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#i havent been keeping up with posting my art here so im gonna try to catch up this next week or so shfhgkf
gemharvest · 10 months
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Every1 wish me luck I have like 8 attacks I need to revenge and that's excluding anything I could get between tonight and whenever i wake up in the morning and actually start drawing again...... rahhhhh...
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kaihuntrr · 7 days
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one-year anniversary!
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HI. oh my goodness can you believe its been a WHOLE YEAR (and a day, im posting this a day later OOPS-) since i started working on this au? i dont think i started working on the chapters until... the -ber months? but the general brainstorming started now and oh my GOD the amount of changes that has happened while working on this au is insane! im absolutely floored with how much people enjoy this au, and while im too busy to be posting art (im doing some personal work!) i have all the time in the world to talk about how much this means to me.
i've written things in the past, but i havent for the LIFE of me worked on such a long project such as this (we're only halfway through act one of FIVE!) and learning and growing with such wonderful betas and partner (ehehe @mewhoismyself hello there) is just so wonderful <3
SO! in order to make this anniversary special, i've decided to post a little cut/practice scene from act two! this couldnt make the cut with what the plot has in mind, but i figured itd be best to have some nice moments with scott and martyn, eh?
OH! and before i go, the next chapter will be posted a day earlier! <3 im going abroad the day after the original chapter posting date, so i need to rest. i think this back half of the fic is gonna be really something <3
anyway, i wont keep you here for longer. i hope you have a fun time reading this, just as much as my partner and i had fun writing this so many months ago <33
Martyn tried to listen as Scott rambled on about what he’d been up to, how nice it had been to see his friends again. He even tried to let the small twist of jealousy at Scott being so happy over seeing someone else wrench his attention back into the moment, but it didn’t work. The face of Pearl kept flashing in the forefront of his mind, her eyes and jagged scar glowing unnaturally under the moonlight. 
“Oh, and…,” Scott continued to ramble on, but Martyn still couldn’t focus. It seemed that Scott had noticed as his voice trailed off and he looked at the blonde with a tilted head. “Martyn…?”
Martyn gave a grumbled response. His mind blocked out the world around him as he pictured brief flashes of the island, the hollow and desolate stares of the people, the wicked laugh coming from Pearl….
Scott sighed. “Martyn….”
Martyn could still feel a slight buzz in his head from where he was hit. How much blood did he lose back there? He didn’t know. All he knew was that he was glad to be alive. Glad that he was here, still breathing, like everyone else. Glad that he was–
“Martyn!”
Martyn jerked as Scott’s face was suddenly inches from his own. Scott’s lips were twisted into a pout and his eyebrows were drawn into a scowl. “Huh- sorry, what?”
Scott sighed, letting his head fall forward, “So you weren’t listening to me….”
“No!” Martyn said quickly, throwing his hands up. Panic leapt in his chest, making his heart beat faster. He didn’t want Scott to think he was ignoring him…! “No, I- I’m… I’m sorry…,” he hung his head. “I’m trying to listen- I’m not meaning to ignore you, I just….” Martyn looked down at the sand beneath him. Guilt welled up in his throat. He’d been so eager to see Scott while he was away, and before he’d gotten back, and now that he was actually here… Martyn was ignoring him. He was making Scott feel ignored.
Martyn shook his head, forcing a huge smile onto his face. “So, you said you saw your friends, right? Did you have fun-? Oh, what am I saying, you just said you had fun- haha…,” Martyn scrubbed the back of his head, then straightened up, rolling to his feet. “Hey, do you wanna go see if we can find your bird friend? I bet it’s missed you too!” He pointed towards a path leading up to the forest, “Bet he lives in there somewhere…!”
“Um- Martyn…,” Scott trailed off looking after him.
Martyn took a few steps backwards, away from Scott, and spread his arms, hoping he’d follow. “Or we can go down to the beach! It’s a nice day, it’ll feel great to splash in the water a little.”
“Martyn.”
“Or- oh, we can go see the decorations they’re setting up for the festival down in the center of town. You said you were excited right, so we can-!”
“Martyn!” Scott snapped. 
Martyn stopped.
Scott took the few steps to close the distance between them, laying his hand on Martyn’s arm, then sliding it down to take his hand. He tilted his head, giving Martyn big sad eyes. “Martyn, talk to me…. What’s wrong?”
It was hard for Martyn to not crack under Scott’s gaze. “It’s just…,” he trailed off, trying to put his thoughts into words. He was just engrossed in them a second ago, but now, trying to tell Scott, he couldn’t think of what to say. “I… uh….”
“You’re alright, Martyn,” Scott rubbed his thumb over Martyn’s hand in a small, circular motion. “Take your time.”
A small pause fell over him. Martyn could hear the slow ebbs of the waves before he managed to speak. “I can’t get her out of my mind,” his voice spat with venom. Pearl’s sadistic glee, her manic grin, her ever-looming presence burned in his head. Martyn’s grip unknowingly tightened around Scott until he looked the other in the eye. His grip on Scott lessened as he looked away. “What good can I be to protect you, when I can’t defend myself from one person?”
“Who said I needed protecting?” Scott raised an eyebrow, his tone still soft but with a hint of skepticism as he leaned to the side to catch Martyn’s gaze again. He let out a weak chuckle and moved his other hand to rest on Martyn’s cheek. “Besides, you can’t protect me from everything.”
Martyn leaned into the touch, not caring how warm his cheeks felt as Scott’s delicate hand pressed into his skin, lightly grazing over the scar Pearl caused. He closed his eyes as he let out a sigh and drooped his shoulders. “But I want to…,” he muttered. He looked at Scott, his face scrunched with worry. “I don’t want you getting hurt at all, Scott.”
“There’s going to be times where I get hurt, Martyn,” Scott narrowed his eyes and withdrew his hand from Martyn’s cheek. Martyn was wide-eyed, only for Scott to hold the hunter’s other hand. “When that happens, all I’d ask is for you to help me get back on my feet.”
Martyn could feel his nerves freeze up at Scott’s warm hold. His gentle stare and concern on his face nearly caused Martyn’s heart to explode. A million things swirled in his mind as the breeze wafted over. “I can’t help it,” he lowered his head, biting his lip. “You should be protected, with all the chaos going around–”
“What chaos?” Scott cracked a smile and shook his head. He shrugged, letting go of one of Martyn’s hands as he gestured around. “All there is to see is you, me, and the beach. Nothing to worry about, right?”
Nothing to worry about for now, but so many things could happen in the blink of an eye. Martyn could practically hear the sound of the sea princes’ ringing in his ears, the one from his dreams laughing as its mouth opened wide to swallow Scott as he screamed-.... 
No. Martyn needed to be prepared for anything, so nothing bad could ever happen to the people he cared for. Nothing. Never again. 
“I still want to fight for you,” his voice was barely a whisper in the wind, cracking a bit from the emotions that crawled up the back of his throat. But seeing Scott’s attentive look, with the slight tilt of his head, Martyn knew he could hear him. “Can I at least do that?” he pleaded. He needed to-. He needed to. 
