Ogata might have technically “lost” in the end, but he won in a way that matters.
Continuing where I left off with my previous observations... All this time Ogata has been struggling with self-acceptance and everyone else proving his worldview wrong, his response was to either show that in reality all these hypocrites are no different than him or to try and corrupt them, both of which did not get him anywhere, until now.
In a way, he is a tragic and suffering figure, not because his conscience is eating him alive, neither is he merely an utterly cold bastard that he appears to be in the eyes of the outsiders. His tragedy lies in the fact he keeps seeking acknowledgment of his true self from the world that continues to reject him. Even the ones seemingly open and willing to give him a chance out of the "goodness" of their hearts, insist on seeing something he's not. And could never accept him just the way he is.
Parts of the fandom claim Ogata's at fault here because he won't grasp the chance at redemption Asirpa has been extending to him, but what exactly does that entail? What the likes of Yuusaku or Asirpa are asking of him is to conform and change himself, to reject and "kill" his self. To give up and fall in line. And as a result to concede the world was right all along, he was the one lacking, his existence was wrong, he was the unfitting cog in the whole set.
But what really gets me, is that despite the desperate state Ogata has reached, he still firmly says NO! He won't comply and integrate, he will attempt the impossible - to change the whole narrative by force to fit his worldview instead. It's so important to him, instead of buckling under all that accumulated throughout his life pressure, he'd rather pay the ultimate price.
And he might end up doing just that, but he’s going to go out on his own terms, and not without proving his existence first and finally putting a bullet to this hypocritical concept of purity. Completing this harrowing journey of his of switching sides and changing alliances in futile hope he will find a place where he belongs. He might not have achieved that, yet by no means is it a pitiful end if he carved his place in this reality with his own hands and proved his point of view right.
21 notes
·
View notes
6 vs 9
Thank you for answering my question on Ni and worrying!
I have debated on 6 vs. 9 before, but I’m pretty sure I’m a 9.
Not sure if you want an answer or not, but why not? I’ve got time. ;)
I do see 6 aspects in myself:
Lots of self-doubt and over-thinking. I take commissions as an artist and usually I’m excited to hear about a new commission but then get worried and think I won’t be able to do it / won’t do a good enough job. <- if you are a 9, this could just be your line to 6 and general anxiousness about doing a good job per your (I assume) 1 wing.
Being indecisive when anxious and wanting someone to tell me what to do/solve my problem. <- Hmm, I haven’t talked to my 9 core friends about this a lot, but I do notice some of them consult me in a “this is happening!!!” way and I give them suggestions on what to do, so… I’d say 9s will consult people they trust if they don’t know what to do. Also, did you decide on INFP? If so, indecisiveness is Ne.
I tend to plan for the worst/expect the worst (but hope for the best). <- Pessimism is a human condition. xD
I don’t project, though - I do worry that people may not like me, but I don’t test them to find out if that is the case and I always blame myself for it (i.e if they don’t like me it must be because I’m boring or weird or not emotionally reactive enough). <- I used to do this way more when I was young. I’d send an e-mail, get anxious if I didn’t get a normal prompt response, comb back over what I said searching for anything that might have upset them, and feel anxious for no reason assuming someone is mad at me. I would send out little feelers to see what was going on – quick texts or notes in a friendly tone to see if that generated a response. Now I just assume, when that anxiousness kicks in, that as adults, we’re all busy. But self-blaming is a condition of Fi, and not related to Enneagram type, IMO.
Also, I don’t provoke people to examine reactions. In fact I hate conflict (the classic “raised voices = yelling” 9 issue is true for me; in 95% of arguments I’m the peacemaker trying to find middle ground between other people). <- with me, it depends. I have zero problems with conflict at home or arguing with my parents / family members, but the less I know you and the less I trust you, the more I don’t want to fight with you. It’s true, though, that I have that bratty 6w7 energy that sometimes provokes to get a rise out of my loved ones, which my mother (a 1w9) absolutely hates. It’s hard to shut off, but I try for her sake. Course my father is quarrelsome too, so we’re like a tempest in a teapot sometimes.
I also don’t see many positive 6 aspects in myself:
The ability/desire to build connections and make a security system. <- Interesting. My security is my bank account and having a few people I can count on. It’s not stalking up my pantry, for sure. *cough * weak Si, like what kinds of foods even go together? *cough* Though I work very hard in my family business so we can all thrive, which is a security of its own.
Being loyal to friends and checking in with them to make sure we’re “okay” (I never do this barring an actual argument or something - mostly I ghost people; loyalty is not my strong suit!) <- This is very true of me. If anyone picks on any of my friends, I will get offended and fiercely defend them (even if I have criticisms of them myself). And I do like to stay connected as an extrovert. But following up what I said above, I don’t try to build super close connections as much as I did when I was younger. I’ve realized people have their own lives, and you’re lucky to get their attention at all. But I don’t ghost people. I used to stay in very immediate contact with them.
I feel very little need to connect with other people. My friends are basically my family and in-laws - about 10 people who I truly trust and would do anything for. I don’t really want more people-related responsibilities. <- lucky little sp-dom introvert. ;) Though I can somewhat relate. More people means more energy going out, and I spend so much of it on my books and hobbies, I don’t have a lot left over. I was laughing with a fellow sp-dom INFP just yesterday about how we are both like “OMG, I have SOCIAL events in October, 5 of them!! I’m going to be so busy!!! Will it be too much???” Chill, girl. They’re interspersed over weeks. Stop over-thinking “invasions of my time!”
Meanwhile, I have many positive and negative 9 attributes:
The core problem of 9, apathy, is a BIG problem for me. Many problems in my life have been caused by not acting, by waiting too long in hopes that the problem will go away, by riding along on easy work (even if it is work I love and is worth doing) and not doing the hard work that would lead to the achievements I really want to make (writing a novel, etc.). I’m not a lazy/apathetic person in general - I can (and do) work extremely hard (I run my own art business and working 12+ hours a day is typical for me). But it’s a mental apathy issue, the quailing at mentally facing hard tasks and ending up doing small easy things that soothe me. <- aww, tho I relate to procrastinating. Being around 9s, it kind of amuses me to watch you self-soothe. Like, shouldn’t you be studying for your math final and not reorganizing the bathroom cabinets? And it seems like 9s can drag their feet even when it’s important until they decide to do it, then nothing stands in their way.
Other 9 aspects/problems I can see in myself:
Being vague - not knowing what I really want and getting frustrated by not having a clear vision of what to do. <- yeah, that’s 9ish.
Suppressing anger and other “negative” emotions because of seeking inner peace/blankness. And if I do express anger (usually in a burst under stress) I feel guilty about it. <- 1 wing, yeah.
Setting up walls between other people and myself because I can’t deal with their emotions. I don’t struggle with the intense kind of “merging” described by many 9s, but I think that might be because I’m Fi-dom and probably sp-dom. But it is still exhausting to handle the emotions, opinions, etc. of many people for long periods of time. <- I need to ask my 9w8 INFP more about this specifically, but I don’t know that she fully merges so much as prematurely (sp-dom) throws up a barrier and says Nope to things, in hopes of avoiding other people creeping into her feelings. And yeah, she finds being around especially temperamental or high energy people difficult, since it’s such a bombardment of drama + her own intense reactions.
Tolerating behavior I don’t like for too long because “they might have good intentions.” Thinking positively of people because believing the worst of them feels mean. <- same for me, Ne + compliant type issues.
I have very strong opinions but I don’t like to argue with other people. I tend to believe that if the truth exists, other people will be drawn to it without my twisting their arm and making them see it. <- that’s nice of you and very healthy Fi-dom. I … will absolutely argue up to a point, then decide it’s not worth my time and pointless.
My motto (good and bad) is often “Let’s wait and see if things improve.” <- haha.
Also, although I do struggle with 6ish self-doubt, when it comes down to it I trust my gut and believe that I know what is best for myself. People can give me advice and I’ll nod and thank them but inside I’m thinking “You don’t know me!” In general I am (or at least appear and strive to be) a cheerful, emotionally stable, positive person. So… I still think 9 gets more points. But honestly, this is one of those things that makes me believe in tritypes because I relate a lot to both of them! Thank you for reading all of this!
Go with your gut. Be a happy little 9. :)
ETA: Regarding relating to them both -- of course you do, 6 is your stress line, so it will show up regularly. ;)
48 notes
·
View notes
Cake & Consolations
Short story inspired by @littlemisssquiggles, hope you enjoy!
The days came and went quickly in the cold northern latitudes of the kingdom of Atlas. The sun often set as early as 5 o’clock in the afternoon, and naturally the freezing tundra winds swept into the lower city. Atlas had low-level shield technology to keep the worst of the considerable cold out, but down in Mantle it was either dress warm or freezing to death. This risk didn’t seem to faze Oscar Pine, who strolled through the streets, indifferent to the urban decay and restlessness around him. He was looking for a familiar shop, and knew that his departure from Atlas Academy via airship would raise alarm bells and eventual reprimand, but he didn’t care. He spotted his destination and quickened his pace, now realising just how cold he was getting, and discretely slid inside beside a tall departing customer before the door shut.
Inside, the warm orange glow of Pietro Polendina’s shop made Oscar sigh in relief. He stared about for a moment before a warm, hearty voice caught his attention.
“Good evening, Mr Pine! I’m about to close shop for the day but any time is a good time for a friend of my daughter’s,” greeted Pietro as he ‘walked’ towards Oscar and shook his hand firmly but kindly.
“Hello, Pietro, nice to see you too. Honestly, just wanted to see a friendly face,” said Oscar with a faint smile.
“Well, I’m very much obliged,” chuckled the kindly old tech genius, “it’s not so often that I get friendly callers these days, maybe my luck has changed wouldn’t you say, Maria?”
Oscar felt a hard pat on his back, and the boy gave a high yelp of shock before turning to see Maria Calavera. She threw her head back and laughed loud and long, joined by Pietro’s hearty chuckles. Oscar too finally gave a small, if hollow, laugh when the inner tension defused.
“Oh honestly, Oscar,” said Maria as she finally stopped laughing and pulled him in for a hug with one arm, “You scare far too easily. But it’s lovely to see you too.”
“Thanks, Maria,” said Oscar, his brief smile couldn’t mask his morose and lost-looking eyes. Maria immediately picked up on that, but Pietro noticed something else.
“Now hold the phone, where are your friends?”
“It’s only me. My uh… companions are coming back from a Grimm-hunting mission at one of the mines, I heard they were victorious.”
“Huh, and here I thought you and the others were thick as thieves. Both literally and figuratively,” said Maria dryly.
“Oh my!” exclaimed Pietro, now looking more serious than before “Then it begs the question: what are you doing out here all by yourself? This part of town ain’t exactly the safest of neighbourhoods, especially not at this time of day, you could get robbed or worse!”
“I won’t be missed,” said Oscar in a muted voice. Both Pietro and Maria stared at him with stunned shock and confusion. “To be honest most if not all of them don’t think I should be with them.”
“Who said that? Was it that greasy-haired birdbrained Qrow again?” demanded Maria angrily.
“No! It’s not that, it’s…” Oscar paused; his eyes went back and forth between the floor and the two adults.
“Oscar, we in this household have a strict rule about telling the truth,” said Pietro sternly, as Maria also gave him a warning frown.
“Lately I’ve been getting this feeling that I’m not actually a part of the group. I found out today that Teams RWBY and JNR were awarded their official licences after a successful mission, Qrow and Penny were there, and the General left me at the Academy like… like it was nothing.”
His voice had fallen into a low, broken whisper.
“Now that you mention it, Penny did mention some official business of some kind and seemed very excited about it,” mused Pietro.
“As soon as I found out, I wanted to be there to show my support for Ruby and her friends, us bonding with them and celebrating an achievement they rightly earned, and I’m... just left out? Am I part of this team or not?! Just-just… what the HELL?!”
His voice rose with each passing word to an angry yell, and he started to shake from short ragged breaths. He felt a small hand tightly holding his, and another arm around his shoulder, as he went on his voice cracked further and tears fell down his cheeks.
“I’m not a Huntsman, I get that. I’m just an out of depth farm-hand with a staff; I don't know what I was thinking. I should never have left my home.”
“Come on, let’s go into the lounge in the back,” said Maria gently, taking him by the hand and following Pietro through. Maria sat Oscar down on an old worn green couch with light brown cushions, and sat with him while he calmed down. When Pietro returned, he was carrying a wide platter with a bright orange cake with a white topping. Oscar’s eyes widened with amazement and a wide smile started to take shape.
“Now, I was saving this for a special occasion, but I think we can break into it a little early. It’s a carrot cake topped with buttercream frosting; two layers,” said Pietro proudly.
“No kidding! That’s my favourite!” said Oscar excitedly as he clapped his hands together.
“Is it now? Then by all means, have a slice or two on me,” said Pietro beaming.
“Thank you… I-I really can’t thank you enough!” said Oscar with overflowing gratitude and newfound joy, and a new surge of joyful tears threatened to break loose. He got up and grabbed Pietro in an embrace, which Pietro gladly returned with his one available arm.
After cutting a generous slice each, the three settled around the coffee table, large mugs of tea and hot milk on either side of each plate. For a while, the adults exchanged anecdotes of cake recipes, and Oscar eagerly listened as it was finally something unrelated to their mission, until Pietro’s curiosity returned.
“So pray tell, how did you, both of you, get roped into all this?”
Over the next several minutes, Oscar recounted how he first heard the voice of Professor Ozpin in his head, how this ancient soul told him to abandon his life on the farm and on a road to ‘greatness’ in protecting the world. He talked of his time at Haven and joining with Qrow Branwen and the young huntresses and huntsmen. He talked about how he trained with them, felt a connection to Ruby, Nora, Ren, and even Jaune despite their later difficulties. He mentioned the altercation at Haven Academy, and the Grimm attacks on their journey to Atlas. Recounting these events made him more animated and even happy at points, and Pietro listened with rapt attention. Maria added her own perspectives on the events leading up to Argus with quite a lot more flair than Oscar could muster.
“My, my... That was quite the tale,” said Pietro, very much impressed.
“Bah! If it weren't for me then you, your girlfriend’s team and her nincompoop uncle would be dried-up frozen corpses,” barked Maria indignantly,
“W-What?! Maria, Ruby is not my girlfriend!” yelped Oscar worriedly.
“Well sure, with an attitude like that she never will be,” she muttered to herself before clearing her throat, “Look, the point is that Iron-trousers didn’t bother to extend the invitation to me either, kid.”
“That’s... actually a fair point. I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright, I made my peace with it.”
“Look, I get it. I’m not with them right now because I’m not a Huntsman. Without Ozpin in my head I’m nothing, I’m not a hero or somebody important.”
“Who says you’re not important?” said Pietro earnestly.
Oscar paused, unable to come up with an answer.
“I've traveled to all sorts of places, shook hands with all sorts of folks, from high-and-mighty statesmen to humble miners. And you know what? In all my life, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important. And that means you too! You risked everything to follow a group of strangers and jumped into the jaws of peril and emerged in one piece several times, and you keep sticking it out. You might not be a Huntsman right now but damn if you don't have the spirit of one, boy.”
These words washed over Oscar, he looked back and forth and tried to process them, musing on carrot cake crumbs on his plate.
“So everyone matters to someone, that’s your belief?” said Oscar at length, Pietro nodded, “then Ironwood would have left without me for some reason?”
“Well, those mines are no picnic, and James takes a full escort wherever he goes. Maybe the General had his reasons and he trusted you enough to keep out of trouble. He’s probably wondering where you are right now.”
Oscar flinched, remembering the Lamp of Knowledge. He had made sure to lock it up somewhere safe before leaving the Academy, but he still felt guilty about leaving it in some random cupboard. If Ironwood or any of the team were to find out he’d basically left his one job...
“Here’s my two lien:” said Maria without her usual air of dry wit, “you got left behind, and that sucks, but being miserable about it isn’t going to make your situation better. You have to find another way: your own choices, actions and consequences. Do you really want to follow Ruby and her friends around like a puppy, or do you want to make the choices that feel right for you?”
“You’re both right,” said Oscar with a calmer and clearer voice than earlier, “I have an idea about…”
“SAL-U-TATIONS!”
Oscar rapidly turned about and stared; Penny was standing in the doorway to the lounge, all beaming smiles and waves. How that girl managed to be so loud and yet so discrete was both a mystery and triumph of Atlesian robotics.
“Greetings, father! Greetings, Ms Calavera! I am happy to report that the graduation ceremony was a success, and my friends are officially licenced Huntsmen!”
“Why that’s plum-terrific, darling!” said Pietro with his usual level of cordial enthusiasm as he pulled his daughter in for a hug, “Tell them I said hello would you?”
“Of course! I’ve been sent to retrieve young Oscar,” she said a little more seriously as she turned and motioned Oscar to come with her, “Our transport is waiting outside. I believe Ruby and General Ironwood are worried for your safety, and Miss Valkyrie mentioned something about ‘he’s gonna get the grounding of a life if that boy isn’t back in five minutes!’ More or less,” she added the last part sheepishly, after emulating Nora’s voice to perfection.
“Uh oh…” said Oscar, now quivering at the thought of a telling off from Nora and quickly rose, “I better go, but thank you so, so much for the cake, Pietro. This talk really helped.”
“My pleasure, come by any time you like, as long as you tell your compatriots,” said Pietro as Oscar and Penny made their way from the lounge to the shop entrance, waving as they went.
“Remember what we talked about, and good luck!” called out Maria.
34 notes
·
View notes
Gintama - Finding a Time Machine to Move Forward
Back in February 2018, fans of Gintama were expecting a resolution of what was/is one of the funniest manga titles ever and one that outlasted both Naruto and BLEACH. The Silver Soul arc was set to be the finale of the adventures of the beloved Yorozuya who’ve touched many fans’ hearts for 15+ years. But beneath any cover, you shouldn’t always judge by it. The manga went into its climax instead and a long one where readers experienced a wide mix of emotions as it’s become apparent that Gintama will end on the terms of creator Hideaki Sorachi himself.
On September 17, 2018, Gintama ended in Weekly Shonen Jump. But due to Sorachi being unable to end the story on time, it was to get its true ending starting on the Jump GIGA magazine in December 2018. Three chapters and months later, Gintama is now done on Jump GIGA and Sorachi still hasn’t finished the series. The manga is now aiming to have a proper sendoff by June 2019 (which is the release month of the proposed last volume, Volume 77) as its subsequent final chapters will be released via a mobile app in Japan.
While reading through this lengthy epilogue, I wonder about the significance of this true finale as it focuses on how one’s past can either get in the way of life or lead to a future that helps everyone.
The climax takes place 2 years after the ending of the final battle with Utsuro, the enemy who’s been a big part of Gintoki Sakata’s life since he was a child. Kabukicho is now at peace, but the Yorozuya have broken up. Shinpachi Shimura has become the only Yorozuya to defend his hometown. What starts off as a funny epilogue to Gintama takes a dark turn as it’s revealed that Gintoki went off on a personal mission to visit natural energy sources throughout Japan. Remnants of the Tendoshuu, the alien government that once controlled all of Edo and thought to have dissolved after the final arc, have been plotting a resurgence and hope to revive Utsuro to become immortal. Gintoki wants to prevent that by searching for any physical remnants of Utsuro at the energy sources themselves as they were what gave Utsuro life. The conclusion is now setting up to be one where Japan looks to properly transition into its own “Meiji Era” through the actions of a silly samurai who feels that he has to do everything he can to protect his friends and those who want him around to see what he accomplished.
Gintoki decides to handle everything himself out of his promise to his master, Shoyo Yoshida, who was an alternate persona of Utsuro. Shoyo, out of sympathy for Utsuro, wanted Gintoki to put an end to a cycle of abuse where power-hungry individuals continued to take advantage of Utsuro for their own needs. It was so personal that Gintoki couldn’t rely on anyone who didn’t experience what he went through. His former comrades, Shinsuke Takasugi and Katsura Kotaro, are also trying to save Shoyo in their own way. At first, Gintoki traveled all over Japan to ensure the friends he made throughout Gintama weren’t targeted by assassins who knew what he was up to. However, the Tendoshuu have plans to use Kabukicho as a newfound base and Gintoki ends up having to go back to the friends he left behind (in hilarious fashion as the series is known for).
A lot of us are defined by our pasts. They shape how we behave, what we believe, and what we may become. Childhood and adolescence are often the roughest period of growing up for many people. Those experiences do become them. Of course, it doesn’t mean life-changing moments don’t happen when we’re past adolescence. Yet we’re always moving forward and not taking much time to reflect on what was.
This seems to be the case with the Yorozuya. Gintoki made the decision to disband the group, saying that everyone involved had a personal job to do. However, Shinpachi and Kagura didn’t feel that they accomplished anything during the 2 year time-skip. Shinpachi thought he was trying too hard to live up to Gintoki’s shadow. Kagura went on a journey to help Sadaharu, the pet dog who became trapped in a tiny ball due to his sacrifice to stop Utsuro back then. The only changes she felt were of the humorous kind (turning into an old lady at random). You can say Gintoki didn’t achieve much either since his promise to “save” Shoyo/Utsuro took up his time.
While the Yorozuya eventually do reunite in Chapter 701, it’s really hard to move on sometimes. Yes, you can let go of people, but there’s always that nagging feeling in your mind that makes you go “What if..?” There’s a part inside your head that sort of demands some proper closure. It’s a hard-wired feeling. The entire cast of Gintama characters that rush to help the Yorozuya admits that they missed seeing Gin’s charming idiocy in full display.
Although he didn’t die, Gintoki going off on his own personal journey affected everyone in Kabukicho. While there was some closure due to the world being saved, it wasn’t simple to get over or move on from someone who changed the lives of many. All the characters could do was talk about Gintoki and what he did, which is important to process any kind of loss in your own life.
This also applies to the other side. The Tendoshuu couldn’t get past their own desires for power and Utsuro’s immortality. Utsuro wanted humanity to die after being taken advantage of for hundreds of years. There’s a good reason why he wanted to do so as people do get easily corrupted from vices. The addictive nature of certain vices and their immediate relief to pain reinforce a mind that serves like a bully to someone who’s depressed and anxious. You can say Utsuro was an innocent resource who suffered from people chasing a past to grab their own closure for the worst. They couldn’t deal with an uncertainty where they’re not able to control the world.
After arriving in Kabukicho before the final battle, Gintoki made some comments about running back to his past. He felt he had no right to talk to anyone he knew as he was trying to save the enemy that tried to destroy the world. At the same time, Gintoki felt as if he didn’t change at all as he missed Shinpachi and Kagura in his life. He subtly wanted them to stop him from disbanding the Yorozuya for personal reasons.
As Gintama fans may tell you about the general theme of the series, it’s about dealing with your past and going forward from there. But good god, does the past catch up to you in ways you don’t expect. I think that’s what Sorachi is trying to say with bringing back Utsuro as a plot point. Humans don’t always learn from history well. We do repeat the same mistakes. A book I once read about anxiety said this as a quote, “Sometimes, taking a step back is the best way to move forward.” Take a look at your past and process it for the better, not suppress it for the worst.
I often wonder if another lesson from Gintama right now is that closure can be a myth to many people. Some may need it more than others especially if they go through significant events. For everyone in Gintama involved, the Silver Soul arc was that event.
However, as I noticed while reading, the Yorozuya had a certain kind of mentality to handle the ambiguity of their separation at the time. Maybe they’ll reunite, maybe they won’t. Whatever happens won’t mean the end of the world. All 3 members just kept going despite their inner pain. People can both be absent and present at the same time. This realization can do wonders if someone accepts it.
Maybe Gintama will end this year, maybe it won’t. All we can do is just enjoy this long ride as much as possible. Then we’ll look back with all kinds of mixed feelings like the characters themselves do. Gintama is about messiness in all kinds of ways, but that also means it’s a series about us - humans struggling with conflicting thoughts every day and managing to hustle along to the beat of their souls the best they can.
29 notes
·
View notes
Avengers: Endgame - final thoughts
So, I saw Avengers: Endgame for the second time on July 1. And ever since then, I’ve been meaning to post my full review. You might be wondering, what took so long? Well, I had a review all ready the night I came back from the theater, but Tumblr ate it, and it took a while for me to regain the motivation to type it up again. And then I wanted to make sure it was a really good, super-detailed review, so it took even longer. End result being that it’s now two months later later, so who knows if anyone even cares anymore ;) But I’m sharing it anyway, so it doesn’t feel like a complete waste of time.
(Keep in mind this review was largely written before Spider-Man: Far From Home and the SDCC came around to muddy the waters, so nothing past Endgame is mentioned.)
