#i hate the things my hands create

[jorisjurgen]

edit:

#kh #kingdom hearts #kh days #axel #saix #roxas #xion #mymemes #i hate the things my hands create

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[dimeadozencows]

I have endured what no one on earth has ever done before

I put my lips to the hands of the man who killed my son

#deltarune #gaster #deltarune player #i love still headcanoning gaster as sans and papyrus's dad despite knowing that he saw everything that happened in undertale (including #the no mercy route) and seeing how friendly he is with us in deltarune #you would think he'd hate us and want do nothing to do with us or to hurt us but. he wants to create a new future with us. #he thinks that our search for him is a wonderful thing. he thinks we created a wonderful form. hes thankful for our time. #knowing this while still believing he's the father of characters we've killed makes him such an interesting character #we know he's tied to undertale so regardless of if he's actually their dad or not we have hurt people he knows #and he still treats us with so much care #i love this guy. i wanna know him already #this was fully inspired by a gorgeous drawing by WolfyTheWitch on twitter #of. actual priam jskdjdk #this was drawn using my poor poor pilot pens during classes over three days. i need to buy new ones now lol #i need to use this technique more often #its super time consuming but it looks so cool. and the paper has such an interesting texture now :]]] #i also LOVE drawing gasters hands all melting and barely even like hands #and brown paper packages tied up with string #my art #*i edited this a bit in digital i forgot to mention that gdjdjfk

[lovesickeros]

☆ love; heretical and divine

{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 0.8k

To love a God is heretical. It is an act of blasphemy– it is to drag them down from their throne of hollow gold, to topple the pedestal the worshipers uphold on their shoulders like lambs at the herders heel. It is the act of forcing them to their knees and ripping that beating heart of glorious gold and beautiful, cruel divinity from their chest, so pure it burns.

To love a God is to make them sin. To make them painfully, horribly human.

To love a God is to sin.

The love of a worshiper is no love at all, brilliant in its raw purity, untainted by sin. It is fear and obedience masked by adoration so overpowering it corrupts. It makes the lamb so unquestioning in it's faith it will never question the knife that cuts, the teeth that rip, the claws that tear. If the Creator deemed them unworthy of the very life crafted by their hands, then they must have committed a sin so grave there lay no salvation for their horrid soul.

But she is no worshiper– her lips speak of heresy as easily as she breathes, her words nothing but lies, cold and cruel like the ice that crawls along her skin like webs.

She loves a God like a lover should.

A damned sinner reaching longingly for the heavens.

She loves a God in the subtle brush of their lips, their muffled voices behind closed doors as they indulge in curiosity untamed. She is a sinner through and through, but she feels herself fall further with every brush of her hand across their cheeks, every touch she bestows upon them like a lover. She memorizes the imperfections of their body like memorizing a map– every scar, every mark, every line drawn on their body like a canvas, her touch the brush that stains the pristine white.

No devoted lamb shall ever see the painting they create in these stolen moments– it is for the eyes of a heretic so vile it makes them shudder, their body dirtied by the love of a woman so vile even their divinity is obscured by the ice.

The lambs may be satisfied with fleeting glimpses of gold and empty words from lips that guide them to the jaws of the wolves, but she is not. Her hands crave them like a starving hound, aching to touch that imperfect skin hidden by the veil of gold that obscures the painfully human body beneath. She longs to free them from the golden cage that binds them– to see their wings blot out the sky, their divinity tainted by sin and making them all the more beautiful for it.

It is a longing that leaves a festering wound that cannot heal, will not heal. Even if it could, she would not let it.

For as much as she tries, deny it as she may, she is no better then the blind lambs following the herder who holds a blade in their hand, glittering like gold in the sun, stained by dull red.

She is a fool, and what a fool they make of her with the touch of their hands against her skin– so cold it leaves frost on their fingertips. Yet they do not fear the cold, mapping out every inch of her imperfections, carved into her body by her own hands.

She has always been a heretic, cursing the divine until she could speak no more, but if divinity can be found in them – in this love that consumes, that burns her hands and her lips – then she is a Saint, praying at the altar until her throat bled.

But in the end, she has and will always be a cold woman with hands stained with blood. Until it is all she can taste, until it is all she can smell, until it is all she can feel. These hands of hers, heretical and divine, will bleed the God from their veins– she will become the wolf to their lamb until the rivers of Teyvat run gold with their ichor, until the gold bleeds into red, the taste of their divinity on her tongue.

