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mattodore · 2 months

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a little update on what i've been doing in the sims lately! don't mind the huge walls of text for once i'm saying things in the post instead of the tags lmao

matthias's scars are very slowly coming along! i really love his left leg scar but can't really show all of it because i'd have to get him naked for that and it also wraps around his leg. um, but it starts at the side of his hip and carves down at an angle before abruptly following a steep line to the back of his calf. it looks gnarly which is exactly what i'm trying to achieve with matthias's scars! i'm also pretty pleased with the scars on his wrists and side, but the scar he has on the back of his right leg is... a little too crunchy? i don't know, it just looks weird. it's kind of hard to get the scars i'm making to look good on matthias's body. especially scars that're smaller or delicate... like the instant loss of quality makes me want to chew on exposed wires. but that's where i've left off on them! his arms and back are where he has the most damage but my god... it's SO difficult trying to get scars to look nice over his biceps and back muscles. also the hair ties i made for him look nice on his wrist <3

theo's apartment is also finally in the works. i've got the base layout finished and a general idea of what all the rooms are for. building and decorating isn't actually that daunting to me, surprisingly—instead, what's actually causing me a lot of grief is the realization that this is too big for theo to really be comfortable in. so, i was thinking, okay, that's fine, just get rid of three of the rooms and scale down the living area. only to pause and take into account the fact that theo's parents pay for this. they're controlling and also very big on appearance so i'm not sure they'd be fine with their son living in a shoebox—i mean, what would people say if word got to them that he doesn't even have a walk-in closet? like... that's the kind of people they are. but i wanted theo to feel comfortable in his apartment so now i'm feeling conflicted on how i want it to look. i'm definitely going to scale down the bedrooms and the living area... but it'll still feel too big to theo. there are just too many corners for him to ever fully let his guard down... which, hm... well, maybe that fits the story more anyway.

this is his general aesthetic for the interior btw... i want it to be brown, cream, and green all throughout the apartment with splashes of orange (this mix between his old dorm and his childhood home but with something new blending it together). i really wanted him to have stained glass windows in his kitchen and bathroom but couldn't find any </3 so sadly that's not happening. and i need to find a nice curio cabinet for his collection of bells... along with bells too lmao. but that's where i'm at so far! i'm seriously going to just sit here in build mode for hours just... trying to figure out how to make this place more comfortable for theo. like it's supposed to be where he feels safe but it's just too much rn.

#river dipping #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #echthroi #also if anyone has any tips on getting scars or other skin details to look good let me know please...#i'd love to try projection painting again but my laptop is too slow and i can't get opengl to function on my desktop </3 #like i get an error every time i try to open matthias's .obj and even reddit is failing me on a fix for it <///3 #and okayyy theo's apartment!! i'm so torn up abt it now #but does his bed not look super fucking comfortable...#i might have to change his bed to that queen bed in the guest room just because the one in theo's room is... interestingly colored.#i'm going to recolor it to just plain white/cream sheets... and maybe mess with the mesh a bit. really i should test the bed in game #bc i'm not sure it'll work very well...#i wanted theo to have a wooden headboard but all of the ones i had like that just didn't look like he could nestle into them #he's just. a little guy. if i can't picture theo curling up in the center of the bed then it just won't work #but yeah. that’s my update ☝️#........i'm super excited to start on the home matthias buys shortly after he starts falling in love with theo btw #the floor plan in my head is so beautiful and it's all very open... bc <3 matthias was thinking abt putting theo in his home from the jump #long post

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puhpandas · 5 months

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Veering Off Course

(2,305 words)

Gregory and his family get a call that Vanessa, whos in a different state for college, has gotten hurt. Gregory calls Evan, and Evan is able to use the things he's learned about himself since meeting Gregory to help his friend with his emotions regarding the situation.

Its early in the morning on a Saturday when Evan gets the call. It woke him up, so all he does is blink groggily and swipe at the screen blindly while propped up on his elbow until his thumb hits 'answer' on his phone. "Hello?"

"Evan." It's Gregory, and the serious tone to just that single word clears up Evan's brain as fast as lightning. He scrambles to prop himself into sitting up and rubs at his eyes with one hand.

"Gregory?" Evan asks, looking at the little icon he set for Gregory's contact of a picture of Evan and him at an amusement park. "Is everything okay?"

It takes a second for Gregory to respond, and it causes the anxiety that had steadily began to bubble inside of him to surge. "Gregory?"

"Sorry." Gregory finally answers. "I-- Uh... can you..." His friend struggles for words, and Evan tries to be as patient as possible as it becomes clearer every second something is wrong. "Can you come over? Like right now?"

Evan flounders for words for a second, but manages to force his mouth to say, "Of course."

"Okay." Gregory replies, and a surge of worry shoots through his chest when Gregory sounds like he might cry. He takes a breath on the other end, then, "Please hurry."

