#i hate when people do that in fandom drama its weird | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dilfhos · 7 months

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sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.

i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).

but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.

firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)

not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)

but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)

so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!

but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.

but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)

but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.

yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)

you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)

also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.

or doing less to achieve the same result.

not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.

at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.

Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!

you’re getting fucked after all!!

because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.

“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.

i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵

God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.

and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.

i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!

the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?

unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.

but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.

so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.

POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.

so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)

it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.

lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )

its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.

TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )

#writers #writers of tumblr #WATCH EVERYONE SKIP OVER THIS DHDHDJDN #OH OH OH #and im black #LMAO THATS THE PUNCHLINE #so #all of this isnt only happening in a general writing fandom #but the little corner for my black people??#and in the corners of other minorities #IT HAPPENS HERE TOO DHGSGJG #nb is safe🙅🏾‍♀️#i thought we were escaping exclusivity?#and assumptions made about other people??#trust when i say this is NOT about anyone specific #just silly little observations #and pieces of my experiences #so any complaints #SHOVE IT SHOVE IT SHOVE IT!#will delete if this starts a revolt #or not bc i love chaos in the name of truth #i hope yall can feel the sarcasm this is kinda longer than i intended but i wanted to be as thorough as possible in my point #been working on this for a min #im not tagging as discourse bc this isn’t what this is #and if you treat is as such imma just assume you’re exactly who im talking about and keep it pushing🤷🏾‍♀️#just be better is all im saying #BYE I JUST CAUGHT SO MANY MISTAKES #the shame #i was caught up #but yall get it

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yuikomorii · 6 months

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hii i just wanted to say that you rlly changed my mind about ayato,at first i didnt really care about him (probably bc his drama cds are kinda always the same? idk how to explain and the beginning of his routes are kinda weird) but looking your blog i decided to give another shot and well.. i see his value now 😭😭 he became one my favs and its bc of you

// Haha, I’m glad to hear that uwu. I honestly get you though, I’m not very fond of Ayato’s CD dramas either but it seems the Japanese audience really enjoys those.

As for his routes, I have never really judged the beginning of them but if you think about this, they are unexpectedly complicated and hide a bunch of important stuff. HDB and MB felt weird at first but after finding out how he got unfairly cursed and the way everyone in his family treated him, they started making just so much sense in terms of his behavior?? I guess Ayato is probably one of those characters whose own routes aren't sufficient to learn about him and his background; you need to dig further to properly comprehend him.

Unfortunately, some people from the Western Fandom have negative opinions of him because of inaccurate portrayals. Although I don't really hold any of them responsible for falling into that trap, I do wish that they would give such characters a chance in order to establish their own opinions on them. As far as I can tell, a lot of DL "fans" seem to hold Ayato to this unattainable standard. They don't mind other Diaboys performing the bare minimum, but they want Ayato to constantly be there for Yui in every route, even when he is harmed or doesn't have anything to do with the Diaboy she chose there. Everyone overlooks it when the other Diaboys are nasty to Yui, but as soon as Ayato does the same, people will only remember him for that, regardless of the fact that he did more noble things than any of his brothers.

Such double standards are not a thing in the Japanese DL and otoge community, hence he’s considered the golden boy of the franchise (here are some of their opinions).

I have absolutely never seen someone who doesn’t respect Ayato… I mean, he got flaws too but his positive personality traits are indeed the most desirable, so I don’t get how anyone could hate him, especially after playing his DF route, which is viewed as the masterpiece of DL.

#admin

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i-bring-crack · 10 months

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What are your opinions on solo leveling ships?

I dont mind the ships that are weird or out of nowhere, honestly I like to ship it too, I have limits on what kinds of ships I like, yes, but I just dont interact with them instead of disliking it(worse things have appeared in larger fandoms so im just null to it and prefer leaving it alone) .

It's Solo Leveling and it's no1 pairing is literally a crossover ship so its not like anyone is inmune to crack ships or non canon realted ships :) /

So far these are all the ships I have in my backpack or weird mind, also yes im making up the shipnames as I go uwu/ :

CANON

Gamers/AhYoo (Sung Jin-Ah x Yoo Jin-Ho)

Cute

Absolutely out of nowhere. Like there wasnt even a sparing glance of this ship whatsoever and then BAM epilogue says the are dating. Confusing as hell in canon. In fandom its quite nice the ideas that pop up so— but at the same time SL is known for its out of nowhere things. (Kinda. I did think there would have been some points in Jin-Ahs life and Jin-Hos were thry could know about each other. Jin-Ho knew the phone number of the house, where he lived, Jin-Ah probably wasnt unaware completely anout Jin-Ho. Its obvious that Jin-Woo post rewind would have introduced him to the family.)

I love the idea that Jin Ah is a pro-gamer (she might have become one in the next life now that she isnt studying to be a doctor for her mom. It was always referenced just how much she loved games, and its also really cute knkwing that Jin-Ho created his own gaming company :3 so like

Headcanoning that she would always help him beta test the games and since she was well aware of what kind of games were popular, it would be cool to see her being a major help in Ahjin corp's success.

Maybe they met through games too, would be a cute AU

But yeah I dont think there is much to say with the ship mainly being wholesome and pure. I do like those kinds of sships when it comes to slice of life but in action i need more drama spiked up to an 11.

JinHae [the name was from @soulintheskies ](Cha Hae-In x Sung Jin-Woo)

Wholesome

Again its not that bad of a match, a lot of people say its forced and i do agree to some extent, but then again its not a bad match, at least not fanon-wise.

Canon just always tries to pair people up with what seems to be the mantra of "perfect couple that will never fight each other so you totally dont have to worry about them breaking up" or in the more special of canon cases its "pair the hottest girl to the main character and it works! she is just a trophy wife after all :D" and JinHae does fall under that I wont lie.

And honestly, Its fine.

From SL Ragnarok I canactually see more of that love put into work and since it gives Hae-In character I have started to genuenly love the ship.

And thats a big deal for me bc I was at first a huge anti to this ship (Not to the point of hating others but I did constantly hate Cha HaeIn, and the way people elogated her to be the absolute best thing ever and her being the main love interest. I m chill with it now but boi was 2018-21 ship wars the worst)

That is until I geniuely started looking up at the content for her and reading the novel, and all I can say is

Yeah the author is a simp.

But Hae-In's character, for me, had fallen too much due to the romance aspect. They focused on her acting as a plot device for Jin-Woo to always rescue her that theve forgotten she was a character with like feelings and stuff and not just love interest.

Like she legit had all the more power to be a far more complex character even if her character revolved around Jin-Woo.

Detective Hae-In as to why Jin-Woo smells good and suddenly uncovering the whole war between the monarchs and the Rulers before anyone else? or about the system? I tell you we were robbed.

At least she got to be there for him in rough times which im happy for Jin-Woo of all people he needs it. Just as I am happy there were also more people in Jin-Woos life apart from Hae In that knew and were there for him.

As much problems as I have with it, the AUs are still fine for me.

Bc Like, fanon gives her the ability to actually express her felings over the whole situation instead of just "welp she is the hot wife now :)"

Like Ive loved the fics that go into into her thoughts of living with such a powerful being in her house, ranging from thrill to full on slice of life.

I liked the fics were she gets to have her fights.

Ive liked the reading and writting more platonic scenes with them than i have enjoyed of quite literally every other m/f ship in other fandoms.

I love how sometimes Hae-In just accepts whetever the fuck Jin-Woo is, like she is so real for that.

The ship can also work well with a lot of different themes if the roles are just purely reversed or are kept. Like they both are also quite diverse in character and I love that about them. Heck my biggest fic brainrot IS them.

Yes I want them to keep being Malewife x Girlboss that will never change in my mind.

but then there is the height difference, the god and mortal trope, the cute x unhinge, princess x knight (Hae In is the knight do not take this from me), "will always find you", soulmates, chill x chaos, black and white, (and orange was also the contrast to purple which like ??? they fit that too??), confident x internal screams, moral support and love birds, and obviously

the uwu/\owo

and if you dont want to follow canon at all its even more fun for me!

Because we got Fem DOM-- *gets shot*

they are adorable i admit

(but chu gong for gods sake it should have been exploreddddddd. I have to stop ranting about them honestly. BUT WE WERE ROBBED)

gasp omg detective Hae-In and serial killer jinwoo

SunPark (Sung Il-Hwang x Park Kyung-Hye)

Oh they are great

10/10

No other comments they are perfect, they are my goals for real---

Im happy about them being just themselves

they show love bro, they show they care

I was fine with Ill Hwangs death and the park appeared and i broke

I was this close to calling it sleepyflame

NON CANON:

Igris x Sung jin-Woo:

Top Tier shit

Beru x Sung jin-Woo:

Till this day im still processing this:

ChulWoo (Woo Jin-Chul x Sung Jin-Woo)

Look look look I get I just said the powerbalance for JinHae might be bad, and this one would be definetly worse.

But at the same time Jin-Chul would have a chokehold on this man so I dont mind it. (dont tell me he wont when he was both a boss for JinWoo and still kept working as a chairman during the apocalypse. SLR also had a huge reason but i wont spoil it here)

Its my favorite too (altho not my top, just right with JinHae)

And because it feels right?

Like most of the complains that range in between the JinHae and Jinwoo x Johee ship wars are completely obliterated because this man fufills every card on the list.

"X isnt fit for jinwoo beuse it never met E rank JinWoo" sucks for you Jin-Chul was the first to notice him and go out of his way to keep him alive, this mans small actions that went unrecognized by I freaking know half the fandom and also the rest of the SL world literally saved the entire uiverse they are in.

"X character did nothing for JinWoo" My mans the sole reason the show even started, my mans tried to stop two S ranks from fighting, my mans did everything he could to understand JinWoo and the internal struggles he might be going through both as the chief of survaillance and then as a chair man (SL Ragnarok does not do him dirty in the list my mans FOUGHT for giving JinWoo a better life as well as the lives of everyone.)

"X is not powerful" Look the world if filled with too many S ranks, put those back, he is capable of dealing with S ranks, he is capable of defending himself, and there is literally nothing more dangerous than JinWoo so, even if its not romantic he does care about him so he will be fine :v.

"X is just there for his power " Brother he wishes S ranks didnt cause him 20x the paperwork.

Actually E rank Jin Woo taken care of by Jin-Chul is quite cute ngl. It gives me Scum villain Bingqiu vibes.

