#i have too many stories destroy me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

biolums · 1 year

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hiii hope ur well do u have. bl recs..i trust ur taste immensely 🫶🏾

HIIIIIII SORRY THIS IS SO LATE I WANTED TO HAVE TIME TO DO THIS AND NOT RUSH IT!!!!!

so first of all. i DO watch a lot of shitty bl its a past time i greatly enjoy BUT this will be a list of shows i recommend because theyre GOOD fjdjsjkfksjdkf also idk how much bl youve watched if any!! so if youve seen all of these i can and WILL rec more im just putting the ones i would recommend MOST rn

adding a keep reading. this is a bit long i apologize jfsiodjf

1. Bad Buddy (available on youtube)

WAGHHH this show changed me as a person… rivals to friends to lovers, romeo and juliet, secretly dating… its just sooooo good. its about pat and pran, who have lived next to each other their entire lives BUT their parents Hate each other. occurs mostly in college where they live across from each other now (sighs.. fated lovers…) AND their friend groups hate each other too. rivals 2x… however theyre forced to work together because the university is threatening punishment if the two groups dont stop fighting.

this show seriously is just SOOO good and i relate to pran on a personal level. both like… autistically and loving pat-ingly (ohm pawat.. whew hes Such a man)

2. Where Your Eyes Linger (available on viki? or dramacool if you want to pirate it lol)

OK a lot of people rate this kind of mid in kbls BUTTT its forever my favorite idc. its about a chaebol and his bodyguard who was essentially adopted by the family for the Sole purpose of being his bodyguard. set in high school and features just the most wonderful yearning and also for some reason they only have one bed in the apartment they share. goes into power structures and stuff a bit which i thought was cool :) basically the bodyguard has been in love with the chaebol his whole life but never acted on it because 1. thats not his place and 2. taejoo is Straight. he yearns quietly until Uh Oh… someone starts taking kang gook (the bodyguard)’s attention away from taejoo and he gets jealous.

3. I Told Sunset About You (available on viki. i watched it on dramacool)

AUOGGH.. this show will tear you into pieces. its just such a BEAUTIFUL and cinematic experience i love it so much… notable things to mention: features cheating and an obscene amount of crying. i love this show but i cannot do crying scenes. it was a struggle fjsjdjfjdjdjf anyways this show is about two childhood friends who are now rivals. theyre trying to get into college and taking classes outside of school to prepare, where they meet each other for the first time in quite a few years. teh is insanely jealous of oh aew for being popular amongst other things and it causes a lot of. tension. teh has a girl hes been flirting with for years and oh aew has a guy he likes but they both feel an INTENSE pull to each other. one that isnt easy on their relationships or theirselves.

OH!!! also this show features a ton of thai-chinese culture and is set in phuket as opposed to almost every other thai show being set in bangkok.

also i dont recommend the sequel. i havent watched it but it has some. problematic tropes that leave a bad taste in my mouth. also just destroys the characters! idk thats just my opinion though im sure SOMEONE likes that show..

4. Until We Meet Again (available on youtube)

ok. first of all. this show is about the red string of fate and reincarnated lovers. im warning you now that it literally starts with a double suicide scene and its. its a lot. HOWEVER. i do really like this show!! its sweet and does justice to both its trope and the couple who commit suicide. basically pharm, a stick of a guy who experiences panic attacks and nightmares that he cant explain, enters college and meets dean, the captain of the swim team. they both definitely know something is up and have feelings for each other but they have to navigate flashbacks and discovering what happened to their past selves (in and korn). ALSO has a side couple whos show is currently airing!!!! im not putting between us on here since its still airing but i do recommend it :)

ugh second warning. this show ALSO has soooo much crying……….

5. Gaya Sa Pelikula (available on youtube)

when i say this show changed me as a person.... god i genuinely have sooooooooooooo many emotions about this show. it follows karl, an architecture student. he moves into his apartment and.. some guy runs in and puts a hand over his mouth and tells him to be quiet. No he is not getting robbed but he doesn't know that. QUEUE fake dating and cohabitation to appease vlad (the guy who ran in)'s sister. genuinely has some of the best most incredible characters ever made and features incredible depictions of internalized homophobia and struggling to live your own life rather than the one someone else made for you. god just thinking about this show is makingme emotional i miss karl and vlad :(

i think this show was supposed to have a season two but something happened with the cast/production crew (im pretty sure it was SA but im not sure) and so theres no sequel. it has a cliffhanger/bittersweet ending but genuinely i think that shouldnt impact whether or not someone watches because its sad YES but its just actually such a good ending and i would have hated if they ended it another way. one of the realest and most human shows ive watched. the BEST depiction of the gay experience ive ever seen. genuinely please watch this show just for that it made me cry and laugh and sob and giggle with how nuanced and thoughtful it is about gayness