After that, Evan only lingers enough to respond with a short confirmation and goodbye before hanging up the phone. It takes him record time to shoot out of bed, sling on some shoes, and get down the street a few houses to Gregory's own.

His mind had played multiple awful scenarios of what terrible thing could have happened the entire time, but his worry does not ebb when he makes it to the porch and knocks on the door to a teary eyed Gregory.

Evan's immediately herded inside. Freddy has his phone in his hand pressed up against his ear, and he's pacing around the room. Aunt Chica and Aunt Roxy sit in the living room. Bonnie is sat in a dragged-over dining chair by Freddy and frowning.

It's dead silent in the house; even the TV and seemingly endless energy flowing through and causing bustling noise is snuffed out to nothing. Evan watches as everyone sits completely seriously and quiet, hands held in their lap or thrumming against something.

Impatience, is what Evan first thinks of. They're waiting for something. News, maybe? Freddy is on the phone. It's so silent you could hear a pin drop. Or somebody else's phone vibrate.

Evan's dread and anxiety only get worse when Gregory shuts the door behind him and tugs on him a bit. Evan follows without struggle, thousands of words and questions on his tongue when Gregory leads him to one of the unoccupied seats in the living room; a loveseat.

He sits down with him, and Gregory's face is scrunched up in barely restrained worry. Evan watches his friend, who's been an anchor for himself for so long, tremble and hunch in on himself. "Gregory?"

Gregory's eyes dart to him, and Evan leans down, hunching forward with his elbows rested on his thighs like theyre their own personal bubble. Evan's own brows furrow, and he feels the familiar thickness in his throat just at watching his friend be upset.

Evan grabs at his hand, squeezing it tight and lacing their fingers together. "I'm really worried, Gregory... please tell me whats wrong." Evan pleads. "Please?"

Gregory nods unsurely after a moment, and Evan watches him swallow thickly before turning to him fully. "Dad got a call from the University of Oregon today."

Evan's brows raise, but he nods to keep going. The University of Oregon is the college Gregory's sister, Vanessa, had left home to go attend. Evan hasnt gotten the chance to meet her, yet. She's already been gone two years strong, with a seemingly bright future. Evan's heard Gregory and his family talk about her enough to know her talents.

Gregory's breath hitches, and Evan wraps his other hand around Gregory's, the one he already has ahold of. He sandwiches it in-between his own and hopes it's enough comfort.

"Somebody called us and told us Vanessa got into a car crash today. On campus."

It's like a bucket of ice water is poured on Evan's head. His feet go cold, and his eyes widen to saucers. Fear shoots like an arrow through his stomach. When he stops reeling from the news, he watches Gregory begin to shake and lose the carefully gathered composure he'd put up since Evan arrived.

"They said..." Gregory's brows are furrowed so much it looks like it hurts. Theres a clench in his jaw and a wetness to his eyes Evan isnt used to. "They said she's already been taken to the hospital and is in surgery." He frowns, and theres a twist in his lip that Evan is so familiar with. "They... a-all we can do is wait. They told us they'd let us know any updates."

The house is thrown back into such jarring silence after Gregory stops talking that Evan's ears start ringing. Which makes it clear as day when Gregory's breath turns harsh beside him.

Evan tears his eyes away from the floor and ignores the twisting feeling in his chest to look at his friend. He has his face buried in the hand that isnt held by Evan and is shaking in a way where you can tell theyre trying so hard to keep it together. Gregory's angled away from him, but Evan can see the panic on his face even from where he can see.

Evan's breath hitches, and the thickness in his throat begins to turn into burning as he scootches closer to Gregory on the couch and sets a hand on his shoulder. He tugs a bit until Gregory gets the message and let's him wrap his arms around his middle and hold him close.

Gregory makes some sort of horrible, upsetting hitching noise that causes the dam to break for Evan, before he sort of flops against him and brings up his own arms to clutch at his T-Shirt. Gregory's head thumps against his shoulder, and it's one of the only times Evan really becomes aware of the height he has on his friend.

"Its okay..." Evan says into Gregory's shoulder, because it's all he knows to do in the moment. He glances around and sees that Gregory's family has shifted to the dining room, leaving them alone. Evan finally feels the tears slip from his eyes as he presses closer, hugging him like his life depends on it. "Its okay, Gregory. It'll be okay."

"It's--" Gregory says, and Evan can hear how much his voice shakes with barely contained tears. "Its not. I can't-- We can't even go see her. We can't go and wait for her to wake up, or anything... we just have to--" He cuts himself off, and Evan feels Gregory shake harshly against him.

"We just have to sit here." Gregory says, voice thick. "I dont know what to do, Evan. I don't know what to do."

And its only that sentence that causes Evan to grapple at what to do, if his friend can't. And all he can think about is how himself would react if it were Gregory getting hurt.

