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asciendo · 3 years

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Secret Mission

Zuko leaves on a mission with Sokka without telling.

He expects to be. welcomed with open arms when he returns, but you have other plans for him.

I think I read a fic in the past that inspired me for this one!

It’s been two weeks since Sokka and Zuko left on their secret mission. It wasn’t really a secret on what they were doing but the fact that they left without telling anyone was what made it a secret.

Azula’s ships were spotted two mountains down from the campsite and Zuko knew she was carrying heavy explosives for the war. Him and Sokka were adamant on tracking her ships and destroying the explosives, but they all knew that her ships were heavily guarded.

“Look, we don’t even know if the explosives are actually on the ship!” Katara argued. “No, I do know! I was there when they were planning the transaction!” Zuko paced around the camp.

“I agree with Zuko, it could make a huge difference for the war!” Sokka joined Zuko standing up as well. “Knowing Azula she probably changed her plans since you betrayed her.” You stated as you sat near the campfire because you were cold. “But what if she didn’t because she knew she’d be heavily guarded?!”

“That’s exactly my point! It’s too risky for the just a possibility that the explosives are on those ships!” Katara rolled her eyes at her brother. “THEY ARE ON THOSE SHIPS!” Zuko yelled back.

“Katara’s right. It was such a close call last time...I say we should wait it out.” Aang stated as he fumbled with air between his hands. Two weeks ago, Katara and Aang were trying to infiltrate one of Ozai’s camps to get information on their war plans, but Ozai hired extra mercenaries to protect the camp, which almost got them caught.

“That settles it. We’re not going.” Katara stated and headed back to her tent. The rest did too except you and Zuko. You sighed watching him slump on the floor in defeat. Zuko’s been struggling on his place in the group. He still feels like he has to prove he’s on their side and that he was useful. He never told you that, but you could tell it eats him up inside.

It’s been four months since you both were “officially” together after your failed friends with benefits run.

It was great being out in the open, you didn’t have to hide your affection towards each other, and you had more clarity on your relationship. You were honest and knew each other to the deepest core of who you both were. Although, neither of you could never rest when one was out on a mission while the other was back at camp, worrying on what could happen.

The time you and Katara went to steal food from a fire nation camp, Zuko stayed up all night until both of you returned. You remember seeing his shoulders slump in relief as you walked towards him, you simply winked carrying a crate of food, which he then took from you to carry, then placed a long kiss on your forehead. When him and Aang went to search for the fire bending masters you couldn’t sleep till he returned and jumped at him when he entered your now shared tent.

“Zuko.” You sighed as you sat next to him and leaned your head on his shoulder. He didn’t respond but continued staring at the fire. “Zuko, it’s too dangerous...and knowing Azula, she probably changed her plans with the explosives.”

“I know they’re there. I just know it.” he said through gritted teeth.

“Come on, it’s late. We should get some sleep.”

“You go ahead, I just need to think about some stuff.” You stared at him with a worried expression, but he immediately kissed you on the lips as a form of reassurance. You smiled then left. That was the last you saw him before he and Sokka took off on Appa.

2 weeks later, they still hadn’t shown up and the gang was getting nervous. Aang tried to hide it but he spent his mornings pacing around. Katara would stare at sky hoping for signs of Appa, so did Sukki, Toph would throw boulders while at first you wanted to try to find them, but had no idea where they were, would spend your days around the forest hunting and gathering food to distract yourself.

You were all laid out on the floor when suddenly Suki sat up. “Guys, I hear something.”

“So?” Toph scoffed, “No, it’s coming from above!” Suki jumped on her feet. “Yeah right.” You rolled your eyes, there were so many close calls thinking Sokka and Zuko were flying home that you didn’t want any false sense of hope that you’d see him again.

“NO SHE’S RIGHT IT’S APPA!” Aang ran towards you then fell in excitement. Your heart stopped, could it really be them? You sat up and stared at the sky. It was Appa. And you saw two figures on his back, Sokka and Zuko.

“YIPEEEE!” Aang danced around on an air ball. As soon as Appa landed Katara ran to Sokka and hugged him, so did Suki. Aang was next and squished both Sokka and Zuko in a huge hug and Toph high fived them both. Zuko laughed at all the attention then looked at you with a huge grin expecting you to run up to him as well, which automatically dropped when he saw your angry face.

“GUYS I’M SO HAPPY!” Aang continued to dance around the two. “Me too, but that was SO stupid!” Katara placed her hands on her hips. “Well...guess who destroyed two of Azula’s ships including all the explosives?” Sokka gloated as he strutted around the fire.

“NO WAY! I should have gone!” Toph stomped her foot on the ground which made the earth shake. “So there were explosives on the ships...” Katara blushed in embarrassment. “Told you.” Zuko said, but he was still looking at you with worry in his eyes.

“What took two weeks though?” Suki asked as she plopped herself on Sokka’s lap. “Okay, so good news, all the explosives were gone, bad news was we were captured after.”

“WHAT?!” the rest of you shouted in unison.

“BUT! We escaped and torched the Fire Nation camp that captured us.” Sokka winked.

“Sokka! That is so DANGEROUS! You two could have gotten killed!” Katara was yelling in Sokka’s face. “But we DIDN’T! And now we have a higher chance of winning the war.” Sokka smirked.

Katara and Sokka continued to argue while you and Zuko just stared at each other, both not knowing what to do. Obviously, you were happy he was back and safe but so angry he left and didn’t tell you. A few moments passed and you decided you needed some space.

“Well, I’m glad you both are safe.” You stated and walked into the woods. The gang became quiet and Zuko looked like he saw a ghost. “Uhm, I’m sorry man, but...you’re smoked.” Sokka shrugged and Katara hit him. “OW!”

You needed to be alone for a bit so you were taking your usual walk in the forest, forgetting for a bit that the trail was the same one you and Zuko took every night.

“Y/N!” you heard footsteps running behind from you, but you kept walking. “Hey, come on.” He placed his arm on your shoulder, so you turned around.

You looked at him with painful eyes and he softened his grip on you. “What’s wrong?” he placed his arms on your shoulders.

Both of you stood there for a bit, him waiting for you to say something, trying to read you. Suddenly, your soft expression turned into a hard one and you slapped Zuko right across the face.

He stumbled back grabbing his cheek that was now slightly pink. “WH-WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!”

“DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!” You yelled and continued walking. “DO WHAT?” Zuko followed you but now he was mad as well. “LEAVE!”

“I had to leave! Those explosives could have hurt hundreds of people, and we destroyed a fire nation camp as well.” He tried to explain himself but you kept walking away from him.

“I was right, wasn’t I? The explosives were on those ships!”

“That’s not the point Zuko!” you raised your arms in exasperation. “We destroyed the explosives that would be used against us! How could you be mad about that?!”

“That’s not why I’m mad!” you rolled your eyes even though he couldn’t see you. “Then why don’t you tell me instead of us wandering around here like idiots!”

“Y/N, will you please stop walking!” Zuko groaned in annoyance.

“No.”

“You’re impossible.” Zuko growled but still continued to follow you. “Then go back to camp!”

“No, I’m not leaving till we fix this.” You could hear a bit of desperation in his voice.

“Then too bad.”

“Y/N, we did what had to be done! It’s not like we left for no reason!”

“You really don’t get it, do you Zuko?” You stopped walking then looked at him, clearly he was clueless. “No, because you won’t tell me!” you sighed then gave up.

“You could have told me you were leaving!” You pleaded for him to understand but you could tell he wasn’t getting what you were trying to say. “It was my choice and you would have told me not go.” he said through gritted teeth.

