#i hope she asks the protag how does sex works too

[magioftheseas]

Boom Through Jabberwock!! Bang Bang!

Summary: An alternate/bonus scene spanning from Matsuda giving Ibuki a certain CD in Chapter 24 of Super Danganronpa 2: Matsuda Yasuke’s Battle of Despair and Wits.

Rating: PG

Warnings: None really.

Notes: It’s the yukata bonus scene but for SDR2 Protag Matsuda Yasuke. There’s a bunch more song references and extra banner. The yukata scene’s probably my favorite of the bonus events in sdr2, so it ended up being the longest. Hopefully that’s okay. It’s also much gayer. Because pride.

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

Commission? Donate?

“If dealing with her is your way of dealing with guilt over Koizumi, then—I don’t think you could continue bothering.”

Mioda blinked again. Her mouth hung open, jaw slack before it began to tremble.

“Y-Yasuke-chan, that’s—way harsh! You’re making it sound like I don’t care about Hiyoko-chan at all!”

“It’s suffocating to have someone dote on you because they feel sorry for you,” he said. “It’s even worse when that person is floundering because then you feel bad for them.”

“Wah!”

“The fact that you approached me screams that you’re pulling your hair out over what to do about her.” Matsuda sighed, rubbing his nape. “That’s not remotely helpful. Gather your bearings first. Maybe...”

It’s not that I’m obligated to help, but it would be to my benefit that she and Saionji get along.

“When you kick the gachapon enough times, you can get prizes,” he finds himself saying, digging around in his coat to pull something out. “I happened to get this.”

This being the debut single of the band, The Black Cherries. Summer Festivitrees.

He tossed it to Mioda, but it just smacked against her chest as she gaped and he hurriedly had to catch it before it fell to the ground and broke before even having a chance to play.

“Um,” Mioda uttered as Matsuda handed it to her a second time. She didn’t take the CD. “W... Wow, Yasuke-chan.”

“No good, huh,” he guessed, waving it in front of her. Somehow, that did not make the CD more enticing. “Guess this kind of thing isn’t your jam.”

“I was just thinking that you’re fearless,” she said. “I mean—coulda guessed that from you and Nagito-chan being a thing... But seriously, that you’d have the brass to show me this...”

Matsuda’s frown deepened. His brow furrowed for good measure. However, when he pondered about what the fuck this girl’s problem could be, he could scrounge up a few ideas.

“Rival band?” he guessed, looking at the back of the CD. All it listed, of course, was the songs and artists and some copyright. “Or was there some stupid band drama?”

“Rivals!” Mioda confirmed with a chirp. “Did you not hear about all the hype of boys versus girls?! The battle of the boy bands and the girl bands?! The epic showdown of chicks and di—!”

“...isn’t battle of the sexes so last decade?” Matsuda asked, raising an eyebrow. “Hell, wasn’t it more thing two decades ago? Talk about outdated.”

“It super is,” Mioda agreed. “But that was just the press for ya. Out of time, out of tune, out of touch! My old band’s ticket sales and concert attendance numbers still got compared with the Cherries’ all the time.” She perked right up. “But out with the old, in with the new! It doesn’t matter to me because it’s old news about my old band!!”

“I see...”

“Music shouldn’t be about sales anyway!” she exclaimed. “Down with capitalism! Eat the rich!” A pause. She groaned, pained. “Oogh, Byakuya-chan would have been so yummy and chewy... I miss him so much...”

What the hell am I supposed to say to that?

“The meeting’s about to start,” he reminded her. “And...about Saionji...”

“This lightbulb has now been lit!” Mioda went right back to shouting, undeterred even as Matsuda grimaced. She just looked at him with bright, sparkling eyes. “Yasuke-chan, can I have you for the night?”

“...” His grimace darkened. “...”

“If you’re that busy with Nagito-chan, I gueeeeeeess he can come too,” she says, huffing before outright whining. “But you gotta give me an answer! Even if it’s not the story that I planned, I gotta hear your answer! I wanna know the answer!”

Matsuda squeezed his eyes shut, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

I really don’t want to, but...

“I guess I might as well go,” he grumbled.

“You should!” Mioda agreed happily. “GOOD answer! There wouldn’t have been much point in this bonus scene if you said no, Yasuke-chan!”

Matsuda stared.

“Ooh, so sharp! So cool! Cutting like the highest note!” she gushed. “Alright! The meeting time is two hours before the evening announcement! At the supermarket! No carts needed!”

Matsuda turned on his heel to hurry on ahead.

“Alright, then, guess that’s that.”

When she shouted some more, he didn’t look back. Only quickened his step.

--

After all the plot-relevant stuff of which the reader shouldn’t be concerned with right now, Matsuda did end up remembering the plans he made.

“Oh, right. It’s probably getting about whatever time that rocker girl wanted to meet up.”

“Oh, Matsuda-kun!” Komaeda exclaimed. “If you had already made arrangements with our Mioda-san, shouldn’t you have respected that first and foremost?”

“I had more important things going on,” Matsuda muttered. “Stuff more...relevant.”

“Geez, you’re such an asshole,” Hinata griped because he was here too for reasons. “Just hurry on. You shouldn’t keep Mioda waiting.”

“Eh.” He really shouldn’t. That said—“She said Komaeda can come, so I guess you should come, too.”

“H-Huh?! Why?!”

“Just...a feeling I have. Come on, you two.” Matsuda gestured for them to follow. “We’re heading to the supermarket.”

“Uwah, how exciting! Mioda-san’s kindness knows no bounds!” Komaeda gushed to which Hinata could only grumble.

“I feel like I’m just going to get pulled into extra work...”

Good news.

--

“O-nya-su-mi! O-nya-su-mi!” Mioda waved them over frantically from behind one of the aisles. “Ready for something to happen?!”

She gasped, gripping one of the cereal boxes with glee when she saw that Matsuda hadn’t arrived either alone or with just the resident crazy on the islands.

“Ooh, you brought Hajime-chan, too! I guess you do know the saying! Three’s a crowd, four’s a party!”

“Hey, Mioda,” Hinata greeted half-heartedly as she put the cereal back. Hinata strode up to her only to pause. What laid scattered before him was undeniable and he could only sigh at his fate. “Okay... What’s all this?”

When Matsuda got close enough for a look, he could see the piles upon piles of cardboard boxes. Komaeda, too, blinked at the sheer volume.

“Kaboom! Through summer!” Mioda exclaimed with a thunderous clap. “You can’t have a summer without fireworks!”

“I’ve had many of those,” Matsuda informed her without missing a beat.

“Loud noises make me a bit nervous,” Komaeda admitted before exclaiming, “How exciting!”

“Oh, right,” Hinata remembered. “Komaeda, on your student profile, it lists your dislikes as...”

“D-Don’t worry about it, Hinata-kun! It’s for the sake of hope!” Komaeda did in fact seem more nervous than excited. “Hope can come in loud, colorful bursts!”

“Eh...?”

“Filthy fireworks disappear into the sky!” Mioda sing-songs. “From Summer Festivitrees! Haven’t you heard it?”

“I don’t really listen to music that doesn’t play in anime,” Matsuda replied.

“Bang! Bang! There go my dreams!” Mioda gasped, but she recovered quickly. “Anyway!” With a salesperson grin, she gave a wide sweeping gesture towards the boxes. She even wiggled her hand while she was at it. “Boys, get those boxes! Let’s go! Set up!”

“Hah,” Matsuda huffed. “You could have gotten literally anyone to do grunt work.”

“Between the four of us, it won’t be too bad,” Hinata points out. “I mean...”

“Yeah, it’s a party!” Mioda agreed. “A super spicy party! Well—it’s a real party since I’ve already invited a few others! Chiaki-chan, Akane-chan, Mikan-chan, Sonia-chan—and did you know?! Hiyoko-chan’s gonna take pictures!”

...that’s good.

“Oh, and Nekomaru-chan juuuuust for Yasuke-chan!” she added, giving him a wink. “Everyone else already brought these fireworks in, so we’ll leave the rest to you! It’s Ibuki yukata time!”

“I suppose everyone else will be wearing yukatas as well?” Komaeda asked, to which she gleefully nodded.

“Yep! Sonia-chan’s gonna wear what she calls a Japanese yukata! So will Nekomaru-chan! Just for Yasuke-chan!”

“Great,” Matsuda griped, unenthusiastic. “What about us?”

“You want to wear yukatas too?!” Mioda yelped. “Unexpected! Aren’t the protagonists supposed to be the normies?! Or—wait! You want to see Nagito-chan in a yukata too, don’t you?! Sly dog! I should’ve known with my Ibuki sense!”

“W-What’s that mean?!” Hinata stammered. “I-I mean... Komaeda...!”

Komaeda blinked twice. His head tilted.

“I guess you’ll change into a yukata, too,” Matsuda told him. “I’ll look for some earplugs. Hinata will handle the boxes.”

“Wait why did I suddenly get saddled with all the work?! If Nidai’s here, he should help, too!”

“Nekomaru-chan helped during the day, Hajime-chan!” Mioda tutted. “Now, it’s your turn! Yasuke-chan has already asserted his dominance as top antenna!”

“What does that even mean?!” Hinata cried.

“Good luck, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda exclaimed. “Work your hardest so that your hope can shine your brightest! Oh, but, Matsuda-kun, please don’t feel obligated to...”

Aaaand Matsuda was already making his way down the aisle. No longer listening. A man single-focused on his mission. Mioda saluted him before marching on her merry way. Komaeda, too, left to go obediently change. Hinata, left alone, could only sigh.

