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#i have no doubts they cared about pad at one point
almondmilkcleanser · 2 months
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”𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘨𝘶𝘺, 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳?” — GETO
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“𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐑”
■ ` ♡ characters / fandom ; f!reader x geto suguru
■ ` ♡ tw ; begging ; dominance ; dirty talk ; cumming inside + more ;MINORS DNI
■ ` ♡ word count ; 3k+
He knew your family’s apprehensions with jujutsu sorcerers but you didn't care. You wanted to maintain this friendship because the bond you and him shared was valuable. Inseparable. You didnt care what would happen in the future because when your doubts circulated in your head, you went back to that fateful day at the grocery store when you two met.
“Hm, my name’s Geto. Yours?”
”Ah!” You blushed. “Y/N.” You suddenly remembered how to speak a comprehensible language as you picked up the grapes you spilled on the floor running into him,
”Y/N. Yes, that’s it.”
A friendship is what you valued the most. But sooner than later, other feelings began to surface for Geto.
“Ahhhh, exams are so annoying!” You threw your hands down in defeat. Rocking yourself back and forth on the swings, you began to vent about all the studying you had to do in preparation for the next semester of college. Geto sat there, attentive to you as he popped his light blue popsicle in his mouth.
“I’m sure you’re going to do well on the exams. You always study hard. Harder than I ever will, to be quite honest.”
”Geto!” You protested. “That’s no fair. Yes you don’t have to book study but you can,” you lowered your voice into a whisper as you frantically waved your arms and hands in a ghostly manner.
“You know! You know? That. You can do that.” You crossed your arms and looked off at a couple walking down the sidewalk. The girl had her arm linked in the guy’s as they happily shared their food together. The guy brushed the girl’s hair out of her face and kissed her on the forehead, instantly making the girl blush.
Somberly, you looked down, kicking a stray rock out the way as you clenched the chains of the swing. When you looked up, Geto was staring directly at you, the popsicle’s juices streaming down his hand and down his wrist.
You broke the stare-off with a blush but Geto broke the silence.
”You don’t want this power. Trust me.”
”What do you-“ before you could finish your sentence, the chains of the swing rattled, signifying Geto getting up to walk away.
”I’m leaving. I’ll see you tomorrow. Same place as Monday.”
Verbally you didn’t respond but you kept a mental note for yourself.
Suddenly, tinge of bravery snuck up your spine. You pulled out your phone and text Geto:
Let’s meet at the Bread Bun cafe for sweets.
You knew this was a hotspot for couples, but you thought that a little friend date wouldn’t hurt anything.
A few seconds passed, and Geto replied with a thumbs up.
”Ah! Yes!” You cheered so loud that you scared a nearby cat, causing it to hiss and scatter away.
You were more dressed up than usual today. Nervously, you re-applied your lipgloss as you waited for Geto to decide what he wanted from the Cafe. The waitress nervously circled back and forth to your table for 30 minutes before deciding to give up on being persistent. If you were ready you would call them at this point.
“Hmmm, everything here sounds so… sweet.” No shit, Geto! “Do they have any soba?”
“I think they have a regular food menu, you just have to ask for it.”
Without an extra word, he raised his hand and the giddy waitress walked over with pen and pad in hand.
”Are you two ready to or-“
”I’d like something off the regular menu, please. Zara Soba, with a side of barley tea.” He handed the dumbfounded waitress his menu and looked over at you with a curious glance.
”Still not sure?” He wasn’t in a rush, but he knew you liked your pastries and chocolates. You nervously fidgeted with the menu before finally deciding.
”Just a chocolate mousse pastry puff and milk tea, please.”
Geto smirked and leaned back into his seat.
”You’re never really one to lighten up on the sweets.” He teased. “Normally you can order three of these miniature things and go back for seconds.” You scoffed at his analysis. “But, if you’re trying to lose weight that’s fine too. Doesn’t bother me either way.” And there was that reassuring smile that made your heart quiver.
“Geto-“ you tried to open your mouth to say more, but the waitress was back in no time. She placed your pastry on the table first.
”Your soba will be out in a second, it’ll just be an ext-“
”That’s fine, I’ll pay the extra. Not really a sweets person, y’know.” He looked up at the waitress with an embarrassed smile, making her blush.
You picked at your pastry bashfully, focusing elsewhere to hide your own flush.
Halfway through your pastry and ¼ of the easy through his soba, Geto cleared his throat.
”This place is very… romantic. More romantic than our usual meet up spots.” He leaned his elbow on the table and looked at you curiously.
”Finally letting go of the need to keep your parents happy?”
”That’s not it-“ You had to think of a lie quickly! “I just wanted to try this spot and none of my other friends could come with me.”
He chuckled. “So, I’m the afterthought now? Jeez and I thought we were friends-“
”That’s not it, Geto. I-“ you lowered your head, trying your best to gather the words.
“I- “
”Hm? What is it?” He was getting more and more confused by your behavior. You were fine in the beginning for months but as time went on he noticed how you fumbled over your words more, how you would blush easily, and now-
“Its just- “ you took a breath and looked into his eyes.
“There’s someone I like and I don’t know how to- you know…”
Geto’s eyes shot up.
“You don’t?-“
Was he really falling for this? You shook your head back and forth.
”No- A- and I need a guy’s advice on what to do.”
”Just fuck him. It’s not that hard-“
”Geto! Don’t be so loud-“ you whispered, eyes darting back and forth to make sure nobody heard you.
He leaned back into his seat and eyed you curiously. His eyebrow cocked upwards and his lips curved into a small, pondering frown.
“We’re friends, right?” He couldn’t say no but he couldn’t say yes either. “Just, give me some pointers, okay? I- I really like him and I want to make a good impression.”
He twisted his lips back and forth for what felt like ages before taking a deep breath.
“Fine. Now let me finish my soba.”
”You’re paying.” He added matter of factly.
”Wah?!”
For the next few weeks, you and Geto would bounce ideas and tips off eachother on what to do, how to approach a guy, how to flirt, cooking tips, the list goes on and on. Geto would ask from time to time when he would meet this mystery guy but you found an excuse every time.
You took a bolder approach, inviting him to public libraries and even back to your house a few times. He would show you how to cook a few meals and you even modeled a few outfits for him. A lot which… he thought were lackluster at best.
But you didn’t care. You spent more intimate time with Geto that you secretly craved. So much, that you decided to take it a step further.
Knock knock knock!
You opened the tower in your robe, still dabbing your hair dry with a spare towel. Geto stood there, eyebrows raised at your casual appearance.
“Should I wait outs-“
”Don’t be stupid, Geto. Come in.”
He kicked off his shoes, flopped on the couch and stretched his limbs, still eyeing you behind your back as you shuffled back into the kitchen. He sniffed the air, feeling saliva pool in his mouth.
”What are you cooking?” He asked. “It smells good.”
”Flank beef and Miso soup.”
“What’s the occasion?” You shrugged your shoulders while stirring the pot of white rice. You didn’t have much in mind, instead you motioned with your body first and decided that today would be the day you made an attempt.
An attempt at him physically showing you how to please a man.
“Geto.” You called out. “Can you come here for a second?” He was just about to turn on the TV when you called. With a sigh, he tossed the remote and walked into the kitchen.
“Try this.” You pooled some broth into your ladle and held it to his mouth. You didn’t realize how tall he was in comparison to your height! He had to hold your wrist and guide the ladle up to his lips so you don’t pour it on his collarbone!
”Its good. Add a little water to cut the salt and you’re fine.”
“Good.” You turned back to stir the pot for a few seconds before speaking up again.
”One more thing.” You started. Geto leaned against the counter with a curious look on his face. What was it that you wanted? He had to make excuses as to why he was going into town so much and everyone knew Gojo was only going to take so many of his “Negative Energy quests.”
”So.. I wanted to ask you another favor.”
”Another favor? You must want to be in debt to me forever.” You both laughed.
“Not exactly..” you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. Now or never, Y/N! Now- or- never!
”I just wanted another lesson.”
”Oh?” He scratched his head and stood up straight. “What lesson?”
”Um-“ you swallowed. “I want you to show me how to please a man.”
”Me?!” He jumped back.
”Would you rather me go on a forum and find someone?!” You squeaked. “Please, Geto-“
”But what about-“
”I want to practice so I can be confident in my skills!” You blurted out, face ablaze.
”Ah- Y/N… Why don’t you try it with him then?”
”Because,” you stammered. “I really like him and I don’t want to mess up my chances with him. He’s so handsome and cool and I really enjoy spending time with him and- and-“
Geto reached forward, pulling your hand towards him.
“Sigh… Y/N. Don’t lie.” His eyes burned into yours, making you squirm. Your robe was beginning to open but he didn’t budge an inch as your chest grew more and more exposed.
”You could have just said you wanted to date me. I promise I’m not that hard to please.”
”Stupid!” You blushed, trying to break free. “How do you even think I’m talking about you?”
With a smirk, he pointed at the kitchen counter at a picture of him with a pink heart drawn around his face.
”Guh!” stupid stupid stupid!
”Well,” you looked down, wishing you could turn into liquid and evaporate from the embarrassment.
”What now?”
”Well,” he chuckled. “You wanted a lesson, here’s the first one.” And without announcement, he pulled you up by your chin and interlocked his lips with yours.
You were splayed out on your couch, robe open and legs positioned on Geto’s shoulders. He removed his school jacket and threw it on the floor next to your underwear to give him a full access to your begging cunt.
He suckled on your lips, motioning his tongue up and down the slit of your pink pussy. He would tease you, switching between your clit and prodding your entrance with the tip of his tongue just for him to lap his tongue across the entirety of your beautiful pussy over and over again. Your body broke out into a sweat as the riptides of pleasure cascaded through your body. You would try unsuccessfully to close your legs, just to have them opened wider by Geto. His eyes focused intently on yours as he continued to feast on you, suckling your juices dry like a starved man in the desert.
“Oh, God, Geto!” You pinched your nipples, throwing your head back and forth. You couldn’t take it, you were about to cum and you just knew he could feel it. Taking it up a notch, he guided two of his fingers inside of you, hooking down and pumping back and forth.
He didn’t break his focus on you. His tongue flicked back and forth on your clit as the pace of his fingers increased in speed. This is just what you fantasized about for months and now- and now-
“Guyahhhh!” Your squeals turned animalistic as you reached your peak. You tried to close your legs, but Geto planted both of his elbows on your legs, leaving your sticky, glistening pussy wide open for him to see. A clear stream of liquid poured down your legs and onto the couch as your climaxed surged through your body. Just when you thought it was over, Geto would graze his thumb ever so gently across your throbbing clit, making you whine out loud.
Removing his fingers from inside of you, he slurped up your viscous substance with a smile.
”What exactly did you need me to show you?” He chuckled. “By the way your pussy gets, you don’t need my help at all.”
”Sh- shut up, Geto.” Your breath was ragged and your hair was wildly splayed across your face. You attempted to get up, but Geto got between your legs again, this time planting a kiss on your lips. You could taste yourself, a mixture of sweat and your juices swimming down your throat with his tongue.
“Hold on to me.” He growled. You wrapped your arms around his neck without protest and he in turn sat where you just laid, kissing your neck and chest hungrily.
He threw your robe to the floor, caressing your hips and lower back with care as you sat on top of him, fully naked and vulnerable.
”You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Kiss. “I had a feeling you had a crush on me, but I’m glad you told me today.”
He tipped your chin upwards with his nose to give him more space to devour your neck with his lips. Leaving random love marks across the sides of your neck, the base of your neck and your collarbones. Your body was on fire but you couldn’t move. You were enmeshed onto him and didn’t want to move.
He unzipped his pants and pulled out his dick. It was veiny, long, and thick. You could see the pre-cum sliding down the tip of his penis and it made your mouth water.
“Are you a virgin?” He bit at your neck, making you hiss. “Don’t lie.”
”Shhh- No- I’m not.” You pulled on his shirt, massaging his muscular chest underneath his shirt.
”Take it.” You begged. You could feel his large hand massing your ass, casually slipping his thumb around the rim of your ass to keep you stimulated
“Take it, you say?” He lifted your hips up with care, guiding you down the length of his throbbing dick with a hiss and suck of his teeth.
”I’ll fucking take it. Give it to me.” He bounced you up and down, making you go deeper and deeper the more you came down on the length of his girth. Your hips and ass slapped atop his thighs as the pace increased and your body grew a mind of its own. You felt him curve at the base of your cervix but you continued to bounce, you continued to grind, you continued to please him.
You pussy creamed down the entirety of his shaft, staining the zipper of his pants but neither you or him cared. You have never been turned on by a guy like this before. Geto’s strong hands paired your hands behind your back, latching his tongue onto your nipple and suckling with passion.
He was hungry for you just like you were for him.
Your mind was mush and your body was hot. He continued to plant kisses and love bites across your body, throwing his head back at random when your pussy felt completely euphoric to him.
You two were close, especially you. Taking it upon yourself, you pulled his hair, making him look up at you. His eyes narrowed, burning an intense lust back at you, signaling for you to take control. You pushed your lips onto him, your tongues dancing back and forth as you bounced vigorously on top of him. When you were at the head of your climax, he pushed you down, keeping you there. Breaking the kiss, he growled in your ear as his seed filled you up deep.
”Fuuuuuuuck! Y/N. I didn’t think you could make me get like this.” You could pat yourself on the back for that compliment. Kissing your neck, he turned you back around so you could lay on the couch, taking off his pants and throwing them on the floor as well.
”I’m going to finish dinner,” he smoothed your hair down and out of your face, smiling in accomplishment at your flushed, fucked silly, sleepy face. You could feel his seed seeping out of you and onto the couch but you couldn’t even catch your breath. Your pussy was still throbbing from the intense session shared between you two and you were seeing stars. Did this really happen?
“And after,” he kissed your forehead again, a devilish smile spreading across his face.
”I’m going to fuck you again in your shower. I already have a doctor’s note for your job in the morning so we can fuck again in the morning.”
”You want to make a great first impression with your mystery guy, remember?”
END.
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its-time-to-write · 10 months
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hi! Could you please write something with like reader opening the door one day when Roy stars knocking for training but reader and Jamie aren’t open about their relationship yet? I think it would be cute xx
I also thought this was cute. Not sure if anyone notices/cares, but all my titles are song lyrics based ever so loosely on the vibe I am trying to convey. Thanks for another great request!
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what it is
Someone’s aggressively knocking on the door and as you roll over to check the time. It’s 4am, and you poke Jamie who is fast asleep beside you.
“Babe,” you whisper, “someone’s at the door.”
Jamie groans and mumbles something incoherent. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can tell something’s off. You reach out your hand and feel his forehead. It’s burning up.
The knocking continues and Jamie lets out another groan and says something that sounds like raining? Oh. Training. You remember he trains every morning at 4, but you’ve never seen who he goes with. He just kisses you in your sleep and is back right as you wake up for the day. 
You roll out of bed, grab one his sweatshirts from the floor, and pad downstairs to the door.
You swing open the door mid-knock. The man on the other side lowers his fist, looks at you all squinty for a moment, then says, “Who the fuck’re you?”
You return the look. “I live here. Who the fuck are you?”
The man scoffs. “No, you fucking don’t. This is Jamie Tartt’s house. Jesus fucking Christ, is he fucking blowing off training because of a fucking one-night stand?”
Oh. You know who this is. This is Roy Kent. You didn’t know he was the one training Jamie, but you guess it makes sense based on how much Jamie talks about him. It’s Roy Kent this, and Roy Kent that, and Roy says I need to eat more protein, and Roy said my hair looked funny today, does it look funny to you? 
You sigh. You and Jamie have been together for three months, and you basically live at his house. You’re really only at your flat to change clothes. You have a toothbrush, pajamas, and half a wardrobe at Jamie’s. Your books have started to make their way onto his shelves too, as you read them and then leave them for him to start. That was a little bit of an accident at first, after you left This Side of Paradise one night and came back to a different bookmark on page 34.
Anyway, Roy Kent doesn’t know you’re dating Jamie, or that anyone is. You suppose in his mind, Jamie is happily single, fucking around like the twenty-something year old footballer he is. 
Roy is still looking at you expectantly, so say, “I do live here. Why don’t you come in?” and hold open the door a bit wider. 
Roy’s face says fuck it, and he follows you inside to the kitchen. 
“Can I get you some tea?” you ask quietly, although Jamie can sleep through anything. 
Roy seems surprised by the question, but says, “Yeah, sure,” as he stands by the kitchen island.
“Jamie’s sick,” you say. “He’s still asleep upstairs. I doubt he’ll be up for training today.”
“Right, yeah,” says Roy, “I’m sorry, but who the fuck are you? Jamie’s not fucking supposed to be doing the whole one-night stand thing, he told me it’s too fucking distracting from training.”
You chuckle. “That’s comedy gold right there. Yeah, no, I’m not a one-night stand. I’m his girlfriend.”
Roy’s impressive eyebrows lift in shock, and you laugh again and give him your name. “Didn’t know I existed, did you? I’m not one for crowds or a big fuss. I told Jamie if we made it four months than he could start telling people. He was a little upset, but,” you shrug, “no point in making it a big deal if we just break up, right?”
You can practically see the wheels turning in Roy’s brain as he does the math.
“So you’re telling me that you’ve been fucking dating this little prick for three fucking months, and he hasn’t fucking said anything?”
You nod. 
“Fuckkk,” Roy whispers, “that makes so much fucking sense.”
You quirk an eyebrow at him.
“He’s been less of a prick recently,” Roy explains, “More considerate, been carrying around fucking books and shit. Not fucking flirting with everything that fucking moves. Thought maybe he was just taking beating Zava too fucking seriously.”
You nod and move to pour the tea. You and Roy both turn as you hear footsteps coming down the stairs. It’s Jamie, who is wearing a headlamp, pajama shirt, athletic vest, and a single sock. And, thank God, pants.
“Ready for training coach,” he says with a salute, but the action almost makes him fall over. He looks all pale and sweaty, with bags under his eyes.
“Told you he was sick,” you say.
“Fuckin’ hell,” is all Roy can come up with.
Jamie seems to notice you for the first time and breaks out into a smile. “Roy! Look! I have a girlfriend,” he says, words a little slurred while pointing to you.
It’s punctuated by a “Jesus Christ,” from Roy as Jamie wobbles, unsteady on his feet from his fever.
“Alright, mister,” you say. “Back to bed.”
Jamie frowns. “Always so mean,” he says. He does an imitation of your voice, “No Jamie, you can’t tell Roy about us. Yes Jamie, I know Roy’s your best friend. No Jamie, I don’t think you love Roy more than me.” He looks at Roy as you sling his arm around your shoulders, supporting him at his waist. He puts his fingertips on your lips as he says, “See what I have to put up with?”
You roll your eyes and suppress a smile as Roy says, “What you have to put up with?”
Jamie is so loopy right now. He lays his head on yours and smiles again. “Look at this. Me two favorite people, finally meeting. You should stay for dinner, coach.”
Roy rolls his eyes and shakes his head. You can tell he’s trying not to laugh as you both mutually decide not to point out that it is now 4:30am and dinner is a long, long way away.
“Let’s go get you out of those clothes and into bed,” you say as you start to lead him back to your room. 
Jamie casts a look back at Roy and wiggles his eyebrows. “Babe, you can’t just say things like that in front of granddad. Might give him a heart attack. Old people are such prudes.”
“Go to sleep, Tartt,” Roy says. He looks at you and says softly, “I can see myself out.”
You smile and wave with your free hand. “It was nice to meet you,” you say. “Hopefully we can meet again under more normal circumstances.”
Roy nods once and does what you think is a smile? He turns and heads out the door as you maneuver Jamie upstairs. Jamie Tartt has a girlfriend. And a good one at that. What is the world coming to?
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delirious-donna · 1 month
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Expensive Taste [Extra Drabble]
Your best friend lets you crash at her place over the spring break since you have nowhere else to go. Little did you know that it isn't actually her place. Instead, it belongs to a tall (grumpy) hot guy who finds you in his apartment–her brother
an: I love added detail and I wondered what reader would get up to now she is aware of who’s bedroom she is standing in. If anyone is curious about the watch mentioned, the link to it is here for visual reference.
pairing: Nanami Kento x reader
warnings: none at all
Series Masterlist
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“C’mon c’mon,” you muttered to yourself, listening to the incessant ringing in your ear. The line clicked over to voicemail. You cursed loudly, tossing your phone onto the plush bed. A bed that wasn’t yours, not even temporarily.
Your fingers tightened into the fluffy white towel fixed around your chest, a sense of guilt settling in your gut. It was ridiculous. You didn’t know you were in someone’s home. Blowing out a long breath, you spun on the spot. There were details you missed on first entering the room, and finding them now only made you feel foolish.
Set upon the right-hand nightstand was a black leather organiser with an expensive-looking watch displayed next to a retro alarm clock. You padded closer, bending to examine the timepiece without touching it and blinked rapidly as you came face to face with an Omega watch.
Shit, those were expensive.
You didn’t dare to touch the steel links, only admired the yellow-gold detail and navy blue face from a safe distance whilst telling yourself not to pick up your phone and find out just how much money these would set someone back. It wasn’t any of your business. None at all.
Dressing with little care, you hopped around the room to pull your leggings up and caught sight of yourself in the floor-length mirror. What a situation to be in. You couldn’t decide if this was the plot of some rom-com or a horror movie, at this point, it could go either way. Even knowing that your instincts told you to trust him. If he had wanted to cause you harm, then his best opportunity had blown right by.
Suppressing a smile, you remembered how mortified he had looked once the realisation had set in. The look of a man who did not have a clue what to do and that only endeared you to him despite the unsavouriness of the situation.
You fixed your hair into a loose ponytail, thankful that only the ends were wet with your untimely splashing session in the bath, and that’s when you spied the inset doorway to the left of the mirror.
Curiosity killed the cat, or so the saying goes.
Maybe it wasn’t a good quality of yours, this inability to resist temptation, but an open entryway wasn’t snooping, was it? You weren’t rifling through his drawers or looking at anything not openly on display. That was your argument, and you were sticking to it.
“Goddamn…”
For the second time this day, you spun a full 360 in what turned out to be an immaculate walk-in closet. Had you spied this earlier, there would have been no doubt in your mind that this place belonged to a man and a wealthy one at that.
The racks were neatly arranged into categories, with shirts of white, navy, black and grey hung with pristine creases highlighted in the sleeves and the cuffs and collars starched. Another housed trousers with matching jackets in the section next to them. You reached out tentatively, fingertips brushing against the thick expensive fabric. Just how much money did this guy earn?
One thing you noticed was that the area reserved for what you would consider casual attire was remarkably sparse. A few thin-knit sweaters hung with care. A pile of folded t-shirts stacked beneath and one pair of folded light blue denim jeans. Workout shorts and a few Under Armour compression shirts finished your perusal of the more than generous space.
Each item spoke of luxury, of an indulgence in the finer things in life but it did not necessarily strike you as excess. You gathered that everything in here held a purpose, be it to dress to impress at work or get the most from a workout. Nothing seemed like the kind of impulse buys that you were guilty of on the odd occasions you felt flush with money. Whether it was your place or not, it spoke to something within you, and you liked that he was indulgent where it counted.
You didn’t dare to open the drawers beneath, scared to death of what you might find—underwear mostly likely. Instead, you scurried back into the bedroom, terrified that he might return if you took too long.
It would be a lie to deny you were curious about him. He was far from old enough to be Karin’s father, a brother perhaps? You worried your bottom lip with your teeth, eyebrows pinched at the thought you might not know your friend as well as you assumed.
The man had an immaculate taste, but you very much got the impression that he was a workaholic. Even from the brief time you had spent together in the steamy bathroom, the fatigue was evident on his face. He could use a vacation most likely.
With that thought in mind, you went in search of the man in question. Several outcomes were jostling in your brain for attention, and all you hoped was that it wouldn’t end with you out on the streets with nowhere to go.
This Nanami Kento wouldn’t be so heartless, would he?
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bnuyy2 · 5 months
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The First Snow
Gn! Reader x Masc! Fave
Synopsis: Your lover wakes to find the bed cold. He doesn't need to look long to find you seated at the window sill watching as the world goes white.
Word Count: 641
Warnings: fluff, domesticity, no pronouns for reader
Note: this is really short and just came to me as i was falling asleep like idk where this came from anyways i wrote this with many characters in mind, particularly the ones who are a little grumpy and jaded but so full of love 🩵
Something had woken you out of your sleep, and you opened your eyes to face the window.
It took you a moment to realise the brightness did not come from the sun rising at 1 o’clock in the morning, but from the street lights illuminating the sparkling snow layered on nearly every surface. You are careful not to wake your lover as you raise yourself from the bed and pad over to the scene, seating yourself on the wide windowsill to watch the cascading bits of fluff up close.
You had only meant to be away from bed for a moment, but you were thoroughly captivated and stuck in place. It took just a few minutes for the man you’d left behind to begin unconsciously searching for your warmth, scooching his body closer to your side and reaching out his arm.
When he realises there is none to find, he begrudgingly opens an eye in search of you, and finds your form sitting entirely too far away from him. He quietly grunts your name which coaxes a hum from you, but you don't face him.
"Come back to me," He mumbles, his eye drifting closed again as he awaits what he hopes will be your swift return to his side.
"In a minute," You respond, and there is no way he can sleep now.
He sighs, lifting himself from the mattress and trudging over to the ledge where you sit pressed against the cool glass, pulling close a chair to sit by you. Now you turn your attention to him and smile.
His hair is tousled in a way that only you are allowed to see, and though he would never admit it, his mouth has formed a pout. You reach your hand out to caress his cheek, and your smile grows as he snuggles his face into your palm, his stubble mildly abrasive on your skin.
"It's snowing," You quietly point out, and he nods. Only you thought in his exhaustion he wouldn't have noticed.
"Hurts my eyes," He mumbles, and you can feel his lips move against your hand, supple and warm. The brightness of the snow would surely sting eyes just woken from sleep.
You lean down and kiss his eyelids to soothe the ache, and he huffs a sigh from deep in his chest. When you straighten up again, you see the corners of his mouth have lifted a bit into a small grin.
"It looks lovely though," You reason, turning your eyes back towards the window.
He watches you, the shirt you slept in slipping to expose more of your shoulder. He sees the content look of your glowing face and your eyes sparkling with wonder.
"Yes. Very lovely."
Eventually he does move his gaze from you to the rest of the world, watching the first glimpse of winter.
From this, he sees roads made more difficult, a driveway that will need shovelling, and skin chapped with cold, and he doesn't doubt you are aware of those things as well.
What he loves about you is the space you make for beauty, letting your appreciation for it cushion you from whatever hurts may come. He has begun to learn to do so through you, his greatest beauty.
He will carry your sweet concerned voice in his mind as he drives with care and let you fret over his large frozen hands when he comes inside, frantically rubbing them between your own in an attempt to warm them before you go to fix him a hot drink. He also loves to see how your eyelashes catch the frost, and the endearing traditions you indulge in for the season.
"My love," You whisper. He had fallen asleep with his head on your thigh. You pat his hair down as you watch him shift at the sound of your voice.
"Let's go to bed."
You rise from the window sill and he lets you take his hand to return to each other's arms. There will be time enough to experience the pains and joys of winter in the morning.
205 notes · View notes
meowzfordayz · 2 months
Text
stressed — zenitsu, kyojuro, sanemi
Author’s Note: you ARE enough❣️ You ARE loved❣️ You WILL be okay❣️
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stressed — zenitsu, kyojuro, sanemi
Agatsuma Zenitsu x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader
Word Count: ~700
CW: none
Emergency Request Fulfilled: I started taking a lot harder classes this year and it’s killing me and my impostor syndrome because I’m so slow compared to everyone else. It’s making me depressed/stressed so I wanted to request a pick me up request.
stressed — enmu, genya, muichiro
~faqs~
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Lowkey gets stressed too 🙃
Does his best to hide it, but Zenitsu’s an open book, so it doesn’t stay hidden for long
Sometimes he’ll even sense your stress before you do
“Are you okay Zeni? You seem stressed.”
“I’m fine!” ☺️
*realization hits*
Zenitsu: Are you stressed? 🥺
You: Nooo, you’re stressed! 😒
Zenitsu: But I’m not? 🥲
You: Well your stress is stressing me out! 😖
Zenitsu: But I’m not stressed?! 🫠
*insert Spiderman meme here*
Affirmations
Once you’ve determined that you’re both adequately stressed 💀😂
Zenitsu brings out ✨The Jar of Affirmation✨
Aka your equivalent of scrolling through cheesy, inspirational social media posts when you’re feeling low
Zenitsu: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! 😍
You: YOU ARE CAPABLE! 😎
Zenitsu: YOU ARE SMART! 🤓
You: YOU ARE DETERMINED! 😤
It’s kinda cathartic to yell/be yelled at, y’know? 🥰😆
Lovingly, ofc
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Your stress hits close to home for Kyojuro (imposter syndrome, inadequacy), but he’s unsure how to support you
Which is not to say that he doesn’t try
Bc he does try, a lot and often 🥺
But a pin pricking feeling that he isn’t quite cut out for comforting you frequently surfaces
“I can order takeout and build a pillow fort for us to watch a movie in together? Would that be okay?”
Your stress fades to a gentle, manageable pulse as Kyojuro’s tender doubt gnaws at your chest, your arms hugging him into your warmth as you murmur softly
“That would be absolutely perfect. Thank you for taking care of me.”
He still questions his ability to ease your burdens as you snuggle into his side, plastic containers and utensils spread out on the fluffy blanket beneath you, a thin canopy of cotton sheet and fairy lights billowing above
Could I have decorated better? 😕
Why did I make us sit on the floor?! 😞
But he allows himself a lingering, adoring smile when you begin making airplane noises, happily opening his mouth to accept your forkful of pad Thai
“I love you!” you grin, darting in to peck his nose
“I wuv y’u too!” he declares, the tips of his ears as red as his heart
He’s convinced that pad Thai’s never tasted so delicious
Knows your favorite snacks better than he knows himself, and won’t hesitate to walk to the corner store to buy you a lil snick snack
“Kyo, it’s almost midnight. I’m fine.” 😝
“Your stomach rumbled.” ☹️
“I can eat in the morning.”
“Fine.” 
“I shall wait until midnight, at which point it will be morning.” 😎
“What if I fall asleep before you get back?”
