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skramad · 5 years

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3. On All The Smart People In The World And How They Inspire Me (as well as cause me anxiety)

April 20th, 2019

I think it is safe to say that I am unhappy. With myself; With life in general. And I I believe I am unhappy because I have stopped learning. I have what I think is intellectual complacency (...or laziness). Anything that is slightly challenging or that requires some effort to understand, my mind rejects. And this could be due to a variety of reasons - addiction to my phone which has lowered my attention span, addiction to television, lack of physical exercise, not a super healthy diet, low self-esteem, mild depression which I think I have been dealing with since college (not to be flippant), etc. I have practically stopped reading, other than mindlessly scrolling through Facebook/Instagram - which I do for hours, and minutes later have no recollection of what I have just seen/read. All of this to say, that I feel I am not living up to my potential. I don’t mean to sound pretentious when I talk about my ‘potential’. At this point, I am basically a zombie, so I think doing anything more than this would be “living up to my potential”.

This is not to say that I do not have any aspirations or interests. The hours of I have spent browsing the internet has led to something positive, in that, I have found several people in a variety of fields that are living up to their potential and are extremely inspiring to me. Some people that I have come across in the past few weeks are:

Mildred Dresselhaus - A female physicist who led such an aspirational and productive life as an academic. She truly and fundamentally understood solid-state physics and could share that understanding with anyone she met in an accessible manner. (Not to mention the beautiful marriage she had with fellow physicist Gene Dresselhaus)

Annamarie Tendler - A creative who makes vintage lampshades and is also an accomplished makeup artist. Also wife of comedian John Mulaney, whom I also very much admire. She just seems to be a funny lady with extremely well-defined/unique taste and sense of fashion. I aspire to have similarly unconventional taste, but that is grounded in substance, not simply unconventional for the sake of it.

Mayor Pete Buttigieg (now running for 2020 election) - He is the Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, who went to Harvard and then was a Rhodes Scholar and then served in Afghanistan and is a young, gay Mayor of a mostly conservative city. He is extremely articulate and smart, and knows 7 languages, one of which he learned simply to be able to read literature in the original language (this happens to be what made me admire him the most haha)

Brit Marling - Another creative, lead actress and co-creator of The OA. She seems so intellectually curious about some of the deeper questions about life, and her show deals with some of these questions. I feel bad that I have not engaged with it deeply enough (another consequence of my general disinterest/complacency). She also has unique taste in literature and art, and she is very beautiful.

Ali Abdaal and James Hamblin - Two very smart people who seem to have unlimited energy for life and learning, in a way that I deeply envy. Ali Abdaal is a medical doctor in the UK and runs a Youtube channel where he talks about studying tips/ how to be a good student, as well as other interests of his. James Hamblin is a medical doctor and senior editor of The Atlantic. He writes articles related to health and wellness, is very funny and also has a variety of interests.

That was longer and more random than I expected, but these are all people that I have spent considerable time admiring from afar <read stalking on social media> for the past few weeks. And they all have a few things in common - they all have a strong sense of who they are, they have curated a unique variety of passions and seem to be lifelong learners, and they all read. So I deeply respect them and many other people like them. However, a bad habit that I have when learning about such people is to look down on myself and to develop a frantic urge/anxiety to be them. But that anxiety is not sustainable and ultimately leads to discouraging me, causing me to give up.

I sincerely apologize for the verbose self-analysis, but I think it is necessary for me to lay out what I hope to change about myself. So let me get on to that part. What am I going to do next? I’ve decided that I no longer wish to remain this way (surprise, surprise). I have a constant anxiety that there is so much to do, so much to learn and I am missing out, so I would like to try to use this constructively. I read a bit of this book called The Happiness Project. And I would like to make this next year of mine a learning project, which I think will ultimately make me more happy.

So there you have it, World! (if anyone is listening) On this 20th day of April, in the year 2019, I embark on a year-long journey that shall henceforth be known as The Learning Project!

More details to follow. Thank you for sticking with me for this long.