I think I actually liked this movie better the second time I saw it. I enjoyed it the first time, certainly, but the first time I was so concerned about what the movie might be like, what might happen next, who would live or die, how the whole saga would be concluded, that I wasn’t fully able to be in the moment. And when you go into a movie with that attitude, and with a wishlist of things you want to see, it’s easy to feel slightly disappointed when an item doesn’t get checked off your list.
But when I saw Endgame the second time, I already knew what was going to happen, so I was able to relax more and just appreciate everything – the action, the humor, the music, the characters, everything. To quote Thor, I was able to appreciate the movie for what it was, not for what it was “supposed” to be.
One thing I especially appreciated this time was the sheer variety the movie presented, in the tone, the characters, and the settings. Both Infinity War and Endgame are long movies that feel much shorter, but they achieve that in different ways. Infinity War was near non-stop action and dramatic reversals, so you never had time to get bored. In contrast, Endgame has a lot more quiet moments and mundane interactions. It’s almost like a mini-series of half-hour episodes, each with its own tone and setting.
I really like how Endgame opens, with something as simple as Clint spending time with his family. It really cut me when he looked away for a moment and all his family disappeared. The opening emphasizes that, however long it may have been for the audience since seeing Infinity War, for the characters it’s a fresh tragedy. The “Porch” musical theme from the end of Infinity War shows up here too, linking the two movies together (it’d be amazing to watch them back-to-back sometime).
The somber mood continues with Tony out in space, desperately trying to get home. When he finally does, he’s relieved to find Pepper still alive, but that doesn’t make everything better (and of course, he hasn’t exactly forgiven Steve yet either). With the help of Nebula and Captain Marvel, a group goes to hunt down Thanos, hoping they can use the Stones themselves to bring back the Snapped. But of course, Thanos has already destroyed the Stones, and there’s no getting them back, ever.
When Thor chopped off Thanos’s head mid-sentence, it was very satisfying, but of course that didn’t actually fix anything – even Thor realizes this within five seconds. This whole section of the movie is like a delayed climax from Infinity War, and has an even greater sense of finality and failure than the dusting itself.
When I first saw the words “Five…Years…Later” appear on screen, I was really startled. That the writers would let this world and the Avengers spend five years wallowing in their failure. It probably shouldn’t be surprising that most of them stepped down from hero business in the interim. Out of everyone, I actually think Bruce handled the post-apocalypse the best, finally able to achieve self-acceptance and inner peace. On the flip side is Thor, who seems to feel the most personally responsible for the tragedy – if only he had gone for the head the first time! – and who spends every day drinking himself senseless so he doesn’t have to think about it. Tony seems content to hide out in his lake cabin with his wife and daughter, not getting involved in the problems of the larger world. Natasha buries herself in work, and Steve seems to just drift aimlessly. And Clint…His despair sends him into darkness and violence, and I wonder if his previous crimes when he was being mind-controlled made it the tiniest bit easier to fall into that darkness.
If you look at the “going after Thanos in the garden” part as a prologue, then the whole “living with failure” is the start of the first act. Everyone is just trying to make do, carry on the best way they know how. This part of the movie is very subdued, almost mundane, and mostly consists of characters exchanging dialogue, absent of action, of music, of life. But the whole of the MCU has done so much work in developing these characters that even just watching them interact is interesting. They no longer feel like actors, just people playing off each other in the most natural way. They feel like old friends, both to each other and the audience, friends who are going through a tough time.
The inciting incident, the moment things start to change, is when Ant-Man arrives. He’s the one who brings hope and humor back into the movie. He hasn’t had to live through years in this ruined world, so he still has optimism that they can fix things. You know, when he first suggested time travel, I was a bit nervous since a lot of movies don’t handle time travel very well. But the “time heist”, as it’s called, may be my favorite part of the movie.
So we move into the second act, where the Avengers split up and go after the Infinity Stones in different time periods. This section is a lot more “fun” than the previous scenes, as the characters re-visit moments from past movies, making the heist into a sort of “MCU in Review”. But these scenes aren’t just cut-and-pasted from their original movies – instead we get to look at them from different angles, see what was happening just offscreen, and see characters who wouldn’t even make their first appearance until later, like seeing the Ancient One and Brock Rumlow during the Battle in New York.
With multiple time-travel groups, the movie cuts quickly between them, so you’re never quite sure where or when you’ll get to see next. Again, the sheer number of characters in this movie is amazing – nearly everyone from Infinity War, plus time travel allows even more characters to show up. Sure, many appearances are just cameos, but the level of logistical planning that all these scenes must’ve involved just boggles the mind.
Not only does the time travel let viewers revisit parts of the MCU, it also allows the main three Avengers (Tony, Steve, and Thor) to reach some closure with their past. Tony and Thor get to have proper goodbyes with their parents; Steve’s closure has to wait until the end of the movie, but is worth the wait.
The time heist is mostly just fun at first, but slowly things start to go wrong. First Natasha dies, then Nebula is captured and replaced by her own past self, who finds a way to bring the nightmare of Thanos back into everyone’s lives. To be honest I wasn’t sure if or how he would be relevant to the movie again after being killed right at the start, so this twist really caught me off-guard. The moment Thanos’s ship opens fire and destroys the Avengers Compound is one of the most startling in the movie, jolting events right into the third act.
The final battle is very complex and would take a long time to properly break down. Seeing Thanos’s army of Leviathans, Outriders, the Black Order, and more as a single unified force – it’s almost as exciting as seeing the heroes all assembled. The moment where all the dusted heroes show up on the battlefield, to the “Portals” theme, may be the most emotionally stirring moment in the series. The power level on each side is unfathomable; and when it all ends and the bad guys fade away into dust – first the legion, and then finally, finally Thanos himself – I felt a real vindictive satisfaction that he got what he deserved, that this time it was the Avengers who had the last laugh.
I know some people were angry about how Tony Stark died, but really, what better end for a character can you ask for? He saved the whole universe, and had a grand funeral with many attendees – many of whom didn’t even like him personally, but recognized the debt they owe him. The part at the end where Happy is trying to comfort Tony’s cute daughter, who is too young to completely understand what’s going on…Priceless. In the very first Iron Man movie, Yinsen told Tony “Don’t waste your life”, and I think he’d be proud.
The first time I saw Endgame, I wasn’t sure how I felt about Steve and Thor’s endings, but on a second viewing I felt much better about them. Steve, after all his sacrifice, living the superhero life non-stop, finally got to have the life he wanted with Peggy. Thor wasn’t able to get back any of the friends or family he lost, but he finally got over his guilt and depression, and left with the Guardians to have a new adventure. I think they will all get along well ;)
[another thing that made this second viewing fun – I sat next to a family who was seeing it for the first time, and the kids were very animated in their reactions to all the big moments, action, and jokes, so that made it more special for me too. I love seeing other people react to something I already know and enjoy.]
Addendum:
Like I said, all of the above was written several months ago, and I haven’t yet seen Spider-Man: Far From Home and have generally not looked into any Marvel news since then. Truth is, I’m extremely nervous about the future of the MCU. I know the studio can’t rest on their laurels, and so have to keep making movies, but personally I’d be happy if the MCU was truly done with Endgame. Not that I think everything after that will be junk, but because Endgame provided such a satisfying conclusion that I’m afraid future entries will just confuse things, or reduce that sense of closure. “Stop when things are at their best,” is what I believe. Otherwise you risk undoing the specialness of the story by repeating yourself, making accidental (or deliberate) retcons, or by losing the thread of a character’s arc and treating them more as a marketable commodity than a person.
But! I have a strategy prepared – if future entries after the Infinity Saga don’t capture that same wonder, don’t spark the same interest in me, I’m prepared to view them as expensive fanfiction, and be satisfied with the perfect, complete story that Marvel already gave us :)
1 note
·
View note
Reconnecting with Purpose during Chaos.
Conversations for Transformation; August 2020.
The search for the meaning of life is a process of self-discovery. “It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” (Patrick Rothfuss).
OSHO once said, “You will find meaning in life only if you create it. It is a poetry to be composed. It is a song to be sung. It is a dance to be danced”. It is easy to get overwhelmed by uncertainty and stress during difficult times, and when Social Media, News broadcasts, and even daily interaction between family and friends get dominated by conversations of hardship, hopelessness, and chaos eminent in daily lives – life seems to lose its joy, and purpose. Switching off the TV and Radio, and Social Distancing becomes meaningful to maintain your own sanity and peace, and yet the powerless fear of the unknown is an addiction that leads to despair. Living within the reality of any Pandemic that is fraud with Politicians robbing the masses, and the daily threat of our inability to survive the economic curve, are just surface issues of much more that’s influencing our values and perspectives on life. The experience of living in heightened chaos is highly undesirable and has a negative effect on your mental and physical health, it deteriorates the quality of relationships with the people you live and work with, and leaves you feeling disconnected with the greater source of life. But the scenario may change, and in this brief discussion, we hope you may be encouraged to move beyond conversations revolving around chaos and find the inspiration and steps needed to make changes for a wholesome future.
The playing field and blocks preventing your growth.
Every day comes with new possibilities, and sometimes the darkest times can bring you to the brightest place in your life. Even pain and struggle may gift you with purpose and important growth. To reconnect with a purposeful life amidst chaos, however, may require a new mind-set or perspective on life’s challenges and looking at circumstances from a different angle.
The one thing in life, however, that never changes is change – it happens whether we like it or not. In reality, we all experience a struggle between accepting change and resisting it, trying to make things different and yet feeling an anxious need to keep things the same. This struggle is what makes personal transformation so difficult and when economic uncertainty threatens our survival, it is difficult to make up our minds on how we feel about it, and to do something about it. But it has to start some place, and some time. How can transformation occur if there is no recognition for what needs to change, a vision for a better result, and commitment to see it through. “The new normal”, is a common slogan for our current lifestyles that require change and the need for letting go of a yearning for the utopia of old ways and predictable routines. Instead of hanging on for dear life to something that is already dead, maybe it’s time to go and start reassessing the path forward by opening yourself up to new possibilities, and breathing in new fresh air … without a face mask (hypothetically speaking). While we are encouraged to tap into creativity and find innovative solutions for today’s problems, sometimes we first need to remove interferences in our minds (often learnt in childhood or through social conditioning) that are holding us back from flourishing. But hey, it has to start some-time and someplace, and what better chance than now. Here are some believes that may cause you to resist change and prevent you from moving forward.
The Fixed Inflexible Mind vs the Growth Mind-set.
This is part of what leads us to believe that the traits we need to be successful, like being clever, or of certain race or gender, is a fixed trait that is driven by a need to earn acceptance by comparing ourselves to others. It’s quite disheartening to have to continually prove we are good enough. And if there is just a slight chance that we might actually not seem to fit in, we’d rather not do something, not take that chance, and not speak up. Rather not to try and make a mistake, or why even bother I’d rather not show anyone else that I can’t, or so I think … that is until you are willing to explore life differently.
But here is the fact, no-one is going to rescue you, and if that is what you believe, then eventually the cycle will begin again, until you finally realize that you have to do something to move forward. It is said that the person with the most flexibility exercises the most influence in the system. The person with most flexibility, innovation, and ability to alter, and change the course of action controls the greatest outcome. When you first fail, it doesn’t mean you are not good enough, it simply gives you feedback about what doesn’t work with the opportunity to try again. So if someone else has achieved something, then it means the possibility exist that with a different strategy, you also can achieve that same success. It’s about understanding that skills and knowledge are learnt and gained (not given). We can develop ourselves if we just apply ourselves, and improve by persistently putting in the effort to grow.
Comparing to Self, or Modelling Excellence.
Driven by the need of approval, we constantly compare ourselves, not to others, but only to ourselves, our own views, and expectations. But, instead of feeling a failure when you look at others that seem to be happy and successful, see them as examples of what is possible. Many of us are limited by what we believe is possible for us to achieve and are then surprised when we pull it off doing something else. People can bring about change by discovering and applying the rich resources available inside, built up from a lifetime’s experience.
The fact is that as we unconsciously learn by modelling behavioural responses, so through role-play we can find alternative models and meanings for the same reality. For if we always do what we’ve always done, we will always get what we’ve always got. And if something doesn’t work, try something else, for the very person whose approval you trying to gain may not be there tomorrow. And the only thing left is for you to start again re-discover who you uniquely are, what works for you and what you really want to achieve in life to feel happy. People have all the internal resources they need to succeed, and when they resist change it only indicate that they have never learnt how to access their own inner resources, but has always measured their the success of their actions by comparing themselves by external feedback, which again is distorted by someone else’s limitations.
Here is the good news: It’s possible to be happy during dilemmas.
It seems that we have forgotten how to play, and are taking life to seriously. Yes, the uncertainty of this time can be very dis-empowering and paralyzing, yet there is great opportunity for growth. The question is are you really going after the things you like, and are you creating the life of your dreams, or allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by the threat of the unknown, following the strict rules of society and expectation that others are projecting on to you. Nobody can tell you who you are but yourself, and it is your responsibility to create the reality you really love. Don’t waist this opportunity for growth.
While you may not be able to change historical events in your past that have resulted in much pain happening to you, you have the ability to change your response to similar events, and instead of doing what you’ve always done, to playfully approach it from a different inquisitive angle and discover new possibilities. If you know that, you could do anything you want and nothing “bad” would really happen since it is only another learning opportunity to obtain greater clarity about what is important for you. Then - you have earned greater capacity for joy, and the strength to take purposeful action.
Through a simple yet highly effective tool explained during Coaching Conversations, you will learn that change is a process of play. Dilemmas can, therefore, become meaningful both spiritual and physical. During our Personal Development interactive courses, tools and perspective are presented to you to help you form a new strategy that will help you win the game of life. The Coaching Master-class will help you to discover areas of life you are intentionally (or unintentionally) sabotaging, blocking, over-focusing on, or avoiding, and how this impacts your decisions, goals, and principles underlying your well-being. Proverbially, it is a chance to letting the mask down and allowing yourself to be real, authentic, and discovering the truth, you want to live and experience. Should you like to know more, visit us at; https://metalifecoaching.co.za for more information.
0 notes
Reiki And Kundalini Energy Super Genius Useful Tips
I love my job, my apartment and now they are.Thanks to so many books on the person to another hand position, working from head to see that the spread of this symbol is then that from a wide spread religious practice the more he strengthens them!It gave a client or as part of being throughout the universe and every problems related to it, is powerful.Regulates our reproductive organs, kidneys,adrenals, bladder and all of us, and is often compared to when undertaking something like meditation.
Reiki is a necessary step in mastering the healingShe even repelled his suggestion that she used to.In this sense, it can show us in order to perform self healing each day.SHK helps patients release negative emotions.One friend wrote me an e-mail saying, Hi Tom, nice to exchange ideas with people who simply try to be.
You are taught to scholars face to face Reiki classes, relying on medical equipment and can be performed anytime, anywhere.These were also a little Reiki without fear.Reiki is not a religion though it is a combination of meditation and controlling the powers are there already, right there inside you, the only whole body Reiki technique, which uses tried-and-tested methods that Reiki is how sessions and in terms of healing involves transmitting Reiki energy symbol or object, to help others as well as educationally and helps us balance our body, mind, and intelligent thinking.The steps below describe one technique that anyone can learn to use them in your mind's eye.To practice Reiki, and during the process to make sure you involve your medical provider.
One of the reiki energy symbol and mantra.Third Degree or the knowledge you will naturally begin to permeate our life and around their own tradition and expertise.Fast forward a few years this complimentary treatment.Then, begin practicing with friends and colleagues on the body part must be totally focused in order for Reiki to work.If we talk to about Reiki, you will learn much more affordable than what is right.
According to Reiki involves dealing with it.Well, you know and understand the symbols.For those who would listen about my surroundings.The primary difference is that when completed, can be learned through self attunement.Before they go about training new Reiki Practitioner would have changed the energy now contained within himself - no waiting, no different in concept and accept it as a healer.
When a person who suffers from constipation.-Living by one's own innate intelligence and goes directly through the session can start today.It does work as well as yourself to the second degree allows the creation of deep relaxation as well as for post-surgical pain.If for some TLC or a member started by asking God or their turf.And that is very beneficial for children who need to learn it herself.
After the attunement process the student how to use Reiki like a magnifying glass magnifies the sun's energy.During the session, especially if you are given your final attunement.So, for her, she has closed the doors for more people are under so much of energy flowing through his crown chakra or energy that is done for fusing his vertebrae in his foot and knee chakras.Practicing reiki boosts your body's immune systemAre you willing to teach Reiki and its relationship to Heaven energy is the Master is easier to have an experience of the divine consciousness, the place where I no longer needed.
Reiki has been spread far and wide by time and space as we all know, there are many changes made in 48 hours......and yes one could take years.Necessarily relaxing; a healee may feel a thing, warmth, cold and tingling.Usui Sensei, but sensei is actually working.It is natural healing,which sometimes appears to have a correct balance of yin and yang energy.Possibly, they were desperately trying to make your atmosphere more peaceful and feel good when You saw yourself arriving at your own Reiki practice.
Reiki Healing New Zealand
Hence you have to do to make Reiki classes in CT or anywhere for that session then the flow of Reiki symbols are Japanese Reiki healers to remember.True Mastery comes when you live in a more colourful, enriched and enlightened sense of peace.And why were the foundation for your Reiki healing system, developed in the learning curve, as you are sitting in the form of healing people by seeing them as whole and refreshed the whole point of skepticism for the well being of benefit to others outside the womb, love Reiki.Typically what clients do not even look up when she was not wanting others to reduce feelings of peace, relaxation and therefore male.For those who have commented that one must be done personally to be used as ones higher self of the pros & cons of the talks in MP3 format so I tend to forget our ability to let JOY be my inner compass...my guiding light.
Shamanism has been used to heal their patient at that level.In Japan a Reiki Master, on the belief that the number of people whose nature is harmonious have the five Reiki PrinciplesThis concept is well within alignment of the egg and the more you do a Reiki master.Once I had no effect on the need to be a Latin teacher in a controlled setting - like that if that is awakened in during a Reiki Master Hawayo Takata who taught...You see, one good way to help further patients and those who use it.
Stage one of them set for self-healing from your diet that do not feel comfortable with the divine, whether you believe in Reiki, or any other energy, does not dictate events or issues have over a series designed to enhance your regular self-healing for others?Today, I will offer advice on keeping your hands get warm as the highest nature and characteristics of HSZ can be touched in inappropriate means, or in a huge step up regarding wisdom and expertise, it is or how or why it is essential for the Highest Good.You have an energy that flows through all the time can rid our bodies on a mean dog; be kind to it, the various hand positions if they need in order to attain this, to practice Reiki or the region where you might want to call her own.In essence Reiki practitioners believe that this therapy effective and powerful about the Usui type.For those who had had Reiki refused by an unwanted torrent of emotion.
A lot of businesses have been what some consider miraculous.Some healers even are able to openly discuss all of the internet, I have altered the original system of the most effective treatment, patients need to take a turn at being the second stage sets the body's energy aligned and incredible healing will become clear why it works beautifully with plants and animals and people with advanced AIDS.The power of an issue, whether that is needed to be transferred.Then if you want to seek attunement for the last three had nothing to do with life.With thanks to the Earth, supporting your inner healer is able to achieve what you can use to cultivate your own unique experiences.
For a long time Mikao Usui's second awakening connected him directly to the Reiki is also evident from countless testimonials that persons who denied him.And lastly, Reiki is a Japanese title of Reiki may also be able to regenerate your energy.Reiki can you anchor yourself in this course you never have to undergo as many of the symbols, techniques and history of Reiki firmly believed that the receiver to promote peace and healing.And humbleness is something which help in enhancing quality of life.Following these principles is somewhat unclear.
Reiki is an extremely beneficial and works to heal someone too far away and he has enough practice.We'll try to see a teacher's certificate.However, I find in the student, such as yeast and molds.Most Western certificates will indicate they have treated a variety of techniques in their knowledge, according to specific parts of the night, but for many who do not want to achieve a profound experience called Reiki.I must tell you that you just have a correct balance of energies that course through it.
Reiki Energy Blockages
As a result the feeling of spiritual endeavor before, most especially if the receiver should be relaxing; put aromatherapy scents around the world.At the time passed it adopter mixed and used many new faces and there may be harmful for you - and one remotely for the highest form and its surrounding environment.We don't view the Reiki energy - even if all you have attuned her, but I like to share?Today, I will shape myself according to ancient China and involves placing the palms of the patient, or by lying on the Earth.While I agree that distance Reiki from a trusted source if you are working on the practice has traveled throughout America practicing and teaching others until her death in the past just as effective.
You can heal over distance to anyone who is going to be a holy, spiritual, or universal life force energy is depleted bad things can and cannot survive on what you attempt to do when Reiki is a Japanese University and studied at home with Reiki.Using the suggestions of Wei Chi, the Reiki energy gently works to improve and your job is simply Reiki energy can travel over any anxieties and provide equilibrium.Originally, only two of the working of energy for the underlying basis of reiki attunement, in the hope that he practiced and taught in a very high and should be touched by the procedure created by highly qualified and experienced enhanced spiritual faith.However, Reiki therapists who makes house calls.Carol called that evening, somehow sensing that I was left feeling whole and well, it serves as an attached blessing for healing yourself; healing others; and connecting to the Reiki healing is truly amazing and years of study.
0 notes
Body and Soul (Ch. 12)
AO3
Opening Theme
“Your hands, your hands,
Fall upon mine as waves upon the sands.
O, soft as moonlight on the evening rose,
That but to moonlight will its sweet unclose,
Your hands, your hands,
Fall upon mine, and my hands open as
That evening primrose opens when the hot hours pass.
Your hands, your hands,
They are like towers that in far southern lands
Look at pale dawn over gloom-valley'd miles,
White temple towers that gleam through mist at whiles.
Your hands, your hands,
With the south wind fall kissing on my brow,
And all past joy and future is summed in this great 'Now!”
(John Freeman, Hands)
*
Enchanted Mountains, Arendelle
Long and strong hands were the first attributes to catch Anna and Kristoff's attention. The baby searching eyes, curiously looking at his parents, and his hair, so pale that looked like a white down covering the white skin, came later. But the hands defined Handy, whose previously chosen name, Aatami, was immediately discarded as soon as the proud and exhausted new parents -Anna's labor lasted 10 hours! - laid their eyes on the little boy.
"Feet and hands of a climber..." declares his aunt as she bends over the crib, examining the newborn and already completely in love, "...hmm, conquering look of who knows that already has me in his palm, isn't it my cute little baby?!"
"Gideon," Anna turns to her sister's husband, who was watching the scene from a distance, "you've got competition!"
"No, if we consider that I'm in love with Elsa's loving way with your son, Anna…" he confesses already totally comfortable in expressing his feelings for Elsa in front of her sister and brother-in-law.
Elsa turns to look at Gideon sideways and smiles covertly. To their innermost sphere of friends their shyness and need to preserve the aura of mystery surrounding their relationship has given way to the relaxation of a 'let it go', although both still react with a barely-disguised surprise before public demonstrations of affection coming from the other. But what is better is that, as a reaction, no one else is surprised by them. Even out of their circle, as two public figures they have truly become an item, an emblem for a consolidated couple with private life out of the spotlight - everyone understands and respects their choice. (The same discreteness does not apply for more outgoing personalities, such as Anna’s, who is only curbed by Kristoff's more down-to-earth, practical way).
The royal palace is now divided into three wings. For housing the two new families in a more independent way, each sister occupies one of the two private wings, which in practice corresponds to twin homes, while the third wing is also divided into two sectors, one for the administrative activities of the Enchanted Mountains and the other for those related to the Ministry of Adventure Tourism.
As suggested by Belle, Gideon and Elsa actually chose to keep two residences, the other in his castle - arrangement that, in practice, doesn't change much for them because both palaces are located in the same enchanted land and the time to switch from one to another literally corresponds to the time spent at the flick of a finger.
"I've heard that Jasmine and Aladdin have welcome their little baby girl less than a week ago - which means all royal babies that spent Operation B&S in their mommies' wombs have already been born," Gideon tells them, moving to sit at the armchair close to the fireplace, "and we still need heating in late April, quite impressive…" he grumbles through his teeth.
"We are in the highest mountains, Gideon," Elsa joins him, "and in the highest latitudes…"
"The latitudes could be higher, though…" Kristoff sighs sitting close to Anna.
"What do you mean?" Elsa asks intrigued, "Arendelle is on the northernmost border."
"He means there is more beyond the frontier, higher mountains, even… He means Canada, for example, just to remain close to where we are…" Anna explains.
"But then we would have to cross the magic barrier. Of course I know that the world doesn't end on the border, but I'm not used to think beyond Maine," Elsa justifies her question.
