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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years

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Episode 6- “No matter what I throw to the wall, it won’t erase whatever writing is currently there”-Nick

SOMEHOW. .. I escaped rocks! and the whole hufflepuff alliance did too! I'm really sad about Jess going because I ADORE her but... ugh. Part of me is very glad that Owen is still in the game because I feel like maybe I can salvage my relationship I had with him and we can sneakily work together without the rest of my alliance getting wind of it. I just hope that hufflepuff doesn't have to worry about going to tribal again anytime until the merge. That was... WOW.

I have crazy news all you cool cat and kittens! https://media.giphy.com/media/RGixkYkOKdWATSReHt/giphy.gif

Tribal happened and instead of it being between me and Max as I had anticipated the Hufflepuffs voted for Owen. That's... a twist!! Anyway, since they are a bunch of phonies who lie I stuck my vote against Max and everyone else stuck with theirs letting rocks decide

https://media1.tenor.com/images/422ca011d526025e11c9eaf90a3edf59/tenor.gif?itemid=11361132

This is kinda funny since we were joking about letting fate decide the vote prior to the crazy round. Also, I think Jess scored the lowest on the immunity challenge so it's like we voted off our weak link even though she didn't even do that much worse and it's a terrible way to look at things since she was such a good ally. Anyway, hoping immunity is something that we can win so that we don't suffer another tribal council because I'm pretty confident that they won't take a swing at Owen again just yet.

I LOVE how my business is getting spread from person to person LOL. This is like the game of telephone that just keeps going. I WAS MAD AT OWEN FOR TELLING PEOPLE I WAS IN AN ALLIANCE! WHICH I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE. somehow it has now gotten turned to me telling owen how i felt about max LOL. Yes, I did tell Owen that i usually just talk to max in the OG Hufflepuff chat but NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO KEEP OUTING MY ALLIANCE TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD now chips is wanting tea and i gave him some but i'm trying to without admitting the hufflepuff alliance chat that everyone already knows about now anyway. WHY IS MY DRAMA THE CENTER OF ATTENTION ON THIS TRIBE CAN'T SOMEONE ELSE RUN THEIR MOUTH NOW SO PEOPLE CAN TURN THEIR ATTENTION TO SOMEONE NEW??? but okay I think Owen and I are good now but I still trust Lily above EVERYONE else in this game.

Hm... so Landen told me that he was planning on giving more information before the revote and the rock draw.. but unfortunately he wasn't there to share. I find out that Owen already communicated to him that Max and myself are the expendable bottom two of our tribe and that just kinda... syncs up with what I said earlier about Owen. Here I was thinking we had turned over a leaf. I'm going to give him another chance with me. And not judge him based on what somebody else said (and could have been lying about) that he said. But if the shoe fits. https://media1.tenor.com/images/a19f8b641e24d8c212ba0b3913af45ca/tenor.gif?itemid=11553933

THIS IS MY CONFESSIONAL FOR LAST ROUND DONT GIVE ME A STRIKE PLZZZZZ ok really quickly basically the last vote was on raffy bc he tried to get the vote on jacob or jules (not me thank goodness) and he blew up his own game, i have 3 alliances one with joanna nick and jacob and one with joanna dan and jules and then my core alliance with jules and jacob, raffy was kinda the outlier for my own game because i had an alliance with everyone else and then i clicked well with autumn so i wanted it to be raffy and it kinda just came up that way organically and he did himself no favors. I kinda pitched to autumn how after this we're the sole people from our og tribes and we should stick together because if we lose again i kinda wanna vote out dan bc he has an idol and an undisclosed advantage ON TOP OF THAT so he is really dangerous and he thinks jules trusts him but me and jules are each others number 1s (i hope at least) and they are telling me everything, in a perfect world me jules jacob and autumn vote dan if we lose to avoid nick slipping anything and joanna from having an emotional time with it since she struggled with just voting dan out, its a big move but i think it needs to happen, it's also the best cast for me personally bc i have the weakest individual connection to dan whereas with joanna and autumn i feel really strongly with and like i can work with them, nick is also there but he doesnt pose much of a threat and i think with jacob still being in the game he will trust me or jacob the most and we can use that as a number. Anyways we ended up winning this challenge anyways so it didnt matter but heres to hoping we win again bc while i would be ok with dan going if we can win immunity thats priority, so heres to hoping we can do that

