Tumgik
#i haven't drawn them in a minute which is so sad :(
readychilledwine · 30 days
Note
span it into March, Liz. Make us cry instead
You asked for it.
Pieces of You Pt 1
Tumblr media
Summary - After losing Feyre to childbirth, Rhysand finds himself leaning on one of her friends much more than he'd ever expected
Warnings - depression, self destructive behavior, babies, grieving, loss of motivation in life, Rhys feels his spark is gone, we haven't seen into readers headspace yet
Prologue
Tumblr media
Rhys had not left his bed in 7 days. He had not changed. He had not bathed. Dark circles were beginning to form under his eyes as a permanent reminder of the lack of sleep he allowed himself.
It took one week. One week for him to feel the light Feyre lit in his soul to go out. One week for him to feel the last of his spark die. One week of tugging nothing but an aching empty void. Rhys saw no joy in life anymore, just burden and heartache.
Cassian entered the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. It had been like this the whole time. Each day, a different member of the Inner Circle would come to his newly claimed room. They'd try to tell him about his son, try to force him to eat, to drink something other than another bottle of whiskey or wine. They all would leave when they realized he wouldn't budge, and that's how Rhys wanted it to be right now. He wanted to be alone. To drown himself in self hatred, in guilt, in anger, in the depths of sadness he had never felt before. “She's asking when you're going to come see him. She's concerned you aren't bonding with him and-”
“Tell her I just lost my fucking mate and I will see him when I'm ready to.” Rhys growled out every letter, glaring at Cassian. “She's fully fucking capable of caring for both of them.”
Cassian's shoulders fell. “Rhys, she just lost her mate, too, remember? The so-called accident in the port? The one we are fairly sure Beron and Koschei planned? He was one of the males killed.”
A moment of sympathy crossed through Rhysand's face before his own grieve ate through the emotion completely. “She was one of Feyre's friends, Rhys. Trust me. She's mourning as hard as we all are as well as mourning her mate, and trying to process it all while caring for two newborns in her home unexpectedly.”
Rhys rolled away from him, indicated he was done, and Cassian sighed, looking down towards his feet. “She's keeping Nyx alive, selflessly, Rhys. Our last physical piece of Feyre. At least consider going and seeing him.”
-
Members of the Inner Circle had all but moved into your cottage.
You had gone from just you and Wen to you, Wen, Nyx, and which ever member or members arrived to take care of you that day.
Today, Lady Death stood at your door with Cassian. They were holding baby supplies, food for lunch, and clothes for both of the babies. Nesta was a shell, moving into the home in silence and setting things down as if time was moving at a slower pace for her.
Cassian tucked your messy hair behind your ear. “I asked him to come see Nyx.”
Your eyes lit up, hope for the little heir shining in them. “And?” Cassian just shook his head, eyes beginning to water as he did.
“Is he asleep?” You nodded at the question. “And Little Mor?” You nodded again.
“I fed them both about 20 minutes ago.”
“Go do something for you,” Nesta's voice was lifeless. “We will make lunch. Azriel will be here soon.”
Azriel had become a constant companion. As soon as he realized Rhys had no interest in seeing Nyx, he had been here, standing in where a father should be. Doing whatever you needed, whatever the babies needed. Even though he was there for Nyx, he still treated “Little Mor," as the Inner Circle had all named your daughter, like he was here for her too.
You moved into your bathroom, looking at the now lukewarm bath you had drawn for yourself. It would be fine. You'd be quick. Then you would be ready to go be super mom and nanny again.
-
Azriel froze when he saw Rhys dressed in casual clothing, waiting for him at the door. He had lunch for the High Lord, hoping he'd be able to make him eat before leaving to be with you and his favorite babies. A shadow curled his ear, whispering how Rhys wanted to go see his son. How he needed to meet you officially. How he was struggling to set aside his own needs. How he was a scared lamb where a lion once stood, ready to run the second things became too difficult.
Azriel held a hand out, reaching for Rhys like the brothers had reached for each other so many times before. He waited, smiling softly at Rhys as a shaking hand placed itself in his and he walked them through the shadows before Rhys could change his mind.
-
Struggling flowers in pots sat outside of the cottage, wilting slightly from the lack of time and care put into them. A blue door sat on silver hinges, greeting them brightly. Mocking Rhysand's sadness with its cheerful presence.
You were an artist, Rhys knew that much. Where Feyre loved to paint, you used charcoal to express yourself. He also knew the two of you were fast friends, constantly having lunch together, shopping together, giggling.
You had been all Feyre spoke of when she met you 4 months ago. Her first true friend with no ties to a lover, to the inner circle, to obligations. You chose her, and she relished in every moment of your love, and from what Rhys understood, you relished in hers.
Rhys had a piece of your artwork. You had sketched out Feyre, mind and hands deep in paint, glowing towards the tail end of her pregnancy as she worked on painting Nesta rising from the Lake as Lady Death.
You had an impeccable eye for details and for making emotions readable through lines. You were a true gem to the Rainbow. A valued member of Velaris. He knew your name long before Feyre had mentioned you, but now, you were irreplaceable.
To him, to Nyx, to the Inner Circle.
They owed you. Rhys owned you. The very least he could do was drag himself out of a bed, throw on clothing, and come see his son. Rhys shook as his hand reached to knock, before scarred ones gently lowered His and twisted the knob.
“We don't knock. We just enter. No loud noises, okay?" Azriel opened the door, nodding to where Nesta sat with her hands on her hand, and Cassian was making lunch. “They must be sleeping?”
Cass nodded not turning his back to face them yet. “Little Mor and Nyx just fell asleep 25 minutes go. Y/n is Bathing in cold water because Mother forbid that female takes a moment for herself-”
As if on cue, as if sensing Rhysand's presence, a piercing cry broke through the house, and they heard a door open and then another. Azriel pulled Rhys with him to the nursery where Nyx and Morwenna slept during the day. "That cry was Nyx," Azriel said softly. "He struggles during naptime. Little Mor has a more rattle cry."
Long hair dripped water onto the wooden floorboards as a small winged figure rested his head on a bare shoulder. “I know, sweetheart,” you bounced him so softly, soothing him back to sleep. “I know you're lonely. It's okay. We can cuddle, I don't mind.” A deep huff left his mouth as he settled in, basking in the contact you were offering him.
Rhys moved like a ghost to the second bassinet where a sweet girl slept, happy and content for what he hoped was a few more moments.
The two of them could have been twins. Same dark hair, similar noses, similar lips set in a forever baby pout.
Aside from gender, there were only two glaring details sitting on Nyx's back that were the tell-tale sign of their different parents. Two glaring details that killed his mate, his wife. “And your son's mother,” a soft feminine voice whispered. “She was his mother, too, High Lord. He is missing her just as much as you are.”
Azriel looked to Rhys, calling for him in his mind. Daemati. Check your shields.
"His shields are fine. He's just screaming his thoughts like they're going to manifest into life if he does."
A deep voice finally answered, void of all emotion. “I don't think he misses her half as much as I do, my lady,” Rhys continued to look at Morwenna. A picture-perfect babe who caused you no harm.
“Little Mor,” Azriel said as he stroked her tuff of dark hair. "This is Morwenna, but we call her Little Mor.” Azriel then moved to Nyx, a ghost of a smile as his lips quickly trembled before he masked it. “You should hold him, Rhys. He might remember your voice.”
“It would be good for both of you,” you whispered. “He needs you. Look into his little mind and then Wen’s,” a pointed look to Azriel allowed Rhys to finally see you.
Tired eyes, features pale from exhaustion, a small smile that didn't reach your eyes. Your beautiful eyes. You were stunning, even by high fae standards, Rhys knew that, but he could hardly appreciate it the way he once had. There was no more beauty in his world. No more light. Feyre had taken it all with her.
“High Lord, please, holding him. Even just for a second.” You moved to Rhys, standing before him, offering so much more than just his son. “He needs you, and you need him. Just open your eyes and see that.”
Rhys held out shaking hands, taking his son in his arms for the first time, holding him for the first time. Bright blue eyes looked up at him, laced with sleep and confusion, before snuggling so closely into his chest that Rhysand felt something stir again. You moved him to the chair, forcing him to sit and handing him tissues as the tears began to fall.
He looked up to where you had grabbed your daughter before she could start crying, soothing her as well. He listened to the soft whispers of your voice, he watched you care for her no differently than you had Nyx, treating them like they were both your own.
It explained the little heir's health, the rolls beginning to form on his little body, the rosy cheeks. You loved him like he was yours, and he loved you.
Rhys looked back down, and as he stared at Nyx, watching each little movement of his chest, feeling his warmth, his happy thoughts and dreams of his and Feyre's voices, of you singing to him and rocking him to sleep. Looking at his son, Rhys realized that maybe, just maybe, there was still some light left in this world. He felt for the first time in a week that maybe, just maybe, there was still something left to live for.
Tumblr media
General Taglist:
@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @daughterofthemoons-stuff @tayswhp
Rhys taglist:
@tothestarsandwhateverend @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @avajustreads
Pieces of You Taglist:
@dr4g0ngirl @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @blueeclipsepaperstudent @thisblogisaboutabook @mybestfriendmademe @novalovi @rachelnicolee @sleepylunarwolf @sidthedollface2 @acourtofbatboydreams @bunnyredgirl @fandomrejects
If your username is in bold, tumblr is not allowing me to tag you. Hopefully it will fix here soon, though!
431 notes · View notes
ghosts-cyphera · 6 months
Text
Drawing Trust
╰﹒to comfort a young girl who has just lost her entire family, Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley borrows out the two things that bring him reassurance. his mask, and you.
warnings/content: themes of death/blood/violence, but overall just a fluffy little thing. gn!reader; simon taking off his mask for the first time in front of you; word count 2.3k
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The maroon carpet was rough against the palms of your hands, as you sat cross-legged on the floor of the dimly-lit office. The night had fallen hours prior, and you stifled a yawn, as the quiet minutes stretched out: the only sound to be heard was the scribbling of the slightly dry ballpoint pens and the deep breathing of the concentrated child sitting beside you. 
With her tongue nipped between her teeth and her eyes slightly squinted, she drew on the finishing touches and turned to you.
"Done."
"Look at you go." You smiled, as you leaned over to take a look at the blue, black, and red lines. The blue lines formed a box to which four black sticks, each with four smaller sticks at their tips, were connected. Two small circles, which you assumed were eyes, and a red curve right underneath them formed a down-turned pout on the features of the box-bodied stick figure.
"Leila," you gasped, as you turned to the little girl. "I was about to claim this to be yet another masterpiece, but I've just now seen that the mouth—"
She leaned in to take a look.
"It's upside down." You furrowed your brows. "This can't be right, can it?"
The little girl grinned. "It's right because he's sad."
"Sad?" You raised a brow. "But how could anyone be sad when they have such a neat t-shirt on? The blue really highlights the color of his eyes, you know. An awesome choice on your end."
"I only had three colors."
"Still," you chuckled, as you pulled out another sheet of white printer paper and handed it to her. "Only a true artist knows where to use each color. What do you say we play 'draw-and-guess'?"
"He's sad because his family is dead."
Alright. No draw-and-guess.
Leila's fingers closed once more around the ballpoint pens to continue the drawing. Now, connected to the smaller sticks—the fingers of the box-bodied stick figure—something resembling a black banana was being drawn. 
Yet, you knew.
"He's sad because he killed his family." Her tiny little fingers wrapped around the red ballpoint pen, as she started to add splatters of blood, much in the shape of flowers, all around the paper. "They weren't really his family, not really. But they were as good as his real family, Mama said. He had been with them ever since he was a boy, but Mama said he became really bad and that's why he was with the cartel who wanted him dead, and his family dead. So then he killed them."
Indeed. It had not been a black banana that the target had been holding when your squad had found him a couple of hours prior with a self-inflicted bullet wound to the temple. The whole mission had been one big shitshow: suspects and leads turning up dead around one corner and another, until… 
Until.
"But he didn't kill me, which is nice because I like hanging out with you." Leila's voice was matter-of-factly as she flashed you a warm smile. So matter-of-factly, indeed, that if she had not just heard his entire foster family dying, you might have laughed at the cheery tone of her voice.
"Oh, yeah?" You managed, as you gently nudged her with your shoulder. "Well, that makes two of us then, doesn't it? I haven't had this much fun since I sneaked into the office of my boss to steal his stash of candy."
Her eyes suddenly beginning to twinkle, Leila raised her gaze to meet yours: her drawing now lying long forgotten on the carpeted floor. "Candy?"
This you did know how to handle.
"Mountains, and mountains, and damn mountains of it," you confirmed with a grin. "I'm afraid I took a little more than I should have, but I'm sure there's still some left. Wanna go sneak around and see if we can find some of your favorites?"
"Maybe they have Three Musketeers," she nodded her head, as she hopped up from the floor. "Or Reese's. When it was Halloween, I ate so many Reese's that my poo—" Her words suddenly died down on her lips, as she took a rushed step closer to you. 
You frowned. "Leila, are you—" 
And that's when you saw the movement at the door of the office. 
The figure standing by the door frame was so tall and wide that it blocked out most of the light streaming in from the hallway, and as it moved to take a step towards the two of you, Leila rushed to hide behind your back, small fingers closing around your arm. 
"Oh, sweetheart," you rushed to speak with a breathless chuckle, your brows furrowed. "It's alright, it's just my friend."
As if finally registering the sudden shift in the mood, Ghost's steps came to a halt, and his eyes darted to search yours.
"Ghost," you smiled, making sure that your voice remained warm and steady. "This is Leila. Leila, darling, this is my friend, Ghost."
