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sweatervest-obsessed · 5 months

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Never Gone

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

WC: 3.8k

TW: S4 Stranger Things triggers, drams, blood, injuries, migraines, Swearing

A/N: Based off of this request. I had a lot of fun writing this request! Thank you so much for asking me to write it. I haven't written Steve in a hot minute, so that was really nice to revisit him <3

When Steve heard that you had headaches, he almost didn't think anything of it---keyword is almost.

You had always been one to get migraines, and this was exactly that time of month anyways. First of the month, migraine. It was like clock work.

Which was ironic to you considering it felt like ticking was nonstop in your head the past week.

Luckily for you, it was a Saturday, and you could stay in bed. You hadn't been scheduled at the library, and your dad was running around, chauffeuring your sister, so the house was empty and you could die slowly in your bed from your headache.

Steve didn't even knock, he just slid the window up, and crawled through to your bed.

"Hey gorgeous."

You hummed a response as he took his shoes off and slid into your bed. He was dressed in his yellow sweater and sweatpants. He knew he was coming over to lay in bed with you all day, and nothing else.

When he wrapped his arms around you, you moved in closer to him, your face against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat was calming---sometimes it felt like it was melting the headache away.

"How's your head baby?" His voice was soft and low, as he ran his hand up and down your back.

"Feels like it's pulsing my brains out of my ears, so nothing new."

He placed his lips on your forehead.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, listening to one another's heartbeats, just enjoying each other's company.

“Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“How’s Max doing?” You whispered to him.

He tensed up a little bit. It’s not that he wasn’t thinking about the red headed girl down in the Wheeler’s basement, it’s just that you didn’t exactly know what was going on with the kids he ‘babysat’, and he didn’t want you to find out either.

“She’s–uh, She’s been better. She’s still, uh, sick. Really bad head…..” His voice trailed off as he stared down at you.

You gently called his name as he trailed off into thought.

His eyes widened as his heart started to beat a little faster. This was just your usual monthly migraine right? You always got these—there was nothing out of the ordinary….right? Were you hearing ticking? Were you having nightmares? What if you—-

“Steve?”

His eyes were wide, and you could feel how shallow his breathing was. “Hey–hey, I’m sorry I brought her up.”

He shook his head and looked down at you. “How’s your headache?”

You shrugged and slid your hand up to cup his cheek. Your thumb ran gently across his face, looking into his eyes to see if you could find anything wrong.

“I wish you’d stop ignoring me and answer.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and paused. “Steve I did…”

“No.” He huffed and pulled away. “All you did was shrug. That’s not a real answer.”

“Steve.”

He sat up and moved away from the bed. “I shouldn’t have come here today. I have so much shit do today other than to sit in bed with you while you bitch and moan about your head.”

Steve had shocked you into silence as your eyes began to well with tears.

“Oh great. And now you’re crying. Did you ever realize how fucking annoying it is to constantly have to cheer you up all the time. Don’t you think I have other things going on in my life that need me more than you do when you’re sobbing about fucking anything.”

“What the actual fuck steve.”

Steve was sliding on his shoes. “You know what, y/n? I don’t need this bullshit. I don’t need your bullshit.”

“Wait—”

“No Y/n. Wake up.”

You froze and frowned. “What?”

“Y/N!”

Your eyes shot open and you were suddenly back to your position where you had been previously, laying down, tucked securely in Steve Harrington’s loving embrace.

“I–” You went to speak but you noticed Steve’s eyes were suddenly filled with that worry from before, but there was something else starting to cloud over—fear.

“What did you see?”

“What?”

“What. Did. You. See.”

“Fucking pushy harrington.” You grumbled as you pulled away slightly.

“Y/n…”

Your eyes rolled as you looked up at him. “It was just a daydream Steve. A bad one. W—We were, uh, arguing.”

“About?”

You shook your head. “Nothing Steve, really. Just something stupid my brain made up.”

“I–.” Steve bit his lip and sat up. “I need to make a call real quick.” He was out of your bed before you realized what was happening, and was suddenly across the room at your desk where your phone was. He picked it up and quickly dialed a number. All the while, you were sitting up on your elbows, watching him. Your headache was not going away which wasn’t uncommon, but rarely did they stay this bad for this long.

Steve was muttering into the phone, clutching it really tightly. Every now and again, he’d look over at you. You’d furrow your brow and he would seem to get even more worried than before. You had caught some of the words, like Max and No Absolutely Not, no I’m serious Dustin it’s not happening.

You were beyond confused as to why Steve was talking to the kid he babysat, or why he even called him in the first place, but all you knew was that your head hurt, and Steve, who was usually your rock, was getting all jumpy and acting really fucking weird.

Once he hung up the phone he gave you a sheepish smile. “So, uh…”

“What’s going on Steve?”

“We’re taking a field trip.”

You snorted laid back down, not entertaining this anymore.

“I’m serious Y/n.”

“I think you’re delusional but okay.”

“Please.”

You sat up once more and looked at him. Something about the concern he felt about your little maladaptive daydream, made you slightly worried about your headache. But he loved you, and if it would make him feel better about it, you’d humor his worry.

“Fine. But we’re stopping by the diner and we’re getting food and shakes before we go where we’re going because I want something to eat.”

“Okay but, we really don’t—”

“No Steve. That’s my final offer. Either I get my milkshake, or I’m staying in this bed.”

He huffed from across the room, but walked over and sat down next to you on the bed, taking your hand. “Fine. If it will get you out of bed.” He was feigning annoyance, but you could see the mild relief in his eyes at you agreeing to indulge his anxieties, with little to know explanation from him.

—-------------------------------------------------------

“Seriously Steve?”

“Please, just…”

“Just what? You bring me to the Wheeler’s basement, filled with a bunch of children, including your ex-girlfriend and my former best friend, all the while knowing I have a raging migraine happening, and then you expect me to not ask any questions.”

“Well–”

“No Steve. Seriously. Then you go and try to tell me that you’re going out with a really weird group of people, no offense guys.” You didn’t even glance at the group staring at you both. “To go what…traversing into the woods to look for someone who has serial killer allegations, and you want me to come with you, with not a single explanation as to why.”

“He’s not a serial killer–” Dustin tried to cut in but you shot him a glare.

“If you heard me Henderson, I said allegations. Might want to turn on those listening ears.” You turned back to Steve. “Tell me what’s going on, or I’m just going home Steve. I’m seriously not in the mood to deal with this.”

Steve was just looking at you, alongside the rest of the group. This felt so out of character for you to be so openly bitchy in front of people, and you had never had an issue with Nancy before. You’ve actually always really liked Nancy so why now?

“Y/N. Please…”

You scoffed and shook your head. “Drive me home or I’m walking.”

“You can’t be serious right now.”

You didn’t even dignify that with a response, you just turned around and walked right up the stairs. Steve, who was just as exasperated as you, looked between his friends and they all were unsure what to do. It’s not like they wanted to drag someone else into their messy world, but they didn’t want you to die just like the rest of those poor high schoolers.

When they all heard the front door slam shut, Steve jumped at the sound and then quickly ran up the stairs and followed.

Y/n

You could hear as Steve called your name, but you kept on walking. You were so in your own world, you completely missed where you were walking. You fell and hit the ground hard. When you looked at your hands, they were covered in dirt and grime, which was unexpected for Mr. Wheeler’s lawn, but you didn’t think anything of it until you looked back up and the sky was red. You heard your name again but it wasn’t Steve’s voice, it was grovelley and at least four octaves deeper. Yet you still called out for Steve anyway, hoping he might be there.

Why would he chase after you? He doesn't care about you.

You looked up at the..thing…in front of you and shook your head, trying to escape whatever hellscape your mind conjured up.

But the voice wouldn’t leave you alone. It said your name again, and you got up off the ground, taking off. You didn’t dare to look behind you as you ran through this wasteland. Your heart was beating irregularly fast and you went and hid behind a building, trying not to breathe heavily as tears slid down your cheeks. When you looked around you realized you were close to Steve’s neighborhood. It was some sort of fucked up version of Hawkins.

You really think I can’t find you Y/n?

You whipped around, coming face to face with one of the grossest things you could possibly imagine. It was like all of his flesh had been burned off and the skin that grew back, grew back like vines, twisting flesh and muscle. His eyes were the scariest part, since they looked right at you, as if you were a piece of meat.

You slowly backed away from whatever this thing was, but your heel caught the curb, and down you went—landing hard on back, your head hitting the ground. There was definitely going to be bruising afterwards. You landed on your wrist, causing you to scream out in pain.

Whenever you were little and had sleepovers with your friends, your favorite game was “Never Have I Ever”. It’s not that you were boring, you actually enjoyed showing off how much you had done as you got older. But your starter was always “Never have I ever broken a bone”. Not anymore.

The crack was audible.

“Y/n!”

Your eyes opened and you were on the ground in front of the Wheeler’s—your wrist bruised, and head pounding. Steve was crouched in front of you, one of his hands on your cheeks and nothing but pure fear in his eyes.

“Holy shit.” He whispered, yanking you into his chest and holding you tightly. He felt you start to shake as you silently cried into his shirt, overwhelmed by the pain you felt and by what you had seen.

“Shit shit shit.” Steve’s hand was fisted in your shirt and his hand in your hair.

Your head was on his shoulder, and as you opened your eyes, you made eye contact with Max. Her walkman was in her hands, as if she was ready to shove it at someone. Max didn’t look like everyone else in the group, she seemed sadder, more resigned. Something you felt you could resonate with.

You couldn;t see them, but you knew the group of kids on the other side of Steve were whispering to one another. Dustin cleared his throat.

“Why don’t we go back inside, yeah? We need to look at her wrist.”

Steve muttered something in agreement, and pulled back slightly, both hands still holding onto you. “Are you okay?”

“My wrist.” you whispered, flinching just thinking about it. You decided you’d tell Steve about what you saw later. Right now, you really wanted to wrap your wrist up, and lay down.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Steve, you've got to be joking.”

Usually when Steve would huff out of frustration, you’d find it cute and endearing, but right now you found it annoying.

“Why would I lie to you about this?”

“I-I don’t know but I think you’re hanging out with kids too much—no offense.”

The kids muttered various forms of protest and agreements, but it was Robin who spoke up next.

“You have no idea how much I wish he was lying—like when I first found out it was in a secret russian base and I honestly didn’t even know what was happening and then we got tortured and—all that to say–it’s real.”

“Is this the shit Eddie was telling me about? The new strain or whatever, that ‘hits different’. Are you giving kids drugs Steve?”

Steve let out a groan and dragged a hand down his face. “I can’t.”

You crossed your arms, which was a bit more difficult considering your arm was wrapped up tightly with gauze, and fitted in one of Mike’s old wrist braces. “You have to hear yourselves right? Think about it from my point of view. You’re telling me you're friends with this…girl, who has telekinetic powers, and that's the reason that Byers kid went missing, and then you’ve fought different otherworldly monsters each year since? And now, you’re fighting this Veneca, Vatican, whatever bullshit guy, who is actually murdering people and the town drug dealer is taking the fall for it?”

Everyone in the basement was silent.

“She’s got a point, we sound fucking crazy.” Max was the first to speak up.

“Language.” Steve muttered. He hadn’t taken his eyes off you the whole time you’ve been down here. He was watching you as if you’d disappear.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. You all sound crazy.”

Steve looked over at Robin, and they had one of those really annoying silent conversations. You looked between the two, trying to figure out whatever they were thinking.

Just then, Robin got up from her seat. “Alright kids, let’s head upstairs for a moment. Give these two some time to figure this shit out. “

The collective of children groaned, but Nancy helped to corral them, giving you a sympathetic smile as she went up the stairs behind the gaggle, closing the door softly.

Steve had moved to sit down next to you, pulling you down so your head was in his lap. And before you could make a snarky comment about it, his hand was in your hair, playing with it, but also massaging your head. His other arm rests across your stomach with his hand on your hip, rubbing his thumb up and down soothingly.

The two of you stayed like this for a couple of minutes: you were destressing, and him reassuring himself that you were alive and in front of him. He was humming your favorite song under his breath, causing you to smile a bit.

“I know it sounds crazy, but I swear it’s true.”

“I want to believe you Steve but…”

He sighed and nodded. “Remember last summer?”

You closed your eyes and nodded slightly, images of Steve’s face and body flashed across your mind. His entire face was bruised, and his torso…you didn’t like to think about it. You draped your arm across his and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. “How could I forget Steve. You looked like you were beaten to death.”

“It was from the Russians Dustin was talking about.”

You frowned and looked up at him. “Steve….”

“Look, you don’t have to think it’s real, you can call me fucking crazy for all I care, but I really just need you to trust me—humor me if you have to. But I can’t….I can’t lose you y/n. So please just…indulge me and….”

“Does it really mean this much to you?”

Steve nodded. “Please.”

“Alright baby. What do you need me to do? “

_____________________________________________________

You didn’t see Steve for the next forty-eight hours, and it worried the shit out of you.

You were not one to believe in all that bullshit story Dustin and the others were trying to tell you about, but you knew something was wrong since Steve had literally disappeared.

You were still having headaches, but you listened to your favorite song over and over and over again, as much as you could. Luckily for you, you had a few blank cassette tapes, and a new stereo that held up to four cassettes. So you loaded your favorite song on a loop onto three of them, and then your favorite album onto the fourth, to add some variety. And you had been playing those on repeat for the past two days, just like Steve had told you to. When he didn’t show up the next day like he promised, you grabbed your walkman and your stereo, and drove over to Steve’s house, just to find it empty.

So you stayed there for the next twenty four hours, and that’s when the earthquake hit. It was terrifying, waking up and watching as everything went crashing to the ground. All you could do was think about your parents, think about Steve.

It wasn’t until eleven pm when you heard the front door open. You had been sitting on the couch, wrapped up in one of Steve’s sweaters, near the fireplace since the power had gone out because of the earthquake. He looked up at you, and you swore you could commit murder at the sight of him.

“Oh my god Steve. What the fuck happened to you.” You were by his side before he could even respond. Your fingers gently flit around his face, taking in all of the scraps, and then moving to his neck, where you could see the angry red skin flowering with bruises underneath.

Steve loved you for so many reasons, but right now, he loved you the most for not asking questions. You didn’t ask him about the weird combat outfit. You didn’t ask him why he was covered in dirt. You didn’t ask him why his neck looked like barbed wire had been around it, and you didn’t ask about the fact that he was limping.

You just slowly cupped his face in your hands, and kissed him softly. There wasn't any sort of push to make this kiss more than it was. It was just simply to tell him you love him. A reminder he’s with you.

“Can you make it up the stairs?”

He nodded and you took his hand, taking into account how bruised and scraped up his hands were.

“I was so worried about you. They kept finding bodies and then….the…”

He nodded, still not speaking. If he opened his mouth he would start sobbing, and never stop, and he didn’t want to burden you with that just yet.

You opened the bathroom door in his parents room, and walked him inside. You both were smart enough to make him take his shoes off before making your way upstairs, one less thing to clean up. But you made him sit on the toilet, as you slowly took a look at his injuries in a better light. You slowly helped him out of his jacket, noticing that it took a lot more effort than usual, since he was wincing, and even hissed out in pain during one particularly sharp movement.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Harrington, I’m seriously not in the mood for how you downplay everything.”

He bit his lip and shook his head. “I’ll be in bed in a few minutes. Why don’t you go get ready.”

You raked your eyes over him, not enjoying the sheer amount of blood splatter on his clothes and shook your head. “No I’m—”

“Please.”

When his voice cracked, you caved. You leaned over and kissed his forehead. “If you need me for anything Steve, and I mean anything ... .Please call for me.”

He nodded and took your hand in his. “I’ll be five minutes max I swear.”

You whispered an okay to him before you left him alone in the bathroom, heading back downstairs. You grabbed the bottle of vodka from the cabinet along with some of the cranberry juice Steve had bought you at the beginning of the week, and then a bag of his favorite chips, and headed back upstairs. You had a gut feeling he hadn’t eaten in a while, and that he was in a lot of pain.

Ten minutes later, he appeared in the doorway. You were in his bed, under the covers, head resting against his pillows, softly in sleep.

He tried to quietly get into bed without waking you up—he failed. Not because he was loud, but because you always knew when he got into bed next to you.

“Sorry sweetheart.” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

You shook your head and went to curl up in his chest, but he shifted slightly and adjusted your hands so they weren’t touching his stomach. You decided to continue to hold in your questions once he had gotten some sleep.

“How’s your headache?”

“It’s gone.” You whispered, kissing his shoulder. “You need some sleep Stevie.”

“I–..” He closed his eyes and licked his lips. “I was so worried I was going to lose you today.”

“Steve…”

He shook his head, and you let him finish. “And then…I thought…I was going to die without ever telling you just how much I fucking love you.”

Tears filled your eyes immediately. “Steve. I–”

He kissed your lips softly, not letting you get your words out. You could taste your tears in the kiss, but then you realized you werent the one crying. You felt a sob wrack his body, and you immediately kissed him back with more force, more love.

When you pulled away, you rested your forehead on his. Whatever he had just endured, whatever he was going to tell you about when you both woke up, was an issue for later. Right now, all you had to do was hold him in your arms, and be so grateful that you could.

But while Steve fell asleep, you just played with his hair, staying up for the second night in a row. Every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was that creature, looming over you and laughing. The clock still ticking in the back of your mind. You could hear his laughter as he told you to give up.

#x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader angst #steve harrington x reader one shot #steve harrington x reader drabble #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fandom #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x y/n fluff #steve harrington x y/n #Steve harrington x y/n angst

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fandomfluffandfuck · 1 year

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Today, I'm thinking about sensitive--like, so sensitive he's on a hair trigger--World War Two era Steve.

