#i havent been able to get this out of my head so i had to <3

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

#art #my art #digital art #deltarune #noelle holiday #deltarune noelle #age chart #age progression chart #progression chart #finally did this #(i mentioned doing it awhile ago) #im kinda mixed on my feelings about this #but if yalls wanna know about that i talk all out it! #this took forever lol #also #trans #transgender #trans noelle #gotta love transbian noelle ^^

[silenthillbunni]

🤧🐀🌧️🌊

#need to clear my head; #im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn #trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come #nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired #i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out. #like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u #also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my #eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm #bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna #be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk #idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not #sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow #nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just #dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to :// #i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool. #then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway.. #im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀 #im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks. #but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol #im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired #i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do #anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can

[stevesnailbat]

well, the landslide will bring you down

landslide - fleetwood mac

#jim hopper #el hopper #joyce byers #jopper #stranger things #st4 #st2 #st3 #strangerthingsedit #dailystrangerthings #userkenny #usercroft #userjake #userkaisa #userleah #usermillicent #lesbianrobin #mygifs #i havent been able to get this out of my head so i had to <3

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#i still havent been able to get the pic of my entire family celebrating the holidays together out of my head. #my parents ruined every christmas they could. every holiday. every birthday. everything. there could be nothing special #w/o my dad calling my mother a fat pig or my mom interrupting his dinner prayer to call him a lying hypocrite. #w/o police getting involved&having to explain why my dad had my mom in a headlock or my mom had punched him in the face. #we could have nothing bc their need for misery outweighed their desire to give their children any fucking joy #every fucking time. #but i have to sit here&wonder if im in the wrong bc im being gaslit into missing a family+memories we all know damn well #never fucking happened. i blacked out half my fucking childhood&still know thats true. #i have to wonder if maybe-- just maybe-- they would actually apologize for everything they did if i ever called or wrote. #if maybe they would welcome me back w/o expecting an apology From Me. #but then i remember how the first thing my mother said when getting in touch w me after two years was how disappointed she was in me #for not thinking to tell anyone in the family that i was homeless. how selfish i was for it. #how she only contacted me after getting my email address-- the same one ive had since high school-- from family #bc shed been crying to our entire extended family about how worried she was about me so they managed to find my gofundme #&not a single person in my family donated to it-- but they all had a lot to say about it. didnt they. #&somehow i know that theres nothing for me w any of them. nothing at all but more disappointment. #&photos of all of them smiling that i have to remind myself are definitely not real. #bc how many of those exact photos had i been in? no matter what the answer is i dont remember a single one being real.

[lightfulonion]

thank you @skijjiki for tagging me!!!! i love these types of tagging games so much!!

last song: Tokyo Calling by ATARASHII GAKKO! (pls watch the music video. its so good 😭) im kind of, sort of, obsessed with this and i have been listening to it non-stop like my life depends on it. anyway

fav color: hmm im really feeling brown right now (wow! that sounds awful! im not changing my answer tho. brown rules.)

currently reading: im able to read only fanfics at the moment because anything that involves a book and new characters feels like too much work for me for some reason and also like im cheating at my classes in university. both of these suck big butt and i hate being like this but it's true. anyway please read a million times along the way by starsqwub. its a bokuaka fic, it hasnt updated since 2022 and it made me cry every chapter. its about love, its about friends, its about being a weird person in a normal world and, more importantly, its about bokuto and akaashi. oh! also manga like chainsaw man and toilet bound hanako-kun!! and some webcomics as well too.

currently watching: the wall mostly but also dungeon meshi! and ive been trying to be up-to-date with the one piece anime!!

spicy/savory/sweet: sweet <3

relationship status: i was reading a bokuaka fic and i was crying. take a wild guess.

current obsessions: listening to Tokyo Calling and ATARASHII GAKKO! apparently and im starting to feel like reading the ending of Haikyuu!! which is probably a bad thing?? (im scared. i really dont want it to end :'((( )

tagging: @livingonyoghurtandspite, @horson, @clementinethekitten, @pierogish, @alcieside, @mars-matrix, @peachybeesplease, @mangatxt.