Despite feeling the way that she shifted her weight from one foot to another, she did not answer, as she continued clinging to your arm.
"I know he's a little big and mangy—," Ghost raised his brow at you, and you bit down your laugh, "but he was there when I found you. He had my back when I carried you back to the cars so that we could both get out safely." Your voice was a warm hum. "Would it be alright if he came here to say hi to you?"
Quiet.
"If you don't want to talk, that's alright. How about you go and squeeze my arm if it's alright with you that he comes over?"
Five small fingers squeezed around your arm, and you nodded your head with a gentle smile. "Atta girl."
On Ghost's features, you could see his gentle hesitance, as his heavy feet led him to take a few careful steps towards the two of you. With you sitting on the ground, he looked even taller and broader than he usually did, and just as you were about to ask him to crouch on the floor with you, he took the hint.
With his padded knees touching the carpeted floor, he spoke with a warm voice despite its low rumble. "Hello, there. It's Leila, yeah? My name's Ghost. I'm—err—I'm a friend of Sarge here."
"The bestest friend," you hummed with a soft chuckle, and from your words, the corners of Ghost's eyes crinkled.
"The mask’s what’s scarin' you, yeah?" He gestured towards the piece fashioned after a skull, and you could feel Leila taking a step behind your back. To peek over your shoulder or to hide further away, you were not sure of.
"It's—err—it's something that—," Ghost attempted. "It's something that makes me feel safe. Less scared, yeah? It's like—when I've got it on, I'm in my own world, yeah? In my own bubble."
You smiled, as you turned your head ever so slightly towards Leila. "Have you got something like that, love? Something that makes you feel less scared?"
And just as you thought that she was not ready to speak yet, the hesitant voice replied back. "I have a turtle. Eugene."
Ghost's laugh was low—all while gentle and warm—as he nodded his head. "That's a bloody brilliant name for a turtle, that is. You've got Eugene with you?"
"No," the small voice called back.
Oh no.
The same realization that crashed upon you visibly dawned upon Ghost, too, for you could notice the way that he blinked his eyes shut for a split second in his regret.
"I forgot to take him with me." Leila's voice cracked, and with it, your heart clenched in your chest. "I miss him."
"What do you say I—," Ghost glanced at you, lowering his voice ever so slightly. "I can go back 'n get it for her, yeah?"
"They had to pull all the troops back," you shook your head. "Something about explosives in the basement. They're waiting for SWAT to arrive to clear the house."
Fuck, his eyes told you. 
I know, the raise of your brow answered, just as the quiet sniffle sounded from behind your back. What the fuck do we do now?
Ghost blinked his eyes shut for a moment, and then with a deep breath, he spoke. "Leila, love?" He sat down on the carpet, his fingers gently moving aside the drawings. "Remember what I told you about the mask, yeah? About how it keeps me safe and protects me?"
A quiet sniffle came from behind your shoulder, followed by a quiet "yeah."
"Well, having assessed the situation at hand, in my—err—professional opinion, it seems like it's you who's needing the mask right now more than I am, yeah?"
You blinked at his words, your lips parting ever so slightly as his gloved fingers moved to the hem of his mask. You could see the soft hesitation in his movements: the gentle shake of his hands, barely noticeable yet there if you knew to look for it.
And with a deep breath, he pulled it off.
Pausing for the briefest of moments, he looked at the mask in his fingers before raising his gaze. At first, it was headed slightly past you towards the girl behind your back, and then, it drifted to you.
He was your Ghost.
The corners of your lips tugged into a smile, and you swallowed as you nodded your head once and thrice. 
He was your Ghost, and he was beautiful.
Fucking hell.
From the sudden blurriness of your gaze, you glanced up in a desperate attempt to blink away your tears, only to give up with a soft chuckle as you felt two of them rolling down your cheeks, slow and gentle.
Happy: the same happiness reflecting back on the features of Ghost, as the tip of his boot brushed against yours. 
I'm here, his eyes told you. It's alright.
The sudden gentle movement behind your back drew you back into the moment, and just as you forced your lips to part, Ghost, instead, took the lead.
"Wanna come ‘n take a look at it?"
While her movements were still overshadowed by her hesitance, there was now a hint of curiosity too in the way that Leila slipped out from behind your back, and walked to Ghost.
Sitting cross-legged next to him, she carefully reached for the mask, her index finger running across the cheek of the skull.
"It's not soft like Eugene is," she hummed before her carefully twinkling eyes found those of Ghost.
"No," he laughed with a nod of his head. As he did, his nose scrunched up ever so slightly, and you bit your lip to hide your smile. "No, but what I like about it is… When you have it on, no one can see your face, right? It's—"
"Oh, it's like—," Leila smiled, as her fingers traced the edges of the skull. "It's like the shell of Eugene. When he's scared, or—or when he needs to be alone, he can go into his shell and feel safe because it's just him there."
"Yeah. Something like that, yeah," Ghost nodded with a smile. "Wanna—err—wanna try it on?"
Her eyes sparkling now, Leila nodded her head fast and hard enough to surely get the girl dizzy were she to keep it up. "Yes, please."
"C'mere then, yeah?" His fingers fumbled with the fabric, as he got it straightened out. "Look up." She did as she was told, and Ghost slid it over her head—only for the three of you to laugh, as it slipped over her eyes. "Hold up. There ya go, yeah? Can you see through the holes?"
"Yeah," Leila called out, her voice slightly muffled. Despite not being able to see her little features any longer—her button nose and freckled cheeks hidden by the mask far too big and wide for her delicate features—you could hear the burning excitement in her voice, as the mask shook with her nods. "This is awesome. Do I look scary now?"
"Fuckin' terrifying," Ghost grinned.
"How does it feel?" You hummed, leaning back. 
"Safe," Leila confirmed with a chuckle.
"Yeah? Like the shell of Eugene, eh?"
"Yeah, like I was hiding in a shell." She laughed. "A big shell. A stinky shell."
Ghost's eyes blinking shut, he nodded his head as a deeply amused laugh danced from your lips. 
"Yeah. Yeah," he grinned, the apples of his cheeks slightly flushed as his hand moved to rub his face with his laughter. "This turtle might've been a little lazy with his fuckin’ baths lately, eh? What do you say you give it back here before you embarrass me further in front of my best friend, yeah?"
Leila laughed as her little hands moved to slide the mask off her features, and she drew in an exaggerated breath. "Ah, lovely fresh air."
"Little shit," Ghost grinned, and you playfully kicked him with your boot. 
"Keep it up and we're not taking you with us on our candy heist, are we, Leila?" 
"Nah, he can come," Leila smiled, as she offered her hand to urge you up from the ground. "He's fun, even if he's stinking. Besides," she then chuckled as she pulled you up, before offering her hand for Ghost. “We need him to carry it all back. Because he's stronger than we are."
"Happy to be fuckin' useful," he chuckled.
"And if we get caught," you arched an amused brow at the girl, softly elbowing Ghost as you did, "we can blame it all on him."
"See, this is why I like you," Leila announced, as she started leading the way out of the office. Yet not before her voice, gently amused yet oh-so-knowing, had added: "And probably why Ghost's in love with you, too."
The corners of your lips tugged into a smirk, and you raised a brow at him. "That so, Lt.?"
"It was you who demoted me, darlin’," he chuckled under his breath, as his fingers brushed against yours, gentle and knowing. "Best friend, eh?”
Or maybe—just maybe—something just a little bit more than that.
Tumblr media
a/n: if you liked this wee little thing, please do let me know via comments, tags, or asks—whatever works for you. reading your feedback means the absolute world to me. ♡
789 notes · View notes
mrs-kodzuken · 2 months
Text
Two lovers and a stuffie ♡
Tumblr media
Pairing: Haijme Iwaizumi x fem!reader x Tōru Oikawa
WC: 2.4k
Genre: fluff with hints of sadness
CW: fem!reader, age regressor!reader, caregiver!haijme, caregiver!tōru, poly relationship, age regression coping mechanism, mentions of period blood/pads, when reader is regressed they use the caregiver name of “daddy” referring to iwa & kawa, strictly and completely unsexual!! stuffed animal and pacifier used for comfort by reader, switches from 1st pov to 3rd omniscient then back to 1st for plot
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
"Are you ready? You can sit with me if you'd like."
Kiyoko had offered me to sit beside her on the bus. We had been invited to a week-long training camp by the Shinzen. Even Aoba Johsai would be there too.
"Sure, thanks Kiyoko." I smiled, climbing to one of the front seats with her.
I snagged the window seat, wanting to watch the stars. Knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep on the way here, I stayed up. The fear of someone crashing the bus keeping me up.
Getting into my bag, I squeezed my stuffy's arm to calm myself. Usually, I'd have time to regress, but since we're going to be somewhere else, it would be almost impossible.
Even if both of my caregivers were going to be there. I still didn't want to risk it and get made fun of.
It was exceptionally hard to have both of my significant others in a different school too. I knew they'd be working hard and practicing, and it was about thirty minutes from my house to theirs.
The entire night, I watched Coach Ukai and our adviser, Takeda, switch between driving.
Somehow, during the night, my stomach started to churn, giving me a sick feeling. I didn't bother telling anyone because it would only cause trouble.
I never get sick during car rides, so I thought that must be it. I was just car sick.
Thinking by the time morning came about, it'd be gone. Just to my luck, it got worse.
It was like pins and needles had been continuously poking and prodding my abdomen.
I had to constantly keep my face a poker face and refrain from holding my stomach. I didn't want to cause any suspicion or worry.
"(Y/n)? Are you okay? You seem quieter than usual." I heard Kiyoko ask beside me while I was walking, going to put our stuff down in the managerial room.
All the managers from each team had an entire room to ourselves since all of us were girls.
"Y-Yes. I'm fine." I gave her a painful smile, trying to tell her I was alright.
I heard a bus across the lot pull to a stop, and it turned out to be Seijoh.
"Move your ass, Shittykawa." I heard my lover's voice, which soothed me. I practically relaxed while standing because of it.
"So mean, Iwa-chan."
Turning towards the voices, I watched them both, lovingly. But I refused to go over there, despite how much I wanted to; if I did, I'd melt into their arms.
Taking a deep breath in, hoping it would soothe my stomach. No such luck.
I quickly moved along with Kiyoko and Yachi, not wanting to be left behind when they started walking.
As the day drawn on, the pains in my stomach were getting so harsh. I even developed a headache that was pounding in my skull.
It was like the world was out to get me or something.
To make matters worse, I could hardly do my job as a manager due to switching between my headspaces. It felt like my mind was breaking in half.
I had managed to stay away from the two boys, but I was noticed by almost everyone else.
My head was loopy, making my footing weird as I walked to dinner.
"Are you sure you're okay? You haven't eaten anything today, and you're not eating dinner." I heard Sugawara say to me from across the table.
It was true; I had been pushing my food around, playing with it. I couldn't even eat because of the pain.
"I'm fine; I just am tired. I'm going to go take a shower, then go to bed." I reassured them, pushing my chair back, with a forced small smile.
I didn't care if my team's eyes were watching my every move, but I locked eyes with Oikawa and Iwaizumi on my way out.
As I turned the corner, tears brimmed my eyes just a bit. I wanted nothing more than to run into their arms and have them take care of everything. To take care of me.
I grabbed my futon in the manager's room and got it ready, but decided to lay down for a few minutes. An uneasy feeling settling in my stomach.
But when my head finally laid down, I was out like a light.
My eyes shot open, and I could feel bile rising in my throat. Immediately covering my mouth, I got up and rushed to find a bathroom.
There wasn't one in the room, but I did find one down the hall. I quickly slumped to my knees and let it all out within the, thankfully, clean porcelain toilet.
Tears welled in my eyes, wanting nothing more than the comfort of my daddies. I sobbed into the toilet, my body feeling hot and the salty tears trailing down my cheeks. My sorrow filled sobs echoed in the empty bathroom.
My stomach wasn't any better; it seemed to have gotten even worse. It was to the point where I couldn't even move if I wanted to.
I lay there sobbing, heavily deep in little space, sick. Another round of bile came about, which I released once again.
My left arm was hugging my stomach as my right one gave me support to lean on. I could feel my nose becoming stuffy, which only made me cry harder.
"D-Daddy." I hiccupped and whined, wanting them to take care of everything.
Whimpers escaped my mouth as I heard the door open. I was wishing for my daddies but was met with Kiyoko.
My eyes widened, "Please don't laugh at me! I just want my daddies!" I sobbed louder, afraid my secret would be out, snot running from my nose.
Kiyoko crouched down to my sickened state and started to soothingly rub my shoulders.
"I won't laugh, I promise. Can you tell me who your daddies are?"
"Tōru and H-Haijme." I squeezed my eyes shut as another wave of pain came from my stomach.
"Will you be alright while I go get them?" Kiyoko asked, still rubbing my shoulders.
I slowly nodded, taking a sharp intake of air.
Kiyoko had fast-walked to Aoba Johsai's room. She didn't want to leave (Y/n) in there by herself, especially in this condition.
She quietly opened the door, not trying to wake anyone. Kiyoko had walked inside, but to her dismay, she found two futons empty.
Huffing a bit, she turned around, exiting their room.
When she left, she accidentally bumped into the two people she had needed to find.
"Karasuno's manager? What are you doing up?" Oikawa had asked, eyeing her suspiciously.
"I think I have your little girl in the bathroom. She's asking for you two and seems quite sick."
The entire reason Iwaizumi and Oikawa were up anyway was to find the manager's room. They wanted to check up on their little girl, who had been avoiding them all day.