Until she drags a God from their lofty throne and makes of them a monster.

There is no greater triumph to the heretic then to love a God into sin. To make a God sin to love.

To love is to be human, and they are no God.

Even if she must tear the gold from their very being until all that's left is something human. Even if Teyvat crumbles and decays, even if it begins over and over again..

She will do it again and again, until the gold can bleed no longer. Until her sins grow too great for Teyvat to contain.

To love a God is to devour, and be devoured. An endless cycle of sin that dulls the glow of gold into something new– something horrifying and divine, in it's own right. Something just as horrid as her, just as divinely corrupted by the sins she carries on her shoulders like a trophy, as gold as the sun and as cold as ice.

Divinity, carved into something human by love all consuming, until it all bleeds away and they begin their dance anew, for as many cycles as it takes.

An eternity, if she must, of dooming this world of theirs to fire and decay for a glimpse of the being snared by their golden shackles.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #genshin cult au #genshin impact cult au #fic tag #tsaritsa #tsaritsa x reader #rip 2 anyone who expected like. a normal fic lol. lmao. #im very normal abt the tsaritsa and love its so tasty #i left it very up to interpretation what like. actually happens but. yknow. #i just think tsaritsa being the god of love and not knowing how 2 love without being weird abt it is fun #also wanted to dig into the concept of reader being fundamentally changed by being the creator besides gold blood yknow #but the tsaritsa Knows its changed you and she hates it. she hates it but how does one destroy what is divine? #how do you destroy the very thing that has created you in its hands so cruel and kind? #ive really gone off the deep end huh #this is a warning 2 the normal ppl u might as well leave now. lol #lowkey going for her actually straight up eating u but decided that was too weird for my first fic in a while. had 2 tone it down #i also wanted to add a bit of a concept of the constant resets teyvat goes through and how it plays into the themes #the tsaritsa constantly stuck in a cycle of getting rid of your divinity to be with you as you actually are but teyvat “dies” shortly after #bc obvs ur not the creator afterward so it just croaks and then it all resets again and again #but its the tsaritsa we r talking abt do u think that stops her. NO #obvs still up 2 interpretation go wild this was just what i intended #can u tell i have a lot of feelings abt tsaritsa and concepts of love from her pov. haha. I PROMISE IM NORMAL #i am mentally well why do u ask #what warnings do i add here. dont open this fic ive lost it maybe. yeah #covid rewiring my brain or smth idk man

[anto-pops]

hi☺️ how are you?🫶🏻 I recently got an idea for a fic (I used to write but i’m honestly not satisfied with my works yet so i never posted anything) andd I was wondering if you have any tips maybe? Because I can’t stress enough how talented you are! (if you ever write a book pls let me know!!!) and i’d really appreciate some tips if you were willing to give me some🫶🏻 My ideas usually come in my mind visually, like i’m watching a film, and I struggle finding the right words to express what’s in my head and I’m not sure how to fix that😕 in my head it’s so intense and full of emotion and alive but when i’m writing… it’s a disaster I think🥲 anyway thank you in advance whether you decide to give me tips or not, i know it’s a lot to ask but I adore the way you write🫶🏻☀️

AKJFHDSKF THANK YOU LOVIE !!! This is so sweet and nice of you to say, I appreciate the kind words more than you know 💕

I would absolutely love to give you tips ! I've answered a few asks like this in the past, one of which you can find here just to save time and reiterate most of what I would say.

It sounds like you've got the overall plot of your story nailed down and you know what you want to write, so the best thing I would recommend for your visualizing tactic is to make an outline that can better depict the progression of the whole thing. I totally get wanting to just control c + control v your thoughts onto a page and be done with it, but that's where being patient with yourself comes in. The outline doesn't need to be followed to the letter (mine very rarely are), but it can really help you organize the order of events you're imagining in your head.

Take your time with describing the scenes in your story that build up to that final, pinnacle moment. It might seem like you're rambling, but in my personal experience the added attention there really pays off in the end. I always follow the 'show-not-tell' guideline when I write so there's less of me telling the readers what's going on and more of me showing it. An example would be a character's body language changing when they're uncomfortable, or icy wind leeching the warmth from their cheeks. Little things like that can add life to a story vs. simply stating "He was uncomfortable" or "She was cold".