“Then I guess you will most certainly eat in the morning.” 😌
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Doesn’t let you lift a finger, sometimes to the extent that your stress morphs to anger 🤪
“I said I was stressed, not incapable.” 😐
“Me helping you is a testament of my love, not a commentary on your ability.” 🤨
“You aren’t helping me! You’re infantilizing me!” 😖
“I in fact have not put you in a diaper nor made you suck on a pacifier.” 😃
“I will dye your hair while you’re asleep.” 😒
“Would a spa day reduce your stress?”
“No, but watching your reaction to waking up with green hair would.” 😌
“If you somehow manage to dye my hair without waking me up, then I guess I deserve it.” 🙃
“Could you at least let me wash my dishes? Or put toothpaste on my own toothbrush?” 😕
“No and Yes. Okay?”
“I want to tie my shoelaces too.”
“You can do one shoe.” 😉
“Whatever.” 🙄🥰
Gets you out and about
Whether it’s joining him on a grocery run or just walking around the block
Sanemi knows a change of scenery can refresh and remove the monotony of stress
He’ll even coax you into photoshoots
“Stop. You need a picture underneath that tree.”
“Wait, the sunlight is framing your face so beautifully.”
“Let’s take a selfie together.”
Not bc he loves being your personal photographer 🥴, but bc he sees how much you brighten at his softness 🥺
Sees how happy his explicit (albeit occasionally disgruntled) affection makes you
… maybe selfies aren’t so bad after all 
107 notes · View notes
thebestofoneshots · 8 months
Text
Gilded Constellations | wolfstar x reader
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Series Masterlist | Previous episode
Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.2 K Warnings: none Prompt: As Hogwarts days begin, challenges arise, with exhilarating morning flights, and laughter filled environments. Secret struggles surface but a caring gesture from Remus and the Marauders promises to uplift spirits and forge lasting bonds. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.
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Good times
As you walked inside the Gryffindor common room for the first time Lily was sitting on the couch, but stood up the minute you showed up “There you are! I was worried sick!” She told Remus, gave James a look of disdain and turned back to the taller boy  “I thought you’d be faster to bring her here.” 
“The staircase wasn’t cooperating,” Remus explained. “We had to use a different path.” 
“At least you didn’t get caught.” She said taking a deep breath and sitting back down on the couch, now finally relaxing a bit. 
“I brought some food from the kitchens,” said Peter, pulling out a kerchief tied at the top and placing it on the table in front of the fire. “It’s just some scones with cream and jam, but I thought we might get hungry.” 
“Thanks, Pete,” Lily said as she untied the knot and the top and grabbed one of the little treats. 
Then the portrait opened again, letting someone else inside. 
You stood just behind Remus, turned towards Lily rather than the entrance but the moment you heard that voice, you froze. It's Sirius.
“Excellent job guys!” He said with a bright smile. Remus turned to him and shot a warning look, to point out they weren’t alone. Sirius saw Lily and nodded “With the evacuation of the great hall–“ he corrected “It was brilliant how you handled it, Lils, Moony, you’re both top tier prefects.” 
James rolled his eyes but then a smile appeared on his face, a very James-like smile in fact, filled with charm and mischievousness. “We’ve actually got something to show you.” He said and unexpectedly pulled you from behind Remus in a way that you’d end up facing Sirius instead. 
And damned merlin, Sirius was even more beautiful than you remembered. You’d like to think you’d made peace with the idea of being ghosted, with the idea of never seeing Sirius again, but standing right in front of him, now taller, with broader shoulders, longer hair, and the same stunning eyes, made you want to apparate to anywhere but there. So you just awkwardly smiled and waved, hoping he wouldn’t just storm out of the place without even saying a word.
“(Y/N)? What… what are you doing here?” He asked with a frown.
“Hey to you too, old pal,” you said, struggling to not sound as awkward as you felt. 
“She’s here Pads!” Said James excitedly, “She’s gonna study with us!” 
“Yeah,” Peter added, “She transferred this year like you wished she would back in the day.” 
To that you raised an eyebrow, you’d seen his friends get excited when you introduced yourself to them, but it seemed weird that after ghosting you, Sirius told his friends he wished you were a student in Hogwarts “And here I thought you’d never want to see me again,” you said with a bit of a teasing smile towards him, trying to hide the doubt that still lingered in your brain. Could it really be that it had all been some kind of misunderstanding? 
“What?” He asked, visibly confused.
“Since you never replied to any of my letters…” 
He seemed shocked for a moment and then exhaled in a defeated tone “Walburga.” 
“Your mom?” You asked frowning before it downed you “Your mom.” 
He nodded “I did always wonder why you never tried to reach out.” 
You thought about what he said for a moment and then smiled “Seems like we have a lot to catch up on then.” 
Then James placed an arm on top of Sirius's shoulder “And I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to do that, but now we must go to bed. Tomorrow we’re flying first thing in the morning. We gotta practice before we open the tryouts.”
“Which positions are you missing?” You asked him before anyone had the chance to stop you. Once James started talking about quidditch, it was hard to get him to shut up again.
“We lost a keeper and 2 chasers,” James explained “They were from 7th and graduated last summer.”
“And you fly in the mornings, always?” You asked surprised. 
“Gotta stay in top shape, I’m the captain after all.” 
“Oh, that’s amazing. Mind if I join you tomorrow? I wanna test my luck on the tryouts.” 
He raised an eyebrow “Which position?” 
“Uh… I used to play seeker,” he winced at that, “but I’ll try for keeper I guess, I’ve got good eyes for catching things,” you replied with a smile. 
“Careful Potter, she may come take your place!” Sirius teased, “All though, for all I know she might be terrible at flying.” 
With Sirius teasing you like that, it was as if all those years hadn’t gone by, no resentments, no suffering. Just the two of you, continuing on where you left off. “Oh, isn’t that right? You promised me a race a couple of years ago, but that never played out.” 
“Is that a challenge?” He asked but when you were about to reply Lily stood up and placed her arm over your shoulder. 
“Might have been,” She said “But we must now go to our room,” she said pointing at you and herself “and you must go back to sleep if you really want to wake up at 5AM.” 
“5 AM?” Frowned Sirius. 
“Classes start at 7 tomorrow, if you want enough time for flying and breakfast, you’ll have to get up then.” She said before dragging you towards the stairs.
You turned your head, finding it hard to stop staring at Sirius, it was almost like a dream. “Good night boys,” You said, waving at them as you followed behind Lily, Sirius also had a hard time to stop staring at you as you walked next to the red headed girl. 
As you were halfway up the stairs she whispered “It’s a terrible idea to challenge Sirius like that, knowing him, he’ll make a spectacle of the race.” 
You stopped for a minute, looking at Lily with a cocky grin “It’s only a bad idea if I lose.” 
She rolled her eyes with a smile “I barely know you, and so far I can tell you’re just as thick headed as that lot,” she said as she nodded towards them. “Let’s go, I’ll show you our room.” 
“We’re together?” You asked with a smile. 
She nodded, mirroring your expression “We were the only room with only 3 girls.” 
Inside the room were Mary and Marlene, Mary was sitting on her bed while reading a book and Marlene was drying her hair with a towel near a door, which you assumed would be the bathroom. “That’s your bed,” Marlene said, pointing at the bed closest to the door. “It was here when we got to the room, that’s how we figured you’d be with us.” 
“That and the trunk with your name on it,” said Mary looking up from her book “We thought you’d gotten lost in the ordeal, but Lily told us you were with Remus.” 
“We would’ve gone out to find you otherwise,” added Marlene. “Lily wanted to go even if you were with Remus but we told her you’d be alright.” 
“You wanted to go get me?” You asked, turning towards her.
“I felt responsible for leaving you on the stairs,” she explained “I didn’t want you to get in trouble because of me.” 
“Thank you,” You told her with a smile. Lily went for a shower and you started to unpack your stuff. Marlene approached you when you pulled your broom out and you talked about quidditch until Lily was out of the shower, at which point you let Marlene have the broom and went for a shower yourself. 
When you were back in the room Marlene had already placed your broom on a broom stand on the wall. “It deserved to be admired,” she’d said when you noticed and you nodded with a smile. After that, you’d all gotten comfortable in your beds and the lights were turned off.
“Good night girls,” You said with a smile, after months of feeling lonely, you finally started to feel like you belonged somewhere again. And you were so glad the hat had placed you in Gryffindor, with these girls, who had been all incredibly nice to you, and you were even happy you’d met Remus and his friends, who seemed like they would get you in so many adventures and mischief. 
In the morning you were awoken by a small little metal bird picking on your face lightly, it was your mom’s gift before you got to the school, a very elegant cuckoo clock, she’d bought at a furniture store in Diagon Alley. Even if it took you a minute to fully comprehend what was going on you silently stood up and changed, pulling a thick wool sweater over your head and a pair of training pants, thick and sturdy in case of falls. All though, because they were the same you had since you were in the team back at your older school, they were a little tighter than you remembered. Perhaps you really had a growth spurt over the summer. 
 You grabbed a pair of goggles, your broom, and sneaked out of the room without making any noise. James was already in the common room, tapping his foot as he looked up at the stairs, hair just as messy as the day you’d met him. He looked up at you and smiled. “How is it that you take less time to get ready than Sirius?” He said and then took a deep breath “I guess it  is because it’s Sirius who’s getting ready.” You raised your eyebrows in response “He’s brushing his hair,” James complained. You just laughed, longer hair’s harder to care for, but being told about Sirius’ vanity by his roommate was just hilarious. That was when Potter noticed your broom “Is that a Dark Nimbus?” He asked, staring at it from behind. 
You nodded “Brand new, mom got it for me to try and make me feel better about moving.” 
He stood up and got closer to take a look at it “It’s stunning!” He said with a smile as he accommodated his glasses to see better. “I have a Starmist,” he said pointing towards his broom behind him. “I got it last year, I'd like to see how she fares against your Nimbus.” 
“Well, we’ll get to see it today,” You replied with a smile, that’s when you heard a door close and the two of you turned towards Sirius, who was walking down the stairs with a SweepFire he’d had for a couple of years, but that looked well cared for, it had been James’.
“Why are you wearing green?” He asked as soon as he saw you. 
You looked down at your sweater and saw it change to burgundy right in front of your eyes, frowning and turning towards him “Did you just… magic dyed my sweater into a different colour?” 
“Can’t be seen flying around with someone wearing Slytherin house colours,” he said as he continued walking towards the door “It’d ruin my reputation.” 
You raised your eyebrows and gave James a questioning look, he just shrugged in response and followed behind Sirius, you caught up with him shortly after. As you walked down towards the patio James told you all about being Team Captain and how he had to make sure everyone was in top shape. “After the tryouts, it’s not just gonna be flying in the mornings, we’ll have practice at least 4 times a week with the whole team.”
Once on the patio, the three of you got on your brooms. And per James’s instructions did 5 laps around the castle. It was a chilly morning, so you were glad you’d put on the thicker sweater. Once you were done James pulled a quaffle and you all passed it between each other. At some point, He shot it a little farther behind you and you had to fly back to get it, bumping into Sirius and causing him to lose balance.
You responded quickly, stabilising his broom with yours and pulling his arm to stop him from falling, he’d managed to catch the quaffle with his other hand. James had flown towards the two of you as quickly as he could but by the time he arrived you were already pulling Sirius back up and laughing about it. “Maybe we should get some of those muggle hooks so you don’t fall off your broom,” you told him with a small knock on his arm. 
“Hey, even without them, I’ve caught it more times than you!” He said with a proud smile. 
“Not true!” You said trying to take it from his hands “That was my catch!” You nodded towards the ball in his hand as you attempted to grab it, Sirius used one of his hands to keep you back while he stretched the other arm to maintain the quaffle out of your grip. 
“This one? But it’s in my hands.” 
“No! I caught you, you caught it, it’s mine by right of catching you first.” 
James raised his eyebrows at the exchange and smiled mischievously as he flew towards Sirius' other arm and grabbed the quaffle, flying as fast as possible in another direction. He loved flying, like he always had, but he loved the fact that his best friend was genuinely smiling even more. It wasn’t very often that Sirius smiled like that since he’d run away from his house over the summer.
“Oi!” Sirius complained as he saw James fly by and then turned towards you with a look, with a small smile and a raise of his eyebrows he communicated his plan. 
You nodded mirroring his expression and the two of you turned your brooms towards James, flying side by side to corner him. 
Once by his side, the two of you threw your hands toward James and tried to take the ball from him. Sirius managed to take it and from slightly above shouted, “Whoever gets to the courtyard with the quaffle in their hands wins!” He then threw the ball as far as he could. 
You smiled at that and plummeted towards the direction the quaffle was thrown. You caught it just before it reached the floor. 
James, who was still stunned by having the ball stolen from his hands so quickly, saw the entire thing from his broom “Wow!” he said genuinely surprised “She’s really good.” He then flew towards Sirius, who had already managed to take the ball from your hands. You managed to get your hands on the ball again and flew backwards towards James. 
“Hey, James!” You called the boy, flying upside down above him “Would you mind telling me where the courtyard is?” You asked politely. 
He gave you a pouty look and flew upwards, taking the quaffle back in an unexpected movement. And as he flew ahead turned back with a teasing smile “Sure thing (Y/N), I’ll take you there!” He shouted before flying towards the courtyard with the quaffle itself in his hands. 
“You cheat!” You shouted with a grin and flew behind him, trying to catch up. Sirius was already hovering close to the courtyard and was planning to stop James by flying in front of him, but didn’t realise you were flying so close behind him that the moment the three of you were close enough you all crashed onto each other and started falling a few feet towards the grass. 
“Arresto Momentum!” Someone screamed from the courtyard and the three of you froze for a moment, once you moved again the impulse forced the three of you towards the grass, pulling a couple of metres of it along with the you. The brooms had gone flying in all directions and then, you all ended up tangled against each other. 
“James?!” Asked Lily who had been the one to cast the spell. “What in the bloody– Are you wankers?!” 
The moment you saw her you started laughing, so much so that you didn’t remember the last time you’d laughed so openly, you were almost crying. Sirius and James laughed alongside you, as Lily stared with apprehension. You soon realised you had your head on top of Sirius' back and your feet under James’ torso. When the laughter died out the three of you helped each other stand up. You had scraped your knee and leg, James had scraped his arm and Sirius’ lip was parted. 
Lily started scolding you once you were up “Look at you three! You could’ve gotten seriously hurt!” She said and then gave Sirius a warning look before he made it a joke of his name “You can’t pull (Y/N) into your dangerous games like that!” 
“But she started it,” complained Sirius brattily “She almost threw me off my broom.” 
“That was an accident!” you argued back with your finger raised. “I was gonna catch the ball.” 
“You shouldn’t reverse without looking first,” he said with both of his hands raised in defence “basic flying principles.” 
“But I did look! You appeared out of nowhere.” 
Lily rolled her eyes and took a deep breath as he saw the two of you bicker. Then James started to look around “So who won?” He asked with a frown, to which Lily crossed her arms and stared at him. 
“Well, I had the ball right before we reached the floor,” You said.
“Yeah, but it fell off your hands as soon as you took it from James and bounced back straight to my face,” He said pointing at his parted lip. 
“ALL RIGHT! “ said Lily, shutting everyone up with a clap. “Nobody won, you’re all losers, now, I’m gonna take (Y/N) back to the room so she can put on her uniform before breakfast. I’m sure Marlene should have something to put on her scrape.” 
“What about mine?” Asked James pulling his arm up with a pout. 
“Well you can take care of it yourselves, after all you know full well where the nurses’ office is,” she responded and pulled you towards the castle. 
“Please tell me you will be more careful next time you fly with them?” She said stopping you before you reached the stairs and looking straight into your eyes “I know it can be tempting to play their game but, James and Sirius don’t have a straight sense of danger, I swear they’ve been to the nurse's office over 100 times each.” 
You nodded “I got caught up in the fun,” You said as you started to feel the pain in your leg once the adrenaline faded “Lily, I hadn’t flown like that in, years,” you admitted “I wasn’t thinking when I launched myself behind Potter and then Sirius came out of nowhere,” you told her “I couldn’t break on time.” 
“On quidditch games there’s supervision. Who knows how much worse you’d be if I hadn’t been there!” She said finally exhaling. You looked down and nodded. Then she leaned in closer “But I do believe you won,” she whispered with a small smile motioning for you to follow behind her. 
That left you stunned. Up until that moment, you’d thought Lily was all about following the rules and not having all that much fun, especially since she was a prefect. But that moment proved you wrong. Oh the adventures you’d have with her in the castle, they all awaited you. 
Lily took you back to your dorm where you took a really fast shower and changed into your uniform. Marlene didn’t really have anything for your scrape but Mary did, she wanted to become a Mediwitch so she’d been testing some simple potions back at home and gave you one. The pain had gone in an instant but the area still looked scraped when you pulled your socks over half of it. After that, the four of you walked towards the dining hall together to have breakfast. 
Once you arrived you saw the boys sitting all together on the farther side of the table, along with most people of your year. There was an empty spot next to Remus, who had his head buried in a book, so you sat next to him, Lily plopped down right next to you while Mary and Marlene sat in the front. 
“How are you?” asked Remus as Lily talked about the schedule with Beth and another girl from your year, you looked at him confused and he nodded towards your leg “Heard about the fall, how Lily saved your asses,” he explained. 
“Oh,” you replied “Well, It’s alright, looks a lot worse than it feels,” you said pointing at your leg, “Mary gave me some cream potion ting to put on wherever the pain comes back.” 
“Want some chocolate?” He said, pulling a small bar from his pocket “It always helps when I’m feeling beaten down.” 
You nodded, he broke a piece off and handed it over to you. It was rather soft from his body heat, but you preferred soft chocolate to the hard bars so you enjoyed it quite a lot “How are the boys?” You asked him. 
“Oh don’t worry about them,” he told you “They’re used to being scraped all over, they said they had lots of fun tho, it was nice seeing Sirius happy about morning flying, he usually complains about James forcing him to wake up early and ruining his beauty sleep.” 
“Beauty sleep?” You asked while holding back a laugh “With those words?” 
Remus nodded, smiling too “You’d be surprised by the kind of things he says sometimes, with his posh vocabulary. He’s like a princess.” 
“Well I mean he does look like one,” you agreed and tensed right after, but Remus only nodded while glancing at Sirius. 
Then Lily gently tapped on your forearm, “hurry and finish up,” she said, nodding at your plate, “our first class starts in 15, and we still have to walk there.” You nodded in response and started munching on your toast faster, gulping down your tea along the way to help the bread soften in your mouth. 
When everyone was standing up you grabbed your leftover bread, threw some hazelnut spread on it and bent it from corner to corner, to take it along with you. And then you followed everyone towards your first class.
 In the classroom, a very small teacher, standing on top of a podium, awaited for you to arrive. He introduced himself as Professor Flitwick, but you quickly realised that he had only done it for you since everyone else already knew him. He mentioned something about how in this class you’d learn wordless magic and started to explain the basic concepts of it. You, as the rest of them, took notes of the things the teacher was saying with your quill. 
After Charms, you had Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall, which had been, in all honesty, rather complicated for you. While you were certain McGonagall was a brilliant teacher, you had a hard time grasping the art of turning teapots into ferrets and ferrets into teapots, and that was without even thinking about the fact that down the line, you’d have to transform people into animals too.  
Your third class was divination, and while you were relatively good at it, you were never really attracted to the art of predicting the future, since you’d had bad experiences in the past. Divination is only fun if you’re guessing good things that will happen, like who will win the Quidditch Championship or small things like “It’ll rain tomorrow.” But when you guess sad or tragic things, people stop liking it, and you along the process, that’s why you had dropped the course back in your old school. Unfortunately, you couldn’t do that here, since it wasn’t an optional class. 
A tall dark skinned professor walked inside the round classroom that stood in the farthest part of the North Tower. He was wearing a long green robe and had a very mysterious aura going around him. “My name is Aurelius Spellman,” he said in a very deep voice “I’ve met some of you before, some of you are in my class for the first time ever, but, be certain, I know each and every single one of you.” You were sitting next to Marlene in that class and you raised your eyebrows at her in a poking manner, she giggled.
“McKinnon, (Y/LN), Would you mind sharing the joke?” He said turning to face you. You instantly sat straighter and shook your head, “I’d like to see if what I’ve heard from Professor Ashbourne is true, she wrote to me all about your talents.” He said, giving you a stern look. 
“I have no talent sir,” you lied, Ashbourne had been your divination teacher back in your older school, she had continuously pressured you to pursue your abilities until you predicted something that made you quit it for good. You did not like Professor Ashbourne one bit. “My predictions are rarely any  accurate, I’m especially bad with classic fortune telling such as Xylomancy and Arithmancy.” 
“What about cards?” He said placing an old Spanish deck on your table. 
You took a deep breath and pushed them back “I thought we were going to follow the curriculum,” you said steadily, “Don’t we have to do runes first?” 
He raised an eyebrow at you “Miss (Y/LN) is -in fact- correct, 10 points for Gryffindor, this first unit we will be looking at the art of reading ancient runes. Please open your books on page 50. Potter, start reading, will you?” You exhaled the moment he started paying attention to James’ reading instead of you. 
At the end of the class, he divided some stacks of runes and handed them over to the students at random. You had to study their meanings and write what the runes would mean when combined with other things. It was really easy since you had already done runes in your old school, but you were thankful you weren’t actually reading someone’s future and had just a random set of runes instead. 
Once the class was over you rushed outside as fast as possible, escaping while some girls walked towards the teacher to ask him about the meaning of some runes, you really didn’t want him to call you regarding the whole Ashbourne thing. You had walked down the stairs so fast you didn’t even realise you’d left everyone behind, you leaned back onto a wall and allowed yourself to rest for a bit, heavy breaths becoming softer the more time passed. 
Remus spotted you from a couple of steps higher as he walked down, and after noticing your distress decided to approach you. “You all right?” He asked softly, as if not to startle you. 
You turned to him and blinked a couple of times before you managed to ground yourself. This was Hogwarts, that was Remus, and you only had to read random runes here, you didn’t need to predict anyone’s future. You nodded in response. “I got wrapped up in my thoughts for a moment,” you excused yourself “I’m not a big fan of divination.”
“I don’t know about your old professor, but Spellman will not pressure you into anything,” he reassured “Besides he already has a star student of his own,” he said nodding towards a small Ravenclaw girl with thick-rimmed glasses who was passing by. 
“Sybill?” You asked, raising one of your eyebrows.
Remus nodded, tilting his head towards you as he spoke “last name is Trelawney.” 
“Hold up, that Trelawney?” 
He nodded again and then smiled “Let’s go get some food, I wanna show you something,” he said and started walking downwards. 
You eyed him suspiciously and followed behind. Instead of taking you to the great hall, he took a deviation, walking down a long spiral staircase until you arrived to a long passageway. There seemed to be nothing but a couple of portraits there. Remus approached one of them, used his wand to make a little pear on the painting to move, and all of the sudden, the portrait opened itself like a door would, just like the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. 
There was a rather narrow and short passageway, and finally, you found the kitchens, an enormous room, about the same size as the Great Hall, with tables positioned in the exact same layout. “The elves use the tables to magically take the food from here to the great hall, it’s right above us,” he whispered as he noticed you observing. 
He then kindly asked some of the domestic elves there to pack some food for you. You saw Nimbletwist among them and waved at her. She smiled and waved back. Once the food was ready the elves handed them over to Remus and he thanked them. You followed behind him as he led you outside. When you approached the door of the castle he pulled a small paper plane from the inside pocket of his robe and swished his wand over it. The plane took off towards one of the halls. 
You frowned as you looked at the plane fly off “The boys?” You asked. 
He nodded, “So they bring dessert.” From then he walked out and guided you through the grounds all the way to the lake.
He pulled out a cloth and extended it over the floor “A picnic?” You asked, raising your eyebrows. 
“It’s a wonderful day,” he said with his arms wide open. 
You looked up with a bit of a frown. “It looks like it may rain soon.” 
“This is England love, it always looks like it might rain soon,” he said plopping down on top of the cloth and pulling out some of the food the domestic elves had prepared. 
Which reminded you of something you wanted to ask “Do they just… give food to whoever asks nicely?” You asked. 
“Most of the students don’t know where the kitchens are,” Remus explained. “Peter found them in second year when we were exploring the castle’s secret passages, he befriended the elves, they give us food whenever we ask them now.” He said as he patted the side for you to also sit on the cloth, you complied. Once you sat beside him he pointed at the lake “Whenever I’m feeling down, I like to come here,” he explained “The giant squid comes out every now and then, it’s relaxing to see him swimming around without any worries to perturb him.” 
Sitting next to Remus, with the light watery breeze, you thought back to the day you’d met him, and how he’d looked like a pirate from the cover of a spicy novel to you. He still looked as handsome as one, but he had much more depth than just a hot pirate. Layers, you thought, this boy has so many layers. You turned to look at the lake and saw the giant squid he’d been talking about. It floated aimlessly for a minute and then went back under the water, it really was as peaceful as Remus had described. 
As you stared at the water you grabbed one of the pork pies and started munching on it “Oh, these are incredible,” you said as you took another bite. 
He nodded “They’re Sirius’ favourites, thought you may like them,” he said as he grabbed his own. As the two of you talked about charms and transfiguration James, Sirius and Peter arrived. 
Peter, who was carrying a basket in his hands, sat down next to you, and turned to Remus as he grabbed a pork pie, “You brought her to your spot.”
“Yeah, she seemed like she needed it,” Remus replied with a shrug, “you guys brought the desserts?” 
Sirius and James were quick to sit in front of the three of you, closing the circle completely. “I got some of those meringue pies you really like,” said Sirius, looking at Remus attentively “and chocolate pudding too.” 
James nodded “he used all his charms on the kitchens,” and then he turned to you “By the way, the Gryffindor tryouts will be on Friday at four,” he said giving you a look “I’ll see you there, yeah?” You nodded in response, “But you won’t get any special treatment just because we’re friends,” he said in a warning tone, you laughed. 
“Yeah right, of course, the Gryffindor Team Captain can’t have a bias,” you replied with a smile as you gave him a small nudge and finished your pie. 
“Which class do we have next?” Asked Peter.
“How do you manage to keep your head in the clouds all the time Wormy?” Asked Sirius as he threw himself back, letting his hair sprawl on the grass, looking absolutely carefree as he took a piece of chocolate fudge to his mouth, looking absolutely prince-like, as always. 
“Wormy?” You asked, turning to Peter. 
“It’s a long story,” he exhaled, “short for Wormtail.”
“Wormtail? Now that’s even worse!” You said with a frown. “But you all gave weird names to each other right? Sirius is Pads, and…” you turned to Remus “You’re Moony.”
“Padfoot actually,” corrected Sirius as he took another bite of his fudge and then pointed at James “He’s Prongs.” 
“Wow, and that’s what you call your friends? I wouldn’t wanna be your enemy…” 
Remus chuckled lightly, looking amused and eventually turned to Peter “It’s Herbology?”
“Herbology?” you asked, turning to Remus with a frown. 
“Last class of the day too, why?” 
“I’m… exceptionally good at getting plants to die,” You explained “Theory and memory, that’s no problem, but keeping them alive… Let’s just say… it’s not among my talents.”
“Wormy’s really good,” said James “And Evans, I’m sure they’d give you a hand.” 
“Last year he kept my plant alive,” Sirius said in agreement “And Moony’s, when he was out of it.” 
Remus pulled his sleeve up a bit and checked his watch, which let you see he had some more scars up his arms as well, “All right boys, time to get going, we need to be at the greenhouses in 15.” 
Sirius took a deep breath and sat back down, joining the rest of you as you put everything back in the basket, Peter held it as the boys guided you to Herbology. 
Marlene was the first one to spot you as you were entering the castle, and she called in for Lily, “Hey Lils, she’s not lost, she was with the boys.” 
At that moment you left the boys behind and walked towards them, “you were looking for me?” You asked her when you stood in front of her. 
“Marlene mentioned how uncomfortable you were at divination, we were waiting for you at the great hall and when you didn’t arrive we started to worry, in my first year I got lost rather often, and some parts of the castle can be very dangerous,” she said stressing the last bit. 
You were moved by how caring Lily was of you, you’d met the girl only a day ago and she’d been more worried about you when she’d thought you got lost than your damn parents when you were exploring muggle London for a week, touching your house only for a dash of sleep before disappearing pretty early in the morning, Lily would be a great mother, you thought. “The boys took me for a picnic,” you explained, “that’s why we didn’t go to the great hall.” 
 She nodded “I should’ve guessed, you’ve gotten chummy with them already.” 
“Well, they are fun to hang out with,” you shrugged, “and of course, I already knew Sirius.” 
“You did?” She frowned, to which you nodded. 
“Met him a couple of years ago on a family vacation,” you explained. 
“Hold up! A couple of years ago? Are you talking about Sirius’ vacation in Mexico?” 
You nodded, “yeah, why?”  Lily started laughing 
“Sirius was hung up on you almost the entire year,” Marlene said as she caught up with you “We knew he’d met a mystery girl when Peter accidentally let it out.” 
“Oh, Was he?” You said with a cheeky smile “You girls are just giving me more fuel to tease him.” 
“Please do! He literally had all the girls crying because he kept ignoring their love letters. Throwing them to the fire and eating the treats he was sent. I was tired of girls asking me to introduce them formally.” 
You laughed while shaking your head, “Ahhh.. this is gonna be a fun year.” 
Soon enough, you all arrived at your classroom. The teacher introduced himself as Mr. Folly and started explaining some of the curative benefits of Spellvine and how it was especially helpful for potions to treat pain. You noticed Mary was especially attentive in class, you guessed it had to do with her goal of becoming a Mediwitch. While you wrote down all the special needs and care specificities of Spellvine the teacher handed everyone their own seed. It was going to be the course’s objective to grow said plant from scratch. 
After class, you went back to the common room and Lily decided to show you the way to the library, so you could do research for homework. Inviting you again to her and Remus’ study group, she said the first session would be on Wednesday. Eventually you went back to the Great Hall and you had dinner with everyone and finally, went back to your shared room.  
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A/N: Most Poly!Marauders fics are oneshots, where the relationship between characters is already established, and they're all happy and pleased with it. No issues, no drama, but I WANTED the drama. Couldn't find it, so I set myself up to write the story behind the stablished relationship. I wanted to know how they started dating each other, the jealousy, the will they won't they, because getting into a poly relationship can't be an easy task, and I wanted to explore that story. If you're interested: Welcome to Gilded Constellations!
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pathetichimbos · 5 months
Note
can you write about how thomas would react when reader is on their period? like how would he take care of them and everything
pampering them with gifts or pushing the family away especially hoyt because he doesnt want them near in fears youll break yk?? anyways, ty! i love ur writing
(male or female reader im not picky!)
