#i have a lot of thoughts because ive been getting far in the tasks. i was on lesson like 35 just like. less than a week ago

[crappymixtape]

because of you • part three

PART I • PART II • PART IV • PART V // REQUEST -> @sattlersquarry ❝ an enemies to lovers fic with Steve? 💙 maybe they have to put aside their differences to fight upside down stuff and realize they actually have a lot in common 👀 • 18+ | ( 3.1k – little bit of king!steve, mostly angst with a dash of fluff, enemies to idiots in love, steve x reader )

B E C A U S E O F Y O U •  P A R T T H R E E 🎶 thick skull ( re: julien baker ), paramore ft. julien baker

❝ GOOD GIRLS DON’T CRY & GOOD GIRLS DON’T LIE & GOOD GIRLS JUSTIFY BUT I DON’T ❞

“Think she’s okay?”

“Shh!”

“What? No way she can hear us back here.”

“Dustin, ‘back here’ is literally a seat behind her.”

Sat quietly at a table seat in the Winnebago, Eddie looking on worriedly across from you, you were still grappling with the fact that you were alive. That you didn’t die. That you were breathing fresh air and free from the dark and free from Him.

For now.

And as the RV bumped down the road out of Hawkins you said nothing. Felt Steve’s eyes on you constantly as he glanced at you in the rearview. Eddie’s hand still holding tight to yours after he helped you up, afraid to lose you again. Dustin and Lucas and Max all talking in not-so-hushed voices behind you about what it all meant and if El could get back in time and was this all gonna be enough?

Voice thick and choked by the sobs that had felt endless, you’d managed to tell everyone what Vecna had showed you. Told them about Hawkins, about the monsters, about your family, about them. Eddie, Robin, Nancy Steve. And no one had said anything at first. The sounds of your cries filling up the RV. Stark against the silence and heavy with the weight of your words and they knew before you’d even opened your mouth that it was going to be bad.

Of course they knew.

But now that Vecna had revealed his master plan, the efforts you were all making just felt hopeless. The munitions stuffed under the bench seats and closets and cabinets, all puny and worthless against Vecna and his army of nightmares.

A big bump in the road brought you out of your thoughts and when you glanced up your eyes met Steve’s as he snuck another look in the rear view. And instead of glaring, instead of flipping him the bird, you looked right back. Held his gaze for moment longer and he didn’t shy away until he came up on a turn-off.

“Alright, shitheads. We’re here.”

“Here?” Lucas asked, more than confused at the thick forest Steve was now driving you all through.

“Yeah, this is it.”

And as the trees slowly thinned out, thick grass and wildflower blooms took their place. Creeping out ahead of you to reveal a meadow, wide and green and lush. A haven that felt so very far away, felt safe, and as Steve parked and the engine quieted you let out the breath you’d been holding.

❝ MAYBE IF YOU JUST GOT SOME GUTS WE’D KILL ‘EM WITH A THOUSAND CUTS AND SAY WE DID IT OUT OF LOVE ❞

Everyone piled out of the RV and got after their tasks. Pretended like preparing for the end of the world was totally normal and routine. Nancy and Robin sawing off the end of a shotgun. Lucas and Erica attempting to make spears from tactical knives and broom handles. Eddie and Dustin shoving each other around in the grass with their garbage can lids full of nails at their feet and none of it instilled you with confidence, but Dustin screaming No wedgies! did manage to pull a little smile out of you.

And for a split second it felt okay.

Laughter, the sound of birds, the feeling of the wind on your bare skin and all the green around you – so unlike the cracked and bitter feeling in the Upside Down and then your smile fell.

You wished He hadn’t shown you.

Wished Vecna had just left you alone. Wished for just a moment that you hadn’t gone to Max’s trailer and put yourself in the middle of all this, but then Eddie grabbed Dustin in a big bear hug and your chest squeezed.

Your best friend.

The reason why you had gone to Max’s trailer.

The reason why you weren’t going to run.

The reason this was all worth it.

“Ah, shit.”

Sat next to you, Steve sucked in a breath through gritted teeth. The funnel in your hands slipping as you lost focus and liquid trickled down your hands and wrists.

“Hold it still,” Steve quickly tipped back his can of kerosene and set it down to grab a piece of ripped towel.

A string of curses were muttered under your breath, so much for homemade molotov cocktails.

Cheeks burning with embarrassment you went to wipe your hands on your sweater, but when you looked back up at Steve he was looking too. Eyes searching yours, unsure and tentative. Moles dotting along his cheeks and jaw like tiny constellations. Skin gold like it held summer and when you blinked away the haze of him, you realized he was reaching out to you.

“Here, get that off so it doesn’t burn,” he said a little softer. Cloth in one hand, he took yours in the other and wiped at the kerosene.

Oh, fell from your lips. Surprised. Unsure. Your skin buzzing where he touched you and you swallowed thick as you felt your pulse flutter against your neck.

“Uh–here, you can get the rest,” Steve said quickly, like he’d felt it too and hastily passed the cloth off to you, dropping your hand to wipe his on his jeans.

“Thanks,” you mumbled back.

It was quiet for a moment as he cleared his throat and picked up his can of kerosene again. You followed suit and grabbed your empty vodka bottle and funnel. Wordlessly he leaned over to hold your hand in his and once it was steady began pouring again, eyes flicking over to look at you.

“I’m an asshole,” he suddenly admitted, breaking the silence, and you had to focus really hard to not fumble the bottle again.

“I didn’t say it,” you started and he chuckled under his breath. A low, warm thing that made the air around you fizzle and crack like bonfires down at the quarry.

“Didn’t say you did,” he gently pushed back, lips still tugged up into a small, wry smile, but it faded the longer he looked at you. “Listen. I know we aren’t…well, I know I don’t have a great track record,” he said and the change in his tone surprised you. Told you he was serious and you had to look away to try to gather yourself back up again.

"No, really?" you said, all sarcasm, and he huffed another laugh.

“Hah hah,” he joked, weakly at first, and then his expression shifted more serious. “I just wanted to say that…well, that you have every right to be here it’s just–” the boy hummed around his words. Dropped his gaze down to where your hands met on the kerosene filled vodka bottle and put the can on the ground.

Talking to you like this, showing weakness and vulnerability, made him feel so exposed. Uncomfortable. Unable to find the right words and his tongue jammed into his cheek as he tried to decide just how honest he wanted to be.

With you.

“It’s just–everything about the Upside Down wants to kill you and it’s like–” he sighed heavy and carded a hand through his already messy hair. “I dunno. How many more people have to die? You know?” and then he was looking at you again. Really looking, really asking, and for a second it made you doubt everything you felt about him.

Jock. Asshole. King Steve.

No second chances, remember?

“Can I ask you something?” you heard yourself say and you could feel the muddled mixture of nerves and frustration and anticipation buzzing under your skin. Everything you’d been holding onto all this time pent up and pushing against the wall you’d built around it. Waiting waiting waiting for you to set it loose.

“Oh–sure, yeah.”

“Why are you really here?”

Steve’s eyes grew wide and he sat back on his milk crate, hands squeezing at the tops of his thighs.

“Why am I here?”

“Yeah. Do you really care about Eddie?”

Steve’s eyes darted back over to where Eddie and Dustin were hammering more nails into their garbage can lids and maybe you were impatient or maybe Steve was stalling, but you didn’t want to wait.

“Cos you didn’t care about him before.”

“B-before? I don’t–what d'you mean–”

Steve was stumbling over himself now, struggling to own the words you put on him and frustration grew warm in your chest, but you tried hard to swallow it down. Tried hard to let him prove Eddie’s theory of change.

“High school, Harrington,” you started, trying to keep your tone even and calm. “Yelled at us in the quad? Tossed people’s books in the hallway? Threw fries at us in the cafeteria.” You paused, debated whether or not you wanted to tack more on, and then you thought of Tommy and it came out all on its own, “Let your friends say really shitty things to me.”

Steve’s gaze dropped down to his feet and he didn’t say anything at first, not a word, and you kicked yourself for even bothering to think he’d be able to handle it. Of course he couldn’t.

“You know what–nevermind,” you mumbled, capping your bottle and moving to stand, but his hand grabbed yours and pulled you back down onto your milk crate.

“Wait. Please?”

And the way he was looking at you was pained, the pinch between his brows deep, and it made you pause. Was Eddie right? The way Steve cared for these kids, for your best friend, showed clearly something had shifted in him, but was it enough?

“Wait for what, Harrington? So you can show me things are different now?” your voice was softer, but hurt, “Because Eddie swears you’ve changed, but you still sound just like Tommy.”

The mention of his ex-best friend felt like getting the wind knocked out of him. He knew Tommy was wrong now. Hell, he knew it back then too. Knew how fucked up it'd been in the parking lot at the school, but he hadn’t had the guts to say anything. Couldn’t stand up to him or tell him off because he ‘had a reputation to uphold’ and what would everyone else say if he went ‘soft on a freak’?

“I–I know. I fucked up. I get it and I don’t know how I can prove it to you, but–” he started truthfully, hand still holding yours, thumb shifting softly against your palm, “–but I am. Really sorry.”

Really sorry.

Finally. After all those years. After everything he’d said and done, but sorry didn’t fix it. Or take any of it back. Was it too late?

Reluctantly you pulled your hand away from Steve’s, his fingers flexing as they fell away from yours, wanting to hold on just a little bit longer but you weren’t ready.

“You know that doesn’t fix it, right?” you said quietly, glancing up at Steve through the long sweep of your lashes and guilt settled heavy over him.

He knew it didn’t fix it. Knew all too well that words didn’t mean shit, but he would be the first to admit he was a slow learner. Crawl before you walk. Hit your head and maybe something will suddenly make sense and when it came to you? Vecna had been like a sucker punch.

You were strong-willed. Didn’t take shit lying down. Were fiercely loyal to your best friend and just wanted to try to help and it had taken Steve a minute to realize – in your eyes he was still bullshit, but he didn’t want to be. It wasn’t going to be easy, not in the least, but just like you he wanted to try.

“I know it doesn’t fix it.”

His eyes squeezed shut so he didn’t have to look at you. Tried to make it easier on himself as he pushed through the discomfort of taking responsibility for his actions. Tongue running along his bottom lip, just like it always did when his brain was working overtime, he finally looked back up at you.

“I’m not asking you for forgiveness or–or to be my friend or anything. I just want you know I really am sorry. For all of it. Okay?”

Sitting there so close to him, your hands inches away from touching, holding each other’s gaze as you listened to the words falling from his lips in sincerity – it was almost too much. The wall you’d built around yourself cracking and straining against this new feeling that had settled in your chest, but the words wouldn’t come to you as your lips parted and you tried and pull yourself together but–

“Dammit, Eddie, no wedgies!”

Dustin’s voice cut through the silence that had settled and Steve reflexively sat up. Pushed himself away from whatever it was you’d waded into together. Away from sorry and the feeling of your hands pressed together and the look you gave him through the long sweep of your lashes and the way you made his heart race. Turned away from you and played it off.

“Hey! Less dicking around, more putting shit together!” he yelled at Dustin and Eddie flipped him off without looking.

“Like you’re doing anything important, big boy!” Eddie hollered back and the way it made Steve’s cheeks grow pink made your lips twitch with a smile you had to work hard to hold back.

“Shut up,” Steve muttered at Eddie, but mostly to himself, and stood from his milk crate to put your filled vodka bottle into the box with the rest.

You watched quietly as he placed the last bottle in and folded the cardboard shut. Muscles tensing and pulling taut as he worked, moving against the fabric of his shirt and you quickly looked away for fear of being caught.

Then your eye caught his nail covered bat tipped against side of the Winnebago and the threat of the Upside Down and all its nasties wrapped around you tight like a vice.

Oh.

Right.

The end of the world.