#smartpeople #learning #motivation #anxiety #TheLearningProject #selfanalysis #maybe too much #ruminature

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aruneshgoyal · 4 years

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The Contextual Flashback 2: 1991 till 2005

Mahesh and Shakila were both studying at the Cambridge University, UK/England/Great Britain or simply Britain as it is referred to as, even though they had come from vastly different backgrounds. While Mahesh belonged to a traditional yet modern in its approach towards life, Hindu family, Shakila came from an orthodox Muslim household.

She had somehow prevailed over her family members to let her go abroad for further studies in a field she was crazy about – bioinformatics, largely owing to the love and fondness showered on her by her grandpa – Miyan Taiyab Ali. Mahesh was pursuing a related course – biotechnology. Even as Mahesh and Shakila came to know and became well acquainted with each other because of their related fields of study, one particular incident stood out in bringing them still closer.

Mahesh had already developed a strong liking for Shakila due to her easy and pleasant mannerisms, not to mention her sheer charm and beauty, not only in body but spirit as well since she was always willing to help those in genuine need such as helping out her classmates, who were not endowed with as much intelligence as her, with her detailed intelligent notes as also her easy, clear, and precise explanations for things, which they found rather difficult to comprehend and understand.

One fine day, Mahesh and his friends had gone out of the University Campus for their evening walk and a stimulating warm cup of vintage coffee served at the nearby Indian restaurant – ‘Muskaan.’ It was winter time and really cold outside. On their return journey, they came upon an old decrepit man, shivering from head to foot, with literally no protection from the cold. All he was wearing was a torn shirt and half pants with stitches all over. The man looked in their direction with hopeful eyes, almost imploring them to do something for him. While his friends just mocked around, making fun of him, Mahesh immediately pulled out his red jacket, which his father had so fondly arranged for him on the eve of his pending overseas odyssey, and handed it across to the old man, who, in turn, bowed his head down humbly to Mahesh. But, Mahesh told him politely – “Baba! Don’t do this. You are just like my father. I have done nothing for you. Rather, it is you who have given me an opportunity to serve others. I thank you for that from the core of my heart!” His friends had realized their folly by now and pooled a sum of fifty USD from amongst themselves giving it over to the old man, who was just left speechless, flabbergasted, and wonder-struck at the sudden turn of events. Soon, the news of this incident reached the Cambridge Campus and spread like wild fire all over the place.

It was Shakila’s turn now to develop a strong and healthy soft corner for Mahesh in her heart of hearts. At the annual convocation of the University in 1995, both Mahesh and Shakila were due to receive their respective doctorate degrees by the Vice-Chancellor, Mr. Maenakshaw. Both of them had secured top honors in their fields of study and were to be awarded additional gold medallions for excellence and dedication in their study areas. At the convocation, Mr. Maenakshaw also spoke about the “old man” incident, praising Mahesh and his friends for their noble act. He called out to everybody present on the occasion to follow in their footsteps and go out of the University not only to earn money but also to do service to their fellow beings, upholding the good name of the University and adhering to human values and moral ethics in their future life.

It was time now for Mahesh and Shakila to leave for their respective native nations and bid goodbye to each other. But, the bond of strong love between them was just too difficult to prevail over for both of them. Finally, Shakila came over to Mahesh’s apartment one fine evening and asked him straight in the face – “will you forget me and the University days once you are back in India?” Mahesh’s reply to this rather crude query was a quick one – “how can I? I may forget myself but I can never forget my golden days in the University and all the time I have spent in your good company!” “Then, promise me one thing. You shall always write me every day about your welfare or even phone me, if possible!” “Why not” – quipped Mahesh, and on that note, they left for India and Pakistan respectively.

Once in Pakistan, Shakila was back to her normal routine akin to that before her leaving for UK in 1991. Moreover, she was confronted by her Dadu Jaan, Miyan Taiyab Ali’s poor state of health. The doctors had all but given up and he was virtually on the deathbed by 1999 and had only one last desire to be fulfilled – seeing off his heart throb, Shakila, after marrying her to a suitable and handsome young Muslim gentleman before his own eyes.