All he'd be able to do is cry, he realizes. He wouldnt be able to do anything. Just wait and be scared.

But that's what Gregory is getting at, isnt he? He can't do anything. That's the thing. Evan has known Gregory long enough to get him. To know, him. Evan knows that Gregory doesnt sit around and cry like Evan does. He prefers to get up and do something about whatevers wrong.

Hes a problem solver instead of waiting around. A fighter instead of a crier. No wonder hes so bent out of shape about this. To have a loved one in danger, and when you're so used to getting up and making a plan to fix a problem and are forced to sit in standby...

Evan eases them down against the cushion of the couch, not once untangling themselves from eachother. Gregory shakes, but he does not cry. "So what would you do if you could?"

The hair from Gregory's bangs brushes against Gregory's neck as he moves his head. "I'd... I don't know. I'd at least try to get to her." Gregory says, voice unbelievably quiet. "At least get to her. Then figure it out from there. Just so I'm not waiting on phone calls."

Evan nods against him, his chin scrunching up Gregory's hair. His tears have long since stopped falling, but he knows he has dry tracks on his cheeks. "You have a plan."

Gregory makes some sort of noise that would sound like a snort in any other circumstances. "I would if I could." Gregory replies, squeezing his arms a bit tighter. "But I cant" He sighs, shuddering and heavy. "I just have to wait."

Evan hums. "You're worried, and you're stressed." He makes the same noise Gregory just did. "I know how you feel... I really do. Maybe not your exact situation, but... I get what it's like to feel helpless." He says. "You know what I would do?"

Gregory hums this time, questionative. Evan rubs circles into his back. "I'd sit there and wait, and wish for it to different. And when it wouldnt be, I'd cry."

Gregorys head shifts against that crook between Evan's chin and chest, almost like hes trying to look him in the eye but the hug prevents him from being able.

"All I ever did was cry." Evan says when Gregory doesnt respond. "Its the only thing that I could do to cope."

"...So..." Gregory asks, and his voice is thick again. "You mean..."

"You're stressed." Evan answers. "You're stressed and you're worried. So... why dont you let it out?"

Evan, out of anyone, knows how valuable emotions can be. He didnt, once upon a time. When everyone would just tell him how annoying it is. How useless it is. How he's asking for it. How he should have toughened up by now. When instead of comfort, he'd receive ridicule and prodding.

That's changed. Ever since a certain someone entered his life. He doesn't think of his emotions, himself so little anymore. So worthless. So maybe that's why Gregory perks up ever so slightly in understanding.

And that's all it takes.

Gregory's trembling turns into shoulder shaking sobs like the snap of a finger. He cries, open and unadulterated, and Evan just hugs him close and rubs his back, offering reassurances like Gregory has done for him so many times.

His own eyes burn when his best friends sobs are heard so openly and he can feel every shudder of his body. Evan's chin scrunches, and the tears fall right along with Gregory as Evan hugs him close, tucking his face into his hair.

"Im--" Gregory cries. "I-Im just so worried about her."

"I know." Evan responds, his own voice breaking as he pets Gregory's hair. His shirt is damp with tears but he doesnt care. "Itll be okay. It'll all be okay."

They stay like that for a while, and Evan can tell Gregory needs it. He needs it. The worry he felt that morning doesnt ever really leave, and it stays ever-present as Evan watches his friend fall apart. They stay stuck together like magnets, eventually only shoulder to shoulder with linked hands on the loveseat, and none of Gregory's family try to peel them apart when they eventually wander back into the living room.

They stay in a state of constant agonizing limbo all day. At 8:00pm, Freddy calls it a night. Gregory protests immediately, but Aunt Roxy calms him down almost seamlessly and convinces him to go to bed.

Of course, Evan follows him. He cant imagine a world where he doesnt. The air mattress stays deflated in Gregory's closet as it has been most of the time nowadays. All Evan has to do is kick his shoes off since he left home in his pajamas anyway and they're wrapped around eachother, tucked in Gregory's bed under his comforter in the dark.

Gregory is silent all throughout the night, even though Evan knows he's awake. Evan just hopes that... he did the right thing. Something knows is that suppressing how you feel isnt good. It never works. No matter how much you want it to.

Gregory taught him that. He just wants to return the favor. Not because he owes Gregory, no. Gregory has long since hammered it into Evan's thick skull that he has nothing to pay him back for. That his kindness is not a deed to Evan, but rather that Evan himself deserves to be treated kindly.

Gregory does, too. Evan knows this with all his heart. Gregory is his best friend and has done more for him than anyone else ever has.

Evan... all Evan did was change. Change for the better. And hopefully he helped the most important person in his life with the things he learned. The things that person taught him.

He hugs Gregory's middle a little tighter, not daring to break the silence. Gregory needs time, but doesn't want to be alone. Evan understands. He does. He just hopes to convey what he truly feels through the one action.