Writing isn't a linear process for most people. There's ups and downs and lengthy breaks followed by intense, week long binges of word vomit, so definitely be kind to yourself and have fun with it ! If you need anything else feel free to shoot me another ask or DM me, I would be happy to help ! Have a great day and good luck my dear 💗

#asks #I need to start tagging my writing tips cause I hate to sound like a broken record and I mostly reiterate the things that work for me #at the end of the day though everyone is different and everyone has a process that works for them #I can't stress enough how helpful creating an outline or taking notes can be though #the hand kink fic had me handwriting four pages of notes that I kept next to me while typing the whole thing #and when all else fails just remember it took five months for me to finish the damn thing so you really can't do worse than that LMAO #please come back here if you need more help anon I can cater my advice to you specifically if I glean more info about your story <3 #writing tips

[asagi-red-wolf]

ok but you KNOW Monster High did something SEVERELY right when I spent last year worried about all the changes they’d make to g3 because I love g1 so much but now all I can do is worry about all the changes they’ll make to g4 (because you know it’ll happen eventually) because I love g3 so much

#monster high #obviously g3 isn't perfect but let's be real #g1 wasn't either #I could cherry pick changes from BOTH of them #but what I AM saying is that you'll have to tear the canonical queer content and soft tone away from my FRIGID DEAD HANDS #canon clankie #nb frankie #boys promoting things like therapy and cheerleading #so much diversity!! #AUTISTIC TWYLA #mattel better pray that they can outdo themselves in several years when g4 eventually rears it's head #because if they can't #oh boy #i feel like there'll be even more protectiveness over the g3 charectors than there were over g1 #g1 has nostalgia and that's always going to play with people's hearts yes #but g3 is already creating SO MUCH nostalgia for coming generations of queer kids #AND is doing representation /so well/ when oftentimes companies like Mattel just.... don't..... #so you have adults like me who are clinging to it for dear life as well #what I'm saying is they have quite a storm of dedicated fans falling into place and I'd really hate to be the executive who announces #literally anything about g4 years out into the future because Yikes For Them

[song-tam]

also like i was going to reblog ur post abt it last night with a good old ramble but i literally don't know how to articulate any of it. being diaspora + being mixed = NO media that ever caters to how different that experience is AND how simultaneously u have both of the cultures AND that of the place u were born. like. being chinese and being told by all my khmer friends i'm a lot more chinese than khmer because of our food & social etiquette etc vs seeing chinese diaspora media and it's all... so Clean. like no mention of being lower middle class it's all going after wealth and being Chinese American. idk. it is complicated

ohhhh yeah. idk man growing up in diaspora is its own beast yknow?? i could not imagine adding being mixed on top of that like truly like the identity crisis mustve been. insane for you which like. fucking sucks :/ on some level though i get what you mean abt not feeling represented by representation bc like. idk its hard to put into words but for me a lot of the times its like. here i see a character who looks like me but i dont feel seen. if that makes sesne

#also like?? idk just on diaspora in general like growing up in diaspora vs growing up the sole member of a minority in a white neighborhood #are two very different experiences #bc like. ifl growing up in diaspora its almost. a whole other culture has been created yknow?? some kind of american but not quite smoothie #idk!!! for me its like. i love my brown friends i hate my brown friends i have never been anywhere where i have not had brown friends #and its to the point where i have almost exclusively brown friends where i met as well be in fucking india except im not. just. idk #like the effect its had!!! and like its not sunshine and rainbows i think on one hand its like wow im so happy to have commmunity #on the other hand. this community sometimes sort of fucking sucks. and ill never regret growing up this way but specific things. yeah #idk!!!!! im kinda just rambling sorry just the experience?? ykwim #ink !! #asks

[theirloveisgross]

.

#random thoughts on a monday afternoon #I'm glad I decided I'm gonna give less of my money to the azoffs (I say less because I guess I'll still stream the music) #So I'm not stressing about spending money on vinyls or cd's (which makes me sad but a genocide makes me even sadder) #Maybe I'll get them second hand months later or something... Just like. Not create that demand. I'll see when the time comes. #And as for tour... Ooof. Same thing. I'll miss seeing him live but I just cannot in good conscience spend money that #I know a good chunk of is going to Zionists who hate Palestinians #Maaaaaaaaaaaybe if someone happens to be unable to go to a show near me and giving the ticket away #Or selling it cheaper #Idk... I'll cross that bridge when i get to it #will it make a difference? lmao. no. but it's like other things in my life... my vegan choices... my zero-waste choices... #it's individual but I feel good with my decisions I think #*shrug*

[your-fave-is-bi]

i love how knitting patterns have super detailed and exact instructions on what to use etc etc and every time i look at one im like. what if i....didn't exactly do that? and just kinda fucked with your instructions a bit hm?

