#i hit stream-of-consciousness at some point and just went with it

[blackcherryvelvet0909]

Morning Surf (Jack x GN!Reader)

You yawned again as your feet hit the sand, arms stretched above your head, a sigh to follow as your back softly popped. Your hands came down to wipe the remaining crusts from your eyes, still partly drooped as you tried to wake up. Honestly, you could only remember half the trek down here - really didn’t remember dressing yourself, either. Your consciousness finally awakened to the sound of the waves ahead of you. The sky was dusted with a few thin clouds, the sun hung high enough to be just past daybreak. Aside from yourself, there was nary a soul on the beach. 

“Do you need a break?” Ah, yes, in your sleepy haze you almost forgot your companions behind you. While Jamil brushed past, Jack remained at your side, surfboard tucked under his large bicep. “We’ve been walking for a while now. There’s a bench over there - you can rest if you need to.” 

“No, it’s okay,” you assured with a tired smile. “I can make it to one of the lounge chairs. I’ll set up there to rest.” 

“If you’re sure.” As you began to walk again, Jack remained beside you. “I’ll walk with you, just in case. I don’t want you falling and hurting yourself.”

“Geez, just carry them at this rate.” You glanced over to Ace, who just finished rolling his eyes. “What’re you, some wolf in shining armor?” 

“Lay off, Ace,” Jack grumbled with an eyeroll of his own. 

“Your attitude towards such chivalry shows just how less of a gentleman you are, Ace.” Sebek appeared from behind the redhead, a smug smile upon his face as he peered down at the boy. “Not to mention your maturity.” 

“And what do you know, Mr. Loudmouth, Killer of Eardrums?” To anticipate a fight between the two this early wouldn’t be so brash, you thought. You watched Ace develop a smirk of his own as he eyed Sebek’s own board. “Why do you have a board, anyway? Don’t tell me you’re going to try and surf?” 

Sebek scoffed. “I’ll have you know that I have ‘surfed’ many times in my life - since I was a boy, in fact!” 

“Oh really?” Ace challenged. “What did you do, huh? Use one of those baby paddle boards to float down a stream?” 

“No.” That arrogance came back full force as Sebek puffed out his chest. “Master Lilia escorted Silver and I to Briar Valley’s coast multiple times a year. Not only would he have us swim against the most violent of currents, but also taught us how to balance above them on wooden boards. Why, I recall many times where we would engage in combat atop those rickety wooden planks! Not every trip was met with calm weather, either.”

“That must have been really hard to do,” you commented. 

“Indeed, but it was worth the effort.” Sebek almost resembled a little boy that had just been praised for a job well done. “Thanks to Master Lilia, I am stronger than any mere human.” 

“Even with the hardship, it must have been nice to spend time with him and Silver like that.” You wondered if Malleus ever went with them on those trips. “The view from the coastline must have been beautiful.” 

“I’m afraid I scarcely recall,” Sebek admitted with a sigh. He looked out towards the waves you approached. “We often took up such training at night to better our senses; I only gazed upon the morning light briefly before we departed.” 

Oh.

“Would you like to set up here?” Jack asked, interrupting your thoughts that tried to fathom just what Lilia put Sebek and Silver through. You answered with a small ‘hm?’ before you looked down at the wooden lounge chair beside you. Oh, you were here already. “Or do you want one of the others?”

“This one will be fine.” You smiled up at Jack, now more awake then you’d been before. “Thank you - I might’ve passed it if you hadn’t pointed it out.” 

“No problem.” Jack wore a small smile as he adjusted the surfboard under his arm. “I’ll be out there with the guys. If you need anything, just call.”

“I’m sure I won’t need anything,” you assured, “but thank you!” 

Jack gave a nod as his reply before he turned around and jogged over to another wooden chaise. He placed his towel and bag down neatly, along with his shoes and necklace, before he made his way out to the sea. If you squint, you could make out the figure of Jamil already there, sitting on his board as he waited for a good wave. You never knew he was into surfing…honestly, that went for most of the people present. You were a little less nervous about Sebek going out now, but Ace? Yeah, that was a wipeout waiting to happen - more than one. If Epel had joined you instead of sleeping in, you’d be making bets on how many times Ace would fall off his board. 

When the three finally joined Jamil out in the water (he’d specifically stated he would not be responsible for any injury they sustained), you busied yourself with setting up your spot on the beach. Unintentionally or no, Jack actually led you to the perfect spot. The sun was not in your direct line of vision (not yet, at least), the chair was located at the perfect middle point between the shore, and it came with its own little table! You would surely have no problem organizing your things this time around. You’d have to thank Jack later. For now though, you simply sat back, relaxed, and let the boys put on a show for you. Hopefully without any injury or squabble in-between. 

***

“Hey hey!” You glanced up at the man who suddenly appeared next to you: Cater. He was dressed in his usual beach ensemble, large bag in hand; in addition to that, Cater had a surfboard under his arm. Cater must have seen you eye it, for he said, “I heard there would be some great waves out this morning! I thought I’d come out and catch a few.” 

“I didn’t know you surfed.” You wondered just how many hidden talents your classmates were hiding. 

“Mmn, a few times, yeah,” Cater affirmed. “Wouldn’t call myself an expert, but hey!” He pointed out to the water - you could see another large wave coming, and the four figures of your friends were readying to meet it. “Looks like I got some boys to give me a few pointers.”

“I’m sure Jack would be happy to give you some advice.” You let out a giggle as, when the wave just began to crest, Ace fell off his board with a yelp - again, for the fourth time that day. “I’m not so sure about the others, though.” 

Cater let out a laugh of his own. “Yeah, Deuce mentioned Ace went out with you three when I passed him in the breakfast hall earlier. Not…the most graceful, is he?” 

“Nope,” you said with a little laugh. 

“Well, hey, gotta start somewhere!” Cater laid his things on the lounge chair next to you. He glanced over his shoulder as he fished a bottle of sunblock out of his bag. “Looks like Sebek’s got it going pretty good! And Jamil - man! Where’d he learn to do tricks like that?!”

You quickly turned your head just in time to see Jamil finish his spin on the board. Though you could barely make it out from the distance, you saw the grin spread across his face. “He’s certainly full of surprises,” you muttered. 

“But you’re right: Jack’s probably my best option.” Cater lifted his heart-shaped sunglasses atop his head to rub some sunscreen on his face. “Nice guy, y’know? Not much of a talker, but he’s got a good head on his shoulders!” Cater sat down on the chair, now facing you. “Jack’s pretty cool, huh?” 

“Yeah, he is.” You spared a glance back at the waves. The big wave was gone, remnants now crashing onto shore. Jack was the closest in your line of vision - enough to make out the way his tail wagged, the way he smiled and threw up his fists in joy as water dripped from his torso. That wide, toothy grin…it was contagious. “He really is…” 

At first, you couldn’t see the sly smile that spread across Cater’s conniving face. He stalled in his application of sun protection as he leaned over on his knees, a little closer to you now as he teased, “Really nice to look at, too, huh?~” 

“Yeah…” Your words came out in a hush, gaze laser focused on Jack. The way his muscles flexed as he splashed some water at Ace, how his ears twitched in amusement as the redhead shot back at him with a splash of his own. Jack was really, really good looking…wait. Suddenly, you snapped out of your thoughts as you registered what Cater just said. To try and save yourself from embarrassment, you added, “H-He’s worked really hard to get where he is with his body! Jack’s really proud of himself.” 

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Cater’s green orbs glinted with mischief - he could put Leona to shame with that look. “And you know that I know what you meant.” 

“I, uh, I-” 

Cater let out another laugh. “Look at you! All cute and stuttering - no wonder he thinks you’re adorable!” 

“W-Who thinks I’m adorable?” you asked, trying to ignore the red that slowly crept up your cheeks. 

“Aw, c’mon, [Y/n]!” Cater gave a playful nudge to your shoulder. “You really don’t know who I’m implying?”

You were about to say no…then it hit you. No, no! “Jack?!” Your voice came out louder than you wanted it to. 

“Mmhmm~” Cater cooed. He rested his chin on his palm as he continued with, “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the way he looks at you; he treats you so sweetly, too~” 

“N-No, y-you’re just mistaken!” you protested. “Jack, he…he treats me like everyone else! Like our other friends!” 

“Yeah, okay,” Cater chuckled as he leaned back. He went back to rubbing himself over with sunblock as he said, “I’m sure he also carries bags and other heavy things for Ace and Deuce, too. Even little Epel and big ol’ Sebek. Does he make sure they’re always hydrated, that they’ve eaten? Has he ever carried them when they were tired?” 

“I…” No, no he didn’t, not to your knowledge. You’d seen him do little things to care for his friends, even acquaintances, but…nothing like the things he did for you. You mind searched for an excuse, yet couldn’t find one. You, to Jack, adorable? Cater…he must be teasing! “Wha…what proof do you have anyway?!” 

“He told me,” Cater stated with a shrug. “Don’t think he meant to - just kinda slipped out when he was talking about you with Deuce. I just happened to overhear.” Cater glanced back over at the sea, then let out something between a laugh and a chuckle. “Oopsie! Looks like your little yell got his attention.” 

You followed Cater’s gaze and, sure enough, Jack was staring at you both. His ears were perked up, alert, those keen golden orbs glued onto you. You remembered his words from earlier: ‘If you need anything, just call.’ Oh no… You glimpsed Cater stand up and pick up his board, just as he tossed his sunglasses, shirt, and other accessories onto his seat. 

“Well, I’m off!” Cater waved at you as he turned to tell you goodbye. That cheery expression was briefly interchanged with a devious one as he added, “I’ll send Jackie boy right over~” 

“Cater, no!” But he was already gone, practically skipping over to the shoreline. As his feet touched the water, you heard him call out to Jack - then pointed back in your direction. You didn’t know exactly what he said, but it was enough for Jack to begin wading back to shore with his board. “Dammit, Cater…” you cursed under your breath. You just wanted to bury your head in the sand…

In no time, the beastman was at your side. Water droplets dripped down his skin and fell to the sand, right along with the ones that dropped from his surfboard. His fingers brushed hair away from his face as he spoke, “What’s wrong? Cater said you needed something.” 

“Did he now?” You glared daggers in Cater’s direction for a brief moment. He wasn’t too far from shore yet, so he was able to see your face. The third year simply smiled wide and waved at you. You were going to kill him.

“Yeah,” Jack reaffirmed. He dug the tip of his surfboard into the sand to balance it better under his forearm. “Did you not bring anything to drink? I’ve got some water in my bag, you’re welcome to it.” 

“N-No, I have my water bottle here.” You held up the thick bottle of [favorite color] hard plastic up for him to see. You forced a smile and commented, “That was some great surfing out there!” 

“Thanks!” The large grin that spread across his face was a bit uncharacteristic for his usual stoic demeanor, but it was…cute, you thought. “I think I’ve gotten better than I was last year. All that practice over the summer did me good!” That grin faded to a smile as he asked again, “So, what was it you needed?” 

“Um…” Well, he was here - Cater was so nice to direct him to you. Might as well bite the bullet. “Cater mentioned something you called me a while ago, and I was wanting to know if it was true.” 

“Hm?” That smile was gone in an instant as Jack feared the worst. “Was it something bad? If it is, I didn’t say it. If I had a problem with you, I’d say it to your face; I’m no coward.” 

“I know you’re not,” you reassured. “And it wasn’t anything bad! It just…well, it surprised me.” Jack looked at you expectantly - here goes nothing. “Cater said he overheard you tell Deuce I was adorable.” 

Those big wolf ears quickly flattened against his head, expression one of shock. He was clearly flustered, that was for sure; Jack was so taken aback he nearly dropped his board! Either Cater just told you a blatant lie to rile you up (which you’d definitely kill him for), he misheard Deuce and Jack’s conversation, or…It was your turn to wait in anticipation for Jack’s answer. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, eyes glued to you. Then, in the next, he looked anywhere but you. Finally, after a long pause, lost in his own head, Jack rubbed the back of his neck, eyes glued to the sand below. 

A clear sign he was embarrassed - shy, even. 

“Uh…y-yeah, I did.” 

The air was knocked from your lungs. For a few seconds, you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. When your brain fog cleared, only one thought was there to greet you: Jack thought you were adorable. “R…Really?” you muttered, eyes as wide as saucers.