Imagine: Bucky and Steve--post rescue from that HYDRA fascility in The First Avenger--sitting alone, late at night, in the middle of a frozen forest in Germany. Steve offered to take watch because the soldiers he freed need sleep more than he does. So, he's awake. But Bucky is awake because he can't sleep, not because he doesn't need sleep. He really should be sleeping.

Steve and Bucky are sitting together by the fire they risked--sending up empty prayers that the smoke not give them away. But, they need the fire, or else they'll freeze to death. It's so cold that they can see their breath. Clouds hanging around their heads like cigarettes smoke.

Steve's head is on a swivel, actually keeping watch. Meanwhile, Bucky is watching Steve. He still can't believe he's real. He still can't believe that Steve looks like that. Head to toe. He's... he's like a tank now. And with Steve sitting, with his legs spread the way they are, Bucky can't help but eye his bulge. 👀

Bucky means to just squeeze Steve once and get a feel for what he's working with these days. But, he's so warm. A damn furnace. He can't help but linger.

More than linger.

Bucky ends up groping him. Squeezing him a little, pressing down on him, just feeling him up.

He's touches Steve for maybe a minute. Maybe, maybe a minute and a half at most. But, it's apparently long enough for Steve to curls forward with a harshly exhaled cry, his air leaving him in a huge cloud of hot breath as if he was holding his breath but can't any longer. As if he can't stand it--unable to stay silent.

Anyone who's awake would know exactly what kind of noise that is. Obscene. But it doesn't register to Bucky to be spooked at the possibility of getting caught. He's too busy reeling at how fast Steve has gotten hard and...

He's too busy asking, "really?" in his own puff of warm breath when Steve bends over a little more and whines as Bucky keeps touching him. Suddenly too sensitive to let Bucky keep touching him.

Did he really just cum?

Just from that? A hand exploring his new equipment? Not even trying to get him off.

Steve exhales in a stutter and shakes his head where it's framed between his knees. "I mean-" he pauses, "y-yeah. But," he groans, embarrassed, "I haven't. I haven't had time to, uh, y’know-"

Bucky's never felt more awake or curious. There's no way just not having time for some alone time would make a guy that sensitive. There's got to be something more here. Hopefully something that can be exploited... 👀

#fandomfluffandfuck #steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #stevebucky #wwii stucky #ww2 stucky

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potatomountain · 8 months

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TLaM CH 7

“Steps”

mutant reader x human ateez

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: there will be potential triggers for anxiety and mental illnesses all throughout this story. Not all characters are nice at first.

AN: Sorry this took so long but here we go! i keep telling myself ill write longer chapters, but i guess its just not in it for me. Maybe when (if) i finish TLAM ill combine some chapters or perhaps when i get far enough ill do that when I move TLAM onto other platforms. Currently this is the only platform its on and only place to read it

a reminder a lot of the times i don't edit my works and that this is a slow burn, its going to take awhile for mc to meet and trust each of the eight but she’ll get there!

This is a work of fiction, in particular Fan fiction, and in no way is this a representation or an accurate depiction of ATEEZ or any other idols/people used for this work.

Any feedback is always appreciated and adored! Comment on the masterlist to be added to the taglist <3

Masterlist

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> I'm just not afraid to speak the facts 🤭 <

> So did you head inside? <

> ??? <

> you aren't ignoring me now are you? <

> hey, is everything alright? <

> did you freak out and run? You can tell me if you did. <

> come on, at least reply. <

Staring down at the multiple messages from Jongho I was a bit shocked. It had taken me longer to calm down in the unfamiliar shower than I expected, and truthfully I had taken my time to dry off and pick up my phone once more. Nearly an hour had passed since my last message, and ten minutes since his which was simply my name.

I wasn't sure if this was a show of concern, was this how people showed concern? I would send him multiple messages in my own panic, but in the last few days Jongho would usually only ever reply with one message until I had responded. Even if it had been longer than an hour.

> No I didn't run, I was using one of their showers. I apologize I should have informed you rather than stop mid conversation like that. <

Setting the phone aside I sat up from the bed and finally began my search for my clothes. "Has to be here somewhere…" I managed half the articles of clothing before there was another string of texts.

> showers? They have showers? <

> never mind that, are you still there then? <

> are you alright? <

I frowned at the last message, my chest tight. Am I alright? He wasn't one of the doctors at the lab, my wellbeing shouldn't matter. He wasn't the first person to throw me off with such questions, as even Seonghwa had asked and shown concern during the last time I had been here, and even now.

I could not fathom why either of them would, or why my chest felt a bit warm that they were.

> I am alright. It is a shelter, he allowed me to occupy a room to get my bearings together. Hot showers and steam in particular help my nerves. I haven't left the room yet. <

Part of me did not want to. Would that energetic man be down there? Would he show similar behavior as before, invading my personal space with no regard for his own safety? I did not want to harm him, yet I knew it was possible I would.

Seonghwa would show no concern then.

The thought jostled me enough that I dropped the hoodie I had just picked up. The loss of his kindness was an idea that filled me with dread and disappointment, followed by confusion. I was used to people being unkind to me, to treating me as I am: a monster. Why would I care if he does?

Because I needed this tavern? And needed it to work out for me? That seemed like a valid reason but it didn't exactly feel correct.

Before I could overthink it, the soft ding of my phone drew my attention.

> So what is the plan now? <

That was a good question. Biting my lip I weighed my options. I was calm enough that I could attempt to socialize, or at least stay for tea and something to eat but… quickly my thoughts spiraled into what if's. What if they didn't want me here now? Did they think I was strange? Were they used to Typhon's like this? Would I be able to eat?

> and don't overthink it. <

Jongho's message pulled me out of my head once again, the corners of my lips lifting. I was grateful he seemed to read me so well, up front and honest. I wasn't sure if I had shown enough gratitude for what he was doing. On impulse I sent a message, not bothering to look it over despite the anxiety that hit the second I hit send.

> if it's alright I would like to try a call later tonight or tomorrow. That is the next step, yes? <

Jongho was unusually quick to read and reply today, leaving me no time to unsend the message as the little “read” by the chat bubble popped up and further twisted the anxiety in my gut.

> Are you sure you are ready for that? <

The thing was, I wasn’t sure at all I was ready at all. I wanted nothing more than to go home and exist in those four walls alone, letting the rest of the world forget I existed. I wanted San gone and my safe space back, life was simpler like that. But… It was lonely. Talking with Jongho, even over the texts, had pulled a veil off my eyes to my situation and my true thoughts and feelings on the matter.

It was easier to be alone, yet it was painful. Being aware of that now, knowing what caused the constant cold sting in my chest, made it that much more unbearable. I didn’t want to be alone anymore, I wanted what I saw in the humans around me so often: Family, friends, laughter and joy brought out by those around them.

Love.

The realization hit like a cold shower, limbs a bit weak so I sat down. Was that perhaps what I wanted here? The idea was to have this be a safe space I could go to, as well as learn to communicate so I could co-exist with San in my home without the constant strain of nerves. Those two things were not something I could get by doing what I was comfortable with, if so I wouldn’t have stayed to calm down or even think about staying longer to attempt to socialize.

It was no longer a matter of what I was ready for, or what I could handle, but a matter of how far I had to push myself. No more did I want to waste away in a pile of blankets oblivious to the rest of the world, no matter how much I felt that was what I deserved.

> I trust you Jongho, I want to learn the next step. <

Winning this battle with myself was only one small step; stepping out of this room and confronting Seonghwa and the new human was a larger step and the true next step I needed to take. That just made it all the more overwhelming.

> Then tell me when you get home, and if you feel up to it I’ll call. If not, we can do so tomorrow, I can call in between classes. <

Right… Jongho was a college student studying music theory. When I first found out that little fact about him I was taken aback, part of me expecting him to follow his father’s footsteps; but it seemed Jongho enjoyed singing. I still didn’t know enough about him to imagine that, but I would like to someday see it.

> Alright. I’m going to leave the room now, talk to you later. <

I ended the conversation there, stood back up and pulled my hoodie back on, leaving the room before I lost the courage to do so. I was both relieved and nervous to see the empty hall, taking a second to really take in the number of rooms there were; roughly four to my left towards the front of the building, with three to my right and stairs up one more floor. Each door seemed thick, a keypad next to each. It reminded me of the rooms back at my father’s lab, although those felt more like cells. Only because I had just left one of the rooms did I know they were not the same. While the room was simple, nothing more than a bed, tv, desk, mini fridge and the bathroom; it did not feel like a cell at all, but a cozy place to make your own. The bare bones needed and yet it was more than those too bright cells could ever be. Remembering Seonghwa’s words when he had led me to the room, I debated on where to go. He had given me the option to roam and explore, but I felt as if I had enough surprises for one day. I headed downstairs for the kitchen then, the smell of something delicious filling my nose and grumbling my stomach in response. I hadn’t eaten today and it felt wrong to leave without acting like a proper patron and purchasing something; even if Seonghwa had made it clear that it wasn't a requirement. However I was surprised to find the ground floor empty and quiet, glancing around the hall to find no one around. The door to the kitchen was shut, but I couldn’t hear anyone on the other side despite the smell of meat coming through the door. I stood frozen on the last step, listening for any sign of life, using my heightened senses to the best of my ability. But it was only a slight difference, not enough to really sense anyone’s breathing or presence.

I was listening so intently the click of the door across from the stairs startled me back, tripping over the stair behind me and my butt falling onto the stairs at an awkward angle. Whimpering as pain shot up my back, I looked up to find an unfamiliar face in the doorway, our eyes locking and his seemingly nonchalant expression twisted with just a bit of shock and concern. The tumble I took on the stairs was enough to stir movement elsewhere, but it was the unfamiliar man’s deep voice that drew more attention.

“Are you alright?” He shut the door behind him and moved around the desk just as Seonghwa emerged from the kitchen with the red haired man poking his head up behind him. Before the newcomer could approach any further, Seonghwa was holding up his hand to stop him and taking a step closer but not too close.

“That’s Yeosang, he handles the security here. Did you hurt yourself?” The introduction eased some anxiety, but the fall on my rear had jostled the nerves on my back enough to make tears spring in my eyes. “Blue, where does it hurt?” I don’t know how he did it, how he knew just what to ask or say to ease my anxiety, or how he managed to read me like this but it was comforting. Quickly wiping away the blue tears, I pulled myself up a bit weakly, a hand moving to my back. “My back is… more sensitive than the rest of me so the fall hurt a bit. I was just startled, nothing else is wrong.”

Seonghwa sighed with relief, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Then if you’d like to sit down, Wooyoung made you something to eat and I have the tea ready for you. Is that alright?” My stomach’s rumble answered for me and I could feel my cheeks flush in embarrassment. Nodding, I stepped down and kept my head lowered as I made my way to the lounge and spotted the familiar table I had sat at before. It was still the best option for my back so I sat there once more, looking around and finding myself alone.

For a Typhon shelter, I couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or not that it seemed so empty each time I’ve been here. It was comforting to say the least, less people around so less new things and people to be anxious about. But also, the lack of people was somewhat eerie. For how welcoming this place seemed, there didn’t seem to be many people who wanted to be here.

Before I could over think it further Seonghwa stepped in with a tray, setting it down on the table and taking a step back for space. Not that I paid attention to anything other than the meat dish and tea pot, more primal instincts winning over my other senses.

Still not wanting to be rude however, I bowed my head a bit. “Thank you Seonghwa, it looks delicious.”

“My pleasure Blue. Would you like us to leave you alone to eat or-”

“Yes please. But um…” I looked up, spotting the two other humans watching around the wall behind Seonghwa. “I feel like I got off on the wrong foot, with all three of you now. I want to apologize for my rude behavior and the distress I’ve caused you, and thank you again for your care.” The words felt heavy on my tongue, but it lifted a weight off my shoulder, making it easy to continue through the doors they opened. “I would like to… I mean I hope you wouldn’t mind but I- Well you see…” Okay, not as easy as I would like.

Noticing my distress as usual, Seonghwa offered a reassuring smile. “We can continue this after you've eaten if you like?”

Nodding, I motioned to the two behind him. “All three of you?” Seonghwa turned in time to see Wooyoung dart away but Yeosang seemed to remain with an unreadable expression, giving a half wave.

“I am fine with that, are you Yeosang?”

The man shook his head, stepping more into the archway without entering the room and stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Truthfully I don’t think it's my place. I don’t want to scare her more than I have, not with how nervous she already is thanks to the idiot.” “True true. Then will you stay for my sake? Help me keep said idiot in check? I don’t think she would find the way I tend to handle him relaxing at all.”

“You… have a point. Very well.”

Seonghwa turned back to me as I was taking a sip of the tea, a softness to his features. “I’ll let you eat for now, just call out when you’re ready to talk.”

With a nod I watched him head out, only to call out before he completely disappeared from sight. With as much courage as I could muster, I thought of all the kindness and care he had shown, how he had done his best to ease my worries and make me comfortable every second that I have been here: both times. It warmed my chest, tingled my nerves, and I found myself genuinely smiling. “Thank you, for everything. I think I am glad to have met you at least.”

His eyes went wide as saucers, mouth agape as he floundered like a fish for words. I found the expression a bit humorous, but otherwise turned my attention to the food. I had said what I wanted to say, and my stomach demanded to be fed with no more interruptions.

The first bite was heavenly, and when I looked up to once again offer thanks, I was alone.

=============================================

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andromedaexists · 6 months

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I've had a lot of friends reach out to me the past couple days and I just don't have the spoons to respond to all of y'all so I'm gonna say what I need to here:

I love you and appreciate you all. Your condolences and well wishes were received and mean a lot to me.

Now, for those who are not in the loop, I would like to take a moment to tell you about why I haven't been around for a hot minute despite really trying my best to be (under the cut, because good lord are there a lot of heavy topics on the table such as pet loss, depression, mental and physical health and the degradation thereof, stress and anxiety and more)

So, just in a brief bullet point recap, since about july of this years I have:

been switched onto a project at work that put increasingly more important responsibilities on my shoulders despite me saying that i never want to be in that position again

been switched back to my normal project in the middle of a hierarchy shift, therefore not knowing who to contact for literally anything (we're still working this out, btw)

started my final semester of college with 4 classes (reading & translating dead language #1, reading & translating dead language #2, novels in dead language #1, and the history of my native tongue that requires reading in the dead ancient form of it)

found myself being forced into monthly outings with my mother (a test in repairing our relationship that is going... okay)

somehow became integral in a discord (not upset, just not sure how i ended up here frfr)

being told on the first day of classes that i am having surgery ASAP on a cyst (we all know my history with cysts here.. it's not pretty)

the absolute atrocity that blue ridge ended up being. that was supposed to be my relax time, my time to unwind from everything else and i still have not recovered my loss of sleep from being up for 40 hours straight because of how horrible that weekend was

had my surgery cancelled because i'm too fat and then being ghosted by the doctor

had my heart absolutely demolished by a guy I thought I could love, only to be reminded that love is a luxury not afforded to people like me

broke up with my primary care physician because my health is degrading so fucking bad that i literally woke up feeling like i broke my wrist just because. and he still won't take me seriously. i can barely walk at this point, let alone stay awake and functioning longer than 4 hours at a time

had my employee review (that actually went well, but i did get my ass chewed out for low production)

had the world fall apart around me as any hope i had for humanity is shattered

release my book 3 days later because it was too late to change the release day by then

bury myself in a depression hole that i'm learning is normal for authors after their book releases

have to move my grandma into assisted living/memory care

have to immediately move myself out of my apartment with a weeks notice because the stress of living next to violent neighbors was finally getting to me (triggered my past with domestic violence) AND they started harassing me

had to undergo a medical procedure because i can't even eat food without my body rebelling

missed a month of classes because of depression

failed 2 latin tests in a row followed by bombing the midterm which was... great of my mental health especially considering i haven't received anything lower than a B or a C on an exam since ever (i was an honor roll/4.0/gifted studies kid)

Failed a History of the English Language exam because i cannot code switch between German, Latin, and English quickly enough (those are the 3 that comprise middle english btw)

a week after moving into my grandma's house I almost burned it down

found out that someone I really respected and looked up to as a friend was a Zionist

and finally: on Saturday I had to put down the cat I have owned for 15 years. She's undoubtedly older than that, but I was her owner for 15 years. She was my first ESA. I was able to tell my prof I wouldn't be in for the SECOND LATIN MIDTERM on monday because of it so now i have to take it tomorrow, but i couldn't get out of the greek exam or work. I asked for one (1) day off work and was told that my cat dying was not sufficient enough reason for the time off without using PTO (that i don't have because I used it on the absolutely horrible weekend that was Blue Ridge)

So yeah. I haven't been around. I've been more around on twitter but that's mostly me just reposting a bunch of posts about Palestine rn and other posts that my friends make. I'm so fucking exhausted and nauseous and just done. I haven't really written anything either because my work up until now has shown both the horrors of humanity and the underlying hope but I do not have that hope anymore and it hurts

Ironically since I've started working on Desecrate I've started wondering if this is my punishment for straying from God all those years ago. I don't think so but not I gotta add re-working through my religious trauma and my Catholic Guilt to my never ending list of things to do.

If you read this whole thing, kudos to you. I appreciate you all and I'm sorry for dumping it but I have not been able to really say anything about what's going on in my life because i just.. idk I don't have the words for it most days. I'm just tired.

