#i have now two (2) crushes

[talentforlying]

priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?

constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...

constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"

babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)

anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.

80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.

and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?

hm. i just don't know about all that.

#also this is where my headcanons tag is from <3 #( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD. #( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN. #sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things #and somehow. after 250 issues of putting his life on the line bc he could never really make himself look away from people suffering #the soft sullen guilty person who wants so fucking desperately to be a better man? is never one of those two things #idk man. i think about this issue all the time #if i put these pages side-by-side with his grief in hellblazer 2? with his grief in hellblazer 213? 215? during the empathy virus arc? #it becomes CRYSTAL clear that the guy we know at the end of hellblazer isn't someone the guy who sat vigil for gary lester would recognize #in fact i think he's someone that hellblazer 81 constantine would fucking Hate #ANYway yeah. i don't think he lied to dream about the pouch. i don't think he ever got it open. i don't think that's canon for me #i want him to fucking Earn his asshole nature. the hard way. by making All The Wrong Choices that it took to get him there #he paved that road with good intentions himself but. he also used to remember the ones he started with #idk if i'm making sense but i have had this panel open on my laptop for Two Months now #bc i can never stop thinking about how fucking crushed he is here to realize that he might be exactly as bad a man as sarah said he was #and how little it will surprise him later on to learn that he is Easily capable of So Much Fuckin Worse #and with that your honor the defense rests. our evidence? just. just Look at this fuckin guy #scopophobia / #scopophobia #eye contact / #eye contact tw

[scuopsie]

I was tagged by @niteview to post my comfort movies & tv shows!! hi lissa <3333 thank you so much for tagging me!!! i LOVE this!!!!

Movies:

me: *holding my old cartoon dvds and crying* ALL OF THEM

(in no particular order)

1- Howl's Moving Castle

2- Captain America: The Winter Soldier

3- Avengers Endgame

4- A Simple Favor

5- Crazy Rich Asians

Bonus: The Phantom Of The Opera (havent watched it in a hot minute but i would not be the woman i am today (weirdo) without this movie)

TV Shows:

(in order)

1- Bones

2- Suits

3- The Originals

4- Children Of Nobody (also known as Red Sun Blue Moon) (kdramas count right?)

5- The Witcher (specifically season 2)

Bonus: The Time Traveler's Wife (2022)

Tagging: @uh0paque @joosgf @starlightfantasy @haechannabelle @biboramp3 @nunutual (i wanted tag my new svt moots too but im shy🫣💕)only if you guys want to!!!!!

#i could honestly list 20 movies.... like most of the classic barbie movies. a lot of older disney movies... #some 2010s teen comedies like Wild Child and Saint Trinians... i love these two... #my top comfort movies used to be La La Land and The Fault in our stars for years sdjlsdjf i had an emo phase #for tv shows id say mostly the first 3... like ive watched bones and suits a BILLION TIMES START TO FINISH #i debated putting spn in there but i only rewatched it completely once. it was a comfort show when it was ongoing but i didn't care-> #-> that much after it finished #there are also a couple of new shows i really like but i didn't put them there bc idk if theyre gonna become comfort shows but #i really loved watching Only murders in the building :((((( cant wait for next season #also Blue eye samurai... literally has been living in my head rent free since i binged it like a week ago or so #im lowkey embarrassed abt the bonus show but... yeah. i know the concept is super weird but... theo james <3 #i swear me having only 2 white actor crushes who are both british IS A COINCIDENT (the other is henry cavil (mostly as geralt)) #no one believes me... #anyway. i will shut up now <3 #tag game #mentions

[brightbluekicks]

god said sadie for december 2023 instead of getting any romantic reciprocation from that guy you've been wishing and hoping and praying for something to happen with for months you're gonna get reruns. and then brought not 1 but 3 women whom i had weird things with in the past back into my life so they could do vaguely romantic confusing things near me

#txt #1 is my slightly older friend who i was SO attracted to when we first met and who is now... sort of hitting on me? i cannot tell if she's #just being friendly but every time we talk she says something complimentary about my appearance and i have no idea whats going on. #number 2 is #🏹 #who idk. seems very sweet and friendly to me these days and for the callbacks for the musical the two of us were sitting and like wrapped #around each other and theyve also been sort of flirty with me recently. i think. idk its hard to tell. #and number 3 is my dear friend di who i think is unbelievably hot and i had a lil crush on her at the end of sophomore year and last night #she was saying that no one likes her back and that she wants to be in a relationship but doesn't know how to do it and i was sitting there #reading tarot cards about romance for her and thinking 'i think i should stop drinking now bc if i have any more vodka i just know im going #to end up telling her that i had feelings for her a while back. and that would be bad' UGH what is happening

[pokimoko]

Shoutout to all the little guys in my phone who help to bring joy to my day. I love you all equally I swear! there is absolutely no blatant favouritism towards @mockspector​ here absolutely none.