“Mmph.” You supposed that noise meant ‘yes’. Now it was time for your heart to rattle in your chest. That fluttering increased as Jack went on. “I…I didn’t wanna tell you, not till later. I just didn’t think it was the right time. I talked to Deuce about it; I guess that’s when Cater-senpai heard me say it.” 

You simply nodded your head in reply. Your hands gripped the wood of the chair, as if for dear life. 

“Well…I’ve got no excuse now.” Jack’s hand fell to his side, posture straightened again. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath; after five seconds, he released it in one long exhale before opening his eyes again. When they did, they looked directly into your own. “Can I take you out to dinner?” 

Your mouth felt as though it were full of cotton. Blood pumped in your ears, nearly overpowering the sound of crashing waves - and of a certain someone wiping out once again. You paid no mind to the three different laughs that followed. Really, you had no idea how to reply, what to say. Jack Howl, your friend, was asking you on a date. You promised yourself you wouldn’t catch feelings for him; when they began to surface, you pushed them way down into the confines of your soul. You didn’t want to ruin things…apparently those fears were for naught. 

“W-We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” It was so odd to hear Jack stutter, nervous and unsure of himself. “There’s no pressure - you don’t even have to give me an answer. I know this is all sudden, and I-”

“I’d love to.” The words left your lips before you could even think. It was instinct, you guessed. Jack seemed to jolt at your reply, ears once again pointing straight up at the sky. It was cute…you finally let yourself smile as wide as your cheeks would allow. “Nothing would make me happier, Jack.” 

For another moment, there was silence between you. Then, slowly, Jack’s tail began to wag. It gained speed more and more until it was almost hard to make out. You wondered if Jack even noticed - likely not for the way he almost seemed to beam. “You would?” Those words were nearly a breath, inaudible, but you caught them. You nodded enthusiastically, now grinning. 

Like the one he wore before out in those waves, yours was contagious. You watched that toothy grin slowly reappear as he seemed to let out a breath of relief. “Good…good, that’s good! I-um, sorry, I’m not myself.” On the contrary, you thought Jack was currently more of himself than he let on. For now, though, you let it slide in favor of witnessing this rare slip of composure. Jack tried to regain that tough image of his as he took another quick deep breath, the exhale much quicker. He no longer grinned, but his smile showed all the confidence in the world. 

“When would you like to go out?” he asked. 

“Would tonight be okay?” you asked in response. 

“Yeah!” Jack nearly resembled an excited puppy. Though his tail no longer wagged at the speed of light, it was still pretty fast. “Is it alright if I pick you up at six?” 

“That sounds wonderful.” You could feel yourself slowly begin to melt under his golden gaze - which you could now only describe as loving. “I’ll get someone to watch Grim while I’m gone.” Your smile must have sent Jack’s heart into flips for the way his cheeks turned pink. It looked pretty against his tan skin. “I can’t wait for tonight.” 

“Me too…” He simply looked down at you for a moment, as though the world had just fallen into place before him. Then, he recomposed himself once more and said, “Oh, and don’t worry about dressing up or anything! I know a place we can go. It’s not too fancy - I think you’ll like it.”

“You always know what I like,” you chuckled. 

“I like to…” Jack trailed off once again; you wondered if he could ever get tired of staring at you. It didn’t seem like he would…come to think of it, he’d looked at you that way before. Many times before, actually, for the past several months. Was that…was that what Cater meant earlier? You understood now…it was nice. 

“Well, what do we have here?” 

The both of you jumped at the sudden voice behind you. The two of you whipped your heads around to look at the source: Vil. Rook was beside him, in his arms two large bags, over his shoulder an even larger umbrella and a pair of long, fluffy towels. Both smirked from ear to ear as they eyed you both: they knew. You knew they knew from the glint in their eyes, the same as Cater’s before (eesh, Leona had nothing on them). How many people knew? Was it that obvious?! 

“Don’t mind us,” Vil said with a wave of his hand. He walked past your chair with Rook in tow, though he glanced over his shoulder as he pulled down his expensive shades enough to reveal those lavender, knowing eyes. “We won’t intervene. Certainly don’t stop on our account~” 

With that, the two walked away without another word. Jack seemed to shrink on the spot, clearly mortified. You followed along with him as you practically curled up in your chair, knees tucked under your chin and hot face pressed into the crevice between. You groaned to yourself - so embarrassing! Then you heard something shuffle next to you. When you peeked out from your knees, all you saw was Jack. His fingers came to brush a strand of hair away from your cheek; you practically shivered at his soft touch. 

“If you’ll wait for me, I’ll walk you back to the hotel later.” 

You wanted to, but… “I-I can’t,” you mumbled, clearly disappointed. “I promised Malleus I would go with him and Lilia out to lunch. I don’t want to cancel at the last minute - and Grim would kill me! I need to get back at least an hour before.” 

Jack made a small noise as he nodded to himself. Instead of dismay, however, he smiled at you again. “That’s okay. You go and have fun, alright?” His knuckle softly grazed your cheek as he retracted his hand. You almost wished he kept it there a bit longer. “I’ll see you tonight then?” 

“Mhm,” you hummed with a shy little smile. “I’ll see you then.” 

For how close he was, you thought Jack might kiss you…but he didn’t. You recalled when he said minutes ago that he thought it wasn’t the right time to ask you out before - was that what he felt now? Maybe. Even so, you hoped it would be soon. You…wanted to. Really bad. He smiled as he departed back for the sea, tail wagging all the way. 

You really tried to ignore the knowing smiles that were sent your way, both from the sea and sand. Cater, Vil, Rook…you really hoped Lilia didn’t know. If he did, it was going to be a very long lunch. You hoped Malleus would be a little better - but for the way you could picture that smirk in your mind, you doubted it. Oh, the things you just did and would do…but you didn’t regret it one bit. 

#Twisted Wonderland: Beach Episode Mini Series #my work #twisted wonderland #gender neutral reader #twst #twst x reader #twst jack #jack howl #jack howl x reader #twst jack x reader #vil schoenheit #twst vil #cater diamond #twst cater #twst jamil #jamil viper #twst sebek #sebek zigvolt #ace trappola #twst ace #twst deuce #deuce spade #twst rook #rook hunt #surfing #crushes #date night #teasing

[offshore-brinicle]

Other misc things:

- Chains of others gets the Gloom effect rather than Pride when Meur uses it in story. Given how he says outright he wishes to protect Heathcliff and how the idea of an unfair judgement [from Erlking judging that all Heathcliffs must die to the court in his novel] is a theme they both share.

- In the end scene, Rodya is at the back of the bus and seemingly in deep thought, can't remember her saying much in the later parts of the Canto either. Something must've hit her hard.

- Is the river under the Heights something connected to the 'stream of human consciousness' [paraphrased] that I believe was mentioned in lobcorp?

- We know boughs can be destroyed, but I wonder if one can be 'reactivated'. The one Dante hold onto in Pass On is charred black but still intact.

- To add to the parallels, Heath n Yi Sang both get stabbed in the heart by a bough, one by their own volition in an act of love, and another by someone else.

- Why does Demian remember Cathy. It's probably something to due to the stars but half the time I'm fairly certain he's just standing invisible somewhere during the story given how much he knows. But given the body and coffin were both still there, I doubt ctrl alt deleting someone fully erases them from everything.

OK answering one by one:

I LOVED THAT MOMENT SO MUCH. In general it was such a surprise and treat to see how much more active Meursault was in this Canto and I was wondering about the Gloom change unless I was just misremembering the color since Pride is also blue but thanks for confirming. Meursault......... It's also so so cool to see the EGOs being used for practical uses like restraining someone like Meursault does, it makes me wonder what it can be do with some of the others like for example Ishmael's anchoring with Snagharpoon or Yi Sang's teleportation in Crow's Eye View

Actually good point though she actually spoke quite a bit I think, mainly in the first part about the resentments she has towards the rich, and the moment she has when they're approaching the mansion that brings up her dark side to the others in full force even if just for a second. Since apparently she's gonna be the focus of next Intervallo I hope it means she's getting more character development...

I say "yes, most likely" as I talked in my previous answer, taking in count Hermann has an interest in it and finding "the prime form of humanity" and The Well they talk about is the origin of everything in the world and humanity itself and responsible for The Light and EGO and everything, it's not the first time there's been a physical entrance to it somehow, the other most notable one is the Black Forest in the Outskirts that comes up more in-depth in Ruina.

Yeah I wonder how it can even get "burnt up" in the first place and what they're even gonna do with it since getting the charred Bough is treated as a grey area of sorts between success and failure. I wonder just How it lost its power and how it can be reactivated though taking in count it's basically magic

I SEND AN ASK TO MY FRIEND ABOUT THIS TOO, the other party involved for each Heathcliff and Yi Sang's cases are also the two most important women to them and great symbols for their own nostalgia and overall arcs, and they are connected to them through flowers that carry symbolic meaning and are tied to their homelands. Heathcliff stabbing himself as an act of showing his love to Catherine is also interesting because Dongbaek's reason for stabbing Yi Sang could also be interpreted as being a form of love, but...marred with heartbreak and hatred and resentment for what happened to the League like in the original Wuthering Heights [edit cuz I forgor: this is something amplified by the fact that when she stabs Yi Sang she quotes the line from The Camellias where the protagonists fall in love together both physically and metaphorically], specially since she was so overwhelmed seeing him she went for him when she was going to initially attack Dongrang derailing her plans. How she talks about it when questioned adds to it too since she kind of justifies herself saying that Yi Sang wanted to die too and isn't spiteful like she is towards Dongrang even being calm seeing he was just fine despite her murder attempt (but also the fact that she was unphased by that still gets me. She's really got no sanity left), and she was correct in claiming Yi Sang was longing for death even if the moment left a big emotional scar on him, much like Heathcliff's heart was broken by Catherine and so he breaks it in a literal sense for her.

Honestly Demian is just Demian. He's a weird little guy and probably exists out of time or something tying to his star. It's probably for the same justification as to why Heathcliff and Dante remembered Cathy, and she's def not truly "gone" since they couldn't really erase the consequences of her actions and presence. Hindley and Linton are still dead because of her.

#answers #Canto VI spoilers #project moon #limbus company #lcb Meursault #lcb Rodion #lcb Yi Sang #lcb Heathcliff #lcb Catherine #lcb Dongbaek #lcb Demian

[moxpunk]

Moxie's Big-Ass Retrospective on Games She Played This Year

There's going to be a lot of games under the break, and I'm going full-hog on spoilers. Honestly, I'm going stream-of-consciousness with these, so there's not going to be a clear point made for some of them. Just how I remember them and how I feel now looking back.

Final Fantasy XIV This is my current MMO of choice, and it's been this massive part of how I spent my time this year. The patches and content continue to be great, even if I breeze through it all in a few days after the patch when plugins/mods are back up. I've definitely noticed a dip in my interest lately. I think it's because we've hit a good stopping-point for the plot and junk, so most of us are just waiting until the pre-patch of the new expansion next year. RP continues to get fucking worse and worse for someone that plays a lalafell, since the community at-large (especially the modding community) is actively hostile towards lalafells and their players. Having to check every single venue to see if my middle-aged potato is going to be treated like a child by the hosts gets exhausting after the umpteenth time. Still love the game and I poke at it on a regular basis.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom One of my favorite games I've played this year, but also one of the most frustrating in hindsight. There was a ton of lost opportunity in multiple aspects in this game, and it's sorta the thing I keep coming back to in my head. I loved the exploration and fucking around with physics and just getting to play around in Hyrule. It's a magical experience that I think transcends the fact that 2/3rds of the map is essentially re-used. The Underground was a missed opportunity to shove lore of ancient civilizations in there, Ganondorf was a missed opportunity to finally depict him as a tragic hero with Hyrule being the villains for once, and no plans for DLC or even a Hero Mode is a massive miss for me wanting to return to the world.