“Yes but I would have known where you were.”

“What difference would that make? I still would have gone.” There was a pang in your heart because Zuko still had no idea what it was like wondering if he was alive every single day.

“Zuko...do you know what it was like waking up and you were gone. Not knowing if you were alright, if you were captured or or—“ tears started to trickle down your face. Zuko’s eyes widened and his hard expression quickly turned to softness and worry. The only time Zuko’s ever seen you cry was when you received news that your childhood home was burned down in the Fire Nation as they considered your father a traitor. The truth was, he was like Zuko, he knew what they were doing was wrong and left.

“You just left...without telling me...and I wondered everyday, every night, if you were okay and just hoped that I’d see you sleeping next to me somehow and that this was all just a bad dream.”

“Y/N I—“

“What if you died, Zuko?!”

“I didn’t—“

“But you could have and I’d be here...not knowing what even happened to you!”

“Y/N, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His eyes were pleading and you could see the remorse in his face.

“Do I mean that little to you?” Zuko’s face dropped and he instantly walked towards you and grabbed your face.

“Y/N...you mean everything to me.” He whispered as he caressed your face. “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“I-I thought it would be better...because you wouldn’t know what we were doing, so you wouldn’t feel guilty if anything happened...” he looked down, realizing how wrong he was. Zuko suddenly remembered all the times you went on a mission without him and how helpless he felt that he wasn’t there to protect you. He’d spend days with no sleep, pacing around the camp while looking for any sign of you returning. “It wasn’t better! Even if I didn’t like what you were doing but at least have the compassion to tell me!” you tried to pull away from his grasp, but he held on tighter.

“I know... I wasn’t thinking. I was just so sure I was right and I knew it would make a huge difference and I just wanted to—“

“You just wanted to prove you deserve to be on Aang’s side.” You finished and Zuko nodded slowly. Zuko was always skeptical if the team really trusted him, especially due to the fact that he used to chase them around trying to capture Aang.

“Zuko, it’s been months. Everyone trusts you and respects you, remember we’re on the same boat here, I’m from the Fire Nation too, you know.”

“I do...it’s just, I did horrible things to them. I always feel like I have to make up for it.” he turned away from you. “Zuko, you don’t have to make up for anything, I’m so proud of you for all that you’ve done, and how much you’ve changed. I just thought I had a bigger place in your life for you to tell me.”

“You are the biggest part of my life, Y/N. Don’t ever doubt that.” he cupped your face with his hands once more. “I’m so sorry I ever made you feel that way, it was selfish and—“

“And I’m so proud of how brave you are...it just scares me sometimes that you could just be gone...”

“Don’t you think I feel the same way when you’re out on missions?”

“At least you know where I’m going.” You smirked and he sighed but laughed after.

“I’m sorry, I should have been more considerate.” You smiled lightly. “But don’t ever think you mean little to me. You’re the only good thing in my life.” He kissed you on your forehead and you melted into his arms.

#zuko #atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #last airbender #aang #zuko x you #zuko x reader #zuko fluff #katara #sokka #appa #momo #suki #iroh #azula #ozai #nickelodeon #toph #mai #tai lee

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netflixbingger · 3 years

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I’ll Find You- Part 3

Chapter 3: Burned Memories- Prince Zuko x Reader

Masterlist: Pinned to profile :)

Summary: Y/N struggles to accept Zuko’s fate of Agni Kai.

Word Count: 1678 (Short, I know)

Warning: Agni Kai.

A dulled silence filled the gloomy halls as dark curtains covered the windows closing off any natural light from entering. You felt as if you were walking in slow motion towards the door; eyes heavy from tears, mind-numbed from thinking, and a burden of fear buried deep within your chest. As you reached your destination you saw Iroh slouched on a nearby bench; holding the same fearful expression as yourself. He looked up at hearing your footsteps and gave you a sad smile, nodding his head. He slowly sat up, exchanging a bow of respect before walking away; giving you and Zuko alone time. You were always grateful for Iroh, he was a beam of light in such a dark place.

It has been a little over a year since the New Year Ball and ever since then things amongst the royals have changed drastically. Azula was placed in a specialty fire bending school, Ozai banned any social ball exchanges, and the expansion of the Fire Nation grew. Though with all these new changes, there was one constant thing: Zuko.

After that night at the ball, you and Zuko made a promise for things not to change between the two of you. Even though his schedule was full of private policy classes and firebending training, he made the effort to see you as often as possible. Sometimes this would be accomplished by helping him study for a history test or a simple walk around the gardens. He never failed to make you feel wanted, and he did a good job reminding you that you were still his best friend. But given with age, you couldn't help but think there could be more than friendship between the two of you. You felt as if you were laying on the edge of friends and on the path towards a romantic relationship. You were always yearning to touch him in some way, and you’d occasionally catch yourself staring at him the same way your mother looked at your father. But though there was so much pulling you towards the boy, you ever acted on your feelings; you couldn't. He was a prince, planned to marry some high-ranked-ass-hole general's daughter. And you, you were nobody. You didn't belong in the palace, your family had no high nobility and it was obvious that his father hated you. You knew the only reason he allowed you to continue on with Zuko was because of Azula. For some reason, she talked to Ozai about letting you continue your palace visits. She claimed it was to practice her firebending with you, but you knew somewhere buried deep within her heart; she cared for you and Zuko.

Closing your eyes you reach your hand out towards the door, hovering it above the wood before knocking. You heard a sigh from inside the room and then within a second, the door swung open to reveal Zuko’s serious face. You both stared at each other for a moment before he stood aside and allowed you into his room.

You hung your head down as you stepped beside him, taking your time to examine his chambers. It was strange being here, you only remember his room from when you were very young and hiding from your duo of mothers. It was improper to be here alone with him, but you didn't care. Walking towards his bed, you danced your fingers along the silk sheets, pretending to examine them as Zuko watched from the doorway. But as the silence continued to loom in the air, you gave in, “Zuko please, you don't have to do this.”

“I don't have much of a choice, I disrespected the General” he sighed, walking towards his window; unlike the rest of the palace, his curtains were pulled open allowing the sunlight to glow along his skin.

“We could run away together?” you asked half-jokingly, hesitantly stepping forward toward the boy, “We could visit the other nations! Create new lives for ourselves, new names too!”

He continued to stare straight through the window, ignoring your pleas. You let go of his silk sheets as you made your way towards the boy. Standing beside him, your eyes scanned his face for emotion, for a sign of hope. Placing your hands on his arm like a child pulling at their parent, you continued on with your story, “Hmm, how about Izumi and Lee!”, you jumped at the idea, gripping his upper arm with much force.

“Y/n” head high held as he slid your hands off his arm and gently placed them down at your sides, “I can't just run away. I’m the prince, I have an honor and duty I need to withstand”

His refusal to meet your eyes burned your heart, he squeezed your hands before walking past you towards the door. You didn't know what to do, how to get him to stay. He was 13 years old and he was about to fight against a trained general. Your mind was racing on the possible outcomes, and soon enough your legs gave out from under you and you collapsed on the nearby chair. He turned around at the sound of the chair legs scraping across the floor and stared at you.

“Zuko, please” you pleaded with tearful eyes. You picked at your nails within your lap trying to distract yourself from the reality that is about to come. You heard Zuko release a breathless laugh before he made his way towards you. Kneeling down he took your chin in his hand and tilted your head up. A sad expression unmasked before you as he wiped your tears away with a forced smile. He rested his hand on your cheek before moving it towards your lap and lacing your fingers together. You can tell he wanted to say something, wanted to tell you something. But as your fingers danced with one another, the silence continued.