(Or maybe thats just me due to the Jinchul isekai fic on ao3 I wrote bro-)

Either way they also have a wholesome dynamic withing fandom, and with canon it was explored far better than any other relationship with Jin-Woo apart from that of his family.

its crazy how we also know SHIT about him, like JinHae again, but this one doesnt feel dependent of Jin-Woo whatsoever, hes got his life worked out before jin-Woo came into the picture, hes got his principles (somewhere more of a true neutral than morally good) and they both complement each other quite well.

I think I can also be more relaxed with this one bc its not a canon ship.

Also finding love in your 30s hits that kind of a soft spot for me, you know. And its not like it would have been an instant dating for them either, they would both seemed to be more focused on other things than themselves, like work and family. Which makes it feels so casual and calm, especially over the whole crisi that they have to face.

Coming back from a long day of work to a cup of coffee and a warm chair as you look out the window, thats the kinds of vibes i get from these two.

Then theres that other fanon idea of making Jin-Woo an all out Yandere for JinChul that im so here for.

LiuSung (Liu Zhigang x Sung Jin-Woo)

They are so insane for real.

They likely fuck all the time

Pretty hoes AND FOR WHAT

No really I do think I like this one from all the hotness that they pull.

Its literally the definition of " I Ship It because its hot men"

And I stand, good for that.

Good for them.

They embody every sexual energy in the room and I love that.

They are both such trophies

They are drama queens but they will do it just to be little shits.

FireTiguer (Choi Jong In x Baek Yoon Ho)

Tier shit again

Its canon

Its absolutely true

They are so real for existing

They are so real for Malewife Yoon Ho and Girlboss Jong In

They are so freaking perfect

Pass me the weddding documents im arranging their marriage

Girl I dont care if Yoon Ho is a daddy now he is still Jong In's boyfriend and ill stand by this until SL Ragnarok gives me an actual reason to care for the wife! (And I swear, gay or good character mother development im not taking anything else.)

But like they are so craxy for this for real

It works too freaking well

Wayyy to well (oh no wonder they gave Yoon Ho a wife! They knew! THEY KNEW —)

N1 (Thomas Andre x Sung Jin-Woo)

Oh I can smell the Himbo all the way from here.

trust me I get the vibes tho i dont usually browse it, I like another Thomas ship more, but this one still is in my mind

very wholesome too actually

that or I need to stop reading a lot of gen

Legit they will do crimes toguether and im happy for them

Legit they would fight and then go on with their day and thats probably their comunication now that I think about it.

Thomas i s just one big puppy for his black cat and im like, hell yeah that shits great.

LiuAndre/KamishBros (Thomas Andre x Liu Zhigang)

(They were in fact, gay)

JinLee (Sung Jin-Woo x Lee Ju-Hee)

Oh so calm.

But at the same time *slams table* NEED CHEMISTRY PLEASE

I love them. I used to watch amv vids of them, they were lifeline

It was actually my first ship because I thought it was going to be end game

It wasnt and I was pretty sad

But their platonic friendship was also something I would have loved to see

Healing toguether? yes please!

Overcoming their strenghts? Yes please!

A fairly good wholesome male and female friendship? Id give you my entire homelife please im starving for that content.

Juhee becoming the third memeber too would have been so much better, she didnt need to do anything but the friendship between Jin-Ho, Ju-Hee and Jin-Woo would have been so wholesome to see legit.

Infierno (Sung Jin-Woo x Esil Radir)

Putting that tag name because of the Infierno tiktok with jinwoo and Esil and since there its been stuck in my mind

Just... They are partners in crime, they will always be partners in crime fr.

These bitches kill like its second nature

Im honestly quite fascinated by this ship. It gives "i will betray everything for you" vibes.

"I will destroy the world for you" vibes too

Demon x human is a hohoho for me too

Deal with the devil, and its the cutest devil ever

It would have also been fun of JinWoo helping her integrate into society, even when he too is like, super bad at it. bro only knows dungeons.

Yoosung (Sung Jin-Woo x Yoo Jin-Ho)

I JUST WANT TO SAY. WHOEVER IS DOING THESE CHIBI FANARTS OF THEM ON TWITTER.

I FREAKING LOVE YOU.

THANK YOU.

And dude its so wholesome id be willing to give up my money for it being canon too. Again its just the cutest thing ever and I love that for them.

They are sugar and spice and everything nice

They are my cold water in the mornings.

Sugar, sugar for real.

Bad blood (Sung Jin-Woo x Goto Ryuji)

Cuz

They got bad bloo—

No actually i dont know how to put it as a ship name, sounds way too corny for these mfs, even this one.

But anyways

HOT DAMN how did they get away with making it this hot

Its legit so good im dying about it. I need to call someone to stop me from being addicted to this ship.

The shits so good mostly for the middle aged freaking dilf.

Its like- its like really good.

Gourmet shit

The way I get whipped by these too.

Huh good for them. These bitches got it all:

Rivals, benefit partners, swicharo and it will still look good, their power dynamic is even jucier than anyone in this list.

Like you cant get better than this (you can)

They got a dilf bro. Look at this man! Look at freaking sugar baby-able Jin Woo is.

Look at how the enemies to lovers through sparring for reallllll

That aside, i do find it really fun just how versatile these two can be and since Goto is mainly an antagonist he does have quite a lot of room for development that can turn into good character growth if executed perfectly. Said arcs can also be good for Jin Woo since it lets him latch on to more of his kinder or humane side, as well as having a room to talk with, favorably more expirienced adults about things he doesnt know. Like legit Jin Woo could use a lot of guides through this sudden life changing shift, not just through new and more powerful fights but a drastic economic change to his daily life and how to balance it.

There are a lot of more expirienced and stronger people out there, yes, but Goto fits in there better than Liu, Christopher or Thomas who mainly look like they are ready to fight everytjing that comes their way rather than be some sort of mentor to anyone. Whereas others like Lennart dont have much interaction with him, and by the end of Jeju JinWoo has basically outcompeted the others in Korea so he might want to look for stronger international power level type partners.

it also adds a lot of flavor for me towards Jin Woos relationships with other people since we see that he will instantly kill anyone that wrongs him, and yet there would be Goto who he is dating while constantly being degrated by the man, not in a bad way really, just nagging him about doing things the wrong way in wife mode and him learning from that.

Dilf tsundere is also good 🤌

ChaLee (Cha Hae-In x Lee Ju-Hee)

wlw wins this one

Thay would make such a cute couple

For the sake of Hae In its really hard for her to pair her with someome else due to her smell, but the ship is still cute as heck, and it wouldnt be soo bad if maybe Ruler! Ju-Hee uwu just a thought uwu

Hae in could help Ju Hee also overcome her fears of the monsters. They both would like habe a safe place withing each other

Its so sugar i swear

Diabetes

MagicTank (Lennart Niermann x Thomas Andre)

OH HELL YEAH

Bro that looks so cool you so genius for this

Bro the height and body difference

Bro the everything difference

Bro the way Lennart saved Thomas from a freaking Monarch I lobe you my baby boy have the card for character with the biggest balls in this series muak

Bro the way it would also look so cute cuz i picture Lennart always having a soft german accent that still has its serious tone to it

And then there is thomas who is anything but serious

Bro it would be so cute thinking how soft Thomas would be for Lennart meanwhile lennart is 24/7 more confused than anything about how the n1 strongest hunter suddenly laid eyes upon him, like out of nowhere.

He wasnt even in the top ten and yet Thomas just choose him???

Oh thatd be cute af

Draw sword (Goto Ryuji x Reiji Sugimoto)

Honestly it's freaking good

Like I didn't expect to gravitate into it and then I did. It was stuck in my mind ever since and this might just be from the fanfics

It also somehow seems to be far more wholesome than Goto/Jin-Woo huh.

I guess I get that found family vibe with the both of them taking care of the draw sword guild S ranks.

And that's cool I like that :v

Found family but they all a bunch of rats >>>>

MinLee (Min Byung Gyu x Lee Ju-Hee)

Mn yesss doctor x nurse ship mhm bros perfect.

I think the healing together part will actually be the cutest thing here and honestly they deserve their healing arc

They deserved so much better with everything imo

Sung Jin-Woo/Antares

....Edit: I am so sorry I accidentally clicked the post button again dammit!

More platonic than romantic:

JinYi (Han Song Yi x Sung Jin-Ah)

Cute and lovely, honestly I think this might be the only one that isn't shipped as much, but I like to do it because childhood friends is my favorite trope

Aura (Thomas Andre x Laura)

THIS

FAVORITE

FREAKING

FRIENDSHIP

EVER

Hell yeah to Laura and Thomas being thre friking best of friends.

They are just the freaking best

They have taken me away

I love this, I love the story just for this, this is like the biggest glow up due to how starve I am for any kind of man and female platonic friendship and this one is just Hella good, Hella perfect. I'm in fuking love with their friendship.

Number 1

Antares/Ashborn

EVERYONE OUT

This is the best thing ever made alright

Best thing ever

Top tier shit

A+

Will not elaborate

They are fucking soulmates

No one can take this away from me.

I crown every one who makes more of this ship

I bless you

I thank you

Bow down to you bro

And seriously this is like 100× filled with more potential for everything

EVERYTHING

They will live in my heart bitches.

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mybrainsrottingwithmcd · 4 months

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hi!! so i’m. really really new to the aphmau fandom, aka i was super into it when i was like 8 and now my autistic ass got back into and actually joined in fandom stuff

i don’t. entirely understand how to guide through the aphmau fandom on tumblr. and i have a few questions- if you wouldn’t find can you answer them for me since you seem to be super into this!

what is an MCD rewrite and where do i find them- i assumed it’s people rewriting minecraft diaries but what sparked this and why?

what’s with the hate for aaron and aarmau- i don’t. fully understand it

how did garroth/lawrence happen (i love the idea)

is there like. a masterlist of aphmau lore somewhere so i can make sure i didn’t miss anything in my rewatch (i definitely missed stuff in my rewatch)

Hello hello!! Welcome to the fandom (we’re so sorry ur here its a mess)

I’d be happy to answer ur questions :D

“what is an MCD rewrite and where do i find them- i assumed it's people rewriting minecraft diaries but what sparked this and why?”