Resigned to his fate, he began to move the boxes with only a mild grumble.

(Thankfully, once he found some earplugs, Matsuda did go back to help. He wasn’t that heartless.)

--

Thus, the night ended with a climactic series of colorful explosions in the starlit sky. Nidai whooped, Mioda cheered, and Sonia chattered excitedly.

Another burst. Nidai whooped again. Tsumiki was stammering in delight. Owari was happy, too.

The only one who wasn’t was...

“Pffft, so fucking lame,” Saionji muttered, but she snapped away with her camera. “It’s just because Mahiru-nee would’ve taken these pics...”

“The Ultimates are more radiant than any blossoming firework!” Komaeda exclaimed, voice uncomfortably loud as he likely couldn’t hear himself with the earplugs. “How wonderful! Sublime! Vibrant!”

Matsuda gave him a thumbs-up before gritting his teeth and adjusting the other’s yukata lest it be too revealing for this rather chilly evening.

Nidai whooped again, much to Nanami’s apparent confusion.

“Nidai-kun...keeps doing that...”

“It’s because when fireworks go up, you...whoop,” Hinata explained. He was looking away quite pointedly from a giggling Komaeda, his ears almost as red as a firework that just dyed the sky. Another whoop from Nidai as Nanami let out a curious hum.

“Girl power!” Sonia exclaimed.

“G-Go...burst...” Tsumiki stammered.

“Oh god, you two are so laaaaame,” Saionji groaned, to Tsumiki’s despair.

“E-Eep! I’m so sorry!”

“Oh! That’s a better face!” Saionji snapped with more enthusiasm. “Bwahaha! Pathetic weeping suits you waaaay more!”

“...Hiyoko-chan’s having a great time!” Mioda shouted. “Wahoo! Ibuki’s decisive victory!”

“W-What the hell are you talking about?!” the dancer shrieked.

“Lit ‘em up, Hajime-chan!” Mioda yelled, whooping with Nidai. “Do it, just DO IT!!”

“Got it, got it,” Hinata sighed, doing as he was told.

“After that one, we’ll trade off!” Nidai laughed. “You gotta enjoy these fireworks TOO, ya know!!”

Hinata did smile back, even warmer under another burst of color above.

“So lovely,” Komaeda cooed, and Matsuda didn’t care to ask if he specifically meant the fireworks.

Regarding everyone’s bright faces, made brighter by the fireworks, nothing else...really mattered.

The scent of summer enveloping the night. Goldfish fireworks trickling down, falling in drops,

Matsuda thought, remembering a song.

With eyes dazzled by the light, your gentle face was reflected for an instant.

When everyone parted, it was with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. One could even think it contentment if not for the erratic stumbling of a few stray thoughts.

#yasuke matsuda #matsuda yasuke #ibuki mioda #mioda ibuki #sdr2 #nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #Magi fics #some pairing references involving matsun and some boys #gay #Protag Matsun

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

[felsdumpsterfire]

Would it be okay to ask how a relationship would go With your protag 5 x yasuyori or Prota 2 x leib? If that is okay please?

Of course it ok! Thank you for dropping an ask!

I'll be doing Leib for this one just because I don't know too much about Yasuyori other then his part of the Pupper fam, his lil' tattoo is on his butt (which is strangely muscular???) part of the War Mongers- Leib, I got a better understanding of since he's popped up a couple of times in the story/events. But! If you really want those Yasu headcanons, please feel free to shoot another ask!

(Also, on a personal note, my dude, my guy, my pal, I absolutely love your past! Protag stuff??? It's so fun to read, you got some 👀👀👀 top notch writing)

Now onto the Headcanons!

Protag 2 x Leib

Leib and Protag 2 are polar opposites, just throwing that out there, but they're good polar opposties

Leib calms Protag 2 down easy peasy while Protag 2 gets him to actually,,,, emote emotions a lot more then he would if she wasn't there (Tbh it freaked the every loving shit out of everyone, like, omg that's the loudest I've every heard Leib laugh WHAT THE FUCK-)

Another thing, that Leib is really good at is spotting when she's hurt

It's pretty obvious when Protag 2 gets into a fight, she goes in full force in everything she does, so she usually comes out with some bruises and maybe a busted lip if they land a good hit on her

No, what Leib sees is when she's really hurting, she's pretty good about brushing the pain off, but every once in a while, she'll wince or just give twitch that gives her away and Leib sighs as he gets up so he can fix her up. She can be a little stuborn about it- but he can usually convince her to sit still long enough for him to patch her up with the promise of cuddles afterward

Speaking of cuddles- hoooooooooly shit, dude, he has some of the best cuddles; he's so warm and, sure, his fur can be a little coarse, especially if he's been working for a couple of days, but it's usually super soft and fluffy and Protag 2 can just, ah- she can just sink into his side and stay there forever. She loves his cuddles soooooo much

And sometimes when she stays over with them and he's working, he really will let her glue herself to his side, just get comfy and work and papers with one hand and absent-mindedly play with her hair with the other (highkey headcanon him as ambidextrous). He usually doesn't get much work done like this, but it's worth it since he gets to gaze down at her and bask in her warmth

Protag 2 is really good at getting him to take a break. Like, super good.

She just has to hit him with some good ol' puppy eyes and this dude is done

Protag 2 and Leib will feed each other and Cu Sith thinks it's the cutest think

He is their biggest shipper

Leib is honestly really worried about her because he knows something, but it's just a hunch so far, but he's really hopeing it stays a hunch-

Protag 2 loves giving Leib smooches, especially on his nose. She'll just straddle him and start smooching everywhere she can reach, this sometimes leads to some sexy times because Leib is a touchy partner and a big love language of his is physical touch so 👀👀

Protag 2 likes to drag Leib on little dates out on the town, she knows he's a bit of a recluse, especially considering his job- but going to a small café shouldn't be so bad right?she purposely looks for places with little to no crowds because she knows how much he hates them

He actually really enjoys these dates and going out as long as Protag 2 is there and they get to hold hands

UM, UM, SO I CAN'T PASS THIS UP??? I'M DOING SOME SPICEY STUFF, SO WATCH YOURSELF, (also, trigger warning??? I guess??? I'm gonna mark it as a trigger anyway- TW: mentions of menstrual Cycle)

I genuinely headcano Leib as being a kinky motherfucker

Change my mind

See you can't

Anyway, Leib has a lot of kinks

He really likes: bondage, sensory deprivation, feather play, biting, wax play, dom and sub play, choking, super onto period sex, it makes him go feral, light spanking, ice play, cock warming, and thigh riding

This man is a jack of all trades, ok? His fingers? phenomenal. His mouth? Mind blowing. That dick? EXTRA T H I C K.

He'll leave Protag 2 walking funny for a few days at least

The first time they got sexual was actually when Protag 2 was on her period and Leib was like "it helps relive cramps"

"That's sweet, but are you sure-?"

"IT HELPS RELIEVES CRAMPS."

She was embarrassed at first, like super embarrassed, but then Leib just,,,, made her mind go blank and that was that, now they have it every time she starts getting some intense cramps

Leib and Protag 2's favorite position is defiantly the Cowgirl, she gets to look at his face and Leib gets to look at, well, everything, and she can set the pace and it's the easiest way to fuck on a rolly chair

Speaking of rolly chairs- they have a lot of sex in his office

Remember when I said that Leib's touching can lead to some shit? Well, there it is

He usually has her on her back against the desk as he eats her out or she's on her knees sucking him off, oooor, she's on his lap riding/grinding on him

He has this tendency to leave bruises, he doesn't mean to, he just gets so wrapped up in the oleasure that he can't control himself

Leib and Protag 2 are both pretty quiet; they both get louder the closer they get to climaxing, and even the gor Leib it's some deep grunts and growl while Protag 2 starts whinning and whispering curses

Leib usuay manages to shove him tongue down her throat before she starts that tho

They have yet to get caught. But Leib knows it's gonna happen one of these days and he's not ready for it, nor is he looking forward to it

Very much king of aftercare

#wOOOOO #THIS IS SO COOL #I WASN'T EXPECTING A PERSON WITH A COOL ASS AU TO ASK FOR ANYTHING #AAAAHH #THESE WERE FUN #LIKE SUPER FUN #LEIB A COOL GUY #housamo #tokyo afterschool summoners #leib #protagonist 2 #headcanons #ship headcanons #spicey #n/s/f/w #thank you dear! #answered!

[ace-trainer-risu]

omg i would like to know the hated author...

OH thank you for asking I was. of course secretly deeply hoping someone would ask so I would have an excuse to go off. 

The author [dramatic pause] is VE Schwab!

Now I will pause (again) to say that I just spent like two hours writing a six page long essay on exactly why I dislike her as an author (I don’t know anything about her as a person so no feelings there) but then when I reread it I started to feel worried that it might hurt someone’s feelings who really likes her as an author, so this is a slightly redacted version.

But basically there are three things I hold against her.

For context, I’ve only actually read one book by her, A Darker Shade of Magic. But it’s not just that I didn’t like it. It’s that it left me angry. I read it a year ago and I still get furious when I think about it. It is, in my opinion, a profoundly toxic and hateful book. 

While at the same time also being a very boring and bland book.

