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#i have an angsts story i was thinking of when i drew this
astranauticus · 9 months
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Do mechanites cry?
#rolling with difficulty#vrla rwd#mrsn rwd#vr la rwd#mr sn rwd#art i made#yet another thing i drew then just fully forgot to post LMAO#man i had to listen to 3.7 like 3 times for this. goddammit#easter egg: the 4 big infernal books in the shelf all say contract law like its a textbook series i guess#the small one next to them says Doctor Faustus bc i was looking to my irl bookcase for inspiration#and the christopher marlowe play was one of my alevel lit texts#also i think it would be really funny if the devils have their own version of the story of the deal with the devil guy#honestly this may have been the kinda. last straw of my burnout cuz this was a lot of time spent on a lot of stuff im really not good at#and none of it turned out... exactly how i wanted but oh well. it is what it is#ok the kinda annoying thing about me spending far too fucking long drawing super emotional scenes like this is i kinda#desensitise myself to whatever im drawing. like i felt it the most with the demon possession comic i casually tossed into the discord#bc thats the exact kinda angst i personally LOVE but it just doesnt have the same punch after ive been staring at it for 5 hours straight#(anyway go read cal's fic about it its on ao3 and its bloody good)#all this to say. when i first listened to 3.7 and austin had that exchange of like#'noir can i ask you a lore question' 'sure..?' 'do mechanites cry?'#i straight up got fuckin CHILLS. and sometimes i forget that but i try to force myself not to
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andvys · 12 days
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Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
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Chapter twelve ⭐︎ When the curtains call the time, will we both go home alive?
Warnings: 18+ minors don't interact! angst, jealousy, misunderstandings, mutual pining, mentions of unrequited feelings, mentions of cheating (not on reader), mentions of past stancy, jealous!Steve, slightly mean!Steve (kinda?), smut smut smut, bathroom sex, car sex, fingering, squirting. I like to picture Jacob as Drew Starkey hehe
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: Steve had never handled his jealousy very well, but being jealous over you, brings out a new side in him. He would do anything to keep you, anything.
Word count: 17.4k+
Author's note: I've been waiting for this chapter since forever, jealous men are always my jam, and @hellfire--cult took these ideas to a whole new level, enjoy this filthy chapter. This one is for all my Steve girlies who haven't given up on me after my last story ♡ Roe, I should grant you a thousand wishes at this point, you keep me so hyped for this story. Also this chapter wouldn't have been this good without you, don't even try to fight me
Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter ⭐︎ Next Chapter
Nancy’s brows are furrowed in concentration, her pink lips pursed as she looks through the many dresses to find the perfect one, her curly hair is pulled up into a bun, held together by a white scrunchie with pink polka dots, she’s wearing one of the outfits she had gotten on your last shopping trip together, this is only your second time, but it’s fun, you like hanging out with her. 
You drove to Indianapolis since Hawkins doesn’t have all too many clothing stores, especially after the ‘fire’ at the mall, you prefer it here anyways, the big city has much more to offer than the small town. 
“What do you think of this one?” Nancy asks as she shows you the yellow sundress. 
You tilt your head, pressing your lips together as you eye it, not quite liking the way too bright color. You walk around the clothing rack to get to the other side, holding the clothing items that you threw over your forearm a little tighter as you take in the different colors of the dress she’s still holding up. 
“Mmm… No, maybe the blue one, Nancy?” You ask, as you point your finger at the baby blue color, when your eyes widen as you catch sight of the purple one, “or, the purple one! That one would look cute, it matches the color of your eyeshadow!” 
She smiles at you, nodding excitedly. She puts the yellow dress on the rack, and looks through the purple ones to find her size. 
“But you should go for the yellow one if you like it more.” 
She shakes her head, looking back at you, “no, I trust your judgment,” she smiles and picks out the dress, “besides, this color is way cuter.” 
You nod, a smile tugging at your lips, “yeah, it’ll look amazing on you.” 
Her dimples show and her eyes light up a little. 
Nancy has been nothing but kind and sweet to you, and you can’t help but feel guilt and regret growing inside of you for the way you once felt about her. 
You weren’t only jealous of her because she had Steve, you also hated her for having him, and you’d spent your shared classes with her, staring at her and comparing yourself to the girl he loved so dearly – the girl he still loves. You were never rude to her or mean, you never glared at her or threw comments at her the way other girls did, after Steve had humiliated her in front of the whole town, despite your feelings for him, you did feel disappointed for what he had done, even when you didn’t even like her, at that time. 
“You should try this one on!” Nancy pulls you out of your thoughts, a grin on her face as she holds up a black dress – a daring black dress. It’s short and flowy, the straps are thin, it’s  low cut with a dainty bow on the front, the back very exposed. “You could wear this one to Vickie’s party.”
A smile tugs at your lips, you step forward and slowly reach your hands out to take it from her. 
“You will look hot in it,” Nancy wiggles her eyebrows at you, nudging her shoulder against yours as she brushes past you to look for more dresses, “I’m sure I won’t be the only one who thinks that,” she says in a sing-song voice. 
Nancy had been very persistent in trying to get you to go on dates. The last time you went out together, the Barista at your local coffee shop had put his number on your takeaway cup after giving you the order for free. She tried to convince you to give him a call, gushing over how sweet he was to you and how he looked at you, and yeah, he was sweet, he was very good looking too, and maybe you would’ve given him a call if things were still the same they were months before this. Yeah, you would’ve definitely given him a call, but only to forget about the certain someone who woke up in your bed this morning. Whose bed you will go to sleep in tonight. 
As you stare at the dress, all that you can think about is Steve, and how he will react to seeing you in this. 
Will he think that you’re pretty? 
Will you look irresistible to him?
Will he want to tear it off of you? 
After all, he does like your dresses, your sundresses especially, you see the way his eyes darken whenever you step into his house with a new one on your body, like he is ready to rip it to shreds and devour you for the next few hours or so, and he usually does, sometimes he doesn’t even take it off, and only pushes it aside, bunching it around your waist.
This sundress is by far more revealing than any of the other ones you have worn before. Excitement bubbles in your stomach as you think of his reaction to it. 
You are definitely getting it. 
After taking forever to pick out what clothes to keep in the dressing room, you both make your way out of the store with full bags, stuffed with new summer clothes. You stroll around town for a while, looking for new jewelry and shoes to go with the dresses you both bought. 
You never realized just how much you missed having a girl friend to do these things with, until you sit down at a cute café to eat some late lunch. It’s something you always used to do with your childhood best friend, that you always try not to think of, too painful are the memories of Chrissy and how you couldn’t be there for her, how you couldn’t save her. You always wondered if things would have gone differently had you both not drifted apart the way you did when you both went separate ways.
But it’s no use to overthink about it, you won’t ever find out. 
“Funny how we’re shopping for clothes, when a few weeks back we were fighting for our lives against something the whole world doesn’t even know about,” Nancy says as she looks over the menu. 
“Yeah,” you nod with wide eyes, glancing up from your own menu to look at her, you realize that you never asked how she got involved in all of it, in the first place. 
You clear your throat, “I never asked… how did you get involved?” 
She raises her brows at your question, taking a deep breath before she puts down the menu. 
“I–It was when Barb went missing, right after Will… What the police said about her wasn’t right, I knew my Barb, so I looked into it all, and I dragged Jonathan in with me because he was looking for his brother, only to find out that my brother and all of his friends were in it too…” She rolls her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. 
You laugh a little, shaking your head. 
A shiver runs down your spine as you think of how long it had all been going on in the shadows, how long you had been unaware of the Upside Down and the existence of monsters, how children were involved in something they shouldn’t have been. 
“And then, poor Steve… He showed up at Jonathan’s place when we tried to lure in the Demogorgon, he almost ran off… but he came right back to fight him with us.” 
You know all about it, Steve told you how he fought the Demogorgon with Nancy and Jonathan, how he had been dragged into it all by accident, how he helped Dustin find Dart, how he protected the kids and climbed into the tunnel after getting beaten by Billy. 
You know most of what happened, not only from Steve, but also from Robin, but you feel intrigued, you want to know more… from her.
Something flashes in her eyes, a look of guilt, a look of regret. 
You know exactly what she’s thinking about, and you know that you shouldn’t bring this up, but your curiosity gets the best of you. 
“I-I was at Tina’s Halloween party.” 
Nancy winces at that, she doesn’t seem uncomfortable by your words, just… regretful of the memories that night brings her. 
You remember the night just as well as she does. Steve had bumped into you after he rushed out of the bathroom you didn’t even know he was in with Nancy, he glared at you and nudged your shoulder harshly, he rudely told you to move out of his way and murmured some incoherent curse word at you. 
You remember how deflected you felt, all night you had avoided him only to bump into him in his worst moment. 
Everyone knows what happened that night, not in full detail, but it doesn’t take a genius to find out what happened between King Steve and his girlfriend after he had stormed out of the house without her, and she left with Jonathan instead. 
Word traveled around, rumors circulated, but you didn’t listen to them, it wasn’t any of your business, and it wasn’t hard to figure out what had happened anyways. Just as Steve and Nancy’s relationship ended, she showed up to school, holding hands with Jonathan. Clearly, something happened between them long before her relationship with Steve had ended. 
Steve hated you, but your heart broke for him still. 
It was so very obvious how much he loved her, and you can imagine how much it hurt when she cheated on him, and left him and his heart in shambles. 
“I-I will never forgive myself for it. No matter if– he did forgive me. I was horrible to him, no amount of apologies can take away the guilt I will forever feel.”
“W-What happened?” You ask nervously, not wanting to overstep but still feeling the curiosity tugging harshly in your chest. 
She sighs, looking around the bustling street before her eyes move back to yours. 
“I-I always blamed him for what happened to Barb, I should’ve gone home with her that night, but I didn’t, even though I promised I would. I went with him, a-and the Demogorgon got her,” she explains, shaking her head a little as she closes her eyes, “it wasn’t Steve’s fault, not at all, but I-I blamed him and every time I looked at him, I just thought about her and what happened to her and how things would’ve gone differently if I didn’t leave her that night, if I didn’t went with Steve.” 
You dig your nails into your palms, swallowing harshly as you watch her. 
“He was good to me, he was there for me, b-but I couldn’t stand him sometimes, and how he tried to act like everything was normal, when it wasn’t.” 
The feeling of irritation sparks inside of your chest, crawling into your bloodstream. 
“And then, the Halloween party… I just, I was still grieving and I was angry, I let it all out on him, I should’ve handled things differently, I shouldn’t have been so harsh but… I-I called him bullshit,” she confesses to you, scrunching up her nose as she cringes at her own self, “and then I confessed my true feelings for him and our relationship.” 
You swallow the lump in your throat, the anger that you are holding back after those leave her mouth. Bullshit. 
How could she do that to him? 
How could she hurt him the way that she did? 
How could she call him that?  
You can tell that it takes a weight off her shoulders, that it’s something she hasn’t talked about since it happened, not to Robin, not even to Jonathan, because after these words leave her mouth, she takes a deep breath, and her body relaxes as she leans back in her seat. 
Her face is edged with shame, but also with relief to finally be able to let it out. 
And you try, you really try to hide your own feelings, the anger, the hurt that you feel for the man that you hold so dearly in your heart. 
You feel thankful for the waiter who interrupts your thoughts, he places the drinks that you ordered on the table, and reaches for his notepad, taking Nancy’s food order first. 
You take a sip of your iced tea and you watch her for a moment, reminding yourself of how long ago it was, how much she changed, how much he changed, how it’s none of your business, how you shouldn’t feel angry at her, even when she’s the one who hurt him, when she’s the one he still wants, despite what she did. 
He would take her back in a heartbeat if she came back to him, and the thought breaks your heart. 
But you can’t help but keep dancing around the topic, so after the waiter takes your order and leaves, you ask her something you’ve been wondering about for weeks now. 
“Do you… regret it? Do you sometimes wish that things between you went differently?” 
She leans her elbows on the table, placing the straw between her lips, she takes a sip of her drink before she leans back again. 
“The only thing I regret is how I led him on, I wish I could go back, and lay it all out on him in a different way… Explain to him why… I didn’t feel that for him, give him a reason instead of making him think that he’s damaged.” 
She cared about him, you can see it in her eyes, you can hear it in her voice. She cared, even if only poorly. 
“I see,” you nod, trying not to sigh. “And… well– when the whole thing with Vecna…” You pause as you feel the weight on your chest crushing you with nervousness. 
She tilts her head at you, “what?” 
Heat rushes to your cheeks, you lick your lips as you look around, watching the people in the busy street across the café for a moment, before you return your gaze to her. 
“Well… It was noticeable you know… and then… you two weren’t exactly quiet in the RV,” you mumble, trying not to sound bitter as the day catches up to you, what Steve had said to Nancy, how he looked at her, how she looked at him – and the rude things he said about you before the white picket fence conversation came up. 
Her eyes widen a little, cheeks blushing a deep red as she looks down sheepishly. 
You don’t know what you had expected, but you certainly didn’t wait for her to blush, it makes your stomach clench uncomfortably. 
“I–I was just hurt because of Jonathan. Feelings are cunning, evil… I was angry, and I think my heart and mind looked for where I could find comfort.” 
Oh, how ugly the feeling in your chest now is, how bitter the taste on your tongue is, how the sweetness of your drink does nothing to make it better, because you know, you know that you wouldn’t be sitting here now if Jonathan didn’t come back, you wouldn’t wake up in Steve’s bed or fall asleep in his arms. 
Because she would be the one.
You knit your brows together as you stare at her, “but Steve–”
“I know but… I think it was just a heat of the moment kind of thing.”
You physically have to restrain yourself from clenching your jaw or rolling your eyes. So, you look away for a moment, staring into a blank space as you try to calm your breathing. 
Heat of the moment. 
You want to scoff and laugh at her words, because telling your ex-girlfriend that you want to have six kids with her is totally, a heat of the moment kind of thing, right. 
You’re very well aware of the jealousy that is boiling inside of you, worsening every passing second, and yet, you can’t help but want to fuel the fire even more, and find out what she would’ve done if she needed more comfort. 
So when you look at her back, you ask, “so… if you were still hurt and Jonathan didn’t come back…?”
You see the way she freezes, the way she hesitates, the way she takes way too long to answer your question. 
“I-I don’t think that I would’ve been with Steve again… Even if my urges and desires told me to… That’s the only thing they were… desires or… attractions. I wouldn’t want to hurt him again and give him the idea that there’d be a chance for a future,” she sighs, shaking her head, “I’m not the one. I’m not the woman for the future of his.” 
You don’t know whether to feel sad for Steve or yourself. 
She is that woman. 
She is the one, the only one that he wants in that way, so why is she denying it? 
The question lingers in your mind and you can’t help but wonder, what would happen if she stopped denying it? If her feelings were more than just desire after all? If she came back to him? 
There is no doubt about what he would do. 
You’d be nothing but a faint memory the moment she’d come back. 
You’d no longer occupy her space in his bed. 
You’d no longer be the one he’d kiss, touch, feel. 
And you, you would step aside without a moment of hesitation, because despite your feelings for him, you would want him to be happy, and you know that he would never get that with you. 
“Besides, I don’t want to be. Steve was my first boyfriend, puppy love,” she chuckles. “It’s different with Jonathan, I want him in my future, a-and I’d honestly take any future with him,” she says, as a soft smile creeps on her face, “I didn’t love Steve but, I love him,” she says truthfully and honestly. 
She isn’t someone you have to worry about. 
She isn’t someone who will take your temporary space, at least not now, not anymore. 
But you still can’t find peace within you after this conversation, you can’t push aside the thoughts of him, of how much he still wants her, of how much he still loves her, of how much he wishes to be with her again, and it upsets you, even when it shouldn’t. 
So, when you come home, you throw your bags on the stairs and make your way into the kitchen, you pick up the telephone and you call him, coming up with some weak excuse as to why you can’t see him tonight. 
You want to see him, but you wouldn’t be able to control your feelings, you wouldn’t be able to hide the pain in your eyes. If Nancy wasn’t with Jonathan, she would be with Steve, and he would choose her, then and now. 
You heard the sigh on the other end, the disappointed ‘okay… bye, Blondie.’ before you hung up the phone abruptly. 
You want him, you want to be with him, you want to feel his touch, his hands on your skin, his lips on yours, and yet, you don’t at the same time, because right now, it would just hurt too much. 
You need to calm your anxious thoughts, or you will give yourself away completely. 
-
Two days. 
It’s been two whole days since Steve had last seen you, and both his mind and his body were going crazy over the lack of you. 
When you had called him on Wednesday evening, he was already waiting for you, giddy and excited for another night with you, but when you announced that you wouldn’t come, he felt deflected, a little crushed even, but he understood, you sounded tired and like you needed your rest, so he didn’t even try to convince you to let him come see you. 
But the next day, there was no trace of you either, you didn’t call, you didn’t visit him at work, you didn’t come over, and when he tried to call you, you didn’t pick up the phone, you also weren’t home, your car wasn’t in your driveway, you were gone. And it made him feel… weird. 
Because where were you? 
You had never done anything like this before, always eager and ready for him, but never this. 
He craved you so terribly, he wanted to see you, he wanted to hear your voice, to feel your touch, to feel your body beneath his. 
He longed for you, and two days away from you, only showed him just how much of a hold you have over him. 
The past two days went by so slowly, it was almost agonizing – just like the terrible music that blasts through Vickie’s house as more and more strangers make their way into her home, filling the empty spaces. 
With his back against the wall, Steve stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, a bored expression on his face as he nods along to Eddie’s rambling about some band he had never even heard the name of, occasionally putting on his meanest face to glare at the people who give Eddie dirty looks. He can’t stand them. 
He takes a sip of his coke, looking around the crowded room in search of you. 
He knows you’re here, but he has yet to see you. 
You came with Eddie, but while the latter instantly came to find him, you apparently left to find Robin, who he hasn’t seen in a while either. 
He has been here for at least two hours now, and he is beginning to grow restless, wanting to just push himself away from the wall and go find you. 
“--And I can’t wait to see them live, man! No more headbanging in my room,” Eddie laughs as he sips on his beer. “Judas Priest is sick! You gotta come with us, I’m sure Gareth won’t mind.” 
“Mmm.” Steve nods, glancing at Eddie with a plastered smile on his face, he feels a bit bad for not listening to him, but Eddie doesn’t seem to mind, he continues talking.
Steve cranes his neck, looking into the kitchen, then into the hallway, and out into the backyard, trying to catch a glimpse of you, but all he sees are people he doesn’t care about. 
The music is starting to give him a headache, and the smell of liquor and weed is beginning to make him feel hazy. He's not drinking, he’s got other plans that hopefully won’t be canceled tonight but the more time passes, and there is still no trace of you, his hope is beginning to dwindle, because a part of him starts to believe that you are doing this on purpose, not showing yourself to him. 
Are you avoiding him? 
The thought makes his chest ache weirdly, a feeling that he can’t even describe floods through his veins. 
He doesn’t want you to avoid him, he doesn’t want you to stay away from him, he doesn’t want you to get bored of him. 
“I got Robin to listen to my mixtape, you’re next, I’m telling you, you’re gonna be a metalhead in no time,” Eddie chuckles, bumping his shoulder into his, he pulls Steve out of his thoughts. 
“Huh?” Steve furrows his brows at him before a forced laugh falls from his lips, “y-yeah, sure.”
Eddie snorts, knowing that he wasn’t listening to a single word he just said and still agreed. A smirk tugs at his lips, he tilts his head, “so, you’re gonna listen to it?” 
Steve nods, pursing his lips as he scratches the back of his neck. 
“Promise?” Eddie asks, almost cackling.
“Yeah, promise,” Steve shrugs. 
Eddie shakes his head, bringing his beer up to his lips, “you’re gonna regret that,” he murmurs against the glass before he takes a sip. 
Steve hates the music Eddie listens to, he’s hated every song he has shown him so far, but Eddie will take that promise in satisfaction, knowing that Steve never breaks any of his promises. 
Eddie takes a look around the room, recognizing a few people from school, some of whom have already graduated the year before. The guy by the snack table is the one who catches his attention the most, he squints his eyes as he takes a better look at him – tall, dark blond, lean, the gold ring that he always wore on his middle finger, still in place. Jacob Leeney. 
He hasn’t seen him since last year when Jacob was back from college for the weekend, the same weekend you made this guy lucky. 
He wants to make a joke to Steve about it, knowing that he hates the football captain’s guts, when from the corner of his eye, he notices how Steve stands up straighter. 
Every hope that began to dwindle, comes back in a rush when Steve sees you for the first time in two days. 
You walk into the room with a drink in your hand, a smile on your lips that grows brighter when your eyes lock with his. 
His own eyes light up at the sight of you, something in his chest swells with a feeling he grew unfamiliar to. His lips curl into a smile as he stares at your face for the longest time, before he lets his eyes roam your body, the exposed skin that isn’t covered by the pretty dress that you’re wearing, begging for his attention, begging to be marked up by his lips and to be touched by his hands.  
If only he could look into his own reflection to see just how awestruck he looks at the sight of you, how you lit up the whole room for him with your presence. If only he was focused on the beating of his heart or the fluttering in his stomach, the butterflies he thought were long gone, rising back up and filling him with life. 
Your skin is glowing beneath the dim fairy lights, your glossy lips that he craves to feel on his own, looking even more kissable than usual, and he already begins to count down the second until he can actually feel them. 
You start making your way over to him, the platform heels that you’re wearing making you look taller than you are. 
Steve licks his lips, having to fight the urge to just meet you halfway, throw you over his shoulder and get the hell out of here so he can have you all to himself. 
Your eyes are locked with his, a blush creeps up on your face and you grow flustered beneath his stare, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips as you raise your hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear – good, nothing changed in those two days. 
His excitement grows, the closer you get, he has nearly all forgotten about his friend next to him, about the other people in this room, but the reminder that it’s not just you and him in this room, catches up quickly, when the smile falls from your lips and your eyebrows furrow as a hand on your upper arm stops you, not enough to startle you, but enough to make you turn around in and look away from him. 
Steve’s own smile falls, and he straightens his back even more. 
He no longer sees your face, your expression or your reaction, but he sees him, Jacob Leeney. And the sight of him alone, is enough to turn the fire that you lit up inside of him, into raging flames. – And not because of the rivalry that was once between them, but because of what he had found out about you and the football captain not too long ago. 
Steve can’t hear what he’s saying to you, but the smile, the smirk on Jacob’s face makes his blood boil. The look in his eyes as he stares you down, making him clench his jaw. 
He pulls you into a hug, hand coming to rest between your shoulder blades, but not quite staying there, he moves it lower and lower until it rests dangerously low on your back as he hugs you for longer than necessary. 
“Damn,” Eddie mumbles from beside him, “Leeney’s about to get another best fuck of his life,” he chuckles, repeating the words that the jock had said to him months back. 
And it does little to calm Steve down. 
“I mean, unless they’ve seen each other this week before, I heard that he was back in town… a few days ago,” Eddie shrugs, watching him closely. 
He watches the way you take a step back, putting distance between you and Jacob after you pull away from the hug, but his hand lingers, not on your back anymore, but now on your elbow as he taps his fingers against your skin, talking to you with a look on his face that gives away his intentions. The sparkling in his eyes matches the one of his own, he wants you, he wants you badly. The interaction between you seems so… trusted, intimate. 
And then, Steve registers what Eddie had said to him, just now. 
A few days ago. 
Steve freezes. 
The cold shudder that runs through him, weakening the flames that just ignited. 
Is that why you canceled your plans with him?  
Is he the reason why you haven’t called? 
Did you stand him up for Jacob?
Were you with him? 
Did you let him kiss you? 
Did you let him touch you?
Did you forget all about him? 
He can’t decipher his own emotions at this very moment, too many are running through him, anger, frustrations… and a very ugly emotion that he won’t admit to feeling. 
He takes a deep breath, unable to hide the frown on his face as he watches you. 
Steve knew it, he knew that his own rule would come to haunt him, and he suddenly feels a deep regret for suggesting the inclusivity that allows you to see other people, he doesn’t want you to do that, he doesn’t want you to see other people, he wants to be the only one for you. 
He is watching you, so closely, so intensely, glaring at the touchy man in front of you, like he’s ready to light him up with his own eyes for putting his hands on places only he should be allowed to touch. 
Eddie slaps his shoulder, “I’ll be right back,” he announces before he scurries away from Steve who refuses to tear his eyes off of you.
He continues to watch you like a hawk, eyes not straying away from you and the man before you, and despite the intensity in his gaze, he is blind to your reactions, to the subtle, tiny steps you take to put distance between you and Jacob. All that Steve can see is the burning red that flashes in his eyes every time he touches you.
He sees the way your shoulders shake from laughter, the way you brush your hair back as you tilt your head up to look at him. 
And the more time passes as you stand across the room, spending time with someone who isn’t him, he begins to grow impatient, restless. 
You should be here, with him, by his side. 
And he wants to show you that the only one you need is him. So, without a second of hesitation, he slams his drink on the table, and he lets his feet carry him over to you, no longer wanting to stand there and watch how someone else might steal you away from him, he won’t let it happen. 
He let it happen with Nancy, he probably would’ve let it happen again if he was still with her, if this was her with Jonathan in front of him, he would’ve looked the other way, despite the aching in his chest.  
But you aren’t Nancy, and his feelings, his reactions, his action that he’s about to take, didn’t fully sink in yet. 
Once he is in earshot, Steve hears Jacob’s annoying, flirty voice. 
“You’re the prettiest girl at this party.” 
Your giggle follows, and it makes Steve’s skin crawl – if he wasn’t so driven by jealousy, and blinded by anger, he would’ve heard how fake it sounded.
“Oh, I don’t think so.” 
Jacob chuckles, opening his mouth to speak, to throw some lame pick up line at you, probably. 
But Steve doesn’t let him. Stepping up beside you, he places his hand on your back first, before he slides it down to your waist, gripping it tightly. The feeling of your body beneath his palm, your warmth and the way you melt into his touch after you turn and tilt your head to look at him, makes his stomach flutter pleasantly. 
You step closer to him, relaxing further when he squeezes you with his large hand, though your eyes are wide and your lips are parted as you stare at him. 
Right now, he can’t even find it in himself to care that your friends could see the intimacy between you and him, all he cares about is you and dragging you away so he can finally have you all to himself. 
“Can I talk to you?” He asks, calmly. 
Your wide eyes spark with curiosity as they look into his own, your glossy lips parting further for him as you come up with words, only to be cut off by Jacob.
“Oh hello, Harrington, long time no see!” The jock grins.
Steve clenches his jaw, but still turns to face him, biting back the distaste on his tongue, he nods at him, “yeah, yeah man, I’ll take her for a minute, okay?” He mumbles with squinted eyes and a fake smile on his lips as he points to you. 
Before the blond can even respond, Steve’s hand leaves your waist, and moves over to your wrist. He grabs your much smaller hand and holds it tightly, giving it a squeeze as he pulls you away and begins to walk, basically dragging you out of the room, and you don’t protest, you follow him, without a single word, slamming your drink on the counter on the way out.
You both walk into the crowded hallway, and he pulls you closer to him when you pass by a group of guys who are talking rather loudly. He pushes you towards the stairs, bringing your hand up a little as he gets behind you.
He doesn’t even bother to look out for your friends, they aren’t on his mind right now and he finds himself not caring about who could see you together. He also doesn’t care about one of his many rules that he is about to break when he pushes you into an empty bathroom. 
You switch the light on and let go of his hand when you walk in further. 
Steve turns around to close and lock the door, his fingers linger on the handle as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 
“What’s wrong, did something happen?” You ask. 
He opens his eyes again and turns around to face you, he raises his hand up, running it through his styled hair, he licks his lips as he lets his eyes roam your body for a second, taking a better look at the dress he hasn’t seen on you before, it must be new. 
The light that shines on you from the ceiling is golden, making your soft skin glow, making it look even more delicate, more desirable. Your chest rises up and down heavily, a worried expression etched in your beautiful features as you stare at him with furrowed brows. Your pouty lips parted. 
Can he blame Jacob for trying to go after you? Not really. 
“Nope, nothing happened,” he mumbles as he makes his way over to you. 
You shake your head a little, frowning, “then why–”
He practically lurches forward, cupping your cheeks, he leans down and presses his lips against yours, the way he wanted to, all night. 
You squeal in surprise, a noise that only fuels his lust even more, prompting him to deepen the kiss roughly. He can taste the sweetness of rum and pepsi on your lips, the strawberry from your gloss, he can taste you, he can smell the intoxicating scent of your perfume, he can feel your arms around his shoulders now as you start moving your lips against his, picking up the pace to match the speed of his own. 
He moans when your fingers get lost in his hair and your nails graze his scalp as you try to pull him closer against you. 
He licks your bottom lip, parting it with his tongue so he can slip it into your mouth. You let him. His palm slides down to your jaw, he holds it there for a moment as his other hand moves down to your hip, gripping it tightly as he presses you against the counter behind you, fingers now playing with the flimsy material of your sundress. 
A needy moan blesses his ears, the delicious sound rushing to his cock, making it stir in his pants that are now getting way too tight around his groin. 
You place your hand on the back of his neck as you place your other on his chest, pressing yourself further against him as you kiss him with whimpers and a neediness that he thought only he was feeling. 
God, he missed you.
But, did you miss him? 
Did your lips touch someone else’s when you weren’t with him, where you were supposed to be? 
The flames that are still raging inside of him, sparking a new kind of anger in him at the thought of it, it prompts him to do something that he has never done before – he bites your bottom lip, making you wince and moan at the pain. 
He pinches your chin between his fingers, pulling away from the kiss to look at you. 
With furrowed brows, you open your eyes to look at him, leaning back in to steal a kiss, but he keeps you in place, ignoring the whine that falls from your lips.
“Jacob Leeney, huh?” He mutters, instantly clenching his jaw after saying that name out loud. “Why did you talk to him, hm?” 
Steve moves his hand under your dress. 
“W-What?” You ask, shakily. “He was just talking to me about college.”
Right. That is the reason why he looked at you like he was ready to tear your dress off and devour you, right then and there. 
“Right,” he mumbles, gritting his teeth in anger. 
You stare at him with a frown on your face, tilting your head a little as you reach your hand up to wrap it around his wrist. And then, realization flashes in your eyes and your lips twitch a little. 
“You plan on fucking him tonight, Blondie?” He sneers, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice. 
You raise your eyebrows, pressing your lips together, he watches the way your throat bobs as you swallow. 
The silence between you is nearly deafening, he can feel your breath on his thumb as he still holds your chin, he waits for you to answer his question.
Your eyes crinkle, and your lips curl into a smile before you suddenly burst into giggles, making his irritation feel worse than before. 
Steve’s muscles tense up and he bites the insides of his cheeks, pressing his knee in between your thighs, he holds you tighter. 
“Why are you laughing, huh?” He asks, as he leans closer to you, cupping your jaw again, he tilts your head to the side, making your giggles die down the moment he latches his lips onto your neck. 
You suck in a sharp breath. 
“Mmm, nothing,” you murmur, “w-what if I am? What if I do plan on fucking him?” 
Steve has to hold back to growl, threatening to escape as he presses another rough kiss to your neck, his fingers now digging deeper into your hip. 
“Well, I have a little priority here, don’t you think?” He murmurs against your skin. 
“Wasn’t it you… the one who said no exclusivity, Steve?” 
His breath stopped for a moment, regret gnawing up in his throat like vile. He wants to back out of that rule… but you are not his, so he waters it down. 
“New rule then, Blondie,” he mumbles, not stopping with the kisses on your neck, “we leave with each other when we are at the same place. So, meaning today it’s me.” 
You furrow your eyebrows at his words, questions already lingering in your mind. 
You would always choose Steve. 
There is no one else you would go home with. 
And you can’t help but want him to know, but you don’t get to tell him because just as you open your mouth, Steve starts kissing your neck differently, intensely, roughly. He sucks on your neck, marking you up and blessing your delicate skin with hickeys as though he wants to show everyone that you’re his, that you belong to him. 
And you do, you do belong to him, but he doesn’t know it. 
He doesn’t know that your heart is his, that your mind and body is in his possession. 
He doesn’t know how crazy you go over his touches, how your heart flutters at every slightest touch of his, how weak and vulnerable you feel when he holds you, how no one else could ever come close to make you feel the things that he can make you feel. 
“How many drinks did you have, Blondie?” 
“J-Just half of the drink I left downstairs,” you say, tilting your head to the side to give him more access to your neck. 
“Just that?” He asks, “you’re not drunk, are you?” 
You shake your head quickly, “no, not at all.” 
“Good,” he nods. 
Your eyes flutter shut when you feel his fingers on your ruined panties, he pushes them aside and slips his long fingers through your folds, dipping them inside of you before he pulls them back out to tease your clit, digits now coated with your slick. 
You jerk a little, wrapping your arm around him so you can hold onto him, a needy moan escapes your mouth. 
You could have had this on Wednesday night, you could have had this last night, but you were too busy worrying about something that filled your heart with pain. 
“S-Steve!” 
He gets lost in his feelings, lost in the rage, in the possessiveness and the urge to show you that he should be the only one for you. His teeth graze your neck, his lips suck harshly on your skin as he spreads you open with two fingers. 
You mewl when he starts pumping them inside of you, in and out, deeply and slowly at first. 
“Who are you so wet for, huh?” He asks, pulling away just enough so he can look at the marks he left, appreciating the sight in front of him for a second, before he pulls your face towards him, gripping your chin tighter than before, his thumb now lingering on your bottom lip. “Tell me, Blondie” 
You open your eyes, revealing to him just how dark they are, how much lust lingers in them. 
“You, Stevie! Just you!” You whine needily before you wrap your lips around his thumb, catching him off guard, once again. You swirl your tongue around it, looking into his hazel eyes as you start sucking, you watch the way they widen and darken, the tension in his jaw now leaving as he is only focused on this, on you. 
“Fuck,” he murmurs under his breath, picking up the pace of his fingers, he drags them out of you and slams them back in, nearly moaning himself when he listens to the squelching noises as he finger-fucks you, “just me?” 
Your jaw drops and you throw your head back, letting go of him to hold onto the edges of the counter, he has got you pressed against at. You nod quickly, “yes, yes! Just you, only you!” You ramble as you squeeze your eyes shut again, enjoying the feeling of his fingers inside of you. 
“Good.” 
Steve can feel how you clench around him, how you’re already so close even though he didn’t even get started yet. He leans in to peck your lips as he curls his fingers inside of you, and he presses his thumb against your clit, rubbing it slowly. 
He feels himself growing harder – the feeling of your tight, wet walls around his fingers being too much, along with the needy moans that keep falling from your pretty lips. 
He stares at you, watching the way your nipples poke through the thin material of your dress – of course, you’re not wearing a bra. You bite your lip, your brows are knit together, and your head falls to the side as you let yourself get lost in the feeling he provides you with. 
Not Jacob, definitely not Jacob. 
The jock could never make you feel this, he is so sure of it, and yet, Steve can’t shake the thoughts of you and him together. 
Would you be this wet for him too? 
Would you moan so prettily for him? 
Would you be so needy for him? 
The anger just won’t leave him, it refuses to, it has him in its tightest grip, urging him to prove something to you. 
His chest heaves up and down heavily, his darkened eyes are nearly black now. 
You’re close, he can feel that you are with the way you’re clenching around him, but he doesn’t let you cum like this tonight, so he pulls his fingers out of you. 
Your eyes shoot open and your lips part as you’re about to protest, pouting at him. He grabs your hips with both of his hands, turning you around abruptly, he bends you over the counter and presses himself against you, and he chuckles darkly when you gasp at his action. 
Steve reaches for the hem of your dress and he flips it over, exposing your ass to him and the lacy thong you’re wearing, he groans at the sight of it, unable to hold back, he rears his hand back before he smacks his large palm against your skin, slapping your ass harshly. 
Steve has never, never treated a girl roughly before, not any of his hookups, not Nancy, but then again, he never had this much fun with any of them. Letting go of his inhibitions, taking what he wants for once, and the fact that you let him, and even love it, makes him go feral.
But as the realization sinks in of what he had done, his eyes widen as fear rushes through him, worried that he had gone too far, but you ease his mind with the filthy whimper that sounds through the room as you press your ass against his dick, rubbing it against him as though you’re asking for more. 
He can’t help but chuckle, the shock and the fear vanishing just as quick as it came. 
“Oh, you like that, Blondie?” He asks as he presses his palm against your ass, this time not slapping it, but grabbing it roughly, making you whine again. “Of course you fucking do,” he murmurs as he lets go, only to smack you once more, making you gasp his name in pleasure. 
“Please!” 
He looks at your reflection in the mirror, needy eyes meeting his. 
“Please what?” He asks as he unbuckles his belt and pops the button of his jeans, he reaches for the condom in his back pocket – mentally thanking his needy self for placing one there before he left his house, in hopes that he would get this. 
“Please, fuck me!” 
He pushes his jeans and boxers down, just enough to free himself, not wasting any more time, he rips apart the foil and throws the empty packet on the ground, making quick work of rolling the condom over his length. With his chin against his chest, he looks down, stroking his dick for good measure, his spit curl falls in front of his eyes, but he doesn’t bother to push it out of the way, he looks up through hooded eyes, glancing at you through the mirror, he almost wants to chuckle at the desperation in your eyes, but it gets stuck in his throat when you push your ass back against his dick, whining. 
His stomach flutters seeing you so desperate for no one but him. 
He grabs your hip with his left hand, pressing himself against you, he teases both you and himself by slipping his shaft through your wet folds, he watches the way you look at him, begging for more with your eyes as you push yourself up a little. 
He presses his palm against your lower back, pushing you down so your chest is flush against the marble counter, he lines up with your entrance and pushes inside of you slowly. Waves of pleasure rush through him in an instant. You scrunch your face up, lips parting as a sigh escapes you.  
You throw your hand back, reaching for his forearm, you grab it tightly as you shut your eyes and drop your head a little, your hair falls in front of your face, hiding all your pretty features.
Steve looks down, watching his cock disappear into your weeping pussy. 
“You take me so well, holy shit,” he murmurs under his breath. And it was the truth, you take him like no other, making you the most addictive.
He sinks into you, deeper and deeper, stretching you out and splitting you open, the tension inside of him grows and his heartbeat increases. He pulls out again, watching the way the condom around him glistens with your slick – how he wishes that he could feel you without it. He slams back in, making you gasp and arch your back in pleasure. He starts thrusting, in and out, deeply and slowly at first, but with an intensity that makes you open your eyes again.
“Steve!” 
“That’s right,” He grunts, reaching his hand forward, he grabs your hair and tilts your head back up, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror as he moves his hips faster, quickening his pace until he’s pounding you. “Look at who’s fucking you right now, Blondie.” 
The loudest moan falls from your lips, and you instantly bring your hand up to cup your mouth, panic flashing in your lust filled eyes. Despite the loud music, you are scared that someone might hear you, and it only prompts him to fuck you harder and rougher against the counter, holding you tighter as heat spreads in his chest – who do you want to hide from? Your friends, or Jacob? 
But while Steve worries about something that isn’t even on your mind, you are so far gone, so lost in the pleasure that you feel because of him, your insides so sensitive already, yet aching for more. You focus on the way he thrusts in and out of you, how heavenly it feels to feel him inside of you, to feel him in your stomach. 
You are so drunk on him that there is not a single thought in your brain, only him. 
No one has ever done this to you, no one has ever made you feel so weak, so submissive, so lost in the heat of the moment, no one has ever taken such control – you wouldn’t have let them, only he can have this. 
Your eyes turn glassy, rolling back as you throw your head back, your weak hand falling from your face again. 
“Yeah, as if that asshole could fuck you like this,” he grunts, letting go of your hair and moving his hand forward to cup your cheeks, “say it. Say no one can fuck you like this, Blondie, because I know it’s true.”
Your walls clench and flutter around him, a cry leaving you as he pulls your ass up a little, slamming in and out of you, hitting the spot that makes tears fall from your eyes, making him even more aroused than before. 
“Only you, Steve!” You sob as a tear spills down your cheek and onto his thumb. 
Your knees buckle and your body begins to tremble, sobs and moans turn into needy whines and whimpers, your flustered face decorated with pretty tears making his muscles tense in his stomach. 
You try to keep quiet as you press your lips together, trying to breathe calmly through your nose despite the pounding in your chest, when he suddenly changes the pace again, pounding you so hard that he knocks you forward, hitting so deep inside of your squelching pussy, that you can’t help but cry out loudly as stars blur your vision. 
“Stevie, Stevie, Stevie!” 
Steve nearly busts, eyes widening at the way you chant his name so desperately. His hips stutter a little and he has to suck in a sharp breath, eyes shutting for a moment. He twitches inside of you, and it doesn’t help that you keep clenching. 
The sound of the music, of laughter and voices outside are so far away, the only thing you both hear are your moans and how wet you are as his skin slaps against yours. 
He slows down a little, enough to make you whine again, to make you move back against him, trying to fuck yourself on his cock. 
“F-Fuck,” Steve moans, he opens his eyes again, reaching forward, he grabs your shoulder and pulls you up and against his chest before he lets his hand travel down your stomach, he pushes your dress out of the way, and his fingers find their way to your clit. 
A high pitched moan echoes through the room, your body shakes harder and you grab his forearm tightly as he rubs circles on your sensitive nub. 
He presses his lips to your neck, moaning himself as the tension in his stomach grows bigger and bigger. He kisses your delicate skin, his mouth brushing the dark marks he left. 
You cling to him, nails grazing his skin, you press the side of your face against his, staining his cheek with your tears.
“I know, baby, I know.” 
If only he knew just how such a simple yet special word affects your heart, making it beat faster and harder in your chest, setting all your insides on fire and igniting something in you that throws you into a pit of love and glee. 
Steve had never called you this before, and you could only dream of such sweet nicknames, until now. 
Your eyes roll back again, eyelashes fluttering as you squeeze them shut completely, mouth ajar as filthy noises fall. You’d fall over if it wasn’t for his strong arms holding you up, his fingers moving so fastly on your clit, his dick so deep inside of you, his lips biting gently on your skin, all it takes is another rough thrust and your body begins to shake for a different reason, you fall apart for him, once again. 
You don’t even feel yourself drooling, you no longer feel the tears spilling down your cheeks. 
“Good girl,” he whispers into your ear, kissing the spot behind it before he grabs your chin and tilts your head to the side so he can press his lips against yours, pulling you into a soft kiss as he keeps fucking you, chasing his own high. 
Steve furrows his brows, his muffled moan vibrating against your lips as he gives one last powerful thrust and spills into the condom, secretly wishing that he could spill inside of you and paint your walls white instead. 
His body relaxes after the high it had been on for the past minutes, muscles loosening, but lips still moving gently against yours. 
Both yours and his moans die down after a moment, but you’re still panting, trying to catch your breaths as you pull away from one another. You open your eyes, and look into his, the blackness slowly fading away and you see the pretty hazel color again. His tongue licks his bottom lip, eyes flickering between your own and the marks he left on your neck. 
A lazy smile appears on your face and you feign confidence as you tilt your head to the side and reach your hand up to move the spit curl away from his forehead, the tips of your fingers brushing his skin, he holds you tighter in response. 
“I didn’t think you could get so jealous, Steve,” you whisper, ‘jokingly’ but most of all, painfully to yourself.
You’d hope that he was jealous, that all of this was the result of the burning red emotion, but why would he feel jealous over you? 
Just the presence of Jacob was enough to bruise Steve’s ego. That’s all that it was.
You know he never liked the jock, and the fact that he got his hands on you first, must’ve hit a nerve. But it has nothing to do with you. Steve is not jealous of who you sleep with, he doesn’t care. He is just bruised cause he felt threatened with an ex hook-up you had, afraid of them stealing you for tonight.
Steve huffs at your words, shaking his head at you. He pulls out of you with a hiss, cursing under his breath. 
“Well, did you think I’d let him steal you away from me…?” He asks, clearing his throat as he adds, “tonight?” 
And then he looks down, not wanting to show his face, to show how jealous he really is. 
He doesn’t need you to know that. 
He slips his hand between your thighs again, adjusting your panties and putting them back in place before he fixes your dress, pushing it back down over your ass. 
Your eyes soften at his action, heart fluttering in your chest. 