When those words left Kiyoko's mouth, they rushed to follow her into a bathroom.
I looked up from my slouching spot on the tiled bathroom floor after hearing the door slam open.
My half-lidded eyes recognized the two beings. "Daddy!" I cried, wanting to be in their embrace and take care of me.
A frantic look came upon both of their faces as they crouched down to where I was.
"Sweetie, what happened?"
"Baby, are you bleeding?"
They both asked simultaneously, and I looked down at the shorts I had been wearing during the day.
The gray shorts were leaking red liquid, causing a mess on me and the floor.
My eyes widened as I looked up, my eyes tearful. I began to apologize, sobbing louder unable to control my emotions in this state.
Haijme engulfed me in his strong arms, cuddling me softly. I leaned on his chest, relaxing.
I heard Tōru ask Kiyoko for any lady products I could use. While he was away, Iwaizumi picked me up in bridal style and he got a bubble bath ready.
He cleaned me up an brushed my teeth, too. All the while, I became sleepier as he whispered sweet nothingness into my ear.
Oikawa came back with a large shirt, his boxers, and some pads.
"Here, baby," Haijme gave me a glass of water and a couple of pills.
I easily swallowed them, trying to keep my eyes open and refrain from yawning.
Tōru picked me up while Iwaizumi had gone somewhere else.
I cuddled against Oikawa's chest while he carried me to his team's room.
Setting me down softly on a futon—well, two futons pushed together. He covered me up with the blankets.
Hajime came back with my (f/c) pacifier and stuffie.
He gently set the paci in my mouth while I brought (stuffies/name) closer to me.
Both of them wrapped their arms around me. They cradled me all night, knowing that there was a possibility of us getting into trouble in the morning.
Oikawa had started running his hands through my hair, while Iwaizumi gently massaged my stomach. That was all I needed to go to sleep peacefully this time.
When morning finally rolled around, most of the team was up. Well except for Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and (Y/n), who were still sleeping.
That morning, the guys had taken many pictures of the three of them. They laughed in adoration silently, not daring to wake them up.
But as always, there wouldn't be a day that went by when they wouldn't dare let their captain and vice captain get into trouble.
So they made up excuses till Oikawa and Iwaizumi awoke. The both of them staring at your beautiful sleeping form.
They kissed your forehead and cheek then wrote a small note on each side of you.
Once they were ready, they announced that you were sick and needed to be kept in bed all day.
Then everyone got confused as to why they, out of all people, would announce that.
"What did you do to our precious manager?" said by none other than Noya and Tanaka.
"She's our girlfriend," Iwaizumi answered, unbothered.
It seems as if Tanaka and Noya had frozen their raging attack.
"Whose?"
"Both of ours." Oikawa answered with a pointed look.
It seemed as if they both decided to reflect on their life choices after hearing that answer.
Waking up peacefully this time made me feel so much better. Cuddling my stuffie, I stretched my legs out. Realizing that me being on my period wasn't a dream, I shot out of the futon.
I was scared that I had leaked while I slept.
Luckily, I didn't, but I did need to change pads. After doing my business and washing my hands thoroughly, I laid back down.
I wasn't going to get up if I didn't need to. Looking to the left, I saw a small piece of paper lying there.
How the hell did I not see that when I checked the futon?
Picking it up, it was a sweet good morning note. It was from Haijme and also stated that Oikawa's was on the other side of me.
After I had read them, I put them in a spot where I wouldn't crush them.
I had been trying to fall back to sleep countless times, but when my cramps decided to come back, that's when I got up.
I went searching through Tōru's bag for some sweatpants because I'm not walking out of this room in just his boxers.
After sliding those bad boys on my lower half, I grabbed the notes, shoving them in my pocket and put the futons away.
I had no idea what time it was since my phone was back in the manager's room. So I decided to see what we'd be eating next to tell the time.
Walking into the kitchen, I was met with the smell of soup and, to be honest, it did smell quite good.
"Miss (L/n), you're up. The staff heard you were sick, so we whipped you up a soup. Feel better soon!" The lady handed me a fresh bowl of soup, and I thanked her while moving towards the dinner table to eat.
By the time I was done, I could hear some people coming in for lunch. I guess I had mine a bit early.
Anyways, I started shuffling back to the Aoba Johsai room; I had forgotten my stuffie and paci.
Picking them up I hid the pacifier in the sweat pants pocket so no one would see it.
When I shut the door, I turned around to head towards the room I should have slept in. My hair is probably a mess right now, and I should fix it.
I was stopped in my walk when I heard someone call out my name.
Turning around, I was ruthlessly jumped on by Tōru, I could tell by his intoxicating scent I loved. He tackled me to the floor, and we obviously fell.
"Ow, Tōru! Get off!" I shouted, trying to move his body.
"But you love me!" He leaned into my body more—that is, until we heard stomping coming from the hall.
I looked up to see Iwaizumi and smirked, because Oikawa was about to get his ass kicked.
"Oi! Get your heavy ass off of her, Trashykawa!" He ripped Tōru's body from mine, relieving me and slapping him.
"Thank you." I was gently pulled up from the floor, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"That's not fair! I want one!" Tōru pouted at me, his arms crossed.
I rolled my eyes at his playful behavior but still moved to give him a kiss on the cheek.
At the last second, the sly fucker moved his head so I'd kiss his lips. Which I should have expected from Oikawa.
"Amazing, why didn't I think of that?" Hajime sarcastically said, taking my waist and kissing me.
Just as Tōru was about to make another move, I quickly stopped him.
"No, I'm going to my room and I feel much better now. Thank you." I said that and turned to finally going down the hall.
I heard them talking about how I don't have to say thank you since they are the caregivers. I couldn't help myself, though.
When I got better, everything seemed to return to normal. I even apologized to Kiyoko because I had disrupted her sleep.
She said it was fine because she had always been a light sleeper. I just couldn't thank her and my boys enough.
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
a/n: this is from my book “Haikyuu x Reader One Shots” on Wattpad! I hope you enjoyed and let me know if you have any requests!
the header is made by me, please like/reblog if used <3
30 notes · View notes
puropoly · 6 months
Note
Hi!!!
I love your DN art so much, it gives me will to live, it gets me through the day.
I wanna draw like you oh my god you have this storyboard artist kind of style. Effortlessly expressive and dynamic.
Can I worship you? Jk jk (or am I?)
Your A is the best interpretation of this character I have ever seen. I love her.
I have some questions if you have a minute or two 🥺
Can you give me 3 favourite DN fics?
Do you have musical associations for characters (especially B)?
How do you personally feel about L and about Mikami?
What is your favourite food and day of the week?
Please never stop clowning ! 🤡❤️
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is extremely nice of you, thank you !! it's been ages since I've drawn canon DN stuff...
Thank you for the sweet message, I know I still have a long path ahead in terms of improvement as an artist but I value your words immensely as they motivate me to go on now, THE QUESTIONSSss...
Fics I remember killed me on sight
This is how I disappear. (gen) 10/10, work of art, made me sit at the edge of my seat. I recommend everything from this author, definitely DO MIND the tags though! it's dark
If you're into AUs and Lawlight, here's one where Light runs for presidency (Those who stand for nothing fall for anything) and one where he's a cryptid investigator (The forest holds strange creatures), they're both awesome in unique ways. Both are explicit, take that into account
If you're interested in reading different interactions and a very unique twist to the canon events where Naomi is the protagonist, Silent Partner, Unifinished Business is amazing and very suspensey
This one is long, immense, ultra suspensey, with a lot of different characters interacting in interesting ways I never thought before, very lawlight and very explicit, (but I read it all in like 3 days because it caught me BAD and was foaming at the mouth during the entire course of it), also was the founding inspiration to my BB brainrot and design-> Nights
I also made a masterpost of all my favourite meronia (melloxnear) fics back when I was balls deep into it
Finally, my AWESOME friends have made abbie x my BB fics for me back in the days which I treasure with my heart, I feel a bit schoopid sharing them because they're basically my OCs and their story remains a secret but they're beautifully written and. I die. I die everytime I remember they did these for me -> First Christmas (explicit), Stand under my Umbrella (short n funny), Just Another Day (sad and short, based on a comic I did years ago)
ANd also, same author as Silent Partner, wrote Dead Letter Office as a gift to me once, and it melted me into a sugary puddle in the ground
Characters and music
Like every other BB kinnie / stan I have my fair share of associated songs, mostly by style and delusion and very few by actual fitting lyrics lol. But here's what I consider his theme song - and also, I headcanon HARD that he has Danny Elfman's voice
How I feel about L and Mikami
L is special to all of us, love the guy, haven't met a single DN fan who doesn't like L. He's just fun and unapologetic which is what I like about him the most.
Mikami I have a hard time caring about, he's just not my usual type of character at all. He's too rigid for me, although he has his unintentional funny side. I also felt he had no chemistry with any other characters, so that made him less interesting for me
Favourite day and week day
I've been very obsessed with cremonas lately : o]
Tumblr media
And my favourite day is saturday now, cause I finally get to have some time for myself to exist!!!!!!!!!!!!! and not work!!!!!!!
21 notes · View notes
notmusa · 2 years
Note
For the blog vibes, here is a highly specific and exacting vibe I will now describe for your blog, which I think I've been following since I joined this webbed of site in 2011: I find myself at an indie art exhibit, hosted out of the back of someone's literal house. I had to negotiate with an overgrown garden in the backyard to get in through the wide-open porch door, my legs a bit worse for wear because there's a fucking blackberry bush that's started eating up the crumbling concrete path like someone gave up trying to keep the creeping, long-thorned vines in check.
it's small, the house and the exhibit. there's not a ton of people in here, which I realize belatedly I'm grateful for, because I feel pretty high strung around too many strangers. there's also not so few people I feel like I've got a spotlight on me, feel pressured into conversation, and I'm also grateful for that. outside, the overcast grey sky begins a light, drizzled rain.
a few people mill about with drinks, chatting amongst themselves, and I can see a guy vaping openly, boldly, while staring at a collection of little clay figurines, his brow drawn down and together and I watch him trying to imagine what it is he's thinking. music is playing softly from another room and I recognize most of the songs, even if they are obscure covers I haven't heard before.
looking at the art that's been arranged, I am overcome with a sense of déjà vu, like I've stood in this exact place before, like I know this art, this house, I know the subjects in the art, or...or that I'm supposed to know them. am I supposed to?
it was the balloons out front that drew me in, colour bright against the grey sky, and the hand-drawn sign leading me into the yard. that and I don't really have anywhere else to be right now. while I look at a series of sketches, the edible I ate about 40 minutes ago is starting to kick in. I've found somewhere to be while I wait to see if the rain's gonna last much longer, and I'm taking my time with it.
yaaahhhh i love a good cozy vibe! it cant be all chaos & sad town. thank u for such a thoughtful reply! i esp enjoyed the bit w the clay figurines :^)
85 notes · View notes
secretly-of-course · 1 year
Note
Hmmm Andi Mack for 001, Gustholomule for 002 (did I get their ship name right? I hope I got their ship name right) and Kristy Thomas for 003
Oo this will be fun!
Andi Mack:
Favorite character: I feel this is sooooo hard to decide but I'm gonna say Cyrus!
Least Favorite character: Miranda.
5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Tyrus, Muffy, Bexie, Ambi, and Wandi
Character I find most attractive: definitely Bex
Character I would marry: either Bex or Bowie, maybe both if that's allowed lol
Character I would be best friends with: lowkey I would LOVE to be best friends with CeCe. Gardening, hosing down obnoxious neighbors, what's not to love?
a random thought: I feel a little bad that I haven't drawn any of these characters in nearly a year but my brain won't let me focus on them right now :(
An unpopular opinion: Kira should have been redeemed!
My Canon OTP: Tyrus!!!! They are so important and just so good and aaaahhhhhh
My Non-canon OTP: Ambi, for a minute there I actually forgot they weren't canon :(
Most Badass Character: Bex for sure
Most Epic Villain: hmm there's not really villains but I guess Metcalf in "Were We Ever" if that counts
Pairing I am not a fan of: jandi, I prefer them as friends
Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Walker. That whole secret society episode was a mess and they totally destroyed Walker's character for no reason by making him out to seem like a player. They are literally 14 Buffy could have just said "I actually don't like him as much as I thought" and it wouldn't have been a big deal.
Favourite Friendship: The Good Hair Crew has my entire heart <3
Character I most identify with: Miss Andi herself! We both love crafts and are somewhat over dramatic but usually have nice intentions at heart lol
Character I wish I could be: Bex, she's just so cool and amazing
Gustholomule: (and yes! you got it right 😄)
When I started shipping them: Right from Matty's debut episode "Something Ventured, Someone Framed." I immediately got rivals to lovers vibes from them and latched on lol
My thoughts: I love them. They are boyfriends.
What makes me happy about them: I really like how their friendship was developed more in "Through the Looking Glass Graveyard." They really came to understand each other more and that episode also gave fanfic writers a perfect set up for them to spend more time together.
What makes me sad about them: that with the shortened season we probably won't get to see much more of their development :(
Things done in fanfic that annoys me: okay sooo I don't really like in fics when Matty is very sweet and affectionate lol he's a lil gremlin boy, he can be in love and still be a little shit <3
Things I look for in fanfic: I love when fics explore their time restoring the graveyard and slow burn romance :)
My wishlist: I'm manifesting a hug 🙏🙏🙏
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: There's not really anyone else in the show who I see them with but whoever makes them happy I guess! (anyone but Bria!)