Honestly... I don't think it would happen that way.
See, the thing is, the Hewitt family is extremely self sufficient, which means that everyone has to pull their own weight to keep the farm running smoothly. That includes when you're on your period. They've got that "if you can walk you can work" mentality. And they really mean it. Unless your cramps or pms are literally debilitating (i.e. you are literally bed ridden and cannot walk due to the pain), you're going to be expected to work. Cramping and bleeding or not, the hogs still need to be fed and the eggs need to be collected. None of that's going to change, and Luda Mae, Hoyt, and even Monty aren't going to excuse you lacking off just because you're on your period. (Again, unless it's literally debilitating).
And as for Thomas, I've said it before, I'll say it again, Thomas will not stand up to his family for anyone. He's not going to pick fights with them, or argue with them, or anything really. He's not a confrontational person. And, again, this is a small southern town in the 1970s, Thomas doesn't even know what the hell a period is. Luda Mae is very obviously a proud woman, and even to this day, a lot of older women won't talk about their periods because they see it as a private and shameful matter, so I doubt Thomas has any idea of what a period is, except for maybe having heard of it in passing.
So, when you tell him you're on your period, he's not going to understand what that really means. And after you explain it to him, he'll be sympathetic, sure, but... If most women have a period and continue to function in their normal everyday lives, why can't you? (Again: unless it's LITERALLY debilitating)
He'll be happy to help in whatever way he can, whether that be through getting you medicine in the mornings, or being your personal heating pad at night, but I don't think he'd really pamper you. After all, he still has his chores and work to do, which take up a large part of his day (depending how recently the last batch of victims came through, but even then, he has regular chores as well), and if you are bed ridden due to your period, he'll have to pick up your chores as well.
He's not mean, or mad about it, he loves and cares about you, and he's happy to do things for you when you need them, but he can't throw his responsibilities away just because you're on your period. I mean, think about it, periods last for one week out of every month, that is a HUGE amount of work lost now not only on your end, but his as well. That wouldn't fly over with any of the Hewitts. Especially Hoyt.
And on the topic of Hoyt, I mentioned this in my post about what it would actually be like to start dating Thomas, but Hoyt is like a father figure to Thomas. Thomas looks up to him, and respects him, and actively seeks his approval, he isn't going to force Hoyt to avoid you in his own house. If you're really that afraid of Hoyt hurting your feelings while you're on your period, you're going to have to avoid him on your own terms. But Hoyt isn't going to become more of an asshole just because you're on your period. Maybe a few misogynistic jokes or comments, sure, but Hoyt is always like that. That's just something you're going to have to live with to be with Thomas, because I don't think Thomas would ever move out his family home. Not unless something dramatic happened like I wrote about in one post a long, long time ago, where in the drabble Hoyt had left the stove on while watching Thomas' baby, which led to them being severely burned and scarred to the point that Thomas' s/o told him they were leaving and taking the children and he went with them because, again, Hoyt literally almost killed his baby and gave them severe and traumatic scarring. But even then, I don't think he'd move much farther than down the road. And that's only because of his child's safety and well being.
(And just a quick side note while I think about it: Thomas is also like a son to Hoyt, and I don't genuinely believe he'd ever attempt to put his hands on Thomas' s/o for the pure fact that he respects Thomas and wants to see him happy just like Luda Mae does. Do I think he'd make the occasional flirtatious or sexual remark? Yes. But it's a different culture and time, those things are considered a lot more normal than they are now, but Hoyt wouldn't attempt to touch Thomas' s/o.)
So, yea, I think that just about sums up what it would be like. Life would continue on as normal unless you were bed ridden, in which Thomas would pick up the chores you could no longer do.
Thanks for sending in the ask! <3
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something-tofightfor · 5 months
Text
Liminality: Part 3
Pairing: Frankie Morales x Female Reader
Word Count: 12,165
Rating: NSFW, plain and simple. (the version of Frankie in this comes with his own warning but I don't wanna spoil anything yet so... you'll see.)
Summary: After suggesting that Frankie take you back to his place, the two of you change the terms of your still very new friendship.
But it's fine, you're both adults and can handle a one-off, right?
Author’s note:
This isn't my typical slow burn, and you're all welcome for that. There's a lot of smut, a lot of plot, and maybe even some foreshadowing in here. Hope you like it.
If you ever want to talk about this - or any of my work - my inbox is always open. Enjoy.
Side note: there will be a slight delay with chapter 4 since I'm planning on finishing some Oberyn and Joel before I jump back into this one full force. I hope you understand.
Masterlist (for the journal entries and all of the other 'extras' + previous chapters)
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Frankie led you up a single step and onto an expansive covered porch complete with furniture and a swing, a string of lights that criss-crossed the underside of the roof bathing you in light. “I hung those.” He pointed up with his free hand. “Pope helped, but …” 
“It’s nice.” You squeezed his hand, nodding. “I saw some in the backyard, too. Did you guys put those up?”
“Mmmhmm.” He typed a code into the door and the lock popped open, Frankie releasing your hand and then settling his on your shoulder. “We can go and sit out there if you want.” 
He’s asking me if I want to sit outside right now? Really? “Maybe some other time.” He pushed gently on your back, urging you into the house. “Right now I’ve got something else in mind.” 
“Me too.” He murmured the words as you both stepped into the living room, soft light spilling down the hallway from in the kitchen to partially illuminate the space. A fireplace? In Florida? “A couple things, actually.” Turning to face him, you tilted your head, waiting. “‘Scuse me.” Frankie reached past you and pushed the door shut, the lock clicking into place - though the position meant that he was much closer to you than he had been at any point that night. “What are your rules?” 
“What?” The question took you by surprise - even though you appreciated him asking. “Rules? What do you mean?” 
“Well I brought you here which means that you don’t have a car. So I’d rather know what your boundaries are now and not … in the middle of things or after when it might get weird.” He’s considerate. He looks like that and he’s … fuck. 
“I don’t know.” Biting the inside of your lip, you eyed him. “What are yours?” 
“No visible marks on my face or body.” He stepped slightly closer, reaching up to run his fingertips along your cheek. “I don’t really mind, but it’s not good for work.” You nodded, because it made sense, but you were still intrigued at the fact that he didn’t mind. “I don’t care what kind of birth control you’re on, I always use a condom.” Lips parting in surprise, you nodded again. Ok, I like that. “If you don’t like something that’s happening, tell me. Don’t wait.” 
“Frankie, I -” You shook your head. How many one night stands does he have if he’s got this many rules? For the first time, you began to doubt your decision, mouth opening to tell him - and then you decided to ask instead. “Do you do this often? You seem prepared?”
“Not often, no.” He was watching you closely, very little space between you. “But this is a special case.” You didn’t understand, your open mouth turning into a frown that Frankie correctly interpreted almost right away. “I don’t usually hook up with … potential clients.” He laughed quietly, taking a long breath. “And I don’t want to scare you away.” He rubbed his thumb gently over your lips, the pad of it pressing against the center of your bottom one. “But I really want to fucking kiss you right now, so -”
You moved first, hands reaching out to grip the material of his shirt to pull him as close as you could. “Then why don’t you?” 
He used his hands to brace his weight - palms flat on the door just above your shoulders - and then Frankie’s mouth met yours with a low growl, the sound vibrating from his throat and against your lips. You gasped when he made contact, fingers tightening against his shirt - but then you stopped thinking. 
Frankie kissed you hard, lips pressed firmly against your mouth, the back of your head hitting the door with a quiet thunk. You sighed, eyes closed, and then slid your hands around to his back, pressing them against his spine and urging him even closer. 
He let you, his hips rocking forward - and when they did, you felt that he was stiffening beneath the jeans he wore, the man not shy about letting you know it. 
Instead of backing away, Frankie’s tongue licked at the seam of your lips, and you didn’t hesitate to part them for him. The kiss turned hungry, and even though you had no desire to break it and ask, it seemed like he’d wanted to do it for a while - the movement of his mouth against yours certain, one hand sliding between the back of your head and the door to cradle it. Fuck. How is he … this is … 
You couldn’t form a coherent thought, and even when he pulled back to take a breath, that remained true. “Wanted to do that since I saw you sitting at that bar.” He spoke quietly, voice husky, the man’s breath fanning over your cheek. “Didn’t think I’d get to though.” 
“Makes two of us.” Taking a deep breath, you opened your eyes, saying his name. “I think I have a rule.” 
“Yeah?” He straightened up, hand still in place and both of yours dropping to settle against his narrow hips. “What?” 
“You need to do that as often as you want.” The smile on his face was radiant, Frankie’s eyes widening as you met his gaze. “Because you’re fucking good at it.” 
“I’m good at other things, too.” He blinked slowly, never looking away from you. “You interested in finding out what they are?” 
“I am.” Nodding, you smiled at him. “But first…” Trailing off, you pulled him closer again, tipping your head so that you could press a kiss to the man’s bearded jawline. “C’mere.” He turned his head enough to kiss you again and that one was slower and more reserved, Frankie letting you take the lead and set the pace. 
You bit gently on the man’s lower lip and then followed it with suction, drawing it between your lips - and Frankie rewarded you with a quiet moan, fingers curling against the back of your head as he chased the kiss. You took that as an invitation, one of your hands rising from his hip to the side of his face, fingertips trailing up and over his sideburn and then moving into his hair, following the curls as they curved over his ear. 
It was just as soft as you’d expected it to be, the strands slipping through your fingers. And when you tugged on them, changing the angle of your kiss and causing his lips to part and give you an opening, Frankie sighed, the man nodding twice without pulling away. He likes it. The kiss deepend again, slow strokes of your tongue against his, Frankie returning the gesture and drawing your lip between his teeth before he released it, his mouth sliding over to the corner of yours and pressing a kiss there, too. 
It was surprisingly intimate, especially for two people that didn’t know each other, and when he backed away and gave you a few seconds to collect your thoughts, you were breathing hard. “You alright?” He met your eyes, brow furrowed. “I -” 
“I am. Are you?” Scratching your nails along his scalp, you wet your lips. “You gave me the option to stop earlier… you know you have the same option too, right?”
“Not happening.” He smiled briefly and then swallowed, exhaling. “No way in hell.” You laughed, closing your eyes, and while they were shut, Frankie leaned in and spoke directly into your ear, breath hot against your skin. “You’re gonna have to let me go so I can get your clothes off.” I am, aren’t I. 
Blinking rapidly, you used both hands to push him away from you and then reached for your shirt’s hem, fingers closing around the material. There was space between you - but not much, and all he had to do was raise his hands and he was touching you again. His fingers closed around your wrists and squeezed. “Wait.” Voice low, Frankie cleared his throat. “Let me.” 
You had no problem with that, letting go of the material and mouthing the word ok, Frankie’s hands releasing your wrists and replacing yours on your shirt. He eased it up your body, revealing your skin inch by inch, and when you had to, you lifted your arms over your head eyes on him. “You’re going so slow, Frankie. Wh-”
“I only get to do this once, and I’m gonna enjoy it.” Glancing up, he winked. “Patience.” You closed your eyes and bit down on your lip, fighting back a whimper. He knows what he’s doing. He’s so fucking good at this, how is he single? When he rid you of your shirt, instead of tossing it across the room like you expected, he reached over and set it on a small side table you hadn’t noticed earlier.  “Oh, shit.” 
He spoke so quietly you almost didn’t hear him, the man’s hands returning to your body and roaming over your newly exposed skin. He started with your sides, large palms settled against your ribs before one hand slid around to your back, easing you away from the door and further into the room. “Hmm?” You questioned with a quiet hum and a raised brow. “Frankie?” 
He didn’t say anything, instead continuing to explore you with both hands, the man’s touch much lighter than you expected. He wasn’t shy, though, holding you close and ducking his head down to kiss the top of your shoulder at the same time his hand slid beneath the band of your bra, fingers splayed wide. 
Frankie’s teeth grazed your shoulder and then you gasped in surprise when he took your bra strap between them and pulled, letting it snap back, the sting shocking you enough that your hold on him tightened. He laughed at that, turning his head so that he could nose at your neck, the man inhaling deeply before he kissed you there. He worked his way up, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake before moving across your cheek and back to your mouth. You gasped when you felt your bra loosen, Frankie’s hand deftly undoing it while he was otherwise occupied, and when you backed away in shock, he was grinning. “I told you I’m good with my hands.” 
“You did.” Pulling out of his hold entirely, you reached up and removed the material, letting it drop to the floor. “Now there’s nothing in your way.” You kept your eyes on him as he took the sight of you in - his gaze dropping from your face to your chest and lingering, the man’s fingers flexing at his sides. “Are you going to touch me, Francisco?” Flexing your shoulders, you waited. “Because I thought that’s what you wanted.” 
“Where?” He put a hand on his hip and grinned, gesturing at you with his other hand. “Because I still see plenty in the way.” 
“You’re fully dressed.” Leaning back against the door, you crossed your arms over your chest. “So -” 
“I know.” He scratched the side of his head, still staring at you. “But that doesn’t change anything. You’ve still got those jeans on, and …” He arched a brow, pressing his lips together. “And I’d like to change that.” 
You didn’t know what you’d expected - with all of your other hookups, it had been quick and simple; fumbling in the dark, just enough foreplay to get both of you involved and ready, a few kisses here and there to make things less awkward. But with Frankie, a hookup was more - more involved, more thought out, more interesting, and you had no desire for it to be over quickly. Even if the sex isn’t good, because this is … this is great. 
“No one’s stopping you.” You looked past him, eyes moving toward the hallway. “Where’s the bedroom, though? Shouldn’t we -” 
“If you want to get into a bed, we can.” He stepped closer again, his hands going back to your waist and resting just above the top of your jeans. “But we need to go now, because …” He unbuttoned them, both hands working to pull the sides apart and lower the zipper. “Because I want you, and I -” 
You made the decision for him, stepping out of his hold and then around the man, heading for the space in front of the fireplace. There was a couch and a loveseat, along with a recliner tucked into the corner, but you didn’t choose any of those. Instead, you kicked off your shoes and then stepped onto the rug that covered part of the hardwood floor, turning back to face Frankie. “How’s here?” 
He crossed the room without speaking, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you again. I guess that means this is alright. Bodies pressed together, you and Frankie stood there - his hands dropping, fingers dipping between your jeans and skin and then tugging, the man easing the last clothing you wore down your legs. He’s going to need help. He’s going to need me to… 
But your thoughts stopped when Frankie broke the kiss, sliding his hands back to your sides and kissing your chin before he moved down further, to your collarbone. He didn’t stop there, though, bending forward and mouthing at the top of one breast, the short hair of his beard tickling your skin. You laughed at the feeling, both hands reaching for Frankie’s head and massaging your fingers through his curls - and he seemed to like it. 
He bit you at the first touch of your fingers, the man’s teeth latching onto you for a few seconds before he released your skin, his mouth moving even lower and to your nipple. “Fuck, Frankie.” Your voice was low - almost a whisper - and when he sucked, you whimpered, your back arching to press yourself further into his mouth, Frankie’s fingers digging into your skin as he held you in place. 
He didn’t stay there long, either, releasing you with a pop and then glancing up, a smirk on his lips when he met your eyes. “I’m gonna enjoy this.” Are you? What are … 
Frankie lowered himself to his knees in front of you without breaking eye contact, both hands gliding down your body until he got to your jeans - and pushed them the rest of the way down. 
He finally looked away when he dropped his gaze to your lower legs, the man working quickly to rid you of the denim you wore, but your eyes were locked on him - on the crown of his head, the silver strands in his hair visible even in the dim light, on the slope of his shoulders, on the way his fingers deftly wrapped around one ankle and then the next to steady you  - and you realized that your heart was pounding against your ribcage in anticipation. 
“Frankie, you don’t have to -” 
“I know.” He looked up again, the man’s breaths slow and deep. “I want to.” You felt his fingertips running up the backs of your legs before he squeezed your thighs, nodding. “That alright?” 
“Yes.” You didn’t recognize your voice when you gave your answer because it was breathy and full of need - Frankie’s eyes flashing at your permission. But I can’t let this get too serious because it’s supposed to be … fun. “Are …” Clearing your throat to steady yourself, you slid your thumb over his cheek. “Are your knees as bad as Pope’s? Because if they are, that can’t be a comfortable position for you and -” 
Frankie’s laugh caught you by surprise. 
It was a full sound, the man closing his eyes and tipping his head back, fingers tightening further against you. “They’re fine.” He licked his lips again, locking eyes with you. “I’ll prove it right now.” 
You had few doubts about that, even after only knowing him for a few hours. But when Frankie returned his attention to your body, they all but disappeared. He leaned in, tilting his head to the side and settling his mouth just below the cut of your underwear on one thigh and let his lips linger there, both thumbs circling slowly on your legs. 
That motion continued even as he moved his mouth, lips occasionally replaced by a gentle drag of his teeth as they grazed your skin. “You’re teasing, Frankie.” Carding through his hair, you tugged on it to get his attention. “Please, just…” You didn’t even know what you were asking for; it was clear that he had a plan and was just taking his time getting there. “Fuck, I don’t even…” 
Trailing off, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, the strands of his hair still slipping through your fingers as he kissed his way over your skin. 
Moving his hands up a few inches, Frankie spread his fingers wide, taking you in hand - and then he squeezed again at the same time as he finally pressed a kiss to your covered mound, the pressure of his lips firm. At the contact, your hips jerked forward, toes curling against the carpeted floor. He kissed you again, hands moving a little higher, and when his fingers hooked over the waistband of your underwear and started to pull it down, you spread your legs a few inches, making it easier for him to lower them. 
He backed off while he finished undressing you, easing the damp material down your legs until it dropped to the floor and you kicked them off to one side. “Look at you.” He groaned, replacing his hands on the outside of your thighs. “Fuck.” It made you smile, but that expression left your lips the moment he kissed your skin again - the man’s lips soft and warm, his mustache tickling you just enough to make you sigh. 
Frankie didn’t go straight for it, though, continuing to tease you with quick kisses and short licks, his tongue dragging over your skin in a maddening pattern. He glanced up at you once, too, making eye contact - and though you didn’t know him well you could see amusement in his eyes and feel the way he grinned against your skin at whatever expression he’d found on your face. 
You fought to keep your composure, but when he touched you for the first time, you had to admit that it was a losing battle. Using both thumbs, he spread you open, the roughened pads pressed to your damp skin - giving him unrestricgted access. And Frankie wasted no time then, mouth landing exactly where he meant it to only moments later. 
The first contact was a kiss, but that moved almost immediately into a series of slow licks, the man’s tongue flat as he probed at your skin. He was unhurried, though, focused on what he was doing and taking his time, each pass of the muscle moving a little lower. You widened the spread of your feet without him asking, rising onto your toes briefly when Frankie’s tongue breached your entrance for the first time, but that was short lived, the man squeezing your leg and backing away. 
“You’re gonna lose your balance that way.” He grinned up at you as he licked his lips clean, thoughtfully drawing his lower one between his teeth. “Relax.” 
“You’re telling me to relax when you’ve got that mouth all over me, Frankie.” Rolling your eyes, you glanced down at where he was still touching you. “I don’t think you understand what -”
“No, I do.” He leaned in again, flicking his tongue out and against you twice. “I really do.” The angle was off - you weren’t quite tall enough to give him the best angle, but that didn’t stop Frankie from continuing what he was doing, both eyes closing as he savored the taste of you through long, thorough licking and more focused suction, the tip of his tongue flicking against you over and over. 
But what you weren’t prepared for was the removal of one hand from your leg followed by the drag of his knuckles against the space below his mouth. You moaned at that - the sound loud, but it only encouraged him, Frankie rotating his wrist and then circling his fingertips against your opening before pushing two of them slowly in. 
It was a lot - his fingers were thick, but he didn’t rush anything and his mouth had done a lot of work to get you ready. Holy fuck, he … he’s … You didn’t know how to complete the thought, because as he continued to work you over with his mouth, he sunk both fingers in, pausing before withdrawing them. You spoke his name again - just a whisper - but it was all he needed, Frankie repeating the upward thrust of his fingers and changing the position of his mouth on you. 
You were gripping his hair with both hands, urging him to stay in place, but when he paused and backed off before he’d taken you too far, you didn’t stop him, instead using the break to take a long, shuddering breath. “You’re good at that.” Biting your lip, you nodded. “Really good. Like -”
“Glad you enjoyed.” He smiled up at you, the expression lazy, even as he continued to pump his fingers into your body, though his pace slowed. “You’ll enjoy it more when you’re layin’ down, though.” Does that mean he wants me to lay down? Does that mean he wants to do this again? I …. “Come ‘ere.” Slowly, the pulled his fingers from you, curling them as he withdrew and then settled back, taking a long breath and patting his thigh. 
On slightly shaky legs, you did as he asked - lowering yourself down to straddle his thighs, both arms winding around his neck as his looped around your waist. “How are you going to fuck me if you’re still fully dressed, Frankie?” Resting your forehead against his, you wrinkled your nose. “Last time I checked, you couldn’t -” 
“I’ve got you.” He whispered the reply, the certainty in his voice settling you down as he kissed your cheek and then turned his attention to your ear. “Lay down.” You wanted him to kiss you but didn’t press it, instead climbing off of him and slowly reclining onto the rug, though you rolled onto one side and propped yourself on one elbow, watching him. 
He stood moments later, undoing his belt buckle and then the button and zipper on his jeans, pushing them down his thighs to remove them. That left him only in his underwear, an impressive bulge visible in the front and equally impressive thighs testing the elasticity of the leg openings below. Frankie pulled his wallet out before dropping the jeans, flipping it open and pulling out a condom package and then letting the leather bundle fall to the floor. He held it out to you and you took it, fingers brushing his as yours curled around the foil square, but your eyes were on Frankie and the way he used his other hand - the one he’d touched you with - to adjust himself through the material, squeezing through the cotton. 
You wanted to taste him, too - to know what the weight of him felt like against your tongue, to run your tongue over his head and tease him the way he’d teased you. Maybe later. Right now he looks like he just … Frankie eyed you with a hunger you hadn’t ever seen in someone so soon after meeting them before. But instead of worrying you, it made your stomach flip, desire surging through your body. Because if he’s looking at me that way, then he’s going to do something about it, and … 
He tugged once more on himself and then with a quick shake of his head, pulled his underwear off, tossing it to the side. He was still wearing his shirt, the thin material hanging down to his lower belly, but you only considered that for a few seconds. Because he … damn. 
Frankie’s fingers wrapped around his length again almost right away, but instead of using his clean hand to stroke himself, he used the other one, your slick easing the glide of his fingers. Fuck it. Fuck it, I … “Get down here.” You didn’t mean to make it sound like such an order, but he did as you asked immediately, lowering himself back onto his knees and then crawling toward you, eyes locked on your face. 
He covered your body with his, easing you onto your back and letting his weight rest atop yours, the man’s arousal hot where it pressed against your thigh. “How do you want me?” You’d assumed that he would just want basic sex - that you’d end up on your back with your legs wrapped around his waist while he fucked you, and you told him as much. “I can do that.” He reached for your hand, taking the condom and tearing it open. “But I had something else in mind.” 
Frankie rolled onto his back and then deftly put the condom on, your attention on the way his fingers looked rolling the thin material down and over his length before he squeezed the base, hissing in pleasure. “What’s that?” 
He turned his head and looked at you, saying your name. “Get on top … just for a second.” It shocked you - Frankie willingly giving you the power - but you didn’t question it, scrambling onto your knees and then into position, straddling him again with your hands on his abdomen. “Go slow.” 
Nodding, you did as he said - rising to your full height and scooting down so that you were hovering over where he held himself, the man’s eyes focused on the place where your bodies would join. “I will.” You looked down, biting your lip. “Not for long though, because fuck, Frankie, you keep telling me you’re going to enjoy this, but -” Stop talking. 
You let out a slow breath when you lowered your body, feeling the broad tip of him as it touched you and then slipped inside. Letting out a gasp, you tipped your head back and stared at the ceiling, mouth hanging open with each little bit of him that you accepted into yourself. 
He was murmuring words of praise as you moved; telling you that you were doing great, that you looked fucking incredible on top of him, that you felt good around him… but all you were focused on was the way that Frankie filled you up, inch by inch. You took him slowly, finally bottoming out and letting yourself relax for a few seconds. Neither of you moved, though you did look down at the man again, noticing that his fingers were curled into fists, the Frankie’s mouth hanging open slightly as he watched you. 
“That slow enough?” You couldn’t resist teasing him, and when all you got out of him was a tight nod, the man’s jaw ticking as he stared up at you, you decided it was your turn to tease him. Rocking your hips back and forth, you sighed and then closed your eyes, fingers curling against the material of his shirt. “Need to feel you, Frankie. I need to move. I -”
“Do it.” That was little more than a low growl, his hands flying up from the floor to grip your hips, the man guiding you into a slow rhythm that moved you up and down, your body’s accommodation of him easing by the second. And then it was your turn to praise him - eyes squeezed shut as you rode him, the muscles in your thighs tensing with each bounce. You told him that he felt good, that he filled you perfectly, that you’d never felt anything like him - and with each phrase, Frankie’s hold on you tightened, his hips rising just enough to meet yours on every downstroke and change the way he felt inside you. 
You wouldn’t come that way - there was no real friction or pressure where you needed it most, but to your surprise, the thought that you’d ride him all night even if it meant you’d never finish crossed your mind, the fact that it was the truth registering only moments later. Uh oh. Eyes flying open, you looked down and met his gaze, the man staring directly at you. 
There was a half smile on his face at first, but at the expression on yours, that look changed, Frankie blinking twice and murmuring your name. “What’s wrong?” 
“Too much.” The words slipped out, but as he heard them, he stopped moving entirely, his grip on you loosening. “I need you to fuck me, Frankie. Not like this. Not like it’s -” Familiar. Not like it means anything. 
“Alright.” He nodded then, jerking his chin and taking a deep breath. “Ok.” You climbed off of him, biting back a sigh at the loss of him as he slipped out, and moved to kneel next to him on the carpet, your lips pressed together.  He moved quickly, opening up more space for you and then gesturing with the hand that wasn’t slowly stroking himself.  “However you -”
You made the decision as he spoke, getting onto your hands and knees and then glancing back over your shoulder at him. “How’s this?” You had no doubt that it would be a good position for him, and almost knew that he wouldn’t oppose it, but part of you wondered why you felt that it was necessary. Because it’s less intimate this way. “Frankie?” Speaking softly, you shifted on your knees, watching his gaze drop and then rise back to meet yours. “Yeah?” 
“Y…yeah.” He swallowed, nodding and then moved into place behind you. “Spread your legs a little more for me, though.” You widened the set of your knees and then turned your head forward, closing your eyes and blowing out a breath as he put both hands on you, palms flat and fingers spread wide, the tips of them curling over your thighs. Alright. Alright this is - 
But you were unprepared for the feeling of his mouth on you from behind - first the press of his lips and then the drag of his tongue, slow and steady. Oh, shit. You whimpered, the sound escaping before you could stop it, but even more telling was the way your back arched, hips jerking toward the man’s mouth as you sought out more. 
He backed off, his exhale warming your slick skin, and then you felt him steady your hip with one hand, followed by the nudge of him against you. “Oh, fuck.” He spoke so quietly that you almost didn’t hear him, but when Frankie pushed back inside, the glide of him eased through you by your body’s response to his, you heard that reaction, the man swearing loudly and then using both hands to hold your hips in place as he began to thrust. 
It was better from that angle - the power behind each movement of his hips apparent, Frankie setting a pace that felt amazing and allowed you to feel every inch of him with every snap of his hips. And his hold on you never wavered, even when you began to pant, every exhale accompanied by a tiny whine as your fingers curled into the fibers of the carpet, giving you something to hold on to. 
He filled you - over and over, his grip tightening but not to the point of pain, and when you moaned out his name, turning your head to the side and peeking behind you at him, your entire body shivered at what you saw. 
He was still fully upright, the man’s head tilted to the side and his eyes on you - the lids hooded and one long lock of hair hanging down over his eye. His lip was curled, mouth set into a smirk that was part amusement and part effort - and it was one of the most attractive things you’d ever seen. 
As much as you were enjoying the position - and could tell that Frankie was, too, part of you regretted asking him to move, regretted the loss of contact and the ability to watch him. But it’s better this way. It makes more sense this way. He’s going to get off, and then I’ll - 
You felt his hand moving, sliding from your hip and around to the front of your body. Then only moments later, the man touched you, two fingers sliding over your skin and then lower, between your legs where they parted, Frankie letting himself feel where he was entering you. “Gonna help you out now, alright?” He sighed and then groaned, slowing down the movement of his hips as he pulled out and then sunk back in, the pressure of his fingers increasing. “Can you sit up?” Wait, what?  But you did as he asked, pushing yourself upright, hands hanging by your sides - and waiting. 
The new angle changed his depth, but Frankie never stopped moving, the motion of his hips becoming a slow roll instead of deep thrusts, and without thinking, you leaned back, shoulders pressed to his chest and your head tilted to rest against his shoulder. Instinctively, you arched your back again, hips pushed backward and against his. Frankie hummed at that, the man turning his head to nuzzle at the side of yours, his fingers still slowly circling against you. “That feels fucking amazing.” 
You closed your eyes, reaching back with one hand and setting your hand on the side of his leg, the man’s muscles flexing beneath your touch. “Yeah? You feel fucking amazing.” His free hand moved from your hip to your stomach, resting there for the span of a few thrusts, and then it glided upward, his large palm sliding between your breasts and then over the left one, lingering on the swell of it before coming to rest over your heart. “Relax. I’ve got you.” 
He spoke into your ear, and you did what he said, letting your weight rest against him and in his hold, your eyes closing and lips falling open. The hand not on his leg moved up and into his hair, your fingers combing through the damp curls … and then they stayed there, even as Frankie’s mouth began to move against your cheek and jaw. 
He sped up the motion of his hips, setting a different pace than he had with the movement of his fingers. After only a few seconds, you realized how close you were - and how much you wanted to come with him deep inside you. Because he won’t be far behind. And that … oh, fuck, that will… 
You pressed yourself harder against him, meeting his hips with small backwards thrusts of your own, and when you felt him nod you smiled, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. It was building - pressure and heat low in your belly, every motion of Frankie’s sending a jolt through you. When your thigh muscles tensed, followed by a slight curling of your toes and a quiet whimper, you knew that you were about to fall - and it was all because of him. 