It’s not the first time he does this, he always takes care of you – he cleans you up, he helps you put a shirt on your body whenever you stay over, whenever you’re too weak to move. He is good to you, gentle and soft, and that is dangerous, because despite the thoughts in your head, the logical part that tells you the truth, his actions keep putting false hope into your heart. 
You grab the counter, and on shaky feet, you step closer and hold onto it tightly, watching as he fixes himself next, throwing the condom and the discarded foil into the trash, he tucks himself back into his pants and steps towards the counter beside you to wash his hands. 
His lips are stained with your lipstick, his hair is messy and his cheeks are flushed – he looks so cute like this. 
You tear your eyes away from him and finally look at your own reflection, your eyes widen and you gasp in shock – not at the mascara that runs down your face, the messy hair or just how puffy your lips are, no, this is not exactly an unusual sight to see, but the marks on your neck are, because they are so much bigger and darker than they usually are. 
You throw your hand up towards your neck and turn to face him, “what the fuck, Steve?” 
He winces, quickly drying his hands before he turns to face you, as well. Eying your hand that is covering the hickeys he left, your big eyes filled with panic. He can’t help but think you look cute like this, with your hair all messy and your lips curled into a pout. 
“H-How am I gonna hide–”
He grabs your face and pulls you into a soft kiss, just a quick peck, one that is enough to cut you off. 
“You think I’m done with you and we’re gonna go back to the party?” He chuckles, caressing your cheek as he pulls away from your puckered lips, “no, we’re leaving, Blondie.” 
You gulp at his words and squeeze your aching thighs together as excitement rises back up in you. 
“So, fix yourself and meet me downstairs,” he murmurs, placing another soft kiss to your lips before he pulls away. “I’ll wait by the front door.” 
He takes another look at your neck, hiding his satisfied smirk by turning around. He unlocks the door and opens it, leaving you alone in the bathroom as he makes his way downstairs to find Eddie or Robin, to announce that he will be driving home a very sick Blondie. 
While a smirk keeps playing on his lips, you are panicking in the bathroom, not knowing how to hide the marks he left, what lie to come up with this time if Eddie sees and asks questions again. 
You do your best to fix your hair, running your fingers through it and wiping away the mascara streaks on your cheeks, and the smudged lipstick, that you only now realize, is still on his lips, he didn’t even bother to wipe it away – what an idiot. 
You step back and take a look at your dress, smoothing it down and moving your hands back to your hair. The marks on your neck are so strong, so very visible, you’re not even sure if foundation and concealer will be able to hide this. A groan falls from your lips. 
You should do the same to him, he surely won’t fix it with makeup. 
You press your palm against your neck, testing out how it will look if you just go out like this. 
“This looks so stupid,” you mutter to yourself, rolling your eyes. 
You pray that you won’t run into any of your friends on the way out, all you have to do is make it downstairs and to the front door. You haven’t seen much of Eddie before, and Robin is too busy with Vickie anyways. 
You take a deep breath and then you step out of the bathroom and into the hallway. It’s not as crowded as it is downstairs, but there are still a few people you have to pass, as you awkwardly keep your hand on your neck, pretending to scratch it. 
You feel eyes on you, but you don’t bother to turn around to look at them, not even caring if they heard you and Steve – as long as your friends didn’t hear, you’re good. 
Your legs are shaky, and walking in your platform heels feels like a workout after Steve just railed you into oblivion, your stomach still flutters, yet feeling empty at the lack of him. 
You walk down the stairs, carefully. You hope that your knees won’t buckle. 
The party is still in full swing, some Billy Idol song blaring through the speakers as the living room is still filled with dancing people. Red solo cups are everywhere, empty bottles and cans litter the counters and tables – poor Vickie will regret throwing a party when she wakes up tomorrow morning. 
Your eyes fall on him, the smug look on his face making you huff in annoyance. Steve enjoys seeing you struggle after what he just did to you, he licks his lips as his eyes run up and down your body, they flash with amusement when they fall on your hand, you see the way his shoulders shake, he is chuckling at you as he plays with the car keys in his hand. Smug bastard. 
You roll your eyes at him, and turn away, looking around to see if any of your friends are around, but the only people you see are strangers and a few known faces from school, you sigh in relief, knowing that you won’t have to lie into Eddie’s or Robin’s face. You return your gaze to Steve whose face is suddenly no longer as smug as it was a few seconds ago, his eyes aren’t even on you anymore, but rather on someone behind you as he looks over your shoulder. 
Someone calls your name, someone who is the reason for the rage on Steve’s face that you had already seen before. 
You turn around when your name is being called again, to find Jacob walking towards you. Oh. 
You grow flustered knowing that the fucked out look on your face is so very obvious. You can’t even hide it. 
He catches up to you, and he reaches his hand out to place it on your upper arm, “hi, there you are,” he smiles, towering over you. He is tall, much taller than you, even taller than Steve. 
You greet him back, forcing a smile. 
He furrows his brows as his eyes scan your face, his smile falling a little, a frown appearing instead, “are you okay?” He asks, worriedly. “Do you feel sick?” 
You shake your head and open your mouth to speak when the words get stuck in your throat after his hand leaves your arm and comes to rest on your face instead, surprising you and angering Steve. 
“Do you need me to take you home?” He asks, caressing your cheek. 
You would have moved, but you are frozen in place as you stare at him, completely caught off guard by his action and the look in his eyes. 
“I-I…”
A different hand appears on your lower back, one that your body instantly recognizes, because your skin heats up and your chest blooms with warmth – it’s scary how well your body knows him. 
Steve pulls you into his side, wrapping his arm around you, “I got her, she’s in good hands, Leeney.” 
Sometimes you wish that he knew how you felt about him, how your heart nearly explodes every time he says something only a boyfriend should say – maybe then, he would take pity on you and your heart. 
You melt into his touch, the smell of his cologne is so intoxicating. 
Jacob retracts his hand, he looks between you and Steve, his shoulders slumping a little as he steps back, he looks down at you, nodding, “alright.” 
“Come on,” Steve murmurs, squeezing your waist as he begins to pull you away, wanting you away from the jock and towards the front door. 
“Bye Jacob–”
“Wait,” he rushes forward, and reaches for your hand, placing a folded note into your palm. “Here, I’m not making the same mistake again.” He gives your hand a squeeze and smiles at you, not waiting for your response, he steps away and takes another glance at Steve, before he turns around and leaves. 
You stare at the note in your hand, you don’t have to open it to know what’s written on the paper. 
You fail to notice the absolute rage in Steve’s eyes, how much more intense it is than before, how tense the muscles in his jaw are, how it takes everything in him not to slam you against the wall and kiss you in front of Jacob and everyone else. 
He pulls you out of the house without a single word, he grabs your hand instead as he leads you outside, he shuts the door and the sound of music and the many voices begin to fade away as you both make your way to his car, which he parked on the side of the road. 
Your heels click against the cobblestone, your hands hold tightly onto his, you’re quiet, and so is he, but a storm is raging in his mind, and everything he felt before, now feels so much worse. 
Can he keep you when there’s other people who want you just as much as he does? – And even, in different, much more intimate ways? 
He saw the way Jacob looked at you, he wasn’t only interested in another quick fuck, he wanted more, and it irritates Steve, it makes his stomach churn uncomfortably, it makes his heart clench in his chest – it shouldn’t, there is nothing more between you than this, and yet, he is scared to lose it, the little secret that you both have, he isn’t ready to let it go, he isn’t ready to let you go and watch you fall into someone else arms. 
He wants to keep you, and he will do everything to make it stay that way. 
He knows that there is only one way to show you that he is the only you will ever need. At least, for now.
He opens the passenger door and lets go of your hand so you can get inside, eying the note that is still in your other hand. He closes the door once you’re seated, and he makes his way around his BMW, when he gets inside as well, he notices the now unfolded note in your lap and the number that’s written on it. 
He grits his teeth but bites back his bitter words. 
You won’t call him, he will make sure of that. 
It’s not easy to focus on the drive when his mind is in such a whirlwind and his eyes keep glancing back at the note in your lap, that you folded back together again. 
You aren’t looking at it any longer, your eyes are focused on the road and the passing trees. 
“What do you plan to do with that number, Blondie?” He asks, unable to hold back and hide the jealousy this time. 
You narrow your eyes at him, taking a look at his hands, you see how hard he is gripping the steering wheel when you take in the sight of his knuckles. The veins in his hands nearly popped. You gulp as your eyes move along his arm, muscles that are hidden beneath the black sleeve of his shirt peeking out just a little, his cheeks are red, his jaw clenched. 
He is angry, but a part of you can see through your insecurities. 
It’s not only his ego that was bruised, it’s not only the anger that shines through, there is more, so much more. 
The jealousy that only you ever felt is lingering in his eyes. 
He is jealous. 
Steve is jealous over you. 
And there is really no reason for him to feel that way, but you can’t stop the rush of excitement and happiness that floods through your body. 
If he felt that way before he dragged you into the bathroom, over an innocent conversation, what will he do now that Jacob has made an entirely new move?
Will you get another taste of what he gave you before?
Will he call you baby again?
You’re stepping into a dangerous territory, you know it, but the thrill over it makes heat pool in your stomach. 
“I don’t know, Lego Head,” you shrug, trying to keep a straight face as you look at him, “maybe I’ll keep it… You know, for when you don’t answer your phone.” You lie as you pick the note back up. 
Steve huffs, shaking his head in disbelief. 
He rolls down the window, giving you no time to react, he snatches the note from your hand and wastes no second to throw it out onto the road, letting it get lost in the darkness. 
“Hey!” You gasp as your eyes widen. 
“Whoops, my hand slipped,” he flashes you an innocent smile as he closes the window again. 
“What if I want to call him!?”
Your question makes him grip the wheel even tighter, knuckles turning white. 
“You don’t need him,” he mumbles. 
You sit up straighter, raising your brows at him, “oh really? I don’t? Why’s that?” 
Steve can’t take it any longer, the feelings inside of him boiling over, controlling all his actions now. 
He pulls the car off the main road, and drives into the isolated wooded area that leads to a stream, a hidden part of Lovers Lake that he only ever came to when he needed to clear his head. 
He slams his foot on the brakes and turns off the car, turning off the lights and unbuckling the seatbelt, he turns to you in anger, “because you literally just said no one can fuck you like I can!” 
Your heart begins to race, goosebumps rise on your skin, and you press your palms against the leather seat beneath you. The giddiness inside of you is now so difficult to keep hidden. 
“Ah, so that should make you exclusive,” you smirk, tilting your head to the side, “okay, well, maybe he got better–”
You don’t even get to finish your sentence, you don’t get to taunt him anymore as he turns his back to you and gets out of the car, slamming the door shut and rounding the car to get to you, he rips open the door on your side. 
“You don’t learn, do you?” 
“W-What?” 
“Get out.” He demands, not nicely. 
You frown at him, watching his stance and how angry he looks at you. “What the fuck–”
“Get out,” he repeats, in a much calmer yet angrier voice. 
You shiver at his command, and you take a deep breath as you unfasten your seatbelt, your heels hit the grass as you get out of the car. Steve places his hand on your back and pushes you out of the way so he can close the door before he opens the one to the backseat. He glares into your eyes, “get in.” 
Your frown transforms into a look of complete confusion as you look between his hand and the seat that he points at. 
“You’re making me change seats?”
He steps closer to you, “get the fuck inside, right now.” 
The demanding, aggressive tone in his voice doesn’t make you question him again, you swallow harshly and turn around, you place your hands on the leather seats as you crawl inside, moaning in surprise when he smacks your ass again.
He chuckles darkly behind you, “you really like that huh?” 
You glare at him over your shoulder, earning another slap to your other cheek, making you jerk and whine. 
He chuckles again and follows you inside, closing the door behind him, “noted.” 
The leather beneath you is cold, and you grip it tightly, sucking in a sharp breath, and just as you go to turn around and sit down, Steve’s strong hands grab at your hips, flipping you over and manhandling you underneath his body as he forces you to lie down on your back. He pushes your thighs apart, settling in between them, he presses his palms flat against the seat on both sides of your head. 
A shiver runs down your spine, not from fear, but from excitement, because he probably didn’t want you to realize he was jealous, but he is showing you. He is clearly showing you and you can’t help but feel absolutely happy, accomplished. 
You know that you’re in for something when you look into his eyes – you can’t even find the right words to describe the emotions that are lingering in them, but they make your inside flutter so wildly, you feel the need to clench your thighs together as he looms over you, but you can’t, he doesn’t let you. 
His nose brushes against yours, his hair falls in front of his eyes as he inches closer to you, his breath kissing your skin. 
“Has anyone ever put you in your place, Blondie?” He asks as he drums his finger along your shoulder, hooking it around the strap of your dress. 
“W-What?” You stutter, hating how weak and shaky your voice sounds. 
“I’m taking that as a no.” 
Steve drags the strap down, and he leans down to press his lips against your shoulder, “I wanted to be nice, baby,” he murmurs against your skin, “wanted to take care of you, but fuck, you leave me no choice.” 
You squirm beneath him, digging your nails into the flesh of your legs as you furrow your brows at his words. 
His lips ghost over your collarbone, his hand now pushing your dress down a little, he exposes your chest to him, and he traces the outline of your breast before his fingers pinch your nipple, making you whine again. 
“Time for you to understand–” He murmurs as he plants a kiss to your jaw, “-- that I’m the only one you need.” 
His movements are soft, his touches are gentle but to your surprise, they don’t stay that way, after a few more kisses, he flips the bottom part of your dress over, bunching it around your waist, he hooks his finger around your panties and tears them off of you, throwing them over his back, not caring where they land. His fingers trace your legs, hands finding their way to your heels, he unfastens the straps around your ankles, and takes them off before he returns his attention to where you need him the most. 
He teases you with his fingers, torturing your clit and chuckling darkly at the whines that start filling the space around you. 
Steve had been intense and rough before, but one look into his face shows you that you will get more tonight, so much more. 
He splits you open with his fingers again, sinking them into your soaked hole, he fucks you with them, he taunts you with his words and sucks more marks onto your skin, littering the other side of your neck and your chest with hickeys. He makes you see stars with the way he curls his digits inside of you and rubs your clit. 
To your surprise and confusion, he doesn’t let you cum, he pulls his fingers out and stops touching you when you’re about to fall apart, just like he did before in the bathroom. Nothing like this ever happened before. 
You don’t think anything of it at first, not when he seems desperate to fill you up in a different way. He fumbles with his pants and pushes them down, along with his boxers. He rolls a condom over his length again, one of many he has in the glove compartment because sometimes you two don’t even reach a bed when seeing each other, rushing to do it just as he did earlier, your mouth waters at the sight of his leaking, red tip. 
“C’mere,” he murmurs, grabbing your waist and pulling your weakened body on top of him, you instantly reach for his shoulders, grabbing them tightly as he gives you no time to react before he makes you sink down on his cock – you don’t mind. You are so needy, so wet for him that your juices soak your inner thighs. 
But you need to feel his skin on yours, so you reach for the hem of his shirt, and pull it over his head, he leans forward as you rip it off of him. You throw it on the seat and wrap your arms around his naked shoulders, pressing yourself against his hairy chest.
You are the first to start moving, rolling your hips and riding him slowly, but he isn’t satisfied with that, he wants something else, he wants more. 
Steve makes you bounce on his dick, he holds your hips harshly and uses you as though you’re a fleshlight, filling you to the brim and slamming you up and down on his dick, fucking you rather disrespectfully. 
He makes you fall forward, as your eyes shut at the roughness and the intensity. He is buried so deep inside of you, you’re not sure if you have ever felt this before. Tears blur your vision again that night, moans turn into whimpers and whimpers into cries, the pleasure so strong, so overwhelming. 
You throw your hand against the fogged up window, slamming your palm against it, leaving a handprint there for him. 
No words escape you, not even his name, the only thing you can do is fall limply against his body and hide your face in the crook of his neck as drool starts coming out of your mouth but the moment it touches his skin, Steve grabs the back of your neck and pulls you back to him again, so he can see your face. 
“Does he even get to see you like this?” He grunts, fucking up into you and watching the way you squeeze your crying eyes shut. “Drooling? Crying? I bet I’m the only one you’ve ever been this cock drunk for… aren’t I?” 
You nod your head wildly, panting and gasping as pain and pleasure mix together. He thinks it’s just physical, but there is so much more to it. You knew you would turn into this for him and just him, you’ve always known.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Steve lets go of your neck, making you fall back against him, he decides to tease you more by smacking your ass, causing you to jolt and whimper, filling him with satisfaction. 
He makes your pleasure the more unbearable, causing you to clench around him. 
And just like before, just as you’re so close to reaching your peak, he stops your movements all together, filling you with anger now, making you snap out of the haze he put you into. He stills and grabs you tightly, so you won’t move, he lifts you up and off his cock, biting back a groan. 
“W-What the fuck, Steve?” You cry out, “I-I was so close!” 
His eyes are nearly unrecognizable when he squeezes your cheeks together with one hand, forcing you to look at him. The angry sight in front of you, only makes you clench around him even harder. 
“You’re not cumming until I say so, Blondie.” It was stern, but Steve had a point to make, he needs to make it happen. 
You aren’t even aware of what is going on inside of his troubled mind, you could never even guess, not even when he flips you over and throws you down under him, placing your left leg over his shoulder. 
The position is quite cramping, but you forget about any kind of pain, when he sinks back inside of you and starts pounding into you with a force that makes the stars shine brighter and your heart race faster. 
Steve is not even focused on his pleasure, despite how good you feel around him, all that he can think about is your pleasure. He gives his all, he gives everything to kill any memory of what any of your other hookups did to you, of the pleasure they made you feel, of the pleasure he once made you feel. 
He snaps his hips into yours, fucking you so deeply and roughly, making his dick ache in pleasure. 
He surely never fucked anyone this way before. He never felt this angry before.
He watches you closely, the way your pussy flutters around his dick, the way you grip the leather beneath you, nearly ripping through it with your nails as tears of pleasure stream down your face and you tilt your head to the side with furrowed brows, your tits bouncing as he slams you back and forth on the seats. 
Your moans are so loud that anyone who were to pass by, would freak out and almost faint or call the cops. 
He is not even touching your clit, not even grazing it with his fingers, not giving it any pleasure again… yet. But he feels your fluttering walls, how tight you are getting around him, how high pitched your moans are getting – you are close, so close. 
And so is he, he keeps thrusting in and out of you, not tearing his eyes off of your beautiful face as he chases his own high, roughly and deeply. Your name falls from his lips, and his hips stutter as he finishes into the condom, groaning as your walls grip him tightly. 
Steve pulls out of you reluctantly, stopping your pleasure once again. 
He pulls your leg off his shoulder gently and places it back on the seat, giving it a squeeze.
His chest heaves up and down, he breathes heavily as he stares at you, biting back the chuckle when your eyes shoot open and a bewildered look crosses your face, the tears in your eyes still shining brightly as you raise yourself up on your elbows, frowning angrily at him. 
“You– I’m going to fucking kill you, Steve, it’s not fair!” Your bottom lip trembles, you are clearly very frustrated with him. 
He looks down to hide the amusement on his face, taking the condom off, he ties it up and throws it on the ground, making a mental note to throw it away later on. 
Steve tugs himself back into his boxers and pulls his pants up, not bothering with his belt just yet. 
He shakes his head at you when you squeeze your thighs together, hiding yourself from him. He hooks his hands around your knees, pulling you closer against him before he tears them apart again, exposing your glistening swollen pussy to him. 
He licks his lips as he hooks your leg around his hip, holding it there as brings his other hand back to your center, he bites down on his lip, looking at you with mischief in his eyes as he delivers a slap to your clit. 
“Wha– Steve!” You gasp in surprise and if he weren’t so determined, so centered on you, he would have been surprised by his action too. 
“Don’t worry,” he murmurs, using his pointer finger to tease your slit, he spreads your folds apart, and slips his middle finger and ring finger into your sopping pussy, he focuses on your face. 
Your angry features slowly relax again, mouth parting as he starts to move his fingers again, this time he does aim for your orgasm… and more. 
He moves slowly at first, rocking his fingers in and out of you, moaning himself at the noises he draws from your pussy. 
Despite the pleasure that you’re falling back into again, you grow flustered at the noises and raise your hands up to your face, covering it and hiding yourself from him, but your action only earns you another slap to your clit. 
“Uh uh,” Steve shakes his head at you, letting go of your leg, he reaches forward and grabs both of your wrists with one hand, dragging your hands away from your face, “don’t hide from me.”
“But–”
He curls his fingers into your g-spot, tearing a gasp from you. 
“No buts,” he grumbles, as he moves steadily, fingering your pussy roughly now. He angles his hand differently, the end of his palm now brushing against your aching clit every time he thrusts his fingers deeply into you. 
He shuts you up quickly, making every word, every sentence get caught in your throat. 
His left hand fondles your boobs, your waist, your stomach, your hip – he touches you everywhere, leaving every inch of your skin burning with desire. His fingertips dig deeply into your leg as he keeps you spread open, his thigh keeping your other leg from closing, as he abuses your cunt with his fingers that are much longer than your own. 
Your back arches in pleasure, your sensitive core crying for more. 
The feeling inside of you is different, new, but you aren’t surprised by it, he edged you three or four times tonight, tears of frustration fell from your eyes, those tears that are now caused by pleasure and sensitivity. 
Your whimpers are so erotic to him, just like the wetness he can hear as he is knuckles deep inside of you, stretching you open. He can see the goosebumps on your skin and the way your stomach tenses up, the way your breathing stutters. 
You are in bliss, he can see it on your face, there is not a single thought in that pretty head of yours. 
He leans down, pressing into you as he inches closer to your face, pecking your lips, “no one else can make you feel like this… no one.” He whispers against your lips, placing another kiss upon them before he moves to your marked up neck, ghosting over it and inching down to your chest, trailing kisses along the way to your boobs. He wraps his lips around your nipple, looking up at you, he begins to suck, adding more pleasure to your body. 
You belong to him. 
“Steve!” You whimper, throwing your hands into his hair, you let your fingers get lost in it. 
He moans against you, quickening the pace of his fingers, curling them even harder inside of you, making you shudder at the feeling, jolting even when he presses his thumb against your swollen clit. 
You tremble beneath him, the wave of pleasure being so strong that a sob falls from your lips, your fingers curling into his hair roughly, “fuck… baby,” you whine. 
A surprised whimper falls from his own lips, the nickname stopping every thought in his mind, for a second. 
Baby, Baby, Baby… 
No one has ever called him that, no one. The fact that you are the first, somehow makes it better, and he doesn’t even know why. 
The coil inside of you grows bigger and bigger, an unfamiliar feeling bubbles in your lower stomach, making drool form on your tongue and stars blur your vision. Your nerves feel as though they are on fire, your skin prickling as he fucks you roughly. 
“I-I’m so close,” you whimper and scrunch your face up as you move your hips a little, meeting his thrusts. 
He is so lost in you and your moans, he doesn’t even realize that he is biting, tugging on your nipple with his teeth until a new, higher moan escapes you. 
“O-Oh my god,” you whisper shakily as your eyes roll back, “S-Steve! That feels so good!” 
“Yeah?” He murmurs against you, lips returning to your neck, he pecks it a few times as he looks down, watching the way your thighs tremble, the way the muscles in your stomach tense so tightly and your chest rises up and down so much heavier than before, “your thighs are shaking so much… holy shit.” 
The pressure inside of you becomes so overwhelming, it feels a lot, it feels too much. 
“S-Steve,” you tremble, “t-that feels weird.” 
Your voice sounds so small, unsure, yet the moans won’t stop escaping you. 
“No, baby, you’re doing so good,” he whispers as he lets go of your leg, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek, he wipes your tears and brushes your hair out of your face, pressing his thumb against your bottom lip, “just trust me… let go for me.” 
You can’t bring yourself to open your eyes, not even when he starts peppering your face with kisses. 
The pleasure is too much, the pressure makes you panic slightly, but he doesn’t stop, if anything, he fucks you harder and faster with his fingers, keeping them curled inside of you, his palm keeps brushing your overstimulated clit. He is hoping to get what he has been seeking. You haven’t trembled this much before, and he is confident, he is so confident that you won’t forget this, that you won’t forget how he made you feel, that you won’t forget him. 
“C’mon,” he murmurs against your lips, “I know you want to.”
Your bottom lip shakes, the pressure threatening to explode inside of you, every inch of your body now burning and quivering. 
You let go of his hair and throw your hand down to wrap your fingers around his wrist, your eyes open, and you look at him through your blurry vision. 
Your moans and the squelching that gets louder and louder, sounds that are like music to his ears, making his stomach flutter and his dick twitch again – to his own surprise. 
“I-I can’t– too much, Steve!” You whine, nearing an edge you have never touched before, “I’m gonna–”
You never get to finish your sentence, because as Steve plunges his fingers in even deeper, and curls them harder. You can only throw your head back, a mix between a squeal and a whimper falling. 
Steve nearly stops all of his movements when you clench around his fingers like a vice. 
Your hips jerk upwards as liquids shoot out of you, and he gets to where he wanted. 
“H-Holy shit–”
Steve’s eyes widen, a chuckle of amusement and excitement leaving his lips, he stares at you in awe. Surprised at the tent in his pants, he is rock hard again. 
He keeps pounding his fingers in and out of you, not stopping his movements just yet. With a smirk, he leans down to kiss your cheek, cooing at you, “you’re such a good girl for me.” He says possessively. 
Your walls unclench around him, and he thinks it’s all, when you suddenly clench again, tighter than before, another shockwave rushes through your body, and you squirt even more, the leather beneath you becoming even wetter than before. 
Steve’s hand is drenched, up to his elbow, and so is the front of his jeans, his stomach and the window behind him. The evidence of how good he made you feel is all over his seats, filling him with pride. 
A satisfied smirk plays on his lips, he feels like he’s on top of the world, he feels like a fucking king again, knowing that he brought such pleasure to your body. 
He never even thought that this was possible, that this move in porn movies is nothing but a myth, but he had to try, he had to try it with you. It would have shamed him before to admit he had been watching more porn than usual just to do the things he sees with you, but now? He feels like he is the most intelligent person in the world.
Your body falls limp, whines and whimpers still filling the space around you, tears roll down your cheek as you’re trying to catch your breath. 
Steve pats your cheek, caressing it gently as he stares at you fondly, “hey, are you okay?” He whispers, unable to stop himself from pecking your lips. 
You nod weakly, still needing a moment to come down from the high. 
He keeps kissing you, playing with your hair as he caresses your skin, pulling his fingers out of you after a while, making you whine again. 
You open your eyes, struggling to keep them open after the intense orgasm you just had. You look into his eyes, they’re filled with victory. A proud smile playing on his lips. 
You raise your eyebrows when you notice the drops on the window, the wet seats, his soaked hands and the wetness beneath you. 
Heat rushes up to your cheeks, embarrassment rushes through you and you can’t help but gasp as you look around the mess that you made. Tears blur your vision, “o-oh my god!” You say weakly, shakily as you start crying, catching him off guard, “I-I’m so sorry, Steve!” 
You press your palms against the wet seats and push to sit up. 
Steve shakes his head at you, he cups your cheeks and shushes you by kissing your lips again, “fuck, Blondie, don’t cry – holy shit, that was so fucking hot,” he chuckles, “it’s just leather, sweetheart. And honestly, this feels like a fucking victory to me.”
You blink through your tears, looking at him with big and glassy eyes, your heart still pounds in your chest, shame swirling deeply in your chest. 
“Really?” 
He nearly faints at the look in your eyes. 
Who would’ve thought that Steve would ever get to see you like this or that he’d get to be the one to make you come undone so intensely? 
You are so vulnerable, right now. It tugs at his heartstrings, knowing that you struggle with emotions, that you hate showing weakness and tears – yet here you are, even if it’s only out of shame, it shows him that you trust him, even if only a little. 
You’re unaware of the fluttering in his chest that you cause, the warmth around his heart as he stares at you. He traces your cheek before he slips his hands down to your waist. 
You look so fucking cute. 
How can he not adore you when you look at him like this?
He gulps as he is completely aware of the way his heart feels. 
You’re going to be a problem, that’s for sure – but he can’t find it in himself to care, not now. 
He sits back and pulls you along with him, dragging you into his lap, he surprises you by wrapping his arms around your shaking, hot body. He pulls you into him so he can hug you, he cups the back of your head and makes you relax against his chest. He presses a kiss to your forehead, feeling the need to treat you gently, sweetly. 
Your breath hitches in your throat, his actions doing nothing to calm your racing heart.
It takes you a moment, but eventually, you calm down and close your eyes as you bury your face in his bare chest, his hair tickling your cheek a little. Steve runs his finger up and down your spine, making your heart race. 
Your body is aching, your legs are trembling, you nearly squeal when his crotch brushes against your center as you try to move closer to him.
“Wait,” he whispers, he grabs your waist again and changes your position, moving both of your legs over his thighs instead, so you don’t have to straddle him, and then, he pulls you back into his chest again. He brushes his fingers against your upper arm, stroking your skin softly, “is that better?” 
You nod. 
“Good,” he whispers, letting all his emotions guide him as he presses a kiss to your temple. 
“Y-You made me squirt,” you whisper, blushing. 
He chuckles, looking down at you and the way your cheek is pressed against his chest, “yeah Blondie, I made you squirt. I never did that in my life, you never did that in your life, we should put a memory plaque here.” 
Finally, a giggle falls from your lips, and you look up at him, amusement shining in your eyes. 
“I need a shower and sleep for like… three days straight.” 
Steve chuckles, squeezing you tighter, he finds himself liking the feeling of holding you this way, he can’t help but want to pull you closer. 
“I’m happy to provide all that for you,” he smiles down at you. 
Steve likes to see you in his clothes, he likes it when you take showers at his place and make his bathroom smell like your shampoo and your sweet body wash. 
He missed it last night. 
He clears his throat, his smile falling a bit, “why didn’t you uh… call me the past two days?” 
You hesitate, not wanting to show your face to him, you keep your head down. 
“Oh uh… I felt sick, nauseous, probably because of something I ate, maybe it was Eddie’s attempt at the homemade burrito…”
Steve’s mind was plagued with ugly thoughts after seeing you with Jacob, but this is beginning to ease his mind a little. 
“Wait so,” he blinks, sitting up straighter as he continues to look down at you, “you were home?” 
You nod, meeting his eyes, “where else would I be?”
It’s not exactly a lie, but it isn’t the whole truth either. You had an appointment in the morning, one that you had been nervously awaiting for weeks. 
The tension that remained leaves his body completely now, relief rushes through him, making him relax fully. 
“I thought… since Jacob was back–”
Your lips part in surprise as your eyes widen, before a smile appears on your lips. 
“Aw, is Stevie jealous and worried that someone is going to take his place?” You ask him, taunting him a little. 
Yeah, he actually is. 
But he can’t tell you that, can he? 
He pinches your ass with his fingers, a smirk tugging at his lips, “don’t get all bratty now, or I will show you how no one can replace me… again.” 
You’re a little taken aback by all the comments, by his actions today, by the softness of his touch, right now. He didn’t fight you on it. He just told you to not be bratty instead of telling you to stop thinking that way.
Today, he treated you as though you were his. 
He acted out of jealousy and was possessive over you, and in the end, he pulled you into his arms, treating you with such gentleness that it will surely leave a stain in your heart forever. 
This is dangerous, he is dangerous. 
He is giving you a glimpse of something that you will never have. 
He is showing you colors, you can’t ever see with anyone else. 
And maybe, this should be enough to make you run into safety, to protect your heart from the pain it will suffer when it’s all over. 
But in what world, would you ever run from him?
You know how this will end, but it won’t stop you from kissing his lips and letting him into you. 
He can break your heart and shatter your soul for all you care. 
It’s all his anyway. 
-
Eddie looked all over for you, the backyard, the kitchen, even the bathroom and the bedrooms, he was sick with worry as he searched for you. He got distracted when Robin forced him into a game of beer pong, with Argyle and Vickie, and lost sight of you. 
The girl ended up calming him down, when she told him that Steve took you home, you looked sick apparently. But Eddie knows better than that. 
He knows deep in his gut that his suspicions were right, that he wasn’t thinking into it too deeply. 
On his way out of Vickie’s house, he bumps into someone, turning around to apologize, he finds a very drunk Jacob, he raises his hands up, slurring out an apology, but then a confused frown appears on his face when he seems to recognize him. 
“Munson, you’re friends with her, right?” 
“Huh, with who?” Eddie mumbles, tilting his head. 
Jacob says your name and Eddie blinks a few times and slowly nods, “best friends actually, what of it?”
The tall jock smells like beer and weed mixed together as he steps closer, invading his space a little. 
“Well, I mean, is she dating Harrington or something?” Jacob asks, shaking his head. 
Eddie raises his eyebrows, curiosity sparking inside of him. 
“Um…” He could say no, he definitely could, but Jacob seems like a source of information right now, and he decides to use this opportunity to find out more, “what makes you think that?” 
“Well, the fact that this guy cockblocked me two times tonight is the main one. Tried flirting with her and he just pulled her away and even dared to glare at me as if I were the one interrupting his conversation, man." Jacob is slurring, rambling, and he just looks like a guy that lost the opportunity, not someone who would push you into a date or something. 
But Eddie is stunned by the revelation, so he pressed forward.
“Two times?”
“Yeah, the first one he took her somewhere as soon as I started talking to her, and the next he interrupted us so he could leave with her... Say sorry to Harrington for me, she didn't tell me she was dating him,” he mumbles, waving his hand as he rolls his eyes and steps.
Eddie’s gears work, trying to figure out a way to confirm all of this, but for now, the information is enough, his suspicions only growing with certainty. A small honest smile appears on his face and he pats Jacob on the shoulder.
“Thank you Leeney. I'll make sure to let Stevie know.” 
The blond nods and steps away, giving him a weak smile before he walks off, leaving Eddie by himself. 
His dark brown eyes flash with understanding and realization, a laugh of disbelief falling from his lips as he puts all the puzzle pieces together. 
He brings his hand up to his chin and shakes his head when he thinks of the marks on both yours and Steve’s skin. 
A scoff falls from Eddie’s lips. 
“Chandler and Heidi, right.” 
tagging friends and mutuals
@prettyboyeddiemunson @mysticmunson @taintedcigs @joekeerysmoles @ibellcipem @maroon-cardigan @sherrylyn628 @corrodedcorpses @munsonlore @munson-mjstan @agirlwholovesrockstars
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pinkrelish · 1 year
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 "𝐲𝐞𝐬" 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐲.
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singledad!mechanic!eddie x fem!reader
✶On Monday, he was a ghost. By Friday, he was a man. Saturday night? He was the unintentional third wheel to your and Adrie's Trick-or-Treating antics.✶
NSFW — slow burn, fluff, flirting, mutual pining, reader wears eddie's jacket, light angst, 18+ overall for eventual smut, drug/alcohol mention/use
chapter: 4/20 [wc: 10.8k]
↳ part 01 / 02 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 / 07 / 08 / 09 / 10 / 11 / 12
AO3
Chapter 4: Ghost Days
Eddie went through Monday like a ghost.
A spectacle in his youth, now a specter. A phantasm phasing through walls. Not a hello, nor a goodbye. Existing in the corners of the room, watching. No attention on him, just working, and thinking. Tending to his dying garden of thoughts when the sun didn’t shine. Moving around you, and the tug of your gravitational pull, with your gaze firm on the desk in front of you, not on the haunt who brought this upon himself, and hurt you in the process.
“You okay, Eddie?” his uncle asked, running a hand up and down his back. “You’ve been staring at that pot of boiling water for ten minutes.”
Eddie fluttered his lashes at the bubbles bursting on the surface. “Sorry, got a lot on my mind.”
————
Tuesday, Wednesday he was a full-body apparition.
No morning smiles, no afternoon laughter, but a single sentence.
“Oh!” You hugged the files to your chest, not knowing Eddie was passing in the hallway to break room right as you were leaving Mr. Moore’s office. Several of the papers crinkled from running into him. Your eyes were screwed shut, expecting an impact. All signs Eddie was real; a thing of worth, a precious brick wall who cupped your arm when you stumbled, who slotted his thumb in the crease of your inner elbow. A chest to brace your hand against. Fingers grasping his dirty coveralls. He was there. He caught you.
And the next day–
“Eddie?”
Your sudden presence scared him. He slammed his black spiral-bound notebook shut and kept his palm over the devil-horned skull he drew on the front.
Sat alone at the table to eat his lunch, the low drone of the vending machines camouflaged the sound of you approaching, and he was too absorbed bin what he was writing down to notice you had entered the break room. Did not realize how close you had gotten until the heel of your palm pressed into a particularly sore muscle in his back from how you steadied yourself on his chair as you bent over.
You picked your gaze up from the notebook, and landed on his eyes. Even if you didn’t mean to, the knot between your brows relaxed the smallest degree–a nearly imperceptible amount–but with how he drank in your appearance, he detected it.
“You wrote O2 for this part here, did you mean X2?” you asked, referring to the invoice in your hand. He watched you bring the question to life. Voice and lips working together to create a lullaby for the unrest in his head. Breath cooling the wet trace of his tongue on his lips.
He was desperate for interaction. He knew. You were too. You just hid it better.
“Eddie,” you reminded him, keen on the five-o’clock-shadow peppering his cheek from neglecting a shave.
If things were different, would you have caressed your thumb along the grain? Would you have pushed his bangs off his forehead, run your fingers through his hair, and pressed your lips to the delicate curve of his temple? Would you tell him he was a good dad for fixing the water heater again, and getting his daughter to school on time, even when he wanted to do nothing more than lay on the couch and cry?
“X2,” he confirmed, “Yeah, I meant X2. Sorry.”
————
Thursday? He was corporeal.
Carl returned from his stay-cation. Stay-at-home-vacation, also known as his wife’s birthday.
He was taking a break in his story to microwave his lasagna when the fading voice of a customer went out the front door, ringing its chime. There was shuffling in the lobby. A backpack being unzipped.
The microwave beeped, and Carl picked up his container with the tips of his fingers, bringing it over to the table, where he sat in the chair facing the hallway.
You walked in with your lunch container, saw the back of Eddie’s head, and walked out.
Carl watched Eddie’s demeanor wilt at the swift exit, gaze falling to the corner of his eyes in acknowledgement of where you were just standing. Face blank, except for the heavy depression drifting his eyelids half-closed. Posture sagged more than normal.
“Is Adrie excited for Saturday?” Carl asked, keeping the conversation light, because boy, did he know that heartbroken look.
“Mm?” Eddie jerked his head up, attentive. He processed the question, and crowded his packed mish-mash of leftovers to his chest, chewing his horrible attempt at replicating Wayne’s pork chop supper as he talked, “Oh, yeah, yeah. Free candy and seeing her friends? She’s been bouncing off the walls all week.” He stabbed an undercooked carrot and brandished it with the same motion he rolled his eyes. “But,” he drew out for comedic effect, “She wanted to dress up as a bat again. Great! Same as last year. No problem, right? So, I take out her costume from the closet, have her try it on, and you know what she says?”
Carl shook his head with a slow grin stretching across his face.
“It’s not pretty enough!” Eddie ate the carrot. “She never wants to be a princess, but all her friends do, and now she’s gotten it in her head that if her costume doesn’t have the same glitter and pizzazz theirs does, it’s not good enough.”
He laughed, “My boys were easier. When they fought over who got to be Donatello, and who got to be Michaelangelo, all we had to do was switch mask colors and weapons.”
“See, they knew what they were doing with the Ninja Turtles, man. Easiest costumes to reuse.”
“Exactly.”
“Now I gotta figure out how to navigate telling her most of the stores are sold out of everything.”
“It’s a toughie, that’s for sure.”
The conversation ended with two knowing nods, sharing the same shallow gripes about parenthood. Carl finished his meal first, and left the table to return to work, while Eddie picked away at his, submerging himself in his thoughts.
A recent drizzle cast Hawkins in a misty haze. The drink machine clicked, and the steady hum rose to a higher frequency. Footsteps squeaked down the hallway. The nervous hand of a once confident woman gripped the doorframe, and she leaned into the room, speaking in a small voice, “I can help.”
Eddie perked up. Head visibly lifting, shoulders drawn back and down. He didn’t respond. Not until he turned around in his chair, and you persevered through the awkward amount of eye contact; wide and unblinking.
You reiterated, “I can help fix up Adrie’s costume so it’s glittery.. Or whatever you said.” Totally not eavesdropping. You waited for a response. “More her style,” you mumbled, filling the void when he forgot what words were.
“Y-Yeah! That–Uhm.. Yeah, you have that kind of stuff?” He clutched onto the back of his chair, knuckles white, bending the plastic from the weight he leaned on it. His face was of equal intrigue, eyes pleading for more interaction, lips parted for more questions, eyebrows pinched in and upwards to show his humility. His thanks.
In a valiant effort for normalcy, you started with a self-deprecating comment, “I mean, it’s not like I was performing on Broadway with a whole costuming department’s worth of tailors, you know. Bobbie and I had to pull all-nighters to finish our own shitty ensembles, so I’m pretty handy with a glue gun, and my sewing skills are serviceable, if I do say so myself.” You stepped further into the break room to put your unfinished lunch in the fridge. “I have tons of fabric and crafting supplies left over. Seriously, I don’t mind spicing up her costume if you wanna bring it by tomorrow. I think I can make something she likes.”
“Are you sure? You don’t have to–”
His mouth sealed itself shut at the incremental smirk sneaking its way across your face.
“Well, you see,” you said, exuding pure charisma, “Now you’ve gone and phrased it in a way which enacts my policy. I have to say ‘yes.’”
Given his current state, Eddie was little more than a mess of nerves; sleeping in uncomfortable positions that had his bones aching due to Adrie’s fear of monsters under her bed sending her to sleep with him on the couch; along with the general up-and-down rush of stress when he passed by your desk, and nothing came of his sad glance in your direction.
Unfiltered relief slipped past his chapped lips as he looked up at you, “Thank you.”
————
By Friday, he was a man.
Eddie skipped his morning cigarette. He wore his lucky Metallica t-shirt under his coveralls. Adrie had to beg him to release her from his powerful hug this morning, flailing her arms and pretending to choke, until the other parents in the carpool lane stared, and he relented.
He walked into the garage’s lobby with sure steps, making a quick stop behind the receptionist desk to drop off a neatly folded pile of black fabric. Then, he looked down the shadowed hallway leading to the lively break room, and he breathed deep.
You were framed by the doorway. Your back was to him, bent over the sink, just beginning to wash the coffee pot.
One thing was for certain.
If anything ever happened between you two and it didn’t pan out, work would be weird. That much he learned this week. And that was just another reason to keep his boundaries up. Another good fucking reason to apologize, turn around, and go back to being cordial work buddies, and have that be the extent of your relationship.
And yet, here he was, flirting with the ring of fire he lit himself.
Crossing his arms, he squeezed his biceps, and leaned his shoulder on the wall outside the room, mind racing as he organized the same speech he rehearsed hundreds of times this morning. “Can we talk?”
Now, the unfortunate thing about rehearsing one-sided speeches was the unpredictability of which you’d follow the script.
“If you’re here to apologize–again–for spending a runtime of 83 minutes with me because it was just that awful, I’ll scream.”
Eddie had to manually force himself to relax out of his wince. “I deserved that,” he exhaled, speaking to himself only. He deserved your stern tone, your angry way of scrubbing the pot. The stiffness between your bunched shoulders. The tight annoyance in your throat from the way he treated you.
Yesterday was a nice break from the tension, but he hadn’t yet made amends, despite the olive branch you extended to him in the form of fixing up his daughter’s costume. “What if I apologized for something else?”
“The jury’s still out on that one.”
“Good enough,” he said. “Listen, ah, I’ve been reflecting on what happened Friday, and I realized I came across like an asshole,” –He shut his eyes, and shook his head– “I was an asshole, whether I meant to be, or not. I mean, yeah, I had a lot on my mind, but that doesn’t justify my behavior in blowing you off like that, especially when you were nothing but nice to me when you saw they set us up together, and you just wanted us to have a good time.. I can tell I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry.”
You rinsed out the soap suds and filled the pot with water, turning off the sink.
There, he apologized, now he should turn around, and go back to being cordial work buddies.
But he was so fucking stupid.