Thank you. I'm here for you. I'll always be here. You're my best friend. I'm so glad you trust me. I trust you as well. So much.

Gregory himself wraps his arms tighter around Evan in turn, and Evan feels like the single movement lso has a deeper meaning he cant read.

They dont speak. They just lay in silence until eventually they fall asleep, stuck together like two puzzle pieces.

ao3 link

#this oneshot is mostly just to focus more on gregorys character and how i imagine him (not headcanon #his actual canon character) to handle problems.#ive always seen gregory as instead of letting fear/emotions take over #he pushes past to get a task done/fix whatevers wrong. so i wanted to translate that into the flashlight duo universe with the emotional/pr #especially because of how important emotions are to evans growth and how gregory is the reason for that growth #and i also just wanted to finally write a bit of evan helping gregory since ive written so much vice versa.#i needed something for gregory to be super worried over and well. this universe is already family centric. poor vanessa.#its a normal ass world okay theres not much i can do #vanessa is okay btw.#the next day theyre supposed to get news about surgery and recovery and plan to go on a road trip to oregon to see her while she recovers #(i actually already wrote some of it but cut it out because i didnt like where it was going.#just veered (ha) too far away from the core of the fic)#so you can imagine that happening.#anyways hope you enjoyed! still need a better idea to showcase evan helping gregory but i think this is okay for now.#i have some other plans for this duo (as always) having to do with love languages so im excited about that.#lets see how long itll take me to actually write it lol #pandas writes #my fics #flashlight duo #flashlight duo oneshots #gregory #evan #the fazbears #oneshot #kinda feel like this is cringe #but whatever im cringe and im free two cakes etc #not my favorite work ive done but whatever #its okay

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theflyingfeeling · 5 months

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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖

Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝

The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️

For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3

PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!

Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.

Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).

Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)

The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.

Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.

You awake?

Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.

He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.

“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.

“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”

“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.

Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.

“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”

A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.

“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.

“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.

“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”

Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.

“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”

“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.

“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”

Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.

“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.

“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”

“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.

The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.

“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.

He had to steel himself for his next question.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.

A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.

“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’

“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.

“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”

Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.

“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”

“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”

Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.

“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”

“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”

Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)

“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”

Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.

“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.

“Probably not half as much as I did.”

Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.

If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.

It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.

Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇

Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.

yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤

From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.

#blind channel fanfiction #blind channel rpf #ollixallu #24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling #<- that's the tag i'll be using for these btw #everyone stop and look at the banner!! 🥺💖#it's not QUITE like the original one ju made first but maybe one day you'll get to see that masterpiece as well 😏#but ooff the way i've gone from having 'a plan' to having 'a better plan' to having 'no plan whatsoever' with this? 😂#so yeah idk what kinda fics/posts there'll be in this series... stay tuned and see for yourself! 🤭#some of them might be in the same universe/plot. others may not. who knows? not i 😌#(...but as you can see from this fic the door for a multiple-part story is definitely open 👀)#some of the fics may not even be based on a prompt though if i'm not feeling like it. honestly i'm curious to see how this will turn out!#(and if this ends up being the only post i ever make that's alright too! i refuse to bully myself with a hobby i'm doing for free <3)#however: i'm not taking requests per say BUT feel free to snoop on the prompts for each day and send me your ideas or hopeful wishes 👀#there are certain ones i'm more drawn to but i haven't really set anything in stone #one could say i'm just going with the flow. fuck around and find out if you will ✨#also: not sure if/when i'll be bothered to post any of these on ao3 #probably i'll just see how many fics i manage to actually finish and dump them all at once on ao3 on christmas day lol #anyway! enjoy & let me hear from you <3

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strangesickness · 1 month

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losers playing ttrpgs... losers playing ttrpgs save me...

mike is running a multi-year homebrew ttrpg campaign that is basically just a combination of any rulebook the losers can get their hands on + anything they come up with. i know it to be true. the campaign started as a call of cuthulu campaign but it is now a terrifying mix of call of cuthulu, dungeons & dragons, and cyberpunk with elements from a dozen other games including star wars: the roleplaying game, warhammer, harnmaster and somehow alma mater(??? idk how. but i know this happened). richie was like. "mike man, i love you forever, you're great at this. but why don't i have magic powers?" and he pointed at ben's collection of d&d rulebooks he'd been browsing through and he sounded so earnest and excited that mike knew in that moment he was going to sacrifice the integrity of his cool mystery campaign so richie could cast vicious mockery (99% sure vicious mockery didn't exist yet... don't quote me on that but it doesn't matter because the idea of richie using it constantly is hilarious)

they've all been playing the same characters for years and they keep convincing mike to add more stuff so they're all like super powerful and mike keeps having to come up with more and more powerful enemies.