“You may,” Scott nodded, giving him a small smile. Then his eyes narrowed as a smirk crept onto his lips. “So- I’d like to see how you fight.”
Martyn opened his mouth to respond- just in time for a woosh of breath to leave him as his back hit the ground. Martyn gasped, blinking for several seconds as he tried to figure out he’d gotten laid flat out on his back… with a certain ginger pinning his shoulders to the sand.
“Yikes…,” Scott teased, his eyebrows rising, complimenting the wide grin on his face.
Martyn sputtered, his face immediately flushing beat red. “I wasn’t ready! Sneak- sneak attack…!”
Scott laid one arm across his chest, propping his other elbow on top of it and laying his cheek in his hand. “Most things will take an opportunity for a sneak attack, when presented with one.” He kicked his feet in the air, as if he was lounging on a couch reading a book. 
Martyn flushed all the way to his ears. “Redo!”
Scott leaned his head down, smiling at Martyn in a way that was almost sickeningly sweet. “Are you waiting for a written invitation?” 
Martyn grabbed Scott by the shoulders and surged upwards, knocking the ginger off of him. Scott laughed as he slipped his grip, ducking under one of Martyn’s arms to wrap his arms around Martyn’s torso. 
Before Martyn’s brain could fully process that, Scott had rolled Martyn over top of him and planted him flat on his back again. 
Working on instinct more than pre-thought, Martyn wrapped his arms around Scott’s shoulders and kicked off the sand. He knocked his thigh against Scott’s hip, bumping him off balance just enough to send them rolling over again.
But Scott didn’t end up on his back underneath Martyn. 
Somehow, mid flip, he’d slithered around Martyn’s torso, ducking his arm again and getting outside of his hold. Martyn ended up with his face in the sand and a knee pressed between his shoulders, shoving him down further.
Martyn was about to push himself up with his arms, using his strength advantage to throw Scott off of him, but Martyn froze when he felt something sharp curl around his throat. 
He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even swallow. He could barely even breathe. 
Suddenly the sharp points of crescent bladed scythes were touched against his neck so delicately. Suddenly the sharp claws of a hungry beast wrapped around his throat, pricking the skin above his jugular. One wrong move and she’d slid his throat. One wrong breath and the beast would tear him to ribbons.
A figure above him bent down to whisper in his ear. 
“I win!” Scott chirped brightly. He laughed as he withdrew his fingernails from where he’d curled them around Martyn’s throat. “You really do need more practice. Though I’d be happy to oblige…,” his voice turned sing-songy as he plopped back on the sand, his arms holding him up.
Martyn slowly pushed himself upwards, staring down at the sand where his face had been in utter bafflement. Why had that felt-? Why was he-? Why was his heart beating so fast? Why… did he feel like he’d just been hunted…?
“That- that uh…,” Martyn stammered, not really sure what he wanted to say. “You’re a lot better fighter than I thought you’d be.” He turned his head to look at Scott, pushing himself up so he was sitting on his knees.
“I know,” Scott smiled widely, tipping his head back and forth, “Do I impress you, Martyn?” He smiled and hummed teasingly, his eyes narrowed in a joyful satisfaction. 
“Always,” he breathed, a lot more genuine and heartfelt than he’d meant to. Scott’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Martyn felt his face flush and he looked down at the sand. Well, he was in this far. “I think you’re amazing.” 
“Thank you…,” Scott said with a shy little smile. A light hint of red dusted his cheeks. He looked… really nice like that.
Martyn shook his head, roughly clearing his throat. “Well um, as- as fun as this was… I was actually referring to- to my gun combat more than my hand-to-hand.”
“Uh huh,” Scott answered with a small smirk, not sounding like he believed him. “Well, maybe I could help you with that as well.” 
“You know how to use a gun?” Martyn asked, more than a little shocked. How… how much did he really know about Scott?
Scott opened his mouth, then closed it. He looked to the side, then looked back at Martyn. “Noooo…?” he admitted, grinning sheepishly. He sighed, rolling his eyes a bit, “To be honest I thought you were still flirting, not that that was a serious question. And now, well… I’m just embarrassed.”
“Oh.” Martyn tried to hide his sigh of relief. It was one thing to just not know that Scott was a capable fighter -he was a tavern keeper who dealt with rowdy drunks all the time, Martyn honestly should have expected it- but it was another thing to not know that Scott was a trained gunman. For some reason they felt different. Martyn felt a grin split his face. “Would-... would you like me to teach you…?”
“Teach me what?” Scott’s eyebrows pinched together for a brief moment, then shot up towards his hairline, “How to use a gun?”
“Yeah,” Martyn grinned, “It’ll be like the time I was taught!”
“When were you taught?” Scott tilted his head.
“I think I was… seven? My parents knew I wanted to be a hunter, so they taught me,” Martyn hummed, looking out at the beach. He could remember the eagerness in his voice when he asked his parents to teach him. He only knew of the dangers through them and the people he lived around, but he knew his heart was calling out to the sea more than anything else.  “I needed practice, like everyone else, but I’m a natural. A crack shot, they’d told me!” He laughed. Shooting a target from far away was much easier than fighting with swords or his bare hands. 
Scott blinked, processing Martyn’s words. He slowly turned his head to Martyn, eyes widening in shock as all sense of his playfulness dropped. “You were a child when you learned how to use those?”
“Yeah…? I wanted to be a hunter, Scott, so I learned early.” Martyn looked at Scott and shrugged, feeling the ginger’s gaze on his skin felt… different. Martyn learned how to use guns to be a hunter, not to– oh. Was Scott thinking Martyn would…? Martyn shook his head and raised his hands up. “But I can’t shoot a person. A sea monster is easy because they’re big and stupid, but a person…?”
Scott had a judgemental look on his face as it scrunched up. He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, resting his head on it as he sighed. “Ending a person’s life is hard, and I’m happy you haven’t shot anyone, but…,” he trailed off. Martyn leaned closer to Scott as he raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you think it’s a little concerning?”
“What’s concerning?”
“You learned how to shoot things, how to kill things, as a kid,” Scott looked away, gripping his arms tighter as he watched the waves flow in and out. “Every life has a purpose; from you, to me, and even the beasts in the ocean.”
Martyn narrowed his eyes. Exactly what purpose could those monsters serve? Being ocean terrors? An effective way to kill humans and destroy ships? To bring fear in the hearts of children? To kill Ren- Jimmy? Why were there monsters in the ocean? Why should there be? 
“They’re monsters, Scott.” Martyn hissed, anger rising in his voice.
“They’re animals,” Scott hissed back, his face pinching into an expression that was almost pained. “They’re just animals….” 
“They’re heartless, cruel, and always starving.” Martyn huffed, pulling out his gun to examine it under the sunlight. Horrible beasts. Disgusting monsters. Murderers. “They’re such horrible, unnatural beasts that every mechanic in the world works to develop better guns and weapons to kill them all.” 
He didn’t fully notice the way Scott shied away from the gun in his hand. “You’re lucky you don’t need to leave the kingdom to see those ugly things,” Martyn spat.