It washed over you slowly, Frankie’s pace never faltering even as your body squeezed him, hips jerking back erratically and your grip on his hair tightening. You couldn’t help the way the edges of your nails dug into the meat of his thigh, your mouth falling open into a soundless gasp. He curled the fingers on your chest and groaned, turning his head again and speaking into your ear, his voice low and deep. “That’s it. Give it to me.” 
Normally, you weren’t a fan of much talking during sex; a few words here and there were fine, but in your experience, the talk came with familiarity, and since you weren’t typically close with the people you slept with, it always felt forced and unnecessary. But I’d listen to him recite the phone book in bed if he wanted to. You hummed in agreement, nodding twice as your body - and his - continued to work you through your orgasm, muscles tensing and loosening around him while he continued to move behind you. “Could say the… mmm, could say the same to you, Frankie.” 
He laughed at your words, but he wasn’t laughing at you - instead he turned it into a groan and then pulled his hand from between your legs, moving it up and pressing it against your lower abdomen. “Yes, ma’am.” You sucked in a breath at the address and then Frankie was moving faster again, the snap of his hips and the stretch of him inside you reminding you of the fact that he was filling you, over and over, the man showing no sign of fatigue, even after the varied positions and the need for him to partially support your weight. 
His breath faltered moments later, the man’s grunt loud, and then you moaned at the feeling of Frankie’s teeth on your neck, the man biting hard at the same time his arms tightened around you. He released your skin after only a few moments, soothing the sting with the press of his lips, but you barely felt it - instead focused on the way the stuttering of his hips and his hold felt. The thinness of the condom he chose allowed you to feel every twitch of his muscles, Frankie growing harder inside of you as he came. 
He finally stopped moving though he didn’t release you, the man’s hips flush with the backs of your thighs. You didn’t even try to hide the smile on your face as your grip on him loosened, arms dropping into a more relaxed position even though your chest heaved as you tried to catch your breath. He was breathing hard, too, and when Frankie did release you, you tipped your head back and blew out a long breath. 
He pulled out slowly soon after, another quiet grunt the only noise you heard, and when he backed away, you relaxed, lowering yourself so that you were sitting on the floor, leaning to the side with your bent legs beneath you. Well that was… You heard him moving behind you, and then only a few seconds later, a soft blanket was draped over your shoulders and he said your name. “C’mon, let me show you where the bathroom is.” 
Turning your head, you watched as he wrapped a smaller blanket around his waist, the man’s eyes locked on you. Yeah, that’s … a good idea. You were still dazed, but even more surprised when he reached out with one hand to take yours and help you to your feet, Frankie’s fingers closing around yours. “Thank you. I -”
“Lemme see.” He reached for you with his other hand, tilting your head so that he could see the place on your neck where his teeth had been. “I didn’t break the skin, did I?” 
“No. What? You didn’t bite that hard.” Laughing it off, you rolled your eyes. “I’m fine, Frankie. I actually … I liked that.”
“Can’t lose control, though.” He frowned, eyes on your skin. “Coulda hurt you… and then how would you have explained that to anyone you see in the next couple days?” No, you couldn’t. 
“You didn’t.” Reaching out, you cupped his cheek in one hand, forcing him to look at you. “No harm done, and it was hot as fuck, so…” He gave you a tiny smile at that, some of the worry leaving his eyes. “Show me where this bathroom is, yeah?” 
He led you down the hall, flipping the light switch on and telling you that you could use anything you needed, and then Frankie turned again, heading toward what you assumed was his bedroom. Closing the door, you turned to face the sink and gave yourself a few seconds to stare at your reflection, trying to get your bearings. 
Your eyes were bright, and though you couldn’t see it beneath the blanket he’d given you, you knew that your chest was still rising and falling rapidly, your body coming down from the act of being with him. He’s good. He’s really good. I enjoyed that. Closing your eyes, you let the blanket fall and gripped the edge of the sink, sighing. Don’t get used to it. You’re only going to be here for a little while. 
You did what you needed to do; used the bathroom, washed your face, took a capful of the mouthwash in the medicine cabinet, and then bent over, wrapping yourself in the blanket again before heading back into the living room to collect your clothes. 
Frankie was still gone, and even though you gave yourself a moment to stare at the place on the carpet you’d just occupied, you were already sitting and pulling your underwear back on when he finally did reenter the room, the man wearing a pair of sleep pants and the same long sleeve shirt he’d had on previously. “You don’t need to get dressed, unless you want me to take you back to the hotel tonight.” 
“You want me to sleep naked?” Glancing up at him, you arched a brow. “Seems kind of unfair since you didn’t even take off all your clothes earlier.” 
“Yeah, about that.” He wrinkled his nose, reaching up to ruffle his own hair. “There’s a reason, and when you see it, you’ll understand.” You were intrigued, but didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, and so you stayed quiet, eyeing him. “I’m serious, though. I don’t have much to offer you to sleep in, but if you sleep in those pants, you won’t be comfortable.” 
“You want me to stay?” 
“Yes.” There was no hesitation on his part, Frankie gesturing toward you with one hand. “Only if you want to, though.” You did - very much - and so you stood, walking to where he was waiting. “We’ll grab something to drink and then head to my room, and I’ll show you why I didn’t take my shirt off.” 
— 
A few minutes later, you and Frankie were in his room, glasses of water sitting on coasters on the small tables on either side of his bed. He’d explained a little to you about the house - that he’d bought it when he and his ex had split for good, that he hadn’t looked at too many before making the decision, and that it was a constant work in progress - but he’d sidestepped the mystery of his shirt, and it wasn’t until you were already in bed and under the blanket, your bare back resting against the wooden headboard that he brought it up again. 
“It’s going to sound selfish.” He stood on your side of the bed, looking down. “But I was pretty focused when we first got back here, and I didn’t want to … waste time.” Waste time? What? “Everyone always asks questions when they see it for the first time, and …” 
He moved as he spoke, reaching for the bottom hem of his shirt and then pulling it over his head, letting the thin material fall to the floor. “Holy fuck, Frankie.” Scrambling onto your knees, you made sure to hold the blanket over your bare chest, eyes on his arm. “That’s what you were hiding?” 
“Yeah.” He moved closer, holding it out toward you. “Go ahead, you can touch it.” He didn’t need to tell you twice, and only moments later, you were running your fingertips over the intricately inked designs on his arm, unsure of where to focus. Jesus, this is beautiful. “I got it after I retired from the military for good.” He cleared his throat, continuing. “We um … we all got somethin’, just to remind us that we were in some deep shit together.” He pointed at a spot on his bicep, your eyes moving to it. “For our unit.” 
“But you have a sleeve, Frankie. Do the other guys? No, because I saw Will and Tom’s arms, so…” He laughed, shaking his head, even as you continued to trace the lines of the tattoo. 
“No. Everyone else’s is pretty small. Benny’s is on his chest. Ironhead’s got his on his side. Pope’s is on the back of one leg. Redfly’s is on his shoulder.” You hummed in appreciation, eyes scanning the man’s arm. It was covered with navigational objects - maps and a compass, what looked like an instrument panel, a helicopter and even a biplane. You even saw a mountain range and a few sets of coordinates, along with Roman numerals hidden in amongst the other elements. “I made mine bigger because I was tryin’ to hide something.” 
Your fingers found it as he spoke again, your thumb rubbing slowly over what felt like thick scar tissue on the inside of his forearm, the uneven lines covering an area of a few inches. You felt a wave of unease as you explored, but it passed quickly, Frankie clearing his throat to reclaim your attention. 
“Got ambushed during the last mission. We were pretty far out and without a medical team, and by the time we got anywhere near a hospital, it had already started healing like shit. Got tired of looking at it and answerin’ questions about what happened so I covered it up and now all people see is the tattoo.” 
“Did it hurt?” You glanced up, fingers tightening slightly over the thickened skin. “Getting a tattoo over the scars? I’ve heard that it’s worse sometimes.” 
“Nah. Not as much as when I got hurt the first time.” He covered your hand with his and squeezed, saying your name. “D’you see why I didn’t want to get into this before?”
“You wanted to get straight to the sex. I get it.” Grinning, you shook your head. “It’s gorgeous work, Frankie. It suits you. I’d love to see it in actual light, not just these lamps, because I’m sure there are a ton of details, and -”
“You will.” He pulled his arm back and then circled around to the other side of the bed, climbing in and leaning back, just like you were. “I usually fly in short sleeves. So if you’re still interested in those flights…” 
“Oh, I am.” Turning your head to look at him, you nodded. “Very interested, Frankie. That wasn’t just bullshit to get you into bed.” 
“Good. Because I want to take you up there.” He reached over, squeezing your knee through the blanket. “Do you want to stop on the way back to the hotel tomorrow for breakfast?” 
“Yeah, that works.” You sighed. “I don’t know what’s around here, but … I trust you to pick something good.” He grinned, nodding. Part of you - a very large part - wanted to lean over and kiss him again before you laid down, but you knew that it wasn’t a good idea. That’s not what this was. It was just sex and … it was good sex, but … 
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Tilting his head to the side, Frankie crossed his arms over his chest. “What?” 
“I’m trying to figure out how to end this conversation and lay down without it being awkward, but … I just made it awkward, didn’t I.” He laughed at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling, but Frankie’s head shook back and forth, the man leaning closer. 
“Not awkward. I get it. This shit’s kind of weird, hmm? After what we just did out there, being in here’s … different.” You nodded, still eyeing him. “Can I make it a little better for you?” He wet his lips, taking a deep breath. “Easier, maybe?” 
You knew what he was going to do even before he moved, but Frankie leaned closer while you nodded, one of his hands rising to touch - and then tilt - your chin. He kissed you softly, lips lingering on yours, and when he backed away, he was smiling, one brow arched. “I did say you could do that as often as you wanted tonight, didn’t I?” 
“You did.” He tweaked your chin and then pulled away entirely, easing himself down and onto the mattress. “Now get some sleep. I paid a fortune for this bed and I want you to enjoy it as much as I do.” You laughed, laying down next to him and rolling onto your side, facing the man. “Alexa, bedroom off.” 
Without delay, the room was plunged into darkness, Frankie shifting next to you as he settled in. He didn’t say anything else, and there was space between your bodies, but you didn’t feel the typical chasm that was almost always result when you stayed after a hookup. Because I knew him a little first? Because this won’t be the last time I see him? Both? I don’t… I don’t know. 
Humming quietly as you got comfortable, you felt your breaths lengthen, your body sinking into the mattress, which was comfortable. “Are these pillows the same material as -”
“Yes.” His voice was muffled, Frankie clearing his throat before he continued. “I told you. A fortune. I’m not twenty one anymore and I deserve it, goddammit.” You laughed at that, eyes squeezed shut. “Goodnight.” 
“‘Night, Frankie.” 
As you drifted off, the thought crossed your mind that even it was meant to be a one-time only thing, it certainly hadn’t felt that way at any point in the night - on either side. 
— 
You woke up to heat, a weight draped over you that sent a jolt of panic through your body as you sucked in a breath. Where am I? What is - “Hey. It’s alright.” His voice was low and in your ear, your muscles relaxing at the sound. “You’re alright. I just moved in my sleep, I’m sorry.” 
The realization that it was Frankie’s weight partially atop you forced your eyes open, the sight of his bare chest only inches from your nose greeting you immediately. Oh, shit. “I’m sorry, too. I -”
“Don’t apologize.” He moved his hand slowly, trailing a finger up the center of your back. “Not a bad way to wake up.” No, not at all. “How’d you sleep?” He smells so good. Even after last night, he smells… 
“Like a rock, Frankie. You weren’t lying about your bed. This is incredible compared to the hotels and apartments I’ve dealt with the last couple months. I don’t know how you get out of it every morning.” He laughed at you, taking a breath and rolling onto his back and away from you. You watched as his tattooed arm lifted, that hand rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 
It was easier to see the design in the morning light, and your eyes roamed his skin, looking for details that you’d missed previously. There’s so many. I’d need to look for an hour to see them all. “I’m going to take a shower, and then we’ll get going. I hate to do that, but I’m gonna go straight to the office after I drop you off.” He blinked at you, the man’s cheek pressed to his pillow. “You can use the other one if you want, should be everything you need in -”
“I appreciate it.” Sitting up, you held the blanket in place. “But I’ve got some emails to check, and there’s no point in showering if I’m just going to put old clothes on.” 
“I offered.” He sat up, too, and shrugged. “There’s coffee in the kitchen if you want to make some. It’ll only take me about ten minutes.” Frankie climbed out of bed without warning, treating you to the sight of his bare back and shoulders, pants hanging low on his hips. Damn. Look at him. “It’s not polite to stare.” Throwing a glance back over his shoulder, you watched as his smile grew. “But I don’t mind.” 
You groaned and he laughed, the man disappearing into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. Well, shit. You gave yourself until you heard the water turn on to get out of bed, quickly pulling your clothes back on and using his mirror to ensure that you looked presentable. That done, you padded barefoot into the kitchen, willing yourself not to snoop. 
He’d already opened up to you on numerous levels - more than any typical one night stand, and also more than any new acquaintance, and you didn’t want to break his trust. As you reached for the handle of the most likely cabinet for coffee mugs, you tried to convince yourself that it was because you needed him for the helicopter, but you knew that wasn’t everything. 
The places your search took you often led to loneliness - the job was a solo one, and your cover contacts could only fill so much of the time in the day. The reality was that when you weren’t out looking at likely locations or actively doing research, you spent a lot of time in the place you were renting. 
It didn’t make sense to make friends. It wasn’t smart to form attachments, because the nature of your mission was something that kept you on the move. But maybe … maybe making a friend like Frankie would be alright. 
His friends were an added bonus, too. He hadn’t been wrong; you’d gotten along with them, had enjoyed the time you’d spent at the bar, and it had little to do with the fact that they were potentially useful. And everything to do with them as people. 
You set the pot to brew and then headed for the living room, digging through your bag for your phone and pulling it free. 
There were no missed calls or texts, and nothing in your inbox from Tom. It’s still early, though. Frowning, you headed back into the kitchen and took a seat at the small table, dialing Alec’s number as the scent of the coffee filled the room. 
It went straight to voicemail, which didn’t surprise you, and with an exaggerated roll of your eyes, you rested your forehead against your palm, waiting for the beep. “Hey, Alec. It’s me. Just checking in and trying to figure out how things are going. I’m working on a couple things in Florida, so hopefully in a few days I’ll be settled for a while. Give me a call when you get this, alright? Would be great to hear about what you’ve been up to.” 
Setting the phone face down on the table, you covered your face with both hands, sighing. It wasn’t unusual to be out of contact for a lengthy period of time, but no interaction whatsoever always worried you. He’s fine. He’s just following a lead. He - “Alec? I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but -” He sounds concerned. 
Head popping up, you turned in your seat toward the doorway, finding that Frankie was leaning against it, his hair wet and arms crossed over his broad chest. “My cousin. He also travels for work, so we … we sort of keep each other company while we’re on the job. It’s been a little while since I’ve heard from him, though, and I have no idea where he is right now.” He nodded twice, pointing at the coffee maker with one finger. 
“You made a pot, not a cup.” Well, yeah. I figured you might want some, too. “There enough for me?”
“Of course. I just got out one mug because I didn’t want to assume, but… yeah, Frankie.” Standing, you headed back toward the counter, inhaling deeply. “I made enough for you.” 
“Thank you.” You heard the sound of a cabinet opening and then watched as he pushed a travel mug across the counter, followed moments later by a second one. “Can I make a suggestion?” Turning your head, you waited to see what he’d say. “We take it to go, and then both of us have a good coffee to drink later today.” 
You paused, pressing your lips together. Is he trying to get me out of here? “I… ok. Sure. I haven’t tested out the coffee maker in my room yet, but -” You poured coffee into the first mug, leaving enough space in case he wanted to add anything to it. 
“And you can give me the mug back the next time I see you.” He stepped closer, bumping your hip with his.  “Whether that’s for a flight or … another time.” You tried to hide it but you were certain he saw your hand shake at the comment, both of your eyes widening at the insinuation. Another time? Another time like last night, or another time at the bar, or - “Whenever’s good for you.” 
You turned your head then, locking eyes with him. There was something in them, a hopeful look that surprised you, but Frankie only gave you a small smile, the man shrugging as he reached for the full mug, his fingers closing around it. Keep it light. “Sounds good.” You returned your attention to the coffee pot, heart thudding in your chest. “I will be in Tampa for a while, so…” Don’t get your hopes up. 
A few minutes later, both of you were holding full travel mugs and heading out the front door. Frankie was telling you a story about a booking he’d had, your attention fully on the sound of his voice. “I have so many damn stories I could tell you, it’s unreal.” He slid into the seat next to you, turning the key in the ignition. “Proposals. I’ve had people break up mid-flight. Couple people puked. Someone demanded their money back because I wouldn’t land ‘em in a random place.”
“People are … very needy.” You sipped your coffee, eyeing his dashboard. “But I bet you’ve had some really good flights, too. Otherwise, you wouldn’t still be doing it.” He didn’t answer right away, but when he did, it wasn’t how you’d anticipated.
“Alright. There’s a place on the way back to Ironhead’s that I like. Hopefully you will, too.” He put the truck in reverse and backed slowly down the driveway. “And yeah, I have had good flights. Most of ‘em are that way. But even if they weren’t, I think I’d still do this. Flying’s what I know. It’s what I’m good at. I made a career out of it in the military, so why not keep doing it now?” 
“I know for a fact you’re good at other things, too.” Eyeing him, you chewed on your lower lip. Well, it’s the truth. “So -”
“Ah, but those things aren’t exactly legal for me to profit from, are they.” He grinned, turning toward you enough to give you a wink. “Thanks for the vote of encouragement, though. I’ll remember that. Flattery gets you everywhere with me.” This is too easy. It shouldn’t be this easy. “We’re almost there, by the way. Family owned diner. Cheap but the food is good. They’re really friendly.” 
Nodding in agreement, you leaned back in your seat, staring out the front window. You reminded yourself to make a few notes during the meal, just in case he was watching you closely. Keep up appearances. 
But when you parked in the small lot, Frankie waiting for you to round the front of the truck to start walking toward the front door, you knew that you wouldn’t be focusing much on your surroundings. Instead, you focused on him, the man taking a seat across from you in the small booth, and immediately launching into another story once you’d both ordered. 
He kept you entertained throughout the entire meal, your attention squarely on him and what he was saying - but Frankie asked you questions, too, the man’s prodding never making you feel uncomfortable, though it was not typical “morning after” conversation. But nothing about this is typical, is it. 
He made you laugh with a story about Benny and Pope, and it was impossible not to keep grinning in his direction, even after it was finished. “You’re making a very good case for wanting to be friends with your friends, do you know that?” You finished your meal, dropping your fork onto the plate and then topping it with a wadded up napkin. “Thank you, Frankie. For … last night and for this morning. It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt … I don’t know, like I’m in a place for more than work. It was nice to relax for a while.” 
He nodded, raising his almost empty cup in salute. “Glad to help.” You didn’t want to cross a line or make it weird with him, but his reaction reassured you that you hadn’t. “They all always tell me I need to relax, too. And despite what you might think, last night was … not my normal. Before? Yeah. Before I met Becca? Definitely. It … I’m careful now. I have to be.” 
“Because of your daughter?” Cocking your head to the side, you crossed your arms on the table. “I get it. Even if she doesn’t live with you all the time, you’ve gotta be there for her. And inviting strangers into your life is … not always the best idea.” He watched you for a few seconds, the look in his eyes almost distant, but then he nodded, blinking himself back into focus.
“That’s part of it.” He gestured to your plate and then to his. “Ready?” You nodded in agreement, reaching for your bag, but Frankie held out his hand, stopping you. “It’s on me. I’ve got it.” You didn’t want to argue and so you thanked him instead, watching as he pulled a few bills out of his wallet and set them on the table. “C’mon. We leave now, I’ll be able to get you back to your car before Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber get to the bar to open it up.” 
You snorted back a laugh and followed Frankie back outside, the man pausing long enough to glance up at the sky and take a deep breath. What is he going to say? He’s gearing up for something. “Which one’s which?” Putting a hand on your hip, you wrinkled your nose. “Benny and Will? Which one’s -”
“Depends on the day of the week.” He kept a straight face for a few seconds and then laughed, shaking his head. “I’m kidding. They’re both a hell of a lot smarter than they look, and they’re two of the best goddamn friends anyone could ask for.” 
“But that doesn’t mean they won’t give you shit about picking up a girl from a bar and having to drive her back to her car the following morning - as any good friend should.” Buckling in, you looked over at Frankie. “I get it.” 
“I meant it. I don’t … I don’t use the bar like that. I don’t just -”
“Frankie, you don’t owe me an explanation. Even if you did take home a new woman every time you went in there, I can’t say much about it because I’d barely been in Tampa for a full day before I let you take me back to your place. This is … what it is, and I think it’s fair to say that we both enjoyed ourselves, but that doesn’t mean either of us have to justify our behavior.” You drummed your fingertips atop your knee. “I don’t stay in one place long enough to get close to people. I’ve never kept in touch with anyone I’ve met after I’m out of a city, so -”
“But have you ever slept with ‘em and then had to work with them afterward?” He watched the road as he drove, both hands on the wheel. 
“No. But if it’s going to be a problem, I -” He stopped at a light, turning his head to look at you. “What?” 
“It’s not going to be a problem. I just want to be honest with you, because I’m not … I’m not looking for anything long term, and I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. After retiring, after Becca, after … everything, I’m just trying to … make it all work.” 
“Well you’re in luck.” You cleared your throat. “I think we’ll need to be friendly in order to make the most out of these flights I’m hoping to schedule with you, but it doesn’t need to be more. Last night was great, Frankie, there’s no reason to pretend it wasn’t.” You were thankful that he was being honest with you - setting expectations and not leaving things open to interpretation. He knows what he needs, and that’s … a step up from most men, honestly. “But we can leave that part of it at that, and just … work together.”
It was probably for the best - the longer you stayed in Tampa and the deeper you got in your research, the less time you’d have for distractions like Frankie outside of the helicopter. Because the man was perceptive - he had to be in order to survive multiple deployments, and to excel at his current profession. And perceptive people ask questions, which I can’t answer, so … it was fun but we shouldn’t do it again. 
He gripped the steering wheel tightly, the man’s jaw set - but he didn’t speak again until you were parked in the bar’s lot, his truck next to your car. “I might have some time before my first trip today to look into some routes. If you … if you think of anything you want to see, or anywhere you’d like to go, just let me know, and I’ll see if I can work it in.” You nodded, digging through your bag for your keys. “Might be a couple days before you hear from me, because I want to have actual answers before I -”
“That’s fine. And if, in the meantime, you can figure out a time to do one of your regular routes, I’m open to that. I have to see the main coast and the city too, right?” Might as well get that out of the way while I can. “Only if you have time, though. I don’t want to bug you.” 
“You aren’t. And you won’t.” He finally looked at you again, resolve written on his features. “And I didn’t mean to lay this shit on you, either. I probably seem like the worst fucking hookup of all time.”
“I’ve had worse. Way worse, actually.” Winking at him, you reached over and squeezed his knee. “But in all seriousness, knowing where you stand is important, right? Set expectations from the beginning and no one gets in too deep.” Keep telling yourself that. “Have a safe flight, Frankie. Or flights, if you’ve got more than one today. Thank you again for everything. I’ll talk to you later.” 
You got out of the truck without saying anything more, but before you could climb into your car, you heard him say your name and looked up to find the driver’s side window down, his bent elbow resting against the open space. What? “Let me know when you hear about that apartment, alright? If you end up there, I can recommend some stuff in the neighborhood.” 
You assured him you would, and then with another nod, Frankie pulled away, the window rising as his truck moved. Even though you told yourself not to, you watched him go, only looking away when the truck disappeared from view. Shit. 
He wasn’t exactly sending you mixed signals - you were the one that suggested being on friendly terms, and what he’d told you laid out his expectations pretty clearly. But something was nagging at you - Frankie’s behavior not quite aligning with a true one night stand’s aftermath. It’s fine. I’m overthinking it. Lifting the mug to your lips and taking another sip, you laughed as you realized that no matter what, you would have to see him again - just as he’d so obviously planned. Oh, Frankie. Smiling to yourself, you unlocked your car. You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you. 
“Long night?” You spun at the sound of a voice, startled at the sight of Will leaning against the side of his car - a large SUV. “You look … well rested.” He was smirking, one eyebrow raised, and without even thinking, you lifted your hand and gave him the finger, the man’s laughter erupting from his throat. “Maybe you need more sleep. ‘Fish must’ve kept you up late.” 
“Very funny, Will.” He wasn’t judging you, though, the man’s posture loose as he watched your reaction. “How do you even know he -”
“I passed him on my way in. He waved at me.” Oh. That’ll do it. “You know, I give that man a lot of shit, but …” Will dragged his tongue over his lower lip and then reached up, rubbing at his beard with one hand. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen him like he was last night. Comfortable with someone new. It was … nice.” Oh? That’s… interesting. “Just something for you to think about, y’know?” Will nodded slowly and then pointed at the front of the bar. “Gotta go in now, get shit ready to open, but what Benny said last night stands. Come back whenever - with or without Cat.” 
“Maybe I will.” He nodded, pushing off of the vehicle and stepping toward the door. “See you around.” You were inside your car before he made it to the door, starting the engine and tapping the address of the hotel into the NAV screen. 
You had a lot to think about - and even more to do, and thanks to Frankie, you didn’t need to stop for food on your way back to the room. I’ll go out later, you told yourself, fingers tapping on the steering wheel. Once I get some work done. 
And you did get work done after you got out of the shower, the hot water running over your body and soothing you the way it always did. But you would have been lying to yourself if you’d tried to pretend that while under the stream, you hadn’t let your thoughts wander to Frankie - to the way he’d touched you and made you feel. 
You worked for hours, finishing the mug of coffee and then some, making lists of potential locations to check out along with likely spots within those locations to focus on. You did what you did best - categorizing your findings based on intuition and what you knew to be true about the Chaos line, as well as the data you could gather on the previous attacks in the Tampa area. 
It was good work, and when you finally stopped to take a breath and consider dinner, you were pleased with your progress - and even more pleased with the locations that you’d found to use as cover while you looked into what you were really in Florida for. I have a place to start now. And tomorrow… tomorrow that’s what I’ll do. 
But the minute you shut your laptop and closed your notebook, your thoughts went back to Frankie, and the time you’d spent together. Closing your eyes, you could still almost feel the man’s hold on you - the way his palm had felt on your chest, the touch of his fingers and the press of his chest to your back. You could hear him, the noises he’d made seared into your brian. Stop it. Stop. You both know what last night was.  
Shaking your head, you stood from the desk and reached for your phone, surprised to see a missed call from Tom earlier that afternoon. I got denied. That’s the only possible reason he called so fast. 
But Tom’s message was the exact opposite - short and to the point, and when it ended, you stood in the center of your room, gripping the phone tightly in one hand. 
The homeowner had looked over your documents and references, and contingent on your background check’s results, was ready to accept the terms of your move-in offer. “As long as everything comes back good, you can come in on Wednesday and Thursday and sign the lease and hand over your deposit,” his voice through the speaker told you. “And then move in immediately after that. Might be premature, but … congratulations on findin’ something so fast. I’ll keep you updated.” 
“Oh, man.” Closing your eyes, you lowered your head. Things were progressing in record time - and once you were moved in, you wouldn’t have to worry about a housekeeper walking in and snooping through your stuff, which would make things even easier. It meant you could truly get lost in your work, surrounding yourself with your notes and everything your family had learned throughout the years. 
But there was something it also meant - a realization that your traitorous brain focused on much more quickly - and for much longer - than it should have. 
Once you moved into the guest house, you’d practically be neighbors with Frankie - and despite the assurances and declarations you’d both made that morning, you weren’t sure that either of you would be able to stick with them. 
— 
(one more attempt at a) tag list coming soon!
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mvrtaiswriting · 9 months
Note
Omg hi. First of all, congrats on hitting 1k followers! That’s amazing 😍😍 your writing is really great, so it’s definitely deserved!
I would love to participate in your 1000 follower event :3 with the prompt “stop squirming.” character: zoro/ace please 🤭
If that prompt has already been picked then lemme know and I’ll choose another one 👀
This event is really cool btw ❤️ I hope you get lots of participants and your blog grows even more! Take care :D
Ace x Prompt 1 (taking care of a lover's injury) - "stop squirming."
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hii my dear <3 thanks for the support, I truly adore you!! i just knew you were doing when you chose Ace... how could I not pick him?!! HE IS MY BABY😭 also this is very shot but i hope it meets your expectations! i enjoyed writing it so much so thank you again for trusting me with this!
gender neutral reader | mention of needles | fluff | 559 words.
reblogs, likes, and comments are appreciated ♡ if you enjoy my works, click here to read more or buy me a coffee. -> from this event.
“Stop squirming.”
You scolded him, pressing the cotton pad against his wound.
"It burns."
Ace pouted, hissing as the rubbing alcohol touched the exposed flesh on his arm.
"Should be used to it."
You remarked sarcastically, sighing at his reaction and continuing your medication. Ace clicked his tongue in annoyance, trying to stay as still as possible as you stitched up his deep cut. He kept quiet as he observed you meticulously sewed him up - he loved the little frown that formed on your face whenever you were concentrating, the delicacy of your hands as you twisted the needle and thread so quickly yet so smoothly, making the whole thing almost painless.
This was your thing - Ace would visit your office almost daily. He had discharged Marco from being his doctor and appointed you instead - and since then, you had to deal with Ace always knocking on your door for the slightest of symptoms. Of course, most of the times you also had to deal with the consequences of his recklessness - always ending up taking care of him and the injuries he covered himself in. At one point, you almost doubted he did it on purpose - how could someone so powerful be so clumsy? How could the Fire Fist always end up with a bad injury even when battling the weakest of his opponents?
Yet, there was something so horribly romantic about spending your afternoons taking care of him. What started as a way to distract him from the pain of medical procedures became an excuse to share your deepest secrets. Laying on your medical bed, he told you about his troublesome childhood and of that time Whitebeard saved his life. And so did you - hiding before your surgical mask, you told him of why you chose to become both a doctor and a pirate. Every band-aid on Ace's skin marked a confession, transforming a consult for a runny nose into knowing each other better, your bodies forced to remain only a few millimetres away from one another. It probably wasn't the most ethical of thoughts for a doctor to have, but you couldn't help but stare at the door of your medical office waiting for Ace to burst in, asking you to fix him up.
"All done. You'll feel like new in a day or two."