Committing to something he may come to regret, he entered the break room and stopped when he came to the counter beside the sink, bending sideways to rest his arm there, and kicking out his hip. “I didn’t even get to tell you how pretty you were.”
Immediately, you angled yourself away to pull the coffee machine towards you, and poured water into the reservoir.
Eddie let out a groan as his brain caught up with his mouth. “I meant are. How pretty you are..” he spoke at your back while you still refused to acknowledge him. “I meant to say how pretty you are.”
His stomach seized. None of this was going how he planned, so.. fuck it. “I think you’re really pretty right now, actually.”
Nothing seemed louder than his quick breaths, and heart beating in his throat.
The longer you went silent, he considered getting a new job bagging groceries for the supermarket they built on Cherry Street last year.
You slotted the pot onto the hot plate, and opened the cabinet in front of you, blocking his view of you as you reached for the coffee container. But when you closed the door, he had to clench the tremble of annoyance out of his hands.
Try as you might–lips scrunched to the side, cheeks sucked in, making a big production of counting the spoonfuls of grounds you scooped into the filter basket–your smile was obvious. Obvious, and irritating; leading him on as if his advances were a worse offense than his attitude after your date.
“Fine, fine,” you sighed like you were doing him a favor. “I guess you’ve appealed to my ego enough for me to forgive you.”
“You’re the absolute worst person I’ve ever–”
“Yeah. But you think I’m pretty.”
“Whatever,” Eddie grunted, tugging a strand of hair over his mouth, embarrassed to hear his own honesty repeated back at him. “So we’re good?”
You had a sarcastic statement ready on your tongue–he saw it in how you narrowed your eyes, and tipped your head. A loftiness to the way you regarded him; all pompous and teasing and so sure he was being silly and asking questions for the sake of bothering you.
Then, you witnessed his shy quirk, and were instantly disarmed.
“Yes, Eddie, we’re good. The best of friends.. And are you sure you weren’t disappoint–”
“If you’re about to ask me if I was disappointed that you were my date for the third time, I’ll scream.”
You laughed. You tore your gaze from his fingers playing with his curls, and closed the lid of the coffee machine, but in doing so, you turned away, and you both discovered a subtle truth about him.
Eddie was the type who wanted to witness the full scope of the joy he brought on others. When he made someone laugh, he wanted to drink it all in. He wanted to observe the exact way they smiled, how far back they threw their head, if their eyes closed with mirth, if tears sprang, if they giggled to appease him, or if they were expelling a cathartic release. When he made someone happy, he leaned in to hoard the revelry, collect it, and share it. Seeking out their gaze, mirroring them to experience their pleasure first-hand. It’s what made him happy.
It caused him to encroach on their personal space subconsciously, pursuing the pride, and sense of achievement he felt when he accomplished making someone else feel good.
He stood close to you. Very close to you, studying you unabashedly, basking the pure unadulterated validation of making you smile.
You idly scratched your thumbnail over a stain on the counter. “Pretty, huh?” you mused quietly. “Is the hoodie really doin’ it for ya?” It was once black, now sun-faded and overwashed. There was a logo on the front for a random high school. Your high school, Eddie assumed. Clearly, a beloved item, and one you wore when doing craft projects, as indicated by the layers of glitter, dried paint, and burn marks from a hot glue gun marring the sleeves.
Still leaned over, he dropped his hand from his mouth, and swept his hair to one side, exposing the length of his throat. “Maybe it is.”
“Shut up,” you snorted.
“The frumpy ‘just rolled out of bed at noon and forgot to get milk at the grocery store’ look really gets me going.”
“Frumpy–?” In the middle of pressing the ON button and shoving the coffee machine into its place on the counter, you went to pin Eddie with a glare for laying the teasing remarks on thick today, but your attention drifted. Your focus found his eyes shining with slyness, and dropped your gaze to the crook of his neck, where you spied something dastardly. “How does this keep happening? Do you not look in a mirror?”
As you nagged him, you reached for his coveralls. Somehow, the collar kept managing to tuck itself on the inside, and you were at its beck and call, slipping two fingers underneath to unfurl it, coaxing it out in a long stroke over the peak of his collarbone, and down the slope of his chest, over his heart. Longer than two beats worth. The fabric was quite rolled up today. You had to slide along his lucky shirt to find the pointed end, and pull it out, laying it flat. Smoothing down the edges, and securing his tan work jacket over it. Patting them both to seal the kind gesture.
From his periphery, he watched you tend to him, and his smirk grew.
Fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
“Guess I don’t look at myself too often,” he said, eyeing your hands lingering on his person–flattening your palms over his pec for a prolonged moment before retreating–and he nodded for you to follow him out of the room to your desk. He needed the extra seconds away from you to rid himself of his smugness.
Talking about the costume, he rounded to the taller side of your desk, while you sat opposite him in your chair, “Luckily it was big on her last year, so it still fits. It’s just a little short in the legs.”
“Gotcha.” You shook out the bat wings and rubbed the fuzzy material of the suit between your fingers. “Does she have room for another layer underneath? Warm pajamas, or something? The temperature’s supposed to drop tonight. I think a cold front is coming in.”
“Yeah, there’s room.”
“Okie dokie.” You cracked your knuckles and looked at him expectantly. He raised his eyebrows. You raised yours higher. You made a more obvious face. He made a confused one back at you. “Dude, leave. I can’t work with you watching me.”
He curled his lip in a mocking sneer, and went to work in the garage, where–ironically–you could watch him.
~~~
Turns out, you were serious about the double standards of your relationship.
Eddie caught you sneaking glances in his direction whenever he’d wheel out from underneath a car, or when he was bent over the engine of a truck, but as soon as he took his sweet time locating his favorite socket wrench from the tool cabinet (that most definitely wasn’t already in his back pocket), you blocked your project with your body and moved your lips like you were telling him off.
And when he knocked on the glass to gesture for more clean rags from the supply closet, you scrambled to hide the felt shapes you were cutting out, and sent a tube of glitter paint rolling across the lobby.
Even as he relaxed into the plush seat of his car after a long day of work, and the rumble of the engine soothed his mind from exterior worries, his eyes traveled from the bright red stop light swaying in the wind, to the custom crimson interior of his Dodge Omni Shelby, to the pile of black fabric next to him.
He drove with one hand on the wheel. He could just.. take a peek at what the hell you were doing all day.
“Don’t even think about peeking! It’s a surprise. I want Adrie to see it first, and then you can look when she’s trying it on.”
He snatched his wandering fingers away from the bat wing and cupped them around his inner thigh–his usual place for resting them.
~~~
When he opened the door to his trailer, the little lady of the hour came running at him full-speed.
“There’s my facehugger!” Eddie announced through his laugh, stepping backwards to soften the blow of her enthusiasm. And yeah, maybe he shouldn’t refer to his daughter as a parasitic alien from a horror franchise, but the clinginess comparison was accurate.
Adrienne made her immediate attempt to climb him known–clutching onto the hem of his work jacket, and shaking it. “Daddy!” she demanded, making grabby hands at him.
“Hold on, hold on.” He knelt to her level, and promised to pick her up in a few minutes if she exhibited an ounce of patience. “You remember that nice lady from work you drew pictures with?” Thinking about it, she twisted back and forth with excess energy, and gave a big nod, pressing her fingers along her smile. “Well, she heard your costume wasn’t up to your standards, so she wanted to make your Halloween extra special this year. She worked on this all day..” he said slowly, drawing out the grand reveal.
True to his word, Eddie unfolded the outfit he had clutched under his arm, and held it out in front of him, showing it to her first and watching her reaction.
Uncle Wayne opened the bathroom door in the midst of tidying up his beard, dragging a towel around his neck to wipe away the excess shaving cream. Interested in the commotion, and especially curious as to why the person he referred to as his own granddaughter was currently running around the coffee table screaming at the top of her lungs, he questioned anyone who could hear him, “What’s all this goin’ on?”
“The lady at work made my bat costume pretty–Look!” Adrie tugged on the bottom of Wayne’s flannel.
“I see,” he said, vaguely recalling the young receptionist she was referring to. He raised his eyebrows at Eddie. “She did all that?”
He shrugged. “She’s nice.”
Too excited, Adrie unzipped the back of the jumpsuit and climbed in while Eddie held it open. Still, he did not peep at the finished product. Not until every foot wiggled out of the appropriate amount of leg holes, and every sleeve found a hand.
Adrienne walked backwards into the living room and struck a pose with her arms out, flapping them.
Wayne ‘aww’d and clapped.
Eddie sat back on his calves, mouth slightly agape.
You really were nice.
The costume was magnificent. The black fleece was painted with thin strokes of white paint to give the illusion of hair, with special attention around the turtleneck collar where you glued white faux fur into a short mane. Cleverly, the pants were extended with layers of iridescent tulle that caught the light in shimmery rainbows, disguising how short they were on her.
The wings themselves were works of art. Showstoppers. Instead of hanging limp from under her arms, you had used flexible plastic to create bones, giving them some structure.
They were exactly what Adrie wanted. Silver glitter served as a mere backdrop to the myriad of foil stars glued to the fabric. As one’s attention panned downwards, they grew in size and frequency, until there was a disco ball amount of flash and pizzazz. To top it all off, there were felt clouds and crescent moons dangling on strings from the bottom. The stuffed and stitched celestial motifs swung with Adrie’s grand gestures.
And as if that wasn’t enough, Wayne picked up two little black triangles that bounced onto the carpet when Eddie revealed the costume. “C’mere, Adrie,” he said, holding them up to her head. “You’ve got two little ears on barrettes, too.”
“Jesus,” Eddie exhaled.
His next breath caught in his throat. He discovered why you snipped the fabric where it was previously attached to the suit, and gave it an extra bone structure to wrap around.
It was so he could slip his arms around his daughter, and hug her tight without any impediments. “You like it, yeah?”
She threw her arms around his neck, and imbued all her surprise into her little voice, “Are you kidding me? It’s my favorite–the best costume ever! I love it.”
“We’ll have to find a way to thank her when I see her on Monday.”
The hug lasted until Eddie’s knees ached. Still, he clung to her as one clung to a lifesaver. He passed his palm over her hair. He stroked his thumb on the back of her head. He pressed her into the darkness against his throat. He squeezed her to conceal the way he shook. If anyone were to notice the secret of his actions, it would be the person who raised him as one would raise their own son.
Wayne walked over and ruffled his nephew’s hair.
~~~
Later, after Adrie had gone to bed, Eddie confessed, “That took me so off guard, I almost cried. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for me, or Adrie, in years.. I mean, outside of everything you do for us. And Steve, too. I just didn’t expect her to put that much effort into a costume.. Or to care that much.”
“I know, son,” Wayne said, patting him on the knee as they sat on the couch, lit by the muted earthy tones of the local news channel. “She seems real nice.”
————
It was a howling Halloween night.
Eddie pulled off the main road into the nice neighborhood on the west side of Hawkins. Everyone knew you went to the rich houses on Halloween, as evident by the agonizing minutes it took to find a place to park, while Adrie was oblivious and just wanted out of her car seat.
Crowds swarmed the doors handing out the best candy. Groups of friends gathered in the streets. Kids ran down the sidewalk to ogle the elaborate decorations. “Is the entire population here, or somethin’?” Eddie grumbled, shifting the gear stick into park.
Once Adrie was out, he asked her, “Do you wanna stop by a few houses on the way to Steve’s?” She eyed the rowdy bigger kids pushing each other on their way up the driveway next to her, and she held out her hand for Eddie to take as a silent answer.
When she was with her friends, she was outgoing, but in this unfamiliar place, surrounded by strangers in the dark, she needed her dad to guide her.
“You’ll feel better once we have some candy in your bucket,” he promised, swinging the orange jack-o-lantern pail back and forth.
In reality, Eddie dreaded this part. Hated it. Going up to houses, knocking on doors, glancing away the second they were answered. He dressed differently. Tried to blend into the back of a big group. Kept his gaze on his daughter shying behind his legs, speaking for her, and hoping her cuteness distracted the adults from taking too close of a look at him. Shuffling away before they could recognize him, remember his last name, and make that same face they always did:
Barely concealed disgust.
Eddie held her hand for several streets until she felt comfortable going up to doors without him, thanks to finding a friend or two from preschool. Those parents were easier. Some he’d gotten to know over the last two years due to birthday parties and school events. Yet, they returned his greeting out of politeness. Waited on the sidewalk like him, but at a distance; in a circle, not inviting him to their grown-up talk.
That’s okay. He felt less alone when Adrie came jogging back to show him her candy. And although she insisted she was a big girl and didn’t need to hold his hand anymore, she walked as if she were glued to his side, three steps to his one stride.
“I don’t need you, Daddy.”
“Yeah, you do.”
On and on, they made their way up the streets, and came upon a white-picket fence dwelling sat modestly between two larger statements, right as the porch light turned off and a group of people left the home.
Fate was a funny thing.
Steve held the gate open for Nancy and whispered something in her ear as she passed, earning a withered glare before she turned and the moon caught the smile flitting across her lips. Behind her, dashing from the shadows, was their son. He held his plastic sword high above his head, and gave a brave battle cry against the person who emerged next.
Robin, also dressed as a pirate, jumped from the top of the stairs and clashed her sword with his. They tussled on their way to the fence, stopping when she feigned a dramatic death, and had to chase down her tricorn hat from rolling into the street.
Eddie’s hand was sweating–Adrie said so with a yuckiness to her words as she ran to join Steve’s son and their group of trick-or-treaters, leaving him behind to stare. And stare. And stare. And try not to burst into a grin.
He wouldn’t have to wait ‘til Monday to thank you.
Step by step, you helped their daughter teeter down the stairs. Patiently holding her hand, encouraging her to the bottom, and brought her to Steve, who was getting out the stroller from the trunk of his car.
“No! I’m–I.. Will walk,” their little girl finished in a disjointed manner, engrossed by the array of bedsheet ghosts, lispy vampires, and corn-syrup-blood-covered werewolves moving around her.
“Yeah, okay, kid,” Steve said sarcastically. “You wanna be a big girl and walk on your own, but we both know after two houses you’re gonna be begging for the stroller.”
Like most girls, she brushed him off, and turned to you for assistance with her jacket. The puffy orange snow suit hindered her movements; her walk was a waddle, and her arms stuck out from her sides helplessly. She was warm, though.
You, on the other hand, were dressed in what Eddie could only call an adult onesie. A fitted one; hugging you in places he shouldn’t notice it hugging you while you were squatting down to zip up her jacket, but a onesie, nonetheless.
“There we go.” He heard you say from where he stood, roughly a car-length away, lurking in the darkness like a creep.
But he’d have to find a way to repent later. His fate tapped you on the shoulder, and his heart set the tempo for his plucky courage’s passion.
“Adrie!” you squealed at her. She greeted you with equal fervor. “Your costume is so, so pretty!” Without a second thought, you bent over, put your hands on your thighs, and asked while waggling your eyebrows, “Wanna fly?”
“Yeah!”
Adrie unveiled her full glittery wingspan, and you clasped her under her arms, instructing her to jump. Up she went. You raised her above you to your full extent and spun in circles. Giggly, messy circles. Showing her off for everyone to see. Parading her for the slew of compliments coming from onlookers. And when your strength tired, you brought her to your hip, and held her tight, still spinning. Dizzy, silly twirls. Savoring the closeness of your foreheads almost touching.
You slowed to stop to scan the scene around you, searching the shapeless night. “Where’s your dad, hmm?”
She pointed behind you.
Over your shoulder, your gazes connected in between a family dressed as Peanuts characters.
Eddie raised his hand, but forgot to move it back and forth.
Your face brightened. The love you showed Adrie reflected in your eyes when you found him. Smiling bigger, somehow, at his stupid wave when he remembered how to perform one.
“Nice costume,” you teased, sauntering up to him with a swagger. “Light-wash blue jeans instead of black. How different.”
“Yeah, and what are you? A cat? So creative.” He meant it as an insult to your gray onesie with a tan belly, but he was the one who followed your quick glance at his stupid hand still waving like an utter moron, and he stuffed his fists in his pockets, wondering if he’d ever recover his dignity after this encounter.
“Uh, I’m clearly a mouse,” you drawled, inclining your head to show off your rounded mouse ears on your headband.
Adrie copied your exact tone and inflection to serve as a gut punch, “Yeah, Daddy, she’s clearly a mouse.”
His greatest fear mocked him. With Adrie on your hip, and your two matching smirks taunting him with your cheeks pressed to one another, he shook his head, and pinched his eyebrows up in worried exasperation. “I don’t need two of you.” A revelation he should take more seriously as you looked at Adrie, and you both giggled. Tips of your noses grazing. Hugging you around your neck. Touching your animal ears and calling you ‘Miss Mouse.’ Thanking you for her costume, and you asked, seeking her genuine approval as you fitted one of her tiny hands in yours to stretch a wing out.
“You like it?”
“I love it!”
You swayed with her in the new position, resembling two people slow dancing despite there being no background music other than shrieks of laughter, and a chorus of “trick-or-treat!”
Yeah, this feeling in his chest was evolving past the boundaries.
Shit.
Eventually you had to support her with two arms again, thus ending your waltz, and you remembered Eddie was there, and Eddie remembered to direct his tender expression at his daughter.
“So, really,” you said, nudging his white tennis shoes and giving him a once-over, “Who’re you supposed to be? A grumpy guy who couldn’t be bothered? A wet blanket?” You leaned in. “Don’t tell me you’re dressed as a stick in the mud for the second week in a row. That’s just gauche, Eddie.”
Adrie latched onto one word specifically. She pointed at him with all her might, and declared, “Grumpy! You’re Grumpy.”
“Great,” he groaned. Yet, there was not a trace of annoyance tugging at his lips–just his tongue poking through as his daughter reduced him to an unpleasant character. “Tell her what movie you watched this morning.”
“I watched Snow White with grandpa,” she said. You gave an understanding ‘ahh.’ “Grandpa is Sneezy. Daddy is Grumpy. You can be..”
“I’ll be Dopey.”
Eddie snorted, “Fitting.” You cut him a soft frown, and he shifted his focus back to his daughter. Eye contact with you was too difficult. He felt exposed. Vulnerable. A single longing look gave away too much, he had to put an end to them. “You think I’m Grumpy, huh?”
She jabbed her finger at him again. “You! Most definitely are.”
The immediate flash of devilry in his eyes was her only warning. “What’d I tell you about pointing at people?” He snatched her wrist in a weak grasp, and lunged at her, snapping his teeth, pretending to bite her finger off with a smile. She scream-laughed and buried her face in your shoulder.
“Aw, it’s okay, Adrie,” you consoled her, “I always knew he was a biter. Lemme count your fingers, ‘nd make sure you have all six.”
“Six?” she cried.
Besotted by your willingness to indulge his humor, Eddie lost track of his inhibitions, and acted on a deep-rooted impulse from his youth, when he was more expressive of his urges. He crept in close while you were busy doting over Adrie, and lowered his face to where he was allowed to whisper in a deeper register, “Hey, no picking on my kid. That’s my job.” To make matters worse, he reached for your side, aimed for your ribs through the single layer of fleece, and prodded. It was a success. You yelped. You were ticklish. Another trait to add to the list of things he shouldn’t know about you.
Steve’s bafflement pierced the rambunctious Jedi fight happening in the middle of the road, “Are you three gonna catch up, or do I need to make you get in the wagon?” he threatened. Sure enough, he was hauling a red wagon of someone else’s kids behind him dressed as various dinosaurs, complete with masks.
More parents had joined the trick-or-treat cavalry, milling about on the sidewalk, waiting for Adrie before they knocked on the next house. You recognized this quicker than Eddie, and offered to take her by, well, simply walking off with her in your arms.
For the first block he was alone with his thoughts. Watching you go from house to house holding his daughter’s hand. Sitting back while you took over for him, and lessened his burdens. When it was you crouched next to Adrie, smiling up at the adults with buckets of candy, they didn’t see Munson. They saw a cute little girl and her supposed mom participating in innocent fun.
“Hey, bud,” Steve said, swinging around to his side, tossing an arm around his shoulders, and shaking him. Eddie could sense the subject he was about to bring up from his consoling squeeze alone. “So, how goes the whole ‘not falling in love’ thing?”
Eddie had his correction at the ready, “I said ‘attached,’ not ‘fall in love.’”
Steve gave him a long, hard stare.
“And I said it was Adrie I was worried about getting attached.”
Steve deepened his stare.
Eddie looked away, then back, then away again. He was quiet for a few strained moments, shuffling his feet while the kids thanked a woman dressed as a witch for her cauldron of candy, and his passing gaze lingered on the Mouse holding his daughter’s hand.
You glanced in his direction, where he stayed on the outskirts of the group, and suppressed a giggle. You were listening to Adrie and her friend’s story about mermaids with full interest, asking questions, and gasping at the information they were disclosing, acting as if they knew the world’s secrets and deemed you worthy of its knowledge.
It was sweet. Endearing, adorable, attractive in the worst ways, and exactly the sort of fun Adrie craved that he couldn’t provide when he was overworked, tired, and stressed to the point of crying frustrated tears.
Except, of course, those bad days had become less and less since you started working at the auto shop..
Eddie surrendered. “How does it look like it’s going?”
“Like you're happier when she’s around,” Steve replied.
“Real good that’s doin’ me.”
They had reached the end of the street, and waited to cross at the stop sign.
Steve shrugged, and said, “I think it’s cute you finally found someone to have a crush on–Ow!” He clutched his side where Eddie elbowed him.
He hissed, “Not so loud,” even though you were several feet away, and talking animatedly with Robin.
“Oh, c’mon, it’s precious.” Lifting his chin, Steve alluded to the way you picked up Adrie and herded the other children across the road like sheep. “Y’know, you were right about her saying ‘yes’ to everything. Her and Robin have some wild stories. Did you know someone came up to them at one of those sleazy hole-in-the-wall bars and asked them to perform on stage–like, obviously meaning you know, stripping–but she accepted his offer, and that’s how they started doing stand up together? Yeah, they just went up there and started shouting jokes at all the drunks. Dodging beer being thrown at them, and whatever. Sounds fun.”
“Yeah, real fun,” Eddie muttered with a horrified expression, wondering how you managed to survive this long with your absurd policy.
“Anyway,” Steve surmised. “I think you should go for it.”
The mood shifted instantly. Eddie’s face went lax, aside from his flared nostrils. He spoke firmly, “I can’t do that, man.”
“Why not?” When Eddie refused to elaborate with a scornful shake of his head, and sudden tenseness to his jaw, Steve softened his nature. He tightened his hold on him in a make-shift hug, and requested, “Talk it out with me. Tell me what you’re going through, and what you want out of this, because you sure do flirt a lot for someone who keeps denying themselves a real relationship.”
“I don’t know what the fuck I want anymore,” he exhaled in mind, body, and spirit. Just a complete depletion of all his anxieties under the weight of Steve’s arm.
Eddie ran his tongue along the back of his bottom teeth while he observed you crouch in someone’s driveway to make a case for Halloween themed pencils, and how they may not be exciting as candy, but there were bats on them, and Adrienne liked bats, therefore, the pencils were cool.
The anxieties were replaced with the blooming realization of how deep his crush went, and the stab of reality pierced the good feelings.
“There’s a million reasons why it’s a bad idea,” Eddie sighed, and gathered his thoughts to list them out as succinctly as possible. “Uh, let’s see. First of all, we’re coworkers, and this week has already been a real glimpse into how this would all pan out if I took the risk and things didn’t work out.”
Steve rocked his head to the side. “Fair, but it’s pretty obvious she likes you too, with how she flirts back.”
“Perfect segue. Okay, so maybe she does like me. But does she like me? And does she like Adrie? Can’t have one without the other. And, man, she made it clear at the movies that she doesn’t even ask if her dates have kids, because there’s never been a second one–a second date, I mean. She’s that casual about it.”
“Why not try something casual, then?”
“When have I ever approached anything casually in my life?”
“You raise a good point there,” Steve answered, shivering at the sudden uptick in frigid gusts biting through his thick jacket.
You and Robin pulled off to the side so your gaggle of kids could take turns stomping on crunchy brown leaves before they blew away.
Ensuring they were at a good distance to watch, but not be overheard, Steve kept his voice low, “What else?”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Gee, I dunno, how about the fact she hates this place, and is going to leave eventually? Hate to break it to you, but even if she likes me like that, and even if things worked out for a while, I’m not ready to explain to Adrie why the nice lady she loves so much doesn’t come around anymore.”
“So make her stay around.”
“What?”
Shrugging with that stupid grin of his, Steve explained, nonchalant and lackadaisical, “You said she says ‘yes’ to everything. So just ask her to stay.”
Leaning into it, Eddie pulled an overjoyed face, and threw his arms up, gesticulating overdramatically. “Okay! Yeah, you’re right. I’ll just ask her to marry me, then she’ll be forced to stay in this hellhole with me forever. What a grand idea!”
Steve’s full-bodied laugh sent them both doubling over. “Okay, stud, going straight for marriage. It was just a suggestion that maybe she’s over the crazy party-til-dawn city life, and is looking for.. whatever it is you’ve got.”
“Thanks for the pep talk,” he said with more than a hint of sarcasm. Easing out of his glare, he broke himself out of considering Steve’s validation as anything more than an audible feedback loop of the things he wanted to hear, and not the facts he needed to hear. “Doesn’t matter. She could like me, she could not. She could want kids, she could not. She could stay, she could not. I still have to see her every day, regardless. There’s not a lot of other options out there for me, and even if she didn’t want the city life anymore, I don’t think she’s gunning for the single dad whose biggest aspiration is getting a trailer of his own, so his uncle can have his room back.”
Cynicism, cynicism, cynicism. Denial.
Steve’s mouth twisted, and he became serious. “Don’t talk about yourself like that.”
“It’s true, though.”
Ahead, a guy caught Steve’s attention and signaled that it was his turn again on wagon duty, which was the perfect excuse to make his exit because you were standing on your tip-toes, seeking out Eddie in the sea of Stormtroopers. You spotted him and waved with childlike glee, making your way over.
Steve’s hair fell into his eyes as he drew Eddie in. “One last piece of advice,” he began, gaze set on the side of his friend’s face, accepting not even he could win over his attention when it came to existing in the same universe as you. “If you’re serious about not pursuing her, maybe stop looking like you’re gonna blow your load every time she smiles at you.”
Eddie sputtered, “Jesus Christ, dude.”
With that last remark to recover from, Eddie was forced to rearrange his pale face into anything remotely appropriate while Steve got to stroll away as if nothing happened.
“Uh, hey,” he said, eyes scared wide, and showing too many teeth in his tight smile under your scrutiny.
You brought your hand up, and stepped into him until your chests were nearly together. Cocking your head, you pointed at something over yonder, and slowly, unwillingly, he stopped analyzing the nuances of your face to look at the group of kids at the house across the street. One kid in particular. Dressed in black, and with six additional arms dangling from his two human ones.
You couldn’t keep the sheer triumph out of your voice, “That spider is certainly bigger than your palm.”
He winced as if your joke physically pained him. He curled in on himself, and depleted himself of oxygen to groan a long, contemptuous, “So lame,” stressing both words to exaggerate his misery. Shaking his head as if his grievance was anything other than a ploy to discover what it felt like to reject reality, and satiate the envy he felt when Adrie got to be this close to you. Foreheads almost together. Noses almost grazing.
As if your hand trapped between your bodies was anything other than a ploy to rest the backs of your fingers on his chest as you laughed. As you leaned into him. As you tugged on his sweatshirt underneath his leather jacket, begging him to give in until, at last, he broke.
Eddie laughed with you, recklessly.
“Did you really abandon my kid to run over here and tell me that?”
“She’s safe with Bobbie,” you promised in a whisper. “And yes, I did.”
Leaf-shaped shadows danced across you both, cast from the orange glow of the streetlamp above. Autumnal bare branches, electric wires, swaying in the wind, revealing your faces in quick pieces; a wrinkled forehead here, contours of a nose there. Flashes of a puzzle you both collected and assembled in the scarce seconds before it was time to move on to the next house.
You crossed your arms tight over yourself and walked beside him, smiling at the ground.
“How’ve you enjoyed your Halloween experience?” he asked, swinging his arms wide to gesture at Hawkins in general. “I’m sure it’s a lot different than what you’re used to.”
“Oh, I love it!” you said in earnest, surrounded by all the things you’d only seen on screen before. “It’s just like the movies. Trick-or-treating, little kids running around in costumes, the weather, the decorations. It’s surreal. Usually I’d be drunk in a nightclub by now.”
Furrowing his brow, he looked upwards as if he were reading a nonexistent clock, and asked with a twinge of parental disapproval, “Isn’t it, like, 8PM?”
“Yeah,” you admitted, unperturbed. Too impassive to put him at ease. Like you were lording a secret over him. “Don’t act like you weren’t the same before you had Adrie.”
“And what does that mean?”
“Harrington’s been telling me stories about you,” you informed him, and rolled your bottom lip inward, biting it as he zeroed in on your cheeky grin getting a rise out of him.
He squinted at you. “Calling him Harrington, huh? Well, aren’t you two chummy.” Mentally rolling a Nat 20 for Stealth, he lifted his hand to your side without you noticing. “What’d he tell you?”
You made an ‘X’ over your mouth with your fingers.
The perfect position to leave yourself open for attack. I mean, the opportunity presented itself so splendidly, how could he not? How could he resist the greatest temptation?
His impending threat continued to go undetected. Giving you one last chance, he dipped his face to yours–relishing how the apples of your cheeks intruded on your eyes when you smiled this hard, forcing them to scrunch closed–and he asked, “What did he tell you?”
“I’m not repeating!” you giggled.
Oh, you were giggling all right. And in the next gasp, you were squealing, jerking away from him.
Eddie was merciless. His large hands proved too difficult to escape. He poked, prodded. Tickled you until his every, “Tell me, tell me, tell me,” was met with your, “Stop, stop, stop, please!” You fought him fruitlessly, grappling at his forearms, and failing to do little more than slip against his sleeves. He cackled at you. Mocked you with the tip of his tongue to his teeth each time you thought you got away, only to be caught again. You resisted. Resisted. Persevered in the face of evil–knocking your forehead into his chin on accident. Eddie thought you would’ve caved by now, but it was him who stopped; and not because of the unwanted attention your antics drew.
You pried him away from your ribs.
“You’re freezing!” Eddie’s mood changed on a dime at feeling your frigid fingers on top of his. He shifted so that he was enveloping your hands, encasing you in his warmth in exchange for the cold seeping to his bones.
“Yeah,” you answered sheepishly.
“You made a fuss about reminding me to put Adrie in extra layers, but you’re not wearing a jacket?”
You chewed on the inside of your cheek, distorting your grin. “Yeah.”
“You’re irresponsible, you know that?”
“Yeah.”
“A real bad example.”
“Yeah.”
“An absolute pain in my ass.” Eddie grinned with you. Eyelids falling half-closed. Searing your skin with his heat. Enacting the subtle art of asking questions for the sake of prolonging the moment. Not like it was obvious, given you readily accepted his fingers curled around yours with a coy glint to your gaze. Totally discreet as he let go to shrug off his jacket and hand it over.
Obliging him, you raised your eyebrows. “What a gentleman.” You slid your arms into the sleeves, snuggled into his blanketing warmth, and tugged the collar over your mouth, rendering yourself to a pair of pretty eyes.
He was a goner.
“Tell me what Harrington said.”
“Okay,” you indulged him, breath coming out as a fog. “He said..” You were back to giggling behind the collar, remembering the story. “He said one time at a party there was this big watermelon keg he spent all day working on.” Eddie pressed his lips into a line, knowing where this was going. “He scooped out the innards. Spent painstaking hours cutting up fruit to put inside it and soak up all the rum. And then you wandered in. Already hammered, and you, you–” You snickered and peeled back the collar. “You knocked it over within ten seconds of walking in the kitchen, smashing it everywhere like a crime scene.” You hid behind the collar again, then opened it, voice gone high-pitched with suppressed laughter. “And he said you panicked, and tried to scoop it up in your hands and put it in people’s cups!” More laughter. “And when they said ‘no’ because it was fucking gross floor juice, you tried eating all the fruit yourself.” One more hide and seek of the collar as you lost it in a final squeak, “And you cried!”
He waited until you calmed down to show how thrilled he was in a deadpan tone, “Great, great. I’m so glad he told you that one.”
“It certainly conjures an image.”
Thinking the conversation was over, you took a step in the direction of your trick-or-treat group, but something caught your eye. You tilted your head. He mirrored you, tilting it the same way. You shuffled to the side. He turned with you, more, more towards the streetlamp. Curious as to what you were doing, and why you were staring at his chest, mouthing something.
“What’s Corroded Coffin?”
��Uh–It’s–It’s nothing,” Eddie said a bit too loud, wiping at his sweatshirt like the self-printed logo was a crumb he could discard himself of.
Fortunately, a wild Adrienne appeared, interrupting him from making a bigger fool of himself. “My hands are cold. Can I have my gloves?”
Eddie glided his hands over his stomach out of habit, and realized his pockets weren’t there. Without warning, he grabbed a fistful of his jacket, and yanked you to him, spinning you, manhandling you. Forcing you to catch yourself on his braced muscles–shoulder to his chest, hip to a place he’d rather not dwell on. Not gentlemanly at all.
You released a string of flustered remarks, and pushed away from him, making it appear to be a benign accident in front of his daughter.
“Here,” he said to Adrie, holding the black mittens above her head, out of her reach.
She jumped, and jumped, and stomped. “Daddy,” she whined.
Dusting yourself off from the previous encounter, you agreed, “You’re so cruel, bullying your own child.”
“She knows the magic words,” he led on.
“Please!” She jumped higher, huffing and puffing.
“And?”
“And thank you!”
He relented. His evil reign came to an end. First, the tickling, now, the height advantage over a little girl. He gave Adrie the mittens and she stuck her tongue out at him before bolting off faster than lightning.
It was you turn to poke a stern finger into his ribs. “Awful, awful man,” you scolded him. Unlucky for you, he wasn’t ticklish there, nor was he ashamed of any of his actions these past few minutes. He might come to regret them when you move back to New York and these were the memories he was left with, but he wasn’t ashamed.
No, not ashamed to overstep the boundaries he resurrected in pursuit of happiness. If only a little. Enough to feel the thrill of danger, but remain safe inside his walls.
Casual.
You liked casual.
Fuck what he said earlier. He could keep it casual. He could handle innocent flirting without it getting out of hand.
“We should probably catch up with everyone before they send Scooby and the gang to search for us,” you said, walking backwards, throwing your thumb over your shoulder.
He snorted. “Terrible joke. Are you sure you were a comedian?”
You answered him with two middle fingers, which you promptly put away. Adrie came running back after just one house, hunched over, dragging her feet; hair a loose mess, barrettes dangling. Displaying all the theatrics of her father.
She made grabby hands at you. Not him. And before he could voice his hurt, you scooped her into your arms, and she rested her chin on your shoulder.
“Hey,” he complained weakly, walking up to you from behind so he could take the treat bucket before it spilled, and talk to Adrie directly. “You told me you were a big girl who could walk on her own, and didn’t need to be held.” Her refute was a babbling grumble laced with fatigue.
Speaking to you, he said, “You don’t have to carry her.”
“I don’t mind. I think they only want to do a few more houses before we head back. Do you wanna join?”
At first, Eddie was quiet, and you spun in a slow circle to see him, catching the end of his wistful expression at the rich neighborhood and its opulent houses owned by affluent people who heard a rumor or two about Munson, and decided he wasn’t worth more than their wary glances when his kid played with theirs.
“Nah, I’m good over here.” He ran his hand over the back of Adrie’s head, and relaxed his stance, staying put.
“Let me help ya out there, Cool Guy,” you said, motioning for him to bend to you. You picked a narrow, apple-red leaf out of his tangled hair, and flicked it away.
“How long has that been there?”
Shrugging your mouth to disguise your beaming grin, you feigned ignorance while walking away. “Who’s to say?”
To further exacerbate his embarrassment into genuine distress, after two Mummies answered the door, and you were coming down the sidewalk, he saw you pull off the side for Steve to pass with the stroller, and you laid your cheek on the top of Adrie’s head. You whispered something in her ear. Something most intriguing, on account of her coming to life, no longer sleepy. The exchange was short; her asking a question, and you answering. But as you nodded with heavy-lidded eyes, and she pressed her fingers to her smile, you both turned, looked at him, and giggled.
Eddie gulped.
He didn’t like this new feeling of you two sharing secrets about him. Especially ones he couldn’t threaten out of you, no matter how many times he put his hands on your ribs.
~~~
As the evening came to a close, Eddie carried Adrie on his hip while you lugged her bucket of sweets. The plastic handle bowed from the weight of the candy, and your fingertips went numb from the burden. And maybe for your troubles, you took a piece. Or two.
The group petered out until it was left to the core of you returning to Steve’s house. The goodbyes were truncated due to the three sleepy kids in tow. You handed off the bucket to Eddie, first asking if he was sure he didn’t need help getting to his car, and when he assured you he was fine, you squeezed Adrie’s ankle and whispered a goodbye she didn’t hear, too lost in Dreamland and drooling on her dad’s shoulder to know the night was over.
He said he’d see you Monday and parted ways, walking in the opposite direction, and you waited at the white-picket fence gate for Robin to stop swapping sneaky peeks at Steve and Nancy to join you.
“Bobbie, I know you don’t want me driving.”
She made eyes at Nancy one last time, and descended the porch stairs at a leisurely pace. “Yeah, we can leave.”
~~~
The drive home was a welcomed respite after the constant overstimulation. The radio was set to low, the heater caressed warmth along your wind-burnt cheeks, the headlights spotlighted deer grazing on the sides of the lonely road. Robin kept lofting soft smiles in your direction, which you returned.
Parking at her parent’s house, you closed the car door behind you, hearing it echo off the forest. The rocky driveway crunched under your shoes on your way to the door. The porch light was on, elongating your shadows across the ground, following you step by step.
“So, you and Eddie, huh?” Robin asked, turning the key in the lock.
You snapped to attention, schooling your features from giving you away. “Just friends,” you reiterated at her suggestive tone. “Just friends and coworkers. He’s dropped more than enough hints that he’s not looking for more.” You finished in more of a sigh, “Not with me, anyway.”
“Is that so?”
Her lopsided smirk struck undesired hope in your heart.
Robin pushed open the door, and curled in her forefinger to tap her knuckle on her upper lip. She dropped her gaze to your general upper body, and hummed, “You, uh.. forget something?”
You looked down at yourself. “Oh–”
————
Eddie dropped his shoulders back expecting to feel something slide down his arms. Then, he patted his chest, and realized. “–Shit.” He stared at his coat hook next to the front door where his leather jacket usually hung, and reprimanded himself in a soft laugh. “Guess I’ll have to get it back on Monday.”
“How much candy can I have?” Adrienne asked, dumping out her bucket on the coffee table, and scrambling to pick up the Tootsie Rolls that fell on the floor. She began sorting into piles of most favorite to least favorite.
“One,” Eddie stated sternly.
He turned on the TV and sat on the couch, decompressing while Adrie cackled over her hoard like Smaug. He should’ve known something was up when she wouldn’t stop giggling to herself.
His suspicions were answered when she turned around to show him the one piece she picked out–perfectly following his rules.
“Uh, absolutely not!” Eddie swiped it from her. “Seriously, who gives out full size Snickers bars on Halloween?”
“But, Daddy, you said!”
Leaning forward to rest his arms on his thighs, he demanded her attention before the pitiful crocodile tears started. “I’ll make you a deal,” he said, and reached past her for a mini Musketeers to compare. “You can have the Snickers, but you have to share half with me. See, half is still bigger than one of these little ones, so you’ll still be coming out of this a winner. ‘Kay?” She nodded and went to grab it. “But! I don’t want any tantrums when I tell you it’s bath time.” Again, she agreed and he reeled the candybar back into himself, away from her quick fingers. “And! You have to brush your teeth after.”
“I will,” she promised with a deep frown.
“And you still have to go to bed at the normal time.”
Pushing her hair out of her face, she dropped her head in another big nod.
Eddie was satisfied and went to give it to her. But another thought crossed his mind–one of true luxury–and the allure of the idea proved too good to ignore.
Much to her dismay, he snatched the candybar away before she could get a good grasp on it, and he deepened his voice to show he was serious, “And I want to shower. Ten minutes. Uninterrupted.”
She groaned at the ceiling at his never ending list of rules. “Fine!”
~~~
Riding his tingly feel-good high, Eddie opened the bathroom door to let the steam out, and toweled off the fog on the medicine cabinet mirror. He took out his comb and scissors, and sectioned out his bangs.
Brunette snips of wet hair fell in triangles onto his white tank top and around the sink. It wasn’t a noticeable trim, just enough to get them off his eyebrows when dried.
With some amount of clarity, he looked his reflection in the eye as he evened out the cut, and didn’t know if he should be wearing the faint smile he did, or if he should listen to his better judgment, and stop making modifications to his barriers.
He knew you deserved a better life than what Hawkins could offer, but he could enjoy the innocent workplace flirtations, right? They were harmless. Little compliments here and there to boost his confidence. That’s all it was. It’s not like you actually found him attractive, right? You’d been on enough dates to know what to say to a guy. That’s all.
Though, he did need to remember to have a talk with Adrie about setting her expectations and understanding Daddy could have friends without it leading anywhere, and that was okay.
“–some.”
Jumping, Eddie said a prayer that was not righteous, and thanked the stars he was not trimming closer to his eyes when his daughter scared him. “Jesus Christ, kid,” he exhaled.
“Handsome,” she said again.
Taken aback, he let the flattery sink in. Besides last week at the movies, he didn’t get compliments often, or at all, and to receive one now while his thoughts circled back to that familiar sting of ugliness with the way other parents looked at him tonight, Adrie’s kindness matured his grin into a real smile.
“You think I’m handsome?” he asked in a mild, quick laugh. “That’s sweet.” He leaned over the sink and worked on his bangs again, snipping up into the strands between his fingers.
“Miss–ouse does.”
“What–?” Her words were incoherent from her fingers stuffed in her mouth. “Did you say..?” He dropped the comb and scissors, and spun around, eyes set on her. Adrie released a high-pitched shriek and ran from the doorway. “Wait! Adrie! She said that? She said that about me?” He chased her into the living room, dodging back and forth around the coffee table. Duping left, right. Catching her as she made a quick escape to her bedroom. “Tell me what you said? Did Miss Mouse say that about me? Did she call me handsome?”
Try as he might, threatening to tickle her until she repeated herself, Adrienne refused to tell him the secret you whispered in her ear.
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byechristopher · 2 months
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pleaseee a fic where chris and reader meet for the first time (she's lowkey sad or some shit like that idk) and he's all starstruck by her 😞
lucky you.
–CHRIS STURNIOLO FLUFF.
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Author's note: hey y'all. I got the idea from this lovely anon (thank you for the request!🤍) and combined it with something that actually happened to me. Fate truly works in mysterious ways – so take this long, sappy story (based on true events, pft). I hope you like it! Do not copy/steal my work. :)
Warnings: long, sappy fluff. Very slight angst if you squeeze, but nothing crazy. Very long, didn't proofread!
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My mom used to always say – "that's life; when one door closes, another door opens". And if I still lived in the same house with mom, she'd know; I haven't seen an opened door in a long while. It is unfair but it is what it is and I had no intention of succumbing to tears in the solitude of my nightly despair.
Seated on the chilled bench, I instinctively drew my knees towards my chest in a desperate bid for warmth. The sheer elegance of my black tights, though adorning my legs, proved futile against the biting cold. Unfazed, I refrained from complaining; after all, they were my cherished favorites. Mascara was most likely smudged from my previous ugly crying, yet I ignored it, taking solace in my sweater's embrace.
Leaning my head against my knees, my fingers absentmindedly engaged with the laces of my shoes – a subconscious act of distraction. In the midst of this self-imposed solitude, a sudden exclamation pierced the quietude.
"Shit!" I heard a voice, someone angry. The mysterious guy threw his hat on the pavement and scoffed, his hair nearly as messy as mine. His gaze shifted towards me, a thorough assessment from head to toe, "care if I sit next to you?" he asked quickly. Without much ado, I responded with a nonchalant shrug. I didn't care, I had way more things to worry about.
I could feel him rummaging through his pockets, trying to find God knows what, he seemed upset, anxious, "want a cig?" I didn't see him, but I saw his extended arm in front of me. I don't think he was looking at me either.