“Ugly…,” Scott grumbled, turning his head away, like he was offended by the notion. “Well, I’m sure most of them would think the same about you.”
Martyn blinked, giving Scott a double take. Ugly…? 
Scott let out a sigh as he stretched and uncurled his legs and arms to stretch out in front of him. He picked up a small handful of sand and watched it fall through his fingers. “Every life is precious, every life is running on limited time. I’m not an idiot. I know things die. But there’s no reason to cut it shorter than it needs to be. ” He smiled wistfully, tossing the rest of the sand forward. “The sea is… scary, but maybe if you had an open mind, you’d see there’s more to it than monsters.”
Martyn followed Scott’s gaze and stared. Was there anything more to them? Surely not. The fondness in Scott’s voice was hard to believe- but the man has never even seen any beast to Martyn’s knowledge. The fond tone that Scott spoke about those- those monsters with… it honestly made Martyn angry. Those monsters took away the people he cared about. The people he loved. People he cherished. Jimmy, Ren… and so many other innocent people lost their lives to the sea, Lizzie’s parents…. The ocean took all of them, and there was nothing to blame but the monsters that infested it.
“They’re monsters, nothing more than that,” he spat, emotions in his chest wrenching into a tight knot that made it hard to breathe. He swung his arm out to the side, bringing his gun up in front of his chest as he rose to his knees, almost looming over Scott. “I know what they are, Scott, and I know I’m doing all that I can to protect you and the rest of the kingdom from the beasts that would just as quickly swallow you whole as they would crush you into pieces!”
“There’s no need for you to be so hostile about it,” Scott snapped at Martyn, his eyes narrowing into a cold glare that felt like icy daggers stabbing into Martyn’s face. Scott stood up and brushed all the sand from his clothes with a sigh. “I understand.” He walked closer to the water, just enough for the waves to lap against his shoes and tightened his fist, as if preventing to lash out.
Martyn blinked. “Was I-?” he muttered to himself. 
He looked out at Scott standing in the surf. He looked… sad. The guilty feeling in his chest built up once more. 
All of a sudden, Martyn remembered just how happy Scott looked with his birds fluttering around him, with the canary nuzzling his palm. Oh-. Scott was an animal lover…. No wonder he-.
Martyn was messing everything up. First he’d ignored him, and he was pushing Scott away by getting angry. Martyn quickly stood up and ran across the beach towards Scott, “Oh, Scott, I’m sorry–”
Scott turned to look at him, a flat expression on his face.
Martyn felt his heart twist, “I- I’m sorry. I- I didn’t mean to make you feel….”
“Upset?” Scott supplied.
“Yeah…,” Martyn bowed his head. His hand twitched out, reaching for Scott’s but giving up and retreating before he could take it. Martyn turned his head away and bit his lip. “I-... I made you-....”
Scott stepped closer and held out his hand. “No need for that, silly hunter,” he smiled sweetly. Martyn took it almost immediately, surprising them both. Scott let out a chuckle and bumped his shoulder next to Martyn’s. “I’m not mad,” Scott said softly. Martyn believed him. He looked… sad instead. 
“I don’t want you to–”
“You’re just fine.” Scott assured him with a smirk. “It takes a lot more than a simple disagreement to make me actually upset. We’re okay, right?” 
Martyn bashfully nodded, resulting in a wide smile from Scott. Was he… really okay? Or was he just hiding how he felt? For Martyn’s sake? Martyn hoped it was the former. 
Scott put a hand on his chest, giving Martyn’s hand a small squeeze. “Just… try to keep an open mind, alright? The world can be… stranger than you might think.” He smiled a little bashfully, “I might have- a surprise or two… to share, eventually.”
“Like how you can kick my butt in hand to hand?”
Scott’s face split into a wide grin, his eyes lighting up with laughter. “Just like that.”
Martyn felt himself smiling, a laugh escaping him as he squeezed Scott’s hand. Yeah, they were okay.
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sigmabateman · 9 months
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thank you so much @velvetcrowbar444 for tagging me to talk about 5 things im obsessed with at the moment!!
this got longer than i anticipated so im putting it under the cut, but for simplicity's sake i'll tag people up here: @nights-decay, @boycentriccplot, @flaming-tsunami, @sourgelatin no pressure though of course!
persona 5... ok i have to be honest ive been really reluctant to talk about this on here and its why ive been quiet the past at least week or so. no idea why. i guess cause its so different from the stuff i usually post about that i feel like, embarrassed? but i started playing persona 5 royal around may and really liked it but i didnt have the time to properly get into it until now and it has completely taken over my life entirely without me even realising. to be honest i could obsess over like a rock on the ground if i saw it at the right time in my life but hands down persona 5 is one the best if not the best game ive ever played in my life. the story is engaging, the characters are distinctive and realistic and i really really care about all of them, the gameplay is so much fun and combat is buttery fucking smooth like nothing ive ever played before, the music is top tier and what got me interested in the game in the first place, and the ART DIRECTION. it speaks for itself to be honest ESPECIALLY compared to the older games. i was shocked starting persona 4 because of how different it is to persona 5 like, persona 5 has SUCH a distinct visual identity as well as tone, themes, imagery etc it is all just so stunning and perfect and i want to live in it. but i think about it so often like literally 24/7 that i may as well be. i <3 persona 5 and i <3 YUSUKE KITAGAWA. he's definitely my favourite character and he came out of NOWHERE but hes actually everything in the world to me. one of the characters ever.
persona 4 is it a copout to say that? i did try and condense both games into one bullet point but 1. they're such a mainstay in my life right now i was struggling to think of more points and 2. it kind of lost its precision and didn't effectively convey just how personapilled i am right now. i originally wasn't gonna play 4, all i knew is that it was more difficult and less good so i thought i should stay away. but if you go anywhere persona-related on the internet (which i would warn against, the fandom is a fucking cesspit the likes of which i havent seen in a long time as an obscure-shit-enjoyer) you'll quickly run into adachi. and as a lover of men with high-pitched voices and sexypedia entries... i couldn't stay away. before even starting the game i had made a d6 and d20 with different adachis on each face so really it was just a matter of time. and you know what... it's not that bad. the graphics were a SHOCKING step down but i find the low(er) poly style really charming. the adachi model is too cute T_T whenever i see it in the game world i just wanna sit with it for ages. i wonder if i could get it like 3d printed so i could keep him on my desk with me at all times... its bad for me ! the combat is fucking clunky espeically compared to 5 and i kind of hate it but that just makes it more rewarding when i can finally stop LOL. some of the characters (especially the main few (yosuke, chie, yukiko)) took a bit to grow on me but its kind of sweet.. its like authentic.. our relationship is growing as i get to know them better... but dojima and nanako ive loved since i first set eyes on them. too cute. it makes me feel so fatherless. its like.. a lot more magnetic than i expected it to be. i love it even with all its flaws. i saw a meme about it being like twin peaks and thats kind of so real. and you know i love a murder mystery... so yeah tldr i like persona now. but its hard to talk about it on here because it is such a big fandom but not like an active one like spiderman or like good omens or whatever slightly more normal people are watching so its kind of intimidating. maybe ill get over myself, maybe ill go silent for 3 months until i get into something new. we'll see i guess LOL
my gender identity TUMBLR MOMENT I KNOW but i dont know.. ive had a lot of time to myself recently and its kind of brought things to the surface that i just didnt have time or space to think about before. turns out there was a LOT OF STUFF i was repressing without even knowing. like that tweet 'im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn'. i posted on instagram "gender around cis people: boy, gender around trans people: girlboy, gender by myself: computer program" and that kind of sums it up i think. can i coin like.. complicatedgender. where your answer to the question "whats your gender?" is "it's complicated..." cause thats me. its just COMPLICATED okay!!!! but my pronouns havent changed or anything so its chilllllll
going to bed at a reasonable time. i phrased that like a joke answer but its true. i downloaded pokemon sleep and now i go to bed at 11:30pm cause at 11 i get a notification saying my pokemon are sleepy and shit i gotta take care of my pokemon!! i dont even know if its doing me any good to be honest like i dont feel much better when i wake up but making myself get into bed and shut my eyes means more thinking time and to be honest my favourite activity is thinking. even if as silly as it sounds i never give myself time to do it. its playing a weirdly big role in my life rn so yeah id say im obsessed with it!!!
