#i have two engaged one in a relationship and one with a fling 😔 and then there’s me crushing on a boy i barely know 🥴

[destinyc1020]

can u elaborate a lil bit on wat u think "going on a break" mayb have meant to both T and Z? im assuming that T thought they were done for good n Z thought that theyre was room to try again

(Lol I hope you have a comfy chair! 😅)

Yea, I def think Z was keeping the door open, otherwise, she wouldn't have even bothered to give Tom that belated gift (neck chain). She's not poor lol, so throwing it away could have been an option if she was really through with him, especially had he been a bad bf. But he wasn't. They def still loved and cared about each other.... at least, that was what I gathered from their actions during the press tour.

They were also apparently still communicating with each other as well... (even for silly things), which was revealed in that press interview about Z sending Tom that calculator meme, and Tom not getting it, and him joking about being "ghosted by an actress named Zendaya" because Z didn't respond back coz she knew she would see him soon in the interview circuit lol. 😅Meanwhile, Jacob revealed that he didn't even get such a text at all lol . 👀

With Tom, I think the door was always still open as well, but like most men, he dealt with his pain through using distractions. I've noticed that a lot of times, Men and women deal with their pain a little differently. While women will a lot of times rally around with their family and friends and cry and talk, and vent, on the flip side, many times some men will quickly rebound, have a bunch of flings (or ONS), and engage in a bunch of other destructive behaviors (ie. drinking too much, being risky, etc) in order to mask or distract themselves from their pain.

It's almost ironic that the MORE in love a guy was with a woman, the more likely he will actually engage in those behaviors after a breakup. It's strange, but it's true. I think some women take it personally 

and view it to mean: “Oh, so he must not have really loved me anyway!" 😔.... But in realty, the OPPOSITE is actually true. Guys don't always deal with their emotions all that well tbh lol.

That's why, when some fans kept on saying: "Well, Tom moved on first with Olivia!!", I kept saying to myself: He's not really "moving on", he's rebounding. There's a huge difference.

And women rebound as well! They'll get with a bad boy, or just someone who doesn't remind them of their ex at all, because they're trying to quickly feel good again and “move on” also. But these rebound relationships don't usually work out in the long run, because the REASON why they got into the relationship in the first place was to get over someone ELSE. The person usually hasn’t done any personal reflection...no self/inner work, and the original purpose for getting into the relationship was skewed from the get-go, so usually these rlshps are either kind of superficial, or don't last as long as their previous long-term rlshp with their ex that they're trying so desperately to get over. 🤷🏾‍♀️  They’re just trying to feel good again, nothing more...nothing less. 

So bottom line, my guess is that deep down, Tom & Z both probably sort of had the door still "open" for each other to a possible reconciliation in the future, but Tom, feeling hurt (and being the more impulsive of the two of them), may have let his guard down that day at the festival, and was caught with Olivia. And of course, I'm sure him being seen in those pics with Z's neck chain gift didn't quite go over too well with Z at all. 👀

But by that point, I think Z felt like it was best that they just go their separate ways completely, since (in her eyes) it seemed as though Tom was ready to date other ppl. 🤷🏾‍♀️  I personally think she was hurt that he seemed to move on so FAST.... Especially right after the press tour.

Idk... in my mind this would kind of explain why Tom was returning the Tomdaya jacket after the Tolivia incident, and also why Z's behavior towards him seemed to change almost over night, and why Tom seemed so regretful for the pics, and it would prob also explain how his heartbreak was “kind of his fault....”.  (We still don’t know for sure WHO or WHAT “heartbreak” he was referring to, so this is all just speculation)

I've always wondered if TZ were fighting a lot and knew that a breakup was on the table, but weren't expecting the breakup in May to be the FINAL STRAW... but Olivia made it a firm breakup.

I think there's a huge difference btwn two ppl both realizing that even though they may love each other, their relationship is getting a little toxic/contentious, and so they both make a mature decision and agree that they need to take a BREAK from each other and not be in a relationship with each other right now (kind of like separation).....vs... "WE ARE OVER for GOOD!!" 😡(like, divorce)

Idk... this is just how I've always read the situation when the events first came out in July 2019....

But, who knows what REALLY happened ykwim? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Either way, they've both forgiven each other, and are on good terms now, so that’s all that really matters! 😊