#personal tag #i know thats the joy of creating etc #everything is guidelines. there's no rules. i can do whatever i want #i just also need to be okay with things not turning out how i'd want them then lmao #anyway i have set my eyes on THREE new projects #two cardigans; one for me n one for my sister #and then i might also try my hand. at SOCKS #sister is paying me for my time i will put into making her cardigan by getting me yarn for me #and i got this super soft one that i see people use a lot for crocheting plushies #but i dont understand crochet. maybe i can give it a try with this yarn again since its not like. a bunch of strands together #its like one string so that might make crocheting easier to understand #ANYWAY. cardigans and socks. moving up into the world #im also repairing my relationship to this first cardigan i made #she's not perfect but nobody is. i still hate the huge sleeve on one side but i refuse to take it apart to make a smaller one like the othe #so i just gotta live with it #she's warm and big and i poured a lot of hours into it and she does look cute! #anyway knitting. i like it. have begun a little knitting journal to keep track of my comments on patterns #organized every free pattern ive downloaded on a whim too #👍

[lorawant2sleep]

wha

#art #traditional art #sketch #artists on tumblr #drawing #sketchbook #vent art #i hate car seat headrest #vent art drawn after midnight to csh songs in my head is the best thing my hands have created #lorochkinart

[tswwwit]

Now that Bill vs Bill is over, I am left in that horrible void in between the end of one project and the start of the other. I mean, I have Raised Spirits and Confessing It to get to! But like. Effort.

There's also a sort of epilogue to Bill vs Bill I was thinking of writing but who knows if I'll get to it!

I'll pick one eventually! I'm just indecisive. Once more into the Writing Mines with me.

#Oh and I guess there's the Summer Smut I alluded to #But I don't have a solid premise for that one #Ah the ennui of the uncertainty of projects #I'll start up again probably tonight knowing me #I'm just waffling on what it'll be #Gonna probably slap Bill vs Bill up on AO3 while I'm working on whatever I end up working on #Some helpful anon sent in some prospective titles but I will still take some time to decide #If there's anything I hate about writing it's titling things #And action scenes #Definitely those #I know many people were expecting the finale to be a beatdown #but you all underestimated Just How Far I will go to Not Write Action Scenes #If anyone's interested in a breakdown of how I constructed it I could write that up #But then again that's just me asking for another reason to procrastinate #The part of my brain that demands output is already handing me the writing pickaxe #Time To Create

[andthebeanstalk]

Yo the writing in this movie is weak as shit

Like, the animation looks good and there are some fun segments, but why is the writing so fucking WEAK???

This is fuckin' embarrassing.

41 years since Miyazaki's Castle of Cagliostro established Lupin could be likeable, and you have somehow made a movie in which Lupin threatens a girl with sexual assault and then also there is a sympathetic Nazi character?????

And! AND! what is this shit?? What is this utter laziness??? EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THIS NOTHING-ASS PLAIN WHITE BREAD CHARACTER DESIGN IS NOT JUST ANNA FROM FROZEN??? EXPLAIN IT TO ME.

And she's next to the Lupin characters, who are so dynamic and alive! She looks like an unfinished 3D model base this is nothing.

And, more importantly, will someone please explain to me why this horrendously-written character is present for the climax instead of anyone in the Lupin gang???

Like, let me be absolutely fucking clear: All this girl actually does in the movie is nearly cause a second Holocaust. Literally, her actions are the thing that allows the Third Reich to nearly regain power. That is the only thing she actually succeeds in. She fails at every other thing she tries to do!

And I don't care that she feels bad about it! I don't care that she did it accidentally! The fact is, this is literally the only impact the writers gave her in the story! The only explicitly Jewish character that survives the movie! They just! Didn't catch the optics on that, I guess! They don't give her something heroic to do later in the film that has any tangible weight to it, either! The old Nazi character does that! They just plum forgot about Laetitia I guess! Too bad she takes up 60% of the screentime in this film!

