you some questions, can you give me the truth?” Goo raises a brow at you this time.

“Sure” He says. “I guess” You nod at his answer and then think. Then you think about how you’ve been doing a lot of that lately. But you inevitably have 1 main question in mind, so you know that that’ll be the last question you ask.

You sigh and close your eyes before looking back at Goo, preparing yourself for what’s to come and the answers he might give to you. Answers you’re not sure if you want to hear. 

“Why did you agree to fake dating me?”

“Because I thought it would be fun” Goo answered the question, but why didn’t you feel satisfied by that answer?.

“Goo give me a better reason other than because you thought it would be fun” You say to him, trying to pry an actual answer out of him.

With this Goo sighs, looks away from you and then looks at you again. “You really want to know why?” Goo says, now questioning you.

“Yes, that would be nice” 

“Fine. It’s because I didn’t want to say no to you. Actually, It’s because I couldn’t say no to you”

“What do you mean you couldn’t say no to me?” You question him again.

“To be honest, I’m not exactly sure about what I mean by it. Don’t get me wrong, I did think it would be a whole lot of fun doing this and annoying Gun. But there was just something, something in your eyes that I couldn’t say no to” 

“Ok” You say. Somewhat happy, but also confused by that answer.

“Next question. Why do you have that picture of you, Gun and I in your bedroom?” Goo looks at you slightly taken aback by what you just asked. But then you think he realized that the picture wasn’t exactly hidden.

“That was just a memory. It was a fun day”

“Goo” You say because yet again, you feel like that isn’t the truth.

“Fine. Fine. I kept it because…well…it’s the only picture I have of…you” You just look at Goo, not sure what to say or what to do. Your lips part slightly as if you're about to speak again, but you can’t think of anything to say. Then you swallow hard at what he just said. He has that picture because it’s the only picture he has of you. YOU!. Wow, just wow. What do you even say to that? What can you even say to that?. 

You eventually let out a shaky breath, hoping to calm your heart down slightly. “Ok, thanks for the honesty. I’ve just got a few more questions. That is if it’s ok?” Goo’s looking away from you now, but he nods to say yes.

“Ok. Then what about the ‘x’ on the note, why did you do that? Or kiss me on the neck and say goodnight? Why were you staring at me so intensely this morning?” You now had so many more questions, but you think that covers the few of the less visceral ones.

“That’s a lot of questions. But I’ll answer them all for you and I won’t try to spin the truth anymore, so here goes. I kissed the back of your neck last night because I wanted you to know I was there and that I was comfortable around you. I wanted you to feel comfortable around me as well because to me at least, you felt as though you were uncomfortable. I left you the ‘x’ on the note because I appreciated what you did for me and wanted to be kind. And as for me staring at you this morning. It all somewhat ties together with everything else I said” Goo sighs and then closes his eyes shut so tight that you can see the wrinkles on them. He looks at you again after opening them, not looking away from your eyes this time. 

“The entire reason I was looking at you this morning was because we woke up so close together. Not just close together but face to face, our lips almost touching. The entire reason I was looking at you like that this morning, the entire reason I kissed the back of your neck last night and the entire reason why I left you that ‘x’ on the note was because the entire time that you’ve been here, in my apartment, when we’ve talked, when we’ve laughed, when we’ve argued was because I wanted to kiss you. I couldn’t do it last night because I was behind you and I knew you wouldn’t have liked nor wanted it. I knew when we woke that you wouldn’t want it and I knew that before I left here to handle some things for your dad, that you wouldn’t want it. That answer all your questions?” 

You sit there completely stunned. Stunned to the point where you think you could be a statue. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t speak, you couldn’t even move your eyes. You just sat there. Goo looking straight ahead, right at you. You blink for the first time in what feels like years. Then you can somewhat move. But you still feel as though you can’t speak. You’re not even sure if you want to speak.

You both continue to just look at each other, not saying a word. Then, just like always, Goo breaks the silence.

“Any more questions?” With this, you eventually find your voice. 

“Just one, maybe two more” 

“Then ask away”

“Ok. Why didn’t you think I wouldn’t want you to kiss me?” Goo looks shocked at what you’ve just asked. But nevertheless, he answers.

“Because it’s me and not Gun who would be kissing you. I mean last night you told me that you thought we always hated each other. It was you who said we just never ‘clicked’” He was right of course. You did say all of that. So you just nod and you’re ready to move onto your last question, but before you can do that Goo jumps in.

“Since I've been answering all the questions. Answer a couple of mine before you ask me anymore”

“Ok. It’s only fair” You say back. 

“Great. I expect the same honesty that I’ve given you” Goo says this so authoritatively, that you feel like your in a room with your father. 

“Of course” You say back to him. Hoping that in any way, he will speak slightly softer.

“Good. So why are you here with me right now instead of Gun? I mean that’s who you really want to be with right?” The hope disappears from you quickly as you realize that Goo just became even more colder to you.

“Because I couldn’t go to him. I didn’t want to go to him. And even if I did go to him, he would have just told me that I’m not his problem or that I shouldn’t be there or he would have taken me back to my father. Sure I may have come to you because you were the easier option, but I liked being here with you. I like being with you. And as for who I want to be with right now. It’s not Gun, it’s you” Again you both just look at each other. But this time it’s Goo who could be mistaken for a statue. 

“Ok, if that’s my questions finished with, then I have one more” Goo just nods, not saying a word. 

“Do you like me?” This was the one question you didn’t want to ask, but you had to know the answer to. You had to know. You needed to know.

“Yes” Was the only word Goo could say and that answered all of your questions. That answered every thought that you could think of. There was just one more thing that you had to say to Goo for that night.

“Thank you for telling me the truth” Was the only thing you said before getting up. Goo watched you as you did so. His eyes were full of hurt and sadness. But you couldn’t let the feeling go that if you left, you would never see him again. Or that he wouldn’t want to see you again. So as you walked, you stopped in front of him and turned to face him. 

“Goo” You said as softly as you could. “Can you stand up for me please, I think you’re sitting on my phone” He now looked so hurt. He looked so hurt that you cared more about your phone than him. But you think he cared more about the fact that you were leaving.

Sure enough though, Goo stood up. You walked behind him, grabbed your phone that he was in fact sitting on, slid it into the back pocket of your jeans and then turned back to face him. You didn’t say anything to him and he wasn’t even looking at you. So you thought and you decided to do one of the most impulsive things you’d ever done and probably would ever do.

Within a few seconds of you thinking about what you were about to do, you did it. You cupped Goo’s face in your hands and kissed him. Then you pulled away. Looking at him. The hurt and sadness had turned to shock and disbelief. So you did it again. When you pulled away this time, he still looked the same. So you did it one more time. This time when you did it, Goo snaked his arms around your waist and lifted you up. After your feet were back down on the ground and you had stopped kissing, you looked at Goo.

“I’m going to bed now” Was all you said. You weren’t sure why you said it but it confused you as much as it confused Goo. But the entire reason you think you said it was because you would have to admit something to yourself. You would have to admit that you were falling for Goo.

__________

You wake up the next morning with a cramp in your neck, probably from lying on the sofa at a weird angle. You slowly wake up and gaze at your surroundings, familiarizing yourself that you are still at Goo’s apartment. 

You get up and do what can only be described as distracting yourself from thoughts of last night. You kissed Goo. Not because you had to but because you wanted to. 

You get a cup of coffee, brush your teeth after and go in the shower. All while you’re still thinking about Goo. Goo this, Goo that. Until finally you think that it is Gun that you should be thinking about.

So you try to think about Gun, you think about all the fun times you had with him and how he gets you. Then as if clockwork, Goo jumps straight back into your thoughts as he descends the stairs.

“Hey” You say as casually as you can.

“Hi” Goo says back in a somewhat cold manner.

“How are you?” You ask him, trying to lighten up the conversation but to no avail. 

“Mhm” Goo responds back. You can’t help but think your lack of ‘caring’ last night about this kiss and how cold you were after have something to do with this. But again, you try to converse with Goo. 

“So, how did you sleep last night?” You ask.

“Good” 

“Good, that’s…well good!” You say back, AGAIN trying to lighten the mood. But at this point you’re hoping that it’s just down to Goo waking up. 

“Yup” 

“Well coffee’s ready if you want a cup. I thought I should make you some, show you how thankful I am that you let me stay here these past few nights” You say to Goo.

“Thanks”

“No problem” 

The room goes quiet after that. No conversations to be had and none that you wanted to start. So you go and sit down and start drinking your coffee in complete silence. 

Goo joins you, but sits far away to the point that you know he is avoiding you in the best way he can. You just continue to drink your coffee and not chat until there’s a knock at the door. 

You immediately look at the door, then to the clock that is sitting in the living room. 7:46am. Who can be here at 7:46am?. Until you hear the voice. His voice. Gun’s voice. 

You don’t even have enough time to get up and go somewhere, let alone hide. Then Goo, as cool as a cucumber, just says “It’s open”. 

You look at Goo, then look at the door which Gun is now standing in. Gun just looks at you and then to Goo. 

“Told you she’s here. She’s been here for the past 2 nights” Goo says.

Taken aback by what Goo has just said, you look at him. He stares right back at you with a completely straight face. No hint of emotion present on it at all. No anger. No hurt. No surprise…no surprise.

“You called Gun” You say looking at Goo. But he doesn’t speak.

“YOU CALLED GUN” You say again this time raising your voice, as well as yourself off the sofa. 

“Yes, Goo called me” Gun chimes in.

“I wasn’t asking you” You say back to Gun, not taking your eyes off of Goo.

“Yes, I called Gun” Goo eventually says. 

You’re shocked at how casually this conversation is for him. How..normal it is that he’s called Gun to get you. Normal. Huh. You suppose it is normal for Gun to come and get you. But you didn’t think it would be Goo to call him first. 

All you can do after thinking for a moment is to nod your head. You know what this is about and why it’s happened. But wasn’t it inevitable?. Wasn’t this how it was always going to be?. You would have to go back to your father’s house at some point, but you thought you might have had another night.

Another night to stay with Goo. To be around Goo. To sort out what had happened between you both. Your…feelings for Goo. But no. All because of a miscommunication that you caused, this is now a thing that’s happening.

Right here, right now - Gun is picking you up from Goo’s apartment, after Goo was the one to call him. Great, you think to yourself. Just great.

An hour later you and Gun are leaving Goo’s apartment. Goo has just sat, emotionless, while you’ve gathered the slight part of “your” things that were scattered around. After doing that and leaving the clothes Goo bought you, you go towards Gun.

“You’ve got everything?” Gun asks.

“Yes, now can we go” You say back to him, while looking at your feet because the fact is you can’t look at Goo. Not right now at least.

“Again, thank you for telling me where she was” Gun says back to Goo before leaving. But just as the door was closing you could see the smirk on Gun’s face and the slight look of despair on Goo’s.

__________

Another hour later and a silent car journey, you’re home. Back at your father’s house and Gun is waiting for you to get out. 

“Thanks” You say to him, so coldly that even you think it is a bit mean.

“Why were you at Goo’s?” Gun asks out of nowhere, even though you were expecting it at least at some point. But now?. 

“It doesn’t matter” 

“Yes. Yes it does” 

“Why does it matter?” You question.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you said that you were at your friend's house for the past few days. Then, come to find out, you’re at Goo’s”

“Yup, I was in fact at Goo’s. Shocker now isn’t it?” You say back sarcastically. 

“Really, that’s it. That’s the only explanation I’m getting?” Gun spits back at you.

“You're really expecting an explanation. Wow, we're a bit full of ourselves aren’t we?” You say back with even more sarcasm this time. But Gun just looks at you and smirks. He knows that he’s pushing your buttons and you’re also very much aware of what he is doing. 

“I’m not, just curious that’s all” He eventually says back to you. 

“Well can’t I hang out at my boyfriend's house?” You eventually say back, giving him a slight explanation. Gun then does something that you were not expecting. He starts laughing. Hysterically laughing.

“Oh come on. You really think Goo called me and didn’t mention your little deal with him, hm?” Just from that one sentence, your sense of reality shatters. Goo told Gun. Goo told Gun. Goo told Gun. 

All you can think to do at this moment in time is to simply repeat that sentence. Over and over again, until probably on the 100th time, it sinks in. Goo told Gun about your deal. He told him the relationship was fake. That you were in fact, never in a relationship with Goo. Meaning that he must have told Gun about your feelings for him.

“So, what’s it going to be? Are you going to tell me the truth about everything orrr am I going to have to tell your father about your little outing?” Gun eventually speaks, drawing your mind back to reality that you lost only moments ago.

However, you can’t help but think with his choice of words that he might not know EVERYTHING. So you think carefully about what you say next because you certainly cannot have your father hearing about you staying at a guy's apartment, let alone Goo’s.

You collect your thoughts and process what little information you have and what information Gun has let slip. He knows the deal with Goo was a lie. He knows that your relationship with Goo was a lie. But he might not know that you had feelings for him. Ok.

“You want to know the truth? Well here it is” You pause before speaking to look straight at Gun and he’s now just looking straight back at you. His eyes are not wavering from yours and then you start off on your lies mixed with truth.

“Yes, I did fake a relationship with Goo. Why? I’m not sure, call it boredom and to see what you might think and wow did that work. The look on your face when we actually kissed, comical” You stop there for a brief moment. Gun’s eyes are still glued to your own but you can now see that the ever familiar smirk has been wiped from his lips. 

“To be completely honest with you, I really do wish I had a framed picture of that moment. It was amazing. But as for why I was at Goo’s house. Let me think. Oh, yes, that’s right, when you thought Goo and I actually were in a relationship, you ran straight to my father and then I needed space. So I went out for a walk, ended up in Seoul and long behold it started to rain. I wandered about a little while, trying to find an umbrella, but you know how it is.Then I ran to the subway”

Again you stop, taking in what you’ve said and by the look and Gun’s face Goo definitely didn’t tell him about how you had feeling for him. And now you're hoping he also didn’t tell Gun about anything else.

“Now let me finish the story, since you are SOOO interested. After running down to the subway, every single message on the board said delayed. So that’s when I decided to stay somewhere for the night. I didn’t think it would be appropriate to just turn up at anyone’s doorstep given the circumstance, so that’s when I remembered that Goo stayed nearby. I called my father, explained that I needed some time away and then made my way to his apartment. Oh yeah, thanks for the information on where he lived, it was really useful even though I never expected to be going there at any given moment of my life. But it worked out nicely. So I made my way over, found the building, went in, went up in the elevator and found his obnoxious door and hey presto, it was Goo’s apartment. I stayed there for 2 nights and then you came to collect me no more than, oh 2 and a half hours ago now” 

You eventually stop speaking after having said everything and you feel accomplished. You’ve said everything you wanted to say, lie or truth. You’ve shut down Gun and you’ve wiped the smirk off his face. You’ve also avoided your father from finding out and you’ve avoided a lecture. So yes, right now you feel very accomplished. 

Now you’re just waiting for Gun to say something back to you. But he doesn’t. He’s just sitting in silence, now not even looking at you. He’s just gripping the steering wheel and you can see that his knuckles have turned white with just how tightly he’s gripping it.

You can only think to yourself about what he has to say and that’s the worrying part. You’re not sure what he will have to say about everything. Sure, you have told him everything that happened, leaving out a few parts. But in the back of your mind your thoughts are still nagging at you that he still might know. That he might know everything. You need Gun to speak so you know, for certain, that he doesn’t know everything. 

“Well then, I suppose that’s all of my question and further questions answered. Apart from one. Why is it that you and Goo, I’m assuming, were getting on like a so-called ‘house on fire’ until today. What exactly happened, huh?” 

Of all the questions that Gun could have asked, this one wasn’t high on your list for ones that you wanted to answer. But you were going to do so anyway to avoid any arguments or lectures later down the line. 

“Well, if you must know, we had an argument last night. Nothing in particular just a spat, so to speak” You say, assuming this is enough for Gun. But of course it isn’t.

“An argument about what?” He asks. 

“Oh you know, he didn’t like the way that my toothbrush touched his. Regular things when you’re living with someone” You say sarcastically, hoping that Gun won’t press on. But of course, that doesn’t happen.

“I’m being serious here. What was the argument about?” 

“Like I said, it was about a toothbrush” You say again. Gun just looks at you unimpressed with your retort and asks again.

“What was it about?” 

“Fine, you really want to know what it was about?” You question.

“Preferably, yes. It would save me telling your father and dim my curiosity” Gun says sarcastically this time. 

“Fine. If you want to know that badly then here’s the truth. We kissed last night, well I kissed him because that was all I could think to do. Then after I pulled away I said that I was going to bed. Are you happy now you know the truth?” 

Gun just looks at you, eyes wide, his grip on the steering wheel even tighter than before, as if he’s the one that has a reason to be angry. But he does, you just didn’t know it then. 

_________

It’s been 3 weeks since you have been back home. 3 weeks since Gun had dropped you back off at your father’s home. 3 weeks since your arguments with both Goo and Gun and 3 weeks since you’ve spoken to either of them. 

You don’t know what to think. You don’t know what to do, but you are grateful to Gun. He kept his word and didn’t say anything to your father when you came back and the weeks that followed. 

But you’re not happy that neither of them has spoken to you. But you can’t blame them either. You’re just upset and that’s fine, you’ll get over it. But nevertheless, it still hurts to know that you messed up what is probably the two people you were closest to. 

But in the past 3 weeks, you’ve also realized something. You’ve realized that in the almost 5 days that you spent with Goo meant something to you. You were too scared to admit it before, but now you’re not scared to. You caught feelings for Goo. But even with everything that went on with Gun, you still have feelings for him as well. How selfish.

But you decided that you were not going to pity yourself. So you have text them both, but with no luck. You apologize to Goo about what you said and asked him if you could both talk. He left you on read. 

As for Gun, you’re not entirely sure what you did but you suppose that hanging out with Goo, who you can only describe as Gun “best friend” and admitting that you kissed him had something to do with it. You’ve also text him, but again with no luck.

You’ve also realized how selfish it was to have done the whole fake dating thing with Goo. So when you came back from Goo’s apartment and arrived after Gun had dropped you off. You went to your father and told him everything about fake dating Goo and that Gun was wrong about your relationship with him. But you still stand by what you said. You didn’t mention anything else though.

Either way, with everything you’ve realized over the past 3 weeks, you feel better about yourself. You’ve figured out that putting people against one another or using someone to your advantage to get someone else, might not be a good idea. Ever.

But you are excited for today. After 3 weeks you are going to see Gun and Goo today. But what you’re not excited for is their reactions of seeing you again, because you’re not entirely sure how they’re going to react. All you can do is hope it’s going to go well. 

3 hours later and 2 coffees in your system, you’re ready and waiting for both of them along with your father in his office. You can’t remember the last time that your palms were this sweaty over seeing someone. You suppose it was when your father told you that you would be meeting your bodyguard for the first time, the irony. 10 or so minutes later, they both arrive. Your father greets them both first with a ‘Hello’ and then it’s your turn to speak.

“Hi” You say as calmly as you can, speaking to both of them.

“Hi” Goo says back.

“Hi, how have you both been?” Gun asks.

“I’ve been better” You say.

“Well then, let’s see if we can change that” Your father says, interjecting into the conversation. You just look at him and smile at him trying to be thoughtful and funny. All you can think is just how ‘funny’ doesn’t suit your father in the slightest.

Goo and Gun both take their seats as your father starts the meeting with all 3 of you present. He’s just going over the usual overviews of his business and from starting again today, you will have Gun as your bodyguard again. Goo as his. 

Once everything is said and done. Instruction clear. Everything worked out. Your father makes a hasty exit to answer a call and you’re left alone with both Goo and Gun.

“So how have you both been?” You ask, curious as to how they both have been. But also trying to ease some of the residual tension in the room.

“Great” Goo replies hastily, as if not wanting to have a conversation with you.

“Good” Gun replies in a slightly less cold manner than Goo.

“Well I suppose starting again today you’re both back as mine and my father’s bodyguards” You say, pointing out the obvious. But you cannot think of anything else to say. The tension now is almost unbearable. You could probably cut it with a knife. 

“Yes” Goo and Gun say at the same time. 

“Look, can we just stop this. I know it’s blatantly obvious but I fucked up. On both accounts I fucked up. I didn’t mean to practically put the both of you against one another, but I did. I really am sorry about that and for everything else. So can we maybe…try to act like we all used to. Like the both of you used to” You say eventually because you couldn’t take the pressure in the room any longer.

“And how did we both act before?” Gun asks. 

“That’s a hard question to answer. But I suppose you acted like, well, friends, but more so friends at a push. And it’s a very big push” You say, trying to bring back your sarcasm along with a potential laugh from one of them. But to no success.

“We were never friends” Goo says matter-of-factly and Gun nods in support of what Goo has just said.

“Ok, so not friends. Got it. But how about co-workers?. That works right. I mean you’re both going to be around one another a lot again. So why not try to get along like how you both used to?” You say.

“That wouldn’t work. Not anymore” Goo says.

“I agree. That wouldn’t work” Gun then says. 

You just sigh at both of them. In the last 3 weeks you haven’t seen both of them. You also forgot that it’s a losing game to argue with them. It must have also slipped your mind that they are like cats and dogs. They can be around one another, but they will never get on with one another.

While thinking about all of this. Goo gets up to leave and because you have been meaning to talk to both Goo and Gun 1 on 1. Assuming they want to as well. You quickly yell Goo’s name. Maybe a little too loudly. 

“Yes?” Goo says in surprise. 

“Sorry that was a bit loud. Could I talk to you for a minute or two?. Would that be ok?” You ask. 

“Sure, I guess” Goo says, letting out a sigh after he finished speaking. 

“Great. Also Gun could you wait here for however long this takes?. I was hoping I could talk to you as well” You ask Gun.

“Sure” Gun replies back.

You nod at Gun. Giving him a silent thank you and then make your way towards the door where Goo is standing with his arms folded across his chest. 

“Ok, well we’ll be talking in the kitchen if you need me for anything before that” You say back to Gun just as you’re pushing the door open and walking out with Goo.

You walk into the kitchen with Goo trudging behind you. Just judging by his attitude today, he’s more prickly than usual. Meaning that if you say something that might set him off, or even just in general, he’s going to lay into you one way or another. Great, you think to yourself. But to be honest, with the way that you left his apartment and how you treated him beforehand, you can’t blame him.

“So” You say, trying to ease your way into things.

“How have you really been?” You say again because it’s the only thing you can think of.

“Like I said, I've been great” Goo says again.

“Ok, well that’s good. I’m glad” You say, trying to lighten the mood before you inevitably ruin it again.

“Ok. Let’s cut to the chase and get this over with. I’m sorry. Really, really sorry for how things went” You say eventually just giving in.

“You’re sorry about what exactly?” Goo says back to you and now you can tell he’s getting angry. But you can also tell that with the way you left things, he’s hurt. 

“I’m sorry about, well, everything. I’m sorry that I came running to you. I’m sorry that I stayed longer than one night. I’m sorry about asking all those question” You pause for a second not wanting to say the last few sentences, but you know you have to. You know you have to because if not the guilt and hurt that you’ve put Goo through would eat away at you.

“And I’m sorry for saying what I said, after I kissed you. And..and I’m sorry for kissing you. It shouldn’t have happened. I’m just so, so sorry” You say. The hurt and sorrow in your voice is so present to you, that you didn’t think you were the one actually speaking. You didn’t think that everything you said and done with Goo affected you this much. You didn’t think it hurt you this much.

“You’re right. It should have never happened. None of it should have ever happened” Goo says, agreeing with every point in one fail swoop.

“Yeah. It shouldn’t have. But…” You pause, not sure if you should finish what you were saying.

“But what?” Goo says, now slightly intrigued as to what you were going to say.

“But I’m..I’m glad it did” You say eventually. With as much authority as you can muster. 

Goo just stares at you. Unsure of what to say or do. You’re the exact same. You don’t know if it was a good idea to say everything you were thinking, but you’re hoping it was. The staring game between you and Goo continues for another few seconds before Goo looks away.

“You’re glad everything happened?. I mean everything. Are you serious!?. You kissed me out of nowhere and then said you were going to bed and your GLAD that happened?. Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you” Goo says before he storms out or even gives you a chance to explain. But you’re not going to run after him. You’re sure you’ll be able to talk to him at some other point and be able to clear everything up. But for right now, you have to let him cool off. 

__________

You make your way back to your father’s office. Where you find Gun is still sitting in his chair waiting for you to arrive back. 

“Hi” You say, trying not to startle him. But it’s Gun, you don’t think anything could startle him.

“Have a fun chat with Goo then?” Gun asks.

“You could say that, but no. It was more a conversation we needed to have, but it was left unfinished” You say back.

“Ok. So why did you want to talk to me?” Gun asks curiously. 

“Well I figured that since we haven't talked in 3 weeks and I feel like you’re mad at me. That we needed to have this talk” You say back, getting straight to the point again.

“I’m not mad” Gun says back to you.

“Yes you are” 

“No, I’m not” Gun says again. This time a lot more stern sounding.

“Gun I’ve known you for years, I know when you’re mad. But if you say you’re not made, then you’re upset. So my question is why?” Gun lets out a sigh to your observation.

“Ok I suppose I’m a little upset. But I’m not mad” He eventually says back.

