#i have a lot of feelings rn ok

[barghest-land]

kissed by a bullet

#it's 1904 john <3 #maybe i'll tell people more about him in the future #and about 1904 javi too because they live in my head rent free and i have a lot of art with them #but for now i wanna keep them as my dearest secret for a bit<3 (btw hi lucas ily) #anyway #i love him #kissing him as we speak #barghestland #rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #john marston #art #artists on tumblr #tw animal death #tw gore #tw blood #not much but just in case #it feels like im not out of artblock yet it's hard to draw rn:((( #but im trying !!!!!!!! #im trying ok !!

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk. #I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive'' #but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this'' #''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?'' #And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

[13eyond13]

love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

#im talking about griffith btw #guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him #and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me #but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings #like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too #and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon #so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn #he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something? #and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv #and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not #ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities #more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well #also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read #there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom #i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read #also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all) #i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note #light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into #and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead #and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol #so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well #berserk spoilers #p

[chiquilines]

i love love the costume redesign you gave midnight! have you thought about a winter version or a You're-Teaching-Minors-So-Can-You-Be-PG-For-Once-Nemuri-Please version?

i kinda like the idea that she just puts on a coverup while teaching like she puts on the costume as normal but just pulls on a sundress or something so it's more appropriate for school

but that might not work for actual hero stuff but i thought it was cute

Yeah in my canon (and everyones canon if horikoshi would just PICK UP THE PHONE) she throws on a pair of pants over her costume and bam. Instant PG tank top outfit

#hi guys reminder im not dead just becoming an academic victim #anyways midnight my BELOVED i love her so much #I have two mental images of her. one would not gaf about wearing a leotard in front of kids #but this one does #both matter a lot to me in different ways #yes the pants are red leather btw i tried drawing it with no references in under five minutes and it shows #ughhhh im feeling so wlw rn #I JUST REALISED I DIDNT POST ANYTHING FOR VALENTINES #NOOOOO HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN #ok hold on ill find something in my procreate to post as a treat #midnight #nemuri kayama #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #chiquilines draws

[cathalbravecog]

first thing i drew on my new tablet to test it out is the tv beast themselves

#gonna take a while to get used to... tfw u get an intuos for the buttons but realize u have #way too much muscle memory for ur old keyboard shortcuts (im talking YEARS. of the same/similar shortcuts. like. when did i get my first #tablet???? 2015??? YEAH.) (not my latest one btw i went thru a few tablets but yknow) #oh well!! ill see #took a bit to get used to but eventually i got into the swing of it since the work space on this is a bit smaller than my old one #i LOVEEEEE how the pen feels tho like the brush strokes its more consistent and i think ill be able to do good if ... my hand isnt hurty #and once i get less shaky with it!!!!! its sooo good. then again my old tablets pen had...its nib for 2+ish years #YEAH IT WAS BAD BAD....kept asking for replacement nibs but wouldnt get em #oops... oh well! anyways we ar the SMOOOOFFF zone HEE HEE #anyways i misse ddrawing cathal............. the skrunkle . the him. care him much very much a lot #trying out different ways to draw him too #and not try to be as on model as i was before... just have fun yknow??? get stylized and funky with it!§§§§!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HEEHEHEHEHEEE #soarry my brain wants to amsh buttons randomly rrly hard rn so its evil laugh time #ok normal tags time GO #toontown #toontown corporate clash #multislacker #cathalposting #guz art

[moveslikekeithrichards]

its so hard to talk about how traumatic it is to watch somebody be claimed by dementia without going "well i cant complain because at least i wasnt the one losing my mind (for now)" but that shit fucks you up so much. that ghost is going to haunt me for the rest of my life and all i can do is hope it Stays a ghost

#tiddytaco #b #thinking about it rn bc today while i was driving my mom home from pt #she saw someone she knew from years ago driving & was like FOLLOW THAT CAR & we met them in a parking lot #& the conversation turned to 'hey what the hell happened to your parents' pretty quickly bc our families hadnt been in touch #& it was a long conversation in the hobby lobby parking lot #& idk if itll ever Stop being fresh in my mind but now its Extra fresh in my mind #that whole time period was just so insane & awful #bc it was like Ok we're caring for both grandparents #& then my grandpa died #& all our pets at the time were very old #& when he died it occurred to me that we could easily lose both grandparents and all 3 pets within the year #it turned out to be like a long drawn-out year & a half from the first to the last #& looking back it seems impossible that is was that short a time period bc it felt like an eternity #we got off easy with grandpa bc he died before it got too bad but with grandma it just kept getting Worse #& the climax of the caring experience was traveling to take her to my uncle bc he wanted to take his shift caring for her #& that was so . So bad. SO bad #like it literally could not have gone more smoothly and it was SO bad #just thinking about it i feel like im there again i get so stressed out