My happily ever after for them: Being apart for so long has made them each realize how much the other means to them and after a lot of mutual pining eventually they end up together post canon
Kristy Thomas:
How I feel about this character: Nothing but respect for my president!!!
Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: none
My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: I really loved her development with Karen, especially in the Camp Moosehead episodes :')
My unpopular opinion about this character: She is a romance-repulsed aromantic! ik most people hc her as a lesbian which is cool and all but to me she will always be aro <3
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: genuinely just wish we could have seen more of her :(
Favorite friendship for this character: the 5 core club members >>>
My crossover ship: none
Thanks so much for asking!
Send me a fandom/ship/character ask game
5 notes · View notes
storytellering · 1 year
Note
Hi :) was coming back to your blog again and again (mostly by accident and bcs I'm following your here). And I had your sad thoughts about your more explicit art stuck in my head and I don't even know why. I love your artstyle and portraits very much. Even the concept of your mpreg art and other stuff is interesting. I don't respond to nsfw/explicit art anymore on any social media bcs the any fandom is super toxic towards those topics. But your last postings made me do
"-I'm sad to hear that you can't find a place to post and enjoy the audience and can only do the "right" for the big community. Even I got put into a hate-list on twitter and I don't even draw nsfw. Bcs of this I unfollowed mostly any dmc artist there (and also you). Saying "don't keep track of numbers" won't work bcs I also do this and get encouraged if people unfollow me for posting personal thoughts there. Sorry for writing so much and we don't know each other at all ^^; It's just that I had your sad thoughts about art keep stuck in my head for days. I hope you don't feel offended or anything. Maybe you'll find the right place soon :) (have you tried twitter circle? apparently you can post personal stuff/explicit art for a few selected people and other art etc for everyone). Hope you're doing well and have a nice day :)" Hey there! Thank you so much for the compliments, and I'm so sorry you had that experience :( though that's not exactly what I was talking about in my post ;; Honestly, for the most part, I've had a great experience in the dmc fandom, especially on twitter - I haven't even gotten that much shit from antis aside from the odd "wtf that's his dad!" comment on some of my VN art (which always makes me chuckle because like. yeah, i know? that's half the fun about the ship lol) (though that might be because I've always been into "problematic" fiction so I was well into the practice of blocking antis on sight, it's very possible they simply can't see my account, lol) - and I do have a nsfw twitter for explicit art that I post to quite often! (or at least used to, I haven't drawn anything worth posting there in a hot minute but that's more because I haven't had the energy and inspiration for it, not because I don't want to) What I was talking about wasn't explicit/nsfw art, as much as art depicting more "controversial" subjectes, that might make people uncomfortable - like, say, mpreg, noncon, shotacon, watersports, period kink... that sort of thing, it's not that I don't feel comfortable posting nsfw, it's just that I'm afraid about certain types of it (and not even just nsfw, because honestly almost all my mpreg art is sfw, I'm more into it for the feels and the angst than it as a kink) are a bit contentious, and I would hate for people to follow that account for "normal" nsfw and then get ambushed by stuff that might make them uncomfortable, or even trigger them - it would be tagged for, obviously, but you never know... so, my issue is less not finding a place for my art, and more knowing that no matter what, some things will make people uncomfortable/hurt them to see, and not wanting to take chances with that ;; So sorry your experience in the fandom was a negative one, from what I've seen it depends a lot on in which time period you got into it, and who exactly you end up engaging with - at one point I almost quit because I had ended up in quite a bad place where everyone around me was negative and only feeding more negativity, but once I cut those people out it was all even more fun than it was before. Hope you manage to find your little corner like that!
5 notes · View notes
purityoflust · 3 years
Text
The Smile [Jeff The Killer X Victim!Reader] [PART 2]
Jeff the killer X Victim!
WARNING: Yandere. That's it. Yandere.
I finally decided how I would write part 2 to The Smile, which is my first and most popular post on my account so far. Anyone new who has come to read this, check out my other posts as well if you'd like. I'll post more like this. I also have a Quotev account with more fanfictions.
9/12/20, 3/4 days after the top part: God, AFTER SO LONG, I FINALLY DID IT! Took me days! I'm so sorry if this is a bit lazy, it is a tiny bit rushed by the end but how would you guys feel about a detailed part 3? I'll probably go as far as a part 3 or part 4 for the final part.
The vibrations in your brain felt warm and numbing - almost like when you have a horrible migraine and you can finally feel it subsiding with your eyes closed and your fingers gently holding down onto your eyelids as if you're holding your eyes into place to prevent them from bursting out of your skull. Upon waking up you can feel cold air settling into your skin. You haven't been awake 3 minutes and you already know what you're resting on; an extremely uncomfortable metal table. You've only seen them in movies but this was real.
The sound of a singsong voice just slightly echoing through what seemed like a moderately empty room. You groaned softly as you turned your head to your right, very slowly opening your eyes. Your vision blurred in and out, which, you wanted to rub to clear it out but as you went to lift your wrists, you felt pressure around them.
Something was holding your arms down. This catches your attention, blinking multiple times while turning your head back up straight and attempting to sit up. You were hardly successful with that, struggling while grunting under your breath to pull your hands from under what seemed to be a thick rope. As you pulled harder, you sucked in your stomach out of habit before immediately coming to a halt and choking up in pain.
This whole time you were ignoring the voice that was singing eerily nearby, "You and me, always forever~"
The voice was of a male. Scratchy, shaky. Familiar.
Familiar.
You could feel a string of your heart pop out of place as your breath stopped. That's when you knew something was wrong, but it just doesn't add up. You gulp while your eyeballs vigorously glance around to see where the source was coming from, only to see a figure in a corner. It was doubled over and it was sitting down on a simple wooden chair. Doubling over a...table? An average male figure, nothing unique. Although, the clothing style was unusual. At least what was on the clothes. He wore a fluffy white hoodie and what seemed to be black pants and black-and-white converse. The problem wasn't the outfit, no. His hoodie was spotted and had patterns upon patterns of darkened and more fresh-looking blood splatter. He had long black hair down to his shoulders. And luckily, his back was facing you.
You were dumbfounded. How did you get here, why are you restrained, and why is there a blood covered man near you? Is that even blood? Maybe it's paint or a design? Some people do wear clothes that have different kinds of blood splatter designs on them. Hm. Or he's an actual murderer about to gut you like a fish.
You wanted to speak. You wanted to speak so badly but you just couldn't. As you parted your lips, your throat went dry while your gaze stayed locked onto the bloody male that sat before you. The singing made you shiver as you tried so hard to remember where you could have heard or seen him. Why can't you remember?
The male then turned around to look at you. His singing had come to a gentle halt. Your mouth closed as he did so, your throat going completely dry and your whole body feeling like an ice cube. You were greeted with cold blue eyes. They looked hungry and bloodthirsty, yet they held a warm affection as they looked into your traumatized eyes. It was almost comforting until you saw the rest of his face. His skin was snow white and his lips looked dry. That's when more attention is drawn to his lower jaw. He's smiling. Too big for a normal person.
That's when you realize. He has a large smile carved into his cheeks going from ear to ear while his own lips were curled within a smile as well. And that's when it hits you.
And it hits you hard.
The memories of hours prior start brutally crashing into you, flooding back into your numb brain. All of the realization replaced itself with agonizing anxiety, your heart starting to race at speeds that felt impossible. You could pass out, but something inside you kept you awake. Something about him and about this whole situation was making you dizzy. The male slowly stands and turns his body all the way to face you. He seemed deranged, yet, he had a very relaxed stance and body language.
Uncomfortable silence loomed in the air.
He kept staring at you before slowly taking steps forward. You watch him carefully as your head feels like it's spinning, which you could notice your vision blurring a little bit here and there. The silence is suddenly disturbed with the male speaking up again, choking up in giggles. "Oh my sweet Y/N, you're awake~" He cooed, now standing over you. He leaned himself down and reached his hand to your cheek, gently brushing your skin with his surprisingly soft thumb. He leaned his face closer to yours. The smell of booze, blood, & smoke overwhelmed your nostrils. Yet it didn't seem to bother you that much.
His touch almost kind of made you feel...at ease. Your heart slowed itself and your breathing went back to pace. You felt fine, somewhat, but something in your stomach was still sore. The more you stare at him, the more memories come flooding back. The more memories flooding back, the easier you fit the puzzles together.
"M-my...stomach..--" You stutter out painfully.
In response to this, the male turned his head over to your abdomen and gently rested his other hand onto your bandaged stomach, applying very gentle pressure on it as to not hurt you. It was still slightly painful, causing you to groan under your breath.
"Oh, this...I'm sorry, my sweet butterfly. I had to make sure you wouldn't get away, and you didn't! Don't worry, Jack patched you up, so you'll be just fine!"
You remember now. You remember it all. The chase, your friend, the salty kiss before what you thought was your demise.
You naturally wondered as well; who's Jack?
"Wh-.." You weakly force air out of your throat again to speak, "why am I..tied-?"
"Oh, so you wouldn't be able to get away. I knew you would run away, or struggles, so I had to make sure you wouldn't do that!"
He was right. You would run away and struggle to get out of whatever the hell kind of place you're in. Well, knowing what he looks like. He DID stab you, after all. Who knows what this sicko wants.
He lifts his hand from your stomach and turns back to you, gently placing both of his hands at each side of your face. "You're so beautiful, Y/N. So sweet and so innocent. I couldn't keep letting the others eat you up like candy. You're mine and only mine. I need to protect you."
"Wh-who- are you?" You weren't really all too scared for some strange reason now. You were pretty calm. Probably from all of the energy this is draining.
"His name is Jeff." A deep and gruff voice cuts in.
The both of you turn your heads to the door of the room where a tall figure in all black stood. He was about 6"4 wearing heavy boots, black jeans, and a black hoodie. His hair was a dark brown though while he wore a mask. The mask was a dark blue with black goo oozing from the eyesockets. He was pretty intimidating even just by standing idly like a character waiting to be loaded in.
"And I'm Jack." He continued, "I'm the one who took care of your wound."
Jack stepped closer, soon standing at the other side of the table. He stood at the left as Jeff stood at the right.
"He wouldn't stop insisting I help."
You just blink, unknowing of what to respond with. He pursed his lips under his dark mask, in his own thought for a moment while staring down at you. You seemed calm enough, and your still pretty fresh injury was gonna hold you back anyway.
"[P]-[Pronoun]'s gonna-!" He attempts to blurt out, only to be stopped by you.
"I won't."
You were untied at your wrists and ankles, allowing yourself to pull your legs up and rest your feet at the top of the table, propping your knees up. It made your stomach feel weird, but it felt kind of nose and felt like it was easing the pain. You wrapped your arms around your knees, looking around the room more. "What is this place?" You ask.
"It's a medical room."
"Huh.." You shrug it off. Your anxiety levels had died down and the more you actually think about it, this isn't the worst thing that's happened. Your life has been pretty fucked up and you have damaged relationships everywhere. Honestly, being around new people and being far away from others sounds not too bad right now. Not like anyone would care anyway.
The next few hours, you're introduced to everyone else at the Mansion. They've been so...unique and honestly, you're surprised some people and beings like them even exist. They were all equally surprised with how little fear you showed.
You actually got along with most of them.
The others have taken a liking to you and hope you hang around longer. Alone in the living room, you, Jeff, Jack, and others sit at the couches and chairs in the living room, chatting away and getting to know them as they get to know you.
You feel Jeff wrap his arms around you and place a gentle kiss on your forehead, making your heart skip a beat.
You found out Jeff has been stalking you for months at a time. Watching your every move, eliminating anyone in the way. Huh, no wonder so many people in your life kept disappearing. You...couldn't bring yourself to be upset or scared, let alone even sad. You felt kind of at ease.
And far from uncomfortable. Someone loved you. Maybe more than they should, but they love you.
You didn't even feel upset at the fact Jeff had murdered that friend earlier. I mean, you just met the guy, so he wasn't even a 'friend'? So you paid no mind to it.
If anything, you really liked the thrill of someone being obsessed with you. A serial killer being so infatuated with you. He could be so protective of you and get rid of anyone you asked him to! There's is an advantage here. You knew he could snap and probably kill you intentionally or unintentionally, but you didn't mind. You really had no one else, technically speaking. No one that really cared. Not as much as he did.
Maybe he isn't so bad.