Yeah you’re right a MCD rewrite is people rewriting MCD and adding their own ships or improvements or different plot points. It started because the original MCD is kinda written poorly. Some plot points go nowhere, some parts are problematic, some parts drag on, characters appear and disappear, characters stopped developing and most importantly MCD has no ending and was abruptly discontinued by Jess so she could focus on Mystreet and other projects. People just wanna improve and finish the thing that means so mich to them basically. You can find them on AO3 and a few on Wattpad (I recommend AO3 tho its easier to find rewrites ur interested in cuz the tag system)

“what's with the hate for aaron and aarmau- i don't. fully understand it”

(There arent enough words in this world to explain my hatred for aarmau and aaron BUT)

Many reasons heres the main few: when Aaron was introduced he was supposed to be a side character but then he became a love interest kinda outta nowhere (my theory as to why is because Jess’s husband Jason voices him) and when he did become a love interest other characters like Laurence and Garroth kinda stopped developing and became worse to justify why Aaron was a good choice for Aphmau. For me they never had any chemistry in MCD, when its revealed Aphmau is pregnant with Aaron’s kid my brain logged out because wtffff how did they find the time and also why Aaron ://. He wasn’t kinda boring, his angsty past could’ve been used more but wasn’t he was just a brooding masked figure who followed Aphmau around. Then Pheonix Drop High happened and made things really weird. So when Aaron was 18 going on 19 he started dating Aphmau who was 14. Very creepy much yuck, they didn’t communicate well and then his whole character became that he’s in love with Aphmau but “he’s just not good enough for her :((“ and “i shouldn’t be with her shes perfect” and personally i find romance dramas infuriating, especially that kind of drama. AND YES AS A 18YR OLD U SHOULDNT BE DATING A 14YR OLD WELL DONE AARON. Mystreet they were the annoying lovey dovey couple with relationship drama they just rubbed me the wrong way in that series, I stopped watching after Emerald Secret and only recently forced myself to finish Mystreet and yeah no idc about them or their relationship. In MCD season 3 when Shad was introduced as a full character his whole thing is he’s Aaron again but evil and Aphmau’s sad about it and uuuuugg i dont caaareee. And I personally thought Aphmau wasn’t gunna end with anyone in MCD because she went on multiple rants about how that isn’t what she’s looking for and she has to think about her people first and she prefers her own company and then BOOM gets pregnant of masky mcsad face. Ugh. Basically Aaron ruined everything.

(Aroacemau truther 4 life aarmau hater 4 life)

“how did garroth/lawrence happen (i love the idea)”

Garrence has been a ship since the characters were introduced and quite simply its because they have more chemistry together than with Aphmau. I’ve always been a lil uncomfortable with how Jess wrote Laurence and Aphmau’s interactions and Garroth and Aphmau’s interactions but Garroth and Laurence interactions were just more natural they had more banter they were sweet together. Then Jess did a bunch of queerbaiting with it and the ship got bigger, so many fanarts so many fanfics. Then it just never happened because Jess is a coward. Like it would’ve been so nice to see the hints and chemistry go somewhere but it didn’t. Everyone still holds hope tho. With rewrites Garrence is Canon :))

“is there like. a masterlist of aphmau lore somewhere so i can make sure i didn't miss anything in my rewatch (i definitely missed stuff in my rewatch)”

i have no idea on that one, i’ve rewatched MCD every other week for the past 8 years (autism go brrrrr) i’ve never had to look for a masterlist of lore BUT I’m sure someone has to have compiled one somewhere either on the fandom wiki or on Tumblr somewhere. :))

ANYWAYS YEAH WELCOME TO HELL HAVE FUN HERE

#WELCOME TO HELL #WAS I HELPFUL??? PROBS NOT LETS BE HONEST #im just a little guy #but yeah #from a veteran aphmau fan heres the tea #i hate aaron seriously so much #aroacemau #aphmau #mcd #minecraft diaries #minecraft roleplay #aphmau mcd #aphmau minecraft diaries #anyways

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real-total-drama-takes · 7 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/real-total-drama-takes/730285505111031808/i-hate-the-lesbian-eva-headcanon-im-fine-with

Fucking loser. this is total drama its actually entirely about sterotypes!!!! Lol! Do you have a problem with bowie? Do you have a problem with gay noah headcanons? Or do you just hate lesbians.

Also she is more than just "an angry sporty butch person" or whatever, she just doesn't have much screen time to really flesh her out as much as other characters. She has had screentime showing how sweet she can be though. She has goals outside of being sporty or whatever youre trying to argue. Shes literally just a butch woman who have historically 0 representation. Actually insane if you think that the lesbian eva hc is only stereotypes and not just fucking how some lesbians are. Especially in 2007. Some lesbians are just Fucking like that. Just like lesbians can sterotypically be any aesthetic but nooo its only offensive when its the kind of lesbian that gets ZERO FUCKING MEDIA COVERAGE. HOW IS IT STEREOTYPICAL

Also fun fact, even if she was just stereotypical, some people fit into sterotypes lol!!!! (Angriest lesbian ever speaking rn. Oh how im being so offensive right now by being stereotypically angry and a fucking hater. I hate you. Fuck you) Youre weird if you think those Real people shouldnt get representation that fits them too. Sterotypes are stereotypes for a reason. Butch sporty lesbians exist for a fucking reason.

Lesbians can have comphet too but thats in the advanced class of supporting and giving a fuck about lesbians which you clearly dgaf about LOL. Cartoon logic makes everyone fall in love with justin. And lesbians Can recognize when a man is stereotypically hot. We have eyeballs. And justin is shown to be in universe like the hottest person in the world AND a model/celebrity of sorts. Do you think gay men that are obsessed with taylor swift or lady gaga are fake gays because they "like a woman" or are you holding lesbians to a double standard answer quick

Lesbians rise eva fans rise. Band together and FUCK anyone that says its problematic to headcanon a character as something because of "sterotypes" that arent even there. I give my angry hater lesbian blessing for anyone to headcanon eva as lesbian because lesbians are awesome and deserve to be allowed in media and fandom. Live laugh love lesbians

I need to know more about you anon. Whats your deal. Are you a lesbian. Are you over the age of 14. Did you decide you were the ceo of gayness after being around 0 irl lesbians and ESPECIALLY 0 irl butches. Go outside and talk to literally any lesbian that would give a fuck (will be impossible to find because literally 0 lesbians would give two shits btw)(lesbians would be excited that anyone cared about lesbians enough to think about them)

#total drama #td Eva #fandom takes

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brookiidookiii · 4 months

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assortment of headcanons about what they're doing on social media

anne maria uses twitter where she just posts about her day to day life and gets into celebrity drama on there. like shes caught liking hate posts about other people and it becomes a thing but most people like her so she has a fanbase rallying behind her. she retweets her fans thirst edits

jo is an instagram user where she just makes workout videos and shares advice. shes tried to move on from TD but she keeps getting tagged in fanart and just blocks them

brick stays off social media because now the whole world knows his embarrassing secrets and doesnt like getting reminded of them. but i think hed use pinterest for fashion inspiration and things like that.

lightning uses instagram and twitter. he probably watches edits of himself smh.

sam is a twitch streamer. his fanbase is pretty chill and hes pretty popular. he interacts with chats and makes a living off of sponsors and superchats. his streams r fun, he plays videogames. sometimes dakota makes a cameo appearance.

yeah dawn doesnt rlly use social media :( she sells stuff on craigslist but thats the most she'll do. maybe she collabs with charity organizations but only on their accounts. she doesnt have her own. i think she'd be anti social media

zoey has a tumblr blog.... just posting indie aesthetic stuff. people send her asks about the show and she happily answers. she likes interacting with people. she has a few fandom sideblogs too lol

now when zoey is older and a 30 year old millennial she has a tiktok and SHES SO CRINGEY AND WEIRD AND EMBARRASSING (i mean that in the most affectionate loving way possible). shes the worst millennial imaginable. shes the 30 year old pick me. i hate her (affectionate). shes like that woman who made the "and my mom thank you to my mom 😝" sound. i love her for that

mike isnt much of a social media guy. the most he do is mental health awareness stuff and interviews about his life with DID

i really dont know about cameron honestly???? i think in the future he gets rlly buff so when the cast reunites his voice hasnt dropped at all and his head is still the same size but hes 9 feet tall and giant and rlly buff. its scary. maybe he does workout progress stuff.

actually cam and zoey r mutuals on tumblr. idk why he has a blog

B works in IT and computer stuff. maybe he doxes people on twitter. he probably uses reddit

#total drama #total drama revenge of the island #these probably arent too accurate but theyve been on my mind

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theoddest1 · 1 month

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the "viv is like j*k*r" anon again!

i actually didn't have anyone *particular* in mind when i spoke about the weirdness of some people being left alone while there's tons of evidence and that there's people who got/get cancelled for the smallest stuff- just the "scenario" in itself. there's just some people wanting to cause drama and they dig stuff up that isn't even necessarily "bad", just questionable maybe. i mean i was an edgy ass "creepypasta teen" so i know first hand what's its like saying stupid sh*t and paying the price for it and learning from it- but bringing that up NOW wouldn't even achieve anything since a) i never said anything hateful, b) i was a child, c) i learned from it and grew as a person and c) what relevance does it have now? i doesn't affect anyone and i know better now than to do it again. but some people would still insist it's important- those types of people/scenarios are what i was talking about- if that makes sense!

Makes complete sense! In fact, it's these sort of callouts that aided in making actual worrisome and bad things found on Viv virtually unknown. I see people bring up the snake bath art Viv made more than her literally bullying and calling a 15 year old nasty for being critical of her work, or her being happy that Dollcreep attempted to take his life, or her openly being happy that her fanbase was harassing someone over a meme, or her uplifting, liking, and following problematic people who make the fandom worse.

But damn, that snake bath art bro, that's where I draw then line/j

Look I get it, that snake bath art is very weird, especially with the fact that Addi would be drawn in more than one sexual scenario with snakes or not, but to make this one of the main things to call Viv out for is wiiild. There's also the pedo character situation. I get it....she's a pedo, and the tag Viv made underneath that photo was weird af, but I have seen people say that her making a character a pedo PERIOD makes HER a pedo which...no. if she would place Mirage in a good light and make it where it's good, that's when I'll agree since placing pedophilia as some good thing and not something gross is batshit, but if they're meant to be a villain and seen as horrible that doesn't automatically make you a pedophile. It just means you made an irredeemable villain. However, her way of treating Mirage was pretty similar to how she treated Valentino sometimes, just more with her personality rather than her horrendous disgusting behavior and gross attraction.