6. cherry magic (ITS AVAILABLE ON CRUNCHYROLL??? i watched it on dramacool. lmao)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH the movie sequel just came out and i haven't seen it yet but im soooo excited for it. cherry magic is one of the most endearing shows but it doesn't sacrifice character development or plot for cuteness. the premise is that when you turn 30, and youre still a virgin, you turn into a mind reader. which is a big premise to sell i KNOW. but they NAIL IT. adachi (the mindreader) is introverted, insecure, and uncomfortable in his skin, but his new powers force him to come to terms with himself and exist as a person. he avoids touch as much as possible as everyones thoughts can be A Lot BUT he brushes against the office hottie/mvp and finds out that he (kurosawa) has a crush on HIM. adachi doesnt understand but tries to figure out why this incredible guy could love a shy and awkward person like him. features an aroace side character and a side couple i ignored (save for the cat. udon lovers unite) its just such a sweet but powerful show and i love the characters so much :((((

7. hes coming to me (available on youtube)

OHM PAWATS BACK IM SORRY HES JUST MY FAV AND ALSO THE BEST ACTOR EVER. anyways this show has SUCH a soft place in my heart i truly think its such a special show. its about a ghost who is never visited at his grave and therefore cant pass on and a guy who can see ghosts. Thun has seen ghosts for most of his life but he hasn't really talked to any. Mes has been dead for awhile and longs to have someone SEE him and TALK to him. when thun is a kid, he sees mes and leaves him some offerings. but he doesn't return for a very long time. thuns now a college kid and when he returns to the graveyard, he finally talks to mes and they click. from there, they work together to figure out how mes died to try and help his spirit move on, but develop feelings along the way. has the most HEARTBREAKING coming out scene ever. ohm pawat seriously deserves so many awards. ALSO has a lot of thai-chinese culture!!

i have mixed feelings about the ending. its complicated i like it and i dont like it.. if you watch it youll see what i mean sdfhsoidfjsido

OIADJOASI:JDOIS IM STOPPING HERE THIS IS SO LONGIM SORRY LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE I JUST DONT WANT TO MAKE THIS NOVEL LENGTH IOJF:SDIJSDOI:JIOD

OMG EDITING TO SAY THAT GAP THE SERIES IS A GL CURRENTLY AIRING THAT I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RECOMMEND AS WELL!!!!!!! we stan the autistic queen sam is and mon whos just doing her best in a lesbian world. without knowing shes a lesbian. Somehow

#i had sooo much fun doing this i hope you like it!!!#im sorry its so late finals week was brutal. it destroyed me #BUT IM BACK AND BRINGING THIS WITH ME :)#honestly i have so many more recs i just Really didn't want this too be super long #honorable rec is the untamed #its not technically bl (adapted from gay novel BUT censored) but i disagree #xiao zhan did not put his pussy into that show for it to be called a bromance. has anyone ever considered.#that its NOT necessary to have a kiss scene or a love declaration scene and that maybe. its just enough to have the story #because thats what the untamed is.#iofjsodifjsoidghouifgi;dg i got sidetracked sorry #thank you for asking me this :( you made me blush idfjofishd #let me know what you think if you watch any of these!!!!!!!!!!!!#ily <3 #asks #bad buddy #where your eyes linger #i told sunset about you #itsay #until we meet again #gaya sa pelikula #cherry magic #hes coming to me

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teaandinanity · 2 years

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okay I feel like maybe people just don’t know but

here’s a PSA from The Most Tired Library Worker:

do not reshelve your own library books

especially do not allow CHILDREN to reshelve their own library books

there are a hundred thousand items in our collection and we are a relatively SMALL library

if things are not in the place they belong WE DO NOT KNOW THEY STILL EXIST because IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND THEM (this is not your home bookshelf where you just scan until you find what you’re looking for, scanning these shelves takes LITERAL DAYS and a TEAM OF PEOPLE and is a major housekeeping effort)

please just put books you’re not taking home on one of the labeled carts, or say ‘we’re not taking these’ and leave them at the front, or pile them up somewhere for us to find later, or LITERALLY ANYTHING other than allowing a 5-year-old to just fling them willy-nilly onto shelves