230 notes · View notes
jojotichakorn · 2 years
Note
hello archer first things first ily and hope you’re having a good day ✨ now let’s get down to business what do you think pran was thinking during their kiss?,,, what about pat???? what about when it was finished and pat was so happy and pran so resigned to sadness,,,???,, i need all your thoughts bc i love them!!!! also also also what time does the episode drop on friday? i’m trying to prepare xox
heyy dear, thank you so much, i hope you have a wonderful day as well!! the episode goes live on gmmtv's youtube channel at 8:45 PM (20:45) bangkok time.
now, onto your questions... would it be stupid to say that i am not entirely sure what they were thinking during the kiss, because i've never kissed anyone? idk, like do people even think something during a kiss like that or is it just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH in their heads? i can definitely talk about after the kiss tho dfjgjdfkgjkflg
i've talked about how i feel like pat might have thought that his feelings weren't reciprocated for just a second between the kisses (which i feel like the moment between the first and second kiss is also quite important), but i haven't discussed what pran was feeling in that moment. which, i feel like he felt quite defeated (i will expand on that when i talk about him leaving after the kiss), but i feel like everything went to the background and the only thought left in his brain was "this is your only chance", so despite looking and indeed feeling devastated, he goes for it, because he really feels like this is the last bit of happiness that he can have with pat.
and when the kiss ends, i think pran resigns to the fact that this last bit of happiness is over. and for him, this is the worst possible situation to be in.
he's wanted pat for literal years, never stopped wanting him even a little bit despite the fact that they were brutally separated, then eventually got pat back, but not exactly in a way he wanted, though he harbored some hope that maybe some of the things pat did indicated that he also wanted him the same way, and then pat basically told him that he wanted someone else in that way, and pran had to resign to the fact that his feelings were unreciprocated, only to find out that actually no, they are very much reciprocated. and he goes through that entire journey, through this fucking rollercoaster of emotions, only to arrive to the conclusion that none of it matters because he can't have it. moreover, he can't have anything now.
in this stupid pretend rivalry that they've had going on for years, he had pat - not exactly in the way he wanted, but he had him. and as long as they were close (in a territorial sense, as long as they weren't sent off to places where they couldn't meet each other), he knew that he'd always have pat. no matter what. there is just so much of everything between them that there is no other way to go about it. they are drawn to each other by faith itself. but the kiss transforms everything. it's a point of no return. because they can never go back to this pretend rivalry now that they are both so clearly and openly bursting with love. these feelings, this relationship with pat - it's the thing he has wanted for so long, it's what he still wants the most, but it also becomes his undoing. and he has to live with the fact that he had the very thing he wanted in his hands, ready to be his forever, and he couldn't fucking have it. in fact, he had to let it go himself. had to rip it out with the root with his own two hands. that's fucking heartbreaking.
now pat,,, gods my boy went through a rollercoaster of emotions in just that one fucking minute after the kiss.
first thought? he's just happy. of course, he's fucking happy, because the person he is in love with loves him back. and in a similar vein with pat he also realizes that this is a point of no return - he made a step that will change their relationship, depending on the outcome. and to pran, pat not reciprocating his feelings is uncomplicated (not easy, but uncomplicated in a way that he's used to it and can probably live with it forever) and pat reciprocating his feelings is extremely complicated, as we've already discussed. for pat though? it's the exact opposite. it would be so complicated for their already complicated relationship to have this additional layer of unrequited love, but if they love each other? my gods, how easy do things seem to pat in that case. they should just be together then, end of story. and he's happy about it, because he doesn't yet understand what possible reason there could be for them not to be together. he is ready to get married, put up a white picket fence around their dorm rooms, and adopt a dog tomorrow at this point. he is all in.
but pran doesn't look happy. and at first pat thinks that maybe it's just him being really emotional over his feelings being reciprocated - they are both emotional, just in different ways, pat thinks. but then pran leaves. and it's absolutely fucking defeating, but i also think it's confusing. i don't think pat understands how affected pran was by the transfer at all. so he can't really make any connections yet, he is missing so many pieces of the puzzle, he can't possibly see any picture. pran loves him back, and yet he left. and what is he supposed to think then? i think his brain is going a thousand miles per hour, and it won't stop until pran explains everything to him next episode.
but i also think there is a tad of insecurity crawling somewhere in there. we've already seen a bit of it before, and i mean... one of the possible conclusions to come to in this situation with no context to what pran is actually thinking is that maybe pat is just not good enough for him. or not worth the trouble. or there is something else wrong with him. and those thoughts creeping up on him from every corner is what he will be left with until he finds out the truth. which will really help him. because when he finds out that pran does love him and does want him, he will shift into that incredibly calm and almost matter-of-fact attitude of "should we just try then?" that we see in the teaser.
because at the end of the day, pat believes that they are destined to be together. and all he needs to know to really fight for their future is for pran to say "yes".
34 notes · View notes
maxburnett · 3 years
Text
Last Dance, Bucky Barnes
Written for @buckyblues 4K Writing Challenge
pairing: 1940sFem!reader x 1940s!Bucky Barnes
genre/warnings: Angst/Fluff/Romance/Smut This fic involves smut! If you are under 18 please do not interact with this fic. Mentions of character death. Sad Bucky and Sad Reader :( Also, there's some Stucky in here if you squint on that note I left the ending up to your interpretation! Based off of the song/lyrics of the song Last Dance by Donna Summer Hope you enjoy the fic! Please reblog and review if you can ♥
words: 2,471
summary → You and Bucky have been dating for 6 months and he has some news that will change your life.
Tumblr media
Bucky sat beside Steve as Steve drove down the road; he looked down at the old copy of The Hobbit in his hands that had your bookmark inside it. Something that one of his nieces had given him that his sister had held onto for all those years. He opened it up and saw an old sketch that Steve had drawn of the two of you all of those years ago; he closed his eyes as a single tear fell, and he brushed it away. All he could think about was you. The way you smiled, the way your lips felt against his. Sometimes he felt like he could feel your lips on his skin. But that was merely wishful thinking. He closed his eyes, holding the book close as he let his eyes drift off to sleep.
You smile as you sit beside Bucky, your head on his shoulder as he has his hands in yours. You're enjoying the sound of the music that's coming from the record that he had put on. He liked to listen to soft, slow music, but you were always more captivated by his eyes and his jawline than the music that played.
You and Bucky had been dating for 6 months, but your friendship had been just as long as his and Steve's had been. You had once punched a guy who was picking a fight with Steve, and they welcomed you into their close-knit friendship.
The relationship had been just kissing and cuddles and Bucky's hands up inside your shirt to feel your skin. He had told you that you were worth more than any other girl he had dated and that he loved you more than he's loved anyone ever in his life. You smile as you think back to the day he first told you that he loved you. He had been staring into your eyes while he had an arm around you as you read The Hobbit sitting beside him.
"Doll," he had whispered, causing you to look up at him. "I love you so much," he murmured, taking in how beautiful you looked as you read. "I love everything about you, doll," he said, causing a smile to spread across your face.
Steve sat in a chair facing the two of you, absentmindedly shading a drawing of the two of you. Bucky had been quiet, which wasn't like him. You gently moved your hand to his face, pulled his head to face yours, then looked deep into his cerulean eyes. Your fingers gently moved up his delicate features. He finally leaned a little, kissing your fingers as they were close to his lips.
"James," you whisper as his eyes find yours. He looks down at his hands that you take hold of.
At the mention of Bucky's first name, Steve closes his notebook, knowing that you only called him James when you wanted to talk about something serious. He walked back to his bedroom then you heard the sound of his door shut.
"James. Look at me. What's on your mind, Love?"
"I haven't told Steve ... you have to promise me you won't," he whispers.
"Told Steve what?" You ask, your hands finding his as he looks into your eyes before looking back down.
"I enlisted," he whispers. The slight smile that you had on your lips suddenly disappeared.
"Bucky," you whisper, as you could feel tears beginning to form. You closed your eyes, not wanting to cry in front of him. He took your head into his hands, pulled you close, and kissed you. The kiss was like no other kiss he had given you before. Soon you pulled away breathless. You clung to him as the tears fell.
"I love you. I have to do this, Doll," he says, his forehead pressed against yours. He takes your hands in his and pulls you up with him. He turns the record player's volume up a little higher. Placing his arms around your waist, he pulls you against his chest, your head resting into his white shirt as he leads you in a dance. You cry into his chest as he rests his head down against yours.
"I love you so damn much," he murmurs as he kisses the top of your head.
"I love you too, Buck," you whisper. He gives you a small smile as he continues to hold you against his form as the two of you dance with you in his arms.
"James. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I need you by me ... without you, I don't know what I'm going to do," you murmur, looking up at him. "Make love to me," you as quietly as you could. You knew there was no guarantee that he would make it back. "Please ... make love to me," you say as the tears ran down your cheeks.
He kissed you and gently picked you up into his arms. Then, carrying you into his bedroom, he laid you onto his bed.
He laid above you, his elbows holding him up above your frame. He looked down into your eyes, his face softening as he wiped your tears away.
He kissed you. You closed your eyes as your hands ran into his hair. Your body lifted a little as he reached to pull your blouse over your head. He placed sweet, gentle kisses onto your neck, his lips moving down to your white bra as you guided his hands to the clasp so he could unclasp it.
The bra fell to the bed. You looked down into Bucky's as he placed his mouth over one of your hard nipples. You moaned and tugged on his hair and felt his tongue circling around the sensitive bud.
He placed sweet little kisses all over your breast before moving over to the other nipple and repeating it again for that breast.
You moaned as he moved lower, his fingers pulling at your skirt to push it down your legs. You wiggled out of it ad kicked off your shoes as he placed gentle kisses onto your tummy.
You could feel his lips going lower and lower until his fingers were hooked on each side of your white panties. He pulled them down, and you pushed them off with your toes before biting your lip as he looked up at you and then at your wetness.
"Already so wet for me," he murmurs and gently runs two of his fingers into your folds. You buck your hips against him, and he smiles.
"We got all night, doll," he murmurs before kissing your thigh as he pushes a finger inside of you and looks up at you loving the noises that you were making and the feel of his fingers being deep inside you. "Taking my fingers s' well." He smiles as he kisses your tummy after kissing his way up your thighs.
"Shit. Feels so good, Buck," you murmur as your hands find your breasts, and you rub them. He smiles as he rubs another finger over your clit, and your hands leave your breasts and go to his head. You pull on his hair as he removes his fingers and replaces them with his mouth.
"Taste s' sweet." He says against you before pushing his tongue gently into your core. It takes everything inside you not to rub against his face, but the moment he begins to lick and suck on your clit, you come undone, moaning out his name.
"That's my good girl," he says against you, then kisses your tummy before he lays back and pulls your naked body over his.
"Buck," you murmur. "Can I taste you?" You asked with a blushing face.
"Sure thing, doll," he says and kisses you before lying back and allowing you to undress him. You kiss his stomach and look up at him, your eyes filled with innocence and all of the love that you held for him. You promised yourself you wouldn't cry, but there was a sad way that he looked at you. You took a deep breath and continue to push his boxers down.
Your hands kneaded Bucky's thighs. He let out a gasp when your hands wrapped around his erection, slowly moving it up and down as you bit your lip and looked up at him.
"Oh God," he said, closing his eyes and placing his hands gently into his hair. "So good, doll. Your touch feels so good,"
"You like my hand ... wait until my mouth is on it," you say with blushed cheeks. Eventually, you took the tip of his erection into his mouth and took him in slowly. You gave yourself time to adjust as you looked up at him as you bobbed your head up and down slowly. His moans filled the room and Bucky pulled your hair gently.
"I need to be in you," he murmured. "Please," he said as he looked into your eyes.
You removed your mouth from his erection and kissed up his stomach and laid above him, and kissed his lips. His eyes landed on yours as he rolled you over, so he was on top again. He pushed into you slowly as you moaned out and held onto him.
"So tight," he murmured against your lips. His head leaning against you, he continued to slowly push into you, not wanting this night to end. If this was his last time with you, his last dance with the woman he loved more than anything. He wanted it to last as long as possible.
After a few minutes, you pulled on Bucky's hair pulling his hips closer with your legs. He kissed you and leaned his forehead against yours as he came deep inside you and your body began to shake as your own orgasm had your whole body shaking. He stayed inside you and held your body against his, his hand moving up and down your back, and the moment that the two of you pulled away and he pulled out of you made you feel like a knife had been slid into your stomach. He held you close like you were part of him and lazily kissed your head.
"Doll," he whispers.
"Mmmmm?" Was all you could get out due to your eyes getting heavy.
"Let's get married," he says and looks down at you. "Before I head out ... you Steve and I ... let's go to the courthouse and let's get married," he looked at you with pleading eyes, and you leaned and kissed him and nodded your head.
You and Bucky were married the following week. But, unfortunately, he was shipped off two weeks after that.
The day that you had gotten the letter of condolence was the most challenging day of your life. First, finding out that your husband wasn't coming back to you hurt. Then you learned that you had a small part of him inside you when you found out you were pregnant.
When you found out that Steve had saved him and that he was alive, he had sent a letter explaining everything to you. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world, but it got ripped away from you when you got another letter saying he was presumed to be dead.
The day you learned that he was missing and that he would never make his way back to you, you wanted nothing more than to go with him, but you knew you couldn't. You knew you had to give his little girl the amount of love that he had always given you. You gave birth to a healthy baby girl with eyes as blue as Bucky's and a soul even brighter than his smile that both haunted and soothed your dreams. It was in your dreams when you slept that you sometimes found peace in knowing that that night many years ago wasn't your last dance.
Tumblr media
"Buck," a voice sounded, and Bucky opened his eyes and stretched his legs as he sat up. "We're here," he said as he looked out at the old-looking building. Bucky nodded his head and rubbed the back of his neck as they both got out of the car.
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"I'll be okay," he said as he got out of the car, leaving the book in the seat. He walked towards the house and up the stairs and knocked on the door, and waited.
"Just a second!" A voice said from the other side. The door opened a young woman smiled up at him. "Hi! You must be James!" she said and led him into the building and down a few halls.
"You're sure there's nobody else?" Bucky asked as they walked down the hall.
"Yeah, we had lawyers check. Your wife only had one child, and when your daughter and granddaughter passed, there was nobody else," She said before they walked into a room at the end of the hall.
They entered a room where he saw a woman sitting on the floor playing with a little girl with (Y/H/C) hair giggling as she held a Captain America figure in her hand.
"Lilly," the woman said down to the little girl who turned and smiled up at Bucky. "This is James. He's going to be taking care of you,"
"Please call me Bucky," James said with a smile as he looked at the Captain America Figure she held tightly to.
He leaned down to look at Lilly, his great-grandaughter that he was now the guardian over, and she smiled as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. Then, he closed his eyes, picked the little girl up, and headed to fill the final papers out, confirming that he had officially adopted Lilly.