In any case, claims like these are WHY people are even MORE apprehensive against callouts for Viv and muddied the waters, ultimately setting back MANY victims under Viv's name. It's why I HATE these sorts of posts on her. It does more harm than good and makes any victims trying to say their peace look like clout chasers, liars, and have people see them as jealous. Though, of course, people shouldn't shut out valid evidence and criticism all cause some flimsy callout came out, but this is like "the boy who cried wolf." Scream too many times, only for it to be nothing will make it harder for people to take you seriously when something serious actually happened.

#anon ask #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #viv get a grip #vivziepop #vivienne medrano

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cryinginthefkncorner · 7 days

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Look, i know I’m about to kick a wasps nest, but I need to say it.

I don’t really care for fandom shipping discourse, I don’t take Sides religiously as both have good points, and ultimately I’m just anti-censorship…

…but that doesn’t mean I think the pro side is all right and the anti side is all wrong

Both sides harass the shit out of each other, both sides extremists are bad and need to go touch grass

But y’all also need nuance in these discussions your having

Because let me tell you, as someone who was groomed by multiple predators (one would go on to abuse me Irl for 7 years of my life btw, starting when I was a tween) because of fandom, the pro side of the debate has made it quite clear that they don’t actually care to understand the ramifications of the type of abuse I went through, or to actually listen to survivors of CSA who’s abuse occurred through fandom.

The pro side will be quick to point fingers at adults of kids in fandom, but the adults in charge of me were told by therapists I was seeing at the time that I was “being a normal tween” for believing I wanted to be in a relationship with an adult at 13/14. That I was “over dramatic and should be responsible for what happened” at the hands of this adult when I disclosed the first time about the abuse. I also got in trouble for the evidence of the grooming that was found by my parents, instead of them realizing I was being targeted by a creep.

Part of this was because I was a lonely, bullied, and ostracized kid.

It’s almost like sexual predators bank on adults failing to act and blaming young girls for the abuse. It’s almost like they’re right when they tell young girls that no one will believe them when they disclose. The pro side proves this too by how they justify their romanticization by pointing fingers at parents “not parenting kids” as if they can never do anything wrong, or miss the signs.

My parents missed the signs because they assumed a teenager (who was 17-18 when he started abusing 13 year old me) could not be a pedophile. They were happy their daughter “had finally found someone to talk to” because my own peers hated me and bullied me every chance they got at that age. To the point where I was actively suicidal for years.

All of this grooming happened because I dared to interact with the MLP fandom at 13. And trust me that fandom was filled with pedos at the peak of its popularity. Like I said multiple full grown men groomed and RPG’d in a sexual way with me, even after I disclosed my age. Because I dared to like pastel colored pony’s and I wrote some (PG-13) fanfic, and drew some fanart.

And trust me, I saw the romanticization of my own abuse in that fandom, and seeing it being defended still is disconcerting.

Like, an actual survivor saying “hey, please don’t portray the abuse that ruined my fucking life as a good thing please” shouldn’t make y’all so fucking mad. But it does. And it’s fucking weird.

I’m not going to name call or anything, won’t even tell you what you can or can’t post but just know I’m one of those people where if you are posting that crap and I stumble upon it, or are vocally defending your right to romanticize it, that I’m silently judging you.

And I’m just going to block you if you try to defend it on this post.

I’d say that if you want to avoid drama maybe just get a fucking sensitivity reader if your discussing CSA, and aren’t trying to romanticize it. But apparently sensitivity readers are just “enforcing censorship” or whatever so I know I’m just talking to the equivalent of a brick wall.

Before you bring up not reading this stuff- I don’t, I’m just kinda sick of a real problem in fandom being dismissed and victims being blamed for their abuse

Before you bring up Lolita as a “gotcha” defense- I have reading comprehension abilities, evidenced by how I have a minor in creative writing (which btw involves a metric fuck-ton of reading and discerning meaning and intentions of the author from those readings) Lolita was not defending predators, it’s meaning was twisted by people who want to defend grooming and csa, and since I can tell the difference between condemnation and romanticization, I’m sure a lot of people who share my opinions also can as well. Not everyone with “anti” opinions is uneducated like you think they are, some of us are just expressing why we have limits and why we find certain portrayal distasteful. If you think I’m still wrong i reccomend going back and reading the prologue in Lolita that you obviously skipped.

Before you say I’m advocating for censorship- I’m not, I’m just saying you don’t get to shout at abuse victims who were affected through fandom to shut up. Write insensitive portrayals of traumatizing shit, and then get upset when someone tells you your portrayal is making the traumatizing shit look like it’s a-okay. If you post something on this vein be prepared for someone to say that what you wrote is portraying harmful stereotypes (ie that CSA isn’t harmful if an often repeated myth, it’s akin to saying rape victims were “asking for it” because they were drunk).

Also I’ve never harassed anyone about this in my life, in fact the people who defend romanticization of my abuse are usually just blocked on site, because I just don’t want to deal with the shit-stirring that occurs.

And finally for those who think this is me being against harm reduction- I’m not against harm reduction, maybe these thing are harm reduction for awhile, but eventually, just like alcohol or painkillers, these little fanfic stories aren’t going to be enough for would-be predators forever. They will build up a tolerance where imagination and text isn’t enough anymore, and that’s when they start to actually do the real illegal shit.

If you have reading comprehension you’ll realize I’m am not saying fiction=reality, but to spell it out more clearly, the fiction isn’t making them offend, the inability for the fiction to be enough to get them off is what leads them to offend. It’s like someone who can’t get oxy turning to heroin out of desperation.

When the harm reduction doesn’t work anymore, is it really reducing harm, especially when the stuff they now turn to is the illegal stuff they were supposedly trying to “avoid” in the first place.

Anyway, that’s my thoughts on this shit, I’m tired of seeing it debated or people with the same trauma being told to shut up because the truth is inconvenient. I needed to just get it out.

Anyone who openly defends this crap in the notes or reblogs will be blocked.

#rant post #personal #anti proship #anti radqueer #anti prat #anti map #tw csa mention #tw rap3 #tw rape mention #tw grooming

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theold-ultraviolence · 10 months

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Hey besties! I debated whether or not I should make a post about it cause I don't want to seem dramatic lfjlskgsjdg, but I figured a lot of people follow me for my writing, and well, there hasn't been any writing going on lately (lol) and I don't even know if there will be, at least for a long while. I think I just might go into a little bit of a hiatus there because, I don't feel like writing anymore for a number of reasons, mostly because this year has been incredibly tough for me and my brain is absolutely mush. I want to write, but I can't physically bring myself to do it, even if the will is there and the ideas are overflowing. I'll still be here and everything (I have never made a side blog, all my silliness goes into one same place lmao), and if questions about my aus come up and stuff, I'll love to reply to those and brainstorm/fangirl about ideas together, but I can't say the same about actually posting fully formed stories.

Another thing is that I'm kinda burned out from fandom. Life is hard as it is and while fandom in general is amazing there are just parts of that suck, even from a distance. The discourse, the cliquey-ness, the hate people are receiving, the drop in interaction... I've always been cruising through different fandoms and avoid drama because I'm always in my little corner, but even while keeping to my corner, this is the first time that without even engaging in it, its found me? An interaction I had some months ago with someone just left a really bad taste and a weird feeling about posting stuff and not knowing with whom I could talk to, so I just distanced myself from it. Which is also kind of a bummer because I don't think I even had that much of a presence in the beginning? I don't want to seem like I'm whining, but, the reality is that my name rarely ever gets brought up in rec lists/posts and such, so it's kinda daunting to think that my work may not have as much transcendence in the fandom anyway when I've been here for a long while, and it does feel a little bit like, feeling left out, which bums me out. But ultimately, worrying about being active and posting fics regularly is just, such a silly thing to worry about when there are other things happening in life anyway.

This is not to say that I'm not acknowledging the people that have supported me from the beginning and continue to do so. If you've reblogged my stuff, or contacted me via dm or ye old inbox, know I freaking love and adore and appreciate you and that's what's exactly what's given me the motivation to write when things were tougher for me this year. It truly, truly means the world to me, and I consider you a bestie. It's so freaking special to me, every single time, when you reach out to let me know you enjoyed something I posted or that you're having fun with my ocs. So this part of it all is why I wished I was more active and that I had the energy to keep writing to interact with you, but I'm just not in the headspace for it right now.

And idk I just might be feeling a bit sensitive these days and becoming a bigger hermit each day, Ewan Mitchell style (lol), but I had it in the back of my mind that there are people that follow me for my writing, and that have even requested fics after I closed them, so I wanted to give these moots a heads up. I do have a lot of ideas I was excited about, not to mention tons of wips that have been left gathering dust so maybe in the near future I can find some time to write. I'm just not feeling inspired or motivated at all these days. If you're sticking around despite my blog being a whole mish-mash of spooky things and whatever blorbo is rotting my brain at the moment, you're seriously the best and I love you for it.

#don't reblog

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suffersinfandom · 7 months

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Okay, so I usually try to stay out of discourse and drama and all of that because I'm here to have a nice time, but I saw a post in the OFMD tag after the whole Blackbonnet/Stucky poll thing that I really need to type about. It's just... so bad. Like, I totally get disliking things (I dislike things too!), and I understand that OFMD isn't everyone's thing, but wow. WOW. Um.

While the first part's annoying (point to the tumblr fandom that has absolutely no one in it with a victim complex, please), what I really take issue with is the last bit -- the assertion that OFMD's cast diversity is there to be "inclusive" and "progressive" when the narrative isn't. That's just not true? One of the reasons for OFMD's popularity IS its inclusiveness! People who have never seen themselves represented in a show finally *see themselves* in some of these characters, and I think that's lovely. And the show has a wonderfully diverse crew behind the scenes and in the writing room as well!

As for "the narrative being the opposite"... all I can do is assume that OP never bothered watching OFMD. It's the most genuinely, earnestly inclusive and progressive piece of media I've ever consumed.

The acting in OFMD isn't stylistically different from any other show I've watched. The situations and lines are often comedic, Stede and Ed are definitely prone to dramatics, and plenty of the characters are pathetic (affectionate), but this is such a weird critique. Or maybe I just haven't picked anything up from a lifetime of watching media and being a massive dorkass theater nerd? Idk. Maybe they just think the show itself is cringe (I certainly don't think it is, but that's something I've seen plenty of folks who dislike it say) and that colors their opinion on the acting?