#babble tea (blacklist this for less chatter)#we did so much shelving #SO MUCH #it did not stop all day we were checking in frantically to try to get out from under the piles of returns #and then looking at the carts as things piled up because we were mostly too busy to shelve #in slowly escalating terror #so the fact that people passively watched their children Destroy the children's area three times #over the course of the day #is making me very grumpy #what did I ever do to you parents of wild children #why have you and your progeny chosen to torment me this way #why do you do it EVERY WEEK #anyway today is over and tomorrow is my weekend and I'm going to play dead #I was going to run errands but honestly fuck that noise I'm EXHAUSTED #there were SO MANY RETURNS and SO MANY PEOPLE and ONLY TWO OF US (sometimes three) to deal with it all #anyway the moral of the story is that unless you are 110% sure you know where it goes please don't reshelve it #because that is actually more work for us #and depending on whether we find the item and how quickly that happens #we may wind up unpocketing to replace it #the other moral is that I get snippy when I'm tired

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theydoctor · 2 years

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sometimes (too often) i think about mr s and wonder how he managed to survive so far lmao

#like i just talked about him with my parents (as you do) and shared some of his chaotic stories #and like wow.#how has he not died yet.#though it's more like an aura yk #everything around him gets destroyed but he's still fine #i think my new fav story is him waving to a busdriver and said busdriver then driving into someone while he runs away #or him letting his kid just fall down because of back pain #or him destroying his cars #man i have too many stories #always waiting for that moment in friendship when i can start excessively talking about mr s xD #(though feel free to ask me anyhow i'm always happy to share haha)#charlie rambles

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astrxealis · 1 year

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i am so obsessed with fandaniel tbh. epitome of guy i want to shake around in a jar and study. i want to bite him. i want to put a clown nose and cat ears on him and watch him burn down the world and fall off a cliff.

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#he tickles my brain in a way no other can ... i cannot describe the different powerful holds ffxiv characters have on me #his introduction... the first time he introduces himself to zenos. and the first time you get acquainted with him #and all of his appearances until the last. and. and. all parts of fandaniel are just so...!!#raha and themis are my faves and theres hyth and alisaie and venat and so many more but then theres zenos and fandaniel #i love how ffxiv does their antags tbh. there is a certain flavour to it i cannot really describe #i love the different stories of people who deserved 'better'. but they've caused so many atrocities too and #not everyone gets their redemption arc but some do! some do. even if it takes a long slow time #<- stormblood with that ... and shadowbringers ......#all parts of ffxiv story mean something to me even with all the imperfections. and. agh. yeah #i think of the warriors of darkness and the shadowkeeper. their story. i think of mide and her love. their story. i think of the dragons #and how they tell their stories in song. i think of the dad who could have been such great heroes... i think of what they could have been.#and ffxiv makes me think so much and there's just such a massive world and it isn't even all of it yet. and there are so many other worlds #to explore! i am just so in love with final fantasy xiv. the way it is an mmo and an rpg. and very good at both.#the way the journey of 2.0 started with the world literally being destroyed... the way it is an mmo and for a long time our journey truly #will never end. the way millions of people have a sense of comraderie from just playing this game even with the so many different playstyles #and kinds of people who play it. the way those behind the game truly love and know it and respect the playerbase. and there is just so much #in it and i love final fantasy xiv so much and just. man.#this came from a post talking about how silly fandaniel is... oh my god

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problemswithbooks · 2 years

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Right like why are we acting like Endeavor is his own person and not someone whose writing has been bungled since the Deku Solo Arc? I think the only important students that came away unscathed were Bakugō and Iida. Aizawa is the only adult whose characterization has felt solid so far. I’m not going to talk about what happened to the villains.

I do understand that it's hard to look at characters solely from a writing perspective--I certainly talk about them as people just as much as I do as tools for the story. But I do see a lot more posts talking about bnha as if these characters are human beings rather then drawings written by a person way more often.

Like take the Hawks V Twice fight. I’ve seen posts about it and added my opinion from a writing aspect as to why that entire fight was so confusing for audiences and ended up splitting the fan base way more then it was. Yet no one engaged with me from that aspect, instead continuing to talk about how Hawks was wrong because of RL reasons--which wasn't the point I was trying to make.

Enji gets similar treatment. People just look at him and talk about how, because he’s an abuser, of course he’s not making progress, which is totally disregarding whether or not that adds to the narrative of bnha or not. Yes, abusers are more likely to back track or even not change at all, and that could even work in a different story, but given all the time and effort Hori put into Enji’s arc, having it stagnate and repeat at tedium isn't helpful and is a waste of time.

