#i hope tomorrow is even better than today!

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 19

"We're An American Band" by Grand Funk Railroad

#song of the day #though actually it might be the version by Poison I can't quite tell #I have again not done fuck all today but sleep so I'm farming the song of the day out again. to Nick this time! he's playing it downstairs #I do feel better than I did yesterday so I've high hopes that tomorrow I might be conscious for perhaps even multiple consecutive hours! #I've got so many recurring timers and alarms across the days. meds meals check my work email etc #every four hours there's one that says 'half a gatorade again you raisin' and I don't actually remember setting that one #if i'd been properly awake I'd have known to make it shorter. as it is until I unlock my screen the phone just says HALF A GATOR #which every time hits me so fucking funny but also I can't laugh for coughing #anyway I think the song of the day posts are doing wonders for my ability to tell time as I move through this intermittently-fevered limbo #it's dark outside more than half the day but also I haven't been keeping my plant lights to a schedule so my room's always lit anyway #and if it weren't for the daily DIARY SONG alarm I feel like I'd be having a lot more trouble marking off 24hr cycles #handy

[thelivingsin]

try not to do any activity on discord other than staying invisible and focus on your own mental health in 3, 2, 1, go! (has started since morning)

seriously though.

i miss those two, i wish i was able to say hi in the server but mentally and emotionally i'm not doing well. sorry guys :(

#guys pls remember i love you all. i love these THREE (other one isn't on discord sad) #i'm not used to being unavailable to literally anyone i know so like. hi i hope you understand why i'm more active on tumblr/fb than dc rn #especially with the stuff i said yesterday???? i'm really SORRY YOU HAD TO CARRY MY EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE AND SHIT #i know i said we have to separate personal stuff from work because it makes me uncomfortable myself but here we are oh shit oh fuck #i guess i am baby 😓😓😓 #i don't wanna be babied anymore 😓 i dont feel like im even growing #please help #tldr something happened at school today. that's why i'm here venting #fr something made me so uncomfortable it dropped my mood. i'm so sorry. i hope i get better tomorrow :(((( #missing entry #the institute

[fruixtii]

fireworks always make me emotional for some reason…

#eid fireworks are always 100x better than fourth of july fireworks imo #even though i was born and raised in america it still means nothing to me 🫤 #anyways eid mubarak! tomorrow i have to go out to a farm and stay there the whole day 🥲 #lets hope i don’t die of heatstroke #it was really hot today and i know it’s going to be worse tomorrow #i don’t think i’ll have anything to do there so i might still be active on here #or maybe i’ll bring my ipad so i can draw

[croakings]

wrote like 5 thousand words for nano today,,,,,, we are ALMOST out of that deficit lol

#* #nano #''oh yeah i'll catch up during my vacation'' i say and then do the adjusted minimum (if even) the whole time and ONLY #go hard like. two days out of the whole week #i had a 9k lag that i kept creeping out of and then kicking myself back into but WE ARE BACK BABEY #i have to do an extra 600 ONLY tomorrow and then i'm back to the 1667 minimum. #god. this year is kicking my ASS #wait until you see my graphs. they're ven better than they should be because some days #i put my wordcount. Not where it was. to not fall into a pit of deapair at my sad lines #so my triumphant returns are leas visible but even with my lying to myself. you can absolutely see the slumps. #anyway #TODAY WAS SO HARRRRD good lord i hope 50k finishes this up. #otherwise since i think it'll get me close i'll have to KEEP WRITING and then i have to EDIT and tho. i Love editing. #i have been sitting around so much i am tired of sitting around. i'm going to throw mothman (my laptop) out a window. #be free old friend....................... reach for the sky........................................... #DOUBLE anyway #wwwwwouuuugggggggghh even takinf a year off writing really kills you. #i say. as tho i haven't been writing more than usual this year actually. #BUT ITS BEEN SHORT STUFF..... little bursts......... Not Like This lmaoooooo #1 month to write 6k is not nano. these are different beasts. #triple. AND quadruple anyway. i hope the ao3 folks tell me i am so funny and good at writing by GOD do nice comments help the pain....... #who DOESN'T giggle and kick their feet when someone says Whoa This Rules. i sure do. it keeps me going. #ok i have used up my last anyway goodbye. fare thee well fellow writers may you too survive the rest of this last week #and be showered with a bunch of compliments when you're done. here's one from me: #you're doing so good and you are so strong and brave for tackling nano and your story ROCKS you've worked so hard on it. #i hope u r proud bc u deserve to be. even if you dropped out. that story is still in your Brain. and it can hatch one day even if #it's different from how it is now. and if it doesn't hatch it can keep you company forever. and that rules too. #i am SO TIRED but with the last of my strength. a kissaroo from me to you. muah. fight on 🫡💪