mike's dice collection is so so so cool he has so many dice, and whenever he introduces a new important character he goes out and gets dice that fit their theme and it is such a moneysink but it's worth it because ooooh pretty dice

after four occasions where the losers decided to adopt a random npc mike hadn't planned anything for, mike has started planning every single npc out down to the specifics of their childhood education. he has endless character sheets hanging out in his room with characters he's created that populate his game world.

okay hanbrough agenda time: bill is the most oblivious guy in the entire world. i know this. (he is the guy who looks at brokeback mountain and goes "what do you mean it was gay? why can't men be friends anymore?" this is based on that one passage at the beginning of the book where he goes on one of those "why can't the curtains just be blue because they're fucking blue" rants lol. he does not know what media literacy is. to me) and mike is. increasingly frustrated and feels like he's losing his mind. he is like head in hands because he asked bill to go to prom with him and bill was like "yeah sure man! sounds great, you're my bestie forever!", and he has no idea what to do, because how is this man this dense, so he just starts having all of his NPCs fall head over heels for bill's character and flirt like madmen. it is painful for everyone involved. except bill. who still has no idea what is going on. that is a very unfortunate month.

mike and ben hang out a lot and ben helps mike brainstorm for the campaign so ben has all this insider knowledge and mike will just look at him before something insane happens in the campaign. they'll like make eye contact and ben will be like holy shit holy shit holy shit :0 and mike just drops some insane new lore. it's very special to me.

#i know it might be like. why isn't ben or bill GM? they're the writers!#but like. idk it just fits. watching mike in it chapter 2 gave me so much unhinged GM energy #that man can spin a TALE. i know it. i also know he can improvise like crazy #they finish a session and he's like. btw guys everything after like the first hour was improvised i hope it didn't feel to awkward #and the losers are like... wdym you didn't perfectly plan all of that?????#bill could not run a campaign to save his life. he does not know what chekhov's gun is. he does not know what nuance is.#he would be trying to run a campaign and the losers would do ANYTHING even slightly off the hyperspecific plan he made #and he'd start trying to railroad everyone and everyones just getting increasingly stressed #basically it would be a bad time #that man can't do improv i know it in my heart #ben on the other hand is a massive ttrpg nerd and has run multiple one shots with the losers #he's not big into long campaigns like mike is but he loves coming up with new campaign ideas #he also collects ttrpg rulebooks and is always looking for weird ones to try out with his friends <3 #they all have so much fun doing character creation with ben too. it's great.#i'm not done with this btw. i have so much more to say #i love ttrpgs and a party is the highest level of friendship. this is true #my high school best friends were literally just my d&d party #and cyberpunk (the ttrpg) is how i made friends in college lol #posts afflicted with a strange sickness #it stephen king #it 2019 #it 2017 #mike hanlon #bill denbrough #ben hanscom #hanbrough #richie tozier

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miguel-owhora · 4 months

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guys guys i need you to describe miguel's uhhhh appearance to me like his features..... if this flops im kms

#:3 #i have plans i cannot talk about #edit #this is a genuine question btw #yes i know he has a great ass #but he has other physical features too!

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bangcakes · 5 months

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#personal #i think that like... the dam's broken. for lack of a better term #or i guess the ice ???? idk man #either way. been messaging back n forth with him like crazy for the past few days #i just decided that like.... whatever. if i feel like saying something i should just say it to him !!!#and i think me being open has led to him being open....#god its so hard when both ppl only really talk when they have something to say JFJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJJD #like... i cant even make up a reason to talk to him. i cant pretend to be dumb n not understand anything. he'll know its bullshit NDJDJDJDN #n e way...... defs met my match here lmao. but really its been so nice just being able to talk to him when i want. bc waiting until being i #person was getting so !!@@@ long !!! like god. i didnt know i could miss someone so bad...... its so !!@@@@@@#gah !!!!!!!!!!!!#n e way. things are goin in the right direction #and hahaha !!!!!!@ i have a game plan to make sure we stay in touch too !!!!! me n one of my other friends promised to keep in touch with #each other and i was like oh should we invite everyone else. and she was like oh !! maybe ____ so i was like !!!!!!!!#so true !!!!!!!!!!@#gosh im so excited i really like them both so much we're all similar temperaments so ya..... ive wanted to make sure i keep them JFJFJFJD #n e way. we still havent asked him but hopefully he says yes !!!! bc he always sits behind us n im just like !!!! ik you wanna sit with us #so just sit beside us istg !!!! but ah ... i think hes shy #god hes so cute #and shes like not competition btw. like..... she has a bf. she knows i like this guy now (i spilled. i couldnt hold it in 💀💀💀). and ya !!#hopefully exciting things coming!!!

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bluberimufim · 2 months

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The Caretos of Podence

Happy Carnaval!! Time for another cultural ramblie because I haven't done this in a while!!