So that’s point one) I just don’t get the hype. I read ADSM b/c I saw it recommended everywhere, but I really don’t get why? It’s not very well-written. Purely on a technical level her writing isn’t bad, but it’s not good either, its very...okay. The world building was really disappointing (it’s about four alternate worlds but they’re all almost. exactly the same. which was super disappointing. and also she seems to be under the illusion that london is like the most important place in the world?) The characters are bare minimum sketches, they basically feel like she came up with an initial concept and then never went any further. The characters aren’t particularly likeable or compelling, either, except for one character who...I felt like you weren’t actually supposed to like, lol. The pacing was actively bad. The plot doesn’t really start till around halfway through the book. I actually started ASDM twice and gave up on it the first time b/c it was boring. when I tried again the second time, I thought I had only read maybe the first quarter of it on the first try b/c I couldn’t remember anything happening, but it turned out I had actually read about half, its just that nothing happens in the first half. 

to be fair, I have read reviews of a different book she wrote which specifically praised the writing, so maybe she just did a shitty job on this book and she writes better in her other work?

point two) if you only pay attention to the text of the story, it’s fine! again, its not particularly compelling but its fine. but if you pay any attention to the subtext, its...really misogynistic and queerphobic. its incredibly pervasive through the whole text. 

for one thing, the female protagonist is introduced and is immediately like “Oh. I hate all other women.” (No one asked!) which is not necessarily bad in and of itself, except that...not only is her sexism never called out or contradicted, its actually actively supported by the text. there’s only one other important female character, and she’s Evil(TM), and also gets killed. the very few other female side characters are either someone’s mom or are portrayed as being extremely shallow and vapid and silly. they act exactly how the female protag despises women for acting. so...I don’t think its intentional but you’re left with this weird impression that the female protag is completely justified in her internalized misogyny b/c apparently all other women ARE bad. also, the female protag likes wearing boy’s clothes, which is great, but there’s this weird vibe that girls who don’t wear boy’s clothes are like, dumb and bad and sexist. I think the author is trying to critique repressive female clothing in the past (female character is from regency era england) but she does it really badly and instead accidentally(?) implies that girls who wear skirts are like. dumb sluts. a very weirdly sexist take. like it literally feels like this book hates women and specifically hates them for wearing “women’s” clothes.  *also not the point but it’s really funny that of all the time periods to critique for restrictive clothes, she picked regency england. ah yes, the torturous constraints of...empire waisted dresses and minimal or no corsets. dastardly! 

for another thing, the queer rep is just...so so bad. there’s one explicitly multisexual person (bi or pan isn’t specified but something along those lines) who gets tricked by a manipulative man older than himself heavily implied to be gay (bad) and gets horribly injured and almost dies (bad) basically just so the straight male protag can have angst (bad!). 

the manipulative guy implied to be gay is in turn being magically controlled by...a different! manipulative older man (bad) and is strongly implied to be sexually abused by that man (bad) and the straight main character literally never tries to help him in any way (bad) and ultimately kills(ish) him (bad) but it’s revealed that he basically chose to die (bad) because it was like, the only way he could ever escape his suffering (very bad!!) and the main character then! uses! his dying body! in a spell! to save his own fucking life! and basically disposes of his still alive! body into hell like he’s garbage (so bad I’m literally still fuming of it over a year later)

and then there’s the guy who is manipulating that guy, who is an older man heavily implied to serially abuse and assault teenage boys and young men (bad!!). he also dies too which is fine and good in and of itself...*

except for the fact that of our three queer-adjacent characters, two die and one is horribly injured and almost dies. two are abused and one is an abuser. two are used as angst-fodder for straight characters and one is literally sacrificed, coldly and selfishly and without his consent, to save a straight character’s life. they’re all closely associated with injury and death and trauma and abuse and it’s suggested that death is the only escape. 

subtextually speaking, this book hates queer men and punishes them for existing. 

*note: I want to specifically say that “enjoying abusing teen boys” does not automatically make a person gay or queer. that’s not what being gay/queer means. HOWEVER, there is a long and ugly history of gay men being portrayed as predators who deliberately prey on and abuse younger men, and this character plays directly into that stereotype, and that is why I included him. not b/c he’s positive queer rep but exactly because he isn’t

thirdly) about a year ago there was a bit of buzz about ve schwab writing a book with a canon asexual character...except I looked into it and a) it’s not actually canon at all; the book only says he’s disinterested in sex, which is by NO MEANS the same and it’s shitty to conflate the two when there’s a vast spectrum of asexual experiences (to be clear, it would be one thing if the text said he was asexual AND disinterested in sex. to say he’s disinterested in sex and that equals asexuality is a whole other thing, and is wrong), and schwab then confirmed on her twitter that he’s meant to be asexual. That’s not the same its not the same and we all know its not the same. b) this character is in fact a villain, which is frustrating when asexuality is FREQUENTLY and harmfully associated with people being heartless and unfeeling and evil and like, literal serial killers; to be fair, as I understand it the majority (all?) of the characters in these books are villains, so that’s less bad, but to be fair again, apparently this specific character is also portrayed as being, like “a sociopath” which is ableist AND goes back to all the stuff I said above. and c) what really annoys me is that in her tweets at the time she was very smug about this and fully patted herself on the back. she did half-assed, unresearched “rep” which wasn’t even actually canon and then acted like she was doing ace ppl a favor. excuse me, I didn’t actually ask to be represented by you. 

SO YEAH that’s not the...medium and short of it. the long and short is reserved for a Cursed(TM) google doc filled with my rage. but the tl;dr is that I think she’s an overhyped writer who wrote a profoundly misogynistic, homophobic book and trumps herself up over rep she didn’t actually do a good job of providing. and I would definitely never read another one of her books. The End!

#things you didn't care to know about veronica #negative #veronica reads things #I don't want to tag her name in this so it doesn't come up in searches since i'm being mean #should i censor her name? please let me know if i should censor her name and i will happily do so #the ask and the answer

[pkmnsdarkqueen]

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPS WORK ON YOUR BLOG: Pokemon Muses Edition

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE? :

Lysandre X Karen, It started as a dumb meme but then one time a mun and I did it and weirdly they work really well. It’s one of those where they are both opposites who attract, but also compliment each other’s strengths and weaknesses. “It started out a meme how did it end up like this, how did it end up like this?!?!” But ye also respect not everyone ships it cause it is such a crack ship at first glance, so I don’t advertise it too much. Currently slow burn shipping with: @nats-rp-world

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING? :  

Yes and no. Like trust me I can easily think of situations for ships to happen, also Karen due to her life experience is pretty shippable personality wise. However her past also makes her rather unshippable along with her morally gray stance on things. I just really have to see there chemistry being there first.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE? :

Going by the rule your age divided by 2 add seven here’s the numbers Youngest she can go: 25, but she gets along better with older people so prefers like 30 Oldest she’ll go: 56, and she’s good at that number.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NS/FW? :

Dirty talk is alright, making out is alright where both parties are clothed. Have been debating on opening an NSFW discord server for the muses though. Cuddles are 100% ok.

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH? :

Lucian X Karen: Very cute, very fun to have 2 muses that are both heavy on emotions, and sensing them. Fun dynamic. Also while Karen isn’t asexual she can 100% be happy with an asexual partner since her sex drive is sort of stagnant, and would require nudging from a partner to get her to acknowledge it. Cuddles are a must though she doesn’t like admitting she loves that. shiz. 

Petrel X Karen: Funny dorks who I love. Especially with Petrel/Daisuke wanting to be a fashion designer. Just thrusts Karen into this spot light, and Petrel seeing her confidence and such at shows and his events meanwhile once they get home she’s all flustered hoping she said the right things. Also posing for photos in his outfits when he’s starting all of them looking powerful, strong, mysterious, confident, and behind the scenes just her blushing the whole time about being called pretty etc. 

ANY NOTPS? :

Any ships with protags, or rivals. Look I get it you can play them aged up, but like it wouldn’t work timeline wise with Karen knowing Red who’d be the oldest protag, and she has such mom instincts it’s not gonna happen. Also Koga or Bruno, they are like dad/uncle to her in every way I see it so like ewe.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

Oh 100%. There are too many ships I can’t just do one. 

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU? :

I would like folks to that way I know what direction they might wanna take something. It can even be a maybe, and we see where things go. 

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP? :

.....Alot, iz cute. 

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS? :

Am a ship obsess but I just kinda accepted that whatever happens happens, and I am not steering the ship on this regard. 

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM? :

......there are so many ;_; Probably Jessie X James though my first anime crush, was James, and low key still find him adorable.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU? :

My messages are open jump on in!