3 minutes later

OK THIS IS MY CONFESSIONAL FOR THIS ROUND RIP JESS !!!!!!!!!! I AM SO SAD JESS IS GONE I LOVE HER WITH MY ENTIRE BEING SHE IS SO FUN AND SO GOOD AND I WANTED TO PLAY WITH HER BUT SURVIVOR GODS SAID NOPE I AM REALLY SAD. i am so sad. but the game moves on, with jess leaving nick really has no one besides me and jacob and maybe joanna? but she is more loyal to her og ravenclaws, so im hoping he sticks to my side, autumn and i are clicking well but shes just likable so shes clicking with everyone, i hope we can get closer in the game as well bc i wanna work with her, dan scares me alot, if we lose again i might try to blindside him with jules but idk, its all up in the air, challenge is music videos, im not particularly fond of this challenge or any judgement based challenge for that matter but i am rolling with it, it's usually fun i guess, but im awkward so eek, idk my tribe doesn't seem like the type to stand out in a music video but maybe they will all surprise me and turn it out, heres to hoping that happens! ok bye for now!

I’m probably being super sensitive rn but I really don’t like Joanna. Like at all. If it’s not her idea, she doesn’t want to do it. Like she’s so demanding and annoying and I feel like it’s probably just the game getting to her but I really don’t like it

So after my last confessional, what happened was I went to Ruthie to double check whether the information I was getting was true and she did want to vote for Max. i made sure to cover my bases discussing this with Lily and also telling Ruthie I'm totally down to vote Max if she is, i want to make myself as trustworthy as possible to her and start working with her more down the line, it's key moments like these where establishing trust is VITAL! with her being pissed that owen spread the information and wanting to vote hufflepuff strong though, it was the perfect time for us to try to make a move on owen. I was really confident I could flip Juls and Chips on the revote, and the truth is if I hadn't NAPPED THROUGH TRIBAL.. LMAO... I most likely could have. But it all worked out in the end since we deadlocked and Jess went home in the rocks. I love Jess and was really excited to work with her, but it's very obvious I wasn't a priority to her, and her going home leaves 4 Hufflepuffs on this tribe, so I'm okay with the results. I did my best afterward and will continue to work hard on damage control with Owen, Juls, and Chips. I went from perhaps one of the upcoming boots to a higher up social center on this tribe and I'm hoping that goes mostly unnoticed? But who knows. That's why we gotta win this challenge! Speaking of, it's a music video challenge! Yay I'm so happy I got to do one of these sooner rather than later :D I've had a blast coordinating the challenge with Lily. We work really well together and I feel it extends to challenges, but also our casual conversation, and just the fact that we get along so well, she is pretty much my tightest person in the game right now and I think that we can do a lot of damage as a long term duo (especially with an alliance with Ruthie, Max as an additional number to that, and us being Positioned in the middle tier of the Huffs.) I'm well aware how likable Lily is though so I'll keep that in mind before I promise ride or die loyalty forever, but for right now I'm very happy working with her. I'm STILL not going to look for any spells, sorry bout it. but yyyeaah... Overall I'm pretty satisfied with the MarshmallowMoves I've been making and im looking forward to what happens next in this crazy game.

Our music video is........ gonna lose lmao. It’s no shade at Joanna bc fuck editing. But it’s soooooooooooooo boring. I feel like the judges will watch like 30 seconds and fall asleep. It’s a cute song choice and everything, but it’s also....... so bland. The Harry Potter puppet pals would have been so good and I stand by it.

