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number1jeonginstan · 4 months

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i need a toxic stepbrother!jeongin x fem!reader who comes home drunk and sees you laying in the couch wearing a bit revealing clothes on (idkkk??)

A/N: This was pure filth. If you don’t feel comfortable, don’t read it! There are a lot of things that I don’t write about and this isn’t one of them. I personally really enjoyed writing this, and I hope you like it too! This was such a good and fun request to fufill!

WC: 2.5k

Minors don't interact, 18+

Pairing: Jeongin x afab!Reader

Warnings: step-cest (kinda, technically Jeongin’s dad and y/n’s mom aren’t married!), pussy eating, cumming inside, unprotected sex (it’s back!!), Jeongin calling reader a slut!

You came back home from winter break, only to be inconvenienced by your mom’s new boyfriend and his son. You were thankful that your mom could finally have someone she could love especially after your dad had passed away from cancer 12 years prior.

Her boyfriend was sweet, and it was nice to have him around. He was a chef, and would always make you something to eat, whenever you asked. He also implemented family game nights every night, at least one round, while you were back home for vacation. It was fun, but the only downside was his son.

Jeongin was a year older than you, and he was constantly bothering you. Every time you would be in the same room as him, he would scowl at you, but act like an angel whenever your mother was around.

The other day, when you were eating some cookies that your mom had made for the both of you, you were trying to get the mug from the top shelf of the cabinet. It was almost a ritual for you to eat your mom’s cookies with milk from that specific mug, and since you weren’t home as much, she had moved it two shelves higher, somewhere you couldn’t reach.

You had gotten up onto the counter, attempting to reach the mug as Jeongin came up behind you and grabbed it. You were about to thank him for grabbing it for you, but instead, he poured milk into your favorite mug and walked off.

You were agitated, but he couldn’t have known that you needed that exact mug, so you let it slide. That was until a day afterward when he had used up all the hot water and when you went up to confront him told you to “suck it up”

You began complaining to your mom about how annoying he was. “Why does he have to stay here” you grumbled, cutting up some onions for the soup she was making for dinner. “Sweetheart, he’s family, plus his school is only 20 minutes away, it’s cheaper for him to live at home”

“I know” you whined, “but why does he have to be so annoying!”

“Y/N L/N, do not speak about your soon-to-be brother like that!” she scolded, turning around to look at you. A shiver ran up your spine “Soon to be what now? I thought you and Lee had just started dating like a year ago?”

“You know it’s been three years, plus, it was supposed to be a secret. He proposed to me the other day, we are going on a trip as soon as Christmas is over, so learn how to be nice to Jeongin, you have to stay with him for a few days while we are out of the house”

You just rolled your eyes, not wanting to throw a tantrum like a 5-year-old because Jeongin had walked into the kitchen asking your mom what was for dinner, and said it smelled good, kissing her cheek.

He was such a smooth talker to your mom but was such a dick towards you. You didn’t get it, but you decided to suck it up for your mom’s sake.

Your friend dropped you home from a party you both had attended. “Goodnight,” you said, hugging her and thanking her for driving you home. You weren’t wasted, but you were still a bit tipsy from Changbin’s party, a friend from high school, that you both attended.

You were struggling to open the door to your house, your key not fitting properly and you were getting quite frustrated. It was so cold you could feel the air nipping your knees and arms. It had been a bad idea to wear a short skirt and an almost sheer long-sleeve top, but they were some of the only cute clothes you had in your closet.

You were about to call your mom, but then you remembered how she and Lee were on vacation celebrating their engagement. Instead, you began to bang on the door, hoping and praying that Jeongin would let you in. You were about to give up after three minutes had passed of constant banging, but he had come to the door in just plaid pajama pants.

“What the fuck?” he groaned, his hair slightly disheveled as he opened the door. You quickly ran inside, your body freezing as you made a B-line to the couch spotting a blanket and huddling underneath it. “Can you get out of my spot?”

You looked up to see the TV playing HunterXHunter and a bowl of popcorn on the table. You moved slightly taking the blanket with you.

“What took you so long, you were right here, couldn’t you hear me pounding on the door?” You whined, rubbing your hands against your thighs, trying to warm yourself up. “I did, I just chose to ignore it, but then felt bad for the neighbors having to hear you whining like a lost puppy at 2 in the morning”

He sat on the couch, yanking the blanket away from you, covering his legs with it, letting his toned abs and wide back still uncovered for your viewing. “Hey, what was that for?”

“If you weren’t dressed like such a slut, you wouldn’t be this cold.” he shrugged, picking up the popcorn from the table in front of him, tossing a kernel into his mouth. “You are such a dick” you huffed, getting up and going to your room.

You decided to take a shower instead of just changing, needing to get the night off your body. Not to mention, a warm shower would do wonders for how cold you were. The heat of the shower felt amazing, your body relaxing and the tension in your shoulders slowly dissipated.

You got out of the shower, threw on some satin pajamas, and went towards the kitchen to make yourself some tea before heading to bed. As you turned on the kettle you saw Jeongin still on the couch, but he wasn’t watching TV anymore. He was asleep, his head nodded slightly to the side as you could hear his snores.

He looked ever so peaceful, you could see the rise and fall of his chest. His mouth was slightly agape his hair was covering his forehead, a piece falling below his brow and onto his eye. He was shivering slightly, and you felt bad, so you walked over to the couch. You pulled the blanket to his shoulders not thinking much of it.

It wasn’t until you turned around that his hand captured your wrist, pulling you into him. You toppled onto him, your hand pressed upon his blanketed chest. Your face was puzzled, confused about what was going on as he began to kiss your lips. Your eyes widened, quickly trying to pull away.

“What was that for?” you stuttered, eyes still wide. “Oh come on, don’t think I didn’t see you eyeing me up since you’ve been home, not to mention putting the blanket around me, you want me babe, it’s apparent”

Your cheeks were red, you didn’t understand what was happening. You were straddling Jeongin, your soon-to-be step-brother. It was wrong, it was so wrong, right? Then why did it feel so right?

Before you had a second to think again, he attacked your lips again. His hands grabbed your waist as he ground you onto his covered cock. “Feel that baby, feel how hard you get me. Seeing you parade around in that slutty little skirt, banging on the door. You know why I didn’t answer the door? I wanted to see you squirm, begging for me to open that door. Isn’t that what you wanted the entire time? You just wanted your step-brother to ruin you”

“No, it’s not true” you whined, feeling his cock rub against you perfectly, eliciting a tiny moan from your lips.

“Awww, baby don’t lie to me. Isn’t that you were parading around in those shorts, begging for me to come up behind you to get that mug for you? You can’t be that oblivious to your surroundings now can you sweetheart?” He asked, kissing your lips again.