You smiled, taking off your gloves. Still observing the bandage applied to his shoulder, you made sure everything was tight enough. You hadn't realised how close Ace was until your lifted your face. His eyes were piercing through yours as he bit his bottom lip, your noses almost brushing against each other.
"Y'know what could make me feel better?" Ace whispered, a cunning smirk slowly forming on his lips. Raising your eyebrow in response, a small laugh escaped your lips. Ace was clever, witty, irresistible - and it had you wrapped around his finger. Letting his hand slip on your cheek, he gently pulled you closer to him - finally pressing your lips against yours. A smirk appeared on Ace's lips once again as you urgently reciprocated the kiss, slowly reaching him on the medical bed he was sitting on. His strong arms were quick to wrap around your body, lifting you up and putting your figure over his.
"Oh, I have an idea or two."
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sub-text · 2 years
Text
Masterlist
Pairing: Remus Lupin x f!reader
Word Count: 16.7k
Content: Fluff & Angst
Summary: When you are revealed to be fancying someone, Sirius Black and friends take it upon themselves to figure out who it is. Will their highjinks ruin your chances? Or will you finally get the romantic attention of the one and only Remus Lupin?
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“Leave her be, Sirius. Can’t you see the girl’s uncomfortable?”
You couldn’t help the relieved smile that passed over your lips at the boy’s words. There he was again, taking care of you. You hated how he did it so easily.
“Oh Moony why you have to ruin all the fun?” Sirius cackled. He winked at you and continued despite the warning. “Just wanna know who in all of Hogwarts would have our friend all riled up.”
“I am not riled up!” You protested, earning heafty laughs from all across the room. Sharp glares shot out towards your friends. You’d expected a laugh from Sirius, even James, but seeing Lily, Marlene, and Dorcus join in felt like an afront. Even Remus had chuckled. You decided that Sirius needed to back down and you knew just how to do it. “You wouldn’t be able to handle me all riled up, Pup.”
That did it. The lean foreward, the small dip in pitch, a slight pause before the nickname - which included you unabashedly checking him out - and the tiniest smirk took the boy by surprise. The whole room, actually. It came to mind that your friends had never actually seen you be blantantly flirtatious. It was likely because you had no courage to be flirtatious with the one person you desperately wanted to flirt with. But Sirius Black? Easy.
The girls behind you began to giggle at Sirius’ continued silence. Your friend did look quite funny, completely gobsmacked. 
You began to chuckle yourself, “I told you. He’ll never learn, will he?” You’d offered the question to Remus. Conversation slowly began to resume. When your eyes found Remus, he was looking at you with the same cautious surprise as the rest of the room. His eyes flicked from Sirius to you before answering.
“’Fraid not.” He reopened his book and said nothing else. Worry itched at the back of your mind. Jokes and laughter were beginning to rise once more. James kept teasing Sirius with help from Peter.
“Stop oogling Pads!”
“You’re starting to drool!”
“I am not!”
“Maybe y/n is in the market for a puppy?”
“Doubt she’d go for a Black one.”
“This is absolutely disgusting.”
“Thanks Sirius,” You rolled your eyes, “But just to clarify so you’ll leave me be: he and I? It’ll never happen.” 
“Why not?”
You thought for a moment. Whatever you said next needed to be impossibly vague. Lily was smart as a wip, Marlene devious, Dorcus great with a puzzle, and, despite their carfree and rebelious nature, the marauders were just as clever. Thousands of lovely thoughts passed through your mind, each more elaborate than the last - also just as revealing. You needed something simple. Something that couldn’t easily be traced. Something only a few of them might understand. You’d gathered up your things, knowing they would all keep trying to ask you questions if you stayed. You slipped on your coat. A groan came up from around you. You picked your way through the tumble of companions. Sirius had stood, raising to his full height as if trying to intimidate the answer out of you. Your eyes scanned across the group, their faces all impatient and pointed at you. Except Remus. You took your gaze away from him quickly. Hopefully not too quickly.
“He’s Shakespeare,” You answered.
“You’re going mad over a dead playwright?” James asked. Hadn’t expected him to know who that was.
“No,” Lily rolled her eyes, “She’s comparing the guy to Shakespeare.”
“D’you not think Shakespeare’d like you?” Peter asked.
You shook your head. “Because Shakespeare is Shakespeare.” The sigh that left your lips could have fueled a thousand hearts. With quiet remarks about being back later, you ducked out of the common room and the line of fire.
***
You settled out in the courtyard despite the cooling weather. The quiet chatter of the outdoors was worth taking advantage of, even if it left you with a cold. Alone, you finally let out the embarrassed groan you’d been keeping a lid on. Blood rushed to your cheeks and your ears burned. You hated that you fancied someone; worse that it was one of your dear friends. It had hit you all at once. Sitting in the library, later than was respectible, candlelight flickered over his face. In his eyes. You’d just made a lazy joke - not even a good one - and he’d looked up at you with that dreadfully wonderful smile.
You were sure over the past year it’d only gotten worse. Though you did pride yourself on keeping your dramatics to yourself, a part of you had secretly wished someone would notice. Now that they had? Well, you had imagined it being less abrasive and more not humiliating. If only Sirius hadn’t been the one to catch your dreamy look whilst reading. Literally anyone would have been better - actually, not anyone. Lily wouldn’t have brought it up infront of everyone. But, despite James Potter’s fodness for the two, Lily and Sirius were quite different.
You retrieved your book, hoping to read a while before the sky grew dark. Cold wind brushed your hair off your shoulders. Leaves rustled and you imagined the caress of Avonlea’s woods curling around you.
The eyes falling on you went unnoticed as the chapter captured your attention.
***
Remus was not spying.
It was true that y/n had left quite quickly after being prodded and subsequently flirting with Padfoot. It was true that he’d listened intently as she offered information to everyone. He didn’t believe it until she said it, but y/n fancied someone. Set him level with Shakespeare even. It was also true that he’d begrudgingly listened to James and Peter prattle on about how flirtatious she’d been with Pads as soon as the portrait had shut.
“Have you ever seen her flirt before? And like that?” Peter had looked at him with wide eyes. Remus had merely shrugged.
“She was just messing with Sirus’ head. Merlin knows he only thinks with one of them,” Marlene cackled.
“Can you blame me?” Sirius threw out a wicked smile. “Hell, I’ll keep thinking that way if that’s the response it illicits.”
“Despite the puppy having no words?” James teased. Sirius rolled his eyes. Remus couldn’t help but size up his friend in a not-so-friendly way. Could it be possible that this scoundrel was being compared to The Bard?
“She said Shakespeare, James, not tawdry romance writer.”
Thank heavens for Lily Evans. Remus relaxed. He noticed his fingers ache a bit and realized he’d been gripping his book tightly. Some silent deep breaths settled him. Marlene and Dorcus whispered, heads together. Marlene was counting on her fingers - no doubt the two were trying to piece together the puzzle y/n had left. Part of him wanted to. Part of him wanted to forget the whole thing.
“Her lips said Shakespeare, but her body definitely said tawdry romance writer!” James slammed an arm around Sirius, a friendly agreement to Padfoot’s twisting of Lily’s statement. That was as much as he could take.
“Right. I’ve forgotten something in the library. I’ll meet you down at dinner,” Remus stood and stepped out of the common room. After travelling around aimlessly, he noticed the familiar figure from the corridor.
He wasn’t spying. Not at all.
He leaned in one of the archways, just barely peeking around to see her. Across the courtyard, y/n sat comfortably against another carved opening. Her legs lengthened out across the stone, book in hand, eyes crinkling at something on the page. They’d done that together quiet often - get lost in books. He could always rely on her to be a quiet place admist their loud companions. Their friendship didn’t need boasting. He’d always enjoyed that.
A loud crunch halted his thinking. Y/n’s head popped up. Looking down at his feet, under which many fallen leaves laid squished, Remus sliently cursed himself. He quickly hid behind a pillar. He even held his breath. Thoughts rushed through his head; Why was he hiding? It wasn’t like he was spying on you. Why did he have to step on that damn leaf? When did he even begin to move?
“Hello?”
The tall boy held tight to his breath, suddenly afraid to make any movement at all. He could hear y/n getting up from her spot. The book had closed with a muddled thump and her trainers crunched over other strewn about leaves. Remus swore she was just upon him when the clock rang out. Dinner. Her reluctant footsteps backed away from his hiding spot and off into the distance. Remus sighed. He was relieved he hadn’t been caught. The thought occurred to him, furrowing his brow as he shuffled towards the Great Hall.
***
When Remus didn’t sit down next to you at dinner, you immediately became confused. You slid down across from him and flashed a friendly smile.
“This is different.”
He looked up at you. Something strange masked his face. An uncertain itch scratched in the back of your mind - he hadn’t smiled back. You didn’t speak, instead waiting for him and fiddling with your hands as they laid toward the boy across the table.
“Needed some more elbow room,” Remus shrugged. He looked away from you, bringing a book to his face and hiding his lovely eyes. At first, you just stared. Less than a hour ago he was defending you. Now... now you were finding out he’d been bothered by you - you’d been invading his space. With a quick jolt, you yanked your hands back to you. It was painful to realize just how often you had allowed yourself to linger too close. He must have hated it.
By the time your friends had arrived, you were back to the orignial spot you’d taken. You too had buried yourself in a book. Avonlea and Anne’s escapades felt safe and warm in comparison to the cold shoulder. The loud group filled the wide open space between you and Remus, offering the tiniest bit of relief - he was much harder to see in your periphery now that you both were surrounded.
“What are you reading?” Lily set her chin lightly on your shoulder.
“Your love story,” You joked.
Lily laughed and took the book from your hands, “Anne of Green Gables?”
“A fiesty red-head joining a world she wasn’t born into, dealing with a tricky classmate who teases her relentlessly,” You reached over the girl to take the book back, trying not to laugh at the surprise on her face. “The classmate, who is hopelessly in love with her, garners only her stubborn frustration before they finally develop a competitive friendship.”
Lily’s mouth was slightly agape, her cheeks the tiniest bit pink. “I told you,” Your voice was sing-song. “They eventually get married,” You teased, watching her face go white as a sheet. “But that’s not until the fifth book.”
“That is not what is happening,” She whispered. The two of you shared a knowing look before returning to dinner.
A swift kick under the table caused you to yelp in pain. Your book slammed down on the table, eyes angry as they met with Sirius’ pleased face. “What the bloody hell was that for?”
“Your attention, obviously,” He winked.
An exasperated sigh left your lips, “And saying hello, calling my name, anything not involving giving me a bruise, was not going to work because?”
“Cause, bookworm, you were in fantasy land. And not the fun kind.” At this Sirius winked again. Your brows furrowed.
Your next words were cautious, “What do you want?”
“Do I have to want something in order to have your attention?”
“Well, that is usually the only time you want my attention.”
The boy laughed. He seemed dreadfully pleased with your response. It made you nervous. There was no bigger trouble maker than Sirius Black. You kept your finger in place, closing the book around it. He was in a much more collected state than you’d left him in.
“You ask her yet?” Peter called across the table. Your head snapped to the shrimpy boy and back to the scoundrel ahead of you. It took plenty of will not to glance at Remus in between.
“Ask me what?” Your voice was already showing your hand.
“I was easing into that Pete,” Sirius rolled his eyes before looking back at you, “We thought it’d be nice to start a book club of sorts.”
You snickered. The thought of the marauders being part of a book club was preposterous. The only one who you could imagine not making a complete mockery of things was Remus. ...And you weren’t sure Remus wanted to be around you anymore.
“A book club? You’re not joking are you?” Lily’s voice was light with excitement. You looked over at her, noticing James’ enraptured sigh.
Sirius quickly gathered the group’s attention with a few snaps, “Ladies and Gentlement, I, Sirius Black, propose weekly readings of the finest literature known to the wizarding and muggle world alike.” There were many nods and pleased smiles surrounding you. You couldn’t help but feel excited yourself.
“We will begin, of course, with the pride of England himself, Bill Shakespeare!” Sirius went all out with the dramatics.
“William.”
“William.”
At the same time, you and Remus corrected your friend. Your eyes disobeyed you and grazed over him. He hadn’t even looked up from his book. You eyed Peter, then Sirius. Your eyebrows raised, looking for any response from the girls. Lily looked terribly pleased. Marlene seemed interested. Dorcus just shrugged.
“You’re serious?” You asked.
“In more ways than one.”
Everyone groaned at the joke.
“Sorry, bad joke. The point is, you made Shakespeare seem quite interesting. Thought maybe reading would be more fun when everyone has to play a part,” Sirius explained.
“You’ve come up with this idea just because I like Shakespeare?” The words lifted like bubbles in the air. You hadn’t meant to come off so surprised, fragile, but the earlier dismissal by Remus had left you more vulnerable than you expected.
A cheeky smile flashed on Sirus’ face, “Absolutely. Clearly we all need to do our research.”
“Fine,” You rolled your eyes. “It is a proper idea. It’ll culture some of you up,” Sarcasm lingered in your words, causing protests from some of the group. “But I’ll only agree if everyone else does.”
Sirius took your response as a blatant yes. He turned his overwhelming attention away from you. It was a relief. You couldn’t help but look over at Remus. His brown hair sat in ruffled waves, likely having been fluffed whilst reading a particularly tense part of his book. You’d hoped to guage his response to Sirius’ proposition. The irritating itch of disappointment struck the back of your mind once more.
***
“Oh of course this is the one you’d pick to start,” Your shook your head at the play sitting in your lap.
The common room had been rearranged, allowing the group to sit gleefully by the fire as those reading stood ahead of them. Marlene, Dorcus, James, and Sirius had agreed that the readings needed some performance.
“Is it not the most famous? Thought you liked Shakespeare?” Sirius teased.
You sighed. “Yes, it is probably the most famous, but-”
“Doesn’t like this one much. Can’t blame her. It is quite sad.”
You held tight to your breath, forcing yourself to not blush or look at the boy. For a week you had watched Remus drift farther away from you. Where you’d usually have someone to help you walk to class whilst reading, you’d instead bumped into the most unfortunate things. Your late night study sessions were solitary. Dorcas had instantly spotted your dismay. A few times, she, Marlene, and Lily had approached you, hoping to nudge some answers out of you. They’d even sent others to try. You’d barked at James and snubbed Peter. Everyone had failed. You’d covered your crush for a year; you were well prepared to hide the growing pain. Sirius looked at you waiting for your confirmation. You just shrugged and nodded.
“S’alright! Maybe we can make you a fan?” He offered a sly grin.
“Anyway! Let’s pick parts!” Marlene brought everyone to attention.
***
Remus had dreaded the first meeting of Sirius’ ‘book club’. Leading up to it, his three friends had done more preparation than they ever offered their classes. It became a repeated habit. They’d follow him into the library, begging Madam Pince to help them find as many plays as the school had. What should have been peaceful study sessions instead turned into his desperate fight to ignore his friends. The goal of his lonesome studying was to avoid the conversation of y/n’s fixiation on some boy and the sudden emergence of her flirty nature. Peter, James, and Sirius made that impossible.
“What about this one?” James leaned over the table to point a scene out to Sirius. “Seems like ‘wallowing in lily-beds’ could be fun to play out.”
“Prongs, that’s cause you’re thinking of wallowing in Lily’s bed,” Peter groaned. He seemed quite taken with another play.
“Can’t blame a guy,” James rubbed the back of his neck.
Sirius nodded, “Maybe, maybe. I’m thinking y/n requires a bit more romance Prongs. She refused to play Juliet.”
“Well, she doesn’t seem like a love at first sight kind of girl,” Remus mumbled to himself.
“What was that?”
Remus silently cursed. He kept scribbling on his parchment, hoping that the deafening silence would end. When it didn’t, he looked up to find his mates staring at him.
“What did you say?” Sirius prodded. Remus was getting quite irritated with his friends persistence around y/n.
“She doesn’t seem like a love at first sight kind of girl,” He grumbled, loud and clear enough to be understood.
“Who doesn’t?”
The light and bright voice took him by surprise. His breath caught in the back of his throat. He heard the happy hellos from the other boys and lifted his gaze to see y/n. She was still waiting for an answer. She seemed, nervous - eyebrows slightly pinched over startling eyes. Daylight always left her eyes brighter than stars. He couldn’t bear to hold her look for more than one moment. He couldn’t decide whether Padfoot’s engaging with her was releiving or infuriating.
“There’s a girl we know, and we’re unsure if she believes in love at first sight. What would make a girl believe in that?”
Y/n quietly considered the question. When she began, a precious smile curled on her lips, “Luckily for Potter, Lily is not a love at first sight girl. If that helps. At least, not in its traditional sense.” James’ shoulders did relax a bit at her words. Remus couldn’t help but chuckle.
“What do you mean by ‘traditional sense’?” Sirius nudged open a seat, coaxing her to join them with his hand. Remus had seen this gesture before. With deepening concern, he took stock of all the actions of his friend. It led to a horrifying thought - Sirius was trying to court y/n. His thoughts caused him to miss her hesitance, how she’d pulled the chair farther away from the long haired boy.
“Well, I believe there are two kinds of love at first sight. There’s the traditional: the fanciful look across the room, hearts instantly bursting, falling madly in love within moments. Bit much if you ask me. There’s way too much room for error. Though James did well for himself, falling mad for Lil the first time you saw her,” The thoughtful girl’s grin grew as she poked fun at Prongs. The boy covered his bright red face in his arms, only leaving a mess of curls exposed.
“And the second?” Sirius leaned closer, hand propping up his chin. 
Remus, for the first time in days kept his eye firmly locked on her. His quick and hidden glances in class had sufficed until this moment. She looked nervous again. Her eyes darted around the library, fleetingly landing on him, bouncing around until she turned her head to gaze out the window.
“The second...,” She began slowly, “Isn’t about physically seeing. But more seeing with your heart. Looking at someone you’ve known for years and feeling as though you are seeing them anew. The tiniest and most delicate of changes having marked the clear path of your descent into adoration, unbeknownst to you until you don’t just look, you see. Your heart doesn’t burst because it isn’t too much all at once. Its the revelation that all that love has been there all along...” Her voice carried, a melody on an imagined breeze. Remus forgot how to speak. His chest burned terribly and his fingers felt numb. When did she start talking like that? His mooning was cut short by the black-nailed, ring-clad hand rubbing her shoulder. 
The girl’s dreamy moment crashed around her and she jumped at Sirius’ touch. Her face burned heavily before she covered it and laughed. The laughter bent her closer to his friend. Remus’s stare turned cold, focused on the lingering hand that was rubbing y/n’s arm. Sirius looked over at the other marauders, winking and sporting another wicked smile. Remus could have exploded.
***
Laughing was the only way out of the mess you’d just gotten yourself into. Embarrassment at the vulnerable moment took root deep in your stomach. In truth, you had sounded a bit like a writer yourself. One momentary glimpse of Remus had been all you needed to wax poetically instead of just simply stating your thoughts. The jolt of Sirius pulling you back to the real world had scared the giggles out of you.
“Sor- sorry. Was a bit lost there. Erm- didn’t mean to be that dramatic. My book must be rubbing off on me,” Your embarassment lingered as your laughter died away. “Last time that happened I-” 
You cut your sentence off, having turned to speak to Remus. You’d been hoping to see his face light up with recognition; all the times he’d teased you for speaking with so much melancholy after a month of reading Poe. Instead, you found a hard, stony gaze. The words died on your lips and you immediately stood up. You were invading his space again. He didn’t want you there. Your jaw clenched together, trying desperately to hide the pain that resonated in your chest.
“Nevermind,” Your voice came out flat. “Best leave you to your studies.”
“Oh don’t just leave us with all that poetry and no help!” Sirus whined. You shook your head. You stopped to examine the open plays.
“Well, here’s your problem,” You snatched Macbeth out of Peter’s hand, “You’re still picking tragedies. We’ve read Romeo & Juliet, Othello, Hamlet. You aren’t going to convince Lily to snog James when her character is bound to die. You’ve got to pick a comedy.”
James gave you an odd look, “You think I should try and make her laugh?”
“No dimwit. Comedy is just a classification. Not all of them are funny. They’re comedies because they have a happy ending. And usually weddings,” You tacked on the last bit with a bit of confusion. You’d never fully understood that trope.
“Weddings is good!”
A small chuckle slipped past your lips at James’ words. You couldn’t help but give one last glance to the newfound stranger in your dearest friend’s clothes. Everything about him was familiar and lovely, despite the icy countenance you had somehow brought upon yourself. Your feet felt heavy as you searched through the shelves. Instead of staying, you heaved a stack of books into your arms and trudged back to the common room. The door to your dormitory was already wide open, Marlene and Dorcus chatting away.
“There you are!” Dorcas wrapped an arm around you as you joined the fold.
“We’ve figured out who Shakespeare is!” Marlene squealed. You just shook your head.
“I highly doubt it,” You muttered.
Lily looked up from her desk, eyes narrowing on you. She raised an eye brow, holding a secret conversation with the other two girls. She finally asked, “What happened?”
“Nothing, nothing. I’m alright,” You lied.
Marlene wasn’t having it, “Okay lets try that again. What happened?”
“Am I... do I bother you at all?” You rubbed your palms into your knees as you spoke.
“You’re bloody annoying with this whole ‘I’m hiding my crush from my friends’ bit,” Dorcas laughed. Then she saw your face. “Oh love, no no. You are not a bother to us.”
“Why would you ever believe that?” Lily sat next to you on your bed.
You took a deep breath before answering. Despite everything, you couldn’t let them know you fancied Remus. How many friendships would you ruin just by admitting that fact, let alone trying to pursue it? Knowing you felt steady, you answered, “Well. Few weeks ago Remus told me in a nice way that I’d been intruding on his space. Usually we walk to classes together, share notes, study. Didn’t think it was a problem until he said something. So I’ve left him alone. But in the library... all the boys were there and they asked me a question and after I sat down and answered it, he looked so angry. And I don’t know what I’ve done to make him not want me around.”
The girls crowded around you, rubbing circles into your arms and back. Their embraces were sweet and they quietly reassured you that you couldn’t have done anything wrong.
“Just keep thinkin’ on your sweet Shakespeare. Don’t let Moony get you down,” Dorcas gave your shoulders a tight squeeze.
“Yes. Of course,” You nodded, feigned relief in your voice, “Shakespeare.”
***
You were trying to skip the upcoming reading. Surprisingly, your friends truly seemed to enjoy reading out the plays. Part of you wanted to bask in the glory of being the cause of such great fun, but that part was small in comparison to the other; filling slowly and constantly with sorrow as your own Shakespeare disappeared from your life. You saw Remus everywhere, but he was no longer taking a role in your story. Burning despair grew each time you realized he didn’t want you around. It had grown worse. At first he’d been able to stand hours in your company. Now, he was itching to leave the moment you were in his presence.
“I haven’t been feeling well the past few days. The last few months have been rough, so much homework and setting aside one night a week to read the next play has gotten me off my schedule. I’m drowning. I just need a night off.”
Though honest, the exhaustion in your voice wasn’t from work. You hated lying to your friends. You had been ahead on assignments since the start of term. But you couldn’t very well say ‘Remus Lupin, the one my heart burns for, has completely discarded our friendship, leaving me not only yearning for unrequited love but with an aching loneliness. Therefore, please don’t make me sit in a room with him as he continues to hate me so loudly.’ 
“Drowning? Didn’t I mention you’d be a lovely Ophelia?” Sirius swooped around so he could face you while walking.
“Starting to understand her better every day,” You muttered.
Sirius reached for your hand, which you didn’t fight. His flirting had become boring at this point. Just another thing you had to deal with. “My dearest y/n, hast thou been spurned by thine love so’st secret?”
“Thy. It should be: hast thou been spurned by thy love so’st secret,” You corrected and took your hand back.
“He has, hasn’t he? Shakespeare’s screwed up!” Sirius said with a laugh.
You huffed, walking away. You didn’t need Sirius Black to be making fun of you. It was bad enough that he got a part of Remus and you didn’t. “It’s not funny.”
“Hey, hey. I’m sorry, okay? S’just the sun and moon set on this guy for you; I’ve been wondering when he was going to slip up,” Sirius shrugged at your side. You didn’t respond. “How ‘bout we make today short. Push the play to next week and come up with something else? You’ll be off boring yourself to death in no time.” He grinned wildly at you, his eyebrows raised waiting on your answer.
“Dunno,” You slumped against a wall, “I don’t know if I have it in me, Sirius.”
“Just come. Maybe we can reignite that fire of yours,” The boy was leaning over you, pirate smile half hidden by the hair falling in his face. Your eyes rolled at his cheeky actions.
“Okay.”
***
The library felt lonely. Or maybe it was him. Maybe it was Remus who felt lonely. It had been two months since Sirius had announced to everyone that y/n was fancying someone, two months since she’d openly flirted with his best friend, two months that he’d kept as far away from her as he could. His whole body lit up in flames when she was around. Just remembering the brushes of their legs at meals or arms when studying sent shivers down his spine. He hadn’t been within five feet of her on purpose and yet she monopolized every waking thought. He’d even dreamt of y/n. Remus was so deeply lost in thought that he missed the trio of boys joining him. It wasn’t until a hand was waving in front of his face that he took in his new deskmates.
“Earth to Moony! Your friends are in dire need of your help,” Sirius beamed.
“Pads, I am trying to work. Why do you insist on interrupting my studying?” Remus groaned.
“He sounds like y/n,” Peter pointed out.
“Which is the exact reason I need his expert advice Wormtail!” Sirius slung an arm around the smaller boy. Remus felt dread spreading through his chest. He shook his head, sandy hair falling into his eyes.
“C’mon Remus, you ought to know her better than any of us,” Peter nudged. “Sirius tell him about the leaning thing. Then he’ll understand!”
“What leaning thing?”
“Ah yes,” Sirus leaned his chair back. His smile was overtly smug. “I took the time to walk y/n to Arithmancy today. She was quite pouty. Told me she didn’t want to come to our book club tonight. Said she was drowning in homework-”
“That can’t be true,” Remus blurted out. The boys all turned to look at him. He shrugged it off, “She starts getting ahead on assignments the first week.”
Sirius nodded, pointing happily at him, “See, I also thought something was odd about that. Me, being suave as always, focused on ‘drowning’ and reminded her of how I thought she’d be a lovely Ophelia-”
“That’s because you originally wanted to be Hamlet,” James pointed out.
“Besides the point. When I said that, y/n said she understood Ophelia now! It seems her beloved Shakespeare is losing his footing,” Sirius sighed, pleased.
“And?”
“I made a joke. She corrected my grammar, but not the sentiment. She’s been spurned!”
“Should you really be so happy about that?” James asked the question that was on the tip of Remus’ tongue.
Peter piped up, “Just tell them about the lean!”
“Okay, okay. She got miffed, but I just explained I didn’t believe someone could be so great and that I was sorry. I told her I’d find a way to keep tonight short. She stopped and stood against the wall. Said she didn’t know if she had it in her and-”
“And Sirius said ‘maybe we can reignite that fire of yours’ while leaning over her on the wall! Man’s a genius,” Peter finished for Sirius.
“What did she say?”
“She said ‘okay’. Not as enthusiatic as I’d like, but that is why I need your help, my well read friend,” Sirius dropped the chair back onto its front legs. “I have to come up with something more enticing than our plays that will get her wanting to keep book club and forget about the stupid git she fancies.”
“Why?”
This took the rest of the boys by surprise. But Remus had to know. He’d seen his friend’s flirtations end in messy arguments and broken hearts. Though he loved Sirius like a brother, the last thing he wanted was y/n becoming a casualty of Padfoot’s conquests. Peter looked on, wide eyed. James was looking from Remus to Sirius and back.
“What can I say?” Sirius chuckled, “Always found her attractive. Decided she’d be a nice little chase that day she practically eye-fucked me in front of you all.”
“She didn’t eye-fuck you,” James interrupted. “She just checked you out.”
“The point still stands. Since this mystery man is letting her down, she won’t be looking for anything serious. And who better to help her get over this dolt?”
Remus’ blood boiled. “And completely ruin your friendship? Possibly all of our friendships?”
“It hasn’t gotten that far yet,” James eased the tension, shooting a slightly confused look at Remus. “Let’s focus on keeping the book club going. Evans is so close to kissing me. I just know it.” At least Remus could count on James to be just as lovelorn as he was.
“Don’t know why you’re so stiff. You haven’t spoken to her in weeks Moons,” Sirius rolled his eyes.
Remus’ thought drifted back to what y/n had said to Sirius. She felt like Ophelia... alone, abandoned. His chest ached, He could just see the darkened look in her eyes, leaving them dull. Y/n hated to show when she was hurting, but anyone looking, really looking, could tell. His own lonliness offered an irrational thought - maybe she missed him. He rubbed the space between his eyebrows, pushing off a headache. “Just been busy.”
“Back to the predicament. What do we do about tonight?” Peter snapped everyone back to the task at hand.
“Sonnets,” Remus said plainly.
“Sonnets! Moony you’re a genius! What’s a sonnet?”
James broke into loud laughter. Peter followed. Even Remus had to chuckle. Madam Pince shushed their group with a sharp scowl.
“Sorry Madam. We’ve just had a revelation. Would you be a dear and direct me to any of Shakespeare’s sonnets we have here?” Sirius flirted with the woman. She pointed to the small poetry section in the back corner and stormed away. Peter and Sirius ran off, leaving James and Remus to wait.
“Will you help me pick something to read? I’d like to impress Lily,” James asked softly. Remus relaxed and nodded. “I could help you pick something as well,” James continued, “If there’s anyone you’d like to impress... or out-do...”
Remus stiffened. “I don’t believe I know what you’re talking about,” He cleared his throat.
“Guess I am wrong. Could’ve sworn you were mad at Padfoot for pursuing y/n,” James mumbled. Remus considered showing his hand to James. James Potter who had been in love with Lily Evans since they’d first met, he’d understand the predicament Remus had gotten himself into. But when Remus went to speak, the words died in his throat.
“Well, maybe I could just help Pads pick something dreadful,” James suggested. Remus didn’t say anything, but the little smile on his face was answer enough.
***
Y/n was tucked in one of the small alcoves when the boys entered for the night’s gathering. A blanket was wrapped tightly around her, teacup in hand as she flipped the pages of a book. She had to be on the third or fourth book of that series at this point. She was alone. Remus eyed the empty chair opposite her.
“Sirius can I have the book? I’d like y/n’s help,” James asked. There insued a game of keep away. Remus kept shushing them, even though he knew that y/n could get sucked into a novel in the loudest places.
