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#i have the source SOMEWHERE but cant find it f
dreamwinged · 3 months
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soooo hi everyone!!! today , the 24th (nevermind im posting this like HALF A DAY LATE but life got in the way yk... just pretend ok...) marks my one year anniversary with my f/o; 🔮, The Mystery Man u all know (and possibly?) love LOL <3 so i just wanted to talk about it and him a little bit 💗
to be honest it's pretty much impossible for me to say everything i want to say and express just how deeply i feel while still maintaining the level of anonymity that i'm comfortable with on here. but i did my best! <3 this character means quite a lot 2 me and i hope i described that properly even without details dhjfnsdjfnsdf. alright disclaimer over time to yap
warning this is SO LONG ❤️
🔮 is a character that i liked from the moment i saw him which is so corny but true im afraid . a little over a year ago there was a tiktok of him on my for you page out of the blue, and i was genuinely just like 😦 ... WHO IS THIS! .. i guess it's time i get into [insert media name]😁. i instantly felt a connection to him, before i even knew his name!!! it sounds SO SILLY but when i'm feeling particularly indulgent about the whole thing i imagine it was a sign from the universe ;3
although i was attached to 🔮 pretty much immediately, i started to really feel emotionally invested when i learned more about him as a character. the way he was written was so poignant to me, and i could sympathize with a lot of aspects of his personality . . . i Mustn't Speak too much here for the most part, but he became super special to me, and i just wanted to see him happy ya know :'3
from there on out, things were super cool!! i started collecting merch, got really into 🔮's source media and its community (i have him to thank for like. at least a dozen online friends... i was always "the [charactername] mutual" LMFAOO). he became a major part of my life, and was pretty much the only thing i thought about, happy or sad. and when i was feeling down, he was hands down my biggest solace. last year was really not great for me, yet thinking about him was like a reprieve from all the Terrible Shit. i'm still in disbelief at the level of comfort he brings me, it's honestly insane /pos and i never wanna live without it now . < 3
so yk of course a lot more has happened over the course of a year, but in general, i feel like i owe a lot to 🔮!!! i learned what selfshipping was through him, and as a result, have gained so many lovely friends and great experiences in this community. <3 he gives me so many extra reasons to be happy; i cant help but smile when i see things that remind me of him out in the world and stuff like that, nd like i never wouldve had that added joy if not for him yk? and even though he's not real , 🔮's given me something to care for, an escape from everything and somewhere safe to put all the Love I Have To Give. which can be really hard to find!!! i hope in some alternate universe i make him feel even half this happy LMAO ^__^
anyway that was sooo sappy and i edited it like a thousand times to try and make it less so because i am so very very uncomfortable expressing a single Emotion but like It Just Is What It Is. bottom line isss I Love My Wife so much, i've loved him for a year and will probably love him for a lot more years idk i cant tell the future but that's what it's lookin like folks. AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU TOOOOOO/p thank u 2 all my lovely mutuals 4 being my friend and stuff <3333 hugging u heart emoji
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castielsparkle · 1 year
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hi! I love your web weaving posts. how do you usually go about collecting stuff for a specific web weave? I usually just use two sources, but I want to weave together multiple sources and I don't want to just go on like. google image search. and be unable to find out who actually owns what I'm weaving. you know?
hii!!! first off THANK U SO MUCH!!! that means so much to me that people like my work ahh!! ;__; thank uu!! so! i believe ikwym!! i have been thinking very hard about how to respond to this one eheh bc tbh when i webweave i am. struck with a concept. and then i black out for three hours and suddenly i have a new post on tumblr under the webweaving + spn tags :'). (/j but tbh i rlly do not know how to explain my process coherently so hopefully this will suffice aksjnda<3)
some things that i do that might help!!:
so, first off, i follow a lot of like 'aesthetic' blogs and tags! so accs that post poetry with like, credit attributed to them, and i also follow photography accounts that post stuff w credit that i might use! this one can be kind of. particular! given what you typically want to weave webs abt eheh. i follow tags like nature for example bc a lot of people post stuff i might use in there! the best way id recommend scouting for these is like, if you were to look for perhaps dog photos, going through tags about nature, photography, dogs, canine photography, wildlife, etc. the tumblr acc antiqueanimals is one i rlly like for stuff like that! and then if you find one good blog just going through the accs they rb from, accs recommended that are like them, the tags they use, etc!
another thing! if i have a vague concept or even something i just might wanna expand on, i will write down somewhere (notes app, a private discord channel for keeping things in one place, a google doc etc whatever u wanna use!) keywords, lyrics, quotes, certain episodes of tv etc. they can be whatever really as long as they make sense to u!! i also tend to keep folders of various art (lyrics, quotes, poetry, drawings, photos) w their credit when they 'stick out' to me, and if i cant find the credit then usually saving whatever it is and then reverse image searching online can help really well too!! or searching keywords of the image that might stick out!
also for spn editors in particular!:
also this one is rather tedious however. sometimes i will go through like. the transcripts and just ctrl+f search phrases and stuff akjsnda. lots and lots of google searches w specific keywords however i feel like the link above probably eliminates that, i havent used it for a webweave yet but it looked cool! however the other method i use w the link below \/
i hope this was at least a little helpful!! :' D sorry its very scattered askjnda,, a lot of it is honestly just entering tons of keywords on like,, browser image search + tumblr tags/blogs + pinterest and hoping for the best and reverse image searching stuff to find the source lol. my process is very all over the place so hopefully this is a more understandable concise version of it!!<3 thank u again so so much for the ask have fun webweaving!!!<3
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shroomicakes · 2 years
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Tumblr media
//OKAY LOOK. NONNIE, YOURE DOING GREAT, YOURE FINE
//THIS QUESTION + QUESTIONS OF RED VELVETS AGE ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO ANSWER BECAUSE I SLOWLY START GOING INSANE
I HEARD IT WAS CONFIRMED SOMEWHERE THAT RED VELVET WAS SEVEN FOOT SOMETHING.
S E V E N F O O T. WHAT THE FUCK. I CANT FIND ANY SOURCES ON IT BUT THE MERE IDEA OF A SEVEN FOOT TALL COOKIE HAUNTS MY MIND.
ARE THE COOKIES SUPPOSED TO BE TALL??? ARENT THEY COOKIE SIZED? IF THEYRE MEANT TO BE COOKIE SIZED ARE THEY ALL FROL THE SAME MOLD? WOULDNT THEY ALL BE THE SAME HEIGHT JUST DIFFERENT INGREDIENTS?? HOW DO COOKIE CHILDREN WORK ???
IF TALL WHY DOES BLACK RAISIN HAVE A PAPER CLIP IN HER DESIGN? IS IT JUST A GIANT PAPER CLIP? WHAT IS THE TRUTH
//…anyways I’ll give a vague height chart shortly
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antiloreolympus · 3 years
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So what was up with Hades and Persephone f*cking around with a plant while Ares and Haphestus were talking? (Having read the chapter, I see now why you said they were acting like children).
Like, don't you two have a trial or something to prepare for? Persephone dont you have school? Are you zooming to class from the underworld via laptop? If Leto can randomly show up to talk with Persephone, why cant Zeus - King of the Gods - show up in Hades realm?
(At least Haphestus called them out "go flirt somewhere else!")
Also.... Ares seems rather chill about the possibility of Echo and Hera being girlfriends??
Like Hera IS Still Married to Zeus. She is a married woman (granted, it is a bad marriage, but thats not an excuse).
How would Ares / Haphestus (or any of the other kids of Hera + Zeus) react to knowing about Hera's affair with Hades? Would they be happy about it, or as supportive? Or would they condemn Hera for "messing with Hades + Persephone, who are so in love".
I just do not understand - 1). why Ares seems cool with his mom being a cheater (is it only because Zeus is? Cause thats bad reasoning is what that is.) And 2). If thats the case why isnt everyone cool with Zeus cheating? Why is Zeus the only one whos (seemingly) being shamed for being a cheater?
Also, lets say Hera and Echo Are together - at this point, why not just get a divorce from Zeus? Does Hera only stay because she likes being Queen of the Gods + likes the perks of being queen?
Once again, why have Hera (Goddess of fidelity + marriage) have affairs in the first place? Plus I think if we count Echo in with Hades then we've seen more cheating from Heras side than Zeus' (I think. I can only remember Semele, and maybe a few unnamed women that Zeus may have flirted with).
Like is this some kind of weird revenge fetish on RS' part? Like "Zeus is canonically - like many of the other Gods, yes even Hades - a unfaithful husband to his wife, so to even that out I'm gonna have Hera cheat right back because that makes sense."
Like the logic doesnt follow? At least to me. If your dating someone (or are married) and you find out your s/o is cheating on you, why would you "cheat back" by sleeping around with other people? Is that really the best thing you can come up? "They hurt my feelings and I'm bitter so instead of making the rational decision of divorce, I will simply cheat on my cheating s/o in the hopes that it will hurt their feelings and then we'll both be miserable".
I understand that people can be complicated and No one is going to react in the best of ways to that kind of situation of finding out your s/o is cheating, but in this case, especially with Hera - this seema like a very Human reaction / thought process.
They are Gods.
(I can understand Hera being pissed and unfortunately, attacking Zeus' victims, but the mentality of "I'm gonna cheat back" for a goddess of marriage seems...wrong. And disingenuous to the source material....like more so than usual).
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
To add, Zeus is cheating with Thetis as well. So, both Zeus and Hera (if Echo x Hera is a thing) would be cheating with their assistants. RS has openly shared Echo x Hera fanart so it wouldn't be surprising if it was true.
I just don't see how Hera is allowed to cheat and praised for doing so but Zeus is shamed for it. Shouldn't they both be shamed? Like, cheating is still cheating. It isn't justified because one cheated more.
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sirjustice261-blog · 4 years
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Some bedroom matters
Magdalin is the 1 who loves me as bed matters is concerned, when i say its dog she the 1st to turn to it, when missionary me on-top is her to turn me and take my up position and vice versa, if she needs rapid sex, she says this as she taught me, epatiye teke. A loving woman as in the Link below, when tired mwaga sasha boy wa mine or my man.
https://www.mgid.com/ghits/6129239/i/113629/0/pp/2/2?h=LAApRCdBUsN0Z5Zx31LieN1AeL4axrPLRtwXnyDpz7fYPX99puymTtuFEbdijTrb&rid=75774bc6-b2d7-11ea-a528-d094662f8ab5&tt=Direct&cpm=1&gbpp=1&k=787718fcgkL1ZD9jIf6fXLIVQ4ZfXLIbsVsfL%3Bf1*fTfq*ff%3DfI~fO*f2fSkEcwAfTfMfTfaHR0cHM6Ly92aWRlby50cm9udHYuY29tL25ldHdvcmsvYWRzLmh0bWw%2FYnVja2V0PXNtYXJ0JnJlbG9hZD10cnVlJmFkdD00JmJyb3dzZXI9ZmlyZWZveCZjbGllbnRkYXRhPXV0b3JyZW50JTdjMyUyZTUlMmU1JTJlNDU2NzIlN2MyOTAmY29uc2VudD0xJmdlbz1rZ%24ZpZD11ZTElMmRjYTRiN2EyODU%3Dfff*fMzkz*DE5*DMzOHw0fMHww*DB8MA%3D%3DfMHwwf!fdfNTB8MTEz*E5hTnxOYU4%3DfQAfMAfXLIVRJmf!fTW96aWxsY%2481LjAgKFdpbmRvd3MgTlQgNi4xOyBXT1c2NDsgVHJpZGVudC83LjA7IEVJRTEwOyBFTlVTTVNOOyBydjoxM%244wLjk2K%24BUcm9uVHY%3DffMHwyfV2luMzI%3DfMTgwfLTF8LTE%3DfMTAyNHw3Mjg%3DfdW5rbm93bnx1bmtub3du*DA%3DfIfIfMf!f*f*&ce=DIVmctitle
Try ya luck in SA with all the security measure well taken as explained in following tumblr a/c of sirjustice199 as the series in the link below comes handy to direct us and give us sense as Negros though is them alone who can act such, but alas even Africans but they want good life from others as the main figure can be 1 who transfigure to make such moves. Jo-berg collapsing as DSTv built it which has been overtaken by every African nation having their own pay Tv. Though others falling they can go back to squire 1 but with USA or SA people they cant-so woe to them dude, now gays men wanting plots from people across Africa to kill them and more
https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=south+africa+shadow+series+movie&client=opera&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjXtMKwqZLqAhWp6uAKHZ0DAn0QsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=984&bih=658
The intercity roads or towns should be all eliminated as we now got cargo and passenger drones as they destroy the earth where the road passes as digging the trench that holds the road though we have known how to make artificial building materials not as earlier mined creating quarries. At judgement u will be judged by the above, why did u destroy the earth or help in its destruction yet u got cheap drones that vans or buses. Only town roads should be left, like Durban to Capetown be eliminated as Lagos to Abuja or Nakuru to Ksm and more. Some truths dude
One left plan to their agendas like with the dredger explained below is to locate people working in targeted buildings they want to steal from or kidnap to daily carry sewer water or ragged clothes and heap them somewhere as they have known how to make detonators as photos inserted on the sewer water and boom process done to form such to undertake the above vices after 1 who transfigures into such buildings and makes the same. Like state lounges, white house, banks and big businesses like Google, Facebook and many b4 again he transfigures into spirit and get away not caught up like with Kenyan USA embassy bombings and the NY plane crush to delude the puzzle that their was no bomb inside as well as leave ya soul of the shoe which aint rubber but repaired of tire as the same when placed in sewer water makes grenade in the boom process, or dough inside placed written cut boxes as the same they carry in few amounts each day, till they became a heap, they pay u heavily 4 such deals. Toilets should be outside like the china made 1 not in the buildings as it can facilitate the above in case of blackout liaising with power people as well. The Sept attack triggered Kebi to think the way he thinks cause they are saying the reverse to the truth he is trying to bring home as above when he was in class 7. As i know him, he is a truth lover, mafi mixed with water solution can do the same as well gotten from ya piss and mixed with the above or from the toilet inside the building
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgcM1NlPq3g
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ny+terorist+attack+september+11
With siren gas, u take flash rain water, or hay mixed with water and place in an airtight cylinder b4 u do the boom process with masturbating as ejaculating sperms on the sides of the container above or blow fire like doom spray sprayed on fire as well as big machines like oil drills, or bore holes, Rockets, satellites etc. Like in the links below
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUGFhVWPOFs
https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=fire+blower+machine+images&client=opera&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi658q5rpLqAhUJmxQKHUJADlMQsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=984&bih=658
Making a plane fall is like u want to edit something on computer u have just spent time writing and money but u click on the delete option bar not edit to lost altogether. Whose mistake is that, Yours but many blame on nature and so be it though pissed just like power surge can do the same if u lack back-ups so must be prepared synonymous with airplane other outside sources can make it fall.
