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#i have so so so much passion for murdoc and so much muse i could yell ab him for hours
myrainydayloves · 5 years
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For @tusspotships
Laurie’s fingers drummed to an invisible beat as the coffee machine sputtered quietly behind her. She didn’t bother to turn on the lights, blindly tapping along the counter until she reached the cupboard. Opening it released what must have been years of dust into her face but revealed several coffee mugs that yearned to be used again. 
The kitchen’s only light came from the cracks in the centuries old fridge which still needed to be deeply cleaned. They’d done some small awkward grocery shopping earlier, remembering likes and dislikes or what type of cereal was the one they all liked. Tension was still as thick as the years were long in the band’s semi-Hiatus, leaving everyone with a taste in their mouth so sour they barely wanted to eat. 
So the fridge had milk for coffee and the cabinets had sugar. 
“Some band we are,” Laurie mused, plucking the full carton of milk from the selves before slamming the fridge closed. 
Once the euphoria of being back together and the music stopped flowing like the champagne they’d all once popped, reality set it. Funds were basically drained to zero, the equipment was old, and grudges were lingering under the sea of excitement like sharks with too many sharpened teeth. Laurie’s heart clenched at the thought of all the words she’d left unsaid. 
Would this be enough to fix things? Could they finally get back on track? Was she good enough for the band? Was she good enough for him?
That last one was a stupid question. Everyone knew that she wasn’t just good enough for 2D, she was out of his League. Laurie was practically perfection incarnate. 
But her brain reminded her of all his other girlfriends, of her own failings, of her own-
The coffee machine dinged. 
She pulled it off the electric heater so it could start to cool and pulled down the sugar from the cabinet. Despite only buying it a few hours ago, it was as hard was rocks. It didn’t matter, she supposed, picking a mug with a small heart of it. 
As soon as she grabbed it, a big black hairy spider scurried down her arm. 
The mug shattered into a million tiny pieces on the floor, some cutting into the top of her foot. With a scream, Laurie swatted it off somewhere into the inky darkness of the rest of the studio. Her adrenaline instantly melted like the sugar she was planning on putting in the coffee. She leaned against the counter, taking in deep gulps of dry night air and staring at the shards as if exhaustion alone could stitch them back together. 
Waiting until her eyes readjusted to the room, she tip tied towards the broom closet that was doubling as a pantry. Memories of a night that still plagued her dreams and flooded her senses returned to her. 
A night where they’d thrown a party. Maybe it was for an album release or a new song or a hit single? She didn’t remember and it didn’t matter. The important part was that everyone was absolutely smashed. Hammered to oblivion and back. And they had decided to indulge in teen party games. 
After several boring rounds of truth or dare and never have I ever, someone suggested a spin the bottle and seven minutes in Heaven combo. 
Laurie laughed slightly as she swept up the shards. She remembered the next afternoon when they’d all woken up to a destroyed home and when someone brought up the game, they all drew straws to clean the pantry. Murdoc had lost and returned to the group looking significantly more sick and out of it. He declined to rehash what he had seen there but only stated that it was clean now and he would spend the rest of the day vomiting. 
But during the game, during the party, admits the jeering and thumping music and laughing, the mouth of the bottle on her turn had landed on 2D. Within seconds, the pair was shoved into the closet which had not yet been defiled by countless sexual escapades and awkwardly stood in front of each other. 
Six minutes past in slow, unending silence, her heartbeat moving much faster than the should have been able to. As 2D stared at her, maybe expectantly, her gaze was on the racks behind him, reading nutrition facts and labels to keep her brain from thinking about how he was right there, he was so close, they were expected to kiss-
“Hey are you going to make a move or should I?” He asked, suddenly. 
In a blur aided by her own desire and drunkenness, she pressed their lips together in a sloppy kiss. It was so teenager like, her present self cringed into her coffee cup. He kissed back, she remembered that much. He was going to put his hands on her hands before the door opened and they tumbled back into reality, back into the party, and the moment died. 
Then drugs got involved and she couldn’t remember much after that. 