James succeeded. He ordered the rest of the boys to get things set up, the hour almost upon them. Remus quietly agreed. He’d never helped before. He’d always shown up just as they began in order to limit his time watching Sirius make passes on the shy girl. Today, he obliged the request and took up post closest to the alcove.
“Could I get your help?” James had plopped into the empty chair.
“With what?”
“I’d like to impress Lily. I, well I’m going to read this, but I need some tips,” James opened the book and slid it across. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw her nose scrunch up in a giddy grin.
“Well, you’ve already gotten yourself to a great start. Sonnet eighteen is by far, one of the most romantic of the sonnets.”
“Remus helped me pick it.”
“Of course he did.”
Remus’ heart flipped in his chest. Once again, that dreamy melody had lingered in her voice. He glued his eyes to the chair he was moving. It took all his power to not stare, drink in her every detail. His hands felt sweaty and his ears felt hot. The tall boy suddenly dropped the chair into place and rushed up and out of the common room. Inside the dormitory was cool and dark. Remus didn’t feel the relief he’d hoped to find. Soft cotton sheets stung his skin. He couldn’t relax, the silence too empty. It was denial that flooded his mind and reassured him that his normal affinity for quiet had nothing to do with y/n. His arm absentmindedly reached for the books on his nightstand. Within moments he was reading over the patterned words and telling himself it was just for pleasure, not practice.
***
He hates me.
The thought echoed so loudly in your head that you nearly let a tear slip. You knew it had to have been your words, your stupid little sigh over him, that sent him storming out of the common room. Your eyes trained blankly on the table before you. Your stomach was hurting again.
“Y/n?”
“Right, sorry. The first thing is to not let your focus be so heavily on the rhyme. This was written ages ago and some of the pronunciation just doesn’t work. Iambic pentameter is all about stressed versus unstressed syllables-”
“Sound like I’ll get on with the stressed ones tonight,” James joked, hand rubbing the back of his neck.
You couldn’t help but smile. Lily was so lucky to have someone this devoted. “Relax lover boy. You’ll be fine. It’s a rhythm. Like a heartbeat. Ta dum, ta dum, ta dum. Try it.”
James cleared his throat.
“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day.”
“Good. Now not so mechanical. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day.”
James repeated your words, matching each little inflection. His voice shook a bit.
“Prongs, do you think Lils is lovelier than summertime?” You asked, taking the focus away from his reading.
“Course. She’s much better.”
“That is the sentiment of the whole poem. That summer fades, and she won’t. That she’s more wonderful than anything nature could offer. Let that bursting heart of yours explain itself without having to use your own words,” You couldn’t help but get a bit caught up as you spoke. James nodded, still nervous but clearly feeling more prepared. You tapped the page and spun your finger around in a circle. The boy nodded, beginning to silently practice the entire poem. 
It wasn’t much longer before the evening commenced. You’d hid yourself amongst the girls, forcing Lily to sit beside James. Though your own heart was in consistent turmoil, you still hoped to plot out a happy ending for your two friends. Marlene and Dorcas took the first turns, subsequently laughing through the pattern and questioning Shakespeare’s motives.
“Telling me this man think’s all I’m good for is some damn reproduction?” Dorcas cackled.
“Can’t say anyone would hate practicing with you Dorcas,” Marlene giggled. Those two would be heading down an explicit rabbit hole if no one stopped them.
“Sirius, why don’t you go?” Peter called out. The fiendish boy obliged, pretending he was being applauded by many.
The boy cleared his throat dramatically and began, “Whoever hath her wish, thou hast thy Will.”
Your eyes widened. You covered your mouth with a hand, fully in disbelief. Your eyes darted across your friends. James seemed particularly pleased. And Remus, who’d taken residence at the farthest corner from you, pressed his lips into a firm line - he knew too. You tried to stay composed. The boy finished, bowing elegantly as if he hadn’t just gone through stanzas begging for sex.
“Did you not like it?” His eyes were trained on you. As were the rest of the groups.
“It was orated nicely,” You began, “But Sirius did you take the time to understand it?” Your voice was betraying you. Swallowed laughter shook each word.
“What do you mean? Of-of course I know what it’s about!” You rolled your eyes at the childish outburst from the boy.
“So you intended on reading the one sonnet where Shakespeare is literally begging this woman to have sex with him?”
The room exploded in laughter. Sirius’ face grew red with embarrassment before he drew his fox-like demeanor back together. “I’ve never had to beg for sex before. Wanted to see what it was like.” 
You ignored his provocative tone and watched as Lily snatched the book and picked something to read. As with everything she did, she was proficient. The evening continued, Peter electing to recite a piece about time and Marlene picking a particularly cruel one to read when James’ nerves got the best of him. You gave him a reassuring smile when he did stand to speak. While his eyes stayed trained on the book, you watched Lily and the bit of heat that raised as he spoke. When he finished, the two shared a tender glance. Part of you was jealous. You couldn’t help it. Not for the curly headed boy, but the courage he’d always had to reach for your friend. And of her, being so lovely as to inspire the genuine effort that typically eluded James Potter. You were so caught up in thought that you missed the group turn to you.
“Did I say something outloud?” You asked.
“No, that is why we’re waiting,” Sirius winked, again.
“For what?”
“It’s your turn,” James held out the book.
You shook your head, stuttering for a response, “I-I couldn’t. No, no, oh no. You, you really don’t want to hear me. I’m not a good, good reader.”
“That’s a lie!” Dorcas yelped.
“You’re always so lovely reading in the plays. Don’t know why you’ve been shying from bigger parts,” Marlene pinched your cheek.
“C’mon. S’just one little sonnet,” Sirius purred.
Lily put her hand on yours, giving a direct and sincere look, “You always say that catharsis is the most important part of the play. Might as well see if you can get there?”
Your heart nearly broke right then and there. The red-headed girl had that knowing look in her eye. You were fairly certain she’d be the one to piece together your heartwrenching situation. Still, you hoped she was still a few steps behind you.
“Okay. Just don’t make me stand up there all by myself,” You took the book in your hand and began to search the aged pages.
“I’ll stand up there with you!” Sirius volunteered. Your brows reached for one another and Lily came to your rescue.
“Let her just sit here. We can all sit and be cozy by the fire.”
Your fingers brushed over the printed words. There were more than enough poems to express your overwhelming fancy, but you focused instead on the few that spoke for the longing weighing on your chest. You showed the pages to Lily and let her pick. The book sat steady in your hand, your heart thundering as you took unsteady breaths, and with an anxious view of Remus right outside your eyeline, you began.
“My love is a fever longing still,
For that which nutures the disease;
Feeding on that which doth perserve the ill,
The uncertain sickly appetite to please.
My reason, the physician to my love,
Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,
Hath left me, and I deperate now approve
Desire is death, which physic did except.
Past cure I am, now Reason is past care,
And frantic-mad with evermore unrest;
My thoughts and my discourse as madmen’s are,
At random from the truth vainly expressed;
For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright,
Who art as black as hell, as dark as night.”
The crackling fire was all the response you recieved. Sorrow sat still in your chest, rooted and unmoving despite your try. You didn’t dare look at anyone, but handed off the book.
“That was a bit darker than I expected,” Sirius chuckled awkwardly.
“Well, I picked it. She just made the story clear. Maybe another...” Lily snapped back at the rascal. The book came back much too quickly. Another of the hearbroken verses stared back at you.
“Dear, please. Entreat us with another. You’re much more suited to this than us fools,” Dorcas gave a weak smile.
“I don’t know...” Your hands gripped tight to one another. The fire caught in bronze eyes, looking at you with either expectation or the preamble of frustration. You couldn’t be sure.
“Just one and we can be done, if you want.”
Frustration. Your eyes closed in the wake of the boy’s words. You nodded silently, hands shaking as you lifted to read once more. Catching your lip in your teeth, you settled your heartache by supplying another pain.
“Farewell! thou art too dear for my possessing,
And like enough thou know’st thy estimate,
The charter of thy worth gives thee releasing;
My bonds in thee are all determinate.
For how do I hold thee but by thy granting?
And for that riches where is my deserving?
The cause of this fair gift in me is wanting,
And so my patent back again is swerving.
Thy self thou gavest, thy own worth then not knowing,
Or me to whom thou gav’st it else mistaking;
So thy great gift, upon misprision growing,
Comes home again, on better judgement making.
Thus have I had thee, as a dream doth flatter.
In sleep a king, but waking no such matter.”
***
All Remus desired the moment y/n finished reading, was to hold her tight in his arms. She’d hid the tiniest tremble of her lip, biting down harshly as she finished and shoving the book into Sirius’ hands. He watched her gather herself up and peel away from the group.
“Sorry to take up your time,” She spoke quietly to him, not meeting his eye, before rushing up the stairs. His stomach hurt. He felt like he’d been knocked over by one of his friends. Sirius and James would do that frequently when his monthly counterpart got a bit out of hand.
“Alright what has gotten into you?” Marlene’s voice raised, heated.
“Sorry? Thought the point was tonight would be short,” Remus turned to look at Sirius. “That’s what you said.”
Marlene ignored his excuse, “You’ve turned into a foul git, you know that?”
The afront was more than Remus understood. “I haven’t done anything. I didn’t intend for her to run off.”
“Surely, you realize she thinks you’re finished with your friendship. You haven’t spoken in weeks. When you have, you’ve grumbled and growled. Even if she really is getting on your nerves, Remus, I expected you to be nicer about it,” Lily’s face was feirce. She had stood and was looking down on him in complete disappointment.
“I-I don’t know what you mean,” Remus looked away, guilt curling his shoulders.
“C’mon Moons. Just make up with her. She’s not going to want to go out with me if my best friend hates her,” Sirius groaned.
“And you say I’m the git?” Remus pointed harshly to Sirius, raising his eyebrows indignantly at the girls.
“Right. That is enough.” James stood between his friend as his beloved Lily. “Clearly something has caused some tension. Now, we know that things aren’t going to fix overnight. I suggest we all go to bed and cool off. Next week, we will all try and spend some time chatting and smoothing things over. And you,” James pointed right into Remus’ chest, “Will be participating in the reading next week. No buts. Acting all uppity about something y/n enjoys is not very kind.”
Remus wrapped his arms around himself, feeling childish and downtrodden. He hadn’t thought what his removal from y/n would cause. He didn’t expect Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas to notice, let alone have been told how she felt. Ophelia. Abandoned. His heart was a stone in his chest, weighing down until he couldn’t breathe. Laying flat on his bed and staring at the ceiling, he allowed every thought of y/n to encapsulate him. She’d apologized to him for taking up his time. Lily said she’d been sure he no longer desired the friendship - that y/n thought she’d been bothering him. His scarred hands drug across his face. What would he do? He couldn’t be near y/n without wanting to take her in his arms and confess his blubbering adoration. He also couldn’t be near her without wanting to deck his dog of a friend. Maybe he should have taken James’ offer. Maybe y/n would have responded to his sonnet reading just as Lily had for James...
“Moony?” James called out in the dark. “Still up?”
“Still up,” He answered.
“You’re a catch, you know?” James spoke softly. Remus didn’t answer, too confused by what he’d heard. “And much more suited to her than Padfoot.”
“Lily blushed. By the way. The whole time you were reading,” Remus offered - his way to say thank you.
***
You were much more careful as the next weeks passed. Thankful that quidditch practices had interfered with the book club, you sequestered yourself far from your friends. Madame Pince had shown you a lone study corral hidden away in the library that you could use. Many nights a week you’d go straight there after dinner, holed up with massive stacks around you to muffle your sniffles. You’d started over your reading, preferring the sweet and childish antics of Anne of Green Gables to the more overtly romantic sequels. You couldn’t start the fifth book no matter how hard you’d tried. In fact, you’d stopped before finishing the fourth - you couldn’t bear to read as Anne and Gilbert finally got engaged. It just didn’t feel fair.
Just after classes you drug your body up to your dorm, painfully aware that the book club meeting was swiftly approaching.
“Are you excited that we’re finally getting back to reading?” Dorcas smiled. She’d taken to twisting her hair in intricate plaits, causing her hair to reveal its true length. 
“Not sure. I really appreciate that all of you decided to try the plays out based off of my personal attachment. But I feel a bit guilty. There’s other things that you’d like to read or do together, I’m sure. Why don’t we move on from Shakespeare?” You gave a weak smile. You weren’t looking forward to watching Remus wince at your voice, refuse to look at you. You hoped things would cool off if your friends would stop spotlighting your interests.
“Not now! They’ve finally gotten a fun one for us!” Marlene whined. You noticed she also looked lovely, hair pinned into a fancy bun. You turned to Lily and confirmed your suspicion, she too was looking quite charming.
“Have I missed something?” A small laugh escaped your lips.
Lily just smiled, “What do you mean?”
“You’re all positively gussied up?” You laughed. Afraid you may have come off as rude, you added, “Of course you’re truly splendid! But what is the occasion?”
“We’ve been inspired by the play tonight,” Dorcas had a sparkle in her eye. She grabbed your hands, pulling you to sit at her desk. “It is full of enchantment and-”
“Therefore we’ve decided to be enchanting!” Marlene finished her phrase.
“Alright, you’ve got my interest. What are we reading tonight?” You couldn’t help but beam at your friends and their dramatics. Dorcas had taken to messing with your hair. It was quite soothing. Your eyes dipped closed as you relaxed.
“A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” Lily answered.
“Really? That’s wonderful! It is quite fun,” Your eyes popped open. All three girls smiled back at you.
“Good, because James and I already divvied out the parts,” Lily gave your hand a squeeze. Dorcas was playing with your hair again and Marlene was rumaging around your trunk. Suspicion floated like a bubble before your eyes. Lily raised an eyebrow to appraise your response, “My dear Helena, how may we prepare you for act one?”
You warred within yourself. Being Dorcas and Marlene’s dress-up doll was quite fun. They doted on you in such a giddy manner that it was easy to get swept up. However, the nervewracking weight of a large role, even if it was one of your favorite plays, was causing you to nearly break apart. One thought was persistent above all else: what would Remus think?
The common room was alight with floating candles. Vines were curled across the ceiling and down the fireplace. You were awestruck at the sight. The group had outdone themselves.
“What do you think?” Sirius grinned up at you. He’d dressed in a puffy shirt and looked more like a pirate than ever.
“It’s truly enchanting,” You admitted.
“Better be. I didn’t do all this planning and convincing Evans to fake marry me for nothing,” James wiped a bit of sweat from his brow. He had on his quidditch cape. You watched as he noticed Lily and tried to not go slackjawed. Twisting away from the attention, you nestled down next to the fire. You fiddled nervously with the edges of your own flowing skirt. You couldn’t help but try and take count of each person’s role. James would be playing Theses as well as Puck, Lily was Hypolita and the other fairies, Peter would be juggling many if not every ‘players’ role, Dorcas was set to be the queen of fairies, Marlene was Hermia. Your mind lingered on the two roles you’d be reading with most, unsure of whether Sirus or Remus had been set as your- Helena’s Demetrius.
A wolf whistle took you out of your thoughts. You turned to see the strapping boy, neatly dressed and hair perfectly placed. You hated how captivated he left you. It was the candlelight. The candlelight in his gilded eyes.
James and Sirius crowded Remus, howling their approval of his entrance. You were able to break your stare, hiding your bright red cheeks in the light of the fire.
***
Remus had never been angrier at James. Or Lily. Or anyone. The whole beginning of the damned play had consisted of nothing but Remus’ character rebuking the love of y/n’s. After hearing her quiet voice, he knew whatever his friends were trying to do had failed. Not that he had agreed with James that playing y/n’s love interest would be beneficial. No, in truth he was sure he’d said no to the whole foolish gambit... at least until Sirius found a few lines of which he thought he’d try and steal a kiss if he could play Demetrius, then Remus begrudgingly agreed to the role.
An hour and a quarter in, they elected to take a break. The end of the second act had sent Sirius on a swarthy rampage - his character being under a love potion directed towards y/n. He’d been just as infuriating as Remus had expected. He’d chased her around the common room, catching and tickling her as the scene ended. Her surprised giggles had stabbed into Remus’ chest. He’d begun to excuse himself when her irritated tone took him by surprise.
“Get off Sirius. You’re being a menace.”
“C’mon y/n, it’s just a bit of fun,” Sirius was laying the charm on thick.
“Hands off. I’m not one of your little girlfriends,” She spoke plainly. It was music to Remus’ ears.
Sirius was undeterred, “You could be, you know?”
Remus’ heart pounded against his chest, shamelessly watching the interaction and awating her answer. Now sitting by the fire, cup of tea steaming past her nose, she seemed to contemplate the insinuation. Then she laughed. 
He devoured the sight. Her hair gleamed in the firelight, falling in luscious curls down her shoulders and back. She’d kicked her legs out from underneath her skirt, the soft fabric pooling mid-thigh. The too-large sweater she sported had shifted off one shoulder and the shadow of her slender neck was projected onto the wall behind her. She was radiant.
“That is not going to happen.”
Remus could have kissed her right then.
***
As the intermission ran long, James slipping off to nip snacks and drinks, your comfort seemed to fluctuate. Every moment with Remus felt subtly charged. You held tight to the desperate aching in your chest, not wanting so much truth to come out as Helena pined for Demetrius. He seemed softer towards you, even as the harsh rhyming insults had left his lips. You’d found it quite easy to lament your unrequited love after watching him for months. Sirius had you fending off advances, moreso now that his own role was under a love spell. Dorcas had come to your rescue with some contrived argument for Sirius to have with Marlene. You took the opportunity to finish your tea and mask your glances across the room. For the first time in too long, you saw Remus smiling. He, James, and Lily seemed particularly tickled about something. They were speaking in hushed tones, their words masked by the crackling fire beside you. Your head turned away quickly. You couldn’t risk being caught and ruining the night - you were really trying not to be annoying.
Peter offered a short recap before the reading began again. The stout boy then ran around frantically, causing quite the riotous laughter from the group as he played a scene practically by himself. You noticed the laughter ease your shoulders and allowed yourself to get excited as you and Sirius returned to the spotlight. You were having fun, pushing away his overacted advances.
And then Demetrius awakened, so Remus stood up and stood on your otherside. Immediately diving into the verse with a ferver you didn’t recognize, all you could do was stare. If you didn’t know better, you might have thought he actually meant the amorous words. You finally broke away your shocked gaze, reading ahead to not miss a line. The oncoming speech was lengthy and the words began to turn strange in your mind. Your eyes flicked back up, between the two boys. Suddenly you realized, Sirius had skipped you and was going even further with his dramatics. Remus responded in kind. You slowly looked back at the scene, trying to get your footing when your eyes landed flat upon Helena’s words: ‘And now both rivals, to mock Helena’.
Everything around you seemed to slow. The puzzle pieces began to fit together. Sirius telling everyone you were romantically compromised, Remus immediately pushing you away, everyone’s sureity that they knew who fancied. And tonight: Remus’ improved mood in your presence, why Sirius had been plaguing you with flirtation, why James and Lily had made the two boys take these roles. Why everyone was laughing... You didn’t want to believe it, but when you looked to Remus, an unfamiliar glint was in his eye. Sirius smiled a voracious smile.
“You are making fun of me.”
“That’s not the line?” Sirius chuckled.
You held as tight to the tears as you could. You knew another moment in the boys’ presence and they would fall unrestrained. You looked at Lily, unable to comprehend what could have caused your friends to humiliate you.
“S-sor-sorry. I-” That was all you could choke out. The book dropped from your hand and you scrambled up the stairs.
***
“What just happened?” Sirius asked loudly.
“I’ve made an awful mistake,” Lily covered her mouth, her eyes shining with horror. Remus watched as she too got up and left without another word. Dorcas and Marlene whispered to one another, recognition dawning on their faces. James nervously tapped his wand against his leg.
“Are we done for the night?” Peter asked.
“Yes, we sure are,” Dorcas shot an unearthly scowl towards James, Sirius, and then Remus.
“Clean up.” Marlene purposefully pushed past Remus and then Sirius.
The four boys were left alone, the energy of their friendly event now dispersed in favor of confusion and pain. Remus couldn’t help but recall the look on y/n’s face. Utter betrayal. She’d had tears in her eyes.
“James, what happened?”
Remus hadn’t meant to growl. However, now that he had, it felt like the appropriate response. James just shook his head over and over. Sirius was looking between the two, clearly beginning to take notice of something.
“I don’t know what happened. I gave Lily the play idea... I don’t know what went wrong,” The boy removed his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose.
“I do,” Peter shrugged.
All three boys turned to look at him.
“Y/n literally said you two were making fun of her. That isn’t the line, but that is what Helena thinks is happening in the play. She read through everything while you two went back and forth. She thinks you were pranking her - probably about that bloke she fancies.”
Remus felt defeated. He didn’t think he could feel any worse. He dropped into the sofa, hands scraping through his hair.
“This is great!” Sirius randomly rejoiced.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Oh Moony,” A michevious grin stretched taut between curtains of dark hair, “Don’t you see?” Sirius dropped the play onto the boy’s lap. He strut about the room. “Helena is only so upset because she has feelings for Demetrius! That’s why she thinks they’re making fun of her.”
“What is your point Pads?”
“Shakespeare is sitting in this room Moony. Our dear sweet y/n has eyes for either you, or me.”
As soon as Padfoot said it, Remus learned he could feel worse.
***
“Y/n?” Lily’s voice was soft. You didn’t turn to look at her, electing to stare into the night as tears leaked down your cheeks. The stone next to the window was cool and helped ease the headache that was coming on.
“Y/n I’m so sorry. I never intended to poke fun at you.” You felt Lily’s hands smoothing over your hair. Instinctively, your arms tightened around your body. “James was adamant that we could get you and Remus to be friends again with this play. I didn’t realize it could have been one of their pranks - I should have.”
You felt the tears coming faster. The door creaked open, the pitying sighs of Marlene and Dorcas landing on your ears. With one foul swoop the three girls had wrapped you tightly in their arms. No one spoke. You allowed your heart to break, not explaining it, and accepted the understanding of the incredible girls around you. You weren’t sure how you ended up in bed. You assumed that Lily had taken charge of your care. Cuddled under multiple blankets, you heard the concerned whispers as tears lulled you to sleep.
“I can’t believe Potter convinced you to make her that poor girl. Lovelorn and made fun of, all to do the exact thing.”
“I should have read the whole thing before tonight.”
“Why’d you agree to having her go with Remus?”
“James assured me that Remus wanted to make up with her. That y/n would be so pleased to see him happy to join in.”
“Well, she seemed pleasantly surprised at first-”
“Until they started showing their asses. Did you see her face when she realized what they were doing?”
“I could kill all of them.”
“Except we can’t.”
“Why not!”
“Because of her face. Marls, she was heartbroken.”
“Bloody hell.”
“Now I’m really going to kill them.”
***
You successfully avoided any interactions in the common room. You’d snuck yourself to classes, digging into crowds like a thistle and taking seats as far as possible from where you knew the boys would be. It was ironic that your disappearing act had much to do with the boy you were avoiding. Each backway into a classroom, each hidden route from class to class, had been shown to you by none other than Remus Lupin. Your dread at being late for class, and the one occasion when a classmate had become quite creepy towards you, had created the need. Each time you slipped through a secret passage, you couldn’t help but notice a twinge in your chest. Everything reminded you of Remus. And thinking of Remus reminded you how much he hated you.
You were lucky to escape at all. The persistence of the bloody marauders was exhausting. Sirius threw things at you in Transfiguration and hissed loud whispers at you in Charms. Throughout the day, little gifts would appear on the desk. You weren’t sure what was worse, that you couldn’t make it stop or that the gifts were truly lovely.
Potions class proved difficult. Peter, working as a go-between, kept bringing you notes and trying to ask you questions.
“Y/n?”
“Peter. If you keep trying to give her things I won’t just vanish it, I’ll set it on fire in your hands,” Marlene snapped. The poor boy squeaked and skittered back to his desk.
“Lily, Y/n, my dears,” Professor Slughorn waved you to his desk.
“Yes sir?” You both responded.
The old man grinned, enjoying two of his favorite students, “Would you two lend a hand to the gentlemen in the back? Seeing as you’ve already been successful, per usual.”
Reflexively, you turned to look at the students who required your help. You felt your composed mask slip. A piercing gaze locked tight to you. You turned back to Lily, headache beginning to reform.
“You help James,” Lily gave you a nod.
“Stop, you’re going to burn yourself.”
“Y/n-”
“One more shell.”
“You should know that-
“No don’t do that! It’ll explode.”
“Oh buggar. Thanks. What I’m trying to tell you is-”
“There.”
Your whispers to James were direct and quiet. Your face stayed nestled in the book, making sure you kept your eyes far from the tall boy speaking quietly with Lily. As soon as the potion was done, you hiked up your bag, said a polite goodbye to Slughorn, and ducked out.
It was out of the cauldron and into the fire.
“Dearest y/n!” Sirius caught you around the waist as you rounded a corner.
“Get off!” You shouted, pushing the boy away. The hallway blurred around your quick pace. Sirius, disappointingly, kept up with you.
“Please just listen to me-”
“Why should I? Is there a genuine reason why I should want to hear from any of you?” Anger rang through each word. Sirius looked at you surprised.
“Cause we care about you?”
“Clearly,” Sarcasm layered the word. You turned and stormed into the girl’s bathroom, slamming the door behind you. This did not deter the boy one bit. He sauntered in after you like he owned the place.
He leaned against the sinks with his typical coquettish demeanor, “Now that we are alone...”
“Absolutely not. Whatever this is, no.” You gestured at the boy. The bell rang, hundreds of footsteps beginning to echo just outside the doors.
“You’ve ignored me and my notes all day.” Sirius pouted.
Frustration bubbled up in your chest, “It’s almost like I don’t want to talk to you Sirius.” Hearing the thunder of footsteps just outside the door, you circled around him towards the door.
“I’d like to take you out!”
Your hand froze just above the doorknob. Disbelief rattled through your head. When you turned to look back at him, his roguish smile was in its usual place. He winked. A muscle in your jaw twitched.
“Yeah right.”
You stormed out. Mixing into the sea of students, you wriggled through the crowd in hopes of losing the boy. Even amidst the crowd, the cheeky lad spotted you.
“Y/n! Let’s go on a date!” People turned to look as you shoved past and ignored the boy’s calls. He was persistent. Even taking the most convoluted path back to the Gryffindor common room was not enough to keep him off your tail. Or from screaming his date requests across the castle. Your face burned from embarrassment and your fists were turning white at the knuckles.
“No! Leave me alone!” You yelled as you crossed through the portrait hole.
“C’mon! Please! Just one little date. We’ll do whatever you want!”
“Do you really think I’m that stupid!” You barked back.
To Sirius’ surprise, you didn’t head up the girl’s stairs. He followed you closely as you barged into his dormitory. James and Peter, having returned from class while you were being chased, jumped at your entrance.
“Tell him to bloody stop!”
James looked petrified, “What’s going on?”
“I’m being serious! Go on a date with me!” Sirus repeated himself for the nth time.
Stringent and perplexed, you responded, “I said no! I will not now or ever go out with you!”
“Why not! Why won’t you go out with me?” Sirius whined.
“Because I’m in love with MOONY!”
Suddenly all the air left your lungs. Mortified, you watched the three boys take in your confession. A year and a handful of months of covering your crush fully awash with one angry outburst. The room was silent. All your defenses left you. Where your usual independent, headstrong, and practical sensibility had been was instead the brokenhearted, pining girl you’d been hiding inside. Tears obscured your vision, threatening to fall.
“Please,” Your voice was breathy and useless, “Don’t tell him.”
***
Remus was nailed to the floor. From behind his closet door he was obscurred from view. His body disobeyed him, staying still and silent when all he wanted was to do was rush out to y/n.
Peter was the first to speak, “Remus is your Shakespeare? Why wouldn’t you want him to know?”
She didn’t answer. Remus’ heart boomed in his chest. He tried to calm it down, determined to hear her if she spoke.
“Do you not think he’d love you back?” James’ words were gentle. Remus heard the realization and guilt in the boy’s voice.
“How could he?”
Her voice broke. So did Remus’ heart. He couldn’t bear what he’d done. His foolish antics had slowly ripped apart the person he most wanted to protect. He’d been more of a monster himself than his illness had ever made him. Then, she cried. Her quiet steps shuffled out of the room and off into the distance.
“Remus?” James called.
Remus slowly shut the door, revealing himself. His three friends looked at him with varrying expressions.
“What now?” Peter mumbled.
“Well, Moony tells us how he feels,” Sirius, looking serious and, surprisingly, not jealous.
Before Remus could speak, James interjected, “No.”
“What?” Sirius demanded.
“He just needs to tell us how to help,” James began to smile, “Moony’s got a girl to go get.”
***
Spring bloomed against all odds. The wintery sun melted, giving way to green trees, flowering bushes, and easy breezes. It seemed the world was offering you a consolation, new beginnings in exchange for offering up your own heart on a plate. Your mind lingered on the outburst. There was no telling what James, Sirius, and Peter would do. You’d spent most of the evening in tears, your dormmates coaxing information between shudders and sobs.
“So it is Moony?”
“I know, I’m a fool.”
“No sweetheart! How can you say that?”
“He hates me. And here I am blubbering over how wonderful he is.”
“He does not hate you.”
“Remus is the fool. All the boys really.”
“You are so lovely. He, of all of them, has to have realized that.”
“Remus doesn’t want me around Dorcas. He’s made it quite clear. Why I ever even entertained that he could care about me is just plain idiocy.”
“Stop that! Right now!”
“Marls, don’t yell at her.”
“Why wouldn’t he care for you?”
“Because... he’s Shakespeare. And I’m some clumsy old diary.”
“While we love your use of metaphors, you’re gonna have to elaborate, love.”
“Remus is brilliant. He’s eloquent, sincere; he heart is pure gold and his eyes could melt even the iciest person. But like Shakespeare, that isn’t all there is. He’s sharp-tongued and clever, intoxicatingly witty. He makes me laugh more than anyone. Depsite everything against him, he never yeilds to the darkest parts of himself. He should be angry, wild, but instead he’s compassionate and gentle. How could someone so vastly interesting and enticing look at me and see anything other than a plain, boring girl?
...You know, when we were friends he’d walk me to class so I could read without bumping into anyone? I’ve had like a hundred bumps and bruises these past few months. And he’d wake up early to read and have a cup of tea with me; or stay up late and have hot chocolate instead... I-I miss him like crazy. I knew the likelihood of him ever seeing me the way I see him was miniscule, but I thought I’d at least get to have his friendship. I still don’t know what I’ve done to make him hate me so terribly. I can’t even apologize because he practically winces every time I speak. ...And even still, as much as he hates me, if he asked me to jump, I would.”