Baldur's Gate 3 Hands-down my favorite game of the year by a massive margin, but like TOTK, an immensely frustrating experience. The game is half-cooked in so many areas, and the bugs are plentiful to the extent that they can't really be ignored. The pathing system continues to be the Larian Special of being jank as all hell, with my characters running in the opposite direction of the path it lays out for them. I played this one on stream, and I cannot remember a single stream where I didn't have at least a handful of frustrations with the combat system. Hell, I had to completely restart my file in the middle of Act 2 because Karlach's romance bugged out. I continue to be very upset and frustrated at how goblins are treated, doubly so since in order to pursue the Good Route with Halsin, you have to attack fucking children. I don't care if they're goblins, they're kids. Also very disappointing we don't get a single short-race origin character, meanwhile half of the cast is some form of elf. At least it's nice letting me be full-on cock-out trans. Despite that, the writing and characterizations in this game are unparalleled. It's immensely refreshing to finally have a RPG where you fucking roleplay, after years of it being dialogue that doesn't matter in the slightest other than "points towards the good/evil ending". I love the Brain Slug Squad immensely. This game is probably going to become part of my "play this every year" list because there's just so many different ways to play through this game.

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk Been waiting for this game (or a game like it) for fuckin' years, and it's everything I wanted and expected. I know a lot of people went into the game expecting some massive thing that lasted hours and hours, but my memories of JSR/JSRF was a game that I could reasonably beat in an afternoon or two because I just get into the flow and know what I'm doing. Cyberfunk is the purest successor to JSF that I can thing of where it just adds to the fun formula of the past. Incredible game, love seeing the mods coming out for it, hope we get another game in the universe since Team Reptile said they aren't doing DLC.

Pizza Tower Love this game, adore the movement and the music, absolutely fell off at about the halfway mark. I think it's because a lot of stuff was coming out at the time, and I just kinda played those instead. One of these days, I'll beat it and be very satisfied, but for now my gremlin-brain that demands collecting every single collectable and getting at least an A-rank on every stage gets exhausted just thinking about it.

Elden Ring Opened the game up after upgrading to a new PC, marveled that I could run it on Ultra with the game keeping a smooth framerate, killed a few enemies, remembered about the fucking giant ants in this game and how there are zero mods to remove/change them, and then turned the game off and uninstalled. Begging someone to make a mod that gets rid of the fucking ants. Please. I've already gotten every trophy in the game last year, so any incentive I have to return is predicated on that.

Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty So, I'm going to give my thoughts about the base game and the DLC, since I played both. The base game continues to be this utter fascination to me where my brain adores just existing in the cyberhell future of nonstop advertising (if I have to hear YO YO YO MY CHEWERS SHROOMERS AND FUMERS! one more time I'm going to fucking strangle someone to death) and ultraviolence. The game continues to ride that weird line of "might as well do every side-quest because they're quick enough to get to and there's hardly any compared to Witcher 3" and "oh my god I do not care about these fucking sidequests other than I have gremlin-brain". Doing anything with sniper rifles or heavy machine guns is an exercise in frustration thanks to there being zero silenced sniper rifle until late-game and there being no unique HMGs.The DLC is... fine. It's fun antagonizing Idris Alba, it's not fun that the DLC is based around a stealth build, it's extremely not fun that the changed ending is deeply unsatisfying from a narrative standpoint.

Pseudoregalia An adorable little game that I enjoyed quite a bit for the very short time I got to fool around with it. Love the movement, love the style of the graphics, love the little pieces of story. Game doesn't get enough love, so here's me giving it some more.

Potionomics I fucking adore this game. I think what helped endear me was getting to do all the voices on-stream, but who cares this is my retrospective and I get to be biased. Loved the romances and characters in there. I absolutely headcanon Xid as being trans, Roxanne turns me into a babbling idiot, and I relate to Luna so hard it almost hurts. I enjoy that characters remain your friend if you already picked a partner, and you have to have a conversation about "hey, you were kinda flirty for a while and I feel a little weird about that now" for each of them. Breaking the economy by the third competition was immensely satisfying.

Paradise Killer I slammed through this game over the course of a single sleepless night thanks to Super Depression. Love the character designs and how bold they are, love the lore behind the world, got kinda sick of it taking so long to travel from place to place, gremlin-brain refused to let me part with the game until I collected everything. Hope to see a prequel/sequel of some sort, because Lady Love Dies is such an interesting character and I liked the bugfuck-weird world.

Peglin It's Peggle, you're a goblin, you get funky ball powerups, adore playing this game on my phone in short bursts. Not much more to say, it's my potato-chip game.

Rimworld Friend gifted this to me and I got horribly obsessed for like a week. It's a lot easier to grok than Dwarf Fortress thanks to the UI and information being easier to comprehend. I never know how to do the crazy shit in these games, I usually peak at having a little self-sustaining settlement with like 4 characters that live their little lives until a plague or bandit raid sweep through and kill everyone.

Halo: Master Chief Collection Another series of games I got obsessed with and pounded out before dropping it. Halo 1 is like twice as long as I remember, Halo 2's remastered cutscenes are fucking gorgeous and it continues to be my favorite out of the series, Halo 3 I'm lukewarm on it's whatever, Halo Reach is... eh I don't care, ODST I petered out of thanks to playing it with an ex that does not understand videogames, Halo 4 is a slog. Didn't do any multiplayer.

Helltaker Finally played it, beat it in like 2 hours, thought the puzzles were fun and the art continues to rattle around in my noggin.

A Hat In Time Another game that I finally beat after owning it for like the better part of a decade. Cute little game, I don't have a clue what any of the updates and junk do these days. The big mountain level is a fucking nightmare to navigate and explore and that's why I fell off last time.

Puzzle Agent Played this one on-stream because I'm Minnesotan as all fuck and I enjoy Professor Layton puzzles. It's just as good as I remember, even if it's incredibly short.

Kingsway Love the premise, adore that it takes me back to the Windows XP era of using my parents' computer. I had like one good run that died in the middle of things, and I never really went back. I should do this game again at some point.

Loop Hero Another procedural game where progress is usually bottlenecked by gathering base resources in each run so you have a fighting chance. All my runs sorta ended up the same by a certain point and I wasn't really having much fun anymore.

Lethal Company Game scares the absolute shit out of me, I cannot play this game for extended periods because I get heartburn from fear. Excellent experience with friends.

Super Mario RPG I didn't have a SNES growing up, so I never got a chance to play the original. So far, I've been greatly enjoying the remake! I don't have much to say because I've only played like four hours of it on stream.

Katamari Reroll Just beat this game again on stream last week. Extremely fun, extremely short, Lonely Rolling Star continues to make me get emotional and cry, my memories get mixed-up with We ♥️ Katamari when it comes to the final sequence of levels.

World of Warcraft I made the return, and holy shit have things changed in-game. The UI actually looks like it's part of a cohesive artstyle, catching up with the story and questlines after bouncing in the middle of Shadowlands is honestly kind of exhausting, and the RP community is still splintered and fractured between Retail and Epsilon. Controller-support has been my biggest gripe since XIV's is fucking stellar and I do not have the wrists/hands for putting my abilities on the keyboard anymore, I either have to use my janked-out mouse buttons or a controller using ConsolePort which is... serviceable but nowhere near good. Uh, I don't particularly care for the dragon-stuff in WoW's lore, and I still haven't done a single dungeon since I play Brewmaster and I'm so out of whack with WoW tanking that I just don't bother. I'm usually doing RP on my endless ranks of characters if I'm not playing with my girlfriend. Season of Discovery has been a fun thing to do with my friend and our guild, it's sorta what I wanted out of Classic when they announced it. The "No Changes" thing was stupid because we'll never get back the lack of information and endless time we had back then, so I'm very happy to have World Of Warcraft Chopped And Screwed Edition. As much as I still have massive, major gripes with Blizzard and ABK in general... Azeroth is still home for me. It's been important to me as a person. Wouldn't have realized I was trans or poly without it.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT My thinks and feelings on all the games I played this year in 2023. I guess to sum up the year in general? It's been a real shit year for me. Went through like three big breakups, my art output's been dogshit in quantity thanks to mental-health issues, and for the first half of the year people just sorta generally treated me poorly which exaserbated a lot of problems. I'm recovering, but I've noticed it's been a lot slower than it has been in the past. Games are a huge hobby of mine, so I'm glad I've gotten to play some bangers this year. Being more active on Tumblr's been good for my mental health, since I finally feel like I've got a community again after not really feeling like I've had one in forever. Love you guys, stay weird. 💖💖💖

Sorry not sorry for this being so long.

#moxie heritage posts #holy shit there's gonna be a lot of tags i'm so sorry #final fantasy xiv #tears of the kingdom #bomb rush cyberfunk #pizza tower #elden ring #cyberpunk 2077 #pseudoregalia #potionomics #paradise killer #peglin #rimworld #halo #helltaker #a hat in time #puzzle agent #kingsway #loop hero #lethal company #super mario rpg #katamari damacy #world of warcraft

[fillingthescrapbook]

Let's Talk About: Burrow's End, Evolution, and Revolution

Welcome back, Stupendous Stoats--for one last time! And because I have a bunch of stuff that I need to do and I'm just squeezing this in, this Let's Talk About is gonna be a stream of consciousness that I write while I'm watching.

Check it out, check it out, check it out--

The caution tape ribbon on Izzy's head with the very colorful attire is giving Jojo Siwa realness.

Now that we're in the finale, I just want to point out that Aabria went full Ed Sheeran on her outfit in the last five episodes. So I want to ask any amazing artist out there… Please draw Aabria's power plant uniform with Brennan's Dungeons and Drag Queens get-up a la the Beyonce and Sheeran meme.

Siobhan wants to go full Kevin McCallister!

"…and that we should murder Phoebe." It's not a surprise, but the way Brennan said this so intensely calm gave me such whiplash. In a good way. Mommy has so much blood lust.

Is Dr. Tara Steele planning a Happy Feet situation? Filming the talking stoats like those scientists filmed the dancing penguins?

This map is truly beautiful. Truly.

Yes, Viola! Yes, Rashawn!

BRING IN THE NEW MAP!

Are those three Breaking Bad action figures?

"Carlos! What have they done to you?"

"Well this is gonna be much more fun now." AABRIA!!!

You have to kill your babies, Brennan!

"I rolled better than a Nat 1--which is a 2."

"Does a 30 hit?" "What do you think?!" Sad sigh. Perfect.

Why did Brennan make Tula so powerful? Like, in another fight where he isn't fighting his own family, this would be great. But the situation is not that!

"Shoot at me!" "I'll take the shot." "Shit."

"Don't hit it with fire! Don't hit it with water!" Aabria turned into Lucas!

"Lair action." "It's okay." "What?" "You don't have to." That was the best reaction to a DM's shenanigan.

What I want to know right now-- Is Tara's hazmat suit still broken? Because there's a lot of radiation here.

"Are you okay?" "No!!!" This is the most engaging 5e battle in Dimension 20 history outside of A Starstruck Odyssey.

"He'll cook in 40 minutes!"

Aabria has just learned the lesson Brennan had learned from giving Ally Beardsley's shenanigans a chance. If you say yes, the dice gods will give your player a Nat 20.

We did get a Happy Feet ending! This is an amazing ending! I still want a longer Aabria season on Dimension 20 though.

That said--this very lovely epilogue juxtaposed with that horrifying maxi of Phoebe-backer is also a perfect representation of Burrow's End. Although… Wait… Did we get an epilogue for Thorne? I'll have to rewatch this episode at some point. I have to dash now.

Oh, but one last thing: Brennan's "I can't wait to find out what's going to happen tomorrow" hits very differently for me, right now.

#burrow's end #dimension 20 #d20 spoilers #aabria iyengar #brennan lee mulligan #siobhan thompson #rashawn scott #jasper william cartwright #erika ishii #izzy roland

[apomaro-mellow]

Part 1 of Nancy helping Steddie happen

Nancy knew it would be an uphill battle. For one thing, she wasn’t a hundred percent sure Steve was attracted to men. But she was optimistic. She hadn’t felt any inclination towards women until a fateful Blondie performance. And since learning about Robin and Eddie’s own preferences, it seemed more likely that Steve might not be totally straight.

It was a probability thing. The hardest part wasn’t getting him to like Eddie, it was getting him to admit it and make a move. But once that block was removed, Nancy was sure his instincts would take over.

“His instincts?”, Eddie had questioned.

“Yes. His dating instincts, flirting instincts, you know. They’ll kick in and it’ll be smooth sailing from there out.”