[iwanttobepersephone]

Rant about Harry Potter and JK Rowling, stick with me here

Ok, so, I hate JK Rowling. I feel like that's a given, right? Like, she's a transphobic homophobic bigot who hides behind feminism and routinely denies massive parts of the holocaust, and I despise her in ways that I don't think words can even express. I can't stand her, but y'know what I also can't stand?

When someone implies that my mother, who is one of the most supportive people I know, and a massive part of the founding, organization, and actions of a local group made specifically to fight Moms for Liberty and school boards in our area trying to harm trans and queer people, is transphobic because she likes Harry Potter

Wanna know why my mom likes Harry Potter? Because when she discovered the series at 12 years old, she quite literally lived in a cupboard under the stairs and was in an abusive household. The magic of the wizarding world or whatever was her escape, it's the reason she's still alive, and by extension, the reason I was ever alive.

But, sometimes, not even often, when I try to express even the most minimal amount of appreciation of that, someone says to me "but isn't JK Rowling transphobic? Why would you support someone like that? Are you transphobic?"

Which pisses me off beyond belief, as one might imagine

In this situation, "separate the art from the artist" isn't exactly a good phrase to use, given the fact that the goblins or whatever run the bank are Jewish stereotypes and the house elves generally being happy to work under their masters being a straight rip from the whole happy slave myth, and those are very very important things to recognize and understand, among others

I feel like it's a lot closer to "separate the hundreds if not thousands of lives she's helped from the hundreds if not thousands of lives she's ruined", or even better, understand that the good she's indirectly done for people makes all the bad that much more horrid

My mother is the closest thing to a hero in this entire world and I will not stand to hear one more person accuse her of being transphobic purely because she thinks fondly of a book series that saved her life. I will not stand for people saying she's just as bad as a holocaust denier because she owns every book in the series. I will not stand for anyone going entirely against their point of not judging a group as if it's monolithic by saying all Harry Potter fans are bad people, including my mother. And, once again, it's not often at all that this happens, but it happens and I'm pissed about it and needed to rant

Anyways rant over JK Rowling sucks don't believe a single thing she says and don't support her unless you wanna support someone actively trying to make the existence of queer people illegal

#jk rowling #harry potter #screw jkr #screw jk rowling #rants #yeah so I saw one too many “if you like Harry Potter please kill yourself posts” (literal direct f+cking quote from one) and wrote this #like #in what world would saying stuff like that ever be ok #what kind of bubble do you live in where you think that's an actual productive thing to say #like have you never interacted with anyone who has slightly problematic opinions or behaviors in a positive manner.... ever?????? #do you just live in an echo chamber of people who agree with every thought you have to a T???? #difference in opinion and civil disagreements are the things that human understanding and kindness are built on #and saying things like “if you like Harty Potter you should kys” just says that you don't know how to handle that #that's not a good thing #and I know that more than a couple mutuals/followers of mine reblog similar things a lot and I don't wanna give the wrong message #JK Rowling is a horrid horrid person and nothing else could ever be argued #but my for you page is filled to the brim with posts like the ones I've referenced and I'm so mad I feel like crying #angry #angry rant #serious #AGH I just I am so so mad rn #I hate being this mad like outwardly and stuff but like #c'mon guys basic human f+cking understanding and decency can we try and learn that before telling people to kill themselves please

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

connection between "the poets are just kids who didn't make it" -> "I went to sleep a poet and I woke up a fraud" -> "I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead"

also a branch off there that ties Hand of God with TMOTM but that's actually a lyric comp I'm planning to make soon more than an actual note