this asmr video. im secretly always posting about asmr so really i could just say that, but like, ASMR | The Mortician (No Talking – You're Dead) specifically is such a mainstay i can feel its influence seeping into my life like an infection. this video would actually show up in my recommended for YEARS but i never watched it. gave me a major ick for some reason. but then i got into this guys stuff and saw it again and thought id give it a go and now its like an extra limb. fuck my 3rd bullet point, this is my gender identity. i could not articulate in words what it is about the mortician that i love so much, but i really really do. i am certifiably obsessed. cant believe i made it through this whole thing without mentioning alex. but there you are. yay this was fun :D
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queenie-blackthorn · 6 months
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50% into kotlc, here are some thoughts ive had since the 25% mark :D
@aylin-hijabi @that-multi-fandom-hijabi sorry for tagging yall a lot lmao
first thing that comes to mind thats plot-related n not character-related is prentice. he was exiled 12 years ago, same age as sophie. its so obviously not a coincidence. tho i wonder whats up w him n tiergan (idk how to spell lmao i feel like thats wrong)
also, i wonder just how strong sophie is. like, the way she knocked fitz into the wall ??? thats her not knowing the full extent of her powers. i have a feeling shes always gonna be one of those main characters whos extremely powerful but constantly throughout the series she finds new abilities she has. kinda like percy jackson
im also realizing how stupid ill seem if im just overanalysing everything and my guesses are too far-fetched or too deeply thought out to really mean anything lololol
moving to character-related, i adore dex. he seems kinda spiteful tho ??? esp towards fitz. thats prolly bc the vacker family is apparently rlly famous n shit n meanwhile dexs parents were a bad match. still dont rlly get what that means. i feel like theres more to him. also his crush on sophie is adorable
KEEFE. nothing, just... keefe. havent seen much but from what i HAVE seen, hes hilarious. i remember aylin mentioning that hes like leo valdez in that theyre both hot, funny, and traumatized... still waiting on the 'traumatized' part. she also said hes less major in this book n more major in the second book, so maybe ill find out then
midterms are gonna go wrong just wait i just know it
biana seems acc genuine in wanting to be friends w sophie. but there was one point when she was talking to sophie n there was smth like a glare for a moment ?? idk kinda sus to me. maybe im overthinking it cause i cant think of a possible motive
marella seems cool. in the art, shes absolutely gorgeous, but so is everyone in this goddamn book. also notable that the first time i saw her name i misread it as 'redneck' 💀💀💀
stina is a bitch. nothing else to say, except that she looks terrifyingly like me? except different eye color n i wear glasses loll. i hope to see some character development cause i personally hate the trope of "token mean girl" in books (like drew tanaka or zoya nazyalensky) cause theyre so one dimensional n boring (although zoya does become majorly more likeable throughout the grishaverse books, im hoping to see the same in stina)
irrelevant but the amount of times sophie is ending up in the infirmary reminds me of a roleplay w my friends from like three years ago oml the nostalgia (cause there would at all times be at least one character in the infirmary injured or nearly dead bc we needed that drama to keep the rp going LMAO)
overall, theres not as much to say as there was at the 25% mark. (i feel like theres more i wanna say but i cant think of anything.) prolly cause since then, the book has mainly been abt learning abt the elves' world n culture. i think by the 75% point im gonna have a lot more to say, n then ill post the final update thingie when im 100% done w the book
ill be 75% done in 89 pages, but the last day of midterm is tomorrow, so god knows how long thatll take me :') i promise to try thooo
oh also galvins a bitch but i feel like she has trauma fsr idk shes just giving
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antiv3nom · 8 months
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im starting a new post for this bc the last one was getting Long BUT i got tagged in a tag game by my good good friend @bonetrix-arts (which, HIIIII OMG i gotta bug you on discord soon) but anyways im trying to keep being more active on here so without further ado :]
last song i listened to - where our blue is by tatsuya kitani, i have been fucking obsessed with this song since i heard the first snippet of it in the trailer for jjk season 2 and AUGHHHH its so so so so good i love it very much i have listened to it many times
currently reading - a fuckin LOT of things but nothing much actively. for novels, i'm reading a master of djinn by p. djèlí clark, and in terms of manga and webcomics, im reading hell's paradise (SOOOO close to having a full collection of this one) and marionetta, as well as keeping up with jjk and akane-banashi as they release!!! im also technically in the middle of nona the ninth and wanna keep reading it but istg i havent touched the book in fuckin forever
currently watching - other than jjk season 2? nothing other than like video essays or letsplays on youtube, tbh.
current obsession - well uh. its guilty gear. its BEEN guilty gear. we know this. season 3 shit is gonna be so exciting im really really lookin forward to it, i think johnny is gonna be cool as fuck and the patch is gonna shake things up :] other than that, i recently got elden ring and it's fun!!! i'm very bad at it!!! and im also replaying pokemon ultra sun because im realizing i never actually got to like. the end of the game. or past the second trial. so it's already goin better this run lmao
and i THINK that's it! anyways, i'll tag a few people, but as always no pressure to respond to this in any way at all!!! but yes um i'll tag @electricgnu @tamagoyaki5 @dahldahlbills @eru-iru @lokh @solradguy and then ALWAYS AND FOREVER anyone else who may wish to participate!!!
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meruz · 1 year
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im gonna reply to some asks but not that many bc the last time i tried to type up one of these posts i accidentally closed the tab and lost like several paragraphs so now im scared
lots of heavypaint questions
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@porch-gremlin
its the fan tool on heavypaint!! which is a free drawing app that i love a lot. and the fan tool is my fave its kind of a crutch actually im trying to use other tools gkfdhgsdg but its so fun i can do a whole painting using it exclusively. heres a video of it in action while i mess w the configuration options. u can slide the noise jitter up and down so its more or less streaky hehe ^^
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thank you!!! heavypaint ROCKS!!!!! I love it... its like the only art program ill be a shameless shill for lol
also im flattered you think of my art while playing splat...i should draw more splat i feel like i havent done enough.