If u cant pay the free money gotten online when they came 4 u, they either kill ya or ask ya to eat corpse everyday, reason 4 the much casket exhumation explained below or u give them human sacrifice. So which is which dude but when Africa has learnt all kick them all away like a Nike yo and every1 lives a peaceful life bro and the time is ripe and now dude
Most kids who are rude got a price or utility as their head used to make big stereos that got much powerful speakers as in luo “THum kumbo, inachuna in Swahili” as opposed to the cut photo method 1 same to grown ups with hard bones who can do menial labor 4 long, used to make trucks that carries many load 4 along distance or buses as jets or trucks or heavy machinery like tractors and bulldozers and that’s their utility they aint being killed early or taken to prison cause they will the soft not suitable 4 the job above
The dredger that makes holes across the road to avoid the same being destroyed to add much miscellaneous costs can be made in an electric way using just 1 motor with alternator generator and with like the rotated oil hand-drill to hit the header shaft to make it come up and down to be able to hit rocks and break them as it moves forward as siren gas cylinder pushes it down as its rotating shaft 1 must be able to run slow 4 the mouth to last as the mouth is tested on bare rocks 1 after another to find which radius it can get b4 the shaft is replaced to know how much such shaft mention above it needs to get to below the earth surface from above which is 16 Km as in the link below
https://www.banner-welder.com/banner-welding-machine/flex-banner-welding-machine/portable-flex-banner-welding-machine.html
https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=images+of+bare+rocks&client=opera&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjzgIq4spLqAhVKXRoKHf7vDDQQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=984&bih=658
https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=hand+drill+oil+pump+images&client=opera&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi5z6DNspLqAhULKBoKHcAlA1QQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=984&bih=658
In the link below, kinda, the hand rotated part hit the below of the shaft once as the shaft has a spring to take it down to its normal position b4 hitting it again and gain repeatedly that makes the shaft named above to make the move of a sewer machine needle bar that breaks the hard rocks to create holes as oil/bore holes
https://www.harborfreight.com/barrel-pump-45743.html
https://www.thesprucecrafts.com/sewing-machine-operation-basics-2978328
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmQNSbKMiMg
When airplane siren gas is made like with revolver gun rotating hollow windows on plane each sides and even from below and up-above with like sewer water pipe radios then plane fall can be a thing of the past as the transfiguring person can only mess with the 1 on the lower/bottom part which still makes the jet not fall as opposed to the previous 1 big cylinder underneath the passenger seating area which is dark making falling planes/jet easy as we know not whats going down there lest cameras under bright led lights are incorporated as in the link below and place on each seat TV 4 the crew and passenger to view as well as cameras placed outside the plane sides and on the pilot cabinets as we got transfiguring pilots who paint the airplane screen making the cabin dark to enable the above to make plane loose control and thus fall b4 transfiguring again to normal person and hides in another nation given part of money gotten from that fallen airplane
https://www.google.com/search?q=revolva+gun+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwj3qfv_s5LqAhUYLxoKHQNVDyMQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=revolva+gun+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoFCAAQsQM6BAgAEEM6AggAOgQIABAKUO7MBVil_wVgn4QGaAFwAHgAgAGbBIgB7yGSAQowLjcuMTEuNS0xmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWc&sclient=img&ei=Fg_vXvfGNZjeaIOqvZgC&bih=658&biw=984&client=opera
China $100 toilet 4 poor families in the below link bro, grab yours today dude and live nice    
https://www.made-in-china.com/video-channel/chinacontainer_squEVNCxHYHn_HDPE-Plastic-Material-Mobile-Portable-Toilet-Cabin-for-Bathroom-Mobile-Toilets.html?expoName=all_exhibitors&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=exhibition-pc&utm_content=exhibition-pc-cf&fbclid=IwAR3fV-li_7gQ6YJ_g438cr8tU84CsDUvZtjbb278B8w3Gp0aVmkwahlcBRA
With security lights u can buy the solar generator or wind, small 1 like linz and place up the poles to avoid the looted expensive solar batteries, inverter and timer, wasting cash payers money or the volunteer.                        
https://guardx.en.made-in-china.com/product/jBTJZgIlrXrw/China-100-600W-High-Efficiency-Mini-Wind-Alternator-12V-Windmill-Wind-Generator-Wind-Power-Turbine-for-Home.html
Water Guard if u buy, once opened if u use the next time, though still much, it does not work much forcing ya to buy a new bottle from somewhere hoping the reverse but the same, i know not if an old gimmick to get extra-cash from people as they have became open thieves.
Please place the same on big water container and add dough to make water guard tablets to avoid the Former case gimmicks where u hurl cold water into the treated sewer water dough mixture as explained below
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faintblueivy · 5 years
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Alphabet of Shikatema
Ah, well, here’s a new Shikatema piece from me! I’ve been wanting to try this for them a while now. Hope you all like it!!!
...
A – Affection
She knows that she’s never been efficient in showing affection. Yells of 'you idiot', punches of concern, and a tongue lashing of worry was all she could offer at times. But somehow he always sees past that, thanks her and tells her, “I’ll try not to repeat that.”
B – Bachelor
It’s unsettling when his photo and profile appears in a magazine in the list of most eligible bachelors in the five great nations. They talk about how he’s a war hero, a genius strategist and the head of prestigious Nara clan. He is very curious about what a particular Suna kunoichi thinks about this.
C – Cloud
Cloud watching was his favourite past time. But when her eyes flick across the vast expanse of blue above dotted with whiteness, she wonders when it became hers too.
D – Daughter
She’s is the daughter of her parents. But Shikamaru chokes on his tea when his mother gushes over how much she would love to have Temari as her daughter, a day too soon after their first meeting.
E – Exception
Temari doesn’t like to provide comfort or sugar-coat things. Well, she’s not very kind to men in general. Her brothers may be exceptions but it’s not soon enough when two other men join the list as well. One of them, she calls him her husband and other is the tiny crying child on her lap.
F – Fear
She understands the source of her fear when the Hokage tells her about Shikamaru's latest mission in a tight voice. And it haunts her till he���s in front of her. Pinned down. But alive.
G – Game
It’s a little weird to see a miniature version of himself, with sparkling green eyes, right across the tiny shoji board. It’s hard to explain the rules of the game to a child but the warmth that swells up in his chest at the scene makes him wonder if this is what his father had felt back then.
H – Hair
He’s exhausted and sleeping. And to be honest, Temari has always been quite curious about his hair. They way he ties it up makes him look like a pineapple head. She tries to imagine how he would look with his hair down though.
I – Idea
Strategies and plans flow to him when he concentrates enough. But when it comes to her, no matter how hard he tries, he has no idea how to even propose for a date on a nearby Ramen stand.
J – Journey
The journey between Suna and Konoha takes approximately three days. But when they travel together, the time ends up way too soon.
K – Kicked
Her loud gasp makes him drop the large sheaf of papers and files. He jumps over the mess, races to the kitchen. The alarm on his face is real when he finds her bending over with an arm over her womb. But she immediately looks up, her eyes shining with unveiled happiness and places his hand on her swollen belly. It takes a moment before Shikamaru’s louder gasp echoes throughout the house.
“He kicked!”
L – Light
The light of the candle flickers in the shrine dedicated to his father. His vision is hazy with tears as he extends the sleeping infant in his arms to show the photo of the man.
“Look dad, he’s…mine. Your grandkid. Mother named him Shikadai. Are you happy there? Cause I sure am.”
M – Mornings
Mornings with him are lazy. But should she be surprised?
N – Nights
There are nights when they find each other on the porch, trembling with the pain of having lost comrades and loved ones in the horrid war. But it makes them move forward solemnly towards the peace to preserve the future.
O – Older
“You know, I’m older than you are.”
Shikamaru tries to deduce where that came from. Her eyes are focused on somewhere beyond the sun they were supposed to be watching roll down. It takes him a moment before he responds.
“I know that. But you’re already too troublesome. I can’t imagine how troublesome would it be to deal with a younger version of yours.”
It is then her lovely laugh rings out in the meadow.
P – Perfection
He has always known that perfection is just an illusion. But when she wakes up in the morning, hair all dishevelled, eyes droopy and the sleeve of the night dress slipping down her shoulder feeding their infant son, it defines perfection for him.
Q – Quarrel
The first time they had a marital quarrel, he was kicked out of the house. And it was also the first time that she stepped out in midnight to drag him back home. It became a ritual somehow.
R – Rain
For having always lived in a desert enclosed land, Temari hadn’t witnessed torrential rain like this. So Shikamaru is stunned when he comes home to find his wife drenched to the bone, still out in the backyard, rainwater pelting against her skin, eyes closed and a genuine smile that spoke millions on her face.
And he swears that it is the most breath-taking sight in the world.
S – Sun
She talks about her mother sometimes, comparing her to the sun, telling him how the woman brightened up everyone’s lives around her and how the love was so much abundant in her heart. And the way her eyes shine as she talks, Shikamaru loves it all.
T – Trust
He trusted her blindly. Because she was the one to have seen him at his weakest, because she was the one to come to his aid and protect him when he needed someone strong.
U – Unforgettable
She watches him pray at his teachers’s gravestone regularly and often gathers up the courage to accompany him. She doesn’t stop him when he smokes only one particular day of the year and offers him her shoulder to cry upon because she understands there will always be some people and their memories in your life who would be unforgettable.
V – Valuable
Due to their position so up high in the social ladder of their respective villages - a lot of council members, socio-political experts and commoners believe their marriage to be just a treaty. And obviously, it irks them. But on their wedding day, the genuine way Gaara smiles and Kakashi's eyes crinkle beneath his mask and their friends tease them, they understand that the people closest to them have always considered their bond much more valuable than that.
W – Wishful
It’s her wishful thinking that he would wear their wedding ring always, if possible. But she never really expects him to wear it around his neck and show it off to the world.
X – Xylographs
Nara clan has a ritual of engraving the name of the head of the clan and their consort on the sacred wood tablets. Shikamaru feels his heart pound in his ears as the artist xylographs her name beside him.
Y – Yes
Her 'Yes' to his 'Will you marry me?' is an awkward kiss to stop him from embarrassing himself further because he’s such a bumbling mess that he eats half of what he wants to say and she had enough of waiting done.
Z – Zenith
Their love was always at it’s zenith. Shikadai knew it. Throughout the one-sided arguments, weird flirting and soft smiles their love stood undaunted. He places a flower between the two graves that stand beside each other and whispers a 'thank you' into the wind.
...
I wanted it to be a little deep and I hope I succeeded in catching glimpses of their life together. Aaaahhh, do share your thoughts me! Please?
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Text
Break
Title: Break
Summary: Logan, a high school science teacher, gets a text from his high school-counselor husband on his day off. Active shooter. I love you so much, Logan. Human AU. Logicality, Familial LAMP.
Warnings: Active shooter situation observed from the outside, death mention, angst, crying, cursing, violence.
A/N:  Because I’m tired and angry and scared. They say write what scares you? Here you go. I needed to put my thoughts and emotions somewhere, and this is what happened. Don’t feel obligated to read it, please. I know many of you are probably exhausted from this subject matter, and that’s more than okay. But I sat down to write it and I got emotional over the subject matter while writing and it’s almost 3k words so just…. I thought maybe it’d be worth putting up on here? I dunno.
I wrote this all in one sitting... It’s mostly a vent fic, if I’m going to be very honest with you all. Just... sorry, I guess.... 