The blanket had slowly been falling from his shoulders the second he sat you on top of him. Now, the blanket had been kicked off and crumpled on the floor next to the couch. You could see his abs, each one defined and you could feel yourself getting wet.

“Come on baby, it’s just the two of us, no one has to know” he whispered into your ear before nipping at your neck. You just moaned in response.

“I mean, if no one needs to know, I don’t know how one time will be that bad” you whispered.

That was all the permission Jeongin needed to devour you whole. His lips attacked yours, soaking up every one of your moans as he took your thighs into his large hands and ground you faster into his groin. “Fuck baby, you feel so good, can’t wait to feel that tight pussy”

You squirmed into his touch, whining as he took you off of his lap. You missed the sensation of rutting his cock into your pussy, that was until he flipped you around, his chest heaving over yours.

He began to take off your shirt, letting your tits spill out. “Fuck, no bra, it was like you wanted to parade your tits” He groaned as he took your right bud into his mouth, sucking slightly. You writhed underneath him, he was so good and you could feel the wet patch in your panties getting wetter.

“Such a needy girl, all you need is a cock to make you stop acting like such a whore” You simply nodded, going along with anything he asked, knowing that you didn’t want to defy him, needing to feel his cock inside of you sooner than later.

“But…” you whined at that “If we are only going to do this one time, I want to taste you” Before you could even register what was occurring, he pulled down your shorts and panties in one yank, throwing them next to the blanket on the floor.

“What a sweet little pussy, can’t wait to taste it” he groaned, taking one of his long fingers between your folds. You moaned as he slipped a finger into your entrance as he lowered his face to your pussy, licking your clit simultaneously. You didn’t know what to do with your hands, opting to cover your face as he continued to eat you out.

“Feels good doesn’t it?” he asked, your juices covered his chin as he looked up to see you. You simply nodded, feeling too embarrassed. “Aww, is my baby shy? Show me your fucked out face.”

You listened, removing your hands, your eyes beginning to tear up slightly from how good it felt. “There’s my pretty girl” he didn’t hesitate before resuming to eat you out. His licks to your pussy had become more aggressive. He began to eat you out like a man starved like it was his last meal, but technically it was.

“Jeongin, please it’s too much, please I’m going to cum!” you moaned above him. “Fuck baby, cum for me, take my fingers and mouth” he moaned against your pussy. Less than a minute later, you came on his fingers, your pussy spasming on his fingers, sucking them in deeper.

“You are the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted, knew you were going to taste amazing” he licked his fingers that were in you moments before. You were still squirming underneath him as he kissed your lips. You could taste your juices on him, but that didn’t stop him. He continued to kiss you as he pulled down his pajamas.

He began to rub his cock through his boxers, moaning at the sensation. “Please Innie, need your cock”

“Fuck baby, say that again” he moaned, taking his cock out of the confines of his boxers, his long cock hitting his stomach. His hair was cut clean with a vein on the underside of it. The girth didn’t seem unmanageable, but the length was what scared you.

“Come on baby, never seen a cock this big?” he asked, laughing a bit. Your face must have given it away as he aligned the tip with the entrance to your cunt. You moaned at the feeling of his tip protruding your entrance. Just the tip felt amazing, and you caught yourself moaning at it.

“Fuck, you are such a cock whore, taking my cock like such a good girl” he groaned, thrusting his entire cock into you with no warning. “Innie, fuck it’s too much, omg it’s so good” you moaned feeling like his cock was hitting your cervix.

It didn’t stop him, he began to use you like his own personal fleshlight, thrusting into you like he had never been in pussy before. “Innie please, too much” you whined, feeling overstimulated as he only made you cum seconds before.

“Do you want me to tape your mouth shut? You are such a whore, want our neighbors to hear, to hear that your step-bro is fucking you so well that you are going to cum on my cock from just a few measly thrusts?”

Before you could speak up, he began to thrust into you faster, your tongue lolling out to the side of your mouth. He had held your legs up around his waist, fucking you deeper. You couldn’t control yourself, you felt like you were about to cum, his cock thrusting into that one spot that made you want to scream.

“Innie, I’m gonna cum again, please Jeonginnie, let me cum” you moaned as he put his thumb to your clit, matching the pace of his cock as it hit that one spongey spot inside of you.

“Yeah? Gonna cum like a good girl? Gonna cum on my cock and let me cum inside of you? Be a good girl and cum on my big cock” he said, slapping your thigh slightly with the hand that wasn’t rubbing your clit. That was all the conformation needed to cum around his cock.

You wrapped your legs around him, not letting him take his cock out of your pussy. He too eventually felt his high come, cumming inside of you, causing you both to moan. He continued to thrust inside of you, trying to cum down from his high as well as bring you down.

You didn’t let him take his cock out of your sopping pussy, instead continuing to cockwarm him and curling up into his chest, the cool air barely affecting either of you. Before you could even begin to move to get out of his grasp, he began to thrust into you again.

“Who said we were going to stop now? You promised me one time, but you never said how long that one time was going to be” He grinned, sticking out his tongue slightly before thrusting back into you, his soft cock slowly getting harder.

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m4yasnotthatcool · 5 months

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Can we have Andrew and Reader have a life after the events of the game (In the Bulletless Decay route)?

Reader would be an exchange student who would have gone to stay with the Graves family, but in the end she ended up being another 'victim' of the game's circumstances.

She would be a type of person who was indifferent to almost everything, cold-blooded, with somewhat sociopathic tendencies but with a kind heart.

Okay, let's do this, after Ashley's murder, Andrew and Reader finally got fake teeth and moved somewhere far away, but with all the recent traumas and along with the fear of being abandoned.

Andrew started to have possessive tendencies, a little clingy, toxic, manipulative towards our 'poor thing' Reader and that would result in them having children in the future, to keep her trapped in the coffin with him.