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my phone!! I have a samsung galaxy note 20 that I am still not done paying off LMAO.... but I've been a galaxy note user for years. combined with heavypaint its a shockingly good mobile sketchbook.
I'm sorry it's crashing on your tablet... I don't have a tablet so I don't really have an advice. Unfortunately because HP is a small dev app it can be kind of finicky... especially in between updates. I think if you reached out to vaughn ling/heavypoly he'd probably respond though! he seems to keep up with the community pretty well.
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@hellisrealsign nice nice.. I'm glad our tastes match up a little! hopefully that means you don't mind my frequent fandom jumping LOL. I promise to always be true to my homestuck-loving infinity-train-loving self.
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LMAOOOOOO I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME? (covered in blood)
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idk is it worth it to read any shounen manga for female side characters?????? (??) HEAVILY DEBATABLE. on one hand the casual observer would say no but on the other hand femslash shippers are the strongest people on god's green earth and will endure great tortures for paltry table scraps.
I think mha is a good manga but it's still a shounen, some of the tropes they squeeze the girls into kind of suck. I can kind of put my annoyance aside because regardless im still a big fan of cool fight scenes and the power of friendship but I think your mileage will vary depending on how much tolerance you have for that kind of story...? There's an awful lot of chapters afterall. I will say this: though toga and ochako aren't the main characters they're not in the background either. the path of their relationship spans multiple arcs across the entire manga and is both plot relevant and relevant to the greater themes/thesis of the story. it's pretty clear that the mangaka and editorial team are dedicated to giving these characters the time and page space to play out. it's not perfect but thats better than a decent amount of big shounen femslash in my opinion? shrugs
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Thank you! for both the compliments and the concern. but I want to assure you that... to be perfectly honest I don't think I'll ever stop posting my art regardless of AI. I don't want to make this into a hot take like this is an entirely personal opinion and I don't expect any other artists to share my position but: Everything about my art that I consider valuable is inherently impossible for AI to replicate and everything about my art that is replicable and monetizable is not something I'm interested in owning or protecting. (this is also why at the end of the day i dont really care that much about art theft, tracing etc. and i think 90% of the time style theft is just silly)
I believe art should be freely shared and to restrict that is to make art into a product which is morally despicable and moreover uninteresting... to me. lol. I DO RECOGNIZE HOWEVER I'm very lucky to have both more of an online audience than I even want + a fulltime job that takes the pressure off any of my other art to make money. it's totally valid for other artists to have differing opinions on this especially depending on personal circumstances. AND also I make art that is primarily a product above all else for work everyday so im a hypocrite but. yeah thats my two cents.
I love posting art online LOL. I do it because its fun for me.
HAPPY NEAR YEAR!!!!!!!!!11111111
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natsmagi · 8 months
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I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!
BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*
if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️
OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......
ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️
it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people
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henriiiii-1001old · 3 months
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coming back/moving blogs
hey, been a while, hasn't it? i hope you're all doing well! this is my official coming-back-to-tumblr post, but it's a little different than i had originally planned.
i've decided it would be in my best interests to move blogs after a bit of thinking. i feel like coming back here would just feel too awkward for both me and you guys, especially with my now deleted drama post. i just wanna move on from all this bullshit, especially since i've had do deal with a lot of other shit, including college.
it's still @/evrydaygets-darkr, just moved to a different account. i still like the name, so i'm keeping it for now. this account will still be up for archival purposes, but it will never be active again. i hope you understand. (EDIT: changed to @henriiiii-1001 bc of shit that happened w ak recently. see this for more info and this for my official statement on it)
as a general life update, i'm done with my first semester of college!! it's been kinda fun so far! i've made a couple friends here and there, and classes (except for math) were super cool!!! i loved most of my professors, and i am honestly excited for the upcoming semester! ive been artblocked to hell and back though, so i don't have much in terms of new art or writing, but i've been trying my best to get out of it. i also gained a new hyperfixation, which is project sekai: colorful stage (abbreviated as pjsk), so i'll probably be posting abt that quite a bit (btw my fav group is wxs and my fav character is tsukasa :3 ), specifically abt stats and achievements w like song completions, maybe some pulls too!
im also gonna put a few updates on aus and oc stories rq:
for my tmc aus: the big ones i'm working on are getting new masterposts and infodumps for the new blog. i would rb posts from this blog to the new one, but due to some personal stuff i don't feel very comfortable doing that. i havent been able to cook much lore-wise for any of them, but i'll probably get back into the swing of things once i start interacting w you guys again. - for specifically father's duty: i'll hopefully have chapter 3 done soon. it's actually been almost done for a while now, i just need to think of the ending. thank you to those who've stuck with me this far <3 (EDIT: all my tmc aus are discontinued. read above for more info)
for murder files: i'm gonna change up the pacing a bit because i feel like i was going a bit too fast with it. i wanna take my time with it and make it feel as real as possible. it might take me a bit to get fully set up bc im probably gonna have to plan a few steps ahead, which i've barely done. i just need time to plan everything out and draw some shit
i will try to post as often as i can to get back into using tumblr like a true tumblrina (even though i see theyve made some more disgusting changes so yay </3 ), though it'll probably take some getting used to.
i really missed you guys. i'll see you on the flipside.
-henry/thatcher
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shiny-miltank · 4 months
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🌟🌟🌟 happeee belated 2024! returning from the holidays and cramming a whole apartment into a bedroom in the span of three weeks has been uh,,,UH,,,,,
good news is im mostly moved in save for some boxes here and there. I got some ~resolutions~ in mind like keeping up a posting consistency and trying to reach out to people. I always had in mind that I cant post much unless I have a polished piece out, but I think its totally okay to post sketches and ideas anyways. got plenty little headcanons and bits and pieces that I squirrel away cause they're not "good enough" to post. posting should be fun though! and it might help me engage with ya'll too! I got terrible social anxiety which makes even commenting online hard. Im gonna stop that thinking that everything I say is """cringe""" cause there's so many of ya'll I really want to say hi to.
Ill keep on posting my comics, art, updates, stickers, etc on here as well as working on my patreon. Ive also gonna work on branching out to other places like insta perhaps! there's a few of you I know are there and I cant be afraid of every social media site I havent stayed on for the last like....ten years at least.
there's another secret secret project in the works, but thats hush for now until I learn how to do the thing. youll see in due time <3 thanks for all your patience and sticking around! more to come!