Also: where's the slavery apologism? As many other people have said, there's definitely room for good faith criticism of OFMD: its tendency to gloss over the existence of slavery, the rom-comification of real, historic slaveowners, etc, but there's no apologia in the text of the show. (Correct me if I'm wrong! I'm very white and will defer to others here.)

I'm gonna need some sources. I've seen the various accusations, but never evidence or anything that couldn't potentially be explained with context. (I don't actually take much issue with this point -- it's not a crime to think someone's annoying -- I just don't understand the constant vilification of Taika.)

"REAL gay piracy," lol. I can't say much about Black Sails since I haven't watched it (tbh it doesn't sound like something I'd be able to enjoy), but I haven't seen that much seriousness in the OFMD fandom. Do I have all of the annoying crewmates blocked? Do y'all feel like you have a lot to prove? I personally only became invested in this poll when I saw the death threats from Stucky folks, and my impression from my timeline is that most everyone else was in the same boat.

If you ARE taking these polls to heart, please don't! They're for fun (sometimes petty) fandom drama! Win or lose, we all love our ships and our communities and we really don't need to prove anything to anyone (I say, typing out a response to a thing that got under my skin, resolutely not touching grass).

THIS is where I had to start typing. WHAT DOES IT MEAN. How is a show with multiple canon queer couples gaybaiting? Isn't "canon gaybait" an oxymoron, or has the meaning changed? (I'm old, genuinely lmk if my millennial ass is missing something.) Again, I can only assume that OP either hasn't watched OFMD or hates fun romcoms, because the gayness of it all isn't the only thing the show has to offer. My brainworms have better taste than that.

It's some of the best gay rep I've ever seen and I would be delighted to see better! I mean it! I've been in queer circles for almost two decades and in fandom even longer; OFMD is some of the best, kindest, most loving, genuine representation I've come across in that time. I truly hope that it's just the beginning of a new era in media.

"Weak fandom output." I am *drowning* in fandom output and I love that for me! "Driest gay kiss." I'm sorry you don't like awkward middle-aged men who think they're unlovable coming together in what might very well be the first loving kiss either of them has ever had, but I think it's very sweet and moving! No fictional characters have ever owned my brain like this before! I love my silly traumatized queer pirates who can't communicate to save themselves. They're very beautiful to me.

Anyway, that's enough of that. I've released the pettiness and I'm going to go back to being annoying about seeing the lads again in just a few more days. <3

#ofmd #fandom bullshit #lol don't look at this i'm embarrassed #anyway don't fight with certain people it's not worth it #they'll hate because they want to hate #love what you love and don't let anyone get you down #fight about fictional stuff if you want but don't attack people directly or straight up lie #most importantly don't fight with me i'm fragile

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cakejerry · 3 months

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asks pt.2 more recent ones

ft fanfiction anon, minho is ugly, thank you minjoon people for the links and fic recs!!! and the anon with the random jikook takes

ive been debating answering this one, like... yeah, obviously. but no jimin hate is allowed on this blog so youre getting blocked

idk, ive also been thinking about posting this but... i don't have any thoughts. except that this just proves how close they are, in any sense. and yes that was literally a joke we don't actually think their parents were involved, cmon. 'meds exist' cmon. 'suicide everyday' yeah you're a troll never message me again, goodbye.

this is why i can never take any of those charts seriously, they all say something different and everybody's #1 somewhere. its literally all imaginary and extremely unimportant. and instead of frauding jimin, which would have gotten him nothing but hate, i wish instead they'd left jungkook alone so we could see who ACTUALLY has what it takes

i have literally never understood the hype around jungkook. but maybe thats because he only started glowing up around 2019, which is when most of these taekookers came to the fandom, lol. but your last sentence was funny, 10/10

jimin should have always been the center of that triangle. vmin vs jikook i would like to see it. the classic main drama lead thats semi toxic and interesting and the second lead who's the best friend and the better option but jimin chooses jungkook anyways lol

minjoon under the stars ahhh jimin is such a sweet little glazed donut that needs to be handled with utmost care

blocked. also that's because namjoon has the charisma of a tree. but jimin could have chemistry with a brick wall so suck it. minjoon forever

cute little fanfiction moment but i dont think it holds any water in real life terms, or means anything, honestly. but thank you for the links

here come the fanfiction writers. also that's the finger heart emoji for the curious minds my laptop is prehistoric. anyways. im not gonna grace this with any further comment.

sure

this is making me ctfu because its just a clip of jungkook dancing to 3d but anon is sooo disgusted ahahhahaha. bts were different??? different from what :joy emoji:. also, if you see this, elaborate on your last sentence please.

i literally dgaf he is so ugly and his bug eyes weird me out and im convinced kpop fans have a mass gaslight thing going on trying to convince me he's attractive. 2. jonghyun wouldnt work with jimin for several reasons i just brought him up because whenever im thinking about 'men in the industry who aren't shit' he's the only one who comes up. 3. love that you just fully spiraled into waxing poetic about jimins ass there. understandble.

sure

well yeah but specifically the tweets i was posting are so... racially motivated. whitewashed jimin=white=good=pure=innocence=bottom and top jungkook=rough=tough=raw=dirty=dark skin. like it was just so weird to me.

umm sure, whatever you say anon. im gonna forget all of what you told me now because i genuinely do not want to know.

yup this is the general consensus in cakejerryland

thank you for this rec actually!!!!!!!!! it looks scrumptious and WILL be posting my thoughts upon finishing!!!

thank you random citizen!!! omg idk if you knew i have a hyung kink or not but this is sooo not that. laugh emoji laugh emoji jimin is soooo cute he's a kiddo playing around!!! babyy

i respect the grind. i do not, however, respect him.

okayy anndddd... what do you want me to do about this?

yes he wants to be perceived as such. we agreed upon this when seven dropped. and idc and it doesnt matter to me because i dont expect any of bts to come out so they will all forever be ambiguously straight and theres no point to discussing it further

fanservice is in the job description. but you said it yourself. 'natural' dynamic. they're simply the closest and we can't deny this

umm sure. i didn't see anything special in those clips at all lol i was not gagged. they were just looking at each other and they do that every single time they're in public or on camera or on stage together

lol hawaii was ... a time. they were also "doing laundry," don't forget.

#asks #anon #hey i forgot to add one about vmin and taennie but im on my phone ill add it tomorrow okay?

7 notes · View notes

rosewould · 2 years

Text

cynics; jns

part vi

masterlist

words; 7.1k

genre; angst & smut

warnings; hate comments mentioning suicide, revenge porn(?), depictions of rotting food, vomiting, sex w/ Jungwoo again, choking, rough sex, long dick!Jungwoo

preface; This took to long because I rewrote this about a dozen times and I'm glad I did. If I released that first idea I had, it would've been real bad lmao. I'm really proud of this chapter and if it flops more than usual I will experience a tragic ego death. Also first full smut scene whoo! It still feels weird putting on in this fic...

"you stupid piece of shit"

"rot in hell!"

"you should just fucking kill yourself"

"you'll pay for what you did"

Johnny couldn't focus on anything else. He tried to get more information but his phone kept buzzing. His shaky fingers turn off notifications for all the social media apps on his phone. No way those fucking idiots did this.

After getting no valuable information, Johnny opted to distract himself. No amount of video games, movies, or books could do the job. His heart never slowed. His hands wouldn't stop shaking. The words he was sent kept cutting through each thought. They have no proof it was YangYang or his friends, but a couple of streamers at the party reported seeing Naeun with YangYang, Lucas, and Johnny that night. YangYang seems to be public enemy number one since he was seen entering and exiting the bathroom by multiple witnesses. The biggest nail in the coffin being Dejun.

He was never involved in drama. When he was dragged into it, he approached the situation with objectivity and empathy. There were very few streamers unanimously loved and respected by the community. Whether it be their fandom, content, or questionable takes, there's always a caveat. Not Dejun. Everyone trusts Dejun.

"I did see her leave the bathroom with YangYang. Listen, I don't know much about the people involved. I don't want to stir up drama so carelessly like this, but there were only streamers at that party. Someone is responsible for this... disgusting deed and they should be held accountable. This could ruin Naeun's life. I don't care what you think about her or her content, this is completely unacceptable."

It was his biggest stream to date. This was one of the biggest scandals to hit the platform. This was bad. Extremely fucking bad. And it somehow got worse.

"What? What group chat?" Dejun searches google for everyone to see. Tens of thousands of people watch in awe as the shocking news is revealed. "There's a group chat for sharing female streamers' nudes?" Dejun raises his voice, face contorting in revulsion. "The source says it was started by streamers..."

That's when all hell broke loose. People had already made up their minds that YangYang took the pictures. Screenshots show the culprit confirming they were taken at the party. But now there were more culprits to be caught, and the pitchforks were out.

For once, the parasites had left Johnny's home. The one time he was afraid to be alone with his thoughts. How could they do something so reckless? So foolish? So rotten?

And Johnny associated himself with people like this. Let them in his house. Like it was instinctual, Johnny's eyes move toward the black sludge on the floor. His house was a pig sty. The smell was stomach wrenching. His flowers had all wilted. He stumbles toward his fridge, eyes watering as soon as he opens the door. He pinches his nose as he watches a hoard of flies flee from the rotting food. Unable to take it anymore, Johnny keels over, retching into a nearby garbage can. His stomach lurches as he empties its scarce contents. The smell of the garbage is no better. He can't escape the smell of rot as he heaves.

He continues to dry heave with nothing left to purge from his system. Unable to lose the overwhelming nausea.

You refresh Naeun's Twitter profile again. Her last update was the night of the party. You refresh again, unable to ignore the sinking feeling when no new tweets come up. You started following her on Twitch to see if you'd get a notification for a stream. Nothing.

"Whenever you feel up to it, consider telling your part of the story. No pressure."

It seemed like a no-brainer. Naeun probably feels alone right now. Her silence is beyond worrying. So why isn’t the ‘okay’ rolling off your tongue? Why does your face pinch up at the thought of doing so?

You feel even more guilty looking at your notifications. You’ve grown by thousands of followers. Your comment sections are all filled with love. You’re thriving.

“Our audience really loved you and we’ve been thinking, why don’t you join the Dreamies?”

No matter how much you tried, you couldn’t give anyone a clear answer. You couldn’t give yourself one. Touching either subject felt like touching fire. The more thought you put into it, the more you felt like recoiling from the subject altogether.

You refresh Naeun’s account again, letting out a heavy exhale at the lack of an update.