ANDREW GRAVES X F!READER

(a/n: okay so i think i understand what u mean, sorry if its not what you expected, im a little(very) rusty rn at writing) NOT PROOF READ!

okay so first of all, Ashley never liked you, and thats part of the reason Andrew liked you sm

like, yea, he always does whatever his sister wants him to, and he hated himself for falling for you

but there was just something about how you were so indifferent under almost any circumstances (oh how he enjoyed seeing you crack under the pressure when you ate the cultist!)

your cold blooded outer shell was something intriguing to him

he wanted to study you

he wanted to get to know you.

did he care about you from the begining? ha, no.

of course he didnt

his sister hated you, so he hated you too

she was afraid you'd steal him from her so he didnt give you the chance

a couple of days into the quarantine is when he'll finally give in and start talking to you

and low and behold, he loved you from the first interaction

you were just so interesting!

he, of course, felt guilty for going against his sisters wishes, but he still would spend mre and more time just talking to you

after killing ashley i think he would just be in denial

for a really (REALLY) long time he would just wait for her to come back, even tough he knows shes not going to

after somehow getting away and finding a permanent place to stay, you two got in a relationship

both of you had abandonment issues you should treat, but neither of you felt it was necesary

from the start he didnt let you talk to anyone else but him

at first it was something you despited about him, feeling it was too clingy. you needed space, you needed privacy

but at one point those needs started fading away

he would tell you "you dont need anyone else but me. im the only one who is capable of understanding what you went trough! and you're the only one who can understand what I went trough. but its alright! dont worry about me! just worry about yourself and what you want. its not like you care about me anyway."

so you belived him

you didnt need anyone else but him

you told him you didnt want kids

thats one of the many topics you talked about when you met

you didnt feel they fufiled any particular need of yours and you didnt want to have them if you were just going to regret them after

he managed to change your mind

after having your 2nd child with him, you were so far gone that you remained just and empty shell of the person you used to be

the lines between you two started bleeding into eachother and so he absorbed your presence

you were no longer yourself

you were just who he wanted you to be all along

he still loved you of course

also i feel like he would get a lot of his manipulation skills from his sister

or whatever is the feeling he gets thats closest to love

he just needed you to stay

and whenever it seemed like you were ready to fly away, he would cut your wings

________________________________________

final a/n

i know its bad dude, im sorry 😭

if you were to ask me right now what i just wrote i couldnt tell you (like im fr rn)

if you want me to try to re-do it just ask (if u didnt like this one that is)

so uh

thx for asking

and sorry its bad lmao

here are the other fandoms i write for!

have a nice rest of ur day/night!

#andrew graves #andrew graves x reader #x reader #fanfiction #the coffin of andy and leyley #tcoaal #fanfic

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sanemisstalker · 9 months

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NSFW // KNY characters that are serial humpers. There's nothing they won't rub themselves on for just a small chance to get off.

CW: GN Reader/ Both Genitals reffered to/ specific CW will be before each character so you can peruse as you see fit.

Karaku

Object Of choice : Anything and Everything.

CW: Genital Mutilation (he gets curious, no scene), Dub-con/Non-con, Somnophilia.

-While I think all of the Clones have a bit of a problem keeping it to themselves, I think Karaku, being, you know, the pleasure clone, is most certainly a cum chaser.

-He can barely keep his hand out of his pants in public, all but physically refuses to hide his boners, and, worst of all, you can't keep underwear in one piece, on, or even around.

-This man is disgusting. The only difference between him and the others is that he's unabashed about it. You'd think the honesty would help, but it just doesn't. Not after he's torn through your last set of undergarments and now what?

-'So what? I don't wear anything- eh? What do you mean it's digusting?!'

-He's so proud about it too, it's almost disheartening.

-Is not gentle with his dick. It can just regrow, I'm sure he's done- awful things to it.

-I think that pleasure thing comes at a cost. It's a signifier of Hantengu's lack of impulse control. Karaku probably can't stop himself, even if he wants to, which he never would because lusting is his only purpose.

-Everything is made to read as innately sexual to him- doesn't matter if it's your fist or a cheese grater- He's experimental with his nerves to a self destructive degree.

-'I didn't intend to cut it off- no! I saw a photo of a man that flayed it o- Hey! It's not that bad! Just liste- It'll fix itself soon!'

-I don't know what else He'd do other than jack off, or try and convince the other clones to jack off. I don't think he has- hobbies?

-Definitely tries to hump you in your sleep. If you don't wake up to him jerking off, you're waking up to him trying to slip between your thighs.

-'I just got horny- no no- just go back t- hey, no, you're not allowed to leave? Come back! Y/N!'

Aizetsu

Object of Choice : Your thigh

CW: Severe Depression / BDSM Dynamics (Severe degradation, both self and inflicted) (Aizetsu receiving)

-What a miserable fuck, he doesn't know what to do with himself half the time, so when he gets horny he just cries and begs.

-He's a manifestation of every awful thought Hantengu ever had in that big ol' head of his. Aizetsu just drips with the most gut wrenching, vomit inducing level of self-hatred you've ever seen anytime you're intimate.

-you begin to wonder if being talked down to appeals to him more than he'd like to admit.

-He's like a dog when he asks, because, at the end of the day, he's still Hantengu, a selfish bastard who self serves. Aizetsu just doesn't have the joy receptors for it- his nerves jump at the bud for any impulse they can fufill.

-When you let him ride your thigh, because he's pathetic, and he looked so... him asking, it became his favourite thing. Ever.

-When you two are alone, he'll just beg for it out loud. He has no self respect. So much shame that he'll never conquer.

-'Please, please- Y/N- I- I'll do whatever you want me to. You're the only person I can do this with, they'll all- laugh at me- please please- I'm sorry, I know, I'm- God I'm worthless- I can't do anything in return, nothing will be good enough-'

-he's practically jerking himself off on your calve as he spews his self hate. You might as well give in.

-When you're infront of the other clones, he'll tug at the edge of whatever you're wearing. They all toss him hauty looks. They're disgusted by him, too. He likes humping your thigh more than his dignity infront of his fellow cluster, I guess.

-Maybe he's... a bit of a.... a lot of a masochist. You stare at him like he's dirt, there. He's a grown man humping your thigh- drool spilling out of his mouth.

-'I'm- I'm sorry I- oh god- please don't hate me- please don't hate me- please please-'

-'You're pathetic. You can't make me cum, but you have no problem mak- did you just cum again? Are you cumming right now? In your pants?... Are you serious?'

-You could easily have him wailing in minutes, maybe even seconds if you hit the right nerve. And the whole time he'll just be thrusting away, chasing his own pleasure against your skin because that's all he knows how to do.

-Push him off right as he's cumming and ruin his orgasm, he doesn't deserve to feel good (The abuse will just make him cum harder)

Kaigaku

Object Of Choice: You.

CW: Mention of Trad Wives

-Listen, I know we have a lot of Kaigaku haters in the crowd. I, however, see a man with a choker, and I see a potential slut. Give him his moment.

-I think Kaigaku would be a very selfish lover, obviously, but I don't think this is in natural capacity for him. I think he's like, brainwashed by societies standards of what attracts him, especially in a relationship.

-You know when you see a 'sigma' guy that's really upset his trad wife who he specifically picked out for being trad won't do anal? That's Kaigaku.

-So he's really, really upset when you won't put out.

-You see a chance, though. A chance for a life lesson.