“Ok not mad, just upset. Got it. But why?” You ask.

“Goo” Is all Gun answers with.

“Goo?” You say back, questioning him. You think it’s because they have both had an argument with one another, which is why they also acted more coldly to one another today.

“Yes, Goo” Gun says.

“Elaboration?” You ask. Again unsure of what he means.

“You and Goo. That’s why I’m upset” Gun says back. You have to take a second to register what he’s just said. You and Goo. Wait, YOU and GOO?. Gun’s not upset because he had an argument with Goo. He’s upset because he’s jealous. But just for clarification, you have to ask him because if you don’t, you know you will never get a straight answer from him.

“You're jealous then?” 

“Yes” Gun says straightforwardly. Your eyes go wide because of what he’s just said. But at the back of your mind, you know that this is what you wanted. This was the entire reason that you started to fake date Goo. This. Everything about this. You wanted to happen. But now, you don’t. You know that much like you had just done with Goo, you had to come clean about everything. For your own piece of mind, as well as Gun’s you had to.

“Look” You say, gearing yourself up for what’s about to unfold.

“I have to be honest with you on this one Gun. You know how 3 weeks ago I told you ‘everything’?” You say and Gun nods his head.

“Well, I might have been lying. But only about a few things. I was also really bitchy, so I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry about lying as well. And I’ll tell you the truth, if you want to hear it?” You say, unsure about how he will take it. But also unsure about how he will take another piece of news. 

“By all means, pretell” Gun says.

“Ok. So I was telling the truth about everything, bar one thing. The entire situation played out exactly like I said it did. It rained. I ran down to the subway and every train was delayed. I called my father. I didn’t want to go to a friend's house, so I went to Goo’s. I stayed a few nights. I kissed him and then said I was going to bed. All of that is the truth” You say and Gun nods.

“But what I wasn’t being entirely honest about was the reason for fake dating Goo” Gun nods again, but is curious as to your explanation because he’s now leaning forward in the chair. Ready to hear what you have to say.

“The truth is that I asked Goo to fake date me to make you jealous because I liked you” There, you think. The truth. It’s out now, no taking it back.

“Huh. Well can’t say I saw that coming. But I do appreciate the honesty”

“Why, thank you” You say sarcastically. Feeling a weight lift off your chest.

“But, I also can’t help the fact that you said ‘liked’ me. Past tense” Gun says and your eyes shoot up.

“Huh?” 

“You said you liked me. Again, past tense. So you don’t like me anymore?” Gun questions.

“I. I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t” You say back to Gun surprised that you even said liked. I mean you did still like him, right?. It was only just this morning that you liked both Goo and Gun. But since having that conversation with Goo, you can’t help but think about him.

“Now I'll tell you the truth” Gun says, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“The truth is that I don’t see very many people in a romantic way. I’m sure you’ve gathered that which is why you pulled this stunt, right?” You nod in clarification of his statement.

“Well, that day when I came to get you from Goo’s house I was fine because he told me all about your little scheme. Leaving out a few bits and pieces. But either way when we were in the car and you said that you kissed Goo. I was pissed. That’s when I thought to myself that I may feel something for you. And I did in fact get jealous. When you told me there that you did all of this to get my attention, I was relieved. But then I heard you say liked” You continue to nod, not knowing what to say to any of this. But Gun continues.

“Now I’ll be completely honest with you. You have to admit to yourself that even though you liked me. You don’t like me anymore. With every little petty thing I've done like tell your father about you and Goo. And be snarky about collecting you from Goo’s. You don’t like me anymore. But I also have to admit to myself that in those instances I was jealous. But again. You have to admit to yourself that you don’t like me anymore, It’s Goo you like. Not me. Not after everything” Gun says this and it hits you like a pile of bricks.

All this time, since he talked to your father. He’s been jealous. Which is what you wanted. But now looking back, it made him look like a dick and you hated him for it. That’s when you went running to Goo. That was when your feelings for Goo came from. All this time, you thought you still liked Gun. But really after everything. Especially seeing and talking to both of them today. You’ve realized after Gun’s lecture. That you don’t like Gun anymore. It’s Goo that you have feelings for. It’s Goo that you like. 

__________

“I like Goo” You say out loud.

“I like Goo” You say out loud again, confirming your feelings. 

You then look at Gun, who has a slightly faded smile on his face. You can feel the small amount of pain he feels emanating from him and then you say a quiet ‘sorry’ because you feel guilty, so so guilty about all of this.

You now know that you’ve caused all of this. Every single thing that you’ve done has caused all this pain, all this hurt and you would do anything to change it. But it’s too late now to go back in time and do that, it’s happened and you just have to find a way to fix it.

So, while Gun and yourself are still in your dad’s office, you both sit quietly. You concocting a plan to undo all of this and Gun sitting patiently, waiting and then getting ready to listen to what you have to come up with. You finally hatch an idea. One that you think will have the best outcome on everyone's part.

“Well” You say to Gun.

“Well” Gun says back to you.

“I think I have an idea”

“Hopefully it’s nothing like the last one” Gun says back in a sarcastic manner, smiling while he says it. 

“Ha ha, very funny. But no it’s definitely not like the last one” You say back reassuringly. 

“Thank god for that. So what is it?.” Gun questions.

“Well, firstly, given the fact that it had you and Goo in it to begin with, I don’t want that to happen again. Unless you’re okay with it” You say back to Gun, awaiting his response. 

“Look, as much as last time was a complete fuck up for you, in your so called ‘plan’. I’m fine with helping you this time” Gun says.

“After all, contrary to popular belief, I do want to see you happy. And if that means being with Goo of all people, then I’ll help you” Gun finally says.

You look at Gun and smile with his words. But then what he has just said about Goo click and you start laughing. Gun then joins in and soon you are both laughing with one another.

“Thank you” You say after eventually calming yourself down. “Seriously, thank you” Gun nods at your response and you can’t help but feel like this is reminiscent of so called ‘old times’ you used to spend with him. The exception being that there is a lot more talking going on and he’s not just nodding this time around.

“So, what’s the plan?” Gun questions.

“Well, I was thinking that you could go over to his house and talk to him for a little while. Say it’s for work. Slip in a few questions about him and I…us and see how he reacts” You say back answering his question.

“Hmmm” Gun says back in retaliation to the plan. 

“Why the hmmm?” You ask.

“Well won’t that be a bit suspicious?” 

“Suspicious?. I mean slightly, but even then you could just say some bullshit like you always do and voila, case closed” You say back to him. 

Gun just looks at you with a questioning look. “You think I can just bullshit my way through a conversation?” He finally asks. 

“Yes, yes I do and you’re pretty good at it” You say back to him with a smile on your face and then again, you both burst into laughter. 

“So, what comes after the plan?” Gun asks.

“Well, that part I haven’t exactly figured out yet. But I was thinking that I would give him a week or so to cool down and then talk to him. And my father, about maybe…the possibility of a serious, well, relationship with Goo” Gun looks at you and then smiles back at your answer.

“Aww, getting all sappy now are we?” Gun says back mockingly.

“No” You say firmly “But you did ask didn’t you?. And well, after everything. Mostly with you making me admit that I have feelings for Goo, I actually don’t think it would be a bad thing if we gave things a go. That is if he doesn’t hate me for everything” 

Gun just smirks at what you’re saying. But you can tell he isn’t hurt, he is just genuinely happy that you and his well, rival, best friend in some weird way, whatever they are. You can tell he is just happy for you both and that makes you happy as well.

“So, when are you going to talk to your father about all of this?” Gun asks. 

“Now that, I’m not sure about. I’m also not sure how he will take it or how he will take the whole, you know” You stop talking and then Gun interjects. 

“Fake dating thing?” Gun says finishing your sentence for you.

“Yeah. The whole fake dating thing” You sigh at the end of it, with how much damage you have caused with this entire idea. God, how stupid you are. But you will put it right. You have to put it right in order to get Goo back.

Gun pulls you from your thoughts when he speaks and you almost jump with how startled you are by it. “Your father will be fine with everything, I mean he has to be. Wait, does he not even know that you and Goo ‘broke up’” All you can do is shake your head to his question.

“Well then, I really want to watch that conversation play out” Gun says with yet another smirk on his face. “Oh trust me, I would much rather you be there. But alas, you have a very touchy conversation with Goo to have. Well you are having that conversation on my behalf, but still” You say back, mimicking his sarcasm and adding a smirk onto your face for an extra touch.

Gun just looks at you, unimpressed. But you just look at Gun and mouth the words ‘thank you’ to him. You realize at that moment that neither of you want to breach the silence that has fallen upon the conversation. But it isn’t the type of silence that is awkward, it’s just comforting to you both at this minute. The silence that you both used to have. The silence you used to have before everything became such a mess and you’re glad it’s happening right now, because you know that with this silence again, that everything with you and Gun will be okay.

__________

It has been a couple of days since your conversation with Gun. Since then you have gotten your hair done to try to feel better and to help with your nerves, but it hasn’t worked in the slightest. But today is the day that you are going to tell your father about everything. Every. Single. Thing. 

You have tried to prepare yourself for the inevitable conversation. You’ve come up with so many different outcomes. You’ve come up with how the conversation will start and end. You’ve come up with how you’re even going to lead into the topic of everything, but each time it just makes you more nervous. 

You made sure a few days ago that your father would be free when you went to talk to him. But since then, you really have been trying to mentally prepare yourself, to no avail though. So as you’re walking down the hallway getting ready to enter his office, you freeze just outside the door and take one final deep breath in to attempt to calm your nerves and much like you figured it would, it has not helped.

“Hi dad” You say as you enter his office. 

“Hi” He says back in his firm but yet fatherly voice.

“So what is it that you wanted?” He asks. 

“Well, about that” You pause for a moment and he raises his eyebrows at you curiously.

“It’s about…well, there's a lot I want to talk to you about” You finally say and with that, you now have his full undivided attention on you.

“Go on” He says, making you more nervous.

“Okay. So you umm..well you remember that Goo and I were dating right?” 

“Yes” 

“Well, that wasn’t exactly true” You say to him while looking down at your hands fiddling with your fingers. 

“Go on” You eventually hear back.

“You know what, it’s a long story. It can wait for another time. Sorry to bother you” You say back to him, too nervous and scared to tell him that truth. But as you go to stand up, he stands first. You remain seated until he walks around his desk, takes a chair and pulls it over to where you are sat. Instinctively, you turn your chair towards him.

Then suddenly he smiles at you and takes your hands. You always forget that the man sitting in front of you is your father, since he is always so strict and firm with everyone else. But in every other term, he is your father. So now with this, you feel a lot more at ease with telling him. 

“Go on” He says to you.

“Well, the entire thing with Goo and I was fake. We never really dated, at all. It only came into fruition the night of your event actually. The truth is that I came up with this plan” You pause there, preparing yourself for what you’re about to say.

“Plan?” Your father eventually asks after a long, drawn out pause from you.

“Yes, a plan. The thing is that before that night, I had liked Gun for so many years. Too many now that I think about it. But he just intrigued me so much. So that night I asked Goo to have a conversation with me and in that conversation I told him the plan that I wanted to put into place. I told him that I wanted us to fake date in order to make Gun jealous” As you’ve just admitted all of this your father is sat in the other chair nodding and taking everything in. So given that it is going somewhat well in your eyes so far, you continue.

“So, that night Gun came into the room. Found Goo and I and because Goo is well…Goo, he decided to have a little fun and play along. So he told Gun that we had been going out for some time and then we kissed to prove it. The very next day, that is when we had our conversation. Then I went out, walked about for a little while and got trapped in the center of Seoul. Everything I said on the phone that night was true, apart from where I was staying” You inhale a deep breath but you can already tell that your father has figured out where this is going.

“You stayed at Goo’s house?” He asks. You nod in response. 

“Can I ask why you lied?” 

“Well, the truth is that I didn’t think it would be appropriate to show up at one of my friends' doors and ask to stay the night on such short notice, soaking wet, cold and not having anything to wear for the next day. So I guess, well I figured that since Goo was then the closest person to the area that I would walk to his apartment and hope to god that he would answer the door. And it’s also because I didn’t want to come home that night. I really just needed time to cool down and digest everything. I mean it was a small lie, a stupid plan and then you found out and reacted how you did. I just couldn’t be around it. I’m so sorry” You say.

Your father squeezes your hand in reassurance that he isn’t angry with you, not in the least. But you still feel so guilty for lying to him. 

“So, what happened after?” He questions you again.

“I went, knocked on his door and he was there. He let me in. I showered and he came back with some stuff for me. I mean he was really sweet in the entire thing. After that we drank some wine, had a conversation and then went to bed” 

“Is there more?” “A hell of a lot more, yes. The next day I called you, remember?” Your father nods in response. “Everything I said on the call was true. I did need some more space from you but I just lied about where I was. Then as the day went on everything was fine. But then Goo left to go do a job for you and he left a note. It had an ‘x’ at the bottom of it and he had this picture when we were at the theme park. I fell asleep that day and when he came back I woke up, we had this entire conversation about everything and it kinda ended in me kissing him and then the only thing I could say after that was ‘I’m going to bed’” You stop and try to catch your breath. It didn’t register how fast you were talking just then and with everything you just revealed to your father, you don’t want to stop there. So just as fast as you assume you stopped speaking, you start again. 

“After that, the next day he called Gun to come and get me. Gun brought me back and had a few words to say to me. They both were so pissed off at me about everything. So then 3 weeks went by, no texts, no calls, no communication whatsoever with any of them. Then 3 days ago now we had that meeting and everything kind of came to a head. I had a conversation with Goo and he flipped out on me because I really hurt him. Then he left. After that I had a conversation with Gun and I found out that my plan worked. But he made me realize that by that point, it wasn’t him that I liked, it was Goo. So now we have this entire other plan of him trying to talk to Goo and slip things in about me and that I have no idea on my end what to do. But I wanted to tell you. I wanted to be honest with you because I don’t want to mess up again. I really like Goo and I just don’t want to mess up” 

Now everything is out in the open. You have no clue how your father is going to react to your confession but you’re hoping he isn’t too mad at anyone involved. 

“That’s quite the story. One hell of a story actually. One that I didn’t expect. But I'm glad you told me. And if you’re wondering, I'm not mad at you” You look up after he says this and all of a sudden you feel your nausea fade away. You hadn’t registered just how ill you were feeling until this very moment. But then it had faded away and you felt better. 

Your father then stands up and puts the chair back in it’s place and then stands in front of you. A tell tale sign that he wants you to do the same and so you do. Suddenly, you are engulfed in a hug. And you hug him back just as tightly as he is hugging you.

“All I have to say is, thank you for telling me the truth. And if you do like Goo as much as I think you do, don’t fuck it up this time if you get another chance” With that being said and your father letting you go. You make a swift exit and go back to your room to decide on a plan of what’s to come. A plan that you’re hoping will work. 

__________

A few days after the conversation with your father, you have filled Gun in on the plan that you hope will go well and today is the day it will come into play. Still sticking to the original plan, Gun will go around and talk to Goo, throwing in a few questions about yourself in the process. Then Gun will ask Goo to a dinner to discuss what your father had said previously when all 3 of you had the meeting about 5 days ago and you will show up in his place. Hopefully everything will go well and then you can discuss everything with Goo, resulting in a happy ending.

But since this morning you have been frantically pacing about your room, thinking about everything. You have called Gun about 2 times already to make sure he’s aware of what he needs to do and both times he has responded with ‘I know the plan, don’t worry’. Now you’re onto texting him. But you haven’t received a reply back and that’s worrying you. 

20 minutes of pacing later you hear the signature *ding* of your phone. You run and grab it from your bed and it is a text from Gun. 

*I’ve just arrived. Don’t worry, everything will be fine, it's just like we went over. I’ll let you know how it goes.*

*Okay.* is the only thing you can respond with given how anxious you are. Now with that it’s just a waiting game to see how everything plays out.

_

“Well” Gun says, stepping into Goo’s apartment. “How has everything been”

“Amazing” Goo replies rather nastily. 

“As pleasant as always I can tell”

“Ha ha, very funny. Now just sit down so we can get this over and done with” Gun obliges to the somewhat command-like comment and sits.

“So, what did you want to go over?” Goo says with a still rather hateful tone in his voice and Gun can’t distinguish whether it’s from his presence or because of you.

“Firstly, why the dick attitude of yours?. I mean you’re always a dick, but amazingly enough, this is a whole other level” Gun asks curiously. 

“Oh fuck off, this is how I normally am. Can’t you tell?” Goo replies back, now even more aggravated.

“Mhm. So this little attitude of yours wouldn’t have anything to do with you know who?” Goo just scoffs.

“No it doesn’t have anything to do with her if you must know” 

“Right. So no bitter feeling, no pining for her, nothing of that sort going on right now?” Gun asks, attempting to make Goo more annoyed because he knows this is the best way to get answers out of him.

“Again. NO” Goo shouts the last part.

“Wow, touchy. But even in saying no, it’s a yes. Got it” 

“You know what, fuck off if you’re going to be like that”

“Be like what?” Gun replies, acting oblivious. 

“Oh I don’t know. Curious, nosey, intrusive or just sticking your nose somewhere it doesn’t belong” Goo retorts back.

“Right. So you are upset then. God I couldn’t tell” 

“Oh fuck off. I mean seriously, you would be too”

“Trust me, given what I’ve heard from her and the entire little plan that she concocted, yeah I’m pissed. But seriously the thing she did to you, that’s just laughable” Gun says tauntingly. 

“Right and you’ve hear everything” 

“That’s right” Gun replies back calmly. Goo turns around at this and raises his eyebrows, not needing to ask the question ‘seriously?’ for Gun to understand what he was going to say. So Gun just nods.

“Well then. Looks like you guys are happy again” 

“Were friends again if that’s what you mean” 

“Right…friends” Goo replies back, now getting agitated. 

“You seem bothered. Want to tell me why?” Gun says, provoking Goo even more. 

Then after a few seconds, Gun sees a glass flying towards his head and after that Goo goes in for a punch. They have a small scuffle on the floor for a good few minutes, both landing punches on one another until Goo finally stops and stands. Gun does the same and they both wipe themselves down before sitting on the sofa.

“This is bullshit” Goo says. “All of this is fucking bullshit” 

“Clarification?” Gun asks curiously.

“Her and me. Me and her. God, it’s bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit” 

“Aww so you are upset” Gun mocks. Goo just looks at him for a moment before taking in his surroundings and Gun assumes he doesn’t want to break his expensive furniture. 

“Look just fuck off, I’m not in the mood” Goo says back.

“Listen. I don’t really care all that much. But, for what it’s worth. She is sorry” Gun says as he stands up to leave. 

But as he walks towards the door and reaches for the handle Goo suddenly asks something.

“Really?” 

“Yeah”

“Also what happened to talking about the meeting?” Goo questions.

“We can go over it another time. Clearly, you’re not in the right headspace” And with that Gun leaves Goo’s apartment.

_

Another *ding* on your phone makes you jump as you have just sat down to think about everything for the millionth time. It’s from Gun again. Much like last time you open it at lightning speed.

*Half the plan worked. Very well actually. The other half, not so much*

*What do you mean by half?. What half.* You reply back.

*Dinner didn’t work out. I didn’t even ask. But he is pissed about you and everything you have done. Like seriously, a little provoking and we were having a small fight on the floor.*

*What?.*

*Seriously. He is pissed*

*Also, if you ask me again to go back over there, my answer is no. I am NOT putting up with him again. At least not until it’s necessary.* 

*Got it. Thank you for doing half of the plan though. But what should I do now?.* You ask.

*Talk to him.* 

And with that you are left bewildered. Goo doesn’t want to talk to you and from what Gun has just texted you he’s so pissed off that he’s willing to throw punches. 

A few hours of deliberating later and you still have no idea what to do. Clearly he’s annoyed and hurt and you're pretty sure you’re the last person he wants to see or even hear from right now. So you decide to leave it. Wait for everything to settle down and then you will try to talk to him.

__________

Another few weeks have passed. Now this marks almost a month of not speaking to Goo. Even now you’re still not sure what to do. Since the day that everything came to a head, you’ve seen him a handful of times. Always leaving your father’s office after a meeting and once in the kitchen making a coffee. You didn’t even attempt to talk to him and you’re sure he hadn’t even acknowledged your presence. 

Much like when you tried to put the plan into place with Gun, you continue to berate him about what you should do. It always ends with him saying ‘talk to him’. But you can’t bring yourself to do that.

Now after a few days since the last meeting and talking to your father about everything else that has happened. Your father has told you that Goo will be over in a few hours since he needs to speak to him again, this time on his own. You just replied with an ‘okay’ and told him that you’ll stay out their way. Mostly meaning Goo.

After the few hours are over with, you assume that everything is said and done and that Goo has left. So you go downstairs to find your father.

“DAD” You scream, waiting to hear a response back so you can go to it. But, nothing.

“DAD” You scream again, this time trying to be as loud as possible. But still, nothing. You’re about to scream a third time before you hear a voice shout from the kitchen. 

“He’s not here” 

It’s Goo. Wait, what is Goo doing here, he should be gone by now. You question to yourself. But nonetheless you go to the kitchen because you have a few questions. Such as ‘Where is my dad?’.

As you enter the kitchen. Sure enough, sat on a stool, you see Goo. You furrow your eyebrows questioningly and then walk towards him. 

“So, why are you here? I thought you left” You ask Goo, not expecting a reply.

“Your father. Said he was going away for a few hours. Gun’s out on a job and your father wanted someone to watch you” Goo replies, answering all your questions in one go. 

“Great” You reply back coldly. Then with that, the room falls silent again. So you go and make yourself a coffee while you're here. You grab the kettle, fill it up, place it back down and click it so it starts to boil. Then you turn around, fold your arms across your chest and lean against the counter, just staring at Goo.

Suddenly, Goo looks up and straight at you. Making you freeze for a moment. But then he climbs off his stool and starts walking over to you. All of a sudden your eyes grow wide and you feel your heartbeat quicken in pace. 

Then in a swift flash, Goo is stood in front of you. He then reaches towards you and instinctively you close your eyes. Then suddenly you hear a cupboard door open and some sort of plate being taken out. You open your eyes again and Goo is leaning over you with a bowl in hand. Suddenly he looks down at you and speaks.

“Can you move, I need a spoon” 

You blink for a moment before moving and now you’re trying to hold your tongue. But you can’t for much longer after he grabs a spoon and heads back.

“Seriously, are you still this pissed off?” You ask him annoyed.

“Annoyed?. Annoyed about what?.” Goo asks unbothered.

“Seriously?” You question.

“Yes, seriously” 

“You really are such a dick, you know that right?”

“Oh, so I’m a dick now?” Goo replies back angrily.

“Yes. I mean seriously. I let you cool down, I didn’t talk to you given the circumstances and the only words that you say to me is first why my dad left and then you say ‘can you move, I need a spoon’. I mean what the fuck, really?” You say back, now getting angry yourself.

“Oh I’m every so very sorry princess” Goo says back tauntingly.

“You know how much I hate that nickname, so stop fucking using it” 

By this point you don’t notice that Goo has put down the bowl and spoon. You also don’t conceive the fact that you have slowly been moving closer to Goo, who is just standing round at the opposite side of the counter. And within a few seconds you are face to face screaming at one another.

This goes on for a few minutes before you eventually just scream out something that halts Goo in his tracks.

“At least I wasn't fighting with Gun because I couldn’t handle how hurt or even jealous I was” All of a sudden, silence. You both look at each other and then you step back and look down. You feel bad that you’ve just admitted to knowing about what Gun and Goo had talked about. But you also just crossed a line by assuming things. 

“How do you know about that?” Goo asks. 

“Who do you think, Gun told me. I kinda asked him to tell me what you talked about if I came up in conversation” There’s a long pause before either of you speak again, but just as you do there’s a click. It’s the front door.

“Anyone here?” It’s Gun who’s just arrived. 

“In here” Goo shouts back.

Once Gun walks into the kitchen and sees both you and Goo almost face to face he smirks and then asks rather snarkily “Lovers quarrel?” with a smirk on his face. With that you look at both of them, completely ignoring the fact that you wanted coffee and head back up to your room. You then hear the door slam and an engine start. You can tell it’s Goo’s car and then it fades away as it grows silent again. 

About 10 minutes later footsteps come up the stairs and then there is a knock at your door. Begrudgingly you answer it and it’s Gun.

“What do you want?” You ask annoyed.

“Sorry” Gun says. You sigh at this and let him in, he just goes and sits on the bed. 

“It’s fine, I just overreacted a little” 

“I mean yes, you did. But what was that, with you and Goo?” 

“We had an argument”

“Oh. So you’re talking now” 

“No. Definitely not talking”

“Okay, sure. Anyways, I'm not staying here” “But what about my dad?” You ask.

“Just tell him that Goo left a couple of minutes before he got back” Gun retorts.

“Sure thing” 

Then with that Gun leaves and you hear a click from the front door locking and another car engine starts and you hear it slowly fade. Then you’re alone. You think about everything that has just happened and how much it has hurt you. *Ding*. You pick up your phone assuming that it is Gun who is texting you until you read the name. *Piss head*. It’s Goo. You open the text quickly and read it.

*Sorry for the argument. Can you come to my apartment tomorrow, we need to talk* 

Now your head is really spinning.