I'm literally SO HAPPY!!! Hufflepuff won a creative challenge that I did a lot of work directing on (HUGE props to Lily who I love and was amazing to work with on this), and some of my ideas got mentioned in the comments as good things!! I'm honestly just ecstatic about the way this whole challenge went down, it was so much fun. Juls did an amazing job editing, the filming everyone else did was fantastic, I'm just in love with this tribe and I'm so happy with the music video we did. Not only that, but I wasn't feeling too hot about tribal council. It's not that I thought I'd be going home, but I thought the vote would be very difficult. It most likely would have had to fall on Chips or Owen - if it had been Chips, that would be really tough and could even result in some spell plays being cast against us, with the vote being probably 4-3 since Juls/Chips are close. If it had been OWEN though, Juls and Chips maybe would've voted with us, but Ruthie probably would've not wanted to go for him now that they've had a chance to talk it out since she admitted to their old Final 2. Luckily Ruthie and I were able to now agree on an official alliance between us and Ruthie, so it looks like we've got a lot to do together and I'm excited to see what the future holds. I've been trying to damage control a bit with Chips and Owen, I'm not sure how well it's working. Owen is a very naturally social person and I feel that he is quite good at deceiving his true feelings and emotions, either that or he is very rational and calm about the game, not upset he VERY nearly got blindsided - either way, he's super dangerous and I can't just trust that we had a nice conversation one time, it'd be dumb of me. I'm feeling positive about where I stand with this tribe right now though, I don't think anyone would be able to get a strong majority to target me because I really don't think Juls, Max, Ruthie, or Lily would want to vote me out. At least I sure hope not! No, but, a lot of times with creative challenges in these games I struggle because I am pursuing creative passions in real life, so even though it's just a few judges, it can feel defeating when you get judged bad and harsh critique. I take those criticisms into account but it can still make you feel a little self conscious at times. Winning this challenge was a huge boost and just something that made me feel good, not to mention the fun times I had doing it with everyone on the team. Overall - a GOOD DAY! One could even say.. "A sunny day!" (one of my lines in the music video DUH) Hopefully Kev doesn't go out, curious to see where this game goes next. Adios~

So thankful that we won! Although I feel like I need to deal with the madness that was the last tribal but if I’m being honest I’m just not ready. Last tribal was so beyond crazy but I know that’s part of the reason why I play. I didn’t play this game to play it safe. I’d rather mess my game up trying to make a move then sitting in the sand and letting others dictate what happens on a vote. Although in the end...rocks made the call. I really miss Jess and her company on the tribe. It sucks when someone leaves that you get along well with and I could see the potential of us working together in the future. Jess is a strong player and made it through so much already in this season. Seeing her go def has a huge impact on the rest of the game that’s for sure. I appreciate how Jess stuck to her guns too which I completely understand. With her going it shows me that I really need to prove myself and continue to be as bold as I can be without getting caught that is. I haven’t talked to Owen since we tried voting him out. He knows what happened. I know what happened. It’s awkward but I’m glad that we could all still have fun with the music video challenge. Landen and I did a lot of the planning and Juls did the editing. And everyone put in their input on ideas and sending in quality magic videos. I’m glad we turned out with something cute and fun. I wanted to suggest a tiger king song in Jess’s honor but wasn’t sure if the judges would appreciate it in the same way. Wondering what’s going to happen in this game. Ruthie and I have been working together in the castle to find an idol. So far no luck and I assume at this point in the game anything and everything would have been found by now. But who knows. We shouldn’t give up that’s for sure. Even though last tribal was incredibly difficult and hard and I’m not sure if I even handled it the best way I could, I’m still having fun playing this game and glad to be here. Hoping merge is around the corner even though I’m not ready for the craziness that comes with it.