#get tagged #guys. we get (got?) the movie this year. really scared to ask whats next. #i had goofy funny things to share but i forgot them while writing this im sorry u_u #i went home to my mom for a few days and i had 'the end of the beginning' by djo stuck in my head the whole time #and i visited my friends from high school and im kinda sad about the years passing. a quiet kind of sad but sad nonetheless. #like 'my childhood room is too small for me now' kind of sad and nostalgic #i have many things in my brain that are rolling around like pointy rocks and i need to get them out somehow without hurting myself #anyway #pretend i said something really funny and truly profound here instead of. whatever that is. #also i have listened to ATARASHII GAKKO!'s whole discography and its really really good #and i STILL havent been able to read bnha!! :(( #i havent been able to be up-to-date with chainsaw man or toilet bound hanako kun and i also NEED to read dungeon meshi AND haikyuu and- #i really love dungeon meshi so far. its so good and i got so excited on the last episode when they put falin's bones in order. that was #so cool. and the bath scene............ yeah. #if you dont want to do this guys is okay btw. im always saying this but i do need you to know because i feel anxious when i dont do them bu #also when i dont tag people. i dont want you to feel like that. #onion talks #ok thats all! bye bye!! hope you have a nice day!!!!! #Youtube

[arcanchrys-fr]

wait wait wait hold up

before FR staff publishes any new lore or about about the suspected Arcane Ancient, i NEED to say my fanlore story NOW

i've never gotten around to properly typing it, but i have bits and pieces around my lair lore project all over my lair and den, as well as snippets here on my blog and on my discord. and in notebooks and sketchbooks i'm sure. i'm getting so energetically defensive right now because i've literally had this story in my head and heart for YEARS, and it is TERRIFYING to see how similar it's going to sound now that i'm typing out a summary as fast as i can, to "Look! A shooting star!"

my lair's lore...literally begins like that

there is a meteor approaching the ground of sorienth, and it collides into a great, vast land of one of the floating crystalline terra, and this floating terra explodes into many gigantic shards. these shards were shot across the land in sorienth, each shard piercing the ground in several areas:

shard 1 (the arcaned shard): a smallish-medium sized shard in the less dense zone of the starwood strand some distance away from the Archive

shard 2 (the macabre shard): a large shard the land between Wispwillow Grove and the Emperor's Wake, on the Tangle Wood's side before the staircase before Luminax

shard 3 (the scorched shard): a medium-large shard some distance southeast of Cinderslag, towards the Emberglow Hearth and slightly nearing the Shifting Expanse

shard 4 (the woodland shard): a medium shard hitting just outside a [fanmade] town on the nature's domain, close to the earth's domain. the town has a bridge on the outskirts that bridges nature and earth together, and traveler's and merchant's passage that is kept peaceful. north of the Everbloom Gardens on the main continent.

shard 5 (the hollows shard): about halfway between the Zephyr Steppes and Singer's Brook, slightly more towards the Steppes

shard 6 (the glaciered shard): near an icy crystalized castle-esque mansion kept by an icy prince, on a [fan] claimed ice floe of many acres that has access to the sea shared between the Southern Icefield, the Windswept Plateau, and the Ashfall Waste.

shard 7 (the decomposing shard):

i was planning to have one or two more shards. i started to plan out shard 8, but i forget where i wrote it, where i wanted it to have landed, its theme, etc.

at the crash site, the largest shard of the meteorite remained. where it had pierced the earth, it began to pulsate a powerful magical energy that began to interact with the earth it touched. it happened to have collided with an old, old, oooold fae's nest, long left behind and left for the wild to reclaim, but the wild of the starwoods had not yet decomposed the shards of an egg that had hatched, long, long ago. as the meteorite pulsed and hummed, the shards of the egg began to find it self back together, slowly wiggling and scooting back to one another. each little piece within enough distance of the meteorite. where there were pieces that must have been blown away and otherwise eroded, crystalspine, crystal rocks, minerals, and other bits of geology filled in the gaps. the shell of an egg crept its way back to fuse together...and had bored its way down, down, down beneath the meteorite, that had pierced into a small cavern under the land. now a unified, solid object partially built with rock and minerals, it sank down onto the cavern floor, soft metallic sand catching its fall and insulating it.