He walked her out holding her hand, and Steve smiled as he walked over to where they were standing, and he leaned down to look at the little girl and smiled up at Bucky.
"You must be Lily," he said with a smile. "It's so good to finally meet you," he said as he stood beside Lilly and took her other hand in his. "What do you say we all head home?"
"Yeah!" She giggled. "You look like my figure," she said, holding it up as they got to the car.
"Why guess I do," Steve smiled as he opened the door and showed Bucky how to buckle Lilly in. Once Bucky got all the buckles done, Steve closed the door and smiled at Bucky.
"Are we really doing this?" Bucky asked as he rubbed the back of his neck with a small smile.
"Are we raising a kid together? We sure are Punk," Steve says with a broad smile as Bucky grins over at him and looks at Lilly through the window as she placed her Captain America figure into the seatbelt of her booster seat with her.
My Tag List:
@balenciagabucky @belladonnabarnes @bibbidibobbidibucky @bitchassbucky @bloomingbucky @bucksfucks @buckyblues @buckys-blue-eyes @faeryloki @fairyevans @fallinforevans @fluffycutecevans @fuckandfluff @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @lokiscollar @mickey-henry @midnightf @onceuponabarnes @stcrrynightsinneverlcnd @syntheticavenger
84 notes · View notes
yourmidnightlover · 3 years
Text
lost my everything
Summary- while revealing something to spencer, you confess something during the process. he didn't know how to react, which led to a terrible accident in which he might lose you forever.
TW: talk abt mental and physical abuse, alluding to death, talk about self-harm, SAD ENDING
WC- 3,152
a/n - please don't read if you're sensitive to self-harm or talk about emotional and physical abuse because reader goes into discussion about these things. i care about you and your safety so if you need to talk about anything please seek help or my inbox is always open! you are loved and you are needed <3
masterlist
Tumblr media
----------------------------------
one thing about being the youngest member of the team meant that the second-youngest member was drawn to you.
that second youngest member happened to be spencer reid.
you had just had another paperwork day today since you got back from one the night previous. you were currently in the conference room discussing the case before we got off-topic, curtesy of spencer's coffee problem.
"i might have a slight problem with my coffee addiction, but there are many studies that go to show the benefits of drinking coffee. supposedly, drinking coffee could extend your life period, strengthen your liver, increase your body's glucose production, and even-"
"okay, that's all for today guys. go home and get rest before a case comes in," hotch interjected and warned.
you placed your hand on spencer's arm, this time underneath the table, as his face began to fall from disappointment. he turned to face and gave a tight-lipped grin before you removed my hand and we both stood up.
"so, spence, my place or yours for the doctor who marathon this time?" you said as he grabbed his bag from his desk.
"we went to mine last, so we can just go to yours this time," he said with his natural pep back. "besides, i kinda like your apartment better," he shrugged with another wide smile.
"clearly you do," you joked. "you almost always say my place," you laughed as you both joined jj. pen, and emily in the elevator.
"hey, y/n, would you wanna go to o'kiefs with us tonight?" jj offered kindly.
"already got plans. maybe next time!" you said with a smile, turning back to see spencer wearing the same smile on your face.
honestly, you and spencer have gone to the bar with the team a few times. you weren't opposed to going with them, you just knew that going meant everyone would pressure you to drink alcohol.
last time, you had succumbed to peer pressure. spencer had to drive you home and hold your hair as you puked into the toilet, it was a very good bonding experience. you didn't remember much, but you do remember you convinced him to stay the night, although he did end up sleeping on the couch rather than in the bed with you.
"after last time, i don't blame you, y/l/n," emily laughed out, giving a concerned look recalling the memories flooding her mind.
"next time we won't pressure you so much!" penny consoled. "i didn't know how much you meant it when you said you can't handle your alcohol," she winced.
"yea... i really meant it," you laughed out, trying to shed some light on the subject. the elevator opened, allowing you to go your separate ways for the night. "have fun you guys!" you called as you walked to your car with spencer.
spencer and you have been carpooling to work ever since you learned he took the metro to work and only lived a couple blocks from your apartment complex. you couldn't stand the thought of something bad happening to him while on the train, so you've offered to give him a ride there and back ever since.
in return, spencer insisted on paying for daily coffee runs for the two of you. it was his way 'of returning the fuel money in another type of fuel.'
you and spencer crawled into the car and began the drive back to your place. it wasn't too long to your place, only a 20-minute drive, but being with spencer made it feel like half that.
"do you even remember what happened the last time you went to the bar with them?" spencer laughed.
"not exactly..." you grimaced. "just that you took me home, there was a bit of puking, and i coerced you to stay the night. and you slept on the couch, which is absolutely ridiculous! i mean, i was the one who practically made you stay, so shouldn't i have slept on the couch? it's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before," you ranted.
"you're right, we have slept in the same bed before," he clarified. "but each time we did that you weren't drunk out of your mind," he sassed.
"ha-ha, spence," you mocked. "i did say i couldn't handle my alcohol. is there anything you wanna fill me in on?"
truthfully, yes.
there was something he wanted to fill you in on.
he wanted to tell you how you confessed your past to him.
he wanted to tell you how you kissed him right after...
and he kissed you back.
he could still remember the way your lips tasted, still covered by the vodka from the shots you took hours before.
but he didn't want you to think less of him since he kissed you back.
he just couldn't help it.
he'd been helplessly in love with you for so long, yearning to be with you as more than friends... as more than what he thought you wanted. but that kiss was his hope.
it was hope that maybe you felt a fraction of the chemistry he did. it was hope that maybe even if you didn't like him, you still had an attraction towards him in some kind of way. it was hope that maybe you would grow those same feelings for him.
but no matter how much 'hope' that kiss gave him, he shouldn't have kissed you back. he knew how vulnerable you were by telling him about your history of abuse.
you told him about your parents. about how they would throw you around when they were high, or drunk, or both. you told him about how they would call you worthless, a whore, stupid, good-for-nothing, basically every name in the book. but you didn't tell him about how you coped with the abuse.
so, when he told you how amazing you are to be able to turn your life around how you did, and how beautiful you are and always have been, you couldn't help but embrace him with a kiss.
you kissed him.
and he kissed you.
in a wonderful, vulnerable moment, he kissed you back as he'd always wanted to each night you spent with each other.
"nope," he shook his head. "nothing to fill you in on."
"i guess that's good," you shrugged.
he also wanted to know if you'd ever tell him about what happened when you were in your right mind. he wanted to know that you trusted him with your darkest secret that you accidentally already spilled to him.
although, maybe you should know about what you admitted to him. it was your life, after all. it was your past that you revealed to him in a simple drunken mistake.
"actually..." spencer started, taking a deep breath as he looked into your eyes. "you did mention something."
"okay... what'd i mention?" you wondered.
"you told me about..." he tried to find the right words to say. "about your parents."
"oh...?" you began to realize what you had admitted to him that very night, still not remembering the events that followed. "i didn't want you to find out like that..." you trailed off.
"i figured you didn't," he gave a small grin. you looked over at him hesitantly.
you thought about all the ways you could react to this. you could block him out and act like it was his fault you drunkenly confessed your past. you could ignore the fact that you told him at all and just move on, burrowing all the emotions inside of you once again. or, you could try to finally move on from what happened and how you coped with it by talking to spencer about it.
"when we get to my place, would you mind if we held off on the marathon? i should probably elaborate a bit more," you asked meekly.
"of course we can. we can do whatever you want tonight, y/n," he soothed, placing a hand on your lower thigh comfortingly.
you drove back to your place in silence, the both of you anticipating the conversation awaiting you.
when you finally entered your apartment, you both shed your coats by the door, hanging them on the hook, placed your guns and badged on the table beside the hook, and sat down on the couch comfortably. you crossed your legs, your knee up in the air, as spencer sat down with his knee touching the one still on the couch.
"so... how much did i say?" you asked curiously.
"you talked about the emotional and physical abuse, but nothing too in depth," he confirmed.
"when i was young, about 12, my parents got into a minor car accident," you began telling him about your past, trying to recall the memories with little hurt or pain. "they weren't at fault, it was a drunk teenager, but they each got addicted to their pain meds from the hospital. i would be asleep when they would come home from a night out, drunk and high out of their minds. i remember the first night it happened. i wandered in the living room, curious of what the ruckus was, and was greeted by my dad's hand slapping me across my face," you chuckled humorlessly, not knowing what other reaction was appropriate.
"he told me i shouldn't have been up or seen what they were doing. he was furious," you furrowed your brows as tears began to well in your eyes at the memory as spencer gingerly placed his hand comfortingly on your knee, scooting a tad bit closer to you. "after that night it became almost a pattern of his. he would come home and then get upset from his high coming down, and take it out on me. my mom just laughed and watched as he would hit me."
"eventually, they started just belittling me. they would say i was a coward for not standing up for myself. they would say i was stupid, or worthless. they especially liked to call me 'a waste of space,' i think that one was their favorite," you took a shaky, deep breath as you knew you were about to reveal for the first time to anyone what you would do to cope with the abuse.
"eventually i started to believe them. i started to believe the things they said about me. i thought i truly was an ugly, undeserving, piece of garbage," you turned to see spencer's eyes full of tears, mirroring your own. "i would self-harm because i believed them. each night after they were done with their own abuse, i felt so... frustrated. the only way i could get that frustration out was to do that. the scars are still there, taunting me of how weak i was to not just endure the pain," you finished.
you didn't even realize tears were streaming down your eyes until you noticed the few on spencer's cheek. he reached his hand up to wipe the tears on your face, ignoring that of his own.
"you aren't weak, y/n. you are unbelievably strong for getting through that. you have to know how amazing you are," he told you, demanding you to see you the way he saw you.
because the way he saw you, you were beyond perfect. you were so much stronger for going through that. if anything, knowing you went through that made him think you were that much more amazing.
and honestly, the way you were thinking is that when you told spencer, he might think less of you. he might think you were dumb for doing that to yourself, inflicting pain upon your own body to relieve yourself of pain.
that was anything but true.
"s-so you don't think any less of me?" you asked confused, looking into his eyes for any tells of his lying.
"absolutely not. if anything i think you're stronger now that i know what you've endured," he assured you, moving a stray piece of hair behind your ear as he moved even closer to you.
"thank you so much, spencer," you said as you lunged forward, your arms immediately pulling him closer around his neck into a hug.
"you don't need to thank me, y/n," he started as he rubbed circles in your back soothingly. "if it helps anything at all... i think your amazing. i always have, and i always will."
"spencer..." you pulled back and looked into his eyes. "just... i need to tell you one more thing."
"alright," he nodded, prompting you to continue.
"i uhm, i'm in love with you," you bit your lip in anticipation for his response.
he didn't say anything.
he couldn't say anything.
he wanted to say something, but he didn't know how.
he didn't even know if you actually said that, or if you were just a figment of his imagination.
because at this point, he felt so much more for you than love.
he was infatuated with you.
but you read it as rejection, so you quickly unhinged your arms from around his neck and retreated into a ball while on the couch.
"i-i'm sorry," you said after quickly realizing the reality of the situation.
he didn't feel the same.
"you d-don't need to say it back. i shouldn't have sprung that on you. i-i've just felt that way for so long, and i thought that maybe you did too, but i shouldn't have assumed anything. i'm so sorry," you looked at him, waiting for him to say anything. to admit anything.
"oh god, and i just spilled everything to you," you ran your hand through your hair.
silence.
"i think i need to go for a walk," you said, getting up from the couch and rushing out the door after grabbing your coat.
you opted for taking the stairs to run outside, being the quickest option.
spencer was speechless, still sitting on your couch, dumbfounded.
he was overwhelmed with emotions.
you loved him?
he couldn't believe that someone so smart, so beautiful, so kind, so funny, so... everything would ever love him.
and he was too late to say it back.
he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that you loved him, so he just sat there in awe of this revelation.
by the time he realized what you had said, and was ready to say it back, you were already out of the door and down the stairs.
you were walking all too fast with tears flooding your eyesight.
you had just lost the one person you loved the most. the one person who's always there for you. the only person you've felt a connection with. you lost your everything.
by the time spencer ran down the stairs in an attempt to chase you, you were nowhere to be found. he could always call your cell, but he wanted to admit his undying love and affection in person, not over some dumb cellular device.
you didn't know where you were going, just letting your feet take you wherever they pleased. it had been a bit cold and you had left everything at your place, so you began rubbing your arms in search for more friction.
you were walking around a corner when you were pulled into an alley by some random white guy. with a harsh hand on your arm, you whined out quietly from the sudden pain.
you didn't have your gun.
"money! NOW!" he demanded. you stayed there with tears in your eyes, too emotional to speak.
your wallet was back at the house.
"are you too dumb to speak? i said MONEY!" he said, pushing a gun you were now made aware of into your stomach.
"i-i don't have my wallet," you admitted with a shaky voice, tears now streaming down your face faster than before.
the night was supposed to be another night with spencer, watching your favorite show and being with your favorite person. you were supposed to be cuddled up on his couch, probably falling asleep in his arms by now.
and now you were being mugged and were probably going to get hurt in one way or another.
"and why is that, doll?" he pushed the gun further into your lower stomach .
"i-i was in a r-rush. i s-swear i d-don't have anyth-thing!" you stuttered, trying to convince him to let you go.