Just a few yards away Nancy pulled the trigger on her shotgun, the sound making you flinch, and it hit you like a ton of bricks – you had absolutely no clue how to defend yourself against this. Against Him. Against an army from hell. You knew how to throw a punch and knee someone in the crotch and you’d always had an arm on you from playing volleyball, but none of that had anything to do with monsters. Or guns. Or nail covered bats.

“Uhm–” came out mumbled, more sound than word, and it pulled Steve’s attention up from the box.

“What’s that?”

“Can you–er–would you maybe show me how to swing that?” you asked and it made him turn to face you, giving you his full attention.

“What?”

Your cheeks grew hot.

“That bat,” you said shifting uncomfortably on your crate, “I don’t think–I can't shoot a gun.”

Steve’s expression softened as he remembered what it'd felt like the first time he saw a demogorgon. The first time he swung that very bat into the side of a demodog. The first time this world had been exposed to him and he knew how overwhelming and absolutely crazy it all felt.

Grabbing the bat in his hand he gave you a small smile and took the few steps back over to you.

“Sure. It’s not too hard. You know, just aim and swing.”

“Just aim and swing?” your tone was flat, all skeptics, a defensive move against his kindness and it made him chuckle.

“Well, there’s probably more to it than that, but those stupid bats are thick enough when they swarm it’d be hard for anyone to miss.”

Your eyes grew wide at the thought of swarming bats and it made him laugh again, a half-grimace pulling at his features.

“Shit, sorry. Uh–here,” readjusting his grip he bent his knees a bit and dug his heel into the ground. “Just make sure you get a wide stance, yeah? Like, hip width apart? And don’t be afraid to choke up on your hold. It’ll make your swings hit harder.”

He swung the bat and the sound it made as it cut through the air made your breath catch in your throat.

“Wanna try?” the boy held the crude weapon out to you and you swallowed thick. Stood up from your own milk crate and tentatively took it from him.

It was heavy in your hands, heavier than you thought it’d be, but smooth. You did as he said and slid your hands up a little further on the handle and tried a swing, but threw yourself off balance and stumbled forward.

“Ah, that’s okay. Here, uh–” Steve stepped in behind you and placed his hands over yours on the bat, “–try again, but follow through with your hip. Your grip’s good, just don’t throw your full weight forward.”

The warmth of his chest on your back made your cheeks burn again. Made your heart race. Hammering against your ribcage as he slowly took you through the motion again.

“Then when you get to the end of the swing, follow with your hip," his voice was much quieter over your shoulder, words falling into your ear and making you dizzy as he tried so damn hard to keep his focus. Placed a hand on your waist to guide it and toed your foot forward with his shoe as he took a step. “See?”

“Yeah,” was all you could manage, the feeling of his breath on your neck trailing goosebumps across your skin and you couldn’t help it. Couldn’t help the way the closeness of him pulled your gaze and when you looked up he was looking too.

“Does that–uh–did that make sense?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper and you nodded. A small thing that barely registered and he was so close now. Close enough his nose nearly brushed your cheek, getting closer by the second and–

“Harrington! Where are those bottles? I gotta get ‘em loaded up!” Eddie yelled from the other side of the RV and the space between you shattered. Both of you stepping away as though you’d touched a hot stove and you pressed the bat into Steve’s hands.

“Should probably get ready,” you muttered and he nodded, cleared his throat and took two big steps back to set the bat down.

“Coming!” Steve called back as he scooped up the box of molotov cocktails, bottles clinking against each other as he walked away and disappeared around the corner of the RV.

King Steve turned Steve Harrington.

Steve Harrington turned something else.

Something more.

Something you thought you’d written off.

Something that held you so tightly now it made you want to run, but at the back of your mind, somewhere soft and warm, you couldn’t help wondering what might happen if you didn’t.

[ NOTE: THIS IS PART THREE OF A – POSSIBLY – FIVE PART SERIES, PART FOUR AND FIVE TO COME SOON ]

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist♥️ reblogs and comments keep me going, friends! ily! ♥️

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington stranger things #steve stranger things #steve x you #steve fanfic #steve x reader #steve x fem #steve harrington series #steve harrington fic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #because of you #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fluff

[phamminji]

distraction

ahn yujin x fem!reader

synopsis: you came over to ive's dorm to help yujin with her practice paper, or that's what you thought.

wc: 2.23k

yujin looks over to her door, hearing a few knocks as she sees your head peeking in, "i'm back with a drink for you... and some snacks."

"did you get my matcha ice cream?" yujin's eyes glimmered over to yours as you walked over to her study table.

"baby... it's literally 3 degrees outside right now. and you still want to get green tea ice cream?"

"it's matcha! and yes." yujin corrected you.

"they're the same thing baby." as you rolled your eyes and shook your head at your girlfriend's antics. "i didn't get you matcha ice cream. but i did get you matcha latte." as you placed the cup and the coaster beside her.

"that works... i guess..." yujin trailed off.

"you guess?" your voice raised a little along with your eyebrow, as you give the puppy-like girl a teasing poke on the side. to which she yelped and held onto her waist, "okay okay! thank you very much for the tea, babe." you chuckled as she gave you a cheeky eye smile.

"how's your paper going?" as you placed your chin on the top of the taller's head, wrapping your arms around her shoulders.

"hm... i'm just doing okay so far... i have about four more questions left though."

"four?" as you leaned closer, looking at her paper to see if she was telling the truth. "that's really fast, yujin. you have about half an hour left though, you sure you don't want to take your time?"

"no... i just want to get this done with... you know how much i dislike studying." yujin grumbled and flopped her arms in the air.

"i know... but you still have to get this paper done. it's important."

"alright..." yujin groaned. "can you sit beside me though?" as the taller glanced over at you with puppy eyes that were all too familiar to you, but would still send butterflies to your stomach whenever she looked at you like that.

"as long as i'm not a distraction to you."

"you could never be a distraction to me y/n." yujin held your hand and gently pulled you to the seat next to hers. "by the way, what are the other girls doing?" yujin questioned.

the thing is, yujin had actually gave you and gaeul the task to watch over the other members while she was doing the paper. however, to gaeul's dismay, you joined the chaos rei and leeseo created and almost drove the oldest mad. well, it actually did drive her mad, and that's why she sent you into yujin's room. although she knew she shouldn't be sending a distraction to yujin, gaeul knew it was definitely easier to handle one less kid, so she decided to let her leader settle her own girlfriend.

"gaeul is handling rei and hyunseo, and i think wonyoung and jiwon are ordering dinner for us." you answered as you got into the seat.

"you're staying for dinner?" in which you replied with a nod.

"yeah, it's getting late anyways... i was also planning to stay over tonight. is... that okay with you?" you cautiously asked.

yujin smiles widely to herself as she finds the way you tilt your head kinda cute. "yeah! of course it's okay! it's been quite a while since you last stayed over because of our busy promotions. and i think the girls miss you a lot too."

"only the girls? not you?" you send her a playful eyebrow raise.

"i missed you most."

your eyes widened slightly as you almost doubted your ears for a second. it wasn't the answer you expected from yujin and it definitely caught you by surprise. more or less, you expected her to snark back at you with another comment, teasing you. like "i didn't miss you though." or "yeah, only the girls missed you." along with her tongue sticking out or her signature eye smile, laughing together with you.

this time, you could tell from yujin's voice that she was being genuine. of course, she is genuine about you all the time.

not that she isn't serious when it comes to your relationship. but it just hits different when you know how playful and mischievous the woman sitting beside you can get is now being sincere and baring her heart to you.

you felt your cheeks heating a little as you avoided eye contact from your girlfriend.

"oh... is that so?" you cleared your throat, feeling a little bashful under her gaze.

"aw is someone getting shy?" yujin teased as she poked your cheek with her finger.

"no. shut up." you denied.

"your ears are getting red though. and you're blushing." as if poking your cheeks weren't enough. now, yujin, with one hand, squished your cheeks and cooed, "you're so cute."

"stop..." you weakly said, unable to pronounce the word properly with your cheeks squished together.

"what if i don't want to stop...?" yujin says in a sing-song tone.

now, this is the yujin you were used to. yujin, the jokester, the yujin who would always take the chance to make fun of you at all costs, the yujin who always made you and loved seeing you flustered, the yujin who always makes everything positive, the yujin who showed her love in forms of pranks.

"as much as i miss you too, i forgot we shouldn't be talking." you recalled.

"huh?"

"the paper, yujin." as you remind her of what she was supposed to be doing.

"i don't really care." yujin said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders as you gave it a light smack.

"shush. you don't have much time left. focus on your work, we'll talk after you finish your paper."

you expected a hum or a complain to come from your girlfriend, but it never came. so you looked back up at her, only to find her staring at you.

"quit staring at me an yujin. or i will leave the room." you threatened half-jokingly.

"you can't and i know you wouldn't do that." yujin said with a grin.

"is that... a challenge?" you provoked as you stood up from your chair.

"i wouldn't do that if i were you." warned yujin.

"oh... what are you going to do about it?" you said in a teasing tone.

yujin grabs hold of your hand and pulls you into her lap, as you sat sideways against her chest. you try to push yourself up to get away from her but her arms kept a grip on you, locking you there. "now you're stuck here with me." as she smirks at you.

"yujin!" you fussed and gave her another smack on the shoulder, "you have to finish your paper!"

"i'm already done... but i just want to keep you here." as yujin wrapped her arms tighter around your torso.

"you're done already?" you exclaimed in shock. "let me check."

your girlfriend handed you her papers before going back to her previous position, nestling her face into your shoulder.

"you know this isn't just some school entrance exam or those kind of tests. this is your university scholarship. this a big big major test. you know that, right?"

to which, yujin responded, mumbling against your collarbone, "mhm, i know."

"do you want to eat some of the snacks i brought while i go over your paper?" as you felt yujin shaking her head.

you felt warmth spreading across your body when she continued, "i just want to stay here with you."

"alright."

you almost went through the full paper when you felt yujin's head slipping off your shoulder, before she bobbed her head back up.

"are you feeling sleepy? you look tired." you asked.

"nope... just a little hungry but i want to wait till dinner." you caressed her cheek with your thumb before putting your focus back on the paper.

"by the way, baby... can i get a reward?

"a reward for...?" your eyes not leaving the paper as you were left marking a few more questions.

"the paper."

"okay... just let me finish up first, i'm almost done. i'm left with a few more questions." as you tried to assure her.

"i can't wait anymore..." yujin complained as she started to draw imaginary circles against your back.

"are you trying to distract me as i'm marking the papers?" you jokingly look at her as she has a pout on her face.

"wipe that pout off your face, you big baby. i told you i'm almost done, and now, i'm done." as you patted her head, complimenting her, "you did a really good job, baby. you did better than yesterday's paper."

"can i get my reward now?" yujin pops up, as if she just freshened up hearing the fact that you're finally done marking.

"reward? um... what do you want?" you just had to ask the obvious, although yujin already had her lips puckered in front of you.

"a kiss? is that what you want?" you raised your eyebrow when yujin shook her head.

"one for every question." yujin states.

"a kiss for every question? t-that's..." you stuttered, many thoughts flying through your mind, "that's a lot of questions... you want a kiss for every single one of them?" as yujin nodded her head, her eyes were already closed, ready and waiting for you to kiss her.

you could feel your heart beating so fast that you couldn't get a decent breath. it wasn't your first time kissing yujin so why were you feeling so nervous?

yujin felt your breath on her cheeks as she opened her eyes, growing slightly impatient that you haven't kissed her yet. she takes hold of one of your hands and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"are you okay, babe?"

"um... y-yeah! just... i- i love you so much."

"woah..." this time, it was yujin's turn to be surprised. was that the first time you said that to her? yujin felt her heart swelling in happiness, her hand around your waist, and the other, moving it to your face, and rubbed your cheek fondly in habit.