*Sure* 

Is your reply and then you prepare yourself for tomorrow.

__________

You could barely sleep last night because you were thinking about the text from Goo. Your anxiety crept up on you when you were about to go to sleep then suddenly all you thought about was Goo. What does he want?. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?. God, even now you’re a nervous wreck thinking about it. But you leave at 2pm and your Gun will drive you.

You told your dad about everything when he got in and he nodded along as you were telling him. But when he walked into his office you saw a smile set across his face. Clearly he’s happy for you but doesn’t want to admit it. 

You check the time quickly to see how long you have until you get picked up by Gun. Suddenly you realize you overslept and it’s 1pm. Where did the time go and why didn’t you hear your alarms is all you ask yourself before you’re rushing to find an outfit and shower.

After showering and doing all the necessary things like brushing your teeth and hair, putting on your clothes. You check the time again and suddenly you hear a car horn. 1:49pm. That will be Gun. You got ready just in time you think and now you’re off to go and see Goo.

You walk outside and get in Gun’s car. Clipping in your seatbelt as soon as you sit down, then the anxiety wears away and the nausea hits. You really wish you had taken some sort of pain meds before you left. Maybe they would have dulled down the ill feeling in your stomach.

“You good?” Gun asks. 

“I feel like I’m going to throw up” You say back to him. He leans over, opens the glove compartment and then there is some medication. You look at him, smile and then reach for the medication. Popping out 2 pills while Gun hands you his half drunk bottle of water, but you don’t care. You just want to take these and hope everything goes well. 

“So, nervous I take it” 

“How could you tell?” You ask back sarcastically.

“Oh you know, this and that” 

“Ha ha” You respond back. Then there's a jolt and suddenly you recognize that Gun has started driving. 

“Do you by any chance know what he wants?” You ask Gun, hoping for a best case scenario where he knows everything. 

“Not a single idea” 

“God. Why couldn’t you know something” You almost whine this out. 

“Just have to go in blind”

“You know I hate not having even a slight inkling into what’s about to occur. So frankly, this is my worst nightmare playing out” 

“Such a shame. I would pity you if it wasn’t slightly funny” Gun says back now stifling back laughter. 

“Such an ass” You retort back and that makes Gun laugh. 

The drive isn’t long but it is silent after you almost threw up after going over a speed bump. Then you arrive at Goo’s apartment. You let out a deep sight before looking over at Gun and giving him a not then getting out. Closing the door behind you, you look up and feel the irony in the situation. 

You wait for Gun to leave and then walk towards the entrance. Once you’re in the lobby you make your way to the elevator and step inside. You remember the floor number this time, press it and wait as it slowly climbs up the floors. It’s so slow that it’s almost painful as it climbs up. Then it stops and the doors open. 

You let out another sigh before exiting the elevator and walking to Goo’s door. You wait for a minute before you ask yourself again why you’re here or what are you doing. But you can’t be bothered to fight it anymore and give in. Recognising you’re already here, you know you can’t turn back and so you knock on Goo’s door and wait for an answer.

Suddenly the door opens and Goo appears in front. He moves out the way and motion with his hand to come in and sure enough you walk in. 

“Sorry” He says.

“About what?” You ask.

“About yesterday” 

“Just about yesterday?” You ask him.

“No, not just about yesterday” You just nod as he talks. 

“Well at least you’re speaking to me now” 

“I could say the same thing about you” Goo says back.

“Well, I thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me”

“And why is that?” Goo questions. 

“I mean, given everything, I think you understand why” Goo nods as you say this but then you see a smile come across his face. 

“I you really want to know, I’m glad we’re talking again”

“Me too” 

You both sit for an hour or two talking about this and that, but you know sooner or later that you will have to have a serious talk about what really happened between you both. But before that Goo gets up and asks if you want a pizza and you nod vigorously and say yes.

It’s about 6pm by the time the pizza gets there and you both stop talking to eat. You get the plates and Goo brings out wine again. Then you start to reminisce on the night that Goo said ‘what if i’ve never hated you’ and then you look at him for a moment, happy and content, pouring out wine for you both with an ordered in pizza sat in front of you both. 

You place the plates down. Take your seat and then Goo hands you the wine. You think before taking a sip and then place it down, thinking about the conversations to come and you want to be sober for it. You both eat and drink and then after it’s finished, you take the plate and clean them while Goo dries the dishes. You aren’t saying a word to one another, you aren’t even looking at each other, but yet you can tell that both of you feel so content.

And so once everything is done and before you sit back down on the sofa you tell Goo that you have to make a call or 2. The first person you call is your father, telling him that you won’t be back tonight and that you’re planning on staying over at Goo’s talking. He doesn’t like the idea, but he’s not going to stop you, after being so truthful to him this past week. Then you call Gun, explaining the situation and trying to be questioned so much by him. But even through the phone you can feel the ever growing smirk on his face and then you hang up and everything is dealt with. 

Then again, you start to reminisce on how similar this is to how you first got to talking. The phone calls you made, staying overnight, having wine and then having conversations that turned into something so deep that not even you, yourself imagined it would. At least not with Goo. But here you are again, you think to yourself. Back in the same position, just without the storm and wet clothes. 

You go over and sit back down beside Goo. Letting out another sigh before you have to face the music and the conversations that will happen. But first you feel like you should let him know that you may or may not have told both your father and Gun that you will more than likely stay over tonight without mentioning it to the apartment's owner.

“ Goo” You say.

“What’s up” 

“Do you mind if I stay tonight?” 

“Why?” 

“Well, I kind of canceled my ride and told my dad I would be staying over here because we do have a lot to talk about” You answer back.

“That is true. So, are we going to get started on the talks or are we just going to keep tiptoeing around it?” Goo asks suddenly. 

“Well, let’s start” You say back to him.

“Great” He says. 

“So. Why the shouting match yesterday and how did you get Gun to tell you about the conversation and fight that he and I had?” 

“The shouting match was because you were a dick. A month of no conversation and then tell me to move because you need a spoon. I mean seriously Goo a SPOON?” You say rather annoyedly. 

“But as for how I found out about the conversation, I may have set up another plan with Gun this time to try and get you to talk to me again..” 

“You did what?” Goo asks surprised.

“Yeah..I asked him if he would come over here and talk about the meeting we had a few weeks back. Then I asked him if maybe, just maybe he could slip in a few questions about me and see how that goes. But I swear all he told me was that you were annoyed and jealous and all you went on about was me, then there was a fight and overall from what I gathered, it was a mess” “Well you’re right about that. It was a complete mess” 

“Yeah. I figured as much” You say, laughing slightly. 

“But as for everything else. It’s also true what he said. I mean I was so pissed off about everything, but mainly about you that even when he came in here I had an attitude on me” Goo says. 

“Well. That’s slightly comforting to know. But still I absolutely hate myself for what happened between us. Well between all 3 of us. But mainly you and I” You say suddenly. Goo then looks at you for a moment before seeing that you are telling the truth.

“Really?” He asks, almost unsure what to think.

“Yes really. I regret that entire plan of making Gun jealous. I regret how I put you two against one another and I regret hurting you in the process of my own selfish actions” 

“Good to hear. But what about what you said in the kitchen that day that we talked, the day of the meeting?” Goo asks.

“Well truth be told I still stand by exactly what I said. I’m glad everything happened like that between us, but at the time I wasn’t entirely sure why until I had a conversation with Gun after you left” 

“And what conversation would that be?” Goo asks curiously.

“Well I told him about everything. The fake dating plan. Me wanting to go out with him, blah, blah, blah. You know the deal by now. But what really got me was when I said I liked Gun and Gun pointed that out. Going on to say a little monologue about how he did see me as a potential partner, this and that and then he said that I don’t feel the same way anymore because he was a complete dick” At this Goo tilts his head curious as to what you mean. 

“What I mean is that he pointed out that I didn’t like him and I hadn’t liked him since coming back from this apartment. Your apartment” You say to Goo. He goes silent for a moment and then the pieces click in his head. 

“Hold on. Let me get this straight. You mean to say that you liked Gun for years and once you actually got him jealous and he started becoming a dick, you didn’t like him anymore” Goo asks almost as a confirmation. 

“Yes” You say.

“Then once I called Gun to pick you up and drag you back, even after everything that happened. You didn’t like him anymore?” 

“Yes” You say again. 

“And what’s more is that you and Gun had a conversation where you said you liked him and he pointed it out and then what?. You realized that it was..” Goo stops before continuing, not wanting to be wrong in what he is assuming. 

“Yes. At that moment when I said that to Gun and he pointed it out saying a few certain things, it clicked. It clicked to me why I said that I was going to bed instead of kissing you again and again or even staying up and talking until the sun came up. It’s because I like you Goo and don’t ask me why because I don’t know. I have absolutely no clue. But yes. I like you” You finally say. Confirming everything that Goo was thinking. Or at least you're hoping so.

Goo stops for what feels like a few hours and then he just looks at you, until he breaks his eye contact. Then he looks at the glass of wine and drinks it all down in one. You’re trying not to smile at this because it’s so funny it's almost comedic. But then after only a minute he speaks. 

“I’m so sorry i’ve been such a fucking dick. You were right. This entire time I have been a dick and what’s more I hate myself for it. But Gun was also right in saying that I was jealous when he came here that day. That’s why I started a fight with him because I thought that he would win you over and I just didn’t want to see that happen. But at the same time I didn’t want to talk to you because I was pissed. So fucking pissed. But now…” Goo just stops speaking and looks at you. Smiling from ear to ear like an idiot. All you can do though is do the exact same thing back and then the laughter happens. 

You both laugh for 15 minutes. You’re crying from it and Goo is doubled over holding his stomach from it cramping up from laughing so hard and then you eventually stop and wait for Goo to do the same. After he does stop laughing, you both just look at each other and then Goo stands up. You do the same, except you move towards him and once you’re close enough to him, you wrap your arms around him, hugging him. 

He hugs you back and you stay like that for a good few minutes. Neither of you wanting to be the first to let go. But then Goo is the first one to break the connection, but in the best way possible. He cups your cheeks and kisses you and you kiss him back. You pull away and kiss each other again and again. Eventually you get slightly tired and so by that point you break away from him and say. 

“I’m tired right now. So I’m going to go to bed” With that being said you both burst into laughter at how stupid you both are. All these plans and misunderstanding and yet with a simple conversation, everything was solved. 

Goo runs up to his bedroom and brings down a shirt and sweatpants for you to wear and you go and get changed. When you come out of the bathroom he is lying on the sofa the exact same way he was when you first slept over that one fateful night. And so you crawl into his arms and he throws the blanket over you. Kissing you on the back of the neck goodnight. 

You wake up the next morning happy as can be. Then before you know it one night turns into two, two turns into three and three turns into a week. Until four months later you have a few boxes left to move that Gun is helping you with. Then you will officially have moved into Goo’s apartment. 

“Well looks like you’re moving in” Goo says sarcastically. 

“Wasn’t that always the plan?” You say sarcastically back to Goo, with a smile on your face. 

“I guess it might have been” Goo says, moving over to you and hugging you as you put the last box down. You smile up at Goo and then see that he is dangling something in his hand.

“Your house keys princess” Go says with a smirk on his face. Meanwhile you know you look unimpressed with that nickname. But it has grown on you over these past few months. 

“Great” You say. “I’ll be taking those '' As you take the keys out of Goo’s hand. You look up at him after taking them and smile again. Goo then leans down and kisses you and you kiss him back. 

“I love you” Goo says to you.

“I love you too” You say back to Goo.

#lookism headcanons #lookism hc #lookism #lookism x reader #goo kim x reader #goo lookism #lookism goo #kim joongoo x reader #kim joongoo #goo kim #lookism fic #lookism fanfic #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #manhwa #webtoon #gun park #park jonggun

[navnae]

Imagine Eddie leaving a review at every job Steve had worked at and goes out of his way to say how the service was fantastic because of the cute employee that works there, Steve blushes every time he reads it.

-

“Read this one, ‘the cutie that served me ice cream today was so sweet, I’ll definitely be stopping by again!’ Or this one ‘came back to get some ice cream sadly the cutie that’s usually there he wasn’t today still good service though.’ Steve are you seeing this?” Robin asked while pointing to her phone. Steve covered his blushing face and swatted Robin’s phone away.

“Rob please! I can’t take it anymore.” Steve wanted this to stop immediately. Robin has brought the online reviews to his attention and one customer specifically loves talking about him. Which he hated because he always got flustered because of it.

“I think you want to hear this one, ‘went to scoops today and the service was just top notch! The girl who works there is so sweet and naturally funny-“

“You’re just reading a review about you.” Steve interrupted. He earned an eye roll from Robin.

“Conceited much? I’m getting to that part ‘but her coworker just took the night away for me. He was also naturally funny, captivating, kind, and overall a beautiful soul that made my experience an unforgettable one.” Robin finished. Steve couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. That’s probably the sweetest thing he’s heard from anyone.

“Okay that’s kind of sweet.” Steve said shyly.

“They also added ‘the uniform is doing him justice, what a nice piece of eye candy while enjoying some sweet ol ice cream on the side’ huh… I think you have an admirer Steve.” Robin raised her eyebrows in a playful flirtatious way. Steve shook his head quickly dismissing the idea of anything of the sort.

“I don’t have an admirer. If anything that sounds like a loyal customer to me.” Steve replied while crossing his arms. Robin started laughing making Steve turn to her with confusion.

“Loyal is the right word because recently they’ve left comments on the family video website too.” Robin said in between laughs. Steve’s eyes widened once he processed what she was saying.

“What are you talking about?” Steve asked. Robin turned her phone towards him and his eyes scanned the comments that were about him. Steve wondered who this person could be, was it someone he knew by any chance?

“Listen to this one it was posted yesterday, ‘came in early in the morning to get a new set of movies and the cutie with the best personality was working that morning, already starting my day off just right.’ You have to find out who this person is they’re actually in love with you.” Robin teased.

“No one is in love with me. Now can we please get back to work?” Steve blurted out. Robin raised her hands to surrender then went to the back to straighten up a few things in the storage closet.

Steve stayed at the front of the store behind the counter to keep an eye out for the register and if anyone bothered to come in. He was also keeping his eye out for the anonymous commenter because curiosity got the best of him. Depending on who the customer was he might just add a little bit of enthusiasm to the conversation to keep the ball rolling and if they commented about their conversation specifically then he would know who it is. This idea floated in his head for awhile until the door of the store flew open ringing the bell. Steve looked up to see Eddie coming in with a big smile on his face. Occasionally Eddie would pop up to get some movies and kill the little bit of time he wanted to waste by talking to Steve until another customer came in. Eddie walked towards the counter and placed his elbow on it then put his chin in the palm of his hand.

“Morning, Harrington. Everything going smooth?” Eddie asked sweetly. Steve didn’t know why but he felt butterflies in his stomach when Eddie stared talking. The change in his voice so quickly just caught him off guard.

“Y-yeah it’s not really busy around here in the morning and I’m thankful for that.” Steve joked. Eddie laughed softly while looking down at the counter then met Steve’s eyes. Steve could feel his heart beating so hard in his chest that he had to look away or he might actually die. “Um… so what are you looking for today?”

“Actually I came to see you. Maybe this weekend we can hangout and watch some movies, drink, smoke, get fat off of popcorn. How does that sound?” Eddie leaned in a little as he asked the question. Steve’s mind went blank for a few seconds before managing to snap out of his thoughts.

“Sounds good, text me the time and I’ll be there.” Steve said happily. Eddie smiled and bit his lip while taking his elbow off the counter.

“Definitely. See ya then cutie.” Eddie said before winking then exiting the store. Steve laughed it off. He was used to Eddie being as flirty as possible whenever he was around Steve.

Now Steve had to focus on the task at hand, who was the anonymous commenter?

-

Edit: WOAH! I didn’t expect people to actually enjoy and want more??? But I will definitely give a follow up story! Also this is modern day I forgot to mention that 😅

#steddie #short story #short prompt #they have my heart #god i love them #so sweet #my babies #they deserved better #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #help lol #idk what else to tag #please #come on #manifesting #power #so cuuuute #i cant 😭😭 #i’m a softie #i’m a mess #help #this is funny af #oop #I’m tired #I’m sleepy #exhausted #welp #i’ll be here #steddie fanfiction

[weaselandfriends]

Don't suppose you've seen Gen Urobuchi's recent movie on Netflix, Bubble? It has a lot of Madoka Magica DNA, because of course it does—but it's surprisingly bloodless for one of his stories. For that reason, I can't imagine you'd like it, but it occurred to me that its premise, with boys surviving out in the world while playing a competitive sport, had very similar vibes to some of the themes you've discussed regarding your upcoming Pokémon fic!

I have not seen Bubble. I'm honestly awful at watching new stuff as it comes out, though like everyone else I am currently watching Frieren (and I saw Oshi no Ko last season).

As far as Urobuchi goes, I've honestly not been too impressed by the rest of his oeuvre. What I've seen includes:

Fate/Zero: Falls off hard in the second half, though the reason for this might have more to do with being a prequel than any particular decisions Urobuchi himself made

Phantom Requiem for the Phantom: Ignore the awesome name, this is so boring, also has a terrible Dice Guy villain (I'll explain what this means); however, the ending (like the last five minutes) is strong

Psycho-Pass: Another outrageous Dice Guy villain, slow start, though it picks up near the end

Saya no Uta: I actually like this, it's good

Now what is a Dice Guy? This is a term I coined when watching the extremely bad anime Akuma no Riddle. In this anime, there is a character who barely ever interacts with the plot, but rather stays in the background, sitting in a shadowy room, from which he ostensibly exerts some puppetmaster-style control over the events unfolding. The show frequently cuts to this character as he monologues to himself about deep-sounding philosophical topics such as the nature of fate and chance, topics he emphasizes by a fixation with a pair of dice he constantly rolls. For instance, at once point he might say something like "Fate is... a roll of the dice," and then roll his dice. (I parodied this specific guy in Cockatiel x Chameleon via the company boss Harper meets near the end of the story.)

Though it's not always dice specifically that the Dice Guy plays with as he rambles about intellectual-sounding topics in the most surface-level ways imaginable, the core conceit is similar, and Urobuchi loves this type of guy to no end. Psycho-Pass's villain, for instance, is constantly monologuing about and quoting literature; Phantom Requiem for the Phantom's villain has a similar fixation with theater, likening the events of the story to performances in a play.

I hate these guys. They're insufferable. And they plague Urobuchi's work. Kyubey would probably have wound up a dice guy if the necessities of Madoka's plot structure didn't leave him only ambiguously villainous for most of the story. He does, after all, fill the role of a shadowy puppetmaster. I'm imagining a world where Kyubey's speech likening magical girls to cattle isn't a one-off moment but the core defining motif of his character, and I shiver.

While a lot of fans in the space attribute Madoka entirely to Urobuchi, I like to point out that Madoka also had an auteur director at the helm with his own distinct creative vision: Akiyuki Shinbo, the mastermind behind everything produced by Studio Shaft. I think Shinbo and Urobuchi both limited some of the other's more indulgent practices, and it is specifically in their collaboration that something as uniquely special as Madoka Magica could come about.

Anyway, I apologize for going on this diatribe/rant, but I feel bad answering a question sent to me with a simple "No," so I gave you this instead. Enjoy?

#puella magi madoka magica #madoka magica #pmmm #gen urobuchi #akiyuki shinbo #dice guy #phantom requiem for the phantom #psycho-pass #anime #akuma no riddle

[pendulum-sonata]

1 and 21.

1. Character that everyone gets wrong.

Lol, we're starting with the heavy weaponry aren't we? You know? To spice things a little bit, I'm gonna choose an Arc V character and a Kubera character, even though only one of my mutuals reads the last one >.>

Arc V

Well... as much as I would like to say Reiji again, I think I've established enough times how misinterpreted his character is, so this time I'll choose...

Ray Akaba, I wasn't even aware that there were still people around who apparently hate her so much, that they would call for the "Ray hater nation" or whatever, I'm not gonna mention who it was but it was very recent, which honestly makes me remember that one tweet pointing out how silly people sound when they justify not liking badly written female character, how they'd supposedly love them if they were better written, when they couldn't handle any of them having one bad feeling for they boyfavs.

And that's really all there sees to be behind A LOT of the Ray hate going around: They hate her because canonically she defeated Zarc and she split him and then split herself to chase him across dimensions, and hate that she was the one who had to give the coup of grace in the duel against him.

They hate that canonically, Ray is one of the best duelist in the yugiohverse, and they will pull the weirdest excuses out of their backside to justify why she's the worst, how she was "too conceited" to believe she could take Zarc on her on, like excuse me, she absolutely took him down, TWICE, not sure what series you were watching, how she supposedly pulled a deus ex machina with the En Cards, as if the requirements to use them weren't ridiculously difficult to meet and wouldn't require a very skilled duelist, how she was dumb for sparing Leo because he caused an wat to bring her back, like, sweetie, the world would have ended anyway because with or without Leo, Zarc would have awakened eventually, that's why Ray set herself to always chase him down and defeat him over and over, like honestly i could dedicate a whole rant essay to the ridiculous claims I've seen made about her.

But the one thing everyone ALWAYS gets wrong is this, and I'm gonna put it in all caps and bold text because it needs to be said:

RAY ALONG WITH ZARC CREATED THE PENDULUM SUMMON AND THE PENDULUM CARDS!!

(AND VERY LIKELY ALSO YUYA'S PENDULUM NECKLACE)

Seriously people, this isn't rocket science, the entirety of the 6th opening and ending is FULL of visual cues about how the both of them did it, we have visuals of Yuya and Yuzu forming the energy for the Pendulum, we know Ray was able to create and give cards to Reira in her spirit-like form, heck, lately the card game has released a bunch of cards that attach the word pendulum to Ray as well, come on.

And that's just something that a large portion of the fandom always gets wrong about her.

Kubera

For this webtoon there is way too many people with the worst takes on many characters, befitting as the characterization of the story is very complex and well-made, and many of them are girls, and the girls can just as flawed and commit terrible actions as the dude characters.

But one character that seems to exceed the number of bad takes rather than the good ones is Menaka.

Menaka is a nastika, a race who in this story are sort of like opposing force to the gods, the author has even mentioned that humans sort of see them like "evil gods", some fit the label more than others, and others like Menaka are the exact opposite of evil, she was actually hailed as the one nastika who was qualified enough to eventually become the wisest king of the clans, and would be the first one to reach enlightenment and defeat one of the main villains. Unfortunately this one villain would have none of that and screwed her over on a cosmological level to the point it costed her everything, her power, her life, her clan, her future, and she ended up being screwed over after her death and then some more.

Without saying too many things confusing to non-readers that's the gist, as as the type of character who was tricked into abandoning everything for the greater good, and lived and died to regret it because she ended up doing a lot of damages for her decisions as well, and then sacrifice herself once more she's the perfect candidate to be hated, mischaracterized, mocked, straight up make things up about her character that you'd thing they're talking about someone else.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that people called her a groomer and the true villain of the story, not like a joke or hyperbole, but as like what they actually think of her -_-'

Uff, that was hard to write without possibly spoiling anyone lol (don't judge me, Kubera in ongoing, Arc V is over :P)

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Arc V

The Xyz arc, that all I have to say, I mean, you guys know me, for those who follow me when it was airing, you know my feelings about it and you know the absolute boredom that brings me every single time any of the xyz dimension characters were the focus (unless Yuzu, Dennis, Sora or Yuya were in them lol)

People love to say that the series did them dirty because they deserved a full arc, but honestly, we deserved a full arc dedicated to the fusion dimension, and I will die in that hill.

Kubera.

You know? Kubera doesn't have overhyped parts, because the series as a whole is just so underrated and obscure, and everything is so interwoven together, that it's impossible to remove any parts without affecting the overarching plot so... *shrugs*

#rose talks #my askbox #choose violence #arc v #ray akaba #one last god kubera #Menaka (Kubera) #I wanted to write more #but this would turn into an essay sorry #sorry to my arc v followers #but Kubera has me in a vicelike grip

[beevean]

I don't even like Surge, but I did find it annoying whenever this happened

Surge: I literally have no choice but to hate you. Every fiber of my being was rewired for the sole purpose of hunting you down. It's not that I WANT to. It's that I HAVE to....

Sonic: Oh my gosh sister just chill out and get with the vibe!!

Surge: :/

Gee Sonic, thanks for adding pretty much nothing to the topic at hand

Oh, I fucking wish that was all Sonic said.

Sonic is calling Surge's pain a "schtick", something fake and affected, a gimmick. He's saying that Surge isn't special, her pain isn't special, she's just one of many that Sonic looks down on.

This panel has been dissected so thoroughly I could write an academic essay over it, but I just want to point to two parts:

1) "I've made peace with enough enemies to know there is a better way" this is a blatant lie because the only enemy Sonic has made peace with is Blaze, everyone else reformed out of their own volition or thanks to Amy's influence. But you can chalk this up to Flynn not playing the games: what matters is the implication that Sonic is expecting that Surge will automatically "make peace" as well, something that he reiterates in #56:

In an arc that is all about how Sonic has Strong Principles about Giving People Freedom, he's depriving Surge of any agency, expecting her to behave in a certain way.