-Kaigaku is allowed to fuck you... just not really fuck you. He's allowed to use your hand. He's allowed to use your thighs. He can rut in between your pussy lips/ up and down your shaft-

-He is not allowed in you. And it lights him up.

-'Thats a stupid rule! You think I'm not enough? Are you fucking someone else? Are you making fun of me?!' He'd probably try to insight a screaming match for a week, but you just won't give in-

-Fine. Whatever. He just won't touch you, won't talk to you- won't-

-The first time Kaigaku slides in between your thighs, he swears he sees stars. It'd been weeks... probably the longest he's ever held off on an impulse. Hadn't jerked off either, He'd been too pissed.

-Its there, in that little space between your sex and the top of your thighs, that Kaigaku finds God. At least he thinks it's god. It's got to be. He's never cum so hard in his life.

-Kaigaku becomes almost... willingly obedient. He continues to pretend he's so inconvenienced by the whole thing, but then he's sliding into your fist, and the world is just sliding away.

-I have a very specific image of standing infront of him, and him trying to angle his dick to slide in your underwear. He's really awkward, and he's struggling to stay upright because he's got to bend his knees to meet your cunt/cock- and it's just not working, but that's the only way you'd let him get off on you that day-

-It like, kind of gives me the ick thinking about him doing it, but also like- Aw? He'll literally do anything to get off now? You broke him?

-'I can't- it- it's too hard-' He'd mumble, voice sounding particularly defeated. 'I just- I want to cum-'

-'Too bad.' You'd go to walk away, and He'd jerk off on the floor, pissed as hell. He wouldn't be able to cum and that'd just make him angrier, because now he has to go beg his partner, who he's whipped for, to please let him use their pussy/dick again-

-He's like, never been this needy before, though. He's not supposed to want to chase you. He's supposed to have people throwing themselves at him- It's kind of... exciting, to be denied.

-You know, guys that whimper are really cool, but idk, I think Kaigaku's a whiner. I think he whines and groans and it's really unsightly but??? There's something so appealing about it? Like, he's so big and strong and his ego is so inflated, and he's just toppling for you?

Enmu

Object of Choice : Your pillow

CW: Enmu / Crossing of explicit sexual boundaries.

-Listen, he's not right in the head. Enmu never claimed to be right in the head, either, but he's particularly fond of cumming on your pillow. Not just humping it, cumming on it. He doesn't really know why either.

-'It just feels right, I think.' He'd reason.

-'Do you want to- cum in my hair? On my face-'

'No, I want to cum on your pillow. It's where you sleep.' Thats the only explanation you get from him. He cannot articulate anymore.

-He doesn't even think about it when he's doing it. He's just got one leg hiked up on the bed, a thumb pressing the head of his cock into the plush, and he's just thrusting- almost blind.

-He doesn't ever remember the build up to getting there, or what in his brain is satisfied by doing this, but if he doesn't do it, something... off will happen, he's sure.

-You catch him, one day. You thought he was just cumming on it- no, he's got his full weight in his pelvis, pitching his hips forward with all his might. You didn't even know Enmu could physically do such a thing.

-He's not weak, obviously. He's a demon, but you all rarely have sex where he's the one leading, so it's a bit of a shock to watch him be so... rough with the fabric.

-He's almost in a trance, it's kind of scary, until he cums, and he covers his mouth with both hands, and his hole body shakes. The fucker knows he has to keep this silent...

-Maybe you're...Maybe you're not right in the head either, because you really, really want to be that pillow.

This might have a part 2, because i think Mitsuri would be prone to this.

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tsukinoakume · 5 months

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RW&RB MovieAlex vrs BookAlex: A Rant

I'm late to the party on Red, White, and Royal Blue for a dumb reason and now I'm obsessed with it. OMG I WAS SO WRONG.

I love the book. I love the movie. I also love the difference between them that I find myself obsessing over: the lack of June.

I love June. I'm also not mad that they removed her from the movie, because I honestly don't think they had the time to do her justice. The important thing is that when they removed her, they split her personality and scenes between Nora and Alex. And the result is fascinating.

Combining June with Alex gives us a calmer, more emotionally mature, competent version of Alex. He is definitely not the hot mess that BookAlex is. (Don't get me wrong here: BookAlex is my favorite character.) But now it's implied that MovieAlex is better at keeping his temper, handles his shit without being micromanaged, advocates for himself more, and I'm pretty sure the speech he gives is his own. Probably with help, but still. Also not having divorced parents means MovieAlex doesn't have BookAlex's abandonment issues. It's never said that his parents' relationship is perfect, but it's implied that he's had a stable family background. MovieAlex still has flaws and he's not Nora Levels of Competency, but he's definitely a lot more balanced. And this actually changes his relationship with Henry, just a little.

Namely in reference to my two favorite scenes:

1) Storming the Castle.

BookAlex is a ball of rage in this scene, and it's GLORIOUS. Yelling at the windows, aggressively dripping everywhere trying to ruin the rugs, making rude comments about Henry's ancestors. He is defiant. He yells, Henry yells back. It ends in tears, but there's a lot of anger.

MovieAlex by contrast is quieter, more hurt. He hardly yells at all. (I rewatched this scene like 20 times for Repeat to be sure.) He's determined, and he doesn't back down, but you get to see that split second of fear in his eyes that Henry is asking him to leave. There's a lot more emotion and tears in this version. It's ... sweeter isn't the right word. Bittersweet, maybe.

Downside: The lack of transition in the morning from the book. I miss Alex expecting to be dumped, and Henry realizing he doesn't want Phillip's life before deliberately making the choice to be with Alex. Also the comment on Alex's hair, which made me giggle.

2) The Museum Scene

I know a lot of people are disappointed with this scene, and I feel the need to argue about why it's brilliant the way it is.

In the book, they go to the museum because Henry has made his choice, and now he's showing one of his favorite places to Alex. He's the one who brings up the music. He chooses to fulfill his fantasy with Alex there, and he chooses to play a song that embodies the romanticism of their situation, about being in love and not being able to let anyone else know. Your Song.

In the movie, they go to the museum when Henry's still trying to decide if this is something he can have, and he's sharing a part of himself with Alex when he talks about his fantasy. Alex is the one who chooses to fufill it, so of course he chooses a different song. For him, it's a song about how easy it is to love Henry. I Can't Help Falling In Love With You.

I also love that they changed Henry giving the ring to Alex to Alex giving Henry his key in return. I love the symbolism of Alex keeping Henry's ring safe for him, of their two homes side by side. But I also love the idea of exchanging parts of themselves. I love that they have those pieces of each other when they're separated and the emails are exposed.