(earlier, before the crash...) a young guardian dragon, nomadic and native to Scarred Wasteland, had left his family/clan/pack long ago to wander. he had stayed at his childhood pack for decades, watching each of his littermates, younger siblings, and cousins of all kinds grow and gain their spark for each of their guardian pilgrimages, but he, none to follow. a more gentle, patient, calmer, more observant dragon than the most of his plague family. after watching and waiting as each of his chaotic siblings grow and reach their epiphanies for decades, he bid his pack goodbye and became a wanderer, depressed, but quietly optimistic that perhaps he needed to stir something within him, travel to induce his Search. a couple years have gone, when one night as he wandered by the coast of where the Scarred Wasteland and the Windswept Plateau converged, he looked up at the starry sky, idly gazing, and then a particularly bright and twinkling star seemed to be growing brighter with a streaking tail following behind it. a falling star? as he began to understand that something was falling from the sky and was about to strike the earth, he felt his heart beating faster, harder, livelier. in fact, he had never felt more alive in his life. he packed up his small camp and began to follow this star, towards the Starfall Isles, a land he had been too hesitant to approach until now. his body full of jubilant energy, his wings stretching with a new kind of air, his bones feeling lighter, as if full of radiant light itself. he flew for days without a break, not even for food or water. he was still flying in the sky as he watched this great meteorite strike the ground, and kept flying until the knockback of the collision wave finally met his being, knocking him back and onto the ground. the initial wave just knocked him onto the ground with some bumps and bruises. as he shook himself off and stood back up, he could see the second wave bringing a massive wall of dust and debris coming. his heart leaped with joy but his gut sank with fear. he knew, deep down, that this is where his heart wanted to go, that whatever this star had brought him would bring his purpose in life, but this massive dust cloud was dangerous. he had had no rest, no food, no water for days, and that worried him deeply. but he could feel in his chest that he had the energy and vigor to go in. he leapt back into the air to fly a short while longer, before the dust became to great to fly. he landed onto the ground, unable to see the land before him as the mixture of dust, rock, contagion, blue leaves and petals, and threads of membranes were being swept passed him and against him. he persisted. the dust and contagion dried out any hydration left on the outside of his body and scratched against him, scraping against his face and into his eyes. even if he had water left in his eyes, it would not be enough to blink out. his eyes stung deep into his head as his vision blackened, unable to see, and permanently losing his sight. he could only navigate with the direction of his heart and through the touch of his toes. and yet, he persisted.

he could not tell how long it must have been that he had been walking, fighting against the aftershock of the collision. the pads of his feet ached so deeply that they were numb. his beard was caked with mixture of the debris. he could feel his body thin as a skeleton, malnourished, but eerily the fibers of his muscles and bones still strong and determined enough to just, keep, crawling, forward.

he could not tell how much time had passed, only that it was a long time before the rumble of the aftershock began to decline, and sudden, halt. frozen in time. the air felt as still as a vacuum. terrifying, he thought, and he could not stop his feet from wanting to move forward. there was no sound to be heard other than his own movement and the gray noise around him, until he touched something new:

his paw touched a new kind of grass that he had not felt before, that was long and luscious enough to softly poke between his toes. and the absence of noise now filling with the sounds of wildlife, though of wildlife he was unfamiliar with. he knew what birdsong was like, and the sound of wind rushing over plants. he could feel and he could hear, but as he tried to blink the crust from his eyes, he could not. the lids to his eyes simply ached too much to push the dirt and dust off.

though he still felt alive enough to press forward, he finally began to feel the effect of fatigue and lack of nourishment. he ached in more ways he could count, but his heart sang in his mind to keep moving forward, that he had come so far and done so well to have survive, and that he will rest, soon.