I mean, this movie starts with a Nazi shooting a Jewish man in the head, and then that Nazi raises that man's granddaughter as his own in order to trick her into doing Nazi shit for him. In the first scene he interacts with her in a parental capacity, it is clear that she fears being beaten by his metal cane. That Nazi then goes on to be framed in a sympathetic and undeniably warm light by the film. He actually does more for the good guys than Laetitia does! His death is given way more weight than the Jewish character he kills at the beginning.

Gods, this is shit. This is so fucking disrespectful.

I mean, if Laetitia was a golden retriever, the plot would have changed literally not at all.

In fact, it would have absolutely been an improvement because then her actions, characterization, and relationships with the other characters would have made sense. She would have been way more likeable too!

GENTLEMEN, If your female character could easily be replaced by a lamp, a prized possession, or a Pomeranian, then you have fucked up.

"Arf! Arf arf! Grrrrrr!!!", "MANGY DOG!!"

And Laetitia is, no mistaking, the main character of this film. THIS film. You know? The film called Lupin that is supposed to be about Lupin except it's actually about the world's most generic girl reacting to Lupin??

And all this focus on Laetitia comes at the expense of time with the Lupin gang!

Fujiko has like 4 lines!

Goemon has like, 6!

No one in this movie has a character arc, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE LITERAL ABUSIVE-PARENT NAZI CHARACTER.

OOPSY DAISY.

Anyway, the main value of this movie is that Jigen is so so so so hot. But damn. I do think he could've still been hot in a non-shitty film. 🤔🤔🤔

#lupin iii #lupin #original #lupin the third the first #lupin iii the first #hey! why does this suck so bad??? #it is so easy to make Lupin likable just don't have him threaten to rape anyone it's just so easy #Mr Miyazaki managed to create a non-misogynistic Lupin in 1979!!! we have the technology! this movie came out in 2020! there's no excuse! #I guess she helps them get past those three trials when they're going to get the super weapon #but all that actually ends up doing is allowing the Nazis to take the super weapons so??? #there's no reason one of the gang couldn't read ancient languages or pull out a translation dictionary. she didn't need to be there. #someone please tell me there's other good lupin iii content because Jesus Christ #my girlfriend pointed out that it seems as though the writers were trying to do a doctor who kind of thing #like what is it like to be a character that is helped by lupin and his gang? #the thing is you do still need a fucking character #archeology is not a character trait. you have to write your female characters with more than an inch of depth. fuck OFF #i hate this fucking character so much #and it is fully the fault of the writers. presumably men. if women wrote this movie i have no fucking idea what their problem was #there's a point where fujiko leaves Lupin in the hands of the bad guys. which would be pretty standard except they are literal nazis!!! #also fujiko definitely does do work for the Nazis. like it seems maybe she's trying to rip them off but it's not clear! #that should be clear!!! #also lupin is like 'you and i do what we do bc it's in our DNA! We can't help it!' and like. hm. #I mean that's weak on a good day but if your villains are Nazis it becomes a weird time to validate the concept of biological determinism

[outeremissary]

💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

(this got terribly ramble-y. apologies.)

Ah, this is difficult. Putting self-deprecation aside, I've accomplished a lot in the past year that's been significant improvement for me in terms of visual art. I guess that I really like the Valentine's art? Which is good since due to a series of mishaps it wound up framed next to my desk (realized I had no safe storage for it that wouldn't smudge it to hell and back) so it would be very sad if I wound up hating it.

I really loved the Crystalhue art I never finished as well. The sketch was really cute and it had the most complex composition of any large scene I'd done at the time (and probably since).

And it's silly, but I did really enjoy the letter I wrote back to you. I always struggle with Balthazar's voice. It was a helpful exercise even if it turned out messy. I'm sorry for not continuing the chain better. But thank you for the opportunity despite my unsociability. Lately I've been doing other art that I really liked too, so I'm surrounded by cute expressions right now. There's a beautiful smile to my left and some terrible (affectionate) smirks to right. Hopefully I can finish things in a reasonable time this week to share :) It's been a long while since I last did sequential art, so I'm always excited even when it's simple.

Ah, and recently there was a lot of really good art with Vio (@mountainashfae's character, as always), so that's lovely. This was messy (and color made it messier) but I still like it because 1) it's cute and 2) I challenged myself a lot to try things I always wanted to draw but avoided because I just thought I couldn't do them well. Well, the omnipresent mistake hiding eraser speaks to the imperfection, but I'm still happy.