Eddie looked to the notes he’d taken. The honest to god how to seduce Steve notes. He wasn’t even studying this hard for real school.

“I’m failing to see the actual through-line here. One moment I’m supposed to be buddy-buddy with him over sports, which, do you even know me Wheeler? And the next I’m supposed to make him feel like a big strong man? How do I even do that?”

So Nancy’s plan was less a tactical step by step process and more of a stream of consciousness thing, sue her. “I recognize we’ve got some obstacles. I figured if you got closer to Steve, you could also employ typical flirting techniques.”

“Typical of girls? Or typical of guys? Or typical of guys who like guys?”

“Eddie, it’s all the same.”

“And that’s where you’d be wrong. Because I can do the play flirting that dudes do all the time. But there’s a line. And if I cross that line, Steve will sock me in the jaw.”

“Then let’s cross that line.”

“Excuse me?”

“Cross the line with Steve. Just once. And see how he reacts.”

Eddie looked at her like she grew two heads. “Did you miss the part about my jaw being socked?”

“He won’t do that. Not if Robin is there. And if I just happen to be around-”

“Don’t you go crossing any lines yet.”

Nancy let out a groan and leaned with her hand against the wall. She didn’t always count herself as a patient girl. But if Eddie didn’t get it together she was never gonna date Robin.

-------------------

They had agreed on toeing the line. Something that probably wouldn’t end up with Steve hitting him. Nancy tried to encourage Eddie, saying he’d never lay a hand on a friend, but Eddie was a little protective when it came to his face.

So they were at the local basketball court, where Steve was helping Lucas practice. Max and El were on the court as well, playing their own little game on the other end of the court. Robin, Eddie, and Nancy were there as support. But the plan involved having Eddie on the actual court.

So after watching from the stands for a beat, he stepped onto the court to help Lucas with his moves.

“If you can get by a scrub like me, you’re gonna warm the bench your whole life”, Eddie taunted. He still didn’t get that excited over sports. But Lucas was one of his little lambs. And if this was what he was into, he could be supportive. Especially if it meant seeing Steve in a tank top. Eddie himself didn’t like getting sweaty but a tiny part of his blackened heart warmed when Lucas was able to get past both him and Steve and score a point.

Steve praised Lucas with a high five while Eddie caught the basketball as it dropped through the net. Here it was. The moment of truth. 

“Don’t just hype up the student. You gotta give props to the coach too.” Eddie felt his hand get warm before he did it. “Good hustle out there Steve”, he said before smacking Steve right on the ass.

Before he could see the reaction, he tossed the ball back to Lucas and went over to the bleachers, pretty much collapsing right next to Nancy just as Robin was getting up and heading over to Steve.

“Did you see his face?”, he murmured.

“Hm?”

“Did you-you weren’t even looking were you?”

“I was....n’t. I wasn’t”, Nancy didn’t even bother to lie. It was hard to when her eyes hadn’t left Robin, even now.

“You’re unbelievable. Worst wingwoman ever.”

“How did it feel?”, Nancy asked.

Eddie flexed his fingers, never happier than he was now for the physicality of sports. “Glorious.”

“Mhm. You’re welcome.”

Even as she congratulated him, Eddie could see in her eyes that her thoughts weren’t on Steve at all. They both had it bad.

@gay-stranger-things

#apo writes #fanfiction #stranger things #steddie #ronance

[pancake-breakfast]

I would love to say that it took me this long to get to the final three chapters because I was afraid of what would come, but the truth is I was just very very tired.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 12, Chapters 7-9 below.

Chapter 7: Run, Livio, Run

Uh, oh. I'm looking forward to seeing Livio again, but I don't want him to be in any real danger. I know he doesn't mind, but that's actually part of the problem right now.

It's a good thing Milly and Meryl remain miraculously unaffected by this smoke somehow, even though it's messing with the soldiers so much.

Oh, no! Thomas down! Milly down!

Quick shout-out to the Thomas's spiky dinosaur tail.

OMG they make yipping noises. I had no idea.

Ugh, this could be bad. Meryl is too small to carry Milly away from the scene on her own, and it looks like Milly hit her head pretty good.

Meanwhile, Vash has his hands busy with his dumbass brother.

Ugh, his hair is sooooo dark now....

Knives, buddy, have you seen yourself in a mirror yet? You're more amorphous blob than singular being at this point. You should get that checked out. By a professional. Maybe Conra--oh, wait.

Dude, that's not the face you make when you realize the brother you love so much is basically about to die. It is, however, the face you make when you're about to score a resounding victory over your sibling.

Ugh, babygirl. You're a mess, babygirl. Why....

Ugh, Domina's also a mess....

I was promised Livio in this chapter. Where is my boy Livio?

AAAAAHHHH AAAAHHHH THERE HE IS!!! JUST IN TIME!!! YAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!

LOL, Meryl's shocked face.

Hahahahaha, Livio's so awkward. How long has it been since he's had a "normal" interaction with someone else? For that matter, this isn't exactly normal. He's probably overthinking the social aspect and might need to spare more brain power to the escaping aspect.

Livio's like, "Here. Have a military-grade bomb door. I'll just set this up for you right here... and I'm off! See ya in a bit!"

There we go. He's switching over into combat mode, not gonna worry about the social aspect. That's for someone else.

The heck?! He just went straight over the top of the door!

He... uh... he miiiiight be a bit outnumbered. Just a bit.

Smart. He didn't actually need any of them to say anything. He just needed a few people to look in the right direction.

Man, he's fast.

Tornado technique deployed!

Ugh, Vash. I wish I could tell you there is another way, but if there is, I can't see it. It requires Knives doing things Knives isn't prone to doing, so things are looking very, very grim. Maybe Chronica and her buddies can somehow offer some aid... if they can just figure out what's going on.

Chapter 8: Lights

Ooh, Chronica's peeking into Domina. Plants are weird, yo.

It looks a bit messy in there, even by Plant standards.

Vash's mini-gates are scaring the hell out of the Earth fleet. I don't think Knives realizes just how dangerous they are... or how crazy Vash's precision has been in using them.

Oh, seems he has some idea.

Noooo! Vash!

I don't think "disappointed" is a strong enough word for whatever Vash might feel losing to Knives here. You know... assuming he has enough of anything left in himself to feel.

Oh, Knives is implying Vash is just unconscious. That's... good. I think.

Huh, I need to save this shot of Livio for a project I want to work on. I honestly didn't think I'd find a manga panel of him in this kind of pose. It'll be a perfect reference.

I mean, he already commandeered another military-grade metal door for his own purposes, so I don't think this one stands much of a chance. Especially if the primary barring mechanism is on the OUTSIDE.

Shout-out to his EoM-themed twin gun holsters. Not sure how he hides those monster fangs in there, but whatever. They look cool.

Ugh, Vash.... Vash, are you ok? Tell me you're ok.

I'm not sure I quite understand the lights here. Are those... representative of the people down below?

Ahhhh! He's moving! He's moving!!! He looks like absolute shit, but he's moving!

KNIVES YOU LITTLE BITCH LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! And other things to say to Knives if you want to get yourself insta-killed.

Wait, why does Knives suddenly look afraid?

Up? Chronica?

Wait, why we focusing on Livio right now?! I love you, Livio, but I need to know what's going on with Knives and Vash!

Wait, what's happening??

Ok, I got it. Knives got hit by something from space at the same time Livio went through the door to the little shelter thing. I'm following, I'm following. Also, hi, Elendira. I was wondering where you were.

Vash has an opening.

FUCK. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY FUCKING LEGATO GOSHFREAKING DARNIT EVERY SINGLE FREAKING TIME THIS GUY SHOWS UP AND IF HE ISN'T IN FULL BAGWORM STATE ALL I CAN DO IS SWEAR BECAUSE GODSDAMMIT LEGATO YOU MONSTER!!!

Vash looks none too happy. Which makes sense considering the last time he faced off with Legato. Knives, on the other hand, looks like he genuinely doesn't know what to make of all this.

Awww, he's so happy.... I really need to update my collage of his seriously unhinged smiles.

Chapter 9: Two People Against The World

CW: Sexual abuse, sexual assault, depersonalization, abuse

Yusssss, Legato backstory! I've been waiting for this traumafest!

Note: While having a traumafest backstory might help explain one's monstrous actions, it does not, in fact, excuse them, especially as one matures into adulthood and (theoretically) gains a better understanding of action and consequence. The world is so much bigger than our trauma. Now back to your regularly scheduled reaction post.

Ah, I guess Legato and Vash did have ample time to get to know each other over those seven months.

The funny thing about this title is, assuming it refers to Legato and Knives, it's definitely Legato's perspective. I've seen people spell out some pretty decent evidence that Knives cares for Legato more than he admits, but the fact of the matter is Knives doesn't admit it. Knives repeatedly treats their relationship with a level of disregard that suggests no matter how much he values Legato, he's nowhere near admitting it enough to himself to allow room for thinking something like it's the two of them against the world. Gods, I could write essays on the dynamic between two. I adore how much there is to analyze with Legato and Knives. I love how it's Wolfwood and Vash taken to quite possibly the worst extreme.

Heh. Vash looks... almost relieved. And Legato looks almost peaceful here. I wonder if perhaps they reached some sort of understanding, as unlikely as that seems.

Oh, I thought Chronica was still in space. Looks like she's making this personal.

Eyyy! Milly's awake!

And here she and Meryl are both just worrying about Vash. Love them.

Chronica's got an impressive gun aimed at Knives' face there.

Ooooohhh, Legato and Vash are gonna have opinions on this... especially if it's successful.

What, he just blocked it? Hax.

Love the birdcage imagery for Legato here.

Ah, Legato.... This isn't even him seeking revenge. This is him seeking justice. He doesn't want them to pay. He wants them to experience what he himself experienced at their hands so they know. Gonna be honest, I can't fault him for this, even knowing that there were probably plenty among those who "stood by and did nothing" who lacked the power to do anything even if they were even aware of the problem.

Ugh, gut wounds hurt so bad, too....

Ok, so this guy's a monster, but for as unrealistic as it is, I love that you can tell so much about him simply by his character design. First, he's someone in power. Money... authority... probably both. He stands on a rich carpet in a fine suit with (what I can only assume is) a trendy hat while Legato is spread out naked, vulnerable, humiliated. Second, for all his power, he's a small man. It's a bit of... height-ism, I guess? Nightow is using it to show that regardless of what else this man has, he's not actually someone who's worth looking up to. And third, he's just... kinda gross. His proportions are distorted and weird with demon eyes and sex doll mouth and he just gives me creep vibes just looking at him.

Ugh, this is a common thing with abusers, though. They can get caught up in this sort of self-delusion that whatever they're doing is right and good, that their victims benefit from it or like it or even love it despite ALL signs to the contrary. And having ANY clear sign that, no, their action was NOT acceptable, any action from their victim that even has the possibility of allowing the victim to go free, to leave the abuser's "kindness," is seen as complete and utter betrayal. And then, after suitable punishment has been meted out, they may "forgive" the victim by allowing them to fall back into the abuse cycle... often while occasionally bringing up the failed escape attempt to excuse more extreme behavior toward the victim or to demoralize their victim and keep them in place.

Of course this guy would be turned on by the possibility of getting to punish Legato.

Legato's such a little guy here, too...

Yeah, there's no way something like that happening at such a moment wouldn't seem like an act of god to him. Nevermind that it was probably pure chance and the horrible, unnatural pose he was forced into that saved him.

Yeah, I don't blame him for this, either.

Ah, Knives really didn't intend this.

Legato really piqued Knives' curiosity here, first by surviving, second by daring to approach him, and third by not showing the least bit of concern that Knives might lob his head off in an instant, and instead asking to serve him.

I really can't get over how small he is here. Even if he was the type to take a bit to fill out, he doesn't look older than 15 here... and that's being generous.

Honestly, living one's whole life (or the vast majority of it) the way Legato did would leave little space for hopes and dreams to grow. It's hard to have even the smallest ambitions when all you've ever known is what it is to be an object used by others.

Heh, he finally smiles, and it's at the thought that it's all going to end.

I wonder what about this made Knives stay his hand. It's not simple respect for Legato's power. Perhaps he sees some measure of himself (or even Vash) in Legato here, in that time after they found Tesla and everything seemed meaningless and they just wanted it all to end.