[byanyan]

staring off into the distance realizing that it's been a week since i jotted down notes for stuff i was excited to write and i've only written out, like. two of them.

#medication has really fucked me this week (': #i've gotten all the worst uncommon side-effects #crazy anxiety... nausea... dizziness/feeling like i'm gonna pass out... insomnia... restless legs... muscle pain... feeling Weird... #can't explain that last one but when i saw 'odd state of being' on the side-effects list i was like 'oh yep that's it' #it's been fun (: felt like. vaguely human today though. a lot better than yesterday so. hoping tomorrow is even better #and then maybe i can actually think clearly and get some writing done #bc i'm SO IMPATIENT to reply to so many things rn and it's making me so mad that i haven't been able to #instead i have been stuck watching my dash from afar while i distract myself from the misery with video games lmao #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.

[jessiesjaded]

...

#I'll put depresso talk in the tags to spare innocent bystanders #I just cannot figure out if the little cat is done for or not #like sometimes she seems better and is meowing super loud bc she wants to go out #and then other times she just seems... idk i look at her and im like is this it? #are you going to go to sleep and not wake up? #the most frustrating thing is that she was always skinny since she first wandered up to the door #and one day she'll love food and then the next she does not go near it #like treats that she would decimate one week the next she wont even look at and then the week later she will #she ate some chicken breat i cut up small today so shes not totally empty but shes def not interested #is this the normal thing she always did or is it like the same thing with my old dog #like its impossible to tell if shes just being her weird self + recovering from last week #or if its like something more serious #i looked at the paperwork the vet gave me and turns out they never did a blood test so ??????? wouldnt that be the first thing you'd do #idk man its just worse than not knowing for sure #if i knew there was no hope id be sad but its an answer #as of right now its just an unknown quantity and i dont know what to do for her #whatever shes going back to the vet tomorrow hopefully they'll at least give her some fluids since shes not drinking enough #and check her teeth and just see whats happening #Honestly after watching my Nana horrifically die in march I really dont want another death this year #especially since this cat kinda showed up not long after my nana and was a bright spot #like i wish she could just be healthy and happy

[shinehyuk]

some girls took my place??

#and now i have to sit in the first desk in middle row. and you can guess how that looks #my class is very mean to 'loners' and i stand out even more now. sooner or later they'll get to me #i just wish they asked if they could sit there? or if they could sit beside me? #it's true that i came in late but they knew i was always sitting there. i just think it's mean #i'm going to get up super early tomorrow to take it back because idc. i'm not going to be bullied again #thankfully we don't have a lot of lessons today but still #i know that i would ask before taking someone's fixed place. it's an unspoken rule and it's nice #sorry if i sound rude but i've been sitting there for a while and they knew it. i'm going to be targeted by the class #sigh #anyways bye i hope you're all doing better than me today <3 #gotta go to class now lol

[orcelito]

A testament to how fucking Awful my post-hiking soreness has been. I got out of bed & had a moment of like "Wow! That wasn't verging on agonizing to do! My muscles Must be getting better!"

Then as I walked to the bathroom, I had a moment of "... 🤨 you're still limping, though."