"I know you're still not happy with me after what I said that day." After a long, suffocating silence, Jisoo finally speaks, making you pick your head up.

"I don't really like how we left things either."

"Jisoo, I told you it's fine." You don’t look directly at her, just in her general direction.

"You don't want to talk about it, I can tell, but we have to. I don't like how I worded it, but there's a point at the core of what I said that I need you to understand."

You shut your eyes, face tense.

"I made it about me being frustrated with your relationship with those guys and I shouldn't have. The point I tried to make is this worrying cycle. No matter how poorly they treat you, you somehow end up around them. I don't think you've put enough thought into that." Jisoo leans closer to you from her spot on your bed, placing her hand on your knee. Her sincerity is difficult to ignore, it's difficult to keep up your guard. You still try, tensing up from her touch. You didn't want to have this talk. Not right now with all this going on.

"All the times I've run into them after I broke things off were not my doing. If anything they somehow end up around me." The lie was big enough to linger in your mind long after you spoke it. She didn't know you invited them in that night. She didn't know you were briefed about their presence at the party. There was a loud insistence in your mind that there was nothing to address. The sheer existence of the lie muffled that insistence.

Jisoo opens her mouth, hesitant to say what's on the tip of her tongue. "With the Naeun situation-"

"Ugh- Fuck! I don't want to talk about this! My pictures aren't in that group chat! YangYang didn't touch me! This has nothing to do with me!" You insist defensively. The root of the defensiveness perplexed you. If what you said was true, what was there to be defensive about? Never mind your trembling hands and increased heart rate. And that horrible feeling you got after saying the situation had nothing to do with you was formidable.

"Please, just listen!" Jisoo urges. She clenches her eyes shut, biting her quivering lip. "Who knows how many other girls there are? How many more girls are at risk to end up like Naeun?"

Her words gnaw at you, deepening the ache the guilt already caused. "Jisoo, I can't bring myself to understand why you're forcing me to think about this."

"It's because I think you're staying quiet to protect them." Jisoo answers quickly. She swallows hard. That feeling that she's hurting you is back, and without her frustration, it stings a lot more. "You have to understand that saying that is not easy. But you see now why I'm so worried, right? There is so much on the line if you stay quiet, but you're so adamant about it that my mind only went to one place." Jisoo says in a delicate voice.

"No. Absolutely not." You state bluntly. On the surface, it was downright ridiculous. What would you gain from protecting them?

"Okay, that's a relief," Jisoo breathes, "I just want you to think about it, okay?" She rubs your back and you nod. "And... just remember. The girls are probably afraid to speak up because they don't want their pictures to be leaked as well."

You grow rigid again when she brings the topic back up. "You don't have any material they can blackmail you with. Just... promise me you'll think about it?"

There it is. More reason for you to feel ashamed of not speaking up. There’s no excuse.

The air grows cold between the two of you and you pull away from her, all to Jisoo's dismay. "Can you leave, please? I'd like to be alone." You murmur.

Quietly, Jisoo stands from your bed. Once she reaches your door, she turns back to say something but decides against it. After you hear two sets of doors close you let out a shaky exhale. You ball your fists, trying and failing to contain your paralyzing concern.

"Look what I found!" You sing before flashing a toothy grin. Clasped in your fists were two bunches of pink and white larkspurs. Johnny gasps, pushing himself off the concrete ledge onto the plush grass.

"Oh my god... where did you find these?" He asks, excitement gleaming in his eyes. He cups his hands around your fists, gazing fondly at the flowers.

"That garden we saw out the window! Do you remember? Seventh grade?" You giggle, blissfully unaware of what you just admitted to. Johnny shouts your name before moving one hand to cover his mouth.

"So you stole?" YangYang stands from the spot he was sitting next to Johnny, an amused smirk on his face. You look at him, this stranger that just accused you of a crime, in disbelief.

"I did not! I mean... I did! But they won't even notice! They had tons! Show-offs." You counter defensively before blowing hair out of your face with a hardy puff of air.

"Yeah, that's still stealing. I didn't know the friend he's always going on about was a thief." His smug face still suggested he found humor in your reaction to his accusation.

"Who is this... guy?!" You turn your head slowly to look at Johnny with a bewildered expression.

"This is YangYang. And this is the girl I was telling you about." Johnny says, still pensive about the questionably acquired flowers.

"I kinda guessed as much. She's just like you described her-- well," YangYang turns from Johnny to you before pressing his lips into a thin line, "minus the thievery."

"Okay that's it. I'm going to the vending machines and when I come back! There better be no more troubling assumptions. But first," You lean forward to Johnny, whispering in his ear. His face turns red hot. "your hand, lovie."

Johnny looks down, his face searing even further if that were even possible. One of his hands was still firmly wrapped around your fist. He pulls away like he just got scorched. "Sorry!"

"Here." You press the flowers to his chest before smiling and kissing him on the cheek. If it were possible, his head would be engulfed in flames. YangYang watches you get a fair distance away before looking at Johnny.

"Dude, do you like her?" YangYang asks in genuine inquiry. Johnny clenches the flowers in his hands tighter before looking around the schoolyard.

"No! Of course not."

"I have never seen someone get so red in my life." He says with a knowing look.

"No! I don't! Why would I?" He whispers insistently.

"Why not?"

‘Why not?’, a straightforward question that complicated Johnny's thoughts. Realizing how reprehensible it was to say you were ugly like the other kids do, Johnny was left speechless. He didn't think you were ugly.

Noticing his struggle to answer, YangYang pats his arm. "Look, if you like her, what's so wrong with that? Liking someone isn't about pleasing everyone else."

His words stun Johnny even further, so he purses his lips and pats his arm a second time.

"YangYang! You comin' or what?" A group of boys that beckoned him earlier yell from across the field.

He walks backward as he sends Johnny a short wave. "Just some food for thought. See you later man."

"It wasn't me! Everyone is already accusing me with no substantial proof!" YangYang shouts, frenzied from his boisterous voice to his irregular body language.

"So you didn't take the photos." Taeyong's eyes linger on the computer, the reflection of the screen projected onto the lenses of his glasses. Only at the sound of YangYang's stammering does he calmly look up at him.

"I-I- You know what I mean! I didn't post the pictures on Twitter! That was someone else, probably a stupid fucking fanboy!" He only grows more frantic at Taeyong's indifferent accusation.

"So you did take the photos." He says with a look of disgruntled inquisition. YangYang panics, rushing closer to Taeyong, whose eyes follow him at every step. He raises his eyebrows, awaiting an answer. An answer that was already apparent by the time it took to be issued.

"You have to understand. I'm losing thousands of followers, I'm getting death threats, I've lost a shit-ton of sponsors, and streamers have come out to publicly denounce actions that haven’t been proven! Including that fucking snake, Mark." Each attempt of his to redirect his worry into anger fails once he notices Taeyong is still staring stonily. He's quiet for so long that everyone in the room feels like they're being held hostage. Taeyong opens his mouth, taking a quick inhale before speaking.

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"Please!" YangYang falls to his knees, clasping his hands together.

All Johnny could think about was all the good times he and YangYang had through the years. Comparing the YangYang from the past with the one he's been coexisting with for months now was near impossible. He seemed like a cool dude. Johnny would go as far as to call him a genuinely kind person.

How could his judgment have been so off? He knew he was up to no good, but this? This was too far, this was too much... There was no way it was in front of my eyes this whole time.

It was a throwaway thought to try and ease some of his bewilderment, but as soon as he put an ounce of thought into it, the proof kept coming.

The way he continuously belittled your emotions. His amusement at your misfortune. How eager he was to take advantage of you when he knew you were in a vulnerable state, twice.

But how was Johnny supposed to know that would amount to this? He’d never seen him treat anyone else that way. Maybe Lucas and Doyoung, but not YangYang. No, Johnny never saw this coming.

“Well, we got her ready for you.”

Nausea rumbled in his stomach, threatening to send him kneeling over a trash can again.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes." Taeyong stands from his dining room table. "I've been doing some damage control, I think I have things under control. One of my contacts was able to get in touch with an executive at Twitch. Bans have been lifted."

Lucas, Doyoung, and most importantly YangYang let out a sigh of relief. YangYang collapses to his hands and knees. "Thank you Taeyong! Thank you so much!" He sits up and rushes to open Twitch on his phone. Johnny looks around, the other two are on their phones as well. So that's it? The situation's over?

Naeun's voice early that morning kept ringing in his ears.

Suddenly YangYang's face falls. "How long is it going to take to lift the ban? It says I'm still banned for 30 days-"

The loud slam of Taeyong's laptop makes everyone in the room flinch. Even Nayeon looks pensive. He lets the silence linger as he throws his glasses on the table before glaring at YangYang.

"Don't you get it? You fucked up bad. There's no fixing it. When I said bans have been lifted, I didn't mean for any of you raging dickheads." Taeyong's voice booms, hitting every corner of the room. "Now I have to, essentially, rebuild this group from scratch."

"B-babe! I just want you to know that Johnny had nothing to do with this, okay? One less person to replace!" Nayeon rubs each of Taeyong's arms in an attempt to soothe him. He sighs, pinching his nose bridge.

"Doesn't matter. Johnny's reputation is salvageable. The only evidence against him is him talking to Naeun at the party. Everyone knew they were friends, so that can be explained away. These three?" Taeyong starts, gesturing at the three in question.

"My sources are estimating at least one hundred women with first-person accounts of being propositioned by you absolute idiots. You're about to be investigated for a crime. You're done." He stresses.

"Wait- what about her!" Doyoung frantically points to Nayeon. "She was in on it too! At least with ___!"

"She wasn't stupid enough to get caught. I don't care about what you do. Just how you do it. This was messy from the beginning, all it takes is common sense to know that starting a group chat was moronic. At least share them with each other. And for pictures of naked girls? You can find those for free!" Taeyong stresses, stunned and in disbelief.

"They make money off their bodies, why can't we?" Lucas finally speaks up after stewing in anger. He clenches his jaw, challenging Taeyong with his glare.

"Is that what's happening? What are you, an incel vigilante? And on top of all this, you did it for some extra pocket change?" Taeyong shows no interest in his challenge, instead looking at him like he's pathetic.

"We've made at least a hundred thousand total for access to the server. It's more than what you've ever done for us. And look how quickly you're turning your back on us! You'd be nothing without us!" Lucas shouts.

"Let me make sure I'm getting this right. I've barely done anything for you and-- in fact-- I'd be nothing without you? That's what this is?" Taeyong smiles menacingly. Everyone can feel how foreboding his words are, except for Lucas it seems.