"too bad... you've already seen my face. let's hope you have a nice nap," he growled before pulling the trigger, a bullet running through your lower stomach.
spencer was near you when the bullet went off. he was walking home.
you didn't even realize it, but you were walking in the direction of your love's own home when you were ambushed.
he heard the gun go off.
he naturally ran into the alley with his gun raised, ready to fire at anyone fleeing the scene. he managed to take the guy down with a single bullet before realizing it was you who was shot.
he quickly grabbed his phone and dialed 911 and demanded an ambulance at the corner of 5th and maine, alerting them that an agent was down.
"Y/N!" he yelled, running to kneel beside your limp body. "please, no..." he pleaded.
he put his hand to your neck in an attempt to find any pulse. there was a weak one. there was that hope again. he pulled you onto his lap, your body now resting atop his.
"stay with me. i-i didn't get to tell you how i felt," he cried as he put pressure on where the blood was coming out.
"sp-spencer?" you asked, barely regaining consciousness.
"it's me, y/n. i'm here," he soothed, running a hand through your hair to move it from your face.
"i'm s-s-sorry," you choked out, feeling your eyelids become heavier by the second.
"no. don't apologize to me," he told you. "i should be apologizing."
"it's n-not... your... fault," you felt your breath coming slower, the weight on your chest becoming unbearable.
"i-if i would've just told you how i felt..." he began thinking about how horrible a mistake he had made.
sirens were nearing, hope was becoming greater. spencer clung to your body tighter than ever as if holding you closer to him would will your heart to beat stronger, even if it was for just a bit longer.
"i-i..." you took another uneven breath, reaching your hand up slowly to wipe a tear from his face. "lo-love..." another breath. "you," you finished, your hand cascading down from his face and falling limp onto spencer’s lap, now accepting your own fate as the ambulance was now right outside the alley.
there was a moment when spencer thought maybe you’d wake up. you’d come back to him. but once they loaded you into the ambulance he had to accept one thing.
he had lost his everything...
@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup
239 notes · View notes
sunshinebunnie · 2 years
Text
Riverdale Promptathon Fill
Tumblr media
An absolutely lovely Anon asked me for a "missing moment" fic from 'Twixt Moonlight and Morning as part of @riverdalepromptathon, and who am I to turn down such a nice ask??
This is the "drunk girls talk about boys" scene that was hinted at in the original story. 🤗🤗🤗
*~*~*~*
Veronica rested her head on Betty’s shoulder, staring wistfully at the last inch of wine in the bottle. Her eyes dropped to her empty glass before she glanced at Betty’s equally empty one: she’d gotten a little more generous with her pouring in the second bottle, but she wasn’t sure which one of them was ahead. There was a dry, cottony feeling inside her mouth, and she was pretty sure her taste buds had given up after her fourth glass of Malbec.
“Switch to white?” she said as she uncoiled herself from the couch to walk the short distance to her well-stocked wet bar.
There was a brief pause as Betty’s eyes found their way over to the sad-looking dark glass bottle. After a few drawn out seconds, Betty eventually came back with, “Sure, V. White works.” (Although for the briefest of moments, Veronica thought the word “white” and the word “works” had merged into the much less distinguishable “wh’w’rks.”) She grabbed the neck of the mostly empty bottle in a slightly more hamfisted way than she would’ve a bottle of wine earlier in the evening, but she didn’t knock it or either of their wine glasses over, so Veronica counted it as a win. Lifting the bottle to her lips, she took a deep drink of what was left of the Malbec as she crossed the small space from the couch to the wet bar, setting the glass down on the polished oak with a quiet thunk.
Bending her knees slightly, she reached down and opened the door to her wine fridge, blindly grabbing a chilled bottle off the second shelf. Pulling the bottle out, her brain somewhat belatedly recognized that she’d pulled out a Viognier as she gripped the neck of the bottle and gave the cap a firm twist, breaking the seal in the process. Within another couple of minutes, she had opened the wine and began to pour a healthy amount into a fresh glass for Betty. As the wine gently splashed against the inside of the glass, Veronica sighed. The sound caused Betty to slowly twist around to look at her over the back of the couch.
As she locked eyes with her best friend, a sudden wave of melancholy hit her, and she couldn’t stop herself before she said, “I still can’t believe Archie ran off to be a firefighter for the Forest Service. I mean, who doesn’t love the skiing in Jackson Hole, but seriously? Wyoming? The area he got stationed in doesn’t even have broadband!”
*~*~*~*~*
Curious to read more? Grab a glass of wine with Betty and Veronica right over HERE.
Haven't read 'Twixt Moonlight and Morning, but you're curious to learn more? Satisfy those late night urges in Fox Forrest right over HERE.
Curious to learn what all this library sexiness was about that was getting Betty all hot and bothered with Jughead? Take yourself over to the circulation desk right over HERE.
As always, comments/kudos/likes/reblogs/fic recs are always super, super, super appreciated!! 😊😊😊😊
27 notes · View notes
buckysbest · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
IT WAS GOOD UNTIL IT WASN'T
CHAPTER TWO: CAN I?
PAIRING: Steve Rogers x Reader
Series Warnings: NSFW TOPICS, Manipulative/Toxic tendencies, sad boi steve rogers, cheating, alcohol
Series Summary: Heartbreak follows her everywhere and Steve Rogers is nothing but the latest victim, at least thats what she thought? Now she can't shake the feeling of him no matter where she goes.
Word count: 1.8K
A/N: Hey lovelies! Sorry I haven't been posting much, I am have just had a lot going on the past few weeks. I absolutely adore all of you (@lookiamtrying im talking to you extra) and I cant wait to see what you guys think!
ps sorry for any typos lol I really wanted to give you guys something today
Series Masterlist coming soon // Masterlist Coming soon
You could pretend you weren't petty and you could pretend he didn't have your blood boiling, but you knew you’d only be lying to yourself. At the sound of her voice, your stomach had dropped practically through the pavement and you were pissed.
Your “vacation” in Miami now officially cut short as you found yourself leaning back into your increasingly uncomfortable plane seat. You drummed your nails on the back of your phone as you began to actually consider the consequences that would follow the impulse purchase of your ticket.
You knew you shouldn't go back. You knew what kind of message this sent.
It practically screamed your need for attention from your boy in red, white, and blue while also displaying the jealousy you couldn't quite push down for all yo see
But you just couldn't help yourself.
If he was going to disrupt your plans this heavily, the least you could do is return the favor.
The sun was just rising over the wing of the aircraft as the flight attendants made their final rounds and speeches to the nearly empty plane. The pounding headache from your night of partying was only worsened as the roar of the engines seemed to get louder and louder. In an attempt to mitigate the pain, you pushed the power button on your phone and shoved it into the seat pocket beside you. Your head found the back of the seat with a small groan as your frustration with yourself only grew.
In need of some peace, you let your tired and heavy eyes drape shut. Much to your dismay, they only provided a screen for the tortuous highlight reel of his hands on your body to play upon.
This was going to be a long flight.
---
__
As the wheels of the plane finally landed, you quickly gathered your limited belongings and headed straight for the exit. Your rushed departure from Miami couldn't have been more obvious to the other passengers and pedestrians around you. The early morning business class was filled mostly with people in professional wear which provided a stark contrast to your, albeit, slutty and glittering minidress.
Your heels echoed throughout the airport with each step toward the exit of the building, disrupting the stillness of the morning. As you finally crossed the threshold into the fresh air, your driver waved you down excitedly. The pain in your head worsened once again as your agitation grew and you slid on your sunglasses with an eye roll.
“Miss. Y/N, it is really so lovely to see you, we all missed you so much! Your father was incredibly excited that you decided to come home early!”
As you walked further from the building, he rushed around you, gathering your belongings from you as he continued to sprinkle you with unnecessary compliments.
“Mhm, yeah, Thomas, that's really lovely- truly, do you mind though, can we just skip home and just go to the penthouse please?”
The request surprised him a bit, probably because your father prepared him for a different sight exiting the airport. Instead of a burnt out party-girl chomping at the bit for the comforts of home, he was met with a hungover and irritable heiress already smothered over her newly acquired lack of freedom.
The serenity of the ride into the city allowed you a moment of reflection as hints of guilt began to pool in the bottom of your stomach. While your attitude didn't completely improve, you did feel bad for the way you had spoken to Thomas because in all fairness, the limo was far warmer and comforting than the unwelcoming New York air and you knew he was simply doing his job.
The tension in the vehicle seemed to diffuse a little as you got closer to your apartment. Your eyes and energy had rather refocused on the real reason for your return as you turned to your phone, staring at the messages Steve had left you.
3:15 (We’ll talk in the morning, ok?)
3:20 (Sweetheart, look, if it's really important, I can stay up for a bit longer)
4:00 (did you at least get home safe?)
5:00 (doll, you're making me nervous, please just let me know your safe)
You bit your lip in concentration but your eyes were drawn away from your phone before you could craft a response as the car found itself coming to a slow stop. Thomas made his way to your door, opening it and offering you a hand as you stepped out and took in the building. After the all-too-long ride up the elevator, your mind was settled as you entered your top floor home. It was just how you had left it two months ago and it felt good to be back.
“Just a moment thomas, I just need to get changed”
Thomas awkwardly dismissed himself back to the car as you walked into your bedroom and subsequent closet. You paused under your closet archway briefly to finally type the response you had been thinking over.
8:00 am ( can I come over? or do you have company)
Your nails met your lips as you nervously awaited his response.
8:00 am (wait what? are you home already?)
8:00 am (you know you can come over anytime )
A smile grew on your lips at his timely response. Your hands rummaged through the variety of drawers lining the walls of your wardrobe before stopping to feel the lace of a white set of lingerie you knew he couldn't resist. Sliding it on, your eyes gel onto the perfect outfit for your intended purposes.
The black velvet top and matching skirt hugged your body in a way that should be illegal while your diamond-studded pumps found their way onto the floor replaced by equally stunning white pumps. They rubbed slightly on the blisters you had acquired in the past week as you quickly made your way back out the door after grabbing your handbag from the couch.
‘He lived right down the street’ you repeated to yourself as traffic dragged what should have been a five minute ride into a fifteen minute endeavor.
The anticipation of being reunited began to expose itself as your skin began to glisten and an excited glow rose onto your face. Before Thomas could even put the car fully in park, you had already opened the door, saying a quick don't wait up before slamming the door shut.
Your legs couldn't seem to move quick enough as you walked through the hallways until you reached his door. Your heels must have given your arrival away because before your knuckles could even knock on the door, he swung it open and pulled you into a tight embrace.
“I am so glad you're safe”
His warm breath tickled your neck as he mumbled the soft words into your hair. A small smile found its way onto your face at the notion before you raised yourself onto your tippy toes, whispering back an “I missed you”.
You could feel the silence and comfort in everyone of your muscles as they relaxed into the man you knew all too well. You turned around, stepping into the threshold of his home without breaking the strong grip that he still had on you. Taking the small note, he released you slightly, pulling his large frame through the door as well before he shut it gently. His eyes softened as they met yours for the first time in two months.
“What are you doing home?” A small smile raised onto his face as you took another step into him, laying your head on his chest.
“I already told you, I missed you,” you replied as his hands that laid respectfully on your lower back were lowered by your own mischievous hands. You placed a soft kiss beneath his ear, “Did you miss me too Cap?”
A small groan left his mouth at the nickname and you knew you were close to getting what you wanted.
You lead his hands once again lower, this time to the bottom of your skirt, prompting him to slide it up a bit. Your hands finally left his as you reached them up around his neck and leaned in.
His lips met yours halfway in a movement that could only be described as desperate.
The slow and agonizing pace that he had tried to set for you was now gone as he patted your thighs and you jumped. He carried you to his bedroom, tossing you onto the bed and crawling on top of you.
His mouth then began to make its way down the side of your neck, eliciting a loud moan from your painted lips. A satisfied smirk momentarily appeared on his face as he lifted his eyes to meet yours. They seemed to search your eyes for a moment before they broke away from yours with a small frown. His hovering form came down as he placed his head on your chest with a groan.
“What's wrong cap?” you joked slightly as you ran your hands through his hair.
“Steve?”
“I can’t do this doll.” His sweet eyes raised to meet yours and you could immediately tell they were filled to the brim with guilt.
“Of course you can Ste-”
“You don’t understand y/n,” he said with a deep sigh before pulling himself further back and standing up. He began to pace slightly as he continued with a frustrated groan, “I- fuck- “
Your eyes widened at the uncharacteristic language and behavior of your golden boy as his eyes met yours once again. “I-I finally found someone who will give me what you cant y/n.” He paused momentarily, as if being hit by the recoil of the gun he had just fired into your heart. “She, She really sees a future with me doll and, and I-I can't just throw that all away for nothing” he says. His words and his eyes were laced with propositions and it really appears like he's trying to convince himself more than you.
Nonetheless, your heart dropped to your stomach and you could feel tears threatening to brim at your eyes. “Nothing? Am I nothing to you Steve?”
“Oh- of course no- I didn't mean it like that,” he sighed as he quickly walked back over to you.
You extended an arm out before pulling him back onto the bed and flipping him over. Straddling his hips, you leaned down and laid into his chest. His arms once again found their way around you, if only because of muscle memory. You held this embrace for a moment before sighing out your own proposition.
“I’ll go Steve… I’ll go and leave forever if you really want…. Just tell me..” You leaned your head up slightly to meet his ear and whispered,
“Is that what you really want?”
29 notes · View notes
Text
Lovely Writer Episode 7 - analysis
This week's episode was - comparing to the others - rather calm and just about Nubsib and Gene. All the other side characters had no screen time at all and I was missing them a bit but at the same time I somehow wasn't... The flashbacks could've been a bit shorter though.