#andi talks #vent post #life fucking suck rn man #and i just i don't know if i can keep holding out for it to get better

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eva-knits12 · 8 months

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Steve's Favorite Girls

Trigger warning: nothing that I can think of, just fluff and Steve's daughter just wanting Daddy cuddles.

Summary: Steve and James wants to watch his beloved Yankees play, and his daughter just wants daddy cuddles. Also, the family of four will become a family of five.

It's based on this video here.

It was a typical Sunday at the Rogers household. Breakfast was already made, and you and Steve made pancakes and sausage. Your son James, ate his happily, and even ate his fruit. James was now drawing at the table, and Sarah was making scribbles on paper with her palm crayons.

The Yankees were playing that afternoon, which means you and Sarah get to spend some mother daughter bonding time. It wasn't like at your cousin's bridal shower, where you were trying to keep your daughter entertained and she was bored the entire time. She just wanted to spend time with Steve and her brother, and they got to spend the afternoon swimming, and then watching the boats. Sarah wanted to do that, too. But she had to be at the bridal shower because she was one of the flower girls. Sarah threw a tantrum because she loved swimming, and she loved the beach.

"We'll go later, honey. I know you're bored. I brought you your palm crayons and your coloring book, and your favorite Barbie doll", you said, trying to soothe your toddler. Your daughter perked up at the crayons and coloring book, so you pulled it out. You also brought some books, so you spend the rest of her afternoon reading to her and coloring with her. You realized that it was hard to keep a toddler entertained longer than three minutes at a time, and you had your phone turned off. You did join Steve and James at the beach after the shower, and even let Sarah play in the water for bit. You then went to the hamburger/hot dog stand, and got everyone cheeseburgers and fries for dinner and lemonades to drink, with ice cream cones for dessert.

"I've already got the subs ordered for you, honey. I'll pick them up when Subway opens," you say, giving Steve a kiss. You and Steve still feel like newlyweds, and you both have been married for six years. Steve gave up going on missions when he found out you were pregnant with James, and three years ago, he took even more of a backseat with the Avengers when he found out your were pregnant with Sarah. He just wanted to enjoy this life that he never had with Peggy, and that he had missed out when he was frozen in the ice. He found that with you when he accidentally bumped into you when you were working at the Avengers tower as Tony's receptionist, and you had to help Tony file paperwork. You were busy trying to make sure that the paperwork was in order, and looking through everything. You weren't paying attention to where you were going, and you ran into Steve. Steve, being the gentlemen he was, stopped to help you.

"It looks like you have ton of papers there," said Steve, as he was helping you pick up the papers.

"Thanks. Can I get you a cup of coffee later?", you ask Steve.

"I haven't seen you here before. Are you new here?", asked Steve.

"I just started here a week ago. I'm still trying to find my around. I feel like this is a huge task, and Tony hasn't introduced me to the Avengers yet," you say.

"I'm Steve. Steve Rogers. I'll take the offer for coffee", said Steve.

"I'm Eva. And I can't wait to see more of you", you said.

From that first meeting, and that first coffee date, you and Steve have been together ever since. A few years ago, on your birthday, Steve had planned a party. He found a room at a nice Italian restaurant. and he rented out the room for the night. He then invited the Avengers, and everyone said something about you. Steve's turn finally came, and at the end, he got down on one knee, and pulled out the small, black velvet box in his pocket. It was his mother's ring, and you said yes. You felt that Sarah was with always with him. You also went home with a lot of gifts, and you felt like a kid again.

Your wedding was a beautiful affair held at a local church. You're an agnostic, but you knew it was important for Steve to have the wedding in a church, seeing as how he was raised Christian. The reception was held in the lake house in Central Park, and it was set up and looked elegant and beautiful. You wore a vintage inspired wedding gown, because it would match your ring better. The sunset behind you, and you're wedding photos were in there. Steve even twirled you around the dance floor during your first dance.

You and Steve went to Rome for your honeymoon, and you both enjoyed it. You got pregnant on your honeymoon, and you told Steve on his birthday.

"Honey, this just makes our honeymoon and my birthday special", said and excited Steve. His hand went to your stomach.

Steve was in tears of joy. Everything he ever wanted in life was happening, and was thanks to you. The guy that became unfrozen never lost sight, it was just buried. You explained that when you had to accompany Nick Fury and Maria Hill to the safe house, and since you had been promoted, and now worked more closely with the Avengers, you sometimes had to go on missions with them, and help with their tech and communications. You weren't on the front lines at that point, you worked more behind the scenes, and that suited you just fine. You felt like Jake Jenson from The Losers. You and Steve had become more serious at that point, and he had been wanting to take a backseat for a while. It was after the events of Ultron that Steve started to take more of a backseat, and worked with new recruits. He was still doing paperwork, and helping out on missions at that point, but you and Steve had become even more serious and even bought a house upstate that was close to the compound. Tony lived right across the lake from you.

It was Sunday, and the Yankees were playing that afternoon. Steve and James wanted to watch the game on TV, which meant you and Sarah had to make yourselves scarce. You would be going to the retirement home that afternoon, so you could help with the Sunday afternoon Bingo, and you often brought along James and Sarah. Steve would come, too, and would visit with Peggy. You didn't mind, Peggy knew about you, she had worked with your Papa at one point, and it was often a family thing. Peggy had met James and Sarah already. While you were busy with Bingo and serving snacks and drinks to the residents, James would often draw and Sarah would often nap in her stroller. The resident's loved James and Sarah.

You told Sarah that it was just going to be you two today, so you planned on having a mother daughter date with Sarah. You told Sarah that the Yankees were playing and that Steve and James needed to spend some father son time together.

"No, no, Daddy's mine today", said Sarah.

"Sarah, Daddy loves the Yankees. They're his favorite team. Daddy and James need to spend time together, too," you explain.

"No, Daddy. I want to Daddy to cuddle me", says, Sarah.

"I know, baby, but it's only for one afternoon. I know you want Daddy cuddles, but you can get Daddy cuddles later," you say.

"No, Yankvess play some other time. Daddy," says Sarah, who is now starting to cry because she just wanted Steve to cuddle her.

This breaks you heart. So, you agree to take Sarah to Barnes and Noble to get a book, and get a toy.

You and Sarah leave the house, and you take her to Starbucks, and get her an apple juice, along with a cake pop. You got a regular coffee with cream and sugar, and you get a chocolate donut. You and Sarah both sit on the patio, and you wait for your friends to arrive. Normally, Steve would watch the kids while you met with your friends for your weekly coffee date, but today, you had no choice but to bring Sarah.

You color with Sarah while you guys wait, and Anne comes first, followed by Sandra, then Jean, then Debbie, and Jenny arrives last. You all sit, and you grab your knitting, you all sit and knit for a while, and talk.

After a few hours, you all say your goodbyes, and go about your afternoon. Sarah is sitting in her stroller, and you walk down to Barnes and Noble, and go into the kids section and you get Sarah a book and a toy. You got a cozy mystery for yourself, too.

Before you pay for the books and leave, you let Sarah play for a bit, and then you guys pay for your books and her toy. You then head to Subway to get the sandwich for Steve and James, and you get a sub for yourself, too. You get a little kids meal for Sarah, and pay for the purchase.

You and Sarah sit at the table, and eat your lunch. Sarah happily chews on her small sandwich, and you eat your meal. After a while, you and Sarah head off to the retirement home, and Sarah is napping in her car seat.

You arrive at the retirement home, and Sarah, who usually sleeps the entire time, screams.

"DADDY! DADDY!", Sarah screams. Sarah is upset because all she wants to do is spend time with her daddy.

Meanwhile, Steve and James are watching the game. Sam and Tony are over, and so is James' godfather Bucky. The game starts soon, so everyone grabs some of the sub, and sits in their spots.

It was an exciting game, and the Yankees won. It didn't go into extra innings, if it did, you would have gotten a call to stay out longer, which would be impossible with a toddler.

While the boys were bonding and watching the game, you and Sarah were at the retirement home. You were helping Victoria with the Sunday Bingo, and the kitchen staff even gave Sarah a some apple juice, some cookies, and some apple slices to snack on.

After that, you stayed for a bit to talk with the residents, and Sarah was getting antsy. You were even talking with the guitarist from the Monkees, Peter Tork, who wasn't your favorite, but you were friends. He loved it when you brought James and Sarah. Some of the residents were even in your book club, Peter included. You started the book club for the residents. You even introduced Doris to audio books, and it opened a world for her.

You order some Chinese for dinner, and bring it home.

"Hi, doll. Did you and Sarah have a good time?" asks Steve.

"Sarah and I had a lovely time. She really wanted you, though," you say.

"Hi, Sarah. Are you glad to see me finally?" Steve asks.

"DADDY!" screams Sarah. Sarah runs up to Steve, with her arms out, and Steve picks her up. Sarah is finally getting her Daddy cuddles.

You are busy dishing out the Chinese, when you tell Steve to finish up. Your morning sickness has kicked in right now, and you need to throw up.

"Are you okay, doll? Steve asks, concerned.

"I am, Steve. In fact, there's going to be some more love in the Rogers household", you say.

You give Steve the positive pregnancy test, which you took several days ago. You had it confirmed on Friday, and were just waiting for the right time to tell Steve. You also give Steve the ultrasound photo.

Steve kneels down and kisses your stomach.

"I can't wait to meet him or her," says Steve.

"Steve, I'm happy. I always wanted three kids, and it's thanks to you," you say.

"Wait, I'm going to be a big brother again?" asks James.

"You sure are, James," you respond.

"Sarah, did you hear that? You're going to be a big sister," you say.

"No, no. I'm the baby", says Sarah.

You and Steve are cracking up.

"No baby. I'm the baby", says Sarah.

James is now laughing.

"Sarah, you still have a lot to learn about being a big sister," says James.

Dinner is finished, and James and Sarah are watching The Incredibles on the Disney Channel. You talk to your stomach.

"Just wait, little one, you'll be part of the organized chaos, soon," you say.

Steve says, "We can't wait to meet you, little one", and kisses your belly again.

This is was the dream for both you and Steve. Steve couldn't stop smiling.

You try to snuggle with Steve, but Sarah kept pushing your arm away. You try to hold Steve's hand, but Sarah kept pushing it away. You were not going to get between Sarah and her Daddy cuddles since Sarah had a lot to say about it. Nobody comes between Sarah and Daddy cuddles.

Sarah was basically telling you "Not today Satan" in her own way right now.

Steve starts laughing.

#steve rogers #new york yankees #james rogers #sarah rogers #toddlers #cute toddlers #pregnant #pregnancy

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thattiredgradstudent · 2 years

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I Just Want to Understand | Steve Harrington x OC

Synopsis: After many failed relationships, Michelle confesses things to Steve

Pairing: Steve Harrington x OC

Trigger Warnings: Drug use, implied cheating, implied/mentioned sexual content, hurt?/comfort, discussions of sexuality

Word Count: 668

AN: Confession, I haven't even watched beyond season 2 ep 1. I just read a lot of fanfics. Literally, I just 'met' Max and Billy, so this is just me winging it. So apologies in advance for anyone being out of character.

Honestly I, feel like any time I post something, I always have the disclaimer of I haven't posted anything in a while so don't judge me too harshly but again, it's been a few months, but writing has been helpful lately. And I don't really know what deserves a trigger warning and what doesn't? I'm trying here. This is one of those self-indulgent fics because I have been a mess with my sexuality and this slightly me processing it.

OH - and I didn't edit this beyond what google docs said was wrong.

“Okay wait, I think I know how to explain this better.” I grabbed the blunt from Eddie needing something to calm the pounding in my chest.

Steve was sitting in front of me, very confused and trying very hard not to freak out. Robin was next to me on the shore, and Eddie was laying a few feet away on a blanket. After having overheard me telling Robin how I didn’t want to have sex, things became a lot more complicated than I anticipated a lake trip with my friends being.

“So you know how you and Robin like boobs? And Eddie likes “ -both, i like both” Eddie cut me off and winked at either Robin or Steve, possibly both of them before I continued, “right, and Eddie likes boobs and dick. But you can acknowledge when a guy is just, conventionally attractive? Like Kurt Russel or Tom Cruise, but you don’t want to have sex with either of them.”

Steve slowly nodded and Robin gave me a small reassuring smile

“Okay, well. I don’t like either. Boobs or dick. But I want to date dick. No. Wait, that came out wrong. I want to be with you Steve…I just don’t want, well, more that I don’t care about having sex.” I had a hard time explaining it myself. But when everyone was talking about who was hot and who was hooking up with who, I just never got it. The few times I had hooked up with someone, it just didn’t feel right. I never felt the things my friends described, I just was stressed and confused as to how I was supposed to act.”

I was shaking and struggling to keep my voice steady. I hadn’t actually gone into detail about how I felt, but Steve and I had been dating for almost a year now and there was only so long I could go before I had to tell him, so mine as well do it when it is a slightly less awkward moment. I didn’t want to keep things a secret.

“So you don’t want to have sex, at all?” Steve clarified and I nodded, “but we…did you, did you not want to?” While I wasn’t around for it, Robin filled me in on Steve’s relationship with Nancy and how much he cared, probably loved, her, and how those feelings weren’t reciprocated, so this moment was sending him into a spiral.

“No no no, Steve it’s not like that. I don’t feel sexual attraction. I don’t look at someone and think about having sex with them. But, fuck why is this so hard, I still get turned on? I still can enjoy things. I just could also go without them?”

We all sat in silence for a few minutes before Eddie said he was to smoke and practically dragged Robin with him.

“You’ve never wanted to have sex with me?” Steve asked again, much quieter this time.

“No. I guess, no I haven’t.” I pulled my knees to my chest trying not to cry. I’d seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending. Whether it was immediately or a few days, each guy left, so it was only a matter of time.

You’re great, but I just don’t see this going anywhere

I just don’t see us working out, maybe if you put more effort into the relationship it would have been better

I mean come on, if you weren’t going to fuck me I was going to find someone who would

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Steve, I’m sorry, I should have. But we were taking things slow, and then who whole mess with Vecna, it just never was necessary. I get if you want to,”

“Don’t you dare say end things.” I couldn’t hide the shock on my face, “Don’t. Please don’t say that. Because I don’t want to end things, I just want to understand.” Steve continued, pushing himself off the blanket to kneel in front of me.

#steve harrington fanfic #stranger things #coming to terms with my sexuality #steve harrington stranger things #asexual #asexual oc

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raggaraddy · 3 years

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Sauna

Summary: Taehyung always makes you wait on him, but he is going to make sure you learn that he should never have to wait on you.

Trigger Warnings: Smut, Smut, Smut, abuse, Dom/sub-themes, examples of a bad D/s dynamic, ambiguous torture.

Taehyung

Yandere!Taehyung

Dom!Taehyung

You've been waiting for Taehyung for hours now. Once again work claims his time and focus. Luckily his luxurious house has plenty to keep you entertained. Knowing Tae, it could be anywhere from 30 minutes to 8 hours that he's locked away. So while you patiently wait for him to be available you decide to make use of the sauna. You know you'll be able to quickly shower and be ready for him within a few minutes when he calls. And he won't mind wet hair or a lack of makeup. He isn't interested in anything like that. He just wants you in position ready for him.

Spending lots of 20 minutes, you cycle through small sessions in the heat and steam with rests in between. It gets to near 90 minutes and on your fourth time heading into the sauna you can feel you are just about at your limit, your head starting to become a bit light.

After only 5 minutes more you decide to cut it short. You remember you haven't really drunk enough water throughout the day and you don't want to risk overdoing it and becoming dazed with Taehyung.

Standing up, you bundle your towel wiping at the sweat dripping from your forehead. You jump as you bring it down, startled by Taehyung standing in the doorway suddenly, looking displeased.

"Ignoring my calls are you?" He opens the sauna door questioning sternly. Your smile changes into a frown of confusion. He called? He never called. Or at least your phone never rang.

"No," you shake your head feeling flustered at suddenly being put on the spot. Passing him diffidently he backs out of the doorway and allows you to exit into the cooldown room.

"Then why did I have to come searching for you?" he berates.

You know you checked the volume. You purposefully made it as loud as you could because you wanted to make sure you would hear it over the music in the sauna. You pick up your phone only to find it dead. You checked the volume but not the battery, and you didn't think to look at it in the past hour, not wanting to touch it while you were sweaty.

Putting the phone face down, sheepishly you turn around. Taehyung hates to be kept waiting. It's something he never tolerates. And you know what he'll say. That being careless is not a sufficient excuse.

"I'm sorry, Sir. It won't happen again." You apologize contritely, nervously fiddling with your fingers.

"That's not what I asked girl." He demands an answer to his question. The laid back manner with which he stands does not match the harshness of his tone or wording. Usually, he calls you with some variation of little girl or baby girl or good girl. But when it's just girl, you know you've upset him.

"I- my phone died." You pick it up to prove it to him. "I'm sorry" you mumble.

“So what your saying is your lack of attention has caused me to wait on you.” He scolds, his stare hardening.

While you feel bad, you’re starting to get frustrated. He's being hypocritical. It’s not like you did it on purpose. It was an accident and he’s being too harsh. “Well, I had to wait for you too. Like, nearly 3 hours.” You argue back, instantly regretting your stupid lack of impulse control.

"Excuse me," He challenges with a tight jaw. You know it's rhetorical and not meant to be answered. The best thing is to stay silent and continue to look down at your fingers.

For a moment too long he is quiet and motionless. Your eyes flick up to see what kind of response he is having, only to see him standing stiffly, his features tight as he assesses you unblinkingly. You're feeling dumb, knowing you've just put yourself in a bad position at the start of your weekend session with Tae.