Tags: @helloisthisusernametaken, @ren-allen, @lizaelsparrow, @princelogical, @random-pianist, @erlenmeyertrash, @milomeepit, @at-least-seven-pretty-potatoes, @rileyfirstname, @pinkeasteregg, @sassy-in-glasses, @vigilantvirgil, @generalfandomfabulousness, @lacrimosathedark, @monikastec, @heir-of-the-founders, @yourworstnightmare999, @artistictaurean, @kanejandkruge, @cdragontogacotar, @candiukas, @damienswifeolicitydallysgirl
Logan is standing in the kitchen when he gets the text.
His phone buzzes on the corner of the table and he sees the ID as Patton’s name. He sets the mug of coffee down on the countertop beside him with a quiet click as he reaches for the phone.
It wasn’t entirely unusual that his husband would text him randomly throughout the day. The contents of such texts varied: sometimes they were reminders about eating and sleeping, sometimes they were quick affirmations, sometimes they were dog pictures or random science jokes that Patton thought Logan would appreciate. And he always did, the corner of his lips curling in a smile when he’d quickly check his phone between classes. Every once in a while, Patton would send him an “I miss you” and Logan would affectionately roll his eyes and reply, “you realize my classroom is right down the hall from your office?”
Logan, however, had taken the day off. He had been at a conference for K-12 STEM educators and had got the red-eye flight back. He hated not being in school, but he couldn’t stress the importance of physical and mental health to his students and not lead by example. Besides, he had never taken a day off before in his life until now.
Logan quickly swipes in the code to open the phone and pulls up messages. He stares at the message even as his stomach drops.
P: Active shooter. I love you so much, Logan.
Logan’s jaw jumps before he types out a reply. Stay calm. RHF. He pauses and swallows hard. I love you too.
He grabs his keys and tears out of the house so fast he almost forgets to put on shoes.
He speeds the entire way. He very nearly runs a red light, slamming hard on the brakes at the last second. His hands are wrapped around the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip. The radio is turned to the news. He can’t bear to listen to it. He can’t bear not to.
Why did he have to have taken today, of all damn days, off?
Logan can’t help the tightness in his stomach. The faint feeling that he might throw up. That same feeling making him slam a hand against the steering wheel. He checks his phone. Nothing.
The light turns green.
Logan’s fingers twitch as he hits the gas again. He thinks of Virgil—his son, in his junior year at the high school. He wonders if he should text him. A second later, Logan shakes his head quickly. Texting him could put him in danger. The alert, if not silenced, could give away his location. Did Virgil make it out? Did Patton?
Why had none of them texted him yet? Logan glances at the clock on the dashboard. He had received Patton’s initial text three minutes ago.
Had it only been three minutes?
Logan drives in a distant haze. He parks on a street in the neighborhood surrounding the school. He’s barely slammed the gear shift into park and yanked his keys out of the ignition before he’s out of the car and running towards the school. He can see police cars lining the streets, areas roped off.
“Mr. Sanders!” The sound of his name grabs his attention. Logan stumbles to a halt, looking around for the source of it.
He sees her a second later. Valerie. Senior. She was in your AP Chemistry class last year, Logan reminds himself. She had always been one of the sweetest, smartest, and hardest working kids he’d ever had the pleasure of working with. She’s sprinting towards him, her cheeks streaked with dark mascara. Her eyes are wide in terror, red from tears. Logan catches her by the arms as she sags with a sob.
“Valerie,” Logan says. “Valerie, look at me.”
She hiccups and blinks hard. Logan can feel her shaking. “Mr. Sanders,” she says, taking in a few breaths. Logan can feel his heart in his throat. “Have you seen my mom? I need—I...”
Logan takes in a breath of his own, closing his eyes for just a moment. Pull it together, he tells himself. These kids need you. He doesn’t know if Virgil has made it out of the school yet. He doesn’t know about Patton. But he cant stand here and do nothing but worry. Not when these kids—these children—need him.
“I haven’t seen her,” Logan answers her. “Did you call her?”
Valerie nods. “Y-yeah. I—yeah.”
Suddenly, a soft feminine voice interrupts them from behind. “Valerie?”
Logan hears Valerie gasp. “Mom?”
The teacher releases a faint breath and lets go of the girl in front of him. “Oh, mi amor, I’m so happy you’re safe,” her mother says through tears, wrapping her daughter up in her arms. She locks eyes with Logan for a brief moment. Thank you, she mouths. Logan can’t manage a smile, even a polite one, but he nods.
Part of the job, he thinks, and realizes with a faintly nauseous feeling in his stomach how messed up it was that it was true.
“Valerie,” Logan says, his voice tight, “did… did you, by any chance, see Virgil? Or my husband?”
Valerie shakes her head, brushing at her eyes again. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Sanders. I just… I just ran. I don’t remember seeing either of them.”
Logan swallows thickly but waves a hand. “Don’t apologize. Please. Your safety should absolutely have been your number one concern. You did the right thing.”
“I’m sure they’re okay, though,” Valerie says as Logan starts to walk away.
Perhaps it is rude of him, but Logan keeps walking. Every part of him wants to believe her with a desperation that scares him. Logan feels his eyes burn and he picks up his pace as he walks closer to the school.
He checks his phone. Nothing.
The police stop him before he gets much closer. Logan wants to yell at them. He doesn’t. They’re just doing their job, he reminds himself.
It’s just… his entire life is inside that building.
He thinks of Patton’s bright smile through the video camera the night before when they’d FaceTimed while Logan was in the airport. He thinks of the warm giggle he’d let out when he’d made an airplane pun and Logan had groaned and bit back a smile. He thinks about how Patton had made him biscuits and bought a new jar of Crofters for when he returned from his red-eye with a small note reminding him to sleep today.
Logan twists his wedding band around his finger and wonders if he’ll ever sleep again.
He thinks about Virgil, too. How much better their house and family was once they’d adopted him. Virgil meant the world to him. He thought about Virgil’s witty, snarky quips. He thought of that faint smile he’d let out once in a while that showed he felt loved and safe and accepted. He thinks about all the times he’d helped Virgil through a panic attack. Virgil was the bravest, most wonderful kid Logan had ever met. Adopting him had been the best decision of his life.
Losing either one of them would be to lose everything.
“Logan?”
The voice startles him out of his thoughts. Logan stops twisting his ring around his finger and tears his gaze away from the swarm of police cars in the distance to look at the man beside him. A colleague, this time.
“Emile.” Dr. Picani. Another school counselor alongside his husband. Logan’s left thumb brushes the smooth metal of his ring again, fighting down the rising hope. “I’m glad to see you’re safe.”
The counselor’s eyes—usually warm and sympathetic—have something else behind them. Something darker. Guilt, maybe, and a bit of anger as well. Logan isn’t sure. Patton’s the better one at identifying emotions. “Wish I could say the same. Unfortunately, I can’t honestly say that I’m glad about much of anything right now.”
Logan shoves his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans. He understood all too well. He swallows. “I hate to ask this, Emile, but you didn’t… my husband…?” Logan hates how he can’t get the words to form.
Something softens in Picani’s expression. “I’m afraid I don’t know,” he says. “I was walking through the hallway when the first gunshot went off. Patton was already in his office. I think he was working with someone.”
Logan presses his lips together in a thin line. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t trust himself to speak. He feels Emile squeeze his shoulder before he steps away.
Logan checks his phone. Nothing.
Logan doesn’t know how long it lasts. He wanders through the streets, running into students and faculty alike. None of them had seen Patton or Virgil. He checks Twitter for news updates.
It won’t be reliable information, he tells himself, and he knows that but at least it’s something. At least it’s something.
He helps a student (Andrew Reinfeild, Logan remembers him from CP2 Chemistry last year) find his brother in the growing crowd, swallowing the lump in his throat at the desperation of their embrace. A student—Brayden Chase, a senior that Logan was convinced hated him for getting an F last year in his Astronomy class—sobbed against his chest until his girlfriend found him. Another student (Harmony Gibbins, Logan reminds himself, an incredibly bright freshman that was on the robotics team) stared numbly at the school until Logan approached her and said her name, told her that she was safe now. She burst into tears.
Logan waits with her until her friend appears and then he quietly dissolves back into the crowd. He keeps looking for son. He keeps looking for his husband. He feels like he’s moving in slow-motion.
He’s never felt so damn helpless in his life.
He listens to the murmurs and rumors in the crowd. One person says they heard four gunshots. Another says seven. A girl sobs that she heard there were casualties. The local news tweets out that there have been no confirmed deaths.
A student still in the building tweets a love note to her dad and her baby sister.
Logan checks his phone. Nothing.
“Suspect is in custody,” the police officer is saying with a bullhorn to the crowd that had been collecting in the streets of the neighborhood, far enough away that they could barely see the school. “I repeat, we have the shooter in custody. We are evacuating the rest of the building right now. Please be patient and calm—“
Logan is stiff and tense. He feels a bitter taste flood his mouth at the words.
“—as we continue to investigate.”
Someone shouts over the crowd as the officer starts to lower the bullhorn. “How many people died?”
The crowd falls silent. Logan watches, his gaze narrowed, as the officer hesitates and glances around the crowd. Finally, he turns the bullhorn back on and says quickly, “We are still evacuating the building.”
Logan pales. He can hear what the officer isn’t saying. People had died. Patton. Virgil.
“Mr. Sanders?”
Logan whirls around at the familiar voice. He stops short at the kid in front of him. “Roman.”
Roman Prince. A junior, and rising theatre star. Also Virgil’s best friend since freshman year. Logan practically considered him to be another son (only spurred further by the fact that he knew Roman’s parents were frequently absent from his life). Professionalism be damned, Logan says to himself. He shouldn’t, and it’s not like him, but his nerves are frayed. So he grabs Roman and pulls him in. The teen doesn’t need much encouragement before he’s hugging Logan back fiercely.
A moment later, Logan can feel his shirt by his shoulder getting damp and he realizes Roman is shaking like a leaf. The science teacher just runs a hand up and down his back slowly a few times. He doesn’t know what to say. In the corner of his eye, he sees a news camera pointed at the interaction and a part of him wants to march over and break it in half.
Roman pulls back and Logan relaxes his grip. The teen sniffles and wipes quickly at his eyes. “Have you heard from Virge?” he asks hopefully, and Logan’s heart somehow sinks even further. He’d been about to ask the same question.
Quietly, Logan shakes his head. “I’m afraid not.” And he is. He is so afraid.
“What about Mister Mr. Sanders?” Roman asks, the rawness in his voice overshadowing the lame attempt at humor. Roman had always referred to Patton as “Mister Mr. Sanders”. Usually, it made Logan smirk.
But all he can think about is Patton’s bright laugh when he’d hear Roman call him that the first time. Virgil’s eye roll and quiet snort of amusement. Wordlessly, Logan shakes his head again.
Roman frowns. “Mr. Sanders, you don’t look so good. Maybe you should sit down.”
“I’m fine,” he says hollowly.
“Pardon the language, but that’s bullshit,” Roman says. “Nothing is fine. Least of all us.”
The teacher doesn’t argue with that.
Logan checks his phone. Nothing.
The minutes—the hours? Logan can’t keep track—tick by. Logan does, eventually, sit down on the grass. He puts his head in his hands. Roman sits beside him and, for perhaps the first time since Logan met him three years ago, is silent.
At some point, the officer announces that they’ve cleared the building. He sends a text to both Patton and Virgil the second he says it. Where are you?
The death count is somewhere in the double-digits. Logan only half-listens. Every time the screen on his phone dims out, he presses the button to light it up again. After a while, Roman quietly takes his phone and makes an adjustment in settings so that it won’t go to sleep. The teen’s own phone sits in front of him. Every time it lights up with a message, Logan glances at the ID to see if it might be Virgil.
It never is.
People around him are sobbing. Others are silent.
Logan can’t feel anything except an overwhelming, aching emptiness. The crowd grows thinner as parents arrive to take their shaken, terrified children home. Every reunion twists a sharp, hot pain in Logan’s chest as he thinks of Virgil.
“C’mon you two,” says a voice behind him. Logan lifts his head out of his hands. It’s Dr. Picani. “Let me drive ya home.”
“You don’t have to do that, Emile,” Logan says, his voice distant. “I can take Roman home.”
“Nonsense,” Emile replies firmly. “I’m not letting you drive in the state you’re in, Logan.”
Logan doesn’t have it in him to argue. He doesn’t have it in him to do anything. Numbly, he nods and stands up, motioning for Roman to do the same.
“Hey,” Dr. Picani says softly to him after a moment. “Don’t give up hope. They evacuated people in all directions. And they might’ve gotten out earlier. They’ll call.”
Logan checks his phone. Nothing.
The ride is silent. Roman mutters an empty thanks when he’s dropped off. Logan snaps out of his haze long enough to make Roman promise that if he needs someone, he’ll reach out. You have my number, Logan reminds him. Roman just nods and slams the door closed.
When they get to Logan’s house, the high school science teacher stares at the drive way. His eyes burn. Part of him feels, not for the first time today, like he might be sick. Because there in the drive way is Patton’s car. Logan blinks hard a few times, and he expects it to disappear. His mind is playing tricks on him.
But the car stays there in the driveway. Logan’s hands are shaking. Dr. Picani gives a soft, relieved smile. “Well look at that.”
Logan is still staring at it.
Emile chuckles. “Logan, you can gape at the car all you want but you should probably go inside. I have a feeling there’s someone there who wants to see you.”