so soon, in fact, that the ground beneath him betrayed him, a hole in the ground. he had just enough momentum in his step and not enough strength in his muscles to stop himself from tumbling down an awkward, rocking slope, into a hole in the ground large enough to house him. he tumbled, feeling pathetic that he had lost the traction under his feet as he rolled down a steady gentle slope underground. as he inevitable came to a stop, he let himself lie there for a moment to breathe, to feel if there was anything broken.

his lungs continued. his heart continued, singing the grandest melody he had ever felt. whatever he had found, his Search, was now over. his legs could no longer hold him up, his wings hardly able to cover his body as a blanket. he trembled with these movements, but found himself at peace. his lungs continued, and he fell asleep for the first time in...days? weeks? months?

he could not tell how much time had passed when his eyes began to open. no pain, no strain. his eyes strong and hydrated, but there was something new about his vision. a soft neon pink now gently lit the features of his skull around his eyes. a gentle pink glow on his brow bones, his cheek bones, his snout and the bumps under his lip where his teeth sheathed. his eyes adjusted to the new light, and he felt well enough to lift his head and neck, to lift up his wings and tuck them onto his back, to lift himself upright just with his front arms.

his heart sang: You have done well. You have reached your reward. Look.

nestled away in a soft blanket of dust, a soft glowing orb peeked out. its light steadily swirled with blue, violet, pink, and magenta glitz and gleams, almost cosmic. he felt his heart swoon and lifted himself up to walk over to the orb, the colors and glimmer speeding up as he moved and approached. he brushed away some of the dust, examining, what this orb was... and deep inside, a dark violet, fluid-like object bounced. an egg?

My chrysalis. I need my chrysalis. Please, pick me up and take me to my chrysalis.

His heart gave a hard thump once in his chest, then once in his ears. Then once in his feet, and then under his feet, in the floor below him... No, not below... The walls thumped with a strong, but slow heartbeat. A pulse. He took a slow and deep breath in, and the cave room pulsed again through the walls, through his feet, through his body, into his head. It seemed to be coming from something behind him, but this cavern room was nearly completely dark, except for the glow he could somewhat see on his face, and the radiant glow from the egg on the ground.

I have cleaned your eyes. Can you see? You should be able to find my chrysalis behind you. It is bigger than you.

With a slow turn of his head, he could begin to seem something massive, and polished like glass, only barely noticeable by the faint glow of two dragon eyes, and an arcane egg. He had only ever heard of glass this lustrous when the lightning meets the sands of the Shifting Expanse.

#i literally stopped EVERYTHING i was doing to write this out for two hours #because my lore is so so so so so important to me #and my biggest fear is #if FR staff releases something so similar to something ive had in my head for so long yet ive had barely any evidence of lore #that my lore will become invalid and cliche #that my lore will lose significance #that no one will believe me when i say that i've been working on this in my head for years but havent been able to sit down and write it #due to a mixture of mentall illness and fibromyalgia and always busy trying to fix my life #to get out of this. miserable living situation im in. #my biggest fear is me being so happy and proud of my lore but no one ever believing i created it myself #no one to share my story or my fan worldbuilding with. #chrysalis crackling #flight rising #flight rising lore #lore #fr lore #fan lore

[bmpmp3]

some day i will actually finish all my half finished cover projects instead of getting distracted and starting a new one., some day .

(propose by naisho no pierced, svp made from the midi they provided lol)