Y’all this vote is stupid af haha. THE LADIES ARE FIGHTING! And by ladies I mean Autumn and Nick. They both want each other dead, and Joanna wants Jacob dead lmao. Me and Kevin are legit sitting here like 🥴

last round.. mess. this round.. thank god we won LMAOOO. i honestly don’t know what all to say because i’m starting to question where everyone stands with me, BUT. i think i’ll be fine.. hopefully. unless people keep lying to me, that’s when i’m como se dice.. fucked <3

okay lemme scream in my dr real quick....jacob's ass DIDNT DO SHIT IN THE CHALLENGE BC HES IN 7 FUCKING ORGS BUT IF I VOTE HIM OUT AGAIN I HURT HIS FEELINGS??? he's also a loyal ally to me (at least, loyal enough) but he wants to keep NICK in who?? literally is gunning for me?? dude you put urself in this position not doing the challenge and it makes me so angry that i have to cover for him and cover his ass!! when he didnt do shit!! and i honestly think he's !!!! good enough to vote out at this point!!! especially bc mister dan thinks i know jacob IN REAL LIFE??? IM SICK IM SICK IM SICK IM SICK !!!!!!!! JACOB SHOULD'VE TRIED IN THE CHALLENGE!!! HE GOT HIMSELF INTO THIS MESS!!!

Good news! I mean, it's kind of good news. We had a music video challenge and we picked a fun song. We did Magic by Selena Gomez sung for The Wizards of Waverly Place movie! So that was a lot of fun... and I suggested to our tribe we have some sort of "story" and aren't just lip syncing because I have had too many lost lip syncs where we lost because of no story being evident. So we did a "getting into Hogwarts" and being Hufflepuffs and it was cute! And fun!! I'm pretty sure if we lost I would be the vote off since they think Owen has an idol so they would vote me out since Landen has a close relationship to Juls and so I'm the next most obvious choice. Anyway! Our story carried us to the win!!! I believe this might be the first time across all ORGs that I've won a lip sync comp. That might be a lie, but I have a pretty bad track record.

ooooooh if this tribe don't make a damn DECISION! https://media.tenor.com/images/4ff794852927c7441b26618a705b340f/tenor.gif The vote has been me, Jules, Jacob, Nicholas, God, Trump- you name it. Particularly because Nicholas refuses to just sit down and eat his food. Like everyone was just gonna vote Jacob and then Nicholas had to start throwing names out, starting with me of course, so I've literally been whipping the vote all day. And just when I got a majority on Nicholas, now he's making a group chat with Joanna, Dan, and Kevin (aka all the white people lmao) to inform them that he's now ready to vote Jacob???

https://giphy.com/gifs/bad-girls-club-bgc-rocky-8Cprh3gaXGGQw

Where was that energy at like 2:00? And why am I always saying that about Slytherin? They're nocturnal I swear to God and they don't give a fuck until the sun goes down because otherwise make it make sense. Why take us all through changes for 5 hours if you're actually down to vote your brother out? Like we have lives- make a decision and stick to it. And then all that back and forth is just showing your ass?? So now EVERYONE knows who you want out and just how indecisive you are. And tbh sending him out would do him a favor because how are you gonna come back from exposing your entire hand. I honestly want us to go back to tribal after this just so I get another shot at him before merge. Cause if he mobs up with Hufflepuff at merge it's a wrap for me. But! today we learned who's really with who and that shit is KEY: Jacob and Joanna got beef, Nick apparently has beef with me and Jules, Nick has Joanna and thinks he has Dan but doesn't, Kevin and I are solid, Dan and I are officially made a deal, and I think Jules thinks Ravenclaw is solid buuuut that ain't true lmao. But like it's fine Basically all's well that ends well, a Slytherin boy will go home and I have no clue which but I don't care at this point because enough is enough, and I'm going back to watching How to Get Away with Murder. So call me when y'all ready for me to vote https://66.media.tumblr.com/a6fc82d986adfcc112785f209fe163bd/tumblr_inline_ngmjfrxq071sggcf2.gif

WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS JOANNA IS RIGHT!!!!! SHE'S RIGHT!!!!!