His edges of his vision blur and he blinks again, shaking his head. “Y-yes. Yes, of course.”
He fumbles with the seat belt and practically falls out of the car. He breaks into a run for the front door, trying the handle and cursing under his breath when he finds it locked. Logan pats his pockets for his keys, digging them out of his front left pocket. He drops them in the process and curses again.
When he finally gets the door open, he calls out tentatively. “Patton?”
The first person he sees isn’t Patton. A young, familiar face stands in the entryway to the kitchen in that signature black and purple hoodie. The hood is pulled up over his long bangs but his eyes are wide and familiar beneath them. A second later, a flop of brown hair, thick black glasses, and a bright blue polo appears behind him.
“Dad?” Virgil asks at the same time Patton says, “Logan, honey…” 
Logan breaks.
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axelsandwich · 6 years
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FAQ
I’ve been getting quite a lot of similar questions on curiouscat recently so I figured I might as well put together a FAQ for new fans who have found my twitter.
If you are a new fan of FS, PLEASE go to @soyouwanttowatchfs! 
They provide livestream links for most FS competitions and GREAT intro guides on learning about skating basics, competitions, skaters and elements.
See In The Loop podcast’s website for a handy calendar of events with timezone conversions.
A great guide for resources for watching FS events live - this is for Milan 2018 in particular but most things are applicable generally to all competitions.
Rabbit army: some FS fans have begun hosting rabbit streams of FS related content and will post announcements on their twitter when they do. some key ones to follow:
@doubleflutz
@liliorum
@eternaldolphin
Other skating resources. Just combing through the asks of the above accounts and the ones below (you can usually click through the tags) will ‘flesh out’ your basic understanding of FS. Please note that all of the writers are biased to some degree, which is why it’s good to read multiple sources and draw your own conclusions.
Here’s a quick ‘n dirty rundown guide to FS scoring + intro to the field in memes (pre-Olympics field though)
Explainers of key singles skating FS elements with handy visual aides: http://the-real-xmonster.tumblr.com/post/169802732209/hello-new-fans
Jump guide with HIGHLIGHTED visual elements - http://chibura.tumblr.com/post/155092378025/breaking-down-6-basic-jumps
Glossary of common FS terminology: https://soyouwanttowatchfs.com/post/170312069530/figure-skating-abcs-glossary-of-common-terms
Guides to skaters current in the FS scene
http://soyouwanttowatchfs.tumblr.com/tagged/preview
http://iguana012.tumblr.com/post/166468292271/the-ladies-of-figure-skating-heading-into-the
http://iguana012.tumblr.com/post/166512345061/the-men-of-figure-skating-heading-into-the
Reblogged tag of SYWTWFS has good content from other creators: http://soyouwanttowatchfs.tumblr.com/tagged/reblogged
FS Ask answers a wide range of questions: http://figureskatingask.tumblr.com/
Chibura does some VERY detailed in-depth writeups/breakdowns for when you’re a little more advanced: http://chibura.tumblr.com/tagged/figure-skating-analysis
I couldn’t watch (insert broadcast) live! Where can I rewatch?
Was it broadcast on Japanese TV? Are you within 1wk or so of the broadcast date? 
FujiTV usually saves the broadcast for about a week for you to rewatch. Find the right channel + timeslot the show originally aired (most details should be published somewhere, just dig for it. If it’s Yuzuru, the FujiTV channel number and time will be on the front page of the viewing thread on Planet Hanyu)
Did it feature Yuzuru?  
Check the compilation threads on Planet Hanyu which usually upload links very soon after the broadcast and throw some thanks to Kaeryth for doing so much hard work
It’s not in the compilation thread
Ask and hope for the best in the Media Requests thread
Read through the Twitter timelines of fans who tend to retweet news on your particular skater and they may retweet a tweet containing an upload link
Check Youtube/Dailymotion - uploaders tend to be slower (unless for competition programs). If you can find the Japanese title, sometimes searching in Japanese on Youtube or DailyMotion will give you results (Dailymotion is favoured more by JP uploaders since they don’t take things down as often)
It doesn’t feature Yuzuru
Best to message ‘main’ fans of those other skaters or check forums such as GoldenSkate (low possibility but maybe)
Here’s a list of my personal recs for a couple of non-yuzuru-focused stans
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YUZURU-SPECIFIC FAQs
what’s a yuzuru hanyu?
your historic two time olympic mens figure skating champion champion, also maybe some sort of highly addictive substance idk
where can I get yuzu news and updates?
planet hanyu has a news thread with all the most recent yuzu news
here’s a fanyu and fandom lingo-specific glossary
the calendar also records when shows will be broadcasted
tumblr blogs focused on yuzuru that I personally like to follow are: @tsukihoshi14, @the-real-xmonster, @jumpitwithashuulanditwithapa, @yuzusorbet, @wherespacepooh, @jardinaquatique​, @tadakixd
sportymags on wordpress has a bunch of really nice and helpful yuzuru blog entries
I also just love reading morozombie’s blog entries, he has this dry writing style that tickles my exact funny bone
you can also comb through most of the people I follow on Twitter
who is the old dude who’s always seen with yuzuru at competitions?
most likely kikuchi akira (the old Japanese guy who is Yuzu’s personal trainer): https://sportymags.wordpress.com/2016/07/23/yuzuru-hanyu-team-hanyu/
or ghislain briand, Yuzu’s jump coach at TCC: http://kaerb.tumblr.com/post/172441621579/hey-lae-im-sorry-to-bother-you-but-i-cant-find
are yuzuru and javier real friends?
what happened between yuzuru and denis ten at boston worlds 2016?
what happened to yuzuru at boston worlds 2016? 
he was hiding a lisfranc ligament injury which had gotten steadily worse all season
this also sums up how it felt to be a fan at the time in context
what happened to yuzuru at Cup of China?
These Aoi Honoo II chapters detail the situation in Yuzuru’s own words (be warned, it’s quite graphic in its descriptions): - https://yuzusorbet.tumblr.com/post/150270208657/my-sharing-from-aoi-hono-ii-warning-will-cause - https://yuzusorbet.tumblr.com/post/150343296547/continuation-of-scene-10-of-aoi-hono-ii-a-battle
why do some fans on twitter call yuzuru ‘zazura’ or otherwise butcher his name?
it’s a joke to make fun of the fact western commentators have frequently messed up his name in the past, ranging from ‘yuzura to yasunori’
where does this clip of yuzu come from? / where can I find a clip of yuzuru at [event]
do not ask me - I rarely save links
either post here or ask the person who uploaded the clip
All of yuzuru’s senior competition performances
Links to documentaries, shows and other media yuzu’s participated in
where can I find a copy of yuzuru’s autobiographies?
There are no official translations of his autobiographies Aoi Honoo 1 and 2 or Yume wo Ikiru (his newest ones) but generous fans have translated it (or parts) into English.  You can show proof of purchase for Aoi Honoo 1 and get the Eng translation here: http://yuzuru-hanyu-translations.weebly.com/aoi-honoo.html @tsukihoshi14​ has recently completed a translation of Aoi Honoo 2, you can show proof of purchase and get the translations now: http://tsukihoshi14.tumblr.com/post/171947689783/aoi-hono-ii-english-translations   @yuzusorbet​ has done partial translations of Aoi Honoo 2 here: https://yuzusorbet.tumblr.com/post/156152283157/aoi-hono-blue-flame-and-aoi-hono-2-are
where can I get yuzu merchandise in japan?
my favourite yuzu moments
my top 5 fave yuzu programs
what I think are some of yuzu’s best contributions to figure skating
what music I want yuzu to skate to next season
what costumes I want yuzu to wear next season
what made you love hanyu?
PERSONAL STUFF
what camera/lens do I use?
I shoot with a canon 5D mk 2. for travelling and figure skating photos I shoot with a 24-105mm f/4 and 40mm f/2.8
tips for learning japanese
how long does it take to achieve fluency in japanese?
advice for solo travel
photography tips
tips for starting a blog
how do you travel so often?  
C+P from another CC ask: I pay for it with my own savings. I've been working while studying since high school and also benefit from scholarships. I'm lucky to get some support from my family (they give me money on eg. my birthday/Chinese New Years that I save) and to live with them (since Sydney house prices are so ridiculous that it’s almost impossible to move out). sometimes I travel for work so expenses can be covered there. 
I definitely don't travel this often all the time. I set aside a significant portion of my savings to do so. My biggest motivation for doing this trip I’m currently on (Europe + USA 2018) was 1) being in Europe already which, relative to Australia, means travelling to all these countries is much cheaper than eg. 4 separate trips from Australia it probably would have taken to cover all those, 2) having a large amount of time that I won’t ever have again and 3) being lucky to have eg. Friends/family in some of the cities I’m doing which means free accommodation. They’re very specific circumstances that have made it possible for me
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phoorn · 3 years
Text
SWORD
I'm a writer, a cliche. When I was young writing was easy. Now it's hard. How?
Well, you get scared, don't you? And too ambitious. Your mouth's bigger than your stomach, your arms are puny.
And you're not at school any more. That's the tricky part. There's no Sword of Damocles hanging over your head. You need one, or you sit around wasting your one and only life. It's insane, but that's how it is.
So let me organise one. I, **** ***** do pledge to have written this new story I've come up with before seven days have passed. It's 10 Dec right now, so let's say I get it done by the end of 17 Dec, next Thursday.
I'll say a bit more about my situation. I've been published -- a small publisher, the book sank. I mean, I think people bought it. But I never saw any of the money. I'm not sure to this day if I got scammed.
That was quite some time ago. I was contracted to write a follow-up, but terrible things happened, I went mad, I had no idea what I was doing, I slinked away into the shadows. As I say, I'm not sure to this day if I got scammed. I'm also not sure if scammed my publisher. I've kept my head down since.
It's been quite some time since then. What have I done? Well, not much, right? I did nothing for many years. In the past couple of years I've done some writing, finished one story, nearly finished a bunch of others. I mean, I've always got to the end of the first draft. I've retired from the race every time somewhere about the middle of the second.
Some of these stories are ... not bad. The truth is, though, they're not amazing. They're not what someone of my ego would expect from someone who was published for the first time as early as I was.
I HAVE BEEN HUMBLED. God knows I needed it. You're not as good as you think you are. Someone on Youtube a while ago said something like the tricky thing is we think we're great because we know we have great taste. We read books and go, "I'd do that part better." "I hate how she does this. God, is she stupid?"
It's like watching streamers on Twitch. They are in fact better than their audience, but their audience goes, "Why did he get supply-blocked there?" It's cause he was doing a bunch of things you don't have the eye to notice, and he's 2000 MMR higher than you, shut up.
But I am getting better. I can see improvement in all these stories. Each one is mostly better than the last. Sometimes the ideas are worse, but they're still better-executed.
I just need to do more. I'm not young. It's a bit scary, to have considered yourself a writer all your life but not to have really practiced.
So that's that; there's my pledge. I'm gonna post a diary entry every day, too. Short. I won't go on and on. I like talking, you know. I like writing. But I have no writer friends to talk to. I don't think you need them. Talking does help, though. Some of my best story ideas come from my talking to myself, explaining to imaginary journalists how I made my millions.
I'm putting the source on Gitlab. If you know about Git, you'll know you'll be able to go look at all of the different revisions. You might find it fun. I've thought about streaming on Twitch, too, so you can watch every word, every hesitaiton. But thinking about it today made me nervous, so, no, I won't bother.
This secret blog is about enough for me. It's public, but not really, cause it's unknown. Pretty perfect.
Here follows the first day of notes. They actually written in my diary. I won't post notes like this again. It'll all be in the repo.
I should also say I don't plan to be very comprehensible here. I don't plan to be a blogger, though right now in the throws of enthusiasm it seems to me doing this (pledge, blog) for every story is a very intelligent thing to do. But it's a means to an end. The end, by the way, is riches, fame, an editor. I'd give my right arm for an editor.
FIRST DAY
2020-12-10T06:26:36+00:00
I'm not going back to mogen. No. One day I will. Let's do something new. Yes. 5,000 words for real. I've had plenty of ideas. As usual I'm influenced by things I've been reading.
Something I've always loved is spies. Really I mean "darkfriends". In the Wheel of Time, there's darkfriends -- they follow Shai'tan. Anyone could be one. It was the thing that made WoT really good. A Song of Ice and Fire has the same thing -- people aren't "darkfriends", but they can betray you. There's always danger.
Though in a short story I don't think I can do that. I could write a story about a guy who's found a spy. Or a guy who's a spy himself. Though that would involve coming up with a palace/court. But I wouldn't have to go into detail. Do I have one already? Not really.
There's also the shogun's wife idea. A story about a shogun's wife trying to keep him occupied, save him / the country in some way.
Since it's a short story it could be about her trying to get his mistress back. She's leaving because he's unstable. But the wife needs her back because she keeps him stable.
A story about a spy who needs to get some papers for his country. That'd need a few more thousand words to be worth it.
A dangerous world. That's another idea I've been having. I've written it down. Worlds with danger -- monsters, weather -- in them are the best. Middle Earth is dangerous. Randland (WoT's world) is dangerous (because of darkfriends). The Shadow of the Echo of All That is Lost's (James Islington's trilogy, not its real name) world is dangerous -- it's full of ancient, dangerous powers.