2) "So I'm willing to chalk this up to 'a rocky start' and let us have a do-over, if you will" you will never convince me that this doesn't sound conceited as hell. He's literally talking down to her, acting patronizing and as if he has any authority ("I'm willing"? Oh thank you, how generous of you, Your Fucking Highness).

Do I need to explain how gross this sentiment is? I don't think so.

Anyway IDW Sonic is a vile person and I want to slam his stupid smug grin into the ground like Lanolin did to Whisper 💖

#fans don't look #i am glad that so far idw has dropped this stupid pretentious writing

[allkordelia]

Keep Me in Your Thoughts (17)

Rhaelle was perch on the stone table admiring her surroundings, she swing her legs back and forth as she listened to the birds and insects all around her. The moonlight shine down on the lake making it glisten, she took a deep breathe as she smelled the moss and sweet flowers that was sprouting around the pavilion.This place was her safe haven. Only a few knew about it, her dear friend, meleah, showed it to her years ago when she felt everything around her was becoming too much. She tries to come here atleast once a week for some peace, but it seems when she can't make it she would have her servants in her chamber giving her some relief.

She felt disgusted in herself using people for her own pleasure, even through they don't mind and are happy to do it for her which makes her feel a bit conceited. It didn't give her the feeling she felt when she first started, at first they were there to make her feel good which was great but now it just feels like a chore for them and herself to do. It didn't have that same passion like before the way they desire her and she them, but now it was one-sided and she doesn't know why she lost the desire she once had for them. She always told herself it was because of the stress of being queen, but then daemon came with his stupid presence and lusting eyes.

When Meleah sent in the servants for the queen, all her thoughts drifted to daemon as she imagine the servant boy with blonde hair between her legs and the girl kissing and biting her chest was daemon. It was one of few blissful moments she experience and all because of daemon, she hated him and his face and everything else that made him him.

Rhaelle shook her head, no she won't do it she will not spare another thought of that man, she was here to find peace and daemon did not bring her peace but chaos. She sigh to herself as she brush the thought of the rogue prince out of her mind, she looked up to the night sky to see the stars shine bright.

Yes, focus on the stars and how beautiful they are tonight, she said to herself, and not on your pending duties and the man that shall be name. She took in a deep breathe before letting out another sigh but this time a gentle relief, as she take in the beautiful night and the oeace that came with it.

"Rhaelle, thank gods I find you, I been walking around here for ages." Rhaelle wince at the sound of daemon's voice, she look up the ceiling of the pavillion.

Why so you hate me? What did I do, she asked the gods before moving to get off the stone table and turn towards daemon.

"You don't say." He came up to stand in front of you.

"This place amazing even better than the one in the red keep, but I can do without those statues standing around like people." Rhaelle bit her bottom lip to from smiling, she find the statue eerie when she first got here.

"Believe me. I am already working on getting them remove and relocated to a special place in the dungeon." Daemon grin before he turning his eyes around the pavilion, rhaelle watch him as he walks around taking in the place.

"This is an nice place to get away," he says, rhaelle hum in response making daemon look back at her. His eyes roam over her body like he did she stood on the platform.

"You look gorgeous tonight," she hum.

"You said that already." He took slow steps towards her.

"Did I?" She nodded as she stood in the same spot.

"Well, it needed to be said again," Rhaelle look down at her yellow gold flats with a faint smile at his sweet words, "...because what this gown is doing imto your breast is–" rhaelle let out a chortle before hitting daemon's chest making the prince laugh stepping back from her impact.

"That is not friendly like daemon."

"I am just jesting, my queen. Don't friends jest." He asked with a mischievous smile, making rhaelle shake her head.

"You are a fool."

"A fool for you only, m'lady." He jest as leans forward in a bow before sitting up straight with a grin.

"A fool nonetheless." She giggle, " Is that why you came all this way just to bug me, my prince?" She asked moving to lean her back against the stone table, daemon follow after before standing in front of her as he gave her a look.

"No, I wanted to see if you were alright, you seemed upset." Rhaelle look at him through her lashes before looking away.

"I am fine I just wasn't feeling the celebration anymore that's all." Rhaelle wrap her arms around herself in a hug, daemon could sense she was lying.

"You know one of the points of having a friend is being able to voice your problems to them," Rhaelle looked at him for a second before shaking her head.

"I told you–"

"I heard what you said, and I know you are lying and want to know how I know you are lying." He tilts his head to side looking at her, "You wrap your arms around yourself and avoid my eyes," Rhaelle look down at what she was doing before uncrossing her arms and letting them drop to her side.

"You said we are friends, and I am here as a friend. So, talk to me." His hands went to her arms gently squeezing them, rhaelle looked up at him feeling her body heat up by his touch.

She swallow the lump in her throat as she move away from him, she rub the spots where daemon's hands where before trying to rid the warm feeling left behind on your cold skin.

"Why do you allow him to get under your skin?" He asked turning around to face her, rhaelle was looking out to the meadow, "He has no power over you anymore, so why do you do this to yourself." He walks towards her only stopping not far from her.

"There is where you are wrong, dear friend." She turn to him slowly with her arms still cross, "He will always have power over me, I bared him three childern. He will forever be etched into me until I die or him or our children." She wanted to say just like your brother, but kept that to herself.

"Fine I will understand that but why do you let your son treat you so lowly as if you weren't the woman who birth him." Rhaelle let of a sigh.

"Because I wasn't a good mother. I wasn't there for him or the rest of my childern, not until it was too late." Daemon furrowed his brows, he can not imagine rhaelle not being a good mother not when he spent his spare time with her and the triplets back at the red keep, the way she cared for them and made them laugh with her silly faces.

It all made daemon yearn for it, the perfect wife and heirs to call his own. The sweet moments that was spent in godswood with the sound of children laughting and rhaelle constant giggles, as they enjoy the afternoon sun while eating and playing.

"You are a great mother, rhaelle. I know it because I seen it," Rhaelle turn her eyes up at him as they welled up with tears.

"True, but you don't know what I became months after you left." Daemon frown as she sniff and swipe her finger under her eyes.

"It couldn't have been that bad." He murmur making a bitter chuckle leave her lips.

"After agreeing to be a concubine, I drunk myself into a stupor to forget." She said ill-disposed, "Everyday for the past four years in that prison, as I foolishly thought I was suffering my childern was suffering as well."

"They needed me and I wasn't there. When they needed a mother to comfort them, I was either laying on my back for the king or on my stomach past out. I basically pushed them into otto's arms."

"Yet, I do not hear you blaming otto, he was the one who caused you and your children so much pain, and he was the one who forced you–"

"He didn't force me, daemon. I did it willing because–" Rhaelle stopped herself as she stare at the prince.

"Because of what." Rhaelle look away as she bite her bottom lip,"Rhaelle?" He called making her frown as she stare at her flats.

"I loved him. I was young and he was my husband, I thought I was doing a good thing for the queen until it all became too real and I was too late to stop it." She frown before looking up at daemon, he was looking away from her so many things emotions and thoughts in his head and heart.

"Daemon." Rhaelle saw the storm of emotions in his eyes when he looked at her making her feel guilty for saying it, before rhaelle could say anything the sound of thunder strike and soon rain poured around them.

"We should get inside." Rhaelle look away from the rain and back at daemon, the sound of his voiced sounded empty.

She nodded, "I know a shortcut." Daemon gave a curt nod before stepping aside so she could lead the way, rhaelle walk to the entrance of the pavilion with daemon close behind before rushing out as she held her dress.

@cleverzonkwombatsludge @beggarsnotchoosey @avidreader73 @green-lxght @stormgirlfriendd @watercolorskyy @supermassiveblackhope

#daemon targaryen smut #daemon targaryen x y/n #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen x oc #daemon targaryen x black!reader

[dreamersparacosm]

congrats on 3k!! can i request smut 19. “You better watch your fucking mouth” with austin butler please with a daddy kink if you’re comfortable with that, if not that’s fine!

you better watch your fucking mouth - austin butler

note ; ANON IM SCREAMINGGG. this prompt absolutely deserves a gold star for most horniest saying ⭐️ fighting words right there. i just feel like austin saying this in a deep voice would send me over a literal cliff

warnings ; daddy kink, cursing, smoochy

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

now, why you were in a room with the person you hated the most was a question for a later date. the simple answer? austin butler was your discourteous, spiteful, conceited co-star who believed everything just fell into his lap because of his charm and good looks. realistically, it did. he grew up being told he would be a heartbreaker one day, and in a way, he was. he played everyone’s crush on disney and nickelodeon television shows (including yours, but you wouldn’t admit it) and when you became an actress, of course, your first breakout role would be with him.

for some godforsaken reason, baz luhrmann believed there was an ounce of chemistry between you two during a table read, and announced you as priscilla presley and austin as elvis presley. you two did well at first, keeping a professional manner at all times. that is, until you heard him call you a slut behind closed doors to one of the production assistants.

you weren’t sure what prompted him to believe you were a raunchy adultress, but you took that with you everytime the cameras began to roll. he must have caught on to your bitterness, and decided to never speak to you outside of the confines of the set. that arrangement worked well: for just about three months. apparently, it was hard to feign chemistry with someone when you wanted to rip each other’s throats out.

and, that was how you ended up with your original question: you two were currently sat in an office, baz running over the lines for the romantic kiss scene you had been dreading to film. austin tried to maintain a smile on his face, but you looked downright miserable, and baz was doing everything he could to ignore it.

just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, baz suggested, “why don’t we do a test run of the kiss? just to, ya know, see it in action?”

you blinked twice, watching as austin smirked out of the corner of your eye. it took all your might to not reach over and slam his head into the nearby office desk. you nodded, leaning forward in your chair, “look, baz, could i have a moment alone with austin here? just need to run over something quickly.”

baz’s expression switched to utter confusion as you kindly smiled, hoping he wouldn’t see the red that flashed behind your eyes. austin shifted uncomfortably beside you as your director agreed to leave the room, leaving you and austin alone. the sound of the clock ticking rang in your ears like a siren, silence washing over the walls as you two sat there.

“you know, i like this less than you do,” you started.

he scoffed, “not possible.”

“listen, we can either get it over with, or we can redo it fifty million times until we’re blue in the face.”

“yeah, i bet you’d like that,” he snorted, avoiding eye contact as well as he possibly could, despite being a measly 5 inches away from you.

“what is that supposed to mean?” your tone rose an octave as your blood burnt through your skin.

“it means, that i bet you’re so fucking eager to make out with anyone,” he finally turned to look at you, his eyes meeting yours in rage.

“what is wrong with you — you have been on my back since i got here! why don’t you just tell me what your fucking problem is before i tell everyone about how you cry yourself to sleep because you’re homesick?”

that seemed to push about just every button for him. his body leaned towards you, exhaling heavily through his nostrils. “what did you just —“

“you’re a fucking narcissist, that’s what it is. you just want alllll the power so you can be the star —“

“you better watch your fucking mouth,” he sneered at you, his breath waning over your face as he migrated even closer to your burning body.

“bet you wish i did—“ you pressed on, your nose mere inches away from his. you didn’t want to look at him for a second longer, but the pull of his energy was enough to keep you reeled in. you couldn’t move. your whole body fell limp as his eyes traveled from your eyes down to your lips. you fought to think of things you could say that would further piss him off, knowing that there might be one thing that could set him off over the edge. “—daddy.”

before you had a chance to say another snide remark, his lips crashed onto yours, a collision of teeth and tongues. your brain couldn’t even form a coherent thought as his teeth grazed across your bottom lip, your hand reaching out to entangle itself within his hair. you were on fire, your body defying what your brain was telling you. the need for air was the only reason you two pulled away from each other, and you moved away as far as you possibly could from him. he wiped his lips on the back of his hand, looking at you with little regard, “yeah, i think we’ve got the kiss down pat.”

and with that, he left the room, leaving you and your drenched panties behind.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

join the celebration here!

#anon #answered #austin butler #austin butler blurb #austin butler fanfic #austin butler elvis #austin butler x reader #austin butler smut #angelina’s 3k extravaganza

[transboykirito]

let's try this again. a rambly thing i wrote about sugu and kazuto.

It had been hours of the two of them just laying there on her bed, her head on his chest and his hand in her hair. Neither of them was talking. The only sound in her room came from the quiet humming of the air conditioning unit on the wall.

“Does it ever get better?”

Suguha asked the question without expecting a response. He of all people wouldn’t know how to give one. Hell, she shouldn’t be asking him anything like that in the first place. Who gave her the right to ask him if her issues would get better when his far outweighed her own?

“Maybe.”

Kazuto’s voice was tired. It was more than just sleep deprivation, though both of them were in need of rest. It was the kind of exhaustion that only came from trying to live and exist while everything in you screamed to end it all now. It was an exhaustion she’d once been inconvenienced by as she dealt with a depressed family member, and now it was an exhaustion that she had come to know herself.

God, she was selfish. How many times had she laid there at night and convinced herself that if they spoke the next day, it meant he would be better? How many times had she thought his life was a weight on her shoulders? How many times did she comfort herself in the fact he cared too much about her to leave her behind?

“Do you even want it to get better?”

How many times had she placed herself on a pedestal in his life, so certain of the fact she could love him enough to take away this kind of soul-interwoven sadness? How conceited had she been to think that a few hollow-but-well-meaning words of I love you, I promise you’ll get better could ever save him from something that had existed inside of him for nearly half his life?

“Maybe.”

It wasn’t like she hadn’t understood, to some degree, that he needed more help than she could offer him. She’d cried herself to sleep on multiple occasions, terrified that her beloved brother wouldn’t be there when she woke up, because deep down she knew that he needed something she couldn’t provide. He needed…

That was the issue - part of it, at least. She didn’t know what he needed exactly, but she knew it was more than her and her naive teenage words could amount to. No amount of pleading for him to stay just a little longer, no amount of empty promises that one day he’d feel happy again, no amount of daydreams of him walking her down the aisle or seeing her graduate - none of it would ever be enough.

She wasn’t enough.

She’d hated herself for it. She hated that there was something she couldn’t do for him. She hated that this boy, the one she loved more than anything, the one who made her life worth living, was so sad that she could never even see past the surface of it.

“I don’t know how I’d do any of this without you.”

She doesn’t say it to guilt-trip him. It isn’t some unintentional twist of a knife someone else had buried deep in his side. She says it because it’s the truth. She really, really doesn’t know how she’s supposed to live without him.

He doesn’t respond, so she tries another approach.

“How do I keep going when it feels so hopeless?”

He shrugs lightly, shifting her head as he does.

“You just do. You just have to believe there’s a reason for it.”

He sounds so tired. She wants to tell him to rest. She wants to tell him to roll over, so he can lay his head on her own chest and drift off to sleep. She wants to tell him she’ll protect him from all the things that haunt him in his dreams. She wants to tell him that the exhaustion won’t last forever.

“What’s your reason?”

She holds her arms around his middle tighter. She knows that she won’t be his answer. She knows exactly what - no, who - his answer is going to be. She’s jealous, just the tiniest bit, that she isn’t his world in the same way he’s hers, but he deserves his own happiness, and she’s truly happy that he’s found it.

“I just have to be here long enough to see things be good again.”

There’s another long pause where neither of them says anything. He’s thinking. She’s thinking. He’s likely thinking of all the moments that led him to this moment - all the people he met and loved, the lives lost, the lives taken, the years stolen from his life that he can never recover.

So what’s she thinking about?

Aside from him, because she really is worried about him.

She’s thinking about the bloodshed she witnessed in the Underworld. The lives she took, the pain she felt, the fear she felt, the love she felt. The hopelessness and the rebellious determination. The bonds she forged that she could never return to. The impact she left that she would never know of. The wounds and the blood she’d shed. The slimy feeling of that witch all over her. The humiliation. The rage. The moment something inside of her had simply snapped. The moment her entire body gave way and she could no longer stand.

She felt she didn’t deserve to compare her experiences to Kazuto’s. He’d fought for longer, in harder battles, with stronger enemies, facing higher stakes. He’s been doing this - this loneliness, this anger, this despair, this rot - for far longer than she had with a much heavier load on his shoulders. Really, she felt it inappropriate to even be asking for his advice now.

Then he talks again, his weary voice giving her just the slightest hint of bittersweet affection.

“You know, Sugu, I wish I was as strong as you.”

She blinks. It’s the other way around, isn’t it? She’s the one who so desperately wishes to be as strong as him. What kind of game is he playing now?

“Strong?”

“You keep loving people. No matter how many times your heart breaks, you love people anyway. The Underworlders, Nagata. Even me. That’s really strong. I wish I could do that.”

She blushes just slightly. Did he really pay attention that much when she complained about him? Or, rather, more truthfully, she blushes because loving him - loving anyone - has never been a choice for her. It’s simply how it is.

She loves him. He could break her heart a million times over, and every time she would still hand it back to him, barely beating and held together in the palm of her hand. Every time, she would give him - or anyone - her heart with the expectation of it being broken, and she would give her heart away anyway.

Maybe it was naive. No, she knows it is. She would cry and wail like a child, then put her heart back together just enough to throw it to whoever she thought might hold it for a while, just for the shortest, sweetest moment. Then, she would live in that love until it threatened to suffocate her, and she would do it all over again.

She’d dragged her broken, bloodied heart through the mud so many times, she was surprised it was still beating.

But it was. Her heart was beating, and she was alive.

He was alive.

She could breathe.

“It’s because I’m too stupid to stop caring.”

She says it in that half-hearted, self-deprecating way that implies she’s trying to joke, but neither of them find any humour in it.

“Maybe.”

“Hey!”

She laughs, he laughs.

She breathes.

She knows they’re both tired. She doesn’t know how long they’ll be tired for. Maybe forever. Maybe for the next few years. Maybe until something happens and they miraculously find themselves reinvigorated by something that makes them forget everything they’ve been through.

She knows who’ll give him that. She knows it isn’t her.

She knows that when they decide this conversation is over, she’ll roll off of him and make an awkward joke about having a cramping leg. He’ll laugh and tell her it’s her fault for clinging to him like the world’s most anxious baby koala. Then he’ll linger in her doorway for a moment, they’ll plan what they’re going to do for dinner in a few hours, and he’ll go back to his room to call her on the phone.

Because Asuna has taken the spot in Kazuto’s heart that Suguha had selfishly believed belonged to her. She doesn’t hate her for it, she’s glad that her brother’s found someone who makes him truly happy, someone who makes him want to love life again. Asuna’s great, she likes Asuna.

But just for now, listening to his heartbeat while he breathes, she convinces herself that at least part of his heart is still reserved for her. For this brief moment, she lets herself believe that her words can still reach him.

He breathes.

She breathes.

“Is it ever gonna get better for us?”

He shrugs again.

“Maybe.”

Then she forgives herself enough to let herself say one more stupid, naive thing. Just once. Then she’ll hold him to it.

“Promise me you’ll still be here when it does get good again?”

He holds her, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips for the first time in hours. There’s still wet tear tracks down his cheeks from earlier.

“Yeah, I promise I’ll be here a while.”

Then he sighs, like he’s lifting a weight off his chest for the first time in a while. She swallows down the memories threatening to beg him for reassurance. Another time, she promises herself. For now, their conversation here is over.

He breathes.

She breathes.

They’re going to be okay.

#mine* #leafa #kirito #oneshot #this isnt inc*st i SWEAR i just have bpd and a lot of feelings #sword art online #sao #if this flops im deleting it and were pretending it never existed okay cool #mine*fics #mine*tumblroneshots

[teyamsatan]

mim sneak peak soon ? 👀

hi bb, your ask singlehandedly made me start writing this chapter hahahaha, so here is everything i wrote for the last chapter of mim, and i hope you enjoy xx

“Are you sure, ma ‘ite? You know we wouldn’t force you into anything, but… please think it through. Eywa’s vision was clear, and it showed you two together. Eywa is never wrong, you know this.”

You thought about it, barely able to look into Mo’at's beautiful, sagacious eyes that always felt like they could see through you, through deception and conceit, and get to the soul of problem, the inner core of your amalgamation of conflicting, earth-shattering emotions, covered by a crust of barely-there composure, ready to erupt with any slight friction of the tectonic plates of your heart. You thought about last night, about his words, that still rang in your ears in a muffled cacophony of sounds you were trying your hardest to drown out, that you were scared would end up drowning you, instead. 

“I loved you, Vi.I fucking loved you. You were everything to me. And you broke me.” 

“Even the smallest similarity killed me, reminded me how much I hate you, how much I want to, how much I don't. I've wanted to hate you so much, I tried so hard, but you were in every dream, in every fantasy, you haunted me my whole life."

You thought about his actions, about what drove them, about how, at the end of the day, they were the same driving forces that you acted on. Hurt. Betrayal. Jealousy. Fear. You thought about your actions. How poison crept beneath your skin and pooled in your heart and pumped it through your whole bloodstream, until it was all there was, until it blinded you, and how he started this, but you continued it.

How his fault was indifference, and yours was madness that only he had the power to coax out of you. You thought about his parents, and how his dad was now your dad, and how hard you fought for hearing the magic words: “we couldn’t have done it without you, kid”. Those words, and the “you’re welcome” that followed, became as necessary to you as the air you breathe. It may have started, this need to gain Jake’s approval, as a way to get a rise out of Neteyam, your best attempt at getting him to lash out at you, scream and yell, anything but the horrible silence he ordained you with, but in time, it had less to do with the boy and more to do with you, with how his dad reminded you of your own, how the words of praise and admiration made the ones you were used to, that you’d never hear again echo through the your tent and through the forest, hidden in between the whistles and sonorous trills of birds, but never forgotten, not to you. 

You thought about his specious assumptions, and your words, and how, despite what you spat at him last night, they weren’t the whole truth. You did tell Jake that you didn’t want to mate with him, but not out of a lack of love or desire. No, the thought of one day being one with the boy who shone light through the broken cracks of your soul every day after your parents died, the boy who himself shone brighter than any star or sun or galaxy out there in the vast unknown, the boy who challenged you, and annoyed you, and loved you, and got you… it made you happy. It made butterflies flutter in your stomach and tingle, it made a fuzzy feeling gather in your brain and haze your mind until it was full of nothing but misty reveries, of a life beyond your wildest dreams and fantasies, of night flights and battles won together, of family found and family kept.

You told Jake what you did because your dreams couldn’t happen while you were pushed to the side and made to undertake the duties of a Tsakarem, they couldn’t happen if you had to forsake your talents and an integral part of yourself. You thought that, by saying no, you could make your dad proud, you could make Jake proud… make him proud. You thought that by becoming the warrior you knew you could one day be, you could help him… take away some of the burden that you knew he was shouldering all by himself, that of the eldest son, the responsible child, the prodigy of the clan. More than anything, you wanted to be worthy of him and of his love. That’s why you said no. 

But now, it was all wrong. Your love, your hate, your history and your future, everything you’ve done, everything you should have done. It was all wrong. O’i’en was right, you realised. You held onto this broken relationship, this hopeless promise of a mateship, not because you wanted revenge, but because you wanted him… in any way you could get him. Your undefeated stubbornness, and the war that left too many collateral victims for you to ever be able to sleep at night again, led to scars in your soul no one could ever fix, that you’d have to mend yourself in time, that you never could while in an arrangement you should have declined to begin with. It was finally time… 

“I’m sure, ma Tsa’hik.”

…time to say goodbye to the child you knew - the one you were, the one he was, and the love that took too much of both of you, the one that turned to ashes in your mouth. 

coming soon x

#༊*·˚ andra's works #neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam fanfic #neteyam reader #neteyam sully #avatar #avatar twow #avatar fanfic #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam sully fanfiction #neteyam angst #awow #awow neteyam #sully family x reader #neteyam smut #neteyam x y/n #avatar way of water #neteyam x reader smut #neteyam x you #neteyam fluff #neteyam x reader angst #neteyam x omaticaya!reader #monster in me series #☆ andra's series

[aziawow]

secret kisses (lash x f!reader) 13k+ words

summary: you and lash hate each other, but an unexpected kiss sparks a certain arrangement. a very hot, very secret arrangement.

warnings: lots of descriptive kissing, mild swearing, mild violence, very brief toilet humor, brief underage drinking, brief intoxication, vomit mention (nondescriptive), blood mention (nondescriptive)

notes: stronghold!reader, no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, reader has telekinetic powers but that doesn't matter until the end

Boomer hauls you and Lash into the principal’s office, yammering away like he had in the cafeteria and in the hallway. You’re barely paying attention, your focus on the earlier events and containing your fury rather than the loud coach. 

He uses the grip he has on both of your arms to toss you in the two seats in front of the desk. You’re silent, not sparing a glance Lash’s way and not wanting to meet Boomer’s eyes. 

He sighs heavily and runs a hand down his face. “Principal Powers is still dealing with your mess, so until she’s done, you two are gonna stay in here.” He begins to walk back to the door. “Try not to kill each other, and don’t leave this room. Just to make sure,” he holds up a key. 

“What if there’s a fire,” Lash drawls. 

You roll your eyes and Boomer ignores him. The door shuts and the only sound you can hear is the jingle of metal as Boomer locks you in. 

You last all of one minute before you explode. 

“I cannot believe you,” you fume at Lash. “Wait, actually, I can. Pretty on par for you. What I can’t believe is how you think this is anything other than your fault.”