"i love you too." as yujin drew herself closer to you, you closed your eyes, feeling the soft, warmth of her lips against your own.

yujin's lips were addicting, whether be it the way her lips moved against yours or her strawberry-flavored chapstick, you couldn't stop going back for more.

yujin's hands now finding ways to pull you closer, the tugs on your shirt, her hands on your back and the nape of your neck. your hands wrapped around yujin's neck as they naturally find their way to her hair.

"you guys. dinner's here- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" the two of you pulled away at the speed of lightning as you hear the door to yujin's room open wide, but it's already too late.

"where are your manners, rei? don't you know how to knock? and mind your language." yujin chided with her face flushed, obviously embarrassed that one of her members had just walked into them making out.

on the other hand, your face was burning. making out with yujin was already a factor that sent all the blood in your bloodstream to your cheeks, but getting caught by one of your girlfriend's members? truthfully, you could have just passed out, there and there.

"well... can't you guys get a room maybe...?"

"hello? news flash. we are in a room? now, get out."

"i was just telling you guys that dinner's here, by the way. you should come out to eat some food unless the two of you are already full since you ate too much of each other's lips that you're no longer hungry!" rei lets out a few evil chuckles as you felt your face flaring up at her words, trying to hide in yujin's embrace.

"rei, i said get out."

"jeez... alright! i'm going! i know you guys can't wait to be sucking each other's faces again." hiding in yujin's embrace wasn't enough, you had to be buried in her embrace.

rei was about to close the door when she held it open with her arm and puckered her lips, making kissy noises, mocking her leader.

"alright, that's it." yujin took off her slipper and hurled it at the japanese girl. lucky for rei, she managed to close the door before getting hit by the slipper.

"you see y/n/n, this is how violent your girlfriend is." you heard rei's voice from the other side of the door.

yujin shouted back, "do you want the other slipper to come flying right on your face, you little-"

"baby." you took yujin's hand in yours and squeezed it. "it's okay." you were sure you were exactly a mirror image of yujin, seeing how flushed she got too.

"but she-"

she couldn't finish her sentence as she got interrupted by your lips, "you can handle her later, or you can ask gaeul to do it. can we... kiss again?"

no matter how many times you've kissed yujin, it always feels like it's your first time. how she makes you feel nervous although you have dated her for a while now. how her breath smelled like the matcha latte you brought for her. or her perfume, smelt just the one she sprayed on the first time you kissed. how her lips are softer than anything you've ever known. like biting into cotton candy, it's effortlessly sweet.

"guess i was a distraction in the end anyways."

this one's for silan bestie @silantryoo :]

#yujin x reader #yujin imagines #an yujin x reader #ahn yujin x reader #ive x reader #ive imagines #ive scenarios #mango's fics

[lordiavolo]

nightbringer notes

- surprise guests presents are far less often, i think only 3 per day

- intimacy seems to give nothing and has been broken constantly resetting. i dont think theyve given us any apology reward for it either despite it being in a bug update. they possibly give phone calls but again. Games broken

- its easier to quickly earn dp through levels

- there are more daily tasks to do which makes it more gridning to earn daily dp

- item unlocks are now labeled in devils tree

- asmoxsatan has become one sided canon... which is. Great. :/

- asmo seems to be pushing in a non li direction, and has been completely turned into creep who wants to fuck satan. i thought this game was about fixing problems with the original story?

- things are getting retconned such as asmo and solomons pact being formed hundreds of years before it happened in the original timeline. yet solomon tells mc not to mention theyre from the past because it could "mess up space time continium" okay.

- luke is somehow alive

- no one seems to be mourning lilith until like chapter 10. despite it being so hard on belphie he kills mc in the original timeline, thousands of years later

- satan hates everyone

- mc basically is the reason for everyones early character development including introducing levi to tsl, which has somehow already been written, giving the brothers their rulers of the underworld status

- the brothers dont seem interested in mc at all, who kisses them which does raise their affection, however outside of mammon its never mentioned again (yet)

- theres more information on diavolos dad the demon king, michael, and lilith

- ruritunes are fun and easy. much easier than other rythm games as even if you get a nice as long as you dont outright miss the note you will maintain your combo

- while it seems easier to get through battles i fear in the long run it will be the same. as cards are harder to level, see below

- instead of being able to level the full card (minus leveling up skills) with just one card, you can now only 3 ☆ a card before you have to use multiple karma (?) to increase your skill level to unlock each ☆ level. i honestly have no clue how this system works nor do i have the patience to learn.

- it seems that the only way to get the cards (called jokers) needed to unlock skill levels is through raven, which is now nearly impossible to earn lots of. so far ive made 100s of dp playing, but only 19 raven. you cannot buy raven, which makes it seem like youll have to play the gatcha multiple times to get good cards.

- because of this although the game is seen as more easy to progress in than the original obey me, i presume as time goes on the battles will only get harder, and the cards are already incredibly difficult to level up. with the original game although you needed to do a lot of grinding, and battles werent as fun as ruritunes, it was easy to get to the end, so long as you were dedicated to logging in and read battle guides. now its up to gatcha luck and if you are skilled at rythm games, which isnt as easily learned as a original game battle strategy.

- all voice clips are redone, i presume with the same vas, however they all sound like youtubers trying to minic the official dialogue especially mammon, who sounds like a 12 year old boy with a chest cold

- the game is incredibly buggy which makes sense given it was pushed up to be released months earlier than intended (sept 2023)

- ur+s are easier to obtain as you can get multiple pieces from early hard lessons. ur+s no longer contain animations

- the ur+s being easy to obtain makes me suspect they will be releasing higher ranked cards as gatcha games typically do after a while to increase difficulty and gambling

- there are seemingly no longer daily chats

- you are not allowed to record fabsnaps (in game tiktoks) as the screen goes black

- the chats, phone calls, and friendship ap swapping is all in the same place, the decomm app

- you have to unlock the hard lessons to get all akuber locations, specifically you have to go to level 10 hard, which in order to get cards high enough you need the items in akuber (you can do it other ways)

- they still havent officially announced that theyre "decontinuing" the original app, leading to players still paying and grinding for the upcoming lessons thinking that theyll be doing that. they wont

- as i was writing this it told me a new nightmare was avalible. i tried to open it, even restarted the game but it doesnt show up for me at all, its 8pm and this is when they normally release them so i doubt it was a misclick, i just... literally cant see the nightmare

- upon release of the game they already had a 3000dp/160$ usd charge card mission, preying on gambling addicts and new players who think its a good deal

- you have to pay dp to unlock more comment options and emojis for fabsnap

- the 3d models are horrifying

- theres a new video call feature, which is also horrifying

- the fact the wanderers whereabouts episodes are called situations is hilarious to be. put that beast in a situation

- overall, the story is heartbreaking and nerve racking for orginal fans but i guess its fun if youre a new player, since theyre marketing this game to you, and not people who have already spent 100s to 1000s or more in this game

- cards are non transferable but apparently there will be co-events on both games. i have no idea how this will make sense plot wise to people in the original app, or vice versa

- the brothers now wear their demon outfits for the main story, with their casual outfits being up for sale for 300 raven in exchange raven mirroring the original game

- items in exchange raven are now limited, where as previously you could buy as many as you want, now you are limited to so many per month

- the ui is much more slick and futuristic

annnddd thats it at least for now. be sure to rb and add anything youve noticed. i kept it story lite cuz the story makes me literally nauesous but im up 2 date as well

#obey me nightbringer #nightbringer #obey me nightbringer spoilers #om! nightbringer #nightbringer spoilers

[a-s-levynn]

@lovingache @reveries-of-my-mind @sleepanonymous Sorry you had to wait this much but i fell asleep and then work happend and i rewrote the entire post because it made so little sense and yeah..

I certainly can't be brief with this so i'm gonna insert a cut but if you are interested, this is what ST helped and still helps me work through during my still ongoing journey of selfacceptance.

It is kind of messy, there is a lot of rambling and wandering of thoughts but finally here it is.

A lot of this is, i'm sure of it, is going to sound very familiar to you because there is a reason we gravitate towards Sleep Token. Yeah memes are fun, much shapes, the guys are cryptids, Vessel has a nice body, III is the fun chaos noodle ballerina whatever, II is cute how he simps for Vessel from behind the drumkit when he isn't destroying it, IV is obejctively the sexy one and all the shenanigens. Whatever. We all know. BUT. If we are honest we love all of it because how it was built up. Because we are all a bit broken inside in ways. And we have a way to channel it in a way many of us never been able to before. We are allowed to be broken and exist in a space where it is okay. It is understood. Like.. Never in my entire life been so comfortable with the scars on my arms as is was when i was waiting in que before an ST ritual. Just sayin..

But back to the topic. Sorry i'm prone to wander.

It's hard to get this together in a way that isn't too much about me but it is not an easy task let me tell you. I'll put a link to an abbreviated version of how i got to be the person i am because it retrospectively will add some additional context to this entire thing, but that's fully optional. But first:

a little context on how i fell into the ST pit anyway: I first found them when the second ep released. I liked the look, i checked them out solely because that masked look interesting, but i really did not vibed with the music. I wasn't listening to the lyrics.

Next time they came into my field of vision before the release of TPWBYT. I still wasn't fully sold but there were a few tracks that got trough to me from Sundowning. Still not all of it. I wasn't paying attention still.

And then the end of last year came and something started an itch in my brain to take them out again.. and i finally sat down and read the lyrics properly. I never in my entire life sobbed so uncontrollably like when i first experienced Atlantic with actually paying attention to the lyrics.

And then the TMBTE singles started to release, then the album came. It's not a coincidence i said it's akin to a pilgrimage. It was an emotional pilgrimage to me, and still is every time i do it. And i was fairly normal about all of it. It hit me for sure, but i actually was lost when i finally saw them live. It just broke through like a dam in a flood. That concentrated energy is something that is hard to describe. Anyway. Now here i am.

So the things Sleep Token helped me with, that 10+ years of objectively unsuccesful therapy miserably failed to achieve.

being able to cry properly

being unapologetic about what i like

being able to start to feel my feelings

being unashamed by feelings that are generally considered problematic

being able to process in a much more healthy way if something is not okay in my head

ST gave me a healthier coping album to listen to when i'm on my lows

I'm not saying i'm perfectly fine by a weave of a magical drumstic, what i'm saying is that i stab myself significantly less when i can't focus for the life of me.

So maybe go over the bulletpoints i guess?

1. crying

With ST i felt finally seen in a way i never had before. I never was a cryer, but since i actually got into ST, i do sometimes. Not all the time but probably a far healthier amount then before. Because not crying is unhealthy. It doesn't make you strong and all that crap. It just adds to the unnecessary weight you carry. Some realize this sooner and i'm so happy for them beause it is important.

2. being unapologetic of my interests

I meantioned it before, an it was what sprang this entire long ass post to existance, but let it be here as well: i was unlearning a lot of thing and being apologetic over what i like is one for them. And i was progressively better and better at it, but like lately it just blew through the stratosphere because one cannot talk about Sleep Token and not sound kind of mental at least a bit. And at this point i don't give a shit. I like what i like, it doesn't hurt anyone. If someone laughs at me for it? Good for them at least i made them smile.

The context of this is a friendgroup i was in from around 14 to 20 and it had good paarts but ultimately was an emotionally controlling one, which i realized far too late. And it already created patterns and habits. Needless to say, i don't talk to any of them anymore.

3. feeling the feelz

This is where i'm going to start to sound really weird i think but who knows.. maybe more of you are in the same shoes than i would think.

From a considerably young age i was repressing basically every strong emotion possible. Happyness, sadness, excitement even anger to a certain degree. It started with the sadness, and emotional pain but as with everything it spiraled out to the rest of my emotions. I was also basically in a constant fight or flight mode which just propells you forward at any given time, when you should have stopped to feel shit.