Meanwhile, Mahesh was writing Shakila quite regularly, even going to the extent of informing her that he had talked about their love, while in UK, in his Indian family, who had agreed to their marriage, albeit, after a bit of disapproval and resentment. But, Shakila had hardly any time to respond, busy as she was, owing to her grandpa, Miyan Taiyab Ali’s pending illness. Then, one fine evening, Mahesh could take and bear it no longer and telephoned her to know exactly what was going on as he was quite sure that Shakila was sincere towards him and must be having some sound and strong reasons for not being able to respond to his frequent letters and communicate with him.

Incidentally, the receiver was picked up by Taiyab Ali, who knowing that the call was from India, immediately realized that it must be something important and significant! His feelings were further strengthened by the fact that they had no living relations in India. In fact, all of their near and dear ones were well settled in Pakistan itself. He was pleasantly surprised to hear – “Salaam Walekum!” from the other end. “Walekum Salaam,” said Miyan Taiyab Ali, suddenly looking interested now.

“Can I please speak to Shakila with your kind permission now?” – said the voice from the other end again. Although Taiyab Ali was quite orthodox in nature, but still there was an extra something, call it a sheer sense of urgency in the pleasant voice he heard, that he replied perforce – “Yes! You may talk to her but not more than two minutes!!”

“Sir, please make it twenty minutes!” “Twenty minutes, that’s too long! Anyway, how do you know Shakila and what’s your name?” – thundered Miyan Ji.

“Honorable Sir, Myself Mahesh, a batch mate of Shakila’s at Cambridge University, UK!” Immediately, Miyan Ji understood the reason for the call and, in turn, called out to and sent for Shakila to come over and take the receiver from him.

To tell you the plain truth, he was possibly touched by the politeness and humility of the guy from India as also his pleasant and decent mannerisms had had a mesmerizing effect on him. After Shakila and Mahesh’s conversation on the phone for a good ten minutes was over, Miyan Taiyab Ali approached Shakila directly – “do you like Mahesh?” Shakila could make no reply and shyly ran into the interiors of the house, confining herself to the safe custody of her room. Miyan Ji could make out that Shakila liked this urbane guy from India very much and asked her to get Mahesh to fly to Pakistan immediately so that he can personally meet the guy. It took Mahesh almost a week to arrive in Pakistan as he had some urgent work in the office to attend to. Miyan Ji had a complete glance over Mahesh, surveying him up and down, and the vast experience of Miyan Taiyab Ali told him in no uncertain terms that the guy, although a Hindu, came from a good family and had been brought up in a sincere, dedicated, and devoted environment. Moreover, he could very well surmise that Mahesh would make a good match for Shakila in spite of their vastly different religious and family backgrounds. Mahesh’s happiness knew no bounds when he was asked by Sir Taiyab Ali to get his family over to Pakistan for his wedding with Shakila as per Muslim rites.

Mahesh’s family in India, especially his parents, had no objection to the proposal put up by Miyan Ji, but on their part, Shakila’s family too would have to come to India for this marriage by Hindu rites so that the families on both sides were completely satisfied. His family also proposed a Hindu name – Saraswati, for Shakila, after marriage in India. There is a bit of disagreement over this new proposal but Mahesh soon found a way around this problem as well. His solution was simple and straightforward. While Shakila’s Muslim household could continue to refer to her as Shakila, her Hindu in-laws would address her by her new adopted Hindu name – Saraswati.

After all this period of turmoil and turbulence, peace finally reigned on both sides as Mahesh got married to Shakila alias Saraswati in both India and Pakistan with much fanfare and gaiety. This red letter day for both the families was 15th February, 2000. While all arrangements for the wedding were made in Pakistan in the early morning, the marriage ceremony In India took place in the late evening hours so as to enable families from both the sides to be together for the big occasion in the respective nations.