(I just think they're cool)

This was originally gonna be about multiple Carnaval traditions in Portugal, like my Halloween post, because I wanted to talk about a really beautiful festivity in my city but then I realized it was related to an entirely different holiday and I wasn't gonna scrap this idea (I'll do that one in August, I guess??). So I decided to make a post about the Caretos of Podence because I just really vibed with them.

disclaimer! None of this is from lived experience, just online research (although I tried to use sources directly related to it, specifically the Casa do Careto website). I am not from Trás-os-Montes at all and have little contact with this. Just like in my first cultural ramblie, this is just me trying to better connect with my own culture and sharing what I find with anyone who's interested. If you see any errors or want to add anything, feel free!! I'm always happy to learn!

Okay, but before we begin: what exactly is Carnaval?

You might have heard of Brazil's Carnaval. Portugal's is way less hardcore but still culturally important (although some brazillian-style Carnavais are celebrated here).

The actual day of Carnaval is the day before Ash Wednesday, but it usually lasts about a week or 3 days in more urban areas (Carnaval break is a real thing that schools have). The general objective is to have an all-out celebration before Lent starts because, after that, you're not supposed to celebrate until Easter rolls around.

The Caretos

The village of Podence is in the middle of Trás-os-Montes, somewhat between Mirandela and Miranda do Douro. It is mostly known for this celebration, which lasts for about a week.

The name "caretos" means something like "big faces" and comes from their very recognizable masks. They're made of either leather or metal and are meant to completely obscure the identity of the wearer. The costumes are made of rows of coloured wool and are usually made by the community. The red, yellow, and green pattern is not mandatory and it can have many different colours, but it's the most common since it's the colours of the flag. On top of the costume, they wear a lot of bells: smaller ones attached to the straps on their chest and 4 to 8 bigger cowbells tied around their waist.

During the celebration, the caretos dance through the town, accompanied by the jingling of their bells. Traditionally, the caretos were young men who chased after single women, but today anyone can wear the costume and chase after anyone they please. They also go around stealing any easily grabbable chorizos left hanging from smokehouses, and use wooden staffs to propel their jumps higher.

On the last day of Carnaval, the Entrudo (a giant figure of a man) is burnt to draw away the bad things of the old year and let in the next. Like this:

This celebration has pagan roots, although none really know exactly where its origins lie. People seem to point to it being a pre-roman festivity, but we have few sources to go from. The most probable explanation is that it was a fertility ritual connected to the agricultural cycle, since this is generally the time in which farmers can start planting again after the winter.

I hope you enjoyed this little ramble. Because I very much did. Here's some more pictures:

#fun fact: they made a board game about this #a thing i've never seen but DESPERATELY want to see a Careto do is a body wave #i know that costume is gonna look soooo satisfying doing that #and sound satisfying too tbh. like those cylinder thingies at the carwash.#i've never gone to see the Caretos bc i'm broke as hell but i want to someday #i have another cultural ramblie planned for tomorrow btw!! it's gonna be kinda different but still cool #happy carnaval #portugal ramblies #portuguese tradition #caretos de podence #portuguese folklore #idk how common carnaval is or isn't in other countries. sorry if the intro was kinda bad in that regard

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kateis-cakeis · 2 months

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rewatching bbc merlin really has me like buzzing in my mind with so many thoughts. Like I'm kinda watching it backwards atm going from S5 to S4, I think I will jump around 3, 2, and 1 but just,,,, there is so much especially in S5 that makes me !!!!!!!

Honestly, I feel like this fandom has to give the writers more credit. Like they did a damn good job, and to me, it's such a good tragedy. Especially how S5 plays out, it takes everything and just tears you down, and down, and down. It's perfect, perfect with flaws! But still perfect

#bbc merlin #merlin #yeah idk on that note about the writers - this fandom is way too harsh #like i know we all have ideas on how it should have gone #but i think we lose how it's still a story that they planned from the start to end like that #they did their job they set up from the beginning and it is good as a tragedy imo as someone who has studied tragedies #hot take but the characterisations are consistent - i mean like as consistent as they get for a 5 series show #they did better than most and i dont feel like any characters get like their previous characterisation assassinated #that includes Arthur and Morgana btw they clearly have arcs that work well and where Arthur's is a slower progression - Morgana's is like a #lit match - slow at first but when it gets going it's going and then gone - it's wonderful #i mean look at s5 it literally starts by talking about Arthur's bane aka his fatal flaw aka his hamartia #which is himself and i dont think it's as much as the overdone hubris but rather Arthur's love and trust for others - but that like in many #tragedies can be debated #okay something else that can be debated is the peripeteia - i think a good example of it is the Disir episode because that's when Arthur's #fate becomes sealed anything after that point is fruitless because the Triple Goddess has decided he must die because of his rejection of #the Old Religion - it's a reversal of fortune in a sense that Mordred is alive to play his part in Arthur's death - as Merlin puts it. You #could see it more as Merlin's peripeteia rather than Arthur's but still #if we wanna debate it more Arthur's peripeteia would probablyyyy be when Mordred stabs him because that's when his death becomes imminent #it's a reversal of fortune because he's dying from that point forward rather than a strong king he is a man dying #the anagnorisis is another point to make. You could say for Arthur his anagnorisis is all of the finale - like this constant realisation of #Merlin and his magic and realising all that he missed all that he didnt see and now it's too late because he's dying #I'd say Merlin's anagnorisis comes with the whole Mordred and Kara ordeal and how he realises his mistake and how it's gonna cause the #downfall of not just himself but Arthur too #then catharsis - see i think it's the only part where the tragedy falters because do we get catharsis from Arthur's death and Merlin's #immortality - where he's still at the lake centuries later?#i think in some ways yes and in other ways no because I don't think BBC Merlin is following an Aristotle's tragedy #i think catharsis comes more from Morgana's half of the tragedy - seeing her die - and i think further catharsis comes from knowing it's no #over forever that there will be a second chance for redemption for both Merlin and Arthur #but it is a more difficult one for sure #anyway point is that S5 specifically has a tragedy storyline that is very well done and we should credit that more tbh

