#i have not had much attentjon. in life...

[timeandspacelord]

Uh oh it's time for 3 AM Feel Like Shit

#there's a lot and like I want to talk about it but I also don't #I need someone to tell me everything's gonna work out but I can never make myself believe it #I need comfort but I don't want to be a burden and any comfort will feel empty because that's how my brain is #I need to process all the things I'm feeling things that have been building up for a year at least but I can't #I can't because I don't want to think about them and I don't have time for a breakdown I haven't had time this whole fucking year #and every time I think I have it together it turns out I don't and I feel so so young and life is so much #and none of this is new stuff either and I don't know why it had to get so much worse right now but I wish I could just function #I wish my brain worked right and I wish that I felt capable of being loved and I wish that I could feel like a real person #I wish I still felt like I could actually have the life I wanted #and I wish crying wouldn't fully fucking plug up one of my nostrils #personal #just... ignore this I'm tired and my brain is mean and while I would appreciate comfort I don't think it'd actually help #and I'm also literally incapable of talking about my problems outside of stupid vague shit that probably makes people worry about me #which probably makes me come off as an attentjon-seeking asshole when the reality is that I have no other outlets for everything in my head #I'm sorry to everyone who followed me for literally anything and now has to bear witness to my deteriorating mental state

[kindlydelta]

#k #q #i have not had much attentjon. in life... #😭😭😭