You audibly whimper from nerves, wanting to undo some of the damage. "I'm sor-"

“Come here Y/n”. He interrupts, holding his hand out for you. From his demeanour, you know you're in trouble, but your not sure how yet. However, slightly apprehensively, you accept his outreached hand.

He opens the sauna door, holding it wide and gesturing for you to enter. You pause hesitantly unsure of where he is going with this.

"After making you wait so long for me, I would hate to interrupt you. Go back in. I'll even join you." Now it's his eerily pleasant tone that doesn't match his observable frustration and the slowly tightening grip on your wrist.

Lightly you shake your head, not wanting to say any variation of the word no. "I-it's okay, Sir. I was done."

"Go in." And now to your dismay, the chill of his voice and his body language match. He orders you into the sauna pointedly, his expression daring you to debate it further.

Swallowing heavily, you can't help the way his domineering tone is filling your stomach with butterflies. Even when he gets scary- especially when he gets scary- you find him so attractive. But you know you need to take this moment seriously, or risk getting yourself further into strife.

You nod, going back into the sauna, the warm wet heat swarming around you again quickly making your breath feel smothered. Sitting on one of the wooden benches, you get lower trying to get out of the rising heat. Sweat right away returning to your brow and neck.

After a few minutes, Taehyung comes in, having removed his clothes. He puts down a towel and sits alongside you, resting back with his arms up on either side, his eyes closed as he enjoys the warmth. You try to do the same. But even after a little while more, you're becoming more and more uncomfortable. You try to bear it as long as you can, but as another 10 minutes pass your head begins to thump, your eyes becoming unfocused.

"Okay." You say standing up with a wobble. "This was really nice. But I'm getting a little dizzy. I think I should go out."

"Sit down." He says without opening his eyes. You're looking through the glass door to the cool of the outside longingly. It's starting to hurt being in here, but you're sure Tae knows that.

"Please, Sir. I don't feel well." You try again to plead your point. Despite your discomfort, you still don't want to act on your own. Outrightly disobeying him would disregard everything that your relationship is built on.

"Do you really want to test me right now, little girl?" He says, his head rested back with a smirk.

"You're being unfair." You pout, lightly stomping your foot.

He chuckles, rolling his head forward. "The answer's yes apparently." He stands and your gaze drops to eye height looking at his collar bone. He steps towards you and you step back. And again. Pushing you to the other side of the room. Your legs come into contact with the bench and as he steps at you again, with nowhere left to go, you fall down onto the seat, coming face height with his lower stomach and crotch.

An embarrassed glow fans over your cheeks as you realize what your first impulse is. You stifle a giggle, biting your lip.

"Little Y/n, who's in charge here?"

Those words said in that deep tone have you momentarily forgetting how dehydrated and sick you feel. His voice sending a wave of shivers down your spine and up your neck.

"You are." You purr back, having to push your thighs together with a new kind of heat rushing through your stomach.

"And when I tell you to do something, you do it. Isn't that right?" His salacious words are accompanied by his hand curling around your jaw, his thumb resting on your lips pressing for entrance into your mouth. Instinctually, you open for him and suck his thumb, looking up at him with wide eyes. There's a small lustful smile on his face and in his eyes. But it's the way he licks and bites his lip that has another bolt of heat shooting through your core.

You nod to his question, sucking firmer, taking it deeper and rubbing your tongue along it. Emboldened by the ravenous look in his eye.

Taehyung removes his hand, it shoving your shoulder, making you crash back into the wall. He grabs your legs and roughly throws them onto the double-tiered bench, having you lay along it. Climbing on top of it, he pushes himself between your legs making you spread them wider to accommodate him. Right away you nearly melt feeling his hardening member.

"When I tell you to sit, you don't argue. Do you?" He leans over the top of you, his hand rested next to your head.

"No, Sir." You whisper back breathlessly, shaking your head.

He presses his hips down, rubbing himself between your legs, slipping effortlessly with how wet you already are. You buck upwards trying to encourage him to go further, trying to meet him that last little bit to get what your craving.

"And when I tell you to wait for my call, you make sure to wait patiently and be a good girl for me, don't you?"

"Yes," you pant.

He smirks, approving of your answers. His lips come to yours, licking over your bottom lip before his tongue enters your mouth. Slowly he sinks deep inside you, making you moan and whine.

"You don't need to ask Y/n. Cum as much as you want. But you don't move till I'm done."

A small excited smile fills your face, and you nod back. As far as punishments go, this one seems great. He's not denying you, and he said you can cum as much as you want, so he's not going to overstimulate you. At the moment, you can't see the downside.

Gradually he starts to move, and you bring your hips up to his to match his rhythm, groaning and moaning the whole time. It isn't long until Taehyungs skilled strokes have you exploding around him, giving you the ecstasy you sought after.

But as your high starts to fade, you again gain clarity and realization of your surroundings. You're no longer desperately working towards release and you can again feel the hot air going down your throat. The excess heat of Taehyungs skin on yours. The way your bodies slip along one another due to sweat, or the sweat dripping from Tae's body all over you. You're wet and sore and the longer he continues, even as he brings you to another orgasm, it feels tainted with the suffocation of the sweltering heat.

Taehyung can see it. The look of excitement you had, turning swiftly into one of worry and distress as your distraction faded. And he is revelling once again in how transparent your emotions are to him. Enjoying being able to see how you're suffering but still obeying him.

As he makes you cum for a third time, your body throbs in pleasure but your head thumps in pain. Your chest hurting and your breath short. Your eyes getting glassy. A sick feeling nudging at the back of your throat.

He keeps going, unrelenting for far too long. Keeping himself slow and steady, breaking to kiss and paw at you every now and then to draw it out even longer.

With a stolen glance at the clock on the wall, you can only estimate that he has been fucking you for at least 30 minutes. It's too much. You're so past your limit you can barely keep your eyes open or move. You want to ask him to stop, but you know his order not to move including asking if you could. And you are aware it wasn't a suggestion.

By the time Taehyung finally cums, you're completely spent, nearly unconscious. So much so that after taking a second to catch his own breath, he has to carry you out of the sauna.

As he lays you on the bench in the cool-down room, your body is shivering with dehydration. Any second now, you fear you're going to throw up. Or completely pass out.

But Taehyung doesn't care. He hates to wait on you and he knows he certainly made his point. His only care is that he makes sure you're not confused as to why your suffering right now. "The next time I tell you to wait for me, Y/n," He clarifies with a stern tone, tapping your face lightly to make sure your eyes are open, "I expect you to be actively waiting, and to come running the second I call. Am I understood?"

#bts #yandere bts #yandere #bts fanfic #bangtan #yandere bangtan #bts smut #yandere taehyung #dom!taehyung #bangtan smut #bangtan smut reactions #bts smut reactions #bts taehyung #taehyung #taehyung smut

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astro-rain · 3 years

Text

delicate; b.barnes

chapter twenty - “collateral damage”

delicate masterlist

word count: 2k

synopsis: bucky and y/n deal with the emotional fallout of her departure from wakanda.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: mildly suggestive content, nothing explicit, 18+ readers please.

The flight home was wretched. Sleeping on the jet was impossible. Every time she shut her eyes she saw his face. If her mind did somehow manage to drift off to sleep, Y/N dreamed of him and woke up trying not to rip her hair out.

"We can still stay in contact, right?" Bucky asked as they were walking back from the waterfall.

They had left their catharsis by the water, still upset, but now calmer and more logical.

"I don't think so..."

"What? Why? It's not like we don't have the technology to do it."

"I know, but.." Y/N trailed off, trying to think of a sensible excuse.

Obviously they could stay in contact if they wanted. But any kind of phone call would be able to be tracked or recorded. That, and she didn't want him to hang on to someone who betrayed him. She couldn't imagine the guilt she'd have hearing Bucky's "I miss you's" or "Baby doll's" from miles away, knowing she lied to him.

"You don't even have a phone..."

"That's an easy problem to fix."

"I know... I just think you should focus on the rest of your healing, and... you know, I'll have a lot of work once I get back...." she took a breath. "I don't know if it's super healthy for us to cling on to each other when it... may be better to move on..."

"Move on?"

"Yeah..."

Bucky stopped walking and turned to face her. They both stood still and he stared at her, confused, as if he was trying to figure something out. He knew her well. She was scared he'd see right through her.

"So let me get this straight. When you're here we can talk all the time and... plenty of other things. But when you're away we can't even call each other?"

"Bucky..."

"That's not all, is it?"

She sighed. "I'm just... worried... about- like-... getting in trouble. If someone overhears or tracks a phone call...What if someone finds out where the 'Winter Soldier' is and comes here to exact revenge?"

That was partly true. She'd never want anyone bad to find out where he was. But no one was tracking her phone calls; she wasn't really a person of interest. In all likelihood, it probably wasn't something she'd have to be terribly worried about.

However, if anyone overheard or saw Bucky on the phone, they'd know it was her, and she doubted anything she could say would convince them that she didn't tell him about the arm.

Or maybe no one would find out. She just didn't want to take the chance. The last time she took a chance, this happened. She wasn't willing to do it again.

He stared at her with dejected eyes. "You know you don't have to worry about me. I'll be okay."

She rested her hands on his forearms and laughed sadly. "Bucky, I don't think I'm ever not gonna worry about you."

He was already in her heart. She didn't think he could leave now.

He let his eyelids fall shut. "I really don't want you to go."

She closed her eyes as well and let her forehead rest against the top of his chest.

"I know. I'm sorry. I don't want to leave you either. But you're gonna do so well, even without me. And every day I'll wake up and think 'wow this man is sexy and has good coping mechanisms! I wish I was him!'"

In the midst of his sadness, she made him laugh. It was a despondent, quiet laugh, but she managed to lift his mood all the same - even if just a little bit. She'd always make everything better.

He gazed down at her, eyes heavy, and without even thinking about it... "I love you."

She looked down at the grass below her feet. "Buck..."

"I do. I'm sorry but I do."

She wrapped her arms around the middle of his back, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in tight, one arm up her back and the other cradling her head.

In the tiniest whisper, she let the truth flow out from her chest. "I love you, too."

The clouds provoked her, so peaceful and quiet, while her head was a big, loud mess. Y/N leaned her head on the window, glaring at them and wondering if she should've said what she did. That she loved him. Internally, she debated whether or not it would make things worse. But she wasn't going to see him again; she might as well have left him with the truth.

Time was lost to her. She thought she would be landing soon, but she couldn't be sure. She couldn't be sure of anything anymore.

Bucky sat at the lake - their lake - and just stared into the water. It felt so strange to him, that she was gone. One minute she was here and now he was just... alone.

It was so quiet. Too quiet. Of course being alone was quiet, but after Y/N left, the air just felt empty.

He wished he could talk to her. Whenever he was upset, all he wanted to do was talk to her.

"So, is this... d-do we say goodbye now?" he asked when they got back to his hut.

"Yeah..." she sighed. "yeah."

"Are you going back to Europe?"

"Yes. Belgium. Haven't been in my apartment in forever."

"Belgium," he wondered. "It's nice there. Safe. What are you gonna do for work?"

"Probably just continue where I left off on my research. Fancy brain stuff, ya'know?"

He grinned, proud. "My smart girl."

She looked around her, as if watching for something. Or someone.

"Buck, I think I have to go now."

"Just one more minute? Please. I wanna remember you like this. Not sad and crying."

Y/N smiled, grabbed his hands, and kissed his knuckles. Both flesh and metal. Because they were both part of him and she loved him. All of him.

Then, she placed both his hands on either side of her face. Softly she said, "remember me like this," before bringing their lips together.

He looked down at his vibranium arm, twisting his wrist to watch how the plates whirred.

Since the first moment he put it on, he had been using it to be gentle, loving, and affectionate. This arm was good. This arm wasn't used for death and destruction and violence.

With this arm he held her, kissed her, loved her. And now she was gone. And now it felt like dead weight.

— ONE WEEK LATER —

Whenever Bucky looked at his bionic arm he saw her. It began to make him sad.

His hair had been getting longer and longer. He could cut it now, now that he had two arms. But every time he tried, all he could do was stare at the arm and hear her voice in his head.

"That's your heart. That's you. You're all heart, Buck. You're so deeply, wonderfully human. All the way to your bones."

That was the first time he expressed real distress about missing a limb, he recalled. That was the first time they kissed. Funny how that transition was made, funny how she could remedy some of his worst emotions.

His days were boring and uneventful and nearly silent. He sat alone a lot. There was no laughter anymore, none of her laughter. There was no more holding, no more kissing, no more loving. The arm just felt... wrong? Like what it was born from had died.

In Belgium, Y/N felt incredibly uncomfortable. She knew she just needed to adjust to the change, after getting to used to life in Wakanda - life with Bucky. Her vacant apartment didn't feel as homey.

It had been, what, a year and a half? About a year and a half since she had been home. About a year and a half spent with Bucky.

Her apartment seemed so... barren. Void of life. And cold. She was used to the Wakandan heat. When she closed and locked the door behind her, she looked at the golden square that the sun cast through her window. It reminded her of that heat.

Y/N sighed, cursing her very own hippocampus for providing her with memory.

"God, I wish you had an AC in here."

She was in his bed. Well, she was on top of him, straddling him, in his bed.

"Is it hot or is it just you?" he joked, poking at her sides and trying to not pout at the loss of her lips.

"Ha. Ha," she rolled her eyes and brought her face back to his.

"Wait," Bucky said and gently pulled her face away to examine it. "You are a little warm."

"It's okay," she quickly tried to resume their previous activity.

"Hold on-" he got cut off as Y/N kept pecking his lips over and over.

"I have-"

Kiss.

"An idea-"

Kiss.

Lightly he pushed her shoulders away, nearly giggling. "Stop it! Just wait a second!"

Bashful, she conceded. "What?"

"Just-" he reached out and put the vibranium hand on her forehead, effectively cooling her down a bit. She closed her eyes and flashed a goofy smile.

"That feels nice."

Then, suddenly, he wrapped both his arms around her back and flipped them over so that he was on top. He smirked.

"Oh yeah, you just wait."

She hung her keys up and took a deep breath, absorbing the emptiness. This was her new normal; she just had to get used to it.

"I just- I don't really... I don't think I need it," Bucky tried to explain.

Want it, he thought. I don't want it. I can't stand to even look at it.

"You don't need it?" Shuri asked.

"Yeah, it-uh it takes a bit of getting used to and I think I just need a break. And I wouldn't want to damage it so... figured it's better with you."

He was better at lying than he gave himself credit for.

"Okay," Shuri accepted his answer and began to detach the bionic arm. "But you let me know if it's uncomfortable or painful anywhere so I can adjust it. Alright?"

"Alright. Thank you."

Finally he was rid of it- that cursed metal weighing down on his soul. Maybe now he could focus on other things. Maybe. It didn't seem likely...

However, as the days drew closer, it did make him slightly - only slightly - less nervous about the trigger word experiment. Now he didn't have a weapon attached to him. Though he reckoned he was the weapon.

No. He wasn't supposed to think like that. He knew Y/N wouldn't want him to. He knew she would say something like, "You aren't what they tried to make you into. You're you and all HYDRA's awfulness can't change the good at your core. My Bucky. You're perfect."

He'd deny to high heavens that he was the farthest thing from perfect. Bucky had no clue how she could say such things. But her conviction never faltered.

Soon enough the day came. The experiment. All he could think about was how she was supposed to be there. He didn't want to do this without her.

But now, he found himself sitting at at a fire on some mountain with one of the Doras. It was dark and it was scary. He was scared.

"It is time," said Ayo.

Nevermind want. He wasn't sure if he could do this without her.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I won't let you hurt anyone."

He was still scared. He still didn't trust himself. But, staring into the fire, he thought back to a past conversation.

"You don't have to trust yourself. That's hard enough as it is and Hydra didn't make it any easier. You just trust me, alright? ... And I will not let anything happen to you."

Bucky didn't have to trust himself. He just had to trust her. Even if she wasn't here, even if she was on another continent, all he had to do was trust her. When Ayo began reciting the trigger words, that was the one thing thing he held onto. The one thing that kept him afloat.

His trust in her.

delicate taglist: @emmojoy @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance @ilovespideyyy @xpurpleglitter @bluelakeee @darkacademic2 @eclipsedplanet @paradisedixon @crazy-beautiful @coffee--writes @lilithknight1111 @buckybarnesishot310 @softladyhours @alwayssandy @those-sea-green-eyes @hero-ically @devilswaldorf @cc13723things @small-death-and-codeine @avengersgirllorianna @cataves @thatbitchsposts @talktomeaboutthestars @surrealpsycho @headheartbellarke @bubbly-moonwarrior @bluemoon-icecream @buckeyecreates @augustbucky @itsthemaree @undiadeestos

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harrypotterwholock · 3 years

Text

A doctor's visit

Summary:

The reader visits Dr. Watsons's practice because of her chronic headache. However, when the doctor draws her blood, he finds out about her self harm and confronts her about it.

Trigger Warning:

Implied Self-harm, implied suicide

I hadn't seen a doctor in a long time, but having had a headache almost every day for a month, I got myself to see one.

After I no longer had a general practitioner, I opened the phone book and looked for a practice. The first entry immediately appealed to me: Dr John Watson, a general practitioner in Westminster. So I called right away and made an appointment for the next day.