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imabiscuitinthousandworlds · 10 months

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read the first couple of spiderman noir comics recently and now i'm obsessed with jean dewolfe and peter parker. like those are two guys that are just. trying their best. want to help people. are not actually racist even though it's the 1930s (i mean, sure, there's racist language but again it's the 1930s). jean saving peter's life AND letting him go with the mask on. i'm about to start another fanfic project that is way bigger than i can manage. i'll do it. just you wait

#jean dewolfe #spiderman noir #NOT to be confused with jean dewolff who seems to be female in every other dimension :)#i am obsessed with this man specifically who does not have a single tag on ao3 #and also the potential in that relationship between him and peter/the spider #like COME ON #btw if youre wondering what the plan is. imma have jean befriend both peter and spider (kinda and just on accident)#and then find out (and be a decent human being about it)#yes i have an outline for three 5+1 fics that will probably grow way too large why do you ask #anyway. who cares. doing this until the inspiration gremlin demands different attention #a biscuit's rambles

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fourteenthz · 4 months

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Time to be insufferable on tumblr dot com

#first I'm like going out all weekend I think lol i miss like... people.... so plans are being made but THEN it's hermit time babeyy #SUMMER VACATION LETS GO?? LETS GO ???#i want to practice more with clay and painting this summer btw !!! if anyone cares !! also sewing fot that 1 thing i have mind but that's i #I'm making too many plans for someone that has already too many plans with others this summer... and also hermit ones bc ok listen.#hear me out. what if WHAT IF I played ffxii instead of like every other game I was planning on????#it was supose to be a dragon age trilogy vacation then a the witcher trilogy vacation but ..... feeling ill abt xii still so I'm going for #that first. i think. and finally put to work the plans I had for xiv the past three or so weeks ?? OH GPOSING IS GOING WILD.#and then it's insufferable on tumblr time :) you WILL have to see my mid gifs and gposes you WILL look at my bunny girl.#i have more uni projects to work during vacation but my professor for that work is chill (lazy) so maybe he will ignore me the first month #who knows really but STILL it's ffxii time :)#im going to be soooo annoying abt balfran u guys won't even believe how annoying I can be about partners and ambiguous relationships #if balthier is not as unhinged and totally my type as I remember from when I was like 10 I'll eat my shoe #anyway writting down NONE of my plans but instead imagining the amount of gifs I can make and the gposes and aus and WRITING HMM #new followers who I apologized for being mia the past week: be aware.#thats it.#just beware #kelly says #dl #this txt post is for me only bc I'll never make lists those things stress me out but speaking in the tags on tumblr dot com is fine actuall

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thesilverlady · 8 months

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Hello, I would like to know some headcanons of Rhaenyra and Alicent, the black queen and the green queen, things like their favorite colors and food, their personal relationships and which father they looked like the most.Did they really get along in the past? Does Alicent always hate her? Were they envious of each other? Which was the most intelligent and beautiful?

hello and thank you for your ask! I'm really digging their rivalry and dynamic and lord knows how much I like to think about the short lived days when they were getting along.

Before starting let me disclaimer: these are just my headcanons. Obviously anyone can disagree and have different interpretations. These are just what I have in mind for these two.

canon Rhaenyra & canon Alicent headcanons/dynamic

food wise I don't have much to say much because I barely pay attention to asoiaf meals but with no proof other than my gut instinct, I feel like Rhaenyra has a serious case of a sweet tooth. Girly loves anything that's on the sweet aide. Meanwhile I think Alicent might have been into some spicy food, both to be contradictory and because she grew to enjoy it.

Did they really get along in the past?