The book tells the story better overall because it has the time to, and the bickering and friendship between the boys is everything. The movie makes me melt over the flirting and affection between them. I can't pick one over the other because both versions of this story are wonderful.

But emotionally mature MovieAlex and how soft he is with Henry, making sure Henry's taken care of? I am WEAK for that.

#Doing this here instead of my author's notes #I have a lot of feelings about red white and royal blue okay?#movie versus book #both both is good #emotionally competent Alex FTW #red white and royal blue

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franki-lew-yo · 2 months

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An 'A-ha!' fandom moment, ft. The Owl House

These comments I screencapped from a user I watch elsewhere really hit like a brick in the face to me. I'm blotting out OP's name, mostly cuz this was just a shower thought they had rather than any meaningful open discussion with people, but it ended up making me realize something (also NO they're not some contrarian AntiSJW type or even hate TOH; they're a very gay+trans writer themselves. Sorry if youknowwhoyouare sees this and recognizes ur posts but you don't allow reblogs or comments and I wanted to present it on my own):

The Owl House was always hampered by being killed halfway through, writing wise and that will always be it's greatest 'sin'. However, OP's comment made me realize how much the show kind of tells you it's characters are flawed rather than actually give them arcs to suggest it, especially in season 1. When I say flawed I don't mean lacking quirks that are relatable but human: Eda is a recluse criminal; King thought he could kill people and acted like it; Luz is a genki girl; Amity starts off as a bully; Hunter...is unfortunately Hunter, ect. Those ARE flaws, character wise, but in the presence of the complete story (as complete as the show will ever be) they really aren't actually flawed, bad people in anyway.

Before I go further, two things: 1, IN ALL FAIRNESS, this is why myself and others particularly LOVE the characters and why TOH was a comfort show for me rather than a 'high-tension narrative'. The characters are a lot of what you want and hope to be like and I think that's really sweet and enjoyable, especially for horror and especially for kids.

2, NO! I DON'T think any particular bad faith cartoon reviewer opinions about coddling certain characters and punishing others IS WHAT DANA and co did at all here! Steven Universe and certain crap-reviewer's takes ON Steven Universe and how it's characters were flawed but overly forgiven by the fandom the show itself are NOT the b-all end-all of this discussion, nor are they the reason The Owl House is the way it is!

The context op was talking about was how in the upcoming hate crime The Last Airbender live-action show the showrunners are going to tone down Sokka's sexism because they think it's 'unlikable'. Even though, we all knew as children that this was an arc for him and it was WRONG, so axing it because we the audience lack nuance to recognize characters we love doing problamtic-sisms is BEYOND annoying.

Op's point is how The Owl House in particular doesn't actually expect much or want much out of it's characters. Or audience. For any infighting early on about how much Amity should 'die' because of reasons, that's really just fandom infighting when you get right down to it. There's nothing on par with the disagreement people have over, say, the Diamonds from Steven Universe and how Steven 'totally forgave them or 'should have murdered them in cold blood' about The Owl House. And like...from a fandom point of view that's good, but otherwise the show is pretty concrete the way you're supposed to see certain characters vs other shows which allow you to make up your own mind.

Avatar, Star vs the Forces of Evil (pre finale), Centaurworld and Amphibia all showcase your protagonists being genuinely, intensely flawed. Sure, maybe some neckbreather crap-pseudocritic complains that they 'made the unlikable' or whatever (i.e. me with Friendship is Magic) but overall the actual point is HOW the characters actually have grown and have ended up with the ending and morality they need. The villains, no not Zukos or 'redeemed' villains who joined the protagonist squad, VILLAIN-villains, will always be at least one serious step behind the protagonists and that's what give the protagonists the cautionary wherewithal to end them like they should and not 'be like them'. It's such a fufilling narrative, there's a reason people like it so much because it's really good when it's delivered well.

Removed from my fandom gaze; the Owl House feels like it's saying it has that ultimate messaging and character arc when it actually doesn't. Your protagonists have the endearing aspirational-part totally covered, but as far as the actual 'edge' and nuance? Well...

Eda is, at most, naughty. She really isn't any kind of morally sidetracked character. She's an outlaw because literally her society is awful to her and she's in the right to be against it. She's cursed but she's not addicted to her potions or hiding it or not really taking care of herself or her loved ones because of it. Her actual biggest flaw is that she's been 'running away' from problems rather than dealing with them, but I'd be lying if that wasn't suggested more than it's actually portrayed; or at least, dealt with fast enough in "Eda's Requiem". A bigger issue I see, even if it's what's also endearing about her, is that she REALLY isn't a flawed caregiver at all. It's portrayed as her most redeeming feature that she's otherwise a good mom and mentor, but Eda having virtually no problems in raising Luz and King just, again, makes her feel ONLY aspirational. All of the angst about 'failing' to parent and making up for it is moved all onto Camilla and sadly all of that angst for her is mostly within an already bloated episode. Eda, while an absolute mood, lacks any real kind of edge. Does she need it or not? I don't know. Discuss, kids.

Luz, like OP says, is treated like this high-energy super-optimist. She's like Star Butterfly in that her fangirlism and impulsivness are supposed to get her in trouble. But, she absolutely just isn't one when you break it down. Besides episode 2, Luz really is never that inconsiderate or lost in her fantasies ever again throughout the show. She never has anything like what Steven goes through where he hops into Larz' body and makes things worse for people by trying to fix things- which is not only good filler but it calls forward to the ultimate ending of Steven's arc for the series - Luz is just sort of adorable. Luz has blindsided by hype moments of weakness, like when she accidentally hurts Owlbert or messes with Amity's secret room, but still always level headed and down-to-earth. Her impulses are always kind of treated like...excusable? Because, again, they usually are. This is a large part about what makes her self-hatred at the end of the show about accidentally helping Belos' feel 'forced'. Even MOREso than what Hunter and Daddy Titan explain about Belos using her, we the audience never see Luz's choice to go back in time and try and get answers from Philip as being anything other than just, you know, logical. Because it is. The show acts like what Luz did was reckless and bad and that she was SOOO overtaken by her fangirlism about Philip and now just how much she has to live with the guilt and regret of helping being duped by him...it just doesn't come off that way at all. She was only so much excited about meeting him and her interest was getting home to her mother. In terms of comparing her to Philip, that's all fine and good, but again it's not 'flawed'. Not really, anyway.