"Sure." I murmured under my breath, taking a cigarette from him half-empty packet.
"Why does life have to be such a fucking bitch?" I chuckled in response, treating it more as a statement than a question. Offering another shrug, I watched as he scanned the area, likely in search of his lighter.
"If I had the answer to that, I'd probably murder this bitch." I chuckled, he chuckled too.
He held the lighter in front of me and only then did I turn my head to look at him – he was definitely not what I expected to see from what I've heard. While I didn't dwell on it for long, it seemed he did, as seconds passed without his lighter igniting. His intense pale blue eyes remained fixed on mine, and I briefly removed the cigarette from my mouth.
"Hello?" was my mascara that smudged that I scared the guy? He hasn't uttered a word.
"Oh.. sorry." he shook his head, as though attempting to shake off the reverie that had consumed him in the past few moments in his own world, "I just.. didn't expect you to be here?"
"Well.. I'm pretty sure we haven't met before. So how come you didn't expect me?.." I was confused.
"No, I mean.. you are very beautiful." he almost whispered but I caught that, and if I was just a little disconnected from reality, I probably would've blushed.
"Oh. Thank you." my lips turned into a thin line – I put the cigarette back into my mouth, grabbing his lighter instead.
He chuckled, "and I thought I didn't know how to take a compliment." he took his lighter back, taking a puff of his own cigarette.
"Don't you hear like a thousand compliments on a daily basis?" with my knees still pulled up to my chest, I embraced them tightly, resting my head against the comforting curve of my legs.
"Hm. And yet this was the best compliment anyone has ever given me." he placed a leg on the bench, just so that he'd be able to have his whole body face me.
I couldn't help but laugh, "yeah, I'm good at giving things. Not receiving."
He nodded, his hat still on the ground although he didn't seem to care, "understood.." he smiled and wow, he had a nice smile, almost contagious, "a fellow people pleaser, nice to meet you. I'm Chris."
I reciprocated with a nod and a quick smile. My name slipped off my lips swiftly, echoed by him, and I couldn't help but notice how much better it sounded when it rolled off his tongue.
"Will I ever see you again?" he looked me dead in the eye.
"Probably not." I pursed my lips, looking back at him.
He nodded as if he understood and dropped his burnt cigarette to the ground. Chris grabbed his hat and got up, offering another smile, "I believe in fate."
"I don't." I teased, smiling.
"You probably should." he shouted, already far away from me to speak normally.
What an interaction.
It had been quite a while since said interaction. Not that I thought about the guy a lot, but he definitely was in the back of my mind. Even when I was outside, he'd still cross my mind every now and then, like a nice, distant memory.
I chuckled as I gulped down my whiskey – the music was too loud for my own liking but it was a Saturday night and it'd be a pity if I stayed home once again; my friends begged and I actually like hanging out with them. I watched as my friends danced with each other, not too far away from me, as I rummaged through my purse to find the money so I could pay and leave.
"Fucking.. shit.." I cursed under my breath, turning my phone's flashlight on because the lights in that bar were bright as fuck, but apparently not enough to actually help me see.
"D'you need any help?" I heard a somewhat familiar voice shouting behind me. I turned around and my eyes widened when I saw him.
"I.. you!" I was beyond surprised, to say the least, because I was truly convinced I'd never see him again. Not because I didn't want it; but because I had enough on my plate already.
"Shit.." he whispered, and if I wasn't already looking at his lips, I wouldn't be able to know what he said, "..see, I told you fate works in mysterious ways."
"This was just a coincidence." I convince myself.
Was it, though?
"This was no coincidence and you know it.." he grinned and I let my eyes travel down his body for a few seconds – he looked best in black, ".. I need to see you again.." he muttered.
"Well, it seems you will indeed see me again." I smiled.
"Does that mean you'll give me your phone number?" he grinned and I saw his eyes do the same thing mine did to him; check me out.
I hummed, "..hmm.. no. We'll see if fate actually works." I smiled.
"You can't be serious.." he tilted his head, looking at me in disbelief, "I found you again, how can I leave when I don't know if I'll ever see you again?"
"You said you believed in fate."
I found him undeniably attractive and intriguing. However, at that moment, I realized I wasn't emotionally equipped to entertain the idea of liking someone or embarking on dates. The weight of my personal struggles loomed large, and I couldn't shake the fear that if he discovered the extent of my problems, he'd likely reject me. Hence, I concluded it was better to distance myself now rather than risk inevitable disappointment later on.
It's not like I'd see him again.
Truly, it's been more than a month since I last saw him; I did think about him way more often than usual but he still remained a nice, distant memory. A memory that was in the past and would never be in the future.
"Yo, we're leaving already? It's 2AM." my friend whined, although we were already walking down the stairs, toward the exit, with our jackets on and bags in our hands.
"No, love, we're just taking our fucking bags for a little walk." another friend replied, rolling her eyes and I couldn't help but laugh at their bickering.
Immediately after departing from the bar, he made his way out of the restaurant located directly beneath it. You have to be fucking kidding me.
"You.." he whispered, his eyes widened.
My mouth hung open, my eyes as wide as his; I really couldn't believe it this time. This couldn't be a coincidence, right?
"What.. are you doing here?" there was nothing else that could leave my mouth at that time.
"I work here.. now, you can't tell me this is a coincidence." he walked closer to me, although still keeping a distance to be respectful.
It definitely wasn't but I was still in the same mood I was back then.
"I can't tell just yet." I teased him; deep down I wished I could give him way more. But I knew I couldn't.
"Don't.. tell me.. are you not gonna give me your phone number? Again?" he chuckled in disbelief once again. I nodded.
"He better be a murderer, bitch; that's the only valid reason for you not giving him your phone number yet." shit, I completely forgot that my friends were literally behind me, staring at us; they knew nothing about this.
"Stop." I whispered to my friend and I don't think she heard me but she definitely saw the expression on my face.
"Please?" he said and I almost gave in when I saw those eyes.
I have always been self-destructive but this wasn't it, this time. It was realistic, right? I really couldn't do this; I knew he wouldn't be able to keep up with my lifestyle so I was just doing me a favor by saving myself from possible heartbreak. Right?
"I promise you now; if we meet again, I'm opening up to you. Fully. My phone number, my likes, my diskikes." I gave him a teasing smile, which he seemed happy to receive.
"Pinky promise. Now. I trust fate but not you." he chuckled and so did I.
"But you trust my pinky?" I laughed but he seemed serious, despite his playful stare. I sighed, still smiling, wrapping my pinky around his, "..promise."
This would probably never happen. It's fine.
This time, I really thought about him; dreamed about him even. That was very unlike me but it happened either way. I seemed to be doing lots of things that were unlike me lately – like going to this bar again. I wasn't going to see him but I was hoping to.
The whiskey was cold against my lips, my black dress hugging my hips as I sat down on the couch.
"Third time's the charm."
No.
I turned my head and saw Chris speaking to the friend group that were sitting next to ours; I saw them getting up and leaving, Chris replacing them.
"Oh God.. what did you tell them?" my grin was wider than usual, I really wanted to see him after all.
"That.. I needed to sit next to you. And that it was a matter of life and death." he smiled, taking a sip of his own drink.
"You're crazy."
"For you." he said, searching for something.
Before realising, I saw his phone in front of me, signaling me to dial my phone number. And of course, I did.
"So. Start. Tell me everything."
"Do you have free time?" I tilted my head, still looking at him.
"For you? Always." he chuckled.
I cupped his cheeks and pulled him closer, looking into his eyes to make sure he wanted to kiss me as well. And as soon as I felt him leaning towards me, I placed the softest kiss on his own soft lips.
"Take me home?"
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apricityxoxo · 2 months
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Help and Care
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✧.* Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem! Reader
✧.* wc 5,786 (teheeheee)
✧.* summary: he definitely didn't need help, he doesn't need someone to care for him. no one has ever helped him before, and no one ever cared so why would they start now. he doesn't care, he definitely doesn't need help. so why does he keep ending up in the infirmary with the beautiful nurse? and why does he keep coming back to you?
✧.* contents: fluff, a bit of angst, and a sprinkle of suggestive dialogue
here's the whole story! it took me a while but I hope you all enjoy it, sorry I'm a perfectionist. I had a lot of fun writing this but let me know what you all think. i might write a pt 2 to this idk. Also pls excuse the medical and military inaccuracies
enjoy
Help. He hates help. He can’t stand it. When others look at him, when he looks at himself, he doesn’t see himself as someone dependent on others. Why else would he enlist, he didn’t need help, he learned that the hard way. No one ever helped him and he adjusted, so why would he need help now? People are dependent on him; they rely on him. When someone is injured, scared, or dead it’s up to him to fix the situation, to solve the problems of others, to carry the fallen.
When Price told him to go to the nurse he was upset, actually, he was pissed. He was not a child who scraped his knee playing football at school. He was a soldier; he was more than a mere man. He knew how to endure, he knew how to carry his weight, and he knew that he didn’t need to see the nurse. He knew what was wrong with him, he just bruised his ribs. He didn’t need some old woman with a bad attitude to tell him what he already knew.
He endured and he resisted the pain for exactly two weeks, but the pain was only getting worse. He was confused and didn’t know what to do, he hoped that no one had noticed and he didn’t want people to start. He didn’t want questions or concerns, he wanted relief and nothing more.
He thought no one would notice and he was so wrong.
Training.
Simon hated training the new recruits, they were cocky and they didn’t know their place. They thought after joining and passing the initial physical exams, they were done.
They were most definitely not done. They needed to adjust, physically and mentally, to fit in. Many people think the initial physical and mental exams are where new recruits break, no they break here, during training…with him. He hated it but knew why Price asked him to do it.
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Price usually did rounds during training, he watched the recruits and the techniques of the other task forces. The smell of sweat, dirt, and blood filled his system and that smell drew his attention to Ghost. Today he felt the need to check on Ghost and see how he was doing. Ghost was a good teacher even though he didn’t realize this, Price did though.
Ghost was mean, harsh, and disciplined, and the people he taught tended not to last long, however, the ones who did turn out to be great because the one thing that Ghost teaches best is endurance.
When Price was watching him train, he started to get upset and confused. This was most definitely different from the big and bad Ghost he was used to. He thought at first that "maybe Ghost was pulling his punches?" When he paired Ghost up to train some of the rookies, he thought maybe Simon was finally going soft.
Usually after training, the rookies would be sore, and in pain, sometimes they might even need to be excused to nurse. However, these past few weeks the rookies have been surprisingly...fine. Maybe even better than fine and it's been making them cocky, it's boosted some of their egos.
It would probably boost his ego too, Price chuckled. If he were to beat the big, brutal, scary Ghost while still a rookie. However, they are starting to get obnoxious because they are taunting and boasting, which is certainly something that Price could not have. It was starting to piss him off. Price was going to tell Ghost that if he didn’t put these pricks in line, there were going to be consequences.
That was the plan, but then he took a closer look and that’s when he saw it.
He saw the way that Ghost taking more hits than normal, he was slow to react and he was even slower to respond. His stance was off as well, usually his form made him feel like a giant among men but now he looked like he was shrinking himself, like it was his first day of training. Ghost wasn’t pulling his punches, he wasn't holding back, he was weak.
Now he was pissed.
Price knew.
Price knew exactly why Ghost wasn’t as strong as he usually is, why his punches aren’t as powerful as they normally are. Ghost was a disobedient bastard and Price was pissed.
“STOP! That’s enough training for today, soldiers.”
“Ghost, come now!”
“Yes, Captain” Ghost replied in his thick Manchester accent.
“The hell is wrong with you Lieutenant!”
“Nothin' Capt’n, I'm just-”
“You’re just hurt, did you go to the nurse?” Price knew the answer.
“I didn’t feel the need to go to the medical facility Capt’n”
“You didn’t feel the need to go?” Price asked Simon and looked at him like he was crazy. Since when did his soldiers feel the need for an opinion?
“If you don’t get your ass to the medical facility right now, you’re going to be training these pricks for three months straight. You understand?”
“Yessir!”
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Unbelievable!
He doesn’t need to be here. As he walks to the nurse’s offices, he feels everyone's eyes on him. He’s rarely ever here and because of that it draws the eye, lots of them. He thanked his balaclava every day because without it, based on the face he was making, some might think he was actually nervous.
He doesn’t want some old hag telling him what to do and degrading him for not coming sooner. Some old nurse or doctor telling him everything he already knows just to insult him and show off their vast vocabulary just to try and make him feel small. that’s what they all do, that’s what his father did.
He approaches the front desk and the older woman tells him to go to office number 222. He makes his way over, navigating the hallways,  and he finds the office. The sign is decorated with small pink flowers and a white cat with a red bow. He resists the urge to roll his eyes.
Before he goes and knocks on the door, he dries his palms on his pants, desperately hoping to get over this.
Knock-knock.
Some time passed but then he heard a soft voice say…
“Come on in”
He opened the door and he was surprised that the soft voice matched a beautifully soft face. A face with beautifully unique features that worked together in harmony to make the beautiful woman that sat before him.
God damn.
Those were the only words on his mind.
It wasn’t an old woman who looked like she had a chip on her shoulder and carried a deep grudge, nor someone who looked like they were going to insult him… no. definitely not.
It was a young woman.
A beautiful young woman.
A beautiful young woman with the most inviting features. Absolutely gorgeous, he’s never seen a woman this beautiful ever on this base. He feels like she doesn’t belong here, her face is an exact contrast to the environment he surrounds himself every day. He has a million questions he wants to ask her, and he feels the strong urge to get closer to her. He’s such a creep. He doesn’t even know her name.
He feels his mouth goes dry and his hands sweat. Gross. He hasn’t felt this way since Secondary School, he feels like a dork and he doesn’t know what is wrong with him.
“Good afternoon, how can I help you!” Her voice was cheery and if he was a little bit more nervous, he wouldn’t notice the shock on her face and the tremble in her voice. He was used to that reaction; it was probably due to his appearance. her voice matched her face and he felt his heart beat faster, he finally was going to die.
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He was just staring at you, he was just looking. You’ve heard rumors of him, of his personality. The big bad Ghost, the professional killer who lacks mercy for anyone. He was just staring at you and it was freaking you out. What’s wrong with him, why is he here in the nurse's office? Did he hurt someone? Or worse…
He’s still staring.
“… excuse me, is everything alright?”
“Erm…yeah, sorry” he responded and if your mind weren’t running a mile a minute you would have heard the way he sounded nervous.
He clears his throat and then replies “Captain Price has recommended I take a visit down here.” God his voice was so deep. He was so smooth, he had a thick accent that wasn’t like any of the others you heard on base. His voice was not at all soft but the way he spoke made something bubble inside you. 
Wait. ‘take a visit down here’
Oh. He needed help. 
“Oh… okay sir, what seems to be the problem?” You try your best to put on your customer service voice and hide the fact that you're wondering what this man might need help with. 
“Erm… last deployment I bruised my ribs real bad, don't know how…”
You try to listen, you have to pretend to do so. You're writing as he describes his symptoms. He has stomach pain, difficulty breathing, tenderness in his abdomen, and bruising. He describes his symptoms and you feel so bad for him and at the same time, you feel disgusted in yourself. 
Disgusted because instead of being focused on how he describes his pain, you focused on his attractive ass voice. You can't help it, you're just a girl. 
No, You need to remain a professional.
“Okay Lieutenant Riley, if it's all right with you, I’d like to examine your abdomen.”
“Yeah… that's fine” he sounds hesitant you feel bad… you feel like you need to reassure him.
“Don't worry lieutenant, I'm sure everything is going to be just fine.” you try to reassure him and when you do, you unconsciously give him a soft smile.
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Well, you have to ask him to take off his shirt. That was something that didn't occur to you. He doesn't have to comply, you could do the whole checkup with his shirt on. You hope he doesn't so you save yourself from embarrassment. 
“Sir, if you do not mind, may I ask you to remove your um… t-shirt?” you ask, trying your hardest to remain professional. It's completely reasonable for a medical professional to ask a patient to remove their shirt when they had an abdomen injury.
“You don't necessarily have to I'm sure I can find a way to…”
“I don't mind” Lieutenant Riley cuts you off as he agrees.
He sits on the examination table and removes his shirt.
You think you just died. You are short of breath and you think you died because there's an angel right in front of you. If you were anywhere else you would admire his powerfully built body, but you were more concerned with the bruising on his stomach.
You feel and you touch his body, extremely concerned about his well-being. His stomach was black and blue, his stomach was sore, and he could barely bend over. 
You were worried but also shocked because this man worked and trained in such a condition for about a week. You knew of Simon Riley and you knew of his reputation and this just supported the fact that he's an absolute abled-bodied unit… it was almost scary.
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“I believe you have a few broken ribs…sir.” You say almost scared of his reaction. He needed x-rays, actually he needed time off. 
“I'll recommend you an off-base X-ray Tech to take pictures of your abdomen, I also recommended to your captain that you take time off to heal. After we get your x-rays, I recommend you visit me every two weeks so we can look over your progress ” You tell him, distracted as you look over all your notes.
“Oh ok, every two weeks, and how long will it take to heal…” Luitenent Riley asked, he sounded nervous and you started to feel bad for talking to him so nonchalantly about his condition.
“Um should take about two months to heal. Ribs tend to heal rather quickly, however, since they weren't treated earlier it might take a while longer. Don't worry I’m sure you'll feel better rather quickly.” You try to give him a little bit of comfort. You give Luitenent Riley instructions, stating how to take care of himself and treat his injuries. 
He collects his stuff and is getting ready to leave before he turns around looks you up and meets your eye. 
“Thank you so much luv, ‘preciate it.” He tells you, in a soft accented voice.
“It's not a problem Luitenent.” You tell him and you feel your heart pick up its pace.
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Week 2 
He was supposed to visit today, you were expecting him today. You had all of his notes laid out and you were just waiting. 
Waiting.
Waiting. 
Other patients came and went but you were still looking forward to one specific client. The first time he visited you had no time to admire his large and confident stance when he walked into the room. He walked into the room with utter confidence as if he knew it would have an effect on you.
AND GAHHH LEEE
When he removed his shirt, you don't know how you controlled yourself. You knew he was a big man with a hefty build but you were not expecting what you saw. Your eyes were blessed with a solid, broad-shouldered, athletic man.
The literal definition of manly, if he wasn't in the military you were sure he would be off somewhere chopping wood or something. If you weren't at work you're sure you would be lying in bed kicking your feet.
When he spoke to you he had such a deep and low baritone voice that was heavily accented. You never had a thing for accents but he was something else completely. Low and intimidating, his language was professional but you could tell that he was trying not to curse and use slang. It's embarrassing to think about the things you'd do to hear him, swear or even say your name. In your head you know you’d sound like a rabid dog if he’d said it in that attractive ass voice-
Then you hear your name and think you might die. Actually, it was your last name and your medical title. But still—
It’s him.
He’s here. 
Remain professional! you scream and shout at yourself.
You greet him and try to make small talk, asking him how he’s doing, how he’s feeling, and what he’s been doing with his time off. It's hard, he's such a beefy and attractive man. You can't even see his face but based on just the way he walks, you know he's fine. 
Admittedly, working on this base that’s far away from your home made you forget how to act around an attractive man…
“Been reading too, I'm trying to distract myself. If ya have any recommendations just let me know.” he interrupts your thoughts and you relate to him. It gets boring between deployment he tells.
“What do you usually do between deployments?” you ask, sincerely.
“Train, train myself then train with others.” He replies.
You don’t ask anything else, you know that he must miss training every day. The way he says it makes you feel bad. You know many of the soldiers find solitude when they work on themselves and train. It calms them and helps them recover, it's almost a form of therapy. Simon can't do that, not with his injury. You feel a pang in your chest. 
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You go over his notes and x-rays. You give him a checkup and note that he’s healing rather quickly, based on the other scars you know that this isn’t his worst injury. 
You catch his eyes when you are going over everything with him and explaining your notes to him. He’s looking at you with his golden green eyes, staring you up and down. You feel sort of embarrassed because you don't feel cute at this moment. You didn’t put makeup on in the morning, just gloss on your plumped lip and curled your eyelashes. Your wash day is coming up too so you wrapped your hair in a colorful scar today.
The way he looked at you was the way men would look when you would walk into a club. When you had a full face and your hair was freshly done. When you had a tight and short dress that would accentuate your beautiful curves. When you knew that you looked stunning that's the way he was looking at you, right now.
His visit was finished and you put the date for the next visit in your calendar. Before he leaves he thanks you.
“I don't like doctors but I appreciate all you've done for me, miss.”
“Thank you Luitenenent, if you ever need a book recommendation you can always come see me.”
“Thank you.” He tells you and even though you can't see his face, you feel a smile radiate off him.
You feel like he’s such a kind man.
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Week 4
Today, on his next visit, he’s not as kind.
You know why. You can tell that he's antsy, that he wants to get back to work. He’s rushing the process and wants to do everything you told him not to do. He wants to disregard all the instructions you gave him. You’re used to that, soldiers want to get back to their daily routine and they’re itching to do something strenuous during the healing process.
You would be fine with that if it were not for his shortness with you. He was annoyed and that was completely acceptable but there was no need to be curt and downright rude to you.
His answers were short. After each question, while trying to make small talk he replied with a ‘Mmhmm’. He didn't make eye contact with you and when you would suggest activities for him to try and distract him, he would roll his eyes and brush it off. 
He didn't want to chat and you feel like this is not the same man, who came to visit last time.
Today’s visit was short, there was clearly no need for small talk on his end and no time for the flirting you wanted to do. 
You did yourself up today too and now that you think back at it, it feels like a waste of time. You enjoyed the visit you had with him last time you were looking forward to today's visit. However, that feeling quickly dissipated, when Luitenenent Riley came in with a bad attitude and short tone. You had no time for this today, you think you even returned that same energy. So the visit was short and he left with a slammed door following behind him.
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Lunchtime came around and you were most definitely looking forward to it. After a long day, that wasn't even over, all you wanted to do was eat. You grab your book and sit in your designated corner to eat in the loud cafeteria.
You feel relaxed when you start eating and open up your book. The loud cafeteria with the chatter of men and women surrounds you. It's kind of calming when you think about it. The laughs, small talk, and clattering cutlery fade in the background around you. This is just what you need after such a long and tiresome day. 
You try to focus on your book but then you are interrupted by someone clearing their throat.
“Is this seat taken?” You glance up from your book, you find him standing there, his presence commanding attention even in the busy room. Lieutenant Riley is looking down at you with a food tray in his hands. He refers to the seat across from you and you shake your head no. You try to avoid eye contact when he sits down, still feeling annoyed from earlier. 
He lifts his balaclava over his mouth and you both eat in silence. There’s a growing tension around you both. 
You eat your food and busy yourself with your book, however you can feel him looking at you. He ate in silence, his eyes occasionally meeting yours before darting away.
It was irritating.
Earlier he was being rude and barely talking to you and now he was acting timid, the audacity. You started to pick up the pace and eat your lunch faster.
Then he interrupted his silence with his deep sultry voice.
“I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. I was disrespectful to you when you were only trying to help. I'm sorry. I've honestly been sick and tired of sitting around and doing nothing that I took out my anger on you and for that, I apologize.” It sounded like he practiced this. It makes you smile thinking about the Ghost practicing an apology in the mirror. You can just imagine him practicing and it warms your heart that he put this much energy into an apology.
“Thank you for your apology.” You reply in a soft voice.
There was silence for a while but it was interrupted by your voice.
“Um…I know it's hard, not being able to do the things you used to be able to do. I'm sure soon you will be able to get back to your routine and do everything that you want to do… and more. If You need to talk to someone, you can always come and see me. ” You tell him, a bit timidly. All you want to bring comfort to him and reassure him.
“Thank you,” he replies.
“No problem Luitenent” you respond.
“Call me, Simon.”
That was the end of the conversation. There was a soft smile on your face, and you both sat in a comfortable silence, taking quick glances at each other.
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Week 6
This next visit was much more casual than the previous two. Throughout the whole week before this upcoming visit, he’s been stopping by your office. 
In the beginning, he would just stop and say hello and indulge you with some small talk. Nothing more than checking in on you and asking how your day was. However lately, he’s been getting comfortable here. He’s claimed the large decorative leather chair in the corner of your office, closest to your desk. 
He would just sit there and talk to you about anything and everything. Conversations went from favorite foods to his most recent reads to how long you’ve been an RN. 
The other nurses in the building have gotten used to his presence in your office. When they come to visit or drop something off, his presence doesn’t throw them off anymore.  They’re used to the large man sitting comfortably in your office. 
Today was no different, he stopped by in the morning and you both got to chatting. An hour went by when it felt like mere minutes. Time flew by so fast that you almost forgot about his checkup.
“Oh!” You exclaim. “I'm such an idiot, I almost forgot why you were here Simon.” you shoot up from your desk and walk over to the examination table, slapping it twice with a big grin on your face
“Alright Simon, let’s get this over with!” You sell him with a large smile on your face. 
Simon slaps his knees and pushes himself off of the deep and comfortable chair. He makes his way across your office looking at all of the flowers around your office and the Sanrio Characters you have scattered around. 
When he gets to the examination table, just as you're about to move out of the way, he grabs your waist and moves you to the side. He lets his hands linger and he makes eye contact with you as he sits on the chair. 
You're certain he’s smiling under that stupid balaclava.
Cocky bastard. 
You clear your throat and attempt to focus on your work. The checkup only lasts a few minutes, he’s getting so much better. You would be so excited to tell him that he can start getting back to his normal routine, but you're distracted.
Distracted because he’s so touchy. First, he touches your waist, he must know that it has some sort of effect on you because then he touches your clothes. 
During the checkup when you need to do something basic and mindless, he grabs the corner of your coat and rubs yours between his fingers. When you speak to him he’s doing the same with your black scrubs.
“You can start getting back to your regular routine, like training and stuff. Don’t rush it or anything, just …baby steps'' you say, you move yourself to stand in between his legs.
“That right?” He asks but he’s not focused on what you say. He’s focused on your plump lips and you think it’s turning you on. His eyes slowly make their way back to your eyes. 
“Mmmhhh! But nothing too rough.” You reply looking back at him. You feel his hands make their way up your waist. 
“Not even a little rough?” He asks. You both start to lean closer and he takes one hand off of your waist and takes it toward his mask. 
Oh god! What is he doing? Is he going to show his face? Kiss you! Or maybe—
Knock Knock
The loud knock draws your attention away from Simon and you pull yourself away from between his legs.
You clear your throat and attempt to fix yourself even though you two have done nothing. 
“Come in!” You shout, voice cracking a bit. 
One of the more intimidating on-field military nurses enters your office. Unlike you, this nurse is trained for the field and it shows. She is tall with broad muscular shoulders, and she confidently walks into the room with a skeptical look on her face. 
She takes a look at both you and Simon before addressing you. Telling you that your presence is wanted somewhere else. 
“Oh okay… I’ll be there in five ma’am.” You reply and she makes her way out of your office with a raised eyebrow at Simon. 
“Okay, Simon! your next check is in two weeks and that’s your last one, congratulations.” You address Simon trying to make it seem like you don’t remember the moment you two had before you were interrupted. Simon stands and makes his way over to you, stops right in front of you, and towers over you. If he was anyone else you’d give them hell for popping your personal space bubble.
“Alright…Can I see you tomorrow?” he asks, looking down at you. 
“Are you injured?” You ask sarcastically. 
“Got a paper cut. That’s what I get for reading” He shows you his thumb and starts to chuckle. You laugh right along with him. You look up at him and nod, you smile while biting your lip. 
“See you tomorrow Si”
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚⋆❀⋆˚୨୧⋆。 ˚⋆
Week 8
Two months.
He’s known you for two months and he still doesn’t know how to act around you. This past month he’s seen you almost every day constantly visiting you. He feels like every day he’s getting to know you better and better. You’re a genius, graduating high school and college early which explains why you're so young. You love this little Japanese cat thing that’s called Hello Kitty. Your favorite flowers are tulips, and that’s something that stuck out to him. 
Tulips stuck out so much that he used his last day of time off to go out off base and buy you some. Today is his last official visit with you but he most definitely doesn’t want to make it his last time seeing you. He wants to see you more, a lot more. He wants to see you outside of work, he wants to see you outside your work clothes. He wants to see you in jeans, a dress, in his bed—
He shakes his head, trying to stop himself from thinking like that. It’s disrespectful to you, he hasn’t known you for longer than a couple of months, and he can’t think about you that way. 
It’s hard not thinking like that. He thinks about his third visit with you, when you both were rudely interrupted. He thinks about what your waist feels like, what your face looks like. He thinks about it often, especially at night–
He cringes at himself, he feels like a teenage boy who’s never touched a woman. 
He tries to distract himself by looking at the tulips he bought for you. They’re closed and pink with long green stems. They’re beautiful just like you. He doesn’t understand, how someone can be so effortlessly beautiful. 
When you wear makeup or no makeup: beautiful. When you have your hair down and natural, sleek and bone straight, or up in braids, buns, or a scarf: beautiful. He can’t begin to comprehend it. 
Not only are you beautiful on the outside you have the personality of a goddess. You’re kind and compassionate but not afraid to snap back when someone gets out of line. That’s what makes him nervous, the doubts start flooding his mind. 
He’s still staring at the tulips when Soap enters his room. Unannounced. 
Soap comes into his quarters and scatters around the room. He looks in draws and under furniture, he's scattering stuff around as if he lives here. He is tossing his stuff around and looking in places he shouldn't be. Ghost hasn't even looked up, hasn't even acknowledged his presence. Ghost rolls his eyes so far back into his head when he hears Johnny whining to himself. 
“What’re ya lookin’ for Johnny?” He inquires in an irritated tone. 
“Lookin’ for my char–” He cuts himself off as finally looks up at Simon. He sees Simon slouched over his bed looking at the pot with pretty pink tulips and a wide, knowing, mischievous grin appears on his face. He looks like the Cheshire cat.
“Look at you Simon, those for that bird you've become so fond of…”
“Watch it Johnny” Ghost finally looks up, he's not pleased. Johnny continues like a mindless, careless, idiot.
“I've heard the rumors, some field nurse says she saw you two in her office…alone. Good on you Riley. Yer getting old now, ya deserve something like that. Herd shes a beauty too. ” He laughs obnoxiously at his own jokes. He slaps Ghost on the hard on his back and continues searching around his room
Ghost sits in silence for a while, thinking about Johnny’s words, he knows that he is joking, he’s not serious.
‘“Whatdya mean by I deserve something like that?” He finally inquires, the question was practically running around his mind. Johnny continued searching around the room as he answered his question.
“Well you know, ya have had a hard life. Yer always helping people, always trying to be the best, and ya never really had that soft life. I know ya don't think it but yer a good man and you deserve a good woman. We don't live forever so think ya should take the risk and do what you have to do… Are you sure you don't have my charger? He asked after giving some of the most meaningful advice that he'd ever heard.
“Get out,” he replied annoyed by his short attention span.
“Maybe Gaz has it,” he says and leaves the room as if nothing happened.
Those words resonate with Simon and he thinks about them for a long time. The time of the appointment was getting closer and closer. He couldn't stop thinking about it, about what he was going to say to you. He wanted to make it meaningful, he wanted to ask you out on a date. 
He wanted your friendship to continue and he wanted your relationship to grow and become more and more personal. He hasn't done this in a long time and he wanted it to mean something. 
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚⋆❀⋆˚୨୧⋆。 ˚⋆
15 minutes.
He had 15 minutes to figure out what the hell he was going to do.
As he made his way down the familiar hallway toward your office, every step seemed to quicken the pace of his heartbeat. The clock was counting down, each second would go by, getting closer to the moment. In his hands, he held a bouquet of vibrant tulips. He knows that he is catching the eyes of the people around him but each person he passed seemed to fade into the background.
It felt like when he visited you the first time, his hands were sweating and he was nervous. He says ‘hello’ to the woman at the front desk. Even though her attitude has always been rude and uptight however he thanks her every day for sending him to office number 222. The number that completely changed his life.
Now, standing just a few steps away from your door, his mind blanked, and his carefully rehearsed words were completely forgotten. Doubt starting to flood his veins. His hands are sweating again, and his heart is beating a mile a minute. He doesn't know if he can do this, he feels like it is a mistake but his feet won't stop. 
They won't stop because even though his brain is telling him to stop, his heart won't let him.
It's been years since he's ever felt this nervous, he felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He finally arrives in front of your door and holds the flowers behind his back. He gets ready to knock and says a silent prayer to whoever or whatever higher being is listening.  
He knocks.
He waits a beat and then he hears your beautiful voice say “Come on in.”
Right as you say that without thinking Simon impulsively rips off his balaclava off his face and opens the door. He watches as you slowly look up and he swears he sees a natural glow around you. 
“Hi, how can I help you?”
He doesn't respond, instead, he slowly brings the tulips to his front and presents them to you with a soft smile. You look at the man and he watches as you raise an eyebrow, it's like he can see the clogs turning in your head. Then he sees the pieces being put together in your head and your face lights up.
“Simon?” You ask with a gorgeous smile.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚⋆❀⋆˚୨୧⋆。 ˚⋆
giggling and kicking my feet
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esmedelacroix · 3 months
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Gorgeous
when miguel o'hara has a fat crush on f!reader but thinks he's out of her league⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
cw: just some tooth-rotting heart-warming fluffy sweetness, low-key a bit of angst and low self-esteem
a/n: Hey lovies, this story is inspired by "Gorgeous" by Taylor Swift. This is the first time I've ever written something like this, hope you like !🐰🫧
wc: 2.4k
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚
Ever since you had arrived at the spider society there was this unspoken attraction that drew anyone in. It was the way you treated everyone around you with kindness. You were genuine, funny, and not to mention drop-dead gorgeous.
It didn't help that you picked things up so quickly that you were on all of his missions. It's not like he arranged for them to be like that or anything. You were so eager for his approval and were so efficient. When Miguel geeked out about the scientific reasons why certain things affected the multiverse and Hobie would mimic a yawn, he would turn to you and you were always listening intently.
Parties were often held on the roof in celebration of all the different spider people's birthdays. Today's party was Peter Porker's birthday celebration. Everyone was chatting it up, sipping their cocktails, and eating the rather brutal horderves of 'pigs in a blanket'(one of them was probably another one of his uncles).
You were sitting with Miguel, Peter B, and Gwen with Mayday in your lap trying to take a sip of your drink. Miguel was glad to see everyone having fun and letting loose so he decided to have a few extra drinks himself.
♪ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝚑𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑡𝚑𝑎𝑡 I 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑟𝑢𝑛𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑡𝚑𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 ♪
You and your group were all talking about the most random things. You were feeling a bit tipsy and started dragging out your words and slurring them. You talked like what many of your friends called a 'valley girl voice' when you were drunk.
While you were explaining to Gwen and Miguel about the time when you got so drunk you swung into a birthday cake. It was a good thing it was an eight-year-old's Spiderwoman-themed birthday party. You may or may not have been the reason for the Spider Society's "Don't drink and swing" Campaign.
You continued blabbing off and you couldn’t figure out why Miguel was laughing at what you were saying when you weren't even trying to be humorous. "What's so funny?" you asked.
"You've said 'like' 80 times in 10 minutes," he said, fascinated with your complete change in speech when you were drunk.
"So, what?" you said hiccupping between each word.
Does he think I'm weird like everyone else does? You asked yourself.
Does she know how cute she is? He asked himself as he simply shook his head and helped you leave after having too much to drink.
He put you on your bed in your dorm and helped move your hair out of the way wishing you a good night. He knew you couldn't hear him but he couldn't help but say, "You even look beautiful when you sleep, are you even real?"
♪ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝚑𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝚑𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝚑𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒, 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑛𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑓𝑖𝑒𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔 ♪
There were never days when Miguel could be spotted eating in the cafeteria. Until you came around. He was a little shy to sit with you at first until you noticed that he was constantly sitting alone so you sat with him.
You had a certain sad feeling when seeing people eat alone and you would hate to eat alone yourself. The first day you sat with Miguel, the two of you sat in silence as you ate. The second time you both began to warm up to each other and others would even join you.
He wasn't a fan of this because he looked forward to speaking to you alone and getting to know you. But, you had this way about you where you just made people want to be around you. You had an allure that pulled people in and Miguel found himself being one of those people.
But he hoped and prayed he wasn't just 'one of those people' to you. He hoped you were as interested in him as he was in you. But he didn't have your charm, he thought himself to be a bit boring. He didn't have that pearly white contagious smile. He didn't smile often at all, unless he was thinking about you, a joke you made, a compliment you gave him, or the way your hand brushed his hand when you both reached for the same pear in the line for lunch.
Pulling people in with your wit and your naturally gorgeous looks, you also attracted men that liked you too. He hated that other people couldn't see how much he liked you. He hated that you possibly wouldn't choose him in a room full of people.
Jealousy wasn't a feeling he experienced very often. But it consumed him when other people tried to hit on you. It was taking a real toll on him how different he acted when it came to you. He started looking forward to lunch with you although he had to scare some people off to be alone with you.
♪ 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑜𝑢𝑠, 𝑖 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡𝚑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒, '𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒 ♪
It was a slow lazy day at the Spider Society so you went back to your universe. Miguel was lazing around in his little lair doing anything to distract him from opening his files of his daughter and falling back into his hole of despair.
Miguel spontaneously pinged your watch asking what you were up to. He never used them to communicate anything but missions and you knew that, so you found it rather cute that he was using his watch to ask you about your day.
[I'm just chilling at home, super bored] you replied.
[Well maybe I should come visit you] he suggested.
[That would be great] you replied, turning off your watch and sighing while squealing and kicking your feet on your couch in celebration. In minutes Miguel was outside of your balcony tapping on the screen door to garner your attention.
You looked up from the snacks you were preparing for the two of you. You scurried to the door and opened it moving the screen giving Miguel a good look at you. Your hair was in an updo but wisps of it stuck to your neck that was glistening with sweat and framed your face.
He forgot how hot it was in your universe and wished that he had worn something lighter. You took notice and offered him some shorts and a T-shirt. He could barely get the words out because he was too busy noticing everything about you.
The way your beautiful skin glowed with the sunlight hitting your face. The way the sweat on your body added to your usual glow and your soft glossed lips. The way your smile lines became more prominent when you spoke to him.
Indicative that you were a truly smiley person, who loved to tell jokes and laugh. "Did you want to say something?" you asked, looking up at him with those beautiful eyes of yours.
"Nothing, I just hope your boyfriend doesn't mind me borrowing his clothes," he choked out. He couldn't help but assume that you were in a relationship. How could you not be? If you have a boyfriend he's jealous of him, but if you were single that would be worse. Beautiful women like yourself deserve to be in loving relationships.
"I don't have a boyfriend, those are my brothers," you giggled.
"Unfortunately he is not nearly as muscular as you are so they might fit a little tightly," you said as you turned your back to him and continued preparing the snacks after directing him towards the bathroom.
He caught a glimpse of your bikini top under your open-back dress realizing it was a swimsuit coverup. Your universe had tropical weather and lots of beaches. You often wore bikinis under your outfits and you had gone swimming that morning and your coverup didn't exactly cover up the bikini you were wearing underneath.
He was so mesmerized by your face he didn't even realize the outfit that you were wearing. You made your clothes look like they were crafted for a Greek goddess.
The two of you spent the evening talking while watching Love Island Australia. Afterward, you spent the night on the beach, watching the sunset with a fireplace keeping you warm. For the first time, the two of you told each other your deepest thoughts in the dead of night instead of telling the moon. Instead of listening, the moon illuminated your skin causing you to glow even at night making Miguel trip over his words stunned by your beauty.
♪ 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖'𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑓𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑡𝚑𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑦. 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝚑𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑖 𝑠𝑎𝑦? 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑜𝑢𝑠 ♪
After spending some time with you in your universe bonding with you, Miguel couldn't bring himself to be around you. You knew so much about him. He was afraid that maybe you thought he was weak. He had told people about losing his daughter before but he never in depth talked about how it made him feel. He never told anyone how many times he thought of her.
Or how many random things reminded him of her. He never told anyone about the pink and teal version of his suit that he made just for her because those were her two favorite colors. He made sure to never show people the side of him that was mourning his daughter because he thought it was weak.
He started subtly avoiding you because he was ashamed and embarrassed. He was glad that you both knew such intimate things about each other but it was hard for him to not feel embarrassed.
He returned to his usual habits of locking himself in his lair during lunch and all throughout the day. He only left for missions that he made sure you weren't on. He didn't know why was acting this way. I made him angry at how his brain was forcing him to stay away and it felt like a string was pulling his heart to yours.
He wanted to be with you so badly that you consumed his thoughts. It was only an hour later when he realized that instead of writing a mission report, he was writing your name repeatedly. 24 pages of just you. That was how much was in his mind.
He decided to hit the gym to try to get you off his mind. It was packed as always, he scanned the room and didn't see you there. His heart sank a little but his mind convinced him to be at ease because he wouldn't have to face you.
♪ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝚑𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝚑𝑎𝑡 𝑖'𝑚 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝚑𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ♪
He did a pretty good job of avoiding you. Until he couldn't. Peter B had invited him to dinner and failed to mention that he had also invited you. He was mutual friends with the two of you and immediately pieced together that you two were perfect for each other but too self-conscious to realize that the feelings were mutual.
Dinner was okay except for the fact that Miguel wouldn't even speak to you at a social gathering. You could feel his eyes on you but he still would talk to you.
Meanwhile, Miguel was a nervous wreck bouncing his leg under the table. He was rehearsing what he should say to you, and figuring out ways to join in on the conversation to speak to you.
The moment he looked your way he was anxious. You were so stunning it was hard for him to think straight. You thought maybe he was completely done with you after you revealed some of your deepest thoughts and secrets to him that night. It was a shame because after hearing about Gabi you sympathized with him and wanted to get to know him better and just be around him.
Peter B picked up on this and found a way to usher the two of you out to the dimly lit porch that outlooked his backyard with little fairy lights hanging above accompanied by fireflies flying above your heads. He was pretending to tidy up and do dishes but he was truthfully analyzing your body language with MJ and Mayday trying to figure out how the conversation was going. "So we haven't spoken in a while," he started.
"Can we not beat around the bush? Can I just ask you a question straight up?" you asked.
"Yes, of course," he replied, stumbling on his words a bit as you found his eyes.
"Do you not want to be around me because of the things I told you that night at the beach?" you asked, looking at him with an almost worried expression.
"What? God, know that actually made me respect you even more than I already did before," he chuckled.
"Then why haven't you been speaking to me?" you asked, sighing a bit thankful that he didn't dislike you.
"I thought you'd think I was weak after I told you about Gabi and everything," he revealed.
"You're kidding. After you opened up about that I only thought of how strong you were and how much I wanted to get to know you more," you admitted.
"Oh wow, I wish I had communicated better," he said.
"I wish I tried harder for you," you admitted.
The heat rose to Miguel's cheeks and he looked forward and he looked at the starry sky.
♪ 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝚑𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝚑𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝚑𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑐𝚑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑦 𝚑𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝚑𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚 ♪
The two of you sat in a comfortable silence listening to the lullaby nature was creating around you with the rustle of leaves, creaks of frogs, screams of crickets, and whos of owls.
In the melodic chaos of the night, Miguel's hand inched closer and closer to yours. He was almost holding his breath from the tension and suspense he felt as he slowly inched his hand closer.
He hoped that when his hand brushed yours you wouldn't pull it away or shudder but hold his hand too. Little did he know you were doing the same. From the inside of the house, Peter watched the two of you slowly intertwine hands and he saw you lean against Miguel's broad shoulder.
Miguel's heart skipped a beat when he felt you intertwine your fingers with his. Nothing could have made him happier than the confirmation that you felt the same way about Miguel. The two of you stayed outside for a while staring at the vast sky enjoying each other's comfort.
"The moon looks beautiful tonight"
. . .
the end <3
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l0standn0tf0und · 4 months
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damn perfect hair and damn marvelous eyes
george weasley x fem!reader (hints on short!bookworm!fem!reader)
words| +- 4400
in short|  classic story. George falls in love with his best friend. nothing more and nothing less
warnings| my english, angst, fluffy ending, mention of sex and long ranting about George's feelings
author’s note| it's supposed to be a short one. About 1000 words or so, but I got excited. and well, I tried to make it George's pov. because, you know, ✨️his pov✨️. also, it's my first scribbling in two years. enjoy))
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He has been with other girls. He'd even said he has been with a lot of other girls.