I'm seldom satisfied with what I make, but I try to see it as a good thing. I'm always growing, perhaps. My therapist thinks it's like living with a curse though. ^^;;

#now everyone prayer circle that I can finish writing without hating it I want what happened to my art to happen to my writing #digging up the crystalhue sketches I scrolled past a lot of other art on my phone I really like #the portraits I spent silly time trying to learn to do the frames for and fun art of other people's characters and tristian covered in bloo #the balthazar portrait I made because I was scared I didn't have enough to show answering a tag meme #but then really liked a lot. I put so much love into that and the carmen match #silly little nonbinary flag tristian #messy marker tests and attempts at kissing #and I guess maybe it hasn't been such a bad year to create in after all. even if I'm serious about the writing thing. #I always feel bad about what I make but slowly I'm developing skills. I have a steadier hand and better eye for shapes than I used to. #there's better motion even if my work still isn't clean and there's color even if it's a mess #sometimes I have this strange realization that it might be possible to consider me an artist #and I'm never sure how to process that #ask me emithing #silversiren1101 #emi art #I guess? since there is technically new stuff

[persephonaae]

This is more of a weird format of a vent post than anything, but I'm rarely home alone enough to sing so today I just sang what was on the mind, which is the ending song from Animated Tales of the World, that a user named lauryuchiha created extended lyrics to on youtube, to which I edited slightly as well as put new lyrics to the last chorus because changing them just had more personal meaning to me. But yea. The homeric hymn to Demeter has been very on the mind lately, and it's always a very genuine place I draw emotion from when I'm doing creative things. It's not necessarily good bc I haven't really sung in a bit but it's more coming from a place of how I'm feeling right now than anything and more posting to put that emotion somewhere rather than for some kind of specific audience

#my hands feel very dirty with emotion #i want to create more things from this emotion but i worry about having to keep them secret in case my mother doesnt take well to them #it's not that i do not love her or hold any hate it's just that constantly having to be a daughter is getting to be a little too much #i need breaks from being one thing for too long i need more cycles #me doing music

[shirkers2018dirsanditan]

my problem is not that i have FOMO at all. my problem is FORI which is is fear of regretting it. i missed out on most things i would have liked to experience at this point in my life and because of that i crave the ability to catch up and feel normal, but so often that has been disappointing and unfulfilling and during and after i feel a profound regret for having done it at all :/

#on the one hand….it’s been important for me to avoid unnecessary unhappiness and long lasting humiliation #and in general it is about quality of experience i guess #but more importantly on the other hand this has created an overwhelmingly negative and self defeating outlook that also makes things worse #but the fact is that i have been overwhelmingly right about these things #rarely do i ever regret not doing something. every single day of my life i regret something i have done #you can’t get what you don’t put out but i am literally never getting much back at all #all of it is on me ultimately which fucking blows #but then i don’t want to fall into a self hate spiral! #help i’m stuck!

[m0e-ru]

just watched chaircar adventure. again. biggest smile on my face for seven minutes straight until my cheeks started hurting too much I had to stop and massage it physically. would say a million things about it. me when I'm full of love.

#kommento #// I love masamisan so much I need to kill tohruadachi right now. these statements can coexist btw #// flashes the rest of the vl duology in my head at 7x speed so I can feel everything else at once oh my godd whathe fuck giuys #// I hate gay people oh my god nobody should put me in that theater I would make ten thousand standing ovations and cheer raceously #// I love stageplay so much I started crying when I heard the music no joke man guy who cries to gay manzai skit #// this is the part where I watch it eleven times and nitpick the acting and breathing and character and actor chemistry and cry again #// I miss my gas station so much guys you don't understand <- still crhing #// I need to be a mangaka making promotional material for their manga while it gets adapted into anime and breathe keyart like #// everyday like my life depends on it.cafe collab in my head cmonguys wear the apron put on the fucking cat ears already LET'S GO LET'S GO #// I need to draw ambiguous ink art of people hugging and make every fan in the vicinity doubt the on-going currently releasing plot #// 'are they going to die. are they going to kiss.' I don't know either guys. put this in a daily account without context and a broken link #// you thought this was only about blorbo. im a fucking expert at MACRO thinking bro. #// now imagine if i was the english localization casting director. imagine if I was the merch supervisor. the REAL alternate universes #// I wish I loved media so much I could create with careless abandon again. I have been missing things for months when they're RIGHT THERE #// but they are so distant at the same time. someone hold my hand and watch chair car adventure with me in the same room please. one day.