#about shipping! #dash games #(stole it) #shiping

[dillydedalus]

what i read in march

several antigones & some other stuff

call me zebra, azareen van der vliet oloomi

oh boy. i really wanted to like this one, but uh. nah. so this book is about zebra, a young iranian-american from a lineage of ‘autodidacts, anarchists and atheists’, still traumatised by her childhood experience as a refugee (incl. her mother’s death on route). when her father dies years later, zebra decides to retrace the route of her exile thru barcelona, turkey, and back to iran. this sounds great! the beginning is good! but zebra is a quixotic figure (don quixote is unsubtly flagged as THE intertext several times), delusional about her own importance, obsessed with some kind of great literary mission and obnoxious & condescending & egotistic as all fuck (she looks down on students but treats her realisation that like, intertextuality is a thing, as this grand revelation when like..... we been knew since Lit. Theory 101) - and this is intentional & part of the quixotic thing & in general i approve of abrasive & bristly & difficult female characters BUT i expected there to be a gradual process of realisation where she sees that a) maybe her entirely male lineage of geniuses ain’t all that, c) her mission is uh.... incomprehensible. instead, once she reaches spain, she gets bogged down in endless pretentious bullshit and a #toxic relationship that takes up way too much space. knowing that all of that is likely intentional doesn’t.... make it good. also the writing is pretty overwrought for the most part & not even your narrator’s voice being Like That excuses plain bad writing, like the  absurd overuse of ‘intone’ and ‘pose’ as dialogue tags. i see the potential and i see the point & i liked some of it but uh. not good. 2/5, regretfully, generously

in the distance, hernan diaz

i don’t really go for westerns or man vs wilderness stories but damn i’m impressed. despite the violence & deprivation and sheer amount of gross shit, this story of a swedish immigrant getting lost in the american west for decades remains at its core so human, so tender, so sad (honestly this book is SO SAD, yet sometimes oddly hopeful), so evocative of isolation, loneliness, and the desire for human connection. 4/5

notes on a thesis, tiphaine rivière (tr. from french)

god, if i ever considered doing a phd i sure don’t anymore. this is a short graphic novel about a young woman’s descent into academic hell while writing her dissertation about labyrinths in kafka. it’s funny, the art is expressive and fanciful, and it is incredibly relateable if you’ve ever tried to actually write your brilliant, glorious, intricately constructed argument down, battled uni administration or had a panic attack over how to phrase a harmless email to a prof. Academia: Not Even Once. 3.5/5

red mars, kim stanley robinson

this is a very long hard sci-fi novel about mars colonisation & terraforming, discussing the ethics of terraforming, the potentials of a truly ‘martian’ culture, and how capitalism will inevitably fuck everything up, including outer space. all of this is up my alley and i did really like the first half (early colonisation efforts), but the 2nd half (beginning of terraforming, lots of politicking) was a slog - i liked reading about how terraforming was going, but the rest was just bloated, scattered and confusing. also there’s a tedious love triangle the whole time. 2/5

dragon keeper (rain wild chronicles #1), robin hobb

i love robin hobb she really can write a whole 500+ page book of set-up, characterisation and politicking and make it WORK. anyway, this has disabled dragons, a quest for mystical city, lots of rain wilds weirdness, a dragon scholar in an unhappy marriage, liveships, a sweet dummy romance, and uh... a lil penpalship between two messenger bird keepers? not much happens but it’s so NICE & so much is going to happen. also althea & brashen & malta turned up & i screamed. 3.5/5

season of migration to the north, tayeb salih (tr. from arabic)

this is a seminal work of post-colonial arabic literature, a haunting tale of the impact of colonialisation, especially of cultural hegemony in the education system, the disturbing dynamics of orientalism and sex, and village life in a modernising post-colonial sudan. it’s important, it’s well-written, it’ll make you think, but fair warning, there is a lot of violence against women - it has a point but still uh... wow. 3.5/5

dune, frank herbert

SOMETIMES.... BOOKS THAT ARE CONSIDERED MASTERWORKS OF THEIR GENRE.... ARE WORSE. so much worse. the writing in this is atrocious (”his voice was charged with unspeakable adjectives”), herbert somehow manages to make court intrigue and plotting UNBELIEVABLY DULL and sure, it was the 60s, but i’m p sure people knew imperialism was bad in the 60s! the main character, the eugenically-engineered chosen one or whatever, literally spends years among the oppressed & resisting natives of a planet ruled by a space!empire and at the end he’s like ‘i own this planet bc imperialism is Good Actually’. emotionally neglecting/abusing your wife, who you (!!!) decided (!!!) to marry for political reasons bc you’d rather marry your gf is also Good Actually (cosigned by the protag’s mother....) the worldbuilding is influential for the genre, sure w/e, but mainly notable for there just.... being a lot of it, the whole mythology-science makes No Goddamn Sense, all around this is just Bad. Bad. 0.5/5 i hope the Really Big Worms eat everyone 

dragon haven (rain wild chronicles #2), robin hobb

this healed my soul after toxic exposure to dune. anyway w/o spoilers: everyone is very much In Their Feelings (including me) and there’s a lot of Romance and Internal Conflict and Feelings Drama and Complicated Relationships and Group Dynamics and also dragons, which are really like very big, very haughty cats who can speak, and a flood and a living river barge with a mind of his own (love u tarman!). it’s still slow and languid but so so good. also: several people in this have to be told that People Are Gay, Steven, including Sedric, who is himself Gay People. 4/5

an unkindness of ghosts, solomon rivers

super interesting scifi story set on a generation ship with a radically stratified society in which the predominantly black lowerdeckers are oppressed and exploited by the predominantly white upperdeckers, mixed in with a lot of Gender Stuff (the lowerdeckers seem to have a much less stable and binary gender system than the upperdeckers) and neuroatypicality. it’s conceptually rich and full of potential, but just doesn’t quite stick the landing when it comes to the plot. 3/5

sanatorium under the sign of the hourglass, bruno schulz (tr. from polish)

more dreamy surreal short stories (ish?). i didn’t like this collection quite as much as the amazing street of crocodiles, but they are still really good, even tho you never quite know what is going on. featuring flights of birds, people turning into insects, thoughts about seasons and time, fireman pupae stuck in the chimney, and the continuing weird fixation on adela the maid. 3.5/5

angela merkel ist hitlers tocher, christian alt & christian schiffer

a fun & accessible guide to conspiracy theories, focusing on the current situation in germany and the current boom in conspiracy theories, but also including some historical notes. i wish it had been a bit less fun & flippant and more in-depth and detailed bc it really is quite shallow at points, but oh well. also yes the title does indeed translate to ‘angela merkel is hitler’s daughter’ so. yes. 2.5/5

the midwich cuckoos, john wyndham

fun lil scifi story in which almost all women in sleepy village midwich are suddenly pregnant, all at the same time. the resulting children, predictably, are strange, creepy, and possibly a threat to humanity. i get that it was written in the 50s but it is strange to read a book where almost all women, and only women, are affected by A Thing, but all the main characters are men & no one tells the women ‘hey we think it’s xenogenesis’ -  like realistically 80% of women affected went to the Neighbourhood Lady Who Takes Care of These Things like ‘hello, one (1) abortion please’ and the plot just ended there. i still liked it tho! 3/5

antigone project

antigone, the original bitch, by sophocles (tr. by fagles)

god antigone really is That Bitch. that’s all i have to say. 4.5/5

antigone, That Bitch but in french, jean anouilh

the Nazi-occupied france antigone. loved the meta commentary on what tragedy is and how antigone has to step into the Role of Antigone, which will kill her “but there’s nothing she can do. her name is antigone and she will have to play her part through to the end”. i didn’t really like (esp. given the ~historical context) the choice to make creon much more sympathetic, trying to save antigone’s life from the beginning. hmm. 3.5/5

antigonick, anne carson

look, antigone really is That Bitch and you know what? so is anne carson. best thing i’ve read so far this year, don’t ask me about it or i’ll yell the task of the translator of antigone at you. 5/5

home fire, kamila shamsie

honestly i really wanted to like this bc politically it’s on point and an anti-islamophobia antigone sounds amazing, but it just doesn’t succeed as a book/adaption. it spends way too much time in build-up/backstory (the play’s plot only starts in the second half of the book!), waaayyy to much time on the weirdly fetishistic antigone/haimon romance, and even the most interesting characters (ismene & creon) don’t fully work out. sad. 2/5

currently reading: the magic mountain by thomas mann, but i should be done in a week or so! also: the paper menagerie by ken liu, a collection of sff short stories

#the books i read #long post

[myrfing]

Opinion about the latest darling in the franxx episode?

my fellow darling in the frankfurt discusser...spoilers below cut in case anyone else following watches

I guess generally im tentative about it? The thing I wanted most from the show was more focus on the unique world they had, and they sure are switching the gaze to that. Character building is good and fine, but they spent a billion episodes using a silly and frustrating love triangle to do that, so thank god they’re moving on. I’m finally asking questions about the show, and it’s fun babey!

They’re also finally giving ikuno screentime which GOD I’ve wanted that since they introduced her properly. Honestly, she would have made for a much more interesting protag if the focus was going to be on ~forbidden love~ and whatever, considering the anime is literally no joke state mandated heterosexuality LMFAOOO

AND they’re giving the nines screentime, aka team of little assholes, which I also was curious about. It’s obvious they’re not good news right now, but I wonder where they will stand by the end of the show.

+ I asked for 002 to drink her respecting others juice, and she sure is. It’s fun and cute seeing her get along with people who want to get along with her. I get the vibe she’s doing a lot of thinking about who she is in lieu of everything else, which again, is what I wanted and what I got. and while she may not be as firey sexey whatever for now, I think her headstrong side would be SO MUCH more fun to watch seeing it directed at people who are actually her enemies. Like I said before, she does deserve a second chance because she’s never been given a chance to learn, and she is learning now. Her relationship with Hiro is actually comfy. Given the show is in a transitional period, we don’t really know how this is going to play out either, but I’m excited to see them all work together in tougher situations. On a side note though, I do hope they keep her dominant side WITHOUT resorting to making her outright abusive again. though I’d be being really antsy to bother suspecting the show of retrograding.

The whole babymaking thing made sirens go off in my fucking head I am so damn glad they cut out the sex scene I thought they were going to pull a m/irai nikki thing and force us to see middle schoolers getting it on. If they want to discuss sexuality and growing up, they should continue to keep it relatively clinical like this ye. of course, expecting them to cut off the fanservice is not gonna happen, but it helps me take the discussion more seriously when they’re not blasting barely pubescent T&A in our faces and calling it deep at the same time.