Man, they didn't even see fit to give him a name. He was just a toy to them. Makes me sick.

In retrospect, implying I was looking forward to this chapter seems like a bit of a disservice to it. I had enough spoilers to know how dark it would get, but it's different reading it. I... still don't think it excuses a lot of what he does. But it does make me wish all the more that he'd had opportunities to know good people. If it had been Vash who had saved him instead of Knives... or even Wolfwood or the Eye of Michael... his life would be so very different, and probably for the better. He deserves better than he's ever got. He's endured enough.

Archive

Trigun Vol. 1: Covers + 1-3, 4, 5-6, 7-8, 9-10 || Vol. 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Vol. 1: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Vol. 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Vol. 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5, 6-7 || Vol. 5: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 6: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 7: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 8: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5 + Bonus || Vol. 9: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 10: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-8 || Vol. 11: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 12: Covers + 1-3, 4-6

Extra Credit: Trigun Vol. 1: Nebraska vs. Vash's Motivations, Vash's Loneliness, Vash's Depression (pt. 2 of post), Soupy Brains || Vol. 2: Coin Factoids || TriMax Vol. 1: Lina, Vash, and a Haircut || Meryl, Vash, and the Pursuit of Happiness || Vol. 5: Knives, Vash, and Hatred for Humanity || Vol. 6: Coping Series: Wolfwood, Meryl, Vash || Vol. 8: The Uncoordinated Counterattack || Vol. 9: Justice, Punishment, and Mercy, The Tolling of an Iron Bell || Vol. 10: Crucifixion Symbology (pt. 2 of post), Merging of Families, Being Childlike (And Why God Hates Chapel) || Vol. 11: New Hair, New Outlook

#i have sooooo many complicated legato feels and this volume has done absolutely nothing to lessen them #i can think he's a monster who should be thrown into the bottom of the sea AND also want far better for him than he ever got #trigunbookclub #trigun maximum #volume 12 #pancake thoughts

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Trapped

First posted: July 30, 2018

Focuses on: Jason Todd (and Bruce Wayne)

My favorite bookmark: "i think this is my favorite jason fic now?? shit" thank u but I've written better, please come back

Tier: Top 20 in terms of hits, kudos, and bookmarks, surprisingly

This is my "behind the scenes" series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

Another BatFam Week entry, but this time the prompt is the title.

This one started with a very specific kinetic image of being able to feel Bruce's hand covering Jason's eyes and knowing why. Very horse blinders, but soft and dadly. From there it was just a matter of writing it.

A panicked whine whistled through the dark.

In my own fics, the use of "whine" is very "Oh hi, I've been binging fic indiscriminately for weeks and now have plunged headfirst into writing without knowing a thing about how to do it my own way." No shade on people who do use that verb. I just don't anymore, because it's not my style.

He was buried. Buried in the dark with the bugs and the worms and the dirt.

Treble parallel structures are just the best and I rely on them way too much but also I AM NOT SORRY.

He swung his arm in a panic, forearm slamming against the wall of rubble. Nothing moved, but his arm screamed, so he joined it.

☺️

That was him. Good, good, that was good, dead people didn’t know their own name, because they were dead, but he was going to be dead because he couldn’t see and couldn’t get out and oh god he was buried again—

I really hecking love stream-of-consciousness panic, though I would edit some of the commas here. They were technically, grammatically correct, but a few implied breaths Jason was definitely not taking.

Also I don't remember if it was this fic or another early one but some commenter tried to be like "capitalize that g." No. When the characters reference the deity or deliberately the name, that's God. This is god.

No matter where Jason had cried out for him—in a warehouse in Ethiopia, in a muddy grave, on the banks of the Pit—Bruce had never been here.

Listen, you might think you hate your dad, but when you're living out your worst nightmare, it's good to have him around! Like oh thank goodness AN ADULT, and not just any adult, the ADULT WHO FIXES THINGS.

Bruce’s hand tightened on his ankle.

Some things are just fun to write because it's less about imagining and more about, no, I can just tell you Bruce has his gloves on and his fingers are around Jason's ankle and the pad of his thumb is pressed to that little hollow between the ankle bone and the Achilles heel, I'm not conjuring it, that's just how it is.

It was a ludicrously heavy beam, and his muscles were already weak from panic and fading adrenaline.

I have no idea how heavy concrete with a rebar center actually is. If I were Audrey, I would have googled it and researched down to the ounce. As it is, my brain went "It's like the Little Billy scene in Rocketman, it's fine."

“I have died here,” Jason reminded him, voice teetering like a small figure on a bridge.

I pat past me on the back for that wording.

Bruce placed his hand over Jason’s eyes, sandpapery callouses rubbing across soft eyelashes and bloody skin.

Bruce has my dad's hands. Which doesn't actually make sense because Bruce is a manual labor guy and my dad's only callouses are writing callouses, but it's true.

“You’re not alone. I’m here, and I’m not leaving you.” Bruce kissed Jason’s forehead tenderly, then prompted, “Say it.”

Yay forehead kiss.

“You are not alone.” “I am not alone.”

I am not fond of dialogue-only endings (when I do them.)

Also, to pull out one of my own replies from the comments:

The hill I choose to die on is that the majority of both the strife and bliss between Bruce and Jason at any point in their lives centers on the fact that Bruce is the closest anyone has come to earning total trust from Jason. Period. So that makes every betrayal ten times worse but also means that when the chips are down, Jason will turn to Bruce. 

Another gem from the comments: my elation that @cerusee (whose work I had devoured) read AND liked this fic AND liked it well enough to text it to @audreycritter (who had not yet appeared like a Jack-in-the-Box to drag me bodily into friendship.) I tried to play it cool in the reply. I was not chill in real life.

#fanfic bts brain dump

[rallamajoop]

Some Zoe/Mia fic recs

To wrap up this little impromptu Mia-Winters-week on a positive note, I wanted to throw a quick rec for a great author of Mia/Zoe fic, CoffinLiqeur. I'm reccing them as an author rather than reccing specific fic because they're single-handedly responsible for nearly half of all the fic ever posted to AO3 with the Mia/Zoe tag (a paltry 42 fics at time of writing). They've also written a bunch of Ethan/Mia, and a ton of other mostly-RE7-focused RE fic ‒ but it's the Mia/Zoe stuff that really stands out for me.

And seriously, there's so much here I've been craving in Resi fic for ages and not been able to find! Most of all how CoffinLiqeur never shies away from the horror, the grief and the trauma of everything these two women went through. There are stories here about Zoe and Mia trapped in the Baker mansion, leaning upon each other for comfort, about Zoe dealing with her feelings for Mia after Mia's escape with Ethan ‒ even about them reconnecting after Ethan's death, and going on to bring up Rose together (and for any non-fixit universe, where Ethan doesn't make it out alive, this is now seriously headcanon confirmed material for me).

Not all their fic is that heavy, but the weight of their shared grief for the years they've lost, for Zoe's family, and later for Ethan too, all hits just the right note ‒ these stories can absolutely make you feel just how hard Mia Winters loves, as well as Zoe's own complex mix of strengths and vulnerabilities. Remember how I was just rambling about how much wintersberg fandom has been missing by shying away from any hint of a Heisenberg/Ethan/Mia love triangle? This right here is such a great example of all the lovely angst and complex emotions that could come out of that.

It doesn't hurt that CoffinLiqeur has a brilliant handle on all their character voices too ‒ including the rest of the Baker clan. Jack and Marguerite are just as loudly terrifying and Lucas just as creepy as they all should be. There are some really lovely surreal sequences too ‒ seriously, so much to rec these on.

CoffinLiqeur mostly writes Zoe as trans ‒ though this is that species of trans-fic where it doesn't really come up other than as an excuse to write PIV between a same-sex couple, which I know can be a squick for some trans readers (though a selling point for others). You won't get to see any exploration of what it would've been like for Zoe to grow up as a trans lesbian in rural Louisiana, the added horror of losing access to HRT during her three years of imprisonment, or any of the other explorations of dysphoria vs mould-body-horror that immediately struck me on considering the possibility of a trans Zoe either. That's more a case of missed opportunity than a real judgment on their fic though ‒ this is really just me wishing (yet again) that the AO3 community had better conventions for tagging this stuff so I could set my expectations going in.

I should also mention that the overwhelming majority of CoffinLiqeur's fic are very short prompt-fills, with some of those prompts feeling like a more natural fit than others, and a lot of the fic feeling very quick and unbetaed. There's a real stream-of-consciousness flow to most, which can be brilliant for establishing mood when used well, but can also lead to long run-on sequences that can be very hard to follow in others. So there can be a degree of quantity over quality here ‒ but given how many truly lovely Mia/Zoe stories I've still found in their archive, I'm really not complaining at all.

You can find all their fic here, or the Mia/Zoe tag specifically here ‒ or you could just go through my own recent bookmarks for just the shortlist of my own favourites here. (And there's also plenty of wintersberg in those bookmarks too, if that's mote your speed)

#Mia Winters #Zoe Baker #Resident Evil Village #Resident Evil 7 #fic recs #MiaZoe #? #ZoeMia? #Zia? #it is criminal that these two are not popular enough together for a proper shipname #Mia Winters week

[bastardrobocop]

not being funny, not being melodramatic i hope, but i feel like the last year has broken me in a lot of ways. 2023 i mean. i watched a long term relationship disintegrate in my hands until the ultimate betrayal of my trust and safety. i was so stressed and so fucked up all the time.

and now like, i can feel im withdrawing from my friends, im engaging in unhealthy behaviors i will not specify here, despite it all im more lonely than ive ever been, my hobbies are starting to feel like dust in my mouth, and while i'm not actively suicidal, the thought isnt far from my mind in that nasty intrusive thought sort of way.

there are nice things. i have the place to myself. the bed to myself. its quiet. but i feel like ive exhausted the amount of patience people have with me talking about what ive gone through. and as is the nature of things i dont feel as though ive built character or come through hardened. i feel mad. hurt. i want to hurt xer back somehow. take something back because something was taken from me. i feel like i have no recourse. god knows if xe'll hurt someone like xe hurt me again. but thats not even my primary motivation. i just hate feeling like theres nothing. no justice. no satisfaction. nothing that makes being raped a more tolerable experience, which is a silly thing to say. but you understand, right? like, sure i could post somewhere highly visible "In December of 2023 well known SCP Wiki author UraniumEmpire sexually assaulted me" but like what would that accomplish? it sure would put me under a microscope. its a surreal sentence too. hard to explain why. maybe its ultraminor celebrity combined with knowledge that inevitably it can just be denied and nobody will listen.

you know before now i never really noticed how much people fetishize sexual assault? "CNC" and the like. i dont care for it. i dont think they know. its frustrating as an adult online trying to navigate adult spaces. i know its an odd topic, but im fully stream of consciousness right now. i'll see something and it hits me in the gut and so i block the user or close the thing or leave the discord call. yet another addition to the list of things that make my tastes so exacting.

i feel like i should come to some overall point but the only thing coming to mind right now is just 'i hate this'. and i do. i hate this so much. i'm crying a lot more. at stupid things. weird things. memories. dreams. this post. the funny thing is that despite it all, despite the content, despite everything, i hope people read it. i like feeling like i exist. i like feeling real to other people. reminding folks that im not just a joke machine. i have an internal world. i have had a life that's lead me here and despite advantages it has not been good.

did i ever talk about how my high school graduation went? odd digression, bear with me. i feel like its emblematic of how things typically go for me. it's the day i graduate high school. i come downstairs to find my mother on skype with my kansas family. my grandfather is dying. they put him on skype. i watch him die over skype. after sitting alone for some time, i tell my parents i do not want to go through with high school graduation. i am forced to regardless. it is the most miserable day of my life. nobody listens to what i need in the moment. i go through with it, and then we are all shepherded to some kind of entertainment center. for reasons i cannot fathom, we are not allowed to leave for a couple hours. enforced fun time. they bring a stage hypnotist. i sit in silence and watch his antics. i get up and ask one of the people supervising us if i can leave now. they finally say yes. my mother takes me home. she asks if i have a nice time. i say of course i didnt. we drive home in silence.

i have have very rarely felt understood. very rarely felt like i was built to exist in the world. i feel as though i have an expiration date beyond the obvious one. i have grown older and watched people i know operate normally in the world and wondered how they do it. it never clicked for me. autism, transness, otherings. experts looked at me, told me i needed accommodations. never really got them, or they didnt help.

this is getting too long. i asked myself partway through if this was a suicide note but concluded that it wasn't. this is primarily because im scared if i die, they'll separate my cats. adopt them to different homes. they're best friends, they should not be kept apart. i love my cats, even when they're breaking shit and tearing open trash bags.

final paragraph. this whole post thing is probably going to sound embarrassing to me when i have hindsight on it. oh well. i am going to hit the post button now.