And I do find it weird that so many people were willing to complain about the Deku arc, yet have praised this current one, even though a lot of the problems caused by that arc have snowballed into this one--like the rushed pacing and the dependency on flashbacks to flesh out things that could have been shown earlier. Plus all the weird character shifts that happened during the Deku arc that the story now has to work around.

As for Bakugou and Iida making it out relatively unscathed I agree--as for Aizawa not so much.

It’s not that his characterization is bad, but I don’t really like the direction Hori seems to be going with him. Him being angry at the villains makes sense, and is constant with his character. What I take issue with is the way it's implied that Aizawa is mad because he blames Shigaraki for Oboro’s fate and wants revenge. Aizawa has always been presented as a logical character, and although it’s fair he’d be upset about his dead friend, you’d think he’d understand that the Doctor was the one that zombied Oboro, not Shigaraki.

He could still want revenge against Shigaraki for the countless other things he’s done, like leveling Japan, or continuously trying to murder his students. How about for taking his eye or putting him in a situation where he needed to cut off his own leg? Or even having the Nomu pretty much torture him the first time Shigaraki invaded UA?

But it seems clear to me that Hori has forced his character to be more mad about Oboro because it’s the one thing Shigaraki didn’t play a part in. When Shigaraki inevitably gets redeemed, he can be swayed by the sudden (stupid) realization that Shigaraki didn't hurt Oboro. In fact it’ll probably be Oboro/Kurogiri that makes it clear he actually cares about Shigaraki and therefore Aizawa should to. The rest of the legitimate issues Aizawa could have had will be forgotten and he will get over his “misplaced” anger.

So, even though his character hasn’t gotten that bad of characterization yet, i do fear, given all the things building up to, he will sort of be ruined in the end. Which I don't really look forward to because I really like Aizawa.

#ask #thanks for the ask!#bnha #mha #bnha critical #I hope I'm wrong about how Aizawa's arc ends #but the foreshadowing seems pretty clear to me #like he's in revenge mode and in stories that's almost always a universally bad thing #and so far it still seems to be connected to Oboro #Maybe Midnight too #which neither are Shigaraki's fault #at least directly #I mean if he hadn't planed on destroying everything then of course the raid wouldn't have happed #so she'd still be alive #but unlike Crust or Aizawa's many injuries over two encounters #it wasn't directly the result of Shigaraki or the Lov killing her #less murder and more manslaughter

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leidensygdom · 3 months

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i love finding poetry in the mundane, and yesterday i stumbled upon something that just hits that spot

So, my partner has an old phone- It served them for many years now, but it has one issue: Charging it is hard. Their current charger is hanging on by a thread (literally), and can barely do its job. The phone and the charger came together: They've never used another charger for said phone.

Now, they've tried to replace the charging cord several times. But it doesn't matter how much they've searched what damned specific charger the phone uses, none of them work. They finally decided to bring it to a phone shop and ask what should they use.

The guy at the shop looked at the phone for a bit, and explained: "The port itself is broken. The charger you have works with this phone because they've mutually broken each other into the same shape, in a way that no other charger is shaped. The port itself has corroded in a way that only accepts the charger that shaped it like that in the first place."

And while this is of course a frustrating situation for my partner, I feel like there's a metaphor here. I could write a goddamn story about this. These two half-broken old things have been together for so long they've destroyed each other in a way that keeps them from working with anything else. They've hurt each other in a way that barely keeps them functioning together, and have been rendered useless with literally anything else.

This too is toxic yuri to me-

#poetry in the mundane #anecdote #anecdotes #objectum #<- i think that community will appreciate this

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fourteenthz · 1 month

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I just think this rn has permanently changed my brain chemistry.

also more about the cut just bc I gotta talk abt this:

they don't deserve it. neither of these 4. i'm unwell.