The reason for my doctor phobia was my self-harm, which always raised uncomfortable questions during examinations. But since the appointment was all about my head, I wasn't too worried about this possibility.

~~~

I woke up unusually early on the day of the appointment, probably because of the worries about a possible confrontation with the doctor. Despite the sweltering heat, I put on long sleeves to avoid any inquiries. After breakfast, I got ready and went to the next subway station. As always, people looked at me crookedly because I was so inappropriately dressed. When I sat down on a bench next to the track to wait, a small child pointed to me and said to his mother:

"Mommy, why is the woman dressed in such strange clothes, isn't it too hot for long clothes?" The mother was ashamed and pulled her child away from me, but I smiled at the girl.

The subway finally came, and after 10 minutes I had already reached my destination.

The practice was a short walk from the station. At the reception, I registered with a nice doctor's assistant.

"Hello Ms. y / n, I need your insurance card, please."

"Yes, of course, just a moment."

I gave her the card and then went into the waiting room.

When I had just got myself a newspaper to read, a sympathetic doctor opened the waiting room and called me up.

"Hello Mrs. y / l / n, please come with me. My name is Dr Watson. “, he greeted me with a smile.

The treatment room was designed in light colours and was very inviting, thanks to several colourful paintings on the walls. I took a seat across from Dr Watson and waited while he read through my files.

“I see you come to us with a chronic headache, Ms. y / l / n. How long exactly have you had it?"

“For about a month. I thought it was just a bit of a migraine because I have a bit of stress at work at the moment, but now that they haven't left for so long, I fear that it could be something worse "

"I understand. I would like to check you for muscle tension first if that's okay. "

I nodded, and Dr Watson got up and began carefully examining my shoulders and neck.

“It all looks good, and there doesn't seem to be any nerve damage. I think your headache is a stress reaction, as you suspected, but I would still like to draw your blood to make sure there is no organic cause. "

I froze and felt hot and cold at the same time.

“Are you sure that is necessary? I thought you were pretty sure that it was just the stress. "

Dr Watson looked at me sympathetically.

“It would only be for their own good. And don't worry about the needle, you won't feel any of it, I promise you. "

Without any other choice, I nodded and first rolled up my right sleeve to avoid further conversations as much as possible.

"Ah, a leftie, I see," he said, winking at me.

I nodded in agony and smiled. I knew that the veins in general, and especially on my right arm, were bad and often didn't give any blood.

Dr Watson gave me another encouraging smile and began disinfecting my arm.

Then he started inserting the needle, but no blood came out.

“I see you have rolling veins. I think we'll have to try again on your other arm", he said.

Fearfully, I rolled up my left sleeve while he looked for more materials with his back to me.

Tortured, I looked away from my arm and let him have it. When he turned back to me and sat down to draw my blood, he breathed in sharply and looked questioningly into my eyes. When I didn't reply, he said nothing and began to draw blood from my only good vein.

After he was done, he said to me:

"Good Ms. y / l / n, please have a seat, I'll take this over to the laboratory quickly, and then I'll be right back with you."

I sat shaking and tried to calm my breathing. I knew what was in store for me. Countless doctors had referred me to various places, but nothing had worked. I was hopeless.

Dr Watson came back, eyed me worriedly, and sat across from me.

“Ms. y / l / n, you know as well as I do that I can't ignore the scars on your arm. I would disregard my duty of care. Am I right to believe that you inflicted these injuries on yourself? "

"You are right, Dr Watson. I understand you are concerned, but so many doctors before you have tried to help me, and nothing has worked. Please only treat my headache and let me sort out my problems myself. "

"I understand. But just because you've been disappointed in the past doesn't mean nobody can help you. Please let me try. Is this behaviour also related to the stress you mentioned? "

“No, I've had that for a long time. I really appreciate your efforts Dr Watson, but I can't be helped anymore. "

This statement seemed to alarm the doctor because he immediately sat up and leaned forward to me.

“Ms. y / l / n, it is really important that you are honest with me now. Are you thinking about or are you going to kill yourself? "

He looked at me worriedly and seemed extremely agitated. I had hit a sore nerve with my testimony, and it hadn't hit far from the truth.

"No, no, Dr Watson. Really, you shouldn't worry about me. I have to go anyway, I still have work to do. "

I was about to get up when Dr Watson jumped up and pushed me back into my chair by my shoulder.

"No, stay here!" He exclaimed desperately.

“I can't just let you go like this. Who knows what you… ”He cleared his throat.

“You know, a few months ago I lost my best friend. He also killed himself. I don't want the same thing to happen to you. You must have someone to look after you. Don't do this to them. Please do not."

"I'm sorry, Dr Watson, I didn't know that. But I'm sticking to it. I have been to so many treatments, and they have never done any good. I just simply can not carry on anymore."

“Okay y / f / n, listen to me. I can call you y / f / n, right? I'm John, by the way. ” He smiled desperately at me.

“I understand you don't want to be forcibly brought in again, but I can't let you go home in this condition. I will now call an ambulance that will take you to the nearest psychiatric hospital. "

I wriggled out of his grasp.

“No, don't do this to me, please. It's horrible there, that only makes it worse! "

He looked at me thoughtfully.

"All right then. For the rest of the day, all I had to do was paperwork. What do you think if you come to my house, where I can make sure you don't harm yourself. But then you also have to tell me about your problems. I am sure that I can still help you. "

I considered his offer. It was definitely better than being brought in again.

"Good, I'm with you. Definitely better than ending up in a psychiatric hospital again. "

He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Excellent! Here's your coat, come with me. "

He led me out of the treatment room, always careful to hold me back in case I should run away.

“Jessica, I still have work to do. Please lock up afterwards when you go. "

We left the practice and John led me to his car in which we drove to his apartment.

#sherlock fanfic #sherlock fanfiction #sherlock bbc #john h watson #john watson / reader #john watson x reader #john watson x selfharm!reader #johnwatson x suicidal!reader #john watson fanfic #sherlock angst #dr watson #sherlock #fanfiction #fanfic #angst #hurt/comfort

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itsthestutterforme · 3 years

Text

Second Chances (Jang Hanseok)

Summary: Hanseok was spiraling and was starting to get paranoid as Vincenzo's plan began to unravel. Y/N, his best friend, gets hurt because of him and he never forgives himself.

Characters: Vincenzo x nurse!reader (platonic) Hanseo x nurse!reader (platonic), Hanseok x nurse!reader (platonic)

Requested by @letsnotcrytoday

Sighing as you rest your head on the steering wheel, your phone chimed. You just finished your 12 hour shift in the hospital as a nurse and you felt tractor trailer ran over you. A scolding hot bath, a vibrating pad and a foot massage from Hanseok sounds like heaven right about now.

Speaking of Hanseok, he's been very distant lately. You've been best friends since junior high and you know each other like the back of your hands. But you haven't seen him so closed off before. It's almost as if he doesn't know who to trust. And it makes you wonder how he became that way.

Without pulling away from the steering wheel, you reach into your bag and take out your phone. You glance over at the phone to see a text from Hanseo saying, "He-." That's odd. Hanseo has been just as distant as Hanseok. Something doesnt feel fight. Was he trying to say "Help?"

You drive to Hanseo's office first but they said that he was out for the day. Then you drove to Hanseo's house and your heart bangs in your chest when you look through the window.

You see Hanseok walking around the house with a gun and Hanseo tied up in front of him. He looks to be bleeding from his head. There are two other people there, a woman and a man.

You don't want to see Jang Hanseok go to jail. He's not a bad man, he just made mistakes that led him down a terrible road. Your heart was shattered to pieces when you visited him in jail and saw him in those awful, beige jail clothes.

You can't see him there again. You grab your first aid kit from your glove box and shove it into your purse.

You slowly walk into the house and open the door, careful not to make any noise. You walk into the living room when you heard three gun shots. "Oh my God, Hanseok, what you-."

Another gun shot rings in your ears and a sharp pain struck your hand. You fall to the floor and cradle your hand against your chest to see a gaping hole in your palm.

Taking deep breaths, you look around the room to see the woman with a gun shot wound in her shoulder and Hanseo with multiple wounds in his chest. If you don't patch those up soon, he won't make it. You finally look up to see Hanseok looking at you with wide eyes. "Y/N, what are you doing here!"

The other man stands up and Hanseok pulls the trigger once again but the gun exerted a soft click. Hanseok looks at you with guilt and anger as the man rush toward him. Hanseok jumps off of the balcony and disappears. A soft whimper left your lips as blood spills from your hand and on to the floor.

You take some cloth from your purse and wrap your hand tightly to prevent any more blood loss. You wince as the pain intensifies and make your way to Hanseo, where the man was kneeling. "Can you help him?" He asks.

"I can try. Did you already call the ambulance?" "Yes," "Okay." You unbutton his shirt to get a better look at his wounds. He has a total of three wounds, luckily there are three people here.

You open the first aid kit and pressed gauze to his wounds, making him wince. "I'm alright," Hanseo says weakly. "No, you're not." You snap, angry at Hanseok for doing this to his brother. "I'm sorry, I j-" His hand comes up to touch your cheek. "You two were more like siblings to me than he was." He says.

"Stop talking and save your strength. Apply pressure to this one." You tell the man. "Miss, I know you're hurt but can you use the other arm to put pressure on his wounds? I'll tend to yours in a minute." You add. "Y/N, please. Let it run it's course." "No, I won't. You're going to live, you hear me?" you say, blinking away the years forming in your eyes.

"I don't want to live in fear anymore. I did good, right? Please tell me I did good." "You're going amazing, Han seo. I'm so proud of you." "P-proud?" More tears escape your eyes as you ease the pressure of his wounds and uncap 5 milligrams of morphine. You inject him with it and he sighs softly. "This should ease the pain enough for him.." you trail off.

"I'm so sorry, Han seo." You add, taking his hand into both of yours. He takes his last breath as you press a kiss to his forehead. Shaky breathes leave your lips and you wrap your arms around him. "I'm sorry for your loss, but can you please help my friend?" The man asks.

Wiping away your tears, you nod and made your way over to the woman.

It's 2 A.M. It's been five hours since you came home from the hospital and you didn't get a lick of sleep. What happened at Hanseo's house replays in your mind like some reoccurring nightmare. You wish it was a nightmare. One of your bestfriends was shot a killed by your other best friend.

Sniffling from crying about Hanseo's passing, you blow your nose a few times. That was when you hear a soft clank in your kitchen. Your nose flares with annoyance.

Whoever broke into your home was one unlucky son of bitch. You're feeling everyone emotion besides fear and you have a locked and loaded pistol in your drawer.

Taking the pistol into your hand, you take the safety off and slowly walk down the stairs. You lean your back against the wall next to the kitchen. "Whoever you are, you have five seconds to get the hell out or I'm putting five bullets in you." "Y/N?" You hear Hanseok say.

You step away from the wall and aim your gun at him, not caring about the searing pain of your hand wound opening up again. "Get the hell out," "Y/N, please. I.. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for any of thi-" "That was your brother, Hanseok! Your blood! And you killed him, because of what!"

"I had no choice! Vincenzo threatened to kill you if I didn't." You were at a loss for words. "Don't. Please don't turn your back on me. The whole world can but the minute that you do, then I'm a lost cause." He says, making your heart lurch in your chest.

You weren't aware that he was stepping closer to you until his hands were taking the gun out of yours. Putting on the safety, he tosses the gun on the couch. His gaze fixes on the gauze wrapped around your right hand. You put your hand behind your back. "It doesn't hurt that bad," you lie.

Still unsure of whether to believe him, you thought that it was best to sleep on it and talk to him about it in the morning. Your brain was physical exhausted from work and recent events.

"You can see yourself out," you add before turning around to go back to your room. He grabs your uninjured hand and pulled you into his chest. "You could have died, and it would have been at my hand. I'll never forgive myself for that." You chose not to say anything and listened to his heart racing in his chest.

"I didn't know it was you. My body reacted before my mind could register... I know you're pissed at me but please don't lose faith in me." He adds. "What were you thinking!" You push him away from you and slap him across the face. It wasn't until you heard a faint rip of your stitches that you realized it was with the injured hand.

A shriek of pain leaves your lips and you fall to floor, cradling your hand. He kneels down next to you and you both watch as blood seeps through the bandage. "Where's your first aid kit?" He asks. "Bathroom." Without a second thought, he lifts your into his hands and carries you into the bathroom.

He sets you on the counter and sets the first aid kit on the toilet lid. Slowly peeling off the gauze, he winces when he sees the wound. Guilt weighs on his eyes and he cleans around the wound on both sides before putting an antifungal cream.

He puts a large piece of gauze on both sides of the hand and uses a new wrap to intricately wrap the hand between each finger and the entire wrist.

He tucks away the loose end of the wrap and we both sigh in unison. "We have to get out of the country," "What the hell did you get yourself into, Hanseok? Why didn't you tell me sooner, I could have helped you." "No, you couldn't." He walks out of the bathroom and you jump off the counter to follow him until you heard him scream.

"Hanseok!" You rush out of the bathroom but a hand clamped around your mouth and felt a sharp prick on the side of your neck. You drop to the ground as black wisps cloud your vision and the last thing you saw was Hanseok being dragged away.

Gasping for you breath, you find yourself laying in your bed. What the hell? Was last night a dream? You look at your hand and remember Hanseok wrapping it after pulling your stiches. It wasn't a dream. Someone took Jang Hanseok.

You stand up from the bed and reach for your phone. You thought of Hanseo saying that he our a tracker in his brother's watches. You thought he was crazy but now you couldn't help but to thank him. You look up to the ceiling and say, "I'll make sure you get the justice you deserve, Hanseo."

Following the GPS, you stop in the middle of traffic when you see the man from Hanseo's apartment leaving the warehouse that the GPS led you. "He's the one that forced Hanseok to kill his own brother." You say to yourself. Your blood runs cold in your veins when you see blood splattered on his face and clothes.

Horns honk at you and you park on the side of the road and waited for the man to leave. You rush into the gravel road to park the car. Running as fast your legs can take you, you follow Hanseok's screams to a large room of the abandoned warehouse.

He's connected to some weird torture device that looks automatic. There is a drill that looks to be a half an inch inside his chest cavity. "Oh God," you say. "Y/N," he says weakly and you had sudden flashbacks to Hanseo dying. You couldn't loose another one, you refuse to.

You pull out a knife and pop open the circuit of the device and you cut the red wire which prevents the device from functioning. You're so glad you took that programming class in college.

You stick the sharp end into the crease and pushed the drill out of the device so it would stay in his chest. If you took out the drill now, he would bleed out in seconds.

What kind of monster would do this to another human being? You pull him to his feet and walk him down the stairs to get to the car. "Stay with me okay?" You say when you notice his eyes starting to close his eyes.

He looked terrible. His eyes looked sunken, his skin looked pale and lifeless and his lips were blood stained. When you find this guy, you're going to tear him a new one.

Going 80 on the highway, you were at the hospital in a blink of an eye. "Help! Someone help me please!" You yell as you drag him into the ER.

"Y/N, what happened to him?" Your coworker asked. You wait until he is on the gurney to say, "Someone was torturing him with a drill." You say flatly.

"What kind of sicko does that?" When you don't respond, she adds, "Right, sorry. Not time for jokes. I'll keep you posted." You nod and watch as she accompanies a doctor's taking him to the surgery floor.

Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay.

#vincenzo #kdramafans #kdrama fanfic #vincenzo fic #nurse!reader #kdramas

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fallingforunrealisticromance · 3 years

Text

As much as me - Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

A/N: Hey! I haven't uploaded in a hot a minute and honestly, I've had no motivation to write. I just cant seem to think of any good prompts or plot lines so i'm sorry about that.

This is one I wrote ages ago. It's a lot darker than my previous ones so let me know what you think.

HUGE TRIGGER WARNING: Self harm, blood, knives

***= time skip

Word Count: 3276

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Guys come take a look at this.” Morgan called.

We all trudged our way towards where he was crouched over the dump site, being careful not to slip on the wet road. Winter in Mississippi was never fun. Especially not with an ongoing storm.

“The rains washed most of the blood away, but there’s some areas around here” Morgan gestured with his hands. “That indicates he dragged the body. Now my guess is our Unsub knocked the boy unconscious and then dragged him to his car.” He explained standing up.

“So he’s not strong enough to carry a 14 year old boy?” Reid questioned.

“Either that or he likes the idea of being in control. Dragging the body might give him a sense of power. He’s both literally and figuratively on a higher ground to his victim.” I added, trying to hide the shivers the wind sent through my body. Hotch shot an uncertain glance as he noticed I made no attempt to regain any body heat I may have had.

“Okay, thanks baby girl.” Morgan said closing his phone. “Garcia might have found our guy. She’s sending over some surveillance footage of a man who fits the exact profile hanging around near where the first two victims were found.” He explained.

“Okay you and Reid get back to the precinct to check it out, let us know if you find anything. Take Y/N with you.” Hotch instructed.

“Hotch if you don’t mind, I’d rather stay out here. I think I might be able to identify the direction in which the unsub came from to attack the boy. It might help us narrow down the areas as to where he might be.” I explained, silently begging he wouldn’t make me go with Morgan. I had to stay outside. If I went in, I knew my thoughts would become too much.

"Y/N it’s freezing out here and you don’t even have a jacket on. Go with Morgan, get warm and look through the surveillance footage.” He replied in his authoritative tone.

“I’m fine honestly. I’m used to the cold. I’m more help out here then in there.” I argued. I didn’t like going against him, but I could not go inside. The others looked at me quizzically. It wasn’t exactly normal for me to talk back to Hotch. Yeah we had a good friendship and we teased each other a lot but in the field, I listened to him. He starred at me, trying to get me to back down but I wasn’t going to. I wasn’t being confrontational and part of me hoped he could see the desperation in my eyes. Eventually he sighed and just nodded. The boys headed back to the precinct while I got to work examining the patterns on the floor. The harsh wind still whipped around us and every time goose bumps would raise on my arms, or I would shiver, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. I could feel Hotch’s eyes burning into the back of my neck.