And after a while that creates this weird dissonance of not really feeling anything and at the same time having the empathy, emotional maturity and social awareness to understand how others feel in given situations. Moreover i was acutely aware how i should feel in certain moments, it just.. never really happend. I knew the correct answers to the proverbial questions but my brain just put up a wall and never let me actually feel anything. I was simply empty.

This created the perfect blank slate for me to be the quote on quote emotional mirror for all my friends and even family at times. So usually people came and still come to me to be a sort of free therapist or something like that. Just spitballing what they are going through and reflecting it back to help them understand. And don't get me wrong i love helping people, i really do, and also when the conversation is over, some of their relief is left behind for me and it was at least something.

But at the end of the day i was constantly left with this feeling of "who am i in all this?" , "where is the person whom i can call me?" and that is a very lonely place of being. Especially when you are younger. (This is i think, at least partially, why i may have caught on to the vibe what Vessel supposed to be about. Because either i like it or not, i get what it's like. At least a version of it. To be so empty that anything and everything that creates the illusion of feeling something, anything, it is good enough for the moment.)

And here comes Sleep Token again. Because the songs are highly, highly emotional. And here comes the brilliance of Vessel as a character because by design a vessel is a blank slate. Could be anyone, because it is supposedly empty. Which is a very familiar state of being for me. And that is what made for me so easy to connect and by proxy going through the motions and start to get eased into being comfortable with feeling things again.

It still in it's infancy, that is why i'm a wreck at days, because i'm still relearning stuff that was last natural for me around two decades ago. But i wanna get there. When i can just feel, without guidance. But this is something none of my supposedly professional therapist knew what to do with.

And here comes this british sadboy with his masks and bodypaint and i'm finally nudged away from point zero? Yeah, you can bet your ass i'll take my chances and be grateful for the rest of my life no matter how far it gets me. If it is a tenth of an inch than it is a tenth of an inch. It is still more progress than i ever had before.

4. being unashamed of feelz

Sounds contradictory to the previous point but not really. If you ever felt.. for example let's say obession, true obession you know it's not like any other feeling. It works differently. Not easily controllable and it could lead to anger and rage, end in agression, all sorts of not so great things.

These are stuff we all try to repress for understanable reasons. This is the stuff we know are bad because they usually can lead to bad things. We hear it all our lives. They aren't bad. Not necesseraly. So we shouldn't be afraid to feel them. Not without understanding they are there, either one wants it or not. These are just as natural than any other feeling and no less dangerous than the rest.

They are part of the human condition. But we need to learn to live with them and control them. Repressed things tend to just explode one day and that is when the damage happens. When something can exist in a controlled enviroment, and can be observed from different angles it can be understood. And we are usually not afraid of things we understand. We deal with them. That is the whole point.

And yet again, obsession is a heavy and somewhat recurring theme in ST lyrics either actually or on a meta level if you pay attention. And the way it is presented and integrated into the whole of the story created with the discography is what solidifies it as, a thing than can be observed. It can be understood.

And the honesty of how it is presented what makes me comfortable with the fact that no, i'm not a freak, i'm not abnormal because of it. But there is a conscientious choice to be made how i deal with it. How i learn to direct it to something positive and create something with it, insted of going the other way.

It's like murder. Everyone thinks about it. It doesn't mean everyone is a potential murderer waiting to snap. Fuck no. But we do think about it. Is it okay to think about it a lot? It's not my place to decide how much is too much. But thinking isn't the problem. It is how we talk about the fact that we think about it, can be a problem. Anyway i'm diverging to much into philosophising territories. It happens, sorry.

5. processing the mess in my head

This is a pretty straightforward one actually. My mind is a mess. My long term memory is patchy, the short term one is barely existant. I understand a lot of the world in certain ways but i know so little in others. ST makes me think a lot more.

I always catch a word or a phrase or a line, maybe a verse, that lodges itself behind my eye for a time and i just keep it rolling. Associating on it, connecting it to other stuff. It stops me for a minute and forces me to roll an idea over and over and over and over again in my head and just run with it until i end up with some sort of epiphany.

It doesn't have to be a big thing, it can be the smallest thing, something like a shiny glass ball in a box of far more interesting toys. But it is my glass ball, I picked the colour inside.

6. a healthier coping album

Yeah this one.. So for the longest time when my mind got murky and getting too lost into the void, music was what could drag me out of it. Since i was a kid, the album that could kick me back towards the tracks was Phobia from Breaking Benjamin. I put it on an usually by the end of it i sort of was back on a functioning state. Not a good place but a functionig one. But if you ever heard the album in it's entirety, it is hardly an uplifting one.

Now when i feel low i roll the first two ST albums in sequence. By the time i reach missing limbs i feel actually better. My mom put it to words really well when she said "I don't understand the words of what this man is singing about but i can guess he is not happy. Is it about sad things right? I feel that. But i like it because it feels more comforting instead of making me sad as well." And that i thinks sums it up pretty well. Because it is no longet the outstreched hand of you-are-not-alone but the outstreched soul that cries you-can-find-yourself-in-me. And that is the definition of comforting for me. (Yes i love that phrace because it fits, let me be proud of myself for saying something that sounds good for once.)

And that is pretty much it for now. There should be a few more things ST is a reasonably large part of my self-journey but i've gotta think on it more i think. I'm not even sure i realize all of it.

I'll link a separete post here at the end which sums up how i got to this place i am. It is heavily abbreviated but it is still feels too long. It is certainly far more personal than this but i think it adds context to what was written above. But i don't want to clutter this one with that kind of personal stuff, also it's just an optional thing for anyone who wishes to maybe understand me a bit better and where i come from. [link to said post] Just for the record: this post does mention mental a physical abuse (no sexual one), self harm, mental issues, so all the fun stuff, but does not detail it.

#levynn tries to think #i wasn't joking about it being an essay #length-wise it certainly is #this is probably either gonna cost me followers or no one is going to read it because it's long as hell #sleep token

[slasher-male-wife]

hi, ive been stalking ur blog recently since there is a painful lack of male readers when it comes to thomas hewitt/bubba sawyer so i am here and requesting :3

maybe some headcanons about a malewife s/o for thomas and bubba,, like he cooks with whoever is tasked with dinner n cleans and does laundry, the whole nine yards, even helping clean up messes after thomas/bubba is done with victims (maybe even helping when some victims escape)

thank you if you do end up writing this!! have a great day/night!! :D

Really about to put the malewife in my name to good use. I might write a fic based on this idea later but for now here's some head cannons.

Thomas Hewitt and Bubba Sawyer with a male wife

Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, murder and cannibalism

Thomas Hewitt

Hoyt and Monty are going to be huge assholes about you being a male wife. Constantly telling you “real men don’t do this” “real men don’t do that” whatever. They might call you a fairy or something like that but that’s as far as they go because they know who’s side Thomas is on.

Luda Mae is happy to have another helping hand with chores. They get done twice as fast and she gets down time too. It’s also nice to have a younger, stronger person helping out too.

She’ll make you some clothes if you don’t know how to make your own and will use “the good fabric” because she likes you a lot.

Thomas is head over heels for you. A handsome man who also cooks, cleans, helps around the house and loves him? He’s all for it. He’s hesitant to have you help clean up the basement but when he sees you cleaning up the carnage from someone getting bashed in the head in the living room he’s less worried.

If you’re good with getting blood stains out of clothes you’re in charge of laundry from now on. Once a week you’ll go into the basement to help clean up the mess.

There’s a learning curve when learning to cook human meat but you’ll pick it up soon enough don’t worry Y/n.

If you actually kill someone everyone is a bit surprise. They thought because of how domestic you are that you’d never kill someone. The comments from Hoyt and Monty will stop and they’ll push you to kill more people if you’re good at it.

Bubba Sawyer

Like Hoyt and Monty the twins will constantly comment on how you’re “doing a women’s job” or “being a queer” but Drayton will have them cut it out because finally someone is helping around the house.

Bubba was the one who did the more domestic jobs like cleaning and laundry so finally getting help is really nice. He’s happy to have someone help him clean.

I'm pretty sure you're just gonna have to take over for Bubba because now that you're here Drayton's gonna have Bubba work on other things in the house.

Bubba loves knowing that he's not the only feminine man out there and that he can be a man and enjoy cooking, cleaning and doing household work too.

Will defend you from his brothers if they get too mean to you. Also please defend him. I feel like Bubba gives me "He's my girlfriend!" Energy.

Drayton will love another helping hand with cooking too. He will teach you how to cook the meat properly and probably ask you to make other things like bread.

Bubba's gonna take a bit to get used to seeing you cleaning up blood and guts. I feel like eventually he'll teach you how to cut the meat but until then you're not watching him kill people.

But if/when you do kill someone they're all a bit surprised at that. They'll really see you as a Sawyer now.

#thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x you #thomas hewitt x y/n #thomas hewitt x reader #bubba sawyer #bubba saywer x reader #bubba sawyer x y/n #slasher x y/n #slasher x reader

[squided]

Has anyone else experienced their parents getting progressively more rude, intrusive, and hypocritical as they got older? Like my mom had me pretty late in life (she was 37) so I recognize I have an older mom than most. And yeah during my teenage years and stuff I thought she was annoying but she was genuinely a good and caring mom. But honestly I've noticed since she's hit her 60s and went through a bad second marriage, she lashes out a lot, expects me to be productive 7 days a week, essentially work all day long, spend 1 hour of relaxation, and then sleep. Anytime this gets me agitated, she goes on about how she needs to work two jobs and 7 days a week and SHE never gets rest and I don't see HER complaining (she is literally complaining about it all the time). Essentially since ive had to live with her again temporarily I've put up with it and have taken on the same workload as her and I've discovered.... there's no way to please her. Every day I should be studying so I can get certifications, I should be looking at new jobs because she doesn't approve of how my managers treat me at my minimum wage job (every job I've had so far), I need to clean the house and my room, I need to go to work, I need to look at universities, I need to make 10 phone calls that will keep me on hold for an hour at a time, I need to pull the weeds in the yard. If I fail a single task, it's met with disappointment and talking about how much work she does and how little I do. If I do all the tasks, then come a list of questions: how's my money doing? Have I been saving it or spending it recklessly? Have I tried quitting smoking yet? Have I cleaned some obscure thing she mentioned a month ago and I forgot about? This keeps going until I give an answer she doesn't like and then we are back at my generation being so lazy, how the younger people just don't work as well as her generation did.

And the thing is... she never used to talk like this. She was always far left, full equality, against classism and ageism. But then the "unbiased" news changed. It stopped covering certain things the US didn't want covered. Suddenly I'm explaining to her that in Israel, people will have parties while watching the bombs drop, there are "settlers" going into Gaza and just claiming other people's land. And she says that's not true, she didn't see it on the news, she looked it up online and the major news sites never covered it once since 2014. Every time I bring up some horrible thing that's definitely happening, she just says I've become a conspiracy theorist and MY thinking is really dangerous and she's worried about me (at which point I snapped a bit and told her that actually her willful ignorance is extremely dangerous and what leads to all these atrocities getting swept under the rug. She threatened to kick me out for being so incredibly disrespectful to her).

I don't know what the point of this post is anymore. Maybe I just wanna ramble about someone I truly respected slowly becoming someone I can barely stand to hold a conversation with. Maybe it has something to do with how people are told to only trust big news organizations for real news and then they censor it so all real news looks like conspiracy theorist trash. Or maybe it just has something to do with age, some sort of thing that naturally occurs as you approach a certain age, and the only way to prevent it is to be aware it's occurring and reject its falsehoods. Or I don't know dude... I've been stuck inside for a month... I think I just needed to fucking vent to the Great Void. If you're listening, hey there Great Void, I hope you're doing better than I am.