Lash clenches his jaw. “My fault? If it wasn't for you this entire thing wouldn’t have happened.” 

You jump to your feet and face him. “Me? You started it! You always start it!”

He gets up and towers over you, face hard as he glares down at you. “That doesn’t mean you have to finish it. You can’t leave well enough alone, can you?” You scrunch your nose at him. 

“No, I can’t. Not when you pick on defenseless kids right in front of me! You expect me to do nothing while you humiliate them?” You step closer to him, secretly pleased when he sharply inhales at your proximity. Good. He should be afraid of you. “You are nothing. But. A. Bully,” you enunciate by jabbing his chest with a finger. “I am sick of your behavior.” He scowls. 

“I’m sick of you! Ruining my fun all the time. Making that face you make all the time.” Lash gestures to your face, clearly peeved about something.

You reel back, confused. “My face? There’s nothing wrong with my face. What about your face, huh? Always twisted up in that mischievous look you have when you’re doing something mean. And it’s not just one part of your expression, oh no, it’s your whole face,” you say, waving your hand around him, nearly taking an eye out. He grabs your wrist and pulls it down. “With that stupid troublemaking grin and the way your eyebrows pinch together when you’re plotting. Your eyes are the worst. They have this look in them that’s so cocky, like you know you can get away with whatever you want. But you can’t! I hate it.” 

He tilts his head, completely in disbelief. “You have a face too. I call it your Getting Lash In Trouble Look. Always so innocent, but I know the truth. You pretend to be this good samaritan, a champion for the people when really you just like the attention you get from being a busybody—”

“Busybody!”

“—and messing with me! You literally can’t let anything go ever! It’s so annoying. Every single time you look so sweet and blameless and when they praise you for being a hero, you smile like you’re shy, which is a total fucking lie, I’ve never met anyone as conceited as you, with the way you pat yourself on the back like snitching on me is a badge of honor!” 

Your jaw drops. “I do not!”

“Yes you do,” he argues. “And you bat your eyelashes and it makes me so mad because that’s what does it! That’s what gets me in trouble! I don’t know how you do it, but whenever you flutter your dumb long lashes like that it convinces them to throw me in detention. It’s a weapon you use against me and you know it. It’s deceitful.” 

You’re taken aback. You are not hearing what you are hearing, surely. “The second you decide to harass someone is what gets you thrown in detention, asshole. I have nothing to do with it.” 

Lash scoffs. “‘Nothing to do with it’,” he parrots. “You have everything to do with it!”

You get in his face, which proves to be immensely difficult as he’s so much taller than you, but you’d rather fall off the edge of the school than back down now. 

“Everything?” 

“Everything,” he confirms. 

You are, genuinely, at a loss for words. You’re so frustrated and infuriated with him that all you can do is glare at him. This conversation is giving you a serious headache, but you have enough of a mind to be furious that he, technically, got the last word.  

You’re breathing hard, staring into his eyes, and you, all of a sudden, notice he’s doing the same thing. You also notice how close he is. It’s normal for you two to butt heads, but not literally. You’ve had arguments that shook the whole school, but you’ve never been this close to him. 

You know what everyone says about you. That all the fights are a result of unresolved sexual tension. No one ever dared to say it to your face, and most likely they’ve never mentioned it to Lash, but the gossip mill runs fast at Sky High and a ridiculous amount of people are terrible at whispering.

It enrages you when they imply there’s something more going on between you, but you can't deny the fact that you and Lash have some sort of attraction to each other. Always seeking each other out to push and shove, endless arguing and, admittedly, some preening. You convinced yourself it's not a sexual or romantic attraction. You hate each other, it’s just that neither of you can get away from the other. 

But.

You can’t deny you have a certain energy with Lash. You always have. He knows it too. There was this electricity between you two, and that's half the reason you hate him so much. Every time you think you might be genuinely attracted to him—because you’re not blind and, despite your feelings, it’s an undeniable fact that Lash is a seriously attractive guy—you get angry at yourself, at Lash, at everything for being so confusing and unfair. Your hormones are unbelievably stupid around him.

Which is how it happens. 

You and Lash are similarly breathless after your fight, and realizing you can feel the little puffs of air from his mouth on your face overwhelms your thoughts instantly. 

Again, you notice how close the two of you are. 

In his eyes, you still find simmering anger, but his edges have softened now. The way he’s staring at you, focused and drawn—it’s as if, to him, you’re the only person in the world. Like you're some kind of puzzle he wants to take apart and inspect bit by bit, wanting to know the pieces and touching along the ridges until he can commit them to memory. 

He’s not relaxed exactly, he’s calmer, but there’s another kind of tension you can feel coming from him. He breaths again, and when you feel his breath on your lips, you can’t stop your eyes from dropping down to his. 

They’re an incredible shade of pink, and for a moment they disappear as he quickly licks them, a constant tick of his you noticed a long time ago. 

You blink back up at him, somehow closer than ever. You see the question in his eyes: are we really gonna do this? You also see something dark and longing.

That is…unfamiliar to you. You know all of his looks and expressions by heart, particularly because they are so often aimed at you, but never something like this. Like wanting. It makes you stop, heart stuttering. 

You begin to move your arm, why you did and where it was going is unbeknownst to you, when you realize Lash has been holding your wrist the entire time. Probably since he had moved your hand away from his face just minutes ago. 

Both of you look down at the two hands in between you. He squeezed you slightly before releasing you slowly, but you don’t move away. Instead, you continue to hold your arm out, letting his fingers run along your wrist and your palm, slow and aching. It tingles, and you gasp lightly at the feeling. 

Lash, taking that as a sign, clasps his hand around yours and tugs you towards him. 

You go readily, and when you meet his gaze, you lean in and your lips finally meet. 

The kiss was tentative at first, but after a few seconds, you sink into it completely. You let go of his hand at the same time he drops yours. How else was he going to wrap his arms around you and hold you? Yours comes up and fists in his hair, running it through his soft strands over and over as you kiss. You had an arm curled under his, a hand gripping at his shoulder, something to keep you steady and touching all of him that you possibly could. 

One of his hands rubbed up and down your back, stroking and feeling purposefully, and when it grazed over a sensitive spot, you moaned into his mouth. Your feelings for him were a complicated mess but this was easy and so, so good. 

Your resolve slipped as you careened into him further. You were still so angry at him and you kissed him exactly how you fight with him: swift and calculated, but with an edge of vengeance and fire as you undo him as he does to you. Lash, similarly, wasn’t gentle with you. He did what he always does and takes, chasing satisfaction but not doing so without a show of power. Just to remind you who he is. You, unlike his victims, were not helpless. You matched him stride for stride, insistent and sure, unrelenting as you refused to let this spark burn out. 

He kissed you deeper, his tongue slipping in and you didn’t think about it: you let him, because his mouth on yours? It felt absolutely and completely— 

The door rattled. 

—horrible! So, so horrible! 

You push Lash away, both of you staring at each other wide eyed and cheeks flushed, disbelief and confusion evident on Lash’s face. Damn you for thinking this caught-off-guard looked good on him!

You had seconds to compose yourself, but after a kiss like that? You were lucky to look half as composed as you felt when Principal Powers burst in. 

“Instigating a food fight? That's a new low, even for you two. Now, here’s what’s gonna happen...”

You listened to her as best you could, but your mind kept straying back to that kiss without your permission. 

It was so.. intense. It kind of makes sense, you think. With what you know about yourself and Lash and yourself in relation to Lash, everything you two do was heated and passionate exactly like that. You’ve always known that you and Lash are cosmic forces mere moments from colliding, but kissing him? Surely the universe was laughing at you. It’s Lash. 

The two of you were sent home, serving a half day of suspension and the rest of the week in after school detention. Together. 

You were surprised that she didn’t make you clean up the cafeteria, but the janitor with a cleaning power begged her not to for a reason you can’t recall, and that was perfectly fine with you. The cafeteria was a mess, cleaning it all up would take forever. 

There was hell to pay when you got home. Your parents, the Commander and Jetstream, were extremely disappointed to say the least. Honestly, you were barely paying attention to the lecture your mom was giving you. It’s always a sermon with her, and who would rather listen to that than lose their mind over having the World’s Most Earth Shattering Kiss? 

It stayed in your mind the rest of the night, the next morning, and all throughout the school day. You and Lash had a few classes together but sat nowhere near each other, so it was easy to avoid him. Then detention came along. 

You met him at the room, eyes darting away from each other just as quick as they were found, and you walk in. 

Mr. Medulla was assigned as your detention teacher, but he had an experiment in the observation stage so he couldn’t stay in the room the entire time. In fact, he didn’t stay at all. He promised to make periodic check in’s, told you to pass the time with homework, did an evil laugh, and walked away. 

You had your homework out, but made zero progress on it. The silence was so suffocating that, in a roundabout way, made you want to laugh hysterically. You didn’t want to say anything or even talk about it, but at the same time you had to know. Why did it happen? How did it happen? When it happened, did he feel the same things? Feel the same way? These questions nagged at you, but when Lash spoke up without warning, you panicked. 

“So…you kissed me.” 

“Nope.” Deny, deny, deny. 

“...”

“...”

“Um, yes. I was there?” God, his confusion should not have been as endearing as it is. You know Lash, so you know he’s not stupid or purposefully obtuse, so maybe you had messed him up just like he did to you. 

You sigh. “Look, that didn’t happen. That wasn’t a thing. I don’t know what happened or why, but that’s fine, because nothing happened.” 

You spare a glance his way. He was slouched on the chair, an arm draped over the back, no books in sight. He was so casual. He shrugged, looking totally unbothered. “Alright then. Nothing happened. Fine.” 

A few minutes went by. Medulla checked in. You scribbled down an answer on the sheet in front of you. It was probably right. 

But, like, the way he said it. Like it meant nothing. It didn’t have to mean anything so why was his attitude so blasé. He was hardly ever indifferent so what made this so special that he let it go? It didn’t have to mean anything but it didn’t have to be nothing. He wasn't better than you just because he apparently felt nothing. Well, you don't do things by half, and Lash is not an exception. You full body turn to him.

“We’re just not gonna talk about it then?” You could not care less if that was the exact opposite of what you just said. It’s fine; Lash knows how contrary you can be. 

Sure enough, when you get a good look at him, he’s smirking at you, eyes bright and expectant. Like he knew you couldn’t not talk about it and was just biding his time until you broke first. 

God, he was aggravating. 

“Hey, I always knew it’d be a matter of time before you jumped me.”

“What!” you squeak. “If memory serves me right, you were the one who couldn't keep your hands off of me. Do you always do that when you kiss someone? Hold them so tight they can’t escape. You’re like a straight jacket. God knows I should be in one, what was I thinking?”

“You were thinking ‘Oh, Lash is so hot I need him now’ and if someone wants to kiss me why would I deny them that pleasure?” he mocked your voice with a high pitch, and you got so annoyed that you took off your shoe and threw it at him as hard as you could. 

The bastard didn’t even look mad when it hit his chest. He caught it and cackled. “You are so not getting this back, Stronghold.” 

You jump to your feet. “Why! You only have one and it won't fit you. Give it!” Your very reasonable demand was not met. 

Instead Lash rose from the chair and walked toward you. He dangled your shoe above his head, knowing full well that, even without using his powers, it was well out of your reach. He looked up at your shoe as you threw your dignity out of the window and jumped for it with no success. You very well could jump on him for it, but you know the jokes he’d make after. 

“Your feet are so tiny,” he teased. 

Oh! Feet! you think, and stomp on his. 

As expected, Lash backed up and hunched over in pain, whining at you. You take this opportunity to reach around him for your shoe, but it remains elusive as he continues to hold it out. You did however manage to grasp his arm and pull it forward. 

Lash’s body followed and the unexpected weight against you tripped you up. Soon you two were crashing into the desk you were using with half of the contents on your table falling to the floor. 

You and Lash were in an awkward potion. Not quite standing but not completely on the floor either. Lash, being on top, moved first. You still had a grip on him, and he had no choice but to pull you up along with himself. 

The result? 

You were close. Very close. Again. 

You wanted to move back, you really did. Your body had other plans though, and when you looked into his eyes, you knew immediately it was a mistake. You wanted to kiss him again, no, you needed to, and the gleam in Lash’s eye told you everything you needed to know.

You get on your tippy toes, throw your arms around his neck, and tip your head up. He meets you halfway, for once, and you two are kissing and kissing. 

It picks up where it left off, all fury and passion the two of you felt bleeding into the kiss. This time, you open your mouth immediately and pry his open with your tongue. Judging by the sweet mewling sound he made into your mouth, Lash was not expecting you to be so bold. 

He should know better. 

Your tongue slides against his, tasting and feeling and wanting. He fights you when you flick the roof of his mouth and caress his teeth and cheeks, realizing he’s lost all control. This makes you pull back and smirk, momentarily breaking the kiss. You couldn’t resist, a helpless Lash is one you don’t see often, and this time? It was all your doing. 

You make eye contact for a second, visibly proud of yourself and confident that you can make him react like that, and Lash’s expression shifts to one of determination before diving back in. 

You know what he wants, and you got what you did, so you let him guide this kiss. He mapped the insides of your mouth, quickly becoming its best cartographer as he tongued every tooth, every ridge possible in the most delectable way. 

He sucked on your tongue when you offered it, and it nearly brought you to your knees. He held on tight to you, holding you up. It would have been embarrassing if it was anyone else. 

You stopped kissing, both needing to catch your breaths. You didn’t stray far, breathing into each other's mouths, lips brushing and still high on adrenaline. Neither of you moved apart while you waited for your breathing to return to normal. You traced your finger over the patch of skin he had exposed on his neck, and he rubbed circles on your hip with his thumb. 

You were just wondering if Lash would think you were desperate if you tried to go back in for another round when the door slid open.

There really was no way to salvage the situation, but Lash took a few steps away from you. Luckily, Medulla’s head was turned as he talked to someone in the hall. He didn’t see you and Lash in an embrace of any kind, but there was still the matter of the room.

“What happened here? Miss Stronghold, why are your things all over the ground?” You had no idea what to say. You kept your mouth shut and rushed to pick everything up. Lash on the other hand— 

“Lash, why in the name of Science are you holding her shoe?” 

Fuck. You forgot about that. It’s like Lash has this ability to invade all your senses, being so successful that you forgot you were only wearing one shoe while making out with him. 

Lash looked at the shoe in his hand. “Um.”

The teacher blinked. “Well give it back!” 

Lash handed you your shoe, and you pulled it on as Medulla gave you a quick lecture. After both promising to not cause any further incidents, Medulla ran back to his lab to check on his experiment and left you and Lash alone again. 

Then, you started laughing. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. After a moment, Lash joined in too, the events finally catching up to him. 

“Why did you still have my shoe? You didn’t let it go? Not once?” you can't even form coherent words after that, still giggling. 

Lash’s body convulses as he’s overcome with laughter. “I have no idea what happened. I literally didn’t even think about it.” 

“Am I a bad kisser? I’ve never gotten anything other than stellar reviews so tell me now because if you were so unimpressed by me that you didn’t drop my shoe from your hand, then I need to know now.”

Lash, unexpectedly, became affronted. “I didn’t say or think that. Not at all.” You saw a blush rising to his cheeks. “You’re good. Like, really good. I like kissing you.”

Whatever you thought he was gonna say, it wasn’t this. You blink. “Oh. I like kissing you too.” 

You were silent for a moment, but you knew where this was heading. Neither of you wanted to be the one to admit it, but if you did it together, it would lessen the sting of seeing each other so exposed like this.

“So, if I like kissing you, and you like kissing me…” he trails off. 

“Then we should kiss,” you declare. He nods enthusiastically. “We should just kiss.”

“Yes, just kiss. Whenever we want. No promises, just kissing.” Very reasonable. 

“Yup.” you say. Then, “We can’t tell anyone.”

His eyes bulged. “No, god no. I have a reputation and you have yours. We wouldn't be doing ourselves any favors.”

“Right, right. Can you even imagine?” You shudder. No one can know that you and Lash have kissed. More than once. Even worse, they cannot know that you’re going to keep kissing him. 

The rest of detention rolls by, the atmosphere half awkward at what you agreed to and half giddy at what’s to come. 

The next day as you’re walking to gym, lagging behind for no good reason, you feel an arm wrap around your waist and pull you away. You don't freak out, knowing immediately who it is. When you see the sign on the door you were just pulled into you say, “The boy’s locker room, really?” 

Lash hushes you. “What’s the point of keeping this a secret if you’re just gonna shout it out for everyone to hear?” He continued to pull you around, weaving through rows of lockers.

You huff. “First of all, I said nothing of the sort, and second, I didn’t shout. It’s echo-y in here! That’s not my fault.” 

Finally, Lash stops in a decently secluded area and corners you against a locker, bodies pressing together. “No, you are by far the loudest person I’ve ever met. Seriously. Do you have a volume control or are you permanently stuck on the loudest possible setting?”

“Shut up,” you instruct, and kiss him. 

He came to you willingly and you made quick work of keeping him quiet. 

You nip at his lips then suck on his mouth, ignoring his prodding tongue and not opening up fully. You continue to tease him for a few moments, giving him just enough of what he wants, but holding back until he decides to finally take it. You love being in control and it’s so easy with him, but the idea of Lash coming undone because he can’t stand the thought of you having something just out of his reach and finally doing whatever it takes to get it is a power trip in of itself. 

Just knowing that right now Lash is obediently following your lead on this makes it all the more sweeter to punish him later when he unleashes himself on you. 

When you‘re ready, and only when you’re ready, you loosen yourself up enough for Lash to take over. 

He whines.

Lash dives into you, your mouth open and waiting. He kisses and sucks and licks everywhere he can, you don’t think he’ll stop for anything. You feel like he’s drinking you up the way he completely devours you. 

You’re having fun learning what makes him tick. You know them already, but not in this context. Having to relearn him is something you do easily, and it’s funny that not only is he predictable, but he doesn’t even notice he’s showing you these things about himself. 

Like your hair. You’ve noticed he brushes his hair to the side often, and not just to get it out of his face. He likes the soft, silky texture, which means Lash, currently, is caressing every strand of yours he can get his fingers on. On the flip side, with the amount of times he runs his hands through his hair, you know he melts when someone does it to him. 

Lash constantly licks his lips and purses them. You don't know why, you don’t care. It’s good for you, because that means he isn’t opposed to wet lips, and you know that if you lick his and kiss him firmly, he will fall apart. 

He also likes power. This is the most obvious. Who doesn't like power? The thing about Lash is, he likes to be drunk on it. He seeks it out even when he doesn’t need to and milks out that high for as long as he possibly can. Power, however, he likes to gain with a fight. Fighting is what you do best, and if there’s one thing about Lash, it’s that he will fight no matter what. He has no problem with it, and the struggle for ultimate dominance is what keeps him going. It pushes him, and the result is always victory. 

He wants victory over you, but you know him, so his victory depends on how you exploit him. 

Right now, Lash thinks he’s winning. You’re okay with letting him think that for a while longer if it means he keeps kissing you like this. What he lacks in surprise, he makes up for with enthusiasm and skill. 

Surprise was never too important anyway. 

You kiss and kiss, stopping a few times to suck in much needed air before going back for more. Eventually though, you pull back. 

“We’re missing class,” you remind him. 

He gives you a hard kiss that bangs your head against the metal locker, which you enjoy immensely, but you refuse to deepen it. 

“I will gladly take a tardy for this, but not an absence,” you insist. 

Seeing that you’re not budging on this, Lash groans and pulls away from you completely. Your front is suddenly very cold, but you pay that no mind as you make your way to the door. 

When you move to open it, Lash spins you around and presses your bodies together once again. Seeing his big round eyes plead at you plucked at your heart strings. “Fine. One more.”

Lash ducks down and presses your mouths together. You move your lips against his for a few seconds, secretly thankful he wanted another. 

You pull apart when you hear chatter in the hall. 

“We can't leave at the same time. I'll go first, then you,” you tell him. He hums, not really looking like he heard a word you said, eyes far away and lost to satiation. 

You slip out and simultaneously add two more things to your mental list about Lash:

Can and will beg and Gets kiss drunk.

Both very, very interesting bits of information. 

Over the next week, you and Lash realize you can’t make out in the detention room. The window made it too risky and teachers were in and out constantly. The locker room was out of the question after the first time, it would seem was too suspicious for you and Lash to constantly miss the beginning of P.E. on the same days and at the same time, and there were just too many stragglers in the locker room and the hallway. So Lash has the brilliant idea to kiss in the boy’s bathroom. 

You try it once and only once. 

You pull your mouth away from Lash with a smack. 

“This is the worst,” you deadpan. “You’re the worst. 

His jaw drops open, looking slightly offended. “Uh, I don't see you finding anywhere for us to do this. There aren’t that many options.”

You roll your eyes. “And one of them has to be a bathroom? Getting E. coli is so not worth it.”

“Fine,” he says, grip on your waist tightening. “Where do you think we should go?” 

“The back of the school, the roof, janitor’s closet, one of the many empty classrooms, behind the buses, under the bleachers,” you list off. “Literally anywhere that doesn’t involve a toilet.” 

You can see the irritation flashing in his eyes, but you can tell he’s mildly impressed. He bites his lip and grins, “You sound very eager to kiss me, you know.”

“Oh yes, very eager,” you say sarcastically. “Remind me, Lash, who was the one begging who to ditch study hall for this? Was it you or me? I can’t seem to remember.”

He’s still grinning, and you can't help but to match it with your own. Lash dips down and murmurs against your lips, “Me, but who came anyway?” and he kisses you again. 

His mouth is hot and fierce against yours, and you give as good as you get, sucking and licking him until he’s pliant enough to let out those soft noises you like so much. You scratch at his scalp and weave your fingers through his hair, occasionally pulling when you want him to do that thing he does with both of your tongues. 

Although, no matter how hot this is, him and the kissing and the sneaking around, you’re still in a public bathroom. 

The door creaks open and you pull off of him. You’re locked in a stall, but no one in this school has four legs so it was just too risky for you to stand there, whoever came in might see. 

You do the only thing you can think of: you wrap a leg around Lash’s hips and pull yourself up. Lash, always seeming to understand what you want, holds your body firmly to his and reaches down to grab at your other thigh. He lifts you with no issue, securing you in the air. Now all you have to do is wait. 

The thing is, you’re not the best at holding it together during tense situations, you laugh at everything no matter what. This is no exception. It’s just, the way Lash looks so serious, like being caught is a death sentence, humors you greatly. When you hear the guy relieve himself, you have to cover your mouth to muffle your giggles. 

It mostly works, but seeing Lash’s face of utter bewilderment at you makes it hard to stop. He mouths at you to shut up, but you can’t. Laughter makes your whole body shake and he has no choice but to wait it out. It’s getting pretty hard to breathe at this point and you’re a little dizzy, so you decide to rest your head on Lash’s shoulder, your mouth pressed against the hot skin of his neck. At least you can breathe now. 

The guy leaves, and you crack up again loudly, unmoving from your position. 

“You are,” Lash begins, sounding drained, “the weirdest person ever. Literally all you had to do was be quiet, what if he caught us?” 

“‘All you had to do was be quiet,’” you mock. You lift your head up and snort. “I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but you have to calm down.” Who would have thought Lash was the serious one between you two? 

Lash begins to bitch at you, but you don’t care enough to pay attention. You’re not with him to listen to him talk, and besides, what he’s saying is a whole lot of nothing. You don’t let him rant at you too long, deciding to bite his neck because it’s there and you want to do something with your mouth. 

It works. 

He grunts in pain and he shuts up for all of two glorious seconds before asking what the hell was wrong with you. 

“Lots,” you reply. “Now kiss me.” 

He shakes his head at you, eyes both disbelieving and in wonder. He’s still holding you up, and you have no intention of getting off of him, so he backs you against the stall and kisses you like a man starved. 

You try out other places at school, finding what works best and what doesn’t. You thought the roof was a safe place to go during lunch, but you had no idea how many teachers and students came up for a smoke. They took forever and there was no time for you and Lash to do anything, so that was out. Empty classrooms and under the bleachers were also a no-go, there was just too much traffic and exposure in those areas, and getting caught would be inevitable. You did manage a few sessions behind the buses, but you realize Ron spent most of his time there for some reason you can’t figure out. You like the guy, but he really needs a hobby, especially when it interferes with yours. You tried the janitors closet, but Lash nearly passed out from the fumes. 

The only place that works is behind the school. Students never went there, and the only people who did were maintenance workers and delivery guys. These were issues that had schedules, so you and Lash worked around them. 

You’re back there one day, sitting on a slab of uplifted concrete with Lash in between your legs. You’ve been kissing for a few minutes, and you didn’t have much time if you wanted to eat lunch that day. Lash, however, didn’t seem as into it like usual. 

He was pouty and slow, hands braced next to your thighs on the concrete, not really giving you anything to work with. 

You pull back and cross your arms, shooting him an expectant look. “Okay, what’s up?”

He shrugged. “Nothing, I’m fine,” he responds, moving back down to you. You stop him with a hand to his chest. 

You give him an ultimatum: “No telling, no kissing.” 

He has the audacity to look affronted with you, pouting even worse than before just because he was denied a treat. You raise your eyebrows at him and wait. 

It doesn’t take long for him to break, either because he knew this was the fastest track back to kissing or because he wanted to tell you, you weren’t sure. 