Lilith absolutely has it the worst...but I kinda think people know that. She arguably does have the most morally-gray turning point in the show given what she did to her own sister. But neither the characters nor her nor the show really hold her accountable in any lasting way for cursing Eda. Lilith is the closest we get to that 'Diamond'-dilemma. She does 'make things right way too quickly and it's obvious to even her biggest fans that her character is really rushed in this area. They lampshade what Lilith did and that she was their villain in season 2 and 2B, but lampshading isn't the same thing as progress. As a result, as a Lilith fan you kind of never really forgive her for what she did. None of that's her fault, cause' you know...she doesn't exist, but it makes it frustrating that you the fan watching the show is doing the heavy-lifting in your mind in this area.What you come away from is this feeling of loving the characters for being able to work everything out. They're engaging and nuanced in theory, but you also feel robbed, w or w/o the Disney interference, of them being fully rounded or WHOLE. It kinda feels like 'and suddenly, he wasn't racist, anymore' all the time with every character ever with except Amity's mom, the Titan Trappers and Belos.

The reason everyone dunks on Star vs the Forces of Evil's finale, (besides being salty over ship wars and declaring THAT'S the reason for the drop in quality) is that 'Cleaved' could have not only worked but REALLY worked. It just needed to be better written and processed as an ending. Instead people reviled Star, the protagonist we're supposed to be rooting for, for what feels like impulsive apathy and cruelty towards everyone else by destroying magic, as opposed to it being an actually selfless sacrifice that makes her different than Toffee. Ultimatley, I do prefer The Owl House, unfinished as it is, to any of that. But yeah... I can now never unsee the characters as being what they are: fun but indulgent when they're supposedly complex. Indulgent is never bad u guys, but the problem is when you only have that to go on while insisting you have fully developed characters, there's a lot of the show telling you how to feel and how to come away from it rather than letting you, the audience, make of that yourself. As annoying as fan-wars can be over this stuff and when people are either WAAAY to forgiving of their villain blorbo or form hate-campaigns over Glub Shitto for ruining their life, it is ultimately a good thing that shows give you that chance to really see the characters that way at all.

The Owl House is, as OP calls it, "tumblr feels" not for being gay and magical and fun and wholesome and indulgent like that stuff is GREAT. It feels 'tumblr oriented' in that it all kind of feels too easy even when it's not for your protagonists. It's never actually "challenging". I guess, in as far as 'good' indulgence is concerned, it's as warm and fuzzy and a happy AU fanfic you found but not so much the Pacifist Ending of Undertale where you really do feel bad if you rectify the good ending in anyway. It's fun and it's comfort food, but not entirely lasting as you want it to be???

Amphibia, I think, was also way better than Owl House in this respect. It wasn't perfect cause nothing is but you really got a feeling for HOW flawed Marcy, Sasha, the townsfolk and even Hop Pop throughout their arcs-- which made it so SO rewarding to see them get their happy endings and come together to defeat the core and be the better people they needed to become.

The Owl House is my favorite where I think Amphibia is the better of the two.

#ramble #the owl house #toh critical #good lord did any of this make any sense Idk #franki's features #I guess technically King had the most fufilled arc #considering he thought he was a dictator-realized he wasn't-and then w he found out his true past was horrified by it but coped #discuss

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skitskatdacat63 · 2 months

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Me rewatching True Detective, fully knowing of the fact that I'm incapable of being normal abt anything, and finding myself getting increasingly more insane about it as the days go on: ah look it's consequences of my actions

#this is why theres certain things i feel like i can never rewatch/reread again bcs they will take over my life #generation kill? i keep delayinf watching it even tho i rly want to bcs i know its just gonna take me over again #i didnt think id get obsessive abt true detective #bcs when i watched it the first time i noted that it had a fandom but didnt get into it at all #so im like yeah okay this is safe to rewatch! i like it a lot but its not gonna make insane #guys. i regret to inform you i feel insane.#lol also sry this whole break has been me rediscovering old fandom loves #so i keep having to be like 'WHY DID I GET BACK INTO THIS'#its just a stop gap i think tbh #BUT WHY DID I GET INTO THIS SO SOON BEFORE F1 COMES BACK UGGHHHHHH #also i think another factor is that have no one to talk abt vett/onso meta or AUs with #so my brain is just constantly searching for smth to latch onto #i keep getting sucked into old things and rediscovering my love #and its all very fufilling but ah man it makes me feel so insane ig #love bursting out of its seams and all that #haha just hoping tho main fandom will be a bit more active and communicative once it starts up again #stop my eyes from wandering anf all that #but anwyays yeah. i feel sooooooooo crazy abt TD #every time i watch another ep my brain is like 'man i wanna rewatch from the very start again'#im very loath to finsih things yknow?#theres a difference btwn completely starting smth over when you finish it #and savoring the world youre in before finishing it #yeah you can watch smth an endless amnt of times. but theres smth abt existing in that space btwn the start and the end #but aaaaghhh every aspect i just am so desperately into it #catie.rambling.txt

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reverieaa · 11 months

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I finally understood the concept of nothing to change but self after reading some of your posts.

I thought I was changing my state, but really I was only bringing myself more stress because I wasn’t specifically changing myself like I should have been. I was trying to change the 3D not realizing it has to change anyway so just change self bc thats the law so it shouldn’t be an issue to me anyways yk??

Admitting that really made me feel terrible and I ended up crying and spiraling (I let myself spiral and go through the notions bc its better to let it out), but I got myself right back up afterwards.

I wanted a face, body, and name change. beforehand but i would stress myself to death bc i was never really fufilled. after imagining i would still wonder “what if i wake up tomorrow and ppl still think i’m ugly” or “what if someone calls me the wrong name?” and etc. etc. Even though i knew thoughts do not matter unless you give power to them, I felt discouraged with myself.

After realizing the concept of…self and that I only want the feeling of the thing, it took me some time to surrender and stop fighting my inner-man (aka myself) because of fear, but I ended up giving the feeling to myself, and I never felt better.

I did Ed Art’s I am the Creator meditation, and I brought forth the feelings I would have if I had those things.

I (finally) shamelessly let myself imagine myself feeling pretty, feeling beautiful, heads turning, hearing my name being called, dancing with my body and all that jazz. (and btw I can’t actually create physical mental images bc I have aphantasia but that didn’t stop me from seeing what I wanted)

But it’s been really great imagining what I want, I love it here.

Love that for you anon, this is the start of many great things. It's crazy how easy things become when we practice not identifying with the body and mind but just sit in our own presence only to realize what we have wanted is what we always have been, and it only took a bit of awareness and stillness to see it.

This is even better because I have seen a lot of anons who have aphantasia get discouraged when we talk about visualization and "picturing" things in the minds eye, but with loa, we learn thag the "minds eye" is deeper than just images, but feeling and awareness.

#neville goddard #law of assumption #affirm and persist #manifesation #manifesting #loa #3d #affirmations #loa methods #void state

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transformation4life · 1 year

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I want to make people happy, bht have been struggling to make that happen, so i thought, well, might as well give someone a chance to use me to fufill their dreams. Mind transforming me into something thatll make ya real happy?