"Yes! You practically begged us to join your streaming group! You promised to link us with sponsors and big streamers and then you just stopped!"

"Lucas shut the fuck up you're not helping." YangYang whispers angrily, pulling Lucas by his shirt. Lucas tugs his hand away, his anger and glare still directed at Taeyong.

"No! And the fact that you guys are still sitting here and taking this shit is downright embarrassing. Have a little self-respect." He fumed, looking around the room at his friend group and continuing to ignore the warning in their eyes.

"Poor, stupid Lucas. Always needing someone else to do all the work. It was hard, wasn't it?" Taeyong flashes Lucas a pout before his face grows rigid. "I can always show you what hard is really like. Do you want to see me at my most unhelpful? How about I make that happen for you." He spits with a scowl.

The threat clearly got to Lucas if his face was anything to go by. "W-whatever. I'm out of here. You guys can stay here and be his little lap dogs if you want." Taeyong puts his head down, letting the tall man pass. Once the door slams he speaks again.

"One thing's for sure, you guys were all quick to take control after I gave you a boost. That guy was doomed to fail." Taeyong straightens his tie before properly regarding the two of the stooges that were left.

"If somehow the two of you make it out of this alive, I have no doubt you'll be just fine. However, I can't help you anymore." He presents them each with a tight smile and firm handshake. "Now get out of my house."

The two of them leave with one last apology and their tails between their legs.

"You were right to kick them out, babe. I could tell they were no good-"

"You know, one of the first things that impressed me about you was your intelligence. You pretend to be ditzy, but you know how to play your cards right. So it's baffling to me that you got yourself caught up in this." Taeyong doesn't turn to face her, he just stares out the large bay window illuminating his pristine living room.

"I'm sorry, it's just- she kept trying to make a move on you! Even you complained about it!"

"Exactly! I'm the one who has to deal with this bullshit! I've had to deal with it since high school!" He swings around to look at her, the anger he's held on a short leash getting closer to breaking free. "I've had to stomach her for years! I think you could deal with a little jealousy." He drives his finger into his own chest before pointing sharply at her.

His words shocked both Nayeon and Johnny, but for entirely different reasons. Nayeon nods, a blank stare all she could manage after being chewed out.

"Oh and darling, do yourself a favor and pretend to be the most outspoken activist you can possibly be for at least a year. I don't need to remind you what female viewers call you, right?"

"No. And will do." Nayeon mumbles and tries to smile, but it looks closer to a grimace.

"Good." Taeyong breaths. "Now we have to worry about convincing Mark and ___ to come back. She's the big one. Once she comes back it'll look like those three were the reason she left. Johnny, I'm counting on you for that."

Johnny feels like he hasn't been truly present since YangYang confirmed his involvement. All he could focus on was how much harm had been done.

"If you can't do it, I could probably convince her pretty easily-"

"No." Johnny says, looking as if he's just come to an earth-shattering realization. After everything that's been done, now he wants to drag you back here to make you suffer again. "Taeyong… she told us flat out she was miserable here."

Taeyong exhales amusedly, looking at Johnny like he just doesn't get it.

"If that's what the two of you choose to believe, have it your way. At the end of the day, there's a reason we all ended up together. She's the one that invited me to be friends with the two of you. You invited YangYang. Doyoung and Lucas came on their own but you two welcomed them in with open arms. Nayeon is the only person the two of you didn't approve of. So don't stand there and act like these horrible people were forced onto both of you."

It felt like deja vu, the way Johnny felt himself getting more hysterical with each word Taeyong said. "I didn't know they were capable of this!"

"So you're drawing the line now?"

Johnny was ready to argue, get years worth of pent up anger for this man off his chest. Yet, with just six words, all that fighting spirit was ripped from his body. Seeming content with Johnny's silence, he continues.

"Deep down you knew who you associated yourself with. Besides, you're not so innocent yourself." Taeyong reaches for Nayeon's arm, watching with pity as Johnny grapples with his guilty conscious being pulled to the forefront. "Leave whenever you're done sulking."

"EVEN IN HER ABSENCE, EUNPRIL'S SUBSCRIBER AND FOLLOWER COUNTS SKYROCKET"

"VIDEOS SHOWCASING TWITCH STREAMER EUNPRIL'S NUDE PHOTOS SPREAD ON ADULT SITES"

"POPULAR STREAMER EUNPRIL'S PARENTS BEG INTERNET USERS TO STOP SPREADING HER EXPLICIT PHOTOS"

Attached to each and every new article is a blurred picture of Naeun's body. People are posting the photos on Twitter as a joke. Miles away from each other, both you and Johnny torture yourselves. Your eyes were straining from staring at your phones all day. You both could barely sleep, not with the potent feeling of remorse churning in your stomachs. The only difference is that Johnny was alone.

"Why are you torturing yourself, babe?" Jungwoo reaches over and covers your phone screen. You shut your eyes and sigh. By now they were uncomfortably dry. You lock and drop your phone on your nightstand. Jungwoo waits for you to respond but you don't say anything. "Beating yourself up isn't gonna solve anything, okay?"

"She still hasn't said anything.” You respond weakly as you stare at nothing in particular. “Radio silent."

\\ | //

Johnny: remember when we were talking about our school experiences?

Johnny: you told me you’d rather cut off a limb than go back to high school

Johnny: I thought about that a lot after you said it. I mean, yeah, who wouldn’t, unless you peaked back then

Johnny: I guess I felt validated by that a tiny bit. I know it’s hyperbole and you probably wouldn’t actually do that

Johnny: but I don’t think that’s such an absurd sentiment

No answer. Not even a flash of a typing animation.

Johnny: I just found out they were charging people for entry into the group chat

Johnny: it makes me sick to my stomach

Johnny: I can’t

Johnny: I can’t process this at all

The screen is filled top to bottom with his unanswered messages. The longer he stares, the more he’s faced with the possibility of her ignoring him.

\\ | //

"She's probably just waiting for everything to die down. That's normal for situations like this. I'm sure she's okay."

Not even a short tweet giving her fans notice that she's taking a break. No Instagram story with an immediate reaction. Nothing. "If I come out against YangYang..." You start, making Jungwoo shift forward from behind you on the bed. "Won't it just make everything more complicated? I don't have proof, so what will I contribute, really?"

Jungwoo lets the silence after you speak linger as he figures out an appropriate response. His mouth hangs open, really giving his words thought to avoid overwhelming you further, lest you stay bedridden.

"I'm gonna be honest. I haven't known you for a huge amount of time, but this doesn't sound like you talking." Jungwoo says, resting a warm hand on your side. When you don't answer he sighs, sitting up on his knees. "When I first met you, you had some problems with self-esteem. You'd claim that the things you said were stupid and agree with insults directed at you. But you still didn't let anything get in between you and the things you believed in. The woman I met freshman year did whatever she could to stick up for people who couldn't stick up for themselves. She didn't let anyone pressure her out of it, either."

There were so many moments during your school years when you begged, hoped, and prayed for things to change. That you'd wake up, get on the bus with Johnny, and not be afraid to enter the building. But time after time, you were shown how truly powerless you were.

Seeing other people in similar situations like that felt like you were watching yourself. Or worse. It felt like you were witnessing Johnny in pain all over again. You wish you could say your passion ceased once you came to terms with your past and that you stopped caring about Johnny.

Putting things into perspective, your decline of passion coincided with the berating starting to get to you. The more the boys belittled you, the less confident you were in your actions. It wasn’t long until you started questioning everything you’ve done, or if you’re actually helping the people around you. Did you actually ever help Johnny?

\\ | //

Johnny: if you’re seeing this, please just give me a sign

Johnny: anything

Johnny: you don’t even have to answer, just let me know you’re there

There was no one there to soothe Johnny’s thoughts. If he were in school again, you’d be there to pet his head and tell him not to worry about Taeyong. But you weren’t there. So Johnny continued to recollect every nasty action he ignored or even encouraged.

Johnny: you deserve justice for what happened to you

Johnny: people are on your side, if you came out and confirmed that you slept with YangYang that night and he asked for a picture, that’ll be the end for them

He drops his hand by his side, finally looking up from the screen after what seemed like hours. He sank his head into the plasticky pillows of his hotel room, looking up at the ceiling. The material crinkles right next to his ears, but its impact fails to penetrate his overworked brain.

I didn’t know.

What could I have done?

It wasn’t me.

Every attempt was a shot in the dark. Why wasn't this feeling fading, would it ever fade? Would he feel like this forever? The thought of that sends Johnny spiraling, desperate for a temporary buffer for this suffocating feeling. There was one place he would go that always helped him when he was alone. Imagining he was in a familiar pair of arms with your voice playing into his ears like a soft melody.

“Johnny, why are you crying? Please don’t cry. We’ll be okay, everything will be okay.”

Johnny takes a deep breath and holds it, letting his mind drift away for at least one moment.

Everything will be okay.

He brushes away a tear with his thumb before lifting his phone back up. Upon catching a glimpse of the typing indicator, Johnny sits up straight. His thumbs are frantic as they type.

Johnny: hi!

Johnny: I’m so glad to see you’re here

Johnny: I’ve been so worried, you haven’t been updating any of your socials

Being faced with Naeun’s silence once again, the guilt spreads further than can be ignored. There's only so much he can do with your memory before the guilt from that tears away at him as well. Tears stream down his face as he stares at his texts.

Johnny: please, do anything but ignore me

Johnny: yell at me, tell me I’m a piece of shit

Johnny: I’m dying here

Through his tears, he is forced to face the facts. She doesn’t want to talk to him. Not even to chide him. What if this is it? If she quits? Never speaks to him again? Never shows her face publicly?

With the suffocation at full force by now, Johnny succumbs to it, collapsing into the bed.

Johnny: I’m so sorry

\\ | //

“You’re not speaking again,” Jungwoo says defeatedly. You let in a fractured inhale, softly shutting your eyes in an attempt to ground yourself. With a slow exhale, you let them open again.

“I’m sorry. Where were we?” You turn around in your bed to face Jungwoo before leaning in for a kiss. It’s short and tender, efficient in its job of distracting you.

“We were talking about Naeun.” Jungwoo says in a low voice, wariness evident in the raise of his brows. Your grin stretches wide as you wrap your arms around his waist and pull him closer. “No, before that.”

“We were cuddling if I recall correctly.” He tilts his head to the side and peers down at you with narrowed eyes.