As for how they are treating gender and sexuality since it is a big topic of the show....uh.....i’m not going to expect japan to swerve very far, and they’ve said too little about it to discern whether or not they’re actually treating it thoughtfully. As of now, the discussion is like....THERE ARE GIRLS...THERE ARE BOYS....THEY CAN MAKE BABIES....THIS IS DESTINY.....LOVE EXISTS BECAUSE BOYS AND GIRLS EXIST....and it’s like. I really wonder if this is really truly as far as the discussion goes for a group as unique as them. It’s not odd for them to wonder mainly about reproduction and not be perfect about it, but it IS odd that they so closely follow a bunch of uber....uh....binary(?) shit that is a result of OUR society that isn’t present in theirs. like where did you guys learn all this arbitrary shit...?

tl;dr: im pretty sure the show is still going to go on and on about teenage drama HOWEVER they are going in a direction that I’m finding actually interesting and enjoyable and MAYBE I AM STILL DESPERATE TO SALVAGE THE SHOW but i am hope..............also the adults still can eat anus

what are your thoughts eyes emoji

[freshlyjuicedbeetles]

Pennywise x Reader Smut!

Same world and protag as my microfiction series. 

More of my Pennywise x Reader smut 

https://misanthropicpansexual.tumblr.com/post/165926993306/eventual-fic-where-penn-is-into-bdsm-and-doesnt

Enjoy you clown fuckers!

I first felt him in the early afternoon. I was at a local diner, interviewing an elder about Pennywise sightings in the fifties. It was a simple touch of fingertips gently running up and down my back. Pennywise himself was nowhere to be seen. I knew he had this power and used it quite often, just to remind me that he was there and watching, that I am an owned human. However, he never used it erotically. I was beginning to wonder when he’d put two and two together.

Goosebumps erupted over my skin and I wanted to curl into the feeling, wanting more, but kept my focus on the interview.

“Gosh, he’s gotta be at least 6’4, but my buddy Carl says he can get even bigger.” My interviewee said, shock in his thick Maine accent.

“Oh, he can…?,” I replied, it started out as a statement of agreement, but I was able to tack on an inflection of questioning at the end. It wasn’t the smoothest of recovers, but it worked.

“We saw him as far as Eastport last September,” A woman said, cradling her toddler on her hip outside the bank, later in the afternoon. “My husband saw him hiding under the docks at low tide.” The toddler covered her ears in fright.

Little did she know, that I brought him with me to Eastport for the Pirate Festival. I dutifully recorded the notes for show, as his fingertips played xylophone across my ribcage.

“Dude, he like, eats people,” A teenager said emphatically as he stopped wiping down a table at Derry’s favorite pizza place. “Who does that?” Pennywise’s hands were caressing my inner thighs under my jeans.

By the time I got home, my skin was already on fire with arousal and my panties were dampening. It was such a naughty thing, being caressed and fondled by an invisible monster in public. There he was waiting for me like he owned the place. I said nothing, simply grabbing him by the fabric of his top and pulling him to my lips.

His lips pressed against mine, sparing no time in forcing his tongue through my lips. I wrapped my arms around his back, pulling him as close to me as possible. It was times like these, when I still had some brain function that wasn’t clouded by lust, that I was Frenching and about to fuck a godlike alien dressed as a clown. It was both hilariously ridiculous and earthshattering. He chose me. This being chose me. My arousal spiked.

He drops his lips to my neck, kissing and biting me, drool spilling down my shirt. After sex, my body is a crime scene. I always look like I have been assaulted with bite marks, hand prints and bruises littering my body, covered in blood, saliva and cum. I may be somewhere between being his mate and his personal sex toy, but damn it’s fun. He trails the side of my neck with his tongue. “What are you thinking about, little one? I can smell you…”

“You,” I whisper, my breath caught in my throat.

“Louder!” He orders, pulling at the neck of shirt to expose my shoulder and bites shallowly into the skin, licking the welling blood.

“You!” I exclaim, hissing at the not so pleasant feel of being bitten, but the pain is still good.

He draws a heart in the blood.

I jump when I hear the theme music to the Addam’s Family; my dad’s ringtone. I sigh in annoyance and drop my forehead against Pennywise’s shoulder.

“Hi Daddy,” I answered as Pennywise palmed my breast and sucked at my neck.

“Your daughter calls me daddy, too,” Pennywise cackled, dangerously close to the receiver.

“What was that?” Dad asked. I couldn’t tell if he heard Pennywise or not. I was mortified regardless.

“Nothing, just the TV.” I said, pushing Pennywise away by his face. He gave me a warning bite to assert his dominance.

“Oh, okay.” Dad replies, “Listen, honey, Mom and I will be in that neck of the woods next month. We’ll be in Baltimore investigating the Edgar Allan Poe House. We’d love to see you!”

My brain is too fuzzy to understand what he’s saying because of the feral clown attached to my throat and with wicked hands. “Yeah, sure, that sounds great,” I slap my hand over my mouth to suppress a squeal of pleasure when Pennywise fingers my nipple through my shirt.

“Wonderful! I’ll call you lat...”

I cut Dad off quickly, “Okayloveyoutoobye,” I say before disconnecting the call.

Pennywise backs me into the wall with the thud of my back, kissing me with such passion. He grabs my left leg and drapes it over his hip, offering me a feel of his straining erection under his linen pants. Suddenly, he stops. My eyes open to see what the deal is and he staggers back. His expression is pained and…scared? Cracks start appearing all over his body. Just as he was about to let out what I was sure to be an ungodly scream, he falls apart and disappears.

My chest heaves and heart thunders. I notice it’s quiet. No birds to be heard, no crick of a cricket. This isn’t right. I plow through the door and see nothing and no one. I jog down the short gravel road that leads to town and see nothing and no one. The whole town of Derry is deserted. No kids on their bikes, no elders sitting outside on Main Street shooting the breeze, no frazzled housewives running errands, no teenagers glued to their cell phones.

Call mom. That’s my first thought. I hope to god that my cell phone is my pocket and it is. It’s just that there’s no contacts in my phone, no text messages, no incoming or outgoing calls when I knew I had at least two unanswered texts and that call from Dad. My chest feels heavy and skin prickles with fear. Nothing and no one on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat…no content or people.

I am alone in the world. I have been abandoned. I lose all power in my body and slump to the ground. My once heated blood turns to ice and pricks at me from the inside. What am I going to do? I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this.

Suddenly, I am staring at orange eyes and I back home with Pennywise. I can once again hear the world outside my home. “Boo! Scare ya?” He asked wickedly, howling with laughter like it’s the funniest thing he has ever seen.

Before I can comprehend what just happened, his demon-like claws pierce through his white gloves and tear through my shirt and jeans. I am standing there in the rags of my clothes. He pops the elastic of my bra straps and slices through my panties.

He continues biting, nipping, licking and kissing down my body, drawing more blood and writing his name and drawing more hearts all over my body. I have never seen a more erotic and grotesque sight.

He stares at my breast for a bit longer than a human would. I doubt before mine, he hasn’t seen much of any but seems to like them. He gleefully cups them in his large hands and I notice that his gloves are gone. I sigh at the feeling of his skin against mine. His fingers twirl my nipples as he kisses me, our tongues twisting together. I groan into his mouth as he pinches at them, the feeling shooting into my spinal cord to my vulva.

“Such a good girl for daddy,” He croons gravelly.

God, that voice of his alights every nerve I have in delight.

Pennywise kisses down the front of my throat, occasionally dragging the tips of his teeth down my torso. He cups my Venus Mound and easily slides two fingers into me; those long, elegant and spindly fingers that I want to suck on and can turn my body into a writhing mess on the floor.

His other hand grabs me by my throat, limiting my air to a tiny amount. My head becomes even fuzzier and all the pleasure I am feeling intensifies. I am just on the edge of passing out. My brain cells may be dying and I’ll probably lose all my knowledge of math after we’re done, but it feels too good to beg him to stop, as though he would.

His fingers pump faster and faster into me, creating obscene noises that are only drown out by my own muted wailing. My skin begins to buzz and flush, I’m so close to that incredible precipice, but he yanks his fingers out seconds before I fall. I suck in a lungful of air as he releases my throat.

He licks his fingers clean with a wicked shit eating grin on his face. I am left there dangling, trying to catch my breath. “My turn,” He says pressing my head down. I get the message and drop to my knees.

A good thing about fucking an alien; he can have multiple orgasms and no refractory period; more time to play and more fun while at it.

I caress his heavy and warm cock in my hands and his eyes flutter shut. He feels good in my hands and inside me. I kiss the tip, almost in reverence of the being it’s attached to and of how much pleasure the organ can bring me. I swipe my tongue along the slit, drawing the precum that has settled there into my mouth.

I bring him into my mouth as deep as he can go and alternate between sucking and licking. Pennywise’s hand curls into a fist, fighting the urge to shove himself down my throat more than I can accommodate. I accidentally bit him the first time. He’s learned.

I cuddle his balls in my hand, drawing a groan from the clown. I am able to keep the suction and drag my teeth down his cock which causes that fist to suddenly pound violently into my bottom cabinets. I grin, knowing I caused that.

I bob my head faster and harder on his cock and moments later, he grunts and spills into my mouth. I wasn’t a swallower before, but damn, the thought of swallowing his is hot.

“That’s it….take it…take it all…” He moans.