“I promise Y/N, it's going to be fine” he gulped before standing back up, stopping midway to place a kiss upon your forehead. He let his lips linger on your soft skin, taking a sniff of your perfumed hair before he retreated into a full standing position. You could still feel the burn of where his lips once laid. “I got this, besides we all know I can take down the General in my sleep”

You felt silenced, but you nodded your head as you knew it was time for him to go. He gave you a toothless grin before approaching the door once again, and just as he was about to walk out, you called, “Zuko wait”

As he stared at you, you wanted to run to him. You wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. You never held this strong of feelings before. But your heart was pulling at you to do it, to take the risk. You stood up, taking a step forward. If you weren't watching closely you would have missed how he leaned your way, opening himself for what was about to happen. He looked away from your eyes towards your lips as if he was yearning for the same touch.

But you couldn't move, you were too afraid. Taking a step back you bowed towards him, “Good luck, I’ll be waiting” your voice cracked as he sadly nodded in your direction before walking down the hall. Within a split second, you already regretted fighting the urge.

The next few hours felt like a nightmare. It all happened so quickly; the flames, the screams, the smell of burning flesh. Something you will never be able to remove from your memory, something that will haunt you for years to come. As Firelord Ozai’s banishment fled through your ears, pain began to fill your entire body. You must have gone into shock because one moment you collapsed into your crying mother's form and the next you were screaming and thrashing at the guards as they escorted you out of the palace: an order from Zuko himself.

He didn't want to see you. He refused to see you. He was willing to leave without saying goodbye.

You never experienced so much pain as you did that day. You lost your best friend and you lost your childhood: the innocence you once held has now vanished. Visions of fire and pain constantly flooded your mind. It was only a matter of a few weeks before your family was stripped of any nobility and your father was deployed to the Fire Nation front lines.

After that, everything began to shatter at once, and you were beginning to lose your mind. You felt as though you had been banished beside Zuko, and that Ozai was attacking you personally. It was when your father was announced a traitor for disobeying General commands that your mother decided you had no place in the city anymore. You were expelled from the Fire Nation Academy for Girls, your mother was banned from local shops and gatherings, and your father was sent to Boiling Rock.

As Ozai’s war spread further into the world, your mother wanted nothing to do with a nation that caused nothing but pain. You and her shed your red and black clothes, promising never to wear the color of fire again. You removed yourself from the studies of firebending and settled into an Earth Nation village called Gaoling. Here you led a normal life; worked in a soup shop with your mother, and learned the true history of the Fire Nation.

3 years passed since you last saw the banished prince, but the nightmares of his screams still haunted you. You loathed Firelord Ozai, and you made it your life mission to avenge his sins. So when you had run into the Avatar, you promised to help him in any way that you could. You explained how you knew the royals inside and out, you knew the city like the back of your hand, and you knew how to take Ozai down.

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Found this sitting in my drafts for a verrrry long time, but tell me what you think! And if you would like to be added/removed from tag list just let me know :)

Tag list: @sadgirlnumber92899 @fandom-addict-aesthetics @roastbeats @lammello @unicornwithachainsaw83

#prince zuko #prince zuko imagine #zuko imagine #zuko x reader #avatar zuko #prince zuko x reader #avatar last airbender #avatar #avatar fanfiction #zuko fanfic

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suntory-toki-senpai · 4 years

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Eyes on Fire | Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry it took so long to have this one up! My editor was out of town. I hope you guys enjoy and reblog to your heart’s content! I would love to reach this story further! I’m still accepting tagslist requests, please message me if you are interested!

Warnings: anxiety attacks and death mentioned.

Chapter 8 – Push and Pull

My eyes fluttered open just before dawn. I groaned and rolled over before I heard my grandfather’s soft knock on my bedroom door.

“Sayuri? There’s a carriage waiting for you out front,” he said from the hallway

I hummed in response. He opened the door and I heard the shuffle of his feet against the floorboards as he moved toward my bed.

“Sayuri, do you really want to keep the Fire Lord waiting?” he asked.

I groaned and sat up in bed. My grandfather handed me a steaming cup of ginseng tea to coax me awake. I dragged myself out of bed and splashed a bit of cool water on my face to wake me up. Behind me, I heard my grandfather shuffle out of the room, as soon as he was sure I wasn’t going to crawl back into bed. I sleepily walked over to my closet and pulled out some old training clothes. I had to dig my greaves and fire bending shoes out from the bottom of my dresser. As I attempted to get out the door, my grandfather shoved a bowl of rice in my face and insisted I eat it on the way over. I sat in the carriage and groggily stuffed chopsticks full of rice in my face, trying not to vomit as the carriage bounced on the uneven streets. It took even more energy than usual to focus on not being nauseated by the switchbacks up the mountain to the Caldera.

The Palace was still waking up as the carriage pulled to the main entrance gate. I peeked out the window to see the Kyoshi Warriors directing the gate attendant to open up. I stuck my head out and waved to them. They all waved back with their white faces breaking into bright smiles. I stepped out of the carriage and was greeted by Ty Lee, who was a force of nature even at the early hour.

“Sayuri!” she exclaimed. “It’s good to see you again!” She bolted over to give me a hug.

“Good morning, Ty Lee,” I said, my voice hoarse from grogginess.

“You’re not a morning person, I see. I love the mornings here. The Sun makes everything look so...fiery.”

I hummed in response. She was right, I’m not much of a morning person. My dad was a morning person; he used to drag me out of bed early in the morning to ensure I got to my Fire Bending Academy lessons on time.

Ty Lee walked me to the training section,off to the side of the Royal Gardens. It was a long, rectangular arena paved in cobblestones and lined with stone walls, with streams of water flowing at the edges. I was greeted by Katara and Momo.

“Good morning, Sayuri. Are you ready to start your water bending training?” Katara asked.

“Yes,” I nodded eagerly. I scanned the arena for the Fire Lord. “Where’s Zuko?”

“He isn’t going to be able to train with you today. Something urgent came up,” Ty Lee replied. My face fell.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be out later to check on you,” Katara soothed.

I pursed my lips in annoyance. “Let’s begin.”

“Show me what you can do,” she said. I glanced over at Ty Lee, who had plopped herself down on a stone bench and propped her head up with her hands. I looked back at Katara in confusion.

“Oh, Zuko said I have to keep an eye on Sayuri at all times while she’s here,” she said with a smile.

I furrowed my brow in confusion.

“He just wants to make sure you’re safe, Sayuri,” Katara said.

“He thinks I can’t protect myself,” I mumbled.

“He doesn’t think that…he’s just…”

“Overprotective,” I finished.

Katara smiled in response. “Now, never mind your neurotic boyfriend. Let’s begin. Show me what kind of water bending you can do.”

I nodded. I took a deep breath and focused on the water in the stream next to the wall. I pulled a bit of it out in a straight line before bending it into a whip and striking a tree.

“Good,” Katara noted. “You have a good grasp on the water. Now, let’s work on using it against your opponent.”

She showed me how to freeze the water with my breath and shape it into daggers. This was easy, but as we got to the more complicated methods of using water as a counter, I got stuck. Fire bending strikes and overwhelms your opponent, but water bending moves and counters.

“You have to feel the push and pull, Sayuri. Counter the attack, don’t force.” Katara said.

“Ugh,” I groaned heavily. I huffed out flames from my nose and assumed a counter position.