#vocal synth wip #synthv #genbu lite #sorry i like. inexplicably fell head over heels for genbu both his fucked up lite and his actual bank #how do i explain that i love genbu Because i think he kinda sucks without pissing off both genbu fans and genbu haters #actually thats not fair his full bank seems decent and out of the volor voices hes not That Bad #he sounds a little worse quality than eleanor (who is personally not my taste but shes solid despite that) #but hes not quite renri level or anything (and i say that will all the love in my heart for synthv renri <3 <3 <3) #(although shes free so i cant get too mad either way LOL) #(but genbu was also the first male bank we got for synthv so i cant get too mad at him either <3 hes an old man) #but like. he sounds like a decent but slightly glitchy utau bank. and his lite sounds like a REALLY glitchy utau bank HJKDSHKds #listen. i havent been able to use utau in forever because i had gotten a new computer a few years back #and i didnt wanna break anything by switching locales so i havent been able to install it orz #and im still struggling to wrap my head around openutau.....i'll get there. i'll get there someday #but genbu and especially his fucked up lite is kinda scratching that itch you know #like his lite is apparently based off his higher range and not his mid range? so thats why hes always fucking YELLING #thats so so funny to me i love that he sounds so odd. fucked up little robot man who screams and whispers randomly #lemme tell u working with his lite specifically. i imagine this isnt a problem on his full because u have all the ranges #but the lite since its one range you have to FIGHT HIM to get him to either stop yelling or speak up HGKDHJds #its wonderful. i love a project

[mephilver]

.

#im very very against crying because it just makes my head hurt and my face ugly #but because im so against crying i havent been able to sleep in months because #i keep having dreams of myself violently sobbing but i have to be super chill about everything #im not allowed to cry im the only one who doesnt cry thats the value i offer to my dying brother #is that im the only person not visibly mourning him yet #i almost cried at the doctor because they asked me how many siblings i had #its so fucking stupid i know #and i feel so bad like i abandoned him but he was slipping farther and farther every day it was horrible having to arrange hospice for him #then he agreed to the third surgery he never wanted to have but insurance didnt cover it #but 3 days later the surgeon did it out of pocket and now hes on new chemo but im still not with him #i ran away and gave my room to his mother so she could be with her dying son and i could catch a break #but it doesnt feel like a break im still constantly on the verge of tears and even though he chose to spend his last months with me #i chose to high tail it to another state because i couldnt stand the sight of him #he wouldnt let me take care of him anyways because im his baby sister 19 years younger than him and its a pride/shame thing i get it #whatever im done now i will always have video games

[dracolizardlars]

fellas I've gone to the dark side (mainstream music)

#LMAO #idk if a.m. count as any more mainstream than Gorillaz who I already listen to #they for sure have had more chart hits though #draco speaks #I just havent been able to get mirrorball out of my head for a couple of weeks so I decided to listen to the album #First time ever listening to a.m. rather than just hearing them on the radio

[bumpscosity]

I don’t think I ever posted abt this but I think it’s funny anyways last time I went to disneyland I went on so many rides that when I got in the car to go home I put my seatbelt on and for a split second I freaked out bc I couldn’t find the yellow strap to pull on 💀

#this happened bc I went on smugglers run and star tours so many times btw #it had become ingrained in my head that before ANYTHING gets moving you’ve gotta pull on the yellow strap #in that split second I was genuenly scared that I wouldn’t be able to get home bc I didn’t have a yellow strap to pull on #this is what star tours does to a mfer #i wonder how often stuff like this happens to ppl who go all the time #sassy speaks #sw #dl #for context for ppl who haven’t been to disney rides usually have a yellow strap on the seatbelts #that you pull on so the cast members can confirm that you have it on and also that it’s secure #usually at some point on my trips pulling on it becomes a subconscious thing #like I don’t even wait for them to ask me to I just buckle in and IMMEDIATELY start pulling on it it’s kinda funny #I’m especially egregious abt this on star tours bc boarding takes FOREVER #bc the cast member has to come in and press a shitton of buttons #so I’m sitting there for like a solid minute tugging on the yellow tab subconsciously like my life depends on it #star tours is a fun one to watch the cast member on bc all the control panels are on full display #i still havent figured out exactly when they take the spy pic I’m sure others have done sloothing I need to look into that #but it’s cool there’s a panel that has a light for each seat and the lights light up if the seatbelt is secured #so you kinda get to sit there and go ‘why did that mfer in the back row on the right not put their seatbelt on yet wtf’ #star tours cast members are the real ones shoutout to all the cast members who have ever worked star tours #and watched me get on it like 4 times in a row and didn’t comment on it 🫡 #I DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE A TAG WALL ​HOW DO I MANAGE TO INFODUMP ABT STAR TOURS ON EVERY POST I MAKE 💀

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

uh oh! worlds stupidest little guy used the wrong lotion and now everything smells like my childhood bathroom and the year is 2016 and its february which means its almost valentines day which is perhaps the most accursed date on the calendar and the year is 2016 and your least favorite little guy is in full blown survival panic mode!