That evening had left you wrenching your own heart out for examination. Fitful sleep plauged you. In the morning, you elected to stay in bed and get in the little rest you could.
When you couldn’t keep your eyes shut, you dressed for class and took yourself through the empty halls. It was pleasant enough. The quiet hallway echoed your steps and you could pretend you weren’t entirely alone.
***
“Remus Lupin you better tell me how you feel about y/n because I am this close to hexing you in front of the entire school.”
Remus had never seen Lily this angry. Her voice caused a quick hush to spread in the Great Hall. Under her glare he felt himself shrink. She’d vaguely threatened the marauders before, but never this specifically. Remus couldn’t form words he was so surprised.
“Hey, hey cool off there Red,” Sirius chuckled.
“Oi, shove off mate unless you want your ass under fire as well,” Marlene snapped viciously.
“Bloody hell, what is going on?” Peter whimpered.
“She told you she’s in love with Moony didn’t she?” James asked. For once, he was the one that was calm and collected. Remus envied it.
“Not just that,” Dorcas replied, shooting a glare at Remus, “She practically spoke in verse about how wonderful Remus is, even though he’s been a complete prat. Never once thought you might just be cruel, just blamed herself for being a burden to the all-mighty Moony. Girl’s hid her feelings for over a year to preserve all our friendships and you two,” She jabbed a finger at Remus and Sirius, “managed to make fun of her for it and leave her in tears.”
Remus held his head in his hands. He deserved every bit of this beating. His stomach was in knots, his shoulders tight enough to ache, and a gaping hole sat where his heart used to be.
“I know you are angry, but there is no need to be,” James spoke, his even voice smoothing over the ragged edges of the conversation, “We were never making fun. As for the rest? Moony’s got quite the explination.”
Remus looked at his friend with wide eyes. He hadn’t been able to make a cohearant scentence since y/n had inccidentally revealed to him that she loved him. The girls looked at him expectantly. Fumbling for the right thing to say, he opened up a book from his lap and handed it over to Lily. Sonnet eighty explained the beginning of his situation quite well. She gave him a skeptical glance before scanning the stanzas. A bit of confusion scrunched up her face. She appraised Remus with her questioning gaze before it flicked over to Padfoot and the realization dawned on her.
“You got jealous.”
Remus nodded.
“In my defense, I cannot help being a flirt. It is part of my natural charisma!” Sirius held up his hands. Remus rolled his eyes. “I also didn’t know that Moons was sweet on her. I was just having fun and it clouded my judgement.”
“How long?” Lily asked, ignoring Sirius.
“A year as well,” James answered for him, “Remember y/n’s exceedingly brazen argument with Snape?”
Dorcas picked up where he left off, “Of course! Not only did she make Snape turn practically purple, she was calling out the mistreatment of those with lycanthropy.”
“Before she knew about Remus,” Lily added, her anger seeming to dissipate in an instant.
“Fell in love with her right then and there. She hadn’t even said a word yet, her eyes were just full of fire,” Remus’ voice finally came out, husky from a lack of use. “She got her first detention that day, after laying out an incredible string of obscenities. On our way out of class she looked at me, clearly worried what I’d thought of her and asked if she’d gone too far. I told her she didn’t and she gave me that smile. The one where her eyes light up and crinkle at the edges. And then she said, ‘Good. You can’t go too far caring about people, no matter what darkness lies within them.’ “
“Let me guess, you fell in love with her twice within the hour?” Sirius had the biggest grin on his face.
“Can you blame me?”
The girls and James cooed at his soft smile.
Marlene, still slightly frustrated, took the book from Lily and hit him over the shoulder with it, “Then why haven’t you bloody said anything!”
Remus rubbed his now sore shoulder, “All the usual reasons I suppose. I didn’t want to stop being friends. Was worried she’d find out about me and get scared. Or worse, that she’d want to help and I’d hurt her. But mostly, I couldn’t imagine her caring about me the way I cared about her.”
“Y/n said the same. Though, hers was definitely more painful to hear,” Peter nodded solemnly.
“Well, you two are a perfect match,” Dorcas sighed.
"Why’s the book got so many corners all crinkled?" James' short attention span had him nabbing Remus' book from across the table. It fell open to the passage he'd shown Lily. James flipped through, scanning over each marked page. Sirius read over his shoulder.
A small smile of recognition appeared on Lily's lips, "Moony, why did you mark all these pages?" He only stammered and blushed. Remus could've kicked himself for leaving the book like that.
"Looks like Moony was going to read at Sonnet night," Marlene grinned, having snatched the book back. She and Dorcas began giggling.
Again, the book was nicked. Sirius checked that each page was still dog-eared before snapping it closed with a satisfying thump. He smiled like a mad-man.
"Padfoot whatever you are thinking, don't," Remus warned.
"My dear friend Remus, I have only been a major, huge, whopping, charismatic, sexy cock block. It is time I rectify our friendship by completely ignoring your request," Sirius had that pirate look about him again, all michevious and proud. "Excuse me all, I have a book to return!"
Without waiting to be caught, he ran out of the Great Hall and disappeared, cackling, into the castle.
***
You were early to History of Magic. It wasn't an uncommon occurance, you were one of the few students who'd kept History of Magic when O.W.L.s were over. Professor Bins never really noticed whether students were present or listening, at least not with his uppser level students. You thought part of him just went about his schedule from life, giving the same lectures every year the exact same way, regardless of who was in attendance.
You sat in your usual seat, staring out onto the bright morning. The sun leaked through trees and left fluttering shadows on the grass. If you closed your eyes, you could imagine the soft breeze and sweet scent of wild honeysuckle grazing across your cheek. You were daydreaming about reading under a tree, leaning with a particular brunette boy's arm around you as he read along with you. A tear slipped past your lashes and you quickly wiped it away. It was silly to allow such flights of fancy. You nearly screamed when you turned back towards the professor. Sirius Black was crouching down, head resting on your desk.
"Merlin's beard!" You whacked his head and earned a gratfying whine.
"I know you're mad, but I never expected violence!" Sirius snickered. You didn't answer. Sirius moved to look at you and you continued to avoid his gaze. "I just wanted to truly apologize. My attempts to take you out were sincere. Your flirting is beyond compare," He winked. This did catch your attention. You cautiously looked at him.
"But, clearly, your heart belongs to one even I don't dare try to compete with. Good thing too. As you said," The boy had a cheeky grin on his face, "I could never handle you all riled up."
The bell rang and hid your groan of irritation.
"Anyways y/n, I'm quite sorry for all the mess. Oh, and here's your book. I forgot I'd borrowed it." Sirius set a worn book on your desk.
"This isn't-" You called out after him but he was gone. As the other students filed in, you swept the book into your lap and got out you materials. You knew Sirius was up to something, but you weren't sure what.
Binns was discussing the historic events they'd covered up to that point - the ghost was taking a majority of the hour on it. You couldn't help your curious mind and brought the book back out. At first you didn't recognize it. You didn't have a copy of Shakespearean Sonnets...
But Remus did.
Confirming your suspicion, you found his precise signature on the inside cover. Your fingers brushed over it, your heart jumping in your chest. And then, you noticed the dog-eared pages. Part of you knew you should put the book away and not anger it's owner. But another part of you was so overtly curious that you were turning to the first page before you could stop.
When most I wink, then mine eyes best see,
For all the day they view things unrespected;
But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
And darkly bright, are bright in dark directed.
Then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright,
How would thy shadow's form form happy show
To the clear day with thy much clearer light,
When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!
How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made
By looking on thee in the living day,
When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade
Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth say!
All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me.
You sighed. Loudly. It was unintentional and you immediately nabbed your quill and began scribbling fake notes. You felt a few eyes on you and silently cursed as you blushed. As your embarrassment slowly dispersed, you glanced down your row. At the opposite end, nervously tapping his fingers on the desk and dusted pink over the cheeks, was Remus Lupin. A spark of hope errupted in your chest, incredibly difficult to ignore. Your rational streak doused the flame, assuring you that Remus could not have marked these with you in mind...
But, Sirius had given it to you. And knowing Sirius, it was intentional.
The bell rang, Professor Binns only just noticing and giving out homework as the small group packed their things away. You threw your things into your bag haphazardly, hoping to get a moment to with those lovely brown eyes. Maybe, just maybe you'd find some hint on the boy's face. But just as you closed the book, turned to leave, he was gone.
***
"Which one is she on?"
"Could you stop taking the binoculars?"
"If you keep fussing so loudly, she'll hear us?"
"Why does she have to read all of them?"
"It's- gi-give it- to- me! She's on Sonnet 80."
"Good! See Pete, that's the one 'bout jealousy. Luckily for us, Moony's so lovestruck he mapped out his feelings in the pages he marked."
"We are less than thirty feet away. Why am I even indulging this behavior? This might be the stupidest thing I've ever done."
"No, not telling y/n you loved her sooner is the stupidest thing you've ever done. This? This is the universe handing us a romantic plot already partially contrived!"
"And pray tell what the rest of the plan is?"
"Do we even have a plan?"
"Of course we have a plan Wormtail!"
"Shh! Pads get down!"
"James, do we actually have a plan?"
"Well... we have an Evans. That's the next best thing!"
***
Remus could feel his hand steady as the quill hit the parchment. When Lily had suggested this plan, he thought it crazy. Then she pointed out that the remedy of communication had solved plenty of Shakespearean comedies and would have solved all the tragedies. He couldn't disagree.
Now, after hours of drafts, he was setting his words in the nicest handwriting he could craft. He kept checking the time, knowing that y/n would be heading to the library when Ancient Runes let out. He was cutting it close. His heart fluttered in his chest, wondering whether or not his words would inspire that soft smile and wistful look. So wrapped up in the work, he missed the loud clammering as his friends threw themselves into their dormitory. The door swung open with a loud crack against the wall.
"You're lucky I've just put the quill down!" Remus jumped in is seat.
"Bells- about- to- oh man- ring," Peter sputtered through heavy gasps. Remus' eyes grew wide. He wasn't going to make it.
"We've got it. Just get to the library!" James yanked his invisibility cloak off the bed.
"Take the map!" Remus instructed. He carefully creased the page into a neat fold as Sirius snatched up the map and ran off with James.
"What I can do, Moony?" Peter, having regained himself, asked.
"Find Lily. If this falls apart, we're gonna need her." With that, the tall boy began legging it through the castle. The Fat Lady shrieked at him for nearly kicking out the portrait. But Remus didn't have time. He wasn't sure the last time he felt so invigorated. Where the usual hum of anxious worry sat in his chest, all he found was excitement - the rush of knowing he was in love with a girl, a wonderful girl who loved him too.
He tore through the castle and straight into the library, scaring poor Madam Pince.
"Oh, dear. Very sorry professor. Would you mind pointing me toward y/n y/l/n's new study spot? I've got something for her," He was breathing hard, rubbing the back of his neck while blush tinged his cheeks. The woman pointed him in the right direction.
The study corral was tucked tighly between two bookshelves and a window. He sighed, trying to stay relaxed. He set the letter down once. Then he readjusted it. And once more. It needed something else.
"Y/N WAIT! YOU HAVE TO HEAR THIS STORY!"
"DON'T GO IN THE LIBRARY Y/N!"
The doors to the library immediately opened. Remus was frozen for a moment. He could hear Madam Pince fussing with Sirius and James. Just ahead of him, turned to face and speak to Peter, was y/n. He couldn't help but grin. Her hair falling just perfectly. He was brought back to reality as Wormtail shot him a wide eyed stare. He ducked immediately behind a shelf as y/n took her seat. She placed his book on the desk, noticing the parchment. Her head swivled around, a confused look on her face. He sucked in a deep breath, watching her reach for it.
And he sneezed. And froze.
"...Remus?"
Of course she knew it was him. Heat burned in the center of his chest. The chair made a soft scrape and Remus scrambled to find anything to look busy.
"Remus?" She repeated. She was at the open end of the shelves, looking at him with apprehensive eyes.
"Hello," He squeezed out. He was hoping to keep from stuttering and instead came out strained. The apprehension immediately turned to worry and Remus had to quickly save the situation, "Studying for anything specific?"
She relaxed a tiny bit, "Binns wants us to debate next week? Did you miss it too?"
"You missed the assignment?" He tried to surpress a smile. He didn't know what assignment she was talking about either - he'd been too focused on her. The pale pink of her cheeks deepened and she looked at her shoes. She quickly ducked around the stack, leaving Remus confused. He needn't worry because she appeared a moment later. She held onto his book.
"Sirius gave me this. He, um, I guess he thought it was mine? Dunno... I-I was trying to figure out who it belonged to," She explained. Her fingers drew soft patterns across the cover as she spoke. "Knew it was yours when I actually got a decent look at it." Her arm stretched toward him, small hand clutching the book. Y/n had a small, sad smile as she waited for him to take it.
"Thank you," Remus gazed at her, "I've been looking for this."
She continued to blush, refusing to look at him. "I-I'll let you get back to..." Confusion scrunched her brows as she noticed the books surrounding them, "...magical creature mating habits." The two students felt an increased surge of humiliation.
"I must have gotten turned around. I was looking for things for that, uh... the, um, assignment." He was covering quite well. At least he thought so until she broke out into a fit of giggles.
"While I see your interest in the mating habits of werewolves, I doubt that will help you in our Werewolf Code of Conduct debate," She had to steady herself against the shelf. He felt frozen to the spot. When she looked up at him, her face reddened again and some emotion overtook her. "I-I am so sorry. I- I-"
"No no. It must look quite, uh,"
"Like Sirius?" She joked again.
"Exactly."
She smiled. He realized how long it had been since he'd been the cause of so many smiles. He'd be kicking himself for a while for the past few months. All Remus could do was look at her as softly as he possibly could.
"I'll leave you to your research," She pushed off the shelf lightly and quietly stepped back to her study spot.
Remus was beaming. Without a second thought, he leaned around the corner and looked down on the girl as she contemplated opening the parchment again.
"Would a first hand opinion be helpful for your argument?"
Y/n quirked an eyebrow, "You offering?"
"As long as you're planning on winning," He joked.
The smile returned, this time hinted with michevious glee.
"I think I can handle that."
***
You and Remus sat close together, bent over the pile of open books that littered your area. When Remus joined your studying, you couldn't help but feel elated. You'd desperately tried to keep your mind focused on work. But he was joking with you again. Smiling at you again. Sitting shoulder to shoulder with your legs pressed together again. It was like coming home after having been gone for too long.
You were spread out on the floor, the study corral being much too small for the two of you. The sky grew dark, the clock ringing for dinner, but neither of you moved to get up. Candles had been lit. Bits of chocolate from Remus' personal stash had been shared. Your homework was long forgotten. After months of wary distance, you had quite a lot to catch up on. To your surprise, he'd asked about the boy you fancied. You were surprised that James and Sirius hadn't given your secret away.
"To be honest," You fiddled with the hem of your sweater, "I still am utterly hopeless. The girls are likely tired of my innane gushing. But I know friendship is all I'll likely get. And I'd happily settle for that than losing them."
"Really?" Remus asked you.
You nodded, "I wouldn't give our friendship up for anything."
"Our?"
"His and my. Our. The two of us, him and me. Yes," You fumbled, and not at all gracefully. For what felt like the hundredth time in the past few hours, you felt the burning and relentless heat of embarrassment.
"And what if you didn't have to give anything up?"
You looked at Remus. It was easy to be confused. Firelight flickered across his face, the beautiful image making it difficult for you to read what he was thinking.
"I don't understand," You answered quietly.
***
"Where are they?" Lily was pacing around the common room.
"I'm sure everything is fine Lily," James took the opportunity to offer comfort. She leaned into his shoulder as soon as his arm was around her.
"This is not what the plan was," She huffed. "It was going to be just like one of the plays."
"Bloody hell! A few months in the making this has been and we aren't even going to get to see how it turns out?" Marlene complained.
"I blame you," Dorcas made an indecent gesture at Sirius.
Sirius scoffed, "I refuse to take any sort of blame! I'm the whole reason they're getting together."
"If," Lily corrected. "They aren't here so how can we be sure its happening?" The group was silent. Nerves shifting throughout.
"Well we could just go back to the library. They were chatting when I left for dinner," Peter suggested quietly.
"PETER!" The girls screamed. The poor boy recoiled in response.
"We're going to miss it!"
"What if it's already happened? Or worse, didn't!"
"We've got to get down there!"
"Can someone please inform me what is going on?" Sirius yelled.
Lily was smiling brightly. Though her plan had not followed through the way she expected, knowing Remus it would all be okay. She would keep her fingers crossed and do just about anything to witness the final result. She zeroed in on James Potter, the boy's eyes filled with the usual adoration paired with new curiosity.
"James, how'd you like to sneak around the castle?"
His answer, obviously, was yes.
***
Remus was fiddling with his hands - his beautiful hands. You were worried you might have said something wrong. You'd never worried about that with him until recently. For the past couple of months, that's all you'd done. Just as you were about to change the subject and apologize, he held something up.
It was the bit of parchment that had been on your desk when you got to the library.
"I thought-" He cleared his throat and continued, "I thougt it'd be easier to write everything down."
You stared at him in shock. Your heart pounded so loudly you were sure he could hear it.
"Bit silly, I s'pose," He brushed a hand through his sandy brown hair. "I'm afraid I've been a bit of a coward when it comes to you."
You could have kissed him right then.
"I can't let you read it."
This caught you offguard. Looking away, you felt your heart begin to sink.
"I'm afraid it has to be read aloud," He continued, and you could hear the chagrined smile in his words.
When you looked back, his eyes were on you. Once again, the candelight caught them just so. Your heart melted and you knew, just as before, you'd do anything for those lovely bronze eyes. His eyes momentarily flicked down to the page in his hand. Your heart was nearly bursting through your chest. Chills covered your arms as Remus, your Remus, took your hand in his.
"I'm going to apoogize in advance for my reading. It is sure to be shaky," He smiled weakly. You let out a small giggle, biting your lip to return the quiet that had surrounded you. You knew in this moment you would wait forever for the boy beside you.
"Forgivest thou thy lowly lovelorn fool,
Who with thy heart hast grossly neglected;
As jealous resolves left affections cool
And abandoned love thus misdirected.
For I, thou wanting servant, O beauty,
Disbelieving thou could’st love completely,
Did burst with amorous furiosity
And hid away thy heart indiscreetly.
Still distanced watched for thy radiant eyes,
Which inspired stars to cease in their shine.
Heartache would not ease with distance unwise,
Yea burned for thy embrace of love as mine.
Forgive thy fool, who reason does now reach,
As I devoted, does thy love beseech."
He'd barely looked at the paper. In fact, Remus Lupin had held tight to your gaze for fourteen verses. You were glad he did. You likely would have begun to float off, the happiness in your heart lifting you off your feet. Nestled close together on the library floor, later than respectible, your heart was set ablaze. He was air and you were only just beginning to breathe. Tracing your fingers down his scar-filled cheek, you found the words to respond.
"Remus Lupin, I have loved you from afar for far too long."
You kissed him. It was the boldest decision you'd ever made. Telling the boy you loved him had been the most frightening concept in the world a few hours ago, nearly impossible. Now, you'd done just that. And kissed him.
More importantly, he was kissing you back.
"Damn. She really had to go and out-do him in one sentence."
You couldn't help but smile into the kiss, giggles beginning to bubble up. Remus pulled away from you, his hand lingering on your cheek, and glared off into the darkened library. Suddenly, their was a burst of chatter.
"Ah!"
"Alright mate! That's it Moony!"
"I can't believe it. This is brilliant."
"Oh it was so lovely! James have you ever seen anything so lovely?"
"I can think of one thing... Good to see things are working out Moony."
Out from behind bookshelves and corners, you watched the smiling faces of your friends peak out. Immediately embarrassment returned and you burried your face in your hands. To your greatest pleasure, Remus' arm curled around you and pulled you flush to his chest.
"Really had to ruin the moment?" You could hear the laughter behind his frustration.
"Just once more," Sirius responded.
"You alright, love?" Remus spoke quietly in your ear.
You turned your face up to look at him, drinking in the warmth in his gaze. "Well, I could be better."
He cocked his eyebrow up, getting lost in you for a moment. He grinned madly and cupped your chin in his hand.
"Moony, I'm right here," Sirius scoffed.
"I suggest you all go to bed. Prefect duties commence quite soon. Wouldn't want to get detention, now would we?" Remus called, not removing his eyes from you. There were some whines of protest to which he replied, "Can you handle that Prefect Evans?"
"Come on everyone. Mustn't dally," Lily called, clearly giddy to help. You couldn't help but giggle as the group groaned, still mesmerized by the boy holding you close.
Your eyes fluttered closed as Remus kissed you. Slow and tender, the kiss sent another wave of warms through your chest.
"Better?" Remus teased.
You nodded, "Much better."
Enveloped in candlelit darkness, you shared sweet, anticipated kisses. Quiet whispers passed between you, laughter and jokes. A few times he caught you staring. You couldn't help it. When Remus finally asked why, you only had one answer.
"I just really love Shakespeare."
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9w1ft · 6 months
Note
Do you ever have doubts about all this? Like maybe we've gaslit each other and lsk isn't actually a thing? Like maybe Taylor never corrected the narrative she put out through songs and other stuff that Karlie betrayed her is because that's what she actually thought? Cause lately it's been creeping in for me. I mean what if they were vaguely in contact and Karlie going to Eras was a goodbye sort of to her and Taylor? Or what if it was actually an olive branch from her and Taylor didn't take it or was enthusiastic about it at first buy was convinced to not contact her afterwards by Tree or people like that?
hey anon. over the years i’ve had my off days, sure! but absolutely nothing from this year has shaken me. quite the contrary this year has made me feel more confident in my understanding than ever and dare i say it has probably been one of the easiest years in some aspects. which is wild to me! but it’s my truth. and i understand how that sounds and i’m not saying that i have the answer or that i cannot be wrong. anything’s possible. it’s just that there has been such a strong and growing understanding of what i believe that it just can’t be toppled so easily.
as for the eras tour… i say versions of this every other day at this point but at the risk of TMI let me be more specific, as someone who has also experienced being postpartum, i just do not see karlie wanting to physically and mentally go through going to such an event as some sort of sentimental farewell or hail mary, or on a whim, or out of spite. like i think about back when i was 2 weeks postpartum and both times i was literally sleeping most of the day, only waking to tend to the baby, wearing the same clothes i had been all week, probably hadn’t brushed my teeth or washed my hair either, wrapped up in bandages and pads because my body was still emptying itself of the extra lining and liquid called lochia that doesn’t all come out during childbirth, taking pain meds, emotional and weeping uncontrollably over tv commercials.
it’s just… no amount of money or greed would have been able to compel me to get up off my butt, put on nice clothes and to put on a face of makeup, and fly across the country with my kids to go to a stadium of seventy thousand people where half or more of them blindly hate me, where maybe even a hundred or so of them or more have personally threatened me in dm’s or on social media, and to be able to be open enough to smile for people around and enjoy a concert for someone who i wasn’t sure cared about me. not a chance in hell. so, i just do not see the situation like that, and it’s just another thing that builds upon my interpretation of the situation in general.
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Text
I Admire You
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Steve Harrington x Reader
[923] - Steve gets into a fight.
A/N - This is kinda rushed so forgive me, enjoy!
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“Nope, no, absolutely not.”
“Wha- Steve c’mon I can’t just leave it like that” you pouted as you held the gauze pad in your hand.
You admired your boyfriend for many things, he had lots of quirks that made him the person that you’ve come to love so much. One of the things you didn’t admire, however, was his stubbornness. 
You were currently sitting on the counter of his bathroom as he paced back and forth, breathing disorientated and heart beating faster than it should. “Hey, sit down.”
You understand he’s in pain and this isn’t helping him right now, but you also understand that wounds need to be cleaned.
“I’m only trying to help you Steve” you speak while looking down at your lap, you did feel bad, you never wanted to be the cause of any discomfort.
His pacing stops, turning to look at you. He felt stupid, embarrassed even. He’s handled pain a lot worse, a lot better. Maybe it was the anger he could still feel. Maybe it was the adrenaline still coursing through his body. Maybe it was something about you seeing him like this that made his heart pick up.
“Hey, no i’m sorry,” Steve told you, lifting your hand that still held the gauze, “I’m sorry baby keep going.” 
He stood between your legs, hand rubbing up and down your thighs as you did as he said, gently dabbing the stop on his face that still held the blood, careful not to reopen any cuts that had started to scab over already. 
“So.. you gonna tell me what happened?”
He knew the question was coming, could feel the way your breath hitched before you asked, he just didn’t really know what to say. “Not sure, just happened.”
“You’re telling me you punched Billy for no reason?”
The name burned more than his face. Billy fucking Hargrove. He seethed, the anger that had just started to leave his body came creeping back in. His grip tighten on your thigh as he tried to regain composure, there was no point in being angry anymore. Sighing heavily he cast his eyes downwards, almost afraid to meet yours.
“Hey,” you dropped the gauze, hands coming up to tangle themselves around Steve, one at the nape of his neck while the other gently cupped his less swollen cheek, “i’m not mad or anything, i’d just like to know why i’m patching my boyfriend up at nearly 1am when he should be at a party.” 
Steve’s eyes softened and he felt some of the tension finally leave his body after being so pent up for the better part of an hour. His actions mirrored yours and a hand came up to the back of your neck, hands trailing to the front as he pushed his thumb to your bottom lip. 
You pressed a kiss softly to the pad of this thumb and he allowed himself to fall into you, face squished into the crook of your neck as he returned the kiss. He didn’t understand how someone so soft and gentle could be with someone so rough around the edges. 
You wrapped your arm around him tighter, hoping to bring him some sort of comfort and a kiss to the side of his head to coax him into talking.
“Why’d you hit Billy, baby?” 
You felt the exhale of his breath against your neck before he spoke, words quiet. Had he not been on top of you, you doubt you’d have heard him. “Cause of Dustin.”
Your eyes widened, having never expected him to say that. He wasn’t even there, how could he have caused a problem? 
“Dustin?” you pulled back, not a lot but enough that you could lift his chin to meet your face again “What did he do?”
Steve shook his head, brown locks moving with him as he let out a frustrated sigh, “He was talking about him, taunting me. He wanted to start a fight, wanted me to throw a punch.” he paused, trying to find the words to say, “It’s stupid, i’m not 17 anymore i shouldn’t be going around throwing punches.”
He pulled back a little more to rub at his face, another pained sound leaving his lips. “I’m trying to be better,” he mumbled “for you, for the kids. I don’t want them to see me like this.”
Your heart sank, he was embarrassed, embarrassed he’d gotten caught fighting.
“Look at me, Steve.” 
You lifted his head, gaze softening slightly as his eyes connected to yours, even with cuts and bruises his beauty didn’t lessen.
“Those kids adore you okay?” he dropped your gaze trying to pull away from you “no hey, i’m being serious, you wanna know what they talk about all the time?” 
You squeezed his face, desperately trying to show him that every word you spoke was the truth. “You, Steve. They talk about you all the time.”
“You’re not a bad person Steve,” you smiled “you’re a good role model and they admire you. I admire you.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. You know i’d never lie to you.”
He reached for the back of your neck, bringing your face closer to connect your lips together. A slow kiss, just as passionate as a heated one, that never failed to release the butterflies in your stomach.
“Where would i be without you?” he spoke against your lips, breath connecting together. 
“Alone with infected wounds,” you laughed together, a sound you didn’t realise how much you missed, “now c’mon, i’m not finished cleaning.”
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0oolookitsme · 1 year
Text
A Messy Day
Type- One-Shot
Verse- Singer!Harry xCeo!Y/n
Word Count- 2.5k
Warnings- I literally never write angst and I guess it might be showing in this fic lmao.
A/N- I just hope you don't absolutely hate this, I just don't have any idea what couples would fight about, what would be a big or small deal for them! I already beg your pardon hahah <3
She doesn't know what she did that made him feel like that. She just cares for him and is in love with him- is that where she went wrong? Because if yes, then this might be the only mistake which will have wounded her so badly that she won't even speak to another human ever again.
She was just helping him calm down before the show, telling him all the positive things that could happen while he was on the stage as he was brushing his teeth. She was just coming onto the point of making memories when he just spat out the toothpaste, rinsed his mouth and went away humming back at her in a dismissive response.
She was left dumbfounded sitting on the bathroom counter, but she brushed it off thinking maybe he was just feeling better now. It hit her in the heart when she saw him rambling to Mitch instead and as much as she tried to cover up her disappointment by thinking that he maybe wanted some relatability, she couldn't help but leave the space immediately to just forget this ever happened.
And she had. Sitting on a wooden chair, she chatted away with the cooking crew to selfishly keep her mind away from the way Harry had stirred-up shit in the over-thinking part of her brain. But she was also curious to know about how it felt to cook at somewhere which isn't the most usual space for cooking and chef-ing around.
She had even befriended the female chef; Charlotte was her name. Charlotte had told her about her nickname often being 'chocolate' to sweeten y/n's mood. Maybe she had just sensed that something was off ...women things? Y/n has no idea.
"Is my soup ready?" Harry's head peeked inside the kitchen area and every head turned towards him except for y/n's as she truly cannot afford tearing up in front of so many people.
One of them chimed in to tell him that it isn't yet but should be in around five more minutes. "Can you bring it to my room, love?" He asked and there's no doubt he's talking to his girlfriend.
"Sure," she mumbles quietly, her back still turned to him. Hearing him pad away without much care about her strange behaviour towards him, she looked up again while inhaling deeply, trying to keep her emotions in control when all she wanted to do was lock herself up in a bathroom and cry.
Only Harry had this much control over her feelings, only him. No one could make her want to just cry this much but Harry, she realized today. No one could pull as many emotions out of her as he could- she knew that since before though. But all she can think of right now is them separating- him leaving her all alone to be specific, and regrets of opening up to him and letting her walls down for him start to fill in.
"You wanna try this and tell me how it tastes? I'm sure you have a pretty good taste," Charlotte pats her shoulders, causing her to blink out of the void.
"Of course," she perks up at the sound of food, getting off the chair. Somewhere inside, she's a lot grateful for Char, so she brushes her hand on her back, trying to let her know without having to say it out loud.
Turning to face y/n, Char hands her a small tea plate while mumbling 'here'. The loose liquid is moving around with ease in the circular utensil, so y/n can tell that it's the soup and not the curry to a dinner they'll be packing for the crew.