“Hey, are you still awake?”
“Holy shit!” Laurie cried, jumping back and dropping her second mug of the evening(well early morning really) and watching it break onto the floor between them. 2D stood like a spectre in front of her, the bags under his eyes as dark as freshly brewed coffee. 
“Fuck,” they both whispered, looking at the shards that once again littered the floor. Luckily the broom was still rested on the counter and it’s pan still held the contents of the spider mug. 
As Laurie silently cleaned up the coffee mug mess, 2D helped himself to the coffee left in the pot. He didn’t even bother to warm it up, simply drinking it cold and black before deciding it was too bitter even for his sleep deprived state. 2D hacked off a few pebbles of sugar and dropped them in the cup. 
She wasn’t sure why the sound of ceramic being cleaned up and undissolved sugar granting against the bottom of the cup was deafening. But it was better than the awkward silence that permeated the air without it so she digressed. Laurie made herself one more cup of coffee with what was a dwindling number of clean cups and the last drops of milk. 
“I’m happy to have you back,” he whispered horsely. 
“Are you?”
“Yeah.”
Then sugar sounds again. What she wouldn’t give to read his thoughts, to peer into his mind like an dimmly lit fridge as view all of the thoughts he tucked away. Probably a lot of song lyrics or old poetry. Maybe a few regrets. 
“You’re got glass in your soul and you’re bleeding Laurie,” he whispered. 
Indeed, it did feel like she had glass in her soul. It did feel like she was bleeding and slipping up in it. She felt shredded by her love, her passion, for him and she was drowning in so many words that were coated red with lust that they did pierce her. Laurie nodded weakly in agreement. 
“Yeah. You’re right.”
“No, you are literally bleeding all over the fucking kitchen.”
“Oh shit.”
She looked down to see that her foot was bleeding a little and sighed. 
2D set his cup down and patted the countertop. “Hop up on here.” 
When she did, she looked out the window opposite to her. The moon looked back with it’s judging beams of light, illuminating the shiny liquid that came from her body. It was kinda gross and she closed her eyes to stop thinking about it. 
“Did you fall asleep?” 2D asked, apparently back in the kitchen. 
“Just resting my eyes,” she whispered. 
Laurie opened them to see 2D kneeling down and carefully taking her bleeding foot in one hand. Quietly, he plucked the small shards of glass from her foot, setting them on a wet paper towel before cleaning the wounds with a wet wipe. The sting faded as quickly as she realized it was there, leaving only the feeling of his hands on her. 
“I was thinking about the broom closet,” someone said. 
For a second, Laurie was surprised to see that that someone was her and touched her throat in shock, “Sorry. I mean I was thinking about the party. Do you remember that? That night, I mean, you know what? Nevermind, it’s nothing forgot I said anything-“
“I remember kissing you.”
His words were like a conductor lifting his hand as high in the air as it could possibly go. Her orchestra Of a heart beat twice as fast and four times as loud as it had with the spider. She felt her cheek grow hot and prayed it was fever for an infection. 
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I remember kissing you...and liking it.”
“Oh.”
Time stopped as a billion thoughts flooded her system. Unfortunately, her mouth did not stop and it opened itself and said,
“I love you.”
“Oh. I love you too,” he said back as though he was repeating something off a grocery list to her. “But I’ve always been in love with you so I don’t think you need to be this flustered.”
“But the other girls-“
“Mistakes to fill the void of you. I thought...of at least for awhile I thought you hated me. But then that night in the broom closet...you made it clear that you did not hate me and I…”
His next words would have made her drop her third coffee cup if it wasn’t safely on the other end of the counter. They left his lips in slow motion but with perfect clarity. It was music, the greatest song she’d ever heard. To be wanted to be desired to be loved. 
He said, “And everyday we’ve been apart, I thought of you and loved you more.” 
She grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him into a kiss so deep they could had drowned in it. 
And this time, his hands met her hips. 
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hexaeus · 5 years
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for ruben, 9, 12 + 13. for murdoc, 3, 5, and 10. for dempsey, 1, 14 + 15!
crucial muse development questions.