Katara nodded and lined soldiers up to shoot fireballs at me. I was expected to counter them only, not attack back. She nodded again and the soldiers took their cue to begin. Boom. Fireballs began pummeling towards me. I quickly shot up walls of water to block them, maneuvering myself in between the walls of water to shoot small streams and freeze the opponents. One soldier came up behind me and tapped me, meaning I was toast. Katara came over from her watch position and rested her hand on my shoulder.

“You did a good job today, Sayuri. I think we should take a break and pick it back up tomorrow,” she said.

“Yes, that’s probably best,” I said, trying to catch my breath. “I’m going to go see Zuko.”

“Uh, he’s still in meetings, Sayuri,” Ty Lee interjected.

I waved my hand dismissively at her and walked over to the palace. I wanted to see my boyfriend. I wandered around in search of the kitchen until I found an attendant who led me there. I introduced myself to a kitchen worker named Jiang, and asked for tea for Zuko and myself. He happily obliged. I walked over to the meeting room and quietly poked my head in, only to hear a heated discussion taking place between advisors and the Fire Lord.

“Your Highness, we do not know where the rest of the so-called Kemurikage imposters have gone. It is imperative that we continue your round-the-clock security,” an advisor pleaded.

“That isn’t what I’m worried about right now. I need the people to trust me again,” Zuko said, vexed. His brow was furrowed, and his face was angry.

“My Lord, you should be worried about coups from offshoots of the New Ozai Society. There’s rumors of a new regrouping,” another advisor piped up.

“Aren’t you worried about more assassination attempts, Your Grace? And what about this girlfriend of yours? Aren’t you worried about her safety? She’s a liability, Your Highness,” an advisor chided.

I felt all the color leave my face, and my hands became like bricks and I dropped the cups of tea. They smashed against the floor and all eyes in the room turned to look at me.

“Assassination attempts?” I stammered.

“Oh, Sayuri, no, ” Zuko pleaded, his face softening. He got up and started making his way to the door, but panic washed through me and I ran from the meeting room with hot tears streaming down my face.

I passed by a flurry of attendants who tried to stop me. I felt a hand clasp my shoulder and I pushed it off quickly, maneuvering out of this crowd of servants. My breathing became rapid and uneven as I continued to run, a sure sign of a “palpitation” episode coming. My vision blurred with tears and narrowed in terror. I finally found the door to the palace gardens. I immediately ran to the tree and hid by its roots. I curled into a ball and cried.

“I can’t lose anyone else,” I cried and shook until I felt a warm hand move across my back and shoulder. I looked up to see it belonged to a woman with golden eyes and a soft, gentle face. She took my face in her hands and rubbed my tears away with her thumbs. She reached into her robes and pulled out a glass bottle and placed it under my nose. The smell brought me back into a calmer state.

“Breathe,” she said calmly. “Focus on the smell.”

I relaxed and began to breathe normally. When I came to my senses, I noticed she had a child with her, a young girl no older than five with short brown hair and a round face.

“Who are you?” I asked, my voice hoarse from crying.

“My name is Ursa. I’m Zuko’s mother. This is my daughter Kiyi.” She motioned toward the young girl.

“Oh, Lady Ursa. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m sorry I’m a mess right now,” I said.

“It’s all right, my dear. You must be Sayuri. Zuko has told me so much about you,” she said with a smile. “It’s wonderful to meet you.”

“This is the pretty lady Zuzu likes?” the young girl piped.

I smiled. I rubbed my eyes to get rid of the remaining tears, and I heard a voice call out that they had found me. I opened my eyes to see an attendant - the one who had grabbed me inside - motioning for the others to come to the tree. I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my head down. I was so embarrassed, and I didn’t need the whole palace to see me looking like a complete mess.

“Oh, come now, Chen. We don’t need an audience. She’s fine. Tell Zuko she’s with me and he can join us in feeding the turtleducks if he wants,” Ursa said. I heard the attendant’s footsteps walking away from the tree.

“You can come out now,” Ursa said.

I popped my head up to see there weren’t any attendants around. Just a few guards milling about in the gardens. “Thank you,” I said.

“It’s difficult to be watched always, isn’t it?”

I nodded.

“Kiyi, my dear, do you have the bread?” Ursa asked.

“Right here!” she exclaimed eagerly.

I sat wordlessly next to Ursa and Kiyi as they fed the turtleducks. I watched the little creatures glide across the water, squawking for their mother. Between tossing pieces of bread into the water, Kiyi kept glancing in my direction, trying not to stare.

“Boy, Zuzu was right. You are very pretty, Sayuri,” she said boldly.

I smiled weakly. “Thank you, Kiyi. That’s very sweet.”

“She speaks her mind, this one,” Ursa said, pulling the young girl close to her.

“It’s definitely a family trait,” a familiar voice said. I turned to my right to see Zuko standing next to where we were seated by the lake.

“Ah, Zuko, my love,” Ursa said. “I’m glad you could join us.”

“Hello, mother,” he replied, bending down to give her a kiss on the cheek. Kiyi bounced up from her seated position and grabbed at her brother’s legs. He reached his arms down as far as he could to hug her.

“I was going to ask Sayuri if she would join me for a short walk,” he asked. I turned and stared at the pond. Ursa put her hand over mine.

“Go with him,” she encouraged. I nodded my head and Zuko helped me to my feet.

“We will be back in a bit,” he said.

“Take your time, darling,” Ursa responded with a smile.

I clasped my hands behind my back and stared at the ground as I began to walk away from the lake. Zuko gently grabbed my arm and I pulled away quickly.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he asked once we were out of earshot of his mom and sister.

“When were you going to tell me your life was in danger?” I asked angrily.

“That isn’t exactly a conversation to have over dinner, Sayuri,” he responded.

I rolled my eyes. “What about all that “liability” talk, Zuko? How do you think that makes me feel?”

His face fell. “He didn’t mean it like that.”

“Oh, how else would you interpret that one, Fire Lord?”

“I only meant that he was speaking his mind because he has my interests at heart and-“

“So, I am a liability then?” I spat.

“No. You’re not.”

I crossed my arms in anger and stared at the ground.

“What’s really bothering you?” he asked.

I couldn’t look at him. I felt tears welling up in my eyes again.

“Please, Sayuri,” he begged. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I can’t afford to lose anyone else to this senseless violence,” I said quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“I already lost my dad to that stupid war. I don’t want to lose my boyfriend because he’s trying to keep the world together by himself.” I dropped my arms and pulled my hands up to my face and began to cry. Zuko gently pulled my body into his and I sobbed into his robes. He wordlessly ran his hand up and down my back before guiding us to sit down on the ground. I buried my face in his chest and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I’m so sorry, Sayuri. I didn’t know your dad died in the war,” he said softly. I pulled my head up to look at him. He placed his hand on my cheek and wiped away my tears.

“Please don’t keep things from me,” I said. “I don’t want to feel like I’m only in half of your life.”

“I didn’t want to tell you about the attempts because I didn’t want to scare you. I didn’t want you to worry because I had everything under control.”

“I’m not stupid, Zuko. I know your job is stressful. Don’t push me aside when I can help you.”

“You can’t help me be the Fire Lord, Sayuri.”

“No, but I can listen to you and comfort you in stressful times. I can’t do that if you won’t tell me what’s happening. Let me into your life”

“All right. I’m sorry,” he said.

“I’m sorry for making a scene,” I said. “I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be.” He tilted my face up and gave me a kiss. I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Why is dating the Fire Lord so damn hard,” I said. He laughed.

“Not as hard as dating someone as stubborn as you,” he chided.

I pulled my head up to shoot Zuko a look. He smiled in response and grabbed me to pull me in for another kiss.