Another idea I've been having is about a magic that's only "items". Only objects of power, no power that a person can themselves wield. But I've always liked that, fuck knows why.
A story about a magic artefact. That sums up 90% of fantasy.
A fun story about a fun girl.
Which of these do I want to write? I'll look briefly through my story ideas first.
OK, something important: I've made a note to write a story about a character that wants something, needs something else and cant have either. This is how Brandon Sanderson writes. I will make sure to do that.
Another pertinent note: it says to think of the "perfect" world, thinking of all the books, games and films I've read/played/watched.
Middle Earth: loneliness, emptiness. Xenoblade Chronicles: a world on a God's body. Final Fantasy VII: Midgar, black pipes. Final Fantasy VI: cold waste, mechs. The Shadow of the Whatever: an ancient place filled with dormant, dangerous things. WoT: the atmosphere of the first and second novels. The world isn't amazing, come to think about it.
CJ Cherryh's Alliance Universe: it's sci-fi, but there's a lovely tenuous feel. Everyone's vulnerable going through space, everyone's weak.
OK, let's think about that. There's a new season of Attack of Titan. That's got an incredible premise. I could do something similar.
Rather than huge monsters, let's have small beautiful people. Who are kind and intelligent. That's scary because you're the bad guy.
You're an ancient monster. You're perverted, you love fear and pain. Or maybe you're a human. And perverted -- actually perverted but also basically normal. But the "monsters" are these beautiful creatures. They're elven. And they have no respect for you. They'll lock you up or kill you if they find you.
You WANT: To be accepted You want to be one of them You've found a magic spell that can make you into one of them To escape To kill them all, start the human rebellion To escape with A magic artifact Something that could kill them all A weapon that could be used to wage war A portal or ship that could take you to the moon Your mother sister girlfriend father The monsters are: Humans that changed themselves Using a spell They gave themselves magic powers They look just like you, so you can't tell who's who at a glance You can tell pretty quickly, though
It seems ... OK. What the opposite of perfect monsters? Imperfect humans. Maybe it's our guy who is perfect. No, I wouldn't know how to write that.
Let's just try out a lot of these wants and needs.
He WANTS: To be accepted. He NEEDS: To live happily, discrimination-free?
So, he wants to be one of them, but needs to just be accepted. That's fine.
How does he go about getting what he wants? How do you become someone else? He could use the same magic spell they did. He could use a different one. They somehow do it the real way, he the fake way. A bit like Gattaca.
Let's make the community small. It's not a world, just a village. An interesting village, and this will have something to do with what changed the rest of them.
Well, first, how about people start disappearing and appearing outside? It's a bit Attack on Titan. And not that original. Really cool, though.
But that wouldn't come into it. That would have already happened. And maybe wouldn't be explained. So, they became the superior humans by this mysterious mechanism. He's trying to fake it.
They all left and seemed to become really happy/intelligent/healthy. But they won't come back into the city.
They keep disappearing. Are they being taken? I think yes. Finally our guy is the only one left in the town. And he leaves, tries to become one of them.
They look different. They're covered in hair. So he shaves all the dogs and cats in the city, covers himself in their hair and leaves.
He finds a small camp of them. They don't accept him.
Or they do, though they know he's not one of them. I mean, they don't care. Or maybe they do. Maybe whenever he gets close they leave. Or maybe they just accept him. Do what you want, they say. They don't run away. But they don't really talk to him.
If they run away, that'd be cool. Nasty. Lonely for him. If not, you'd be able to see what they say. Maybe it's only when he covers himself in fur they let him stay. But they know he's not one of them.
He'd need to figure out what happened to them. In the end he doesn't do it in time and they all leave.
Or maybe he does figure it out and they leave. He just doesn't get something.
So what is it?
A drug A book A religion A small sphere They keep going to the sphere, standing around, then leaving When he finds it, he stands around He doesn't feel anything, but he changes to look like them The next time he sees them, they're walking -- not as a group He follows, tries to talk to them and they don't say anything. A minstrel
That's a nice mystery. It's got a nice feel to it. Btw I just took a small detour -- 2020-12-10T08:17:37+00:00 -- to make rsn's random number not be based on the time.
Randomness in programs. You start by "seeding" a random number generator. The classic way to do this is "srand (time (NULL))". srand takes an integer. time (NULL) returns the current second (since the start of Unix time).
The problem with with this approach is if you run the program more than once in a second you get the same result. Because the seed is the same.
Now I'm reading from /dev/random:
int fd = open ("/dev/random", 0); int seed; if (fd != -1) { ssize_t ret = read (fd, &seed, sizeof seed); if (ret != sizeof seed) { /* warn ("Couldn't read from /dev/random: using time (NULL) instead"); */ seed = time (NULL); } } else seed = time (NULL); srandom (seed); if (fd != -1 && close (fd)) err (1, "Couldn't close /dev/random");
You will see it defaults to time (NULL) if for some reason /dev/random can't be opened.
/dev/random is a psuedo device. Linux "collects" entropy over time and sticks it in a kind of pool. I have no idea how that works. But you can read random numbers from /dev/random.
Back to the story. It's a nice mystery, one of those what's-going-on stories. Do I explain what's going on? Stephen King says that stories that don't show the monster are cheating. But when you do show the monster you lose something.
Let's just come up with a half-explanation. Like a book, drug or sphere. But say nothing else.
Maybe instead of them leaving they go back to the village and don't let him back in. "Get the fuck out! And stay out!" Or they just acts as if nothing's happened.
Maybe it's him that's put them out there. Magic.
How could he be responsible? It'd be hard for it to be him, if they're supposed to be content.
Maybe they're experiencing something more. They're actually logged into the magical multiverse net.
Maybe he spoils it in some way. And they don't get to ascend.
The important thing is what's the thing that's brought them out there.
It's got to be something weird or incredible. Let's favour weird. Let's get some random sentences:
Its a garbed jollified Its a refractable corrugate Its a remindful hiccupping Its a backboneless chum Its a upland erase Its a cacuminal compart Its a accented bishoping Its a emendatory deceive Its a isoperimetrical reground Its a agrostological appear Its a urticant hinnied Its a reunionistic presses Its a homodont barber Its a unscrupulous cellars Its a psychic harp Its a Laodicean prevaricate Its a clipped hurries Its a quartic worst Its a stimulant eulogised Its a tangiest processes Its a numerable dosing Its a cornered totalizes Its a raggle-taggle focussed Its a sacrificial dissuade Its a synoicous enable Its a kingly recapped Its a unconscionable woofs Its a silver depone Its a self-confessed heathenized Its a led flocks Its a microseismical cons Its a hypodermal rehangs Its a fogless trephined Its a urbanized mutating Its a bewitching trauchling Its a boozy untruss Its a unanxious blow-dries Its a elenctic platinise Its a usurpative alleviates Its a unsatisfiable overbids Its a Jugoslav embedded Its a redder booby-trap Its a torn rinsing Its a intelligible fans Its a decorative restrict Its a annalistic bandying Its a oral shikars Its a sejant outlast Its a sapindaceous mussitate Its a evoked antiquates Its a secular impaled
Of those I like:
Its a psychic harp Its a accented bishoping Its a silver depone Its a backboneless chum Its a refractable corrugate Its a secular impaled
A psychic harp. That's straightforward. It'd be just sitting out there, playing itself sometimes. Or is someone playing it? Our guy thinks about going up there, touching the empty space. That's scary.
The accented bishoping -- an accented bishop. Just a bishop, sitting out there on the hills. Not that great.
Its a silver depone. I'm not sure what a depone is. But it doesn't matter. I've settled on the psychic harp.
It's psychic. That means it can hear your thoughts. It can communicate, though, but only in music. Is it communicating, our guy thinks?
It could play folk songs. Our guy would know the words. But he'd know various words and wouldn't get far.
Maybe the crux of the story is the meaning of the tune it's playing. Is it "My Johnny Went off to War" or "The Silver Plate", which is about a woman who kills herself because her Johnny cheats on her?
Or maybe the songs are about the town, or God. Let's just say he listens and changes. He thinks about marching to war. And then everyone leaves.
Probably best to not bother with the words stuff. Won't be able to make it work. It's just a mesmerising tune, and it changes him.
And then people leave. This is fine. Will people think it's just weird / feel unsatisfied? I can't know.
I'm feeling a little self-conscious now because I'm thinking I'll go post this on my blog, announce that I'm going to finish this story in a week, put the repo on Gitlab, stream this on Twitch. I like the idea of it. Probably best not to bother with Twitch.
Alright, let's plan that. Where to post? I can stick it on my Tumblr. Toks has made a website, apparently. I could do the same. I won't, though.
Today Make repo, stick it on Gitlab. Write post for Tumblr, include these notes. Write All characters, names, etc -- temp names -- wants, needs Synopsis Clean kitchen Call Mother Put money on phone Read
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synodicatalyst · 7 years
Note
hey!! you dont have to if you dont want but you qanna share those femslash recs? :p sorry if this is bothersome
omg i love reccing my fave fics i’ve made a list before but i cant find it. anyway. please keep in mind i haven’t gone f/f fic hunting in a while, so if anyone has any more to add just tell me and i can put them on this list (after i read them)
I try to only include more recent ones (as in, not from like 2011) but some are just. Classic
first of all: @roxilalonde aka @tactfulgnostalgic writes my fave femslash ever so this list will be like 50% her fics. in fact, here is a link to her ao3 homestuck profile. but my FAVOURITES to start off with are:
Love Letters In Digital Ink - a true classic. well, depends on how old a fic has to be to become a classic but it’s definitely way up there. Rosemary, the best characterisation ever, hilarious dialogue between all the characters. Rose runs a blog and Kanaya is a fan who moves next door, unbeknownst to Ever A Lesbian Rose Lalonde, who happens to like telling her followers how fucking gay she is for The Cute Girl Who Is Also Her Neighbour.
The Love We Deserve - this is the vrisrezi fic that made me cry. i am not a serial crier, guys. it’s actually half of a two part series called A Study In Heroes, the other part being Terezi’s POV. Essentially a study of Vriska’s character throughout the events of canon Homestuck, and it’s gorgeous.
Lilith And The Morningstar - some sweet, wonderful JANEROXY. Roxy is a daemon and Jane is an angel and as it goes, sometimes you just gotta fall in love with your best friend. Some parts towards the end will make you heavy-hearted, i swear to god Roxi is So Good. Also has some of my favourite Dirk moments, because everyone knows dirk is the best cameo character ever. He’s such a fuckin’ weirdo.
i wont link the rest here but all of roxi’s fics are good and dangerous and good is my favourite thing ever.
FROM OTHER AUTHORS! we have:
And The Handmaid Shall Take The Hindmost - Basically, the outlaw pirate trolls alternia-somehow-still-exists adventure vrisrezi fic you always wanted. Terezi abandons her life as a lawful legislacerator and joins forces with notorious pirate Vriska Serket to help smuggle Karkat….somewhere. Probably the best, most gripping, hilarious and well written fic of its kind out there. Still ongoing, but it’s already quite long. Some fantastic worldbuilding and excellent characterisation for all.
Your Fits And Your Shades Of Blue - a short oneshot about moderately drunk vrisrezi. Honestly, I love them.
HOME SUCK: THE TWILIGHT AU YOU’VE BEEN DREAMING OF - exactly as the title states, jade/rose/kanaya. it’s hilarious and definitely better than the source material and i did a live reading of it once and had Way More Fun Than Was Strictly Warranted.
Catching Colds On A Flying Rock In The Middle Of Space - a meteorstuck sickfic! rosemary and dave//kat split evenly! boy am i gay.
An Earth-Shattering Confession - I’m pretty sure everyone’s already read this, or at least, it’s the top ACTUAL ROSEMARY fic in the rosemary tag as far as i know (the rest of the first page in the tag is pretty much all clogged up, john//dave or dave//kat or dirk//jake centric, and i’m not salty? i’m not? bitter? what are you talking about)
The Average Summoner’s Guide to Demons and Serkets - ever wanted to summon a demon? ever devoted your soul to vrisrezi? yeah, i have exactly what you want right here.
Losing Count (link is to a tumblr page) - a cute jaderose oneshot that encompasses all my ‘First Gay Crush’ feelings about jaderose as a ship. it’s super cute. i love them.
Diverse Concerns - OKAY, I GET IT. THIS ISN’T EXACTLY FEMSLASH, PER SE. but. basically rose and vriska have a drunk heart-to-heart with each other one the meteor and it is Very Good. please be aware that yes, the fic does not go into the issue of rose’s alcoholism (much) and it is treated mildly flippantly for the purposes of the story.
in what distant deeps or skies - i haven’t read much of this one yet but it’s vrisrezi, again. because i love vrisrezi.
