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maddipoof · 1 year

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There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time 🪷- Character pairing, tell me somethings about yourself and pick a fandom and gender preference and I’ll ship you with someone <3

hello. (i've returned from my writing blog) i'm espie, i'm a sag, i like riding horses, rodeo stuff, Ned LeDoux, and i'm 4'10 (at the ripe age of 20 years old i'm not even 5'0 😭) and I have a duck named Boe and four horses named Bepp, Bonk, Bash and Judith.

stranger things men please!

Auwll right...I don't know....I'm trying to think what one would be the most open to like being a cowboy for you....

I think Eddie, honestly, he'd be all about it. I don't know how he'd feel about the music but he'd do it for you. I know a lot of people think like he must have gotten loads of girls but never had a girlfriend because they were ashamed of him I'm sorry, No. He's a freak for a reason and it has nothing to do with the sheets. He's a little weirdo and I love him. So he does not know how to boyfriend but he does know This is my person, I love them, I do everything for them. So you never have to worry about being too short to reach because he's slowly and sneakily been moving all the things you use most often in the trailer to places you can reach (which does lead to a very confused Wayne waking Eddie up at 5 to find the coffee for him) there are a few things still up top but he gets those for you so it's ok.

(I don't know how you get on your horses and I've only really ever ridden english so I don't know if western is different but we're gonna roll with it, I also don't know what the rodeo scene is like in indiana so just bear with me) So you introduce him to your horses and he loved the names already and now he's met them and he's a lil afraid but he gets over it when you push his hand out to give them treats and he won't look until he sees that his hand did not, in fact, get bitten off. So he loves them and you show him how to ride and he is not into it. But he did try "Sweetheart, I love you, I love you but I can never do that again." He didn't even have a bad experience or anything, (speaking as someone who's fallen off of multiple horses, multiple times) It's just not for him. But he loves it for you, he also loves helping you on, like doing the jumpy-lift thing and he just hoists you up.

He doesn't know if the rodeo people are going to be like Get this freak out of here, but then you tell him he'll be fine so you go together and he loves it. He thinks they're the coolest thing and the whole time he's saying he'd do better, he'd stay on longer, this looks easy. But then you make him do the mechanical one(because you're not trying to kill him) and he actually stays on pretty long but then you pull him away to the barrel racing before he gets too cocky and decides he's ready for the real thing.

He absolutely learns the songs you like on guitar for you, he has an acoustic guitar somewhere under his bed and he pulls it out, restrings it, the whole bit, and makes Corroded Coffin learn 2, he wanted more but they wouldn't budge and this is the closest they could come to a compromise.

I hope you like it<3<3<3

#espie🌼#dell's moots #della celebrates 100

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asksuccubussides · 1 year

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(Hi, it’s me. First ask of the new blog. I can’t wait to see where this will go. Also I’m not sure if you (Lukas) want people coming over from the last blog to use the same sign off. Mine was Glow Eyes. Or if you want us to come up with new ones. Either way is fine but I wasn’t sure. Anyway onto the ask.)

Hello Roman. I hope you enjoyed Venice. I’ve never been myself but it sounds beautiful. I’m just a friendly traveler from another dimension and was wondering if you could tell me a little bit about yourself. Thanks in advance.

(You can come up with a new sign off if u want to C:)

Roman stopped abruptly as you appeared in the middle of the way. Remus had zoned out while following him so he bonked right into his brother's backside.

"Look! it's some....thing!"

"Want me to poke it with a stick?"

You began telling your message to which Roman jumped back and swung both his arms and tail around to try and keep you away. He did it in a very sophisticated and heroic way....obviously.

"It speaks!"

Remus cracked his knuckles "I'm getting a very sharp stick. Got it"

While Remus was looking around in his pockets for a knife you had time to say the rest of your message.

"Wait!" Roman waved at her brother to not stab "It's just an avid fan of mine! A secret admirer! No worry, I will gladly tell you about my humble self!" She had a big stupid smile on her face "To start off I am incredibly pretty, talented and hard working"

Remus sighed sadly and found a random spot on the wall to stab at instead. To be around the same eye level as you Roman hunched down on the ground.

"I am Very popular also! As you can tell by the fact that you wanted to speak to me! Instead of that thing"

"He's only popular among random humansssss" Remus teased. A bit of the wall paint had started to go off "No one gives a single fuck about some random succubi in hell"

"I would be far more popular over here if I wasn't stuck in the same squadron as a Certain Someone who sucks at his job! Remmm! now you distracted me! I was supposed to talk about myself ,not shit talk you! Annyyywaaay, I'm a bit of a nerd for humans. I just Love all the stuff they come up with! Like art, theater, time, gender, It's all so creative! And pretty!"