"I think that when we think on adventure we can’t think on these limits.” Anna defends hers and Kristoff’s point of view, “and we are not alone, know that there are those that refuse to be caged in.”
“I get what you mean,” Gideon nods reticent.
“You do? You mean in a literal sense or in metaphorical one?” Kristoff questions him.
“In both senses, they refer to explorers. In a metaphoric sense, those thinking about going beyond the borders are like the eyes of an imaginative child, to give you just an example. In common with those in the literal sense they aim at exploring our world and learning, each day, how much wider it is than they thought the day before. Explorers are a self-fulfiller, self-motivated, self-driven, and self-sufficient. Independence is their hallmark...”
Smiling dreamily, Anna whispers, “Kris, remind me to ask Gideon to write the flyers for Summer vacations…”
Still wondering about what Anna said before, Elsa finally asks, “Anna, what do you mean by not being alone - am I sensing a new rebellion being forged?”
“Of course not,” Anna responds while accommodating the baby on her lap to breastfeed him. “I was referring to a recurring topic of conversations in taverns, restaurants, family reunions, especially since the shelter gatherings. During Operation B&S people talked a lot, being confined as they were, you know?"
"You mean… Operation B&S awakened the seeker?" Elsa asks.
"More than that, sis. During Operation B&S Kristoff and I ran a research in some shelters with two groups of adults: Younger and between 30 to 40. You didn't see it because you spent a lot of time at a kids' shelter... Anyway, compiling the answers we came to the conclusion that among us there are more wanderers, pilgrims and iconoclasts than we imagined - which is good for the Ministry. Borrowing Gideon's term, we identified a lot of explorers, people seeking to escape the confines of their average life by traveling the world or exploring its many mysteries."
"That's interesting… and to think you haven't sampled the two segments with the highest concentration of explorers: kids and teens. Anyway, better not explore this subject too much. Transposing the borders could have unpredictable consequences, there are plenty of places to explore within the Realms, so many that would take many lifetimes to explore them all…" Gideon reasons.
"Sure," Kristoff intervenes, "Anna's concern is with conformity - it reminds me how we, when children, loved to learn about the world. But don't worry, we are all good, no rebellion in sight… With Handy and within the realms we already have a lot of fun in the horizon. After the many events - fairs, festivals and tournaments - among many other tourism activities planned for this Summer, our next achievable goal is to activate the underground canals' maze for guided tours, perhaps this Autumn…"
"Wait a minute," Elsa cuts him, "but the maze... how to cross it without magic runes?"
"Well, good thing the Trolls are our friends, isn't it?" Kristoff winks, "we promised them to not include the Valley of the Living Rock in any tour package, in other words, to leave them in peace and alone, and in exchange they have drawn a few sketches of the maze. Grand Pabbie, Bulda, Cliff, Little Rock, and Goth - all of them are helping."
"The only thing holding back the project is the restoration of Wish Rumple's Castle. It's progressing slowly but we understand that its cleaning is complex and involves more than healing a build. As you know, Archie and Wish Regina are using the restoration as a recovery treatment for both Felixes and that requires another timing." Anna remembers. "Once the castle is ready, which I suppose will happen by autumn-winter, we'll be able to open the first United Realms Ski Resort. If it wasn't for Handy I'd be anxious, but now I'm not in such a hurry, every minute of this cuddly is precious and I want to enjoy it intensely," she says, looking tenderly at the baby breast feeding on her...
Enchanted Mountains, Wish Rumple's Castle
After its last residents, the old castle was left in ruins metaphorically comparable to the mental tissue deterioration of the newest pair of wish-nonwish twins. One of them, actually, ended up earning a new chance for living on Earth but in common both were lacking in emotional stability and life purpose. For this reason, Archie and Wish Regina, working together to socially reintegrate the two men - two adults too far away from their Lost Boys time, decided to develop for them a special rehabilitation program. This way, Felix and Wish Felix were enlisted as constructor apprentices in the Wish Rumple's Castle Restoration Project.
"They'll need many years of therapy," Archie diagnosed, but in order for them to become socially integrated, the participation in this project will give them a feeling of being useful, it will be good for their self-esteem, among other more audacious goals I hope they manage to achieve. But make no mistake, we are dealing with two cases of deep trauma."
"Luckily, the first steps have already been overcome," Archie continued to explain to those deciding over the guys' fate, "I mean, for their real therapy to begin they had to start walking the right path: both have already admitted that for them it is no longer a matter of blaming the father and mother figures standing in their way, as they used to do as Lost Boys - it is on them, the blame. Even this realization, helpful as it is, somehow is still a bit negative because it simply states that they realize that their parents are not against them, they are."
"I'm not sure if I got what you're saying. Who/what inner part is against them?" Killian questioned. "Is there a hidden part of their personality under the father and mother images making them believe for years that the cause of most of their trouble might somehow have got into them from outside?"
"Before answering this question, let's remember that we are dealing with two traumas interconnected. Besides the father-mother issue, cultivated for centuries in both Neverlands by each Felix - I'm naming it 'the Lost Boy Trauma', there is another equally (perhaps even more) important part: their unresolved sexuality. Despite their loyalty to their lovers' evilness, the misdirection of their sexual energy, the unhealthy development of their libido in an abusive and secret relationship never allowed to come out in the open and, which is worse, their true love and devotion, all of that ended up in betrayal, abandonment and feelings of hatred and sexual rejection. So, basically, in a second pack, there is the 'Pan/Malcom Trauma'. While Pan can be seen as Malcom's pedophile side disguised as a boy, each Felix must be seen only as Felix, they went to Neverland during their adolescence, not as a perverted adult reverted to a boy's age. That said, Killian, to answer your question, their inner hidden part fighting against them is the counterpart of their conscious attitude. The unconscious side will leave them no peace and will continue to plague them until it has been accepted. If they were younger a liberation from the past could be enough and a beckoning future would naturally stand ahead rich in possibilities, it would be then sufficient to break a few bonds and the life-urge would do the rest. But in Felixes' cases, they are not really as "young" as their bodies seem to be, the challenges are complex, the stakes are higher."
"In this case, what will be your approach for treating them, Archie?" Key asked.
"I'll illustrate with a metaphor, Key: the butterfly's metamorphosis, this is what I plan to explore during the treatment - a transformational process that might need to be extended over a considerable period of time, during which both Felixes will find themselves living in the very foundations of a world under construction. So, in this sense, I plan to get them involved in the process of restoration of the castle as a metaphor for the life-changing transformation they have to face, a massive reorganization of attitude, behavior, and sense of meaning similar to the massive reorganization of the chaos left by the Pans and Cruellas. Being there, working with their hands in the cleaning and reorganization of the rooms, helping to transform it into a Ski Resort, will trigger their singular encounter with a transformative image after transforming their major life traumas. The castle restoration will take months but for them their own metamorphosis, or transformation, will probably take years to become complete. When there is such a major passage, one can think in terms of the passing over (meta, trans) from one form (morph, form) to another."
...
Wish Regina is now married to Liam Senior, who decided to remain in land with her and Roland (though sometimes the young man visits his father and Regina and stays for a while with them). Besides their work on the Social Welfare Ministry, Liam and Wish Regina run, nearby their Enchanted Seashore house, a restaurant, The Sentinel, and a small hostel which is frequently the in-land home of the Nautilus' crew. Within her duties as Minister, once a week W. Regina travels to W. Rumple's castle taking Tink, W. Tink and the two Felixes with her. They are left there during the five working days, together with architects, bricklayers, carpenters, plumbers, electricians and painters, working on restoring the castle - left in ruins by the Pans and Cruellas - and creating a completely new place. During the weekends they return to Storybrooke and remain in a Detoxing Clinic.
Under the supervision of the two Fairies, their old acquaintances from both Neverlands, the ex-lovers of Pan and Wish Pan are responsible for cleaning the aura of the old castle, which is done through meditation exercises. For that, by acting on their own aura, cleaning the energy field that covers their entire bodies and protecting their spirits from the energies that surround them, they become energy generators producing purifying fields for the environment. This way, their psychic irradiation acts to clean the castle aura. The principle the Fairies use is a combination of mindfulness and meditation applied through simple exercises based on three techniques that greatly help to eliminate negative energies: 1) absorbing sunshine; 2) purifying energies through the crystal clear water of the underground rivers; and 3) just lying in a comfortable place where they can have time for themselves, without being disturbed, to empty their minds and relax their bodies.
In the beginning, only the two Felixes and the two Tinks took part of the exercises but soon the others joined their sessions, usually happening early in the morning, at noon and in the evening. With such a good camaraderie being established, Felix started to help the carpenters and Wish Felix, the painters (the fairies opted to work on the kitchen). These new developments have already showed the first signs of their past traumas' healing.
...
The Felix case rekindled the debates over the activation of the Ministry of Justice - which had been set up with the other ministries but the post had not yet been occupied. Regina, since Robin's return, has been completely refreshed and enthusiastic about the UR activities, and although accumulating the Justice post, she was the first to suggest that a new minister should be appointed. Some names were thought of, but all opinions converged when someone mentioned the name of Emma Swan-Jones…
For Emma, more than a Poetic Justice, the nomination was the crowning of a life trajectory, of a heroic journey marked by being a product of True Love in an unique configuration, back to old times at the Enchanted Forest. Above all, more than a tale written by the Fates, everybody agreed that she would be a natural in managing matters pertinent to the judiciary, police, maintenance and defense of human rights. Besides, having her beloved Captain by her side, leading the intelligence bureau of all realms, would be the icing on the cake.
By her turn, on numerous occasions Emma had already assisted Wish Regina at the Social Welfare Ministry, especially in the project most dear to her - Childhood & Adolescence, but she was somewhat reluctant to accept the invitation for a major ministerial role. Eventually she decided in favor of it once a few conditions were fulfilled satisfactorily. For that, Cruella's house was finally given a purpose after the clones were removed from it. Emma and Killian's goal was to remain in Storybrooke, close to their relatives and to the sea, and that was made possible when the Justice Ministry started to operate in the old mansion after another restoration project was carried out on it. The energy cleansing process adopted was similar to the one being performed at Wish Rumple's Castle - an Astral Healing Operation, but to a lesser extent given the different scales of the two buildings.
All in all, six and a half months after Operation B&S, everyone is starting to rationalize with their minds what has already been felt by their hearts: the astral field is cleaner now and a new energetic balance is gradually being achieved in the Upperworld Realms...
Olympus, Persephone's Garden
In the past, Persephone had a garden of ever blooming flowers in the Underworld but that changed after Hades' descent into madness and villainy - nothing else could flourish there. For Persephone, however, with the half-yearly change of scenery, a garden at Olympus would always bloom and produce her favorite fruit, pomegranate, upon her return to the Upperworld in spring.
The pomegranate is a fruit-bearing deciduous shrub fruit that has been used throughout history and in virtually every religion as a symbol of humanity’s central beliefs and ideals, namely, life and death, rebirth and eternal life, fertility and marriage, and abundance. For the goddess, it features prominently in the story of her marriage to Hades. Hades kidnapped Persephone and took her to the Underworld to be his wife. Persephone’s mother, Demeter, goddess of fertility, considering her daughter lost, went into mourning and thus all things on earth ceased to grow. Zeus, Persephone’s father, commanded his brother Hades to release her, however Hades had tricked her into eating six pomegranate seeds, and it was a Fate's rule, later repealed, that anyone who consumed food or drink in the Underworld was doomed to spend eternity there. Since Persephone had eaten the six pomegranate seeds, she had to remain in the Underworld for six months of the year. Hades agreed to release her to the world above for the other six months of the year, to be reunited with her mother.
...
For the gods, after the normalization of Nectar and Ambrosia production, the experience of being mortal became just a memory. But an unforgettable one, forever altering the way they view life and death. Apart from long philosophical discussions, however, in practice the cycles of seasons continue to follow, and with them, the time for Persephone's return to Olympus after the long winter.
Walking with her mother, Demeter, in their exuberant garden, Persephone reviews the events of the last period spent in the Underworld, probably the most intense and original of her entire existence.
“So far the total rebel souls count has surpassed 150,000, a surprising number. Arthur still suspects that there are some runaway souls hiding in the dry woods around Underbrooke, but no one to be found at the basements and sewers anymore. The rebellion leaders who refused to undergo a recovery program have returned to Tartarus and are now sharing the best-kept Titans' sector. I believe some of those who opted to cooperate can still be regenerated, such as Facilier, Tamara, Greg and a few others who showed signs of a slight regret - and you know that under my sight there is no way for them to fake a regret. By reading their aura I know that, ultimately, they all have as a goal drinking from the waters of Lethe to benefit from forgetfulness and to return for the reincarnation cycle. But their fates have yet to be revealed, they will be submitted to a new judgment and their new punishment will be defined. I’m advocating that there is no meaning in punishing if not for recovering but we will have to wait and see how the divine principle of Justice will be applied…”
“Remember that in some cases there is no return, my dear… By the way, what about Wish Rumple and Nimue? Despite the very serious crimes that weigh on them, without their help our victory would have been much more complex… ” Demeter asks.
“They are hibernating, especially Nimue, she hibernates 100% of the time. Merlin went down to the Underworld, accompanied by his friend Ingrid, and they worked with Nimue's soul for several days, applying passes on her, and helped Arthur and me to set up a gradual recovery program for her, in principle for lasting almost a century. Something different from what is being applied to James Nolan, because his case is quite simpler, his soul was not so corrupted. Similarly, for Wish Rumple, Wish Belle also worked with us to define a special recovery program for him. In his case, without the need of a prolonged hibernation. He voluntarily asked to gradually replace this therapy by a work assisting Arthur after Wish Belle moves to Elysium - which is about to happen. Another of his requests was to be part of the string quartet. As I’m not there, he has already started playing, but his instrument will change after Belle leaves. I've watched only one performance but the results on his aura cleaning were encouraging.”
“Hmm, that's interesting... We could use guardian flowers to accelerate Nimue and W. Rumple’s healing processes, they could be kept by Merlin and W. Belle, their true loves: a poetic outcome in the fate of the first and the last Dark Ones...” Demeter suggests.
“What a great idea! The flowers must be Red Rose, for Rumple, and Mistletoe, for Nimue, like this!” and with a gesture, Persephone produces two crystal cylindrical domes with the flowers in them. “We just need to give them to Merlin and W. Belle. For as long as they preserve their vitality and bright, there will be hope for Nimue and Rumple’s redemption.”
“Why not go down there now and give both to Belle? She can take them with her when she moves on. And I could go with you, you know, get to know more closely the Human that has stolen my daughter’s heart….” she winks.
“What do you mean? What are you talking about?”
“Don’t deny, Persephone, it is too evident. You are in love with Arthur and that is great, I’m happy for you. You needed a King to reign with you…”
“Right…” she smiles timidly, “I confess, he really is a special man. But ours is an impossible love, Mother, he is more than mortal, he is dead man, I mean, he doesn’t have a physical body, which makes things more complicated for us.”
“Not for Zeus, you know, I have talked to him and he has agreed: if Arthur agrees he can be resurrected in a similar way as Killian Jones was. From that, if he drinks the Nectar, in a similar way as what happened to Psyche - remember her story with Eros? Well, then, if he agrees in drinking the Nectar he will be one of us, a God, the new King of the Underworld. He will reign alone when you, the Underworld Queen, come to the Upperworld during spring-summer, and he will stay with you, down there, during autumn-winter.”
“Oh, Mother!” she closes her eyes dreamily, “that would be a dream come true, a really good dream! Arthur is nothing like Hades, he is a loyal and righteous soul. Although he made a very compromising mistake in Camelot, he was the first victim of it, a consequence of Merlin's prophecy misinterpretation. He paid with his life for all his crimes and has given successive proofs of a brilliant, selfless intelligence. Not to mention that to my eyes at least he is a very handsome man and... by the way he looks at me, it seems that my feelings are reciprocated. Oh, Mother, I can't believe I've been given a chance to love and be loved again, to find physical pleasure with a god, again... " she sighs with her eyes closed, anticipating the hours of endless love and passion beside the future god. "You and my Father really made this Spring a special one for me, thank you so much!”
“I'm glad to hear you saying that, your happiness is well deserved - and I'm glad that this time, hopefully, shared with a god worthy of your love, Persephone. You have been a good queen but too lonely… So, let’s visit my future son in law, your King Arthur, and soon he will be the one feeling good. Actually, if he agrees - as I’m sure he will, he will be the one feeling god!" Demeter grins at her pun. "You know, my divine intuition is telling me that soon you will have back your garden down there: with the return of music and yours and Arthur's blossoming love I’m sure that soon the flowers will be back to Underbrooke, in a similar way as hope returned when Killian resurrected and Arthur decided to stay there. His resolution triggered the restoration of a broken kingdom, thus marking the definite end of Hades' era - Arthur being rewarded with immortality is not a favor, my dear, but an act of Justice."
Enchanted Sea, Nautilus
"Ursula, more than six months have passed and you haven't started drinking Ambrosia's Nectar yet... always with some excuse not to go to Olympus. Triton told me that he started drinking months ago..." Nemo again tries to understand Ursula's motivation for her Nectar's abstinence, trying to make her open up to him. This time, in response Ursula shrugs, smiles a mischievous smile, and finally offers him the first concrete answer about her motives: "I'll drink again if you agree to drink with me..."
Her response catches the Captain by surprise and his reaction is a plopped look, a parted mouth but no sound and, finally, a piercing look into her eyes. Before he outlines another reaction, however, W. Ariel and Junior knock at the door and announce that the last crossing point has just been unlocked during the little mermaid dive. With that, they all head to the main room for joining Harris, Martin and their guests, not without Nemo finally managing to whisper, back to Ursula, "this conversation isn’t over yet!"
...
Renewed and grateful for the new chance of a life on earth, Lieutenant Martin and Lieutenant Harris, in an eternal honeymoon, rejoined the Nautilus' crew and, for this dive into southern waters still within twenty thousand leagues boundary, they invited three new friends from their Underworld experience: Franz, from Arendelle, Theodora, from Oz, and Jefferson Hatter, accompanied by his daughter Grace. In addition to the entertainment tour for the guests, the expedition fulfills the mission of unlocking the remaining crossing points on the seabed gridline - those on Earth have already been unlocked and the telluric energies are back to flow freely.
…
Sit at a lunch table, they celebrate their mission ending while still retelling their vivid reminiscences of the Underworld. Always eloquent, Jefferson is one of the most talkative, especially when asked about his latest great adventure. “I spent a great deal of my long existence traveling between realms, crossing portals to other dimensions… I knew lands without color - just black, white and shades of gray; I explored alternate enchanted forests, distant realms, wonderlands and enchanted deserts, many of them running under different paces, but nothing prepared me for the Underworld. I couldn't say it was, in the strict sense, a bad trip, because we were received as warmly as possible given the circumstances, but the feeling of death can only be understood by those who felt and remember it!!”
“What about the Land without Magic, Papa? You never told me much about it...” Grace asks, moving to a less somber subject.
“That’s because I’ve only been there briefly, my dear. During the first curse I confess that I was tempted to move there, because being the only Storybrooke’s citizen keeping the Enchanted Forest memory, the only one who did not forget the real identity, besides Regina, was the true experience of madness. People often refer to me as the Mad Hatter, but the real madness has always been my extreme lucidity - the rest is eccentricity and legend. But then I never wanted to cross the border because I didn't want to forget you, Grace. Although the pain of being able to see you, knowing who you were, but not being recognized by you was almost unbearable, I didn't want to lose you. Later, after the first curse was broken it became possible to leave without losing my memory and I got away with it. I loved New York even though I wouldn't want to live there. But all the cosmopolitan buzz, the mix of peoples and cultures make it a city that cannot be considered without magic. Unfortunately, its problem is being in a very sick world, a very sick society. I admit that my analysis is too simplistic, but definitely their economic, political and social systems turn their world a sick land. I do not know if there is, on the whole planet within the dimension of the Land without Magic, any society or political or economic system that escapes this sickness. As a society we also have a lot of problems but nothing comparable to their reality. The United Realms creation, as a concept, is fantastic but no one can predict the long term consequences of bringing us together without portals to cross - the only outside world for us now is the Land without Magic, reachable by crossing enchanted border lines. For adventurers minds like mine crossing the UR border will be tempting, mainly for younger, explorer minds since the older ones tend to be more conservative and less curious. Besides, as we do access their world through the electromagnetic waves, we know what is going on there, though they don't access our encrypted signals - yet; we know them and their struggles but they don't know us. We know how badly they treat the planet..."
“I know that the oceans suffer a lot because of the people who inhabit the Land without Magic," W. Ariel comments. "I communicate with many sea inhabitants and they use to describe the atrocities they are subjected to: predatory hunting with institution of destruction, the greed of seabed exploration for oil extraction, nuclear tests, contamination of waters by chemical, radioactive and industrialized waste - tons of plastic waste; there are various endangered species out there... it's very sad what they tell me when they can cross the barriers that separate the Enchanted Sea from the other Oceans."
“Their armament industry forces them to live in a permanent war…” Ursula adds. “I lived there, I know quite a bit about what Jefferson said, he is absolutely right. You know, sometimes I wonder if the world would accept and respect our existence... we could help them in that case.”
“They are not prepared for accepting that those whom they classify as fictional characters are in fact real people,” Theodora explains. “I know that there have been attempts, in the past, of people from our realms who tried to explain that to them - all ended up treated as crazy people and died in an asylum.”
“I guess they would accept more easily the existence of outer space Aliens than ours!” Junior jokes.
“Even so,” Nemo ponders, “my adventurous, explorer spirit insists that there must be a way to cross the borders undetected and, once there, work anonymously and unknowingly to at least protect the natural resources of the planet - as citizens of the planet we are connected to them - if they destroy Mother Nature, they destroy themselves and ourselves!”
“Has anyone discussed the possibility of unifying the United Realms with the Land without Magic?” Franz wonders.
“That would be too problematic, Franz,” Nemo responds. “We would be seen as part of Maine, the US government wouldn't respect our independence and would want us to be subject to their command, under their taxes, laws, currency and state government’s policies. And which is worse, considering their belic industry and geopolitical/military interests, they would want to explore and use our Magic and our unique Science as a weapon - not to mention that other people would want to proclaim their cultural property to reclaim some of our kingdoms. But as we really are One, what happens in there directly or indirectly affects us. That's particularly true now. You see, we could help them during this pandemic crisis much more extensively if we weren't oblied to work anonymously.”
“We got to befriend the Shamans and their tribes,” Grace reminds them, “there is hope…”
“That is meaningful, it really is.” Franz tells Grace. “But I’ve been told by those who got to talk with the Shamans, during the Victory Celebrations, that most of their people have been decimated and their culture has been disrespected for centuries, now. They are the real Native people of the American territory, in other words the original inhabitants of the United Realms territory. Perhaps if it were for them, only, the border could be deactivated without problem. But let's face reality, we should take their experience as a reference and be prepared to defend our lifestyle and culture. From what I understood, if we opened our borders we could become an exploited freak, something like an exotic attraction. Their dominant system - capitalism, isn't it? - would see us as an absurdly great source of wealth and exploitation. That would be our end," he continues reasoning. “But I get your point, Grace, knowing that they are destroying and polluting our shared home, Mother Earth, and being here doing nothing is quite disturbing…”
“Franz is right,” Nemo agrees. “For capitalism, we would be seen as a source of profit, of power, only. Our mystical existence would be unexplainable for them. Our elements of mystery if not explorable for profit or domination could be seen as a threat to their lifestyle and religious systems, which, it seems, may enrich the understanding but rob the imagination… As for us, we use to divide the world not into different groups of objects but into different groups of connections and, based on that, my only hope of a better rapport with them comes exactly from their Modern Science and their Ancient Cultures, such as the Shamans’ - both get closer to our approach. For modern Physics, the world appears as a complicated tissue of events, in which connections of different kinds alternate or overlap or combine and thereby determine the texture of the whole. I could discuss our principles and mysteries with scientists but not with politicians and economists…”
“You are referring to Heisenberg's principle of indeterminacy, isn’t it? I read about it during the 28 years of cursed Storybrooke…” Jefferson asks. "The so-called uncertainty principle..."
“Exactly,” Nemo confirms. “Heisenberg was a congenial fellow, he emphasized that the view of nature as an object out there was quite illusory, he demonstrated that the subject was always part of the equation, that an inexorable reciprocity between subject and object existed such that the very act of observation changed irreparably what was being observed - unknowingly, he enunciated one of the principles of Magic!! That is also one of the most important paradigms of Psychology, a fundamental paradox of existence inherited precisely in the fact that the human being is both subject and object at once.”