[fanaticsnail]

Okay, I haven't read chapter 6 of Sapsorrow yet, I have a big day ahead so I know it will distract me too much and I like the incentive of something to treat myself at the end of the day, so my actual thoughts on the chapter are yet incoming

HOWEVER

Your thoughts for Buggy and/or Law having a ring have inspired me.

Ive been working on an idea for a series of interconnected one piece one shots using fairy tales (which got set back once I got COVID bc I had three days of writing planned out which ended up being three days of delirious fever sleep). And I haven't really set anything in stone yet but I have several stories that I think would work for each character and several extra stories I haven't yet decided characters for. So allow me to regurgitate some of those stories that I think could be thematically appropriate for Law/Buggy stories in the Sapsorrow AU:

Hans who made the princess laugh/The Princess who never smiled/the lad with the goat skin (there are a lot of variants of the story of a boy making the princess laugh/smile for her hand in marriage) - I was thinking of using this concept for a Koby or Luffy story, but it also really suits Buggy. If the condition placed upon marriage is him finally making his betrothed laugh it makes room for lots of hijinks that would inevitably lead to her getting to know him and fall in love.

A Thousand and One Nights - I planned this for Usopp (obviously) but I feel like Buggy managing to entertain someone with tricks and jokes so they allow him to keep wooing them the next night and so on until they agree to marry him because he's entertained them successfully for however many days and nights as was his task

Princess and the frog/beauty and the beast/Prince Lindworm esque story - hear me out, Reader as the scary beast bc Buggy's task was to prove he loved them truly for more than just superficial reasons. I feel like, thematically, I could see Buggy learning to not judge others and consequentially therefore learning not to be so harsh on himself (learning that he deserves kindness by extending kindness to others?) (And then there is the opportunity to flip the script with Buggy being the one wearing the ring and Reader being the one owning it.)

Hades and Persephone - I like how Buggy consistently fails upwards and I can definitely see the bumbling clown somehow getting lucky enough to snag the favour of someone super dangerous and powerful despite tripping over himself repeatedly. I imagine someone only ever feared might enjoy him speaking his mind bluntly. Also could have Reader owning the ring. (The comedic potential for a story of Buggy somehow failing forwards into the arms of a Morticia-esque partner. The angst/drama potential of someone learning they are not only capable but deserving of love and loving and are allowed to have some light and fun in their dark life.)

For Law I feel like his task could be something associated with him being a doctor. Either his betrothed promises to marry whoever manages to cure her loved one (or her) of a sickness/curse. Maybe his betrothed has sworn off marriage because she is sick and expects to die and doesn't want to leave anyone heart broken, which is why she objects to marrying him, which leads to a lot of secret keeping and angst on both sides.

OR, something that is the other side of the coin, his betrothed wants to kill/poison someone and needs his help. Oooooh~ dramatic crime story

SNAIL AGAIN! I should've seen this one first. My dear, you spoil me!

The way I have been struggling with Buggy's Sapsorrow. I want to write a little snippet so desperately, but he is thus far eluding me. I am LOVING these thoughts.

I do have an idea for Law, but I am wanting to write for him last due to not desiring to reveal all of the lore involving the spectre of Sapsorrow just yet. Of all of the rings to be given, I will say that Law will be the only one to offer it to someone freely: using it for its intended purpose. It is going to devastate me, but I am very much looking forward to his the most. Main theme: Angst.

NOW THAT THAT HAS BEEN SAID.

........are you saying you would like to join in on the storyteller au collab? Because if you are!!! Usopp with "a story short" and Luffy with "Fearnot" would be perfect for you: considering it sounds like you already have many a similar idea regarding them, and I would LOVE to have you involved!!!

#one piece #opla #x reader #opla fic #one piece live action #sapsorrow au #storyteller au #moot collab #ask snail #snail answers #storyteller collab

[heat--end]

beat the scarlet/violet DLC! i havent done some of the bigger postgame stuff yet, but ive beaten the main story, which is really the important part

ill leave my longer thoughts under the read more to avoid spoilers

honestly, i really like how they handled this DLC. i think part of me likes kitakami as a place more, but this is also a really nice little spot. the terarium is a cool place, the pokemon in it are cool, etc.

what i REALLY liked was the story, as well. ive talked about this with a lot of other people, but SV's main theme seems to be getting yourself too lost in your own desires, so much so that you don't realize what happens, and this continues that. ambition is a great thing, but pushed too far, it can put others at risk. i think kieran's character is fantastic in this regard. it genuinely makes sense, and it's no surprise he ends up the way he does, and his desire to look up to the player becomes warped and corrupted because he wants to be better, he wants to achieve the dreams he's seeing the player reach, etc.

it's really interesting stuff. i really, REALLY like it, honestly, and i love how they handled briar in the way, too. briar literally gets so invested and excited about terastialization research that she's putting *three children* at risk. she actively realizes this and apologizes, and i like that they highlighted this. it's a neat theme, and i think the DLC tackles it really well

like the lore and extra stuff introduced is cool, but i feel like always, the character writing shines really well here. it's nice to see a bit of old kieran peek back out, him falling into old habits, but then we see him lose himself again as SOON as a sliver of a chance for him to be better than the MC arrives. for that, i'm a huge fan, i think they did a really good job there

also, big fan of BBQs. scratches that "i want to do PLA tasks forever" itch just enough to be satisfying

the one thing i wasn't a fan of was the battle difficulty, however. now, keep in mind, after asking my friends for some help i WAS able to adjust my team and have strategies to beat them and all that, but MAN, this is WAY too drastic of a leap in difficulty compared to base game, IMO. it'd be one thing if this was optional, but this is the main story.

now, keep in mind, i don't mind if they want to make pokemon games harder. i think it's a good thing. challenge and all that. but when base SV wasnt... ANYTHING like this, it is VERY jarring for them to like, legitimately start using competitive movesets and strategies and all that, without so much as a means to prepare you for it. i feel like there's gonna be a lot of people who just get hard walled by some of the battles, and idk how i really feel about it.

i AM glad this is here, but, i don't think it shouldve been the DEFAULT. some kind of toggle or even having these be post-game battles wouldve been great. but having it be the main difficulty scaling feels really bizarre in comparison to SV's base difficulty. hell, kitakami wasn't nearly as bad as this. it's a leap that is very, VERY drastic.

(and yeah, i did get fucked up bad early on, but keep in mind this is coming from someone who first tried kieran, who is the hardest battle in the DLC. so it's not like i was just playing poorly all the time)

also stellar as a tera type is kinda just whatever i feel. idk not really as interesting as it seemed to be. it's cool lore wise, but even then it's just like... eh, neat, i guess LOL

all in all, i really liked indigo disk. it wasn't the most mindblowing thing ever, and i feel like i MAYBE liked teal mask more, but honestly, it's not by a huge margin. it was pretty good, i had a good time. i'd say it won't win over anybody who already didnt like base SV, but it's worth if you like the base game because it improves on a lot. honestly, i think i like the DLC more than i do the base game, and i already liked SV, lmao

[lollytea]

Sorry if this is hard to understand, english is not my first language

Ever since that first ask about the future hexquad Ive been thinking about what would Amity like to do in the future, and you know what Ive settled on?

I kinda feel like her passion would be being the best housewife she can be, like, it feels weird to say because girl is so strong and smart she can do anything, but what if what she wants is making sure her family is well fed and looked after?

Girl is so nurturing towards Luz and protective of Willow, she bakes Luz a pie as a welcome back gift, she reads books to kids in her free time, she is in her element when she can actively help someone (words of confort were not enough she got up and got a plan to get flowers for luz's dad in Reaching out) so if she gets a family you bet thats her top priority and joy

Like yes, i can see her working alonside Alador with inventions, and also a pro brawl fighter, and a book shop owner (all of them at the same time even) but if you ask her she goes all Izumi Curtis "im a housewife!"

And as a bonus, it also would be a very F you to Odalia who didnt value her family happiness at all to have her star daughter biggest ambition be precisely to have a happy family

Anyway thats all, cheers

The SECOND I read that this was an Amity ask and I saw the word "housewife" my immediate thought was an Izumi Curtis type. Like YEAH that's exactly it. She's one of the most powerful witches on the Isles but she is far likelier to describe herself as simply Luz's wife. It's a drastic leap from how she used to feel the need to establish herself as a talented witch, and top student, out of insecurity. But now she's matured significantly and made her journey with self esteem and self acceptance so she no longer needs to. Amity defines herself by those she loves and who love her in return.

This makes a lot of sense and I really love this take. Obviously young girls should be encouraged to be ambitious towards their future careers but there's also such a stigma around them choosing to be homemakers and mothers, especially if the girls in question are overachievers who have so many options laid out for them. Like this inherent belief that being a housewife is simply for girls who are unable to be anything else.

It's such a nice idea for a girl like Amity, who's been preened since birth for the most successful and esteemed future. She's always had such high expectations placed on her shoulders to climb the ladder and be the best of the best. So honestly, her choosing a life for herself that has nothing to do with financial success or monetizing the magical expertise that Odalia pressured her into developing is empowering as fuck. She just does what makes her happy.

Because yeah, this poor girl was starved of familial love all her life. It would totally be within her right to devote herself to building a warm, loving and stable home that she can call her own. With her wife and maybe kids too, if she chooses to have them. I feel like I can see her having them. Amity adores kids after all.

All the above examples mentioned of how Amity would be in her element with this role, but also. The beginning of Eclipse Lake where she's bustling around the Owl House with a clipboard, giving orders and making sure everyone is carrying out their tasks. Peak mom behavior. She's so organised and on top of things that I can imagine if she had kids, she'd be the fucking best at juggling their school schedules, clubs, extracurriculars, and distributing their chores equally and like. She'd run a really tight ship. Which would help a lot, since I figure Luz might struggle a bit as an adult with ADHD when it comes to keeping structure in her life and family. But this is where Amity excels! She even enjoys it! So it works out pretty well.

I do think about how Amity was raised in a mansion and probably never had to cook or clean before in her life, with the abomination servants doing everything. (I always wondered if the fairy pie is how they're SUPPOSED to look, what with the Boiling Isles being weird and all, or if its just like that because Amity can't bake.) But it's alright. She's only fourteen. She has plenty of time to learn. Luz, at the very least, has had a normal home life so Amity can definitely pick up homemaker skills from her.

And also absolutely. Really loving this idea of Amity's future revolving around caring for her loved ones but also being free to fully exercise her hobbies and passions without feeling guilty about it. She can draw and write and study abomination magic and help Alador out with his inventions when he's stumped and participate in the Bonesborough Brawl and basically just do whatever sparks joy for her.

I was initially so warped by the real world economy that I was thinking "Can she really support herself by being a homemaker?" But like?? You know what?? Amity and the other kids (who were 12-16 at the time) went to singlehandedly confront Belos while the rest of the Isle was perishing. If there's any justice in this new Boiling Isles they're gonna rebuild, then Amity will be receiving weekly financial compensation to guarantee that she will always live comfortably.

[mihai-florescu]

Hand over all your Tsumugi Headcanons asap. If you dont have anny hand over all the lore insted

Ive been in a bit of a slump creatively lately so i feel like i forgot any and all headcanons i ever had. I hoped i'd get better, i didnt, and having an unanswered asks bothers me so i'll be very boring in my reply.

Tsumugi's easy to misinterpret. He's clumsy and caring, but he also never lets any task he starts unfinished. He can be surprisingly cold, i think, because he sees himself as unaffected by what's happening around him.

Backstory wise, we know his mom falls prey easily to scam organizations (i believe it was mentioned theyre religious in nature, but i have to double check, it was definitely in Element). This lead to her losing money, a divorce, having to close the dance school she had where Tsumugi and Natsume met as kids. Tsumugi has an older brother who is distant from the family, presumably because of his mom's actions.