"I like when humans put demons in their media so I can laugh at how wrong they are" It was about the only human media Remus ever looked at without someone else nagging him into looking at it.

"But it's so sad! I was totallly born in the wrong generation you see. I'm so jealous of Remy and Emile who got to be around when impressionism was born! Can you IMAGINE meeting Claude Monet!? John Bauer!? And don't even get me started on the demons who got to be around for the Rococo times! The romanticism! FUCKING RENAISSANCE!?"

"Bro you're going to explode if you keep thinking about that- Hey look I'm like 5 stabs around from creating an impromptu glory hole in this wall!"

Roman rolled his eyes and turned back to you "My dear fan, I know he is annoying but at least his existence makes me even more amazing. Believe it or not but we're not just incredibly similar, we're twins! Pretty unusual for demons I know. Very cool"

"HAH! HOLE! Take that wall!"

#thanks for the ask <3 #sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #sketch

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helloliriels · 2 years

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Hi, thanks so much for your dedication to perpetuating Johnlock in years to come! I've been a shadow member of the community on ao3 for years, but I have never ventured into writing any Johnlock fic, and tbh, not sure if I want to. BUT I am interested in both beta'ing and podfic'ing, and I just made this blog to get started. Any advice for beginners and breaking into the community on tumblr?

... love it!!! 💕

Such an amazing community, I really hope you will be at home here and find some great connections for both beta and fics to help bring to life!

I think it's exciting to see more people doing what they love and not necessarily what they think is expected in the fandom. Every kudos and hello means a ton to me! Do what you wanna! There is someone that would work great with you!

I'm super grateful for The Johnlock Podfic Club @johnlocky for encouraging and reaching out to others to join in the fun! And to @fluffbyday-smutbynight for reaching out to say 'HI!' when I went searching for a beta and found a friend (partner in crime)! And @ohlooktheresabee who gave amazing encouragement and great tips on starting up a podfic!! Think there is also a great post about making podfics on AO3? @podfixx creation? (will find and link)

As an author, it's a HUGE help to have someone to talk to and brainstorm on fics (and have them bonk you over the head when you keep writing It's instead of Its ... not ... ehem ... speaking from experience ...

I know how much effort goes into it personally. All I'm sayin'.

Also speaking personally ... I know podfics can take a lot of time and dedication. Nothing more exciting than getting permission to record a fic that you really love!! And getting to share it with more people to fall in love with (hopefully!) Haha

So in short (too late!) welcome, welcome and thrice WELCOME! (and tysm for the sweet words of encouragement!)

I am hopelessly Johnlocked! Join me!

on second thought ... did i answer the question?!

Reach out to people. Say hi. Move on if someone is a dick. Don't be a dick. Idk much else to say besides, get connected. Be brave. We don't bite ... often (and honestly, that was before the rabies shot! So ... ). Links to some great peeps in JL community (i see it needs updating! will work on that this next week!)

#its cozy here #in tumblr hell #sherlock fandom #sherlock community #say hi!

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kris-p-banana-bread · 3 years

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Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

#bear talks #doafp #robert cañero reed #bobby cañero reed #gabi cañero reed #elena cañero reed #camila doafp #sam faber #fun times #sorry?#I can write a cute fluffy fic to make up for it #i cri #also sorry if I made these a bit too much about bobby #I just relate to him as the older sibling #I added some more so if it got out of hand I’m sorry #tell me and I can make it neater #my meticulousness might just make myself do that on my own tho

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arethereanyoriginalusernames · 4 years

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ZP Fanfiction Review

Hellooo internet! Welcome to GAAAAAAYYY THEORY-

I am so sorry.

Anyway, welcome to what I can only call a test run for a series I've decided to start. For more info, I'd recommend reading my previous post. To give a brief explanation, I criticize written works done by others in order to help myself and others improve, and recently I've turned my attention to ZP fanfiction (as you do). This series is in no way meant to shame anyone or anything like that. I am simply stating my opinion, and anyone reading this can take whatever they want from it.

Now, while I do take requests, for the first few of these posts, I put the titles of random fics that I have read, and pulled one out at random. Since I admittedly haven't asked these writers for permission, if one of them contact me and wish for me to take a review down, I will. Do not send any negative bullshit to anyone whose fics I review.

With that said, I hope you enjoy, because today we're going to look at a fanfiction posted on Wattpad by a Tumblr user known as @thiccdemonlover69-blog. Now, something I want to make clear is that this was written back in 2017. This isn't representative of this user (who I will refer to as TDL) 's current writing abilities. The fic in question is this one here,

So, originally, I was going to do a full synopsis of the story, but I ultimately decided against it. Not only did it make the post longer than it needed to be, but knowing myself, I would undoubtedly leave something out by mistake. Therefore, I encourage you to read the story before continuing this review. I will be going through it chapter by chapter, and I will give my thoughts on each one.