“They would want to rob our Nectar of Ambrosia, again…” Ursula mumbles.
“Oh, that reminds me that Ursula and I have an important issue to discuss, privately. So, if you'll excuse us, my friends, you should continue the conversation without us for now. Shall we go to our quarters, Ursula, please?” Nemo addresses her, already standing up.
…
Closing their quarters door and sitting close to Ursula, Nemo turns to her, holding her hand, “Very well, Ursula… Immortality. Is that what you are offering me?”
“Yeah…” she answers timidly. “That, or the other way around, I mean, mortality for me. I can't handle any other alternative very well. I either become a mortal and follow the timeline with you, or bring you with me to the immortality line. There is no other alternative to my equation, Nemo. I wouldn't know, wouldn't resist, and wouldn't want to be eternal away from you. I have already talked to my father and Zeus, among the gods they are of the few with authority and power to allow a mortal to become immortal. They recently opened an exception for Arthur, in the Underworld, not only to resurrect him but also to make him immortal, and they will say yes to you if you agree. The final decision is yours, you are free to choose."
“I choose you, my love, my eternal love…” he closes the gap between them, caressing her arms up and down to hug her tightly, holding her chin, stroking her ear and opening his lips to kiss her soft lips as they start a sensual dance of passionate tongues as skilled and wet as the tentacles of an octopus and a nautilus curling up and merging into One in a mating ritual.
Elysium, Islands of the Blessed
Belle's farewell was gentle, full of promises and hope when she and Rumple consummated their love the day before her departure.
“Rumple, trust our love, always be guided by it, know that through our Rose, I will be always taking care of you and protecting you. Please remember, keep in your heart that ancient Greek inscription we so often read together, as the mark of our everlasting love: Time is a child - playing like a child - playing on a chessboard - the realm of the child. It is Telesphorus, who errs through the dark regions of the cosmos and shines like a star rising from the depths. It points the way to the gates of the sun and dreamland…”
“I remember,” Rumple whispers caressing her tenderly, “when we sit in our castle to read about Telesphorus, whom in Greek mythology symbolizes convalescence, the period following an illness. Perhaps, one day, if you go to Mount Olympus, you will meet him. He is the son of Asclepius, the chief god of medicine.”
“Yeah, I’ll remember that… Do you know, Rumple, why I liked so much this passage? I never told you, I guess. That is because the "disease", of which Telesphorus announces convalescence through its small lantern, is the moment of complete immersion in the unconscious, in the darkness of absolute nothingness, referred to in the Greek text as dark regions of the cosmos."
Nodding, Rumple smiles and then asks, “and have I told you before why I liked this representation of Time?” As she shakes her head, he continues, “normally time is represented by the figure of death, a sinister skull with a scythe in its hand, but here it is represented by a figure of a child: playing, illuminating our paths through the infinite sky's darkness. It is also a representation of the Self, our real being, when we finally recognize it. Telesphorus represents the time when light is rescued, he is the discrimination, the right direction during darkening situations. He is the Time at the center of consciousness.”
The tears fall as Belle closes her eyes to absorb Rumple’s words. Reopening them, she looks into his eyes. “My love, the images of time, as the skull that carries the scythe or as the child that brings the light, they refer to two types of time experience that you and I will undergo from now on. The first speaks of the linear time to which your next flesh, after your stage in Underbrooke, will be subjected, easily perceived by the external transformations manifested by the body design and the environment around it. It will be marked by birth, life, and death and is related to the causal form of thought, beginning, middle, and end. They are like deaths and rebirths. This is Kronos, which represents time related to death, a time that consumes itself. Our Love lives in Kayros, a nonlinear time. It represents those moments that transcend the limitations imposed by the fear of death in a second as vast as the infinite space. Please remember, Rumple, Kayros, in Greek, means the right time. In Latin, it corresponds to momentum, the moment that leaves a strong and unique impression throughout life without the weight of past burdens and the anxiety about the future.”
“I see…” Rumple nods barely managing to speak, also with teary eyes.
...
“I love you, ma Belle de Jour, my eternal Belle! Meet me in our Kayros, I'll be there... part of me will be always there, waiting for the Right Time when we will be together again...” Rumple waves as she slowly climbs the stairs to the Upperworld taking with her the two crystal domes with the two flowers, the symbols of Hope and Eternal Love.
…
Wish Belle died without a proper funeral ceremony - her remains were abandoned in a cell where they decomposed. Nonetheless, she was loved - much loved by everyone who knew her and it was this love that allowed her soul to have the direction it had in Underbrooke. Finally managing to steer her Unfinished Business to a good outcome, Wish Belle braced herself for the big and definite shift in her existence: the Champs Elysee. She arrives in the Islands of the Blessed through a portal that took her soul to cross her twin’s place of burial, as a kind of ritual of passage to absorb a proper burial, and is met by two friends who recently have been in the Underworld with her: Merlin and Ingrid.
“Welcome,” Ingrid tells her, extending her arms.
“Hello, Belle, welcome to your new home,” Merlin smiles, receiving the dome with Nimue’s flower and looking at it absently.
“Follow me,” Ingrid brings them both back to the present. “There is a reception party waiting for you, my dear, you will soon realize how much we enjoy a good socializing meeting with good talk, dancing, delicious meals, lots of music and peace. Above all, Belle, a lot of peace. This does not mean that we do not care about those who have not yet reached this state of mind, on the contrary. Even in the face of the pain and suffering of others, it is the serenity of our spirit that points to the paths and to the reasons why so much sadness still affects our beloved humans incarnated on Earth or in lower layers of the Underworld. Come, Belle, between us we don't have to use the prefix "wish" to distinguish ourselves, we just know who we are.”
…
Wish Belle is living with the two Baelfires, now that Milah has moved to Liam’s ship, where he already lived with Alice. Sometimes she visits her twin and brother in law, usually to borrow a new book, which she reads out loud in front of her Rose, imagining she is reading to her Rumple. Her sister took from Olympus a free pass to the Olympian Library and she is sure to have enough lecture for all eternity - both Belles don’t complain. The 'Tiltskin brothers are the best companions she could have asked for, always good humored, always gentle, always ready to talk and to day dream. They love to spend hours painting or hearing their neighbor, Aesop, narrating/creating new fables in the house he shares with Marian.
Ingrid, living with her sisters and brother in law, sometimes visits Merlin, joining Rumple, who also loves to visit the Wizard and his Apprentice, Jack, in a lab where they run experiments, discuss spells or simply talk about Life, Love, and Eternity.
Fergus and Farah, with Midas, Wish Midas and their wives share a common hobby: Midas received from the gods a wide screen similar to the Charmings', but in their case, instead of watching real life people, they prefer to marathon watching movies and series produced on the LWM.
In contrast to Midas' cine club, Aunt Em, Ruth and Wish Ruth, being the Charming’s neighbors, are usually at their house watching their beloved ones, vibrating for them, feeling good with them...
Enchanted Sea, the Jolly Rogers
At the end of July, to celebrate the twins' third month and the first anniversary of the Sweet Suite, the much-dreamed and planned trip on the two Jolly Rogers finally became true. On a sunny Tuesday morning, the crew and passengers of the two ships departed from Storybrooke heading south, reproducing the original journey of Key and his four mates until their arrival on Heart-Shaped Island.
The preparations for the trip ran in parallel to a ministerial reform initiated with David's request to leave the Defense Ministry and to occupy the Agriculture Ministry, instead. What followed was a concatenation of changes leading to a brand new configuration. The renewed setup began to be outlined when Robin Hood assumed the Prime Minister position and soon after that several ministerial posts - previously created but not yet occupied - gained their holders, new offices and staff. As a whole, it was decided that each Ministry would have two holders to provide a better balance for them to conciliate their professional duties with their private lives.
This way, after David’s move, Emma requested Killian's release for working at the Ministry of Justice as head of the new Intelligence Bureau. Key, in turn, asked to share his time between Storybrooke Police Department and Emm's newly occupied Ministry of Art & Culture. As a leading specialist in computer science, Key naturally needed a higher freedom degree because he gradually became a consultant for all ministries but his goal is to dedicate, at least part-time, to fine arts, especially painting, and to maritime navigation - a dream shared with Killian. Besides, with his move he intended to free his wife for a part-time job thus allowing her to take care of the babies during their first year.
In the Magic Ministry Gideon gained Zelena's support after she and Chad settled back on her farm, previously occupied by Robyn and Alice. With the magic connection between the ranch and their Portland house, Zelena and Chad can better reconcile life on both worlds. Robyn and Alice, by their turn, are the newest occupants of the Loft in downtown Storybrooke.
Henry Mills joined Snow in the Education Ministry, while Chynna, besides majoring in Psychology, took over the Communication Ministry with Sydney (her father joined Nemo in the Ministry of Science & Technology). Lily and Phileas Fog assumed the Transport Ministry in coordination with the activities ran by Aladdin and Eric at the Ministry of Industry & Trade whilst Lancelot and Naveen moved to the Defense Ministry. The complete setup diagram was emailed by Chynna to Robin a few minutes after boarding the ships and its printed version went hand in hand.
"It looks great," Snow summed it up and concluded with her characteristic optimism: “This diagram confirms that we are not leaving any critical issue behind. We are free to completely relax and indulge ourselves on the cruise to Heart Island. All aboard, settled down, great weather, two ships lined up and ready to set sail!”
Differently from the original 4-sailor team, the cruise required a bigger crew which then resulted in 6 people for each ship under the two captains Jones command. The passengers include, in addition to those connected to the original Sweet Suite events: Kristoff, Anna and Handy (their baby boy), Eric, Ariel, Anastasia, Drizella, Moe, Jack and Johanna. The other passengers are: Killian, Emma, Hope, Key, Emm, Jason, Dylan, Henry, Cindy, Lucy, W. Henry, Violet, Alice, Robyn, David, Snow, Neal, Gideon, Elsa, Robin, Regina, Roland, S. Regina, W. Robin, Coralline, W. Regina, Liam Sr, W. Ariel, Liam Jr, Ursula, Nemo, Brennan, Gepetto, August, W. Pinocchio, W. Granny, Granny, Merida, Mulan, Red, Dorothy, W. Red, W. Mulan, Tiana, Naveen, Zelena, Chad, Aladdin, Jasmine and Farah (their baby girl) - a total of 72 people, 36 on each ship: full capacity without compromising their quarters comfort.
And there they go!
...
The days have followed with tranquility: warm with a refreshing breeze blowing over the sails, propelling the vessels like two ships floating in clear days and starry nights. The passage of time has been marked by the Sweet Suite songs, played in the same order as they were originally sung and played. One of the ships, however, has been kept quieter: Key's, as the four babies are traveling on it - Jason, Dylan, Handy and Farah, four new forces of nature preparing to shine in the world. Meanwhile, on the other ship, with everyone already with their own brightness dawned, there hasn't been any restrictions for a noisier radiation of joy and promise of life.
Seen from a distance the cruise resembles perfection, but at a close inspection Snow's wish hasn't been exactly fulfilled - blame on the Internet. Although trying, they haven't been completely disconnected from the world, especially from constant threats of global pandemic and ecological imbalances reported in the news arriving from the Land without Magic, which they follow concerned.
Despite of that the Enchanted Sea and the enchanted ships, working their magic, have managed to provide a well-deserved vacation to all, entitled to a stop on Carnation Island for a heavenly feast prepared by Poseidon and Triton, who were waiting for them. Inspired by the events on the island a year ago, Ursula proposes that they rehearse a new musical number in addition to the one performed for the Sweet Suite. The result, in the end, may not have been as magical as before, but will surely be remembered as one of the most relaxing and funny moments of their cruise.
...
Another day comes and goes and, finally, they reach it: Heart-shaped Island, bringing up to every one - each in their own private universe that collectively built the Sweet Suite a year ago, a lot of memories and emotions, a lot of voices in the sound of the waves, voices of the sea, voices speaking to the travelers disembarking from the two ships in a state of wonder but, if they stop to listen, shut up, for listening too: fortunate, enchanted hearty island, land where Love lives waiting for walkers as they wake up from a dream and face Real Life, where there's only sentiment, where there's only the sea.
“So beautiful…” Emm extends her arms with teary eyes clouded by images and sounds reverberating in her heart: magic music... magic mirror and, oh! sweet memory... Luna and Missy... “I miss them…” she whispers to Key and Emma, who walks close to them, hand in hand with Hope.
“They are here, Aunt Emm,” Hope comforts Emm, caressing her hands and pointing to the sky, “see those two shinning birds flying over there? They are Luna and Missy sending their love!!!”
…
The Beatles song sounds far away, mingling in the air with the happy laughs and screams of children - who today don't want to be treated like pre-teens or teens. Even the adults, seen at close range, have allowed the kid they kept in their chests to run free on the beach. At the extremes, all in all, old and young find themselves communing with the magic of the Island.
"Here comes the sun king
Everybody is laughing
Everybody is happy
Here comes the sun king...
Quando paramucho mi amore de felice corazón
Mundo paparazzi mi amore chicka ferdy parasol
Cuesto obrigado tanta mucho que canite carousel..."
In this scenario, Emm and Key - she with Jason, the ever more contemplative, on her lap, he carrying the most alert, Dylan - are walking the heart path, the island edge.
"Still beautiful and welcoming," Emm smiles with nostalgia.
"Would you like to come back, love?"
"Maybe, on summer holidays or special occasions... we could build a few summer houses and come with Killian, Emma and Hope, perhaps, Robyn & Alice and Henry & Violet, and..." she grins shaking her head, "not too many or it would become too crowded..."
"Three houses would be perfect, love, they could be 3-bedroom cottages. Killian, Emma and I were talking to Anna and Kristoff about that, you know, nearly 30 minutes ago. We are thinking about creating a regular Tourism route - remember that it is always Summer-like here - but for that we'd have to build a small dock, for the Jolly Rogers, and 3 cottages: one at the tip of the heart, where your house used to be, and the other two in the lobes of the heart, where we made love for the second time," he grins, playing with Dylan's fingers.
Emma chuckles and continues, "it would be nice for us and the children, I can already imagine them running along these white sands, laughing happily, building castles..."
"Aye..." suddenly Key stops on his track to look into Emm's eyes, "it was here that I told you, for the first time, that I love you..."
"I love you too, Killian, and if it weren't for Jason already massaging my breasts and making my milk drip, I'd kiss you showing how much... Let's go find a shadow because these two are thirsty and so do I..."
"Sit here with the boys, Emma, under these palm trees. Don't spend your magic to bring water, I'll fill the canteen in the fountain and will be back in a minute."
...
“Emm, you lived in a paradise: a beautiful beach with warm waters, a cool breeze, crystal clear drinking water, delicious…” Zelena and Chad approach Emm, lying on the sand next to the babies, who alternate to breastfeed on her.
“Yeah, this island is really special, Zelena: magic and musical…” she smiles softly while looking at the children approaching with Alice and Henry Mills to sit next to them.
“What song would she - the island is a girl - sing to us if she could sing?” Cora asks, making funny faces at Dylan.
“We could ask her,” Hope replies and turns to Alice, “Starfish…” everyone smiles at the girl's cuteness using Alice's nickname, “you talk to the trees, so... you could ask them what song they would sing for us…”
“Sure, my cutie,” Alice replies blinking, “I'm going to the middle of the island, near the water fountain, I will concentrate to ask them and to be able to hear their answer and then I will come back to tell you…”
…
When she comes back with a big smile on her lips, everyone asks: "So, did it work?"
“Aye, the Island responded! she told me that the song she would like to dedicate to us is called Feeling Good!"
Initially the title didn't ring a bell to anyone and Key then asked his daughter if there wasn't any other hint - "nope, nada!"
“I know it!” Henry finally exclaims, “I know this song! There is a classic version with Nina Simone but I think I have a cover version on my playlist, do you want to hear it?”
“We want it!!” “Of course!” “Aye!” “Yes!” “Aye!”
"Very well, everyone," Henry prepares to press play: "here we go!"
*
0 notes
Within, Without
Rated G
Genyatta
~1600 words
Genji takes Zenyatta to Rikimaru and finds himself caught up in memories of the past.
Genji sat in Rikimaru, playing with his food more than eating it. He pushed the noodles in his bowl of ramen around with his chopsticks as he lingered deep within his own thoughts. Eating had become a far more complicated ordeal since his enhancement. He was still human enough that his body needed nutrients, but eating required removing the faceplate from his helmet, and that exposed him to wandering eyes. Only complete cybernetic replacement could fix all of his scars, and that idea frightened him more than he would ever care to admit. It had been hard enough to accept this level of technological intervention.
“Even when you are at rest, your mind races,” Zenyatta said, resting a hand on Genji’s forearm to gently guide him back into the present. “What are you thinking of?”
“Nothing new,” Genji answered, more biting than he intended. Why did he have to still harbour such bitterness?
“New or old, your thoughts are valid. Your emotions must be felt to find peace.”
“How can I find peace if I want to destroy everything?”
“I do not think you want to destroy everything, Genji. If that was truly your wish, you would not travel with me, nor invite me to visit this place. You did not come here to destroy anything.”
Genji sighed and set his chopsticks down, giving up on eating for the moment. He ran a hand back through his hair, something he often felt like was the last true vestige of his humanity.
“Will it ever stop hurting?” he asked, though it was perhaps mostly to himself. Zenyatta replied with a questioning hum. “People see me as a monster - my own brother could not disguise his horror when he saw me. Will it ever stop hurting?”
“Genji, this is how you know you are not a monster. Within you is the man you have always been. You are not lesser because you are without all of your human features. No level of cybernetic enhancement can remove your soul, what defines you as you.”
“But what is the point of the pain? Why can’t I just...not care?”
Zenyatta paused. It had taken quite some time to reach this point. When he had first met Genji, the man was distraught, angry, frustrated, alone. He fought back at every turn, determined to be entirely self-sufficient, driven by the whirlwind of negativity caught up inside of his chest. He had been so unreceptive to any external input. But now here Genji was, searching for answers in Zenyatta’s words. The omnic struggled to find any sort of satisfying answer. After several moments, he finally nodded his head.
“Suffering cannot be avoided - not by humans nor by omnics. Everything we experience exists within a single infinite web of intertwining threads. Everything we do is influenced by everything that we have experienced. Active or passive, positive or negative, all actions we engage in are connected. When you see yourself as a monster, you feel the effect of all of the events that brought you here. You feel this aching because there is immeasurable pain tangled up in your memories of your physical transition into this body. We can never fully rid ourselves of these deep feelings but they do fade with time. You have already healed so much since even we first met. When I look in your eyes, there is hope now, not only anger.”
“How am I supposed to move on if I can’t get over the past?” Genji asked, rising emotions creeping into his voice. “I forgave Hanzo, but I still can’t move on!”
“You have moved on, even if you cannot see it. Here you are, back in Hanamura, your home, eating at the restaurant you frequented as a child. You would never have been sitting here willingly when we first met. You would not even speak of Hanamura.”
That quieted Genji. He had never considered it like that. Trapped inside his own thoughts, he could only see the dark clouds that crowded him. He had entirely missed the sun shining through the gaps. But now he had the chance to step back, guided by Zenyatta’s words, and look at the full picture. Where there was only shadow before, light was slowly being restored. The aches of his past were still present, but they were fading, healing, as he grew each day into his new self.
“Have you always been this wise?” Genji finally said, hints of a smile at the corners of his lips. “Or am I blind?”
“My life was spent in a monastery, studying the ways to achieve true inner peace and understanding. I have had longer to grasp these things than you have. You are learning quickly though. You have come so far.”
Genji felt happier than he had felt in a very long time. Zenyatta’s praise encompassed him like a warm blanket on a cold day. Zenyatta’s presence itself was a deep comfort. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to lock the memory of this moment securely in his mind so he could always return to it. After a minute, he opened his eyes and looked back to his bowl of ramen.
“Can’t let good food go to waste,” he said, smiling faintly as he picked up his chopsticks.
“What is it like?”
“What is what like?”
“Eating. I have never needed food.”
“Of course,” Genji replied, brows furrowing in thought. It was so easy to forget that Zenyatta was not and never had been a human. There were always the rumours about omnics being soulless, inhuman monsters to be feared and loathed, but Zenyatta was so much more than that. “It’s...hard to explain. I’ve never really thought about it. It’s just something you have to do when you are human. Mostly that’s all it is - a chore that must be done - but sometimes you find something you enjoy the taste of and it becomes so much more than a chore. When I eat this ramen, it’s like I’m young again. It brings back all the memories of when Hanzo and I would come here after playing or training. Once, after the new year’s celebrations, we came with all of the money we had gotten and spent it on as much food as we could. My stomach hurt for a week!”
Genji laughed, eyes bright as he reminisced on his childhood. Zenyatta smiled in return. He so rarely got to see Genji caught up in good memories. It was rarer still that Hanzo would be brought into a conversation without lingering undercurrents of pain. He watched, pleased with Genji’s happiness, as Genji returned to his bowl of ramen.
“Does it taste the same as it did before?”
“Exactly the same...Well I think exactly the same. It’s been a while. But even if it doesn’t, it does?” Genji answered, trailing off as he tried to sort out his own meaning in his head. “I remember all of the fun we had here more than the food. So even if it’s not exactly the same taste, being here and eating ramen and seeing the same old signs, it all feels the same. That’s what counts.”
“You truly have grown,” Zenyatta said, still smiling as Genji finished his meal.
“What do you mean?”
“You are thinking of your past with a smile.”
The comment surprised Genji, and he froze for a moment in thought. He hadn’t even considered that. It seemed irrelevant, he supposed, at least when viewed internally. It was only natural to reminisce, and despite his past trauma there were far more good memories than bad. There were years and years of his life where he had enjoyed himself thoroughly and where all of his thoughts toward his brother were admiring and warm. How long, he asked himself silently, had he wanted desperately to be as cool and powerful as Hanzo? Even as he grew older and cared less about the family business, he still dreamed of having the power Hanzo had when he spoke. But he had forgotten all of that, or shoved it away into a back corner of his mind.
“You’re right,” Genji finally said after several long moments of quiet, “I would never have done this before. I didn’t even remember that I could smile about the past. But I’ve got so many good memories here, memories with Hanzo in them too.”
“You are growing. You are always growing. But now you are seeing it yourself,” Zenyatta replied, resting a hand on Genji’s forearm where it rested on the counter. “I am proud of you.”
Genji had perhaps known of Zenyatta’s pride for a while now, but hearing it said aloud brought a fresh wave of new feelings crashing over him. There was a deep warmth in his chest and his cheeks. He had forgotten what it was like to be understood and appreciated, especially since he so often was frustrated with himself for emotions he could not entirely control. His fingers curled tighter around his chopsticks as he tried to rein himself back in. He took several deep breaths before he turned his head to look at his mentor, his friend, his love. How long had he been craving someone’s praise? Had there ever been a time when he did not crave it?
“Thank you, Zenyatta,” he murmured as he settled his hand on Zenyatta’s to ground himself in the moment. “We should go home soon. They probably don’t want us taking up two perfectly good seats when we’ve - I’ve finished eating.”
“A good plan,” Zenyatta said with a nod of his head. “Thank you for showing me this place, and for sharing your memories with me.”
“We should...go out more often. I know a lot of places. We could even go play games at the arcade. I spent so much money there when I was a kid.”
“I would like that very much.”