*********************************************************************

"Hey, your guy just got us the location of the black Sudan. He’s parked outside that abandoned house just by the victims school.” The chief of police called. Morgan had been able to identify the man in the footage as our Unsub as well as being able to get Garcia to track the plates of his car.

“Alright let’s go.” Rossi said heading towards the SUV’s.

“Here.” Hotch said. I turned around to see him with his hand outstretched holding his jacket. “You’ve been shivering this entire time.” He stated. I pushed his hand back towards him.

“I’m fine. Thank you Hotch.” I turned and clambered into the car before he could say anything else. My mind was racing. It’s okay, I can fight this.

********************************************************************

We pulled up and sure enough the unsubs car was parked right outside an abandoned house just across from the kid’s school. We’d discovered earlier that from inside the house, you had a perfect view of the school’s courtyards. That’s where the unsub would watch his victims, watching the kids day in – day out, before eventually choosing and pursuing them.

“Okay. Me, Reid, Morgan will take the front. Prentiss and Y/L/N you go round the back. Remember, this guy is smart. He’s used to hiding in plain sight. Check every corner, desk, closet. Anywhere a person could fit.” Hotch explained. We nodded before taking off in our separate directions. Emily in front of me, we crept round the back until we got to the back door. I nodded to Emily and kicked it open. We both charged in our guns at the ready.

“Clear.” She called out from the other room. I could hear the boys moving around the front of the house. Unfortunately, I’d been so wrapped in my own head I hadn’t noticed the Unsub in the corner of the room. He was too quick for me, knocking me to the ground causing my gun to drop to the floor.

“Get up.” He hissed. “I said get up.” He grabbed me by the hair and yanked me up right.

“Y/L/N are you clear?” I heard Hotch’s voice come over the coms. “Agent?” He asked again when I didn’t reply, his voice sounding more desperate. “Has anyone got eyes on Y/N?” He yelled. I could hear them all frantically searching the rooms until Morgan eventually burst through the door of where I was.

“Hotch in here.” He called out. The unsub had me held close against him, a knife throat. “Jeffery Adams. FBI. Lower your weapon and let her go.” Morgan instructed his voice never wavering from his harsh tone. His gun was pointed directly at us but the way I was positioned, he’d have to shoot me to get to the unsub. Jeffery let out a sickening laugh.

“Now come on, you know I can’t do that. This is not how that works.” He sneered. I could see Hotch’s grip tightening on his pistol, his knuckles turning white. “Did I hit a nerve?” Jeffery said clearly having noticed hotch as well. “This one special is she?” His breath fanned uncomfortable across the back of my neck. “Well, she can’t be that useful, she didn’t even see me when she walked in.” He continued.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I hissed, struggling slightly in his grip. He applied a little bit more pressure to the knife causing the others to move forward slightly.

“Now now, you don’t wanna start moving sugar. Or you’ll be dead before you know it.” I swallowed nervously. I could feel my skin pressing into the cool metal of the blade as I did. However, at this moment in time, the knife to my throat wasn’t what was scaring me. All the thoughts I’d been trying to push back throughout this case suddenly came flooding to the front of my mind. I’d lost.

“I’m warning you. Drop your weapon.” Morgan insisted once again, his voice getting harsher. “

No.” Jefferey replied. He applied a little bit more pressure and I suddenly felt something wet slide down my throat. Blood. I let my eyes close, embracing the feeling. Without warning Hotch shot Jeffery in the leg, multiple times, causing him to collapse behind me. My eyes shot open, and Morgan rushed to my side. I looked at the ground to see Hotch, kneeling on Jeffery’s back cuffing him. My hands were trembling. I slowly lifted them to my throat. Blood covered my fingers. Shit.

“Y/N. Hey look at me.” I heard Morgan’s voice call out, but it sounded like he was miles away. The wound wasn’t deep. It hadn’t damaged anything and certainly wasn’t life threatening. But this is how it began. It was all a downwards spiral from here. Tears slipped from my eyes. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to get outside. Without thinking, I rushed past Derek, past all the other officers. I ran until I was outside and even then I couldn’t stop. I could hear people calling my name, but I couldn’t focus. The cold air stung my wound, but I didn’t care. I kept running until my legs eventually gave up causing me to collapse to the floor, sobbing hysterically. I stared down at my trembling hands still covered in my blood. Footsteps came up from behind me and soon enough Aaron was crouched down in front of me.

“Y/N. Listen to me. It’s hotch. Focus on my voice. You’re okay. Jeffery’s gone. Your safe.” He said placing his hands on my shoulders. “

No, no NO.” I shouted shaking his hands off of me. “I’M NOT SAFE. I’M NOT OKAY. I THOUGHT I COULD BEAT IT. BUT I CAN’T STOP IT. I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK THERE HOTCH PLEASE.” I yelled hysterically. I’m positive the rest of the team, as well as the local police force, were all watching me, but I didn’t have the effort to care.

“Go where Eden?” Hotch asked, his voice riddled with concern.

“Please. I’m so scarred. Don’t let me go back there.” I begged breathlessly.

“What are you scared of? Y/N please, help me understand. What is scaring you this much?” He pleaded.

“Myself.” I said before falling into him and sobbing even more. I felt him wrap his arms around me protectively. He gently stroked my hair and just held me. I cried until there was nothing left. I felt so drained. Emotionally, physically, mentally. All of it was gone. When I eventually pulled away I looked down at my hands. The blood had dried but they were still trembling. Hotch placed his hands over mine. For the first time that night, I looked him in the eyes. The emotion he held in them hurt my heart. I hadn’t meant to upset him; I just couldn’t deal with my head anymore.

“I’m sorry.” Was all I could manage.

“Don’t be.” Was his reply.

I felt Morgan beside me as him and Hotch lifted me to my feet. Whatever happened after that was a blur.

**********************************************************************

The next thing I knew I was sat on the jet, surrounded by a deafening silence. Not even Reid was talking. Hotch was sat next to me but refused to look at me. The blood had been cleared from my hands and I could feel something on my throat. I lifted my hands to touch it and felt a bandage.

“Leave it alone.” Hotch’s stern voice said from next to me. I glanced over at him, but his eyes were securely fixated on the files in front of him. I put my hands back into my lap and starred out the window the rest of the journey home.

**********************************************************************

By the time we got back to Quantico the atmosphere was, tense, to say the least. Pretty much everyone had seen my little meltdown except JJ as she was back at the precinct and Garcia seeing as she rarely leaves Quantico. I was fully prepared to lose my job. I hadn’t explained to them what I meant when I said I was scared of myself, but I knew once I had, they wouldn’t see me fit for the job. That’s the issue with these sorts of things, when people find out they suddenly believe that everything you ever do is because of it. I’d gotten pretty used to being kicked to the curb for this over the years and today wasn’t going to be any different. We all trudged our way into the bullpen in silence. The only thing any of us had to talk about was me and no one wanted to be the person to bring it up first. Hotch didn’t leave my side the entire time. When I reached my desk, I didn’t even bother putting my stuff down. I just started to clear everything up, that way it would be easier for me to collect my things when I had to leave.

“What are you doing?” Hotch asked.

“Clearing my desk. While I have you here you’re probably going to want these.” I reached for my badge and gun and held them out to him. Everyone had turned to watch me yet again.

“Your leaving?” Reid asked hesitantly.

“She thinks I’m going to fire her.” Hotch responded never breaking eye contact with me. I let the silence hang for a bit.

“We both know how this is going to end Hotch.” I replied.

“You haven’t even explained your situation to me yet.” He answered instantly, as if he’d been preparing for this conversation.

“At this point I don’t think I have to. Your smart enough to figure it out.” I said my voice lacking emotion.

“I have an idea. But I could be wrong. And either way, this is yours to talk about. I can’t make assumptions. So, keep hold of those.” He looked down at my badge and gun. “Put your stuff down and meet me in my office.” He said before turning and walking up the stairs. I sighed. Why did he feel the need to delay the inevitable? I did as he said and shortly followed after him up the stairs.

“Hey, pretty girl.” Morgan called after me. I turned to face him. “You know we love you right?” I gave him a small smile.

“Always.” I replied before entering Hotch’s office.

**********************************************************************

“Have a seat.” He gestured to the seat opposite his desk. I was expecting him to sit in his normal seat, but he took the one beside me. This was surprisingly informal for the firing of one of your employees. “So, I’m not going to dance around the issue. I do have a question for you though.” He began. I couldn’t look him in the eyes, so I focused on his hands. How he barley fidgeted with them when talking yet he would occasionally run his thumb over across his middle finger to his pointer finger. “When I asked you what you were so afraid of, you said yourself.” I nodded at his words. “Why would you say that?” He pressed. I took a deep breath.

“Because it’s true.” Due to his lack of response, I could tell that he wanted me to explain. “As you have probably figured out by now, I hurt myself. Or at least I used to. I haven’t done it in ages. I was going through a real rough patch a couple years back. Nothing seemed to be helping me so I did the last thing I could think of.” I explained. He nodded, silently telling me to continue. “I didn’t wanna die, you know? I knew the pain would end; I just didn’t know when. So, I found a temporary solution. Anyway, I got the help I needed, and I pulled through it. I’ve been clean for at least 10 months now.” I spoke. “But I have these moments, it’s part of the recovery, where all I think about is hurting myself again. But I don’t wanna do that. It didn’t help then, and I know it won’t now. But my thoughts can get too much sometimes. So” I took another deep breath. “I found ways to deal with it. Simple things that wouldn’t cause permanent or any proper harm to me, but enough to quite my thoughts. That’s why today-“

“You wanted to stay outside. And why you refused my jacket.” Hotch concluded. I nodded.

“The cold was my distraction. It hurt, but I wasn’t really causing harm to myself.” I could see in his eyes he understood. But I couldn’t tell whether or not he thought I was fit to continue working here. He’s very good at hiding emotions when he tries hard enough. “The gaps between these feelings are getting bigger. Which is a good thing, it means I’m fighting it. But today. Things were getting a bit much. And then when I had the blade to my throat and my blood started running down my neck – it just all got a bit too much.” I explained leaning back in my chair.

“It brought back everything you’d been trying to push past.” Hotch spoke.

“Exactly.” We sat in silence for a few moments. “I want you to know Hotch, this has never effected my job before. I’ve been shot, I’ve been cut you know. And it’s never effected how I get the job done before. Just tonight, I’m not sure. I would never put myself in harms way just in the hopes I might get hurt. I promise you that. But.” I sighed. “I understand why you have to let me go.” He didn’t respond. He just sat there and fidgeted with his hands, starring at the wall ahead of him. There was nothing more for me to say so I sat and waited.

“No.” He said after a while. I shot him a puzzled look. His eyes locked with mine. “No. I’m not firing you.” He stated.

“Y-you’re not?” I stuttered.

“What kind of a man would I be to just turn you away. Especially when your such an asset to the team. You’ve proven to me countless times your able to do your job while fighting your own demons so why now, just because I know the truth, would I turn you away?” He questioned. I just shrugged my shoulders unable to believe what I was hearing. “Look, Y/N” He took my hands in his and slowly caressed the back on them with his thumb. “I am so sorry that you’ve had to go through this. But just know that from now on, you won’t have to face it alone. None of us are going see you as a lesser person than us or treat you like one. If it becomes an issue again, talk to one of us. Come and find me whenever you need, I’ll- We’ll help you through it. If you need time to sort things out, just let me know. If you want to just get thrown straight into work let me know. I’m here for you.” His words brought tears to my eyes.

“No one’s ever cared as much as you. Thank you.” I said in a hushed tone.

“Well, no one’s ever loved you as much as I do.” He said with a faint smile on his face as he looked down at our hands. I starred at him in shock. He loved me? Hotch also clicked on what he’d just said and stood up immediately, running his fingers through his hair. “Shit. I am so sorry. That was inappropriate.” He said his face turning red.

“Did you mean it?” I asked standing up as well.

“Well ye- no- i- its-“ I watched as he fumbled over his words. He eventually let out a sigh. “Yes. I do. But I really shouldn’t have told you like that. If you feel I’ve taken advantage over your vulnerability than I’m sorry. I know I’m your boss. I shouldn’t even feel the way I do, but I do.” He rambled as he paced back and forth.

“Hotch.” I called slightly amused. He ignored me and continued to pace. “Hotch?” Again no response. “Aaron.” I said standing in front of him and placing my hands on his chest to stop him moving. His eyes snapped to meet mine. “I love you too.” I responded with a small smile.

“Y-You do?” He asked. I nodded. Slowly, a huge grin crept its way across his face. His arms fell to wrap around my waist, pulling my close to him. “I’m glad.” He whispered as he held me. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head in the crook of his neck.

“Me too.”

#aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #hotch x y/n #hotch #criminal minds #derek morgan

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yamithediaperdork · 3 years

Text

Welcome to baby land (Ben 10)

it was a tale as old as time, one that had happened before, would happen this day and despite the fall out from today's events would happen again in the future.

A young boy, fueled by fetish desires and spending hour after hour, day after day bringing himself to the peak as he looked at his chosen fetish, only to pull back last second.

Because the boy knows for what he wants, for what he's going to do.. he needs that desperate pent up denial of release to shut down his common sense. to make him nice and dumb.

His name was Ben Tennyson, and up until a short while ago he had been the hero of the universe and earth. But that was before the watch had been taken, and given to his cousin Gwen who had been picked as being a most reasonable hero. with cutting remarks that he would of never gotten the watch for as long as he had had it's marker realized who was wearing it, and being called to immature.. was it any wonder a bitter and dejected Ben cut himself off from his extended family and drove into the world of porn?

never mind he had beaten off a alien invasion, a 'pants peeing doofus' couldn't be trusted with the watch.

Fine. whatever. if they wanted to look at him as a stupid big baby.. that's what he'd become.

He didn't even like diapers at first when he started, but well.. porn has a way of warping a young boy's mind. Looking at picture after picture, caption after caption and reading the stories Ben for all intents and purposes turned himself in a diaper boy, and a humiliation junkie.

Taking birthday money he even found and brought a package of punishment diapers meant for shaming (though he got it at a discount as the shop was being put out of business) that were super thick, boasted how they could hold any mess.. and also claimed they didn't keep any stink from being contained and guaranteed diaper rash if used.

For a porn addicted loser like Ben, this was pure gold and since he paid for rush devilry he got a enema bag and a small bottle of little crampers, the enema for brats.

Ben knew what he wanted, total, public humiliation but he kept ruining it for himself with self pleasure driving the need out of his mind before he could do it.

finally, Mid October the little porn fueled loser decided enough was enough, he was gonna stop wasting his time and the diapers he'd paid for and set himself up to goon. For a week strait he subjected himself to it, and by the time he was done on Sunday night, Monday morning the little loser set himself up to fail.

waking up early, Ben used the whole bottle of little crampers even though it said to just mix 1/8 with a litlre bag for a enema kit, and groaned and whimpered as he used it, hot water and a dash of castor oil in the big enema bag, only his bulky white and black t-shirt hid the preggo belly he gave himself.

getting back to his bedroom and cramping, the soon to be ruined diaper loser looked at the pack of his punishment diapers and having not worn one till today, toyed with layering at first but they just looked too thick.

Settling on one of the bulky diapers with it sobbing crybaby design, he taped it on then tried the tapes, blushing as the package lived up to it's name.

Once taped on it would take 2 hours for the tapes to come back off, he was truly trapped. again a normal boy of Ben's age would of been panicking, realizing they had gone too fair but Ben just breathed fast, and smiled as he picked his baggiest pair of pants and was delighted that they still only JUST hid the diaper, if he bent over his padded shame would be CLEAR.

Getting down stairs and getting breakfast in himself, he was already seated as his parents came down and made small talk with them even as the delightful cramps started to build. (he'd never admit it, well at least before today's events unfolded but he'd grown to like pain, it made his heart beat fast and smile)

Still he couldn't help but squirm and groan a little bit, and got looks of concern from his parents as he finished his bowl of cereal.

"Benny you feeling alright?" His mother asked, coming over and putting a hand to his forehead. "You can stay home today if your not feeling good."

"N-No I'll be alright. just worried about a math test." Ben said, mixing truth with lies,then added: "Besides, you and dad said you were BOTH gonna be out all day today. who'd stay with me?"

"Heh, He's got a point there.. and good on you Ben. I'm proud your being mature enough not to try and get out of a test." His dad said, totally misunderstanding the happy giggle Ben let out.

His father might of thought it was Ben was so happy he was proud of him, But for diaper bitch Benny, the irony of the comment almost made him ruin the fun early.

If Ben's plan had one flaw (well one he'd admit to) it was the fact that he hadn't taken into account how much slower he'd be having to waddle his massive diaper butt to school with the added fun of having to stop 3 times to force himself not to spoil the fun early.

He'd even left a little sooner then normal, his parents had been quick with their breakfast and he 'accidentally' left his house key on the desk in his room and after making sure the front door was locked, went out the back door as you could lock it from the inside while the door was open.

'No getting out of this by running home!' Ben gleefully thought.

He barley made it into homeroom before the bell rang, though since he was known to be tardy from time to time it didn't raise too much attention, get getting a snide comment from his homeroom teacher about gracing them with his presence.

Even better, home was also his math class and that was going to be first period (which was a good thing for the ever so full little perv as his 'chocolate mud baby' wasn't going to stay in him much longer.)

Mr. Fillawick wasted little time in handing out the tests and after a standard warning that he'd tolerate NO cheating and there was going to be NO bathroom breaks, he offered anyone who had to go a chance to use the potty now.

'OK..this is it..your last chance.. you could just say you need to go, and sneak out the school.fill your diapers in the woods and get out of them once the tapes give up.' Ben thought to himself, biting his lip.