He recovers his breath and throws me over his shoulder, smacking my ass hard before walking the few steps to my (our?) bedroom and depositing me on the bed.

“My beautiful little human,” he hums, his eyes alight. I love his eyes whether they are blue or orange. They are bright and full of life and personality regardless of their color. I don’t know if it’s a natural attribute he was born with or something he does himself. Those eyes could dance me of Niagara Falls if he so desired.

Pennywise swings my legs over his shoulders. Eating me out and licking up my blood is the closest he seems to want to get to eating me while still tasting me. He gives me a long and languid lick up my vulva. I toss my head back in a moan, grinding my nails into the bedding beneath me.

“Tell me who owns this fucking pussy,” He growls against me, his voice vibrating against my soaking flesh.

“You do, Pennywise!” I holler.

He chuckles a slides his tongue against my clit. He sucks at it while replacing his fingers. They curl upwards and I nearly bolt off the bed when he hit the right spot. He chuckles once more against me. He switches and his tongue slides into me as his fingers roll my clit. I am thrashing my head back and forth, unintelligible noises and words spilling from my mouth.

Just as I am about to climax, he stops again. I whine at the sudden cessation of the pleasurable stimuli, feeling like a frayed and exposed nerve. He crawls on the bed and positions himself above me.

We’ve never fucked where he’s totally naked, just a few strategically popped buttons. I’ve never felt more than the skin of hands, face or cock against my own. While I would love for the all physical barriers between us to come down, I love him in his costume. His silhouette is gorgeous in it; the smooth taper of his waist and his long and lean legs accentuated by his close-fitting pants. Even with the puffs around his arms and midsection, he cuts an intimidating figure. When the sex is the best, I find myself biting into his ruffled collar to keep the cops from being called.

He thrusts hard into me, drooling like a dog, never allowing me to adjust to his size. God, he probably would’ve eaten my hymen if he had the chance.  I freeze in pleasure and my breath is caught in my throat. It is then that I know that I could never have sex with another person and feel even half the pleasure and connection I feel with Pennywise.

“You belong to me, little girl,” He asserts, reading my mind.

Of all the men and women I’ve slept with, Pennywise knows how to fuck me the best.

God, those fucking bells. They jingle like a Christmas carol as he pounds into me, a Christmas Carol from a Rob Zombie flick. I’ll never be able to hear them the same way again.

We are holding onto each other for dear life as his thrusts become more erratic. “I’ll make you float, too, now.” He whispers into my neck.

Our orgasms rip through us seconds apart from each other. I swear, this must be what being struck by lightning feels like. I scream his name as he fills me impossibly full, leaking onto the bed. We clutch each other as we return to earth.

Still panting, he tore a bell of his sleeve, placed it in my palm, closing my hand around it. His kissed my closed fist and was gone.

“Does this mean we’re married?” I asked to open air.

His only answer was the feeling of a hand pressing into the skin above my heart.

#pennywise #pennywise x reader #pennywise fanfiction #pennywise smut #microfiction #it 2017

[tydy-the-megnet]

Get Ready for a Long Post: Elby9001 Writing Stats for 2017

Uh… What? Fics I’ve written this year? Jeez, I hope I recall them all.

Tagged by @sp4c3-0ddity (i love your blog so thx!)

Tagging… Um… @jackandlanterns ? and… @yojimbra and… um…… @hopefullypessimistic84 you wanna do it? @fuckingchatnoir too, if you want?

Okay, Let’s do this. Luckily, I tag all my fics on tumblr with #fanfiction so finding all my fics is easy (especially if you want to find them right now *winks with boths eyes*) MOVING ON

Also You can search for this post under the tag “Masterlist” because it has links to ALL my fics. You’re welcome ;)

Breakdown: Fanfics Posted

23 Voltron fics – 60.6%

5 Miraculous Ladybug fics – 13.2%

4 Camp Camp fics – 10.5%

4 Naruto fics – 10.5%

1 RWBY fic – 2.6%

1 Harry Potter fic – 2.6%

Tumblr Fics (Found on my blog, obviously)

–Voltron: Legendary Defender (All Pidgance)

Nonsense (Pidge? Like him? No way)

Together, But Not Together (Lance rambles to Pidge)

Just Like Home (Aw, they’re homesick)

Feline Affectionate (Lance wants the pussy Pidge is a Cat?)

Where Are We? (Lost, but not stressed)

Baked (”Lance, are you… high?”)

Coding (Actually, ciphering)

Freedom (When FInals Week ends)

The Box (Lance has a box. Pidge is curious)

Headpwnd (Dancing)

Treasured (Treasure hunting)

This Guy’s... (Operation: Find-Out-Lance’s-Type)

Iron Paladin (Iron Man AU)

Laundering (Who doesn’t love a good laundry mix-up?)

Preprogrammed (Flirty Robot)

Hopelance Romantic (Lance is a hopeless romantic)

Virtually Impossible (Lance? Winning at video games?)

It’s “Pining,” Not “Piping” (Pidge pining for Lance)

Soulstice (Soulmate AU)

Growing Plance (Pidge has a green-ish thumb)

Snow Angel (Pidge likes the indoors, but miracles do happen)

Tall Tales (He was so tall, and she was so short)

Through the Looking Glass (glasses fluff)

That Cute Green Monster (Green [with envy] Paladin)

–Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir

Marinette DuPun-Cheng (Marinette makes a pun. Adrien Approves)

Dadrien (Adrien makes dad jokes. Marinette does not approve)

How to Pick Up Ladybugs (Adrien finds out Ladybug’s ID and turns up the charm) (Adrienette)

Getting into Character (Adrien and Nino dress-up for Halloween)

Aishiteru, Adrien-kun (Adrienette, Mari tries to confess in foreignese)

–Camp Camp (All Marris)

Pixie and the Python (Max asks Gwen for dating advice)

Making People (Somewhat of a sequel to above)

The Questgivers (Max vs Nerris’ parents)

The New Girl (High school AU)

Fanfiction fics (found here)

–Naruto

The Ultimate Ninjutsu (Team Kakashi wins thanks to Naruto’s jutsu)

Oh, It’s You (NaruHina Soulmate AU)

Assassination Exams (normal school AU – know the game “Assassin”?)

New Soul Revamped! (My take on an OC in Naruto’s body. one of my only multi-chapter fics)

–RWBY

This Is JNPR (Lancaster JNPR band AU romcom)

–Harry Potter

Let It Sink In (Sirius is up to no good, Amelia catches him.)

Total Work Count: 38

Ship Breakdown: PIDGANCE WINS at an overwhelming 60.5% of my fics. Blame @pidgancemonth2017 for that.

Character Breakdown: Pidge Gunderson, aka Katie Holt, wins. Again, protag of 60.5% of my fics.Lance McClain has a good second place, but I focused more on Pidge throughout because I like her more

BESTS AND WORSTS

Best Title(s)? I’m very fond of Through the Looking Glass because I’m a fan of Lewis Carroll and Alice in Wonderland. Also, Growing Plance because I like puns and I adore that ship name.

Worst Title? This Guy’s… I am NOT proud of that one.

Best First Line? From Just Like Home 

“Voltron’s yellow paladin walked into the kitchen with one purpose: snacking.”

I like that line because, like why else would you walk into a kitchen lol

Worst First Line? Direct okay. From New Soul Revamped!

“It was a bright day in the Land of Fire and in the Village Hidden in the Leaves as well.”

I don’t like it because if it’s bright in the Land of Fire, it’s gonna be bright in the Leaf Village duh you idiot

Best Last Line? Well… From Preprogrammed

“‘So,’ she concluded, ‘Why would someone else’s robot flirt with my boyfriend?’”

Because same, girl, same.

but ALSO from Growing Plance

“In a fierce whisper, she spoke to PM3, ‘Pidge McClain III. Not. One. Word.’”

I adore this line because Pidge is so cute in that one.

Worst Last Line? Calling for it again ooh boy. From This Guy’s…

“’Hunk,’ Lance glanced to him, stifling snickers, ‘What do you think of Katie’s new haircut?’”

That line is such a week ending ugh.

GENERAL QUESTIONS

Looking back, did you write more or less fics than you expected?

Way more, mostly because of Pidgance month (it brought upon over half of my fics this year.)

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you wouldn’t have expected last year?

Considering I just got into Voltron this year… Pidgance and Voltron. I mostly stick to the same genres, though…

What’s your favorite story that you wrote?

Through the Looking Glass because I wear glasses and every time someone tells me that I explode I’ve ruined so many outfits with that pls help

What’s your most popular story?

On tumblr, with 72 notes as of 01-01-2018 (one more than the second place spot) is Treasured 

One fanfiction.net Dadrien leads with 119 faves (eight above the second place spot) as of 01-01-2018

Least popular story?

Oh boy… on tumblr, it’s Making People with 5 notes

On fanfiction.net Let It Sink In has only 3 faves

Fic that could use the most improvement?

Emphasis on “the most” because ALL my fics could use improvement to some extent. But the one that needs it the most is Marinette DuPun-Cheng. It was just… awful. I’d scrap it completely and never look back, but I use it as a standing point to say “I’m getting better all the time”

Sexiest Fic? *winks with with both eyes*

SPOILER ALERT

HA! I don’t really write sex scenes… So… The closest would be The Ultimate Ninjutsu, where Naruto uses Sexy Jutsu during the bell-test

Saddest Story?

I don’t write sad stories much either… But I’d have to say

It’s “Pining,” Not “Piping” or That Cute Green Monster

one of those is the saddest, but I can’t decide which.