#me #my stuff #beloved mutuals #not gonna tag all of you because save for two of these guys you all follow me #but in order: mockspector (new bestie <3). be-they-do-crimes. smokeyrutilequartz. pizzee (beloved). tiptapricot (also beloved) #ayratheaverage (BEST FRIEND TO WHOM I AM DEVOTED). owlpip (art envy and my new secret crush). mrcspectr. rabblerebelreject. #love how all my favs are either 1. nonbinary/trans or 2. bisexual (or both) #don't mind me just playing a game of Nonbinary/Trans or Bi Tic Tac Toe with my favourite mutuals #Also Moon Knight or Queer Blog Tic Tac Toe #(though let's be honest most Moon Knight blogs are ALSO queer it's just a fact) #happy to be everyones lil cryptid who just shows up in their notes constantly but barely says a word #was inspired to make this post thanks to a conversation that will not be mentioned here because i know a certain someone will hear #and i'm not ready for the horrors #(but hell yeah mockspector we are totally besties now as if i wasn't already secretly in love with you) #(you were almost at 25% the other day and I was like 'damn i think i might be a bit little too obsessed with your posts') #ALSO COMMEMORATING ME FINALLY REACHING 4000 TOTAL LIKES AFTER 7 YEARS ON HERE #that's like 571 likes a year #which is not a lot in the scheme of things I have seen ayra's total like amount and it scares me #it's like that big book little book meme #with your help beloved mutuals i can shorten the distance

[smolcrimegoblin]

currently suffering because I finished Stormbringer and 15. guess who's reading Beast and spoiled themselves about chap 101 before reading 15, Stormbringer, and Beast.... this bitch...

KNOW I HAVE 2 NEW FICTIONAL CRUSHES- MOTHERFUCKING ADAM FRANKENSTEIN THE ANDROID DETECTIVE AND LIPPMAN, A DEAD FLAG/CELEBRITY/HOT GUY🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

also, I am crying over skk and the flags right now- I'm not even mentioning the fake-me-out death of Adam and WHAT RIMBAUD DID FOR VERLAINE-

HOLY SHIT-

Asagiri-Sensei.... my lawyers will be in contact... I hope to come to a settlement large enough to pay for my therapy and for my psychiatrist bills.... 🙂

#I take full responsibility for my hubris #Damn teens/Android/French hat guy/cold dude/5 dead flags #Fucking making me feel things #Also I never knew how obvious Dazai's crush is until now- #Like dude- the maid thing isn't helping #Neither is the dog for life thing #Or the “This is why I love you” thing #Bro has citizenship in Egypt and Narnia #1. Because bro is sooo deep into the closet #Aka the denial of wanting to die with Chuuya on the battlefield #He has a damn house in Narnia too #On God #2. De-nile is not only a river in Egypt #But also his everyday state #I see you oggling at Chuuya when he's fighting #i know what you are #Also the closet is glass- literal glass #These two have a death grip on me... #CURSE YOU SKK #bsd storm bringer #bsd stormbringer #stormbringer #bsd skk #skk #soukoku #soukouku #adam frankenstein #bsd chuuya #bsd nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya

[uiruu]

jesus... Streetlight Manifesto's The Hands that Thieve is 10 years old this year... that's weird to think about. that was such a formative moment for me. i was a junior in high school and had been into Streetlight for years, but the release of this album was huge. i got a bunch of friends together and we drove down to rhode island (we live in new hampshire) to see them play live, and we sang all the words to every single song. that was the first real concert i had been to

i saw them live three times after that too, over the years. in college, i wore a streetlight manifesto shirt (actually toh kay, but that's beside the point) and another kid in the class commented on it, and we became friends. eventually we started dating and we're still together. that was 7 and a half years ago

#it was so formative that i just copied and pasted this and posted it on facebook. i havent really posted on facebook in years #but i know connor and liam might see it #i went to that first concert with those two and my girlfriend at the time and one of her friends #well... initially it was a girl i merely had a crush on and one of her friends. except the roles were reversed #between the time of buying the tickets and going to the concert... me and the friend of the girl i had a crush on started dating #she was my first significant other. it was weird then to go with her and her friend (who i initially invited because i had a crush on her) #did i explain that well enough? let's call them K and B. i asked out K and she said no lol. months pass #we all got into this new streetlight album pretty heavily. i suggested we go see them live. then B and i started dating #was it weird that K was still going then after that? idk lol. we havent kept in touch since high school. wonder where she is now #B and i had a pretty awful horrible breakup a year or two later for unrelated reasons. it was always a pretty bad relationship. #it is weird though that 2 of the 3 significant others that i've had have basically been because of streetlight manifesto lol #it's just that one was a bad relationship and the other is very strong and has lasted for 7 years. going on 8. #streetlight has kinda been the backdrop to a lot of things that happened in my life lol #and to think... somewhere in the between is just way better hahaha. hands that thieve is good but lets be honest here #personal #long post