it wouldn't be destroying himself in class and getting him labeled stinky baby for the rest of the year, but it would land him in hot water with the school and his parents and he'd run the risk of being seen outside right?

He almost started to raise his hand when his inner pervert took over and he just turned it into brushing his hand though his hair.

"Alright, don't say I didn't warn you. you'll have a hour to do the test. good luck." Mr. Fillawick said and shrugged, going back to his desk and sitting down, doing whatever it was teachers did.

Five minutes later and Ben was in a mixture of heaven and hell. he was twitching and sweating a little bit, his pencil twitching in his hand even as he started to leak in little bursts against the front of his diapie.

the cramps were at the point of no return and even if Ben said fuck it and got up to run, he wouldn't of made it more then five steps.

all he'd managed to do so far was write his name on the test and the date, then the cramps had gone over board.

'Ok..Ok.. this was a mistake.. I've leaked enough boy milk to see that.. maybe.. maybe I can still just.. get out..of..' Ben thought, going white knuckled as he gripped the side of his desk with his left hand as a powerful cramp hit, a low rumbling fart coming out his backside though the sound was mostly muted.

the smell however was not as the diapers lived up to their claims and Kids around Ben wrinkled their noses and looked around looking for the source of the smell and eyes zeroing in on his as he was blushing.

"Mr. Fillawick? I think Ben needs to go to the bathroom." A redhead boy behind him said. "Or at Least can he be moved to the back of the classroom.

"Mr. Tennyson had his chance for that Mr. Randal. and I prefer he stay where I can keep a eye on him." Came the teachers amused answer.

even as the class giggled and laughed, two more rotten poots escaped and there was open cries of disgust.

"Gah, at least open a window!"

"What did you have to eat this morning, a skunk!?"

Ben whimpered and squirmed, he had the whole class basically looking at him now and the teasing and taunts had brought his pervert side back up to full power.

'It's now or never.' Ben thought, though he also knew wasn't really a option. it was more like Now or never if he wanted a semblance of control over the act.

it helped he was trembling lots now but Mr. Fillawick who'd never cared for Ben much since he was a rowdy student only watched with sadistic glee.

Ben's Pencil 'accidentally' shook out of his hand and rolled off the desk and onto the floor, and Ben made a show of just reaching into his desk to find anther one.

"Mr. Tennyson, whatever your habits in your own room may be, I run a clean Classroom." the smirking teacher said. "Bend down and point up that pencil."

"Uh..but..If I-" Ben started, putting the perfect crybaby whine in his voice.

"You'll what? fart? like you haven't been doing that already?" the teacher shot back.

Putting on a show of being embarrassed and scared (he was embarrassed but his heart was beating fast) Ben leaned over the right side of his desk and there was a gasp from the students behind him as one thing he hadn't planned on happened.

"BEN'S WEARING A DIAPER!" Hooted Crash.

"A BABY DIAPER!" a blond girl added.

"More like a BIG baby diaper!" Randal noted with amusement.

Somehow his pants must of lowered enough to flash off his embarrassing diaper! Oh god! for all of 2.4 seconds trued to stop what was about to happen but the act of leaning over had been the final trigger.

as the enema finally worked it's magic and the back of his diaper started to swell up Ben could only hear the roar of his mess and though tear filled eyes almost could swear he could see image of him in just diapers and a bib, tapping a shovel on a grave that had been filled in. the tombstone read:

RIP Ben's self respect.

as the force of the mess made Ben fall forward, landing face down and ass up, his pants failing down more so everyone could watch his diapers load up in the back (thankfully they wouldn't be able to tell what he was doing in the front!) The image of baby Ben came over and looked down with a grin at the real one.

"Welcome to baby land~ no going back now."

As Ben's life was ruined, and he was designed to never be able to get that 'excited' again unless he was crapping brains out(heck, he was going to be pulled from school and his parents would begin his new big baby life, treating him like the baby they thought he wanted to be, not knowing he was just a humiliation junkie) Charmcaster smirked in her jail cell.

Sure having to watch all the events unfold from sitting into of a toilet wasn't the way she'd hope to see the spell play out, not to mention it had been that bitch Gwen she had targeting, but this worked out in the end.

Gwen would suffer being the cousin of the big stinky baby and would likely end up having to change him and it wouldn't be too long now before her uncle broke her out. wincing as Ben started to baby babble though she did have one moment's regret.

'I mean, I'm evil and wanna take over the world but was making him a diaper perv too far?' She wondered, then smiled. 'Naaaah!'

The end

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xuxishortcake · 3 years

Text

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : you are an undercover agent, still fairly new at the job & on the search for two notorious con men, who might be part of a gang in the mafia. it's your job to figure out what's going on but oh my, are they more dashing than expected.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 : switch!reader sub!jungkook dom!taehyung smut , cursing, forced into s*x , cream pie , fingering , blowjob , double penetration

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 3k

hello everyone! this officialy my second fanfic I've written, so pardon if there are any mistakes, grammar errors, etc. feedback is appreciated greatly! hope u love the fic!! ^_^

✧༺🍷༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧

you wore a black suit that was nicely tailored to your body. you were driving around in San Francisco because you were assigned to work there for the day. all you knew so far was that you were after two con men who might've been involved in serious Mafia activity. you kept your ears on alert, waiting for more information from your agency. finally, you got an incoming call on your watch.

"hello?"

"hey y/n, it's seulgi. so I've found the house you need to go into, it's in the Presidio Hights neighborhood. I'll send you the full address. " *ding* came in the address & seulgi continued on. "the two men are Korean with the names Jeon Jeongguk & Kim Taeyhung. remember, be careful, we have no idea what these two are capable of, there's evidence pointing to them being in the Seo-bang Faction group."

"don't worry," your replied. " I might be one of the newer agents, but I've been taught well. "

"ok. we're counting on you. we have backup, but it'll take about 10minutes to get to the mansion since we don't want them to discover us. "

"gotcha. I'll call once I'm done." & you hung up the phone.

you pulled out the message with the address, put on your navigation system & started driving towards your destination.

thirty minutes later, you arrived & parked nearby the grand mansion you were to go inside of. you scouted far away with a special type of glasses to find an entry way. there was easy to open windows on the second story & you made your way to the mansion. going through the window, you stepped onto the plush, maroon colored carpet. finally inside, you walked as quietly as you could, your shoes were designed anyways to be as quiet as possible but it was better to be safe than sorry. it was surprisingly quite minimalistic with decor, the decor itself though being very ornate. you looked down the interior balcony. a grand set of marble stairs led up to the second floor & third floor. you started walking up to the third floor, there were some pretty expensive looking paintings leading up. finally reaching to the top, you walked down the long corridor. checking in each room if there were any signs of life. no luck. where in the hell were they? could it have been possible they knew somehow someone was coming & left? the final room you were about to check was the biggest, the master bedroom. the first thing you took notice of was the huge espresso colored canopy bed with a velvety crimson bed spread. there were also a few shelves with gold items & books on them. you looked through them all, to see if there was anything hidden but there was nothing. you checked in the huge bathroom, nothing. just a beautiful & large bathtub & joint sink. puzzled, you sat on top of the bed. you hadn't a clue what to do next. there weren't any new messages from the agency, so the two must've been in the house somewhere. you started to feel a sudden wave of drowsiness wash over you. was it because of the jet lag? no, this isn't normal. it was probably sleeping gas. you were now barely able to keep your eyes open & saw two figures walk into the room. {shit.} you thought, & blacked out.

what seemed to be hours later, you slowly started to regain consciousness. you were calling out to your watch to call your agency & nothing happened. you now realized you were tied to a chair & stripped of gadgets, weaponry & even your own clothes. you started to turn your chair around the room to find if there was anyone around. in came from the corridor & into the bedroom the two men you were supposed to find. they both were nicely tailored, as to be expected but the thing that had caught you off guard was their visuals. the two seemed to be in their twenties & were very, very good looking. they sat down onto a sofa that was across from you, both staring intently into your eyes.

"well," said the one with particularly long eyelashes "are you going to start talking or no? "

"yeah, we're not waiting all day for an answer. " vocalized the other, looking you up & down.

you felt absolutely mortified. not only were these men goddamn gorgeous, but you were only in the pair of black lace underwear that was concealed underneath your suit, which was now in a bundle in the corner of the room.

"I was sent here to investigate the two of you."

"by whomst?" asked the one with the long eyelashes.

you stayed silent. if these men were really part of the Seo-bang Faction group you could never let them know where you worked at, for your whole agency could be in grave danger.

"still not trying to talk hm? bring out the gun, jeongguk."

your eyes widened, trying to maintain a calm face. jeongguk went out of the bedroom. a few seconds later, he came back in with an old fashioned looking pistol, handing it over to taehyung. taehyung cocked the gun.

"now tell me, with WHOM are you working for? " he spoke watching intently.

"I'm not going to tell unless you tell me about yourself first." you retaliated.

"oh well, suit yourself." he pointed the gun & pulled the trigger.

your eyes we're closed shut & you were sweating bullets until you realized that you were still alive.

taehyung was chuckling. "oh my, you should've seen your face then, it was priceless i tell you, priceless."

"are you going to kill me?" you asked, clearly shaken.

"oh trust me, he could have" jeongguk interjected "we already knew someone was coming here, we just wanted to have some fun. there are no bullets in that so there wasn't any way to kill you with it. "

"aren't you concerned I'm trying to report about you two? your members of that gang no? "

"haha, no. I can assure you we are just simple, cunning assholes, who like to do frauds, maybe a few scams here & there, but we're not involved in some huge Mafia group."

"do you expect me to believe you?"

"yes, I guess. after all, what else can you do now that you're stuck here?"

"so...what do you want from me then?" you asked.

"like I told you, fun."

"what do you mean exactly? "

"to put it simple, a real fun, hot fuck. we haven't had one of those in a while. sure, you can get a prostitute & we have no problems getting any person that we want, but this, this is much more interesting. " jeongguk said smirking, crossing his arms.

"if you do it, we'll let you go. "taehyung added, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers.

what the hell were you supposed to do in a situation like this? sure, you had been in difficult situations before, but not like this. this....what were you supposed to tell your agency? you were forced into sleeping with two men who were possibly in the mafia? there had to be another way out of it...

"listen, unless you have super powers & can magically weasel yourself out of very tight rope, there's no other way for you to get out of this. " taehyung said almost as if he could read your mind. "so is it a yes?"

you gave a slow nod.

"hmmm, ok great. well, not that you had much of a choice anyway but I promise you won't regret it. " taehyung stated confidently. "jeongguk, untie her."

& he untied you. rubbing your sore wrists, you looked up at the man who untied you. god, he really was good looking.

"so, what now?" you asked slowly standing up.

"we need to know three things." said jeongguk. "one, are you dominant or a sub, or both? two, what is your safe word? I know technically what we are doing isn't legal, but it's no fun if you're uncomfortable and lastly, three. can you take two cocks at once? "

"I'm a switch, & hell, I bet I could take two. for a safe word...." you looked around "gold."

"ok cool, let's get started then." jeongguk said while pushing you onto the bed.

taehyung stood up from the couch & walked over. the two now standing over your smaller frame, like two foxes staring at their prey hungrily.

"you suck on him." said taehyung pointing at jeongguk. "I'll take care of you."

jeongguk started to unfasten his belt & you, still on the bed turned so you were horizontal,in a dog position. only pants down, you palmed him through his boxers. you finally pulled them down & revealed his half hard on. he was in your hand & you gave a few quick strokes & took him in vigorously. he let out a low groan, you could feel him already growing in your mouth & started to move while you were sucking. he put his hand on your head, keeping you at a steady pace. meanwhile, taehyung was behind you, on the other side of the bed, palming your ass. the feeling of the cold rings on his fingers squeezing your flesh made you gasp. he traced his fingers over to your underwear & pulled them to the side. he ghosted over your slit, collecting some of your wetness onto his fingers. gently, he prodded a finger up your pussy. slowly moving it, in & out & added another one. you moaned, vibrating against jeongguk's cock.

"oh shit, do that again." he said head thrown back a bit, holding onto your head tighter.

taehyung inserted another finger; now three fingers were knuckle deep into you. you could hear how wet you were by the way your pussy was squelching. you had muffled moans for jeongguk kept your mouth full. you had difficulty not crumbling under taehyungs touch, his hands working like magic. he pulled out of you & you whined, desperately clenching around nothing.

"pull out." taehyung said to jungkook while licking off his fingers. jungkook nodded. "y/n was it? go put that brat in his place & do not let him touch you. "

taehyung walked over to a piece of furniture, rummaged around a drawer & came back with a blindfold & handcuffs.

"put these on him." taehyung said as he handed you them.

"aw shit really?? why can't I see?" jeongguk whined, giving a little pout & took off his top.

"because you were having a little too much fun over there. plus, you like being a sub anyways."

jeongguk & you went towards the headboard. you snapped on the handcuffs & tied the blind fold on jeongguk "don't worry," you whispered to him, starting to pull off your panties & bra. "I'll take care of you real good." & it sent shivers down his spine.

you positioned him to your entrance & sank down on him. you both moaned in unison , the stretch feeling incredible. his hips had already starting to move; you bounced up & down on him, hips sometimes twirling. you gave attention to his neck & started to lick & give damp kisses.

taehyung felt his hard on press tightly against his pants & started to undress. he went back to the same drawer from before & he brought out a bottle of lube & got onto the bed. he poured a considerable amount of lube onto his fingers & sat behind you. he took to your neck & started leaving kisses & bites on it, causing you to softly moan.

"do you need to be warmed up? or do you think you can handle me now?" he asked against you, stroking his cock in anticipation.

"I mmm think I can take you." you said, moving yourself a little so you were in an angle that he could get inside of you.

"can I have the blindfold off please? I really want to see this." jeongguk said, hips grinding up into yours.

"ok, take it off of him y /n." & you went & did as he said.

taehyung didn't waste any time, he moved his cock over your unoccupied hole,teasing you for a bit, & finally slid in. you moaned out loud, tears starting to form in your eyes. taehyung felt girthier whereas jeongguk was longer, you felt so full & it was wonderful.

"fuck." taehyung groaned against your ear "you're so damn tight." & started to thrust.

you & jeongguk didn't move as much anymore because you both could feel him thrusting into you. taehyung thought he'd take it up a notch & slapped your ass. you moaned out, surprised & had tightened around jeongguk.

"oh my god, I'm gonna cum." he cried out, thighs starting to shake a little.

"I only want you to come when she does. " taehyung said as he thrusted deeper & deeper into you, slapping your ass harder, winning another lovely moan out from you.

taehyung bent over you now & cupped one hand around your tit & the other snaked down to your clit. between the deep penetration in your pussy, the thrusting in your ass, one of taes hands playing with your nipple & the other rubbing circles on your clit, you felt your climax approaching you.

"oh fuck- I'm about to cum." you moaned out, barely able to stay in position, feeling as if you were about to break.

"go then. you can go now too jeongguk." taehyung said, his own thrusts starting to get sloppier.

you clenched around the both of them, moaning out. jeongguk moaned out right after you, finally releasing, shaking beneath you. which triggered a somewhat chain reaction & made taehyung release right after, filling you up to the brim with cum. the three of you rode it all out together. cum was dripping out your pussy & ass, glistening on both of their cocks. you all were panting on top of each other, taehyung pulled out & went to grab some tissues in the drawer of a night stand. you pulled yourself off of jungkook & unchained his hands from the bed. you flopped in the middle of the bed, chest heaving with probably the most fucked out looking face ever. taehyung cleaned the two of you off & then himself, then slid right next to you, eyes starting to close.

you had no idea how long you slept for, but you could see that it was still light out. then you remembered you were supposed to let seulgi know if the two were suspicious. "shit!" you exclaimed & hurried out of the bed. you picked up your watch from the corner of the room & frantically searched her number to call her. she picked up.

"hello? y/n are you ok?" seulgi asked with concern. "you were off the radar for hours, we were about to send some people over because we weren't get any responses from you."

"oh, no no I'm fine! I think maybe I went offline since I didn't see any incoming messages until now. " you said as you tried to make up something.

"hmmm, that's odd. did you find out anything? "

"sadly no, there's no evidence of their involvement it seems like."

"well then, I'd suggest you leave. we have another place for you to check out. tell me once you're on the road."

"ok." you replied. "I'll talk to you later on." & you hung up.

you went back to the bed & realized taehyung was gone & jeongguk was awake. "you're leaving already?" he asked, with a tinge of disappointment in his voice. he then reached his into the drawer of the nightstand & pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

"yeah. I need to continue working or they'll think something is suspicious. " you said sliding into your pants.

"awe, that sucks. do you want one by the way?" he asked, lighting a cigarette.

"no thanks, I don't really smoke." you said, collecting all your stuff & putting it onto the bed.

"well, do you want some red wine maybe?"

you paused. "sure." & sat down next to him, taking the glass of wine he had on top of the nightstand.

"by the way, you were amazing. I don't think I've had that much fun in a good while. " he looked at you with his pretty round eyes, releasing a bit of smoke out of his mouth.

"thank you. I don't think I've ever had that much fun before, ever." you replied taking a sip of the wine. "especially with someone rumored to be in the mafia."

"yeah, pretty crazy isn't it? I don't think you expected any of this at all." he smiled. "we need to do this again, if you're up to it."

"I think I would be." giving him a little smirk. "it's not everyday you find two incredibly hot guys willing to be fuck buddies. I might have to fly back to San Francisco just to fuck. "

you heard footsteps approaching the room & finally saw taehyung, standing in the door way in a cream colored robe with a glass of red wine in his hand.