Most fun to write?

Oh goodness. Three-way tie!

of Voltron, Hopelance Romantic

of Miraculous Ladybug, How to Pick Up Ladybugs

of Camp Camp, Pixie and the Python

Story with single sweetest moment?

Hm. Good question… What is a “sweet moment” though? A moment of genuine connection and caring shown between two people whether romantic, platonic, or familial?

Literally all of Making People is Max doing his best to show Nerris he’s trying. I think that’s really sweet. But also, Treasured is really sweet I think

Hardest story to write?

New Soul Revamped! is really hard because I failed once I’m trying really hard not to fail again.

Hopelance Romantic was also hard, just because I had to keep deleting and rewriting because my first few drafts were unsatisfactory

Easiest story to write?

Freedom was literally me just expressing after making it through finals so

Did any stories shift your perception of characters?

Writing Marinette Dupain-Cheng made me think Marinette was boring unless Ladybug was directly involved.

Most overdue story?

I don’t really put deadlines on my stories… But I guess Tall Tales was uploaded like a day after the prompt dictated?

Did you take any writing risks this year?

This is JNPR is my first multichapter romcom, and I’m not far in, but I’ve learned that you can’t be lenient with your readers because no ending is acceptable

What are your writing goals for 2018?

Ohhh boy… I guess I want to keep up with my multichapter fics, This Is JNPR, New Soul Revamped, and Getting into Character. Also, I want to branch out into some other fandoms, too

Wow. Thanks for tagging me. Doing this has felt amazing.

What now? Snack? Snack.

#my writing year in review #my fics #stats #fandom #fanfiction #masterlist #voltron legendary defender #vld #miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #mlb #camp camp #naruto #rwby #harry potter #now im gonna eat #this took hours #im hungry

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Gormless Wrap-Up

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

So here are my final thoughts on the book Changeless for those interested in such things:

Once again the big problem/perk of the story is the consistent frivolousness of it all.  The book is much more interested in its supposed comedy of manners than the last.  This comedy of manners mostly boils down to lol Ivy is stupid, and look at how uptight everyone is.  For the most part it’s just not that clever and more often than not I’m just rolling my eyes at it.  I will say this book is funnier than the last one.  There are a few jokes that are just so dumb, they do hit me in a good way.

However it’s kinda frustrating when nobody seems to care about the overarching plot at all.  Like there is an active shooter in the castle and they all just shrug and go to dinner and later bed.  For me personally, and I don’t know if people would disagree with me on this…when I pick up a supernatural action/comedy/romance.  I’m kinda there for the action, and hoping to enjoy it being peppered with a fun romance and silly comedy.  Not for the action to show up once every 3 chapters, and most of it is a couple of unlikable buttholes being belligerently horny at one another and a dumb character off in the corner going, “Duhhh what does this button do?” The action at the center should be propelling the rest of the story but rather it just feels as if it was an afterthought.

But I mean…at least I find the comedy funny a few times, I did not find the action at the center compelling at fucking all.  The ~who dun it spy~ antagonist was painfully easy to guess.  She does a piss poor job at structuring the suspense and wastes a lot of obvious opportunities for drama.  The few dramatic moments we do get I spend the time going, “that makes no sense” rather than, “WILL THEY MAKE IT OUT ALIVE?!”  Part of this issue comes down to the fact the book wants you to miss out on feeling the ~BAD~ emotions.   You’re not allowed to be sad, scared, or confused as to the right course of action. ONLY HORNY AND LAUGHING! ONLY HORNY AND LAUGHING!  Not only are we missing out on feelings that could make one more deeply invested in the characters and story…but there are moments that should be sad or scary and instead are just powered through with oblivious humor, which makes the lead characters seem monstrously callous or thick as pig shit.

Alexia was kinda a plucky idiot last book.  This book her utter lack of human empathy and kindness makes her harder and harder to root for.

Maccon’s asshole-osity becomes increasingly apparent.  He has a very bad case of hypocrisy in this book.  He refuses to share basic information with his wife but gets seething mad when she doesn’t tell him much less vital information. It’s really not hot or the sign of a good leader that his tactic for dealing with people is mostly intimidation, with a pinch of violence, and that he was seriously considering hurting his wife over listening to her. The only thing he puts effort into is trying to have sex with his wife, and he really should have a few things higher on his god damn list.  And honestly? He doesn’t really do much for this story at all. Alexia does all the plot lifting on her own.  The only thing he contributes to is the ending, and it casts him in an incredibly dark light.  And yanno it just sucks to know that he’s going to be forgiven for it and probably for as little as a “My bad.”  

I continue to find the Alexia/Maccon relationship beyond irritating but at least there were a couple of moments were they genuinely seem to connect in an intimate way, which were absent from the last book.  To be clear I am not conflating intimacy with sex when I use the word.  The two of them are most definitely not equals in the relationship. I wouldn’t classify the relationship as abusive, but best case scenario it’s not equal and worst case scenario it’s quite unhealthy with Maccon holding most of the cards.  But…I mean I can see why somebody would find their pissing contests entertaining.  But for me they’re child-adults who can’t speak to one another outside of annoyed sighs and dry humping.  Their banter is just not sexy or funny to me.

The Ivy and Tunstell subplot drama doesn’t work well at all.  The story outright tells you it doesn’t really care about it.  And the way it moves forward is clunky as all get out.  In particular when they just make-out out of nowhere.  I know they were trying to reconcile with how Tunstell saved her…than let that be the event that catapults them back together.  Let Ivy look up into Tunstell’s eyes after the rescue and breath, “….You saved me…and after all those awful things I said about you.”

Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who cares!?

Speaking of which we get a lot more out of Ivy this book than last and I’m just not impressed with it.  I predicted that Ivy was going to be the comic relief dumb friend.  That Alexia would keep her around for her own ego and just be condensing to her the entire time.  Last book we didn’t get that. THIS BOOK WE GET WHAT I PREDICTED IN SPAAAAAAAAADES! Ivy is not framed as lovable, and not even for a second does Alexia interact with Ivy outside of irritated condensation she hides with a snide quip.  Sure Alexia can be snarky toward her, and Ivy frustrated but there is no affection from either of them.

I’M HONESTLY NOT SURE IF ALEXIA IS CAPABLE OF SUCH A THING!

LeFoux was cool though, even though there was no reason why she had to lie about Maccon asking her to keep Alexia safe.  And like the thing about their two dads knowing each other is interesting but honestly there’s probably nothing more to it.  I’m not a big fan of Alexia sexually assaulting her for no reason, or how Alexia needed it explained to her that lesbians are real.  But like, I’m glad the story is getting gay.

I’m kinda confused why Channing was even here?  She OPENS THE BOOK with a conflict about this character and then nothing of import comes out of him or the situation at all.  The whole team up with Biffy and Lyall sub-sub-sub plot should either not have even been in the book at all or there should have been significant more effort made to make their antics increase the drama for the main plot.  I suspect Channing is going to be more plot important next book.  AKA the next Angelique.  

Just like last book the antagonist is super weak.  I mean you could argue that she wasn’t revealed as the big bad until the 2nd to last chapter, you couldn’t build on her much…however her spy antics were throughout the book and none of it is very compelling. There could have easily had a better confrontation.  That Alexia confronts Angelique about spy stuff, and Angelique breaks out crocodile tears explaining, “NO it was LEFOUX!  I’m so sorry my lady, I couldn’t stop her!”And for a second Alexia questions it and hesitates but in that moment of hesitation BLAMO! STAB IN THE BACK! We should have had that stark contrast between her meek diligent servant persona and what a manipulative conniving bitch she’s supposed to be.  Make that betrayal FELT you know?

TL;DR

What’s good?

This book is more humorous than the last.  Again it’s just that NO-BUMMERS train chugging past a lot of dumb jokes in a steam-powered train straight into werewolf-fuckville.  The story getting gayer is enjoyable, and I have genuinely not read a het romance that teases any lesbianism. (Though I don’t read many het romances anyway.)  Despite my distaste for a lot of the characters and how this is all written, LeFoux was genuinely a lot of fun!  Her flirtations were WAY sexier than anything Alexia/Maccon had…but I don’t know if that’s cause I’m gayer than I am straight WHOOPS!  I will say that I think the pacing of the action in this book was better than the 1st.  Also the ending, despite me not caring for the characters, was a pretty good gut-punch.

And let’s be honest, in a trilogy the middle book is the hardest to pull off.

What’s bad?

Everything falls apart on any kind of base analysis.  The story spends way too much time holding your hand on stupid details like the current state of LeFoux’s dimples or is that other hot werewolf, who’s not plot relevant at all, still hot?  The mystery aspect was easily guessed, the plot does not hold water, and if you take a step back from any of these characters…most of them are completely distasteful.  Also this one featured much more open racism and sexism.  So booooooooooo. Would not recommend.

#soulless #gormless #senseless #riffs #review

[leeholtwrites]

I've notice lately in some YA Fantasy where main characters come off as shallow, vain, hateful, and whiny. I can't stand them but, then I think, what if this is the author's intention and I'm just being too judgmental? I like characters that has conflicting morals and attitudes. I suppose it all comes down to how the character in viewed within the text. Often times these protagonist aren't seen as flawed. I just wanted to know you're opinion since you've snarked some YA and are also a writer.

It all comes down to framing. Yes, framing. How do the other characters act around them? 