#speculation nation #yes the muscle soreness has been bad enough ive been limping the past two days hfkdhfjd #that and the blisters. 1 main one and 2 lil ones. all three hurt like a Bitch after my shower yesterday so i had them in bandaids #same foot. poor thing was just bandaid smattered. #but yea my legs have been Kind Of Agonizing. they were Aaaaching last night even just lying down #but ive been eating a lot of protein & theyre definitely getting better #they still hurt. but it's not like. total fuckin agony to move. #tho my left leg kept trying to give out today at work hfkshf same as yesterday #(it's my left foot that's fucked up. not directly related to the leg trying to give out but it sure isnt helping) #that kind of thing of me putting weight on my left leg in a way that makes it start to Buckle. #and then i catch myself with my right leg. why my left leg is worse than my right i couldnt tell U. #and i have worked 10 hours on these bitch ass legs already. Cringe lmao. #i have tomorrow(today) off thankfully so im hoping my legs r more recovered by my next shift. #it's kind of miserable lol #i do NOT regret it in the slightest!!!!!!! hiking was SO much fun and i would do it again in a heartbeat. frolicking and all. #just. sometimes. u have a little too much fun for 3 hours and ur body pays for it for days. rip. #at least my legs r getting even stronger bc of it lollll

[afieldinengland]

.

#spoke to my friend today and i feel a lot better. good god the world will never be ready for that woman she’s magic #i’ve never heard anyone more chipper in the face of a possible cancer diagnosis. i want to emphasise again of course that if it is cancer #it is the most incredibly treatable easy to deal with kind you could hope for. ‘a bit of chemo’ she said like she was describing a module or #a seasoning. she is so so endlessly brave my best friend #and she was much better at explaining it than my mother was. directly hearing from the person with the illness that a doctor has said You’re #Going To Be Fine will always be better than hearing from another person who is addled and crying. bless #no she’s going to be well she really is. eventually. her biopsy is actually happening tomorrow which is much faster than we could have even #hoped for. oh thank christ she’s going to be okay she’s tough as old boots. taking it with a smile really she’s incredible

[asummersday]

.

#not quite a vent but #todays been a low energy kind of day #a bit heavier than yesterday and thursday #ive been wasting the day mostly doomscrolling and trying to manifest the energy to do at least one productive thing #so i dont feel like ive wasted a day #last night was fine. i was doing good. i even managed to write a little #todays just. ugh. thats the mood #school is officially over but i still have lots of things to figure out and its just. tiring to think about #i know itll pass. and i know i need to be patient w myself #but i hate those days #i just feel bad. no energy. like theres a cloud hanging over my head #heres to hoping tomorrows better :// #in some better news as well. i talked to my parents abt this #and it went so much better than i couldve hoped for #its still weird. like im waiting for the other shoe to drop but i think thats just me #if u read all of that here's a cookie and a hug and a reminder to hyrdate!! drink water!!! #<333

[gena-rowlands]

i tried to make three different gifsets and they all went awfully </3 on top of that i didn’t get any actual work done so! big flop!

#two of the sets were cm and i'm honestly giving up with that filmed-on-a-potato ass show #and one was a shiv set but it just... idk it didn't look right #think i stared at photoshop for too long today #gonna go for coffee with a friend tomorrow morning and not even think about giffing until the eve #hope everyone had a better day than me! #jeantxt

[p-i-t-s]

I get so nervous asking people for things that benefit me so idk How I'm gonna ask my boss if I can leave early TWICE this week

#meow.txt #Even if I can only leave an hour early that will be better than the full 7 hours #Also this guy kept bothering me today i hope he's not there tomorrow #It was another employee which was so annoying #I attract only the people I want nothing to do with

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Gonna pull an all nighter while I'm sick before going to work for a whole eight hours

#i am NOT #I'm probably gonna call in sick #i left work early because i have something going on with my tummy #i feel like I'm gonna throw up but i can't #with my luck though I'd be in the middle of talking to a customer when my body decides it can #i took a nap earlier so it's hard for me to get to sleep now #i have to decide very soon if I'm going to go or not #like i need the money but i want to die a little bit #i don't like that I'm living in a world where i have to seriously consider going to work while I'm sick #because even one day off can have dire financial consequences #as of right now i think I'd rather die than go to work tomorrow but i also have to pay rent and shit so. #idk i don't feel any better than when i left work earlier today #at this point i would get a crisp six hours of sleep and have to go to work with that and a sick stomach #whatever. Sundays are slow so it won't be too bad #let's hope i can sleep so i can at least get my full six hours #goodnight all