Long story short, I hate everyone here. Everyone is running around acting a fool about who to vote and frankly i don't even care who goes. my worry is that joanna knows about my steal a vote and I don't want her to fucking leak that shit around if I vote out nick, but at the same time I don't trust jacob because he's legit never online!! maybe i'll just tell joanna right before the vote that kevin told me he was voting nick so I flipped??? i'm so stressed.

okay. im fine now. ITS FINE!!!! I LOVE YOU JACOB !!!! IF UR READING THIS I LOVE U BITCH!!!! AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVIN U BITCH!!!!! EVEN WHEN U MAKE GAMES HARD!!!!!!!

This round has been a whirlwind. I feel I’m losing the morals I entered the game with, because I’m possibly having to sacrifice my final slytherin teammate to stay in the game. I thought I had a grasp on this tribe, but I genuinely feel so lost. It’s exhausting, and I’ve been fighting back tears of exhaustion and defeat the entire day. I trust Joanna and Kevin with all my heart, but I secretly fear Joanna is just pocketing me as a number. Personally, I think we are great friends, but gameplay-wise, I do think she’s trying to gain me as a workable number. More power to her. I did not even suggest Autumn, I merely asked if that’s who is being considered since she’s one of the people, to my limited knowledge, that was outside the brewing majority alliance. I suppose it was leaked to her, meaning that I got blamed for a crime I did not commit. I tried fixing it with Autumn and Jules, but I’m unsure of my success. I believe Jacob will leave tonight, but I fear it’s my time. I’ve tried so hard, I just hate it. I applied to this game as a Ravenclaw, but I was placed on Slytherin. I’ve went to every tribal but one, but the one I did not go to resulted in one of my two allies leaving. Speaking of that, I’m thankful that Jess and I worked things out, genuinely. I just want to stay and fight, but I feel the spotlight is fading. No one is receptive, and no matter what I throw to the wall, it won’t erase whatever writing is currently there. ~ nick.

THIS IS AN AUTUMN APPRECIATION POST. I REPEAT. THIS IS AN AUTUMN APPRECIATION POST. PLS KNOW I LOVE YOU!!!!!!! POINT BLANK PERIOD!!!

Me almost forgetting to make one of these! I LOVE that we won another challenge and I really feel like something is about to happen to shake up the game, maybe a swap and one person is isolated for a bit or... merge? Okay sending this in before it’s late and I get a strike hehe.

https://youtu.be/8omy0AqZ5cc

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asksansweredpdf · 5 years

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if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? read: ms marvel watch: the last jedi listen to: say it aint so - weezer

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who? yes! andy weir, especially in the martian. the way he writes his characters thoughts is exactly how i think

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with. star wars: kylo ren marvel: tony stark, peter parker ouat (when i was younger: regina mills hunger games: katniss jtv: jane villanueva

do you like your name? is there another name you think would fit you better? i dont really have much of an opinion of my name. it’s better than something like heidi. i do wish it were spelled like riya though. that’s a lot easier to read and pronounce. and the spelling is more elegant

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do? i feel like more a human being. i don’t really do much or have many accomplishments. and i’m more an internal thoughts/feelings person.

are you religious/spiritual? nope

do you care about your ethnicity? not really. i value where i’m pretty sure i come from (it’s complicated - i dont know if my father is my biological father). regardless, i value the cultural norms and values i was brought up with. but i dont place my whole identity around that.