“You hair,” he says quietly, he bends his head down and rubs his neck, face flushing. “I like when it’s down, I like touching it.”  

Oh. You werent expecting that. You knew he liked your hair, but enough to get genuinely upset when he couldn’t have it? It made your heart stop. 

You let out a tiny, amused scoff. He stands there, sheepish. 

You’ve never seen him like this. 

“Okay,” you say. He looks up, his expression filled with blooming hope. Your hair is in two braids today, so you offer him one. He takes it hesitantly, unsure of what to do. You giggle and take your other braid, removing the tie and undoing the plait. Lash copies you, gentle when he removes the purple hair tie, slipping it on his wrist just as you had done, and he’s even more gentle as he uncoils your hair. 

He undoes it slowly, fingers brushing lightly on each strand. You watch him, heart threatening to beat out of your chest. The way his attention is fully focused on your locks with unfiltered amazement, just wholly enraptured, like he’s never seen it before causes an ache to sprout in your chest. 

When he finishes, you fluff out your hair, flashing him a smile when it settles. 

He blinks at you, mouth parting open. “Oh. It’s wavy.” 

Your smile widens and you bite your lip. His eyes track that movement with renewed vigor. “Yeah, that happens sometimes.” You reach for him, and he’s already tipping his head to catch your lips with his, kissing you with that familiar spark. It’s a bit different this time around, the way he moves against you and how he explores like he’s rediscovering you. You swear it's softer. 

Later, when you’re back in the cafeteria, you hear Speed's voice a table away, asking Lash where he's been and why he has that. ‘That’ being your hair tie. You don’t look over at them, instead you smile down at your food, pretending to listen to your friend talk. 

You and Lash continue to meet up, but after a few weeks you explain that you can’t continue to kiss him at school because your grades are suffering because of it. 

“So, you don’t want to kiss me because you got an A- in the Heroes of History test? You should be grateful, I got a C on that!” Lash looks extremely put upon, and you elbow him.

“I didn’t say we had to stop, just that we can’t do it at school anymore. Or, at least, as often as we have been. I can’t let my grades suffer.” 

He nods. “Alright, fine, you don’t want me to get in the way of your 4.0. I, however, am at a steady 3 and am perfectly fine with it.”

“Oh, sweetie, you don't have to tell me you’re okay with mediocrity, I’ve always known,” you say, voice sugary. 

“I hope you have fun with burnout in senior year,” Lash drawls, voice agonizingly calm. “I’m sure your Type A personality will be great at helping you with that, babe.”

You preen at him, not taking the bait. “I’ll be sure to mention it by name in my valedictorian speech.”

Tension rolls off you two in waves, both feeling the burn inside as you crash into one another, heavy and unstoppable. 

Five minutes and very swollen lips later, you’re heading inside. 

Lash bumps your shoulder. “If we can’t meet up here anymore, where are we gonna go?” 

You say, suddenly becoming shy, “Well, I was thinking, you could come over.” He furrows his eyebrows together and you tear your eyes away from him. “To my house. You can come over to mine. If you want.” 

Oh god this was so awkward. You were well aware of this line you were crossing, an unspoken boundary to keep this separate from your private lives. You haven’t set an end date for these meetups, but you would understand if you freaked out Lash enough for him to call off the whole thing right then. You were dreading it, to be honest. You had no idea what you were gonna do when this was over. 

But he doesn’t call it off, he agrees. 

You smile to yourself, not willing to show how thrilled you were. 

You did miss kissing at school, only meeting up there twice a week, but it’s so much easier to kiss him when you have actual privacy. You were a nervous mess the first time he came over. You cleaned obsessively and checked, double and triple, that your parents weren't home and wouldn't be until Lash was long gone. 

You led him into your room, fidgeting as he observed its contents. 

“Cute,” he remarks, fingering at an NSYNC poster. 

You swipe at his hand. “Don’t touch Joey,” you whine. 

He cackles. “Figured you be a JT girl,” he teases.  

You shove him and he, frustratingly, doesn't go anywhere. Instead, he snatches up your hand and tugs you forward. You crash together, limbs finding their way around each other, mouth inches apart. 

“Don’t you have a brother?” he mutters, eyes drawn to your lips

You shake your head. “Will’s at Layla’s. I dunno when he’s coming home, but he knows to knock before coming in here. He learned that the hard way.” Lash laughs, a short thing. You feel his air puffing on your skin, tingling all the way. Your gasp is soundless, and he chases the movement of your lips, but still not breaching the gap. 

“Oh? And what kind of scandalous thing were you doing for him to have learned that lesson, hm?”

You press your foreheads together and push his head back hard. Not enough to seriously hurt, but a clear punishment. You've never done that with him before, another boundary broken, but he doesn’t seem to mind. “I know what you’re thinking. No, it was nothing like that.”

You feel him vibrate as he hums, it shudders through you like an earthquake. “Will you tell me?” he asks. 

“Nope,” you deny. “You gonna kiss me anytime soon?” 

Lash brings a hand up to grip at your chin and tilts it where he wants, eyes dark and wanting. “You gonna let me?” He barely finishes his sentence when you surge forward, lips finally coming together, slick and demanding. 

A few days later, everything changes. 

You were invited to a party at Gwen's, and you knew Lash would be there since he’s part of her inner circle. You’re good friends with her, seeing as you’re both in the same year and popular, but they had this interesting four person (not including Penny’s clones) clique that remained exclusive. 

Gwen’s parties are always absolute ragers, and you had no trouble letting loose, drinking and dancing with your friends. There was also a karaoke machine, and you were part of the small group that had commandeered the mics. You got lost in the music, singing and swaying along, not caring how you looked or sounded, just basking in the fun. 

Unbeknownst to you, Lash stood in a corner, watching you the entire time. 

Had you noticed him, you would see the fond, amused smile that never left his expression. You won’t know this, but he was thinking of what a terrible singer you are. Enthusiastic for sure, but completely tone deaf. He thinks about how devastated he would be if you ever got any good. You’re having fun, though, and that’s all he cares about. 

Had you noticed him, you would have seen that smile drop, moments later, when he comes to a realization. Probably the most important one of his life. It’s dangerous and unsteady and tilts his whole world sideways, yet so unbelievably worth it. But you don’t notice. 

You’re drunk and your vision has blurred when you get pulled into a game of Spin the Bottle. It’s not your favorite game, but you whoop along with everyone else when people kiss. You think you’re lucky that the bottle never lands on you, until, of course, that’s exactly when it does. You’re a little reluctant, but rules are rules, and you get a peck from some senior who’s name you wouldn't be able to recall even if you were sober. 

You don’t take your turn, flipping off everyone who boo’s you as you hobble to the nearest bathroom. 

The truth is, you’re not too keen on kissing anyone who isn’t Lash. That senior was so unimpressive you forget about it as soon as it happens. It’s fine, though. Nothing you want to remember anyway. 

You finally find a half bath, kicking at the door, and hurl into the bowl. You’re grateful when you feel someone collecting your hair, holding it out of the way. They rub your back, and you know immediately whose hand it belongs to, having felt them on you many times before. 

Lash has only encouragement for you, and when your stomach is empty, you hold out your arm so he can haul you up to the sink. You find a bottle of mouthwash on the counter and grab it, rinsing and spitting habitually. You can see Lash watch you in the mirror, staring at you with an expression you were too drunk to fathom out.

Finally, when your mouth feels clean, you dissolve into giggles. 

“Oh no,” Lash groans. “You’re not one of those drunks, are you?” 

You’re still giggling when you nod, your whole body following the flow of your head, tipping forward. You catch yourself, and you can only snort in laughter as an exasperated Lash puts his hands on his hips, shaking his head all the while. 

You stop laughing, zeroing in on his pose. His arms aren't necessarily open, yet there were two perfect gaps in between his arms and body wide enough for you to slink yours through. You fall into him, doing exactly that. The urge you felt to stick to him like a second skin overrode everything else in your mind, and besides, he looked like he could use a hug. 

He’s frozen for a moment—not that you notice—before wrapping his arms around you too. You stay there for a long while, clinging and breathing each other in, the party outside nonexistent in the bubble you created. 

“Are you upset,” you ask Lash eventually. “You seem upset.” 

You feel him breathe in deeply then sigh heavily. “Yeah. A little bit.”

“Oh,” your heart sinks and you pull away. You’re still koala-ing him, but you tilt your head up to pout at him. “At me?”

“No,” he admits. He brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face. “At Ricky Wilkins.”

You squint at him. “Who the hell is that? That’s such a dumb name. Why are you letting some guy with a dumb name upset you? How dare he take away your smile! I like your smile. Lash,” you bat your eyes up at him, “can you smile for me?”

And he does. It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. “There it is!” You’re so enchanted by his mouth, so you bring up a hand to trace his lips. They’ve long since been burned into your memory, yet, in your state of drunkenness, you forgot how pretty they are.

“Why did Rocko make you upset?” you ask, still playing with his lips. 

“Ricky,” he corrects, but you’ve already forgotten it. “He kissed you.”

Your eyes dart up to his. “Nuh uh.” 

“Yuh huh,” he mocks lightly. “He kissed you during Spin the Bottle. That’s why I got upset. I didn't like seeing that.” 

You can tell he’s being honest with you, even if being open didn’t come naturally to him. You feel a warm flutter rise in your chest. 

“Lash, I can’t even remember his name.”

“Clearly,” he says sarcastically. Then he sighs and says quietly, “I didn’t like seeing you kiss someone else.”

“Oh,” 

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Lash smiles, it’s not the same as before. This one is hurting. “We never agreed to anything like that, you can kiss whoever you want. I’ll deal with it.”

“No,” you shake your head at him, “No, don’t do that. I don’t want to kiss anyone else but you. I haven’t since you. You’re too addicting for that.” 

Lash grins and eyes shiny at your lack of a filter. “You’re extremely addicting too, and it drives me nuts that you don’t know how much. I haven't kissed anyone else either.”

Relief pours through you all at once. “Then we agree. We don’t kiss anyone but each other.” 

The way Lash is looking at you now, like you’re something precious, makes you melt. 

“If it makes you feel any better,” you sigh in contentment, tucking yourself back into him. “I’ve never thrown up after kissing you.” The way Lash burst out laughing at your words made the bathroom the home of your symphony.  

Days later, you and Lash are, surprise surprise, making out on your bed. Him half on top of you, one arm propping himself up and the other roaming along your side, like he was a pianist and your ribs were the keys. You’re holding his face in both your hands as you kiss languidly. 

Lately, they’ve become softer, more purposeful. Your touches have also become more daring than they had been before. Fingers pressing deeper into skin, hands wandering further than normal, lingering where they shouldn’t. Kisses now all over faces and jaws and necks, biting and sucking and feeling so, so good. 

Lash’s hand skirts past your waist this time, trailing down your hip and over the side of your thigh. He traces a random pattern on your flesh before he grips it with a hot hand, and you gasp as he hikes your leg up and onto his hip and back. It was a bold move, and you knew he wouldn't dare go further. No matter how much you fight and defy each other, he would never make you do something you didn’t want to, and you were never compliant enough to let him. He’s still holding your thigh, you think you might kill him if he lets go. 

You’re kissing deeply, obsessed and intoxicated, bodies twisted together, lost to the world and only concerned with finding each other. 

Which is why, unfortunately, you get caught by Will. 

“OH MY GOD!” your brother screeches.

You and Lash startle apart, looking at the intruder. Will was in the doorway, flushing red and hands covering his eyes. Lash rolls off you and onto the other side of the bed, allowing you to get up and yell at your brother.

“William! Knock! You know this!” 

“I’m sorry!”

You roll your eyes. “What do you want,” you exhale. 

The dork still has his eyes covered. “Mom called, they won't be home until tomorrow. I was gonna ask if you can make Layla and I pizza.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever. I’ll be down soon.”

“Sweet, Layla’s gonna be so happy! She’s a vegetarian, remember? So no meat,” he reminds you. 

“I know, bud. Now get out of here.”

Will turns and speeds off, but not before running into your doorway first. “Oh my god, Will, open your eyes.” 

You turn around and see Lash getting up. After all, it’s usually about this time when he heads home. To be honest, you didn’t want him to go. You never did. 

“Hey, um, if you’re hungry you can just…stay.” The words fought you coming out, unsure how Lash would feel and what he would think. You’ve been crossing all kinds of lines with each other lately, was this really so different? 

Lash’s eyes widen, and for a heartstopping second, you think he’ll say no. 

“I could eat.” 

That’s how the two of you end up in the kitchen, Lash obediently following your instructions as you throw together a pie. 

Lash holds up an unmarked mason jar. “So, where does this come from?” he asks, and you explain that your dad homemakes it, it’s a Stronghold secret recipe. 

“Of all the hobbies the Commander has, I never would have guessed that he dabbles in homemade pizza sauce.”

“Hey,” you defend. “You’re holding a seven time winner of the annual Maxville Realtor’s Pizza Fest. Show some respect.” 

“Seven?”

“Consecutively,” you add.

Lash shakes his head at you with a grin. You’re quiet as you work together, comfortable with the peace that comes with the silence. When you finish your creation, a simple mozzarella spinach pizza, you pop it in the oven.

“Y’know,” Lash says, leaning against the counter. “I’ve realized that my mouth is super tender now. It’s totally your fault, by the way.”

“Wha— my fault? Do you know how much chapstick I’ve gone through these last few months alone because of you?” 

“Believe me,” Lash assures, “I know. You taste like a different flavor every week.” 

You slide up to him, head tilted. “Oh? What was today’s flavor?” 

“Not sure,” he says, nonchalant. It's not a very subtle segue but you’re not gonna complain. “I think I might need a reminder. Care to give me one?”

“Shut up,” you murmur, and kiss him until your lips bruise. 

The timer goes off sometime later and you detach yourself from Lash. You got out the pizza, and he offers to tell the other two that it’s done.

“Wait!” You stop him. “Wait wait wait, I need to check on something.” You get behind the wall that looks into the living room, and observe. You don't have the best spying skills, but their backs are turned, so it’s fairly easy to see what's going on and to hear their conversation. You feel Lash shuffle behind you, resting an arm around your waist as he peers around the corner. 

“What are you doing?’ he whispers in your ear. 

“Hush. I can’t hear what they’re saying.”

Unfortunately for you, Will is rambling on about something incredibly boring, Layla giving him her undivided attention as always, so you huff in annoyance and leave them alone. 

“Is it just me or is that green chick totally in love with your brother?” Lash asks, unprepared for the can of worms he just opened. 

You whirl around to face him. “Yes!” You whisper-scream, him reeling back at your reaction. “Will is an idiot! Layla isn’t subtle at all, oh my god. I can’t believe how oblivious Will is.”

“Maybe it’s a Stronghold trait,” he mutters under his breath, luckily for him, you’re too focused on the tween romance in the next room to catch that. 

“She’s been pining after him for so long, it’s reaching a point where something has to be done.”

“Probably best to let them work it out,” he advises. 

You nod. “Probably. Doesn’t mean I’m not keeping an eye out for any developments, though. They belong together, mark my words.”

“They’re marked.” 

You shove his shoulder. “Oh stop. Hey, we should probably tell them dinner is ready.”

The rest of the evening is relaxing, you and Lash messing around, teasing each other’s eating habits, and stealing bites of pizza. The four of you watch a movie but Will kicks you and Lash out for being too loud, so you grab his hand and haul him away, finishing dinner on the floor of your room, doing nothing but talking and talking and talking. It’s the best night you’ve had in a long time. 

Later, Lash lingers in the doorway as you’re saying goodnight. He hesitates in the threshold, opening then closing his mouth, not daring to speak his mind. He’s absolutely adorable like this, face flushed red and glowing under the fluorescent porchlight. 

“Yes?” you ask.

He ducks his head down, eyes avoiding yours before ultimately spitting it out. “Can I—uh. Can I have a goodbye kiss?” God, the way his voice was so shy and scared, like you’d ever say no to that, like you’d ever want Lash to be insecure around you. Like he thinks he can’t have you. 

“Yes,” you reply, and kiss him. 

He whimpers against your mouth, his emotions being nearly too much to contain. He cups one of your cheeks, guiding your head where you both like it. It’s slow and soft. You find the tenderness he was talking about earlier, finding the new sensitivity all-encompassing and everything. 

As you stand there watching him leave, you press your fingers to your lips to chase the impression of his mouth, memorizing and wanting. 

It’s almost sickening how sweet the two of you were with each other from that point on. You still spit fire and he tugs on your pigtails, this syrupy flavor just another addition to the zest of your relationship. These soft and vulnerable moments you keep allowing each other to see and to show off becomes like second nature the more you do it. You find it easy when it’s him.

You’re on your bed, panting after Lash left you breathless. From your perch on his hips, you watch as his chest heaves, similarly gasping. You run your hands up and down his torso, needing to feel the heat of his skin through the fabric as you both decompress from that intense session. When you reach the top of his sternum, he snatches your hand up and presses his burning lips to your wrist. Then, he laces your hands together and tugs you down. You fold, and peck his lips once, twice, three times before murmuring against his lips,

“Have you seen Pinocchio?”

Lash’s body stiffens under you. “I really, really don’t like where you’re going with this.”

“Please,” you whine, squeezing the hand that never let yours go. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to know. I’m talking years. Literal years, Lash. I’m sorry if you get asked this all the time, but I need to know: can you stretch your nose like Pinocchio?” 

“No one,” Lash says flatly, “has ever asked me that. I knew this is where you were going with that question, I just knew it, you absolute weirdo.” 

You cross your arms and level him with an unimpressed glare. You end up in a staring contest, neither willing to back down. You’ve played this game before and won, never mind that you and Lash always seem to tie. This time, you would not be the one to crack. You know him, you know what makes him fold like a deck of cards, and as the dealer you’re not above a little manipulation to satisfy your curiosity.

Slowly, you let your expression shift to one of hope, eyes shiny and brows furrowed, not quite begging but rather expectant that he would sacrifice something small like his dignity to show you a party trick. Then, you bat your eyelashes at him, not quick enough for him to think you’re doing it knowingly and on purpose like he rightfully accused you of before, but innocent, fluttering blinks timed perfectly enough apart to seem genuine. 

Lash sighs heavily, looking like he regretted every decision he ever made, and you try to not look half as pleased with yourself as you felt.  

Slowly, Lash’s nose stretches out a few inches. He doesn’t hold it for long, but just long enough for you to get a good look before quickly retracting it, his face back to normal, frown and all. 

You cover your mouth with your hands briefly, eyes bugging. “Oh my god. That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen.” 

Lash huffs, his bottom lip sticking out, and he twists his head away from you. 

“Hey, no,” you say, easy and comforting. You reach out and grab his jaw, turning it back towards you. “I wasn’t making fun of you, promise. I think that’s really cool. Thank you for showing me.” To prove you meant no harm to his ego, you smack a kiss on the button of his nose. 

His eyes blow wide, and for a second your heart starts to sink, believing what you did was a mistake. Lash proves you wrong, again, when his mouth stretches into a goofy grin. You light up again, and don’t think before falling forward to leave a lingering peck on his lips. 

He pulls back, just barely, and asks with complete adoration flooding his voice, “How are you real?”

This is when you know your heart belongs to him. 

For a while, neither of you take the next step. Cross the next boundary. You know what you want, and you’re almost positive he wants it too, but the thing is, you never stopped being each other. You’ve always been the same people since the beginning. There are only two ways it could end, and you weren’t ready to cross the finish line only to find out he isn’t the prize. That’s not winning to you. 

Speaking of winning, it’s something you plan on doing as the monthly Save the Citizen game was announced for P.E.

They didn’t participate every game, but Lash and Speed have been an undefeated team since freshman year, everyone dreaded going up against the powerful duo. Few came close to winning, but they were ultimately unstoppable. This time though, Coach Boomer threw in a twist. 

“I’ve been feeling a little bored, so I’m changing it up this time. Lash, Speed; as the undefeated victors, you will not be on the same team today.” The sea of students began to whisper, wondering what Boomer was doing. “You two will be on opposite teams and, because I’ve been spending too much time with Medulla, I’m feeling a little evil, so you will choose each other’s partner. Lash, you first.”

Lash deliberates for a second before choosing freshman hero student Brittney Wilson, AKA Freeze Girl. Interesting choice, you think, and wonder how Lash plans on winning when she has a stronger power than him. He’s pretty clever in a pinch and that’s how he and Speed keep winning, but sometimes brute force is all it takes. He does have two more years worth of experience than she does, and Speed isn’t known for being much of a tactician, so Lash isn't totally without an advantage. You continue to think of possible strategies Lash could use to combat this when you hear Speed say your name loud and clear. 

Suddenly, whispers rise all around the gym room, heads turning to look at you and gossiping immediately. You hear many students speculate about the easy win Speed and Freeze Girl are sure to have, because there’s no way you and Lash can work together long enough to win, your rivalry is sure to get in the way. Even Boomer and the other teachers looked surprised at Speed's choice, albeit also unable to hide their curiosity. Speed, the asshole, is smirking to himself. Good thing losing is not an option for you. 

A coin flip determines that you and Lash are the villains. You make your way to the changing room to get into your gear, passing Lash on the way, and you can’t resist an opportunity like this. 

“We’re winning, so I would really appreciate it if you don’t fuck this up,” you say to him, not that anyone but Lash can tell you’re teasing him.

He’s got an eyebrow quirked and a very bad poker face on as he peers down at you. “If you break my winning streak I’ll make sure you’ll regret it, Stronghold.” The you of a few months ago would take this as a threat, but you now see it as the promise it is. Whatever the results of the game are, you know you and Lash are gonna end it in your own way later. 

In typical high school fashion, the students around you “ooh” as you and Lash exchange barbs. You’re not paying them much attention though, now focused on nothing but winning. 

Soon, you’re inside the arena and you begin to strategize with Lash at your side. 

“You should take Speed, you know his moves better than I do. I can hold him off if he tries anything, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to face Freeze Girl alone,” you say, observing your opponents across the room. If you recall correctly, this is Brittney’s first game participating. 

“Yeah,” Lash says. “That’s what I was thinking. I don’t think beating Speed will be too hard, he’s too fast and too impulsive: he won’t stop and I can get him then. And he pretty much only has one move.”

You cut in, “You’re right, but you’ve never been his opponent before. You’ve never seen him from the other side. Don’t underestimate him, that’s a good way to lose.”

“Okay,” he agrees. “I’ll keep an eye on him. So Freeze Girl. She’s powerful and quick, but if she exerts herself too fast then she’s basically powerless. You have more stamina than her, so if you keep hitting her and don’t let up, she won’t have a chance to fight back. She’s also too mild—even if she does freeze us it won’t be enough to hurt.”

You nod along. “Exactly. She won’t dare try something that could seriously injure us, she’ll hold herself back. Try to stay as far away from her as you can, you won’t be able to stretch if she freezes you, but I’ll still be able to use my power. Also, I think she’s afraid of her powers, I’ve seen her use them in training. She’s prone to hesitating under pressure. I doubt she’ll think straight while worrying about us and the citizen. She doesn’t have the best control, either.”

“That could be dangerous,” Lash points out. “If she’s that untrained you need to be careful.”

You smile at him. “I know. I’m just hoping she hesitates enough for us to win. She’s not thinking about this as a battle between heroes and villains.”

“She’s thinking of it as a game in gym class,” Lash finishes.  

You stare at each other then with half hidden smiles and mischievous twinkles in your eyes, silently appraising the other and thinking about how good you are at this teamwork thing. It goes unspoken: you’re a team and you’re unstoppable. There’s no other way, not when you’re together. 

The game still hasn't started yet, and you take this opportunity to put your hair up. Fighting is much easier when there aren’t flyaways blocking your view. Only, the hair tie you had this morning is missing and there’s only one place it can be. 

“Hey,” you say, grabbing his attention (as if you ever lost it). “I need to put my hair up.” You hold your hand out, and Lash rolls up a sleeve, revealing your signature purple hair tie sitting snug on his wrist. He slips it off and hands it to you. 

As you’re gathering your hair in a ponytail, you can’t help but think of that morning when he took it from you, your memories filled with hot kisses and sharp nips, Lash’s fingers threading through your hair and making a mess so bad you needed to brush it again. He’s taken possession of so many of your hair ties because of his insatiable fixation. You don’t mind one bit. Over the last few months, you became accustomed to putting your hair up for the sole purpose of letting Lash take it down, still in awe of the way your hair cascades down and around you. 

“Good?” you ask him, showing off your hair. You hate when it isn’t smooth and he knows this. 

He pinches his lips together and hums in agreement. Despite that, Lash reaches up to flatten some stray baby hairs, shaping your face.

Neither of you notice the whispered exchanges all throughout the gym, starting when the two of you emerged from the changing rooms without biting each other’s heads off. Rumors began to circulate quickly with you and Lash accidentally fueling the fire as you interacted. 

Boomer takes his place. You see Speed whisper to Freeze Girl, she looks scared and unsure as Speed flattens his hands and gestures to the floor then to you and Lash, but then she nods, seemingly reluctant but agreeing with whatever he suggested. An uneasy feeling coils in your gut. 

Boomer is about to start the countdown, so you lean over to Lash and whisper, “The second the timer starts, jump. We need to stay off the ground.” Lash gives you a confused look, but it only lasts for a second as the timer blares, beginning the countdown. 