Although the schedule was a bit hectic, nobody on either side was complaining. In fact, everybody enjoyed the two ceremonies to their heart’s content. After the marriage, as Shri Taiyab Ali Sahib came back to Pakistan, he was quite disconsolate and not quite able to forget Shakila, his darling grand-daughter.

Meanwhile, Shakila alias Saraswati had adjusted to her in-laws and the new household quite nicely. In fact, she was virtually on the moon to be part of such a nice family after marriage, especially Mahesh, who doted over her a lot and often used to calm her down in her moments of distress about her grandpa – Taiyab Ali. Gradually, his love made her forget almost everything and she bore him a baby girl in 2002. Mahesh wanted the child’s name to begin with ‘S’ after her mother and soon, they lovingly named her ‘(S)haloo.’ It was Mahesh’s turn to be on the moon now and he was just crazy about Shaloo, spending time and playing around with her a lot. He always had the feeling that Shaloo resembled Saraswati so much that she was as if Shakila alias Saraswati reborn.

The news from the other side of the border was not so pleasant, though. Taiyab Ali was literally counting his last days and his one wish now was to see Shakila and Shaloo – his great grand-daughter. Shakila sought permission from Mahesh and her in-laws to visit her parents towards the end of 2002. Although Mahesh was not quite inclined to live without Shaloo, he gave due precedence to Miyan Taiyab Ali’s wishes and somehow allowed his dear wife and even more endearing daughter to leave for Pakistan after seeking a promise from Shakila alias Saraswati that she would be back in India to celebrate the coming birthday of Shaloo together. And, as things turned out, Saraswati kept her promise and date with Mahesh.

Exactly one year old now as Shaloo was in 2003, her great grandpa, Sir Taiyab Ali, breathed his last and passed away peacefully with Shaloo in his lap and Shakila in front of his eyes. The old man’s last few days, at least, had been brightened up somewhat in the company of Shakila and Shaloo. Shakila was quite distraught and fraught with grief as she broke the news to Mahesh over the phone but calm and composed as ever, Mahesh soothed her down with loving words and by telling her that death was but an inevitable eventuality of life.

He also asked her to immediately pack her bags and come back to India by the first available flight as her mission in Pakistan had been accomplished and achieved. Although they won’t be able to celebrate Shaloo’s birthday this year, they would get and look forward to another chance next year. But, at least, they would be together in these moments of distress and pain.

Shakila alias Saraswati heeded her dear husband’s words and sane advice and came back to India the very next day, with daughter Shaloo in tow. At the New Delhi International Airport, she had a grand reunion with Mahesh after almost a year of separation.

She had also brought with herself, her brother Hussaini Bhai, just seventeen years of age and knocking at the doors of the Pakistan cricket team, with some fine performances in the domestic circuit as well as against touring international teams (as part of the Pakistan Cricket Board XI team).

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vileart · 7 years

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Bitched Dramaturgy: Juliet Knight @ Kali

KALI THEATRE COMPANY presents

the premiere of:

‘BITCHED’ by Sharon Raizada

A pacy, sharply observed contemporary drama about

relationships, marriage, children, careers and having it all…or not…

October 25th-November 11th – Tristan Bates Theatre, London WC2

‘Bitched’ centres on the relationships and everyday lives of two vibrant couples: Rob and Ali, and Suzanne and Nirjay. The tangled subjects of love, marriage, parenthood, responsibility, ambition and careers are aired and debated in an often heated atmosphere amid polarising views and changing circumstances.

Will the couples stay together despite their differences…will they be able to balance parenthood, marriage and careers…will chasing the dream affect everything else…or will they somehow find a path to equality and happiness…Raizada asks all these questions and more.

What was the inspiration for this performance?

JULIET KNIGHT: As a working mother I have wanted to work on a project exploring motherhood for a long time so I was really excited when I read Sharon's script. My relationship with the themes of the play was deeply rooted in my own experience of juggling motherhood and work for the past sixteen years.