#I think that post will be just a nishiki and kiryu post so if you excuse me making yet another yakuza 0 post update in like less than 2h #this one got me sobbing.#yakuza 0 spoilers #yakuza spoilers #I know everybody played this game already but God forbide I spoil this shit to anyone.#kelly says #kelly plays ykz #I have thoughts.... many. and they all resolve around me being so damn weak about siblings relationship and the like. I just need makoto #to be so well at this moment. I need this girl just. well. for one second. goodamn where is majima can't he fix her watch and just give thi #woman 1 second of peace. SHE REALLY. FUCK I forgot she doesn't know he's alive haha IM GOING TO BITE my monitor.#I need to forget this game exists why are they like this...... this is so stupid why did I really thoughts tachibana was going to be alive #in the next games.......... I really don't know shit abt this franchise and I can't even guess at this point and HEAR ME OUT.... I'M SO GOO #AT GUESSING.......... to no vail. it's fucking me up so bad the fact that nishiki is here too. i'm so happy he is but this is just so #so messed up fr. once nishiki said 'how did it come to this' in that fucking scene to kiryu I have never been the same #now everything that happens to them and specially when they are together that sentence just shows up in my head to end me ig #idk I don't even have much to say here I just needed everybody to know that they are just two pairs of siblings. makoto and tachibana #+ kiryu and nishiki are just. two pair of kids. bagging my head on the wall HOW DID IT ALL COME TO THIS.... HEADS IN HAND.#insane to me that nishiki imediatelly compelled to kiryu's words and brought makoto and just never saw kiryu bawling his eyes and #pretty much declaring his position to kuze. yeah. right. that won't live in my head for the next hour while I play with majima or anything #it's 5am tho I should stop I just genuinely. need. like. anything. to feel ok. hoping here they can meet soon. please.#i really said I was doing another post so that one can just be my nishiki + kiryu post and proceeded to talk about nishiki and kiryu for 50 #of this post's tag........... alright.#majima's crazy ass self and silly moments save me.... save me majima sillyness.... or kll sagawa that's fine for me too anyway #me and my homies want to destroy dojima *thumbs up*#I was so scared kiryu was going to kill kuze at that moment my life flashed before my eyes but he's still just. so decent. I just cannot fo #my life stop just seeing this man kicking absolutely every body's ass hundred times over and how it always comes down to how much he cares.#do you think..................... do you... think it's harder for nishiki to watch that scene bc of makoto tachibana or kiryu?#having siblings fucks you up in the head btw. I can never enjoy a damn story with brothers anymore without bawling my eyes out.#holding sega on the shoulders. pls chill. let them breath let me breath PLEASE.#anyway.......majima save me.

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heritageposts · 2 years

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i saw the trailer for the new feel-good “anti-racist” US war movie about the carpet bombing of North Korea and started writing up something for this blog, partially inspired by the absolute shit storm i got for sharing that post i made with pictures of everyday life outside pyongyang

and then i gave up, because what’s the point? westerners can’t even handle a single picture of a north korean not looking miserable without screaming propaganda

meanwhile, there are no stories about the horrors of life in the ‘hermit kingdom’ that are deemed too outlandish to be believable. i can’t remember who said it, but it’s like the entire country has taken up permanent residence in the western imaginary as some silly little cartoon villain, where the leaders of the country does evil things for no discernible reason. they’re just silly and evil like that, and the citizens, of course, are silly, too. silly and brainwashed.

i watched a video recently of a tourists visiting an auto dealership in pyongyang, and the entire time he was just gawking at the employees and costumers, shoving his phone in their face, and confidently explaining to his youtube audience that everyone he’s interacting with are actually actors.

what level of dehumanization do you have to reach for that thought to even cross your mind? to think that the people you see before you are actors? that entire cities and shops are erected with to sole purpose that you, a western, will see them and be impressed?

what frustrates me the most is the casual cruelty that seeps into any mention of north korea, no matter how small. if north koreans are not being evil, they’re being silly.

a north korean newspaper reports that a group of archeologists in pyongyang have discovered an old rock carving with the words ‘unicorn lair’ (mistranslated), and the western press reports that north koreans now believe in unicorns.

a tourist at a hotel in hamhung is told by the receptionist to be careful at the beach: the waves can get high. that day the tourists goes to the beach, and there are no waves. she retells the story to her instagram followers, explaining that the poor woman at the hotel could never have seen real waves before because north koreans are probably never allowed to travel.

she adds a little teary-eyed emoji.

one of the cities i included in the post was sariwon, a densely populated city to the south of pyongyang. below are some pictures from its “folk customs street”, which was built to showcase old korean traditions and customs

here’s all wikipedia has to say about it

Built to display an ideal picture of ancient Korea, it includes buildings in the "historical style" and a collection of ancient Korean cannons. Although it is considered an inaccurate romanticized recreation of an ancient Korean street, it is frequently used as a destination for foreigners on official government tours. Many older style Korean buildings exist in the city.

it’s just north koreans being silly again. there’s no mention of what might motivate them to build a street like that — why the preservation of old customs, culture and architecture might somehow be important for the city

could it perhaps have something to do with how the U.S. air force dropped 635,000 tons of bombs, including 32,557 tons of napalm, over the korean peninsula during the war? the carpet bombings, which are now the topic of an upcoming hollywood movie about overcoming racism through warcrimes, destroyed an estimate of 85% of all buildings in north korea. some cities were entirely wiped off the map.