Despite all of this drama, Tsumugi doesn't resent his family. It was also a miscalculation on Eichi's part when he assumed Tsumugi was his friend cuz he wanted money to distance himself from his mom. Which was never the case. I personally would love more Tsumugi family lore, i want to meet his brother in the future, but alas, this is what we know so far.

When you think of the war, you condemn Eichi and Keito, but overlook that Tsumugi was just as much involved in scheming as the rest. He didnt start the war, but he was invested in seeing the plan finished, even after he got cast aside, he never neglected his duties down to the burning of the documents. He admits multiple times he sees what they did as a necessary action and never regrets it. But because he believed so much in Eichi and didn't want to acknowledge that it was a contract based friendship, you can't help but feel bad for Tsumugi. You're more willing to forgive him and pretend he was just manipulated by Eichi. Even Madara seems to have fallen for this and to be on good terms with Tsumugi now despite the animosity he holds towards the people who actively participated in the war.

Tsumugi adapts easily. It's part of his objective "i dont feel pain" persona he puts up. The main role he plays is that of bluebird of happiness, at first for Eichi, then for everyone else as a way to make up for the pain they've caused in the war. And this just makes him seem trustworthy and pleasant to talk to, it's why he has so many connections. He also seems to know a lot of secrets because of this persona. The younger characters see him as a caring older brother, but the rest just see him as inoffensive. Rei in particular is known to just. Share random secrets about other characters with Tsumugi.

Idk if anything im saying really matters, let's go in speculation territory. I cannot provide answers in the form of headcanons as requested, but i can provide questions. Im very curious how the story wouldve progressed if Tsumugi had been part of Valkyrie instead of Fine. Cuz we know he was in the handicrafts club, he stopped attending cuz it became more of a Valkyrie hangout spot, we know he adapts easily if he believes in a cause; i think he couldve followed Shu's demands if he could get himself to care for their artistic goals. And I really dont think the war wouldve been won by the student council if this had been the case. Shu and Natsume would also not have been part of the oddballs. Idk im not really going anywhere with this train of thought, im just saying Tsumugi was essential to the war and the narrative to progress as it did.

#ask #anon #enstars

[auxiliarydetective]

Love and War, Chapter 7

Keep You Warm at Night

i. | ii. | iii. | iv. | v. | vi. | vii. | viii. | ix. | x. | xi. | xii. | xiii.

AO3

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After her wound was taken care of, Anita’s day continued like the day before. She once again made breakfast and the men came and ate. Don was just a little devastated when he saw her wound, but the others made joking remarks over her “souvenir”. This was not the first time they had seen a wound and definitely far from the worst. Still, they sounded genuine. This was their way of caring. Maybe, Anita thought, this was better than fussing over every drop of blood. It had to be, otherwise they wouldn’t have come this far. Somehow, she found it silly: Others got wounded by guns or shrapnel, she had been attacked by a tree. Somewhat underwhelming. But, then again, she was no soldier. Considering she was supposed to stay away from combat situations, this was already more than she was meant to get. On one hand, she had pride in her wound. Yes, she had been to the frontline, and she had the wound, probably the future scar to prove it. But on the other hand, she hoped it would heal quickly and invisibly.

After breakfast, multiple soldiers came to Anita, needing their clothes mended. Either Lipton or the soldier she had helped yesterday must have gotten the word out. She welcomed the work with open arms, along with the new acquaintances that came with them. As she mended holes in coats, gloves and other items, the soldiers talked to her. Most asked about the wound on her cheek and showed their sympathy, some attempted to flirt with her, all of them were friendly, though a good portion was very confused about why she was there. Anita took this with a calm state of mind. To be honest, she was sick of hearing – if indirect – comments on how she shouldn’t be here because she was a woman. That was what those soldiers meant, even though they never said it like that. It was always “What’s a woman like you doing here?” “I haven’t seen a woman in months.” “I didn’t know they sent women to Belgium.” Who did they think sorted their mail, took care of their supplies, made sure they got their orders delivered? WACs. It was women who were working behind the scenes, making sure everything went right. Just because they usually weren’t this close to the battlefield, it didn’t mean they weren’t there. Besides, they should be glad she was here, and they were, it seemed. Who else would mend their clothes?

Anita was just finishing up cleaning her pot after lunch when First Sergeant Lipton approached her again.

“Sergeant?”

“First Sergeant Lipton," Anita said cheerily. “How can I help you?”

“Captain Winters wants you to come to his hut," Lipton explained. “Colonel Sink is here.”

“Colonel Sink?” Anita echoed. “Well, I’d better not keep him waiting.”

Quickly, she finished up her task, then headed off, through the snow, through the trees. So, he was here. Had he been looking for her? Had anyone been looking for her? What would happen to her now?

When she reached the hut, Captain Winters, Captain Nixon and Colonel Sink were there, drinking coffee. It was now that Anita realized she was nervous. But why? She had spent a lot of time around Colonel Sink back at HQ in Bastogne, so why should she be nervous now?

“Sergeant!” Colonel Sink called, spotting her before she had even entered.

“Sir," Anita said and saluted. “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, I had some work I needed to finish up.”

“Did you know you were presumed dead?” Colonel sink mentioned, eyeing Anita critically.

“No, sir," she replied, starting to feel a little weak.

“I assumed you were among the rest of your squad, buried beneath the rubble of headquarters. But they didn’t find your body. Come to find out you were here with Easy Company, making social calls.”

To this, Anita said nothing. She wanted to protest, but Colonel Sink was probably already upset to begin with. When she stayed silent, he continued:

“General Patton and the 3rd Army broke through enemy lines this morning. They cleared a way through Bastogne. This will allow supplies to flow in and people to be evacuated, including you.”

“Sorry, sir, evacuated?” Anita blurted out. “Why would I need to be evacuated?”

“So you can go back to the States and be reassigned.”

“I’d like to stay.”

Others may call what Anita was doing confident, standing up to a Colonel. But truth be told, she wasn’t thinking at all. There was no conscious decision of standing up to him. It had been pure instinct. The instinct to not have what she had now taken away from her.

“We have no more headquarters for you to stay at.”

“I meant with Easy Company, sir.”

“Easy Company is a fighting troop, not a company of WACs," Colonel Sink said indignantly.

“I know, sir, but this is what I was trained for," Anita insisted. “To accompany troops and take over jobs from them so that they can focus on fighting. To assist them.”

“You would be far too close to enemy lines, the danger of which you’re obviously already aware of," Sink commented, pointing at his cheek and hers.

“That wound wouldn’t stop a soldier, so I won’t let it stop me either. Besides, this is precisely what they prepared me for in Iowa.”

“If I may say something, sir," Captain Winters threw in. His voice sounded calm, soothing even. “Sergeant Reed has been a great help to Easy Company for the time she has been here. I’ve had Captain Nixon and First Sergeant Lipton keep an eye on her and report to me. She's been helping the company in many ways, including medically. But what she has had the most impact on is morale and if there is one thing we need, sir, it’s morale. The reports I’ve received from Easy Company’s NCOs and officers say that Sergeant Reed’s presence has given the men new motivation and new energy to keep fighting. Add to that the help that she's been, we’ve agreed that we would like her to stay.”

Colonel Sink stayed quiet for a while. He looked at Captain Winters, then at Captain Nixon, then at Anita. It took her a lot of effort not to grin like a kid on Christmas day. Winters wanted her to stay. Nixon wanted her to stay. It may have helped that Anita was friends with many of the NCOs in Easy Company but that they trusted her enough to stay filled her with even more pride. She knew they wanted to protect her, so hearing that they thought she could make it was wonderful.

“I don’t give out single soldiers as pets," Colonel Sink finally grumbled.

“She’s the only one of her squad left, sir," Nixon said, “and that squad was already planned to accompany the regiment, if I’m not mistaken. It would be more trouble reassigning her than going through with the original assignment.”

Colonel Sink sighed heavily and eyed Nixon. Then, he mustered Anita with sharp eyes as if he was planning to throw his coffee in her face.

“Fine," he barked. Then he turned back to Winters. “But she’s your responsibility. Whatever you do with her, it’s only up to you. If you find yourself stuck with a child in a few days, don’t come to me to complain.”

With that, Colonel Sink left. Anita watched him head to his jeep, climb on and drive away. Then, she looked at Captain Winters and Captain Nixon with large eyes.

“Thank you," she gasped. “Thank you for believing in me. I won’t let you down.”

“I hope so," Captain Winters said. “You’ll be staying with Easy Company and answering to the company’s officers.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And, Sergeant, one condition.”

“Yes?”

“Stay away from combat situations. You’re not touching any guns or mortars.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Alright, get back to work.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Anita saluted proudly, then left. As she headed back to Easy Company’s position, her heart jumped out of her chest and she was beaming. She got to stay! The best part of it wasn’t that she was close to the frontlines like she had always wanted, it was who she was there with. Finally, she didn’t have to be separated from her friends. She could stand by them, directly support them, be there for them and maybe, yes maybe, this was about them being there for her, too. Really, what she wanted was to be close to them. She felt like she couldn’t bear leaving them again. That time in Aldbourne had been the last time.

When she reached the foxhole currently shared by Don and Luz, she put on her best poker face and swallowed down her excitement.

“Hey, fellas," she said and squatted down behind the foxhole. “I have bad news.”

They looked up at her and scooted apart to make space for her.

“We’re already in icy hell, how bad can it be?" Luz said. “Come on down.”

Anita slid into the foxhole. This act was getting hard to keep up.

“You’re stuck with me now," she said. A smile already started to curl her lips. “I got reassigned to Easy.”

Immediately, she felt the light smack of Luz’s hand on the back of her helmet.

“Shut up," Don gasped. “They’re letting you stay with us?”

“Our pet wacko," Luz chuckled. “Never thought it would actually happen but here we are.”

At dinner, Anita sat together with Bull, Muck, Penkala, Guarnere, Liebgott, Luz and Don and formally announced the good news. This gained her a mix of confused looks but all of them cheered.

“How did you convince Colonel Sink?” Penkala asked.

“I didn’t," Anita explained. “Captain Winters and Captain Nixon did. Apparently, my work isn’t half bad and I’m good for morale.”

“Sure, you’re good for morale," Muck said. “We haven’t seen a woman since leaving Aldbourne, who wouldn’t be happy seeing one around? Especially one as pretty as you.”

Liebgott smirked. “See, there you have your confirmation again. Time to stop worrying about your looks.”

“What, you had doubts?” Guarnere asked. “I thought I’d made myself clear: You’re to die for.”

“Oh, right, I forgot to tell you," Liebgott said, a boyish smile on his lips. “When she got that splinter, the first thing she asked me was ‘I’m still beautiful, right?’ No kiddin’!”

“Anita," Luz sighed dramatically. “Joe and Bill are right, you really gotta stop worrying about your looks. Don’s gonna take you either way.”

“I’m just gonna ignore your teasing, just this once," Don said, “because you’re right.”

“Yeah, that scratch ain’t got nothin’ on ya," Guarnere declared.

Anita rolled her eyes. “Alright, listen. First of all, it wasn’t the first thing I said. And second, the only reason I was so worried about my looks was because getting disfigured would be bad for business.”

“Business? What are ya, a hooker?”

“Shush, Guarnere. I’ve been paid to meet up with people – shut up – but not like that. I swear. No.”

“Well, now you’ve gotta spit it out," Liebgott insisted. “Either that or I’ll keep teasing you with the splinter incident and with what you said just now. Paid meetups, huh?”

Anita sighed heavily. This was a risk, but… she could hardly keep it a secret from them anymore. In fact, she had already kept it from them for too long. Before the war, this had been something she had been proud of, her identity, her life. It had already been a little risky at home, but in the army…

“Alright," she said curtly. “But it has to stay a secret. Bull, you promise to smack anyone who says something?”