[binch-i-might-be]

intermission. I'm having so many thoughts but not in the mind to articulate them

edit: it is no longer intermission. in fact I am back at the hotel room sprawled over the bed and kicking my legs in the air like a little girl. but I refuse to start this list over!

first of all, german really isn't the language for the musical, but they absolutely did the best they could with what they had

with that out of the way, let's get into my scattered stream of consciousness!

the lams is blatant and almost ridiculous. the guy playing Laurens only auditioned for the role so he could make it as gay as possible and I am CERTAIN of that. the homosexual gazing in the first song...... the fucking WAY the other guys and Laurens were whispering to each other when Hamilton first started going off and then Laurens stumbled over as if he was working up the nerve to ask him out. THEY KEEP GRABBING EACH OTHER'S NAPES??? IT LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE ACTUALLY GOING TO KISS DURING MY SHOT. HELLO

when Washington first showed up on stage I immediately went "YES DADDY" and I am not sorry!

speaking of Washington tho, he doesn't quite have the presence for me at some points. he's not as intense or consistent as Chris Jackson, but Hamilton and him are so very cute so I'll take it!

Hamilton is. SO endearing. I love him so much oh my god he's such a sweet boy he deserves the world. the actor is playing him so much younger than lmm did. he's so GENUINE. with lmm there was always this underlying weariness, he was weathered and snippy and waging a constant battle, but this one??? baby boy. such a little guy. absolute sweetheart

at the end of Aaron Burr, Sir instead of "who's that kid, what's he gonna do" they say. "what's the little one doing". can you hear me weeping

a lot of the jokes are lost or just don't hit. sad!

in helpless not only did Washington fix Hamilton's cravat,,,,, Hamilton showed him his ring all excited and then Washington PATTED HIS ELBOW as he was walking away. I'll never emotionally recover from this

also Laurens hands him the ring. they did make homosexual eye contact then. #lgbtq

when Hamilton asks for Eliza's hand, her father doesn't say "be true", he says "na gut". which is basically like saying "k". sir 😭

one thing that annoyed me a bit was that they used a lot of the formal "you". let them use the casual "you". come on :(

AT ONE POINT KING GEORGE LITERALLY SAID "LOVE WINS". GAY RIGHTS

every time Washington would have said "young man" he says "my son" instead. 5 dead 21 injured

instead of "at the right hand of the father" Burr says "in the lap of the father" and I?????

In Guns And Ships when Hamilton is leaving to rejoin the army he kisses Eliza and then :( he kisses her belly :( just kill me on the spot

oh at the end of Meet Me Inside when Hamilton screams in Washington's face he immediately ducks his head and WHIMPERS? he sounds like he's about to cry!!!! baby boy :(

Hamilton and Laurens are constantly roughhousing. constantly in each other's faces. it is very lgbt

this fucking shredded me. they changed mom/daddy/pa/pops whatever to the german Mama and Papa. not only does Jefferson say "quick, run to Papa" to Hamilton instead of "daddy's calling", this ALSO means that Philip burst into his father's office yelling "Papa if you'd HEARD the shit he said about you". you don't know real pain until you watch Philip die and hear that boy go "Mama". eternal suffering

Burr was good. I liked him! (yes that's all I have to say about him lmao)

my favourite performer was either Eliza or Angelica. they blew it out of the water

I am saddened to report that making out on stage occurred yet again! the people losing their shit over lmm maybe kissing with tongue during Say No To This would have died. I saw. tongues. I SAW them

some songs really do not work in german. the Schuyler Sisters is usually a favourite of mine but oh man does it sound rough. I didn't really understand the lyrics in Helpless but I still liked it because it's Helpless. some translation choices were wild and it took me out of it for a moment! BUT I'm very pleased to say that one line in Alexander Hamilton I was annoyed about, which was "and I simply shot him" instead of "I'm the damn fool that shot him" was changed to "I was his friend and I shot him". better!

"I'm not throwing away my shot" became "I only have one shot" and honestly I can't say I'm too mad about it at this point

"rise up" became "frei sein" ("to be free") which was a bit. ngl. cringe at times haha

Dear Theodosia hit me straight in the nutsack. I was borderline weeping over it. both Hamilton and Burr were so good in that, the text was very well translated, and oh boy does it hit different to hear that in my mother tongue. shit girls my issues came THROUGH on that one

Satisfied might have been my favourite translation out of the whole musical. god was that good. it had slightly different vibes from the original, but that made it so interesting. the imagery used was impeccable, Angelica's actress was AMAZING, and it's just. jesus fuck I'm probably coming back to that later on. genuinely that version made me tear up it was so good

honestly I would say the performers carried the whole thing. they made it work!

that's all for now folks! rest assured, I'll let y'all know if I think of anything else, but yeah! initial impressions and all that :)

#lots of thoughts lots of feelings lots of opinions #i'm glad i saw it in london first but i'm also very glad i saw this one #hamilton #hamilton hamburg #damn i'm beat

[amelikos]

Some character notes and episode notes for HZ041, writing them down for future reference.

Dot and Murdock were seen together in the kitchen for the first time! Dot hasn't been in the kitchen much so far (I think twice? When she went to fetch the donuts Murdock made for her in HZ008, and when she went to drink juice in HZ030), so it's cool seeing her there with Murdock since he is the cook. Dot also called Murdock by his name for the first time in her flashback with Friede, though she didn't refer to him as uncle yet. I hope it happens eventually.

Dot's mother (Blanca) showed up to take her home. She is completely different from Dot, much more talkative and excited, which Liko notes that Dot seems to be like that when she is streaming (which suggests that Dot seems to take inspiration from her mother, consciously or not, when she puts on a show as Gurumin). Blanca didn't seem to know about Gurumin though and wanted to ask Dot about it, and Murdock tells her that she should bring her donuts since she might open up more easily that way. The Ikkanezumi that Liko saved offer to take the plate of donuts to Dot, and apparently they've been helping out here and there on the ship as thanks for that. It's nice seeing them being active and getting a glimpse of their personalities.

Liko and Roy offer to talk to Dot instead of Blanca. She agrees and gets emotional over the fact that Dot has friends who look out for her. Liko and Roy go to Dot's room and want to know her side of the story and tell her that they don't want her to leave and ask her if she's really okay with it. Dot doesn't answer at first so Liko and Roy pretend to leave and give up on talking, and Kuwassu encourages Dot to chase after them to talk. Dot eventually agrees to talk about herself, and they go somewhere else on the ship to talk (first time Dot does so, since usually they all talk in her room).

Dot begins her story and talks about how she felt like she had hit a wall in the past. She likes looking up interesting things and cultivating her skills but there were things she couldn't experience from her room. She found one of Friede's thesis online once and was impressed by his work. She eventually meets him in the flesh since Murdock told Friede about Dot being good at tech and he came to her place to ask her to fix stuff for him, make an app for the RVTs and join them. I wonder if Murdock was the one who suggested Dot join the ship but asked Friede to extend the offer (Dot might not have been as receptive to it if Murdock had been the one asking her to join?). Dot was a bit overwhelmed by all of this (and embarassed about meeting someone whose work she admired) and she wasn't sure about his offer. She downplayed her skills too (saying that her being good at tech isn't a big deal, she often did that throughout the show) but Friede assured her that it was something special.

As an aside, I like the implication that Friede keeps writing research papers and even publishes them independently. Just because he left his previous job doesn't mean he lost his passion for his field, or that he stopped studying and writing. It seems like he still writes a lot, and even makes distribution maps about Pokemon and is very diligent about all of it. It's a nice character detail.

Dot asked Nanjamo for advice during a stream (similarly to Liko, she freaked out a bit about her question being read). Nanjamo's advice encouraged her to take action and she eventually convinced her mom to let her join the ship on a trial basis. It seems like at that point during the flashback, Dot wasn't friends yet with Nanjamo? Maybe they exchanged contact info and became closer later once Dot joined the ship? I also like the fact that Dot seems influenced in different ways by both Nanjamo and Blanca (who are very different from her in terms of personality).

Blanca eventually came up to Dot and the others, and wanted to ask Dot how she felt about her trial period ending. She was pushy about it, so Dot wasn't necessarily receptive to her words. Liko told Blanca that Dot needed to find the right moment to talk about it, so Blanca challenged Dot to a battle so they could talk openly during it.

As they battle, Blanca told Dot that she knows that she mostly stays in her room despite being on the ship and traveling and asks her why she became a trainer since she was never interested in being one before. Dot tells her everything: that she started appreciating the outside world, that she managed to make friends, and that her life became more exciting thanks to her Pokemon. Even though she was backed into a corner during the battle, she didn't give up (and referred to her and Kuwassu as "we", talking about them both as a team) and thought up of a strategy (targeting Lugarugan's feet) and eventually won. Kuwassu learned a new move, too. Dot immediately knew which move it was. Small moment that shows her knowledge (usually, Friede identifies the moves to tell Liko and Roy about them, it happened when Hogator learned a new move in HZ037 for example).

Dot eventually asks her mother if she can stay on the ship as a full-fledged member. Blanca accepts (she had a feeling Dot would ask that), and seems genuinely happy that Dot is growing and that she is enjoying her time on the ship. She hugs Dot too! Murdock's Iwanko brings Dot a tissue so she can give it to her mom (very thoughtful thing to do). Dot tears up a bit as well since she is happy that her mom accepted her request (but quickly hides her tears and denies needing the tissue when her mom asks w). I feel like we're seeing more sides of Dot lately. Her VA did a wonderful job when Dot was talking about her past too (her voice sounded much softer than usual).

Noting that Murdock remained more reserved than usual in this episode, probably to balance out his sister's personality? (I liked that Blanca had a Lugarugan, contrasting with Murdock's Iwanko, interesting that the younger sibling has the evolved form of a Pokemon) In general, I feel like Murdock takes on more the role of an observer when it comes to Dot. There might be some truth to Blanca's words, that sometimes it can be embarassing to talk to your relatives, so that may be why Murdock observes and reaches out in the only way he knows how (with food, which is how he conveys his love for his niece) and watches over Dot while Liko and Roy befriend her. (There is more to be said about this particularly) Overall, I liked that even though Blanca can be overbearing, she does have Dot's best interests at heart and wants her daughter to grow. Proper communication is how they managed to find a common ground and understand one another.

#hz041 #character notes #episode notes

[freudianslumber]

Today, Tomorrow and Forever

Summary:  Angel Elvis went through Hell when being falsely accused of betraying God.  Eventually found true love with LAPD narcotics officer B.B. King.

Author’s Notes: Guess I might as well take that leap of faith.  What started out as jotting down headcanons or a few ideas turned into a 7000+ words WIP.  Well it is my first fan fic ever, and might also be my last.  I was going to post it on AOx3 but have no patience to wait until my account request goes through. Since not many people are posting m/m fiction in the Elvis fandom at Tumblr I thought I might as well put this out.  Or maybe I just wanted some indication all that time I spent writing this weekend was not completely wasted.  

Chapter 1 Hell's Angel

Pairing: incubi x Elvis Presley (m/m), succubi x Elvis Presley (f/m)

Word count: 2.5k

Warning: 18+, Gang rape, Physical abuse, Drugging, Colonel Parker

Elvis was the choir leader in the angel choir in Heaven.  He was young and carefree, living with his parents, Gladys and Vernon.  His buddies included Jerry, George, Charlie, Red and Sonny.  One day he accidentally walked into Red and Sonny's secret devil worshipping ritual.  He was shocked and couldn't believe the two of them were betraying God and plotting to aid the Devil in overtaking Heaven.  Red and Sonny tried to convince him to join them in their espionage, Elvis refused and wanted to warn the other angels. That was when he was hit hard on the head by Red and passed out.  Red and Sonny then tied him up and called others to come over. They claimed Elvis was a spy from Hell and was captured by them.  As evidence, the two provided a map of Heaven in demon language, supposedly seized from Elvis when they caught him.