in sariwon they missed a few buildings, but not many — after an intense firebombing campaign the U.S. military estimated the destruction of sariwon to be at 95%.

none of this is mentioned on the wikipedia page for sariwon.

we destroyed entire cities. memory-holed the entire thing, called it the forgotten war. and now, 70 years later, we’re convincing ourselves that the people living in the ruins are actors.

and somehow the north koreans are the brainwashed ones

#forgive me lord for i am posting #to all the 'hate the government not the people' freaks in the notes #i'm coming for you next

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fefairys · 5 months

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this is one is important as fuck i see so many people not understand this and it drives me crazy

"Sburb ruins, mythic challenges, and personal quests generally tend to come off as shallow busywork, stage props, or set pieces in a spurious Hero's Journey. Rose either faintly glimpses this truth at this early stage, or she's just hitting her rebellious teen stride. Either way, she doesn't take the surface value of the quest seriously at all, and only wants to smash it apart and loot the secrets. My sense is that the average reader reacts to this impulse unfavorably. Because readers watch the formula play out so often, they are trained heavily to respect the journey of the hero, to anticipate and crave its fulfillment, to see it as something verging on contractual in their relationship with a story. So a gut-response to this recklessness is like, "ROSE, NO! STOP THAT! You simply must complete your quest and play the rain!" What comes with this view is the feeling that her evolution as a character is only being delayed for a bit while she gets some anti-narrative foolishness out of her system, and then we'll get down to business and watch her do her quest, play a whole BUNCH of rain, and reap the narrative satisfaction. There's just one problem: she never does that. This candy-coated Kiddie Kwest is at no point ever taken seriously by Rose or the narrative itself, nor should it be.

When trying to parse character arcs, we look out for certain beacons. So when we hear "play the rain," we're like, ah, GOT IT. That's Rose's arc. Once she finally gets over this destructive teen bullshit, she can wise up, play the rain, and her arc will be finished. Wrong. This is almost a red herring arc. Her quest on this planet, its patronizing presentation, its intrinsic shallowness, is a mirage surrounding her that represents a fully regimented series of milestones for achievement and personal growth, much as society dubiously presents to young people in many forms. The true arc-within-the-arc is actually an upside-down version of what it appears to be. What Rose is doing now, which seems to be misguided recklessness taking her further away from the truth of herself, is actually better seen as a good start to her real journey: breaching the mirage of regimented growth, exposing it for the charade it is, and pulling the truth out of it. The real conflict in her arc comes not from the fact that she refuses to take it seriously, by destroying it and taking shortcuts. It's the opposite. It's that, upon trashing her planet, she continues to have this nagging sense that she should be taking this quest seriously, much like how a young adult may have a nagging sense of guilt that they aren't "being an adult right" by the time they approach adulthood. And this nagging, unanswerable guilt arises from the truth that the regimentation of adulthood is completely fake. It was always a mirage. Learning this, making peace with it, is part of the growing process for many, and it is for her too." -Andrew Hussie

intrinsically queer as fuck, too, btw

#sams reading homestuck again #homestuck #rose #i also see this in particular interpreted as a 'writing mistake' from hussie #no. its on purpose.

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arminsumi · 7 months

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First request ever: Can you make a story about Gojo, where their both in a relationship but gojo had to end it because he was afraid that she would be in danger?

Thank you! Keep up the good work, I love your stories!!!

LET ME MARRY YOU

↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader

The risk of dating you his too much for him to handle, so he breaks it off, only for him to come back to your doorstep years later and ask: "Let me marry you."

Note : istg each time i edited this... the wordcount grew lol. i hope u enjoyyy 🥹💗 tysm for enjoying my work it means everything

Warnings : angst -> fluff (?) -> happy ending trust me, Shibuya arc spoilers (Ep 9), manga spoilers (chapter 221)

🍒 More from Jay : Gojo works / Gojo fave works / JJK works / oct. reqs open

The risk of dating you is thrilling when Satoru's just a teenager in puppy love. But as he grows older, and heads into those dreaded 20s, the risk makes him more and more nervous.

What if something happens to you?

He presses kiss after kiss to your forehead and feels his chest tremble, feels his lips quiver, as he refrains from telling you the truth about the Jujutsu world. Satoru just can't do it.