“I recall neck kisses. Why did you stop?” You expose your neck invitingly, raking your fingernails up his sides and causing him to shiver. He quirks his jaw, privy to what you’re pulling. Still, he swiftly shifts the two of you so that you’re on your back and he’s hovering over you. You gasp when he grabs your legs and pulls your crotch level with his. When he grinds down you inhale sharply.

“Don’t think you’re getting away scot-free.” Jungwoo grunts, the way his hips rock into you is rough, but how hard his cock is already shows how much he’s craving you as well.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll talk of course. You owe me this anyway.” You purr the last part before wrapping your legs around his hips and pulling him harder against you. He coos, pouting as he brushes your hair out of your face.

“You must’ve been so needy without me here.” He tugs your shorts down, stretching the drawstring hem over your hips. He slips them off one leg, lifting the other higher to finally free them. He turns his head to plant a wet kiss on your calf. You hum, making quick work of your underwear before pulling Jungwoo back down by his shirt. With your left hand, you rummage through your nightstand before coming across a condom. He shoves his own underwear down, just enough to free his dick. After grabbing the condom from your hand, he rolls it on before brushing his tip against your clit. You shudder at the feeling.

Being filled with a comforting fire, you pull Jungwoo in for a hungry kiss, wasting no time licking inside his mouth. He eagerly kisses back, the force of his actions pushing your body flush against your bed. You moan inside his mouth as he pushes past your lips and enters your wet and swollen hole. You pull back to look at him with pleading eyes, attempting to communicate how painfully in need of this you were. He answers by capturing your lips again and thrusting you into the bed.

You yelp, Jungwoo was just a little too long for his own good. Each thrust brings his hips slamming against yours and you bite your lip. “T-too much.” you squeeze out.

“Hm, thought you wanted my cock?” He chuckles, shallowing his thrusts before leaning next to your ear. “Can’t handle all of it?” He snakes a hand up your chest and wraps it around your throat. You whimper as tears well up in your eyes. Your thighs clench around his hips subconsciously. Jungwoo huffs.

“Sending me mixed signals, darling.” He uses his grip on your throat to hold you against the bed as he leans away. His tongue darts out to moisten his lips as his dark eyes gaze into yours. “Is it too much or do you want me to really give it to you?” He quirks his brow as he watches you struggle. Jungwoo only fucks you like this when one of you wants to blow off steam or when he really needs to fuck. Right now it must be somewhat both since you know he can tell this whole situation is bothering you.

For the past week, you’ve been buzzing with a complicated emotion. You’ve barely had a moment to rest, physically and mentally. Actually, you can’t remember the last time you completely relaxed. There has always been at least one pressing issue weighing on you since middle school.

You’ve always been wary about, well, a lot of things. Scared of getting hurt. But thinking logically, what would actually happen? You won’t die, that’s for sure. Why shouldn’t you indulge in the things you really want to do?

“I wanna do it.” You grunt, pulling Jungwoo’s hand from around your neck. “I’m joining the Dreamies.”

“Wait, what?” Jungwoo’s entire aura changes as he’s filled with confusion.

“I’m just so sick of being worried about the things I want. I want a thriving career. I want to exist in a non-toxic environment. I want trustworthy friends who treat me well!” You ramble at the confused man above you.

“Okay, that’s great! What about what we were-” You cut him off by tugging him closer by his collar.

“I want you to fuck me hard and deep.” You hiss.

“You’re okay? I know I was trying to be sexy earlier but I actually wanna know if you can take it-”

“Just fuck me Jungwoo.” You say exasperatedly. He chuckles before flipping you over and hiking your hips higher.

“That can be arranged.” He grunts as he carefully inserts himself back into you. “Any updates on opening up about the Naeun thing…” He trails off, expecting you to cut him off.

“We were finishing what we started first, remember?”

\\ | //

The sudden noise of his phone ringing makes Johnny flinch. He sniffles, wiping away his tears before getting a better look at the name. He answers and slowly lifts the phone to his ear.

“Jaehyun? It’s been so long man!” Johnny says before clearing his throat, scrambling to sit at the edge of the bed.

“Indeed it has! I just heard about all this stuff and wanted to check up on you.” Jaehyun sounds just as sprightly as Johnny remembers. Johnny chuckles awkwardly.

“Y-yeah, it’s been a really… revealing situation.”

“I bet. As soon as I heard about it and heard about the accusations against you I thought, “no, couldn’t be Johnny”. I knew you’d never do something so despicable, that’s what I told Dejun.”

Is this why Dejun hasn’t been accusing Johnny? He’s been following him closely, waiting for his name to come up, but Dejun has yet to say anything regarding him. It was something Johnny started to think was inevitable. Any moment now, Dejun would end Johnny’s career for good. But he didn’t. And the hate has been ever so slightly clearing up. Which should make him feel better.

After Johnny doesn’t respond, Jaehyun continues. “Anyway, I also wanted to see if you were down to hang out like old times, maybe even stream together like we did at the very beginning. Without our old shitty webcams, of course.” Jaehyun says, jokingly assuring Johnny.

Johnny forces a short laugh. “Right, of course. Just like old times. I’d be happy to hang out with you again.”

“Cool. Ooh! Speaking of old times! How’s ___ doing? Think she could meet up too?”

\\ | //

“Ah- fuck!” You curl your fingers into your sheets as his cock barrels deeper than you thought possible. At first it was uncomfortable, then something primal unleashed within you the more his tip smashed against your cervix. “So fucking good-” You keen, pushing your ass back to meet his thrusts.

“I can feel you clenching. Gonna cum around my dick? Hm?” He reaches for your head and tugs at your hair. You moan embarrassingly loud, never answering him in favor of babbling nonsense. “Don’t go dumb on me now.”

He doesn’t help when he pounds into you harder than before, focusing less on speed and more on the power of his thrusts. You can feel him in your stomach, rearranging your guts like you’ve heard people raving about. It truly is all it’s cracked up to be.

“Make me cum please I want it so bad!” You mumble through sobs, feeling the intense pressure build up in your stomach. When he pushes your head into the bed your moans increase in pitch. Each thrust makes your legs quiver with more fervor. With an especially hard thrust, Jungwoo sends his tip so deep you can feel it in your toes. A sharp shriek flies from your throat as your hips fly backward and push flush against his. You jerk against him as your walls squeeze around his cock, gushing cum until it drips down your thighs.

“That’s it. Cum all over me.” He breathes, continuing to push your head into the pillows. You whimper as you come down from your high, feeling overcome with exhaustion. You plop down, collapsing into the covers. “Ah ah, I’m not down with that cunt of yours.” He plops down with you, hips finding yours again while his dick easily slips back in. You wince, but you love the feeling of his warmth as he ruts against you. Your phone rings and you smirk as you slap your hand against it.

“Be good.” You look back and mutter before answering. “Hello?”

“Hey! It’s Jaehyun! Remember me?”

You gasp, hoisting yourself up on your elbows. “Jaehyun?! Oh my god, it’s been so long! Of course I remember you.” You say incredulously, trying not to laugh at Jungwoo’s careful thrusts.

“Just checking, just checking. Seems like so much has changed. What’s this I’m hearing about you and Johnny not being in touch?”

Your smile falls, you maneuver your phone into your shoulder. “Yeah, things happen I guess.”

“Things happen?! You guys were the definition of inseparable! And friends since middle school? That’s a bond that’s hard to come by.”

You couldn’t blame him for being shocked. He wasn’t there to witness the transition. Seeing the two of you as high school seniors versus now is like witnessing two completely different sets of people.

“You know what I always told you, right?” Jaehyun says, and you could see the leery look on his face. He really hasn’t changed.

“I remember. You told us our friendship was too special to throw away.” You repeat, trying not to sound as unenthusiastic as you feel.

“I meant that then and I mean it now. The two of you just felt like you really got each other. More than that, you really helped each other.”

“Yeah.” You say louder than you meant to, desperately wanting to change the subject.

“Now that I know you guys are going through all this without each other, I definitely need to come. I’d hate to see you guys struggling.”

Again, the sincerity is really hard for you to ignore.

“It means a lot Jaehyun, and I really want to see you, but I think Johnny and I are a lost cause.” You explain earnestly.

“No way. I just can’t believe that, I’m seriously floored right now. Did you guys kiss or something? Because everyone was banking on you guys getting together.”

“No! Oh my god- it was nothing like that!” You start to blush at his words, and not at the fact that Jungwoo was cumming into his condom behind you. “Me and Johnny? No!”

“Why are you guys talking about Johnny?” You ignore Jungwoo who’s throwing away his used condom.

“Whatever happened, we can talk about it when I’m in your city. We’re gonna see each other at TwitchCon anyway, but I’d like to hang out with you guys before then.”

“Oh yeah definitely. I’m just not so sure about hanging out all together.” You report joylessly.

“For sure, I understand. I’ll make an effort to swing by your place whenever you’re free or go meet up somewhere else, just let me know.”

“Will do, I can’t wait to see you again.” Your previous excitement was completely wiped clean despite your efforts.

“Talk to you soon!”

“See ya, Jaehyun.”

You end the call and place your phone on your nightstand. It wasn’t the first time you’d heard someone say that. Everyone had teased you two about dating or liking each other. You thought it was just that, teasing. Especially since watching Johnny vehemently insist you weren’t dating seemed amusing to them. Never did you think it was serious.

“I ask again, why were you talking about the dickhead?” A puzzled Jungwoo asks as he puts his clothes on.

“I was talking to an old friend. He didn’t know about everything that happened.”

Jungwoo hisses knowingly. “That must be so awkward for both of you.”

“I-it’s like very awkward.” You shake his words about you and him dating out of your mind.

“I’m gonna jet, but I’ll text you later.” Jungwoo says as he pockets his phone. You sigh and roll your eyes.

“This simply won’t do. I need someone to fuck that doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

“Good luck finding someone who’ll make you scream like I just did.” Jungwoo says before your door clicks closed.

When he leaves, you’re able to fully reminisce about your times with Jaehyun before he moved away. Johnny solidified your love for gaming, but Jaehyun ignited your love for streaming. It was extremely fun, and even more sad when he left.

They were good times, but they were in the past.

taglist; @baehaechannie @maximumdreamchild @safariria

#johnny #cynics #jungwoo #nct #kpop #smut #angst #jungwoo smut #johnny angst #nct smut #kpop smut #nct angst #kpop angst

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