*****************

Chapter 1 "A Normal Day... or so Damian thought "

Not too much to say here since this is an introductory chapter and not much really happens in it. Because of this, however, I thought that I would take the opportunity to address what I already predict will be an elephant in the room.

Like most of us fans, TDL has their Headcanons and theories about the ZP characters. You'll notice in the story that Satan and Damian have a slightly different relationship than in the comic, as Satan is more present in his son's life here. This is just an example of what I'm talking about. Now, I actually don't have a problem with this by itself. I'm all for writers including their own unique ideas in fanfiction, however, I have a problem with some of the changes made by TDL to the characters and setting. There's nothing egregious here, but as we go on, I think you'll be able to understand what I mean.

One positive for this chapter is that it serves its' purpose as an intro very well. We get an idea of the upcoming conflict without it being spelt out.

Chapter 2 "At Hell No. 2 (School)"

Ok, so overall this chapter in itself isn't terrible considering how it introduces the relationships between various characters here and further sets up the upcoming conflict. However, I have to ask some questions about the characters. First, I've noticed that throughout the story, certain characters that you'd expect to make an appearance I guess just don't exist here. Sahara and Narissa (Dame's mum), for instance, have apparently been snapped by Thanos. Meanwhile, some characters have noticeably different personalities. Jack, for instance, is much less shy and passive and has more or less taken on Zill's personality. Also, I guess he and Dame are buds now. Kayla... is a whole topic that I will touch on later. Eli wasn't introduced in the comic, and the best we have is his character sheet, so I guess he's ok here? Addi is in character, Autumn barely exists, Zill... just kind of exists? Finally, Dame has had a few weird changes to him that I'll touch on in a bit.

Ch. 3 "A Not-So-Normal School day"

Ok, so let's talk about Kayla real quick, shall we?

A common sin committed by inexperienced writers is the tendency to villanize characters in order to push the narrative forward. In this story, Kayla is practically cartoonish in how awful she is. She's physically harmful, a bitch, a homophobe, and is overpossesive of Zill. I get the idea that TDL doesn't like Kayla, because to me it seems like she was turned into a bitchy Leeson. Now, Kayla in cannon can get frustrated and angry at times, but for the most part, she's a nice person. She's the type to defend others against bullying, and would never bully someone else. Not only that, but I don't buy this version of Kayla because canonically she's scared of Dame. His appearance alone is enough to make her yeet herself across the room. If she did something such as knocking something of his off his desk, she'd probably panic.

I can only imagine two reasons why she was changed in such a way. One, to have Damian not crush on her. Now, if this is the case, I don't think villainizing Kayla is necessary. You can just say that Damian outgrew his crush on her and be done with it. Two, is to create drama. If this is the case, is Kayla really the best candidate for the drama causer here? I wouldn't think so, and you could probably replace Kayla with someone who'd be more likely to bully someone, like Rusty or Baltimore or something.

Aside from Kayla, another problem I want to mention is that art class scene. Addi's mum getting a minor to pose nude in front of his class is actually kind of creepy, and I don't believe that it would be aloud.

Chapter 4. "The Second, more worst bully"

First of all, that title could use a rewrite.

This chapter mainly exists so the story can show how much of a bitch Kayla is now, and I've already spoken about that. I will mention some positives, however. Something I like in this story is whenever TDL adds in little details like characters having secret handshakes or characters eating dinosaur nuggets. I know this seems small, but this random little specifics give the story a cute, quirky charm that I am here for.

Chapter 5. "The Moment Damian has Been Waiting for "

Not too much goes on in this chapter. We get some funny bit of dialogue ("Ooh, is that drama I see" made me crack up) and a wierd scene where Dame is suddenly One Punch Man, and he cracks Jack's skull open by simply bonking him on the back of the head.

Since there's not much to say, I want to take the opportunity to talk about Damian in this story. First, again, I don't have an issue with writers adding in their ideas to their fics. The whole thing with him being a cross dresser? Cool. That's it. That is my entire thought on that.

There are some other changes that confuse me, however. For instance, the ADHD is integrated really weirdly. It gets brought up at really random times, nothing is really done with it, and overall it just seems to serve as a reason for Dame acting hyper. The story could have just had one line that said "Damian has ADHD " and nothing would have changed.

Another thing, and this isn't something exclusive to TDL, but apparently Damian is homosexual. Not bi, just gay. This is a change I actually see a lot of the time with Dame, and I don't know why. Like... is it so difficult to imagine him liking more than one gender? Do you think that he needs to be gay in order to be in a homosexual relationship? Because he doesn't. Bisexuals can do the same thing as gays. It's just such a random change that it just bugs me.