"so, you're finally awake." he said coming into the room. "how was it?"

"I liked it very much. I just told jeongguk I'll fly back to San Francisco just to fuck you guys." you giggled.

taehyung laughed, getting into the bed with you two. " I hope that is true because I'd love to do this again sometime. " wrapping an arm around you.

"definitely. I have to go now though." you said disappointedly. "I'm expected to continue working."

"hmmm, that's a shame." taehyung said sipping his wine. " I need to give you me & jeongguk's number."

"sure." you two exchanged numbers. "well, I've got to go sadly; wish I could stay longer. today was very enjoyable." you said, buttoning up your blazer.

before you walked out, jeongguk called to you "I hope you can come back! " he said, him & taehyung smirking. you smirked back, waved at them & left.

#bts fic #bts taehyung #bts smut #bts jungkook #sub!kpop #sub!jungkook #dom!taehyung #btsv #kpop smut #bts mafia fic

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jjmaybanksblog · 4 years

Text

Sunshine- JJ Maybank

( not my gif!)

hi girl 💕 i was hoping you’d be interested in doing another jj x reader? Where JJ finds her hidden, having a panic attack and it takes a little bit to calm her down? 52, 84, 92, 125 , 152 were the numbers I picked but if there’s too many or you can’t make them all work, you can pick whichever. 💜

Word count: 1,552

Summary: JJ finds you having a panic attack and is right by your side to help you calm down.

Prompts:

52. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

84. “Take your medicine.”

92. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”

125. “Don’t do anything stupid, I’m gonna help you.”

152. “It happened again.”

17 years. 17 years of constant arguments between your parents that ended with screaming and cussing. 17 years of flinching everytime a door slammed. 17 years of wondering if it would end with violence or a drunk mother and/or father.

There was one person who stayed by your side those entire 17 years, your best friend JJ Maybank. JJ was your neighbor since you two were in diapers, becoming his best friend after he asked you if you would like to go to the local playground to go collect bugs for his insect tank. He was always there for you no matter what the issue was, whether it be a boy who broke your heart, your parents arguing, hell even if you had cramps he would be over in a minute with snacks and medicine for the pain.

JJ knew you more than you knew yourself; he knew when you were stressed, he knew when you haven't eaten, he knew if you needed to leave a situation, he always knew if you didn't take your medication. He was always on top of you with your medication for your anxiety. Everyday at 3 p.m. and he wasn't with you, he would call or text you to make sure you took the pills.

He was the reason you were still alive and functioning, the reason you were still smiling even with everything you were facing. He was there right by your side holding your hand when you went to your first therapy session. He was there for you when you had your first panic attack. JJ was the ray of sunshine in the tunnel of darkness that suffocated you.

It was 5 in the morning when you first heard the shouts of your parents. Their screams echoed through the halls, slamming against the sound of the closed bathroom door. You sat in the bathtub, knees pulled up to your chest as you rested your head on your arms. You rocked back and forth softly trying to catch your breath as it felt like the walls were closing in.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you clamped your hands over your ears as you heard a harsh slapping sound and a broken cry escape your mother's lips. The feeling of a cement block slowly felt like it was pushing on your chest, making it feel like your throat closed up with each breath you took. "It's okay, I'm okay." You quietly repeated to yourself, trying to trick yourself into believing it.

You opened your eyes, quickly shutting them again when you saw black splotches in the air; like when you rub your eyes too hard and you see the white spots in the back of your mind. You were too focused on trying to calm yourself down, you didn't notice the door slamming twice signaling that both your parents left you alone in the house.

JJ was out in his backyard hearing the whole thing, eyes trained on your house praying that you were okay. As soon as he saw your parents storm out the front door he hopped over his fence and ran straight into your house. Panic was written on his face as he checked every room in the house, not seeing any sign of you. He checked your bedroom to see messed up sheets and your prescription medication on your night stand.

He ran to the bathroom directly across the hall to hear your broken whimpers coming from inside. He didn't want to burst into the room, knowing that would only make your panic attack worse. He gently knocked on the door, feeling panicked when you didn't answer in any way. He opened the door to see an empty bathroom, but he quickly realized you were sitting in the bathtub. Pulling the curtain back, his heart shattered seeing you in such a distressed state.

You popped your head up at the sound of the curtain moving, afraid your parents found you there. You instantly felt a wave of relief rush through your body, but you still felt like you were frozen in fear. "I feel like I can't breathe." You stuttered, still feeling the crushing weight on your chest. He quickly got down on his knees to become face to face with you. He slowly reached his hand out and held onto your shoulders, waiting for you to allow him to hug you.

You turned your body towards him and that's when he knew he could hug you. He wrapped his arm around your waist, the other holding the back of your head; entangling itself in your hair. Tucking your face into the crook of your neck, you felt as if you could slowly start to breathe again. "It happened again." You mumbled, attempting to stop your body from shaking. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before slowly pulling back.

“Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore." He pressed his forehead against yours, placing your hand on his chest, right on top of his heart. "Follow my breathing, okay? In… out… in… out… there we go, sunshine." You repeated his actions, feeling your lungs inhale the air properly. The heavy weight was no longer on your chest, leaving a small aching feeling.

“Don’t do anything stupid, I’m gonna help you," he said, "I'll be right back." You swallowed harshly, realizing how dry your mouth had gotten. You wiped away the stray tears with the back of your hand and blew your nose with toilet paper before JJ came back with your pill bottle and a glass of water.

“Take your medicine.” He instructed, passing you a pill into your hand. You sighed loudly before looking up at JJ. He gave you a look you knew all too well. It was the 'Please take this before I have to forcefully cram it down your throat' look that he's been giving you since you first got the prescription. You tossed the pill into your mouth, quickly chugging the glass of water. You fanned yourself with your hands, body feeling hot from feeling so claustrophobic.

"Hot?" He asked, sitting on the lid of the toilet. You nodded your head, running your hand through your hair to push it out of your face. "You trust me?" He asked you as he stood up. You nodded your head, "of course." "Okay, just sit there but scoot forwards." You obeyed him as scooted towards the front of the tub, your eyelids feeling heavy.

JJ slowly turned the faucet on and plugged the tub, allowing it to begin to fill with cold water. You instantly relaxed at the cool touch, softly grinning as you saw JJ take his shoes off before stepping into the tub behind you. You reached forward and shut the water off once it reached up to your thighs. JJ rested against the back wall, allowing you to lay yourself between his legs, your back pressed against his chest. His arms reached around your front as he looped his fingers on top of yours. Your body shivered as he pressed a soft kiss to the back of your neck.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine." He started softly singing, earning a soft giggle from you. "You make me happy when skies are gray." You sang with him, letting the feeling of happiness overcome your emotions. "You never know dear, how much I love you." You tilted your head back against his chest, fluttering your eyes shut as he pecked your forehead. "Please don't take my sunshine away."

You could feel your heartbeat find a steady pace once again as you surrounded yourself in JJ's touch. He rested his cheek on the top of your head, smiling to himself as he heard you sigh in relief. "You okay princess?" He whispered into your ear, triggering a patch of goosebumps to appear on your arms.

"Is it okay if I go get us some dry clothes?" You nodded your head as JJ carefully exited the tub, grabbing a towel to dry his lower half off. You stretched your body out in the tub, letting the cool water splash against your torso. JJ went to your closet, immediately taking his extra clothes he leaves there for nights like this one. He picked out shorts and a shirt for you to sleep in, hoping it would be comfortable enough for you.

He walked back towards the bathroom, passing you a towel and your dry clothes. You two faced away from each other as you both quickly changed out of your clothes. You giggled as JJ almost fell over trying to put his shorts on, hearing him grunt in annoyance at his action.

Being too lazy to put your clothes in the washer, you left your clothes in the bathtub along with JJ's. You led him to your room, closing the door before you threw yourself onto your bed. JJ turned the bedroom lights off before joining you in bed, carefully tucking the sheets around your body. You faced him, your eyes slowly shutting as JJ held the side of your face, his thumb delicately skimming your cheek.

"Goodnight, sunshine." You mumbled, angling your head to kiss the palm of his hand. He smiled at you with an adoring look in his eyes, "goodnight, princess."

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thewolfswriting · 3 years

Text

The Dangers Of A Demon Chapter 3

Pairings: Demon Alpha!Dean x Katarina Morgan (Omega OC)

Word count: 2,009

Chapter Warnings: Profanity, Scent Marking, Knotting, Loss of Virginity, Dub-con, Non-consensual claiming 18+ content just don’t read if you’re under the age of 18

Taglist: @charmed-asylum

Divider by: @firefly-graphics

With a snarl, Dean kicked the cabin door open so hard it bounced off the wall. Even though he told the Omega to shut up, she still screamed at him the whole way back. He kicked the door shut behind him before throwing her to the floor with a thud. With tears flowing down her face she crawled backward until her back pressed against the nightstand. The fear grew more within her when he picked up the knife from the floor.

"Did you really think you could fucking escape?! He yelled while taking a fistful of her hair and pointing the knife at her face "Where the hell do you think you were going?!"

"I was trying to get away from you!" She all but yelled eyeballing the sharp object that's uncomfortably close to her face.

"You're not going anywhere until I decide when I'm gonna kill you. Understand?!"

She sobbed "Y-yes."

"Good. Now, get back up on that fucking bed and stay there." He pointed towards the bed with the knife still in hand.

Not wanting to piss him off even more she didn't hesitate to do what she was told. His eyes had even stayed black the whole time.

Keeping his eyes on her Dean growled at the sound of his phone ringing in his pocket. She let out a sigh of relief once his attention wasn't directed towards her, but to the person he was currently on the phone with.

"What do you want Crowley?" Dean barked into the phone.

"Is it done?"

"I'm working on it."

"It's been 3 days Dean. You never drag out a kill. Get it done or I'll send someone who will."

"The job will get done but on my terms. Send anyone else and they'll be dead too!" Dean yelled the last sentence before hanging up not giving Crowley the chance to answer. If Crowley knew what was good for him, he would take what Dean said seriously.

"Who was that?" Katarina asked in a hushed tone like she was afraid he'd yell at her for asking.

At this point, the demon didn't care she heard the whole conversation "Don't worry about it."

---

"We still haven't found her sheriff." One of the deputies said with a tone of sympathy.

He had to be careful to not give it away that he's looking for Katarina and because of that, only two of his deputies know she's missing. The only evidence they found was her footprints in the snow that led to her mother's grave. But Dean was careful to make sure nothing else of hers was left behind the night he took her.

"Keep looking. I want my daughter found safe and alive." Sheriff Morgan sighed. So nobody grew suspicious he had to hide the fact he knows who has his Omega of a daughter. Even worse, he's hiding that those three Omega's that were missing are now dead. All for the sake of an attempt to keep his daughter safe

"I'll find you. I promise." He muttered while gazing at the picture of his daughter on his desk.

---

Dean returned to the cabin carrying a few logs of wood before he sat down on the stool to start a fire in the fireplace. Not one word did Dean had said to her since the situation that took place earlier that evening. Every time she heard the swing of Dean's ax hit the wood, she flinched thinking if he would kill her that way.

Katarina's shivering soon calmed down once the heat of the fire finally warmed the cabin. She buried her face against the blanket as she hugged it closer to her body and made a sound she's never made before. Realizing she just purred she sniffed the blanket. That's when it hit her. The blanket, the entire bed smells like Dean. She hoped with everything in her the Alpha across the room didn't hear the noise she once again just made. To her, that would be embarrassing given she's never had an Alpha touch her let alone have a heat yet. She only hoped having an Alpha this close to her wouldn't trigger her heat.

Relaxing enough she closed her eyes, finally falling asleep only minutes after.

---

It was hours later when she awoke covered in a sheet of her own sweat. She looked at the fireplace which was still burning. She removed her jacket from her shoulders and three the blanket off, thinking maybe she got too hot from the heat of the fire and all the other layers on her. But then she smelled it, her own scent thick in the air of the cabin. Then she felt it, a cramp in her lower belly striking through her. Oh, no. So much for hoping.

"You're in heat."

She jumped as Dean pulled her closer to him. Gripping her jaw he holds her head in place as he, with golden eyes ran his nose along the side of her neck and let his hands roam either side of her body "Y-you knew this would h-happen." She went stiff as he pressed his hips forward against her ass and could feel the hardness of his cock straining against the demon fabric of his jeans.

He chuckled at her words while bringing his hand to the front of her jeans and popped the button and sliding two fingers in the waistband. The arousal pooled in her panties as soon as his fingers came in contact against hot, slick flesh. She bit her lip to keep any type of noise in from the fingers on her virgin cunt.

"Oh, you're damn right I did." His eyes flashed golden "And from the way you smell right now, I'm guessing you've never had an Alpha touch you or even have a knot in you. Now, that's gonna change."

The only response he got was a whimper of pain as another cramp shot through her. She knew this day would come, she knew what to expect, but she didn't expect was her heat to come like this. Triggered by a demon who happens to be an Alpha.

"Gonna make you feel good, Omega."

Dean flipped her on her back and ripped her shirt over her head before claiming her mouth with his. He took the liberty of palming her breasts through her plain white bra before taking it in his hands and ripping it from her chest. The demon was quick to capture her wrists in his hands to prevent her from covering herself.

While squeezing her breasts in his hands his eyes divert to her chest "Fuck, these tits are perfect, 'mega." His thumbs grazed across her aching nipples "Fit just right in my hands."

The Omega closed her eyes as he then smoothed a hand down her stomach to drag her jeans and panties down her legs. Holding her breath he pried her legs open while laying down on his stomach and slinging her legs over his shoulders. Her eyes snapped open once she felt the stubble on his face drag along her inner thigh and his breath ghosting over her mound and his tongue swiping up her slit.

"What are you doing?" She tried to close her legs around Dean's head.

"What's it look like 'mega?" He chuckled against her "Your cunt is just begging to be touched."

The shade of red that washed over her face was just a confirmation of his statement. It didn't matter how much Katarina wanted to deny it, her pussy was drenched from her arousal.

The tip of his nose nudged her clit as his tongue delved between her folds and brushed against her opening. Shame washed over her when her hips involuntarily bucked against his face and whimpered in pleasure. Not once had she ever thought about having an Alpha's face between her legs.

Dean was moaning against her sex and her face turned a deeper shade of red when he pulled back and moaned things like "your taste is intoxicating". But he always leaned back in and continued his actions.

Two rough fingers circled her tight entrance. It was almost like Dean could read her thoughts about protesting as he snaked a hand up her body and wrapped it around her throat as a warning "Come on 'mega" He licked her clit once "Open up for me." Twice.

Finally, he slid his two thick digits inside her. In an attempt to open her up more, he scissored them inside her, earning a gasp from the slight stretch.

"Oh, fuck." The Omega whimpered as Dean curled his fingers at the spot deep inside her.

"Yeah, there we go." He mumbled before continuing his assault on her clit.

It wasn't long until she became a writhing, screaming mess, her orgasm flooding through her body.

"Dean, please stop." She whimpered as he continued to finger and lick her through her orgasm.

Pulling away from her, Dean sat up on his knees and flipped her over on her stomach "Face down, ass up. Now."

It was out of pure Omega instinct that she did what she was told and she hated herself for it because she knew what was coming. She tried to crawl away as Dean removed his clothes but he only grabbed her hips and pulled her back into place before positioning himself behind her.

Before she could turn her head to look behind her he shoved her face to the mattress "It's better you don't see this 'mega." He rutted between her folds and spread her slick over his cock.

She fisted the blanket with tears in her eyes as the head of his cock pushes against her quivering heat and that's when he felt the resistance. She didn't say a word. The only sound she made was a whimper of horror as he struggled to push the first inch inside her and beads of sweat started to form on his skin.

"Please wait! Dean, I can't. It hurts!" She wailed at him when he rutted in another two inches. She felt like he was splitting her in two.

He was starting to lose patience with her "Oh, I know it does. But you're gonna take my cock like the submissive Omega you are. You wanna know what happens if you don't?" He snarled at her.

"You'll hurt me?"

"That is right. Now shut the hell up and take it like a good little Omega!"

The hands that gripped her hips tightened to keep her still as he attempted to again push forward but stilled his movement when her walls gripped him. At that moment his patience might as well just disintegrated. Snarling he slammed himself completely inside her. The glass-shattering scream from Katarina's throat echoed throughout the cabin but was soon silenced the moment Dean leaned over and clamped a hand over her mouth.

By testing her he rocked his hips forward, eliciting a whimper of pain from the girl. Slightly he pulled out only to slam himself back into her. She sobbed into the blanket with each drag of his cock against her. At first, he went slow, but with each time she involuntarily clenched his thrusts became faster and harder.

She wondered how bad it would've gone if she had fought him on it. But then again, she didn't have to wonder. Even though he hurt her anyway, it could've been worse.

"Gonna knot you little 'mega." His voice was suddenly deeper.

The words she just heard didn't fully register until she felt it at the base of him and her eyes grew wide. His knot was starting to swell. As he still pounded into her he dragged her up against his chest. He pulled back only to snap his hips forward and with one hard thrust, he forced his knot inside her. As thick ropes of cum filled her womb he licked a line from her shoulder to her neck before sinking his teeth deep in her neck.

"My Omega." Was the last thing she heard before closing her eyes.

#supernatural #alpha/omega #demon!dean winchester #demon!dean #dean winchester smut #dean winchester x original female character #alpha!dean winchester #alpha dean winchester

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