“You’re in hot water, buddy. Don’t try to be cute.” He leaned back on his hands and pulled himself up. He held out his hands to help me stand up. I huffed and crossed my arms in response.

“Pft,” he puffed. “You are so stubborn.” He reached down, grabbed me by the waist, and threw me over his shoulder like a child.

“Ugh!” I squawked. “Put me down, Zuko!” I tried to squirm my way out but his grip was unrelenting, I reluctantly hung upside down. He carried me back to where his mother and sister were sitting.

“What do we have here?” Ursa asked playfully.

“A stubborn girlfriend,” Zuko responded. He bent down low enough so I could put my feet on the ground.

I shook my hand in his face. “Don’t pick me up like that! I’m not a child!”

“Your height says otherwise,” he smirked and bent down to give me a peck on the forehead. I tried to hide a smile breaking across my face.

I sat down next to Ursa again in a huff. Zuko sat next to me and put his arm around my waist.

“I thought they liked each other. Why are they being mean to each other?” Kiyi asked.

“Oh, darling. That’s how people who are in love act. They push and pull at each other like that,” Ursa answered.

I leaned against Zuko and watched the turtleducks float across the water of the lake. I wanted nothing more than this moment, to simply be next to Zuko. Truthfully, I wanted him to chase after me when I ran from the meeting room. I wanted to fight with him. I wanted him to care and to show it. I wanted us to be a normal couple, although I know deep down we couldn’t ever be truly normal. There’s so much we won’t have as a pair - peace, anonymity, simplicity. But the more I thought about it, those ideas didn’t mean that much to me, because I only had what was right in front of me in the moment. Right now, I had Zuko sitting next to me with his mother and his little sister. I had the warmth that radiated from him all to myself. I knew I wouldn’t have much simplicity dating royalty, but I did have Zuko.

The next night the Tavern was slow, so I prepared the lists for Pop and Tatsuo to go to the marketplace the day after for supplies. I was taking more and more time away from the Tavern to train with Zuko. My grandfather was pleased that I was becoming more myself and was more than happy to come back to the Tavern to help. I let Tatsuo go home early since he had been working late for me. After we closed, I washed the dishes and locked the Tavern and started on my walk home.

“Help! Help!” a voice cried out.

I ran toward the voice and the cries led me to the seedier part of town: The Industrial District. I knew better than to go there alone at night, but the cries were getting louder and more desperate. Whoever they were, they sounded scared. I followed the sound until I heard the cries getting closer.

“Please!” another cry.

I turned a corner to where I thought the voice was coming from. There was no one there, I was standing alone in an empty alley. “Something’s not right here,” I thought. I turned to leave and was instantly surrounded by a gang of masked women with hoods hovering on clouds of smoke.

“No,” I blinked my eyes. “The Kemurikage aren’t real.” I thought back to the conversation I’d overheard in Zuko’s meeting. Those advisors were onto something.

“We are real. But not in the way you think,” one of the women growled in a low voice.

taglist: @imagine-yourself-happy @panini-the-bird-killer @imcravingyou @eury-dice3 @nats-the-geek @mixedfeeelings @abuskinswarrior @cciinnaa @bucky-blogs

#avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last Airbender fanfiction #atla #atla fanfic #zuko #prince zuko #Zuko x OC #fire lord zuko #fire lord Zuko x oc #zuko x reader #prince Zuko fanfic #fire lord Zuko fanfic #eyes on fire | after the war

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firenationember · 4 years

Text

Destruction, Everywhere (OC Fic)

10/?

Authors Note: I know the gif is from the beach episode BUT it’s still cute and about Zuko talking about his feelings, we support boys who cry. Everybody cries!

Previous Chapters

I sat on the front steps of the beach house lazily, everyone except Aang and Zuko sitting around me. They were working on Aang’s firebending, Sozin’s comet being only three days away, and Zuko insisted on perfecting Aang’s firebending the best they could. They weren’t at it very long before Katara began offering up watermelon juice. Zuko was upset that we were all just lying around when we should be training, and Sokka suggested that he relaxes by having a beach party with us. The others ran down to the shore, a tornado of laughter, and I stood there holding a cup of juice I had saved for Zuko. I walked over to the spot he was brooding in and offered him a small smile.

“Juice? It’s important to stay hydrated, you know.” I poked the sliced melon towards him which earned a small smile in response. He grabbed it out of my hands, stirring the contents inside with the straw without drinking it. I shifted on the balls of my feet slightly, Zuko’s frustration radiating off him in waves. “You should come down to the beach with us, take it easy for a bit. It might help you feel better about the comet.” He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something before sighing and shaking his head.

“I’ll meet you guy down there soon.” I gave him a small nod. Without giving it too much though, I quickly closed the distance between us and put my hands on his chest as I stood up on my toes to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. He gave me a halfhearted hug, using his free hand to quickly wrap around my waist before he turned to walk up the stairs. I made my way down to the beach where the others were building sandcastles and swimming, and I hoped that Zuko would join us soon.

Aang, Toph and I were laughing at Sokka’s sand sculpture of Suki before we were caught by surprise when a ball of fire flew down, destroying Sokka’s hard work. I looked over to see Zuko soaring through the air, anger apparent on his face, as he threw flames towards Aang. The two of them continued fighting, making their way back to the house, and the rest of us just stood there in confusion, Sokka trying to salvage his art. Once Katara noticed something was off, she came back in from the water and we ran to meet the explosions coming from our hideout. We heard a crash from the side of the building, and when I looked over to the sound, I saw Zuko flying through the air. What has gotten into them? Into him? We all ran over to the spot where he landed, Aang jumping down from the balcony Zuko just flew off of, as I crouched next to Zuko and offered him a hand up. Katara began questioning his motives as he accepted my offer and we stood up. He was angry to be the only one to be taking the closely upcoming comet seriously, and I sighed next to him. Before I had the chance to open my mouth and say anything in the others’ (and my own) defense, I noticed the expressions on their faces.

“About Sozin’s comet-- I was actually gonna wait to fight the Firelord until after it came.” Aang’s tone was almost sheepish as he spoke, while still holding his voice strong. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion and noticed that Zuko was the only one to share this expression. I pursed my lips and focused on the unfolding conversation in front of me. Aang explained how he wasn’t ready, his firebending (and earthbending, as Toph kindly reminded) still needed a lot of work before he mastered them, and he didn’t think he’d be able to defeat the Firelord. Sokka and Katara offered up more reasons and it hit me that they had talked about this. I suddenly felt a twinge of something, anger and confusion and sadness; I shook the feelings away, knowing that Aang, Katara and Sokka are closer than the rest of us and that was probably why they knew. I brought my attention back to the conversation.

“Things can’t get any worse.” I focused on Katara’s voice as she hung her head, realizing how pointless it was for me to feel upset.

“You’re wrong.” I snapped my head towards Zuko, his icy tone catching my attention. He told us about his father (or rather, Azula’s) plan for world domination. He was right, it was worse than we could’ve imagined. To say that this 100-year-war has been awful would be a devastating understatement; wiping out the entire Earth Kingdom is just… sickening. As he spoke, Zuko found a rock to sit on, the angry energy that was keeping him upright deflating. I crouched down next to him, gingerly grabbing his hands so he’d know he’s not alone. Even though he refused to look back at me while he spoke, he squeezed my hands with reassurance.