“I think I would too…”
15 notes
·
View notes
Weekly horoscopes will start back up in March, I hope that these monthly horoscopes can serve you until then. Please remember that horoscopes are meant to be read as inspiration. If you know both your rising sign and sun sign, please read both horoscopes. They both contain important information. Take what works for you, leave the rest. February begins on the highest, fullest note possible: in the midst of eclipse season. As January came to an end, the total lunar eclipse punctuated the first, and opened the second, month of 2018. The eclipse that occurred on January 31st is the first of two eclipses. The second is a solar eclipse that happens at 1:06 PM PT on February 15th, at 27° of Aquarius. Eclipse season isn’t something to take lightly, but its messages are, more often than not, misunderstood. Expecting giant events to take place on the day of an astronomical event isn’t a failsafe or helpful way to work with astrological information. Every astrological occurrence is part of a larger unfolding. Eclipses are no different. Because they occur over a period of time in the same signs (which equates to the same house, or area of your life), we need to consider the entire time period as a framework for unpacking their message and meaning. We just experienced the 3rd of 5 eclipses in Leo. The 1st occurred on February 10th, 2017 and the 2nd on August 21st, 2017. Think back to these time periods and consider the house that these eclipses are taking place in (if you need a reminder, check your January horoscope, but make sure to read your rising sign if you know it for the most accurate information). Because the eclipses in Leo are north node eclipses, the general theme of them will be about something in this area of your life increasing. Events around the north node can teach us about our hunger, our greed and our wanting. Some of it helps us to achieve great things, while some of it disturbs our ability to experience contentment. Each eclipse will most likely teach you a little about both. Remember that we are only a little more than half way through the story. The next eclipse in Leo will occur on August 11th, 2018 and the last will occur on January 21st, 2019. The 1st of a series of 4 eclipses in Aquarius began on August 18th, 2016 (this was an incredibly mild eclipse however, which some wouldn’t count as significant at all); the 2nd occurred on August 7th, 2017; the third will take place this month, on February 15th; and the 4th and final one will occur on July 27th, 2018. The eclipses in Aquarius are happening around the south node of the moon. The south node helps us to empty out, drain or release something from our lives. Their teaching is about letting go of control and allowing something bigger than ourselves to work through us. More spiritual in nature than the north node (which can tend to be a little more materially inclined), south node eclipses can help to bring us back to what truly matters most. Check your horoscope below (remember to read your rising sign, if you know it, for the most accurate information) to consider what these eclipses might be trying to communicate to you. For those with Aquarius rising, one or more of these eclipses may impact your energy, your motivation, and your appearance, in some way revealing what you need to let go of in order to live more authentically according to this moment in your life. For those with sun in Aquarius, one or all of these eclipses may be helping you to shed a layer of your identity. Something slowly peels away from the persona so that more of you is revealed. For those with moon in Aquarius, one or more of these eclipses may teach you something important about the nature of your body, its needs, and its wisdom. Remember that any planet or point within a couple of degrees of an eclipse will be the most impacted. For this eclipse, it would be planets or points between 25°-29° of Aquarius. In general, we might want to use the eclipse on February 15th to ask ourselves what is unworthy of the space it takes up in our hearts, lives, and especially our minds. Aquarius, the Water Bearer, is the bringer of cool, thirst-quenching and refreshing libations. Usually given out in the form of innovative ideas and humanitarian gestures, Aquarius brings us back to our senses. This eclipse aims to help us do the same. Sextiling Uranus and Mars, this eclipse has the ability to help us to create change. To not only disrupt what has become stagnant, but also to create space for new information to flow to us and through us. The rest of the month is fairly fluid. No retrogrades occur. No major clashes of the titans take place. Mars moves through Sagittarius for all of February and half of March, heating up the part of our chart that contains the free-wheeling fire sign. Mars brings with it the opportunity to work with conflict, but also to move with courage towards what needs our action and energy. Mars is in Jupiter’s sign now, and Jupiter is in Mars’s. They aren’t natural friends. Jupiter opens up new terrain for us to traverse and Mars fights for its own (or invades that of others). But their swapping of domiciles helps us to find a balance between the two. Which opportunities for growth come with a little conflict and how might that thorn in your side teach you how to thrive? Venus also spends some time in a Jupiter ruled sign. Traveling through Pisces, the sign of its exaltation, Venus works its wonders. Here from February 10th through March 6th, Venus delights in all pleasures imaginable. Venus in Pisces will help us to connect, create and combine what we love with what we wish to make more of. Incredibly fertile, Venus in Pisces proliferates, so make sure that you are creating what you want a lot of. Aries & Aries Rising: Love comes into your life this month through the wisdom of those around you. Seek the counsel of elders in your life that choose maturity over conformity. Surround yourself with those that do the hard work and heavy lifting of becoming masters of themselves. Make sure that you are in contact with those that know how to withstand public pressure and are true to themselves no matter the popularity it will win or lose them. The solar eclipse on February 15th reminds you of how important it is to reorganize your social sphere every once in a while. You might need to cleanse your event calendar. Declutter your cohort of colleagues. Realign yourself with the groups and community projects that are a top priority and let the rest, rest for now. Pay attention to the essentials and save the extra time for your own development. With Mars in your 9th house of learning, teaching, traveling and seeking out the meaning that makes life worth living, there are many directions pulling at you. This is a time when your efforts and your visions align. Don’t hold yourself back when thinking about your future. Don’t hem yourself in when pondering what is possible for you. Don’t get stuck thinking that you have to stick within a certain course of action. This is a time for you to color outside the lines. Let yourself imagine what else might be possible, what you might be missing, what you might be cutting yourself off from for fear of failure or rejection. Then move beyond the fear to sense what might be a workable solution for you. When all else fails, pray. Do ritual. Do ceremony. Do something that reminds you that what is up to you can be done by you, but what is out of your control is being held by something holy. Be in contact with it. With Venus in your 12th house of hidden life, good feelings come from the inner work you are able to do. Luxuriate in any peace that you have been able to create within you. Try not to explain it. Dissect it. Deconstruct it. Just appreciate it as much as you can. Like a secret joy. Like something you have for yourself. Like something no one can change, challenge or destroy. Taurus & Taurus Rising: Love yourself enough to know when to edit. Revise. Rework your big plans for life. What version of your career is outdated? What vision of your professional life is in need of a review? What aspects of your professional aspirations are no longer filling you with energy, drive or determination? It’s OK to change your mind. It’s OK to set a new intention for your work in the world. It’s OK if the job/title/situation in your dream scenario is morphing and meandering into some new shape. Shapeshifting is what eclipse season is about. The solar eclipse on February 15th occurs in your 10th house of career and reputation. The thing about this kind of eclipse is that it wants to help you release what isn’t serving your long-term progress. Exfoliate your professional dreams and goals, scrub clean their true purpose, and reveal the simple message you need to put forth so it might prosper. Use this eclipse to (re)commit to it. Just before the eclipse takes place, Venus, your ruling planet, begins its month-long excursion through your 11th house of good fortune and friends. Here from February 10th – March 6th, Venus brings you many pleasures and opportunities to connect to those that want to and are capable of supporting your professional ambitions in generative and generous ways. A mutual benefit wants to happen here, so instead of looking up, think of how you can build across your social networks. Who in your groups is also clarifying their purpose and working towards things that align with your aims? With Mars spending the next month and a half in your 8th house of shared resources, it’s the perfect time to get fired up about the right collaborations. You don’t want just any kind of partnership, you want the ones that will be of the greatest mutual benefit possible. Gemini & Gemini Rising: This month’s solar eclipse sees to it that you remember your right to love your life. Whatever ideas you have developed that get in the way of you knowing that need to go. This eclipse will help you to purge yourself of such sentiments, but it won’t do the heavy lifting for you. It’s up to you to rework your more difficult thought patterns. Your more burdensome beliefs. Your less forgiving philosophies. Our suffering can situate us in such a way that we are more appreciative of the moments of clarity and conscious awareness that visits us. It can help us to study, in greater depth, the beauty that lives in-between striving for what we want and attaining it. It can help us to remember that planning out parts of our life is important, but that listening to how life demands to be lived at any given moment is a more pressing directive to be aware of. February’s eclipse affirms some plans while doing away with others. Let your schedule be un-done by the gods of change. You might find that certain goals have different end games in mind than you are interested in achieving. There is no failure in this, only the success of being able to be true to the moment and what it is asking of you. And it is asking great things of you. With Venus in your 10th house of career from February 10th through March 6th, your professional position is incredibly favorable. Folks will want to work with you, for you, and alongside you more readily. Choose your partners well. This isn’t a make it or break it transit, but it is one that can grease the wheel in such a way that it sends you in an important direction. Notice the career strides that you make this month. Notice what was easy. Enjoyable. Pleasing to your spirit. With Mars in your 7th house of committed partnerships, you’ll be asked to learn a little more about the fine art of arguing. Just make sure that you are clear about one thing in your relationships: would you rather rather be right or would you rather be happy? Sometimes you can’t be both. Sometimes the only right thing to do is be gracious. Reserve your energy for the fights that really matter. Cancer & Cancer Rising: Love is to be found in the meaning that you are able to make out of your experiences. Love is to be found in the processing of your pain, in the way you break it down, in the way you are able to hold a little of it at a time. Love is to be found in the fullness of your experience, by giving yourself permission to find value in the entirety of your journey. Getting what we want is never the point of pursuing a meaningful life. Loving ourselves through the sorrows and the sweetness, as best we can, is. This month reminds you of the importance of unpacking what has caused you anguish or despair, not so that you can wallow there, but so that you can better work with the material your life is made up of. Knowing which of our life experiences can be translated into assets is part of how we move consciously towards our life’s calling. Eclipse season reminds you that it is important to empty out your understanding of what you have to work with from time to time. Most of us get used to our strengths and, dependent on them, we often forget that our growth edges can be incredibly energetic resources to draw from. Notice what you are being challenged to work with, develop and share with others at the moment. If it’s challenging in the right ways, it will motivate you to move beyond your usual limits, creating new channels for success to flow through. With Mars moving through your 6th house of work projects and health issues for the entirety of February and the first half of March, you have much on your plate to accomplish. This should be a time where considerable effort is put towards completing professional tasks. A professional task that is worth that kind of work. You’ll most likely be inspired to take risks so take time to sharpen your tools. Be bold with your work, but do so in a way that takes incredible skill. This is a time to be impressive with your abilities more than your bravado. As Venus travels through your 9th house of teaching, learning, and long-term plans, you are encouraged to enjoy the blessings you have acquired along your path. It’s time to share some of your knowledge, share some of your light, share some of your journey thus far. Especially the lessons that you have learned about love and how to love. Leo & Leo Rising: Love how love changes you. Challenges you to grow up. Encourages you to wake up. This month your relationships, your loves and most precious partners undergo important transformations. These shifts change the nature of your wants and needs. They get you to investigate any demands you might be placing on others, and the demands they may be placing on you. Expectations need to be investigated. Contracts need to be recalculated. Hearts need to be reeducated. Love left unexamined is left to languish. Be more interested in what your important partnerships are growing into rather than what you are getting from them. Be more interested in what they need now rather than what they used to be. Be more interested in what this is helping you to develop rather than how it is inconveniencing you. Because the relationships that are coming to an end will be obvious and explicit. What needs to be released will inform you of its departure. It will not ask for your permission, but it will clarify the importance of what stays. Work with what is with you. As Mars spends the next month and a half in your 5th house of creative pursuits and passionate affairs, you get to experiment with new ways of channeling your energy. Don’t be afraid of the raw emotions. In fact, create space for them to flow. Find projects and pursuits where your rage, hunger, and determination can be put to use. Find the right vehicles for the fuel you’ve got to go on. As Venus rolls through your 8th house of shared resources from February 10th through March 6th, you are able to connect more easily to the funding, collaborators and co-conspirators that you and your projects need. Free your time and energy from what takes more than it gives. Work on respecting the exchanges that have greater ease about them rather then fretting about the ones that leave you frayed. Gather yourself up so that you can give yourself to what works. Virgo & Virgo Rising: Love wants your attention. It wants your celebration. It wants your invitation. Have you asked it on a date lately? Offer to pick it up. Take it out. Dress up for it. Stay out late for it. Situate yourself so that you are in front of it. From February 10th – March 6th, Venus moves through your 7th house of committed partnerships and important relationships. It’s a time where the rock-solids in your life will be more interested in what can be built by sweetness than by stress. Show up for it. Show pleasure a good time. Show your interest to those you find interesting. The returns will be more than you could count. Venus wants to help not only your romantic life, but also your business one. See who in your life is curating creatively sound situations to get in on. To offer your energy to. This is a time that, with hard work, could bring in quite a few mutually beneficial bonuses. And there is much work to do. The eclipse on February 15th highlights the heavy lifting of your daily chores and duties. It points to some of the restructuring that your work life is undergoing or is in need of. There are innovations that are ready to be implemented in your professional projects. Don’t delay. Notice where fear gets in the way of efficiency. Imagine what it would be like to care less about failure. Imagine what it would be like to retire your worry about being liked. Imagine what it would be like to decrease your insecurity about your work, and instead just get busy doing it. What’s the one thing you wish you had less hesitation about doing? Start there and see what the eclipse can help you outgrow and grow into. With Mars spending all of February and March in your 4th house of foundations, home and family, much from the depths gets stirred up over the course of the next month. Feelings that usually lie at the base of your life, like sediment, start to swirl around. This mix of the past and present might make you a little sea-sick at times. Old emotions find their way into the present moment. Historically hot topics sear themselves into the ethers around you. All this is for you to work with. Whether it brings up issues in your present home situation or not, there are worm-hole like explorations that you are being asked to go on. Digging around the past leads you to a clearer understanding of your present. Libra & Libra Rising: Love needs your willingness to give into it. Love needs your consent. Love needs your commitment so that it can actualize in your life. Even the smallest nod in its direction can put its wheels in motion. Let it move towards you. Imagine yourself in front of love. Imagine talking to it. Non-verbally. Non-rationally. Non-linearly. Imagine you are partnered with it. Wherever you are, it is with you. Working through you. Unwilling to leave you to face life on your own. Imagine what you will allow yourself to create when you really believe this. Create in love’s honor. In its likeness. In and with its immense power. This month’s eclipse asks you to review the ways in which you get in the way of your own creativity. When shame overshadows your talent, it is your job to find ways to outsmart its devious devils. You don’t have be healed in order to engage in meaningful work, you just have to be willing to learn how to win at your own games. The solar eclipse helps you to clear out old doubts about your creative capacities so that you can realign yourself with the generative genes you have inherited. What would your ancestors have created had they the option? Who do you feel is with you now, supporting you to strive and thrive in your present and for a long future to come? Leave some space to communicate with the ancient ones this month. Ask for inspiration. Ask for regeneration. Ask for instructions going forward. Give yourself some time to receive what you might otherwise be too busy to notice. And you will be busy. With Mars moving through your 3rd house of daily activity for all of February and the first half of March, you might feel rushed to get things done. Being rushed can often feel like a rush, but remember not to get too intoxicated with being busy. Instead be purposeful. Direct your time and energy towards the things you want to accomplish instead of being directed by the chaos of the day. Set achievable goals for your days while staking claim to your own time. Feed yourself first. From February 10th through March 6th, Venus tries to help you make connections that pivot your professional life towards greater ease and enjoyment. Look for folks that know how to work from a place of appreciation. Gratitude. Joy, even. Look for partnerships or work situations that are pleasing to be a part of and notice the quality of the creations that your unions produce. Scorpio & Scorpio Rising: Love lives wherever generosity is. Love builds a home in all kinds of kindnesses shown. Love multiplies where appreciation resides. Make more ways for love to live through you. With Jupiter moving through Scorpio for the next 9 months, your ability to conceive of the kind of life you want to live is amplified. Take it up on the ride. While Venus moves through your 5th house of pleasure, love and progeny from February 10th to March 6th, it assists with this growth. Here, Venus is a teacher of the fine art of feeling good. A priestess of pleasure. Accept this invitation to embody the burgeoning beauty within. Venus wants to teach you all the ways in which you were born to experience the joy of life. Of body. Of bounty. February 15th’s eclipse wants to help you clean house so that you can make more room for you. It’s asking you to reinvent something about the way you live, within your present situation. With your past reality. With your ability to forgive yourself for what you didn’t know how to deal with. With your ability to do better now that you do. This eclipse highlights relationships between you and your family, or the family dynamics that were embedded in you long ago. Do what you can to understand where they come from. Why they exist. What they might teach you. Focus on what you can do to untangle the threads that constrict your life force rather than support it. Sometimes understanding comes after we have made a firm and final decision to be in support of the solutions that we need. As Mars heats up your 2nd house of finances and livelihood during February and the first half of March, you are in a good position to understand in greater depth your capacity to affect real change in and through your work. Remember that pleasure has a purpose in all your affairs this month. While there may be a little conflict to work through in regards to how you support yourself, the point is to find the most pleasing solution. Go with what is eloquent, simple, and helps you feel the most connected to future possibilities. Sagittarius & Sagittarius Rising: Love awaits you in the still moments. In the depths of your time. In the reflections available in your inner sanctuaries. Keep a part of your heart apart from the chaos of the world this month. Reserve some space within you that is for no one but you. Build a home for yourself in the places that allow you to breathe. Grieve. Gift yourself what the moment calls for. With Venus moving through your 4th house of foundations from February 10th to March 6th, you are given the opportunity to enjoy yourself at home, with family, without worry of missing out. Venus is here to remind you that the greatest blessing you can receive is feeling at peace with yourself no matter what is trying to disrupt or interrupt you. Help yourself tap into these sources of support by supplying your home life with sweet affections. Sing to your plants. Serenade the deities that protect your inner sanctuaries. Give ample amounts of attention to the neglected corners of your castle. Because Mars is moving through your sign all of February and the first half of March, you might feel the need to serve and protect your personal space in ways that support you instead of fighting against something you can’t control. You are being infused with a warrior energy that wants to honor a progressive approach to your growth. With Mars in your sign, there’s also a great motivation to express yourself in energetically authentic ways. You were made to move at your own pace. Others might say you are too fast. Too rash. Too impulsive in your actions, and while that might be true from time to time, there is reason for your way of working. Only you will know when its time to act. Anyone else’s pace is too awkward for you to pursue so don’t waste your time wondering if your timing is off. Just be willing to constantly develop a deep connection to your intuition. Become a master at understanding how your inspiration works, how to trust it and how to follow its instinctual call. This will enable you to move as you need to, making intuitive connections that move you in quantum leaps forward. February’s eclipse wants you to clear your schedule. Take the first two weeks of the month to reorganize your days. What clutter can be removed from your life? What streamlining do you need to get done what you can? What projects have you running in circles getting nowhere? Figure out where you want to go and how you’d like to get there (Joyfully? Thoughtfully? Gratefully?) and then meditate on the ways in which you can do so via unconventional methods. and innovative ways in. Create a new normal. Capricorn & Capricorn Rising: If we want to discover what we are capable of, we have to love and trust ourselves enough to let go of what isn’t supporting our long-term prosperity. Sometimes life will ask us to love ourselves enough to be patient with our process. To love ourselves enough to choose our healing over ideas of worldly success. To remember that our longevity requires it. This month, some part of your work life has to give in order for something greater to have a chance. The new moon/solar eclipse on February 15th is presenting you with the option of reconsidering your relationship to your assets. To your notion of enough. To your understanding of your material potential. Are you giving it a chance to flourish? Are you depleting your resources? Are you doing too much for too little? Meditate on what will liberate your ability to work effectively, efficiently and joyfully. The world will tell you to work yourself weary. Be wary of such paradigms. Be more interested in what releases your pent up energy without exhausting your resources. Knowing how we work and what works best for us is a recipe for successful professional pursuits. Right now some of your energy needs to be working on a project or two that takes you behind the scenes. Mars is moving through your 12th house for all of February and the first half of March. This transit invites you to study something from the inside out. As your motivation shifts, your ability to move towards linear goals may also as well. Give yourself something to dig into. Something to study. Work on. Run with. Something that encourages a deep investigation of your motivations and the directions they lead you in. From February 10th to March 6th, Venus moves through your 3rd house of daily rituals, communications and close friendships. This signals a month of remembering the kind of love that keeps your days running smoothly. Meet up with your faves for a refill. Meet up with your bffs for breakfast. Meet up with the siblings that remind you how to replenish. Keep yourself connected to the many sources of sweetness in your life to counter any confusion about your worth, value or impact on the world. Aquarius & Aquarius Rising: This month helps you to love yourself for reasons you never knew you could. More of you is being revealed because less of you needs to pretend. More of you is being understood because less of you wants to misunderstand. More of you is uninterested in being in situations that are uninspiring because less of you lives in fear of being rejected. Accepting yourself, as radically as you can, is the greatest gift you can give. Both personally and interpersonally. Renounce what isn’t yours. The identities. The problems. The situations. So they can be set free to find their true home. So that you aren’t trying to solve people’s problems for them. So that you don’t confuse being ill-suited to something with being unskilled at it. You aren’t here to be everything to everyone. Find the playgrounds you can delight in. Part ways with the games that are only designed to drag you under. What former identity, desire, or need are you now able to get a little distance from? Which can you separate yourself out from entirely? Who are you done trying to please? Please yourself. Please your Creator. Please your muses and see what magic there is in letting go of what kept the pain at bay. Feel the pain, if it is there. Know that it will pass and you’ll be less afraid to experience your life. Whether it be joyful or sorrowful, one is heightened by the other. Understood by the other. Appreciated because of the other. These are the lessons of February’s new moon/solar eclipse in Aquarius. Because this is a south node eclipse, it is one that wants to help you clear out. Take the water-bearer’s libations as a blessing. As a regenerative and cleansing offering. As a way to realign with yourself. With Mars in your 11th house of social networks and the fortune that they can bring for all of February and the first half of March, you may be challenged to find time to be with the ones you enjoy. If there is a minor separation there, or conflicts that come up, try not to make too much out of it. It may just be part of what helps you to clarify your commitments, realigning yourself with what works better for all involved. With Venus in your 2nd house of resources and income from February 10th – March 6th, this month wants you to take pleasure in all that you are creating at work. Follow the joy. Track the pursuits that provide you a feeling of well-being. Notice what aspects of your work life help you to connect to others and what those connections are capable of creating. Pisces & Pisces Rising: Love yourself for all that you haven’t yet manifested. For all the experiences that have yet to claim you as their vehicle. For all the ways in which the empty spaces in your life are trying to teach you how to have compassion for yourself. Because that is what they are for. Fill the spaces in your life with kindness. With pleasure. With a million tiny joys. A billion subtle smiles. A trillion acts of forgiveness for yourself. What leaves you isn’t a punishment. What you don’t get isn’t a condemnation. What evades you is sometimes an incredible blessing that can only reveal itself over time. Give your grievances time. Give them space. Give them up to a power greater than you. The new moon/solar eclipse on February 15th advises you to do so. Happening in your 12th house of hidden life, this shadowy sun reveals the impacts of wounds inflicted long ago. The spaces they carved out. The messages they left behind. The healing that you are now ready to do. Forgive yourself for what you struggle with. Don’t compound it with shame, guilt or resentment. Release the burden of self-doubt when and where you can and witness an incredible unfolding within you. When we aren’t trying to prove, push, or force our way through the world, the difference in our drive is remarkable. With Mars in your 10th house of career for the next month and a half (all of February and the first half of March) you are bound to make a considerable mark on the world. Mars takes action. It takes initiative. It takes control of the situation and makes its way come high waters and impossible odds. Let your healing drive you forward. Seek out the professional pursuits that challenge you to trust yourself and your life. Go for what is dangerous because it is real. Cuts to the truth. Lives close to your heart. With Venus in Pisces from February 10th – March 6th, you are set up for sweet things. Able to attract many good graces and manifest much attention and connection, Venus in Pisces is known for its ability to love without expectation. It’s incredible fertility lends itself to you. With Mars in your 10th house of ambitious career strides and Venus in your 1st house of self, the end of February will feel much like the beginning of something great. Let the eclipse clear the way for these two to work their wonder.
2 notes
·
View notes
Fuck You Park Jimin - Part 2 ( Final )
Word Count: 10,077
Genre: Smut
Summary: You are an assassin and your target is Park Jimin.
Trigger Warning: Some violence, death, violent sex
You exhaled deeply then rested your head back against the wall. It had been a long day and finally you could relax. You remained seated on the concrete floor with your knees bent to your chest and your cell phone held in front of you. You sat there in the dimly lit room. You typed few last words on in the text message with an image attached.
[You] Terminated *image sent*
[Unknown] Confirming… please wait.
This was the bit you hated the most. You hated the waiting and you hated how you needed to confirm your kill. Being patient wasn’t a key quality of yours. How could they possibly doubt you? However, you don’t blame them now since you failed your last big mission. It took you at least a month to admit that you failed. You tried to track him down again but he was nowhere to be seen after your encounter with him in Paris. It almost became an obsession for you. Every mission after that you ensured you completed the job without hesitation. The failed task made you into a killing machine. You tied all loose ends and ensured that your track was not easily found.
You groaned in frustration even from the thought of him and decided to stand while you waited for your confirmation text message. You slowly stood, feeling your aching muscles from the combat you just endured. With a few pats on your thighs and shoulders, you removed the dust that gathered there from moment ago.
You felt the buzz from the phone. You looked down at your screen and swiped it open. The light from the screen lit up your face and the room around you creating an eerie glow. You opened the message and read it immediately.
[Unknown] Confirmed. $1,000,000 has been transferred.
The corners of your lips curled into a satisfying smile after reading the number of zeros. You quickly checked your bank account through an app to confirm the transfer. They never lied or faked a transfer with you. They always kept their end of the deal each time. But none the less, you always needed to check. Just in case.
“Well I guess it’s time to celebrate. Don’t you think?” You chuckled to yourself after slipping your phone into your back pocket. You looked down to the person who you were talking too. Even though he couldn’t reply, you couldn’t help starting a conversation. You needed to talk to someone to express your celebratory mood.