“Sure, count on me.”

“Good, because I could be discharged over this. You say nothing and not a thing about the paid meetups either. You know damn well what that sounds like. Nobody outside this circle gets to know.”

“Say it, Annie," Don said. “Can’t believe I’ve known you for this long and you never told me what you did before the war.”

“Fine.” Anita leaned into the circle and her friends mimicked her, grins and interested gazes throughout. “Before the war… I was a burlesque dancer.”

Various whistles, oohs and ahs travelled through the group, along with grins and laughter. It made Anita feel warm and fuzzy inside. To see her friends this careless, even if just for a moment. It was just like in the pub back in Aldbourne.

“Finally, the secret’s out," Luz said smugly. “Took you long enough. I’ve been biting my tongue over it for a year now.”

“And now you finally get to make comments about it. Isn’t that fun?”

“Luz, you knew?” Muck asked.

“Yeah, I had my sources," Luz murmured, looking at Anita for approval.

“Say it," she sighed. “I’m tired of keeping it a secret either way.”

“Well, I saw her in a magazine. A pinup.”

Again, the same whistles, oohs and ahs. The grins on her friends’ faces were pure gold.

“Any chance you still have it?” Guarnere asked, jabbing Luz in the side.

“Sobel confiscated it way back at Toccoa," Luz admitted.

Immediately, a cold shower ran across Anita’s back.

“Wait- That means- That means Sobel could’ve seen- “

“Sobel doesn’t know you," Bull quickly cut in. “You’re safe. If he even looked through it. I don’t take him for the kind of guy.”

“Any chance we get to see you perform?” Penkala asked. “Since, y’know, we’re your friends and all. How about a little private performance?”

“As much as I like you guys, no. It’s not that I’m ashamed, that’s the least of my problems, but I can’t risk getting discharged over it. But once this is all over, why don’t you come see me in Arizona? Then you’ll get to see it on a proper stage, with lights, a nice costume, music… Way better than what I could offer you on the fly.”

“What’s it like, burlesque?” Don asked.

“Yeah, what do we gotta expect?” Liebgott asked. “I’ve never been to a burlesque show. You sure you can’t give us a little taste?”

“It’s a moving pinup, Joe," Guarnere said.

That was when a hint of mischief overcame Anita. Luz must have rubbed off on her.

“You know," she said, “why don’t you imagine it? I’m sure it’ll keep you warm at night.”

With that, she left, enjoying the chaos her last statement had caused behind.

#band of brothers #band of brothers oc #oc: anita reed #fanfiction

[kaibaspuppy]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT SAVED IN DRAFTS HOW THE FUCK.

I THOUGHT THIS POST WAS LOST TO THE VOID HOLY SHIT. anyways its time for the history AND lore of my beloved sonic oc, skylar the hedgehog. ft bad sketches that ive already posted.

shes my longest lasting sonic oc, with origins as sonics beloved sister in a roblox roleplaying game. over time she developed, at first through extensive Autistic Child Thoughts, then through roleplays (still on roblox). when i stopped playing roblox i totally forgot about her, but a while back i remembered her existance and gave her new life. i wont be talking about her lore as sonics sister savannah, because shes so far gone from that its hard to tell theyre the same.

her mega old lore:

skylar was a member of what was basically a magical girl duo (trio?) of sisters, all members of which represented a music genre. im fairly sure skylar was the pop-themed girlie. there was also a rockstar who i forgot most of the lore abt. and MAYBE there was a pink one but i have no idea what genre she cldve represented! anyways this was where skylar first got her telekinetic powers, she didnt have them as savannah. this version of sky could be considered classic sky.

her old lore:

born to powers she didnt really understand, skylar was the daughter of a renowned scientist who was studying strange crystals she found. but the crystals had been infused with corrosive dark mana, and skylars mother went insane from prolonged exposure, going on a skilling spree and eventually being shot to death by g.u.n. soldiers. the crystals were gone however, scattered throughout the realm. she was raised by her father, who tried to teach her how to use her telekinetic powers, but he was eventually captured by robotic when he seized their home city. when evil forces becomes aware of the crystals, dubbed the 'demon crystals', skylar must find them before he unleashed their corruptive power and destroys the world as she knows it.

this version of skylar is quite similar to the modern rendition, just with a bit stranger story. shes 15 and she had a boyfriend in the rps i did. at one point she got like fuckin posessed??? she was like a protoblorbo i loved her so much. a bit of her lore revolved around the rp game i played, which was like...crossover sonic rpg i think? i loved to fuck arnd in there

her current lore:

skylar remembers very little about her childhood, her memories scattered and blurry. her mother azula was a military scientist tasked with creating a perfect weapon. she somehow uncovered crystals infused with a dark energy, and eventually the power consumed her making her go mad. azula was locked away in a g.u.n. facility for a long time, and skylar was raised by her father colbalt. when she was 18 robotnik took over her city, and 'inducted her father into his ranks'. azula eventually broke out of of the g.u.n. facility and joined robotniks ranks, searching for her weapon so they could jointly rule the world. skylar joins up with team dark to search for the crystals, which she believes her mother is hellbent on looking for, all while g.u.n. and robotnik + azula are after her.

she doesnt know that she is the weapon.

this is her current iteration and i love her lore soooo much. yeah her father got roboticized. its a little awkward when azula and colbalt run into each other in the halls. ANYWAYS shes a lebsian and rouge is her crush (and later hee girlfriend) because i said so! she also probably gets mistaken for sonic a lot, being a blue hedgehog with greenish eyes. she looks a lot more like sonic than any of the other s-name hedgehog boys.

anyways do you love her y/n

#jack talks #infodump #ocs #sonic tag

[uncloseted]

Do you have any advice for like organizing your life? Idk when it started but ive just been in this state of mind where I feel perpetually behind and in like chaos. I thought I had ADHD because I can never finish anything (if i can even get to the point where i start things) and i forget everything i have to do and i felt like i had a lot of the symptoms but maybe just on a milder scale, but i dont know if its something else mentally or i just dont know how to be properly organized. ):

Yes! I have so much advice. As someone who got through an entire Master's degree with untreated ADHD, I've had to get really familiar with organizational systems and other ways to trick my brain into doing what I need it to do. Whatever the cause of your executive dysfunction, I've got you covered 😂

TL;DR

Set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound goals for yourself (SMART). Evaluate them and readjust if they're not working.

Make a big list of your tasks, and sort them into four groups: "Important & Urgent", "Important but Not Urgent", "Unimportant but Urgent", and "Unimportant and Not Urgent".

Find a technology that helps you keep track of everything, whether it's a productivity app like Notion, setting automated reminders, Google Calendar, or a notebook.

Figure out what's stopping you from getting started. Are you overwhelmed? Afraid of failing? Just bored?

Anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Just show up or just get started. A minute of work is better than not doing anything, so tell yourself you'll just get started and then you can quit. Doing things half-assed is better than not doing them at all.

Break down every task you have to do into very small details and check them off as you go along.

"Temptation bundle" tasks you need to do by pairing them with things you enjoy doing.

Try focusing on just one task for 25 minutes straight, taking a 5 minute break, and then focusing for 25 minutes straight again.

Do things how you'll get them done. It doesn't matter how you "should" do them. It's okay if you get things done out of order, or if you stop one task and come back to it later.

Try making tasks fun, interesting, novel, or cute to encourage yourself to do them. Or turn tasks into games.

Ask for help when you need it. It's okay to rely on other people.

It's not cheating to make things easier for yourself. Remove any obstacles or friction between you and the thing you want to get done so that the thing you want to get done is also the easiest path.

Setting The Right Goals

Before you even start trying to get things done, you need to know what needs to get done. A lot of the time, we intuitively feel like we know what needs to get done, but for people who struggle with executive dysfunction, we're prone to forgetting. For big goals, I like the WOOP and SMART(ER) methods.

WOOP and SMART(ER) goals

SMART(ER) is a tool to help you set the right goals for you.  Too often, we set goals like “I’m going to start exercising” or “I’m going to quit going on my phone”.  Those are great in theory, but without an action plan, it’s easy to not follow through.

SMARTER goals are ones that are:

Specific (simple, sensible, significant).

If your goal isn’t specific, you won’t be able to focus your efforts or feel motivated to achieve it.

Try to answer: what do I want to accomplish? Why is this goal important? Who is involved? Where is it located? Which resources or limits are involved?

Measurable (meaningful, motivating).

Having measurable goals is important because it allows you to track your progress and stay motivated by seeing how far you’ve come.

A measurable goal should be one that answers “how much”, “how many” and “how will I know when it’s accomplished”?

Achievable (agreed, attainable).

Your goal needs to be realistic in order for you to stay motivated and be successful. If you’re aiming too high, you’ll become demotivated quickly because it doesn’t feel like you’re making progress.

An achievable goal requires you to ask “how can I accomplish this goal” and “how realistic is this goal based on other constraints?”

Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based).

Relevant goals are ones that matter to you. Make sure that these goals are ones that are important to you, not ones that you think you should be pursuing.

A relevant goal is one that can answer “yes” to the following questions: “does this seem worthwhile?”, “is this the right time?”, “does this match my other efforts/needs?”, “is it applicable in my current socio-economic environment?”

Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive).

Every goal needs a target date so that you have a deadline you can focus on and work toward.

A time sensitive goal is one that answers “when?”, “what can I do six months from now?”, “what can I do six weeks from now?”, and “what can I do today?”

Evaluate

Every day, evaluate how you’re doing on your goals. Long term goals can be easily ignored if they’re not evaluated every day, and if you don’t evaluate how you’re doing on your goals regularly, you might miss the things that are preventing you from achieving them.

Readjust

If you find that your approach isn’t working, you may need to readjust your goals. That doesn’t mean that you’re failing at your goals or that you should quit; it just means you have to rethink the approach you’re taking. Maybe the goal isn’t as relevant to you as you thought it would be, or it’s not as realistic as you expected, or your timeline is too short. Identify which part of your SMARTER goal is tripping you up and readjust it.

The best goals are ones that include trying new things instead of quitting old ones.  Quitting things is hard; learning something new is easier and more exciting.  If you’re looking to quit something, replace it by establishing a new habit that takes its place.  For example, “I’m going to stop going on my phone,” is hard, but “when I feel like going on my phone, I’ll read a book for ten minutes instead” might be easier to maintain.

After you’ve figured out your SMARTER goal, it’s time to WOOP.  WOOP is something like the scientifically proven cousin of “manifesting”.  Just visualizing our goals or positive thinking on its own can be counterproductive, because it fools our lizard brains into believing that we’ve already achieved the goal.  By using the WOOP method, you can prevent that from happening and actually achieve what you want to achieve.

WOOP stands for:

Wish: Identify a wish that is challenging, yet attainable. This should be your SMARTER goal.

Outcome: Imagine the best outcome as a result of your wish (as vividly as possible). Really daydream about what your life would be like if you achieved your goal.

Ask yourself, what is the biggest benefit you could receive from achieving this goal?

Obstacle: Identify and imagine what obstacles will get in the way of your wish.

What might get in the way? Thoughts, feelings, beliefs, old behavior patterns, bad habits, social pressure… identify as many as you can, then prioritize their likely they are to happen and how significant they would be if they did happen.

Plan: Create an if-then plan to overcome the obstacles you identified- “if [obstacle occurs] then I will [plan A].” Do your best to pick the most effective path you can for each obstacle, and identify a few different plans in case your first plan doesn’t work.

For example, if you wanted to start exercising, your WOOP might look like this:

Wish: Go on a run 3x/week after school/work for a month.

Outcome: Better energy, confidence, and health.

Obstacle: Feeling tired and hungry at the end of the day…Not wanting to go.

Plan: Pack a snack for the end of the day, and put on gym clothes right when you get home.