So what’s framing? Framing is how the text/camera depicts the character despite the actual “text.” This is much easier to explain in film because the camera and the script are separate entities. The script could have this wonderfully written female character, but if she’s framed by the camera as a sex object that is all the audience will see because the camera is literally telling you how to see that character. I suggest looking at this video by Lindsay Ellis about Megan Fox in the Transformers franchise. It’s about feminist theory, but has one of the best examples of framing for what you want to know.

(Also this one on Guardians of the Galaxy. It points out how the movies staring whiny white guys aren’t usually critical of them, except GotG vol. 2, apparently. It might help you figure out how to cross the “am I just being judgmental line?” It just reminded me of how many YA protags get away with being whiny little snots.)

Now in text, like books, its a bit harder. You have to figure out the difference between what the author wants you to see vs. what you see. And what you see is what matters. I believe it was Seanan McGuire that said that author intent is worth the paper its not written on, and if you see a whiny little snot when all her friends praise her, and the text keeps telling you how awesome she is, the writer has failed and she’s a whiny little snot.

But this can also get kind of hairy. Many readers don’t know how to separate what the text is trying to say versus what the rider intends you to take away from it. Like I said, in YA where the protag is framed as being awesome when they just act entitled and you want to punch them all the time, most people only see the text telling them that this person is important and you must worship them even though they are terrible people. (See Jace from The Mortal Instruments. Fuck that guy.)

The hairy part is that well written books don’t tell you anything. They show you. They let the characters speak for themselves. I’m going to use Mark Lawrence’s Broken Empire because it is one of the best examples of this.

SPOILERS... maybe.

Jorg of Ancrath is a horrible, horrible human being. He is the protagonist we spend three books with in first person. We are in his head. It is rough there in the brain of a charming, quite possibly a sociopath that you kind of end up enjoying being around. Even when he gets a whole people killed by blowing up a “castle” with a nuclear bomb. Even when he uses people to achieve his own ends. Even when he rapes his antagonist. (We’ll get back to that.) Jorg deserves his ending, but he’s the protagonist. We should like him right?

Lawrence does not make this choice for you. Jorg is an unrepentant monster quite often, but that’s the point. He’s supposed to be terrible since the book asks what does it take to achieve not just the wanted outcome, but the needed outcome. Jorg needs to succeed to save the world, and he know that he should not be the hero. There are those who are better people than he. He know this. Says it repeatedly.

When Lawrence writes the only graphic rape scene in three books (pretty good for the book everyone called the one with all the rape) he switches it to the victim’s point of view, because she’s the one who matters in that scene. (Better than Game of Thrones.) We aren’t given an reason, cause, chance to empathize with Jorg. He is a bad, bad man. Do not forget this. But the writer doesn’t actually tell you anything.

(I actually think Chella might have been the true hero of the series considering all the shit Jorg does to her before this point including killing her brother and destroying her power. Sure, she’s a dirty necromancer working with the Dead King to take over the world, but when you know how it ends, Chella is definitely a hero in a sense.)

I could go on forever about how the Broken Empire is a fantasy novel that leans more toward Literature with a big L than most people are used to from that kind of work, and yes it does not treat women all that well, but we would be here for hours if I took that analysis road.

SPOILERS OVER

Because Lawrence uses subtlety and action to let you know how you should think about his depraved humans he calls protagonists (and Nona) many people did not stick around to read all of Broken Empire because they thought he was glorifying Jorg’s behavior, endorsing and condoning murder and rape. Opposite problem, see? Most don’t know who to “see” the framing. It takes work to see past the author’s fingerprints to what is actually going on. The easier it is to see the fingerprints, usually the worst the writing (this isn’t always the case, but easiest in YA for some weird reason).

As I told another ask, trust your gut. It’s a learned thing. If the character’s behavior is saying whiny little snot, look at the framing. If its is intentional, usually there will be some consequences or someone will react to this behavior even if its just a line. If it’s not, they’ll probably get away with it, which means its most likely not intentional. Cassandra Clare’s work is really good example of this.

Hope this helps.

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Gormles Ch. 14 - DAD OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO…

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

Alexia solved the problems!  So it’s time for our obligatory fade to black sex scene and cliff-hanger.

Chapter 14 – DAD OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO…

So this is our last chapter and boy does it TAKE A TURN! WOOF!

So the chapter opens up with the Maccons, I guess doing it, in the hallway right after the above conversation.  And I do not like the language used.

“There was really nothing else to do when Conall was in one of these moods but to enjoy it.”

“Alexia sacrificed herself on the altar of wifely duty, enjoying every minute of it, of course, …”

My inner feminist killjoy hates the rape culture language used as well as the term WIFELY DUTY. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she enjoyed it and they make it clear in the text. I’m just irritated that they have to throw ravishment language all over it.  Why can’t it be phrased as expressly consensual since it is?  I know ravishment is a popular fetish…but it’s also everywhere and doesn’t apply here? WHATEVER!

The married pair go up to the Aethographor and message Akeldama, and Akeldama confirms that the Westminster Hive’s aethograhor broke.  Real essential this information.

It is explained that Ivy and Tunstell eloped in a letter they left behind.  In a letter that’s supposed to be funny but it’s just cringy and embarrassing.

In the middle of dinner Maccon decides to change his granddaughter into a werewolf. Apparently this works by chewing through her neck and drooling into the gaping hole.

Hot

Despite this very tame display Alexia faints.

When she wakes up LeFoux and Maccon are there.  Sidheag was successfully changed into a werewolf hooray!

LeFoux explains that a lot of the symptoms Alexia is experiencing indicate that she is pregnant. Apparently SO FAR IN HISTORY a werewolf has yet to make someone preggorz.  

So Maccon assumes that she must have had an affair and wowzers, he has the granddaddy of all freakouts.

He swears a blue streak and accuses her of sleeping with other men in awful and cruel terms, he screams, and carries on and it’s described with this kind of language.

“He was quietly, white-faced, shivering angry.  And it was terribly, terribly frightening.”

“…But Alexia had never been actually afraid of him before. She was afraid of him now.”

“It was as though he’d placed the distance between them, not because he didn’t want to come at her and tear her apart, but because he really thought he might.”

LeFoux stands in a protective stance in front of Alexia at this time and is the only one who believes her when she claims she did not cheat on him.  Maccon runs out of there all dramatic style. Sidheag, in polite terms admittedly, tells her to get her slut butt out of there cause she has to support the pack.  Despite how Alexia convinced Maccon to make her a werewolf, stopped a violent person from tearing the pack to shreds, and got their werewolfism back. But okay sis, GO OFF!

Alexia leaves with LeFoux and her sister, and just stares longingly out the window hoping to see Maccon running toward them apologizing.

DAMN STORY!

DAMN!

I had a lot of mean shit to say about this story but that’s genuinely a good cliffhanger.  The whole pregnancy scare conflict doesn’t seem uncommon for het romance fiction but I think it can be used to good effect. This maybe a more ME specific thing, but I am a protective kind of person.  And this flares up hottest if a man is being shitty and unfair to a woman. So this I felt more viscerally.

Now this is objectively an awful fucking move on Maccon’s part. Like without a doubt he’s a garbage man, and he doesn’t get any kudos for NOT PHYSICALLY HURTING HER EVEN THOUGH THE TEXT PRETTY CLEARLY SAYS HE WANTED TO.

I think it’s kinda ridiculous that he NOT FOR A BRIEF FUCKING SECOND thought that either:

A.)    She may not actually be pregnant.  They’re just taking LeFoux’s word when she says she thinks the fainting and the trouble eating might mean pregnancy.

or

B.)    We just very clearly and very recently demonstrated that nobody knows jackshit about Soulless people and perhaps it is possible that a Soulless can bear a supernatural person’s child.

C.)    Since he’s without supernatural powers when they touch…and for pregnancy producing sex they had, they touched…soooooooo?

D.)   That if it was someone else that caused the pregnancy, MAYBE, it happened without her consent?  Real supportive there!  I mean at the beginning of this book his bff Channing seemed pretty primed to rape her. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

Like he didn’t consider any of these options for a half fucking second.  And instead just drops his pregnant wife like a sack of shit, to presumably raise a child on her own with only the help of the family that Maccon knows treats Alexia shitty.  Violently tore apart your great granddaughter and abandoned your unborn child on the same day.  IT’S NOT EVERY DAY WHERE YOU’RE BOTH THE SHITTEST DAD AND SHITTEST GREAT GRANDDAD!

Trying to have any sympathy for Maccon here is really undercut by the fact that Alexia bragged about being flirted with by a woman, just last chapter, and his inept jealous rage was played for laughs.  If we’re really trying to drive home the HURT Maccon must by the betrayal of cheating…maybe don’t poke fun of the possibility 10 pages ago?

Unlike a lot of similarly styled stories, I suppose it makes a modicum of sense that he fears she may have cheated though.  She’s literally spite-flirted before when she was mad at Maccon.  I.E with MacDougall last book.  She flirted with LeFoux throughout this book, not out of spite, but maybe out of ignorance cause she didn’t know two women could like kiss or whatever GOD.  She also was asking leading sexual questions regarding that pretty bag of dicks, Channing.

So at least she hadn’t shown 0 behaviors beforehand and he’s utterly convinced she’d drop him like a hot potato as soon as a another pretty face roamed into frame.

But I will say I am just not looking forward to how easily he’s going to be forgiven next book.  

Say something nice Faps:

Legit good cliffhanger. Color me pleasantly surprised.

Run away with LeFoux and raise your kids together.

Just kidding LeFoux is way too good for you.

#gorlmess #changless #riffing