“You may have gotten lost Zuko, but you found your way back. You’ve found who you are.” My voice is soft as I lightly rested my chin on our intertwined hands looking up at him. He glanced down at me with a soft smile before sighing. I heard Katara drop to the ground behind me and the others shifting in the weight of what Zuko just told us. I got up and walked over to Katara, offering her some support as well. Zuko got up from the rock and we all stood there, unsure what to say next. Aang asked why Zuko failed to mention this plan before, which made me let out a small laugh. I noticed everyone turn to me and I looked away. “Sorry… it’s not like you told everyone you wouldn’t be fighting him though, Zuko isn’t the only one who’s been holding back information.” Katara shot me a glare which caused me to roll my eyes. “I’m not saying anyone’s in the wrong, I’m just saying we all need to learn what information is worth sharing.”

“Oh, that’s rich, coming from the queen of mystery herself.” Katara retorts back, causing Sokka to walk over to her and Suki over to me. Suki shook her head as if to say, “don’t let her get to you” and I shrugged it off, aware that we had bigger things to focus on then friendship drama. That could wait. Aang had walked a few feet away and was crouching down with his head in his hands. Katara had directed her energy towards him, reminding him that’s he’s not alone. What started as a heavy, heated conversation ended in hopefulness: together we could stop Firelord Ozai. Everyone walked into a group hug, Katara’s eyes finding mine as she smiled sheepishly.

“I didn’t mean that Draya, I’m-“

“It’s okay, Katara.” I smiled back, walking into the spot she had made for me between her and Toph in the group hug. Katara looked over at Zuko, who was still awkwardly standing a few feet away.

“Get over here, Zuko. Being part of the group also means being part of the group hugs.” I watched as he grimaced at the phrase “part of the group” before he reluctantly walked over to the empty spot between Toph and Suki. His hand easily finds my shoulder as his long arm wraps around Tophs’, giving it a gentle squeeze. I saw Appa flying over with Momo, knocking us all down with him as he landed; they just wanted to be included in the group hug too.

Zuko taught Aang something his uncle taught him, how to redirect lightening, while Sokka came up with a training plan for all of us. We spent the rest of the afternoon practicing against a melon headed dummy (Melonlord, as Sokka called it), and it was dark by the time we finally sat down for the night. We were talking, relaxing on some stairs in the courtyard, when Katara brought out a picture of baby Ozai because she thought it was Zuko. It led to a heated conversation between Zuko and Aang, about life and death, causing Aang to storm off. Zuko stopped Katara from going after him, reminding her that he needs space. None of us felt like continuing our night, disbanding to our rooms after a long day of emotions and training. I started to walk towards my room when I stopped, turning around to check on Zuko before going to sleep. He had picked up the scroll with his fathers’ picture on it that Katara had discarded on the steps, staring at it for a long time before it burst into sudden flame in his hand. I walked over as he watched the ash float to the ground and placed my hand on his shoulder. His body was tense, turning his neck to look over at me.

“I thought you went to bed.” His voice was harsh, hushed.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” I offered lightly, dropping my hand as Zuko turned around to face me. I saw his face contort from anger to exhaustion. Everything about his posture drooped and he walked over to the steps, dropping the end pieces of the scrolls on the floor before sitting with a defeated huff. I walked over to sit on the step below him, turning my body towards him so my knees brushed up against his leg. I found myself tracing his features with my eyes, his face stoic, being illuminated by the light above. His hair was outrageously messy, I wanted to reach my hand out and attempt to run my finger through its tangles. He had his head tilted up towards the sky, eyes closed, as if he were basking in the stillness; I wish I knew what was going on in that sweet, angry, beautiful mind of his. I was memorizing his face completely- the soft curve of his nose, his perfectly angled jaw, the blending lines of his scar- when he opened his eyes and looked towards me.

“I appreciate you checking on me, I’m okay. Just… nervous. And stressed. And I feel really bad about yelling at Aang. It’s just… there’s no other way and he just doesn’t get it. He has to kill him… he has to.” He was balling up his fists, and I noticed his eyes were glistening more than usual. The expression he had on his face was different from his usual gloomy one, it was more… pained? I moved up the step to be next to him, reaching my hand out to gingerly caress the back of his head, running my fingers into his hair at the base of his neck, and he softened at the touch. In one swift moment, he turned his body into mine, letting his arms wrap around my torso as he buried his face into my collarbone. My hand stayed on the back of his head, bringing my other arm around him, and we just sat there. I don’t know how long we sat there holding each other, but it was over all too soon. He sat up, looking away as he rubbed at his eyes. “Sorry, I- uh…”

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for. It’s okay. It was about time I repaid you for holding me that time I tried to run away.” My hand was still cradling his head, absentmindedly playing with his hair in slow motions. He chuckled slightly, still sniffling. “It’s okay that you feel all those things, this is all a lot. For you, and for Aang. He’s expected to take the Firelord’s life and… the fact is, the Firelord just happens to be your father. He’s the definition of horrible. It still can’t be easy to know that, after all this, he’ll be gone. Feel your emotions now, that way your head is clear for the comet.” He turned his head to face me, my hand drifting from his neck to his cheek. His eyes were still glistening, the small twitch of a smile causing a few tears to slip out. I rubbed them away with my thumb, savoring every bit of this moment.

“He’ll never be gone, not really. Besides, it’s not even the fact that he’ll be dead after this, it’s the fact that I don’t feel anything when I think about it. I don’t feel sad, or mad, I don’t even feel happy! I feel nothing towards the thought that I’m helping someone prepare to kill my father. Does… does that mean I’m a monster too? Am I just like Azula after all? Someone who… doesn’t care if someone lives or dies?” He dropped my gaze as he spoke, and as he looked away, I instinctively pulled him back in for a hug. The silent tears were streaming down his face quickly and I just wanted to help him the same way he helps me. He let himself slump into me as I wrapped my free arm around him, accepting the embrace.

“You’re not a monster, Zuko. You are nothing like your father, or your sister. You’re you, someone who is kind and caring. You don’t feel anything because, well, he’s probably been dead to you for years now, even if you never realized. He hurt you, Zuko, and you’ve held onto that ever since. It’s okay to feel nothing and it’s okay to feel everything. I’m here for you.” His arms tightened around me and I felt a sob wrack through his body as he buried his head into my collarbone again. I still had one hand cradling his head and the other wrapped around his shoulders as I held him tightly until his shoulders stopped shaking. He pulled away and I brought both of my hands to his face, his cheeks hot and wet from the tears. “I’m not going anywhere.” I placed a soft kiss on his forehead, nose, and each cheek in between each word; my last kiss being on a spot where his scarred skin met the untouched skin. My lips lingered on his wet cheek as I felt his head turn until his lips met mine. This kiss was different than the ones from last night. It felt more sincere somehow as he wrapped his arms around me until we broke apart. He leaned his forehead on mine and let out a breathy laugh.

“Thank you, for everything. I’ve never felt this comfortable with someone. I hope you never go.” It was his turn to pepper my face with soft kisses, making me melt into his embrace.

“As much as I’d love to sit here with you for hours, we should probably get to sleep. We have a few… long days coming up.” We both shared similar smiles, soft and sad, knowing we may not get another moment like this for a while, if ever. He walked me to my room and, before I stepped inside, he had pulled me into a strong embrace, our heartbeats crashing into each other. He kissed the top of my head as we said good night. I knew life as we knew it would be changing in three days, and the only thing I could hope for was that Zuko’s by my side, no matter what happens. It was nice to have a normal teenage thought for once, about a boy, instead of the impending doom waiting to rain down on us with the comet.

#avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #avatar: tla #a:tla #atla #avatar: the last airbender fanfic #avatar the last airbender fanfic #original character fic #oc fanfic #oc x zuko #katara #aang

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kdinthecity · 7 years

Text

Confessions of a Teenage Sugar Queen: Soulmates

Zuko retrieves his laptop bag from his room and heads for the kitchen table. I linger in the hallway, trying to focus long enough to make sense of his mom’s article, but the words are blurring together.

Damn you, tears.

I take a minute to collect myself before joining Zuko in the kitchen. He fishes something out of his pocket and places it on the table while he types in his login password. It’s a tube of chapstick, and I would be lying if I said I haven’t noticed that slight bulge in his pants before. He must carry it with him all the time.

I’m so wrecked. If I don’t kiss Zuko soon, I might die of thirst. I don’t like the taste of his particular brand of chapstick, though.

I figure this moment is yet another lost opportunity when he snaps the cap off, but it isn’t chapstick at all.

It’s a USB drive. Oh, yeah. He was going to show me something. Right.

When it loads, I can’t help but say the name out loud, “Ursa.”

“These are my mother’s files I found on my father’s—“ Zuko presses his lips together like he always does when he’s said too much. His hand is shaking when he double clicks on the disk icon.

I read through the folders, silently this time. “Anthology… Articles… ENG101... ENG110… Grades… Lectures… Notes… Painted Lady…”

“What’s in the Painted Lady folder?” I ask, ignoring the lump that has formed in my throat.

“I can’t open it. I’ve read through everything else on this disk, but that folder is password protected.”

There is only one other folder, “Pictures,” and it piques my curiosity. “What’s in there?” I point at the screen.

A deep sadness passes over his face, making the scar seem more pronounced than ever. He obliges and opens the folder to reveal one single image entitled “Beach.” It’s an artfully composed silhouette of a woman and a child walking along the beach at sunset. I can only assume it is Ursa and Zuko, but the figures are too shadowy to tell.

“That’s it?” Surely he has more photos of his mother somewhere.

“There were at least a hundred photos in that file. But that’s when the data transfer was interrupted. That’s when… I got caught.”

This is the story of the scar. I just know it. But I have no idea what to say next.

I don’t get a chance before he redirects. “Katara, I’ve tried every password I can think of to open this file—my name, Azula’s name, our birthdays, Mom’s nicknames for us, and all of that in every combination. I was wondering… what if the file came from your mom? What if… do you know of a password she might use?”

It is too much. I am suddenly my nine-year-old self sorting through a box of Mom’s stuff that Dad has refused to touch since she died. All I ever wanted was something like this—a collection of her writing, notes, and pictures. Instead, all that came back from the coroner was assorted jewelry, cosmetics, and other typical items from a woman’s handbag.

“Katara? Are you OK?” Zuko breaks through my reverie.

No, I’m not. I can’t do this right now. “It’s getting late. I should go.”

His shoulders drop in disappointment, but when our eyes meet, we come to a silent understanding. It’s the tide pool scene all over again but with our roles reversed. The impact of the triggered memory hits me hard, and it is easier to choose distance and distraction over the pain of pushing through it. I no longer blame Zuko for his reaction that day.

I also acknowledge that he did try to talk about it. And neither of us has to bear our burden alone. We have each other.

I tell myself that only this moment is lost, not everything—not yet. And then I leave.

I refuse dinner and hull up in my room. I can’t exactly describe what I’m feeling—confused, yes, and maybe a little angry. Or perhaps I’m just jealous that Zuko somehow ended up with access to my mother’s work when all I’ve ever gotten is my father’s gruff response, “Katara, just let it go.”

I’ve read all of her articles in back issues of The Modern Times, of course. Gran Gran secretly gifted me with an online subscription last year. Dad makes comments like, “It’s old news anyway, so we need to focus on moving forward.” Sokka says that Mom’s writing will probably always represent suffering and loss for our family.

Sometimes when I feel… like I don’t know what to feel, that is when I write. But that hardly seems like a therapeutic option right now given the circumstances, so I decide to watch Netflix instead. I really should catch up on Crossroads of Destiny because the new season starts later this month. I don’t want to miss out on Uncle Iroh’s premiere party.

When did I start referring to him as Uncle?

This episode is about Phaethon, son of Helios, the sun god. As his tragic story unfolds, I wonder if this is the plotline Zuko had confused with Icarus. The boy certainly tries to prove himself to his father and to the world, but only brings fire and destruction, eventually falling from his chariot in the sky to his untimely death. I can’t handle the images of scorched landscapes and dried-up riverbeds in my fragile state, but before I turn off the show, the earth goddess says something that strikes me.

“Help us, great Zeus! Is this the end of earth? Even the heavens are burning. The past turns to ashes, and the future is fire!”

The future is fire—the slogan for Ozai’s company. I don’t even know what Future Fire Technology does, despite Azula’s constant bragging. She asserts it’s the “way of the future,” whatever it is. So, I look it up on my phone. They make virtual reality components such as headsets, gloves, and even a full exoskeleton for an “immersive experience.” The website is vague on what their products are actually used for, though.

I regret leaving Zuko. I should have tried to help him with the password instead of freaking out. Our mothers are obviously connected somehow, and he put himself at risk just to get those files. Mom took all kinds of risks to get information in her line of work. I never wanted to be a journalist, but I do want to be like her.

Before I even realize what I’m doing, I’m pulling the box of her things out of my closet. I used to look through it nearly every day, but I haven’t now for a few years. I wipe the dust from the lid and carefully lift it to reveal an odd collection of treasures. I hold up a pair of pearl earrings, and a shaky sound escapes my lips, almost like laughter, but not. I remember begging Dad to let me pierce my ears so I could wear them. He said I had to wait until I turn 16. Here I am, almost 16, and I don’t really care about that anymore.

Next, I run the pad of my thumb over a necklace I had also hoped to wear someday. The pendant has a wave carved out of whalebone, attached to a blue velvet ribbon. Dad gave it to Mom when they got married, and I’ve always figured it would be too painful for him to see it again. Maybe I could ask him.

Maybe I could ask him if he knows Mom’s password, too. I will have to explain that I’ve found a file of hers, and he might not like that. I understand if he doesn’t want to dwell on the past, but surely he doesn’t want to forget everything?

Finally, I pull out a tube of bright red lipstick, and this is when I lose it. It was her “power paint,” she called it. When I pretended to be a warrior princess as a young girl, she would paint the Aleut symbols on my face and tell me stories of our people.

“Katara, are you OK, dear?” Gran Gran calls from the doorway.

I sniff and wipe my face with Zuko’s sweatshirt. Yes, I still have it. “I-I-I’m fine, Gran Gran.”

“Can I make you some chamomile tea? Or run you a relaxing lavender jasmine bubble bath? You’ve been working so hard lately.”

“No thanks. I’ll just… go to bed early, I think.”

“OK, dear. Just let me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Gran Gran.”

“Oh… and Katara? Your mother would be very proud you.”

I wait until she leaves before fully releasing the tears I’ve been holding back. I suppose a good cry is long overdue. I throw myself on the bed with Zuko’s sweatshirt balled up like a pillow. I don’t realize that I’m still clutching the lipstick. The cap pops off which means I’m probably making a huge mess on my sheets, but I don’t care. Besides, I’m a laundry expert. Mom even used to call me Moonpeach.

I wake up the next morning drowsy and disoriented. Strands of my hair are stuck to my face and my throat is raw—this is why I hate crying. I stand up and brush the wrinkles out of yesterday’s clothes. Mom’s lipstick falls to the floor with a clank, and I say out load to no one in particular, “OK, I’m awake, I’m awake!”