There were a couple of girls he dated for a while. There were those he just fucked with. A quickie after a Quidditch match won't hurt anyone. It doesn't matter whether he won this match or not. He's well aware of the fact, that girls like him. But none of these so-called relationships were serious. Perhaps this was because he didn't consider any of them as something serious.
He tried this relationship thing because he was curious, what it's like to date a girl. But during his dates, bringing a cup, all painted with tiny violets, to his lips and listening to the chatter of his now ex-girlfriend, he thought that she'd never say such a thing and she'd never order such a lusciously sweet cupcake. And she wouldn't have dragged him to Madam Puddifoot's in the first place.
After smashing Hufflepuff to smithereens on the Quidditch field, he pressed some Ravenclaw's back to one of the walls in the locker room, pounding deep into her, hearing this girl's moans become louder with each thrust. He caught himself thinking about what her moans would sound like. Would she be filthy and loud underneath him or her moans would be more shaky and soft?
He wouldn't say any of these girls were bad, unattractive, or something like that. Just the opposite, all of them were great. But they simply weren't…her. She got deep under his skin, intertwined with his veins, and blossomed in his lungs. She was his Flower. That's how he called her.
George remembers clearly well how it started. No, not his feelings, they started so naturally, that he didn't even notice how he fell for her. George remembers clearly well how he started calling her flower. This happened back in the second year, during History of Magic. He was getting more and more bored by the second in that stuffy classroom. And there was nothing unusual about it. He got bored very easily. So he quietly began scribbling in the corner of her parchment. He remembers the angry look little Y/N gave him as she carefully pushed her piece of paper away from the redhead. She was also bored but did her best to focus on Professor Binns' words. But George continued, all smiling and trying to stifle his giggles caused by her irritation. At some point, his incomprehensible doodles began to look like something that resembled Professor Binns, but his glasses and mustache were abnormally large compared to everything else. She smiled, took George's hand, and carefully drew a tiny flower on his wrist, before returning her attention to Professor. It took him a while to find out what exactly she drew with so neat lines. It looked like an iris or daffodil, he couldn't tell exactly and she didn't know either. But after that she became flower. His flower.
And now George is sitting in the library. He came here to at least start an essay on Potions. Snape become ruthless lately, so it was easier to work in a group on this 5-page assignment about Golpalott's Third Law. That's how he, Y/N, Fred, and Lee ended up in the library. George knew that this was one of her favorite places at Hogwarts. Two and a half hours earlier, when they had passed Madam Pince's stern gaze, he almost unconsciously walked to her favorite table, between the Poetry and Reference sections.
George's re-reading the same sentence in the book for the seventh time. There's something about the idea that a whole product is greater than the sum of its parts, but he can't really understand its meaning because he's thinking about her. It would be more accurate to say that he's thinking about what Lee and Fred had said about her. The evening before, his twin, the only person in this world who was closer to George than Y/N, again claimed that his love was mutual. Fred constantly tried to push him to confess his feelings. His argumentation was always the same. Fred said that he’s older, which means wiser, and he sees everything, how she steals glances at his little shy brother in classes and how she blushes just as much when George is near. But that evening, Lee has added some new information, which George still tries to process and connects with everything else these two have been telling him through the years.
George returns to yesterday in his thoughts. He was lying on his bed again, hopelessly pressing his face into the soft fabric of the pillow, while these two opened the Pandora's box again. Sometimes it seemed to George that they were enjoying this ranting about his 'unrequited' love situation over and over again.
"Ok, look, if she felt nothing but platonic stuff, she'd not be this frustrated when she found out about you and Jane" Lee spoke in a devious voice, getting more comfortable on his bed.
"Wasn't it Jade?" Fred's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Doesn't matter, I mean this Hufflepuff blondie with the ribbon"
"She's Janis" George sighed. He remembered this relationship, which lasted just over a month or so. Janis was nice, but she talked a bit too much. And this black ribbon, which she constantly wore as a headband, pissed him off. He admitted that the ribbon matched well with her uniform and emphasized the brightness of her hair. But something was wrong with it.
"I thought she was Jade"
"Anyway, why are you telling me about this now?" curiosity and a slight note of annoyance were noticeable in George's voice "It was quite a long ago."
"Look, mate. I'm your friend, right?" Lee sat down, crossed his legs, and the blanket crumpled under his weight. One more movement and the red piece of cloth would end up on the floor. "But I'm her friend as well. She knows that I know. And knows that I overheard that conversation of hers. And I promised, I won't blab it to you…But as it turns out, I'm not the best secret keeper and I'm more of a friend to you than to Y/N"
To tell the truth, Lee was a great secret keeper. Just like he was a great friend. This made George seriously wonder why Lee broke the promise. And so unceremoniously 'blabbed' everything to him. What if he's really as blind as he was told and doesn't see obvious things. He doesn't deny the possibility that she liked him too. More precisely, he doesn't want to deny it. He hopes that Y/N also feels something that crosses the boundaries of friendship. Even if her feelings aren't as strong and all-consuming as his. As if time collapses into one tiny speck and explodes at light speed every time George sees her. He hopes for at least something, for at least a tiny feeling, a tiny sparkle in her heart that flares up at the sight of the tall redhead.
Many times he imagined and replayed in his head the moment he would confess his feelings. Tell her how all the sounds around become quiet when he hears her laugh, how each and every touch imprints and burns on his skin. He dreamed, how he would tell how much he loved her, that he could finally be honest and reveal everything that was in his head and heart.
But the younger twin thinks the stakes are too high. And maybe he's right because she thinks the same thing to herself. Even though George wants more, he doesn't want to risk everything he has right now. His eyes begin to water and a lump rises in his throat every time he assumes he could lose Y/N. His flower. He knows her too well to predict what would happen next if his feelings weren't mutual. Their communication will become awkward, they both will be cautious and afraid of saying or doing something wrong. And then, after some time of this weird communication, their connection will fade away. And even if his love is mutual, what if he and Y/N don’t work out as a couple? What then?
He can't let their previous and future years of friendship go down the drain. Y/N was the first person he and Fred met on the Hogwarts Express. And from the very first year and the very first greeting, the three of them became inseparable. Always together.
She wanted to be a prefect, so she avoided detentions and tried not to get involved in their pranks directly. But Y/N was always there, helped to plan each of their mischiefs, assisted with new inventions, and saved him and his brother from professors. George can't remember how many times she rescued them from Filch while she was patrolling the corridors. He was so proud of her last year when she finally received this little silver pin that gave her extra authority and responsibilities.
George can't imagine Christmas without Y/N now. She visits the Burrow every year and his mom adores her. Perhaps because Y/N helps with cooking more than anyone else in this house. But George can imagine in detail how hard his mother would scold him if he suddenly announce that Y/N won't come for winter break this year because he's an idiot and they stopped talking to each other.
It's not Christmas without having a snowball fight with her and Fred in the backyard. At some point, she always tries to throw Fred into the snow. But due to the obvious height difference and Fred's strength privilege, she never succeeds in this. So she's becoming the one who's giggling on the ground, covered with snow. George always laughs at this little performance while his very kind twin scatters her down with even more snow.
George's envious of his brother in some way. Fred has never seen Y/N as more than a friend or a second sister. He's envious that his twin's heart doesn't ache as much as his does. And his older brother doesn't have to make such a difficult decision. No, George doesn't wish his brother pain. No way. He just doesn't want to suffer himself. George understands, that he's not just at risk of losing her, but also at risk of depriving Fred of his best friend too. If he and Y/N don't work out, what will happen to her friendship with Fred? Yes, perhaps they will be able to maintain some thread of communication. But they certainly won’t be best friends like they are now. George wouldn't handle it. He believes that it's better to be content with the small moments he has than to lose everything.
"Where are you going?" Fred's question snaps the younger twin out of his thoughts. He's still in the library and didn’t even notice how the chair next to him became empty, as Y/N headed towards one of the sections.
“I need this book, about…” her words meet Fred's raised eyebrows "I just need another book"
A quiet “uh-huh,” sounds either from Fred or Lee as her back is already hidden between the shelves full of colorful covers.
George looks for a while longer after Y/N. If someone raised their head from studies or books and glanced at the redhead, they would see the gears turning in his head.
“I…” George moves away from the table. Legs of the chair slide across the floor with a quiet rustle. He tries to come up with some kind of a reason, but Lee is faster.
“We got it, loverboy in shining armor, go already and help your princess” In response George groanes, and a quiet "fuck off" slips from his lips as he heads after his 'princess'. He doesn't know why he decided to follow Y/N. He just wants to. Perhaps he simply feels calmer when she's around, she gives him a feeling of warmth and home just by being near.
And there she is, just three bookshelves away. George can understand why she likes spending time in the library, although he doesn't share this sympathy. It's quiet and peaceful here. High ceilings, impressive columns, and alive stained glass windows are throughout Hogwarts, but they look especially charming in this place. Perhaps it's the specific lighting or the huge number of cabinets filled with old parchment and colored bindings. And, to be honest, he likes the smell of books. There is something about that scent that the redhead can't explain.
Y/N walks along the shelf at the end of the bookrack. Her gaze runs along the top row of colored spines, searching for what she needs. Her hair is up in a messy, almost domestic, bun and secured with a wand. But some strands fell down, framing her face and descending down her neck. The tie hangs loosely around her neck. She undid it after half an hour in the library.
George just stands there and admires her for a while, unable to tear his gaze away. It seems to him as if a soft golden glow surrounds each curve of her glorious body. And this light calls him to come closer. None of the other girls looked like her in his eyes. He swallows, breaks out of this perfect trance, and quietly heads to her.
The girl stands on the very tips of her black shiny shoes. Her fingers almost touch that very book on the top shelf. "Why the hell do they always shove the most useful stuff so far away?" Y/N thinks to herself before long fingers touch the cover of the "Ingredient Encyclopedia". She sees as right above her head a familiar freckled hand takes the faded green binding from its place.
"You're welcome, flower" Y/N turns around at the sound of the voice and finds herself trapped between the worn books and George.
The corners of his lips lift slightly and the younger twin can feel the warmth approaching his cheeks. He can't control it and, to be honest, he doesn't care when she's only millimeters away.
Her "Thank you" is so quiet that George isn't sure she actually said it. Their eyes meet, and it seems to redhead that everything that happened next was in slow motion.
She just wanted to take the book. Such an innocent action. She inhales sharply as her fingertips accidentally brush his hand. He feels high-voltage sparks come from this touch and spread further throughout his whole body and explode where his heart is.
They both froze, not breathing and not breaking an eye contact. George could swear he was ready to give everything he had to live in this moment forever. Just standing next to her in an empty section of the Hogwarts library. Looking into her eyes, losing himself in their depths. And feel the warmth radiating from her hand on his.
Earlier, he thought he'd be nervous at a moment like this but he isn't. He just stares at her eyes, then at her parted lips. "George, don’t do it" he repeats to himself. His fingers shudder imperceptibly with the thought of taking her wand from messy hair, so her locks would fall freely on her fragile shoulders. "Control yourself". He's trying, so damn hard trying not to bury his hands into these shiny strands and pull her into a kiss. It takes all his strength not to. And George doesn't know what happened. Was it Y/N's rosy blush and his brother's words about mutuality flashing through his head. Was it her, standing so close that he could smell his amortentia coming from the girl.
But he gives up. George bends down, without even thinking about it, and presses his lips to hers
George pulls away even faster than he has leaned toward her. There is exposed fear in his widely opened eyes. Eyebrows are raised as the realization crushes his thoughts. His mouth opens and closes without making any sound. It seems that he's more shocked by his own action than Y/N herself.
He fucked up. He knows it.
Y\N stands there still. And this is the first time in the redhead's life that he can't read the emotions of his best friend. "Ingredient Encyclopedia" is still in her palm, but George abruptly pulls his hand away, losing all the warmth she provided to him.
"I'm…I'm sorry" is the only thing he mumbles before storming away from the book section, from the library, from her.
George almost knocks down a first-year with a blue tie when he rushes out around the corner. He fucked up. Y/N didn’t respond to his kiss, she didn’t react at all. She just froze in place. George doesn't understand how he could let himself do this. He shouldn't have. He heads towards the huge wooden door with such speed that some students' parchments fly off their desks. He doesn't notice this, nor the questions from Fred and Lee, that meet his broad back, nor the comments of the furious Madam Pince.
She appears around the corner shortly after George, calling his name. She throws the book on the table and quickly walks past her friends. The faded green binding slides across the wooden surface and lands near Lee's inkpot. Another millimeter and the small glass jar would have been knocked down and poured a black liquid onto the pieces of parchment, only half written with essay.
"For Merlin's sake, what is going on?"
“I'll bet you a galleon that George confessed to her and ran away” Fred speaks with a sly grin, shifting his gaze from the hurrying Y/N to his dormmate.
"Too much drama for these two, don't you think?"
"So…?"
"You're on" Lee agrees, moving the book away from his writings. He only managed to write the introduction and the beginning of the first few theses. It was far from 5 pages but it was at least something and definitely more than George wrote.
George walks through the library entrance. He feels like everything is crumbling inside him as he walks. The sound of his heart pounding in the ears muffles the voice calling his name somewhere behind the back.
"George!…"
He is supposed to be happy. He finally did what he had dreamed of for many years. He finally kissed the girl he was so hopelessly in love with. But instead, he feels as if a dozen Dementors attacked him. All of the hope and happiness have been sucked out of the world.
"George!…"
He'd better get away from here as fast as possible. He'd explain himself later. He'd better get to his safe space. But where should he go if he felt safe only next to her?
"George!….for Merlin's sake!….. I can't keep up with you!"
He recalls everything in his head, from what happened a minute ago to the first time he saw Y\N. He understands that all those happy moments, the tenderness, the memories they both made and the plans for the future, are all gone. He's so disappointed and so angry with himself.
"George!…"
"What?!" He stops and turns around, seeing the girl almost running along the empty corridor of Hogwarts, approaching him.
George heard her calling him. But he's not ready to face the consequences. Not now. He needs time to pull himself back together and come up with something. But he gives up. Again.
"What do you wanna hear, Y|N?!" His hands shoot up in a questioning gesture. "That I'm head over heels in love with you? With your damn perfect hair and damn marvelous eyes! With your damn angelic laughter, which drowns out all other sounds for me! And I even with the way your brows frown when you're concentrated!"
"Georgie…" He doesn't seem to notice her soft voice but continues. She wants to say something, but his confession is unstoppable. And she understands this, so she decides to just let him rant.
"Or do you wanna hear that you became a fixed point in my mind where my thoughts always come back to? That I randomly grin to myself like an idiot when I think about anything related to you. I don't know when exactly I fell for you. But it feels like I've always loved you. You're doing something to me, no one else ever could. You make me feel special and not just another poor Weasley or the second clown of Hogwarts. Every damn time you make me feel important because of who I am and not because I'm the beater or I'm the easiest way to get to Fred." His voice became calmer with each sentence. The irritated raised tone turns into his normal deep timbre, and then it will turn into a soft mumbling. " And you make all of my anxiety and worries turn off just by your presence. I was so fucking angry with myself and you did something I dunno how to explain. So now I can't be this angry. And you are…you are just….you"
She stands next to him. Almost as close as it was back then in the library. Perhaps if George wasn't so nervous, he'd realize that he liked the scent of books because it was her scent. Every time she left the library after spending several hours there, she had this slightest scent on her. It mixed with her perfume and shampoo, so it was impossible to separate and difficult to notice it.
"Are you done?" George doesn't know what to do and just nods his ginger head. Then she rises on her tiptoes and neat fingers finds the collar of his white shirt and pulls it towards her, forcing George to lean forward. Her lips touch his. Again. Only for a few seconds but this makes him blush even more, if it's possible. His freckles aren't this noticeable anymore.
The girl pulls away, the heels of her shoes meet the cold floor and her hands slide onto George's chest. But he continues to stand slightly bent forward, batting his eyelashes. She still has to lift her head slightly to look him in the eyes. In the future, this height difference will piss her off sometimes, but he'll enjoy it endlessly, liking this even more every time.
George stares deeply into her eyes, trying to understand what just happened. But he feels that he can breathe again. And somewhere inside, where his soul is, irises and daffodils and all the other flowers start to blossom slowly. Did she really kiss him? But earlier…
"But you've…." His eyebrows furrow as the puzzles are slowly coming together in his head.
"I was taken by surprise" She explains as she watches his face soften, lips rise into a wide grin that he can't stop. And why the hell should he stop it. "And you didn't give me time to understand what's going on"
George covers her hand with his own. That hand that's laying so peacefully on his rapidly beating heart.
“Sorry,” he chuckles, millimeters from her face. She can feel his breath on her lips, like a ghost kiss, dragging the moment before he crushes his lips down on hers into another real one.
Her lips are soft, almost silken, and pillowy against his own. This kiss is not just a peck, like the previous ones. This time George can understand that her lips are not exactly what he thought. Her lips feel thousands of times better than he could ever imagine. He finally feels relieve and all the world's happiness. All the happiness he supposed to feel. Happiness, that had been accumulating for a long time and didn't leave the palace of his dreams, Finally to escape to freedom. His palms find their place around her waist as he pulls her closer, forcing their bodies to collapse into each other, holding each other as tightly as humanly possible. Her hands shoot up to his hair, slowly letting her fingers slip into ginger strands. He kisses Y/N like he has never kissed anyone else before. With all the tenderness and love he has kept locked in his heart till this moment. George doesn’t see this, but he feels how the gray world around him is filled with colors again. The warmth spreads all over his body and his brain stops working properly.
This girl, this bright and breathtaking girl, is his. Their lips moved softly, delicately, and almost innocently before. But Y/N is driving him insane and intoxicate him with the sweet smell of her body. He can feel her hand slide to his nape and she lightly runs fingers up along his neck. Tiny soft moans escape his lips in the surprise of the goosebumps this action sent down his body. As a response, George brings up his freckled hands to cup her face. His calloused fingers caress her flushed cheeks as he nibbles her lower lip, not so hard to hurt, but enough for Y/N to feel it. Now it's her turn to let out a small, barely audible moan, which makes him break out into a shit-eating grin.
The girl gently pulls away, while George still holds her face in his warm hands.
"I love you too, Georgie. And your damn perfect hair and damn marvelous eyes"
Bonus:
He lets out a giggle caused by quoting. He's unable to open his eyes for a few moments after this kiss, a huge smile on his face
"But…"
"But…?" The question sounds teasing even though his voice is hoarse.
"We have an essay to finish. It's due tomorrow, and you haven't even written a sentence yet." she wrinkles her nose in a taunting way.
"Nooooo" Redhead lets out a groan, throwing his head back. "Don't make me do this, Flower"
"I won't write it for you" She kisses his pouty lips as a response to the puppy gaze he gave her. Y/N frees herself from his cozy grip and heads towards the library. "You'd better write at least something unless you prefer scrubbing cauldron instead of…let's say…sneaking into Hogsmeade."
George catches up with her a couple of seconds later. He slightly leans down just for a moment to catch her hand in his and intertwine their fingers.
"Y/N…." he tries this 'puppy gaze trick' again.
"Fine." She sighs in defeat "I will help you with a plan and theses, but you will write it yourself."
George breaks into a smile once again and brings her hand to his lips, leaving kisses on her knuckles. Well, the thesis for Someone's Third Law is at least something. Plus, he’s sure that he’s sure Y/N will write his essay as soon as she finishes hers. And, to be honest, Fred's too.
After some time, when they are a meter from the huge wooden door, George suddenly wonders.
"Galleons or Sickles?"
"What?"
"Galleons or Sickles?" He repeats, opening the door in front of Y/N
"Wait, you're wondering how much they bet on us, aren't you?"
George overtakes the girl, ending up in front of her, and leans down so that their eyes are at the same level. He shoves his hands into pockets and wrinkles his nose therefore mocking Y/N's previous actions.
"I'll bet a Galleon that Lee owes Fred a Galleon"
masterpost
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mrsbrookemunson · 1 year
Note
I've seen a few stories about the reader being Eddie's secret admirer but what about the other way around? Eddie is your secret admirer and leaves you little notes in your locker. He praises you and encourages you-- maybe a little pick-me-up when you're feeling down. Occasionally he'll slip small gifts into your backpack. Anything to see you smile :)
I love this idea. This is going to be a little self-indulgent, not gonna lie.
Warnings: TOOTH. ROTTING. FLUFF. a lil angst, insecure reader, no use of pronouns, no use of 'y/n', Eddie's a little bit of an idiot, very low-key stalker!Eddie, Robin, mentions of unrequited feelings (it's rumored he likes Chrissy), not proofread so most likely grammar and spelling errors (sorry)
Word Count: 3923
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Eddie Munson was absolutely enamored by you. He didn't quite know what it was that drew him to you. You weren't part of the popular crowd, you only had your small group of friends, and you always seemed to be so... self-conscious - or so he noticed.
Maybe that was where he got the idea in the first place.
He noticed you were especially quiet one day. Head down, headphones over your ears as you wrote seamlessly in your journal. He wondered what you were writing about, what you were listening to, and why you had a small frown etched onto your face.
Had someone said something to you?
You suddenly raised your hand.
His head snapped forward.
Had you caught him staring? Were you going to say something? Humiliate him? He pictured a thousand ways this could go.
"May I go to the restroom, please?" you asked, timidly.
But, that wasn't one of them.
"Quickly please..." the teacher granted.
You got up and walked out of the classroom. Eddie glanced over at your journal, a pen in between the pages, bookmarking where you left off. He bit his lip, concentrating on something before a lightbulb lit up in his mind. He glimpsed at the teacher than at the door before ripping a small piece of paper out of his notebook. His tongue ever-so-slightly poked out as he scribbled down something in a hurry before leaning over to slip it in between the pages of your journal.
The bell rang right when you stepped back into the classroom, giving Eddie the perfect opportunity to leave undetected. He smoothly slipped passed you, your shoulders brushing each other's. It sent sparks up through his body. The feeling lingered and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face.
He wanted to watch your reaction, but that would risk giving him away. He forced himself away, already planning his next plan of action.
You on the other hand were in shock.
Good job on the test. I saw you got an A. You're too smart for the rest of this school... and too pretty. - Love, your secret admirer &lt;3
Your eyebrows furrowed a little. Neither one of this person's statements were necessarily true. There were people way prettier than you here, not to mention smarter. But, nonetheless it was nice to hear. It brought a smile to your face, but it slowly fell.
Surely, this is a joke.
You were surprised to say the least the next morning when you opened your locker and a note fluttered down, out and onto the floor. You leaned down to pick it up and carefully looked around whilst standing upright. You unfolded the piece of paper.
Did I mention you were pretty in my last note? I did't mean to sound creepy - not to say you aren't pretty because you are very pretty, I could stare at you all day. Don't read that. - Love, your secret, not creepy, admirer :)
You giggled at the slight awkwardness the writing held. It was almost endearing. Key word: Almost. You still couldn't help but think this was some kind of joke.
"What's that?" Robin asked, pointing to the note in your hand.
"Wha-oh nothing!" You stuck it in your pocket.
"Oooo, does someone have a secret admirer?" she teased
"What?! No, that's-that's silly," you denied "It was just trash, something from an old assignment."
"Uh huh, sure."
"Robin!" you scolded, annoyed. "I'm being serious."
She put her hands up in surrender. "Whatever. You. Say."
You rolled your eyes, as the two of you began to walk side-by-side to your first period.
"But, if it is a secret admirer, who do you think it is? Who do you want it to be?"
"Look." You stopped walking, cuing Robin to also stop. "Even if it is something, it's probably a joke. One of the jocks playing some cruel prank on me." You glanced behind you and saw none other than Eddie Munson standing there staring at you. You smiled when you met his eyes.
His eyes widened a slight blush creeping up onto his cheeks, as he rushed off.
Robin caught the interaction. "What was that all about?" she asked, excitedly.
"Nothing!"
"What if it's him?"
"Who? Eddie?"
"Yes, Eddie!"
You shook your head. "No. That can't be possible, wasn't it rumored he liked Chrissy a couple of months ago?" You started to walk again.
"Firstly, that was a couple of months ago, and secondly, it was 'rumored'. It was never confirmed."
"Doesn't sound unreasonable to me," you said, not trying to sound too upset. "Guys like Eddie, don't like girls like me."
"You want it to be him, don't you?"
"Forget it, it's not important. What is important is the Econ test."
Robin groaned loudly, reluctantly stepping into the classroom. You turned back to where Eddie was previously standing and with a loud sigh you entered the classroom.
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Eddie's eyes were glued to you in the cafeteria. You were cheerfully talking to Robin about something and his heart couldn't help but flutter at the way your eyes lit up. What he'd give to be able to talk with you, and listen to that sweet voice of yours for hours.
He watched, intently, as your eyes suddenly caught your reflection on something. He saw the way you slumped before attempting to sit up more. The grimace on your face growing more evident by the second.
Why the Hell were you looking at the love of his life that way?
He ripped out a piece of paper and wrote something down. Standing up, he stormed out of the cafeteria and to your locker where he slipped the note in. He scanned his surroundings and saw no one around to ruin the secret before it had really even started. Whistling, as he goes to his locker. He opened it when a note fell from it. He picked it up and read it.
Meet me in the woods at 12:15 tomorrow. Bring whatever you have. - C.C.
C.C.? His eyes widened in realization.
Chrissy Cunningham wants to do a drug deal?
You smiled, softly, when you saw your secret admirer had left you yet another note.
No matter what you think, you look absolutely beautiful today - and everyday. I like you in blue. - Love, your secret admirer &lt;3
You felt as though you were in a daze. You looked down at your blue sweater which - until now - you felt like a blimp in. Guess, whoever your secret admirer is thought otherwise. You bite your lip and tucked the note in between the pages of your journal where you'd keep - like all the rest of them - it there for safe keeping.
"Anymore love letters?" Robin asked, scaring you.
"Don't do that!" You put a hand over your heart as if it'd help slow it down from its rapid pace. "Yeah, if you consider them love letters."
"Do you want me to try to help you figure them out?"
"If you say-"
"I'll start. Eddie."
"Robin!" You slam your locker and walk away. "It's not him."
"Talk to him, be friendly, see what happens-hey, I might be right!"
"That would be the first."
"Hey!" She grabbed your shoulder to stop you. "I know it's really hard to be brave because you're scared of what the outcome could be, but think about it-if this person is being genuine, you might have something really special here."
You sigh. "I'll think about it, okay?"
Robin grins, widely. "Now, start with Eddie."
You roll your eyes. "Fine, but only to get you off my back, and cross him off the list."
It can't be him, it's impossible.
You sat down at your usual seat, now being awkwardly aware it's next to Eddie's seat. You pull out your journal, smiling when you see the note previous notes you've received. You turn back to your backpack to grab your pen but are surprised to see that there is a new set of pens next to your pencil bag. You pull it out and observe it. They were nice, really nice. One in blue, pink, red, black, orange, green, and purple. A note attached to them.
Thought you might like these since you write so much. I noticed you color code things sometimes so I bought you a couple of different colors to give you some options. Hope you like them - Love, your secret - now broke - admirer.
You laugh, pleasantly surprised. You remembered leaving your backpack on a chair in the cafeteria that morning while you used the bathroom. You tend to forget to go at home due oversleeping, leading to the frantic rush of trying to get ready in time.
Eddie perked up hearing the sound of your laughter beside him making him look over. His breath hitched in his throat - you liked his note, you liked him present, you were liking him. He cleared his throat. "What's that you got?"
You froze for a moment. "Huh?" You looked at Eddie.
He pointed toward the note. "Got a secret admirer or something?"
You bit back a smile. "Something like that." You couldn't hide your giddiness.
Eddie found it absolutely adorable. "Any ideas of who it is?"
"Nope, not a clue." You narrowed your eyes at him. "Wouldn't be you, would it?"
Eddie nearly choked, but he somehow held his composure. "Sorry, sweetheart, but it is not."
You shrugged, not even noticing the slip of the pet name in his answer. "I figured."
He gave you a confused expression. "You-you figured?"
"Well, yeah, everyone knows you-" you leaned closer toward him. "You like Chrissy," you whispered.
He gaped at you. "Chrissy?"
"Yeah."
"Where on Earth did you hear that?"
"People were talking about it a couple of months ago. Don't tell me it's not true."
His posture straightened. "What if I told you it wasn't?"
You weakly smiled. "I'd call you a liar," you replied, softly. Paying attention to the teacher as she started the class.
It made it so you didn't catch the way Eddie sunk further into his seat.
What had he done?
That was his chance to tell you how he felt, and he blew it.
Chrissy Cunningham?
Now, all he thought about for the rest of class was the fact that he was having a drug deal with his so-called 'crush' tomorrow in the woods.
Wasn't it obvious he was in love with you?
The answer is no, no it wasn't because if it was maybe you would've already pulled the plug and ask him out, but you hadn't and you wouldn't especially not after his lack of denial for liking Chrissy Cunningham.
Robin was wrong.
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"You were wrong," you said to Robin, passing by her quickly in the hallway.
It was the next day, the bell for the lunch period had rung just a few seconds ago and you were briefly explaining your avoidance to your best friend.
"But, I'm never wrong!" she claimed in a shout over the crowd. "He's lying!"
You rolled your eyes, leaving the hustle and bustle of students going to the cafeteria. You needed to be alone. Alone in your thoughts, where it's just you and your journal... and maybe a few tears.
Because though Robin may have been wrong about it being Eddie, she wasn't wrong about you wanting it to be Eddie. You had gotten a note from your secret admirer yesterday before school ended saying,
I know you don't know who I am, but I need you to know I like you... a lot. And I know we don't talk that much, but I want to, because you are so amazing and why wouldn't I want to be with you? Who wouldn't want to be with you? Everyday I question myself on why I haven't bit the bullet yet and asked you out and it's because I'm afraid. Of how you'd react, of how others would react, and I don't want to risk having you hate me. Which I doubt you would anyways because you're you, the nicest person I've ever spoken to. So, please, give me time to work up the courage, don't give up on me, I don't think I could take it. I'm done now, maybe this scared you off - probably scared you off... um... bye- your secret admirer.
You thought back to how your heart squeezed as you read every word. You wished you knew who it was, so you could put their mind at peace. So, you could put your mind at peace.
You found yourself in the woods, setting your stuff down on the wooden table that was placed in the most secluded part of the area. Hardly no one goes out there. It was a place you could allow yourself to pace around and think things through.
Who is it?
That was the number one question. You attempted to conjure a mental list of possible candidates but you always drew a blank every time you tried.
Who would ever like-
You screamed as your back collided into something behind you. You spun around.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Eddie chuckled, holding out a hand.
"Eddie? Wh-what are you doing out here?"
"Confidential," he said, analyzing your overall physical presence. "You okay?" he asked.
"Define 'okay'." You dryly laugh, sitting down at the table.
He frowned and sat across from you, setting his metal lunchbox next to your stuff. "You want to tell me about it? Or do I have to guess?"
You rest your forearms on the table. "Do you ever feel like-like you don't fit in?"
He looked taken aback. "On-like-a daily basis," he answered, a wide smile taking over his face, directed toward you. "You forget you're talking to 'the freak', sweetheart."
You groaned softly.
That made his smile falter. "Why d'you ask?"
You shrugged, suddenly your hands become fascinating as you stared at them fidgeting. "Guess I haven't been feeling-" You cleared your throat, "-great about myself lately, that's all?"
He propped himself up slightly on the table. "Something happen?"
"More like someone." You glanced up at him to gauge at his expression. It held concern. You carelessly threw your hands up. "You know that admirer I spoke about the other day?"
He nodded, slowly. "Yeah."
"I've been wracking my mind trying to figure out who it is, and I just... can't. Sometimes I believe I'm a little unlovable at times."
"What?!" he blurted. "Sweetheart, that's not true, you are so lovable!"
You grew very confused by his sudden outburst, but he didn't seem to catch on as he continued.
He stood up and walked over to your side of the table to sit next to you. To have your full attention. "You are smart, funny, talented and so, so beautiful." Your heart skipped a beat. "God, who wouldn't want to be with you?"
Your eyes shot up to meet his. "What did you say?"
"Huh?" He tilted his head. "You-you didn't hear any of that?"
"No-yes! I mean what did you say at the end?"
"Who wouldn't want to be with you?" he repeated unsure.
Why wouldn't I want to be with you? Who wouldn't want to be with you? You recalled from the note.
"Eddie?" you called out in the same tone as his previous one.
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to ask you this one last time, and I want you to tell me the truth." You took in a deep breath. "Are you the person who has been writing to me?"
He suddenly turned pale. His eyes nervously flickered away from yours. "Ummm..." He couldn't seem to form any words. "Maybe-well-I-um..."
You shifted a little closer to him.
His eyes moved back to focus on you and how close you've gotten. "Hi," he whispered, taking in every single inch of your face. Every flaw and imperfection.
So goddamn beautiful.
He exhaled shakily. It fanned your face causing your eyes to flutter shut. Both of you gravitating toward each other unknowingly. Your noses barely brushed each others when another voice broke the silence.
"Am I interrupting something?"
You abruptly moved away from Eddie and met the eyes of none other than Chrissy Cunningham. You gaze averted to Eddie who looked rather frantic and disheveled.
"Confidential," he said.
Oh.
"Oh," you said aloud. "No-I-um-I was just leaving." You rapidly gathered your stuff.
Eddie watched helplessly, instinctively reaching out to grab you, to stop you, but you dodged it. He got up to try again, this time he was able to catch your hand, gently grasping it. He leaned toward you. "It's just a drug deal, I swear," he said, lowly. "You have to believe me." His eyes pleaded.
You dared a glimpse at Chrissy. She looked uncomfortable as she scanned her surroundings as if anyone could be watching. At that moment it didn't seem like a lie, but at the same time your mind brought you back to the rumor, and the fact that you didn't know if that was a lie or not.
You formed your lips into a tight-line. "I'll see you around, Eddie," you bit back before pulling away and storming off.
Eddie debated on running after you, but instead he took in a sharp breath before shooting a fake smile at Chrissy. "So... let's get started, shall we?"
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Your foot tapped against the tiled floors. Peering straight in front of you, not really paying attention to the lesson. How could you when you felt Eddie's eyes on you the entire time next to you? From your peripheral vision you saw Eddie writing something down on a sheet of paper. He slid his foot over to nudge yours, trying to get your attention to take the paper out of his hands.
The devil won the argument in this case as you carefully grabbed it and set it down on your desk.
Can we talk, please?
After reading it, you grabbed your pen and wrote back.
What is there to talk about?
You handed him back the sheet of paper without looking at him. You heard him sigh loudly along with a scribble of something. He pushed the paper back into your hands.
I need you to know the full story. Five minutes? That's all I'm asking for.
You thought through it. You clicked your pen twice then wrote a response.
Fine.
He let out a breath of relief.
Thank you. Meet me by my van at 4pm.
Your eyebrow quirked up.
Are you planning on kidnapping me?
If that's what it takes to get you to listen to me Does 4pm work for you?
I read that. And yes, that works for me.
Eddie's hope grew a little at your words. He prayed - to whichever god was out there, ones in which he didn't believe in - that he didn't ruin what hasn't even had the chance to begun.
'Cause God, he's in love with you.
You stood by his van with your arms crossed. The front of your shoe kicking a nearby pebble. Eddie rushed over to you.
"You're late," you said.
He looked down at his watch. 4:10, he read. "I'm sorry."
"For what? Being late or....?"
"Everything," he paused. "You know when you told me that thing about me liking Chrissy I knew I messed up."
You shifted your weight to one side. "How so?"
"Because, I thought it was so obvious how I felt for you. I thought people saw it from miles away, but I guess showing my feelings is just another thing I fail at doing in my life."
You frowned.
He continued, "I hope you know now that I've always liked you." He bit his lip. "Man, I think I liked you before I even knew I liked you." He chuckled. "I was scared though, even if you said you felt the same I was scared you'd back away once you realized what a freak I am. I'm not someone who can give you everything you've wanted... but I would try."
You smiled a little. "Eddie, I don't like you because I thought you could give me the world, I like you because-as corny as this sounds-you are my world. I never believed in the how soulmates thing, but ever since I met you, it was always you. And I have to admit I wanted you to be my admirer so bad, but my life-it never seems to go easy on me, so the first thing I thought was that it was a joke, and then when it seemed to be becoming more real and Robin of all people was telling me how she thought it was you... I didn't want to give into the hope. Then you told me it wasn't you, and I didn't have any proof to convince me otherwise."
"I'm your world?" he asked, breathless.
"That's all you got from that?" you joked.
He shook his head. "No, but it definitely was the part that lingered the longest."
"Eddie, I-"
"I meant every word I wrote, and it wasn't even half the things I've wanted to say to you for so long. Because there's so much I want to tell you, and we have so much to make up for, but that's only if you want me."
You opened your mouth then closed it. Finally you spoke, "Where do we start?"
He broke out into a large smile. "You mean it?"
"Yeah," you reply, mimicking his smile.
The two of you stared at each other for a few moments.
"You can kiss me now, if you want," you said.
"Oh, thank fuck," he breathed.
He leaned in, cupping your jaw to bring you lips to meet his. You breathed him in immediately, the smell of cigarettes, cologne, and a hint of mint clogging your nose. Delightfully suffocating you in his warmth. You wrapped your arms around his neck to bring him closer as the two of your fell in a fast rhythm, making up for at least some of the lost time, then slow and steady to savor the moment as this was something neither one of them every wanted to forget. Ever.
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A note fluttered out of your locker.
"Another one?" Robin groaned.
You picked it up with a lovesick smile plastered onto your face. "Don't sound so annoyed Robin, you should be pleased."
"Just because I'm always right, doesn't mean I like to be always right."
"You're right. You love to be always right," you quip back, unfolding the piece of paper.
Morning sweetheart, just wanted to say I love you and I can't wait for our date tonight. - Love, Eddie.
"Why can't he just tell you that when he see's you at school today?" Robin asked.
You dreamily sigh. "He wanted to keep the memory of how we got together alive, so we decided to continue writing each other notes. It doesn't matter what we say in them." You eyes met Eddie's figure a few feet away from you. "It's the thought that matters." With that last word to Robin, you run toward Eddie who immediately picks you up and spins you around.
"How are you doing today?" he asked.
"Good!" you chirped. "I got your note."
"Oh, did you? Have any thoughts about it? Responses?"
"A few..." You smiled, and pecked his cheek, making him blush profusely. "I love you too."
2K notes · View notes
sprinkler-ashes · 8 months
Text
the great war // aaron hotchner x reader
aaron hotchner x fem!reader
words: 5.5k
description: in which aaron hotchner thinks you’re hot-headed. inspired by the great war by taylor swift.
warnings: angst w/ a happy ending, one (1) steamy car makeout, cursing, typical cm violence depictions
a/n: long time no see, and i’m sorry about that. to make a long story short, summer was very awful on me; i had a breakup and am now back in school + drowning in work. I love this fic so much; it’s probably my favorite i’ve ever written and i hope you love it too <3 also!!! if you have a request for a fic to a song, please send it my way! taylor swift is my go-to, but i am open to any song request <3
you drew up some good faith treaties
i drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone
you said i have to trust more freely
but diesel is desire, you were playin' with fire
You should have known better than to date someone you worked with. No, actually, you should have known better than to date, of all people, your boss.
Date was a loose term.
You weren’t really sure when the lines between co-workers blurred into friendship and when friendship blossomed into early morning coffee dates and late evenings in the office together doing paperwork, and even later nights spent at dinner tables being hours deep into conversation. You knew it hadn’t happened out of nowhere. This thing between the two of you had been building up for years – years of pining.
There was a voice in the back of your head telling you that it was all too good to be true, but you pushed it back as far as you could. Besides, the two of you hadn’t even called it dating, but it sure did feel like it.
But it hadn’t felt like that in a really long time.
Aaron had put a stop to whatever was going on four months ago. He had given you some bullshit excuse that he was your boss, it was wrong of him to be doing whatever the two of you were doing with his subordinate — blah, blah – but you had stopped listening when your heart became so heavy you thought it was going to physically weigh you down.
You had been through breakups before, even some serious ones, but nothing had ever felt like this. 
You tried to stop him, but he was also a man who had made his mind up; it was impossible to get through to him that you didn’t want to end it.
So you went back to work acting like nothing had happened. And it was about to be the death of you.
However, you were a professional. It’s not like the team even knew about you and Aaron. You acted the same as always when you were at work. No one suspected anything because no one knew what you were going through.
You didn’t talk to Aaron unless you had to. Truthfully, you hadn’t spoken to him for anything that wasn’t work-related since he basically dumped you on a random Wednesday evening for reasons you couldn’t fathom, but that didn’t mean you didn’t try.
In the beginning, you tried reaching out. You called, you texted him a couple of times, and you had even been so desperate one night that you sent him an email. Each time, you were met with rejection, and him saying something along the lines that both of you should just forget about everything.
So you did by cutting all contact. You thought to yourself, I’ll show him, but it really did nothing. If it bothered him, he never showed it.
It seemed like nothing bothered him until now. A whole whopping four months later.
“Not only did you blow our cover, but you walked into a hostage situation with no weapon to defend yourself; you didn’t even strap a vest on. You are lucky that no one died or was seriously injured.” Aaron wasn’t yelling – he was actually just slightly an octave below yelling – but it sure as hell sounded like he was screaming because his voice had never been like this towards you.
You frowned, not liking the way he was calling you out in front of everyone – in front of a group of people that you greatly admired and respected. “What else was I supposed to do, Hotch? If I hadn’t gone in there, that woman would have died. I was trying to save her life.”
“Save her life?” he asked incredulously. “From the moment you burst through those doors, you put her in even more danger than she was already in. Not only could she have died, but you also could have.”
“Why are you giving me so much shit over this?” you asked, throwing your hands up in anger, not paying attention to the awkward glances your team was giving each other. “I’m not the only one who's done this, and I won’t be the last. I don’t care to risk my life trying to save someone else. I’m sorry that I blew everyone’s cover, but I won’t apologize for saving her.”
Aaron shook his head, his demeanor that was normally unreadable was completely gone. “You’re on probation, effectively immediately-”
“What? I, Hotch-”
“You will not physically assist in any cases for the next two weeks. You will still travel to cases, but you will work directly from the police department. You will not be allowed to go in the field.”
He kept talking, his mouth moving a mile a minute listing off all the things you were allowed to do and what you couldn’t do, but you couldn’t focus on anything he was saying. You were so tempted to slap your boss across the face and if it wouldn’t have technically been workplace harassment, you probably would have.
“Hotch, we’ve all made mistakes,” Derek Morgan said. “No one ended up hurt tonight. With all due respect, I think a two week probation is a little harsh.”
You wanted to thank Derek for sticking up for you, but you couldn’t form words at that moment. Your feet were on the move faster than you could even think as they took you to the SUV that you’d arrived in, not wanting to hear Aaron talk to Derek about you. All you wanted to do was get on the jet, leave the small Arkansas town you were in, get back to Quantico, and try to stop thinking about Aaron Hotchner.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t as easy as you liked to think.
You rode back to the hotel with Emily and JJ, who had let you sit in the front seat, and didn’t dare look either of them in the eye. Emily tried to make small talk to lighten the mood, but you could barely even think about anything other than your probation and the way that Aaron had talked to you in front of everyone. She eventually took the hint, and the three of you rode back to the hotel in silence.
You finally turned to Emily once the SUV came to a stop. “Do you know if we’re leaving tonight or in the morning?” Normally, if you finished a case late, you always preferred to spend the night in the hotel in order to get some rest, but there was nothing you wanted more than to just go home now.
“Uh, tonight,” Emily said with a grimace. “Sorry, I know you usually hate leaving immediately after.”
You shook your head. “Not this time. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to go home more than I do right now.”
Emily eyed you up and down, taking in your slumped, exhausted body. Her eyes flickered up to the mirror, catching JJ’s eye who was giving an equally worried look. “Do you want to talk-”
“Not right now, Emily,” you interrupted. “I’m going to pack my stuff up. Can you send me a text when it’s time to go?”
Emily looked like she wanted to say more, but she didn’t, sensing you obviously didn’t want to talk about it right now. “Yeah, I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks,” you mumbled. “See you guys soon.” With that, you were out of the SUV before either of them could unbuckle their seatbelts and on your way to the entrance of the hotel you were staying in along with the rest of the team.