There are so many instances of him saving you from curses that you're oblivious about. He just smiles strangely, and you wonder why he looks like he's just seen a ghost. Because he has, those pretty eyes see ghosts. But those pretty eyes also see you, "What am I looking at?" he responds after you ask why he's looking at you so tenderly, "I'm looking at my future wife." he flirts just to fluster you.

That's at the cafe, when things are still simple. He keeps thinking to himself, as he lays with you in bed some nights;

I want to marry you.

I'm going to marry you.

Please let me be your husband one day.

As if he's trying to manifest it.

Everything is okay-ish... until he gets pangs of fright when your name starts to be known outside of his closed circle of friends.

It's October 11th.

Gojo Satoru breaks up with you.

He leads you to believe that the two of you are just "right person, wrong time". It all hurts an incomprehensible amount for him, to finally cut the string that tethers the two of you together.

He sits on the stairs, head in his hands, mourning.

He starts many mornings with crying spells that last until midday.

He destroys evidence of you and him. In case anyone ever finds it and thus finds your apartment, or work, or college... or anything.

But he can't part with a very special photo. It's you and him in Okinawa, sharing a cheesy kiss at the beach. In the moment this photo was captured, Gojo remembers having whispered some dirty joke in your ear and that's why you smiled so big into his kiss.

He drifts to sleep to the lullaby lovesongs that defined your love.

Years pass, he refuses to even talk to you. The heartbreak worsens with time, he laughs when he realizes that on his 27th birthday.

Isn't time supposed to heal all wounds? Someone said that to him once. Well, they must have been lying without realizing it.

The day Gojo Satoru is sealed, he looks into Suguru's eyes, and remembers you through them. When he resides in that awful prison realm, he only thinks of you you you you you you you oh god he misses you so much that it feels like the very thought of your smile stabs his chest. Every memory is painful. Every flashback puts one more crack in his heart.

"Can't I ever catch a break...?" He laughs to himself, chattering skeletons making their eerie symphony around him.

He thinks. Ponders. Wonders. Broods. Daydreams. All about you. Always about you. Never anything else. Just his first love, from the late spring of his 17th year.

His earthly goddess.

The purpose of his benevolent actions.

He cries. And sobs. And weeps. Because no one can hear him but the skeletons and he's sure they don't mind the sight or sound of a 27 man howling in pain over a lost lover.

It's not just your relationship that he's mourning. But the fact he can't feel you in this cube... that he can't feel your presence in the world... that's worse than the heartbreak. At least through all these years, he's been able to sense your existence. Feel the subtle ripples of your soul no matter how distant you are; you'd be stood in a coffee shop, he'd be at Jujutsu High teaching, and yet feeling you.

Because as he promised to you at 17, "Half my soul is yours. And half your soul is mine. I'll always be with you even if I'm not there."

He has the biggest breakdown of his life in that little cramped suffocating claustrophobic eerie creepy box.

It's 19 days later. He's out. He's back in the world. And he feels the sense of you, your existence, swelling in his chest, tickling his mind, prodding his heart.

"Gojo sensei, where are you headed?"

"I'm gonna go find my other half." he says cryptically.

It's a stark bright day.

Gojo Satoru knocks at your apartment door.

You open it.

He looks at you, and you look at him.

"Hi."

"...hey...? Wow. Haha... you grew into your features, huh?"

Your voice fills his heart with life.

"You too... glad you still live in the same place... I was worried you might have moved out..."

"... Ah, Satoru, you'd be able to find me no matter what corner of the world I resided in."

Your laugh fills his mind with pleasant memories.

There's an a magnetism between you and him just like there always used to be. It feels like two magnets connecting at last, after feeling the distant attraction throughout all these years of distance.

"You're right." Satoru says after a silence of just staring into your eyes.

"I'll always find my way home."

A silence ensues after he says this.

"...haha... don't cry... or I'll cry..."

"... Satoru... I thought of you every day after you left me at the station."

"... me too."

"... why did you leave?"

He stares at you.

"... I was scared of you being in danger."

He gulps.

"Me? In danger? But you're the strongest, why would it matter."

Oh god that's right. You said it then when you were 17, "You're the strongest" and he carried that title with him from then. And now you've said it again. He's reminded. He feels a bit stupid. A bit ridiculous. A bit...

"You're right..." he chokes up. "I am. I could have protected you I guess..."

"... yeah, duh."

He smiles meekly.

It was more complicated than that, sweetheart. But I won't tell you.

He hesitates. He contemplates.

"I have to tell you everything... will you promise to believe everything I say even if it sounds insane?"

"Of course. What is it?"