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emmabebe0906 · 11 months
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COME BACK I MISS UU😭😭 you shaped my childhood i found your works when i was 12 IM 17 NOW i miss slyth i miss YOUR OCSSS WE MISS YOUUU
:(
im sorry to disappoint you, i cant draw as much as i used to. my body has severely deteriorated compared to when i was able to draw every day, back in... um.. when was it.. it feels like its been so long i dont really remember when it started. im gonna guess around 2020/2021 maybe?? i feel like it was before that but im not sure.
either way, i miss the days when i was younger too. youre not alone in that.
i have a lot of mental and physical problems i've been working very hard to fix, and ive been slowly but surely trying to get healthier. ive been to a lot of doctors and specialists and i even stayed at an eating disorder center for a while. i dont want to go into too much detail about my personal life but the past few years have been entirely focused on improving myself.
i also finished college, so im trying to find my place in the world on top of all of that. i really wanted to do animation/art as my career, i even got a degree in computer animation... but i dont feel like i learned much... and i cant sit in a chair long enough to actually get any work done. its so painful to draw, and even exist for that matter. im in a lot of pain, constantly. it sucks. ive been working really hard, but if i dont improve soon. i might need to pursue a different profession.
i do have a lot of art i havent posted here that i plan to post eventually, but ive been very preoccupied. on hiatus basically. sorry to everyone on discord i havent replied to (i have so many dms but no energy to keep up with this online identity T_T). ive taken a severe step back from the internet as a whole, and everyone on it, i guess. id like to create more original content... but because of everything that's happened, my creative juices arent flowing as much anymore.
i hope you all wont miss me too much. id like to come back some day, i hope i can get better soon. i love you guys, and thanks for checking up on me anon. it means a lot to me that people still care/think about me. heres a slyth doodle i made for you, he misses you too.
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smolsammichowo · 5 months
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I think my feelings on people arguing over if AEW or WWE is better is that one scene from the mickey mouse cartoon where Minnie Mouse finds a hat that is just the same hat she's wearing on her head & the group with her is like "oh I dont know maybe you should try it on..." & stuff ,
meanwhile Donald Duck, is like "ITS THE SAME HAT." over & over.
I'm Donald. except instead of hats, its pro wrestling. Its the SAME stuff. Its different companies & different styles of showing off stuff & different people but ITS PRO WRESTLING. ITS THE SAME OVER THE TOP VIOLENT SPORTS THEATER.
And I may say "Oh I perfer this stuff in AEW" or "I like this person in WWE" or "My favorite pro wrestler of all time is in AEW" or "Oh my gosh that match in wwe was the coolest ever!" but I just like them both in the end because they're both pro wrestling. Its more pro wrestling for me to enjoy. Same with other companies like NJPW, Impact/TNA (so happy more cool stuff is coming soon for them!) , Dragon Gate, ROH, and so much more !
I'm not saying "Oh! You dont like that company? Well you're bad!" You're fine to not like it, I'm just refering to the people who are like "Oh this guy who is super big star is signed with this comapny now! This company is trash now! Its gonna fail & die out! Haha!" & people who always focus on view counts and say "LOOK! This airing got a lot of people more watching than this show! They are failing!"
I wouldn't say that's failing. I would say all of that is pro wrestling is doing wonderful !
In the end for me, I just love pro wrestling & I'm just happy that I'm a pro wrestling fan in this age as there is so much content to watch (though a bit TOO much because I cant keep up with the fun madness AAAAA ) And I just find it silly that some people instead of enjoying it are just wishing the downfall of stuff! I
Also one more thing Im happier that tumblr has longer posts than twitter so i could talk about this!
Anyway heres a rant down below because here's a reason why I havent talked about pro wrestling a lot on twitter
I only mentioned on twitter that I dont talk about it much anymore given on twitter the fanbase there is a nightmare and people are scary (seriously compared to ANY fanbase Ive ever been in , sports fanbases especially pro wrestling where people REAAALLLY dont understand the "entertainment" part a lot of the time can be nuts. Especailly a shame given sometimes I really do want to talk about pro wrestling given its one of my all time favorite things & then I got people who just call me things just because my favorite wrestler either hasn't done much, isnt a champion, or isnt in their "favorite company"
Like bruh . If it makes you that miserable to just randomly comment on someones post talking about their favorite person like that why ya a fan . I used to be a huge fan of overwatch , still love the characters (after all i have two characters, one being one of my main online personas ) & such but I dropped the game because it made me miserable & that wasnt good for my mental health which then effect my physical. same with tiktok. I had 55k+ followers on there, that was my biggest following count on any social media site, but I dropped that shit because I was getting physically in pain from headaches from stress & being upset from that place & deleted that app & my account that had that many on there.
Aannnndd this just is exactly why I dont tallk about pro wrestling as much as I used to anymore. That above me happens. I just go off like I did lol . I apologize for that. But yea, I do still wanna do fanart for wrestlers in the future of course! After all they are a huge reason why I got back into art in a really fucked up time when I was younger in the first place .
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osaemu · 7 months
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life update under the cut bc this is a blog and people talk about their lives on their blogs!
omg okay so its only wednesday but I SWEAR ITS BEEN A WEEK SINCE THE WEEKEND. i have a five-slide presentation due at midnight that i havent started ((its 7:30 pm here)) and math homework due tmrw and im procrastinating bc i dont wanna do them 😭😭
ummm i have to make my queue post and then my mutuals post sometime soon. maybe ill do a selfship one too when my comms are done!! comms meaning art comms from other people but im writing in exchange so i have to do those too. maybe ill open writing comms for money whenever i set up paypal or something idk
kinda sucks that we finally got topless gojo but not the way we wanted it LMFAO,, sorry gojo nation. i would be devastated but dazai my number one pookie bear had the best day ever today so..... womp womp. also chuuya was so cute n silly in todays episode so i just cant bring myself to be sad rn lol
i think its funny how i stay up until 2 am most nights willingly and i dont drink coffee or energy drinks at all. im just built different!!
oohhhh i wanna talk about my irl friends rn. so irl whose codename is gonna be link on here is super cute n silly, she also writes fanfic but not nearly as often as i do. shes an ao3 girlie and shes super into zelda and thinks i write too much lmao which is probably true.
codename elsa is literally gorgeous. perfect breathtaking amazing in every way possible. shes a year older than me and i love her sm!! she thinks dazais very skinny which is true but...... hes my bf (real) (not clickbait)
codename jeanmarco is three years older than me and goes to berkeley :D theyre super fun to talk to and i cant wait for them to come back n visit!! i told them about the bsd and jjk updates today (theyre mostly involved in the aot fandom) and they said they were happy dazai survived bc otherwise i wouldve gone insane :3
honorable mentions: codename cat who got me into jjk (my old crush) left me on delivered for a whole month LMFAO, if it was anyone else they would be blocked but he leaves everyone on delivered so. im trying not to take it personally bc hes sweet but very bad at person-ing edit: he liked my spam post right after i posted this wow i manifested that so hard yall
also codename partay! keeps saying that if i were an animal id be a cat. idk why, i was whistling the other day bc i love whistling and she was like "hannah if you were an animal you'd be a cat".
EVERYONE ON MY SPAM TODAY SAID I LOOKED LIKE RAISIN BREAD TODAY. HOW DO I LOOK LIKE RAISIN BREAD.
anyways thanks for reading my life update ima do these more often now lmao!