Typically, you shared a room with someone, but luckily for you, it was your turn to get your own this time, which you couldn’t have been more thankful for when you swiped your keycard and finally got to be alone for a minute.
You knew that Emily meant well. She had been one of your closest friends since you had joined the team. You felt a tinge of guilt at how closed off you had been to her in the car when she was just trying to make sure you were okay. However, you really weren’t okay, and you really didn’t want Emily to know the full extent of what was going on.
After hastily packing your things and grabbing a quick shower, you received a text from Emily that it was time to go. On your way down to the lobby to meet her, it was finally setting in that you were, quite literally, exhausted. You’d been awake since before daylight and a quick glance at the time shining on your phone reminded you that you had been awake for nearly seventeen hours.
You rode with Emily, JJ, and Rossi to board the jet, but ended up napping the entire short duration of the drive. Truthfully, you hadn’t even realized you’d fallen asleep until Rossi had nudged you awake.
When you were finally in the air, you allowed yourself to catch a glance at your infuriating boss who was still, as usual, in his suit with his tie and jacket discarded, writing in a file.
Probably writing me up, you bitterly thought to yourself. You knew you had done a not-very-smart thing, but by the time you figured out that the original plan the team came up with wasn’t going to work, it was too late. If you hadn’t darted through the door and startled the unsub, the poor woman who was taken hostage was going to meet a very similar fate that four other women faced.
You could admit that it was a rash, last minute decision, but you didn’t regret it. You saved a woman’s life and helped capture an awful man who would have never stopped if not caught. It felt like Aaron was punishing you for something that wasn’t the decision you made tonight. Two weeks on probation felt a little extreme to you.
Twenty minutes into the flight, Derek, Rossi, and JJ were already asleep while Emily looked like she was close to following. Spencer was nursing what you thought was his second coffee in the short time on the jet, a pair of headphones in as he watched something on the tablet he had propped up.
That left only you and Aaron sitting in silence.
This had been a particularly hard case that had to be solved in under seventy-two hours in order to prevent any more victims since you, with the help of Spencer, figured out that the unsub operated on stalking and kidnapping his victims on a specific schedule. Hardly anyone had gotten much sleep in an attempt to solve the case as soon as possible – hence why nearly everyone was asleep.
Aaron finally spoke after nearly fifty minutes into the flight from his seat in front of you after Emily and Spencer had finally drifted off, though you weren’t sure how Spencer was even sleeping considering he had downed two coffees. “You should get some rest.”
“Don’t worry about me,” you said bitterly, keeping your eyes straight ahead. “I’ll be getting lots of rest in the next two weeks considering I can’t really do anything else on probation, so thanks, but I’m good.” The words were tumbling out before you could even comprehend what you’d said. In a normal situation, you’d be worried that speaking to your boss like that would result in its own consequences but considering you were already on probation, what was the harm?
He said nothing.
It was nine days into what felt like the most excruciatingly long probation known to man, and you still had five more days to go.
You had just gotten back from a case in Maine where you, unfortunately, barely got to do anything other than help out at the police station. In addition, you had to finish several online modules assigned to you by Strauss on safety in the field, which was, in your opinion, ridiculous considering you had been at the BAU for a good amount of time – long enough to know all about safety in the field.
“I think I’ve gone past the point of exhaustion,” Emily said as you came off the elevator as she stifled a yawn. “Is that a real thing?”
“Yes, my beautiful friend who I am so happy to see. That means you need to get home and rest.”
Penelope Garcia was there to greet you at the elevator, a warm smile lighting up her face as she gave Emily a hug then turned to you. “How are you doing?”
“I’ll be fine in five days when this stupid probation is over,” you told Penelope, watching her give you a sympathetic smile.
“I’m heading out, but you have my number if you need me,” she told you with a comforting pat to your arm. “Goodnight ladies.”
Penelope was on the elevator to leave as you and Emily, after waving off Penelope, filed off to your desks to pack up to go back to your apartments.
“Got a hot date tonight?” Emily asked jokingly.
You laughed and shook your head. “Haven’t had a hot date in a long time. What about you?”
It was true. The last date you had been on was four months ago with the man who also happened to be your boss and who also happened to be your number one enemy right now.
“Just with Sergio.”
You and Emily were already on your way out to leave for the night officially until you stopped in your tracks when you reached the elevator. “Ugh, I just realized I left my phone charger at my desk. You can go on without me.”
“You sure? I don’t mind waiting,” she said as she stepped into the elevator.
You nodded. “Go on; it’s late. Have a good night, Emily.”
A huff left your mouth as you turned back on your heel to walk back to your desk. Your hands grasped the charger laying under several files that you (probably) needed to look at, but tonight was not the night for that.
However, you realized it was definitely not your night at all when you tried to turn your car on, only to be met with a sound of spluttering.
“Not tonight,” you groaned, repeatedly trying to turn your key to start the engine, but the car never started, much to your luck. “Are you serious right now?”
Your car was by no means brand new, but it was a good car and not often did it give you problems. Except for tonight. Or in other words, the one night you desperately wanted to go home, take a shower, and go to bed.
You weren’t really sure of your options. You could probably call Emily. She couldn’t have gotten too far down the road. Maybe she could give you a ride since her apartment was on the way to your place. Another option was calling an Uber, but –
Your car door opening knocked you out of your train of thought. Your brain immediately went into fight-or-flight, and you chose fight as your hands instinctively reached for the pepper spray on your key ring.
“Hey! It’s just me.”
It was Aaron with his hands outstretched into a surrender position, his suit jacket hanging from the crease where his arm bent. “Why are you sitting in the parking lot in the dark with your car unlocked? Do you know how easy it would be for someone to-”
“Come up and kidnap me? Yeah, I learned all about it in my online safety training this past week as if I didn’t already know,” you sassed with an eye roll. “I think my battery is dead. I usually keep jumper cables in here, but I cleaned my car out last week and must have taken them out. I’m probably going to have to call an Uber.”
You didn’t know why you were telling him all of this. The small voice in the back of your head knew why, but you weren’t willingly to actively think about it. You had enough on your plate right now.
“I’ll give you a ride home.”
“Like hell you will,” you told him.
“You do know I’m your boss, and you technically can’t speak to me like that?”
“You won’t fire me. You'll just put me on probation.”
He paused, his eyes closing momentarily before opening them again and going back to his stoic demeanor as usual. “Let me drive you home, so I will know that you got home safely. Please.”
You wanted to say no, but it was late and getting a ride home from Aaron meant that you didn’t have to bother Emily or lose money on an Uber. The only thing you’d be losing, in your opinion, was what little dignity you had left when it came to Aaron.
It’s just a ride home, you told yourself in your head.
“Fine.” You had admitted defeat. “Give me a second.”
He turned his back to you and started to walk away from your car. When you knew for sure he couldn’t see you, you positioned the rearview mirror so you could see yourself in it. Before you could stop yourself, you attempted to fix your hair as nicely as possible and then took a moment to stop what you were doing. You scoffed at yourself and shook your head.
“What is wrong with me?” You asked yourself aloud. “He doesn’t care. Neither do you.”
However, after you grabbed your things, you did sneak one more look in the mirror before getting out of your car and locking it. You were glad when you took another look to see Aaron not looking in your direction. 
 You made your way over to Aaron’s signature parking spot, the same one he parked in every morning, and met him there, his hands typing something out on his phone until he noticed your presence.
Without missing a beat, he opened the passenger door for you. You wanted to tell your heart to stop when that familiar flutter came back like it used to all those months ago. You opened your mouth, but he stopped you before you could say anything.
“No need for a remark. I’m just opening the door for you.”
“I was going to say thanks.”
A ghost of a smile danced across his face as he shut the door. It was so quick if you weren’t paying attention then you wouldn’t have seen it.
Your eyes adjusted to the interior of Aaron’s car, déjà vu hitting you from the first time you were ever in his car. But you forced those thoughts back down with a grimace and a reminder of how that ended the first time.
With one hand gripping the wheel and the other holding onto the back of your seat as his torso turned, eyes watching behind as he backed out, you thought you were going to throw up. Not because you were sick, but because Aaron was so damn attractive in doing the simplest things like backing up a car.
“You can turn on the radio if you want,” Aaron told you. “Your cord is still in here.”
You bit your lip, eyes locking onto the green cord still plugged in. “I’ve been looking for that everywhere. I had to buy a new one for my car.”
Back when you were frequently with Aaron, and he was typically the designated driver when you went places, you often complained about the lack of music in his car. He only listened to whatever was on the radio. He had no CDs nor did he have an AUX cord, claiming something about never being in his personal car long enough to deal with music in it.
After that day, you put your AUX cord in his car the next time you were in it and controlled the music, often giving him a performance to your favorite songs in the car as he drove. Aaron never complained like a lot of guys would. Instead, he would watch you belt a heartbreak ballad with an amused smile.
But that was months ago. And things were much different now.
“I would’ve given it back to you, but it’s slipped my mind. Feel free to take it with you.”
The happy memories that the AUX cord brought back were pushed to the back of your head again at his words. He told you to take it because there was no point in it anymore. You two were done.
You didn’t plug the cord into your phone. You didn’t play a song. You sat in the terrible silence, wishing it wasn’t silent like before, but it was silent, and Aaron was acting like nothing was wrong. 
Another awkward moment passed as he kept driving, the route to where you lived engraved as he had driven there many times. Aaron didn’t have to ask you where you lived because he knew. He knew from all the late nights he dropped you back off. The thought of all the previous times you’d been on this exact same drive under different circumstances made your head hurt.
“Why did you put me on probation?” The words slipped out before you could stop them.
“You know why I put you on probation. You comprised the safety of yourself, the team, and-”
“I compromised the safety of myself, the team, and the victim, yes, I know, but you put me on a two week probation when I can name off countless times that others on the team have done worse and didn’t get put on a two-week probation,” you argued back. “I know I messed up, but at the end of the day, it feels like you’re punishing me for something.”
He nodded, his eyes staying trained on the road. “I am punishing you for something, and that something is compromising-”
“I swear if you say compromise one more time-”
“Compromising your safety and the safety of others.”
You didn't say anything. Your arms were crossed as you looked out the window and into the dark as objects moved past you, reaching closer to your destination.
Aaron spoke your name, but you didn’t want to look at him.
“What?”
“Look at me,” he said as the car came to a stop at a redlight.
You reluctantly looked over, not prepared to see him already looking at you. You swallowed, trying to keep your gaze on him.
“I’d rather you be angry with me than even thinking about the possibility of you getting hurt.”
You couldn’t speak even if you wanted to because he kept going.
“When I saw you run into that warehouse, it was one of the only times in my life that I have been so scared that I couldn’t think straight. I put you on probation because you did something reckless. All of us outside thought we lost you when we heard the gunshots. I know you and a few others thought probation was too harsh, but it’s important for you to know that if you’re going to storm a hostage situation, you have to communicate with us. The team cannot lose you,” Aaron told you, his eyes never leaving yours. “I can’t lose you. Understood?”
You were pretty sure that at this point your voice was gone. You simply nodded.
The light turned green, and Aaron started driving again, his eyes finally breaking contact. “Finish out your probation next week and then put it behind you.”
There were no more words spoken. It was silent. You didn’t know how to respond to anything he had just said to you.
Except you did have one question. You weren’t even sure if you wanted the answer to it.
“If you can’t lose me,” you started, fiddling with the sleeve of your top, “then why did you end things?”
“It was for the best,” Aaron said, breaking your heart all over again. “I’m your boss-”
“You being my boss didn’t seem to be a problem when your mouth was on mine every time you dropped me off from dinner.”
He didn’t seem to have an answer for that. You sat smugly in your seat waiting for him to say something.
“You want the truth?”
“I’ve only been asking you for the truth for four months now,” you shot back.
“I fell in love with you.”
Aaron said it so casually that you had to do a double take, your mouth slightly opening. Out of all the things he could’ve said, you did not in a million years think that would be it. Your heart was pounding, and there was a moment where you thought that you had imagined him saying that he fell in love with you, but he really did say it.
He continued. “I thought it was best to end what was going on between us because things would’ve only escalated, and I didn’t want people to think negatively about you. You’re a strong woman in a male-dominated field. You’ve worked hard to get to where you are. You should be taken seriously and unfortunately, going out with your boss doesn’t look good on paper. I hurt you, and I’m truly sorry for that.”
You hadn’t even realized it when Aaron had finally pulled up to the huge parking lot of your apartment building, which was surprisingly vacant for a Thursday night. The words he’d said were dancing around in your head. You hadn’t done anything wrong. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
Even after everything, all you really wanted was him.
“Aaron,” you said as you turned to him when he put the car in park, “I mean this with all due respect, but that’s not just your decision to make. I should get a say. I wish you had told me because for the last four months I’ve been going crazy with overthinking. That’s why it hurt so much when you put me on probation. I thought you were punishing me for something between us. Please don’t shut me out because I’m in love with you, and quite frankly, I don’t give a shit about what people say about me.”
“But people will talk about you-”
“So?”
“And there’s also Strauss-”
“Who we can deal with. I’m not afraid of Erin Strauss,” you cut him off again.
He raised his eyes before you spoke again. “Okay, maybe I’m slightly afraid of her, but that doesn’t change anything. You don’t choose who you fall in love with. If people want to talk about me for being in love, then let them. I just want to be with you, so please stop trying to protect me. I can handle anything.”
“Okay,” Aaron said after a minute. “Okay. If you want to do this, there is a lot to discuss work-wise.”
“That’s fine. I have a lot of time to discuss things. I’m on probation.” 
Every other time you had brought up your probation, it had been with anger, but this time, there was only a grin on your face. Even though you were still mad about that damn probation, which was another conversation for another time, you figured you might as well make a joke out of it.
Aaron couldn’t keep a straight face. “Yes, you are for five more days. You still have one more module on safety in the field to complete.”
“Screw you,” you said half-jokingly.
“You wish,” he shot right back.
“You’re damn right I do.”
It was as if there was a shift in the air. You’d spent four months without him and in that moment you had decided you never really wanted to go another second without him. There was still a lot to talk about between the two of you, but for now, all you really wanted to do was kiss him.
Even when the two of you were “seeing” each other, or whatever it was, there wasn’t much physical affection. Aaron always kissed you before dropping you off at night, but it was always short, sweet, and simple. Tonight, you didn’t want short, sweet, and simple as your goodbye kiss.
“You should be getting in. It’s late,” he told you, but neither of you made an effort to move. In fact, it felt like you had only gotten closer. You could feel Aaron’s breath fan your face.
You leaned even closer, your face only inches from his. “You gonna tell me goodnight?”
Aaron never replied, only moving to close the small gap between the two of you, his lips pressing against yours in a way that almost felt desperate.
You were the one to take it a step further as your mouth opened wider and one of your hands slid up to rest on his shoulder. Aaron gladly took the hint. His tongue was in your mouth and before you could process it, one hand had moved to cup your face while the other rested on your thigh.
He pulled back for a moment, but only to mess with something under his seat. You gave him a confused look, still breathing heavily. “What are you doing?”
Aaron’s seat had scooted back further to open more room between him and the steering wheel, and you realized what he was doing now. He simply shrugged. “The console is in the way.”
With that, you laughed and maneuvered yourself across the center console that Aaron seemed to hate at the moment. His hands instinctively grabbed your waist in an attempt to help you move over and onto him – literally.
You took in your current situation for a moment. You were straddling Aaron Hotchner in his car in a parking lot. If you had told yourself earlier in the morning that this is where you would be, you would not have believed it.
His lips were back on yours before you could think about anything else, hands still gripping your waist while yours moved to his hair. You were pressed against him, your chest to his, and left no room between the two of you.
“This okay?” He mumbled as his warm hands snaked underneath your shirt, now resting on your bare hips. He pressed a kiss to your jaw while you nodded, a deep breath leaving your mouth. He smiled against your jaw before reattaching his lips again, but this time to your neck.
You couldn’t think of the last time you felt like this. Your body felt like it was literally on fire, and Aaron’s mouth wasn’t doing anything to extinguish that fire – only making it worse.
As much as you loved the hot, open-mouthed kisses to your neck, you cupped his face, guiding him back up to your lips. Your hands slid to tangle in his hair, earning you a throaty sound from him, which only encouraged you further as you smiled against his lips before going back to kissing him.
Aaron pulled back only a few seconds later, both of you breathing heavily in a hot and flustered state. “As much as I’m enjoying this, we probably shouldn’t get too carried away in here.”
“What? Car sex isn’t on your bucket list?” You joked.
He laughed as you leaned into the hand cupping your face. “You deserve better than a car the first time.”
“So what I’m hearing is car sex after the first time?”
Aaron gave you one of his rare grins, and it lit up your entire world. “You are impossible.”
“I’m just kidding,” you said, giving him a peck on the cheek. “I really should be getting in the bed. My boss is making me come in at eight-thirty tomorrow for a meeting.”
“Oh really? He sounds very smart.”
You playfully rolled your eyes and with the help of Aaron, you moved back over to the passenger seat. “I will see you bright and early in the morning.”
“Looking forward to it.”
You gave him one last kiss before gathering your bag and opening the car door. “Goodnight, Aaron.”
“Goodnight,” he told you.
You shut the door and with a smile on your face, waved to him one last time before making your way towards the entrance of your apartment building.
However, before you could get very far, you heard Aaron’s voice calling your name. You turned around to see him with his window down.
“Did I forget something?” You called to him and watched confusedly as he shook his head.
“Your hair looked fine earlier. You didn’t have to fix it just for me.”
833 notes · View notes
readychilledwine · 7 months
Note
Hello. First of all thank you for that post, it amazing and no one has ever responded. I would like you to write another story of az where they have a child and she and her child get kidnapped. And she dies trying to the child. Az goes bolistic. (If u don't want the reader to die it's cool with me. Whatever u think is best). Thank u and have an amazing day ahead.
Eeeeee. This made little pregnant brain go meeeeep. I kind of changed it up. I didn't want to actively kill the reader, because I can't imagine Azriel ever pulling himself back together after that. I just imagine if Azriel found someone he loved enough to have a child with, it would devastate him. So. I put a spin on it. if I squeeze my eyes shut really tight, I can create a world where he finds a mate and heals with her, but that wound would always be there, and that creates angst. So this is loosely based on the aftermath of your request. I'm sorry it isn't perfect.
Replacement
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Warnings - trauma, mention of torture, Az being kind of an ass.
🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇
The words echoed in your mind. You aren't his mother! Azriel had screamed them at you so carelessly. Just because Xiden had come to you for a booboo. Just because Xiden had called you "mommy" and Azriel had heard it. How dare you seriously think you can replace her? What the fuck is wrong with you?
You loved your mate's son. You loved that little illyrian more than you could form into words. Shock had fallen into your own bones after he called you mommy and kissed your cheek, though. That wasn't a threshold you had meant to cross. It was an unspoken line in the sand. You were not his mother, and Azriel had managed to remind you quickly and make you feel so small over one word uttered by a child.
Your relationship with the two started a few years ago. You were Nyx and Xiden's private nanny. Rhysand had met you once in a volunteer childcare center. The two of you had talked about everything you had found important in raising little ones, and the High Lord brought you to his mate instantly. They had been looking for childcare whose values aligned with theirs for weeks, and Feyre, with tears of relief in her eyes, hired you on the spot and made a pay offer you would have been stupid to turn down.
You spent time with the two young boys constantly. You three would spend countless hours giggling. Your life ranged from cooking with them, playing with them, snuggling them, and doing basic school lessons with them, but mostly teaching them how to be good fae, teaching them right from wrong, showing them how to love and respect themselves and others.
Nyx was wonderful. You adored the little heir. But there was something about the way Xiden would hold your hand when you three would go for walks, the way he constantly searched for your approval. You can't remember if it was the first night he ran to your guest room on an extended care stay and buried himself so deep into your arms and pillows that made you love him, or if it was the solstice gift he drew of you, him, and Nyx that hung framed in your living room that sealed the deal, but you loved Xiden. Unconditionally and unexpectedly.
You had finally asked Feyre one night about his mother when she came over to bring you a birthday gift from the Inner Circle and the boys. Azriel had appeared after she told you gently Xiden's mother had died. He had the little male in tow. He had his wings tucked in so tight around him and his little footie pajamas and that made your heart tighten as he ran to you. 
The bond snapped for Azriel as you were kneeled down, holding his son and comforting him. It snapped for you when you woke up to the male shirtless in your kitchen, making breakfast for the three of you after Xiden refused to leave.
There was no going back after that. Xiden had a room at your apartment now. You had things in their home. You and Azriel told each other everything. Well, almost everything. He still had not told you about his former love or where she was.  Xiden had done it late one night after another screaming fit woke him up and had him crawling into bed with you.
I watched momma die, you had tried to tell him it was just a bad dream. But when his eyes met yours and he shook his little head, you shattered into pieces. I watched it, miss y/n. I watched them hurt momma.
You had approached Azriel about it gently, holding his hand as he closed you out. You didn't push the issue at all, knowing he'd tell you when he was ready to. You had, however, pushed for him to enroll Xiden into therapy with Madja.
That was almost 8 months ago now, though. Tonight had been the breaking point. It stung, knowing the male you adored had all but dismissed his son's feelings, and your own, without giving you a single explanation of why. You had left his home in silence despite him calling for you. You had shielded yourself for the time and sealed the bond so deeply into your heart that you couldn't feel him, and he couldn't feel you. 
You curled deeper into the bed, holding your blanket tight against yourself as you cried. You had no interest in replacing Xiden's mom. You never set that as a goal in this relationship. You just wanted to love Azriel, love his son. You wanted to support them, be there for them. 
A loud knock came at your door, and you ignored it. Then another, more insistent than the next, and finally, your door just opened. You knew it was him, that he had picked the lock. He made his way to your bedroom, opening the door without knocking and moving to sit on the bed next to you. 
"I'm sorry, y/n," his hand found your hip as he tried to get your attention. "I lashed out, and I shouldn't have. It's just- It's hard. Knowing she should be here, but isn't."
"I never wanted to replace her, Az. I never asked to fill that role." You voice sounded as broken as you knew it would. Hours of crying finally had begun to show damage.
"I know, love. I know."
"You won't even tell me what happened to them. All I can do is offer him whatever I can based on what I know, and then i get yelled at for it. How can I comfort him, help him, and support him when I don't know the full story. How can I support YOU when I don't even know what happened?"
His jaw tightened as he looked at you. He had been avoiding this conversation for too long, and now it had come to a head. "When Xiden was 4, he and his mother were visiting her parents in Illyria without my knowledge." Azriel looked up, blinking tears away as his throat grew tight. "I had made a few enemies in the camp they went to, and they took them. It took us 3 weeks to find them and track them down. By time we got there, she was gone. Xiden was.." His jaw tightened again. "He was traumatized. He had watched them rape, beat, and torture his mother for weeks. He was starved, sleep deprived, and disassociated from us completely. I only added to that trauma by slaughtering every single male in that place without thinking about the fact that he was right there."
"He wouldn't let me touch him for weeks. He ran to Rhys and Cassian instead of me. And it killed me." Azriel was biting his lip, shadows stilled and wrapped around him as his wings also pulled in. "I will never forget her lifeless eyes, her body, her bruised face. I will never forget my son's broken mind and soul. I will never forgive myself for what happened to them."
You sat up, running a hand up and down his back and between his wings. "It wasn't your fault, Az. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself."
He broke then, sobbing out a gentle I know as he broke down. "I just don't want him to forget her, how much she loved him, how much she sacrificed for him."
"He won't," you said firmly. "He never will. He's six, Az. He remembers his momma. He knows I am not her." Azriel nodded. "Az, you need to forgive yourself. You can't move forward, and Xiden can't move forward, with this cloud hanging here." Another silent nod as he leaned further into your touch. "You need to give yourself permission to be happy, to move on, and to take care of him without being scared of the world."
"It's just so hard," you nodded this time, kissing between his shoulder blades. "I loved her so fucking much."
"I know. Her picture is still up in your office. I make sure to dust it every day. You also have some of her dresses still. A few of her blankets." His shoulders fell, guilt flooding the now empty bond. "Don't," you whispered. "Don't feel guilty for loving the mother of your child. Don't feel guilty for wanting to honor her memory." 
"Please come back." Azriel sounded broken at the confession he was about to make. "He can't sleep when you aren't there." You nodded, grabbing a bag to pack an outfit for tomorrow. 
Azriel watched you moving through the room in silence. "I wanted to talk about you moving in," you froze on the spot. "Or us finding somewhere for the 3 of us."
"Az-"
"I fucked that up, though, didn't I?" You shook your head, rushing to him and throwing yourself onto him and the bed. "Or maybe I didn't?"
"Of course I want to move in with you two." Your response was muffled into his neck. You could feel his smile grow. 
"Perfect." He said.
"Perfect." You agreed. 
494 notes · View notes
zepskies · 8 months
Text
Strong as Blood - Part 1
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Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader
Summary: After you accidentally break through a solid wood table, you know there’s something wrong with you. You begin to have your suspicions, but can you keep it from Ben long enough to find out? 
(In other words: This is the story of how you and Ben discover that you’re pregnant.)
AN: This two-part fic can be read as stand-alone, but it’s really a bonus sequel to Break Me Down!
Word Count: 4,500
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Angst, fluff, and a smutty ending. 
To find the chronological reading order for the series, check out the series masterlist. ⤵️
💚 Break Me Down
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Part 1: “Probably Temporary”
Make no mistake. Ben was still a terrible cook.
He’d sort of gotten the hang of the grill though, even if he technically wasn’t supposed to be smoking meat on the apartment’s second-floor balcony. 
You peeked out at your boyfriend through the sliding glass door to make sure he was still doing okay. He caught you though, and shot you a wink.
He was very proud of his grill. 
We’re so gonna get in trouble with the homeowner’s association, you thought, but you couldn’t help a smile. You obliged him when he beckoned you over, and you slid the door open. 
“Almost done? I think our neighbors are going to complain again,” you said with a laugh. Ben rolled his eyes.
“It’s a bit of smoke, not a fucking forest fire,” he groused. “Let those uppity fucks complain. Bet’cha they won’t have the balls to say shit to my face if I go across the street for a little visit.” 
You soothed him with a hand along his shoulder. It also gave you an excuse to check on his progress. You considered this episode to be a success, considering the balcony wasn’t up in flames this time. And the steaks actually looked good. Not brittle pieces of charcoal, but not raw and bleeding either.  
“I think those are done,” you advised. Ben followed your gaze and nodded. He used his bare hands to turn the foil-wrapped potatoes, just because he could. 
“Why don’t you take ‘em in while I finish up these potatoes,” he said. “How’s the rest coming?”
“Good. I’m about to take the casserole out of the oven,” you said with a nod. Meanwhile, he placed the steaks in a glass dish that been sitting near the open grill. He handed it to you, but you almost dropped the steaks when the hot glass burned your hands. 
You hissed in pain, while Ben caught the dish with both hands. His brows furrowed, first in surprise, then in thinly veiled concern when he looked over at you. He reached out for your shoulder. 
“Damn,” he said. “Didn’t seem that hot…you okay?”
You looked up from your stinging hands and sighed at him in exasperation, but you couldn’t get that mad at him. He sometimes couldn’t gauge things like this when it came to what he could handle, versus what your normal human body could. 
“Yeah. I’ll just break out the aloe. First, let me get some oven mitts,” you replied, but your answering smile retained some good humor. Ben quirked an apologetic smile of his own. He decided to follow you into the kitchen, taking the steaks in himself. 
You grabbed your favorite green oven mitts and carefully took out the veggie casserole. It smelled delicious, but Ben still peered at it over your shoulder when you placed it on the counter. 
“Don’t you look at my casserole sideways,” you quipped. “You need to eat more veggies.”
He leveled you with a dry look. “You saying I’m getting out of shape?”
“God forbid,” you gasped, playfully jabbing at his firm abs with a mitt-covered hand. “I’m just saying, your super metabolism is compensating for a lot of booze and Taco Bell.”
Ben rose a brow at your cheekiness. He drew closer behind you, trapping you against the counter with one hand braced on the edge, and the other sliding up your jean-clad hip. 
“You’ve got some nerve. I don’t talk shit about the stash of Twix bars in your nightstand, do I?” he remarked. He nipped at your ear, making you flinch and giggle. His beard was also tickling your neck. 
“You’re peeping in my nightstand now? How dare you,” you teased. He snorted in response. 
“Please. Your purple vibrator isn’t exactly a fucking mystery to me,” he retorted. You felt his smirk growing against your neck. “Might wanna keep it away from the chocolate though. That could get messy…unless you want it to be.” 
Your body shook with the effort of containing your laughter. He was so fucking gross.
“Don’t you need to check on the potatoes?” you asked. “I don’t want to have to pressure wash the balcony again.”
Ben made a sound of agreement, but was sure to swat you on the ass before he went. You jolted, but you just shook your head with a blush and a smile. 
It had been over a year since you and Ben had moved in together. Already you’d had your first fight as a true couple, your first Christmas, and so many other challenges, large and small, that had all come to solidify one thing for you.
You were happy. Maybe for the first time in your life. 
It just came with some…small caveats, you reflected, as you reached into the fridge to find the jar of aloe vera. Before you slathered some onto your hands, you realized they were no longer red, and they didn’t even sting anymore.
“What the hell?” you muttered. You put back the jar and rested a hand on your hip. 
Well, maybe you hadn’t burned yourself as bad as you thought. 
With that oddity still in your mind, you pulled on your oven mitts again and took up the casserole with the intention of bringing it to the dining table. Admittedly, you were a bit distracted. You didn’t remember about the raised ledge in the doorway to the dining room until it was too late.
You tripped, and though you managed to make it to the table, you gasped when you broke right through the wood. 
The table just seemed to give up when you hit it, cracking in half, and sending you tumbling to the floor with hot casserole heaped on top. You were still stunned when Ben tore back inside. His green eyes were wide, his brows furrowed as he took in the state of you on the floor with the broken table.
“What the hell happened?” he asked, though he bent down to help you up. He checked you for injuries, but both of you found nothing. 
“I’m okay,” you said, a bit shakily. “I tripped, that’s all.”
Ben’s brows raised as he looked from you to the shards of the table. He knocked on the wood surface. 
“Cheap piece of shit. Where’d you get this thing?” he asked. 
You flickered at a smile and admitted, “IKEA.”
Ben shook his head. “We really need to broaden your palate.”
You insisted you were all right. But he insisted, without words, on checking you over again. His hands brushed down your shoulders and arms, your hands and neck.
He held your face in his hands, and he let out a deep sigh. You just smiled up at him, though inside, you were hiding a bit of worry yourself. 
That table hadn’t been cheap. It was solid pine wood. 
But Ben seemed to believe you. He also seemed a bit exasperated. 
“I should just layer you up in goddamn bubble wrap. The way you find ways to break yourself is beyond me,” he muttered. Your lips pursed. 
“I resent that—”
“I’m sure you fucking do.”
“Besides,” you said, a smirk pulling at the corner of your mouth. “What a pain in the ass would it be to unwrap me?” 
Ben huffed, even as his hands traveled down to wrap around your waist and pull you in close. 
“True,” he smirked. “You’re already a pain in the ass as it is.” 
You opened your mouth to mount an indignant protest, but he shut you up the only surefire way he knew how. His kiss was swift, deep, and left you humming into his mouth in surprise. 
But you soon pulled back, brushing a thumb along his chin. “We’ve got to clean up this mess. And…did you get the potatoes?”
Ben thought for a moment, but then his mouth firmed into a line. 
“Shit,” he muttered, and released you to run back to the grill. 
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That night, you stood barefooted in your nightgown and took a moment alone in the bathroom to breathe. And to think. And to test the strength in your hands, by bending one of Ben’s metal wrenches like it was a useless paper straw. 
Okay, now you were panicking a bit. 
What the fuck? you thought. You had only ever experienced super strength when you were on V24 (which you had not taken, let alone the permanent stuff). 
But…if you thought about it, there had been one other time when you had felt this strong. And it had been when you were in the hospital, almost two years ago, after Vought Tower collapsed. You’d needed a surgery you might not have lived through. It was Ben’s actions that had saved you…after he donated his blood.
Unless he was somehow giving you transfusions without you knowing, there was only one other possibility you could think of for Ben’s DNA to somehow be in your system…
Holy shit, you thought. And you sat down on the closed toilet. Hard. Enough to dislodge a decorative dish that was perched on a shelf behind you. You gasped, but weren’t able to catch it before it hit the ground loudly. You winced and picked it up, even as you heard Ben’s steps approaching the bathroom. 
“You okay?” he asked predictably, through the closed door.
“Fine!” you said, your voice too high. You cleared your throat and tried to normalize your voice. “I’m fine, just dropped something.”
“Christ. You going for a record today?” he remarked. 
You rolled your eyes. 
A few minutes later, you finished in the bathroom and tried to act as normal as possible as you slid into bed next to your boyfriend. He was watching TV, but he glanced over at you. You knew he was silently assessing you, seeing if you were really okay. 
You gave him a smile and leaned over for a goodnight kiss. You attempted to be chaste, but he deepened it. He slid an arm around your waist and tilted his head, slipping his tongue between the seam of your lips. 
You welcomed him at first…but a tremor of warning flashed in your mind, along with the persistent thought that had followed you from the bathroom.
Should I tell him? 
You didn’t know why your inclination was to hold it in. There very well could be something wrong with you. But if your suspicions were true, then you wanted confirmation first. 
“What’s the matter?” Ben asked. He’d pulled back, sensing your distraction. You came back to yourself.
“Nothing, just tired,” you said, stroking his chest over his shirt. 
Ben looked into your eyes, his face more or less stoic. You saw the way he was trying to get a read on you though, like he didn’t quite believe you. You couldn’t blame him, but you could be very convincing when you needed to be.
He eventually nodded, letting you turn away from him to slip under the covers. Even though you felt the sting of your lie tingling unpleasantly down your spine. 
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You met Dr. Tonya Baker at her office in the Supe Affairs building. She’d been Vought’s top scientist, up until last year. After Stan Edgar’s death and the company’s collapse, the CIA recruited Dr. Baker. 
You didn’t like her. Nor did you trust her, exactly, but she had assisted Dr. Vogelbaum when Becca Butcher came to him with a unique problem. Now, Dr. Baker was the only one left with the knowledge and resources to advise you.
And she was able to confirm your suspicions. She came back with lab results while you sat up on an examining table. 
“You’re eleven weeks pregnant,” she informed you. 
Even though you’d been somewhat expecting it, suspicion and knowing were very different things. You took in a shaking breath, and through your shock, you were smiling. Happy, and even relieved.
Until Dr. Baker spoke again. 
“The super strength is probably temporary. A side effect of the fetus’s genetics. But, it’s also advantageous for you,” she said, adjusting her glasses. “This makes it much more likely that you’ll survive the birth.”
Your breath ceased at that thought, not to mention her clinical delivery. 
“Always with that delightful bedside manner, Doctor,” you quipped. All of a sudden, you were feeling lightheaded. 
Or maybe you were just freaking the fuck out. 
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When you got home that evening after work, Ben watched you. 
He knew something was off with you the second you walked through the door, pale and pensive. Still, you flashed him a greeting and a smile that didn’t reach your eyes on your way to the bedroom. 
So he followed you. And the fact that you didn’t even notice, even flinched when he dropped a hand on your shoulder, told him that you were more than just distracted. The last straw was when you walked into the dresser while glancing back at him. You hissed and shook out your sandle-clad foot. 
Now, you were injury prone at the best of times, but this was a bit much, Ben thought. 
“Geez, I didn’t even hear you,” you said, trying at a chuckle. “Normally you thud around in those combat boots like an elephant. We’re lucky no one lives below us—”
“What’s the matter with you?” Ben asked. He was never one to beat around the bush. 
Your eyes widened a fraction; unease crept down your spine, but you gave him a quirk of your brow. 
“Excuse me?” 
“You fucking heard me,” he said. His gaze was hunter green, serious, and focused down on you.
“I’m fine, Ben—”
“No,” he snapped. “There’s something off with you.” 
You bit your lower lip. It seemed your boyfriend knew you better than you thought. You’d had a plan though. You had wanted to wait until you had a moment to shake off your anxiety and focus on the good when you sat him down this evening.
But you should’ve known better. Ben was remarkably impatient, even when he didn’t know what he was in for. 
And he got tired of waiting for your answer. 
He changed tactics, reaching for your arms. His grip was firm, but gentle in brushing his thumbs back and forth across your skin. His mouth was in a line, and you caught the concern hiding under his furrowed brows. 
“What’s so bad you can’t tell me?” he asked. 
You looked up into his eyes. Despite yourself, you had to smile. I’m not playing fair, you realized. 
“Okay, come ‘ere,” you said. You took his hand and led him to sit with you on the bed. Pulling his hand between both of yours into your lap, you sighed and thought about how you were going to say this. 
After a moment, you got a burst of inspiration. You held up a waiting finger to him and went into the closet to pull out one of your 25-pound hand weights. It might as well have weighed a pound, for how light it felt. You brought it back to the bed, and Ben stared back at you quizzically. 
“So…I didn’t get that table from IKEA,” you confessed. “It was solid wood, and I really did break straight through it.”
He rose a brow. “All right…”
You then showed him your newfound strength, by breaking the hand weight in half with your bare hands. His eyes widened, making you giggle a bit. You deposited both metal heads into his hands. He considered them, then you. His brows were knitting together even tighter. 
“What the hell—”
“Remember when you donated blood for me, when I was laid up in the hospital a couple years ago?” you asked. “I got your super strength for a day or two afterwards.”
Ben nodded. You had been a bit more than laid up, but semantics, he guessed. He was getting more confused by the moment. 
“Well this time, I’m told it’s also temporary…for the next seven months or so,” you said with a playful smile. 
Ben considered your words. He turned them back and forth in his head… 
Finally, his gaze flicked from yours to the broken weights in his hands. And he tossed them to the floor with a heavy thud on the hard wood. 
You giggled in earnest when he reached for your face with both hands. His eyes searched yours for any hint of a joke, his jaw tight and working. 
“Are you fucking with me right now?” he asked. His voice was a hint unsteady. You smiled bright and covered his hands with your own as the beginnings of tears stung in your eyes. 
“Not this time,” you said. “Ben, I’m pregnant.” 
It took him a moment to register your words. You saw the moment it all finally set in, with new realization etching into his features.
Never once had you seen this man tear up. He turned his face away, but you still caught the edges of his emotion. 
You reached for his bearded cheek, turning him back to you. His eyes were red and starting to shine, even though he was fighting it. A muscle in his jaw clenched, and then eased.
After a beat, his hands moved down from your face to brush down your arms, down your sides and around your frame. He pulled you into his lap, for which you went willingly into his arms. And your tears fell in earnest when he pressed a kiss to your forehead.
You knew what this meant to him, but you still couldn’t help but prod at him.
“Are you happy?” you teased, rubbing his back. Ben huffed and brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes. 
“What do you think?” he countered.  
Your hand moved down to slip under his shirt, gliding over the taut muscles in his back as they responded to your touch. You met him with a small smirk. 
“Show me,” you challenged. 
His lips quirked; that was all the encouragement he needed. Ben’s hands moved to tangle in your hair and squeeze the curve of your waist, bringing you flush against him when he kissed you. You inhaled deeply. Your nails dragged up his back, applying some pressure that made his shoulders twitch. 
You didn’t know what your newfound strength felt like to him, but for Ben, you felt solid in a way you hadn’t before. He could let go of some of his self-control and knead your hips with a force beyond bruising.
He could veer away from your lips and raze down your neck, and give your shoulder a love bite that would’ve drawn blood. Now it didn’t even break your skin. It did, however, earn him a pleased gasp. 
Maybe he’d just have to keep knocking you up, he thought. So you’d always be this strong.  
You started rucking up his shirt first, and had to push him back to even get it off him. After that, all bets were off.
It was a mad scramble to shed each other’s clothes, with Ben not being able to get away with his usual manhandling. Your smile grew, as you now had the strength to literally push back and make him work a bit harder for it.  
He smirked up at you when you managed to take him by surprise and push him back onto the bed. You’d successfully bared him for your gaze, but you still had your bra and panties on as you climbed over him and straddled his lap. 
Ben held himself up with a hand on the bed as the other slid around your waist and hooked you in. You took his face in your hands and gave him the full force of your passion.
Your lips claimed his in a devouring kiss, teeth clicking and tongues dueling for dominance. And you ground down your clothed core against his rising length, earning his groan of appreciation into your mouth.
With a flick of his wrist, your bra strap snapped off in the back. You huffed, knowing he’d probably broken the clasp.
Ah well, I’m about to need new ones soon enough.
The thought made you smile against his lips. You let him pull the bra down your arms and wherever he decided to fling it off to. You thought he might start traveling down between your breasts, as was a favorite path of his to map out.
But then, in one smooth motion Ben had you flipped over onto your back. He grinned at your yelp of surprise, but he didn’t give you a chance to recover. He latched onto your neck again, this time on the other side as he scraped his beard and teeth across your skin.
Meanwhile, you moaned encouragements in his ear while his heavy hand squeezed one of your breasts, rolled a thumb over a pert nipple. 
You trailed your hands down his chest, soothing over golden tan skin and freckles and sculpted muscle until you reached his hard length. You earned a straining grunt from your man as you teased the sensitive flesh, a thumb circling over its weeping head. 
Ben grabbed your wrist and gave you a warning look. “Can’t let me fucking concentrate, huh?”
You just grinned and took his hand instead. You dragged it down your body until you guided his fingers into your underwear, between your wet folds. 
“Ben, I need you,” you said. But your need was already in your eyes. Your skin was on fire wherever he touched, and deep inside, where you burned for him most. 
Ben felt it in your iron grip on his hand, now almost as strong as his own. Your legs curled up his thighs to wrap around his hips, teasing him with the soft promise between your inner thighs. So how could he do anything else but give you what you wanted? 
He teased between your folds with his fingers first. Gathering some of your wetness, he circled over your clit firmly. You whimpered as your back arched in response. 
“Gonna sing for me, baby doll?” he teased. Your breathing became more labored as his fingers continued to play with you, but you managed to offer a small smirk. 
“You gonna make me?” you asked. “Think you need to bring out the big guns for that one.”
Ben chuckled. As usual, you were being a little shit. 
So he brought you to the edge of your release, just with his fingers. You were starting to squeeze them tight with your inner walls, your moans getting more urgent. But he withdrew his digits at the last moment, leaving you panting and confused.
“What…”
He smirked down at you and wrapped his slick fingers around his cock, stroking himself a few times. You watched him with expectant, hungry eyes.  
“You want the big guns, I’ll fucking give ‘em to you,” he said. It made you huff, but you had to smile as he returned to you. He hooked his fingers on the hem of your panties and slowly, torturous, he pulled them down your legs.
Those same hands then traveled back up, gliding across your skin with purpose. Your breath shallowed in anticipation.
He eventually gripped your hips, pushing your thighs up a bit farther, and you lined his cock to your entrance. Your heels dug into his ass and added a bit of force when he pushed inside you. And your moans tangled together along with your bodies.
You fairly pulsed inside, and he felt it in your inner walls wrapped so fucking tight around him. His forehead briefly fell to your shoulder. Even though you were panting for breath, you still soothed him, carding your fingers through his hair. 
Normally he’d be going off at a relentless clip by now. But Ben started slow, rolling his hips back and forth into yours at a steady rhythm that managed to take your breath away and make your toes curl.
His name fell from your lips, reverent and pleased. You felt every part of him as he plunged inside you, and it was incredibly fucking hot.  
He took a moment to meet your eyes. He gave you a grin that softened the hard edges that so often lined his face in times like this. And you realized then what was happening.
Ben didn’t do slow. Not for long anyway. But it seemed like he’d taken your challenge to heart. In fact, you had a feeling he was showing you what he couldn’t quite put into words. 
When he reached a hand to part your folds and circle two insistent finger pads around your clit, you couldn’t help but grip his arms tight enough to bruise him. Your mouth opened on a keening moan.
Combined with his deep strokes starting to brush all the right spots inside you, it had you squeezing on him from the inside as you came hard, and made it known in his ear.
“Fuck—” Ben’s brows furrowed as your release finally triggered his own. And his voice joined yours, muffling in the pillow under your head. You shuddered as he spilled deep inside you. 