[crehador]

this season’s astonishingly mediocre romcoms are making me realize shikimori was waaaaaay better than i originally gave it credit for

#crab watches #various things #tomo-chan is actually alright but the bits are pretty hit or miss since no two characters have THAT much chemistry with each other #i do like tomo and jun together in general #they have a nice dynamic and i dig their backstory (always a sucker for childhood friends) #as for ice guy... lmao a big yikes of a final episode today #overall this was such a soothing series and my main gripe (before today) was just its comedic timing #the bits almost all felt like they were 1.5 to 2 times longer than they needed to be #probably the series could've told the exact same story even with half-length episodes #the pacing of the relationship development was also imo not the best #wish they'd gone the horimiya route of having the couple get together and then just showing the relationship for a while #anyway new main gripe is the random fucking shotacon vibes in the final episode COULD WE NOT HAVE DONE WITHOUT #in hindsight there were warning signs #the first time himuro turned into a kid for magic yuki-onna reasons was actually kind of hilariously cute #like ''oh no the guy who's a yuki-onna descendant got too hot and melted on a company retreat in okinawa and #now he's turned into a kid in front of the colleague he has a crush on'' that's funny #but definitely not a joke worth visiting twice especially since the second visit was less ''funny'' and more ''suggestive'' #i will admit that it is reasonable for himuro to get all flustered when falling into a bed with fuyutsuki #even though his body changed into that of a child his mind is unchanged and this is still the woman he's crushing hard on #but tf was she getting flustered for too?? girl that is a child rn??? compose yourself #anyway these tags are getting absurdly long so i guess this is now #parting thoughts

[tiredsadpeach]

May not feel great rn but tomorrow I get to see my best friend and we’re exchanging gifts and then afterward I’m going with my sister to pick up a cat

#I don’t talk about this best friend on here a lot lately but he’s great and I love him #platonically and romantically #I’ve had a crush on him for uhh 9 years teehee #he doesn’t know I still feel that way or at least I hope he doesn’t because I don’t wanna make him uncomfy #we dated back in 2013 but I was a pos then and cheated on him because I give in to peer pressure #I’m serious about that btw like the chick that convinced me to cheat when we were official I went over to a friends house and she thought I #would cheat on her because I was so easy to convince the first time lmao #anyway that was forever ago and I am very very different now and would kill past me tbh for that teehee #this is the best friend that stayed with me after I cut off everyone because they stayed friends with my abuser #he’s literally the fucking best and I love him so much and I hope we always stay friends despite my Crazy lol #but also CAT INFOOOO okay so me and my sister went to our local pet store and they partner with a specific shelter? idk I can’t give the #name out because the only pet store listed on their website is the one we go to and that’s too much info about where I live lmao #ANYWAY I was more just showing her the two 4 month old brothers I saw the other day because they’re cute and I was hoping I’d see they were #adopted which they weren’t but they’re chatty kittens they’ll be gone soon tbh probably snatched up for Christmas #but so I had just been there two days ago on the 16th and we went on the 18th and one new cat was there #a 1 1/2 year old black cat named Morticia!! she was so cute they had a hot pink collar and bell on her and her file said she gets along well #with dogs and other cats (perfect for us we live with our parents still so full house) and it said she loves to be held and talked to ☹️☹️☹️ #and her arrival date? the 16th so I just missed her but ALSO that’s one of our family dog’s birthday he turned 5 that day!! #also learned today Morticia had three kittens who have all been adopted and you’ll never guess their names #Wednesday pugsly and thing teehee #the fact that cat is just named Thing is so fucking funny #anyway my sister was petting her and she rolled into it ☹️ got head scratches and ear rubs and THEN I was filling out the application for he #while we waited for our parents to call us back and Morticia LAID HER HEAD IN MY SISTERS HAND ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ #so yeah my sister fell in love and the naming matches so well with her other cat who is about 2 years old now who’s a long haired tortoise #named Magnolia !! she’s a really chill cat who when it comes to other cats if the cat likes her she likes the cat but she’s also the younges #cat we have rn but my cats half adore her and half dgaf like my older two just want to be left alone by the animals and loved on by humans #but my younger two (8 and 5) still act like babies and run around like kittens so they love magnolia and she loves them so I have no doubt #Morticia is gonna fit in just fine and we don’t have to change her name!! #idk about y’all but we like always change our pets’ names when we adopt them and sometimes I’m glad we do because we have an anxious big #mutt doggie and we named him Chimmy which worked out well because he’s kinda silly and goofy and yknow neurodivergent but his og name?