When Elvis woke up, he was in the middle of a large stadium with tens of thousands of angels watching him being put on a public trial.  There was a panel of archangels acting as judges.  God was not personally present, but they all knew he was presiding over the proceedings behind the scenes somewhere.  Elvis tried to defend himself by telling the truth, swearing his loyalty to God.  However, the evidence was against him. The angel guards raided his home and were able to find multiple Devil worshipping emblems and demonic potions.  They even caught a demon who confessed he was the messenger through whom Elvis was transmitting information to the Devil.  Red and Sonny both testified against him. Although Jerry and Charlie tried to defend him, it simply wasn't enough, and the masses of angels turned against Elvis.  They screamed angrily: "Destroy this traitor!" "Banish him to Hell!".  At that point Elvis knew deep inside that he had no chance of clearing himself, he pleaded with the judges to spare his parents and let him bare all the punishment.  Suddenly the thunderous voice of God was heard resounding over the stadium: "Elvis, I'm so disappointed in you!  You were my favorite in the Heavenly Choir, you have the sweetest voice among all the angels.  This betrayal can never be forgiven!  I will break your wings and ostracize you forever from Heaven, so you can follow Lucifer if you want!  As for your parents, I'll spare their angelhood, but they just couldn't stop wailing and defending you!  I have no choice but to take away their voices and lock them away in angel prison!"  Elvis couldn't believe his ears, he started yelling at the top of his lungs with tears streaming down his face: "No!! Don't do that to Mama and Daddy!! They did nothing wrong and they are everything I have!  God, please take my life!  I am ready and willing to take this punishment if you leave them alone!..."  However the only answer he got was a strike of lightening and the blinding pain he felt with the realization the bones in his angel wings were crushed.  With shouts of "Condemn him!" "Down with the traitor!" circling in his head, Elvis fell from the sky like a bird that had been shot in the wings. 

When he slowly came back to consciousness again, Elvis felt every nerve in his body was on fire.  It was so abnormally hot he thought he was in an oven, he was covered in sweat all over.  He licked his cracked lips and murmured "water...", then he tried to move but realized that he was in restraints again. Except this time he had lost his angel robe, so he was naked as the day he was born.  With throbbing in his head, he regarded his surroundings and found that he was lying flat on a steel-plated counter in the middle of a cave.  His hands were chained to the walls on each side of him, he could minimally wiggle the arms but really there was not much give to do anything else.  There was a leather collar around his neck which was secured to the steel plate beneath him.  Similarly his waist was encircled by a broad leather belt which strapped him down without fail.  His entrapment was complete with ropes and chains which kept his legs bent at the knees and spread widely apart.  His wings were in a spread position as well but they were paralyzed, any attempt to move them sent unbearable shooting pain through his entire body. 

Suddenly one hand ran through the feathers in his left wing, he shivered a little due to the ultra-sensitivity he seemed to be having currently all over.  A voice sounded which seemed familiar, but he couldn't place where he had heard it before: "My boy, look at you!  One day you are an angel frolicking in Heaven and the next you are tossed like a useless toy into Hell!"  Hell?!! Elvis' mind shuddered along with the quick realization that this was the only logical conclusion of where he was at.  A thumb played with his bottom lip, "you must be thirsty, do you want something to drink?  As you know it's scorching 365 days a year down here! Haha!!" Finally a face appeared above him revealing the source of this cruel laughter.  A red and paunchy demon with a Fedora hat over gray balding hair looked into his eyes: "You don't remember me?  I was your manager Colonel Parker from a past life.  Elvis you are still the same, always get yourself into trouble."  Colonel? Elvis mulled over the title in his mind, but remained completely fuzzy about his past.  The Colonel brought a tantalizing glass of water above his mouth and offered to him.  "Want a drink?  This is very precious down here!"  Elvis's Adam's Apple moved up and down with difficulty, his throat was so dry he could barely form a sentence.  He closed his eyes, opened his mouth longingly, knowing full well that he was accepting hydration from a demon in Hell.  Lukewarm water started pouring steadily into his mouth, he gulped it down, ended up choking slightly before the stream stopped.

After a few minutes, Elvis opened his eyes and spoke for the first time: "Thank you, sir. But why am I here and why am I tied up?".  Parker's little demon eyes lit up: "Why, this is where you belong!  Look where following God got you, damaged and abandoned!  He has imprisoned your family! The dark lord had been mistreated by God the same way in the past and was also tossed out of Heaven, that's why he takes pity in you and is taking you under his protective black wings!  Come on, tell us the secret of the Heavenly defense system and we will help you free your Mama and Daddy!" Elvis bit his bottom lip: "And what if I don't?" The grin on Parker's face froze up, his facial muscles spasmed for a second, then slowly morphed into a twisted smile: "My boy, you know the smart choice here... Or else we have ways to convince you."  He placed a hand on Elvis' soft lower belly, stroking it a few times, causing a nervous twitch there.  The blue-eyed boy took a deep breath, then a very determined look came over his face: "No! I will never follow the Devil!  I'll find a way to clear my name before God and save my parents myself!"  For a moment the Colonel seemed stunned by this open defiance, but quickly he squeezed a few words from between his teeth: "My boy, that's foolish!  It's obvious that you need a few lessons before you can start to think clearly."  A loud snap was then heard across the cave, Elvis' brain then registered that it was the sound of his right ankle bone cracking apart as Parker took a forceful swing at it with his cane.  His anguished cry was accompanied with a failed attempt to withdraw his right ankle by instinct.  Then the cold reality set in that he was in a very exposed and vulnerable position in a torture chamber in Hell.  Parker smirked and spoke nonchalantly: "Just a small taste of what's to come, let me know when you change your mind.  You know I always take good care of you my boy..." He slowly stroked Elvis' cheek one time, then left whistling a happy tune. 

A moment later, a group of at least 7 or 8 demons crowded into the chamber.  Most were males, there were two females, all of them buck naked.  Elvis heard some whispers amongst them, some of them drooling, others stroking their hard cocks and moaning.  The tallest one in the group let out a whistle: "Look what we have here, angel boy from up above.  I heard he is a great singer too.  We haven't seen one of these in hundreds of years!"  This was answered by a lot of nods and eager hand-rubbing, lust-filled eyeing.  He grabbed Elvis' chin and forced his jaw to open, "Mmm, such luscious and inviting lips and mouth, I can hardly refrain myself from putting my cock inside!" Then his fingers trailed down from the trembling victim's neck to one of his nipples and pinched it hard.  Elvis screeched at the foreign sensation, but then felt a strange warmth going through his body, and a conspicuous redness started to spread rapidly from his face down to his upper chest.  Then the demon turned his attention to Elvis' white angel wings.  He took a hold of a small handful of feathers, admiring the silky smoothness of them, smirked: "so beautiful, God's proud creation, too bad you'll soon wish you had ugly bat wings like us incubi".  In a swift motion he violently tore out the feathers in his hand, smiling at the blood seeping out from the delicate skin underneath and enjoying a pained grunt from its owner. 

Another Incubi's impatient shout interrupted him: "Hurry up to the part where we fuck him already!  We've all waited so many years and he's our reward after we fought back thousands in fierce competition, can we get on with it boss?"  The incubi leader laughed: "Settle down, kiddo!  We got plenty of time!  Besides, it's more fun when we get a reaction from our guest too!"  With this he grabbed Elvis' member which to the angel's utter horror was aching and starting to grow harder during this time.  His torturer grinned and stroked the part effortlessly and roughly until it became fully erect.  "Look how pretty he is down here", the incubi leader held the member in one hand and pulled back the foreskin with his other one, revealing the deep pink perfectly shaped head, along with small amount of precum at the tip.  This was greeted with a bunch of Woos and Ahs and louder sounds of masturbation from the increasing raucous crowd.  That was the moment when Elvis finally realized that the "water" he had drunk earlier from Parker was an aphrodisiac.  I should have never trusted that monster, he thought to himself, feeling so ashamed but was unable to stop his body from showing signs of excitement with any stimulation.

The incubi leader dropped Elvis' cock against his abdomen, crouched down at the end of the counter and spread apart Elvis' buttocks, turning his attention to the tight entrance nestled therein.  Ignoring the angel's gasp, he abruptly pushed two thick digits inside and forced them all the way to his knuckles.  The pain crashed over Elvis so fast he let out another scream while trying to struggle against his bondage in vain, his voice already hoarse from screaming.  He also felt some tearing inside of him as the incubus triumphantly withdrew his fingers, showing streaks of fresh blood dripping along them, "Look! Our sweet angel boy is a virgin, just as I suspected!"  Well-prepared, he produced a dildo out of nowhere and without hesitation impaled Elvis with it.  The resulting agony felt like a large drill splitting Elvis apart, he was suddenly drenched in cold sweats and was breathing so fast he almost passed out.  The incubus giggled as he put a gag into Elvis' mouth: "Calm down and stop screaming!  I'm only trying to prepare you for what comes next.  Soon you won't have enough of this!"  Next, he proceeded to thrust the dildo in and out of Elvis in a faster and faster pace, using blood as lube.  At the same time he grabbed a hold of Elvis' member which had gone limp from the shear pain he caused and began to pump it incessantly in concert.  This torture went on for an unclear duration of time while the observing group was enjoying the view and the sound of skin on skin, some of them having released their loads several times.  Finally Elvis' cock became unbelievably hard again, and the sensation in his rectum turned into a burning numbness.  Elvis was sure the aphrodisiac he consumed earlier was the only thing that was keeping him this side of consciousness, also driving his body to act in inconceivable ways.  His pelvis was actually starting to squirm and buck against his restraints, chasing after the dildo each time it was briefly removed.  Irrational pleasure washed over him and partially covered the pain.  Suddenly the incubi leader took out the dildo and replaced it with four of his fingers, and he curled it expertly inside of Elvis and hit that heretofore undisturbed spot head on.  Elvis' eyes rolled up as ropes of white release shot from his abused member, covering his belly and chest. 

As Elvis laid panting and spent on the counter, coming down from his drug-induced high, the incubi leader was heard as saying cheerfully: "What a great start! I've prepared him well for all of us.  It's a wonderful feast for everyone, let's dig in and enjoy!"  At the sound of this announcement, all the incubi leapt into action, some were so eager you could hear them grinding their teeth, their arrowhead shaped tails swaying while they swarmed over the poor angel.  The incubi leader couldn't pass up the opportunity to be the first to enter Elvis' virgin hole, so he immediately pushed his huge dick inside, thrusting hard and fast while groaning with immense satisfaction.   Another incubus eagerly pumped Elvis' sensitive cock alternatively with his mouth and his hands, forcing it to achieve another painful erection.  A succubus wrenched the pretty boy's mouth open and sat on it sans the gag, grinding while instructing: "Stick your tongue as far as you can go, give mama a swirl and suck on my pearl!  And don't you dare thinking about biting cause I swear I'll crush your jaw!".  Another succubus was sucking on one of his nipples while twisting the other one.  Yet more incubi were busy using his hands to wrap around their members and making them reach climax.  There were even some who were rubbing themselves against the angel's wings and came all over them.  The whole cave was filled with lewd sounds and obscene sights, the most decadent orgy for these demons in years!

#elvis presley #angel AU #m/m

[cozymochi]

((you don't have to answer this publicly if you don't want)) Yeah, I think that makes sense. I commission a lot of artists when I can and I know interests and styles fluctuate a lot, on top of interest in doing fandom vs original work. I guess my question for you would be what are you more interested in (sorry to ask the question you didn't want 😅)

If we asked for more fandom stuff, would that make you happy just to be having something to do? If you took commissions, would you want to stick with fandom or original or a mix of both?

Like I said, I came for the IZ and stayed just because I think you're cool. I get really happy to see your icon on my dash, whatever it is. But I also understand burnout.