Your arms came around his back and held him to you for a moment afterwards, just stroking his back, his shoulders, his neck, whatever you could reach while you both caught your breath.
Eventually, Ben’s lips found your neck. You felt the shape of his smile grow there. 
“Too bad you’re already knocked up, or that could’ve been a great way to bring in our second kid,” he remarked.
This time, it took a second for his words to click together in your mind. As soon as they did, you uttered a laugh that shook both of your frames. You swatted his ass in reproach. He smirked down at you.
“I can't with you,” you said. Though you were still giggling. “You’re just gonna have to wait for the first one to come out of the oven.” 
Ben’s smirk evened out into a grin, his face almost boyish in his glee.
“Well, what can I say, baby? You’re a damn good cook.”  
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AN: 😂 Well then. What did you think of how she broke the news? And Ben's reaction to finding out he's finally going to be a dad? 🥹
But of course, it's not going to be all sunshine and roses in Part 2. The reader and Ben reveal the good news to her family, and as we all know, he's hoping for a son...
Next Time:
“Hey,” she said. “You know how much I care about you, right?”
“And where’s this going?” you quipped. But you turned around and gave your little sister a half-smile. You knew what she was about to say.
“So what are you going to do about that?” she asked, gesturing to your man in the kitchen. “Mr. Macho wants his prized stud. What happens if he doesn’t get him?”
You sighed. “Ben’s wanted this for a long time. He’s got an idea in his head of what it’s going to be like, and…we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”
Keep reading: PART 2
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mikaleialt · 6 months
Text
Secret Love Song
Bada Lee x Bebe!reader
Angst
"Why can't I hold you in the streets? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?"
Synopsis: being in a secret relationship is not easy, especially if you are hiding it to the whole world. — or — the heavy weight of the strained relationship you have with Bada has just become too overwhelming.
cw: major angst, mentions of breaking up, kinda toxic relationship,language, long ass story— i didn't count
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When BeBe got invited by Mnet to compete for the second season Street Woman Fighter, all of us were ecstatic, especially our team leader and my girlfriend, Bada Lee.
I know just how much Bada wants to showcase each of her members talents to the whole world, and how important this is for her, especially for her career as a choreographer and dancer.
Before the day of the first filming, Bada and I had come to an agreement to keep our relationship in secret in order to keep a professional image in front of our opponents and to the viewers. I didn't mind it, its not like this the first time we are keeping our relationship a secret after all.
As a matter of fact, our relationship has always been kept private, as we are both professional dancers and choreographers, only a few close people knew about our relationship.
We kept our personal life separated from our work life which let us have a nice private and peaceful life as a couple, just in each others arms with no one trying to pry on our relationship or any personal matters.
Everything is perfect. Everything was perfect.
After the first episode had aired, Bada's popularity blossoms and soon had her own fan base. I was so proud that to see her grow in her career.
But as the team and Bada's popularity grew each day, the pressure to meet the people's expections also rises, and it had affect Bada the most.
After the Kpop Deathmatch Mission, Bada has pushed herself to be better, which means she also pushes the team to be better. She becomes more strict to us, but still kept her bubbly personality when it is appropriate to goof around.
But it all went down when we got the feedback of the other groups for the Mega Crew Mission. When we learned that all of our opponents predicted that our team will be the next to go home, Bada broked down into pieces. The negative feedback had causes her to lose her confident on herself and as her girlfriend, I tried to comfort her.
"Babe, don't mind what they said, they were probably doing this to messed us up, after all we won the last challenge right? We got this, okay? I believe in us." I tried to comfort the crying Bada on my lap that night and although it had seemed to work as Bada was now more determined to prove those people wrong about what they think about her and her team.
But, It just doesn't feel right at all, yes Bada have improved a lot and was now more motivated to do better, but the more she focuses on winning the challenges and mission, the more distant she becomes to me.
After that night, Bada never stopped talking about the routines she can think of for the upcoming missions and how it will be a new step for Bebe.
It was all that she talked about, to the point she even forgets that tonight is your anniversary night.
"...I'm thinking maybe Lusher or Tatter would be the center for the first part and then we will use the..." Bada kept mumbling about the dance choreo and other stuff related to the competition and as a great girlfriend, I tried to be understanding.
I really did try my best.
But it only gets worse from there, with Bada's fame grew more, people can't help but get attracted to her, which is understandable.
It was a typical fan behaviour, and I know that Bada has this charisma in her that just makes her more attractive. But, I drew the line when people starts shipping my girlfriend to other participants like Audrey or Kirsten, heck even Redy who used to have beef with Bada.
It was pathetic, I know. But the fact that Bada was becoming closer to Redy once again after the first battle made me feel insecure.
Maybe it was the additional stress from the already strained relationship I had with Bada that makes me more anxious and jealous when in reality it is just an fantasy fans and shippers had built to satisfy their delusions. But it is starting to get to me slowly and slowly.
And this night is the final straw...
Bada kept staying up late, busying herself with making choreos, too busy to even realize that I'm not even sleeping in the same bed, let alone the same room anymore as I had moved to the spare bedroom in our apartment a week ago.
And the fan edits of Bada with other girls and guys, occupy every single social media I have. Almost like it was taunting me.
I broke down that night. All the stress from the competition and my relationship with Bada is finally having an affect on me. That night I was restless, my eyes are puffy
The next day was Bebe's practice for the New Song Challenge, where we will be choreographing Hwasa's song 'Chile'.
There were cameras set up on the dance studio we were practicing on, documenting the progress of our team. Which also means that Bada and I won't be able to interact once again.
"Ok let's run that part one more time" Bada said as everyone went to their places and the song starts.
During the part of the hook where we are doing the '7' sign with our hands, I was at the wrong position making me bumped into Bada as we danced.
And my blood runs cold when I looked at the taller girl behind me who is glaring at me intensely. I mutter a quick sorry, to which she just ignored and replayed the part again.
I feel like breaking down once again. Everyone in the team Bebe noticed the red, puffy eyes that I tried to hide from the camera by wearing a hat, the dark cloud that looms over me at my sulken face. Everyone noticed that, except Bada.
"Y/n, go back to the first position!" I flinched when Bada raised her voice, she is obviously pissed off at me now.
I am trying so hard not to cry infront of the camera and my crew as I bit my lip hard enough for me to taste a bit of blood.
The practice continues as the tension between me and Bada thickens. Looks like the show found the highlighted drama they want for the next episode.
Once the practice was over and the cameras sre all turned off, I quickly made my way out of the room I was in, not even waiting for Bada as I made my way home, eventhough Bada drove the both of us here.
I stopped by a convenience store to buy an ice cream and some sour candies to shock my system and stop me from breaking down. Before making my way back to our apartment.
And just as I thought, Bada is already there, she has a car whilst I walked home for the most part, so it makes sense.
As soon as I stepped inside, Bada is sitting on the couch, her elbows are pressed on her knees, as her fingers are intertwined.
I can sense she is very angry, but I'm way too mentally and emotionally unstable for any confrontations as I walk passed her figure, attempting to go to my bedroom, which is the stupidest decision I ever think of since it just made Bada even more mad.
"Oh so now you're gonna ignore me? Gonna act like you didn't just walked out after practice and then going home late?" Bada glares at me as I stop on my tracks.
I stare back at her, but all I can see from her is how pissed she is. I can't even recognize her.
Just a few months ago, we were fine, we were happy. But now here we are, acting like we're not even in a relationship.
"Y/n!" I flinch again as Bada raises her voice once again, "What, are you just gonna stare at me like a deer in a headlights? Answer me goddamit? What is your problem? You are so off today, your performance is already way worse than before? Are you trying to sabotage the team—"
Bada's voice faded out in my mind, all I can think of is how we used to be. This is totally different from the secret relationship we had when we are at work.
Bada has become way to obsessed with the competition that I don't she recognize my role in her life anymore. I think she already forgot that I'm her girlfriend, all because of how often we restrain ourselves from showing affection in public.
A lone tear runs down my face as Bada keeps on rambling and nagging me about my performance today.
"Stop fucking crying and answer me. What is your problem—"
"MY FUCKING PROBLEM IS THAT YOU DON'T EVEN TREAT ME LIKE YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE!"
Bada was shocked from my tone and by my answer. She stayed silent, feeling nervous as this is the first I got angry this bad.
"Eversince we kept our kept our relationship a secret from the whole world, you continued the act even when it's just the two of us." Fat tears are now rolling down my cheeks as my legs started to feel weak.
"I'm so sick and tired of hiding everything. I just want to be held by you in public. I mean you did it with Redy, heck you even kissed Kirsten on the cheek after you were both auditioned for the main dancer title on the first mission, why can't you do it to me?" My legs finally give out as I sat on the floor while Bada stood next to me.
"How can you flirt and be affectionate to everyone but your own girlfriend? Am I still even your girlfriend?" I looked up to her as Bada now have a hint of regret on her face.
Bada can't talk back, she was in deep thought as her mind fills with regrets.
"You forgot our anniversary last week, you talk about me leaving you behind earlier while you left me behind on everything you do. You are so obsessed with the competition that you pushed me and our relationship out from your thoughts. Honestly by now I'm justing waiting for you to break up with me." Bada's felt a pang on her chest as she kneels down next to me and hugged me, I let her but I didn't hug her back.
"I just want to stop hiding anymore..." my tone is much more softer now as I hear Bada's sobs. "You even forgot that today’s my birthday..." I tear up again as Bada starts muttering her apologies.
We both cry in silence, as we finally realize how much damage hiding did to our relationship.
"I'm sorry... It hurts me too when I can't hold you in front of many people. I'm sorry I didn't know how much I hurt you until now... I-It was stupid of me." Bada looks in to my eyes as she says those words.
"I'm sorry I forgot about you...I-" Bada chokes on her tears as she just squeeze my hands.
"I wanna get back from all I did the past few months since the competition... please give me a chance... I-I will be better." Bada looks at me desperately.
"Bada, what I want is for to us to stop hiding anymore..." I cup her cheeks. Bada contemplates at the mention of going public and it was very evident at the sudden change in her expression.
My heart breaks even more when I saw that Bada is having second-thoughts about my request.
"...so that's your answer, huh?" I sighed as I tried to stand up once again and walk to my bedroom. “Why is it so hard for you to tell the world that I’m yours?” I said before closing the door. Bada stumbles on her feet as she tries to follow me but I locked the door before she can even enter.
I broke down once again, seeing as there's no hope that Bada will ever agree to making our relationship public...
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A/n: this is honestly really weird, I might revised it later but there might be a part two for this... I'm just too tired to finish it right now. Also, here you go, @badasgirlfriend ... anyway hope you enjoyed this—even if it's a bit trashy and incomplete
Requests are open
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heeverseblog · 1 year
Text
this time
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synopsis: you confessed to jake sim in your senior year of high school but got rejected. now you’re a single mom in need of a math tutor to help your daughter pass math class. you happen to stumble upon jake’s profile and end up hiring him.
pairing: math tutor!jake x single mom!reader
genre: childhood acquaintances to lovers, single parent au, fluff, little bit of angst but happy ending
warnings: unrequited love (only at the beginning), mentions of early pregnancy, abandonment, fear of being in a relationship, one suggestive scene, short argument about career
word count: 11,359 words
note: THIS WHOLE STORY IS RUSHED AND NOT HEAVILY PROOFREAD, SORRY :((((
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the first day you saw jake sim was at your school’s library. you were reading “anne of green gables” while he was reading a physics textbook. a freakin’ physics textbook. who reads a physics textbook at eight years old? apparently, jake sim does.
he looked so invested in reading formulas and his glasses were thick black-framed ones. you thought it was cute when he was sticking his tongue out as he was reading probably some formulas and terms. you forgot about gilbert blythe because that day, jake sim became number one in your “the cutest boys i’ve ever seen” list.
word was sent out that you had a huge, massive crush on jake sim. who wouldn’t know when you shout his name every time he passes by your way? you’d give him love notes saying how cute he looked with his glasses and how he has the cutest smile. every cringey, embarrassing thing a girl can do and call her crush just for him to notice her. yes, you’ve done it all.
when you became a teenager, you think that what you feel towards jake is more than just a crush. the longer you got to know him, the more you got to see how kind he was. when everyone was having a hard time understanding math, he’d write on the blackboard formulas and explaining when and where to use them. when a kid fell on his bike, he cleaned the wound and carried him to the school clinic, even when he was tired and sweaty from soccer practice.
one time, you were bored at math class. so you doodled the soccer field from your window. then your math teacher slams his hands on your table and proceeds to humiliate you on your artistic dreams. your colored pencils were confiscated and as shallow as it may be, you felt like a part of you was taken away after being humiliated.
while it was lunch time, jake came out of your classroom going with his friends, sunghoon and jay. you were still sad about what happened a while ago. when you sat down, you were surprised when you colored pencils were placed under your desk. you remember jake coming out of the classroom. you smile, realizing that you liked jake sim.
every girl fell on line in talking to jake sim. but you always made sure you were first. rumors spread that jake had a crush on the transfer student, kazuha. the rumors were confirmed when he asked her to the school dance. they danced that night but nothing bloomed. you noticed jake looked a little sulky the following week. and you thought that simply making him laugh like making funny faces or giving him cookies will make him feel better. and he did. jake was never mean to you. he still treats you kindly like everyone else. and you were fine with that. but you wanted to step your game.
a few weeks left and you will be graduating high school. so you wanted to confess to jake properly. you drew a banner with your confession, “jake sim, will you accept me?” you remember setting up the art room with lights. your art teacher was kind enough to allow you, knowing that you were her favorite student.
“jake sim, i’ve liked you since the day you were reading that textbook in the library. i’ve always liked you and it took me years to properly confess how I truly feel . so… you held out the flowers to him, “will you accept me?”
you felt like crying saying your confession. but you didn’t care. you gave him the peonies from your mother’s flower shop. when you thought will reach for the flowers, he held hands and slowly pulled them down. your face went down along with your hands.
“y/n, i appreciate what you have done…but,” jake looked down at the floor, “i don’t like you like that.”
you’d be lying to yourself when you say you’re not hurt. you tried your best not to blink or else the tears will come out of your eyes.
“oh. um…thank you for being honest.” you gave him a forced smile, feeling your eyes well up. on cue, the school bell rings, signaling it’s time for all students to get out of the building.
“i’ll see you tomorrow?”
jake nods, “see you tomorrow.”
you gave him a pat in the back before turning of the lights then ran out of the art room. you let the tears run down your face as the petals from the peonies fell, leaving a trail on the floor.
after a week, you received your high school diploma and off you to college you go. you and your friends took pictures together and you thought that it would be nice to walk around your school for one last time. from the classrooms, to the playgrounds, to the soccer fields. then you took one last glance at the art room, recalling the day you experienced your first heartbreak.
when you went back to your parents, they gave you a tight hug before giving you a bouquet. then you catch a glimpse of jake with his family. like yours, his parents were proud of him for finishing top of his class. your heart might have swelled a little but before you could feel it more, your dad said he’d take you and your mom out to dinner.
jake sim might not like you back but you were sure that he will be a good memory you can look back to.
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“i’m sorry, mom.” your seven-year-old daughter tells you as both of you walked out of her classroom. apparently, she wasn’t the best at math class and her homeroom teacher was beginning to worry. but who were you to be disappointed when you were never the best at math either.
you kneel down, holding your daughter’s shoulders, “aera, we’re going to hire someone to help you, alright?”
aera pouts while nodding her head. you held her cheek, “sweetie, it’ll be alright. hm?” your daughter slowly nods her head then both of you went home.
you’re in an app searching for math tutors that look friendly but will help your daughter excel in class. it’s been an hour and you still haven’t found the right one.
“mommy, what’s for dinner?” aera says as she colors in her coloring book.
“we’re having spaghetti tonight, sweetie.” aera just nods her head and goes back to coloring. when you returned your attention to your phone, a familiar name popped up.
sim jaeyun: part-time physics teacher, part-time math tutor
sim jaeyun or known as jake sim when you were just a girl living in a small town. he was the boy you’ve had a huge crush on ever since you were eight years old. because of your silly crush on him, you confessed to him a week before your high school graduation. but he didn’t like you that way.
admit it or not, jake is a strong candidate. aside from attending the same school as kids, jake was best in math and physics and had a good reputation for being a math wizard.
unconsciously, you tapped the hello! are you available for a meet-up? option.
“shit!” you stand up from the couch.
“mom, that’s a bad word,” aera says while coloring her coloring book at the dinning table.
“you’re right, sweetie. mommy is sorry.” you say and kneeled to reach your daughter’s height. you smile, thinking that your daughter takes after you in her interest in drawing and coloring. she’d always ask you for coloring books, sometimes crayons if her old ones kept breaking. then one time you gave her the 64 crayons that you’ve always wanted as a kid.
“mommy, look!” aera colored the tiger pink.
“that’s wonderful, baby!” aera goes back into coloring while you prepare your dinner.
while you were cooking your spaghetti, your phone beeps and you received a message.
hello there! may i know who i’ll be tutoring?
you reply, it’s my seven-year-old daughter. she needs help in math.
jake: oh i see. may i know who i am speaking with?
you take a deep breath and typed your full name.
jake: y/n? did we go to the same school together?
y/n: yup! same school since 2nd grade to high school.
jake: oh wow! how are you doing?
y/n: i’m doing well right now.
jake: that’s good to hear!
jake: about your daughter, where exactly does she need help in math?
y/n: if it’s not too much to ask, she needs help in everything.
jake: oh no problem! are you available to meet-up?
y/n: sure! will send you the details soon.
jake: great! looking forward to meeting you.
y/n: looking forward to meeting you too.
“oh no!”
you immediately put your phone down and got the pot away from the stove with smoke coming out of it.
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you told jake to meet you at this café that is somewhat near where you lived and where jake is residing. it’s been long since you last saw jake and your last encounter with him was at the art room with a banner and lights where you confessed. then he rejected you.
you were holding tight on your cup of coffee. after you told jake where you were seated, you were expecting to meet him anytime soon. and that thought made you more nervous.
“y/n?”
your organs did somersaults when you hear his familiar voice. and when you turn around, you were also greeted with a familiar face.
“j-jake. hi.”
jake still wore glasses. difference is that they were no longer thick black-framed ones but specs. aside from that, he did not change much. he still looked as gentle like before.
“sorry to keep you waiting. one of my students needed help.”
“no worries. please, take a seat.”
jake sits at the seat across you. he places his bag on the floor then he returns his gaze at you.
“sorry i didn’t order anything for you yet. i didn’t know what you liked.”
“it’s okay. so, your daughter needs help?”
“yeah, aera, she…she has trouble understanding problem-solving equations. has a hard time memorizing the multiplication table too, apparently.”
some part of you felt awkward that your daughter got her weakness in math from you. and jake knew that.
“do you have any worksheets from her class?”
“oh, yes,” you bring out the sheets if paper from your bag and gave it to jake. he reviews the papers and you felt déjà vu, remembering the day you first saw him in the library while reading a physics textbook.
“i see the problem here. she mixes the formulas and interchanges them.”
“is she…does she need extreme hands on help?”
“i can’t say yet but if i tutor her soon, i'll let you know the progress.”
“thank you…” you pause, not knowing to call him mr. sim, teacher sim, or just by his name.
“sorry,” you let out an awkward laugh, “i just don’t know how to address you?”
“jake is fine. i mean we went to the same school.”
“okay. thank you, jake.”
“thank you, too. y/n.” then jake gets his bag.
“you’re leaving?”
“yeah, i have to do some tasks first. but let me know when i can tutor her.”
“sure thing. see you soon?”
jake nods, “see you soon.” then he leaves the café.
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you and jake agreed that he will tutor aera from 2 pm to 5 pm every thursday and friday. at first, aera is shy to meet a new person but you assured her that her new tutor is a friend of yours. and she promised that she will behave.
the doorbell rang and as you expected, jake was outside.
“hi.”
“hi. i hope i’m not too early.”
“oh, no. you came just in time. come on in.”
when you let jake in your unit, you told him to wait by the living room while you call aera by her bedroom.
“sweetie, your tutor is here. come and say hi.”
when aera came out of her room, her shyness aent away.
“aera, this is jake. he’s going to tutor you at math. say hi, sweetie.”
“hello!” aera waves to jake to which he found adorable and softly giggles.
“it’s nice to meet you, aera.”
“mommy says you’re her friend. i call aunt yujin and aunt gaeul aunties because they’re mommy’s friends. can i call you uncle jake?”
“aera…”
“uncle jake sounds nice.” jake said with a smile on his face.
“do you want us to start, aera?” jake asks and aera nods before pulling jake to the dining table.
before jake and aera started their tutor session, you asked permission from jake if you can stay by your room with the door open. and he was kind enough to understand that you were careful with aera.
surprisingly, jake and aera got along well. aera had a hard time understanding the formulas and comprehending problems but jake was very patient with her. you always knew that jake would be a great teacher but you never knew that day will actually come true.
“okay, so when you add 4 and 7, you’ll be transferring the other one here, to 6. so it becomes 7. then you add 7 and 2. and what’s the answer?”
“91?”
“good job, aera!” then jake did a high five to aera before circling the worksheet with his red pen.
“uncle jake, can you be my math teacher instead? you’re nicer than mrs. im.”
“did you know that mrs. im was also my math teacher. your mom and i were her students.”
“it means that she’s old! no wonder why she’s so grumpy.”
“aera, what did we say about bad mouthing people?” you say from the kitchen as you start preparing your dinner.
“it’s not going to make us different from them.”
“that’s right.���
jake softly laughed at your statement, “okay, aera. that’s all for today. if you still need help next time, we can always go back. but try studying on your own too, okay?”
“okay, uncle jake!”
jake starts packing his things then you and aera see him out.
“uncle jake, thank you for teaching me today. you’re so nice and i had fun.”
“you’re welcome, aera.”
aera looks up at you, “mommy, say thank you, too.”
you rub aera’s shoulders, “yes, ma’am,” then faced jake, “thank you for helping aera today. really.”
“you’re welcome,” jake looks down at aera, “i’ll see you tomorrow, okay kiddo?”
“see you tomorrow, uncle jake!” aera waves and jake gives her a smile before he leaves.
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months have passed since jake tutored aera. the process wasn’t easy at first since aera is really having a hard time understanding math. but as jake promised, he updated you that aera is still in need of help to improve. and you were grateful that he was patient with her, despite being exhausted from being a teacher at school.
most days, aera was excited for her tutoring sessions. she even boasts how she has a good tutor and jake’s her favorite teacher slash uncle. and you have to admit, it was cute.
today, you were busy finishing an illustration for a children’s book. most of the time, you sell your works online or have clients contact you for commissions. it wasn’t a stable job but you had to earn for you and your daughter. and thank god, your clients paid you well.
in the middle of working, you received a message from yujin, saying that there will be a class reunion at the town hall two months from now. you didn’t know if you’ll be able to go but you might if your friends are going.
yujin: so how’s the tutoring going on?
y/n: it’s going pretty well, actually. jake is really patient with aera and he always make sure that she understands what he’s teaching her
gaeul: you know…it’s not too late to re-live high schaer
y/n: eh???
yujin: she means to shoot your shot
y/n: very funny guys -_-
y/n: jake is just tutoring aera and he’s just doing his job
gaeul: 👀
yujin: if you say so 🤪
y/n: gotta get ready. i’ll be picking up aera in a bit and jake will be arriving after.
yujin: ooooh y/n is getting ready for her date.
y/n: OH PLEASE 😡
you roll your eyes before locking your phone and turning off your tablet.
when you were done getting dressed, the doorbell rang and when you opened it, you were surprised to see jake.
“hi, jake. i was just about to pick-up aera from school.”
jake scrunches his forehead then looks at his watch, “oh,” he lets out a laugh, “my class ended early and i might have thought i was late. i can come back later.”
“oh no, please. do you want to come with me and pick-up aera? she’ll be glad to see you.”
“sure.”
“great. let’s go.”
during the car ride, you and jake didn’t say a word. it was either you were busy watching the road or avoiding talking to him.
“so how have you been?”
“hm?”
“i mostly see you during tutoring sessions but we never really…'talked.’”
“oh, uh…well today was fine. i’m currently doing an illustration for a children’s book. not halfway done but I’m making progress. you?” you liked to jake before immediately returning your attention to the road.
“one of my students said that physics was useless and why do we need to study how fast a frisbee can travel.”
you try holding your laugh but jake caught you so you retort, “sorry it’s just that a kinda remember myself. and well, i couldn’t help my daughter in her math homework.”
it was silent again and all you could hear was the tires and the car engine.
“for what’s worth, aera is a good kid.”
you smile at jake’s comment and looked at him for a while, “thanks.”
“we’re here.”
“it’s been a while since i saw this place.”
you spot aera waiting at the waiting area and when she sees your car, she stands up and waits for you. and when you and jake got out of the car, she immediately runs to jake, hugging his leg.
“uncle jake, you’re here!”
jake giggles, “it’s good to see you too, kiddo.” then he rubs aera’s head like usual.
“don’t i get a hug?”
“mommy!” aera opens her arms and then you carry her. she gives you a kiss.
“let’s go home?” you asks and aera nods.
the three of you went to the car. aera was still happy that jake was with you to pick her up.
“uncle jake, can you come and pick me up next time?”
“aera, uncle jake has classes to teach. you can still see each other during tutoring sessions.”
aera pouts at what you said. jake looks back, “how about i bring you ice cream next week?”
aera smiles, “yes, please!”
“you might spoil her with too much sweets.” you nag.
“can it be mint chocolate, please?”
jake’s eyes grew wide then he looks at you and back at aera, “you really are your mother’s daughter.”
“hey mint chocolate deserves to be respected,” you defend.
“not when it tastes like toothbrush.”
“that’s mean!” you and aera say in unison.
throughout the whole ride, three of you were still bickering about mint chocolate being the superior ice cream flavor. you never thought that someone could actually get along with you and your daughter’s antics. and you liked it.
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“i’m sorry for the overtime, jake. but don’t worry, i’ll increase today’s payment session.”
exams were coming and aera needed help in studying. you felt bad that you had to ask jake to stay for a while but you promised him that he’ll be compensated more than his usual pay.
“it’s alright. besides, aera needed help.”
“why don’t you stay for dinner? you might be hungry.”
“oh, no. i couldn’t.”
“no, really. it’s the least i can do for thanking you.”
“if you insist then,” jake places his bag down the chair, “dinner would be great.”
and dinner was going great. aera told jake herself that jake was her favorite teacher. and jake felt honored. aera kept telling stories of her school life and how she made friends. then aera tells how
“you know, your uncle jake helped everyone in math before. he’s a math wizard.”
“uncle jake, did you help mom math too?”
“i did. she got the 4th highest grade in our math exam.”
“and of course, your uncle jake got the highest grade.”
jake does this hand gesture where he says “oh please.”
“is my mom hard to teach?”
you and jake laughed, “well…let’s say you’re a fast learner than your mother.”
“mommy, i’m better at you in math!”
“i can’t believe you two are teaming up against me,” then you pretend to get shot at the heart and jake and aera laughed at your antics.
after dinner was done, aera became sleepy. she promised that she’ll finish her homework tomorrow. you let her sleep early because she looked exhausted.
“goodnight, uncle jake.” aera says then yawns.
“goodnight, kiddo. you did well today.” jake kneels down and aera hugs jake. you were surprised but jake returned the hug, the sight melted your heart.
“okay, sweetie. uncle jake has to go home and sleep too.” aera pulls away from the hug and then you tell her to get her clothes and take a shower.
“bye, uncle jake.” aera says before getting inside the bathroom.
when it was just you and jake alone, you looked into each other and laughed.
“aera will be sleeping well tonight.”
“yeah, looks like it.”
“hey,” you pause for a while, “thank you. for helping aera. she hasn’t been this happy for a while.”
“thank you for letting me stay.” for some reason, your heart fluttered, “for dinner.”
“oh,” then you let out a chuckle, “you’re welcome.”
you and jake let out another chuckle. and it might seem cringey but you didn’t care. because right now—this felt right. you looking to his eyes, and him doing the same. almost like you didn’t want him to leave.
“i, uh…” jake coughs, “i should probably go.”
“oh. yeah…right. drive safely.”
jake nods before he opens the door, saying goodbye before leaving.
when you closed the door, you let out a breath you realized you haven’t been holding. you’ve replayed how jake looked at you just a while ago. and every time you remembered his face, your heart would beat fast. when you remember him being a good friend to aera, you couldn’t help but melt at his gentleness towards your daughter.
“mommy?” aera walks out of the bathroom with a towel on her shoulders, “are you sick?”
“huh? oh. no, no sweetie.”
“your face is red.”
“it’s just hot sweetie. let’s tuck you to bed, okay?”
after tucking aera to bed, it was your turn to get ready for bed. and when you thought you’ll be able to sleep peacefully, days of jake bonding with your daughter flashed in your mind again. he hated mint chocolate but when he promised to bring a tub of it, he ate it with you and aera. he finished a cup of it and didn’t think of spitting it out or drinking water to cleanse his tongue. one time, when you gave him a glass of water, your fingers touched and you immediately pulled away.
you kept tossing and turning all night. it was like you were your old self, gushing over jake in the smallest things. though this time, you had a daughter. and jake treats her so well that you couldn’t help but smile and melt.
and you wore that smile until you slept peacefully at night.
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lately, you’ve been having headaches while feeling muscle pains. when you took a temperature test, it showed that you had fever. you immediately called yujin, saying you needed help to take care of aera. you couldn’t ask your parents help because they have a store to take of at home. besides, you didn’t want them to take a bus all the way here to the city. you were just thankful that yujin was happy to babysit aera while you we sick and you said that you were fine with being alone for now. you told jake about your sickness and aera’s tutoring sessions will be cancelled for now. he hopes for you to get better soon.
“remember to listen to aunt yujin, alright?”
“mhm!”
“and you don’t keep her waiting when she comes to fetch you.”
“yes, mommy!”
“don’t forget to finish your homework, alright? especially math.”
“yes, mommy!” you smile at your daughter then shift your attention to yujin, “thank you for doing this.”
“aera and i will have a good time, don’t worry,” yujin soothes aera’s head.
“i’m going to miss you, sweetie.” sadly, you couldn’t kiss aera goodbye.
“i’m going to miss you too, mommy!”
“okay sweetie, you’re going be late for school.”
aera and yujin say their goodbyes and you were left alone in your home. you lied down on your bed, with a glass of water beside you. you wrapped yourself in your blanket, hoping that it’ll stop you from shivering.
hours have passed and what you’ve been doing is eating, cleaning the used dishes, drinking medicine, and sleeping. you couldn’t wait to get better but you still felt sick and weak.
you were covered in your blanket when your doorbell rang. you wondered if it was yujin but she must be at home this hour, watching over aera.
you wore your mask before getting the door. when you opened it, you were surprised to see jake holding a stainless-steel lunchbox.
“oh, jake. hi.”
“i, uh…i made us some dinner. i made you soup.” jake raises the lunchbox, “i just thought you needed something to warm you up.”
you couldn’t help but melt at jake’s words. he really has this talent of turning small things into something big. and it made your heart flutter.
“come on in.” you opened the door for jake and let him in like always.
“i’ll just get us some plates.” then jake holds your shoulder, “i’ll do it. you can lie down and rest.”
you nod, “okay.” you were about to enter your room but you turn around, “plates and bowls are in the upper right cabinet.”
“got it.”
“and the spoons—” then jake shows you that he found the utensils on the other side of the cabinet.
“i’ll…” you point to your room and jake assures you that he’s got it covered.
you never let anyone in your home aside from your friends and parents. yujin and gaeul have always been pestering you to go on blind dates but you never did. letting someone else in your life was making you a little doubtful. but you were glad that jake is someone you knew and looks trustworthy.
“hey,” jake enters with a tray of the food he brought. you sit up then jake places the tray in front of you.
“what’s tonight’s main course?”
“well, we have ramyeon with ham, boiled eggs, and green onions.”
“sounds delicious.”
“here,” jake scoops some soup and gently blows it before bringing the spoon close to your mouth. you take the soup in your mouth and you smile, “that’s good soup. give my compliments to the chef.”
jake softly laughs, “will do.”
and jake proceeds to feed you the noodles and other toppings. you felt shy every time you couldn’t take the food in your mouth, especially if they were noodles. but jake didn’t judged you. when you were almost done, you drank the remaining soup left.
“you good?”
you nod, “mhm! thanks for the food. how about you?”
“i already ate, don’t worry.” you nod then you drank your medicine.
“um…jake?”
“yeah?”
“thank you for coming over.”
jake smiles, “you’re welcome. you can sleep if you want to.”
“hm? aren’t you…don’t you need to go home and do other things?”
“if it’s alright with you…could i stay for a while? i just figured that you need someone to take care of you right now.”
you couldn’t find the right words to say. jake sim, your highschool classmate, childhood crush, your daughter’s math tutor—is willing to nurse you.
“are you sure?”
“if it’s alright with you. because,” jake slowly brings his hand to your forehead. when you realized what he wanted to do, you leaned forward, letting his hand touch your forehead.
“you’re still burning up.”
the thought of jake sim touching your forehead still causes you to become speechless. when he lets go, you pretended to not be bothered at all.
“are you sure you’ll be okay? i’m a heavy sleeper.”
“i don’t mind. sleep all you want.”
jake takes the tray and helps you fix your pillow, tucking you inside your blanket.
“goodnight, y/n.”
you smile, “goodnight, jake.”
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jake was by your side until the day you got better. he cooked you food and let you rest. you felt guilty that he had to nurse you but he wanted to do it wholeheartedly. and your heart fluttered.
you confessed to aera that her uncle jake has been taking care of you while she was away. she was jealous at first because she wanted to take care of you. but you explained to her that you didn’t want to get her sick. she came to her senses and thanked jake that he took care of you. yujin, though, was protective at first but she proceeded to tease you about it.
though lately you’ve realized, your attraction on jake sim was coming back. but this time, you were starting to see him in a different light. he has always been selfless, kind, and gentle but him showing those actions to your daughter made you like him more. but of course, you couldn’t tell him directly how you felt. things were different now that you’re a mom and he’s your daughter’s math tutor.
you’d rather hide your feelings than accept a rejectin. you’ll be reminded that things that come into your life are temporary.
today, you were going to take aera out to a museum for kids. why? because she got a high score in her math exam. while you were sick, aera managed to study on her own and remember the lessons she had with jake. you called jake and told him the news and he felt so proud of her.
“mommy, can uncle jake come with us?”
“i don’t know, sweetie. but i’ll call uncle jake first, okay?” aera nods her head vigorously.
jake’s phone continued ringing and you waited for him to pick-up the call.
“hello, y/n?”
“hey, jake.”
“hi, uncle jake!” aera says and you hear jake laugh.
“aera says hi.”
“well, what’s up?”
“oh…you see, i’m taking aera out today. and we were wondering—i mean she was wondering if…if you wanted to come with us.”
you shake your head, feeling anxious if jake caught you. but that worry disappeared when jake replies, “sure, i mean i’d love to.” and he sounded full of glee.
“g-great! we’ll pick you up then?”
“oh, no. i’ll pick you guys up.”
“oh. but—”
“no, really. i want to pick you guys up.”
“oh,” again, jake’s doing the smallest things can become big. “okay, we’ll be ready by then.”
“okay. see you later.
“see you later.”
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never in a long time has jake sim thought that he’ll be meeting y/n again. not in a million years has he also expected to meet y/n’s daughter.
jake sim was just having a regular day: teaching physics at school, checking their papers, and create lesson plans. he goes home, continues checking papers, finishes his lesson plan, and reads more textbooks whether it be math or physics. finally, he washes up, does a little bit of social media, then goes to bed.
jake was used to getting compliments of him being a math genius. many expected him to be a scholar, a professor, an engineer, or a physicist. but it wasn’t that easy. believe it or not, jake sim couldn’t seem to know where he can fit in. he was the golden boy from high school but after he graduated, he became lost and unsure. but he did know he loved math and physics alongside ramyeon noodles.
jake sim does his daily routine when suddenly, he receives a message. he puts his papers down and checks his phone.
hello! are you available for a meet-up?
then he replies, hello there! may i know who i’ll be tutoring?
the sender didn’t reply. he thought that it was the usual ones who reply after an hour or two so he goes back to checking his papers.
after a while, the sender replied.
it’s my seven-year-old daughter. she needs help in math.
jake returns his attention to his phone.
jake: oh i see. may i know who i am speaking with?
the sender sends a familiar name. then jake remembers a girl he frequently heard in school.
jake: y/n? did we go to the same school together?
y/n: yup! same school since 2nd grade to high school.
jake felt like catching up with an old friend. he might have not known you that much but he knew your reputation of being one of his admirers and that you were full of spirit with a good personality. though he did remember you causing some trouble but you weren’t the bad student type. in fact, he remembers you giving him compliments on sticky notes.
jake: great! looking forward to meeting you.
y/n: looking forward to meeting you too.
fast forward to the day jake was going to meet you. it was only a casual meet-up about agreements and how he’ll help your daughter pass math class. he noticed that you seemed worried about your kid but he assured you that he’ll try his best to help her.
and when he met her, he couldn’t help but soften up. meeting aera was like a breath of fresh air to his regular students. aera was willing to listen and learn on her lessons. she was very sweet and fun to be with. her spirit reminded him of yours when you were younger.
“uncle jake, i drew this picture for you.” aera gives him a drawing of him, reading books on the table with a blackboard behind him that had math equations.
“you really drew this?” jake asks amazed at your daughter’s drawing skills.
“mhm! because you’re my favorite teacher and i like you.”
jake couldn’t help but smile at aera. the kid was too cute and sweet to do such a thing. he heard you walking from the kitchen, and you had some biscuits placed inside a bowl.
“for the both of you.”
“thank you, mommy.”
jake notices how aera says “thank you” whether it be small or big actions. he liked that about a kid. but then again, he notices that you do the same. and he can’t help but think that you really are a good  mother.
ever since jake met you and aera, his routine might have become longer than before. but he didn’t mind one bit. not when he can get to help you and aera.
jake’s first reaction of you getting sick was that he got worried. the thought of you sick in bed, alone in your home almost made him loose his mind at class.
“i just figured that you need someone to take care of you right now.”
he knew that you got stressed and tired from taking care of aera. he couldn’t imagine how you managed to get through it in seven years. and he wanted to take care of you.
jake might have had had encounters with women but they weren’t any serious. in his defense, he only went on dates so that sunghoon can stop pestering him.
his bond with you and aera’s was different. the only connection you and jake had was that you both went to the same school. now, you don’t have any status aside from the fact that he’s a math tutor. but he liked it when you ask them how they’re doing and give you snacks. something about your smile and warmth makes him feel comfortable and excited at the same time.
right now, he felt happy feeling that you’re letting him be part of your mother and daughter time.
“uncle jake, have you ever been to a museum?”
“i have. your mother and i went to one in a field trip.”
“mommy says that we’re going to a museum filled with drawings.”
“that sounds fun. you excited?”
“mhm! and it’s more exciting because you’re here.”
jake looks at you, smiling at the interaction. throughout the whole ride, he’s been noticing that you’ve been smiling and giggling the whole ride. and he couldn’t help but gush over it.
the moment the three of you came into the museum, aera couldn’t help but become excited. you let aera be happy and excited but not too much or she’ll break some displays.
you took a picture of aera at the interactive displays. jake took pictures of you and aera, you doing vise versa when aera wanted a picture with him. then aera says that she wanted to have a picture with the three of you. when jake looked at the picture, he couldn’t help but think the three of you looked like a family.
“uncle jake, look! you look like my daddy.”
aera’s words affected both of you. jake has always noticed that your bond with you and aera has changed. but he never noticed that it was beyond that. until now.
“sweetie, let’s go to the mannequins, hm?”
“okay!”
then you carry aera and the two of you happily walk to the mannequins. aera was giggling at how the living mannequin gave her a flower.
suddenly, jake saw you carrying a baby in a living room. then aera comes running to you, and you show her the baby. “here’s your little sister, you say.” then you look at jake, “honey.” aera calls him, “daddy!” then runs to his direction.
“jake!”
he blinks when you called him.
“let’s go?”
“uh, y-yeah. i’ll be right there.”
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you had a great time day today. aera was happy to spend her day with you guys and you were happy that she’s happy. jake’s company also made you feel happy. you thought that today’s trip would only be you and aera but with jake, it became a memorable one that you’ll never forget.
aera was sleeping peacefully at the back. you and jake were still awake but both of you were tired.
“she had fun, didn’t she?” jake asks, his eyes focusing on the road.
“she certainly did.
“who knew that she can run so fast?”
“one time, i had to chase her for thirty minutes in a playground. couldn’t catch up with her.”
“she reminds me of you. when we were eight.”
“oh please. anyone can barely put up with my energy.”
“it’s one of the best things about you.”
once again, jake sim made your heart flutter. when the car stops, jake looks at you and you avoid his gaze.
you let out a soft laugh, “yeah. i might have passed it down too much. you might have a hard time catching up with us.”
“i don’t mind. i can catch up just fine.”
then the light turns green and jake starts driving again. you were clutching your hand to your chest. your heart was beating fast that you could barely breathe. you hoped that your heart will have mercy until you got home.
minutes later, you arrived at your home. jake said he can carry aera all the way up to your unit.
you opened the door to aera’s room and jake slowly lies her down. you stand by the doorway and watch jake tuck her in and rub aera’s forehead before he leaves the room. both of you take one last glance at aera before you closed the door.
“thank you for tucking her in. and driving us home.”
“you’re welcome.”
just like the other night, you and jake were standing by the door, staring at each other. both of you didn’t say anything but give each other a look. you recognized that look because you had that look from when you were young and when you met jake again. some part of you felt scared. you never let anyone else in your life, after being left with a baby to raise on your own. but that other part was telling you that you felt happy and excited by letting someone in your life again. when all he showed you was you were worth taking care of.
“jake, i—”
jake didn’t let you finish when his lips landed on yours. his mouth molded perfectly in yours and you couldn’t help but kiss back. jake grabs your nape and the action made you sharply inhale. both of you kissed faster and tried catching each other’s lips. realizing that you’re standing in front if your daughter’s door, you pull away.
“she might hear us.” you whisper and before jake could say anything, you pulled him to your room.
when both of you got inside, you lean at the door and jake kisses you again. this time, you pulled him down by wrapping your arms around his neck. you tried catching your breaths before diving back into each other’s lips. jake slides his hand down to your waist and you let out a whimper. he took that signal as a sign to take off his coat and pull you with him.
you ended up being on top of jake and both if you giggled. you took off your jacket and before you knew it, jake was on top of you. he goes back to kissing you and holding your waist, as you held the sides of his face. jake’s lips left yours as he brushes it to your cheeks, down to your jaw, then down to your neck.
you let out a sigh, feeling euphoria. his touch was gentle and you yearned for it. you pull jake closer and he continues his magic. he slides his hands up then behind your back. you pull jake up and kissed again. he slows his movements this time, getting the rhythm that you wanted.
then realization hit you. this feeling was familiar and the thought was scaring you. the last time you felt this kind of attraction, that person was temporary in your life. you knew that jake was too. eventually, you and jake will part ways when his task is done.
“jake…” you say when you pull away. but jake doesn’t hear you and latches his lips on your neck again.
“wait. jake, stop.”
then jake finally hears you and his eyes looked worried.
“did i hurt you?”
“no. no, no. i…”
you couldn’t look at him in the eye. when you stood up, you brushed your hair back and looked at anywhere else.
“is everything okay?”
“i’m sorry. i don’t…”
you covered your face out if embarrassment, along with fear.
“y/n?” jake holds your arm. his touch made you slowly uncover your face.
“are you okay?”
“i’m…i’m scared.”
jake looks at you with his soft eyes. he places his hand on your cheek and you can feel the tears falling from your eyes.
“oh, no. don’t cry.”
but you did. you let yourself be pulled by jake’s embrace. jake calms you down by rubbing your back.
“everything is going to be alright. i'm here.”
for the first time, you’re actually believing those words.
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after crying and staying silent for hours, you finally had the courage to tell jake your sturggles.
“I met this guy in college. he was a year older than me but we took the same class.
“we went on a few dates before we became official. we had a plan. we graduate, gets jobs, get married, and eventually start a family.