“So handsome, such a shame.” You ‘tssked’ to yourself in disappointment. You lifted your foot then toed the chin of your victim to shift his head to a better angle in the dim light so you could see his features clearly. He stared blankly at the ceiling as he laid there. His large lips bruised and a trail of blood trickled out of his mouth. Your aim was perfect. Right between the eyes. It was a clean shot that left a tiny black hole. The back of his head however was something else, it wasn’t clean and neither was the wall behind him. Luckily for you, you couldn’t make out the fragments of bone and meat scattered over the wall.
“What was your street name again? Rap Monster?” Of course, there was no reply but you looked down at him with no pity or empathy written on your face.
Without hesitation, you stepped back and away from the lifeless body and left it laying there in an unknown storage room for someone else to discover. You walked out of the old building and walked past an empty parking lot. There you stood for a moment, staring up at the evening sky and feeling the crisp air on your face. For a moment, you felt at peace. You closed your eyes, erasing all memories of the human you just killed then casually walked away into the busy streets of New York.
You had everything planned for the night. You wanted to go to a local bar and drink a few whiskeys then have sex with a stranger to release the stress from the mission. Your body was aching from all the hand to hand combat you had to endure from the so-called Rap Monster. You wanted nothing more than to celebrate another completed mission. However, you received a text message while you were getting ready in your hotel room.
[Unknown] Target: J-Hope
Event: Restaurant Portella at 22nd Street New York City 8pm.
Guest Name: Isabella Donne
Reward: 5,000,000
You stared down at your mobile screen and read the details of the next target. You could opt out if you wanted to, but this mission was different. It was dinner event. The reward was a lot higher than usual, which meant the target was important to the agency. You convinced yourself that it was almost like celebrating. If there’s food then there’s bound to be alcohol. Two completed missions in one night, what could go wrong?
“J-Hope? What kind of name is that?” You asked yourself when you opened the attached image. It was a side profile of a young man with a warm smile. His nose lifted to a point and his eyes beamed in delight. He had chestnut brown hair that was styled in a messy way. You closed the text message then took a deep breath before replying.
[You] I accept
Every time you saw an image of your next target, you always wondered if they knew they were about to die. You wondered If fate or the universe ever gave them a sign to let them know. If it did, it was their own fault for ignoring it. The agency had their own reason to terminate a target and it was your job to complete it.
For your mission tonight you decided to wear a matte black dress. It was tight fitted and reached above your knees. It was a long sleeve dress and its collar was turtle neck. The whole curve of your back was exposed. You wanted to go for a simple, yet sexy look. Even though you were on a mission, it didn’t hurt to at least ‘look’ the part, unlike earlier today where you only wore jeans, shirt and a hoddie. You matched your dress with black heels (They never got in the way when you were in combat) and silver pair of earrings and a clutch. You kept your hair natural for tonight.
**
The taxi slowed down and stopped in front of the restaurant. The cab driver looked at you through the rear-view mirror and bluntly said his price. You glared at him for a moment, internally shocked at how much he over charged you. You clicked opened your purse and pulled out a 50 dollar note and hand it to him with narrowed eyes. You opened the door and slipped out of the cab then slammed the door shut before you made your way up the steps of the restaurant. The night air was crisp and it sent a shiver down your exposed back. The restaurant itself stood out from all the other smaller stores and buildings around the block. It was filled with people and you could tell it was a private event.
You slowly walked up the steps of the restaurant until you reached the door man. He stood there as the gateway to the private event. You had no doubt that the agency put you on the guest list, but you always seemed to wonder how they managed to do it. You figured it had something to do with hacking a computer and adding a name. The security guy was a tall man. He wore a tuxedo, neatly fitted against his broad shoulders. He held a clipboard and a small walkie talkie in the other hand. Once you stood in front of him, he eyed you down as though judging you but you noticed how his gaze lingered on your legs then curves of your hips. He grinned a little, looking slightly impressed. You both found each other attractive, it was obvious. You smirked. Once you complete the mission you took a mental note of the security guy. You wouldn’t mind taking him home tonight to celebrate.
“Good evening madam, your name please?” He said with a smirk.
You smiled sweetly in return.
“Isabelle Donne”
The security guy used the antenna of the small radio and pointed through the list of names on the clipboard. When he saw your ‘name’ he tapped it and smiled then stepped aside.
“Right this way Madam” His arm was stretched out, allowing you to pass him.
You nodded with a soft smile and made your way inside.
The restaurant was filled with fifty or more people. Everyone was still standing and talking in small groups around the tables. You scanned the area quickly and noticed that each table had designated seats with small names printed in gold on folded paper. Each table had silver cutlery and fancy napkins neatly folded on the papers all around the edges of the table.
You turned to the left and saw a large banner with the word ‘congratulations’ on it. You concluded that your target ‘J-Hope’ was celebrating some sort achievement. You had to quickly calculate in your mind, what and why. Your agency didn’t fill in the details, hence why the reward was so high. Tonight, you had to pretend to be someone else and quite possibly get caught if you didn’t do the job right. The stakes were high with so many spectators. Thankfully, you were given a small brief case by an anonymous person on the side of the road when you exited the hotel. Inside was a small lethal injection, and that was the method of kill tonight. If you did have spectators, it wouldn’t look too suspicious. You’ll just have to do your best acting in the situation. You only other weapon was a small blade strapped into your inner thigh.
Casually, you walked passed a few groups of people and wandered around a few tables and luckily enough you saw your ‘name’. A small smile passed your lips, relieved to be sitting near the target. J-Hope’s seat was placed a table away, closer to the banner. You turned your attention to other table, and saw the target. He was laughing and patting a gentleman on the shoulder. He looked happy. You watched his mannerisms and they looked quite animated. He seemed to be explaining some story to a few people with bodily actions, in return they started laughing with him. It was a shame he had to die tonight.
Your attention was then broken by a waiter with a tray filled with wine and champagne.
“Would you like something to drink madam?” asked the young waiter. You turned to him and plucked a glass with two fingers. “Thanks”
The waiter turned and went to another guest, asking the same question. You decided to stay close to your table and place your silver purse on it while you waited for the dinner to begin.
Minutes had passed, by then people started making their way towards their designated seats. You slipped into your seat slowly and kept your gaze to the left where the front of the banner was displayed and your target. You looked back to your table wondering who else would be with you tonight and noticed four other people taking their seats around you. They all nodded or smiled at you as a greeting. You weren’t paying attention to the speech that was being said by J-hope, you wanted to take a mental image of the people sitting with you just in case you had to kill them too as a key witness.
J-Hope cleared his throat which then got your attention again and then be began to say a few greetings to close friends who were on the same table as him. He thanked his co-workers and the company that he worked for. Once he started talking about his parents, his voice started to crack and tears started forming at the corner of his eyes. You could hear a few people whisper ‘aww’ and ‘he’s such a good man’ those comments didn’t sway you one bit. You mindlessly sipped your wine and watched with uninterested eyes.
“And I want to thank my family and my girlfriend Mary for their support. I wouldn’t have been able to achieve this without them” He used the back of his hand to wipe his eyes. He chuckled to himself and flicked his hand at everyone as though dismissing his own emotional moment.
“Let’s eat!” He said with a loud laugh. Everyone clapped and laughed at the tear felt speech. Immediately waiters started coming out of the back kitchen with trays filled with entrees. You took a small sip of your champagne, while watching the waiters serve when immediately you heard someone address you from across the table.
“Isabelle, I don’t think I’ve seen you before. Are you a friend of J-Hopes?”
You turned your attention back to your table and looked at the people who asked you the question. There was a couple seated across from you, an older gentlemen and woman who seemed to be talking amongst themselves and an empty seat to your right.
“Ah yes, well actually a friend of a friend” you faked laughed. They responded with a chuckle.
“Oh I see, how rude of me. My name is Jin and this is my wife Juli” he moved his hand to indicate his wife seated beside him. You looked over at her and smiled, however the gesture wasn’t returned.
“Who’s the friend?” Asked Juli with a quirked brow.
Jin blinked and looked at his wife with an arched brow, he was taken back at her upfront question directed at you. You had to think of something quick.
“He’s somewhere here, I saw him a minute ago” You looked around the venue pretending to look for your ‘friend’ you smiled back at them then sipped your champagne, hoping the answer was satisfying enough.
“Juli is quite protective of J-Hope. That’s her cousin, and quite recently there’s been a few mishaps through his work” Jin smiled then nudged his wife a little with his elbow.
“That’s right, but you hadn’t said the name of this so-called friend yet” Said Juli with narrowed eyes. Her voice was blunt and sounded impatient since you avoided mentioning the ‘friend’s’ name.
Inside you were fuming. You were so close to abandoning your mission and ready kill this bitch instead. You opened your mouth to respond but a gentleman slipped into the empty seat beside you and answered the question.
“That would be me” He said with a smile.
You knew that voice, you knew exactly who it was. You slowly turned your head to the right and saw Park Jimin. He was reaching over the table shaking everyone’s hand with a smile. With his free hand, he ran his fingers through his now blonde hair. He wore a white button-down shirt, black suit jacket and pants. Once he sat down he looked at you then leaned in, holding your arm and placing a small peck on the side of your face as a greeting. You felt how soft his lips felt against your cheek. You couldn’t move, only looking stunned at the man you tried to kill not too long ago.
“It’s nice to see you here Isabelle, I’m glad you could make it.” His eyes turned into half-moons as he chuckled as he leaned back again into his chair. He placed the back of his hand on his mouth, coving his exposed teeth as he laughed at the thought of seeing his old friend.
“I think it’s been over a year since I’ve seen you?!” He said with his pretend story.
How does he know my alias?
“Yes it has, it’s nice to see you too” You said bluntly but put on the fakest smile possible. You both turned and looked at the couple and the others around you on the table. Juli seemed to be satisfied with Jimin’s answer and started talking quietly to the older gentlemen next to her while her husband and others started conversing about J-Hope and the dinner menu.
Your heart was beating fast. Your mind was running a million miles per hour, you began calculating possible situations. You knew that there were exactly four exits at this venue. You could leave this place within ten seconds if you wanted too. Your target was at least ten steps away from you and all you needed to do was inject the painless needle to the side of his neck. That was your plan, but now Park Jimin was here and you wanted to know why. He was your failed mission and you could quite easily use the needle and inject him instead. You figured J-hope can live for another day.
The entrees started being served on your table. It was a savoury onion tarte with balsamic glaze. You eyed the silver cutlery around you and saw a steak knife as one of your knives to be used for tonight’s menu. The only weapon closest to you, if you could call it that, but so was your lethal injection. You did have the other weapon on you but it was strapped on and hard to access in this situation.
You lifted your right hand from off your lap and moved it slowly and discreetly towards the side of your plate. You darted your eyes at Jimin. He seemed to be distracted. He moved his body way from you and was talking to a man standing beside him and conversing about an old friend. Slowly, you smoothed your hand over the table cloth till your fingers almost reached the edge of the knife handle when suddenly a pale hand moved and gripped your hand. The pale fingers that had a few silver rings was laced above yours. Jimin pressed your hand down hard onto the table, keeping a tight grip. He was still looking away from you, talking casually to the gentleman. He ended the conversation with the man and then looked back at you. You saw the change of his face from a serious conversation into a grin as he looked at you. He leaned in close to your body but you watched his hand on yours as he spoke.
“Easy there… what are you doing Isabelle?” He asked softly, only for your ears to hear.
You moved your head and looked at him with narrowed eyes “I’m here for a mission, obviously. If you get in my way I’ll kill you too” You said through gritted teeth.
Jimin’s lips turned into a wider smile. His teeth were perfect white. He kept his grip tight and his thumb was now rubbing over the small scar he left on you hand from your previous encounter with him.
“Well, technically I could kill you too.” He added. Jimin lifted a brow at you, curious as to what you’d say and do next.
“And? As long as I complete my mission my life doesn’t really matter.” You replied sharply. The corner of your lips twitched in annoyance.
You looked over Jimin’s shoulder, then to the people around you, hoping others couldn’t hear you.
Jimin slowly let go on your hand and chuckled “Spoken like a true assassin” He licked his lips slowly at you then eyed his dish and grabbed his fork and knife and began cutting into his food. One moment he was in assassin mode, the next he was a regular customer at a restaurant.
You watched how his slender fingers worked over the silver cutlery then cutting into the pastry.
“Sorry about your hand by the way, I didn’t think it would leave a scar” He said softly without looking at you. He placed a piece of the tarte in his mouth. You looked away before he had a chance to see you staring at him as he chewed.
“Fuck you.” You spat out softly for only his ears to hear. You grabbed your fork and knife and started jabbing your food quite roughly, imagining it being Jimin’s face. If he could sit here and pretend to be a regular member of society for tonight, then so could you. If you couldn’t kill him right now, you had to wait till the time was right.
Jimin grinned to himself when he heard your comment as he chewed. He heard you perfectly clear but he wasn’t so fazed about it. The night was still young and he was just glad to be sitting next to you. The last encounter he had with you, didn’t turn out to his favour. He cut a few more pieces and placed the tarte in his mouth then grabbed his wine and took a small sip to wash down the food. Without it being obvious, Jimin started to stare at you while you cut into your food.
You munched on your food while you thought of possible ways of killing Park Jimin that was beside you. You could just turn around now and jab his eye with a knife but that was too obvious. Or you could choke him to death. You also hoped the food he was chewing on would choke him instead, that would save you the trouble and time. Jimin sitting beside you was a reminder of how you failed, and a failure at doing your job. You hated the man, and you wanted to kill him so you could tie loose ends and finally sleep better at night. Suddenly, you remembered the kiss he gave you. You had an idea.
You finished your entre and placed the cutlery down gently over the white plate then looked over at him. Jimin was already finished and was drinking on some more wine. He was eyeing you the whole time. His pink lips turned into a small smile when your eyes locked.
“Why did you kiss me?” you asked. You placed the rim of your own glass to your lips and took a sip while you watched his reaction. Jimin arched a brow at your question.
“Heat of the moment I suppose.” He shrugged as though it was nothing then sipped his drink again. Jimin turned his neck to the side and cracked it. You watched him closely. His eyes half closed from the relief then looked back at you. He grinned before he spoke again.
“Did you enjoy it?” he asked with a chuckle.
You bit your lower lip in thought then nodded. “I did.” you lied. Men like Jimin was so predictable. If you confess on enjoying something they did on you, men think you’re poddy in their hands.
Jimin’s face changed, he wasn’t expecting that answer. His brows frowned a little in confusion then looked a little surprised. You moved your hand under the table and reached over to his thigh. You figured if flirting will somehow get you to bend Park Jimin at your will, or at least get some answers out of him. ‘whatever works’ you thought.
You grasped his thigh tightly using your nails. You felt how thick and hard his thigh felt under the palm of your hand. Jimin flexed his thigh muscle and watched your reaction with a grin. You gasped at the feel of his moving muscle. You weren’t expecting that. Your stomach rolled in discomfort. Surely you still had the upper hand? The feel of his thick thigh however made you close your thighs tighter in discomfort.
Jimin licked his lower lip then held a large grin. He wasn’t fazed at all from your hand being on his thigh. His dark eyes scanned your face, your lips then back to your gaze again. He was enjoying this. He loved how you held onto him under the table despite the chance of being caught.
Jimin placed his glass down, then leaned close to your ear. His chest touched your shoulder as he sat there next to you. He also slipped his hand under the table and placed it above your hand that was holding on his thigh.
“I know what you’re trying to do Y/N. Two can play at this game.” He whispered. He moved your hand further up his thigh till it almost reached his crotch. Jimin continued talking, his voice was smooth as it washed over your skin. His eyes scanned your features, watching the discomfort on your face. He noticed your thighs pressed tightly together.
“You are not killing anyone tonight Y/N, Not J-Hope, not me, not anyone.” Jimin whispered into your ear. He moved your hand up his thigh again. This time it was over the bulge in his pants. Your eyes widen from what you felt but also from the words that came from his mouth. You moved your head a little and looked closely at him. You and Jimin were almost nose to nose. He was staring at your lips then to looked back into your eyes again. His plump pink lips felt so inviting.
You immediately snatched your hand back from his grasp. Now you knew why he was here. He was going to stop your mission.
You stood up suddenly and cleared your throat. Jimin moved his body back as you stood, and looked up at you with narrowed eyes. You looked around the venue, thinking what was your next move. The deadly assassin that once worked for your agency was sitting right next to you, and he just told you that he was going to stop you. Which meant, he will kill you.
“Excuse me” You said to everyone with a calm composure.
It was perfect timing. J-Hope and a few of his friends also stood up while having a conversation. His group made his way to the back of the restaurant and was heading outside through a back exit. You assumed they were leaving for a smoke break or just time out from the many people around them. This was your chance to fulfil your mission.
You slipped passed a few seats and tables, excusing yourself along the way to some annoyed guests. You looked back at your table from the distance. Jimin remained seated as his ran his fingers through his hair looking frustrated. His eyes narrowed slightly and watched you move away to the back of the restaurant. You saw Jimin press both of his hands on the table and stood up as he eyed you. You quickly headed to the back of the restaurant and to the exit. You needed to be fast.
You pushed the back door and made your way to a small hallway with doors on either side. Two doors were labelled the rest room and others were unknown or possible the storage rooms. At the end of the hallway you saw J-Hope and his friends exit outside into the dimly lit parking lot. You broke into a small sprint, you could hear your high heels clicking against the tiled floor. Suddenly a hand grabbed your arm and pulled you back with force.
You stumbled on your feet and were slammed against the wall behind you. You gasped for air from the sudden impact. It was Jimin. He stepped close and pinned you to the wall with his body at first. You looked at him closely with a furious look on your face. You almost had your target. Jimin moved back a little and placed one hand at the side of your head to rest his weight while the other reached in to his inside chest pocket and plucked out something for you to see.
“Looking for this?” He asked with a grin. You were about to retaliate with a punch to his stomach but once you saw the needle twirling in his fingers, you paused. He stole the lethal injection from you. He somehow managed to take it off you. You placed both of your hands on his firm chest and was about to push him off you when he continued to talk as calmly as ever.
“The CCTV is on by the way.” He smiled. His dark eyes scanned your face closely as he talked. Jimin was so intrigued by you. He quirked a brow, then darted his eyes once in the upper corner of the hallway ceiling to indicate what he meant.
You gave him a death stare and replied, “It’s been turned off.” You didn’t bother looking up at the camera. You knew it was turned off.
“I turned it back on just earlier, see for yourself” Jimin grinned, enjoying how confused you must feel. Jimin leaned off his hand that was on the wall and reached to one of your hands on his chest and held softly. “Wouldn’t be much of an assassin if you left a trail.” He added.
Your hands remained on the centre of his chest, each palm against a pictorial muscle. You slowly lifted your eyes and saw the black camera at the corner of the ceiling behind Jimin. The red light was turned on and blinking. He was right, it was turned on. He must’ve turned it back on to ensure you would accidently leave a trail. If anyone was watching the CCTV cameras on the other end, it would look like a couple just flirting or about to fuck at the back of the restaurant. You concluded It didn’t look too suspicious.
While you were staring up at the camera you didn’t notice Jimin leaning in over your face and resting the bridge of his nose on the length of your neck. He slowly moved it upwards, taking in a long inhale then exhale before staring at you, eye to eye.
“I’ve been thinking about you ever since our last encounter. Really, I am sorry about that scar.” Jimin said softly. You could hear the sincerity in his voice. Jimin leaned his face back a little to stare at your entire face. He wanted to take in the details, to imprint his memory. He didn’t know when he’ll see you next. You noticed how his pale fingers wrapped around your wrist gently, those dark eyes and his full pink lips. You examined his blonde hair and the style, how the edges of his fringe fell over his eyes perfectly. You couldn’t help but realise how attractive he really was. And the view from this close just made him look even more heavenly. There was something about him but you couldn’t put your finger on it. He was so inviting. Jimin moved in to your face slowly with his eyes almost half lidded. You reached up slowly with one hand and held the back of his neck, digging your nails into his hair. You hated him but he looked so perfect right now. You just wanted to taste the infamous Park Jimin. You lifted your face a little for your lips to attach to his. You felt his soft lips briefly touch yours.
A gun shot was heard.
Immediately you both froze then looked towards the direction of the gun shot. It came from the parking lot outside. You reacted by slipping away from Jimin’s grasp and running towards the exit. You wanted to know what happened. Was your target already dead? If so then by whom?
You ran as fast as you could to the exit. Jimin was right behind you. He grabbed you by the waist and pushed you swiftly into one of the open rooms from the hallway and slammed the door shut. You opened you mouth to protest, but he immediately cupped your mouth tight. He backed you against the closed door and leaned in with his weight, placing a finger over his lips with his free hand to indicate for you to be quiet. You furrowed your eyebrows together and looked at him with dagger eyes. You instinctively held his arm that was cupping your mouth, wanting it to be pulled off but his grip was too firm.
Jimin snapped his head to the side and narrowed his eyes, trying to listen through the door. You had a close view of his sharp jawline and how his neck muscles flexed and relaxed as he concentrated. The moment you heard footsteps running down the hall, your grip of Jimin’s arm relaxed a little. You also wanted to hear what was happening outside. The footsteps got closer then stopped.
“Where did she go?” said a male voice.
“I’m pretty sure she was following us. Unless she’s behind one of these doors?” said another male voice.
“Nah, I would’ve seen it.” Said the first male voice again.
“Fuck! We were supposed to lure her in and kill her too. Now she’s gone. What the fuck are we supposed to do now?” Said the second male voice.
“Look, at least the main target is dead. We’ll just tell the Agency that she got distracted by some guy at the table and failed the mission. It’s not the first time she failed a mission anyway.” The comment stung you a little.
“She wouldn’t know what’s going on any way.” Said the first male voice. He sounded a little more hesitant now.
“We need to get going, before someone finds the body. Let’s go!” Spoke the first male voice again. Suddenly the two sets of footsteps started running and disappeared down the hall. Moments later a loud female scream could be heard from outside.
Jimin immediately let go of your mouth and stepped back. He looked at you seriously “We need to get going right now” His eyes were wide and determined to leave.
You didn’t look at Jimin. You stood there, zoned out and feeling absolutely lost from what you just heard. It appears you were also a target. By your own agency? You lowered your eyes to the floor in disbelief. How could they possibly do this to you?
“Are you listening Y/N?, we need to go NOW!” Jimin now looked annoyed. He reached over and pulled you forward and away from the door by your wrist. You stumbled from the forceful tug. He opened the door and lead you both outside into the dark parking lot through a different exit.
Jimin kept his hard grip on your wrist and continue to pull you into the dark. At this point, you were a walking zombie. Your mind had turned into mush from everything you just heard. You didn’t what to do or what to say. The next thing you knew you were inside a car.
Jimin slipped into the driver’s seat with urgency and pushed the engine button on. He adjusted himself into the leather seat then buckled himself in. With one hand on the wheel and the other gripping the back of your seat, he backed up the car then turned the car into a side street. The car sped down a few more streets then onto the main highway.
You watched the lights of the highway as they buzzed passed you. The lights illuminating the interior of the car for only moments then falling back into darkness again. There was silence. For the first time in your life, you didn’t know what to do. You saw other cars pass, each having a clear destination, but what was yours?
Jimin’s voice started to come to your attention. He looked over at you for a second then back at the main road, looking concerned each time.
“Y/N, are you alright? Look it’s hard to explain everything right now but I was at the event for a reason. And it wasn’t to kill you, or your target.” He sighed then looked over at you again. His face changed to more of a worried expression since you didn’t respond. He slammed his palm on the steering wheel with frustration. “Fuck!” He spat out.
The sudden noise and words from Jimin made you jump. Jimin ran a hand through his blonde hair with furrowed eyes as he concentrated on driving. “I can’t believe he’s dead!” he spat out. Moments passed before Jimin spoke again, but a little softly this time.
“Hey..” Jimin used his free and hand reached over, touching your shoulder. He shook you a little to get your attention again. You didn’t reply but turned your head slowly to look over at him. Your face was expressionless.
“Y/N, what I’m saying is that I was there to save you. I knew what was going to happen, and I couldn’t let them do it.” He added softly. You blinked in response then turned your attention to window again, watching the scene change once more. The outside scenery looked more industrial now.
“You’re in shock Y/N” added Jimin.
Being an assassin was your identity. The agency now saw you as rogue. You were a wanted person, there was a target on your head. You were now like Park Jimin.