#lftos essay #I'm just posting notes now. apparently. I'm trying to write out an outline rn skfnskngsk #EDIT the connection between hand of god and tmotm is the fraud/liar bit #hand of god is very eh whatever about it. hand to my heart gun to my head swear to God I'm through with this - I'm the worst liar I know #tmotm is CONCISE and DIRECT and SPECIFIC. I went to sleep a poet and I woke up a fraud #which. idk when tmotm was written exactly. patrick wanted it on the album proper instead of dark alley and champagne #but the song released in march 2006. I'm just saying that in a lot of ways hand of god feels like a draft almost #and MUCH of what it says both literally and thematically is transfered into tmotm #the contrast of the 2nd verse of hand of god vs the clarity and precision of ''went to sleep a poet and woke up a fraud'' ? #um.... hm. I won't conjecture #especially not on main. but....... I do have An Emotion about this ngl #ok that was just for my own notes ignore me. pencil in hand I'm just trying to make this work #moving on.

[meownotgood]

my brain rewarded me for working hard, last night I had a dream about aki sex ❤️

#thank you brain. I am thankful #kinda struggling to remember the bits and pieces #I remember that first I had a dream I was at work and had to clean #but then my dream flashed to me with aki #I'm pretty sure we did something together before the seggs??? but I don't remember that part at all?????? #there were more important things to remember ok #we were in my room and in my bed under the covers #and he was behind me and holding me tight like spooning yknow #I also specifically remember his hair was still in topknot mode lolol #we were both nakey and it felt really real cause I could feel him against me... #I felt his chest rising and falling on my back and his heart pounding hard #and I could hear like... his breathing in my ear.... and the plap plap sound everytime he...... HRK #my eye is twitching rn...... #he reached around and grabbed my hand and held it tight #I remember him dirty talking a lot but it's hard to remember what he said #at one point I was like 'right there' and he was like 'yeah? right here?' and it was so hot hnnnnnnbgggggggg #last thing I remember is him telling me he wasn't gonna pull out #then I woke up like a zombie #you know when you feel yourself waking up and you know you are but it's a good dream so you don't want to and you have to fight ittttt #aki. I want. you

[marsbotz]

good news for all my haters: im not coming back. not properly. i think social media and being around ppl in general is destroying me so im gonna just focus my energy on other stuff

ill probably still be a little bit active occassionally but for now i think il just stick to posting art etc. im moving to sheezy.art (which is down for maintenance rn but opens for registration again on fridays!) bc the energy there is much nicer for me.. but ill still post on here and insta. im also gonna be working on building my own website again!! so bookmark it and maybe some day itll have cool stuff on it.... :]

#idk ill see how this goes but ive been like lurking here for a couple days and every time without fail it makes me feel shitty #may not be a permanent thing but i have a couple safeguards in place now to stop me from getting sooooo bad. i think #i deleted all the apps off my phone. which has helped a lot esp deleting insta for reels #and i actually made another blog for like if i ever go Cazy again. for like vents and stuff . altho if im not on social media at all it #shldnt be a prblem #i wont share that but u can ask for it if u want. tho unlikely ill post for a while idk #for the record my neocities has like nothing on it rn. its essentially a series of tests from when i started last yr #and got nowhere lollll.. but im hoping to have a lot of fun with it soon #lol this whole thing is a little stupid. and i feel bad but just know its all my own fault. my own issues etc #its happened b4 itll happen time and time again i think. so im just gonna part ways w it #from now on if im gonna overshare it has to be in a lengthy edited well written blog post !!!!!!!!!!! #oke. bye #i do actually have smth to post later on my rnm blog but whatevaaa #oh ill start up my queues again too

[rotisseries]

i think the most tragic thing in the byler fandom is that I have not seen any celebrity secret relationship aus 😔

#this is another “why don't you people like aus” post I guess lmao #“why is st*ddie so popular?” well you see those people write about a Variety Of Things. we have. fantasy. and spiderman #ok no I'm joking I know there's people writing a lot of aus I know this because they're sitting in my marked for later haunting me #(very sorry to the tumblr user writing the 1930s au and the other one writing the dirty dancing au I'm especially haunted by those 2) #I just have not felt as passionate about byler. in months. and am not reading my marked for later #so anyway I know there's aus. it does feel like we're still lacking some fundamental ones though. LIKE A GODDAMN CELEBRITY AU #do you know how bad I'm craving a good celebrity au rn #someone's probably written one I could probably go find one I just don't know what sort of tags to try #bc it could be like. band au! or actor au! or celebrity au! or twitch streamer au! like idk how someone would tag it #especially since I'm open to a variety of Known By The Public aus #I literally just need an au where they're famous sorry #stranger things #byler