As a theatre maker I really thrive on collaboration so was excited to literally start on stage with a blank canvas. Exploring artists like Tracey Emin sparked the idea of a stage scattered with the cluttered life of a working mother; and Mary Kelly’s seminal 1972 short film Nightcleaners Part 1 made me very clear that the aesthetic for this piece of theatre would use realistic domestic items and stylised physical sequences to create the work of art.

Is performance still a good space for the public discussion of ideas?

JULIET KNIGHT: The story of Ali (‘Bitched’ protagonist) sees the journey of a financially dependent people-pleasing wife/mother to a self sufficient, financially independent working single parent. By following this story and facing uncomfortable portrayals of women and how they treat each other the audience are

invited to ask questions.

I am looking forward to fellow parents from the school gates seeing this production. Something in the live nature of theatre and chats in a bar after feels good for the soul. I spend a lot of time with a screen these days so I feel gathering around a stage and being part of a collective is what we need more of.

How did you become interested in making performance?

JULIET KNIGHT: As a kid I loved old black and white films. When I look back I realise I've always found great comfort and inspiration in stories. I trained as an actor and while I loved performing in my 20s, I started to enjoy the creativity of shaping and building a show. Finding the right piece of music to tell the story or watching actors discover their characters through an improvisation became joyful.

Is there any particular approach to the making of the show?

JULIET KNIGHT: I do not decide what the actors will be doing before I begin a process. I like to be brave enough to trust that the real discoveries that make a show have pieces of magic happen in the room.

One thing that excited me on ‘Bitched’ was when I set up a long improvisation with the actors and a room full of objects. I allowed them to go through an imaginary day in the life of their characters. Watching this improvisation fed into all the physical moments and helped to bring a playfulness to the text.

Does the show fit with your usual productions?

JULIET KNIGHT: I find myself working mostly in new writing or using theatre as a form of social change. Creating work at the women’s theatre company Clean Break with women who have been in the criminal justice system and working with organisations that engage vulnerable young people has shown me how powerful the arts is.

Last year I directed a show in Thameside Prison in south east London and watched the male prisoners engage, respect and create a professional production. The ethos of Kali and giving South Asian women a voice is something I feel proud to be part of.

What do you hope the audience will experience?

JULIET KNIGHT: I hope the audience will care about the female characters. I hope they feel the struggle of the characters and most importantly I hope they ask the question of whether parenting alone is the "real" answer. I would also hope that they find the humour in the piece and leave feeling uplifted.

What strategies did you consider towards shaping this audience experience?

JULIET KNIGHT: I spent a lot of time with Sharon Raizada, the writer, working through the text. I immersed myself in the world of the play with the designer for a day. I played games in rehearsals and created a safe space to make work. I decided that the play would be more effective with an audience experience on two sides in order to pull them even closer to the action.

By laying a laminate floor throughout the whole theatre it makes the audience feel they are in the set. I think this intimacy gives the audience even more opportunity to be at the heart of the story.

The award-winning KALI THEATRE presents new plays by South Asian female playwrights. Since it was founded 25 years ago, Kali has discovered and developed talent from across the UK and taken powerful new work to increasing audiences and critical acclaim.

This October Kali are delighted to present ‘BITCHED’, a contemporary new drama by Sharon Raizada, whose own experiences of becoming a mother led to her musings about having it all: marriage, children, job, happiness, equality.

7.30pm: ‘BITCHED’ at Tristan Bates: October 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th RUNNING TIME: 90 minutes straight through, no interval November 1st, 2nd 3rd, 4th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th

Tristan Bates Theatre, 1a Tower Street,London WC2H 9NP

Box office: 020 3841 6611 Tickets: £14 (£10 concessions)

Kali’s Artistic Director, Helena Bell, says: “I’m really excited that we’ll be back at Tristan Bates with Sharon’s lively, thought-provoking new play. ‘Bitched’ is very much a play for our times: about managing – and balancing - relationships and marriage, careers and parenthood that I believe will appeal to a very wide audience. It’s written with great heart and personal experience by Sharon Raizada who has a wonderful ear for dialogue and a sharp eye for character. I think audiences will be completely drawn into the world of the four – very strong – characters and I hope it’ll lead to much discussion afterwards.”