Whatever you choose I hope your day gets a little better, friend. Sending love and good vibes (and some tasty pollen and sweet flowers ☺️)

💜🐝

MMM TASTY [bites the flowers lovingly] 😳💕

For commission related stuff I don’t really mind what people ask in general. (Again, in general. There are moments- if rarely- where I’m not comfortable with something. Though I can never be sure what those parameters are until the situation arises in the moment) Most tend to go for fandom though, which isn’t a problem. In a way those are a lot more straightforward and simple (familiar fandoms are certainly easier, but im not a stranger to unfamiliar). As for original stuff, people can inquire about it, they just don’t, not usually. However, It’s not like those individuals really have a reference point for me should I actually take on something like that, mostly because I pretty much never post my non-fandom works (I have my reasons for it, but most of it is for protective stuff). So they’d have no idea what it’d even look like 😂 😂 jfhfhfg yknow?

AS FOR generalized content I make out of my own volition just to toss out there (which is what i’ve mostly been mulling over), I dunno. I just find a weird comfort in having slight awareness in what others look forward to seeing. I mostly get left in the dark on that sort of thing and have to leave it to chance, and I don’t really enjoy doing that all that much. (Im not asking for anyone to dEmANd things outta me or feel obligated to ask for anything, god forbid 😩 it’s more like… idk voicing what they do enjoy seeing every now and then) I like to keep that sort of thing in the back of my mind. IN A STRANGE WAY it does give me a push in that “oh well i guess making this isn’t totally meaningless after all” kind of way?? It just hits different.

Cuz let’s be real lol I’m not one of those people who have a HUGE unavoidable presence who could very well theoretically post anything, and for whatever reason it’ll skyrocket and in turn, will hear a lot frequently (you know the ones!! We’ve all seen those folk!! Homies probably follow em already) I’d consider myself uhh… moderate, I think, “presence” wise. Not that that’s bad. But, that’s an aside really lol

BUT BACK TO YOUR FIRST MAIN QUESTION!! I don’t mind either one, i’m not even all that burned out by anything in particular i’ve just been really muddy and confused about perceptions 😭 when lifes all weird and different, i think that headspace is just a byproduct of that.

STILL THANKS FOR THE SHOT TO TALK ABOUT THIS LOL if briefly. I kinda went on a stream of consciousness there jfhfgcv

#cozy ask #and that’s the tea #Also tea in that the only reason there’s been a slight uptake in dbz-ish content is because those are the ppl commissioning me #😭 it’s mostly circumstantial #I normally dont push commissions THAT hard but they’re semi my only income means at this moment #So im a bit more antsy. #However ppl have been pretty nice about that

[nottonyharrison]

For Sawtooth: 15 and 24 | For Return to Sender: 20

I AM RESPONDING TO THE CORRECT ASK 😂

15: Was there anything you had to research for this fic? Do you usually do a lot of research?

I always do at least some research for pretty much every fic I write, so this was no different. Mostly just confirming assumptions or small facts. I remember being a bit iffy on whether a rich person haven like Monaco would have emergency response workers walking around in high visibility vests at one point, because I was like... this feels weird. High vis and Monaco do not seem to go together lmaooooooo. I also had to double check how old Naomi Schiff is because on the one hand I knew she's a lot younger than me, on the other I had to pause because I feel like she's been around forever, even though it was a throwaway line.

24: Did you write every scene in order? What was the first scene you wrote, and what was the last?

I think I wrote a few scenes out of order, specifically if I got stuck on something and just needed to move on, but I was pretty chronological with this fic. It was mostly stream of consciousness from start to finish, hands flying over the keyboard, racing to the chequered flag stuff. The first scene I wrote was the first scene, and the last was the last. IIRC, anyway. When you write 40k in a month things kind of blur together

20: What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?

That I wrote it at all! I just went and had a look to refresh my memory and it has the fewest hits of any of my Star Wars fics, barring one very random rarepare five sentence ficlet 😂

#thanks for sending sir #It is much appreciated #ask meme #fic stuff #writing stuff

[lf2mode]

feeling a bit moody tonight so i'm going to bring back my dumb tumblr blogging again...stream of consciousness time :)

for some context, i'm writing this after a year break from work; ive been job hunting again and i have study/interview duties coming up.

before my work break, one of the things i used to frequently get truly deeply sad over was this constant repeating cycle of me not allowing myself to pour infinite hours into just doing what i want, because work and life responsibilities were always looming. obviously, this went away when i took my work break, but before then…

2020 was a year where i started -really- getting back into drawing again, and it was also the year where work ramped up the hardest due to rona. for the next few months, almost on a weekly basis, i would find myself in bed brimming with inspiration yet also mentally stomping it out as hard as i could because standup was at 10 am and i really needed to hit work deadlines, so i really ~really~ needed to fight myself to sleep and not do my "draw until 7 am" thing again or else i would be in deep shit. i got better at this process over time, but every once in a while i would relapse (aka draw into the morning) and suffer work-wise, and it did get to the point where my managers would be concerned over my work performance. consequently i felt more trapped by my life circumstances than i have ever felt…this is coming from someone who is always feeling trapped and fighting for my own freedom, and somehow i fought my way into the deepest corner i could find on the map. every time i relapsed on "doing what i want" would lead to work consequences, and every time i didn't i would wake up the next morning deeply depressed at the mental ashes that represented my inspiration from the previous night. go figure that this work break felt like the best fucking thing i've ever felt in my life after years of self-denial.

anyway, now that i'm job hunting again, i am finding myself back in this cycle of forcing myself to stop again. funny thing is that i stopped myself from drawing and tried to go to bed, but here i am just writing until 3 am instead.

anyway, i've realized something about this that i think is a good thing.

while i am sad to find myself walking into this corner again, i also realize now that having competing priorities is one of the greatest motivators for me to do literally anything else beside the thing that i "should" be doing. so, even if i have to force myself to take breaks for the sake of my "real" resposibilities, ~at least~ i'm trying to work on what i want as much as i can in the slivers of time i can find. somehow, when i frame it this way, i don't feel like i'm stomping out inspiration. i'm relieved that, when i consciously look at what is happening, it's really not as bad as it feels.

side note…recently, i did allow myself to just work on one thing whenever i wanted to AND for however long i felt like at a time without feeling bad about it (can't post yet but probably soon) and i'm so happy that i did. i'm also thankful that i'm still job hunting since i can take intermittent breaks like this, though i know they won't be long.

anyway, that was the main thing i wanted to write about, but there are two more big things i wanted to dig into a bit…

one: in hindsight, i think my old tendency to "stomp out inspiration" or "feel bad about doing something for myself for too long" has stifled my ability to achieve anything long term. this isn't even just in the realm of "work" or "productivity" but actually goes even into things like "leisure" because wow i am still unable to get myself to just watch a movie or show. the medium of enjoyment i allow myself must be short-form so as to maintain the illusion of being able to stop at a finer granularity, unless it's in audio form only because then i can listen while doing other stuff at the same time.

anyway, i think this tendency of mine is connected to my tendency to stop myself from doing anything for too long for most of my life…and i believe this work break was instrumental in my realizing this. hell, i can even go further - growing up, my mom would never let me do anything for longer than an hour unless it was productive. the only way i would be able to enjoy things for longer than an hour at a time was if i snuck onto a computer after sleeping hours until 3 am and cross my fingers that my mom was asleep. ok...when i put it this way, i think it all makes a little too much sense.

two: one might look at the entire problem that i'm having and wonder "why not just turn what you enjoy into your work?" and to that i say: i have zero faith that the world will support me adequately for simply doing what i want to do. some people are able to have this belief and that's great. i don't. i'm also very sensitive to others' expectations, and i think the fastest way to dooming my hobbies is to tie it to my livelihood. however, maybe i should actually give it a shot instead of just saying that, because maybe it will feel fine and i will have a good time. maybe the world would want to support me adequately for doing what i want to do, but honestly…that's gonna have to wait for another work break.

not to harp on the same thing, but this just reminds me how i gave a whole presentation to my mom when i was 14 about how i wanted to become an animator and presented her with stats on salaries and job prospects, and i'm pretty sure that night ended with her yelling me into tears. again, makes a little too much sense how i feel about things based on just my upbringing.

ok last thing now that i'm looking back at what i wrote. i'm gonna be really obnoxious and quote my own tweet from a private account...

people attribute a very high proportion of mental health symptoms to childhood trauma, and i used to think it was very cheesy to pigeonhole so much of what drives mental health, but over time i've come to accept that the proportion of symptoms caused by trauma is just really huge

last last thing for real. i don't hold ill will toward my mom. i think she did her best and we just have to deal with what cards we were handed. all things considered, despite what i've said, my circumstances are pretty good. i bring it all up for the sake of understanding myself, not for the sake of placing blame or whatever.

cool. i think i got all of my thoughts out. gngn

#text #i actually moved this from...another tumblr #realizing i kinda wanna keep these more private lmao

[excitingpropertychronicles]

09-25-23

Writing this in the tub the day after about my amazing first date. And how it went from starting conversation to where we are currently now. I told him that I'm really excited about this and don't want to forget or a miss a moment.

Welcome to my stream of consciousness with not much structure or rhyme or reason.

I'm not sure if I want to show him these immediately or wait and save them up. I want him to have untapped access into my thoughts. Like he's reading my journal because that's exactly what this is. This Tumblr will help our potential dynamic thrive through the feedback I communicate and the ease of reading my thoughts, unfiltered. Good. Bad. It'll all be here.

So let's get started...

So I'll call this person M..

We've met mostly in passing at many kink parties and I didn't think much of it. M sent me a friendship a month or two ago and I never thought much of that either. We interacted briefly on posts. So I decided to reach out finally the night before last. We ended up just really connecting and messaging until 3am. And decided to plan a date very fast and soon within a day..

So I went into it knowing I've been carrying hurt over losing my last Dom J.. and feeling scared and closed off a bit... with this new fresh fear of abandonment.

We agreed to meet up for burgers. And he started talking about his career choice and I found my thoughts wandering in awe of how amazing of a human was sitting in front of me. And how inspiring he is. Potentially a good role model..

He made me feel instantly comfortable.

We both got chicken bites and I was raw with him from the get go. Open about learning about my new eating disorder and how it made things click. And he just made me feel safe ..

We left and walked back to my place because I had met him in public many times and felt safe doing so. Had an amazing game of Mario party. I'll note I did win. 😉 I know looking back at this bit will make me giggle and smile some day..

Things professed into more..

Starting with spanking.. progressing into more intimate. Hair pulling. Biting. Fingering. Sex.

He accidentally made me red by hitting my pussy really hard when I was really sensitive from him taking orgasms from me so many times. And he was so sweet and remorseful and it spoke volumes to my heart. And made me feel incredibly safe. To feel comfortable in communicating my reds and yellows and all the in betweens...

He brought up conversation about how he was happy he found me. He was taking tonight as an interview of sorts. He was gonna about to be at a point in his life where he wanted to look into owning a slave. And thought I would have a strong negative reaction. I was a little unsure at first but they didn't last long... the idea of it.. serving him.. exploring that.. it just clicked and unlocked something in me.. I had just said not even a day earlier how I was not sure I would ever do or even consider M/s again. And here comes this sexy human bodly proclaiming very early into interactions that potentially I could be a good fit for that. Regardless of what the intent was or that response he expected. I weirdly found myself wanting.. more than anything in my body and soul to just be his. To serve him. Call it an immediate connection. A positive gut reaction.. whatever you will. Neither of us are even sure.. but having a first date with someone and knowing hey this could potential be my Master. My last one. Or last one for a long time. Where ever the cards may fall. I found myself wanting and craving this more than I've ever craved serving a human. And I've been in a lot of dynamics in my life. He just lights my fire. I want him to control me. On deep intimate levels... I want him to help me a better slave but more importantly a better person for myself and for him.

The idea of wearing his collar. Kneeling at his feet. I just want nothing more. The idea of giving him the key to my place with unlimited access. CNC. Being his. It just feels so organic and right and I'm not going to fight it..the idea of being in his cage.. in his dungeon. Being his. Him feeding me by hand and a bowl at his feet it just feels perfect. And I've never been happier than at this prospect. He's going to be here soon for a brief visit which I'm sure will be my next post. Ttys journal btw should I show him this at the meet? Leaning yes. 😈 also rip my poor cervix for the indefinite future. 🤣