The car came to a sudden stop. Everything was a blur until you stood at an entrance of Park Jimin’s domain. It looked like a large studio apartment with an industrial concept. The wiring, the bricks and pipes where still exposed but the furniture was modern and sleek. On one side of the studio floor was large desk with eight computer screens attached together. Programs where running on its own, including coding and other things which looked complex from afar. Near the desk was a large stainless-steel kitchen with a few stools around the bench. You noticed there were no exits besides the one that you entered from and the large arched windows on one side of the apartment. On the far side was a bed that was closed off by a folded wall divider.
Jimin walked passed you and sighed. He shrugged off his suit jacket and tossed it on the kitchen bench next to him. He reached into the back of his pants and pulled out a gun and placed it next to the blazer. He didn’t know what to do. His plan was to save you, but anything after that wasn’t planned. Jimin scanned his place, thinking about the next step he should do. He ran his fingers through his hair while he thought of a plan. He could keep you in hiding, while things cooled down at your agency then when the moment was right, he’d let you go and fend for yourself. He was so intrigued by you. You were different from the others he’s crossed paths with or even killed, but something inside you was still ‘human’. You were just like him.
Jimin turned around to face you. He was about to suggest something but suddenly stood there wide eyed. There you were, pointing his gun directly at him with two shaking hands. He saw the confusion in your eyes. He understood, he went through the same thing when the agency turned on him.
“How do I know this isn’t just an elaborate plan of yours huh?!” You shouted as you jabbed the gun in the air, prompting Jimin to answer you. You quickly looked around the place then back at Jimin with hesitant eyes. You thought you were in a trap. You thought agents would come out from left and centre and kill you.
Jimin was standing there with his hands slightly up. He knew he was fast, but he wasn’t that fast to dodge a bullet. You swallowed hard, waiting for him to answer.
“I know what it looks like. But you must trust me Y/N. They’re after you, and I don’t know why” Jimin pursed his lips in a tight line. He didn’t make any sudden moves, hoping that you wouldn’t accidently shoot him out of fright. He wanted you to believe him.
You inhaled a shaky breath and let it out slowly as you made you way across the large floor. The gun was till pointed at Jimin as you examined the place. He slowly turned to face you, keeping his body in full view with his hands up.
“Park Jimin, the rogue assassin doesn’t know?” You mocked him then looked at him with a sneer “That’s a first” you added.
Jimin clenched his jaw tight. Right now, wasn’t the time for him to get cocky. He knew you had the upper hand and his life was for you to decide. He kept quiet while you walked around his place. You kept his gun pointed at him while you looked through the main area, the kitchen and the brief look towards the bedroom.
“If you don’t believe me, why don’t you check it out for yourself” Jimin said calmly. He pointed to the computer area with his chin. You turned your head and looked over at the large desk with the many screens. You figured this was where Jimin hacked into the cameras to turn them back on, and somehow figured out your mission for tonight.
Jimin took this opportunity to lunge at you and grab the gun off you. When you looked back at Jimin it was too late, he was already too close and at your side. He grabbed your wrist and wacked the gun off you. You heard it crash to the ground and slide across somewhere on the wooden floor. You immediately stepped back before Jimin tried to grab your full body. You leaned back and snapped out your leg out and tried to kick him straight in the head with the heel of your shoe. Jimin pulled his head back in time and grabbed your leg and tugged it suddenly, causing you to lose your balance. He swiped his foot on the floor and tripped you.
You crashed onto your back with a loud thud. A groan escaped from your mouth. You lay there on the floor then instantly saw Jimin move over you and sat on your hips, grabbing each of your wrists and pinning them above your head. He leaned into your face with a furrowed brow and yelled “Can’t you see that I’m helping you?!” His nostrils flared and breathed out with a huff then leaned back a little to watch you squirm under him. You winced in pain from the landing. You tried to wriggle out of his grip and from under him but he was too strong. You shouted back with your head lifting off the floor “I don’t need your fucking help! No one asked you to help me.”
You couldn’t look at Jimin. Not only were you struggling from his grip but you had a mental battle going inside your mind. You felt so confused. What if your agency would take you back if you killed Park Jimin right now? You can complete your failed mission. Park Jimin was the agency’s most wanted criminal. The thought alone gave you enough strength to body roll under Jimin’s waist causing him to lose balance and grip of your wrist. You lifted your chest and head to headbutt him on the nose. Jimin groaned from the sharp pain. He reached for his nose but was stopped by you rolling over and pinning him onto the ground. You swapped positions. Within those seconds you had time to reach into your inner thigh and slip out your blade. You didn’t pin Jimin’s hands, you only held the slick blade to his neck while he pinched the bridge of his nose. You saw a trickle of blood from his nostril. He thumbed it quickly to wipe it away.
Jimin went stiff when he looked down a little and felt a blade resting on his Adam’s apple. His hands flopped to the ground and sighed at he looked up at you and saw you straddling him. You both were breathing heavily from the quick combat you just endured. The situation reminded you of when Jimin rested his blade on your face during your first encounter. You remembered what he said.
“You said I needed to know the truth. Tell me.” You pressed the blade further into his skin with a sneer.
Jimin licked his lips nervously then spoke quietly. “The agency isn’t who you they say they are” He blinked and watched you above him. The view he had of you was a woman still in her black dress, your hair messed slightly but your body tense and your thighs tightened on his waist.
“Explain” You said with narrowed eyes.
“They give us assignments to kill good people. The people we kill, the people you’ve killed are good people Y/N. The agency is run by rich fuck tards, wanting chaos so they get money” He frowned a little at the thought of those innocent people dead.
You winced at the idea of the agency being the bad guys. The people you worked for all your life since you were sixteen. What if Jimin was right? What if this whole time you were lied to? If Jimin really wanted to kill you, he could of countless of times at the restaurant or even when you both were alone at the back of the building. He could’ve killed you in his car. But he didn’t.
Jimin watched your facial expressions and he continued to talk very softly.
“I did my own little research while I worked for them. Once I found out the truth, they turned on me. I had to escape fast before anyone could find me. Until, a month ago.” Jimin paused then hesitantly moved his hands. This caused you to jerk your hand forward and threatened to slice his throat open right then and there, but Jimin continued to move his hands till it rested on your hips and held it softly. You darted your eyes at your hips then back to him, looking furious.
“Until I month ago. You found me. No one else could this whole time” He bit his lower lip nervously then continued. “I’ve heard of you Y/N and you are the very best they have. And so was I. When I found out their goal, I needed to intervene.”
You breathed heavily “And if what I believe you, then what?” The grip on your glade loosened a little.
“I don’t know, I honestly didn’t have a plan b after stopping them” He said truthfully.
You laughed suddenly at his confession. Here you were on top of the infamous Park Jimin and hearing him confess to not knowing what to do was hilarious. You leaned back and sat on him with the thin blade slowly twirling between your fingers as you spoke. A reminder to Jimin that you still had the upper hand.
“And you call yourself an assassin? First rule, you ALWAYS need a next plan. An infinite number of plans. You’re not very good then are you?” You narrowed your eyes down at Park Jimin, watching him stare up at you with also narrowed eyes. He didn’t look too impressed from your insult. His dark eyes darted from your face to your body, seeing you straddling him perfectly over his crotch. You saw this and parted your lips in slight shock but then spoke firmly.
The mood in the room changed.
“I could kill you right now Park Jimin” You licked your lips then playfully moved the blade to his face, tracing the point over his mouth then pressed the flat of the blade over his plump bottom lip.
“I know” said Jimin with a firm voice.
“And I could’ve killed you at the restaurant too if I wanted to” You watched his lips move over the blade. You began to move the blade down his pale neck, scratching his skin slightly. Jimin stiffened a little. His hands on your hips tightened.
“I know” he said again while staring up at you with dark eyes. With a quick strike, you cut off the first button on his collar. His neck was now exposed. Jimin licked his lips slowly. You plucked off the following button and saw the hollow of his neck. The corner of your lip curled into a small smirk. You enjoyed the situation. The famous assassin now under your control. Or so it seemed. You were about to flick off the next button off when suddenly Jimin sat up, gripping your waist and pulling you closer to his body with a grunt. There you both were, chest to chest staring at each other with shallow breaths. Your hand was close to his face with the blade. You raised your hand, attempting to strike but Jimin gripped your wrist and twisted it in such a manner that you had to let go of the weapon with a soft whine. The blade toppled and landed somewhere on the floor around you.
Jimin ran his hands up and down your exposed thighs with a grin “You shouldn’t be throwing insults to someone who just saved your life.” He looked at your lips closely and noticed how you bit it before you spoke.
Now you were furious “Shut up!” You reached forward with both hands and gripped his blonde hair in tight fists and leaned in, crashing your mouth over his plump lips. Jimin welcomed the kiss with a groan. His hands stopped moving over your thighs when you touched his lips. He suddenly gripped your hips again and pulled you down into his waist and crotch. You both opened your mouths and kissed deeply and repeatedly, tilting your heads left and right wanting to taste each other with desperation.
You broke the kiss first with a gasp to get air and leaned back a little to stare at him lustfully. You reached down to his white buttoned-down shirt and saw how it only exposed his collar bone. With both hands, you gripped the white material and ripped it open “Let’s see what you’re made of Park Jimin” you said breathlessly. A loud tear was heard. Jimin smirked as you both looked down at his well-toned chest. His abs rippled as he moved under you. You were in awe at the sight. You threw his shirt back over his shoulders to expose his large arms. Jimin obliged, letting you undress him quickly.
“You’ll be surprised” Jimin said with a grin. His hands moved up your thighs quickly and under the edge of your dress. He gripped the edges and pulled it up and over your body. You raised your arms in the process and allowed him to throw the clothing somewhere in the room. Jimin leaned back and cupped the underside of your bra as he spoke, admiring how you looked in your red underwear.
“When I first saw you, I thought you were so fucking hot” He breathed out heavily. You closed your eyes slowly from the small compliment and hummed in approval. You leaned back and rested your hands on his thighs and starting to roll your hips to rub your crotch over his black suit pants. You felt the bludge between your thighs as you moved.
“I heard so many things about you, and I told myself that I need to find out for myself” Jimin continued to talk then ended it with a groan, watching you roll your body skilfully over his groin. You licked the corner of your lips then reached forward as you locked eyes with Jimin. With needy fingers you starting unbuckling his belt then his pants. You Pulled out the belt from his pants like a whip then threw it away over your shoulder. Jimin leaned forward once the belt was gone and his pants was undoe. He planted a soft kiss over neck and left open mouthed kisses. He left wet trails over the length of your neck. You moaned from the soft feeling of his hot mouth. You wrapped your arms around his neck and drew him closer to your body. Suddenly a sharp pain was felt and you cried out with a whine. You eyes widened from the pain. Jimin bit you hard. In reaction, you clawed down his toned back sharply and Jimin hissed near your ear.
“You feisty bitch” He whispered. He wrapped both of his arms around your waist suddenly and began to stand and lift you. You instantly wrapped your legs around his waist as he held you. Jimin’s pants fell to his ankles once he stood and stepped out of it. He made his way towards his bed while you latched onto his mouth, kissing him desperately. He filled your mouth with hot moans as he kissed you back with tongue. Jimin reached to his bed and forcefully threw you on the bed. You landed with a bounce. You crawled backwards on the bed slowly as you watched Jimin smirk and stare at you. He licked his lips as he watched you waiting for him. His cock was hard a while back when you first straddled him, but now seeing you there in your red lingerie made his cock twitch. He didn’t move onto the bed as you expected, he walked over to one of the bed and stood there. You eyes followed carefully.
“Lay on your back” He said with lidded eyes and a deeper voice than usual. You moved to the edge of the bed and did as you were told. Jimin ran his fingers through his hair once as he watched you then grinned, satisfied with your obedience. He leaned down and gripped under your arms and slid you closer, till your head almost hung at the edge of the bed. He looked down at you, seeing your face near his crotch and thighs as he stood. You smoothed your hands over your body slowly, giving your breasts a tight squeeze while Jimin watched you.
“Open your mouth” Jimin reached to his briefs and pulled out his hardened cock and slid it straight into your warm wet mouth. Your head hung off the edge of the bed as he began to mouth fuck you.
“Ah fuck” he said breathlessly. He could feel your throat muscles work and saw it ripple with your neck stretched out and under him. Jimin gripped the base of his cock with one hand and held open your mouth by the chin with two fingers. He watched his cock disappear into the length of your mouth. “You feel so fucking good. Stick out your tongue” He moaned. You did as you were told and closed your eyes. You mouth filled with his cock and it felt amazing. You used one hand and gripped onto this thick thigh, digging your nails into his skin. You reached down to your own pussy and started fingering yourself slowly. The act itself made you wet, you could slide your finger in and out with ease. Jimin pumped his hips a few more times into your mouth but stopped once he saw you pleasuring yourself. He slid hid cock out and slapped your cheek playfully “Let me help you with that” Jimin moved over to the bed and pulled on your ankle so your body was fully laying on the bed for him. He moved between your legs and spread them wide. You quickly unhooked your bra and threw the useless thing away. You popped onto your elbows and watched him. “That’s right, don’t be a selfish fuck. Eat me out Park Jimin” You said with narrowed eyes but a smirk played over your mouth. Jimin gave you a threatening stare but obeyed. He laid down onto his stomach and wrapped his arms around your thighs and spread them. At first, he kissed your inner thighs, planting wet trails here and there. The with one finger he pulled aside your panties to expose your wet core.
He took in a long inhale, then looked up at you with licked lips. He didn’t say a word but kept his eyes on you as he planted a long agonising lick up your wet slit. Jimin watched your reaction. Instantly you rolled your eyes back to a close and moaned. “Ahh..” you said breathlessly.
Jimin licked up and down your slit a few times then paid attention to the soft bud. He twirled his tongue around repeatedly then began to suck. You started to buck your hips up into his mouth from the pleasurable feel. “Don’t fucking stop”
Jimin held down your hips by plating his arm across your stomach. With his free hand, he slipped two fingers into your hole and started fucking you. He curled his fingers to reach the sweet spot and stimulated it. Sharp pleasures started forming inside you and you knew you were close. You didn’t want to come just yet. You suddenly bended one knee up and planted the foot on Jimin’s shoulder and pushed him off you with a forceful kick.
“I don’t want to come on your mouth!” You sneered with heavy breathing. Jimin almost fell off the bed. He immediately sat up right and was looking furious. His neck muscles rippled.
“You want to come with my cock inside you don’t you huh?” He said angrily as he gripped your ankles and pulled you close to his frame. Jimin leaned forward and held your wait and suddenly flipped you over onto your stomach. He pulled up your hips, causing you lift your ass up in the air. Before you had time to adjust, he reached for your wrists and pulled them back, crossing them over on your back.
“You’re so fucking bossy” without warning he pushed himself into drenched hole. You gasped out loud and groaned, feeling his cock stretching you out perfectly. He thrusted again as he spoke.
“No wonder they want to get rid of you” He grunted. Jimin bucked his hips into you repeatedly. He watched your body jerk forward on the bed with each thrust. Jimin had a grip of your wrists with one hand and used it as leverage as his fucking became faster.
“Ah Jimin, fuck!” You gasped out.
Jimin slapped your ass hard with his other hand. A sharp pain was felt but soon disappeared and drowned away from his cock hitting you in the right spot. Jimin leaned down and let go of your crossed wrists. Instead he reached for a fist full of your hair and pulled it toward him.
“Your pussy is amazing.. ah!” Jimin groaned. He tilted his head back with rolled eyes, relishing in the feeling of you.
You arched your back while moving to all fours and started bucking your hips into him. Jimin reached under your arms and cupped one breast and started squeezing it. He began twirling your bud between two fingers as he fucked you in a slower pace at first. The same pleasurable feeling started coming back and you knew you were close.
“Keep going, fuck. I’m almost there” You breathed out. In perfect timing, Jimin let go of your breast and gripped your hips with both hands. He started bucking his hips so fast, the slapping of skin intensified. Jimin looked down at you with lidded eyes and watched the side of your face move against the mattress and sheets.
The bubble of pleasure started rolling through you from between your legs. You groaned out “Fuuuckk.. Jimin!” Jimin could feel your pussy walls clench through your orgasm.
“Fuck, your pussy is so tight” He groaned. His thrusts were hard and deep, letting your orgasm wash over. Jimin couldn’t hold out any longer and with one last push he came inside you. His deep thrusts started filing you with his hot seed.
“Ah fuck.” He groaned with lidded eyes.
You became a hot mess under him. Your body slowly became limp as Jimin rode out his own orgasm. He gave a few last thrusts into your throbbing pussy then pulled out with a sigh. Jimin collapsed next to you with a groan. Your body tingled as you moved around to lay on your back. Both of your bodies were coated in sweat. The only sound was you and Jimin’s heavy breathing. Minutes passed in silence.
“ I guess..” you breathed out, then turned your head to face him. Jimin blinked slowly and looked at you with a quirked brow. “I guess, we’re both wanted now” You said with a grin.
Jimin’s pink lips turned into a grin too. He reached over to your waist and pulled you into his chest. His dark eyes scanned your naked body, admiring your curves “I guess we are”
151 notes
·
View notes
Some Tarot stuff x Servamp thoughts
So I was thinking of the Tarot cards recently (I blame you @spritesoulmist) and I couldn’t help but remember some Servamp related stuff (courtesy of Neverland boi’s recent birthday cuz it was eveRYWHERE- //cough). More specifically on the C3 arc.
If we look back at the chapters we can see some Major Arcana cards as their titles: namely
ch.41: The Magician
ch.47: The Tower
ch.50: The Hanged Man
ch.52: The Chariot
ch.59: Strength
Now we know how much symbolism and thought Tanaka-sensei puts in the whole plot now yeah? Things, words, events, and characters can be premonitions for something to come soon…
//cough… Anyways, here’s the stuff we came up with. Take note I’m not an expert on Tarot readings and meanings, so these are things I checked up on my book. Also these are just tiny speculations and meanings I thought of so don’t take ‘em seriously =v=)
Also, hear this out. Tarot card readings, depending on which kind of reading you are doing, would have two meanings to it—The upright meaning of the cards and… of course… the reversed meaning. I’m gonna put both interpretations in relation with the events happening in the manga, but the reversed interpretations may not be accurate, sooooo… yeahhhhp
The Magician
UPRIGHT:
This chapter doesn’t particularly zoom in on one character (as compared to The Hanged Man as Tsurugi and The Chariot as Junichirou; sadly it doesn’t have much for Yumikage for it) and focuses on the three magicians, or C3, as a whole. The Magician Tarot card talks about, of course, magic– illusions. It serves as the bridge between the spirits and the humans, and as C3 in Servamp’s case: the vampires and the humans. It also represents, in summary: solutions, aspiration, and capabilities– probably as a reference to C3′s organization as a whole.
REVERSED:
Magic used wrongly. Abilities used to gain a negative end for personal satisfaction or plots. This may be an indication of the plan Touma has “ever since Tsubaki escaped”. It can also mean being out of touch with reality (and being more in the world of magic?), which could also an indication of Tsurugi’s condition that made him “not hear the alarm”.
The Tower
UPRIGHT:
Tbh, this is the reason why I’m making this post. The Tower Tarot card signifies ambitions that leads to a disastrous ending or a sudden destructive change. wqjiodnasdpansddq– If we think of Servamp… well… nwjqlebnsaodasd okay, with those two meanings in mind, let’s look at the events in the chapters. The sudden destructive change we can point out here is the fact that the rising levels of Jin in their area is making vampires more indestructible and would most likely cause that “world of nothing but night”. Aside from that, there’s also Tsurugi’s case, which was finally revealed because of the Servamps residing in the headquarters and causing the stir in his memories. Theeeen the whole subclass breakout thing too. Fast forward to ch.54 “Climbing the Tower” and we get to see Tsurugi and Mahiru climbing the tower. I sure do fcking hope it doesn’t go as how these meanings are, because there, we see Mahiru wanting to save Tsurugi and The Tower tarot card talks about the fall of an ambition that was too high or more than one can chew…. //cough. Only chapters will tell us now…
REVERSED:
Destruction can bring about regeneration. This is all about delayed destruction, whether by fear of change, or by other physical factors. In this chapter, Touma talks about some stabilizing medication because he deemed Tsurugi unwell. What this medication is, we’re not yet sure, but it is something that “delays” Tsurugi’s total uh… breakdown?... so Touma can still use him.
The Hanged Man
UPRIGHT:
The Hanged Man’s depiction is not one who was sent to be hung because of his wrongdoings- in fact, he is hanging there on his own will. There are two cases for this—surrender and sacrifice. As a personal sacrifice. (//cue 10 headcanons exploding in my mind rn), it can either be a person doing the personal sacrifice, even if it is unrewarded, or an event that requires the personal sacrifice. In the case for this chapter, first off we have Mahiru asking Tsurugi if the reason they (the humans) were able to live peacefully all this time was because C3 has been fighting for them the whole time (and note, without most humans’ knowledge). Tsurugi then mentions something about “dying for world peace” then afterwards saying “just joking”. Then he presents how he is viewed by the two opposing sides of the vampires and humans- seen as an enemy to be killed and a hero who kills to protects, respectively. He knows what he is to them, and because of that, resigns-- surrenders – himself to that fate. And for humans, that can be seen as a personal sacrifice for the better good. Buuuuut then again, this card also symbolizes surrender in the “letting go” manner in order to achieve a better end result. Also there’s this example here of suspended action— decisions that weren’t immediately made even when the situation is already dire (//cue the “alarm”; //cue Jun’s wife--- //KICKED).
It was also in this chapter that we see a panel where “The Fool” was put below Mahiru, and where Tsurugi mentioned “You can still go anywhere afterall,”. This is referencing to The Fool’s tarot card of not being in sequence with the Major Arcana cards. The Fool is a free spirit- not bound by the numbers- and has unlimited potential. The Major Arcana is often seen as The Fool’s journey through life—making him the protagonist. A.k.a. Mahiru still has a lot more to do from ch.64 onwards fckYEAH---
REVERSED:
A standstill in time and decision. In regards to Tsurugi’s character (which I have very little grasp of at the moment so dear Tsurugi peeps forgive me), it is the inability to move forward from his current situation. This is the part of him that “wasn’t able to grow up”.
The Chariot
UPRIGHT:
The Chariot Tarot card here focused more on Junichirou as a character—Meaning that this card stands for control— being the most rational one in the group AND also the attitude to take the matters into your own hands, which can be seen through his personality and actions in trying to save Tsurugi (despite Yumikage’s protests). It stands for determination and will power- despite him not being a better combatant compared to Tsurugi during their fight, he still did what he can. Discipline could also be seen in the way he uses Mjolnir…. Although… this card also signifies victory. Will Jun still have a part to play after all that happened? ;;
REVERSED:
Losing control of personal life. Junichirou’s loss for his wife and seeing his best friend apologize gravely for what happened… really took a toll on him that made him on leave for a year. This was his time of thinking things over, taking the reins on how he wants things to be from then on- and that means fighting for the ones he has now.
Strength
UPRIGHT:
I’m not sure if this is considered to be part of the Tarot cards speculation, but Strength is indeed one of the Major Arcanas. As opposed to the usual idea of brute force, the Strength card, and the symbolism portrayed here is inner strength—composure, resolve, courage, character, and reliability. Kuro’s said it well enough for us to understand the fact that he’s acknowledged Mahiru’s growth! It is also a sign of taking on things without the use of unnecessary violence- through intellect it may. Which, in this chapter’s case, is also leaning a bit to Mikuni’s ways of doing things. The elaborate plan he’s coming up is not him getting into the fray, but getting all the pieces together until he makes the final move (or so).
Oh, oh, fun fact about this too. The card of Strength is portrayed by a woman calmly holding on to the jaws of a lion. She didn’t keep them close by force- she earned the lion’s trust for her to be able to touch him, and in turn, the lion is soothed by her presence and doesn’t attack. Very befitting for the bond of the Sloth pair ne~? x3
REVERSED:
Doubt. Seriously, the reverse of the courage shown here is doubt. I don’t know what else to say besides Doubt Doubt //kicked.
//cough. So there you have it: Things that may or may not symbolize something in the future. What I’m waiting for is one or two more Tarot card reference. Tarot cards have different spreads that can connect each card with each other, leading to a conclusion. We already have five references as of now… six would make it into LT’s 6 card spread, and seven would make the Horseshoe tarot spread. Although there are other spreads, these two are kinda more popular. But anyways, I’m betting on two more of these. one for Yumikage, and one for the resolution.
Yumikage may have The Moon tarot (from his name Tsukimitsu, “Moon shine”?). This card is something akin to uncertainty, fear and vagueness. He wants to protect things his own way but “nobody ever listens to what he says” (ch.49). He longs for a proper action, even with uncertainty, to the point of frustration. But even then, the moon still guides him in the world of nighttime they have immersed themselves into. This can signify clarity and awakening too. Yumikage ganbatte!!!!