And, trying to unfold for you, was brittle - another old one! Rosemary AU where rose is a Vampire Slayer and kanaya is a Vampire. Yeah.
hope this helps you out, anon! i’ll have to get reading again so i can add more!! also see this list by sapphonics of rosemary recs that i haven’t read all of yet :]
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pacman-tattoo · 7 years
Note
Okay so we got the boys as big brothers but I'm curious,,, what about the BMC girls as big sisters???? :0
omg yes yes yes i’ve been thinking about this but i’ve been avoiding doing it since i’ve had requests aka im using this as an excuse to do it
i just put everyone under the cut since i did all of them so
thank u nonny
Christine
best. older sister. ever.
if you’re into musical theatre, it’s a huuuuge bonding experience!!!! i headcanon christine started when she was a kid and always loved it so just
imagine getting into it when ur in middle school/high school????
christine helps you with stage makeup and teaches you how to do it properly and what the right amount of stuff is!!!!
if ur not into acting n stuff, you work crew or lights maybe
or you just come to every show and cheer her on!!!!
internally you’re just like “THATS!!! MY SISTER!!!!”
although the play she did junior year was kinda weird
all her theatre friends know you
like?? you could have never done theatre and everyones like “IS THAT [y/n]???”
christine will jam out to showtunes in her car and she gets INTO IT and its rly fun and sometimes the two of you have duets 
also the two of you will sing like 50 different parts for one song
can i be honest and say christine probably has sO MANY PICS OF U TWO LIKE
CLOSEST SIBLINGS EVER
also sometimes people are like “do u two fight” and ur like “no???? why would we” “ur siblings” “i mean yeah but have u seen her?? does she seem like the person who would fight over dumb things? like the closest thing we’ve gotten to a fight is when i said one of her musicals was ‘okay’ and thats because i didnt even listen to half the soundtrack”
… u two… watch bootlegs together….
“JUST LOOK AT HIM HE’S AN ANGEL” “CHRISTINE U NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM I KNOW HE’S AN ANGEL”
ok not theatre-related stuff
christine!!! is just!!! really positive a lot!!!
but like, you kinda get to see her being unsure sometimes
if anyone talks shit about her yOU ARE R EA D Y TO F I GH T
christine takes meds for ADD and often you’ll remind her in the mornings just in case she forgets (which is rare unless she’s had a late rehearsal the night before! but she still appreciates it!!)
christine knows exactly how to cheer you up! like, you like sitting back and watching movies? she’s got u. you like petting dogs? well, the best she can do is pictures at the moment but she will sent u all!! the dog pics!!!!
i hc that she’s really into romcoms so sometimes she takes u to the movies with her and its fun
ok but like
midnight chats with christine where the two of you just kinda aimlessly ramble together and its a very nonjudgmental time and you two talk through things
also helping christine by running through lines with her. thats all
u and christine have a lot of videos of u two doing stuff like ur own lil skits and ur own “cooking show” together as kids and it’s really cute
i just rly love christine and its rly obvious
Chloe
i mentioned how with jake as ur big bro you get a lot of ppl like “oh, ur jake’s lil sibling” and it’s the exact way with chloe
except you get a lot more fuckboys. its gross. you’ve told off a few of them.
alright i’ve had this headcanon but like
fuck gender roles completely. chloe does ur makeup and you feel like a god damn boss
like, ur eyeliner could cut a man.
brooke is around a lot and shes nice to u (sometimes nicer than chloe is)
honestly chloe is rly confident and she strikes me as the kind of person where like, you could be having a bad day and she’d just compliment u but in a way that ur like “is… is that a compliment or are u mad that im sad”
its both.
can i say that chloe is kinda terrible? to other people? like she can be kinda crass toward you a lot but she has these little moments where she’s actually a decent big sister (like her doing ur makeup???)
but even then you two fight and its not rly a good time but one of u will apologize if its Really Really Bad
i like to imagine chloe’s parents have moments like “take [y/n] with you” and shes just “ughh fine”
her friends dont rly mind since ur mostly quiet
“anyway she’s kind of a slut-” “chloe don’t fucking call other girls sluts”
the two of u argue. some of her friends are recording u two fukn fighting
softly theres just someone going fight fight fight fight
it probably ends up on social media
so people know..
you have a couple people like “YO!!! U FOUGHT WITH CHLOE????”
“yeah i mean she’s my older sister so… i can call her our on her shit i guess?” “WHAT T HE  FUCK SHES UR SISTER????”
“wait she signed up for the play?? wtf who else is in it” “jake dillinger-” “god damn it chloe.”
im not even gonna touch on anything that happened at the halloween party other than just you were glad she got out unscathed in the end. 
but after some rumors fly u dont rly trust her??? as much???
anyway. moving on.
Brooke
actual Good
“why do you hang out with chloe?” “w-what do you mean?” “no offense but……she seems…..kiiinda bitchy……..”
brooke doesn’t talk to u until u apologize
which honestly is understandable bc chloe’s kind of her bestie and u just insulted her so
anyway
very gentle big sister
shes in play??? u will be there like!!! “thats cool i didnt know u were into theatre”
i feel like i talk about the play in every headcanon i do but its such a big part so
wait is she dating this guy
she seems to??? kinda like him??? he sounds nice
whats his name
jerry or something
ur ready to fight him tho like, remember brooke’s ex who cheated on her??? u may or may not have called him out.
and possibly punched him.
and possibly gotten beat up
dont fuck with football players
brooke comes home from jake’s halloween party kinda early and shes rly upset and ur just like “wHO HURT U”
ur gonna fight chloe and jeremy.
maybe.
anyway u kinda sit around with her trying to cheer her up
the next day the two of u go to the mall or pinkberry or somewhere to cheer her up
then chloe calls
“brooke please dont pick it up”
she doesn’t.
and then she does after chloe texts her and ur like “brooke n o o o”
ok so uh
brooke is a sweet big sister even if she’s not there 24/7
imagine being asked on a date by someone cute and ur like ‘fUCK BROOKE H E L P HOW THE FUCK’ and she helps u look cute and calms u down
a sweet bab
i love her
Jenna
im just gonna go ahead and get it out of the way: you know a loooot of shit since jenna knows everything
jenna is protective and no one dares to say shit about u because like
rumors fly? she’ll debunk them AND find the fucking source and tell them off
someone insults u and she hears it? she will F I G H T
someone insults and makes u feel bad and she always finds out because she’s rly good at noticing things??? she will either cheer u up or approach the person herself
or both
i dont care where u guys go but ur family will go on summer road trips and you and jenna take selfies everywhere like
close siblings. the good shit.
honestly jenna is probably the kind of person who watches tv with u and sometimes she ends up not sleeping a lil so she just keeps watching whatever show and then shes like
wait shit i cant spoil this for them
jenna sits next to u and ur like “you already know whats gonna happen dont u” “yeah” “gdi”
jenna strikes me as the kind of person who would be a vlogger imo
being her sibling u get pulled into her vlogs sometimes
theres no warning shes just recording u at 12 am in the kitchen like
“hey [y/n] what are u doing” and u just staring at the oven “baking cookies what does it look like-” and u look up and shes recording and ur like “ayy”
late night snapchat story consists of her and u watching stuff together bc neither of u can sleep
sometimes she just gets a “jenna go to bed”
it never happens
i wish
i had more headcanons for her but i d on t
thats all babes 
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crazykendal · 7 years
Text
This is too long
Why did you close the door the last time you closed one? so no little kids would rampage in Stripes or polka dots? stripes Do you care if people touch you when they’re talking to you? depends on who What is your gender? female Do you think that people think its obvious? i sure hope so haha
How long did your first date last? 0 seconds ;) Is your favorite color within 10 feet of you? yes Highlight of your day? my old friend came over Would you rather be on a boat or a plane? dood no boats those scare the f outta me, but ive never been on a plane Can you tell when girls (or guys) have eyeliner on? yes. Can you cook?
yikes uh.. nope How high is your ceiling? i believe 35 feet im some parts of the house Whats the worst job you can think of? honestly idk Do you swear a lot?  what the fuck are you talking about Does the last person you texted have an O in their name? HA no Is everything working in your house? i dont think so Would you rather have a pool or a trampoline? pool. Does pop give you energy? no..? TV show you love with a passion? the walking dead, and ive been watching the 100, but i love twd  a lot more Do you think you learned anything from the worst night of your life? yeah, im a fucking prick/dick head
Perfect age to get married? who the fuck knows
Is it safe to say you own over 20 pairs of shoes?  i own 3 or maybe 5.. i think Name a career path that women are known for taking. doctors?? idk Favorite type of cookie? chocolate chip, i can never make them because i always come close to burning the house down A quality you look for in choosing a significant other? if anyone can understand me im good What would I find if I looked in your pocket? no pockets What was your first word? yo wassup my homies. (I say that too much, but I have no idea) A musical instrument you wouldnt mind learning how to play? DRUMSSS Last time you went to 7-eleven? months ago A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? I kinda hate most of them equally Does everyone in your family have a job? yeah Going anywhere this weekend? im going to a legally blonde musical Is your room ever clean? yeah but usually never What does it mean when youre being quiet? im mad Last person you had a face to face conversation with? my cat Wheres your phone? dude idk ive been grounded for 2 weeks ahahahah Do you know the difference between your and you’re? yes i aint no dumb bitch How late did you stay up last night? 10 pm Anyone youre ready to kill? oh hell yeah Do you need to get a tan? yes What do you want? money and love Favorite TV show as a kid? dood idk
Whats a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? Strangers Things How many times have you been in love? once Go camping or go to a party? camping Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? maybe when I was 12 How many years older than you would you date someone? I would like to date anyone in my grade, nothing over or less What was the last thing you pinky swore on? I dont swear to anything, ever, unless i care about the person usually more than my self Would you consider yourself a nice person? no. why is this even a question Are there a lot of mirrors in your house?  a lot more than I think there should be Has there ever been a serial killer in your house?  I sure hope not
Do you know anyone who looks like Adam Sandler? no True or false: Glee is annoying. true, ive never watched it but I know its annoying Last thing you cooked? grilled cheese Do you use slang often? maybe Wear glasses? yes hahahaha
About how old was the last person that hit on you? well.. no one has ever hit on me OH wait I cant say (this one girl maybe I don't her well oh god) What color are your headphones? black and red BLUETOOTH BITCHES Would you make a good teacher? Why? I would rather be some sort of leader than teacher Dont you hate those commercials that try too hard? lol some commercials are my life, like the life alert commercials. HELP IVE FALLEN AND I CANT GET UP but yeah some over them are just to much Is the fan on? I have like a ton of fans on right now Any special reason why youre taking this survey? i have nothing better to do What does the last text message you sent say?  i was telling my mom that my little sister was being a pain in the ass and that i wanted pizza hahaha
Your friend needs you to run to the store to get a pregnancy test. Do you? which friend? Friend #1, id ask her who she fucked and be really surprised. Friend #2 I wouldn't even have to ask. Friend #3 I would be shocked and possibly upset. But id get them for all of them hahahaha Do you log out on facebook when you leave the site?  i dont use my Facebook What color are your underwear? white How short are your nails? short Do you like the opposite sex to be dominant or you the one in control? funny you ask that, id rather have the opposite sex dominant and id rather be dominant with same sex.. yep Favorite holiday? Christmas If I asked you to point to Ohio on a map of the US do you think you could? yeah You're locked in a room with spiders. Do you have an issue? spiders don't really bother me, depends on size tho Do you wear your most expensive item of clothing often? uhh Do you eat a lot of food? no THERE'S NO FOOD IN OUR HOUSE
Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? well like a relationship relationship? maybe Have you ever had to give someone directions before? yes i forget everything but I know how to give directions like a mastermind Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? ive never driven before because im too little!! in two years i can tho hahah How many people do you text daily? usually none Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? nothing Is there anyone who you call by their last name? no What did you do on your last birthday? I dont remember I think I had a sleepover tho Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? what Has anyone ever told you that you’re incapable of whispering? no What is your least favorite subject in school?