We know from f&b that for a short period of time things were okay between the two. Rhaenyra celebrated when her father got married and Alicent kissed her and called her daughter. So safe to say that's a nice start. We have to keep in mind however that Alicent was only 18 and Rhaenyra was 9. Getting along with that age difference would differentiate compared to how it'd be of they were in the same age range.

Did Alicent always hate her?

This might be a hot take but no, I don't think Alicent always hated her. As funny as it is to poke fun at her having a beef with a child (which she did), i think the hate Alicent grew to have wasn't there from the start.

This is the section we get from f&b:

The amity between Her Grace and her stepdaughter had proved short-lived, for both Rhaenyra and Alicent aspired to be the first lady of the realm…and though the queen had given the king not one but two male heirs, Viserys had done nothing to change the order of succession. The Princess of Dragonstone remained his acknowledged heir, with half the lords of Westeros sworn to defend her rights.

^ This paragraph comes after being told of Alicent giving birth to Aegon, Helaena and Aemond and we find out that in 109 AC Otto who was a hand at the time pushed so far for the "issue" of succession that he was stripped of his chain of office.

This happened a year before Aemond was born, so on terms of timeline I think that's when the "getting along" period run out. I can go into more details into what I believed happened but to keep it short; Helaena was a suitable potential bride for Aegon II. if Rhaneyra wasn't in the picture, Aegon would be the heir, with Helaena most likely his future bride and that would be Alicent's happy end. However, Viserys persisted in keeping Rhaenyra as his heir - even after Alicent gave him Helaena. Alicent could have thought that maybe Viserys simply didn't want Rhaenyra for Aegon for x delulu reasons and thought by giving him a daughter it'd get him to finally see her vision that her son should be the heir since he now has a future bride to be match with.

Viserys' insistence was what set her off. And because it's Westeros and blame always goes on women, in Alicent's twisted mind it was the 12-year-old Rhaenyra who was at fault for being favored.

Does that sound logical? no. But Alicent is a very hypocritical character

were they envious of each other?

In the section I quoted we're old that "both Rhaenyra and Alicent aspired to be the first lady of the realm" and while I can definitely see this developing into a rivalry when Rhaenyra is a teenager. I cannot envision 12 yr Rhaneyra trying to top Queen Alicent in public image.

We know that Rhaenyra was already a very beautiful child who grew into an even more beautiful woman. 12 year of age for Westeros probably counts as a "blooming" age where girls grow into womanhood. So the attention Rhaenyra already had takes a different direction and ofc Alicent is jealous because she's only a human and her stepdaughter's existence pisses her off by that point; her husband is set on keeping her as his heir, everyone sings praises for her only for existing and now they also start desiring her.

in Alicent's mind it's illogical (along with other more insulting phrases) so she tried to compete with working on her own image even more. And of course Rhaenyra eventually noticed it and because they were already in a bad place nothing would keep her from fighting back. But I truly believe their early years of the so called "competition" was Alicent's one-sided beef.

Which was the most intelligent and beautiful?

Most beautiful was hands down Rhaenyra. We have so many moments where her beauty was brought up. If there was even the tiniest of chances of Alicent being more attractive the narrators of f&b wouldn't have missed out. They already attempted something when Rhaenyra gained weight due to her pregnancies and Alicent remained slim.

Still doesn't change the fact that all the songs, titles and fighting was done for Rhaenyra.

Now intellectually, that's a bit of a challenge. I adore Rhaenyra but we never had the opportunity to see her in action.

She made some smart choices when Viserys started getting sicker and she opted for her own people to take care of him (it showed her observation and understanding that something was stirring) but when the war was started she was already so emotionally beat up due to her miscarriage and then lucerys death... And it never got better because her children started dying.

She didn't have the opportunity to shine because emotionally she was getting multiple hits and she was a person acting more on emotion than sense.

So, I don't know. On the other hand, Alicent was smart enough to know to take advantages of moments she could twist in her favor (like Viserys death), she knew instilling hatred for Rhaenyra into her children's minds would pay off, and she knew the spot to hit her step daughter when she'd try to harm her public image. So safe to say the woman wasn't dumb.

Of course Rhaenyra gave back as much as she took. So I truly do think with a clear mind she could show to be smarter. When it comes down to it, Rhaneyra is a very emotional person (hence naturally more vulnerable), whereas Alicent is a guarded person, acting on logic and ambition.

#ask reply #canon alicent hightower #canon rhaenyra targaryen #f&b meta #my headcanons #Alicent vs Rhaenyra #^ none of these are about hotd btw #oh also I forgot to include fav color but I think Rhaenyra would have loved the Targaryen colors back & red #and maybe gold because it reminded her both of her beloved Syrax and her dearest uncle Daemon who dressed in gold & silver #as for Alicent we all know she's petty so she'd stick with the green dress she wore at her wedding anniversary #her side was knows as the greens because she basically weaponized the color. I image it became her favourite too #(small note: I haven't forgotten your other ask! I'm planning to answer it soon ♥)

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