Sharon Raizada says: “Inspired by my own shock at becoming a mum, I wanted to look at the lives of modern women through the polar opposites of Ali and Suzanne. ‘Bitched’ takes an unflinching look at our lives as we try to negotiate the stresses of work, sex and kids, asking: is it an impossible task? I was very aware of the change in my own life that came with being a new mother; it was a shock to find the independence and autonomy of a young working woman that I’d always taken for granted, taken away, however temporarily.

“I naturally assumed I could ‘have it all’ and be on exactly the same level as my male friends and peers, but the experience of motherhood changed my role, my status and frankly my employability in a way that is much more similar to my mother’s experience than I wanted (and expected) it to be – I realised that maybe women have travelled a much smaller distance than I thought…”

Sharon’s work has been supported and produced by Kali Theatre, Royal Court Theatre, Soho Theatre, Hampstead Theatre, Oval House Theatre, ITV and BBC Radio 4. She is a graduate of the MPhil in Playwriting at Birmingham University and the Royal Court Critical Mass Writers’ Programme. She was a member of the Royal Court Invitation Studio Group and has worked on Emmerdale and hit CBeebies show ‘Apple Tree House’.

‘Bitched’ is directed by Juliet Knight whose many directing credits include: 'Zigger Zagger' by Peter Terson at Wiltons Music Hall with the National Youth Theatre, 'A Raison in the Sun' by Lorraine Hansberry with Synergy Theatre, 'Runts' by Izzy Tennyson at The Brighton and Camden Fringe Festival, 'Variety Hall' by Luke Barnes and 'Prime Resident' by Stella Duffy at Soho Theatre.

“Juggling motherhood and work is a recurring theme in my own life,” says Juliet, “so I am thrilled to be directing Sharon Raizada’s fresh new play which offers a much needed voice asking why parents struggle to fulfil their own needs and what is the cost? Why having children and raising a family in a partnership seems to offer little value or financial reward for the stay at home parent? And what roles do our employers and policy makers have in setting up a healthy home and work life balance?”

Juliet’s recent acting credits include 'Caught in the Net' by Ray Cooney at Vaudeville Theatre,'Tomorrow' by Sam Evans at The White Bear and ‘Eastenders’/BBC. Juliet is a lecturer at The Royal Central School of Speech and Drama and an Associate Director for The National Youth Theatre.

Kali’s success in developing and staging new plays is evident: ‘Mustafa’ by Naylah Ahmed was nominated for 4 Offies in the Off West End Theatre Awards as well as the Royal National Theatre Playwright Award; tour dates included a two week run at London’s Soho Theatre. Sonali Bhattacharyya’s play ‘Home’ was presented by Kali and led to a commission at Birmingham Rep and scripts for BBC series such as Eastenders and Holby City.

Kali Theatre was founded in 1991 by Rita Wolf and Rukhsana Ahmad to encourage, develop and present new theatre writing by women from a South Asian background. Kali seeks out writers whose work will challenge as well as entertain a wide audience. Original content and ideas are an essential part of the company’s mission to encourage writers to reinvent and reshape the theatrical agenda.

Kali has contributed to the development and support of several important new writers and has become a natural home for women seeking new ways to express and explore contemporary issues and human interest stories. Helena Bell became Artistic Director last year. Kali’s annual TALKBACK readings have previously taken place at the Arcola Theatre, Oval House, Soho Theatre and Tristan Bates Theatre. Past Kali writers have presented plays across the cultural spectrum and written scripts for BBC TV, Channel 4 and other theatre companies.

from the vileblog http://ift.tt/2yNja66

#Theatre #Blogger #visual art #Edinburgh Fringe #Experimental Critique

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