math and science Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? depends Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other’s face? what the actual fuck When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? a few days ago Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? no
When was the last time you held someone’s hand? does my cat count How many meals have you eaten today, so far? none and it’s 1:05 pm Do you think it’s stupid for people to call others “hot?” no because they might actually be hot hahaha Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? yeahhh? depends Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? wtf is that Do you care about spending money if it’s someone else’s money? yeah What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? dude I dont really like Disney movies so none When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? wtf no Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? i have both in my house Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? my little little sister As a kid, did you ever go to camp? no Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? no Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? no. When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? hmm a few months ago Who was the last person to compliment you? idk that was over a month ago How old were you when you got to go on your first date? never have and I bet I never will :( Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? over protective helpppp Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? what Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? chandler riggs or alycia debnam-carey? Are you the jealous type? yeah When was the last time you felt like you were high on life? when clarke and lexa had sex mwahahaha what Do you know someone who cares about themselves more than their child? yeah haha we have their kid now Do you still watch cartoons on television? no What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there?  i dont like taco bell Is there anyone currently annoying you? yes Do you have freckles? no :’( How many dogs do you have, if any at all? imaginary doggos Have you ever witnessed someone being beaten up? i couldn't say I witnessed someone being beat up I usually beat up things Do you think biting is weird or sexy? well it depends on who Would you rather be called hot or beautiful? hot but im neither hahaha Have you ever had a pet turtle before? yes Do you still sleep with your parents when you’re scared sometimes? no. Have you ever met someone with two different color eyes? nope. Have you ever felt like someone was following you? yeah
What color shirt are you wearing at the moment? white Do you enjoy going school shopping? sometimes Do you think Pug dogs are adorable or just plain ugly? I LOVE PUGS my grandpa has some and I love them so much Have you ever met someone who completely resembled their pet? haha ive never thought of that but maybe What was the worst substance you’ve spilled on yourself before? bleach Have you ever made out with more than one person in one night? no Do you think there is a soulmate out there for everyone? no defiantly not me
Do you like short or long surveys the best? long Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? no Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? depends on who Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? no i live for thunderstorms How often do you shower? every other day Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? maybe How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? sometimes one but usually never Have you ever met someone who was completely weird all-around? yes shes a good friend of mine Do you ever watch any soap operas? i have no idea what that is Have you ever met someone who was mean to everyone? yes. (me) thats not trueee though <3 Do you usually have a low tolerance for pain or high tolerance? I dont care whenever I get injured Would you rather eat or sleep? i dont care Are you one of those die hard Twilight or Harry Potter fans? no just no
Do your parents ever force you to talk to your grandparents? I have one grandpa and a step grandma and I dont really know her that much but I never really see them Do you think long surveys are boring or entertaining? it depends on the questions. Have you ever learned that someone had lied to you all along? i feel like someone has been lying to me but I dont know if its true or not Have you ever wanted to be a lawyer? no. Have you ever had to bail someone out of jail before? no. Is there anyone in your immediate family who was adopted? yeah Do you know anyone who doesn’t have any common sense? yes my same weird friend, oh and me :) When was the last time you bought something? Monday Do you think you look anything like your parents? kinda What are your plans for this weekend? i answered this What color is your significant other’s hair? Chandler Riggs and Alycia Debnam-Carey both have brown hair. Woah ive never thought about this but every single person ive ever crushed on was a brunette Have you ever applied for a job at Walmart before? no. Would you ever become a foster parent? id rather be a foster parent than give birth but I fucking hate kids (maybe that's why I hate myself) Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? yeah my cat Bub he attacks my other cats Would rather talk to someone on a landline or a cell phone? cell Has anyone ever given you a psychiatric assessment? no What is your favorite amusement park?  i dont know Did you ever have braces? I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET THEM OFF THIS MONTH BUT NOOOOOO What is cuter: kisses on the forehead of the cheek? i like both? why am I answering to this Do you believe in evolution or creation? evolution, there was never a god who created anything
Would you rather take a bath or a shower? Why or why not? shower, I dont have time for baths Does it bother you when people touch your personal items? depends. When was the last time you did something sexual? ..depends on what.. Do you collect anything? What? snapbacks Are you better at hand-drawing things or painting? I cant paint to save my life Have either of your parents ever called you a failure before? oh my god all the time! They tell me that more than compliments Have you ever suspected someone of cheating on you? no. When you get married, will you convert your last name? depends on who :) Are your parents divorced, married or separated? married Has someone ever left a relationship with you for someone else? no. What’s the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced? from december 5, 2002 all the way to today When was the last time you went shoe shopping? like 4 weeks ago Are you a part of any clubs at your school, if you still go to school? like in 7th grade CREATIVE WRITING CLUB oh man Do you know someone who wears a wig? no What is your best friend’s last name? nakamura. its my cat haru When was the last time you cried? For what reason? awhile ago because im a fucking baby, just because im going to a different school than a friend of mine who im going to tag mwahaha sucks to be you IM LOOKING BACK AT THIS ITS NOT TRUE IT WAS THE LEXA DEATH SCENE
What is your favorite shop to go to at the mall? forever 21 What time do you usually go to bed on the weekends? like 10 or 11 Have you ever considered suicide? not much? Have you ever been raped before? no. Would you ever consider becoming a marine biologist? no if i ever see those words again im going to fuck someone up. (my dad wants me to be one but im deathly afraid or the ocean) Did you carry a lunchbox as a child? yes. What is your favorite ‘sweet’ to eat? idk Are you someone who usually eats when you’re bored? no Have you ever eaten your way through a breakup? no. Who was the last person you texted? my mom Do you usually buy popcorn when you eat at the movie theater? yeah Did you sleep alone or with someone last night? alone. What kind of dressing do you eat on your salad, if any? none Are you someone who constantly likes to wear hats? no what are talking about im not wearing a hat at all Have you ever seen a Lifetime movie that relates to your life? what What is your Myspace URL? never had one Are you someone who likes to wear dresses more than pants? hahaha if i ever have to wear another dress again im going to kill myself Have you ever dated someone who was way overprotective of you? never fucking dated alright What was the last thing you touched besides your keyboard? my HAT When was the last time you witnessed a fist fight? never..? Do you know anyone who lives in the state of California? bitch I do
Are you waiting for a text right now? no Is it your summer vacation right now? yepp fucking kill me Do you like traveling? love it, more time I can listen to to musicccc What color are the walls of the room you’re in right now? dood i think grey, im looking now and its hard to tell Do you still make mix cds? no. Are you eating or drinking anything right now? no
Do you go to church regularly? no i dont believe in that stuff Who’s your best friend? haru Are you determined? yeahhh...
Are you always looking for/in a relationship, or do you like being single? id love to be in a relationship but i hate so many people and a ton of people hate me and I bet i never will Ever had your heart broken? yeah Even broken someone else’s heart? oh god yes Are you confident? not really When’s the last time you smiled? today. Are you tan? no
Any big plans for today/tonight? I want pizza What’s the background on your computer? oh I recently changed it to lexa and clarke from the 100 Do you have days where you just want to listen to sad songs? yeah Don’t you hate when your plans fall through? sometimes Ever maxed out a credit card? no How old are you? older than time itself Who’s the last person you kissed? my cat Are you hoping they will also be the next person you kiss? no Do you ever actually go on dates? no
Im going to tag @rottentulips because I finally found a really long question tag for her to do so you're welcome ;)
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your-iron-lung · 7 years
Text
Mixed Up 18 | Do You Feel It? |
Chapter Word Count: 3232
Pairings: Zoro/Sanji
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Chapter Warning: Strong Language
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 , 17
Next Chapter: 19
Sanji didn’t know what to think.
Nearly every song that he listened to off of Zoro’s mixtape sounded exactly the same to him.
A few of them stood out as being distinct, but when he loaded the cd onto his laptop and opened it with his media player, none of the tracks were labeled. None of the artists were, either. Every song he tabbed through was by Unknown Artist off of an Unknown album.
Initially impressed by Zoro coming through on his word to supplement him with music, Sanji ended up becoming more annoyed than impressed when he realized Zoro had neglected to embed any specifics in his recommendations.
How was he supposed to ‘pick out something he liked’ if he didn’t know what it was he liked?
Even when Zoro was trying to help, he was, ultimately, rather unhelpful.
Sanji ended up having to jot down a few of the lyrics he could understand from the songs he did like and run them through Google to get the information Zoro had neglected to provide. He was bemused to find that one of them was by the Tralalaws; he was sure that would make Zoro angry somehow.
From there it was unclear to him what it was that kept him on Google, but Sanji spent the rest of his evening waiting for Nami to get in contact with him on the internet. He knew he should have been practicing, but the thought of touching Zoro’s guitar at the moment made him uncomfortable.
He started his night of internet searches with the Tralalaws, hoping to gain some more insight into the band Nami had invited him to see with them.
They had a website, but when he clicked on it, he couldn’t find any information about them that seemed relevant to him. Not that he knew what exactly it was he was looking for, but their website didn’t have whatever it was.
Wikipedia did, though.
‘The Tralalaws are a punk rock band formed by singer/lyricist/guitarist Trafalgar Law along with bassist Bepo, drummer ‘Penguin’, and guitarist Shachi.’
There was a picture of the band together on stage, and Sanji couldn’t help but notice how sickly the singer, Law, seemed to appear. More than anything, though, he appeared pissed off. The man’s eyes were full of a burning hatred that scathed him even though Sanji was merely looking at a picture of him.
He could hardly begin to imagine what he’d be like when they saw him live.
Sanji kept reading.
Career
‘The Tralalaws first album was described as the sound of a “violent, overblown and irreverent” punk band in a positive review in Pitchfork. The band then went on extensive tours of the East and North Blue continents to promote their album with The Mugiwara Menace, who performed as their opening act.’
Mugiwara Menace.
Sanji paused; wasn’t that the name of Zoro’s band?
He clicked the hyperlink and was greeted with a picture of Zoro’s angry face howling into a microphone to confirm that it was.
He’d found what he’d been subconsciously looking for.
‘The Mugiwara Menace were a punk rock band formed by guitarist/front man Monkey D. Luffy, bassist/singer/lyrcist/guitarist Roronoa Zoro, and drummer/backing vocals Nami.’
Were.
Nami had mentioned once somewhere before that they were no longer active as a group, but hadn’t supplied a reason as to why that was.
Sanji suddenly felt like he was sticking his nose into something he shouldn’t be, as though their history together as musicians was something private he ought to leave alone. Then again, it was on Wikipedia. It was public information he had every right to access; after all, none of them had ever told him explicitly not to snoop around.
Under their career section, he noticed that they’d put out a number of albums together before they disbanded, when something about one of them caught his eye.
‘The Mugiwara Menace’s full-length debut, Sink or Swim, despite gaining little attention from major critics, was well met with strong reception from independent critics. Dubbed by fans as the ‘Kuina album’, Sink or Swim gained positive reviews from Absolutepunk.net, citing singer Roronoa Zoro for having a “talent for creating lyrics and melodies that are simple and catchy, yet never forced or unintelligent.”
There was a name Sanji hadn’t seen before: Kuina. He had no idea what it meant for Zoro’s fans to call their debut album the ‘Kuina album’, but the name didn’t have a hyperlink affixed to it.
Contemplating quietly on the matter, he opened up a new browser tab to see what other internet sources might have to say.
Google didn’t help much when he searched for the name ‘Kuina’, but when he searched for Sink or Swim, it provided him with a Youtube link to the full album.
Without hesitation, he clicked it.
As the music began to play in his apartment, he sat back against the comforting cushions of his couch and focused on what he was listening to.
“I took a drive today; I thought about you. I thought about a friend who passed, and how much we just went through.”
The first thing Sanji noticed was how different this music sounded than from what he’d listened to previously on their Soundcloud. That had been uplifting and jaunty; complete with violin and more whimsical, almost tropical sounds. This was harder, heavier, and carried with it a more obvious punk sound. Zoro’s voice was gruff and almost hoarse, but it was his and it fit with the sounds they created.
“And if you’re scared of the future tonight, we’ll just take it each hour one at a time. It’s a pretty good night for a drive, so dry up those eyes, dry up those eyes.”
If Zoro really was the sole lyricist, then Sanji had to admit that he did have a knack for writing compelling lyrics. There was a lot of emotion in them; emotion that Sanji wanted to know the source of. From what little he knew of Zoro, this level of depth and complexity almost seemed to go against his character.
He sat forward again and began to scroll down some of the comments fans had left under the video.
‘This album is so good!
‘I know this is the kuina ALBUM, but whats the kuina SONG again??’
               Bartolomeo: ’59 sound! If u were a TRUE mugiwara fan u would have known that!! Filthy casual
Sanji took note of this comment and paused the video to see if the songs were labeled somehow.
Thankfully, they were, but the song mentioned in the comments didn’t appear to be on this album. He resumed the video regardless, letting the music surround him once again.
”Because the radio will still play loud, the songs that we heard as our guards came down. Like in the summertime when we first met, I’ll never forget, and don’t you forget: these nights are still ours.”
‘the kuina song is good but does any1 have a link to the tashigi song? My fave and I cant find it anymore!’
               Roronoa Zoro: don’t call it that.
Sanji’s eyebrows rose up when he saw that Zoro had actually replied to one of the comments. The comment thread had been made two years ago, but the fact that Zoro apparently even knew how to comment wasn’t what interested him; it was the fact that he’d bothered to comment at all that was interesting.
Expanding the thread, he saw that several people had provided the original commenter with a link. Some of the comments said that the band had taken the song down because of its affiliation with whoever ‘Tashigi’ was, and that Zoro didn’t want that association between them to exist. Fans still seemed to call it that regardless, though.
He clicked on a few of the links he saw, but a lot of them were dead. He’d have to remember to look into that later, however; he already had a lot he wanted to research that he needed to check out first.
“And I’m burning up the night she died; I’m putting every last picture aside. I’m gonna say what I need to say in my very last letter to you.”
Tabbing back into Wikipedia, Sanji continued to let the album play out as he navigated back to the bit about their first album.
‘Roronoa Zoro was given free reign as far as subject matter was concerned when writing Sink or Swim. It was theorized that Monkey D. Luffy gave him full creative control so Zoro would join the band, as he was more interested in working as a solo artist at the time. The album was created as a tribute to the singer’s late childhood friend Kuina, though he continued to write other songs about her later on in their career.’
Well, that was sad. Sanji wasn’t sure what to think about it, but was inwardly glad that it signaled Zoro’s ability to feel deep and long-lasting emotions. Not that that was what he wanted from him, but, it was nice to know.
Just in case.
“But I- I wish you knew her now; she’s a better side of me now, and I’m doing the best I can. It’s what you wanted.”
Sighing, Sanji checked his phone to see if perhaps he had missed any calls or texts from Nami, but saw that there were none. He didn’t want to bother her with his problems, but she had offered to at least listen to them. How much longer would he have to wait for her to get in contact with him?
Then again, she was probably enjoying herself too much to bother with him at the moment, anyway. Which was fine, of course; she had her own life to live without getting too involved in his.