Or if you wanted to stop watching TV and read more:

Wish: Watch only 5 episodes of TV per week, and read when I feel the urge to watch TV for a month.

Outcome: Learn a lot. Get smarter. Feel better. Enjoy the great ideas. Feel like I’m spending my time wisely.

Obstacle: Not feeling like it. Preferring to watch TV.

P: If I catch myself watching TV, then I turn it off and start reading a book instead.

Smaller Tasks

For smaller tasks, I use a method called 4 Quadrants. I make a big list of everything I can think of that I want to do or need to do. Then, I sort those tasks into four categories: "Important & Urgent", "Important but Not Urgent", "Unimportant but Urgent", and "Unimportant and Not Urgent". Doing this helps me to prioritize the things that need my attention right away without forgetting smaller tasks that I would like to get done at some point. If you can, also estimate how long you think each task will take.

The technology you use to actually keep track of everything will depend on what kind of person you are. The only thing that works for me is Notion. I think I like it because it's cute, flexible, and it syncs across all of my devices. Other people use the Notes app in their phone, have a Google Doc, use another productivity app, or just carry around a notebook/planner with them everywhere they go. You might have to try a few different options before finding what works for you.

Another thing that may help is setting reminders on your phone. Some people really like this method and other people really dislike this method, so YMMV, but it's worth trying. On the less intense end, you can put your tasks in a calendar and assign each task a specific block of time. This can be helpful because your brain can go on auto-pilot and just move from one task to the next. On the more intense end, you can also use your phone to remind you of tasks when you're in specific locations- for example, if you're by the library, it will remind you to return your books, or if you're by the grocery store, it will remind you that you're out of milk.

Actually Doing The Task

Now you know what you need to get done, but you still have to actually do the thing. Brains that struggle with executive dysfunction tend to struggle with starting tasks, even when they know they need to do something and want to do it. There are a few methods that help with this:

What's Stopping You?

First, see if there's anything that's holding you back from doing the task. It can help to ask yourself the following types of questions: Are you missing the materials you need to work on the task? Are you afraid that if you start, you'll do the task badly? Are you unsure of what the task entails or where to start with the task? Does the task feel overwhelming? Is the task boring? Knowing what's holding you back can help you find a workaround.

If what's stopping you is that you're missing the materials you need to work on the task, try making a list of everything you need and where you can get them. Then, you can just grab everything you need and start working.

If you're afraid that you'll do the task badly, try to remind yourself that everything that's worth getting done is worth doing badly. Doing something is better than doing nothing. It can also be helpful to remember that this version of the task doesn't need to be the final version. You can always go back and make edits to improve the final product. But you can't make the final product better if you never start.

If you feel overwhelmed with the task or are unsure of where to start, trying writing out each step of the task in stupidly small detail. For example: "Open laptop. Open Firefox. Open Google Docs. Create new document. Write name at top of document." Then, just do the first step of the task. It seems silly, but breaking tasks down into small, achievable steps can make it feel less overwhelming. If you like check lists, you can put a check box next to each step and check them off as you go. This is nice because it helps you to feel like you're making progress. If there are any steps you're unclear on, make a plan for how you're going to clarify those steps- talking to someone who's done the task before, researching the task online, etc. If you want, you can make this more fun by pretending you're filming a tutorial or pretending that you're a Sim.

If the task is boring, try "temptation bundling". This is where you take something you don't want to do (the task) and pair it with something you like to do (listening to music, watching TV, etc). For example, you may be more likely to exercise if you only watch your favorite TV show while you're at the gym. Doing this helps to make the task less boring and it helps us to want to do the task.

If your brain just kind of feels paralyzed, tell yourself that you're only going to do the task for a small amount of time (30 seconds, a minute, 5 minutes, whatever you think you can handle). If you still don't want to do the task after that time period is up, you can quit. This trick tends to help our brains break out of "task paralysis", where we just can't initiate a new task. Usually, after that time has passed, our brains realize that the task isn't actually that bad, and we can keep going until it gets finished.

In a similar vein, the Pomodoro method works for a lot of people who struggle with executive dysfunction (although not all- again, some people really like it and others really dislike it). With this method, you focus really hard on only one task for 25 minutes (or however long you can focus for) at a time and then take a 5 minute break. This tends to work because our brains can only concentrate for so long, and 25 minutes feels like a manageable amount of time to work on a task.

Some Miscellaneous Advice

In no particular order, here are some other things that have helped me get things done despite the fact that my brain is a chaos muppet:

Junebugging. This is a strategy where you jump from task to task until everything gets done. So maybe I'll start by wanting to make my bed. But then I'll notice that next to my bed is my nightstand, and there's an empty wrapper on it. So I'll put the wrapper in the trash, and realize the trash needs to be taken out. So I'll put on my shoes and take the trash out, and when I get back in, I'll take off my shoes and want to put on my slippers. I'll go get my slippers in my room and see that my bed needs to get made, so I'll go make the bed. It's perhaps not the most efficient method of getting things done, but my brain was never going to be able to take the most efficient route. This way, the wrapper gets taken off the nightstand, the trash gets taken out, I get my slippers, and the bed gets made. This method is just about getting stuff done, even if it's not necessarily what you set out to do.

Do it how you'll get it done. Kind of going along with junebugging, it's important for people who struggle with executive dysfunction to let go of the way that things "should" get done. Our brains usually aren't going to do things the way they "should" do them, and so it's better to work with our brains instead of against them. If brushing your teeth in the shower is the way your teeth are going to get brushed, who cares if you're not brushing your teeth at the sink. Find the strategies that work for you and run with them, regardless of what other people do.

Keep items where you use them, and buy multiples if you need to. I have a water bottle, a trash can, and cleaning wipes in every part of my house where I regularly sit, because that's where I'll be when I want to use them. Putting things where they're used reduces the "friction" of the task- instead of having to get up, go get the item, and then use it, you just have to use it.

Build good habits if you can. Habits can be hard to form for people with executive dysfunction, but there's really helpful once they're solidified. For a few weeks, I kept repeating to myself "don't put it down, put it away" any time I had an item in my hand. Now I habitually put things away, and I lose items much less frequently. Another habit that's really helped me is cleaning up one thing every time I leave a room- so maybe I'll put something in the trash can, or take something with me from the room I'm in to the room it's supposed to be in. This has helped me to keep things much tidier than they used to be.

Make things novel, interesting, or fun. When in doubt, a good way to get our brains to do something is to try and make it fun. Hate brushing your teeth? Buy a cute toothbrush and a novelty toothpaste flavor, put on some music, brush with your opposite hand, and see how many squats you can do before the song ends. It might look ridiculous, but if it gets you to brush your teeth, it's worth it. On the simpler side, changing up how my Notion dashboard looks keeps me excited to use it because it feels new, so I try to give it a new vibe every few months. You can even turn tasks into games- how many dishes can you wash before the microwave beeps? Now it's interesting and fun instead of something you're obligated to do.

Ask for help when you need it. It's okay to rely on other people to keep you going. For example, try having a friend sit on FaceTime with you while you're doing the task. This is called "body doubling" and it's really helpful for getting things done, even if the person isn't helping you with the task.

There's also some great advice here that I recommend checking out, not just for ADHD and executive dysfunction but also for people who struggle with anxiety and depression.

[phoenix-knight]

Rest?

ive been running on fumes since January. Uni's sucking my blood. i really pushed it this semester, but why do i feel like nothing actually went right? i did a hundred things while still feeling as if not one of them were done justice. I've been running no stop like a fucking wild ass race horse and it still seems like I have achieved nothing. today I used my parents as an excuse to get out of dance practice, and I still fucking feel guilty as if I haven't been busting my ass off for the dance contingent despite everything. i have powered through everything the dance contingent threw at me despite the breakdowns, and the bone deep tiredness and the absolute fucking idk fuck what else do I have to do for people I just don't get it for everything these people do, its like the criticism is there for every single time, as if people are not allowed to have a life outside of the dance contingent. and why the fuck is everything under the radar like just because others who live far don't leave early like me doesn't me my commitment to the contingent has in any way wavered. does being in a contingent mean that you're supposed to sacrifice your soul for it? does your integrity have to be questioned every fucking time. and fuck everytime I feel like I am being scrutinized I feel so fucking triggered I swear, the same thing again and again, having to prove that I am doing, being, enough and right. i don't know why I get so fucking defensive, maybe because I really fucking love dance and I don't want my contingent members to think that I do not contribute enough or care enough or do enough or sacrifice enough?? but how much is ever enough? i hate feeling scrutinized and feeling like I have to prove myself and justify my existence. despite their good intentions, their words bother me. because I did not want to be told that my contribution were not up to the mark, especially when I really fucking gave my all and struggled through it all. the mental breakdown on the bus returning is still vivid in my memory, struggling to manage my emotions, trying not to let people know that I am crying and gasping for breath. i don't know why I get insecure, maybe its because I really do fucking care a lot about dance, so I care about my perception as a dancer. i realize this has really been stressing me out. one thought keeps springing into my mind, that I don't want to come to hate dance, or the idea of dance, don't want to think of it as a burden, just because of my experiences within the contingent. apart from that, I am just so physically tired all the time, all my energy goes into last minute projects which were obviously half-assed in my delirious zombie state. too sleepy but not able to because of the deadlines over my head. flmk I pulled through on those research papers but they were not of the quality I wanted them to be. i wanted to submit them as research papers to journals later, but it didn't turn out that way. now I can't work on improving them anytime soon so that they have a chance of getting published. i don't know what I am doing. but somehow not doing anything is more torturous. doing "nothing" or "resting" doesn't feel like rest at all. no matter how many shows or anime I watch it all seems mind numbing and they all blur together. an endless stream of info and video I consume in order to take my mind off things. every hour i feel like i am missing out on something, some important work or pending stuff i am neglecting. that's why i feel like even if i rest I'm really not resting at all. the only time i am resting is when i sleep, apart from the fact that i get pretty weird dreams i am so tired feel like every minute is wasted because I didn't do something or finish some task. that I am half assign a hundred things instead doing a few things well. like I am missing something important, but I don't know what it is or where to start because there's always the next deadline or exam to focus on immediately I don't remember what my plan was to finish in advance this semester. i fear I will be left behind because I am burnt out like this

i fear i will be graded low and only enough to scrape through the sem instead of actually testing myself as I had planned to. to see how much I could score with some real effort. if I really could do this law thing, and whether I understand it. nothing has gone exactly according to plan mostly because of dance contingent practices, my burnout, exams, projects, quizzes, deadlines, performances and competitions. man. that is a LOT. i am surprised my head is still more or less above water. i may have to leave the contingent next sem because I cannot afford to compromise on my career just to show more commitment to the dance contingent I cannot be preoccupied and I wanna figure out which direction I am headed. i don't want to hate dance because of my tiredness through the dance contingent practices. i want to organize my studies better, but I am just so discouraged because of this feeling in my chest that nothing is going right, that I can't do anything right or I will not be more than these limitations of mine. my head's killing me with anxiety and rest time does not bring me any relief . idk

#actually mentally ill #positive mental attitude #mental health #mental illness

[girlucifer]

NO NOT LUCIFER'S HUMAN WORLD OUTFIT FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING ARC NO

#lesson 41 spoilers i guess: yeah no. id rather them kidnap me than babysit them in their little Human Outfits #the only ones bearable is asmos and beels. diavolos' is god tier though although ive yet to see him in game #but yeah no lucifer you look like that librarian that yelled at me when iwas 13 leave me alone #the turtle neck is on thin ice. the glasses have got to fucking go #doodles #🦈 #YES IM SPAMMING TODAY SORRY <3 #i have a lot of thoughts because ive been getting far in the tasks. i was on lesson like 35 just like. less than a week ago #now im midway level 41! stuck on a purple battle because stupid fucking #belphegor is paralyzing my ass every chance he gets