RUBEN ————-
nine. how many friends does your character want ?
ruben honestly isn’t someone who enjoys people’s company, so he’s never really had any friends before and he’s never particularly desired to seek them out. years of being alone, both through force and his own choice, has left him completely socially inept and because of that, he tends to scare people off without trying. there are very few people in this world that ruben has met that he didn’t think were needlessly pretentious, and even fewer that he’s actually ever gotten on with. 
twelve. what are your character’s major flaws ? 
his grief. ruben’s ultimate flaw will always be his inability to move on after laura’s death and his mourning rage was eventually his undoing. he fixated on her to an entirely unhealthy degree that definitely wasn’t helped by his imprisonment by his father, and once he was encouraged to make his grief his life’s work, he died for it. and the saddest thing is, if he was given the chance to die for laura or her memory, he would take it a million times over, no matter how much pain it might put him through. he feels like he owes it to her. 
thirteen. what does your character pretend or try not to care about ? 
as a child, ruben used to be criticised for how heavily he focused on appearances, and this is something about him that has never changed. he tells himself that he doesn’t particularly care about how badly burned the barn fire left him, but in truth, it was something that affects his self esteem to this day. i talk more about it HERE if you’d like to see !
MURDOC ————-
three. what was the worst thing in your character’s life ?
the entire town of stoke - on - trent. i feel like people who don’t live in the uk or a similarly small country won’t ever understand how constricting small towns can be, and how hard it can feel to leave them ———— especially if you’re poor and grew up in the seventies. it took murdoc thirty one years to finally leave properly and that was only with the help of a friend and if it hadn’t been for that help, he might never have left. he had felt so hopeless with his life, with all of his previous attempts to move away failing, and the complete failure of all of his bands, he was just about ready to give up on trying to make something of himself and just accept his fate of dying there. 
five. does your character work so they can support their hobbies or use their hobbies as a way of filling up the time they aren’t working ?
before murdoc made it big, at one point he worked three jobs to keep himself afloat when his various bands barely paid for the rent he was paying his father. he’s always been someone who’s been very, very willing to work for his passion, no matter what. 
ten. what would your character make a scene in public about ?
god, anything. he’s the type to complain until the cows come home about meaningless things like the shop not having the type of air freshener he’d wanted, but would keep his mouth firmly shut if there was a genuine problem. he’s a disaster and he’s really embarrassing in public so please, PLEASE, keep your distance. 
DEMPSEY————-
one. what would completely break your character ?
dempsey has been through more than the average person and very few people can say they’ve been through more severe hardships than him, but he’s always come out fighting. that being said, maxis’ destruction of the earth utterly destroyed him. he had to live with that soul destroying guilt for ten years before he was eventually sent back in time to the pentagon, and by that point nobody but nikolai and takeo would believe him about what had happened. his guilt, richtofen’s betrayal and samantha’s soul later being freed from richtofen’s body left its mark on him and drove him insane and barely capable of functioning. 
fourteen. how does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project ?
dempsey tries to present himself as a hardass marine and generally speaking, unless you know him very well, he comes across exactly that. it’s a facade that doesn’t slip very often, but beneath the bravado you can occasionally see a sweet man who cares about his friends, but is very, very tired. 
fifteen. what is your character afraid of ?
he fears himself. and he fears fate. both ultimis and primis know very little about themselves and they both suffer from it. have you ever forgotten something important, and known you’ve forgotten it, but you never really ever remembered it ? that’s how dempsey feels at all times, only he has nothing. he barely remembers anything before divinium and loses more and more with each passing day ———— he has no idea who he was, what he was like, who his family were, not even his own name. and quite frankly, that terrifies him. he’s a lost man, wandering the earth under someone else’s leadership and following plans he knows he could never hope to understand. he often feels like he’s being watched, or that his actions are not his own, and that leads him into several identity crises that he doesn’t know how to deal with. 
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jasonbrennerold · 3 years
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b.eth gr.eene solo blog, murdoc solo blog, or.... both
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