#fuuuuuuuuck #head in hands #i fucking . have had perhaps the worst week ive had in years . including all my time in indy last year #i have not had a single win since . idk. last saturday maybe ? #uhhhhh i dont like springtime its the most painfully nostalgic time of year #and idk why i even have this lotion but everything is dry and itchy so i was like hey im gonna treat myself to some basic self care #and now my apartment smells like my second suicide attempt and everything is horrible actually . into the garbage with you. #im going to stick my legs into the fireplace and hopefully the smell of burning flesh will drown it out!!!!! #that is. not serious. im just like. fuck #i was supposed to go home tommorrow but yet another tragedy has struck because the universe fucking hates me #so now i domt know whether i want to or not #like. is it better to grieve alone in my apartment where i (usually) feel safe #or should i go home and be surrounded by grieving family which is. a whole other process i dont know if i want to deal with #pros. i get to see loki and i am extremely pet deprived . cons. my parents are going to ask me questions about my life #and also i have to sleep in my childhood bedroom a week away from my most mentally ill day of the damn year #ugm. um. yeah #i need to cry but i havent been able to cry in a really long time and i know it would be cathartic #but also its already 1030 pm and i cant spend two more hours having a sobbing fest because i have work in the morning #and i dont know how to make myself cry without doing things that would be even more damaging to my mental state #so instead i will stare at a wall and hope the smell goes away and try to fall asleep. i fucking guess #uhhhhhhhhhhhhhg #im holding it together by a fucking thread and boy is it fraying

[terramassakin]

...

#ok putting this all in the tags but i just need to get this out of my head right now in a tangible way #but i just feel so fucking trapped by my own body right now and have had three breakdowns already becauze of it #for the last month or so i have essentially been cut off from the outside world and even the beings i love with right now #all thanks to my godsdamned immune system and lungs #because since i moved in my allergies have become hyper-active and aggravated my asthma to the point i still struggle to just talk #or even breathe without sounding like a human squeak toy or bagpipe #because of that i havent been able to talk with friends online in vc even though id love to #i cant go outside because that sets off my allergies and im afraid theres gonna be another allergen that actually drives me to use my epi #AND im incredibly limited in my home now as i am very allergic to all three pets whose hair is EVERYWHERE #and worst of all #the one pet i am the most allergic to is our cat Mochi who i absolutely love and she loves me more than anyone else #and she is getting so so so skinny and old and wont be around much longer #but i cant give her all the love and affection she deserves for being my precious Motorboat #because my allergies will very quickly decide that breathing is no longer an option if i breathe in too much hair #and her cat hair will become a landmine of allergies thatll be kicked up whenever that area is disturbed #and my hands are already getting so dried out from all the hand washing #and i am just so upset by this #and essentially grieving the fact i wont be able to give her as much love and affection as i want to before she passes #and i may need to move my computer setup into my bedroom as its the one place that can be kept pet free #and i just... gods i hate this so much... ;-; #like im scared to even try and push these allergies because if they get aggrivated then they make life hell #everything itches and it becomes so hard to just breathe normally (let alone even be able to talk to my family) for like a week afterwards #and i just.... i just want to pet and give my Mochi affection while shes still here #but shes getting so so bony and is having a harder time moving around to even fet up into her cat tree ;-; #idk how much longer she has left vut i know that it'll be a long time before my allergy shots can make my allergy to her manageable #and i just... i dont know what to do and i hate it ;-;

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

#homestuck #homestuck meta #dave strider #mom lalonde #roxy lalonde #hs #strilonde guardian swap