I groan when I look at my phone. Zuko will be here in thirty minutes to pick me up. I scoop up his sweatshirt and laugh. At this rate, he’s never getting it back. I give it a squeeze, a pathetic part of my morning ritual these days. As I scan the room for my shoes, a glint of silver catches my eye.

No. Fucking. Way.

Mom’s lipstick is a USB drive, too. All this time I never knew.

I am cursing our old school computer for how long it takes to boot up. My stomach churns so violently with nerves that I consider calling in sick today. I even taste bile in the back of my throat when the icon “Kya” shows up on the screen.

I don’t know where to start. The “Pictures” folder? There is one called “Fiction,” too. Did my mom write stories like I do? There is also “Case Files,” and that one scares me a little. My hand hovers over the mouse, paralyzed by indecision.

Then, I see it. “Blue Spirit.”

And after years of wishing I had all the rest of these files and only weeks of knowing Zuko, that is the folder I decide to click on first.

Of course. Its contents are encrypted and require a password.

“Zuko is here, dear!” Gran Gran calls from the entryway.

Shit. I can’t process any of this, so I quickly eject the disk and secure it in the zippered part of my bag. I haven’t even changed clothes, but at least I’m in uniform, so it’ll have to do. Both Gran Gran and Zuko eye my disheveled appearance with some concern, but I simply brush past them and head toward Zuko’s car.

I don’t talk to Zuko right away, and he respectfully heeds the silence. He probably thinks I still need my space after yesterday which is partially true. I’m actually dying to tell him what I found, but I’m also reeling from it. His mom has one of my mom’s files, and my mom has one of his mom’s files. What does this mean?

After I fix my hair into my usual braid for the day, I text Dad to ask him if he knows Mom’s password. He confirms what I already suspect—that it should be derived from my name, nickname, or birthday just like Zuko suggested.

I cast a sideways glance at Zuko who unsurprisingly has a death grip on the steering wheel and laser focus on the road. He always does that when there is something left unspoken between us. Is he this easy to read to everyone… or just me?

“Hey Zuko?”

Predictably, he lets out a huge sigh of relief since I finally broke the tension. “Yeah?”

“Can you come over after work today?” I ask.

“Sure.” He stares straight ahead, but a smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

I look down at his lap to confirm he still has the chapstick in his pocket. No, I am not ashamed of this in the least. “Great. And can you bring your laptop?”

He tilts his head in my direction and nods, but I don’t acknowledge this because I am still groping him with my eyes. OK, I may have a problem.

My problem is that I’m a fucking waterworks these days. I cannot stop crying! The bus driver keeps looking at me like I’m a dam about to bust.

Depending on the outcome of Zuko’s little meeting, I’m gonna bust someone’s ass for sure.

I can’t believe he’d agree to go meet with his sister! Ever since I connected the mysterious Ursa files with Zuko’s scar, I don’t trust the Kasai family at all. Except for Iroh, of course. Wow, how did the apple fall so far from the tree? In my Google search last night, I read an article about corruption within the company when it was an arms dealer under Zuko’s grandfather, Azulon.

Zuko says he will call me later. I text back that he should just come over. To pass the time, I read through a few of my mom’s short stories. Hers are not fantasy like mine, though. More like melodrama… and more than I can take right now. I pace between the kitchen and living room. Gran Gran gives me worried looks. I imagine Azula stabbing Zuko with skewers, and Ozai using him as a punching bag. I cry some more. I double check the freezer to make sure we have icepacks. Of course we do. Sokka lives here after all.

Dammit. I even miss Sokka, the big oaf. When we were younger, I had a stuffed penguin, and he had a stuffed otter. If I were crying at night because I missed Mom, he would put on a show to cheer me up—The Adventures of Otter Penguin!

I’m in the middle of composing a text to Sokka, complete with otter and penguin emojis, when Zuko calls.

“Hey, sorry it’s so late.” He sounds very tired.

“Are you OK?” I sound very motherly.

“Um, yeah. Mostly.”

Hmm, not the answer I wanted to hear. “What did Azula want?” I growl.

“She offered me a job at Future Fire. She said things were… how did she put it? Heating up. She could use the help… or something like that.”

Oh no. “Did you—“

“No, Katara.”

“OK, good.”

“It’s not good. I told her I’m happy at the Marine Center, but Azula doesn’t want me to be happy. I told her I’m already doing what Dad wants, but if she thinks I have his favor for any reason, she’ll fix that. She’ll report some bullshit story back to him. He’ll come by the Marine Center to check up on me. I’m so fucked.”

I can’t stand how defeated he sounds, so I deftly change the subject. “Hey, about that password…”

“Yeah? Did you think of something?” His tone changes completely—thankfully.

“Well, you could try Katara082800 or maybe KataraAugust2000 or something with my name and birthday which is August 28, 2000.”

“OK. Just a minute.”

Soon I hear his furious typing in the background. “No luck.”

“You could try Sokka’s, too. His birthday is September 6, 1998.”

I wait for what seems like forever. His frustration mounts with the continuous beating of the delete key.

“What about a nickname, Katara?”

I was afraid he’d ask this. “Don’t laugh, OK?”

“I won’t.”

“It’s… Moonpeach.”

A pause.

“Shit. Holy shit. Katara! That’s it!”

The silence that follows is deafening.

“Zuko?”

“Sorry.”

“Is it… stuff from my mom? In the file.” Because, dude, I’m dying over here.

“It’s uhhh—“

I have an epiphany. “Zuko, what’s your nickname?”

“What?”

“What. Is. Your. Nickname?”

“Oh, umm. Turtleduck.”

“Turtleduck?” I laugh but only because it sounds like a creature that would fit perfectly in my fictional world.

“Hey, I didn’t laugh at yours!” he whines. “It’s because I loved that Christmas song when I was a kid but called it a turtleduck instead of a turtledove, OK?”

I’m half-listening because I just typed “turtleduck” for the password, and the “Blue Spirit” file on my mom’s disk is now accessible.

Seriously, what does this mean?

“Zuko, if I can access my mom’s files with your mom’s password, and you can access your mom’s files with my mom’s password, do you think… were we supposed to find this together?”

Were we supposed to find each other?

Zuko doesn’t answer.

We should be doing this together.

“Zuko, can you come over?”

“I… I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”

“What? I think… it was meant to be! How else would you explain it?”

“It could just be a coincidence. Maybe they used each others’ passwords to ensure no one would find out ever. Maybe we’re not supposed to know any of this.”

I don’t know what this is because I haven’t read anything, yet. I realize I want him here with me because I’m scared.

“Zuko, please…”

“Even if our moms wanted us to know, my father absolutely doesn’t. It’s too… dangerous. I shouldn’t… you should stay away from me.”

Another epiphany.

“Zuko, did your dad hit you because of me?”

“No! It was… I broke curfew.”

“You’re lying.”

Zuko lets out a noise of frustration, something I’ve never heard him do before. “ARRRRRRGGGGHHH. He just said it was a reminder. To not dishonor the family. He’s a fucking psychopath, Katara. Just let it go.”

I hate that everyone keeps saying that!

“No! I think… Ozai knew that our mothers were working on something together. Something big. A scandal perhaps… maybe it involved your father. So when he found out you were seeing me, he forbade it. And then beat you as a reminder.”

“Katara, have you read any of your mom’s files, yet?”

“No.”

“OK, so read them. And we’ll talk in the morning.”

Chpt. 1 | Chpt. 2 | Chpt. 3 | Chpt. 4 | Chpt. 5

#zutara week #zutara week 2017 #zkweek #zkweek2017

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