Nubsib
At least, we finally understood him and he wasn't faking anything. Six whole episodes of waiting until he will be real was long enough.
So, apparently Nubsib was hit, abused and unloved as a child. Well, it explains at least why he's so drawn to Gene who was the opposite of all these three things. He protected him from the stick, he believed him when he told him about the piano teacher and played with him out of his own will, not because he was forced to. As a child, it must've meant a lot to Nubsib. It wasn't romantic love back then, not even the closest, but for Nubsib their friendship was precious and very important. He had someone who cared.
Nubsib asked me to use your aunt's surname because his father doesn't support him.
These years alone must've been very lonely and since Nubsib's family wasn't very nice to him and his dad didn't like the path he chose for living, he had to escape his own family alone. He had to face all of this alone without Gene by his side. But it was all worth it because he would see Gene again. Isn't this romantic?
It would be romantic if Nubsib wouldn't be so selfish and manipulative. He held on to this memory that was becoming a fantasy and did everything to make it turn into reality no matter what, and that's pretty selfish.
But you can tell Nubsib only behaved the way he did these past episodes to earn Gene's trust and love again. He is so desperate to be liked by him, he even pretended to be someone else. Gene means so much to him, he is ready to lie, pretend and manipulate. But behaving like he did as a child (at least a bit) means a lot of energy for him, I guess, because he outlived some stuff and changed a lot since then. It must've been hard to pretend all the time...
Gene
In the flashbacks we saw Gene being as antisocial as he his right now. He lives so much in his head, he doesn't understand when people tell him to let others into his world because it doesn't make sense for him. It's the same we saw last episode when he was storming out because of his rage. I believe he regretted it as soon as he closed the door but blinded by his anger he just wanted to get away because he was disappointed and hurt. He shut the door to the outside and Nubsib couldn't get through to him even if he tried which got pretty clear when he wanted to touch Gene's face but Gene turned away last minute. He shut the world out and it's something he always did and will always do. Nubsib just has to find a way to stop him and in some way save him from getting lost in thoughts. We saw that before and now in the flashbacks.
Everyone can tell the parallels between the scene when he was drunk in the car and the one in the flashbacks when he was playing with the plushies. When he plays with toys, the story happens in his own head and he doesn't let people in to see the things he does. When he's in the car, he does exactly the same and Nubsib recognizes this strong character trait of him, that's why this scene was so quiet and sweet because Nubsib found his Gene again. He saw something from the younger version of Gene in his very adult self.
Tumblr media
They make up
Gene is still mad and pushes Nubsib away but nevertheless, he's listening when Nubsib doesn't go anywhere. Because Nubib has his mission now and won't let it fail. We saw in the flashbacks, he waited until late in the evening being sad about Gene not showing up. He knows now, Gene would rather be sad and regret it all his life than looking for him to explain why he acted the way he did. And as a child, Nubsib didn't get it but now he does and he knows he has to reach out first and if not through phone calls, then he needs to show up in person.
Like I said, Gene lives in his head and somehow wouldn't ever get the idea of being the first one to reach out and apologize because he's so damn antisocial.
Don't pretend to be a good kid. Just say whatever's on your mind.
What I liked a lot in this scene was when Gene says Nubsib should be real if he wants Gene to like him. I don't think it's just because he scond-guessed all their conversations but because he always had an odd feeling about Nubsib not being completely real and honest. Nubsib was always weird and Gene felt that too. But of course, he's mainly calling Nubsib out because of all the drama before.
And also, it is not right to start a relationship based on lies. You are not that low and Gene stands up for himself. He doesn't accept it, now that he knows about it and he makes sure Nubsib will remember, lying and manipulating is not romantic or something that will be forgotten quickly. Nubsib has to work a bit to earn Gene's trust again. Gene's speaking up and I love it.
privacy
After the weird dog metaphor that was somehow romantic, the ending of this episode was very calm and pure.
And like in episode 4, I had the feeling of watching something I was not supposed to watch. It felt very private what they were doing - or I should just say what Nubsib was doing.
Do you know? Since you left, I've been very lonely. Now that we can be together again, don't disappear again.
The way Nubsib tucked Gene in and touched his face softly was so caring, calm and pure, my fangirly heart was dying. But apart from it, it was nice to see them being a couple - or like a couple because they haven't made that clear yet.
Also, the lighting in this scene is important too. When Gene was alone and uninspired because his thoughts were spinning around his fallout with Nubsib, the sky was cloudy and it didn't look very warm nor bright outside but now, they sort things out and the bed room is flooded with bright sunshine. Everythig is positive and happy now and sunlight also represents peace.
flashbacks
Even though the part with the flashbacks was pretty long, it was not like nothing was explained through them but I agree there were some parts that were boring.
I saw some people saying the flashbacks felt weird and I totally agree and I don't know if I see this whole show as it's supposed to be seen but I always see it as some sort of parody. I believe the drama last week which was out of character and out of the blue was in fact something the writers made fun about because such sensless drama always happens in BLs and suddenly the drama becomes big and one of them even storms out to escape the scenery. It was so over-the-top dramatc, I believe that was the point. This is just a cliché. Just like the quick make up. I don't know how much time has passed but I believe it was a day or something and Nubsib shows up and things are suddenly okay. People were saying their kiss was too early and I feel like this too but again, if they are resolving the stupid drama then at least with a kiss, right? Because it's the absolute cliché.
The "childhood friends" trope is nothing I am against but I find it weird to romaticize such a friendship when they are like 6 or something. Here, Nubsib was even younger, so it makes no sense for their friendship to be romaticized because as a 4-year-old (or something), you don't feeel such things. You can't, or at least you don't understand it at all. And I guess, the writers also wanted to make fun of this trope being so romanticized when they were too young to understand the feeling and act on it. The flashbacks felt even weirder when the cheek kiss was cut and when they went to sleep in a close hug.
Tumblr media
I think the director does a good job for portaying weirdness as awkward and private matters as uncomfortable for the audience as it is.
preview
It seems like we'll see the side characters again but Aey won't be nice at all.
Aey is such a troubled person who should protect his heart more because if you wear it on your sleeve all the time, people will be quicker in breaking it. And it's not like he didn't know Nubsib doesn't like him that way. I don't know what to think of him.
And the fanservice will become an even bigger problem. I wonder if Gene can handle it even though Nubsib is now clearly his but I guess, Gene will assume stuff again. Trouble is gonna be big guys.
But to comfort you - Gene being a mood:
Tumblr media
12 notes · View notes
julies-butterflies · 3 years
Note
Honestly, your writing reminds me a lot of the buffyverse. Just the perfect balance of humor and sadness and romance and heart that just feels like a vivid window into the world you've created.
God the Body...the best forty minutes of television I may never watch again. I've rewatched Willow and Tara's kiss (because I'll adore them forever), but just...the weight of it. It took me a full month to work up the nerve to watch the episode, to be ready to cry that much.
What you said about not wanting people to suffer, because of your work...It's never once felt like that for me. And I've cried a LOT while reading your work. I'll try to explain it the best I can
Grief can be so isolating, and disorienting. Your world goes topsey-turvey, supports you took for granted go flying into the abyss and suddenly it's a minefield of those glass shards. And no one's grief is identical. No two circumstances are the same. It's not possible for anyone else to know exactly how you feel, because no two hearts break alike.
Sometimes, it's because people just don't understand. Sometime's it's because they no longer want to. But some days, that feeling of aloneness can be crushing.
Then one night, I stumbled upon Let These Shadows Fall Away Like Dust. That one hit me way harder than I was ever expecting. The question of how to grieve the living, the dilemma on when forgiveness is deserved...Alex's anger, his devestation, the rawness of it all....That's my broken glass. Those are concepts I've been struggling for over a year. I'm still picking up pieces every day.
I sobbed, because it was such a relief. To see the feelings that had been scrambled up in my mind just reflected there, on my screen. The reminder I had desperately needed, that I was not alone. That even though my circumstances were different, I was not the only one trying to unravel those messy emotions.
Then again, I also read your deathfic for fun, so maybe I'm not the best judge of this. I tend to like angst. I tend to get a lot of "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT THAT SAD" in group chats :D
Please don't feel any pressure to respond to me quickly or anything. I never mind the wait. I'm so sorry for the rough times. Wishing that you and your family gets whatever you need to help ease your storm. Sending love and support as well.
(sorry for all the metaphors. I'm super sleepy and apparently, I resort to purple prose when tired lol)
I know exactly what you mean about Emily. I understand why people don't like her, but I just love to see her written as such a grey character. It's just so much more powerful when the love is so clearly there.
I mean, that's what a tragedy is, really. Love cut short. Grieving a future that could have been everything, if fate had not been cruel. I don't know if you know musical theater, but I like to think about the Barber and His Wife, from Sweeney Todd: the whole tragedy of that show, is that they were happy all together, and then permanently broken. How their paths keep crossing, but they never connect to heal. Never lost, but never found.
And that's the tragedy of Luke and Emily: too stubborn and too late. You find that grey area, the messiness so well, and just bring it all out so wonderfully. You do the same with Bobby/Trevor, ESPECIALLY in the horror and the wild. God, that absolutely devestated me. I'm not a big fan of horror in general, and I haven't explored the genre that much but...if all horror is like yours then DAMN, I might just have to become a fan.
This got super long (lol) so I'll wrap it up now but! THE SIC FIC QUEENS TOGETHER???? When I tell you I lost it.... all too well Bobby and what you've lost reggie in the same story are killing me. I am hooked and incredibly hyped. Loved both updates so far, and cannot wait to see where the story goes!
Oh yeah and I forget: I have to ask, do you have a fan cast of the one, the only, the incredible Keith Richards? (and that goblin is so cute!!! I really want to pet the blood thirsty monster. So badly)
Love, your totally-not-undead-pen-pal, :D
-Vampire Anon
Know musicals? Vampire Anon my beloved, I am a musical theatre bitch. Take a look at my high school graduation cap! (Anastasia is my favorite musical... something about the themes of home, love, and family, the idea of always finding a place in the world even after enduring incredible hardship, that anything is survivable with faith and love in your heart... I'm also a Romanov history bitch, and Christy Altomare is such an incredible talent and human being.) Literally, talk to me about musicals anytime!
And yeah, I definitely see your metaphor... the tragedy of The Barber and his Wife was how close they came to each other throughout the whole show, existing within reach the entire time, after being separated for so long. But it wasn't the same; it never could be. Time and trauma had changed them both into something unrecognizeable, and when they came face-to-face, they could only hurt each other. At a certain point, the ghosts of your past are meant to stay ghosts. Sure, you might want them back more than anything --- but what would it mean? What would you truly be getting back?
Luke's "back", of course, and he comes home to visit his parents multiple times... but they're not the same people he left. They're older, greyer, changed by grief... while he's just the same. A snapshot forever frozen in time, a memory crystalized in amber. You can't hold memories in your hands. You can't pull them close and refuse to let them go. Eventually, they'll slip away... and to Mitch and Emily, a memory is all their son is, now. That's what's so heartrending about the situation we see in the show, especially --- so much love still exists between all of them, but it has no place to go.
Okay, sorry, it's 3am here and I'm rambling too, haha --- mentioning musical theatre was a mistake.
I'm so glad my stories have been able to connect with you, especially 'shadows' --- that one resonated with a lot of people, more than I ever realized it would. It's not the most personal story to me... but definitely one that needed to be told, and the emotion in it... hits home for a lot of people. It means so much to me knowing that story, and Alex's internal struggle, has made people feel less alone.
I think I'm going to have a hard time looking back on that one, though. We were staying at my aunt's house for the weekend where I wrote most of it; I read a few excerpts to her, and she said she liked it. She was always interested in my writing... I kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to share more of it with her.
Like you said. Grief's a funny thing. Disorienting, relentless, and crushing.
Please just remember, though --- whatever you're dealing with, you're not alone. You don't have to cut yourself on those broken pieces... one day, you'll wake up, and realize you feel whole again. It will never feel the same, and the pain will always be there... but healing around it is what makes us stronger. You don't owe anyone your forgiveness; it's okay to grieve when you've lost something, regardless of whether death has taken them from you. Grief doesn't have to be earned, it simply has to be felt.
You'll be stronger for it, in the end. I'm sorry you've been hurting so much.
Anyways! Oh gosh! On to lighter, happier topics! Please tell me...
What are your favorite fics? (Like, my fics, obviously, which fics of mine do you just go gaga over? Please praise me or else my ego will shrivel like a worm on hot pavement.) No, okay, I'm kidding --- what are your top fics for this fandom? Like, what are the ones that really resonate with you, that you could read over and over? The JATP fandom has so many greats, but I'm always drawn back to Some Killer Queen You Are by pearlcaddy (buffyverse meets jatp!! iconic!!), Lantern's Light by thefairhero (literally the SOFTEST reggie), the sky's not empty tonight by firefall (just... devastating and beautiful in a dozen ways), and literally anything by foundfamilyvevo.
How long have you been in the JATP fandom? Who are your favorite characters? What's your favorite JATP song?
And finally, most importantly... what are your favorite musicals?
(also... since u asked... behold keith richards and tremble)
5 notes · View notes
ivory-sunflower · 3 years
Text
Arty Art Things ✨
Hellooo!
I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!
Conchúr White
Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha
The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
TechDif
So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!
Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere. 
The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless. 
I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.
Tumblr media
Hozier
This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The Corpse Bry
I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.
Tumblr media
James Bagshaw
Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Alice in “Wonderland”
This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!
Tumblr media
So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕
~ Love Ginger xx 
29/11/2020
26 notes · View notes