He inhales deeply. And instead of blurting out his whole life story of being a sorcerer in the Jujutsu world, he just leans in and kisses you hard and truthfully. Cups your cheeks. Closes his eyes. Tastes you like a sweet from his childhood that he hasn't had for years. Presses to you. Takes in your scent.

Yeah yeah... he'll tell you everything in a minute.

But for now just let him kiss you until he runs out of breath.

Let him just...

"Hey..." he pulls away, gasping, "Let me marry you."

"Haha, Satoru..." you take it as a joke and laugh, because it sounds as bizarre and unexpected as one. Then you realize there's that serious look on his face. "... Satoru?"

"Can I?"

"... what?"

"Can I please?"

"... huh??"

"Can I marry you, please?"

He looks at you and waits for your answer. His poor heart. It's palpitating. His whole chest cavity inspires with love for you. This man that you haven't seen in years has just asked if you'll let him marry you — with very specific wording.

Can he? Will you let him?

It's funny in a way, because you think to yourself; this is such a Satoru thing to do... show up unannounced years later on your doorstep and ask for your hand in marriage as if no time has passed, as if you know the full story.

"Satoru... what happened to you throughout these years for you to come back to me and ask for my hand in marriage?" you ask, genuinely baffled.

He swallows slowly. "I know I sound like I've lost my mind. But I promise I haven't."

"That's hard to believe. The Satoru I remember was always on the brink of mania. A bit insane but not quite."

You make him laugh. "Yeah..."

"So are you asking to marry me out of insanity?"

"No."

"Well alright then. I guess I'll marry you."

You make him laugh again, with that funny tone. He hasn't laughed genuinely in years... it's always been that plastic laugh. But this is his genuine laugh. Silky and quiet. The opposite of his demeanor.

"I guess I should be explaining everything to you properly... before I ask you something like that."

"You're damn right..."

"... don't scold me too hard when I tell you all the reasons I left. Or, if you do, then at least hold me while you scold me. And run your fingers through my hair like you used to."

"Satoru."

"Yes?"

His heart throbs. He looks at you.

"Stop standing at the doorway and come inside."

"Oh."

You sigh. He smiles. Then he bows his head so it doesn't hit the top of the doorframe. Damn tiny Tokyo apartments. Your archway always had it out for the crown of his head. You laugh when he bumps into it just like he always used to.

So the two of you sit down and just talk. And talk. Maybe cry a bit. Actually, you cry a lot. And he holds you. And he says he's sorry. He says sorry over and over, as if the word is a bandage he's trying to wrap around all your heartbreak wounds that he caused.

"I'm sorry."

Satoru's apologies aren't easy to come by, and when you receive them, they nurse your heart. It's the gentleness with which he says it, and earnest too. Each successive sorry means more than the last.

"My angel..."

When you call him this after he vents to you about his time in the Prison Realm, and his overwhelming duty of being the strongest, he breaks down completely and just weeps in your arms.

He sobs like you've never heard him sob before, like a dog.

Finally. At least for a moment. He could be weak. Let down his guard. Be raw. Be emotional. Not a teacher. Not a sorcerer. Just your boy. Your Satoru.

Your consolation is all he wanted throughout these years. He looks up at you, eyes red and sore, nose sniffling, and stares at you like he can see your soul.

"...Satoru?"

"Marry me."

You chuckle again.

"If that will stop your tears..." you joke.

He sniffles loudly and swallows, composing himself.

"I thought about marrying you so much when we were together... 'n I tried so hard to bite my tongue when your name nearly rolled off it while talking to my students some days. I was always..."

On the verge of saying your name.

He sniffles long and hard and waits for your hand to weave into his hair.

"Will you think about it?"

"I will."

There's a silence. Satoru feels hopeful. He lays on your chest, arms around you like you're his whole world that he won't dare let go of again.

"There." you say with finality. "I thought about it. Let's get married."

"That took you, like, ten seconds."

You laugh with him. "Yeah... I already knew in my heart when you asked me at the doorway... you know... Satoru... it's funny. When you left, it felt like half my soul was gone. And when you knocked on my doorstep, it felt like I was whole again. Does that sound freaky, or does it tie into all this... Juju... Jujutsu stuff?"

He's silent.

"I have no idea."

"Wow. My future husband isn't knowledgeable at all." you joke.

His heart flutters at 'future husband'.

"Sorry." he says, smiling softly, "My mind is blank when your fingers are running through my hair."

The two of you go on and on, until you're laid in bed sleeping at each other's side. Resting. And god, did Gojo Satoru need a good rest.

In your arms, he's no longer an insomniac.

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