She carefully slurps on it and the hot feeling of it against the back of her throat makes her rolls her eyes at the back of head. It brings her comfort. "Fuck, this shit is so very good," she opens her eyes to look at a grinning Charlotte. "You were on the Vogue Magazine labeled as the best chef for a reason, eh?" She compliments the blushing chef.
Just as Char mutters a small 'thank you' Y/n realizes that she might be giving out wrong indications, especially with how close she's standing to her. "Sorry," she clears her throat while backing away a few steps while waiting for Char to pour the soup in a bowl so that she can take it to- oh hell no.
She'll do anything to avoid him right now but seeing everyone busy in something, she has to somehow work up the courage to face him.
Charlotte hums for y/n to take ahold of the bowl and she takes it graciously to feel the heat of the utensil in her palms for a mere while. With the spoon already dipped inside, she moves towards the exit with caution as to not move with too much movement or some soup might end up on floor- and she really doesn't want to increase someone's work in this already hectic schedule.
Taking a turn towards the room of the one and only, she knocks lightly before opening the door and placing her first step inside through the small gap between the door and its frame. Instantly the door is hardly pushed back to close it and she feels the muscles of her foot squish so hard that a hissed-yell escapes her mouth.
Just as she curses though, the person inside opens the door with a frown on their face. "Couldn't you have waited for me to open the door or at least told me that it's you? I'm literally in my briefs!" He whisper yells at her and a sheen layer of salty water spreads across her sight, making everything look blurry.
Usually, they both would've laughed at their silliness but not right now- not when some shit has already been churned up. They can't even make themselves fake smile at each other.
"Fuckin' shit Harry, no! You tell me to bring you your damn soup and expect a ghost to bring it to you?" She lightly yells at him, letting him take ahold of the bowl now. Just as he turns around to place his bowl on the vanity with a strange face, she runs away. She runs to save herself the dignity she's got and slams the bathroom door once she's in there.
Maybe they could've talked through their fight as he'd slurp on his soup and y/n would chew on some cashews, but there's no way she's going back so instantly now.
He's only been making her feel ashamed of herself since the fucking morning today and she can't bring herself to be vulnerable in front of him anymore for the day- hopefully. Why is she getting so fucking sensitive ever since he has entered her life, she has no idea and it's driving her insane. Maybe it's just her periods approaching but she can't help but accept that it's her Harry, her boyfriend, love of her life and fucking best friend who's made her feel like shit all day.
She looks up, facing the ceiling so that her tears don't slip out.
It all started this morning when she was just feeling generous with affections and maybe he was feeling like an adult, not liking her 'child-like' behaviour. Yep, he had asked her "You're acting so childish today, everything Okay?" when all she wanted to do was make a fountain on the top of his head.
She had laughed it off in the moment, but she just gets it now.
Breathing in and out while her tears get soaked back in, she thinks about every fun memory she can and passes herself a sweet smile in the mirror, waiting till her nose returns back to its normal and she suddenly starts looking pretty.
She opens the door and moves towards his room again, the pain in her foot having been thought away as she knocks and waits for him to open the door.
When Harry does open the door wide enough for her to enter, she slides in quickly, skidding on her socks quickly towards the sofa and picks up her backpack.
"Where are you going?" He asks her in a not-so-sweet-tone when he notices her slipping out of the room quietly and exhales in annoyance when she doesn't reply. All he wants is a quiet-cuddle session with his girlfriend, but she just can't stop talking and acting like a child. He's been waiting all day for her to realize that he's feeling down and needy and wants her warmth. Key word: realize; for her to realize without him having told her anything, not even a damn hint.
He's an adult, he should just spit it out and set things straight in front of her, tell her what he wants but no- he feels like a child who just wants to feel understood, so when she tries to provide him some good company by simply providing him with her love, he decides that she's the one acting childish.
He has no idea why he wants to feel understood; he clearly is by the people who he loves. And that's when he realizes, he is just playing around by not telling what he wants and is getting grumpier when the person he wants doesn't read his mind.
He guesses he's the one on the bad side right now, but that doesn't make him go and run for y/n because he's in his egotistic maniac mindset right now.
So, because his girlfriend ignoring him stroke his ego really bad, he sits down on the couch and finishes the rest of the soup which seems to have gotten absolutely cold by now. But that doesn't mean it isn't affecting the weird sensation on his tongue, which had gotten burnt during the early slurps of the soup.
He starts mumbling incoherent things randomly, shit-talking about everyone else to make himself better.
When y/n's head bobs in through the door again, he's ready to not react to her dismissing him but when she silently picks up her laptop's charger and moves to exit the room again, he bursts.
"Can you not give me the silent-treatment? Maybe just act like the grownup you are and tell me what's wrong?" He picks on her, setting out the words clearly pointing towards him to refer to her. And boy does he shrink on the inside when she scoffs.
But his words continuously fall deaf on Y/n's ears, as they are flooded by the sound of her own heartbeat racing and blood pumping through her arteries while she vigorously scratches that part of her brain internally which is playing the words that spilled from his mouth accidently on repeat; to get them erased from where they seem to have also imprinted themselves.
"Just shut up, y/n!" He had shouted at her when she was in the midst of telling him about a joke on their way here- and it honestly didn't affect her as much as the words he muttered under his breath while turning away from her to face the window instead did. "Don't even know why I brought y' with me. All you've been doing is treat me like a damn child and act childish yourself."
Trust her, she was trying to keep her mind off these moments but this one just won't leave her alone.
"Harry, do you realize who the fuck is being a child right now? It's you! Cause if you really were acting like an adult, you wouldn't need me to tell you what the fuck's wrong."
But it's all a game of better comebacks now, and y/n is not going to back down.
"All you have done today is make my day shit when all I did was try to make yours better. You made me feel fucking ashamed of myself, H." She gritted out the last part, tears brimming up to her waterline again as she tries to blink them away but fails. And she can see the alarm on his face, in his eyes but she cannot give two fucks right now. Perhaps, he realized that he was being a bitch?
"Love- I... I'm so sorry." He gets up, hurrying towards y/n to enclose his arms around her and when she doesn't push him away but continues to tell him about everything he told her that hurt her, he feels a knife twisting in through his stomach. He's just disgusted by himself that he made her cry. The woman he swore to keep happy- he made her cry.
When he hugs her, y/n can't help but feel like this fight is slipping out of her fist and being pushed under the carpet because she just started crying. But maybe this actually isn't as much of a big deal she's making it out to be.
"I know I disrespected you, and I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm the one who didn't communicate properly and expected you to read my mind," he shushes her, rubbing her back as she wipes her tears away.
At least he set the things out for her to learn what's wrong after seeing her cry, so that's a win. But she shouldn't have to cry to get him to fucking set things out.
She chuckles dryly at this. "You seriously made me think that you were gonna leave me simply because you didn't feel comfortable enough to communicate with me... Also, is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it is clearly not." She says, pressing her forearms on his chest to push him away.
"Lovie- don't be so hard on me, I'm sorry! I didn't realize what I was doing and-and why would you think I'm gonna leave you? Baby that's never happening, you're seriously stuck with me now 'cause my clingy ass ain't gonna leave you, nah." He chuckles, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
Her eyes light up slightly at the affirmation but her face is still looking like a carved stone right now. A smile tugs at the corner of her lips but she settles it down by rolling her lips in. "I'm not going to forgive you so easily, H. I won't make a big deal out of this. You were feeling needy and felt that it'd be childish of you to just ask for what you wanted," she stopped to catch her breath. "I may have over-thought it all a little, but it still doesn't dismiss the feeling of me hurt. So, let's get it straight," she stops again to create some suspense as she makes a mischievous eye contact with him.
"First: I'm not scratching your scalp for a week. Second: No kisses till the next show is over. Third, dare you ask me to tell you jokes and lastly, I am not humming songs to you till you sleep because I'm a kid and well, it's adults who sing kids to sleep."
"You did not just make that third rule and say that!"
She giggles as she parts to move out of the room. "Could say the same for every time you opened your mouth in front of me today, Styles."
Going over all the rules in his head, Harry just knows that he indeed truly messed up today.
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theladyofbloodshed · 7 months
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You're The Closest To Heaven That I'll Ever Be - Chapter Two
Azriel said in this chapter, "I am a freak and what about it?". This will follow the bones of ACOMAF/ACOWAR with a few tweaks along the way.
It was wrong. All of it was wrong. And he couldn’t help himself. He didn’t have the same instincts as others. He had always been that way. If his conscience ever spoke up, Azriel could always overpower it. The same self-preservation instincts that others relied on had never formed for him in the cells of his father’s home.
The lie had already formed in his head, long before he had even risen from the bed.
Cassian slept deeply in the bed pushed against the wall, a wing splayed out towards the floor, oblivious to the perils of spending a night below the Wall. They had talked a little before sleep; an analysis on the sisters and their willingness to assist in contacting the mortal queens. The elder sister had riled Cassian up so all of his conversation revolved around her and Azriel found it irritating. He had a way of bringing every statement to Nesta. It got to the point where Azriel had twisted his scarred fingers into the bedsheets then found himself questioning why he’d done it. It was the Wall. Being so far from Velaris made him uneasy. Mor could take care of herself, he knew, but still he worried about her wellbeing.
The bedroom door opened without a sound, the wood gliding over the carpeted floor with ease. Azriel had already checked the hinges before bed for weak spots as well as the floorboards to know which were liable to creak.
At the door where Rhysand slept with Feyre Archeron, Azriel halted. He doubted Rhys would sleep, but in the presence of Feyre, who knew. A shadow slithered down his arm and slunk beneath the narrow gap. There was a shield there – Rhys’ – but his shadow pushed through it. Both asleep, it told him. From the breathing, Feyre had fallen into a deep slumber but Rhys balanced between alert and asleep.
His feet padded softly across the hallway, flanked by shadows to obscure the movement. If Rhys emerged, it was a routine sweep of the house following an unknown noise. It wouldn’t be questioned. Functioning on minimal sleep was what Azriel excelled at; he could always be counted on to take watches or work through the night without complaint. Sleep was never a companion. It had always eluded him.
Maybe if he told himself that lie enough – that he was simply sweeping the property – he might believe it too.
At the white wooded door that led to Elain Archeron’s bedroom, Azriel paused. In the silence of the house, he should have been able to make out the deep, even breathing of sleep there too. When no sounds could be heard, his fingers wrapped around the handle to gently ease the door open. The room was empty. The cream bedsheets were pulled tight over the mattress and the gossamer curtains hanging from the posts were neatly tied with a bow. Elain Archeron was not in this room. Curious. Or clever.
If he had read the eldest well enough, Azriel had an idea where the middle sister would be – likely barricaded in with Nesta Archeron who would have a kitchen knife under her pillow to serve as a weapon.
Azriel should have gone back to his room. There was no need for this. The sisters were not a danger. Despite the battle of his conscience that informed him this was very wrong, he couldn’t stop himself. It was in his blood to spy. It was the only thing he was good for.
His feet took him to the end of the corridor. With every step closer, the gnawing ache in his chest increased tenfold. He rubbed at the spot on his rib where the pain latched on. The looking-glass earlier had yielded no secrets; there wasn’t a single mark to be found on his body. Cassian had shrugged with indifference when he’d asked vague questions about the Wall having an effect on his siphons as he searched for the answer he wanted.
His ear pressed to the wood. The soft rattle of breath sounded as one slept. But he could only make out one asleep. His brow furrowed. One sister wasn’t sleeping. Of course, Nesta Archeron would not sleep with three Illyrians and an estranged sister under her roof. He was foolish to think she might slumber with a knife under her goose-down pillow. No, this female was likely stood in a corner clutching a blade with one eye on her sister, the other on the door.
A strange sensation of pride washed over him at the realisation and he couldn’t decide why. It made no difference to him if a mortal he would never see again took these sorts of precautions. At least she used her head. It wouldn’t help when Hybern razed these lands to ash but it was something.
Azriel leaned forwards again, ready to press his ear to the wood once more, when one of the floorboards in the room creaked. He paused, careful not to swallow or exhale, despite mortals’ muted hearing. One of his shadows curled around his wrist then moved towards the keyhole to peer through.
The handle turned.
And Azriel had never moved so quickly.
His shadows spirited him to the safety of the darkness.
Nesta stood in the open doorway, silhouetted by the dim light of an oil lamp. A white, silk nightgown did little to hide her slender figure, but Azriel’s attention snagged on her face. The severe coronet that she had worn for dinner had been disarmed. Golden hair tumbled down to her waist. He had never seen anybody so beautiful. The light haloed her, softening her features. She took a single step forward to peer at the darkness.
At the sight of her staring down the corridor, the pain in his chest flared. He felt as if he was impaled to the wall by an iron arrow. The pain sawed through his lungs.
She gave another look down the corridor, eyes narrowing as though she could see through the veil of shadow that protected him.
Then the door closed softly. Once Azriel heard the scrape of the key as it was turned in the lock, he finally let out his exhale. He swore she had been looking directly at him. But that was impossible. Nobody had ever been able to penetrate the shadows, least of all a mortal female.
***
Rhysand had lain a trap for the Attor, using Feyre as bait, and it had taken it. After all, who would resist an untrained fae who harnessed the powers of every high lord in Prythian?
When he directed Azriel to extract intel, he had been glad to do it. No sleep had come in the mortal manor. How could it when all he could see was startling silver eyes each time that he closed his own?
Peace came in the dungeons of the Hewn City. He was glad to drive away thoughts of the bewitching Nesta Archeron from his mind. With every stroke and slash of his knife, the Attor sang him a symphony. Every scream, every hoarse cry pushed thoughts of mortals further from Azriel’s mind. And he was glad for it. Glad not to think. Glad not to feel. It was a survival instinct, long-kept and curated that had helped him to manage in those wretched years in darkness. At the first drops of blood, any reasoning would depart. His body would numb. The way he preferred. There was nothing except the void that he’d grown up in.
His spying took him to the Continent although no secrets could be yielded. The queens' fortress was fortified with wards and magic that his shadows wouldn’t penetrate easily. They could only manage it with Rhys because they’d had five centuries to understand his magic. He hated not being able to return with good news. It was his one purpose and, even then, he failed at it. For an hour or two, he monitored the Spring Court. Feyre’s letter had reached Tamlin if the sounds of furniture being destroyed were anything to go by, but that soon subsided and there was no further movement from the manor.
Beyond the lack of intel that he could garner, the throb in his chest refused to subside. It was a constant, dull ache that rattled his bones so he couldn’t forget about it. Pain wasn’t an issue. He had pushed through it enough. He couldn’t figure out what it could be. It was rare he ever sought out a healer, preferring to clean his own wounds and deal with them himself, but how could he heal when he didn’t know what had caused the burning sensation?
Mor intercepted him on his return to Velaris. She caught him slipping a hand beneath his leathers to rub against the bare skin of his chest to try and ease the ache on the balcony.
‘Are you injured?’
‘No.’
‘Just fondling yourself then. Any news?’
‘No.’
Mor tossed her long, blonde hair over her shoulder with an exaggerated sight. ‘Well, the eldest sister has well and truly pissed Cassian off. She’s all he can talk about.’
His rage spiked at that. ‘Why?’
‘Because she’s a bitch. I can’t decide if Cassian wants to kill her or kiss her.’
Azriel clenched his teeth together to jail the remark that had threatened to burst out of him. A shadow brushed against the back of his neck in an attempt to soothe him.
‘I need to speak to Rhys,’ he said curtly.
Their conversation lasted a handful of minutes. Azriel had nothing to offer, only guilt that he hadn’t been able to find anything concrete to help. Surprising him, Rhys suggested they spar up on the roof of the House of Wind. They hadn’t sparred together since before Amarantha. And the reason for it now, he realised, was because Feyre was training with Cass. Any excuse for Rhys to whip his shirt off and show off. Azriel supposed that beating him into the ground wouldn’t win Feyre’s heart – or maybe she’d like to play healer with his brother. Azriel did not care. He wanted this ache in his chest gone. If that meant gaining more bruises to distract himself then so be it.
His mood remained sour in the following days. Neither his shadows nor spies were able to provide anything worth passing along. Frustration wound him tighter. It wasn’t helped when Azriel finally sought out Madja who could not find a single thing wrong with him. He was perfectly well – except the constant pain beneath his heart. He debated cutting the thing out. The Mother knew he'd cope without a heart.
Mor convinced him to join them at Rita’s although he loathed the place. There was too much to be done to waste time at a bar, but he had always been weak where she was concerned. Mor could ask him for anything and Azriel would give it willingly. But she never wanted anything from him. She would dance with anybody except him. She’d find a reason to stop dancing or would pull Cass up too if he tried. Each time, Azriel was left jaded and hurt, but he could never stop himself. There was something to be said about clinging to constant rejection.  
When he watched her dance that night, blonde hair billowing out behind, a dazzling smile flashed to anyone, he didn’t care. He saw the falseness behind the smile – he always had – and knew it was all an act to gain allies and information. Azriel had shadows, Mor had smiles. She danced like nobody was watching because she knew everybody was. She demanded the attention, coveted it. It was a day wasted if Mor wasn’t the centre of somebody’s orbit.
A familiar flare of heat burst beneath his heart, clawing at his ribs. He grimaced as he pressed a hand to it; that seemed to be the only thing that ever provided any relief. His thoughts wandered to the Wall, as they often did. They hadn’t heard from the Archeron sisters. Despite wanting to, despite rationalising that he should go there, Azriel hadn’t gone near the manor since. Shame welled up inside of him when he thought of the night spent creeping through its silent corridors. He'd known it was wrong before he had even climbed out of bed but had still done it. When he tried to imagine the reception that he might receive from Nesta if he returned, images of her in her silk nightgown with soft hair cascading around her body flooded him. Those silver eyes had seen him. He knew they had.
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avatrice + listening to music
A box is delivered to their doorstep three weeks after they arrive in Switzerland.
There's no sender, no return, and no label. Just a plain brown box sitting in the center of the welcome mat Ava forced her to buy.
It's only tell to Beatrice -about it not being a trap- is the tiny dents in the sides, laid in a cross-like configuration that a postman might wonder about for a moment, but ultimately decide it was from shipping.
Inside the box is what she really cares about.
She sets in gently on the coffee table, seeing Ava perk up from where she was busy writing German words into English. Beatrice slips a knife from its place under the table, cutting just far in enough into the packing tape to grip underneath and pull.
"What's that?" Ava asks, standing up from her cross-legged position on the floor. She pads over quickly, removing the protective paper from inside.
Beatrice let's her, smiling softly when Ava's face lights up when she sees the old vinyl records neatly organized. Her hands pass over the top of each of them, feeling where the old cardboard has been smoothed down by countless people in the past.
She has them all spread out on the carpet before Beatrice can start to explain what they are.
"Oh my gosh," Ava says once she's firmly in the center of the mess, pushing and grabbing all the records. She begins to laugh to herself, rising in volume until she can't keep herself upright and falls onto her back. "This is the most Catholic vinyl collection I've ever seen. You have VeggieTales, Beatrice."
"I have no clue what that is."
That, apparently, was the wrong thing to say because Ava sits up quickly, hair falling into her face. She's resting back on her hands, legs outstretched in front of her while she just stares. "How have you not seen VeggieTales? Isn't that like peak Christian kid?"
Beatrice doesn't react beyond a blank stare and Ava's eyes widen to a near painful width. "Beatrice this is a travesty. Even Diego managed to sneak a few episodes past Frances before she deemed them "too fun" and threw away all our copies."
Sighing, Beatrice bends to pick up the bright green case, looking at each of the characters in turn. She doesn't understand how fruits and vegetables have anything to do with growing up Christian but Ava seems adamant that she should've at some point. "I'm sure my parents banned it because of the colors."
"My mom banned Lilo and Stitch. Said the older sister was too mean or something."
"The Hawaiian alien movie?"
"That's the one!" Ava's brow furrow for a second while she watches Beatrice attempt to lay the vinyls into a stack. "You know what Lilo and Stitch is, but you don't know what VeggieTales is?"
"Camila loves children's movies." Is Beatrice's only explanation, brushing imaginary dust off her pants when she stands. "I'm sure she's seen VeggieTales."
Ava nods in agreement, picking up the top record off its new stack. It's Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker", one of the few plays Beatrice's parents had allowed her to see when she asked. "Who's this guy? Ta-chy-something."
"Tchaikovsky. He was a Russian composer in the mid 1800's."
Another nod and Ava slides the case off carefully, muttering "chai goth tea, got it," to herself. Beatrice can see the way her lips twitch down, though, a clear sign she's trying not to laugh at her own joke.
The needle slides into place with a soft scratch, the center of the player begins to spin, and soon "Decoration the Christmas Tree" fills their small living room. Beatrice can still picture the backdrop tree in the back of the stage. Far too large to ever be real, but she remembered thinking it was and being amazed at all the ornaments adorning it's innumerable branches.
She'd like to take Ava to see it one day. When this is all over and snow lays in a heavy sheet across their little village. She doubts it'll be as magical as it was when she was a child, but it's still a wish she has. To see Ava's dark eyes light up with the Christmas tree as the bright reds, yellows, blues, and countless other colors paint a picture in eyes that want to capture everything.
Maybe when they're done with this fight they can come back here and watch it. Show up opening day and stay until well after everyone has gone home.
But for now, this is enough. Watching Ava close her eyes to the swells and drops of the song, a slight smile at the corners of her mouth.
Decoration of the Christmas Tree by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
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leiawritesstories · 7 months
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I'll Take Care Of You
Rowaelin Month, Day 6: Forced Proximity
a direct continuation of THIS FIC (the emergency contact prompt) (@goddess-aelin you were right about them...knowing each other...earlier...)
Word count: 1.8k
Warnings: swearing, smut, dirty talk (oops), NSFW, and the loosest ever interpretation of "forced proximity" as an excuse for smut lol
Enjoy!!!
@rowaelinscourt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Stay with me, Ro?"
More emotions than she could count flashed across his face. He followed her into the hotel room, closed the door, and leaned himself against the door frame, resting the weight of his gaze on her.
"I'd love to.”
Aelin thought her heart was about to beat right out of her chest as she walked slowly into the hotel room, every inch of her skin hyper-aware of Rowan’s presence just behind her, close enough that she could practically feel his labored breath against her neck. He closed the door and flicked the lock, the quiet click of metal as loud as a thunderclap in the thick silence of the room. 
She dropped her purse on the desk, stepped out of her shoes, and attempted to unbutton her sweater. “Dammit!” she grunted, vexed with the way her immobilized arm made it impossible. 
“Let me.” In seconds, Rowan was beside her, unbuttoning the large buttons with a few dexterous flicks of his fingers. 
Aelin’s blood heated at the memory of just how dexterous those fingers of his could be. 
Clearly, his thoughts had gone in the same direction, because he closed his hands around the woolen knit of her sweater and used it to tug her closer to him, leaving barely a breath between his heavy breath and hers. 
“What do you need, Aelin?” His voice–gods burn her, his voice–dropped to a gravelly rumble, its rough timbre scraping deliciously against her burning nerves. 
“I–” 
The air conditioner switched on with a deafening whoosh, causing her to jump away from him in momentary shock. Her injured shoulder twinged with pain, and she hissed. 
“Shit!” 
“Aelin!” Concern splashed across Rowan’s face, dousing the simmering desire. “Are you alright?” 
She slipped the sweater from her shoulders and experimentally touched her injured one with her good hand. “I’m alright.” 
He heaved a massive sigh of relief. “You had me fucking scared, Ae.” 
“Why?” She sat down on the bed (the only bed in the room, as she was just now noticing) and locked her eyes with his. “We barely know each other, Rowan.” 
“Now that’s just not true.” His concern faded once again into desire, and he leaned down, bracing his arms on either side of her, and murmured his next words right into her ear. “Or have you already forgotten the way you screamed my name two nights ago?” 
She gasped, her back arching as if pulled into the sinful promise written all over his face. “I’m injured, Ro.” 
“I can see that.” 
“I’m in no condition to repeat everything we might have done that night.” 
“Clearly.” He dragged his burning stare over her hammering pulse, brushed the pad of his thumb across her pulse point. 
The simple, almost innocent touch turned her lingering doubt into searing passion. “The nurse said I needed someone to take care of me while I recover,” she mused, covertly undoing the zipper of her slacks. 
“I’ll take care of you,” he rumbled, leaving absolutely no doubt that he would. 
“Just…just be careful,” she whispered, catching his chin with her good hand and bringing his attention fully to her. 
He closed the distance between them and kissed her softly, gently, a promise made without words. “Don’t worry, Ae. I will.” 
“Thank you,” she breathed. 
His answer was another kiss, this one deeper, slower, drawn out so that she arched into his touch. “Lie down, love, let me take care of you.” He leaned over her and adjusted the pillows, then guided her down onto her back so her injured shoulder was supported. 
She refused to admit that her powerful surge of feeling was anything resembling love. 
“Why don’t we get rid of all that constricting fabric?” Rowan hummed, deftly unbuttoning her blouse, sliding it off, and unfastening her bra nearly as fast. It was strapless, so he had no issue slipping it through her sling and tossing it carelessly to the floor. “Better, love?” 
Aelin could only moan at the sudden sensation of cool air against her flushed, bare skin. 
He smirked. “And I don’t think we need these, either.” Her slacks were swiftly discarded on the floor, leaving her wearing only a pair of lacy little black panties. “Did you wear these all day, Aelin?” he murmured, trailing one finger over the dampened lace and chuckling at her soft, needy whine. “Were you hoping to take them off for me like a good girl?” 
“Yes,” she moaned, the word tearing itself out of her throat in a desperate whine. 
“Such a good girl.” He withdrew for a moment–just long enough to toss his jacket to the floor, undo his tie, and roll his sleeves halfway up his forearms. “Lie still, love. Remember, you need to relax and let me take care of you.” 
She exhaled shakily, willing her body to remain calm even as Rowan–still fully clothed–slid his broad, strong hands up the length of her legs, guiding them apart and returning his hand to her wet cunt, tracing too-light circles against her clit. “Rowan.” 
“Aelin,” he parrotted, bending down to kiss her deeply. She melted into his demanding kiss, opening her lips at the first brush of his tongue, and he rewarded her by sliding his whole hand into her drenched panties and thrusting two thick fingers into her. 
She moaned, long and loud, bucking her hips up into his hand. He chuckled darkly and trailed his lips down her throat, teasing her with biting little kisses and leisurely curling his fingers inside of her, the sensations divine but just not quite enough to push her into her beckoning orgasm. She smothered her urge to grip his wrist and make him move faster, the effort showing in her breathy little gasps and moans. 
“Good girl,” he praised, speeding up the pace of his fingers and grinding the heel of his palm into her clit. She groaned his name, eyes screwed shut in pleasure, and he cupped his other hand around her chin, dragged his thumb over her jaw, parted her lips with the digit. “Need a little more, love?” He slipped the pad of his thumb into her mouth, and she immediately closed her lips around it, tongue flicking against his thumb in imitation of what his clever, talented, good girl could do. “Fuck.” 
“Fuck!” she echoed, her moan muffled by his thumb in her mouth. The garbled plea only spurred him on, and he pumped his fingers inside her even faster. 
“Come for me, love,” he groaned into her neck, crooking his fingers to hit that spot that made her see stars. 
With a low moan that went straight to Rowan’s painfully hard cock, Aelin came, clenching around his fingers, her legs shaking as waves of pleasure crashed over her. He stroked her through her orgasm, only pulling his fingers out of her when the tremors had subsided. 
“Look how good you are for me,” he murmured, raising his glistening fingers to his lips. 
She groaned softly as he licked his fingers clean, watching his eyes roll back at the taste of her on his tongue. “Let–let me–” 
“Let you what, love?” Without warning, he tore her soaked panties off, leaving her completely nude while he was still completely clothed, only the top two buttons of his dress shirt undone. 
The contrast made her even wetter. 
“Let me take care of you,” she pleaded, breathily. 
He shook his head, softness creeping into his expression. “Tonight is about you, Ae, not about me.” Before she could protest, he stepped back from the bed and rapidly stripped off his clothes. 
“Fuck,” she breathed as he lowered himself back down onto the bed, fitting his sculpted beauty against her hypersensitive skin. 
“That’s the idea,” he teased. He laughed softly at her little snort. “Come here.” Smoothly, he rolled onto his back and positioned her above him, careful to move slowly so that he didn’t bump her injured shoulder. 
“Ro–oh gods!” Aelin broke into a moan and rocked her hips against his, feeling his hard, heavy cock slide easily between her soaked thighs. “Rowan!” 
“Aelin,” he gasped, guiding her down onto his cock and groaning thickly at the almost too-perfect sensation of her cunt gripping his cock. She groaned along with him and braced her good hand flat on his chest, steadying herself as she began to rock her hips. “That’s it, love,” he encouraged. “Ride my cock like you were made for it.” 
A garbled moan tore from her throat, and she moved faster, more erratically, her head tipping back as she hurtled closer and closer to her second orgasm of the night. Rowan matched her pace until she started begging, then sat up in one smooth motion and pressed her as close to his chest as possible without hurting her. He cupped one hand at the back of her head, fingers tangling into her hair, and trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down her throat, whispering dirty praises against her skin. 
“You close, Ae?” She nodded, panting, her breath ragged. “Give me a little more, love, I know you can do it.” His other hand slid down her spine, fingertips grazing her ass before his hand wrapped around her hip. “That’s it–ah, good fucking girl,” he groaned as she clenched around his cock so tightly his brain froze for a moment. “Aelin!” 
“Ro!” she screamed, her body going loose and pliant against his as she came so hard her vision went white. Dimly, she felt his orgasm explode with hers, but she was so consumed by the force of her orgasm that she lost all coherent thought for a few moments. 
He moved with her as they both came down from the high, dropping soft, sweet kisses all over her neck, collarbones, and shoulder. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and breathed in his ever-present faint scent of evergreen forests as her body slowly calmed down. 
After they had both settled, Rowan lifted Aelin off his lap and carried her into the bathroom, where he filled the spacious bathtub with comfortably hot water. He carried her into the tub and allowed her to settle back into his lap, quietly reveling in the feeling of her gorgeous self pliant against him, letting him carefully clean her up. He helped her out of the tub and wrapped her in a soft towel, ever careful of her injured arm, and within a few minutes, he was readjusting her support pillows and helping her get settled in bed. 
She tugged on his hands. “Stay.” 
Who was he to resist her? “Of course.” He slipped into the bed, and she immediately curled as close to him as possible. She was asleep in moments, a soft smile curling the corners of her lips. 
Right then and there, she was the most beautiful part of his life.
~~~
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