He trusts you, and when he sees that Speed doesn’t take off immediately, he knows why. 

The two of you jump, Lash stretching his arms up to hang from the rafters, and you use your powers to hover above the ground, looking like you’re standing in midair. 

Your instincts were right, because a few feet under you lay a sheet of ice, right where you and Lash were just standing. They were gonna freeze you to the floor. 

It was silent for a few seconds. Then, the crowd went wild. 

Lash drops down next to you, knowing you’d keep him off the floor. 

“You,” he says seriously, “are so hot.” 

“So not the time,” you respond, not being able to wipe the grin off your face, and he beams at you. Then, together, you charge into battle. 

The thing is, no one knows exactly how powerful you are. Most people know that you’re telekinetic, but not what you’re truly capable of. Your parents think you’re the most powerful person in the world. You think you’re just a teenager. They made sure you were trained properly, and through that, you found out just how strong you are. 

You deter Speed every time he comes at you, apparently not caring that he was supposed to save the citizen. At one point, as you’re blocking a rapid attack from Freeze Girl, you feel an arm wrap around you and drag you to the side. You realize it was Lash moving you out of Speed’s way as he attempted to catch you off guard. He didn’t account for Lash watching your back. You lock eyes with him, giving him a nod of thanks.

Eventually, after you threw him back and knocked him on his ass a few dozen times, he stopped going for you and focused on Lash. 

Brittney, bless her heart, tries her best. It’s almost enough, but if her opponent was anyone other than you, she most likely would have won instantly. She attempted to freeze you, make you fall, grab the citizen with her ice, but it didn’t work. Her ice just wasn't strong enough to combat your powers, so you broke through everytime. In the beginning, it was harder to do, but as she exerted herself more and more in a short span of time, she exhausted herself and her ice became weaker. 

Once, she attempted to freeze Lash while his back was turned, but you shattered the ice before it could go anywhere near him. She was a good fighter though, full of potential and capable of greatness if she applied herself. 

Lash and Speed were engaged in a game of cat and mouse. At the one minute mark when it became clear to Speed that Freeze Girl was no closer to the citizen than when the game started, he became desperate. Every move becoming wild and sloppy as the timer counted down. He attempted to jump to the citizen, something that would have been easier for him as the mannequin lowered, but Lash would slingshot or smack him away, even tripping him a few times. He did get close at the 15 second mark when he managed to knock Lash down, but you simultaneously defended yourself against Freeze Girl’s desperate attack of ice shards and used your powers to move the dummy just out of his reach.  

You and Lash won. 

Exhilaration flowed through you, hearing your classmates cheer, seeing Lash’s face light up at you, and that was an adrenaline rush in of itself. You were gonna run to Lash, not knowing exactly what you would do when you got to him, but all you were thinking about was celebrating your win. 

Unfortunately, Speed had other plans. You forgot he was a sore loser. 

The game was over, you weren't watching him, so when he ran past you at full speed, he shoulder checked you. Before you knew what was happening, the coupled momentum sent you flying, and you cracked your head against a wall of ice. 

You don’t fall, but you stumble, head dizzy and incredibly nauseous. The impact distorted all your senses, everything too loud yet muffled at the same time. Your skull felt like it was vibrating in your head, and the side of your head where the impact hit throbbed agonizingly, the ache clearly not dulling anytime soon. You feel something wet on your hair, so you reach up and immediately hiss in pain as you touch the tender spot. You pull your hand back, vision blurry and darkness creeping in, but what you can see is bright red staining your fingertips. 

You think you hear someone call your name, but you pass out before you can process anything. 

You didn’t expect to wake up in the nurse's office hours later, your entire body pulsing in pain. Nurse Spex began a series of inspections on you, testing your memory, motor functions, and everything she couldn’t while you were unconscious. She let you know that your parents were on the way, give or take a possible European villain detour. 

Turns out you have a mild concussion, and she advises you to take it slow for the next few weeks. You’d have routine check ups to monitor for brain damage, but she’s positive there won’t be any. Then, she asks if you’re up for a visitor. 

Your heart races as you nod your head yes, then you groan and clutch your head as you realize how stupid that was. She gives you a tylenol and lets someone in. 

To say you were disappointed it wasn’t Lash was an understatement. Brittney bounced in, one part freshman perkiness and the other incredibly and unnecessarily apologetic. Nurse Spex leaves you two alone, saying that she’s going to update the staff on your condition and how they can best help. 

After she finishes apologizing for creating the ice that hurt you and you assure her multiple times that it wasn’t her fault, you ask Brittney what happened after you blacked out.

She blushes and needlessly fixes her glasses. Then she practically gushes her next words. “Well, Lash caught you. You fell right into his arms like a princess! It was like seeing a fairytale play out right in front of my eyes! He was so worried about you. People tried to help when they realized what happened, but he wouldn't let anyone near you, only the teachers. I didn’t know he could be so sweet.” She sighs dreamily. 

“I do,” you say quietly, smiling to yourself. 

She blinks. “Oh. We were all wondering, I mean, his reaction was so unexpected but it all makes sense now. The hair and the jump and the way you saved each other. Like, it was all there.”

Her words are absolute gibberish to you. You ask her to explain. 

“It’s just, everyone saw how well you work together, even though it seems like you hate him. No one thinks that anymore about either of you. You were strategizing, and he had your hair tie, and the way he fixed your hair, I mean, you know what they say about hindsight. Oh! Not to mention the fight with Speed.” 

You sit up. “What fight with Speed?”

Brittney’s eyes widened. “Um. Lash probably would have been here instead of me, but he’s in detention because he got into a fight with Speed. About you. And he said—well, he said…” she trails off and bites her lip, looking down. 

“What did he say,” you urged. 

“I really shouldn’t be the one to say it, you should hear it from Lash. He kind of yelled about his feelings for you at Speed, but there were so many people there, I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who doesn’t know.”  

You were tired. So, so tired. “Yell what.”

Brittney waves her hands frantically. “No, seriously, ask Lash. I heard the teachers talking earlier, apparently he was begging to see you and they said they’re gonna let him soon. Ask him then.” 

You calm down, regretting losing your cool on her. She stays and talks for a few minutes and you promise to help her with her powers, but leaves when you begin to feel droopy. You’re asleep again soon after. 

This time, waking up was less painful. Your head still hurts like a bitch, but you felt more steady. You wake up slowly, feeling incredibly groggy, when you feel a squeeze on your hand. You open your eyes and see Lash next to your bed. Head resting in the mattress and sitting on the chair Brittney was in last. 

You squeeze back, his head shooting up near comically. His face shifts in a multitude of expressions going from shock to relief to worry to fear to joy and to a million others before settling on something soft, something just for you. He looks you up and down, assessing your well-being and making sure you’re okay. 

“Hi,” you say.

“Hi.” 

“How long have you been here?” you ask. His clothes are rumpled and his eyes have dark circles under them. 

“A few hours. It’s late, so they’re keeping you here until your parents come back in the morning.” 

You hum. “Will?”

“With the green chick,” he assures. 

You giggle softly. “I know you know her name.”

He shakes his head at you, eyes crinkling as he smiles. “Whatever.”

You two stay like that, staring and drinking each other in. 

Against all odds, you’ve become absolutely intertwined and fully enamored with him. He’s Lash, and he’s yours. You know what you do to him, how you drive him insane and obsessive and he’s completely fine with it because he’s nothing if not addicted to you. You are his too. 

“I love you,” you tell him. 

He gasps, all sharp and hopeful. He looks at you, really looks. He’s looking for a lie, a deception, a meaningless babble because of your concussion. The search is quick; he knows as soon as he starts looking that he’ll find nothing. 

“I love you too,” he admits softly.  

You wish he could kiss you, but you know he won’t risk anything right now. That’s okay though, you think. You’ve kissed him in almost every way that matters. You can wait a little longer for the last few if it means being with him. Here, as victors, having crossed the finish line together. 

#lash sky high #lash x reader #lash sky high x reader #sky high 2005 #x reader #if you read this whole thing THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! please let me know what you think! #im honestly not expecting any readers but i wanted to post it anyway. this is probably my most favorite thing ive ever written. #i put a LOT of care into this oop

[lookismlover]

Goo Kim x Reader: The Fake Date

Currently I have been writing a fanfic about Gun and Goo on Wattpad. I figured that I may as well share it on Tumblr as well. I'm still writing it , so it will be in different parts (not sure how many yet) but as of now this is all 3 chapter that I currently have written. Hope you enjoy :)

Hi all, just thought I should let you know that part 2 is currently up. Hope you enjoy!

You had always been infatuated by Gun since the day you met him, the day your father told you he was going to be your bodyguard. 

Whether it was with his fighting prowess, that bleak and mature, yet nasty attitude he had, or the overall mysteriousness he had enveloped himself in. You couldn’t put your finger on why, but you were. 

It had been almost 2 years since he was made your bodyguard, and even though you spoke every day and he was around you enough to see your tells when you were upset, angry or scared you still felt like you didn’t know him at all. 

By this point you realized that the so called “infatuation” you had with him had turned into you liking him, you didn’t know how but it had and yet Gun didn’t even bat an eye at you. 

He was there to protect you, not to be romantically involved with you, not in the slightest and yet you wanted him to be, even at the very least, you wanted him to look at you as a potential romantic partner.

Even though you knew this was never going to happen it was a thought that you kept locked away at the back of your mind because after all, even though you felt so close to him, you knew you were still so far away.

However there was one thing or should I say person that brought you too close together in any situation -  that was your shared annoyance and hatred for Goo.

You too also had that same annoyance and hatred for that yellow headed bastard.

Ever since you met him, you had never liked him. 

I mean what was there to like about him, he was obnoxious, self-obsessed, arrogant, conceited and overall just a money hungry pig.

You hated it whenever you would have to be in the same vicinity as him, let alone talk to him.

You hated that he was your fathers bodyguard and you had to put up with seeing him.

But what you hated more was that you had concocted a plan even you, yourself, hated in order to even try and get a smidge of affection, potentially even a straight up confession out of Guns’ mouth. 

That plan was to fake date Goo and make Gun jealous.

It was a plan that even you were willing to go through just to get Gun to notice you in a romantic sense. 

Was it something you were proud of coming up with - No.

Was it something you wanted to do to potentially get a reaction out of Gun - Maybe.

Was it petty and distasteful that you had even thought about this and were going to act upon it - Yes.

And so with everything you had thought up and concocted it was time to put your plan into action, the next time you were seeing Goo was tomorrow and so it was time to act.

__________

You wake up to the sound of your alarm. That ear piercing sound that aggravates you every morning. You always reach over and turn it off so you don’t have to hear it but again and again, it goes off.  

You soon get up and go do your daily morning routine like always, when you thought about last night, how you were going to act on your plan. When you remembered this fact, you could start to feel your palms sweating and feel heat rising to your face, when you hear a knock at your bedroom door. 

You come out of the bathroom and head to the door to open it when you hear an all too familiar voice behind the door, it was Gun. Gun was at your bedroom door at 9 in the morning. You open the door and see him standing there, already in some designer suit, his hair swept back with what you think is too much gel and those black sunglasses of his. You just look at him for a moment before he breaks the silence. “Hurry up and get ready, your father wants me to take you to get something for tonight” Gun says with the stern way he always does. You go away to say something, but you're too groggy to even think or say a snarky comment back to him and so you just oblige and go get ready. 

Within 20 minutes you're ready for the day but you’re still not eager to respond to anything anyone has to say, not even Gun. You leave the room to see Gun nowhere in sight and so you just think for a moment before realizing that he's probably outside, having a cigarette waiting for you. You walk through the house getting to the front door and long behold he is in fact there having a cigarette leaning against the car in the driveway waiting for you.

“Finally ready, huh?” he questions.

“Yeah” is the only word you're able to say in your still half asleep state, even though it’s been about an hour since you’ve gotten up. You see Gun slightly smirk before he puts his cigarette out and goes to open the passenger side door for you. 

You take this as a silent way of him saying ‘let’s go’ without using any words since you clearly can’t be bothered having a conversation with him. He gets in the driver's side and starts up the car while you sit with your head against the window, almost a sign to Gun that you don’t want to talk and that you’re too tired to even keep up a conversation. That and the fact that you’ve only given him a blank and measly stare at your bedroom door and a simple ‘Yeah’ when he tried to talk to you. 

You do in fact doze off before he even leaves the driveway of your father’s house. You wake up to Gun shaking your arm, you look around to see that you’re outside of a dress shop which you suspect you’re going into with Gun. Your suspicions turn out to be true when he says ‘let’s go then’.

You’re in the shop looking about while Gun sits on a couch, leaning his head back as if it's a chore that he’s even here right now, but after all he is your bodyguard. You pick out a few dresses and take them to the fitting room, each time coming out to try and get Gun’s opinion only to be met with a “mhm” or “just pick one” each time, without him even looking at what you put on. 

Until finally you find a dress that you really like. Not just one that you randomly picked out to hurry this up or a dress that a shop assistant picked out for you saying ‘this would look good on you’. 

It was a long black form fitting dress with a slit that ran up the right side of the leg, a corset type sternum piece that was sheer on the midriff and short off the shoulder sleeves that were barely connected to the dress but was still there. 

You take the dress and put it on in the fitting room with a pair of plain black heels that you also brought in and look in the mirror. You love the dress and the heels that you brought in on a whim look great with it as well. You go out and ask Gun what he thinks and again he just says the usual ‘mhm’ without him even looking. 

You’ve had enough of him being uninterested and so in anger you slightly shout “look at me, what you do think”. 

This definitely prompted a response from him since the first thing he did was pick his head off the back of the coach and look straight at you. You could see his eyebrows raised when he looked at you, but what you would have liked to know is if that was from your slightly over the top reaction or his reaction to the dress.

Without saying a word he stands up and walks over to you, you can’t see his eyes but it almost feels like he’s examining you in the dress. When he eventually gets to you he slightly looks down and then ushers for you to spin around, which you oblige. You slowly spin around while you can still feel Gun staring at you until you come almost face to face with him again, then he eventually speaks.

“This ones the winner I think” 

“You didn’t even look at the other ones, obviously you would say that this ones the winner” You say almost annoyed that he hadn’t been looking at you more. 

“I did look at the others, but there wasn’t much to look at with those” 

“Even if you did look at the others, what do you mean by there wasn't much to look at?” You ask, confused by what he means. 

“I mean those weren’t good enough for you, they didn’t suit you either, so this one really is the winner” He says almost sincerely, as if trying to pay you a compliment.

You can’t say anything to what he just said but you can feel your cheeks start to heat up a little bit and so you go back to the fitting room to take the dress and heels off before you go to pay for them. After leaving the shop Gun drops you back off at your home, saying that he has business to take care of and will see you at the event your father's hosting later that evening. 

You go into the house only to hear such an irritating voice coming from down the hall, it was Goo. You drop your bags in your room before going to look for the source of your sudden irritation. He was in your father’s study talking to him. You're about to walk away but hear the conversation between them both finish and then Goo walks out spotting you eavesdropping.

“Well well well…did ya have fun listening to the conversation princess?” He says sarcastically, knowing that him speaking to you is enough to get under your skin. But calling you princess however, he knows that will piss you off and it does. You scoff at him, not even saying a word before turning away until he speaks again. 

“Heyyyyy princess where are you going, lets talk for a bit” 

You stop walking when he says that only to turn and walk towards him. You get face to face with him, being a slight bit childish by putting your finger in his face before speaking to him.

“Stop talking to me and stop fucking calling me princess” You say angrily.

Goo starts to laugh which pisses you off and your anger bubbles over, you take your finger out of his face and go to slap him, but he just leans back and dodges it with ease.

“What was that for, I thought we were having a good conversation…princess” He says still smirking and lightly laughing while knowing that you're getting more and more pissed off.

“Fuck off dickhead” You say angrily, trying no to lash out again and turning around to walk away. But of course Goo couldn’t let you have the last word.

“Well either way i’ll see you later tonight” He says before putting his hands in his pockets and turning around to walk away.

You pause again while walking away to turn your head around to look at the yellow hair bastard that is now walking away from you. Again you scoff while you start to walk back to your room. 

You get back to your room and flop down on your bed laying on your back, hand over your face and thinking about your plan. After what’s just happened you don’t want to go through with it but you know that this is probably the only way to get Gun’s attention. 

But then your mind drifts back to the dress shop you were at earlier today, where Gun had hardly paid attention to you but complimented you in his own way. You start to think to yourself that this is a bad idea and that you don’t want to go through with it but at the back of your mind you know and you hate that you know this is the best opportunity you have to get Gun’s full attention on you, to get Gun to admit to himself that he might have any feelings at all towards you.

So even though you still think it’s a bad idea, all the thoughts that shoot through your mind get pushed aside with the realization that this is the only way to get Gun.

__________

It was now time for your fathers event, you had got ready, done your hair, makeup, the works.

You were now ready to try and have a civil conversation with Goo, or at least try your best to. 

You leave your room taking in a deep breath and walk towards the main area of your home where the event is taking place. 

By this point your stomach is in knots, not only thinking about what is going to happen when you eventually ask Goo about fake dating each other, but also what Gun might think of you.

You make your way to the end of the hall, where you take one more deep breath in rounding the corner before inevitably facing all of your father colleagues, work associates and other personnel at the event. 

You notice a few faces in the crowd and they notice you, you flash a quick smile at each of them before scanning the room again and spotting Gun. 

Gun was talking to your father, presumably about the ‘business’ he had to take care of earlier that day. Out of ethics however, you decide to go over and say hi to your father before trying to find Goo.

You make your way over, then you watch as your father slightly motions for Gun to quiet down as you’re arriving. You didn’t really care what they were saying to each other, you just wanted to find Goo and ask him if he would help - God, you never thought for a million years you would be saying that to yourself. Goo, helping you. HA it was actually laughable. 

You swiftly say hi to your father, Gun as well and then make your way to scan the crowd in search of the yellow headed prick himself. Eventually you spot him. Spending time, talking to the women that are there. I mean you say spending, but it is Goo, so you never know if the women are talking to him willingly or if he’s just harassing them. 

Whichever one it was you make your way over. Hesitantly, given the circumstances that happened hours before, you speak.

“Goo can i talk to you for a minute” you say in the nicest way you possibly can given that you hate him.

Goo turned around in utter shock that you were even talking to him.

“Wait me!?” “As in me, me, Goo Kim me” he says in sheer disbelief.

“Yes, you, can we talk for a second…away from everyone” you said semi-whispering so nobody could hear. After all, you were embarrassed that you were talking to him, let alone asking him to talk away from open ears and prying eyes.

Both of you exit the busy room as business associates of your father are crowding around him, talking about their next ideas and how great of a business man your father has become.

Unbeknownst to both of you though Gun saw you both leave, thankfully however he didn’t bother to follow you both.

He just thought it was odd that the both of you, of all people, would be talking and leaving a room together.

You decide it would be a good idea to drag Goo into the most secluded place you can think of, at least when it was so busy with your fathers’ business associates - his office.

After the two of you are alone, regret starts to come over you and then follows guilt.

You start to question why you're doing this, not only to yourself but also to Gun, the person you like. 

That is until Goo opens that obnoxious mouth of his. That regret and guilt soon turns to anger with the next two sentences that leave his mouth.

“Sooooo…are we here because you want a secret rendezvous and you want me to be the lover in this equation” he pauses for a second.

“If so I’m not interested in doing that with a bitch like you” he says bluntly and then smiles.

Already you can sense that this was a bad idea and that you're also about to explode with anger that he could even be so bold as to say that to you.

But then again, this is Goo and you hate him anyways with how self-obsessed he always is.

You calm yourself down as best you can in the situation and somehow you plaster a fake smile on your face, that even Goo can tell is fake before saying your next few words.

“No, i can assure you that’s not what this is” you deadpan.

“Oh, then what is this?” he asks, now slightly curious about the circumstances.

So, hesitantly, you tell him about what's going on with Gun and your feelings towards him, leaving out the part about fake dating the bastard himself in front of you until you hear what he has to say about all of this first. 

After you’re done explaining you look at Goo, no reaction is evident upon his face until an insane smile comes across it and then hysterical laughter follows. 

You let him laugh all he wants and then he eventually calms down, after 5 minutes or so, but he does calm down and his laughing spell comes to an end.

That is until he abruptly says.

“So why am I here then?”

“I’m not just here because you wanted someone to confide your feeling to and even then I’m not the one you want to confess to”

He wasn’t wrong, not in the slightest.

You ponder for a moment , trying to convince yourself that this was a good idea but in no sense of this was it a ‘GOOD’ idea.

Putting your pride aside and leaving your last shred of dignity that you still have left after telling Goo all of this, that so-called ‘secret’ that you keep hidden away.

You shakily say. 

“Well Gun doesn’t see me as a romantic partner, so-”

 He cuts you off before you can say anything else.

“Yeah no shit, he doesn’t see anyone like that, what do you want me to do about-”

“SHUT UP” you screamed.

This time you cut him off before he could finish.

You steady your voice as best you could before continuing on with what you were saying, while also answering his question that you screamed in the middle of.

“What I want you to do is…fake date me in order to make Gun jealous”

The room goes silent, even though it’s just you and Goo in it to begin with.

Even at that moment you could have swore that Goo had even stopped breathing in order to keep quiet.

But the silence was broken by the yellow headed bastard laughing. 

Not just hysterically laughing like before, but kackling, almost as if he was mocking you through his laughter this time.

“That’s the dumbest idea i’ve ever heard and i’ve heard some pretty dumb ideas in my time”

You think for a second before calculating your response.

“I know it is, but if you think about it and I mean honestly think about it, what is there to lose?”

You pause and then continue, answering your own question while Goo just lets you speak.

“You hate Gun and like to annoy him, I want to make Gun jealous or annoyed or feel some, ANY,  type of emotion towards me - at least the kind that’s visible”

“You don’t have to say yes and even I know that it’s a stupid idea but come on, what wrong with giving it a try, we would both get something out of it”

“Even if you say no though…DON’T… TELL…GUN…”

You stop talking to let Goo speak, then you hear footsteps coming towards you.

Not from outside but from inside, you hadn’t realized it but at some point during your monologue you had closed your eyes and tilted your head down.

The footsteps stopped about an arms length away from you and that’s when you looked up and opened your eyes to see Goo with a sinister grin on his face.

With the room still silent and you being slightly terrified of what was about to come out of his mouth, you back up, just slightly to be a little ways away from Goo. 

He just continues to move forward with that sinister smile of his.

You both continued to do this thing, Goo moving forward, you moving backwards, still not saying a word to each other. 

The only way you could describe it, was as though it was a weird game of cat and mouse.

But in this equation it felt like predator and prey. 

That is until you came to a stop, you had hit your fathers desk that sat almost at the back of the room, so you knew that by this point Goo had won this frivolous game of whatever it was. 

After hitting the desk however, Goo didn’t stop coming towards you - No, in fact he continued until you and him were practically face to face. 

Enough room to where your lips weren’t touching but you could feel his breath on your face and then he finally spoke.

“Sure”

With that, he spun on his heel and left the office leaving you wondering what he meant by sure.

Sure he’ll fake date you. Sure he won’t say anything to Gun. Sure…sure…sure. It played through your mind, again and again and again. Sure. What did he mean?. 

He left wondering what he meant and all you could continue to do was play the entire conversation in your mind. 

Still just repeating that one word over and over in your head, sure.

You soon snapped back into reality wondering how long you had been thinking about what he said, you also had to wonder how long you had been gone from the event. 

Then your mind started racing again when this time you really did hear footsteps coming from outside of the room. 

__________

Here is part 2 and 3 for anyone wanting to continue reading. I greatly appreciate everyone who has read any of the part. I am also still new to tumblr, so I only just figured out how to link and do some other things on here. Again thank you for the support on reading the first part, I hope you like the second! :)

#lookism #lookism headcanons #lookism hc #lookism x reader #goo kim x reader #goo lookism #lookism goo #kim joongoo x reader #kim joongoo #goo kim #lookism fic #gun park #lookism webtoon #webtoon #manhwa #lookism manhwa #park jonggun #lookism fanfic

[msviolacea]

enshrouded is the obsession for february

So, @garafthel and I have been absolutely addicted to Enshrouded the past week. Enshrouded is in early access, just released a week and a half ago on Steam. The Steam description calls it "survival, crafting, and action RPG" - think Valheim meets Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom, in a lot of ways. If you like crafting, gathering, building, exploring, with a smattering of occasionally challenging combat, then I very highly recommend giving this game a shot.

Survival games are not always my thing, mostly because I hate being on a perpetual timer - I want to be able to play the intended gameplay loop, whatever that may be, without having to constantly worry about whether I'm going to starve or freeze or whatever. I don't mind grinding for resources - it can be soothing, in fact, in the right game - but once you tell me I have to return to base every six minutes or else I'll be eaten by the shadows or whatever, I'm out. So the fact that Enshrouded only has a small bit of that is a huge plus for me. The vast majority of the land you can explore is perfectly normal; then there's the titular "Shroud," which is basically toxic fog, and you can only venture into it for a certain amount of time before you'll die. Going into the Shroud is necessary - most bosses and a lot of needed materials are there - but you can choose when you want to go in and how to tackle it.