There's also the fact that Damian is apparently amazing at everything. He's an A plus student, a great actor, a great artist, etc. I'm not sure what TDL is going for with this angle. It's something else that just seems random, because the only thing that this does is make teachers confused about why Dame is sad and it makes other characters freak out about how brilliant Damian is.

Chapter 6. "The Date"

Ok, let's all just admit it. Damian going "RIBS RIBS RIBS RIBS..." is in one way or another a fucking mood for everyone. Don't you fucking lie to me.

The interactions between Eli and Dame are mostly cute, and we get some funny dialogue here too. The one issue I have is something not exclusive to this chapter, and it's how Damian is kind of treated like a child. Characters talk about him like his a little kid, and even the way Eli talks to him to calm him down in this chapter is (to me) reminiscent of a babysitter dealing with a hyperactive kid. I bring this up now because I want you all to remember this. It will get creepy later on...

Chapter 7. "The crazy household of Damian "

Easily my favorite chapter.

We still get bits where Dame is kind of treated like a child, but it's barely noticeable here. TDL is actually pretty good at writing wholesome scenes and scenes where a couple characters are just hanging out. This chapter actually reminded me of events that happened in my own life, so believe it or not, I actually got a nostalgia hit reading this. This chapter just put a smile on my face. Shame that it came right before the worst chapter. Buckle in kids.

Chapter "It's Time... and Absolutely Everything goes to shit"

What a fitting title!

First, let's talk about how not a lot in this chapter makes sense. Ok, so everyone knows that Kayla doesn't like Dame and shit could go down if they ever cross paths. And yet, they bring Damian to a party at Kayla's house, and act surprised when shit hits the fan. This happens again when Damian tries to talk to Kayla, and she spits in his drink. I don't know what any of these characters were expecting. There's a weird focus on food in this chapter. Kayla ironically becomes a badass because she decks someone and immediately follows that up by heading off to pop lock and drop it on the dance floor. Zill exists, and he's drunk. He makes out with Damian because.... Kayla's a homophobe? I think that's the reason? Jack literally gets into a fucking wrestling match with Kayla. Rusty is just here. Eli disappears for a while, and I guess Addi just teleported out of the party because the only contribution that he makes is that he messes up the time.

Ok, my favorite scene here is when Dame is like "oh I don't wanna dance bc I sad" and Rusty just shows up for some reason and remarks very loudly that Damian is good at ballet. This info is so shocking, the DJ, who somehow heard this over the music, turns off the tunes, there's awkward silence, and then everyone laughs at Damian. No. I don't get it either. Like... how did anyone hear Rusty, how fucking loud was Rusty talking, how did people know who Rusty was referring to, why is the concept that a dude does ballet so shocking, especially when you'd think that the fact that he's the antichrist is more shocking? Like... am I just having a fucking stroke right now?

Oh, and remember how I mentioned how Damian is treated like a child in this story? Remember how Damian is a teenager, and in other words, a minor? So, apparently, not only do we learn that Damian once got a boner but his father spanking him, but apparently Styx, an adult, has had sex with Damian on multiple occasions. And yes, this info is revealed in throwaway lines. If you listen closely, you can faintly make out the sound of someone screaming "FBI, OPEN UP!"

Granted, TDL was a teen at the time of writing this, so no big whoop on their part. Still doesn't make this any less creepy.

Oh yeah, and Damian fucking dies at the end except he doesn't because plot twist, bitch! We were reading a Steven Universe fanfiction the entire time! Ok, no, this is actually another Headcanon by TDL, but st this rate, between the Headcanons which anyone who doesn't know TDL would be confused by and the characters acting weirdly, I am honestly having trouble saying for sure if this fic takes place in the comic's setting, or in some type of AU.

For brevity's sake, I'll just go over the last two chapters. Tldr, Damian is fine, Lucifer gets Kayla expelled, Kayla get tortured, Lucifer is super happy with himself, and everyone lives happily ever after.

*************************

If I had to sum up my feelings on this story, the first half for me is a mixed bag. It has its' glaring problems, but the humor and writing style make the fic endearing and enjoyable. If the story ended at "the Date ", I would have thoroughly enjoyed it. But then everything just kind of falls off the rails. Stuff happens because... well I guess just because. We get an unintentionally creepy ending to an otherwise wholesome trip, and the Headcanons included here are put in so randomly with no explanation that I can only imagine what someone who didn't have any context to them would say.

The thing is, I think that this fic actually gives a good example of a lot of problems beginners have. I'm certain that TDL nowadays could write a better story, and they certainly have potential. Hell, if one were to fix a few things in here, this fic would be a lot better.

Still, I hope that this review gives you at least a couple ideas of what to look for in some of your own stories. Also, feel free to tell me what you think.

I apologize for wasting your time.

- ATOUN

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