So you want to be something that makes me happy? Well that's the first someone asked for that. Well I'm into a lot of things so let's look into two scenarios!

As you might be able to tell, korean men are something I'm into so how about we say...

You awaken from a slumber as your phone rings from an unknown caller. Despite your usual attitude of ignoring such calls you were so groggy you decided to answer the phone. The call started and all on the other side was loud static and maybe some words like "muscle", "korean" and "growth", but you were barely awake to even understand anything and the call eventually ended. You were very confused and just shook it off as some weird scam, promptly going back to sleep. Unbeknownst to you your body was slowly being remodeled into the perfect korean bodybuilder as your shirt tightened and your pecs ballooning up as well as other muscles growing. By morning you were already the perfect korean bodybuilder snoozing real cutely.

You awaken from your slumber not realizing you were a big hunk, scratching your head as you headed your way to your bathroom. You looked into the mirror and couldn't believe your eyes. You were hot! You quickly took your shirt off and took no time in flexing for the mirror.

As you flexed, the memories of a korean bodybuilder replaced your own current memories until the korean man you saw before you was all you knew. Of course your apartment was now a house and you had a youtube video to make so you turned on the camera and began to speak.

"안녕하세요 여러분 황철순입니다" (Hello everyone, Hwang Chul Soon here.)

The video making process without a hitch and you uploaded the video and the comments came rolling in. One comment intrigued you though by a someone named "Transformation4life"

"Nice muscles" They said. You wanted to get to know them better and we'll just have to see where that goes...

----------------------------------------------

And that's one possibility... But you know I also like big strong burly guys so...

You make you way to the gym after finally getting the courage to finally get big.

"Oh a newbie!" the large front desk clerk remarked. You didn't expect the clerk to be big but he was pretty good looking.

You sign up for the gym membership pretty quickly and the clerk smiled.

"Now that you're signed up all members get a cool free set of headphones! Enjoy!" The clerk reached into a cabinet with a set of headphones and handed them to you. You completely forgot to get yours so this is convenient.

After putting your extra set of clothes in your assigned locker you make your way to a workout machine and plug the headphone jack in to your phone and the the headphones into your ears with your favorite music blasting and pick up the weights before you. You begin to lift and lift and lift and lift. Despite your inexperience somehow you felt like you've been doing it for multiple years. When you finally feel like you're finished you feel... different. You look down and see that... woah! You have beefed up in size in a flash. Your pecs are meaty yet bouncy, bodyhair all over, strong biceps, a manly bear, and even a tattoo? The pure masculine energy now emanating from you was enough to make you want to flex ripping your shirt right off in the mirror.

That flex was a trigger that caused a whole slew of memories to seep into your brain as you were rewired to be a years experienced bodybuilder who loved being a manly man. The memories made you flex again with a lot more cockiness never felt before.

Before getting back to your routine workout you notice someone that's inexperienced in working out and is having trouble with their workout. Being the bodybuilder you are you approach them and so something begins perhaps....

-------------------------

And that's just two possibilities... either way thanks for the opportunity to write this kind of thing i appreciate it!

#korean tf #bodybuilder tf #mind change #mental change #body hair growth #bear tf

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kurutabaa · 1 year

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Weird request, and based off a ML episode, but can you do a scenerio where Ren/Akira, Ann, Haru, and Futaba are each trapped in a bubble in the metaverse, alone with their S/O, and both can’t get out?

Hi, hello! This is a really interesting prompt, thank you for sending this one in! I’m happy to fufill your request💜 I kinda just went all over the place for this one, since you can technically do anything when isolated in a bubble with your S/O. Enough rambling, enjoy!

future note: hi, it's me in 2022,,,, so sorry this has been deserted here for a whole ass 2 years. but i wrote at least smth???? so???? here

Stuck in a Bubble in the Metaverse with S/O

Featuring Akira/Ren

Akira Kurusu/Ren Amamiya

Let’s be honest, the first thing he’d do in this situation is think of any possible way to get out. His leader instinct will kick in and he’ll force himself with the task to find a way out and protect you. Which is sweet! But good grief does he stress himself out over this.

You’ll have to force him to stop pounding against the walls of the bubble, sit him down, and give him a big hug. Tell him that everything will be okay and he’ll begin to relax.

“Joker, you don’t have to be a leader all the time. You stress yourself out too much, take a deep breath. It’s gonna be okay.”

“A-Alright...”

After he calms down, he’ll then think of random topics to keep you two distracted. He’ll ask you about your day, how you’re feeling, your favorite food, or think of random games to play with you.

At some point, he’ll ask if you two can have a trivia game on who knows who better. And of course, Akira got all the answers right.

“What’s my favorite animal?”

“Cats!”

“My favorite holiday?”

“Valentines Day.”

“My favorite person?”

“Uh, Sojiro?”

“Wrong answer, it’s you.”

It was goofy, but it was really just a reason to compliment you.

Akira is very paitient, but in the back of his mind will wonder if you two will ever get out. But he looks on the bright side of things! Since he’s usually very busy and you two don’t get much alone time, expect Akira to take full advantage of this.

Wether it’d be cuddling up to you in a needy manner or constantly whispering “I love you”. He’ll be more hungry for attention as the time passed.

His usual posistions of cuddling are you sitting on his lap, his arms wrapped around your waist from behind, or the both of you laying down next to eachother as if you were in bed.

After he feels more relaxed, he’ll think more rationally about how you two will escape. He can still get wrapped up in his own thoughts, so snap him out of his trance by telling a dumb joke or two!

“What if you pop it with your knife like a balloon?”

“Pfft, heheh.”

You two will most likely mess around with the bubble, since I don’t think anyone wouldn’t be entertained by a bubble jiggling like jelly whenever you poke it.

As discouraged as he may be, he’ll still feel positive that you’ll get out some way or another. But with you, time goes by a lot faster then he realizes.

#akira kurusu x reader #persona 5 #ren amamiya x reader

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schizoid-culture-is · 5 months

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Is it a schizoid thing to feel like you only talk to people to fufill a social quota and preserve the relationship? Like I feel anxious and uncomfortable the entire time I'm talking to them, the interaction doesn't feel smooth or easy, and once I hit my perceived quota (aka I've talked to them long enough that I don't look like I'm ghosting them and the relationship doesn't fall apart) I pretty much disappear for the rest of the day. It's not that I dislike those people or talking to them, I keep them in my life for a reason, I just. Don't want to interact for the most part. I only have one person who I actively wish to speak to and can speak to completely comfortably.