The core conceit of the game - the plot, such as it is - is very Breath of the Wild. You wake up as one of the few survivors of a fantasy apocalypse long past, and now you have to make your way through this overgrown, ruined world, finding other survivors, making your home, and figuring out how to combat the deadly Shroud that still lingers. And ... that's pretty much the entirety of the plot. There's not a lot of story here. There's lore built into documents and artifacts you find along the way, that tell some of the story of what happened before the Shroud took everything, but don't expect anything narrative.

Since I know most people have probably just skipped over this because tl;dr, let's go with some bullet points to break things up, shall we?

You can play solo or co-op with up to 16 people. Either playstyle is totally viable, but co-op can definitely make the grind more entertaining.

You can build houses from scratch or choose to renovate/fix up old ruined farms and estates. The building system is very intuitive; it can be fiddly, and since the game is early access, there are some bumps along the way, but ultimately it's the easiest building system I've come across.

The vast majority of your time in this game will be spent gathering resources - to build, to fulfil quests, to make buff food, et cetera. Like I said, I actually enjoy gathering in video games, and this is a very satisfying gameplay loop for me.

The character creation is ... sparse. And all body types look kind of like hobbits. But there's a decent variety of skin tones, which is something.

The combat is pretty intuitive, I say as someone who is a mediocre action combat gamer. There's the usual array of options - sword and shield, two hand, bows, magic - but you can do everything if you want. And after just a few chaotic wipes, I started to get it enough that I'm able to solo the low-level bosses with just a little bit of effort. (Haven't gotten up to higher levels yet!) If you've played the last two Zelda games, chances are good you'll get this with no problem.

The whole world is hand-crafted - no procedural generation here - and it is HUGE. The developers say that only a portion of the map is currently available, that it will be even bigger when they get to full release, but even as it is it's bigger than most other games I've played.

Anyway. If any of the above sounds like your jam, I highly recommend picking this up, even in early access. I'm ridiculously impressed with what the devs have put together so far, and it's going to satisfy my urge to craft and gather for a good long while. I'm gonna have to take a short break for a few days for D&D and so I don't get hopelessly spoiled for Star Rail 2.0, but I'll be dreaming of renovating our cool farm the whole while.

#enshrouded #seriously it's so good #worth giving them money in early access for sure

[dolliuv]

I was just looking at the contents of your blog, and I felt like I found rubbish when I saw one of the anons calling you 'chicks' 💀. Anon, if you don't like a creator who passes by on your account homepage, just press 'block' and no need to insult the creator😃💔

And that anon was 'discussing' age? Bro, I'm the same age as Taki and Harua, and why do so many people always treat 05z like a baby. We are not babies or toddlers, please. We are of legal age:'). What's more, I also did 'sharp' things before I was 18. I was 'educated' by a school whose students came from various countries, some of my friends from Japan or Korea say they already smoke, drink etc (Before they are 18 years old...). I don't feel disturbed, because it's their right. I am not their parent who has the right to scold or lecture them. They say 05z is a baby, but 05 children can already make a baby if without protection💀💀💀 (Sorry I have to say this).

I also wouldn't be surprised if my bias (especially Jo) had already done 'that', because I can't or even control what he wants. After all, it was his choice😃. I know, in Japan there are already people doing that before they are 18, and I'm not surprised by that. My Zerobaseone's bias, Ricky, even had a tattoo before he was 20 years old, and there are still people who say 'Age 18/19 = Not legal yet' 👁️👄👁️. Spain's Crown Princess, Leonor, even drank alcohol on the day of her constitutional oath + on her 18th birthday... Billing herself as 'Legal Teens on the Way to Adulthood'

I don't think this anon knows how teenagers nowadays behave which is sometimes terrible, I wouldn't be surprised if idols were like today's teenagers in general (Especially if they have been raised in a 'free' environment, such as Japan, Korea, America or other European countries)..

Hey darling, you can write whatever you want, don't think about what other people say, just think of them as just a scary wind🫶🏻.

And for anons who hate creators, just block the creators you hate and don't FUCKING leave stupid, mean comments 🙂🙂🙂...

Ugh, I really hate anons who often act like they are the cleanest people around🫠💔

thank you my luv ^__^ 愛してます !! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

i genuinely don’t get why that anon was on me about it😭, plus they sounded so conceited and then tried to flip it on me calling ME rude 💀.

and yes you’re right about how most ppl in japan do anything b4 legal age and again myself included, do infact do that 😭.

you’re very sweet, tysm <33

#; ivy’s thoughts 💭 #; anoniez 🧃 #; ivy rambles 🫧

[sweetandscarlet]

“you wouldn't want everyone to know that the most powerful witch in the world is secretly a brat now, would you?” | pt 2

notes: reposting because the og one didn’t show up in tags so fingers crossed this one does 🙄 here is the follow up of the first part, if you haven’t read it yet you can can here ! ps i highkey loved writing this :) jealous wanda is chef kisses

warnings: 18+ jealousy, degradation, mention of violence, cunnulingus, bottom! wanda, top!reader, magic, use of the word daddy. minors DNI!

words: 3.7k

wanda's hands shook as she reached for the hem of her dress to smooth it out and situate it back over her waist. "was i good?"

"you were very good, baby" you cooed, your hands reaching out to help even out the mess at the back of her head. you threaded your fingers gently through her hair and once you were happy with it you placed a gentle kiss on the side of her head. "now, how about that drink?"

the redhead let out a shaky breath before turning around to face you. "i won't be able to sit down, i hope you know"

a chuckle escaped your lips as you reached a hand up to cup her cheek, your thumb gently running along the soft skin underneath. "i'm counting on it, wands. maybe it'll teach you to behave from now on"

wanda just groans in response but instead of her usual witty comebacks she just nuzzles her cheek more into your hand and you can't help the backflip your stomach does at the action.

"come on bub, let's go back out there and then we can go home" you place a chaste kiss on her forehead before trailing your arm down from her face to entwine your hands together in a comforting grasp.

wanda smiles in response before nodding as she follows behind you as you exit the door you came in. "how long have we been gone for?"

realization hits you and you can't help but laugh. "shit, good question... ah well, i doubt they even care"

wanda squeezes your hand and tugs on it in protest, your aloof demeanour not impressing her at all. "y/n i'm serious, what are we going to say?"

you stop in your tracks, turning to face the woman with contorted eyebrows and her bottom lip jutted out in a pout. "listen, none of them can judge, remember when bucky didn't turn up to my birthday party because he was too busy with some french girls?"

"yeah but-"

"but nothing baby, it's not a big deal. now c'mon before i throw you over my shoulder and walk us in there myself"

wanda feigns a gasp before playfully slapping your arm. "you wouldn't dare"

the sound of laughter interrupts whatever conceited comment you were going to make about your biceps and before you know it wanda's tugging on your arm again and pulling you back down the hallway and into the main room of the compound.

surprisingly the party was still in full swing; drinks were still flowing and overlapping chatter filled the room. wanda, who still had a firm grip on your hand pulled you over to the bar, her eyes rolling when she realized the other redhead she grew to despise was standing alongside it as she supped at her drink.

she hated feeling this way, she really did because natasha was such a good person, wanda knew that and so did everyone else but what they didn't know was that the russian harboured the most inappropriate crush on her girlfriend and wanda was not a fan of sharing what was hers.

as blatantly naive as you were, wanda knew her intentions. she could hear them oh so loudly whenever you were both in the same vicinity and wanda hated how she thought of you with a burning passion.

"you're both back!" natasha beamed, drunkenly stumbling over to pull you into a warm embrace.

you chuckled awkwardly as the woman's arms wrapped around you tightly and all you could do was tap her on the back as your eyes landed on wanda.

"someone's had a bit too much to drink" you uttered in response, giving the woman a sympathetic squeeze before pulling away from the hug. "want me to get you some water?"

natasha's arms stayed resting on your shoulders and you instantly shot a confused look to wanda at her close proximity but to your surprise, the sokovian wasn't meeting your gaze as she shot a cold death glare at the other avenger, her eyes fixated on her and nothing else.

before you could ask if she was okay, natasha had dragged you back in for a quick hug, pulling back slightly to press her lips to your cheek. "i'm good," she slurred, the smell of whiskey prominent on her tongue as she spoke. "wanna dance?"

"um, well wanda and i are just going to get a drink, then we'll come and join you and the gang again" you motioned your hand to your girlfriend who stood unnoticed next to natasha.

the russian just shrugged in response, mumbling an 'okay' before she picked up her glass off the bar and made her way over to the crowd of people.

you let out a sigh of relief as you watched red hair fade away from view. "jesus, what was wrong with-"

your words died in your throat when you turned to face wanda, her cold expression still evident, catching you off guard. green eyes were long gone as red irises stared pointedly into the crowd.

"wow, baby, what's wrong?" you asked hurriedly, your hands softly gripping wanda's rigid arms to turn her towards you. "why are you-"

"she fucking does it on purpose i swear," the witch spits, her body facing you while glowing irises stay trained in the sea of people. "it's like if she pretends i'm not here she can live out some sick fantasy where you're together, i've got half a mind to blow her brains from the insi-"

"wanda, wow!" you interject, one hand gripping her chin to turn and direct her view towards you. "what has gotten into you?"

you stand there waiting for a response to explain your girlfriend's sudden erratic behaviour. instead, you're met with a cold hard stare as red glows around her pupils. "what?"

"you've got her lipstick on your cheek" wanda murmurs through gritted teeth, her eyes burning a hole into the red print of natasha's lips on your face.

you gasp, your eyes instantly widening as you slap a hand to the cheek the russian had pecked moments ago. you promptly brought the hand to your lips, licking the tips of your fingers before desperately rubbing away at the trace of natasha's mouth on your skin.

wanda raises a delicate hand, fingers waving slightly as she lets her powers build up and swirl around them. "once i'm done with her she won't be able to-"

"oh my god, wanda stop it," you hiss, the hand that was on your cheek moving to cover the red tendrils that swarm around the sokovians'. "you aren't doing anything to her, she's just drunk okay?"

"but you can't hear what she's thinking!" wanda utters in response, her voice low as she speaks. "she wants you and you're just too innocent to see it"

your hand grasps wanda's wrist and before she can protest, you're dragging her through the room and back down the hallway you were both once in not that long ago.

"inside now" your voice booms down the empty collonade as you order her back into the room you had spanked her in.

wanda meekly shuffled forward, her head hanging low as she walked in. "before you get your belt out again, please just try to hear me out at least"

"ah, so you know what you've done then, you little brat"

wanda huffs at the name, bringing her arms up to cross them over her chest in annoyance. "daddy please, it's not my fault"

"hmm, you seem to say that about a lot of things but fine, say your peace" you reply, leaning your back against the door you closed behind you.

wanda mentally rolls her eyes at your response as she shifts on her feet. "you have no idea how hard it is to listen to that glupyye shlyukhi thoughts about you whenever we're around. she knows what she's doing and it's fucking infuriating, it's-"

"hold up, to that what?" although you were confused as wanda switched between her native language, a part of you couldn't help but be amused at this whole ordeal. sovokian slipping through her speech only indicates a handful of reasons. horny, frustrated, angry or jealous and if you had to guess, you'd say your girlfriend was all of the above. but, you assume the latter. "is my little girl jealous?"

you half expect wanda to act naive and deny the accusation but when wanda's face contorts and growls a simple 'yes', you can't stop the chuckle that escapes your lips.

"honey," you start as you step closer to the seething woman, "you have no reason to be jealous, you're all mine and i'm all yours"

"but she-"

"take a deep breath, doll, i miss your green eyes" your words trail off into a whisper as one of your hands reaches under thick red locks to gentle grasp at the back of wanda's neck, your fingers scratching softly against her skin.

wanda's eyes fall shut at the contact and she immediately inhales shakily before letting out a deep sigh.

when she looks back up at you through hooded eyelids you watch as red soon fades to green and a smile instantly is painted across your lips. "good girl, that's much better. you feeling okay?"

"i feel less inclined to kill someone tonight so i'd say so yes"

hot breath ghosts over wanda's lips as you snigger in response. "thank god for that, huh? i am so not in the mood to be cleaning up blood tonight"

wanda laughs at that as she shifts closer to you until her lips graze gently over yours.

"..although, even though it's so morally fucked, you wanting to kill someone just for being flirtatious is kind of hot"

the redhead moves a hand to gently place it on your chest, her fingers advancing upwards slightly to play with the chains that hung around your neck. "i would do anything for you"

wanda tugs faintly on the silver she holds, a whimper escaping her lips as she waits patiently for you to say something. but, that little noise is all it takes for you to surge forward and connect your lips with hers.

"i want you.. to get down.. on your knees" you murmur in between kisses, the hand at the back of wanda's neck moving to grasp red strands in your fist.

wanda's body dropped as if she was on autopilot after hearing the words fall from your puff-kissed lips. the redhead let out a grunt as bare knees hit the floor below her and shaky hands immediately flew to your pants as she rushed to undo the belt. once she did, she popped the button of your fly open and with a quick foul sweep your jeans pooled at your ankles.

"fuck" is all wanda could say when her eyes landed on the dark patch of wetness on your underwear. she licked her lips eagerly before tilting her head up slightly to meet your gaze. "can i?"

you brought your teeth down on your bottom lip, biting harshly at the sight of wanda on her knees for you. the most powerful witch in the world submitting easily just so she can lap at your cunt like a good slut.

"go on, baby," you nodded, your voice husky as the permission fell from your lips. "make daddy feel good"

wanda wasted no time as her hands raised to the hem of your underwear, eagerly dragging them down to join where your bunched-up jeans lay. a soft gasp escaped you when you felt the cold air hit the warmth that was situated between your legs. you kept your hand behind the sokovians' head, your fingers threaded through the other woman's soft red hair.

“fuck, you’re so good at that, angel” you compliment, slightly bucking your hips against her as she continued her movements.

the redhead hummed in delight against your cunt at the praise, the vibrations making you grip her hair tighter. wanda drifted downwards after a few moments passed, her tongue shifting to lick long stripes through your wet folds.

“so delicious.. so sweet” the witch murmurs, her hands grasping either side of your thighs to pull you closer to her.

you arch yourself into wanda's mouth as she laps desperately as your slit before inching closer to flick her tongue over your pulsing hole. when she receives a wonton moan from you she grips one of your thighs and pulls it to rest over her shoulder, opening you up more to her.

wanda instantly hardens her tongue and proceeds to push it inside, her movement teasingly slow as she bobs her head.

“god, that’s it, my little witch, fuck my pussy with your mouth like a good slut”

the sokovians' hands grasp at your thighs, blunt nails digging into the skin as she desperately tries to bring you closer to the edge. she instantly doubles down on her efforts when your chest heaves and your pants deepen. the hand that threaded through thick red locks began to tighten as you pulled her impossibly closer.

wanda whimpers when your walls clench around her tongue, her tastebuds being greeted by more of your sweetness as a gush of pre-cum coats her taut muscle.

"shit, i'm gonna- don't stop" is all wanda heard before a moan is ripped from your chest and your thighs squeezed hopelessly around her head, trembling as you feel every nerve in your body ignite in a hot white flash.

the redhead continues her thrusts inside of you as she ignores the persistent burn and numbing ache she feels in her mouth. as much as her body screamed at her for oxygen, wanda loved nothing more than to make you tumble over the edge and shake for her as your orgasm crashes through you like a bulldozer.

after a few more moments pass, your thighs soften around her and the grip on her hair loosens as your orgasm washes over you like a wave of relief.

"oh god, that was... fuck," you gasp out as your eyes fall shut and your body begins to relax once euphoria settles in. "i love your mouth, so much"

wanda hums in appreciation and in spite of the twinge of ache she feels in her tongue, she slowly pulls out to kitten lick at your folds, drinking in every last drop she can muster.

you stay still as you try to catch your breath and once wanda is satisfied she moves away before lifting off of her knees to stand on her now shaky legs. "how was that, papochka?"

"really, really good..." you utter, your voice hoarse and dripping with arousal. you can't help but groan at the sight of wanda when she comes into view; hair tussled, hooded eyes and her lips and chin slick with your cum. "i think you deserve a reward now, don't you?"

the redhead near enough gives herself whiplash from how quickly she nods her head in agreement and you chuckle in response.

"tell me what you want, my love. your reward, your choice"

wanda thinks for a solid second before surging forward to press her lips against yours. you hum at the taste of yourself and your tongue flicks out to lick at her bottom lip, silently asking for access to deepen the kiss.

wanda instantly gives it to you and you swallow a squeak of surprise that escapes her when your hands fall to grip her hips, pushing her backwards and against the wall.

"i want both," wanda spoke after tearing herself away from your lips, "your mouth and fingers, please"

one of your hand's trails down the smoothness of her dress, your fingers dancing on the soft skin of the inside of her thighs before shifting upwards. "well, what my princess wants my princess gets"

#wanda maximoff/reader #wanda maximoff smut #wanda maximoff x reader #multiverse of madness #wandavision #marvel mcu #mcu fanfiction

[multismileee]

Ranking OF Characters + their relationship because I need to rant before I combust :)

Wow what an episode this past one was… down below I’m going to break down my personal feelings and thoughts for each character so enjoy I guess & feel free to lmk if you agree or disagree.

Mew: I have mixed feelings about him, there’s no better way to explain it. He’s entering his villain era which ngl I love for him, they need to stop messing with the nice ones and expect them to stay quiet and sane. However, I have a bad feeling about him going to deep in his revenge against Top and Ton, and losing himself. He’s actually such a mastermind, the way he gets revenge is so satisfying. I truly don’t think he loves Ray like that and instead he thinks well maybe he’s who I need to, because at least I know he’s in love with me. Which explains why he said “perhaps the one I should love is you.” I don’t blame Mew, I think he’s genuinely confused rn, especially since Top was his first relationship. I just hope he's not using Ray, and he actually wants to explore how that goes. I just have this weird feeling that Mew is smarter than he looks, and he is purposely giving off a naive look to get away with things. UPDATE: I just saw this tik tok about how Top shared his trauma about fire with Mew (I actually completely forgot about that) and that’s why Mew decided to burn the paper / memory… that would explain both of their expressions, I NEED AN INHALER, THESE THEORIES ARE TOO GOOD.

Top: FRICK THIS MAN. Deserves everything that’s coming his way fr (#1). I felt bad for him slightly but that’s only because I do think he was slowly becoming better because of Mew. However, if he was insecure about Mew and Ray, he should’ve just asked. Instead he let Boston (I’ll get to him soon) of all people talk him into believing that more happened that night. Then, sleeping with his bf’s best friend to ‘even the playing field’ was so disgusting. I give him like half kudos, actually more like 1/8 kudos for stopping Boston in the elevator (the bare fricking minimum but it’s a lot for him) but he should’ve just owned up to what he did and talked to Mew. Instead he had the nerve to be jealous of Mew and Ray, even going as far as to accuse Mew of sleeping with Ray EVEN AFTER he got revealed for cheating. I also hate the way he says stuff like “I will make you fall in love with me again” he always sounds so conceited and arrogant. I hope he realizes that Mew is the best thing to happen to him and grovels to his feet.

Boston: I’m in awe of how awful this man is, like just when I think there’s no way he can be worse, he proves me wrong. Deserves everything that’s coming to him fr (#2). (Side note: can we talk about how talented of an actor Neo is??? He’s so good at playing Ton!!! I think he is narcissistic because I don’t understand how he can be so oblivious or ig non-caring of everyone else’s feelings. Even when it was discovered that he slept with Top, he turned it all around and told Mew that without him, he wouldn’t have been able to get Top… THE ABSOLUTE NERVE OF THIS MAN. Mew was so real for kicking him into the pool and punching him, because he needs it beaten into him. I also find his character fascinating, I noticed a couple of times how he will purposely change his calculating expression to one that is drunk and oblivious to everything. There was the time they were at the bar and he calls Ray a burden (I need to make a whole new post if I wanted to rant how much I hate that they call him that), and again when they were celebrating Mew's birthday. I do think that some of this detachment and not caring stems from the fact that he wants to move to pursue his photography, so he thinks "why care, if I'm leaving it all behind"

Nick: He's another confusing character, I just don't know how to feel for him. I mean at first I felt bad for him because he genuinely likes Boston for whatever reason, but seriously the way he goes about EVERYTHING is so wrong. Firstly, his interest stems from him snooping in Ton's phone and then proceeding to j*rk off to him like... that's so messed up. Then he takes a photo of himself, and okay that leads to them sleeping together. No matter how much I dislike Boston, he did say from the beginning that he wasn't interested in a relationship, he made it clear. Therefore, really Nick didn't have any reason to do the things he did. THE TAPE????? That was so so messed up. He not only recorded him without his consent, he then shared that with Sand. I can't even feel bad for him anymore, he's just so delusional and lost, and I just want him to find someone else and realize there's better out there then Boston. I wanted him to stop trailing over Ton like a lost puppy. Also side note: the way he said "I'm nasty too" when talking to Top, okay Nick go off ig. I need him to have his "idc" era so Boston will be the one beginning for him instead.

Ray: I was literally defending Ray since the beginning (still kind of am) but honestly, I'm so disappointed. There's so much more to his character then what meets the eye. I firstly want to say this and get it out of the way, FRICK RAY'S FRIENDS... every single one of them. It was obvious from the beginning that he had drinking problems, and yet it doesn't seem like anyone has tried to talk to him, to help him realize he's struggling with alcoholism (I know Ray is an adult, but addiction is not always easy to see, if a friend of mine was obviously struggling with something, I would help however I can). And before anyone goes "But Mew was there.. blah blah" I will shut that down rn. I appreciate Mew being his emergency contact, I really do but the way he acts sometimes sounds condescending. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE CONVO IN THE BATHROOM ON MEW'S BIRTHDAY: Him saying "You're going to die before 30"???? How could you say that knowing he was/is su!c!dal. (Sorry I went on a tangent when I was supposed to be talking about Ray's characterization). Anyways, I feel like since he's never had a genuine friendship or someone who wants him not for his money, he latches onto Sand. (I know their "relationship" starts off of money but later it's more). Another reason I say this is because at Mew's birthday, he tells Sand "If you want money, sleep with me" which I think is from his insecurity that Sand doesn't actually want him, and that he would end up alone again. His mom is dead, she was never comforting or close to him. His dad (frick him) only cares about the car and didn't care that he was in hospital. (I'm still curious what he asked Sand to do). However, I think this shaped him to start taking advantage of Sand. Just like Boston, Ray did make it clear from the beginning that this was in no means a relationship so he's not technically in the wrong. It just sucks, because you can tell he is at least attracted (it actually runs deeper, I know it) and I truly think he only loves Mew as a friend, and because he was just so glad someone was there for him when he needed someone the most.

Sand: BEST CHARACTER OF THE WHOLE SHOW FR FR. He deserves the whole world, and I will defend him until the end, he can do no wrong. (Okay so it was wrong how he manipulated Ray into exposing Top and Ton but honestly, it needed to be done.) I love how he was just minding his own business, living life until Top made him angry.. Then he woke up and chose violence, causing everyone's dirty laundry to be aired. I really felt bad for him and Nick in the scene when they were hugging because they are literally two feathers of the same bird, they are in the exact same situation. I love him and I'm glad he knows his worth (I say this because in the preview of ep 8, he says "I'm not your rebound") IKTR SAND, YOU TELL HIM!!

Cheum: Girly needs more screen time fr :( They need to show more of her and April, I loved that they showed them communicating their issues. I also think it's hilarious how she tries to stop fights, like she screamed for Boston and Mew to stop fighting but didn't jump into the pool LMAO or when she sprayed everyone with water when Top came to see Mew at the hotel. I think she knew about Ray's feelings for Mew, or at least she found out at the party for sure. Either way, sometimes she needs to think before she says stuff, but I still love her anyways.

RELATIONSHIP RANKINGS

Ray + Sand -> even though Ray is on time out right now for the way he keeps hurting Sand, I still want them to be endgame. I truly think Sand brings out the best in Ray, and Ray understands Sand is a way that others don't. I do however want Sand to make Ray jealous so he will open his eyes and realize that Sand is the one for him. (Side note: I need the sad edits to stop, why does every freaking romance song fit them???) Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo and them >>>>> (that's literally their song, don't try to fight me).

Cheum + April -> cuties that haven't done anything wrong yet, and just love each other. I NEED MORE SCREEN TIME OF THEM THOUGH!!!

Ray + Rehab -> This would also be cute <3 I want this along with Sand and Ray, a throuple if you will.

Nick + self love -> he just needs to first learn his own worth before he can get into a relationship. I'm hoping the guy in the promo for next episode is an ex, and that they end up being good for each other. I do not want him with Boston, that's for sure.

Mew + therapy -> I feel like he's going to need some after dealing with Top and Boston, I hope he finds someone way way way better than Top.

Boston + detention center -> someone get this man and let him isolate to himself. Since he's so narcissistic, this shouldn't be too bad, he can listen to himself talk all day <3

Top + no one -> Since he thinks everyone wants him, I hope he ends up alone and realizes that he sucks, and how he treated everyone was not okay.

#only friends the series #ray x sand #top x mew #boston x nick #cheum x april #only friends spoilers #ray x mew #top x boston #spoilers ig #gmmtv