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daedalusdavinci · 1 year
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i dont really know who or how many people check my blog for updates on where im at with my writing and stuff but in honor of starting to come out of the fog im just going to like. level, really quick. writing is a personal affair intricately tied to what were coping with at the time so as i give updates for what i have planned im also going to talk about shit im going through so heres your warning now
you might have seen it in the a/n for brothers return for the whole ten seconds it was there before i backspaced it out of existence but a family member of mine died in october and writing- living, really- has been almost impossible since. its only just now starting to get easier.
we finally spread the ashes a couple weeks ago or so now and it feels. lighter, now. easier to breathe. i have his art hanging in my bedroom and im going to see my cousins again in a week and my foot is broken so i have all new things to focus on, and its. yknow. we move forward.
ive written a couple of things between now and october but looking at them they feel... short, and hollow, and i can tell i wasnt feeling what i was writing even though i convinced myself at the time that it was good enough. theres a very good chance ill try and rewrite brothers return and the second robin (i HATE those titles btw), because i feel like theyre fics that need to happen but its also. SO hard to write about resurrection when youre grieving?? lol??? like. someone in my life died and im never getting him back and now i have to put myself in dicks shoes where he DOES get jason back and its just. thats not easy, man. its suddenly become an almost impossible topic. but im hoping, now, that maybe i can finally reconnect with it and rewrite it in a way im actually satisfied with
snow day i will straight up be dubbing noncanon from now on. i doomed myself the second i wrote son of dent and made it so harvey and bruce have to not be dating the entire fucking time jasons a kid and ive managed to keep to that pretty well so far adn find wiggle room here and there but snow day was really. sldkjfnslkdnfsdf its a plot hole. its a huge plot hole. i wrote it because i wanted to write something that felt good not something that made sense and i SUCCEEDED but man does it not make sense. so im just gonna be striking it from the canon and keeping it up regardless.
moving into future fics, though. i dunno, man. i finally plotted out that detective au ive wanted to write for ages but its gonna be long and im scared to start it.
i did read all of damians preboot comics (or at least, the ones on the list i was given) (id read some before and ive read some n52 ones already so this was just filling in the last of the gaps (mostly his origin story)) and filled in the last of the preboot timeline (post jasons resurrection, idc about anything before that) so i feel prepared to write the next installment of the jdau, whatever that is, but i havent decided exactly what that is. itll probably be al ghul centric, tho. thats all i know tho! thats all i know
but i guess. keep your expectations low. im figuring things out. might reopen prompt requests soon tho, and im trying my absolute best
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stagefoureddiediaz · 2 years
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really its because of you that ive become sort of. not obssesed but like whenever i watch the show i just. keep looking at the costumes! trying to look for the patterns in your theories and its become one of my favorite parts of this hahahah anyway, the point is i was reading some of your check theory posts earlier today and now i started rewatching animal instincts (mind you i havent read your costume meta for that ep, i shoumd have done my homework!) and it was just really interesting to see it play out perfectly! specially in the scenes with buck + connor and cameron. like, in the dinner scene buck (buck's in black, i already read that disscusion) but also connor was in check! and cameron's shirt had like a big floral pattern and all i could think about was how that was sort of a reflection on what they would bring to buck after that scene! (which also like, reinforces the idea that the sperm donor thing is a Bad Idea), then connor wearing check to buck's loft later, aaaand my favorite, which i actually spotted during my first watch, was the stripes haha (i also think like half my dash was people going insane over that last monday), and the fact that buck wasnt the only one wearing the stripes, but i dont remember exactly what was the difference between vertical and horizontal stripes rn hahaha because ofc buck saying yes to the donation is supposed to be this big life change for connor and his wife, but i dont know what it all means! im just here chilling and spotting the patterns. idk, your costume theory is stuck on loop in my head and i cannot stop thinking about it!
(and im not even gonna get into the slutty black tanktop of it all and chris's new patterned pjs! thats a job for the professionals)
how did i do? did i get the assignment right? hahahaha anyway thank you for helping me and all of us actually to appreciate the art and thought that goes into costume design, its really interesting to me and i wouldnt have started to learn more about it if it werent for you 💛 have a great weekend and see you next monday!!
jj / babygirldiazz
JJ/ babygirldiazz
I'm so sorry its taken me an age to reply to this! real life got a bit crazy for the last 10 days or so - fighting literal and metaphorical floods and fires at work so I just haven't had the brain power to go through my inbox properly until now!
I adore that you are having fun playing spot the patterns and see if they fit the theory. I hope you're now read the Animal instincts costume meta and that you enjoyed it. you're pretty spot on with your analysis of everything and the thing with stripes is that my theory is about the horizontal ones we see on lots of characters - which Conor was the one wearing in that scene.
The vertical stripes is a specific Buck thing, and they tend to accompany him being emotionally compromised (and invariably ending up making a less than stellar choice). This is really interesting and I've only just fully put two and two together on this (so JJ you get all the praise and gratitude for allowing me to spiral and go on a little Buck costume trawl) but the shooting is the first time we see Buck in vertical stripes.
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And thats big - really big - because that is the moment Buck becomes emotionally compromised in a way that he hasn't been able to come back from. Everything that has been and is going on with buck stems back to the shooting. The shooting lead to a host of other choices that were less than ideal - things that he wouldn't have done, choices he wouldn't have made, if the shooting haddn't happened - letting Taylor into his life, saying ILY to her, moving her into his apartment, etc etc etc. all stem from the shooting and all are times when Buck is wearing stripes.
The ones from Let the games begin fit into this pattern - the zip front denim shirt and then the cream shirt both tie into Bucks reluctance to get a new couch - and the questioning of who he is and what he wants - the fact that he's essentially in stasis - and hasn't fully moved on with his life - leading to him trying out self help books etc as a way of figuring out what he wants from life - this is a trauma response in so many ways and those shirts are our sign - a theme the costume designers are using to tell us, the audience, that Buck isn't doing great - that he is mentally unwell and it's why these vertical striped shirts are becoming more frequent in their appearance - because he's not getting better - he's getting worse - spiralling more.
Thats why I've only just been able to really get my head around their use on Buck in the last couple of episodes - it can sometimes take a little while to figure out what a designer is trying to say with patterns and styles, and this is no exception. I fully expect us to be seeing more Buck in vertical stripes going forward until he either fully breaks down, or until he is able to start healing properly - and I'm pretty confident we won't see him stop wearing them until the shooting has been talked about by Buck and Eddie. Its sitting there hanging over them and this show is all the levels of insane and clever for the way they are using all the tools at their disposal to provide clues and information for those of us who want to spend the time looking.
Just going to sit here and feel even more feral about the shooting of it all than I already was!
I hope you have an amazing week JJ and feel free to pop into my inbox whenever you like - you've made my day!