I would say this is most likely a schizoid thing, as this is something i feel as well. For me, it could also be a part of my autism so i’m not sure. It definitely fits in with the rest of the traits of szpd though.

I want to say that this isn’t really talked about a lot because sometimes diagnosing a disorder is just looking at how people perceive us, and that this isn’t something that can be picked up.

but i am not a professional nor very knowledgeable on this so don’t take my word as truth, instead let it guide further investigation :]

#sorry for the long wait #not schizoid culture #personality disorder #schizoid #schizoid pd #schizoid personality disorder #scpd #szpd #cluster a #cluster a pd

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roseamongroses · 10 months

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something about the history of spider-byte's name (and intial lack therefore of a last name) is calling to me. like even now that margo has a last name, ppl still don't recognize her civilian identity bc of how little screentime she had and the brevity of the comic appearance.

hmmmm ok i've marinated. idk much about tech so take the terms with a grain of salt and just focus on the emotional story. think i have some headcanons:

margo lives in a society where it's common to use virtual reality to escape/ experience life but margo is actually one of the more extreme cases of this escapism

she's friendly with others, something doesn't seem to be wrong, but her peersknow she's always connected to the vr/always online. they don't notice how little they know about her home life or about her, despite her being familiar with everyone else.

and this disconnect only becomes worst once she takes on the mask of spider-byte. helping people in the way she's always desired to be helped is fufilling, but it doesn't take long for margo to become lost in her online persona.

the longer she spends as spider-byte, the more the two worlds blur. and once she gains the ability to physically manifest her avatar, her spider abilities begin to transfer into her irl body

at first margo was excited about this change. she could finally be the hero she wanted to be inside and outside of her vr- headset, but she quickly discovers that her bodily automony is being manipulated.

sometimes her skin glitches, changing into a rainbow of colors without her say-so (she'd have to fake sick to avoid questions from her peers/parents) . sometimes when she splits her avatar her body doesn't immediately return and if it does it never feels the same. as if data is missing.

but most obvious is that her understanding of humanity--of herself changes. not in a cruel way, but she feels an alienation from human connection that she'd never experienced before. she saves the day, not because of her childhood desire to do good, to be saved and save others, but because it is her avatar. it is her purpose as spider-byte, not the dream of margo kess.

it's when margo catches herself refering to herself spider-byte, even when she was outside of vr relaxing that she begins to investagate further.

she begins to question her relationship with the cyber crime police department and how easily they accepted her" "vigilatism"/ eventually she tracks down conversations between the department and an unknown scientist/ leading cyber security company. i'm thinking of this being her "doc oc" connection, but im open to other villian parallels tbh

the thing is this "doc oc" knows that margo has been tracking them . they think its funny. they're facinated with their experiement and are very willing to play along with the investagation as long as they get to observe their subject.

the fact that margo got "bit" was part coincidence. the program/ bug was sent out to find a suitable host. someone isolated, someone online for long hours to properly conduct the experiement, someone who had the need to escape and become something more.

it could've been anyone. they were meant to be corrupted entirely by the program, only leaving behind a husk irl as they accepted their new reality. but margo was different her need to do good was so great that it redirected the prgrams goals entirely. allowing for her persona of a hero to infliratrate her real life and vice versua in a way "doc oc" had never seen before

doc oc at first wanted to let margo live as a hero . but her changing the bug--resisting its intended purpose intrigued them more. it wasn't enough to collect data on the experiement spider-byte anymore. now doc oc needed to break her. to rebuild her and understand what makes her so special

and this back and forth does mean margo loses a lot. some days she doesn't even remember her last name. but she's motivated now to reclaim her life, her heroism, and make sure no one else is taken advantaged ;like this again

#atsv #atsv hc #across the spiderverse #atsv spider-byte #spider-byte #spider byte #margo kess #atsv margo kess #spiderverse #headcanons #writing #long post

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angelgoddard · 10 months

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How do I feel like its mine and it belongs to me? or know its mine....

well, it honestly depends on the person and what methods work best for them. for me, i struggled a lot with trying to "feel" anything. I'd succeeded at becoming numb/neutral to my 3d circumstances- and as a result i couldn't feel much of anything when i thought about my desires either. i knew that i wasn't fufilled because i still wanted them, but i wasn't sure how to feel like i had it truly.

my suggestion would be to try methods you haven't tried before. i used to hate meditating and doing sats because i have adhd. i had a lot of trouble focusing and quieting down my mind. one day, i decided to try something different that i knew would accommodate my needs. i turned off all the lights in my room and laid down on my bed in the starfish postion with earbuds in. i listened to songs that i felt connected with, that made me think of my desire. as i listened, i felt emotions bubble to the surface. i thought about the things i wished for, and instead of thinking OF them, i started to think FROM them.

i replayed the same two songs for about 30 minutes, just crying and thinking FROM my desires, not OF them. i saw my family happy, i felt my feet touching the sandy beach behind my house, i saw my mother with her dream job, i saw her master's degree hanging on the wall of our living room, i saw my parents renewing their vows... i saw it all so vividly... i felt it so intensely. i sobbed tears of joy as i imagined thanking my mutuals and texting my closest friends, sharing my success with them. i felt the feeling of all consuming happiness and gratitude. i felt my desires truly belong to me. i cried so hard i fell asleep covered in tears, and when i woke up in the morning, i felt like a different person. i felt awakened and calmed.

the point of my story was essentially to think of a trigger. (music is a really good one, i have song suggestions if needed <3) think of something you want the most, think of how good it'll feel to finally have it. that sense of relief, of peace, of happiness. the weight lifting off your shoulders and chest. it might be hard to capture the feeling at first, so be patient with yourself. i think trying to discover it in a sort of meditative state would be the best idea. once you feel this, try and dwell in it, observe it. don't force anything. allow it to kind of grow and fester in you. you'll be able to identify it eventually. try to get into a state that'll allow you to feel that relief as much as you can. in the car, at school, at work, and especially before bed. eventually you'll feel this kind of,,, peace. a peace that feels like nothing you've ever felt before. you won't care about anything but what exists in your mind.

tldr;

1. get into a meditative state (yes i know it's boring but it seriously helps).

2. let your mind wander around the idea of your desire.

3. think about what it feels like to finally have it.

4. observe what you feel, don't force it to intensify or go away.

5. step back into the feeling, let it consume you.

6. fall asleep in the state or leave the meditative state.

7. don't force yourself back into the state of having your desire, don't force your thoughts. just be.

8. try to visit the state more often until you begin to naturally dwell in it. (it will slowly increase in intensity, in my experience.)

#i really hope this helped #it was hard to explain :(#law of assumption #answering asks #manifestation #miss know it all ♡#minnie luvs the law ♡

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