[crashed-on-mars]

sometimes I hate being fat like I like being fat but I wish other people could be attracted to me ever

#vent post #ish #dont reblog this is cringe #so far ive had a million crushes and 2 girlfriends and not a single one has been into me or attracted to me like at all #i dont know if its just because im fat or if also its because i have bad personality i dont know but i dont like it #i like being fat i like looking normal but i hate that everyone else on earth thinks im gross and ugly #i hate feeling like any romantic companionship is completely unattainable. i will get through high school alone and go to college alone #and die alone because i dont get to have boyfriends or girlfriends that like me. i get two strangers who say they like me for the novelty #until it gets old. i hate this i hate this i want to be loved and wanted and desired i want other people to bend over backwards trying to #get a glimpse of me i want other people to spend hours thinking about me i want other people to constantly talk to their friends about me #AUGH its so cringe that im talking about this on tumblr right now what the fuck is wrong with me

[rocaillefox]

was thinking i might be somewhat aro for a bit there but recently experienced an infatuation and so i will scrap that and freely admit i am just awkward and inexperienced, which is something that i dont doubt many others in their 20s who are lgbt+ also are

#it was very funny too i was like. 'am i a lesbian? i havent experienced attraction for a bit... do i egen do that anymore-' #and saw a woman i was so attracted to that i could not speak for a second #btw i am at liberty to define what those terms all mean for me etc as nobody who would respond to this here is in my head or living my life #so no anons nitpicking my identity please thanks #ramblings #dont wish me luck or anything btw. its a completely unreciprocated crush for multiple reasons #anyways its 2:30 so ill entrust this to you all. my followers #(btw none of this is said self depreciatingly etc. i am working on self confidence and finding fulfillment in life regardless of how it goes #and im doing a pretty good job of it imo! def in a better emotional situation than two years ago or so) #when i say awkward its the kind of awkwardness every beginner at something ppl have bc i have only ever been in a relationship once adjbsfb #and it was online. and honestly i wasnt sure what a relationship was totally #and i only mention that it was online bc i have even less of an idea on how to approach in person relationships #NOT to devalue it etc #anyways anyways anyways #tbh im not in a place to be in a relationship right now

[marklikely]

i still think one of the dumbest things in the entire saw franchise is when jigsaw puts that cop guy in a game where the lesson is that he helps people too much. and needs to learn to stop trying to save others from danger.

#ignoring the fact that no such cop would exist in real life like. what a fucking batshit take #you help people too much. its not your job to save people. so now you must be punished. fuck everyone they have to help themselves #avpost #hes like oh you played my game? you played my game and solved my puzzles to try and save some guy? fuck you his head is crushed by ice now. #thats what you get. serves you right for trying to save people . #sorry i just remembered that this happened so i dont recall if they ever gave like. a twist explanation that made this make sense #i dunno. maybe it was because the two guys he was trying to save were hoffman and the cop from saw 2 who are like. the worst characters

[thisloev]

2000 posts!

#2000 posts #tumblr milestone #omg hiii i remember u u sent me an email at 50 posts and i made a face like 😖😤 and immediately unsubscribed #2000 is niceeeee tho i like it #so many achievements today #(okay maybe just one more) (no no def two) #1. for the first time in my life my balance sheet was tallied in first attempt!!!! literally first time and ive been doing accs for like 3+ #years now lol 😭 #it was in the middle of a test and i was having a whole moment with myself like GIRL omg you're so smart ily 😳😳😳 #it was also a chp that i skipped prev attempt mein bc i heard it was too complicated #so like #growth 😭😭😭 #hopefully this is the path to healing etc #2. i talked to a beloved writer on twt they're literally the coolest person ever their fic made me cry #i think abt that fic randomly like when im listening to a specific song or when s**gyu does something s**gyu #like just today sb talked abt their daegu trip and i was like omg that fic it's real 😭😭😭 #oh one more #a cute girl smiled at me 5 times in tui #it was cause she was sitting near the door and everytime i went in out she would look up and smile #nice na it's always helpful to have a motivation crush i read this concept in a fic and im an avid follower since then <3 #desiblr #mes

[snow-bomb]

omfg

#literally experienced a sign frm God 2day #because this one boy friend i have who ive like tried to ignore for awhile #because one #i had a bf who i loved dearly #and two i wasnt interested #even tho he's really sweet and cool #anyways now tht i'm single my sister and mum keep telling me to give him a chance #so i was literally abt to like i j decided last night im going 2 tell him i like him #but my best girl friend magdalena JUST told me she has had the biggest crush on him #for like AGES #and i j had to sit there like #omfg #so that was my divine sign for NOT giving him a chance #bye omg ngl i'm a little dissapointed why is this hppening to me