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime? freddie mercury. because of his flamboyancy and lyrics. and we’re both half indian bisexual people. harry styles also for his flamboyance but also for the value he places on being kind and diplomatic and having a strong sense of justice. david bowie a bit because we’re both bi, love drugs, and love cats. emilie autumn because she has been through so much and is very angry because of it. she loves and believes in vengeance. i don’t see a lot of people (especially women) who seem to understand or express that. most people who have been through stuff sort of bounce back and are fine. but i’m always going to be angry and want revenge about what happened to me. and that’s sort of what she talks about in her songs.

are you an artist? nah. i like drawing and painting and stuff because its fun and eases your mind. but i get too frustrated at myself for not being able to immediately create something exactly the way it is in my head. my hands dont do what my brain sees.

do you have a creed? not really. treat people the way you’d want to be treated. and once you know them, treat people the way they treat you.

describe your ideal day. i get high, i shower high and listen to music, there is food around that i love and either a really funny tv show, or a favourite of mine. maybe even some high sex. i am alone.

dog person or cat person? cat. i hate dogs so fucking much.

inside or outdoors? inside. outdoors has like ants that bite you and bird shit and stuff

are you a musician? i taught myself 2 1/2 songs on piano?

five most influential books over your lifetime. in no order: the hunger games, a long way home - saroo brierley, boy overboard - morris gleitzman, the martian - andy weir, and probably tfios because who didnt love that book

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same? absolutely not. i actually just finished watching jane the virgin 5x01 where (SPOILERS) michael comes back but has amnesia and is a whole different person because he can’t remember his past. i feel the same way. if i had a different past or couldn’t remember mine, i would be very different. i would be a) way more confident, b) wouldn’t have anxiety, c) would be more assertive, d) would be more ambitious.

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”? i talk on here a lot more than i do irl. and i talk about things a lot more because i dont know anyone here. i guess tumblr is me but less afraid. since it’s a very anonymous platform, which makes it easier to not give a shit what people will think. and the block button helps but i’ve never had to use it

what’s your patronus? either a black cat or a crow or raven or something.

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle? ravenclaw. though if im being honest (and i am because no one follows or sees this blog) i dont know how i keep getting put in ravenclaw. i don’t really feel intelligent these days. and i cant remember the last time i did.

would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else? dude totally hogwarts! magic is amazing. i’d love to be an avenger but i prefer to keep to myself which isnt really a superhero quality.

do you love easily? GOD. yeah i do. lately i’ve been trying to not make any friends, and to keep my distance from people i’m already friends with. but its really hard because i love people a lot, even when i dont want to. i’ve decided i can love them from afar, but i’m not trusting them or getting too close. but yeah it’s ahrd being a leo

list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order. (Over)Thinking. Listening to music. Eating. Going on my phone. Working

how often would you want to see your family every year? ideally, never again. but practically, i guess only on special occasions

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone? yeah. they were my two favourite people and relationships. my old best friends. but i dont talk to either of them anymore. i do miss the feeling of understanding someone and being so inherently understood. and belonging somewhere.

could you live as a hermit? easily

how would you describe your gender/sexuality? so here’s the thing. i keep swinging from lesbian to bi. i thought i only liked girls for a while. but there have been a few guys (im talking like 5) who i’ve ever been attracted to. and a lot of people say that just means you’re a lesbian if you like all girls and only like a few guys. but i know that i did like those guys a lot. sure, it was different to how i liked girls, but the attraction was there. so im inclined to say bi. but who knows.

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”? yeah. unfortunately, my emotions show on my face a lot more than i want them to. im good at disguising them - i do a good fake smile when im sad. but i can never have a neutral, or impartial face. in terms of facial features, yeah that’s pretty close.

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin? like 10. i try to be really understanding and patient, since i know i get under people’s skin a lot. that’s why i get really upset when someone finally DOES get under my skin. because i give a lot of changes. i feel like you’d have to really fuck up to make me mad

three songs that you connect with right now. goodbye stranger - supertramp, hustle - pink, nobody - mitski

pick one of your favorite quotes. the very cliche “being human is a condition that requires a little anaesthesia” because mood

#mine

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