[inkykeiji]

Today turned into a very depressing day but your pieces of smut (especially that wholesome shower one with hawks) really made this day much more bearable and amazing. Thank you so much!

aw anon 🥺🥺🥺 i’m so sorry today is a rough day for you :( i am sending you so much of my love and tons of positive vibes sweetpea <333 and i am so, so honoured to hear this!!!!!! i can’t tell you how special and important this is to me, so thank YOU so much for sharing it with me <3 i appreciate you and your support so very much, and i’m super happy my work can be there to cheer you up, or make you feel better, or even just help you get through a tough time <3 i love u sm!!!

#thank you so so so much for sharing this with me bb <3 #i truly am so sorry you’re having a tough time today :( #but you are strong and you are beautiful and whatever it is that’s got you down today: you’re going to make it through it #and you’re going to come out of it shining even brighter than you did before <3 #much love to you my friend <3 #i hope tomorrow is much better for you <333 remember that you are so loved!!!!!!! by me and all of ur fave anime boys/girls/people!!!!!! #♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ ) stay safe today and be extra gentle with yourself #inky.bb #clari gets mail

[solpng]

hey <3

#good evening <3 hope everyone's doing alright #my second shopping trip yesterday was also a bust and i came back w more shit i can't wear to the wedding 💀 #had to take a 19 hr nap after that i'm completely exhausted #today i got to take a rest but tomorrow after i pick my niece up from school i'm gonna have to venture out again for clothes #which is my last chance bc the wedding's on saturday :/ #i was thinking ab it and i haven't left the house this much in one week since like? i was in middle school?? 😭 #it's uh. a challenge. i'm doing better than i thought i would though #idk. it's stressful #and painful #my body isn't used to all this so when i return home from these trips i gotta go right to bed bc it literally hurts to move #i miss my routines ngl #i feel like my whole world's out of order rn and i can't keep up w all things i have to do and want to do #can't wait til all this wedding shit is over

[timehascomeagain]

Im sore and guilty and i want to be held until the feelings go away. <- 24/7 shouted chant in the back of my brain

#i feel so badd😭😭 i will always put myself ahead of what i owe other people but not in a good way in a deeply selfish unkind unpleasant #way. like girl no one cares u were overwhelmed with school and work get a fucking grip on yourself. #i dont know what it is i just find it all so difficult. i feel like ill always let people down by dropping out of touch so it's just better #not to try at all WHICH DOESNY EVEN MAKE SENSE.......... #but i feel so bad bc my mum so #unded so put out when she asked why i hadnt been texting her while she was away #and i didnt even have an answer #and i feel this visceral tug of grief every time i think of my grandma as if shses not still alive and also waiting to hear from me. it all #feels so frahile and temporary and like theres so much riding on it all and im so stressed and it's not good. anne Carson did you ever figu #re out where to put it down etc #im just so freaked out. i have to write 3 essays tomorrow ajd clean the house and avoid getting into any shit with my family. it's all #painfully real now ngl #i feel so alone but i cant bring myself to nurture the connections ive got. especially family. and it sucks. i wish it didnt feel like it #is all on me to keep everything together. #like i guess it's just a matter of really really trying to balance everything bc at the end of the day id rather have a late essay than kno #w i put an essay before my family. #but it's all just sooooooooòooooooiioooooiioioioiouououiyoririioo #Omfg i realized today that the intro of free in the knowledge uses the same chord progression asthat 1 bit of sweet song thats like #And ahhhhh it seems that we keep falling apart but i hope i see the good in you come back again. which i think is neat. #also i think someone is using the blundering #the blender* and i am not impressed. #oh my god im just so tired i think getting a job might have been a mistake. i think surviving birth was a mistake actually🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