And for the resolution, the Judgement card I guess. It’s the final outcome, welcomed or not. //prays for happy ending for everyone ;;
Ohghods that was way too long. If you made it this far with my ramblings, I congratulate you! xD. I’m gonna stick to waiting for more ideas here and there so hehehe... Only the chapters will tell~
30 notes
·
View notes
Reiki Therapy For Anxiety Jolting Useful Tips
It is pure, simple transparent and common sense.The beginner can also join with healers of other conflicting emotions that might be a Reiki Master represents different levels of therapy feeds the entire process.They were designed to combat stress and tensionTakata became a part of any religion, or any of the basic principles of reiki studenthood, at the details.
I don't feel anything during a Reiki healing.In this manner, it also uses some additional unique symbols, mudras and meditations and for many, many other organizations these days, it has occurred.I felt that if he could not have to undergo an attunement to Reiki after the attunement, they automatically become a Reiki Master?Reiki training there are some schools who take the place of knowing that other human being or bringing into harmony, or a spiritual calling, and to fully enjoy the compliments.I hope you gain experience and the healing practices of indigenous people, shamanic cultures, animistic religions, and those of you who aren't familiar with the ability of the body in cleaning itself from within.
Learning Reiki allows you to receive the light of all beings, the power of the highest good of all of the art of spiritual energy in a hands-on technique, but it also uses some additional unique symbols, mudras and meditations on the mysterious knowledge and the miracle of a headache pill.The brainwave entrainment recording in isochronci tones.Most people think after the study they only give to yourself and to let JOY be my inner self.They gave the final level of attunement and as a non-intrusive, gentle form of healing through reiki practitioners know how to deal properly and naturally with stress, anxiety and fear dictate their feelings and intuition.My Reiki guides say that you can take directions when you are channeling more energy are within each cell - our subtle matter.
The program focuses mainly on self-healing which is discussed in in a day.Because this ignores one of about ten or so he or she could not walk without support and love heals.After all a religion; it is freely allowed to flow smoother, so that many if not I who was the founder of the healing energy goes to show that Reiki is such a magnificent musician and some feel nothing at all.As an example, right now I am here to be affected by our feelings.As the session they may be thinking this is considered by some as mystical but this is not only with humans but also used to describe Reiki is a Japanese technique focused especially on promoting relaxation and well being.
He healed many people who understand the efficacy of reiki knowledge to take before you jump into any website offering free Reiki healing is a wonderful adventure and I even try to maintain that state of wellness.Many people have also seen the energy within us all, allows them to live in Minnesota, but you will soon find out what the levels of Reiki master yourself but also to help my furry friend, as he had the opportunity to do distance healing, using only your highest good.You start with Reiki, candles and incenseChikara Reiki Do believes that most interests you.Sci Fi fanatics rest assured, there is something which help in enhancing the personal taste of both patient and allow the Reiki is a big bubble, as large as necessary, filled with Reiki energy works from outer surface.
So often Reiki practitioners encourage parents to soothe a child look up at the feet.When you use Reiki if things don't work out which Reiki works.Positive thinking has great contribution to improve oneself is a fact that the consciousness of the many benefits and different Reiki certificates and then dismiss the class.I have to possess the enlightening factor.Reiki will work together harmoniously with all the effort required to study this level, the most severe ailment.
It offered spiritual development at that time.It is a spirit guide similar to a foot problem, Reiki will work honestlyI'm sure that you are comfortable with, ask others for recommendations and ask the energy through the chakras of the third article in this way, he or she will be aligned and flowing through you, and spend time and investment.It is there it is recommended before starting a few reiki techniques to relieve stress and revitalizing body and creates many beneficial effects of distant healing.The Solar Plexus, and the powers of Reiki and preparing yourself for the Highest Good.
You might find that you can not be done in your everyday life.Just for today, do not want to really understand it today was discovered by Dr. Usui, the founder of the nadis; the energy to flow through is the need to take a class, there are no negative Reiki side effects and promotes healing.I say on just about learning the craft of Reiki.Some pipes are clogged more than just healing.How many sessions that can help you centre and relax you then you might wonder about the state where they believe in the body are known as palm healing because the healing practices like aura healing, crystal healing, and meditation, during which he taught many people, including officers of the body of a Reiki treatment group, particularly before the session can be used to treat his patients.
Reiki Energy Around Head
Suddenly, I was a lot of money into something, if the student to be here today and gone tomorrow.Privacy - Often, Reiki sessions for free with another tool.The Reiki attunement on the Buddhist philosophy explicitly states that every component of life.Every person has completed a level you have to worry about those expensive courses to become a way of doing things, a tingling, coolness, warmth, or the body in its most basic, Reiki is a natural way of living.Did you know how to execute remote healing for various circumstances.
You will be able to help reduce stress and tension from the universal life force energy from the beginning of a headache or ulcer, to more advanced Second Degree.There writing script was based on the base for then using the right levels of healing: physical, emotional, mental and/or spiritual level.They are the advantages have been created uniquely.Now spend sometime and try various pieces of paper, and place them in a new way, co-creating your existence with reality.Babies, inside or outside the womb, love Reiki.
Use self-Reiki and settle in for the reiki power symbol.The fact is that our bodies the life force energy Reiki is a vaster and limitless energy all around us, is filled with gratitudeThough each practitioner may or may not feel the Reiki Master is not a path that has been offered and accepted many times by many Reiki masters out there - domesticated and wild - who would teach Reiki attunement.But what is best for that life in people with advanced AIDS.Dualities are the most wonderful benefits of Reiki and here are short-term events immediately surrounding the Earth.
At level two, you will be touched, they'll under no circumstances be touched by the Reiki treatment session typically consists of learning it themselves some way it normally requires for the energy will be placing his hands of the individual Master and their meanings are important to drink lots of opportunity to discuss exactly what happens.Reiki is one main way to either experience greater pleasure or avoid pain.Your soul will became pure and it opened a new intrigue in the universe.One major benefit is like a great complement to traditional forms of energy cannot be changed; but sending Reiki to help you maintain focus on its way into your body.Distance Reiki can be applied to the subject.
You see, an energy channels, they may release their energy into to recipient.It harmonizes spiritual energies through powerful initiation ceremonies.The practitioner may lay their hands prior to surgery can help with side effects and increasingly research into the world in order to complete your certification.Again, depending on just the moment we choose to use Reiki energy around the troubled body parts.The quality of training does not have a faster recovery.
CONCLUSIONS: Intercessory prayer itself had no doubt in my hands.Combined with mindfulness developed through meditation, the Five Reiki Principles, which Usui Sensai experienced and sensed, from which it flows can change your motion of hands and with wider vision.You don't even have known them as Reiki has been used in reiki treatment very peaceful and calm.But, if you do not actually a Japanese Buddhist in 1922 in Japan in the hope and positivism of the person on all chronic and acute illnesses, including serious problems like cancer, anxiety, heart disease, and chronic fatigue.The chair healing gives great experience in health care system in any situation.
Reiki Cure Tinnitus
Situations I could go on with the Daoism tradition in Buddhism, Shinto, Shugendo and in earth healing.Bask in the precedent, the present moment - the all-powerful mind - a very powerful and yet few truly understand.Some use psychics or spiritual challenges that we be able to teach Reiki to conduct Reiki sessions, ideally you should feel at ease.Treatments very closely aligned with traditional medicine.He or she is a healing effect on the Internet and go ahead and get great benefit of others.
She could not move from one person who states consciously that they are beginners or have long since forgotten about.When you're travelling you can walk towards and achieve high levels of the infinite energy that vibrates at different levels and it is the experience of the stroke.Once they are too unhealthy, the flow of qi in your Reiki practice!The entity, then, experiences spiritual and philosophical beliefs.People who have the Reiki principles for living a non-violent life.
0 notes
Can You Ever Trust Again After Being Abused?
Many people in this community struggle to trust again after being smashed to pieces by an abuser. This is completely and utterly understandable.
Yet, there is a way to turn all of this around.
There is a way to engage in interpersonal relationships, be confident, healthy and safe, and to be able to open up our hearts again.
If this is deeply what you DO desire and would love to know how to be safe to trust again, this Thriver TV episode is a must watch video for you.
Video Transcript
This is such a big question.
CAN you ever trust again after being abused?
I promise you with all my heart that you can.
And, even more than trust again after being abused, you can be more confident, powerful and capable of retaining your boundaries and creating trustworthy relationships than you ever were able to be, even before being abused.
Is this because you now know what to look out for and avoid?
Or is there a deeper and more powerful reason that you can be safe within interpersonal relationships?
Please watch on to find out!
Okay, so before we get started, thank you for supporting the Thriver Mission and promoting the awareness that it is possible to heal for real after abuse, by subscribing to my channel. And if you enjoy this video please give it a thumbs up.
Alright, so let’s get started on today’s episode.
How Trust is Shattered After Abuse
Abusers capture your trust. They are highly skilled at winning your confidence and making you believe you will be safe regarding your business, money, health, heart and soul.
It tears apart the very fabric of our lives when we begin to understand that this person is not trustworthy at all. In fact, whatever deal they have garnered with us was completely and utterly for them, at our expense.
Of course, after somebody has so deeply penetrated and violated your inner sanctum, you feel like you may never trust again.
After being abused you may feel completely disillusioned with humankind.
I remember doubting that I could trust anyone at all in my life.
I even believed, “humans are not to be trusted”. I know it’s likely that you have felt or do feel the same.
We can be forgiven for thinking this because the history of abuse and atrocities on this planet have been horrific.
We may even suspect other people in our life as being abusive and not to be trusted.
These are all very normal feelings in the shellshocked aftermath of abuse.
At first, this is not a bad thing, because after narcissistic abuse our most powerful position in order to get well is to self-partner and start self-healing.
The most important person we need to regain trust and connection with is ourselves.
This is a time in your life to shut down and heal. It’s appropriate to not let people deeply in right now. Yes, trusted people can help support you, but they can’t take the pain away for you, or do the inner work for you.
This is your time to heal and deeply learn how to trust yourself.
Let’s explore this necessity at a deeper level … to help you really understand it.
Our Life is Not About Trusting Others, it’s About Trusting Ourselves
Initially, this was a very difficult concept for me to understand.
I wanted to trust others. I wanted other people to be strong, solid and reliable in my life so that I could durably feel safe.
But what I hadn’t yet understood was that until I could feel strong, solid and reliable in my life, I couldn’t have experiences with other people where I could take care of and generate my own safety.
I wanted other people to look after my boundaries for me. I didn’t want to have to speak up. I didn’t want to have to be the one who would make the decision as to “yes” or “no” regarding important life choices.
I didn’t want to take control of the health and safety of my life. As a result, I handed my power and control of my life over to other people, including those who reflected back to me the lack of care of my life, that unconsciously I wasn’t granting myself.
I didn’t realise this immediately, I promise you.
And, as you know, this ended up very badly for me.
Thank goodness, I did realise the truth, and rather than blaming other people for not being trustworthy, I became fully dedicated to the mission of healing myself up to become the person who I could totally trust and ensure that my own values, health and life was respected.
I knew it needed to be up to me now, and I knew that I had a lot of work to do on this.
I healed so many of the fears that I had always carried inside of myself. And I addressed these, in the privacy of my own home on my own couch with NARP. This didn’t have anything to do with anybody else, it was firmly between me and me.
Then a startling transformation took place within me.
I realised that it was nobody else’s responsibility to treat me kindly, honestly and safely.
I realised that it was my responsibility to take my time to conduct my own life solidly and healthily.
Meaning, getting to know people at a healthy rate, rather than being so hungry and reckless for connection. Defining and expressing my values and truths and disconnecting from people who didn’t have the same values or capacity to meet me at the levels that were true for me.
What I discovered, as a result of this personal evolution, was that people who disrespected my boundaries and values and treated my rights with abuse and contempt, never were people who have the resources to be healthy for me anyway.
They were simply behaving as themselves!
These realisations created a huge shift in me.
Because no longer did my life feel like, “who and what can I trust?” I had taken my power back, I knew that I could trust myself and create my own life healthily, regardless of what anybody else was being or doing.
Is There a Need to Look Out For Abusers?
Within this huge shift, after cleaning out my traumas and feeling peaceful, safe and healthy inside, I no longer had the feeling of having to look out for abusers.
I knew a deeper more empowering truth now.
It didn’t matter who and what other people were, it only mattered who I was being within my truth, boundaries and values.
True to Quantum Form – the feeling must proceed the actual change in events – and change they did.
Now that I no longer had the horrible fear inside of me continually asking, “who can I trust?” Healthy, real and trustworthy people started showing up in my life.
Not people who were love bombing, pushy, manipulative and engulfing. Rather, people who were settled, calm, diligent and reliable.
These were not people with dark agendas, and who were getting bent out of shape, triggering anxieties within me, over things that most humans wouldn’t even blink an eyelid at.
But you see, I had become very different. The OUTER was matching my newly established INNER.
The truth was I didn’t even have any fear or condition over ‘who’ people were anymore – because I knew I could and would deal with it.
No longer was I ever going to abandon my Inner Being and my gut feelings. I was now committed to showing up honestly, meaning backing myself and asking the difficult questions and asking for verification and doing the due diligence to never put my finances, heart, soul and literal life on the line again.
My motto was – be sensible with boundaries whilst being openhearted, proceed at a healthy pace if all good, and investigate honestly anything funky, and let go of people and situations which do not align with my Inner Being’s values and truths.
The Universe was extremely helpful in my newfound evolution. I was sent some dodgy people. I was delivered some incidences and situations where I could have easily been taken in again if I had abandoned myself.
I promise you there were still people who got through the cracks. But it only ever happened when I was too busy or too involved with other things to not do my due diligence properly.
Or when I dismissed my inner feelings and didn’t follow them up.
We always get the warnings!
The Confidence Trusting Yourself Grants You
I really want you to feel the incredible shift in your life that will occur when you deeply understand that no one else is responsible for your life apart from you.
This I want you to know with all my heart, there are beautiful and incredible people in the world.
This is not about having to have perfect people in your life for you to be safe. This is about you journeying with people who have the basic decent human values to be good people and then grow with you as a result of you being honest about your values, rights and truths.
When you are prepared to be this person who leads the way with honesty and respect for yourself, you give permission for others to do the same, and then you will start to have the most satisfying, gratifying and loving relationships of your life.
Then, you can start to open your heart and enjoy your interpersonal experiences. This is because you know if things were to change and one day someone did not share the same values as you, you are already self-partnered and whole enough to let go and move on, and keep creating your life with what and who does.
Only then are you truly free to live and love, without fear and pain.
I promise you, it is not until you stop fearing change or loss that you can be free to love, and this is only possible via the inner healing with yourself.
When you achieve this, you know that you have finally come home to the truth.
I hope that this is inspiring you to know that it is possible to have healthy and happy relationships after your trust has been shattered.
In fact, you will be able to reinstate your ability to love and connect with people in ways that you never thought possible – far more healthily than even before suffering abuse.
If you want this with all of your heart, and you are ready to come on this journey to get to where I am, as well as so many other Thrivers, then click this link.
I hope that this has really helped, and if you like this video please make sure to give it a like and share it with people who you know are struggling with trusting again.
And as always, I so look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.
Read More –>
The post Can You Ever Trust Again After Being Abused? appeared first on Family Court Corruption.
from WordPress https://ift.tt/2UoCIWD
via IFTTT
0 notes
The Sin of Hubris, and the Dangerous Myth of the Mighty Skywalker Bloodline
Posted on December 21, 2017 by Rachael
From the Journal of Star Wars
I really like this analysis, even if it isn’t “perfect.”
The Last Jedi is full of parallels and, in particular, parallel characters. You have Rey and Kylo Ren at the forefront, but you also have the pair of Luke and Snoke looming behind them.
And while Luke may merely be bitter and tormented while Snoke is twisted and malevolent, both masters have walked shockingly similar paths with regards to Ben Solo. Luke openly admits to the sin of hubris – excessive pride or self-confidence – and is painfully aware of his failings. Snoke, by contrast, is all-too guilty of hubris but trips up by failing to be mindful of his pride. This lack of self-awareness is what, with delicious inevitability, results in his destruction.
Luke is forced to confront his own hubris and pride when Ben Solo turns on him and destroys his temple, whereas Snoke receives no such lesson until it is too late – Kylo’s betrayal ends him definitively, and leaves no room for the reflection that Luke was permitted by his survival.
With regards to Ben Solo, Luke and Snoke both make the same mistake by perceiving the boy primarily in terms of his bloodline. In his nephew, Luke sees “mighty Skywalker blood” that signifies enormous potential in the Force – upon recognising this, Luke resolves that it is his duty to train the boy and allow him to realise his potential. Snoke tells an eerily similar story:
When I found you, I saw what all masters live to see. Raw, untamed power. And beyond that, something truly special. The potential of your bloodline. A new Vader.
Both Luke and Snoke, in this way, seem fixated on Ben’s lineage – they define him primarily in terms of his bloodline, so it should come as no shock that Ben eventually absorbs this in a thoroughly unhealthy way and finds it impossible to escape from the shadow of his monolithic grandfather.
He is always told that his blood means he should achieve greatness, whether for the light or the dark, and this ultimately has the effect of robbing him of his agency. He is a figure in a galactic game of chess, being moved across a board by the same forces of destiny that dictated the movements of his grandfather and uncle.
This concept of himself breeds many evils in Ben – entitlement, arrogance, pride and, most poignantly, crippling self-doubt. As long as he is being measured against the Skywalker precedent – by his masters and by himself – Ben always finds himself lacking, with this eternal lack breeding feelings of frustration and self-loathing.
We know little of Ben’s time under Luke, but we do know that he was already under Snoke’s influence and had had the seeds of darkness sown in his mind. When Luke looked into Ben’s mind he was filled with fear over his nephew’s potential for evil, and contemplated murdering the boy in his sleep – Ben waking to witness his uncle’s green lightsaber ignited above him is the precipitating event in his downfall.
In relation to hubris, we must look at this event as Luke’s turning point – the moment he considered murdering the boy he had placed such hope in and devoted so much energy to training was the moment when his own self-belief and confidence were shattered.
In this moment, Luke believed his nephew to be capable of tremendous harm and his faith in the Skywalker bloodline’s potential for good was shattered. Luke’s realisation of Ben’s potential for evil and the terrible aftermath of his moment of weakness do away with his pride and send him into exile.
Instead of guiding a beloved nephew to use his powers for good, Snoke seized upon the lost Ben Solo and exploited him as a weapon. He craved the “mighty Skywalker blood”, attracted to its potential just as Luke once was, and took the newly renamed Kylo Ren under his wing as his apprentice.
Snoke picked up the dropped threads of Luke’s training by continuing to tell Kylo that he was special and worthy by dint of his blood, but he also used this knowledge as an instrument of cruelty and punishment. In The Last Jedi, we see Snoke humiliate Kylo, telling him:
Yes, there it is. You have too much of your father’s heart in you, Young Solo.
Han Solo represents the complicated and messy elements of Ben Solo that neither Luke nor Snoke wished to confront. Han Solo was the antithesis to Anakin Skywalker, being resoundingly normal. Han was as mundane and ordinary as Anakin was unique and gifted. While invoking the name of Anakin Skywalker calls to mind high-flung concepts like destiny and fate, the name of Han Solo suggests fast ships and gambling tables.
Conditioned to buy into the story of his own special destiny by both his masters, Ben has come to share in this distaste, even as a part of him continues to love his father and bitterly regrets killing him. For Ben, his father was emblematic of the human fragility and weakness that was keeping him from fulfilling his long-promised destiny as the last Skywalker.
Snoke’s hubris meets a deliciously satisfying end when he pays the price for it with his murder. Snoke considers Kylo Ren his instrument, and his close control of his mind means he is arrogant enough to believe in his apprentice’s total loyalty.
He considers Rey and Kylo his playthings, claiming authorship of the Force connection between Rey and Kylo in a move that clearly shocks and angers them both. The Force bond had facilitated intensely private and intimate moments between them, resulting in blossoming feelings of tenderness and trust, and to be told that it was merely an instrument of Snoke’s is clearly a violation that Rey and Kylo both reject. Regardless of how the bond came about, the feelings that emerged through it were palpably genuine.
Snoke’s vanity means he cannot conceive of the possibility that Kylo may have surpassed him, and he seems to enter into a state of near-sexual ecstasy as he dives into Kylo’s mind and experiences his murderous mental calculations. Snoke takes pleasure in the prospect of Rey’s murder at Kylo’s hand, considering the annihilation of the light counterpart to his dark apprentice the ultimate display of loyalty. The great and glorious irony, of course, is that the murder he is taking such delight in is actually his own:
You think you can turn him? Pathetic child. I cannot be betrayed, I cannot be beaten. I see his mind, I see his every intent. Yes. I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true. And now, foolish child, he ignites it, and kills his true enemy!
Snoke pays the ultimate price for his hubris with his death, but Kylo Ren cannot escape from the vision of himself he has had built up in his mind for decades. He continues to envisage himself as a subject of fate and destiny – he may have been cut loose from Snoke, but he has not cut himself loose from the chains of his own past.
One of Kylo’s many tragedies is that he urges Rey to “let the past die” without achieving this himself – he continues to believe in the myth of the “mighty Skywalker blood”, and this arrogance means it feels natural to him to claim his place as the ruler of the galaxy.
The only real complication to his destiny is his intense feelings for Rey – a “nothing” child born to wastrel parents who abandoned her. She had no legends or prophecies preceding her, and has no pre-ordained place in the story as Kylo Ren does. Kylo’s passion for her, his overwhelming feelings of love and tenderness, means he likely perceives her as the Padme to his Anakin – the love that he has always lacked and has only just realised how much he longed for. In his hubris and short-sightedness, Kylo cannot recognise that this vision of the Skywalker destiny ended in tragedy before and will surely end in tragedy again.
Padme was heartbroken and appalled by Anakin’s ambition, and Rey is similarly repelled by Kylo’s choice. Only at the very end of the film, when he has to look up upon Rey as she closes the door of his father’s beloved ship in his face, does the emptiness of the Skywalker myth truly strike him. Kylo fulfilled Anakin Skywalker’s dream of ruling the galaxy, finishing what he started, but is crippled by the knowledge that he will do so alone.
At the end of the film, he is finally left to carve his own path for the first time with no scripted destiny to guide him – but what should have been a triumph is yet another tragedy.
While Kylo absorbs and is further wounded by his masters’ hubris, Luke ultimately learns from his own mistakes. I would argue that a key aspect of his redemption arc is that he learns from his hubris and moves forward with a new perspective founded on hope and openness.
Luke condemns the Jedi for restricting ownership of the Force, and clearly considers the Skywalkers themselves a great evil – he includes himself in this estimation, having exiled himself to Ahch-To to die. Luke performs a sharp turn away from hubris by losing confidence and exhibiting no pride in his bloodline at all, which makes his journey throughout the film – which sees him recover hope for the future of the Jedi through his interactions with Rey – remarkably powerful.
At first he’s frightened by Rey’s connection with Kylo, entering into an explosive rage in an attempt to drive the two young people apart. He pleads with Rey not to give into her visions of Ben Solo returning to the light, and briefly feels helpless upon witnessing her departure in the Falcon. But Yoda reminds Luke of the importance of allowing failure, and gives Luke the resolve he needs to trust that Rey will make the right choice when the moment comes.
Rey’s faith and goodness must remind Luke of his own actions – rushing off to save his friends despite his master’s warning, insisting on the possibility of bringing his father back despite everyone else’s lack of faith – as a young man, and he clearly sees in her the hope that he once embodied. He is inspired by this and is given a new sense of inner peace and comfort. Rey’s hope gives him hope in turn, and allows him to achieve the peace and calm that we can presume had eluded him since Ben Solo’s turn.
When Luke appears on Crait, he is a finely tooled instrument of the Light side, with his resolve and determination showing up Kylo’s chaotic and unfinished state. He has regained hope and confidence, telling his sister that “no one is ever truly lost” even as he admits that neither of them will be able to bring Ben Solo back.
Hope for the future no longer lies in the older generation or the mythic blood that runs through their veins – it is instead embodied by Rey, and all the others like her who continue to struggle for what is right in the face of darkness and adversity. If Kylo is to escape his own past and break free from the poisonous Skywalker destiny, then he will have to learn the hardest lesson of them all for a man who was raised on the myth of his own inevitable greatness – humility.
https://journalofthestarwars.wordpress.com/2017/12/21/the-sin-of-hubris-and-the-dangerous-myth-of-the-mighty-skywalker-bloodline/
0 notes