“And the reasons always fade, and the pain gets out some day. So I’m saying my goodbyes to your deep blue eyes ‘cause I don’t know how to say, ‘Stay still in the pain. Stay still in the pain’.”
Switching back to the Youtube host of their album, he closed it without letting the album finished. Sanji no longer felt comfortable listening to something Zoro had created that was so personal to him, regardless of whatever public platform he’d chosen to put his feelings into. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, rubbing his forehead for a moment before he went and looked through some more of the comments fans had left on the video.
‘This was my first exposure to the band. I gotta say it isn’t really my favourite, but I can respect their sound. The vocals are REALLY rough, but the songwriting is good. The sound is not too hardcore, and it reminds me of late 80s/90s punk. I liked that not all the songs sound the same, since that is usually a problem in this genre. There is obvious musical talent in the band, but the vocals turned me off.’
Sanji laughed out loud as he read the review, equal parts relieved that he wasn’t the only one who was struggling with the fact that all punk music seemed to sound the same, and humored that the guy took issue with Zoro’s singing.
When he clicked the thread, a bunch of fans came to Zoro’s defense, arguing against the original commenter and trying to change his opinion. That was alright; it was good to know that he had a loyal fanbase that supported both him and the band he was creating for.
He let his laughter die off when one of his fans suggest that the original commenter take a look at Zoro’s personal Youtube page.
‘its different from the stuff he records with the mugiwaras. A lot of it is acoustic so u might like it better’
“Fuck,” Sanji muttered.
He didn’t want to pry any more than he already had, but the temptation to see what sort of content Zoro would be recording on his own was too great. Against his better judgement, he followed the link and was directed to Zoro’s personal Youtube page.
The profile itself was blank. There was no ‘About’ information filled in, and the last video that had been uploaded had been done roughly three years ago. He had tons of uploads that spanned over the many years he’d been actively uploading, each of them garnering over 40,000 views, which, in and of itself was impressive.
Sanji knew he was digging too deep into Zoro’s history; if he’d found out that Zoro or anyone else was doing the same to him, he would’ve been pissed. As he scrolled through the thumbnail previews, he couldn’t stop himself from clicking on at least one of the older videos.
True to the comment that had directed him here, the video only featured Zoro sitting on the edge of his bed with the camera focused on the acoustic guitar in his hands. His face wasn’t visible from the way he’d set it up, as he’d obviously wanted the primary focus to be more on the music than him.
“Well I wonder which song they’re gonna play when we go; I hope it’s something quiet and minor and peaceful and slow.”
His voice was a lot softer in this recording. It wasn’t gruff or coarse like it was when he sang with the Mugiwaras, and clashed with what Sanji knew about his rough nature. This was, as the opening lyric had suggested, a quiet song. A respectful song.
“And I wonder, were you scared when the metal hit the glass? See, I was playing a show down the road when your spirit left your body.”
A chill coursed through Sanji that made the hair on his arms stand up when he heard this lyric. He quickly checked to see what song it was he’d decided to click on and discovered that he’d landed upon an acoustic recording of The ’59 Sound.
The Kuina song.
“And they told me on the front lawn; I’m sorry I couldn’t go. But I still know the song and the words and her name and the reasons. And I know ‘cause we were kids and we used to hang.”
He was too invested in it now to close out of it. If anything, he felt it would be disrespectful to her memory if he did at this point.
“Did you hear the old gospel choir when they came to carry you over? Did you hear your favourite song one last time?”
Zoro’s prowess with the guitar was highlighted with the way he had the camera fixed. It focused solely upon the guitar, and the way his fingers ran across the fretboard to pick out the chords he needed was impressive to his untrained eye.
Sanji ignored the way Zoro’s voice shook when he reached the chorus.
“Young boys, young girls. Young boys, young girls. Well, you ain’t supposed to die on a Saturday night, ain’t supposed to die on a Saturday night; you ain’t supposed to leave my life.”
The rest of the song progressed along the same lines, repeating the chorus a few times before Zoro eventually slowed down until the song was finished. He stood up in the recording to turn the camera off, and then Sanji was left staring into the reflection the dark screen provided.
Feeling as though he’d done enough digging around into Zoro’s life for the night, Sanji shut his laptop down and then closed it. He set it aside on the coffee table and then stood up to stretch, deciding he really needed a cigarette.
He walked to the window that looked out onto the parking lot to make sure Zoro and Chopper weren’t out there before he went to put on his coat and step outside of his apartment.
It was dark out, but he wandered over to where a street light cast a bright light on the sidewalk before he lit up. He inhaled the smoke deeply, feeling the awful relief it provided him flood his body. In an instant, he was much calmer than he had been.
There was a lot he still didn’t know about Zoro, and of course he wanted to know all he could about the man, but in moderation, and at his own pace, and with Nami’s help.
As he exhaled the smoke he’d been holding in, he glanced at his car. He cast all his guilt and blame upon it, for it was, after all, the leading cause of how he’d become mixed up with Zoro in the first place.
“Goddamned Saturdays,” he muttered, flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette.
A vibration in his pocket stirred him out of his thoughts, but when he pulled his phone out of his pocket, thinking it was Nami finally calling him, he frowned when he saw that it was Zeff instead.
He hesitated in answering, frowning at the shitty picture he had for Zeff’s contact as it appeared on the screen.
What the hell could the old man possibly want from him?
“What, calling to beg me to take my job back already?” Sanji said in lieu of a greeting as he answered the call. “It’s only been a week, shitty old man; don’t tell me the Baratie went down without me.”
He heard Zeff grunt, dismissing his insults easily without addressing them.
“No, you ungrateful little shit. You break your dumbass curse yet?”
“You’re actually calling to check up on me? I’m flattered,” he replied, taking a deep drag off his cigarette. “It’s also none of your goddamned business.”
“I’ll take that as a no,” Zeff said. Sanji bristled. “You get a hobby then?”
He wasn’t sure why, but the question made him hesitate. Technically, yes, he had picked up a new hobby in the week he’d been out of work, but it felt weird to claim it as his own. Sanji really only felt like he was borrowing it off of Zoro, like he wasn’t really putting himself into it, but was instead only doing it because Zoro liked it.
“I guess,” he ended up saying. The faux attitude he usually used when speaking with Zeff dropped from his tone. When he replied, he spoke quieter. “I made some friends.”
“Huh. That’s good. I been telling you to do that for years.”
“Fuck you,” he said, but there was no actual anger in his voice.
“Uh-huh. See you in three weeks, eggplant.”
Sanji pulled the phone away from his ear as Zeff hung up and returned it to his pocket. He absently wondered what Zeff would think of him if he knew the entirety of his situation.
“Probably wouldn’t give a shit,” Sanji said with a sigh. He knew he wouldn’t; it was only himself that was taking issue with it.
He kept on standing there smoking until he reached the filter. Casting it to the sidewalk, he stepped on it to ground out the ember before picking the butt up to throw away.
He wished that phone call had been from Nami, but Sanji knew that if she didn’t end up calling him tonight, then she’d likely do so first thing tomorrow. With another withered sigh he returned to his apartment and got ready to lay down. After all, he had to be well-rested in order to tackle the conversation he was going to have with Nami the next day.
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sciencography · 7 years
Text
liberTV / nitoTV 10.1 update..
I know everyone has been super patient for updates on this, and I REALLY appreciate that. I think that patience deserves a bit of an update all in one place instead of sporadically spread out through my tweets over the last couple of weeks.
Theres a decent amount of info to cover in this post, so it is entirely possible I miss something
nitoTV status / updates
I have completely overhauled the UI/UX of the featured section of nitoTV to resemble Apples featured section in their store.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nJiNzf_4Cs
That being said, its still loading from dummy data that i poached directly out of their cached JSON files. What this means is that right  now I’m not loading anything similar to debian control files for  apps/packages yet.  
Therefore, I’m going to either need to 
modify control files or 
layer extra attributes on top of them.
I am not sure how I’m going to approach that conundrum yet.
Backend bedlam
@jaywalker is bringing my backend from nitoTV1-4 into the current century, yes parts of my setuid helper tool have been around since the FIRST AppleTV. The bulk of it was taken from nitoTV for the 2G AppleTV, but either way its not the greatest  code. For the 4G 9.x pangu jailbreak it was an amalgam of the old nitoHelper code and my own (horrid) ‘version’ of dpkg. It was “good enough” for the limited amount of people that use the 9.x jailbreak, now that this one will hit a much larger audience we need to do things right.
Respring madness
I haven’t just been in a holding pattern waiting for @jaywalker, i still needed to find a better way to get applications to load from /Applications in tvOS 9 and 10 alike. 
Previously the hateful methodology employed to get applications to load in there we removing *.csstore from mobile caches and killall -u mobile.
This lead to a variety of random issues (some known, some unknown) and was a terrible way to solve this problem, kludgy mckludgerstein as it were.
On top of that, this “solution” didn’t work on tvOS 10, even when deleting the *.cstore file from its new random location. This meant I needed to find a solution to that problem as well, because how else are we going to run nitoTV from /Applications (a necessity) If we cant get it to display?
This problem has been kind of solved with a cleaner solution that killall -u mobile, but its still a bit too overwraught and requires hooking into things that definitely aren’t requirements to get the process working, they will work, but aren’t ideal. 
From there, this solution didnt work in tvOS 9 (and i can’t leave those users hanging!!!) So I need to take extra time to sort that out. Thankfully i got a cleaner solution working than killall -u mobile, its slightly faster and doesn’t appear to have any terrible side effects yet.
tss checker / futurerestore on tvOS for 9.x->10.x
I apologize for the radio silence on this one, its been on my todo list and I just haven’t gotten there yet, that being said, according to @tihmstar the same process that one would use on the iPad WIFI (neither that nor AppleTV 4 have a baseband). So if anyone wants to be courageous and take one thing off my todo list for me, that’d be great!
Finding an ATV 4G on 10.1
Thanks to an awesome follower @skibowlruler i have procured information on at least one AppleTV that came stock with 10.1 and what kind of information http://www.chipmunk.nl/klantenservice/applemodel.html/ returned so hopefully someone else will be able to use this information to procure that device for themselves as well!
Model Number: MGY52
Group 1: AppleTV
Generation: 4
Production week: -2- (January)
Production year -2017-
Model introduced: -2015-
Factory: DY (China, Shenzhen - Foxconn)
I hope this helps! please comment on twitter to let me know if it does!
NOTE: Another twitter user @Sowers13C has pointed out another thread to get potentially better information on procuring an ATV 4G NIB with 10.1 on it: 
https://www.reddit.com/r/jailbreak/comments/5xjbim/question_apple_tv4_jailbreak/
https://twitter.com/Sowers13C/status/844197561183485952
Known issues with liberTV
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but its stuff i’ve seen reported and I can verify firsthand
Random reboots during video playback
Can take several tries to work successfully
SSH stops working
Ill address them one by one:
Random reboots during video playback
Jon commented on this on his forum 
“KPP (kernel patch protection) kicks in when the processor is doing floating-point related operations. It could be that the KPP implementation still has a bug - which wouldn't surprise me given how many cases I had with the initial installation of it (and why LiberTV succeeds on average 1/4). I am constantly working to improve these odds - and Luca's code isn't the easiest to work with.. Patience would be appreciated.”
source; http://newosxbook.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=16823&sid=221a1e76489cd22eb3faa9d24a77aeb9&start=20#p18328
I dont have a solution for this, however, I can say it doesn’t seem to happen with plex or infuse. it does happen with kodi and tuyu and possibly netflix. Thats all i know offhand
Can take several tries to work successfully
Just the nature of the beast, its a hard vuln to get predictably under control afaik. Just keep trying!
SSH stops working
When jon was initially testing liberTV he was extracting his iosbintools pack directly to root, in doing so he definitely overwrote nvram bin and MAYBE the bash binary that are on the stock device, if you reboot with unsigned versions of those, boot loop of bad times! (semi-tethered!)
To mitigate this, every time liberTV runs it extracts the tools (including ssh configs) into /tmp. This gets wiped on a regular basis. Could be every few days, could be every day. This will wipe the config files that tell dropbear where you are supposed to be directed to and whatnot when logging in, if it doesnt know that, u just get booted off immediately. I imagine future versions will address this issue.
Whats working so far
MobileSubstrate
cycript
rocketbootstrap
respring to load /Apps in 9.x/10
AppSync
Thats all she wrote for now, I will probably periodically update / modify this file. Feel free to edit / reprint it for your blogs, just please attribute this link as a source somewhere.
Thanks!
1 note · View note
wgfjmj758-blog · 5 years
Text
term life insurance quote estimate
term life insurance quote estimate
term life insurance quote estimate
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :COVERAGEFINDER.NET
SOURCES:
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dailrpwmf-blog · 5 years
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Is there some kind of insurance I can buy for my pit bull while renting a home/apt?
Is there some kind of insurance I can buy for my pit bull while renting a home/apt?
I m not looking for housing, but I know how difficult it is to get while owning a dog over 25 lbs and a pit bull mix to boot! Is there a type of insurance that I can get that will over-ride or cover whatever it is in the commerical insurance that makes people reject me for my dog breed? I have read somewhere there might be, but I don t know what it is and what was the experience with using it? I m wondering if it s something I should get now and have a history of having or just get when I need it.
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