[cloudcountry]

i love how i come back to twst post about how much i hate idia for a few days and then leave again it's such a cycle

#auburn's rambles <3 #i think about that time when people were shipping me w him a lot #and i don't think i ever really addressed how bad it made me feel #like i told people to stop yeah but now whenever i see idia i think about how upset and frustrated i was #like it keeps coming BACK i can't get it out of my HEAD #THIS GOT KINDA VENTISH WAIT #idk man it's late i should be asleep but Fuck i cannot stop thinking about how that got so out of hand #my poor lab partner had to deal w me that day LMAO i like. cried in front of her #and i don't know why my brain keeps coming back to it because nobody makes jokes like that anymore #and everyone who did sent me apologies which was so sweet #anyways hello ygys i think i just needed to get this off my chest goodnight #FOR CLARIFICATION I AM OK!!!! i think im just emotional rn and i did not expect to dump a whole ass essay here #muah muah love ygys thank u for being on my side i hope all of your pillows are cold and you have sweet dreams

[elegyofthemoon]

well. i finished ch 17 of hi3. but at what cost

#avil plays hi3 #tbf majority of me playing through hi3 just looks like This. #yes the acheron trailer made me get up and finish ch 17 #i. :( #the fight between kiana and mei was so painful :( #ok also i suck ass in the combat and i was so scared of having to restart #BUT I THINK I HURT MORE THE FACT THAT KIANA JUST REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON MEI #BUT MEIS ALSO DOING THIS BECAUSE SHES TRYING TO SAVE KIANA #AND THEY WERE BOTH FIGHTING TO STOP AND TRY TO SAVE EACH OTHER #MEI YOU SAVED KIANA BUT LIKE..... DONT YOU WANT TO LIVE ALONGSIDE HER.... MEI PLEASE #tbh. the way i was going through ch 17 for hi3. #kiana and mei remind me a lot of oz and gil's relationship back in pandora hearts but #now it makes me want to hit my head on a brick wall because #'wow. i really just gravitate tO THE SAME FUCKING MEDIA EVERY DAMN TIME AVIL STOP IT FFS' #also idk i was thinking about it too #mei tried earlier to use the herrschers powers to try and protect kiana but it wasnt enough. she failed that time #and with no other option to save her she just HAD to and it makes me HURT that this was her only option #IN HER HEAD. I BELIEVE IN YOU MEI I THINK THERE COULDVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION HERE (IDK WHAT BUT I AM SOBBING) #sprawls on the ground #at least i can have an emotional break for a little bit.... hsr update so i can chill w that #and then when i finish catching up w that. then i go back to being hi3's punching bag #can i get off this train now? why'd i sign myself up for this (welt yang doomed me and then i got fucked over by everything else) #idk also the way that both mei AND kiana resorted to using their herrscher powers to stop the other. two stubborn people.... #but its done because they just... they just care so much and want to save the other #okay yeah we did beat each other up about it bUT STILL #MEI I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND 😭😭😭😭😭 #anyways. glad i did. i have the worst stomach ache rn so i was Going through it #but my brain hit a reset so i feel normal now. save for the crying

[reynaruina]

Instead of rebloging old stuff constantly can you post something new?

I reblog old stuff so people who are new to my blog get to see stuff I've posted that others have enjoyed, every time I do it those old pics get a boost in shares and usually someone new finds an AU of mine that they like and go digging thru my art because of it (I see it by the spam likes LMAO). If you rather not see the old stuff reposted you can simply block the "reblogging for the new ppl" tag and you won't see those coming from me anymore.

#ask #and about the new stuff #it's coming #i've been posting more stuff recently and I keep making it #but my confidence on my art has wavered #and I also don't only make IZ art rn #it makes me want to post even less #I do have my side FF.net for all my dino art #but stuff like my own oc art I still don't feel ok posting tbh #also commissions and Patreon art take up a lot of what I do lately and those aren't usually IZ themed #and I know no one's here for non-fan-art art #so yeah #I'm still posting IZ is just slower