“getting drunk at the graduation party was not part of it. getting pregnant after the party—not at all.”
jake continues to hold your hand as both of you lie down on your bed. he let you rest your head on his shoulder as you tell your story. jake sympathized with you, waiting for you to finish what you wanted to say.
“i told him but he said he was sticking to his plan. so he’s completely out of the picture and i raised aera on my own.
“ever since then, i was so scared of letting anyone in my life again. it scares me.
“i’m sorry.”
jake puts his hand on your cheek and you face him.
“don’t be. you’re allowed to feel what you feel.”
you give jake a smile, still feeling your eyes swell. but you were thankful that jake was very understanding.
“thank you for listening.”
“thank you for telling me.”
jake soothes your back and you didn’t notice that you fell asleep in his arms.
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after that night, you and jake exchanged “hi’s” awkwardly. but you tried your best not to show aera or let it affect you and jake’s agreement.
weeks passed, you and jake grew out of your awkward phase and became more comfortable eith each other. but he never forced you to start anything with him. he continued being a great father-figure to aera.
you can say that what you had was unlabeled but a part of you knows that you were starting to fall in love with jake. but you were afraid to tell him.
you were just washing the dishes after jake and aera finished their cakes. then aera’s question made you stop.
“uncle jake, if i get a high grade in math, does that mean you won’t be going here anymore?”
“of course not, kiddo. why would you think that?”
“because after i get a high grade, you won’t be teaching me anymore.”
“well, yes…because you already know how to do math. but…” at this point, you were looking at jake then he continues, “it doesn’t mean i'll stop visiting you.”
“really?”
“really.”
then aera hugs jake and he hugged her back.
“if you ace the final exam, we’ll eat mint chocolate ice cream together.” then jake looks at you.
“okay!”
aera did her best and jake was beyond proud of her. you were too. you were proud for the both of them. seeing jake with aera, you thought that he can be more than a father-figure. you knew that both of them have a special bond that is more than a tutor and student.
the next days, jake was starting to stay at home longer. he was so familiar with the place that he remembers where you keep your plates and utensils. one time, the three of you played monopoly and you didn’t remember how long you played because the three of you were having fun. jake declared himself as the winner even though there is no real winner in monopoly.
some nights, you and jake would tuck aera together and she liked it. she never complained about having a father but with jake becoming part of your lives, it was like a dream come true for her.
“i don’t know if me hanging out longer looks like i'm invading your home.”
“i don’t mind. besides, we like having you around.”
you and jake were alone in the living room. drinking a glass of wine while having late night conversations.
“do you maybe…want us to go out sometime? just the two of us.”
“yeah. i’d love that.”
“great. it’s a date then.”
you were surprised but you liked it.
“yes, jake. it’s a date.”
you lean on the couch with the glass on your right hand. jake leans in the couch too, looking at you softly.
“it’s weird though.”
“what is?”
“that i never got to see how amazing you are. you’re not just the girl who causes trouble or teachers dislike for drawing in class.”
“to be fair, i never realized how good you are with kids. it’s making me hard not to fall for you.”
you didn’t know if it was the alcohol. but you suddenly confessing your feelings for jake sim was somehow déjà vu.
“i’ll, uh,” you put down your glass, “i’ll make us some coffee.”
you stand up and was about to go to the kitchen when jake pulls you around and kisses you. you kissed him back, tasting the red sine you just drank. jake holds your cheek and you lean forward, holding his waist.
when you pull away, your eyes were still closed but you can feel jake’s breath on your lips.
“i love you.”
you open your eyes and jake was smiling at you. His cheeks were red. might be from the wine or from the proximity and confession he just said.
 “i’m not drunk am i?”
jake smirks, “i don’t think so.” then kisses you again, and you pull him closer.
“thank you for accepting me.” you whisper at his lips.
“no. thank you for accepting me.”
who would’ve thought that a bottle of red wine was all you needed for the perfect confession. but for now, you needed to make two cups of coffee so you and jake can have a proper conversation.
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when you told aera the news, you told her that you loved jake like how anne loves gilbert and that jake loves you the same. then aera follows, “but didn’t you already know?” and you were caught off guard.
nevertheless, aera liked the idea of you and jake being together. you haven’t told her about how you met jake. but one day you will so that she’ll know that the right person will come along in time.
just as jake promised you, both of you will be going on a date together. you asked where you’ll be going but he said it was a surprise.
so you dressed up wearing a denim dress that you thought you’ll never use. you wore the necklace your mother gave you when you graduated high school. it felt weird when you asked aera if you looked okay. but she says that you look beautiful as ever. both yujin and gaeul wanted to babysit her this time. but you also knew that they wanted to see you finally having your date with jake sim. but they were hapoy for you that you finally found someone.
“you really don’t want to tell me where we’re going?”
“not a chance.”
you roll your eyes but you knew that jake was trying to give you a date you can remember.
minutes later, the scenery changed into a lake. the water was shining and the grass was turning to a yellow green color thanks to the sunlight. your jaw dropped at the scenery. it was like an actual painting.
when jake stopped the car, he immediately got out and opened the door for you.
“i wanted to find a place only for us.”
“how did you find this place?”
“had a little help from sunghoon and jay.”
“oh how are those two anyway?”
“they’re doing well, actually. jay is engaged and sunghoon is in denial that he’s crushing on his workmate.
you laugh, remembering sunghoon for his schemes and playboy antics. you remember him teasing jake about a girl he liked in high school.
“you okay?”
“hm?”
“you look grumpy.”
“oh.” you shake your head and grab the picnic basket from jake, “come on!”
the whole picnic, you and jake did some catching up. you told him that your parents are still residing in your hometown and your mom’s flower shop is still om business. your dad retired long ago and he just stays at home. jake’s parents were in australia and they were professors in two different universities.
“i suddenly remembered something. weren’t you supposed to move back to australia after high school?”
jake looks down at your figure, “you trying to get rid of me?” then you give jake a “really?” look and he laughs. you sit up and looked at him, placing your palm on his chest. jake was looking up at the sky, thinking deep.
“it was planned, yes. honestly, i was happy to be back home for a while but…something was telling me that i had to be somewhere else.
“i told my parents that i wanted to go back here. they were hesitant at first but i told them to trust me.”
“and did you find what you were looking for?”
“i did,” then he looks at you, “and i realized that i made the right choice to come home.”
“welcome home, jake.” you leaned down and intended to give him a quick kiss but he leans his face forward, trapping your lips.
“that wasn’t fair.”
“i love you too.”
you laugh but gave jake quick pecks and kept saying “I love you’s” in between. you were afraid of being too affectionate but you couldn’t help but show them when jake showers you a lot of it.
jake giggles like a kid then he hovers over you and it was his turn to attack you with kisses.
then both of you ate the sandwiches he made then watched the sunset together. and it was better than any romance movie you watched.
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you and jake didn’t really care if you wanted to go public with your relationship. but now that both of you are driving back to your home town for the reunion, you couldn’t help but be nervous. everyone in high school knew your reputation especially that jake was involved. they don’t even know that you’re a single mom of a seven-year-old girl. and now, you’re dating the boy you had a crush on.
your friends won’t be coming because they had to babysit aera. you were hesitant at first to go but you promised jake that you’ll come with him. also, he really wanted to introduce you as his girlfriend to his friends.
“you ready?” jake unbuckles his seatbelt and then he notices you tensing up.
“you okay, baby?”
“what? oh. y-yeah. maybe not?”
“i’ll be with you the whole time,” jake places his hand on yours, “okay?”
you gulp then nod, “okay.”
jake unbuckles your seatbelt, “let’s go.”
when you and jake entered the hall, everyone was in their tables, probably chatting about their careers and relationships. they were all familiar faces. chaewon, the former class president, was chatting with your former homeroom teacher, mrs. bang. somi, one of jake’s admirers was with a date. ej was with his friend nicholas. those two were hard to separate.
“jake, my man!”
you and jake turn around and see jay approaching you. he and jake gave a brotherly hug. then out of no where, sunghoon barges in and headlocks jake.
“dude!”
“sim jaeyun is here!”
and apparently it caught everyone’s attention and they began whispering when they saw you with the famous “02z of daebom high.”
“so…jake.” sunghoon eyes you then back to jake, raising his eyebrows up and down.
“sunghoon, jay, you remember y/n, don’t you?” jake places his hand around your waist.
“how could we forget when she always screams in the hallways 'jake sim jjan!’ or ‘jakey, the sun can’t shine without your existence in the world!’”
“oh please, don’t.” your face becomes red from embarrassment.
“but y/n, i have to say, it’s about time jake did something more than spend his time on paperwork.”
the four of you chatted for a while before finding a table for the four of you. being in the same table with the three flower boys was your high school dream. it felt weird that it came true after many years but in different circumstances.
“baby, want something to eat?”
“not that hungry, thank you.”
“how about some appetizers?”
“meatballs with cheese would be nice though.”
“i’ll be right back,” jake eyes his friends, “be nice.”
“yes, sir!” sunghoon and jay do a salute before jake leaves you with them.
“y/n, tell me. has jake been giving you headaches?”
“no, actually, he’s been helping me a lot. he’d drop by and help tutor my daughter. then we’d have movie nights until we tuck aera to sleep. we go and do the most mundane dates but with him…he makes it so special.”
then you noticed jay and sunghoon just looking at you in awe.
“you really love him, don’t you?”
you nod, “i do. very much.”
“he may not be telling you this but, ever since he met you, his boring, ordinary life became vibrant and full of joy. i’ve never seen him that happy since.”
jay’s words made you feel accepted. he has always had a way with words but it was the first time you actually heard it.
“thanks, jay.”
“y/n, in case he does do something stupid, just give him a smack in the head and he’ll come around.”
“will try to remember that, sunghoon.”
“meatballs for my lady,” jake places the plate in front of you. jay and sunghoon were about to get some when jake slaps their hands.
“go get your own.”
jay was about to slap jake’s shoulder when mrs. bang starts to speak.
“class of 20xx, i’d like to start this reunion by saying, welcome home.”
everyone claps and you follow. your homeroom teacher continues by saying that there will be a program performed by somi and her friends. like before, she’s always had charisma when performing on stage.
there was games. pocky games were always the best. jay and sunghoon did it by vote. everyone cheered when the pocky stick became small in very bite. both of them didn’t want to loose but they didn’t want to touch each other’s lips either so jay took the fall.
there were some awardings too. the life of the party: sunghoon. shy prince: ej. math wizard: your jake. you got the artist award.
the event was still on-going but you and jake left early. you wanted jake to formally meet your parents.
on the drive going there, you felt nervous but you didn’t want to let jake know. as for jake, you can sense that he’s nervous because he was biting his tongue while looking at his feet.
“baby,” you call jake and when he turns around, “you cup his face.”
“they’re going to love you.”
this time, you’re assuring jake. you felt nervous too but you love jake and you know that he’s a good man that your parents will love.
you and jake waited for someone to answer the door. and when it opened, your mom answers it.
“hi, mom. dad.”
“y/n? who’s this?”
“this is jake. he’s my boyfriend.”
and your parents ended up loving jake. they remember him when you mentioned you went to daebom high together. suddenly, they told jake stories about you gushing over jake. you figured that you had quite the reputation here in town.
“oh jake, you should’ve seen y/n write your name at the back of her notebook with hearts.”
“mom!” you cover your face but your parents kept teasing you.
“jake, y/n might seem the free spirit type but she’s someone who has a big heart.”
“yes, sir. and i'll take care of her and aera.”
your dad kept offering jake some alcohol but you kept reminding him that both of you need to drive home. but a twist of events lead to jake becoming wasted and your parents saying that both of you should spend the night here.
“mom, i have to see aera.”
“y/n, you’re tired and jake is drunk. now, i don’t want both of you getting into an accident.”
you sigh, “yes, mom.”
you carried jake to your old room and lie him on his back. he kept calling your name but you just laughed, finding him cute with his red face.
“baby, i need to take off your shirt. okay?”
jake pouts and covers his chest, “my girlfriend will get mad at me.”
“jake, it’s me.”
jake slowly opens his eyes, “oHhh y/n!”
just like that, jake was fast asleep. you slowly lifted him so he can sit up. when he was sitting on the head board, you gently unbuttoned his shirt. you were thankful that he was wearing a white shirt inside. after that, you positioned him facing the side with a pillow under his head.
“talk about ‘i’ll take care of her.’”
you laugh softly but you lightly jake’s head. he looked really cute. sleeping like a baby.
“y/n…” jake says  slurring in his sleep.
“you and aera,” he lets out a hiccup, “are the best thing,” another hiccup, “that’s ever happened to me.”
for so long, you were so scared that when you let someone in your life, they’d leave you. for a while, you thought that you were content that it was just you and your daughter against the world. but eventually, this man right here, drunk and sleep talking is going to be a good father to aera. this man right here is the one you want to spend the rest if your life with.
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you’ve been dating for a while now and he has been dropping by your place almost every day. so you asked him to move in with you. it wasn’t anything new except that jake doesn’t have to drive before he gets to see you and aera.
and when you slept at the same bed for the first time, it was a little awkward. but like before, both of you adjusted and got used to it.
you and jake would cuddle before you go to bed. he’d be the big spoon, whether you were facing behind him or you were lying on his chest.
“you know, i should’ve asked you sooner.”
“be grateful that i said yes in a heartbeat.”
“oh, thank you, sir jake.” you teasingly thank him like he was a knight.
the rest of the night, you’d have tickle fights until both of you will snuggle until you sleep.
but like any other relationship, there were always misunderstandings and conflicts.
“jake, all i'm saying is that we don’t have enough money to buy a new place.”
“y/n, i have enough to get us one.”
“didn’t it come across your mind that we should be buying it together?”
“well if maybe your job was—”
“what, jake? if i were a teacher, earning a monthly salary like you?”
“y/n, that’s not what i meant.”
but you walked out before he could finish. you didn’t talk to jake for the rest of the night. jake waa in the living room while you stayed in your bedroom. you were thankful that aera was oblivious to the situation.
after an hour, jake went inside your room and you were facing behind him.
“y/n…”
you didn’t say anything.
“i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said that.”
“you think?”
“i just thought that if we get a new place, we’d finally settle in a home as a family. but truth is, wherever you are…you are my home.”
you finally turn around, but all you could do was stare at jake as he waits for you to say something.
“did you say family?”
‘yeah. i did.”
you didn’t think before hugging jake. he hugs you back, burying his face on your neck.
you and jake agreed that when the time is right, you’ll get a new place and everything else will fall into place.
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you’ve been thinking for a while about what jake said. you did consider moving to a new place but your savings weren’t enough. but you also wanted to start a new life with jake in it.
so you decided to find a full-time job as an art teacher for elementary students. hoping that you’ll have enough income for your family’s future. and no, you didn’t force yourself. you choice this because it’s for the ones you love.
“ms. y/n, am i doing a okay?”
“you’re doing great, jungwon!” you give your student a big smile.
“niki you’re doing great too!”
you never fail to compliment your students. you might not have the best audiences when you were young. but you didn’t want to crush children’s dreams when they remind you of how you were.
“okay, kids. don’t forget that your homework is due tomorrow.”
you were thankful that your class was the last one. you were in the middle of fixing your things when someone knocked at the door.
“hey.”
“hey. your class is done?”
“yeah. well, i clocked out early.”
oh, right. jake finally became a full-time math teacher. both of you work at the same school. he thought that he should be helping you so you can get a new place. besides, it’s a great opportunity for him to go home with you and aera.
“are you not feeling well?” you stand up and held jake’s forehead but he shakes his head.
“actually, we are going out for a while.”
your eyes grew wide, “where are we going?”
“i’ll tell you when we get there.”
“jake.”
“it’s going to be fun,” you raised your brow at jake then he says, “i promise.”
next thing you knew, you and jake were in the car taking the route to  your hometown. the next surprising thing is when he parked in front of your old school.
“what are we doing here?”
jake just gives you a smile before getting out of the car. he opens the door for you, kneeling down.
“come with me.”
it might seem weird that jake always makes your heart flutter for the bare minimum but heck, this is jake sim we’re talking about.
both if you were walking down the hallways of the school. it felt weird walking in the same place where you called jake’s name to get his attention. now, you’re holding each other’s hand.
“don’t worry, the teachers know that we’re visiting.”
“any reason why we’re visiting?”
“when we reach the end of the hall, you’ll know.”
so you and jake continue walking. both of you stop then jake holds your hand.
“for this part, i'm going to need you to close your eyes.”
you were hesitant at first but you did what jake asked. he was holding your hand the whole time you walked with your eyes closed. then he stopped.
“wait a minute.”
jake’s lets go if your hand.
“you can open them now.”
you were greeted with lights behind jake. the banner with the sign, “will you accept me?” then you realized that this is how you confessed to jake in high school. and you’re in the same room.
jake was holding a bouquet with pink, white, and red roses with baby’s breath. and he had a ring on his other hand.
“y/n, i never would’ve thought that my boring, plain, life would be so colorful, vibrant, and joyful. you and aera…i couldn’t imagine how my life would turn out if you weren’t in my life. you let me become part of your life, and i want to spend my remaining days with you and our family.”
“so,” jake kneels down in front of you. the action caught your breath away.
“will you accept me?”
you gave yourself a minute to process what was happening. and when you did, you finally say…
“jake, i appreciate what you have done but…
“it would be a shame if i don’t say yes.”
you laugh and you let your tears fall on your face.
“yes, yes, yes.”
 jake stands up and finally gives you a tight hug. you bury your face in his chest.
jake kisses your head and whispers, “i love you.”
you lift your head up, “i love you.”
the last time you fell in love, things might not have gone the way you wanted them to. you doubted a lot of things and distanced yourself. then you met a man who proved to you that you deserve a second chance.
this time, you were sure that it will be different and will be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
***
epilogue
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flowerandblood · 3 months
Text
The Fall from the Heavens (10)
[ dark • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]
[ warnings: angst, arranged engagement, violence, swearing, trauma, regret, depression, mention of a suicide attempt ]
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[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]
The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.
Characters & Series Moodboard
* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *
Next chapters: Masterlist
_____
It seemed to her that for days she had lingered in a deep, restless sleep, once seeing her past before her eyes, and once seeing something that seemed to her to be the future, dark and frightening.
When she awoke the first thing she smelled was his scent, smoke and ash; she felt his hands stroking her body, his soft lips on her neck. She sighed then with relief, thinking that all she had seen, all that had happened to her, was just a bad dream.
It occurred to her that they had escaped from the library together and were still lying in each other's embrace in the chamber to which he had taken her, that perhaps she would soon bear his child, that she would become his wife. Her fingers intertwined with his then, and despite the discomfort she was feeling within her wrists, she felt safe.
She finally opened her eyes and found to her surprise that it was morning, but she was in her chamber, his body pressed against her from behind, his arms embracing her tightly, his calm, warm breath enveloping her neck.
She smiled to herself and attempted to lift herself up to sit, but she hissed loudly, surprised at how much pain she felt in her wrists when she shifted the weight of her body into her hands. She looked at them and froze, seeing the bandages on them, feeling the cold sweat on her back, her heart began to pound like mad.
"− my love? −" She heard his voice, startled and uncertain. She looked at him and already knew; her lower lip trembled, tears of anger, regret and disappointment gathered under her eyelids.
It was all true.
His betrayal and what happened next.
Moon tea.
She pressed her lips together so that no sound came out of them and lay down again, turning her back to him, trembling all over. She drew in the air loudly when she felt him embrace her immediately, his warm, accelerated breath enveloping her neck.
"− I didn't know − I swear I didn't know about the moon tea −" He muttered with a pain and regret from which she felt her heart squeeze, his face pressed into her hair seeking comfort, but nothing came out of her mouth.
She looked towards the window behind which the sun was shining, and although a new day had dawned, night had fallen in her heart and mind, for despite still being alive, she felt dead.
She stayed for him, she gave him what she held most precious, she believed him.
None of his tears or grief could change the fact that all she felt for him was compassion.
She thought he was a pathetic, weak man running at his mother's every beck and call, thinking he was entitled to everything.
She decided that she would punish him the way he had punished her all these years.
With her silence.
It turned out that persevering with her decision came easily to her, as she had no desire to look at him; she would not answer his questions, she would not let him feed her or stay in the chamber when she took a bath with the help of his servants.
She didn't use words, so she couldn't tell him that she didn't wish for his presence, however, she later decided that she did not feel the need to do so − she derived satisfaction from him returning to her like a moth to a flame, night after night falling asleep in his tentative embrace, feeling the closeness and warmth of his body, his fingers stroking her hands and arms.
He didn't try to take her, he knew she wouldn't let him, and there was something about it that, to her despair, aroused her.
The fact that she could feel his swollen, throbbing manhood on her buttocks, that she could feel his anxious, shuddering breath on her neck, his body writhing restlessly behind her making her insides clench wonderfully.
She fought with herself, trying to keep a sober mind from guiding his hand between her thighs, to keep him from satisfying her with his long, warm fingers.
She decided that she would not give him that satisfaction and pleased herself alone, in brief moments of solitude during her baths, involuntarily thinking of him and what they had done then, in that cramped, cool chamber.
Once she had fallen from her elation all that was left in her was emptiness, regret and bitterness.
She thanked the gods then that she had been able to restrain herself and not let him take her again, that after what he had done he deserved nothing she could and wanted so much to give him.
Her thoughts wandered to her family, to how she could be of service to them.
She decided that she would wait patiently until her uncle's wedding to one of Lord Baratheon's daughters, remaining calm until then, not causing any trouble, wanting to lull their vigilance.
She knew that such an event would focus the attention of most of the keep and she would be able to try to use this to escape.
One of the servants whispered during her bath as she poured oils into her tub that there were people in this stronghold who still supported her mother, that they would help her flee when the time was right.
She accepted these words with relief, finally having the feeling that she was not alone.
No one besides her uncle and his sister visited her, questioned her or demanded anything of her. She was surprised when, in her presence, a servant girl conveyed to him that the Queen wished to speak with her, and he replied that she was to convey to her that he forbade it.
Neither the Queen, Otto, Aegon nor Criston Cole crossed the threshold of her chamber after what had happened at his clear command.
Her uncle had decided that Helaena would stay with her in his absence, and although she craved nothing more than solitude, her presence did not bother her.
She was their hostage, just like she was.
Helaena was an affectionate caregiver to her – when she was still weak she helped her to eat, get up and dress. They did not speak to each other, however, she felt that there was a kind of warmth between them, a kind of understanding, a sense that they both suffered just as much and supported each other in their agony.
All day long they would sit and read books or embroider, listening to the birds sing; all around them a strange stillness, the calm before the storm, a tension that could be felt in the air.
War was coming, they all felt it in their bones.
"– from the mingled blood will emerge a dragon's crown –" She whispered under her breath, cocking her head, looking dreamily at the spider figure she had embroidered on the light fabric.
She lifted her gaze to her, surprised, wondering if the very thing her uncle had once told her about had happened.
He had said to her that Helaena had seen things in her dreams.
Helaena hummed under her breath, mending one of the threads that had entangled, piercing the material from underneath with a needle, pulling it out on the other side.
"What does it mean?" She asked softly, piercing the needle with thread across to the other side, pulling it so that it formed another knot folding into one of the wings of a bird.
The Arryn family crest, her expression of who she identified with, who she supported.
"He really tried. I was there. He tried, but they cornered him and forced him to succumb." She said calmly; she felt a tightening in her throat, understanding perfectly well that she was referring to her brother. She lowered her gaze, clenching her hands into fists, feeling discomfort in her stomach.
"I trusted him. I gave myself to him." She said in a trembling voice, regret, resentment and disappointment flowing out of her like a black stream, feeling that she could no longer hold it in, that it was poisoning her from the inside.
She shuddered when Helaena finally looked at her, in her bright eyes understanding and compassion, but also something else, some kind of deep, bottomless sadness.
"He wanted to keep his vows. He said he wanted to marry you, but the only person who supported him in that decision fell asleep forever. When you…" She fell silent for a moment and lowered her gaze, swallowing quietly, both of them didn't say a word for a moment, knowing what she meant.
"…I've never seen him like this. I didn't think he was capable of such despair, of such affection." She said, sighing quietly, looking up at her again, her white hair tied into a braid that shone wonderfully in the sunlight.
"After you moved to Dragonstone, he wouldn't let anyone mention you. When I spoke of you, he would burst into a rage and leave. He never came to terms with what had happened. My grandfather, disturbed by information from the servants that they had seen your letters, told me to go to his chamber to look for them and then bring them to him. He stated that he would not suspect me of anything. I found them in his drawer. There were so many that they barely fit in there. Each year tied separately with a black ribbon, sorted, arranged in the right order."
Helaena spoke, looking absently out of the window; she felt her heart begin to pound like mad, her throat and stomach clenched with pain. She played with her fingers in a nervous gesture listening to her intently, wanting so badly to know what had happened to him over the years, what he thought of her.
"Some of them looked much more worn than others, as if he returned to them particularly often. It shocked me but also gave me hope because I had stopped recognising him over the years. He had turned into a cold rock who rammed everything in his path. I told my grandfather I hadn't found anything, that he had apparently burned your letters after he read them to leave no evidence." She said and sighed, massaging her temple, looking tired and discouraged as she clearly could not get the peace she so desperately wanted.
Their conversation made her feel even worse.
Some part of her sympathised with him, while another part resented him for simply not kidnapping her to Essos, for intending to take this girl as his wife and beget his children with her, for hoping that she would understand and forgive him.
That evening he came to her chamber as he did every day – she pressed her lips together lowering her gaze to her embroidery, feeling his burning gaze, her heart began to pound like mad.
She heard him sit in the same place he always did, in a chair facing her right next to the fireplace, watching her for a moment; she heard him sigh heavily as he turned his head, simply looking into the flames, thoughtful.
She felt resentful towards herself that she had begun to feel some kind of sympathy for him again, to justify him in her mind wanting to believe that he actually cared for her as much as she cared for him, that what had happened was the result of his grandfather's cold calculation and not his will, that he, like her, was standing between a hammer and an anvil.
She swallowed quietly, trying to focus on the pattern she was sewing and not think about what Helaena had said to her.
About her letters that he had kept in his drawer for years, that he had returned to and cherished, that he had tried to fulfil his promise in spite of everything.
She felt a discomfort in her stomach and a squeeze in her throat at the thought that they were both in fact prisoners of the situation, unable to express or do what they really wanted.
She shuddered when he stood up suddenly with a loud creak of wood and walked over to his secretary's desk, opening it, pulling out parchment, quill and inkwell. She blinked in confusion, watching as he sat down and mused, sinking the tip of the quill into the ink, then began to write.
She wondered what had happened, who had been the recipient of his words, and thought with regret that it had surely been Lord Baratheon or one of his daughters, that his mother had commanded him to take action and try to win their hearts.
She lowered her gaze at this thought, sad and discouraged, returning to her work, piercing the needle from underneath the fabric, pulling it out on the other side with a light, soft flick of her hand.
She looked at him surprised when, many minutes later, he put down the quill, rolled up the parchment and walked over to her, placing it next to her on the table and simply left the chamber, closing the door behind him.
She looked at the scroll in disbelief feeling the cold sweat on the back of her neck, her heart pounding like mad, her fingers clenched tightly on the material she had just embroidered on.
For the first time it was he who had written her a letter.
His words to her, his act of desperation.
She felt some kind of emotion at the thought, felt tears under her eyelids because although she didn't know what was written there, she felt it would break her heart.
She reached for the parchment with a trembling hand and unrolled it slowly placing it on her lap, beginning to read in breathless amazement what her uncle had to say.
My Rhaenys,
I set out on my journey to Storm's End to quench my grandfather and mother's thirst with a sense of injustice. It occurs to me that only now am I able to understand what you have been going through all these years, experiencing from me only the silence I deeply believed you deserved at the time.
I'm sure you think the same of me now, and you're not wrong, because I myself am unable to comment or justify what happened through my hesitation, which cost me everything.
I thought it is easy to see what is right and what is wrong, to choose the proper path, but after my father's death it became apparent that none of this was the case, and my mother's and my grandfather's decision set it out for me, against my will, and although I tried to stand up to it, it seems to me that the consequences of their actions have sunk me like a wave that carries me onward, away from the safe harbour that you are.
I want you to realise, my niece, that one word from you is enough for us to slit our lips and hands upon my return and drink our warm, mingled blood, sealing at last our destiny once and for all.
I, unlike Aegon the Conqueror, want you in my bed every night.
I don't think Lord Baratheon's mind can contain what we read about as children and that he would accept that his daughter would be merely a second, and moreover, unwanted wife in my life. Union with him may give us an army to wage war on, but my union with you may in my mind end it with the birth of our child, a descendant of the Greens and Blacks.
I am not, and will not be able to accept, either as your uncle or as your husband, Jacerys, Lucerys or Joffrey as heirs to the throne for reasons that are well known to you, and which neither the marriage nor the threats of your stepfather and your mother can change − we both know full well that they do not and cannot have rights to the crown.
However, Aegon's and Viserys's rights to it are strong, unassailable even by me, and although as your uncle I have no personal interest in your mother or her offspring sitting on the Iron Throne, as your husband I would be willing, as part of a truce, to agree that it should not be Helaena and Aegon's children who inherit the throne, but my half-sister's and my uncle's or, if both sides in the conflict were to be at least partially satisfied, ours.
I have spent the last few days reflecting on what has happened and on what I think would be a solution that would satisfy me, but it has turned out that there is none. Unlike my brother, I don't delude myself that your mother will bend the knee, any more than any person with any dignity or pride would.
We all have to sacrifice something.
She looked at what she had read with a kind of disbelief, and covered her mouth with her hand, clenching her eyelids, warm tears of simultaneous relief and pain flowed from the corners of her eyes, for here was her uncle, a man she no longer recognised suddenly seemed closer to her than ever.
He had shared with her musings that would have been considered a betrayal by his brother and grandfather.
She read his letter quickly a few more times, trying to calm her breathing, noticing with surprise that her hands were trembling.
I want you to realise, my niece, that one word from you is enough for us to slit our lips and hands upon my return and drink our warm, mingled blood, sealing at last our destiny once and for all.
I, unlike Aegon the Conqueror, want you in my bed every night.
My Rhaenys.
She covered her face with her hand, letting out a loud breath, no longer knowing for herself what she thought of it all, distraught and torn, at the same time wanting to stay with him and run away, to support him and her mother, wanting to be in two places at once.
To be a good wife and to be a good daughter.
Though she tried, she could not choose.
She thought with pain, lying in her bed at night, covered in furs, that he had just chosen his future wife, that he would marry this woman if she did not agree to his terms, that she would lose him forever, that his hands, his lips would caress another woman.
She clenched her eyelids and wept quietly, feeling a sting in her heart at the thought, furious with herself that despite all she had been through she had not been able to stop loving him, she had not been able to tear him from her heart.
It would be better if you ripped your heart out, she remembered Daemon's words and thought with a sneer that she only now truly understood them.
She looked at her wrists, her still red, healed wounds, and considered trying again, but decided it made no sense, that if the gods wanted her dead, Ser Criston would not have stepped into her chamber then.
The gods wanted her to live, but why?
She screamed and pulled herself up, sitting up, turning towards the door when she heard someone enter her chamber, within seconds her uncle was beside her, pulling her by her arm and dragging her forcibly from the bed, grabbing her grey cloak on the way.
"− uncle? − what are you − stop −" She cried out horrified as he surrounded her with it and put the hood over her head, pulling her towards the door despite her standing up to him, not understanding what was happening, what he was up to.
She thought he would want to marry her by force, that he had no intention of waiting for her decision.
"− no − I don't want to − you won't make me − I'm going to scream −" She mumbled as she followed him barefoot down the torch-lit corridor, trying to break away from him but fruitlessly; she heard him snort, he looked at her over his shoulder with annoyance and impatience.
"Be fucking quiet. Don't you want to see your little brother? Hm? I thought so." He growled and tugged her towards the narrow staircase leading underground; she squealed loudly but didn't say a word, breathing heavily through her mouth, her heart starting to pound like crazy.
Don't you want to see your little brother?
She wondered if he was mocking her, if this was some kind of trap, some kind of trial.
She was afraid of him.
She wept silently quivering with cold and terror, walking with him in complete darkness.
And then she spotted a light, a silhouette standing by the open door and she recognised him, his black curly hair, his terrified face expressing disbelief.
Her uncle let go of her and she stopped, breathing hard, his name bursting from her throat like a desperate cry.
Luke.
_____
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phillydilly · 7 months
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We made it
⊹♡— in which she falls in love with the boy she grew up with, and they realise that the highs and lows of life hadn’t stopped them from succeeding
Max Verstappen x fem!reader
Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of j*s Verstappen, mentions of substance abuse
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When I was six years old, life led me on an unexpected adventure, a journey that would intertwine my fate with Max's in the most remarkable way. It all began on a sweltering summer afternoon as I aimlessly wandered the sun-soaked streets of our tough neighborhood. The air hung heavy with the scents of asphalt and distant hopes. My parents were both ensnared by the cruel clutches of addiction, leaving me to navigate the challenges of life on my own, like a small boat adrift in a stormy sea.
On that particular day, a strange serendipity drew me away from my usual aimless wanderings. The distant sound of a kart engine reached my ears like a siren's call, beckoning me toward the source of its excitement.
Curiosity piqued, I followed the melodic hum until I stumbled upon a makeshift karting track hidden within a forsaken corner of our neighborhood. There, in the hazy afternoon light, I found a young boy, no older than me, toiling away in solitude, his small frame dwarfed by the task at hand. He was Max, his eyes heavy with a sadness that belied his tender age.
As I approached, Max looked up, his eyes meeting mine with a mix of surprise and weariness. "Hi," he said, his voice carrying the weight of a thousand unspoken stories. "I'm Max. Do you want to race me in my go-kart?"
It was an invitation, a small glimmer of hope that hung in the air. But beneath the surface, I could sense a darkness, a heaviness that Max carried within him. It wasn't long before he began to open up to me, sharing the painful truth of what had transpired earlier that day.
Max had been part of a race, one filled with the adrenaline of competition and the dreams of victory. Yet, the story took a darker turn. He had lost that race, and the consequences of that defeat were more profound than I could have ever imagined. Max's abusive father, consumed by anger at his son's perceived failure, had abandoned him at the track, leaving young Max alone with the daunting task of cleaning up and packing away the remnants of their racing dreams.
In that moment, as I listened to Max's story, my heart ached with empathy and a sense of shared vulnerability. I couldn't bear the thought of Max having to endure this ordeal alone, left to grapple with the shadows of his own past. Without hesitation, I offered to help him.
Together, we folded up the discarded tires, picked up the strewn bits of trash, and neatly stowed away the racing karts. It was during this collaborative effort that our friendship began to take root, as we shared stories of our troubled pasts, found moments of laughter amidst the chaos, and whispered our dreams of becoming Formula One drivers under the setting sun.
As the golden orb dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows that stretched toward us, Max and I walked back home together. The bond that had formed during our shared experience grew stronger with each step. We might have come from the darkest corners of our neighborhood, facing adversity that seemed insurmountable, but in each other, we had found the greatest treasure—a friend who would stand by us through thick and thin.
The years rolled on, bringing with them the trials and tribulations of adolescence. Max and I continued to nurture our friendship, our shared passion for racing, and our unwavering support for one another. We became each other's pillars of strength in a world that often seemed unforgiving.
At the age of 14, we faced another turning point. Max's unwavering dedication to racing clashed with the realization that my passion for it was waning. I felt like I was holding him back, and the weight of guilt began to bear down on me.
"I don't think I want to race anymore," I finally confided in Max one day. "I think it's time for me to find something else.”
Max looked at me, his face serious but kind. "You don't have to do something just because I love it. We're best friends, and I want you to be happy."
His words offered solace, but I still grappled with the fear of losing him and the uncertainty of what lay ahead for our friendship.
High school came and went, and our bond persisted, though not without its changes. There was a subtle tension between us that hadn't existed before. I was nervous around Max, unsure of how to act.
One day, as we sat on my front porch, discussing our plans after graduation, Max turned to me, his eyes intense with emotions he could no longer contain.
"I don't want to lose you," he said, his voice trembling with vulnerability. "But I can't keep pretending anymore. I'm in love with you."
I was stunned, my mind racing as I processed his confession. I had never thought of Max in that way, but as he spoke, I realized that my feelings were more complex than I had ever imagined.
"I love you too," I said, my own voice quivering. "But if we try this and it doesn't work, I don't want it to ruin our friendship."
Max reached for my hand, the touch of his fingers reassuring. "We've been through a lot together," he said, his gaze unwavering. "We can handle anything."
With that, we embarked on a new chapter, our friendship evolving into a romantic relationship. The weight of unspoken emotions lifted, allowing us to be our true selves around each other, without the fear of losing the connection we had nurtured for so long.
As the years rolled by, we navigated the ups and downs of life together. Max faced challenges in his racing career, but I was always there to support him, just as he had been there for me. We both graduated from college, securing jobs in our respective fields, all the while never letting go of the love that had blossomed between us.
Now, at the age of 24, we sat side by side in the grandstands, our eyes fixed on the racing track. Max had made it to his first F1 championship race, a moment we had both dreamt of since we were kids. The tension in the air was palpable, the excitement electric.
And then, it happened—Max emerged victorious, clutching the coveted trophy. Tears of joy welled up in my eyes as I watched him celebrate his hard-earned triumph.
"I couldn't have done this without you," Max said, his arm wrapped around me, his voice filled with gratitude.
"I'm so proud of you," I replied, pressing a kiss to his cheek, my heart swelling with pride.
As we watched the other drivers celebrate on the track below, Max turned to me, his eyes filled with a depth of emotion that words could hardly capture.
"You know," he began, his voice soft but resolute, "I never would have made it this far without you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
I smiled, the gratitude and love I felt for Max filling every corner of my heart. Our journey had been a tumultuous one, shaped by the challenges we had faced and the unbreakable bond that had carried us through. From a chance encounter on a karting track to the heights of an F1 championship, we had weathered every storm together. Max Verstappen had not only become a champion on the track but a champion of my heart, and I couldn't imagine a life without him by my side.
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chlerc · 19 days
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consequences of nothing ; jude bellingham
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— summary; he broke your heart last weekend, told you it would feel better this weekend but he’s here this weekend and wanting you to patch him up.
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pairings — jude bellingham x kinda-casual-fling-f. reader! ( third person story )
word count — 1420.
content — angst, a lot of angst (i think???) ALCOHOL consumption on jude’s side, please be aware! drunk and injured jude rambling about loving her, wanting her to fix him up but he’s just a selfish man.
NAVIGATION + author’s note: this was supposed to be a drabble but i guess it’s a slightly extended version. i love the angst and jude combination also there’s no part 2’s to this!
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LOUD, INCESSANT AND URGENT knocks were not what she expected to be hearing at half past two in the morning on a Friday night. The thud of a body against the door of her apartment drew her closer towards the visitor beyond the other side of the door. Knocks there came thrice, strong and loud, and so the door was opened wide.
His tall figure towering over her, arm rested on the door frame. Dry blood is apparent on the right corner of his lips, a gash above his eyebrow on the left with another right at his nose bridge along with purple splotches on his cheek. “Jude…” Her words came out barely a whisper from her lips, concern clearly laced in her voice.
She hates doing this, all this after last weekend but she stepped aside for him to enter. His eyes looked hazy from all the alcohol consumption but he strutted to the couch of an apartment he was too familiar with. In the light that flows water-like through the windows of the old bank, Jude strips off his topmost layer. On each arm there are great purple welts that will only deepen over the coming week.
Against his skin they were grotesque, but Jude knew how lucky he was not to have broken bones — then what would he do? Miss training and matches, explaining to the media he was under the influence of alcohol that night and got engrossed in a fight?
“Those are outrageous Jude, what were you doing? You reek of alcohol, should you be drinking this much?” She’s leaning by the dining table, eyes running over the state he had been in. He only shrugs his shoulders in response, clearly brushing her off. “You shouldn’t be here, go to the hospital and get everything checked out, Jude. I’m not a nurse, I can’t help you in this situation.”
But when he’s staring right into her eyes, his eyes are so different in moments like these, more soft than she knew eyes could be. The professional man is gone and instead it is the eyes of one who loves deeply. If it were anyone else she would drop her gaze, but with him she was drawn in closer, always wanting more. Never getting more.
“I know, but I want you to help me.” He threw the cotton swabs her way, the cream in his grasp. “That’s not what you said last week, Jude.” He winces at her response yet acting like it was from her application of the cream and the contact with his open wound. “Hey, would you be more gentle? This actually hurts more than I thought.”
She giggles and it’s like he felt better right at hearing the sound of her giggle knowing that he was the reason behind it. “I’m sorry.” His apology was short and sweet, with no further elaboration but they both knew what’s wrong. “Forget it Jude, I’ll be better this way.”
Being away from him and living her own life — better that way? That wasn’t what he wanted when he said all those last week though, not even close. “Better off without me?” He chuckles, an eyebrow cocked from the bandage she stuck on. “Who got you injured this badly, you didn’t even get to play with the suspension?”
She was avoiding the question and he knew it yet honestly who would ever open the door and clean his wounds up after all he did and said. “It’s complicated, you haven’t answered my question.” Jude mumbles, swatting her hand away from the overbearing pain from the cut on his nose.
“Yeah, better off without you. Better off you breaking my heart last week and telling me I’d feel better by this weekend but you’re here this weekend. You’re here nearing three in the morning for me to treat your wounds that I don’t even know how you got them. You’re here though you walked out on me screaming your name.” Tears came as if her pain had at last condensed into a deluge of rain, running her fingers through her strands while rambling.
“All those things I said and did last weekend, I didn’t mean them,” His voice wavered, choking as he swallowed. “All week I awaited your phone calls, texts and everything else from you. I left a voicemail and messages for you to call me back when you get a minute.” Jude was reasoning like everything he did was justifiable, feigning his anger over her actions.
“Go ahead, blame it all on me for not replying or calling back. You find it in your own heart if you’d ever have the guts to do all that after the woman you loved led you on and asked you to leave her alone.” She pokes her finger at his chest, each action hard enough to push him back.
“Led you on? I never did that.” Jude huffs, rubbing the cream on his arm by himself. “You never led me on? You also never gave a clear signal if you wanted me, never said if we were together. You don’t get to show up at my house and say all this, Jude.” Her arms are now on her waist as she stood up from the arm of the couch she was sitting on, hair all tousled from her fingers running through them.
“I literally could go wherever I want but just not home, home with all the remnants and reminders of you.” He’s looking into her eyes, tears welled up behind his eyes with each word he uttered and he barely cried at everything else. Neither of them could ever believe he was there, tears in his eyes while trying to get the girl back. “We’re getting nowhere going back and forth with this, Jude. You should head home, you’re probably just under the influence and will regret saying all this tomorrow.”
“I swear I’m literally sober m’ love, please don’t do this to me. I swear I’ll make everything alright, I’ll make everything okay just give me a chance.” Hearing her nickname roll from his tongue effortlessly was a stab in her heart, heart swelling from his words while she bit on her lower lip. “You never really cared about the way everything that turned out Jude, you didn’t wanna fall in love. I thought I had you figured out but you’re just looking out for yourself.”
“But I do love you, please trust me I really do. I know I smell like alcohol and all but I swear I’m sober. And I know that’s the last thing you wanna hear right now, that I love you. I promise I’ll be back tomorrow and give you time to think about it or just sleep it off.” She thought that she was dreaming when she heard him say that he loved her, watching him grab the leather jacket while he tugged himself sluggishly towards the door.
“Also, these rough punches were from Vini and the others. I told them to get me so battered so I could come here for you to patch me up like you always do. Should’ve told him to lay it off but it’s worth it. Goodnight m’ love, remember to lock the door after I leave.” There’s a slight lifting of his lips on one end as he gazes over his shoulders to look at her, throwing a thumbs up before walking out and closing the door behind.
And when he walked out that door tonight, he left his heart with her to meddle with. But if it all ended tomorrow, would she still be the one on his mind? Would she still be the one he wanted if the sun refused to shine? Would he still want her there? He wouldn’t. Jude never cared for anyone else but him and his career, those were just words and actions laced with the effect of the alcohol or the punches thrown at him earlier.
These were just consequences of the nothing he wanted to turn into something. At the end of the day, he’s the one wincing about the nothing that was never something when questioned about it. And those were the words he told her and everyone else — that they were never something.
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