💜💜💜
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kaleidosouls · 8 months
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hi. (pulls out uke)
IM JOKING but i havent posted here in forever huh, are ppl still around? i guess ill comment on like, whats been going in in the time i havent posted
so a long time ago now i wanted to like, cut off from twitter, so i deleted the kaleidosouls twitter, and wanted to keep my art stuff just on insta mostly, trying to move since twitter is a sinking ship right. then my instagram got deleted for no reason (and so did my pinterest that was ful of refs and honestly that was more upseting than insta getting deletedand losing all my art following)
ive been mildly caught up in IRL/college stuff in the meantime,having da depression, and the exec dysfunction same as awlays like. not much has actually been happening but ive been going acutally all over the place trying to figure out what im gonna do with my internet social media stuff. im looking into internships (other field) and im like, i havent given up being an artist professionally exactly but i think im like fuck it. fuck this like, building my Internet career or whatever. like, im gona wokr on my art portfolio and try to find art job stuf thats not really about how popular my art is on twitter or smth. none of that shit rly matters anymoer. same w here, i probably wouldve delted this tumblr if it wasnt the main like, blog so all my other blogs dpened on this one right.
im not like, done posting art online but ive been changing how im going about it and i still havent found my like, place yet. i did remake instagram, a main one and one for creature/pokemon stuff. idk im figuring out my life but i guess the main point is that its all a mess, and its not a disaster like things are going bad or anythin just that ive been in this inertia of disorder for a long time. im getting old. really tired lately, barely draw that much
i still rly love and am holding onto my personal ideas/projects that i want to execute oveer time altho they cant be a priority rn becuase of stuff in life. i got a really bad attention span so ill probably like, work on smth a lot for a few ays and then pick it up again in a year or more. the SU stuff is one of those. i actually ammaking this post bc i got really fucking dickhead comments and i was thinking of going off but my social media paranoia PR brain is like weighting on how i cant do that bc itll make my brand look bad and immature, and its like exhausting to live like that yk. altho it Is wise to restrain myself from being mean dsgkj but i also think itd be funny to cuss ppl off so :( life is very hard as an adult!
anyway point is. thigns are a mess rn and they will continue to be for the time being. my accoutns got obliterated so if you wanna keep up with me maybe follow my instagram if you want, i keep forgetting tumblr exists so tahst why i post so little on here. i do like postingt here though, nad i like making little blogs. i like ppls tags on ym art and replies. even the pricky ones like, i get to engage my brain a litlte bit adn its like ppl are out there yk? seieng my stuff, rather than just like, a bunch of numbers of how many likes or reblogs smth has.
most of the stuff left on this blog is for SU reclaimed and i still rly like the idea and its good coping for me and i want to pick it up sometimes but idk what to do with it wrt how i wanna present the content. ive considerd many times making a separate tumblr for it and i am considering that Again but maybe i should just quit it and post it here and forget about that. and find a different way to present the totality of the contents of the AU and use this tumblr as a way to just post it like, a 'devblog' (i am not developing SHIT this is just conceptual design writing stuff)
if theres anyone still following thats like engaged/interested in SU reclaimed feel free to comment with your thoughts or suggestions,i guess i could make an instagram for it? but ehh... idt thats how i wanna like, execute it. welp. i guess if i do make smth ill post about it here,i guess the point is that maybe i can try to post on here moreoften, idk, like i want my instagrams to be more tidy and like, impersonal. i deleted twitter bc i dont want to engage that personalyl at ALL anymore as an artist w viewers. not to mention it sinking. but i guess tumblr Is the perfect place to keep that unprofessional, slightly casual blogging artist experience. maybe if i get to cuss ppl out :D but then i dont wanna get harassed later over it. hm.. sucks to exist online tbh
thank u if youve read this far. if youre a mutual (somehow) or a long time follower and wanna know how to better keep up w me since i know im disappearing a lot feel free to dm
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atherix · 1 year
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Be prepared for the most u filtered brain vomit because i havent discussed anything with anyone
Im bashing my head into a brick wall
I POST MIDNIGHT SUMMERS ART AND NOT AN HOUR LATER MIDNIGHT UPDATES
AND THERES FAW LORE IN IT TO, IM GOING TO PLUNGE MY HEAD INTO A RAGING RIVER GOD DAMMIT
Ahem im totally normal about them
Blondie is there, traumatizes cub and just dips wuthout saying anything. I cant decide if i should be happy or upset she didnt say anything, she just left without being weird and creepy with cub
Like sir you come across another fae and ypu just leave, no banter what so ever, you just up and dissapear
FALSE YES PLEASE, i know nothing about false, but the bat and the bombs and i feel like there was some false lore i didnt pick up on because i know shit about her and her character
Cub knowing how shadows work and how territorial clamming works better than mumbo is the funniest shit tonme and i love it
Also cub immediatly knowing something was up and then mumbo being all of us explaining how gods arent fucking immortal and hes been one fprm3GOD DAMN DAYS WHERE HIS FATHER WAS ONE FOR FUCKING YEARS GOD DAMMIT. Sorry im very passionate with this concept
And cub just knowing to leave because shits gonna go down and he doesnt want to be there for either them arguing and being pissy with eachother for the rest of the night. Or them bickering and then just end up making out or some shit, idk man seems like something theyd do
FAE KING, LIKE HOW HALF A PERSOB CAN GO FOR DAYS ABOUT MUMBOS DEAD KIDS ILL GO FUCKING MONTHS TALKING BOUT THIS DUDE, hensees cub as another son because he was like a son to him . Cub was there when scar left and so cub was probably the most he had left of scar and so he keeps him around
FAE COURTS
ATHERIX I FEEL LIKE YOUR TRYING TONKILL ME WITH THIS DEAR GOD
alright ima stop and go collect thoughts with the children, loved the update have a splended night. You amazing person, and getmsome sleep and water
Hehehe this is DELIGHTFUL
HAHAHAHA SEE ME RUB MY HANDS TOGETHER AND CACKLE EVILLY
I love Fae lore hehehehehe <3 More Fae lore coming up, too 👀
I'm not normal about them and I am not gonna hide it <3
Makes you wonder what she's thinking huh 👀 She just dips without taking advantage of Cub and Mumbo being weak......... hmhmhm mmmm
I LOVE FALSE. 10 outta 10 could kick my ass and nigh on unkillable and I love her 😌 Hehehe women hitting bombs around with baseball bats, my weakness
Look, my mans Mumbo here barely knew he could control his shadows beyond shadow walking places and it took him a good 100k words to realize he had a Coven and was now a Vampire Lord, give him a break <3 (it's everything to me, too LMAO. Cub, who just happens to be related to the Death Pantheon just because Death favors the Illagers the Vex are contracted with, knowing more about the Vampire's magic than the Vampire himself hgfkk)
YESSSSSSS Mumbo immediately realizing HEY GRIAN THERE IS A FLAW WITH YOUR LOGIC hjkfdjksjk look, I am so glad because I am too. Just because you became a god, sir, does not make you a walking deus ex machina 😔
Cub like ✌ "im out" bc he don't want no part of that LMAO
HJGDJHGDKJFJK I LOVE THE FAE KING SO MUCH just ask Belle I have gone on entire tangents about him <3 Also thank Belle because they managed to threaten talk me out of a certain plotline LMAO Yesss Cub is like another son to him. Bonus son as it were. And you're right, Cub was there when Scar was not 😔
YEAH COURTS. Which I feel like I still haven't fully explained but that's neither here nor there 😌
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
Thank you so much <3 your words are much appreciated :D I had fun writing it <3 I did sleep and I have plenty of water thanku <3
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